#I determine how much I eat. ME. Whatever happens its because I allow it

[smallestapplin]

I love your stories and the way you write! I'd like to request a story for Alucard as a loving yandere, it's rare to see anyone writing for game castlevania these days!Perhaps female s/o originally found him and awakened him to help beat dracula together after Richter went AWOL and afterwards he took her with him home?

I am so sorry. You sent this back in august and I've been dying 😭 I hope you like it, though I'm very sorry if it's a little all over the place. Please enjoy QwQ also I love you, thank you for allowing me to write castlevania. I adore the games so much.

🔞Cw : light possessive/yandere thoughts🔞

Word count : 2,044

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When Alucard was awoken he expected to see a Belmont, or someone related to such, knowing the only reason to awaken him is for dire circumstances. Yet when his golden eyes opened to see who, it was just…you?

The tall vampire lowered himself to the ground, walking towards you. His eyes never leave your frame.

“I’m sorry for waking you up, but I knew you’d be the only one who could help us.”

“What happened.” He sighs, knowing exactly what you’re going to say.

“The castle of Dracula is back.”

Because of course, it is.

“But with its sudden appearance, Richter went missing!”

“Richter?” He supposes that’s someone of importance.

“Yes, he’s a Belmont and was determined to put an end to this, but he hasn’t been back for three years and that castle is still there. Please, I don’t know who else to turn to, no one else is strong enough to face the monsters of that castle.”

You don’t back away as he gets closer, it intrigues him.

He takes notice of how small you are compared to him, but that’s not saying much as he’s aware his height is not humanly possible to reach.

“You’re no Belmont, who are you?” His eyes never leave you, taking in every detail he can.

You have no courting gifts on your person, so you’re not a lover of one.

His ears twitch at the sound of your name, one which he repeats.

“I am a friend of the family, and I’m worried for him. I’d like to help you defeat Dracula and save my friend.”

He hasn’t had a companion in what, three hundred years? Oh, Trevor is mocking him in the grave, he just knows it.

“You may tag along, but I warn you this will take longer with you traveling with me. Dracula’s monsters are not to be underestimated.”

Why is it that when your eyes light up he feels something…warm inside his chest? He’s a monster just like the rest, he shouldn’t taint such lively humanity.

“Of course! I’ll do anything I can to help!”

The vampire hums, walking passed you as he takes his leave, with you tailing right behind him. He hates the feelings stirring inside him, he’s a creature of the night, a disgrace, and you are a saint in his eyes.

Day in and day out as you two travel, heading straight for Dracula’s castle, he can’t help but find himself smitten with you.

“Do you need to eat?”

“If you’re asking if I need blood, no I don't, I can eat whatever you bring.”

“Oh.”

He finds it so cute how you worry over him.

You’ve only met him days ago and yet you still insist on checking on him. You’re so warm, so inviting.

That Belmont is lucky to have someone like you as his friend.

But something twists in Alucard’s chest, something darker. Just how lonely had he been all this time? It was better for everyone in his mind, and yet here he is, longing for you to stay.

It grows each night as you sleep peacefully at your little campsite.

Every time he looks at your resting form, he can’t help but feel the urge to hold you, to have you, to listen to you whisper your love for him.

You wouldn't want a monster like him as a lover, he's a vampire for heaven's sake! You deserve someone who could properly love you as you should be.

And yet each night he finds himself sitting closer to you, each night he finds himself inching closer to your sleeping body.

If he's close enough he could feel your warmth.

How he wishes to curl around you, cape over you two just to bask in it.

The weeks it takes you two to get to the castle are some of the best and worst for Alucard.

You seem to find his dry humor and sarcasm hilarious, even shooting back with your sass.

He wonders how the Belmont managed to have you so close...

With the castle in sight, he can't help but feel a pit form in his stomach.

He's just one step closer to losing you.

"Alucard quickly, the gate!" Your voice brings him from his thoughts as he sees the gate's door being raised.

He huffs, grabbing you, having you over his shoulder as he sprints towards it. His vampiric speed lets him get there just before it closes.

And with a jump, he makes it, landing perfectly.

His arm around your hips and thighs doesn't loosen, but he can feel you shaking.

"Are you alright?" His voice was low, edging on being gentle.

You take a shaky breath, trying to steel your nerves.

"Yeah...yeah I'm okay. Just a warning next time, please?"

Next time? You want to spend more time with him, is that what you're saying? He carefully sets you down, making sure you're behind him as he turns to face the rest of the castle.

He narrows his eyes which stay locked onto the enemies ahead.

The low deep growls of the beasts before you keep you on guard.

"Stay behind me. I will protect you."

He stayed true to his word, you're almost certain he didn't even need you here. You watch in awe how the dhampir makes quick work of enemies, most of the time he'd catch them before they could even touch you.

In turn, if you could not put your sword to work, you decided to put your mage abilities to good use then, healing Alucard when the hips got to be too much for him.

Death couldn't get close to you, even when taking Alucard's items and yours. Yet you two held firm, pressing onward to put a stop to this and find your friend.

Walking through the castle, getting closer and closer to the end of the hallway you have to tell him.

"It's impressive how quickly you adapt to using weapons and items that aren't yours."

To you, you think he glances at you casually, as if he's done this all before.

But you miss the soft look in his eyes.

"My father and his minions made sure I could fight. I honed my skills in killing any monster in my path."

You know there must be so much to his story but you don't press for more, he's been through enough.

"Still, the skill of yours is deserving of praise. Do you think you could teach me sometime?"

Alucard can feel his heart pounding.

Why do his hands feel clammy? Has the room gotten hotter? Before he could answer as you two walk through the door, his words die in his throat at the sight of a human sitting in the stadium, laughing.

"Who are you?" But his question goes ignored.

"Servants, come forth from the gates of hell!"

Alucard widens his stance to fight, placing an arm in front of you to block you, yet his attention is pulled from the man to the two summoned monsters on either side of you two.

You jolt forward, hands on Alucard's bicep as you seem shocked.

"....Your blood. The scent of your blood. You're a Belmont!"

"Richter!" You finally call out, you should be relieved to see your friend is alive but it's tainted in confusion and hurt at his behavior.

"Attack! Rid my castle of these pests!"

With that he sits back, watching you and your companion fight for your lives against the Minotaur and werewolf. Though he's so disappointed when you two manage to beat them, and leaves before you could land the final blow.

You rush over to Alucard once it's safe, worry etched on your face.

"Are you okay? You didn't get hit too bad, did you?" You check him over, unaware of the emotions coursing through him at that moment.

He grinds a hand up slowly, placing it on your cheek, his thumb lightly rubbing across your skin.

"I'm alright, but what about you?"

He could feel a foreign feeling bubbling in his throat, almost akin to a purr when you lean into his touch.

"I'm fine. But that was Richter but he...he'd never want to resurrect Dracula, or do anything of this."

His heart hurts seeing you so conflicted.

"Worry not, we will stop him."

"Just...please don't kill him."

Alucard takes a deep breath, easing the anger welling up inside him. Do you want to protect that Belmont? He might've been your friend, but he just sicced monster at you two without a care.

He even had the nerve to call you a pest!

But how can he say no to the pitiful expression of yours?

"I'll do what I can."

Making your way once more through the castle, finding relics that you need, and trying to fight monsters for their items. You run into Maria, who's so happy to see you, even if she questions the stoic man next to you.

Alucard stays quiet as you two converse, though you seem relieved when she hands you the holy glasses. You're quick to hand them to Alucard.

He's already tired of everyone when he defeats a possessed Belmont, that annoys Priest Shaft by having the nerve to make him go through another castle.

But you are at his side, talking with him, healing him, and giving him just small touches to his arms and back.

He never realized how touch-starved he had become.

His quick strides become slow, he doesn't want this adventure to end, he needs to keep you with him.

He can't let you go, he can't let anyone hurt you.

As the castle goes up in a blinding light, he can faintly hear you happily chatting with your friends, how you sound close to tears knowing they made it alright.

The words of his father rang still clear in his ears.

'You're more like me than you think.'

He dreads ever thinking he'd be anything like Dracula.

But as he looks at you, he sees your smile.

He can understand his father's actions a little better.

Just the thought of you dying sends him into a frenzy.

"Alucard, I-"

"Come with me."

You jump back, a little shocked at his words.

"I'm...I'm sorry?"

The nearly seven-foot-tall man hunches over, making himself level with you.

"Join me in my travels. You make a perfect companion."

After watching you fight alongside him, even watching you fight the fake versions of his old friends in there.

How you came right back to his side to offer him comfort.

How you did the same right after the fight with the succubus.

He needs you.

You make him feel loved, and wanted, even if he's just a monster like the rest.

"What!? You can't expect them to go with you!"

His golden eyes lock with Richter's blue ones.

The Belmont looks flabbergasted the dhampir even suggested that.

"Richter, let them decide. They did save you and the world with his help you know."

He snaps his head towards Maria, mouth agape.

"I understand that, but who knows what other dangers they could face out there!"

Your chuckle brings them all to silence. Richter has always been so worried for you and your safety, much like a protective brother to you.

"Thank you for the concern, Richter, but I think I'll be fine." You look to Alucard, a soft smile on your face.

"I'd love to join you. This entire trip has been so much fun."

You can feel your knees go weak at the barely there smile that graces Alucard's face.

"I won't let you regret it."

As you bid farewell to your friends, promising to visit them.

You're blind to how Alucard eyes your neck.

If he turns you, you'd be stuck with him for the rest of your life, you could never leave him, and you'd be his betrothed for the end of time.

He could make or find you two a nice place.

Oh, he wants to hold you like he's dreamed of since the start of your journey.

And now you'll be alone with him, with no one expecting you home soon or at all.

You're his now.

He won't make the same mistake his father made, he will never leave you alone.

[yourssinfullyquiche]

RANDOM headcanons (PART II)

*Pictures do not belong to me and are taken from Google and Unsplash

I've had to cut one of the headcanons out T^T. It's just too long & it's exceeding tumblr's word limit. Maybe I'll include it in one of my future fics ^_^

Gavin x you

WC: 2298

Beta: Quiche

Enjoy reading~

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When you turned away from him for how shocked, angry and disappointed you were when the fatigue, sullenness and bruises you slowly discovered were actually from experimentations they were doing on him, something he actively volunteered for. It’s always the same spiel, “I did it to protect you”. You couldn’t stop the groan of frustration that escaped. Why? Why does he always think that? As if you’re incapable of understanding anything he does, as if that’s going to somehow remove or placate the dread you feel every time he leaves for a mission—the warmth of his kisses fading as soon as the sound of the engine disappears—as if everything he tells you will stop your thoughts from spiralling into the deep dark cold void of emptiness. Of course his words led to a painful fight and the next thing you knew, he fell on his knees hugging your belly so tightly, fingers digging into your hips refusing to let you go, burrowing into your warmth which quickly dampened with his silent tears. “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry. Pl-Please… don't. I’m scared.” It was the first time you heard him utter those words, panic and genuine fear in his voice and eyes. He never allowed himself to admit to being afraid. Maybe it was the harsh upbringing of his father or lack thereof, maybe it was his guilt for not saving his mother, maybe it’s because he felt like he would lose you if he did show his fears. Whatever the reason, your heart was torn asunder and you couldn’t bear to see the light of your life losing its core strength. Dropping to your knees, bringing his head gently to your shoulders, you caressed his back and combed your fingers through his soft amber strands, massaging his scalp. As his sobs mellowed, you cupped his cheeks forcing him to look you in the eye. “I was only going for a drive. I’m not going to leave you. Not ever. But please listen to me, I can’t bear seeing you like this. You do so much for everyone but it’s not worth gaming your own life. You’re not protecting me like this, you’re only pushing me away. We promised, remember? To be there for each other no matter what, happy or sad. I can’t lose you too. So please, moving forward whatever happens we talk about these things and then we face it together.” With a shuddering breath, swollen eyes and a red nose, he nodded, conviction gleaming in his orbs. Regretful and determined, a little salty but most of all sweet, sweet blissful relief. That was how the affectionate adjoining tasted. 

“Hey, stop that.” Those words coupled with a bewildered look were the first to greet you when you turned around—one hand holding a jar of crunchy Biscoff spread, the other, a butter knife with patches of the spread still evident. “What? I’m just eating”, you shrugged at his nonplussed face and continued scooping more of the spread. Satisfied with the amount, your taste buds were about to rekindle its experience with the textured caramel nutty, gingery flavour when the utensil was snatched from your palm. “With a butter knife??” Gavin's voice engaged a higher pitch matching his incredulity. “It’s dangerous! I don’t want you to get hurt. Why don’t you use a spoon like a normal person?” This from the man who climbs in through the windows of your shared home instead of using the perfectly able door which has you suffering from mini heart attacks all the time. But you pushed that thought aside as you were more interested in satisfying your taste buds. “Butter knives are blunt, it won’t hurt me. Shouldn’t you be the expert of that?, your tone quiet but sassy as you grabbed the butter knife still covered with spread, quickly licking it before Gavin could pull it out from your grasp, a triumphant look forming on your face. And that began the cat and mouse chase with you brandishing the utensil—only you could go so far as you were no match for Gavin’s athletic body and speed. One muscular arm quickly scooped you up as if you weighed nothing and placed you on the marble counter—both hands on either side of your waist effectively trapping you. You stared at his face laughing at his expression—he sucks at being upset with you. So you coyly lifted the butter knife again just to provoke him. He grabbed it and glared at you. “Stop doing that. Or I-I’ll...” he trailed off, all bravado disappeared in an instant as you provoked him further, teasing for a consequence when you sensed Gavin’s reluctance. So, you were utterly surprised when the words “no kisses” were thrown. As much as his glares and smugness might fool others, it was not fooling you. You knew Gavin risked losing in this too, there was no way he was going to give up kisses. Daintily wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his hips, you brought him closer and whispered coquettishly, “You sure about that? We both know who loves kisses moreee.” Cheeks tinted pink, Gavin suppressed his embarrassment with a cough and protested but was interrupted when a quick kiss wetted his lips thereby whetting his appetite with need. One kiss teased another and a two and before you knew it, he had his tongue down your throat, the remains of Biscoff sweetening the taste. The kiss, eager like its owner, had you arching your body towards him, hands grasping fistfuls of his hair. With a bite to your lower lip, Gavin pulled away, heavy shaky breaths warming your nose and you were finally released from your daze. “See,” you said but your own breathless voice was betraying your stance. “We both lose,” Gavin said with an air of conspiracy while smirking in his victory. “I may have started all the other kisses after the first but you were the one pulling my neck closer and that led to our last hot kiss.” You rolled your eyes at his mirthful glance and exaggeration, groaning out a reluctant “fineeeee”. Acquiescence was gained but no promises of completely abandoning your habit were made—that chase ended with one final Biscoff filled kiss. 

The wails of the baby had Gavin kissing your sweaty temple, thanking you for giving a gift so precious he swore he would protect him with every fibre of his being. When he held his baby boy in his arms, like all new parents, he was afraid if he could be a good father to his son—one that was unfortunately missing in his own life growing up. But when those big curious brown eyes stared at him, feeling comfortable in his father’s presence, Gavin sealed a promise with tears that this child would never grow to feel the loss of a father’s love. The boy, cautious and quiet but a kind soul that loves so fiercely, revered his parents. The girl gave a scare at first when her cries were not heard. An inexplicable pain, terror and defeat coursed through your body causing you to howl in anguish—Gavin remained beside you failing to comfort you as he himself was overcome by emotions, when ever so slightly her soft wails echoed in the room. No amount of words could describe the utter relief and joy felt as the both of you shared a tearful hug. Gavin was overjoyed to spoil his honey-eyed little princess. A rambunctious soul that brings a smile on both your faces even on the darkest days. So sunny and cheeky in personality, and protective of her family but cries so easily that at times can only be comforted by her father. The boy was quietly happy to have someone to play with, someone that he knew if fights were to happen, he could still count on her—someone that he will love and cherish. 

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A/N: Thank you for reading and welcome new followers!❤️

Delve into my world~

[castershellwrites]

Ghost of Tsushima CYO Fic

Please enjoy this fic, there's a poll under the cut to vote for what you want to happen next. This fic will reach no higher than a teen rating and pairings (if any) will be determined by votes.

This fic is set after the events of the main game and the Iki Island DLC, there will be spoilers. Jin is on Iki island deciding what to do now that the island is free.

Fic and poll under the cut:

Jin Sakai sat atop Kaze, his bay stallion, while the ocean breeze whistled though the plates of their armor. Their armor because Jin had on The Ghost armor made by his late friend Taka, and Kaze’s tack was covered by the armor of his late father’s horse. That armor filled out the still fattening frame of his horse. Kaze certainly wasn’t Kage… he was leaner, faster, and more stubborn… but he was proper samuai’s steed and a loyal companion.

When they’d first been stranded on Iki, Kaze had truly proven himself a capable fighter in his own right. Now, months after the Khan’s defeat and having finally freed Iki from the looming shadow of the Eagle, Jin and Kaze fought together as one. They were of the same mind. Tenzo had commented on it with awe and some jealousy. Jin had only shrugged, unable to come up with a platitude that wouldn’t be condescending or remind them both of the vast difference in their stations.

The ocean waves crashed against the sands and rocks of the coast. The tide was coming in. If he left for Fune’s Refuge now, he’d probably arrive at its zenith, meaning the rocky path would be treacherous and slick. He needed to return to Tsuhima soon, but not at the cost of his life from slipping off a rock and drowning. He’d had a near enough experience to that in Zasho Bay and was loath to trust his luck a second time. Third if he counted falling off the bridge almost  year ago as his first near drowning. Jin shuddered and pointed Kaze inland.

Without realizing it, Jin found their travels took them to Hachibee’s house. He was drawn out of his head by the constant low buzzing. The bees seemed agitated today. Was it the weather? Or perhaps this was their swarming season? Hachibee had many freshly carved logs set at intervals around the clearing and through the nearby forest, prime real-estate for any queen seeking a new home.

Jin dismounted, and chuckled.

Kaze immediately retreated away from the little insects that filled the air. His ears twitched with annoyance, but perked forwards to listen once Jin began playing his flute.

This would likely be the last time he played here, for Hachibee’s bees, or—a second flute joined in harmony as Jin knew it would—with Hachibee. Three songs later Jin stopped for breath and to embrace the feeling of warm sunlight on him. He felt warmed to the bone the same way he had when Hachibee had offered him tea sweetened with honey.

“You’re leaving soon?” the apiarist asked without preamble.

Jin raised an eyebrow and answered the question with another, “How did you know?”

“Your flute sounded melancholy, my lord—uh—Jin.”

“It’s fine. I think half the island knows I’m samurai now.” Jin didn’t voice that only a handful on the island knew his clan. Fune and Tenzo had done well in keeping their own council on the matter.

Hachibee held his flute across his lap and bowed his head. “You don’t deny you’re leaving.”

“I am leaving, soon. I wished to say farewell to you, Hachibee, and to your charges.”

“Safe travels, Jin. Before you go”—Hachibee sprang to his feet, feigning lightness and levity—“allow me to give you a parting gift.”

Jin knows those on Iki don’t have much. He also knows better than to reject generosity and kindness when it offered freely. He accepted Hachibee’s gift gratefully and with a deep bow of his own. The small jars were heavy.

“Honey,” Hachibee proclaimed, “for wounds, medicine, eating. For whatever you need, Jin. Please, travel safely.”

He didn’t ask for Jin to write. Jin never bothered to find out if he was literate. He may try to send a letter back regardless. Hachibee has been a good friend.

“Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated. I will miss playing music with you, and your bees.” Jin bowed again, and waited for Hachibee to rise from his own reciprocating bow before taking his leave. That was one farewell made. His next stop would be Fune’s refuge.

[charonte-simi]

You know what, no, I am not allowing myself to extend this 2 day, 3,000 cal a day, binge into today too. Idc that it's still the weekend. There's no reason why I should hold off on being better until the "next week" starts. Time is fake. Dont give yourself an out cause you will take it. Do it today. Fuck

[hyunjilicious]

I just read what is and what should never be and it was PHENOMENAL! I love everything you write anyway so I was wondering if you could do a small one where Bucky is alone and depressed and he calls yn because he feels lost and she is just there for him? No worries if you can't! I love you anyway 💕

Omg!! You’re too sweet! I really wanted to do this one justice, but I suck at angst... I love you too!! and I’m sorry if this sucks!

Summary: after the events of Endgame, you and Bucky part ways. Even though you haven’t spoken in months, when he needs you, you’re there ANGST 2.2k

Warnings: overall angsty vibes. Sad Bucky. Idk depictions of depression I guess? shitty writing!

“You came” Bucky's surprised tone pulled you out of your thoughts.

Before saying anything else, you shook your head in disbelief. From certain points of view, he looked exactly the same as when you last saw him months ago, but if you looked past his rugged exterior, it was very easy to tell something was truly eating away at his heart.

“Of course I came” you frowned, “You called me”

“Thought you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore” Bucky mumbled.

You looked him up and down, thoroughly confused by his statement, but decided to keep the tone of the conversation from going too dark too fast. “Shut up, Barnes” you scoffed, “Don’t even joke about that.” A hint of a smile appeared at the corner of his lips, but it was forced, you could easily tell he wasn’t truly being himself. “What’s up?”

Bucky took a deep breath as if gathering the courage to word his thoughts. When his eyes met yours he flinched, the pain clouding his otherwise bright blue eyes. He started with a long sigh and a shake of his head but then, cringed as he finally spoke up. “I need help”

His confession went directly to the pit of your stomach. “What happened? Whatever it is, you got it, but what-”

“Nothing happened” Bucky stopped you, “I need help”

“I don’t understand”

“I need someone to-” he sighed, closing his eyes as his head fell forward in what could only be described as shame, “I need someone to talk to” and it was funny, considering he just walked out of his psychiatrist’s office. “Someone that’s not paid to listen to me” he added, “Someone who understands”

It was moments like these that you truly wished Steve was still here. Or Nat. Your best friends, yes, but they were the glue that held you all together, and now in their absence, you were all threatening to fall apart. 

But of course you’d be there for Bucky. Whatever he needed you were more than eager to provide, but at the same time, you were fully aware that your capabilities were limited. You didn’t lack the understanding or the experience, but you lacked the words. You had the sympathy, but not the advice he needed. But you were there. Like you have always been and always will be, so, that afternoon you ended up on his living room floor.

Surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol that had no effect on either of you whatsoever, you sat and listened to him rant his heart out until his throat couldn’t take it anymore. And then he broke down - completely. A full on mess, tears staining his cheeks as the temperature dropped in the room with every other pained groan he’d release. But he let it all out and the weight he had been carrying on his shoulder was unimaginable. There were too many things eating away at his heart, but the guilt was what kept him under its spell, what kept him up for the last months, what was physically destroying him.

“Y/n... “ he called for you, face hidden in his hands as he spoke, “I know you’re gonna say no, but-”

“No,” you stopped him, “Then don’t ask me”

“Please”

“No, Bucky” you sighed, grabbing his wrist so you could look him in the eyes, “If you already know it’s a bad idea, please don’t tell me because I’m afraid I’ll actually go through with it right now”

“But i can’t fucking sleep!” he cried out loud, falling back against the couch, arms propped up on his knees, “I keep having the same nightmares over and over again, and I can’t take it anymore”

“You don’t-” you took a deep breath, “You don’t want me to erase your mind, do you?”

The look in his eyes proved that that was exactly what he wanted. And the unshed tears that coated the otherwise pure and radiant blue of his eyes was almost enough to convince you.

“Please-” he begged, “I-”

“No, Buck” you shook your head and shuffled to face him properly, “As time passes, it’s only gonna get worse. The past will eventually catch up to you. You’ll want to know what you did”

He didn’t have it in him to fight you, so silence settled for a while. “You know sedatives don’t work on me?”

“I… never thought about it, but that makes sense”

Bucky gathered his lips into a tight line and nodded his head.

“Lady shrink isn’t of any help?” you asked.

“I have no clue what she’s doing” he shrugged, “Maybe it’s good in the long run, but fuck if I know how she expects me to make any kind of progress right now”

“You are, tho” you reassured him, “Making progress I mean”

“Am I?” Bucky laughed incredulously.

“Yes! You’re almost completely on your own feet. You really pushed through”

“Or maybe I’m just ignoring all of my problems”

“You just told me about them” you chuckled, and threw an arm over his shoulders.

Hesitatingly at first, he eventually leaned in into your hold, allowing himself to completely fall against your chest. “I hate this”

“I think that’s a given” you laughed, curling your fingers around the roots of his way too short hair. “A wise man once said that whenever someone acts like they have their shit together, they’re either lying or delusional”

“Who said that?”

“I don’t know” you confessed, “I saw that on the internet”

For the first time that night, you actually heard him laugh, and it sounded so good - it was short and weak, but it was sweet and honest. “That’s a pathetic attempt at cheering me up, but I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it” Bucky said as he pushed himself up.

“I wish I could do more” you mumbled, “But I don’t know what, or how, but-”

“Thank you”

“You don’t have to thank me, you know that” you smiled.

He didn’t know that. He’d never stop thanking you for even the smallest gestures. The day where Bucky would understand that kindness, in some cases, is a given, was far away, but you had the patience and determination to work for it.

As you talked and talked, and the topic of conversation kept shifting from one area to the other, the sun set, night settling outside his small windows. It was time for you to leave, and you would’ve done it, had he asked you not to at the last second.

You had your shoes on and one hand on the door handle, when he stumbled over his words, obviously too shy to properly hold his ground. “Actually can you- can you-” he mumbled, pointing to his couch, “Can you stay here tonight?”

And of course you did. The night didn’t last much longer after that, with Bucky settling on the floor, only a blanket to keep him company, and you sprawled out on the couch as silence settled.

But your mind was too busy to drift off. You knew his’ was too, but decided to refrain from speaking up, hoping to let him fall asleep, even for a short while.

It was loud inside your head. You always promised yourself you’d never intrude on someone’s thoughts and read through them without their approval, but you physically felt Bucky radiate energy, and your mind just slipped. But then, your heart almost stopped.

You saw yourself. You saw yourself slapping him back in Wakanda when he decided to go under ice again, you saw yourself moving a car out of his way back in Bucharest, when you risked your life for his because you trusted Steve that much, and because you were that good of a friend. You saw yourself at Tony’s funeral, eyes shiny with tears and then felt an almost uncontrollable urge to hug yourself - and then realised it wasn’t your urge, it was Bucky’s. At this point, your heart beat so fast you were actually afraid he’d hear it. But when goosebumps appeared all over your skin, you realised he couldn’t hear you, that he was asleep and that the nightmares started materializing. 

What convinced you to act on it was the sudden jerk of his body and the way to fully tensed instantly after. So, unable to just sit and watch, you rolled over to the side and allowed your hand to fall by his temple, little specks of light rolling off the tips of your fingers as you forced the thoughts away. Seconds later, you saw him relax and shift around, gathering the blanket he laid on to his chest as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

His relaxed form and the steady pace of his breathing put a smile on your face. But you made the mistake of thinking this was a one time thing, however, before you realised, you found yourself leaning over him again, ushering yet another wave of nightmares away. And it kept being an ongoing process until the sun rose, and you cursed yourself as you did not get one second of shut eye. But it was worth it. The sight of him finally resting, knowing he spent his night in his happy place that you this time did not intrude on, made up for your tiredness. 

When Bucky drifted out of his deep sleep, you figured it was safe to relax too. But knowing that if you went to sleep right now you wouldn’t wake up until noon, you stood up, determined to give him the full best friend experience.

But all you found in his kitchen was a box of stale cereal, a soft cucumber and candy wrappers. Had he not looked so adorable sleeping shirtless and curled into a ball on the floor, you would have woken him up yelling. But instead, you decided to order some food, and the simple fact that the sound of the delivery guy ringing the doorbell didn’t wake him up, actually terrified you. With a life like yours, no one sleeps that deeply, but then there he was, snoring away the late hours of the morning. 

By the time he finally stirred awake, the food was already cold, and you were bored out of your mind. “What- what time is it?” he mumbled, voice rich with sleep.

“A little bit past 2” you yawned from your spot on the couch.

“2 pm?” Bucky huffed, sitting up in a hurry and rushing to grab his phone. “What the-” he turned to you confused, “It’s 2pm…”

“Yeah” you sighed, “And the food is cold”

“Food?” Bucky gawked, looking over at the small table by the window, “You got food?”

“You didn’t have any” you defended yourself. You wanted to scold him for not taking better care of himself, but he looked so homey and cozy and vulnerable, that you couldn’t bring yourself to.

Eventually, you stood up and walked over to him. “I’ll let you eat, Buck, but I gotta go” you sighed, giving him a hug, “Got some stuff to do” you lied, by stuff meaning sleep, since you were exhausted.

“Yeah, of course” he mumbled in agreement, wrapping his arms around your frame, and bringing you closer. He sank his head into the crook of your neck, holding you to his chest for a moment longer than you would have considered friendly. But you didn’t complain, his hold was stern and loving, and you really needed that right now. “Thank you” Bucky added when he finally let you go. His right palm cupped your cheek as he looked down at you, awe and admiration in his eyes.

“Nothing to thank me for, Buck” you smiled, and then pulled away.

He silently watched you get ready to leave, following you around until you reached the door and turned around to say goodbye. And it was weird. Your heart boomed against your ribcage, and you didn’t have to read his thoughts to know he was feeling the same kind of nervous. And it may have been the one too many stories you read but you actually feared something was going to happen. Thankfully, it didn’t. Instead you shared another hug, and parted ways.

However, all you managed to do was reach the staircase before you heard his door open, followed by the sound of his bare feet sprinting down the hallway. “What are you-”

“Can you stay?” he asked, shaking from head to toe, “In New York I mean, can you please stay? Just a few more days”

“Well, I- yeah, I guess I can” you mumbled.

“I just, I need a few more days. You’re screwing my head back on, I just need you now. Steve is gone, and Sam is all the way in Louisiana and I hate phones and I-”

“Wow-” you laughed, “I’m not even the second choice, I’m the third?”

“Shut up, Y/n” Bucky frowned, “Stop being a smartass for a second”

“I’m sorry” you rolled your eyes, but he didn’t care.

In the blink of an eye, Bucky threw his arms around your shoulders and hugged you close, and you weren’t sure if the ‘I love you’ that echoed inside your mind had actually been spoken or just thought, but it was everything you never knew you needed.

[beyondspaceandstars]

One shot | Bucky | Fluffy: 1 , 9 | Angst: 5 , 6 | w/ a happy ending

I kinda wanted to make it a challenge, and I thought these prompts were the most interesting! If you do choose to do it, I hope you have fun! Have a great day ❤️

Pizza With a Side of Confessions

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: N/A, bit fluff, bit angst

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: thank you so so much for requesting! this also include in the second ask you sent i did see it and make note of it! you certainly did give me a challenge here this one took some real mapping out to complete but i think i got it i hope i checked off all the boxes :)

Masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You had sworn the knock on your door was going to be from your date. The sleazy, creepy date you had just rejected on the stoop of your apartment building.

He had ended up being the complete opposite of what he appeared to be online. Through text messages, he seemed caring and kind. Interested in you. But then when you two met… He hands kept groping. Wandering. Caressing. You had begged him to stop in the restaurant which he eventually did after he walked you home, something you only agreed to to keep the peace, he began working on you again and you had to put your foot down, forbidding the night from going further.

He didn’t look too happy about your attitude which made you assume when that knock landed on your door, it was him and he was coming back for revenge. You had grabbed the first knife you could find and quickly pulled the door open, ready to hopelessly defend yourself…

But as you blinked back the tears cascading down your face, welling in your eyes, you saw a familiar pair of blue eyes along with a familiar frown.

"Bucky?" You sniffled, still pointing the knife at your best friend’s chest.

"Hey, doll," Bucky said, cautiously. He was standing as still as he could while also balancing a pizza box in his arms. "Do you… Do you maybe want to drop the knife, like, right now?"

You shook yourself out of your daze, quickly pulling the knife away from him. He visibly relaxed but his expression was cold, serious, as it took in your upset form. You brought the back of your hand to your face trying to get rid of the tears but they just wouldn’t stop.

"I-I’m sorry," you mumbled as you stepped away from the doorway, letting Bucky into the apartment. He immediately abandoned the pizza on your kitchen counter and turned to you, brows furrowing in waves of worry.

"What happened?" He asked — well, more like growled. If a man could growl. He truly sounded beyond angry which made you jump a bit. Bucky must’ve noticed because he immediately took a step back and tried recomposing himself. "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just — seeing you cry — I need to know, whose ass am I kicking now."

You let out a light laugh at that, seeing his such protective side. You and Bucky had formed quite an interesting friendship over time. When you two first met, he loved bickering with you, teasing you here and there about anything and everything. You’d be the bud of the joke with him and while you tried not to let it bother you, admittedly, it had very quickly gotten quite annoying. Eventually, he seemed to just abandon the act and while you were cautious, you welcomed the newfound friendship — Lord knows those were hard to come across in adulthood.

Bucky has been an amazing friend to you ever since. Maybe even a little too amazing because over time you couldn’t deny some feelings had begun to form. But in your eyes, there could be no way such a handsome, funny man was going to be as interested in you. You tried to suppress it and instead just taught yourself to enjoy his little acts of kindness.

"I-I went on another date tonight," you sighed, setting the knife back in its holder. You leaned against the counter, opposite of Bucky. His arms were folded, waiting. "I and this guy had been texting for a while and… and I really thought he was great, I truly did, but then when we met he just made me so uncomfortable. All touchy, feely… Just making my skin crawl, even now." You sighed, dropping your gaze to the kitchen floor. "I told him I wasn’t interested after he walked me home and he didn’t seem very happy about it so… When you knocked, I thought it was him trying to get into my apartment."

You felt like such a fool explaining the situation. Despite this being Bucky and knowing, at some capacity, he wasn’t going to hold it over you, it was still embarrassing. You seemed to be constantly going on these dates trying to find a partner and time after time you came up disappointed. And Bucky would always be there to pick up the pieces.

When you looked back up at your friend, you found he was studying you closely. He was sure taking a while to respond but, then again, what more could he say? You felt he probably had grown exhausted trying to comfort you after these failed dates.

And it seemed your suspicions had been confirmed — but not in a way you could have ever seen coming.

Bucky cleared his throat as if he was preparing. You took a deep breath, ready for whatever blow he was about to serve. Would he yell at you? Would he give some speech on his disappointed he is? Beg you to delete the apps? Would he—

"Maybe you just shouldn’t be going on those dates anymore."

"Huh?" You frowned.

Bucky sighed. "You can’t keep putting yourself through this."

"But how else will I find someone to date? I’m not getting any younger here, Buck."

He turned away suddenly. You heard him let out a deep sigh. Your heart was pounding loudly in your ears.

"You could maybe start by looking at the man in front of you."

Your jaw just about hit the floor. "B-Bucky—"

But there was no stopping him as he went in for the declaration. "Remember when we first met and I used to tease you relentlessly? At the time, did it ever cross your mind that maybe, just maybe, I didn’t hate you? That I wasn’t doing it out of spite? I was doing it because I was nervous. Here waltzes in this amazing, beautiful woman, and I-I didn’t know what to do. I was falling for you and I couldn’t stop it. Hell, I’m still falling for you. Every day, darling. Every goddamn day." He paused, shaking his head. "I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear tonight but I can’t sit here any longer watching you get taken advantage of by the men in this city. I’m sorry it’s coming out like this but I think you needed to hear it. I apologize for that but I won’t apologize for loving you."

You didn’t know what to do. All you could focus on was Bucky’s pleading eyes and the tears forming in your own. But they were coming on for a good reason this time. They weren’t wasted tears over an uncomfortable date. They were tears of relief.

"Do-Do you really mean all that?" You finally asked.

Bucky nodded. "Every word."

In a spontaneous move, you pushed yourself away from the counter and took determined strides towards Bucky. You threw your arms around his waist, burying your face in his shirt. It took Bucky a second to react but you eventually felt his arms snake around you.

"I love you, too, Buck," you mumbled into his chest. You felt his body shake as he chuckled.

"You sure, doll?"

You nodded. "I’ve loved you for a while, too. I just never thought you’d ever…"

"Stop," Bucky said. "Don’t say anymore. Whatever you thought, it’s not true. I have always loved you."

You pulled away from his chest, putting some distance between you two but keeping your arms locked around him. He was looking down at you with a great mixture of relief and adornment on his face. You couldn’t help but smile. You felt the same.

"I can’t believe this," you giggled. "So are we… Are we like…"

Bucky laughed. "I think we need a date first."

You gasped, happily. "A date?"

He nodded then untangled himself from you. You watched as Bucky walked over to the forgotten pizza. "How about pizza and a movie?"

You looked between Bucky and the pizza box. "Bucky, do you want to explain why you were at my door with a pizza?"

Realization flashed across Bucky’s face. "I-I didn’t come here expecting a date or anything, I swear. I stopped by because… well, I didn’t know you had your date and thought at the very least we could hang out. I even got your favorite."

You smiled, stalking over to the pizza. "Pepperoni and jalapeños?"

Bucky scoffed. "I did say I got your favorite, didn’t I?"

You let out a cheerful squeal as you hugged Bucky again, throwing your arms around his neck. He leaned into you and it all felt natural, like the stars in the sky had finally aligned.

You broke away and said, "You take the pizza and find a movie. I’ll grab some plates."

Bucky agreed and you two broke into your separate tasks, eventually coming back together to sit on your living room couch. At first, though, you two just kind of stood there, the smell of pizza wafting between you two. You weren’t just sitting on the couch to watch a movie — you were sitting down, on a date, to watch a movie.

But you were tired of being so hesitant and running into wrongs after wrongs. You were taking this opportunity. You sat on the couch and patted the spot right next to you. Once Bucky sat down, you got a bit bolder and threw his arm over you, allowing you to cuddle into him. He was a bit tense at first but soon eased up, welcoming you to invade his space.

Bucky had decided on some action movie but you didn’t particularly care about it. All you could focus on was the fact you were cuddling with Bucky while eating pizza. It was a date. A real date where the touching felt natural and you weren’t scared of saying the wrong thing. Had you really been so blind?"

The emotions and questions within you were building quickly. You needed a way to break it, to distract yourself. You landed on your sad, silly humor to save the day.

"Hey, Buck," you mumbled as the car on screen blew up or something. You didn’t know, you just shifted closer into Bucky — if that was even possible. His hold on you got tighter.

"Yeah, doll?"

"Remember when I pulled a knife on you? That’s crazy. Who would’ve guessed a little civilian like myself could hold a knife to the Winter Soldier and live to tell the tale." You were well aware that you were rambling now, the roller coaster of a night catching up to you, but Bucky didn’t seem to mind.

The laughter that escaped him was like music to your ears. His body shook beneath you as he comically laughed at your ridiculous comment.

“You drive me up the wall sometimes, darling," Bucky mumbled back once he had calmed down.

You giggled, "Better get used to it."

"Yeah," he sighed, "I guess I better."

[dasomlimie]

Heyyy! I hope ur doing okay if ur requests r open can l request reader asking if she can see whats under sanzu’s mask like that one scene in naruto where he tried so hard to see kakashi’s mask something similar and funny like that take ur time l love ur work <333

%% BEHIND THAT MASK! #!/

characters : aged up!—Sanzu Haruchiyo

a/n : i cant believe im rewrtiting this sorry if this is half assed tumblr didn't save my draft earlier, enjoy ig

Sanzu Haruchiyo..... your masked bf sometimes you were wondering what behind that mask but ofc you wanted to respect his boundaries and dont want to make him uncomfortable, but curiousity start to eat you alive so you have a little plan in your mind

sometimes there's a lot of idea in your mind on why Sanzu didn't remove his mask, maybe he have big lips that unmatched with his face future? or maybe he have crooked teeth? or even worse he doesn't have mouth! but you scratched the last idea since how did he speak if he doesn't have mouth? his nose? yeah that idea once stuck in your head but you decided to remove it because it doesn't make sense at all

you called Sanzu to meet you up infront of a restaurant which he agreed since maybe you were hungry and he is too, you greet Sanzu before taking his hand and walk into the restaurant with him

"today is my treat" you said smiling he raise an eyebrow you were cheerful more than usual "did something good happen?" he ask you shook his head "nope i just wanted to spend time with my lovely boyfriend" you said he nodded start looking at the menu

"are you ready to order?" he ask after a few minutes you nodded letting him call the waiter, you both said your order as the writer write down your order, you noticed Sanzu's order was a heavy meal he probably going to remove his mask

you smile to yourself before mentally patting yourself for coming up with this idea as soon as your food arrived you stare at Sanzu causing him to raise an eyebrow "whats up my love?" he ask you shook your head "nothing eat up" he nod "you too" you nod

you stare as he was about to remove his mask until your phone start ringing you look at the caller ID noticing it was your boss you look at Sanzu "eat first i have to answer this call" you said he nod as he watch your figure walking out from the restaurant

you listen to your boss rant about how her husband keep cancelling their date and how she think he was cheating on her while you were wondering why the hell your boss telling you all of this as she finally hang up you walk into the restaurant only to be greeted by Sanzu scrolling through his phone you blink

"oh baby! what took you too long? oh and im sorry i finished my food first i haven't eat since yesterday" he said giving you closed eyes smile you nod sitting "did you forgot to eat again?" you ask he nod "im very busy yesterday and just go to sleep as soon as i got home" he said you nod

attempt 1 : failed

"want some?" you ask offering your food he shook his head "im full already" he said you nodded visibly deflated "whats up pretty girl? you were all cheerful a while ago" he said chuckling you shook your head from side to side finding a reason and decided to use your boss phone call as your reason "she did it again" you said he pat your head

"did she start ranting to you again? what was is about?" he ask you sigh "about her husband this and that you know the usual why don't they just divorce?" you said leaning to your chair

"maybe you should find a new job if you were that sick of your boss personal life rant" he said you nodded "yeah i should" you said

the second attempt might make him mad but what is life without a little thrill and spice right? right.

you took a deep breath before apologizing gripping the tray in your hand you walk inside the room smiling at Sanzu you walk toward him then purposely trip yourself

you watch everything happen in slow motion how the juice flew and wetting his mask you cheer silently before your face kiss the floor you groan but being muffled by your carpet Sanzu gasp ignoring his wet clothes and mask

"y/n?! are you okay? oh my why are you suddenly become clumsy?" he ask as he help you to get up you have to swallow your image its not even 6 month into your relationship here you are doing stupid things just to what behind his mask

he hiss when he saw your red forehead with a little bloody lips "we should get that lips treated" he suggest you nodded "let me put this away your hoodie was in my closet along with extra mask" you said silently before walking out from the room leaving a little space for you to peak in

you feel your cheeks heat up as you watch his half naked body you silently cheer as he was about to remove his mask when your doorbell rang causing you to curse silent

you keep debating either to look and discover what behind your boyfriend mask or to answer the door you were deep in thought when Sanzu clear his throat his cheeks tinted with rosy pink just like his hair

"i didn't know you're that type of person" he said clearing his throat again you look up before cursing yourself "oh no you got the wrong idea let me go and answer the door ok?" you said walking a little bit too faster "be careful!" Sanzu called as he look you who almost tripped twice

attempt 2 : failed

you look at Sanzu as you keep following—more like stalking—him you tried to make sure you didn't lost him maybe he would remove his mask at the most random time especially when he's alone? yeah thats what you think ,you were now dressed in all black outfit paired with black cap and black mask

yup much like a stalker

you watch him keep turning and leading you to a dark hallways wondering what he was doing here, little did you know he noticed you following him but didn't have any idea it was his girlfriend

"fuck" you curse silently as you lost him you were about to take another turn when someone pull you to opposite turn you yelped both in suprise and pain when your back make a harsh contact to the cold and dirty wall you hiss from how strong someone's grip on your hands is

"who are you and why are you following me?" he ask you stay silent too scared to answer him, Sanzu chuckle "why are you all silent? acting all scared are we?" he said you shiver under his sharp gaze

"i ask you questions" he said you shut your eyes he sigh annoyed and start to loose his patients then decided to remove both your mask and cap you felt his grip on your hands loosening

"y/n?" he said in softer voice than earlier you still shut your eyes tightly slightly trembling "darling look at me" he said as one of hand slither to your waist while the other cup your cheeks thumb caressing your cheeks "open your eyes my love im not going to hurt you" he said you open your eyes slowly meeting his soften gaze

"why are you following me like that? i thought you were one of those people who tried to get me again" he said chuckling you didn't answer instead hugging him burying your face into his chest

"did i scare you that much?" he ask you shook your head as a no, you were actually embarassed of yourself for doing dumb thing to get him to remove his mask

"then why?" he ask hugging you close to him "im sorry" you said he raise an eyebrow "why?" "im sorry for doing dumb thing lately and following you like earlier" you said he chuckled you look up to him

"i get it now" he said removing you from him gently then cup your cheeks with both of his hands "you know you can just ask right?" you pout "i just dont want to make you feel uncomfortable" he shook his head

"you will never im actually waiting for you to ask me by yourself" he said you nodded "then can i uh you know" he nod letting you remove his mask

heart beating loudly Sanzu was prepared from any insult from you yet nothing came our from your mouth, does he freak you out? he was about to apologize when you whispered out a very unexpected word he expects you to say

"beautiful" you said he froze not believing what he just heard "what?" he ask for confirmation "i said beautiful" you repeat before caressing his scars with both of your thumb he sigh in relief

"really? i thought you were going to freaked out" he said you shook your head with confused face while your attention was still on his face "why would i?" you ask

"people always told me its disgusting i thought you would too but apparently not im relieved" you heart broke a little from his words "who the hell said your scars is disgusting?! let me beat them up" you said with determination he shook his head "its okay you were an absolute angel i cant imagine you beating people up" he said pressing a kiss on your forehead

"you look hotter without mask" you whisper he smile "is that so?" he ask you nodded then cover his face with his mask "and only me can see you my beautiful and handsome and hot boyfriend without his mask no one can see your full face they would fall for you" you said he chuckled before ruffling your hair

"whatever you say angel" he said you smile as he lead you out from the hallway just so your know he would use your silly attempt to tease you in the future

attempt 3 : successfully failed

!%! © HNEULWH— i did not allow my work to be used or adapted in any form without my permission !#//

[running-with-kn1ves]

Yo, waddup, I'm back asking for more Ira content cause I've become emotionally attached to him 😎 what about headcanons where the reader is cosplayer? Up to you who/what they cosplay but I'm intersested in how he would act if you don't feel comfortable doing this just ignore it or change it however you would like

I am SO sorry it took so long for me to reply to this ask;;; Honestly, I love the idea of a darling that cosplays-- whether or not it's against their will ^^

Ira Part 1

TW: Yandere behaviors, threats/violence

--You’d definitely be forced to be in uncomfortable positions, ones that get the best angles for him to take pictures. You’re like Ira's ‘muse’ in a way when it comes to features. He wants to amplify your perfections, everything about you that allured him. He’ll definitely find characters that suit your features, whatever that may be. While you might not think you fit the same characteristics as a certain character, Ira will think the opposite. Of course you’re perfect for any role, but there are special ones he’s just been dying to see you dressed up as.

--Especially when it comes to characters that wear revealing or intricate outfits. He especially likes tight or flowy fabrics, ones that are elegant and make you seem nearly ethereal. Ira will buy a camera specifically for this reason-- well, cosplay isn’t the sole cause. He certainly has other ideas in mind with it too.

--Once he guilts you into agreeing, this man will go ALL OUT. He doesn’t want some shoddy pictures or cheap costumes; no, he’s willing to live off of top ramen and cereal for a little while if it means making his 2D dreams come true. He’s already obsessed with you, with the possibilities; there’s no way to stop Ira when his mind is set on something.

--He’d be very invested, and dare I say he’d go to the point of making some of the parts of the costume himself. For things he couldn’t find on the internet or weren’t up to his standards, Ira would them create himself. He has his own mental image of how its going to look, and wants to make sure it turns out as good as possible. Even if that means going through hours of fittings in order to try everything on and to make it exactly to your measurements, along with alterations.

-- Ira has a distaste for ‘cheap’ characters when it comes to his enjoyment. Yes, he’ll eat cheese straight out of the package but don’t think for a second he’ll fall so easily for a character that has an above-average chest or bulging muscles as their personality trait. He sees himself as above that, thinking you only worthy of characters that match your strength and determination. Though, he wouldn’t mind if those characters also happened to have revealing assets.

--Will make you cosplay iconically attractive characters, especially ones from his childhood that he fondly remembers crushing on. Ones from shitty MMORPGs that he plays daily are not exempt either. Characters like Bayonetta or Danny Phantom are prime possibilities as they fit perfectly for what Ira is trying to achieve.

--Don’t even get Ira started on the coupe cosplays you’ll be forced to endure. He could rant about it for days-- especially all the roleplaying scenarios he wants to capture and the lines he’ll want you to say. At this point, its nearly a production and he only slightly wishes there was a second version of himself so he could do it all at once.

--The shut-in will get increasingly more agitated and frustrated the longer he starts working. The little things like not being able to find a certain fabric or the right make-up products will begin to grow on him even more. It was just a minor hobby the first time Ira suggested it, but the longer you allow him to dress you up, the more involved he’ll become. He’ll get more strict on what you can and cannot wear, along with what you do with your hair or your daily routine. He never cared much before-- just happy that you two were together-- but now he feels the need for control. Especially because you’re so willing when he has a knife to your throat.

[bvccy]

Friend, if you are still open for request, can you please do Heliotrope with the Winter Soldier? 🥺 please thank you 💛💛💛

My dear 😭 I am so so sorry for how long this took! I just hope you can enjoy the fic. It’s a little bit spooky at the beginning, but WS is soft and so is our reader. And they get their happy-ever-after 💗

Thank you very much for this prompt also! 🌺🌺🌺

— PAIRING: soft!Winter Soldier x female!Reader — PROMPT: Heliotrope - walking in the sun, and losing each other — LINKS: Masterlist • love stones prompt list — WORDCOUNT: 2.1k

They had been living in darkness for months, and the oppressive cold that battered against the walls with fierce winds all day, and hungry howls at night — not that one could tell night from day in the sunless vastness, except by the ticking of the clock.

Hydra had installed that arctic facility at the mouth of a crater, covered by ice over the ages to conceal its dubious treasure. It was clear to the Soldier that the treasure was not made up of precious things, but it was only when the crew finished digging all the way down that he understood why all the scientists were there...

It was difficult for him to tell who the shuttle belonged to. It might have been some advanced technology from America, but then how did it get so deep down, so quickly? Maybe it was an old German prototype from the war, but it didn't look like any he'd seen before. Or maybe Hydra was just recovering their old property from past attempts... It didn't matter, he was just there to guard the scientists while they did the work.

The other soldiers stationed with him stopped taking the job seriously after the first three months, but he kept watch, and paid attention, and didn't miss the odd slimes that seeped across the floor out of those metal shells, nor the odd crunch as the scientists cut into something that looked soft and milky, but held like bone. And the smells, the cold metallic smells like iron dipped in silver... It sometimes felt like home, but he knew better than to let that grip him. And he kept watch.

The one chemist that doubled as the chef didn't make particularly good meals, but they were hearty, and if he was being honest, he was eating better at this isolated station than he did at the Base — felt freer too, almost in charge of his destiny, if one didn't count the frozen wastes he'd have to survive if he ever wanted to run. But the Soldier couldn't imagine why he'd ever wish to run.

Especially when she was here.

Studying the files of all the scientists on the mission, her portrait stood out as particularly sad, morose, with a bit of a death glare toward the cameraman. But when he actually saw her, she seemed sweet like a spring day and even happy to be there. She looked up into his eyes as she walked into the protected area to study their find, blinking up from beneath a mess of furs and protective equipment, but there was a smile crinkling around her gaze. As the months drew on and everyone got more bored with staying there, and loose with themselves, they'd sometimes play some music in the lab, and the Soldier didn't know why he liked it so much or felt the need to dance with someone.

The military staff initially had their own mess hall, a small room with a kitchenette where they could eat together, but then one of the doctors needed it to test the effects of temperature changes on some of the samples, and the place was... contaminated every since. Now, they all ate together. The girl who'd caught his eye tended to eat with her own team, the Geologists, but he could feel her looking at him sometimes, he noticed her lingering when he was around even if she was about to leave, and a few times she even dared approach him — under the excuse of getting the jar of sugar that was on his other side rather than reaching for the one next to her, or leaning down to get some plate she didn't need from right by his knees. It wasn't until she tried to reach a glass above his head, beyond her grasp, that he gave in and acknowledged her.

"Thank you," she said as he handed her the cup — the first time she'd ever said anything to him. Her voice suited her, but beyond its soft tones the Soldier was struck by being thanked at all. When was the last time that happened? What did one say in response?

"You're welcome?"

And he seemed so unsure saying it that he made her giggle.

She was inevitable after that, not because she was trying to be found but because he allowed himself to be around her, to guard her door while she chipped at stones and studied them, to sit near her during lunch — not right beside her, the Soldier still had a lingering shyness about that, but at least on the table opposite, from which they could look at each other if they wanted.

The long night was almost over, four months into their stay at this forsaken place, and the pair had taken to something really dangerous: in the small barn attached to the base, where some dry supplies were kept along with canisters of fuel, they escaped together while everyone else slept. He had led her there first, asking timidly whether she'd...

"Want to see something new?"

"Always," the girl grinned.

And so they found themselves piled on top of one another like firewood, almost not feeling each other beneath the layers of fur that kept them warm, but just being in each other's presence was... something. It was quiet without being quiet, with another real soul there, thinking its own thoughts in harmony with you.

The Asset wouldn't allow himself to fall asleep, though he did close his eyes sometimes and let the girl relax against him, and doze off, and during those times he allowed his arm to come down from where it propped his head up and wrap itself around her, holding her still — as if she were in danger of falling off some imaginary bed.

Nobody ever seemed to wonder where they both disappeared to, nobody noticed, which was why he was all the more surprised to hear shouting on that day. The Soldier didn't move, just tightened his arm around his little partner more. But when a bloodcurdling cry echoed through the vastness, he shook her awake.

"Wha—"

"Get up. The base is under attack," he muttered, reaching for the rifle laid beside him.

"That's crazy, who would attack us all the way out here?"

He didn't want to tell her what he thought, but only made her hide out in the shed while he went out to scout the area. Turning his radio on, nothing came through. There were no helicopters around, no trucks, no marks in the snow that anyone had attacked — at least, not from the outside. On the horizon, just the rays of a reluctant dawn were shining.

There was silence for a while, and then another symphony of screams rang out, muffled by the walls and the desperate shots of whoever was left inside, glass and metal knocked over, broken, and silence once again. Stepping away slowly, then more hurriedly, the Soldier returned to where he'd left the girl and picked her up by the elbow.

"Come on, we're leaving."

"Leaving where?" she cried out, confused and even slightly angry. "What's going on?"

"We're under attack."

"But our research..."

The Soldier dragged her to where the trucks were parked, and after the first flush of confusion she went along quietly. He gave her the rifle to hold while he looked in the back, making sure they had enough supplies for whatever drive awaited them — gas was there, some blankets too, and more ammunition. It would have to do. And without sparing another moment, he got in beside her and drove off. Against the rumbling of the engine as it drifted on the ice, a shrill scream cut through the frozen air and reached them, not sounding human nor animal nor like anything in the world, except perhaps a demon. The girl didn't look back, she wouldn't dare, she just looked quietly at the Soldier as she slowly understood. They drove into the sunrise as its rays burned away everything behind, and the snowdrifts buried it.

They didn't stop until the sky was bright as a midday, many hours later.

"Are we slowing down?" the girl mumbled sleepily.

"We're nearing a town," he said, eyes on the GPS. "Need to check that the road is clear. And that we are, too."

She stretched the shivers from her bones, but deep down she trusted the Soldier to keep them safe.

Getting out in what-felt-like days, frozen stiff, muscles aching from the shot of fear that penetrated down to her bones, the girl got out and reached for the sky with all she had. The air felt freer and fresher than ever before, even though it still hurt her lungs when it reached to their very bottom, but she loved such a pain — it felt like life.

The Asset walked slowly to her, just watching silently and smiling a half-smile at the sight of her all ruffled and soft, and safe.

"What do you think happened to the base?"

"Guess it's a mess by now," he hummed, bringing one gloved hand to feel around her head, her shoulders, down her arms, but always gently.

"We woke that thing up, didn't we?"

"You're the smart one, you tell me."

Her lips pursed — she never liked it when he teased her, but she tried never to reproach him for it, loving this sign of his personality shining through. "Are we far enough away now?"

"I don't know," he sighed, finally looking back into her eyes. "Are we?"

"The sun would kill it."

"How do you know that?"

She didn't answer but wouldn't look away either, and her determined gaze was enough for him. She did know more than he did, she'd spent months studying whatever that was, and that was fine by him. So long as none of it had managed to sneak on board.

"Stay close to me."

They walked around the car together and he checked the back, the wheels, then climbed on top and checked there too. Through the clearness of the day, he could even see the edges of a road that must've lead to that town. The car seemed clean, but they were close enough to a rescue that he'd rather not take any risks, and so picking up just a few useful things and one backpack, they started walking.

The snow got less deep and crunched beneath their boots, the wind was gentler downhill and even moved through the tendrils loosened from their hoods, shaking off the frost. In the distance, one tree stood tall, thin and dark and barren but alive, and over all of them the sun kept shining.

"We're almost at the road," said the Soldier, spotting a black snaking line a few meters ahead. He turned his head when he didn't hear anything back, but there was only the glint of sunlight on the snow.

Amorphous fog covered the horizons, and hills and dales of white, and suddenly the light felt very hot and burned his body as he turned frantically around and called for her. With mad fear, he traced back their steps up the snowy hill, nearly swimming through it as he called for her, terrified of the unthinkable.

Then, as if from the sea, a lone hand reached up and waved at him. Within one breath, he'd reached her, sitting in the snow just a few feet away.

"I'm so tired..." she huffed, burrowing like a rabbit. "Can't we rest a while?"

"You didn't rest enough in the car? Get up," he grumbled, pulling her up to her feet. He regretted snapping as soon as he saw her sad little face, and sighed. "I'm sorry. I was worried."

"I'm sorry too, for being so weak..."

Before thinking, he pulled her in and kissed the snow off her mouth. "None of that," he smiled as their lips parted. "Come on, we're so close. I'll carry you a bit if you want."

The girl shook her head mutely, face already flushed from frost but now truly heated. To be cared for, and worried about, and searched like that, and kissed... It put the life right back into her.

He kept his word and carried her in his arms at one point, but they both walked in the town together. Nobody knew who they were or where they came from and some had a few murmured questions, but by the time Hydra sent an extraction team for them, it didn't matter — they were gone, lost in the wind like two rays of sunshine.

[fosermi]

SEMI BACK FROM THE DEAD PEOPLE

That's right! I'm back! And I bring to you CHAPTER 3 OF GUARDIAN MACAQUE AU

WHY?! Well because I couldn't sleep well and it's 5 am fuck my headache I give you content!! Fair warning: Macaque is a soft monkey especially to kids AND YOU CAN PRY THIS HC FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS ABDJFKCMCM

Some days, Biming would leave to sell the rice cultivated in their field to the neighbouring village. An oddity, Hóu realised. Why sell to another village? He didn't understand… After all, there were other houses in their village. 

"Hóu?" Ai's soft voice called for the demon. Oddly enough, it wasn't her usual tone that came through her call. 

Immediately detecting the shift from her usual beat, the black monkey jumped down from his position on the plum tree that grew in the back garden of the couple's home. The tree upon which the monkey would spend most of his free time on whenever he could. "You called, Mrs. Ai?" 

"Oh! Yes, dear…" her voice dripped with worry - fear even. In her arms a red cloak, outstretched as if allowing him to take it. "Could you please accompany Biming to the town today…?" Her eyes glimmering under the morning sun with worry, begged the black monkey to take on her request. 

Hóu, with an immediate nod, complied as he gently took the cloak from Ai's grasp. Hesitantly, the black monkey built up enough courage to ask the kind lady, her worry affecting his own. 

"Mrs. Ai… is everything alright…?" His hand reached out to Ai’s in an attempt to comfort her as his eyes locked with hers, taking notes of the high level of worry embedded deep within her honey-brown eyes.

Seeing the concern in Hóu's golden eyes, Ai's tense shoulders fell as she let out a shaky breath. "Ling Fa… he warned us that demons moved in close to the rout Biming takes to the other village…" 

Ling Fa… yes…

He was the family's guardian spirit… it was his duty to protect the family, right? Of course he would warn the kind couple.

By late morning, Biming and Hóu had headed out on the road on the small mule-pulled cart with their cargo safely secured. Ling Fa had stayed behind to ensure Ai's safety as he would not have been much help with manual labor. 

Hóu rode on the back of the cart as his mind drifted off to the thoughts of the strange family guardian. They had previously met a couple of times. Ling Fa wasn't a concerning figure, in fact Hóu believed he was incapable of fighting due to his pacifistic tendencies. 

Throughout the journey, Biming and Hóu held up a small lighthearted conversation, a conversation that seemed to have only lasted a couple of minutes was in fact just two hours. 

Soon the duo were at town close to noon, Hóu couldn't believe how lively everything was! Carts and vendors and buyers were everywhere! If he was being honest, Hóu's entire world seemed to start spinning due to the overload of his senses. 

"Welcome to the market, Hóu!" Biming said with a bright smile as he handed Hóu some earplugs. "They might not completely drown out all the new senses but its something at least… if you ever need a breath at all, then tell me and we can go to a more tame part of the town were we can rest for a bit"

Hóu's reply came in the form of a nod. However, even though his senses are over exerting himself, Hóu knew that he had to allow Biming to sell their crops so they could earn the money needed. So, the black monkey decided to sit right behind the cart after putting on the earplugs, mostly hidden from the front view as she observed how Biming bargained and sold his crops. 

Eventually, daylight started diminishing as the sun was starting to head down the horizon, turning the shy a nice shade that reminded the monkey of orange peaches… something about the sunset seems to have upset the demon and he felt a pang of pain in his chest. 

Upon noticing the sadness embedded on the monkey’s face, Biming decided that it was time to head home. "Hóu, let's go home." Came the familiar voice of the young man that got Hóu moving onto the back of the cart, and once again head off back home. "We should be back home just after sunset" Said Biming in an attempt to comfort his companion, which seemed to have worked somewhat. 

The ride back didn't have many complications, it was a smooth ride back with a few conversations every now and again. Once home, Biming and Hóu carried their goods into the home as they announced their return, only to be greeted by the smell of Ai's amazing cooking as they sat down by the table to eat. 

Biming was telling Ai how well Hóu had taken to the city and how well behaved he was. He kept on flattering the black monkey demon which got Hóu to stutter every now and again when he decided to speak up. Soon enough, it was time to head to bed after it was decided that from then on, Hóu would accompany Biming to the market. 

His days spent here in the small farm house by the valley with Ai and Biming went by faster than he expected. And soon, they would have a new addition to their family in the form of a child between the couple. 

The couple at first didn't know how Hóu would react to children, as throughout Ai's pregnancy, he had done his best to avoid her as much as possible without angering her. He however instead spent his time with Biming learning how to trade and sell as well as bargain and buy goods. 

When their daughter was born, the couple found something they never had expected to see. That night they had awoken to the sound of soft cries coming from the adjacent room that Hóu had offered the baby to stay in with him so he could make sure that their daughter was safe from all harm. Surprisingly, Hóu had also swore it as his duty out of the blue one night before she was even born. 

What surprised them however, was what they saw in the room that night. They had found Hóu gently cradling their small daughter in his arms. Biming most of all was surprised at how Hóu could be so delicate with such a small fragile being and yet possess strength strong enough to carry the entire cart filled with supplies. 

Hóu looked over at the couple with worry laced all very his face. "S-sorry… she won't stop crying… she must be hungry!" It surprised Ai how well he knew how to manage a baby and how he could tell what was wrong. She stood there for a moment as she smiled at the panicked monkey before taking her daughter to feed her in the other room, leaving Biming and Hóu together in the room. 

Biming sat down next to Hóu on the bed who seemed a bit anxious. "Is something the matter Hóu?" Came the concerned question from Biming. 

Hóu's tail flicked anxiously like an irritated cat, he lowered his head and talked in barely a whisper "she's just so small Biming… will she really survive?" 

With a comforting hand on Hóu's shoulder, a smile found its way onto Biming's face "with you worrying about her like this… I know she'll be perfectly fine Hóu…" and with that, Ai came back in, carrying their sleeping daughter in her arms. 

Without a second to lose, Hóu was up on his feet to give the bed to the sleeping baby. But instead, Ai gave him the small bundle of joy with a smile. Something within him clicked that night, and for the first time he remembered something from his past. 

A conversation? 

"Hey, [~~~] why so stiff?" 

"Because! They're so small! So defenseless! How can they survive?!" A chuckle rang out throughout what seemed like a cave as the sound echoed. 

"They're children! Of course, they're small! But hey! They seem to like you!" 

"I… I guess they do…" 

"You know… if you're really worried about them so much why not take care of them?" 

"Don't you already do that?" 

"Well, technically, yes? But what I meant was you could watch over the little ones and make sure they're safe?" 

"... alright, I'll do it!" 

Hóu held the small child close to his chest, a stifled sob escaped him as a few tears flowed down his face and onto the blankets that wrapped around the baby. This concerned the couple as they barely see Hóu cry, in fact. This is only the second time they've seen him cry ever since finding him that fateful day. 

Just before they could react, Hóu faced them. Face stained with tears but his eyes held a strong determination. "No matter what, I'll make sure she becomes big and strong. I swear on my life" 

With his sudden declaration, the couple found a sense of peace and comfort. Ever since then, Hóu had appointed himself their daughter's caretaker and would help Ai and Biming with their daughter in whatever way he could. There had been countless times when Ai or Biming would search for their daughter only to find her asleep on Hóu who had her safely asleep on or under his favorite tree in their garden, sometimes asleep himself. 

Such were the peaceful times, the days he wouldn't have to worry about much except for their family's safety. Nothing could happen to them, he used to think. Not until the incident. 

Golden eyes fluttered open as he heard a faint sound of someone calling out to him. "I'm heading off to work dad!! Text you later!!" Followed by a door slamming shut and a soft ringing of a bell. 

With a sigh, the black monkey sat up and combed through his messy black hair before getting up and heading to the bathroom to freshen up. Mi Hóu looked at the mirror and examined himself only to be taken back to see a human face before remembering that his life with Ai, Biming, and their daughter Chu-Hua had ended a couple of hundred years ago. 

He had remembered everything since that time, and his true name is Liu er Mihóu otherwise known as the Six Eared Macaque. And he remembered that at this current time, he has a son. A son that he had to look out for in a world of hidden demons. But here's the catch, he can't let his son know that he himself is a demon even though he already knows about demons. Which is why he uses a human disguise. 

"Another regular day of work I guess…" he mumbled as he heard the ringing of the bell hung at the door indicating that someone had entered their home, or to be more specific, his clinic. Little did he know that this day would be the end of his daily routine of curing demons and teaching at a dojo. 

[yourwildsimp]

Journal

This did not at all go where I thought it would, but it’s here. This is my first X Reader I’ve done so if you have some input, it would be greatly appreciated-

includes: Levi, Y/N

warnings: Mentions of dark thoughts

length: 2,535 words

"Cadet!" 

You were quick to glance over your shoulder, wondering how you've messed up this time. You were just about to leave the mess hall, so you were probably going to be scolded for being the last one out, or for not eating again. Levi always snapped about how he needs you at your best.

"You forgot this," the captain said, his stoney blue eyes narrowing as yours widened, "Or did you leave it on purpose?"

It was your journal, the one you were always buried in whenever you could be. You did leave it on purpose, hoping someone would find it and save you from yourself. Hoping that someone would notice all of the changes in your behavior, hoping someone would hear your silent screams. Yet, seeing that it was Levi fucking Ackerman who returned the journal? You wished you had kept suffering alone.

"And it has so many…" Levi hesitated, almost like he was trying to find the right words to string together. "So many horrific thoughts written inside of it."

You could practically feel how serious he was while he gripped your prized possession just a bit tighter. You couldn't handle the growing silence, so you broke it.

"I should know. It's mine, after all." He didn't find your joke very funny. 

Levi opened his mouth, picking his next words carefully, "What's going on with you? You haven't been yourself recently."

You mentally swore, fingers twitching at your side. Levi didn't fail to notice, making his abnormal concern grow.

"What do you mean, Captain? I'm perfectly fine." As much as you wished the forced chuckle in your voice would change his way of thinking, it didn't.

"I'm more than certain something is happening with you," his voice grew more pointed as he stared at you, "There's no point in trying to hide it. Just spit it out."

"Why would you even bother asking?" Your muttered question left your lips before you could stop it.

"I want to know because I care about you. That's something a lot of people can't say, so don't go off wasting my support," Levi's tone didn't change and you sucked in a much needed breath. 

You wearily watched him place the journal on one of the long tables in the room, the soft thud reminding you of how many hours have gone into fruitless attempts of venting out your pain.

"Stop being stubborn and tell me what's going on, cadet." He inched closer, and you stepped back in response, eyes darting to the table.

"Once again, Jean and Eren left their spots disgusting. Do you want me to clean up, or would you rather chew them out yourself?" You gave a tight smile, forcing yourself to look back at him.

"Don't change the subject," he growled, a strange blaze flaring up in his eyes. Levi noticed how you tensed and he sighed to calm himself. "The things that you wrote in that book," he started, never once looking away from you, "Those were some seriously dark thoughts, and if you honestly do feel that way, you need to talk about it. So, stop trying to be the coldhearted badass and let me know what's running through your mind."

He sounded like a parent trying to convince a child to admit they broke something. It was a bit frightening in all honesty. 

You didn't say anything, teeth digging painfully into your tongue so you would keep quiet. You had just now noticed you'd been staring at the wooden floorboards this whole time, and yet you didn't stop.

Levi noticed that you weren't going to contribute, so he did it himself.

"What are you afraid of? Do you think I'm going to be mad at you?" 

You could've kicked yourself when your panicked chuckle wormed its way into the one-sided conversation. 

"Look at me," he demanded. You didn't listen, a thick gulp being your only reaction. "Cadet, look at me." This time it came out as a snarl, and you obeyed out of pure fear. 

Levi shut his eyes for just a moment, a heavy sigh leaving him as he tried to compose himself again. You both knew that he wasn't great with feelings, but he was trying. 

"I'm not mad at you. You can tell me whatever you're going through and I'll listen. Don't ever be afraid to let someone know how you feel, that is the only way someone can understand you." You had to clench your jaw to keep a snarky remark from making the situation worse. "Stop hiding from people, stop holding on to these emotions, and thinking that by some miracle things are going to work out by keeping silent. Things don't ever work out that way, and it only prolongs the pain. It only gives time for shit to get worse. So, stop being an idiot and just tell me what's going on already." 

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," you muttered after letting his words sink in. 

You didn't get a response, so you let your gaze lower, but not drop completely. Levi waited for you. The Levi Ackerman patiently waited for you to let go of some agony. So you did.

"Sometimes," it was difficult for you to refill your lungs with fresh air, "I get these recurring dreams that make me think about the things I'd kill to forget." A fly could be heard over your quiet voice, but you had spoken, and Levi found it a big step forward.

"I see," he spoke more to himself than anything. "So that's why…" 

His words trailed off as he remembered walking past the cadet sleeping quarters in the ungodly hours of the morning and often hearing whimpers of fear and sleepy pleads for directions on what to do. His eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"You've been having those, too, haven't you?" He paused, knowing damn well that the night terrors weren't anything but a small piece to the puzzle. But it was progress. "It's not uncommon. Everyone gets those nightmares."

You resisted the urge to insist that's the reason why your problems weren't such a big deal.

"Having thoughts about the people that you've lost, the people that you'd cared about," Levi tightened his jaw, taking a deep breath through his nose and not saying anything for a heartbeat. He changed his wording, "You're allowed to feel. You're allowed to grieve and to be angry, to be hurt." It was like he was reading from the list of your emotional insecurities.

It was starting to get painfully tense, so you attempted to redirect the topic of choice.

"That's funny, considering who's speaking. You only seem slightly agitated whenever you hear about the trouble Eren is constantly causing. I'm surprised you don't have grey's, old man," you laughed in spite of yourself, the noise tense and borderline frantic.

"Writing these thoughts in this book," of course he wouldn't budge. The man's like a stone wall, despite his height. "It's probably your way of coping with what’s happened to you." 

You swallowed, glancing away before sucking on your tongue to distract yourself.

"But, you have to be able to talk to someone as well, to be able to hear your problems leave you." Levi didn't say anything after that, quietly observing how you tilted your head up to stop your brimming tears from falling.

He surprised you by taking a seat on the table's bench, a good four or five feet from your journal. "Come here," he said gently, patting his legs, "You look like you need to be held. If you feel comfortable, that is." 

"On your lap?" You asked, chest tightening. You knew all it was going to take was one hug- just one god damned hug- and you'd crumble.

"Yes, on my lap. Come on," Levi couldn't care less about your height or weight, none of it bothering him in the slightest. 

You hesitated, the exit door seeming all too tempting. You didn't leave, though, and it wasn't because Levi would catch you if you were to run, nor that he would only confront you more forcefully in the future. You knew you needed this- that's the whole reason you had left your secrets behind. But, fuck, it was so hard to make yourself sit on his lap.

"There we go." His encouragement nearly ripped you to shreds.

"What are you? Santa Claus?" You mused, eyes burning holes into your lap with how determined you were to look anywhere but. 

"Go on, let it out," Levi pushed you to speak again, this time far more effective.

"Let what out exactly? My Christmas list?" Your voice cracked, heart painfully throbbing.

"Come on, cadet," Levi breathed again, sickeningly gentle eyes looking at you.

"I wish for a cup of hot chocolate with cookies on the side," you forced a twisted smile on your face as burning hot tears started to slip down your cheek. "Maybe at least one good night's rest. O-Or a chance to go back in time." 

You were breaking down, caving in on yourself as you choked on a sob.

"I've got you."

But you weren't alone. The captain was rubbing comforting shapes into your back.

You shook violently, tremors growing worse before you gave in completely. Harsh sobs thrashed your body as you buried your face into Levi's chest, letting every bit of your pain out.

"It's alright," Levi's voice warded off the ringing in your ears. "It's going to be okay. Do you hear me? You're going to be okay."

Promises of betterment and words of comfort soothed you as you soaked his uniform with tears. Tears that you've held in for far too long, tears that represented your suffering.

"You did all you could. Stop blaming yourself for whatever happened or you'll never be able to move forward. If all you keep doing is holding onto the past, you'll stay stuck in this shitty, painful cycle," Levi told you exactly what you needed to hear as he alternated between pats and rubs on your back. 

He took a deep breath, and you heard his heart rate kick up as your crying quieted, though you didn't- couldn't- stop.

"I had two friends who died on the same damn day. People I considered my family- gone, just like that. People I'd just met, people I had just been acquainted with that morning, died later that day, too," he shared his pain, opening castrated wounds all for you. "Sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers," he listed, voice wavering before he righted himself, holding you closer. "Dead. Gone. And who was in charge? I was." You felt his chest steeply rise and fall as you sniffled. 

"There are things that you'll have to live with, situations you'll be placed in that you'll have to get through." His thumb and index finger captured your chin, forcing you to look at him. "I just want you to remember that you don't have to find a way on your own. You don't have to feel like you need to take all the burden, all the pain, by yourself." 

The hand that was on your back navigated to the Scouts emblem on your jacket, gently thumbing at it. 

"That's why you have us," there was a smile dancing in his voice, though it never quite reached his face. "We can support each other." 

Your tears had calmed down to a few rogue leftovers, and you found yourself ready to slip off of his lap. Levi didn't seem to mind the massive wet stain that bled through his white button-up and onto his peck. Didn't seem to on the outside, but you knew he was a cleaning fanatic.

"My office, my doors, are always open," his tone turned sarcastically bitter, "Unless I have paperwork to fill in, or I'm cleaning up Jaeger's damn mess." He relished the small giggle that left your lips. "If neither of the two are happening, you can always come to me."

He narrowed his eyes at you, lightly flicking your forehead.

"You hear me? Always, cadet." He gently smiled at you. "Not only are my doors open, but my arms are open, too." 

You glanced away to hide the sparkle in your eyes. Your attention returned to the captain, however, when a warm hand found itself on your shoulder.

"I know that feeling of thinking everything is your fault," he swallowed, casting his gaze down before looking back at you. "That feeling of being disappointed in yourself, down in the gutter, beating yourself up and wishing that it was you instead." There was a solemn look in his eyes before he spoke again, "I know that feeling, and I know how it eats you alive." 

Levi pulled you in for another hug, resting his chin on your shoulder as he shuddered in another breath. 

"I also know the feeling of being comforted. Of being reminded that there is a tomorrow, and that things can get better." He gave you a small squeeze before pulling away, both hands on your shoulders now. "That if you make it past today, you can make it past tomorrow, too." 

He allowed you to sit back, and the words he spoke were more than welcomed.

"After everything that you've been through, there is no storm that comes your way that you're not strong enough to face," the proud gleam in his eyes spoke volumes. "And, if you feel like you can't handle it alone, you can face it with me by your side. I'll always be here to brace the storm with you."

Nothing could prepare you for what he said next.

"That is a promise, cadet."

Levi never made promises- not like this. The only thing he's ever promised was to dropkick Eren if he ever went so long without showering again.

"Now breathe," his voice reverted back to that gentle, but commanding tone. He took a deep breath with you, in and out before staring you dead in the eyes. "Everything is going to be okay. It might not be perfect, but we will make it through this. Every battle has an end. Don't go giving up until you find your ending." You felt the grip on your shoulder tighten, his Adam's apple bobbing as he continued, "Please... Hold on for me." 

That left you picking your jaw off the floor before Levi mentioned it, not able to do anything but nod. You, a cadet, had gotten him to say please.

"There is so much to live for in this life," he noticed your doubt before you even said a word. "Let's start living for the people who don't get to, who don't have a choice."

A comforting silence settled into the atmosphere. Levi smiled before standing, mentally double-checking if you were okay. "Oh, and one more thing?" You perked up when he spoke.

"I'll break your fucking legs if you talk about me being soft, cadet."

Ah. There was the Levi you knew.

"Wouldn't dream of it, captain," you said gently, proudly saluting him as he walked towards the back exit.

You would never know, but an extremely proud smile graced his features as he watched you hesitate before throwing the journal away.

[mojwisungie]

hc | boyfriend ♡

req (from: anon) ➥ : read the mark-jaemin boyfriend, and then then renjun-jisung boyfriend headcanons,,, can you do one for the remaining members? thank you~~

☄︎ with: lee jeno, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle ☄︎ lou.note: this has been in my wips for so long im sorry anonie but here i am to give it you guys as an offering for my birthday (its tomorrow on the 26th but anyway) hehe hope you all enjoy <3

ੈ⋆ mark & jaemin ver. | renjun & jisung ver.

Jeno

the observing, supportive boyfriend

jeno doesnt pay much attention to things that arent important

but YOU are important

you mean so much to him, and thats still an understatement

he often thinks that by paying attention to you and everything you do

he'll know you in a way no one else does

at this point, he knows everything about you

your favorite sweater (which he owns), favorite color, favorite artists, favorite songs, etc.

jeno actually knows your order by heart even if it varies in different restaurants

his mantra is actually happy y/n = happy jeno ^_^

thats also the reason why fights dont usually happen

he knows when its too much for you and so he will do what he thinks is best for the situation

anyways: dates with jeno are either doing physical activities or plain cuddling on the couch

it would mostly be him who initiates dates like hiking, biking, etc.

but, he would also always check with you if youre okay with it or if you want to rest 

one time you asked him for a day in those sport grounds ?? like those places that has random games like wall-climbing, archery, and trampolines

oh this boy has the biggest smile on his face asking you, “hold on love, are you serious ( ◕▿◕ ) ?”

during hectic weeks, he’s definitely up for movie marathons

if he still has some energy, he will make a blanket fort for the both of you

also jeno lee is a cuddle bug (you cannot change my mind, this case is closed)

and so he’ll use these lazy dates to indulge in hugging you for as long as he can 

on the supportive note, he always reassures you with the kindest words

AND hes the type of guy who will ask you if you need comfort or solutions when you rant to him T﹏T

and that is actually proof that he is the best support system

he'd be your hype man when you need a push

thinking of auditioning for a club? go ahead, he'll teach you what he knows

want to try a new hobby and start journaling? he'll help you find cute stickers (and he'll buy them too)

he will always help in whatever way he can, and he will constantly assure you that he’s there for you as you have been for him

he is reserved, quiet, and keep things on the down low, yet with you, he’s entirely different

jeno loves you just as you love him, and he’ll do everything to prove it to the world- you.

Haechan

the enthusiastic, soft boyfriend

he is!! literally!! the sun!!

he often calls you often in the morning to wake you up, greeting you with the loveliest voice saying, “good morning darling, how was your sleep?” SADKJASD

if he’s free, he’ll actually drop by yours to bring breakfast and eat with you

and if ever you still live with your family, you bet that once you slip into the kitchen he’s chatting up with your parents like he’s their son

actually... he technically is

he loves going out with you and your family as much as he loves going out with his

hyuck is very family-oriented, you really dont have to plead to him if you want him to come to a gathering

as long as you say yes to him inviting you to their family activities too 😌

he once asked you to go with him to this intimate family dinner his relatives organized

and you ask him, “are you sure im allowed to go? the invitation in the email complete says Lee Family and clearly.. im not-”

this man didnt even let you finish and says, “BUT YOU WILL BE!! SOON!! I WILL MARRY YOU!! baby come on just please come with me!!!”

he means it though

you dont know it, but the thought of spending the rest of his life with you often comes into his mind

and so dates with him can be both ends of the spectrum

you guys could go for fancy restaurants, amusement parks, and even late night computer games (if you dont play, he’ll teach you dont worry <3)

but there are also domestic dates such as grocery shopping, helping each other babysit nephews/nieces, and the such

its obvious to every one that haechan is so soft for you

and he doesnt care what other people say

one time, mark heard him talk to you in the cutest, softest voice and laughed... and regretted it bc haechan turned to him in the most serious face and the deepest tone saying, “and so?” 

as much as possible, he wants you to feel loved bc thats what you make him feel

despite this, arguments are still there, but it doesnt go on for long

fights dont escalate as you both work together against the problem

so at the end of the day, no feelings are hurt or turned a blind eye to

disagreements are often rooted from the nature of work though, thats why every time things arent so fine, he’ll do his best to fix it

because he treasures his time with you and the love you both invest in

he didnt value time that much before, bc he’s so used to putting up with whatever that comes his way

but when you came into his life, he realized it is indeed precious

haechan spends every second loving you beyond infinity

Chenle

the parental, sincere, affectionate boyfriend

you’ve seen him rant, right?

he’ll do that often, but only when its about you not getting what you need

others may not see it, but he’s really concerned when its about you so he’ll do anything to make sure youre well taken care of

if you havent eaten yet bc youre too busy going over your notes for your exams, he’ll buy you your favorite food and feed it to you

all the while talking about how you shouldnt put aside eating bc its important to eat meals at the right time

this guy solves old math problems when he has time to spare, so he’ll be okay with you coming to for help whenever you struggle with your lessons

as cliché as it may be, he will also get you the stuff you need- whether it may be for school or for your personal shenanigans 

you complained about your laptop once, saying it keeps on lagging

he deadass goes, “do you wanna go and buy a new one now?” 💀

he just wants you to do well in the stuff you do, okay ??

chenle is blunt about pretty much everything in your relationship too

he tells you all the stuff he knows he should tell you

including embarrassing moments of his members

the dreamies cant joke around with you too much,, bc they know you know everything (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

but jokes aside, sometimes his honesty can be cause of some arguments

bc he gets too straight-forward at times and ends up unintentionally hurting you :((

and when you explain why it made you feel that way, he’s lost bc he thinks he was just saying the truth

but as time passes, he will learn how to be upfront with you without having to sadden you

please be patient with him as he is with you 👉🏼👈🏼

anyhow, dates with him would always be one for the books

if you ever think that he probably doesnt remember the dates you wanna go on to, youre wrong

bc its all listed in his mind and he’s determined to tick every single one from the list

when he’s busy or away on tour, facetimes would be a regular thing

he’s prepared with the timezones and he will remind you to sleep when you should, no buts y/n

if you tell him you cant just drift off, he’ll always offer to sing you to sleep

and when you do, he’ll take lots of pictures to treasure the little moments he has with you

some people tell him he looks too deeply in love

but he doesnt really see anything wrong with it because it was with you

chenle completely knows that he loves you so much, and he’s willing to love you until forever

[buckyownsmylife]

when i’m moving on - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where despite your engagement to King Steve, your bond with his brother is too strong to be ignored.

Warnings:  Smut, dirty talk, royal au, kind of cheating, it depends on what’s your view on arranged medieval weddings, oral (f), masturbation (f), overstimulation, crying during sex, pleasing kink, cum eating, teasing, this one isn’t focused on the social construct of virginity, unprotected sex, reader isn’t as innocent in this one, cumplay?, slight daddy kink, p in v, multiple orgasms, Bucky can cum A LOT, swear words, kinda breeding kink?, Pregnancy talk at least, conversation about partner’s lovers

A/N: This is sort of a part 2 to this fic, an AU of an AU, if you will. In this one, you lose your virginity to Bucky the night before of your wedding, meaning, the night before of the first fic.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

       “If you were the one that was getting married to me… What would you do, then?” Those words traveled across my mind and body, raising goosebumps as my eyes burned the flesh of the woman before me.        “Careful, Your Majesty,” I warned her, knowing that the reminder of her future title could very well wake her up from this daydream we were currently about to fall into. “These are dangerous waters you’re about to dip in. You need to be 100% sure of what you’re asking me, because whenever I’m around you… I hang on by a very loose thread.” I watched as she shivered, her breaths coming out in labored puffs now, much like my own. I could feel my chest heaving, almost as if I had battled a whole battalion to be standing in front of the woman I loved.        “Show me, Bucky,” she whispered just as she approached me, her head dipped up to look me in the eye. “I want to drown in you.” I had always found amusement in just how short she was in comparison to me, but right now, I felt no desire to laugh. Before I could even second chance myself, I leaned down, capturing her lips with mine. An explosion of sweetness invaded my senses, her scent everywhere, engulfing me. My hands quickly found a place between her locks, pulling her even closer to me, not minding that by the proximity she would realize just how much I desired her. When her mouth opened, accepting my own’s intrusion, she moaned at the invasion and I knew then and there that I couldn’t let her go, even if she wanted me to. It was that thought that startled me, making me abruptly separate our faces just so I could try to talk some sense into either of us.       “Tell me I should stop. Please. Tell me you don’t want this.” I begged, not sure if what I wanted was for her to do as I said or to ignore me completely. Her eyes looked even bigger than usual, her pupils blown wide as she stared up at me, wet bruised lips reminding me of the assault that I had just overtaken against them.       “Please… don’t stop.” No more words were needed. I could see then and there that she wanted this, that, somehow, she wanted me just as much as I did. Only a fool wouldn’t make the best out of the opportunity to have this goddess in their arms, to feel her breath against their skin, to touch her and burn from her warmth. And I admit I had many flaws, but I had never been a fool. Slowly, I laid her down on her bed, fully conscious she was the most precious thing that I had ever held. Her arms came up to hug me then, pushing me down against her. My cock felt painful against my thigh, and I couldn’t help but press it against her, taking advantage of the space she had granted me between her legs.       She broke our kiss with a gasp followed by a moan and if I wasn’t already hard, that would have done it. A growl escaped my chest as I took up the opportunity to kiss from her lips to her jaw, making my way to her neck, loving how her sweet smell was even more present just behind her ear. “I’m going to have you screaming by the end of the night” I warned her quietly, eliciting a whimper from her luscious lips. It was so easy to forget that this woman was more than ten years younger than me, especially since she carried herself with such dignity, but now that I had her here, trapped under my body, I couldn’t help but notice how tiny and delicate she actually was. Something primal, instinctual rose from deep within me, making its way to my chest until it had wrapped itself around my heart and taken control over me. “I’m gonna taste you all over,” were my last words before I had wrapped my hands on the fabric of her dress and torn it to shreds.       The skin that became visible to me almost made me lose whatever was left of my control. She was all silk and honey, so soft to the touch and so warm it almost made me cry out in ecstasy. I could barely believe that it was real, that this was happening, and I gave her one last deep kiss before starting my exploration of her body with my lips. I sucked a hickey on her throat, determined to leave a mark that would force her to remember this, to remember me if she ever decided to ignore that we had ever lost ourselves to temptation. But this new, possessive part of me was not sated by the mark left behind. And so I made another one, right between her collarbones. And another one, just over her right breast. And then my mouth was on her nipple and I was sucking, hard enough to make her gasp again, pulling at my locks but chasing me away with her chest, letting me know that she liked this ritual I was dedicating towards her skin, her body.       I kissed my way between both breasts, making sure to leave another mark behind, before dedicating the same attention to her left nipple. My eyes locked with hers momentaneously, before she threw her head back in a moan provoked by my tugging and pulling. I returned to the other nipple, now completely pebbled from my previous attention, dedicating it once more, making sure to leave bite marks all over the precious skin, repeating the same pattern with the second one until she whimpered underneath me. “Please…” She pleaded, all logical thought escaping in her current state of desire.       “Tell me what you want, My Majesty,” I ironically ordered, completely conscious that I would never be able to deny any of her wishes.       “I want you… I need you… Please, Bucky,” she begged, and damn if it wasn’t the sexiest thing I had ever heard.       “Your wish is my command, my queen,” I complied, kissing my way down her body until my lips found her excuse of an undergarment. The material was already completely glued to the lines of her pussy, which glistened even from under the lace tissue. “Ah, you’re already soaked,” I teased, carefully peeling away her panties before spreading her legs to my sight once more.       “I always am whenever I’m around you,” she whispered and I froze. Catching her eyes once more, I acknowledged the pure lust in the brown hues I had grown to love so much, finally admitting that it was possible that she had dreamt about this just as much as I had.       “You fucking little tease,” I growled, diving in to eat her out like the starved man I was for her. “You taste like fucking candy, did you know?” I moaned against her clit, indulging myself in that incredible cum I had only dreamt of lapping.       It didn’t take much longer for her thighs to begin quivering, signaling her approach to her orgasm. I locked eyes with her once more as I tongue-fucked her furiously, making sure my nose bumped on her engorged clit, and I allowed myself to enjoy the show as she reached her high, never stopping my actions. As her breathing calmed down, she looked at me once more and I could only give her a knowing smile, sucking her clit to my mouth again. “The things I want to do to you, darling girl…” I pondered, still cleaning her up with my lips, swallowing her cum down my throat. “I hope you are prepared, because what I have planned for you… What I have dreamt of doing for all this time… It’s going to take all night.”       I put one finger inside of her then, only teasing her hole, knowing I was getting her frustrated. Still, it didn’t take long for her to reach that high again, coming against my face as I once more drank all she had to offer. “I hope you’re not tired yet, my darling…” I warned her, filling her up with another finger. She whimpered, certainly sensitive from her previous orgasms, but I paid no attention. There was no way I would stop before she was completely and utterly destroyed for any other man who would possibly desire her, especially my brother.       With two fingers and my tongue forever drawing patterns against her clit, I made her come again. She was panting now, her body covered in a tight layer of sweat I would gladly lick from her if I wasn’t already on the edge of my own limit. Quickly, I pushed one last finger into her, trying to ease her into the thickness as best as her unused pussy allowed. “C’mon, baby. Give me one more.” She sobbed at the feelings coursing through her body as I neared her to another orgasm. “One more. Just this one and you can have my cock.”       She bit her lip, trying to focus her attention on me once more. “C’mon, baby girl. I know you can do this. Don’t you want to be a good girl for me? Be a good girl and come over my fingers, darling.” She finally let go with a scream I was certain would alert the guards to our less than pure actions inside the bedroom. I moaned, appreciating her taste on my lips once more as she spasmed around me from aftershocks of yet another orgasm. Still dripping from her wetness, I detached myself from her and slowly took off my shirt, carefully watching my queen as she slowly relaxed against the mattress. Before long, she grew restless again, moving around to find me staring back at her, my fist slowly pumping my fully grown cock.       Her tiny tongue came out to wet her lips then and I watched with my head tilted as she focused on my slow movements. “Do you want this?” I asked, hand still tightly wrapped around my member. She nodded, but I only chuckled. “That’s not enough, Y/N. Do you want this?” I repeated, more forcefully tugging myself, now.       “Yes. Please.” She breathed out and, like an hungered animal, I crawled into the bed and forced myself between her legs. “Good girl,” I whispered between her lips before I dove into her open mouth, feeling like I could swallow her whole. My cock, which was resting just over her belly, slowly traveled down until it found its resting place, and, pushing in, I groaned as I was met with the warmest, tightest, sweetest torture I could ever have found. “Fuck,” I cursed, trying to get a grip and not fully blow my load so soon. Soft fingers caressed my cheek and I opened my eyes, surprised, finding sweet bright ones staring back at me with adoration.       “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered, our eyes connected, a cute, almost shy smile on her beautiful lips. I wetted my lips, not capable of formulating some sort of answer, just transfixed by the perfection of the woman under me. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” she admitted and I faltered and my heart skipped a beat. Still unable to formulate any sort of response, I simply leaned down and captured her lips with mine, parting them in a slow dance that was the only way I had of transmitting what my heart and mind couldn’t yet grasp in the heaviness of the moment.       Slowly, testingly, I moved so that I had almost pulled out of her, still unable to disconnect our lips, quickly pushing all the way inside of her again, bottoming out. She broke our kiss to gasp, an attempt to catch her breath I quickly obstructed, as I sped up my thrusts to forcefully plow her against the bed. She screamed again, almost deafening me as I tried to leave even more marks in the crook of her neck and I reluctantly pulled away from her skin to look down at her fucked face with heavy eyelids.       “Does that feel good, baby girl? Huh? Do you like it when I do this? Do you like it when I fuck you against your mattress?” She nodded, incapable of speaking as her mouth hang open and her eyes were closed, her body fully slack against the bed as I used her as a sex doll. “I have never fucked a better pussy in my entire life, doll,” I admitted, punctuating each word with a forceful thrust. “Say my name, Y/N,” I begged, forcing her to look at me by her jaw. “Say my fucking name, doll.”       Our eyes connected, she came again, screaming my name as her pulsing tunnel milked me inside of her. I had never come so hard in my entire life. Spent, I allowed my body to relax on top of hers as I tried to catch my breath, my cock still inside her. Slowly, I gathered my energy just enough to notice that she was caressing my back, holding me against her. “I’m too comfortable to move,” I warned her, to which she giggled.       “You can stay here,” she hugged me before abandoning my skin to play with my hair instead.       “That fucking bastard,” I groaned, almost laughing at the pure hate I felt coursing through my veins.       “Who?” She asked, abruptly interrupting her movements.       “Steve,” I spoke, noticing how she deflated for a bit before resuming her caresses on my scalp. “I can’t believe he has the privilege of being able to marry you,” I explained, depositing kisses across her shoulder.       “I have no recollection of a Steve in my memory,” she pondered after a few minutes of silence. “Maybe you’ve fucked him out of my conscience?” I laughed, lightly biting her in a warning. “But seriously, James…” She pulled me to look at her in the eyes. “In all that counts, I’m yours. I’ve been yours since I got out of that carriage and you said hello to me. Politics aside, you’re the one I would like to marry. In my heart, I belong to you.”       Warmth and happiness filled my body as I took in her words, searching her eyes for any sign of confusion and finding none. I took her lips with mine once again, kissing her with all that I had. Eventually, I became aware of the quenching sounds coming from our still joined parts. I separated myself from her just enough to observe as my cock slowly left her wet pussy, enthralled by the mixture of our cums pouring out of her. Hypnotized, I pushed the white liquid inside of her once more, paying no attention to her whimper at the sudden intrusion of my fingers, despite the fact that she tried to close her thighs to stop me from taking further advantage of her.       “Stop,” I slapped the outside of her thigh, trying to catch a glimpse of my lost heaven once more. “Open your legs again,” I ordered, but when she didn’t obey, I looked up to find her chewing on her bottom lip, looking at me with a pensive look on her face. “I am warning you, little girl,” I threatened, towering over her. “You may become a queen tomorrow, but tonight I am still your prince and you owe me some respect.” Her eyes glinting with a mischievous smile, she let her legs separate just enough for me to force them open, slapping the inside of her thigh this time. “Keep your legs open or you will be punished, baby girl,” I warned her, already climbing down to observe the mess we had made closer.       “Yes, daddy,” came her answer and I stopped my movements abruptly to see that she was still giving me the same look, paired with a teasing smile that made me groan as I resumed my path.       “You are going to be the death of me,” I mumbled underneath my breath, to which she laughed. Looking at her abused cunt, I scooped up some of the cum and pushed it inside of her once more, appreciating the filthy sound that it created. It made up my mind, suddenly throwing myself by her side and pulling her up to her knees. “Come here,” I called, but she didn’t move, eyeing me warily. “Come here,” I reiterated, “I need a taste, please.”       She finally did as I said, slowly crawling up my body until her pussy was just over my waiting lips. So much wetness had gathered already that it dripped onto her thighs and onto my open mouth and I moaned at the taste. “We taste so good together,” I licked my lips before opening my mouth again and pulling her to me, making her gasp in surprise. I fucked her with my tongue, controlling her movement by the cheeks of her ass, during what felt like hours of pure bliss. I didn’t want to stop to gather my breath. I would drown on her essence if I could.       “Fuck, James!” She moaned, her fingers pulling on my hair as if it was a handle. I liked the slight ardor that came with it, and so I ate her out more energetically. “J-James, I don’t think I can…”       I groaned, pulling her to me even more, relishing in the sopping sounds of her pussy as I ate her out. “Don’t even. Come on, my queen. I just want to keep your taste on my lips. You don’t even need to come, just sit on my face and let me eat you out.”       “O-ok,” she whispered, finally relaxing on top of me. I let one of my hands caress the extent of her body until I could hold one of her breasts, smiling as her eyes caught mine as I stared at her from my position between her legs.       “Good girl,” I encouraged her, appreciating the cute sheepish look on her face at my praise. I still couldn’t believe I was able to cause such a reaction from her just from my words. “If you could only look at yourself now…” I mused, a moan escaped her lips after I sucked on her clit.       “You said you wouldn’t make me cum again…” She pulled on my hair, but I could see by the way she threw her head back that she was enjoying herself, despite the sensitivity.       “I never said that. I said you don’t have to come. I never said I wouldn’t keep on trying.” I pulled away from her to laugh at her whine but resumed my lazy stokes on her pussy with my tongue as she looked at me with hazy eyes. The eye connection made our actions that much more intimate, and I had to chuckle as I felt Y/N’s thighs quivering again. “You’re gonna come, aren’t you?” I teased, but any humor from the situation escaped me as she nodded, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth before throwing her head back, gasping as she moved to fuck my mouth. “Fuck this shit,” I growled, pushing her away to lay her down on the bed again before manhandling her to turn her around, slightly raising her hips before forcing her legs open with my knees.       “How are you still horny?” She mused after her scream of surprise echoed around the room.       “Have you seen yourself naked?” That was all I could say before I pushed into her again, carefully. I knew that she was sensitive, I could see how red and puffy her poor abused cunt was, but I simply could not hold myself back. After making sure that she was adjusted to my cock, I started pounding her like the dirty little whore I now knew she was. “Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me you don’t like this.”       “I-I can’t!” Was her sole response.       “Then shut up and fucking take it, sweetheart.” Her hands scrambled to take a hold of her silk sheets and I growled at the sight of the love of my life underneath me, trembling with the desire that I had granted her. I leaned down to kiss her back, making sure to leave indentations that would surely bruise for days to come, even if she wouldn’t be able to see them. It didn’t take much for her to cum again, squeezing my dick and forcing my own orgasm into her once more.       “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” I cursed as I thrusted into her a few more times, making sure all of my white cream was being pushed further inside of her. But I couldn’t resist much longer, and after a few seconds my arms gave out from under me, dropping me on top of her. She giggled, trying to push me away so she could look me in the eyes again.       “Can you imagine if you got pregnant with my child?” The idea had been dancing around in my brain since I first felt her snugly around me, but I don’t know what prompted me to interrupt the silence that had fallen between us in the aftermaths of our desire. Her beautiful eyes - that I had been carefully watching me during that silence - grew big at the implications of what I was pondering, but she didn’t seem scared. “Do you think that would make them allow us to be together?” Her expression softened at the last question. She raised a hand to caress my cheek that I absentmindedly kissed, expecting her to find a way to let me down easily. However, to my surprise, that wasn't what happened.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

       “You know they’d find a way to pin the child down to Steve.” I watched as he closed his eyes, trying to hide the defeat in them. He already knew what I would say, he just didn’t want it to be true. But there was something that I could say to make him feel better, and that he hadn��t anticipated. “Besides, I don’t need a kid to attach me to you.” He didn’t understand what I meant, but it intrigued him. He sat up on the bed, and I mirrored his position.        “You’re already mine and I’m already yours. You’re my person. I won’t let them take you away from me.” I ran my fingers through his hair and he leaned into my touch.        “You mean…” I cut him off with a nod.        “If Steve can have his, why can’t I have mine? Everyone knows he’ll continue to sleep around. I don’t care how many lovers he maintains, I only want one. You.” His face fell onto mine as soon as I finished that declaration, and he kissed me with a passion I once believed could only exist in books.        “I love you,” he breathed out against my lips, climbing on top of me once again.        “I love you,” I reciprocated as I held him tightly against my body, grinding up against him to signal that it was okay, that I wanted him inside of me again. It didn’t matter how sensitive I was. I had a feeling that now that I had experienced how it felt to have Bucky in me, I would never be able to spend a lot of time without feeling his cock ruining my pussy. He pushed inside carefully, softly, like I was made of glass and was about to melt from under him. And as he waited for me to adjust around him once more, I sighed in relaxation, because this was everything I wanted.        Him.        He made love to me, then. Slowly and passionately. His eyes never left mine and his hands held mine down against the mattress as he thrusted in and out of me. As he brought me to the edge again in minutes, I found myself praying to the heavens that he had his wish fulfilled. The only children I wanted to bear were his.        That night, I fell asleep sweaty, sticky, and glued to the love of my life. And I’d never been happier.

[jaedreaminn]

I'll wait for you to like me

Pairings: Mark x Reader «past» Jeno x reader.

Characters: Mark, Jeno, Donghyuck (Haechan), Ten «hinted» Jisung, Chenle, Jaemin.

Theme: fluff, confusion, angst(but not really), open ending, happy, playful.

Word count: 1.6k

~~~

Mark knew he was the wallflower among his brothers. While his brothers played with people's hearts he studied. While his brothers fooled around he worked hard. While his brothers stole people's hearts to only break them he broke hearts through rejections.

He never messed around, always had good grades and his only friend was his half brother Donghyuck but not by choice, the youger just latched himself onto Mark the first time Mark spoke.

Mark liked his reputation of the heartless and cold brother. He liked being the most mysterious among his brothers. He liked keeping to himself. He liked his personal space. He looed music. He like how he was very sure of what he liked. And he knew for sure that he liked you.

But you liked Jeno....

So he kept his distance and watched from the side lines. He watched how Jeno tried to gain your trust and felt a pang in his heart when you trusted the boy. He watched how you agreed to dating Jeno and he watched how you slowly fell in love with his brother. His gut twisting in longing and jealousy.

He watched sadly the day Jeno broke your heart. And never in his life did he want to punch someone so bad, let alone the person he wanted to punch being his own brother but yet he didn't because he watched how Jeno loved you back but the moment things got a bit to real for his liking he spiralled and hurt you in the process.

He watched how Jeno would look at you so fondly and after you broke up he would secretly stare at you longingly when no one was watching. How he would constantly deny his feelings for you because his friends thought that it was uncool. How he said awful things about you to his awful friends that led him astray. He hated that he had to watch Jeno lose himself.

...

"You're the only other person here?" You had startled him one day as you leaned over his desk in the news room.

He blinked once to make sure he wasn't hallucinating before nodding, "Yes I run the school news paper"

You tilted you head to the side face scrunching cutely in confusion.

"I get the work done and quite perfectly at that so the school allows me to run it alone." Mark explained and felt lighthead when you smiled at him.

"Why are you here" he blurted out coldly before you could notice the change in his face from how much blood was travelling to it.

"Well I'm going to run the newspaper with you." You casually said. Cultural shock. That's what he went through that day.

And so before he knew it, it became a new norm to spend his afternoons with you in that small cramped up room with two desks and a printer.

And for once he wasn't just watching you, he was talking to you, laughing with you, working with you and getting into petty arguments with you which would just end with Mark being all red and flustered and you giggling away. And suddenly he knew he liked you even more. And maybe he wasn't the only one that knew that little fact. And that was a problem.

It happened on one of the monthly Sunday morning family breakfasts when Mr.Lee kept picking at Tens choice for the next step in the family business which included his lover so Ten, much to Mark's dismay changed the topic, "So Mark I heard you've been having fun at school these days?" His second eldest brother teased, wiggling his brows.

Mr. Lee's cocked an eyebrow at that piece of information but Mark simply hummed and got back to eating, enjoying his peace.

But when your brother's with Lee Donhyuck peace didn't come easy.

"Oh yes he has" the boy said and Mark looked at him confused, "He's been enjoying his time with y/n working for the school newspaper together"

Mark cursed in his head, side eyeing Jeno who seemed to freeze at your name expression cold.

"Yes it's nice to have company" Mark mumbled as the topic changed yet again to something about the trouble Haechans been causing.

...

Mark watched how Jeno distanced himself from him and how his brother who was usually sweet eye smiles and mischievous laughs was now curt nodds and cold eyes.

The one thing he knew he hated was fighting with his brothers. And even though him and Jeno weren't really fighting they weren't talking to eachother either.

His mood changed drastically, sullen at the change in attitude from his younger brother but he doubts anybody would have noticed.

That's why he was shocked when you placed a cup of boba milk tea on his desk saying "because you were sad and needed cheering up" before scrunching your nose cutely and adding "and because you're the only weirdo that doesn't like coffee"

And he looked at you in awe, mouth sliglty agape and you chuckled leaning down and closing it for him as he startled at the contact recalling behind a bit.

"So Markie boy what's got you so worried" you asked sitting yourself down on his desk as he flushed over the nickname.

"My brother" he said hesitantly and saw your face harden, he knew you knew of his relation to your ex but you guys never spoke about it.

"What happened" you still asked him, expression neutral.

"Just a little confusing times between us so there's a cold war going on" he said with a defeated sigh and your lips curved downwards.

"I've see how close you are to your brothers' and how much you care for them" you said and Mark was surprised you knew that, "Whatever it is it's going to pass. After all you guys are the infamous Lee brother's. A family of old money where the brothers dont hate eachother" you joked without knowing how true and rare that was and how much he cherished that fact. Especially since all his father wanted them to do was to get 'ambitious' and steal the buisness back from Ten.

So Mark had decided that very day to confront Jeno after school, waiting patiently at his brothers car.

"You're here to talk I'm guessing?" Jeno voice called out and Mark turned around to see him walking towards the car with a friend's Mark didn't recognise, a really tall boy with pink hair, a short one with orange hair and one Jenos height with blond hair and a blue fringe.

Jeno waved goodbye to the boys as he seperated ways from them and approached Mark.

"Who are they?" Mark couldn't help but ask.

"They're from the dance team." Jeno replied not looking at his brother at all.

"You've been avoiding me" Mark accused angry that the boy coildnt even look at him now and Jeno nodded, "You're right"

"Why" Mark asked with a frown.

"Well..."

"It's because of y/n isn't it?" Mark cut Jeno off, "If your uncomfortable with me working on the newspaper with y/n then I can-"

"Can what?" Jeno laughed catching Mark off guard, "Can quit? And then what let the newspaper die with you? I actually enjoy reading those." Jeno smiled at Mark who just stood there dumbfounded.

"Look I was being petty, I broke up with y/n ages ago. If you have feelings for y/n then go for it, I shouldn't hold you back" Jeno said with a sad smile.

"But don't you like..."

"I do. But I was dumb and now I'm too late so go shoot your shot" Jeno said with a pat on Marks back and smiled sadly as he watched his brother run off to meet you. Maybe he'll get over you if dating you makes his quite and overworking brother happy and atleast a little carefree.

"Y/N!" Mark called out as he ran towards you, starteling you.

"Go out with me" he blurted as soon as he was infront of you and your eyes widened but a frown made its way to your face soon after.

"Is this some joke?" You asked angrily and Mark seemed genuinely confused.

"Look I thought you were nice but now you're trying to pull the same stunt Jeno did?" You yelled and Mark looked taken back.

"W-what no. I would never!" he replied immediately.

"I want to believe that's true but it probably isn't" you said as your eyes slowly started to glisten. "Is this funny to you Mark?"

"What? No! No y/n I really like you, have liked you way before Jeno did I swear this isn't a game" he said quickly, holding onto your hand in hopes of conveying his sincerity. But it only made you more doubtful.

"Even if it was true Mark I d-dont want to like anyone again for a while" you said tone sad and Mark felt bad, maybe he didn't think this through.

"I'll wait then" it was your turn to look confused

"Then I'll wait for you to be ready to like someone again."

You sighed but the gesture seemed so sweet and from what you knew from the little time you spent with him in that small room daily was that Mark wasn't a good liar, "It may take a long while and I might not even end up liking you. You think you're okay with that?"

Mark eyes sparkled with something unreadable but it was definitely something good. He nodded his head, determined, "No matter how long and with how little hope I have, I'll wait for you to like me."

~~~

Lee brother's- A mini series

Previous part: Lee Taeyong

Next part: Ten Lee

[enchantedblackrose]

All the Pieces Pt 3

Gif not mine. Full credit to the owner. Taken from Google Images

All the Pieces

Sirius Black/Fem Reader

Warnings: unedited, mild language, alcohol consumption, brief mentions of underage drinking, small mention of bullying. Lengthy author's notes at the end. Also this was a huge PIA to write so hopefully it doesn't read too disconnected

Part 1|| Part 2|| Part 4|| Part 5

Part 3 of ?

When you touch me gently I remember how you know And the sun shines rings around your smile And I'm here laughing like a child -Pieces, Dan Powell

If it was any other person on your doorstep, you'd probably berate them for inducing that almost heart attack you just experienced. Instead you grab the familiar face by the sleeve of his worn jacket, pulling him into your living room.

"I could deck you, Remus John Lupin. I thought someone came for him. Ugh. Come here." Your arms wrap  around him for a tight hug, which he returns. "He's here, Remus. He's safe." You feel Remus let out a deep sigh of relief. Pulling away, you look at him with gentle scrutiny, knowing what a toll last night took on him. "You look awful. Did you walk far? You should've told me you were coming. I could have met you."

Remus shakes his head. "I caught a train and apparated most of the way."

"Stop fussing over him, y/n. Let the poor man get past the door."  Sirius's teasing voice calls out from behind you; no doubt his canine ears allowed him to hear the familiar voice even through the closed bedroom door and knew it was safe to come down.

The two men embrace; this encounter being much more relaxed than their last. No Peter, no warranted need for revenge, no threat of execution.

As you all stand in your living room, a haunting thought hits you: you three are it, the last of your true friends. Peter is the traitor. You suppress a shudder, swearing to make the most of this moment.

"You know," you say with a grin, "I happen to have a large bottle of firewhisky. Fancy a drink, boys?" Sirius's grin mirrors your own. Remus has a small tentative smile, but it's all the encouragement you need to send you to the kitchen to fetch the bottle.

The small, quaint kitchen appears even smaller with the disregarded dishes from breakfast still sitting out on your table. The sight causes a small frown to appear on your face. All the rest of the morning and most of your afternoon had been lost to the unplanned nap with Sirius. You fill your sink with soap and hot water. A few flicks of your wand and your dirty dishes are submerged in the water, scrubbed, and rinsed. The process begins again as now clean plates make their way to the drying rack, which is concerning because you dont believe you cast a spell for that. Confused, you turn to see Remus in the kitchen. He winks and wordlessly reaches your top cabinet without so much of a stretch to retrieve the bottle of firewhisky. You follow him back to the livingroom, toting three glasses.

"Cheers to freedom," you say once everyone has a full glass, "and to being reunited with old friends."

"You hear that, Remus? She thinks we're old." You roll your eyes good naturedly. Remus rests a hand on Sirius's shoulder, giving it a brotherly pat. "We are old," he says simply, before all three of you raise your glasses to your lips, sipping at the burning liquid. You each settle comfortably in your living room. Remus sits in the armchair, leaving the overstuffed couch for Sirius and you. You sit at an end, while he opts for the middle seat, but in a respectable distance of your space. The bottle of alcohol sits in arms reached on the coffee table.

"I thought you swore off this stuff y/n." Remus says with a twinkle in his eye as he takes another drink from his glass. "You know, considering your history with it.." You groan and Sirius throws his head back in laughter.

"I almost forgot," Sirius says breathlessly from laughing. "Was that seventh year?"

"Sixth. Just before we got together. I suppose I was trying to impress you," you tell him.

"You matched me drink for drink that night."

"Which was mad seeing how I never had a drink before. I spent all next morning and afternoon in bed, throwing up. It was awful."

"You're forgetting the best part," Remus interjects.

"Dancing on top of that old table in the Shrieking Shack, singing the chorus of "Rock and Roll all Nite" at the top of my lungs was far from the best part. I only wish I could forget it."

"That wasn't singing, love. More like cats dying," Sirius quips while he and Remus laugh. You say nothing, well aware how accurate the description fits. You take a long drink from your glass.

"Yes, well as, uh, entertaining as that moment was, I wasn't referring to it," says Remus. You look at him questioningly. "Have you forgotten sneaking into the Slytherin boys' dorm, stealing all their robes, turning them hot pink, changing the crest to a mountain troll, and then returning them to the dorm?"

"Oh,  Merlin. That was the same night wasn't it? James had never been so keen on lending me his invisibility cloak until I concocted that plan!" The two men laugh and you join in.

"You know most of my other friends thought I was strange for being into muggle music." You say as the laughter dies down.

"Lily shouldn't have?" Sirius asks after he swallows his drink.

"No. You're forgetting Lily and I weren't friends first. We didn't really talk or hang out until she and James started dating."

"That's right. I forgot. I remember the two of you constantly together."

"Because we bonded over you two idiots. Prior to that, she never came out and said it, but I think she thought I was daft hanging around you lot most of the time. The other girls were more forgiving, but they had crushes on you all." You give a careless shrug. It was no secret how sought after the boys had been in their schooldays.

"I never quite understood how you became friends with us," Remus says.

"It was easy with you. You were so nice, calm, dependable, and not obnoxious. Peter…" you pause, choosing words carefully, not wanting present feelings to influence memories. "He was quiet and lonely. Pretty much agreeable. Again, easy. James and Sirius? I was determined to never speak to either after that boat ride our first night."

"We saved your life that night!" Sirius interjects.

"You two were the reason it needed saving! Standing up in a fucking boat because you two saw whatever in the lake. James knocking me overboard in the process."

"It was a giant squid and we rescued you."

You roll your eyes. "I was drenched, freezing and completely mortified. And as apologetic as James was, he kept calling me the wrong name." You all laugh. 

"It wasn't until second year that I thought they might be okay. We had already become friends," you say looking at Remus. "I missed about a week of classes due to acute bronchitis. You spent time with me afterwards, helping me catch up. When you missed later that month, I was ready to return the favor."

Remus nods, remembering the time fondly. "You were an excellent note taker. Much better than the other three."

"Did you even take notes?" You ask with a playful glance to Sirius.

"In second year? Probably not." He grins ever so cheekily. You shake your head, but are smiling.

"So we became friends and you befriended James and Sirius by default?" Remus muses.

Sirius feigns hurt. "Are you implying we were some sort of consolation prize?"

"Actually," you interject, "They saved me once again. A group of four older boys were harassing me, just dumb taunts and knocking my books out from my hands. They came right over, not caring about being outnumbered. Got the gits to leave me alone. James finally learned my name and I realized Potter and Black weren't so awful after all."

"Those guys were jerks. It didn't sit well with us to see anyone bullied like that."

"Unless of course it was Snape," you counter.

"That was different," Sirius's free hand clenches into a fist as he takes a hard drink.

Remus is quick to change the subject. "Do you still have that remembrall?"

"The one we enchanted to go red only for James? Mhm! It's at my flat in the city."

"Do you mean our flat?" Sirius asks.

Your smile falters. "No. Sirius. I got a different place. After…everything. It was too hard."

A deafening silence falls. Each of you taking long sips from your glasses.

"Oh!" You jump up suddenly, which given your somewhat inebriated state is not the brightest idea. You stumble slightly, but Sirius steadies you, grabbing you by your hips. His fingers linger and your eyes meet. You lose yourself; for a moment you're sixteen again and his touch is more intoxicating than the alcohol. His gaze tells you he feels the same.

Remus clears his throat loudly before taking a drink from his glass.

"Thanks," you mumble, setting your glass on the table.

Sirius releases you from his grasp, though you still feel the ghost of his touch. "'Tis no trouble, darling." You sense his eyes on you as you disappear from the room, heading upstairs. Your head is buzzing, but you blame that on the alcohol…

You return downstairs to the living room, the fetched item tucked securely out of sight under your arm, and find the boys, men talking with easy smiles. It makes you so happy to witness and spend this time together. Your presence has their full attention.

"Follow me, please." You fill your glass with more firewhisky. Sirius mimics the gesture and offers Remus a refill, but he just shakes his head no and silently indicates to the liquid still in his glass. You grab your wand and lead your little group outside to the backyard. The sun sits low in the west, the sky becoming more plum and black than pink and gold. Buckbeak sits on the ground near your shed, one wing tucked over its head.

You hand Sirius your wand and then produce his prisoner robes. He laughs and even Remus looks as if he approves. Sirius waves your wand and the dingy, tattered garment is set ablaze. 

After a while, you all make your way back inside. You prepare a light dinner and the eating and drinking continue with more laughs and shared memories. Hours pass. The contents of the bottle nearly drained signal the night coming to an end.

"I'm one drink away from dancing on tabletops and singing, or, screeching some A-ha, or something equally as embarrassing." you laugh. "I'm going to bed. Remus, I offered Sirius your room, but you're welcome to the couch. There are blankets and pillows in the hall closet." 

"Thank you, y/n. But I should be going."

"What? No. Stay. I insist. I need to see your bemused face sipping tea when I come downstairs with a bloody hangover and you're just fine."

Remus grins. "I hate depriving you both of such a moment, but I have an appointment tomorrow morning. I've already rented a room." You frown but don't press the issue any more. "Though if you don't mind, I thought I'd travel by floo."

"Of course. Help yourself. Powder is on the mantle." You hug him close and kiss his cheek. You excuse yourself, giving the other two time to say goodbye.

As you head for the bathroom, you pause hearing their low voices.

"I'm so sorry, old friend, for believing you... betrayed them. I should have known better. I-"

"There's nothing to forgive. I doubted you, too. The war made us all fear the worst.."

Mentally, you chastise yourself for eavesdropping and begin washing your face.

Sirius has made his way upstairs. In passing his room, you say goodnight. You're about to close the door to your bedroom when he calls your name and you turn to see him stepping towards you. Without warning his lips crash down on yours. Your fingers intertwine in his dark curls at the nape of his neck as you let the kiss deepen. His hands grip your waist and he hoists you up off your feet with little effort just as he did many times all those years ago. Your legs wrap themselves around his waist as he carries you to your bed. He drops you gently and only breaks the kiss to look at you. Still hovering over you, his gray eyes search your face for the answer to an unasked question. You nod in response, but he continues to gaze at you longing to hear you say it.

"I want you."

A slow breath of relief leaves him and his mouth finds its way back to yours. 

The night ends with two former lovers once again completely losing themselves in a perfect moment.

//

There's an unspoken understanding that the night you and Sirius shared together was more than a drunken hookup after a long night of reminiscing. But you don't repeat the night, though you share your bed with him. Nights are hard for him. Sleep doesn't always come easy and he often wakes in the middle of the night screaming, or panicked with sweat pouring off his body. But your presence brings him a comfort he can't otherwise achieve. And so, you spend your night together in your bed. Sleeping.

As days turn into weeks, a comfortable routine has set. Remus visits about once a week. Surprisingly, Sirius has taken to caring for your garden. You go into town as needed and you and Sirius cook dinner together most nights. Buckbeak, now known as Witherwings per a letter from Hagrid that reached Sirius, roams your yard freely, occasionally taking flight in the safety of the countryside night skies, always returning by daybreak. As precautions for the hippogriff and Sirius you casted Protego totalum over the cottage and yards. 

During this time together, Sirius learns how you took over your parents' shop*, how you've taken on a promising young woman who mostly looks after it, leaving you to spend more time here at the cottage, which also belonged to your parents. With tears in your eyes, you told him how they died months apart just over two years ago. He comforted you, remembering them both fondly and told you they'd be proud of you.

The day is still young when you tell him you have to go to the shop to take inventory. Before you leave you call out to him.

"Since it looks like rain, can you please go through some of your things in the attic?"

"Yes, dear," he uses the term mockingly and you playfully glare back at him.

"Try not to burn the place down while I'm gone." With that, you close the door behind you.

It's late afternoon when you return home. Sirius is waiting for you. A midnight blue box in his hand.

"Will you marry me, y/n?"

*a/n: I kept this vague so you can imagine a shop that fits your personality/likes/whatever. I'll only specify this later if needed for storylines. I wanted something where you could be allotted time off easily. Personally I imagine maybe an apothecary? Or maybe an antique shop. What about you?

2: I'm thinking of writing a prequel? More like blurbs, highlighting moments between you and Sirius. But I need to know what you want to read. First engagement? First kiss? When Sirius realizes he's in love? Time at Hogwarts? Post Hogwarts but pre Azkaban?

Taglist <3:  @oingo233 @marimorena06 @medalloway-blog