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the-archetype-of-civilization · 1 year

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Some ATSV things that I love.

-SPOILERS AHEAD-

Gwen's world is gorgeous and the fact that it helps to convey emotions so well is awesome.

I can't say for certain, but the part where Lizard Parker's hand is sticking out of the rubble is similar to Green Goblin's hand sticking out when he died in ITSV. Funnily enough, that's when both Peters died.

Spot goes through a similar arc as Miles: they both have these abilities that they awkwardly try to utilize, fail often, and end up hurting themselves in the process. The difference is that Miles had a mentor and friends to help him through his trauma and loneliness and channel his powers for good. Spot had no one and, although he had a much easier grasp of his abilities and was far quicker to adapt to them than Miles, he channels his powers with hatred.

Uncle Aaron caring for Rio and Miles in Earth 42 after Jeff's death says more about him than he thinks.

Miles is such a tragic character in some of the less obvious but still hurtful ways: he's actively giving up his pursuit of art in exchange for science just so he can see his friends, he has no IRL friends, his Spider friends were not allowed and/or chose not to see him when they had the ability to, he's outcasted by the Spider Society actively, they KNEW he was an anomaly and chose not to tell him, him becoming Spider-Man was by chance, he learned his dad was "fated" to die, and he inadvertently caused Spot's creation (though, that was mainly Spot's own fault to be fair). It sucks, but he still keeps going because he's gonna "do his own thing." Absolute chad. I love the Spider peeps, even Miles' friend squad, but, respectfully, fuck 'em (minus Hobie, for obvious punk reasons).

This prevailing theme of "you can't just ignore your problems, you need to face them" is so good, and it's apparent through Gwen. She flat out says "I don't know how to fix this" when she reveals herself to her dad and just goes on a whole separate adventure, escaping her world and her problems, just ignoring it. And she's finally forced to confront her problems and herself when she's kicked out of the Spider Society, saying the same exact thing when she finds her dad again.

Gwen didn't kill Peter and she says as much to her dad, but I'm sure she feels guilty about it and that's probably why she tries to ignore it and not talk about it, denying that part of herself and further adding to the "denying her problems" and, by extension, herself.

This may be a personal thing, but it's interesting that characters seem more expressive and open about their feelings when the mask is on, rather than when they're off. They're more comfortable when they're hiding behind a mask, and are more guarded and insecure about themselves when the mask is off. Again, this might just be pure personal speculation.

Another great theme I love is that not everyone knows what they're doing, and that's okay. Kids, teens, adults. "No one has a personal handbook." And that's awesome and something that everyone needs to hear. And even the people that think they know what they're doing, don't (Miguel, Jess).

Following that, I love that it leads into "trusting yourself" and why Miles rejecting what everyone is saying how his story should go and doing his own thing hits so hard. He doesn't know if what he's doing is right, but he wants to do the right thing and he's going to fight hard to do it. Gwen has trouble realizing this because of another point I'm gonna bring up after, but she starts to understand that at the end as well. Same for Peter when he doubts he'll be a good father for Mayday. Do right for yourself through others. And, in a way, that works for Miguel as well in trying to do right by the multiverse (needs of the many vs. needs of the few), but it became twisted from trauma to the point of zealotry and a bad habit.

Gwen's mentors (Miguel and Jess, most likely) twisted her view of what the right thing to do is. She's learning from them what THEY think is the right thing to do, rather than trusting herself. She fell into a crowd that, indirectly, used her at her most vulnerable moment when she was the most doubtful about herself to become their asset. It's cruel, but she learned from it after she was kicked out. And it also shows that Peter really WAS a good mentor to Miles in comparison.

Miles inherits the Spider-Man trait better than any other Spidey in the Society. "What's important is not standing by while allowing someone to suffer or die because you do nothing. If you don't get that, then you don't know the first thing about being Spider-Man." He does this without a second thought and INSTINCTUALLY. The fact that everyone CHOOSES to sacrifice is bonkers, a sacrifice is only viable when there's no other option when taking action. Miles LEARNED from his inaction in the first movie, now he's practically teaching everyone by example.

I don't agree with everyone saying that he needs to sacrifice to be a true Spider-Man, when this movie and ITSV before it is a critique of the Spider-Man mythos: that a Spider-Man is only a true hero until they have lost someone dear to them. Miles is an anomaly, and I feel like this only adds to him being the outlier if he goes BEYOND the curse and is able to save both his dad and the multiverse. If Raimi's Spider-Man could do it, so can he. And Gwen's dad is now alive and well, too! Not everything is set in stone, even Lyla said as much: "That's what the model says..."

Rio's speech to Miles is some of the most heartwarming, genuine, motherly writing I've seen in a long time and is a top highlight in the movie for me. And I think this is what kept Miles going through his escape from the Spider Society, standing firm against everyone saying he didn't belong and that he was going to get home safe and sound like she wanted.

"Meanwhile, the cakes take a ride..."

Also, the super long quiet moment after Gwen leaves and Rio is there to console him is such a nice breather. Allowing the film to soak and the characters to breathe is awesome, just seeing Miles react to seeing his friend leave with simple silence against the NY ambience is such under utilized filmmaking. LET FILMS BREATHE AND TAKE THEIR TIME.

Miguel's twisted view isn't without merit and I understand where he's coming from. He's taking these steps because he was forced to have this narrow-minded view of saving the world and what it means to be Spider-Man because of the trauma he experienced, that you NEED to sacrifice in order to save everyone else. His steps to do it are messed up and bordering antagonistic (especially when Miles is in the picture), but he's doing it for the right reasons (he watched an entire universe become erased because of his selfishness). But it's the wrong execution. He's a better written villain with understandable motives than Thanos, in my eyes.

And I really love that Miguel was willing to talk down Miles about what was at stake, to reason with him and empathize with him about the cost of his choices and where it lead him ("Trust me, I know") before he...jumped to an ultimatum.

The music fucking slaps, and I don't just mean in terms of melody and sound and all that. It tells a story as well without the movie, it has its themes perfectly interwoven (like a web heheh) together and creates a thematically rich soundtrack. Pemberton can create so many moods in one track effortlessly it's insane, all the way from heartwarming, to terrifying, to brutal, to epic, to heroic, to fun. Top marks.

"I'm gonna take everything from you, like you took everything from me. See you back home...Spider-Man" is terrifyingly delivered and a chilling line.

I don't need to say anything more about Hobie than anyone else has, but I severely misjudged him like Miles did and I love being proven wrong. Especially with the discussion about him being more brotherly towards him. I also liked that he saluted Mayday and knows how to handle a baby, looking out for the kids and all like he does.

Addendum, seeing Miguel being able to handle a baby as well is heartwarming and heartbreaking for obvious reasons.

The part where Hobie uses his legs to block Miles from going almost feels like he's trying to warn Miles not to go any further, that it's not gonna end well. Gotta love Hobie, man.

Peter's little speech to Miles is really nice, and something everyone needs a reminder of, too. "Bad things are gonna happen, but good things happen, too." It's short, simple, and sweet. Although, in the context of it basically being "yeah, your dad is gonna die, but something good will come from it, too," that's pretty messed up.

Seeing Miles' borderline evil smirk when he starts sapping Miguel's electricity is wild.

In relation to that, Miles has grown up so much. You can see that he's been able to calm himself down more and have better control of his abilities. You can especially see it when he's facing 42 Miles: his eyes relax, he steadies his breathing, and he has complete focus. That's when his powers come out. I love watching my boy work.

Side note to that last part about 42 Miles, our Miles clearly learned from Peter when he tore his gloved finger to use his powers: "Watch the hands, not the mouth."

Miles' "good bye" to Gwen is so sad, but you can hear he's grown from it. From them. He sounds so heavy hearted and disappointed. Again, I need to reiterate to his friend squad, really uncool, guys.

When they were going through every Spider person's captain death tally and there was Hobie's, his reply ("Yeah, what of it?") is heartbreaking.

In ITSV as well, but I love how they animate hugs in this movie. And I love how often it happens, too. They're quick and tight, but look and probably feel as warm as they look. It's a very affection heavy movie.

"The 'Spider Verse'...huh. That's...stupid" is such a dickhead thing to say, but it's so hilarious. It feels like something that would only be utterable in a comic book setting. It works.

That twist at the end is expertly crafted and I've talked about it in another post, and that cliffhanger (although painful to us viewers) is a perfect way to cap off that it's the beginning of the end and that all of the players are set, the pieces are in place. An Empire Strikes Back equivalent but in glorious comic book form, tone and all.

Anyway, movie good. I probably have more to say and maybe I'll make another post when I think more about this movie (I inevitably will). But yeah, I had to get this out of my head. Thanks.

Also, side note, Spider-Cat and Pter Ptarker should be named Peter Purrker and Petyrannosaurus Prex. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Edit: I'm sorry, I keep updating this post thinking that it's the last and then I think about something else that I love and have to put it in. This movie is brain rot.

Edit 2: I made another post because I can't help myself.

#spider man #spider man across the spider verse #spider man across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #across the spider verse #atsv #spider verse #spiderverse #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #miles morales #gwen stacy #peter b parker #peter parker #jessica drew #rio morales #aaron davis

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eobarried · 1 year

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ok let’s talk about miguel o’hara because it needs to be done. i want to clarify that this is not a hate post or anti-miguel in any sense, but it is a critical analysis of his character and role in the spiderverse. if you don’t feel like you can read this right now, i suggest you like it/save it for later and read it when you feel like you can with an open mind

especially for anyone who’s a miguel enjoyer (i consider myself one as well) because if you really love his character, it’s important to understand why his character was created and what a great narrative tool it is! anyway-

miguel o’hara is, allegorically, a bigot.

now - let’s unpack and clarify that. miguel is allegorically a bigot - his character is used to represent a certain, specific type of bigotry we see in real life. notice how i’m saying “bigot” and not “racist” - because despite the memes, i don’t think miguel’s hatred of miles is rooted in antiblackness. i think it’s rooted in something a little more complicated, which is why i’m using the term bigotry. but this can be a little confusing, so let’s start from the beginning. or, at least, the most important part.

the canon.

i want you to really think about the word used here - canon. hearing that word should break the fourth wall for you, just like hearing “he’s got hammerspace!” should have earlier in the movie - or discussions different characters have surrounding their distinct art styles. it’s meant to break the fourth wall and draw attention to itself. specifically, the use of the word canon here is meant for us to take a step back from the in-universe events (treating the characters as “real” people and looking at events logically) and instead think of the spiderman story and mythos.

spiderman, as a story, has been told over and over again. we, as an audience, are deeply familiar with this story, as we’ve seen it as a live-action blockbuster in no less than three separate franchises. that’s not even mentioning all the cartoon adaptations, and of course the comic runs. adhering to a specific formula surrounding the story makes sense. when someone walks into a spiderman movie, they have certain... expectations. that no matter what version of spiderman this is, that they follow certain story beats and adhere to certain rules as they follow along in their journey. miguel, when explaining this to miles, focuses on said story beats (which i’ll get to in a second), but there’s something that’s way more important than specific plot points that we need to address here.

and that’s theme.

theme (if you’re not an english literature person), is basically something you take away from the story. it’s usually a moral, idea, or concept that can be applied to the world around you, and helps you learn more about yourself, society, culture, or history. all stories have themes - usually they have multiple. so let’s get into it.

the original spiderman comic was notable in several ways. the thing that made spiderman so popular and successful is that he was the first (notable) teenage superhero that wasn’t a part of a greater team. spiderman wasn’t a sidekick that was written in to appeal to an audience of children. he was a teenager himself - but he was no less competent or strong than the (mostly adult) villains he fought.

and not only was spiderman a kid - he was the kid. he was a nerd. he was an older white teen, yes - but he represented the type of person who would go out and buy a comic book more than any other hero at the time. before he became spiderman, peter parker was just kind of a geek. at the time (the 60s) this still identified him as an outcast. peter was socially awkward, not good with girls, he didn’t have many friends, and he was bullied consistently. the only thing he was good at was science, basically. we can connect peter’s original portrayal to many legitimately marginalized groups - specifically those that might be autistic and impacted by ableism. to those kids reading that comic, they saw a hero that represented them.

and how does peter represent them? what does spiderman teach these children by reading these comics? the original spiderman is the story of a man who, by chance, was granted the opportunity for greatness - to become an integral part of his community. spiderman uses his skills (both those granted to him by the spider, but also those that he inherently has, such as his skills with science and engineering), in order to prove his worth and merit. it’s lonely, the road he has to walk - he can’t tell his friends and family who he is, lest they become victims like uncle ben - or lest they betray him. he can only rely on himself and his own knowledge in order to protect his community. the themes we draw from spiderman are this: luck can strike at any time, but you need to use your own strength and intelligence to pull yourself up afterwards, no matter how hard things get. no matter how many people you lose.

that’s what miguel believes spiderman is about. this original spiderman story is that of the american dream. of a youth who is ostracized by society (for whatever reason), but is still able to use their own merit to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them and the grief and pain they face on their path to greatness. it’s a hard and lonely path, but miguel values anyone who has the bravery to face it.

so why does he hate miles?

because he didn’t do it alone. because miles doesn’t believe in the traditional american dream.

if you want to read more about that, check out my analysis comparing spider-society and visions academy over here (it’s not as in-depth as i would like it to be, but it gets the job done) but basically: miles believes that every person deserves greatness. he states it very clearly when talking to his dad about how he won the lottery to go to visions: he just got lucky. he feels as if he took an opportunity away from someone else. why is it just given to him, when anyone else at brooklyn middle is just as deserving of an amazing education? when these resources should be put to use to uplift his whole community, not just miles alone?

miles brings that same energy as a spider-person. he’s not just an anomaly because his spider was from a different dimension. he’s an anomaly because he had a mentor. not only a mentor - he had a whole clan of spider-people there for him. while peter b parker and the crew weren’t always very good allies for miles, they still wanted him to succeed. each spider-person was an outcast - not in the same way as miles, but they were eager to describe what miles needed to master in order to keep himself safe as a crime-fighter. although they weren’t always supportive, it wasn’t because they were “gatekeeping” - it’s because they were worried miles might hurt himself. to them, he hadn’t put in the work on his own, and because he hadn’t proven himself as a spider-person in isolation, they thought there was no way he could be successful as a spider-person during a very high-risk mission.

however, miles proves them wrong. it’s true that miles has to pull upon his own inner strength, but he also pulls on wisdom from those that mentored him - his father, his uncle aaron, peter parker, and peter b parker. as well as love and support from his community. miles became spiderman - but not in isolation. he had help, and support, and love - always - that helped him succeed.

because spiderman - in all universes - represents success in america. in the original comics, spiderman is able to overcome his status as an outcast in order to help his city. he now has great power - a potential allegory related to wealth and social or political status. he uses that power in order to protect the community he loves (nyc) as they can’t all protect themselves.

now let’s bring it back. miguel. right.

miguel has already made his mark as a spiderman. although we know he broke canon, it wasn’t related to him becoming spiderman. we can assume that miguel still went through serious struggle and trauma to get to where he’s at. and now, through thematic analysis, we know that becoming spiderman represents success in america.

so, miguel’s dislike of miles, thematically, connects to how older generations may believe that younger generations “have it too easy” or “don’t put in the same effort.” it’s the (mainly capitalistic) ideal that in order to succeed, it has to be in isolation, without outside help. we can infer that miguel is not only upset that miles didn’t do things “canonically” - but that he is afforded success that miguel doesn’t think he deserves. miguel believes that in order to succeed in america, one needs to do it on their own, and suffer in order to succeed. no “hand-outs,” no support, no community outreach. it’s a very rigid capitalistic standard - which is why i called it “bigoted.” miguel is still a marginalized figure - and it’s important that miguel is the one stating the viewpoint, not a white spiderman. because this isn’t a white vs black storyline. miguel’s dislike of miles is specifically a sort of generational, inter-community bigotry.

for someone who hasn’t experienced it - think of it like hazing. you join a new sports team. the senior players say “you carry the equipment out and clean everything after the game.” you ask “why? can’t we all just do it together? aren’t we supposed to be a team?” and they say “no. you’re the new guys. hard work builds character. deal with it.”

alright. so we took a look at canon through a meta-story lens. now let’s pull it back even further.

so, miguel’s ideology. he adheres firmly to canon, a series of events that cannot (or, should not), change. if we apply that to our lives, that sounds a lot like predestination. destiny. fate. let’s call it predestination for now - you’ll see why in a minute.

now, a belief in predestination makes sense. it can bring a lot of people comfort, thinking that horrible events are out of their hands, and often times it can be harmless to believe in predestination in these instances. for example: someone who blames themselves for not being able to say goodbye to a loved one who died suddenly. if this person believes in predestination, it might ease some of their pain and guilt to know that there was nothing they could do - that it was the will of some higher power that their loved one is gone, and that there was nothing they could do to prevent it. some individuals might find comfort in knowing that they are not to blame for the work of the universe.

however, predestination can also be malicious. thinking that things are the will of the universe, or the will of god... that’s been used for some pretty fucked up stuff in the past. in a more moderate (and topical) example - royalty. many kings used the concept of predestination to explain why they deserved the crown. their bloodline was chosen by god himself - that’s why they’re powerful (compare to spider-people and their success. if they are also predestined for their spider-bite, doesn’t that make them akin to monarchs?)

in more nefarious examples, predestination can be used to subjugate and oppress others. predestination was used in ancient indian society in order to justify the caste system - utilizing the hindu concept of karma to justify why certain members of society were mistreated and oppressed. in a more american sense, predestination was often used as a way to justify both slavery and segregation. originally, slavers tried to justify that god wanted black individuals to serve as slaves because it was his will. later, when divine intervention fell out of fashion, they attempted to use eugenics to justify that black individuals were simply born inferior - that it was just science, and that there was nothing they could do about it.

that’s the other reason it’s called canon. the original usage of the word was to refer to the books of the bible that the church recognized as legitimate. it ties back to faith and religion.

now, religion, faith, and even the belief in fate itself - are not inherently bad. miguel’s belief in predestination doesn’t make him a bad or bigoted person inherently. however, the way he forces other to believe and adhere to it is. it’s very likely that miguel became so attached to the canon in order to justify why his wife and daughter died - in order to remove his own accountability for their passing and instead place the blame on some higher power. this belief snowballed out of control, however - and now influences his jealousy and distaste for miles and his way of life.

because forcing a canon - a story - on miles, is wrong. when miguel tells miles that his father must die, that he has to adhere to canon - that’s a horrible thing to say to a young black boy. to tell him that in order to be successful as a marginalized individual (to be spiderman) that he has to lose the last black male role model he has? it’s heinous! it’s akin to telling miles that in order to succeed, he has to cut ties with part of his culture. which does happen to young marginalized people in america. they are told that in order to be successful, they have to leave their culture, community, and support system behind.

it’s especially sinister when looking at it from the point of view of storytelling. when looking at it from that angle, miguel is basically telling miles that in order for his story - the story of a young black boy - to be profitable, he has to go through even more trauma and loss. it’s similar to what his guidance counselor mentions when discussing how miles should write his college entrance essay - that he should lie, and emphasize that he struggles while growing up, and that his support system was unstable. it’s the traditional story of a struggling black boy - which i discuss more here when talking about earth 42 miles and his inclusion in the spiderverse.

miguel’s bigotry is centrally tried to his idea of what american society expects of marginalized individuals who were able to achieve their dreams despite it all. a story of pain and struggle. one where they were able to - only through their own strength and intelligence, and maybe with a little bit of luck - pull themselves up, and quietly work towards their own success.

miguel’s belief in the american dream and predestination not only influences his treatment of miles, but also his creation of spider-society. now, let me be frank: miguel, in this franchise, is not supposed to represent someone who created systematic oppression. he’s simply one of the people who believed in bigoted ideals and allowed those ideals to influence his decisions. because when miguel created spider-society, it basically became an elitist isolation chamber. spider-society is located in a huge tower on miguela’s earth. the tower is so tall and imposing on the utopian landscape, there’s no way that miguel is able to properly support his own community as spiderman - he’s not worried about what happens to his own community. especially once we learn that a good portion of them live underground, where miguel can’t even see them. even if he wasn’t occupied with anomalies at all times, there’s no way he could even connect with nueva york around him.

the same can be said of all the spider-people in headquarters. they’re not even in their home dimensions. how can they possibly support their communities when they have isolated themselves as far away as they could literally be? it parallels how successful individuals often treat their communities in reality - what do wealthy people usually do at the first sign of their wealth? they build a huge mansion to get away from it all. many times in our capitalist society, wealthy and successful people abandon the communities they should be supporting.

miguel represents that. he is a successful, powerful person, who decided to focus only on other successful, powerful people like him. marginalized people who achieved the american dream on their own. people who, instead of uplifting others, instead tear down those who don’t fit into their “mold.” who are successful in their own right, but don’t hold the same ideals and values that they do. who aren’t the model example of marginalized success in the eyes of the (white) american “audience.”

miguel is a product of a great problem within society. while he partakes and perpetuates bigotry, that doesn’t mean that he’s irredeemable. the narrative shows that miguel is a broken man. if we think about to the end credits scene from itsv, where he calls his dimensional travel bracelet a “goober” - he wasn’t always so hateful. he wasn’t always like this. he can un-learn his bigotry and he isn’t completely lost. the way that he discusses his ideas - it’s clear that he knows that there are flaws in them, just as other spider-people consistently point out. he can be changed and improved - just like our real leaders and role models can be changed and improved. miguel is not without saving - but it’s important to remember that he does need to be saved.

#Spiderverse #across the spiderverse #across the spider-verse spoilers #into the spider verse #miguel o'hara #meta analysis

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trivalentlinks · 1 year

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quora (a q&a social media site, like yahoo answers, but higher quality) used to have a lot of questions of the form "how would you explain X to your grandmother?" Where X was usually some mathematics or physics concept. Things like:

How would you explain quantum mechanics to your grandma?

Category theory?

General relativity/space-time?

Bayesian statistics?

(this was before quora made it so that you got paid for asking questions that generated engagement, thus inundating the site with troll questions; back then quora had decent questions)

One of my friends, who had a fairly large following on quora, had two grandmothers (out of four, including step-grandmas) who had PhDs in mathematics. He used to love answering these questions like,

"I would say [extremely abstract explanation with analogies to far more esoteric concepts than the question was asking],

But my grandma's an algebraic topologist, so your mileage may vary."

One time some fellow quora users we knew irl asked him about this, since he's generally very sweet and opposed to trolling/being needlessly rude to people online, and someone asked him why he didn't feel bad about ignoring the spirit of the questions, and essentially poking fun at them in front of his large following,

And he said, "well the thing is that these questions are actually kind of rude to grandmas. they act like all grandmas are the same, just some blank slate for you to explain things to, when in fact grandmas can have quite varied interests and knowledge. I'm just responding to the questions' offensiveness in kind"

And then he mentioned how nobody asks "how would you explain [science concept] to your dad?", right?

Because society thinks of fathers as diverse and varied, so why aren't grandmas viewed as a similarly diverse group, when they actually are, and as someone with four grandmas (through divorce and remarriage), he would know (even though two of his grandmas apparently had very similar interests to each other, lol)

And I just. Those questions always left a bad taste in my mouth, too, but I had never thought to explain it this way (which I guess is why he was a quora influencer and I wasn't, lol)

I also had more than the normal number of grandmas (grandpa was double married (poly marriage was legal back then)) and like, yeah, each of my three grandmas had a very unique and interesting story.

Two of my grandmas ran away from home to go to university when their families didn't approve of women getting educations. One of these became an electrical engineer.

The other studied law (fully funded on government merit scholarship) and became an understudy to the equivalent of a justice of the supreme court (under the nationalist government, which unfortunately led to her being subject to denunciation rallies later on). She was also into martial arts and knew some gorgeous forms with a sword. (She was the grandma I was closest to because she raised me for a few years when I was a kid)

The other grandma (the one who didn't go to university, grandpa's first wife) was an avid storyteller who could keep all the neighbourhood kids entertained for hours from stories told from memory (her language had no writing system), and also a master at embroidery. She also easily won over my mother and my aunt's love even though they only met her in their early teens (my grandpa had hidden her from their mom, his second wife) and she didn't speak any Chinese, and my mom and aunt only spoke Chinese.

Like, yeah, grandmas are a diverse group and it does suck that society generally doesn't regard them as such

#grandmothers #grandmas #long post #math #physics #diversity of grandmas #for some reason readmore/the keep reading thing isn't working for me atm

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lucaaazd · 5 months

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Snippet of a (not so) little Aruani story I’ve been working on. I love it so much and it’s helped me through some real trying times. Don’t have an ao3 account yet so thought I’d share a chapter on here :)

Premise: A decade after the Rumbling, Armin and Mikasa share a rare moment away from their families in the shade of their childhood tree. Armin opens up about his struggles to connect with one of his children, which leads him down a path of remembrance and reflection.

Ships: primarily Aruani, but a lottttt of other ships get a cameo as well. Eremika, Jeankasa, Jeanpiku, Mikannie, Reijean & more !

TW: (just in this chapter) mentions of abuse

Canon-compliant 💚

“

Life happens.

Annie told him not to worry. She told him how years of physical and emotional abuse, compounded by the multitude of medical experiments Marley conducted on her had likely rendered her infertile.

Looking back, Armin realized he wanted to believe her more than he really did. Why risk it? It’s not like him. He’d read books about the human body and its resilient, unpredictable nature, especially when it comes to the uterus. He remembered flipping through some vividly illustrated pages fervorously at the ripe age of twelve when the librarian with the broken nose caught him, threatening to tie him up for the bit of inappropriate reading he’s doing. The town of Liana, an idle green village tucked away in the thickets of elms and cedars native to Northwestern Wall Rose, wasn’t exactly sizable. Armin often sought shelter in the only library in an hour’s horse ride, which was affiliated with the prestigious Askatu Institute of Science and Liberal Arts. He might have even gone to college if not for what happened to their hometown. Gran was already gone. No one cared if he read a couple books he’s too young for.

Still, ten years later, he’d let Annie lead him into those dark, unused train cars at the wee hours of dawn, words like fallopian tubes and ovulation burnt into his retina. How lame. Was he supposed to be thinking of those when the hand around his was soft and warm and he could feel the urgency in the way it squeezed and tugged him?

Armin's one of those boys who didn’t hit that growth spurt till about 15, with tiny prepubescent shoulders and a squeaky voice that stayed that way when everyone else was going through changes. Annie on the other hand - pretty much everyone had found themselves stealing glances at her at one point or another when they were kids, including Armin. There’s things he’d never even told Mikasa or Eren, including the time when he took it one step too far.

It was way before they became soldiers. He was eleven. He didn’t even know her name. All he knew was that she was an orphan with no one looking out for her. He just wanted to make sure she’s okay.

At least that’s what he told himself.

Him and Annie had reached the unspoken agreement of feigned forgetfulness regarding their encounters, if you could even call them that, back in those days.

One of the first nights after their enlistment, some dude made a tipsy remark along the lines of: “What’s her name again? Elaine? Right, Annie. Annie’s just cool man. There’s just something cool about her.” There was always a lot going on in the mess hall due to certain recruits still getting the hang of respectful communal living, but that comment in particular stood out against the rest. In all the wolf whistles, laughter and murmurs of agreement that ensued, Armin kept his mouth shut. He was kinda hoping they were talking about some other Annie. Come to think of it, he’s not even sure her name was Annie. It definitely wasn’t Elaine. She’d talked maybe twice since their first day and when she did, she was quiet like a mouse.

He couldn’t even remember that dude’s name or face now. He had a feeling he never figured out what exactly was cool about Annie. Probably squashed under her foot like a fly in Stohess. Soldiers from all three factions, including a lot of their fellow cadets, perished that day.

Still, a good number of well-intentioned admirers refused to believe Annie was a cold-blooded mass murderer long after her cover was blown. The rest harbored a justifiable burning hatred towards her based on the conclusion that she’s an insane, sadistic psycho bitch who deserved to get cut up slowly.

Armin knew for a fact that Annie herself leaned towards the second theory, no matter how much she tried to make it seem otherwise. He knew that since the day he watched her hungrily from his hiding spot behind a willow tree as a child, wonder decaying into horror when he realized what she was doing. He knew when she broke down into a manic fit of laughter at the mouth of the underground passageway he had hoped to lure her into. His initial trepidation bubbled into anger, then disgust, then a burning desire to see her bonded and gagged and find out exactly what lay behind those hollow, listless pupils. Her story, one he pieced together with what little could be extracted from her obstinate silence, was punctuated with way too many contradictions for one cohesive meaning to be teased out.

The art of deceiving was not a specialty of hers, hence the muteness. In that way and many other ways, she’s not at all like Reiner or Bertolt, who spewed out lie after lie with all the ingredients of a good story, combining fair quantities of truth and well-phrased speculation with a sprinkling of theatrical alterations to stir the flavors. It took Armin hours of studying Annie’s unresponsive form in the crystal, opening up time and unrolling it to its full length so that he could single out a quiet scoff, the clenching of a fist, replaying the moment frame by frame for signs of mental fissure or psychosomaticism. He kept descending the stairs to the basement where she was held captive, long after spectators’ footsteps grew farther and fewer in between and eventually diminished to the echo of one lone pair of boots, his own.

.”

This chapter is very stream of consciousness but I promise it’s not all gonna be like this 😭 anyways, if u made it this far, cheers and have a good day 💚

Luca 💚

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aruani #armin arlert #annie leonhart

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kapi-tanka · 1 year

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what do you think about arcade gannons father? do you have any headcanons or just thoughts in general? i've seen your posts about his mother so yk just curious

sorry it took so long to answer! actually i had a similar conversation with my mutual not so long ago so i'll just copy my discord messages if it's okay with you lol... i don't know what else to add. at first i wanted to write a separate answer to your question but i guess there's no point in repeating myself in slightly different words also sorry to any marxists who get to read this. my understanding of politics is still far from confident but i try to educate myself as much as i can. TEXT VERSION UNDER THE CUT

omg i'm by no means an authority but i really appreciate it!! hmm but what are you interested in exactly? i think i've covered my headcanons on arcade's mom pretty well in one of my comics but his dad's still a bit mystical figure to me. but i have a couple of headcanons based on info from the ttrpg fallout game where arcade was josh sawyer's player character. like, i headcanon his name as mark because it was his name in the ttrpg (and i feel like some people do that too) and it seems that he knew some latin or at least a couple of latin phrases (and maybe mark even was the reason why arcade learned latin later, that and his medical education). and since cannibal johnson says that arcade reminds him of gannon sr. i feel like he was a pretty educated person too. and it may be a bit weird/hard to explain/very post-soviet of me and i'm not sure if it's even a thing in other countries/regions but i've always read gannons (or at least mrs gannon) as "intelligentsia" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligentsia). basically, a social class of the "minds" of the state who were privileged enough to get good education and, therefore, important positions in the state, primarily in science/arts/education (it's not a separate class actually, they mostly were bourgeoisie/petite bourgeoisie or on the border with the working class). education was almost inherited in such families because "intelligents" gravitated towards each other and subconsciously taught their kids the same ideals/automatically gave them some of their cultural capital. so yeah, it was pretty elitist in its core but intelligentsia was generally very politically conscious (because they had opportunities to learn in-depth theoretical politics and not only the propaganda for the working class). i obviously oversimplify it and all of this was much much more nuanced and complex, but i hope it still makes some sense and we have very tragic associations with intelligentsia here because when the soviet regime started to shoot itself in the leg intelligentsia was the first to leave the country/be imprisoned/executed/repressed in many other ways. because, again, they were educated enough to critique the state in "dangerous" ways (and many intellectuals helped to shape the communist revolution in the beginning so their importance was originally in this ability to provide state criticism). i know that the enclave is nothing like the ussr in terms of their politics and roots but i feel like similar social classes form in other secluded states too (and something similar even happened to veronica in the brotherhood so. yeah). and i feel like the enclave went through the same process of staling within itself due to lack of contact with the outside world soooo its policies became more and more right-wing with time. and gannons were somewhat oppositional even before mark's death and mrs gannon's parting with the enclave. like, we know that cannibal johnson was openly anti-enclave and even sabotaged his missions. and also cannibal johnson says the nicest things about arcade's father so i think that they had to share political views at least in some way. but mark gannon has to be much more complex than this, not all sugar and candy of course. i feel like he went through a "going anti-state" arc and was much more right-wing in the beginning of his military career and before meeting his wife (also i headcanon her name as daniela because "daniel" was originally arcade's middle name) sorry for the wall of text!!! i can elaborate on anything (also lol. it reads as very anti-communist but i didn't intend it that way. i'm an anarcho-communist myself but i think it's important to talk about war crimes of any failed regime, especially the one you want to work properly in the future)

yes same!! honestly i don't think arcade remembers him well. because everything arcade says sounds more like something other people told arcade?? and in my headcanon he internalized his mother's and other remnants' sentiments and opinions to a point of having fake memories about his dad (but i think it was mostly the remnants who formed this conflict, i see his mother as a silent and a bit avoidant type because she never told him what happened to mr gannon). i still can't figure out my own timeline for arcade's childhood but i thiiiink they left navarro when he was around 5-6 years old cuz arcade says in one of his quotes that he had to hide his association with the enclave for 30 years. plus i believe that he said something about moreno living half of his life on the wastelands already but still grieving the enclave

i think mark was mostly busy with missions to spend any time with arcade. but i don't see him as a particularly bad father, just a busy kind

like, maybe they've had so little time together that arcade remembered some moments very vividly but overthinked them? sometimes memories become foggy because you spin them in your head for too long. for some reason i feel like this happened to almost every arcade's memory of mark

#asks #also i made a “story” about arcade's mother first because it pisses me off how everyone talks about his dad lmao #we don't know a thing about her #arcade must grieve her too come on!!!

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22degreehalo · 25 days

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Pulling my hair out........

Whyyyyyyy are people SO DESPERATE to find ways to justify harry potter being an awful book that nobody ever liked. Why is is SO GODDAMN HARD for people to just admit that a bad person could make a good thing!!!! Even a pretty decent thing!!!!! As if millions of people around the world didn't sit down to read over a MILLION WORDS for fucking nothing!!!!!!!!!!

Because I work in a library!!!!!! Harry potter is still so goddamn relevant guys!!!!!!!! We still have harry potter signs up!!!!!! There are still so many kids reading them for the first time!!!!!! Still soooooooooOOOOO many spin-offs and 'wizarding world crochet' and 'the science of Harry Potter' and 'essays on Hogwarts' and literally anything you can think of!!!!!!!! I wore a cheap-ass witch hat and two separate people asked me if it was a 'Hermione hat!'!!!!!!!! And my coworker dressed up as Professor McGonagall!!!!!!! Another coworker has an 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good' lanyard!!!!!! Hell, my aunt in goddamn America moved in to a new apartment and do you know what event they put on to bring the tenants together? A Harry Potter crafts day!!!!!!!!!!!

Christ all fucking mighty, regardless of how you personally feel about it now (or back then, if you were ~oh so smart~ enough to uhm Acktchually have hated it from day 1), it was a global phenomenon that got millions of kids into reading. Was it in the right place at the right time? Yeah!!!!!! Just like literally anything that becomes a phenomenon!!!!!!! But IT HAPPENED, and *to this day* Harry Potter is a global symbol of reading and wonder and childhood and it's been fucking decades and you simply cannot change that now!!!!!!! You know what people still to this day recommend to people learning new languages? Reading Harry Potter, because it's immediately assumed of everyone that you'll not just be familiar with the story but know all the beats well enough to follow along with the story even when you can't fully understand what you're reading!!!!!!!!!!

Just oh my fucking GOD, I know this is an unhinged rant but I still keep *hoping* that *this time* if I take a peek behind those filtered tags, I might see a post with some vague tangential reference to reality as it pertains to the most popular modern book series of all time, but as always: nope!!!!! God for fucking bid we acknowledge even for a microsecond that Goodness and Beauty are not inextricably intertwined!!! Absolutely anything to justify ourselves as True Of Heart because we, The Good Ones, would never commit such thought crimery as having positive emotions about a work of art whose author later became a transphobe!!! And of course we can't possibly ever praise the work's anticlassism messages oe statements of tolerance or diversity, because that means Saying She's Right About Everything Ever, so we have no choice but to continue this vicious cycle wherein people only ever hear bad things in this goddamn stupid echo chamber and that just becomes the 'objective truth'!!!!!!

God I'm just fucking waiting for when somebody posts some old letters of Tolkein's and suddenly everyone remembers that he was an old white Catholic man who started a lot of the goddamn racial charicatures HP is blamed for and wrote a whole goddamn race of Always Chaotic Evil sentient beings. Where's all that ~hopepunk~ ~ohhh it's about community gathering together (unlike Harry Potter which idk I guess the MC just did everything huh)~~ bullshit going to go then? Not that I think LotR is actually objectively bad, even though I tried to read it and didn't like it and never cared for the movies at all (they're just action movies. They're literally just action movies in a fantasy setting yall I'm glad you guys enjoy them but to me they're pretty goddamn boring 90% of their runtime) because I am a person capable of nuanced thought and acknowledgement of the concept that sometimes other people can find meaning and enjoyment in things that I myself do not without being objectively wrong!!!!!!!!

#i dont like pratchett either. kill me.#ive tried numerous times but its not creative and uplifting it's just. weirdly judgemental and full of itself.#kill me.#sorry im going crazy here but ive been sane on this blog for a while so ive earned it.#like shooting warning shots to keep rents down.#i dont think fictional lolicon or whatever is bad atually either. piss off.#just to clarify the goddamn situation here.#harry potter tw #hp tw #jkr tw #gods I fucking. hate jkr so much I want to bash my head against a wall.

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zoguy1 · 3 months

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Here's Flame and Mulberry!!

Flame was an OC my high school sweetheart came up with. He's a Sans x Grillby child.

Mulberry is a Swap!Sans x Fell!Sans ship child I made back in middle school. For whatever reason, I was obsessed with the Sanscest ship children. I think it was because I loved the idea of combining two character designs and fusing design motifs and whatnot.

Also, this Mulberry has no connection to Star-Beau's Mulberry. UT OC | MULBERRY + BIO by Star-Babu on DeviantArt. Complete coincidence that we both have CerryBerry children named Mulberry. Lol.

I've explained half of Mulberry's story in Calli's Pride Art.

Mulberry's story starts before he meets Calli. He canonically was just a child that spawned into existence, and Swap Sans was like "omg so cute! Fell Sans, can we keep him?" And Fell Sans was like "Bitch, why? We can barely afford food on the table." And Swap Sans was like "I'm gonna keep him anyway."

The reason why I chose the CherryBerry ship wasn't because I actually shipped these two. It was because I didn't see any popular CherryBerry children. Like, Ink x Error had Paperjam and Gradient. Ink x Dream had Palette. Geno x Reaper had Goth, and so on and so forth. So I believed that having a Swap Sans x Fell Sans would be well received. My actual opinion on the ship at the time was very meh. I liked Swap!Sans, I didn't like Fell!Sans very much. And that favoritism was obvious in this story. Lol.

Mulberry grew up with a normal-ish childhood. It was obvious that things weren't going great at home. But Mulberry didn't let it sway him at the time. He was a very sweet child. Very friendly and nice to his fellow peer group.

But things at home got progressively worse. Fell!Sans was pretty much the breadmaker of the house. He had to work double time to keep food on the table, and that piled onto an alcohol addiction he apparently had. Swap!Sans had a problem with this because Fell!Sans was pretty neglectful of Mulberry.

Arguments would pile up and one day, in a drunken rage, Fell!Sans severely injured Swap!Sans, ending up with him in the hospital, Fell!Sans loses custody of Mulberry, and Mul ending up in the care of Swap!Papyrus while Swap!Sans was recovering. Once Swap!Sans recovered, he moved in with his brother and that's where Mulberry lived by the time he meets Calli.

The only reason why this story had this child of divorce plot was literally that Mulberry was a Mary Sue, and I, like every young teenager, thought that giving him a tragic backstory would fix that. Now having gone to therapy for several years, I can see where little kid me came up with this story.

Tips for being a story writer: don't give your OCs trauma. Give yourself trauma and then project it onto your OCs. /j

Post Calli's adoption, Mulberry made some friends. One of them being Flamelight. Mulberry and Flame kind of became self-inserts for me and my at the time bf. So they were just pretty much a fluffy romance. I don't remember Flame having much of a story. He's a chill nerd who loves science and has anxiety.

When Mulberry and Flame grew up, Flame got his dad's restaurant, and Mulberry became a baker. having that passion since he was a kid. They have a child named Cambri Pepper who was close to his cousin Juniper.

I have a fondness for Mulberry because he was the first time I started posting my art and my OCs. I opened up an ask blog on Amino, and I had frequent engagement with it. It made me feel like I had something to give to the world, and that the world appreciated what I did.

I want to start up another ask blog at some point. Not now. But at some point.

Here's some Mulberry pictures I didn't share on Calli's Pride post. This is him with Parasplat.

Him with Nova.

A playlist I made, because I noticed that a lot of songs that reminded me of Mulberry were all candy, food, and comforty themed songs.

#original characters #undertale ship child #undertale oc #cherryberry ship child #swap sans x fell sans #cherryberry #ship child #sans x grillby #sans x grillby ship child #sansby #sansby child

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hanzajesthanza · 2 years

Text

songs to listen to at the end of the world // a playlist for a strange fellowship of idiots...

In your darkest dreams see to believe Our destiny is time And endlessly we'll all be free tonight!

[the album cover above flashes. see this post for an accessible, non-flashing version of the album art]

to celebrate reaching 500 followers, i wanted to share my hanza fanmix which follows their journey from their ambitious beginnings to their fated end. tracklist and song choice explanations under the cut (long post).

there are 23 songs for the 23 days in september before they became a hanza. (and of course, i included sapkowski's own song pick, dire straits' brothers in arms. because how could i not?)

tracklist: 1. It's The End of The World As We Know It - R.E.M. // 2. Highway to Hell - AC/DC // 3. Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel // 4. Out of Touch - Hall & Oates // 5. The Graveyard Near The House - The Airborne Toxic Event // 6. C'mon - Panic! at the Disco and fun. // 7. Brothers In Arms - Dire Straits // 8. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel // 9. Rubicon - Journey // 10. Through the Fire and the Flames (Slow) - Melodicka Bros (cover) // 11. Dream On - Aerosmith // 12. This Must Be The Place - The Mysteries of Life (cover) // 13. This Will Be Our Year - The Zombies // 14. Our House - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young // 15. Last Party - MIKA // 16. Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen // 17. Bat Out of Hell - Meat Loaf // 18. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty // 19. Through the Fire and the Flames - DragonForce // 20. The Four Horsemen - Metallica // 21. Gallowdance - Lebanon Hanover // 22. Free Bird (Edit) - Lynryd Skynyrd // 23. Battle of Olympus - Syd Matters

as is customary for my fanmixes, i will be explaining my song choices and how they relate to the canon plot below.

1. It's The End of The World As We Know It - R.E.M.

do you like how this song is about the end of the world, and yet it is the first song in the playlist? hmm? i'm clever, aren't i ;)

i chose this song not just for its chorus, "it's the end of the world as we know it, and i feel fine..." but actually because of a youtube skit which uses this song to depict a "2005 action movie"

this skit is peak regis and angoulême friendship tbh, but i have, luckily, assigned the dialogue from this skit to the members of the hanza:

[angoulême] he’s just a kid “can i go now?” “well maybe you shouldn’t have brought napalm to the science fair”

[regis. also milva] and she’s an alien who parasiticaly consumes the bodies of her hosts until they—

[all of them, but espcially geralt] “i didn’t sign up for saving the world!”

[milva. also regis] “i’ll teach you all about MKUltra if you teach me how to… be a— a teenage girl!”

[to the whole hansa, but especially geralt and dandelion] “are you two up to something 🤨”

[regis] “i enjoy eating human food :)”

[cahir] “have you ever read ronald reagan’s biography”

[angoulême, to regis] “wait… you’re an alien?!” (said at a comically late point in the movie when the character in question being an alien is part of the exposition in the first five minutes)

2. Highway to Hell - AC/DC

Goin' down Party time My friends are gonna be there too, yeah I'm on the highway to hell On the highway to hell

the hero's journey in an epic usually involves a descent into hell, the underworld, or some realm of death. i consider geralt's journey with his company to check this box because "hell" in this case is the warzone of the nilfgaardian invasion. to me, it can be seen as a commentary on what the equivalent of "hell" is in real life.

it's a characteristically energetic song, which contrasts with the matter of geralt traversing a warzone to try and rescue ciri, setting off from brokilon with no plan. and of course, "his friends are gonna be there too..."

3. Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

Well I don't know why I came here tonight I've got the feeling that something ain't right

continuing on from how geralt has no plan, only anguish, anxiety, and paranoia of ciri's current location and state...

Clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right Here I am stuck in the middle with you

the company is one made of clowns and jokers, and geralt is "stuck in the middle" of them. as the exchange between geralt and milva concerning cahir goes, "he's a madman..." "he'd suit this company perfectly..."

4. Out of Touch - Hall & Oates

yes, this is an out of touch thursday reference.

You're out of touch I'm out of time (time) But I'm out of my head when you're not around

geralt's lack of plan to save ciri = he's out of touch

ciri having already joined the rats = he's out of time

geralt's insanity regarding ciri = he's out of his head when she's not around

5. The Graveyard Near The House - The Airborne Toxic Event

You asked me if I thought We would ever die So I pictured us like corpses Lying side by side in pieces in some dark and lonely plot under a bough We looked so silly there, all decomposed, half turned to dust in tattered clothes Though we probably look just as silly now

continuing with the theme of the hanza being jokers, clowns, silly... travelling incognito, to avoid arousing suspicion - and laughter.

I can't pretend that I can tell you what is going to happen next or how to be But you have no idea about me Yeah, you have no idea about me Do you?

each member of the company has some backstory yet to be revealed (regis and milva chapter 7 of baptism of fire, angouleme and cahir ch 6 of tower of the swallow)

And it seems a little less profound Like we're all going the same way down Yeah, we're all going the same way down I'm just trying to write it all down

they are indeed fated to die, but it will be recorded in half a century of poetry...

6. C'mon - Panic! at the Disco and fun.

this is a holdover from the percy jackson / heroes of olympus fandom circa 2013... listen, give me a book with a group of lovable misfit friends and i'll be there, i suppose i'm predictable. this is the animatic by viria which has stuck with me all these years (obviously, spoilers for percy jackson / heroes of olympus if you haven't read that book series).

C'mon, c'mon, with everything falling down around me I'd like to believe in all the possibilities

again, the company comes together in the middle of a warzone, they're in the middle of the world falling down around them.

Celebrate the night, it's the fall before the climb Shall we sing, shall we sing, 'til the morning? If I fall forward, you fall flat And if the sun should lift me up, would you come back?

they should celebrate, because this is the happy part before they all die (apologies for my brusqueness - it's best to be straightforward). i mean, baptism of fire ch 5 VS lady of the lake ch 9. that's all there is to say about the rise before the fall, the fall before the climb.

7. Brothers In Arms - Dire Straits

the original, the canon, the namesake, the song chosen by sapkowski to preface chrzest ognia. the song is about the futility of war in general, so please apply it to those anti-war themes as well as the shared suffering and penance of the hanza.

Through these fields of destruction Baptisms of fire I've witnessed your suffering As the battle raged higher

And though they did hurt me so bad In the fear and alarm You did not desert me My brothers in arms

the bravery of the company triumphs during the battle of the bridge, refusing to desert milva, refusing to desert one another...

Now the sun's gone to hell The moon's riding high Let me bid you farewell Every man has to die

again, the hanza is destined to die

But it's written in the starlight And every line in your palm We're fools to make war On our brothers in arms

geralt and cahir over the bridge...

8. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel

i initially thought about adding this song as a joke (for the battle of the bridge), but i soon realized it fit very well.

When times get rough And friends just can't be found Like a bridge over troubled water I will lay me down

the whole premise of the company is that they are strange pieces that never planned to be together - they're not professionals, they're not expert trackers - they're strangers, random people geralt happened across in the middle of a warzone who wanted to help his cause. when he could find no one else to help him, they were there... over troubled waters...

9. Rubicon - Journey

i deliberately searched for a song about crossing the rubicon and was lucky enough to find a journey song (because you know it will be a banger if it's from journey).

a bit of roman history: julius caesar crossed the rubicon river, moving south into italy as a "point of no return" to the imminent civil war which awaited him and his forces in rome (this is where we get the saying, "the die has been cast.")

the narration of tower of the swallow remarks upon the crossing of the jaruga in a similar fashion - it had felt like a significant step in their journey towards the next stage. this river crossing is a point of no return for them.

10. Through the Fire and the Flames (Slow) - Melodicka Bros (cover)

i have included this song twice because it's very emblematic of the hanza. treat the version that shows up later in this playlist as a reprise.

The scattered souls will feel the hell Bodies wasted on the shore

On the blackest plains in Hell's domain We watch them as they go Through the fire and pain and once again we know!

this reminds me of how they journey through the fields and witness masses of refugees fleeing their torched homes with empty eyes...

So now we're flying we're free We're free before the thunderstorm On towards the wilderness Our quest carries on

this is their rise before the fall - they're free before the thunderstorm, continuing their quest, carrying on...

So far away we wait for the day For the lives all so wasted and gone We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days Through the fire and the flames we carry on!

they are far away from their destination right now, but press forth... and in the meantime, they in each other and in the war-torn landscape of fire and flame, find their redemption and lose their "pain of a lifetime"... all of their guilt and trauma washes away momentarily in the campfires and late-night discussions...

11. Dream On - Aerosmith

Yeah, I know nobody knows Where it comes and where it goes I know it's everybody's sin You got to lose to know how to win

again, themes of sin and loss appear - but this is also the introduction of a happier side of the coin... the theme of dreams.

Dream on Dream until your dream come true

12. This Must Be The Place - The Mysteries of Life (cover)

first of all, i have to apologize for using a cover and not using the original talking heads recording. however, this was a purposeful decision, as the song in its original recording is too powerful and too unique, it cannot be associated with the hanza or kept within any kind of fanmix.

Home is where I want to be But I guess I'm already there I come home, she lifted up her wings I guess that this must be the place

they say home is a person, not a place... though having a palace in beauclair doesn't hurt. "she lifted up her wings" could refer to anna henrietta providing them stay... and as fulko artevelde states, “anarietta (…) has a weakness for freaks, lunatics, and oddballs (…) who [she] gladly gives asylum to in her little fairy-tale land.”

I can't tell one from another Did I find you or you find me?

this is a time in their journey where the hanza finally gets some peace and are able to pause and reflect on what they have become, and what their destiny is.

13. This Will Be Our Year - The Zombies

The warmth of your love's Like the warmth from the sun And this will be our year Took a long time to come

this is just a generically feel-good song, a bit of triumph as they've made it out of the hellhole that was sodden, brugge, angren, and the north case.

And I won't forget The way you helped me Up when I was down

but they have been united because of their journey, their friendships forged in the fire of war.

14. Our House - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Our house is a very, very, very fine house with two cats in the yard Life used to be so hard Now everything is easy 'cause of you...

it's a wonderful dream, but is it real?

Play your love songs all night long for me, only for me

aaand a bit of a gerlion bias on my part. i can't help it.

15. Last Party - MIKA

If you could look into the future, would ya? If you could see it, would you even want to? I got a feeling that there's bad news coming But I don't want to find it out

the company can sense their impending deaths...

If it's the end of the world, let's party Like it's the end of the world, let's party And wrap your arms around everybody If we're all gonna die, let's party, let's party, let's party

but their stay in toussaint is their last dream before they awake. their last supper, in a sense... a paradise, a beautiful fantasy...

16. Thunder Road - Bruce Springsteen

Well now, I'm no hero, that's understood All the redemption I can offer, girl, is beneath this dirty hood With a chance to make it good somehow Hey what else can we do now? Except roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair Well the night's busting open These two lanes will take us anywhere We got one last chance to make it real To trade in these wings on some wheels Climb in back, heaven's waiting down on the tracks

mentions of not being meant to be a hero, but travelling onwards anyways, a limited amount of redemption, and the need to leave, to have one chance to "make it real" - leave the dream in toussaint and return to reality, where "heaven's waiting down on the tracks"

17. Bat Out of Hell - Meat Loaf

this is the first song that i imagined a whole hanza animatic to, so essentially every lyric in this song has a specific image associated with it... but to be more generalistic...

But I gotta get out, I gotta break it out now Before the final crack of dawn So we gotta make the most of our one night together When it's over you know we'll both be so alone

Like a bat out of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes Oh, when the night is over, like a bat out of hell I'll be gone, gone, gone

they MUST leave toussaint, and they must do it NOW - with the urgency they display in chapter 4 of lady of the lake.

I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram On a silver black Phantom bike Oh, when the metal is hot and the engine is hungry And we're all about to see the light

they "hit the highway like a battering ram," with this power and urgency - meeting geralt at the gate in one hour - and are "all about to see the light" - meet their destiny...

And I know that I'm damned if I never get out And baby, I'm damned if I do But with every other beat I got left in my heart You know I'd rather be damned with you Well if I gotta be damned, you know I wanna be damned Dancing through the night with you

... and they meet their destiny together. they're all damned either way, but they're damned, together.

18. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty

this is another holdover from the percy jackson / heroes of olympus fandom circa 2013... here is the animatic by viria...

I'm wakin' up at the start of the end of the world But it's feeling just like every other morning before

notice how "the end of the world" lyric and the "the world is ending, but i'm fine" attitude reprises from the first song in the playlist? i intended that :D

But I believe the world is burning to the ground Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out Let's see how far we've come

we just had to mention burning, didn't we...

Well I believe it all is coming to an end Oh well, I guess we're gonna pretend Let's see how far we've come

"pretend" could refer to their stay in toussaint, in the dream-like fantasy they held while living in the palace...

19. Through the Fire and the Flames - DragonForce

enjoy the epic reprise!

On a cold winter morning In the time before the light In flames of death's eternal reign We ride towards the fight

this first stanza IS their ride to stygga - on a cold winter morning, riding towards the fight...

We're banished from a time in a fallen land To a life beyond the stars

this line relates to exiting life and entering the realm of legend as heroes, remembered in story as geralt's company...

In your darkest dreams see to believe Our destiny is time And endlessly we'll all be free tonight!

toussaint was a dream, stygga is about to be a nightmare, where they'll meet their destiny.

see free bird later towards the end of the playlist for associations with the word "free."

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands We fought so hard, now can we understand

one of the lines geralt delivers in the soup scene in ch 5 of baptism of fire is "united by a common goal [ciri], which none of you understand." none of them understood their goal, ciri, when they struck out - but now, at stygga, they understand. with the blood on their hands, they've reached enlightenment.

20. The Four Horsemen - Metallica

By the last breath of the fourth winds blow Better raise your ears The sound of hooves knock at your door Lock up your wife and children now It's time to wield the blade For now you've got some company

i imagine this is what boreas mun and the others near the gate of castle stygga heard when the hanza approached.

The horsemen are drawing nearer On the leather steeds they ride They've come to take your life On through the dead of night With the four horsemen ride Or choose your fate and die

this reminds me of a line from the odyssey from the slaughter of the suitors, it's something like "they had no idea how tightly the net had been cast around them".

You've been dying since the day you were born You know it's all been planned

the hanza's deaths were planned since their initial appearances, at least there are clues which indicate so.

The quartet of deliverance rides A sinner once a sinner twice No need for confession now 'Cause now you have got the fight of your life

the themes of baptism of fire and tower of the swallow reprise, about guilt, penance, suffering... it's all coming together

i've also compared the hanza at stygga to the four horsemen of the apocalypse in other places, such as that little quiz i made, and here's what i think about them as they enter -

milva like pestilence, like lord apollo coming down from olympus with the arrows rattling in the quiver on his back, shooting down the greek camp in the beginning of the iliad

cahir like war, his nilfgaardian officer's helmet tells it all, if the large sword he was brandishing wasn't enough.

angouleme like famine, as she has starved many times before, and represents the remnants of a landscape destroyed by nilfgard

geralt like death (or time, in this case), his white hair, his finality. and he has the closest relation to ciri, who, after all as we know, is death or was death herself.

i didn't mention regis, because he's not on horseback when they enter the gate at stygga, he's the figure which lets them in. i suppose this gives him antichrist energies, a diagnosis that he'd probably be amused by.

21. Gallowdance - Lebanon Hanover

Dance with me the gallowdance For all the degradation is this land Dance with me the gallowdance As disorientated as you can

originally a song which i categorized for regis, i think the overall message of "dying together" is appropriate for the hanza; however, it does still bare some regis-like features - the genre and atmosphere, "dance" and "disorientated" serve to remind of the drunken state which leads to his death.

22. Free Bird (Edit) - Lynryd Skynyrd

If I leave here tomorrow Would you still remember me For I must be traveling on now 'Cause there's too many places I've got to see But if I stay here with you, girl Things just couldn't be the same

of course this song is a romantic one about the leaving of a lover, but i'm repurposing this song to be about the destined deaths of the hanza: they "must be travelling on now," they must die, if they "stay here" "things just couldn't be the same," if they continue to live, the story will not take place as it is intended to, as was foreshadowed and destined.

'Cause I'm as free as a bird now And this bird you cannot change

birds and death are often associated; at stygga, black rooks crowd the castle walls before the hanza enters the gate and the courtyard. death is "freeing," in many aspects, and these cannot be changed, these are their final ends, their destinies.

23. Battle of Olympus - Syd Matters

Way back in the warmth of '87 '78 We don't fear a black night as we're leaving heaven Close all the windows, put the TV on As the sun goes down

they fear nothing as they leave, they have been living in the "heaven" of toussaint but have left it. i originally misheard this lyric as "leaving heaven" and i'm rolling with that... closing the windows, they're now enveloped in darkness, in eternal sleep, the sun now sets on their journey, their destiny.

I swear I saw a fairy in the back of your garden But it was nothing at all for you to remember

ciri is referred to as a faerie by galahad, geralt and cahir see her in their dreams...

Cannot find the keys of my memory box Tell the time to stop and dry my teardrops Where have you been? I forgot what I've seen, even in my dreams

"dry my teardrops" reminds me of the prophecy regis received from the girl from the refugee camp remarked upon "when at the end (...) the tears dry, then will die the few left who remain." "i've forgot what i've seen, even in my dreams" reminds me of condwiramurs's labor of locating castle stygga as the final battle.

the song is soft, contemplative, and sad... it seems fitting to the tragic end.

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patchdotexe · 2 years

Text

OKAY. UM. so it's been Literally Like A Year Or Two since i last talked about Rescue in any detail (?!) so you guys get some unhinged rambling about furries

...UNDER THE CUT, BECAUSE THIS GOT LONG.

Sol, he/him: woke up one day in a weird abandoned lab with no idea how he got there or literally anything at all. and then found out that thanks to Dubious Science he is now unable to be killed. which is very cool except for the "i dont know where i am, apparently i've been missing for HALF A YEAR, and also now my blood is BLUE????" thing. originally stressed, sarcastic, and distrustful, but once he's in a safer environment he turns out to be warm-hearted if awkward and has trouble expressing his feelings. technically undead. Rescue's set in 2017ish so he's, like. 20. likes spicy food, space, and Sonic; dislikes bright red, jello, and sticky things.

Zyd, she/her: fellow lab experiment with a lot of knowledge on the projects the lab was undertaking before being abruptly abandoned. fills Sol in on the whole "yeah you can't be killed anymore, have fun with that" thing, has a more extreme form of it where she literally can't feel pain but regenerates super quickly. comes off as very self-confident and driven, but is actually exhausted and wants to go back to a normal life as much as Sol does. this rabbit has trauma. likes horror movies, loud music she can yell along to, and citrus; dislikes being touched (with exceptions), harsh noise, and shirts.

Tank, she/they/he: literally just kinda Shows Up, does terribly at getting in Sol's good books, and is just kinda running around Causing Problems on accident. initial impression of being airheaded and naive, but that starts to crack eventually bc it turns out they're an anxious mess with a super low opinion of herself. oops! also they broke in but are very avoidant on Why. manages to blunder her way into becoming good friends with Sol afterwards. likes rhythm games (bonds with Sol over them), speedcore, and shrimp; dislikes getting talked over, romcoms, and needles.

Monty, he/him: third member of the Lab Experiment Gang, although Sol doesn't get to meet him for a while due to Tank knocking things off course. chronically ill and willingly volunteered hoping it'd help, became friends with Zyd, and then things went Terribly Wrong. nonverbal. prefers communicating through text (they confiscated his phone). was a theater kid. i BARELY talk about him and he didnt pass the sexy lamp test for an uncomfortable amount of time despite his friendship with Zyd being incredibly important. likes gardening, Portal, and trashy YA fantasy; dislikes bananas.

CY, they/them: WHERE. IS MY ART OF THEM. DID I SERIOUSLY NOT SAVE RECENT STUFF INTO THE RESCUE FOLDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA okay uh. CY is a hostile AI and the reason why the lab got abandoned - everything's in lockdown until they can figure out how to neutralize them, which is difficult when they've basically evolved into a virus that's taken over the lab's network and is trying to break through to the outside world. there is a lot more to them but they're kind of a mess. could probably be a notITG SRT villain.

Griffin, he/him: android assistant that is completely unaware the lab is abandoned because, like. the experiments patients are still there! somebody's gotta look after them! was very much not programmed to handle any of this and so is constantly frazzled and would like everyone to stop trying to break out, please. would also like everyone to stop trying to break IN, PLEASE, YES THAT MEANS YOU TANK. Zyd is very friendly with him, Sol has no idea what to make of him, CY fucking hates him. he's a... cat... dragon.. robot... thing..?

Seb: they/them, was named Sandblast until literally 5 minutes ago (originally was a Soundscapes character so theyre named after a song but got ported into Rescue years ago and i. never changed their name). trying very, Very hard to balance Griffin out, not really succeeding. has a lot of guilt about basically everything and is just trying to keep everything running smoothly. quiet and nervous. Wow I Wonder Which Leo Designed This Guy (it was pat)

there's also at least 3 more guys but one of them doesn't have proper art yet (Aloe, "sibling" to Seb and just kinda vibing her way through the whole situation), one of them barely has info at all and might be a backstory character, and the third one needs a huge overhaul. i swear to god ill do proper work on anybody that isn't the main trio (sol/zyd/tank) and CY someday

#leo chirps #leos ocs #if you read all this: congrats! why????#this took me over an hour please clap #oc: sol mathonwy #oc: zyd #oc: monty #oc: CY #oc: griffin #oc: seb #oc: TK #running to your Rescue

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in-my-feels-probably · 1 year

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Hiii congrats on 1.5k! ♡♡♡

I'm requesting for an option one:

✨so to participate for this one, all you have to do is give me a character from a fandom and why you picked them, and any information about yourself you want to give me, and i’ll write you a blurb and tell you why i think your chosen character would like you.✨

And I'm choosing James Potter simply bc his characterization on both fanon and canon is interesting in general. I love his sunshine personality, the sheer arrogantconfident attitude and the love and adoration he has for his friends (the man became an animagus for his bsf and died for his wife and child ffs),, and honestly the description "it was james who had an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it" that sold it to me. I also kinda have a thing for cute confident guys in glasses and messy curls maybe but let's ignore that

About me,, so I consider myself a stem girly (studied bio and I'm working in a lab atm), I'm sorta a black cat person, an introvert, and I have this tendency of keeping to myself most times, I'm consider the weird, chubby, quiet art kid bc i love arts (like doodling and sketching) and I also like singing along to songs when I'm working on things,,, I had like a phase where I kept changing hair colors monthly and my current style is a bit modernized vintage 70s outfits and casual corporate wear bc sometimes I like exuding the energy of a strong independent woman who can do great things bc I consider myself as one!!

I think that's all for me,, thanks so much and congrats again!! ♡

hi!

thanks for participating :)

(first of all, that’s one of my favorite quotes from atyd omg)

i think james would be drawn to you just because you’re a lot different than he is. he’d find you fascinating, and he’d make it a point to get to know you. he’s a very social and easygoing person, and i don’t think he does very well on his own. one of his main love languages is definitely quality time. but while i think he’s a social person, i do think he also gets a little burnt out. everyone relies on him to be the positive one, and it would be hard on him always being that person for everyone else when no one would be it for him. with you, he’d never feel like he had to put on a front. you’d be easy to calmly talk to and open up to, and he wouldn’t feel like he needed to entertain you or keep the conversation going. you’d be content to have a quiet day with him if he wanted one, and he would never say no to getting to spend time with you.

he would find your interest in art really endearing. whether that be in the way you expressed yourself through clothes, the songs he’d catch you singing to yourself, or your sketches you’d show him. james is a very talented person, but i don’t think he’s a very artistic person. so he’d think it was really cool that you were, and he’d always be up for hearing about it. he’d also think your interest in science is cool. he’s smart in a certain sense and gets passable grades, but being a top performing student isn’t really that high on his list of priorities. your education being important to you would show him that you’re really driven and hardworking, and he’d be really proud of all the effort you put into things.

—

he’d also definitely pick you as his partner in potions because of your skill in the lab.

he’d watch over your shoulder as you mixed ingredients into the cauldron, slightly bewildered at how nonchalantly you were reading through your textbook and brewing the potion with ease. every once in a while you’d look up and ask him to help you, or you’d explain what you were doing as you worked.

sirius would gripe from the adjacent table where he was sitting on his stool, in a temporary timeout from remus because he’d somehow already managed to fuck up their potion.

“it’s no fair! how come you get the good partner and im stuck with moony? he won’t even let me touch the cauldron.”

you’d chuckle, continuing to read through the instructions. “i wouldn’t either. i’m barely letting james help.”

“hey!” james would say, feigning offense as he threw an arm around your shoulder. “i’ll have you know i’m very helpful. one of us has to carry the ingredients all the way over from the shelf and back. what would my mum say if i let you do all the heavy lifting?”

“yes, how very chivalrous of you,” you’d tease, leaning into his side.

he’s grin down at you, passing you another jar of ingredients as he read the textbook over your shoulder. “i know. that’s just the kind of guy i am. i’m all about teamwork, love. a joint effort and all that.”

“sure you are, potter.”

you’d playfully roll your eyes, taking the jar from his hand. he’d continue watching in silence as you worked, resting his chin on your shoulder.

—

thanks again for participating! sorry this is a little short, i hope you enjoyed it :)

#harry potter #followers celebration #marauders #james potter #1.5k followers #1.5k followers celebration #1500 followers

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multitrackdrifting · 1 year

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your stuff makes me want to make stuff too. i don't even know what i want to make but i want to just do something and post it because i can! it's the joy of just making stuff because we're people and people make stuff. sometimes things in life aren't about money or popularity. wish more people understood that about life

readmore just bc its a long response

yeah i'm kinda at the point where like yeah sure i can get a bag working really hard and never having free time, but nothing makes me feel like a zombie more than working 50 hrs a week plus 15 hours commute total and then just having [good] money and no time to express myself creatively or do anything i feel happy with. its common in a lot of different sectors, but i digress

i just want to make something i feel proud of - lot of people can find that in being super successful and others being envious of how much they make, what car they drive and all this other stuff and its like i don't want to be part of this rat race - i want to convey something i felt was important at some point in my life

i have really bad adhd, i've had it my whole life basically but i only sort of overcame the stigma fairly recently (for myself, not others) and started getting help and all that but before that, I started these videos as a matter of ethic back in july of '22. i made a joke post just saying "thinking abt becoming a video essay guy" thats floating around here with a few thousand notes, then i just did it. I thought to myself that if I can make one video every two weeks then I can beat this thing, while I can actually do that, coming home and having three hours free and hten spending 2.5h staring at a wall was getting a bit unsustainable so after a while i had to deal with that BUT

the fulfilment I get out of making something I feel proud of even if it's not 100% true to my vision, it's better than anything I ever learned in multiple college degrees, or even my job. as a kid i planned to be an artist ( i used to draw and everything), but i just became really disillusioned over time with my own skills and didn't put in the ethic to overcome that feeling. making videos is something i've always done since a lot of my popular edits still get reposted to twitter a lot, but making one that was just about something i'm trying to convey is new. i haven't been a writer for long but i've always been good at public speaking, so i figure, why not combine that untapped skillset and combine them together which brings me to where i am now.

of course, there's this tug of war that's like "liking your job is a privilege" and it is, i agree, but that doesn't mean i should feel miserable at work for the rest of my life - and making stuff im passionate about in a video makes me happier than doing a good job for a client even if i work really hard at that too.

if i can make one person happier with my videos and the only person is me, then i know i already achieved my goal by doing right by myself - that is basically how i try to live. i'm surrounded by plenty of amazing and hardworking people, their ethic and efforts make me want to make stuff all the time too.

you're right anon, people like to make stuff - i guess that's why life feels kind of whack after art class stops being mandatory in school. took it until 10th grade then stacked everything into science and math (clueless).

#asks

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randomclicheusername · 2 years

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Image: unknown

The Battle of the Velmas

Before I start uttering a single syllable, I should remind you of the wise words of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Repeat to yourself its just a show, I should really just relax.

Whether it’s comics, movies, shows or whatever it is, it’s just what it is. A show.

I don’t care that Velma is a person of color. More representation is needed in all forms of media. I prefer new original characters rather than an original character being race swapped. But then again’ I’ve seen kids face light up when they see themselves reflecting in any media and that trumps everything else within my eyes. Thus, to me it’s not a big deal.

What’s a big deal is the mischaracterization of an established character. I get perhaps tweaking a character to match the changes culturally and respectfully while still maintaining the essence of said character.

Which brings me to the new “Velma” show.

Velma doesn’t feel like Velma. The scoobie gang don’t feel like the characters we’ve come to know over the decades. That’s a valid creative choice but one I find will have many detractors.

It’s the same art style and humor as the Harley Quinn show. Even if the characters are heavily parodied from the source material… they’re still recognizable and familiar.

I think the “Velma” missed the mark on that. I hope that if the show continues they’ll be able to find a compromise of their vision and aligning on the familiarity of establish characters. Even if it’s an opportunity to flip expectations.

And no, I’m not bother by the lack of the famed dog that tends to be the centerpiece of the franchise. He could be introduced later down the line or whatever.

At the end of the day, I’m passing on this show. I hope for its success and hopefully course corrects itself to the satisfaction of all parties involved.

If you don’t want to watch the show then don’t. The previous shows featuring these characters still exist and can be watched.

If the show is giving you that much stress then relax, as it’s just a show. Hate-watching a show just sounds like mental self-harm and a waste of time.

Plus, you’re boosting ratings by hate watching.

There’s valid critiques surrounding the show and I’m sure the creators will be receptive. And they’ll be receptive because they’ll want their show to be a success and it’s brutal out there in the industry as a show is lucky to even air its pilot episode.

The show became the streamer’s most-watched animated series debut ever. It makes sense why a Season 2 was green-lighted. Granted, it’s reviews are stinkier than a literal rotten tomato.

Rotten tomatoes has the critics giving it a 55% rotten score while the audience score is a nice low 6%. The online chatter hasn’t been all flowers and birds since the show is being eviscerated by those online. Whether justifiable or not.

I think season two needs to course correct but even if the creators make the necessary changes, would it be too late? Would enough if the audience move on to where the show just fades into memory and becomes a cautionary tale?

Again, I think the premise is interesting. Changing the appearances of the characters isn’t a big deal to me nor the lack of the dog. I think they missed the mark on the characters and they can adjust enough to not lose their vision.

It’s a good show in my opinion. It’s not a show I have interest in watching personally but that’s okay. I still want it to succeed and I think Mindy Kaling vision is valid and with a few tweaks, could get everyone else on board.

If Kaling wants to stick with her vision without compromise then that’s her right as a artist and creative. She’s incredibly talented enough to make the show work and the show will find it audiences. If the pre-sequel Star Wars movies can fan an audience to live their films then “Velma” can find its audience too.

It may just take a while.

All I know is that it’s going to take more than a scoobie snack for people to give Season 2 a chance.

#scooby gang #scooby movies #velma the series #velma hbo max #classicshows #murder mystery #mystery machine #opinion #fypツ #rotten tomatoes

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pixeldistractions · 5 months

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So Maria and Johanna became frequent patrons of the arts center. Maria worked on her new hobby, and Johanna expanded her social circles with all the new kids she met there. Spitfire as she may be, Johanna could also be very friendly. Each time Maria came to pick her up from the kiddie corner, she seemed to have made a new friend.

Today she was talking with a boy at the science table.

When he turned around, Maria gasped.

“His name is Milo,” Johanna announced, and Maria was grateful for that information because she hadn’t met the twins enough times to know which boy was which. It was shocking how much he looked like his dad. Looking at his face made her heart hurt.

He looked at Maria funny for a minute. “Oh, hey, aren’t you the kitchen lady from my dad’s work?” Then he added sadly, “I mean, his old work.”

The kitchen lady. Maria laughed. He wasn’t wrong. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“He doesn’t work there anymore,” Milo said, “but I guess you probably know that. You made me a grilled cheese once when I came to the hotel after school. It was really good.”

“You can’t go wrong with grilled cheese. You know, your dad is my best friend.”

“Oh, weird.” Milo made a mystified face. Not in a bad way, but like he’d never considered his dad having a best friend before.

Maria was totally unsure how much she should or shouldn’t meddle here. She should probably mind her own business, but she knew too much and she cared too much. Jordan told her about the confiscated phone and how he hadn’t been allowed to talk to his kids for three days. She knew Jordan was upset about it, and it looked like Milo was, too. Maria loved Jordan, and Milo came from Jordan, which meant that her love extended to him, even if they didn’t know each other very well yet. Her heart ached for them both.

“He can’t wait to talk to you again,” she said.

There was a small panic on the boy’s face. “Oh, I have to do all my homework before I’m allowed. But I can’t do it.”

“Why can’t you do it?”

“‘Cause fractions are really hard, and my mom can’t help because she’s always working. My dad is really good at fractions, because you need fractions for building stuff. But he can’t help me now because he’s gone.”

Oh, sweet boy. Maria wanted to hug him, but that would have been totally weird, so she didn’t. But she had an idea. “Wait, what if he can help you? Do you have your homework here?”

“Yeah, It’s in my backpack.”

“Hang on just a second.” Maria stepped around the corner to make a phone call.

It was 4pm, still too hot in the desert for climbing and late enough for work to be done. Chances were decent that Jordan would be free. She often called him at this time of day.

And he picked up.

“I have to show you something,” she said. She pointed her camera at the kiddie corner where Johanna and Milo were still chatting. “Look who JoJo found at the arts center. Do you think they remember each other from the hotel? It’s probably been a while since they were both there at the same time. But JoJo just walked up to him and they started chatting.”

“And they’re getting along?” Jordan asked.

“Like peanut butter and jelly.”

“That’s so funny. It’s great, really. One less thing to stress about, huh? I kind of wondered if they would get along. Is Felix there too?”

“It doesn’t seem like it. Just Milo,” Maria said. “So, I don’t know if I’m overstepping here. I probably am, and you can let me know if this is a terrible idea, but do you want to talk to him?”

Jordan only thought about it for a second before answering. “Yeah, I do.”

Maria brought the phone over to Milo, and seeing his father’s face on the screen, Milo lit up. His mother would be angry about this, but Maria didn’t feel like she’d done something wrong.

Milo got out his homework, and Maria propped the phone up on the table. Then she left them to it. She didn’t want to eavesdrop.

“But I want a turn talking to Jordan,” Johanna whined.

“You had a turn last night. Tonight it’s Milo’s turn. It’s really important. You can talk to me instead.”

“But I always talk to you.”

“Don’t you like talking to me?”

“Yeah, you’re still my favorite.”

Maria hugged her baby, feeling lucky for this one thing. Nobody would ever come between her and this little girl. “Thanks, baby.”

“But when we’re playing animals, Jordan is my favorite.”

Maria laughed. “Oh, okay. That’s fair.”

Over in the kitchen area, Jordan and Milo were having a happy little chat. They talked about school, video games, and how his brother was at a student council meeting after school. They talked a little bit about math, but that wasn’t the only thing they talked about. They didn’t talk about Colette. And Milo especially liked to hear that Jordan planned to visit Wisconsin in December.

He didn’t quite understand, though.

“You’re coming home? Mom got a new couch, it sucks. Or if you want, you can have my bed and I’ll sleep in the living room. The couch isn’t that bad.”

Oh, the heartbreak Jordan had to deliver. Milo didn’t understand that they wouldn’t all live under one roof like the seemingly happy family they pretended to be. It would never be like that again.

“No, I’m sorry, buddy. You’re gonna keep your bed. I can’t sleep in that house anymore. But maybe your mom will let you stay over in the camper with me on the weekend. Someday she will. But, for now, we’ll hang out a lot. We’ll see movies. We’ll go skateboarding. We’ll do whatever you want.”

Jordan felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world and there weren’t enough promises to make up for it. “Let’s talk about those fractions, huh?”

After about an hour, Milo brought Maria’s phone back. It was okay that they took an hour. Maria hoped that they had a good long chat and weren’t talking about fractions the whole time.

And Lord help her if—no, when—Colette ever found out about what she had orchestrated here. Maria was a dead woman walking.

“Thanks, um, Maria, right?”

Better than the kitchen lady. “Yeah, any time.”

“Well, I gotta go now. My mom’s picking me up in a minute.”

Pray for me, Maria thought.

— from “boxes and squares #4.2: then have some faith” (3/5)

footnotes from previous stories: Jordan is the neighborhood dad

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multishipper001 · 6 months

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I used to hate math as a kid.

I knew it was necessary for a lot of reasons, but STILL. It was difficult, it was sophisticated, it was boring, and most importantly, the people who loved math were the most insufferable people you could ever have the misfortune to meet.

They knew that being good in math is some awesome thing, because the majority just sucks in it, so they held their chin up, prideful, mocking, and claimed that math and science subjects are worth more than any literature or language class.

Our classes were soon divided to two groups, and one constantly belittled the other.

I thought the same for years. I truly didn't understand why in the world would anyone like math if they don't have some natural talent for it, even though I saw plenty of people around me who liked solving difficult problems just for fun, even if they were bad at math.

I loved humanities & art because they focused on people : of individuals, of feelings, of trying to understand others better. Math was just statistics and cold facts, every individual being able to be reduced to nothing but a number, and I sincerely despised how soulless the entire subject was.

Then, years later, facing the same division of humanities & art vs. science subjects, I think I understand the conclusion now, which is this :

[warning : long ass rant incoming]

I used to have a science teacher at high school, who was fantastic. Not because everyone became a genius who attended his class (if it wasn't for cheating I would've failed tbh), but because of love.

He loved what he was teaching, and he loved his students. He wanted to make us love the subject too - but now, why on earth would a class of burnt out 16 year olds give a shit about physics? It's hard, it has math in it, it's difficult, and everyone's tired from the 60 other subjects they're expected to learn and perform with the best possible grades.

So, he made us love it.

He played around in the classroom, made a joke about verbal tests so the students don't feel pressured when they answer, tried his best to make his examples "closer to the younger generations", using the worst Internet slang all the time... He memorised a terrible joke for every lecture, then asked someone if they know how it goes, and had the greatest delight when the entire class groaned in union after finishing it.

I hated physics, but I loved physics class, and I became more interested in it, not because I magically woke up one day and started to like it, but because someone who loved it took the effort and time to make us, his students, love it too.

On the other hand :

I went to uni with the determination to avoid math and subjects that could have anything to do with it at all cost.

I succeeded, started working for my bachelor's degree - everything went great so far.

Now, there was this poetry analysis class, which sounds just as bad as you'd imagine it to be. It was mandatory to attend, the grade had a huge weight in your degree later, so it was important to perform as good as possible, or you're fucked.

Enter the teacher : an almost 50 year old man, an incel who's bitter about life and not having a woman, and who absolutely hates people. Like, in general.

It's not like he told us this himself, but anyone could figure it out after spending at least five minutes in his class.

He was :

Misogynistic

Racist

A sadist

Homophobic

Fatphobic

Ableist

I could probably go on and create a longer list, but I only had the capacity and willpower in me to attend 2 of his classes, then skipped for the rest of the semester, failing be damned. I'd rather get a degree a year later than to spend a minute more being in the same room with this sorry excuse of a man.

(I think anyone could guess, but you can imagine how he behaved if I could write such a "pretty" list of his shit traits after just two classes spent in his presence.)

Now, this man, he was very much aware of the fact that his class is an important one. He knew that you can't continue learning in one specific field if you don't attend this lecture, and he was absolutely drunk on the feeling of power that gave him over the life of his students.

The fucker knew that no matter how terrible he behaves, you have no chance to avoid him. That he could say the vilest things to you, have the most unreasonable demands, and you, as a student in a vulnerable position, have no choice but to obey.

He was starting a fight for the smallest things — he started screaming, and by that I mean shouting from the top of his lungs, when a kid sitting before me accidentally dropped her pen to the ground. It was during the lecture, and he snapped his head back, and screamed "Who was it? Who did this?!" as if someone just committed a crime. The poor girl raised her hand, and after mocking her, he started talking about how to put your pen to the table for it to not fall off in a belittling, degrading tone, just to humiliate her.

He spent a good ten minutes with just this. Nobody gave a shit about that damn pen aside from him. Nobody was disturbed. It fell on accident, it could happen to anyone, it's not a big deal.

But he still decided to be an asshole about it.

I got screamed at for taking notes in his class. And no, you weren't allowed to take pictures of the board, he didn't upload a PowerPoint anywhere, give you some textbook or fucking anything to learn from, you couldn't record his voice... He seriously expected you to know his subject naturally, because - and these are his words - anyone who doesn't understand his subject is retarded.

Oh, and he had a complete raging fit because our classroom had a ramp for disabled students, and it was "bothering him while writing on the board".

That piece of shit-

He lectured about properly "analysing" poetry, which means that he dragged down the genres he doesn't like (like romantic poetry, since he's a single loser), and said that no matter what a poem is about, if the rhythm and verification isn't "AcADemiCaLLy cOrrEct" , it's worth nothing more than trash.

You couldn't, hell, you WEREN'T ALLOWED TO pay attention to what the fucking poem was about. No, all that mattered was how you can analyse it, tear it to bits, fit it into a little box of what's considered "perfect".

It took the whole soul, the entire meaning out of poetry.

You can fucking bet on it, that unless the writer isn't such a "scholar genius" like this man (he said this about himself btw), a writer cares about how the rhythms and rhymes align in their work THE LEAST.

If they care at all, that is.

No fucking poet goes "Oh sorry baby 🥺 I wanted to write a romantic poem about what you mean to me, but your name doesn't fit into iambic verification, and our relationship doesn't remind me of any intellectual theme that I could make a metaphor about, which would make the poetry analysing scholars a hundred year later claim my writing to be a masterpiece. I hope you understand 🥺"

Like BITCH-

The conclusion of these stories : one subject isn't better than the other. What makes it count is love. Be it for the subject, the students, other experts from the field, it doesn't matter.

Just let love be present.

And don't be an asshole like my poetry teacher. That's also important.

Thanks.

#rant #once again #about love #story time #education #university #high school #Fuck my poetry teacher #You're an ASSHOLE sir

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