#I didn't look at any references and I realised she's kinda different

[astrocalypse]

Have an Avery!!

[whenlilyfallsinlove]

the three times you and georgie cooper were jealous of each other and the one time you acted on it

a/n: ahh first post!! i was actually watching young sheldon while writing this :) sad it's the last season but excited for georgie and mandy spin off!! anyway felt like there was a lack of georgie x readers so wrote this with my fav trope! enjoy!

i - the time when veronica duncan punched georgie in the face

"and then... she punched me in the face!" your best friend georgie recounted to you, as you sat on the front porch of his house, a can of beer in both your hands.

"she punched you in the face, in front of everyone?!" you chuckle, raising an eyebrow.

"yeah.." he replied.

"no way! what did you even do?!" you take a sip of your beer, looking at him. your best friend georgie was one of your favourite people in the whole world and very good looking, hey! you were allowed to say that!

"i kinda.. told her i loved her. in front of the whole church." georgie muttered, slightly flustered.

"you what?!" you spluttered, hardly believing a word he was saying.

georgie saw the look on your face.

"hey i'm not lying!" he says, chuckling.

"what did you expect?!?! poor girl. you barely know her georgie!" you laugh teasingly, this boy really was something else. you had grown up alongside the boy and everything he did even to this day still surprised you.

"i know but i'm bummed by it.. i really like her y/n." he looks at you with wide eyes. he sounded... serious?

this stopped you laughing.

"you really like her huh?" you look at him, encouraging him to say more.

"yeah.. look" georgie sighs, taking a swig of his beer. "i've never felt this way about any girl before. ever."

oh. why did this feel like a massive kick in the stomach? your insides had gone all funny.

"oh.." you mutter, looking down. "didn't realise you were that serious."

"yeah.. i need to make it up to her, i care about her.. even if she don't about me" georgie sighs.

woah he really seemed to care about her. why did this aggravate you so much? veronica was a nice girl, pretty and kind.. even if she did (rightfully) punch him in the face. she was good to your best friend. so why didn't you feel supportive?

"don't worry georgie.." you reach out and comfortingly pat his arm "she's a nice girl, she'll forgive you."

he smiles and wraps his arm round you "thanks y/n, you're the best friend ever, ya know that?"

"yep.. what would you do without me." you chuckle, nervously.

friend. why did him referring to you as that make you feel queasy? that's what you were, right? best friends? this felt weird though.. different.

you suddenly felt sick.

"look i gotta get home.. got a lot of homework" you stand, trying to ignore the feelings you were currently having.

"going so soon l/n?" georgie grins.

"yeah sorry.." you chuckle "good luck with the veronica thing anyway.. i'll see you tomorrow."

"see ya" he smiles and waves you off.

you wave back and walk down the street to your house, thinking about what had just happened.

the sickness feeling, the disgust, the small bit of sadness you felt when georgie said he'd never felt that way before

then it sunk in. you were jealous. fuck!

ii - the time that guy from your spanish class asked you out

spanish was somehow both your favourite and least favourite class. i mean you hated the class - you were awful at it but you got to sit next to georgie in it.. so maybe it wasn't too bad.

today started like any other spanish lesson. you listened to the teacher drone on about grammar, you and georgie had a footsie war under the table etc. everything was normal. that was until the end of the lesson.

you were packing away your notebooks, listening to georgie babble on about football when adam, the boy who sat in front of you, approached you.

"hey y/n" adam smiled shyly at you,

"oh uh hey adam" you said friendly enough, but very confused on why he was speaking to you.

you weren't the only one confused. next to you, georgie had been interrupted by this exchange and had stopped talking, now listening, his eyebrow raised.

"uh i was wondering.. if you'd like to see the new ghostbusters movie with me tomorrow night.. its okay if not, i understand." adam chuckled nervously.

georgie frowned at this. who did this adam guy think he was, asking you out to the movies? he didn't even know you! who asks someone out that they don't even know.. this guy was a total weirdo. there was no way you were gonna say yes.

"um.. okay" you interrupted his train of thought. adam was quite handsome, and seemed nice. and although it was bad to admit, you needed a distraction from the unknown feelings you were having for your best friend.

your answer shocked georgie. why on earth did you say yes? did you feel bad for him or something.. or maybe you just wanted to see the new ghostbusters? he would've taken you if that was the case! not this idiot.

"oh good. i'll pick you up at 7 tomorrow then?" adam smiles at you, and god georgie wanted to punch him.

"yeah okay." you smile back, and watched as he waved at you then left class.

"well that was.." you turn to georgie, who is not looking at you but is looking straight ahead.

"let's go to lunch." georgie ignores you and starts walking off.

"oh okay" you mutter, then follow him.

georgie was mad. this guy didn't deserve you, he was definitely punching! you were beautiful and deserved someone way better. someone like.. him! but no you were best friends.. he couldn't ruin that. but the more he thought about it the more he realised he was jealous.

you were his, not that adams! that was the day georgie cooper realised he liked you, his best friend.

iii- the time georgie ditched you to hang out with jana boggs

every summer, you tagged along with the coopers (well more so georgie but you had long since been accepted as a member of the familt) to the carnival set up by pastor jeff and the church.

every year, you and georgie usually went off together and did your own thing but this year was different. georgie had been dating jana for a while now and of course it was only normal for him to not hang with you as much and you shouldn't get mad at him for wanting to spend time with her.. right?

"oh look.. jana's over there." georgie chuckles, awkwardly looking to where his girlfriend was stood.

"yep." you reply.

"and she looks.. pretty lonely" georgie states, again awkwardly.

"uh huh" you nod.

"maybe she needs someone to talk to?" he says.

"hey i get the hint, you go hang with her.. she's your girlfriend after all, i'll stay here with missy" you try and say encouragingly, but your voice wobbles slightly.

"really?!" george smiles.

"yeah!" you reply.

"you're the best" he gives you a tight hug. "i owe you one!"

"don't worry" you say, watching him walk off to jana " that's what friends are for" you mutter.

you look to the ground. it felt like it was time to finally accept that you liked georgie a lot. and not just as a friend.

"that was pretty sad to watch" missy speaks up, looking at you half sympathetically, half in enjoyment.

"well i'm glad my sad life gives you joy." you let out a weak laugh.

"look i've always liked you y/n, you're cool, and i've always thought you can do wayyy better than my dumb brother" she tries to comfort you.

"well thanks." you smile.

"and just so you know... i think georgie likes you back. he's just stupid.. and scared." missy smiles.

"i hope that's the case." you smile back.

as you watch georgie laugh along with jana, you couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy.

you really liked your best friend.

iv - the time where missy matchmakes.

"georgie.. please please please can you take me and marcus to the movies tonight" missy begged, standing in georgie's doorway.

"missy.. i'm supposed to be hanging with y/n tonight." georgie frowned, secretly he had hoped tonight would be the night he might finally confess to you.

"bring her with you! she loves me." missy smiles smugly.

"we'll see." georgie sighs.

four hours later, georgie, y/n and missy were in the car, going to pick marcus up. georgie didn't take much convincing after learning it would entail missy and her boyfriend being alone, and you were quick to accept to come with.

"so missy.. how serious are you and marcus?" you ask, turning round and smiling at her.

"we're kinda serious.. we've held hands a bunch and hugged. we haven't kissed.. but we've shared a straw" she replies, subtly bragging.

"oh wow pretty serious then." you chuckle. georgie smiles at you. he loved that you got on so well with his family, it was something he'd always liked about you.

there was silence for a while.

"can i ask you guys a personal question?" missy breaks the silence.

"umm sure" georgie responds as you nod.

"so you're both single..."

"thanks for the reminder" you smile playfully.

"and i know jana broke up with georgie because of you y/n.."

"how do you know that" georgie exclaims, confused.

"i know everything." missy deadpans. "and i also heard you on the phone to each other."

"anyway.." she continues "why don't you just date each other? it's very clear that you like each other, everyone can see it. it's simple." she says, proudly.

both your eyes widen. you were not expecting that. you start uncomfortably laughing and turn to look at georgie.

georgie was looking straight forward , avoiding eye contact.

"well.." you start "i don't think i'm georgie's type.."

"you kidding?" georgie exclaims. "not my type? of course you are! i compare every girl i ever meet to you!"

you sat shocked. what. the. hell.

"you do?" you look at him.

"of course i do. i like you a lot y/n." georgie blushes, avoiding eye contact.

your heart stopped. finally!!

"oh really? georgie i also like you a lot!" you smile, brightly.

"you do?" georgie grins.

"yeah of course i do! i have for ages.. i was jealous of jana.. and damn this was ages ago but i was jealous of veronica as well!" you chuckle.

"no way!! i was jealous of that adam guy! and pretty much any other guy who talked to you as well!" georgie replies, smirking.

you smile.

"i was just too nervous to say anything." you say.

"holy shit, me too!" georgie agrees.

you reach over and touch his shoulder. he smiles back. and at that moment although it sounded cheesy, it did really feel like a moment from a romcom.

"aww that was real cute guys." missy smiles.

"but don't you dare say any of that cheesy stuff when marcus is in the car!"

[delicatebluebirdruins]

lockwood & co. the screaming staircase and the whispering skull initial thoughts

TSS: some things have not aged all that well (some comments from and about George) still have no idea if i did read this book or not way back in 2013. wish Barnes was proud of them in the show for Combe Carey Hall as well

and i would have loved to see them deliver the scene when Lucy tells Lockwood what happened back home just they have the acting chops to make [436] me yell "I trust your Talent and your judgement, and i'm very proud to have you on my team. OK?" (also lmao about Lucy running from the conversation with Lockwood and then what Lucy fell on when the skull spoke) also "Lockwood laughed again. Really laughed, I mean. He'd thrown his head back, I could tell"

TWS: didn't make official end of book thoughts for this (idk why) but here is my notes through reading it properly. i did enjoy it though

page numbers are for my copy so it might be different under a read more as i got long

the time between books got me a wee bit confused (it's easily done the moment 7 months was mentioned any semblence of understanding went out the window then my brain caught up)

uh did we need explanations of things when there is a glossary at the back of the book (and another book before hand)

19 the wraith hunting being cut out of the show (it was referenced we just don't see it) is really understandable considering the special effects involved it was a lot of ghosts

116 they get told about the mirror being stolen makes it seem less powerful

127 quite like the debrief

153 i like this reveal died of fright

159 ish "Flo Bones annoyed me" that came through pretty clearly in the show (also side note both trollop and slapper pretty much means the same thing :/)

"slow dawn of cunning realisation" what'd she realise?

190 George put the skull in the oven (and we see those recordings on the thinking cloth in the show)

222 i really don't like the jabs towards Carvers death i know he is technically a bad guy but still but i do like the quote on 225 "death is fugitive even when you're watching for it, the actual instant somehow slips through your fingers. You don't get that sudden drop of the head you see in movies. Instead you simply sit there, waiting for something to happen, and all at once you realise you've missed it. time to move along now. nothing to see. nothing to see there, ever again."

232 don't like the jabs. but I do like the reference to Portland Mews

234 hello job offer from Kipps

240 I like them settling down to talk with the skull

252 "[lockwood] grinned; it was that warm smile that made everything seem simpler; ready to click perfectly into place."

257 bring the skull without telling Lucy seem's a bad idea

292 Ned Shaw is a jackass

296 I really like the rat ghost scene it is so creepy. would have liked to see it in the show but the thought of the budget would probably not have stretched that far.

314 teamwork. i love this "the opening of Mrs Barrett's tomb saw us all set personal high- jump records"

317 the first locky

326 giving the necklace is really short and not as emotionally charged but also compliments so I really can't give it to much grief

"Lucy you look delightful," he said "George, you'll have to do. Oh, here's something for you, Luce. Might go with that excellent dress." He took my hand and placed in it a necklace of pretty silver links, with a small diamond as a pendant. It was really very beautiful "what?" I stared at it. "where'd you get this?"

"Just something i had. i suggest you close your mouth when you wear it..."

329 I love the descriptions of the relic collumns

breaking into the library is a last minute choice which is kinda funny

341 golden blade has a name Gabriel, pickled lungs on display and the Orpheus Society sounds interesting this is going to be fun

351 Breaking into Winkman's was pre planned

356 taking turns going in first causes bickering

362 the auction guests are recognisable and so when Lockwood spots Gabriel he recognises them... kind of defeats the purpose of the black market right?

369 the plan is "controlled" explosions

375 "he's shot his way through," I said. "on the upside, that's one less bullet for us.".

"How i love youre optimism, Luce..."

lmao love it

381 "we jumped out together, hand in hand"

397 i love this "they didn't stay- there was just a short discussion, then they both went off together. They took the sack. I thought Cubbins seemed uneasy. He was unsure of what he was doing. At the last moment he ran back in and left you that note. I'd say he was still fighting against my master, but the other fellow isn't. He's long gone"

and "but Cubbins has the madness too. Did you not notice? A whispered chuckle. Perhaps you never look at him."

400 figuring the connection of the missing dagger

441 George pretending to be dead

446 freeing the ghosts from the bone glass is always a favourite no matter the form and of course Lockwood is here "Anthony Lockwood stood there. He was covered in grave- dust, and there was cobwebs on his collar and in his hair. His trousers were torn at the knees, his fingers bleeding. He'd looked smarter in his time, but I can't say he'd ever looked better to me"

465 still haven't figured out the goggles

468 I love the walk up to the door and of course this quote "it was the old Lockwood smile again; the landing grew much brighter"

(you know saddest people smile the brightest thing)

basically every other chapter of both books i had the thought of "I am so glad they combined this into two" and i still have no idea why

i did have fun sharing some bits with my sister (she might read them later)

i used a lot of tabs in these books (big one with seven colours i actually finished it when i was finishing the Whispering Skull)

now back to the show and i do have thoughts (one of which will make the fight after the graveyard scene more insane stay tuned)

[journey-to-the-attic]

Hear me out, IK from HSR AU (Idk if you play it but)

Thought of this after realising Welt coincidentally kind of looks like a cross between Lucifer and Zhaoxi. I think a little IK+Stelle/Caelus+Dan+March squad would be super cute. Irresponsible big sister + slightly overprotective big brother + cool big sibling for IK. It's what she deserves.

I was thinking she'd take the MC's role but I love their characterisation a lot so I didn't wanna exclude them... maybe IK is a sort of 'receptacle companion' who has to share the Stellaron with them to help stabilise it. So I guess in this case they kinda are genuine siblings lol.

Anyway, IK gets summoned to the Devildom and within a day the Astral Express has warped over and everyone (but especially Dan Heng) is ready to start killing

i do know hsr! i picked it up a little while ago, but i haven't really stuck with it so i'm still at a very early point in the game. i'm vaguely familiar with the lore (from what i've played so far and also skimming wiki pages)

i really like the receptacle companion idea!! though i suppose the disadvantage is that whenever things go wrong for one of them, the other experiences the same effects, like in that early cutscene where they block march... but they can also sense each other across universes, which is probably how they tracked ik down

love the little astral express youngsters gang (note to self: think of better group name) <33 their dynamic would be equal parts cute and chaotic and though it may seem like ik is on the sensible side with dan heng, she is actually on a very different level of unhinged that just looks sensible as long as you don't put her in front of a cool monster

in this case ik would probably also have a variable path and type (same as the trailblazer), but if they were fixed... probably either harmony or abundance for path, and imaginary for type

(should we pick a trailblazer to use?? might get confusing since i'm pretty sure everyone on the astral express is a trailblazer, and i'd probably refer to this as a 'trailblazer ik' au, so it might get confusing. we could always just pick whichever for any given thing about it, just for variety)

[cr0wburr]

⚠️ HEAVY FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS ⚠️

If you haven't watched the movie, I recommend not reading this until then !!!

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

OK, FIRST OPINIONS.

I LOVED THE MOVIE, BLUMHOUSE REALLY FUCKIN DID IT, JUST PERFECTLY. THE ANIMATRONICS WERE MADE AMAZINGLY, SUCH PERFECT QUALITY JUST MWA !! THE ATMOSPHERE WAS CREATED BEAUTIFULLY, I LOVE HOW THEY DIDN'T ADD ALOT OF GORE AND FOCUSED ON THE GENERAL STORY/LORE MORE THEN THE SCARE FACTOR JUST AMAZING.

I ALSO LOVE HOW THEY MADE IT SO YOU DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW THE ENTIRE FNAF LORE, LIKE YOU JUST NEEDA KNOW THE BASICS OF THE GENERAL GAME.

THE BASICS BEING ↓

William Afton : murderer

The animatronics have children possessing them ((+The kid's body's are stuffed in the animatronic suits))

Survive 5 nights, simple.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

WHAT SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO FORGET THOUGH IS THAT IT'LL BE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIT ALL OF THE FNAF LORE IN A FEW MOVIES WE'LL BE GETTING, WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THIS IS SOME SORT OF ALTERNATIVE REALITY KINDA THING WITH VANNESA BEING WILLIAM'S DAUGHTER AND ALL, AND SEEMINGLY THE ONLY ACTUAL CHILD WE'VE SEEN OF WILLIAM'S DURING THE MOVIE.

WE'LL PROBABLY BE GETTING BASIC BITS OF LORE FROM THE GAMES & BOOKS, BUT WE WON'T BE GETTING A SHIT TON, PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS DIFFERENT, AND THAT WE WON'T BE GETTING MOVIES ON THE ACTUAL DAMN LORE.

BUT I ALSO THINK THAT THESE MOVIES ALONE TAKE PLACE, LIKE A LIL AFTER OR BEFORE SECURITY BREACH DUE TO VANNESA

((REPEATING MYSELF - I BELIEVE THIS IS AN ALTERNATIVE REALITY : WHERE WILLIAM DIDN'T DIE A FEW YEARS/MONTHS AFTER HE TRAPPED THE KID'S))

Now that, that's outta the way <3

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

CAN WE ALL AGREE MICHEAL WAS REAL FOR TURNING THE BB FIGURE AROUND THE 2 TIME'S HE SAW HIM, LIKE I'D DO THE EXACT SAME IK MOST OF Y'ALL WOULD LMAO

GUNNA BE HONEST, I DIDN'T EXPECT MAX TO BE JUST CUT ENTIRELY IN HALF BY FREDDY LIKE ACTUALLY, I JUST EXPECTED THE HEAD BEING CRUSHED/CUT OFF NOT HER ENTIRE TOP HALFF !!!

I LOVE HOW ABBY'S AND MICHEAL RELATIONSHIP AS SIBLINGS IS DONE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE, ESPECIALLY WITH HOW ABBY NEVER REALISED HOW HARD HE IS TRYING FOR HER, TO KEEP HER AND GIVE HER A SOMEWHAT DECENT LIFE BUT UNABLE TO WITH STUFF OUTTA HIS CONTROL AND THE AUNT COMING IN TO TRY TAKE HER (The aunt deserved her death <3)

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE FOXY THOUGH, ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS WITH ABBY THE FIRST NIGHT SHE STAYED, HE'S JUST SO FUCKIN ADORABLE, ALONG WITH FOXYS JUMPSCARE + THE FIRST PERSON VIEW WE GOT AS FOXY IN THE OPENING SCENE

EVEN WHEN CUPCAKE WAS ATTACKING THEY JUST LOOKED ABSOLUTELY ADORABLEE !!

I ALSO LOVE HOW WILLIAM'S SPRINGLOCKING SCENE WAS DONE, DIDN'T SHOW TO MUCH GORE BUT ALSO STILL GAVE OFF THE FACT THAT WE WAS DIEING THROUGH TWITCHING AND HIS SOUNDS

I LOVE HOW THEY PUT LITTLE GORE IN THE MOVIE IN GENERAL, IT'S AS IF THEY GENERALLY THOUGHT ABOUT PEOPLE WITH HEAVY DISLIKE FOR GORE, LIKE PEOPLE CAN STILL LOVE HORROR BUT FEEL OFF WITH GORE ((I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE, MILD GORE I'M FINE WITH, BUT HEAVY GORE IS A NO, BUT I STILL LOVE HORROR/THRILLER))

I LOVE THE SMALL REFERENCES AND EASTER EGGS YOU CAN FIND WITHIN THE MOVIE (I WON'T BE SAYING ANY I KNOW, Y'ALL GO FIND THEM YA SELVES)

GOD THE MOVIE WAS SO FUCKIN GOOD, EVEN AT THE CREDITS HAD ME ROLLING ALL GIDDY AND HAPPY, AND NGL AT THE VERY VERY END WHEN I HEARD THE PUPPET'S MUSIC BOX I GENERALLY EXPECTED A JUMPSCARE LMAO

BUT ALSO, BB FIGURE LEAVE THE POOR TAXI DRIVER ALONEEE !!! HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHINGGGGGG

[alienducky]

... Wait.

Sothis' space ship satellites???👀

Please explain 🙏

It's mostly a dumb kinda headcanon I have, which isn't really substantiated by anything in canon, but it's also not not backed up, so...?

(I am also doing this from memory, and can't remember all the direct quotes or evidence I found throughout playthroughs to make me think all of this, so apologies if I get canon stuff wrong. Or if I've messed up and got ideas from various fanfics. Also highly likely)

Cut for a long and meandering ramble that I'm admitting now doesn't make much sense because my brain is full of candyfloss and windchimes because trying new meds to help me concentrate is So Much Fun -___-;;;

Basically, Sothis is an alien. I think that part's pretty solid. She comes from the Blue Sea Star (Earth maybe? I think I talked to you (nerdnag) at one point before about something she had said that made me think she was originally from Earth?), which could in fact be a star as described or a distant planet...

OR

Or it could be the bigger spaceship Sothis travelled across the galaxy on, and what she then rode down from to crash into what are now known as the Oghma mountains with her landing craft/shuttle/escape pod/vessel. And the Blue Sea Star is actually just the bigger transport ship is still up there in high not-quite-geosynched orbit? I think Geosynched is the one where it stays in the exact same spot all day every day, so I think I mean another type, where it's only in the right place in the sky to be really visible and blue for however many months of the year instead of it then rolling over in spae so a different part of the hull catches the light and thus isn't blue anymore and so isn't as noticable.

Kinda like how everyone knows to look for the ISS shining and moving across the sky and pretend it's Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve? . . . I say everyone but I don't actually know how well known that is. Huh.

Ignoring that tangent before I fall too far down it, yeah. I figure her bigger spaceship is still up there, and she just lost the ability to get back to it. Maybe. I'm 90% sure I read a reference somewhere that said Sothis arrived in a crash. And it'd make more sense to have a crashed spaceship half buried in the mountain for some of those huge areas in Abyss rather than someone digging those giant caves out for funsies to my way of thinking.

And any sort of spaceship capable of intergalactic travel more than likely has some sort of surveilance tech? So Sothis' space ship satelites is more or less completely out of nowhere and not canon in the slightest... I kinda imagine the planet has some sort of tech network up there that's gone dorment but if someone finds the right buttons they could turn it back on again maybe

But I realise at this point that this is just part of the plot of the Dragonriders of Pern series, so make of that as you will.

But bonus for having some sort of surveilance tech, is how the fuck else would she know where to regrow land to make it look like a dragon's head if she didn't have some sort of eye in the sky to help her, huh? She was probably sitting in the dirt magicing mountains out of the sea with her magic-tablet on her knee thinking "hmmm, the fangs could be a tad longer, right now it looks like the poor thing is overdue a dentist visit"

Vaguely related, the Agarthan's missiles have always pissed me off. because wtf. Where are they stored? How are they launched? What are they made of? They're obviously metal, though I doubt they're nukes seeing as we see the aftermath of Fort Merceus and there's no where near enough destruction to be a nuke, and no one's keeling over dead from radiation... though that opens some interesting oppertunities for fanfics maybe?

Anyway. They're big, would take an absolute fuck tonne of power to launch and direct... unless they weren't being launched, and were instead being dropped from high orbit and guided down to where they're intended.

There is a smidge of a gap between Thales launching them and Rhea getting high enough to stop them at the end of Verdant Wind and Silver Snow if I recall correctly. And she seems to know where they'll be coming from, which would fir in with her knowing about the satelites

So side note of the Agarthans stole Sothis' high tech and access to the spaceship when they got Nemmy to kidnap Sothis while sleeping off her magic hangover, and I kinda headcanon that she was in some sort of high tech regen chamber to help her heal, rather than simply snuggled up in a warm bed taking a nap. Her being in some sort of locked/sealed chamber helps to explain why she was left all alone at Garreg Mach with zero guards or family around in case anything went wrong, ya know? Like waking up and wanting some warm milk and cookies, needing a night light, having a nightmare and wanting company. The little things in life

Also vaguely related? I headcanon for absolutely no reason whatsoever that Sothis didn't come here alone. Unless of course she came here from the Blue Sea Star in a single person craft for Reasons (like she got kicked off her original planet and is actually some sort of Space Criminal. Actually, that's a whole other tangent. Why did Sothis come here???). But yeah. I recon there are other Sothi-level people out there in the world still, and the Four Saints aren't as alone as they think they are... but also the others aren't coming to help because they find the shit Sothis got herself into hilarious and are sitting back with popcorn and making bets on what Sothis' pet project country will get itself into next

I am so sorry I made you lose braincells reading that. I truly do apologise

[earl-grey-love]

Its kinda funny your journeys total opposite, i figured out my sexuallty at 15 but took soo long with gender and youre vice versa! Ive only seen genderfluid "shift" between man woman and nonbinary but mines more woman and nothing?? Wack. Hows your gender since its bi? Is it both at same time or do you shift sometimes?

Right? My sexuality discovery was thrown off by a few factors tho. Being ace was the biggest cus I had no frame of reference for attraction outside of sxual (which I didn't experience), then I found nobody interesting enough to date & I had f/os already to fill my desire for romantic love. Then when I did fall in love for the first time I thought I was a lesbian & that's why I wasn't interested in boys.

But then my partner came out as a transgender man a week into our relationship. Which I was 100% accepting of and supported him wholly, but it did confuse me a bit in the sexuality department. But my partner after that was agender, and the one after came out to me as a transgender woman too. So after all that accidental t4t I realised I am panromantic and demipansexual. Gender just doesn't matter to me when it comes to who I fall for. Whoever fits, just fits and I love them for who they are.

As for my gender though I primarily identify with being masc. I see myself more as a guy than I do a girl, but I am definitely both. Which one I vibe with more does shift around, sometimes even in the same day tho it tends to be more consistent over weeks/months. And it's hard to really explain what it feels like because tho I identify with both, I'm also neither because I was never really a woman and never really a man. It's different.

I experience gender envy/dysphoria for both genders. Which one it is depends on which one I currently identify with more. Like when I feel fem, and I see women who look/dresses the way I'd like to, I feel a strong sense of discomfort/inadequacy. But if I feel masc and see that exact same woman I just think she's beautiful. Vice versa for men who are gender envy. This does cause problems in my relationships.

So basically sometimes it's both, sometimes it's more one than the other, and sometimes it's kinda neither. I don't identify with they/them or any neopronouns though. I'm just a blend of masc/fem presentations of self that shifts from one side of the spectrum to the other. But at the same time, I think gender is just made up so I don't even know what masc/fem even is. Its just a vibe and a feeling lol. Ig if I had to sum up my ultimate "thats my gender" vibe then it'd be like a man who loves to present "girly". Yknow like cute clothes + makeup + hair, etc.

That being said tho, not being seen as a woman too fills me with deep discomfort so therefore, I am both. I hope that made sense. I experimented this year with being fully transmasc but after doing that I realise that definitely isn't me. So 🤷‍♂️ I'm a man but also a woman but also not but also both but also neither I am ever changing.

I ask people to call me he/him and she/her interchangeably cus just one isn't good enough, even if I do feel exclusively one at the time. I can just say "hey don't call me he/him today" if I don't feel that way and my friends/husband respect it.

[adecila]

Are you saying even in irl cheaters aren’t always cheaters? And I’m reading this fic because you guys are amazing writers. I like the way you and mutt can put a story together. I don’t think it’s fair to tell me to stop reading your story because I don’t like one character tho

I was referring to the "once a cheater always a cheater" part—which is ironically the thing Ygritte uses to attack him again....like ashddhwjsj there's a reason Amy wrote her PR plant like that...

I'm saying that it's quite reductive to think that, by default, if someone cheated on their s/o once they will always cheat. You have to look at each situation in particular to imo be able to understand it, and even so, it's still quite unfair to instantly hold such an absolute belief, like it's either black or white, it can't be in between. Yes, some people have a problem and I'm not saying that's not true for them, I'm just saying that cheating doesn't happen in a vacuum. But that's a different debate.

Especially in this fic, in which Jon has explained what happened and the context of it all, it's quite baffling to say that. And he has expressed time and time again (from chapter 1 even!!) just how much he regrets it and has shown how much he's worked to be better.

It just perplexes me again and again whenever people read a fic that has cheating in any way just how black and white some insist on seeing things. Life isn't about absolutes. You can't think like that. Jon is a person who made a mistake. We all make mistakes. Good people can and will also make mistakes!! Just because they fucked up once doesn't mean that they're bad now (again, such absolutes and for what????) or that they will do the same thing again (to the same or to a different person). What matters is what we do after the mistake was made. And Jon has done everything in his power to learn from it and even thought he deserved all the shit Ygritte did to him.

And I've seen others hate on him too and it is truly sad to me because all he's been doing since chapter 1 is TRY TO BE BETTER. Do you know how hard that is??? Obviously the guilt was killing him inside (see the bad bender and the alcohol abuse) but he's worked through it in therapy. Like holy shit if you go back even 2 chapters before chapter 8 you can see how much he's still trying every single time. And I truly thought that the heart to heart he had at his flat with Dany will be eye-opening to many...seems like that's not that case.

Yes Jon cheated. Yes it was an awful thing of him to do. No Ygritte didn't deserve it. But Jon has admitted he fucked up and has been working through his mistake and he's been trying to be a better person.

And I appreciate the compliment, but idk what am I supposed to say to that? Because if after 107972 words you STILL say that Jon shouldn't be with Dany...it kinda makes me feel like we failed somewhere lmao like we've been showing so much of Jon dealing with his cheating and trying to be better for nothing. Like what does he have to do to be deserving of her? He can't go back in time and not cheat. So all he can do is move forward. And so far I think he's been doing fucking amazing. He's been respecting boundaries and promises and started communicating better with Dany. Just because he loves teasing her (because she enjoys it just as much if not more) doesn't mean he's treating her badly. That's just how he flirts?? And he's a very famous actor with a big ego like...I think he's acting accordingly!

Besides!! That kiss wasn't just sexual attraction for Dany. It was so much more than that...I thought it was obvious. Hence that big thing about her realising that Jon keeps choosing her when he could have gone with the simplest solution and dump her for Arianne.

If I said you should stop reading it was because I don't see the point of you reading a fic in which you clearly hate Jon, who is the other half of the ship. Like bestie that's a pretty important character to hate 😭😭😭 especially since the entire point of the story is getting Jon and Dany together! I just fail to understand how you could enjoy this fic if you think they shouldn't be together.

Still, you're free to do as you wish, obviously. What am I gonna do about it? 😭

[wjbs-aus]

Since I'm (probably) near the end of the new Saints Row, I can safely say that I love it and personally would put it as either second or joint-first on my personal SR ranking, and it's the best game I've played this year at time of writing. But because nuance, I'll be going into more detail below.

(spoiler warning for all but one of the missions prior to The After-Party).

I found the new named Saints far less annoying than I thought I would, and personally I would die for Eli.

Speaking of Eli, the LARP storyline is really fun, and it's personally my favourite part so far, especially the fact that the other Saints get roped in, leading up to the massive battle against Gwen. Also, the bit at the end when the Boss does all the silly poses while shooting the king was really funny, especially the aftermath where the petrol station clerk awkwardly asks the Boss to order something and they respond in-character.

I honestly think Sergio's death was kinda anticlimactic, like you're told you will fight him and you get ready for a huge fight that just... doesn't happen, and he just gets anticlimactically killed off in a cutscene; the Boss isn't even the one who does it! It doesn't help that I also think Los Panteros are the least-interesting of the three gangs (or two gangs and one megacorporation), just being the Brotherhood but orange and aztec-themed.

For the moral choice in the AI tank level, I chose to fire Marshall. I'll probably shoot him on my next playthrough.

The mission where you have to steal the sculptures was really difficult and I had to get my brother - who is better at driving games than me - to do it.

The city is amazing, and honestly it's my favourite sandbox in the entire series. I love all the fake brands, I love the armadillo sculpture-trail, and I love the fact that there are proper strip-malls in a Saints Row game (mainly because strip-malls are an injoke between me and my brother).

The Boss might be canonically non-binary in the new timeline, which is very cool.

I am very dissapointed that - as far as I can tell - importing a Boss made in the Boss Factory doesn't carry over the outfit, only the character (although it did give me the opportunity to fiddle around with my Boss's fashion).

The existence of a Saints of Rage arcade machine in (at least) one part of the map, as well as an associated T-shirt, implies that Johnny exists as a fictional character in the new timeline.

Oh! Speaking of references to stuff that doesn't exist in the new timeline, the in-game Volition shop sells an Agents of Mayhem shirt, which I'm fairly sure is the first time I've seen someone acknowledge that game since it came out (not counting me buying it and playing some of it a year or two ago).

It is ridiculously easy to become OP.

It took me ages to realise that the MDI building is boot-shaped.

THEY DIDN'T DEPICT REPLACING THE CEO OF MDI AS A WHOLLY GOOD THING! THEY ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WHAT'S-HER-FACE ISN'T WILLING TO FULLY TRUST THE SAINTS JUST BECAUSE THEY HELPED HER BECOME CEO, AND THAT SHE PRIORITISES THE COMPANY OVER THESE FOUR RANDOM ZOOMERS!

I like how the Boot Hill mission is literally just Super-Ethical but less frustrating and with a better announcer.

The Cutting Edge materials are really disappointing. I was expecting them to work like normal colours but with a different visual effect, but they colour the entire thing you apply them to, so applying them to clothes looks really tacky.

I want a Collective helmet in real life.

The Hidden History stuff is really fun and I like that they're actually putting effort in to establish a consistent timeline, unlike the original one which was an absolute mess. Also the glove-guns are OP as hell, especially when you unlock the special attack for them.

I have more thoughts, but I can't really think of any right now, so I'll add them as an addendum when I've finished the final mission (and also the other one I have to do first).

[sincerelyasomebody]

Happy Go Lucky || Jose "Sad Eyes" Guzman

(GIF: @merakiaes)

A/N: Shoutout to @multiyfandomgirl40 and @firebenderwolf for making me do a taglist. I'm still in awe that people enjoy the fics I write. Be sure to check out their fics (or re-read them), you won't regret it! Grammatical errors are to be expected. Spanish Translations below, let me know if there are any errors. 

Characters/Pairing(s): Sad Eyes x Reader ☆ OCs (readers best friends)

Summary: Wine just brings out a different side of (Y/N). Not that her boyfriend is complaining. 

Warnings: fluff, language, references to smut, tipsy reader

Word Count: 1638

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

The Mean Girls credits rolled onto the screen, so (Y/N) tossed the remote to Kyra as she got up and walked into the kitchen. Opening up the fridge, she looked through the selection Maelyse had brought with her. Unsure of what to get, Joy popped up beside her and grabbed the Merlot. (Y/N) shrugged her shoulders and decided to grab the rest of the snacks instead. 

Tomorrow, the tight knit group of friends would officially have a wife among them. They were all excited for the big day, especially the bride to be Maelyse. The past few months had all of them busy. However, through it all, they all remained level-headed and it solidified Mae's choice in choosing them to be her bridesmaids. Instead of going to celebrate her last night of being a fiancé out in the city, Mae decided on having a quiet night in. 

Each of them had their own rooms within the suite, but chose to all camp out in the living room for the night.

"How are you feeling?" (Y/N) asked Mae as she placed the snacks on the coffee table that had been pushed to the side. 

She smiled, "great." 

Joy shook her head, "and to think you getting married is because Scott sent a text to the wrong number.

"I wouldn't say it was wrong," Mae flashed her engagement ring, "after all he ended up with the right woman."

(Y/N) and Joy both awed, while Kyra scoffed. 

"Okay, enough of the cheesiness, y'all know I'm lactose intolerant," everyone laughed at her, "let's give a toast for wrong numbers." 

"To wrong numbers!"

They all raised their wine glasses, clinked them together and took a drink. When (Y/N) placed her glass down, she noticed a notification pop up on her screen. With the quick flash she smiled down at her screensaver. A photo of her and Jose sitting on a mat with a picnic basket and a bouquet of daffodils beside them. (Y/N) leaning back into his embrace and Jose wrapping his arms around her. 

He had set his phone up to "capture the moment", he had told her. (Y/N) didn't really suspect anything of it considering she loved a good photo op. She remembered that day so clearly, as it was when Jose officially asked her to be his girlfriend. Bringing the bouquet of daffodils to symbolise the new beginning for both of them. 

Kyra noticed (Y/N) staring at her phone and nudged her shoulder playfully, "is somebody missing their novio?" 

"Shut up," she replied.

Mae laughed, "he's coming tomorrow, right?" 

(Y/N) nodded, "yeah, he'll be there." 

She was happy that Jose would join her. It would be the first event they'd be attending as a couple – Santos parties and dinners with her family didn't really count. Plus she was extremely excited to see him dressed up.

Joy smiled and grabbed some Doritos to munch on, "Nana Julie is gonna be disappointed when she finds out you're in a relationship. She's been trying to set you up with Carlos for years."

"Accepting the ring pop in front of her was the beginning of her attempts of getting the two of you together," Mae piped up. 

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, "we were seven." 

Kyra smirked, "my favourite part was when you found out he gave Vivian a ring pop the day before and told him you weren't a homewrecker," she laughed.

"That just showed how committed I was, even back then," she replied, "I kinda felt bad after I stuck the ring pop in his hair. He had to shave it all off 'cause Nana Julie ended up giving him a bald spot when she ripped it out." 

They continued to drink, eat and talk. Laughing at the memories they created with each other and cringing when they talked about their awkward teenage years. All of which they agreed they were happy they were no longer living through it.

On the other side of town, Jose was chilling in his apartment. He wasn't really doing anything, other than making sure his outfit for Mae's wedding was put away nicely. He had just come back from his mother's house 'cause he needed help ironing it. While she was ironing, she kept talking about how proud she was of him for finding (Y/N). He laughed when she began to hint at grandchildren. His response was if it happened, it happened. Although, he already knew that (Y/N) was the only woman he ever pictured having kids with. 

Closing his closet door, he moved from his bedroom into the hallway. His mind on (Y/N) and hoping she was having a blast with her girls. When he began dating her, her friends were a bit apprehensive due to his association with the Santos. However, when they realised he actually cared for (Y/N) they eased up. Now, whenever he saw them there wasn't any awkwardness. 

Before he reached the kitchen, he felt a vibration against his thigh. Confused, he pulled out his phone and saw (Y/N)'s contact name pop up. With a smile, he quickly answered, "Hola, querida." 

"Ooooh did you hear that girls? Did. You. Fucking. Hear. My. Man? I don't think you did. He spoke Spanish! Fuck he sounds so sexy –" was all Jose heard before a bunch of giggles muffled his girlfriend's voice. He couldn't help but chuckle, quickly figuring out that he was on speaker and (Y/N) was tipsy (if her slightly slurred rambling was anything to go by). A loud shushing noise was followed by more rambling, "– like… he's just so ‐‐ urg! He's a snack… no h-he's more than that he's breakfast… and lunch… and dinner. Yeah! Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Wait, no… uh, what's that place – buffet! He's. A. Fucking. Buffet! Yes, he is. And I'll gladly eat all day long." 

Jose smirked, "you're everything and more bebe." 

"Oh shit, I forgot I was on the phone," she giggled, "hey, baby! I love you!" She let out a heavy sigh, "I miss you! Can I see you? I wanna see you." 

Never being able to deny her of anything, he quickly ended their call and switched to FaceTime. He only waited for a few seconds before (Y/N)'s face popped up, practically covering the screen. Jose laughed as she grinned widely, before shuffling back allowing him to see her surrounded by her best friends. All of whom were wearing matching pink pajama sets, except for Maelyse whose set was white. They all waved, Jose nodding back at them. 

"Isn't he handsome?" (Y/N) glanced over her shoulder, "and he's mine." She sighed happily focusing back on the screen. "I love you!" 

He smiled, "I love you too, bebe." His eyes spotted some wine glasses in the background with snacks. "You seem to be having a great time." 

"The bestest time ever!" She cheered, the girls cheering alongside her. "We're getting wine drunk and eating all the snacks. But, I wanna see you," she pouted. 

"Don't make that face," he sighed, "you're seeing me now, bebe." 

"It's not the same… I want you here!" She huffed.

He raised an eyebrow, "(Y/N)." 

"Ooooh, you called me (Y/N)." Her eyes widened, "you must mean business," she giggled. "I like it when you say my name… especially when you're –" 

"Baby," this time his eyes widened.

The girls in the background fell over each other laughing, while (Y/N) looked at them confused. This made Joy laugh harder. Maelyse leaned over and whispered in her ear. (Y/N) bit her lip, causing Kyra to wrap her arms around her shoulders and scream about 'the baby not being as innocent as everyone thought'. Shaking her head, she turned back to the screen and shrugged her shoulders. 

"I meant when you're sleepy 'cause your voice gets even sexier," she explained, "but… yeah, when we're doing stuff too. I really like that part."

The way she said it so nonchalantly made Jose snort and shake his head. His girl was something else. The camera shifted to show off a pile of blankets and pillows, before revealing her nude painted toenails. He patiently waited until (Y/N)'s face came back on the screen and once it did, she was laying on a bed.

"I can't wait to see you all dressed up," she commented, "like – fuck, you're already the sexiest man. But… imagining you in a suit and tie is doing things to me." 

He smirked, "is that right?" 

Biting her lip, she nodded, "yeah… a whole lot of things," she glanced over her phone before back at the screen, "after the wedding is when the real fun starts." 

"I look forward to it." 

"You should 'cause I brought your favourite set with me, so I can wear it underneath my dress." 

"Baby, don't do that to me," he groaned.

"Sorry not sorry," she giggled.

They chatted a bit more until Mae called out for (Y/N) that it was time to say goodbye and get back to celebrating. At the same time Oso gestured towards Jose that he was needed. With a reluctant sigh from both of them, they smiled at each other. 

"Looks like we've both gotta go, querida," he told her, "but I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Do you need me to bring anything to the hotel?" 

"Can I have some (fast food) for breakfast?" 

He laughed, "of course baby, anything else?" 

She shook her head, "no that's it," she blew him a kiss, "I really gotta go now 'cause I can hear Mae calling my full name," she huffed, "I love you!"

"I love you too, baby." 

Once they hung up, they both had the same thought; morning couldn't come soon enough.

-♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ - 

Spanish Translation(s): 

Novio - boyfriend

Hola, querida - hello, honey

Bebe - baby

----------

On My Block Taglist:

@multiyfandomgirl40 // @firebenderwolf

If you'd like to be added, don't hesitate to message me!

[hottest-mf-that-has-ever-existed]

Chuuya-san.

Author's note: Please excuse any mischaracterization or inaccuracies as this is my first time ever writing fanfiction and I did it in 2 hours without breaks at 5 am.

Written from Akutagawa's pov, Chuuya's pronouns in this are he/they, Gin's - she/they. I hc that Aku is agender but you can read them however you'd like as it's written from 2nd person! All of the relationships are platonic but if you wish to interpret them differently feel free to do so! (except for Gin and Aku, they are siblings.) Dazai is only mentioned.

This is weirdly focused on Chuuya but I am a Chuuya simp so thats fine ❤

CW: some references to canon abuse

-

Chuuya Nakahara had a pretty small build for a person in their early 20's, they were only 5'3" tall to be exact, but he felt larger than life whenever they entered a room, air instantly buzzing with overwhelming energy that instantly made you feel excited or on edge for what's to come with his arrival depending on the situation.

You knew that Chuuya would never intentionally hurt anyone who is innocent and had nothing to do with the thing or situation that had pissed him off but sometimes it was truly terrifying, feeling the anger (and sometimes even grief after missions with tons of casualties, you never understood how can the executive mourn disposable people he didn't even know) rolling off of them in waves, consuming everything. It was the effect that they had on others. The mafia life taught to become emotionless in order to become stronger and better but Chuuya used his feelings as a deadly weapon instead.

You couldn't help but admire it even if you couldn't relate at all. Your own emotions always felt like they consumed you in a way you couldn't control which made you feel weak. It felt truly pitiful to be this way, to be overwhelmed by something as simple as that. You guessed Dazai never really got it out of you. The only thought you can form about this matter is that you are a lost cause. Pathetic. No matter how hard you try, never enough.

Chuuya wasn't like you. Chuuya was strong and kind to his subordinates to the best of his ability. You wished you could keep your temper in check. You wished you weren't so violent for no reason but you couldn't help it. Violence has seeped into your very soul and bones a long time ago, never leaving. You wished Higuchi would finally stop worshipping you for her own good. It made you feel uncomfortable, the way she reminded you of yourself while you still longed for Dazai's approval. They say that pain only makes you stronger but you only felt worse and worse after every bullet or kick that came.

Chuuya was far more kinder, you appreciated it even if you didn't really know how to accept it but tried you best. It's hard to accept nice things when you've never had them before. It makes the past more painful, when you realise how truly bad it was.

You and Gin knew that from first hand experience. It was hard to suddenly have a far better life. You both still mainly visited thrift stores to buy clothes for yourself as you did in the very beginning after joining Port Mafia because having this much money still seems unreal and going to expensive stores for yourself seemed scary even if you knew that it wouldn't impact your finances. Old habits die hard, you guess.

Chuuya liked to drag you both to high end stores though so you just buyed expensive gifts for each other because it felt easier, to give to them than to spend it for yourself. Chuuya always seemed a bit sad in the beginning when they realised that you hadn't bought anything for yourself but he didn't push it which you were thankful for. They still made sure to let you know that they immensely appreciated the gifts and the time you spent with them. It made you feel nice, knowing that you can make someone you care about somewhat happy. Chuuya bought gifts for both of you too as he had figured out you wouldn't get anything unless someone gifted it to you. Now it was a fun unspoken game between you all, noticing what the other was eyeing and then buying it. Or sometimes just noticing something the person would like, you all had gotten really good at guessing or knowing exactly what to get.

You often bought Chuuya expensive wine and pretty hats while Gin really liked flowy dresses and fun accessories. Gin in turn got you tea and beautiful, handmade tea sets that you couldn't get enough of even if you didn't get to use them much with how busy you were. Chuuya often travelled so they got you tons of interesting antique stuff from different places, you especially liked the calligraphy. He also has gotten you some of your favourite clothing pieces, they had an eye for that kind of stuff. Your most favourite was a black long dress that reached to your ankles. It made you feel really pretty whenever you twirled in it.

Seeing For the Tainted Sorrow in action was thrilling, it felt like your blood was singing at the raw display of power, the control with which Chuuya manipulated the gravity never ceased to amaze no matter how many times you worked with him on the same field or sometimes regrettably watched from the sidelines for whatever reason. Sometimes it was because you were too injured to go on, other times it was because Chuuya needed space to deal with it alone without hurting anyone from your side.

You hated being useless, always striving to prove yourself, whenever it be Dazai, Chuuya, the Port Mafia, yourself, or still Dazai even after he left. Thinking about it left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You tried to let go of your obsession multiple times over the years while he was gone from your life but he had left too much big of an impact to erase. You felt like you could never escape so you just stopped trying to fight it and are still fighting for his approval even if the weretiger said you had already gained it. You wished you could believe it but there was just too much pain, the wound never closing even after that single time Dazai did finally acknowledge you.

Gin despised him for what he'd done to you even if they tried to conceal it to the best her ability. Instead they tried to spend as much time with you as possible which was nice, you loved spending time with your sibling whenever it be "forcibly" shopping with Chuuya or just eating dinner at your house (sometimes also with Chuuya as they seemed to love worming himself into your lives. You didn't mind and hoped they knew that too as you weren't too good at showing it). You often wore the black dress Chuuya bought during dinners with him as they always seemed to look happy whenever you wore anything that they had gifted. Gin really liked the joy Chuuya brought in your home and you couldn't help but secretly agree. It kinda felt like you finally had your own little family even if you felt like you didn't deserve any of it.

Sometimes you all even hanged out with the Black Lizard at the headquarters during lunchbreak. They were a rowdy crowd but it was still pleasant to see people that cared about Gin and Chuuya. It made it feel like there maybe is something good in this cold, unforgiving world.

end.

[tobesensation-9]

‘When You Fall’ Pt. 1 (Youngbin x Reader)

Genre: Angst, Romance (Mentions of breaking up, heartbreak, grief, fluff) 

Synopsis: Inspired by Sam Kim’s song, You and Youngbin recollect memories of your past relationship after running into each other one year later. 

December 1st 

You thought you had set your alarm for 9:15am today. But when you rolled over and picked up your ringing phone from your nightstand and swiped to answer the call without thinking, you realised it was way passed 9:15am. 

“Y/N! Where are you!” Your mother yells over the phone.

You snap out of your grogginess and sit up in bed. You were supposed to meet with your mom to help her shop for Christmas gifts for your family at 9:45. You remove your phone from your face to look at the time and it’s 10:30. Oops.

“I’m sorry mom. I had a tiring day at work yesterday so I overslept. Go ahead and start without me, I’ll catch up with you. Just tell me what store you’re in when I get there.”

“Okay sweetie. Don’t have me waiting too long okay? I’ll treat you to some lunch when you get here too.”

“Okay. Thanks mom. See you soon.”

You’ve been feeling stagnant lately, like all your hard work hasn’t been recognized. You’ve been working super hard at work, work on a new PR project for a clothing store and it was eating you up. You also had to worry about all the gifts to get you family and try to make your siblings and nieces especially feel batter about the holidays this year with everything happening.

But there was something else that had you feeling a little down. Your phone buzzes at a news article notification your received and as you look to see you notice the date.

December 1st. It’s been a year already? Was it just ironic? A coincidence? No it couldn’t be.

You look up and talk to nothing in particular, referring to the universe, “You did that to remind to let go right?”

You give a small smile and shrug standing at your sink counter. You look at yourself in your mirror holding eye contact. Yeah, it’s definitely because of that. Because of him.

November 28th

You and your best friend are over your place for drinks after a hard week at work.

“And then he said, ‘Liv, can you go replace the paper in the copier for once. It doesn’t seem like you ever do that. It’s nice to try something new.’ How could be assume I never replace the printer with paper! He never asked hey, ‘Hey Liv did you leave the printer empty?”

Your friend crushes her third canned beer and reaches for another can. “Oh, we only have one more.”

You look up at the coffee table from the floor. “Oh yeah.” You were kinda tipsy yourself having crushed three beers yourself. “I’ll go and grab some more from the convienece store. I’ll be back.”

Your friend nods and grabs another piece of fried chicken to eat with her new can of beer. You threw on an over-sized sweatshirt not caring to change your pajama pants and some sneakers on with your hills hanging out. You didn’t even bother to but the shoes on all the way. Two minutes you walk into the store go straight back to grab two boxes of beer and look for any ramen and chips your could add to tonight’s menu. As you walk to turn into the aisle with ramen you bump into someone’s arm.

“Oh sorry.” You nod quickly without any regard to looking at their eyes and keep it moving.

“Um.... y/n?”

You stop in place, frozen. You turn around at the familiar voice.

“It’s you isn’t it?”

You look up at the figure talking to you. As you looked up and scanned the body, something about it was strangely familiar. Once you reached the half-covered face you knew exactly who it was. You didn’t even need to see the whole face, you knew who it was just by his eyes.

“Oh. Hey Youngbin.” Your greeting, you didn’t know if it sounded too excited or if it was too forced. You definitely didn’t want to sound unhappy, although happy wouldn’t be the word to use to describe how you felt seeing him after all this time. Your stomach performed somersaults as he giggled a bit and greeted you back. You could tell he was smiling, his eyes were crinkled in the corners, even with him wearing a face mask.

A genuine smile, you didn’t know how he could show you such a thing, after so long. Part of it still pained you, another part of you missed it. A lot.

“Have company?” He asks eyeing the boxes of beer you were holding.

“Yeah just me and Liv.” You try to ease yourself away to scan the ramen options. Then you remembered that your had sirloin at the house, so you decided to get the instant noodles packs for Chapaghetti.

“If you’re getting more things I’ll take this.” Before you can object, Youngbin already holds the two boxes of beer and motions you to go ahead and pick the ramens you were eyeing.

Once you pickup the packs of ramen and some bags of potato chips, you sit your items on the counter. When you do Youngbin sits his two items on the counter as well and tells the cashier that all of the items were his. “No you don’t have to I’m-”

“I know how you can get when you drink a little after working. You didn't bring cash did you?” 

You check your sweatshirt pocket and realise that you did leave the apartment without any cash. You looked down and felt your face getting hot. 

After he paid for everything he hands you the with your ramen and his two drinks as he holds the beers. “What are you doing?” 

He looks at, raising his eyebrows, “C’mon I’ll take this for you. You still live a couple minutes away right?” 

Your face was starting to feel hotter and hotter by the minute. “Y-yeah.” 

He starts walking in the direction of your apartment and you trail behind him, hesitantly. Why was he doing all this? You guys ended on such a sour note, well at least that’s how it felt. Did he not feel that way? 

Your thoughts questioned his actions more and more. You over-analysed so much to the point where you didn’t even realize you were at your apartment building until Youngbin said something. “Ahh..could you grab the door me?” You shake your head and realize that you were about to pass your own apartment building. You walk back mutter a “sorry” and pushed the door open for him. He giggles behind you to himself as you pressed your floor number not the elevator. 

The whole time the two of you walked, you hadn't uttered a word to each other. That was until he asked you a question the minute the two of you walked into the elevator and the doors shut. 

“That voicemail I sent you that one time,” your stomach immediately dropped at the subject. “Did you ever listen to it?” 

Maybe about a few months or so after the two of you separated he called you randomly one day and left a voicemail. You’ve always wanted to listen to it, but you were too scarred. You’d always hover your finger over the play button, a curious part of you wanting to listen to the two minute voicemail, the part that missed you. But the hurt part of you, the part of you that wanted to hold a grudge, wouldn't allow you to. 

“I...uh. I honestly count bring myself to listen to it.” 

You see him look over at you through your peripheral and he stars at you. You never look back over at him. He then gives a “hmm” and nods. You finally reach your floor and the two of you walk out to your door. As you pull out you enter your code on your door security system you here quietly say behind you , “Whenever you’re ready, just let me know.” At that you quickly push the door open, hand him his bag, take the beer and rush into the apartment. 

“Y/nnnnnn! What took you soooo longggg,” Liv whines as you put everything down and try to hurry up and hand her a beer before she notices Youngbin hovering in your doorway. “Yeah I know I'm sorry. Here.” But as you try to han her the can of beer from the box she turns around makes instant eye contact with Youngbin.

“Oh, wait y/n is that Youngbin? Youngbin?” 

She stumbles to get up and waves happily at Youngbin. He waves back and asks her how she’s been. 

“So are you guys back together? Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood, but you didnt have to keep it from me.” 

Before Youngbin could say anteing you immediately deny with a sharp “no” hand her, her beer and try to dismiss Youngbin. “Well he has to go now, I'm just gone send him off, say bye Liv.” 

“Byeeee come back soon. Y/n still misses you by the way, you still have a chance. I’ve always rooted for you!” 

You slam the door behind you, but he could already what she said. You see him smiling under his mask, just by looking at his eyes again. 

“I see Liv is still, Liv.” “Yeah..” The two of you stand in front of your door for the longest time not saying anything, before he says “Well, I should get back.” 

“Oh yeah, um.... thanks for the help.”

His eyes smile at you. He nods and turns around toward the elevator. A part of you wanted to ask what he meant by “let me know when you’re ready.” Before you could stop yourself you yelled his name and walked over to him.

“Yeah?”

You stop and stare at him studying what you could see of his face. “What did you mean?”

“By what?”

“When you mumbled let me know when you’re ready?”

He looks into your eyes and holds eye contact for a few seconds. By the time the elevator dings and the doors open he just says, “The voicemail will tell you.”

He steps into the elevator and turns to you and says, “Just let me know when you’re ready.” Then the doors close.

December 1st

You take a quick shower before getting ready and you jump in the car to finally meet your mom.

When you arrive at the shopping center, you call your mom to see what store she’s in. Not so ironically it was a store that you and Youngbin would go to all the time. One of his favorites.

You walked into the store and found yourself mom in the men’s clothing section of the store looking for clothes for your dad.

“Hey sweetie are you okay?”

“Yeah like I said just tired from work. Did dad want new clothes?”

She turns around to you with a jacket in hand to get your approval. 

“Do you know your father asked me to get him a jacket. I looked up pictures of jackets from different stores to show and he didn’t like any of them. Not long after that, I see him looking up jackets to bye. I had to scold him right then and there. It already hard to buy gifts for him and he just has to make it harder on me.” 

You just look at your mom, smile and shake your head, it sounds like something your father would do. 

“So what do you think about this one?” 

She holds a black windbreaker jacket, it seemed like it was perfect for your dad. “I thin he’d love it. It’s perfectly his style.” 

Walking around and shopping with you mom was a good escape from your memories of a few days ago. Along with all the memories of your passed relationship from almost two years ago now. 

You soon arrive at a cafe, find an area away from large groups of people and talk to your mom for a little bit. You order a latte and and a bacon grilled cheese sandwich. Your mom orders cranberry juice and a Caesar salad. She asks work, friends, and other things. Along with those things she mentions Youngbin, you guess she too realised its been a year since you broke up. 

“I um....actually saw him the other day.” The minute you say this your mother stars at you, her eyes glazed with sorrow. She knew how much the break up affected you, its not that she pitied you because she knew you were strong. But she looked to make sure you were okay. 

“Really? How?”

“I was drinking one night with Liv. Went to the convenience to get us some more beers and ran into him there. He helped me with my things and walked me home.” 

“He was always sweet. Thats one thing that will never change.” 

You nod. “You know that voicemail he left me, he asked me about it.” 

Her eyes get wide and she raises her eyebrows, “Really? You still haven't listened to it right?” 

“Yeah I haven't. When I told him that he just nodded and told me to let me know when I’m ready.” 

“What does that mean?” Your mom expressed the frustration that you felt inside, stabbing her fork into her salad and eating some lettuce and cucumber. 

“He just told me to listen to the voicemail and I’ll find out.” 

You hug your mom and kiss her on the cheek once you helped her take all the gifts to your parents house. You see your father in passing to and give him. hug and a kiss. You wanted to stay to talk to your dad but you weren't really in the mood. Talking about Youngbin again, made you feel a lot of things you couldn't explain. Sad, frustrated, angry, insecure. All the feelings you felt when you first broke up came rushing back to you. 

You came home and stripped yourself of your clothes immediately, walking to your bathroom and running water in the bath tub. You submerged yourself into the filling tub, and laid your head back against the cool tile. Suddenly a tear rolled down your cheek as you laid there, in the warmth of the tub. Normal crying was easy to let out, with sudden emotions, but pent up emotions, resulted in strained crying. Strained crying always had you slightly hyperventilating, with those repetitive gasps and a strained and pained throat. This was the type of cry you were going to have because of him, you knew it.

Pt. 2 Coming Soon!

[one-abuse-survivor]

hi, it's the milky way again

it's been a while since i've dropped something in your mailbox

i've now finished the school year and the grades and reports are coming in tomorrow or the day after. i'm kinda scared of them because i know they dropped a lot since last year but i'm pretty sure i passed most if not all of my courses so i think it'll be fine.

i started working a summer job a week ago and i'll be working the next week too. it's mostly because i need the money so i can replace my broken phone but also because we had to do some kind of job/workplace experience thing because of our school (that was voluntary though because of covid). the job pays really well so i might also get a new binder with the money since the one i have now is falling apart. on the other hand, working 8 hours a day for five days straight has really taken all of my energy and i can't listen to music while working which makes it a lot harder. the last week i've mostly been coming home in the evening, maybe eating something and going straight to bed.

(also i got my period last thursday and i hate hate hate it so much it makes everything so much worse even without the dysphoria it's just so messy and annoying to deal with)

a week ago i finally jumped over my shadow and talked to my mom but it was a huge disappointment. i'm pretty sure i couldn't get my point across in a way she'd understand and she kinda just admitted not being able to help after saying a bunch of things that really hurt. i removed myself from the situation by "going to bed" aka going to my room, locking my door and crying myself to sleep. i was just really pissed off and talking to her was kinda my last resort for when i realized i couldn't help myself anymore.

anyway, the day after that was monday (when i started working) and me, running on barely any sleep because the night before was a disaster, had to somehow survive work and i'm pretty sure i ignored or snapped at a lot of people that day which i feel kinda bad for.

on wednesday after work i talked to my mom again because i was pissed off and couldn't let it sit. she said the same kind of bs she had used on sunday and we got nowhere, since then i've probably been a lot less friendly to her but i'm just not ready to give up so much energy for her.

her favorite arguments we're things like "but others have it a lot worse" (which is a mindset i've worked on getting away from for quite a while) (also my mom was referring only to my grades with this but little does she know that the only reason why my grades aren't dropping that badly is because no matter how bad i got mentally, i yeeted stuff like self-care before school because school had always been structured and mostly clear while life in general was just. not.)

other arguments she used were "just get off your phone and set a timer for 45 minutes and concentrate on what you wanna get done" and "just pull yourself together, it's not that hard" (those were about me saying that i struggle with starting tasks and getting shit done)

lastly she also said that my expectations are just way too high and that if i didn't expect only the best from myself (this was about grades too) i wouldn't get so disappointed if i didn't get that great grade i was hoping for. and like, she's not wrong but if you've only ever been good at one thing in your entire life and you were really good at it, then you'd just expect nothing but the best from yourself because you know reaching that isn't impossible.

and she ended it with "what do you expect me to do?" and "i can't help you" and i realized later that i just should've said that she should help me get someone that *can* help me, like a therapist or something.

anyway, i'm proud of myself for finding a summer job and finally talking to my mom and not so proud of my grades and the fact that i can't seem to get the point across to my mom

thank you for creating this safe space for people like us, i wish you a happier time than the one i'm having :')

milky way here :|

got the reports and grades and stuff yesterday and i'm just :| about it. like, yea i know i'm still somewhere at the top of the class and that i'm more than one and a half grades better than some others in my class but i'm still upset about my grade in maths for example but my parents laughed/chuckled at me when i was upset and that really hurt

and afterwards my mom said something along the lines of "yes you're allowed to be stressed but because of your good grades you don't have the right to complain about being stressed" which is absolute bs and i still don't understand how having good grades disqualifies one from complaining and i'm sure as hell not gonna ask her

i just wanna scream in her face but i'm pretty sure she'd slap me if i did that

i'm almost done with my summer job and since monday noon i had the chance to work in a different part of the factory which is a lot less uncomfy to be in because it has AC and since it's not in the lab itself, i don't have to wear a hair net, an overall, steel-toed boots and rubber gloves.

today i set myself a few goals for the summer break and for the next school year and i really hope i can get through with those because it'd make future-me extremely happy

have a great great time :D

and PS: since tumblr has been eating a lot of notifs lately i missed a lot of your posts and i tried filtering by the milky way anon tag but only one post showed up. i'm not sure what's up with that tho

Hi again! Don’t worry, I got you. Here’s a link to all the asks you’ve sent up to this point: first, second, third. All of them are tagged, but the tumblr search engine isn’t exactly known for its accuracy. I use the tumblr original post finder site for this stuff, but I just realised by looking for your asks that the site takes capital letters into account, so the ones that were tagged with a capital M in Milky weren’t showing. They all do show now that I changed the M to lowercase. So I’ll have to try to be more consistent with that from now on 😅

On to your asks. First off, congrats on finishing your course! And I really hope you can replace your phone and your binder :D sorry about getting your period, though, that really sucks :(

I think the conversation with your mom that Sunday is the one discussed on the third ask I linked. I'm really sorry the same thing happened on Wednesday. It's not your fault you can't get across to her—she's the one who should be open to helping you and offering possible (actual) solutions to the problems you're bringing up to her, and not you who should spell out every single thing she can do to help you. You're not being unclear to her—she's being obtuse and refusing to listen.

You're not meant to know how to just "pull yourself together", and you're absolutely right that your grades not dropping all the way doesn't mean you're not struggling, and you still deserve help so you don't have to jeopardise your mental health for your grades. And while she's right you don't deserve to be so hard on yourself or to expect perfection from yourself, that's also something that you deserve professional help with. Again, you're not meant to know how to just turn off those emotions and thought processes.

*hugs* sorry your math grade wasn't as high as you'd hoped. It's okay to be upset and disappointed by that, and I'm so sorry they laughed at you. You do have every right to express your emotions, and you're not being unfair to anyone else for being unhappy with your own grades. I often feel the same! I get really good grades (as I think I've already said), and I also often feel disappointed when a grade isn't as high as I'd hoped. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. I'm really glad you know what your mom says is bs, because it really is. It's no wonder you feel like screaming in her face—she sounds incredibly frustrating, exhausting and invalidating to deal with. You deserve so much better than this 😔

I'm so glad you're proud of yourself! I'm really proud of you too for everything you've accomplished despite her being so unhelpful and invalidating, and I really hope you're enjoying the rest of your summer holidays and you can reach your goals! And if the occasion arises and you do end up using the "you can help me find someone who can help me" line, I hope it goes better. But if not, again, please know this is an issue of her refusing to listen, and not of you being unclear about what you need.

Sending a huge virtual hug ❤️

[luvdsc]

Hey Cat!! I hope you're doing well as always ! 💖 AHHHH huhu I closed the form last Sunday since I've collected enough responses dy! (NOOOOOOOO ToT) I got a total of 221 responses at the end of the week, which is 3x the amount I initially needed! :o I'm beyond grateful and appreciative ToT I've cleaned the data and have proceeded to run some data analysis, but I ran into an issue whereby the scores on the subscales are equal (it has never been reported in past studies! :O) so I'm waiting for my supervisor's feedback on how to proceed. Hopefully it's nothing too serious ToT

Hehe finance is interesting indeed! I just started reading a book on finance for young adults (Rich Dad Poor Dad) and I look forward to learning more from the author's tips! The Coursera introductory course has also made financial terms a lil more familiar, even though it's just the basics and it's really helped w my financial literacy 🥺 I can push myself to study but it's also the numbers and calculations I'm worried of cuz I am rly a nong (idiot) when it comes to numbers * - * it runs in the genes I guess AHAHAHAHA my mom and sister aren't good at numbers either keke

Aww I'm glad yr professor made financial accounting enjoyable and a fruitful experience for you! Some lecturers / professors rly just have that spark in them to inspire ppl and I'm blessed to be surrounded by a bunch of em in the psych department!🥺😭 it truly makes a difference and I'm sure we both are living proofs of that!

After debating for a while, I've decided not to take a minor mainly because I'm so tired HAHAHAHAHAHA and I'll just do my own self-studying and exploration whilst working! Go out and explore the world, live life! Whilst ironically still staying in my room because of the COVID-19 situation in our country (cases are abt 20+k every day :') ) My proposal has been finalized and it's been accepted! It's just that some elements of my proposal is also part of my actual report, so I have some guidance to refer to in terms of structure! :3 and yes don't worry! I got plenty (sometimes a lil too much) rest during the sem break whilst remaining productive! Plus, I got to catch up w some friends and had game nights (maybe too much of game nights hehe) and movie nights w my friends which was truly refreshing! Also cuz I might not see a lot of them again after we graduate so we gotta cherish every moment 🥺😭

I'm a freelance graphic designer for my uni's newsletter! Occasionally, they'd ask us to create both the content and design! I'll place the link to my recent work below if you wanna check it out! UwU I'm trying to incorporate the same practices during sem break in my last sem (current sem) too! cuz yes mental health is so so important and I'm just tired of being academically tired you get me? :(

What makes me most trilled abt learning abt psychology is how to apply it in daily life too! I find it so fascinating and awestruck at how relatable and within reach these things are like wow we can be influenced in such ways?? :o can be both good and bad but imma stick w seeing it as the development and evolution of us humans UwU

Also, the vaccine has fixed my sleep schedule HEHE (another perk of getting vaccination :3) I got some rly good rest and managed to reset my usual sleeping time, thank you science ToT oooo I see I see, we've had cases of nurses injecting empty syringes hence the recording :( but GHIOGHWEOGIOHW I could never do that, I can feel the liquid entering me as it is so that's good enough ToT (* plays Love Talk * I can feel it coming)

OMG YOUR ART PIECES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE AND ELEGANT! 💖🥺🥰 it must've required a lot of hard-work and effort AHHH thankiew for showing me yr work!! it's truly unique in its own manner despite it's simplicity UwU is there a reason or backstory to yr chosen theme and objects? :3

I just Googled Somi Somi and omg that's such an UwU ice cream AHHHH 💖🥺😭 ice cream is my fav food of all time and it looks like an ice cream haven omg imagine eating it after a loooong hard day's of work ToT and OMG THE SATISFACTION OF EATING THAI MILK TEA ICE CREAM ON A HOT DAY YASSS 😋🤤 hehe if you get the chance to try milk & biscoff, do try it! It's amazing !😍 and ooo i haven't tried alcoholic ice cream before but I will one day!! :3 my alcohol tolerance is rly low though, will I get tipsy over alcoholic ice cream? We shall see UwU (i can only drink half a bottle of apple cider before my face gets red and I start getting a lil tipsy + headache)

and lovie....knowing yr school schedule now...OURS IS DEFINTELY BRUTAL OMG a 3 month long sem break huhu that's only the total amount of sem breaks we get in a year ToT i thought uni was hard but not that hard ToT

Always glad and honored to have you onboard! and AHAHAHAH the contractions about to start soon 👀 I enjoy talking to you huhu you're such a sweet and supportive person 💖🥺🥰😙 huhu for my period cramps, I've been having them since I was 12 ToT my doctor prescribed me some panadols but sometimes I can't even swallow them cuz I'd puke them out ToT I've settled w heatpacks to reduce my reliance on medicine, but I finally got some upgraded and safe to eat medicine from my gynae! She said it's fine to take it every month to keep my womb healthy and apparently my ms. lil uterus is suffering from inflammation, hence the super crazy bedridden cramps :( the upgraded medicine worked for a while, but after time it kinda didn't help either :/ but I realised that exercise rly does wonders to reduce the cramp too (gynae also recommended exercising) so i take walks and do my back stretches more frequently now! my period in the previous months (2 months ago) have been almost painless and bearable, it's so weird not seeing my bedridden ._. when I was in high school, there would always be a day in every month in which I don't attend classes, and that's solely because of my cramps. It just isn't worth suffering in school, plus we don't have a sick room :/ I hope the pain continues to subside! ToT

And ayy internship is also working experience, yr advice would be of great help to me regardless! 🥺 oh yes, I always remind myself that interviews are similar to the speaking test I took for my Cambridge English exams! That kinda help calm my nerves down a lil, but w nerves comes bigger smiles, so I guess it takes on a rather practical form of coping mechanism (sublimation) AHAHAHAHA

WAAAA WHAT A QUEEN you got an offer from every interview?? I aspire to be like you! 💖🥺🥰 huhu skill wise I believe I have lots to prepare esp in terms of case studies, and I perform rly poorly on certain assessments (*ehem * esp those concerning numbers) so I took the chance to study a lil during sem break too ToT but noted on that! I will work on that too and try to maintain that me element in interviews and overall just be myself keke

That's all from me for now! Imma wait for my supervisor's feedback and journey on w my last semester. Bon voyage! Link to my recent work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTBqGzjr6sN/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Other works: https://www.instagram.com/p/CPpv-IyM7Gi/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link https://www.instagram.com/p/CL55EG-MbL2/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

hi hello honey bee !!! 💓 omg i'm so sorry for the belated response, i finally got on my laptop 😭 i'm gonna put my response under the cut since it got a little long 🤧

omg 221 responses !!!!! that's so many 🙀 congratulations aaaaa it's amazing that you were able to get 3x the data you needed !!! was it difficult to run data analysis? were you able to solve the issue with the equal scores on the subscales? i hope it didn't create too much additional work for you ):

omg yes finance is really interesting! i enjoyed the classes i took for it :') how is rich dad poor dad? did you learn a lot from it? i know it was a book my prof recommended, but i never got around to reading it 😶 did you learn any helpful tips? and ooo i'll have to look into coursera! yeah, there's quite a lot of terms for finance, and it can be a little intimidating paired with all the math formulas and such, but it's pretty useful imo! how are your financial studies going so far? 💕 omg nong is such a cute word?? i would never think it meant idiot asdkfhlkajsdf omg my whole family is good at numbers and really like math, but i didn't like it 😭 my mom made me study it a lot everyday though rip are the financial calculations getting easier for you as you practice more hopefully?

yessss omg i absolutely agree with this!!!! like you can just feel when a professor loves to teach and is genuinely so excited to talk about their subject, and it just makes the most boring horrible subject into something you learn to enjoy and hate less :') and i'm really happy to hear you have tons of professors like that in the psych department 🥺💗

that's great to hear!!!! 🌷🌷 i'm glad that you're prioritizing yourself and your health, which is so much more important than taking on a minor. what fun subjects have you decided to explore and self study so far? 💞 oh my gosh, the rising cases are so high?? i hope it's gotten better there for you ): are you able to go outside yet?

big congratulations on your proposal being finalized and accepted, lovebug !!!! 🥳🥳 i'm very proud of you and hoping one day i can read your published studies in a scientific journal :') aaaa i'm so glad to hear that you got to rest and enjoy your time with your friends!! i definitely feel that omg i regret all the times i skipped out on movie nights or game nights with my friends because now we're all scattered across the country and the only way we can have them again is over zoom calls 🤧

I SAW YOUR DESIGNS AND THEY'RE GORGEOUS OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH !!!! 💖 I'M IN AWE AAAA IF PSYCH DOESN'T WORK OUT, I HOPE YOU BECOME A GRAPHIC DESIGNER 🤩🤩💖 and yes i totally get it ): i really felt the academic burn out when i was in college and it was really difficult at times 🤧 but i hope it's going better for you nowadays, sweetpea 💝💝

omg yeah i absolutely agree !!!! whenever i read about psychology, i keep it in the back of my mind and then when i see something irl that relates to it, i'm like :O amazing. it's so cool to learn about different psych tricks too and see how it works when you test them out yourself and whatnot. and it's really crazy to see how the human brain is so easily influenced at times ??? it truly is an amazing subject !!!

ah what a great side benefit of the vaccine - a better sleep schedule 🤩 i'm happy to hear that your schedule has been fixed 💘 and omg what ??? they're injecting empty syringes wth ????? 😭 that's absolutely horrible, are they getting sued?? lmaooooo that love talk reference askdfhlaksjd

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND COMPLIMENTS 😭😭💗💗 there were many late hours spent in the art studio to finish them, but i'm really happy with the end products :') i thought light bulbs are an interesting subject to do, and my prof said that cutting out circular objects or sculpting them is the most difficult since they're made up curves and not straight lines and i was like ok bet i'm gonna do it aND I'M SO GLAD I DID BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THEM 🥺 and i love honey bees !!! that's why i decided to paint them and we were supposed to paint them in a combined style of two artists so i tried monet's impressionist style with the short brush strokes and pop art triptych style like marjorie strider 💕

somi somi is sooo good and i just had it again a couple weeks ago :') omg ice cream is your favorite food? :o and YES ice cream is so satisfying after a long day of hard work, like it's such a nice reward to look forward to at the end of day ✨ aaaaa i have to try thai milk tea ice cream one day now !!!!! it sounds amazing 🤩 and YES i must look for places that sell milk & biscoff ice cream !! i have milk ice cream from somi somi, but i need to try to combined flavors 💘 i don't think you'll get tipsy over it !!! it's a really faint taste of alcohol, like i didn't even notice it at first, and i don't think they put very much of it in there! aksljdfhals omg you're a lightweight :o at least that means you save money on alcohol LOL i need like nine shots to get drunk 🤧

your school is too hard 😭 you need more than just 3 months of break !!! 😡 we get a week off for thanksgiving in fall semester and a week off for spring break in spring semester too and then the month long winter break and three month summer break. and we have the one day holidays off too like labor day, memorial day, etc. i can't believe they give you so little time off after working so hard???

asdfhlkajshdlksja loool are the contractions over yet? has it been born? what's the current status, doctor? 👀 i really enjoy talking to you too !!! i'm very sorry for the late responses, work is really taking over all of my time, and i never have enough time to get on my laptop to reply to my asks 😭 and thank you for saying such kind things about me 🥺🥺💝 oh my gosh, i'm so sorry to hear that you have such terrible cramps 😭 i can't even imagine going through that - mine are nowhere near as horrible 😖 do the heatpads help a lot? i'm relieved to hear that you were prescribed better medication though! but yeah, your body does eventually get used to the medication and you have to continue taking stronger meds for it to work, but that's not a very healthy solution /: but i'm really glad to hear that exercise has been helping out a lot!! 💖 hurray for almost painless and bearable periods 🥳 i'm sorry to hear that you had to go through that in high school ): that sounds absolutely horrible 😭 periods are just awful, but it's like i'm grateful that i have my period because that means i'm not pregnant, but also please go away aslkhdfaklsj

omg what was the speaking test for the cambridge english exams like? :o it sounds so formal and a lil intimidating askdjfhalsd do you know of any psych tricks that can possibly help calm your nerves? :')

aaaa yes i did !! i was really surprised that i got an offer from them all because at the time, i was not in the right major and i think i was one of the most underqualified applicants 🤧 one person who interviewed me asked why i withdrew from my engr physics class and i explained it in a kinda funny way but in my head, i was like "oof i'm not gonna get this offer anymore" but then he laughed at my response and told me about how his prof told him he should drop a guitar class he was taking because he was doing very poorly and we bonded over that aklsjdhfkals omg how do interviews for psych jobs go? do you have to discuss a lot of case studies? do they give you a list of possible case studies they'll ask about? :o what sort of assessments do you have to do? good luck on all of your interviews, honey bee 💛 i'm rooting for you, you're gonna do amazing !!!! 💘

omg what did your supervisor say about your case study? and how is your last semester going? are you almost done now? 🌸 (also how have you been? what have you been up to? thank you for taking the time to leave such detailed messages for me, i'm really excited to see all the fun updates in your life, lovebug 🌷🌷)

[justanotherlifeff]

My type of love

Warnings: Reader has yandereish tendencies, mentions of stalking, depressed reader with suicidal tendencies

Before you found your way into the villain league, you wanted to die. Honestly, what good came out of living anyway? You were always a quiet person ever since you were a child, always on the sidelines. Back in middle school, you were that girl who always sat at the corner at the class without being noticed by anyone. You were that one weirdo that no one wanted to talk to. Your parents weren’t bad. Infact, they were quite good. Atleast you thought your family was perfect at that time. Your mother and father seemed to love you. Sure, you were an only child and you were lonely both at home and school but it was all okay. You were happy. That was until your quirk showed up. Your quirk allowed you to give bad luck to anyone you touched with five fingers of your hand. Infact, their luck would be so bad that they would die somehow in the next one hour. You were already the weirdo at school and now, no one wanted to be around you. Saying that you were careful would be an understatement. You didn’t want to hurt others and you separated yourself from society, from your parents. A part of you thought that atleast your parents would try to get back to being involved in your life but that never happened. After all, your quirk killed a few of your classmates when it appeared. However, your desire to keep everyone out of your life came to an end when you fell in love with a guy. You were in Junior high and he was a transfer student. He didn’t judge you and the two of you started dating. That was until you found yourself checking his chat history when he left his phone with you to go to the washroom on a certain date. You knew you were violating his privacy but you just couldn’t help it. Your parents were completely disconnected with your life because of your quirk and you had doubts about why your boyfriend would be any different. Turns out that you were right. He was cheating on you. That one time lead to your downward spiral towards extreme trust issues and insecurities. You had seven breakups in a span of three years. At the end, when you finally turned 18 and your recent ex left you because you couldn’t bring yourself to trust him, you had enough. You believed that your quirk made you unlucky, you believed you weren’t good enough for anyone. Your ex told you that the way you love people was toxic and that was one thing that you didn't believe. Why was it wrong to know exactly where your loved one is at all time? Why was it wrong to know who he's talking to and what he's talking about? Why was it wrong to keep a control on who gets to be his friends and who doesn’t? You never had friends and gave him all your time so why couldn’t he do the same for you? You did all that because you cared so why didn't he understand you?

When he left you, you ran away from home. You were done. You knew that this life wouldn’t give you anything. You just wanted to die in the streets. That's when you came across a 16 year old girl named Himiko Toga on the streets. She was a vigilante and was on the run and let's just say, you touched the police that were chasing her and they died in a car crash immediately. Toga was 2 years younger than you are (you're 18) but she seemed to find the way you love normal. She had an abnormal way of loving people as well. "I don't think it's wrong of you to know everything about your lover, (Y/N)! You're just so cute! I didn’t think I'll ever find someone like me! We can be besties! You know, I like killing people I love!" Toga exclaimed to you. That's when you made your first friend. You were sure that you would stay away from love in fear of rejection or being left until you were taken into the league of villains with your best friend. The burning crimson eyes of the boss caught your attention on the first day. You couldn't help but admire his low drawling voice that was tired of the world because you could relate.

You were always used to being on the sidelines, away from attention but Shigaraki wouldn’t have it. He had an interest in your quirk as it meant like him, you couldn't touch anything with all five fingers. He understood how hard your life must've been and he decided to be kinder to you than the others since you were relatable. He didn’t know what that was doing to your feelings. You were on a high, you couldn't explain how happy it made you. You didn't have the courage to confess to Shigaraki but you knew you'd die for him. You were absolutely smitten and like usual, that wasn’t going to end up well. If Shigaraki thought he had privacy, he was wrong. You made sure that you knew everything about him. You checked his phone when he was busy with games, you had figured out all his passwords of any social media account he had, you followed him everywhere he went to (mostly without him knowing), you even had pictures of him sleeping when you sneaked into his room to get some. Honestly, it was all going well till he decided to recruit another female villain. One who decided that it would be a good idea to hit on Shigaraki.

While Shigaraki did give you more preference over the other members of the villain league, you were always this quiet girl who minded her own business. Honestly, he was intrigued at the begining because you barely shared anything about yourself, almost like you had a double life. He made sure that you weren’t a spy from the heroes by doing some digging but your extreme quietness was something he found odd, specially for someone who was friends with Toga. However, that personality seemed to change drastically when he recruited the villain Killer Queen (Yes, it's a Jojo reference). Shigaraki knew that Killer Queen clearly had a thing for him and while he clearly wasn’t interested in her, he sure was interested in the sudden change of attitude that came over you. Suddenly, you were like a feral cat, ready to pounce on her. You tried to convince Shigaraki to kick her out way too many times and you always threw passive agressive insults and death threats at her. Shigaraki never saw you throw a death threat before and he had to admit it was kinda hot.

The ship had sailed when Killer Queen thought it was a brilliant idea to kiss Shigaraki on the cheek out of nowhere. Infact, even Shigaraki was surprised and disgusted by that. Without a warning, you held her hand, looking at her with a sadistic grin. She was confused at first before realising that all your fingers were touching her. The realisation gave her a heart attack. As the woman laid dead before you and Shigaraki as the two of you were in the bar, Shigaraki looked at you, raising an eyebrow which made you realise that your feelings for him or atleast, your jealousy was obvious. "I couldn't take that... I love you and I hate it when anyone thinks they can take away who I love. I've.... I've let a lot of people walk away from me and I felt guilty about not being good enough but it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not going to let anyone else have you even if you don't want me. I know it's wrong but I can't help it." you muttered, looking away from Shigaraki as tears escaped your eyes. "Who said anything about it being wrong? I just saw a badass girl who has the right to be the player 2 of my life cause she just killed a bitch over me. You're fucking cool and honestly, the way you tried to keep her away was hot." Shigaraki answered with a grin making you look at him, completely shocked.

"You... You don't hate me for killing a member of the league? You don't think the way I love people is wrong?" you stammered, looking at him, awestruck. "Tch... Why the fuck do you think I'm a villain? These normal people, they put labels on things that shouldn’t have labels. You fucking get to love someone in any way you want and no one gets to judge that. They need to suck it up instead of using it as an excuse to run from relationships. Plus, I'm kinda similar. Honestly, I love all the pictures you took of me sleeping. I dunno how you can make even me look good..." Shigaraki answered, making you almost choke on your spit. "You know about the pictures?" you asked with wide eyes. "Yeah. I also know that you check my social media and my phone and that you follow me around everywhere. Seriously, why the fuck do you think I'm the boss of this stupid league?" Shigaraki scoffed as you looked away bashfully. Someone finally understood you... "Do... Do you check my stuff too?" you asked shyly. "Can't say I don't. It's fun to see you obsessing over me." Shigaraki gave you a smug grin. "So... Are we like... dating now?" you asked, twiddling your fingers. "I suppose we are..." Shigaraki answered before pulling you into a kiss, the dead body forgotten.

[bunnyreading]

I picked this book up as I was wandering aimlessly through Waterstones with no set idea of a book to buy. I sometimes like picking books up with no expectation and seeing where it goes. As I picked it up I realised my siblings had read his first book.

So this book is really stylised it's like an 80s movie about two girls who are best friends and one of them gets possessed by a demon, and it's about the fight to get the demon out of her.

I was underwhelmed by this book massively. The structure of the book irritated me, there were a lot of jumps back and forward in time, all of the drama points were kind of skipped over, there were cliffhangers at the end of chapters like "Look out for Halloween, the devil is most powerful at Halloween" and then it skipped to Monday AFTER Halloween, and even then you find out the devil just got 1 football player drunk and that was it. Like the devil didnt even kill anyone, so it wasn't even that impressive.

The finale was really quick and a bit abrupt, and I didn't really care about any of the 80s references it was throwing down, I guess you sort of had to be there for it to have more charm.

I did feel this book was kind of queerbaity as well. It set up Abby and Gretchen as best friends who always touched and held hands despite people calling them lesbians, and then at the climax Abby said she did love Gretchen queerly and then....they get married to different people? And then when Abby gets divorced Gretchen moves in with her but still nothing was confirmed and I was kinda ? Confused by that. It's 2020 start confirming your gays.

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