#I am way to emotional to writ about this right now but who cares

[impossible3girl]

Olivia Benson in the SVU season 23 finale

"... and he [Elliot] always had my back."

Yeh sure apart from the 10 years were he did not once talk to you. The 10 years were you got kidnapped, your son got kidnapped and god knows what else happened to you. It's probably easier to list the things that did not happen.

But you know who had your back since you know him?

Right! Rafael Barba the guy who loves you unconditionally. He even stayed in contact after he left and was making sure you were alright like after what happened with Tucker.

And yeh maybe it was not right defending Weathley (haven't seen any of the episodes yet so I don't know the whole situation but I am also not avoiding spoilers) but I know Rafa loves you unconditionally and he would never hurt you and do something like that, that probably also conflicts with his morals if there was not a higher reason like the alternative being even worse for you. All that man wants to do is protect you.

From what I can tell based on the last scene he loves you so much he would give up a future with you so you can be with Elliot if it means that you are happy. That's why he told you about your feelings for Elliot even though he loves you. That is, having your back. Not what Elliot did these ten years and from what I have seen since he is back. He is so self-centred.

And don't get me wrong back in the days I shipped Bensler but I think Elliot had his chance and missed it and your relationship has become way too toxic for you to be happy especially compared to Barson.

[artzee-bee]

End of all things [1] | Chat Noir x witch!reader

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug (Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir)

Summary: Y/N had been Chat Noir’s friend and moral support for a long time now. Even though she had magical powers too, she never liked getting involved with akuma attacks, but now, as Hawkmoth’s gotten control of the miraculous of creation, she couldn’t stay indiferent anymore. She had to save her friend and Paris!

Genre: Mostly angst? A little fluff

Warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of death/dying

A/N: This was requested, but as I was writting it, it got very long and I’ve decided to post it in 2 parts. I’m not gonna post the request just now, so as to not spoil the rest of the story but Part 2 will be coming out on friday!!!

Part 2

~~~

Chat was pacing around the room, waiting for you to be done with your potion. You had heard from your parents that there had been a new akuma attack today, but as the news reported, the two parisian heros took care of the problem in no time. For this reason, Chat’s presence at your house felt unusual. Normally he would stop by when he needed to rant, when he was in need of comfort and reassurance but the fight today went well, so what could possibly be bothering him?

“Ok, I’m done” you said, screwing the cap on the little bottle and placing it on your shelf “Wanna talk?” you asked, to which Chat gave you a shy smile

“Yeah, a little”

You made your way to your bed, motioning for him to follow you. You got under your covers and passed him his favorite plushie, a cat to no one’s surprise

“So what’s up? Is it about the fight today?”

“Well no it’s more like a...personal problem?”

“Oh…”

“Claws out” in a rush of light and electricity, the infamous hero vanished before you, transforming into Adrien Agrest

“Well, what is it?” 

Adrien revealed his identity to you months ago. You first met him as Chat, but when you really got to know each other, he decided you needed to know all of him. Well, he needed you to know all of him.

You listened to him rant until way past midnight. Until you were both too tired to stand up straight, so you laid down in your bed, covers up to your necks, muffled stories told in between yawns. You listened carefully, giving him your full attention. He fidgeted with the collar of the stuffed toy and you used your magic to make 2 hot chocolates. Eventually, everything that needed to be said, was said. You offered Adrien to watch a movie, since that always cheered him up, but he refused

“It’s late and I have a photoshoot early in the morning. My makeup team will be angry with my dark circles anyways, better not make it worse” he joked

Adrien transformed back into Chat and you cast a safety spell on him, which you did every time he left your house late at night. He always teased you about being ‘too protective’, but deep down he found it sweet how much you cared and wanted to know that he would get home in one piece.

“Night Chat” you said, wrapping your arms around the hero

“Good night Y/N!”

The next few days went by quietly. You hadn’t run into Adrien at all, but you texted a bit back and forth. Sunday evening however, things took a toll for the worst. You turned on your tv, ready to catch up with your show when you heard Nadja Chamack’s voice doing the news report

“It seems as though Rena Rouge and Chat Noir are struggling to stay on their feet! They have taken shelter under a fallen bus, leaving Ladybug alone to defeat Hawkmoth'' your pulse skyrocketed. As you watched the screen you could see Chat and Rena off to the side, struggling to catch their breath. Rena seemed to be in pain while Chat was trying to help. Ladybug was using her yoyo the best she could in order to protect herself from the supervillain, who was wielding his cane like a sword over her head. The fight was clearly going in Hawkmoth's favour! You grabbed your jacket and ran out the front door and onto the empty streets of Paris, towards the Eiffel Tower, where the fight was taking place. 

People screamed at you from their balconies to go home, warning you about the fight and the danger you were putting your life in but you didn’t care. All you could think about was how they needed you. Chat needed you! Every late night talk and every inside joke shared between you two replaid in your head like a broken record. Behind Chat’s tough mask, his alter ego of hero and protector, was the fragile figure of Adrien Agreste. The young blonde boy who cried during romantic comedies, who liked to have his hair braided and forgot how to speak when someone complimented him. If you didn’t help, the heros would loose and he would most likely die! Alongside Ladybug and Rena who, even though you didn’t know their real identities, were still young girls. As you ran down the street, you heard kids crying inside one of the homes. You ran past but at the last second you heard Nadia’s voice coming from their tv

“Ladybug was akumatized”

You approached the Eiffel tower from the side, where you could see everything going on. In front of the tower, right next to Hawkmoth, stood Marinette Dupain-Cheng, dressed in a tight, dark red suit, darker than Ladybug’s. Black butterflies replaced the dots of the heroine's suit and the purple butterfly mask of Hawkmoth’s control was shining over her face. Marinette was Ladybug! She did, in fact, get akumatized. On the other side, you saw Rena and Chat, struggling to stay up right. They were obviously in a lot of pain and extremely tired, but Hawkmoth was merely mocking them.

“After all this time” Chat spoke up, but his breaths were shallow and rapid “I thought you’d know one thing about us! We don’t give up without a fight. Never will. Especially not against you” and with that, the two ran at each other.

“It doesn’t have to end like this, you know?” he said “We don’t have to fight to death. I wouldn’t want to have that on my conscience. All you have to do is give me your miraculouses willingly. The town will be safe, you will be safe! It’s the most heroic option you’ve got. You won’t be any good to Paris if you are dead”

You knew this was not just another fight between them. This was it. Either the heros won or everything they’ve worked for would be lost. Hawkmoth would win and get his hands on both miraculous and god knows what kind of destruction that would bring not only upon Paris, but the world. You focused all your energy in one spot in the air, right between where Chat and Hawkmoth were supposed to clash but before they could reach each other, you sent a wave of energy that blew both of them apart, like a bomb. Hawkmoth flew back into the Eiffel tower while Chat hit the pavement with a thud. Confused and certainly disturbed, both of them began looking around for an answer as to what happened when, finally, Hawkmoth’s eyes landed on yours.

“Aha, miss Y/L/N. What a spectacular honor to finally meet you!” you didn’t reply, instead you stood tall, maintaining eye contact

“I know a lot about you. Seen a lot. Felt a lot of your emotions. None of them can compare to the powers I’ll have with the two miraculouses. With Ladybug’s earrings and the guardian under my control, I’d say my mission here is almost over’’

“Y/N get back!’’ Chat screamed but you were too involved now to run. This was your fight too.

“It is time you give up Hawkmoth. Paris is not yours, neither are the miraculouses. We will destroy you, no matter what it takes!”

“Listen to yourself, kid! <<Destroy me>>? The most you can do is pull a rabbit out of your hat…” before he could finish his sentence, you snapped your fingers in his direction and instantly, the ground around beneath Hawkmoth and akumatized Marinette, fractured. From within the cracks, many tangled plants came out, encapsulating the 2 villains. You sprinted towards Chat and Rena, ignoring the signs of struggle coming from the prison of weeds.

 Alongside the two superheros, you hid inside a corner coffee shop, which was now empty.

“Y/N, you need to leave!! You are putting yourself in too much danger!” Rena told you, as she collapsed to the ground from exhaustion

“Stop with that already! I am here and I’m not going anywhere!”

“Yes you are!” Chat looked at you. His voice was calm and yet, his eyes were filled with disappointment “You are not a superhero. This is our job!”

“You need help”

“No we don’t!” Chat had never, in all your years of friendship, raised his voice at you, let alone yell “ You need to stay safe! You could die! Hawkmoth doesn’t care about anything if it helps him get what he wants! I am ready to take that risk. Rena is too” you both turned to the red headed hero, only to see her slowly nod “But I can’t allow you to take it”

“You can’t tell me what to do”

“I don’t want you to die!” he screamed again “I love you and I will never forgive myself if you don’t come out of this alive!”

Before you could say anything, you saw Hawkmoth and his minion, through the cafe window, cutting through the last of the plants and escaping your trap. You grabbed Chat’s arm and pulled him to the floor, from where you could not be seen

“We’re in this together now” you said in a stern voice, looking the blonde kid right in his eyes “Whether you like it or not '' this time, he simply nodded.

You stuffed your hands into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out 3 little bottles, containing a mate, green liquid. You had prepared one for each of the heros, now you’d only need two.

“Here, drink this!” You handed each of them one “Regeneration potion. Should put you back on your feet.” as soon as they finished drinking the brew, you could see color coming back to their faces

“Where’s Marinette’s akuma??” 

“Her necklace” replied Rena “It’s a gift from her kwami”

“Got it. You deal with Hawkmoth. I’ll bring Marinette back!”

Chat and Rena exited through the front door, grabbing Hawkmoth’s attention. He called out to Marinette to attack, but before she could take a single step in your direction, you had snuck up behind her. Using a simple invisibility spell, you managed to exit unnoticed behind the two heros. It finally felt like the fight had truly begun. From the corner of your eye you could see Chat and Rena doging Hawkmoth’s attacks while you, were doing your best to get your hands on the stupid necklace! Even though she couldn’t see you, Marinette seemed to almost always know what your next move was. She would expertly block all your attack and would keep you an arm’s length away at all times. Finally, you had enough and in one swift motion, you pinned her back to your chest, ripping the necklace away. A wave of black and purple took over the both of you and when it vanished, all you were left with was a half unconscious Marinette in your arms. You dropped her to the ground slowly as she was coming back to her senses. You wanted to talk to her but your thoughts were driven away as you heard Chat scream bloody murder.

On the opposite side of the platza, you saw Hawkmoth rip Chat’s ring off his finger, forcing him to detransform. The exhausted figure of Adrien Agreste fell to the ground with a thud. Hawkmoth had, indeed, gotten his hand on both the miraculouses.

[dangermousie]

CFC Chapter 54

“A crashing car?” Ahahahaha I see you, Meatbun. But it was indeed an utter pileup!

I know I commented on this passage in its various iterations eight billion times already but I still have more to say. And it’s that XQC taking so long to realize that even though HY is young, his emotions and feelings are as genuine and strong as those of anyone older is so realistic - people do tend to think that especially with regard to children - think of a reaction of an adult to a three year old crying over ice cream they dropped. It’s all amused even if not meanly so. Because to an adult with vastly more experience, this is not a big deal. But what that forgets is that whether it’s ridiculous to someone else or not, to the person at issue that is a real feeling, AND that of course a person can only feel through the lens of their experience - what else is there? Emotions aren’t any less valid because they are informed by lesser or different experience.

Honestly, to me so far this is one of the driving messages of the novel - everyone is in their own world of issues and pain and none of these characters can truly look through the lens of another person and it would be so much better if they did. To XQC, for so long, He Yu’s strong feelings (and we know so many of these feelings are awful - despair, and self-loathing, and loneliness) never quite felt real and therefore never quite felt fully valid. And by the time it wasn’t the case, it was too late.

But the same is true for He Yu - he is so concentrated on his own grievances and his own pain, he cannot perceive others’ different issues. In He Yu’s mind, he’s the winner and always champion of Misery Olympics and while he’s had a horrible time of it, that doesn’t mean other people didn’t either just in different ways. Whether because of his condition, his issues or just his age, HY is not empathetic in the least.

And think about it - XQC does not have a horrible illness. He does not have unfeeling parents. But he had to watch his beloved parents brutally murdered in front of his eyes at 13 (!!!!) and then had to raise a 5 year old by himself. Is it worse or better than HY’s trauma? That’s a matter of opinion but what there is no question about is that is a different type of trauma and a different type of scar. Or think about the patient in the asylum whose name I am too lazy to look up - her life is such a theater of horrors that to me, it makes the combined issues of HY and XQC seem small, though once again that’s subjective. Nobody wins when people start this sort of competition.

My heart breaks for XQC but also - I am sorry - if/when HY x XQC hook up again (how? I have no idea! But that is one of the joys of Meatbun - I both have no idea how/where it’s going and utterly trust her), please have He Yu read up and learn things because Good God. You should not be in major pain the morning after unless you are into pain and XQC clearly is not!

The other thing is the bit about XQC forcing himself to walk in his usual ramrod-straight manner is the moment I went utterly gone for him. I mean, I liked him and found him interesting before. But this is the thing that flipped that invisible switch for me and I went rabid and irrational and now I am Team XQC and I don’t care what he wants and does from now on, he should have it. It’s so small but so real. My mother and her mother were both big on straight posture. And one of the reasons they gave was when you walk with good posture - you look confident but also it makes you feel confident and stronger. And I’ve actually found it to be true - when you throw your shoulders back and straighten your neck and hold your head up, it does not just give others a signal, it gives a signal to your own brain. So to see XQC insist on doing it, despite being emotionally and physically shattered - because of his pride refusing to give up, because he’s so unbending, but also this being some sort of instinctive armor, just hits straight through the heart.

OK, I laughed at HY as a fucking machine. But also, this is another point in the whole “everyone has issues” narrative and HY’s life could be worse. HY, with all his other issues, can pay an insane amount, an amount that XQC could not pay in a million years, so easily. It’s not even a blip to him. Hell, the fact that he forgot to pay speaks to that - I can see forgetting to pay a friend a couple of bucks back right away because it’s not much money. HY forgets because it does not loom in his mind. And this rich lifestyle is instinctive, is ingrained in him. I think he’d find it hard to be poor.

THAT is what he’s thinking about? Priorities are...

The sole good thing that came out of this insanity is that XQC is getting in touch with his emotions, even if those emotions are (rightly) rage. He’s too closed off from them normally.

The fact that you slept with a man should be secondary to the fact that you drugged and raped him, but here we are...

To me, this sums up He Yu as a moral wasteland. To still, when sober and past his fit and not under influence of wine, to still feel excitement over his revenge and to somehow twist it that it’s XQC’s fault for being raped by He Yu is !!!!!!!!!

(I suppose if I were charitable, I’d assume that the disquiet is small stirrings of almost dead conscience and his “he deserved it” is an attempt to justify the unjustifiable to himself, but I honestly don’t want to think so because I am so angry at him. Not until I see some more evidence. I don’t feel like being indulgent with He Yu since he’s indulgent with himself enough for two.)

1. The fact that you can tell from the picture XQC got taken by a man (I am gonna defer to Meatbun’s expertise here) definitely points to the fact that the pictures are going to be used for something bad later - because if it’s just oh XQC had sex, so what, he’s single what’s the big deal. But like this it becomes a different matter. No idea if it will be used for HY or XQC or both, and by whom (money is on Duan and co, but after the way HY went off, I would never say HY himself won’t use it badly somehow) but knowing Meatbun, it will go for maximum damage.

2. Ruthless? Perhaps. Unfeeling? Hmmmm. I am not He Yu’s biggest fan atm but that’s a wonderfully misleading adjective here. He does still seem to be in shock. And fixating.

3. The whole “hahahaha XQC is a hypocrite when he was all ‘I am not interested in sex’“ is - I am not sure if HY is just short-circuiting (fine) or using a rapist justification/rolling in a sea of toxic toxicity (not fine) because I am sorry, that’s totally like “he/she had a reaction, can’t be rape” writ large. Yeah, sure he had a reaction - you poured drugs down his throat. That has nothing to do with his default preferences or his actual state. THE FUCK?!

Anyway, we end on the whole “u mad bro?” bit and you know what strikes me? HY was all “I am done, we are done, my revenge is complete I don’t care” but here he is, still desperately seeking and craving reaction and interaction from XQC.

I remain utterly puzzled as to how these two will ever be a couple except for a couple being defined as “two mutually homicidal people.” Leaving aside everything else, I am willing to accept HY is in the closet - clearly whatever his orientation is, it includes men. But I do not get that sense from XQC at all. When he’s not drugged, he’s barely interested in sex with anyone and I do not get the sense he’s in the closet either. Chances of anyone, let alone He Yu, who is both a man and someone who raped him to humiliate him, being able to entice him into sexual encounters voluntarily is about the chance of me going to visit Mars. Meatbun loves doing insane things so I can’t wait.

PS I know people use the term psychopath all the time casually but ummm, I think He Yu may actually be one? When he has his father (!!!) on speakerphone, calmly carrying a conversation with the man as he’s raping his father’s friend in the club as he talks (!!!!!) that is...in RL I’d be “team lock him up for life, there is something so basic broken in him that it can’t be fixed.” Like - the hell? The ability to put things on different shelves so much is not in the same country as sane (it makes me think of 2ha and TXJ banging CWN being the curtain while performing court business but TXJ was bona fide clinically insane and also this is worse because this is his actual freaking father omg.) Of course, only time will tell whether it’s evidence of him being irreparably incapable of normalcy in terms of living in the world/interacting with others or it was an extreme psychotic (in casual parlance not medical one) break because most people are capable of truly horrific stuff if certain levers are pushed and his default is saner. It’s the question, isn’t it? Whether He Yu’s factory default setting is the monster of the previous chapters or the kid who’d cut his wrists so as not to hurt others.

Anyway, this novel is a terrifying roller coaster ride and I love having strong emotions.

[nordleuchten]

so, I was reading some letters between Lafayette and Washington in the founders archive, and when I came to tumblr, I saw one or two posts of yours and now I'm curious, what are your favorite quotes from letter between the two of them??

Ty for answearing and gm/gn wherever u are!! <3

Hello there :-)

I have actually answered two similar questions but I never did that explicitly for the letters between George Washington and La Fayette. I find these questions always quite hard because there are just so many interesting letters that we know of - and even more letters that we may never knew about. In general, I like those letters the best, that show historical figures as persons, a real living breathing human beings with all their interests and feelings and flaws.

February 23, 1778: La Fayette commented on the failed invasion of Canada - he makes it sounds like he just discovered a great secret, but the suspicions expressed in the letter were more or less common knowledge.

“I fancy (betwen us) that the actual scheme is to have me out of this part of the continent, and general connway in chief under the immediate direction of general gates (…)”

January 11, 1779: La Fayette wrote Washington a last farewell before returning to France for the first time during the War.

“Farewell, my dear General, I hope your french friend will ever be dear to you, I hope I Schall Soon See you again, And tell you myself with what emotion I now leave the Coast you inhabit, and with what affection, and Respect I’ll for ever be, my dear General Your Respectfull and Sincere friend”

September 30, 1779: Washington being very playful with La Fayette and Adrienne.

“But at present must pray your patience a while longer, till I can make a tender of my most respectful compliments to the Marchioness. Tell her (if you have not made a mistake, & offered your own love instead of hers to me) that I have a heart susceptable of the tenderest passion, & that it is already so strongly impressed with the most favourable ideas of her, that she must be cautious of putting loves torch to it; as you must be in fanning the flame. But here again methinks I hear you say, I am not apprehensive of danger—My wife is young—you are growing old & the atlantic is between you—All this is true, but know my good friend that no distance can keep anxious lovers long asunder, and that the Wonders of former ages may be revived in this—But alas! will you not remark that amidst all the wonders recorded in holy writ no instance can be produced where a young Woman from real inclination has prefered an old Man—This is so much against me that I shall not be able I fear to contest the prize with you—yet, under the encouragement you have given me I shall enter the list for so inestimable a jewell.”

December 8, 1784: Washington wrote this letter just after he parted ways with La Fayette who was visiting the United States right after the conclusion of the war.

“In the moment of our separation upon the road as I travelled, & every hour since—I felt all that love, respect & attachment for you, with which length of years, close connexion & your merits, have inspired me. I often asked myself, as our Carriages distended, whether that was the last sight, I ever should have of you? And tho’ I wished to say no—my fears answered yes. I called to mind the days of my youth, & found they had long since fled to return no more; that I was now descending the hill, I had been 52 years climbing—& that tho’ I was blessed with a good constitution, I was of a short lived family—and might soon expect to be entombed in the dreary mansions of my father’s—These things darkened the shades & gave a gloom to the picture, consequently to my prospects of seeing you again: but I will not repine—I have had my day.”

December 21, 1784: La Fayette’s reply to Washington’s letter from December 8, 1784.

I Have Received Your Affectionate letter Of the 8th inst., and from the known Sentiments of My Heart to You, You will Easely guess what My feelings Have Been in perusing the tender Expressions of Your friendship—No, my Beloved General, our late parting was Not By Any Means a last interview—My whole Soul Revolts at the idea—and Could I Harbour it an instant, indeed, my dear General, it would make me Miserable—I well see You Never will go to franee—the Unexpressible pleasure of Embracing You in My own House, of wellcoming You in a family where Your name is adored, I do not much Expect to Experience—But to You, I shall Return, and within the walls of Mount vernon we shall Yet often Speack of old times—my firm plan is to visit now and then My friends on this Side of the Atlantick, and the Most Beloved of all friends I Ever Had, or ever will Have Any where, is too Strong an inducement for me to Return to Him, nor to think that, when Ever it is possible, I will Renew my So pleasing visits to Mount vernon.

March 17, 1790: The letter that accompanied the Key of the Bastille that La Fayette send Washington as a gift and that is still displayed in the front pallor of Mount Vernon.

“Give me leave, My dear General, to present you With a picture of the Bastille just as it looked a few days after I Had ordered its demolition, with the Main Kea of that fortress of despotism—it is a tribute Which I owe as A Son to My Adoptive father, as an aid de Camp to My General, as a Missionary of liberty to its patriarch.”

August 23, 1790: La Fayette had received news that Washington had just recovered from a very serious illness.

“What Would Have Been My feelings, Had the News of Your illness Reached me Before I knew My Beloved General, My Adoptive father was out of danger! I was Struck with Horror at the idea of the Situation You Have Been in, while I, Uninformed, and to distant from You, Was Anticipating the long waited for pleasure to Hear from You, and the Still More Endearing prospect to Visit You, and present You with the tribute of a Revolution one of Your fine Offsprings—for God’s Sake, my dear General, take Care of Your Health, don’t devote Yourself So much to the Cabinet, while Your Habit of life Has from Your Young Years, Accostumed You to a constant Exercise. (…)You may Easily Guess what I am Exposed to Suffer, what would Have Been my Situation Had I known Your illness Before the News of Your Recovery Had Conforted a Heart So Affectionately devoted to You.”

October 6, 1797: La Fayette’s first letter to Washington after the long years of his imprisonment.

“(…) in Vain Would I Attempt, My Beloved General, to Express to You the feelings of My filial Heart, when, at the Moment of this Unexpected Restoration to Liberty and Life, I find Myself Blessed With the opportunity to let you Hear from me. This Heart Has for twenty Years Been known to you—Words, that, Whatever they be, fall So Short of My Sentiments Would Not do justice to What I feel—But You Will Be Sensible of the Affectionate and delightful Emotions With Which I am Now Writing—to You, and I know also it is Not Without Some Emotion that after five Years of a death like Silence from me, You Will Read the first Lines I am at Last Enabled to write —With What Eagerness and pleasure I Would Hasten to fly to Mount Vernon, there to pour out all the Sentiments of Affection, Respect, and Gratitude Which Ever Bound me, and More than ever Bind me to You (…)”

December 25, 1799: The last letter Washington wrote to La Fayette

May 9, 1799: The last letter Washington received from La Fayette

… and I can guarantee you, as soon as I hit “post” I will realize that I have forgotten at least one other quote. Anyway - what are you favourites, if I may ask?

I hope you have/had a beautiful day!

[vee-is-a-writter-now]

Fools

[[zuko x reader]]

->next

Summary: Zuko and Y/N had liked eachother for a while even though neither of them knew it. Y/N tries to get over her crush for him, failing miserably. So just when she decides to let go and embrace her feelings, the new Fire lord finds himself feeling jealous and decides to take matters into his own hands

A/N: this is the first Zuko/ATLA fic i’ve ever written, so go easy on me plssss, i just finishes the show a couple days ago (a little late ik) and ever since then i’ve been OBSESSED with this man (if he’s too ooc pls let me know) . This is set a while after the coronation and it’s an AU where zuko and mai were never a thing. Hope y’all like this <3

ps: this may get a little long, i’m writting this before i finish it but i get a feeling it’s gonna be a long one so be prepared lol also it will most definitely have a pt.2 if y’all like it.

Warnings: Angst but it’ll end well i promise, swearing

-IF YOU HAVE ANY REQUESTS DONT HESITATE TO ASK-

Things after the war ended had been chaotically peaceful. Turns out that leading an entire nation, specially when it was the one that caused the war, and reuniting the lands that had for so long been against eachother was harder than all of you thought. The fact that a group of teenagers were the head of the operation wasn’t a big advantage either.

Sure, Aang and Zuko, who were the ones who had the most important positions when it came to politics and diplomacy, had advisors and people around to help guide them, but it was still a hard job. Nevertheless, without a war or fighting, you were sure it was good for the entire group to keep busy. They’d kept a lifestyle of always moving around and being on guard for so long it would’ve been a big shock to be forced to stay still after that.

Katara and Sokka travelled back and forth from the Southern Water Tribe to the Fire nation a few times, not too often though because of how far apart the two were. That was a shame because of how close you’d grown to Katara and her motherly self, her advice and her unconditional friendship, and even to Sokka and his bad jokes, his way of teasing everyone and how he could make you smile even when you weren’t in the mood, you even missed how mad he made you sometimes. Suki went with them to spend some time away from everything, she loved her life as a Kioshi warrior but she decided she needed a break after everything she had gone through.

Aang, on the other hand, was traveling all over but mostly between the Earth kingdom, were he would very often meet with Katara, and the Fire nation. You got to see him way more often than you got to see Katara, Suki and Sokka, although he tended to be busy with avatar business. He was doing a great job, you had to admit. The people loved him, he found a way to spread his teachings and the teachings of the Air nomads to the world and uniting others helping them put aside their differences seemed to be his thing now more than ever. But most importantly he seemed truly happy, one time he even told you he finally felt like he was making all the air nomads proud, wherever they were.

Toph still wanted to be away from her parents, so she refused to go back to the Earth Kingdom. She hated the cold, not being able to use her seismic senses in the snow and being bossed around by katara, so she refused to go with them too. So when you offered her to stay with you, she accepted. She made it seem as though it was her last choice because she had to keep her tough girl reputation, but actually she liked you a lot, she saw you kind of as a big sister. You took care of her in a way no one had before, not seeing her as helpless and weak but still being there for her when she needed you. Though she’d never tell this to anyone aloud.

And Zuko was still Zuko, just that now he was a Firelord. He took his job very seriously, determined to prove wrong everyone who had said he was too young or too weak for it. He knew the big responsibility he had in his hands and he seemed to be doing really well. He had his moments, of course, where he would have outbursts of emotion and anger, but he always found his way back to being who he needed to be for his Nation, and you always helped with that. He was the one who suggested you stayed in the Fire nation as a representative of the Northern Water tribe. You were hesitant at first, but after thinking the idea over you realized you had no business up in the tribe, you’d been away for a long time and you weren’t ready to go back just yet.

The two of you had never been incredibly close in the time since he joined the gaang, but you couldn’t denied there was a connection between the two. You got his humor and he got yours, you could tease eachother all day without getting butthurt, you could open up and talk about deep stuff under the stars on a sleepless night, and spending time with him seemed easier to do than with most people. You’d brushed this off as the two of you being good friends for a good while, even after you moved into the palace and started to hang out with him more, but for the past few weeks it’s been getting harder to do.

Every time Toph, him and you ate lunch together and he sat in front of you, you couldn’t help but end up staring at him, not in a weird, creepy way but in a ‘I’m mesmerized by you why am i mesmerized by you and since when are your eyes such a beautiful shade of gold’ way. You were in denial about it but deep down you knew you were starting to have a crush on him, and eventually Toph caught up to it too.

One night after diner she pulled you into her room, closed the door and said “Listen, Snow queen, I’m kinda tired of your heart going crazy every time mister flaming pants is around so you either get over your little crush, tell him how you feel or I will personally snitch on you directly to him, understood?” You didn’t even have the guts to deny it to her, specially since she’d know if you were lying, so you just heavily sighed and looked at the floor. She must’ve felt bad for you cause she took your hand and dragged you to sit on her bed to interrogate you about the situation.

“Out of anyone you could’ve ended up liking I never saw this one coming” she told you taking a seat on the opposite side of the bed

“Don’t get me started” you threw yourself back to the bed and stared at the ceiling for a second before speaking again “Like how dumb do I have to be to crush on someone who isn’t only probably the busiest man on all kingdoms right now, but also royalty and... well Zuko. He would never like a girl like me and even if he did, he probably has to end up with a princess or something.”

“I’m not letting you drown in a pity party here, ok?” Toph pulled your wrist and forced you to sit back up and look at her. “He’s lucky a girl as decent as you is willing to put up with that temper of his and how annoying he can get. Now what are you gonna do about it?”

“Nothing?” You replied in a low voice not taking a second to think about it. Toph punched you in the arm in response “Hey, what was that for?”

“What I said before still stands, I can’t deal with you being all flustered every time he’s around, so get over it or tell him how you feel.” She spat and all you could do was grunt and throw yourself back into the bed

So you were gonna get over it then. Easy task. Never done anything easier before.

It wasn’t.

Turns out that by trying to avoid Zuko at all costs you ended up stumbling into him even more. Around the corners, in the hallways, everywhere. The plan was to just avoid him as much as possible until eventually your feelings faded away, you couldn’t have a crush on someone you didn’t even see right? Wrong. Even when you weren’t around Zuko he was still on your mind. You tried to go to the palace library and distract yourself with literature, but reading romance books only made you feel more miserable and the only other option there was were war strategy books which you weren’t very interested in. The next distraction you chose was gardening, you loved nature and you were a water bender, it was the perfect task you thought, but once again you were wrong. You turned out to be such a bad gardener, Kya who was the one in charge of the royal gardens (and who was the sweetest lady) ended up banning you from messing with her flowers ever again. The last thing you could think of to stay away from Zuko was feeding the turtle ducks. It seemed like a good idea and on the few occasions you’d been in the pond before, the little animals seemed to be very fond of you. You couldn’t mess this one up, anyone could feed the ducks, but there was a little problem as it seemed to be the theme of that day, the Fire lord had forgotten to tell you that the pond was his place of choice when he needed to clear his head.

You didn’t even notice he was there until you heard his voice behind you. “Keep feeding them like this and they’ll get obese”

You jumped a bit out of surprise and turned around to face him with your palm pressed to your chest. “Spirits, Zuko, don’t do that to me, you’re gonna kill me one of these days” It was a bright and sunny day, the heat of the Fire nation weather made his face glimmer a little, his hair was up held by the royal Fire lord hair piece and he was wearing a version of his formal attire made for a hotter weather, leaving his muscly arms on display. As soon as you realized you were staring once again, you turned your attention back to the pond in an attempt to hide the blush that was slowly conquering your cheeks.

He took a sit next to you and waited a couple seconds before breaking the silence. “Hey... um... I don’t know if this is just me but you’ve been acting weird lately, is everything ok?” He asked looking at you.

“Everything is fine, definitely just you.” you replied not taking your eyes away from the shining water of the pond. The ducks had grown tired of waiting for you to keep feeding them and swam away.

“I... don’t think so. You didn’t come to breakfast today, everytime we’re together you seem to wanna leave as soon as possible and right now you can’t even look at me.” He paused before taking in a deep breath. “Did... did I do something to upset you?”

You finally turned around to look at him and the look you saw in his eyes was heartbreaking. Ever since he joined Team Avatar, Zuko had been making a huge effort to be good. You could see how sometimes he struggled to pick being kind and gentle over being erratic and explosive, and you also knew that had a lot to do with his childhood. But he had been doing such a good job at it, specially since he became Fire lord, he was so much more friendly, better at socializing and overall improving. And right now it was clear to you that you had made him feel like he was failing at being a good person and he’d somehow messed up with you.

You turned your body around slightly and put a reassuring hand on his knee before saying “Oh, Zuko, no. You haven’t done anything and I’m not upset at you, I mean that. It’s just...” coming up with lies and excuses had always been your strong point but having Zuko there making you ridiculously nervous wasn’t a factor that helped. “I.. uh...I’m getting a little homesick, you know? With Toph gone most of the day and you busy, I’ve been feeling a little melancholic about my home, but it’s nothing I promise. I’m just trying to find something to do with my time.” You we’re impressed with yourself with this one, it actually sounded pretty convincing.

You thought you had the situation handled until Zuko spoke again a few seconds later. “Y/N, I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized until now with all the chaos of being Fire lord but I asked you to stay here and represent the Northern Water tribe and I haven’t even given you time out of my day. I haven’t been the best host, have I?” Before you could even reply he widened his eyes and said “I have an idea, tomorrow I’ll take the day off and we can go on a small field trip to this cabin my family has on the ourskirts of town, there are some nice fields and it’s very peaceful, we’ll have a picnic lunch there and just relax. You can even ask Toph to come with. How does that sound?”

He looked at you expectantly and you started to look for reasons to turn him down, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. It was true that you hadn’t had much time to spend with him ever since he took his position, and in all honesty, crush or not you really did miss him. Your weakness for him won the battle and you ended up accepting the plan saying it was a great idea. The regent stood up from his place and assuring you he’d have everything ready for the next day he left.

You really had messed up this time.

—————

The next morning you put on a flowy, flower-print dress. It was classy but at the same time comfortable and light enough to handle the summer weather. You had nervously been looking at yourself in the mirror for way too long now. Before dinner the past night you at least had hopes that Toph would come with to the field trip and she would help you contain yourself when it came to Zuko, but of course that wasn’t the case. When he had brought the topic up at the table Toph limited herself to look at you knowingly and say “You know what? I happen to be very busy tomorrow, you know, I’m trying to get a name for myself in the Fire nation’s fighting scene and I have a fight tomorrow, sorry.” You knew she was lying because she had told you about her fight but instead of the next day it was three days from then. All you could do was look at the little devil and make sure you wrote a mental note of getting back at her as soon as you could.

So here you were, minutes ago from embarking in a field trip with the person you were supposed to avoid, and you had no idea how you were gonna get out of this one.

A knock on your door startled you and took you out of your worrying thoughts. A few seconds later a maid’s head popped in as she said “Lady Y/N, Firelord Zuko and the carriage are ready for you.” You took a deep breath and walked towards the door while replying with a soft “Thank you, Yun”

The carriage waited for you in front of the palace and so did Zuko. He was already inside, sheltering himself from the unforgiving sun, so you startled him when you hopped inside. “Y/N, you look...nice” he complimented you, a faint blush running through his cheeks making him gain a more childish and youthful look.

“Thank you, Zuko. Likewise.” You responded attempting to stay as calm as you could. You hated that he had so much power over you.

He ordered for you to be in your way before the carriage started moving swiftly. Your eyes flowed to the window, looking out at the capital city of the Fire nation. “You’ve done a great job leading this people. They look... so happy.” You drew your eyes back at Zuko as he stared at you. It was you who was starting to blush now.

“I hope so. I’ve done everything I’m capable of to change the old ways of this nation. I hope I’m making the right choices.” A worrisome look took over his eyes as he let his own attention drift towards the streets.

“Hey” you called to him as you stretched your hand to cover his. “You’re doing just fine Zuko. You’ve done so much for these people and all the other nations as well, I’m sure you’ll do even more good.”

He faintly smiled at you as a response and you could tell that although he did worry about the future, your reassurance helped.

The rest of the ride was spent pointing out the animals you saw on the road, sharing childhood stories about when Zuko and his mom used to come here when they both needed to get away from everything, and a bit of teasing about how Zuko had no idea what to pack for a picnic and had to ask the head chef of the kitchen for help. Luckily you had become friends with chef Karou in the time you’d been living in the palace and he knew your taste rather well.

When you finally arrived there was no sight of the usual movement and noise proper of a big city, the air was filled with the peculiar scent of flowers you couldn’t recognize just yet and grass. In the distance at your left you could see a small cattle of Hippo cows and Komodo chickens. And at your right a long field of grass and flowers that seemed to go up in a small and almost unnoticeable hill.

You and Zuko stepped down the carriage just as a guard handed him the picnic basket. The tall regent turned to you and ordered “Follow me, I wanna show you something”. You did as you were told, being led by him all the way up the hill until you were at the very top. When the two of you got there your breath was taken away by the beautiful view you had in front of you. A huge field of flowers layed gracefully at the end of the hill and extended far enough that it connected to the horizon.

“This is...” you started but were so taken aback by the view you didn’t finish your sentence.

Zuko seemed to understand regardless and replied “I know.” Behind you he started to set up a cloth for the two of you to sit on. You forced yourself to remove your attention from the field and place it on what was going on behind you. Taking a seat on the opposite end of the cloth you helped him take out all the items chef Karou had packed for you. When you were done you looked at Zuko and said “Thanks for this. It’s really nice.”

“No need to thank me, I’ve been leaving you alone so much time lately. I know aside from Toph I’m pretty much all you have here so take this as a ‘Sorry I’ve been a terrible friend’ offering.” He smiled wide expecting you to do the same but that smile faded away as soon as he saw the expression on your face.

‘Friend’

The word echoed in your head as your eyes dropped to the food you had in front of you. Of course he saw you as a friend. You had almost convinced yourself you should confess your feelings to him and he goes on to call himself your friend. A knot in your throat started to form and you did your best to show it as little as you could. But you obviously failed.

“Everything ok?” Zuko asked tilting his head to catch your eyes.

You looked up and faked a smile. “Yeah... just thinking how far we’ve come.” You lied through your teeth before continuing. “Anyways, enough of all the cheesiness, I’m starving.”

“Agreed” He replies picking up something for himself. You chose a small salty biscuit with a mix of meats on top and decided to distract yourself with it. “Chef Karou said you’d like that one. He also said you hated onions and peas. What type of weirdo hates peas?”

You chuckled a little, the feeling that oppressed your chest fading away quickly. “I do. They’re disgusting and if you like them I don’t trust you.”

Zuko laughed loudly before remarking “Its not like I like them, Y/N. It’s just a weird thing to be picky over. They’re peas, they don’t really taste like anything.”

You widened your eyes and quickly swallowed the bite of biscuit you had taken. “What do you mean they don’t taste like anything? They taste disgusting and they are mushy and just... gross”

Zuko replies with another laugh. His laugh made you feel warm inside, it could make you forget about everything, Toph’s threats, your previous plans and even the now faint voice poking the back of your mind telling you to be careful or you’d get your heart broken.

The two of you kept eating and chattering at the same time. You’d finished the salty food and it came time for the desert. Chef Karou had made a type of cake and stored it inside a small glass jar. You tried opening the lid but it was too hard. You heard Zuko in front of you offering you help but you refused it telling him you could do it on your own. After a couple minutes of struggling , Zuko took your deep sigh as a sign of defeat and scooted closer to you. “Here, let me.” He took the jar from your hands and quickly opened the lid, handing it back to you. You looked up expecting to find a smug smirk that felt way to familiar to you at this point but instead you found his serious face dangerously close to yours.

You took the jar back and set in down. “Thanks” you muttered softly and quietly. His only response was to slowly but firmly raise a hand up to your face to put away a strand of hair that had fallen. His touch sent shivers down your spine. All thoughts of caution escaped your mind as you felt his face so close you could feel his warm breath mixing with yours. The tension between you seemed to almost be to much to handle when you thought you saw Zuko lean in a little. Before anything else could happen, one of the guards that had come with and stayed back where the carriage was spoke. “Firelord Zuko”

The golden eyed boy dropped his hand from your face and turned around to face the guard. “Have they not taught you to not interrupt people when they’re talking privately?”

“I am very sorry, Firelord.” The guard bowed in sign of respect. “But we have just received a messenger hawk with a letter from the palace. The Avatar and you other friends are here.”

[thenineheadedkitsune]

✨ ask game ✨

Name a movie that makes you feel like a kid again.

The Lion King or the Lego Movie. There's so many parts I used to rewind just so I could stay upstairs away from everone else longer, so I have whole sections of the movie memorized.

Name something that takes you back to your childhood/your idea of childhood.

Swingsssss I love swings so much.

Name a song that you’d sing at the top of your lungs during a night drive.

It changes on how I feel, so right now it would be Sweater Weather, Darkest Desire, and Can't Be Erased.

Name your favourite flower.

Leopard Orchid.

Name something that makes you immediately relax.

Stolas' song You Will Be Ok. Literally I noticed that in the song there's parts where you are forced to steadily breathe if you're singing it. It's super cool.

Name a way you show your love.

Forgetting about what I need and focusing on what my partner needs.

Name a planet you would love to visit.

Saturn, it's fascinated me since my Uncle said it was full of poisonous gas when I was three.

Name a trait your imaginary friend would have.

Caring and understanding. Basically someone I could vent to and they'd listen to me and tell me how to solve the issue in a loving way.

Name a dream that you wish you could experience again.

My first dream that gave me inspiration to write my book series. It was a wonderful dream and I would love to experience it again.

Name your favourite sound.

Don't judge, the sound of a fan.

Name a scent you wish you could smell forever.

Lavender.

Name the most recent time you’ve felt truly happy.

Today when I was sitting in the grass with the person I love, they were so happy and it made me so happy and I wish I could see them like that all the time.

Name a small thing you do to make your day better.

Get lost in my stories.

Name a musician that soothes you.

Nightcove_thefox and Awolnation.

Name something that tastes like freedom.

Music.

Name an emotion that seems unreal.

True love.

Name one of those moments that feel out of this world.

Going to an amusement park its so much fun I wish I could do it more than I already do.

Name a mythical creature you would love to meet.

Either a Griffen or a Kitsune.

Name something that drives you.

My passion to help others believe that there is hope and that there is a way in their dark times.

Name something that you’re both proud and ashamed of.

Writting some stories that I probably shouldn't share with my parents *cough cough* Some of my best stories are the ones that people don't read; let's keep it that way Lol

Name a feature the ideal you would have if there were no such things as society’s expectations: scales, wings, fangs, a flower growing on top of your head - just go for it, love.

Wings. Literally just wings. How amazing and peaceful does it sound to have the skies all to yourself (with the few birds of course lol) and to be able to touch the clouds while blasting your favorite songs in your headphones. Literally no one to watch you lose yourself in the music or anything just absolute freedom.

Name a superpower you used to wish you had as a child.

Invisability. I think it would've helped me escape certain situations.

Name a superpower you wish you had now.

The power to have others feel how I truely feel so they don't think I'm faking my emotions.

Name a way your friends can make you feel better on bad days.

Either being complete goof balls or comforting me with hugs and cuddles and telling me that it will be ok.

Name something you long for.

True love and someone that will accept me for who I am and love me just as much as I love them.

Name the silliest thing that you’re afraid of (fish touching your skin, anything that feels slimy, bees or bugs getting too close…).

Needles. I know, it's stupid, but needles. You bring them near me and I will cry no joke.

Name something that makes you feel like yourself.

Music and art.

@irony-innit @neontrickster

[tanoraqui]

okay I have to do this today because even I wouldn’t do it after the godforsaken finale airs, and it’s basically my specialty and I did spend like an hour thinking about it last night while washing dishes. Definitely partly inspired by @words-writ-in-starlight​‘s insightful post on everything Supernatural did wrong, and apologies in advance to all the characters for dragging them into anything related to Christian mythology:

Wei Wuxian’s parents die in a house fire when he’s 6(? I refuse to look anything up) months old

Jiangs are a hunter family I guess? That whole disaster of a family dynamic, except WWX dips out at some point to be idk an environmental activist bc at the time, that seems like the larger threat to the whole world. “Mom and Dad went on a hunting trip and they haven’t come back”, “bitch” “jerk”, 2 brothers in a beat-up old car, you know the drill

Jins are also an old hunting family, but more Men of Letters energy - they have a fancy bunker and do research and avoid getting their actual hands dirty. Jiang Yanli ducked out of the active hunting life a few years ago to be happily married to her peacock and settled down with a baby and she’s fine. We’re not going to bother Yanli. She’s safe and happy and doesn’t need to involved in any of this

so, WWX is the demon blood child developing exciting new abilities like telekinesis, mind control, exorcising demons by sheer force of will...etc, and Jiang Cheng is the Righteous Man. Lucifer, Michael, etc.

s1-3 probably proceeds more or less as spn canon...which I more or less remember...by the time they find their parents at the end of s1, Jiang Fengmian is...ugh, we probably shouldn’t kill him offscreen, I mean, we should probably meet him before he dies. I guess. Madam Yu lasts longer because I’m way more interested in her. But we do know that both Jiang parents are totally inclined to fling the boys into a metaphorical or literal escape boat and go hold the line for as long as possible, so...that’s spn energy...

Xue Yang is the one who’s like “fuck yeah, demon powers” and opens the gates of Hell, because I want him to have nice* things

*nice for Xue Yang

from characterization rather than memory, I’m 90% sure that Dean tried to hide his crossroads deal from Sam, but Jiang Cheng does it...better. I think it does come out, though. Right before the hellhounds do.

here’s where it starts to go farther off from spn canon. Jiang Cheng crawls his way out of the grave, gets stalked by a menacing presence that explodes windows for an episode, incidentally can’t find WWX...*Lan Wangji voice* “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition” (a baller line then and a baller line now)...and then the next episode starts with them all awkwardly standing around, and JC is like, “ok well let’s go find my brother then”, and you think there’s going to be an mdzs-riffing JC+LWJ Roadtrip To Find WWX...and they’re immediately attacked by like a dozen demons

in fact, the first time we see WWX in s4 is here, wherein he goes toe to toe with an angel and...holds his own. that’s new and terrifying! also is leading a squad of demons??

because here’s the thing: for the last 3(?) months, there’s been war in hell

because unlike Some People Mooses, upon finding out that his brother’s soul was legally nearly-owned by a crossroads demon, heir-apparent-to-Satan!WWX went, “actually fuck that” and kicked open the door of Hell (metaphorically, not loosing any demons this time) and was like, “who do I have to beat the shit out of to get a specific crossroads contract around here”

this did not work, obv. He didn’t know until it was too late, Lilith had already snapped up the contract, etc. etc.

obviously he also tried to offer himself instead, and got rejected for some reason

Since Jiang Cheng died, however, there’s been a war for control of Hell. Leading one side, Lilith, the Original Babe, who wants to break all 666(?) seals keeping Lucifer bound and in the meantime, break the Righteous Man so Heaven won’t even have Michael’s destined host ready for the Final Battle. Leading the other side, Wei Wuxian, infamous upstart, who wants to rescue the Righteous Man and restore him to life, tear Lilith’s guts out through her nose, and also stop her from doing the Lucifer thing because Wen Qing explained that yes, that’s a Thing, and it’s Bad.

Wen Qing! I’ve decided to combine Bela and Ruby’s roles and let WQ be both the cool badass example of how demon deals can go Bad and the demon deliberately leading our heroes astray for most of s3-4. Wen Qing is a very new demon; she used to be some sort of herbalist/witch but then she sold her soul in a crossroads deal to cure her brother of some lingering illness. 10 years of happiness and then boom, hellhounds. WQ is so obviously competent, though, that they (Lilith, I guess?) immediately offers her a job, with the promise threat that gee, that’s a nice brother you’ve got there, even with his Designated Chronic Health Condition getting all relapse-y. It’d be such a shame if something were to...happen to him...

we find this out at some point in last s3 I guess? some Monster of the Week case involves WN as a witness or something, or possible next victim, and WQ shows up to be A Normal Amount Of Invested In This, while desperately trying to avoid actually interacting with her brother (who thinks she’s dead). YES, the truth comes out; YES there’s a tearful reunion

now in s4, Wen Ning is fine actually, health-wise, bc he maybe made a crossroads deal with Wei Wuxian personally, and Wen Qing may or may not have admitted that she’s supposed to be working for Lilith to get WWX ready to host Lucifer? Or potentially that comes out later, idk. Either way, she’s 100% his top lieutenant in this exciting Hell War they’re waging

[insert whatever the hell (ha) happened plot-wise in s4 of supernatural]

we obviously mix up the relationships, too, bc it’s like, *LWJ internal monologue* I’m too young to remember my brother Lucifer as he was before he Fell, but surely Wei Wuxian is his Heir and Destined Vessel in truth, for he is Charismatic and Charming and Makes Me Feel Things, with his Clearly Feigned Righteous Drive and Compassion for All God’s Creatures and - why does heat keep pooling in the lower abdomen of my vessel when I look at his lips, which I am definitely doing a Normal and Not-Weird Amount - I’m just keeping an eye out for the famed Silver Tongue, and not in any way wondering how it would feel in my own mouth -

it’s actually DEFINITELY plausible for Lucifer to still be released even if our designated Heir Apparent is using his demon powers to his full potential and no one’s lying to each other about their motives. You just need to let Lilith be more scary too, and especially bc by “no one” I mostly mean Wen Qing; the angels are still totally hiding the fact that they, too, want to jumpstart the shit out of this apocalypse.  LWJ decides at the last minute that that’s a bad idea actually, gets himself discorporated to send JC to intercept WWX because he accidentally releases Lucifer, etc. etc. Oh yeah, the boys were def fighting before this, bc JC has actually fairly reasonable concerns about the sort of things WWX is getting up to in his quest to become King of Hell...

SO

...I neither know nor care what happens in s5

it does end with both Lucifer and Michael locked in the cage probably, bc I rather liked that solution. Fuck both of ‘em, basically.

I was toying with the idea that WWX also found Madam Yu in whatever hellish torment she was suffering after making a deal so her idiot son(s) would survive, and she was leading forces for him in the war against Lilith as well. If she came back to life somehow, body and all, it’d probably be compelling if she offered her own body to Michael - bc it’s her lineage! - and we’re all led to believe that she’s, uh, being a bitch and actually wants to risk destroying the world in order to destroy all demons...but then she seizes back control and flings herself/Michael and Lucifer into the Pit, because she’s just That Hardcore?

which means we’d actually have had her around and having characterization for most of s4-5, too, which would be fun

More importantly, it ends with newly crowned King of Hell Wei Wuxian appointing Wen Qing as Queen-Regent and ditching to go on an indefinite honeymoon with his new angel boyfriend (they’re going to fuck for like three weeks straight, then roll up their sleeves and go conquer Heaven in the name of free will), and Jiang Cheng gets to live out his hitherto-unknown-to-himself life’s ambition to be the sugar baby of the Queen of Hell. It’s very Hades/Persephone, except he goes back down to the underworld at least once a month. He gets his own demon squad whom he trains up in all the hunting techniques and it’s gr9. Wen Qing is reforming the crossroads deal process to make it more fair to the humans.

the end

Addenda:

it should go without saying but Jiang Yanli is definitely a recurring character, like, at least once a season there’s a filler episode where they go to Jiang Yanli’s for dinner and have to get along as a family, and also do the much easier job of defeating some sort of terrible demon that gets loose in the bunker and turns the evening into a horror movie. She’s their main research/emotional check-in person, a la Bobby, more often appearing in later seasons when there’s, uhhh, more to emotionally check in about.

Jin Zixuan is actually a perfectly competent hunter; he’s just a priss and we don’t Like him

we like Mianmian, though. Oh, I guess the official Hunter’s Guild or w/e tries to declare WWX a public enemy on account of the whole “King of Hell” thing and she’s like “actually what if you’re morons and assholes?” and joins hte team in s4 or 5? Yeah.

idk how the 3zun disaster happens in this ‘verse but I do encourage it to be happening in slow motion as a recurring subplot for several seasons. NMJ is a hunter, LXC is obv an angel, and JGY is...I wanna say one of the more human monsters, like a vampire? Or, you know, something that could be born from JGS sleeping with someone/something he shouldn’t have

[msgrumpygills]

Honestly, I don't know how Jared's stans can "support" him or don't analyze his actions critically after that interview. I never understood weird emotional attachments to SPN cast where people acted as if those men are their actual family. I liked them, sure, but after r*pe jokes and the way they spoke about their children (for some that would be ok, for me it was icky) I distanced myself from SPN and generally lost my interest watching series. I came back, of course, right before the final, stayed after Hell that was Dean's ending (still don't know how Jensen agreed, probably couldn't breach the contract) and rediscovered the beautiful world of SPN stans. Back in the days it was Misha's stans with 'Misha has been bullied by j2' narrative but this whole "great betrayal" mess is outstanding.

But what is more outstanding is arguments that have been made after the interview. Jared shifted blame on fans. Like they created the "back stabbing" thing. He throwed the usual 'I love you brother' speach to wet someone's panties. It's an obvious damage control for his awful image. He wants people to believe it was funny misunderstanding, not misunderstanding with tantrum of a teenager.

But even if it is a cover up for Jensen, let's pretend. How does Jared benefit from this? Because this scenario insinuate that Jared's feelings were rightfully hurt (read those tweets again 😂), he forgave Jensen, but now suddenly nobody is to blame. It doesn't make any sense. Why would Jared defend Jensen if he truly messed up? And by defending him he put all blame on fans. It is a strange decision in that scenario.

I guess my opinion of Jared is bias and I generally don't understand why people are spending their time to defend that man. And by writting this I am not better than they are. But this situation is so much fun and I just couldn't pass by.

Thank you for creating this blog! ❤️

I definitely had my times of defending the guys like they knew who I was and cared about my defense of them, and when you're that deep into a fandom, it's hard to see the flaws. I remember Jared's PSH comments coming out and I defended that. Him constantly bullying Justin Bieber? Defended it completely. Looking back at that now, I am embarrassed that I did that. I understand that I was younger then and I was a total fangirl so I try to go easy on myself while recognizing that defending those actions weren't something I would do again. I'm a fan of things and geek out over people and things now, but I'm not nearly as bad as I was back then. I am able to see mistakes and flaws and while it sucks to say "Yeah, my fave messed up." it's part of human nature. I'm not saying that you can't be a fan of something or go hard for someone or something, but just be aware that no one is perfect and don't let your love of these things cloud your judgement.

I hate to say it, but a big part of why I stopped watching the show or fell out of love with it was the fans. I didn't agree with some of the writing choices and things on the show, but the fans and the whackjobs within the fandom just made me want to get away from all of it. Then I found the anti blogs and realized that there was a lot more that I had missed or ignored because I was so deep in the fandom.

Jared is incapable of taking responsibility for anything. I'm no psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure he ticks a few boxes for a narcissist, no? At the very least, he's toxic which I know gets thrown around a lot, but if anyone, stans included, had a friend who acted the same way Jared acted, they'd cut them out of their life. But since it's Jared, it's fine. I think the reason Jared's behavior struck such a big cord with me is because I've seen the same behavior in people in my life. At the beginning of the year, I ended a 20+ year friendship because of toxic behaviors and some of the things I criticize Jared for, were things that my friend did. Maybe it's extreme, but if I knew Jared personally, I would try and limit my time around him as much as possible.

Back to my original point though, he can't accept blame and say "I messed up" and learn from things. Him doxxing customer service workers? Not his fault, he wasn't getting treated right! Him assaulting his employees and friend while drunk off of his ass? Not his fault! He must have been drugged! (Don't get me started on his mugshot shirt and him making it all a big joke). Him having a tantrum on Twitter of the prequel? That's Jensen's fault for "gutting" him. Wait, no! It's the fans' fault for reading it wrong! Yeah, that's the new story.

Common thread? Jared not taking blame. He also has a habit of making things out to be silly or a joke when they shouldn't be at all. The assault, prequelgate, he just brushes them off like they were tiny mistakes, not big things that caused a lot of harm. He's a prick and I am comfortable saying that until he proves otherwise.

This got long and I apologize, but thank you for coming to the blog!

[gisellelx]

thank you for that post, it was sweet, but you want to know what the biggest struggle imo is?

It gets so damn tiring. exhausting and pointless really. having to introduce yourself as This™ or That™ gets really tiring really quickly. knowing that there will always be people that wont ever accept it, that will harass you on the streets that will argue with you on whether or not you even "exist". yea, even the feistiest of us get tired.

dont take it personally, sh-ing has little to do with an outsider and all to do with ourselves

Hugs anon.

It is hard, almost impossible, to walk around being a marginalized person in this world. It is absolutely exhausting and there is nothing wrong with feeling exhausted by it. I have lots of privilege in lots of ways, but one where I don't is race. I don't talk about that in fandom space often because analyzing racism is my work, and I don't like to feel like fandom is also my work, but I'm a mixed person who is read as Black, and I live in the south, and darn it, there are still plenty of people here who would rather I didn't exist and might be willing to act on that; implicitly or explicitly. And I am grown as all get out and this ish still makes me scared and exhausted. And that's even in spite of the fact that society writ large has more or less decided that not accepting people based on race is a problem, which is not the case for Kid. Or for you. So yeah. There are people who think you shouldn't exist and don't exist. That's real and I'm not here to say it's not. And I'm not so conceited as to think I can singlehandedly stop a person's internal struggle. Especially not with one tumblr post. But what I can do is to relentlessly do what I can to make the meatspace look more like this space. Just like people put their lives on the line to make space for people who look like me to vote, and get jobs, and hell just not have to drink from a different water fountain, it's now my time to aggressively make space for you. What I'm hoping you and anyone else take away from this answer and my first post, is simply that. Yes, it is utterly, bone tiring to know that there are people who think you don't exist and to have to confront them every day and to have to do educational and emotional labor for them. It's exhausting and while it might feel pointless, it's not because you're not pointless.

You exist. And so do lots of people who care fiercely that you do. We're your mom's best friends, and your aunts, and your professors, and just that one person who saw the clothing you agonized over this morning and the haircut you ran through ten possible scenarios before getting and gave you a big weird smile at the grocery store. We'll try to do a better job of making ourselves visible doing this work and to do more of it so you have to do less of it, because you're right. You shouldn't have to get this tired in order just to be.

[zmayadw]

And the second :)

Wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 12

           I got awakened in the morning by my phone ringing. I sleepily tried to find it with my hand, still covered over the head. Wen i felt it with my fingers, i draged it under the covers to my ear, ansewring with hoarse voice „Hello?“ „Dont tell me you're still sleeping?“ Jessys cheerful voice chimed from the other side. „I was up working till 3am, ofcourse i'm still sleeping.“ I told her, as i slowly started to get out of bed. „What time is it, anyway?“ i asked. „Its 10. I got back to Duskwood a while ago, tought you might like to join me for coffee.“  „Sure, Jessy, if you give me like half hour or so to get ready and meet you in the center.“ „Great!“ she chimed „I'll text you where i'll be. See you soon.“ „Cya, Jessy.“

I got out of bed, and went to bathroom. When finished, i got dressed and took my phone and wallet, got the cary keys and left the motel. As i was driving towards the towns center, i tought i actualy might do some shoping. I didnt really pack much of my fancy stuff, and i cant really show up at the Aurora in jeans all the time. As i parked, Jessy sent a message to meet her at the Rainbow Cafe. It wasnt far from where i parked, so i was there in few minutes. We hugged as i got there, and i ordered a sandwich and coffee. She told me about  her visit to her sister. She was happy to see her, they dont meet as much as Jessy would like because of her work, and i could relate with her. I told her Phil called me for Auroras party. „Ohh, thats tonight, i completly forgot about it!“ Jessy scolded on herself „Good thing you reminded me.“ I smiled at her „I need some shopping to do, i dont have anything to weare tonight!“ i said, and Jessy added teasingly „Well, we better go find you something sexy then, you never know who just might show up at the Aurora tonight.“ I smiled at her, knowing exactly who was she talking about. I hoped Jake might show up, even tho the chances for it wer close to non. Never the less, one can hope, right? „So, i am not wrong when i assume you will join me?“ i asked teasingly. „Ofcourse you're not wrong!“ she said cheerfully „I might get myself a thing or two.“ We laughed, paid for our coffees and went shopping. We found what we wanted quite fast, wich i was glad for. Jessy walked me to my car, and we arranged to meet at the Aurora arround 23. I got back at the motel, grabbing myself a pizza on the way. I decided to take a shower first then eat. After i finished with pizza I still had some time to kill before getting ready, so i just putted some music on and surfed the net a bit. When it got time to get ready, i took out the dress i bought. It was black, up to knee of lenght, tight to follow your body lines. I put it on, and opened the wardrobe, wich had a big mirror on one of the doors inside. Damn, Jessy wasnt lying, i was looking good! I luckily got my black boots with me, wich went great with the dress. I've put on some make up, and my lipgloss, winking and blowing myself a kiss in the mirror as i was done. I was in a good mood, and why wouldnt i be, i was looking smoking hot! I put on some of my favorite parfume, and was ready. But my mood faded a bit when my phone rang, and i saw a hidden number again. This is getting ridicolous, i tought before i answered. „Hello? Who is this?“ But nothing, silence from the other side again. I got a bit frustrated with those calls now, so i hissed in my phone „Look, who ever this is, either say something, or fuck off already!“  There was a moment of silence before the call was ended by a misterious caller. Good riddence, i tought, pouring myself a glass of water. I have to admit, those calls became irritating, and a bit of sinister feeling crawled at me because of them. I drank some water and took a deep breath to calm dawn. Im not gonna let that thing ruin my evening. I checked myself once more in the mirror; all good, ready to go. I decided to take my jacket, the nights wer still pretty chilly.I took my phone and wallet, putted all in my purse, grabbed the car keys and left the motel. I decided to go with my car, and just go easy with drinks tonight.

Phil wasnt lying when he said Aurora would be pretty packed for the night. I got there a bit earlier, little past 22, and already a lot of people showed up. As i was walking towards the bar, someone called my name, and i turned to see Hannah waveing to me from one of the booths. She was there with some friends i didnt know, Thomas ofcourse, and Lily. And to my surprise, Jake was with them, too. I smiled to myself, what was it i tought earlier, one can hope, right?. As i waved her back still walking towards the bar, i could notice Jakes gaze following me. Seeing me dressed like this didnt leave him indiferrently. Good, i tought, and smiled again to myself, this might actualy be a very interesting night. As i got close to the bar, Phil noticed me, and just stoped what he was doing. He checked me from toes to head, his stare intensifing, and i could feel that heat spreading through my body again. I grined at him, saying teasingly as i got to the bar „Want a tissue? You're drooling a bit.“ Phils eyes got that devilish spark in them „Can you blame me? You look amazing, Maya!“ „Aww, thanks, Phil.“ I i said smiling. „And i'm not the only one who noticed it, by the way. There wer quite a few eyes on you just now!“ he said, winking at me. I grinned „Good, so i definatly didnt go wrong with my outfit for tonight.“ „Definatly didnt.“ He grinned back, that devilish spark in his eyes intensifing. „Go sit down, i saved you two seats at the end of the bar.“  He told me „I'll join you in a minute.“ „Thanks, Phil.“ I smiled, and went to the bars end. I laughed out loud when i saw two papers taped on the stools with the writting on them 'Reserved for VIP'. I took the paper down from one and sat. Phil came, sitting on the stool next to me, bringing with him two full shot glasses. „It is a party, afterall, we have to drink to that.“ He told me, grining devilishly. I laughed „Excusses, excusses.“ „Aww, c'mon, but its a good one.“ He said. I looked at him, shaking my head, taking one of the glasses, raising it up to him „ Well, to Aurora then!“ „Indeed!“ he replied, as we knocked our glasses together and drank. „So“ i started „i'm a VIP, huh.“ „Ofcourse you are.“ He said, winking. I shook my head at him, smiling „You really know how to make a girl feel special.“ He grinned, looking intensly at me „You've seen nothing yet.“ My cheeks flushed, and i was relieved when one of the waiters came to our end of the bar, asking if Phil could come for a second, and he excused himself. He got back in less then a minute, coming from the other side of the bar „What can i get you to drink, gorgeous? I have to leave you for a while to take care of something, dont want you to get thursty on me.“ He said smiling. „Hmm, i'll have a glass of white whine, thank you.“ „Something sweeter is your thing, right?“ he said, winking at me. „Well, mister barkeep, you read my mind.“ I repleid grinning at him. He took a wine glass filling it „Here you go, gorgeous, hope you like it. Now, excuse me for a moment.“ He winked before leaving.

As Phil left, i took my phone out, checking the time, seeing Jessy sent me a message she and Dan will be here soon. I took a sip of my wine, and it was really good, Phil did guess my taste for sure. All of a sudden, someone sat next to me, and i turned, getting a bit surprised at seeing who it was. „Lily?“ i looked at her a bit bewildered. „Am i interupting you?“ she asked. „Uhm, no, is everthing ok?“ i aked, wondering why she might possibly be here. „Yes, everything is fine“ she started „Amm, can we talk for a minute?“ she said, and i could notice she was a bit fidgety. „I guess so.“ I said, still pretty puzzled by it. A moment of silence passed, before she started. „Well, i actualy want to appologize to you, for my behavour last time.“ I almost choked with my drink, looking at her, eyes wide in bewilderment „You do?“ „Yes, well..“ she started „I overreacted. I mean, everything was still fresh, and i'v let emotions take over me a bit too much.“ She looked at me now, and i could see she was being sencere. I was still shocked with what was going on, so i just managed to say „Ok.“ „I shouldnt have lash out at you like i did, and im sorry about it.“ She paused before continuing „And i had a long talk with few people who got me realize that.“ „Let me guess“ i started „Hannah and Thomas?“ „You got Hannah right.“ She told me, and i looked questionable at her. „Well, Jake can get quite insightful.“ I was even more shocked. „Jake?“ i asked „Our Jake? I mean, are we thinking about the same person here?“ i asked, still not sure i heard her correctly. She smiled „Yes, we are. He can be really argumentative and rational. When you get to know him, he is quite a plesant conversator.“ I couldnt belive what she was saying. Is it me thats the problem then, i tought, since it looks like im the only one Jake has problems talking to. I got a bit sadness creeping at me then, and i didnt really wanted to say what i did out loud, but it just sliped out „Guess then i dont know him as much as i tought i did.“ Lily nudged me on my knee, and i looked at her. She smiled gently at me „He likes you.“ „Sorry?“ i said, my mind still trying to process all she told me. „Jake“ she started „He likes you. I know you might not belive it, but its true. When he mentions you, its like his eyes get some special glow in them.“ She saw my disbelief „Look, i know he's not the easiest person to talk to. But give him a chance, and you just might be surprised by him.“ She gave me encouraging smile „And expressing emotions dont come so easy to him, so be patiante. I can see you two care a lot for eachother, and i hope you will be abel to resolve whatever it is that stands in your way.“ She started to get up from the stool, but before she turned to leave i said „Hey, Lily? Thank you for this, i appriciate it.“ She smiled, and i continued „And i hope we can get along from now on, no grudges about anything.“ „I would like that.“ She told me with a smile. „And remember what i told you, just be patiante with him.“ She gave me one more smile, before going back to her booth. I was still pretty shocked with what just happened. Was what she said true? Does Jake really likes me as much as she claims? I was so lost in my toughts,i didnt notice Jessy standing next to me, trying to get my attention. „Earth to Maya.“ She said, when i finaly looked at her, confusion still present all over my face. She looked at me „What was that all about?“ „Huh?“ i managed. „Lily? What did she want?“ I looked at Jessy, still trying to sort everything up in my head „You wouldnt belive me if i told you.“ i said to her, tapping the chair next to me, suggesting for her to sit down. I told Jessy all that happened with Lily, but leaving the Jake part out of it, at least for now. I didnt really want to talk about it at the moment, and i was sure Jessy would have a lot to say. „Well, im glad you two cleared everything up.“ Jessy said „Me too, Jessy. I really had enoughof drama in my life lately, so at least one thing less to worry about.“ „We need a drink to celebrate!“ Jessy chimed cheerfuly, at wich point Phil returned „Did someone say she needs a drink?“ he said at Jessy, grinning. „Ahh, your timing couldnt be more perfect, brother.“ She grined back. Phil took four glasses, filling them with whiskey. Dan joined us then „Oooo, i like where this is going!“ he said cheerfuly, rubbing his hands together, as Phil gave each of us one. „Ohh, no,no“ i started „This one will be it for me, i'v learned my lesson last time.“ „Oh, shush it and just drink.“ It was Jessy saying it, to wich i looked at her astonished, but Dan hugged her „That's my girl!“ She smiled at him and turned to me raising her glass „Bottoms up!“. I laughed, shaking my head before drinking „Ohh, im so not dressed to be walking back to the motel!“

[katsidhe]

15.19 Final Thoughts

I was all set for disappointment after 15.18, but this was… good, actually! Not perfect by any means, but the beats it hit and the points it made were by and large ones I’d been waiting for all season. Where it wasn’t touching (and it was touching!), it was absurd enough for me to enjoy it heartily anyway. I wish that this episode had been split into, like, three, so that it could have spent the time it needed on wallowing.

I love the empty earth. Love it to absolute PIECES. Because it fits so, so well, right? The claustrophobia of the Winchesters’ lives writ grotesquely large. They’re the most important people in the universe, of COURSE they are, because Chuck feels like it, and of course they can’t die, of course they’re doomed to wander eternally—ughh I love it. It’s the natural, absurd, and absurdist conclusion to where this story has always been heading. I am so glad that they went there.

Sam’s heartbreaking guilt—his knowledge that his defiance in 15.17 was what led to this empty universe. Oh, Sam. Again sublimating his loss and his agony into personal responsibility. And the worst part is that he’s right. I love the tragicomedy of Sam and Dean’s offer to play along for Chuck, and that he refuses, preferring to watch them walk the earth alone. Honestly? if it had cut to black right there? I would be mightily pleased.

ok but SAM!!! if there was a winner of 15.19 (and therefore a winner of SPN in general? sure feels that way to me), it’s Sam. Sam defied Death and defied God (and in 15.17 defied Dean). Sam saved Jack, who was the key to everything. Sam got the assist on Lucifer. Sam tricked Michael. Just, GAHH, what a great episode for him.

I about lost my goddamn mind when Lucifer showed up, because I had lost any inkling of hope that he’d turn up again. Kinda figured that plot thread had been irrevocably dropped. I’m sorry for losing my faith, Show! I should have believed that you’d eventually give me a taste of what I wanted!

I predict this opinion is going to be a little unpopular, but I was so happy to see him. I don’t care that he was too quippy, I don’t care that he was gone in like six minutes, I don’t care that his and Michael’s fight was, again, anticlimactic (though at least there weren’t wires, t god). Here’s the thing. I don’t NEED my fictional suffering to be like, artisanal, and thoughtfully designed. I’ll buy that shit at Costco, in ten gallon drums. I’ll chug it straight from the bottle like trauma ketchup. I’ll watch Lucifer resurrected a thousand times, if it means I get to watch Sam’s FACE while they’re in the same room. PRAISE.

The corollary: the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING CONCEPT of the last five people in the entire world being Michael, Lucifer, Sam, Dean, and Jack, all stuck awkwardly in the Bunker. Omfg. This SENT me so hard I had to take a walk, I was laughing too much. What a ripe premise. What an ugly premise. I need fic, immediately, stat, stat means now.

Relatedly, I love the mental image of Sam unobtrusively going offscreen and getting the archangel blade and handing it to Michael and quietly hissing, “uh PLEASE ffs kill your goddamn brother.” Pfffffffffffffffff.

Deeply disappointed that Jack didn’t get a chance to say anything to Lucifer. Yet another thing that needs further treatment.

I’d figured Lucifer was telling the truth when he told them he was joining Team Kill Chuck. However, Lucifer’s willingness to be on board with Chuck’s plan makes, just, a ton of sense. He’s always had less to lose than Michael, when it comes to accepting his father’s olive branch, since he fell so far so long ago, while Michael is still teetering on that precipice. And Chuck’s just extended, basically, a massive apology to him by erasing all the people and places and stories that he favored over his children. Of COURSE Lucifer wants to be alone with his dad, the only chosen one left, in a universe that is finally pristine. Of course he wants to rub his new favor in Michael’s face. I just wish we’d seen and heard more of this. His resurrection wasn’t pointless at all, but it was underdeveloped.

Michael’s inability to separate himself from his father’s will at the bitter end is a tragic and somber end. Jake Abel brought his A-game again. I wish very deeply that we’d been able to see more of him this season: he is one of the few surviving people with genuine investment in Chuck as a person, and he had a deep, deep betrayal to unpack.

Chuck and his enemies: Billie was always too straightforward in her goals and motivations to be truly interesting as an enemy to Chuck; she is less a character, and more an avatar, a force of nature. She opposed him the way a river opposes stone. The Emptity is nearly disinterested in the whole mess—it just wanted to be left alone. The really interesting sources of conflict for Chuck were always going to come from his family: Amara, and the archangels. And I’m glad we got some of that conflict now, even if it was too little too late.

Both of his children were unable to separate themselves from craving his approval. It’s a dire, tragic condemnation of this immortal cosmic family. And it says something about the microcosm of the Winchesters, of them as the model for the stories Chuck enjoys, the stories he inhabits. Supernatural is a story about being trapped. 

Sam somehow tricking both Michael and God? Sam, your BRAIN, it’s simply too big! but real talk how did he manage this? Does he still have the protection from Chuck’s sight via his now-erased God hole? I’m gonna go with yes, and in fact I’m gonna go a step further and pretend he still had that bullet wound this entire season, and that it healed when Jack took Chuck’s power, because now it makes even less sense than ever that the writers chose to erase that tantalizing physical connection. There, in my head, I’ve now fixed it.

Jack. Oh, Jack, what was the show ever going to do with you? The only thing it could, I think. I love that Dean, with absolutely no sense of irony, demanded Jack return with Sam and Dean to where he ~belongs, accusing him tacitly of selfishness, as if not three days ago he’d been egging him on to suicide. For Jack’s own sake, I am glad he is away from the Winchesters, and I hope he spends several decades talking to Amara and like, manifesting as a tree or something, to get some badly needed emotional balance and sense of scale. There is still so much wrong with putting this much power and responsibility in the hands of a browbeaten three-year-old. But, yes, my heart does swell at the thought of Sam’s imperfect love fostering the new God.

The image of Sam and Dean, broken bones, bloodied faces, laughing in the face of God like they’re insane is a pretty damn good one.

Also, Dean denying himself as the “ultimate killer”? Hahahaha so much to unpack there

My least favorite part was, predictably, the saccharine speech about #freewill, complete with the goddamn table carvings. I will certainly cop to really enjoying the montage, tho (but can anyone explain to me why it was like, almost-but-not-quite in chronological order? ).

I’m probably going to have more to say about all of this. Please talk to me about this episode. I’ll forgive 15.18, and hell, I’ll proactively forgive 15.20. Together with 15.17, 15.19 paints a more pleasing, more damning, and more fruitful conclusion for SPN than I ever dreamed I’d get.

[babi-correia]

Officer Down

From Anon #1:

Would you be able to write a really angsty story with adam ruzek x reader and they are both members of intelligence and they have a fight in the locker rooms and it affects their work, and then reader gets injured or something and at med it’s just fluff? thanks, i love your writing!

And Anon #2:

Could you do number 13 and 20 with adam ruzek x reader? preferably reader is the one who gets hurt, i live for angst lol! thank you 13- “Don’t die on me, please.”  20- “You’re the only thing that makes me smile.”

I thought these really fit in together!

Words: 2109 (...ops?) Warnings: Canon-typical violence, gunshots, injured reader, cursing, blood... angst, I guess, be prepared for anything Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Reader A/N: I’m still working on my angst-writting skills, but I hope you guys like it!

“Adam, this is ridiculous.” You snap once you walk into the locker, not caring if someone else hears you. He, on the other hand, quickly shushes you as he scopes the room for prodding ears and closes the door. “See what I mean!”

“You know how Voight is about dating within the unit.” He says, going back to his locker. You throw your hands in the air.

“For God’s sake, Adam!” You can hear the desperation in your tone, and it makes you cringe. “We’ve met each other’s family; everyone knows we’re dating except the unit.”

“And it will stay that way.” He says sternly, making his way out of the locker room and leaving you there alone.

Your blood feels like it’s burning with anger inside your veins and you slam the locker door shut, barely controlling yourself before you step outside and into the bullpen.

The white board stares at you mockingly, the case displayed having been there for over two days. Child abduction, where four kids had gone missing and two had come up dead by the river. The whole police force was on overdrive trying to catch the perpetrator, but no one was making any progress whatsoever.

“Third kid came up by the river.” Voight says curtly, updating the board. “And I don’t see any progress on the case!”

He places a pin on the map, in the place where the kid was found, and you approach it, tapping your finger on it as you recognize the area.

“I have a CI that lives and hangs out in that area.” You mutter. “He’s from my time in Narcotics. I’ll pay him a visit and see if he saw anything.”

“Alone?” Adam asks, prompting a glare from you. Typically, you would take someone with you, but today it would just be adding fuel to the fire.

“Yep.” You say, patting your pocket, checking for your keys before you trot down the stairs and into your car.

You make the drive there while thinking back to your relationship troubles, nearly running a red light shortly before you reach your destination.

You park under a tree, turning off your car and calling your CI. He picks up at the second ring and you instruct him to meet you at your car, which he promptly does. He closes the door after he enters, eyeing you warily.

“It’s been a while.” He remarks, fiddling with his hands.

“This area of town has been quiet. Until that kid came up, that is.” You say calmly before turning to him. “You don’t happen to know anything, do you?”

“I, erm… I heard something about a black car not from around here.”

“What do you mean ‘not from around’?” You ask, picking up your notebook and your pen.

“Out of state. It was orange and black, I think.” He says, scratching his head.

“New York?” You ask, pulling up a picture of a New York plate on your phone and showing him. He nods. “You remember the plate?”

“I think it had a GO something in the letters, and two fives in a row.” He says, tapping his fingers on his legs. “It was a lady driver, I’m sure of that. And I’m almost certain there was a rental sticker on the back window.”

“So, you’re saying that it was a woman, and that she rented a car in New York, and then came all the way to Chicago?” You say, scribbling down on your note pad.

“That’s what I saw.” He says. You nod and slip him a couple of bills, prompting him to leave the car.

You begin to make your way back to the precinct when you notice a shiny black car with a huge container trailer parked on an abandoned lot and slow your car until you stop at the end of the street. You grab the portable radio and hook it up to your jacket, checking your gun and holstering it before you grab the car’s radio.

“Main, this is 50-21 Ocean requesting immediate back-up at the abandoned lot by the river in South Lock Street, sighting of a suspect’s vehicle, a black sedan with New York plates, RTO-9554. Plain-clothed officer on scene making initial approach and assessment of the perimeter.” You say into the radio, unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car.

You turn your radio’s volume to the minimum, but Adam’s voice is still perfectly audible through it.

“(Y/N), what the hell are you doing?! Wait for back-up!” He hisses through the radio, making you roll your eyes.

“Focus on getting here, Ruzek.” You say coldly, your hand resting on your holster as you inch towards the abandoned lot. The area is open, no trees or buildings for you to hide behind, so you just hope for the best as you get closer. You hear the sirens in the distance and curse out before picking your radio up again. “50-21 Ida, George, David, Adam, and all assisting officers, kill the sirens and the lights. The area is exposed and all we have for us is the element of surprise.”

But it’s too late. The cars are already on the side street when they kill the sirens, and it was enough to get the woman’s attention, as she exits the container with something in hand. You quickly draw your gun, but it’s not quick enough. You hear the bang and feel something hitting hard against your chest as you fall backwards.

Everything grows numb for a moment, the sounds drown out and you feel yourself falling to the floor, but can’t really find it in you to care about it. The numbness subsides partially and you regain your hearing, being able to hear a lot of shouting not too far from you. You feel your shirt sticking to your chest and start feeling a white-hot pain that knocks the wind out of you. Next thing you know, you’re struggling to breathe.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N), can you hear me?” You barely hear Adam’s voice over the noise of your own blood rushing through your ears. Adam’s at your side, on his knees and looking at you with a frazzled expression. “Don’t die on me, please!”

You look down at his hands and see that they’re covered in blood; in your blood. Panic sets in and you look at him with wide and scared eyes.

“I don’t want to die.” You rasp out desperately, holding Adam’s forearm as he tries to stop the bleeding. You can see the tears in his eyes and feel your own streaming down your face as you cough. One of his bloody hands shoots to his radio before he speaks.

“Main, this is 50-21 Ida again, officer down! Where’s my fucking ambulance!?” He shouts, his hand trembling when he lets go of the radio. He gets a vague reply from Main and focuses on trying to stop your bleeding as you feel yourself growing colder and weaker.

“Adam…” You say, meekly putting your hand on his arm. He looks at you, fear, sadness and despair evident in his face. “I love you, never forget that.”

He stifles a sob as one of his hands leaves your chest to cup your face, wiping out a tear.

“I love you too, but don’t die on me, c’mon (Y/N). I know you can do this.” He mutters, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he turns his attention back to stopping your bleeding. You hear footsteps rushing towards you and see the rest of the unit looking between you and the three different streets next to where you are.

You can hear the sirens in the distance, but you’re fighting a loosing battle against your eyelids. You rest your hands atop Adam’s, making him look towards you.

“You know… I always wanted to die for something.” You rasp, watching him shake his head and shushing you. “You being here makes it better. I always feared dying alone.”

“(Y/N), you’re not dying.” This time the sob comes out loud and clear, and it breaks your heart. “You’re not, you’re not leaving me, not yet, c’mon.”

“Adam…”

“Don’t you dare. I know you love me, and I love you, but you’re not dying, you’re not leaving me here stranded and alone. You’re going to be fine. We’re going home and watching a crappy movie cramped up in that small couch of yours, but we’re not going to actually watch the movie because you’re going to be making silly remarks and comebacks about the movie, and then you’ll tickle me because the movie is so bad that you can’t even watch it anymore. And then we’ll shut the TV off, and kiss and cuddle in the couch before we venture into the kitchen to cook dinner, and I’ll probably burn something no one thought it was possible to burn, and we’ll have to order something in and we’ll laugh about how much of a disaster I am before we go to bed and cuddle some more.”

Adam’s openly bawling when he finishes speaking, his tears mixing with your blood on top of his hands. You sob slightly before looking around at the members of Intelligence.

“There goes your plan of keeping everything secret.” You whisper, chuckling slightly before groaning in pain.

“That’s not important right now.” He says, his head snapping in the direction of the sirens. “The ambulance is almost here baby, hold on.”

“I love you, Adam.” You whisper, no longer able to keep your eyes open. Darkness consumes you as you vaguely hear Adam calling your name.

-

Adam finds himself in the apartment you’ve shared for the last two months. No one knew about it other than the two of you, and now Intelligence. Jay goes with Adam, urging him to take a shower and change into fresh clothes.

Adam just feels numb. He feels like his heart was ripped out and trampled in that street, left behind along with your blood. His emotions come back and hit him at once, making him collapse in the middle of the living room. His mind keeps taking him back and replaying the scared and sad look on your face as he saw life slowly draining from you. Jay kneels beside Adam and hugs him as Adam sobs.

“I can’t do this without her.” He manages to say, clinging to Jay as is his life depended on it. “I need her here with me.”

-

Adam nearly collapses when he sees you in the hospital room, your skin sickly ashy, more tubes than he wants to count connected to you, your eyes closed and your body unmoving.

What he would give for you to wake up right then and joke with him about how he was forced to out your relationship, or just hug him and say that you’re fine and that the two of you are going to be ok.

He gingerly sits in the chair by your bed, trying to rub away the stinging of his eyes from crying and grabbing your hand, gently tracing patterns.

Over the days, he talks to you a lot and refuses to leave your side. He’s pretty much memorized the timing of the beeping of the machines, so his ears perk up when one of them beeps out of time. He jolts forward and grabs your hand with his two.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, can you hear me?” He asks hopefully, sitting in the edge of his chair. He slumps when he gets no response. “Baby, you have no idea what I’d do just to have you come back to me. You’re my love, you’re my joy, my life, you’re the only thing that makes me smile. Please, please come back to me.”

“A girl has to almost die to get declarations like this?” He shoots up when he hears your voice, his eyes wide as they fixate on you. “You’re a huge teddy bear, you know?”

He launches forward and hugs you gingerly, hiding his face in your neck as he starts to openly cry.

“I love you so much, I’m sorry I’m an ass to you sometimes.” He whispers into your neck, sobbing. “I was so scared.”

You slowly wrap your arms around him and rub his back.

“I’m right here, babe. I’m not leaving you this early.” You say, making him pull away slightly before you speak again. You wipe his tears away with your thumbs, cupping his face. “I’m the only thing that makes you smile, right? So please do.”

He chuckles, tears brimming on his eyes before he brings his lips to yours and kisses you softly.

[crowleyellestair]

Could you write a Geralt x healer!reader where she is tagging along with Geralt & Jaskier. Over the time she has spent tending to his wounds and on occasion, saving him, Geralt begins to develop feelings for her but he doesn’t understand them (obvs) so he pushes it aside. But on one particularly awful part of their trek, she falls through some ice and plot twist! He has to save her now. The terror he feels when seeing her so close to death makes him realise what she means to him🥺

AN// Had fun writing this!! Let me know if you want a part 2!

Masterlist

 Jaskier was the one to convince Geralt that she would be a great asset to their team. The Witcher could hear the bard’s voice ringing in his head as he sat there in silence. His chin was laying on his clasped hands that were propped on his knees. Geralt hadn’t left that spot in roughly a day and he was willing to stay for as long as he needed to. He scolded himself, hating that his mind replayed the bards voice on loop.

“The Dynamic Duo turned Terrific Trio,” was said with as much gusto as Jaskier could muster. Geralt had rolled his eyes at the comment, but didn’t disagree. Jaskier was known to leave him for periods of time to focus on monopolizing the music community in any given area. Geralt had just assumed at the time that the same would be said for Y/n. He knows now that that was a fatal mistake.

He had been convinced she wouldn’t be a burden as their first encounter had involved her saving him. It was a ‘wrong-place-worst-time’ scenario that she had quite literally walked into. Y/n had left the apothecary through the back door and into a skirmish that was forced onto the man. Some radical townsfolk had thought it wise to try and pick a fight with the ‘abomination’ known as Geralt, and normally he would have been fine. But it was seven against one in hand to hand combat. Geralt couldn’t use a weapon to dispatch them, as that would fuel the rest of the town to take arms against him as well. He had taken out five, but the sixth member was really sucking his attention.

The woman had walked into their fight, the ruffian pushing her out of the way and onto the ground. Geralt gave a look, showing that using force against her had pushed a moral line of his. He laid a hit directly on the man’s nose, and he stumbled back far enough for Geralt to turn to finish off the last man. Y/n had regained her bearings, and noticed the sixth wasn’t completely taken care of. He quietly stalked up behind the Witcher, pulling out a small shive. Geralt had taken care of the last man, but she knew he wouldn’t turn fast enough to catch the aggressor. She jutted her leg out in front of the radical, effectively tripping him. He let out a loud gasp and he threw the knife rom his hand to safely catch himself. Geralt had finished him off before giving a silent look towards her.

They had stayed there in silence for a moment, Geralt breathing heavy and looking down at his surprise savior. She rolled her eyes before pushing herself off the ground.

“No, thank you for needing help.” Her hands went down to pat the dust and dirt off her pants. She let out a soft curse as she swung her satchel forward, taking inventory and praying none of the vials had gotten broken. Geralt just watched with a quirked brow before releasing a mechanical and awkward,

“No, thank you?” Her gaze snapped to him, giving a genuine, humor filled smile.

“You’re welcome. Safe travels.” She gave a halfhearted, friendly salute before walking away. Jaskier had pushed himself from his hiding spot, clearly and loudly criticizing the warrior.

“Geralt, that was plain rude. Even a cute girl can’t get you to show gratitude. You truly are lost sometimes.” Geralt had given a displeased, guttural noise in response.

 They had met again when he was given the task to liberate a small camp from a horde of wraiths. It was a few towns over, about a month from when they first met. He had been outnumbered tenfold, and when it seemed that he was exhausted and losing, a loud crash could be heard. His amber gaze raked the floor, finding four broken vials and a material quickly going airborne. He held his breath, but the odd shimmer was all too familiar. At first, he was impressed, thinking it was the bard who had come to aid, but when he turned to find the woman from before, he was taken aback.

His surprised gaze was met with an expecting one, and when he didn’t move, he finally heard the melodic voice that he couldn’t let go since the first encounter.

“Are you going to finish them off, or did I throw those in vain?” He had shifted immediately into action, swinging his sword and delivering fatal blows. He had sheathed his weapon as she approached with two empty vials in hand. She crouched down, gathering wraith dust in them, before straightening and meeting his gaze again.

“Why are you here?” He was confused at her innocent gaze and gesture to the vials. She had shown knowledge of dispersing dark creatures, and yet, she stood before him with purity in her eyes. She shrugged as her nonverbal reply didn’t receive a continuation of conversation.

“I didn’t think there would be twenty, I thought there would be like two. I was planning on using the bombs, pierce them with my sword, then collect the remains. I need it to help relieve a boy who caught yellow fever. I’m a healer, you see.” He gave a hum of acknowledgement and he started to walk back into the direction of town. When she followed, he gave only a questioning side glance. “Well, we both need to get back to town, so why not walk together? I didn’t catch your name before.” It was a fib, as she had heard Jaskier that day, but she wanted to hear him say it.

“That’s because I didn’t give it.” He was being honest, but quickly felt a tinge of guilt, as the phrase is usually used in a dismissive and rude context. She scoffed, and he gave her another side glance.

“Okay, that’s a little much. Heroes shouldn’t be shown such an attitude, but I’ll let it slide, Bartholomew.” Geralt fully looked to her, eyes furrowed. She matched his gaze with a playful smile. “Well, I need to call you something. Especially since it seems like you are my personal ‘damsel in destress’.” He looked forward, but after a moment, a quiet “Geralt,” passed his lips.

Her smile grew and gave a curt nod of content. They walked in a comfortable silence back to town, Jaskier waiting for his friend right outside of the tavern for his friend to return. When his gaze fell on Y/n, he looked to Geralt and smirked.

“Well, if it isn’t the lovely lady you failed to fully thank from before.” He grabbed her hand, bringing it up to place a kiss on her knuckles. “Let me give you thanks for him- tenfold because of the delay.” She laughed, but Geralt was surprised to find the usual blush women had to the bard’s tactics was missing from her cheeks. It seemed to him that she genuinely found Jaskier’s attempts funny. She dropped her hand, and smiled.

“Charming, but I’m going to have to pass.” She gave a polite and small bow to the bard. She turned to bid them a farewell, when Jaskier’s voice shrilled out of worry and surprise.

“Geralt, you’re hurt- how’d you get hurt?” Y/n’s gaze shot up to meet the man’s, before looking him over. Her brows drew in confusion, but she then stalked to the other side of him and lifted his arm. Her brows flew and her hands started pressing and prodding, trying to assess the damage. Gently dropping his arm, she gripped his wrist.

“Follow me back to my tent, I can patch you up.” She looked down; her next expression spoken in a hushed tone. “Why didn’t you tell me after I mentioned I was a healer?” Geralt threw a glare at Jaskier who shrugged, but returned a stern look. When Geralt looked back to the woman, who was solely absorbed in his injury, his gaze slightly softened.

She had never marveled or spat at the fact that he was a Witcher. Anyone who dare call themselves a healer knows about Witchers. They were born of magic, science and pharmaceuticals and revolutionary to the world of alchemy. Nothing she said was ever borne of awe or disgust. The only things to fall out of her mouth were friendly jests and inquiries. Even Jaskier wasn’t passive about Geralt’s true nature.

And since they first met, he hadn’t forgotten those facts.

So, when he caught his gaze softening, he was confused. This was the second time they had met, and the man had already lost self-control over his expressions around her? Geralt thought it uncomfortable, to say the least. His gaze hardened again, explaining,

“I don’t need help. I’m a Witcher.” Her gaze shot back to his again with an unconvinced and uncaring look.

“I can see that. The wound is deep- I won’t make you pay if that’s what you’re worried about.” That too confused him more, making him try to dissociate from the situation.

“I heal faster than humans. I’ll be fine.” He watched as she rolled her eyes and dropped his writ. Y/n planted her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest.

“Fine. I am looking to hire a Witcher to escort me back to my tent. As I am a healer, the only payment I can give is tending to wounds.” He squinted his eyes, the only reaction he could muster from the confusing emotions swirling inside.

“I decline. There is no danger here.” She leaned in, matching his squint with one of her own.

“I heard wraiths were running rampant in these parts.”

“Luckily for you, I just took care of the horde. You should be safe getting to your destination.”

“Unlucky for both of us, you didn’t let me finish. I heard men were also quite despicable here, just like every adjacent town. I heard you had a run in a month ago, so you should understand where a simple woman, like me, is coming from.” Geralt was impressed- and so was Jaskier for that matter. He didn’t know how, but this was definitely worming its way into a song or poem.

 Geralt hadn’t known that, when she successfully convinced him, he would be convinced again and again for the following year. After Jaskier’s suggestion on their third run in, Y/n stayed with the boys to travel. Geralt often gave up his bed roll for her or let her come along to hunts without argument only because he just did. He simply let it happen. He didn’t know why or when it started, but he never thought about doing it when he made these decisions. Geralt seemed to stop thinking when she was around, and all he had left were his instincts. It seemed to him that instincts said to bathe her with temporal affection. He hadn’t tried- no, hadn’t wanted to dwell on the meaning behind the instincts. He had reflected on how it never got to the extreme level it was at, ever with Jaskier. And he was sure Jaskier would be jealous if he really knew how much Geralt spoiled Y/n, in his own way, of course. The only other person to make him have this effect was… Yen. But he constantly thought about his feelings with Yennifer, and how if they did stay together, it would be too toxic. It would implode at any second, and Geralt didn’t have the inner strength to go through that.

Time and time again, Y/n saved Geralt in more ways than one. She would help out when he found himself stuck in battle, she would tend to his every wound, and she would keep him company even if all they did was sit in silence. He had just assumed that this was the making of a true friend, and he never dwelled on it passed that line of logic.

The trio had split up earlier in the week, Jaskier staying in Aar Carraigh. Y/n was planning on travelling to Aedd Gynvael, a fort close to Kaer Morhen, so they could continue traveling once winter had passed. The fort wasn’t too far past Kaer Morhen, so Geralt had offered to escort her there safely, especially since the terrain was treacherous. It was only a week into winter, but since they were so far north, ice and snow covered everything the eye could see. The only way to the fort from Aar Carraigh, where they had dropped the bard off, was to pass over Gwenllech River.

It was complete ice, and the crossing bridge was too far out of the way to get to in a timely manner. The two were doing great until something hit the ice from under them.

“What could have possibly done that?” Y/n’s tone was short and tense. Her arms were held out for balance, and her feet splayed. Her eyes were pinned to Geralt, who was trying to decide what it was. Sadly, he couldn’t come to a conclusion.

“It doesn’t matter. We only have a couple feet left.” She nodded and took a step towards the other side. The ice ratted again, and to keep her balance, she had to slide back, out of Geralt’s reach. From this pressure from under, the ice began to crack. Geralt knew he’d be fine on his own, but Y/n would need to carefully pass over the unsafe terrain. While he was confident in her, he wsn’t confident in the surface. He couldn’t pass to help her as one pass could break the ice, and they wouldn’t be able to get back over. Or, if it was structurally sound then, both of their weight passing over it surely would send them into the water. Gwenllech wasn’t known to be a passive body, and there most likely was a fierce current.

It seemed to the Witcher that Y/ had realized she was on her own by the look of terror on her face. She swallowed hard and looked down to the cracks. Geralt reached an arm out in a comforting way while trying to meet her gaze.

“Look to me, and only me. It will be easier that way.” She nodded with her eyes closed and took a deep breath. Her eyes, which the Witcher had grown quite fond of, instantly found his. She didn’t lift her feet off of the surface, slowly and gently making shuffling movements to close the distance.

Geralt hadn’t blinked- he wouldn’t dream of breaking the eye contact, but in a second she was gone. His gaze dropped just a hair too slow to find her body disappearing under the ice. Luckily, she had known to throw her arms up, instead of trying to catch herself. He was there in an instant, his hand piercing the water’s surface, and grasping her outstretched hand. He pulled her out as fast as she went in, but it was enough to have the ill of winter set in her bones. Being closer to Kaer Morhen, he simply brought her there.

Eskel would pop in every hour to check on Geralt in his quarters, but Geralt refused to leave the room. So, they sat and chatted, the brunette trying to get the significance of the girl out of the ashen haired one. Geralt saw Eskel as a brother, but he had yet to figure it out himself, only telling him it was complicated. Lambert had caught that end, pestering him, trying to understand if it was like the Yennifer situation.

Geralt had felt sour discussing the witch with Y/n in the room. The only emotion he could pin it closest to would be guilt. But why would he feel guilty? It wasn’t lost on him that she went out of her way to tend to Geralt’s every need. He was sure that if he were to receive a paper cut, she would still give him full treatments. Y/n had a pure heart, treating everyone to the best of her abilities, but it had never reached the level it had with anyone else. She would help Jaskier with blisters and callouses from playing his lute for too long, but he knew that if Jaskier would receive a paper cut, she would probably jest, and go they’d all about their day. Jaskier knew this too, constantly giving him nudges and suggestive shoulder or brow raises when Y/n would do something that qualified as ‘cute’. And it wasn’t that she hadn’t done something that qualified as that because she did- every damn day, just by being herself.

Friends could think the other is cute, dote on their every movement, and instinctively give them all the other had to offer, right?

Right?

Fuck.

 When Y/n had woken up, the first thing to catch her eyes were the wall to wall decorations. Different skulls and pelts were found littering every space of them. She would most likely find it off putting if her senses weren’t being berated by her favorite scent: Geralt. It was leather, metal and celandine flowers. Most wouldn’t assume that from a Witcher, but he was constantly around them as they were ingredients for a lot of the potion’s Y/n would make for him. They didn’t have an overbearing or really distinct scent; she was only familiar since she worked so closely with it. Y/n wouldn’t have it any other way, being convinced that no other scent would match him best.

When she shifted to her elbows, her eyes continued to inspect the place. She sort-of jumped in place when she spotted the crown of white hair at the base of the bed. Geralt hadn’t been facing her, and had settled on his knees to meditate. She felt bad, assuming this was his room. The only place he ever really considered a permanent home. And she was taking up his bed. Y/n pushed out to find that she wasn’t wearing her clothes. A Geralt-size shirt hung low enough to cover her small clothes. A blush crept up her neck, and she looked to the bed. The only disturbance was where she left from the middle of the bed. There was a mountain of blankets and a fire raged in the corner of the room in a small hearth. The moments before her passing out rushed to her, and it all fell into place.

Walking in front of Geralt, but a few paces out of reach, she called to him. She had learned that touching him or being too close alarmed him, as all he could process was something disturbing him. And while he didn’t have a ‘swing first, ask questions later’ mentality, it would still be jarring.

His amber eyes opened to her, and it immediately raked up and down her form. She thought she made it up when she heard a faint grunt of approval, but he small smile that graced him when their eyes met, told her otherwise.

Y/n felt her stomach drop when his smile wiped from his face. He felt that twinge of guilt again seeing her tense, but it suddenly came across Geralt that somehow, he would have to tell her his feelings.

Fuck.

 Part 2 is up - Called Geralt's Problem

[everyonewasabird]

Brickclub 5.5.3 ‘Marius a man’

Marius is still barreling full tilt down a life path he really shouldn’t. @fremedon​ has an excellent post on that.

Before we get to Marius, though, Gillenormand begins to learn, somewhere around age 90, that when he beats and berates people constantly they sometimes avoid him.

Am I supposed to regret that for some reason? idk, it’s unclear.

Like, Hugo is aware that Gillenormand brought this on himself and is suffering the obvious consequences of his own actions. Marius is very sensibly doing his own thing among people who don’t hit him and curse him and make him feel guilty for existing. But Hugo seem to think (unless he’s being VERY sly) Gillenormand having love in his heart counterbalances that in some way.

If this is a message of “people are complicated, this is the context for his bad actions, make of that what you will,” I’m totally on board for that. Like: yes. I don’t doubt Gillenormand loves Marius and is suffering. That’s relevant context and character depth for one of this story’s villains.

But it really does feel like it’s telling me I should value Gillenormand’s way of being over his daughter’s way of being and. I don’t?

I don’t know, it’s a strange definition of love Hugo has here. The person who causes constant and visible damage but has love in his heart seems to be worth more than the person whose love is “shallow.” And yet, whatever is or isn’t in Mlle Gillenormand’s heart, we’ve seen track Marius down repeatedly and try to give him the money his grandfather set aside for him, because it’s the decent thing to do.

Like. What is your definition of care?

I feel like we’re getting the dark side of Romanticism in this chapter in some way. In this description of the Gillenormands, we’re prioritizing depth of emotion over the small, unglamorous act of doing good.

Which--and Hugo is either being an absolute genius or completely thickheaded here, and I genuinely don’t know which--is EXACTLY the mistake Marius is making in his life right now.

We cut to Marius, who is now basing his decisions, somehow, badly, on what Combeferre said. Anything that doesn’t feel like “to be free” is something he avoids. This includes being polite to people and accepting a job that would pay his bills reliably.

Hugo gets pretty gross in this chapter about work and virtue. The necessity of work was a leftist cause back then in a way that just doesn’t hold water now. I’m really not a fan of the conversation about the necessity of labor here.

But also, Marius seems to be avoiding work in part because he’s actively fetishizing the suffering of poverty he experienced and the feeling of superior understanding that felt like it conferred. He’s starting to enjoy inflicting privation on himself, and it’s getting really worrisome.

And

He said to himself with a sort of pleasure that—it was the very least; that it was—an expiation; that—save for this, he would have been punished otherwise and later, for his unnatural indifference towards his father, and towards such a father;—that it would not have been just that his father should have had all the suffering, and himself none;—what were his efforts and his privation, moreover, compared with the heroic life of the colonel?

Oh God, Marius, What The Actual Fuck?

Punished HOW? By WHAT? FOR what? It’s not just not how morality works, it’s not how causality works.

This is straight up magical thinking, that the world bends towards punishing bad people, him specifically. Either he really believes that the world is just (which: NO) or--and I think this is maybe more in keeping with what we see of him--we’re seeing that he’s prone to certain kinds of idiosyncratic irrational thought patterns.

Can you imagine saying Cosette deserves to suffer (and will be specifically doomed by the universe to suffer!) because Fantine suffered??

Marius just. Doesn’t understand what parents ARE. He doesn’t understand that there are forms of love that are freely given.

And THAT I’m laying right back at Gillenormand’s door. This is the ingrate thing writ large, but here we see it’s written so large that Marius literally thinks the universe will come and punish him somehow if he’s insufficiently grateful for the fact that his father loved him.

Marius Marius Marius NO.

It’s also clear he thinks suffering in itself has purpose. He’s emulating how his father suffered in a fight against an enemy by.... suffering. NOT by finding another worthy enemy and joining the fight.

Just suffering.

While Courfeyrac and the Amis are RIGHT THERE.

This chapter is about Marius missing every conceivable signpost about an actual worthy cause. We learn he’s turned down membership in the A B C, as well as that stable job offer he got. Either of those would have been a path forward for him. But he’s trying his damnedest to stand still, and suffer, on purpose.

And I think that’s the point of the ending of this chapter, with the way he prefers Mabeuf over Courfeyrac. Mabeuf is a lovely person and I’m glad Marius has him, but he doesn’t challenge Marius. Hugo says the illumination he provided was incidental, that he was a candle a person was carrying, not the person carrying the candle. I think we can say without denigrating Mabeuf that he’s a place of refuge for Marius much more than he’s a place of growth.

And the implication is that Courfeyrac IS the person carrying a candle. And behind Courfeyrac are friends bearing other sources of illumination of greater and lesser terrifyingness.

And Marius is still willfully missing the point.

[longtimeandmomentaryobssessions]

About the Tyzula polemic

I have been silently joinning the fandom for a while now. I watched The legend of Aang last year because my boyfriend insisted, knowing that I would like it and... well, here I am now. I am writting this post because I have mostly seen black or white opinions about the matter and idk, kinda wanted to join in the debate with my... greyish one. This is going to be a long ass post, you have been warned.

I am aware that this ship, despite being quite popular, is also super problematic. Well, actually, anything involving Azula is... complex to say the least and my intention is not to sugar-code the existing toxicity between these two characters just because they are girls. 

Azula is shown to be extremely controlling, manipulating and, in some occasions, straight up cruel. A behavior that also applies with the ones she is allegedly close to. I would argue that, right after Zuko, Ty Lee is the one person she targets most (maybe because she appears to be vulnerable and impressionable, specially compared to Mai). 

As for our lovely pinky girl, it is canon that she is afraid about what Azula is capable of. However, I would argue said feeling only intensifies after being forced to leave the circus. At first, Ty Lee is so happy to see the Fire Princess that she runs to hug her. More importantly, she even has the confidence to say no to her proposal; something she wouldn't dare to do if she had been terrorized from the beginning. Later, Azula not-so-subtly threatens her life and that is when Ty Lee becomes visibly scared, finally joining in for the mission.

By marking “pre dangerous performance” vs. “post dangerous performance”, my aim is to underline the following:

The relationship may have always been coerced and not %100 natural (for starters because Azula is royalty and thus, there is an inherent power difference between Ty Lee and her); but that doesn't necessarily mean fear is the only emotion existing between them.  Their dynamic is not that simple.

I think their bond is genuine and they do care about each other. We could even argue that Azula is hurt about Ty Lee not wanting to follow her. Think about it, of all the people in the world she could choose for the task, she thought about her and now she has to face rejection?!  Azula clearly cannot bare with that (which is heavily tied to “not being unconditionally loved by mon” issues). That inavility to take no as an answer comes from a deep insecurity/lonelyness and results in Azula resorting to violence, as she always does in order to force people to stay by her side. 

Still, on the following episodes, these girls continue to have an undeniable complicity and share some pure/meaningful moments together. I find it extremely hard to believe they are faking all the time. 

In real life we do get attached to things/people that are not completely good for us. Thus, it could be possible that during the years they have known each other, one of them (if not the two) developed feelings.

What I am trying to say is that, as long as the fandom doesn't pretend that there are no abusive components in it, this ship can be a way to explore pretty interesting topics. 

I believe that Azula being a closeted lesbian, obsessed with one of her best friends, could indeed explain certain actions/attitudes she has throughout the show. 

Moreover, Ty Lee and her actually “being a thing” makes the Boiling Rock episode powerful to a whole new level, because it would imply, on the one hand, a bigger breaking point for the princess (a colleague betraying you is already bad enough, imagine if she is your long time crush or secret lover ¿? That must be devastating) and on the other, an eye-opening moment for an infatuated girl who truly admired / wanted to please Azula with every inch of her soul. 

I would say showing that last form of liberation can be a good message for girls in abusive relationships with other women: you can get out, even if she is important to you due to being your first sapphic experience in a non-accepting environment (where the connection you share is stronger and probably more difficult to break).

And idk, maybe this ship is not just pure drama. Perhaps when Azula is able to deal with her issues and Ty Lee is given time for healing and forgiving; they could talk, work things through and have a “happy ending”. 

Obviously, a relationship build on trauma that requires all the aforementioned effort is not precisaly the healthiest type and it shouldn't be portrayed as ideal. Tyzula is definitely not a couple role model. However, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy these dynamics in the source material or create AU-ish stories/fan arts where Ty Lee and Azula are madly in love. 

As a final note, I would add that, it is indeed true that Mailee is a less controversial, easier to digest Fire Nation girls pairing. A quite fitting development for those who give great importance to keeping things as close to canon as possible, would be that Azula doesn't solve her problems and continues to be internalized / Ty Lee isn't able to make peace with her because is too hard and painful or Azula never asks for forgiveness in the first place. Then Zuko and Mai break up too. The girls support each other and start spending a lot of time together, becoming better friends than what they were before. Suddenly, one good day, Ty Lee and Mai realise they have fallen in love. And there you have it: past Tyzula, past Maiko, current and future Mailee. 

Edit: With the paragraph above I am not trying to suggest Mailee is “the superior couple everybody should prefer.” I am a multi-shipper, and on top of everything else, someone not at all interested in starting pointless fandom wars. I am just adding Mai to the mix because she is the alternative most people offer for Ty Lee ships and I wanted to present how all the options could co-exist in the same narrative, although the scenario I have created is not the one I personally like most, specially cause it leaves Azula in such a bad place and I really don 't wish that for her as she is a victim of circumstances herself.

[thestralsofspinnersend]

Hiii i love your work i have got a prompt for a drarry fanfic for you if you want to do it. I loove that idea so much but i am shit at writting. Well so it’s Harry wanting to come out so he dresses the gaysest possible (combat boots/leather jacket with big raindows everywhere,...) and Draco is upset because he will not let Harry be more gay than him :)

Hello! Thank you so much! Sorry, this took me a literal lifetime to get to. I honestly struggled to write this because, while very fun, this prompt isn’t really in my purview of things I usually write, but, I wanted to give it a try. I changed it a bit because I’m terrible at following directions, but, I hope you enjoy it anyways even though it’s not really what you asked for. 

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The thin newsprint blurred before his eyes and Draco felt oddly sweaty, his heart leaping uncomfortably, rattling around, untethered, in the chasm of his chest. The owl who delivered it bounced noisily around his desk, scattering notes and papers, bits of parchment and feathers flying about.

It wasn’t uncommon to see the Golden Boy, dour and grim, glaring back at him through the innocuous black and white pages of The Daily Prophet. It was usually a comfortable, familiar thing, those piercing, glaring eyes looking back at him. It was nice to know that, amidst so much change, so much overwhelming hurtling change in the decade since the war, some things stayed the same.

But this picture was different. This glare wasn’t of an overworked, over glorified, over loved hero of the wizarding world glaring at some poor reporter as he tried to enjoy the open air of Diagon Alley. Or grabbing fish and chips with another of the Golden Trio, as the gossip rags speculated wildly whether or not Granger had left Weasley for him, yet. Or trying to buy himself Boxer, not Briefs! as the Prophet so joyously and invasively reported last fall, Potter standing, rage filled outside of Hommes Avertis Boutiqué. No, this wasn’t a pitiful candid shot, captured around a corner or from behind a carefully placed hedge.

No, this was something much more… interesting.

Draco sat down heavily in his desk chair, suddenly very aware of how numb his legs were as he devoured the words in front of him.

Golden Boy, Gay!

Potter’s glare in the photo was one of defiance and bravery, as he faced the camera, fully. He stood, chin held high and hair wild. His leather jacket sat heavy on his shoulders, obscuring his muggle T-shirt. His jeans were torn and ratty and his boots were nearly worn through the tread, but he looked sure of himself. On the lapel, innocent but indisputable, sat a small rainbow patch.

Reckless was all Draco could think.

He stared and stared and stared and remembered not two weeks ago when he himself had been seen at a ministry function. When he had worn a simple grey suit. When he had tenderly tucked into his breast pocket, innocuous and unobtrusive, a rainbow pocket square.

It had been a gift from Pansy and he had been terrified to wear it. He had come out to his friends years before and had only just begun to quietly, slowly, tentatively unfurl in his identity. He had been so nervous in his faltering and flighty pride. So very afraid of what people would say, how they would treat him. How they could hurt him.

He remembered how The Prophet had eaten him alive for his small act of visibility. That he dare draw attention or be proud of any part of his woeful and shameful self. A death eater was one thing, but a queer death eater? He had been doomed from the moment he had arrived.

Ravenous and thirsty for blood were the reporters as they had reopened his wounds and rubbed salt in them. They asked horrible and invasive questions, leaving him bare and exposed before the masses. He had fled the event after a few comments left him bleeding out onto the marble floor amidst the many guests who stood by with idle and morbid curiosity. Watching him grit out terse responses to questions that stripped him of his humanity, his dignity, his personhood.

When he finally left, shaking with rage and grief, ripping the pocket square from his jacket as he walked swiftly towards the atrium floos, he had bumped into Potter. Potter who was customarily furrow browed and sulking, as he was often want to do at ministry functions.

“You alright?” He had asked, startling them both.

“Yes. Fine, Potter. Absolutely brilliant.” Draco had bit out, wadding up the pocket square and tossing it to the ground, ready to strangle the man, but not having any fight left in him.

If Potter had seen the welling tears in his eyes or felt Draco’s frantic magic swirling around them, he didn’t mention it. He just watched him leave, making the hairs on the back of Draco’s neck prickle as he stepped into leaping green flames of the floo.

Now, at his little desk, in his pants, hiding himself away in his flat like some shameful secret, he choked out a half hysterical laugh. The owl hooted from the window sill and he jumped. He had completely forgetting the interloper, shaken as he was.

He reached for the small envelope tied to its leg, taking a moment to stare at the untidy scrawl on the envelope before he tore it open.

Into his hands, neat and folded fell his discarded pocket square and a simple note.

Malfoy, 
You dropped this. Thought you might want it back.HP

His stomach and heart did all kinds of horrible and uncomfortable things as his hands felt the care and attention placed into the small piece of fabric that Draco had so angrily tossed away, the deliberation and patience. He was pleased and horrified in equal measure that Potter could be so kind. Soft in a way he hadn’t anticipated, never expected.

You’re right, I did.

Was all he could muster to write, so unsure and awkward as he was. And he wondered if Potter would feel his gratitude, his relief and profound appreciation on the page, in his shaky words. If his few letters would convey the depth of eddying emotion he was drowning in from such a simple act. He wondered what new and careful things they could cultivate between them, built on the carefully folded rainbow fabric in Draco’s hands.