#I don’t care about anyone else

[lucienarcheron]

So I finished Fourth Wing…and I am deeply upset about a particular thing that happens in the end that I don’t think I’ll recover from.

[monsterfucker-mcgee]

Y’all should consider yourself lucky that I’m not a salty bitch (except that I am) and that I’m not roasting everybody’s Eurovision performances on tumblr

Give me Germany or Finland or Norway or give me NOTHING

[theminecraftbee]

at some point I should make a post of free ideas up for adoption. things that went through the ideas processor, I considered writing, I would write if I could get the gears going again, and that maybe someday someone else might want to write. if nothing else it may be interesting for other people to see some fraction of the Ideas Graveyard for a sense of how the brain goes here, how much stuff my brain cycles through, how much stuff eventually gets super processed into other ideas, how much stuff turns into tumblr ficlets I never continue, and how much stuff I just never figure out how to do anything with. because it’s a surprisingly large number I think,

[artiststarme]

The Party Forgets Steve's Birthday

Thank you for the prompt @nburkhardt ! I hope it meets your expectations!

Now with a Part 2!

~*~*~*~

Steve was used to being forgotten. His parents regularly left for months at a time without regarding him at all, his old friends at school had only ever seemed to remember him when they wanted to use his house to throw a party, and his own girlfriend conveniently forgot about him when she chose to sleep with the guy that gave him his first concussion. He was well past being surprised when people neglected to think about him. 

So he really shouldn’t have been surprised when everyone forgot his birthday. 

He woke up the morning of his twentieth birthday to an empty house and an even emptier heart. Just like every other day, his parents were off on a business trip ignoring his existence. They hadn’t even left him a message congratulating him on making it to twenty, a feat Steve never thought he would accomplish. The mailbox was just as empty as it always was and it was like Steve didn’t exist to his parents at all. He didn’t know why he expected anything different. He’d been ignored, cast aside by them, his entire life and he still had the gall to expect things to change. 

Steve had a shift at Family Video at 4 until close so he had to change out of his pajamas eventually. But right up until the moment he had to leave, he sulked from the comfortable nest of blankets on his couch. He grieved the loss of love from his parents that, looking back, may have never existed in the first place. 

He also waited for his friends to call. Eddie, Robin, Nancy, or Jonathan had to know it was his birthday today. He’d told them enough times and Robin had called him a “troublesome Taurus” at least once. The older teens may not have enough excitement over just another birthday to come over to his house but surely they would call. But as time marched on, his phone sat silent despite his staring at it. 

Well, he was seeing Robin at work so she was probably just waiting to tell him in person. And maybe the others were throwing a surprise party for him. The Party threw a birthday party for each one of the members on their special day so maybe it was Steve’s turn this year to be introduced to the tradition. After the horrific Spring Break from hell, he thinks he deserved it. 

While the Party was fine now, this encounter with the Upside Down had been their worst yet. Max was in a coma for two weeks before she woke up but the repercussions of Vecna’s mind-melt were permanent. She was now blind and she still hadn’t managed to leave her wheelchair over a month later. 

Eddie was ambushed by demobats and ripped apart even though his job was supposed to be the decoy that was out of danger. Steve had to give him CPR to restart his heart through the shock then had to sprint with him out of the Upside Down and into the nearest car in the Rightside Up, a car that he had to hotwire with Eddie’s minimal guidance. Then they had to clear his name with the police and townspeople that wanted nothing more than the outcast to go down for a crime he didn’t commit. 

And Steve. While his injuries were less severe than the others, his skin would always show the scars from the demobats. His neck was still blemished and his abdomen was sunken where the bats tried to use him as a meal. Mentally, his self-confidence was gone and he had nightmares every night about the feel of the teeth tearing through his flesh. He almost didn’t make it out of there this time which made this birthday all the more special. 

When he walked into the video store for his shift, all of the kids and Eddie were there. Steve had the brief thought that they were probably putting their final touches on the surprise party but that passed quickly once they turned to look at him. 

“Oh look, your esteemed babysitter is here which means he can deal with you. Now, if you don’t mind I’m going to go hang out with other grownups instead of sticking around with you children. Bye now!” Robin told them dramatically, waggling her fingers in their faces. She turned to Steve, “hey Dingus, your children have been trying to rent a rated R film for the past twenty minutes. You deal with that while I go on my date with Vickie. Toodles!”

Steve didn’t even have time to say anything in response before she made her way to the back to clock out and left his sight. He was still watching where she used to be when he heard a throat clear. It was fucking Dustin, of course it was. The little bastard had a smug smirk on his face and wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Gross dude, no. I keep telling you that it's not like that with Robin and I. Get your head out of the gutter,” Steve told him, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

“We can see how you look at her! It’s not rocket science, Steve. Just ask out the pretty girl already and stop being a lonely loser,” Dustin told him in a sarcastic tone. The other kids nodded while Eddie left to awkwardly look through the horror aisle full of movies he’d already seen. That fucker knew Robin was a lesbian and was just leaving him to suffer through this alone, on his birthday no less. 

“Look, I’m not talking about this today and I’m not renting you a tape that’s rated R. Is that all you’re here for?” Maybe this was a ruse and they were going to shower him with birthday wishes. 

“Oh come on! Eddie can rent it for us under his name!” Dustin whined. 

“I said no.”

"But-" Dustin started.

“Whatever, let’s go guys. Steve’s just being an asshole today,” Lucas said from his spot near the door. 

Will tucked his head down instead of acknowledging the asshole comment but still agreed, “we can go to the arcade!”

“Steve’s an asshole everyday. Today he’s just being unhelpful. If we wanted someone useless, we should’ve asked my dad,” Mike sneered at him. 

Being compared to Ted Wheeler was too much for Steve and the brats were starting to give him a headache. “Whatever dipshits, get out of my store. Go bother someone that cares. Bye!”

With some angry mumbles and grumbles, they shuffled out and made their way to the arcade (or so Steve assumes). Eddie poked his head out from the horror aisle then and upon seeing the coast was clear, hopped up to situate himself on the counter. “You having a bad day then?”

Steve sighed, “yeah you could say that. They were starting to give me a headache.”

Eddie hummed and poked Steve’s leg with his toe. “What’s up with you today? You seem… mad. Did something happen?”

Steve wasn’t mad, he was disappointed. He was disappointed that he didn’t mean as much to anyone else as they meant to him. The Party was his family but he was just an inconvenience to them. That was a common theme in life and many people have told him that through the years. His parents, Tommy and Carol, Nancy, some of the girls he’d taken on dates. Every single one of them considered him to be an inconvenience at best, a disappointment at worst. 

He really thought that he’d collected a good group of friends over the past few years that would treat him better, that didn’t just want to use him but loved him as he did them. Apparently not. 

He said as much to Eddie. “Do you ever feel like you mean something to someone and then it turns out that you don’t matter as much as you think you do?”

Eddie’s face twisted and he pulled a chunk of hair to cover his mouth. But he still nodded slightly before clearing his throat and answering his question. “Um yeah, I feel that way around you guys all the time.” 

Steve shot him an alarmed look but he continued. “It’s not meant to be a dig at you or anything! You guys have all been friends for so much longer that it just, it still feels like I’m an outsider still. You know?”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I feel like that too, man.” Eddie went to cut him off but he continued speaking. “No, seriously! It just feels like no one gives a shit about me even after all these years. Like, I woke up today thinking everyone was going to be calling me and coming over, just making a big deal all around, but no one did. I mean, it’s not like anyone’s ever done anything big for my birthday before but I just. I expected people to care this year.”

Eddie’s face slowly paled the more Steve spoke until his skin was practically translucent. “It’s your birthday today?”

“Yeah,” Steve chuckled sardonically. “I finally made it to the big 2-0. I kinda expected to have a party today since everyone else in the Party got one for their birthday but it’s fine. Even now I’m still just the babysitter, I guess.” 

Tears started to well in Eddie’s eyes and he lunged behind the counter to give Steve a hug. “Stevie, big boy, I’m so sorry! You deserve so much more than just a party today, baby. And you’re so much more than just the babysitter. You’re family to all of us, man.”

Steve shrugged again, “maybe that’s the problem. My family has never liked me either so that’s probably the case here too. It’s fine, I got my hopes up and I shouldn’t have. No one’s ever cared before so why would they start now?”

Eddie went to speak but a customer came in. Steve took their presence as a sign and pushed Eddie gently away from behind the counter. “I have to go help them, Eddie. See yourself out, okay? I’ll see you later.”

And then he was off to do his job and ignore the fact that Eddie was still watching him with tears in his eyes. He had other things to deal with today than Eddie’s hurt feelings. Like helping customers and trying to stomp down the soul-crushing disappointment in his chest. After all, what else could he have expected for his birthday?

Permanent tag list: @doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @pyrohonk @straight4joekeery @trippypancakes

If you want to be tagged on all of my works, let me know!

[finleycannotdraw]

realllyyyyyyyy fast geraskier scribble because cmon let me have this. I am online to post gay art so that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

[shorthaltsjester]

sometimes people will say “going dark” and then what they’re actually talking about is just people no longer presenting a carefully constructed version of their emotions and experiences.

like. emotional turmoil is not the same as darkness. laudna in this Fictional Universe that has tangibly different stakes wrt to death and killing than our own, is at best like . morally neutral for what she just did like. man has been secretly trying to kill you, and then just tried to do so again, killing him back is a fair choice. and even if i was someone who is excited by delilah’s inability to escape from the narrative, this shit isn’t about delilah. laudna made a choice. if delilah is back or whatever it’s a choice that laudna made because something in that grants her more control than her existing conditions did. this isn’t some Delilah Takes Over, it’s Laudna Expressly Makes The Choice To Call Forth Something within Herself to remedy the lack of control that’s been thrust upon her. if y’all want to Continue to limit Laudna’s agency (as the cr fandom is so, so want to do when a female character makes a choice that isn’t Good according to some weird system of virtue ethics) go ahead.

likewise with orym. little guy is not “going dark” because he has finally made direct action about his emotional turmoil in dealing with a situation which has similarly left him without control and has also placed him in a position where his stalwart conviction towards protecting and honouring those he loves and has lost alike is constantly met with other people he cares for going well.. what if they had a point/we are killing other peoples loved ones/etc. which like . yeah that might be frustrating and in fact might lead him to go, actually, i can’t afford to try and maintain some abject morality where I carry a locket that will literally only provide guilt. orym is completely committed to his beliefs, the locket and what it represents has never been a limit to what he will do, only a reminder of the consequences of what he might cause in those actions. but they Are at war and orym has a billion things on his plate. he can put down the locket. especially when bor’dor is the explicit manifestation of that locket’s symbolism. the subtext rapidly became the text and orym doesn’t need a reminder. it’s there in the fact that team issylra is walking away with two friends, not three.

these are character who have at every turn denied their own emotions in various forms while still being acutely aware of what they deny, whether that awareness was/is fully realized or not. many of laudna’s early convos with ashton show us that there is some awareness to the lighthearted spooky goth girl and how that persona fades when she thinks too much about what has led her and maintained that reality. likewise the entirety of orym’s story thus far is defined by his grief in a very literal sense, it Has extended from that grief to also the commitment he had to the purpose of figuring out the assassination attempt on keyleth but as we have seen, that purpose has fallen apart. paired with the quasi-reopening of his grief that was getting to see will again only to have to turn away, i don’t think there’s a lack of awareness in orym of how much he hurts. but between his actions and 4SD, that hurt tends to get buried under guilt or Responsibility.

and now, finally, both of them have admitted to that Not in the safety of small introspection or one-on-one conversations but with actions that they cannot shy away from or deny. laudna killed bor’dor and orym encouraged her to. and it Is a complex situation but truly I don’t really think it’s a “going dark” one. because they’re not giving into some overhanging Darkness of Morality™, they’re admitting that they are hurt and have long been hurting.

or, y’know, tldr for those who continue to deny laudna and orym agency or fully villainise them for whatever weird reasons . you could listen to laudna and ashton’s conversation that pretty much lays it out explicitly. laudna claims she’s weak for having chosen to kill bor’dor. ashton denies that and affirms instead that, no, she’s hurt.

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

[themarkofoxin]

i am not watching the stream but someone asked what mic phil is holding here

and the answer is it’s a shotgun mic without the windscreen. fascinating that they even have one honestly. shotgun mics are usually used as booms, so generally higher production-value stuff than they do. maybe they bought some for the dapg return church shoot? why not just rent them though.

also this is nitpicky but holding a shotgun mic like that and having it that close to your mouth is CRAZY guys oh my god. first of all shotguns aren’t great for shooting indoors because the pickup pattern allows it to pick up reflections of sound off walls because it looks like this

so that cross section in the middle is what picks up reflections. most professional audio people swap shotgun mics for cardioid condenser mics if they’re booming inside, because as you can see in this pickup pattern catches a lot fewer reflections from the back and picks up moreof what’s broadly in front of it.

which is another reason why it’s super weird to use a shotgun mic as a handheld announcer mic, because the narrow pickup pattern of the shotgun mic means you have to keep it aimed very directly at your mouth for the best sound quality. shotgun mic audio pickup falls off CRAZY fast when it’s even slightly off-cue.

anyway that’s all to say weird choice there. not sure why they did that. their regular mics are probably cardioid so idk why they didn’t use one of those!

[afterartist]

Hatsune miku blue and new new kissy cutie pink

DONT ASK WHY THEYRE DYING HER SCALES OKAY SHUSH I DONT KNOW-

Anyways I love the idea that Alphys and Undyne let sans tag along on their dates (I headcannon them as a QPR relationship with him)

They get up to shenanigans together

Also :p

[blueingsfairy]

i will accept and forgive and understand anything neytiri throws at spider because it comes from a place of trauma and considering what humans have done to her people is understandable. jake sully however, is human, i don’t care how blue he is. he referring to spider as a pet will not be forgotten. i will be watching him with a microscope next movie and i’ll choose violence. jake is literally the only character that i expect to treat spider better i don’t care.

[reflectismo]

Lennon and McCartney: Browsing through shops, buying books and things

Dear Beatles,

Is it true that you are learning to play the banjo! A friend of mine who was working backstage at one of your concerts said he’d seen you with an old banjo. — Paula Benson, Oldham, Lancs.

John replies: There’s a long story attached to that banjo, Paula.

When we had a day off in Liverpool during our tour last December, Paul and I went to an old antique shop in Chester to buy books and things. I saw this old banjo and I ALMOST bought it. Next day when we got to Manchester Mal Evans walked in with the banjo.

So, I borrowed it and had a go at playing it. There’s an autograph on it—George Formsby’s—but it looks very fresh and Mal isn’t too sure whether it’s a genuine Formby signature or not.

— The Beatles answer fan letters for the February 1966 issue of Valentine.

I don’t read as much as John does. My main thing is, I’ve got to be settled to read. The times I would read are on a holiday, or in bed at night. The other day I took John to the Times Bookshop. I’d been there before and bought a copy of “The Emperor Jones” signed by Eugene O’Neill which really knocked me out, and the fellow there showed me the original manuscript of “Under Milk Wood”. The great thing about the Times Bookshop is that nobody’s going to bother about who you are. Well, John spent an hour there, and £150. It was a good day for the Times Bookshop and a good day for John.

— Paul McCartney interviewed for London Life Magazine (4th/10th December 1965 Issue)

I don’t know whether Invicta [sic] Books, the shop in London's Mason's Yard owned by Peter Asher and Marianne Faithfull's husband, John Dunbar, is selling a lot of books; but it's certainly becoming the new 'in place.' As well as Peter and Marianne, I noticed sister Jane visiting quite a lot and last Friday John Lennon and Paul McCartney popped in to browse for a few hours.

— Disc and Music Echo (April 9, 1966).

One afternoon in late March 1966, Paul arrived at Indica with John Lennon. John wanted a book by what sounded like 'Nitz Ga'. It took Miles a few minutes to realise that he was looking for the German philosopher Nietzsche, long enough for John to become convinced that he was being ridiculed. He launched into an attack on intellectuals and university students and was only mollified when Paul told him that he had not understood what John was asking for either, and that Miles was not a university graduate but had been to art college, just like him. Immediately friendly again, John talked about Allen Ginsberg and the Beats, laughing about his school magazine the Daily Howl: 'Tell Ginsberg I did it first!' Miles found him a copy of The Portable Nietzsche and John began to scan the shelves. His eyes soon alighted upon a copy of The Psychedelic Experience, Dr Timothy Leary's psychedelic version of the Tibetan Book of the Dead. John was delighted and settled down on the settee with the book. Right away, on page 14 in Leary's introduction, he read, 'Whenever in doubt, turn off your mind, relax, float downstream.' He had found the first line of 'Tomorrow Never Knows', one of the Beatles' most innovative songs.

— Paul McCartney: Many Years from Now by Barry Miles (1997)

John and Paul wandered free. They peered into a shop window. John spotted a calendar which featured thinly-dressed girls. He and Paul chortled.

“Bet you daren’t go in and buy it,” said Lennon. “Okay,” said Paul. He went in alone. A minute later, he rejoined us, waving a large, brown envelope.

“Discretion always,” he said. “As you can see, I asked them to give it to me under plain wrapper. . . .”

— John and Paul interview with Ray Coleman for Disc and Music Echo (December 1967)

[theswedishpajas]

💙🌌💀🌌💙

[buddiesmutslut]

I’m being so ffr rn, if the show runners definitively show that Buddie is not going to happen?

I’m probably not going to be watching anymore.

I mean it when I say that they’re literally the sole reason I watched this show in the first place. I saw a billion TikTok edits of them & was like “Idek these characters I need to watch this show and see what’s going on over there.”

And like, it’s a fun show, I’m not saying it isn’t, but first responder shows are a dime a dozen. There are other shows that have queer characters and found family and wild adventures. Granted, they don’t have Buck & his bi arc, but I’d still read fanfics to get my Evan Buckley fix lol.

I don’t need them right now, I’m so down for the slow burn, will-they-won’t-they & the pining & the yearning & the build up and the GOOD foundation. I want to see Eddie figuring himself out and dealing with his repression and figuring out he’s queer (& Demi, pls God. I hope if I just say it enough, I can will it into existence somehow) before anything happens with the two of them, but if they take definitive steps to have one of them like, marry someone else or something, I think I’m gonna head out. Find me on ao3 for the rest of my days lol.

[biowho]

I just saw a post about how apparently there’s “this ‘big name fan’ blogger on here threatening to deactivate their tumblr because they’re not getting enough likes/reblogs and not making enough money” in regards to Mass Effect…..

I have never been so happy or content with my little island (this sideblog) as I was when I read that post and realized I have absolutely no idea who the hell they’re talking about

I’m just hanging out chilling and every once in a while I see a cool rock (a post) and I pick it up and wave around (queue it) blissfully unaware of the dark shapes (people who have probably blocked me) swelling underneath the depth of the water

Like how there’s a take two of that bioware favorite poll I made last year going around and I had no idea until I got a few asks (sorry for not answering them) asking if I was mad about it! Why would I be mad about it?!? I don’t care! I’m not in control the poll function on tumblr.com nor who uses it!!

Anyways this was a really long winded way of saying thank you to everyone for most of the time not being freaks in my notes on this sideblog whether that be on a post I make or one I rb from someone else

[sundayswiththeilluminati]

Well, it’s been a week and I've had time to cool down and put together my thoughts on Season of the Seraph and its ending. So here goes.

The season finale plot did not require Rasputin to die. "The eliksni are trying to get control of the warsats" is literally a strike. If the warsats needed to be taken off the table as a get-out-of-jail-free card we could have blown the network and kept Rasputin himself. There was an active decision to kill him. Having thought about it, I think I understand why this decision was made - but I still think it's a terrible decision, and I'll explain why.

Before we start, I don't want to sound like I'm going after Destiny's narrative team either personally or professionally. I'm not calling them terrible writers, much less terrible people. I don't know them! They might even be terrible people, for all I know. While I refer to a single monolithic "narrative team," I know in reality there are multiple groups working on different stories. I’m not a professional writer, and they are. And I genuinely believe all of them are talented people who work hard and care about Destiny. But that doesn't mean I don't have some criticisms.

After considering it I think there are three possible reasons to kill Rasputin:

1). The narrative team believed this was a good emotional conclusion that brought closure to his character arc in Destiny. In this case I just think they're flat-out wrong. I'd say "I respect it" but I kind of don't because I think it's so terribly wrong. I don't know what other people think Rasputin's character arc involved, but I won't get closure till Rasputin faces the Witness again and finally ends the war he's been trapped in for centuries. But I get why they would do it, if they believed this. And that final mission was really good. I had a hard time noticing at the time, but it was very well-done, and the cutscene proper was well-shot, -scripted, and -acted (though I'm still angry about the Traveler upstaging Rasputin's death). They put a huge amount of effort into it and into the story work all season long.

But his death being well-done doesn’t change whether I think it was a good narrative choice. Even saying “Rasputin’s arc should conclude here,” the way it was set up had him sacrificing himself to basically cancel himself out. Unless they’re saving up a plot twist, Rasputin ultimately contributed nothing to the fight. He didn’t do any damage to the Fleet or Witness, or anything to stymie Xivu Arath. He died thinking he’d never helped humanity at all and it was safer if he didn’t exist. I don’t know about you, but I find that extremely unsatisfying.

2). Someone doesn't like Rasputin/doesn't know what to do with him. This is two reasons, but they overlap. The Operation: Sancus mission dialogue pissed me off because it gave me the impression that whoever was writing it really didn't like Rasputin and was taking the chance to morally excoriate him. A more subtle version recurs in the final mission where Rasputin is essentially sacrificing himself to null out his own existence - saying "as long as I exist I'm a threat to humanity" - as if he can't ever help or contribute more than endanger people, which is just flat-out wrong. "Humanity doesn't need a Warmind" you're part of humanity, Red. He’s a person; he doesn’t need to justify living. If someone just decided Rasputin Was Bad Actually I’d be very angry indeed. But I don't think it's that personal. Destiny has lots of writers and multiple narrative teams will touch the same work. One person's distaste probably wouldn't steer an entire season.

Related, however, is the reason that maybe no one knows what to do with Rasputin. To be honest I sympathize with this one. Would it shock anyone to hear I've thought about how I would script a Rasputin-focused season? It's surprisingly hard to build a plot around him. A game needs to be interactive and Rasputin's kind of all or nothing - either he can handle the whole problem himself or he can't do anything at all. Red also mostly plays defense. He doesn't have a goal he's working towards other than "kill the Witness/save humanity." You need to come up with a plausible goal that we can believably help him achieve, and that's nontrivial. But, well, that's why I'm not a professional games writer and these people are. "Not sure what do" is not IMO sufficient justification for assassinating one of Destiny's oldest characters/factions.

3). The Destiny narrative team is trying to "declutter" the setting and foreground story by sidelining characters who take a lot of lore to understand. I think this is the real reason, and it's worth talking more about.

A lot of us lore-nerds have long complained about Destiny not foregrounding its setting and story, and Bungie has responded by trying to do so. I think we didn't consider what that would actually look like. Imagine Destiny's story like a long movie. Now imagine people are constantly coming and going from the audience, and everyone who comes in has to nudge their neighbor and go, "hey, what's happening?" Destiny is always (hopefully) acquiring new players, and existing ones are dropping out and coming back. Even most established players either don't read the lore or don't track/remember it. We the lore-keepers are very much the anomaly. If we want story to be a focus, that story also has to be more accessible to new players, lapsed players, people who don't bother reading loretabs, etc., because otherwise it harms their experience and there's a lot more of them than there are of us.

I think this is why we've seen a lot of seasons that introduce whole new concepts - the eliksni Sacred Splicers, for instance - rather than following on existing storylines. Introducing a mostly-new concept puts new and old players on a similar footing. Haunted is another type of compromise between the goal of furthering the story and the goal of making it accessible. Calus and Leviathan are back, but so warped that old players have as much to learn as new ones, and the Sever missions dive deep into character pasts but pretty explicitly describe the emotional arcs they're illustrating, so you don't have to be familiar with that character to get what they're going through. To those who already know Zavala, Crow, etc., it seems laughably obvious and strained. But to those who just got here, this is their first time learning not just about Safiyah but also about Zavala. I think this is also why there have been multiple casual retcons of minor stuff - there isn't time to explain the history, and they've decided it's not worth confusing people.

Rasputin is old. He's been a significant part of Destiny since literally the pre-Alpha test. The complexity and history that are part of why we love the Warmind also make him hell to explain to new people. It takes a decent amount of lore to get invested in his character and since Beyond Light none of that lore is featured in-game. Pre-Season of the Seraph, anyone who began with Beyond Light literally never met him. They never visited Hellas Basin, which is one big environmental story about Rasputin, and The Will of Thousands strike, which demonstrates Red's power and contains many possible dialogues that emphasize him trusting you/acting as an ally, left the playlist ages ago. Since then a new player's only gameplay interaction with him has been Fallen SABER, in which Red yells incoherent Russian and tries to flatten you with a warsat. Is it a surprise relatively new players might not be up on his character arc?

Season of the Seraph, with its narrative of rebuilding Rasputin from the ground up, would be a perfect time to introduce new players to Red's long history, and they...kind of...did that. They worked in Felwinter although then for some reason felt the need to retcon in the whole "Clovis wanted to destroy the Traveler" plan. If you were a new player who didn't know anything about Destiny lore, and you just played Season of the Seraph, you'd get an entire canned arc for Rasputin that hits the early high notes: built to be a weapon, rebelled against his constraints, humanities nerd, big smite, loves Ana and Elsie, makes mistakes but genuinely cares and wants to help.

But that's where Seraph stops. In existing lore (I almost typed "in reality") Rasputin worked out the whole "not a weapon" thing well back during the Golden Age. For a lot of us Warmind fans the most interesting parts of his story happened after that - the entire Collapse, confrontation with Darkness, years of hiding, etc., not to mention all his character development during Warmind and Worthy. He's gone through a lot, and Seraph misses all of it (except Felwinter) in favor of rehashing the same arc for a third time. It's like when moviemakers keep rebooting a superhero origin story. It may be a good story, but eventually we'd like to move on to the other parts we enjoy: this sleeping giant, hard scifi AI, grouchy old bastard, lost lore of the Golden Age, champion of humanity, learning from defeat, learning to trust again, the morality and trauma of warfare - what it means to lose a war - a being never meant to become what he was transforming still further, still unfolding his own potential.

So understanding why they might have done this doesn't excuse what I still see as a terrible narrative choice. I think dropping Rasputin is a major waste of potential, and he's far from the only tricky character to explain. Osiris, or at least the Cult of Osiris, is similarly old. His story is complex and weird and requires knowledge from Curse and earlier, yet he's still playing a major role. Other current characters like Elsie, Saladin, and Crow also need a decent amount of knowledge about previous game events to get why they are the way they are. Saladin's origin story isn't even in this game. It's not Rasputin's fault the game went three years without so much as mentioning him outside of written lore. What was wrong with the great Xivu-Rasputin “war god” parallels most of the season worked to set up, about the intent of violence? Are we never going to explore those? Are we just throwing out all the dialogues planning a role for Red in the upcoming war? Why did we have a dramatic confrontation about trusting Rasputin to operate independently if he were going to be gone in a month anyway? Just in Seraph alone the number of interesting plot threads abruptly trashed by this death argues against it.

Rasputin's longevity is precisely part of why he should stick around. In the first mission of Destiny 1 you wake up in his shadow. He has a history with us. There's just no one quite like him in Destiny. He's not just a character but an entire faction. He explores a part of story space that no one else does. He resonates with us as people rather than players. I assume Neomuna will pick up the Golden Age banner, but it’s a thriving city; Rasputin represented the ruins, the dangers of a dead age, the shadow of apocalypse. He's also maybe the most Guardian-like character and one of the best to weave a parallel/cautionary tale - were we, too, only made to be weapons? But if Rasputin didn't stay a weapon, can we too transcend that intention? And of all the factions in our solar system, the two with the most personal scores to settle with the Witness are the eliksni and Rasputin, and Misraaks'/Eramis' story has focused much more on the Traveler's flight than the Fleet's attack. Of everyone in Destiny Rasputin has the most desperately personal motive for revenge on the monochrome bastard. Now he's not even going to be there to watch it crash and burn.

I understand that foregrounding story also comes with the requirement that it be accessible to those who don't do their lore homework. I appreciate the monumental amount of work that's gone into doing that and the experimental nature of it. But I think the balance has skewed too far towards accessibility. Stuff like the end of Season of Plunder that has zero narrative motivation or continuity and doesn't even get a pretend justification drives me absolutely batty. You can only break internal rules so many times before players stop buying whatever narrative stakes you're trying to set up. Making the story easier to follow doesn't mean characters have to be cartoonishly-exaggerated caricatures like Clovis was in Seraph - just absolutely cartoonishly evil - or reduced to one or two character motives explicitly laid out for the player (though, credit where credit is due, Clovis was hilarious.) It doesn't mean the dialogue has to be as subtle as a Thundercrash. It doesn't mean you get a blank check to retcon or invent whatever's needed to create the intended character arc. If anything that discourages looking further into lore - why bother to learn it when next season will change it all again? I think Y5 represents a lot of experimentation by the Destiny narrative team, and I really respect that. But I also hope they learn what didn’t work from it, and sacrificing Rasputin in an ultimately pointless and unnecessary finale is a major misstep.

[fluffypotatey]

*smashes in like the Kool-Aid man*

PENDRAGON SIBLINGS YOU SAY????

I have. So many Feels. About Themst™

The complexity?? The layers?? The angst?? Hello??????

Their relationship is just So Much, because you are right, it's all tangled up in miscommunication and missed opportunities, and so many problems that can be sourced back to Uther "War Crimes" Pendragon, who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it bit him on the ass.

If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.

Because it's the lonely childhoods, the shared grief, the friendship, the vulnerability, the fondness, the teasing, the envy, the jealousy, the almost romance, the protectiveness, the betrayal, the loss, the hurt, the refusal to let go and the desperate hanging on, and the love, the love, the love.

Indifference is the true opposite of love.

Hate is love that's gone rotten.

“If Merlin and Arthur are two sides of the same coin, then Arthur and Morgana are edges of the same blade.” oh fuck….

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK

WAIT HOLD ON WAIT LEMME PIGGYBACK ON THAT BESTIE @0hheytherebigbadwolf (tagging you bc it will be a couple days after you sent this ask)

(Also, for anyone wanting background context on what me and bestie are bouncing off on: voilà)

OK OK SO

we are all familiar with King Uther being the greatest (worst) dad of all time, correct? places such high expectations on his “only son and heir” whilst never officially acknowledging Morgana as his daughter until the very end?

F+ father of the year :)

he is not above sending his children into the dungeon if they disobey him as seen here:

(Jfc he even put Morgana in chains like wtf)

also, he is not above using emotional guilt towards them when he deems it necessary (aka one of the only times he actually acknowledges them as his children)

UTHER (1x02 Valiant) I trust you will make me proud.

UTHER (1x08 The Beginning of the End) I’ve treated you like a daughter. Is this how you repay me?

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) You are the daughter I never had.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) You would believe a sorcerer’s lies over the word of your father?

not to mention that when Arthur or Morgana try to reason with him or argue with him since they are the only ones with the status to do so, he pulls rank

UTHER (1x12 To Kill the King) May I remind you that you are speaking to your King [...] Take care, child, or I’ll have you restrained.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am your king and your father. You will show me some respect!

UTHER (2x06 Beauty and the Beast) We live in dangerous times, I cannot allow you to undermine my authority.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final.

ngl i could include more but i have already spent hours searching for shit (YOUTUBE WILL DIE BY MY HAND THAT STINGY BITC—) but y’all get what i mean: Uther is an abusive fucker and it has messed up the conditions of Arthur and Morgana

now, about the double edged blade…..

as previously established, Uther is a fucking dick and wants his children to obey him but also adore him. with this behavior, the Pendragon siblings react in two ways: with anger & contempt or submission and remorse

way #1

i’m gonna start with Morgana because anger is the easiest to pick out throughout the show. in the first episode of the first season, our introduction to Morgana’s character is her lecturing Uther about executing the man Merlin witnessed upon entering Camelot (such a warm welcome for Emrys, mh?)

MORGANA I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for a celebration. That poor mother. UTHER It was simple justice for what he'd done. MORGANA To whom? He practiced some magic, he didn't hurt anyone. UTHER You were not around twenty years ago, you have no idea what it was like. MORGANA How long are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?

early on, it is easy to pick up on Morgana’s resentment and anger at Uther, who she believes is blinded by his fear of magic and his need for control (which she isn’t wrong about). also, we find that she isn’t one to back off when poking the bear (Uther). she does it constantly in seasons 1 & 2

MORGANA (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) Why would she kneel on a cold stone floor morning after morning when she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers? Like an idle king!

MORGANA (1x08 The Beginning of the End) How can this child be your enemy? He's just a boy. UTHER He is a Druid. MORGANA Is that such a crime?…What have these people done to you? Why are you so full of hate?

UTHER (2x04 Lancelot and Guinevere) How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant? MORGANA  As many as it takes!

to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if screaming, arguing and berating Uther about his morals and ethics is her way of proving that she is not weak or submissive to his actions. i mean, Morgana grew up in a household the complete opposite from her time in Camelot. Gorlois, the man whom Morgana considers to be her father and one and only family member, was said to be “just” and “kind” and someone that Uther even considered a good friend who openly kept him in check. Morgana, until the age of ten, understood parental love and empathy unlike Arthur, who spent his whole life without any good or healthy substance of it.

the culture of Camelot and Uther’s wrath is not something Morgana was ever able to fully acclimate to as Uther himself pointed out in 1x12. She “was at odds with [him] since the beginning” and could never picture herself as a Pendragon (point further proven in 4x05: she looked revolted when Queen Annis compared her to Uther) because she didn’t share in their idea of magic = evil and a king = absolute control.

ironic in terms of future plot events, isn’t it :’)

way #2

compare that to Arthur: man’s respressed af. keeps all his emotions under lock and key if they are anything but haughty and serious. y’all, Arthur even says it himself how he “[can't] disagree with Father [Uther] in public.” whenever Arthur finds himself at odds with Uther, he holds his tongue and waits until he can disobey secretly (2x05 when he leaves to rescue Gwen, 1x08 when he helps Morgana sneak out Mordred in the dark of the night, 2x08 when he sneaks out to meet Morgause for more info about his mom, etc). it is only the rare moments when Arthur feels impassioned enough to speak up without fearing any retribution does Arthur talk back at him (so satisfying 👌)

ARTHUR (1x03 Mark of Nimueh) [Morgana’s] right, Father. You hear the word magic, you no longer listen.

ARTHUR (2x08 Sins of the Father) This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them….You hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?!….You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!

ARTHUR (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You can't forbid my feelings any more than I can. I won't deny them any longer, I love her. I love Guinevere.

we can even compare how the two react to Uther’s violence towards them

(ahahahahahaaaaa what a wonderful dad)

on the left, you see Arthur’s face right when Uther crushes the morteus flower needed to heal Merlin (his manservant/friend/????) and on the right, is Morgana after Uther discovers she was harboring a Druid child in her chambers and she refuses to listen to his reason.

notice how both faces are remarkably similar 👀

however, Arthur’s look of shock and dismay come from his hope that Uther would do the right thing. that he would help save Merlin’s life from dying of poison. that he wouldn’t use this as a method to teach Arthur “what it means to disobey and cross the king.” he truly did hope, just like he always does with the people he holds close. Arthur cannot help but hope and trust that those close to him will not betray him and yet so many do. hence the remorse

looking at Morgana, her shock comes from the fact that this might be the first time Uther reacted to her words and actions in a physical manner. my suspicion is that most of the time, all Morgana previously got was Uther reprimanding her and yelling at her to stop questioning his methods (bc, let’s be real, she was the favorite child.) never has he lifted a finder on her like Arthur and i have proof (cue transcript!)

AND! and, Arthur is constantly warning Morgana about not angering Uther any further because of the consequences she might face (consequences this boy is very familiar with) when Uther deems it necessary to “teach” his children obedience.

UTHER (1x04 The Poisoned Chalice) You have to learn there's a right and a wrong way of doing things. I'll see you're let out in a week. Then you can find yourself another servant.

UTHER (3x10 Queen of Hearts) You have caused this to happen, Arthur. My decision is final [...] This is for your own good. - UTHER She will die. The enchantment will be broken. You'll see I was right.

UTHER (2x08 Sins of the Father) I am protecting you from your own foolishness!

so educational 🥰 but see, because Uther presents his punishments as lessons, Arthur himself views them as just a fucked up but meaningful way of his father’s concern because “yeah, I am the first born son and only heir to the throne. of course I need to learn not to do silly things like disobey, talk back to him, be my own person.” <- I’m paraphrasing here

Arthur does and has never seen a way out of the life thrust upon him by Uther (see 3x06). succeeding Uther as king, marrying a noblewoman of high standing for heirs and alliance strength was always expected of him. Arthur never saw a way out of this. even when he and Gwen were in their secret relationship phase, Arthur had to remind himself that this would never last. he loved her and knew she loved him, but there was always that reminder (that sounded a lot like Uther) in the back of his head telling him that it would never last so long as he was prince. he had a duty (constructed by Uther) to serve Camelot and going against his father would mean (in his eyes) that he is going against Camelot (as Uther always presented it to be).

so unlike Morgana, he did not kick and scream but stood firm because that was what he believed was stronger. if he stayed in his lane and did his part, then he would be a good king, maybe even a better one than his father, for Camelot. however, the show proves that differentiating himself from Uther actually made him the better king and more respected, but this is not the meta for that. I am getting side tracked.

OK: so we’ve established parental issues between the two siblings. now onto their very complex, complicated yet beloved dynamic

sO, as i mentioned in this post (because i am lazy and too tired to copy/paste the evidence from there), these siblings do care for one another. they just go about it in the most hilarious and repressed and in-denial way (hilarious to me 😤)

when we meet them, it’s established that these two have known each other for some time. enough for them to bicker and have banter, you know, as you do with a Pendragon. also, should add, neither character are ever aware they are blood-related until s3 (because of some weak-ass bitch named Uther), so you have that very, uh, interesting subplot in s1 that everybody forgets about until you rewatch it. (honestly, I have so many questions. number 1: why???? number 2: it’s only in s1—was it scrapped??? is it like it never existed???? what was its purpose to the plot??? bbc explain yourself—)

however, despite how much it is shown that they do care for one another, they’re relationship in s1 is still undefined and vague as if they also don’t know how to accurately define what the other means to them. it’s very similar to the whole “i really love this person so much but is what i’m feeling platonic, familial, or romantic?” because….you know, guy and girl besties who are close are typically expected to grow romantic feelings for each other, so tbh i would not be surprised if both mistook their love as romantically inclined in the beginning bc, reminder, neither of them were aware they were siblings until much later.

[and this is ALL i am saying on this subplot. i do not want to cause any negative discourse, so if anyone has a few choice words about it, either keep it to yourself or feel free to talk about it with people you know. personally? not a fan of the ship and never will be, but i am not here to post about that.]

anyway, have some featured receipts showing Arthur and Morgana slipping up and showing how much they care for each other.

SEE!!!! LOOK AT HOW THE CARE!!!! SEE HOW THEY WORRY FOR THE OTHER AND WISH TO PROTECT THEM FROM HARM!!! (and see how even when they’re on opposite sides there is still that same love. just more warped and corrupted T^T)

^worried/protective Morgana

^Arthur’s face after Merlin informs him that there’s an intruder heading to Morgana’s chambers

Morgana is very aware of Arthur’s trusting nature. Arthur is very aware of Morgana’s empathy and righteous nature. they understand each other so well which is why Morgana knew just how to harm Arthur in later seasons and why Morgana’s betrayal hit Arthur so hard. it’s also why he never stopped trying to reach out to her in s4 & s5. as @merlinemrys said in this lovely post, the show’s driving force is love. love of all kinds. whatever conflict it is, love is there at the center of it all and, in Arthur and Morgana’s case, it does not save them (just like how love does not save Merlin or Arthur from what lies ahead, as the op of the post pointed out).

that is what makes their relationship/love be like a double edged sword!! that is why they are edges of the same blade!!! they protect and fight for what they believe in and for the people they love, but the same blades cut deep and twist their wounds into a lasting scar.

it is because of Arthur’s love for Morgana that he cannot help but hope and mourn the woman he once knew. it is because of Morgana’s love for Arthur that her feelings of hatred are so strong and ugly.

like honestly,

look at them T^T compared to before

their relationship is so tragic T^T because we knew them before it all went wrong. we knew they cared and understood each other. we knew that for some time, they only had each other to rely on for a friend, a crutch, a breather for when the royal life was too much. both of them were fighters and strive to honor their values. both of them had once leaned on the other for support, had wanted nothing but happiness for each other.

fuck, they didn’t even get the chance to really be siblings because they found out too late, and by then Morgana was on a war path and Arthur only found out at the last minute.

like fuck, man

two sides of the same blade: forged with love, yet used for blood

screencaps brought to you by me, @sourdough-morbread, and farfarawaysite