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#I don't wanna be a bad person
vulturesrottencorpse · 5 months
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Is this part of my autism or am I just an asshole
ok so basically, there's this really nice girl in my class, she keeps trying to talk me me (guess she wants to be my friend) but I don't like her. I go to a school that isn't mainstream so we get a lot of people with autism, ADHD, ect. You'd think this would make this easier to make friends, right? No. For some reason I'm a very picky person with who I talk to, I need someone who's smarter than me or gets my humour or something. This girl, she just talks, and talks and doesn't get the hint when I try to politely shoo her away. I'll be drawing, she will comment on it and if I respond even with a thanks, she takes it as an invitation to pull her chair over and sit and draw with me. Constantly asking "should I do this?" "How do I draw this part" " what do you think" every 2 minutes. It annoys me because 1, I don't want to be rude, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I can't just tell her to go away, and 2 , I HATE socialising, even with my friends I find talking hard (irl, at least)
Getting too long but, is this normal? Am I a bad person for not liking this person who wants to be my friend, who's really nice and shares all my interests? Aren't you supposed to like people who are just like you? We are almost exactly the same yet I can't stand her. Maybe this is what it's like for other people who talk to me. I don't know.
Edit: a part I forgot to mention was that she has anger issues and gets annoyed pretty easily. When she's mad she just starts yelling and stuff, if I accidentally offend her by telling her I don't want to be her friend I'd be the centre of attention as the person she'd yelling at, which would probably give me a panic attack.
Since the start of this year I've become a very VERY shy person. If you were to ask anyone in my class or any teachers (from my class only) about me theyed probably shrug and say "who?" Or, "oh. The one that draws all the time" which is super odd because basically my whole life I've been bullied and to combat that I became a very loud and outspoken perdon. I still had social anxiety but with my friends I was pretty much obnoxiously confident. I've gone from being told to "shut up!" And "stop talking to loud" to "speak up" and "talk a bit louder nobody can hear you." So the switch is pretty sudden, and attention, ANY attention, a teacher saying hi to me in class, someone walking past and even glancing at me, sets me into panic.
So I can't tell this girl to simply go away, even if I wasn't scared of being mean.
Also, rereading this post I'd like to clarify that I asked if this was autism because of my extremely low social battery, people pleasing behaviour, ect. And I asked if im an asshole because you're SUPPOSED to get along with people who are the same as you. With people who have similar interests or struggles but I HATE being around those people. I hate being around people who remind me of myself. My whole life I've been friends with the confident, loud and unapologetic people. But the more I think, the more my brain tells me "you just don't like them because they have autism, and that annoys you" (IM LITERALLY AUTISTIC)
This is quickly turning into a long ramble session rather than an explanation. So, feel free to just ignore this wall of text lmao.
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bunnyboy-juice · 3 months
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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bixels · 3 months
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I'm not getting into The Giving Tree discourse...
#personal#delete later#idk i just saw a post of the “alternate ending” comic on my dash and everyone praising it as an improvement and “fixing” the original#which i kinda resent#while tulli and i was taking my nephew to a book store we walked around the kids section and found the giving tree and we read through it#and i was so stricken by how profoundly sad it is. it's not a happy story#in the end both versions tell the exact same lesson. but one flat out tells you and the other makes you sit with a pit in your stomach#and work to find the answer#i dunno it's kids literature but kids literature is important. i don't wanna discredit anyone's bad memories with the book but also i think#sometimes it's ok to make kids a bit sad and upset with fiction.#tweet that goes “what if romeo and juliet didn't kill themselves and explained to the audience that family feuds are bad”#idk you can't seriously read the original book as an adult and say it's glorifying self-martyrdom#when the final drawing of the book is of an old tired man sitting on arotting stump with his hat fallen to the ground#again i don't wanna invalidate people's feelings if they enjoy the alt version i think it's really nice too. but the original has its#purpose too. imagine if at the end of the lorax they show that the boy did it and replanted the world happy ending#wait they did that in the movie shit#i dunno i just love somber children's literature. tulli and i are talking about moomin right now and how the series ends with the moomin#family just leaving. and nobody gets to say goodbye to them. their friends have to find ways to live with the emptiness they've left behin
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artkaninchenbau · 22 days
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Wanted to make an Egghead-themed sticker sheet for a looong time, and once I got to it I noticed had enough room for a few more extras after the Strawhats were done... So here's some Cross Guild chibs for you
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starry-bi-sky · 4 months
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tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid
okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.
Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.
It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.
(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)
There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.
It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.
Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.
Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.
He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.
At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.
This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.
Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.
Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.
Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.
("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)
Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.
Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.
Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.
Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.
Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".
(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)
Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.
He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.
Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.
Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.
At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.
He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.
Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."
And there it is. There's his out.
Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."
The ball starts rolling.
Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.
He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.
It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.
Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.
He breaks the lock by hand.
Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.
The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.
And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.
I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"
I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.
Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.
But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.
Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.
Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.
Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.
Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.
And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#tales of the passerine au#i dont want to overemphasize how much vlad sucks but also i dont want to downplay it. but also i didn't wanna make this post too long#i didn't emphasize enough on vlad's possessiveness but i wanted to make this post as general enough as possible for the au.#for some more wiggle room in the future if i make more posts about this au.#the consequences for Danny repressing himself was not a concern i was focused on for the post but i am thinking about it and mulling it ove#i'll be blunt my main specific reason for why this occurs shortly after tue is bc it means dani doesn't exist yet and it means i dont have#to include her in the continuation of this au. i love that girl but she's a dead weight. i dont wanna come up with an elaborate reason as#to why she's not in the picture when i can just say 'she never created in the first place' instead. i don't have anything for her to do#I don't want to risk giving her a poor plot line just so that she exists in au.#sometimes i really hate just how long my posts get. i feel like it kills my engagement. but i also don't want to make posts that have#a part 1 and part 2 just because I think it got too long.#i feel kinda bad for having Danny take the spot of 'first partner' from Dick. But that was part of the reason i was inspired to make this a#i've already got the skeleton of a reasoning for danny becoming a vigilante being made in my head.#He can't go by Phantom since that risks drawing Vlad's attention -- a new vigilante showing up in Gotham. a place the visited frequently#who goes by the name Phantom? He'd be on that faster than chickens on meat. and nightingale has familial meaning behind it due to being#part of an ancestral name. it follows robin's theme of using it to honor his parents while still having its own unique enough lore to stand#on its own without feeling like a cheap copy. plus the bonus meta reason that it follows the bird theme. which personally is vital to me#my other alternative to Nightingale is Sparrow. mostly because it has good phonetic structure for a hero name. not too many syllables#a good balance of consonants and vowels. dont want a hero name with too many syllables or unbalanced consonants. or worse; both.#my reasonings is that hero names should be easy for a civ or teammate to yell while still being understood. max amount of syllables before#it threatens to become too wordy is 3. If it goes over 3 it should have a balanced consonant-vowel ratio. Wonder Woman is a good example#some things got cut here that were in the initial oneshot. like danny giving bruce his physical ghost core and showing up bloody.#the first son au
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shakingparadigm · 5 months
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what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?
It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:
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During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.
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Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.
I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:
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I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.
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The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.
This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.
The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.
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I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.
#ivan u fucked up little guy.#also okay i just wanna clear this up#i know i make a lot of posts about ivans darker side and his more problematic traits#but this isn't me trying to villainize him or reduce him down to “toxic yaoi”#I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW ALL MY TOXIC YAOI POSTS ARE LIGHTHEARTED.#i just want to clarify that ivan was always intended to be a darker and complicated character. even since his debut in round 3#the way i refer to ivan (“twisted” “creepy” “obssessive” etc) are literally the direct words used by q and v themselves to describe him#but despite that id like to emphasize that i don't see ivan as a villain or a completely bad person. hes complicated#there is no normalcy in this world they are living in. none of the characters know what being truly normal is#this isn't me condoning his actions#but it has to be acknowledged that alnst is fucked up in nature. we can't expect perfect relationships from people who are born to die#plus ivan has a lot more layers past the “dark” parts. he's constantly battling himself and his desires#especially at the end of round 6 where he performs a myriad of conflicting actions (kiss strangle peck smile)#thanks to the r6 production notes we now know that ivan was going through a rapid internal conflict#“sure and unsure at the same time”#there is sooo much to ivan. his low self-esteem. his desire and possessiveness despite knowing till will never love him#his VEHEMENT insistence that till will never love him vs his desperate persistence in trying anyway#uh i need to shut up i think#anyways sorry. just wanted to clarify my thoughts on him in case people think im. yk.#in short. hes a fucked up little freak and he fascinates me. this poor tragic child. i love him.#SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#asks
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trans-androgyne · 2 months
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Hello, if you have time in really confused on something and was reccomended messaging you
I'm fairly new to Tumblr, I've only been on here a year and a term I've been newly introduced to is transandrophobia and I'm really very confused. I'm getting a solid mix of people saying it's a thing and people saying it's not and I keep trying to look it up but it's just people arguing with each other
I'm just. Very confused. Please help
Thank you
Of course, happy to help. Transandrophobia is the system of oppression that targets trans men and transmasculine people. Most people use it to mean the intersection of transphobia and sexism that primarily affects trans men and mascs--by sexism, I mean both misogyny and antimasculinism. Examples include the "Irreversible Damage" narrative that paints us as delusional little girls too dumb to know what's good for us and our bodies (misogyny), and the way testosterone is demonized and trans men/mascs are encouraged to stay off it even by other queer and trans people (antimasculinism).
The biggest issue people take with it is that they don't think sexism affects men or that they can have any unique experiences ("trans men can't be oppressed for being men"). This is a misunderstanding of both sexism and intersectionality. If you look up sexism anywhere, just about every definition will clarify that it usually affects women but can also target men. And basic intersectionality is that all of our identities--including race, gender, transness, disability, and everything else--all interact to create a unique experience with privilege and oppression. People will claim that intersectionality exclusively means two systems of oppression (like misogyny and racism) intersecting, but that is most certainly not how I was taught it in college. None of this is to say that men are generally oppressed for their gender, it just means that trans men and mascs can and do in fact have experiences specific to them--manhood/masculinity is not the "default" experience, as there is no default human experience.
There are a couple even less valid issues people take with the term. They'll say that, unlike trans women, trans men and mascs "just don't need" a word to describe their oppression, that we're just trying to copy from "transmisogyny" and our oppression is either "just transphobia" or "just misogyny." This is a very silly argument. It is both transphobia and misogyny, interacting. When my doctors misgender me to be misogynistic towards me, that is both. That is transandrophobia. The woman who coined the term transmisogyny states that trans men and transmascs may require "additional language" to talk about our issues, so she doesn't even agree with these people. Folks will also attack the makeup of the term, saying "transandrophobia can't exist because androphobia doesn't exist." This misunderstands how words work; it's like saying "homophobia can't exist because I'm not 'afraid of things that are the same.'" Also, androphobia (the literal fear of men) does exist, but it's not really what we're talking about. Additionally, people will claim trans men and mascs are using this term to try to say that trans women oppress us. This is just blatantly false; nobody notable in the conversation has ever claimed anything close to that, and the few individuals who have said something like that are immediately shut down as terfy/bigoted.
I apologize for the length, but I hope that helped break down what the term means and why people have issues with it. I didn't really include examples for length reasons, but I would be happy to share more or answer any other questions you have. Thank you for seeking an understanding of the term.
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elviraaxen · 2 months
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I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants
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sergle · 8 months
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a really good way to get blocked is to send me unsolicited opinions on my chronic pain management fyi
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bonicedemandarina · 9 months
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I watched Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust some time ago and ofc I had to draw the bbg
I wanted to make a canvas full of cool drawings but i got bored after two so here's a sketch of D eating a burger
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And here's the full thing and some close ups
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u can also zoom in to see the dumb lil comic if u want to
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tradingjack · 8 months
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having fun with colors for once :P
thanks @creepycoffins for the awesome dtiys :D
#creepycoffinsdtiys#trigun#millions knives#vash the stampede#i haven't drawn nearly enough knives. posted him even less#him and vash are so fun to draw :P ik they have the same face but it's like. fun to experiment with how different i can make them look yk#also admittedly. did most of this at work during downtime so if it looks funky..... my bad#the lighting isn't the greatest aight?? it's night shift and there's no windows but they do dim the lights#i did do the limited coloring i did at home lol. wasnt gon bring more art supplies to work#trying to get back into the swing of things with my drawing. i got myself a huion display for my birthday this year!#on top of my traditional i wanna do more animated stuff#primarily animated bc honestly i don't really wanna learn digital painting or whatever. im not interested in that and i like my harsh style#i'd also like to do more original work. i think last year was literally just trigun fanart lmfaoo#we'll see how things turn out ig#i'm not really holding myself to doing anything bc i don't see that turning out well. i am applying myself to more fan projects at the leas#tho those i'm applying more as a writer lmfao#well anyway. enough about me. i actually really like the drawing this was based off of! i didn't include the full body designs#and tbh vash's design is almost entirely cut out just cuz how the pose worked out :(#so i would highly suggest checking out the original art by the person i tagged!#and their other art's pretty banging as well :D
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butwhatifidothis · 2 months
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You know, I find it so interesting that you say that Raxy. Not just because the post you pulled this from was in fact talking about people saying this about Flayn, but specifically because of the date of your tweets here.
July 12? You mean a day after I posted more of Shandale's disgusting shit they've said?
Which includes this
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And further digging shows these aren't the only times they've said this either!
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Did you mean to say that you aren't talking about Flayn, Raxy boy? Because trust me, this mod of the biggest Edelgard discord certainly is, and has made that a very clear thing for quite a while now. Something you would have to know, given that you would've had to scroll past this post in order to get to the one your screencapping.
Wonder why you left that out, in your tweety tweet tweet tweeter post? Is it because you recognize that trying to make Flayn out to be this evil boogeyman would get you either laughed out or tossed out the room and make you look stupid and/or insane? And so you just conveniently look over your buddy doing that thing you say never happens?
You know Raxy boy, the effort it takes for you to go around my block of you and lie about me and what's been going on in your circle of the fandom would be far better spent trying to talk to this shit stain stinking up the discord you're in into cleaning their act up some so this wouldn't keep happening. After all, you did that for ol' Dolphin! You were super willing to cut her out cuz of what she'd been doing! Why won't you do the same here? That's mighty strange, wouldn't ya say?
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the-nothing-maker · 2 months
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Every Pathologic 2 review I've read goes something like "this game will fuck you up in ways you cannot possibly imagine and not even in fun quirky ways. You will die a thousand times and not know how what to do ever. I am begging you to play it."
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grayve-mistake · 1 year
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this is just kind of a big tangent but like I fucking hate when nerd ass losers see a game with even vague similarities to another game and go "ERMMM. HOW ORIGINALL (SARCASTIC). THIS IS JUST ANOTHER GAME IN THE STUPID TREND OF-" and then they list every genre/label under the sun to try and discredit the game as unoriginal by comparing it to other games. 90% of the time they haven't even played the game they're complaining about. they just see pixel art and get angry ig.
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like look at this image. look at this and tell me it's not just alphabet soup. what do half of these words even mean. congrats on discovering what a genre is I guess?????????? good for you?????? do you want a fuckin award or something???? a little handclap??? shall I pour you a little glass of wine for being oh so smart and sophisticated for figuring out that Things Can Have Little Similarities Sometimes?????? just say that 7 years later you're still bitter that undertale got popular and leave oh my god "quirky dialogue" oh I'm sorry did you want your dialogue boring and soulless yeah let me just remove the personality from the game. here's your Nothing Burger I hope you're happy. "pixel art" oh so i guess like almost every game that came out in the 80s and 90s is actually just part of a so-called "2010s-2020s trend". These people genuinely think earthbound and celeste are "Basically The Same". it's not even an rpg. You had to throw in platformers in your disgusting word smoothie because otherwise you couldn't even find any real similarities besides "has a story and contains pixels". they think the psychological horror game Omori is just Undertale 2. yeah sorry guys Super Fuckin Mario Brothers is part of the quirky rpg metroidvania fjhksdgjhlkfgsdhkfgh-like diarrhea trend. cant play it now or you're cringe and bad. do you people ever get TIIIRRREEDDDDD. DO YOU EVER ENJOY THINGS. ON THEIR OWN MERIT. DO YOU EVEN GIVE THINGS A CHANCE. YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL FOR NOT LIKING THINGS YOU'RE BORING AND ANNOYING AS FUCK. I'm so fucking done
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crownedwille · 2 months
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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beanghostprincess · 10 months
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Thinking bout transfem Buggy. Thinking about how I firmly believe that Buggy wouldn’t even fucking change anything about herself, dresses suck balls, she’s already wearing makeup as is, what the fuck kind of advantage would there be in being a more feminine pirate anyways? Literally not changing shit about herself except his pronouns are now she/him.
… also thinking about her realizing that about herself as a kid and Shanks just being fully on board with it from the get go. Kid was already secretly in awe at how pretty his best friend could be but now the context is different as well. Of course half the time he wouldn’t tell Buggy that he thinks she’s the prettiest girl in the world because they both still have their friendly bickering dynamic so when he compliments her most of the time it’s partly disguised as a setup to an insult (also because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of the prettiest girl in the world by telling her she’s beautiful) „ You know we COULD just get you a fake fishtail and string you up like a galleon figure in front of our ship. Our enemies would be distracted enough by your lovely hair and eyes so we could get the drop on them easily…. Of course we’d have to stuff your mouth with something because as soon as they hear you shriek obscenities at them the spell would be ruined.“ Cue him dodging a flying fist and laughing maniacally as he makes a run from a furious clown girl.
THE LAST LINE I AM LOSING IT HELP DJSEDBDFJKBAFDBJEKBFJKEBFJAKEJFBSJKDBJKSBFJKBWESKJ
OKAY BUT- But this is actually SO sweet. Transfem Buggy my beloved. Shanks pining for Buggy my beloved. Buggy telling Roger and Rayleigh about being a girl and they're just- So supportive. They land on an island and Roger buys her a pretty dress and she's like "Uh, captain, I don't really like dresses, tbh. But uhhh-" and Roger is like, SO excited to have a girl but he does not know how to raise one AT ALL and Buggy just accepts it uncomfortably bc she doesn't want Roger to feel bad- Then Rayleigh actually buys her something useful and cool af (aka make up) and she isn't sure about it first but that's the start of the prettiest clown ever.
Shanks is pining HARD. It's unbearable. Puppy love. Roger asks Buggy if she wants a room for herself now that she's a girl or whatever and Buggy highly considers it bc damn a room for herself???? That would make Shanks SO jealous. But also she wouldn't see Shanks all the time. Hard decision. But also the fact that they still share a room now makes Shanks go fucking wild. They're stupid, yes.
Buggy doesn't change much after that, but there's obviously something different about her and Shanks can't deal with it. He's so down bad that he'll probably just drown and die or smth. And everybody knows Shanks is in love with her because it's obvious af. You know when Oden and Toki were pining and obviously flirting and Marco and the others were spying on them to see how their relationship developed? Well, same thing here except that these two only bicker and fight and when they aren't doing that, their sweet moments are extremely embarrassing to witness.
Transfem Buggy is,, So real to me. I love you, girl. Maybe Ivankov helps her, even. And then she meets Shanks again and the guy has a fucking stroke.
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