#I don't have tag ideas for it yet I'll figure it out later I'm sure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

river-muse · 4 months

Note

That WIP ask game is seriously an underrated concept tbh, authors should be able to air out their works and ideas if they want to, even if those are unfinished.

Since I've been bugging you a little about MH I think I have to ask about the Monster Hunter Derelict WIP. MH Is an interesting setting for sure, but it's also hard to think of something to write in it, except maybe a dnd-like hunter party? Anyway, I'm rambling, definitely interested what you had going on There.

Also, I'm a filthy cheater and a sucker for time-themed fiction, so I definitely have to ask about Whatever Time May Bring. Feel free to ignore my filthy cheater double request tho

I agree! Being able to show off stuff we're working on without perfection being expected is super fun because I can pick out highlights and hold it up without needing to go "is this polished enough to be read?"

Since one is sort of a mini-fic that's an AU me and one of my close friends are messing around with for the funnies I'll answer both of your requests! I'm giggling and rubbing my hands together.

Monster Hunter Dereliction is the working title of a DMC MonHun AU that centers around a small Guild outpost in the Old World that pretty much has its shit figured out due to there not being many settlements in the area that need to be protected. My friend and I went "fuck it minimal family loss trauma in this department" so a lot of the cast is Around(tm) except for Sparda(we haven't decided what happened to him yet if anything).

There's sort of a plot figured out, though most of it's up in the air because we haven't had too much of a chance to talk more thoroughly about it and are just in the brainstorming department. We really just wanted to come up with our own biomes and monster designs for fun. It would involve a clash between two Elders breaking open a crevice in the earth that reveals an underground cavern system- and unknowingly awakening an Elder that has almost cosmic horror-esque traits to it. There's a sketch but it's not mine so I'd have to ask my friend later if he'd be cool with me sharing it.

For a little insight into some character placements, since I'm a bit obsessive about how lore in MonHun goes xD I won't go into what everyone is doing but I will share a handful.

I don't have much in way of writing, since I just got a few key ideas down- but have at it!

I think we decided Dante was the master in that area? He's mostly chilling around the outpost unless something super dangerous comes up that he's needed for.

Vergil is a high-ranking hunter who tends to do tasks for the Scholars that takes him into dangerous areas for the challenge and potential to explore old ruins. He's in and out of the outpost a lot on a whim so unless he's requested specifically good luck finding him.

Nero is an established hunter who tends to get a little babied by the others, which leads to him being more adamant about pushing his limits to prove himself and get them to stop worrying.

Eva regularly travels, recording locales and monsters in general peace.

Kyrie acts as the guild sweetheart for the location, handling quest assignments and making sure the hunters are properly prepared.

Credo is one of the residing guild knights, which is a rank in the guild that handles upholding guild regulation and deciding on punishment for anyone caught illegally poaching monsters.

Nell is the residential smithy! She's been training Nico for a long time now to take over in the future.

For now Nico tends to tag along behind Nero on a lot of hunts to observe them, swipe some new materials for herself, and experiment with equipment that diverts away from standard expectations.

Patty is a guild sweetheart in training, if I remember right? I only wrote her name in all caps in this post-it note and nothing else fdsgfbsdxjkgbj

Dante’s late to leave his room today, not expecting too many requests to come in if any. It’s been quiet since they’d sorted out the sudden influx of larger wyverns that had migrated South from their own territories. Which isn’t a good sign. It could mean something bigger is on the way soon. However nothing’s turned up. So to him the problem’s been solved. The peace lasts about as long as expected though, because the door pushes open without so much as a knock from the incoming visitor. It’s Lady. Not even in her armor yet but scowling as if she’d just gotten tossed around by a Diablos. “Where’s your fucking brother?” “Not even a good morning?” Dante yawns. “Passed morning a few hours ago.” Lady crosses her arms and leans against the doorframe “Now about Vergil-“ “Do I look like my brother’s keeper?” When It’s obvious Lady isn’t accepting that as an answer he groans and rests his feet on his desk “Out. On an expedition. That’s why one of the aptonoth aren’t in the stable. He’s North, checking out whatever caused that Wyvern displacement. Should be back in a few days.”

Vergil lingers by the ledge of the massive crevice, peering into the darkness to see faint shimmers of light that waver as if moving. It’s odd. With most of the trees decimated there should be plenty of sunlight shining down to show whatever’s down there. The darkness opens its eyes. Swirling colors and glowing light as faint pupils shrink to paper-thin slits when they focus on him. From the positioning of them Vergil isn’t sure if he’s looking face-to-face with a creature or with multiple. He doesn’t recognize any visible traits and stumbles away from the ledge. There’s a snapping noise and Vergil looks back to see the aptonoth has broken her binds in her attempt to flee, taking all of Vergil’s gear with her as she disappears into the treeline. A rattling, warbling noise that resembles a broken horn echoes loud enough that it hurts Vergil’s ears. He covers them with his hands and regrets not bringing earplugs. Something cold enough to leech the temperature through his armor wraps around his ankle, and drags him into the crevice. He grasps at the rock. His gloves dig in and he struggles to grab his blade. It slips from his hands and he falls with it. Darkness engulfs his vision made to feel darker by the eyes that fill his peripheral. One more eye, larger than all the others, opens up in front of him to blot out his last view of the sun.

Nero’s the first to volunteer and the first to be ready to depart. He shuffles about, fretting over what equipment to take and how long of a trip it will be. “Don’t you dare authorize that mission.” Credo objects, smacking his hand on the table “There’s no telling how long he’ll be gone, and if there is a wyvern strong enough out there to take Vergil down then I don’t feel comfortable sending him out.” “He’s qualified. Just as capable as the rest of us.” Dante insists “You need to stop babying him or he’ll never get his feet under him.” “How dare you accuse me of coddling one of our hunters?” “You’re not really beating the allegations. Especially since he’s got a crush on your sister.” “Do not-“ Nero objects. Dante stares, raises an eyebrow, and Nero clicks his tongue. Nero looks away while his cheeks flush red.

---

NOW onto-

Whatever Time May Bring. You have sniffed out the ONE NASNAH part that I think you're going to love the most, because it takes place when Nero's 15 and a certain 8 year old girl finds her way into Dante's life. It skims through the anime timeline and a bit beyond, since for reasons not yet revealed in the plot Dante decides to keep Vergil and Nero out of most of the details of his demon hunting work. It's a scene compilation like how "In Leaps and Bounds" was for little Nero. It's also finally the time where Nero starts questioning his family's behavior and secrets more than before.

Vergil watches the ensuing exchange with all of his attention he can muster. There’s something comedic about a young child pushing Dante to wits’ end when Nero at that age earned nothing but Dante’s adoration. He then notices Nero’s uncharacteristic silence. It takes just one glance to see Nero’s eyes are wide, watching Patty with an expression that he hasn’t seen before. “Nero?” Nero startles out of his thoughts, straightening up. “Uh, hi.” Nero says. He picks up his coat from the floor and dusts it off. “A little slow on the uptake. Did you overheat trying to wear that over here?” Dante asks. “No just-“ Nero looks away and seems to get his bearings “-wasn’t expecting to see you taking care of a kid. He’s being nice to you, right?” Nero looks at Patty with his question. “He’s horrible! He doesn’t clean, never explains anything until after it happens, and won’t eat anything but pizza and strawberry sundaes. I’m surprised he even knows what tomato juice is let alone drinks it.” Patty pouts and motions at Dante with a pointed finger.

Patty is- energetic. She’s outspoken and from how she speaks her mind is sharper than she leads others to believe. Yet she’s very much a child in how she behaves. Much like how Dante had been at her age to an extent. It had been obnoxious to deal with when younger, but Vergil can rationalize it as normal behavior for children in hindsight. Nero’s odd phase of having become quiet and calm as a child must have been a special case. “Would you advise I rescue Nero now, or later?” Vergil questions. “I think they’ll get along just fine without us hovering.” Dante pushes up from his chair and nudges a box of stuffed animals to the side with his foot. He tilts his head to the hallway door “Let’s leave them to it.” “And what will we be doing, instead?” “If you don’t want to know the weird details of the job, then I guess we can stay here and listen to Patty go on all day about that stupid show.” “Hey! I heard that.” Patty speaks up, looking over from the couch. “I wasn’t talking to you.” “But you were talking about me, so that’s pretty much the same thing.” Patty sticks her tongue out.

“What happened to my mom? Who was she?” Vergil’s gaze flicks away. Guilt passes over his face and he keeps cleaning without giving an answer. “Hey, you can’t just ignore me. I asked you a question-” Nero objects. “I can, and I will.” Vergil holds out the sauce pan “That is a topic for another time, Nero.” “Another time? Seriously?” Nero scowls as he uses a bit more force than needed to dry the pan “You’re gonna dare say that to me after years of this? I don’t even know what her name was.” Vergil pauses washing the dishes, resting his hands on the edges of the sink.

Thank you for letting me go insane and giving me a chance to share with you some Patty Propaganda! I had to seriously dig around and be careful with what I show since there's quite a few parts between the fic I'm currently uploading and this one, but I would be damned if I didn't give you something to look forward to. <3

#Kat's Fics #Kat's Dadgil AU #Just another one of my little DMC AUs

11 notes · View notes

just-some-random-blogger · 2 years

Note

I know this is late rn (it is here in my country lmao);;; but will you continue the Morpheus X Filipino!Reader???;;; I'm not really sure if there's a follow-up that I'm not aware of sorry... But I have an idea, after the drunk shenanigans, they get a massiiiiive hangover and question if what happened really happened but continue their day. Then after being kicked out, Morpheous just followed them like the lost puppy he is (in this case a lost sad wet cat lmao) like in a work/university(as a student or professor idk). LITERALLY everywhere (stalking but in a cute way if it makes sense?). And Cori visit now and then, for his own amusement lol, just to annoy Dream and make him jealous or watch his "Dad" suffer and be a pathetic love sick puppy LMAOOOOO Also, Matthew gives Morpheus some love and courting(?) tips is quite cute and funny at the same time lolololol

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy have a great day or night~!!!! idk

Oh, Don't Be Like That

Dream of the Endless x Reader + Corinthian x Reader (except its mostly Dream & Cori duking it out AHHAHA)

Summary: There was a battle going inside your mind between a nightmare and the master of dreams... literally.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: gender neutral!reader, psychological mind fuckery, corinthian being the nightmare he is, brat!cori, jealous!dream, exasperated dad!dream, angst?, crackfic?, typos, etc.

A/N: hi nonnie, there is actually a next part to it, but lol sige na nga ahsf;lashf i'll write what you want (i hope you like it) only cos i love corinthian so much and i want them to bite each other (in a fight HAHHAHAH) i hope you enjoy it and yeah it was pretty late when you sent this i remember but that doesnt matter cos i got back to you 1000 years later lol This is technically a p4. [p1 "Thorn At My Side"] [p2 "Beer"] [p3 "Not Enough"] but you dont have to read them to understand lol. Tagging everyone from p3!: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @pinksirensong @lexi-anastasia @aralezinspace @emy635 @libra207 @secretdreamlandmentality @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9 @laraackerman @reallystressedhoneybee @farintonorth @shining-yuu @ellooo0ooo i'll also tag @sloanexx even though this isn't the jealous!dream req i was talking to you about lol

I was running. I was running so fast that I was losing my breath. The halls were winding. I reach a split hallway and take a sharp turn right.

"Oh, little bug," the ominous voice calls, "why are you running from me? I thought we were friends?"

I run faster, skin crawling, rising with goosebumps, as I tread frantically down the hall.

I see light at the end. I run faster and faster towards it, as fast as my legs can take me.

All at once, the light is gone and I slam into a dead end. I fall to bottom and scramble. I push myself back into the corner, looking out into the darkness, awaiting my demise.

"Oh, pretty thing," he laughs, "how stupid of you."

My entire body is trembling. I break into an ear piercing, body curdling shriek when I see a figure. A grim, twisted, eerily grinning face comes into view from the shadows.

My head blares because of my screaming, and yet when the figure comes to light and doubles down in laughter. Tears in my eyes are clouding my vision, and I'm curled up in the corner for dear life.

He takes of his shades and leans on his knees. The teeth in his eyes wheeze with him. It takes me a good long while for me to realize just who in the nightmare this man was, with the aid of him introducing himself.

"It's me, doll," he chuckles, turning to me, "your boyfriend Cori."

I recoil, as this finally dawns onto me. Boyfriend my ass. I begin to heave as my frightened tears turn into bitter angry ones. I rise to my feet, chest rising and falling in anger. I point an accusing finger to the blonde, "you are NOT my boyfriend," I step forward each statement, "you stupid, annoying, evil little bitch-ass, rat!"

Corinthian raises his hands in defeat, chuckling once more, proceeding to wipe his glasses on his shirt, looking down as he snorts, "oh, but I am."

When he looks back up as he puts his glasses back on, the grin on his face disappears as he is faced with nothing but darkness.

Corinthian is no longer in the hall, he is only stood alone in the darkness.

"Deceiver."

Corinthian's blood runs still. His breath hitches when he turns and is faced with an imposing figure.

Dream of the Endless glares at his creation with a tense jaw. His eyes are lit with a fury. Corinthian can easily recognize the envy.

He feels a possessiveness, an irksome roll in his gut. What is he doing in my nightmare?

Corinthian grinds his teeth then exhales, adjusting his shades on the bridge of his nose. He feels ire rise up the artery in his neck, but he plays it off with an airy chuckle, "sounds like a whole lot of denial on your part, papa bear."

Dream's nostrils flare, he steps forward, not willing to lose to his spawn, "I have gotten my answer, nightmare. Bego-"

"You've been following us," Cori cuts in, not wanting to end the nightmare, not wanting to lose either. He watches the strangles expression on his maker tighten. The nightmare's gotten some good footing, "you've seen us walk together," he raises a brow, "laughing, holding hands."

The blonde is excited by the involuntary reaction he gets from Dream. His dark form darkens even more. The king begins to contort into a thing of horror. His form is shifting into fear itself.

If a nightmare had a nightmare, it would be him.

And yet he does a good job of playing it off, Corinthian wills himself to, just before fear overtook him, "it'd be stupid of you not to realize the feelings we evidently share for each other."

Lord Morpheus' frightful and terror-inspiring form begins to dwindle, to lose its edge at the his words. Corinthian was, like the Lord of Dreams said, a deceiver, a master at that, but he was nonetheless true at a point though. That was why a paleness overtook Dream's face, dejected, cold.

Corinthian enjoys the fact he has the upper hand, "I've been spending all my time, frolicking with-"

"And yet," his voice cracks like thunder, "you were denied," Dream cuts, smashes with a sledgehammer. He nears Corinthian. His master feels his shudder, "enough of your games, child."

A shiver runs down his spine. The power of his words over Corinthian was absolute gospel. He felt like he was being drawn back into the depths by his ankles. Cori was not giving up without a fight however.

"I can hear your true intentions, Corinthian," Dream speaks, "cease your childish prods-"

"No," Corinthian snorts. He points a finger to the ground, "no, you're wrong. You can't make me!"

He watches Dream narrow his eyes and tilt his head. He gulps when he hears him say, "can't I?"

Corinthian feels his body vibrate in anger, in annoyance, in deviance.

At the same time, they both feel the stirring of the being's consciousness.

Corinthian heaves, forcing himself to laugh, "there's still something you still don't understand, pops."

Dream is done with him, and yet he decides to humor his Corinthian, "and what would that be?"

"Unlike you, we actually have a relationship, and I'm actually, at least, friends with t-"

I gasp awake, feeling a cold sweat down my neck. I squeal and snap my head to the side when I hear a voice from across my bedroom.

It's Corinthian, taunting me, a blanket on his form from where he was spending the night on my sofa chair, groaning as he shifted, lips curving upward, "nightmare?"

I catch my breath, scowling, grabbing the pillow beside me on my bed, "asshole!" I throw the pillow at him, "I knew it was a bad idea to let you sleep over!"

Corinthian is hit in the face by my unexpectedly good shot. The glasses he kept on slips from his nose and yet he is undeterred, and even chuckles, "that's what you get for playing good Samaritan."

"Rat!" I bark, "cretin! TROLL! GREMLIN-"

"I don't know why you're so angry," Cori laughs, "I'm sure you don't remember a thing."

"That doesn't mean I don't feel the fear in my body, moron! IMBECILE!"

Dream, on the other hand, who manifested his consciousness back in the Dreaming, alerts Matthew, who had been waiting for him, perched on his throne's backrest.

"So?" the raven crows.

Dream ignores him, standing from his throne, and walking off with a dark cloud over head.

Matthew watches him storm away. He sighs, "I told you to just ask if Corinthian was-"

"Silence, bird."

Matthew stops. He sighs. He'd roll his eyes if he could. He gently mocks, "ok then, boss. You're the boss, boss."

108 notes · View notes

epersonae · 1 year

Note

Because you said we could ask anything I wanted to ask about the whole meta level to the whole "rpf but not rpf" thing? I feel dense for not picking up on whatever is being commented on but I haven't been able to pinpoint anything.

Then again I'm not an RPF person at ALL but I've been following your stuff and I blew through WFU like it was nothing so there must be something special going on.

Before I get into it, this is the first time I've tried to put any of these thoughts in writing other than in rambly DMs, mostly I've thought about this out loud or talked in voice chat or a few times in person, so it may be a bit incoherent!

I'm also tagging in @gaypiratebrainrot, who I'm sure will have a quite different but intersecting take - I took what they did and ran with it in my own way. (I feel exceptionally fortunate to have had them both as an editor and as a friend who encouraged my various ramblings on this topic.)

That said, below the cut are my thoughts about the "meta level", which I think fall into two categories: constructing characters and the role of fanfiction inside of the story.

First, the whole process of constructing characters. For me, it was a very deliberate thing; with Ed and Stede, it's figuring out how to balance the canon characters and (the public perception of) the people who perform them. This, with the bonus complication of the actors having talked about how they feel about the characters in relationship to themselves, for me at least makes for a very self-aware writing experience. (And an entirely new conception of parasociality, I think it permanently changed my mental landscape!)

In WFU this is also addressed directly in the text by the characters themselves talking about AUs:

“It’s sort of like, you take the essence of the characters and their dynamic, and see how they might behave in different worlds,” Wee John says. “It’s experimental. You’ve got your coffee shop alternate universes, your sci-fi alternate universes, your actor alternate universes—” “Yeah, but, like, isn’t this the actor alternate universe,” Frenchie says, gesturing around them. “Like, Stede and Ed are kinda like alternate timeline Rhys and Taika.” “No, no,” Wee John says. “It’s all about transporting enough elements of the character for it to read like the same person, just living a different life. You couldn’t just write a story about Ed and Stede and call them Rhys and Taika.” “It’s kinda like, reinforcing the idea of some inherent self, though,” Frenchie says. “Like, as if we have some kind of soul that would be consistent across circumstances, instead of all of us being dynamic living bodies that are massively shaped by the events of our lives. Whole thing sorta reeks of cartesian dualism.”

There was a great post that I saw recently that talked about AUs and understanding what are the core aspects of characters in the canon and how to translate them into a new setting, using the term "concretes", which I immediately added to my vocabulary. So these guys, WFU Ed and WFU Stede, have this strange mix of concretes (both canon and fanon), and in writing my piece, I'm also trying to match the concretes of WFU while expanding out the universe that they exist in. (This is true to a lesser extent of other characters who have a one-to-one match canon to IRL, which hasn't yet come up in my work but does a little bit later tho it is in my other fic of WFU, a secret third thing.)

Which leads me to the construction of Mary and the unnamed wife (her interior-to-my-head name is Carlita, fwiw; I actually have a "alignment chart" of variations of her name that maybe I'll throw onto this post) - because they don't match that pattern. Which made me conscious on a different level of how I was creating these amalgams: the vanishingly small amount of information I know about either Rosie Carnahan-Darby or Rita Ora or Carly Rae Jepsen, and deliberately so! I didn't want to write RPF; I wanted to match the not quite one thing or the other of WFU, and so these two women are amalgams in a different way, with different ingredients, and they're also constructed from archetypes: the Manager Wife and the Pop Star, and the whole cultural soup around those ideas.

(I have a whole separate thought about the character of Javid Denkins but that's kind of a spoiler at this point. tl;dr: It's a very goddamn funny joke that ends up having bonus meaning.)

I am forever grateful for a specific little bit of canon that was in WFU, because it let me do something different in my work: Ed takes his coffee with seven sugars (and a little bit of godawful creamer), and so when Mary and the wife meet and have coffee, suddenly that has meaning in comparison to Ed. A canon bit of goofery can become something about diet culture, and that gets to be a whole new thematic thread through the story.

And then there's fanfiction as a story element within the fanfiction. We handle it very differently, I think, between my work and WFU, because we're looking at different aspects and from different perspectives. Among other things, it fundamentally changed my approach to learn that both Rita and Carly Rae had RPF written about them over a decade ago, when both women were in their 20s.

But in both cases, fanfiction is woven through as both contrast and mirror to the story, which is of course itself fanfiction. In both stories, Ed's fic reading habits say something about him and Mary's attitudes (about RPF in particular!) say something about her. The wife's reactions to both of these things, as well as her prior experience, shape how she interacts with them. The existence of tropes or characters say something about us, the readers and writers, as well as about the world that these stories' characters live in.

For me, both the fanfiction element and the character construction end up being partially about how much is it ever possible to know anything about another person. The obvious limits, in the case of someone who is in the public eye - I love this bit from WFU: "built [...] from a handful of Youtube interviews, my Twitter feed, and a level of horniness that would fix the climate crisis if only we could harness it for renewables", and I started joking that the wife was "three youtube videos and an architectural digest article in a trenchcoat", even though it's quite a bit more complicated than that.

But not just famous people: Mary makes assumptions about Ed and his wife based on their public personas; Ed makes assumptions about Mary based on pieces of past history through the lens of his feelings for Stede, and the wife's exploration includes piecing together information from Mary's social media and Ed's fic reading habits. All we can ever know about another person is what we observe, whether that's a public persona or their words and behavior. (There's a secret third level of how much can one ever know about oneself, but that's probably a different post.) And that circles back around to the writer and the reader: how much do we know about the canon characters? the famous people? the characters in the story?

(MASSIVE shout out to the phenomenal beta team of @gaypiratebrainrot, @veeagainsttheday, and @emi--rose for pointing out where I needed to really boost this question of who knows how much of what and when. Their incredibly smart observations did so much to help me bring out that theme among others.)

I don't know if that even answers your question, but it's some of the extra material that's been in my head as I've been writing and editing. I also had never read any RPF (with the curious exception of a notable No Reservations - Narnia crossover) before WFU and it basically melted my brain, which I have continued to process through the experience of writing for the benefit of all the broken hearts. So yeah, something different going on here for sure.

#anon asks #my writing #my fic #the conscious effort of Making Some Guys (gn) out of parts did something to my brain #(I'm not mad about it)#also a thing I've said about RO more than once: everything I know about her I've learned entirely against my will #but I just stole bits and pieces as they fit the story I wanted to tell #hope I am anywhere in the vicinity of answering your question anon #also all the folks I tagged: pls add on with your thoughts #this philosophy shit is easy

29 notes · View notes

gemmahale · 26 days

Note

Hiii! For the writers ask my question for you is: what keeps you on track when working out a story? Especially a story with intricate details that will pan out way later in the game?

Talk Shop Tuesday!

Ooh. This is a convoluted answer.

I have a summary at the top of my working document. Sometimes this has 2-3 iterations in bullet points, sometimes it's a few paragraphs, it kind of depends on what mood I'm in while I'm drafting. Sometimes it's a scribbled 3 sentence clusterfuck I have to decode.

All my key info is kept in the summary/character profiles near the top of the document for easy reference.

If I have a conversation about it in Discord or DM's I'll try and screengrab/summarize the takes from there too (or I'll search them if I need to.)

I also probably rely far too much on my own memory too. 😅 Does that mean I've lost some things? Sure, but it also means that I have new ideas that integrate much more smoothly. (Tagging things on Tumblr with the specific WIP tag and #Insipration or #Reference helps too.)

Now, if I were writing by hand, and not digitally? A lot of post-it notes, a journal with too many highlighters, and a corkboard with a lot of yarn. 😅

Spoilers below the cut. Pass at your own risk. Includes Reference to:

Museum Muse + Righteous Fury

Feylands

Bury the Lede

Headers in Google Docs has been (and continues to be) the easiest way for me to navigate a story.

Take Museum Muse/Righteous Fury for Example. This is in my "Working Document" where I keep important information to reference later. V1 and V2 have two different POV's in it, for example.

And this is in the working document for Righteous Fury. Chapters, then scenes, and scraps at the end.

In Feylands, in contrast:

But I have key info about all of the characters (though this has now changed and needs to be revised - oops) under their names. I have a direct line to the setting to make sure I get my information straight if I need to make a reference. (Tbh, this is a shoddy example because I need to clean it up and streamline the thoughts - but that's neither here nor there. It's a mess in my head and on paper until I write lol.)

Now, when it comes to long-term planning? Ehhhh...there's a reason I don't publish work until I'm happy with the whole story for the most part. That gives me the chance to go back, nudge details, account for something that'll pay off in spades later, make sure that my clues are set in the right place, etc.

With some stories, I'm running on vibes alone and I don't really have a plot sorted out. I spend time exploring the characters (Feylands has little blurbs for every character that I tweak as I find things out about them, for example), until a story begins to develop. Or I'll write as far as I can and then noodle on it for a while. (Sorry, Bury the Lede, I just can't figure out how to get into the next part yet.)

Usually I have the general plot (What if x happens? Shenanigans. is my go to.) figured out though. Specific details don't pay off until I'm writing and then it's a matter of rereading what I have and relying on my (sometimes questionable) memory/notes.

I told you it was convoluted, lol.

#gemma rambles #gemma writes fanfic #gemma answers #gemma talks wips #Talk Shop Tuesday #WraithDance #Feylands WIP #Museum Muse WIP #Righteous Fury WIP #Bury the Lede WIP

3 notes · View notes

your-ghoul-pal · 1 year

Text

Aurora Borealis

Pairing: Aurora (she/her) x Sunny (they/them) Warnings: none WC: 2k Tags: fluff, vaguely implied transfem Aurora, just pure fluff and wholesome, not beta'd or proofread

Read on AO3

Sunshine was excited yet scared, they'd been informed about the idea of summoning more ghouls for the band since they and Aether had to stay back. They wished that they could've gone, but other duties called for them. At least they had someone around they knew well. Sunshine was happy that Aether decided to stay back and help them with the duties, even though Sunny knew how much Aether loved touring.

After laying in bed staring at the ceiling for satan knows how long? They decided to get up and throw on something simple, no need to dress fancy for a summoning, definitely since they had been told it was going to be another man. Like they didn't have enough boys around already! Sunny threw on their jeans and a simple band tee, judging by the size of it, it wasn't theirs. While they make their way to leave, they hear a knocking on the door, "come on, the summoning is in 5, we need ya Sunny "

Sunshine sighed, "I'm already coming", opening the door to see Aether standing there, dressed in jeans and a button up. "Why the fuck are you trying to look fancy?" Sunshine frowned at him. "Just want to make a good first impression" Aether smiled at them. They raised their eyebrow but decided to let it be and walked towards the summoning room.

Sunshine waited impatiently, they'd rather be reading or drawing right now instead of standing in the cold damp basement of the church. The room was filled with a haze and they could barely see a meter in front of them 'was it also like this when they were summoned' they wonder fiddling with the cloak they're holding. "Why does it take so long?" They asked, Cirrus turns and motions for them to be quiet.

Sunshine waits and looks at the haze puddling in the middle of the circle. A body seems to appear. Sunshine unfolds the cloak and readies it to give it to the new summon, who is now a full body. Their hair is long and pink fading to purple, their skin is a light grey with little spats of colours dancing over it.

'Holy fuck' Sunshine can't believe their eyes, this wasn't just another one of the boys. Okay the boys were not ugly either, just not much to their taste. But the new summon made their stomach twist. Sunshine turns their gaze to the floor, hoping to hide their flustered face.

"Hello, welcome upside" Sunshine recognised Cirrus' voice "What's your name?" "I don't have one, or at least not one fit for me" the summon spoke with a soft tender voice, with a soft accent, Sunshine isn’t sure what the accent is but they guess French.

"Hey Sun, can you hand them the cloak? It's nice to be a bit covered ya know" Cirrus laughed. Sunshine shook their head and walked up to the two, carefully hanging the cloak over the shoulders of the new summon. Now that they were so close Sunshine could feel their energy, air and something else, maybe fire? like them. or maybe quintessence?

"Hi, I'm Sunshine" They held their hand out for the smaller ghoul to shake. "Hi" they grabbed their hand. "I'm gonna leave the 2 of you to figure it out, I need to get to rehearsal, see ya later!" Cirrus says before walking away.

"I don't know if i like her" the summon spoke again, "Don't worry, she is very kind, but also just very, well serious while also fun" Sunshine reassures the other "Also you don't seem like one of the boys? I was told we would have another ghoul come up." Sunshine asks, raising their eyebrows. "Did they really? still? No, I am not another ghoul. I'm a ghoulette The summon spoke, a slight hurt in her voice.

"Come with me, I'll give you some better clothes and show you around, is that good?" Sunshine says to move on from the previous subject "I guess so?" The summon says, finally looking around the room, quickly putting up a face of disgust "I do hope the rest looks better than this" she laughs. "Oh it will" Sunshine smiles before gesturing to the other to follow them.

Sunshine hands the smaller ghoul one of their older dresses that doesn't really fit them anymore. "You okay with a dress,?i don't think I have anything that fits better " "I don't mind, they seem comfortable"

The new ghoulette admires herself in the mirror, the light yellow flower dress creating a perfect contrast to her pink/purple hair. "All the colours on you make me think of the Aurora borealis" Sunny says "the what?" the new ghoul turned around to face them "Aurora Borealis. the northern lights" Sunny says. "never heard of it." "It is very pretty. Wait, maybe it's visible tonight, that is one of the good things of living so far north" Sunny explains.

The rest of the day Sunshine leads the new summon around the church, showing routes, rooms and chores. Sunshine doesn't notice how the other is not paying attention to Sunshine, or at least not to what they're saying but rather their looks.

Once the two walk back to the ghoul quarters Sunshine turns to the other, "Ehm, they are still working on new rooms so there isn't one for you yet. You are welcome to stay with me for so long if you want to" "oh, yeah, uhm thanks" "But first, dinner," Sunshine says, already smelling the food.

Dinner goes somewhat smoothless, once the new summon is given a quick rundown of how eating upside goes. 'They're a fast learner' Sunshine thinks, staring at her. Well it may be more admiring than just staring. "Hey Sunny, are you still with us here, we asked you something?" a voice sounds "oh, huh, sorry I was thinking" Sunshine mutters Cumulus raises her eyebrow at them but goes back to eating before they can comment on it. "Sunshine. Do you know where she will sleep?" Mountain asked, motioning to the new summon. "Yeah I told her, she is welcome to stay in my room." Sunshine answers quickly. Mountain raises his eyebrow at them but shrugs it off, at least they didn't have to figure that out anymore.

Sunshine grabbed the new summon along to their room after dinner, "It is not a lot yet, I'm still working on it, but it is better than nothing." Sunshine exclaims while dragging the small ghoulette with them.

"Welcome in, even though you've already seen it" Sunshine announces opening their door, showing their room, it is small with light blue walls painted with flower fields at the bottom. The bed is small but big enough to fit the two small ghouls. The mirror is leaning against the dresser in the corner. "It looks quite lovely" the smaller one exclaims, 'not as lovely as you' Sunshine thinks.

The rest of the evening the two sit on the bed, talking about life in the pit and upside. Both learning a lot about the other, making them admire the other even more. By the time Cirrus comes in to check on them, both are beaming and talking loudly. "Hey little fellas!" Cirrus says with a smile. "What do you want, giant?" Sunshine smiles back. "Look outside, I think you'll like it, anyways, have fun and good night" Cirrus says before slipping out the door. The new summon raises her eyebrow at Sunshine, who shrugs "Shall we go onto the roof?" "Can we?" the smaller one beams "Surely" Sunshine smiles

"Careful. Now place your foot here. And voila, we're up!" Sunshine exclaims, looking up at the sky. Aurora Borealis How did they forget it was going to be this visible tonight?

"Look" Sunshine points at the sky, the small ghoulette follows their gesture, "holy shit, that's beautiful" "It is" Sunshine says, sitting down and gesturing for the other to join them

For a while they sit in silence, admiring the sky. Shovelling closer and closer to each other while the night cools down. "I understand a little why you said I remind you of it" The new ghoulette says after a while, startling Sunshine. “The dancing of the colours in the sky is similar to the colours shifting over my skin” the shorter ghoulette continues, “Maybe that could be my name!” “Aurora?” Sunshine asks unsure. “Yes!” she exclaims, almost losing her balance, Sunshine grabs her and pulls her close against them. “I do like the name Aurora, and it does fit you well, but please don’t fall off the roof, you have a tour to do first” Sunshine smiles. “Thank you” Aurora says, her voice still filled with fear. “Don’t worry about it, I am here if you need anything” Sunshine says, Aurora curling against them enjoying the warmth radiating off of them. “Why are you so nice and warm?” Aurora slurs out, half dozing off already. “Because I am a multi; air, fire and a little quintessence” Sunshine says proudly. “That is cool” Aurora says, snuggling even more into Sunshine’s warmth. “I think it may be time to head back inside and get some sleep, I know from experience that sleeping on the roof is not very comfortable or liked by the upper clergy.” Sunshine says, carefully pushing Aurora off. “Hmmmpf, Can I just take a small nap here, please?” Aurora says, turning her head and giving Sunshine puppy eyes. “Oh so that is your tactic, fine. You may take a nap, only because you are new” Sunshine smiles at her.

After a few minutes Aurora has dozed off, softly snoring while being half curled against Sunshine. Who just enjoys the company of their new pack mate, finally having time to understand their thoughts and feelings. Ever since they saw her, their stomach was twisting, their heart was beating just a little faster and oh, the staring. They could not stop staring at her, at her wavy hair, coloured so brightly pink and purple. The way that their dress fit her so perfect, creating one of the prettiest smiles they had ever seen. Were they in love? But even if they truly were (which surprise was truly true), they should let her adapt to the upside first. They would let time take the lead, they would see where things would go but for now they just enjoyed the moment.

Aurora was still peacefully sleeping an hour later, Sunshine had only been thinking. “Hey, little space bug, I think I like you. But having said that, can you move maybe” Sunshine whispers while carefully pushing Aurora off of them a bit. “Mphf, I was so comfy” Aurora protests, but she sits up regardless. “Fine, let’s go to bed” she sighs.

Once back in, now their room, Sunshine gives her a random shirt and pair of shorts. Aurora cocks her eyebrow at them, “Pyjama, we sleep in different clothes than we live in during the day” Sunshine explains “Also that is probably not my shirt, we tend to just take each others clothes, so don’t worry about it too much” “Thanks” Aurora says, carefully sniffing the shirt, the smell was mostly Sunshine but had a vague hint of the smell of the ghoulette who was also there when she was summoned. She shrugs and changes into the other clothes. “We shall figure out this all better tomorrow, okay?” Sunshine suggests, seeing Aurora confused about seemingly everything. “Sounds like a plan” Aurora smiles, plopping down onto the bed. Sunshine joins her, laying down by the wall. “You can make yourself comfortable wherever you like” they say, half curling up. Aurora hesitates for a moment before she lays down and curls against Sunshine. Snuggling her face into their shoulder. Sunshine hesitates before they drape their arm over her and pull her closer to them. And curled up together, tails and limbs intertwined they fall asleep.

The next morning they are found like that, both smiling and snoring softly by Aether, who takes a picture to gush over later before leaving them to be. He is mostly just happy that the new ghoulette has found her place already.

43 notes · View notes

thetavolution · 4 months

Note

I'm unclear if you meant you wanted asks for those couples of yours, but just in case:

14. Rings - What do their rings look like, if they choose to exchange any?

15. Vows and Unity Ceremonies - Does the couple exchange vows? Do they complete any kind of "unity" ceremony, like handfasting, planting a tree together, etc?

18. I Now Pronounce You... - Do your characters change their last names, keep their last names, arrange for a specific kind of name? For example, "Mr. and Mr. Dekarios" or "Lord and Lady Ravengard-Cliffgate"?

3. The First Look - Write about the moment when your married couple sees each other in their wedding outfits for the first time.

I'll think about answers for later. <333

Thank you for sending this! I'll be honest, I didn't really know how it worked haha. I just wanted to tag people who might want to do it. I have no idea what I'm doing.

I would have probably filled these out without asks because I'm just like that.

BG3 Wedding Season Tag Game

14. Rings - What do their rings look like, if they choose to exchange any?

Gale is definitely the easiest to figure out rings for, for both the Gale/Tessa and Gale/Vaira pairings. Ed Greenwood, the Forgotten Realms creator, explained Waterdeep wedding ring traditions:

"Each person about to be married takes their own ring to the same smith (in Waterdeep, many "storefronts" for gnomes and dwarves reach anvils in the Warrens) and are ("betrothal rings" are worn on middle fingers in the Realms) "sized."

Then both rings are cut in half, the non-matching halves fused together to create two half-and-half "union" rings, made (either by adding new material or by thinning the rings to stretch what's already there) to fit the respective middle fingers (resizing visits may be necessary).

These are worn to the ceremony on fine neck-chains by the partners-to-be, then exchanged, each puts the ring on the other, and at the end of the vows, the rings are clinked together to end the ceremony, so the kissing and feasting can start."

Wyll proposed with an acorn. He would eventually have a ring, but it's hard to top that acorn. I think he'd probably use his mother's ring. Both Lamia and Minty would happily accept that, too.

Lae'zel has no idea what you're talking about. She does not care about weddings. Laura, fortunately, doesn't care that much about tradition. A ring exchange would not be part of their ceremony.

Halsin wouldn't do rings either. He wouldn't even have a wedding. He'd have something wedding adjacent. Maybe this is a hot take, but while he is poly, I don't think he's as "we just roam and do whatever" as he claims. I'm sure he was in his younger years, but he's more prepared to settle down now. It doesn't mean he's less poly, just less "I roam around and if my partner takes off, that's how it is." He actually wants something more stable.

Exactly what the ceremony or tradition he partakes in would look different depending on his partner, so it'd be different for both Ingrid and Paloma. That said, he still wouldn't care for rings. It feels to close to claiming ownership for his liking.

Astarion would have jewelry from 200+ years ago that he would use for his rings. And the rings would be, I dare say, gaudy as hell. Lamia would also love something that flashy. Bex would just go with the flow and defer to what Astarion would want.

Barcus would make rings for his betrothed. They'd be rustic, yet heartfelt.

Rolan would overthink it so hard. He'd hunt for the perfect rings. Since Elyse was born a noble, he'd pressure himself to get the most expensive ring. He'd eventually realize that's not what she wants, but he'd still feel like a failure if he couldn't provide it. It'd take a lot of reassurance before he accepted the cost of the ring is the least important thing.

15. Vows and Unity Ceremonies - Does the couple exchange vows? Do they complete any kind of "unity" ceremony, like handfasting, planting a tree together, etc?

Gale's vows would be an hour long. Tessa would match him for time. Vaira, on the other hand, would be more succinct. Hilariously succinct. And it would sound so perfect to Gale.

Wyll would definitely exchange vows. Lamia would follow Wyll's lead for the most part. She'd be surprisingly sincere in her vows. In Minty's case, she'd want to add some more Kara-Tur traditions into the ceremony, which Wyll would love. I'd have to look into that to see if there's anything already out there on it, or what might have to be created.

Lae'zel would just challenge Laura to a fight and cry joyfully when Laura wins.

Halsin would alter what he does for his partner. I could see Ingrid and Halsin planting a tree together to watch it grow together. It'd be a gathering for their friends. With Paloma, it'd be such a small, intimate affair with vows. Halsin would 100% tear up during the ceremony.

Astarion would want a traditional elf wedding. I found this on Reddit:

"An elven marriage ceremony can take many forms. Though it is often a ritual celebrated before the entire community, it can consist simply of two elves speaking the words that bind them forever with no witnesses except the trees and the grass. Most elven weddings are officiated by a priest of whatever deity the couple deems appropriate (most often Hanali Celanil, but sometimes Corellion Larethian). The two elves write and speak their own vows, and the priest uses their own words to seal the union. Thus, an exchange of vows amounts to an exchange of life essence that forever bonds one to the other. Dowries are not usually exchanged unless the marriage is of considerable political import, though gifts to the newly wedded couple from the community are common."

Astarion seems like he'd be ostentatious in how he would write and perform the vows, but I think he'd just get emotional during the ceremony. He'd cut himself short and not even say half of what he meant to. He'd try to play it off and fail miserably.

Barcus would prefer to have something like a barn raising with an exchange of vows.

Rolan would follow Elyse's tradition of exchanging vows, but he'd also want to do handfasting.

Vaira doesn't have a surname since it's not really something gith do. She'd happily take Gale's especially since it'd help her fit in more in Waterdeep. They would become Mr. and Mrs. Dekarios. Gale would be so delighted. He doesn't need his partner to take his name, but the idea of the love his life taking his name would make his heart soar. I just think everything would make that man melt. If you don't take his name, he'd just be like "My love is so strongly independent" or something. It's win-win with him.

Tessa would want to keep her surname for social reasons. So it'd be more of a Mr. and Mrs. Dekarios-Chastain situation. Because Gale would probably feel the same about both their surnames. I told you, this man just loves his love.

Minty is proud of her family name, but also understands the importance of Wyll's. They'd become the Ravengard-Lam or Lam-Ravengard household. They're figuring it out. Their children would have both surnames.

Laura would keep her surname. Lae'zel has no interest in taking a surname, no matter how much she loves Laura. I also don't think they'd have a "I pronounce you..." moment in their wedding. They'd want something much more unique and fitting for their relationship.

Ingrid has no attachment to her surname. While I, personally, like her surname (I did give it to her after all), she associates it with her parents who she has a rough relationship with. She would happily take on Halsin's surname. He would just want her to do what makes her happy.

Astarion would want to have the same surname as his partner in my opinion. It wouldn't matter if his partner took his or if he took theirs. It would give him a sense of family and belonging. It's more about coming together as one family than the name itself.

Bex wouldn't care. They could go by either Ancunín or McQuoid and she'd be fine with it. It'd drive Astarion nuts that she'd make him decide which name they go by. (He'd pick Ancunín btw.) Lamia would most likely change her name to Ancunín. In the case of Paloma, she's not interested in changing her surname. Astarion would take hers.

Lamia would take her lover's name, be it Ancunín or Ravengard. She just does not care about her birth name. She's apathetic to it. For Astarion, it would give him that sense of family. If she's with Wyll, she will want to wield the power of the Ravengard name. Also she'd be so fucking smug about being an ex-con changeling who married a Ravengard. (Look, she does love him... but she's still petty.)

Viktor would keep his name. He would leave it up to his partner how they feel about their own name. Barcus would also keep his name. So they'd have to just be pronounced married lol.

Rolan... does he have a surname? He might take Elyse's just because she has one. Also Starling is a big deal name in Baldur's Gate and there's something juicy about a refugee tiefling getting to have it. Cal and Lia will make fun of him forever for it, too. But then they will also throw around the Starling name to get things as they should. They are Starlings by marriage now so suck it.

3. The First Look - Write about the moment when your married couple sees each other in their wedding outfits for the first time.

For now, I'm only going to do two.

Halsin and Paloma

Their outfits are simple yet elegant. They reflect nature in some way.

Halsin didn't expect Paloma's dress to affect him so profoundly. He had heard of how grooms and brides reacted upon seeing each other. He just assumed it wouldn't apply to him. He had agreed to do the commitment ceremony while never anticipating the rush of emotion that would come over him.

Seeing Paloma changed everything. She was surrounded by her children who he would also vow to care for. His family was waiting for him to join them before the Oak Father himself. It was overwhelming to say the least. He wept, happily. His tears set off Paloma's. She's also taken off-guard by how handsome he is, the man she hoped to grow old with. She'd been burned before by love and assumed her jaded heart wouldn't stir at the sight of him, and yet....

They would both be incredibly glad they had decided to do a commitment ceremony, and cherish the memory for the rest of their days.

Rolan ad Elyse

Rolan wouldn't even notice he was holding his breath. He'd be so blown away by his partner. Elyse would be able to make the most simple, inexpensive gown look like it was being worn by a queen. He'd be tongue-tied before he finally found his voice again.

Elyse would be anxious until she laid eyes on Rolan. All of her fears would melt away and it would feels as if it was just the two of them.

Cal and Lia would never let these two dorks live it down, but they'd cry the day of. Fortunately for them. Rolan is too distracted to even notice so he can't tease them back.

#wedding ask meme #BG3 Wedding Season Tag Game

3 notes · View notes

iceicewifey · 2 months

Note

wahhhh!!! (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) hiya!!!!! I'm the anon from a few days ago (the one who was inspired by you!!). to answer what u asked in the tag, I'd love to share more abt my jojo oc!!!

I'm currently developing a part 3 oc inspired on the Fem!MC for 7th Stand User (a rly cool fangame that you should DEFINITELY check out if you haven't btw).

I haven't decided on a name for her yet, but I'm calling her "Vivi" for now. It's based on the Billy Joel song "Vienna" that inspired her character! She's an 18 year old highschool student who can't wait to graduate and be more independent. She hates being talked down to and can't stand it when people assume that she's incapable of doing certain things because of her age/gender/stature.

Her Stand is named Tears for Fears. It has the ability to create illusions over a 20m radius based on the user's emotions. I originally wanted the name to be "Mad World" but I thought that it would be too similar to "The World."

Then I actually had a bit of dilemma, because I thought that the name would be "too modern of a music reference" BUT THEN I remembered that VANILLA ICE EXISTS and if he can be named after an artist that, within the JoJo universe, hasn't achieved mainstream success in the current timeline, then I can do whatever I want forever >:3

That's basically all I have for now, I hope you don't mind me rambling in your inbox (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠). I hope you have a great day!!!

- inspiredAnon B)

aaah hi again anon!! i'm sorry to have kept you waiting!! 😭

i've heard a little bit about the 7th stand user but i've never actually played it... i probably should bc it might give me some ideas for gigi since i wanna give her a traitor arc 🤔 i'll figure that out later tho.

okay but!!! 'vivi' is so cute. is 'vienna' her full name or is it just vivi? either way it's lovely. 🥺💗 and tears for fears!! i love it! pls i'm loving all your ideas and references so far, especially that stand ability 👁👁 vivi and shay have the whole gender and stature thing in common, that's one of her biggest pet peeves. does vivi get into any conflicts with the crusaders about it? (if she's a crusader i should say) 👀

ough the modern music references,,, i get that! iirc mariah's in the same boat since her debut album came out in 1990, same year as to the extreme (vanilla ice's debut), and i'm sure there's more characters too, but i wouldn't worry too much about that! i have a few references in shay's backstory (~1986-1987) that were years before the artists had made their debuts, so no shame in that! if it fits and you like it, i think you should use it!! 💗

please don't worry about rambling in my inbox btw, you're welcome to ramble all you want! 🥺💗

#mail 💌#inspiredanon #i'd have to double check with mariah carey since idk if she was in a group or anything before #now that you make me think of it shay's technically before her time too since deshay was vanilla ice's dj 😭

5 notes · View notes

paper--constellations · 4 months

Text

About, Intro, Expectations

Howdy! This is my first post on Tumblr! I intend to use this blog to spread resources, awareness, anecdotes, and all sorts of other helpful information regarding life (and subsequently navigating it while being neurodivergent). While I don't have a mascot or consistent theme for visuals quite yet, I'm choosing to start posting anyway and figure that out later.

About me: I'm neurodivergent (AuDHD, anxiety, a few other flavors) and I'm LGBTQ+. I'm a tech enthusiast and enjoy reading, watching YouTube, listening to podcasts, and watching anime and other good shows.

Why I'm making this: I had a rough childhood and left home completely unprepared to be an adult. I had no discipline, no expectations, no idea what life would expect of me and zero clue about how things worked. It felt like everything was stacked against me, and it became unbearable because I had nobody to ask. I was floundering. I'm fairly stable now because I've learned to adapt and grow as a person, but I think it's very unfair that a lot of people are going to end up in the exact same position as I once was in. I've taught several friends how to do basic tasks, and it's frustrating to find out how much people just don't know. Nobody deserves to flounder and feel hopeless, no one deserves to feel like a failure because frankly nobody talks about these things early enough. I don't care about balancing a checkbook, but creating a secure password for my online accounts? Searching for somewhere to live and how to tell I'm not being ripped off or worse? What my rights are in the workplace? That's the kind of thing I want to talk about, just things that would have been helpful when I was starting out. Of course, I'll talk about a lot more, but it's a start. I want this to be a handy guide for folks who have questions or just no idea where to start learning.

I have no plans to paywall any information because I'm not a guru, I'm just some guy who happens to obsess about finding answers, living well, and not getting screwed over.

Bit of an aside, and I'm not sure why I feel this is necessary, but I'm based in the USA so of course my tips and views will be skewed accordingly. What works for me may not work for you, use your best judgement. Please don't steal or repost my work, hyperlink to it instead. If you need to take unedited snippets, please contact me first. Nothing I say should be taken as gospel, do your own research first. I may get things wrong, and I'm open to corrections. I will also be tagging my posts so they can be sorted by category and more easily parsed.

That being said, let's do this!

#autism #neurodiversity #adhd #actually adhd #actually autistic #lgbtqia #lgbtq #life lessons #life hacks

5 notes · View notes

dairine-bonnet · 1 year

Text

Part of my Revan playlist

Game Rules: Choose one of your characters and list songs that fit them.

There's been a while since I got an idea to make a list of the songs I associate female with Revan. Unfortunately, I was pretty lazy to realise the idea, but luckily, I was tagged by @marythegizka and did it eventually. Thank you, @marythegizka , so much!:)

So I’ve chosen female Revan from different periods of time in her life for this game (and sometimes the songs are also connected with her relationship with Malak or male Exile - Peter Brookman in my headcanon). Probably, later I’ll add up more songs to the list. The order is spontaneous. Let’s go!

1. Fire by The Score (Mostly, it’s connected with amnesiac Revan and her entangled emotions she can’t comprehend. It also may be considered as the anthem of her life starting from the Mandalorian Wars at least)

«In my head I hear a million conversations

I'm spinning out, don't wake me up until the end

The rivers flowing in denial I can't fake it

I'm paranoid that all my thoughts are all my friends…»

2. Paint It Black by Ciara or Beatrice Piacentini (It mostly deals with vibes and some lines only in the period of Revan turning into a complete Dark Lady).

«I look inside myself and see my heart is black

I see my red door and it has been painted black

Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts

It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black».

3. Tightrope by Michelle Williams (This song and especially these lines below are associated with Revan/Malak relationship during and after the Mandalorian War. No more words 😊 )

«Hand in my hand

And you promised to never let go

We're walkin' a tightrope

High in the sky

We can see the whole world down below

We're walkin' a tightrope

Never sure, will you catch me if I should fall?

Well, it's all an adventure

That comes with a breathtakin' view

Walkin' a tightrope

With you…»

4. O, Children by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

(Frankly speaking, I was inspired by the scene of Hermione and Harry's friendly dance to this song from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I imagine the Exile and Revan dancing to it together and trying to collect their thoughts, while Malak is missing, everything is falling apart, the war is already underway, and the two of them begin to agitate knights and padawans to join the Republic in the war against the Mandalorians and also intend to find out what happened to Malak. The song contains hints on what lies ahead for them - … «…I was held in chains, but now I'm free…» and not only…)

«We have the answer to all your fears

It's short, it's simple, it's crystal clear

It's round about and it's somewhere here

Lost amongst our winnings

O Children

Lift up your voice, lift up your voice

Children

Rejoice, rejoice

…

Poor old Jim's white as a ghost

He's found the answer that we lost

We're all weeping now, weeping because

There ain't nothing we can do to protect you

…

Hey little train, wait for me!

I was held in chains, but now I'm free

I'm hanging in there, don't you see?

In this process of elimination…»

youtube

That scene!:)

5. No Time to Die by Billie Eilish (These lines are about that time when Revan finally finds out her true self and her real past and a little bit after that. Without a doubt, Revan is rather offended by Malak’s betrayal, that’s why ‘You were never on my side’. In my view, she doesn’t really think so).

«…I let it burn You're no longer my concern, mmm Faces from my past return Another lesson yet to learn

That I'd fallen for a lie

You were never on my side

Fool me once, fool me twice

Are you death or paradise?

Now you'll never see me cry

There's just no time to die».

6. Who You Are by Lunatica (The whole song is about amnesiac Revan and you’ll figure out why if you listen to it). Here are my favourite lines:

«Frozen and broken Don't know where you're going Losing your identity You're so caught up in hiding But everybody sees

You're never gonna feel You're never gonna heal You're never gonna know what's fake or real 'Til you know who you are You're lying to your face And running in a race You're never gonna win 'til you find your place And you know who you are».

7. Never Tear Us Apart by Bishop Briggs (Revan/Malak song before, during and after the War because then the Jedi Order “could never ever tear us apart”)

«I told you that we could fly

'Cause we all have wings,

but some of us don't know why

I was standing, you were there

Two worlds collided and they could never ever tear us apart».

8. Rewrite the Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya (Revan/Malak romantic relationship for some time before the war – forbidden and supposed to be sort of impossible… Unresolved romantic tension I’d say).

«You know I want you

It's not a secret I try to hide

But I can't have you

We're bound to break and

My hands are tied

How do we rewrite the stars?

Say you were made to be mine?

Nothing can keep us apart

Cause you are the one I was meant to find

It's up to you

And it's up to me

No one can say what we get to be

And why don't we rewrite the stars?

Changing the world to be ours…»

9. Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Lorde (I associate this song with Revan and Malak after the War and till the battle on the Star Forge).

«There's a room where the light won't find you

Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down

When they do, I'll be right behind you

So glad we've almost made it

So sad we had to fade it

Everybody wants to rule the world

Everybody wants to rule the world…»

10. Who I Am by The Score (A hero and a villain… Any comments necessary?)

«…I'm a hero and a villain

I'm a myth, and I'm a legend

Without strength and a contender

I am real and the pretender

Take me as I am, or don't 'Cause I don't give a damn, no…»

11. End of Evangelion: Komm, süßer Tod =)

I know, I know I've let you down I've been a fool to myself I thought I could Live for no one else But not through all the hurt and pain It's time for me to respect The ones you love Mean more than anything So with sadness in my heart I feel the best thing I could do Is end it all And leave forever What's done is done, it feels so bad What once was happy now is sad I'll never love again My world is ending I wish that I could turn back time 'Cause now the guilt is all mine Can't live without the trust from the ones you love. I know we can't forget the past You can't forget love and pride Because of that it's killing me inside It all returns to nothing, it all comes Tumbling down...

youtube

Tagging:@for-the-love-of-starwars , @kick-girl , @storageofdust (only if you like to join in =) )

If you are here, please, feel free to share your thoughts on these songs or share the songs you associate with Revan (Malak or the Exile). :)

18 notes · View notes

michaelmyersofficial · 8 months

Text

24.01.2024 Wednesday Night

Realizing that I'll likely need code names for non-Ena friends. It's a friend's birthday today, we were meant to do something together, but they were busy most of the day on Genshin, I don't blame them, of course. However, they did ask me to clear my schedule except therapy today, and I did. Now it's currently getting late, and I'm rather tired, yet we have not done anything. I did have a meeting with my therapist today, it had to be set an hour later than usual, and next weeks 2 hours earlier than usual due to some kind of scheduling error. The change in routine left me more exhausted than I had anticipated despite it not seeming like a big deal. We talked about the future and what that might mean for me, but to be quite honest, I have no idea. It's not like I can even properly make plans, I haven't had the freedom to make choices before and I'm technically not even sure I will be able to. I still have to hear back from the government. Even if they approve my request, though, that doesn't mean my family will back off with the way that they treat me, so it's not even like I can get out of survival mode just because I have a taste of what it's like to be able to make decisions on my own. Still she told me it would be good for me to think about what I might want. I've not really had the opportunity to do that before, so I guess she's not wrong, but I have no idea what that might look like. The possibilities being endless is, in some ways, just as terrifying as not having a possibility at all. Though I think I'd prefer this sort of question to not even having to ask it. That said, I haven't been able to figure out any of the answers. It will probably take a long time pondering them to even approach such a thing. The other thing we discussed was about potentially receiving gender affirming care, however, I am worried that even with the small amount of freedom I gain, I would still face consequences for such a thing, and the consequences unnerve me a bit. I wish I could see a doctor who was more versed in these specifics, to really understand what this might mean, but there aren't any available to me. So, I really would just have to go through it all making guesses with no support system. Finally, I know you will be reading this eventually, so I'd like to thank Ena for helping my blog look so nice. I would not have been able to achieve this without you, and I appreciate you immensely. This isn't going to be tagged with everything it probably should because I just don't have tags set up to keep things from clogging up the main tags yet.

#diary #therapy #gender #ena

3 notes · View notes

catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year

Note

hello i want to send some of those drawing prompts in but i know nothing about your ocs. would you mind telling me a little about them? general personality traits, theme song (if they had one), role, and whatever else you'd like :>

owo!!!!!! :D okay SO i have multiple different stories (many many many) but I'll elaborate on the two that are currently most in my mind (apart from the animal-centric one, #taira, which wouldn't work with those drawing prompts)

Um. Putting this under a read more because it's getting long. Gonna copy-paste the under-the-cut stuff into a reblog to my backup sideblog, tho, just in case. Trigger tags are for the second story, and only because they're mentioned as part of it but definitely not in detail.

#adira - the tag goes for both the story as a whole and the main character. in summary my beloved girl discovers the Bible (dystopia which has wiped out Christianity in that location and no internet so very localised an controlled) and has a crisis of faith while working everything out. that's the first book. it develops, but yeah. most of these characters start out in their early/mid teens. may be referencing later events because this series is likely to end up covering at minimum a decade of their lives to a greater or lesser degree.

Adira - has a temper (classic redhead), passionate and intense about many things, somewhat arrogant, very determined to figure out the truth of the world, somewhat a self insert (has ended up completely accidentally very visually similar to me xD ) . I don't know her theme song. She's the main character. I love her so much. I can talk endlessly about her but also I'm kinda mixed up atm with reading over past drafts and how she was portrayed then and how that'll change.

Tom - ALSO has a temper (ends up with significant anger issues/tendency to violence that require a lot of work to get over and nearly destroys his marriage), physically disabled (details to be worked out), has a bunch of health issues, significant self-hatred and attendant mental problems, tendency towards obsession, side B bi. Dunno if he has a theme song as I've found yet. He's a supporting/secondaryish/main character. Becomes one of Adira's closest friends and has a significant role in the first book. Has a nasty history that honestly has ended up more like grooming than anything else (he the victim). Is driven by determination and an iron will that will carry him almost beyond the point of endurance. I love this dude sm. Also he's possibly half Indian? Not certain yet tho. But yeah, I got a lot to figure out about his character. Incidentally he and Adira end up married (and yeah their relationship tips into toxic territory for a while before he gets pulled up short and forced to rebuild it; not entirely his fault but definitely mostly). Obviously I need to work on that bit too but since that's plenty beyond the first book I'm more working on setting up foreshadowing and his character so that he'll develop into that sort. (I love him but he Sure Has Issues.)

Emily - uhhhh she's not particularly fleshed out yet xD She's Adira's adopted sister, but they're not especially close anymore (they grow closer over the course of the books, and were friends as small children). I had an idea for her and then I kinda a) realised it didn't fit with the rest of it and b) yoinked the best bits of her character for a different story which I'll expand on once I've done with these ones xD Anyway, she is good and kind and sweet and gentle and I love her. Her only real faults are rather Jane-Bennet-ish at present, and also that she's too ready to agree unquestioningly with those she trusts. In later books she goes through a crisis of faith and quite literally nearly dies as a result (there's a fun bit in there where the other characters on the scene realise that they don't know if the danger she ended up in was accidental or deliberate (it was accidental) and others go through Many Emotions as a result; they're all in a hard spot at that point with varying mental challenges). I found a theme song for her once but I can't remember what it was. She's a side/secondary character.

Dorothy - Adira and Emily's mother. She's somewhat similar to her daughter, but without some of the emotion to drive her. Pretty cool and calculating, but with a great warmth underneath. She's repressed her emotion for years and years in a mildly abusive family situation (her husband Theo is horrible and I despise him). She helps Adira to figure things out, with the help of a friend she introduces Adira to (Mr Saunders). I feel like I don't have a great handle on her character specifically, just Vibes.

Mr Saunders - he's ended up being a main character of the short story collection I call on here #suh, because two of the five stories (including the longest, at 23k) deal with him as a main character. (That short story collection is to be self-published in ??? once I finish editing it. his stories are tagged #story:wcb and #story:preacher (tho I'm not sure the latter has anything tagged as yet.) Anyway I've got it professionally edited I just need to go through that and then one more round of edits and then it's formatting and printing timeee.) Anyway, he's old and slow and very very gentle and kind. Like Dorothy, there are depths to him. But he loves deeply and has been hurt and yet those hurts slip off him like water. I love him so much and wish I could meet him in real life. He's the only one at the start of the story who is already currently Christian (in secret tho, and his ending is... I have Thoughts on that), though he's introduced mid-story. He's v important to Adira's development.

Neil - this dude has been severely depressed for YEARS okay he's my darling even tho it's mostly his own fault. Originally heavily inspired by Loukanos from S. J. Knight's A Time To series (fantastic 10000/10 would recommend, especially the first book). He's a doctor. He's Emily's biological uncle, her only remaining biological family. He has terrible hurt in his past, and he dwells on it and grows rancid over it. Incredibly bitter and lashes out. Not sure when he's gonna be introduced in-story, I know by what time I need him in the book but I dunno when he'll be introduced. He also has trauma/resentment around Christianity that he has to work through. I need to flesh him out better.

Giselle - we only learn her name closer to the end, when she and the story part ways. Her tag is #the evil spychologist. Not a typo, and for a good reason. Anyway, I adore writing her scenes and interactions with Adira. Shows how much I love writing stories where the main character is aware that they're being manipulated. Her character as herself isn't particularly apparent (she may show up later in the books or she may not) she's more a front for the evil government.

Those are the only main characters I can think of at this instant, but other side characters include Rosalind (kind of love interest for Tom at one point, it's complicated), Elton (can i punch his face can i PLEASE punch his face), Merry (either Adira or Emily's friend from <extracurricular>), Sandra (Dorothy's friend w a family), Rick (the resident Good Atheist), [name] (I forgot her name rn but she was Adira's friend from IMI, becomes an archivist like Dorothy and later meets Adira again. looked conservative and quiet and happy and whatnot in school and when she meets her again she's sporting a smart blue haircut, incredible heels and long sleeves...), and not to forget the twins Adira and Tom unexpectedly adopt with zero notice in like the fifth book xD their names are Faith and Hope. There's also another Faith (hehe spoilers but I love her sm).

oh crumbs I forgot Tom's entire family. Anyway there are a bunch of them. Alison (mother), can't remember his dad's name, and the kidlings are in no particular order Norah, Elizabeth, Katy, Rufus, Andy (he's importanter), Rufus's twin uhhhh can't remember his name, I think that's all the kiddos. I named each of the girls after a character I love lol.

ANYWAY I think that's all the summary of that particular series. moving on to the other which has a much smaller cast and is very character-driven

#vaniah - this tag goes for both the focal character and the story. Basically a story of healing from trauma, partly using the vehicle of an arranged marriage to handle it. It's very strongly Christian, both main characters are Christians and their faith is the only thing that holds them through everything, especially Vaniah.

Vaniah - my boy is Traumatised. Partly this is his own fault/perceived as his fault bc he was pressured into things and feels later that he should've said no, and he deals with incredible guilt and self-hatred. It's an extremely dark story with a lot of dark themes (graphic on-page self harm at least once as well as description of scarring, lots of discussion of suicidal ideation, potential suicide attempt, mentions of alcoholism and a couple of instances of my boy being Quite Drunk, some level of mentions of adult themes and slightly suggestive content, though that especially I will handle as carefully as I'm able). However! there is light hearted stuff in there too and ultimately it's a story of hope and rising from rock bottom. Vaniah loves butterflies and will infodump for as long as anyone wants about them (and other things). I dont really know how to talk about his character because for most of it he's SO consumed with self hatred to a greater or lesser extent. I don't know, I'm not selling this very well xD Alexandra has done fanart of a scene from this story and I'm still obsessed with it.

Emily - I know she has the same name as in Adira's story. These were originally connected, and now she's different. I'm still using this name but that will change in time (possibly to Amelie? idk). She deals with an eating disorder which Vaniah also helps her with. She's sweet and very gentle but has strong feelings. Vaniah perceives her as very pure and innocent, though this in fact is not quite true. She's been through somewhat herself, and her hope and faith are more out of determination than come easy.

I could ramble on about these two forever but I have somewhat done so before probably (you could check the tags. the tag #emily does cover both Emilies tho)

Side characters include: Ben (Emily's brother), Camilla (his wife), [name] (Vaniah's sister), uhhhhh there are probbably more I'm forgetting rn

Please ask me for any details or clarification or ask about anything to do with anything! :D

#if you want to know the real titles of anything here just dm me! in fact i have drafts of covers for both vaniah and the first book of adira #adira #vaniah #tw suicidal ideation #tw sh #tw ed #thank you for the ask!!#ask #gobby #ask me anything

11 notes · View notes

emiliosandozsequence · 1 year

Text

i stole this lol but it seemed fun so <3

What was your first ever story idea? What happened to it? it was a fantasy novel about an elf girl. i've never read a book where the main character is an elf, so i decided to write one myself. i did actually end up writing it; it was the first novel i ever wrote and i was 14 when i did it (still proud of that; it was 230 pgs in a word document btw). anyway, i ended up losing access to the manuscript, so rip, but i'm fully intending to rewrite it someday and make it a lot better than it was when i was writing it at 14.

What’s your writing routine? usually i'll put on music and just start writing whatever comes to mind for whatever scene i'm trying to write at the time. whenever i can't figure out what to do next, i'll go on tumblr and scroll for a bit until it comes to me. it's pretty effective, though my editor literally thinks i'm doing nothing all day bc of this even tho i Promise him i'm Working On It 😭😭😭

Are you a plotter, a pantser, or something in between? in between for sure. i plan things as i go. i start with an overall idea and then just...start writing and plan for the next chapters as they come to me. with the novel i'm currently writing, i've only planned up through chapter 8 and i'm currently writing chapter 4. i used to plan everything, but for some reason that made it so much harder for me to actually write the novels, so i don't do that anymore.

Do you try to tell moral stories throughout your work, or any other life lessons? What are they? there was a time where i did that, but the older i've gotten, the more i've realized a solid plot is a lot more important than telling any moral story. whether you like it or not, people are going to remember your book for the story you tell, not the reason you're telling it, and as a reader, i tend to go for stories with more solid plots than morals anyway.

What do you prefer, character development or worldbuilding? Why? both?? idk they both come very easily to me. to the point that there's been times where i think i haven't done enough of either and people have read my work and told me the opposite. i guess worldbuilding is more fun, but it's harder, which i think is probably why i like it more than character development bc that comes even easier to me than worldbuilding.

Do you have any tips for budding writers? i'll tell you exactly what my editor told me in the first class of his i took when i was 12: write like a shark. whatever you're writing, write it until it's done. go back and edit later. i've learned you can do a little bit of editing as you go once you've finished a few novels because then you know you can do it (speaking from experience; i've finished 7 and self-published 2 and am working on my 8th), but if you're new to writing and you haven't finished a book yet, don't do it. you will get caught up in it otherwise. especially if you have adhd (like i do).

Who inspires you to write the most? at the moment?? probably tamsyn muir. we have a shocking amount in common (our birthday's are literally a single day apart, though she's older than me by several years) and her books are exactly the kind of books i want to write. but also mary doria russell (duh) because we have very similar writing styles; ellen hopkins because she really was who really taught me (through me reading her books) how to write emotional stuff really well; brandon sanderson bc nothing is ever going to beat how i felt at the ending of the mistborn trilogy; and marie lu because her characters from the legend trilogy live in my mind rent free still and i can't help thinking of day every time i create a new boy.

tagging @thinking-in-broken-scenes @naysaltysalmon @the-lisechen and anyone else that wants to!! i just tagged people i know are also writers <3

#txt

3 notes · View notes

more-than-a-princess · 2 years

Text

@dcviated asked: 10 and 15!

Munday Writing Stuff - Accepting!

Something that bothers you to read in RP specifically?

Two big ones would be muses with no discernible faults or weaknesses (the Mary Sue/Gary Stu sort of muse that should be appealing and attractive to everyone. I have chosen not to follow blogs for this very reason: decent writing quality, but too-perfect muses), and quiet/brooding/introspective muses whose threads don't leave much to interact with or respond to. Closely followed by replies that answer questions from your previous reply, but don't add anything else to the thread.

But a Danganron.pa-specific annoyance? DR muses whose talents never factor into their lives. Yes, they're written as being admitted to Hope's Peak Academy based on such-and-such talent, and then the muns...never show them engaging with that talent. Not even schoolwork.

As fun as high school stories can be, the whole point of Hope's Peak, at least in the Main Course, is to gather students who are incredibly skilled in specific talents while aiming to have them be wholly and completely defined by them, in order to obtain the brightest possible future. A secured career for life, money, fame, etc. That's a lot of pressure for a 16 to 18 year old! There's even canon characters who don't want to be defined by their specific talents, and some who want to pursue other interests but due to their status at Hope's Peak, they can't.

And I really wish more DR muns would explore those topics: how did their muse's talents end up shaping their muse? Did they peak in high school? Did they eventually go on to the success the school promised?

This is more of what bothers me not to read in RP, but I think it still qualifies.

How many times do you reread a reply?

I talked about how many times I read my own in another reply, but here I'll share how many times I reread someone else's starter to me/reply in a thread:

Around a dozen.

Especially if the reply is long and/or there's a Big Dramatic Moment going on.

This is mostly due to my own writing process which involves something like this:

get tagged in reply and/or starter

read said post

Immediately get a few dialogue options that I scribble down for later

think on it for a little while/overnight/while I do something else

sit down to write properly. Read through the post at least twice more.

Put the kettle on for pot of tea #1

Look at my earlier/immediate notes and either decide 'there's something here that might be okay' or 'well this is crap and I have no idea how to match my writing partner's quality and make them feel All The Things'

Decide I need to put on a playlist. Immediately get distracted by whatever random track Spotify thinks my Daily Mix needs.

"Well, I'll read this again and then do some google searches for thread ideas. For accuracy, you know."

This inevitably leads to a deep dive of: blogs, reddit, wikipedia, and/or YouTube

"Oh, this would be a great idea for another thread/a future thread! But wait, I was supposed to get inspo for -this- thread"

Goes back to read the reply a few more times

Right around here is when I try to write the first paragraph and yell about why I can't form words good. I'm an absolute imposter of a writer because why am I not turning around thousands of words per day.

Someone messages me on discord with something inevitably more appealing than trying to write this reply. I engage with it because that's a cute meme or great idea for muse shenanigans

Put on the kettle for pot of tea #2 while browsing the dash

Laugh at some dashcomm, send some memes, immediately forget where I was going with that thread reply

Read the reply once again while the tea steeps

...finally write and queue my reply to the reply, possibly while annoyed this took so long.

This is also why writing more than three replies or starters per day for me is a real achievement. Because each time, I go through this process. I'm sure there's a better way to focus and do things but I've yet to figure it out.

#more-than-a-princess answered #more-than-a-princess musings #dcviated #(Munday Writing Stuff meme)#(Thank you for the ask bear!)#(But you better be eating cake right now)

7 notes · View notes

julianxhawthorne · 1 year

Text

Who: Julian and Beyza

Where: Julian's Yacht

When: Julian's Birthday Party

Summary: Beyza turns up to the birthday party late and Julian shares that he is trying things again with her sister, Melisa. Beyza did not take to the news very well.

Tagged: @beyzaxsenkan

Note: This was written on Discord

Julian made his way through the crowd again, running a hand through messy hair, acting as normal as he could after his private interaction with Melisa. He found himself keeping an eye on the Senkan, stealing glances and knowing smiles of what had transpired between them. It certainly was a happy birthday. Even more so when he spotted Beyza in the crowd, whom he hadn’t seen as of yet. “Hey you! I began to think you wouldn’t come anymore.” He smirked at her, pushing his way in between two people holding a conversation so he could reach her, steering towards a more quiet spot. “Did you try the bar yet? This bartender is insane.”

Beyza had gotten to the party a little later than she had planned. Dev was refusing to go to sleep for her dad and wanted to go with her, but she kept telling him it was a grown up party. Finally, her son was too exhausted to stay up and she was able to make it to the party. She spent a little looking for Julian, but ended up getting a drink and talking to a few people before she heard Julian's voice. She smiled as he approached and then stated to lead them to a quieter spot. "Yeah, I have a drink. I just got here, though. Dev wouldn't sleep." She explained. "Happy Birthday, by the way." She smirked at him. "Seems you pulled in everyone, huh?"

“Aw no, little bud. I would have cleared the dance floor for him.” He wasn’t serious of course, he knew that a yacht filled with drinking and swoozing people weren’t the place to be for a kid. He would make it up to him, he had promised him a day outing a while back, which he still had to do. “People love me, Bey. I keep telling you, yet you’re always surprised.” He grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulders so they were both facing the crowd. Though people were more interested in free drinks and food, of which there was plenty. “It’s a great party. I feel like im twenty again.”

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you would've. Don't tell him that or he'll be more upset he couldn't come." She said and sipped her drink. She looked out amongst the crowd and nodded. "Mmmhmm. Not sure if it's you or if people wanna think they're young again." She said with a shrug. "Right instead of, what? Forty now?" She teased him and reached up to touch some of his hair. "Is that a gray?"

“Oh no I’ll tell him it was horrible. The people sucked, they didn’t have Coca Cola and the music was 80s style. Horrible. Just horrible.” He slurred, squeezing her shoulder, catching a familiar figure in the crowd as she passed through the people. “Hm, what? Me? Beg pardon.” He scoffed, dodging her hand when she reached to touch his hair “it is not I don’t do aging. That’s a you thing.”

"Thank you." She smiled at the man before nodding and looking up at him, completely missing her sister in the crowd of people. "Yes, you." Beyza laughed. "I'm still young. You, however, are about to join us parents. Those grays will start coming and your back will start hurting." She smiled at him. "You'll be ditching this thing for a house and we'll be coming over for family barbecues."

“Never, I will die young when I’m seventy!” He called out, which earned him some cheers from those around them, even if they had no idea what he was rambling. Julian however chuckled, picking up a champagne flute that was passed around, taking a sip from it. “I do like barbecues. And I am building a house, so.” He spoke, his tone a little lower. “Mel is here. Gave a gift from baba.”

"I'll make sure to mock you for that when you're ninety in a nurshing home." She smirked and looked over at the crowd as they cheered back at him. "God, you're like a frat boy." She shook her head and looked back at him. "See. Already stepping into dad life." She took another drink before she almost spit it out and her face fell. "What? Why is Melisa here?" She asked and looked amongst the crowd. "I was just there. He could've given it to me to give to you. I'll tell her to go. She shouldn't be here."

“If I make it to ninety just kill me.” He snickered, feeling the buzz when the crowd cheered. It was as she said, like back in his college days. People liked him by then too and he was quite easily one of the popular students around. His only regret now was that he didn’t use it more responsibly. At least he got his business degree. “According to ma, I need to start really soon on that.” He huffed, but looked at Beyza when she overreacted about Melissa, for which he simply hushed her. “It’s fine, I invited her.” He slurred his words, lifting the flute to take a sip but found he’d already emptied it. “We’ve been talking.” And then some. “She’s trying, Bey.”

"No. I want to fully document you as an old man." She grinned at him before nodding. "I dislike that woman, but she has a small point. Don't tell her I said that though." Beyza smirked at him for a moment and her eyes furrowed while Julian hushed her. "What? Why would you do that?" She asked, but she knew why. He was falling for the poor-me act Melisa was doing. "You shouldn't be talking to her. You need to distance yourself from her. She's going to break your heart again and you're just falling for it." She said and rolled her eyes. "She is not trying. She's feeling guilty and once she feels she's made her pathetic amends, she'll bail again. Or the second things get too hard. Whichever comes first."

“You’re cruel. Why do I keep you?” His mother had that effect on people. Sometimes he questioned if even he liked her or not. But despite her meddling and controlling his life, she was his mother and he loved her. Even if she did tire him out. It was probably a good thing he had been drinking to the max. One glass less and he would’ve rolled his eyes at her objections. Now he just looked at her, knowing that she meant well and wanted to protect him, even if it was frustrating. “Then it’ll be on me, if that happens. You can tell me that you told me so.” He shrugged, looking down at his feet. He cared about what Beyza thought, and the last thing he wanted was to lose her. But was it so bad he wanted what was best for him? “I need to know, Bey. I need to know if what she says is truth right now.” He looked up at her once more. “You know I never loved anyone like I did her, I have to try again. And if it doesn’t work out I’ll concede to you and ma and marry whatever girl she picked out for me.” He let out a sigh, nudging her with his arm. “Do I have you in my corner?”

"Because if you didn't, I'd spill all your secrets." She smirked at him. She downed the rest of her drink andsighed. If they were going to be talking about her sister, she was going to need a lot more drinks than just this one, but she didn't feel like making her way to the bar and possibly seeing the woman. "You know I will to." She crossed her arms and stared at Julian. She hated seeing him like this and was so scared he was going to get hurt again. She let out a sigh and stomped her foot before pursing her lips for a moment. "Don't concede to your mom. You should marry for love, but… why her? I was here when she left. We were both a mess and trying to repair our hearts." She had broken things off with Henry then too. He got a new job and wanted her to go with him, but she couldn't. Not with her family like it was. She had to step up and being the oldest with Melisa gone. She had to stay and put the pieces of everyone's lives back together. "What if Henry was back? Would you support me being trying again with him? After you saw how hard it was?" She touched his arm. "I'm finally wanting to open my heart again and you… you're about to be a dad. You can't be like you were when she left again. Not with a baby. I just don't see why you don't try with Verity or anyone else. But not her."

“Why anyone else if I can have her?” He knew it made no sense. Not after the heartbreak and the promises they made to each other that they would never go back, but no one challenged him like Melisa did, no one held his attention like she did, and no one else made his heart skip a beat whenever they touched him. Basically, no one else could handle him, understand him, like Melisa did. And he had to believe she was genuine about wanting to try again. “If you loved him, I would. And I would also be there to pick up the pieces if it didn’t work out.” He agreed the timing wasn’t right, not with the baby. But if he could see past her leaving for six years, she would have to see past this. “Because Verity and I don’t love each other. Not like that anyway. And I made a promise to my parents, she’s already got candidates lined up.” He stopped a waitress as she passed by, placing his glass on the tray and grabbing two champagne flutes, one which he handed to Beyza, finishing his in one single swig. How medieval it felt, arranged marriages. “I’m not telling them about the baby, either. Time is ticking for me already and this will only set ma off.”

"You just haven't met that person yet." She said and looked out into the water. The urge to jump in and swim away was a powerful one. Beyza looked back at him as he continued and huffed. "You know how I feel about Henry." It was different, though. They had a mutual break up while Melisa just left Julian. There was nothing mutual about it. Her going back to Henry wouldn't be like Julian going to Melisa and she figured maybe, just maybe that would mean he wouldn't. And yet, here they were anyways. "You don't know each other like that, though. There hasn't been time and now Melisa is here ruining everything." She sighed and took the drink, downing it as well before looking at him. "What are you going to do when the baby is here, Julian? Have you even told Melisa?"

“Bey..” he sighed, a thought repeating like a mantra that she meant well, she meant well, she meant well. He nodded at her words, knowing all too well what had transpired, and though Julian had six years to get over Melisa, be angry and move on, his heart had different plans. “We’re friends, and we both have a high drive and we figured, why not? We have no interest getting to know each other like that.” He forced a smile when someone waved at him, gesturing back at them before he turned his head to Beyza with a frown. “What do you mean what am I going to do? It’s not a one or the other type of situation, Beyza.” God he needed a strong drink. “I’ve only told you and Sydney and I’d like to keep it that way until we had the appointment.”

"Then there's someone else. There's millions of people on this earth. So many that wouldn't hurt you like that." She got quiet when he saw someone grab his attention and she looked back out at the water; tensing her jaw for a moment. "I mean, what are you going to do when it is here with your parents. You can't hide a baby." She looked back at him. "Not to your parents and not to Melisa." She rolled her eyes. "Then what? What's the plan after that?"

“People are boring.” He sighed, turning his back to the crowd and instead leaning against the railing of the ship. She was like that Angel on his shoulder, and he was leaning towards the devil more, which only made it hard on him. “I’m not going to hide a baby, just until it’s all out of the woods and Verity is okay with people knowing. You know how my parents are, they’d smother the girl.. after they’re done judging her.” He shrugged, not knowing why this was an issue. “The plan is that I’m going to be a dad. My parents will be grandparents, and Mel can either stay or run away. Whether I have a newborn or a three year old, would it have made any difference? She either accepts it or she doesn’t and I’ll have my answer. I just… we’re taking it slow, and that doesn’t involve me dumping everything on her there is to know.”

She looked behind her at the crowd. "Really? All these people and the mutliple women you've been win in your life are boring?" She said to him and shook her head. She understood where they were coming from not telling people yet. It was so fickle the first few weeks. She was scared out of her mind to tell people with Dev. The thought of how much she wanted Melisa then crossed her mind and she pushed it away. She wasn't about to open all the emotions she had towards her sister right now. "Not like they have room to judge after the whole Stevie situation." She mumbled and looked back at the water. "And if she leaves again? You can't just go into that place you were back then when you have a baby. Taking it slow or not, you should wait to even give her a chance. See if she leaves." She took a deep breath. "You're not going to listen, are you?"

“People don’t challenge me. They comply and they please. The team challenges me to be better than I am right now, you challenge me, so did Mel. Everyone else just…“ he let out a deep breath, looking down at the ripples in the water. A somewhat sinister laugh escaped him when she mentioned Stevie, giving her a look. “They’ll make room. Anything to turn attention away from their own mistake and stupidity. If that meant exploding the news of a Heywood baby, they would. Shamelessly. Appearance was everything, and they’d take every sliver of good news to cover bad press. And he didn’t want to subject Verity to the madness until she was ready. If people saw her with a bump, no one would direct it at him, especially his mother. That was the thing about friend with benefits. Anonymity. “I won’t. It’ll suck but I won’t. I’m cautiously feeling the water.” It wouldn’t be the same. As opposed to a long relationship suddenly ending without fair warning, compared to them trying again and it falling through. At least he would have his answer. “Do I ever?” He hummed, looking at her and daring a smile. “I love her, Bey. And if it works.. If I can finally be happy… is that a bad thing?”

"Not everything has to challenge you." But she knew the feeling of it all and there was a thrill to being challenged. And she knew more than well that Julian liked that. "Figures. Use a grandchild to boost the image for them. I can see your mom framing pictures now." She rolled her eyes. "You are not. You're diving in. I'm staying as far as possible because she is Jaws and I don't like sequels." She looked at him. "How can you forgive her?" She looked away again. "She abandoned us and left us to pick up everything. You, Stevie, Baba… it's like you don't care and…" She felt the tears threatening her eyes and she stopped herself. "Never mind. You don't care."

“I’m sure she has a whole box of frames she selected for specific photos. I don’t know how else she’s getting them so fast.” He loved his mom, but her need to put duty and appearances first was infuriating. “But I’m not. I — I’m being careful. I have a career now to focus on, a child on the way. I can’t afford diving in head first.” He told her, watching her as she avoided his gaze. “I haven’t forgiven her completely, Beyza.” Julian quietly spoke, as much as he could with the music in the background. “I’m giving her leeway because she did lose her twin, and she almost lost her life herself. I don’t know what that does to someone mentally, do you?” He reached out, nudging her hand with his little finger. “I do care. But I have to see this through. Give it an ending if that is what it takes.”

"I have a few thoughts." She said before shaking her head. "Then you should be as back as I am. Testing anything is too much." She clenched her jaw while she continued to not look at him The tears were coming faster and faster and since her sister was back, it was harder for her to keep it all in. Melisa opened wounds Beyza thought she was healed from, but apparently that was wrong. She moved her hand quickly as he nudged it and she stepped back. "She's not the only one who lost people that day. Why does she get a pass and I'm just being unreasonable?" She snapped at him and stared at him for a moment before looking away and wiping her cheeks. "Fuck this. I'm going home. You can enjoy your birthday and your water testing." She turned to him. "She is not allowed to be around my son. Do you understand? If you have Devrim, she is not there or you won't be seeing him either."

Julian tried to hide the disappointment when she moved away from him, hating that this was growing into a situation where he had to choose between the two. He hoped she wouldn’t put him in that position, but he’d understand if she would. “You’re not being unreasonable, stop twisting my words, Bey.” He stood up straight, hating that he brought it up in the first place. But it never felt right keeping something from her, and he wouldn’t start now. “Don’t go, please. I’m sorry, okay?” Julian tried, a disappointed look spreading across his face at her words. “You know I won’t do that, come on, Beyza. Why even bring that up.” He loved that kid, and whenever he had him over it was just the two of them going out to do something fun. He wouldn’t involve people without asking, never did before. “Stay.”

"But you're not listening. No one is. You all are happy to see her and you don't care what she did." Dhe gripped the railing and shook her head. "It's what you think. That I should give her a chance and because I'm not, I'm unreasonable, right?" She stopped as he apologized and looked at him. "No. I can't be here. Not if she's here and not with you supporting it." She said and looked at him. She knew he wouldn't let Melisa be near Dev, but she needed to say it. She was just so angry. "Because it needed to be said." She took a deep breath. "Is she staying? Would you kick her out?"

“I care. Have you considered that maybe I’m just tired?” He sighed, lowering his head, which he shook at her next words. “I’m not telling you what to do, nor do I think it. I’m just being transparent with you because I value you more than anything, Bey. If anyone is accusing someone of being unreasonable it’s you, not me.” Julian remained silent, feeling the bass from the DJ blasting party music pulsing through his legs. His good mood had definitely left by now, which wasn’t her fault, it was his. He should’ve thought this through. “I don’t—“a breath. “ I don’t even know if she’s still here.”

"You're not the only one." She was tired of holding everything together. She was tried of feeling like she failed as what was once the oldest position and tired of also being it. She was tired of trying to help everyone and the two people who she needed support from the most were letting her down. His words hit her hard and she felt the wall that was building quickly around her and she felt cold. Alone. She just wanted this to stop. "I'm only trying to protect you." She said lowly, not sure if he could even hear her over the music and the crowd. She stared at the water more and wanted nothing more than to feel the safety that came with being in it. "I just want you to understand. I'm sorry." She could feel the wall finish building around her and she felt more alone on the boat than anyone could ever know. "Go find her. I think I'm gonna go for a swim."

“I know you are. And I love you for it. I wish things could be simpler.” He knew what a fractured family was like. Even if he had his siblings and his parents and he was on speaking terms with them all, it wasn’t what he rather had. He would’ve loved to receive an attaboy from his father. A smothering hug from his mother, for Sydney to be able to properly mourn the loss of her husband. It was hard for him to let people in, but the Senkan family had replaced what he was lacking, which was why this hurt all the more. “I do. I do I just.. I don’t know why I..” he stopped, running his hand over his neck instead. He didn’t really feel like partying anymore. “The water is colder than it looks, don’t.” He warned her, stepping away from the railing. “I’ll be below if you .. you know.” Wanted to talk.

She just listened to him and kept looking out on the water. She didn't want to keep arguing. She just wanted to not feel like this anymore. By his change of time and demeanor beside her, she knew she ruined his party for him. She never meant for that. the weight of everything was on her and she hated the feeling of it. "You forget I'm used to cold water." From her job, she could withstand the temperature of the water. Her body was used to it all by now on some level, but she knew the lake would be cold regardless. She let him walk away for a moment before sighing and slipping write behind him as he went below deck. "I didn't mean to ruin your night. I'm sorry. I should've stayed with Dev and let you have your fun."

Julian thought it was lots different from the water at the aquarium. But fair, it had slipped his mind. He hoped Dana had kept in mind to hire lifeguards as well in case drunk people decided to take a dip in the backyard pool. The evening had certainly turned sour, but she was the last person he blamed for that. He could always blame it on the amount he had had to drink that finally settled. He turned to look over his shoulder when she spoke, shaking his head in disagreement. "You didn't, okay? I should learn to keep my mouth shut every once in a while.. Which you know is difficult." He shrugged, taking one more step down. "If you're not staying, at least give Devrim a hug from me, okay? Tell him the party sucked without him."

She sighed and moved passed him down below so they could talk. She couldn't leave things like this with him. She could never. Julian meant too much to her and the never ended in this. Honestly, they never got like this about anything and to her, it was more proof Melisa was ruining things by being back. "Come on." She said and looked at him from down there and waited for him to join her. "We would've done this no matter what, you know? We have different sides to this and and we just want the other to understand." She sat down. "I do get your side. If Henry showed up even tomorrow, I don't know what I'd do. But I also think I'm finally moving on. I think I'm falling in love again." She looked down at her hands. "I just feel alone in my stance. I know Hazal feels the same, but it's different with you and Baba. And I feel like it's up to me to either welcome her back or not and either way I'm letting people down and I can't shove my feelings aside. I don't want her here, Julian. I wish she stayed gone."

Julian sighed, walking down the final steps. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to her anymore, it was that he didn't want to talk at all. Growing up in a system where swallowing down your emotions was expected, he wasn't particularly good at it hashing out your feelings. He hated the divide, that no matter what he did, he would end up hurting someone, which only made this harder. At least the below decks were off limit to anyone, except him of course. At least Dana hired security to make sure no one would come stumbling down. "That's good though, you deserve that." But he hadn't found anyone he could fall in love with. He'd been with plenty of women in the last six to seven years that he could safely say no one was able to tug on his heart strings, and it wasn't for the lack of trying. "No one is saying you have to do anything, Beyza." He replied, nodding when she mentioned she had wished she'd stayed gone. He felt his body sway, and not due to the yacht staying afloat atop the water. Silently, he moved over, sitting down next to her on the small sofa, running his hand over her upper back before resting it on his lap, staring down at how he began to dig his nails under the ones of the opposite hand, as if he was interested by some dirt underneath it. "It would have made things easier." he agreed, jaw twitching. "You know that I wouldn't do this if I had to, right?" He carefully asked, words slightly slurring. "If I needed to? Just to know for sure."

"You deserve it too." She told him. They both had gone just as long without finding someone and she wished he had more time. The thought of her sister hurting him again made her want to make sure he didn't see her at all and protect him. She just wished he'd help a little there. "But it feels like it." She looked up at him. "No one is forcing me but what happens in a year when she's still here and you're closer and Baba wants her around more and I can't do it? I lose you both? Or I try and Hazal can't and I lose her? Or Dana?" She looked down and felt him sit by her. She was slightly comforted when he rubbed her back but he stopped and they both were sitting there not wanting to go into the details of how they felt. Beyza preferred to keep it inside. There was so much she felt that she never told Julian. So much she never told anyone. She wouldn't tell anyone. She had to be the strong one, after all. The one that patched everyone up, but was staring to feel unappreciated for it all. That it was for nothing. "I can't support it, Julian. I just see her getting off too easy and it's not fair. If Baba hadn't forgiven her, if you weren't doing this… maybe she'd leave and we could continue our lives like they were."

Julian remained silent while Beyza spoke, ashamed because he knew that what she said was the truth. He knew that right now he had no filter and that he probably wasn't making the best choices in his current merry state, but if it felt good, wasn't it the right choice? And yet, he understood all too well what Beyza was talking about. It was the position he was in right now too, either he'd lose Melisa, or he'd lose Beyza. "You know that mom and Simon never approved of her? he eventually spoke, picking on the skin at the corner of his thumb. "They were very transparent about it, yet I never had to choose. I'm saying that you won't have to either. There's no Jules without Beys, you know?" He looked up at her again, clenching his jaw and furrowing his brows as he felt the odd feeling of heaviness and swelling behind his eyes, one he was trying to prevent from escalating. "And what if I promise it will be the last chance? One chance to prove she has to put the work in." He breathed in, releasing it as quiet as he could. "I don't need you to support it, I only need you and me to stay as we are. You know you're important to me, right?"

She looked over at him and then down at his hands. She put her own over his and gripped them. "I remember, but it's different." She said and rubbed his hands. "You say that now, but in ten years when I can't be near her and you guys have a family, what then?" She bit her lip so it wouldn't quiver with the building emotion. "I still don't like it. She should've listened to me when I told her to leave you alone." She looked away from him. "You're important to me too. I've lost so much, but I gained you and I do love you." She said and hung her head.

"Do you really believe that you'll want nothing to do with her in ten years?" he asked quietly, flexing his fingers so that he could capture hers between his. Her confessing she told Melisa to leave him alone left him silent. Did it mean Melisa was actually serious about mending things if she ignored her sister's warning? "Oh." Was all he could bring out, refraining himself from focusing on the fact she tried to influence his life, like his parents would do, bringing up the mantra once more that she only meant well for him, unlike his parents who would do it for the family. "I'm not going anywhere Beyza." He eventually spoke, letting go of her hands and instead wrapping an arm around her to pull her against his side, resting his cheek atop her head. "Even if you piss me off, I'll show up for whatever, you know that."

She shrugged. "I don't know. What if I do?" She knew it was all up in the air and they didn't know what was going to happen, but she couldn't say for sure. She just wanted some security that her and Julian would always be there. She squeezed his hands and sighed. She leaned against him as he pulled her to his side and wrapped an arm around him as well. "I'd do the same for you too. You know that." She and and closed her eyes. "I love you, Jules."

"Then we'll make it work. It takes the world to end to get me to stop seeing you. You know that." And it would be terrible, surely, having to spend time with her behind Melisa's back, but he wasn't going to drop Beyza for Melisa. But he also wouldn't drop Melisa for Beyza, not unless Melisa gave him no choice. He had been very clear about that. "I know, if anyone I can count on you." which wasn't in question. "I love you too." He sighed, slightly swaying. "But don't let ma hear that, or we'll be the ones getting married here."

"I hope that's true." She said and sighed as she leaned into him. She would never ask him to chose between her and her sister. All she could do was wish that Julian saw what she did and didn't get hurt in the process. "I know I can count on you too." She said and laughed a little. "Please. As much as I like being around you, I don't think I could be married to you." She sat up a little and looked at him. "I'm sorry I brought your mood down. You should be having fun up there."

"It's a promise." And he meant it. It just didn't take away from the fact that he had to try, see if it would work out, grant himself happiness. He hoped one day Beyza would see it like that too. "Yeah, you're too high maintenance. It would never work out." He joked, turning his head to face her. "Nah, I like talking to you more. But I am for getting a drink, though."

She really wanted to believe his promise, but she was so scared that things would end up ruined anyways. She hoped they wouldn't be, but she was scared of how things would be if she could never forgive her sister. She scrunched her face up and nudged him. "Me? You're the one panicking over grays here." She teased back. "That was talking, huh?" She smiled and nodded. "I'll let you get back to it all. I may stick around for a bit, but I should go."

"I never panic. I'm as cool as a cucumber." Julian joked, yet instinctively ran his hand through his hair nevertheless. He wasn't actually showing grey hair, was he? "One drink?" He asked, taking her by the hand and getting up on his feet. "I expect one birthday shot with you, or you're not allowed to go. "Maybe he would party some more afterwards, still plenty of people to see. But he wanted to have a good ending with her too. "Cmon, let's go upstairs."

"Sure you are." Beyza rolled her eyes, happy to be back to this joking friendship her and Julian usually had. "Fine. I'll do a shot." She smiled and stood up as she took her hand. "How can I leave your party without doing one?"

#( convo. )#( convo. beyza alpman )

3 notes · View notes