#I care more about fictional character birthdays than my own

[heartstopperthoughts]

Today is Nick Nelson’s 29th birthday!!!!! 🥳 🎉 🎂🎈

[xiphactinusfish]

Happy birthday to the special girl!

I remembered this year to do a birthday doodle for one of my oldest ocs, Red.

[myfictionaldreams]

~ Mafia!Stucky Mastlist⍟✪ 📚~

Hello lovely, I hope you’re having a great day. I thought it was about time I made a list dedicated to my favourite boys, so welcome to my Mafia!Stucky masterlit!I love to write in my spare time, and the fiction I create is for 18+ readers ONLY. Also, everything is character x fem!reader, and please, read the tags carefully before continuing.

Masterlists ♥ A03 ♥ Tags  ♥ Question? ♥ latest works ♥

you're mine (smut, angst, dark)

Steve loves showing off what’s his, you. What does eh do when he sees someone staring at what is his?

i need more (fluff, smut)

You’d been off all day and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Steve. He’d do anything to make you feel better so when you started begging him to help you have some release, he didn’t hold back.

ruined orgasm - kinktober (smut)

He had given you one rule: do not interrupt the meeting. So, of course you had to walk straight into the meeting that had all of America’s most noterious gangsters

steve's birthday wish (P.1) (fluff, smut, angst)

It was approaching Steve’s birthday and you had no idea what to get him. Bucky suggests just asking the Mafia boss what he would like, but would you regret your decision when you hear what Steve truly wants.

When Two Become Three (P.2) (fluff, smut)

It has been a few weeks since Steve sat back and watched your be pleasured by his best friend Bucky, and you couldn’t stop thinking about it. Especially, the part where Steve confessed his fantasy to have a threesome, but would you ever agree to it?

one more meeting (fluff, smut, angst, dark)

For all of the years that you had known Steve and Bucky, you had never seen them lose control of their anger. All of the murder and violence always being calculated, calm, and dangerous. But today, that all changed and for the first time in years, you were truly scared of the boys you loved.

repeat after me(fluff, smut, angst)

It wasn’t often that you had to attend a party with your boyfriends but today, you found yourself at one, filling you with anxiety and dread. How will the boys react when they find you close to a panic attack and starting to doubt their love for you?

how many?(fluff, smut)

Steve had finally found time to take you and Bucky on holiday. What he doesn’t tell you however is that today, he wanted to see just how many times he and Bucky could get you to orgasm.

i can’t lose you (fluff, smut, angst, dark)

Being the girlfriend of the Mafia leader and his second in command had its dangers but for years, you'd never had to experience this. Until now. How will the boys react when you're put in danger?

no touching (fluff, smut, angst)

You blatantly ignored their instructions and now you had to suffer the repercussions for your actions.

i don’t care (fluff, smut)  

'The reader having a menstrual cycle, this one just a little worse than others, and Steve and Bucky worrying and helping her through it.'

the one weakness (fluff, smut, angst) 

It wasn't often you were by yourself so when you quickly go to the coffee shop, what happens when the enemy is watching and waiting nearby.

overwhelming (fluff)

It had been your birthday a few days ago and both Steve and Bucky had made it their mission to give you the most lavish party followed by intense, long nighttime activities. However as you lay in bed on Monday morning, something just didn't feel quite right.

the fun game  (fluff, smut)

Steve and Bucky had forgotten about your date, leaving you waiting for two hours in the restaurant. How will they react when you decide to play your own little game as payback and, how far can you go before they finally snap?

harder, please  (fluff, smut, angst)

Your mind was clouded with lust and pleasure, as you begged repeatedly for more from Bucky but, what happens when you get hurt in the process?

protect and forget  (fluff, smut, angst) 

Life as the girlfriend of the Mafia boss and his second-in-command was not always smooth sailing, everything did not always go to plan. Two weeks before your birthday, a threat was made to your life. What happens when Steve and Bucky begin to push you away as they search for the threat?

All Eyes On You  (smut)  

“Do you know what we would have done if we had turned up to that restaurant and seen you all dolled up like that? We would have bent you over the table in front of everyone and shown them exactly who you belonged to". - Steve Rogers

you belong to me  (fluff, smut, angst)

These girls knew you were dating Steve and Bucky, so why is it that they thought it was ok to have their hands all over them?

dont fall asleep  (fluff, smut, angst)

It was supposed to be a normal day, but not in fate's eyes as you and Sam are hit by a drunk driver. How will Steve and Bucky react when they hear their girls been hurt?

rule number one.  (fluff, smut, angst)

It was Bucky's birthday but even a surprise party won't stop Steve and Bucky from punishing you for not looking after yourself.

Last Hope (CH. 1) (CH. 2)  (fluff, smut, angst, dark)

Before dating Steve and Bucky, your life felt like a steel cage that you couldn't escape from because of your family business. There was no happiness or hope but, what happens when the infamously heartless mafia leader, Steve Rogers, finds you alone?

our little bean  (fluff, angst)    

You stared unblinking at the Doctor who had just told you the news you couldn't quite comprehend. You were on birth control, so why is the test in his hands saying that you're pregnant?  Accidents happened but is this a happy one? (Yes it is).

the limit  (fluff, smut, angst)

Everyone has a limit, this includes Steve and Bucky. What happens in different situations where each of you felt compelled to use your safewords?

sick day (fluff)

Bucky had warned you that dancing in that rain without a coat would lead you to be ill, maybe you should have listened more to his warning.

accident’s happen (fluff, smut, angst) 

You were visiting a friend when you were accidentally hit in the face, leaving behind a cut across your cheekbone. How will Steve and Bucky react when they see their girl injured?

everyone is breakable  (fluff, smut, angst)

Steve and Bucky were invincible in your eyes. They'd never been injured or in a situation where you thought they weren't the ones in control. That is until one day Bucky doesn't return from meeting with a client.

winter soup  (fluff, smut, angst)

There was no better feeling than a bowl of hot soup when you're feeling unwell and, what's even better is when it's delivered to your door every day by your new guard. It tasted amazing and you could always trust everyone in the Mafia... right?

something new   (smut)

The mafia leader was known to be possessive and enjoy showing off his girl but what happens when he wants to do this by being intimate in front of his gang?

pegging - kinktober  (smut)

Steve had once instructed bucky how to pleasure you but what happens when you’re the one being given the instructions?

cockwarming - kinktober (smut)

You’re feeling needy and restless so Steve offers you something to suck on, much to Bucky’s amusement.

double penetration in one hole - kinktober  (smut)

You were adament to prove Steve wrong and do something you’ve never done before.

fear play - kinktober (smut, dark)

You woke up to darkness, your phone was missing and, all you could was silence echoing around the house but, you knew you weren’t alone.

role reversal - kinktober  (smut)

For once, you were the one shouting at the enemy, demanding that they leave your office. Steve and Bucky were in awe so you tried to keep up this confidence and burn off some energy with them.

Duke, Duchess and Knights  (fluff, angst)

You get so lost in the fantasy dream that when it turns into a nightmare, you're not sure what reality is when you wake up screaming.

Merry Christmas (fluff, smut)

It was a simple question: Have you been naughty or nice this year?

Safety Measures (Angst, Smut, Fluff)

It was the anniversary of Steve and Bucky saving you from your sadistic brother. Usually, it was a time of celebration for you, but this year, you couldn't help but feel paranoid and unsafe.

Drabbles

The first to give their jacket when reader is cold

Mad & Sad moments

Saying the wrong thing

TikTok trend: no kissing

Who is more protective?

safe space in your new home

Halloween Costumes

[streamingcolors-gvf]

☽ Smut 18+ MINORS DNI!!! (Most of not all my work contains adult/NSFW content, so you might as well move along)

♡ Fluff

➳ Angst

**Disclaimer: Everything written here is intended to be read as complete fiction with utmost respect for the real people these characters may be based on. I do not know the guys personally and don’t intend for this to reflect on them as real people in any way.**

* 2023 Important Blog Update *

Series:

Tears of Rain  ☽ ♡ ➳  

Living in a small, New England town, daily life was rarely ever exciting for you. It lent comfort and peace with few neighbors, beautiful nature and scenery and a calming reliability with each new day. Things were starting to feel a little stagnant and lonely for you despite how much you enjoyed living here. One summer morning a beautiful stranger might have changed everything for you.

Boys of Summer-wip ♡ ➳ ☽

 It’s the summer of 1986 and you find yourself starting your first job on your own. You were drawn to the beaches of Ocean City in search of a new start, expecting to fill the days enjoying whatever the coastal town had to offer. You find yourself thrown into a world you couldn’t have anticipated and the memories made were sure to last a lifetime. 

The Perfect Treat - wip (Josh x f!reader x Danny) ☽

Your boyfriend, Josh decides to propose the idea of sharing with you for the evening with his best friend. 

Skin Deep - wip (Josh x f!reader x Jake)

TattooShop!Au

One-Shots:

Over Your Ex, Under His Brother  ☽

friends-to-lovers

You had just recently broken up with your ex-boyfriend, Jake, who happened to be the twin of your best friend. One weekend afternoon Josh stops by to spend time with you after being distant for weeks. Feelings emerge to the surface and things start to happen as your little smoke sesh together becomes more than you expected. 

Backseat Ties  ☽

strangers-to-lovers

After being dragged to a lackluster night planned at a bar, a handsome and charming stranger pulls you into an unexpected turn of events for your evening.

Praises and A Punishment  ☽ ♡

Overworked and overtired, it’s become clear that you’re in need of a break. Things have been stressful lately, and you were guilty of not giving your boyfriend and you the attention your relationship needs. After spending a wonderful morning together, you find yourself in a compromising situation with Josh.

Picking Favorites ☽ ➳

enemies-to-lovers

You were in the midst of putting together a small birthday party for you best friend, Jake, when you got the news that his twin brother would be attending as well. Once good friends, your relationship with him had soured to the point of hatred over the years. How was the night going to end when he threatened to ruin it?

Don’t Be Shy, Baby  ☽

You always enjoy taking care of your loving, hard-working boyfriend every chance you can, even when he just can’t seem to  wait for you. 

Two’s a Crowd, Three’s a Party  ☽

friends-to-lovers

Your best friend takes you out to one of the Kiszka’s house parties one night against your better judgement. Through some playful flirty banter, things start to take a wild turn where you would least expect them.

Looking Glass  ☽

Your boyfriend has always been sweet and loving, but something about the stage brought something out in him. A FaceTime call before a show took an unexpected turn, and it might have changed the dynamic of your relationship. 

Blurbs

Untitled

Series:

Boys of Summer -wip ♡ ➳ ☽

Embrace of Venus - teaser , Part 1

Skin Deep - wip (Josh x f!reader x Jake)

TattooShop!AU

One-Shots:

Unwind  ☽ ♡

You came home after a long night at work, exhausted and disappointed that you missed out on an evening together with your boyfriend, Jake. He decided to surprise you with a night of loving treatment and attention, soothing away the stress you had built up through the night. 

A Quick Dip / Part 2 ☽ ♡ ➳

After fighting the idea for months, you finally give into your mother’s persistence of inviting you to your childhood vacation for a weekend at the beach. It also gives them the opportunity to meet your boyfriend, Jake, for the very  first time. Just as you expected, things do not go as well as you might have hoped. 

A Little Neighborly Advice  ☽

strangers/neighbors-to-lovers

Your eyes instantly caught the sight of your new neighbor in your building. Thinking he might not be interested, you tried your best to avoid any embarrassment. However, one evening things seem to change…

Brittle ☽ ➳

Frustrated with the way things are going  with Jake, you decide you have to confront him on how your fwb relationship wasn’t working. 

Skin Deep Masterpost

Tattoo Shop!AU x f!reader x Josh

Blurbs/mini one-shots

Sweet Dreams ☽

Vanity ☽

One-Shots:

The Perfect Treat (Josh x f!reader x Danny) ☽

Your boyfriend, Josh decides to propose the idea of sharing with you for the evening with his best friend. 

The Perfect Treat II

…Soon to be announced

The Halloween Collection

Collaboration with @ageofnations (formerly @allieboop)

Josh Pumpkin Spice ☽ ♡

Danny The Number One Rule ☽

Sam No Trespassing ☽

Jake The Devil’s Little Secret ☽ ♡

Asks, requests and inbox are always open!

NEW TAGLIST FORM*

[violetriorsons]

@eddie-munson-dungeon-master (in response to me saying that i think xaden is a pisces. sorry for the late response, i decided to wait till i read iron flame for further research. and so, here's my warning for iron flame spoilers below)

i love me a good astro analysis of fictional characters, so i will shamelessly take this opportunity to share my theory of xaden riorson's sun/moon/rising.

overall verdict of his big 3 (explanations under the cut):

pisces sun

scorpio moon

aries rising

so the first book tells us his birthday is in march, which narrows his sun placement down to pisces or aries. it was hard to choose because i feel like he carries both, so i had to delve into the hows and whys of his expression of these signs. i'll start with his sun so i can get to the point of the original post.

the sun placement is more conscious and intentional than the rising and moon. so i think xaden has a pisces sun because of his goals and his choices.

pisces are compassionate and enjoy helping people. this tends to quickly escalate to the point of being self-sacrificing. xaden's protection of the marked ones, risking his life stealing weaponry to aid the fliers — along with his decision to fight at resson even if he considered it a death sentence, and his agreement to defend basgiath despite everything he'd lost because of navarre — all show pretty clearly that he can have a bit of a martyr complex. and it especially shows in the way he'll easily give up everything for violet.

he feels it's his duty to take care of people, even when it's at the expense of himself.

pisces tends feel like they're wading in the emotions of the entire world. xaden carries the grief and struggles of the marked ones, the suffering of the fliers and their people, and their combined resentment of navarre just as closely to his heart as his own suffering, and i feel like he struggles with separating his emotions from others. an example being him needing to isolate himself on the parapet because he was "not in a place to take care of anyone."

but all this also helps to heighten his intuition. and though i think his two signets are mostly driven by his moon sign, i feel like his sensitivity to other people's emotions play a big role in his "intention reading."

pisces can be prone to escapism, along with retreating into themselves when needing to cope, and i think xaden shows little signs of this too. going back to his isolation on the parapet again, and also his similar habit in aretia of sitting on the roof. his safe space for grounding being his favorite hillside in aretia.

but i think the biggest example is his relationship with violet. i feel like it's pretty clear that he sees her as a respite from the real world, and i even kinda think it fueled his need to keep her separate from the revolution both before resson and after. losing himself in violet is his much-needed vacation, and her joining the fight was kind of threatening his new happy place.

moving on, xaden also has great appreciation for other people's compassion, even if he considers it a weakness. he's very attuned to the concept of humanity, and considers it a virtue in violet specifically. he heavily mourns his own perceived loss of his humanity, thinking it's the main reason he doesn't deserve violet.

his secretiveness is the star player of his personality, and though this point is more driven home by my choice for his moon sign, i do think pisces contributes a lot to why violet finds him so hard to read. pisces is known for its secretiveness as well, often leads to feelings of being misunderstood. even when xaden's actively trying to be more open, revelations about him tend to only lead to more confusion.

and again, i do think his signets are mostly influenced by his moon sign. but the eery, flowiness of his shadows is also very piscean.

moving on to his aries rising, i think this one is more obvious: he carries himself like a warrior, always prepped for battle. he's naturally confrontational, aggressive, and independent to a fault. he easily finds himself in leadership roles because of these qualities — wingleader despite being a marked one; the revolution fell on his shoulders despite how young he still was; no one seems opposed to his inheritance of aretia. even violet notes this trait about him, and how people are naturally drawn to follow him despite his reputation.

aries are all about action, and are great at getting the ball rolling on things (not generally so great at finishing them, but in xaden's case his moon sign gives him the perseverance to see things to the end).

he's competitive, impatient, courageous, and he has a huge ego. which is also why violet made such an impression whenever she managed to take him down a peg.

but despite the tough, uncompromising exterior, his aries rising gives him a libra descendant. he is much more willing to bend for violet, and despite his worries over her safety, is more than happy to put some of that independence on the back burner in favor of forming a partnership with her. he's argumentative, but also shockingly avoidant with her at times. and he'll play mediator if he finds himself caught in violet's fights, both with himself and with other people.

and as the rising also rules physical traits, i'll note that facial scars are common for aries risings (xaden's eyebrow).

(and for anyone who may be reading that understands natal charts, his rising would place his pisces sun in the 12th house, adding to the secretiveness among other things.)

on to his scorpio moon which is also very obvious in my opinion. i feel like xaden's the embodiment of the scorpio archetype. any description you'll find on scorpio will definitely have you agreeing that's xaden in a nutshell.

positives: he's mysterious, magnetic, committed, and very astute. and overall, resilient.

negatives: he's also paranoid, vengeful, and at times manipulative.

in the middle, he's protective, intense, and incredibly stubborn.

he's distrustful by nature, and the crux of his issues with violet is the giant struggle she has getting him to open up. he feels very deeply, but has an extreme aversion to expressing any feelings that could paint him as vulnerable. which is partly why he was so desperate to get violet's three little words reenforced before dropping them himself.

he takes great comfort in feeling in control at all times, or at least in faking it even if he's spiraling on the inside.

guarding his thoughts, feelings, and intentions makes him feel like he has the upper-hand, which translates perfectly to his signet manifesting as shadow-wielding — his secrets make him feel powerful (and in control).

on the other hand, he finds just as much power in the secrets of others. he needs to know everything about everyone, which makes him very observant, intuitive, and at times obsessive (ie learning as much as he could in the beginning about violet, with his explanation for it being "can't know how to ruin someone without understanding them first"). and all this is highlighted in his specific type of inntinnsic signet: knowing people's intentions so well that he's pretty much a mind-reader.

putting aside power and control though, xaden also has a deep craving for intimacy, and enjoys the intensity of it. he's terrified of letting violet in, but at the same time he desperately wants her to truly know and understand him. he hated his bond with her in the beginning because he saw it as a weakness and a threat, but later goes on to say how grateful he is for it and clearly finds comfort in the connection it gives him to violet.

scorpio is also big on commitment. so while xaden definitely put up a fight against falling for violet, once he gave in it was all or nothing.

— so there you go, i hope my work was satisfactory! any and all thoughts are welcome!

[greyfacade]

Ask game questions! 5, 7, 8, and 23 for spamton bc I'm legally obligated to ask about him. You don't have to do all of them tho if you don't want!

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor

First song I thought of, though I'm sure there are other more suitable songs I could come up with. But honestly, due to my illness I don't get to listen to music often. I'm sensitive to sound.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

There's been some really nice fanart, and I love the fake ad ones people make, and the pinups. I love buying merch from people.

Its also nice when people treat their plushes nicely, or actually see him as more than just the "funny salesman." Don't get me wrong, Spamton's is an awesome a salesman and all, but that's not all he is.

Oh, my fave part though, is how everyone celebrates his fan birthday. Thats super sweet. I love seeing people make fanart for that.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Hm.. there's lot of great fanart of him, and you can see what I post already.

But I guess his shop sprite. It's fun to talk to him.

I do wonder what he would be like in person though.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Haha... heh.... well, this will get long... (Sorry.)

Mostly just the fact that the fandom is made up of a LOT of hateful people, who hatepost about Spamton because he's "popular," or because their fans of Swatch/Queen/Addisons and are in denial about what those guys did to him so they try to pin it on Spamton by saying "he deserved it" or saying it never happened.

Which is REALLY ironic in a way. But wait, we got more!

(_WARNING: RANT INCOMING!_ You dont have to read this.)

Many people can't get past the "funny salesman" trope. They think the salesman pitch Spamton puts on is literally all he is, that he really is this guy who is silly, obsessed with money, and batshit crazy. Does no one know how entertainment works!? Has no one ever followed a YouTuber or Twitch streamer, or gone to the circus or seen a live show? That how people act in front of a camera, isnt how they act all the time!? Spamton doesn't actually care about money, he said it himself; he does all he does because he's an entertainer trying to survive! The Spamton Sweepstakes, the Fangamer ads, the Twitter replies... while they contain truths and genuine things about him, for much of it, he's playing everyone like fiddles! He's saying whatever the hell he can to make you buy his shit, because funny thing, its his job! And the things is, it WORKS. Everyone totally buys in to it! But while I'm sure he does find joy in what he does, it can also be kind of painful that everyone actually thinks that's all he is in a way... they infantilize him, they treat him like he's crazy/stupid, they stereotype him, they make fun of him, they talk about wanting to hurt him... and they think its okay, because "he's in on the joke." Yeah? You really think anyone would find joy in seeing you make art of them getting abused/hurt/killed? REALLY? Ever thought that maybe... its not actually okay....

I guess I feel bothered by it. Sure Spamton chooses to play up all the stereotypes about him so that people will buy his stuff, and its cool that he can still joke about things like that. But... I wish people saw more of the real him sometimes, and realized he deserves kindness and respect like anyone else.

But I think Spamton is a good example of how people go too far, how they'll greedily take everything from someone, even their dignity, if it means feeding their own happiness. How they can't separate entertainment from reality (... yeah yeah, some irony there as I'm talking about a fictional character...)

In a way, the Spamton fandom, often represents to me, much of the things I hate about the entertainment industry, hell even fandom. I'm glad people love him and buy his stuff, but I also wish they liked him for kinder reasons. I hope that if he continues to be in entertainment, he gets to make something he loves, that allows him to be who he wants to be. Because like many of us, he sometimes gets trapped in a role, determined by other people. And while some of it is true, like he is funny and has a dark sense of humor, and I'm sure he does enjoy many of the things he does... but some of it, I think is sort of forced on him. It's like if you don't act the way everyone wants, they'll get angry or abandon you. And that, thats awful.

(And Im not saying don't enjoy his salesman persona, just that, I wish people saw the rest of him too. Because he's a kind, caring and brave guy, and I really wish him the best ya know?)

.... of course, I admit this might be some of my own self-projection too, but lets not unpack THAT.

...

......

You made it this far, wow... uh... *gives you a gold star saying "I just wasted several minutes of my life to an insane fan rant." except all the words don't fit on the star, so it just says "I just wasted."*

... *runs away while you ponder the star*

[bwobgames]

Previous First

They walk through the second lounge room

"... So what about you? Who are your favorite detective and criminal? I will judge you

"In real life? Us.

In fiction, hm... Professor Layton or Harry du Bois. And for criminals, it would be this one character Vivi made in DnD. It was really funny."

"Ah, so you're a bit of a nerd then?"

"You play minecraft"

"How did you know that."

"... Wild guess, I think you're the type of guy who asks people out on minecraft dates"

"Fuck, he's more perceptive than I thought"

"But isn't solving mysteries a bit of a game on its own? Just, well, much more serious"

"... I dont know if I'd call it a game, but it's certainly a puzzle.

Puzzles are really fun, I like solving things. The feeling when everything just *connects* is so satisfying.

But I certainly enjoy games, I love their structure, their rules, the way they change so drastically with just a few conditions. A game is like a puzzle, in a way."

"... Hey, how about this.

Let me contract you for my case"

"Huh?"

"I want you to investigate my next hit.

Time, place, object, method, all of it! I'll leave hints and clues beforehand. "

"Do you get it? I want to make puzzles for you"

"Oh. Oh fuck. This better not be feelings.

This is a terrible time, place, person, and situation to catch feelings in!! Get a grip Me!!!

He basically just did the equivalent of offering me a sudoku book, no big deal! Mom did that for my birthday already!

Well, except a hand crafted puzzle would require a lot of thought and care and research into it, and seeing as this is a real-life robbery, there would probably be items and places and other variables at play that will make everything more exciting, not to mention the real danger he is going through for this, just for me...

Which!! Is Fine!! Not romantic at all!! I have never felt a single feeling ever in my life."

"What happens when I solve it"

"If you solve it"

"When I solve it. You'll go to jail"

"I won't get caught, I know my way around police"

"So, dont worry, once it's over, I'll bounce back with more puzzles for you

We'll get to know each other better"

"... Okay. I'll do it, then"

"Ah fuck. These really are feelings"

"Im screwed"

They reach the stairs and go up

[bulle-d-bulliver]

BUGGY'S SPOOKTACULAR SPECIAL - The Four Musketeers

hey yall ! coming out a bit of my current silence on here (i have been busy with other stuff and interested with other fandoms for now)

i'm actually participating in @swampstew's writer collaboration :

Buggy's Spooktacular Special

9 writers came together to all write their own creation about characters and their halloween costumes. check out the post above to find their works !! make sure to reblog them all if you go through them and read them ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

♣

Fandom : One Piece Rating : Teens and Ups, SFW Pairing : Kin'emon/Reader, O-Tsuru/Reader, Kin'emon/O-Tsuru, Kin'emon & Kiku, O-Tsuru & Kiku, Reader & Kiku Tags : ☾Fluff, Birthday, Halloween, Costumes, Romance, Friendships, Found Family, Sword Fighting, Hand Holding, Hugs, Shishilian appears temporarily ☼Gender Neutral Reader, No pronouns used, Reader is written smaller than the three others, but no specified height or weight, Kiku picks up Reader at one point ✩Written with Kin'emon being a model or adjacent father figure to Kiku in mind, and O-Tsuru being a model figure to Kiku in mind. No specified dynamic between Reader and Kiku other than them being close friends considering each other family.

Summary :

Your birthday was the 31st of October.

A.k.a., Halloween, as you knew it, from out of Wano. It was decided the four of you would be in costume, to follow tradition. You'd be lying if this gigantic show of care and love from your loved ones didn't mean the world - the universe - to you.

Word Count : 5k3

Your birthday was the 31st of October.

A.k.a., Halloween, as you knew it, from out of Wano. But the country had been now more open to new things, new cultures, now that things were better. And with that came adopting, trying, or simply respecting, holidays and events from other cultures.

So Halloween was coming, and so was your birthday.

Upon deciding to proceed with this plan of fusing the two occasions, it was also decided the four of you would be in costume, to follow tradition - and please you, even if you had waved your hands frantically and assured them 'it's fine it's fine, you don't have to !'. They were plenty aware you were delighted by the idea, even with your backpedaling of it. So costumes it would be for the four of you. And individually handmade costumes, on top of that, would turn this into a fun challenge with an end result to look back on with delight and pride. Something to keep on display as a homage to a day that mattered not just for you, but for everyone.

You'd be lying if this gigantic show of care and love from your loved ones didn't mean the world - the universe - to you.

So there you all went on the search for ideas, one by one getting to the creation of your masterpieces.

♣

Kiku didn't search very far, for an idea, truthfully. She went with a demon - of course, of course, she had - but for this special occasion, and you who seemed to like Halloween so much, she wanted to do something different than what she knew. She decided to delve into different cultures, researching and preparing as much in advance of the work as she could. Kiku initially thought of going for a specific type of demon or demon equivalent from one culture, but she remembered you told her one day about how fun it was when doing character 'types' - to mold a vague concept into something that you owned and identified with. So, with that in mind, she decided to try this idea. Follow the general structure of what consisted of a demon in the fiction and myths of another culture - perhaps from the East Blue - but create her own... 'demon character'. It still matched the importance of it to her, but the challenge made it all the more exciting.

Kiku got to work fairly early on in the time she had until the deadline day. She actually had a pretty good knowledge on creating clothes; she'd had to learn that early on during her youth, and her time with O-Tsuru helped as well as the woman shaped her knowledge further when they had a few occasions for it. She was confident in her abilities to do it, and to find ways to succeed if she struggled.

The first step was the robe. It was black, in a thick tissue to keep some warmth but shaped in a way that created a lot of folds, enhanced with the thinly braided belt, using a golden yellow color for it to pop out. Kiku had gotten her hands on a material she had never worked with from out of Wano - golden and shiny, thin and slightly transparent - that she wanted to implement on the robe, but upon making mistake after mistake despite her careful efforts she decided to get Kin'emon's help. Kiku didn't ask him to do it for her, but to help her figure out the right way to go about it while applying the material. She didn't lose time to use what she'd just learned for her costume, adding on - the dress coming out gorgeous, looking a little otherworldly despite its simplicity. Adding onto it the detail she'd purposefully left space for : a tail, with a very thin, flexible piece of metal inside to keep it curved constantly, with the same shade of black as the robe. It ended in a bident, the two little spears at the end a sneaky little detail referring to Oden's two swords, a small tribute to her late caretaker and lord, bringing a tingle of bittersweet pride to her heart anytime her eyes landed on it.

Now came the part to make her more demon-looking. On her open back sat broken, black wings with only their stumps remaining like they'd been ripped off, speaking of a tragic event. She found it rather ironic : a parallel to her lost arm, her character losing a major limb but striving on despite it all. Kiku found it fitting.

She also added horns, that she made light enough to stay on her head which would keep it glued safely, but easy to get off, also black, long, and curved up then back. Golden paint spiraled around the horns, crossing onto each other and catching the light beautifully. With it, she modified an arm-length black glove to resemble claws, the fingertips replaced with curved talons dulled for safety.

Kiku initially thought to stop there when she was done, looking in the mirror to check if it all came together well. But it was missing something, something that felt like a key element. And as her eyes drifted to her blade, sitting safely on its holder... She knew what she needed to add to complete it.

The mask was painted black, the shape of it oh so different from what she knew, smooth except for vague shapes and cavities, for the eyes, nose, and mouth. The pitch blackness was as if looking into the void, a black hole, so deep it was hard to look away... And your eyes would be spiraling into hers, the skin around her eyes and the inside of the mask's eye holes painted white to strike. Kiku had considered adding gold to match the color palette, but decided against it.

Looking herself over in the mirror, Kiku nodded at her reflection. She felt extremely proud of the results and how gorgeous it came out. It wasn't perfect, a few mistakes visible. She was fine with it. She was glad for them, they weren't unwelcomed - Kiku worked hard for this, and hard work meant mistakes. It showed she tried despite hardships - and did it.

♣

Kin'emon wasn't sure what to do. He had full confidence in his skills and abilities when it came to clothing - his devil fruit wouldn't work as well if he didn't have an eye for good design and aesthetics. Sure, a lot of his fashion knowledge came from Wano... but he'd learned a lot, from the point he'd left to the future, and then made his way back to his homeland. Using his devil fruit only made his actual skills come in handy for something quickly done and temporary. And skills he had, a passion he didn't want to turn into more than that, something he was quite good at. Many people didn't expect him to be a person of arts, especially not a clothing designer.

Many ideas came to mind, but all of them were samurai-related, and yes, yes he could do that, he could, but he thought maybe he needed to be a little more clever than that. Maybe a lot more clever, something really inspiring, awestruck everyone, something breathtaking and... Back on track - Kin'emon needed to find the perfect idea. Because Kin'emon never did things half - okay maybe sometimes, especially his own self.

He was busier than he had anticipated during the time of creation of the costumes. Busy with matters, unfortunately, more pressing than a birthday event - ones that you even, on your own, pushed him to focus on when you'd noticed the situation - even if he was adamant he'd get it done; the samurai wasn't one to give up that easily.

Even so, he was left with a lot less time than he anticipated, especially since his family made sure to bully him to rest. Kin'emon sketched out many ideas, but too soon, there was already way too little time left to make the costume...

So he settled for a fire fox spirit. So, okay, not very clever, but it's very him, and it was at least something he knew he could get done before the deadline without having anyone chewing him out for overworking.

No- Actually- Screw that ! It was very clever, thank you, Kin'emon thought, when he looked at the kimono he'd created with his own hands. It took more time and effort than he'd figured without using his devil fruit... And okay, well, maybe it'd been a minute since he hadn't relied on it. So, sew him ! Fiery auburn with the bottom edges pitch black then blinding white, yellow freckles in places like fire particles, made using a shining thread he kept aside 'just in case' for a special project - this was more than special enough. The kimono was pretty simple but did the job, and Kin'emon liked it enough that he was now figuring he'd probably wear it as it was sometimes. The belt was the same color as the main one and kept in place an addition behind him : a furry, fluffy fox tail big enough to match Kin'emon's height and width. He had ears to match in his hair, the band hidden into its thickness, and his hands and feet were painted black like a fox's paws.

Yes. Not very clever, but also incredibly clever in a Kin'emon way, and it was good.

♣

O-Tsuru would very quickly assure she was very interested in the idea of this, enamored by the fun of it all. But she wasn't very enthralled to costume as something, rather more interested in using a theme as a base for a new outfit she'd create. She'd asked you when the idea was initially proposed, and you promised her she didn't need to go with a costume if she didn't want to, and putting together a new outfit, a special one for the occasion, worked just as well. It was about the fun of it all, after all, not for it to be stressed over traditions and rules that weren't important. O-Tsuru had been relieved - she knew you wouldn't shoot her down, if she asked, or get upset if she truly didn't want to - but she didn't want to potentially disappoint you either. She valued important dates, and it being your birthday... Well regardless, you were more than happy with this, so, so was she !

First came the step of deciding what to do, but she had way too many ideas to just go and already start on one. She made sketch after sketch of designs, then sorted through the ones she liked the most; choosing was hard, so she got O-Tama to help her, the girl immediately pointing to the design based on a white crane - O-Tsuru's favorite bird - and pointing to her at the same time, excited about this particular one because of the style of one of her kimonos, the one O-Tama was the most familiar with.

With decisive nods exchanged and a good warm hug before an offer for some food and tea together, she was ready to get to work.

Dedicated and hard-working were two adjectives everyone would use first when talking about O-Tsuru. This new project saw a new level of such qualities from her, resulting in her best work yet, in her honest - and very accurate opinion, from how self-critical she was for it. She juggled between her shop, her usual volunteering help around town, and her active social life without a sweat, as if she was gracefully throwing balls into the air and looping them between her hands. O-Tsuru knew when to take breaks to work on her design so she wouldn't mess up something by overworking herself or attempting to work while in the wrong state of mind to focus. The woman valued paying attention to details, in her creation just as much as her time.

It was with eyes shining with pride that O-Tsuru admired her completed handiwork, standing in front of a tall mirror. A pure white kimono with the added pattern to it being plants you'd find near rivers in a very simplistic style using a dulled, greyish blue, the painted plants reaching up from the bottom of the kimono to feel almost life-sized.

A large, pastel blue obi tied around her waist kept it all in place with the proper accessories to go with her kimono. To add to it all, she added golden jewelry, something simple, but a pop of color to bring it together.

But the masterwork of it all was around her shoulders. A coat flowed down her arms, kept in place with little rings at the ends looped around her middle fingers on each hand. The coat was so special because it was shaped like elegant, long crane wings, following the movement of her arms gracefully.

To both the coat and kimono, there was a very subtle, delicate, detailed work of feathers into the tissue. The crafted feathers could be felt faintly if one's fingers were to brush the clothes, catching the light in an almost ethereal way.

It was that modest detail in plain view, something registered by the brain but unable to readily describe, that made it all look so beautiful.

Once noticed, it really hit how much effort O-Tsuru put into it.

She didn't do any different make-up than her usual other than making it a little more visible. She wasn't looking to stand out in her 'costume', only wanting appreciation for her work, especially from her family.

♣

So came the early morning of your birthday and the holiday Wano had decided to celebrate to partake in new cultures.

The four of you were to meet once in the early morning at O-Tsuru's and Kin'emon's residence to show off your costumes before everyone took off to take care of their own personal affairs, then planned on meeting up again at late lunchtime in town to a restaurant you liked to start on the birthday celebrities.

You heard three voices as you opened the door, noting Kiku had gotten there before you had, and it was with a lot of barely-contained excitement that you rushed in to get a look at everyone. You gasped, a broad smile overtaking your face as a thrilled noise left you.

"You all did so good !" You praised your family, looking them over, making each of them spin to showcase their creations.

"You're not so bad yourself, my love," O-Tsuru mischievously answered, making you spin in turn, which you did with flourish.

"Musketeer huh ? We should have seen it coming," Kin'emon laughed, Kiku chuckling along with him.

Well, true enough, they really should have. Your little love for the swashbuckling genre was no secret to anyone who listened to you for more than a minute, so of course you had to try your hand at your very own romanticized musketeer attire ! It took a lot of effort and help from people who weren't those three to get it made, as you didn't have the experience to do that particular project, but you'd learned plenty and had ideas that ended up being pretty nice and brought it all together - something you were quite proud of.

"We'll be going now, to make sure we can get everything done," Kiku gently warned you, smiling. "I'm excited to spend your birthday with you."

Aw. Shucks.

"So am I !" You assured, hands on your hips. "I can't wait for it to be early afternoon and start it all."

Kin'emon sighed softly, one hand coming up to brush against your cheek with affection, big fingers smooshing your skin, an amused expression on his face, finding you seemingly endearing.

"We will see you then, my love."

"Don't tire yourself out too much before we meet again," O-Tsuru reminded you, a glint of smugness in her voice from the teasing.

"Aye aye, ma'am," you rolled your eyes at your partner, not without a smile.

The four of you broke off then, each to their respective plans for the morning.

You couldn't wait to see what this day had in store for you.

♣

Busy town with busy people, and not in a way that grated your ears and made your head buzz uncomfortably; rather, it was boisterous in a way that felt comfortable and homey, filled with happiness and laughter. It was nice. Very nice.

You were standing in front of the restaurant, away from the door to avoid bothering anyone wishing to enter or leave easily, people watching while waiting for your partners and your friend. A booming voice called out your name from the side of the street you weren't looking at, and when you turned with a smile to wave at Kin'emon... You found yourself dumbfounded, instead, blinking owlishly at the three figures walking toward you, stopping once they reached the restaurant.

You blinked a few more times, trying to understand what you were looking at.

It was Kiku, Kin'emon, and O-Tsuru, alright, but it was them in musketeers costumes matching yours.

"What ???" Was all you could muster, gesturing to their clothes with wild hands.

Kiku laughed behind her hand at your surprise, offering it for you to take, warming yours under her gloved palm.

"That book you like, it has three musketeers, and you told us people often make it four. Right ?" She explained slowly, letting you put it together.

"But ! What about your costumes ? You all worked so hard on them all, and they looked *so* good !" You protested.

"You're right ! We did. It is not wasted effort, my love. They will be used and appreciated, just not this afternoon." Kin'emon reassured you, patting your and Kiku's hand. You huffed at this, pouting, only a little genuine, mostly playful.

"I guess, then, that's fine."

"Do you not like it ?" Inquired Kiku.

"No, no ! I... I adore it. It's really sweet, and doing a group costume feels... I don't know, it's hard to explain. It feels, nice. Very nice." You smiled sweetly up at her, a little embarrassed.

"We promise we didn't waste our efforts and time, dear," O-Tsuru added, catching your eyes with hers. "But we also knew this would be a wonderful little birthday gift."

"You're right, it is. Thank you, all of you. I love this gift."

Sharing smiles and laughter, you entered the restaurant, it being well time to enjoy a good meal before going on your little town birthday escapade.

♣

Lunch went fairly quickly, even as you were scolded by O-Tsuru not to rush when you had choked on your food, much to the amused delight of Kiku and Kin'emon. It wasn't long before the four of you entered the heart of the festival put together to celebrate Autumn, in general, taking the occasion to try new things such as this.

Around you were many stands and activities, so much to see and share with excitement.

One particular stand, full of different teas in jars, and tea sets even, caught O-Tsuru's eye, as she let out a small 'oh !' of interest, Kiku excitedly bumping her shoulder into hers and hushing her over to the stand so they could look at it together. You were about to follow them, always adoring hearing your lover and friend gush about that interest of theirs, even if you sometimes got a bit lost, when a warm hand tugged on yours a little too eagerly; a proud Kin'emon grinned at you, eyes crinkling as he took you a bit further away, into a more spacious place not far from the stand where the others were at - it was on the end of the street, opening into a town square. You watched as he made a loud noise, getting people's attention, asking them to give a bit of space for the two of you. Everyone recognized him, all following along with his request, some grumbling but most looking amused and intrigued.

Kin'emon took a fencing stance, after getting his sword out, smiling brightly. Finding yourself dumbfounded again, for the second time this day, you drew your sword as well, taking position with clumsy confusion.

"Stance a little lacking, my love, don't you think ?" He teased.

You huffed, playfully, fixing it.

"It happens that I decided to add to our surprise for you. Granted, I had been planning this for far longer than our group costume decision... But still, it is rather fitting."

"You learned fencing ?" You sounded a little emotional as you asked.

"That I did, my love. Be ready !"

With a laugh, you prepared yourself for his little impromptu sparing session.

It was a short one, a small round or two only, not aiming to do much more than clash swords and try to make the other lose composure - or better, laugh.

Kin'emon showed to be skilled in this, more than someone who'd just picked it up, but he was a skilled swordsman, even if in a different form of it. But you got your fair amount of making him fumble, loving the way he'd exclaim and praise you.

There was no real winner, truthfully, less of a competition and more of a little duo dance of swords, only having a little fun until O-Tsuru called for the both of you, to continue through the festival.

You did get a quick peck on your cheek from Kin'emon, as you were making sure your safely put-away sword rested securely on your side.

"Thank you for indulging me, my love."

"It's not indulging you if you're the one offering such a sweet surprise, Kin'emon. Thank you." You chastised him softly while you took his hand in yours to tug him back to the group to continue forward.

♣

The next notable stop was when you reached an art stand, exposing various works on different medias, and different styles, showing the various artists that came together to bring this to the public eye for the festival.

It seemed the running theme was the late Oden, present in everything in some shape or form, even if vague. It brought you to a quiet thinking as you looked over the artworks, listening to Kiku and Kin'emon softly start a discussion about their deceased leader-slash-family.

A soft touch on your shoulder brought you out of your little bubble, your smiling partner pointing to the two with a sign to keep silent. You nodded, quietly moving away, letting them both have their moment. O-Tsuru held your hand in hers, once again nothing but soft touch, linking your fingers together. As lean as her fingers were, they were still bigger than yours due to her height, making your heart skip a bit at the notice of it.

O-Tsuru sat on a bench, graceful as always, inviting you to join her on her side, keeping your linked hands on her lap, her free one joining the other to cup yours, with a faint almost reverent intent to it. You felt more than flustered at the thought of such a thing, looking away and attempting - failing - to conceal the surprised little noise that escaped your lips. But you didn't stop yourself from slightly leaning against her side, a happy, wobbly smile making your cheeks look adorable.

With a hint of smugness, O-Tsuru decided to turn this into an assassination attempt via words, low voice keeping it private, just the two of you on that bench as the festival went on around you.

"Remember, always, how loved and cared for you are, by us, dear. Do not doubt it for a second." She eventually whispered, having enjoyed the way she'd made you flustered beyond recovery, deciding to give you a little break. "I love you very dearly, dear. So does he, very much. Kiku, just as well as us."

O-Tsuru followed her reminders with more praises, soft, watery rose words feeling like you were being hugged with affection, your skin tingling from the fluster you felt until you couldn't take it anymore, hiding your face under the brim of your hat, teeth biting on your bottom lip to stop yourself from whining out complains. You felt your lover shake with her hidden laughter more than heard her, but it was easy to imagine the glint in her eyes as she took in the sight of you unable to even know how to answer back, useless under a few sweet words of love and affection from her.

Hell, there were days where just meeting her gaze was enough to send you reeling into fluster land, especially with how O-Tsuru would hold it with a smile you knew meant... Well nothing specific per se, but the intent, intent such as this situation, of leaving you under a pile of little hearts that kept spurting out of your head as you simply drowned in them.

Instead now, with a little content sigh, O-Tsuru warmed your hand between hers as you waited for your family to get back to you, once they were done with their reminiscing, letting them take as long as needed - you were sitting in silence together, enjoying the closeness and the ambiance of it all...

...Little circles rubbed on your knuckles a clear enough 'I love you'.

♣

You'd found a stand with a large aquarium tub, filled with clear, healthy water, and the necessary environment for water creatures to thrive. To say you were currently fascinated by the colorful fishes swirling around it would be an understatement; it was like all your thoughts had vanished, replaced with only 'fish' in broad, bold letters in your mind.

So of course you were a little startled when a tall, strong lady decided to pick you up and steal you away with a giggle, like you were just a sack of potatoes to be delivered. Kiku quickly quieted down your whining by pointing to an adjacent stand... Game stand, you corrected yourself, currently being attempted to be won by Kin'emon, the big price being something related to cranes - all you could tell, from afar - next to a very amused O-Tsuru.

"Bet she's gonna win it herself after he miserably fails a hundred times ?" You snorted, looking up at Kiku.

"Oh, definitely. It would not be fun otherwise !" She laughed earnestly, putting you down.

The both of you settled to hang around where you'd paused, simply taking to people watching, taking a breath to just exist. You didn't always get a chance to, with how busy Kiku could get, often. You understood it well enough, being so as well with all the work needed around the country in so many various forms; you sighed and stretched, a little relieved to get a silent break with her.

You didn't mind either when she decided to break it with a call of your name before her question.

"What made you settle on the musketeer ?"

"Mmh," you thought, "I'm not sure. I actually have to admit I'm not that well-versed in the details of their history. I just liked the swashbuckling genre... But even then, I'm no professional connoisseur. A little silly to say, I'll give you that."

"Although, only a little." Kiku nudged your side with her hand. "Why pick it then ?"

"It feels me. Or something like that. People tend to associate the vibes of them with me, and I kind of did too. It just speaks to me, and I see myself in it even if I don't necessarily know a huge amount of information about it."

"I see. I can understand that, I think."

You hummed, letting her gather her answer.

"You do share many values of it. And, additionally, yes the aesthetic suits you." You both shared a chuckle. She proceeded to list a few things she thought matched well with you, from the genre and notions of it.

You shook your head a little, giving her an affectionate look that she offered back. Silently, without needing to say anything, the two of you exchanged a gentle hug. You decided to trade back some compliments to her yourself, equally, feeling her smile against your shoulder.

A cry of victory made you separate, turning to see Kin'emon cheering loudly.

"Times are changing, I suppose." Kiku ominously commented, making you snort once again.

♣

Fulfilling, memorable, treasurable. Words from many you could pick to describe what this day had been for you, leaving you tired in all the best ways, although you knew you'd probably pass out the moment you'd sit on a cushion once you all decided to make it back to Kin'emon's and O-Tsuru's residence.

Currently resting, giving your poor legs a break before you leave the festival for a more private birthday setting, you made a noise in the back of your throat, bringing the attention of your family back to you.

"I wanted to thank you guys. For today. And the surprises. And.. Well. For being in my life. Sappy stuff like that, you know." You managed to gradually say then huff out, a little embarrassed.

"Shouldn't we be the ones showering you in thanks and 'sappy stuff' ?" Remarked Kiku, not without a raised eyebrow and a toothy grin she hid behind a closed fist.

You threw your hands up, palms open.

"No more ! I beg. I think I'll explode."

Kin'emon laughed earnestly, visibly stopping himself from what he'd been apparently about to say, giving you an adoring look you chose to avoid, although not without a little smile his way first.

"At the very least, accept us cheering for today, dear." O-Tsuru objected.

You sighed playfully, giving in with a bow of your head, immediately followed by earnest words from all three.

Loudly interrupted by a surprised shout, from a voice you knew well.

Shishilian appraised you four with glowing pride, visibly pleased with your choice of costume. Kiku immediately offered a short explanation of the occasion and their surprise to you.

Of course, the lion didn't waste a second to then praise your choice, looking all too smug - faltering when you mentioned enjoying the romance in the fictional genre you so liked, changing the subject immediately with a grumpy grumble.

"How about we keep this moment immortalized, instead, now, mh ?" Shishilian offered, bringing confusion to you and your group. He gruffly showed what he'd been in town for - a brand new camera, one of those imported technologies they'd been able to get here thanks to some help. Your friend gestured to you all, with the camera, and taking the hint, the four of you gathered close, posing each in your own decided ways; by that you meant all three of them had their elegance and grace in their stances while you decided to be obnoxious to ruin the seriousness of it, at the last second, ending up looking goofy and dorky on the resulting photo. You were proud of yourself when you saw the way your lovers and friends appreciated the silliness in their own ways.

You weren't sure what the rest of the slowly finishing day had in store for you, or the next month, the end of the year, or the one after it... One thing you knew,

you were loved, and cared for, and there was no changing that, not anytime soon.

hope you liked it ! leave a comment and reblog !

[valraelo]

Characters: Lillandlas (thalmor oc), Araelo (oc), (mentioned) Valrandil (oc)

Warnings: Fictional racism

It hadn't been easy for Araelo to get used to thalmor presence in his home but he didn't have any choice on whether they stayed or not, so then his only option was to deal with it.

He had smelled it on one of the two invaders as soon as they had been in the same room as him, he smelled of beast, and, while he did think this would have meant war between him and the justiciar, the little smiles he had been blessed with whenever they had been near each other had told him that perhaps he could find a pack mate in him, rather than a foe.

They never properly spoke, he was always either with his companion or with Valrandil, and he dare not reveal someone else's beast blood to others around him in case they might not be aware of it already, he could not possibly betray one of his own in that manner.

It was on a beautiful sunny day that he finally saw the chance to speak to him, as he saw him lying on the grass outside, near the lake, basking in the sun in his birthday suit. He wasn't sure if he would shoo him away considering the condition he was in, but he thought it was best to give it a shot while he had an opportunity.

His skin was a beautiful golden colour, which of course is the norm for altmer, but his was especially golden; his hair though did not share the same colour, being a white purer than his own hair. His face was shaved but the rest of his body was incredibly hairy, certainly a lot more than Valrandil's. When one looked at him compared to others it was very clear he had beast blood in him.

He approached the altmer carefully and, once he felt he was close enough, he cleared his throat to make his presence known.

The thalmor placed a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the sun, and turned to look at him.

"Ah, the big bad wolf, so nice to get to talk with you. Do sit down."

And with that he closed his eyes again and rested his arm behind his head.

Araelo did as he was told.

"My name is Araelo." He introduced himself.

"Lillandlas, but you must have already heard the others say it."

He had, Lillandlas' name had been said much more than his own, in fact there wasn't a single time that he had been called by his name, always being referred to as “the bosmer”.

“I had no idea Valrandil was friends with the thalmor.”

He tried to be careful with his words, not wanting to sound like he was upset about this.

“He's more friends with my colleague than me, I just tag along.”

His tone was light hearted, he didn't seem bothered.

“How come you're visiting for so long?”

“There aren't many places where we can express ourselves so freely.” “Is this about your beast blood or you being lovers?”

Araelo only realised what he had said after it had slipped from his lips, Lillandlas and his colleague had not spoken openly about anything regarding their love lives, he was being incredibly rude with his question and he just hadn't noticed before it came out of his mouth.

Lillandlas laughed at his question.

“Of course you would know what we are, you can smell my blood and you can smell our sweat and semen, I can't keep any secrets from you.” He smiled fondly at Araelo, squinting as the sun was in his eyes.

“It's about both those things and my nudism, which I'm surprised you didn't mention in your list.”

“I'm sorry for bringing it up--your love life.” He tried to apologise, of course Lillandlas didn't seem upset but it was still in his best interest to not mess things up with him.

“It's okay, everyone essentially knows, we simply can't discuss it openly. It would interfere with our job.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

“Is there something between you and Valrandil?”

Lillandlas certainly seemed comfortable, asking such questions, though Araelo had asked for it by starting the topic.

“If you asked him, he would say no.”

“And if I asked you?”

He pressed.

“I would have to say no too, I suppose. Valrandil will never show me his love, I am only a pest to him.”

“I didn't think so, he treats you like filth, but it is curious how he allows you to sleep in his home. Are you more of a servant?”

Araelo thought about it, was he a servant? Did he do anything around the house?

“I'm entertainment.”

“It's a shame slavery was abolished, you look like you would be very willing to be owned by him.”

Araelo chucked nervously, he didn't like where the conversation was headed.

He tried thinking of a new topic, he quickly asked the first question that came to mind.

"Do you feel no guilt having to murder people?"

It was a very sudden and bold question to ask, he briefly regretted it, worrying that Lillandlas might have a negative reaction to it.

"It's an execution, I'm simply enforcing the law."

His tone seemed completely calm, there was no trace of anger in it, and so he felt comfortable pressing for more.

"But it must feel bad to some extent, taking someone else's life just like that."

"Do you feel bad when you take a life?"

Araelo was taken aback by the question, it felt like an incredibly disrespectful one, though perhaps his own questions had been no less bad.

"Why are you assuming I have done that?" "You are a beast too, and none of us have gone without taking down prey, I doubt you've starved yourself."

He couldn't possibly be comparing murder to the overwhelming bloodlust one gets in their beast form.

"Well, it is different, I had lost control, I didn't mean to do it."

"Are you from Valenwood?"

Another surprising question, he didn't see what it had to do with anything they had talked about, still he answered it.

"Yes, I was born there." "Was your cannibalism guiltless too, then?"

Araelo furrowed his eyebrows, he didn't like whenever people insinuated he was a cannibal.

"How can you assume I ate people simply because I was born there?" "Is it true?"

Araelo didn't want to dignify such a question with an answer, but he did feel much pressure to do just that, and so he reluctantly answered. "Yes."

It didn't feel good to admit that the stereotype was completely true for him.

"Do you feel guilty for it?" "I always thought it was only food, and that it was what we had to do."

"Then mine were just orders to follow. It is what I have to do.

Lillandlas laid it out right then, clear as day, he was guiltless in his eyes, completely clear of sin, and though Araelo still did not agree with his actions, though he would never openly say so, he felt that that's where the conversation had to end, as the point had been made to him.

There was silence between them for a while until Lillandlas finally broke the silence.

“How well can you control your beast form, Araelo?”

Araelo was surprised at hearing his name coming from Lillandlas' lips, it was a sign of respect he didn't receive on the daily.

“I can turn on command as long as the moon is out, but once I turn I can't go back until morning.”

“Then tonight we are a pack. I will meet you outside the stables when the sun sets, don't make me wait too long.”

Araelo raised his eyebrows. A pack? He had never formed a pack with another person. The thought excited him, the idea seemed wonderful to him.

“I will meet you there.” -Cine

[lilac-5ky]

A Birthday Plot (Takasugi birthday oneshot)

A/N: As his legally wedded wife, I think that me writing an incredibly lengthy piece for his birthday, surprises no one. Takasugi is a character whom I utterly love, one who has helped me deal with many self issues and gotten me to accept myself. People outside the anime community will mock you if you suggest that a fictional character was enough to change your life, yet I feel no shame to admit that without him or Gintama, my mental state would have deteriorated a long time ago. Takasugi is the one who basically saved me and he's brought a great deal of happiness to my life, and for that, I will always be grateful to him and Sorachi. SO YEAH BEFORE THIS TURNS INTO A MUSHY EMOTIONAL SPEECH, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED SHINSUKE 💜💜💜

p.s. i really did time this to japan time so that it gets posted the same second his bday comes. aye.

Warning: Don't get fooled by the fluff, this turns into a full mode smut. But you know, it's full of love and fluff too so uwu.

adding this gif bcs his expression here overwhelms me and i wanna squeal.

Birthdays are special. You’ve always been a firm believer in that. When you are a child, you get to eat all the cake in the world undisturbed, getting coddled by family and friends alike. No one complains about you spending the entire day playing ‘kick the can’. No one asks you to do chores; you are free to do as you wish.

Birthdays really are special, but as time went by, you saw a less selfish reason as to why that was. It’s the one day of the year when you can celebrate and honor a person’s life and very existence, when you can return all the joy and happiness you’ve received tenfold. When you truly care about someone, their birthdays have even more importance than your own. Yet when it comes to the one you cared about, things did not come as easily.

Takasugi was never a big fan of birthdays. Even when the two of you were younger, he always spent his birthday like any other ordinary day at Shoka Sonjuku, bickering and getting into trouble with his friends. While Katsura wished him a “happy birthday” without fail, Gintoki’s teasing never seized. If anything, it was just an opportunity to remind him how another year had gone by with him not growing an inch, leading to even more arguing between the two.

At the end, Shouyou-sensei was the only one to try and make this day somewhat memorable, letting you play to your heart’s content and prepping a small gift for each of his pupils’ special day.

When it came down to you, Takasugi’s birthday was perhaps even more valued than your own. Ever since you were mere brats, your eyes had always been set on him, more so than on any of your other friends. For reasons you failed to understand, his happiness meant a great deal to you, and so, even if it was nothing but a small thing, you wanted to give him something that would make him smile.

The first present you could remember giving him was the silliest of the lot; a makeshift bouquet of freshly cut mountain flowers, one that you’d hastily shaped on your way back from the temple school when he wasn’t looking. It wasn’t much of a gift, for sure, but that was all you had to offer at the time.

The two of you paced side by side as per usual, the distance between your houses being relatively small and all. Though the walk was short, your anxiety made it feel as if you’d been on the road for hours. The fact that no one was around was enough to make your palms all sweaty, the green of the stems molding with your fingertips. It didn’t help that he’d chosen this day to keep to himself either, as if he had some sort of premonition as to what was about to happen.

Doing your best to forsake that gut wrenching feeling, you held onto the flowers as if your life depended on it. His house was the first on the line, yet rather than taking a left turn to reach your own home, you tagged along with him. Surprisingly enough he didn’t seem to mind, his attention turning to you only after you’d reached his front door. It was time.

“H-here!” You shut your eyes, extending the bouquet for him to grab. “Happy Birthday, Shinsuke-kun.”

The second he took them in his own hands, you had vanished into thin air. Your heart was beating so loud, that by the time your feet stopped moving, it felt as if your entire body was tossed inside an oven. When the oxygen returned to your lungs, you realized what a big idiot you were. Instead of waiting to see his reaction, you had ran away like a coward. What if he hated you now? What if he didn’t want to see you again? How would you face him? And lastly, why on earth would you gift a boy flowers?

Perhaps you were unsure of what that feeling that you felt for him was, but if you’d stayed just a second longer, you’d get to see how a bright shade of red clung onto his cheeks as well, his lips trembling between a frown and a shy smile.

Your second attempt at a birthday gift didn’t come until his next birthday. Despite neither of you bringing it up, the embarrassment of the flower incident managed to haunt you all year long. At times you mused over what had actually happened to the bouquet, though knowing him he’d probably discarded it. Well, that’d didn’t matter. It wasn’t a particularly bright idea to begin with, and now you were given a chance to redeem yourself. No matter what, past mistakes would not be repeated, a rule that did not necessarily apply to new ones.

This year, you had decided to put your mothers culinary teachings into practice by opting for a different kind of present, one that just about anyone would be able to appreciate; homemade cookies. Surely a birthday cake was far more suited for the occasion, but your skills were not honed for such a thing just yet. Cookies would have to do. Besides, your mother assured that they were most delicious.

The first thing you did in the morning of Takasugi’s birthday was to hide your gift underneath your desk, away from the prying eyes of your friends. For once, this was a present you could actually be proud of; packed in a small fancy box and kept together by an even fancier looking ribbon, the cookies looked as if they were straight from the bakery. Those half shredded daises you gave him last year would finally be erased from memory.

When the opportunity to approach him presented itself, you fished the box out, walking towards the boy with the biggest smile on your face. There was no reason for you to run away anymore, not when this was a guaranteed success.

“Happy Birthday, Shinsuke!”

The boy arched a brow, his curious expression studying your own and then the box, before finally relieving you of the burden. Things were moving along way better than they did last year. Or so you thought until the ribbon came off and you found yourselves staring at an empty metallic pit. Well, semi empty, that was. Other than a leftover cookie and many, many crumbs, everything you’d worked so hard for had turned into smoke.

Without saying a word, Takasugi picked up the remaining cookie, shifting it with his fingers while looking at it in disbelief. You didn’t know what to say. There was no way that box was empty when you left the house, and yet, there was no way to explain this. At least not until a certain silver-haired troublemaker passed you by with a face full of crumbs.

“Gintoki!” The two of you growled together in unison.

And that was how your birthday surprise was once again ruined.

It wasn’t until about three or four years later that you dared break through that birthday curse. In all those years that went by, you’d managed to identify those weird, swirling-like emotions as love. Or at least an early stage of it. With time, you were able to keep them under control around him, yet they remained the reason as to why you could never come up with a proper birthday gift. Celebrating another failure would not do. Next time you attempted to gift him something, it needed to be proper and well thought of, a present that equaled your feelings.

At least that was the thought, until the four of you officially joined the war. With Shouyou-sensei’s rescue being your primary goal, no one had the time nor the mind to fool around anymore. Not when death and destruction loomed right around the corner. However, Sakamoto’s eventual arrival did have an impact, restoring some of that past liveliness in your lives. After all, soldiers or not, you were still teenagers. A little fun here and there when the war was in a stalemate wouldn’t hurt.

With Takasugi’s birthday approaching, you found it hard to concentrate on anything other than finding the perfect gift, while he seemed to focus on literally anything else. When he wasn’t in the middle of fighting over every single petty thing with Gintoki, he was constantly working on new strategies and tactics, doing his best to predict every possible enemy movement in advance. His dedication was admirable, earning the respect of many fighters among your ranks. Yet that perseverance of his limited your gift choices, rounding them down to tools of practical usage. How unimaginative.

Time kept flowing, and you’d been unable to come up with a good idea, until one day you overheard an argument between him and Gintoki. The latter was accusing him of being unable to see past a meter because of his height, while Takasugi put the blame on the overgrown flora. It didn’t take long for things to get heated between them, each trying to bring the other’s head onto the ground in a contest to see who could reach lower. While an entertaining sight to behold, you had no time to spare on watching, not when you had finally come up with the greatest idea.

On the day of his birthday, you found yourself aimlessly circling through the woods. According to Katsura, the boy set out for the forest around noon, hoping to scout the area before nightfall. It wasn’t unlike Takasugi to take on objectives all by himself, refusing to ask for help even in the face of daunting tasks. Aware of that stubborn nature of his, you decided that rather than waiting around for him to return, it’d be better to go on the lookout yourself.

After searching just about every nook and cranny of the place, you were unable to find any sign of Takasugi, or anyone else for that matter. He might as well have turned back from a different path, leaving you to stand all alone in the desolate woods. The sun was about to go down and the first batch of stars were already appearing upon the sky. It was time to go. Finding him in the dark would be impossible anyway.

Having let out a disheartened sigh, you were about to give up when the sound of leaves rustling from up above caught your interest.

“Shinsuke?” You asked, perplexed as to why his face was buried between branches and leaves. A pair of sharp green eyes looked down on you, with the boy’s back leaning against the trunk and his arms crossed over his chest.

“Y/N.” He acknowledged without budging an inch. “Why are you here?”

“I was looking for you. Zura said you’d be here.”

The light hum of the cicadas was the only answer you received.

“I came here to bring you this.” You went on, ushering him to grab the bag from your hands. “It’s your birthday, remember? When I saw this I thought that you might find some use for it and I uhm…” Panic seeped through your words as you watched him take the pair of binoculars out. “I hope it’s to your liking. Happy Birthday!”

Takasugi carefully examined the object, his gesture reminding you of how keenly he had once studied that cookie you gave him. Though you couldn’t tell from down there, he seemed at the very least interested, bringing the binoculars to his eyes and then looking far into the distance.

“You can use these to spot ambushes or enemies in general, but you could also use them to gaze at pretty things from up close. I’ve seen you stare at the stars or the sea or other pretty things such as-“

“You.” He interrupted, the direction of his binoculars shifting.

The second you understood the meaning of his suggestion, you felt your entire face turning red, an expression he could easily spot with his new toy. Did he really mean what he just said? Did he really find you pretty? Did he actually look at you? All sorts of thoughts spiraled through your brain, until you realized that he wasn’t done talking.

“…should head back in. I’ll take care of things and join shortly.” At the sound of his words, you felt a weird rush of embarrassment and disappointment, resulting in your legs picking up a quick pace on their own.

Just when you thought you’d been able to escape, the sound of his voice made your feet come to a halt.

“Oh and Y/N?” He hesitated, briefly contemplating his own words. “Thank you. I really appreciate this.”

That was the first and the last actual gift you managed to give him. The war, your defeat, his injury, sensei… all those events that transpired changed Takasugi in unimaginable ways. Just like the rest of you, he’d lost so much during those years, yet he refused to ever let go. Ten years had passed since then; ten years of him living his own life as if it was borrowed; ten years of him throwing himself down the path of vengeance.

Although it was hard for you to see him progressively destroy himself, you knew that without a purpose he’d truly lose it. You understood that better than anyone. After all, you’d spent all these years by his side.

Perhaps you really were Takasugi’s final selfish need, a remnant of the past he couldn’t forsake. Be it persistence on your side or tolerance on his, you clung onto one another like no one else, promising to see the end of things together no matter what that meant. This was your pledge.

Considering birthdays during such a crucial point of your journey wasn’t the most sensible thing to do, yet part of you could not completely abandon your previous way of living. Even when he had no intention of celebrating the occasion, you found yourself reflecting upon the past times, wishing that just this once, you could return to the girl who schemed around his birthday plans.

“Why are you in such deep thought?”

The sound of his voice made you turn around to the direction of your bed. Despite being all dressed up, he was still sitting idle, not particularly willing to leave the comfort of your covers.

A light frown of his as you approached him was all it took to make you smile. Even when you’d grown accustomed to seeing that face on regular occasion, it didn’t seem to lose its appeal. He remained as endearing as ever.

You hummed softly, taking a seat by his side. Bringing up the past would likely turn the mood sour and foil all plans for the day. You had to carefully consider your choices before giving him an answer, or else everything you’d worked for would go to waste.

Takasugi patiently awaited your response, his eye trailing down to his fingers, mindlessly tugging at the roll of bandage between them.

“I was thinking about going to the city today.” You admitted, claiming the bandage from his hands. He stood still, watching as you pushed the hair off his forehead, wrapping the fabric around his left eye with great care.

“What for?” He asked, a pout taking shape on his face. Even when he let you handle such things for him, he’d much rather be the one taking care of himself. At the end, past this imposing and striking appearance, lied a bullheaded child.

“To replenish your stash.”

“My stash?” He arched a brow.

“Well…” You chuckled awkwardly, doing your best to play the part. “Can you blame me? This heatwave is unbearable and-”

“You drunk my yakult?” He interrupted, shooting you a glare.

“Yes… but I was planning on compensating you, as you see!”

It didn’t matter whether you upset him or not, as long as he took the bait. All you wanted was for him to be distracted enough so that when you reeled it back in, he’d be sure to follow. After all, this was nothing but a carefully planned ruse to get him to celebrate his own birthday.

With an apologetic smile, you cupped his face, ignoring his unamused expression.

“I’m sorry, I know you don’t like it when I touch your stuff.”

He shook his head, some of his annoyance dissipating.

“Would you like to come with me? It’s been a long time since we last walked together, and well, carrying all that yakult by myself would be exhausting.”

“Just how much did you consume?”

If anyone heard the conversation between the two of you, they’d assume that you had committed a grave sin. His tone was stern and his expression strained, as if you’d just revealed to him that you’d sided with the Bakufu. Seeing such side of him resurface brought great joy to you, relieved that this part of him had survived the war.

“All of.. it?” This was a big oversight. Checking his actual stash beforehand completely slipped your mind. You could only hope that the amount was formidable enough to pique his interest.

“Three refrigerators?”

You widened your eyes, finding it hard to believe that he actually kept this much inside the ship.

“Y—yeah! I told you I was quite thirsty.” You chuckled, hoping that your plan wouldn’t fall apart now.

Takasugi kept quiet, his expression tensing up once more before relaxing into a curved smile. Fooling him was hard, but when it came to his beloved beverage, you could only hope his excessive defense would drop even for a bit.

“You’ll pay for this.” He said in a rather ominous tone, briefly erasing the thoughts from your mind.

“O-of course!” You nodded, returning your attention to the unfinished wrapping of his eye. Going about three more times over it, you tucked the loose ends in the back, making sure that it was secure enough. “So, you are coming?”

He sighed, rolling his eye ever so slightly. Success!

Unable to contain your excitement, you flashed a smile at him. Today would be so much fun. Even if he got mad about you disrespecting his wishes, he was bound to forgive that little scheme once he got to see the actual surprise you’d planned. Or at least, so you hoped.

Leaning closer to his face, you pressed your lips softly against his bandaged eye, earning yet another annoyed scoff from him.

I’m sorry, Shinsuke. But this is the only way.

“All set, let’s go!”

Surprisingly enough, Takasugi seemed to be in a far better mood when you met up on the docks. Once you’d finished fixing his bandages, he went back to his own room, giving you time to change into something nicer. After all, you wanted to look pretty on his birthday. A light blue kimono decorated by cherry blossoms was your outfit of choice, paired with a silky pink obi. Your hair was shaped in a slightly excessive updo style, kept together by a dark blue hairpin.

On second thought, maybe this was too much for a walk in the city, a fact that he also took notice in.

“You look…” He furrowed his eyebrows, seemingly searching for the right words.

“Weird? Is it too much? Should I get changed?”

“No. Just…” He walked closer, leaning as close to your face as his hat would allow. “Pretty.”

You had to suppress the urge to attach yourself onto his arm, with your entire face lighting up at his comment. Maybe if you were alone, he wouldn’t mind, but in front of all his comrades, he still had to keep appearances up. It’s fine, you’d have enough time to show your affection for him later on. For now, moving things according to the plan matters more.

On the way to the city, the two of you walked side by side, the conversation unsurprisingly falling back to the topic of work and his goals. If one thing about Takasugi remained the same in all those years, that was his tendency to throw himself into his personal aspirations, which was basically another word for ‘workaholic’. Still, you were never bothered by that. This was one of his many charms.

Things on board had been quiet for the most part, and so when he asked you if anything interesting had occurred, you didn’t have much to say. Truth was, you spent more time inside the ship than he did. While Takasugi was busy going from spaceship to spaceship, personally handling the meetings with the Harusame, you stayed back, the main focus of your job being babysitting the new recruits.

Still, it wasn’t as if you could complain. Your communication skills rather outmatched your battle prowess. If anything, you’d be dead weight on the battlefield. Besides, the majority of the time, there was always a funny story to be shared with him.

This week’s story involved one of the newest members of the Kiheitai, the son of a farmer who’d joined about two months ago, eager to serve the cause even when that meant leaving the warmth of his home behind. For the most part, he seemed to adjust well enough, if one overlooked the whole Matako incident.

“What is the Matako incident?” Takasugi inquired with an already entertained expression. He was well aware of how ridiculous such stories could get.

The infamous Matako incident was a series of events that followed Takasugi’s latest trip to one of those planets with over ten syllables in their names. While he was gone, there was a small gathering to celebrate one of your most recent alliances with another mercenary tribe. As expected, everyone was in a joyful mood, drinking perhaps more than they could handle.

One of those people was the new recruit, who’d drunk until he could barely stand on two feet, slurring and bumping his way closer to your table. At first, you thought he needed something, but when he dropped onto his knees before Matako, you knew what was up. A love confession followed, with the man struggling to express his sincere feelings. At the end, all he managed to do was throw up all over her skirt, resulting in the blonde firing bullets at his feet until he dropped into the sea.

Takasugi snickered out loud, his right eye falling shut while he laughed.

“The poor guy was bedridden for an entire week after that.” You chimed in with a chuckle of your own. “Matako refuses to apologize and he hasn’t even looked her way since. What a tragedy.”

“I told you not to let fools aboard.”

“He is not half bad with a sword. Plus, I do understand where he’s coming from.”

“Fools tend to relate to one another.” Takasugi sneered, earning a playful nudge to his shoulder.

“That’s not it!” You protested. “It reminds me of how hard I tried to make you like me back then.”

“Hmm? There was no need for you to try.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I wonder…” He smirked, the tone of his voice rather suggestive.

Before you could ask further questions, Takasugi stopped walking, making you realize that you were standing right outside Edo Mart. Damn, all this mindless talking had you completely forget about your plan. If you went yakult shopping this early, then everything would fall apart.

Sliding in front of him, you extended both hands and legs in a dramatic manner to block his entrance. Perplexed, Takasugi tried to move past you, yet you stood in the way again. His confusion progressively shifted to annoyance, and you knew you had to say something, or else things would take a turn for the worse.

Bringing your arms to your stomach, you put your best strained expression on, making it seem as if you were in severe pain.

“Can’t we get something to eat first? My stomach is killing me.” You protested, keeping up the tormented grimace.

“I’ll let you have one of the yakult.” He argued, attempting to push past, when you clung onto him with both hands, pressing your face against his chest as if you were about to faint.

“It’ll be too late by then… please, let us get some food now.” You pleaded with teary eyes.

With a sigh, Takasugi pulled you back on both feet, briefly glancing around him. Except for a few exiting customers, no one seemed to notice the dramatic scene unfolding right in front of their eyes. The last thing you wanted was for people to realize that the two of you were wanted terrorists with a large bounty placed over your heads. But then again, who would assume that terrorists went yakult shopping in broad daylight?

Indulging your whims, Takasugi stepped away from the door, letting you lead him to wherever it was you wanted to go. One would assume that your destination would be some sort of food selling vendor or restaurant. So when the two of you came to stand outside a pastry shop, naturally, he failed to hide his own surprise.

“You need cake to quench your hunger?”

At this point, making stuff up was becoming second nature. Surely it was getting ridiculous, but what else could you do?

“Well… I heard cake is a good counter to nausea.” Plus, a birthday celebration with no cake just doesn’t feel right.

“I told you to quit exchanging letters with that idiot.” At the mention of your childhood friend, Takasugi clenched his jaw, despite him being the one to bring him up.

“It’s not that, it’s just that I… damn, I feel nauseous again.” You feigned dizziness, with your hand covering your mouth.

Following your gesture, Takasugi seemed to be taking your theatrics more seriously. Inspecting you from head to toe, you felt his stare pierce right through you, an expression of visible dread overtaking his features.

“Y/N. Don’t tell me you…” He insinuated with a hushed voice.

“What?” It was then that you realized how he’d been fixated on your belly all along.

“What?! Of course not, that’s not it!” You assured him, frantically waving your hands up and down as if to erase his suspicions. “I just can’t remember the last time I had cake and well I… uh…” Even now, he didn’t seem fully convinced that an unplanned pregnancy wasn’t behind today’s shenanigans.

“Be right back!” You yelled, throwing yourself into the store as fast as possible.

Just how much worse could things get already?

Not long after, you came out of the door with a sole piece of strawberry shortcake in hand. Had you opted for more than that, he’d most definitely grow suspicious, if he weren’t already, that was.

Though reluctant at first, Takasugi agreed to take a seat for as long as you ate your dessert, settling down at a table by the door. For a guy that was hunted down by the entire police force of Edo, he seemed overly relaxed, with his head hanging back and his legs stretched underneath the table. Perhaps all those recent diplomatic meetings had finally taken their toll.

“Feeling any better?” He asked, peering at you through his half-shut eye.

“Mhm, much better!” You grinned, pushing yet another spoonful past your lips. “Want some?”

He was about to say something regarding sugar rush and idiotic samurais, when you stuffed his mouth with cake. Your gesture most definitely caught him off guard, a muffled grunt evading him as he stubbornly pursed his lips around the spoon. In the end, he was left with no other choice but to swallow.

“How is it?” You asked as he took the spoon off your hands.

“Edible.”

You chuckled, pushing the cake towards the center of the table. No matter his lackluster comment, it was obvious that the dessert was to his liking, with his spoon stealing bites off the plate every now and then. Your first objective was completed.

“So, what was it that you liked about me?” You dropped your spoon, leaving the remaining bits for him to dig in. “You said I didn’t need to put in any effort.”

“I figured that if I left you behind, you’d probably die on your own.” Takasugi shrugged, a smirk appearing on his lips the moment he picked up on your pouty expression. “That and because… you prove to me there are still things to be preserved.”

“I do?”

“You still don’t get it? This planet is a home for idiots. At least one should remain to upkeep traditions. A pure-hearted idiot like you would do just fine.”

You weren’t sure if he meant to compliment or insult you. Knowing him, the one went hand in hand with the other.

“You really look down on me.”

“Do I?” He teased, licking the cream off his spoon. “Don’t worry. At the end of the world, I’d feel much more confident caving in the arms of said idiot.”

Once Takasugi finished his cake, the two of you hit the road, resuming your original yakult replenishment quest. Or at least, that’s what he thought. The day was far from over and so were your plans.

After a while of strolling through the streets of Edo, the wonderful scent of lavender led you to a local flower shop. Admittedly, this wasn’t part of your schedule, but when you came to remember those sorry daisies from back then, you figured that a bouquet would add a nice little touch.

“Shinsuke?”

His ears perked up at the sound of his name.

“Can we stop for some flowers? I want my room to be a bit more lively.”

Rather than giving you an answer, he gestured towards the door. You had to admit, he was far more agreeable than you’d expect him to be.

Considering the impulsive nature of your purchase and the large variety the store provided, making a choice was rather difficult. Roses smelled divine, but they were too much of a cliché. Spider lilies were beautiful, yet a symbol of death. Clenching your fingers around your purse, you found yourself unable to make up your mind, despite the florist being eager to assist.

Just as you were about to go for one of the more ordinary assortments, a bouquet reminiscent of the one you once gave him caught your attention. Perhaps revisiting the past wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

Back then you had been too eager for the both of you to forget, yet now you couldn’t help but wonder whether he remembered or not.

“Daisies…” He smirked, picking at one of the petals with his thumb and index. “Aren’t you a bit too old to be plucking flowers?”

Holding the bouquet out of his reach, you scoffed right in his face.

“I don’t need to do that to be certain of your affections.”

A muffled chuckle followed your words. Despite neither of you willingly admitting to it, bickering with one another like this had always been a welcome break from the harsh reality. Such were some of the memories you treasured the most.

“What’s next?” Takasugi asked, seemingly having given up on the idea of yakult shopping.

You looked at the sky; the sun beamed at its peak. There was still time for you to pick his actual gift up, though perhaps it’d be better to get it sooner than later.

With a smile, you took a step forward, pouring back into the streets side by side.

Noticeably, the pace of your steps had slowed down, with Takasugi stealing glances at the windows of the shops. He didn’t seem particularly interested in making a purchase, though he did end up buying some tobacco for his kiseru. Shopping with him like that made it seem as if things were back to what they used to be, with the two of you looking like an ordinary every-day couple.

At times, you did muse over what it’d be like to lead a normal life with him. Had the outcome of the war been different, would things also be different between you? Would he end up making an honest living without having to look over his shoulder? Would you be leading the kind of life your family hoped for? Would the five of you gather up and share drinks like you once did?

Though such a life was enticing, it was far from reality. No matter how many chances you were given at a normal life, you’d always choose life on the run as long as that meant you got to run with him.

After a while of browsing the stores, you reached the entrance of a workshop, one that belonged to an acclaimed artisan. Naturally, figuring out a suitable present for Takasugi involved hours upon hours of you bending and twisting your brain around his personality and interests. Unlike back then, he wasn’t just a mere friend to you anymore. He was the man you shared your life with; your gift had to reflect as much, and that was how you came to pick said artisan for the job.

“I placed an order a while back. Mind if I grab it real quick?”

He shook his head dismissively, settling against the wall.

Your entrance was followed by the high-pitched ring of the doorbell, its sound notifying the owner. He was a man in his late 50’s, with a prominent jaw and a receding hairline of gray color being among his more striking features. Upon seeing you, his marble-like eyes lit up in recognition, a most welcoming expression carved into his face.

Luckily, he cut straight to the chase, ushering you to follow him to the back where he kept his creations. Though small, his desk overflowed with all sorts of items, from time-worn clocks and antiques, to complex jewelry and sword handles. That was one of Edo’s most versatile artists for you.

The man went through the piles of objects until he fished out a shimmering handguard. You took a step closer to inspect it, the gold color twinkling within your orbs. It looked exactly as you’d pictured it, if not better. The wings of the butterfly were perfectly engraved, identical to the ones his yukata sported. It was perfect, it really was.

Satisfied with the results, you thanked the man, slipping the money across the busied counter before making your way outside.

“I wasn’t late, was I?” You asked Takasugi, smiling at the sight of him.

Perhaps you were more excited about this than he’d be, though you could only hope the gift appealed to his tastes.

He turned to face you, with his arm lazily hanging out of his yukata. Approaching him, you quickly shoved the handguard inside your obi, concealing it from him. This was not the time nor place for him to receive his present.

“Only about a hundred years too late.” He scoffed, pulling away from the wall.

“My deepest apologies, supreme governor general-sama!” You clasped your hands together.

Irked by your comment, he was about to scold you over the excessive use of formalities, when a third voice chimed in, catching you both off guard.

“Takasugi! You won’t be getting away this time!” A young man with chestnut colored hair roared, aiming at you with a bazooka from within a car. The Shinsengumi!

Before you could react on your own, your hand was clenched in Takasugi’s as the two of you ran through the streets. A shot followed, the cries of the passersby echoing in your stead.

There was no time for you to look back, with the man quite literally dragging you into a maze of back alleys. The passage was too narrow for the police vehicles to pass, yet you both knew how they’d stop at nothing to get to him.

For a second, you were tempted to shake him off, aware that he had a better chance running on his own. It was because of you that he’d gotten himself involved in this mess. You shouldn’t have been so naïve as to think that such a leisurely time in the city was still an option, yet not for one moment did he let go of you. Even if your body gave out, he’d keep the two of you moving no matter the cost. That’s just who he was.

After entering what seemed to be the millionth alleyway, you spotted what appeared to be the beginning of a forest, a series of pine trees popping behind the final rooftops. Normally you’d hate to ruin your newly bought kimono with mud and twigs, but you were left with no choice. It was hide or fight and, admittedly, you stood no chance like this.

Takasugi was the first one to go, creating a path for you with his bare hand. Using a sword would be easier, though that'd leave an obvious trail for your pursuers to follow. It had been so long since you had heard a siren or a gunshot, but it was still too soon to rest assured. You had to keep going, and so you did, until the trees thinned out to an open field.

Surprisingly enough, you’d ended up standing right above the city, having a perfect view of the streets you previously roamed, as well as the docks. Somehow after all that running, you’d come closer to your starting point than before.

While you were busy inspecting the area below, Takasugi let go of your hand, his back disappearing past the rows of trees as he attempted to survey around.

What a disaster, you thought to yourself, wincing at your own stupidity. Had you gone to Edo Mart as planned; had you purchased the gift in advance, you wouldn’t be finding yourself in such a mess.

It was pure luck that your kimono suffered no heavy damage, other a couple of attached leaves, that was. At least you both survived, and so did the-

Where is the gift?

Throwing your hands all over your body, you patted down at the fabric, attempting to locate the handguard. You definitely remembered placing it inside your obi right before the chase ensued, but it was there no more. Not just that; somewhere along the line, your fingers let go of the bouquet. This really was an all-for-nothing disaster.

“Looking for this?” Takasugi asked, holding an object right above his head.

The handguard!

“You know, had I known of your scheming skills in prior, I’d have you replace Takechi.” He semi—jokingly said as he slowly made his way towards you.

“Next time you try to deceive someone, better make sure your lies check out. I can’t believe you don’t even know how many refrigerators we have on board.”

It seemed like even before the two of you set out on your little adventure, he knew all along. He knew, yet he’d willingly followed through on your plan as if he didn’t.

Sighing, you brought your hands to your face, brushing them over your eyes.

“I’m sorry. Really, I didn’t think it would end like this, I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“It’s fine. Let those filthy dogs chase after their own tails.”

“They lost us?” You asked, receiving a nod as a reply.

The safety of you two mattered more than a stupid birthday present, though that didn’t prevent him from triumphantly waving it in front of your face.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

He shrugged, a hint of a smirk trembling upon his lips.

“I was curious to see how far you’d go. Besides, leaving you unsupervised would lead to you doing more stupid things, wouldn’t it?”

“Well…” There was not much to be said, considering you were responsible for the outcome. “I suppose you are right.” Your voice was so meek, with your eyes looking at him like a puppy in the rain.

“All I wanted was to surprise you, but I couldn’t even manage to do something as simple.”

“You surprised me plenty.” He argued back, his gaze falling back at the handguard.

“I had this one made for you. I know that after everything, celebrating birthdays must be about the last thing on your mind, but…” You coughed, clearing your throat. “But you can’t prevent me from celebrating the birthday of the man I love. Such a day is precious to me, just like each and every day we get to spend together. I am grateful for all those days, I am grateful that you were born and I am grateful that I got to meet you.

“Shinsuke, you aren’t a samurai who only destroys. So far, you’ve been able to protect me through everything with that sword of yours, putting your soul on the line more times that I can count. This isn’t much, but hopefully it’s enough to protect you too.”

Your speech left him speechless, as he sheepishly stared into your eyes. No malice, no gratitude, no nothing.

“But uh, there is no need for you to use it if you don’t like it! You’ve been going without one for years, so perhaps you find no use for it and I could always return-”

In a rapid movement Takasugi unsheathed his sword, cutting through the air and your words in half.

“Has no one told you that asking for a gift back is rude?” He scoffed, installing the handguard at the base of the sword. Thankfully, it seemed to be a perfect fit.

Once he was done looking at it, making sure that it wouldn’t fall out, he attached his sword back to his hip.

“So you like it?”

Flashing a smile at you, Takasugi moved closer until no distance remained between you. With his hand reaching forward, he cupped your cheek ever so softly, a callused thumb rubbing at your skin as he gazed into your eyes. Somehow you’d forgotten all about your question, falling victim to his charms all over again like you always did.

“I love it.” He breathed his answer right before he claimed your lips with his.

You closed your eyes, finding comfort in the warmth of his mouth and the certainty of his touch. It didn’t matter how long you’d been running or how far the Shinsengumi had chased you. This moment right here made it worth the trouble. He was worth the trouble.

“Happy Birthday.” You whispered on top of his lips, feeling them stretch into yet another smile.

Even when he pulled away from the kiss, he didn’t pull away from you. His hand kept holding you in place, while the rough edge of his hat bumped against your forehead.

“Next time you are definitely paying for this.”

The rest of the afternoon went by in relative peace. Somehow you were able to avoid any further run-ins with the Shinsengumi, the sole sign of a police vehicle being the distant echo of a faraway siren. Even so, Takasugi seemed to be on the edge, with his fingers itching to grab the hilt of his sword at the slightest of sounds. Considering everything that went down, you could hardly blame him. Besides, you were too preoccupied fawning over his sword’s new appearance, feeling all giddy that he got to carry a part of you everywhere he went.

After a while of trailing through the city, the two of you managed to reach the docks. Your feet were borderline killing you, making you wish that Takasugi offered you a ride on his back like he did when you were children. Of course you never dared to ask such a thing, especially when he’d spent more than half the day glaring at you. This was far from the ideal birthday you’d planned in your brain. You hated to admit it, but there was still so much for you to learn in terms of scheming.

By the time you set foot on the ship, the sun was fully submerged into the waters below, leaving nothing but a lovely shade of saturated orange behind. Though you didn’t mind traveling through space, sunsets in Edo were a sight you would never forsake. There was no place like home.

“Ahh, what a fun day!” You exclaimed, stretching both arms above your head.

Takasugi closed the door behind you, undoing the strings of his hat.

“Fun… well, that’s a way to put it.”

You watched as he leaned against the dresser, setting his hat and sword aside.

“Come on! The weather was nice, the cake was nice, the flowers were nice, the gift was nice”

You pointed at each of your fingers as if you meant to count through every positive happening of the day, only hesitating when you reached your pinky.

“You were nice.”

He tilted his head, his lips curling into a crooked smile.

“Suggesting that I normally aren’t?”

To count all the times he glared, threatened or even killed someone these past few days, you were in need of at least three sets of extra arms. Despite that, you knew better than to consider Takasugi the evil bastard terrorist that the Bakufu and the rest of his enemies made him out to be. To count all the times he’d smiled at you, all the times he’d saved you, all those times when you’d felt as if your entire world had collapsed only to find yourself in his arms; to properly count those times, you’d need more fingers than the entire Kiheitai had to offer.

“Hmm… You have your moments."

He seemed satisfied enough with your answer, his expression softening up as the two of you shared a look. Words meant nothing when your eyes spoke for themselves, one’s image etched into the eyes of the other, adorned by sheer adoration that neither of you bothered to hide. Behind closed doors, there was no reason to.

“I’d better go get some rest.” You mumbled, a forced yawn breaking through the tension.

It wasn’t that you felt particularly sleepy, but after spending the entire day with him, he was bound to have at least a few unfinished tasks to tend to. A day of mindless fun was not enough to switch his work habits.

You were about to return to your own room when, all of a sudden, the door fell shut before you, a palm preventing it from opening.

“Oi, oi. Where do you think you are going? " Takasugi taunted with a sultry voice.

“My room?” You peered over your shoulder, a curtain of dark purple blocking your vision.

“I thought you wanted to celebrate my birthday. Go on, celebrate it. Day’s not over yet.”

The way he looked at you was enough for you to understand what “celebrating his birthday” implied. Such an amorous look was only preserved for you, with his green hue undressing a little less than your soul and a little more than your body.

Even without touching you, the attraction between your bodies was palpable, drawing the two of you closer together. His hands that constantly ached for a fight were now aching to hold you, and who were you to deny him?

The moment you turned around, you caught sight of a victorious grin, both of you aware of what was to follow. You rolled your eyes playfully, unable to hide your own smile as your hand reached forward. Grabbing a fistful of fabric, you pulled Takasugi down to you, until his body met yours and your lips met his. He sighed softly, his fingers dropping from the door around your waist, capturing you in a tight embrace free of any reservation.

You surrendered yourself to his touch, letting go of his yukata’s collar while his grip only tightened, pinning both your bodies against the door. Unlike the unbearable summer heat, his warmth was more than welcoming, enveloping your entire body down to your hips and thighs. You felt feverish, throwing your arms over his shoulders for him to take over.

Takasugi drew your bottom lip between his teeth, languidly lapping his wet tongue over it before sliding it into your mouth. You tilted your head to the side, a soft hum dissolving at the tip of your tongue as you explored each other's mouth anew. Even when you had memorized his taste, you couldn’t help yourself but seek more of it, completely in love with everything his body had to offer you.

The lack of air had your head spinning around, your only source of oxygen being that of his lungs; the only one you ever needed. With his hips pressing your waist down, he made a mess out of your thighs, your slick entrance drooling for him to fill you up in every way imaginable. Perhaps offering yourself to him as a gift would have been a far better choice than all this running around, you decided, gently bucking your hips forward.

Regrettably, Takasugi was the first to pull away, his sharp breath tickling your nose and lips. Through half-lidded eyes, you took in each other’s image, lust clouding both your features while you drew air from one another, avoiding to close the distance just yet.

His hands reached lower onto your body, possessing your every bit, with your own hand dropping down to his chest. You felt how frantically his heart beat for you, just for you. Time and time again you came to realize that this heart, this body, this man… they all belonged to you. Even if the two of you came to lose everything, you’d still be each other’s most prized possessions, a fact that not even revenge could forsake.

“What are you smirking for?” He asked with a smirk of his own.

Shaking your head, you guided him into another kiss, quick to wipe that cocky expression off his face. Whether you confronted him or not, he’d never admit to being wrapped around your finger, though there was no need to. The way his body reacted to your own spoke volumes, with his mouth granting you access once more and his hips utterly attuned to yours.

In no time, his hands were tugging at your obi, each string of your kimono coming undone between his fingers. You felt the fabric loosen up around your curves, the expensive silk curling into a ball across the tatami.

Left in nothing but your undergarment, you were exposed to his touch, fire spreading through every part his fingers came to brush. You leaned forward until your lips found his neck, smearing open-mouthed kisses all over. He was always the one to mark you with his mouth, acting as if he wanted the whole world to know you were his and only his. It was about time you returned that favor.

Parting your lips, you pursed them at the base of his neck, sucking at his skin until his pale complexion turned into a bright shade of red. Perhaps he’d have a hard time covering that one up, a fact that filled you with unprecedented pride. No future scolding or frowning could take that away from you, though at the moment, he seemed too preoccupied to even care, attempting to fill his hands with as much of you as he possibly could.

Satisfied with the result, you puckered your lips up, peppering gentle kisses down his collar bone, while you held onto his shoulders for support. You couldn’t help but notice how he felt stiffer than usual, your fingertips bumping across the various knots that his muscles formed. Your previous assumptions seemed to be correct, all those exhausting work meetings had taken their toll on his health at last, leaving him nearly drained.

You pulled away from him, catching your own reflection in his eye. Even when the things you were doing were far from innocent, there was a certain purity in his gaze, as for once, the thing his right eye saw had nothing to do with torment, turmoil, or vengeance; tranquil passion having cleansed all that.

Slowly, you brought your other hand to his cheek, watching as he pressed a feather-light kiss in the center of your palm. Your heart skipped a beat, seemingly forgetting all about the words you wanted to share with him. Fucking hell, he had no business looking this lovable, you pondered.

“Let me take care of you.” You requested, brushing a couple of disheveled purple strands off his eye.

Though skeptical at first, Takasugi came to agree, leading you both towards his futon. In a theatrical move, he lifted both hands, prompting you to strip him off his clothes. Snaking your arms around his torso, you took advantage of the position, placing your head on top of his shoulder while your hands worked on undoing his obi. The blue fabric dropped onto the floor, with his purple yukata following soon after.

For a second, you caught yourself gawking at his bare body, your eyes trailing the entirety of him up and down. Thin white lines sprawled across his near flawless complexion, remnants of past conflicts and nearly forgotten treacheries. His body that was hardened by battle and shaped by hardship, remained the most beautiful thing your eyes encountered, a spectacle only second to the sublime features of his face.

Even after all these years, you found it hard to believe that someone had the power of making you feel as if you were experiencing them for the first time all over again, yet Takasugi managed to do just that.

Before he had the chance to reprimand you over your excessive stalling, you brought both hands against his chest, pushing him down onto the covers with great force. At once, his green orb narrowed into a perfect slit, sheer fury taking over his expression. You fought the urge to laugh, ultimately failing to suppress a high pitched giggle that sneaked past your lips.

For most, receiving such a menacing glare from the leader of the Kiheitai meant certain death, yet to you, it only made your heart flutter within your chest. How could you feel any dread when he looked just like that stubborn kid you’d countless of times sparred with in the past?

All funny thoughts dissolved the moment his hand found yours, forcing you to violently crash on top of him. Even then, you couldn’t quite stop laughing at his frown, only pausing to press a hasty kiss atop his crinkled nose. I love you so much, Takasugi Shinsuke. So damn much.

Ignoring his silent protest, you lowered yourself down his thighs, making sure your hands could still reach his upper body. In reality, you’d never attempted to give him, or anyone else for that matter, a massage, though when you came to see how tense he was, you couldn’t possibly turn a blind eye. You wished to bring him some relief, just as he had so many times done for you.

Taking a deep breath, you placed both palms flat over his chest, slowly dragging them up and down his shoulders. You started by applying pressure to your wrists, rolling them hard against his stiffened muscles.

Takasugi began to relax, his scoffing giving way to a contented expression. As promised, he refrained from touching you, with his emerald orb slowly disappearing behind his eyelid. You kept on kneading his hardened skin, gathering all strength on your fingertips as you rubbed him thoroughly, glancing up lest you hurt him.

With each stroke, he appeared more delighted than before, his low breathing producing a sort of melodic sound. You were pleased to see him enjoy himself, though maintaining your movements was quite tiresome for your inexperienced hands. Still, you tried your best to switch both the pace and the pressure up, overextending your little massage session as much as possible for his sake.

Distracted by your technique, you failed to notice how you’d been grinding against his crotch all along. Each time you pushed against him, your hips would follow, pressing down against his over and over again, until a hoarse moan disrupted his once steady breathing.

You froze in place, your eyes quick to spot the red shadow that bloomed across his cheeks. Perhaps the massage was far from being the only reason behind his delight, you realized once you glanced at the solid tent between your thighs.

“Looks like your shoulders aren’t the only stiff thing about you.” You teased, softly palming his clothed erection.

“Go on, then. Take care of that too.” Takasugi cooed, his hands softly brushing over your knees as he compelled you to keep going.

Your fingers worked on undoing the knots of his fundoshi, at last setting him free. His cock sprung between your palms, already at its full length. Slowly, you traced over a vein, your fingers closing in once you reached the head. His reddened tip was already glistening with precum for you, eagerly awaiting to disappear within one of your needy holes.

Drawing your thumb over it, you spread his thick essence all over, inducing a muffled sigh to fall out of Takasugi's lips. You loved how sensitive he was to your touch. Even when getting him to this state wasn't your intention, you couldn't help but smile knowing how hard you'd gotten him.

Bringing a second hand down his length, you clenched your fingers into a pair of fists, firmly pumping him up and down. His size made it hard for your palms to cover all of him, but your gestures compensated plenty for that. Your right hand remained below his head; four fingers lightly twisting around him, with your thumb repeatedly brushing over his tip. At the same time, your left hand came to cup his balls, another moan failing to remain within his lips.

Though Takasugi had never been particularly vocal as a lover, when you were stimulating him like that, it was impossible for him to keep to himself.

“Hm, this doesn’t seem to be working.” You noted once you heard him curse out loud. “If anything, you are stiffer than before… Should I try something different?” You asked, your hands stopping only for a moment.

Despite his eye being shut for the majority of your playtime, he was now watching your every move with bated breath. Slowly, you let go of his cock, bringing your hands between your thighs to pick your undergarment off the way. He wanted you to expose yourself so badly, yet for now he was content with merely glancing at the hardened peaks your nipples formed below the creamy linen.

You lined your hips with his own before finally, sinking down onto him, his entire cock sheathing deep within your gummy walls. His grunt was overshadowed by your moan, the sensation of being whole enough to make you shudder. He was stretching you so good while all you could do was gush over him, your womb aching to be filled to the brim with his seed.

It was his turn to smirk, your reaction bringing him great amusement. Normally he'd be the one to push you down, pleasuring the both of you until your lips could barely shape his name, but for the time, he remained perfectly still. He loved to see you struggle, knowing that even when you'd been together since you were teens, you were still overwhelmed by him.

“Something wrong?” He asked in a condescending tone, conveniently forgetting all about how a moment ago he was the one to lose himself in your hands.

“N-nothing at all.” You stuttered as you attempted to regain your composure. If you gave him the chance, he’d overthrow you without thinking twice.

Dropping your palms back onto his chest, you raised your hips, figuring that it’d be easier for you to keep going with just the tip inside. At a slow pace, you rocked your body against him, sensually drawing circles with your hips all the while maintaining eye contact. His smirk persisted, the only sign to betray his true feelings being that of his fingers as they clenched around the covers below.

“Something wrong?” You taunted in the same tone he used, taking full advantage of his vulnerability.

Takasugi let go of the sheets, bringing both hands around your hips.

“Nothing at all.” He answered with greater confidence.

Even with his fingers gripping you, he didn’t do as much as to guide you in any way. He merely held you in place, patiently awaiting for you to pick your pace back up. Besides, your little mind games brought him plenty entertainment already.

At a much slower pace than before, you repeated the same movements, fully aware of the fact that his patience was gradually wearing thin. You weren’t even sure whether you actually meant to take care of him or test your limits anymore, seemingly achieving both. Either way, you could tell you weren’t the only one having fun with this.

Biting down your lip, you lowered your hips, allowing a little more than half of him to sink into you. It took every bit of self-restraint not to go all the way, your own juices making it easier for him to get sucked deeper into your pussy.

Reaching a hand behind your back, you found the base of his shaft with your fingers, keeping it steady enough for you to lightly bounce onto it. Takasugi pressed his lips together in a straight line, with his fingertips applying slightly more pressure than before. He didn’t cave in just yet, though when your fingers traced over his balls, he couldn’t help but dig his fingertips right into your skin, a bruising sure to follow.

Motivated by his reaction, you tried to sync the movement of your fingers to the movement of your hips, bouncing faster when inevitably, his cock slipped outside your lips. You looked down, hesitating to drive him back in.

Shamelessly, you brought the tip to your slit, wetting it enough for you to glide it over your throbbing clit. A delirious whine evaded your lips, the delicious feeling clouding your mind as you frantically tapped the two together. Even when tonight was all about him, there was no way for you to help yourself, not when it felt so damn good.

Having had enough for the moment, you were about to go back to riding him, when Takasugi rammed his dick so hard into you, that you had no choice but to collapse against his chest, your cry making him chuckle.

“That’s unfair!” You pouted, attempting to lift yourself back up.

“Unfair?” He whispered. “Unfair was having to go all day long without doing this.”

Before you could ask what ‘this’ meant, you felt his hands crawl down your butt, forcing your bodies to grind against each other.

“Why would I need another gift when I can have you, hm?”

The newfound bliss caused your vision to go blurry, the thoughts in your brain replaced by the sole sensation of his cock twitching deep within your heat. Had he asked you earlier, then maybe you’d have an answer to his question, but right now all you could do was bite down at your lip, while he hit all the right spots.

To your surprise, he appeared in no hurry to chase after his much awaited high, merely enjoying the warmth you offered him. Placing two fingers below your chin, he compelled you to look at him, a loving smile erased by your lips. His hands pulled away from your rear, Takasugi allowing you the freedom to move around. Losing yourself in yet another kiss, you claimed his cheeks with your palms, your tongue meeting his while he snaked his arms around your waist.

Tears formed at the corner of your eyes, slipping past your shut eyelids as you both moved against each other, fucking one another in sync with your kiss. Even when it felt like your heart was about to explode, you couldn’t bring yourself to move away from him, relishing every last bit of his body.

“You are more than enough.” He refused to let go, mumbling the words straight into your mouth. “You are mine.” His teeth tugged at your lower lip, before cushioning it all over again. “Mine.”

His sudden confession made your eyes widen, the sheer possessiveness of his voice sending chills down your spine. You always thought that you were the one who chased after him, though right now you were finally able to feel how tight his embrace was, a certain desperation pouring into his kisses as if he feared you’d slip away from his grasp.

“Shinsuke, I-” You began, only to be hushed by yet another kiss.

“Let me handle things from now on.” He said, completely inebriated.

With a small nod, you ushered him to take action, not caring about who got to take care of whom anymore. All you wanted was to finally become one with him.

A swift move of his was all it took to bring you down, your undergarment flying off your body. It was his turn to gawk at you, a slight smile hanging from his lips once he got to savor what you’d kept from him for so long.

The bandages over his head had come undone, their edges drenched by his own sweat. You reached to his face, pulling them out of the way when he claimed your fingers in his palm, pressing your hand down onto the futon. He had no intention of letting you lift as much as a finger.

Once more, he turned the tables on you as he rolled onto his side, pulling your back tight against his chest. With no distance left between your bodies, Takasugi snaked his arms around your waist, one hand spreading your legs open and the other cupping your breast. He kneaded at your soft skin, flicking both your nipples between his fingers, while his lips traveled to your nape, smearing your back with hot kisses.

With his fingers locking behind your knee, Takasugi steadied it around his torso, opening your body for him as much as possible. Unable to resist, you brought your hand between your thighs, gently rubbing circles over your swollen clit. Even when you hadn't had a drop of alcohol, the feeling of being utterly engulfed by him made your head spin.

Sighs evaded your lips one after the other, your fingers clenching around his bandage, while you kept on pleasuring yourself, continuously chanting his name. He was the only one who could make you feel so good, even when the fingers that touched you were yours and not his.

Once he had enough of groping you, Takasugi lowered you onto him, adjusting your position so that he could comfortably penetrate you. His cock brushed over your entrance, eager to slide past your pink lips. Nodding in confirmation, you nestled your head into the crook of his neck, breathing into the faint yet intoxicating scent of sandalwood and cedar. Despite everything, he still smelled so nice.

Taking in your blissful expression, he caressed your hair softly before finally pushing his way in. A strangled sound dropped from your lips as you bit down onto his skin, unable to contain yourself.

“Relax” He muttered in a mellow tone as he thrusted again, earning himself another of your pretty whines.

Each moan of yours sounded like the finest of melodies to his ears, knowing that each whimper was meant for him and him only. Perhaps he relished your reactions more than anything, fixating his pace according to the pitch of your voice. The louder you cried, the harder he went, ferociously rutting his hips in you as if there was no tomorrow.

His hand dropped from your knee onto your stomach, traveling down to your clit. Without disrupting his movements, Takasugi started to rub at it like you previously did, causing your entire body to jolt at the stimulation. Your moans turned into a series of desperate cries as you squirmed on top of him, unsure of whether you were trying to cling harder or to run from the overwhelming pleasure he offered.

“Look at me.”

He instructed in the same gentle voice and you followed, meekly gazing up at him as his lips took over yours. He didn’t care that all you were capable of doing was drool over his jaw, too fucked up to reciprocate the kiss. All he wanted to do was claim your sounds as his own, letting none of them go to waste, swallowing each and every one of them.

Soon, the only sound to remain in his room was that of your cunt squelching, eagerly taking the pounding he gave you. Your hands grabbed at one of his arms, holding onto him while ushering him to go faster. He grunted at the sound of your words, mercilessly keeping it up until your walls started to clamp around his cock.

His pace grew sloppy at the sensation of your cunt clenching around him. You could feel your own legs shaking, pure ecstasy spreading all the way down to your curled up toes, while he chased after his own climax. He was so focused that thin lines were formed upon his forehead, with his brows furrowed together.

"I love you"

Those three little words were all it took for Takasugi to fall out of pace. Thick ropes of his hot seed came pouring into your guts, filling your insides to the brim. His strained expression was completely relaxed when he dived forward, capturing your lips in yet another desperate kiss. Those words that he never allowed himself to say, were easily conveyed by his touch, assuring you that he was as utterly in love with you as you were with him.

Eventually, he pulled away from your mouth, though he remained attached to you in every way possible. His cock was still buried within you, loosely fucking his cum deeper into your hole, until he had no choice but to go limp. You felt his warm essence pouring down your thighs, clinging onto your skin just like he did. His arms remained wrapped around you, holding your body as close to his own as possible. There was nowhere else you’d rather be.

“I’m so happy you were born.” You broke through the silence, once you’d managed to regain your voice.

A hearty laugh followed, with his lips softly pressing onto your forehead.

“Are you now?” In less than a heartbeat you nodded against him, completely certain of your feelings on the matter.

“I guess your birth was one of the less unfortunate events in this world.” He admitted, going back to his usual snarky self.

Too elated to stoop to his level, you nuzzled your head into his chest, your arms caging him within your tight embrace. The light had completely faded from the room, with only the moon attempting to illuminate the space. Mindlessly, Takasugi caressed your shoulder with his thumb, while you hummed a soft tune, one that turned out to be none other than the happy birthday song. Skipping pretty much through all the lyrics, the only words you came to intonate were “my darling commander” right before the end.

“You make it sound as if you only sleep with me for my title.” He scoffed, though not particularly bothered.

Angling your chin to face him, you spared one of your brightest smiles.

“Of course not… my darling Shinsuke.” He was quick to dismiss you by tapping your forehead with his palm, doing his best to disguise his own smile with a hasty frown.

“I never thought someone could actually be fucked silly, but you seem to have lost every bit of common sense.” He mocked, too prideful to ever accept such a term of endearment from your lips. “Now go fetch me my pipe. I need a smoke if I am to tolerate you a second longer.”

Urging you to get up, he pushed you off his arms, forcefully rolling you onto your side. The duality of a man, you murmured under your breath. One moment he could whisper the most loving things to your ears, and the other he went back to treating you as if you were his personal maid. If all those fangirls of his knew of the mistreatment you endured, they wouldn’t stand for it, yet there you were, blindly searching through the darkness for the light switch.

“You know, you were the one who went all like ‘Y/N, spend my birthday with me, I long to nest between your thighs, please surrender yourself to me’.” You nagged, purposely messing up his previous words. “Deal with the consequences.” You went on as your fingers located the switch, light pouring into the room at once.

Surprisingly enough, he seemed to have nothing to counter your childish taunts, resorting to a mere huff. That’s right, he couldn’t even dispute your claims, victory was yours.

“Where is it again?”

He lifted a finger, pointing towards his dresser. You followed, going through the drawers one by one in search of his kiseru. Come to think of it, you hadn’t seen him smoke all day long. It was rare for him not to have it on him, considering how he seemed addicted to the rush the bitter tobacco had to offer.

“You know though, smoking right after sex is such a cliché. Who does-” Your sentence was cut short once you peered at the contents of the final drawers, finding more than you’d anticipated.

You blinked your eyes, wondering if you hadn’t actually left the bed, pure disbelief making you question your senses. His kiseru was right there, resting next to a small metallic box, one you could have sworn you’d seen before. Picking it up in your hands, you took a peek at the inside, your suspicions confirmed at the sight of a worn pair of binoculars. Their condition was beyond poor, though there was no doubt; these were the very same binoculars you gifted him all those years ago.

“I never expected you to keep anything from back then.” You admitted, placing the objects back inside the furniture.

“I kept you, didn’t I?” Takasugi shrugged, accepting the kiseru from your hands as he worked on lighting it up.

You stayed silent, lying next to his side. All sorts of thoughts went through your brain, while you traced back to each of your memories in an attempt to analyze his past behavior. The binoculars and the cookie box… could this mean that he returned your feelings long before he admitted to it?

“I will allow it.” His voice interrupted your thoughts, a light gray ring of smoke spiraling past his lips.

“Hm?”

“You can celebrate my birthdays.”

Your eyes widened, an expression of pure awe beaming upon your features.

“I’m only doing it for the free massage. Don’t get full of yourself.” He was quick to add.

“Then, how about we go somewhere nicer next year?” You suggest, forgetting all about his comments and your own contemplation.

Your hands traveled all the way to his neck, with your eyes pleading him for attention.

“I hear Waiiha planet is dreamy this time of the year. Or we could go over to Kagoshima for something quieter. Or-”

A cloud of thick smoke came to hush your words.

“By next year, nothing but ruin will remain.” He smirked, pulling the kiseru away from his lips. “I shall bring this rotten world before your feet.”

“Can’t you at least keep a place for the two of us?” You pouted.

Takasugi tilted his head as he took in your expression, finding himself smiling at your stubbornness.

“As long as we are both around, there will always be a place for us to run to.”

However romantic and grandiose his words came off, you failed to suppress a laughter. He always did that, using such fancy expressions to sway and misdirect you, but after all these years, you’d like to believe you knew better than to fall for it.

“You are so full of shit, Bakasugi.”

His smile twisted into a sneer, with his eye narrowing into another of his infamous glares. Using that ‘nickname’ on him, always irked him beyond compare.

“Can’t you keep Kyoto at least?”

He took another puff, blowing smoke towards the window.

“I can consider Yamagata.”

“Kanagawa?” You pleaded, pulling your entire weight on top of him.

“Don’t push it.”

“What about Hokkaido?” You weaved your fingers through his hair, slightly ruffling them. “I could make you a flower crown.”

Takasugi claimed your hands in his, dragging them down his chest before letting go of them. His expression softened, making it seem as if he didn’t completely oppose your proposition.

“Hokkaido…” He repeated, in a soft manner, one that caused little stars to spiral within your orbs. “Sounds like an enticing destination… for me to spread your ashes.”

“Hey, don’t be so mean!” You protested, throwing a punch at his chest while he giggled.

The two of you kept bickering over potential vacation destinations for quite some time, throwing names of different places until there was no planet, country, city or village left to name. Neither of you agreed to back off, with each insisting on a suggestion of their own.

Without admitting to it, secretly, you wished that by the time his next birthday came around, you’d both be around to celebrate it. Whether it was upon a hilltop or the edge of a coastline, it didn't matter. All that mattered was that you'd see the end of things with him, standing side by side like you'd done every moment up until now.

No matter what, you'd see this one wish through; no matter what you would never let go of him.

[qqquib]

i use tumblr for a lot of shit, like a lot. something i recently opened the app for was fic recs. which, okay. i’ve read a LOT of dsmp fan fiction. if it’s tommyinnit-centric there’s a 70% chance i’ve read it. if it’s bad-parent phil watson there’s 95% chance i’ve read it.

now, one thing most of these fic recs have in common is them leaving out vital information about the fics AND they’re not mentioning my favorites so i’m upset.

all that said, welcome to my DSMP tommyinnit focused fic recommendations!

————————————

please read the tags before reading them! they contain triggering themes!!!!!

Until You Leave. 8/? 31.2k Words

Technobrother and Tommy are piglin brothers in foster care. They get placed with Phil and he accidentally fucks them up big time. Ugly cried even though it was unfinished lol. 

Evermore. complete. 56k Words

Royal AU and tommyinnit has hanahaki disease. Unshockingly contains bad parent Phil Watson and horrible siblings Wilbur and Techno. Major Character Death tag. 

Hand in Unloveable Hand. complete. 21k Words

literally, I don't even know where to begin. tommyinnit gets unadopted by Phil and placed with Dream (who is a murderer.) Goes through Dreams killings and Tommy's involvement in detail. Cliffhanger ending i’m praying author makes a part 2. 

mon dieu. complete. 115k Words. 

Same thing, where can I even begin. Dream goes crazy with the revive book on Tommy, and claims himself as a god. Tortures Tommy and its described in graphic detail. If you don't like blood, guts, paralyzation, stock-home syndrome, or suicide don't read. 

Dead Kids Aren’t Useful. complete. 4.5k Words. 

tommyinnit has the power to heal peoples wounds-- at the cost of his own life. Vigilante SBI don't know that detail, and abuse his power to save their own lives.

A God and An Alien Walk Into a Casino (series) incomplete. 12k words

Just Golden Duo interactions honestly. Takes place in the c!dsmp before the finale. 

this isn’t love (and if it is i don’t want it) complete. 4.3k Words

C!Tommy is unloved, but flowers never grow in his lungs. Tommyinnit is loved by a family who hates him. I SOBBED SO BAD BRO OMFG. My direct notes on this in my excel sheet are “best/worst take on hanahaki disease”

The End is Your Beginning. complete. 65k Words

Tommy accidentally falls into The End and a dragon adopts him <3. The ending made me angry cry. 

Good Riddance Gray Albion. complete. 2k Words

Tommy is unknown at his birthday party, you will know more about his brothers than you ever will about Tommy. It's his birthday. 

All-The-Way Better. complete. 5k Words

Tommy isn't happy enough-- isn't good enough. He gets replaced by the people who swore to love him. 

Home is Where the Heart Isn’t (series) incomplete. 25k Words

Originally my friend was gatekeeping this from me, i argued with her until she shared it. Essentially, tommyinnit’s family comes back from whatever the fuck and they realize he isn't the same. Angst ensues and Tommy is just mad depressed bro. Sob every time, 

Distant Dreams in the Dark. complete. 14k Words

Wilbur is addicted to drugs, told through Tommy’s POV. Set over the span of several years. Bittersweet ending. suicide warning though folks. 

Dreaming that I’m Wide Awake. complete. 59k Words

Golden Duo + Drista. Human experimentation and like, a lot of angst. No offense to the author! But this was their first work as far as I’m aware. It is written like it, but it's worth it imo.  

miserably failing at faerie kidnapping after getting too attached to the kid you're trying to kidnap. complete. 19.9k Words

Dream is Fae and adopts Tommy! Fluff and healing ensues. Bad SBI though. It's honestly one of the happier fics I've read recently.

a house with closed doors. complete. 4.1k Words

Tommy is lonely on thanksgiving :( but happy ending!

There’s always more. complete. 11k Words

Tommy is suicidal, technoblade decides a roadtrip is in order. 

Cant You Stay Right Here Forever Pretty Please? complete. 2.1k Words

tommy + ranboo are falling, phil can only save one of them. 

Vibrations. complete. 121k Words

tommyinnit leaves the SMP to finally heal, and gets platonically married and has a kid but that's a whole other thing. 

[ask-artsy-oncie]

Do you have some behind the scenes or development info about Jules? Since you talked about designing Yy 😊

Sorry for answering this one so late anon! I've been very sporadically online the past couple of days. I know you sent this today but like still.

I just wanted to make sure I answered this proper cos I like talking about behind the scenes stuff a lot ;w;

Hmmm. So Julio. Let's see...

Well, originally their name was going to be José, since that's the first half of my name. It was definitely something I teetered back and forth on because I know José Carioca is not only already a Disney character but literally in Ducktales 2017. I mean... we have two Disney Afternoon characters named Louie.... but still. Ultimately I decided on Julio. I actually have a cousin named Julio, though we don't live in the same country and haven't seen each other since we were kids. It was more because I was born in July hahaha.

Ah, yes! "Starleta"! I actually came up with the character's surname before changing my pseudonym! Because I loved it so so so much and it really vibes with me so well I decided to have it for myself, too :) what's interesting about that is that my older pseudonym, Artsy LaVerne, is also based on an OC - it's the deoncelerized version of my askblog onceler (since LaVerne means "born in spring" and it was fanon that the Onceler's birthday was on Earth Day!) Starleta just felt appropriately magical and fictional! And it's a play on my own last name!

I figured their nickname would be "Jules" - I imagine that in their "original" Talespin incarnation it'd be their whole name because DT17 did a lot to Latin-ize characters and I kinda wanted to play into that, like literally (retroactively) Latin-ize a character I made up lol, just so it felt a little more immersive. But I also wanted this DT17 version of them to have a nickname, preferably one syllable, that Kit could call them, because Kit is the kind of guy who would lean towards giving people/calling people by their nicknames rather than their full names.

They were originally going to go by he/him pronouns! This was because I was feeling massively dysphoric when I was designing them and very much wanted to feel like a man. What made me change my mind is the massive amount of euphoria I felt seeing an androgynous they/them character already on Disney - Raine Whispers :) and I knew then that I wanted to change Jules's pronouns.

Their two most important magical elements are their broom and their tarot deck - their broom, because I've yearned to have the power of flight for literally as long as I can remember, and their tarot deck because I actually read tarot IRL and practice witchcraft! I imagine that in the cartoon world where magic is literally real, tarot works more like the Alethiometer in the Golden Compass movie, where if you know how to read it, the answer appears to you as clear as day, with little to infer or guess at - that's why they always get a little piece of information they don't know the context to, like their deck is almost being snide with them by giving them a riddle rather than a straight answer. It obviously wouldn't be that way in a real tarot deck.

Their broom is also their comfort item, and inferred to be kind of alive in its own right for a reason! I wanted an analog to my dog, who is very much someone who keeps me calm, who essentially functions as my emotional support net, who understands me and is as inseparable as we can be (she is not a registered service animal so I cannot take her everywhere). Jules very much emotionally depends on their broom, and feels better when they're actively holding it or can at least see it. I they made it themself, much like how I raised Cali from a puppy, literally just old enough to be removed from her mother, there's a lot of care and love involved. I've pondered, but I honestly don't think they'd be able to handle if it ever got broken.

I decided, in order to help myself develop them, to try also developing an "original" Talespin incarnation of them that could potentially be rebooted. I imagined them like a side character in one of the comics (one, because those inconsequential side characters were the kinds of characters I used to fixate on, so it felt fitting, and two, because it would also be easier to keep them androgynous without ever having to confront their gender - they wouldn't have enough of a presence for it to matter lol) kinda like the daughter of Baloo's old boss, or the homeless folk who raised Kit - major players in the specific issues they appeared in, but essentially nonexistent outside of that particular comic. I almost even wrote and drew the hypothetical Talespin-style comic that I imagined them coming from, until I realized I was too exhausted to do all that hahahahahaha.

I believe the plot was about H4H being hired to deliver magically significant jewels (under the guise of it being "jewelry") from the island that Jules and their family live on - who in this 'verse are all witches, no real "not believing in magic" issues present, though they're not very open about it because magic can be dangerous in the wrong hands, of course, which is why they claim the cargo they're sending out is just jewelry. But H4H gets ambushed by Karnage and his crew as they're leaving, motivated by the precious jewels, causing them to be trapped on the island. The adults are all tied up by the pirates, but the kids get away (Jules is an only child in this 'verse, or maybe perhaps only has much older siblings, they're meant to be the youngest of their family, and a late bloomer in developing their magic). As Jules cannot use magic yet, they lament that they, Kit, and Molly, are powerless to save their families, but Kit comes up with an idea to trick Karnage rather than overpower him. Jules confronts Karnage "alone", proclaiming themself to be a powerful witch who will make him pay for imprisoning their family. Karnage amusedly dares them to prove it, to which Jules pretends to cast spells on him while Kit and Molly, unseen by the pirates, play tricks as though to make it seem like spells are actually being cast (hooking a fishing line to one of the pirates and lifting them to make it look like Jules is levitating them, discreetely setting one of the pirates' hats on fire to make it look like a fireball had been thrown, releasing a basket of snakes to make it look like they were magically manifested) and it scares the pirates off, the kids having saved the day :)

Hahahahahaha I know it's very simple and rather dumb, but I felt like it was rather on par with the way Talespin comics are written (and that's no shade, I do love them, but they're often very simple like that.) Maybe someday I'll be able to draw it! Maybe. There was also absolutely (and adamantly!) no romance between Talespin!Jules and Kit, because I just don't feel comfortable shipping a self-insert with a child character, even though the insert character would also be a kid. Just feels wrong. Talespin!Kit is my blorbo, it's DT17!Kit who is my husband, ha. Talespin!Jules and Kit are strictly platonic.

That's all I can think of, for now. Sorry I don't have any pictures for this one like I do for Ty. I'm typing this on my phone and don't have the energy to pull up my computer to find early sketches - I did all their visual development digitally. But honestly most of what I've posted of them is all there is, even their Talespin version is in my introductory post for them. Hope you liked this, thanks for the distraction ;w;

[docholligay]

Misty: Ep 2

Hello! This is about up to Episode 2 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 2 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the second episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open!

One of the major victories, so far, of this show is the way it handles Misty. Misty is both a victim and a villain, and that is one of my absolute favorite places for a character to be. They also really avoid the “poor, beleaguered nerd cri cri” that I am so opposed to in fiction. 

Don’t misunderstand me, I feel deeply for Misty in that opening scene with the phone call, because I was her, minus that fact that I most definitely did not have my own phone line*. When she talks about Plato and opinion being the wilderness between knowledge and ignorance, but she’s so socially uncanny she has no idea how to respond to the girls on the other end of the line without playing more into their trap, I cringed because that could have described me PERFECTLY from about the ages of 7 to 13. When i was little, it was basically decided by my classmates that no one was going to attend my birthday party, and so, not a single person showed up. I am not unsympathetic to what this shit feels like. 

So I LOVE how the show goes, “Oh, you feel for her, but as an adult, you also would find her offputting and unlikeable” and they throw us into this date situation where Misty is being unspeakably weird, and not understanding how the social game is played. There are many, many of us who were Misty as children, and grew up to learn how the game was played. I learned it so well I actually became a mean girl human nightmare from about the ages of 15 to 22-23. Calling it a game is even a touch dismissive. We are pack animals, and understanding how pack communication is done is a life skill. 

Misty is, even as an adult, unlikeable. Part of me wonders if she, too, is trapped at 17 the way I’ve accused other characters of being. Did it have to be this way? Might her life have changed if she went to college, was able to reinvent herself? I mean, we aren’t really given anything, but in that opening scene, I can see she has a very nice room, with her own phone line, and nice clothes. It SEEMS like her parents care about her at least to some degree. And that is, I think, a major part of resilience. What might Misty have been if she wasn’t out in the wild? Who might she have become, and would it be a more socially appropriate person than she is now? 

Because she found a part of herself out there that I think she’s still clinging to. 

There are people who are born for certain situations, and certain moments. People who are incredibly good in a crisis. I may be an abrasive piece of shit in my day to day life, but I also am fairly good in a crisis. There’s Winston Churchill. Anyway, Misty is also one of those people who is great in a crisis. From the word go, she manages the situation with a very clear head, bracing herself as the plane crashes, immediately looking for the emergency door. She has excellent first aid skills--though I scoff at her having taken babysitter first aid, I have taken wilderness first aid, and that is shit from wilderness first aid and even a bit beyond--and proves herself invaluable to the team. 

All of that is fine. All of that is great, actually. 

But what this leads to is her manufacturing a crisis--well, that’s not fair, let’s instead say prolonging a crisis--so that she can continue to be liked and useful. When I saw the end of t6he episode, I was appalled, but I wasn’t SHOCKED. I think that’s a credit to the writers, who have shown us time and again how a REASONABLE person could not like Misty or find her offputting. This is the first time in her life that people have had nice things to say about her. She helped someone in need. 

And so it doesn’t surprise me that she went into healthcare, and I am 100% sure, though please, don’t tell me, that she wrecked Nat’s car. That’s why she’s joined up with the citizen detectives. Misty has CONTINUED to find ways to make herself the only one that can help. She has continued to chase that high of being in the woods and being the only one who knows what to do and it wouldn’t surprise me if she continued to either manufacture or prolong crises in order to maintain that position of usefulness. If the girls can’t LIKE her, they will NEED her.

[rumrumgoose]

I am fully aware that no one will probably read this but I really just needed to get this out so tumblr it is:

I will title this

My journey through fan fiction that spans 18 years and a sexuality crisis

I was a weird kid, I had gone to catholic school at the beginning of my elementary years and then moved to public school when my mom got a job as an elementary teacher. I didn’t know how to dress because I had worn a uniform before then and I didn’t know how to act in a not strict environment.

I found solace in books, we had a program at my school where you would read a book and then take a test on it and earn points for passing the test. The bigger the book, the more points you got. Naturally as this was 2004 Harry Potter was very popular, and they were the books that got you the most points as they were larger. I read the first one and was hooked, this world was amazing, I was at my bookstore the night the half blood prince and deathly hollows came out. I devoured the books, and then I devoured them again, and again.

Eventually in the summer between 5th and 6th grade (so 2006) I discovered fan fiction. I was HOOKED, now not only did I get to have basically unlimited access to my favorite characters, I got to read about them in different ways than JK put them. Fan fiction was…unhinged back then to say the least. I was more into the golden trio and I wasn’t really into romance stories as I was 12 but I can distinctly remember wolfstar (that’s not what they were called back then it was like SS something or other) being in the background of A LOT of stories I read and liking it but also not caring cause I just wanted the adventure as a 12 year old does.

I fell into this rabbit hole and would be reading fan fiction at an alarming rate for a person my age, but I was weird and being bullied and was DEFINITELY struggling with my sexuality so it was my way to escape. I stayed firmly in fan fics until I went to high school, at the end I was definitely reading “slash” fics and they were definitely not straight but I was riding the denial train hard.

When I went to high school it was 2009 and “hipster” was cool, my weirdness combined with becoming “hot” granted me way less bullying. I started to get friends so I dropped the “weird” Harry Potter obsession and let myself slowly combust with a sexuality crisis that spanned a good 12 years. I would dabble in fan fiction many times from the ages of 15-26 but I really got into a couple weeks after my 27th birthday.

I was, well, I was actively dying. I was so mentally ill I wasn’t really functioning. I was in a horrible marriage (to a man, if you haven’t caught my subtle hints I’m a lesbian) I had nothing of my own, no autonomy and I just didn’t want to be here anymore.

I fell into reading all the young dudes (I know, I know) because of a TikTok I had seen with someone saying they loved reading Marauders fics because it’s easy to take a step back from JK when reading them. To say I was hooked is an understatement.

When I started reading it I didn’t know about tags or even how to work AO3 so I didn’t realize it was a wolfstar fic, when they kissed on the mouth I was like 😱. Sometimes I wish I could relive that moment again because I was an idiot. I was hooked though and thus began an insane journey into discovering that queer love can actually be amazing, that I can leave my husband and survive, and taking your mental health meds is a super good idea.

I have been through a journey and am about to turn 29 on Saturday, so almost 2 years later I need to just thank everyone in the community for your words that saved me. I am now obsessed with wolfstar, I don’t know what I would do with out you guys. I’m trying to be more active in the fandom but I thought I would get my story into the world even if no one sees it! 💕

[razieltwelve]

Everything, Everywhere, All at Once

So, I finally got around to watching Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.

I enjoyed the movie, and I can see why it won all the awards it did. However, I have to admit that there was something that prevented me from perhaps enjoying the movie as much as other people did, and it boils down to a simple difference in philosophy, albeit one that might as well be axiomatic in how fundamental it is.

Nihilism.

Being able to experience everything, everywhere, all at once has turned the ‘villain’ of the story into a nihilist. If everything is simply random and interchangeable, then nothing is special. Nothing is unique. Nothing matters.

It goes back to an old argument that I’ve seen concerning the nature of an omnipotent, omniscient being.

Such a being would likely either care about nothing... or care about everything. To such a being, the infinite possibilities and permutations of existence could easily be viewed as pointless and meaningless. After all, what do they truly mean to such a being? Or they could be truly beautiful. After all, a grain of sand might seem meaningless and ugly, but get enough grains of sand together and you have a beach.

The fundamental flaw, and I use this in a personal sense more than a philosophical sense, is thinking that the Truth is something the universe will miraculously bestow on you as if it were some magical thing that is the same for everyone, everywhere, all at once. The Truth, if there is one, is different for every person. And it is not something the universe bestows, it is something a person comes to themselves.

I personally find the idea that things don’t matter because they aren’t perfect, eternal, or of cosmic importance to be abhorrent.

In the grand scheme of things does a child’s birthday party matter? You could say no. What is a birthday party compared to the birth and death of a star, the collapse of a galaxy, or the fundamental forces that govern the universe? Nothing. But to the child? The experience of their parent taking a day off work to make sure they’ll be at their party could mean everything.

Rather than dismissing all of the variations between universes as pointless and random, why not embrace them? Instead of looking at all those permutations and seeing only stochastic variation and chance, why not relish the opportunity to live out all those different lives with all their different sorrows and joys.

Funnily enough, I actually do address this question in my own writing. There is a character in Cosmic Delivery Boy named Cuddles. Cuddles is a cosmic guinea pig, a being of nigh-limitless power. He is so powerful that he can extinguish universes with a thought and consign significant chunks of the multiverse to absolute oblivion when he actually chooses to exert himself. Imagine a thousand civilisations, each so advanced they have conquered their own universe and are expanding into other universes. Yeah. The entities that fight on his level use groups like that as minions, and Cuddles obliterates them just to clear the field of battle. That’s the kind of power we’re talking about.

The Warehouse is kind of like the Amazon of Creation, a side project that Cuddles and his species have established mostly to amuse themselves. It is the kind of thing that makes normal people completely reconsider their place in the grand scheme of things. When asked about the Warehouse by Simon, a human from Earth, Cuddles had this to say:

Cuddles pointed at the Warehouse. “People see the Warehouse and how big it is and think it means they don’t matter. They’re wrong.” Cuddles leaned forward, and his gaze burned into Simon. “Everyone matters. That’s the secret. You have a family, right?” Simon nodded. “And you love them, don’t you?”

“More than anything in the world.” Simon wished his family could see this. His dad had been the one to introduce him to science fiction. He’d go absolutely crazy.

“Do you think the Warehouse existing changes that? Having seen it, do you love them any less? Are they any less important to you?”

“No.”

“The multiverse is a big place, and there’s all sorts of scary stuff out there. Believe me. I know. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t change anything. People still have families. They still have friends. The multiverse might not care about them, but their friends and family do. People on the Warehouse might never notice if you disappeared one day, but your family and friends would. Being part of something bigger doesn’t mean that you stop mattering. If anything, seeing the big picture gives you a better appreciation for all the little things that make life worth living.”

When confronted by the vastness of everything that is, it might be easy to say that nothing matters. However, I would argue that it is the opposite. Everything matters.

[sneakyfox55]

1. I read your stuff and commented and you just started. Reading my stuff??? And you were so sweet???

2. And then when I found you in tumblr you just started talking to me acting like you. Were an equal to me when you were my inspiration????

3. You roleplayed with me and indulged me in my dumb stuff

4. You listen to my ramblings and you're actually the only non creator who knows of Wisp's Backstory not even my best friend for 2 years knows what happened.

5. You work yourself so hard and never let yourself relax because you're so dedicated which is admirable but please take it down a notch and care for yourself

6. Despite me not doing anything for you, you do so much for me??? I'm buried in debt to you ily

7. You are always fun and interesting and I love talking to you

8. Your mushy brothers is the reason I have mushy brothers because I was self conscious about it

9. Even if you don't know what I'm talking about you listen and my goodness ily

10. You make so much Giftfics for meee

11. It's so fun to bully Wisp because you're so entertaining to

12. I love being able to talk about true crime without having the other treat real people like fictional characters

13. You write so much skelebros... and you write them so well...

14. You read my stuff despite you being good enough to probably be with better more known creators

15. You're only 18 and you've made so much stuff and you've inspired so many people and you have so many followers

16. I'm literally so fucking weird and you don't even blink an eye at it???

17. You always cheer me up when I'm in a bad mood

18. Your Sans angst.... ouagh...

19. YOUR PAPYRUS ANGST... OUAGH...

20. The newest giftfic where Sans is so sappy where he tackles his brother out of love???

21. You thought about me and wrote a chapter inspired by me :')

22. Even with my delusional memories you comforted me and helped me so much

23. Even with my really angsty whump stuff you encourage me and tell me how you like it

24. Speaking of that you shower me with love and idk why????

25. You're so creative and I don't know how you get it???

26. You made an au inspired by my interpretation???

27. AND YOU PERFECTED IT SO QUICKLY TO WHERE IT MAKES SENSE WHILE MINE IS REALLY LAZY

28. I was supposed to be doing my homework but I'm doing this instead just for youuuuuuuuuuuuu

29. You light up my life so muchhhh

30. You're literally one of my favorite authors. When I see a Gmail with your name I scramble to open it

31. Almost every author I know there are parts of their work I think is less than stellar. Not with you. I can't think of one part.

32. You put stuff into words so well while I can't and just try to somewhat convey what I'm feeling

I'm actually tired af so I'm going to conk out and continue tomorrow ilyyyyyyyyy

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HOW

HOW

WOH

HOW

HOW

DARE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EVERYONE

EVERYONE LOOK

LOOK AT THIS IDIOT (AFFECTIONATE) AND WHAT THEY DID FOR ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS I LOVE YOU I DIDN'T EVEN??? I COULDN'T EVEN WORD MY OWN LIST WELL AND I WAS BAD AT IT YOURS IS SO MUCH BETTER BUT WHY DID YOU DO THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(ALSO SORRY ABOUT, THE CONFUSION ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY/AGE, FOR ANYONE WONDERING I ACCIDENTALLY PUT THEM UNDER THE IMPRESSION MY BIRTHDAY HAPPENED ALREADY BUT I DON'T TURN ADULT UNTIL LATER THIS YEAR DSHJGDSJDSGJHDS)