#I can just watch through yt videos or ppl here

[devilishdelights]

idk if I’m gonna even play nightbringer anymore the battles are so tedious. like at least in the original it was boring but it was rather quick enough? And I could just let it play in the background lol n tap the hearts when they appeared

These ones take so fucking long just for like five sentences in the next story n my cards are always gonna be shitty (despite having them leveled up and the devils flower unlocked) bc I haven’t drawn the same card… more than once? that’s so ridiculouuuusssssssssss

[blossoms-phan]

going thru my youtube history and it's really funny so here's a rundown from a Certified Youtube Fangirl™ that no one asked for

subscriptions

first was o2l/connor franta/zoella/gmm (god i was so obsessed with o2l so nostalgic i acc cried the day connor left but that shi was probably terrible for his mental health lmao)

subscribed to pj first (what y'all know about being a tiny planet explorer) and then danisnotinteresting a week later (??)

crabsticks->pj the kick-> danisnotonfire (so many ppl dgaf about second channels but i was loyal to them apparently lmao)

danandphilcrafts on april 1st 2015 iktr

lessamazingphil in nov 2015

danandphilgames in oct 2016 (this must be another yt glitch like the fact that it doesn't show my subscription to phil bc i have photo evidence of subscribing to the gaming channel the day it was announced)

that's enough of that lets move on to comments (there are literally thousands omfg this is a real ride including ones from smosh and other people i was obsessed with but but i'll choose what funny dnp ones stick out)

first comment, don't hype him up too much

chill girl omfg as you can see i abused the laughing emoji but dan and louise collabs really are the funniest

so many comments like this on what are presumably phan edits on privated or deleted channels we've really lost the ancient texts + im real for that one still one of my fave videos

boy do i have news for you

jfc they should've been allowed to kill us

first gaming channel vid requests you're welcome everyone

why does this make me so emoo omg there was a time where i actually anticipated this video bc they probably tweeted about it or mentioned it in a liveshow and i watched it right when it was uploaded and have gone back to it ever single year since, over and over again and it's still one of my comfort videos :(( really grown up with them

ok imma stop there that's literally just stuff from 2014 there's SO much more im well aware most people were there and these aren't particularly special or funny and more cringe was just feeling a tb and now im going to fall down a rabbit hole of older edits/videos from this time im seeing now in the history that i haven't thought about in 10 years apparently (so many collabs and vlogs that have escaped my mind god they were soldiers for getting through the youtubers!!1 era it's all very nostalgic but can't imagine how draining it was once again grateful for where we are today)

[everything-is-as-it-was]

Jems found in an old Phil video

So I watched "My mum is a lobster" because I'm going through all of his videos chronologically, right, and I was like- you know what? I'm going to scroll down the comments. There's over 2,000, which isn't as much as others so why the hell not?

And GUYS. The way I could literally see the internet changing from 2024 to 2008 was FASCINATING. Genuinely the coolest thing I've seen all week. The content of the comments was one thing: from people commenting about how young Phil is, how this was just under a year from when he met Dan, to people in 2016 going on about... whatever they were talking about in 2016 yk

But then when you get down to the bottom do you see the real good stuff. There's no replies, since Youtube was structured differently I guess, and a lot of the comments don't make sense I think because they were replying to other comments- but I digress.

The use of :D, lolz, the two carats (^^), the xD, the :S, all relics at this point tbh. Obv some people use them still but see their abundance!

See here again - allll the ellipses, much more than we usually see today, =D, ;[ - man ppl were way more creative back then huh

Just the way people spoke on the internet - obviosuly, again, I'm making generalizations. There are still people who speak like this, of course. But the "random xD" comments really hitting full force

Just laughing here at the last comment concerned about Phil's inbox being bombarded... if only they knew a couple years later lmao

@vampirechibiofreno wanted to be a surgeon mouse for Halloween in '09 I wonder if they ever did

I saw a lot more of people just sharing little inconsequential things about their lives here, too. Seems like in YT comments these days ppl are vying for the funniest comment, whereas people here didn't give af they just wanted Phil to know they had the same shirt

I can just imagine young Phil reading the first post and it motivating him, idk. Just the fact that back then people still said "wow, you're funny, keep it up!" Whereas if someone said that now we'd all be like "uh, we been knew? Where ya been?"

Just some more examples of comments with very '08 energy to them lmao they make me smile

And HERE are some Phil comments!

Again, I'm sure he's responding to people here but since YT has changed so much the original posts were jumbled around. It was so weird to see a comment of his with only one or two likes- felt like I found a rare penny or something lmao

Anywho SORRY for the long post! I just thought this was all absolutely fascinating :)

[le-trash-prince]

I've been in a "watch 500 van conversion tour videos" mood lately so i'm just gonna post some of my thoughts (lots of complaining about YT and lifestyle minimalists here)

as always I hate YT's algorithm and how difficult it is to get past the wall of full-time influencers

Legitimately I hate when youtubers are like "here's an instructional video on how to do [thing i am doing for the first time]." This is something I genuinely think YT has damaged about DIY culture because ppl think that you can learn something just by watching a video. Like yes, you can receive instruction through a video, but you have not actually learned how to do something with your hands until you have learned it with your hands, and even then you shouldn't be giving people instruction on how to do it when you've only done it once??

I think the Malaysian food ep of Dish Granted is a really good example of this, when Steven is like "oh I'll pull chai while spinning in a circle the way the chaiwallahs do" and then realizes the hubris of that statement bc there is a high level of physical skill involved in what they do that simply watching a video simply does not magically gift you. I was really glad when Ronny Chieng basically called him out "sure the meal is good for a first attempt that you threw together but you can't pretend this compares to actual Malaysian street food. Like as street food it's crap lol"

in that vein I hate the videos that are titled "here's the best way to do xyz for your van" and it's like. the person's very first van build and they've never lived in a van before. like how do you know that's the best way? because you read about it on the internet?

anyways love this one tour video where 20 minutes into the tour, the dude goes "and here's my crockpot. because I really love soup." and then their camera guy who has been completely silent just busts out laughing and is crying "I rEaLLy LoVe SoUp."

one van had the BL sheets and I hate that my vision has been cursed this way

love the no-nonsense approach that the channel Cheap RV Living has.

also hate how hard it is to get past the YT algorithm of "wealthy white ppl doing xyz" and talking about the spiritual freedom it grants them to live more sustainably by getting rid of all their things that work perfectly well and then building an apartment's worth of furniture from scratch and cladding an entire van with virgin wood. did no one teach y'all about the thrift store.

every time someone is like "living in a van has enriched my life because it taught me how to be uncomfortable" i'm like "...... wait you guys were comfortable before?"

so many of the designer builds look completely the same but i will admit i do at least enjoy the current trends of interior design (warm whites, earth tones/natural wood stain, gold accents, the color green) as opposed to the whitewashed colorless shiplap trends of the 2010s. like yesss paint those lower cabinets green, go off girl. but also i have to wonder what the point of having something custom made is if it's just going to look like what everyone else has??? (aside from the fact that it garners views sure whatever)

at this point if it's a couple doing a van tour video i automatically skip it because i'm tired of the level of (fake?) cheerfulness it requires for 2 ppl to live in a 60sq ft space and talking about how "it's the best thing ever" in that social media voice. i say this but i haven't had any queer couples come across my feed yet so i could feel differently about that. I'd maybe watch videos from that lesbian couple in How to Build a Sex Room that were totally gunning for a threesome with the old lady designer.

take a shot every time a video is like STEALTH CAMPING and it's literally just someone hanging out in their van in the middle of the day watching TV before they go buy their groceries. i do that all the time, it's called "i don't want to get out of the car."

before someone even says what their previous housing status was, you can tell the diff between the homeless ppl and the rich ppl just based on who actually has stuff and is excited to talk about their stuff vs who is trying to emphasize their lack of material attachment while filming a video about their belongings.

also love the one dude who had a basic bed set-up in an otherwise empty van, went to IKEA and bought a metal folding table and a burner, set it up in the corner and had such genuine enthusiasm for having a kitchen in his car. like legitimately he was so excited and i was excited for him! vs the person looking like they were gonna murder someone bc they mismeasured a wood panel in their ~under $10K~ fully custom build.

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[neonross]

Hello :)

Can you give us a summarized explanation about Welcome home? Beacause ive been seeing fanart of it for a 2 weeks now, I searched it online and it looked totally fine. And why is everybody just getting into it now? Im very confused, I don't know what Welcome Home is and I've never heard of it before

idk if I am the right person to summarize it- I only recently just got into it-

Basically It's an ARG horror game - that's a lost media sort of deal-

basically the concept is that it's a lost children's media from the 70s I think- that's a puppet show- It got cancelled or ended and in the story there's these group of ppl who found like information abt this show and opened a website abt it, detailing their findings- there's an actual website f it and you can explore for yourself and search for hidden stuff- it's rlly fun

I recommend just experiencing it for urself if u like horror or watch a yt video that looks through the hidden secrets of the site-

if ur interested in checking it out- here's the link

I thnk the reason why ppl are just getting into it- is because it only just started? it's in it's prologue stage and as to why there are already fans of it before that is proly cuz they were following its development-

[paris-geller-was-straightwashed]

I've been trying to figure out what I want to say. not that anything I have to say is important; more as a way to think things through.

there's no way to exactly compartmentalize. but if I've realized anything, it's this. in my roughly ten year process of activism and coming to understand social inequity, nothing has radicalized me more then palestine.

nothing has made me more aware of the utter betrayals of our social system. nothing directly at this point, has made me truly see that our political systems can and will turn their backs on human lives when it suits them. it's embarrassing, but it took a scale as big as this to undo 27 years of propaganda that we (as in those in a western capitalist society) have created this system that allows for lives to be wiped out and for others to allow this to happen. how utterly dangerous and cruel. really, you only have to watch so many back to back clips of people being slaughtered right next to clips of rich men in suits chatting casually at the UN like they're not debating over who gets to live or die, to become enraged.

the devastation we were seeing even just a couple days after oct 7th was enough, but when the west did not report or cry over those little lives left all alone to rot in a decomposed hospital like how they wailed over every single israeli hostage - that said everything to me.

I'm sure we're all waiting for the day we can talk about this as a past event and for the palestinians living through it to still be alive to talk about it. for their freedom. but right now, this has changed everything for me. I'm not heavily involved in politics or would pretend like I have a finger on the pulse of anything, but I really do believe, that this has massively shifted things here in north america. note I'm canadian, not american, but regardless, ppl my age and younger have not only never seen such aggressive destruction play out worldwide like this, but more so, been so blatantly lied to and disregarded by their government. their worries quieted, their demands tossed aside; the whole world is calling for a ceasefire, and it's literally like no one in a suit behind a desk can see us. we're screaming and they can't even be asked to look at us. this already fragile line of trust between the public and their politicians, has essentially snapped completely. people like myself, have come into the reality the system & the people in it not only do not care for us, but that they don't need to either. I'm not sure how these politicians in power are going to get people to back them again, when it's becoming very clear to the masses that whatever we have to say doesn't matter to them anyway. it all feels very much like a tipping point, at least to me.

but I'm about to take a hard turn, back to palestine. there was a moment in all this madness that has stuck with me ever since, that I've thought to post about but couldn't verbalize. I think it was AJ who had a clip of it and I've searched their YT pages up and down for the video, but annoyingly cannot find it again - so I apologize that I don't know any names (but if you know what I'm referring to, then PLEASE let me know bc I truly want to know who this happened to). it was early in the war, I believe it was still october.

there was a video from someone who's become one of gaza's media reporters, a man I do not know the name of. from what I understand, he was born and raised there, and did local photography. but like many media personal in gaza, when the war hit, he started to document. he ended up posting a clip that haunts me; he was riding in an ambulance with others that was transporting people to a hospital. while they were riding, people fleeing from what I believe was a bombing stopped the vehicle. they were carrying a baby. the baby was bleeding and bruised and cut, from the recent attack. they pleaded with them, to take the child to the hospital and then placed the baby all alone into this man's arms. imagine that. you're a photographer with no training, caught in the middle of one of the world's bloodiest fights ever witnessed. you're unequipped and frightened. you're just trying to escape with your own life in tact. and then someone hands you a baby. they just place a baby in your arms.

out of nowhere, there's this little life in your hands. blood is cracked over their once soft skin and they're crying, blindly calling out for mom or for dad, who may never come back. their tiny heartbeat hammers under the torn pair of clothes, having narrowly escaped death. but only narrowly. and now, it's yours to bear. a human life, clutching on still, and it's up to you to wrap it in your arms and make sure it lives.

out of everything coming from gaza, I've been unable to shake this image. I just couldn't possibly imagine if that was me. as far as I understand it, this guy wasn't a formal journalist, just a media influencer who photographed and talked about his hometown, no training - and then he's thrown into a warzone. and more, another life is placed onto him.

he handled it, from the clip, very well; kept calm and composed and tried to calm the baby too. I wish I knew, if he was able to help that baby survive. I hope the little life did.

I hope they both did.

[spikeinthepunch]

one thing that consistently bugs me in regards to like.. this area of youtube content creators i watch and the thought of also wanting to make videos or stream is that i have no clue how you get "connected". like sure i can do a lot of solo projects but if i wanna collaborate, i have zero idea on how to like... idk. how do you meet people in what is basically a purely online job. esp when creators who are growing dont interact w fans in the way they interact with actual friends. of course, there is always that chance you connect w someone in a way thats more friend than fan, but i feel like its hard to differentiate that difference sometimes.

especially because i see a lot of how people expect their status as a patreon sub/channel sub/etc as The Way to befriend content creators. i do think that being in those community spaces helps in many ways but the problem is when youre honed in on that being The way. like you cant just have your sights set on using money related tools to get closer to people. even so, a lot of the more direct spaces w creators are behind things like this so... like, its not Wrong to support people and use those spaces. still, i always feel strange about that being the most common methods of potentially connecting w people.

its unsurprising that as a job related to entertainment, that streams/yt content creators feel like they rely so heavily on ~connections~ because 99% of the entertainment industry is just like that. and of course, esp in the case of an internet audience, you can grow in many ways- but i as ive been on the internet longer and longer i feel like i have a tough time making online friends for some reason. i cant really sit here like i expect some kind of instruction manual on how to do so... but is frustrating trying to feel mindful about it and not like im chasing after ppl through other supportive means, and just feel normal about befriending people w hope of getting it connected w my intents to also collaborate for fun.

[baeshijima]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫!𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩��𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫!𝐲/𝐧

MASTERLIST

now, childe as a general streamer,,, he’s a whale in every sense of the word 

…

poggers—

so childe as a streamer in general would be one word ;

✨chaotic✨

he would definitely be a variety streamer, but more so for games !!

especially pvp and/or pve games

competitive meta mf—

probably plays LoL, overwatch, apex legends, valorant and minecraft

don’t question the minecraft 

he likes mining but has a personal vendetta against the creepers bc once they blew up his mansion 

yes, a mansion

ask any of his community and they’ll tell u he spent a full-blown month and a half playing just minecraft to build it, only for it to go down just like that ;-; 

his chat loved it tho <//3

he’s played honkai too !! mainly for the pve and grinding bc he’s a whale but uh,,, shhh

his community,,, his community are just a bunch of trolls at this point i cant even lie

they just KEKW, SADGE & COPIUM spam everything and the newer viewers get intimidated until they realise he deserves them all HJGKJHF

especially when he starts getting annoyed by the game,,, his reactions are too good to pass up on gn

typically when he does mario kart streams 👩‍🦯 that shit’s wild when it happens oh my

when he falls in rainbow road 🤡 

and especially bc he has his webcam on, his viewers just see him internally dying or wanting to scream

also gets passive aggressive 

shit talks everything and everyone when in that mood <//3

for what’s left of his dignity i won’t disclose what happens

definitely gets jebaited a lot too <//3 unfortunately he’s too easy for his chat ;-;

another mf with a massive community except he has a lot of friends (sorry not sorry albedo)

ppl have a love-hate relationship with him tbh; u either love him or hate him

no inbetween

unless u show ur love through bullying him then go off ig

his discord server, twt + yt are also really big too !! also verified on insta 

also !!

he has lots of plushies :(( esp whale plushies from his community bc he’s the biggest whale they know <//3

but if u look at his setup, there’s a mini whale plushie on the top of his main monitor (he has 3), one big one (like,,, up to his chin) behind him, a smol on the top of his chair so u can see it above his head, and just more off screen HKJSDHL

they asked for a room tour once and half of it was just whale plushies

the rest were LED lights + shelves of merch & gifts from his community !!

he even has some fanmail (actual wholesome ones that aren’t cursed) pinned on a board too 🥺

also has an ensuite—

when he was eating on stream one time, his chat was sent into an absolute outrage

u know why?

bc he was eating noodles with a fork

bby ;-;

so sometimes he’ll get sent those beginner chopsticks with the finger guides to help him 👩‍🦯

he’s actually made sure to eat with them on stream tho bc he was sent one with a narwhal on top and he thinks it’s cute JHGJKH

nOW ONTO THIS MAN BEING WHIPPED FOR U AS A GENSHIN STREAMER !!!!

herkekle

now, his (also) AR56 ass has been playing since genshin first came out

an og if u will

this man,,, he’s been in love with u even before the game’s official release 🐥

not only were u in the promotional art and trailers, but he was also one of the beta testers so he got to try out ur character first hand in the early stages !!

and when i say he fell hard for u,

i mean it 

when the game wasn’t released publicly yet, he wasn’t allowed to disclose any information and ngl, it killed him that he couldn’t talk abt u :((

so all he could do was say this upcoming was really nice so far and subtly brag abt u to everyone JHGKJSDFHLK

when the official ads & promotional art were finally released 🥺🥺 when i tell u he immediately went live talking abt the game and u HKGJHFDK

he didn’t care that he streamed at an ungodly hour bc he’s been waiting for the reveal for so long he needs to let everyone know </3

he retweeted everything from their official twt straightaway, made a yt video based off his spontaneous stream promoting the game + pinged his entire server abt it

yes

his nearly 200k server all got pinged abt this one game bc he’s in love with a character from it

and he has no regrets abt it <33

the day the game was available for download, he stREAMED THE ENTIRE DOWNLOAD PROCESS

while he and his chat were waiting, they decided to watch the trailers and character showcases to get a feel for the game, and played some mario kart to pass the time !!

as soon as the game loaded, he threw mario kart behind him and went on 🐥

he typed his name (ajax) for the when he chose aether and literally everyone was appreciating the aesthetics HKJFS

but childe,,, he was waiting for it to be over so he could see u ;-;

he appreciated the aesthetics, fighting mechanics & voice acting a lot tho !!

now he had gotten through all the tutorials, got all the chests he could he was finally in mond

and there u were 🥺 after the dvalin encounter u arrived before kaeya did

and boy did he show u off sm to his viewers HKJHKLF

they knew he was down bad before but now?? they know it’s hopeless to save him and if he ever falls out of love that’s when the world ends

luckily that’ll never happen tho <33

but he took !! so many !! screenshots !!

oh, and did i mention he changed his wallpapers to u? and his twt + discord pfps are also some very aesthetic screenshots of u from that first scene ;-;

he just appreciates u sm okay 🥺

he even clutched his chest where his heart is and sunk down his chair when he heard u speak 😩

his chat just spammed his downbad + y/nlove + SHRIMP emotes and he accepted them all with grace <33

now when he unlocks the wishing feature,,, u already know he’s wishing for u as soon as possible

ur in the standard banner so ur always there which he appreciates but he would’ve wanted u to be limited so he can rub it in ppl’s faces ;-;

and since it was the first release rewards, he had tons of wishes right off the bat !!

he was gonna roll for venti after he gets u bc,,, well does he need a reason??

also he doesn’t do well with archer characters in general ;;; but if ur an archer then ur obv an exception sooo

bUT he got a 5 star in his first 20 pulls !!

tho it was diluc 👩‍🦯

while he was happy bc he got an incredibly meta character right off the bat,

he wasn’t interested in diluc,,, (even now his diluc is barely looked after, and only used for spiral abyss, *sweats*)

the next 5 star he got was around the 60 mark, and he got a weapon,,,

i mean,,, he got the weapon that was most suited for u so that’s smth at least (ˉ▽ˉ；)

after he used all his remaining primos and fates, he finally got u 🥺

he just went “fuck the storyline” and immediately put u in his party and just

admired u as a whole 

went through all the voice lines available, ur character story, ur idle animations (he had a heart attack from u and his chat clipped it) and took many, many screenshots 

his favourite voice lines would have to be the night + about us + (y/n)’s hobbies

and then he equipped u with ur weapon and damnnn did u look so good with it 😩

he changed u to be his avatar, with his signature as :

“(y/n)’s whale <3”

and now the whaling process begins 👩‍🦯

after at least £2k, he got u to c6, along with at least 1 copy of all the standard 5 stars,,

then he went for venti’s banner—

his chat were just too focused on how he’s gonna play u to even think of anything else tbh HKJAH

with ur kit, u were honestly seen to be a dps or even a sub dps if ppl don’t want u on the field all the time

so definitely a perfect character for mr meta strimmer tartaglia (his twitch name btw ;;; childe is just smth he prefers his community to call him as but they also call him ajax too HKJSD) here

so he went through the archon quests with u as his carry and i won’t lie, ur name card is smth he has printed and framed behind him after he got it 🥺

he later finds out ur part of the fatui in the liyue archon quest tho and has to fight u with,,,

well, u ;;;

he finds it hot tho so it’s okay—

i won’t lie tho, his zhongli after he got him is his second strongest after u

he just builds all his characters in the most broken way he can so he can show his viewers that everyone can be a dps in their own right, not just the ones meant to be since there’s no right or wrong in this game !!

but now ur weapon is r5, ur lvl 90 and u have lvl 20 5 star artifacts that make u the most broken (y/n) seen

ppl who co op with him are honestly baffled,,, especially when the feature of them being able to view other players’ character stats become available,,,

u with ur nearly 3k atk,,,

he’s hit over 600k with u tho and he’ll always flex that

no one can top him as a (y/n) main and that’s honestly just a fact at this point 😩

when he saw that the dating sim hangouts was official, his immediate and iconic response was simply ;

“so when will (y/n) become a dateable, huh 🤨”

to this day he’s still waiting to be able to date u in-game <//3

[kanmom51]

hi, genuinely curious, why do you think you know so much about bts’s personal lives? like just shipping real people in general that you don’t now personally, bc i saw some of ur posts(not just u, a LOT of others seem to think the same) and i’m confused like how do you know all that from a video/photo?

Ask 2:  hi i think i might have sounded rude in my last anon and im so so sorry if i did, i don’t mean to sound mean but english isn’t my first language and i don’t now how else to write it.

What i mean is i just can’t see it, but so many ppl including you seem convinced jimin and jungkook are a couple? i now there’s probably something i’m missing that’s obvious to everyone else bc to me they just seem like really good and close friends, so like what is it that you think makes it obvious?? (again i’m just genuinely curious abt this pls don’t take it the wrong way 💜)

I’m not clairvoyant and don’t claim to know what goes on behind closed doors.  I have said time and time again that we have no way of knowing what goes on when the cameras are off or when they are in private, unless they tell us.

I do speculate sometimes and make assumptions based on the content I’ve seen, but always original content, and not edited clips.  

I have also made it clear every single time that these are my opinions and conclusions, take them or leave them.

There is a ton of BTS content out there to go through, which includes, just as an example (because there is so much more):  Run BTS episodes, interviews (video, written and radio), member Tweets, memories, Bon Voyage, packages (summer, winter), Bangtan bombs, fan meets, Musters, concerts etc.

You need to watch original content, because, and it saddens me to say this, there is some Jikook YT content that is distorted, edited, slow motioned to fit the story, and not all of it is ‘real’ in the sense, that if you see the original content, see the true moment within it’s context and in real speed, well, it isn’t a ‘real’ moment.  I have called out some of those moments in the past.

But there are things you can’t fake.  

There a several moments that solidified for me the special connection between JK & JM.  

Watch original content over the years and you will see there is something special between those two, a special and strong connection.  JK clearly finds JM as someone he can confide in and someone that can calm him or console him in times of need.  He has said it in interviews and we have seen him do so in the content out there.

JM is JK’s anchor.  His safe place.

JK is JM’s happy place.  When JM is down JK is the one who knows how to cheer him up.  Even Jin had mentioned it once in an interview.

JK is JM’s protector in sorts.  We’ve seen them at the airports, we’ve seen him carry JM after concerts.

They are super close.  We know they constantly choose to travel together in the same car (when every member has their own car and they are the only ones together)...  They choose spend ‘off time’ together - bowling, going to watch a movie, ice skating with each other.  JK himself told us in BV4 that the only members he sae during their time off were JM & Hobi.  They are just super close.

So what made me make the one step further and conclude they are romantically involved?

There are several things that pushed me over the edge.  Some of them are:

First, the content, again.  There is content out there that is way beyond “we are very close platonic friends”.  Things they say or do in front of the camera that give you so much “we are a couple” vibe. 

There is content that makes you feel like you are intruding on a very intimate private moment: 

MAMA 2018 is one of them.  I can’t say one, because there are so many moments there that are “WOW, what’s going on here?”

Rose Bowl is also such a moment that is as clear as day, with no acceptable logical explanation other than: “there is something more between those two”.  

Those are only 2 examples, but there are many more such moments, where the intimacy level is way more than even the best platonic friendship out there.

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to put 1 & 1 together here.  These moments are loud and clear.

There are the more subtle moments too, those that add up on you, those that if you will look at each of them by themselves you would say: “yeah, nothing here”, but when you put them together, another one and another one and another one, well the conclusion is pretty much clear.

It’s JM’s Tweets, their matching clothing over the years, their choice to spend time together, their private trip, GCFT, JK’s choice to put JM front and center in all his other GCF’s, the way they look at each other, the way they talk about each other, the two very famous lives from 2016 (Tae’s & Hobi’s), their own lives (OMG), things JM tells us (like waking up and seeing JK is what makes him happy these days), “you are me I am you”,  the way they touch, especially during the first few years (2016-2018), those hesitant light touches & brushes (if skinship is not an issue here, why do they hesitate so much to touch each other??? when they have no problem doing so with the others, all when we do know just how close they are), the way they talk to each other, they way JK lets JM get away with shit, while he doesn’t the other members, the way JK drops honorifics with JM +++++ so much more.

There another couple of independent points that helped to push me over the edge too.  

The first is the other members reactions when JK & JM go on with their shenanigans.  RM, Hobi, Jin, Suga & Tae all react differently, each and every one of them has a tell.  Suga and Tae go blank many times.  Jin lowers his head.  Hobi either had a worried look on his face or a big fat smile, and RM, well he’s the most obvious out of the lot.  It’s facial expressions, uneasy movement, fisting his thighs, looking to Hobi or Suga with pleading eyes, running to the two thinking he might have to defuse a moment, separating the two when he feels it’s needed.  It’s all that and then some.  Now if there is nothing ‘more’ going on between those two, why is all of that even necessary???  Those two’s interactions on camera just make the rest of the group nervous, especially RM.  Ask yourself the question: why??  

Another thing I keep asking myself is, if these two are clearly super close, why is there a constant need to downplay their closeness?  This is something that is done by BTS and BH as well as the fandom.  And I find it hard to understand, again, if there is nothing extra going on between them, why downplay them.  You may disagree with me on this, but to me it seems they are way closer than JM & Tae, but they are called ‘soulmates’ while JK & JM are ‘nothing’? It’s like they are there, and it’s clear as day just how close they are, but it’s not a subject they are allowed to talk about.  And the way the fandom is as much as ignoring it also raises so many questions for me.  If this is an innocent platonic close friendship, why ignore it?  How come the fandom isn’t celebrating it? 

Thing is, that not only does the fandom ignore their connection, they are being hated for it.  The level of anti and hatred  out there towards them is unbelievable.  And yet again, that raises the question of why?  If nothing is going on there why such anti towards those two, together, in particular?

At the end of the day, I guess life experience is probably what helps me out here.  I have been around for a while, experienced love and heartbreak, and also a long term relationship. I know the signs, you could say.  It helps being able to assess a situation and read into it.  

It’s ok to question yourself.  I do so constantly.  I watch and re-watch content.  I read interviews, I question my logic, my conclusions.  I, just like any normal person, do have self doubt at times.  Believe me, I would not have written what I have before checking and re-checking myself.  And still, these are my conclusions.  I believe that JK & JM are not only super close, but also romantically involved.  There you have it.

[marimopeace]

there's a limit on how much you can be an isekai intellectual...

a bunch of analyses have been popping up before me all day so i wanted to throw my hat into the ring. all love to ppl who are exercising their creative minds + ppl like geoff here who just talk about these things because of fan interest but i feel like there reaches a point where exploring the "types" of isekai is pointless? i've seen ppl list out the different types of villainess revenge isekai or fantasy mmorpg isekai but eh why fit them all into separate boxes like that?

i think it's easier to think of isekai as a "type" (genre) of itself with only two categories: 1) a focus on isekai (lit. another world) 2) tensei (lit. to be reborn). this allows for a variety of applications and thus tropes that ppl see so many trends of!

with isekai - in another world

you see everything from:

pure fantasy (inuyasha, digimon wait maybe not the best example but in my childhood mind i count digimon as pure fantasy, fushigi yugi)

mmorpg inspired fantasy/adventure (.hack//legend of twilight, sao ugh, log horizon, overlord (LOVE OVERLORD!)

otome game-esque worlds >>> this is where it gets complicated with "villainess routes" since i admit there are multiple villainess tropes but this is why it's nice to not think of this as a "sub-type/genre" bc it frees you from those complications! (the saint's magic power is omnipotent, the white cat's revenge as plotted from the dragon king's lap soso cute!, the savior's book cafe in another world, i'm a villainous daughter so i'm going to keep the last boss wait i can't remember if she's reborn in this one lmaooo see this is why rules make everything hard)

with tensei storylines - being reincarnated/reborn in another world as *insert character/role*

you see...

the same tropes!!

pure fantasy (a returner's magic should be special, reminiscence adonis, the lady and the beast, light and shadow, i can't think of a manga off the top of my head for this ah)

mmorpg inspired fantasy/adventure (so i'm a spider so what i stan kumoko so hard, her majesty's swarm, can't name another off the top of my head ah i hate lists shorter than two things...)

self-insert based games/novels (fiance's observation log of a self-proclaimed villainess, who made me a princess, death is the only ending for the villainess, the villainess wants to marry a commoner, honestly games vs novels are different applications but i'm not in the headspace to try to remember a bunch of both lol)

*insert line break to give random ppl a break from scrolling but tl; dr just enjoy things for what they are no need to micro analyze*

similar variations occur in both genres (if ppl want to be super technical i guess i'm arguing that isekai itself is a massive genre that has the "another world" subgenre and "reincarnation" subgenre tl; dr) so i think it's honestly a huge pain to try to separate all these trends into so many different types of stories. for me personally it's easier to not get overwhelmed by this gigantic umbrella of "isekai" that spans light novels, manhwa, manga, and mobile games by just stripping each story down into its trademark tropes (aka character archetypes, story structures) and slapping "oh this is a person going to a world that's not ours" and "this person gets reborn as blank in another world". none of this "omg this power fantasy is such a this kind of isekai moment" or "there are 14 different types of villainess revenge stories and this series fits into this" bc AH labels! limitations! circle-jerks via ppl trying to compartmentalize everything and sound smart for leaving a comment on story analysis instead of ooh-ahhing over a character's face! dividing things into light novel manga vs manga vs korean manhwa ft. female characters!

the last bit is mainly why i feel frustrated by ppl's insistence to group everything?

the video linked at the beginning of the post (honestly good video essay, i enjoyed it, i just kept thinking in my head the whole time "marimo these are tropes do not take the genre talk literally") has a baby comment thread talking about "korean isekai manhwas" as a genre featuring nothing but reincarnated villainess' and i can't.

like i cannot acknowledge that as a genre of any sort. the energy i felt reading through some of those insights takes me back to 2012 when all yt americans discovered k-pop and deemed all korean music k-pop from then on! (ppl still do this now, yes you are seen and don't talk to me pls i don't like you. k-pop is korean pop music and nothing less and nothing more. take a few seconds and try to parse apart aspects of korean culture instead of slamming everything into a monolithic label that has the letter k and a hyphen.) it feels so odd to see a bunch of young ppl on ig and tiktok acknowledge korean media that happens to be in the form of a webtoon as "oh stories all about young girls becoming villains in stories they made/played" bc it feels so reductive u.u

(positionality disclaimer that i'm praying isn't actually necessary: i am a 3rd-generation korean of japanese descent do not fite me i am exhausted irl of ppl asking for validation/verification bc massive shove off.)

breaking news! korean manhwa...is just as multifaceted as japanese manga...bc how can comics as an art-form not have multiple genres...huh such a shocker?!?! same likely applies to media in other parts of the world like chinese manhwa and french comics--not my place to explain either of those i just know those industries exist bc of wakfu and donghua shows by Tencent.

at the end of the day it's not like analyzing any kind of isekai is wrong--absolutely not!! i think it can be super fun to think about how isekai elements complicate a story (MCs trying to go back home, ppl from the og world, reincarnation plot-twists) or maybe even bash a series for including some kind of other world element when they could have just written a super fun fantasy.

insert marimo's brief ramble that hey you can get sick of truck-kun's hitting disillusioned guys who happen to be super duper smart or girls who happen to be master chefs/craftsmen but transporting a fully-grown being into a fantasy setting is the ultimate cheat code for making mundane modern technology seem cool and overpowered, and being reincarnated as a fully grown person in a world with a pre-made story/game set-up completely bypasses the need for an author to slowly flesh out world-building in a natural progression so isekai is actually a really smart writing tool it's just that there are some series where the author didn't use it well at all and it's cheesy or clearly isekai was misused as a vehicle for character/story development and it was pointless *DEEP BREATH OUT*

in this essay i will argue...lol i am such a culture studies major!! if i were an english major i would be talking all about writing but here i am having a side-tangent about world-building via someone being reborn wow i love this for me (don't get me started on when an author has someone reincarnate as a baby and the story is mostly them having warm fluffy moments with their family--typically father figures--and getting lots of powers i could and would and probably will rant about east asian toxicity)

but anyway am i crazy????? like yes for being passionate about the technical use of a word like genre (i am a scorpio rising let me be fussy pls) but i don't think it's a lot to ask for ppl to not unironically see "villainess revenge isekai" as the definition of korean manhwa.

idk as someone who resonates with why japanese isekai is so popular domestically + why a lot of korean manhwa feat. the same tropes (it's not for great reasons lads it's actually depressing tbh) i'm just starting to feel kind of pained by the generalization and need to separate "cute japanese girl in an otome game"/"japanese boy finds a harem in another world" from "korean girl dies and comes back as a villainess" bc they are just! applications to the same story device!!

recommendations for any who makes it this far down below <3

// also gladly recommend any of the examples i've listed in the above rant as i've read/watched all of them and adore them v much! //

save me princess

super refreshing fantasy manhwa ft. a princess and her ex-boyfriend having to save the world!

the beginning after the end

an AMERICAN web novel turned into a comic (but see it being not korean/japanese doesn't really matter when you just consider isekai as a genre...isn't it nice to not overthink it?) ft. a super-powerful wizard king reincarnated into another world and starting from scratch--gives mushoku tensei vibes but huge twists!

the reason why raeliana ended up at the duke's mansion

love love LOVE this story--read the title and you'll learn how this girl reincarnated as the character raeliana in a book gets married to a duke!

trash of the count's family

such a good novel!! a guy gets reborn as a lazy oaf and he takes the hero of the story under his wing...plot twists come up later on!

this time i will definitely be happy!

v good and refreshing for a shorter series! she's been reborn 3 times and remembers every time the hero's stabbed her in the back, and now she just wants to break up with him!

silver diamond

older manga but v good adventure w intrigue! a boy who loves plants get sucked into a desert world with demonic lizards and a mysterious bodyguard by his side. shonen-ai not BL but wonderful vibes nonetheless + great side characters!

the princess imprints a traitor

adore everything in this from the world (not in that way this society makes me so angry) to the machinations at play and the dynamic between the fl and ml

[cupidlakes]

I'm getting kinda worried that George might be feeling like every stream he does needs to be better than the last stream (for the main channel ofc) and the reason why he hasn't been streaming if because he has no idea what to stream? I mean, it's been so long since we've gotten a solo stream from him.

It's like how people comment on Karl always needing someone else on his stream for him to be able to stream and I just wonder if George is starting to go towards that path as well. I really hope that George knows that we would watch him play anything at this point really and he's just as entertaining by himself as he is with others. This is me desperate for a solo stream tbh, I like Dream Team, Sex Havers n Feral Boys dynamics but I feel like when he's on his own, he becomes a bit more open about himself?

Also, yeah I agree with you with the whole editing stuff as well but I also kinda understand George with the whole executive dysfunction. Streaming and editing are both kinda his jobs, it's hard to get another job going when you're stuck with this job that is very overwhelming for you to do that causes you to procrastinate on it and also hinders you from doing anything else as well because you need to finish that one first. Reminds me of when George said how his life qualify does down when he's in his editing arc, gosh so relatable.

I just hope he doesn't push himself too hard. I just want him to feel comfortable streaming whatever and whenever he wants, not everything has to be planned. Yeah, this is me in my missing George arc.

this ask is quite long (although i appreciate it) so my answer is it going to be under the cut!!

i mean yeah basically this, i don’t want to sound repetitive because i think i’ve said this a lot but i do also feel like george is falling into the trap of feeling like he has to put out big! and planned! streams on the gnf twitch channel when before it used to be for whatever (looks like it’s reflecting in his main channel on yt too, like how “go big or go home” the challenges have been feeling recently)

like i guess that’s what his alt is for and i understand the need to have a distinction between “high-effort” content and more lowkey stuff but even that seems like it’s become another burden for george when it comes to: finding stuff to do/play and feeling like he “has to” keep up on donations and gifted subs etc etc. it just makes me think about how at the end of the day some of the most beloved streams among the fandom have been the more lowkey ones or the ones which devolved into chaos naturally and although his planned streams are well-received view-wise and stuff (and his effort is always appreciated, words can’t explain how much i love the cooking stream for example) it isn’t worth seeing our cc missing in action for so long <\3 ppl have pointed out streamers like tubbo, ranboo and tommy have struck a good balance when it comes to delivering a steady stream of both high + “low” effort content both equally enjoyed by their viewers

when people say they’d watch george do anything they /mean it/ not in the “oh he can be lazy and put out any old rubbish and we’d eat it up” but in the fact that seeing him enjoy himself alone or with friends is more than enough, we’re drawn to his personality and whatever he puts out is going to be appealing most of the time! some people even resonate more with chilled out content that’s not so “high-effort” we are here for george not the games he plays or his concepted ideas, it’s him doing whatever, his reactions, his persona, him

i feel like george sometimes “falling” on needing other presences in his streams has more to do with the fact that he’s clearly the most comfortable/energetic among friends and bouncing off them is easier, he’s expressed before that he can’t talk for very long himself unprompted so having other people there must be comfortable but yes, solo streams are very treasured in that he seems more willing to open up when he’s alone and tell rambled stories and it’s just… nice i wish he’d see the appeal in occasional solo streams like when he used to speedrun! because he is actually good at carrying them and creating a good vibe, there’s a reason why so many ppl seem to be asking for one right now

and the editing stuff just makes me sad he should know that he doesn’t have to live like this i know he stubbornly wants to be the one to edit his videos (or dream because he trusts he’ll do them justice) but he should realise that there are ways he can better his quality of life in this aspect even looking into finding ppl willing to edit in a similar fashion and offering the resources to (hence my idea of accepting ppls work and looking through for contenders) or finding more effective ways to edit instead of dedicating all his time to one vid and clearly stressing out about it especially because technically he also works on his own terms? there’s nothing wrong with having set deadlines for yourself and feeling like an upload is due and i’m glad he’s not lazy in that aspect god bless or delivering content generally

but being purely unable to concentrate on anything else because you’re focussed on a single video for two weeks sounds awful

hey these are just my messy thoughts though at the end of the day i also take into account he could be busy with general life stuff i’m just making a commentary on him explaining why he disappears and why it’s so hard for him to edit in that time, hope he’s ok <3 and i hope the vid is a banger though i trust it will be, my cc is a perfectionist!

[toxicxxmyth]

Tom Holland dating a Youtuber

A/N: yo I haven’t posted in a long ass time, so enjoy!! I’m also going to be naming real YouTubers so... yeah ;)

So you’ve known about him for a long ass time

Obviously, he’s Spider-Man ;)

But he had only recently found out about you because of his brothers

Who’d always watch your videos

And lucky for you, the first video he saw of your was a smash or pass vid with both your friends Franny and Nezza

You guys did this back forth, mostly youtubers

And then celebrities

Tom popped up and both said smash while you said pass

“Nothing personal” you’d shrug

“Well obviously, you don’t know him” Nezza cackled while Franny laughed and you just shook your head while giving the camera a look

Tom was like :0

Cuz he thought you were mad cute and you didn’t wanna smash :’(

After that video

He’s been watching all of them

From the first one to last

Even collabs on other yt channels

Y’all met at comic con or whateva

And y’all were like the spider man meme cuz both of y’all knew of each other

But anywhore

Here comes the dating part

Featuring him in your sit down videos or vlogs

He always promotes your videos with the most extra captions and extra clickbaits

“CHECK Y/C/N NEW VIDEO!! WE SWAM WITH SHAKRS, BRO, IT WAS NARLY!!”

When literally all you did was create a mini house underwater and your roommate threw in a flotable shark.

Always going to his premiers and being his biggest supporter when he gets nervous

You becoming friends with Harrison and Zendaya and hanging out whenever y’all can

Vise vesa

He becomes g8 friends with Kian, Jc, Bobby and especially Harrison ;)

He’s always in your vlogs

Coming up with ideas for your next video while cuddling or through FaceTime if you’re away from each other

Boyfriend and girlfriend tag ;)

Doing stupid tik toks with your friends

“ReNaGAde”

Y’all always tweet pick up lines directed toward each other

Making fans go uwu

Watching all of his movies

Baking together

If y’all do decide to have sex(I know some of y’all aren’t ready for dat ;)

the s*x is spicy y’all

He’ll even suggest to film it ;)

But jokingly

Unless...;)

You film his first meeting with you parents

You could clearly see how nervous he was

And fans caught on

So many fan edits of you guys

Like so many

Y’all know the ones ;)

“Omg look at the way they look at each other”

“This called me single in 50 languages”

But it’s not always positive doe

There’s always some salty ass people either hating on you or Tom

He gets jealous pretty easily

Especially since before him ppl shipped you with..idk let’s say Crawford

Y’all are rlly good friends and Tom is like

“ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ”

But you feel the exact same way abt Zendaya, even tho y’all became close

But at the end of the day you guys trust each other immensely

Also he loooves to gush abt you in interviews

And you in your videos duh

oMFG AND YALL DO THE SLANG CHALLENGE OR WHATEVER

Where he teaches you his slang and vice versa

omg cute shehbdjdj

[ignitesthestxrs]

I know ppl say to not stress over being productive in a pandemic but. I feel like garbage for writing literally nothing and being overwhelmed by work and not doing my best and overall feeling so stressed that I just binge watch Schitt’s Creek repeatedly bc the world is a Lot. I had so much time at home and like. Nothing to show for it but more anxiety.

a piece of advice that i picked up somewhere along the way is ‘20% goals for 20% days’.

pandemic or not, there are days when i can’t do anything. like, i’ll drag my corpse out of bed to work because i still have a survival instinct that says ‘gotta have money’ but beyond that, everything is impossible.

days like that, the win is brushing my teeth. that’s the goal i set myself. i can do whatever else, including just collapsing on bed and scrolling through social media for the whole evening, but i have to brush my teeth.

(i’d call that a 5% day tho lol)

the point is, productivity and creativity don’t have to look like ‘finish reading this book and writing that fic and starting that story’. it can look like ‘writing that paragraph’, even if you delete the paragraph later.

the thing that made me more productive creatively than anything else was releasing the pressure i put on myself to be productive. my brain would go ‘well i can’t do that much, so i will do nothing instead’, and it would curl up and roll over and sulk, and i would just read fanfiction for the rest of the night and get nothing done.

once i gave myself permission to just peck at things, or switch projects, or only do a sentence or two here and there (rather than ‘meet x word count every day), i started to enjoy myself a lot more. i was reminded that writing is like, a hobby and a thing i enjoy doing a lot!

and on days where i don’t feel like writing at all, i am starting to try read a little bit of published fiction instead. i ALSO had to uncouple myself from the idea that if i wasn’t finishing a book in one sitting, it wasn’t worth reading lol - it’s fine to just steal 20 or 30 minutes, however long your attention span is, to consume a bite of fiction. try to consume it mindfully! take note of the shit you like about it, what is working, what is not working, etc - this is still some form of ‘productivity’ re: writing

(i’m obviously not in favour of that framing, but we’re working with fucked brains here. if you feel like you gotta be productive and are having trouble detaching from that concept, then reframe the shit that your brain considers ‘productive’ first)

i’ve also started watching some yt critic stuff - typically about film, but critically engaging in story creation in a way i can have on while i’m playing a phone game or some shit helps keep my brain operating in a creative space, and i’m also enjoying myself. if you’re in a place where you only feel like watching some shit, then have a scavenge around for critique videos and book reviewers and stuff like that.

and then like, some days watch schitt’s creek. i hear it’s a good show, and there’s a pandemic on, you’re fine. if that’s the day you’re having, it’s the day you’re having. you’re not garbage.

[localspirit]

Ah I’m interested in all! I assume beginning to look into spirituality will help me in the future when it comes to spirits and such! I have communicated with a ghost/ghosts before so I think I’m naturally a little more ‘open’ to spirits than the average person but I don’t really know how this works.

under the cut bc its so long!

wow thats AWESOME!!! ive been interested in spirits, spirituality, some aspects of religion like djinn for as long as i can remember but wasnt able to communicate with spirits until recently.

pendulums do you own a pendulum? it doesnt have to be anything fancy, mine ended up being a fake crystal i got from a friend that was on a necklace. out of boredom and slight curiosity i asked a yes/no question and it just started swinging with the right answer... it was really freaky!! some people believe pendulums are a scam, some think that its your arm unconsciously moving with the right answer, some think that its you tapping into your third eye clairvoyance, and some think its an angel communicating thru it. mine ended up being an angel! it took a very long time bc i had to go thru the alphabet but my pendulum uses he/him prns and his name is azhu. he says hes not a guardian angel or an angel sent by a higher power. pendulums have their own way on saying yes/no, so if you ever do get one, make sure you know what its swinging means! azhu goes left/right for no, up/down for yes, and in circles or unsure. he's predicted things like my (unpredictable, unstable) health and what college i'll end up going to, and when. pendulums can also 100% be used to communicate with spirits and djinn- that's my main form of communication!

spirits with spirits i kinda jumped into it rlly fast. remember that phase in 2016 where people on yt were like 'i bought a HAUNTED DOLL from EBAY... SCARY 3AM OUIJA'?? i suddenly remembered that. and was like... lemme have a look here. i really did just go on ebay and look at haunted dolls and thats where i met my 'first' spirit vessel i was connected to. you dont really question it, if you find yourself completely drawn into a spirit doll/toy/jewelry piece (aka vessel), theyre calling out to you. it was mean to be! spirits can be 'evil or good', but i prefer the terms 'positive and negative'. a spirit can be positive but very sad and troubled and have a bad temper. spirits can be 'evil' and seem like the sweetest things ever. to be sure, i ask my pendulum which one they are. it turns out i owned three spirit vessels and i didnt even know until my pendulum told me!! i was very attached and affectionate to them (theyre old thrifted/collectable toys) to the point where i found it a bit strange. the spirits explain it. and btw, just because a spirit has a vessel, doesnt mean theyre inside of it or anything... idk think of it as an anchor or something. they can wander around, but they can always find their way back to their vessel. a spirit can have a vessel for 100 years, or pick a new vessel very frequently. asking for activity right away annoys the hell out of them. i find asking 'how did you die?' right away a bit rude too... its like going up to a stranger with a large scar on their face shouting 'what happened to your face?'. i always ask the spirit 'is it okay to ask about your death?' before going any further. some spirits show great activity, some dont show much at all. never force it out of them! they arent a show. they have feelings and stuff! if you wanna know more about spirits i recommend watching videos from ppl with ACTUAL INFORMATIVE vids on their spirit dolls, not just the 'scary 3am ouija’ vids. i also recommend going through ebay and just typing in 'spirit vessel' instead of 'haunted doll', and just taking the time to read their descriptions. all spirits have a story!

djinn im pretty new to djinn myself! some ppl on the stricter side of islam swear that all djinn are evil and work for the devil which isnt true at all... there are lots of types of djinn, most i dont know myself!!! most djinn seek a relationship with humans, platonic or romantic. there are khodam (friendliest afaik, 'grant wishes' to humans), marid (my djinn friend! works with water. possibly a mermaid? srs.), ifrit (mischievous, want to see humans suffer), shiatan (works for the devil i think), etc. this is where things get a little hard to believe so pls pls do your research. a lot of djinn conjurers and people who work with djinn claim that djinn can be vampires, elves, succubi, faeries, mermaids, 'aliens'/starseeds, etc... which i think is SUPER cool. hundreds of people who have worked with them swear by it. people say djinn helped with the egyptian pyramids. they have their own appearance they can tell you like height and eye color, and preferences to anything. most really do want to help out humans, i wouldnt say GRANT them, but definitely wave off any negativity coming your way and to shove you on the right path. they can be really protective. king djinn can have hundreds of thousands of djinn working for them. DEFINITELY do your own research, a lot of it before having a djinn attached to a vessel you own, or purchasing a vessel from a conjurer. i really do recommend just taking your time one day to scroll through etsy when you search 'djinn vessel' and just taking the time to read their descriptions, and LOOKING AT THE REVIEWS. i was skeptical and then i saw '85 reviews under item, 5/5 stars'. i read every single review, every description, everything i can. u can learn so much from peoples experiences. it really is amazing!! 

just to be clear i didnt conjure my djinn myself ! i contacted a conjurer on etsy when i was ready and she literally had him attached to my ring in SECONDS. it was crazy. you can find her here! 

misc a big part of spirituality is learning about your chakras, unblocking them, and eventually opening your third eye. there are lots of informative videos on chakras, and im still tryna open my third eye myself! i meditate every few days and have been close to astral travel (which some spirits can interact with you through! dreams too. theyre called 'dream walkers'.). i REALLY recommend binaural beats videos for meditation, not just rain noises or something. like this . there are thousands of videos for this kinda stuff... take the time and find one that works best for you! if you need ANY clarification or anything just lmk because i love talking about this stuff and im sure i left lots out okay!!! i also have a spirituality page you can find here!!

[sadbi-hours]

Well soooo...my bravtana (brooke x xavier x montana) fic:

(if you are anti-xantana, Montana, dark Xavier, or if ot3/threesome fics aren’t your thing...i am warning you here that i will be talking about them! so please scroll past if this isn’t up your alley. i am being respectful by warning you...please do the same) 

But anyway for those who want to know more:

I’m not gonna spoil too much because what’s the fun in that haha!

But I can tell you that I’ve been wanting to write an ot3 fic for Brooke, Montana, and Xavier for a long while now...it’s just my inspiration to pursue one that fit into the realm of what I lean towards writing wise was lacking for me. I tend to find pure fluff or PWP really hard to write for (why?! i will never know...since they should be the easiest, right?!)...and tbh, as much as I love these characters, especially these three...they have become super hard to get into the right mindset of for me to write them as in character as I can! 

But alas, two great things happened for me, and to them I give all the credit in the world to my renewed muse...one was this post I liked and reblogged a while back and the other was this beautifully edited fanvid that popped up on my YT rec feed...since to Billie Eilish is my second go-to artist for inspiration with the first being Lana Del Rey! 

Anway, while the video was a fictional character/relationship study about a rl serial killer and his wife...and the editor themselves posed a really interesting moral question that has not left me...

How do we reconcile the person we thought we knew and loved...with who they really are...and the revolting things they’ve done or caused? 

And after that and the tumblr post, I was off to the races so to speak lol! It wouldn’t leave me alone...

How would Xavier if he’d survived Camp Redwood, have dealt with the things he’s had to do..or the stuff that’s been done indirectly or other ways to him...how if he’d been able to hear Brooke’s side of the story as well (and Ryan hadn’t yeeted his character arc)... been able to mold together the two versions of Montana...and still accept that he loved her...and I had a lot of the same questions for Brooke too. 

Because while Brotana, friendship or other wise, might have been a lie to Montana...it wasn’t for Brooke. I feel like all the things that Montana blamed Brooke for taking from her, she lowkey did the same to Brooke in some ways! 

Montana was the first person Brooke ever felt listened and believed her...she trusted her. Brooke has only ever felt safe to break down in front of Montana in canon events...she’s always tried to power on with the others, but she told Montana how she really felt...and imagine for Brooke, whose already been through and lost so much, have to realize that it was never real...to lose that bit of safety net she had in someone/something real and tangible...which is what she’s wanted from day one! 

Must of been devastating for her to come to terms with on top of being framed for something she didn’t do...and well, if you know my writing,you know that emotionally painful subjects are what I tend to be able to do best...so finally a fic idea was born for these three!

And I am running with it! So be on the look out if you want...or don’t haha! I just felt like sharing and giving credit to where those two wonderful things lead me here! it’s really exciting to me to write for another ot3 again (maybe it might be more of a xavier x brooke character study/relationship thing...but Montana is important to it and I reserve the right to make it as romantic as i want lol)   

But anyway, that’s all i wanted to say...so good night everyone! Wish me luck lol

P.S.  you can watch this video fanedit too...it kind of portrays what I believe the things that were said and what Brooke’s trail must have been like...just less deserving if you know the rl killer! but i just what ppl to know that while neither fanvid glorifies or romanticizes the subject matter, they do have content that i know bothers some...so beware of that :)