#I don’t think even pavel can save this show for me

[laurenkmyers]

…and welcome to another episode of Charlie disregarding every single boundary Babe tries to put up whilst single-handedly becoming the most annoying character I have ever had the displeasure of watching

[zhouxiangs]

(2/2 - back to the bitchiness!)

Babe can cry all he wants about not feeling worthy of love, but he knew Way loved him (romantically or not), and it always looked like he had a good thing going with Alan too, and the team in general were pretty close - found family I thought?? He was by no means starved of affection until Charlie arrived on the scene. It might just be a personal thing, but I will, 9 times out of 10, always root for the shared history over the instalove, unless the latter is incredibly well-written and portrayed. And I'm sorry, but for me Charlie/Babe falls short on both counts. I genuinely don't like to criticise real ppl who've done nothing wrong, but I don't think I'm alone in feeling Charlie is a weak link in a fairly uniformly strong cast, and it becomes particularly glaring when playing next to actors like Pavel and Nut. Add to that the way they've styled him (with the stupid oversized glasses - as a glasses-wearer myself, this is a pet peeve!), and he looks to me like nothing more than a silly kid playing at being a grown-up (not sure what their ages are meant to be so maybe he is!). And then when it comes to being so amazing/special that he completely changes Babe's world...admittedly, I don't pay attention during his scenes so maybe I've missed something, but from what I can gather, he became obsessed with someone he'd never met, stalked him for a bit, deliberately infiltrated his personal and professional life, approached him with the intent of making him fall in love with him, and repeatedly lied to him about devastating truths? But it's okay, romantic in fact, because it was all just in service of saving his life? (Thank you btw for your own service in previously pointing out this correlation tween him and Way!) From what I see, all he does is slavishly worship Babe and be really good in bed? Personally, I don't think that makes for a particularly healthy and sustainable relationship! (And to be fair, this is again probably a flaw in the writing: because Babe is the main character, the way his relationships are portrayed disproportionately champion him, not the other person - it's about ppl doing things in service of him, supporting him, loving him - we see much less of what he actually gives back, of him supporting them, of why these ppl want him in their lives (besides having Pavel's face), and that can make these relationships seem very one-sided. Undoubtedly my bias showing through yet again, but I think those montages of Way and Babe's friendship, however brief, did a really good job of allowing the viewer to easily picture how that relationship came to be and why it meant so much to both of them.)

Sorry if I’ve been harsh – it’s all still meant in the spirit of constructive criticism (with maybe the teeniest hint of pettiness)! It’s just that, while everyone else is crying over Babe/Charlie, I’m still here obsessing over the idea of a young Way experiencing the devastating realisation that he can never ever tell the person he's fallen utterly in love with the truth about himself, because the second Babe knows he will never trust him again, never TOUCH him again. And, in a way, that realisation cements Way’s fate, because even if he wanted to thwart Tony’s plan, how could he do so without first revealing it, and thus revealing himself?

And somehow even worse is the fact that, if you think about it (don’t - it hurts), even if he’d escaped from Tony eons ago, Way was always doomed by his own power to be alone, because, let’s face it, would you ever completely trust someone who can do what he can? Wouldn’t a tiny part of you always be wondering if that brush of the hand, that easy arm over the shoulder, that comforting hug, was entirely innocent? If your thoughts were always entirely your own? And that just breaks my heart more than anything else in this show!

mm you're right, but i don't think it was love he was missing but romantic love. babe had friends and a family all rolled into one and they all seemed to have a great relationship, but as he said himself, he didn't want or need (romantic) love. it was meeting charlie and spending time with him (and being able to do so because of charlie's lack of stinky alpha pheromones) that made him realise that was something he wanted. yes he fell in love pretty quickly, but i think it's believable, specially considering it's his first love. people have been talking about this extensively so i don't really have anything to add, but it's so important to me how smitten babe is with charlie; there's the whole baddie aesthetic vs softie personality, screw toxic masculinity, Boys Can Be Soft Actually… i have 0 objectivity, he's perfect to me. i love romance and i love my car racing babygirl.

i know people are interpreting this differently and maybe i'm just wrong, or this may be a translation issue/something that's clearer in thai, but imo when babe said the line about sometimes feeling like he wasn't worthy of love bc of what way told him he was referring specifically to that one time we saw way manipulate him, and that it wasn't something that happened regularly. sorry i know i keep saying this, but i genuinely believe the focus on the escalating levels of manipulation wasn't only so we'd notice but because we were supposed to notice way's desperation and how he went from doing it occasionally to "help" babe (that first time in ep 2) to… everything that came later. not to drag way but he wasn't doing shit for those 10 years other than buying babe time by waiting for him to magically love him back. how tf did he convince tony lmao maybe tony just wasn't in any rush to get babe back yet since he knew he could do it whenever he needed him.

oh no you are fully right, pooh isn't the strongest actor (i used to think lee/dean was the weakest out of the cast because of some awkward moments during the first eps but then the garage scene happened and i cannot say that anymore, he was fecking amazing) which isn't surprising since it's his first role, but i also think it adds a certain charm to the character; charlie recently graduated so i believe he's around 22 (i was told a while back he's 20 in the novel, if that's relevant? and alan tells babe that jeff (20) and charlie are the same age but unlike koreans who ime usually mean born in the same year when they say that, i've seen things like a 27 yo being happy he's working with "people his age" talking about people aged 23 to 25, so…) and he is trying to save babe from their evil adoptive father and all his power basically by himself, so "a silly kid playing at being a grown-up" is an accurate description imo lol he really is a brave, naive, optimistic kid, and that's what will make him succeed ultimately. i super believe in you charlie pit babe. also please do not come for charlie's styling, he's wearing my glasses lmao (they're normal sized?? or we have the same temple to cheekbones ratio, so yes, they just look like that) (also people please prioritise field of view over glasses size) (this was funny btw, don't think i was offended!)

waynnie, i am in my way feels 24/7. i cannot stop thinking about his isolation even when he had the team and his best friend by his side because as much as they felt like a family to him, his secret was always (and was always going to be) between them like a persistent ghost. i cannot stop thinking about his anxiety meds (afaik triazolam is used in my country to treat transitory insomnia, btw, but i'm not a doctor and we're going with the subs) and about how if he'd wanted to tell babe about tony earlier he would have had to tell him everything which would make him lose the only good things he has in his life, so no wonder he needs those meds. and not to sound like a broken record, but again, it's a fact that both charlie and way approached babe under false pretenses and both fell in love with him, but because way did so under tony's orders and not of his own volition this is somehow unforgivable…? intent is important and charlie was lying for a good reason, he wouldn't have been able to get close to babe by telling him the truth, but ultimately both of them lied and if we're judging only that fact they're either both wrong or both right, pick one.

i also keep thinking about the parallel of touch and having feelings about (possible) pete powers that the show will probably invalidate in a few hours. and because i love pain and suffering, i keep thinking how people's reaction to knowing someone can manipulate them just by touching them would be worse to their already horrible reaction to knowing someone can see their future by touching them, so yeah. we love it here in the pit babe of despair.

[kawaikith]

☾ my views on strong girl : namsoon .

I’ve just started watching this drama two days back, and I must say, it is intriguing to watch it, so far, namsoon has met her mother, i really wanna know what wooseok’s character is up to with the whole drug thing.

I see heesik’s heart beating for our girl namsoon, that face expression of freeze on his face, when she lifts something heavy, or jumps, or saves someone, he has this brief moment of shock and awe on his face that i really love to watch. Seong woo played his character so well, i’m already in love with him. 🫶🏻

Oh, how can I forget geumju, she’s the kind of mother i’ve always wanted my mother to be, and if i was to be a mother, i would be like her, she’s kind, but fierce at the same time, mhm! The perfect combination as a mother, I love her character so much!!! I enjoy watching her so much, that i’m cheering for her through my screen, lol!

I’m even more curious to know what ryu sio plans to do with namsoon, because he seems to want to have power, lots of power, and he said that he likes speed in the first episode, or the one ep, where namsoon saves the airplane from crashing.

Okay, let me take my statement back, geumju is a great CEO but, not a good mother, since she completely ignored namin, and only focused on namsoon, which led to namin taking drugs, to loose weight, and ending up almost dead, I was screaming at the screen.

Anyway, it got dealt with, she got the antidote, and he didn’t die.

Ryu sio has finally found out who gang namsoon is, and I feel pity, anger, and empathy for him.

He’s just a child who was made to feel powerless by the Russian mafia- Pavel, and it’s not his fault to want power, but what he is doing is wrong, and selling drugs, so many people died because of that, isn’t right.

I want to help him, but he’s not a person who would change for good, so i don’t know what namsoon might do, after knowing that he knows her identity, and may want to kill her.

So, i’ve finished watching the drama, and I have so much to say....!

I knew that namsoon won’t die, since it is a kdrama, there will be something that saves her.

There’s still some story behind ryu shio’s death, I feel like binbin and nozh have something planned for sure.

I feel so many emotions behind ryu shio’s death, he had a tragic past, and all he wanted was power so he won’t feel so powerless like he did back in his childhood.

He also wanted someone trustworthy he can rely on, he had namsoon, maybe if namsoon wasn’t a spy, and just an ordinary girl, he would’ve protected her, somewhere I feel like he did have feelings for her.

I didn’t think that he would die so easily.

There’s something fishy especially after the revelation of nozh, that is bread song, I knew that he must a meaningful character, his name also sounded so stupid, also if he was not important why would he even be on this drama?

I for sure know that there’s gonna be a season three, there has to be, also where did binbin escape to?

Binbin didn’t betray his friend, but will he betray Pavel as well?

Something just doesn’t sit right with shio’s death and all.

For a second, i thought shio didn’t die, but then again they didn’t have much time to swap each other, the police has already infiltrated the boxing gym. (Stupid me) 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyway, i enjoyed this drama so much, that i didn’t sleep, because i was busy watching this.

Oh, and the end, they show that boy, Jang Chung dong, who is a mutant, they say, and geumju met his mother to take him under her wing, i’m excited to see what the writers come up with in season three!

[radiantlyrey]

Thoughts on Uprising ep14 “Tagged”

- note: we are now in Unknown Territory, for me! I have not watched any episodes past this point! all I know is what I’ve seen chatter about; that’s it!! SO LET’S GET STARTED.

- cold open: I see we have a team of feral dogs libertarian street artists making trouble in Argon! good thing they got away from the cops, at least?? (in re: feral dogs: Night Vale references? anyone? anyone?)

- “my fanclub strikes again” “you mean my fanclub” Tron are you being SASSY??? I agree with Beck, this is an improvement!!

- I get the sense from this conversation that Beck is still a little testy about his encounter with Cyrus, hence his insistence on bringing the street artists into the fold. Tron is advising caution, but I think Beck is feeling a little stretched thin by all this Renegade stuff and wants some, y’know, help. can’t say I blame the kid.

- then we cut to Paige dealing with a bomb threat on a train and it is lowkey kind of hilarious how she shoves the bomb squad aside and fucking opens the bomb herself—like girl!!!!! we have the bomb squad for a reason!!!!!!! STOP. thank god it’s just a paint bomb, cause she would’ve been derezzed instantly if it wasn’t.

- then Beck catches up with the artists three and basically does to them what Tron did to him; poses as a Black Guard and questions them and then reveals himself to be “Tron” aka the Renegade. also the subtitles totally gave away Mara’s role in the Jolly Tricksters, which… boo. but I love Beck’s obvious shock when he sees her; he was not counting on that! also Mara kind of flirting with “Tron” makes me (and Beck) uncomfortable…..

- meanwhile back at Tron’s, Beck tries to feel out why Tron chose him and also tries to suss out what, if anything, Tron will tell him about the Stranger/Cyrus. (again, not sure Cyrus actually introduced himself in the previous episode; I think I was too busy cussing to actually remember….) anyway, Beck wants Tron to tell him about Cyrus, but Tron is apparently pretending that chapter of his life DID NOT HAPPEN. (also Beck’s weird wrist circuits are still freaking me out………. hope they don’t prove significant in the future……)

- back in the main plot (though I’m surprised that this episode is ALL A-plot! no charming sideplot required, apparently!): Beck gets the Jolly Tricksters to do a distraction so he can sneak in and get some intel from Tesler’s ship. he’s in and out with no trouble, but then: trouble arrives!! in the form of Moog and Rasket who want to put a tag on Tesler’s whole ass ship. Mara is the only one of them with any sense, and she insists on going with the Renegade to get them back.

- so Moog and Rasket (Raskay~~ whatever your name is Rasket) do their big tag, and get fucking caught by Pavel. and taken to a torture chamber, essentially. Pavel’s doing that thing where he swings between silly and deadly serious and it’s a little terrifying. the torture device is horrifying and very much Do Not Want from me, like……… holy shit. and they don’t even shy away from showing it onscreen!!!! WHAT THE FUCK, SHOW. it’s like the creators realized Disney wasn’t gonna do shit to promote their show and just decided to do whatever!!!!!!!! jesus.

- Mara and Beck-as-Renegade save them tho!!! hooray!! and then Beck gives them all an assignment—keep the gate open—that Moog and Rasket immediately give up on and Mara, I can’t believe you thought you could control these two!! my god!!! but she manages to buy time for the Renegade as Beck is fighting Paige (there were some good shots in that fight btw) and they all just barely escape and ooOOF.

- less great that Moog and Rasket are out, and that Beck, as much as he needs Mara, can’t afford to put his friend in danger and essentially pushes her away. sigh.

- and then Beck and Tron have a conversation in PUBLIC ABOUT THIS???? AND TRON DON’T EVEN HAVE HIS FACE COVERED???????? the FUCK are you doing Tron???? GODDDDD.

- that said the coda of Mara doing another tag is glorious, and I hope we see more of her efforts towards revolution in the future. Beck is absolutely right: she really truly believes in the cause, and if (who she thinks is) Tron telling her he doesn’t need her doesn’t make her give up, then nothing will.

- all in all: fun little romp of an episode, and a very nice breather after the sheer fuck-inducing intensity of the previous episode.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - An Overload of Cute

July 2022 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Triage (grey) Ep 13 fin - Sing & Gap turned out to be the true heroes of this story. I liked Triage a lot, I thought the plot was good if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry, and the support characters were likable (or unlikable as required). I feel much as a did with Manner of Death, which is to say: this feels less BL than it does gay romantic suspense. If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot. However, I’m into BL for the romance and the rewatchability, and this had very little of either, so I’m giving this: 7/10 RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS, but I rate it knowing this is going on many people’s best of the year lists, and I totally understand why. Full review here. This author has another BL in the works (the one with Fluke but no Ohm) titled Make a Wish which seems to be a lighter medical fantasy about a doctor who can see ghosts. I’m looking forward to it. 

Vice Versa (Sat on YouTube) Ep 3 - The show is a little bit confusing but it’s very engaging (and I don’t mind having to suspend my disbelief while the characters figure out the world-building, I come out of SF/F so this feels natural to me). We are on ep 3 and they’re already in the bath together? GMMTV what has happened to you? I’m shocked I tell you. Shocked. (Also delighted, of course.) Am I the only one really enjoying VV? Maybe, but I am really enjoying it. I should remind you all that magical realism is one of my favorite sub genres of BL. I recently re-watched Color Rush and yes, it is still one of my favorites of all time.

Love Mechanics (Sun WeTV) Ep 6 - One of the few Thai BL‘s that’s still working for me right now, and it shouldn’t be. What can I say? YinWar win the Great 2022 Chemistry in Bad BL Wars (TM) 2022, even over BounPrem. Vee is an arse. It was very satisfying to watch Mark punch him (I rewound 3x). Might be one of my favorite moments of the week. Mark standing up for himself at last was great, but he should’ve broken up with Vee for at least one ep. You know I want my semes to SUFFER.

Coffee Melody (Mon Viki) Ep 2 - Aside from very Thai pacing (read: SLOW AF) this show almost has a Korean feel to it (in the Behind Cut vein). Jean is MINE, I love him so much. I’m not wild about the lead though. (I keep getting Sunoo of Enhyphen vibes off him, is that just me?) Frankly, this show is v pretty but a bit boring, even Pavel in an apron isn’t saving it for me. But I’ll keep watching for this sparkle: 

Unforgotten Night (Weds on GaGa) Ep 5-6 - It’s just terrible. TRASH WATCH (up to ep 4) IS HERE! 

Check Out (Sat IQIYI) Ep 7-8 - The amusement park date that never ends. I watch this show 1.5x speed and I’m still skipping through most of it. It got somewhat pleasingly traumatic in the last five minutes, but I could not care less. That’s (prequel) ep 0 was so good and I wish that was all we ever got. The fact that the rest of this series has failed to live up the promise of that debut reminds me a bit of that first KP Trailer. Yes, I said it. I think I might DNF. (And I’m now really worried about Bed Friends.) 

Even Sun (Wed iQIYI) Ep 4-5 - I am so bored with this show. Just give us Between Us. We’re tired of all this other nonsense. If it weren’t almost done I’d DNF. 

My Secret Love (Sat YouTube Sat) Ep 9 - I am skipping everything that doesn’t have the Tim storyline in it. Also Pete is great, forthright and clear and sweet. I don’t believe his bad reputation. Anyone else keep thinking that the actor playing Tim would’ve made a great Dr Pha in 2 Moons 2? Just me?

New Thai BL universals rule? 

Story arcs with characters named Pete are always good. 

Despite an influx of new shows in August I am feeling the sudden inexplicable urge to rewatch Make it Right. Huh. 

His tongue! Come ON Shin, let some of us live, even if you can’t extend that grace to Minato.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (Japan Weds GaGa) Ep 5 - I like this show so much I started a SQUEE WTACH ALONG (because it’s not a trash watch but requires so much thought and analysis). So I’ll stop overloading the weekly recaps here. So this week, there was an attempted make-out, a side dish manifested (yes, we love this for Asuka), and nothing has progressed but I am still fucking over the moon over this darn BL.  

Want to See You (Vietnam YT) Ep 10 - Look Bah Vinh just gives great sex scenes. It’s funny how many mismatches in chemistry we get out of Thailand, and this boy pretty much has good chemistry with anybody he acts opposite. I don’t know how he does it, but I am impressed. Did anything really happen in this episode? Nope. Does anything ever really happen in the show? Nope. Are they serving up prime domesticity? Of course they are. This is Vietnam, you get what you pay for.

Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! (Japan Fri Viki) Ep 6 - It was a fun confession and a sweet if chaste kiss. But I don’t think I’m ever gonna like this show very much. It’s OK but the premise makes me uncomfortable. I look forward to the flash forward a year next ep, hopefully the uke has developed a backbone and gotten over his hero worship.

In Case You Missed It

Gameboys 2 is on GaGa now... for some, not me, tho. 

Semantic Error the movie (a repackage with extra content) is being rolled out into actual theaters first (Korea, Taiwan, and Japan so far). So unlike the other Viki movies, we will have to wait for it. Hopefully not FOREVER like Cherry Magic. 

Love of Siam stars, Mario (in the same shirt as the movie) and Pchy, reunited in an equal rights event in the middle of Siam Square. Love of Siam released in 2007 (Nov 22 will be its 15th anniversary). It’s wildly considered Thailand’s first BL. 

About Youth dropped a trailer finally, it looks SO GOOD! Like Taiwan’s Love Sick. This is one I’ll be motivated to track down.... somehow. 

Viki dropped the movie versions of Oh! Boarding House (review here) and Ocean Likes Me (review here). 

They also got and are distributing (to USA) DNA Says Love You which I adore and highly recommended (so if you missed it on GaGa go watch it on Viki, push through the first 3 eps, it’s WORTH IT, I promise.) 

Gossip

2023 Thai fundraising teaser dropped for a SF dystopian BL Wish You Luck  from Studio Commuan (new to me, they have another one coming next month: SELF the series) about a luck-stealer and an optimistic innocent trying to survive after a meteorite global destroyer. Stars Tonnam (Dr Sing in Triage) and Title (our beloved baby Nut from the Yearbook). Normally I don’t report on teasers but I LOVE THIS IDEA. Tropes include: sci-fi, dystopian, survivor, paranormal, country setting, tsundere/sunshine. trailer. (Not to be confused with Wish Me Luck which is about office workers.) 

@bluesandfilms​ reported in that the leads from Taiwanese BL Plus and Minus (review here) seem to be IRL dating. Warning: Their show has ended but they are both still doing promo. I checked their respective IGs (@.chenghao.shih and @.bbalin1000) and they look like an actual couple, but they are still tagging their couples’ shots with the show’s hashtag so... suspicious. Then again, actors are always ON. Anygay, I don’t read Mandarin, someone can confirm for me if they like. No formal statement has been issued from their agencies, but it’s Taiwan, they don’t haffa do any of this. I’m not being anti, just cautious. If they are together I wish them more success than most actor relationships. Also I *think* this would be the first gay couple to come out of a BL, are we surprised it’s Taiwan? 

Adventures in Miss Captioning

Been a while since I had one of these. 

“You don’t need to poke your face so close.” Technically the words used and placed are correct but also no one would actually say this in English. Except me now. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

War of Y starts Tuesday on AISPLY and/or GMT+8 YouTube. COPY A BANGKOK brings us 20 episode of Cheewin’s nonsense starring the boys from Y-Destiny and SCOY. If it’s easy to get hold of Stateside I’ll watch it but otherwise, I’m not fussed. 

On Cloud Nine (8 eps) a country-set atmospheric series from MindTrio starts Saturday. No idea on distribution, but since it looks sad I am, again, not fussed. 

21 Days Theory (8 eps) a high school BL from Rookie Thailand that looks to be high angst, messy, cheating, and a secret crush, starring Bever (En of Love: TOSSARA, The Best Story, Love Mechanics) and Tee (The Cupid Coach) starts Sunday. Probubly airing on Rookie Thailand’s YT channel. 

I have a list of all the BLs coming in August here. 

This week’s best moments?

Calling all us out, sheesh (Love Mechanics). 

Jean (Coffee Melody) my PRECIOUS CHILD who I love for ever and MUST protect. 

Side dishes in Unforgotten Night giving the show, and me, life. 

Don’t look so innocent, Shin, we all know what’s going on in that pretty head now, don’t we? (Minato’s Laundromat) 

Gotta stan the confident gay (My Secret Love). 

What can I say? (Vice Versa) 

Want to See You bringing the neck kisses. Thank you. 

(last week)

[queerchoicesblog]

Like Snow (Edge of Extinction, Grace x MC x Anna)

So, here's the fanfic I promised. Warning: it's kinda sad but if you're playing the book it doesn't exactly strike as happy sunshine, right?

I wrote it portraying the POV of the three women (Grace, F!MC Ellen and Anna) so yeah, it's like having 3 fanfics in one xD It takes place immediately after the latest episode and shows how the relationships/bonds evolve between the three women. It's non-canon obviously so feel free to disagree. Hope you enjoy it though!

Disclaimer: all the characters do not belong to me, they're borrowed from @playstoryscape game as well as a few lines of the original book.

Moreover, this fanfic is influenced by my playthrough where Pavel dies in the rescue of the hermit and F!MC gets the new outfit triggering the scene with Grace. There are also references to death, alcohol consumption, grieving and (internalized-ish) homophobia: if you're not comfortable with these issues, please consider skipping this.

Word Count: 2500+

Tag: @storyscaped @storyscapefanficarchive @aestheticsayeed @ghost-of-yuri @andi-the-cat (not sure your yes meant add me so feel free to ignore it in case you're not interested xD) @animus-and-anima

_____________________________

Grace POV

There she is!

The ex-military took a sigh of relief as she spotted Ellen on the other side of the church. She didn't tell anyone where she was heading and an uncomfortable feeling of concern took hold of Grace even if she kept herself busy with chores and checking in on Mari, baby Pavel and everyone else. Now that Ellen was here though it was as if a huge burden was lifted off her chest: too many things went wrong out there not to worry when someone left their sanctuary. Not to make a habit to brace yourself for the worst even after the hermit was successfully cured and part of the crew.

When she was a few steps away, Grace leaned over a pile of boxes and took in Ellen's figure. The Doctor was checking herself in a crooked mirror they found in an abandoned clothes shop in Tromstad. Fine new black boots, jeans that fit perfectly enhancing every curve, well every curve that survived the malnourishment they all experienced. A white top under a gorgeous leather jacket that made her look radiant and tough. Grace found herself staring a bit longer than she probably should have and for once, for so long after all the tragedies that haunted the group of survivors...for the first time after her husband passed away a life ago, she decided not to predict herself for that.

Instead, she allowed herself to break into a grin as she wondered whether she chose those clothes accidentally or because they reminded her of the outfits she used to wear before the world they knew was torn asunder. When they were strangers living miles and miles away and most likely would have never met if it wasn't for that tragedy. A sudden thought made the soldier smile, almost blush: yet if by chance she had walked past her in the street or crossed her path wearing those clothes, she would have made her turn her head to follow such a vision.

"I like the new looks. It suits you" she said after a moment, hoping not to scare the doctor.

Ellen froze for a moment then spun towards her. The look on her face was a bit confused and wary: she wasn't expecting such a comment from Grace or she had no idea how to take that. Luckily, it soon softened into slight amusement as she relaxed. To prove that she meant no harm, Grace crossed her arms and playfully raised an eyebrow, breaking her usual military demeanor: a look not many got to see.

Apparently, Ellen noticed as there was a hint of tease in her voice when she answered:

"Thanks. I...guess I clean up pretty well"

Understatement of the century, Grace noted in her head but Ellen was now looking at her with curiosity, surely trying to figure out what were the soldier's true intentions as she wasn't known for outstanding bonding skills nor frivolous conversation. Realizing that she needed to provide some sort of explanation for such an off character behavior, she cleared her throat and gave a quick smile.

"Noticed you'd wandered off, so I came to check on you. Didn't mean to intrude"

The Doctor looked a bit surprised but was quick to conceal it. She just shrugged and smiled back, gesturing that there was no need for apologies. 

Grace gave a polite nod, ready to shift back into her military demeanor...but for some reason she failed. Instead of walking away as she knew she should have done or Ellen probably expected her to do as she was already turning to gather her old clothes scattered on a chair, Grace spoke again. The words that kept haunting her for days dropped out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"I don't know how it's all going to play out when we get there, but I know one thing: we never would have made this far without you"

Ellen froze for a moment then turned: surprise was written all over her face. Grace sighed and continued.

"I wanted you to know we're all grateful. Everyone knows how much the group needs you"

She buried the most compromising part, grateful to her military training that thought her to say less "I" and more "we", the crew, the group when speaking to others. So she hid behind a grateful smile how much she, Grace, the woman underneath the army fatigues she was still wearing needed her, Ellen, the foolish, heroic woman with a medical degree.

"I'd say the same about you" 

Of course Ellen wouldn't just accept a compliment: Grace should have known that the resident proved herself to be generous and selfless enough to give it back and appraise her leadership. Typical Ellen, she thought, unable to prevent herself from smiling. 

"I know nothing is guaranteed" she added after much internal debate whether to keep the conversation going or retreat before it was too late: feelings are a minefield. "But the future doesn't seem hopeless anymore. A lot of that is because of you and everything you've done"

Yeah, that was a nice way to put it down into words. With a bit of luck, Ellen wouldn't have grasped the hidden layer of meaning of it: Grace had been so secretive and distant, how could she suspect that she had been a light in the dark in so many ways?

F!MC POV

The cold breeze of the night welcomed Ellen as she stepped out of the church. She wrapped her wool scarf around her and took a deep breath. She needed a break: she wasn't able to get back to sleep last night after seeing Anna hurting so bad...but the woman she kissed what sounded like in another life only pushed her away. Again. As her wobbly figure disappeared out of view she laid back in her tent but she had no luck getting back to the safe faraway of dreams. The day kept her busy and the group kept her busy: no new threat was in sight but there was so much to do to properly prepare everyone for the trip. But now she had nothing to keep her from reminiscing Anna's hurtful drunken words.

"Maybe I was wrong to leave Pavel for you. Maybe all of this started because I was unfaithful to him"

"I love you. I just..."

"I know I've made things hard on you lately. But I just keep thinking about Pavel"

Same old story just with a touch of tragedy this time. "I love you but": God knew if it hadn't been a pattern for Ellen. She couldn't count the times she heard this. But now it was the woman, unhappy former athlete who just started to shine again until shit happened and Ellen failed. Devastating despair was in Anna bright eyes as she cradled Pavel's lifeless body and begged her to do something. Ellen was a doctor, right? She could certainly do something to save him. But no, Ellen couldn't. It was too late for that, she could only bury the hatchet and whisper a dying man a comforting lie not even him believe to. 

Anna never met her gaze again that day and the day after, shuttering herself in mourning isolation. She had never been the same since that day and the accidental meeting they had last night confirmed it. As much as it hurt, now there was only Pavel and her self-guilt in Anna's mind: no more room for Ellen. The doctor found herself wondering if deep down Anna was angry at her for being so helpless and...unhelpful the day Pavel was shot. 

"Long time no see" 

A familiar voice brought her back to the real world. It startled Ellen a little before she turned to see Grace giving her a friendly nod from the wall she was sitting on, her rifle at her side.

Ellen was so grateful. It was good not to be alone with her own thoughts on a night like that. She returned the nod and smiled to herself: who better than an ex-military to be her knight in shining armor?

"Did I spook you?" Grace inquired as she moved a bit closer.

"Nah, of course not" Ellen shook her head, hoping to be convincing.

"You sure?"

"Positive, ma'am" Ellen sighed, mocking a salute that she could have sworn made Grace chuckle. "Are you on sentry duty?"

"Yes" the soldier confirmed. "I think we're safe now but lowering our guard now would be inconsiderate. Especially now that Mari gave birth to a baby..."

"Yes, I just checked on them. The little boy is fine and heavenly resting in his mom's arms. Stig is with them now"

For a moment Ellen was jealous of Mari's baby, safe in loving arms and untouched by the dire situation humanity was facing. Just a hopeful little boy offering smiles to everyone. 

As realization hit her, she pushed her hands in the pockets of her jeans and exhaled loudly as if to get rid of her own sadness: Grace had too much to keep in check as their leader to be given such an additional burden.

"Anyway...I'll get out of your hair, you're on duty and-"

"You can stay if you want" Grace anticipated her, offering a quick smile.

"-I don't want to bother you"

"I'm a woman, I can multitask pretty well" she commented, teasingly raising an eyebrow.

For some reason, Ellen found the playful gesture seductive and she had to refrain herself from biting her lip when Grace scooped over and patted the seat beside her on the bench. 

"Here, join me, Doc"

"You know it's Ellen for you" she said, obliging and taking a seat too.

"My my, when did we become so casual?"

It surprised Ellen to still hear a hint of tease in her voice: Grace was definitely showing a whole new side that day.

"Why, you're really gonna call me Doc, lieutenant?"

"Hey, for your information I am a Captain, not a lieutenant"

"I'm terribly sorry, apologies, ma'am"

The two of them shared a look and chuckled but it was soon clear that the moment was gone. Silence settled back between the two women and Grace resumed her sentry duty. However, she was the first to speak again after some time.

"Hey I...I hope I'm not overstepping but are you okay?"

"As okay as I can be, Captain" Ellen shrugged. "I'm just...concerned about Anna"

Grace nodded, her eyes scanning the surroundings.

"Yes, you mentioned that. I promise I will check on her in the morning and talk to her. But-" she took a pause. "I'm sorry, I know you two are...close"

"Were, were close I guess" the doctor corrected her, grimacing. "I appreciate your concern, Grace, but no need to worry about me. I'm used to this, to unhappy endings"

The Captain furrowed her brows and did her best not to betray too much sympathetic curiosity when she inquired:

"Did you lose a dear one too?" 

Ellen shrugged and shifted to sit more comfortably. Then she winced and sighed deeply, enhancing a puff of air.

"Not exactly. I just never was the one women would take a chance on"

Grace shifted to face her.

"What do you mean?"

Ellen met her gaze and gave her a bitter smile. 

"I don't have the best record when it comes to relationships. Sure, the medical residency kept me busy enough but even aside from that I guess I'm not 'a keeper'" she shrugged her shoulder and looked into the distance. "Good for a one night stand or a flirt but not for more. The 'love at first sight' in a drunken gay bar night to ghost once you go back to your real life. A girl I had some kind of story with, the no-strings-attached type, dumped me when I asked to go steady then dropped to one knee and proposed to her new partner or so I heard. Last time I checked, they lived in a villa downtown with two Labradors."

Bad idea to go there: reminiscing Tiffany hurt even if the scar she left was quite healed. But Ellen fell hard for that girl, she saw a future with that girl...unlike Tiffany. The upset look on her face when Ellen asked her to be her girlfriend and the smile she had showing an engagement ring to the camera on the social media feed was still like a punch in the stomach. Especially now.

"Once I even got involved with a colleague at the hospital. It ended badly cause well I didn't know she was married" Ellen inhaled sharply and continued. "I-I suppose it's kind of a pattern to me"

Grace looked back to her and the two of them shared a long pained gaze.

Anna POV

Oy Moroz Moroz Oh moroz moroz ne moroz menya ne moroz menya

Usually, long walks never failed to clear Anna's mind and calm her. They always did, before any competition, whenever she was stressed or doubting herself. Now she felt no comfort: she was just walking in melting snow, swaying a bottle of vodka in her hands and singing in a low voice that Russian tune her father used to sing whenever he came home and had a bit too much on the way back. 

The demons that had been haunting her couldn't be pacified.

She shut her eyes as another vision appeared. She could have sworn that Pavel's ghost was near...or maybe she was just going insane for good. But she could feel his presence lingering, his voice encouraging her to toughen up, saying she was stronger than this and no matter how hard it looked now, she would have been victorious. 

Then she remembered that it was what he used to tell her before every competition so long time ago. He would place his hands on her shoulder and gave her pep talks that usually ended up like "Annushka, stop second-guessing yourself. Go out there and be like ice: strong and shiny in the spotlight cause you're the star. My star".

What he didn't mention is that ice can break too and that's exactly how Anna felt like now: shattered, crushed, in pieces.

Pasha...since that cursed day her days and nights had been a series of nightmares and hurtful visions. One moment she was dancing, gracefully flying in Pasha's arms at their wedding party, happy faces and smiles all around then out of the blue a dark bloodstain would spread on her husband's white shirt as all went dark and Pavel would fall on his knees and begged her to help him, desperately reaching for her.

Anna shook her head and took a long pull from her bottle. There was no way out of this pain, she thought as she kept walking back to the church. Why did Pasha have to change? She always knew he was a believer but lately, after the spread of the lethal virus he became obsessed with God and the book of Apocalypse. He started seeing signs of an approaching Doomsday everywhere and when they managed to survived he convinced himself that they were the Chosen ones, they had a mission and a duty to humanity...all that foolish religious rubbish pushed her away from him. He wasn't the man she married anymore.

Then she met the doctor. Ellen from America: kind, brave, compassionate and rational gorgeous Ellen. She had never questioned her sexuality before, was it even an option? Every woman she knew, family or friend, was happy or pretended to be happy with her husband cause "that's how things go, Anja", her mother cut every objection short once. So she obliged, married her sweetheart but years later from that the day she said yes to him on the altar things changed. He changed, she changed. And some invincible force waltzed her into the arms of a woman, an inconceivable thought till that very day. A bond against nature, an abomination for everyone she knew. 

But  Ellen's lips were so soft and her hold so comforting that for the first time in ages Anna felt safe.

And it was all gone now.

She had been avoiding Ellen ever since the day Pasha died. Too much pain to face her, when she bumped into her the previous night it was awful: the look of concern and love in her eyes made Anna bleed even more. 

Maybe Pavel was right after all. Maybe not about the hermit but about the God punishment talk she predicted him for. And Ellen: she surely wasn't a "witch" but could she deny she had been their downfall? All their issues skyrocketed since she first appeared out of nowhere, a daughter of the snowy Norwegian winter. She separated what God united, as preaches and her grandma would say, and what happened? People started dying, Pavel sank even deeper into his religious madness and eventually died. And Ellen was a doctor, funny enough. The moment she kept gravitating towards the gorgeous stranger, tragedies followed one after another. She accepted the love of the gorgeous woman and her husband got shot dead. Coincidences?

Anna hit her head with a fist as if to get rid of all that poisonous nonsense. No, Ellen told her that this was not what happened, just ghosts of her mind, her sense of guilt and grief speaking but she couldn't think straight anyway. Anymore. The succession of days felt like a hallucination and not even sleep could bring her peace, just the opposite. How can anyone preserve their sanity in a situation like this?

Maybe I should talk to Ellen, whenever I feel I can meet her eyes without crying like the weakling I am now, she considered as the familiar silhouette of the church appeared in sight. She's kind and she said she loves me. I gave her a hard time but maybe we can start over again. Maybe she can help.

She was almost there when she spotted two people sitting in the distance yet not too far to recognize them. She couldn't make out a word of what they were saying but they were certainly Ellen and Grace. 

Anna froze in place: lately, she hadn't been around much, mostly hiding in her tent or disappearing for walks and avoiding any kind of interaction with the rest of the group, but last time she checked the two women weren't that close. God, Grace hardly bonded with anyone, she was so busy being the leader and checking everything, organizing their daily routine in the midst of chaos and the journey to the Seed Vault...so how could she be holding Ellen's hand now? Her hand was holding the doctor's one - a hand who once held her close as Ellen's soft lips pressed a kiss on Anna's mouth- and she was saying something that apparently drew a shy smile on Ellen's face. What...what did she say? Why Ellen was smiling and squeezing her hand back? What...what did she miss out?

As the two women shared another smile and broke eye contact to look into the distance still holding hands, Anna stumbled to hide behind a solitary tree.

Even ice can break, she whispered as new tears welled her eyes. I was too slow, took too much time, never be slow Anna, never! Didn't your coaches tell you? Maybe I was so convincing when I begged her to leave me alone.

Tears found their way down her cheeks reddened by alcohol and the chilly gusts of wind that blew like a slap on her face.

Maybe our love was just like snow: beautiful and soft but it melts away when the spring sun starts shining again. Just like snow...  

[marianhellequin]

Nulogorsk.fm - 01: Pilot

[[Author's note: I'm not so great in translating into English. So dear native English-speaking readers, I'll be really very glad if you leave a comment if something’s wrong! Thank you.]]

A friendly northern town where nights are white, days are dark, sea is cold like the hearts of the ancient gods, and arctic lights in their beauty can compete with a mysterious shining, which we are all scared to even glance at.

You're listening to Nulogorsk.fm!

First of all, an important message from the municipal government.

Nulogorsk government reminds that the military community located after the nothern highway exit from A-800 is former, closed and left under the decree of the municipal government from February, 29th, 1993. Noone lives at the territory of the military community. Noone works there. There is no living or nonliving soul. The military community is abandoned, closed and sealed for eternity - they say in the decree. The municipal government reminds you: if you see servicemen without military rank insignia, they are just a phantom of your imagination. If not only you see them, it is a phantom of your collective imagination. Do not try to talk to these servicemen. Ignore these phantoms of your imagination.

It's a significant day here today in Nulogorsk - after many years of repairs, the Palace of Culture is finally re-opened. Surely, all the important citizens will come for the opening, also a short briefing will be held, as well as a concert on the occasion of opening. Concert-bill is still elaborating.I remind you that the Palace of Culture was closed for a few years due to major repairs. The reasons were leaking roof, wall cracks and stucco moldings falling down off the walls. All the rumours about some kind of a way to some kind of an abyss opened in the vaults of the Palace, that artists and workers who stayed late after the concerts heard horrifying, ghoulish howl, which was coming like from every wall and every dark corned, that on the long, dark November days all the building winced and shaked as if because of the panoptic terror - that's all of course just idle rumours, and shame on them who pass it.

Now all the repair works are finally finished, the newest sound and video equipment is already brought, and Nulogorsk cultural life is ready to play out in fresh colours!

So, now everyone's waiting for the complimentary speech from our Mayor Pavel Borovik, who will officialy cut the symbolic ribbon after this. Our Mayor's speeches are always unforgettable! We can just recall his congratulations on last New Year, when he traditionally but in his unique manner wished success, health and luck to all of us, using frozen bull-trout, his expensive shoes in the colour of sycamore and his whole vocal range of 3-5 octaves. For sure today we will all be impressed by his words.Sadly I can't be there now at this wonderful event, but who would then tell you of everything happening in the town, dear listeners?

But I'm sure our new intern Olga would help us! She's waving, you can't see it but believe me as usual. I'll send her to the place for the most precise report, she'll sure deal great with it. See you, Olya! I'll be waiting for your messages as soon as possible!

And while Olga is going to the place, a little bit about traffic.

Due to technical difficulties, the central bus station will be closed from Thursday, 7 a.m. until Sunday, 5 p.m. All the arrivals will overpass. That's what the bus station operator says.

Somewhere far away a giant lorry rips in the highways, and a small woman is driving it. The teeth of this lorry, enormous, can grind a diamond. The lorry snorts fire, and it seems like to be all made of pipes. We don't know where it's coming from. We don't know where it's going to. I don't know what it carries. They say museums explode on the way of this lorry.

A giant lorry rips in the highways far away. How far is it from us? How close? Where does it go?

The bus station operator notices that the station closing isn't connected with this message.

This was the traffic.

To other news.

This morning a group of servicemen with military rank insignia arrived to Nulogorsk. As their leader, a beautiful woman dressed in perfectly fitting field jacket with Major's stars, says, they came because of safety issues. There were no details, despite legitimate questions from the journalists, for whom a short and quick news conference was held. But still there are many questions. What happened to safety in our little, cosy, quiet town? Why now? Why Major's hairstyle is so perfect, and her eyes are looking so strikingly right into your soul?

We didn't get answers to those questions.

Last news, on-the-spot message from Olga! Our Mayor Pavel Borovik has just finished his inspiring speech. He recalled how many events took place in our Palace of Culture, how we celebrated Town Day here, New Year, Knowledge Day, Gnosis Day, Harvest Day... Oh, I remember those wonderful New Year nights! The fun that united everyone, young and old... on such nights, teenagers for the first time tried 16-kopek plombiere ice-cream and "Kaliningrad" champagne! How strongly I wanted then to come back into my childhood and feel what they were feeling: the delight of novelty, the expectancy of unpredictable future and existentialist horror of it's imminence!

By the way about imminence.

"Blacker than darkness" coffee and bake shop invites the people and visitors of the town to try something new, double cake with orange jam and candied peel! Wonderful for to go and to get out, ideal with coffee. If you order the cake and any coffee except espresso, you get vague anxiety until next morning for free! For strict vegans: coffee on soy milk, carrot cake and a feeling of grievous loss. Offer doesn't include orders to go.

Let's get back to the main topic of the day. Just now, our esteemed Mayor Pavel Borovik has officialy cut the lily-white ribbon into thousand of smallest pieces which flew away with the wind just like our young hopes and dreams. Local amateur orchestra played a solemn melody, and doors of the Palace of Culture were opened for the first visitors chaired by Palace manager, Mayor and a representative of the press service of the municipal government. As Olga says, everyone just passed the red carpet covering the entrance stairs and came into the spacious lobby decorated with flowers and flecks from the gorgeous crystal chandelier. The orchestra refused to come in, saying it can make them go out of tune, but as Olga says, their eyes were suspiciously shifty. I wonder, what's this all about? Sadly, I don't have music education, so I even can't suggest!

In the same way, I can't suggest why our humble radio station is interesting for the servicemen with military rank insignia, but I can assure that I was really glad to see Major Andreeva with her perfect hairstyle, expressive eyes and even more expressive body language within our walls. I asked if I could help somehow or buy her a cup of coffee with orange double cake this evening, but seems like Major didn't pay due attention to my words. I think their packed and tight schedule doesn't let them such freedom as coffee. Though, orange double pie...

Anyway, Major Andreeva and her crew were interested in our humble sound equipment and my desk, and also in our regular technician Alexander, which, at the sight of visitors, made a loud hiss, blended into surroundings and quickly left the studio by draining into the sewer system.

And now, the weather.

[Frank Pourcel "Manchester et Liverpool" playing in the background]

It was a tiny cupboard of a room about six paces in length. It had a poverty-stricken appearance with its dusty yellow paper peeling off the walls, and it was so low-pitched that a man of more than average height was ill at ease in it and felt every moment that he would knock his head against the ceiling.The furniture was in keeping with the room: there were three old chairs, rather rickety; a painted table in the corner on which lay a few manuscripts and books; the dust that lay thick upon them showed that they had been long untouched. A big clumsy sofa occupied almost the whole of one wall and half the floor space of the room; it was once covered with chintz, but was now in rags and served Raskolnikov as a bed. Often he went to sleep on it, as he was, without undressing, without sheets, wrapped in his old student's overcoat, with his head on one little pillow, under which he heaped up all the linen he had, clean and dirty, by way of a bolster. A little table stood in front of the sofa.It would have been difficult to sink to a lower ebb of disorder, but to Raskolnikov in his present state of mind this was positively agreeable. He had got completely away from everyone, like a tortoise in its shell, and even the sight of a servant girl who had to wait upon him and looked sometimes into his room made him writhe with nervous irritation. He was in the condition that overtakes some monomaniacs entirely concentrated upon one thing.

A message for car owners. Petrol station number two informs that since tomorrow it will be impossible to pay with deadheads, body parts, saplings and karma. Use cash and credit cards, loyalty points and your immortal soul.

Olga who's on scene tells me that the first visitors of renewed Palace of Culture just walked into the main music hall. She says that the very first step into the large wooden doors made her heart tremble with inexplicable fear of the abyss of the existence. Mayor Pavel Borovik is determined as always.Seems like not everything is ready for the festive program in the music hall. The orchestra pit is empty and has the form of the sinkhole into the primeval abyss. Splendid velvet curtain isn't as determined as the Mayor and in every way blocks artists' attempts to sneak onto the stage and thereby save themselves from something which makes ghoulish... one moment, looks like Olga gives some details... Yes, thanks, Olya. Save themselves from something which makes spine-tingling, paralysing, dreadful howl. We'll make a pause for a message from our sponsor while I'm clarifying the situation with my colleague, stay tuned.

Everything for home and garden in the "Bad Seed" shop! New arrivals of strings, ropes, strands, cables, and also chains made of women's beard and noise of cats' steps! Never out of stock: seeds, sprouts, fertilizers, everything most needed for your homesteading or window greenhouse. In the housewares - new bed-linen arrivals. By popular demand, we returned duvet covers with chase nightmares effect, pillow cases with the paranoid thoughts aroma and sheets spawning invisible worms. Double discount with your loyalty card after sunset on Saturdays, come for shopping to "Bad Seed"!

An important message from the municipal government.Right now the press service of the municipal government informed about Mayor's decree regarding the Nulogorsk Palace of Culture. Due to the decree, Palace of Culture is closed for indefinite term until all the small defects caused by face-lift will be eliminated. Citizens are asked not to come to the building closer than 20 meters, and to cover minors' eyes while passing by the Palace.

The press service pointed out that it isn't connected with an echo of inhuman howl coming from the nailed up windows of the Palace, ghoulish and spine-tingling. With regard to all these cases of revealed breaches, an examination will be held by an independent commission consisting of active concerned citizens, mediums, shaman and Father Evgeny of the Holy Virgin Protection church.

All the planned events are moved to Youth Activity Center and local drama theatre.

Small announcement.

Internship opportunity is opened at the Nulogorsk town radiostation! It's a chance to get invaluable experience, try yourself as a real reporter, and for sure, make a great contribution into the town's public life! We're waiting for your calls, just dial ten zeros on any telephone set or whisper into your mobile phone that you want to become our intern, and we'll immediately contact you! Good luck!

That's the end of our programme for today, but not of this day. A clear, moonlit evening is waiting for the town, and a clear, disturbing night. Don't forget to check if you still have some salt on your cill and if you turned off your kettle. And now, I say goodbye to you.

Until we meet again, Nulogorsk, until we meet again.

Proverb of the day: You are what you eat. You have to revise your vegeterianism ideas if you want to be a human.

[stanprokopenko]

Skull Oil Painting 💀 Still Life from Start to Finish

By Pavel Sokov

Setup and Preparation Stages

Before I start a painting, I like to come up with a couple of thumbnails to nail down the composition. I do these from imagination usually. So in these ones, I played with the placement of the skull, the direction of the lighting, and the orientation of the canvas. After coming up with these 4 thumbnail sketches, I got kind of a better idea of what I actually want from my painting.

Also, it sort of helps to have a thumbnail completed to use as reference when I start my painting because if I don’t have anything to look at it’s possible that when I start from scratch on my canvas, my subject will end up too big, or even worse, run off the page or something.

Composition is a bit of a feeling thing along with some guidelines. It’s not like stiff rules that you must follow. So having said that, I think I like sketch 1 and 3 the most.

You know, since the color temperature plays such a big role, I digitally painted this sketch with some invented color before actually making the setup, just to give an idea of what kind of mood this painting would be. And it also gave me an opportunity to plan some of the painting methods and steps that I’ll use in the actual painting process.

Okay, so with the sketches in mind, let’s put together the setup that I will paint from today.

Execution of the painting

So a big challenge to overcome here with this skull is that I want to paint it in the dark for a more dramatic and moody atmosphere since it’s Halloween and all, but at the same time, I want myself and my easel to be in the light so I can see and we can make this video.

Sadly, the candle doesn’t provide a strong enough light during the day, so we’re going to use a warm lamp instead.

Since we don’t want to burn the house down though by lighting that black box on fire, I think our candle shouldn’t be lit at the beginning stages of the painting.

I’m using a portable paintbox today that makes it convenient for me to paint anywhere I go.

For my brushes, I plan to use a lot of bristles because I want to load this painting up with a lot of thick paint, but I also packed a few softer brushes to get some soft edges in there too.

As my painting surface today, I am using an 11×14 linen panel. It’s actually one of my favorite sizes for life paintings.

I paint with a few different brands of oil paint, but there’s no need to name them or be concerned with what they are. What’s really important about that is that they’re professional grade and they’re not the student grade which are very difficult to paint with. It just doesn’t work, it’s like toothpaste, so just don’t even get it.

Okay, let’s squeeze out our paint. And don’t be afraid to use a lot. For the longest time, I’ve been so shy with squeezing out my paint. It’s been taking me years to paint thicket and thicker, and I gotta tell you, if you can skip all these years of being shy and just get straight into it and load up a lot of paint, it will save you a lot of trouble.

On my palette today we have:

Titanium White, Warm White, Cadmium Yellow Light, Cadmium Yellow Medium, Cadmium Yellow Orange,Yellow Ochre,Transparent Yellow Oxide, Cadmium Red, Transparent Red Oxide, Transparent Brown Oxide, Raw Umber, Alizarin Crimson, and Cobalt Blue.

Underpainting and Drawing Stage

The very first thing I like to do when starting a painting is to tint the canvas. But you have to select your tinting color wisely, because it’s going to provide the underlying temperature to the whole piece. I often let this initial tint show through all the way to the end of the painting, particularly in the shadows.

In this case we have a very warm light on our subject so we can expect our painting to be pretty warm. I’m going to tint this canvas with that in mind by using something really warm like transparent red oxide, and I will mix it with a bit of Cadmium Yellow Medium in the area where the candle will go because later, all this warm underpainting should give this skull a nice inner glow. I am diluting my paint with gamsol here when I do my initial washes, because makes the paint behave like a watercolor, which is perfect for making a stain.

Drawing the Lay-in

Okay, so now that our canvas is tinted, we can start to draw our linear lay-in on top of our stain. My favorite tool to do that with is actually a hard bristle brush. The reason why is that those stiff hairs, they allow me to get nice straight lines which are the exact type of lines that I find helpful at this stage to simplify the contours of everything that I’m drawing and to find those big shapes.

Don’t worry, we’re going to complicate these lines later when we go to paint them!

As you draw your lay-in, don’t forget to focus on the big shapes and the proportions of what you’re drawing. Don’t get carried away on details and things like that because it’s way too early at this stage. Simplify everything to its most basic elements. Find the big shapes and don’t mind the secondary forms for now. It also kind of helps to keep your horizon line in mind when you draw your lay-in. For example, in my case, I’m sitting below the skull and looking up at it.

You have to ask yourself, are you looking up at the your set-up, or are you looking down at it? And, whatever the answer is, you have to design your lines with that in mind.

So if you’re noticing that your drawing is off at this stage, don’t be shy to move lines around until you get it right. Trust me, you’re gonna be saving yourself a lot of headaches if you fix things at this early stage than if you try to fix them later on when you have a lot of opaque paint down on your painting.

So right now I’m filling in the dark shapes on my underpainting because I find that it helps me see my mistakes better when I fill in the big dark shapes. With these dark shapes filled in, it’s much easier to judge the distances on your drawing.

Opaque Painting Stage

At this point I often like to take a kneadable eraser, or more often a napkin, and rub out the lightest areas. This helps me establish the light source a lot sooner before I even lay down the opaque paint. Just make sure to do this before your stain is dry, or else you won’t be able to do it anymore. You usually have about 10 minutes max depending on your surface before your wash dries, so be careful.

My goal here is to establish the big values, shapes and color temperatures as soon as I can, so to do that, I am going to cover the entire skull with some opaque paint, aiming primarily to tell the story of the lighting that’s hitting our skull. I am thinking a lot about color temperature. Our primary light is warm, so I’m mindful that my the parts that are in the light are going to stay warm. Often times, students want to lighten an area, so they grab a bunch of white. White is actually the coldest color, so the result of that is that the value of the area goes up and it does become lighter, but at the same time, the temperature goes a lot colder.

This is actually great if your subject is in a cold light, like maybe a North lighting window. But in our case, our subject is in a warm light, so that’s no good for us. When you want to lighten an area that’s in the light, consider using a color to lighten that area. In this case, to lighten my mixtures, I’m going to include some cadmium yellow medium, cadmium yellow, and transparent yellow oxide in my light mixtures to keep it warm. But conversely, if you want to darken an area, a lot of students reach for the black to darken things, and that creates a cold mixture as well. Try darkening a shadow with a warm dark. Something like transparent red oxide, transparent brown oxide, or alizarin crimson.

While you’re putting down that initial opaque paint, a good principle to work by is to paint the lights thicker and the shadows a little bit thinner. So that means you can’t be afraid to lay down some serious paint in the lights. If you keep the shadows more thin and flat, then the lights are going to feel more luminous in comparison. And I also love to let my warm underpainting show through in places in the shadows.

When you have dramatic lighting like this, you are bound to see a lot of contrast. Let’s make sense of all of it this way:

Since most of our subject is lit, make sure that the amount of values you use in lights is higher than in the shadows. In other terms, make the shadows more flat and have less values, like you could make the shadows just one value so that it looks a lot simpler than your halftones and your lights. As a result, the shadows will have less information in it than the parts that are lit.

I am thinking of the skull as an egg, with the closest part receiving the most light, and the parts farther away receiving the least amount of light. If the underlying “egg” of the skull reads well, then you are gonna be in good shape!

Our halftones are the most chromatic and the most information-dense parts. So in our case they are going to be the warmest parts of the skull. The lightest lights are pretty washed out, but they’re still warm.

Finishing Stage

To see the finishing touches make sure to watch the video below.

[piprocrastinator]

And to actually ask you a question, you said that you don’t believe J9 are dating because of « how they react sometimes at fan meets and lives to certain things. The way sometimes they’ll back away of looks and reactions and stuff. » can you explain this a little more please and with details if possible? Thank youuu!

So first off, Thank you~! 

Secondly, I’m sorry I mean to make this a quick reply but then I realized that I never save anything nor pay enough attention to remember specific events because... I don’t usually have people to actively talk to about it so it’s never seemed important until this moment when I'm trying to remember the moments that I saw so I can link them and I can’t. *cries just a little* So I went and did some research and I can’t find the specific moment but I did find something. 

I would also like to preface that after those boyfriend pictures came out with Nine in the purple hoodie, they may be a step closer. (maybe even boyfriends but it's too soon to tell (I think)) and that this -what I’m sure will be long and tangent-y - is my opinions and onions on the matter not to be confused with facts because that is only for the boys to tell.

So the reason that I didn’t think they were dating was because of a few reasons -including but not limited to- the fact that 1) Joong is so innocent, or fresh when it comes to dating. 2) They are co-workers.3) Though homosexual relationships are more commonly accepted in Thailand it is still something that people have to adjust to (mean that everyone comes out in their own time).

Joong mentions that Nine was his first kiss and hints that he had dated before to focus on other things (I'm pretty sure, maybe that he says in one of the TEP interviews that he hasn’t been in a relationship). We know that Nine has dated before (I think like 4 or 5 people from that Halloween urai event. Because of the delicacy of the situation, they are co-workers it wouldn’t be a relationship that they would jump straight into. that and the fact that Joong has very little experience and Nine has experience. Nine (more than likely from the help of his family) take the advice to wait. their relationship started out at work where they were forced to become close, quickly, for the sake of the chemistry in the show.

I think Joong showing his possessiveness (especially in the beginning) was because he wasn’t sure how to handle the new relationship. From be strangers to people who have to act close. Nine has mentioned that he’s basically like Joongs parent and that he's there for Joong when he feels lonely. This places him in a very important role for Joong. Joong mentioned in a TEP interview that he wanted someone mature and could basically help him into adulthood and Nine took that role. Joong has place Nine into a very important role in his life and because he isn’t used to having someone and he is new to this whole thing (not dating but having someone this important that isn’t a family member) He became possessive over Nine. Which is why they had te fight that ended in shirtless Joong on Instagram and why Joong would get grumpy about ghostships at first and about Nine showing too much skin.

I don’t have a specific moment for his point but it’s more of a feeling or just the general way they are with each other. When watching their lives because they are so close with each other, they tend to pick on each other and knowing that companies will tell their actors to promote the shows they do tend to show more fanservice during the times the shows are promoting ( on a super side note - if you’ve ever watched swapped a Chinese drama Leo and Lucas and the biggest example of this), so I don’t want to take to heart all of their cute live moments but the one from September where Nine is whining about Joong scolding him. that feels friends to me. that feels like really close friends scolding and fighting becuase they are close.  Many of the moments that people think are a couple, in my opinion, is common for friends to do as well. staying over at each other's houses. picking on each other. sharing clothes. As I stated before with relationships in close proximity people tend to pick up on their partners and show similarities. Which is why people see couples as being close because of these things but it also happens with friends. Which is why there are sayings like ‘fall in love with your best friend’ or ‘be the friend first, love second’ (these sayings might also be because I read too much fanfictions). 

There are moments when they are close together that you can see Joongs hesitance for certain things, like during one event (that I can’t remember so I can’t link it ) Pavel pushes Joong and nine close together and they almost Kiss and Joong has a mild gay panic moment while Nine is super chill. Or some of the faces that Joong made during some of there older lives that just indicated he was either confused by the assumption that fans thought they were together or he didn't understand the correlation between them being together and them being together.

However, I think there are moments that feel couple-y. Such as when Nine changes his voice when he talks to Joong. Like in that 2moons reaction when Joong pinches him. Or the cute noise Nine makes at Joong when he answers his call in the bath. Or when Nine purposely teases Joong like about the ghost ships like in the live where Joong went to sit with Nines mom. Those moments feel couple-y because it’s between them, like an inside joke kind of thing. In more recent times moments like when they went to that night event and Joong lost Nine and you could feel his desperation to find the other, that felt couple-y because Joong wasn’t open about it but he did call Nine without the ‘P’.

I think Nine is ready to move it forward, he can flirt and do the couple things and act and be a couple but Joong is the one that needs time. In my opinion, Joong is still maturing and is working through his feelings. He’s trying to understand his feelings which is why he tends to be the one that sulks the most in their relationship.

On a side note, I think Nine is a hardcore switch. What I mean by that is he can be dominant and submissive depending on the relationship or the people he is around. which is why we get such duality with him. With like his sister or the friends (or are girls) we get a more masculine feeling Nine, like the recent beach photos where he’s showing off his arms. 

But we also have cinnamon roll Nine when he’s with Joong. 

or

versus

Nine switchings to match the personality f the peoples he is with is probably one o the reasons that he is so personably and also what attracts people to him. It can also be a little nerve-wracking for someone like Joong, who also attract people but in a very different sense. Joong is like a puppy, a little hyperactive and fun but handsome.

So in conclusion, their relationship has progressed and taken major change since the Full moon confession, and they are still working on it. I think that Nine is ready for it but Joong is still trying to understand it. He is still young and learning. Right now he is kind of following Nine and going with the flow and when he decides to take a step then we’ll know. But Joong needs to take the step because we see a lot of Nine speaking on his feelings towards Joong but not too much with Joong speaking about Nine in the same vein.

Sorry that was super long and I hope it answered the question though reading back over I’m afraid it didn’t... and I don’t know how to fix it.....*gently facepalms*

[marlonazz]

3 Big Questions from The Boy in Struped Pyjamas (ANSWERED)

Should we protect our child’s innocence forever?

Yes we should protect our child’s innocence forever, but the key word is child. As your son or daughter gets older their innocence begins to wither away, and they begin to recognize the responsibilities they have in order to live a life. But solely for children, we should protect their innocence for as long as you can, or forever as a child. We should protect their innocence because children only have one chance at their innocence. This is their one chance to be young and silly and have a carefree childhood. If you take that away from them, then they begin to worry about things that shouldn’t concern them. We all want the best for our children and if they could experience a carefree childhood that would mean the world to them because as they grow older they will feel nostalgic feelings and be proud of the past that they live in. For Shmuel a character in the novel The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas, is a Jewish Child who was living in a concentration camp. He had his innocence taken away from him at such an early age and he began to worry about things that a child shouldn’t have to worry about. 'I'm just supposed to be cleaning the glasses,' he said, looking at the bowl of water in front of him in despair and then looking back at the slices of chicken that Bruno held out to him. 'He's not going to mind,' said Bruno, who was confused by how anxious Shmuel seemed. 'It's only food.' (page 170) 'I can't,' said Shmuel, shaking his head and looking as if he was going to cry. 'He'll come back, I know he will,' he continued, his sentences running quickly together. 'I should have eaten them when you offered them, now it's too late, if I take them he'll come in and—' This quote shows how Shmuel’s innocence has been damaged because he has to worry about Lieutenant Kotler. Lieutenant Kotler is a German soldier and he assigned Shmuel a task with cleaning glass. If Lieutenant Kotler catches him eating while on the job he won’t take it so lightly and he didn’t with a quote. Lieutenant Kotler reappeared in the kitchen and stopped when he saw the two boys talking. Bruno stared at him, feeling the atmosphere grow heavy, sensing Shmuel's shoulders sinking down as he reached for another glass and began polishing. Ignoring Bruno, Lieutenant Kotler marched over to Shmuel and glared at him. (page 171) 'What are you doing?' he shouted. 'Didn't I tell you to 105 polish those glasses?' Shmuel nodded his head quickly and started to tremble a little as he picked up another napkin and dipped it in the water. 'Who told you that you were allowed to talk in this house?' continued Kotler. 'Do you dare to disobey me?' This quote shows how awful Lieutenant Kotler was and shows how fearful Shmuel was and what he had to worry about. If Shmuel were to survive through this and he made it to the age of a young adult, do you think he’s going to have a great memory of his past. Probably not, since he lived in fear and slavery throughout his childhood, unless he digs deep down into his past from when he was in Poland. That’s why it is important to protect a child’s innocence for as long as you can, so that they will not be affected by a bad past in a negative way.

Should we help people even though they are associated with the opposition?

Yes, there is no reason not to help out someone unless they’ve done something to prevent you from helping them. In the novel The Boy in Striped Pyjamas, Bruno decides to help a Jewish child Shmuel who is in Auschwitz. He does this by giving him food when he visits him at the fence. 'I'm sorry I'm late,' he said, handing some of the bread and cheese through the wire - the bits that he hadn't already eaten on the way when he had grown a little peckish after all. 'I was talking to Maria.' Bruno decided to help out Shmuel even though Bruno is German and Shmuel was Jewish. Jewish people and Germans were oppositions at the time but even though they were oppositions Bruno and Shmuel didn’t see themselves as oppositions but rather as friends and one who needs help. There was no reason not to help Shmuel as Bruno recognized he was struggling and asking for food in this quote. He didn't want to ask the next question but the pains in his stomach made him. "You don't have any food on you, do you?' he asked. But these are kids, they don’t recognize themselves as oppositions, they only recognize themselves as kid to kid not Jewish to German or opposition to each other. However, adults can recognize if they’re in opposition with each other. Pavel, a Jewish man who served Bruno’s family as vegetable peeler and waiter, and Bruno’s mother who is German helped one another. Pavel helped Bruno’s mother by tending to her son Bruno after he had an accident on a tire swing. Pavel cleaned the wound of blood and then held another cloth to it quite tightly for a few minutes. When he pulled it away again, gently, the bleeding had stopped, and he took a small bottle of green liquid from the first-aid box and dabbed it over the wound, which stung quite sharply and made Bruno say 'Ow' a few times in rapid succession. After his mother saw Bruno she told Pavel that she would take the credit so Pavel wouldn’t have to deal with Germans possibly punishing Bruno for helping a German. He turned and left the room but was still able to hear Mother saying thank you to Pavel as he walked towards the stairs, and this made Bruno happy because surely it was obvious to everyone that if it hadn't been for him, he would have bled to death. He heard one last thing before going upstairs and that was Mother's last line to the waiter who claimed to be a doctor. 'If the Commandant asks, we'll say that I cleaned Bruno up.' That’s why we should help people even if they are associated with the opposition because they might just help us back by giving us true friendship or saving your life.

How does racism affect our society?

Racism has a very large impact and causes a major effect in our society. It causes innocent people to be hurt in the crossfire of racism due to their race. For example, there is one part in the novel where Bruno and Shmuel, two innocent children are forced to march into a gas chamber where they are eventually executed. For what reason can only be explained by racism. Racism caused these two innocent children to die because of Shmuel’s race. Shmuel in the novel is a Jewish child and is in the setting of World War II. During this time the Germans hated the Jewish people which is racism. Because of this hatred that the Germans had against the Jewish people they were executing them and performing heinous acts on them. Shmuel was an innocent Jewish child. Bruno, an innocent German child who befriended Shmuel was caught in the crossfire of the race war the Germans and Jewish people had caused them both to be executed. Racism also causes our children’s innocence to be destroyed earlier than it needs to be. Shmuel and Bruno, while both innocent, Bruno seems to be the one who had kept his innocence throughout the story. Bruno hadn’t lost his innocence throughout most of the novel. This is evident when Bruno shows a lack of empathy when Shmuel tells his struggles and tries to compare the two’s struggles or tells him how easily the struggle could’ve been solved. For example,'The train was horrible,' said Shmuel. 'There were too many of us in the carriages for one thing. And there was no air to breathe. And it smelled awful.' 'That's because you all crowded onto one train,' said Bruno, remembering the two trains he had seen at the station when he left Berlin. 'When we came here, there was another one on (page 130) the other side of the platform but no one seemed to see it. That was the one we got. You should have got on it too.' 'I don't think we would have been allowed,' said Shmuel, shaking his head. 'We weren't able to get out of our carriage.' 'The doors are at the end,' explained Bruno. 'There weren't any doors,' said Shmuel. 'Of course there were doors,' said Bruno with a sigh. 'They're at the end,' he repeated. 'Just past the buffet section.' 'There weren't any doors,' insisted Shmuel. 'If there had been, we would all have got off.' Bruno mumbled something under his breath along the lines of 'Of course there were', but he didn't say it very loud so Shmuel didn't hear. Shmuel as a Jewish child who before was innocent when he lived in Poland, has had his innocence damaged at an early age when the Germans struck. He lived at an age where your innocence should be protected and you don’t have to worry about the other things that make the world awful, but sadly he does have to worry and this is an example of him being worried about the world around him. 'I'm just supposed to be cleaning the glasses,' he said, looking at the bowl of water in front of him in despair and then looking back at the slices of chicken that Bruno held out to him. 'He's not going to mind,' said Bruno, who was confused by how anxious Shmuel seemed. 'It's only food.' (page 170) 'I can't,' said Shmuel, shaking his head and looking as if he was going to cry. 'He'll come back, I know he will,' he continued, his sentences running quickly together. 'I should have eaten them when you offered them, now it's too late, if I take them he'll come in and—' . That’s how racism affects our society as shown from the book.

[comicteaparty]

June 1st-June 7th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from June 1st, 2020 to June 7th, 2020.  The chat focused on Phantomarine by Claire K. Niebergall.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Phantomarine by Claire K. Niebergall~! (http://www.phantomarine.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until June 7th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

copperine

Ooh I'll answer a few asap!

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

As another creator/reader, I feel Phantomarine has a lot of good parts: 1. So it starts off thrusting us into the middle, which is unique. Even though we are underwater, the creator gives delightful warm palette. You can identify the spooky 'evil spirits' from the protagonist without the page looking cluttered. 2. I quite enjoyed Ch 2 (The Horizon Child) where I'm presented with more world building and how the story ties with the Red Tide King's lore. My favorite part is the Fracture Day Festival, the colors and the clever plot tactics written. 3. As for character(s), I love Phaedra's noble character. She is a future Queen and has a heroic presence. I also like Vanna, seldom I see great parent writing as her. She is both nurturing and an intelligent doctor. I admire how Lady Lazuli ties her job to Paval's condition. I have a soft spot for silly Paval, his character is both silly yet wholesome (he's not bratty <3) 4: So far, I enjoyed Cheth's interaction (in Ch 1) it told alot about his character; his tendency to shapeshift into different forms. I like his unusual character, hitting my nostalgia buttons for a good villain.(edited)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

For themes, it seems to explore family grief and sacrifices within the chapters I read. To have a stable life, one has to endure hardship such as Phaedra taking on the burden of her father's role. I enjoy reading that life philosophy theme not often explored in web comics. Also Vanna and Paval's interaction gives me good family vibes 7-8. I feel Phantomarine storytelling is intricate and expresses the vibe of an experienced creator. Tackling multiple plot points, stringing them into good beats; is tricky but Lady Lazuli pulls it off almost effortlessly. Initially chapter 1 left me with questions and it starts to reveal itself as the story progresses. I came into the story following Phaedra's adventure and will be in for the ride. 5. I have some favorite illustrations: this one http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/the-horizon-child/2-27-the-maritime-fair/ I love the colorful festival. and also the opening page was quite impressive with the crowds of souls, where they become silhouettes, yet convey enough visuals. I LOVE this page in Ch 3 (Fata Morgana), the way the words 'RUN' echos through http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/the-fata-morgana/3-33-the-dark-shoreline/ There's alot of things I like about it: pacing, the plot progression and as I struggle with stringing multiple plot points, I marvel at this skill in the comic.(edited)

Miranda

1. I love that the stakes are high after just a couple pages. There's no dallying and it draws you in so well. Also Cheth is just fantastic and his introduction is so well done! 2. I really loved Pavel eating pancakes and Pavel hiding in his stuffed animal hammock nest to point out a few scenes. It's so hard to choose a favorite moment, but sadly I'd have to say the end of Chapter 3 and just how that all unfolds. 3. GAH! Pavel? Ya...Pavel. Cheth is wonderful, but I feel like Pavel is so young but already has such an interesting personality and I love his spirit. 4. I really enjoyed Pavel and his Mom. But Cheth and Phaedra's interactions were very entertaining. But Pavel and Vanna are just so close and supportive it's just heartwarming sniffle because I know what happens And the warmth and love there stands out a lot against the harshness of the "convent-like" place and Halea's temple, etc. 5. OMG. where to start? I don't even know. I love it. I love the colors. I love the designs. I love the pages with all the tiny little details, they are wonderful. But I think one of my favorites is: http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/the-fata-morgana/3-34-the-prayer/ because I love the contrast between Pavel and Cheth and I think there's just a whole bunch of emotion in this page. 6. This might not be a purposeful theme, but in general I've caught a theme of how danger and bad stuff is handled and I love seeing such strength in all the characters. Phaedra with he just outright defiance, Pavel with his positive outlook and Vanna with love and compassion but also with a analytical mind. They all handle tragedy and loss in their own ways and it's very well done. 7. Everything. This is a very difficult question. 8. Use of color and characters that all stand out from each other.

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

cracks knuckles Alright, let's GO! 1. I loved how we immediately know the stakes. We see Phaedra's personality in the challenges Cheth offers, and we know that she's well aware of the situation she's in. It gives it a mythological feel, of the hero in the underworld fighting to the surface. Only this time, there's a caveat; she's still technically an underworld denizen, but allowed to roam the land of the living. The colours set the mood very well too; I loved that the Red Tide King's ghosts were all rimmed in red, while the protagonist were either yellow or blue (diametrically opposed to the red.). And of course, Cheth; he's a wonderful villain opposed to the protagonist, and they have great rapport.

2. Oh dear, there are several to choose from. My favourite one so far is when Cheth asks Phaedra how many people were made into orphans after the war. It was that scene that immediately made me hooked onto the story; a story that went there and isn't afraid to go to that deep, dark place will always get me to keep reading. Another more minor moment was when Eddy was revealed to bully Pavel due to not having his family visit him; it's a great way of having an antagonist show that they are not truly all dark; rather, it's a morally grey area that the characters are in. Even an antagonist can have layers and it makes them seem more human. Finally, Vanna's passing into the Fata Morgana. The scene where she said that she was glad to have saved him, and where they said their goodbyes made me cry. As someone who's had to say goodbye to my own mom as she goes abroad....and not knowing when she'll be back, it hits a deep part of me. I really thought Vanna would be one of the main protagonists.....but alas, it was not to be.(edited)

3. CHETH! Hands down, CHETH! Notwithstanding my bias for underworld cthonic deities, I LOVED his personality. The fact that he reminds me of one of those deliciously personable villains from Disney helps a lot. And I loved how he never let's Phaedra forget that he is a threat, a blue/orange morality villain throughout; he uses his collection of souls to yell at her to be quiet, points out that she's a monster like him, and impersonates her dead father. But he also shows signs of not being a completely inhuman god; like when he shows a slight look of pity/sympathy for Phaedra mourning her father, or when Pavel mourned his mom's passing into the otherworld. Also, I don't see a lot of deities who fluidly go between genders like he does. It makes him so much more interesting, that he shifts into different identities that way. One of the best portrayals of a death deity I've ever seen.

4. Cheth and Phaedra. There's an interesting power dynamic going inbetween these two; on one hand Cheth is a literal god, and he holds a lot of power. On the other hand, Phaedra has shown time and time again to outsmart him both mentally (e.g. winning the questions) and physically (e.g. cutting off his hand). And yet Cheth recuperates from those injuries fast enough to go against her again. It's a back and forth game of David and Goliath. Interestingly enough.....Cheth seems to hold some measure of interest with Phaedra, as if she is an entertainment to him. However, there's also his slight contempt with where she came from, and it's as if however entertaining she is....he'll never forget that. Meanwhile, Phaedra outright wants to kill him....which I don't think anyone can blame her for. It would be interesting to see how their relationship evolves throughout the story as foes.

5. THE ART. IS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. The colours balance each other well, the painting style gives it a soft feel, like going into a new world. But I absolutely, absolutely HAVE to give kudos to the details LadyLazuli gives in the backgrounds and the world in general; worldbuilding wise, it shows strong potential for show and don't tell. Several of these pages can be standalone posters themselves!

http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/king-of-the-red-tide/1-1-king-of-the-red-tide/

Several. http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/king-of-the-red-tide/1-31-the-echoing-graveyard/

I mean it http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/schooner-of-the-moon/4-1-schooner-of-the-moon/

6. One theme I'm really interested in and noticed is the idea of paranoia of the vulnerable/sick. Cheth has brought up the idea that a living soul is needed to help Phaedra; however, as she is a seaghost, many people would either be too scared or repulsed by her to aid her. And the seabitten were generally treated as needing to fear or be ashamed of their own "afflictions". Pavel and his mother, however, seem to take exception to that rule and are more interested in helping or accepting these afflictions, trying not to let the fear and paranoia prevent them from being charitable. It would be interesting to see how this theme develops more, as Pavel and Phaedra eventually meet. Would Pavel still keep to these views? Or will society....or....something else, convince him to fear them even more. Or worse, would his mother's death make him more frightened of the seaghosts?. I can see a lot of parallels with this theme to the lepers and other people with diseases; people were scared to even interact with the lepers and they were considered "dirty". It is a common and sadly still very prevalent theme in real life to this day.(edited)

7. I have to say....everything. It just sucks you in very easily.

8. The strength is that it reads like an epic, and not just any epic....a true to life one. The story and dialogue flows amazingly and the colours are vibrant. Overall, it's exactly how I imagine a perfect seafaring mythological story; sometimes I feel like I'm watching a film. I will note that one thing LadyLazuli nailed is pacing. She knows which panels to have dialogue and which ones to not. Sometimes we get dialogue and other times we're just....enjoying the atmosphere and the beautiful backgrounds. Hayao Miyazaki once clapped his hands slowly, making sure to leave a pause inbetween. That was ma, the emptiness, where there is no noise, but just the peace to enjoy and savour. Where there is no action needed. I think Lady Lazuli nailed the concept of ma perfectly. Because she lets the readers enjoy her world.

SkewricArt

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! The backgrounds and color choices are stunning every single time. The page where we first see the fata morgana, with the off whites and ethereal blues looks absolutely haunting to me and it's a favorite (The Archer, 3.26) and the context makes me wanna CRY but that page is so incredible zjsfskf(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Wow, a mountain of words after the first day And all of them extremely kind. Thank you all so much! This has seriously lifted my spirits today

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

You are welcome, Lady Lazuli! I binged in 3 days. oh dear I feel like I was writing a book review more than a Q&A at this point (edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

These honestly feel like book reviews! Extremely passionate book reviews It’s a wonderful sight. And it helps me know what people respond to, and how they respond to it. I will be going back and reading these like direction notes, ohoho~

RebelVampire

What I like about the beginning is kind of how much world lore is snuck in. We learn a lot about Cheth, the state of the sea, how death works, get name drops of other people like Cheline. So without having this long narrative about the world, we get to know a lot about it in the conversation without that necessity. For favorite moment, it's probably when Pavel and Vanna met Halea. Cause I've never seen a scene scream danger at the top of its lungs or feel a child was so threatened by anything. My favorite character at the moment is definitely Pavel. Pavel is just a cute boy who wants to heal the ocean even as most of the adult's around him say "Nah bro dat bad." I also just think it's cute how much he takes after his mother in regards to his appreciation of science. I also just in general like his design. I enjoy(ed) seeing Pavel and Vanna interact the most. They had a super cute parent-child relationship. I like how Vanna kind of balances keeping Pavel in line while also acknowledging that he's ultimately kind of the odd man out both in regards to his physical situation and his beliefs that he shares with his mom. Just all around I love the artworks color. There's a lot of great palettes, a lot of atmosphere, a lot of great contrasts, etc. All around it's just beautiful colorwork that really knows how to make the mood of each scene and character work. As for themes the comic explores, definitely for me science and the opposition scientific pursuits science can face. It's easy to say "But science", but when people are afraid of science or just don't like new ways of doing things, it can become hard no matter how much promise your work has. And I think the comic captures this really well, while at the same time combining more fantasy elements that still blend together really well.

What I like about the comic's overall story insofar is, as a personal bias, the high stakes political plot where people are getting assassinated, souls are being bargained, and so forth. I am a sucker for that since even if it's not the main focus, it adds a sense of danger and high stakes that otherwise would not be presence. For overall strengths, I refer back to the art question. It is definitely the entirety of the beautiful artwork.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Once my work day is done I'm going to comment on some bits of feedback - before other questions come out soon! These observations are tickling my brain. Some are things I haven't even considered before which is extra fun as an author.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Something interesting is that... right now, I'm not entirely sure Cheth is the bad guy? Like, Pavel noted that the red ghosts don't actually attack people. And Halea is definitely all sorts of suspicious, despite being a follower of Cheline. Yet if Cheth isn't a bad guy, he sure didn't make any effort to convince Phaedra of that. So there's a question of who's actually responsible for all the stuff that's going down (all the assassinations, all the attacks, etc).

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Good point! Not only that.....but did you notice that the Fata Morgana has feathers? Kind like how the followers of Cheline do...

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I think the page where Pheadra reveals it's the year of the bonefish was the moment where I was like "oh, I don't think Cheth's bad. I think he's a lonely jerk trapped essentially by himself at the bottom of the ocean with a bunch of soulless dead people." Just the look on his face on this page and the second one make me think that it hasn't been his year in a long time. Or maybe ever XD which would probably turn anyone into a jerk. http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/king-of-the-red-tide/1-10-mark-of-the-bonefish/

And it maybe have also been that I had just finished rereading His Dark Materials when I originally read this but I very much hope at the end all of the Seaghosts are released from the ocean and balance is brought back to death. And I'll stand by my original comment at the end of the chapter still. Still team Phaedra as a Persephone figure at the end XD

I'm looking forward to actually meeting Cheline. Currently I'm pretty anti-Cheline (because I'm a Cheth apologist lol) but I imagine she will also be complex and neither 100% good or bad.

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

@mariah (rainy day dreams) so it was YOU who made that persephone/hades comment!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

And it maybe have also been that I had just finished rereading His Dark Materials when I originally read this

@mariah (rainy day dreams) HDM is one of my favorite series ever so this pleases me MUCHLY. Absolutely a big influence!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

It’s an amazing book series. For quite a while I imagined what my daemon would have been when I was younger.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

@mariah (rainy day dreams) so it was YOU who made that persephone/hades comment!

Lol yes, that was me XD

@mariah (rainy day dreams) HDM is one of my favorite series ever so this pleases me MUCHLY. Absolutely a big influence!

@LadyLazuli (Phantomarine) It's so good has definitely left big marks on my own writing and I love seeing it's influences other places :3

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I feel Phantomarine storytelling is intricate and expresses the vibe of an experienced creator. Tackling multiple plot points, stringing them into good beats; is tricky but Lady Lazuli pulls it off almost effortlessly.

@Joichi [Hybrid Dolls] This is very kind! This is my first experience making any sort of long-form story, and my first-ever comic but I think my background in animation has given me a crash course in storytelling - how to convey information as simply/quickly as possible while still being impressive and fun to watch. I watch a lot of storyboards all day, so I'm sure that certainly helps! And I don't have any other stories in my head right now, so I guess I'm throwing everything I have into this one. There are still things I’m discovering as I go along, too. I know all the major destinations, but the paths between them are sometimes still a mystery to me. It's like a puzzle I'm solving slowly

6. This might not be a purposeful theme, but in general I've caught a theme of how danger and bad stuff is handled and I love seeing such strength in all the characters. Phaedra with he just outright defiance, Pavel with his positive outlook and Vanna with love and compassion but also with a analytical mind. They all handle tragedy and loss in their own ways and it's very well done.

@Miranda I like this very much. One of the main themes I wanted to cover in the comic is the idea of brokenness. The circumstances that break people, how they react to it initially, how they react to it as time progresses, and how they try to solve it... if they can, or want to. Being threatened by danger and darkness is absolutely a source of fear, and can lead to a broken feeling, so this lines up!

2. Oh dear, there are several to choose from. My favourite one so far is when Cheth asks Phaedra how many people were made into orphans after the war. It was that scene that immediately made me hooked onto the story; a story that went there and isn't afraid to go to that deep, dark place will always get me to keep reading. Another more minor moment was when Eddy was revealed to bully Pavel due to not having his family visit him;

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) YES. I'M SO GLAD.

4. Cheth and Phaedra. There's an interesting power dynamic going inbetween these two; on one hand Cheth is a literal god, and he holds a lot of power. On the other hand, Phaedra has shown time and time again to outsmart him... It's a back and forth game of David and Goliath.

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) I never thought about it like this, but that's absolutely the mood I wanted. A pair of characters in constant conflict, and even though one seems far stronger/scarier, there is more of a balance between them than expected.

6. One theme I'm really interested in and noticed is the idea of paranoia of the vulnerable/sick.

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) A lot of the big emotional segments of the comic are drawn directly from my experience with an illness I developed in my early 20s. I felt like I had lost not just my strength and health, but everything I had worked so hard for. There was also a risk of being physically marked by the illness, so everyone would be able to tell I was sick, and therefore write me off as unreliable or broken. I never meant to write a whole story about that feeling, but it seemed to happen on its own

I will note that one thing LadyLazuli nailed is pacing.

@shadowhood (SunnyxRain) I think my pacing is incredibly fast in chapters 2 and 3 but it's only because I wanted to get back to the main story SO badly. But maybe the things I had to cut were unnecessary. I do like to keep the plot moving; with how long the pages take, I don't have much time to lose!

Miranda

(I have to second that pacing comment. You do it so well!)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

For favorite moment, it's probably when Pavel and Vanna met Halea. Cause I've never seen a scene scream danger at the top of its lungs or feel a child was so threatened by anything.

@RebelVampire WELL, GOOD By the time this story is over, I wanted people to feel physically ill whenever they revisited that scene, knowing everything that will happen. I hope I eventually succeed... (edited)

As for themes the comic explores, definitely for me science and the opposition scientific pursuits science can face.

@RebelVampire Ooh! This was unintentional from the start, but is absolutely something I'm exploring as I'm planning the rest of the story. I like where it started to go on its own, so I'll be doing more of it for sure

And it maybe have also been that I had just finished rereading His Dark Materials when I originally read this but I very much hope at the end all of the Seaghosts are released from the ocean and balance is brought back to death. And I'll stand by my original comment at the end of the chapter still. Still team Phaedra as a Persephone figure at the end XD

@mariah (rainy day dreams) I actually have a couple different potential endings in mind, depending on how the plot goes and how audiences react, so... nothing is out of the realm of possibility here for better or for worse!

I'm looking forward to actually meeting Cheline. Currently I'm pretty anti-Cheline (because I'm a Cheth apologist lol) but I imagine she will also be complex and neither 100% good or bad.

@mariah (rainy day dreams) Can confirm no one in this story is 100% good or bad. That is all I will say. As I scream internally.

Okay, that was a lot. More than good enough for now

Deo101 [Millennium]

Okay, so I finally managed to get caught up on this one. I've been meaning to for a while! I don't do very well with questions so I'm just gonna kinda ramble on about how much I absolutely love this so far. The worldbuilding is seamless, it never feels like infodumping even though a ton has been revealed to us. I'm also endlessly curious about everything that's been brought up. The kinds of themes being covered; Light and dark, Death, Nothing being quite as it seems (Cheth being sympathetic, and Halea seeming like she has some dark secrets...), The trickery, The need to do what's right, Just all of it! This comic is making me think, and that's really pretty rare! (For something to get me to think about it and theorize, I need to not get caught up on anything else... The pacing, the visuals, the way the dialogue is written and arranged, it's all very clear and easy to follow. I might not remember all the names, but I know who is who and I know who is being referenced) It made me cry, and I am so excited to see where it's going. It's really hitting everything I love about a good story so far. Really this is incredible. I'll be trying to keep up with the discussion this week!

I only read it once and I went through it pretty fast so forgive me if this is a crazy theory but I wonder if Halea died, and won back her soul? Or, if she was seabitten and traded more than just her eyes so she wouldn't die. I notice all of the seabitten people have red eyes, and hers being glass would certainly hide that. She also specified cremating phaedra, rather than burying her, and I don't know if that's customary or just cause it took so long to find her, but I wonder if it's partially to try and make it harder or impossible for phaedra to return... Not sure if that would do anything but hey why not spill all my thoughts while I've got the chance?

(now after having said that it's time for me to backread and see if i've embarassed myself)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

does mental calculations No, no. This checks out with what's been stated so far. Theory is legitimate! And... is focusing on all the right things

Deo101 [Millennium]

phew lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Ayy, you finally read it!

Was it as good as we hyped it up to be :p

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah, Ive been meaning to read it i didnt need to be so thoroughly peer pressured... ;)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Sorry I haven't participated in this book club yet ;; I will before the end of the week, I promise

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Also WOW what incredibly kind words again. Thank you!! And did it really make you cry?? I'm always so confused when people tell me that - I keep thinking there's too little story there yet to cause tears

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah ;a;

I work with children

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Maternal love resonates very strongly with me

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Ohhh god. Um... okay... then.... checks notes Have a bucket ready after chapter... six, ish??

Deo101 [Millennium]

so just the line "I didn't know how much it would hurt. How... how did you handle this pain...?" really got to me

(sorry had to go find it so I could get the qote)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

AHHHH

Yess

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

That scene was a slog to get through. Every penstroke hurt.

Deo101 [Millennium]

and yet you say "I'm always so confused when people tell me that"

-_-

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

for me it was these lines

the obvious ones lol

Deo101 [Millennium]

spoiler that

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Maybe I don't think people are getting as hurt as I am

Deo101 [Millennium]

you dingus

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i did...

Deo101 [Millennium]

oh my god I must have clicked as soon as you sent it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

you-

Deo101 [Millennium]

sorry I obsessively click while I'm reading things

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ugh what even is the point of spoiler tags when there are people like you around

Deo101 [Millennium]

people who click every spoiler tag even if they know they dont want whats underneath? or people who click with reckless abandon

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

BOTH

(sorry off topic i will stop now)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah so anyways back to my theories. I need to remember them now, you DISTRACTED ME.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

your theories were too good, i didn't want to be shown up

Deo101 [Millennium]

ugh. I don't remember but it was something about what must have been used to save pavel. It must have been some kind of a relic like the one phaedra needs (which can complete her and her friends souls, again, This would be assuming that being seabitten involves a part of your soul being taken which I assume to be true), something like phantomarine which repels the seaghosts (This would be assuming that seabiting as a disease is akin to being a zombie, which I am less convinced of because it turns you into a fata morgana- not a seaghost, but there could be some reason for that difference), or something with a sacrifice (goes along with my other theory)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

It's similar with me, I don't often see good parent writing with indie comics. (I'd love to read more on good family writing) So Phantomarine convinced me of Vanna's believable maternal nature. I was counting the pages, and you have a good pacing, it has a good balance of world build with showing in pieces. I'm impressed because I've drawn comics for afew years but it's always a learning process whenever I draw a new series, explore new themes. So I admire your skills(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

Also, Cheth suggested that there is not really a way for souls to come from nowhere. They are consumed by the ghosts or him, And in Phaedra's case she had to split her soul among her friends; they couldn't get theirs back, they were gone. I'm at least partially convinced that The relic will be a way to steal someones soul to restore your own, or that there will be some kind of moral dillemma with needing to feed on other's souls to bring yourself back. I don't think it will be a "and then everyone gets out scott free" sort of deal

again I read it once and really fast so I'm assuming a LOT here sorry if im like. way off base

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

WOA

I love that. I felt like there would be something about relic that was too easy

I really like that theory

Deo101 [Millennium]

continuing the last little bit, I think that there is potential, if it was a sacrifice on his mother's part that he is alive now, that pavel is going to start deteriorating and his seabite will begin to spread. I think I could imagine phaedra giving up the part of her soul she has to restore his or something.

okay im getting crazy now sorry GASJDGKLGJSKLGD

depends on what's gonna happen in chapter 6 that rips our hearts out I guess, doesnt it?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

hm, i'm not sure phaedra would do that. i think she has too much of an obligation to her country to give up her soul to a random kid?

Deo101 [Millennium]

well theres a lot of development that would happen before then :/ Just a thought!

im not saying "yeah this is what its gonna be"

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i know

Deo101 [Millennium]

but I think phaedra does have a lot of growing she needs to do, in many directions

and. she's also clearly compassionate towards children. who have lost their parents. just. as an addition

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

@Joichi [Hybrid Dolls] My brain is a web of red threads connecting random pieces of paper The first chapter took me about 2.5 years to complete (I was slow... and Photoshop is slow... and work was overtime-y... and crowds are a terrible idea, please don't do them) so it gave me lots of time to build up the story beyond it. And I didn't post it publicly as I went along - I went back and changed a lot of things as I came up with new ideas. It's only now that I feel comfortable enough to say the machine is 'rolling' But there were some elements that I only came up with, like, a week before posting a page?? The Fata Morgana didn't exist for the longest time, for example, and now they're crucial to the plot. But you don't see me mention them at all in the first chapter I'd go back and change that if I could.

Deo101 [Millennium]

not a random kid I thought it was p obvious that hes the living person who would be willing to work with a seaghost

and then they'll get to know eachother and phaedra is gonna be changed by his big heart.. obviously...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yes of course

wholeheartedly looking forward to them meeting

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

wholeheartedly looking forward to them meeting

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) ...THIS SUMMER

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ayyy

Deo101 [Millennium]

coming soon

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

FIVE YEARS IN THE MAKING

literally

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

STARRING!

A bunch of people who all don't know anything!

Join them in not knowing anything!

Deo101 [Millennium]

hey! all the time and effort more than shows

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it's a reference to all the dang mystery and complexity in this webcomic!

like dang, claire, why you gotta make us think?

was trying to relax, geez(edited)

not even your characters know what's going on

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

only one does

...sort of

......ish

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Cheline?

Deo101 [Millennium]

probably whoevers doin the dang murders(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

...Keep thinking

Deo101 [Millennium]

omg

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

someone we know so far?

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

nods

...Claire STOP NODDING

IT'S DANGEROUS

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

second guess would be halea, but i don't think she knows about phaedra or about the specifics of vanna's research. third guess Vanna(edited)

hey

Deo101 [Millennium]

guy who died I forget his name and hes not in the cast list(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

maybe that's why you got rid of her(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

wait he didnt die my b he was silenced(edited)

thats my guess

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I still need to read the most recent chapter ahh

Deo101 [Millennium]

im so sorry. fish you lulled me into not spoilering. I'll go edit

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oop

oh claire left

did one of us get it right

Deo101 [Millennium]

probably me

imagine us elbowing eachother trying to get through the same doorway, here(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Everyone wins. You all get candy.

But no answers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

cool mail it to me

my address is 2938..

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah i noticed all my theories didnt get answers either... damn. waiting is hard.

fish you've got my address too can you just pass it along, thaaaaanks

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it'd be cool to read the book club back in like

a year or two

:0

finally a chance to doxx someone

what i've always wanted

Deo101 [Millennium]

I feel like this is implying i'll forget my theories. I wont. they live in my brain now.

literally forgot them in the middle of this conversation

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yeah but i might forget your theories

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Go put 'em in the theory channel where I can't see them. Even though I've seen them now OHOHO

I am literally not allowed in my own theory channel

Deo101 [Millennium]

wait WHAT? you made a channel you couldnt see...????

I would die

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

oh what you can't see the theory channel? always just assumed you lurked there

Deo101 [Millennium]

we are polar opposites I will go off about all my plans if someone even hints at me that they want them

maybe i could learn a thing or two from you.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i would too but no one ever asks

Deo101 [Millennium]

I wont. but I'm sure I could

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I do not! I don't want anyone thinking I've stolen their idea, and I don't want my original plans to be changed... so... Off-limits

Deo101 [Millennium]

That's fair ^^

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i thought you had several plans :0

how are you choosing between them?

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I have told the full story to... um... three people so far? And by told, I mean... screamed at them

I have minor changes I can make to the ending, but the pathway to them is pretty much the same!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

woah, okay!

i don't think anyone would think you stole their idea though

if anything, i think they'd feel smart for getting it right!

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah I'd just be like yesss I was right

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I think, before the theory channel opened, I saw one theory that was spot-on

And I was like you children are smart

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

time to look through chat logs

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

HAHA. Best of luck

Deo101 [Millennium]

but there is a history of some people having literally been sued for ppl stealing their ideas from their fanfics and whatnot

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've heard if you send an unsolicited pitch to a big studio they will always return unopened partially for this reason

Deo101 [Millennium]

so its safe for you to not see them.. but I would be sad in your shoes. but I can tell that you're definitely not like me in this aspect. Plus your story is really pretty clearly woven very tightly to be a mystery and I have a feeling you want it to unravel in a specific way, where spoilers would actually change how it's percieved.

vs. yknow. spoilers don't change how ppl read my story. so I get it! I hope to one day write a story i need to keep secret tbh

n youre doing a good job of it, clearly

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yee. It's "aaaaaa" now, but I can't wait to be "WOAH" when secrets are finally revealed!

Deo101 [Millennium]

and then the re read party

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

THough to be honest, I'm looking forward most to character interactions, not worldbuilding details

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm not, I want to know the mystery!!!

I mean im looking forward to the character interactions and all that yadda yadda

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

even just like, "pavel and phaedra meet" is enough to keep me engaged :)))

yeah for me, i don't usually care as much about world details

I'm more like

I wanna see what happens to Vanna!

I wanna see Cheth sad

I want to meet Phaedra's friends

And I want to know everyone's backstories

which is probably not possible to piece together from present plot details

Deo101 [Millennium]

Anyways phantomarine kicks ass and I've already sent it to someone asking them to read it.

also full disclosure I thought that phaedra's name was phantomarine for like a long time

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I am absolutely fine with this.

By Twitter naming conventions she will be Phaedra Phantomarine anyway

Deo101 [Millennium]

I was literally just imagining. one sec.

I need to do an edit. one moment please.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Zelda is a cute boy\

love playing as him

Deo101 [Millennium]

I was gonna edit her introducing herself as phaedra phantomarine but I'm struggling to find the perfect page for it

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Well I'll just have to draw more of her then

I really haven't drawn her looking happy or confident very much yet

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

She always looks so cheerful and sure of herself in concept art

and then in the comic it's like

">:(" "D:"

Deo101 [Millennium]

the range

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

She's just... stressed

A very stressed character

Deo101 [Millennium]

Lord do I feel that

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. In what way do you think Pavel’s story will with connect with Phaedra’s? How might the two help or hurt one another as they pursue their individual goals?

10. Do you believe that Phaedra will succeed in her quest to restore her and her friends’ life? What challenges do you think she will face along the way? Also, what do you think will happen to her even if she does succeed given the shady origin of her death?

11. Why do you think Pavel and Vanna were attacked? What does this have to do with them being given Phantomarine? Also, what might this all have to do with their chance encounter with Halea and the coincidental Fata Morgana attack?

12. What do you think Cheth’s ultimate goals are besides collecting souls? What do you think caused Cheline and Shoshana to banish Cheth during the Fracture, and what might all this backstory have to do with the seaghosts and potentially fixing everything?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Miranda

9. Well I definitely think they will work together to help restore souls...in some way....and I'm thinking Cheth might guide Pavel towards Phaedra, either knowingly or not. Or Phaedra will come to save Pavel. But I think they will work together for the most part and be able to commiserate over their lost parents. Once they get the relic, there might be some tension regarding how it is used. 10. As people mentioned, her soul is split between her friends. I think she'll be able to restore her own soul, but likely at the cost of her friends dying. I agree that the relic Cheth told her about can't be as easy as he made it seem. There has to be some trick to it. I think she's already facing her challenges of trying to help and get help as a partial sea ghost. I think there will be a bigger challenge once she gets the relic for the afore mentioned reasons. I think her coming back will upset certain people significantly. But I don't think know enough about Halea's plan to know just how upset she'll be at that. 11. Possibly, sea ghosts are drawn to Phantomarine, but are unable to get close enough. So they swarm because it's a beacon to them. So while the Phantomarine protected them, it also put them in the line of fire. I'm liking the idea that Halea was seabitten and that ties in to why she has glass eyes, so discovering another seabitten that's survived is going to be very interesting to her. I'm not sure what it had to do with the Fata Morgana attack besides drawing the swarm towards them. From what we've seen, Fata Morgana seem to appear where there are a lot of sea ghosts. But they very well could be Halea's assassins.

12. I think he wants to return/go on land (as he been on land before) and return to his "rightful" place. Maybe they banished him because he was preventing people from passing on properly, so they banished him thinking he would be less able to meddle with the passing on of souls. But obviously that didn't work. I would imagine if Cheth leaves the sea somehow, the souls he's gathered would be able to roam the earth as well, and that could just cause chaos for the living. But maybe it would also require him to leave his souls to pass on finally, leaving the ocean at peace?

Deo101 [Millennium]

I keep thinking about how the sea keeps being referred to as being "broken", and I wonder so much what that means. Could have something to do with the nature of cheth being banished off shore, and perhaps the existence of phantomarine itself? It seems to be linked with the seaghosts and him, and we've already seen prices being paid to gain power, and I assume the price that a god would pay is far steeper than what humans do... And then that leads me to thoughts about why cheth would have been banished. I think he knows something, or his sister wanted more power, or something like that. The people very obviously are dead set against hating cheth and loving everyone else, and I can't help but think how history is written by the Victors..

RebelVampire

My friends, just as a reminder, even if you spoiler tag here (which is fine for the chat), spoilers cannot be hidden in the archives.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Are we not supposed to talk about them? I'm a little confused sorry

RebelVampire

No you can. I'm not gonna stop it. Just saying it as a reminder.

Miranda

I was just spoilering for people that maybe aren't caught up that wanted to read in this channel.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I guess if people read everything after the fact, spoilers will still show up in the conversation's archived state but hopefully no one reading it will be unfamiliar with the comic. At least I hope so. Dunno why they'd be reading the archive and not the comic

Deo101 [Millennium]

Kinda what I was thinking, I was just worried we were being like, edged into "hey maybe stop doing this thing in particular" but idk what that thing would be

RebelVampire

I have no clue why anybody would be reading an archive before the comic, but sometimes people be crazy? XD But again, just as a reminder in case there's super secret information that reveals all.

Deo101 [Millennium]

My theories are too good apparently

I'm kidding. thanks for the reminder!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Your theories are indeed very solid. I didn't intend to write a mystery, but here we are

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Alright! my turn to give this comic more love! 1. The absolute Tension that was created between Cheth and Phaedra, and the fact that we jump right into this conversation involving SO MUCH! It's an incredible way to start off with so much intrigue and suspense as to what happened with Phaedra, her crew, her father, her family- and to have it all tied to a challenge set by Cheth to essentially put all the pieces together- sublime! What a way to kick off! 2. My fave is probably the beginning of chapter 2, with Pavel and his wee adventures and curiosity about the sea. It really gives that light to show just how much potential Pavel has about uncovering those mysteries of the sea he so lovingly interacts with (and on the same hand the one who gave him his pain and purpose). 3. Vanna. Hands Down. She's loving, she's fast acting, and she's someone who holds that ground for characters. I also really love Fata Morgana for her design and her energy. Super chaotic and mysterious hunter of death for the red tide king? sign me up. 4.Lady Halea and Pavel! That was such an interesting moment of her being knowing and foreboding at the same time. I can't wait to see what more of a role she plays in the future! 5.http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/the-horizon-child/2-1-the-horizon-child/ This is my favourite panel, along with the entirety of chapter 3's colour vibe. Claire has an incredible way to create and lead with atmosphere and design- the characters and world feel so well lived in and alive. Each page is given breath and love, it's astounding to see! 6. I love the theme of honour and accountability that Phaedra leads with in the beginning. Her drive to defeat the wrongs done to her by the red tide king, and her perseverance to do more for those also affected. Pavel and his themes of hope, light, and a second chance also really strike such a chord with me. He's a character that has the power to alter the decisions of those around him for sure!

7. Phenomenal and wonderfully put together. You can instantly tell that this story is going to be a classic with the way it's set up, and with the care and thought of each chapter reading like an epic, Phantomarine has a lot to offer! 8. There are so many to point out, but I definitely want to re-iterate the design. It's insanely solid and so recognisable on it's own. I love the lore and the thought that was out into making this world as alive as it is!

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

9. I think Pavel is more or less a 'bringer of light' I think his decisions will cause major rifts in the story, and help Phaedra through looking at her situation with a different perspective. I think he's a really strong character! 10.I do believe that there is going to be loss and love along the way, like any long journey. The amazing thing about this is the possibilites of their actions, and where Phaedra may actually end up in the end. Her firey personality certainly can be her down fall to a degree, but I think that her goal will be reached in the end, though perhaps not in a way she expected ! 11.Vanna certainly knew more than she let the readers know, and Fata Morgana (and cheth) knew of that potential on that island. Im also feeling like Lady Halea, shady as she is, knew about such a possibility of an attack (but that is based on my own personal hunches !) 12. Cheth misbehaves and he's ready to make some waves in the water (literally ) I think he's ready to strike against his imprisonment, and Phaedra and Pavel are his 'potential pawns' along the way. I don't know if he is really behind a larger part of the plot, tbqh, and think that he's more so an opportunist who's ready to get out of time out. Halea and the gang on the other hand strike me somewhat differently

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Krispyyy these are all so lovely AHH

And some your readings are spot-on I’m so glad

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I think peoples’ reaction to Pavel is such a pleasant surprise. I was very unsure of adding him initially, and some people have said that seeing him right after ch 1 made them worried to keep reading... but he’s absolutely the link between the two conflicting sides of the world. I honestly tried to think of kid characters I liked in various forms of media, and ones I DIDN’T like. I considered him a challenge, and I wanted to do right by him. If Phaedra is the brain of the story, and Cheth is... whatever Cheth is... then Pavel is absolutely the story’s heart. He’s so important.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I did find Pavel as a good refreshing take on the 'energetic boy lead' or deuteragonist in this case. At first I thought he was that usual rascally boy who does what he wants. I think of Hogarth in Iron Giant. But the nice bits of sympathy you put into him, made him a stronger character.(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Hogarth is pretty much a perfect child character in my mind. Still learning, still reckless, but capable of understanding deeper concepts than most would expect. His naïveté drives the story, but not in a bad way.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I absolutely love Pavel. He rings true to the kinds of children i work with, rather than the endlessly annoying types that are for some reason more typically depicted

Granted some kids are annoying but not usually how they're shown to be

Miranda

Oh Hogarth. I love that movie

But yes. Pavel is such a great character. There's so much to him and he's only a child but it doesn't make him seem less childish...if that makes sense

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Yes or you didn't run into the issue of him making adult choices even though he's a child. He feels like a geninine child character. I second with loving Vanna(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I admit at first I thought, oh no, unrealistic child character, but I kept reading to see Phaedra. But then you really proved my first impressions wrong as the chapter went on

Also, Vanna

Vanna's great too

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Pavel has actually skewed a lot more toward Aang from AtlA. He doesn't have this grand destiny on his shoulders, but in terms of his maturity, and trying to see the good in things, that's absolutely him.

And yes, Vanna is absolutely essential to his character. I specifically wanted a scene where she had to turn on the mom face. Pavel's not perfect, even if he's well meaning. He still has to be careful.

Miranda

ya, maybe that's it. He doesn't have the weight of the world on his shoulders like most kids in shows these days. He just has kid problems.

copperine

I love Pavel, he feels very genuine to the world and his life

copperine

He feels very confident and naive at the same time, which is something I relate to (from when I was a child anyway) but I don't see portrayed as well and real-feeling that often

spacerocketbunny

Ok FINALLY JOINING THIS TEA PARTY, here we go: 1. Phantomarine has an incredibly solid start, from foundations to characters to motives, everything is so concrete and CLEAR. We enter in with huge stakes and high tension, it's immediately gripping and very effective! 2. So far is the introduction of the Fata Morgana! The chapter starts pretty tense and it goes from "can we trust Halea?" to "OH NO WE CAN'T AND EVERYTHING JUST GOT 100 TIMES WORSE" Wonderful execution on this scene, it's tragic and all the heavy hitting moments and spot on! Plus I love the FM's design it is just so GOOD 3. My favourite would have to be Halea so far! There's a lot of shifty mystery behind her and I'm super intrigued to see what her business is all about. Also would it be fair to say that the Fata Morgana is an instant favourite at this point? might be soon but have I mentioned that I love that design yet? LOL 4. Cheth and Phaedra I think is just a no-brainer there.The tension, the drama, the high stakes, Phaedra's conviction and Cheth's underhanded tricks, it's all there folks 5. The art is so fluent and feels like a beautiful whimsical puzzle that all fits together so perfectly. The environments are solid and thoughtful, the character's expressions are clear and amusing, it all just goes together wonderfully

spacerocketbunny

There's so MANY strengths for this comic, it's fun, it's beautiful, the pacing is impeccable and the characters are so strong and unique to each other. Everything about it is just so MEMORABLE, there really isn't anything I don't like about this comic. it's the kind of work that you can see getting easily adapted into animation/movies/WHATEVER it just has everything going for it honestly!

I'm not super great with speculating about events and all that but I will stand on top of a mountain to SCREAM MY PRAISE FOR IT

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

SPACEEEEEE

Would you actually like to know something fun about the Fata Morgana? TOO LATE I'm gonna tell you anyway

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

TELL US

copperine

YES

TELL US

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So just before I had finalized the design of the Fata Morgana, @FeatherNotes(Krispy) had sent me this guest art for the hiatus

And I was like........ that's a freaking awesome motif I haven't thought of. Like a cursed halo.

copperine

a cursed halo.

@LadyLazuli (Phantomarine) yes

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So... I had the mummy/bandage motif already set, but I knew it needed more. So I slapped some of those rectangles all over the fata morgana as... like... cursed jewelry that evoked the same mood as those divine bands.

SPOILER

ET VOILA

copperine

Omfg

That's incredible

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I couldn't do a full halo, but I could do lots of smaller ones

I loved that idea so much. Like... black bone jewelry, mourning a dead king

And I was like SOLD

So congratulations. Cartridge directly influenced a major design in Phantomarine

copperine

God, I aspire to that kind of thing

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Ditto......damn

and it's one of the best designs too....

okay...gonna try my hand at round 2

spacerocketbunny

YAY OH MY GOSH THAT MAKES ME HAPPY

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

9. I believe that Pavel will be that living soul that helps Phaedra find the relic. But here's the thing....he just lost his mom to sea ghosts. The question is that while he's usually really helpful....would a part of him be scared of the seaghosts, and in extension, Phaedra? Would Phaedra be positively influenced by Pavel too?

Furthermore, Pavel and Phaedra both lost parents in violent ways; Phaedra lost her father last year, while Pavel just saw his mom seabitten and vanish. I think they can gain solace/a sense of camaraderie from that common factor.

10. Even if she does succeed, she'll always have people try to kill her. I wonder....I really wonder....if she'll consider abolishing the monarchy in place of a democracy for the islands. Phaedra seems to want to save everyone, but like other people have mentioned.... what if she can't? I think she's going to lose someone....and if it's not her, it'll be someone

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Ohhmyy gaoihhhgs that is so cool Claire!???? Im so happy that that inspired u to make....the Bae even Bae-er

copperine

@FeatherNotes(Krispy) you're famous

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

11. Halea seriously....she gives me the creeps. And I think the Phantomarine was supposed to protect Pavel and Vanna from being attacked or seabitten. But unfortunately, someone wants to silence them....and Vanna wasn't close enough to the phantomarine to be protected. I think as soon as she saw Pavel was still alive, she didn't like that....that someone who was seabitten hasn't been taken yet.

If she IS in control of the Fata Morgana, or specifically, CHELINE, wouldn't she want more to flow through the ranks. What if they found a treatment, or worse, a CURE for the fata morgana? Doesn't that mean their assassin army could be diminished? What if it meant, I don't know.... less power for Cheline? If there's one thing that the gods in Phantomarine don't seem to like, it's their power being questioned.

12. Deo made some VERY good points. Cheth strikes me as a trickster god....but he's also not stupid. What bothers me is that he's not an omniscient god; he is only tied to whatever the ocean tells him. But like Deo said...what if that's the point, to prevent him from knowing more? Was he banished because he wanted more power? Or was it because he knew too much AND opposed Cheline?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Man... I have a theory for something that might happen later down the line, but it makes me sad

Vanna returns as an assassin

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

I wonder if Cheth/Cheline have had an arms race and they are trying to outcompete each other....somehow. And thousands of years ago, Cheline won. Because she had a mortal on her side. But this time....maybe Cheth is trying to use Pavel/Phaedra as his mortal champions now, just like how the Greek gods used their champions in the Trojan war. Like someone said....Phaedra and Pavel may just be pawns in Cheth's great scheme of things, and maybe he ultimately wants to be free of his chains.

Also....who said that the relic ONLY brings back seaghosts? What if it can bring back Cheth too? Maybe Cheth is just using Phaedra to bring him the relic so that he can escape the sea. Food for thought.

@snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) with how the panels introducing the Fata Morgana seemed to mirror Vanna's face.....I think you might be right. And she'll try to kill Pavel.

It's a lot easier to kill someone if they're frozen in fear.

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

ok I've only read chapter 1 so far but I'm just bowled over by the sheer beuty of the comic. Going to try for the first round before going on to the next chapters just because I want to gush about it a little.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Snuffy... I had the same thought

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

1. The opening scene is an instant win. The challenge and how the dialogue naturally reveals the stakes and the strengths and weaknesses of both Phaedra and Cheth make for one of the best openings I've ever seen in a comic, print or web. Just amazing. 2. Favourite moment in Chapter 1 was the turning point- right after Phaedra won her bet, and how she crossed a line that leads to a pretty underhanded emotional attack on the part of Cheth. Master strokes. 3. As a favourite character I have to go with Cheth, though I like Phaedra as well. he's just so deliciously sleek and evil, and his shapeshifting and soul possessing are very entertaining- thanks to the wonderful art that illustrates it. Great work. 4. I haven't seen more characters yet than Cheth and Phaedra but their interaction is superb. I will be surprised if I get to prefer another set and not those two interacting going forward. 5. The art shines the most when Cheth does his thing with the various shapes he takes and souls he wears. Going to hold on answering the other questions until I've read some more.

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

Finished reading through, but it's 2 am and I won't be coherent answering questions. Gotta wait till tomorrow but I had to say, what a compelling tale. So glad I got to read it. Bookmarked to stay on for the ride. Congrats!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

You're very kind. Thank you

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

6. I think there's nuance on and about a wide range of issues. From religion and faith to politics and bias, discrimination and the fear of death. Complicated, fascinating stuff. 7. I like how characters feel alive, each with their own agency. I also like how it might come down to a competition on who actually is the villain- don't want to spoil anything. 8. The comic's strengths are many- art, plot and dialogue deliver an engaging story with good suspense. I'm a sucker for suspense, so I'm hooked (edited)

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

9. It seems Pavel might be the living person Phaedra needs, with enough quid pro quo to keep them on the same team at least for a while. 10. I'm not actually sure. I'm leaning towards 'yes' but the story might surprise me. If she resurfaces alive, she will have to deal with plotters in her court for sure, and perhaps uncover truths about their clergy that will be ...let's say at least uncomfortable. 11. I think the attack has everything to do with their chance encounter with Halea, considering the warnings they were given. I also have this inkling that their connection to the throne might be a bit more complicated that the average islander's there, which is why they were told to run and hide. 12. Cheth reminds me of Loki a lot (including the male/female ghost wearing) so I'm assuming he pulled a prank or attempted something that potentially would break the world, or some such thing, which got him banished. I'd expect his goal is to escape his banishment, which might then make him more likely to be a big and deadly threat. The seaghosts I think are connected to him directly which is why he knows everything in the sea, or some such thing. But I'm still forming my own theory on that so I can't say I feel confident making any kind of guess on that!

Once again, congratulations @LadyLazuli (Phantomarine) I thoroughly enjoyed this.:)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

7. I also like how it might come down to a competition on who actually is the villain

@Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight) Ooh. Maybe there are still two! And it’s just a question of who is worse

12. Cheth reminds me of Loki a lot (including the male/female ghost wearing) so I'm assuming he pulled a prank or attempted something that potentially would break the world

@Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight) The Loki/Lady-Loki similarity was something I realized far later than I should have. It’s totally true! Might have been a subconscious influence. I always thought the idea was awesome

And thank you very much again for checking it out!

RebelVampire

Given that Phaedra is basically a ghost and Pavel is basically the only person who likes them, it is destiny he will be the only living person who can help her. However, my impression of Phaedra was that, at first at least, she may be overly concerned with her own goals and kind of forget that Pavel is just an adorable boy who needs help. So I kind of feel why Pavel will help her at first, it won't be a two-way street for a while. I definitely think Phaedra will succeed, but I also definitely think that won't be the end of it. Cause there's clearly a conspiracy to kill her. So sure, she may succeed, but then whoops have to stop corruption and the work is never done. As for challenges along the way, I'm sure there's gonna be some occassional Cheth's appearances of mocking. Mostly, though, I think it's gonna be protecting Pavel from the various dangers of the sea. I'm just gonna go definitive on this one with my theory. Halea is the one who had Phaedra assassinated and Halea somehow controls the Fata Morgana. And when she saw that whoops, maybe no more minions, she had Vanna and Pavel attacked cause they were clear threats of power. Cause Halea's power is entirely derived from the fact the sea is broken. If you unbreak the sea, no more power. So gotta maintain that status quo. As for the Phantomarine, I think it's more that in order to escape the dangers, Vanna and Pavel would probably have to travel far away from the safety of the lighthouses. I think Cheth just wants to be not trapped. I kind of feel like there's some unfairness going on here and that while maybe Cheth wasn't the greatest person, but also probably didn't deserve to be cast into the sea forever. And if I'm honest, I think it probably is what made the world worse than anything else.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Solid answers, all of them. Sometimes the strongest theories are the simplest ones

boogeymadam

Oh nO these ended up so long asdfg my bad 9. They’ll probably be connected by a shared-quest. They can help by retrieving things for each other they couldn’t otherwise. We know Phaedra’s gonna need someone to go on land for her and retrieve that Sacred Relic capable of reviving the dead, so I’d be curious to see if Pavel would need the opposite for some reason. Whatever the case, my vague theory on how they’ll connect revolves around Katja! Simply because she seems like the perfect friend for him (and tbh, anyone). And because Pavel seems to like quite a few Seaghost animals like Salty Joe..... and because petting and playing with a fluffy sweet dog is exactly what Pavel deserves Hurt?? Is a more difficult question. I would imagine it’s Cheth related. So far Pavel has shown a lot of sympathy for Cheth and could almost be considered a fan of him based on the costume he wore to the maritime fair. Meanwhile Phaedra has very personal reasons for despising him. 10. Hmm.. Maybe… All the twists and turns in the story so far have taken me by surprise so I really don’t have a clue what kind of challenges she’ll encounter next, or whether she’ll end the story alive. LadyLazuli doesn’t seem to be afraid of breaking reader hearts (and i say that with love lmao). Almost certainly Phaedra have more challenges involving her dad. I’m very curious to know more about him and if he’s as honorable as he seems. If she succeeds, assuming she learns about Vanna’s Seabite cure from Pavel, perhaps she’ll make that a more widespread thing so Seabitten children aren’t abandoned at the aquifier. However, seeing as she was assassinated (or at least Halea claimed she was) she’d probably have to unravel the mystery of whoever is out to get her before she can safely return to the living life, or risk ending back where she started.

11. My interpretation of the exciting latter-half of chapter 3 is this: The instant Halea learned that Vanna cracked the code to curing or at least strongly delaying Seabite, she made up her mind to have her and Pavel killed. For some reason she doesn’t want knowledge of the cure to spread. Perhaps so she has more Fata Morganas under her control? So meanwhile, knowing how Halea operates somehow, Garth gave Vanna the Phantomarine a means of protection, one that a Fata Morgana would not be able to destroy with a bone arrow perhaps. His reasonings for summoning Cheth are very mysterious to me, but I think someone Garth once cared for, this “Snowbelle”, may have had a positive-enough interaction with Cheth that Garth thought “yeah okay I’ll trust you to help my friends” :0c 12. I haven’t picked up on a clear indication of Cheth’s goals, so I’m pulling this mostly out of my bum, but I think it has to do with his skull. It’s on an island so he can’t reach it (unless the lighthouses go out apparently, http://www.phantomarine.com/comic/the-horizon-child/2-21-golden-feronia/ ) and Vanna makes it sound like something terrible would happen if he could reach it. His manifesting and wearing all these other souls, but never appearing close to any of the bonefish imagery makes me think he can’t assume that form without his skull being in the water, but maybe that would unlock some other powers too. Maybe that would undo the banishment, and he’d be free to leave the sea. Which is really funny to me that only once he unlocks fishmode, can he go on land lmao. What he’d do once he’s got that freedom tho, who knoooows I kinda think the relic Cheth told Phaedra of could be the skull, but it’s so... huge… Phaedra and her friends would have no means of getting it into the ocean that I can think of. Maybe they don’t need to in order to revive themselves though?

WAIT i sent that and it just clicked for me that seaghosts can go on land but Cheth can't so whether or not the lighthouses go out, that skull's off limits. but still.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

boogeymadam

13. most looking forward to meeting Phaedra's friends and learning more about the world they live in. Every place we see is dripping with character and a unique atmosphere and unexpected purpose, like the aquifier vs. the venue Vanna and Pavel were in at the end of the maritime fair. 14. It's just such an absolute treasure of a comic, one that is immediately so intriguing that I couldn't have stopped after the first page if I wanted to. (And with a premise and style like this, who would want to!) Its tone is whimsical and a wonderful balance of heartwarming and heartbreaking. Makes me feel nostalgic for old animated movies. Also the pacing great! Phantomarine can pour so much progress and into a single bubbly page and then others have thoughtful pauses that allow for plenty of breathing and digesting of that information. Aside from it being just overall enjoyable, it's also great learning material~

Miranda

13. Honestly, right now I’m really excited to see Cheth and Pavel interact. But besides that I’m looking forward to Phaedra and Pavel uniting 14. KEEP IT UP YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU! WE LOVE YOUR COMIC AND IT BRINGS JOY TO OUR HEARTS. But seriously. It’s a work of art and you are telling an amazing story in a spectacular way.

Ryccomics

I eschewing the prompts I cannot find them anymore. Good: First, love the art, and color scheme. Second, probably the best backgrounds I have seen in a webcomic, they useful for the telling the story. Love the crowd shots, and the people in the crowd being detailed and different. Pavel’s design quite unique. I really adore the self-contained story of chapter 1, it set up main character, their goal very efficiently, and at least temporary villain (we’ll see about that later). Chapter 2 and 3 I was little less keen on, now we are focussing a different set of characters, and I am waiting for the stories to re-converge. Although, the Vanna death(?) scene was very well done. Most of dialogue has this will matter later tone to it. I feel confident the story has a direction, and a route to get there (this very important given the nature of web comics).

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

13. I'm looking forward to Phaedra and Haldea interact. That should be juicy. 14. Just keep on going. You're doing great!

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

13. I can't wait to see the lore unfold in Phantomarine. It's a world that I want to keep exploring along with the protagonists. And I do want to see how the crew would react and cope to being seaghosts and what that would mean for their relationship with Phaedra. And of course, Cheth. I want to see more Cheth. 14. Claire, your webcomic is amazing, and just want to say that you're doing a wonderful job with it. Please keep up the good work, and I look forward to reading and drawing shitmemes for it

eliushi [a winged tale]

Everyone has already said so much more eloquently of what I wanted to say! I also love the very creative use of typography and background art as Pavel ran through the house to escape in the last chapter. Excellent suspense and tension! As always, looking forward to more!!

Jiblish

Ahhhh I’m late but 13. I’m really looking forward to seeing all the threads come together and seeing all the tension that has been building up unravel. It’s always cool, in stories with different viewpoints happening simultaneously. to see them all crash into each-other. More specifically with Phantomarine, there’s so much we feel like we know and don’t know so it’ll be exciting to get more pieces to the puzzle about people’s true identities and intentions as time goes on. Oh, also, I hope my man Garth is doing okay haha 14. I’ve said this before, and people have said it here, but you can tell this story was crafted with love and somebody with the intense desire for good storytelling. It’s wonderful. Keep doing what you’re doing! We’ll be excited for whatever you cook up next

RebelVampire

I am looking forward to learning more about Cheth cause I really feel like there's something deep just under the surface that's waiting to burst out and scream surprise. As for final words, this is all around a beautiful comic with some really interesting lore with lots of detail and thought put into it. And I think that along makes it worth a read even if it's not your cup of tea!

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Im looking forward to seeing how Pavel really develops. I've said in my questions before that I believe he's a character that has the power to alter and change the course of events-! I think he's going to really turn Cheth on his head with these next new pages too. Also, Fata Morgana is DEF a fave, i want to know so much more of her purpose in the cogs and gears that turn the story U-U All in all, i cannot express how much I truly love this comic. I discovered it a while ago and was instantly hooked with the visuals, characters, and power of story. There's definitely a sense that Phantomarine will easily become a classic amongst the webcomic medium, and that it's certainly a work of art to keep tabs on!

eliushi [a winged tale]

I love the comic layout, the colours and the theme of Phantomarine! It really feels like I’m watching a show since it’s so polished with great movement between each panel. I’m super looking forward to all the character developments and unraveling more mysteries

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I wanted to thank everyone for your kind words before this Book Club officially closes up. I've jumped into the webcomic community without much prior experience or exposure, and I've been amazed by the outpouring of kindness and guidance from everyone I've met, including the people here. Thank you for all the encouragement this week - to me, Phantomarine's story is just barely getting started, but to know it's already this well-received is very affirming (and a little overwhelming!). I consider it my duty to deliver a satisfying story from here to the end, and I'll keep aiming for that goal until my job is done. Big hugs from me, and thank you very much for the feature! I'll have a blast looking back on this in the future

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Phantomarine this week! Please also give a special thank you to Claire K. Niebergall for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Phantomarine, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://www.phantomarine.com/

Claire’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/phantomarine

Claire’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Phantomarine_

[xcziel]

Multi-Fandom Slash Fic Recs: Long reads for your quarantine needs

Was gonna add my own 2 cents for each rec, but it got long and I'll never post if I have to think about it anymore - may edit to add more commentary. Suffice it to say, these are all great long reads, not much angst, some smutty some not, highly improbable levels of things-working-out because it's fanfic and that's what it's for. Feel free to troll through my AO3 Bookmarks as well.

The One Where They're Stars on HGTV Series

earlgreytea68

Inception: Arthur/Eames

AU, 466,359 words 9 works Complete

Summary:

"Have you ever seen "Love It or List It"? In which Arthur is the real estate agent and Eames is the designer.

Eames is certain that they will excel at being celebrity judges.

Arthur is not so sure.

But then, that's usually how their relationship goes."

My 2 cents: Just what it says on the tin: Arthur and Eames are HGTV stars of a show which pits straightlaced realtor Arthur against flamboyant designer Eames, but the new show they're embarking on will give them a chance to work together. Arthur has his reservations - not least among them the surprise arrival of Eames' superficially charming ex. Eames, of course, has all the confidence in the world. Featuring fun design challenges, mildly insecure Athur, fluffy confidant Ariadne, reality show 'backstage' melodrama, Arthur becomes a meme, Eames fantastical decorating schemes, a Matt Bomer lookalike complete with fedora (trilby), and acres of gauzy romantic fluff.

We Begin Again Series

katherynefromphilly

Merlin: Merlin/Arthur

316,197 words 4 works

Summary:

"For many long years Merlin waited.

For the other part of his soul, for the other half of his life. He was born to serve Arthur. So that meant he was also born to wait. Even if it took a thousand years. Even if the wait seemed never to end.

Until one day, suddenly, it did.

When Arthur stumbles from the Lake of Avalon 1,500 years after his death, he finds a world unlike the one he knew. Faced with the loss of everyone he loved, and the threat of impending prophecy, Arthur must learn what it means to be not just a king, but the Once and Future King. Merlin does all he can to guide him, even as he struggles to hide his love for his king, and his fear of losing him again.

Story includes sass, banter, horseplay, & True Love."

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail Series

owlet

MCU: Steve/Bucky

264,438 words 8 works

Summary:

"The mission resets abruptly, from objective: kill to objective: protect

Integration into adult human social dynamics requires attention and effort. Especially with this bunch of damaged bozos.

(A series of interconnected one-shots.)"

2 cents: Post-Winter Soldier Bucky works his own way through. Recovery fic from Bucky's POV, not shippy in the beginning (unless you consider MCU-canon-level co-dependency shippy I guess) and with added 'Avengers living in the Tower' flavor

The Sonnet Series

nekosmuse, afrocurl

X-Men: Charles/Erik

AU, 196,721 words 3 works

Summary:

"Erik Lehnsherr is a visiting professor at Columbia University, as well as an acclaimed and award winning poet. Charles Xavier is a lead researcher with the Genetics Department who is well on his way to tenure. But what happens when Charles has to cancel a class because half his students abandon him in favour of a mysterious new English Lit professor? Naturally he ends up sitting in in the class, where Professor Lehnsherr mistakes him for a student. It's really too bad Erik has such a strict policy against dating students. It's also too bad Erik doesn't seem to know how to use Google."

Hollywood 'verse Series

clio_jlh

Star Trek AOS: Kirk/McCoy

80,063 words 7 works

Summary:

"From Variety, June 2008:

Pavel Chekov ("Charlie X") and Gaila ("Bread and Circuses") have joined the cast of small budget drama "That Which Survives," funded by Fleet's indie arm Academy and supervised by Nyota Uhura.

The debut feature from longtime script doctor Leonard McCoy, former show runner on sitcom "Three to Tango," centers on a college student coping with his father's terminal cancer. Chekov plays the son, Gaila the nurse. The father is yet to be cast.

Also attached are director James T. Kirk and producer Spock, the team behind the blockbuster spy-girl franchise starring Carol Marcus, the latest of which, "A Taste of Armageddon," opened last month.

(A modern-day Hollywood AU.)"

A Curious Carriage of Crystal and Cold

Etharei

X-Men: Charles/Erik

AU, 114,261 words

Summary:

"Charles, a miner from a poor village in the countryside, saves the life of Erik Lehnsherr, scion of a successful business family and the richest man on the planet Eisen. Charles is a telepath and somewhat anxious about it, while Erik abstains from relationships because the lights flicker and doors open and electronics vibrate when he gets too excited.

Also featuring a long-suffering sister, a foul-mouthed bodyguard, and a best friend with a heart that is definitely not gold.

In which there are princes, spaceships, long journeys, and old secrets uncovered. (An AU sci-fi fairytale)"

Shadowlord and Pirate King Series

Footloose, mushroomtale

Merlin: Merlin/Arthur

AU, 216,060 words 3 works

Summary:

"A fast ship, a good crew, a treasure, a Clan to lead -- that's all Arthur Pendragon has ever wanted. He sits on the Council, he supports his father's kingship, and he keeps an eye on the Imperial Conglomerate when they come too close to Pirate space.

One day the Conglomerate infiltrates the Clans and poisons the King. Arthur must search for a cure to keep his father alive and the Clans from civil war.

An escape route, a sharp knife, a target, the shadows at his command -- that's all Merlin has ever needed. He fulfills his assignments, he uses the Sterling to sustain his once-royal House in their exile, and wages a private war against the Imperial Conglomerate.

When he learns of an elaborate plot to assassinate him, Merlin does the opposite of what's expected. He flees onto a Pirate ship.

There's a saying among the Pirates: that one's fate is written in the stars. Destiny will always set to rights what has been made wrong.

Arthur and Merlin know that they were meant for the other from the moment they meet. They can feel it from across the galaxies separating them. Nothing can stop them from being together or from fulfilling an ancient prophecy."

Children, Wake Up Series

hollycomb

Star Wars sequels: Kylo Ren/Armitage Hux

non-canon after Force Awakens, 608,083 words 3 works

Warning for torture and past sexual assault (offscreen)

Summary:

"Hux follows orders and loses his way.

Barricaded in the darkness of Snoke's citadel as part of his final training, Kylo Ren senses a disturbance in the Force: General Hux in great pain, captured and tortured by a faction of radical traitors within the First Order. Ren seeks Snoke's counsel and finds him gone. He knows this is a test, and that he must resist the urge to assist the General. And yet."

2 cents: I don't even know. I started just to look at it and then somehow I couldn't stop. Two characters I find wholly irredeemable given back story enough to make me suspend disbelief just enough to enjoy the fic - now that's talent. Features background Finn/Rey and Luke/Wedge if you care about that, and generally has everyone written in a positive light except Snoke, including a surprising handful of of First Order refugees. It's weirdly not at all a dark fic, despite the premise and extreme levels of Force Ex Machina.

snipers solve 99% of all problems

silentwalrus

Fullmetal Alchemist: post-canon gen

HP crossover, 170,861 words, 59 chapters so far, WIP

Summary:

"Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”"

2 cents: Neither of these are my fandom, but I have read all the HP books, so I could get the gist. While jonesing for an update, I ended up bingeing FMA: Brotherhood and I have no regrets. Ed working alchemy-as-science and trying to translate wizardry into scientific alchemical workarounds is all I never knew I wanted. Team Amestris takes JKR's creation to school, with all the swearing you'd expect sprinkled throughout for ambiénce.

[grandtheftstarship]

Way Out There (Leonard McCoy x Reader) [Songfic]

A/n: So this started off really small for the song and then it ended up going nearly 1000 words on after the song ends... oops. You don’t really need to listen, the lyrics just relate to the idea of the fic and are written in, but Lord Huron is a bop and I really recommend it :) If you want to play the song, start the music at the bolded sentence. 

Summary: [y/n] finds out that the Enterprise crashed on Altimid and rushes to save Leonard, her boyfriend.

Word Count: 2226 Warnings: none :) Posted: Tumblr, Wattpad Requested: no

Link to Way out there by Lord Huron.

U.S.S Enterprise Missing.

The headline mocked you, grinning evilly from the page. Your eyes brimmed with tears, one person on your mind.

Leonard.

He was on the damn ship, and if you weren't recovering from Andorian Fever you would be too. Your chest tightened with grief at first, then loneliness then anger.

You readjusted your heading, now walking briskly towards Starfleet headquarters instead of the local Starfleet medical center. You knew Commodore Paris personally, she was a family friend, so hopefully, you could get in quickly and easily.

"Lieutenant {y/f/n] to see Commodore Paris," you told the receptionist, rapping your fingernails on the marble countertop.

"She's in a briefing, but they will be on break in a few minutes," she nodded at you, returning to her computer.

You thanked her and paced lightly in the adjacent waiting room. Five agonizing minutes later, the Commodore and several other Starfleet officials left the room, heading for the small cafe across the street. You rushed to her side, greeting her quickly.

"Do you have any information regarding the Enterprise?" you asked hastily. "Do you know who attacked them?"

"Nothing yet," she replied. "Do you have someone out there?"

You sighed looking down. "Yes. My boyfriend, Doctor Leonard McCoy."

"I see," she patted your shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," you returned, fire burning in your eyes. "Commodore, I'm requesting a ship to go after them."

"Are you crazy?" she asked, eyebrows raised. "I'm not letting anyone out there until we can confirm a safe way through the nebula."

"But Ma'am-"

"No, [y/n]," she said firmly. "Your request is denied. It's not safe."

The commanding officers returning to the briefing room caught her attention.

"I have to go now," sympathy softened her face. "I'm sorry."

She removed her hand and walked back towards the open door. You looked on after her, the heavy feeling of defeat settling in your chest.

Then a crazy idea hit you. An idea so insane, it fell into Jim Kirk crazy. And it could 100% get you fired.

I'm a long way from the land that I left

I've been running through life and cruising toward death  

If you think that I'm scared you've got me wrong

If you don't know my name, you'll know it now

I belong bodily to the earth

I'm just wearing old bones from those that came first

There are many more flames when mine is gone

They will build me no shrines and sing me no songs

Upon leaving the now empty waiting room, you made your way hastily towards the shipyard. You knew that there were a few small scout ships that were manned by one pilot. Filled with a newfound determination, you knew you would do anything to save your boyfriend. You swiped your keycard at the entrance. It was late and you didn't have much time before officers working there noticed a stray engineer attempting a case of "Grand Theft Starship". You tiptoed on board one of the survey vessels, shutting the door and getting straight to it.

I'm a long way from the one that I love

I've been tending old flames, lamenting what was

Drifting in a land time forgot

If you think that I've changed, you know me not

I belong bodily to the earth

I'm just wearing old bones from those that came first

I been unraveling since my birth

Gonna wander out there and see what I'm worth

Find me way out there

There's no road that will lead us back

When you follow the strange trails

They will take you who knows where

If I found a way to stay with you tonight

It would only make me late, for a date I can't escape

The vessel hummed to life, panic spiking through your core. You worked quickly, getting systems online like there was no tomorrow. As you engaged the thrusters, you began hearing the confused shouts of Starfleet officers trying to get you to land. Once you finally left the atmosphere, you cursed Bones and his stupid job. Rescuing his ass was so going to get you fired, and when you found him you were going to give him a piece of your mind. You were able to reprogram the maneuvering capabilities of the small vessel so you could get through the nebula unscathed. At warp three, you carried on.

Navigating through the nebula was one of the hardest things you had ever done. You managed to get through with only small damage to the hull, but your victory was short-lived. You eased the craft out of the cloud, jaw hitting the floor.

Find me way out there

There's no road that will lead us back

When you follow the strange trails

They will take you who knows where

If I found a way to stay with you tonight

It would only make me late, for a date I can't escape

Two nessels were floating aimlessly in front of you, the destroyed body of the ship not far from them. Tears brimmed your eyes as the saucer was nowhere to be found. You were distracted from your astonishment by the small beep of your sensor.

You couldn't believe your eyes. Your scan of the planet below showed you three groups of life forms. One was large, seventy-five to one-hundred or so life signs, while the other two were much smaller. You decided on landing near the group of four, praying the small dots on the screen were your friends and crewmembers.

"Keptin!" Chekov shouted, scrambling over the rocks towards Jim, Scotty, and Jaylah. "There's a scout ship heading straight for us."

He slowed down to catch his breath, having caught the captain's attention. "It's federation, sir."

"Are you sure?" he asked, moving towards Chekov and his tricorder.

"Yes sir," he replied, pointing to the small figure on his tricorder. "I am picking up Starfleet frequencies."

The low hum of your thrusters and the low crackle of you entering the atmosphere drew the group's attention from the small device. You maneuvered the stout vessel to a bare plot of land not far from them, landing softly on the patch of rock. Jim led his miniature crew towards your stolen ship, all anxiously waiting for the metal hatch to open and reveal who was behind the sudden change in dynamics.

The door thudded open whilst you finished shutting down the power to save the small amount of fuel you had left in case you needed it. You nearly threw yourself out of your chair when you finished, anxious to see who was outside.

"[y/f/n]?" Chekov gasped, rushing to the front of the small pack. "Боже мой, это действительно ты!" (Oh my god, it's really you!)

He rushed forward, nearly tripping on loose stones, and tackled you in a hug. Pavel was your best friend, besides Bones of course.

"How are you doing? How did you get here? Are you okay- are you still sick? You should be recovering-"

"Slow down!" you laughed, nudging his shoulder slightly. "I'll explain everything, but you have some things to tell me too, mister."

"Okay, so here's what went down," he began, already waving his arms around enthusiastically. "Basically, I was expertly navigating through this nebula when these teeny little ships caught my attention-"

You smiled at the captain, waving slightly as Pavel babbled on about the attack while leading you across the jagged terrain.

"That would explain the torn up ship floating about up there," you nodded towards the sky. "Thank god this planet is class M. I can't even think about how horribly worse this could have gone if you had crashed on a planet full of toxic gas or something."

"It is already quite a terrible situation," he followed your eyes up into the wispy clouds. They reminded you of those on Earth. "I mean, the attackers took all the crew members that managed to get into their Kelvin Pods. If I had used mine any earlier, I would have been taken as well."

You shuddered at the thought.

"Who are you?" an unknown voice spat from behind you, the hostility dripping from the spoken words catching you off guard.

"This right here is [y/f/n] [y/l/n]," Scotty clapped you on the shoulder. "The best assistant chief engineer one could ask for."

"Aw, shucks," you punched him lightly on the shoulder. "I try."

"[y/n], this is Jaylah," Scotty gestured to the white-faced alien, looking a little ruffled. You waved.

"Is this another one of your mates?" she asked, a little less harshly. Scotty nodded.

"You betcha."

By now, your little group had reached Jaylah's house. They explained to you how it got there, how Jaylah found it, and why nobody else had stumbled across it.

You brushed your fingers over the ancient technology. "Wow."

"There's not even a sickbay?"

Jim shook his head. "Nope. Bones would be pissed."

You giggled. "Speaking of, where is he?"

You knew instantly something was wrong.

"Jim," panic rose in your chest. "Where is he?"

He avoided your eyes.

"H-He's fine, right?"

"We don't know where Bones or Spock are," Jim said finally. "They were in the turbolift when the saucer was separated."

"We will find him, [y/n/n]," Chekov patted you on the shoulder. "Somehow, one way or another, we will find him."

You, Chekov, and Scotty worked for the next several hours to reprogram the transporter modules to allow a person to be beamed aboard.

"Done!" you called from underneath the transporter pad, a low hum of electricity proving your statement.

"Ура!"(Hooray!) Pavel cheered.

"Well done, lass," Scotty congratulated you as he helped pull you out.

"It was nothing," you replied, brushing yourself off. "I mean, you guys helped too."

Pavel interjected before Scotty could respond. "Hold on, I'm reading some... life signs?"

You and Scotty hurried to the panel he was looking at, and sure enough, two life signs blinked back at you.

"Beam them," Scotty muttered.

You turned to him. "What?"

"We can beam them here!"

"But what if they're hostile?" Chekov asked, fear flashing through his eyes.

"Then we'll... beam them back?"

"Wait, there are more coming!" you pointed back to the screen.

"What if they're crew members?"

"That wouldn't make sense, lad!"

When the two of them started arguing, more signs of life began appearing.

"What the hell," you murmured, locking on to one of the signals. The transport sounded a bit more static-y than you were used to but as you and the boys turned towards the pad, a familiar face greeted you.

"Lieutenant [y/l/n]?"

"Spock?"

Before you could hug him (even if he protested), he hobbled off the pad as urgently as he could.

"You must beam the doctor out of there."

Without missing a beat, you thrust yourself back at the panel and locked on.

Once the strange noise faded, you felt your stomach drop in relief.

"It feels like my innards have been to a barn dance," Leonard said, looking a bit green.

"These old transporters were mainly used for cargo, but a bit of maintenance did the trick," Scotty explained, slapping him on the shoulder. "Sorry, we had to beam you one at a time, to avoid being... misplaced."

"I couldn't imagine a worse scenario," Bones looked around the room before letting his eyes fall on your worried-slash-relieved complexion.

Your legs moved on their own accord, propelling you into Leonard's waiting arms. He held you so tight you weren't sure how much longer you could breathe.

Suddenly, he pushed you out of his arms, brows furrowed in a grimace.

"What the hell, [y/n], you're supposed to be recovering!"

His face melted back into worry and he pulled you back into his embrace.

"I'm so happy to see you, love."

You giggled. "I'm so happy you're safe."

He then, more gently this time, released you from the hug and grabbed your hands.

"I'm still mad at you for trekking all the way to this goddamn planet," he scolded, wearing worried and frustrated expressions simultaneously. "Thank god you weren't on the ship or I'm pretty sure I would have died from a damn heart attack."

"I'm fine, you big silly," you reassured him. "But, I'm pretty sure Spock isn't."

His face paled. "Shit."

He placed a quick, chaste kiss on your lips before rushing off to treat his patient.

You smiled sweetly as he rushed off, simply ecstatic he was alive and well.

[radiantlyrey]

Thoughts on Uprising Ep 7 The Price of Power

- (apparently there’s no “the” in the title???? why?????)

- cold open shows Shaw the scientist, who comes off as the typical misguided evil scientist type. possibly trying out his invention on himself, given his reaction when Beck tries to save him?? He’s an interesting one-scene character, if a little one-note.

- speaking of Beck: kiddo seems pretty upset that he couldn’t save Shaw. Beck’s humanity towards even his enemies has been pretty well established at this point, but I like that he does fail sometimes to save and or spare people (see also the Black Guard from ep1)

- meanwhile in the B plot: Bartik and Hopper are harassing Zed again, with Mara not taking their guff. Also Zed’s crush is showing again, poor guy. Pulling from later in the episode, I am still fucking BOGGLED that Bartik here and Bartik in Legacy are the same fucking guy!!! How do you go from collaborating with the fascist regime to……. leading an uprising faction against it???? Like HOLY SHIT. Forget Beck; I wanna know what the arc of Bartik’s story is!!!!!!!

- back at Tron’s place: infodump about what the disc add on does, Beck works at a place with a thing that can destroy it, etc. that said: “when are you ever not serious?” OOH BURN NICELY DONE BECK. Also it’s fucking true; Tron is The Grid’s Biggest Grump. Still love him tho…..

- and then, because Beck has a Saving People Thing, he falls right in the middle of Paige’s trap and has to use the weapon to get out and this is why I don’t like this episode!!! I do not like amped up, cocky Beck one fucking bit. I had an epiphany later in the episode, this ep is basically the Spider-Man 3 plot condensed into 22 mins and Beck is basically Symbiote Peter here and I Do Not Like It. I get it, I do, but I really don’t enjoy it at all.

- back at the B plot, it’s nice to see Beck actually like. Interacting with his friends for once. Less nice that it’s under these circumstances (with the shitty personality nonsense), but yeah.

- And then Beck, who is not a great decision maker in the best of times, decides to go and make EVEN WORSE DECISIONS. WHY DID YOU THINK THROWING DOWN WITH TESLER WAS A GOOD IDEA, HON?????????? UGHHHHHHHH

- nice to see Beck snap out of it when Able gets hurt, at least. Kiddo does still have his principles, if nothing else. Also Able recognizing Beck as Tron is interesting as fuck and I hope it is explored more. And then later Zed’s comment about the Renegade: “he’s a menace!!” Which made me think of J. Jonah Jameson and make that Spider-man connection up there and I kinda want a meme or something of that Idk

- back at Tron’s place: THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGGGGGG

- Tron alluding to Beck’s mental as well as physical strength interests me, given the details I have seen about Cyrus (no spoilers here plz, I only watched up to Cyrus’ intro episode 10 years ago, soooo….). And for all that he is a Certified Grump, Tron does seem to care about Beck’s well-being in a prickly, distant parent kind of way, so it’s nice for him to express that belief that Beck will do the right thing.

- meanwhile the ongoing pissing contest between Pavel and Paige continues!! Those two guys, I swear. And then Pavel gets hold of the weapon and is even more insufferable than usual with it, because of course he is. The fight between him and Beck has great music at least, I’ll give it that. Also love that Beck gets it and destroys it instead of keeping it for himself; good strength of character stuff.

- meanwhile: EYYYY ZED DID A GOOD WITH MARA BUT SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS BUT BECK DID ZED A SOLID (AND OPE BECK DON’T BLOW YOUR FRICKIN COVER MY DUDE)

- and then the coda: the weapon is self-repairing!!! EEK FUCK DAMN. That ain’t fucking good, given that Pavel has it. (And given that Beck has the other half…….) also my theory when I first watched this episode 10 years ago is that that weapon was incorporated into Tron when Clu turns him into Rinzler?? Just because of the harsh gravelly effect it has on the program’s voice, and the enhanced strength and agility it gives. No idea if it’s what actually happens, but. It is a theory.

May or may not watch the next episode tonight; it’s 9:30 and I’m tired and wide awake at the same time so Who Knows!!!!

[umbralich]

History pt. 4 - Lareine

Part 3 <---

When Iris woke up, she was greeted by a bare, grey stone ceiling. She was just looking at it for some time, not sure what to think of or do next. She didn't have a clue where she was, but at the moment she was too tired to care. If this was the afterlife, it wasn't even mediocre. Why the hells did people make up such grandiloquent stories about it all the time?

When her currently sluggish brain finally caught up, a little panic started to crawl into her consciousness again. She was so thirsty... For how long had she been unconscious? If she was still feeling thirst or pain, she couldn't be dead. Iris had been staring at such ceilings a few times before too, and every time it had been in a gaol. She tried to get up, but after the first, miserable and painful attempt she decided it wasn't worth it, and stayed on her back.

Despite pain she couldn't feel her right hand and left leg at all, and they had probably been in worst shape. Was she paralyzed? Or were they beyond saving and had been chopped off? Who was the au ra anyway? Was he one of those shady doctors who stole body parts from their patients and sold them? If he had kept her alive, what was he going to do to her? Iris forced her heavy head up to see did she still have all her limbs, and somewhat relieved, she let herself drop back after noticing there were bulges under her blanket at the places they were supposed to be. So, she still had her limbs... but what if she could never walk again?

And what about Rosaria? Pavel wasn't supposed to know about Iris. She didn't want to even think about the possibility Rosaria would've told him. Not on purpose at least... But if the damn filth had beaten her and forced her to tell... The thought and everything related to it was unpleasant and Iris pushed it aside for now.

She had either lost consciousness or fallen asleep for a while, because next time she woke up, it was a lot darker outside. Was she just exhausted or had she been given something? Or did she have permanent brain damage from the beating? There was still enough light to see around, and she wasn't feeling sleepy despite the persistent, numb feeling in her head.

Iris started to glance around the rest of the room. To her relief it wasn't a gaol, but a simple, scantily decorated hospital room. Besides her bed there was another one right next to it, but it was empty. There wasn't even blanket or pillow, just a mattress without a sheet. Between the beds was a small, wooden table, where someone had brought a crude, wooden flower pot with a single sunflower in it. On the other side of the room was a wooden wardrobe, and on her left two big, arch-like windows without curtains.

Iris made some remarks to herself. All movables were wooden. She couldn't break anything and use as a weapon. She already guessed there wouldn't be a mirror inside the wardrobe, since there wasn't one on the walls either. The beds were robust, made of metal and bolted into the floor. If her room wasn't located on the ground floor or the first, escaping through the windows would be impossible, since there wasn't enough sheets in one bed to make a durable rope.

Had thinking always been this exhausting? Well... at least for now Iris didn't seem to be in any immediate danger, so at least she could benefit from this warm bed and clean clothes, before she would find out more about her whereabouts and happenings since... wait. Clean clothes?

A feeling of dread tightened her stomach. Iris lifted the blanket with her better hand and peeked under it. She was wearing a black, sleeveless shirt and white panties, which were both way too big for her. Someone had bathed her when she was blacked out?

"Wait a moment...", she said with a hoarse voice that barely sounded her own. "Oh, Rhalgr's balls... That means... Oh no..."

A sudden, short series of knocks on the door made her flinch. Immediately after Iris cursed the pain like a sailor. For a moment it was silent at the other side of the door, until finally a friendly voice asked:

"Are you awake, young miss?"

Before Iris could answer, the door was opened and an old elezen man stepped in. Iris yanked the blanket tightly against herself, like he could've stolen it from her at any time. It wasn't like her to be so bashful, but then again, no one had ever before seen or touched her without her consent and no less while she hadn't even been awake. How unforgivable and rude!

Despite of the fact that the elezen's chin-length hair - combed tidily back - and short beard had gone all white and he was all wrinkled, his age didn't show from his movements and posture. Judging from his black suit, fancy shoes, a silver monocle and a tray full of food he was carrying towards Iris, he was a butler. Not a nurse? Wasn't this supposed to be a hospital?

When the old man was right next to her and put the tray down on the table next to the sunflower, Iris saw his pale yellow eyes from close. She had definitely seen them before. Last night... or whatever night it had been, when she had awakened for a short moment. He had opened the door when Iris had been brought in.

"Oh, master... didn't we just have a long discussion about bringing your works home? No one is immune to stress, not even you."

"This is not permanent, I assure you, Arsene. She is out of here as soon as she can walk. Prepare a bath and a room for her."

The au ra carrying Iris had turned to some room or behind a corner, and during that moment, before passing out again, Iris had seen the old elezen looking at the bloodstained and muddy, fancy carpet in their even fancier hallway, hands on his hips and shaking his head.

"Are you feeling well enough to eat, young miss?"

Iris had forgotten herself to stare at the old man for gods knew how long time. She blinked, glanced at the tray on the table and sniffed towards it, and immediately her stomach grumbled. The old man tried to hold back a grin. How dared he? There was absolutely nothing fun in this situation.

"Was it you, gramps?" Iris splurged without thinking.

"I beg your pardon?" the old man asked, slightly frowning.

"The pervert who bathed me while I was unconscious."

"Ah..."

The old man tried to hold back a grin again, making Iris even more furious. If she had been able to move, she'd have punched his teeth into his ass by now.

"No", he said, forcing himself a bit more serious again. "It was my master. It's what he does for a living", he added, after noticing Iris' darkening expression. "He's a healer, you see. If it's of any comfort to young miss, he's more of the type who mixes medicines and gives first aid to trauma patients. Actually taking care of patients is the task he likes the least. But it's part of the job and despite not liking it he's very good at it."

"Healer, huh?" Iris snapped, feeling her anger no longer even knew any limits. "Pretty shitty healer in my opinion. How long has it been since he found me, hmm?"

"Five days tonight", the old man answered patiently.

"Five days and I'm still feeling like crap", Iris proclaimed.

"Your injuries were very severe, young miss", he explained calmly. "Your leg was broken, bone completely snapped. Only flesh was keeping it intact. Your arm was dislocated, and also broken from two places. Couple of your ribs had likewise been broken, and they had punctured your lungs, alongside several stab wounds, which your abdomen was also full of. You had lost so much blood it was a matter of a couple of minutes you would've been a goner. Healing magic may look omnipotent to a commoner, but it has its limits. Fortunately for you, my master is skilled both in healing magic and traditional medic skills. And with or without magic, it's very important for you to rest well to heal completely."

Iris was biting her lip and couldn't come up with anything to say. There was a short silence.

"Now... if you aren't feeling like eating yet, how about we let your dinner cool off and take care of the official business first, young miss?" the old man took a scroll of parchment from his breast pocket, straightening it and offering it towards Iris for reading. "Or should I say... Lareine Kira."

"What?" Iris asked, baffled, while weakly grabbing the parchment from one corner with her better hand and squinted, trying to see better. It was a new ID, for her. Why in the hells?

"My name is Iris", she declared stubbornly. "I like it and I'm not with the intention of changing it."

"My master demands it", he stated apologetically. "And I must say I fully understand why. Shortly after bringing you in he informed me you may have some people from lominsan underworld after you. I did some digging, and it is indeed so. When there isn't a body to be found, of course the first assumption is the body has gone walking. Speaking frankly, if you want to stay under our roof until you've recovered, you'll go with a fake identity. After that you're of course free to change it back."

"Well, what if I don't even want to be here?" Iris asked. "This isn't a hospital, is it?"

"No", the old man admitted. "This is my master's manor."

"Why in the hells am I here and not in a hospital?"

"Too dangerous to keep you in there. They’re searching for you. Ishgard has its own underworld as well, and criminals are closely connected. There aren't many viera in the city. Becoming a patient in a public hospital would be like a red flag to the ones who are after you", he explained.

There was a short silence again. It seemed Iris was forced to be stuck with these people for a while, so for the sake of comfort she should at least try to get along with them. Though, Lareine? Pff, didn't sound like her at all. Too fancy. She'd definitely change her own name back right after she was out of here.

"Gramps..?" she asked, hestitating.

"You may call me Arsene", the old man said and offered a polite bow.

"Gramps", Iris repeated. "Could you... like... help me sit?"

Grinning, Arsene carefully helped Iris into a half-sitting position, since apparently - after a couple of attempts and lots of cursing - sitting wasn't available. Seemed also an independent drinking and eating was out of the question, since even Iris' better hand was so weak and shaking she couldn't hold a spoon with it, even less a glass. Seven hells... If she was going to need care like this for an undefined period of time, she was at least going to make sure the one giving it was Arsene and not his master. Iris decided to attempt some small talk.

"That's... uh... a very nice flower over there", she tried to come up with something to say in the almost empty room she couldn't properly see out from. "I like flowers."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me", Arsene said, delighted. "I raise them. There's lots of them in our little garden. My master isn't much into flowers otherwise except in the medical sense, but for some reason he likes sunflowers as well."

"Oh...", Iris noted. Suddenly she noticed she no longer liked sunflowers.

---> Part 5

[joestories]

The Silent Magician

November 1, 1961

Dear Aleister,

If, perchance, someone offers you the opportunity to perform a very special show for the leader of a small, troubled country on the other side of the planet—even if said leader has asked for you by name—politely decline. I’ve gotten myself deep into something. And I’ve broken all three of my cardinal rules.

Everyone is dead, Aleister.

It looks bad, seeing it typed on the page like that. But that’s the truth of the matter.

I want to get this all down while the events are fresh in my mind, but also because I worry, dear friend, that if somehow I fail to make it out alive, this might the only way to recount what’s happened. I might as well start with what I’ve been concealing from you.

It was no lie when I said I’d be traveling to Europe to perform a special show. What I left out is that the people paying for this show weren’t the best sort of people.

I received the letter near the end of summer. Apparently, I was still a celebrity in the world’s farthest crevices. They were so far away that they couldn’t smell the stink of desperation that had attached to me after I’d performed one too many bar mitzvahs. And even the bar mitzvah circuit was drying up.

This leader (or dictator, as I would learn), Konstigt, had grown up watching my old routines on smuggled filmstrips. He still loved me all these years later. And he was willing to pay handsomely for the pleasure of having me perform for him in his palace.

I had grown weary of magic, but perhaps this was what I needed. One last show. Go out with a bang.

I wrote back immediately and the following day I received a visit from a pair of rats from the CIA. Apparently it’s a big deal for them when there’s communication between the country of ██████████████ and a person stateside. They paid me a visit to learn whether I was a spy or an imbecile.

They had my return letter, which had been intercepted. They read it back it me and I was immediately embarrassed by how effusive I had been. They said I sounded like a desperate, sad old man and they were right.

Cooperate, they said, and the charges would disappear. What charges? They couldn’t say, but cooperation seemed simple, not a large deviation from my original plan. I would meet with them at a tavern in town each night and tell them everything I had learned about Konstigt. I would be doing my country a service. They would offer me protection and if everything worked out, I would be rewarded handsomely.

A month later, I found myself in a succession of smaller and smaller planes until I arrived at a small village at the foot of an old castle spire; this was the palace at which I would perform. I was shuttled through the village in what appeared to be a taxi cab. Perched in the back window was a tiny figurine of a serpent. I pocketed it.

Milton called the serpent the subtlest beast in the field. But there was nothing subtle about this country’s obsession with serpents. Quickly, let me recall at least ten instances in which serpents factored into my time spent here:

A magnificent stained glass window in the cathedral.

A sign hanging in front of the tavern where I would rendezvous with my CIA contacts.

The tattoo on Mila’s wrist.

A mural in the lobby of the hotel I stayed at.

On a coin I received as change at the aforementioned tavern.

A wooden toy that I observed a child in the village playing with.

A huge parade float that was operated by at least three people

Engraved on the barrel of a pistol held by a dead man.

An actual snake, which slithered over my foot as I made my way to a secret rendezvous

The figurine. The one I had stolen. It will reappear later.

And of course, barely anyone in this serpent-obsessed country speaks English. The only English I hear is American music on the radio. Where is their music?

The taxi deposits me and my luggage in a hotel lobby. It is eerily quiet. I seem to be the only guest. A concierge silently escorts me to my room. It overlooks a courtyard and features a painting in which a woman on a beach stares at a shark in the ocean.

I open my suitcase and am displeased to learn that it has been ransacked by some sort of brutish security detail. The contents smell vaguely of cheap cigarettes.

My trick gun had been seized. I’m not surprised by this, it looks realistic, even though it can’t actually fire a bullet. I will need to find a replacement before the show.

Of the four decks of playing cards in my suitcase, I am missing four cards. The queen of hearts from each deck. A strangely superstitious people, this bunch.

My clothes have been rifled through. My cape looks to have been trampled by schoolchildren. My poor hat, which is in no way magical, seemed as if it had been run over by a steamroller.

The rubes left my most magical items unmolested. The puzzle cube is untouched. I am able to locate my invisible dagger after feeling around for it inside the lining. Of course they had no idea it was there.

The concierge reappears and leads me back to the lobby where a uniformed military man is waiting for me. He leads me inside the castle walls and through corridors until I am in a tall wood paneled room adorned with paintings of crying women. From the far end of the room, I am approached by a tall man with grey hair and a grey beard. He wears a white, military-style coat. He is smiling.

The first English spoken to me the day I arrived was by the dictator himself. Konstigt says, “I am so happy you could make it.”

He is flanked by two serious looking men. He introduces them. On his left, wearing a black uniform is Pavel, his chief of police. On his right, in a pale green uniform adorned with hundreds of medals is Vlad, the commander of the military.

He asks about my flights. He asks what I think of his country. I smile. I am genial. This man is a fan.

“If you need anything, I will provide it.”

“I’m going to need a coffin, for the final part of my act. I couldn’t bring one with me.”

“Of course. One will be delivered to you tonight. What else?”

“They took my gun,“ I said.

"Ah, well you’re going to need that for your famous bullet catching trick, aren’t you?” He knows my act well.

Pavel says something. I think he’s asking what I said. Konstigt replies in their gibberish language.

This is where it all started to go wrong. I’m about to break the first of my three rules: never explain a trick, even under penalty of death. I always thought that last part was an exaggeration.

Pavel draws his gun. It’s polished silver and ivory. Every surface reflecting light. I’m squinting as it directs sunlight into my eyes. The gun is pointed at me. He says something. Konstigt laughs as he translates: "Pavel wants to see this famous bullet catching trick!”

Panic sets in immediately. The bullet trick is an illusion. I am sputtering, talking fast, trying to explain that. The gun isn’t real. The bullet is transferred to the mouth with sleight of hand. When you strip away the showmanship, it really is quite a simple trick. Konstigt looks disappointed, but he waves at Pavel and the gun is lowered. Even though it is no longer an imminent threat, the gun continues to reflect light at me, daring me not to look at it. I notice a serpent engraved on its barrel.

“You talk too much,” says Konstigt. And in that moment, I make a promise to myself to talk less, starting right now. They can’t understand me anyway. My vacation will be one of profound silence.

I am whisked back to my hotel. I try to relax and rehearse my act, but it’s no use.

It gets dark. At the predetermined time, I wander into the village and find the tavern. The CIA goons are easy to spot. They look as out of place as I do. We settle into a booth in a dark corner. “Can you draw us a layout of the palace?”

“And a good evening to you too, gentlemen.” A notepad is placed in front of me.

I had been escorted around so quickly that I couldn’t remember it with any clarity, but I am embarrassed to admit this, so I make an attempt. I draw the outline of the entry hall, with the two smaller halls coming off of it. My drawing resembles a diagram of the female reproductive system. I slide the notepad back to the goons. “I’m sorry, this is all I remember.”

They want to know if I have any idea where they’re keeping the diamonds.

“Diamonds?”

“Don’t play dumb with us, we know you know about the diamonds. That’s why you’re really here.“

But I’m not playing dumb. "I’m here to perform my act.”

“You want us to believe you came all the way here and put yourself in serious danger to perform? Are you an idiot?”

The other one chimes in. “Listen, if someone asks you if so-and-so is the reason you’re really here, the answer is always yes. That’s the first thing they teach you at the academy.”

I wander back to the hotel in a daze. When I open the door to my room, there’s a loaded revolver on the nightstand and a pine box coffin propped against the wall.

*

Aleister, have I told you the story of how I decided to become a magician? I’m certain I have, but it bears repeating.

You might know of the vanishing of Orius in 1899. He was a genius performer, but he was not well known. This story takes place on the night of his final performance. He told his audience that he was going to perform an illusion that could be performed only once by any human, and for this reason he had saved it for his last show.

He was going to turn completely invisible.

But the only way for this to work was for everyone who was not pure of spirit to turn around. This was in Bavaria in 1899, so I don’t need to tell you that this meant everyone in the audience.

And so, with the entire audience facing away, he narrated as he vanished each part of his body. His legs, his arms, his torso, and finally his head. Now, as the legend goes, there was a one young child in the audience, and this child thought himself to be pure of spirit. So when Orius had been reduced to a disembodied voice, this child turned to look. And he was the only one to see that Orius was invisible. He cried out in shock, “He’s truly vanished!”

The audience had been transfixed, but this shout caused them all to abruptly turn to the stage. The spell had been broken, and Orius was immediately made visible again. There was thunderous applause, even though no one in the audience had witnessed this trick. Only the boy had seen it. But that boy had seen something truly magical.

I was the boy.

*

My spirits had improved for day two.

I took in a hearty breakfast, of which the predominant ingredients were boiled cabbage and sausage. The populace seems to sustain itself on boiled cabbage and sausage. The streets stink of it. A dedicated vegetarian like yourself would starve here.

I set about the town collecting the odds and ends that I will need for my show. I am still far from understanding the language, but I have noticed that the locals have bestowed some sort of sobriquet on me in their ugly goat tongue. It sounds like plo-nee-ba-ka. I suspect it to mean something like outsider or interloper. And I was one, wasn’t I? I made a mental note to ask a trusted source for a translation, should I find someone to trust.

In the meantime, I had developed a set of hand gestures for communication. And I started to figure ways that I might incorporate them incorporate into my act.

The townsfolk were full of energy. I was swept up in a parade that deposited me in the what I judged to be the most blighted part of town. And yet, I was not robbed, I was simply subjected to more singing. They have folk songs they sing here, as you would expect, but I was surprised to hear them interspersed with American music which they had written new lyrics for. The crowd performed a version of I Want to Hold Your Hand and I can’t imagine their version was a direct translation. The intonation was too violent. If I was to guess, the hand in this song had been torn from the wrist of an enemy.

I stumbled upon a group of children who had gathered for a show. I joined them. The show was performed with a strange collection of puppets and toys. The plot, as I could gather, was that a benevolent stranger arrives from space. The stranger befriends a mountain princess, and she then betrays him to win her country’s freedom. The only evidence of the identity of the performer is a visible tattoo on a wrist. It is, of course, a serpent.

At the conclusion of the show, one of the children tugs at my sleeve. I look down and he presents me with a note. I examine it: a clock face reading 11, and an image that I recognized as the stained glass window of town’s cathedral. It was a serpent wrapped around an inverted cross. I suppose it would be bad manners to ignore such a finely crafted secret invitation. I put it in my pocket. How would I occupy the next five hours?

I decided to wander back to the palace. I had intended to survey the theater in which I would be performing. This is a very important step before any performance. And I should admit, I had been indulging in drink. All the townsfolk were. Would you reject a beer stein from a smiling man that just a minute before was singing violent love songs?

I was permitted entry to the palace by the guards, but they were not able to direct me to the theater. They did not appear to speak English. I got lost and wandered from room to room hoping to bump into a human who might understand me.

I finally crossed paths with a soldier, but when I got his attention, he seemed very nervous. I used my hand gestures on him, they had no effect. My presence seemed to have spooked him, and he exited the room in a hurry.

I followed him out of the room and through another chamber. When you’re lost in the wilderness, you follow a river. When you’re lost in a palace, you follow a man. Eventually, he would lead me to other people, and perhaps one of them would speak English.

I was horribly, horribly right.

I followed the spooked soldier around a corner and bumped into him. He had frozen in place. Pavel was before us. And this man’s behavior seemed to trigger something in Pavel.

“Mr. Pavel, I am very happy to have happened upon someone who speaks my native tongue. Might I trouble you for directions?”

I was ignored.

Pavel started speaking in a low, accusatory voice. The soldier stuttered a reply. Pavel unholstered his magnificent shiny pistol. The soldier attempted to speak, but Pavel motioned for him to stop. He pointed at the soldier’s groin with his gun.

The soldier, with much hesitation, started to turn the pockets of his trousers inside out. A few handfuls of dirty, unremarkable looking rocks spilled on the floor.

Pavel laughed. “Diamante!” he shouted. Just my luck that this should happen to be the first easily understood word in this guttural swamp language.

Pavel continued to laugh. And the soldier uncomfortably started to laugh too. And so I started to laugh.

Pavel stopped laughing, lifted his gun to the soldier’s head, and fired. The soldier dropped dead on the ground. Pavel resumed laughing. I did not.

I watched a blood stain grow larger on the dark crimson floor. I recalled that most of the floors in the palace were this color. A utilitarian consideration? Easy to conceal bloodstains when all your floors are already the color of blood. What kind of monsters run this country?

I thought of the CIA men laughing at my naivety the prior night. They were right. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.

Pavel seemed to remember that I was present in the room, and now he addressed me. “Yes, magic man. Have you got any tricks for me?”

“I… I’m afraid not.”

He studied me. “Do you often travel with thieves, then?”

Aleister, you know that if I was to be honest, the answer to this is yes, but this was certainly not the right thing to say in my present situation. But he didn’t bother waiting for an answer. He waved his pistol in my direction.

“Why don’t you let me see what you have in your pockets, magic man?”

A magician and a thief have a thing in common: They both always know the exact contents of every one of their pockets at any given time. Left front pocket: mysterious note. Right front pocket: pilfered serpent figurine.

I was a fool for not destroying the note as soon as I had read it. Old age has made me soft. But there’s always a way out. You know the adage? One can escape from anything. It sounds better in Latin. I have escaped from locked rooms, arguments with shopkeepers, moving vehicles, and marriage proposals. I will escape from this.

Misdirection is the greatest ally of both the thief and the magician. The note, I had inferred, should not be revealed. The serpent figurine I was less certain about. But no one trusts a man with empty pockets.

And so I did have a trick for Pavel after all. I reached into my pockets and turned them out quickly. With my left hand, I palmed the note. With my right hand, I revealed the serpent. As my right hand extended forward, my left hand slipped the note into my sleeve. And then both hands are palm up. The deception is so simple that you would never know anything was out of the ordinary.

Pavel looked at the serpent figurine. He smiled. “Now, how can I help you?”

I was delivered to the theater, but I was feeling scatter-brained, owing to the fellow whose brains I had seen scattered moments before.

*

In the evening, I once again met with the CIA goons at the allotted time. They were overjoyed by the evidence of diamonds. That I had witnessed an execution didn’t seem to have any effect on them.

One of them gets a serious look on his face. He wants to know if I could use my magic to teleport the diamonds from their location into a suitcase that could then be whisked away. I tell him this is impossible. He wanted to know if this was because I didn’t know exactly where the diamonds were being kept? I told him I am an entertainer. I’m not actually capable of magical acts. He seemed very disappointed in me.

“Do you mean to say that nothing you do is magic? Everything is just an ordinary trick. Something that anyone could learn?“

"I suppose that might be the most pessimistic way to describe what I do.”

They briefed me on the plan for my show tomorrow. They told me that when the performance has ended, if there’s an opportunity to distract Konstigt or any of his men, I should keep them distracted for as long as possible. They told me they would be watching me and they would appear at the first sign of trouble.

The hour was nearing 11. We parted ways and I walked quickly across town. Hoping to avoid detection by Konstigt’s men, should there be any out looking for me, I stuck to the shadows. The only trouble I encountered was in an alleyway a block from the cathedral. In the darkness, a serpent slithered over my foot. I leapt back in shock, but contained my surprise. The snakes, I told myself, worked for no one.

I pushed past the heavy door to the cathedral. A few men in monk’s robes were seated around the altar playing a card game. Another monk emerged from the shadows and lead me down a narrow side passage into some sort of catacomb.

The monk’s hood was pulled back and this monk was revealed to be a beautiful woman.

“My name is Mila. Fate has brought us together.”

I was so charmed that I agreed! Yes, fate had brought us together.

She was familiar with my routine, and had worked as the assistant to local magician whose current whereabouts were unknown (he was a drunk). She wanted to be my assistant. She was quite insistent that she be my assistant. She had been performing since she was a child. I knew I was naive to accept her offer, but I also knew my act would be much better with an assistant.

I noticed that one of her hands was still sheathed in a hand puppet from her performance earlier. This one was a donkey.

“You may join me, but the donkey must stay,” I said, thinking I was being quite clever.

She looked crestfallen. “My hand… it was mangled in a thresher accident when I was just a small child. I keep the puppets to cover my mutilation.”

I was embarrassed, and recanted my previous declaration. She would be my assistant, puppet included. She was overjoyed.

Aleister, you know my act. Two of my illusions are certainly better with an assistant:

Cranks at Work

The Ghost Talks

And then there’s three that I had planned to leave out entirely, as they are impossible without an assistant:

The Doctor’s Secret

Fancy Baggage

A Most Immoral Lady

If this was to be my last show, why not go out with a bang? With Mila’s help, I would be able to perform all of them. Was this greed, or pride, or both?

I was breaking the second of my cardinal rules: When someone offers to help, be suspicious of their motives.

I told her we must meet to rehearse tomorrow morning. She agreed. Then she got a serious look on her face, and I had utterly no idea what she was thinking, though it didn’t seem to be of a romantic nature. She came close to me. In a low voice, she said, “You’re here for it too, aren’t you?”

It? I remembered the advice of my CIA friends. The answer is always yes. So I said, “Yes.” She seemed very relieved. “Good,” she said, “I will speak no more of it.”

I bid her goodnight, and she raised her hand (the unmutilated one) for me to kiss it. This is when I noticed the distinctive serpent tattoo on her wrist.

As we were parting, I remembered something. “The people have been calling me a name… plo-nee-ba-ka, I think. What does that mean?“

She thought about it. "The hollow one. Or invisible one. Or silent. There’s not an exact word in English.”

The Silent Magician. I like the sound of that.

*

I want to amend my story of the Vanishing of Orius in 1899. Aleister, I am going to tell you something that I have never told a soul, and I want this knowledge to die with you.

I did not witness an act of magic.

Yes, the audience, they all turned their backs. Yes, I was the boy. Orius narrated his disappearance, and when I turned back to face the stage, what I saw was a sad old man. An old magician performing his final show, totally corporeal on the stage. Not a hint of transparency. He wasn’t magical, he was a liar, or perhaps, more charitably, a trickster. And suddenly a very young child, me, held his fate in my tiny hands.

And I chose to carry the lie. I didn’t know why I said what I did at the time. But I know now that I wanted to live in a world where magic was possible.

That’s the problem with magic. The keepers of magic are the ones who know it’s a big charade.

You can’t unsee the man.

There is no magic.

We know definitively, and yet we have to keep telling the lie.

*

The rehearsal was a success. The room, as I’d demanded, was empty except for myself and Mila. She had gotten some looks for her puppet (today it was a wasp), but the story of her mutilated hand elicited sympathy (or at least deference) from the guards.

They asked how I wanted to be introduced. I told them to call me The Silent Magician. Plo-nee-ba-ka.

The rest of the day was a blur. All I cared about was the show.

I watched nervously from behind the curtains as the audience was filled in. It was a mix of townsfolk and military men. Konstigt was seated front and center with Pavel to his side. Vlad was conspicuously absent.

I’m not going to bother describing my act. You’ve seen it a dozen times. Of course, I had to remove the double entendres, those only work with spoken language. Some of them I tried to relate with hand gestures, but they were single entendres at best. But it didn’t matter, there was a real excitement in the air. I had an eager audience, and my set was performed without a hitch. It was brilliant.

The standing ovation carried on for an embarrassingly long amount of time, I am certain this was due to the fact that Konstigt continued to stand and applaud and so everyone else felt the need to follow suit.

Perhaps this also means the audience was less enraptured with my performance, and was merely performing for Konstigt? Well, that’s possible, but let’s not dwell on that. Trust me, I know a great show. This was a great show.

The curtain was dropped and I stood frozen in place. It was done. I had done my act, and I had done it silently, and I had still wowed them. It was a wonderful feeling. It was something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

Seconds later, Konstigt had appeared backstage with Pavel in tow. He stood to my left, clasping my shoulder, with Pavel in front of me. And then there was a noise from backstage and Vlad appeared.

Vlad was apologetic about missing the show. Pavel’s expression soured. I was a look that I’d seen before. He issued a command in his goat language and Vlad laughed. But Pavel wasn’t laughing. I recognized the command. He was asking Vlad to turn out his pockets.

When Vlad did not comply, Pavel drew his pistol and pointed it at him. Vlad, in response, drew his own weapon, a large revolver. Konstigt now had a very grave expression. Pavel and Vlad stood on opposite sides of me, I was positioned perfectly to catch their crossfire. I slowly started to back away, but the pine box coffin was still on the stage from my final trick and it blocked my path.

Aleister, would you agree that this seems like the best time for my buddies from the CIA to show themselves? To rush to the rescue?

They thought so too, rushing the stage from opposite ends, and when they saw the guns, they positioned themselves so one of them was behind Pavel and the other was behind Vlad. Much to my chagrin, their guns were pointed at the midsection of each man (and those midsections were aimed at me), which meant there was now the possibility of four bullets hitting me.

Konstigt had taken his hand from my shoulder. He had a furious look on his face, as if he had just understood I had been working against him this whole time. Had I, though? If you could look into my heart with a microscope, I think you would see that I just wanted to perform. That was my motive. I was pure of spirit, at least in this one regard!

Konstigt was unholstering his weapon when the cover of the coffin flung open next to me.

From it emerged Mila. With a theatrical flourish, she unsheathed her hand previously hidden by a puppet, to reveal a perfectly lovely hand holding a perfectly lovely gun. Did you see that one coming, Aleister? You were always sharper than I was. Mila yelled something in that cursed troll language, which if I had to guess, I would think might be “The revolution has started, and your time is now at an end.”

She was pointing the gun at Konstigt, who at this point has his own gun drawn and pointed back at her, which also means that both of them are pointed at me as well and I’m now in for six bullets when the guns go off.

I’ve enclosed a diagram if you’re having trouble visualizing my predicament.

[enclosed image missing]

Everyone was shouting in their terrible tongue, and I couldn’t say anything. They were yelling at each other, they were yelling at me. I was trapped. I was a fool. At least I had one last good show.

And in my last moments on earth, I thought about Orius. Not his act, but what he said. Everyone gets one chance to vanish. It’s a thing you can do only once and never again. If that were the case, I had never used mine. This would be the time to use it, if ever there was one. I pressed my eyes shut.

I don’t need to tell you the ways of the magician. We weave magic out of what we have to work with. We don’t witness miracles, but we can tell others we did.

A miracle happened. I turned invisible. I had my eyes shut, so I couldn’t see myself turn invisible, but I felt it. And it must have startled my gun wielding stage-mates because there was a sudden, terrible cacophony and the air was alive with bullets, And then six thumps as six bodies fell.

I opened my eyes. First I saw the blood. My brilliant white cape was specked with it. I dropped it to the floor and noticed a half dozen new perforations. I felt myself up and down. Where was I hit? Where did I feel pain? But I didn’t feel pain. I hadn’t been hit.

I was the only one who hadn’t.

They were all dead and crumpled on the floor.

Konstigt had a bullet between the eyes. Pavel and Vlad had felled the CIA men (whose names, shamefully, I am realizing I never bothered to remember). Or perhaps they felled each other? The four of them wore shocked, lifeless expressions. Pavel’s hand still gripped his beloved engraved pistol.

And Mila, poor Mila. Just as dead as the others. She’d fallen back into the coffin, her two perfect hands draped over her lap. She would have looked like she was sleeping if you could ignore the chunks of her brain that were splattered across stage left.

In a daze, I stumbled my way past the curtains and into the orchestra section, and I started to become aware of the commotion as my senses come back. Bodies of soldiers and townsfolk were sprinkled throughout the aisle. Some of the townsfolk had donned animal masks. A fox and a rabbit were trying to decapitate a fallen soldier with makeshift knife. There was blood everywhere. Or there wasn’t. It’s hard to tell when the floors are the color of blood.

I shuffle past numerous scenes of agony and violence. I’m not wearing a military uniform or a police uniform or an animal mask, so it’s as if I’m invisible.

The streets are in chaos. I mind my business and make my way back to the hotel. Where will I go next?

It’s when I start to consider how I might bribe my way out of this mess that I realize that I’ve broken my third cardinal rule: Always get the money first.

My room seemed undisturbed. I went to my suitcase seeking my invisible dagger. When I’m in a dangerous situation, it always calms me to hold it, even though I’ve never had to use it.

It has been sitting on the table next to me while I type this out. I am ready to brandish it if necessary. The last time I peeked outside, there was black smoke rising from the palace and the commotion seemed to have died down a bit. Even revolutionaries need to sleep.

When the sun is up, I’ll figure out what’s next. First, I’m going to try to post this letter. If you’re reading this, then at least something went right.

I’m not sure if I’m a hero, a villain, or just an invisible person. I will know soon.

With the best regards I can muster given the circumstances, One can escape from anything, Your friend always,

The Silent Magician LL