#I don't want to live with my parents Forever but for now I think it'll work out well! I'm better at being assertive now

[brown-little-robin]

~

[strangersteddierthings]

Shovel Talk(s) Part One

Part One 🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four

Steve and Eddie aren't even together when Steve gets the Shovel Talk from Eddie's uncle, but it is what tips Steve into talking to Eddie about his feelings, so he's not upset by it.

They aren't dating, not because he doesn't want Eddie, because he absolutely does. It's just that he wants to be sure Eddie wants him back. There are times when he's sure, when Eddie gets into his space a bit too close, or more often, than he does with anyone else. Eddie calls him a thousand and one nicknames, ranging from sweet to irritating but just when Steve thinks that's a perk left just for him, Eddie hands someone else a new nickname (just the one, a voice in Steve's head that sounds suspiciously like Robin says).

Not that any of that is the point. Wayne wouldn't bother to give Steve a shovel talk at all unless he knew how Eddie felt. Wayne is a man of action, and he's never done anything unless it mattered. Meant something. Steve and Wayne have sat in plenty of (what Steve considers to be) awkward silences because Wayne doesn't talk to fill the void of silence.

The point is, Steve drops Eddie off at the house the government so graciously bought for the Munsons, walks Eddie to the door and giving Eddie a hug goodbye. He stays on the porch until Eddie shuts the door and then nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Wayne call out his name.

"Harrington," Wayne says from the shadows of the wrap around porch.

So, Steve jumps and it's only then he notices that Wayne is sitting at the table and chairs set up on the porch. "Mr. Munson, sir, hi. Hello."

Wayne lets out a chuckle, but it doesn't really sound amused. "I have come to accept that you are nothing like your father, boy, but I do want to make it clear to you, that Eddie means more to me than anything else on this Earth."

"I know, sir."

"I know you do. And while I will forever be grateful that you helped return him to me alive, know that I will not hesitate to make you disappear if you hurt my boy in a way he can't bounce back from."

Steve's not afraid of Wayne, not really, but that doesn't stop him from feeling the need to flee. He doesn't, though, because he'd gotten enough shovel talks from concerned parents in high school, and he knows they can sense weakness. "I can't promise I'd never hurt him, sir, but I can promise it'll never be intentional."

He can't actually see Wayne's face in the darkness but he feels sized up all the same.

"I believe that, Steve," Wayne says, and it's the first time Steve's ever heard his name leave the man's mouth, "now go home."

-

Wayne's shovel talk was expected. Robin's is not.

"You took Eddie on a date date?" She whispers it as though they aren't alone in Steve's living room. They're laying on the floor in a line, heads next to each other so if they turn slightly to the side they can make eye contact. Steve's not sure why they always end up on the floor for Serious Talk Time.

"Yeah," Steve says, looking away from Robin's face to stare up to the ceiling, "I mean, sorta? We can't like... be open that it was a date, but we went to dinner and a movie and it was nice. Shared a popcorn and played footsie under the diner table."

"Whoa," Robin says. "I never thought you'd- didn't think you'd be brave enough to ask him."

"Me either."

"Steve," Robin sounds serious, so Steve turns to look at her. She studies his face for a moment before she's the one to look away, speaks to the ceiling, "be careful with Eddie, yeah?"

"What? Careful how?"

"I just think you could really fuck him up," Robin says. "You're his first boyfriend, right? That's going to set a precedent for relationships that might happen if you two don't work out. And I hate to say this, because I know you've changed, but like, I saw how a lot of those girls you dated in high school ended up when you broke up with them."

Steve's a little hurt, because Robin's his best friend. She should be giving this talk to Eddie, not him. But, also, he understands. He knows that Robin knew about Eddie's sexuality before he did, knows they bonded over being queer while Steve was still figuring himself out.

Steve also knows that Eddie's never been in a relationship before, Eddie'd told him at much when Steve asked him out. Steve doesn't like that Robin implied that he and Eddie will eventually break up, but no matter how much that thought makes Steve's heart ache, he won't know if it'll happen unless it does.

He just doesn't understand why she seems to think he'll be the one breaking Eddie's heart. It could go the other way.

"Did you OD over there?" Robin asks, trying to lighten the mood.

"No," Steve answers, "I'll be careful."

-

They've been on four more dates before Nancy knocks on his door. She doesn't accept his invitation to come inside. Just starts speaking on his doorstep.

"As Eddie's Capital P Soulmate," is how she starts that sentence, and it makes something hurt deep inside Steve as he tries not to think about Robin, "I am obligated to remind you that I do own several guns now. And I don't miss."

"Jesus Christ," Steve says, because even Wayne was more subtle, "I got it."

"Good. I do know you'd never hurt him on purpose," Nancy says but Steve doesn't feel reassured.

He thinks that, if she really didn't think he's going to end up hurting Eddie she wouldn't have said anything at all. "Right."

"Well, good talk Steve," and then she's walking down the driveway and climbing into her car.

He closes the door and goes to the kitchen to get himself a beer, mostly so he has something to do besides stew in his emotions. He wonders if Eddie has been given the shovel talk, too? Maybe Robin did the same thing Nancy just did. Showed up unprompted, threatened Eddie with some sort of bodily harm, and then just left.

Steve grabs the phone and dials Eddie's number.

"Hello?" Eddie's voice greets him, albeit questioningly.

"Eddie, it's Steve."

"Oh, hello sweetheart," Eddie says, "are you calling for business or pleasure?"

Steve laughs, "business."

"Boo!"

"Listen, uh, I had a question. I just wanted to know if anyone's said anything to you. About us. Or, y'know, specifically about us and our relationship?"

"Uh, not really? A few congratulations, I guess. Why? Did someone say something?" Eddie's voice is level, almost too level, so Steve knows he's trying to keep cool.

"Oh, no! No! I mean, aside from the scary shovel talk from- Wayne, everyone's been surprisingly cool about it. Very supportive," Steve says and even though it's true, everyone they've told has been cool about it, it feels a little bit like a lie.

Eddie laughs, "I can't believe my uncle gave you a shovel talk! You know, I keep expecting to get one from Robin but so far nothing. She must think you're safe in my capable hands."

Steve is safe in Eddie's hand, he thinks, but that doesn't stop the sting that goes through him. "Of course, she does. You've been a perfect boyfriend."

There's a pause before Eddie's voice comes through the phone, soft and quiet, "I'm glad you said so. I want to be. For you."

"You're not allowed to say those kinds of things when you aren't within kissing distance, babe," Steve says, because if he doesn't add humor to this conversation, he's going to tell Eddie he loves him instead, and even Steve knows that saying that a month into dating is too soon, especially over the phone where he can't see Eddie's reaction.

Eddie laughs and makes kissing sounds at him before the conversation shifts to chatting about the day and making plans for the weekend.

-

Steve is trying really hard to not be the person he was in high school but every time he gets to the point where he's being a better person, someone brings up how he used to be. Shoves it back into his face that no matter what Steve does he can't outrun his past.

One such time is shortly after Steve and Eddie accidentally come out as a couple to all of Hellfire. Steve was just dropping off the boys and had stepped inside to chat a bit. Once game time had arrived it had and Steve made to leave, they'd (he and Eddie) had been on autopilot. Eddie'd whined 'where's my goodbye kiss?' and Steve had stepped over, kissed him goodbye, and was out the door before it had actually computed.

Steve had burst back through the door, rushing back to Eddie, because no way in Hell was he going to leave his boyfriend to deal with whatever the consequences would be alone.

It had been absolute chaos at the table with people shouting over each other.

"Of all the people you could be with, you picked Steve!? You could do better!" Mike had whined, and Steve had thought for sure he was the only one who had heard Mike until he saw Will punch his arm and hiss his own 'don't be a dick' at Mike.

It took almost half an hour to calm everyone down. It was a relief to know that Eddie had come out to his bandmates/the older Hellfire members already. The kids took it in stride, in the end, and Eddie had shoo'd Steve away.

Jeff had excused himself, too, and Steve thought he was just going to use the bathroom but instead he followed Steve outside.

Ah. Steve knows what's coming.

"Harrington," Jeff says, "can't say I'm excited that you're the secret boyfriend Eddie's constantly sighing wistfully about. I'm sure Wayne's already threatened you," And Robin, and Nancy, and Mike doesn't think he's good enough, "but if you hurt Eddie-"

"I get it! There will be dire consequences if I hurt Eddie," Steve snaps, not down for hearing it anymore. He stomps to his car and peels away from the curb without bothering to look back.

-

If he's being honest, Steve didn't even know he had a breaking point with shovel talks until he gets his fifth one from Dustin.

It's not even a shovel talk. It's just a single sentence, said almost a month after Dustin learned about their relationship. He's dropping Dustin off after their DnD game. Normally Claudia picks him up, but she's busy tonight and asked Steve to do it.

"Alright, Henderson, safely delivered."

"Thanks, Steve," Dustin says, unbuckles his seatbelt, and opens the door, before turning back to Steve. He just looks at him for a moment.

"What?"

"I'm happy for you and Eddie. Just, don't hurt him, ok?"

He nods his head but can't say anything. Dustin grabs his backpack, shoots him a smile, and climbs out. Steve does wait until Dustin closes the front door behind him before putting the car back in gear.

He manages to get home, somehow, because Steve doesn't fully remember the drive. It's not that his mind was so focused on something else that made him fail to take in his surroundings, but rather that his mind wasn't even a part of his body anymore.

One moment he was pulling away from the Henderson residence, and the next, he was home, just standing in his kitchen in the dark. And now that his thoughts are back, or easier to process, he finds himself wondering why everyone thinks that he's going to be the one to hurt Eddie.

How many people has he hurt that this is his reputation? Is it inevitable that he will hurt Eddie? Is it truly just a matter of time until he breaks Eddies heart? Why is everyone so convinced that he will?

Briefly the thought occurs to him that maybe he should call up Eddie and break up with him right now, before Eddie has a chance to get in deep enough that Steve could break his heart, but just the thought of it breaks Steve's heart, so he's not going to do that. Doesn't want to do that. That would just be punishing Eddie for something he didn't do.

None of this is Eddie's fault, and Steve's an asshole for even thinking of breaking up with him because of it. Which feeds him back into the loop of thinking that maybe everyone is right about him. He is an asshole and will someday hurt Eddie, perhaps even on purpose.

He loves Eddie. He's in love with Eddie. But does loving him mean proving his friends wrong? Or does it mean leaving him before they're proven right?

He wants to ask everyone why they think he'll hurt Eddie.

He wants to ask everyone why they don't care if he's the one that gets hurt.

[i-still-mask-because]

in the wake of all this new information during COVID, do you feel that maybe we should all just be masking all the time, COVID of no COVID? I mean it can't be the only airborne disease out there and immunocompromised ppl have always and will always exist so like. Following that thinking even if we don't have COVID we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right? Idk I'm stressing a lot about this do I just need to wear a mask outside forever cos. Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues and stuff but. I don't wanna?? Kill people by accident??? Aaaaa

Hello, thanks for reaching out about this.

I saw this ask about a month ago, and I needed time to think about how I'd respond to it (so I want to thank you for the patience!).

I'll try to answer all of this to the best of my ability, and I thought I'd answer this by going backwards (responding to the last things you said and then moving up with responding to the first things you said).

Everything is below the cut because this is very long!

First I'll try to summarize what I think you're asking here:

"Vulnerable people exist in this world all around me, therefore does this mean I'm constantly posing a threat to those vulnerable people's safety when I don't mask? The thought of this brings me feelings of stress, fear, and anxiety."

I find this is hard to answer candidly without risking stressing out you or anyone else who's aware of the consequences of their choice not to mask. Nonetheless, my honest answer is: yes, choosing not to mask means risking the lives and safety of vulnerable people, i.e. the disabled, immunocompromised, elderly, children & babies, and those that intersect those groups. That risk can take place directly (such as interacting with an immunocompromised elder) or indirectly (such as interacting with the parent of a disabled child).

I also want to add that it's not only those groups that need protecting. I firmly believe that regardless of your age and/or whether or not you self-identify as disabled or immunocompromised that everyone is at risk of the long-term consequences of this rapidly mutating, vascular, and immunosuppressive virus. No one is invincible to this, and I'll add: not even if you're vaccinated (still get vaccinated if you can, but know that you can still catch covid & develop long covid regardless of your vaccination status).

1. "Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues."

I understand how that can be difficult to deal with, trust me. There are specific masks (such as most standard KN95s) that irritate the hell out of my face after a certain point. The way those specific masks brush against the hairs of my cheeks just make me want to rip the mask off my face completely. Finding alternatives has been a lifesaver, and they've allowed me to get through the day without wanting to maul someone lol. I don't know what masks you have tried out already, so I'll just recommend the one's I like as well as the one's I've heard good reviews on from people that also have sensory issues:

NIOSH 3m Aura N95 Respirators

Flo Mask

GATA Mask (Haven't tried this one yet, but I've heard a LOT of people say this has been a game changer for them because of how comfortable it is & how it doesn't trigger much sensory issues at all due to its silicone material. Probably the only con I've heard is the chance of the build up of moisture in the mask after a long period of use & water possibly dripping on your face— this happens to me sometimes with my Flo Mask. Edit on Sept. 26, 2023: I tried GATA Mask, and I personally have a tough time getting a comfortable fit & seal with it, even when getting the small/medium size for adults to see if it'll make a difference, and the nose bridge shape not fitting well for me is a huge con. Customer service is just suggesting I spend more, so I'll just give this one a break, for now at least. A lot of other people seem to like it though.)

Halyard FLUIDSHIELD [ASTM Level 3] Mask (My mom works in a hospital, and these are masks she brings home from work. They're VERY comfortable for me, especially when I'm masking at home. I recommend finding a way to tighten the loops that go around your ears to prevent as much gaps around the mask as possible. If tight loops hurt your ears easily, I recommend a mask brace.)

O2 Nose Filters (I haven't tried these out yet as well, but I've seen videos demonstrating how effective these are at filtering out SOOO many unseen particles. I don't recommend using these alone of course, because there's still a risk of inhaling harmful aerosols through your mouth. I would recommend using this as a reinforcement of the protective measures you take. For example: adding on a comfortable surgical mask— ideally one with a high filtration efficiency like the previous suggestion— with the nose filters. I think these nose filters would be great if you're removing your mask real quick to take a sip of water or if you're outdoors with enough distance from crowded areas & groups.)

In the ideal world, more people would mask during this on-going pandemic so those that deal with sensory issues and/or those that straight-up can't wear a mask due to medical reasons wouldn't have to worry so much about choosing between existing & risking their health. For now, we just have to find alternatives.

2. "Do I need to wear a mask outside forever?"

My answer to this is: yes until further notice. There's no foreseeable end to this pandemic right now, but it would be worth the patience to wait for adequate tech, treatment, and cures for covid-19 to be released before even thinking about getting loose with masking.

Societal mandates have been dropped way too soon, and public health in regards to covid-19 is being forced on us as an individual responsibility. As a consequence, this gives this rapidly mutating virus a lot of wiggle room to spread and do whatever it wants. This means doctors and experts don't have much answers yet for adequate treatment because there's a MAJOR lack of containment (such as masking & quarantining) and documentation (such as testing & reporting). This isn't to say there hasn't been any advancements whatsoever: for example, Washington University just developed a breath test for covid that gives results in just 1 minute! This is great news! And this is just one reason why it's very necessary for those who can mask to mask, so scientists are given more time to roll out helpful solutions & tools sooner.

Another thing I'll add is if you're symptomatic and/or are positive for covid, you should 100% be wearing a mask no matter what, point blank period. I say "and/or" because it is VERY much possible to have covid and not experience any symptoms at all; this is a major reason why it's necessary to mask up in public consistently, because you can't always know who you bump into that may have covid or not.

3. "Even if we don't have covid, we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right?"

Yes, there is a possibility of spreading airborne diseases to vulnerable people unknowingly— without the protective & preventative tools that is.

I can only speak for America because that's the cultural zeitgeist I grew up in, but: I feel like many of us can agree that, unless you worked in a healthcare setting, what was "normal" (in America) before 2020 when it came to airborne illness prevention was definitely not the regular use of a mask. American health education mainly taught us if we're coughing & sneezing to try to do so in a tissue or into your elbow, as well as frequently wash our hands. That doesn't account for the way air actually works though. For instance, if someone with the common cold coughed into the inside of their elbow, the particles they coughed out are still able to linger in the air because their elbow isn't creating a tight seal around their mouth (their elbow may have caught the droplets from their cough— which are bigger & heavier— but the smaller, lighter aerosols would just spread around similar to how smoke does); it's the difference between 😪 vs 😶‍🌫️. The only sure way for the germs they've coughed out to be blocked from spreading to other people is if they wear a well-fitted, quality mask/respirator.

I feel like health education from a young age should include the benefits of masking; that way it would be easier to adapt to the need to put on a mask to protect ourselves & others as a collective. It would be phenomenal & wonderful if we as a collective were used to masking the same way we're used to putting on socks before putting on our shoes.

4. "Immunocompromised people have always and will always exist"

Yes, that is true. And that means necessary measures taken to protect them, as well as other vulnerable people, should be the standard.

5. "[Covid] can't be the only airborne disease out there"

Of course not. There's plenty of them. However, not all airborne diseases are the same, nor should they be treated as such. What's been observed in regards to the long-term effects of covid is not at all the same with other airborne diseases. Covid is a highly contagious virus that is more than just a respiratory disease. Its goal is to attack your immune system, nervous system, heart, brain, and/or other vital organs. That's what viruses do. They act smart and sneaky, and they have the capability to trigger illnesses in your body that you may not have had pre-infection:

Chickenpox is known to lead to shingles

Epstein-Barr is known to lead to mono

HPV is known to lead to cancer

Covid-19 has been found to lead to:

POTS

ME/CFS

Stroke & Heart attack

Alzheimer's

Dementia

"Brain Fog"; Memory & Concentration Problems

The list goes on, and these are only what we know of. Covid may not be the only airborne disease, but it definitely is a dangerous one with serious, long-term negative effects.

6. "Do you feel that we should all be masking all the time, whether or not covid-19 exists?"

In regards to masking with the existence of covid:

Yes. Masking is a vital method in the prevention of catching & spreading covid-19, because it is primarily spread through the air.

In regards to masking without the existence of covid:

See my answer for number 3, and also: given the fact wearing a mask can only do more good than harm for most folks, I don't see why not. Imagine a world where we don't have to worry about flu season or allergy season anymore because those aerosols are filtered out from consistent mask wearing. Sounds like the dream to me lol.

-

I hope this made sense! If anyone has anything they'd like to add to answer anon's questions, please feel free to share!

Thank you for reading 😷

[euphoricimagination]

Summary: After the match against the U-20 you are given 2 weeks of freedom, with your decision taken, you use this time to tell the truth to as many as you can and spend time with the people you grew to love

Part 11 - Part 12 [Final] -> Masterlist

"So this is where you live, quite big for living alone" you say walking around Nagi's place, you could see the last drops of light from the sunset entering through the windows,

After the match you were given 2 weeks off where you could finally go outside. You were planning to go back to Hyogo, but the guys had planned to do a reunion outside of the project to finally see each other in another ambience. You weren't planning on going, since Hyogo was far away from Tokyo and you didn't want to spend half a day just getting there, but Nagi told you you could stay with him for a day or two.

Now, your relationship with Nagi has been quite different since that kiss. He hasn't asked you out, therefore you weren't technically together, but he's definitely much clingier with you; you didn't mind this, though, it was too soon to actually date each other.

"Yeah, my parents chose it" he says, passing his arms through your shoulders "it's nice, and it's close to a lot of things"

"I noticed, i think i saw an arcade coming here"

"Yeah, there's many actually" he says, kissing your shoulder before moving to his bed, starting a game on his phone. You took some of your clothes out, putting them on top of a dresser he had, you feel uneasiness in your stomach for tomorrow's reactions

"Are you telling them tomorrow?" Nagi asks, you didn't know if he noticed your discomfort or if he knew you that good already

"Yeah, I'm telling them everything. They deserve to know"

"I don't get why though, why does it matter so much?"

"Not everyone is so unbothered like you are Sei" you chuckle, sitting on the bed

"But the princess didn't care either, so why are you so nervous?" He asks once again "agh, i died"

"Chigiri…he's different, it's nerve-wracking telling everyone that what they thought was a lie" you say, your feet tapping the floor nervously. Suddenly Nagi's hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to the window in where the stars were starting to appear

"It'll be fine, don't worry too much about it" he pets your head "By the way, that's Choki, he helps me wake up"

"Don't tell me you purposely touch it to wake up" you chuckle

"I won't tell you then" you both stay like this for a few minutes, you watching the view while Nagi lazily lays his head on your shoulder "...are you sure about leaving Blue Lock?"

"Yeah, i already thought about it, it's the best for me and everyone"

"Then I'll allow it" he presses his head closer in your neck

"I don't need your permission" you chuckle "I'm gonna go to arrange the couch"

"The couch? Why?"

"Where else am I going to sleep?"

"You're not sleeping in the couch" you feel him frown, pulling you down into the bed with him as he puts himself on top of you, laying his head on your chest "you're comfy"

"Thanks" you chuckle, playing with his hair "we should order some food, it's pretty late already"

"What a paiin" he whines, getting his phone anyway.

++

You woke up pretty late, around 10 am, with a pair of arms tightly holding in place and warmth feeling warmth breath in the back of your neck. After eating dinner yesterday Nagi decided to cuddle with you while he plays on one of his consoles, you sitting in between his legs as his hands were right in front of both of you; and once you both got tired, he simply laid you down on your side and proceeded to fall asleep.

"Oi, giant baby" you poke his side, making him groan "you're phone just rang"

"What a pain. Who is it?"

"Isagi, we have to meet them, remember?"

"...Right, ugh, don't wanna" he says, answering his messages before stretching out

You get up from the bed and go to the bathroom to get ready, it was late already, so you went to get ready first assuming Nagi will take forever to do something. Once you leave the bathroom Nagi was already sitting, waiting to use it

"You look pretty" he says to you "it's weird seeing you with a skirt, thought"

"This is the first time you see me with outside clothes, of course it's gonna be weird"

"Well yeah, but i like it either way" he kisses your head while going to the bathroom and getting ready. Once done, him wearing an oversized white hoodie and sweatpants, you both go out "hey, let's go that arcade"

"But we have to meet the guys.."

"They can wait, let's go" he takes your hand, dragging you towards the arcade

You decided to give in, after all it was a vacation, you could enjoy things freely for now. At some point you started playing different games, you were stuck in a claw machine while he was playing Street Fighter since he wanted his online record to go up again. After you got another figurine from one of the machines, you heard a big commotion coming from where Nagi was, noticing a bunch of Blue Lock members.

You started to feel nervous, but at this point there was nothing you could do, so you started walking towards them.

"Hey Sei, i got the figurines" you say, instantly getting intimidated by the fact all eyes went to you, looking at you up and down. Chigiri eyes looked at you amused, crossing his arms as he winks at you

"Oya? Did we interrupt a date, Nagi-chin?" Karasu asks with a cheeky grin. Reo was looking at you confused, almost as if he could recognize you

"How did you score such a hottie? You, out of all people" Otoya adds "hi there cutie"

"But didn't you know we had a reunion? Why did you plan it for today?" Asks Yukimiya

"Maybe she's a classmate?" Asks Bachira

"Nah, I've never seen her at our school" adds Reo

"Eh?" Confused faces appear

"Ok, why don't we let her introduce herself so we can know?" Chigiri says, giving you an encouraging look

"Well first…" you go to sit next to Nagi, your heart beating fast "hi again guys"

"I'm Yn…i was your teammate" you say, even more confusion arises

"Yn…Yn-kun? Is that you?" Isagi asks, making you nod "you were a girl all this time?"

"Yep"

"There's no way…how were you able to play in the match against the U-20 while being a girl?" Otoya asks, Chigiri raising his eyebrow annoyed at the comment

"Well, she's just amazing, isn't she?" Chigiri comes closer to ruffle your hair, you trying to stop him

"So you knew, Chigiri? And you Nagi?"

"Yeah" simply shrugs Nagi, as he keeps playing

"Nagi untied my binder and almost saw my chest, then i told Chigiri cause i felt bad about lying to him" you explain, some heads nodding "Ego ask me to join to help Team Z bloom and give him information, i was only supposed to be until the first round, but i proved to be too good to just…leave the project…sorry for lying to y'all"

"It's alright, it doesn't change much to me, especially if Ego knew" Yukimiya says, smiling to you as he extends his hand "it's nice finally meeting you Yn-chan, you're very pretty"

"Thanks" you shake his hand, smiling at him

"Well, that explains why Nagi suddenly started to act like this with you, nice meeting you Yn-chan, take good care of that idiot for me" Reo says nudging your shoulder with a grin, making you roll your eyes

"It doesn't change much for me either! I like you because of you, not your gender!" Bachira passes his arm through your shoulder, hugging you tightly

"Me too, plus you're a good player" Isagi adds, smiling at you like everyone else "but…why are you telling us now? You could have continued like it was, couldn't you?"

"Well, yeah…but I already reached a conclusion. I'm leaving Blue Lock" you confessed, some eyes widen

"What!? Why? You're soo good to just leave!" Retorts Isagi

"Well, I can't tell you exactly what's coming for the project, but it's supposed to help you out for your futures in a more direct way, and I can't have that. I can't be on a professional team because I'm a girl, and I can't play professionally on a woman's team because I'm too used to playing with dudes, so I'm gonna leave the project"

"Well, it makes sense, now that we won against the U-20 there's probably gonna be a lot more professional teams looking at us, you won't be able to hide this type of things to them" adds Karasu, making you nod

"Anyways! Let's enjoy this free day even more then! Since we won't have Yn-chan with us after this" Bachira stands up, grabbing your hand while taking you with him to the claw machines you previously were in

You end up with a lot of prices given to you after some of the guys won in them; then you move to the darts, where Nagi was forced to "accept his punishment" by being in the front of the darts board while you were losing in a battle with Yukimiya; then you move to pool, where Aryu showed his stylish moves; and then to ping pong, where you took turns to play into teams.

"How about karaoke?" Reo asks, his arms on your shoulders as you guys walk

"Let's go"

"We can hear you sing, darling, that'll be interesting" Reo adds, petting your hair

"Shut it, elite, who says I'm singing" you hit his stomach, making him laugh. In that moment you all noticed some girls coming out of a room angry, Aiku being the reason. You didn't know if you wanted to tell him who you were or not, so you stayed quiet while they exchange some words

"Oh? Who's this girl? Of course you would have a girl already, Mikage-kun, but bringing her with you while hanging out with the boys?" Aiku tells him, you exchange a look with Reo, shaking your head slightly

"She's a friend of mine, she happened to be here today too, so she joined us" he says skillfully, understanding your signs as he takes his arm off

"I see…well then, may I know your name, pretty girl?" Aiku says to you, making you scrunch your face. It wasn't that he was ugly, he sure wasn't, but it still made you awkward

"Yn, nice to meet you" you say shortly

"Pretty name for a pretty lady, want to join me?" Aiku winks at you at the same time you feel a pair of hands sneaking on your waist, pulling you back until your back touched a chest and a chin rest on your head

"We fighting?" Nagi says, beside you were also Yukimiya, Karasu, Otoya and Aryu, all saying some type of comments while the door of the U-20 team opens and reveals the whole team there.

"You okay, pretty?" Nagi whispers at you

"Yeah, just didn't know how to react" you say, taking his hand

They decided to bet dinner with a bowling match, in which you find Barou playing by himself, who ends up joining the match since you weren't playing; after all you decided to not tell them about it. You were waiting for Chigiri to play when Barou sits next to you, looking at you inquisitive

"Oi, you are Yn-kun, aren't you?" He asks you

"Eh?"

"Don't play dumb, you are at Blue Lock with us, only a fool wouldn't be able to tell, even though you have make up on today" he says

"Yeah, that's me" you say, high fiving Chigiri when he does a strike

"So, do you swing to the other side or…"

"I'm a girl, but I'm also leaving Blue Lock now" he nods at the information

"You were good, you scrub, well played" he adds, ending the conversation right there

Nagi does a strike after falling down, which ends up with all of you calling the game off since it was getting late. All of the guys say their goodbyes to you, Bachira and Chigiri hugging the longest, leaving you with only Nagi and Reo left

"So, I'm assuming you're staying the night with Nagi again? It's too late for you to leave to Hyogo now" Reo asks

"Yeah, I don't know if leave in two or three days"

"You can stay with me as long as you want, just saying" Nagi adds, petting your hair

"Yeah, you should stay until our vacation is over, since we won't see you in Blue Lock after this we can enjoy time together and you get to enjoy Tokyo more!" Reo says excitedly

"I still haven't got paid by Ego, so i don't have much money" you answer, you were going to get paid for your work after the two weeks were over

"Don't worry about it, I'll cover you" Reo winks at you "besides, if you need money for anything let me know and I'll give it to you"

"What are you? A sugar daddy or something? Do rich people have the need to spend money?" You raise an eyebrow

"Nah, i just don't mind spoiling my treasure's girl, i can afford it after all" he adds

"I mean…if you insist, I'm not denying that offer" you shrugged, making him laugh

"Alright, let's hang out again, bye!" Reo says when you arrived to Nagi's place, his attendant waiting for him in a limousine in front of his place

"Bye"

"See ya!" Both you and Nagi say, entering his place

You took all your makeup off and put on comfortable clothes, which means you were wearing one of Nagi's hoodies since they basically reach your knee. You got out of the bathroom only to find Nagi laying down on his stomach while playing a game, so you go and lay on top of him to watch him

"...you really can stay here as long as you want, by the way" he interrupts the comfortable silence you were in

"I know, but i do also need to go back to Hyogo soon, i have to go back to classes" you say, your head laying on his back

"Classes are such a pain" he whines "can't you just transfer here? I'll ask Reo to help you out"

"Isn't your school one of the best in the country? I doubt that nepotism can just help me enter"

"You'd be surprised" he says

"Even if i transfer I'll have to wait until next year, besides, we don't know where you'll be next year, maybe Blue Lock gets you an offer in an international club and you'll have to transfer there"

"True, that'd be cool" he pauses, moving both of you with ease until you are laying down in the bed with his head on your chest "then I'll tell them to include you too"

"Eh? Why?" You ask

"I like having you around, i like you" he simply states, as if it was the most normal thing to say, as if it was such a simple thing, as if it didn't make your heart flutter "and you like being around me too, so it's a win win"

"Who says I like being around you that much?" You ask

"Your heart beats and your blushed face speak for themselves" he looks at you, slight smirking on

"Shut up" you hit his head

You spent the rest of these two weeks like this, sometimes you hung out with Reo in his penthouse, sometimes you went to the arcade with Nagi, you even got to meet Chigiri's family and stayed with them for a few days after explaining the whole situation. Now two weeks later, you arrived at the place where they were picking the guys up with Nagi and Reo, since apparently a huge crowd of paparazzi were waiting at the entrance of the project.

"This kinda bring back memories" you say

"It does, we didn't even knew each other back then, who knew we would be friends now" Reo says, ruffling your hair "by the way, i already told Baya-san to pick you up later so she can take you to your house"

"You shouldn't have, it's like 5 hours driving" you say

"She insisted too"

"I don't bel-"

"Ynnnn-chaaan!" A scream interrupts you, soon a pair of arms wrap around you and shake you around "you came to say goodbye to us!"

"I did, I can't just let you forget about me, Bachira"

"I will never!" He hugs you tighter

"You're going to kill her if you keep squishing her" Chigiri takes you out of the embrace, pulling you into a side hug himself "you know, I'm sure you can still come with us, just change into a uniform and hope on"

"I can't, i already know what's waiting for you and it's not gonna be beneficial for anyone" you say, knowing well what the phase two of the project was

"But you want to" Chigiri grabs your shoulder, he was able to tell how wet your eyes were, how your hands were shaking slightly, he knew that you still wanted to be with them

"I do…we can't have it all, can we?" You say, making him hug you harder "don't forget about me when you become a famous pro player, you better maintain me once you have money"

"You already have people ready to maintain you, but if it doesn't work out with him or his best friend, I'll think about it" he jokes back, kissing your temple affectionately "see you after I'll become the best in the world, little one"

"See ya" you chuckle, saying some quick goodbyes to some of the ones that enter the bus when a pair of arms wrap around your waist, a pair of arms that were already used to do this

"I'll see you after this, okay?" Nagi says, pulling you closer

"Of course, I'll make sure to watch you, so keep doing your best"

"Watch me? How?"

"You'll find out soon, just do your best and play amazingly like you always do" you say turning around, fluffing his hair

"I will. See you" he bends down, giving you a quick kiss in the lips

"See you"

You watch him enter the bus as it closes the door right behind him, being the last member to enter. Some of them scream their goodbyes to you while the bus leaves, so you wave back at them until you are sure they can't see you clearly, finally letting the tears roll down your face. You wanted to go with them, you wanted to keep playing with them, you wanted to be on the project, but since Blue Lock was turning into a reality TV for scouting, not only you wouldn't be able to keep up the secret but you also won't be able to join any team, it would do nothing more than waste your time. At least that's what you told yourself to feel better about this.

"Hello" Anri appears beside you, looking at you carefully "Ego-san told me to give you this"

She gives you a package, inside was the same uniform the guys were given before leaving, the same custom size you had for the first phase

"He thought you'd miss them, and since you're technically still part of Blue Lock until a few more minutes, we managed to get you one too. It won't make you less sad, but it's the best we can do to help you"

"Thanks" you hug it, smiling through the tears to Anri, who gives you a hug before walking away.

You'll miss them, of course you'll miss those idiots, but you'll see them again once they're on the top, you know you will.

-The end-

Taglist: @suyaaachin - @anurst - @celestair - @futuristicxie - @miyanaranagikenmal-intp - @kaldurahms-lover

[fagtainsparklez]

cellbit's books to the ones he cares for: translations

forever

page 1: forever, i don't even know how you must be thinking of me now. if everything has gone to plan, things must have been so weird that you've already started to suspect my infiltration plans. i believe that you're very intelligent.

page 2: the past few days have been a torture greater than i could ever imagine. what the census bureau did to me with that chainsaw couldn't compare to the pain to having to fight and lie every day to the people closest to me. feeling the deception hurts.

page 3: but it was the only way. the initial plan as to surprise you and the census bureau during the trial, but the vivo meme gave me the perfect opportunity to make a scene and make it look like i had some sort of motive to argue.

page 4: the census bureau doesn't understand feelings and wants too well, so this would be sufficient for it to believe my motives. it worked. i've never been so alone, but seeing you take up leadership and fighting so ferociously left me-

page 5: proud. everything is so much more difficult than i thought, but this was the only way for us to get any type of real information. after all this effort, all this fighting, all these enigmas, we still haven't found ANYTHING out about the federation. nothing.

page 6: i hope to be able to be there with you to explain this in person, but if you're reading this book, something probably went wrong. i was made to do things that i never would've done, and made to say things i never would've said.

page 7: and even trying to be apparent about my lies, even trying to make you guys suspect me, in the end, my plan . . . still went bad. and i know that probably no one on this island would trust me again. i burned all my bridges. but it was the only way.

page 8: i left a book to richarlyson in the beginning of it all, i didn't want him to have his heart broken, and maybe that was my biggest failure. but i was willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING to get this egg off this island. everything. and that's what i did.

page 9: tell bad i'm sorry for the things i said about dapper, to max about sofia, and to the french for the suspicion. i'm sorry for what i did to your XP farm, i know how long you and richas worked on it and every spawner that i broke was a-

page 10: stab to my heart. honestly, i think that they were already going to break it because it was SUPER broken [op] . . . but they made ME break it . . . to test if i was really willing to do anything for the federation.

page 11: tomorrow is the day that i'll officially become a part of the federation. it's my "initiation process". we'll finally going to have new information. i'm VERY anxious . . . and nervous.

page 12: i did all of this for richarlyson. i did all of this for felps. i did all of this for the ordem. i did all of this for you guys. i hope that it'll have been worth it.

page 13: explain to bad, to max and to quackity. and tell foolish that he's a gem of a person. sofia's new password is "Regret". and if those federation sons of bitches make the error of letting me live . . .

page 14: i will come back. keep your eyes open, forever.

tazercraft

page 1: gentlemen, i know that our past isn't the best one. i know that you guys must believe that i've turned into that monster again. but that man is no longer me. cell died on that island. i'm not him.

page 2: i missed you two dearly, and wanted to be able to play more rounds of hide-and-seek, and trying to organize an EGG GYMKHANA with you guys in chume labs. i'm sorry for not having been able to. i love you both, and you're amazing parents for richas, too.

page 3: he loves spending time with you both, even if the two of you are stupid*, i think that no one enternains him more than tazer and craft. at least i won't have to take the red wool again.

*used endearingly

page 4: take care of yourselves, guys. and explode this census bureau bitch. yuo guys already took down herobrine, this shitty bear is nothing.

richarlyson

page 1: richas, i tried my best. i'm sorry, son. i just wanted to get you away from this island. this place isn't safe, and the federation won't let us leave here. when i arrived in this place, i never-

page 2: thought that i would have to take care of someone . . . but what you've become was so much bigger than this. i'm sorry for not being able to be there all the time. every neuron that i burned with those cursed enigmas, all those hours that i spend locked up in that office . . .

page 3: it was all for you, richarlyson.

page 4: continue to trust in your daddies forever, pac, and mike . . . and if in any way i've managed to bring him back, in daddy felps, too. nevertheless, your dad quackity really toes love you and wants to protect you. i suspected him at the start, but i've heard the truth in your voice.

page 5: if i'm no longer here . . . daddy quackity now has my 20%, okay? i'm sorry if i've ever made you feel alone in any way. remember when i told you of a moment in my life that i felt completely alone?

page 6: solitude is worse than any prison. worse than what i went through with daddies pac and mike, and worse than this island. i'm sorry for having you suffer this, too. it's my biggest regret.

page 7: i love you, you big-headed* egg. see if you can learn to catch something that's not crabs. immortalyson forever.

*term of endearment, tends to equate to "stubbornly stupid"

bonus:

the book cellbit gave to richarlyson before being attacked by the codes

page 1: i need for[the federation] to trust me. it's the only way. i love you. i love dad forever. i need that [the players] believe the contrary. it's going to hurt, and i'm going to do terrible things. but i will-

page 2: destroy [the federation] from the inside. all of them.

additionally, he left a book for roier, however forever did not open it/read it out to respect their privacy. cellbit titled it "guapito"

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

So, this isn't my first fanfic, but it's one I've been working on for over four months now. It is the first one I'm sharing with more than just my family though, something I've never done before. It does have 28 chapters so far, and it isn't finished yet. I'm always up for suggestions and constructive feedback, either in comments or DMs.

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine.

Word Count: 4054

Warnings: Trauma - Family Death, First meetings, childhood rivalry

-----------------------------------------

Chapter 1 - In The Beginning

She woke up screaming in the passenger seat of her dad's truck, it was dark, and her father was driving them to her Uncle's. The nightmare was still clinging to her vision. 

“You okay, munchkin?” her father asked.

“Yeah, Daddy, just a nightmare,” she answered, trying to catch her breath. 

Her mother had just been killed by a yellow-eyed demon in their home and now, they were just trying to get somewhere safe to deal with the grief. 

Maria was five, her parents were hunters, and her mother was dead due to the demon that had been after Maria. She had deep, dark blue eyes and jet-black hair that went down to the middle of her back, the birth signifiers of the Winter lineage. Her father was a Men of Letters, she was a Legacy, even if she didn't fully understand what that meant yet. She was also something else. She'd heard her father on the phone once, talking to Bobby, and the word Nephilim had been said, although she was too young to know what that meant.

There was silence for a while on the drive, as she didn't want to have nightmares again, “Do you think mamma went to heaven?” she asked her father quietly, curiously. 

He sighed, “I hope so munchkin.”

His words didn't help her feel better, but even with being five, she understood that there was no guarantee where her mother had ended up. She stayed awake for another hour before sleep retook her; this time, there were no nightmares.

Bobby had been up for hours, setting up the guest room the best he could for her after William had called him explaining what happened. He was on his fifth drink when he heard Williams's truck pull up in front, it now being three in the morning. William carried her inside as Bobby held the door open.

“Guest room is all set up,” Bobby sighed as he closed the door.

William nodded as he carried her there, tucking her in under the covers, and then kissed her on the forehead. He then closed the door behind him and joined Bobby in the living room, sitting on the couch. 

Bobby handed him a drink, “You're going after it, aren't you?”

William sighed, “Wouldn't you?”

“You should talk to John, he's after the same demon, might have some information that could help,” Bobby offered.

William sighed before downing his drink, “I haven't talked to him in a couple years now.”

“You're hunting the same thing, Will,” he replied, glancing towards the hallway to where Maria was sleeping, “How's she doing?”

“About how you'd expect,” William replied, “Can you keep up her training and education for while I'm gone? It'll be at least a couple weeks.”

“Yeah,” Bobby sighed.

William only stayed for another ten minutes before he headed out. Bobby felt bad for both of them and he hid his grief for the loss of Alarra, Maria's mother, and William's wife. Hell, Bobby had introduced Will to his sister, Alarra, so many years ago. He didn't go back to sleep that morning after Will had left. Instead, he read over the journal that Will had left for him. It contained Maria's training and education, as well as an outline of what Will and Alarra had wanted to teach her and when. Bobby sighed as he read through it, especially when he noticed the entry from a week before where her powers had begun to manifest. There were only a select few who knew what Maria was, Bobby, John, and Ellen being the main three since Ellen and Alarra had been like sisters. 

Maria woke up a few hours later, still in her clothes from the night before, finding Bobby sitting at his desk reading a book.

“Hi…” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

“Mornin kid, how you doing?” he asked, looking up from his book.

She sat down on the couch, staring at the floor, and shrugged her shoulders, “Mom's gone…. It's weird, knowing that…” she replied, feeling disconnected from everything at the moment. 

“You want some breakfast?” he asked, not wanting to push her if she didn't want to talk about it.

“Did Dad leave my bag?” she asked, ignoring his question. 

Bobby sighed, even at five she seemed stubborn, but also needing routine, “Yeah. It's on the kitchen table.”

“Thank you,” she replied before getting up.

Her parents had gotten her into a routine and she was well-behaved for being five. She grabbed the bag off the table and went back to her room, closing the door behind her. She did her few morning stretches and exercises, as her parents had taught her, and even went over the movements with the silver knife her parents had given her. Maria pulled out a fresh pair of clothes and changed, putting her dirty clothes in a bag before stuffing that bag into her duffle. Then she proceeded to brush her hair, fighting with the memories of her mother teaching her how a year ago. She then slipped on the headband before cleaning her brush and putting it away. After a deep breath, she slipped her shoes back on before heading into the kitchen. Bobby was already there, making her some eggs and toast, with some bacon on the side. She sat down at the table and waited patiently, just watching him cook. She'd met her Uncle before and both her parents had spoken highly of him. She wished that this meeting was under better circumstances. 

“Thank you, Uncle Bobby,” she told him kindly.

“You're welcome, kid,” he replied, then sighed.

He wasn't sure if it was the fact that she was a girl, a Nephilim, or how Will and Alarra had raised her as to how well-behaved she was. He'd figured she'd be emotionally broken after losing her mother the day before, but for now, she seemed numb to everything, at least to him. He finished her breakfast and set it in front of her before heading back to his desk, needing to do some research for a friend who'd called him two days prior. She ate her breakfast in silence. The eggs were plain, as Bobby hadn't seasoned them with anything, and the toast was close to being burnt, but she didn't say a word about it, being grateful for a home-cooked meal and not something from a gas station. She thought about how she could talk to him about it since she had a feeling her father hadn't said anything. When she was done eating she scooted the chair over to the sink and washed her dishes, then cleaned up. Maria went and brushed her teeth before joining Bobby in the living room.

“Thank you for breakfast, Uncle Bobby. What was the lesson on Dad's list for today?” she asked him, not ready to give in to the grief she was still pushing away.

He sighed before he sat back in his chair, “Demonology and then practicing cursive.” 

“Will you be quizzing me after?” she asked.

“Well, I agreed to this, so yeah, I'll quiz you after,” he replied.

“Thank you again, Uncle Bobby,” she replied, getting up to retrieve the book from her bag, along with her cursive journal, which she had just begun a few days prior.

She seated herself at the kitchen table, setting her journal to her right with the Demonology book opened in front of her on the table. She read for two hours before she worked for thirty minutes on her cursive. Afterward, handing the book and journal to Bobby, and then sat down on the couch. He nodded his head while he looked over her cursive and almost couldn't believe she was only five, then had to remind himself that she was also a Nephilim or something close to that. He looked over what she had read and quizzed her on it. Even when he deliberately tried to trip her up, she was respectful when she corrected him and then gave him the right answer, which he couldn't help but smile proudly at her.

She took her books back to her room, putting them away before she practiced the moves her father had taught her, helping to increase her muscle memory. She also added to it a bit with the moves her father had recently shown her. Maria still didn't want to stop though, not wanting that pause to where her memories might begin to replay in her mind. She didn't want to see it, to hear the screams, feel the pain of her loss. She slipped out of her room and grabbed the closest book she could without her Uncle seeing her as he was focused on his own research. She sat on her bed and read, for what felt like hours before there was a knock on her door. She slipped the book under her pillow before he opened the door.

“Lunchtime kid,” Bobby told her as he opened her door, “There's a sandwich on the table. After lunch, we're gonna take a trip for some food for while you're here.”

“Okay Uncle Bobby, and thank you,” she replied, following him out of her room. 

Maria ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, not happy that it was strawberry, but ate it anyway. She cleaned her dishes before grabbing her jacket and following her Uncle out to his car. Halfway through the ride, she finally broke the silence. 

“So, do you have a list?” she asked, looking over at him.

“It's in my head,” he told her.

She wasn't quite sure what to say or how to ask about what he was getting without sounding rude or intrusive so she just looked out the windshield. Bobby wasn't entirely sure how to interact with her as he never had kids of his own. He parked near the front of the store and the two of them got out of the car. She walked over to him as he came around the tail end of the car, reaching out to hold his hand. It startled him, but he just smiled down at her. She let go of his hand when they reached the front of the store as he grabbed a cart. As they walked through the store, she watched him put things in the cart, making a mental note of the items. 

“Uncle Bobby, would it be okay to get some grape jam?” she asked, curiously. 

He thought for a moment and glanced at the items he'd already had, “Sure. Is there anything else specific you'd like?” he asked her.

He figured asking might help her be able to be more comfortable while she was staying with him. She smiled up at him and made sure to only ask for things she knew she was allowed to have, knowing her father would ask her about everything when he returned. When they made it to the checkout and loaded everything on the counter he glanced at the candy bars.

“Would you like something sweet? You did really good today,” he told her with a soft smile.

For a moment, his words surprised her, as she didn't realize there was another way to behave when in public, but looked over at the candy, “This one, I guess,” she replied, handing him a Reese's package that contained two of the chocolate and peanut butter cups.

Bobby smiled down at her as he put the candy with the other items but asked the cashier to leave it out, as he wanted her to be able to eat it in the car.

“Bobby? Bobby Singer? Is that you?” a female voice behind them asked, causing them both to turn around and look at her.

“Sheriff Mills. Good to see you, this is my niece, Maria,” he told her as the two shook hands.

Maria looked between the two of them for a moment before feeling comfortable enough to say anything, “Nice to meet you, ma'am.”

Her manners and respect surprised Jody, “Hi there. It's nice to meet you as well. How old are you?” she asked in a soft, kind tone.

“I'm five,” she replied.

“Well, you're a very sweet little girl for only being five,” she replied kindly to Maria.

Maria smiled a little but tuned out the rest of their conversation, not wanting to hear what might get brought up. She instead went over and helped put the groceries in the cart again once they were bagged, again, impressing Jody.

“Everything okay with Will and Alarra?” Jody asked Bobby.

He sighed, glanced at Maria, and then back at Jody, “Alarra was killed last night, in a bad accident. Will had to leave to deal with the legalities of everything,” he explained.

“That poor girl,” Jody whispered, watching her put another bag in the cart, “How long is she staying with you?”

“Should only be a couple weeks but you never know how long these things take,” Bobby answered. He had to keep the demon part out of the conversation. Jody didn’t know about any of that stuff, and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Well, I’m here, if you need any advice on anything,” she told him with a soft smile.

“Thanks, Sherrif. I might take you up on that,” he chuckled.

Bobby bid her goodbye, and the two went back to his house, eating the candy bar her Uncle had gotten her on the drive. When they got back, Maria helped bring in the groceries and put away what she could reach. He double-checked the schedule her father had left but she was already grabbing her books from her bag so she could work on the afternoon work.

The next two weeks were like this. She kept to her schedule, sneaking books from her Uncle's collection and making sure they got put back where she'd found them, her Uncle never the wiser. It was a Wednesday of the third week while she was sitting at the table, working on her cursive when she heard her father's truck pull up in the driveway, but she also heard another vehicle. She was supposed to sit there for another ten minutes but her curiosity and happiness got the better of her. She set down her pencil and headed outside, running over to her father who was halfway to the door, wrapping her arms around him.

“Daddy!” she exclaimed.

“Hey munchkin,” he said, smiling as he picked her up, spinning her around, making her laugh. 

He set her down, and she had to catch herself due to being a bit dizzy, but she was still laughing as an adult man, and two boys, one who looked older and one who looked younger than her, walked up. William took her hand and led her inside as she looked over her shoulder at the three of them for a moment, then turned around to watch where she was going. 

“Finish your cursive and we'll do introductions,” William told her before he went into the living room with Bobby, the three others following him. 

She did notice the two boys looking over at her as she sat back down at the table, picking up her pencil to do as her father had said. That ten minutes felt like forever to her. She hadn't felt like she didn't want to do her schooling before, not like she was now. When she did finish, she took a deep breath before grabbing her books and taking them to her Uncle, as he had been the one who'd been doing her schooling. He quizzed her on her reading as the others stayed silent, listening. He even tried tripping her up, to which she respectfully corrected him and gave him the right answers. He looked over her cursive and smiled at how she was progressing. She smiled happily and put her books away before returning to the living room.

“Maria, this is John Winchester and his boys, Dean and Sam,” William told her.

“It's nice to meet you, Sir,” she said to John, utterly respectful, “And you as well, Dean and Sam.”

John, as well as the boys, were impressed with her respect, “It's nice to meet you as well, Maria,” John told her with a proud smile, “Why don't the three of you go be kids outside for a bit, and keep an eye on Sam.”

She knew the adults wanted to talk about something that probably had to do with her mother, so she just nodded and headed outside, Dean and Sam following. Maria took note of how Dean took his younger brother's hand and walked at his pace, so she slowed down to walk at his pace. There was some awkward silence between Dean and Maria for a bit when she finally said something once they were further out in the scrap yard. 

“Are you learning how to hunt too?” she asked, nonchalantly. 

The question surprised Dean a bit, but he decided to act cool, “Yeah, what of it?”

“Just curious,” she replied, tilting her head slightly. 

Dean wasn't sure what to think for this girl. She wasn't like any other girl he'd met before, as she was the first hunter's daughter he'd met. Maria went over to Sam, who was three, and began playing with him, getting him to laugh, a lot, an infectious, playful laughter. All Dean could do was watch her and how she interacted with his younger brother, in a way he couldn't. He may have been seven, but something about this girl intrigued him. It was clear she was being trained to be a hunter; she was respectful, but she hadn't stopped finding ways to bring laughter to people, at least to his brother, even with what had happened to her mother only two and a half weeks prior. 

After a bit, Dean got an idea, “Hey, bet I could throw a rock further than you,” he said, a slightly competitive tone in his words. 

She looked over at him, raising an eyebrow from where she crouched in front of Sam, “Bet you I could not only throw further but also hit my target.”

Dean kept the confident expression, but he began second-guessing himself, seeing her confidence, “You're on.”

Dean picked a car that was around a hundred feet away and put an X on the side of the door. She smirked, “Your challenge, you go first,” she told him, turned to the side, gesturing to the car, still keeping her eye on Sam.

He swallowed, hard as he picked up a rock from the ground, testing its weight as he tossed it in the air a couple of times before he took aim and threw it at the car, hitting the far side of the X he'd drawn, which made him smirk. She just chuckled, then went and picked up the same rock he had used. When she got back to where he was standing, she noticed his puzzled look.

“Well, this way you can't blame it on the rock,” she told him with quite the sass and a smirk to match before she turned and chucked the rock, hitting the X dead center. She knew there were things she could say, but he father had taught her better than to gloat, “Maybe next time we see each other, we can do this again,” she smiled kindly.

Dean was practically speechless. There were too many things about this girl that surprised him, and being seven, all he could do was punch her in the shoulder, which only made her laugh a little before she went back to playing with Sam, leaving Dean to his thoughts. 

About an hour later, John came out and told them to come inside. Maria took Sam's hand and led him back into the house, Dean following behind them. John smiled seeing the sight, silently calling William and Bobby over to see it as well. The three men just smiled, watching the kids as they came back toward the house. Dean went over and held Sam's other hand and made Sam smile and giggle, causing both kids to smile down at him.

“Well, if anything happens to us, hopefully, they'll have each other,” William said.

“Those three are welcome here anytime,” Bobby said, having quite a soft spot for them after the time he'd gotten to spend with his niece.

John and his boys stayed for dinner, which Maria helped Bobby with. 

“At least they get along,” William told John, glancing at Dean who was sitting in a chair watching Bobby and Maria as they cooked.

“That’ll be a bonus,” John replied.

“Bobby suggested we team up since we’re both after the same thing,” William stated, sipping his beer.

“It’s not a bad idea,” he replied, “It would make things easier. Two heads are better than one.”

William chuckled, leaving out the monster joke, “Yeah. Plus it might give the kids some time to be kids,” he sighed.

“Did you have another lead, to head toward after here?” John asked, looking over at him.

“Yeah, two states over. We’ll get that demon, John. One way or another, we’ll track it down, for the kids’ sake at least,” William told him, sounding more confident than he felt.

“Dean,” John said, causing him to look over at him, “Will and I are gonna work together, so they’ll be coming with us. Behave yourself.”

Dean rolled his eyes and John gave him a look, which made him straighten up, “Yes sir,” he replied, quietly but quickly losing the attitude.

He wasn’t pleased about now having to share a motel room with a girl, especially her. Yeah, she was somewhat interesting but at the same time, she was still a girl and girls were annoying. Dean wanted to ask why she couldn’t just stay with Bobby. He wanted to complain but he knew better than to argue with his father once he’d decided something.

Bobby made burgers with Maria standing on a chair, learning, Dean watching her from the living room, which was not being done discreetly. Bobby let her flip the burgers when it was time, as well as put the cheese on them when they were ready. In another pan he had bacon going, explaining the different levels of crispness. She was completely fascinated and paying attention. 

“Dean, how do you like your bacon?” she asked, knowing he was watching her.

Dean got embarrassed, “Cooked?” 

The adults laughed at the interaction but Maria just shook her head a bit as she helped set the table when the food was done. William was proud of his daughter with her constant thirst for knowledge. The schedule he'd made out for her was more for her than for him, as he still wanted her to be a kid sometimes too, not just focus on learning everything she could and grow up too fast. He loved seeing how she interacted with Sam earlier that day.

“So, John and I are gonna team up for a while, since we're after the same thing. This will make things easier,” William explained to Maria.

“Okay Pappa,” she replied, looking up at him.

It didn't bother her. She had enjoyed spending time with Sam, although she found Dean slightly annoying. She wouldn't say that part to her father though, knowing that would be rude. It was clear to Maria that her father and John had spoken to Dean in the living room while she'd been helping her Uncle with dinner since he hadn't been addressed during dinner.

“Will my lessons continue like you had scheduled?” she asked her father after she finished her burger.

“Yes. And I'll check it when I am at the motel, so it will be a little different than it is now,” he told her.

“Okay, Pappa,” she replied.

Part of her was going to miss the quizzes after her reading, but she knew it happened sometimes, depending on whatever case her parents worked. Although now, her mother was gone. Something she still hadn't grieved for. She'd even managed to keep her nightmares at bay, reading one of Bobby's books before bed, which he still didn't know about and she was going to miss that. Once dinner was done, Maria helped with clean up, and John had Dean help as well, to which he didn't argue. 

--------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2

Link to the master list for this story.

[nodirectionhome-ao3]

WIP Tag

Thanks for the tag @kay-elle-cee, @alittlebitofeverything23, and @isahorcrux !!! This is such a fun one. :)

List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

Then tag 10 writer friends

Titles

Kindly Stopped for Me: Chapter 33. Lily lives AU, where Lily falls into a coma on Halloween 1981 and wakes up at the end of GoF. Lots of angst and family feels.

The Joker and The Queen: Chapter 3. A Jily fake-dating fic. Shenanigans abound. An "Idiots in Love" kind of story.

James Lives AU (Title TBA): Outline & Chapter 1. Basically a James version of Kindly Stopped for Me. James survives Halloween 1981 in a way that I will not spoil for you, and wakes up later on when Harry is a teenager.

Forever is the Sweetest Con: Short multi-chapter. Jily as con artists who fall in love while trying to con each other.

Fragile Little Flame: A post-war Hinny fic! Most likely a one-shot, but we'll see what happens.

(I’m not including the KSFM Missing Moments that I’m working on in this, since I don’t post them on AO3, but just know that I haven’t forgotten them!!!)

Upcoming Scenes, Events, Details

I've been making some minor changes to my outline for KSFM, so the exact numbers may change, but looking at it from a birds-eye view—Chapters 35 and 39 are two of the angstiest chapters in the entire fic😅 So...in preparation for that...I'm giving you all a slight break from the heaviness of this fic with chapters 33 and 34. I'm hoping it won't feel like a crazy tone switch after the previous two chapters, but I'm excited! Chapter 33 is a bit of a transition chapter (setting up some important things!) so maybe won't be the most exciting thing to read. But it will include Lily watching Harry in a Gryffindor Quidditch match for the first time and the gang celebrating Sirius’s 36th birthday!🎂🎂🎂 So hopefully you all will enjoy that!! And then Chapter 34 will be a Harry POV and will feature some good old-fashioned teenage romance drama😅

Chapter 3 of The Joker and The Queen has taken soooo long to write because it's something I sort of have to be in the right mindset for. (I still don't have a full outline for it because I posted the first chapter impulsively before I really thought about the plot very much lol) But I'm hoping it will be worth the wait!! The chapter will feature Lily meeting Fleamont and Euphemia (and possibly some Potter extended family members too) for the first time. I've never written James's parents before, so I'm excited!

Oh man, oh man. What can I say about the James lives au?? I'm currently drafting multiple vague outline ideas as I work through the timeline that I want it to take place in. But, despite what I've said previously, I'm finding myself starting to lean towards setting it in the OotP universe after all. (but no promises yet!) I'm staying kind of vague about the plot of this since it's still very much under consideration, but I'll just say that Peter's betrayal and its ramifications will be a major focus. The betrayal will happen slightly differently than it does in canon (as some of you have already guessed!), and I expect it to be devastating😈

Forever is the Sweetest Con is a fic that has been percolating in my brain for a WHILE now. I haven't officially outlined it yet, but I already made the banner so it's officially happening! It will be canon divergent, and I'm excited to explore the cat-and-mouse dynamic that I envision when I think about this one.

Fragile Little Flame is a fic inspired by Taylor Swift's "I Know Places" and is also one that I already have a banner and title for, but no outline. It'll be a post-war Hinny fic (I've been wanting to return to writing them!) and will take place in the 19 years between the end of DH and the epilogue. I haven't really thought about the plot in detail yet, but it probably won't be epilogue-compliant. Harry will (probably) be a Quidditch player rather than an Auror, and the fic will explore Harry and Ginny recovering from the war and rebuilding their relationship amongst the chaos of both grief and fame.

Apologies if you've already been tagged! But here's a no-pressure tag to: @suzyq31 @nena-96 @uncertainwallflower @turanga4 @takearisk-ao3 @annasghosts @practicecourts

[glitchy-witchy1994]

In this AU(Named "The living rose"), Grandma Rosiepuff did not die trying to save Branch.

She is still alive and well.

Clay decided to stay at the Troll tree instead of leaving.

The Burgens were eating Trolls since before Brozone started and that is the reason why Brozone's parents are missing. They got eaten a month after Branch was born.

If you have other questions about this AU feel free to ask!

Enjoy!

"See what happens when you don't follow my lead?" John Dory exclaimed as he entered their Grand Mother's pod, clearly furious about their first show being ruined.

Spruce, who was following the leader close, stopped and looked at John with an offended look. "Dude, that is exactly what happens when we follow your lead." He responded.

John turned to face Spruce. "Oh, so it's my fault? Is that what you're saying?" He asked, getting back to his own obsession to reach the perfect family harmony. "I know we can reach the perfect family harmony."

Spruce rolled his eyes and looked back at John. "What if we don't want to?"

"Yeah, dude." Clay added, as he made his presence known after entering the pod and hearing his two older brother arguing. "This used to be fun. Now it's all about being perfect." he added, looking at John with a sad expression, hoping John would see and realize his mistakes.

But instead, Spruce spoke up once more. "You know what? I'm done playing the heartthrob. My exquisitely chiseled rock-hard abs and I quit." He said as he ripped his puffed purple jacket.

Hearing this, Clay agreed and had enough as well. "I quit too, and you can keep these." He said as he ripped his funderdrawers and threw them at John's face. "I'm more than just the fun one. I'm in a sad book club, did you know that? A sad book club. I'm gonna find Trolls who take me seriously." he added, but before he could do anything else, John huffed.

"Fine. I don't need this. I'm out. I'm done. I'm sorry." The leader said as he turned away, grabbing his grappling hook and backpack. "I'm gonna go hike the Neverglade Trail by myself, bro-lone." He grunted as he pulled the trigger on his grappling hook out the window. "Yeah, that's right. Bro-bro going solo! Yolo! Goodbye forever." He added as he left out the window.

Spruce and Clay rolled their eyes. "Fine! I'm out of here." Clay said first, as they then heard John yell "Later, losers." from afar. "Same here" Spruce agreed, following Clay out the door. Leaving Floyd and Branch with their Grandma.

As Clay was walking away from their home, Spruce following close behind, he started to think about the situation. If John was gone, they could come back and live however they want! John won't be there to ruin everything anymore! John won't be there to stop them from doing the things they loved to do anymore! Best of all, John won't be there to always blame Clay for everything anymore either! And they could be with Branch instead of abandoning him! "Oh god, I was about to abandon Branch..." He though stopping dead in his track. Spruce passed by him, still angry about everything. Clay reached for Spruce's arm to make him stop and listen. "Spruce... maybe we should go back home." he said, his voice giving away the fact he was scared.

"What? Why would you do that?" Spruce said, somehow Clay's words were making him even angrier. "Do you really want to go back there? Things won't get better, it'll just be worst." He added, yanking his arm away from Clay's grip.

"N-no! John is gone, Spruce. He can't make things worst if he's gone! We can finally do the things we want to do!" Clay said, trying to convince Spruce, the brother he was closest to, to go back home with him.

Spruce slowly took a few steps back. "What I always wanted was to leave and live my life however I want, somewhere else." He said, turning away and leaving. He did not even look back when Clay tried to plead for him to turn back.

Clay was left alone at the base of the tree, wondering if he really should leave or stay. If he left, he could start his own sad book club, go to college, meet new people...

But on the other hand, if he stayed, Branch and Floyd wouldn't be alone... he could spend time with them and have the best time! But what was the point if his only best friend is gone..?

He thought for a long moment before making up his mind. He was going to stay! He turned back and went back to his Grandma's pod. As he entered, Floyd was gone and Rosiepuff had just gotten Branch to bed. "Where's Floyd?" Clay asked, as his Grandma make a sad face.

"He left too." She answered, going back to the table and finish her game by herself.

Clay sighed, went to his room to gather his things and left again. But this time, he found an empty pod close to his Grandma's pod to live on his own.

*****

As the years passed, Branch and Clay would spend a lot of time together and have the best time! Clay would help Branch become more vigilant and alert as to not get taken by Burgens, and Branch would tell his Grandma everything once he was back home. Branch loved having Clay around, but he missed the others a lot.

Clay was growing tall and his hair were slowly turning green, just like his skin was getting more green-ish blue. "He is starting to look like you, Rosalina!" Rosiepuff thought, as she remembered her daughter. She was tall, like Rosiepuff, had soft green-ish blue skin tone, magenta hair and blue eyes. She remembered how Rosalina would laugh at everything and was always full of joy. She was protective of her sons, sing them lullabies and be the best mom Rosiepuff knew she would become.

Grandma shook her head, now was not the time to cry. She needed to be strong for her two Grandsons.

One day, the King asked everyone to meet inside of the tree for a very important meeting with the entire tribe. There he explained, without the Burgens knowing, that they had dug up a tunnel that lead to their freedom and that he wanted everyone to be ready to leave early in the morning.

They were going to leave right before Trollstice would begin.

Without hesitations, all Trolls began building fake copies of themselves to trick the Burgens and they all packed their things.

The next morning, Trollstice began earlier than usual. Since the Burgen Prince never tasted a Trolls, the Burgens decided to celebrate early, which made the Trolls' escape difficult. Their escape was discovered and the Burgens started to dig and search for the Trolls...

In the tunnels, Branch had gotten separated from his Grandma through the chaos and was searching franctically for her or his brother. Rosiepuff had gotten out, but was forced to stay out when she tried to go back for her Grandsons. Branch panicked and was about to break down, but his arm got snatched by Clay who was running as fast as he could.

But the tunnel in front of them collapsed. Clay made a split second decision and threw Branch away in front right before the debris of the tunnel hit the ground. Branch was safe and made it out, but Clay was nowhere to be found...

Thinking they just had lost Clay, Branch turned grey as Rosiepuff tried to make him believe he might still be alive, but Branch had already lost hope...

****

Back in the tunnel, Clay groaned from pain as he got caught by the debris of the collapse. His legs were stuck under big rocks and he couldn't move. A few minutes passed by and he heard some noises. He opened his eyes and saw Princess Viva running to him with some other survivors.

They got him out and tried to find another way to escape, but they got cornered. That was then that Princess Viva, filled with sadness and regrets, fought back against the Burgens. Clay, with a broken leg, helped the rest of the survivors escape out of Burgen town through the streets.

Making sure they weren't spotted by other Burgens, Clay successfully brought everyone to safety, with Viva following soon after.

"Is everyone alright?" Viva asked, then looked at Clay after everyone else nodded. "What about you? What's your name? You look familiar!" She asked, looking at Clay up and down.

"I'm fine. My name is Clay." He responded.

"Nice to meet you! My name's Viva, but you probably already knew that! I saw how you helped everyone escape while I was fighting those meanies off." She said, thinking for a moment and then looked back at Clay. "Would you accept to help me lead them to a new home?" She asked.

"It would be my pleasure!" He responded, with a small smile.

She smiled back and they took off to find a new home. After a few hours, Viva found an old abandoned Golf course and decided to turn it into a new Troll utopia.

Once everyone was settled, Viva went to see her new friend. "Hey! How's your leg?" She asked as she sat down beside him on a bench.

"Still hurts, but it should be fine!" Clay answered. "How are you?" He asked, knowing what she had just lost the very same day. And since no one was around, she finally broke down.

She cried for hours, with Clay comforting her as best as he could. While she cried, he couldn't stop thinking about Branch. Was he safe? Did he make it out? Was Grandma gone? He had no answers to these questions, but deep down, he hoped they were okay.

Once Viva calmed down, she looked at him with a serious expression. "Will you lead these survivors with me?" She asked, looking away now with a sad expression. "I-I can't lead them on my own..."

"Of course! I'll help you out!" He replied with a smile.

Viva smiled back as she heard his response, she looked back at him again. "Pinky promise you won't leave me too?" She asked, lifting her closed fist up with only her pinky out.

Clay took her pinky in his, as he answered: "I pinky promise!"

[hallowsden]

@f4nd0m-fun here

So, I was on the ship Wiki, and I'm wondering what your Crane ships are?

I stumbled on Scriddler and TwoCrow, and I couldn't help but peek at TwoRiddle, so now I'm thinking about TwoScriddler, and oh no.

I barely know these chars and yet here I am.

Now combine this with John barely speaking with his fam and... you got Danny showing up on his doorstep one day, and Crane may have forgot to tell his buds about it, and you've got a small mess.

Personally, if I had to ship Harvey with someone, it's Gilda or Bruce (or both) (Unless it's Batman Forever version, then definitely TwoRiddle cause HAVE YOU SEEN THEM!?)

But honestly? This made me thinking... (Long ass rant ahead that may or may not make sense. This is written while being sleep deprived)

Jonny boy here ain't the only one who suffered abuse as a child. Both Harvey and Edward have as well. They both have Daddy Issues while Jonathan, depending on how you interpret him or which backstory you use, have granny issues + religious trauma or also Daddy Issues.

That being said, Harvey gives me the "this family ends with me" vibes, especially after he became Two-Face, and may be put off with Danny's presence for a while. He doesn't want to continue the cycle and become his dad. He'd likely would have liked, at the very least, to have been informed about the new addition to their family so he can... Prepare essentially/get used to the idea/plan how to avoid Danny. He's... For the lack of better words, cautious/careful around Danny, as to not accidentally trigger himself by accidentally hurting the kid. Does this make sense?

It'll take a while for Harvey to relax around Danny but for sure, he's gonna be very protective, if because he's Jonny's kid at first. He'll come to adore the kid and while not see him as a son but like... Oh, who's he and Harv kidding, that's his kid now and too hell with a coin, fuck with one of his then you'd get instant death penalty with him as the Executioner.

Harvey is gonna try and teach Danny law, specifically how to use loopholes against the system and evade arrests and such cause what else is gonna try to do to bond with Danny? Man's life had always revolved around law... Though... there are times where he'd go into this sort of story mode, recalling his experiences with Danny. He's soft and distant here but this is his way to fully open up, if that makes sense.

Harv, on the other hand? Teaching Danny how the criminal world works. Kid needs to learn how Gotham works. Can't have him die (er- turn fully ghosts? Yeah, he and Harvey don't understand Danny's halfa nature but they try and are supportive... They can't help but be reminded of themselves actually-) or Jonny's gonna be beyond pissed in a whole new level. Is actually rather strict, makes sure to put ground rules and boundaries with Danny compared to the rest of the parental unit that is Twoscriddler. Someone has to be the strict parent... How he and Harvey are considered the functional parent here is cause they actually practice self-care, well to an extent anyways, compared to his idiot lovers who would go days on end without eating, drinking, or sleeping, if the chance rises.

Harv, though rarely, would go into story mode as well to Danny, but in his perspective. There are many times he and Harvey hate each other but... They lived and went through the same life. Just differently. He mainly does this after something especially happened with Danny, like say, Danny nearly got shot...

Now, Edward on the other hand... Really depends on the version but in my opinion, he'd be indifferent with Danny at first, if a bit surprised. Jonny, with a kid? Now, isn't that interesting. Would definitely grow very fond of Danny very quickly, and if he learns that Danny's good with inventing and such, he is, for sure, gonna nurture those skills.

Eddie boy is gonna drag Danny to his workshop so they can bond over building shit. Also, VIDEO GAMES CAUSE YOU CAN NOT TELL ME OTHERWISE THAT EDDIE'S NOT A GAMER! Gets too competitive, too loud, just overall chaotic fun with Eddie also rambling about shit in the process. Just, the two are fucking gremlins and fueling each other's chaotic streak somehow cause while Eddie is an adult very full of himself, he acts too much like a child when he's relaxed and not trying to maintain his dignified image even though everyone has at least witness his childish streak at least once (this including his tantrums/meltdowns...)

The fun uncle/dad that managed to help Danny feel like a normal kid he wasn't able to be exactly due to living with mad scientists (who wanted to kill him later on even if they didn't know it was him). Eddie boy would also definitely help tutor Danny. Just that he may get impatient or teaches things too fast. Best that Jonny's there helping with tutoring so it's better paced and not going overboard.

But uh- yeah, it's gonna be a bit of mess when Harvey/Harv entered the shared apartment and see a random kid in there (who both resembles Jonny in some ways and also has the right coloration to be considered Wayne bait AND OH BOY-) huddled in blankets. Eddie would likely just walk past Danny, and after a few moments, walks backwards and stare at Danny, processing, before getting Jonny or Harvey, before trying to maybe interrogate? Depends if he slept or was hyperfocused on a project in his workshop.

[Also, @f4nd0m-fun, I swear, you've been fueling my need to create more Uncle Scarecrow content- DO YOU KNOW HOW HYPER AND EXCITED YOU MADE WHEN YOU @ ME!? Well, I think you're gonna see it when I do the reblogs... Just- XD, I'm having too much fun today/last night/lately (wtf is time anymore)]

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Come on, it's just a few questions...." Lisa asked her girlfriend of six months, Hannah. Both were trans and hit it off immediately at a party, although Lisa seemed a bit too into social media for Hannah's liking sometimes.....

"But in front of all your followers? This is super embarrassing."

"It's not ALL of them, dummy.... just ten thousand or so."

"That's not much better!"

"Please? Come on. I promise it'll be fun!"

"OK....." Hannah pouted, looking at Lisa. "Is this some online quiz thing?"

"It's gone a bit viral..... So, first question. You answer, then I will! If you were offered a million dollars to detransition, would you?"

"What!? Um.....!!! No--well, could I retransition?"

"You have to totally detrans, though. Get your boobs removed, go through male puberty all the way, facial hair, deep voice, everything! Soooo, would you?"

"Ummmmm..... n-no! I wouldn't!"

"Really? I would.... no hesitation."

"Oh? Well you can have fun being a boy then." Hannah laughed.

"Mmmm, question two. If your family sat you down and said they want you to detransition asap, that they decided you should live as a boy, would you?"

"Ummmm, I mean.... my parents convinced me to start transitioning in the first place! My mom was pushing me to like the idea of being a girl since forever. If my mom really wanted me to be a boy.... I just don't see that happening!"

"Oooo, avoiding the question? I would. Of course. If my daddy told me, 'Pumpkin, you have to shoot that girly body of yours with T and become a man. Stop being a pervy girl already and just embrace manhood.... I'd SO do it.' I bet you would, if your mom and dad asked real nicely."

"Well.... maybe. It could be kind of fun I guess. I've always wanted my cock to be really big."

"Me, too! It sucks having such a tiny cock...."

"And, I mean..... my boobs gave me such bad dysphoria, by nineteen I had to get a reduction! Mine are so small now but I actually kind of want to go smaller....."

"Me, too! I never knew you got a reduction.... I thought I saw scars! Mmmmm, how big were they from all that estrogen mommy made you take?"

"I was a KK-Cup."

"Holy shit. I bet they were bigger than your head! Mine were a HH-Cup and it was unmanageable. I hated having such big boobs, always bouncing around and falling out of everything and--"

"They'd constantly be sweaty, like all the time. Bleh!"

Lisa laughed. "For real. I think you should go smaller, too. Maybe totally flat? I wanna get mine trimmed down from this still waaaay too big B-Cup to the smallest A possible. Was mommy upset when you got rid of those massive juggs of yours?"

"Not really..... I told her how dysphoric they made me feel. She understood and talked me into a C-Cup. I..... wanted to go flat right away."

"Mmmm, how many girls wanna go that small? And you want a big cock?"

Hannah blushed. "It's just a fantasy of mine...."

"Next question.... you get a new doctor and he doesn't renew your hrt. He puts you on testosterone and steroids to help bulk you up. Do you thank him, or tell him to get lost, and look for a new doctor?"

Hannah bowed her head. "I dunno..... if he really thought I shouldn't be transitioning..... I might just thank him and try out male puberty...."

"Oooo, good answer. Me, too! I'd fan myself and praise him for being so honest with poor, confused little me."

"My cock is so hard right now....." Hannah whispered.

"So's mine. All two inches of it....."

"Hey, lucky! I'm only one inch...."

"I bet you wish it was fourteen or fifteen inches, thick as your wrist!"

"Duh! I'd love to have one that big.... that's normal for a trans girl to say, right?"

Lisa giggled. "Suuuure.... OK. Last question. If your boyfriend told you to throw out your estrogen and start T injections, that you have to obey him and be a good boy, would you?"

Hannah moved in closer to Lisa, feeling up her thighs to her waist. "Well, of course I'd have to obey him. What kind of partner would I be if I didn't?" Both soon-to-be-boys started making out, ready to fuck before Lisa ended the stream, waiting to surprise Hannah later with their new prescriptions.....

[osakanone]

How to Domesticate Your Pilot

tw: emotional abuse, abusive relationship, slavery, drug use, nonconsensual

Chapter 3: Do not abuse your wolves

Part 1: Action patterning: Initial Phases

On patterning, and its consequences.

Music: Five Sharps - Meditation for a Lost Pup

A lot of outsiders assume this one is going to be perverted in some way, like pet-play and stuff like that and really its more like being a parent until they mentally mature and come out of the adjustment period. In the beginning, a pilot's mind is regressed to a more platonic, more child-like state where their neuroplasticity is incredible compared to how it is normally, their capacity for learning is incredible: Its not unlike lysergic acid derived innocence, or things like that. Violence will genuinely traumatize them while they're in this state, so you must protect them. Even violent media will make them uncomfortable, you know? Be gentle. And be patient. Please. This is a fleeting time, and although it'll seem like it lasts forever, its over so quickly. You'll miss it, wondering where it all went. I still miss those days sometimes. You have to be a carer of sorts, as they re-learn to walk, and how to move and even speak. The result is someone who loves with the poise of a ballet trainer, the conserved motion of a boxer. Nearly inhuman levels of precision and grace. But until then, they're dependant on you. Its very short, but this is the period where they bond with you -- like a child might a mother, or as a dog might an owner -- and that bond is what makes this whole thing work. It is complete and utter selfless devotion on a level no human of sound mind is capable of comprehending: It simply isn't biologically possible for us to imagine what they're feeling, what they're going through. We just can't. The closest I've heard is its like falling in love for the first time, when love is new and beautiful and strange and pure, and you don't understand it or try to navigate it or circumvent or control it because you don't even realize it consciously. Only, its like that every day. For them, it never goes away. For the rest of their lives. -- RN, handler of Juno

Account: Sensory Sensitivity

Soundscape: The Hearts of Wolves

I cannot see, yet my ears are so young, Like when the world was new This strange clarity: I hear all; Thunder bakes the sky distantly A leaking window, through which cold wind whistles along, along Candles, whispering Slow tinkling bells along, along And the ship's engine room, four decks below along, along All separate All together: I hear all. -- Juno, pilot of RN, transcribed record taken during the adjustment period of action patterning

Addendum 2:

Q: "Is it ethical?"

Many self-elect, thinking it would fix them, that they want to be fixed… But they really don't understand what they're getting into. The worst is that after its done, even if they wouldn't have wanted it before, they would have no idea of that possibility now. It would be completely alien to them. We have absolutely no way of ever knowing if any of these are truly consensual, or have ever been consensual. -- LR

[paradoxicwashere]

My Ben 10 Reboot

Fuck it if I ever *do* make the comic it's a long way off *so*

Here's how I'd reboot Ben 10

The Mission Objective is 'The Baddest Kid to ever save the day' and by that I mean, I want to recapture the 'punk kid' attitude that Ben had in the Original Series that was pretty much air-lifted and relocated to Kevin from Alien Force onwards - leaving Ben as a more goofball with a heart of gold characterization.

For the sake of this being a different format this would be a 10 episode season more in line with modern TV (most notably in my head, My Adventures With Superman)

So here's the broad strokes. The entire season is located in Bellwood, Ben is about 15-16 when he finds the Omnitrix on a school field trip at the end of the school year. The show takes place during the summer but Ben is in his home town and is balancing a more traditional teenage home life and 'I just got superpowers' drama.

When the Omnitrix lands it draws the attention of a secretive organization: The Forever Knights, who come to Bellwood in the classic hat & trench-coat get up as boogey-men looking for Ben. When he is first pursued by these attack Ben flees to his cousins house to hide, revealing to Gwen and her boyfriend Kevin.

The first season takes cues from Stranger Things as the trio try to juggle normal teenage lives, avoiding the Forever Knights, and using the Omnitrix to help out when other strange things start happening in Bellwood.

And now just some notable plot beats I'd want to cover

Animo is a kindly biology professor who Gwen trusts with Ben's secret to try and help them, in his efforts to remove it he is driven mad in an accident and driven mad by wanting to understand the Omnitrix's mastery of Genetic Manipulation.

Greater focus on the core setting of Bellwood and a ordinary supporting cast. They might get dragged into the adventures sometimes but a lot of the characters are just normal highschoolers/parents/etc

The Forever Knights are earth's replacement for the Plumbers and are why they're no longer active on earth.

Gwen does magic, no Anodite stuff yet if at all.

Kevin, as always, is still also a 'bad boy' but like in the OS, as time goes on it'll be revealed that deep down Ben is naturally good, and deep down Kevin isn't. He'll be kicked from the trio in S2 with hope for redemption down the line.

When Kevin is out of the trio, sometimes he'd be replaced with Max othertimes he'd be replaced with Cooper.

Grandpa Max exists but isn't made aware of the Omnitrix until the end of S1/start of S2 when Tetrax shows up and it's revealed they were partners in the Plumbers years ago. They could've helped if only Ben had known to trust them.

Vilgax in S2.

As for Ben's aliens I picked a selection from the previous shows but I'm not married to this selection nor do I think the core 10 should *only* be returning Aliens:

Heatblast

XLR8

Brainstorm

Rath

Upgrade

Diamondhead

Amphibian

Spidermonkey

Ditto

Big Chill

(I swear I have nothing against Omniverse I just don't like most of the alien additions and the ones I do like, eg Feedback, Gravattack, Astrodactyl, Bullfrag, Atomix, Gutrot, and Whampire, wouldn't be good 'core 10' additions.)

[fifteensjukebox]

tagged by @amidalleia tysm!!💖

last song: winning by emily haines & the soft skeleton has been in my head and i have whatever a photographic memory but for music is called so i think it counts. i was trying to figure out the change in timing starting about a minute into the song and my memory wasn't good enough to figure it out, and i think the last song i actually listened to was wet blanket by metric (emily's band) in the car yesterday. what can i say i love her! (the update is that I tossed this post into my drafts earlier and i have now actually listened to winning and almost figured out what she's doing but i'll have to discuss with my music theory-knowing brother)

favourite color: turquoise/mint/teal/sage/cool amethysty purples/the denim blue VW car colour (my beloved first car was a vw beetle we called lulu so that colour is now lulu blue in my house à la dodie yellow)

currently watching/reading:

rewatching btvs and angel mid s4/s1 respectively while showing it to my mom and brother for the first time! it's taking ages but we're having the best time

gilmore girls - (late mid s3) first watch w my parents! there's so much i know from here and so much i don't but i know i love jess

grey's anatomy - watched s1-17 with my family a few years ago (begrudgingly at first bc i so did not want to watch a medical show. and sooo long! but it really is that good (sometimes)) & have been watching weekly as it airs since, but we just caught up on the first bit of the current season yesterday bc i didn't realize it was back. and i love the new class of interns so much we are SO BACK

not dead yet - the only show i'm currently watching by myself week to week as it airs and of course my favorite character is the white man i hate it here... i do love the women too though!!

doctor who 12th doctor rewatch but i stopped like a month ago in the middle of the episode before the cybermen plot starts bc it's just going to break my heart to lose bill for a third time. but i miss them! missy most of all so i will get to it soon

i'm not really reading anything at the moment but i have a couple audiobooks on hold at the library (yeah this is jenny's answer exactly but it applies!)

relationship status: single and i don't go out enough so i doubt it'll change anytime soon

sweet/savory/spicy: i want to say sweet bc i loooove sugar but i add salt to everything lately, i even added it to a rice krispie square the other day, so....

current obsessions:

also still nancy drew forever and always, but honestly i don't have a fandom hyperfixation atm! it's all about furniture shopping.... i'm looking for a small chair/stool for my bedroom desk, and a bigger table to go with my living room big chair so i can have my laptop/food/whatever else i want bc i seem to spend most of my time here

and emily haines/metric music (lately i haven't been listening to much me after 2007, but i love the more recent stuff just as much!

last thing you googled: something about the st vincent rock&roll hall of fame exhibit bc i'd seen a clip about it on someones story but i couldn't find the full video (still haven't)

no-pressure tags: @redheadedbrunette @apolloamy @godofsmallthings @jemhowling @acafemmeic @electrictouchfeaturingfalloutboy @coldnightairinmylungs & anyone else who wants to! i love these sm

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Como dientes en el alma

Song that inspired the title, idea is from this and the one post I made about wanting to write a prompt based off "you drew stars/around my scars/and now i'm bleeding"

This is so sweet and emotional, it made me miss writing angst and killing blorbos.

Have fun and don't get used to it <3

Lan Wangji passes by that place every morning when he takes A-Yuan to school. It's still the same as always, the same as back then, a little shop facing the main street, high windows with tattoo displays on them and a light up sign that hasn't flashed in over a decade.

"You don't look like the tattoo type." He laughs, and it lights up his whole face, his handsome features softening. His lip piercing glistens under the white neon lights, and for a moment, Lan Wangji forgets he's nervous at all. "Is there any occasion you're doing this for?"

"For... my mother, she's... gone."

There have been many rumors. Some said he ran away, others said he killed himself, or was disposed of. Most people shook their head and moved on with their lives.

Sometimes, Lan Wangji wishes he did too. Wishes he could.

It's been so long.

"Have you thought where you'd like it done?"

"It must be somewhere hidden. My workplace is...strict. As is my family."

He laughs again, and Lan Wangji finds himself yearning for the sound, wanting to remember it forever, melodious, sincere. Light shines on his face, his stormy eyes glistening with mirth, and Lan Wangji irrationally wonders what it would be like to hear that laughter forever.

"How about your arm? There's plenty of space there, I see." a wink, and Lan Wangji's ears flare red.

"Alright."

"I'll do my best so it doesn't hurt too much, but you'll hate me when I'll start to color it in, so heads up for that."

"It is fine, I am used to pain."

He smiles, but this time it's in sympathetic understanding, hiding something dark and painful beneath, "I am too. Doesn't mean you have to like it."

The tattoo is still there, beautiful etched into his skin. It hurt, but not nearly as much as everything else in his life - before that, and after - did. He still catches himself admiring it in the shower, or as he's getting ready in the mirror.

"Do you want to talk about your mother? It'll help distract you, you seem tense."

Lan Wangji was tense, but not because of the procedure, the other's touch electrifying, the closeness, intoxicating. But, indeed, this was about Lan Wangji's mother. And he never really got to talk to anyone about her.

It's comforting, to know there are still pieces of him into the world, scattered in the crowd, carrying his mastery, his touch, his soul, his creativity.

His love.

"My mom died too. Both my parents did. And I... I don't really remember them anymore. I was 3 or 4 years old when it happened, and then I lived on the streets for a while before uncle Jiang found me and took me in. I always wanted to find a way to make sure I wouldn't ever forget important things again and... well, you can never forget to look at your skin, right?"

It was impossible for Lan Wangji not to fall in love with him. Anyone would have. Such a kind, considerate, playful person, so beautiful, so artistic with everything he did - it was as if, with every move of his tools, Wei Wuxian didn't just leave his mark on Lan Wangji's body, but on his soul too.

"I...this is really unprofessional of me and I really shouldn't be doing this, but... frankly, I like you." The blush decorates Wei Wuxian's face so beautifully and Lan Wangji feels his own cheeks burn, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He smiles, shy, but with a glint in his eyes "And I think you like me too, because you've been here almost every day, and the 'I'm worried about healing' excuse is getting old."

Busted - but Lan Wangji knew it wasn't that good of an excuse anyway. However, he's done with excuses - and he pulls Wei Wuxian into a kiss instead, fully accountable and open about his intention.

And so incredibly happy.

Lan Wangji has three tattoos. The gentian flower, in memory of his mother, on his right arm, a pair of bunnies, a tribute to the love he and Wei Wuxian shared and...

Lan Wangji traces his fingers over the crudely drawn brand on Wei Wuxian's chest.

"This isn't yours." He says, and kisses over it, softly, as if the skin had yet to heal.

"No, it isn't... It was a... punishment. I pissed off the wrong people and I paid for it."

"Why didn't you remove it?"

"There are some things you can't erase, Lan Zhan, regardless of whether they show on your skin or not."

Lan Wangji remembered the symbol precisely - the lines, the contours of it, the sun it supposedly represents - and had it done too. Wanted to do it himself at first, drunk and mad with grief, but ultimately decided against it. Wei Wuxian wouldn't want him to die the same way he almost did.

"How about we get matching tattoos?" He asked one morning as he hopped onto the kitchen counter, coffee in hand, all but inviting Lan Zhan to kiss him.

He did, hungry and wanting as always, but Wei Ying seemed insistent on having a conversation right then, pushing Lan Zhan away enough so he could catch his breath. "I'm being serious, Lan Zhan, come on."

"So am I." And he kissed down the column of Wei Ying's neck as if to prove a point, hands sliding over the painted skin of his thighs.

"Lan Zhan, you're - ahh...- you're not listening to me!"

"I am. You sound pretty."

"That's not - mmh! - you know what, we should just get bunnies, since we're fucking like rabbits anyway!"

Sometimes, Lan Zhan can almost feel it, the gentle touch of Wei Ying's hand, the pinching of the needle, the warmth of being so close to the love of his life and distracting him with kisses when he shouldn't.

"Lan Zhan. Stay still, I mean it. I could really hurt you, and that would break my heart and my license!"

"You should not look so beautiful then."

Wei Ying lifted the tattoo gun off his skin and sighed, loudly. "Mister Lan, I may have to ask someone else to finish your tattoo, because you'll kill me with those words of yours."

Lan Zhan took advantage of the break to get into kissing his lover properly, smiling to himself as they parted and Wei Ying appeared entirely lovestruck, lips kiss-bruised.

"Okay, I'll behave. I don't want anyone but you."

It's been a long time since Lan Wangji has felt anything but hollow. He's been unable - and unwilling - to love anybody else other than his Wei Ying, and he's long resigned to a life of loneliness because of this conviction.

But he does dream, still, of a day when he passes by the old tattoo shop and the neon sign is lit up, the door opened wide, and Wei Wuxian rushing out to greet him, latch his arms around him and give him a sweet, smiling kiss.

Every morning as he passes by the place, his heart stutters with the tiniest surge of excitement.

Maybe there will be someone there today. Maybe, somehow, Wei Wuxian has returned, and he's still pursuing his dream and he still love Lan Wangji.

But the building stays stubbornly empty no matter how hard Lan Wangji hopes it not be so.

---

But one day, 13 years later, the neon sign is lit up and the door is opened. Lan Wangji nearly stumbles out of skin at the sight of the decrepit shop suddenly teeming with life and the distant sound of buzzing needles.

He rushes in, shaking with so much emotion he feels his knees might just give out.

Wei Ying!

The young man at the register glances at him curiously. The name badge on his shirt reads "Mo Xuanyu", and, as if awoken from a dream, Lan Wangji blinks once, twice, and realizes he doesn't recognize anything or anyone in the old establishment.

"Can I help you?" Mo Xuanyu asks, though Lan Wangji feels too shattered to do anything but shake his head.

How could he be so stupid? Of course he won't find Wei Wuxian here. There are other tattoo artists and the building couldn't have stayed abandoned forever.

The world has long moved on.

And Wei Wuxian is...

A voice calls from somewhere deep in the store, and the closer it gets, the more tears gather in Lan Wangji's eyes.

"Xuanyu, did the 10 am appointment arrive yet? I want to go get some co..."

Wei Wuxian stands frozen in the middle of the shop's reception, eyes wide as if unable to comprehend what he's seeing.

The stranger - no, not a stranger, not at all - smiles at him, honeyed and tearful, and Wei Wuxian's body moves before he realizes.

When he's finally in Lan Wangji's arms, and Lan Wangji is in his...

"Is this real, Lan Zhan? Tell me it is, tell me you're really here."

"I am here, Wei Ying. I've always been."

[themurderofcrowscollective]

HEY GUYS!! Hi, yes, you may know us as the Graveyard system or you don't, but now's not the time to get into that. I want to talk about the upcoming danger that is KOSA, the Kids Online Safety Act that hasn't yet been voted for as of today (9/27/2023), and speak out for people who aren't just part of the LGBTQIA+ community but also have mental illnesses like we do. We have undiagnosed D.I.D (Dissociative Identity Disorder), ADHD and Autism but we can't currently get our diagnosis because it'll keep us tied to our mentally and verbally abusive parents who are far right cultists who follow Donald Trump's word like he's the fucking Messiah forever, and online is where we can truly be who we are. We have to live in a house and go through constant brainwashing, gaslighting and manipulation into believing what our biological father preaches day in and day out, and our only escape is the internet. Now, I want you to take this in consideration that if KOSA is passed and approved, it won't just be us who will have no place to escape to, it'll be hundreds of others like us. I hate to admit it openly but for the past 4 years since our last attempt, we've been stuck thinking about ending our own life before things get bad but it wasn't our bio parents or our 'faith in the Lord' that kept us alive, it was our friends we met through the internet who understood what we were going through. It is a miracle we still have friends and loved ones who keeps us alive, but if the government fucking takes them away from us and outs us to our parents that we have D.I.D, we're FUCKED. Please, I know a lot of people will say 'change.org doesn't do anything' but understand this: We cannot hold a job without our parents rearing their heads and suggesting we pay for all the fucking bills, especially not in the town we live in, so what do you think would happen if we decide to go vote against this? I can only imagine the worst because in this household, our opinion isn't valued or even listened to, what our father believes is what he thinks we believe, but he doesn't know our political standing and different faith, and we'd rather keep it that way until we're able to leave. So the only way I can do my part is spreading the message, sharing this petition and hoping to the gods above that this post gets someone's attention who can do more than us. https://chng.it/nrfrtWWD8T Here's the link, don't let this bill pass and if you have better ways of stopping this, ACT ON IT. Call your representatives, sign any petition you can, or else there's a high chance that teens who are in dire need of help won't find it online.

[80pairsofcrocs]

baby scarab || 60.5

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : read my most recent post for updates on bs and stuff

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

~~~

in which it's max's birthday and  the bs family decides to mail her gifts.

~~~

y/n had made a friend online.

max, her bestie on tumblr, her birthday being december 22nd.

y/n decided she wanted to mail her gifts, which she needed her parents help for.

"so why are you sending gifts to someone you've never met?" marc asks, skeptical as he follows his daughter around the thrift store.

"because. she's nice to me AND we share common interests" you point out, and he sighs.

"do you even know what she looks like?"

"no"

jake chuckles at marc's expression, confused but intrigued.

"i thinks it's nice you're getting your friend a gift, just as long as she doesn't track you down and murder you" steven says and you smile.

"oh it's okay, she lives in my walls"

"no, she doesn't. if there was someone in our walls i'd know" marc practically brags.

"sure" you blink.

~~~

you decided on getting max an arcane plush of jinx, and a stuffed rat.

you know why.

now on the whole trip, you had explained exactly who max was to you to your dads, they decided to get a little something for her too.

jake got her two little plush cats, one black and one a calico to match pedro and luna.

steven decided to gift her one of his many pyramid paper weights that he got from a paper weight shop.

and marc just gave her cold hard cash, claiming he's terrible at giving gifts.

you packaged it all up and decided to write a note for her too.

you didn't know if max knew how much she meant to you, so you hoped this would make sense to her.

'to max,

i don't know if you already know this, but you're the best online friend i've ever had. we may have never seen each others faces, and possibly never will, but i don't need to to tell that you're such an amazing person. you've been with me since the start basically, and i am so happy that you've stuck around. i will always support everything you do from your fan art to your writing. i really do love you, and hope you're doing well, and being the best version of yourself.

much love, y/n'

you slipped the note in an envelope and stuck it to the package.

marc had volunteered to take it to the post office to mail to max.

here's the thing, she didn't know you knew where she lived.

so it'll be quite the surprise.

but just like you were laylas little scarab, max was always going to be your rat child.

forever and always.

~~~

A/N : HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX!!! @m4xedout i hope you have the bestest birthday ever!! i love you so much

~~~

taglist ---

@alexloveskili @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @thebiggestsimpshrimp @guyinachair27 @astrobuzzsstuff @mooonlight-and-stars @moonlighting87 @mateihavenoidea @inactive-things @alondrashultz @femalemarvelself @queenthorin1 @haileymorelikestupid @jvdethirlwall @justtiredandvibing @winterfrostsarmy @themapoftinyperfectthings @littlebird101 @atzlena @httpslinow @arrowurboat @m-brekker @lifeandbandmembers-blog @adamcarlsenslvr @violet-19999 @seninjakitey @bestgirlpip @panic-in-the-multiverse @in-between-the-cafes @branolagar @bl6o6dy @annoyingmarvelreader @bee-a-cool-kid @buzzitsbeee @wintergirlsoilder2 @crow-carcass @you-bloody-shank @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @valiantphantomangel @50shadesofcrocs @rayrlupin @kingshitonly @brekkers-desigirl @hutaos-gh0st @kayane28 @nevaeh-jasso @lizlil @scarabgrant @luvxxee @certainchildmentality @yikesitskennawrites @alexisabirdie @zlatolait-writes @thursdaywritings @izzzzy-the-amazing @angrykitsune01