#I did my best to work with 5 people
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A punishment for You! Part 2
Part 1 here! ➡️ A punishment for You!
Summary: After he lost Masaru's challenge, now Nagito will have to endure all the warriors of hope and their teases...
A/N: Well first of all I'm sorry for the delay heh, second... today is my birthday yay!
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"yeah enjoy the break... for now, Remember you didn't win the challenge hehe" masaru said leaving the room, he leave nagito in the middle of the room still tied up with his thoughts.
Oh men... they will have no mercy on me right?
That's what nagito thought when he hears the faint noise of footsteps approaching, He could already hear the other children talking between eachother.
This was going to be trouble...
Masaru returns with the other Warriors of Hope in the room.
"Ok, Servant! you still alive? How was the tickling? And I can see how tired you are and I have to say that I am impressed! You lasted more than I expected!, but now, the moment of truth! Who wants to be the one who tickles our pathetic Servant?"
Masaru said while both Jataro and Kotoko raise their hands while Nagisa seemed to have been forced to come and Monaca just watched smiling.
"Ahhh..." Nagito's eyes widened at the sight of the children, He could already see his predicament getting worse by the second, The chains on his collar were rattling against one another.
"Heh... So Y-you're really all gonna tickle me again huh?" he says with a nervous chuckle.
"That's exactly what's going to happen Servant!" Monaca says with a a little sadist smile on her face.
"Now, Nagisa, I know you aren't too excited, But you have to participate! Don't go easy on him Nagisa... Don't forget you have to torture this demon just like we do with all of the others." Monaca said addressing Nagisa when she saw that he did not want to tickle him.
Nagisa didn't want to participate in this since it was too "childish" for him, despite being a child himself, but since Monaca ordered it he had no choice but to accept.
then Nagisa goes without emotion to Servant and begins to attack his sides directly where Masaru had left him, He used his fingers, poking in one direction after another, making multiple quick pokes, Seeing that Nagisa had now started, Kotoko also excitedly began to tickle him but with a feather on his neck.
"Ah! HaahaHahahha!" Nagito's eyes widened again as he was tickled around his armpits. His body began writhing in the chair, he could feel his body moving with each poke that Nagisa gave him.
He felt the feather touch his neck and he began to shake more as it tickled, he was trying his hardest not to laugh, but it just seemed impossible.
"Ahahaha-wahahahait!... Nohoho! hahah...hahahaha!" Nagito voice was loud and high pitched, and his laugh had a slightly embarrassed tone to it.
"mm you know I thought adults weren't ticklish" Kotoko said amused.
"Look at him! he's a grown man but one feather on the neck is enough to make him laugh!" because Monaca commented, the other Warriors begin to laugh.
Nagito looked up at the four kids, each one laughing at his situation and teasing him. He didn't want to care, it was better than being punished with punches... even tought he was still embarrassed.
"Pleahahahasee! Thihihis is toohoho much! Hahahaha! Stohohop!"
masaru also decides to go tickle nagito again, While Kotoko continues to tickle him with the feather, masaru attacks nagito's neck with his entire hands and fingers, all at the same time making his neck become completely red.
"Heh, look at his face! He's becoming red!" Masaru laughed.
"It's so strange to see him like this... Normally he always has a calm smile" jataro mentioned.
Nagito was now a bright shade of red and his neck was starting to get a little sore from the constant irritation. He giggled loudly now, not even trying to hide it. his face was probably the color of a tomato.
"Hahahaha! P-plehehehease go easier on mehehe!!"
"Don't make me laugh! A demon like you deserves to be tortured by us!" Masaru says and continues tickling nagito's red neck without even taking a breath.
"Monaca! Don't you want to join us?" Kotoko said Noticing that Monaca was just watching smiling.
Monaca was still smiling and said "Oh don't worry, I prefer to watch how you tickle him! It's a very funny scene"
she said with an innocent smile but deep down she was sadistically enjoying this while The other 4 children continued to tickle him non-stop.
Nagito's laugh became uncontrollable. It was no longer soft and quiet, his eyes start tearing up, He began to kick and thrash, his hands desperately fighting against his restraints in an attempt to break free.
"P-PLEHEHEASE! HAHAHAHA! I'M SORRY! I'm sohohorry for makihihing the pancakes wrohohong HAHAHA!" he said, his voice sounding less genuine in his desperation.
"You're begging to stop?... You're begging to us, children? What an adult you are, to make you beg like this..."
Nagisa said as he kept tickling, not making nagito's situation any better and the other 4 began to make his eyes water by tickling In his armpits and his sides.
"He's starting to cry? Heh, You are crying because of us? A mere bunch of kids? Pathetic..."
Nagito's begging for mercy was genuine, but he also was embarrassed about it. He didn't want to beg, it was a position he never wanted to be in but he would do anything to get the tickling to stop. He felt it was pathetic.
"HAHAHA! P...please STOHOHOP! I'll do anything, Anything just stop! There's gotta be something else you can do right!? PLEAHAHAHASEE!!"
"Hahaha... You know what? I think you're right. There are other things we can have you do to get your punishment!"
Masaru says as he lets nagito have some air to breathe, but not completely stopping the tickling.
"But you know what, Servant? You'll still get punished! Maybe we'll take you down to the sewers and throw you naked in the water... Or we'll lock you in a room without food! What do you think of these fun punish-"
Monaca cuts masaru's words "Please keep tickling him!"
Monaca clearly wanted them to continue, she loved seeing her servant like this, embarrassed, something other punishments wouldn't make him feel, the other children nodded and simply continued, Kotoko with the feather that she had in her hand now she tickled his nose to make him sneeze and bother him.
Nagito was relieved to have air, he could breathe again and think.... for a few seconds he tried his hardest to not sneeze, His eyes were watering, his nose was itching and a few seconds later He sneezed and let out a loud.
"Hahaha... Aaaah! ACHOOO!"
He tried his hardest to not sneeze but it just sounded adorable, He looked away, embarrassed.
The Children began to laugh when he sneezed, even nagisa laughed and it didn't help nagito's situation, since if he was trying to hold his sneeze, now he also had to hold his laugh.
"Hahaha! That sneeze was so cute!" Jataro said while tickling Servant's belly, making nagito suffer even more.
"Aww... He's so ashamed of himself for sneezing, how adorbs!" Kotoko commented.
Nagito was so embarrassed. This was making him extremely uncomfortable and the fact they were talking about his sneeze made him even more embarrassed. He kept trying to hold in more sneezes and giggles, but of course that only made things harder for him.
"H-HEY... S-STOHOHOP HAHAHA! NOT M-MY BELLY HAHAHAHA!..." He said, trying to hold back his laugher While he thought how could he convince them to let him go, he said out loud the first idea that occurred to him.
"W-WAIHIHIT! I have a deal for all of you! HAHAHA! PLEASE LISTEN TO MEHEHE!"
"Hmm... A deal? Go on, Servant!" Monaca said smiling" Jataro, Kotoko and Nagisa kept tickling nagito's belly and sides.
"Oh? What could this be?" Jataro said curiously.
"I hope it's a good deal or you will receive more punishment, I mean more tickles!" Masaru said.
Nagito didn't speak at first, as he was trying to catch his breath, but when he was able to speak he said.
"Uh-Well... You see, I know you're all having fun with me but... How about this... You free me from this chair and I bring you an adul- a demon from the city so you can have fun with him... What do you think...?"
Monaca After hearing that she felt intrigued by this proposal, her eyes widened and she smiled more saying.
"Oh, Servant... You're actually brilliant, I think we actually should accept your proposal, don't you think?" She turned to face the other kids who who simply shrugged their shoulders while agreed with Monaca.
"Fine! Servant you have yourself a deal! we will free you and you will go find a demon for us!"
Nagito looked surprised at them, he didn't think they would actually agree to do what he said.
He couldn't believe his luck... they actually agreed! It was too good to be true, but he'll make the most out of it, at least he could have some freedom for now.
"That's.. awesome! I promise you won't regret it. I'll bring you guys a demon for you to play with!" he said excitedly.
"Well, now that we all have an agreement, why don't you get us a demon like you promise... or you may face another punishment" monaca said with a slightly threatening aura.
the children untied Servant letting him go when Kotoko nodded "yeah! bring a ticklish demon! You have an hour, so hurry up.!"
Nagito nodded, knowing what kind of punishment he could get if he failed the deliver.
"A..alright! I'll bring back a demon for you to play with! I won't disappoint you!" He says, giving a nervous smile.
Nagito then exits the room quickly, it wouldn't be that difficult to find an adult, he just had to look in those makeshift hiding places they make and then he would have to trick them a little, although... Even though he has never cared too much about that... He felt sorry for who would be the next children's poor victim...
#RIP to the person who is going to take nagito for the kids#I did my best to work with 5 people#I hope it turned out well!#danganronpa tickle#tickling#danganronpa#tickle fic#lee!nagito#warriors of hope#nagito komaeda#sfw tickling community#geowrites!
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Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Seasons 1-3 » T-shirts
#Ted Lasso#Theodore Lasso#Jason Sudeikis#*mine: gif#tedlassoedit#ugh you idiot with that face#stop staring at me swan#I think I got all the T-shirt moments for Ted. Can you guess the two scenes I forgot and had to go back and add???#I've also kept these in order of season/episode appearance and it feels kind of telling#not quite sure how I'm feeling about these and how they turned out#these are all from 2160p video files (I've only worked with 2160 one other time) and the timing of these frames looks off#I did my best to fix and readjust them#to the 5 to 8 people that read these tags let me know if I should keep trying/working with 2160p or just stick with 1080p#can we see a major difference in the image quality? I'm using all my same edit settings here#@chainofclovers I saw your tags about the black Joe Arthur shirt I was/have been thinking the same thing#I'm glad I got my o.g. laptop to power up to finish this gifset (definitely a power button issue)#will I ever make that mirror gifset idea??? probably not but I got a couple of mirror moments here#I almost used the other mirror moment from episode 7 but I wanted a different angle/view#this gifset could've been a lot more of Ted in bed wearing T-shirts tbh#¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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starting a praying circle for dc to give juni ba a red hood book next. we'll meet every thursday 11pm lmk if you're interested
#no religious belief required#i just know juni has the most gut wrenching backstory for him. like we all know the basics are probably still there but GOD I NEED TO KNOW#why is he so small? did the lazarus pit not affect him like in the main continuity? is that why he has all the scars?#what's his relationship with the rest of the family like? did he beat up tim? bc they seem very friendly in boy wonder 5 and i wanna know#are they best buddies? do the outlaws exist in that universe? probably not ig but does he not have ANY friends?#what's his relationship as the red hood with crime alley like? do people fear him? do they feel safer bc of him? how does he work?#does he still kill? did he mend ways with bruce after issues 2 and 5? did batman condemn him whe he came back a murderer?#i have so many more questions i can't stop thinking about for months now#i just need to know my baby will be okay#juni ba's jason todd you will always be my favorite#jason todd#red hood#juni ba#the boy wonder#the boy wonder 2#the boy wonder 5
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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i came here specifically to compliment your character designs on the reddit x tumblr post (the tumblr blue hair! of course!) and snoop around for more art & any commentary on your process. you've got a great eye for composition, poses, and colors. keep doing the thing 💜
Awww, that is very sweet! Thank you for a lot of warm words^^ Please, feel free to snoop around, I draw some stuff here and there and I have few upcoming projects.
For the commentary on the reddit x tumblr art: I thought that would be very fun, and about references (I can collect them all in this post, if you may)
- TARDIS poster on the wall, obviously, from Doctor Who (initially it was poster with Sherlock and John but I thought their face would be too distracting from the art xD).
- Samulet and a cosmic wing: Supernatural
- A bit of tobacco pipe: a little ref I squeezed from Sherlock instead of the poster last minute
- Bad Wolf: Doctor Who. Broken heart is to commemorate all the hearts broken and tears shed after some famous episodes xD
- Nong Nao doll! (that many people were surprised to see) is from fantastic Thailand BL series called Bad Buddy. 10/10 would recommend watching.
- 42 is the 'the ultimate answer to the universe' reference, don't ask me why but i associate Reddit with IT coding, crazy theories/discussions, AITA and furry forums and, you know, he could be spotting a tail once in a while along with his antenna, but just referencing to cool sci-fi stories felt more tangible to me xD
- Thorn tattoos because I love them and they look 'cool bro'
- Shoelaces hanging on the lamp stolen from you-know-who.
- Huge horse aka both plinko horse and that huge lamp
- Of course, none pizza with left beef ready on the table
- Two glasses of wine? champagne? Tumblr was trying to force roommate Twitter to do the Good Omens scene rendition but eventually got to do it with Reddit in my next sketches xD)
- Ace cake, rainbow and ^_^ anime pins!
- color friendship bracelets because Tumblr is still stuck in years ago and doesn't like to throw away little things with memories
- PRIDEMONTH shirt, because of course, how could I not
I think that's about all the references that I put in my silly little drawing :D
You asked me about commentary yourself, hehe.
#reddit x tumblr#my works#explanation#reddit blackout#reddit#tumblr#yeah that art thing that randomly shows up on your dash i am so sorry#even i saw it like 5 times from different people who didn't reblog it from me#am i truly sorry tho?#no it was fun#embrace the cringe but i did my best with that fanart
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i was on zillow today, fantasizing about being able to live somewhere, when i came across the listing for my childhood home. it wasn't active/being sold, but it was on there with some pics of the interior. and my GOD. THEY MADE HER UGLY. THEY TOOK HER RUSTIC PUSSY OUT. WHAT THE FUCK
#i'd share pics if it didn't dox me a little#but it's SO SAD#PLS#i needed to see her... curiosity got me. i dream of this house genuinely nearly every night#but like. oh my god.#this is probably for the best bc it means i cant romanticize about buying this home again one day and expecting it to look at all like#it did#but they literally took down to bare bones and reshaped her and ohh my god#babes there was so much gorgeous wood work in that house#there was an accent exposed brick wall in the living room#the open layout was still closed off Enough to feel like separate rooms. but they opened it even more#AND THEY TOOK AWAY THE BARSTOOL/COUNTER AREA ?? IM SO CONFUSED#WHY WOULD U DO THAT#YOU COULD SIT AT THIS GORGEOUS BLACK GRANITE COUNTER AND EAT SITTING IN THE LIVING AREA AS SOMEONE YOU LOVE SERVED YOU A MEAL DIRECTLY FROM#THE KITCHEN#i'm not genuinely bent out of shape about this btw. i just had to share this somewhere sldkjfdskl#people will buy YOUR childhood home and make it ''''MODERN.'''' it will happen one day to YOU#they will paint the walls GRAY & take the pussy out of her TOO (the walls were warm deep yellows/oranges/reds. bedrooms were lighter blues)#THEY TOOK AWAY THE WARM COLORED TILES OF THE LIVING AREA AND REPLACED IT WITH UGLY WOOD FLOORING ???#THEY REMOVED THE MOLDINGS ENTIRELY ??#NO MORE WINDOW LEDGES ??????#WHAT WAS HAPPENING HERE#praying that these were In Progress pics and somebody has returned love to this home since bc. my god#again vague for my own safety but i moved out within the last decade and the home was resold in the last 5 or so years and thats when these#pics r from i think. so they've had time to fix her since#and boy was she a fixer upper after the horrors that happened inside those walls </3 ASLKDFJSAK#i should literally just write about this and instead i'm posting on tumblr#yeah that's life. that's being a tumblrina writer.#personal#.txt
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it pisses me off when rich people give the worst/cheapest gifts they can for birthdays and holidays like listen here you mr krabs ass bitch stop being cheap
#deity dialogue#stopping by the hallmark on my birthday and leaving me in the card so you can buy me my birthday ‘gifts’ on my birthday#know what I got? A shitty charm with my initial on it and two small santa shaped chocolates I was so mad#for Christmas he would give my sisters and I $20 gift cards and since my bday is in December they’d combine my gifts yall what I got extra?#I got $5.#you mother fucker like I understand when we were kids shit was tough you weren’t rich yet but :|#you got rich#meanwhile I was working making $7.25 an hour at a dollar tree and still did my best to give your kids $50 each for the holidays#your wife at the time gave us shit from her mlm as gifts like. maam you are a rich only child you could have afforded better gifts#I don’t feel bad for sounding. ungrateful btw these people had plenty of money to make an effort like everyone else made an effort for their#gifts ::#:/#I think it’s also the fact that no one in my family really liked me added to why I consistently got like shit tier gifts im ngl
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someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck
#who is talking about this!!!! let me know#idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which#i was anticipating#and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before#but liiiiiike.#i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them#it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there#just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse#like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no#anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite#and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up#people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out#and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point#or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible#but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding#at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends#which i am so grateful for obviously#i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol#AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad#just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t#i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it#i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this#which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao#probably for the best#ugh whatever#again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know#meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone#AAAAAAAA i just want to scream#text
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I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day
#what made it worse was the client I spent most of my day with was a brand new client. and she booked super last minute#so I wasnt mentally prepared for doing a 5 hour color. and her natural hair was already pretty light so I had to foil foil foil. go back.#pull out first couple foils. foil foil foil. go back. pull out the next few.#over and over and over.#and her hair was so fucking long. and so fucking thick.#and after the first hour she wouldn't talk. like I like my silence so I don't fight it much#but every now and then I would try to engage with her. I'd say something and she would straight up ignore me. no acknowledgment.#which makes me feel anxious cuz it's like jesus... does she hate me?? did I piss her off somehow?#even when I finished her hair (it looked fucking amazing no lie. one of my best highlights yet.) she had next to no reaction to it#she was like 'it looks fine. I mean good. it's good.' completely deadpan#I laughed it off and was like yeah it's been a long day girl! but it looks amazinggg on you!!#no response. deep inhale. alright.#whatever tho.#when I did finally get off work I stopped @ bojangles cuz I was lightheaded and hadn't eaten since morning#and when I tell you I almost broke down into tears cuz there were so many people crowding the goddamn pickup area.#and so many bizarre conversations going on. genuinely felt like I was in some form of hell#like my feet hurt. my back hurts. I'm tired. I didn't get the validation I like to have over a 5 hour transformative color.#I'm hungry and there are two elderly women blocking the pickup counter. one is hard of hearing so she keeps yelling HUH???#and the other only speaks in soft baby whispers. that goes as well as you can imagine.#there's a man behind me grilling an employee abt whether or not he goes to church. he starts witnessing to him#and the employee says 'I've never thought about it like that before' no less than 4 times.#there's a child in front of me playing tiktoks @ full volume. and this is all happening simultaneously.#I really considered just leaving without my food but I knew I needed to eat and didnt have anything at home so I stuck it out#was it worth it? no. bojangles honestly sucks these days but what's a girl gonna do.#got home and tried to pass out but nope. tossed and turned all night.#put on hot n cold patches to try to soothe the pain a little. didn't work cuz one pain would be eased a bit and another pain would take over#blahhhhhh#and now. I get to do it all over again! yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
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#trying not to take it personally that my best friend keeps leaving me on read#like i know she's busy and i generally don't care but I'm trying to make plans and her lack of an answer is driving me fucking crazy#and it's funny how when i did shift work i was frustrated with how hard it was to schedule plans with people#but now that I'm in a 9-5 my friends are in shift work and it's still impossible to schedule shit#i get irrationally jealous when they have a week day off and go off and do fun things together while I'm dying in my office#i hated not having weekends off previously but the grass is always greener i guess#personal#I just feel like I'm disconnected from everyone and it makes me want to cry#i am an island
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man idk what to tell yall
im just. exhausted atm
#i am working overtime weekly to try and make sure i have the time off i need to a) not have a stress seizure#and b) be able to have the Paid Time Off for the Forced Time Off around the xmas holidays#and i am. so fuckin tired#i dont work a full time schedule cause I Cannot Handle It and its never more apparent then when im forced to work overtime#maybe thats why mikotos videos hitting so hard atm for me idk man#im just#im tired man#did you know#my parent approached me. about 5 years after high school#everyday. after school. she'd ask us 'how are you' and everyday. without fail. the answer would be 'tired'#or if the question was 'how was today' for once. the answer was always 'long.' or 'tiring.'#but ye. about five years after. after we got our asd & adhd diagnosis. and before we got our DID diagnosis#she approached us and apologised. something along the lines of never realising that 'tired' was the best answer we could give#because we were Exhausted#and i always look back at that and go 'what. why. what did you think of us?' 'who did you think we were?'#you never accepted anything less than the answer that made the people around us the most comfortable#of course we were exhausted#Tired was Always the Best Answer we could give Without Lying#what about your child who refused to hang out with friends optionally. who refused out of school commitment options. who refused to do any#thing for their birthday. their celebrations. their anything and everything optional choice was Nothing#what on earth made you think We Weren't Exhausted#fuck man. we had Annual Seizures from Unknown causes (hint; it was Stress and Exhaustion. A N N U A L L Y)#idk#mikotos video has me Tired in a way We Already Were#and working overtime recently hasnt helped#im tired man.#im Tired#personal
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I am. Not dead. BUT will be gone for a like a day or few because the stuff at work did not! want! to! work!
Which I'd another way of saying that I finally was able to get free after working 34 consecutive hours in a row. The day prior I got 1 hour of sleep and that is all after 5 days of 10 or 11 hour work days.
I am so sleepy. I am taking tomorrow off and probably going to sleep right through it. Anywho cheers everyone!! I am going to go to the shadow realm now @:P
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#maybe??#the one coworjer that has been helping as best he can is now calling me a cyborg haha! it is funny#but strange because before i was officially hired the supervisor (lead programmer) said i was#i was like a robot and if i had been perfect there'd be no difference#<- this was his notes when i finished my (payless) practicum there that lead to me being hired before graduating#ironically the new guy (hes been around half a year lol) was one of the only other people that graduated from my course#none of us ever met but it is cool!! and he did a lot to help out over this week of nonstop work#<- okay i KNOW someone will say “hey. you know you could have stopped right?”#but consider. i have very bad body awareness so i dont notice much impact from sleep deprivation and also i would feel so guilty @:(#and also consider!! i have either earned a hefty paycheck of the redt of the week off so like. capitalism yay?????#<- i do not support capitalism#ALSO sleep deprivation is SOOO silly because i get hyper! i feel like i get more and more energy and my brain doesnt stop thinking!#i have had a grand total of 3 hours of sleep in the past uhhh 4 days??#it is so silly!! but probably not good for me#but i CAN confirm to you that when websites say it takes 3 days of no sleep to start hallucinating they are exaggerating#it takes at least 5 or a week with only 1 or 2 hours sleep#even then it is so minor.#weirdest sleep deprivation hallucinations ive had was where every second time i blinked the world was overlayed with a different one#it has happened twice and it is literally and without exageration the STRANGEST feeling in the world. in the universe even#it is like you are flickering btween two realms that occupy the same physical space but from two different theoretical spaces#if that makes sense??#the first time it happened it was at a huge school sleep over and every few moments the gym full of sleeping bags and other peeps#would transform into all the chill monsters just living their life. like monsters in terms of not looking human nor like any earthly creatur#but not mentally monsters. it was like a towns square sort of thing? so they were rushing about and coming in and out the doors#second time it happened i was like 14 and in the back of an overstuffed car with a friend and their mom and we were in the middle of nowhere#forest for hours and hours longer still. slept on the side of the road lol. but it was like very so often huge huge giants would step over#the trees. all you could see was the somewhat woody-scaly texture of these massive massive poles or legs or whatever#slowly moving over the forest and walking around. looking up into the sky they just faded away too tall to see
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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
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it doesnt even matter it doesnt even matter it doesnt ever matter it doesnt even
#im just really tired i guess#i have too many bruises and i cant keep eating a meal a day#its just really tiring getting lied to#people think they care but they really.. just dont?#say you care but im making dinner because you have work and oliver needs it more. as if i havent been making dinner all week.#as if i didnt spend the past two days walking 2-5 miles every day.#'youve been so snappy' as if i didnt clean the whole living room. as if it isnt my fucking bed time. as if you care about my problems.#'olivers here if you need anything' yeah. sure. as if he wont groan and huff at best.#'im sorry i have to go to work' as if youd do anything different#'im not as bad as people make me out to be' 'youre being brainwashed' as if i didnt have to spend all day at my friends house#the day i was persrcibed testosterone because i knew what youd do if i stayed at home#as if you didnt threaten to take it away when i didnt listen to you#just... im jusy so tired. once my mom asked me 'whose birthday did i forget this year?' referring to my siblings.#she was buying gifts. we never celebrated my birthday. didnt have the heart to tell her it was ME. im justs o tired. im so tired#it really sucks to know that — that our sect of the sys is back out because#because we feel. so. Lost. worthless and lost a and alone#doesn't feel like our family is anything at all. and im here because#because of that. i hate that. i hate knowing why i hate it#i hate knowing who and what caused this im so tired i want my brothers i want my sister i want to get out of here for a while i just need to#get out#its so stupid im the oldest sibling but i want my siblings so bad they would never let me down#fucking NEVER! never. not in a way that could ever really matter. just. god#vent post#free to respond#???#i dont fuckin care if you reblog or reply or whatever. im just so tired i just need to yell you guys can say whatever#i got yelled at for reminding them to schedule my fucking root canal anf i just cant take it . so#im. im so hungry okay? im just so hungry#im hungry and tired and sore and so fucking alone and i cant fucking take it#cant eat right now n even if i could i wouldnt have the food so
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i'm going to fucking kill someone. i got screamed at & called selfish & stupid for telling my mom to wear a mask. she gave me covid
#& you wanna know the kicker? she's going on a vacation. yeah. she's going on a plane right now while badly sick with covid#how do i communicate with people who are literally missing their brain?#it was my sister who screamed at me btw. she feels the need to play devil's advocate whenever i open my mouth#my mom did what she always does & coughed 17 times without covering her mouth & then sat down in the livingroom to doomscroll for 7 hours#what the actual fuck is it with parents & not covering their mouths when they cough or sneeze? they straight up just spray people with covi#& then laugh about it when you point it out as if spreading the fucking plague is funny#best part is that we're pretty sure her getting covid 5 times a year because she refuses to wear masks killed her husband#not joking about that btw. all she had to say oh ''ooh yeah that would explain it''#like ??????????????????????#i didn't get the chance to go grocery shopping either so now i dont have any fresh food#if i have to eat one more frozen or processed meal i'm gonna fucking kill someone. & now i cant do that because i have basic empathy#i don't even feel right ordering food cuz like. i have to interact with someone to do that (can't pay online)#i avoid covid for this long & then get it because ''people look at you weird if you wear masks. you wouldn't get it''#bitch i'm queer. i wear queer pins. i wear a queer jacket. you're telling ME i wouldn't get receiving weird looks???#god my sister wants to be oppressed so fucking bad. i'm sorry but bitch isn't a slur & you're a fucking coward for not wearing masks#i hope you cant fucking work for weeks because of this bullshit. bitch
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