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#I don't really know if this will make things better or worse but it will at least make things different
drdemonprince · 1 day
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any advice for coping with being on the receiving end of a public callout ?
Oh yes:
Do not acknowledge the callout publicly. It will only further its spread, lend it legitimacy, cause you to be interpreted as guilty, and convey to anyone who bears you ill will that you are rattled and feeling socially threatened.
Do not act out of urgency. One of the ways that cancelled people get themselves in far worse trouble is by spiraling due to anxiety and rushing to issue a statement about what has happened, or to attempt to socially manage public impressions about what has happened. Do not do this. Anything that you say will be picked apart and used against you. The situation is truly not as urgent as it might feel. A lot of times, doing nothing and being quiet is the best way to proceed, and the dust will settle better if you do.
Do not issue a public apology. If you truly feel that you have wronged someone, that conflict should be worked out in private with the people you have directly affected. You do not owe the anonymous public audience a damn thing. Do not apologize for something you don't honestly believe that you have done wrong. Take time and really think about what happened, and seek the counsel of people whom you trust in PRIVATE.
Do not attempt to disprove the callout unless you have crystal clear, smoking gun evidence that the person who accused you is actually victimizing you. And even then, probably don't do it. I have only seen a disproof of a callout work ONCE, and that was when Juniper Abernathy revealed the person cancelling her had been abusing her. Even if the facts are on your side, acknowledging the accusations will only make more people aware of them, give your detractors ground to criticize your every word, and will muddy the waters and make people find the situation confusing and troubling rather than clear.
GET THE FUCK OFFLINE. Delete your social media apps for the time being. Turn off notifications. Turn off DMs requests. Change your settings so that you only ever hear from people you already follow (I do this, on the advice of Philosophy Tube). Get away from the computer.
Connect with IRL friends. When you're wrapped up in a cancellation, the negative opinions of a handful of foaming at the mouth freaks loom way larger than they actually are. And social media dramatically skews our sense of social priorities such that the approval rating of complete strangers starts to seem more important than people we actually know, and trust, and who actually know us. Go get a meal with a buddy. Watch a dumb movie. Talk to your grandma about her plans for her garden. Surround yourself with real people you care about and focus on their life and problems, to help put things in perspective.
Find distracting, active, rewarding activities that bring you out of the digital space and into physical reality. Not everyone is talking about you, not everybody hates you, most people have no fucking clue what has been said about you, and most people do not give a fuck about you (that's good). There are so many areas of life that are completely fucking untouched by what a bunch of social media power users have to say online. Go volunteer to clean up a park, run some errands, take an exercise class, foster a dog, regrout your bathroom, knit a hat. Even if the worst case scenario happens and a cancellation sticks, it's really only among a certain very vocal group of miserable fucking people. There is a whole world around you that will not ever care, and you will have a life outside of this.
Good luck!!
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Drabble List #11
75 prompts to write drabbles or longer stories.
"Oh no, that's heartbreaking."
"Finders keepers, losers weepers."
"I can't believe you've done this."
"You're a little to late for that."
"That's simply rock 'n' roll, baby."
"Give me ice cream. Now!"
"And this is how you do it."
"Such a sad thing to say."
"To be honest, I really don't care."
"It wasn't supposed to end like this."
"I went willingly."
"Why don't I believe you?"
"I want us to have a good relationship."
"I fear absolutely nothing."
"Want a massage?"
"It's a new law, look it up."
"Can you walk a bit faster maybe?"
"I don't know why yet."
"Don't say another word."
"That's something to celebrate!"
"Apologize and we're even."
"I hate that sound."
"This is too small."
"Get used to it."
"Oh, definitely not!"
"I am very disappointed right now."
"This is not practical at all."
"I will not take the blame for this."
"Well, tough luck, my friend."
"That's so tragic."
"No, don't say it, I want to guess!"
"I'm working on myself now."
"Can you please stop thinking so loud?"
"This is stressing me out so much."
"You can't let them get away with that."
"Are you finished, so you'll listen to me?"
"Wow, that's expensive!"
"No, not on my watch."
"That's a new low for you."
"I think, I have always been in love with you."
"You are actually scary."
"That cat hates me!"
"Please, stop looking like you want to kill me."
"Not surprised, but still disappointed."
"You're in for a big surprise."
"And I'm here to save you."
"What a failure."
"Explosive news."
"I need some assistance here."
"Aren't you happy to see me?"
"This is so embarrassing!"
"Does it start with the letter A?"
"Not the right place, not the right time."
"I'm a wonderful human being."
"That's not very nice."
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I don't even wanna know what you're thinking."
"It's too quiet here..."
"Totally on-brand for me."
"I fail to see how that is my problem."
"Well, I will make it your problem."
"Did you hear a word I said?"
"It's very fashionable."
"What doesn't kill me still hurts."
"Fucked around, found out."
"That's illegal."
"I hope you have insurance."
"Seems like you have to sleep here tonight."
"Could be better, but could also be worse."
"Tell me one thing that's true."
"I'm sick of all the lies."
"No response, as always."
"Do you think that's funny?"
"The train already left."
"Sign your name here. Now."
Drabble Masterlist
Have fun creating and writing!
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covidsafecosplay · 1 day
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Do you have any general advice about being Covid safe at conventions? I've been under the impression that visiting any con, big or small, masked or not, immunocompromised or not, is a big no-no, since it's a place where several people gather indoors.
I, personally, will not go to cons right now, and it's a big part of why this blog exists in the first place.
I live in a household of disabled people, one of whom has a respiratory disease, and it's just not worth the risk to any of us. We are 100% avoiding anything with crowds. We don't even go to the grocery store if we can avoid it, and thank our lucky stars we live somewhere that we can access reasonably-priced grocery delivery. People call us paranoid, but none of us have gotten covid once, so I have no real desire to change what we're doing.
Every time I think, "hm, local covid numbers are dropping, maybe I can go to something" there's another spike in infections, so I've just kind of...given up. I used to perform at the local medieval faire, my husband used to do burlesque, and my entire household was generally really big into the local performing arts scene. We gave up trying to participate in anything when it became clear nobody was interested in hosting or attending virtual events anymore.
That said, I know "everybody please just stop going to cons" isn't exactly an effective covid safety policy. The "get back to normal" urge is strong, and as much as it pisses me off, people are going to do what they're going to do. I also know multiple people who pretty much have to go to cons because their income depends on artist alley profits, or they're employed in the industry and have to make con appearances as part of their job. Cons are back in full-swing, for better or worse.
For those who have to go to cons, or just really, really want to and can't be swayed, I recommend reading through the People's CDC's Safer In-Person Gatherings Guide. It was originally published in 2022, but the information is good. It covers things that event organizers can do to make events accessible, as well as personal safety precautions attendees should take.
If someone is going to attend a con, they need to:
Check if the venue has upgraded ventilation and covid policies in place (if possible). If the venue has poor ventilation and nobody else is going to give a shit whether you catch covid, maybe reconsider attending that particular event.
Mask up using a properly-fitted, NIOSH-certified N95 or better for the entirety of the event. Wear it properly over the mouth and nose.
Avoid crowded indoor areas as much as possible, sticking to smaller groups in outdoor areas where available.
Stick to small, consistent groups you can contact after the event in case of exposure, instead of mingling in large crowds of strangers.
Get vaccinated and boosted in advance of the event.
Avoid high-risk activities for at least five days prior to the event.
Complete a daily symptom checklist leading up to the event.
Take a covid test the day of the event to ensure covid-free status.
Complete a daily symptom checklist for five days after the event. Test immediately if any symptoms present.
Take a covid test five days after the event, even if no symptoms present. Asymptomatic transmission is still possible.
If testing positive for covid, alert other attendees so they can get tested.
All this info is taken from the People's CDC link, which has become my go-to covid information resource. I and this blog are totally unaffiliated with them, but following their guidelines has helped keep my family 100% covid-free for the entire duration of the pandemic.
If anyone needs inspiration for covid-safe cosplay activities outside the convention scene, or ideas for making your covid mask match your cosplay, I have a post about that here. I also have a post with links to free mask patterns and tutorials here.
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Nexus to Moon: dramatic, mysterious, evil.
He is the monster. He forced me kneel, he hurts me, he makes me relived of all my mistakes. I couldn't fight him and the worst of it..... I. Scared. Of. Him.
Nexus to Sun: Bitch wants me to work for him and gets mad when I say no. Also... Cringe.
I am sorry but, has anyone felt a really drastically shift tones between Moon and Sun when they interact with Nexus?
Like Nexus really wants to hurt Moon, badly. He does not hesitate to cram his hands inside Moon's head, and mocks Moon for everything he did. It was intense, and we can feel it is Nexus the one who is in the control. And that Moon will not do or can try anything.
Also Moon gets kneel down and tortured pretty quick after that. Also he seems very scared of Nexus after each time he interacted with Nexus.
But Sun... I don't know man... I think I had made Nexus cooler in my head.
He is just so cringe. (THE GOD thingy makes me die a little bit whenever I hear him screaming that name)
I couldn't see the monster who hurt Moon with the way he was chasing Sun around and Sun just kept running like it is no ends tomorrow.
(Lmao dude just straight up pulling Naruto run on Nexus, really reminds me back then, of the times when Sun doing something stupid and Nexus just angrily yelling ran after him.)
And even when he had Sun at the corner, he couldn't say anything 'emotional damage' to Sun.
"What ... Are you insane?!"
"Yeah. I thought it was pretty obvious."
And baby girl is so obsessed with the fact he is no longer Moon, he thinks it is him who is still the one Sun calls for help. Which is sad and funny both at the same time.
Like we can feel a tiny small hesitant in Nexus's voice when Sun keeps saying 'Moon', like he thought Sun wants him to stop.
And how the issue gets dragged on the surface. Sun always feels like he couldn't help Nexus and Nexus also feels like he couldn't let Sun help him. (Because the same old story, Sun got hurt and kidnapped whenever he came with Nexus.)
"So now I have value for you?"
"Yeah, for once in your miserable life, you have value."
It is sad when they come back at each other like this. Especially when Nexus always says that he needs Sun back in the day.
"You had friends, you had a family. They love you."
Sun loves him. He still loves Nexus. He didn't want Nexus dead is one thing, but he seems so worried about Nexus (accidentally calling him Moon when seeing him got shot) and tries to make Monty stop shooting. Even after Nexus runway, Sun - the one who gets so infected by Negative Star power, still wants to know if Nexus is okay.
And when he was back at home, he wasn't even scared of Nexus, not like how he used to be terrified of Eclipse or Killcode or even when he interacts with Dark Sun. He seems just pissed and done at himself, and not even with Nexus.
"I didn't have friends. I was a replacement."
Nexus didn't consider Monty his friend. I mean it is totally understandable, especially when they hijacked his head before. But replacement... Really? Sure maybe at first with Sun, but what about Earth? She didn't know jack about you?
"Maybe at first, but I liked you."
Haha... Remember when Nexus said he was very appreciative of how Sun loved him more than Moon? Haha... Good times ...
"oh my..., cuz I was nicer to you."
"because you are nice."
"because I didn't beat you.... Guess what Sunny, you are nothing but a tool for me..."
He throws away any good things he did for Sun. He burned all their memories, and saw himself as a monster. He tried to make himself a monster towards Sun, and when seeing it didn't work, because Sun doesn't care about how horrible he is now, he straight down Sun with the 'I don't care about you' attitude.
"You know what... You are not worse than Moon. Hell you are not even better..."
'You are just exactly like Moon. ' I think it is what Sun wants to say. They are both so stuck in their own minds, never wanting to hear what other people say, what people are trying to prove they are so much better than this.
"I am me! NONE OF YOU COULD REALISE, I AM MY OWN PERSON!!!"
"I tried."
"No you didn't. You USED me. And now I am going to use you."
"I am sorry."
His voice seems so small. He sounds so heartbroken when he says sorry to Nexus, like we can feel the thought process behind Sun. He truly thinks everything happened was his fault, it is Sun's fault leading Nexus to become like this.
"Your apologies don't mean anything to me."
And Nexus sounds so wanting to move one, to get done with his job, to stop talking about the past. It doesn't matter if Sun says sorry or not, because he doesn't care. He doesn't want to care.
And the term he used... Dragging Sun into his lab and plug he into the machine, to let him never do any of his own will ever again....
What does Nexus think Sun will do with his own will? Like what exactly can Sun do? Yapping at his ears until it bleeds? Sun doesn't have any manipulated skills at all, he is so straightforward and honest to actually harm Nexus from behind, like, Nexus just needs to highjack Sun's head like Moon.
From my perspective, I think there are a lot of methods to let Sun do as Nexus plead, but Nexus only wants to stop thinking about Sun. Like if he fully controlled over Sun, he will not have to think about how Sun is disappointed in him anymore, He will not have to think of Sun as a human being, as his ex brother, as someone still cares about him.
And when Sun says he will not do as Nexus says? Nexus sounds didn't surprise at all. They understand each other too well to know even Sun sometimes a coward, he will not give up like that for Nexus.
Also... Why did he not just threaten Moon? Or Dazzle? Or Jack? Just like how he mocks Solar?
Did he not want his older brother to think of him lower?
"...I have you kneel at me, right ? So look at your superior being."
The way Nexus said that, it makes me feel sad. Like, Nexus so wants to cut off Sun, to make Sun think of him as a monster, to hurt Sun not even in the way it matters.
He still couldn't hit Sun at his lowest, I mean, back then, Old Moon even worse with Sun both emotionally and physically back in the days.
Even after so much nonsense craps, Sun still unharmed. He tortured Moon, he mocked Solar, but Sun.... There is no win in this fight.
Their fighting still looks so much more than their so used banter before... I wish Nexus and Sun will be still brothers ;.;
Sidenote: I love that Ruin tries to convince Nexus to think more with his head but just ends up giving up like : oh right, screw you then, asshole.
Very baby girl behaviour of him.
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elumish · 3 days
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I talk about what writers should do a lot, so now I'm going to take a break and talk about some reforms that I think agents should make.
A caveat: I am not an agent! Unlike when I talk about writing, I am just talking about this as an author who happens to be in the midst of querying. If I have an followers who are agents who think I'm getting something wrong, please let me know!
That said, here I go:
Trad publishing is, fundamentally, about getting past a whole bunch of layers of gatekeepers, and agents are the first gatekeepers. With some very limited exceptions, you can't be trad published without having an agent. From what I can tell, being an agent is a bit of a thankless job--it's based on commission, so an agent only gets money if they are selling their clients' books. (Remember: the money flows towards the writer. If someone claiming to be an agent is telling you that you need to pay them to represent you, run.)
Because of this structure, agents have a massive amount of power over unagented authors, particularly because unagented authors simply do not have another option if they want to trad publish. It is my opinion that that power dynamic is part of the reason why querying actually sucks so unbelievably much for authors.
Now, part of why querying sucks is that it's a numbers game, which means that most of us will lose. Every writer is competing against a gazillion other writers, some of whom are better or writing things that are seen as more sellable or happen to be eariler or whatever. You are going to get a bunch of rejections, and that's not the fault of agents.
But here's the other problem:
There are, from what I can tell, no true industry standards and somewhat limited professional expectations for agents when it comes to how to deal with querying. Again, this is what it looks like from the outside--agents, if I'm getting this wrong, please let me know.
For example, many agencies and many agents will have different rules about what you can submit to them and how, and in many cases those rules are in somewhat arbitrary places, which means that querying authors have to hunt for them, and it's easy to run afoul of them even when you're trying. It's common for some agencies to say that you can't query two agents from the same agency at the same time, but some say that you can't query two agents from them ever--a rejection from one is a rejection from all.
But most agents' Twitter bios/MSWL pages/personal pages/etc. don't say that--which means that authors need to hunt through every individual agency's webpage and then cross-reference against every agent that they have ever queried previously, which can be arduous when many people are querying dozens or hundreds of agents. It also means needing to keep track of things like when agents switch agencies.
There are also no standard expectations for agents to actually respond to queries in any sort of time span, or at all, which complicates the above issue even more. But it also is just (imho) kind of unprofessional to ghost people who are seeking a professional relationship with you, when you have explicitly asked them to reach out to you seeking that professional relationship.
And to make that worse, many agents don't say whether or not they respond to all queries, meaning that authors are often left wondering if a 6-month or longer wait is a "no" or an "I haven't gotten to this yet but will definitely respond to you."
There are more issues that I could cite, but my overall point in this is that authors have no recourse here. There's not authors' union, no way to go on strike until agents change what they're doing.
And some agents are really awesome about this! But enough are not, and authors don't really know what they're going to get when they query someone.
So all of this is to say that, if you are an agent, here are some fairly easy changes I would love for you to make to your own behavior to make querying a little bit less of a nightmarish hellscape for authors (and thank you so much if you already do some or all of these):
Respond to every query that you receive
Tell people your general response times and be communicative if that changes. It's okay if it regularly takes you six months! Just tell us it regularly takes you six months, so we're not left wondering if we've been ghosted at four months
Outline all submission guidelines on Query Manager or where you accept queries, including things like a) rules about whether a rejection from one is a rejection from all, b) length expectations for things like synopses (I've seen a range), and c) any other expectations you have (e.g., you require trigger warnings). Don't make people hunt through 2-4 websites to find what you want
Stop asking or at least strongly rethink how you ask about Own Voices or why an author feels like they are qualified to write about a marginalized identity--I understand the impulse, but nobody should be expected to disclose medical or other personal information like that in a professional setting
Also, just to say (other than please don't reject my query because of this post), agents: authors really do appreciate the work you all do. I want someone to work with to get published, because I am very well aware that I am not the expert in this situation.
And again, please tell me if I got anything wrong or misrepresented anything.
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foggieststars · 2 days
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ask game: Charles 🥺🥺🥺🥺
what can i literally even say that u haven't said already......
i genuinely think it's like. a little bit humiliating for me. how into a multimillionaire i am. sweetest kitten MOST FUN to torture.
i was saying this today but i think one of the things i love most about him is his like. psychosexual enjoyment of being a lowkey teammate destroyer. like. chased one of them straight out of f1. relegated the other two to backmarker teams. but at the same time he likes his teammates so much...
it's like he LOVES being buddy buddy with them and playing gay chicken and he also loves being better than them. it makes it sweeter for him to be able to look at them with his big green fuck me eyes and communicate telepathically that he can take the whole thing and then outscore them on sunday <3
i think you summarised in your answer how many things there are to love genuinely about charles so i'm going to be selfish in my answer. i literally had not written or really engaged with fic in like. 4 years before i got into f1. and this sounds SO goofy but charles really sparks something in me and i don't know why. like i need to create. i NEED to write about him getting fucked in many different ways. it's kind of cringe Eye Suppose but i really do think my life this past year would have been so much worse if i hadn't had fic writing to sort of escape to and use as a super fulfilling hobby (and make many fun and wonderful friends through!!!) and ultimately.... it all comes down to the fact that i watched his episode of drive to survive and imprinted on him like a baby duckling. like how fucking crazy is that
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cocktailjjrs · 2 days
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So......
Since I've been suffering with these angsty thoughts... i though i would invite you all suffer with me...
It's about Chuuya...
I was doing some research for my fic (mainly going through bsd novels, blogs, tags and all) and came across this one Insta post in passing (sorry, i don't remember the name).
It was about BSD's cycles.
First, cycle of abuse, going from Mori-Dazai-Aku-Kyouka
and Second of rescue, going from Natsume-Oda-Dazai-Atsushi-Kyouka.
And then they highlighted a third category, the one's who are not saved - including Chuuya, Aku and Q.
At that point i didn't think much about it, just another post while scrolling Insta.
But now it's keeps bothering me, a constant reminder, whenever i read something BSD.
And It's so heart wrenching.
It also hit me, Q and Aku can still be saved.
Q, while we don't exactly know where they are right now, there is a chance of them getting their own arc, backstory and then being saved.
Aku, while still in Mafia, his partnership with Atsushi is his saving grace already. He is making an effort to not kill, just for their deal/bet. By the end of it all, he will be in a better place than he is now.
But Chuuya. (Spoiler's for light novel's if you haven't read them)
I remember very clearly, when in Stormbringer (don't ask me why i remember this byheart), when Murase dies Chuuya says, "Hey Detective, Weren’t you gonna arrest me?! Weren’t you gonna bring me into the world of light"
Don't get me wrong, I still believe Chuuya belongs to Port Mafia, the darkness suits him better than light.
But that does not mean he never wanted to get out of that darkness. This one instance in SB was proof enough. Makes me wonder, if things had gone even slightly differently, would he be in a better place than he is now? Is there still a chance?
What's even more tragic is that after the whole SB thing, no one seemed stick around enough to help him fight his own demons.
And he definitely has MASSIVE DEMONS.
His whole life seems to be one catastrophe after another! Don't believe me?
His first group, whom he called friends, betrayed him. Classic stabbed by poisonous knife in the back.
Hardly a year later, his second friends group, Flags, was killed by an emotionally unstable man-child seeking validation, insisting on calling him brother.
He went through a horrid ordeal, having to learn he was a lab experiment, seeing your clone vaporise to nothing but bones in your own arms, having to fight those same bones. And as if this was not enough, then fighting the monstrosity of a singularity and in process loosing the only chance to determine your humanity. (Actually whole of SB is dreadful, i don't think it'll ever get worse than that - i really hope it doesn't)
Then, given by the timeline, another year later, his third group of friends was killed by Shibusawa.
And again a year later - his partner, who brought him in all this madness, just fucking leaves without a word. This is the least tragic thing that has happened to the boy, i swear.
And I'm sure it didn't end there.
There must have been so many things going on behind the scenes in those missing years, hell even after the series began, Chuuya has been out of scene because something or the other was going on.
Now you have Fyodor fucking shit up for no apparent reason. With this shitshow, many mafia men, some of whom Chuuya might have developed a relation, are definitely dead. Not to mention the mental gymnastics going to trying to at least be on the same fucking chapter as the two geniuses.
AND ALL OF THIS IS JUST IN THE CURRENT TIMELINE. Don't get me started on BEAST VERSE!!! (That's a can of worms I'm really not ready to open at this point)
The thing with Mentally strong individuals is, they have abnormally high emotional intelligence, they are unnaturally resilient, they can compartmentalize their grief, they empathise with great deal of people, think rationally at any given point and think of ways to make things better.
What many people fail to understand is that no one is born Mentally strong, it's the circumstances that make them as such.
It can happen even through small things.
No one being there for you to express your deepest fears. No one just listening to you, even if they have a solution to your problem. Or having seen other's nightmares come to reality and feeling your own are much smaller, or having made to fell that way.
It creates the mentality of never sharing your fears, your insecurities, your discomfort - because at the back of the mind you keep telling yourself - oh, this person has gone through so much more than i have, my fear is nothing compared to it. I can handle it on my own, they have their own problems to handle. Everyone is busy, i don't think they have time to listen to the same problem I've been facing for years now. I've manages so far, i think I can manager just fine.
You start to undervalue your own feelings and start to fell like you'll burden them. Start to feel like you NEED to handle it on your own.
Now, i don't want to go into a spiral of mental health, but when you look at Chuuya, you can't help but marvel at that kids Mental resolution.
His first action after being stabbed in back was to make a deal with a demon to make sure he doesn't harm them, because they are just kids.
His first reaction to being provoked into revenge was to say Fuck off to his manipulator, not falling for the temptation and doing what he felt right.
He even forgave the killer of his friends (And also the one who tried to kill him) for gods sake! Understanding what he was going through.
He even walked away after knowing his parents are alive (oh the irony) not wanting to put a target on them. (I'm actually on fence with this, the chances of it being a manipulation tactic from Mori is just as high as it being the truth)
He had tremendous mental fortitude.
But you still see the cracks in his emotional state,
He was desperate to know if he was human or not, inclining towards the later.
He didn't know, that your friends can do some nice things without expecting anything in return. They can go above and beyond your regular stuff just because they are your friends, there doesn't need to be of anything at stake in friendship.
Hell, there was a point he believed having a Heart was too sophisticated for him, that he can't be that human!
I can go hours and hours about this.
What i can say for sure is, he has demons in all sizes, shapes and forms, something that he has stuffed in his closet only to deal with them himself, not letting them see the light of the day.
i just don't see anyone actually being there for him long enough for him to trust them fully with his demons.
No, not even Dazai. Dazai himself was a walking cry for help, like hell Chuuya is adding to that pile. He may have found a constant in Dazai in three years, seeing as all other's met their end in one. I believe in those three years, somewhere Soukoku began to feel like his safe place, somewhere he didn't had to think about his demons only by the virtue of dealing with one made of flesh and bones. But then even Dazai left.
I don't think even Kouyou was there for most part. And considering her obsession with a flowers of dark with Kyouka, i think it pulled Chuuya more in her own tragedy. Afterall, she also was never saved.
Mori is there, but Mori is a Demon in his own rights. What we've seen is their interactions have been those of a boss and his close confidents, nothing personal or emotional. Which also makes sense when you think of Mori's theory of running an organization. Chuuya, all things considered, the most powerful member of PM and he is treated as such.
The other significant members of PM, the guerrilla squad, black lizards or Kajji - all of them may know him better than most, but he is still their executive. If a 15 and younger kid took the title of being a protector of his rag-tag group seriously, being a responsible and dependable executive comes with higher stakes. He will carry out his role as one, even if it's the last thing he does.
.
.
.
That was me rambling.
My point is, i wanna give Chuuya a big hug, tell him it's okay to fell tried sometimes. To let himself be vulnerable. That his fears are not invalid. That he is not invalid. That he isn't the problem, never was.
That he will still be valued and wanted, even if he one day looses his ability or he is no longer the strongest.
Can someone please save his boy?
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crownmemes · 7 hours
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General Sentences, Vol. 20
(Assorted original sentences. Adjust phrasing where needed)
"Take me to your leader."
"Am I under arrest?"
"If you think about it, this is quite the honour!"
"Since when did you develop emotional intelligence?"
"I've dreamt about this moment for so many years..."
"Do me one last favour, for old time's sake?"
"Nobody is untouchable."
"You can't protect me from everything."
"This reminds me of a horror movie I saw..."
"Are you in love with him?"
"Do you want a tattoo?"
"Is that a grey hair?"
"I suppose this could have gone a lot worse."
"It's probably better if you don't ask what I'm doing."
"Shouldn't you be resting?"
"Does anybody care what I think?"
"There really aren't any normal days in this job, are there?"
"Do you really think you can win?"
"Are you sure you don't want to see a doctor?"
"I heard you were looking for me?"
"There are some things that man should not know."
"What am I supposed to call you?"
"Why don't I tell you a story?"
"You know me; I'm always careful!"
"This was the best day of my life!"
"Do me one last favour, for old time's sake?"
"Nothing ever changes with you, does it?"
"Apology not accepted."
"For a moment there, I thought you were an angel."
"Not everything is as it seems."
"What's the harm in letting me try?"
"Are you willing to make a bargain?"
"What? Have I got something in my teeth?"
"I'm sorry, does that hurt?"
"Do you want to talk about it, or should we just pretend like we already did?"
"I really don't want to have this conversation right now."
"I think you've had enough to drink."
"Do you have nothing better to do?"
"How come you always make fun of me?"
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hellonerf · 1 day
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endless insanity incoherent shit about ame and love and family(featuring england and cana a bit specifically sorry france i actually do have thoughts about that there but i'm lazy and tired and this is incoherent already)(it didn't start off like that this is honestly like some stream of thought shit hence the incoherence)
some shit when i think about. sorry. colonial ame extremely upset tantrums theres no way england didnt hit him or spank him which would just upset ame more. ame would sulk and wish for england to drop dead because theres not much else he can say or do about the frustration. cana goody two shoes kid would be like why do you have to act out like that so much... ame immediate rage. probably hits cana like GO CRY ABOUT IT!!! and cana cries and then england walks in like America!!! and it just gets worse. but in the end when england has to leave again ame still clings and cries after england is saying his goodbyes. england does feel that he cares about ame deeply, so he does try to show his affection. theres some gap here between the care he shows and his "responsibility as a caretaker" if you will... and he's like a teen dad at this point? with his own shitload of baggage and ideas on responsibility from that baggage. man this family can be so interesting. i love tension
of course. this is just my crazythinking that in situations where, you could say, england's parenting was abusive of sorts, specifically in the physical way, to punish tantrums or etc... i think cana would be inclined to try to play polite kid to avoid punishment. and so he would feel maybe more vindicated? that he's the good example. in this it creates kind of a chasm between england/cana and ame. (why i think mapletea would just drive ame crazy wall smashing head insane, besides that ame already feels jealous/insecure like that anyways no matter what) this feeling is pushed by the revolution where ame and england are Like That, and here again cana sides with england(he's not Fully in it but he does technically side with england, and ame definitely views it like that). to him this is proof... of what you ask? i don't know..... that period where he was on decidedly bad terms with both of them, i always think he's like teenage-losing it about it. won't show it or at least will try not to of course, but it's genuinely something that eats at him so hard. (ame voice Nobody loves me. Everyone should love me. i could probably make that happen.) and ame decides things like that first and foremost with personal relations. this is specific, but im like, i think it's a mental testing he does on people. example, completely without their knowledge, someone's random act can register in his brain as an opposition to him, because his mind decided that's what it means.(somewhere subconscious). so for some time i'd imagine in his mind, that cana and england hated him, or looked down on him, or expected him to wind up dead anyways. ame is never not looking for approval and this fuels that sooooo much. it's like spite and anger and crying and stomping on the ground and in a way grieving. he's staring at the sky like it's unfair. they don't want me in their life. because i'm better than them. i hate them so much.(he wouldn't say it like this to other people, hate is a strong word, and i wouldn't say he hates them here either)
despite his bravado of "whaat? everyone likes me right?" the mental cogs are stuck here no matter what he says. cana loves him, even if it's so frustrating to, cana cares about him deeply. it fucks with ame's brain but he knows this deep down, that cana does love and care about him. at some point too he knows the same for england. but i also think he's like, specifically with cana too when he's specifically being really cynical about relations is like, "oh and he's only around... cause he has to be..." and ame wouldn't entirely be wrong there. and cana would argue so what! do you need a cosmic soulmate love to prove something? and ame is like (yeah i kinda do....). love can't just exist for you right here right now?! cana's love is "invalidated" in this sense. and also it hurts his brain too much to really think about the complexities in his relationship to both england and cana. that they really did care about him, but it's not easy. (hurts his brain... like why is interaction so stressful? why is it complicated? why can't people just go i love you and the end?). ame is not a romantic person but i think his view on love can get so fantastical like this. (he wants to be the one proposed to awwww omg you guysss...) at the same time it's a very simple view on love. he doesn't want to end up humiliated and is willing to humiliate others to avoid it. if love is true then there is One True Love... For him... JK! NOT FOR HIM!(slurps soda) who needs that shyit!!!(eats burger). a lot of things he can't/really doesn't want to accept. this is why i'd say anytime he ever felt feelings significant enough that even he would call it love it was mindnumbingly overwhelming. putting his eggs in one basket... don't fail me now!!! (and i always think none of his relationships are stable. duh. so). i like fics where ame is made to be like a crazy ex girlfriend. because he would. rather than love as a constant thing to do it sometimes feels more like an achievement or endpoint for him. something that happens at the end of movies lol... if love was happening REALTIME it'd be surreal for him to process. and like true genuine love not his fake idea of what love looks like
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imthepunchlord · 2 hours
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I think that the main problem with Marinette is that she always gets blamed for minor things, but her bigger mistakes are ignored.
She also gets blamed for things that aren't her fault. Like Reverser I blame Nathaniel and his extreme expectations, and Refleckdoll, it was Alya who was making things worse for Juleka while Marinette was trying to help. Gamer's another as she did play fair and square, and won fair and square.
But yeah, ML has an issue with priorities. With the mindset that ONLY Marinette can be at fault, which has her at fault for things that actually aren't her fault or are minor things when there are bigger faults with others; and that, for Marinette's actual faults and issues, they don't focus on the actual problems.
For one thing, Marinette is a perfectionist, in her work and responsibilities, and in how she helps people. This leads to her being meddling and controlling. With good intentions but she can take it far. She even has this idea that only she can be the solution, though more in an Atlas complex way than being egotistical.
Which I'll give the show this, by how it's set up, Adrien and Marinette kinda feed this bad aspect of their dynamic into each other. Adrien goofs around as a hero or doesn't take situations seriously with his flirting at bad times, so Marinette feels like she has to step up more as leader and responsible one, and Adrien doesn't get a chance to take things more seriously or be the leader as Marinette doesn't expect him to, which leads to his frustration of not being as valued as a partner like he wants and he acts out, and Marinette sees she can't rely on him as much and it just cycles.
I know the show sorta tries to address this with the insistence that Marinette can trust Alya and doesn't need to shoulder everything, which is great, if they didn't take it back right away validating Marinette in being right in not trusting Alya.
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Which man, that's one of Marinette's actual big issues, and you address it, and then take two steps back and reverse and vindicate the flawful mindset.
Another big issue is her over involving herself in this she doesn't or shouldn't get involved with, meddling included. She could do to ease back, let others solve their own problems. Like, Darkblade comes to mind (though there may be a better example). I do think it was a good episode, but you got Marinette admitting she's already busy, and doesn't want to be class rep, but steps up as no one else is. This is just an added responsibility she doesn't need but does so because she's involving herself in others problems.
This also leads into the other issue: Marinette's tendency to overpile onto her plate. They even focused on this in Gamer 2.0 but instead of doing a lesson of learning to ease up, take a break, and have fun (which Adrien could've been great for, heck, could've had them bond over a busy lifestyle); but nope, she passes Max off to her parents and continue being busy.
And of course, there's the big issue of her crush.
Like, they're 13-14 yos dealing with first crushes, they're going to be cringe and crazy as they don't know how to handle this, but they just take it way too far. And the extremes it's taken isn't even funny but concerning.
Marinette having his schedule.
The hoard of pictures.
Jealousy that spirals to extremes.
And having rose colored view of Adrien, to thinking he can never do wrong and feeling like she needs to protect and assist him, even at the risk of herself (Collector).
Part of the worst part about this is that this exists for the writers' amusement, taking it to unlikable extremes and not portrayed as really bad flaws that need to be addressed or have lessons about; which leads me to question what's the exaggeration and what can be more accurate/reasonable for the cringey, dramatic crush. Some of which could've been fine issues to fault her for and for her to get called out and learn from, but we don't get that, all we get is unpleasantness.
Oh! You could also cover Marinette's lack of prioritizing herself, and may not knowing how to take a break and have fun. Cause I don't know if this girl knows how to relax. And she definitely doesn't behave like a kid, but much older. Could even delve into the friendship problems she has not really connecting with her friends as well because she doesn't know how to be a kid, how to mess around and goof off.
Marinette has a good number of issues and flaws that can be addressed and worked with, but they pick the wrong ones to focus on.
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dreamerwitches · 5 hours
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Rating labyrinths: Gertrud!
Okay! Let's go with the labyrinth ratings wheeee!!!
What I'm going to do is rank separate parts of labyrinths (eg. anthony's labyrinth from ep 1 is separate to gertrud's from ep 2) but I'll also give an average at the end.
I will (most likely) only be doing labyrinths that are in colour (so maybe not manga witches)
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Anthony's labyrinth from episode 1
I think this is a really good one, especially as the first shown (not including walpy's). It really shows of the cut-out style of the labyrinths and the deep blue-hued colours are perfectly moody. The use of runes in the background is also really fun for secret messages. I feel the only downside is that it doesn't really scream Gertrud to me. Like, if you didn't know the series well and was shown this, I doubt you'd think it belonged to her. HOWEVER... I think this does work for Gertrud since all her precious roses are in her room with her. It makes sense that she'd keep them close.
You could say that it's weird that this labyrinth doesn't share colours with the main one but I think it works because it's a familiar's labyrinth. The photorealistic buildings also match the main labyrinth. I wonder if the butterfly and anthony traffic signs are meant to be a subtle warning to madoka and sayaka hmmm
I really like this one. A 5/5 for me
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Gertrud's labyrinth from episode 2
There's a lot to it so it's kinda hard to summarise in images lol. But it's another great one. Great imagery, lovely colours and has themes brought over from Anthony's labyrinth. I think the orange tones, although relaxing, also give off this sepia feel that makes it a little unnerving too. Like looking through a tinted view makes things seem unreal.
One of my favourite parts are the doorways that lead to black nothingness. Really helps with the labyrinthine feel. Small touches like the portraits with slight things changed in them to make them scary. It's the kind of thing you don't notice unless you pause. I also like how it seems the labyrinth becomes more luscious as you get deeper. The trees start bare, then with black leaves, then Gertrud's room is fully in bloom.
I wasn't sure whether to rank the boss room separately, maybe I will... I think the ceiling that doesn't quite make sense works well to make it feel disorientating and it's a fun contrast to the kinda pretty garden around Gertrud. It's messy but in a good way. I also think having the boss room have a different theme to the rest works. Just as before I mentioned that roses are only in her boss room, I think it would make sense that her special place may be better taken care of or just look overall nicer. It's very good but I'd say, not my favourite segment. Maybe just because it's only one room?? That makes it a little unfair to compare to the rest...
I'll give the labyrinth a 5/5. Boss room is a 4.5/5
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Gertrud's labyrinth from Magireco episode 11
Yeah... this one isn't it, chief... like, it has the things of her labyrinth but it's just not... uhhh I dunno it feels more like a set piece than a proper area...
Let's start with what I like: of course, I love the Gertrud motifs. The butterflies, the cut out images and the hidden text (although it's no different than the original anime iirc). I really like the halo above Gertrud's area. And the hanging loops. It's weird but pretty. Suits Gertrud!
Sadly that's where my positives end. The stark white is NOT Gertrud it's so weird... I guess the stone rose works better but not the rest. I kinda hate in the zoom out where... it just looks like a video game level, like I'm looking at mario 64 or something ToT that is not a labyrinth..! Just the overall layout is meh. I dislike the random fluff pile below it too. Just felt like they didnt know what to fill it with...
It's a dud but has some good things... I'm giving it a 1.5/5. I know there's worse which is why it's not a 1.
So overall Gertrud get's a.... 4/5 wow!!!
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egg-emperor · 1 day
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I don't reflect on it much now but it's times like these where I get harsh reminders of how bad of a year 2022 was and realize how far I've come
Becoming the target of harassment and slander due to a combination of my Eggman creations and then being blamed for my abuse after learning the reasons behind it was really hard. I almost died months before that campaign even happened because I was in a terrible place anyway and some knew and still hurt me and made it worse. They made me regret surviving for a while. And if I expressed how hurt I was by it all, I was called manipulative
I lost so much in so many ways and had vile things said about me and my abuse and if it wasn't for the real friends and the lovely followers and anons who stuck by and supported me, I don't think I'd still be here. I was still acting out in terrible ways online for a while after because I was in an absolute awful place mentally due to irl and online struggles. There's a lot of deleted posts and DMs I regret but I genuinely wasn't thinking right for months, my mind was genuinely fucked
I developed some bad habits that I haven't fully recovered from and fluctuate between how bad they are but I'm glad it's one of the only things left to work on. The stress, anxiety, and depression of 2022 worsened my health issues a lot as last year I started experiencing increased fainting and other physical health issues. At that point I realized I needed a change for my safety and health. For a while I didn't even feel like I deserved to be helped so it was hard but I finally did it
Now I'm getting support with bills, going to doctor and hospital appointments to look into my disability for diagnosis and hopefully to be helped, I have a therapist I just started with. I'm personally not an SSRI meds kind of guy so I've been doing every other method to recover instead. I've also made a ton of progress mentally on my own with my mindset, it's far less of a negative and angry place than it was then. I manage how I deal with setbacks better, I don't feel like I'm back at square one when things get bad now
I spend far less time thinking about what happened or letting their negativity consume me. There's been a few times since where parts of it have come back up and it's been challenging at times but I can handle them more rationally and be the sensible level-headed one and assure that I don't go back to that place. It's okay for me to be hurt by it and realize what happened to me was wrong but I don't let it haunt me every moment anymore. It's no longer the first thing I think of when I wake and last when I go to sleep
And I've realized what really matters and what's really important to me. The passion and joyful expression of the things I love and all the great people that are still here that I have the delight of getting to know and talk to. There's still a lot of challenges coming up in the future but I'm happy that it has nothing to do with everything back then. I want to express myself and my passion and never feel the shame they wanted me to. I want to get better. I finally want to live. I have hope and believe better times are ahead
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And I'm very grateful for everyone who is warm, kind and supportive of me along the way. I appreciate everyone who is accepting of me and make me feel like I finally belong somewhere. Thank you 💜
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gravityglitch-blog · 18 hours
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My contribution to @beauty-beast-week, organized by @firawren, for Day 3.
The prompt was Lavender (relaxation, sleep, baths, summer, scents...)
I imagine this taking place in the movie's timeline, between the "Human Again" sequence and the famous waltz.
INK AND MOONLIGHT
Be careful what you wish for, Belle thought to herself as she idly drew patterns in the frost on the library window panes.
All her life, she had felt different. She'd never considered herself better or worse than anyone else. She was simply...apart.
While everyone around her was down to earth, she was an incurable dreamer. Her mother had been like that, according to her faded memory. Her father, too. She'd spent most of her life sighing over the pages of fairy tales and wishing something fantastical would happen in her own life.
It didn't get much more fantastical than life with a mythic beast in an enchanted castle filled with living, breathing housewares.
How long had she been here now? A few weeks? A few months? Magic had a way of playing with your sense of time.
She sat curled up in a corner of one of the massive library's many window seats. At her back, flames cheerfully crackled in the fireplace, keeping her warm this winter's night and providing a soft glow to read by. She took another sip of the lavender tea Mrs. Potts had been so kind to provide and tried again to focus on the book in her hands. Normally this was no trouble. But tonight, she was distracted by thoughts of the dreams she'd been having.
It was the same dream, every night since she'd been in the castle. She was lost in a beautiful, unfamiliar forest. It was silent as death, and equally endless. She'd start out walking, then running in search of a path, anything to lead her out of there.
And then the man would appear before her.
She could never make out much about him.
His figure was always blurred, like she were trying to see him through a veil of water. She could make out a few details. Tall. Copper hair. The only thing really clear about him were his eyes, the purest blue she'd ever seen.
Her dream self would always ask, "Who are you? Can you help me?"
"I would give anything to tell you who I am," the man would reply, his voice soft and sad. "But I can only help you back to the castle."
She would pull away. "I don't want to go back there. I want to go home."
"I know," the stranger would say. "And I know you have no reason to trust me. But please believe when I say, you have nothing to fear from the castle or anyone in it."
Then he would hold out his hand to her.
She always wanted to ask more questions.
But somehow, in that one heartbeat, her fears would calm. She would reach out...and she would wake up.
It wasn't even enough to call a nightmare, but it left her unsettled all the same.
She wrapped her hands around her teacup to better absorb its warmth. Belle giggled lightly as she felt the teacup snoring against her palms. At least someone was getting a good night's sleep.
A flicker of shadow caught the edge of her vision. She looked up and saw Beast in one of the archways leading to another book-filled chamber. Though her fear of him had mostly dissolved after that night he'd rescued her from the wolves, she still found him a paradox.
There was strength and power in every line of him, and he could move through this castle quick and noiseless as the shadows themselves. Right now, he looked like a child who had been caught staying up past his bedtime.
"You can't sleep, either?" she asked.
"I didn't mean to disturb you," his deep voice rumbled.
"You're not," Belle assured him. "It gets so quiet around here at night, I...I'd be glad of the company for awhile, if you don't mind."
He nodded, and she thought she glimpsed a shy smile, but his expressions were often difficult to read. He took up the other corner of the window seat, farthest from her. He gazed out the window at the gently falling snow, seeming hesitant to look at her. The silence was broken only by the quiet sound of his breath and her heartbeat. Belle studied his reflection in the glass, the only way she felt she could safely look at him for more than a few moments without being rude. She'd been terrified of him at first sight, she had to admit. The setting and circumstances hadn't helped, her father locked in a dungeon while she bargained for his freedom. Later, when she'd tried to escape and run right into the jaws of the wolf pack, she'd witnessed the sheer ferocity and wildness he kept contained. Looking at him now...there was a strange grace about him. She could imagine him as a creature of myth, an otherworldly guardian of some secret or forbidden world. Belle gave herself a mental shake. No wonder the people back home called her a funny girl.
"What are you reading?" Beast asked finally.
In answer, she held out the book to him. Carefully he took it from her and leafed through a few pages. One heavy eyebrow went up. "Vampires? Are you trying to give yourself nightmares?"
Belle shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed. "What can I say? I've always found stories of the night fascinating."
He gave a rough snort, his version of a laugh. "No wonder you fit right in here."
She tilted her head. "How do you mean?"
"Can you really not feel it? The magic of this place embraces you like it's been waiting for you all its life."
Unsure what to say to that, she smoothed out non-existent wrinkles in her soft purple dress. Hoping to smooth out the awkward silence as well, she smiled gently at him. "And what about you?"
"What about me?"
She gestured at the caverns of books around them. "You're in here nearly as often as I am. What are your favorite kind of stories?"
He turned to look at her then, and this time she was certain of the smile. "You were the one that reminded me how much I enjoy reading. After so long, I'd nearly forgotten how. I don't think I've even thanked you yet for helping me remember."
"You don't have to thank me. I was happy to do it."
He nodded once, then returned to her question. "When I was young, it was adventure stories. Pirates and treasure hunting."
Belle's smile grew wider, her mind conjuring the image of a miniature Beast embarking on imaginary quests across the high seas. "And what about now?"
He drew in a deep breath, as if gathering up his courage. "Would you like to hear it?"
"You want to read to me?"
"It's the least I can do, after you brought it back to me."
"I'd love to hear it!"
He glided over to a shelf nearby and pulled out a green leather-bound volume, more worn-looking than the others in the library. He rested the book on the windowsill, now kneeling on the seat so he could open the book for her. Belle gasped as the pages spread out to reveal a map of the sky, constellations lovingly drawn and named in delicate strokes of ink. Most stunning of all were the illustrations in the center, the sun and moon frozen in a celestial dance. She gently set her sleeping teacup back on his tray, tucking a napkin around him like a blanket, so she could give her full attention to Beast and his story. Taking only the very edge of the page between his claws, he turned to the beginning of the story. Here the ink spun into an icy landscape, not unlike the scene outside their window. The sky in this picture had been replaced by delicately scrawled words. In his low, soft baritone, he began to read.
"Once upon a time there was a poor husbandman who had many children and little to give them in the way either of food or clothing. They were all pretty, but the prettiest of all was the youngest daughter, who was so beautiful that there were no bounds to her beauty."
She thought he glanced at her here, but surely it was her imagination.
Stop being silly, she chided herself.
"So once", he continued, "it was late on a Thursday evening in autumn, and wild weather outside, terribly dark, and raining so heavily and blowing so hard that the walls of the cottage shook again--they were all sitting together by the fireside, when suddenly some one rapped three times against the window-pane."
So went the story of a girl swept away from her mundane world on the back of a white bear, who was truly a prince in disguise, her true love. They were parted by a mistake realized too late. But so strong was their love, that the girl was undaunted, riding the Four Winds until she could rescue her prince.
Belle wanted so desperately to hear the ending. But the lavender tea was working its' magic, and Beast's voice and presence was so warm, that she fell asleep upon her folded arms.
___
Beast heard her first snore before he could read out happily ever after. He suppressed a laugh with all his strength. She had an adorable snore. Moving quietly, he put the book back in its place. Now he faced a dilemma. He didn't want to wake Belle, but he couldn't exactly leave her here, either. Praying that this wouldn't be pushing their newborn friendship too far, he carefully gathered her into his arms until he was carrying her bridal-style. His heart almost stopped when she stirred, but she only pushed her face further into his broad shoulder. "Warm," she mumbled dreamily.
He would have given anything to live in that moment forever. But time never stops, not even within the walls of an enchanted castle.
Beast glided out of the library and up the stairs to Belle's room. He could already hear whispers from a few insomniac servants. There'd be gossip among them by morning. The door to Belle's room kindly (and silently) opened itself for them. He delicately laid her down on her bed. He thought that she clung to his shirt for a moment before settling onto her pillows, but of course that had to be his imagination.
Don't be stupid, he scolded himself.
He pulled the blankets over her, and allowed himself the indulgence of brushing a rogue lock of hair away from her eyes. He made it to her doorway before looking back at her once more. "Sweet dreams, my princess."
He knew he had no right to call her this.
She might never return his feelings. 
Even if she did, a free spirit like Belle would never be owned by anyone, and that was part of what he loved about her.
But he couldn't help it. To him, she was a princess, no matter what happened next.
He softly closed the door and left her to her dreaming.
And dream she did. But this time, instead of the endless ominous forest, Belle dreamt of ink and moonlight and a gentle thundercloud weaving stories at her shoulder.
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caeslxys · 2 months
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Something I think is extremely interesting thematically when it comes to connecting what Downfall and the ideas it tackled to the overarching narrative of campaign three is that the things Downfall made a point to showcase of Aeor—Cassida, Hallis, the visual of an aeormaton proposing to her partner, the specific and intentional decision to shed light on a far from insignificant amount of the population being civilians or refugees—is that it plays in perfect parallel across from what is happening (and, really, has been happening) to the ruidusborn on Exandria in present.
Bear with me for a moment. Aeor is ultimately a city that was collectively punished for the decisions of its leadership. We could (and, judging by the amount of discourse around this particular topic already, probably will) argue about what the Gods’ motivation for all of this was—whether it be that they could not, in the end, bear to kill their siblings or that they were terrified at the prospect of mortality—for me it is a very healthy dose of both—but for this I am much more interested in the latter. They were scared. That, really, is the driving force behind both this arc and their role in c3 as a whole.
Why I point this out is: It is far more interesting to me, especially as we go back to Bells Hells this week, to dissect the Gods and their decisions not purely on sympathetic motivation alone but as beings in the highest seat of power in the highest social class in Exandria.
So, having established that the Gods (in relation to mortals) are more a higher social class than anything we could compare to our real life understanding of divinity and that Aeor was eviscerated largely because of their fear—what is the difference between those innocents in Aeor caught in the trappings of their autocratic government leadership and a divine war on the ground, and those of the ruidusborn being manipulated both by Ludinus and by the very thing that inspired such visceral fear in the Gods to start with. I would argue very little.
I think of Cassida, doing what she genuinely thought was right and good and would save people, her son, and the object of her worship—and how that did not matter enough to any of them to spare her because of the fear they held at the very concept of mortality. I think of Liliana and Imogen, one of which we know begged for the gods to help her or send her a sign for years on years, and how every single one of their largest struggles could have been avoided had the gods loved them, their supposed children, as much as they feared what they could be. I think of how the thing that did save Imogen, in the end, was a woman who herself existed in direct defiance of the gods will. I think of that young boy, sixteen years old, that Laudna exalted on Ruidus.
I think it’s completely fair to judge Aeor’s overall society as deeply corrupt—it was!—but its leadership and police force are not a reflection of every one of its citizens. Similarly, it is fair to judge the Ruby Vanguard as corrupt—it is!—but its multiple heads of leadership and even the god-eater further are not a reflection of every one of its members.
Notably, and what I think the Hells will latch onto, this did not matter to the Gods. It did not matter that Cassida was trying to help. She was still too much of a risk. Will it matter, what Imogen does? Will it matter, if that young boy is in the blast radius when they decide to take no further chances?
I’ve seen a lot of people say that the Hells will side with the gods and I don’t think I agree. Especially as Imogen has been scolded and villainized over and over for daring to try and save her mother—who herself has been seen by some as an irredeemable evil in spite of her drive being the exact same—her family—but when it’s the Gods it’s justified? When it’s the Gods, it’s sympathetic? Too sympathetic to criticize further than “they’re family”?
I obviously do not think the Gods should die or be eaten or what have you, and I certainly don’t agree with Ludinus (though I find him much more compelling than just a variation of hubris wizard), but when talking about the Gods in Aeor and in present it isn’t really at all about their motivation or their family. It can’t be. Too many people, including our active protagonists, lives have been effected for it to be as cut and dry as “they’re family”. These are your children. They are your family, too.
#critical role#cr meta#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#imogen temult#liliana temult#ludinus da'leth#does this make sense. I feel like i lost my initial thread somewhere around the middle bc my brain is currently spread very thin#but tldr: it is extremely interesting to me that the fall of aeor is such a perfect parallel to the ruidusborn#i could also go on endlessly ENDLESSLY about how cassida and liliana play the exact same role#and also i could go on even longer on what divinity as a concept even means in a world like exandria#and how trying to compare it to our real life understanding of divinity is a bit fruitless#on the basis that a person can become a god alone but also that they themselves undeniably exist#but its so good. it ties in so well. brennan did a fucking fantastic job at capturing the abject horror of it all#also aabria iyengar if you can hear me PLEASE bring deanna back i will send you fifty dollars#and also hello i very briefly said hello at the live show and wanted to tell you how incredible i think you are but alas#where did these tags go#anyway#WOAH this is long. I should’ve been writing fic. alas.#really I don't think any of the hells are gonna be able to just. gloss over the casualties of it all. but especially mog and ashton and lau#tal has even already said that downfall made some things better for ash and some things Worse so I know I'm not too far off#I have. many many thought on how laudna will see it all too.#truly think she is going to be the most vocally horrified
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canisalbus · 8 months
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sorry im emotonal and going off of the other asks sent about machete and just i need to stress how beautiful it is to me that machete sees himself so undeserving of love and affection and feeling as if vasco's too good for him but despite all that he is so incredibly devoted to vasco and loving towards him (in his own way) but is so incredibly clear to anyone with eyes that just how in love he is with vasco. like it's not done out of a "oh god please never realize that you're too good for me here here let me overdo it with the affection" its done with the "i love you, and will always love you, no matter what happens to us or separates us, and i will give it to you as long as i am able, and if you ever leave, i won't be okay, but will still love you, and want you happy". like he doesn't use his own feelings of being undeserving taint his love or the way he loves for vasco, and it's so, so beautiful
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dogboner · 5 months
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personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"
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