#I can't wait for new years... My heart is aching for her. I need her. Love is cruel.

[masonmontz]

hellooo everyone :) hope you like it

REMEMBER: english is not my first language

angst word count: 9,5k

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“Y/N has a new boyfriend” Declan spoke and silence was the response he received. Mason felt his heart skip a beat and then fall to the floor, causing Mason to get a lump in his throat.

He just stared at Dec, trying to swallow the food he had put in his mouth before hearing the news. It took a lot of effort to swallow.

“I’m not hungry anymore” Mason pushed the plate away, feeling the strange sensation in his stomach, the same feeling that kept him awake at night. 

Lauren looked at him with pity and Mason felt like an idiot. Declan cleared his throat, realizing he shouldn't have told Mason the news, but what could he do if you were friends with him and Lauren too?

“Sorry mate, I shouldn't have said that” Declan apologized to Mason, but he shrugged it off, not placing the blame on Declan. 

“Who is the guy?” Reece asked, because after all he is also your friend. The restaurant seemed silent with the awkward atmosphere that remained at the table and Mason just stared at the plate he barely touched. 

“David. They work together” Lauren spoke and Mason looked at her, but Lauren was already looking at him waiting for Mason's reaction. Mason looked down and felt everyone's eyes on him, Dec, Lauren, Ben, Reece, Aimee and Henry. 

Mason felt like he was a bomb about to explode and everyone wanted to see the moment it happened.

“Sorry guys, I’m going home” Mason got up quickly and without looking at his friends, ‘cause he already knew that everyone noticed how affected he was by the news that you were dating, but he didn't want to see the pity in everyone's eyes. “Declan, pay my portion and I'll give you the money later.”

Mason left the restaurant quickly, but he heard Aimee's heels behind him and he sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to outrun the stubborn woman running after him. 

“Mase, wait-” she called him, and Mason only stopped walking when he felt the cold air on his face, needing some fresh air. “Hey.”

“I can't take this anymore, Aimee. I can't” Mason's voice was cracked, and the state he had been in for almost two months was deplorable. “She left me in the shit.”

Mason knows that Aimee is your best friend and he knows that you two talk daily, but he needs to talk to someone ‘cause Mason feels like at any moment he will reach his breaking point. 

His eyes filled with tears, and he was looking out into the cold night but Aimee could see his eyes were wet. 

“I'm so sorry, Mase. I tried to talk to her about it but she won't let me” Aimee hugged Mason from the side, putting her arms around his shoulders, even though he was taller than her. 

Mason looked at her devastated, and Aimee felt her own heart ache at the sadness on Mason's face.

“I really can't take this anymore, it's too much for me, Aim” Mason sighed and brought his hands to his face, because he still felt his heart tighten in his chest, he wasn't hungry and he felt like he could vomit ‘cause of the emotions that were going through him.

He missed you.

He was sad.

He was alone.

And you left.

“You know you can talk to all of us, right? We're your friends, Mason, and you can run to us whenever you need to. You don't have to deal with all of this alone” Aimee held his hand and Mason nodded, but he knew Aimee had been busy lately because she was planning her own wedding with Henry, but she was so nice that she offered to be Mason's support since you left.

“I know, thank you” Mason tried to smile, but he knew he gave the saddest smile anyone had ever seen. “Tell them I apologized for ditching dinner.”

“Don’t worry, but please, take care of yourself.”

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

You and Mason have been friends for years, you met in school and you had some friends in common. Everyone knew that Mason had been in love with you since you were a teenager, but you were never able to see him as anything more than a great friend. Not since the night you kissed for the first time.

You also knew that Mason was in love with you, but sometimes things don't happen the way we want, and even though he always treated you much better than your boyfriends, there was nothing you could do if you didn't like him back.

The night you were celebrating your twenty-fourth birthday in a place where all your friends were was when Mason decided to make the first move. 

He asked to deliver the gift he bought for you away from the others, and he gave you the most beautiful bracelet you had ever seen, it was gold and had your initial as a pendant, but it also had shells and stars, books, teacups and everything you liked the most. It was so delicate that you were moved when you realized how much Mason knew you.

When you hugged and thanked him that's when Mason kissed you, and that's okay, at that moment you didn't care and kissed him back. It was terrible to realize that that was the best kiss you had ever had, no one had ever kissed you so intensely, with so much love and passion.

Your mistake was going home with him after the party, ‘cause Mason was all over you the whole night and everyone could tell something was up, and you were also wrong for kissing him back every time, maybe giving Mason hope that it all meant something. 

At first it didn't really mean anything, but after weeks of having sex with him, even you who had an impenetrable heart found yourself attracted and in love with him. Mason made you smile, Mason treated you well and always put you first, and when you realized that, you also realized that you never put him first. And you never would.

You were working so hard at work to get the job the company was offering in Australia that it wouldn't be fair to him ‘cause you wouldn't be able to give him what he deserves if you had to move. 

Mason didn't accept staying away, so he said he didn't care if you didn't give a name to what you had. You weren't just friends but you weren't dating either, you knew his parents but not as his girlfriend, and Mason accompanied you everywhere just as... someone you were sleeping with. That was it.

For months it was like this. It was your house that Mason went to after games, it was you he called when he lost a game and wanted comfort from someone he loved or when they won and he wanted to celebrate with someone. You, always you, no one else. 

Mason loved you so much that he felt his heart jump with joy every time someone said your name or when he saw a message from you on his phone. Everyone thought you were his girlfriend, but Mason was too embarrassed to tell you that you weren't his girlfriend. Even he couldn't understand what was going on between you, so imagine telling others.

But your time was limited, and everyone knew it.

Almost a year later you received the proposal you had dreamed of for so long, and you were so happy that the idea of ​​leaving England wasn't scary at all, it was wonderful. You only told your parents at first, then Aimee ten days before you left. 

You didn't know how to tell him that you were moving, especially since you knew Mason wouldn't handle it very well. He was injured and had some problems with his Chelsea contract, and Mason was looking to you every day for comfort to feel good. 

He found out before you could tell him, and only because you left the plane ticket where he could see it, but it wasn't intentional, you just forgot to put it away. You still remember his face when Mason turned to you with the ticket in his hand, and you felt your heart skip a beat as you realized the argument was closer than you thought.

“Why do you have a plane ticket to Australia?” He asked quietly, but deep down you knew Mason knew what it meant. 

You couldn't lie to him anymore and you had to be honest, no matter how much it hurt.

“Cause I’m moving to Australia” Mason looked at the paper in his hand once more, probably wanting to see the date. The day you would leave.

“In ten days?” You just nodded, sighing when you saw Mason’s lip tremble. He put the paper back where he had found it and stared at you. “And when were you going to tell me? When you were getting on the plane?”

“I was planning on telling you right away, you weren't supposed to find out like this.” 

“It wouldn't hurt any less if you had told me sooner. How long have you known you were moving?”

“Almost two months” Mason agreed and you could see a piece of his heart break, then another and another. “C’mon, let's talk about it.”

You held out your hand to Mason, but he didn't take it and just stood there staring at you. You walked over to him and grabbed his hand, pulling him onto the couch with you. Mason sat on the couch and you knelt on the floor in front of him, resting your arms on his knee as he stared at you in so much pain that you felt your heart clench.

“Mase, you know how much I wanted this job, I worked really hard for this transfer and I finally got it” you explained to him, gently stroking his leg. “Don't be mad at me, but we knew I would have to move if I got the job.”

“It's not that I didn't want you to get the job, I just didn't think it would happen, it seemed so far away and you didn't tell me. I'm the last to know” he spoke, staring at his hands without looking at you, but you brought your hand to his chin and made him look at you. “And we both know that our relationship isn't going to work out.”

“We just don't date because you don't want to, if it were up to me you know you'd be my girlfriend” he spoke softly and you sighed, knowing it was true.

“Mase, I know you have a crush on me and yeah, I have a crush on you but-”

“Y/N, I don’t have a crush on you, I’m in love with you. I love you” he said and you felt your heart race ‘cause you never let Mason confess his feelings to you, and you knew that what he felt was much bigger. “How can you say that I have a crush on you when I've been doing everything for you for almost a year? It's not fair to me.”

“Well, I never asked you to do anything for me. Mason, I'm sorry, but I also never promised to offer you more than I already do” you got up from the floor and sat next to him, but Mason continued to stare at the floor in front of him.

“I love you and I've loved you since before I kissed you for the first time, how funny is that? And even after months of sleeping next to you, having sex, wanting to be good enough for you, you don't feel anything for me? How can you be so cold?” 

“I never wanted this relationship to go ahead ‘cause I always hoped to go to Australia. You've got Chelsea, you've got enough women to last you the rest of your life, live it, Mason.” 

“I don't want any other woman, it's always been you, Y/N. It's always been you, and you acting like it's nothing is what hurts me the most” a tear ran down Mason's face, but he quickly wiped it away, which was in vain because he couldn't stop other tears from falling, and before you knew it Mason was crying, sobbing. “Why are you doing this to me?”

You didn't know how to respond, so you stayed silent as you watched Mason cry. And the scene was sad, because there was nothing you could do to comfort him, what was done was done.

“I will wait for you to come back” he whispered, and then turned his face to look at you.

“Mason, that’s the point. I don’t know if I will ever come back. What if I like Australia? Or if I find someone there?” At that moment Mason felt like he was going to have a panic attack, and he was sure he was running out of air to breathe. “Go and live your life and forget about me, that's what I'm asking.”

“I can’t do this, Y/N. I can’t. I love you and I have loved you since I was eighteen, how can you ask me to forget you? How can you ask me to forget you after sharing so much of myself with you?” He stood up, putting his hands in his hair and breathing quickly.

“Don't forget me then, but I won't promise you that I'll come back.” 

“How can you pretend you don't feel anything for me? You can confess it, no one has to know.” 

“Because I don’t love you back.” You said it, and even Mason knew it was a lie, but it still hurt.

“You do. Don’t lie. If you don’t love me you shouldn’t act like you do” he said between sobs. “Don’t do this to me, please. I’m begging you to stay.”

“I already made my decision long ago, you're not going to change that Mason” you spoke with a lump in your throat, wanting to cry but refusing to cry in front of him and making things more difficult. 

“Just say you love me back” he begged, and Mason looked like the saddest man you'd ever seen.

“I'm not going to say anything ‘cause things can't get any harder than they already are. Everything it's over between us, Mason. In ten days I'm going to Australia and you're going to stay here and conquer the world. Without me.”

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

Mason sighed as he entered his quiet London flat. It was strange to return to a place that had once been the place he considered home, but now London was no longer his home, and neither was Manchester. 

Because the place Mason considered home for a long time was in Australia, and now it was someone else's home.

Mason was going crazy and he was sure of it, but he swears that when he threw himself on the bed where you used to lie he smelled your perfume. That's where Mason broke down.

“Why did you do this to me, Y/N?” He spoke to himself, closing his eyes and feeling the tears run down his neck ‘cause he was lying down. A sob escaped his lips, it was the first time he had cried since the last time he saw you and Mason realized that he didn't know how to deal with the things that were happening in his life.

His contract with Chelsea ended and Mason joined Manchester United, but he was far from a happy man. Even with so many insults and threats, he didn't cry once, and every smile he gave when he went to Manchester United was fake. 

Mason was just surviving and doing whatever he was told to do, ‘cause all his thoughts were about you, from the moment he woke up in the morning until the time he lay down to sleep. 

And Mason even had the false idea that you were also thinking about him, but no, because now you have a boyfriend. Mason feels his own body heat up with anger when he thinks about another man touching you, kissing you in the same way he did. 

Mason's phone vibrated in his pocket, and he sighed because he didn't want to look at the message. And it was something that had become a habit for him, if no message was from you, why would he be excited to receive one?

But he still picked up his phone to check and was not at all surprised to see Aimee's message.

Mason threw his phone on the mattress, looking around the room and seeing that you hadn't left anything there, not even a sock, and it was as if you had never entered that room. 

The worst part is that every time Mason saw Aimee he remembered that you two were always together too, because you were like twins, you were always together and did the same things. He also heard that you and Aimee had a falling out over your decision to move to Australia, but had talked things through before you traveled.

Y/N has a new boyfriend. Declan's voice crossed Mason's mind again, and that phrase had been haunting him ever since he heard it. 

Mason knew you loved him, he could see it in the touches, the looks and even the secrets you shared with each other. You were too stubborn to tell him that, and Mason knew it wasn't fair to ask you to give up on a dream, but he wished he could have heard at least once the three words he always wanted to hear from your lips. Just once was enough, because then Mason would know that all those months together had been worth it.

Mason can't understand how you don't miss him, someone you shared everything with until months ago and now he's a stranger. How can you not miss him when Mason has been missing you even when he's sleeping? Don't you miss him when you're taking a shower with your new boyfriend? The thought makes Mason want to vomit.

But now you have a boyfriend and it's him you say I love you to, it's him who asks to hold your hand, it's him who admires you sleeping.

Mason didn't know it was possible to feel so jealous of someone while having a broken heart. It's been five months since you left and Mason feels like his heart hurts more every day, and he doesn't know how long it will take for him to heal.

He needs to forget you ‘cause you've definitely already forgotten him, but he doesn't know how. Mason discovered that he needs you the same way he needs air to breathe. 

But you moved on and Mason moved on with a broken heart, in a helpless state, and even though he'll never open up to anyone the way he did to you, at some point that pain has to pass.

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹ 3 months later ✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“No, I didn't forget the dress, mum” you said in a phone call walking through the London airport while talking to your mother. She was traveling to Ireland and wouldn't be back until next week, so you were alone for the next few days. “Yes, I will wait for you to come back, you know I will stay in England for twenty days. I know. Yes, I will. Bye, I love you too.”

You almost groaned at the amount of people walking around London airport, and it would be much harder to find Aimee than you thought. After eight months, you are back in the rainy, cold weather of England, and you missed it so much that you felt like you could cry at any moment.

Aimee and Henry's wedding is in three days, and that's why you've brought yourself back to England, ‘cause you wouldn't miss it for anything. 

Australia is a great place to live and you love your job there, you've made some friends but... Australia is not London. 

“Y/N!” You heard Aimee's voice before you even saw her, and your eyes filled with tears when you saw her waiting for you at the airport exit. It was like a scene from a movie, but you ran and hugged each other while you cried.

“How can you go and live far away from me? My God, I hate you, I was dying missing you” she cried, and you didn't let go of each other for long minutes. “Did you miss me?”

“Of course I missed you” you wiped the tear from your tear-streaked face, and it was impossible to stop smiling when you knew you were home again. “You look so beautiful. How is everyone? Are you looking forward to the wedding?”

“I can't believe I'm without my best friend when I get married, let's start there. And yes, everyone is fine, everyone is excited to see you again” you and Aimee walked towards the airport exit carrying your bags, and the reception you received was heavy rain at the exit. Nothing better than being in England.

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“I heard you have a boyfriend in Australia” Henry said with a smirk on his mouth, and you blushed. “Why didn't you bring him?”

“First, we’re just having sex, he’s not my boyfriend. Second, why would I bring him to your wedding?” You put a piece of pizza in your mouth, wanting to ignore what they were talking about. 

Josh wasn't really your boyfriend, you worked together and enjoyed being together, but he was in love with someone else and you knew it, so you never wanted anything from him. Your heart was only half in Australia too.

“And what was that photo you posted on Instagram months ago?” Aimee asked and you looked angry at her. They were nosy and wouldn't change.

“He mentioned me in his stories, what could I do?” You shrugged it off, because it really wasn't that big of a deal.

“Everyone saw it” Henry said, and he emphasized when he said “everyone”. 

You looked at him and thought of Mason. In fact, Mason hadn't left your thoughts for months, he was what you thought about twenty-four hours a day. You looked at the table without looking at the two of them, and even though you didn't want to show that you cared about Mason, they were able to read your face like a book.

“You know he's coming to the wedding, right?” Aimee asked and you agreed. “It's the international break and he has a few days off, he'll be in London during those days.” 

“I know.” 

You were nervous about seeing Mason again after so long, even more because you left without saying what he wanted so bad to hear. 

It wasn't fair to confess your feelings when you were moving to the other side of the world. It wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to you, that's why even after so many months with him and knowing how much he loved you, you refused to tell him how you felt about him, because you knew it would be worse.

Deep down you know that if he brings someone else it will hurt, but you can't feel hurt when it was your decision. Maybe, just maybe, if Mason is over you it means that going back to Australia and moving on is the best option, even if you feel incomplete. 

God, it's so hard to love someone and want to do the right thing.

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“Should I wear red lingerie?” Aimee asked and you looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“You’re not supposed to have sex until the wedding” you looked at yourself in the mirror, admiring your bare legs in the long-sleeved black dress. “Do I look hotter or is it just me?”

“You are hot, baby.” 

You and Aimee are getting ready for her bachelorette party at a club in London, one you used to go to as teenagers. She's invited her bridesmaids and other friends, and it's sure to be an amazing night.

You can't believe your best friend is getting married. 

The club was full of people, the music was lively and soon you found the place reserved for Aimee's bachelor party, because there were balloons, glitter, feathers and lots of pink and white.

In Australia you made some friends but it was different being with the people you grew up with, who know you inside out and like the same things as you. 

Aimee cried every fifteen minutes when she remembered that she was going to marry the love of her life in two days, and in the end someone always cried with emotion with her. She and Henry loved each other since they met, it was incredible to see how well they worked together, how much Henry treated her well or did everything for her.

You always wanted someone like that by your side.

As you watched Aimee talk to Kylie, probably about the wedding or about Henry, you remembered that you had a person like that for you.

And you ruined everything. 

You felt your heart skip a beat when you thought about Mason again, and even after the drinks you had already had, you felt sad when you remembered that besides pushing Mason out of your life, you were also alone.

A few months ago, before you moved, you asked your mother how she knew that Richard, your stepfather, was the right person for her. She and your father had a bad marriage and she was not happy, and you and your sister suffered the consequences of that failed marriage, but with Richard she was glowing with happiness.

“It needs to be someone special.” 

Someone who doesn't argue with you, someone who celebrates the little things, someone who makes you happy most days. Happiness isn't eternal but it's moments, and if someone makes you sad more than happy, there's something wrong.

You had someone special, and you realized it when you stared into that empty, silent apartment in Australia, far from everyone you love. 

You were lost in thought, but you came back to reality when Aimee screamed and pointed behind you, and then you heard male laughter.

A laugh that you could recognize anywhere.

You smelled Mason's scent before you even saw him and your legs went weak as you realized what was happening. 

“Hi boys” Aime squealed, cheering as Henry walked up to her and kissed her in front of everyone, causing the girls to clap. You’d have smiled if you weren't feeling Mason's gaze on your back.

It was ridiculous that you were afraid to turn around and look at him, but you were scared to death. You turned so you could look at his face, even if it was the only time that night. You couldn't help yourself ‘cause you needed to look at him, so you turned around.

You met his eyes before you could react, because you knew he was watching you, his gaze heavy on your back. His face was serious now, and the worst thing was that you noticed that his eyes no longer had that sparkle they had when you were together.

You were the one most to blame for this.

You couldn't look away from him but you couldn't say anything either, you were just taken out of your thoughts and had to look to your side when Declan shouted when he saw you. You smiled at your friend, happy to see him, because Declan was your family too.

“Hello, D” you hugged him, closing your eyes and feeling emotional. You don't know how you managed to go so many months without seeing them. “How are you?”

“I'm fine. And you? Did you realize that England is your place?” Lauren walked over and Declan wrapped his arms around her neck. “This woman has been talking about you every day since you moved in, I couldn't take it anymore.”

“That’s not true” she complained and rolled her eyes smiling, because Lauren was also one of your best friends. “By the way, we missed you, Y/N.”

Mason was standing in the same spot and you finally turned to him after talking to Declan, and you almost rolled your eyes when you saw them all move away purposefully. It was like seeing a ray of sunshine after a storm, and you felt like nothing else mattered when Mason had his eyes on you like you were the only woman in the room.

It was ridiculous to try to explain how handsome Mason looked. He was wearing black pants, a black men's tank top, a white wool coat and Converse. 

“Hello Mason” you said, and even with the loud music he would hear, because it seemed like there were only the two of you there. 

Mason scratched his throat before answering you, he seemed as nervous as you were, and deep down, you were glad for that.

“Hello” he mumbled but you could read his lips. Oh, how you missed his voice.

You took a step towards him, ignoring that everyone was looking at you, and you were lost with the Mason colony around you. 

“You good?” You asked and Mason just nodded, but then Reece appeared hugging Mason by the neck and breaking the bad mood between you. He was drunk and you noticed, he was laughing at nothing and holding onto Mason. You smiled, because you had missed him too. 

“Oh, did you remember you have friends?” You rolled your eyes and hugged him, feeling Mason's gaze on you. “I missed you, Y/N.” 

“I missed you so much, Reece. There is no one like you in Australia.”

“Mason missed you too, but he doesn't tell anyone” Reece whispered in your ear and you smiled, not looking at Mason so he wouldn't realize his friend was talking about him, but before you could do anything, Mason left and went to Declan and Lauren. “He's been a complicated boy these past few months.”

“I fucked up with him and he hates me now” and it was true, Mason probably started to despise you after you were such a bitch to him. 

“He loves you, but he is so stubborn ‘cause you hurt him.”

Mason was now on his back, and God, you just wanted to hug him and feel safe again as you felt his arms around you. 

Mason ignored you perfectly for a long time, you couldn't get close to him and you didn't know how either. Was it fair to want to talk to him and then leave again? Maybe Mason is just protecting his own heart because you already broke his heart once, it's not right to break his heart again after so many months.

Henry said that he had decided to come to the same club as Aimee ‘cause he wanted to have fun with her and the boys, and you smiled at his confession. Aimee knew he was coming and hadn't told you anything, who thought it would be a girls' night. 

“Where's your boyfriend, Y/N?” Declan asked hours later when you were both sitting on the beanbags, the music lower now and you could talk without shouting. 

Before you could answer Mason stood up, saying he was going to get a drink from the bar even though the table was full of drink options. You looked at him disappointed ‘cause you wanted to be able to talk to him or tell him that you don't have a boyfriend, and he preferred to leave than hear you talk about another man.

“Our boy Mason is jealous” Reece laughed and you decided to go after Mason, without answering Declan's question.

It wasn't hard to find Mason, he sat in one of the chairs at the counter and had his back to you, so you quickly sat next to him. He noticed when you sat down next to him but didn't say anything, just continued to stare at the untouched drink in front of him. 

“Running away is not something you usually do” you said and Mason finally looked at you, raising his eyebrows.

“I used to do a lot of things that I don't do anymore” not that you deserve Mason being rude, but it's clear that Mason still resents you. 

“And that's why I know things between us aren't resolved yet” you saw Mason sigh, and you wanted so much to be able to hug him, but if you asked him to he would probably run away from you.

“Yes, everything is resolved. We resolved it when you decided to leave” Mason held the glass and threatened to get up, but you grabbed his arm and stopped him from leaving. “Please let me go, don't make me suffer again.”

“I don't want to make you suffer, Mason, I just want to talk to you for a while” you practically begged him, but Mason was still trying to pull away from you. 

“Talk about what? About how my life went to shit after you left? That I was here suffering while you started a new life in fucking Australia? You wanna know about that to laugh at me because I was an idiot?” 

“Don’t do that, please” you whispered, because Mason had no idea how much you suffered away from him. You never told him, of course he doesn't know.

“I gave my all to you, Y/N, and that's the worst ‘cause I still love you so much that my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest” he said looking at you and you felt your own hands tremble, Mason always had that effect on you. “You can't just leave and come back wanting to talk to me like everything is fine, because it's not.”

“Please don't act like it wasn't difficult for me too” You felt your eyes water and Mason shook his head in disbelief.

Because it was really difficult. You spent weeks thinking if you did the right thing, if leaving everything in England was the best option, if ending the best thing that had ever happened to you was the best choice, and there was only one answer in your head. 

“Yeah, I know. By the way, where's your boyfriend? Is that why your life was hard in Australia?” Mason asked and drank all the last drink he had ordered. “I went to hell after you moved out, and while you were there enjoying your new life I stayed here because I was dropped off without notice. Don't feel rejected because I don't want you to fuck me again, you rejected me first.”

Mason turned his back and left the club without saying goodbye, leaving you alone with the guilt and regret consuming you.

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

You took at least five deep breaths before ringing the bell on the white door in front of you. You also don't know how or why, but your fingerprint was still registered at the entrance to the building where Mason has a flat in London, and after convincing Aimee to tell you if he was there, she finally said yes. 

You regretted it the second you rang the doorbell, especially since it was only seven thirty in the morning, but you had been up all night and would go crazy if you didn't go there. You raised your finger to press the doorbell again but heard a grumble coming from the other side of the door, and you hated yourself ‘cause you probably woke Mason up.

He opened the door wearing only underwear and a crumpled face. You swallowed hard.

“Y/n?” He spoke in a hoarse voice, and before he could tell you to leave, you entered the apartment cause you needed to talk to him. “Is there something wrong?”

Mason closed the door and looked at you, waiting for you to answer. You took another deep breath, but it still wasn't enough to make you less nervous.

“It was difficult for me too, it still is” Mason raised his eyebrow. “Don't think that just because I never said what you wanted to hear, I didn't feel anything, I just knew that our time together had an end date and there was nothing to change that.”

“Look, I don’t want to-”

“You’re gonna listen to me, Mason” you stopped Mason from speaking, and then he kept looking at you. “It's not fair for you to say that I didn't suffer, because no one was in Australia with me to know that, you don't know how many nights I cried on the phone with Aimee wanting to give up everything to go back to England and to you.”

“And I don't care if you think I don't care about you, but know that you were one of the best things that ever happened to me and you can't treat me badly like you treated me yesterday, it's not fair to me either” you stopped for two seconds to breathe, and Mason looked at you without saying anything. “You know how much I always wanted this job, Mason, and you can't imagine how much it hurts me to realize that I'm gone and I was much happier here than I am in Australia.”

A tear fell from your face and you wiped it away, Mason brought his hands to his face and sighed, taking a step towards you, but you stopped him from getting closer. 

“I'm not here to ask you for forgiveness, I just needed to say a few things.”

And you were gone as quickly as you arrived, leaving Mason and his own thoughts alone.

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

Mason felt like shit for the rest of the day, mainly ‘cause he knew he treated you badly. The problem is that Mason gave you everything, and when he least expected it, you broke his heart into pieces.

Those were terrible months, Mason was training, he was irritated with everyone and especially on the field, which caused him to be sent off and made the coach discuss with him. Mason spent months without sleeping through the night, got drunk at every party he went to, and even spent weeks without talking to his own family so no one would ask about you.

Aimee and Henry's wedding is tomorrow and Mason would rather be anywhere but there. He can't even imagine what it's going to be like to see you so beautiful and in a relationship with another man who's oceans away, but Mason knows it's going to be very difficult.

“Why do you have such a shitty face?” Declan asked as he took the beer Mason handed him, and Mason had been quiet for minutes while they were watching an old football match that was on the television.

“Y/N came here this morning” Mason spoke softly and threw himself onto the couch, sighing as he remembered the words you spoke to him. “I feel like shit again, bro.”

“You've been feeling like shit for eight months, my friend” Mason rolled his eyes, but he couldn't disagree. You came back and turned over all the feelings that Mason thought were gone, when in fact they were stored and emerged to squeeze his heart again.

And he knows that in a few days you'll be gone again, he knows it'll be shit again and it'll be another eight months to forget everything. 

“I feel like we haven't ended things between us yet, but I'm not ready for that. Man, I love her so much, she's gonna kill me again” Mason confessed, and for months he hadn't talked about you to anyone but Aimee. His mother would always ask, but Mason wouldn't talk about it to her, or anyone else. 

The funniest thing was that even the fans said that there was something wrong with Mason, but he always said that everything was fine while putting that sadness deeper in his heart. 

“Don't let her bring you down again then” Declan said it like it was obvious, but it was easy for him because he had Lauren, Jude and he was happy.

“It's not that simple.” 

“Make it so.”

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“You look so pretty, I'm gonna ruin my makeup from crying this much” you said as you shook your eyes to stop crying as you looked at Aimee in the wedding dress. “I have never seen such a beautiful bride.”

“Please, stop, you're making me emotional and I can't cry” Aimee said looking at the ceiling, and then you approached and hugged her, saying once again how beautiful she was. “You look beautiful too, that color looks wonderful on you.”

“I know, I really look good in blue” you joked, and she laughed as the two of you checked to make sure everything was ready for Aimee to get married. “Let's check if we have everything.”

Aimee agreed and went to the window to see the place where the ceremony was taking place. All the guests were already there and in a few minutes it would be her turn. The day was beautiful, and everything was perfect. You walked over to the window, looking down at where the guests were sitting, and even without meaning to, your gaze quickly found the person who had been your thoughts for months.

Mason was laughing with Declan and Reece, and he had no way of seeing you there but you could even see his eyes closing as he laughed. He looked so happy, he didn't look like the same sad-hearted man you'd met two days ago, and for a moment you felt good that Mason was smiling.

“Did you talk to him?” Aimee asked, and you nodded.

“He hates me” you shrugged because it's the truth. 

“He doesn't hate you, don't be silly, Mason loves you so much, he just didn't know how to deal with you leaving.” 

“It doesn't matter now” you wiped away a tear and turned to Aimee, smiling at her. “So, something old?”

“My grandmother's earrings” Aimee pointed to her grandmother's gold earrings, and they really were beautiful. 

“Something new?”

“My dress.”

“Something borrowed?”

“My shoe.”

“Something blue?”

“The sexy lingerie I'm wearing underneath.”

“Oh, spare me the details” you rolled your eyes, and then smiled nervously ‘cause the time was finally coming. Aimee's father came in to call her and you finally left, but not before wishing her good luck.

You went down to where the ceremony would be and greeted a few people, some surprised and happy that you were back in England. Lauren waved and called you over, so you quickly walked over to her, sighing because Mason was there too. You felt your hands sweat as you walked down the hallway, as well as your heart racing.

“Hey guys” you said and almost groaned when you saw that the empty seat Lauren had saved was next to Mason. “Is this place for me?”

Mason looked at you and you almost forgot how to walk, because he had this effect on you, making you nervous with just a look. He was so handsome, he looked like he was ready for his own wedding. You quickly looked away from him, but Mason didn't stop looking at you for a second.

“Sure” Lauren smiled and you wanted to kill her. You sat next to Mason, controlling your breathing, and even so he didn't stop looking at you, leaving you blushing. 

“You're drooling man, control yourself” Reece spoke softly to Mason, and Mason cleared his throat and shifted in his chair, making RJ laugh. You were talking to Lauren because you had nothing to talk about with Mason, but his cologne was all around you, making you drunk by the smell of the perfume he had been using for years. 

Everyone cried or got emotional when Aimee walked in, especially Henry who cried like a baby when he saw her walking towards him. You and Lauren were almost sobbing throughout the ceremony, and Declan was already laughing at you. 

When they said their vows was when you and Mason looked at each other, and a racing heart because of his deep gaze on you made you come closer and hold his arm, leaning your face against his suit in a loving way, and it was the closest to love you had come in eight months.

Because Mason means love to you, and not even so many months apart have changed that.

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“I'm nervous, I forgot the speech paper” you whispered to Anthony, Aimee's brother, and he shrugged with a laugh.

“Not my problem, Y/N, I've already said my speech.”

“Okay, I can do this” you took a deep breath and he helped you climb onto a chair. Everyone had already eaten dinner and everything was so spectacular, it would be a wonderful night for your best friend. 

You trembled as you saw all the eyes on you, but you held the microphone and smiled to pretend you weren't nervous.

“I wrote some words on a piece of paper but I forgot the paper at home, so I'll have to improvise, I hope the bride and groom don't mind” everyone laughed at what you said and you felt your cheeks heat up, speaking in public wasn't very easy, speaking at a wedding was even worse. “I remember the day Aimee came to me when we were in college a few years ago and said she met the coolest guy in the world and I said "impossible, no man is the coolest in the world" and yet she said he was.” 

“In fact Henry, you proved that you are really a very nice guy and Aimee was right, ‘cause she shines when she looks at you, just like we can see in your eyes how much you love her. I could tell you all about some of the embarrassing moments of the two of them, but I prefer to talk about love cause I think everyone would like to hear it.”

“I once asked my mom how she knew my stepdad was the right person for her and she told me it had to be someone special. It's a person who doesn't mind being silent by your side because they know that everything is fine even without talking. It's someone who makes you happy just by remembering that person for a minute of the day or the whole day. It's someone who doesn't judge you, doesn't embarrass you or devalue what you feel.”

Even without wanting to, your gaze fell on Mason, and he was staring at you on top of that chair with a microphone in your hand. He was paying attention to every word that came out of your mouth and you almost lost focus because it hurt so much knowing that you would never have him in your life again.

“You two are each other's special person. I'm sure everyone here has someone special, and it's worth dropping everything when you know you have someone by your side to love you and go through everything with you, because that's how love works.”

Your eyes filled with tears and you had to stop looking at Mason ‘cause even he got teary-eyed listening to you. You looked at Aimee and she was crying and trying not to ruin her makeup as she ran her hand over her eyes, and Henry next to her smiled as he wiped a tear that ran down his face too. 

You also had to wipe away the tear that ran down your face. 

“Here's to Aimee and Henry. May their lives be wonderful” you raised your glass of champagne and everyone raised their own, toasting to their new life together. Anthony helped you down from the chair and you quickly went to your seat, but in reality you wanted to go out and cry.

Mason didn't take his eyes off you and you started to feel suffocated, especially since he hadn't even wanted to come near you for two days and he still left you in pieces when you tried to talk to him.

“I've never heard such beautiful words, Y/N” Aimee Aimee hugged you and you smiled, still with tears in your eyes. “Thank you for coming, thank you for being my best friend. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Aim.”

You didn't even make it to the table because everyone stopped to congratulate you on your beautiful speech, and when you finally got there, Mason was no longer there. 

“Where is he?” you asked RJ, and he said that Mason had gone to the bathroom, before anyone could stop you again, you went to look for him. 

You waited a few minutes before Mason came out of the bathroom and saying that he was surprised to see you waiting for him was nothing new. You stared at each other for a few seconds before another guy came out of the bathroom and you and Mason had to break contact, so you pulled him by the hand and walked down the hallway until you found another door. 

Mason didn't say anything as he followed you, and when you saw that it was a warehouse and there was no one there, you went in and pulled Mason with you, pushing him against the wall.

“I love you” you whispered and Mason's eyes widened, shocked because he finally heard the three words he wanted to hear so much. Maybe it was too late and you would never be together again, but at least you got your feelings off your chest and told Mason. “Oh my God, I love you.”

“What?” Mason put his hand over his mouth, not wanting to show his smile, but he was smiling so much it was impossible to hide it. “I didn't hear.”

“I love you, I love you, I love-.” You had never felt such relief when Mason reached out and pulled your mouth against his.

Kissing Mason is like Christmas morning, or the morning of your birthday or the birthday of someone you love. Feeling Mason's arms is like feeling like nothing in the world can bring you down ‘cause you have someone protecting you from everything and ready to fight with you. 

“Does he ask to hold your hand?” Mason whispered and then kissed you again, and you couldn't respond because you were busy feeling the wonderful taste of his lips. “I bet he doesn't kiss you like I do.” 

Mason held you with both hands on your neck, and then he brought his hand to the back of your neck and grabbed your hair, making you pull your mouth away from his and look at him.

Why did he have to be so handsome?

And that stupid blond hair, that made you want to take his clothes off completely.

The look on your face was probably desperate with desire ‘cause Mason smiled and ran his tongue over his lips, staring at your mouth. 

“No” you confessed, feeling Mason smile. “You're the only one who knows how to touch me and how to love me.”

Mason smiled when you responded and pulled your mouth against his once more, wrapping his arm around your neck and holding you against him. It was okay, you didn't want to be anywhere else but in his arms.

Mason pushed you against the wall and you gasped ‘cause his body against yours gave you protection. How did you manage to go so many months without him? You only knew one home, and that was next to Mason. 

You'll never be able to live in Australia alone again. 

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

“Are you ready for a wedding?” Mason asked as he kissed your skin, and he whispered it because of the blue panties you were wearing. You weren't discreet when you left the wedding together and you heard your friends cheering when they saw you get into Mason's car, and you hadn't been able to stop smiling for hours, ever since he kissed you for the first time. “Something blue…”

You sighed as Mason showered you with kisses, you were numb with his body on top of yours. You didn't know how much you had missed this, these moments with Mason where you completed each other like soulmates, because only he knew how to drive you crazy. 

“There is still something borrowed and something old missing” you said, closing your eyes and bringing your hands to Mason's hair. His breath was on your groin and you almost moaned, because you were tired but you needed Mason so much that you felt like you were going to explode. “But we can think about it.”

“I don't want you to think about anything but me right now, love.”

✦‎۟    ࣭   ⊹

It's been a month since you got back to Australia and you and Mason have been trying to keep things at arm's length, but it's really hard because when you're waking up, Mason's going to sleep or when you're working, Mason's waking up.

But ever since you set foot in England again, you knew that this was where you belonged, and when you returned to Australia, you didn't think twice when you asked for a transfer again.

Your boss agreed and said that you could get the same position in England, but you would have to wait a few weeks for all the paperwork to be ready. No one knew you were  coming back because it would be a surprise to both Mason and his mom or his friends.

And at that moment you were at Manchester airport ‘cause the first place you were going was home. Mason. You don't even know if he's at home, if he's training, he might even be with someone else there and you feel like you might faint when you think about it.

It's already getting dark and cold, but you’re at an Uber with the only two suitcases of stuff you'd taken to Australia with you. The car dropped you off in front of Mason's house and if you weren't so nervous you would roll your eyes at the size of the place. 

You rang the bell at the gate and after a few rings you heard a bark and raised your eyebrows, because you didn't know Mason had a dog. 

“Hello?” His voice was hoarse and you almost cried, you were missing him so much it was making you sick.

“Hi, were you the one who asked for a girlfriend?” you were smiling and everything was silent for a few seconds until you saw the door to the house open quickly. Mason ran barefoot on the wet grass and you couldn't stop the tears from falling down your face. 

“What the fuck? Are you insane?” Mason pulled you against him, lifting you off the ground as you jumped against him and wrapping your legs around his hips. “I thought you were in Australia, my god I missed you so much. I love you, I love you” Mason whispered and squeezed you, without letting you go. 

“I love you, I'll never leave, never again” you cried as you hugged him, trying to hold onto Mason everywhere so he would never let you go again. “You are my home Mason, I'm sorry for everything, I know I don't deserve it but I just want to be with you forever.”

“I can't believe you're back, I'm dreaming” Mason finally let go of you and put you on the ground, then he pulled you in and kissed you after more than a month away from your lips. “You're still going to kill me by doing these things to me.”

Mason pulled your bags and pointed to the entrance of the house, and you walked as he pulled your things. You stopped when a puppy ran out of the house towards you, and you bent down to pet it.

“Oh my God, we already have a child?” you joked and Mason just smiled and crouched down to be close to you. The puppy jumped on your legs and then ran to Mason, who petted his fur.

“This is Ace, he’s a boy and he has been my new company since you left me alone.”

“Ahh, poor boy, he had to put up with you crying for long weeks.”

“His mommy is home now” you stood up and looked at Mason, kissing him once more. 

“My home is wherever you are.”

[leanderqueenie]

Oh oreo with choclate<3 if I was told you disguised yourself and the girl I long to hold, I would know the truth that you are with me and will soon be gone, and she is gone but will soon be with me.

[ddejavvu]

wait your new hotch blurb got me thinking what about they got secretly married and everyone knows that hotch is married they just don’t know it’s to bau!reader because he seemed very genuine in the wanting privacy so (after complaining) they respected that, and maybe one of the team members sees hotch and bau!reader kissing in the hallway of a hotel or something and confront him about cheating on his wife

"How could you cheat on your wife?"

Penelope's harsh, degrading accusation hits Aaron directly in the chest, through the layers of stoicism that he's come to forge over the years of working in criminal investigation and straight to his heart.

All Hotch can manage is a, "What?", and Penelope's eyes dim further.

"Don't do that, Hotch. I saw you. I saw you and Y/N kissing in your office. How could you do that to your wife?"

She looks so crestfallen that Aaron's chest actually aches, so unprepared to see the famously bubbly Penelope Garcia close to tears. Close to tears because of him, no less.

Aaron might have chosen his words more carefully if he hadn't been so startled by Penelope's unusual devastation, but his jumbled brain forgoes its job and his mouth takes over, uttering the thoughtless statement, "That's- that's what she's there for."

And in his mind, it's true, if not the complete truth. You are there for him to kiss, you're there to be kissed and loved and appreciated and cherished, but he's momentarily forgotten that Penelope doesn't know that you and his mystery wife are the same person, and his words so easily warp into possessiveness and disregard.

Her face contorts into a mixture of disgust and rage that could take out a serial killer, and he seriously considers recruiting her as Chief Lecturer of the BAU, "Hotch? How- how could you say that? That your wife is just- just some thing to wait on you while you run off with someone else? You- Aaron, I can't believe you, I thought you were better than that!"

She tries storming away, tears budding in her eyes but Aaron catches her elbow, ignoring the way she flails and squirms at his touch.

"Let go of me!" She tearily demands, but he grabs her by the other arm now, holding both of her shoulders.

"No, Penelope, listen-" He tries, reminding himself to send her to Derek later for a self-defense lesson, because the weak shoves that she's pushing at his chest with do very little.

"No! No, I'm tired of listening to men," She shrieks, "You were supposed to be better than that, Aaron! I trusted you, you were supposed to be the kind of man that I could admire, and- but you're not! You're just like the rest of them, you're some egotistical, possessive, heavy-handed, domineering son of a-!"

"Y/N is my wife." Aaron cuts her off, his voice slightly raised, but not harsh. Never harsh, not to the sniffling mess of ruffles and glitter in his arms that handed him her resume on pink stationary all those years ago.

She falls silent, finally, but her lips still tremble. Aaron squeezes her arms tighter, not rough but comforting, "Y/N is my wife. We married privately late last year. We kept it secret for safety reasons, but I'll admit we didn't need to hide it from all of you. I was not cheating on my wife, I would never-" He thinks momentarily of Haley, of the gut-wrenching sound of her cell phone ringing with a call she wasn't brave enough to answer in front of him, "I would never do that to Y/N."

It's a lot of new information to process, and Aaron grants Penelope all the time she needs to work through it. When her red-stained lips part again she breathes, "You married Y/N?"

"I did." Aaron nods, and though it's not the time to smile, he can't help that a ghostly one flits over his features at the mere thought of the day he'd married you, "I'll show you pictures when we're done here. Penelope, you can trust me. I don't blame you for accusing me- in fact, I'm glad that you did. I'm glad that your loyalty isn't blind. But Y/N is my wife, and that's why I kissed her."

A very wobbly, "Oh." Is all that Penelope can manage, and she sniffles again, staring at his tie rather than his face as he holds her steady in the hallway. He's glad that they've both shown up early for the day, but you're due to return with coffee for the three of you any minute now, and he offers her his pocket square to wipe beneath her eyes.

"You said-" She chokes out sheepishly, voice unsteady as she smears the tears off of her cheeks, "You said you have pictures?"

That's how you find them when you return, seated on the couch in his office peering down at his phone. You have to set the tray you'd been carrying down on Aaron's desktop before you can properly greet either of them, but you're immediately alarmed by the tears streaked over Garcia's cheeks when she stands to face you.

"You-" She starts, not giving you a second to speak, "-are a rat! You got married," She gushes, and Aaron chuckles deeply from beside her, standing and pocketing his phone.

"You got married to our boss, and you told me nothing," She hisses, but slumps so easily into your chest for a hug that you're more than willing to give her.

"I'm sorry, Penny," You gush, squeezing her tight, "We just- we were worried about safety. The more people we told, the more dangerous it would become, so we didn't share it with anyone. But- but we should have told the team, I know."

She sniffles and you draw back to pick up her drink from behind you, sugary and pink and topped with a thick layer of whipped cream, "I got you a drink. Forgive me?"

"Reluctantly," She tries scowling, but she's never been very good at it. She takes the drink from you huffily, jamming the straw inside and taking a drag at the thick liquid. It's barely nine in the morning, far too early for the concoction she's sipping, but she nods after she draws back from the straw.

"This is delicious," She decides, "And you two are traitors, and I'm telling everyone about this."

"You should," Aaron laughs, stepping up behind you to press his shoulder to your own. It's comforting just having him there, and you relax against him as Penelope takes her leave.

"I mean it," She warns, wiping another stray tear from her cheek and sipping at her strawberry drink, "I'm telling everyone. I'm- I'm gonna hire some guy to fly a plane over the city, and the banner is gonna say, 'Y//N Y/L/N and Aaron Hotchner got married without me'."

"That's fair," You nod, not bothering to bite back a grin as she lingers in the doorway of Aaron's office.

"And so help me god," She narrows her eyes at you, once more falling just short of intimidating, "If you try to take some extended-sick-leave time, and I find out you're hiding a pregnancy from me? No amount of frappuccinos in the world will make up for it!"

"Noted," You call out as she leaves, and Aaron's hand comes up to press against the near-indiscernible bulge of your belly before the door even clicks shut.

"She's good." Aaron observes, and you reach for your own non-caffeinated drink with a grin that's hard to drink through.

"Let's tell her about the baby at lunch," You propose, "I think she's more than earned a secret to keep."

[hazashiovo]

korra (legend of korra) x reader angst to fluff 🙏🏻

I gotchuuu 😉👍

Korra x reader

+slight Kuvira x reader cause I have a huge brain rot for her🥲

Angst to fluff,mentions of trauma,long fic because it has plot in it.

Korra has been...distant.

Ever since Zaheer and the red lotus poisoned her and forced her to fight in the avatar state she's been different,to you and to her family.

She doesn't eat,when she sleeps she has nightmares, she doesn't talk to you...and it's worrying you so much,your heart aches each time she sends you away with her deafening silence.

You try talking to her about Asami's accomplishment or Mako's new job,even how Bolin made a name for himself.

But each time she'd have that empty look in her eyes,as she sits in that wheelchair she despises so much.

Sometimes you wish you could read her mind,chase away the memories that are tormenting her.

"Please Korra,I'm begging you,try...for me,just...I know you can do it." You sit on your knees,hands on her knees. Eyes looking at her pleading.

"I'm not who I used to be, (Name). Stop trying to save me." She turns her head away, avoiding your pleading eyes.

"That's not true,and you know it!" You cup her cheek, bringing her face closer to yours,yet your eyes hardly connect with each other.

She grabbed your wrist, pulling it away from her face."I don't need you and your pity, so find someone else to nag and leave me alone already!" Korra snaps,anger running trough her body.

Your eyes whiden in shock and you feel like she squeezed your heart with her harsh words.

"Do you even love me?" You bite your lip, waiting for an answer you know you won't get.

You avert your eyes from her face. Disappointed with her lack of will to be with you.

"That's what I taught." You get up and turn around ready to leave. Ready for a new start away from here,from Korra.

"(Name) i-" she wants to get up,run after you ,hug you and tell you she loves you more than herself. But she can't even gather her words properly.

You stop for a second , wishing to hear those words,only fooling yourself further.

.

.

With time Korra started getting more ambitious. She wanted to return to the person everyone knew her as. The avatar.

Her wish to prove to you that she can do better was growing by the day. Even so,the last time you spoke to here was the day you left, a day she still regrets even now.

Sometimes she would just feel like giving up,but you reminded her who she was doing this for,giving her the will to fight.

It's been a year since you've left the south pole. Being there with the shell of your lover was too much for you to handle.

Since you returned to Republic city you've been reunited with Bolin, helping Kuvira restore order to the earth kingdom.

It really took your mind off Korra. Now that you joined Kuvira, you got stronger. Unlike someone,you didn't let your trauma and past tragedies hunt you anymore.

"Well done (Name), you're getting stronger by the day." The dark haired woman smiles, hand laying on your shoulder proudly.

You wipe some sweat of your forehead, smiling back at her. "That's the goal I'm reaching for." She nods, looking at your form.

"I remember the first time Bolin introduced you to me and my cause." She wraps some bandages on her wrist, preparing to spar with you, "You were so lost." You watch her moves carefully, getting in a fighting stance.

"Im not the person I used to be." You speak,words giving you a sense of deja Vu.

Kuvira lounges , throwing some big stones at you. You grin, dodging them.

Once you find your opening,you make some ice disks and throw them at her.

Kuvira bends herself an earth wall,then throws it at you.

You make yourself a wave of water,going around Kuvira's wall, your water wave is circling the older woman. Once water is all around her ,you let it fall,and freeze, traping her in ice.

You move towards Kuvira's frozen body. "You cold in there?" A smug smile adorns your face as you slightly bend down to meet with her face. Your hands lazily lay on your knees.

She smirks,your metal collar suddenly pulled towards her. "Don't get to cocky now. It's just the first time you finally got to beat me. Let's try it with metal bending next time hm?"

You roll your eyes, releasing Kuvira from the Ice cage that kept her down. "I'm confident in myself,but not that confident yet." arms crossed as she rubbed some sore spots on her cold hands.

"Can't you have some faith in yourself?Keep going like this and you won't be far from becoming my second in charge." She smiles.

You smile proudly, happy you can finally accomplish something more for yourself.

.

.

Another year passed,with you growing stronger and smarter every day,but the taught of your former lover never ceased to fade. Even now ,her return growing closer by the day. You wonder how she's doing, from what Tenzin has told you,she's having a great recovery.so far. Finally able to walk again.

You worked hard to become Kuvira's right hand,and you're now closer to your goal than ever.

So many cities you helped bring back order and balance , so many lives you saved while being part of this cause.

Unfortunately, Kuvira soon has to step down from her spot,the council finding a new king for the earth kingdom while your boss brought peace wherever she went.

.

"Oh and Flying monkeys!" You blink, looking at Bolin. "Isn't that what Avatar Aang had ?" You raise a brow,not remembering how this conversation even started. "That is so incorrect." Bolin crosses his arms. Looking ready to give you a lecture. "Avatar Aang had a flying Lemur AND a bison as his animal companions. Not a flying monkey, (name)." You roll your eyes. "Whatever you say rock brain." You smirk noticing his anoyed expression. "Hey! How many times have I told you to stop calling me that?" He pokes you in the waist,making you joilt up. "Stop that!" You glare at him,poking him back.

The two of you go on like this for a little while, attracting a few stares to yourself.

Until someone clears their troath.

"Am I interrupting something?" Lin stands towering over you and Bolin, giving you a bored look. "Chief Beifong!" Bolin is quick to bow down, dragging you with him.

"You little-" you stop yourself, locking eyes with the police chief, now giving her an awkward smile.

"If the two of you are done acting like monkeys,could you follow me?" You and Bolin now stand straight, noticing Lin's mood is lower than usual.

"I can't stay for chit chatting,maybe (Name) could solve this? I remembered I was supposed to meet with mako,like 30 minutes ago." The brunette boy gives you a sorry smile as you glare at him. "How convenient." Your comment followed by narrowed eyes,sent chills down his spine. Bolin took a quick look at chief Beifong,then left.

"Good. I wanted to speak to you anyways." You raise a brow curiously at the older woman's words. "You did?I mean ,you do?" She nods,not saying another word until you get to a remote Cafe.

The two of you sit down in a corner, quite remote from the rest of the people in the public space.

"So ,what did you want to speak to me about Chief?" You start, looking at the window.

"It's about Kuvira." Your face turns to Lin as she got your interest.

"What about Kuvira?" You tilt your head.

"I'm worried she won't step down and allow the prince to rule the earth kingdom." Lin stops,as a waitress brought the two of you two cups of tea,"Kuvira seems to take great pride in what she accomplished,but I don't think she's willing to stop there. People of earth empire call her The Great Uniter." The chief looks at her mug, waiting for you to respond.

You fiddle with your fingers, searching for the right words to describe Kuvira's wishes. "She has done so much for the earth kingdom,and she's a strong woman,in combat and in mind,the name fits her ,if km honest."

You stop to drink a little from your (chosen) tea, "And I know it's not my place to talk but...ever since Korra is gone,the people see Kuvira as their savior."

Lin sighs, "Kuvira is forcing people to do labor work for her , threatening them with their lives." You whiden your eyes at the words spoken from her.

"I know how she can be..harsh,.but she wouldn't do such a thing." Your gaze moves to the window.

"She is manipulating you (Name), because she knows how strong you are. Should I also remind you how you used to date the avatar?." You close your eyes tightly, trying to push away the taughts of Korra. "Why do you think she chose to have you so close to her? If Korra ever becomes a problem for her,she'll have you as leverage." Lin's fist tightens, looking at your expression.

"It's not true. If you saw the way she acts...you wouldn't say that.Kuvira wouldn't just use me like that." She sighs at your way of defending Kuvira. How could you defend such a woman?

"Everything Kuvira does is for a reason,keep that in mind (Name)." Lin gets up and leaves some money on the table.

You remain there , trying to piece together your racing taughts.

.

And just like Lin said,once it was time for Kuvira to back down and allow the prince to rise,she made the announcement that from then on the earth kingdom would be under her rule.

The rule of The Great Uniter.

This got you contemplating ever joining her,it doesn't feel right with you.

Bolin chose to stick around,but you wanted to leave. Being in a situation like this was too much for you.

"So you planned to just abandon me?" The person you didn't want to see the most right now was behind you, leaning on your door frame.

"This isn't right,Kuvira." You stated, covering your arms as you turn to see her.

"This is exactly what's right for the earth kingdom. I can't let that spoiled Prince destroy everything we accomplished." She pushed herself of the door way, moving closer to you.

"It doesn't feel right,I can't fight for something that doesn't feel right with me." Kuvira sighs. She places a hand on your shoulder. "I know what I'm doing,but I can't do it without you by my side. We accomplished so many great things together." She starts slowly guiding you towards a window. "Just look at how much good we did" her hands point at the window. "The land is safe again, raiders are not attacking innocent people or stealing. What more could you ask?" you look at one of the cities she got back and supplied,it looks at peace. What if she was right?

You bite your lip, "What happens with the people after we leave?" Her eyes meet yours,

"We give them a job, something to do to make the earth kingdom a better place,even the raiders."

Even if your gut tells you not to trust her,your mind reminds you of the great things she did so far. Kuvira never left you down.

"Are you telling the truth to me?"

She smiles, holding eye contact with you.

"Why would I lie?"

.

.

This is getting out of hand, Kuvira wants to attack Zaofu, Suyin's home simply for not obeying her terms.

"Kuvira this is madness,you can't do this!" You enter the command center ,she dismisses the people that were in the room, leaving you two alone.

"No. It's necessary for me to do this. Once Zaofu finally surrenders to me I get total control of the earth empire."

You scoff at her words.

"Do you even hear yourself?" Pacing around the room,you can't help but glance at her troops just outside.

"I thought you were with me on this, remember everything we fight for." Her armor slightly clangs as she walks towards you.

"I fight to make this world a better place,you fight to take control and rule and empire, excuse me but there's a difference." You move away from her,scoffing at the taught of helping her bring Zaofu down.

Kuvira glares at the back of your head.

"I'm doing this because no one else was willing to. And I have to make some tough choices that many wouldn't,why can't you see?" The tall woman runs a hand trough her hair, trying to calm herself down.

Now it all makes sense,Lin was right and you were stupid for doubting her.

"I'm leaving and you can't stop me. Not this time." She sighs, once you start moving towards the door, two of her metal bands parts push you to the wall,hands stuck above your head.

"Let me go."you glare at her trying to get away from her metal.

"I expected better from you." She shakes her head disappointed. You look around the room, trying to find a water source, yet nothing in sight.or reach

"Lock her up tight. Make sure she gets no visitors." Kuvira calls for two of her guards.as they take you away,you see the shrinking image of Kuvira's disappointed face.

.

.

.

You watch as Korra fights with Kuvira for your life,and Suyin's.

She got so much better,but there's still something wrong with her you just know it.

Kuvira seems to have the upper hand,until Korra knocks her down. She was so close,but she hesitates suddenly, giving Kuvira the opportunity to trap Korra.

"No!" You scream,Kuvira turns her head to look at you,a smile adorning her face. Looking around desperately,you see a little source of water, hopefully close enough to you.

You move your hands that are tied behind your back to use the water,creating a razor form to slice trough Kuvira's metal.

You take off running, attacking Kuvira with spikes of ice.

The metal bender pushes herself away from Korra , creating a shield for herself.

Kuvira Is pissed,how could you escape? Are her soldiers good for nothing at all? More importantly,what are you going to do?

You create a big ice shield that goes all around to fit you and Korra trough,finally getting to touch her after so long.

"Korra please get up!" You cradle her head in your arms as her upper body lays on your thighs (Kuvira is jelly~~) she opens her eyes,bright blue eyes you would lose yourself in.

"I came back for you." She smiles touching your face lightly,fearing you might be another one of her illusions. Your eyes whiden, smiling at her words

"I shouldn't have left you in the first place." A tear falls on her face (imagine Kuvira trying to break the ice while those two have their moment ☠️)

"I didn't mean anything I said that day,I'm so sorry,I didn't mean to send you away." Korra gets up,now on her knees ,face to face with you. Her hands cup your face, staring at you lovingly." I Love you." Hearing those words,you jump on Korra,giving her a big hug.

You sniff, smiling at her. "We should really focus on getting out of this situation now." Your voice cracks as you joke.

Korra stands up,ready to fight once more, her will stronger than ever.

.

.

.

I originally wanted to write something else,but this plot came so I just rolled with it. ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠˘⁠_⁠˘⁠)⁠┌

[samodivaa]

Deny the truth,set my world on fire (Part 1)

Bucky Barnes x Reader (Winter Soldier x Reader)

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ Part 2⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ Part 3 ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆* Part 4⋆*･ﾟ:⋆* He knew that she was having an affair...she denies, but the love marks on her body are still there. She can't tell him the truth, it will break him - the Winter Soldier is indeed inside of him, fucking her at night and Bucky doesn't remember. ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ Warnings - heavy angst, betrayal, smut, non consensual, dom!Soldat. rough!Soldat Words - 2000

Bucky was already waiting on the couch, tormented by the decision he has made – to confront her. Y/n enters their shared apartment, carelessly smiling at him. She seemed so generous about her love – a constant presence and support since the fight on the airport years ago. Grace and patience and consideration is what she made him master once again, these little qualities are in his control, thanks to her kind soul. Y/n helped him forgive himself and he chose to return love and compassion, chose to fight his past. Wakanda was their secret - beautiful and peaceful. Her heart was born open and although his hands were empty at the time, he filled them with the soft fire made from the two ember eyes. The dreamy mind is full, overflows with tender memories… When she enters a room, it blazes with red, pink, roses, but behind her blossomed spirit stood a façade he was not aware of. The floral presence is poisoned, spreading into him. And just like the deadly nightshade, she is indeed is a poisonous flower.

"How long has this been going on?" he asks coldly, taking a sip of his bottle before putting it back on the table. A stressed dove, mournfully looking at her as he gets up. "How long?" he asks again. „Bucky, what is the matter with you?“ There won’t be a chance of escape, he steps closer, towering over her as some sort of a warning. He just came back to life, laying under the warmth of it and is already being burned by the person who he trusted the most. Abstained for far too long, he needs to hear her says it – he needs the truth to devour his life. "Can I ask what happened to your neck?" pointing to her neck, his tone is still neutral, but his eyes are exhausted by the phantom following his mind the past days. Love makes knots, now it is brutally tearing them apart. He ran from the darkness of his nightmares for so long, only to find himself in a situation darker still. „I don’t know“ she is wearing a turtleneck shirt, she hates those – inside she is crumbling as much as her lies. “You don’t know?” his tone strays to the realms of anger – it consumes him, fear ensnares her until her back hits the wall behind, Bucky not withdrawing from her face even for a moment “Who was it?“

"No one, Bucky" she manages to retain her posture, not giving him the satisfaction of telling the truth. The blade of her words hit a nerve. "You’re terrible at lying" He crosses his hands, nails digging into his arms. Silence looms for a while before he nods, his dearest love painting his misery and his eyes ache with the weight of the unspoken truth. “So no explanation, got it" „I don’t know how I got them…“ Bucky’s eyes narrow slightly, trying to shackle his intention of breaking something. "So you have no idea what happened to your neck? Are you making fun of me or do you have brain damage“ his tone finally rises as he takes the collar of her shirt between his metal fingers, pulling it down rashly to reveal the bite marks. The image wraps around his throat as a wreath of spikes. “Who did that to your neck, because I am sure that it was not me“ „Jesus Bucky, why are you so angry, I didn’t do anything. We literally spend most-“ He laughs devilishly, still holding her by the colar. “Just so many bad things happening in my life. Nothing important, nothing new, just one thing after another, you know?” There is no such thing as life for him , it's just catastrophe. Unmoored and alone, his eyes become full of tears. The only still part is his body. He gives her one more chance to say something, to explain herself in any way, but the silence is pain chiselled forever into his chest, it hurts more than words. "Don’t be angry, please…let me go…“ "Don’t be angry…don’t be angry" he whispers as a lullaby, staring into her teary eyes. His eyebrows furrowed at her audacity to even cry. "We shared a life and you to cheated on me" His favorite beauty and terror on myriad levels keep her silence. He decides to let go of her collar, his fingers clenching to fists as their drop weightlessly to the sides of his body. "You expect me to believe this…? Really, y/n?” he says , his expression is still angry, but it appears softer "If you didn’t want to tell me because you‘re afraid, it‘s fine. Just be honest and tell me that, why are you still lying? That hurts me more than you think." „I am not…“ He stands there unmoving, staring at her and it seems like he‘s still processing this realty of her not having any concern towards him. Her mind is resting whilst his is grieving, wondering and reasoning. He can’t gain control of his dreadful spirit, he is the shell he was back at Wakanda. A tear runs down from the wet, dreamful eyes, landing on his cheek as he looks down, trying to hide it from her. Bucky takes a step away from her and rubs his eyes. His hands are shaking and it‘s obvious that he doesn’t want to cry in front of her. Their love is his apparition, a figment of his imagination. He observe her for a moment, he is dying in that house, buried underneath the floor of their shared past and she just watches it unfold. Bucky finally shakes his head in disbelief. "So you‘re telling me you have no idea where that bruise came from?" a weak laugh escapes his lips, choking back a sob. „You’re lying, I know it“ he says in a calm voice, but there was a quiet threat hidden beneath it. „I don’t want to leave, Bucky“ "And I don‘t want to get cheated on" he counters with an angry scream as his pain is infinite at this point. All kind of thoughts stirring inside of him. „I won’t say it wasn’t meant to be, because it was. We were. Only for a short while, maybe. But we were.“ It makes him tremble to remember their daily life, but now he is unsure which pain is worse: the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will. „I can’t tell you...I can’t...I will leave“ she whispers, having found a comfort in hiding. "Fine, leave then!” Bucky snarls, before he spins around as his heavy footsteps resonate through the quiet room, but he stops himself to look at her for the last time – the end of the line.

Bucky watches her leave, already nostalgic for his love. He doesn’t say a word, not even bothering to close the door as he stands in the doorstep, watching her go. Y/n notices him staring from the darkness of the doorway as she makes her way into the world. Bucky’s inner self is shutting down more and more, as though to protect himself, but it became inaccessible even to himself. Over the next couple of days, Bucky shuts himself completely in his lonely home. He only leaves the apartment to buy alcohol and some food. His days are spent either drinking or sleeping, and when he‘s awake and sober, he just sits on the couch blankly, staring at the wall. He is composed of nothing, but illness – a phantom built out of pain. The days turn to weeks. With his heart broken, he despises life. Rising from a grave with each morning, wallowing in his sadness and alcohol. („What went wrong...Did I do something wrong?”) he wonders for weeks repeatedly, tears again rolling down his cheeks. „What did I do to deserve this“ he screams, slamming his metal fist into the wall, there is nothing but a stain in his heart, it grew – infecting the whole heart. He slowly slides down, sitting on the ground as he buries his head into his arms and starts to cry.

- Two days before she left - „Bucky, baby…I don’t wanna do anything tonight, let’s just sleep“ he was getting harder and harder, pressing into her back to let her know. He whispers in her ear, but the voice is huskier than usual and filled with seduction „Цветок...“ (Flower) Bucky’s control is slipping once again and y/n gups at the realization. The metal grip tightens on her hip, drawing her even closer to his clothed cock. Fingers pass through the fabric of the nightdress, pulling it upwards to reveal her butt cheeks. His warm hand, spilled under her body proceeding to lightly trace his fingers over her nipple. She knows to her remove the panties by herself, not wanting to anger the Soldier from the very beginning as it happened last time. He groans, closing his eyes to savor the scent of her hair. Vibranium fingers digs his into her soft skin, leaving prints of evidence. „No, don’t…please…he will see“ she desperately tries to voice her concern, knowing there is no way of fighting him in this state. „Пусть он увидит…“ (let him see) His breath fanned the skin of her neck, sending chills to the bone.

He dragged his length through her wetness, pushing in fully leaving y/n with no time to adjust. Tears roll down her beautiful face, why this keeps on happening? The warm touches of his human arm move to from her nipple to her stomach „Я хочу ребенка...да.“ (I want a baby…yes) She takes a deep breath, sometimes regret settles in for not telling Bucky that the Winter Soldier was very present and real. He never seems to remember, they operate as different people. She whimpers at the cold touch to her clit, he was flicking it, making her body shake. His hand returns to her hip, grabbing it harshly as he starts thrusting deeply. His pace becomes erratic, being closer to his orgasm. Soldat forcefully holds her in place so he can fill her with hot cum. Her reality hurts so much. She wants to get away, but when she had tried before – resulted in him being close to sadistic. His fingers trail to her hair, removing it from her neck and he sinks his teeth. Goosebumps trickle up there, from fear, from pain as he slowly turns her head towards him – there is no sight of Bucky.

[goldustwomun]

pacifier (s.b.)

pairing: sirius black x younger potter! reader

summary: something about your relationship with sirius black had never sit quite right with you, and now that he's back after two years of travelling the world, you're beginning to think that you'll soon find out what'll happens if the two of you finally fall over the edge of whatever precipice you've been teetering close to all these years. anyway, you've got to work with him all summer, so what's the worst that could happen?

warnings: allusions to sex (minors dni!!!), swearing, cocky sirius and like kind of an annoying younger sister reader (but also that's literally me lol), bad transitions between light hearted banter and angst but i'm trying my best RIP, i imagine sirius to be mid-20s and reader only 3/4 years younger (but everyone is OF AGE), mommy issues if you squint

wc: 4.9k+

note: soooo i'm back :D again :D i'm almost done with second year and actually somewhat ahead with all my papers (with very minimal finals; def recommend being a history major x) and i've just been missing the community so enjoy this! i had this first chapter posted a while back (like maybe a year) but it was actually ass so i've redone it a little :)))) as always, reblogs and comments are MUCH appreciated and i can't wait to interact w/ y'all over this because i have been DAYDREAMING about brother's bf sirius :')

Oh but, babe, you know I've tried and failed But you just don't know how it feels To lose something you never have and never will

“What do you mean he’s working at the shop as well?!” you all but screeched, chasing your Mother around the kitchen, feeling a lot like the pesky youngest child you were. 

“He needs some help so we offered to give him a job. Honestly sweetheart, aren’t you too old for this childish feud?”

“Too old? Shouldn’t you be saying that to him? He’s like– thirty or something, and still continues to be the bane of my existence. Fucking Bla–”

Your Mother whirled on you abruptly, brandishing the wooden spoon she was about to stir the boiling pot with right in your face.

“Oi, language! I would tell him the same but unluckily for you, you’re my daughter and currently living under my roof, so you get to hear it first.” She gave you a saccharine sweet smile, the kind that had you biting back the urge to roll your eyes.

“--now, he’s been gone for such a long time, and we’re all very excited to see him, so don’t ruin this reunion with any more of your tantrums.”

You opened your mouth once more, intent on not letting the argument die there, but your Father bounded into the kitchen at the same moment, ruffling up your hair with a “Hey there, kiddo,” before promptly moving on to snake his hands around your Mother’s waist.

“Looking as beautiful as always, my dear,” he cooed into her ear. She let out an uncharacteristic giggle that had you bolting from the kitchen before you were scarred any further.

Your parents’ tooth-aching affections for each other was just that: sweet, but sickly all the same.

Somewhere inside of you, in between the urge for unattainable perfection and the fear of failure, you yearned for a love like theirs. Something genuine but passionate, able to withstand the test of time.

James, your older brother, had found it with Lily, and their son Harry being a product of their young but no less intense love. 

You loved that kid like he was your own. Would beg James to let you come over, play with the babbling toddler for a few hours, even going as far as to offer up your weekends, encouraging the young couple to “go out, live a little!”. But they were about as infatuated with their own child as you were, and had a never-ending supply of friends who were equally as eager to help out.

And one of those always eager friends was currently pounding his stupid fist against your stupid front door, and you were already riled up from the news your mother had broken to you only moments earlier, head pounding and fists balled into shaking fists, that you couldn’t take seeing his face quite literally in front of you, as well. 

You shoved past James, knocking him back a step as his hand reached for the door to let his best mate in. You caught a glimpse of him on the doorstep, the first in almost two years– hair unruly like he’d just rolled out of bed, long, black strands; newly tanned skin blushing under the heat of the sun; those thick, brooding eyebrows that raised up in your direction – eughh. 

“What’s got your knickers in a bunch?” James called at your retreating figure, shouting loud enough to be heard over your heavy footsteps despite the carpeted floor. 

“Ask your best mate over there!” you answered back with a bite, slamming your room door shut.

“Fuck,” he sighed, defeated, yanking his confused friend in and a chucking a thumb towards the stairs. “How’ve you managed to piss her off before you even got here?” he asked incredulously. “Peace– we had peace in this house for the past two years since you’ve been off, and now look–! It’s a bloody riot!”

“Oi– I’ve done nothing,” he moaned indignantly, hanging his coat and scarf on the gold-crested hooks by the door. “--I think,” he added for good measure after a beat. "I mean, I've only just stepped inside."

Sirius had yet to quite grasp why you got under his skin so quick, squirming between his nerves like a misfired electrical impulse.

You’d grown up together, spent every waking moment in each other’s presence when he was at the Potter residence (which happened to be just about always given his own family situation). If books and movies were to be trusted, what with fiction being so reminiscent of real-life, he'd have expected be like some sort of brotherly figure to you.

But even the thought of it had bile creeping up his through, as if it was so unfathomably wrong his body refused to entertain the possibility of it.

So no. Something about you and your irritatingly know-it-all personality, shrill when indignant voice (which was rather often around him), your need to always be right – something about you brought the worse out of him.

Had him constantly searching for something new to point out, to irritate you all over again, hit the nail on your specific head - something to really push you that little bit over the edge. 

It wasn't even like he enjoyed it, watching you get all huffy, nostrils flared, brows knitted together, face verging on a flushed red. Sirisu was well aware that with every jab the two of you threw at each other, things got a little more out of hand.

Right before he had left, two years journeying through the glades of Scotland, then France, Greece, Türkiye, India, Taiwan (he'd been close to everywhere), he had made the mistake of aiming a particularly ruthless dig at you, and watching your face crumple, devastated and defeated, it had finally cracked him inside.

But there wasn't anything he could do about it then, what with leaving the next day, and two years later, it seemed a little too late.

The rest of the Potter family didn’t share your sentiments about Sirius, and rather adored him immeasurably. Had since he’d taken to hiding out in their house after a particularly brutal fight at home when he was only eleven. Heck, he’d even attended every Potter-family gathering, dinner, birthday, you name it, since then. It was why he came over every Sunday for a roast, pudding and some chat – he could never put into words what your family had done for him, the safety, security, home, even, they'd given him when he’d been lost and entirely clueless of what a real family looked like.

So he made the thirty-minute drive, every Sunday, much to your irritation. He plastered on the biggest smile for your Mum, complimenting every minute detail of the meal she cooked for the family, drank a glass of whiskey and smoked a cigar with your Dad; he was even Harry’s favourite, always humming quiet melodies into the youngest Potter’s ear.

With him away, he’d missed out on the family time he usually looked forward to every weekend. Mondays seemed a lot less dreadful after having a belly-full of Mrs Potter’s food.

Still, he’d sent postcards and printed pictures of everywhere he went, the sights he’d seen, people he’d met. It wasn’t the same, not without the lot of you to pester him but he’d needed some time to find himself.

He still wasn’t sure if he’d found what he was looking for, but the money had to have run out eventually so he was back home, ready to work and settle down in his life for once after graduating Hogwarts. 

Sirius followed James into the living room where he found Lily, sipping on a glass of red, sitting by the empty fireplace. Instead, a window had been cracked in to let the temperate wind in.

She perked up as they entered, waving with that soul-wrenching smile of hers that could persuade even the most strong-willed of men into submission. 

“Pads, you’re back!” she called from her seat. "And you've grown a moustache-- interesting choice of facial hair." Sirius, however, raised an eyebrow at her questioningly, ignoring her greeting-slash-judgement as he peered into the empty crib by her side, even going as far as to search under it as if the toddler might have escaped.

“Harry’s gone to bed in the guest room. There was a bit of a shouting match before you arrived,” James explained, sinking into the space beside his wife and pulling her into his side. “Actually, now that I think about it, there was a lot of shouting after you arrived as well.” 

Lily snorted, snuggling into her husband without hesitation, and Sirius couldn’t help but avert his eyes, feeling entirely like he was imposing on an intimate moment as the two of them whispered in the other’s ear.

“Well, don’t mind me. Sitting here, all by my lonesome, no company or polite chatter to partake in, not even my dashing God son to entertain me” he sighed, dramatically, to no one in particular. James rolled his eyes at his best friend’s antics, chucking a frilly throw-pillow at his face (that’s what they’re for, right?) which he just as easily caught. 

“Har-Har! Ever the clown, Paddy,” James mocked, flipping him off just in time for his Mum to walk in and see.

“James! Don’t aim such crude displays at my son,” she scolded, wrapping her wrinkled arms around Sirius’ shoulders from behind his chair. She leaned down, kissing the top of his head affectionately. Sirius only whimpered in agreement, leaning into her motherly touch and whining on and on about how James was being a right bully. 

“My sweet child, I’ve missed you!” She beamed down at him, and that longing Sirius sometimes felt for his own Mother’s approval, her devotion or fondness, it lessened. 

“But you didn’t– He was just!-- You missed– arghh!” James groaned defeatedly, head flailed back to rest against the sofa, receiving no sympathies from his giggling wife and glaring Mother. “I’m starting to understand why she hates you.”

Sirius’ eyes flashed at that– did you really hate him? Had it gotten to that point?

At the mention of your name but current absence, Mrs Potter ordered, “Go call your sister for dinner, I’ve set the table.” 

He began to protest, failing to come up with a half-decent reason why he can’t walk up the two flights of stairs and pull your petulant frame from your bed– but Sirius interrupted in time, before James could make any more of a fool himself in front of his own Mother.

“I’ll go get her. Got to figure out what I did this time,” he offered coolly. 

Euphemia, that is, Mrs Potter, had a strict no-apparting rule in her house, had lost too many expensive vases from James and Sirius’ apparition-sprees the second they’d turned seventeen.

You already had your licence, having been of legal age for some time, and had, since graduating (top of the class, as you tended to point out, much to your Ravenclaw friends’ dismay) from Hogwarts, found a job at a school in the muggle world, teaching children English Literature in preparation of some exam -- O Levels, you’d called them. 

Sirius thought it to be some sort of torture device - these O Levels – but you’d smacked him across the head in admonishment with whatever book was in your hand before he could say much else. Having a family-run bookshop made it so that the books, or the weapons (in Sirius' mind at least), were in endless supply for you.

Your love for reading had come from him, your Father, from when he’d stay up till the late hours of the night, hushed whispers under your bed sheet so your Mother wouldn’t hear, as he read you the Classics in animated voices that had you completely enchanted. He made sparks fly from the tip of his wand, bright colours that your little eyes couldn’t quite get enough of.

You loved being a wizard, were eternally grateful for the world you lived in and the undeniable awe of it all. But words, books, literature – they were enough magic for you, took you to places you could only ever dream to visit, and had you feeling such all-consuming emotions that sometimes, you wondered if you’d ever make it to the end of the page, or chapter, or book. 

“Oi– your Mum’s put out dinner, she’s calling you downstairs,” he called through the thick wood of your door. 

Sirius didn’t know why he such an uneasy feeling settled into the pit of his stomach, like he'd swallowed some moldy bread or a particularly strong cider.

He's known you your whole life, watched you graduate from pencil to quill, and then again from Hogwarts.

Two years was a long a time, and the thought of you holding what he had said all those months ago -- what he hadn't meant, not really -- he was dreading the confrontation.

He nudged the door open when you didn’t respond, only to find you slumped across your bed, glaring, silently, at the ceiling and the pale-orange ring of light from the lamp on your bedside table.

You certainly looked different– older, possibly? He couldn’t quite place what had changed, only that he knew something had. In the way you dressed, styled your hair, held yourself. Even the look of your room– no longer plastered in repeated patterns of owls and roses, but instead a single wall painted a burnt umber and with the remaining covered in tapestries and muggle band posters hanging across every wall.

A stack of vinyls were shoved into one side of your room, along with stacks of books, some old and missing a few pages, while others were untouched. 

You heard the door click open, sitting up on your elbows to see a Sirius, oozing an annoying amount of effortless confidence, and leaning against your doorframe. 

Something in your chest stumbled almost immediately. He looked the same as the day he'd scolded you before leaving, and those stupid, brown eyes of his, like murky swamps you wouldn't be caught dead looking into, were training on you.

Though, he might’ve managed to actually tan, now that you really looked at him, imagining the broad planes of his shoulders, hidden by a thin linen button up, were more sun-kissed than milky-pale now. 

Except you refused to even entertain the thought. You were not thinking of him or his skin or his bare chest or--

“What’s with your face?” you asked, already knowing you'd regret the answer.

“Was that meant to be a greeting?” His eyebrow raised in amusement.

“Hi Sirius-- what’s with your face?” you answered, again, between clenched teeth. 

“You changed your room,” was his only response, and really, what did he expect to say to that?

"I did. Figured I'd use your absence wisely," you snarked back, meeting his gaze as you continued, "--you know, finally grow up and all that."

And you hadn't forgotten, but he didn't blame you.

You got up at his lack of silence, walking the few steps up to him, head tilted like a cat, wary of her surroundings but curious nonetheless.

"Was there something you wanted, Sirius?"

And fuck if the way you said his name didn't have him fighting whatever foreign feeling, urge, instinct was shouting at him in that moment.

You walked past, trembling as your shoulders touched, making it all the way to the bottom of the stairs before you had your moment of revelation as well.

Somehow, whether it had been a slow process over his two-year absence or something far more sudden in the past few minutes, he'd wormed his way back between the cracks of your heart, and this time, you worried you wouldn't survive.

The quiet jingle of the bell tickled your ears as you opened the door to the bookshop, dust immediately invading your senses as you fought back a harsh cough.

Your Dad pushed in front of you, forcing the door to stay open by propping a stack of intimidatingly large books in front of it. You laughed silently to yourself, noting how they were all Dickens (he hated Dickens, said his novels were disturbingly boring and unnecessarily detailed). 

“So, you can dust a little, and sweep the floor, before we open. Count the money in the till, as well, that’s very important,” he noted off, and you suddenly wished you had a pen and a pad of paper to write it all down.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t been helping out at the shop since when you were younger, but this was the first time you’d been granted the responsibility of having it all to yourself (minus the inconvenience that was Sirius Black). 

You were deemed an adult now – loved to point it out any chance you got, and that meant that your Dad trusted you enough to not hover over your shoulder every time you took a shift. He was working fewer hours, though now, none, as he wanted to finish the novel he’d been writing for the past decade after melodramatically announcing at the dinner table that “It’s time!” 

You weren’t sure what that exactly meant, but you weren’t about to argue with the man paying you an overly generous ten pounds an hour. 

You didn’t need the money for yourself, what with still living at your parent’s house, but you wanted to contribute to the house and expenses and what not, even if it was a minuscule sum. 

“Another thing,” he added, stopping, rather abruptly, in front of you, voice worryingly grave as he placed his large palms over either of your shoulders. “Please,” he begged, brows dipping, “don’t fight with Sirius in front of the customers.”

“I haven’t even done anything and you’re already after me,” you objected, pulling back from his usually comforting hold and pulling the broom out from behind the counter. His hands fell defeatedly against his sides as he sighed, standing in your way before you could mope yourself into a tizzy before the work day had even started. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he ensured, pulling you into his tight embrace once more. “You know you’re my number one, sweetheart. Just don’t like seeing you so upset.”

James always teased you for being your Father’s favourite, and you’d never argue, relishing in his pointed fingers and sneering words, because it was true– there was something between you and your Father, an understanding that no one else had clued in on.

He eased your worries like no one else could, smoothed irked creases across your face, replacing them with belly-hurting laughter lines and a grin so wide, you were worried it would fall off your face.

Anyway, James was the same with your Mum. You found her difficult to communicate with, what with her being as hot-heated as you were, so as much as you and your Dad got along, you butted heads with your Mum just as much.

“It’s ‘cause you two are so similar, like twins, I tell you!” But it did little to calm your nerves around her, or stoke the flames of anger you so often felt. 

You were about to respond, ready to tell your Dad just how much you loved him, when someone crashed through the door, slamming into the counter you were standing behind. You turned, eyes connecting with your (late) colleague. He looked utterly windswept, as if he’d run – or been chased – the whole way there. 

“You okay, son?” your Dad asked, worry shifting from you to the panting, bent-over Sirius. 

“Me? Oh– peachy, just– peachy,” he answered between heavy breaths, waving off his doting hands. “Sorry I’m late, got a little carried away with something and lost track of time.”

You were conscious of how your Dad didn’t offer Sirius the same advice, to not pick a fight or argue or whatever it was the two of you did, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how he had everyone charmed.

So you busied yourself behind the till, doing as you were instructed and counting the money, writing down the number of each of the bills on a notepad you pulled from the drawer at your waist. 

Your Dad left soon after, turning the closed sign out front to open as he wished you, and Sirius, good luck. 

“Guess it’s just the two of us, little Potter,” Sirius pointed out, already sounding bored as he fell into a stool at your side. He leaned his head against his arm, stretching it from side to side as he groaned at his tense muscles.

You didn’t mean to stare, swore it wasn’t something you’d let become a habit, but your gaze immediately travelled to the exposed skin of his neck, zeroing in on the trail of newly-formed purple bruises  down the side.

You snorted, shaking your head at him, slamming the money compartment shut a little too aggressively so that it caught Sirius’ attention. He recognised your expression to be something close to amusement, jabbing you in your side until you were scowling and slapping his fingers away.

“What’s wrong with you– you’re acting like a fucking child,” you admonished, moving out of reach and resting a hand on your hip. 

“Why’d you make that face?” he asked instead of answering your question, nodding at you like it was you who had started it.

“It’s nothing,” you went with, hearing your Father’s words echoing in your mind from just moments ago. You needed to diffuse the situation before you really got mad, because past that point, you weren’t responsible for what you said– or did. 

So you ventured into the aisles of books, a curious Sirius on your heels, following you like a lost, yapping puppy. “If it’s nothing then why are you running away?” he pushed back.

You ignored him pointedly, stopping to stack a few books and dust along the shelves. No one had come in yet, still too early in the morning for any tourists to stumble upon your admittedly quaint but bursting shop. 

The sunlight barely filtered past the dense collection of books and mahogany shelves that lined the walls, but the windows stretched to the tall ceilings, and if you went up the spiralling staircase at the centre of the store, you’d find yourself in a cosy loft space, bathed in gold and stuffed with arm chairs and sofas for people to sit and read in. 

It was your favourite part of the store, and you were seriously debating hiding up there on your first day, just to get away from the walking-plague that followed you. 

“Come on– tell me,” he whined, standing too close for your liking. You side-stepped away, brushing a cloth against the worn covers of the Mystery section. He followed suit, returning to his previous position, and this time, you had no way out with the wall of books you’d met. 

You turned, facing him and finally acknowledged his presence. “You lied,” you stated matter-of-factly, loving that you actually had the upper-hand with him. As much as you prided yourself with being quick-witted, Sirius always seemed to find a way to stay on-top.

“Gonna have to give me something more than that, darling. Lied about what?” he countered, raising an eyebrow at you. 

You bristled at the endermeant but continued nonetheless.,

“You weren't busy. You were screwing some girl according to the bruises on your neck,” you stared pointedly at the affected area now, though it was covered by his hair in this position. His hand flew to his neck, as if hoping to shield them from your gaze.

“That’s none of your business Potter,” he countered, irritated. 

“It actually is my business when you’re both late to your job and lying to my Father,” you threw back, shoving forward and relishing in his slight stumble back– as if he hadn’t yet noticed the two of you were so so close. 

“You can’t–” his eyes were wide, worried, as he grabbed your elbow, forcing you to meet his gaze, “You can’t tell him. He’ll be so disappointed and I can’t–”

You frowned at the look of genuine distress written so plainly across of his face. If you two were anyone else, you might've let it go.

Might've--

“Well tough shit, Sirius. You’re an adult, now. This is the real world we’re talking about and not whatever fantasy you've been frolicking about these past two years." You were fuming, unnecessarily so, but both of you knew this was fight had been years in the making.

"I understand you lack the ability to form real, genuine connections but come on, Sirius. You're not a fucking teenager. Grow a pair and take some responsibility for once in your life!"

And really, you deserved it, now that you thought back. His anger was reasonable but your need to poke straight through his ribcage, wrap your fist around his heart and squeeze tight, was not. 

“Fuck you, Potter.” he bit out. “Just because you're not getting any doesn't mean the rest of us have to be equally as miserable."

It was already going to shit, Sirius was well aware of it, but he couldn't get himself to stop. To just shut up.

“Maybe if you weren’t so fucking uptight all the time someone might actually give it to you too," his voice now barely above a whisper with his anger deflated as he stared, pained, at your reaction.

And it didn’t take long for you to react -- for your hand to fly up and connect with his cheek, hard. You hadn't done anything two years ago but he thinks he saw you consider it. So the fact that you had finally, struck across the face, spoke to how different things really were. How different you were.

"Potter, I--" and he was speechless when he really shouldn't have been. He swallowed, trying again. “I’m sorry,” he whispered then, fighting the urge to look away from your glassy stare. “I’m sorry, Potter. You know I don’t mean it.”

What you hated most was that you did know. You knew you both brought out the worst in each other. Only, you could never figure out why that was. Why you wanted to hurl insults at him for every comment or look or the stupid way he’d string together the most perfect sentence and his irritating eyes and mouth and–

“Excuse me? Is anyone here?” 

You inhaled, all sudden, as if only just realising what you had done. You brushed past him without a word, needing, more than ever, to put some space between the two of you. If not for your anger then for whatever pesky emotion was seeping through your cracks.

You were (reluctantly) pulled from wherever your thoughts had been racing to as you called into the store, “Just one moment!”

Sirius debated if this was a sign for him to get back onto a train to anywhere you were not. It didn’t matter if he had no money or nowhere to be, but if it meant he could avoid maiming you with his words, he couldn’t quite see a way out of his predicament. 

“Sirius!” you shouted again, no longer faking your emotions but rather genuinely just exasperated by him once more. 

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” He managed to not get lost in the labyrinth of books, and found you by the travel section, chatting good-naturedly with a blonde in a tight dress.

“How can I help, doll?” he asked the blonde in question. His one tactic for almost every conundrum he’d ended up in was avoidance. And bloody hell was he good at it. 

He smiled at her, the customer, doing little to hide his admiration for the legs she had on display. She flushed a pretty pink, averting her gaze, lip between her teeth. Bingo! 

“Christ, you’re disgusting,” you muttered, mouth pouting and quiet enough that only he could hear.

“Only for you, sweetheart, only for you,” he bit back, not wanting the currently oblivious customer clue in on their conversation. “So, how can I help?”

“She needs that book–” you pointed to the top shelf, well out of reach. “--the green spine that says Amsterdam, but I can’t reach it and the step ladder is too heavy.”

“Alas! Only ever needed for my body, it seems,” he moaned with an irritating amount of flourish. 

“Whatever it takes to get the book down– do what you must, Black.” You patted his chest reassuringly, taking your spot, once again, behind the cash register.  

“So– planning a trip are you?” Sirius asked in between excessive displays of strength as he hauled the bulky ladder with a single hand. You glared at the girl as she swooned at him, wanting, rather unreasonably, for her to combust right where she stood.

But that was a ridiculous thought to begin with. You could barely stand to be even within a metre’s distance of the guy, let alone on the receiving end of his affections. You were tired, emotional and dehydrated. Must be. Though a glance at the clock had you realising it had barely been an hour since your day had started. 

So, maybe just emotional and dehydrated. 

“I’m going to get a coffee from across the street,” you announced, slugging your tote bag onto your shoulder as you walked past the preoccupied pair. Not waiting for a response, you stepped out into the early morning sun, frowning, for once, at the glare in your eyes and not the irritant you’d left behind. 

It was easier to refer to him as something pesky, infectious, fungus-like even, rather than the only person who knew how to break your heart (and despite your somewhat impenetrable facade, you let him do just that every time).

please please PLEASE reblog & leave some feedback <3 i'll boop you if you do x

[gingiesworld]

Lie About Us

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings : Angst then fluff

Wanda Maximoff was the popular girl in high school, while Y/N was a nobody, the schools outcast. It wasn't until senior year that the two had started to date secretly. Then the two also went to the same college. Y/N thought that things were going great, no hiding their relationship until the two were invited to a college party.

"Wanda! It's so good to see you." Nat squealed as she noticed the brunette.

"Nat!" Wanda ran up to her and the two hugged tightly. "I thought you went to UCLA?"

"I do. I'm just visiting my sister." She told her as the two pulled away. "Are you still single?"

"Yes." Wanda answered as Y/N's jaw clenched as they stood nearby.

"Well, a friend of mine is here visiting his cousin." She started as the two listened. "His name is Jarvis, the two of you will hit it off."

"Uh." Wanda stalled as Nat grabbed her hand.

"Come on. He's here and I've told him all about you." With that, she dragged her to her new friend as Y/N watched from the corner. Watching as the two talked, how she laughed with him, the blush on his cheeks when her hand landed on his chest. They finished their drink and decided to leave. Sending Wanda a quick text to see if she would even read it.

At the end of the party, Wanda looked everywhere for Y/N before she looked at her phone. She sighed when she noticed the time they had left the party. Heading straight to their dorm.

"Y/N?" She knocked on their door rapidly, seeing as they opened the door with tired eyes. "I'm so sorry." She started as they shook their head.

"Don't worry about it." They said with a fake smile. "It's not like we're public or anything. Oh wait, that was high school." They tried to close the door but Wanda was quick enough to squeeze in. "I want to go to sleep Wanda."

Wanda flinched at the use of her name. She knew that she had upset them.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I don't know why I acted like that." She said as they chuckled.

"It's because you're still embarrassed by me." They told her. "You don't want your old high school friends to know that you are with the school's outcast. The loner. The weirdo."

"That's not." Wanda tried as Y/N interrupted her.

"That's exactly what it is!" They sighed as they squeezed their eyes shut. "I thought we were passed the whole lying about us. It is college, the cliquès and groups that we were in in high school shouldn't matter, but they still do to you."

"They don't." Wanda told them.

"Yeah they do, otherwise you wouldn't have said you were single." They told her. "I can't do it anymore."

"Please don't do this." She cried as Y/N shook their head.

"Wanda, I love you but I can't just love you in secret. I want to be able to tell everyone how much I love you." They had a tear fall from their eye as they wiped Wanda's. "You should go."

"No." She shook her head. "I am staying and we are working this out."

"There's nothing to work out Wanda." They told her softly. "We had a good run but I guess it just wasn't meant to be."

"Please." She cried as they just turned away, heading towards their bathroom. "Please Y/N. Don't do this. Please."

With the silence she was recieving, she decided to leave. Give them their space. She knew one thing for sure was that she would do anything she can to get them back. She will prove to them that she is in this for the long haul.

As the days went by, Y/N avoided Wanda as much as possible. That was until they had gotten invited to another party. Being told by their friends that they need to lighten up, they decided to join them. Not realising that Wanda's old friends were still visiting New York.

Wanda's eyes found Y/N across the room, listening to their friends talk as they nursed their red solo cup. Her heart ached for them. Y/N's eyes caught sight of Jarvis putting his arm over her shoulder, but they didn't see when Wanda moved it from her.

"I thought we were having a good time Wanda." Jarvis questioned.

"We are." She spoke bluntly.

"Then why won't you let me show you any affection. Our friends are going to think I am a laughing stock for not keeping a woman happy." He told her as she laughed.

"You think we're together?" She asked him as he nodded. The question caught the attention of all of her friends. "We're not together. We're not dating. I will never date you."

"Why?" He asked her.

"I am in love with someone else, I have been since high school." She told them. "Actually, we dated in our senior year and came to college together." Her voice was now getting louder than the music. "But I was too fucking stupid to fucking hide what we had because I was in the popular crowd and they weren't."

"Who was it?" Carol asked her.

"Y/N Y/L/N!" She yelled. "I am in love with Y/N Y/L/N and I am so stupid because of my insecurity, I lost them."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Nat nodded her head behind her.

"Do you mean it?" They asked her when she turned around around.

"Every word." She told them. "I don't want to lie about us. Not anymore. I want to show off what we have." With that Y/N lunged forward and pressed their lips to hers, their hands cupping her cheeks while she held their wrists. "I love you Y/N and I am sorry. So fucking sorry." She whispered as they wiped her eyes.

"I love you Wanda." They smiled before pressing a kiss to her lips. "Let's get out of here." Wanda nodded without looking back at her friends. She didn't care what they had to think about her relationship with Y/N.

"Is it me or did they have some kind of glow up." Nat asked as Carol and Maria nodded ij agreement.

When the two had reached Y/N's dorm, Wanda sat on the bed watching Y/N's every move. The two kicking off their shoes and getting into some comfy clothes.

"Will you hold me?" Wanda asked, vulnerability laced her tone.

"Always." Y/N lay on their back, opening their arms for Wanda who didn't waste a second in jumping into their arms. "I'm sorry if I pressured you." They whispered as she moved to hover above them.

"You never pressured me." She told them. "You helped me see my errors and I never want to lie about us again."

Y/N kissed her softly before the two decided to cuddle, Wanda was content as she inhaled their scent, feeling their warmth. Never wanting to go a day without it.

[neyswxrld]

brighter than a shooting star

Wrecker x fem!reader

summary: While period cramps almost destroy a wonderful evening, Wrecker has a great idea to make it perfect instead.

warnings/vibe: period & cramps, reader has hair (it's mentioned that it's brushed in a sentence), softness, sweetness and some kisses on the cheek for wrecker!

words: ~1410

a/n: hello everyone! i was like, preparing myself for having my period. at the same time i was super sad that no one went to watch the perseids with me. sooo this is the outcome of that situation. also, this of course fits perfectly with the stargazing and the "you really think you're going without me? not going to happen." prompts of @summer-of-bad-batch. i hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

Tonight is a special night.

You've heard it all over the news: There will be shooting stars all over the night sky!

The last time you've seen some of them was several years ago, but you remember it as clearly as it was just yesterday: You and your best friend at that time, sitting in your garden. Blankets around you, keeping you warm from the cold night. You're joking around and talking, while looking up into the sky. And then, here and there, you see some bright lines across the sky.

It was such a beautiful event, and every time you think back to it, you just think about how lovely it was.

It was the first and last time you saw any shooting stars.

Until today.

Tonight is a community night on Pabu, and a few villagers and you decided to settle down at the beach and look at the sky.

Of course, the Batch, and especially Wrecker, are with you.

Since the execution of Order 66 you are practically inseparable. You went through thick and thin: lost Crosshair, met Cid, fought against Cross, made friends, thought you lost Tech, lost Omega, got Tech back, got Crosshair and Omega back, lost Omega another time, and then, finally, got her back for the final last time. And then you settled down on Pabu. Together.

In that time, you also grew closer with Wrecker. Much closer.

So close, that you finally confessed your feelings to him, and he returned them. Still does.

So close, that you indeed are together now, even some years after the fall of Tantiss.

And you love each other like it's the first day.

Surrounded by your loved ones, under the sea of stars, in Wrecker's warm and loving arms, waiting for the shooting stars, it should be the perfect evening.

You've been excited about this day for weeks.

But it just isn't.

You can't believe that a small incident like your period seems to ruin this whole, lovely evening. But it does.

You are uncomfortable, your stomach is aching, you actually feel kind of nauseous and you could run to the toilet every few minutes. Except there isn't a toilet nearby.

In short - you feel horrible and could start crying just at this moment.

"Hey, what's up?" Wrecker asks in this second. Oh, your sweet, attentive boyfriend. Always there when you needed him.

"I don't feel good," you say to him, leaning in a little closer.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asks, but you just shake your head.

"No, it's just my period. I think I need to go home, take a hot shower and just sleep until tomorrow. I think it'll be better then," you whisper, and Wrecker nods.

"Just let me say goodbye to anyone, then we can go, alright?"

"What? No, no worries. I want you to have fun with your brothers tonight," you say, not wanting him to pass out on that.

"You really think you're going without me? Not going to happen," he says playfully and grins at you.

"But I know you were excited about this evening, so you should enjoy it as planned," you try to convince him, but at the same time you're quite relieved that he doesn't want to leave you alone.

"Well, yes! But I was just so excited because you made me excited. I wanted to spend this evening with you, and I still want to," he explains and gets up, taking you with him. You feel like your heart just melts away at his sweet words.

The two of you say goodbye to his brothers and his sister, he packs your small picnic blanket and together you start your slow walk to your shared home.

You put your hand in Wrecker's, start to lean into his side, and put your head onto his shoulder, cumbersome.

"Do you really want to take a nap or would you still like to spend the evening together?" Wrecker asks after some minutes.

There's just the sound of the waves, some animals that are rustling in the bushes, your breathing, and the sound of your steps that echo through the quiet night. You already feel better. It's a lot less input for your exhausted body, and the walking does some good for your abdominal pain.

"If you want to, we can cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie," you suggest and the smile that appears on his face instantly makes you beam back.

"I think I know something better!"

He doesn't elaborate his idea further, but the smug grin that paints his face makes an anticipating, happy shiver run down your spine.

When you finally arrive at home, Wrecker ushers you into the bathroom, and on the way he grabs your pajama, stuffing it into your arms. "I'll come get you, yeah? Don't peek!" he calls after you before stepping out of the room, already making his way downstairs again.

You shake your head and try to make yourself feel better and more comfortable in the bathroom, cleaning your face, brushing your hair and putting on your sleeping clothes.

It takes some time in which you hear him stumbling and rumbling around downstairs. Oh dear, you hoped he wouldn't organize a big chaos down there. But then he finally comes back and knocks on the door.

"Are you ready?" he asks and you can hear his smile through the door.

"Yes!" you say and push down the door handle, revealing Wrecker, also just in his pajama.

"Come with me!" he says and gently takes your hand again, to pull you towards him. 

He guides you through the halls and down the stairs. You expect him to have prepared something in the living room, but it's completely dark inside when you cross it.

But then you take a look outside and you feel how your mouth falls open.

In the trees are small fairy lights, which illuminate the hammock hanging beneath them.

There's a small table pulled up next to said hammock, with bowls with fresh fruit and some not as healthy snacks, and some mugs. You know Wrecker very well, so you're very sure it's hot chocolate.

"Wrecker- What?" you ask, a little overwhelmed by the little cozy corner he created within minutes.

"I know you've been excited about that event. And I hope you're comfortable enough for to still enjoy it like this. Just executed a little... differently," he says, scratching his head a little.

"Oh, Wrecker!" you finally gasp and lay your arms around him, pulling him down to you.

"You're so sweet, Wrecker. You have no idea how much this means to me, thank you so much!" you whisper and kiss his cheek a few times. His scars are a little uneven under your lips, but so, so familiar.

Wrecker laughs and puts his arms around your hips, pulling you against him. "Aww, Mesh'la. Of course!" he exclaims and you feel like loving him just a little more.

The leads you over to the hammock and takes place. There are some soft pillows and even softer blankets, and he wraps one around himself. Then he pulls you onto him and wraps you up just like himself.

He reaches over and carefully grabs one mug to give it to you. You're honestly amazed he doesn't spill anything. When he safely holds his own mug, too, you clink them together, looking into each other's eyes that shine just like the stars above you.

You finally lay down together, his warm body a unique comfort for you. Wrecker turns off the fairy lights, and the stars above you that aren't hid behind the leaves of the tree start to appear in your field of vision.

And suddenly, everything is fine again.

You're here with Wrecker, the love of your life. He's comforting you because sometimes your own body seems to hate you. The stars above you are so pretty, the warm hands around you so loving and assuring, and sometimes that is everything you need to make you feel better.

When you see the first shooting star on this evening, you make a wish for the two of you.

That you will never lose each other.

That you will always be there for each other.

That you will always love each other.

At that moment you feel like it doesn't matter how wonderful the shooting stars are, when the love between you and Wrecker shines even brighter.

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST

@isthereanechoinhere96 @trixie2023 @freesia-writes

[nahoney22]

I loved your “Touch Starved Echo” fic! I was wondering, could you do a role swap where y/n is the one who went to the citedal and all the stuff happened to her, while echo is depressed because he lost his best friend, but when she comes back they realize they have feelings for each other? (Fluff only) That would be great! Have a happy new year!

Give Us Time

Echo X F!Reader

word count:

warnings: friends to lovers, mutual pining, there is slight angst, with what happened at the citadel that happens to echo happens reader, mentions of prosthesis. fluff and comfort.

Authors note: The fact this request says Happy New Year shows that I’m slacking☹️ sorry for the wait anon 💜

Time had lost all meaning for Echo since the day he lost you. Or so he believed.

The memories of that fateful mission still reverberated in his mind, leaving him dazed and bewildered. Now, here he sat, across the vast expanse of the ship, his eyes fixed upon you with a mixture of disbelief and trepidation. He feared you were nothing more than a figment of his tortured imagination. But no, you were real.

So long he had felt his heart tighten at the mention of your name, the thought of your face and the memories of old times. He had loved you for many years and the only time he grew up the courage to confess, you were taken away in an explosion at the citadel. One, he believed, was meant for him.

Your valor was unparalleled, but a part of him harbored a dark wish—it should have been him instead of you. Yet now, against all odds, you have returned. Though, you were vastly different.

“How’s she holding up?” Hunter's voice broke Echo out of his trance on you, making him turn to face his new comrade.

“I don’t know… can’t be good given what's happened to her.” Echo sighed, rubbing the back of his head with his hand as he tried to swallow his anger of what the Techno Union had done to you.

Hunter senses his hurt but doesn’t address it. It was clear as day what Echo was thinking and feeling.

Instead, he patted his shoulder and gave a subtle nod as if to say ‘welcome to the team’. Because after all, how could he let you slip away again? Clone Force 99 gave you the option to come with them as you felt like you didn’t belong. And albeit, Echo didn’t think he belonged anywhere else if it wasn’t with you.

After allowing you some time to settle in, he musters the courage to approach. The hours had passed, the air heavy with unspoken emotions.

“Settling in alright?” He asks, looking around at your discarded belongings.

"I suppose," you reply, your voice barely a whisper, devoid of strength. You can't bring yourself to even meet his gaze - even after so long. The weight of your transformation truly crushed your spirit.

Echo stands motionless, his hands restlessly strumming along the sides of his body, desperately searching for something, anything to say. Yet, his eyes are drawn back to you, unable to tear away.

You can feel the searing intensity of his stare, from the crown of your head down to your cybernetic limbs. "Stop," you command abruptly, your voice laced with anguish.

Startled by your sudden outburst, Echo tries to maintain a facade of nonchalance. "Stop what?"

“Staring at my disgusting body like that.” you mutter through clenched teeth, the burning sensation in the back of your throat intensifying as you struggle to hold back tears.

Echo's heart aches, and he instinctively moves closer to you, but his heart shatters as he watches you swiftly retreat, your back pressed against the wall, seeking refuge beneath the blanket Wrecker had found for you. "C-Cyare, I didn't..." He stammers, desperately searching for the right words, but his mind fails him. What could he possibly say? You had endured years of torment, and you no longer resembled the girl he once knew. Yet, he still found you breathtakingly beautiful, even in your altered state. Whether or not you needed to hear that at this moment, he was uncertain.

Unaware of what to do next, Echo begins to retreat, intending to grant you more time to adjust. However, at the sound of his fading footsteps, you suddenly pull back the covers, sitting up abruptly. "Wait!"

He stops in his tracks, turning toward you, his eyes capturing the plea that emanates from yours. "Don't go."

Slowly he walks back to you, and that's when you make room on your cot, gesturing for him to sit beside you. "I'm sorry, Echo," you sigh dejectedly, guilt eating away at you for snapping at him. "I didn't mean to be rude."

"You weren't," he shakes his head, offering reassurance through his words. "You... you've been through so much. I can't expect you to be in a chatty mood."

A soft laugh escapes your lips, though your gaze still struggles to meet his. Yet, one thing remains constant—his unwavering gaze fixed upon you. He does not want to look away.

"I never thought I'd see you again," he says after a brief silence, his voice tinged with sorrow.

"And I never thought I'd be granted a second chance at life," you attempt to jest, but the levity falls flat as your eyes fall upon the cybernetic appendage on your arm, a wave of nausea washing over you.

Echo senses the disdain in your eyes as you look upon your own reflection. With courage, he cups your cheek, eliciting a gasp from your lips. The sensation of warmth against your skin feels foreign now, as he cradles your hollowed cheek and gently guides your face to meet his gaze. "I’m happy that you are here," he confesses, his voice genuine.

"But not like this," you whisper, the weight of your altered appearance leaving you feeling stripped of your beauty. If you couldn’t bare to look at yourself, how could he?

"Yes, like this," he murmurs in response, inching closer to you, his presence like a comforting balm. "It will be challenging for you to adapt, but it's still you. Still the funny, selfless person I've always known and..."

"And what?" you interject swiftly, a glimmer of hope sparking within you, yearning for him to express something you had longed to hear even before the accident.

"Beautiful," he breathes, his voice trembling, as his other hand tenderly cradles the opposite side of your face. "Absolutely beautiful."

The words hang in the air, saturated with vulnerability and undeniable truth. In that moment, you can't help but feel a flicker of warmth in your heart, a fragile ember reigniting the flame of self-acceptance that had been frozen in those chambers.

A shiver courses through you as his touch lingers, and in a moment of nervous anticipation, you idly moisten your lips—a subtle gesture that does not escape his notice. His gaze flickers from your lips back to your eyes, a silent exchange of unspoken desires on his behalf.

"Why have you joined this unit with me?" you inquire, gesturing to the ship with your voice filled with an urgent need for the truth. "You belong with the 501st... not here."

He sighs softly, comprehending the weight of your words. However, there is something crucial that he must tell you, something that has been weighing heavily on his heart for a long while. "After losing Fives and you, I believed I had no one left," he begins, his voice carrying a mixture of sadness and longing. "Even though I have Rex, Jesse, Kix... But when I discovered that you were alive, I realised I couldn't go another day without setting my eyes upon you again."

Your eyes widen, anticipation intertwining with a glimmer of hope. "What are you saying?"

"I love you," he speaks plainly, his tone serious and resolute. "I love you more than anything in this galaxy. You are my everything, and when you died, a part of me did too. I cannot exist without you."

His words wash over you like a gust of wind, weighty and powerful. Your eyes search his, seeking sincerity in his gaze, and before you can even contemplate the consequences, you lean into him, your lips colliding with his after an agonisingly prolonged separation.

A soft hum of surprise escapes him, but he wastes no time in reciprocating the kiss with fervor. His hand glides along your waist, drawing you intimately against his body, as if he never wants to let go. "I will be by your side," he murmurs, his words mingling with the heat of his breath against your lips. "Every step of the way."

"I love you, Echo," you whisper, your voice filled with a profound sincerity that resonates in the air. Your heart brims with affection, the weight of your emotions finally unleashed. “I wish I told you sooner.”

Your hands find their way into his hair, fingers delicately entangling in the soft strands that you had longed to touch for what felt like an eternity. Despite the apprehension that lingers within you and your altered body, you know deep down that Echo will continue to love you regardless.

Masterlist

More Echo Works

Tags: @s1st3r @by-the-primes @the-bad-batch-baroness @photogirl894 @fantasyproductions @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder @erellenora @mysticalgalaxysalad @the-good-shittt @imalovernotahater @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @seriowan @agenteliix @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @nunanuggets @andyoufollowyourheart @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @jesseeka @ashotofspotchka @oohyesplease @megafrost4 @theroguesully @mustluvecho @ladykatakuri @jambolska-grozdova @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @rain-on-kamino @either-madness-or-brilliance @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet t @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @kixs-husband @pb-jellybeans

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 42

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

The Wrath of Kzhan by Oh_Contrary

A mission goes terribly wrong when Lance and Pidge are betrayed by their would-be allies. Now Pidge is injured and it's up to Lance to get her to safety-- But can he do so in time to save her? And even if he does, who's going to save him?

pidge & lance fic? ft. bamf protective lance? focus on platonic/sibling love? i got u guys. hard angst with a lot of fear but heavy fluff and comfort at the end, and a very interesting and intentional plot!

2. Lion Heart by ErinWantsToWrite

Lance can't remember. He doesn't know where he is, why he's on this strange planet- yeah a planet that isn't earth- he's just fourteen! Why was he here? Where was his mom? His big sister? Why was this giant, mechanical, blue lion comforting him? Why were these people talking to him through a helmet, even if he couldn't answer? How does he get out of this suit-Who are those purple dudes outside of the lion?

i will always always ALWAYS have the softest of soft spots for de-aged lance. its gotta be one of the top three plot devices fr. oh? lance doesnt know how to be his true self around his team? and his team doesnt know how to understand him yet? here is an easy and fun to read solution 😊

3. Hide and Seek by @zipadeea

“We can’t say blue, I’m already blue. It would just get confusing.” “You go out of your way to make our lives confusing, Lance.” “Memes save lives, Keith. That’s all you need to know.” The story of how Voltron got its official Code Blue for medical emergencies. And the five times the paladins use it.

this fic is pretty evenly centered around all the team, but shiro lovers im calling u rn. the last scene with keith and lance and shiro actually made me want to curl up and sob in the best possible way i thought it about it for days after

4. Up the river by @zipadeea

Lance falls in a river on a strange planet, and gets stranded up the river with an even stranger kid. He's getting pretty tired of waiting for his friends to come rescue him, before realizing, maybe this time, he's going to have to figure out a way to save himself.

i need yall to undestand how batshit feral this fic made me. im always a little bit obsessed with religious imagery, thats just how things are, but this one just had it everywhere and so seamlessly?? in fact i think i actually went insane about this fic before in a separate post, i cant remember when, i just know that ive read this fic a stupid amount of times and i have specific lines memorised and i think about it all the time

5. Take It In, Feel It All and Hold It by @bleusarcellewrites

“Do you wanna try it out, Lance?” Lance blinks at him, eyes narrowed in confusion and making the adult to chuckle. “Dancing, son. Do you wanna dance with me?” “I dunno how, papa.” The five years-old bites his lower lip unsure, looking up at his dad nervously but the adult just smiles softly at his son and holds out both of his hands towards the child. “It’s okay, son,” he comforts gently, “Just take my hands, I got you.” [Small moments that made Lance realize how much he loves dancing with the people he loves]

okay i know a good chunk of you are new so im gonna give u a lil chunk of information, from a voltron elder (my old ass). bleusarcelle was at one point the reigning goddamn monarch of the klance fic world like well and truly. the most iconic and well loved domestic klance fics have ALL come from bleusarcelle i swear to god. and this fic? this particular one? this one is absolutely THEE most parent klance fic of all time. read this and have ur cheeks ache with your smile

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[silvercap]

HHNGG there's so many good ones for the whump drabble challenge!! Hmm okay, what about 87. Overworked! <3

<33

Also this isn't going to be 100 words gahhshds I'm only partly doing the challenge 😭

Overworked

Leon's head is pounding, the overhead lights blaring painfully into the back of his eyes as he sips at his coffee and tries to force himself to focus on the mission report he's typing up. It's been a long day--the report is due 48 hours after extraction, no exceptions--and an even longer month, a slew of punishing missions leaving him sore and exhausted. The only reason he's not still out in the field are the cracks in his ribs, but it's far from the only injury he's sustained in the past week. Advil can't take away the ache of his recently-dislocated shoulder, tied up in a sling because he can't even move it without getting nauseous, nor can it dull the throbbing lines of stitches holding claw marks closed on his back.

It takes him a long time to finish and hit the print button, frustration and a yawning emptiness making it difficult to care whether or not it even makes sense. His head throbs as Leon rises to his feet, stepping out into the office to pick up from the printer--only for Hunnigan to step into his space the moment he's outside, looking just as tired as he is.

"Can you sign these project forms for R&D? They need them for Monday, but it would be best if you could get them done ASAP. Did you finish your report?" She hands him a new stack of papers, all tiny print and official jargon that will no doubt strain his already blurry eyesight until he can barely see straight. That's how it always goes.

"Yes." Leon tries not to get irritated, and fails. His head throbs sharply. He grits his teeth when she continues.

"Good. I also need you to look over updated SOP before my supervisor gets after me for it, and I've emailed you an old report from last year that was apparently missing a few details." She sighs. "You forgot to date it properly, again. Director wants a rewrite."

"What?" Leon frowns, struggling to control his tone. There's something filling the back of his throat with acid, headache jamming fresh spikes into his skull. "That's--I still have to go over that report from Wisconsin. I won't have time today."

"I know, but they want this done yesterday, and there's only so much that I can put off. There's a new online training module, too, on the updated office software--"

"Hunnigan, I don't fucking care!"

Leon regrets it the moment it's out, eyes widening as he realizes that his hands have curled into fists, chest heaving and heart thundering under his ribs. Hunnigan just looks stunned, the concern that's already bleeding into her expression putting something desperate and sharp in Leon's throat. The inexplicable urge to cry itches behind his eyes, but he forces it down, aware that his entire body is trembling. Around them, other DSO workers stare.

"I--sorry," Leon stammers, running an anxious hand through his hair. "Just...let me--"

He turns on his heel to dart back into his office, not bothering to close the door since he knows Hunnigan is on his tail anyways. He plants his hands on his desk as she follows him inside and closes the window blinds, glancing up as she shifts closer and wordlessly puts a hand on his back. The wound beneath pangs lightly, and Leon can't hide his flinch.

"I'm sorry," he says raggedly, voice cracking.

"It's okay. Why don't you sit down? You're shaking, Leon." Hunnigan doesn't wait for an answer, nudging him towards his chair until Leon sinks into it gratefully, clutching his skull against the ache. He can't stifle a groan. He feels Hunnigan drape something over his shoulders, and it takes him a moment to crack open his eyes and recognize it as her blazer. She's looking at him, worried.

"I'm fine," he croaks, to which Hunnigan shakes her head.

"No. How bad is it? I haven't had time to coerce medical into giving me your file."

"I'm just tired."

"You're not." Hunnigan shoots him a softer look. "Let me get you some water and I'll call you a taxi. If you're done the report, the rest can wait. I'd rather have you recovering than working yourself to the bone."

"Hunnigan--"

"I won't let you do this to yourself, Leon. They're working you hard for a reason--don't let them win."

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 20

Hi friends!!

Can't believe we're at the 20th week of me doing this rec list! I also hit 400 fics on the Spreadsheet, which is wild. We've got 14 fics this week. It was a bit of an angst fest, but there's plenty of smut and even a few threesomes!

As always you can find the Spreadsheet here and the other Digests here. You can tag me in literally any Pedro boy fic (except RPF) and I'll add it to my TBR! You can also send me fic recs if you want, and even ask me for fic recs. I'll dig through the sheet so you don't have to :)

Fic recs below the Pedge:

Blackmail - a Javi P/Joel series by @milla-frenchy

Javi is the new Fedra officer you have to deal with and he wants something instead of credits to let you and joel go on your supply run... he wants to fuck you! The way it starts with Joel getting cucked and then just.... descends into beautiful smutty depravity. This was so fucking good. I loved how Javi wasn't mean? Idk like the whole experience just sounded good as hell for reader after the initial discomfort of having to fuck someone to get what you want lol.

You need to relax, sweetheart - a Joel/Tess one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

You're Tess and Joel's babysitter and they come home from date night and decide to help you unwind from a stressful night of caring for children... ya know... with their bodies. -- TW dubcon/noncon -- also there's some breeding kink in here and Tess is also pregnant. This fic is so good and twisted and delicious and wonderful byeeeee

Shore Leave a Frankie/Santi one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Ok so you're a bartender and Frankie and Santi come into your bar sometimes on shore leave and they always flirt with you. And then this time they flirt with you and you like actively consider going home with them... and then you um find something out... spoilers sorry.... and decide to go home with both of them. And it is wonderful, sexy, and sweet. I'm gonna need a 30 part loose fit series on these 3 immediately <3

Rendezvous in Reno - a Dieter one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

AHHH okay so erotica writer!reader has a book signing and the subject of her first published erotic short story walks in knowing full well the story was basically fanfic of HIM. Heavy flirting ensues... then he comes to your hotel. This fic??? It's so sweet and fluffy and like... indulgent? It's like eating dessert for breakfast. There's a lovely surprise in relation to Dieter himself, also. I just love his personality in this and I love the sexy intimate smut and I want to die I love Dieter so much.

An Open Invitation - a Joel one shot by @walkintotheriveranddisappear

Joel watches reader and her girlfriend? fuck buddy? whatever. fuck from his window cause girl has got her curtains WIDE open and she is doing it fully on purpose.... anyway some stuff happens and Joel ends up in her house with her and her friend and then he gets used like a sex toy and loves every second of it and I loved every second of this fic. It's perfect. No fucking notes. 10/10.

Aches!Joel - a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

At the time of this rec, there's four parts. This features virgin!reader and a Joel that shows more restraint than I really expected him to be able to. This fic is sweet and the teasing and the will-they-won't-they throughout is so good. It's like edging but you're reading. And then... ya know. Aches!Joel owns my whole heart. fuckin wanting to wait for a soft bed to fuck her PLEASE... whatta man (the bar is in hell, I know, leave me alone).

Linger On - a Joel series by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

So you and Joel broke up 10 years ago and you moved on! You moved away from Austin and you got married and you have a kid and everything is great right? It's not. You're soooo not over Joel Miller. And then!!! Some events happen that put you face to face again and not just like.. briefly or temporarily. I don't want to spoil too much of this fic here in the review... just read it. It's angsty and yummy and I love it. (smutty also, who do you think I am?)

Carnal - a Joel series by @pascalsbby

Another camgirl!reader fic because I literally cannot help myself lmao. This one has the delicious twist of also being dad's best friend!joel AND best friend's dad!Joel... how fucked up is that? The correct amount of fucked up. The dirty talk going on in this fic is literally insane. My body went into fight or flight I was so turned on. And then on top of the crazy freaky yummy sex and like perv!joel and dom!joel and just all that going on... the story itself is really fucking good!!!

A Feeling That Never Came - a Javi P series by @theywhowriteandknowthings

You show up to your birthday/engagement party (i will not elaborate on that) and it's all kind of terrible and then your ex, Javi Peña shows up. Which should be a bad thing. Who wants their ex at their engagement party? You do. I promise you do. Desperately. So like... read this lovely bucket of angst as a bedtime story, cry yourself to sleep, and anxiously await the next part just like me.

It's always been you - a Dieter one shot by @alwaysmicado

Dieter Bravo is not a good boyfriend and after a year you are faced with the brutal reality of that fact. This fic destroyed me emotionally for real. Like the way Dieter is so.... pathetic? The perfect depiction of that push and pull where you can't let yourself fall into him but like all you want is for him to hold you because you're upset? GOD DAMN. Perfect. And then the interlude time period and what happens there and the ending? All so fucking perfect. I would love more of these two. They're broken and sad and it hurt and I can't stop thinking about this fucking fic AH

Light Only Shows You Where the Shadow Are - a Max Phillips one shot by @oonajaeadira

You've got this friend that can't take a fucking hint and won't understand you don't want him like that, but thankfully a handsome and unsettling stranger is there to save the day... several times.... and it's a little weird that he's always there and that you can't quite remember what he looks like when he's gone... and he makes you feel a little off. This is such a wonderfully spooky fic and it really captures Max's vibes while, despite the stalker behavior, somehow being more tolerable than the canon Max. I desperately hope you get the inspo to write a full Max series. It would be delightful

I Know Places - a Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

So you're a bounty and Din catches you and he has to take you all the way from tatooine to coruscant. It's a long trip and due to some mitigating circumstances he can't carbon freeze you as you'll probably die and... dead people don't pay their debts so that just won't do. 3 weeks cooped up in the Crest with a tin can man you don't know and who is carting you off to certain death... surely that couldn't be a love story. Or could it? This fic is so fucking good. I love the story and the smut???????? To die for.

You Shook Me All Night Long - a Joel series by @macfrog

You are Joel Miller's assistant and he's the CEO and he is... handsy. But it's not making you uncomfortable, at all. This starts at the official work party, moves over to a bar, and then keeps going after that. I really loved this. Joel was the perfect amount of rich corporate asshole and possessive sexy man.

Plaited and Braided - an Ezra one shot by @bonezone44

Ez wins a bullwhip and learns to use it on a tree... then he learns to use it on you. This is so delightful. It's a little dark there for a bit, but it's much much sweeter than you'd expect a sadist!Ezra bullwhip fic to be. I would very much love to see more of these two.

-------------------

Here's some art I saw this week

Joel and Ellie by @vickisigh

Din by @gaytedlasso

Frankie and his shifter form by @littledozerdraws (commissioned for SNAFU by @theywhowriteandknowthings)

Pedro by @bonezone44

Pedro as popular raccoon memes by @iamasaddie

Joel Miller Apologist badge by @sin-djarin

---------------------

My Masterlist

My Kofi

----------------------

Happy Reading!

[astarionapologist]

Hello! I was looking for people were wanting write and stumbled across your blog. I was hoping for an established relationship with Astarion and bard!tav. After the graveyard scene where she asks him to listen to a song that she’s written about them and what his love means to her. With the song turning page by sleeping at last in mind.

AHHH oh my god you literally described my tav! On another note however this request is so adorable ohmygods.

Our new chapter

Astarion x fem bard!tav

Word count: 1.7k

Spoilers for act 3 graveyard scene!

Song:

As you collapse onto the soft sleeping bag in front of you, your body aches and your armor clings to your sweaty skin. You can't help but think back to the battle that ended not too long ago, still panting from the exertion.

Memories of having to see the love of your life struggle after killing his abuser of over 200 years flood in. How heartbreaking the scene painted in your mind was as you envisioned the pale elf sobbing out all the pain and misery that intoxicated a part of his heart for all these years. How his tears were a mix of anger and grief as he mourned the man he was before knowing Cazador.

You gave him some time to collect himself, and then you appeared behind him, taking off your cloak to wrap it around the upper half of his body. He was surprised by your sudden movements, and he looked up at you, his eyes heavy with torment and anguish. However, after a few seconds of keeping each other's gaze, his eyes grew softer. His wet, dewy eyes pierced into your heart as you dropped to your knees to hug him. He sniffled as he nestled his head on top of your shoulder and continued to release his agony, but this time his heart didn't feel as empty. In fact, it slowly began to fill with hope, and he imagined his newfound freedom with you by his side.

You snap back to the present as you hear the sound of your tent unzipping. Astarion's figure appears behind the thin sheet of your tent. You had left him alone to gather himself and bathe after the day's events. You half expected him to be already asleep by now, considering how tired his eyes look.

“Hello my love…” he says with a small pause

“There’s… something i’d like to show you if that's alright with you.”

Without hesitating you stood up swiftly.

“I would be happy to follow you. Please show me where you need me to go," you say with a hint of urgency. Your ultimate goal has always been to nurture and care for Astarion, which is why it took him so long to warm up to you. He was confused as to why someone so sweet and pure would want to be with someone as ill-minded and tainted as he is. However, after the events of moonrise, your relationship has greatly improved and flourished. Astarion has grown so attached to you that he now savors every second he spends with you.

A shocked expression fills his face only for a few seconds then changes into a small smirk.

“My dear don’t hurt yourself.” He says as he lets out a small laugh. “It’s not far from here so don’t worry, we won’t be out too long”

You gaze at him and give a nod as you both proceed to walk down a path outside the camp. The path eventually leads you to a cemetery. He stops in front of a small grave which is overgrown with thick and lush vines. He bends down slowly and carefully removes each vine off the sad-looking tomb.

“It’s been… 200 years since I’ve been here… 200 years since I’ve escaped this wretched grave.”

He begins to explain how he escaped his own grave and how he had to dig and claw his way viciously out of six feet of dirt. In the end, after all that fighting, he was met with the piercing eyes of Cazador himself who stood waiting for his new spawn.

“For all those years… I was his…” he says with disgusted scowl on his face

“He didn’t have the right to take you, you were never his in the first place… you never deserved this!” You say with anger on the tip of your tongue

He hums, "Maybe. But in the end, he took everything from me. There's nothing left of my old self, only fuzzy memories and an old rock with my name on it."

“For 2 centuries I was a monster… a ghost out on the streets looking for a new soul to fetch for Cazador… I was a shell….a husk of the person I was before”

Just as you were to say something he cuts you off

“But….. now I’m free…. Now I have to figure out who I am and what I want now.” He says with a small smile on his face as he turns towards you.

“And what exactly do you want?” You ask with another smile forming only this time it’s on your lips

“isn’t it obvious… I want you. Only you. I’ve only ever needed you.”

“You were by my side through.. well everything. You sided with me, protected me, cared for me and gave me a sense of comfort I’ve never felt before.”

"Hells. You trusted me too? Which was a terrible idea." He says while laughing at you.

You roll your eyes at his snarky little comment. “My apologies for falling head over heels for you” You say with a small sigh towards the end

“Apology accepted, falling in love is like falling through all the layers of the hells.” He quipped while dramatically putting a hand on his chest

“But seriously, I do love you. You know that, right? I love the person I am around you, and I'm so happy I get to stand by your side. Having the choice to be with you gives me hope that I deserve more in life. Being with you makes me feel a tad bit selfish. It makes me believe I deserve to be happy despite my past.”

” Thats because you do deserve to be happy… you do deserve to feel loved…” you say

“I’m glad you believe so.” He says looking at the tomb “ I think I’m beginning to believe that too…”

He clears his throat “Anywho I think so should fix this.” He bends down knife in hand as he changes the date on the tomb in front of him.

He stays down on his knees looking at the fresh markings in front of him.

You pick a flower away from the graves that caught your eye as it glistened in the moonlight. You picked the beautiful white tulip and carefully placed it on his grave.

“How cute” he dotes on your action a bit before turning to face you as you sit down next to him.

“I've been dead for long enough. It's about time I finally started to live for myself.”

“My dear, do you have any ideas on what we should do next?”

“well…” you say biting the bottom of your lip. “You don't have to but I have something planned for you… I've been working on it for a couple weeks now but I've been a bit too timid to show you. That is of course until now…. If you agree to it of course” you say looking at the ground in front of you.

“My my my… a gift for me? I’m assuming it’s another one of those beautiful ballads of yours” He carefully holds your face forcing you to look back at him. “I’d be honored to hear that captivating voice of yours darling” He coos quietly.

“It is.. specifically about us.. about my love for you about how I feel for you.”

His heart skips “ Very well then… let’s see what you have…” he blushes a bit while looking away then Turing his head to look back at you.

You pull out your spider lyre, a gift from Astarion. He found it during one of your adventures together and decided to gift it to the most beautiful and talented bard he knows.

You lick your lips timidly and clear your throat. Your hand gently strums across the lyre releasing a beautiful cadence with every strum.

a chill when up his spine as soon as you begin to sing

“I’ve waited a hundred years..

But I’d wait a million more for you”

His heart began to beat so fast it felt almost frozen in place.

” Nothing prepared me for… the privilege of being yours would do”

Gods you’ve barely started and he already want nothing more than to have you hold him already as he cries with appreciation.

As you continue to sing his eyes fill with adoration as he leans in so focused on your voice and on those beautiful plush lips of yours.

"If I had only felt the warmth within your touch

If I had only seen how you smile when you blush

Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough

Well I would have known

What I was living for all along

What I've been living for”

You softly sing while looking into his eyes. You use the tadpol to allow him to enter your mind… to allow him to feel how you’ve been feeling this whole time. He feels nothing but admiration… nothing but love for him. He feels like he’s floating… he feels so pure. So at peace. Gods is this how you’ve felt around him? Tears being to spill from his eyes. How could anyone feels so at peace with him…? How is he at the center of each of these pure and sweet emotions.

“Your love is my turning page… where only the sweetest words remain”

He lets to finish you song before he quickly grabs and wraps his arms around you crying. You gently rub his back in return which gives him a deep sense of reassurance. Yes he’s felt your emotions just now but your soft gentle touches are more than enough to calm his soul from almost anything.

His puffy red eyes meet yours “you really meant all that…. You really do love me…. I- thank you”’

You carefully cup his face kissing his forehead softly before he pulls you by the shoulders for a deep yet gentle kiss. He stops looks you in the eyes and whispers in your ear

“I never thought a love so pure could exist in this cruel heartless world…. Thank you for providing me wrong again… thank you for showing me what it’s like to be cared for….”

You place a gentle kiss underneath his eye, “It was my pleasure… now then, let’s head back yeah? We should rest while we can tomorrow will be a busy day… and you’re more than welcome to stay in my tent again if you’d like.” You rub the back of your neck after saying that last part.

He gives you another kiss however this one is a small peck “It would be my pleasure…”

Holy shit I hope this isn’t ass when I post it LMAO but still I hope you guys like it!

Ps if you see any mistakes on here no you didn't <3

[killerlookz]

writing prompts / and or titles except they're just lyrics from songs i like

not really a sincere prompt list and honestly more for my own keeping, but hey if anyone wants to take them go right ahead! songs linked for spotify ^_^

Angst/Hurt:

i know someday you'll have a beautiful life, i know you'll be a star in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine? black- pearl jam

"day by day, i'm slowly replaced in your picture frames, a brand new face on your pillowcase." white noise- pvris

"since i've been gone, i hear you've been crying, you cry a thousand tears, darling don't despair" blood and tears- danzig

"i'm different with you, you're better than what im used to." mumble- whirr

"i get on the train and i just stand about now that i don't think of you." black star- radiohead

"let me go you can't hold on to ghosts." girls just want to have fun- bladee

"don't sink in me with your dog teeth." god's country- ethel cain

"see you're just wasted and thinking about the past again, darling you'll be okay." hold on 'til may- pierce the veil

"i've got his ache inside my heart, i know that it's you, what should i do now that i know that we're doomed?" ghost- sky ferreria

"my dear take what you want from me, i'll give you anything, just don't leave me on my own." my dear- new years day

"she's got a boyfriend anyway." sex- the 1975

"i guess i needed you more than i thought, but you don't think i'll feel it too." are you in the mood?- bay faction

Fluff/Comfort

"can you leave me breathless? make me wonder why i ache for your love?" sunspot- dottie

"in a moment nothing's wrong, no stress no worries, i'd stay forever if i could." i'd stay forever- whither

"good men die too, so i'd rather be with you." crush- ethel cain

"you can do no wrong, in my eyes." hearing damage- thom yorke

"everything is doomed, and nothing will be spared, but i love you, honeybear." i love you, honeybear- father john misty

"the end is unknown but i think i'm ready as long as you're with me, being as in love with you as i am." angels- the xx

"if you follow me, i will follow you to the unknown." apollo 13- the tears

"anything to make you smile, it is the better side of me to admire." no one's gonna love you- band of horses

"you'll always be my favorite obsession, i'm so sorry for confessing and i don't want to wait cause you know i feel the same." my obsession- pale waves

"at night i pray to god you're good to me, i want your bliss on bliss, a little company." bliss- yung lean

"on and on, like you were my first love, we could just runaway- not tell anybody." striptease- car wash

Smut

"why don't you show me the little bit of spine you've been saving for his mattress?i only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me." dance, dance- fall out boy

"go on give me one more taste, can't tell you how much i love the strain." show me the real you- moodring

"her lipstick stays like acid rain, resolving away my sense of restraint." wasp- motionless in white

"now to calm me, take me around again, don't pull over, this time won't you please drive faster." passenger- deftones

"not really into kisses leading into nothing." kiss land- the weeknd

"baby if it feels good, then it can't be bad." gibson girl- ethel cain

"i miss the way you say my name, the way you bend, the way you break, your makeup running down your face, the way you fuck, the way you taste." the death of peace of mind- bad omens

"i want it dirty with the lights on, filthy, vile, and obscene, i wanna show you what a bitch i can be." hatefuck- motionless in white

"you say you're a good girl, i say you're a liar. how could such a good girl love a vampire? kisses aren't enough, i want to bite through you." your favorite dress- lil peep/lil tracy

"scratching counter top is was screaming, my back arched like a cat, my position couldn't stop, you were hitting it." stargirl interlude- the weeknd/lana del rey

"i want to make a movie, so let's star in it together." this is hardcore- pulp

"you're so sweet; your smile, your pussy, and your bones. you're on fire you move me like music with your style." MX- deftones

Dark

"he is the lamb, she is the slaughter." sic transit gloria... fade out- brand new

"say that the night sing alone, and if there's a god then i'm letting him go, all for you." chemical kids and mechanical brides- pierce the veil

"i love you so madly like sadie make, but i'm just a crazy bitch, crying in the kitchen to tammy wynette." tammy faye- nicole dollanganger

"and so he gets to die a saint, but she will always be a whore." the foundations of decay- my chemical romance

"i would die for you, i've been dying just to feel you by my side, to know that you're mine." #1 crush- garbage

"i fantasize about open wounds, allowing time just to dream them through.. rage is the itch im not scratching, i guess i'm over reacting." rolling out the red carpet- hail the sun

"now i can't see your face, i suffocate. because you're not around, i suffocate." suffocate- deer death

"i liked having hurt, so send the pain below, where i need it." send the pain below- chevelle

"call an optimist she's turing blue, such a lovely color for you." blue- a perfect circle

okay that's all for now if i think of more ill make anotha one!

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Reader - Set Me Free Part 8/15

Part 9 and 10 are already out on my Patreon for Free!

+18

Ruben and Carla have grown apart. With Rubens career taking off he leaves Portugal to live the life of his dreams, breaking Carla's heart doing so. Years later, upon his return home, Ruben learns that Carla has moved on, happily engaged to another man, but not any man, Ruben's childhood bully João Mendes.

Enjoy!

Ruben ran around the local stadium. He stopped counting how many laps he had done once his smartwatch died. After running he made his way onto the football pitch, a ball at his feet. He moved fast, trying to keep control of the ball. Defending was his job and Ruben was set to not let anybody through, that started with knowing how to keep the ball at his feet no matter what.

He wasn't good enough, not yet. Years of training and Ruben was still not good enough. He certainly hadn't been good enough to keep the love of his life. How could he expect to be good enough for his team? The European championship was due this summer and Ruben had a long way to go. He had to work harder.

His family had left him for the day. Ruben's mother in particular, couldn't stand it when he got like this. His behavior was compulsive. Instead of expressing his emotions, Ruben would head to the gym and push his body to its limits. His family worried about him, but never knew how to reach him. They saw him as a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode from all the pent-up anger and stress. However, it's what made him the man he is today. That and other things.

"Hello, anybody home?"

"In here!" Ruben shouted.

He stood in the kitchen preparing his post-workout shake whilst waiting for the sauna to heat up. Emerging footsteps were heard out on the patio, followed by a sun kissed Santina popping her head through the glass doors.

"I thought that was you running up and down the street." She smiled. "Are you training for a marathon or something?"

Ruben shrugged his shoulders and took a swing of his shake. "I'm just trying to stay in shape." He said.

"You, stay in shape?" Santina invited herself in, her eyes wandering shamelessly to the pecks of Ruben's sweaty muscles as he stood shirtless before her. "Come on Ruben, you're built like a sculpture, what more do you want?"

He chuckled.

"I bet you can't do pilates though. I'm good for a spread eagle now that the studio in my house is fully renovated."

"A spread eagle?" Ruben frowned.

Santina glared at him seductively. "I'd show you how I do it but...."

"But?"

"But Carla is my friend so...."

Ruben flinched at the name. A grimace that did not go unnoticed by Santina.

"I saw you talking to her at the party." She said, resting her elbows on the kitchen Island and grinning when Ruben's eyes shamelessly diverged to her ass. "You left kind of early after that."

"Yeah, I was not...." Ruben scratched the back of his head, his gaze returning to hers. "I guess you can say I suddenly felt sick to my stomach." And he still felt sick. Not even the aching pain from working out so hard could mend what he felt inside. The fact that Carla wanted nothing to do with him was simply killing him from the inside out.

Ruben cleared his throat. "Was there anything you needed?"

Santina perked up. "No, not really."

With Ruben's success he had moved his family into a gated community. Santina had become their new neighbor as she lived down the street in the home that her family left her in their will.

"Alright, well I'm about to head into the sauna." He pointed.

"Cool. Mind if I join?"

It wasn't a question. Santina pushed off the kitchen Island and strutted down the hallway, peeling off the laces to her top as she did.

Ruben sighed but bent down to pick up the trail of her clothes, neatly folding them and placing them on the bathroom sink. The glass doors to the sauna were foggy, with Santina hiding inside of it. Ruben stepped out of his shorts and boxers before opening the door, welcoming the heat.

"What took you so long?"

Santina sat with her knees to her chin, head leaning back against the wall. She sat up as Ruben stepped up to her, his hand reaching to her lips.

"No talking during."

She smiled, "As you wish."

Ruben's hand went to the back of her neck, aligning her head with his erect cock. Santina's eyes widened at the sight of it, already pulsating in his hand.

She obeyed his wishes by not talking during, however Ruben imagined it hard for her to do anything with his dick in her mouth.

She squinted her eyes, tears running down the side of her face as he fucked her mouth, making her gag as he did.

"Good girl." He grunted.

Santina was no quitter either, swallowing his seed with the audacity to look up at him and smile as it went down her throat.

She had a hot body, no doubt about that. However Ruben was afraid that he would go soft seeing her face. There was nothing peculiar about her face, it just didn't belong to the woman that he loved. Nevertheless, Santina didn't mind getting fucked from behind, something told Ruben that she preferred it. She arched her back with his every stroke, gripping the wood and moaning like a maniac as he knocked his hips against hers. She had him coming within seconds. It would be embarrassing, however Ruben couldn't care less.

"We're done here." He said, falling back against the wood.

Santina nodded and made her way out of the sauna, letting out some of the fog. Ruben sat with his legs spread and glistening sweat dripping down his torso. He was still hard, so hard. Nothing did it for him these days. No other woman could satisfy him anymore. He was being a tad dramatic, but if Carla didn't want him Ruben would quit women altogether. He needed to focus on football anyway and now he could do that without looking back.

The wood burned his back as he slumped down against it. Ruben groand as he grabbed his dick, squeezing it in the palm of his hand. He stroked it slowly up and down, trying to picture her face behind his closed eyelids. "Carla." He moaned. Along with upping the tempo of the stroking of his cock. His biceps clenched, already tired from his workout earlier. He pushed through, biting down on his lip as he did.

Her name escaped his lips when he came.

He felt pathetic.

Ruben felt pathetic and disgusting. He was careless too, having fucked Santina without a condom. But who knows, maybe she could have his baby? Ruben wanted nothing more than a family of his own. But if it wasn't with Carla perhaps it was never meant to be.

Part 9 and 10 are already out on my Patreon for Free!

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

This Is The End (Of What Used To Be)

Chapter Seven of Sweet Home Alabama

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OC (Linley Mitchell/Floyd), Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x OC (Linley Mitchell/Floyd)

Description: The morning after your night out on the town is anything but happy. You can't believe you made the decisions you did last night. Maybe those rounds of shots were a bad idea? But for better or worse you're making even worse decisions, picking fights and hurting the one person you've never wanted to hurt - not again. You get what you want. So why does it feel like you don't want this - not anymore?

Themes: angst, love, attraction

Warnings: arguments, anger, cheating, aftermath of cheating

Word Count: 2990

A/N: The last chapter was titled The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Decisions for a reason, y'all! This chapter picks up right where the last one left off (or well, I should say the morning after it left off). Jake and Linley are not in a good place at the end of this chapter, not at all.

AO3: Cross-posted here!

Wattpad: Cross-posted here!

My Masterlist

Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Next Part

Everything hurts when you wake up. It feels like an entire New York construction site has set up shop inside your skull, complete with jackhammers, big machines, and yelling and beeping. But the bed is soft under you, and you’re warm, and the arms around you feel too good for words.

Wait…

The arms around you?! You slide carefully out from between the sheets, shivering at the goosebumps rising on your bare skin. It’s more than just the pain of a hangover in your body, then. You’re sore, the specific kind of sore that you’ve really only felt after a night of passion, and when you look back into bed, it’s to see Jake lying on his stomach fast asleep while facing you. It hurts seeing him lying there because it’s everything you’ve wanted for seven long, lonely years. 

The longer you’re awake, the more you remember about the night before. You remember every single thing you said - to him and about him. You remember Jake picking you up like you weighed nothing and carting you out to the parking lot when you’d been nearly blind with rage and drunk. You remember the kisses, too. You bring your shaking hand up to your lips because even now, you can still feel them. After that first kiss, it was like you were consumed by lightning. Every part of you ached for Jake. He’d kissed you in that parking lot like you were the air he needed to breathe, kissed you until you wanted nothing more than to feel his touch again. 

The two of you had stumbled into his car and driven home with barely withheld need coursing through you. As you stumbled into the house, avoiding Bryant’s dog bed in the corner of the living room, it felt like you were finally alive. When he finally had you in his bed, it was like having sex with no other man. You can still feel the ghosts of his touch on your skin. He’d stripped your clothes off tenderly, replacing them with his kiss, his touch. It was heated, frantic, every inch of your skin singing under his touch. 

You’d say it was hate fucking, but there is too much history between you and Jake Seresin. It had felt like nothing you’ve ever felt before, not even with Bradley, and that scares you. You came to Alabama for one reason, only one. To get a divorce - not get horribly drunk and end up in the same situation you were in before you left all of those years ago. This situation also means that you just cheated on Bradley. God, Bradley. What’s he going to think? How can you tell him? Carole’s already on a warpath about you and the wedding. If you tell him you cheated, it’ll break his heart. 

Oh, god!

 If Carole finds out, he’ll be shipped off to California to marry one of his exes quicker than you can apologize, and you'll be seeing interviews where she accuses you of breaking her baby boy's heart. You can’t hope to have him forgive you. Not when you know his thoughts on relationships and on cheaters. Not when you know how much he’s struggled to advance in his career. The news of your infidelity would completely destroy your relationship as well as any political aspirations he has.

Jake grunts just a little in his sleep, lips smacking as he turns to the other side, jolting you out of your musings. As the bed jostles slightly, you can see the bruise purpling on his golden skin from where you’d chucked the pool ball the night before. Seeing Jake like this makes worry swirl even tighter in your gut. How are you going to face this? Something like practicality sinks in despite your worry as you gather your scattered clothing. You’re probably still a little drunk as you bend to pick up your underwear, your head aching as you pull the garments on over passion marked skin. You’re just fighting with one of your high-heeled shoes when the rustling of sheets and a sleep rough voice tell you that Jake is awake.

“Hey, darlin’.” He sounds so good, but you know the minute you turn around, you’ll have to break his heart all over again. “Good Mornin’.”

You pause for several long moments, standing in Jake’s bedroom, the scent of him surrounding you while trying to think of what you can say.

“C’mon Lin, can you look at me, sweetheart?” God, he sounds so happy and fond. Would he sound like this if it were anyone else in his bed at the moment? How much longer can he sound like this? Especially when you know what you have to do. Does it make you cruel to try to push for a divorce now? When Jake is the first time being intimate has brought a smile to your face in years? When Jake is the one person you’ve never had to hide around? You turn around and try to spread the facsimile of a smile on your face. Because Jake knows you, he can easily see your feelings in your face. That easy smile drops, and worry takes its place.

“Hey, sweetheart?” He scrambles out of the sheets, tugging worn gray sweatpants on before taking your hands in his. “What’s going on in that head of yours? Is it what we said to each other last night?”

Why is it that he just can’t shut up? He keeps acting sweet and pretending like you’re someone important to him when both you and he know you’re not - not anymore. Each selfless word, each gesture, god, even the way he pulls you into his chest, sends you spiraling. You can do this. It feels like you’re living a lie, a much bigger one than your life in New York, even. It’s always only been Jake who has been able to strip you bare like this. Only ever Jake. If you didn’t lose your best friend all those years ago, you’re definitely going to lose him now.

Your throat is bone dry as you pull away from his secure embrace. Your eyes burn with unshed tears and your voice is gravelly as you say, “I can’t do this, Jake.”

“Do what, honey? Tell me what you’re thinking. You don’t have to do that right now, Sugar. Take all the time you need.” Damn him! 

God, you’d give anything for angry Jake right now. There’s a reason why you left Pigeon Creek the first time in the dead of night. You’ve never been able to handle his pain.

You gather all the hatred you’ve ever felt for anyone and hold it in front of your battered, aching heart and spit out words you never would have said before, and don’t mean in the slightest.

“I can’t do this anymore, Jake.” It’s obvious he doesn’t understand, so you twist the knife a little bit deeper, hoping he doesn’t see how you’re bleeding a little too. “Last night was a mistake.”

Confusion graces his face as you continue. “A cheap little hate fuck. As if I could ever want to be with you again. God, you’d think I’d never learn. Jake, there is no way I could ever want to be yours again. I mean, come on. Even a year was too long last time.” 

Pain rises in those green eyes you love - no you loved, because you love Bradley - so much before his expression schools into blankness. His voice is gravelly and quiet, so quiet that it makes you want to sob just hearing it. “So what did you want, sweetheart?” 

“You came on to me last night.” His voice turns into a snarl, a growl. “You just want your happy little rich life, the one Bradshaw can give you. Forget having something real with someone who loves you.”

That’s when a sob breaks through from the iron hold you have on your tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jake. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody.” His chuckle is far from joyful or happy. He stomps into the living room and comes back with the divorce papers nearly crumpled in his fist. He signs the papers with enough force to nearly rip through the paper three excruciating times and shoves them your way.

“You got what you wanted, Linley. Now get the fuck out of my house before I call Mickey to drag you out.” By the time you’re sitting in the front seat of your car, not that you know how it got to Jake’s house, there are tears on your cheeks. It shouldn’t hurt this much to get what you want. It shouldn’t. It can’t. But it does. 

It feels like you're reeling as you mechanically drive to your dad's, shower, and get ready for the day. Thankfully, your dad’s not home. There is a note on the fridge, though, proudly stating, “Went to prep for the reenactment in Greenville, Lin! Love you, Dad.” The shower helps, as all showers do, and you feel positively human as you walk into Pigeon Creek's one tiny post office and mail the divorce papers away. But with that done, you feel lost. Adrift and caught between the person you were, lonely, heartbroken, and alone, and the woman you’d made yourself into in New York. For Jake, you’d been willing to give up everything, your hopes, your dreams, everything to make a new dream with him. Without that dream, it had felt like nothing else mattered. Not over a decade of friendship or the love you felt for Jake. On a whim, you drive out of town.  With the top down and the wind blasting your tears away, you feel a little more bit like yourself. 

It rained overnight, you note dimly, the world rain-drenched and brand new as it whips past your windows in a patchworked blur of gold, green, and bronze. Unconsciously, you must drive on the roads you’ve been driving since your dad taught you how to drive, and you end up looping around town and in front of the one place you never expected to go back to, especially after how you acted the night before.

In contrast to when the Hard Deck is filled to the gills, this time when you walk through the swinging doors, the scent of lemon wood polish fills your nostrils, and it’s quiet - blessedly tranquil, in fact. The silence blankets your thoughts, muffling the frantic, flurried thoughts until all you can hear is the clack of your heels against the golden, aged wood. Unsurprisingly, Penny’s at the counter. Seeing the glare she levels in your direction doesn't surprise you at all.

“You know, I knew you were trouble the minute I saw you walk through those doors, Linley.” You nod dumbly, sitting on the stool in front of her. “My son’s put up with a lot for you and from you. Because he loves you. When you left, we all thought it was just because you were heartbroken and didn’t know how to tell him how badly you were hurting. We put up with the turmoil you inflicted on him for seven years. And then you pull this nonsense?”

A tear drips down your cheek at her words. Because it’s true. “You never loved my son at all, did you? What was it then, all those years ago? A case of possessive ego? A chance to prove that the nerdy little thing sketching all the time could bag the quarterback?” That can’t be why you did what you did. Right?”

“What do you have to say for breaking my son’s heart like you have?”

What can you say? 

“Penny, I did love him. I think a part of me always will.” She snorts, and that’s when you officially give up on salvaging the relationships you’ve broken in Pigeon Creek. But you have to try. Penny’s the closest thing to a mom you’ve ever had. Without her, you wouldn’t know anything about being a woman. “I think a part of me will always love him, Penny. I think I’ve loved Jake since before I knew what love was. But I have to grow up. I’m too old to think that true love conquers all. And I found someone who loves me. He loves the person who followed her dreams and succeeded despite her struggles. We both know Jake’s never been able to do that.”

“Then why are you still here, Honey?” You shrug, the motions feeling like you’re moving something that could shatter at the easiest provocation. 

“I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Dad, could I?” It’s your best answer, even as she bustles out from behind the word with a skeptical glance in your direction. You're left alone, with just your frenzied thoughts and your battered heart.

"What're you doing here?" Amelia's arrival breaks the tense silence as she smacks one of her textbooks onto the counter and pulls a soda from the fridge.

"Didn't you get what you wanted anyway?" She can't hide her disgust for you as she opens the can and takes a long sip. "I mean, come on. You broke my brother's heart again and then stomped all over it."

"If you weren't smart enough to realize that you've had Jake since before I was born, I guess seven years hitting it big in New York didn't teach you a single thing."

She gestures to the now empty can in front of you. "The soda's 3 dollars and 50 cents. We take cash if you forgot. Only my family gets free drinks at the Hard Deck. You're not family anymore. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

When Amelia has made it absolutely clear exactly how much she hates you, what else can you do? You leave the bar after leaving a five-dollar bill on the counter. Talking to Penny was supposed to make you feel a little more settled in your skin. Instead, you feel like a tornado has blown through your life. Driving in circles inevitably leads you to the same place that you left earlier in the morning. The door is locked, and you’d left the spare on Jake’s dresser after the fight as you walked out of the door. Jake’s truck isn’t in the driveway, and the entire property sits in a dappled green haze. It feels like there is still something dragging you towards Jake, and it’s not just the bruises he’s left on your skin. A part of you isn’t ready to let this part of your life end without some closure.

You pad around the house and make your way down to the dock. The seaplane is still out there, and that’s where you see Bryant sleeping under the broad wing. He lifts his head the minute he sees you and lopes forward, happily slobbering over your upturned palms. You can’t help the soft kiss you press into the silken fur as he rests his whole head in your lap. It’s heavy and warm, and in that instance, a spike of longing impales your heart for the puppy you bottle-fed and raised sitting on this very dock. Your Bear loved you with all his heart, and even now, you wish you could have taken him to New York. But he would have been miserable in your shoebox apartment, going from a king in the countryside to a pauper overnight. So you’d left him with Jake. And as it turns out, you will never see him again. At least you know Jake loved him until the very end.

When a whistle rends the air, jolting Bryant into action, you’re not surprised at all to find tears on your cheeks. Of course, Jake strides down the well-worn planks with a bone in one hand. You can faintly hear him mutter, “What’s she doing here?” as he sets the bone down on the planks. “I thought you’d be long gone by now.

“I put the money back, Jake.” There’s still anger in his eyes as he looks over your face. His jaw is tight, like his teeth are clenched. 

“That saves me from a lot of bounced checks. But that still doesn’t explain why you’re here. I signed your papers and everything. So you could go after your dream in New York. Now I’m going after mine.” Every word rings of finality.

“You’re leaving Pigeon Creek?” It hurts hearing Jake say that, you can’t quite figure out why it hurts as much as it does.

“All of the things you did to the house will actually help its resale value.” His chuckle is sad and soft. “I’ve been spendin' a lot of my time up around Tuscaloosa, so…”

“Oh.” There’s a lump in your throat that you have to swallow around. “I came to thank you, Jake. And to tell you again that I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know, darling. It was the only way to get what you wanted.” If he knew, why did he let you hurt him like you did this morning? “You’ve always been single-minded when you were trying to get what you wanted. The girl I knew never used to leave people behind. She’d take them with her if they truly mattered to her.”

Hearing Jake’s words makes all of your accomplishments over the past years seem pale in comparison. “The girl you knew, she wasn’t living life at all.” The words nearly get stuck in your throat as you say them.

“Better get on with living then.” He turns to Bryant, ushering the puppy into the plane. It makes you smile, just a little, to see how Jake has to lift him into the plane, drool-covered, gnawed-on bone and all. It feels like the end. Now, if only you knew why your heart hurts when you have something, no someone, just as wonderful, waiting for you in New York.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE, ON WATTPAD, OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE, ON WATTPAD, OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

Taglist:

@atarmychick007 @the-romanian-is-bae @lt-spork  @buckysdollforlife @blackwidownat2814 @praline357 @seitmai  @cheyrenee @trickphotography2 @abaker74  @marrianena-library @angelbabyange @temptest13 @kmc1989  @im-an-adult-ish @chaoticassidy @inkandarsenic @lynnevanss  @shanimallina87 @khaylin27 @mizzzpink @emma8895eb  @hookslove1592 @leahnicole1219 @djs8891 @sarahsmi13s @desert-fern @horseshoegirl @dakotakazansky @teacupsandtopgun  @footprintsinthesxnd @thedroneranger @cherrycola27  @roosterforme @mak-32 @beyondthesefourwalls