#I guess it can be handwaved with A Great Old One Did It and maybe they actually are reading old english but like. It is a VERY differen

[lonepower]

time for part 2 of Pet Peeves That Bother Literally Only Me Personally And Would Actually Be An Active Hindrance To Cater To

[phoenixyfriend]

Rey Gives No F*cks About the Grandfather Paradox

Okay so since nobody’s suggested a fic under these terms, I ended up expanding on this post on discord and things snowballed. We kept to the basics of the entire plot revolving around Rey really hating her grandad and leveraging her blood relation to not be unalived about it.

With contributions by @atagotiak​, @dracothulhu​, @thepallaspalace​, and several others. The title comes from @gelpenss​.

The basic thing I absolutely need is this: Rey gets thrown back to the middle of the clone wars, and the subsequent plot leans in really heavily on her being, genetically-via-clone-dad, the daughter of the guy running the entire galaxy.

Nobody knows what to do with her.

The timing is mid-TCW for the past (because I want Ahsoka there) and vaguely between Episodes 8 and 9 because I... never watched E9 and don’t want to worry about the timeline. The only things that matter is that Luke is dead (he can die as he did in canon) and that Rey knows she’s Palp’s granddaughter (not the way she does in canon).

We'll say Luke found out from Anakin's panicked force-ghost and just went "well, fuck, okay, I should tell her this before she ends up in a situation like mine and finds out mid-battle or something."

Luke, prior to time-travel: Okay, so, now that I'm dead I know some things I didn't before. Like who your parents were. In the interest of full disclosure because I was in a very similar situation and I don't want you learning the way I did, I'm just going to come right out and say that your father was a clone was Sheev Palpatine. Rey: ... Luke: Are you okay? Rey: I don't know who that is.

(She grew up on Jakku, the history education was a little subpar.)

Setting The Scene

Imagine Rey showing up during or immediately before the clone wars. There’s this phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater who tells you that if you ran a paternity test, it would probably pop up the Chancellor. She may or may not bring up cloning. She accuses said Chancellor of being a Sith Lord.

Your other phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater, who may not be a teenager anymore but only barely, is very offended by this because Palpatine’s a Very Nice Old Grandfather Figure, but also he’s a little full of side-eye because if the blood test comes back as proof, then Palpatine had a kid and didn’t even know about them, or lied to Anakin, and that’s! Bad! Family’s important!!!

Palpatine hears about this daughter he apparently? Has? And is very confused because the timing doesn’t match up with ANYTHING he was doing, so the kid isn’t natural, and he says as much. (There is an explanation! It’s not a correct explanation, but he does come up with one.)

Finn and Poe and BB-8 all get dragged along because why not have the gang there? Nobody that’s already born, because [handwave] conservation of souls or something, IDK, point is the only person dragged along that’s even remotely close to already existing is Luke’s Force Ghost, who mostly hangs around begging Rey to be less impulsive. Finn is good because he is a nice polite boy, but for actual useful information they need Poe. The unfortunate situation is that the three do not land together. They land at the same time, in completely different corners of the galaxy. This means that nobody is there to curb Rey being her most impulsive self.

Time travel Rey knows two things. Luke’s dad ends up evil. Palpatine has always been evil.

She can solve one of these problems by killing the other, yes?

Rey: Ready to Rumble

See, the initial idea was this: Rey tried to break into the senate to kill Palpatine, got arrested, and then used the "he's biologically my father" card to get out of jail free. (Force Ghost Luke follows her like “please take five seconds to think this through.”)

But.

But.

It would be very, very, very funny if The Force just dumps her in a flash of light in the senate building and she just attacks Gramps on sight. Just a shouted "YOU!" and no-hesitation attempted murder.

Palpatine has no idea what's going on.

Rey took maybe two seconds to get identity confirmation and then started swinging.

[Image Description: An individual in a green metal helmet with an eye slit, holding a pistol. In the upper left, upper right, and lower middle are the phrases “I do not know who I am...” “I don’t know why I’m here” and “All I know is that I must kill.” End description.]

Of course, she gets arrested. There are Master Jedi in the Senate. There are Clone Troopers. Palpatine isn’t the weak old man he pretends to be. Of course she’s stopped.

But she isn’t executed in time for Palpatine to stop her from ruining his entire reputation.

Immediately after Rey fails to kill her Shitty Granddad, Luke's ghost shows up and begs her to not talk about the Sith thing because it will completely undermine everything she's trying to do. Pass off the attempted murder as something else!

Rey, panicking: "that fucker left me on a desert planet for 10 years!" "You owe me 19 years of child support you son of a Hutt!"

The Jedi have to do the investigation, because the girl showed up with a laser sword, and the conversation is, uh... interesting. (“Where did you get that lightsaber?” “I got it from a mysterious old pirate lady I never met before. I don't know, I was being shown around by a smuggler and a Wookie.”)

Interviewer: Why did you try to assassinate the Chancellor? Luke: Say it wasn't assassination. Rey: It wasn't assassination. Int: You weren't trying to kill him? Luke: Assassination has to be politically motivated. Rey: This was, um... not political. Assassination is political, right? Int: You mean this was personally motivated? Rey: Yes. Int: I see. What personal motivation? Luke: Jakku! Rey: He's my grandfather. Int: ... Rey: Possibly father. Nobody was very clear on that. Int: ... Luke: Tell them to run a paternity test. Rey: Oh hey, a blood test would tell us which, right? Int: ............ Rey: I spent ten years as an orphaned scrapdealer on Jakku. He's my father. I'm kind of a little angry. Int: ........... Luke: Good job, kid. You bought yourself some time. Int: I'm going to get a medic to see about that parternity test.

Obviously, it comes back positive. Congratulations, Sheev, you’re the father.

Rey comes with a ready-made built-in excuse for hating Palpatine that nobody can question or fault her for!

Rey, pouring Truth into the Force: I didn't even know I was related to the Chancellor until a few months ago, but it's his fault I grew up the way I did, and he should take some responsibility!

The entire thing is mostly kept hush hush but someone leaks it to the press and Palpatine's ratings tank.

"Chancellor, I think we'll need to waive family visitation until she wants you a little less dead." "I would like to find out why she wants me dead, and indeed, where she came from." "...sir, for your own safety--"

Who would win? A master plan years in the making spanning decades of manipulating and work? or One (1) paternity test

"Okay, so, Rey Palpat--" "Ew, no, I don't want his name." "You--okay. Sure, we can understand that. Is there a name you would prefer to put on the paperwork?" Rey, who would have gone by Skywalker in honor of Luke but can't do that when Anakin is right there and all: "Can I think about it?"

Rey: I don't know what I want my last name to be but I know I don't want his, and most of the people I’d want a name from have famous families like you... Luke's ghost, pointing out the Literal Nobody that she cares about a lot: How about Solo? Rey: ...Solo, then.

(A few months later she runs into Poe again and he offers for Finn and Rey to both take his name because honestly they need SOMETHING but at that point she’s already decided on Smuggler Dad.)

Backtrack a bit. We’ve got a bigger cast.

They all arrive separately. Poe, for one, does better than Rey, who is aiming for a murder, but not quite as well as Finn, who is currently being adopted and hidden like a secret cat by a bunch of Alpha Clones on Kamino. He vibes with the names-or-numbers thing. He doesn’t necessarily tell them where and when he’s from, but he’s very sweet and a great liar and they adopt him wholesale anyway.

The Finn situation is just... "Buir Ti, we need you to hide this man, we've decided he's our little brother but if Nala Se finds out she'll make him leave."

Of course, this leads into Shaak Ti teaching Finn how to Jedi.

Maybe consider Finn needing to almost be tricked into learning Jedi things because he willfully forgets it could apply to him. Finn does not like to think of himself as special, which is super valid, but frustrating for Shaak Ti when it comes to, you know, getting him to acquire knowledge. Finn's training at some point is "here, levitate objects with the Force to entertain the tubies." It’s a lot easier to convince him to practice when it involves the babies.

(Everyone on Kamino looked at Finn and went “oh I love him I’m keeping him and teaching him things.”)

(He’s just very lovable.)

Poe, meanwhile, buys the trust of Anakin Skywalker via R2D2 declaring BB-8 the absolute most baby of droids. R2D2 met BB-8 three hours ago but.

"Hey Obi-Wan this is Poe I met him like five days ago but R2D2 says he checks out because his droid is a baby." "That's nice, Anakin, did you know the Chancellor has a daughter who tried to assassinate him in broad daylight yesterday? Because guess who had to stop the Chancellor from getting assassinated by his daughter in broad daylight yesterday."

A summary so far:

Finn, on Kamino: Hey, um, I don't know where this is, but it's not where I was a few minutes ago. Do you think you could get me a comm? What's your name? Poe, on [dice roll] Denon: Oh, hey, you're General Skywalker? Nice to meet you, I'm so sorry about my droid, she's a little excitable and thought your R2 unit looked like a friend of hers-- Rey, on Coruscant: DIE, GRANDFATHER

Finn: [Peacefully vibing on Kamino, unaware of the chaos and bonding with the clones] Poe: [Trying to explain how he knows someone who tried to kill the chancellor and defend Rey] Rey: [Arrested for trying to kill the chancellor]

Just... just...

Anakin: Some guy ended up lost on base yesterday with his droid, how’s your day going? Obi-Wan: I had to stop someone who claims to be the chancellors daughter from murdering the chancellor after she seemingly blinked into existence in the Senate building. Poe: 😐

(Poe: Oh, so that's where Chaos^2 went.)

Poe: In her defense, she is his... well we don't know if she's his daughter or granddaughter, but she's definitely related to him, and she definitely grew up in a shitty situation that was his fault, so...

(Poe is trying very hard to explain this and not get arrested on the military base.)

As you’ve probably guessed, what's especially funny about all of this for me is the fact that Palpatine is fully aware that this girl shouldn't exist, but can't find a single piece of evidence about where she came from. He didn't start any experiments that could result in a female child, and he didn't have sex in that period of time, so where the hell--

Rey spends so much time in jail... BUT they do eventually assign her a Jedi Master. Possibly before she actually proves her evil grandfather is in fact evil. Most votes went to either Plo Koon or Obi-Wan. Plo, because he’s dad-shaped, and Obi...

"Obi-Wan, you already raised one feral desert child with implausible amounts of power, you handle this." Rey in return is very "Sweet, you vaguely remind me of Master Luke," and nobody knows who the hell she's talking about. Obi-Wan is NOT on board with this plan, she'd really be better off with Plo or like........ Mace.

Reunion Tour

What I need out of this is the eventual Finn and Rey reunion scene that is just excited screaming while someone in the background explains to Shaak Ti that yes this is apparently Palpatine's terrifyingly force-sensitive daughter who hates him.

(Finn senses Rey’s approach and just. Gathers the everyone to wait. He’s just :D REY MY FRIEND REY GUYS MY FRIEND REY IS COMING.)

Anakin shows up with Poe--just a guy who signed on to the military, no big deal--and then Poe and Rey are EXCITED and everyone's just like "Cool, how do you know this literal terrorist child?" And Poe has to scramble and "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh she saved my droid from a scrapheap once and BB-8 is basically my child so I owe her one."

Rey knows that Anakin ends up evil so she’s maybe not actively hostile but definitely very “I’m watching you.” That said, she vibes with him on a lot of things that he maybe doesn’t actively notice.

Rey picks up a snake, snaps off the head for venom avoidance, and starts biting off chunks. Obi-Wan's reaction: [undisguised horror] Anakin and Ahsoka: Ooh, where'd you find that? (Obi-Wan: And now I’m up to three feral children.)

What Does Palpatine Even Do?

OBVIOUSLY at a certain point, Palpatine is just phoning up every ally he has to figure out who broke protocol to synthesize a daughter for him.

So of course, Palpatine blame Plagueis.

She'd have been born five or so years before Naboo, just a few years younger than Anakin. It's such an EASY theory to build a conspiracy around. It is ENTIRELY WRONG, but it’s plausible! And anyone who might have been involved to say otherwise is probably dead!

A random bio-kid shows up you can’t possibly have contributed genes to? Maybe it’s the evil bio spark that did it.

Palpatine tries to placate her with the ‘my genes were stolen for an experiment and I didn’t know’ thing. It doesn’t work because her actual main complaint is he’s evil in her future but he tries.

It'd be a struggle to even get access to her, because of the aforementioned “maybe don’t try to talk to the daughter(?) that hates you” thing, but you know who Palpatine does have access to? The Chosen One.

Rey kind of decides on her favorites early on (she gravitates to Dad Energy and Sad Old Men so Plo and Obi-Wan are on her list, and that means decent time around Anakin and Ahsoka). It's really easy to talk Anakin into helping to some degree because "he'd like to connect to a daughter he never knew" and "a child of her power on a planet like that, you'd know her struggle, my dear boy" and so on. Anakin tries to connect! He tries to play up Sheev’s kind political work and how it can’t have really been his fault! It doesn’t work. Rey does not believe a word of it. Mostly she doesn’t even seem to hear him.

Rey's just like "...oh right, you're the melted mask that Kylo Ren was always ranting about," which means absolutely NOTHING to Anakin, but he mentions it to Palps, who loses his goddamn mind trying to figure out what she's talking about, because it also means absolutely nothing to him.

Here’s the thing: Rey’s already decided that Obi-Wan is cool, because Luke said so, and Plo Koon is dad-shaped, and she also gravitates towards earnest kindness in general, like she made friends with Finn real quick, so Ahsoka? Already getting along great.

She doesn’t dislike Anakin, really, he isn’t evil yet, he’s just... meh. She’s a little suspicious and she likes him less than the others but... Anakin.

Rey, to Anakin: You are my least favorite. Anakin, to Palpatine: YOUR DAUGHTER HATES ME???

And he goes from “she’s a lil standoffish” to “she doesn’t like me” to “she hates me” as is normal for Anakin.

It’s just an escalation of this one time Palpatine wants Anakin to not have rifts and trust issues with a person, at least not until later, because he needs information.

Meanwhile, that very moment, Rey is just like "huh, nobody here is listening to me about how make a sixth-hand carburetor work, where's Luke's dad?"

Anakin is venting to Palpatine about how hard it is to talk to Rey, and she's over in the Temple just like "Hey, that guy was useful last time, I should ask him," but also she only ever thinks of him as Luke's Dad.

(At one point, Obi-Wan is having a bit of a break down, and then Anakin starts having a breakdown about that, meanwhile the clones are (badly) trying to hide Finn behind their backs, Rey is watching Ahsoka practice and being like "I want two lightsabers," and Poe is trying to keep R2 from stealing BB-8 and Force Ghost Luke is just face palming in the background.)

(Rey deserved a saber staff, maybe one that can detach and turn into a jar’kai set. Possibly a pike. Mostly I just wish she got more chances to whack things with a big stick.)

[lizacstuff]

SCK/Edser Asks Episode 36 (+37 spec)

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: I really liked parts of SCK this week, but other parts made me want to scream. What did you think?

Same, same. This episode taken as an exercise in just watching Hande and Kerem doing their thing...  AMAZING. But... even they can’t save the writing. 

I’ll get into detail as I answer asks, but I felt this episode was a bit disjointed and I’m wondering if that is due to some of the alleged rewrites that happened. We know  for sure there were rewrites for Bige, for instance I’m guessing that the Serkan/Selin conversation was supposed to be in person and not on the phone and that it might have been watered down due to that. But even prior to that, we know that they delayed shooting for a day and a half and it was said to be because there were rewrites. I’m honestly wondering if they got the scripts and there wasn’t enough Eda and Serkan, and so maybe the producers had the writers go back and try and fix that and maybe that’s why there seemed to be some emotional inconsistencies scene to scene? Who knows, but I got that feeling just like I did with episode 24. Another one with great scenes that didn’t always make sense one after the other. 

That being said, lets jump in:

Anonymous said: Just me or did anyone else feel uneasy at how quickly everyone in SCK decided to just forget the last 6 weeks? Eda & Serkan were just so happy to be back together and we got lots of sweet moments but it just felt like something bad was going to happen. Plus did the characters (and the viewers) really go through all this pain just to gloss over it and pretend things were normal again? While I think the Selin pregnancy story will be wrapped up quickly mostly due to Bige’s current situation, I think (and hope) it has brought to light that Eda & Serkan have some work to do before getting married. They love each other but something feels off. The super quick proposal with a random ring just felt so wrong to me. I am still struggling with Serkan’s character and Eda needs some time to process everything that has happened.

Uneasy is a great word to describe how I was feeling. I think that was a huge problem with this episode.  It’s almost like as the audience we’re being gaslit. Like they write this huge traumatic, dramatic storyline, they have Serkan go through hell, break Eda’s heart over and over again, they have Selin and Deniz as awful, manipulative people terrorizing the protagonists, but then at the end the narrative is like *handwave* “Nah, you’re crazy, it wasn’t that bad. These people don’t need to talk about anything or heal, no apologizes, no emotional showdowns and the villains don’t need to be punished, we’ll all just move on.”

IT’S UNSETTLING AS A VIEWER. I feel cheated. I invested in this story, watched in week after week, and then they’re not even going to give us a remorseful, devastated Serkan? Everything was glossed over. They gave us some wonderful, sweet Edser scenes (especially visually) but on my first viewing it felt like this weird cloud was hanging over everything and I couldn’t really enjoy them because I kept expecting the narrative to make some sort of meaning out of everything they’d been through, and that did not happen. (notes on my second viewing down below) 

The problem is these writers. They seem fine at coming up with melodramatic plots and shocking cliffhangers, but they have no idea how to give the emotional pay off for what they’ve set in motion.  When you put your audience through hell, you owe them to really deliver the emotional climax and these writers dropped the ball pretty much in every way they could throughout this story.

The random ring felt very wrong, but I’m sure they didn’t want to go back to the flower for a proposal that wasn’t going to be successful. No need to make it even more cursed than it is. Serkan’s decision to propose while sweet, was way too soon. I think what the writers were going for was having him propose in front of all of their family and friends, because deep down he knows how much he hurt her when he proposed to Selin in front of all of them. There was a hint of that at the wedding when he wanted to make sure everyone knew how he felt. Especially with the imagery of him getting down on one knee. Getting down on one knee signifies loyalty, obedience and respect so I think there was a lot of significant to him laying himself open to her, and symbolically declaring himself subservient to her in front of everyone. 

It’s actually very sweet and does a bit of work in the righting of wrongs, but it’s misguided, and I’m glad it failed. Maybe if we hold out, there were be new writers before she next proposes! 

Anonymous said: The real crux of SCK is that these writers cannot write for Serkan. They do not understand his character and probably never watched previous episodes. Since episode 29, there almost seems to be an internal battle with the character because he jumps back & forth between almost being old Serkan & then a straight up cold jerk usually directed at Eda. Still felt it in this recent episode, honestly the only thing that seemed to change was having his memory back & being 100% sure that Eda loved him. Maybe Eda turning down the proposal and him confronting Selin about the pregnancy will finally bring him?

You know maybe that will bring him back. I agree with you, I very much doubt these writers have seen all the episodes, it almost seems like they’re writing him from a character description or something. 

On the other hand, I could see after being through a plane crash and having a brain injury, amnesia, PTSD and then weeks of brainwashing and manipulation, that Serkan might be different, especially at first as he adjusts to getting his memories back. I don’t know how retrograde amnesia usually works, if it’s just bits and pieces as he learns to access them or a flood, but I’m sure it’s a lot to handle.  And I would be FINE with that, if that was the story they were telling. That he’s overwhelmed and hasn’t processed everything yet, that he’s not exactly the same as he was. However... I have zero faith the writers are doing that on purpose or telling this story. They just ain’t that nuanced. 

Anonymous said: I am wracking my brain trying to come up with something to justify Serkan asking Selin to stay at the company & not sell her shares. Like how is that acceptable? And he wanted Eda to be happy with just getting an apology from Selin.....nope, still do not get it. We all know that Serkan does not love Selin but he is never willing to make her feel bad about awful decisions & never goes out of his way to humiliate or hurt her. Nope, he tends to save all of that for Eda.

As I was watching, that scene made my blood boil. BOIL. 

However, afterwards, I calmed down, and I can think of a few reasons to justify where Serkan’s head was at.  First, we don’t know what Serkan exactly remembers, or if he’s just been hyper focused on Eda. He might not have thought a ton about what Selin had done and how they parted when she left the country the first time around.  

Second, remember that Serkan does not know what we know. He doesn’t know that Selin has been actively conspiring with Deniz to keep him and Eda apart and working against them every step of the way. He doesn’t know that she sabotaged Eda’s presentation and Art Life, he doesn’t know that the car accident was fake, that her injuries were fake, that she has been stalking him or that she goaded Deniz in to running from signing the marriage thing. 

He doesn’t even know all the things she did in the past. He doesn’t know that she leaked that story to the press which caused Eda to faint. And he can’t even be sure she switched the addresses that caused them to miss each other at dinner, though we assume he suspected her. 

From what he said to her, he now has processed enough to realize that not all was on the up and up, she was trying to steal their love. Insert herself where she didn’t belong. But as soon as he said that, she started manipulating him again. She instantly turned herself in to the victim and put him on the biggest guilt trip ever. Blah Blah He called her. She was there for him. She loved him. She was trying to build their life together. Blah Blah Blah. All his fault. She’s spent months brainwashing him, that doesn’t wear off in a few hours.   Manipulation. Guilt. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I also think they wanted to show him being more than fair to her, so that he wasn’t the asshole in her story and it would be clear that he doesn’t deserve anything she’d done. We saw him tell her that he wants her to be happy, to show that he is a much better person than she is. She’s still trying to ruin his life, when he’s being more than fair and equitable about things. Plus the guilt is not new. He’s felt guilty about Selin since the beginning, because he knew he used Selin as an excuse to keep Eda near during the entire fake engagement period, and it led to her broken engagement with Ferit, that’s why she got away with a lot in the first 20 eps, Serkan's guilt, and she’s still playing on it. 

Also, lets remember he did give her that epic take down in 20. Which lets face it, does it get any more hurtful or humiliatingly to have your ex yell in your face that he never loved you and your childhood friend say that your friendship is over?  So I don’t entirely agree with you that he’s never done that. He has, it just took him seeing her hurt Eda to get him to act. 

You also say that he saves all his hurt and humiliation for Eda, first for most of that he had amnesia and was being brainwashed, so lets take that into account. Second, he also saves ALL his love, trust and admiration for her.  And I think that’s part of it, its the dynamics of the relationships. I don’t think Selin and Serkan really ever fought, there was no passion, there was no heat. They seemingly treated the relationship as an extension of a business relationship. Very cold and impersonal. Simply stated he rarely gets upset and angry with Selin, because he just doesn’t care. With Eda their relationship was built on passion. They spark. They argue, they like to argue. And for her, he cares more than he ever knew was possible. Falling in love and learning to be in love is part of the character’s journey on this show

It goes back to that scene in 18, where he came down a little hard on Eda. Maybe it’s not right, but from Serkan’s perspective, how he interact with them is very different because how he feels about them is very different. He said it during that conversation when Eda asked how he can be kind to Selin when she sold the shares, but discard her... and Serkan blurted out because he has never loved Selin. At that point she couldn’t inspire him to anger. But with Eda sometimes all the emotions overflows and erupts.  

Anyway, to that scene, yes it pissed me off, but I do think there is a way to justify it. Also I wonder if they watered it down and decided to save some of it since it had to be a phone conversation instead of in-person because of the death of Bige’s father?

That being said, I would have stood up and cheered if Eda said right then and there that it’s her or me. Serkan needed to be shaken out of his stooper and made to realize that they can not have Selin’s toxic presence anywhere near them and he needs to understand how hurt Eda was.  I’m hoping he just hadn’t had time to put all the pieces together yet. 

Anonymous said:Mar 21 · a day ago 1) i've seen the garage scene has been making its round across the fandom as the #1 example of how "this is not our serkan" because of he was "being cold." what are your thoughts on it? because to me.. they were literally just stress bickering and then made up. eda wasn't offended by anything, so why is the fandom tied in knots over it? isn't this what we wanted from them? for them to bicker and fight but at the end of it just BE together? i guess i saw that scene differently than most people.

I think that’s exactly how that scene was supposed to be taken. IMO it was the writer’s attempt to insert an argument (because Serkan and Eda’s relationship is always going to have arguing, and the audience loves it, so they have to find a way to give us that every so often) to get that dynamic going. 

But the problem is the narrative didn’t earn Serkan bickering with her after everything that’s happened. If you take that scene and insert it after they’ve had a heartfelt talk where Serkan has acknowledge how hurt Eda was through everything and we saw real remorse from him, then those scenes are absolutely fine. Well minus the one line where Serkan tried to dismiss her talking about things with, “Didn’t we talk about this yesterday?” That was not great. Serkan has not earned the right to shut down any line of conversation about his amnesiac behavior. 

The writers are just so BAD! They trapped them together with nothing to do but talk, this was the perfect opportunity for them to actually go deep and real and to have Eda tell him how hurt she’d been and for Serkan to really show some emotion and let us see that it hurt him that he hurt her. But they didn’t do that. 

I went back and rewatched these scenes and I enjoyed them. Hande and Kerem were great. Without the angst of expectation hanging over them, they’re good scenes. As two people under stress from a race-against-the-clock situation, stuck in a garage and arguing about that, and then making up they were fun.  It’s just that lack of emotional consistency after everything they’ve been through that is a problem. 

I have no idea why the writers didn’t have the big conversation between them. They gave hints of it. We saw Serkan offer an apology while dancing the night before and Eda shut it down. They had some tender moments in his loft, but it wasn’t enough because we really didn’t see that Serkan was hurt by how he hurt Eda.  He seemed to realize that he needed to apologize and that she was the hero and that he needed to make things up to her, but the thing that was missing was them really talking about it. And that would have been okay, Eda was exhausted, both physically and emotionally after everything, but then they should have addressed it later in the episode. 

Anonymous said: Can we talk about how the side characters actually serviced the main EdSer plot this episode? I loved that Aydan/Ayfer/Seyfi were out there trying to catch Deniz, and they still had time for an Aydan/Kemal conversation. That Alex plot did these women a huge disservice.

Yes! I agree the supporting characters were all doing what they should be doing, supporting the A-story. I enjoyed the Aydan/Ayfer/Seyfi scenes, glad they were useful!  

Plus I was actually touched by how Aydan called Ayfer in her time of need, they’ve actually become real, true friends which is a cool development. I’m looking forward to the Kemal storyline. Dude is way too interested in Serkan... I’m not sure if he’s Serkan’s father or not, but I think he thinks he might be.  Loved that Serkan’s spidey-senses were tingling when it came to him and he was on his guard... if only those spidey-senses worked with Selin. 

Melo remains queen and Ceren earned a few rights back by getting the legal in order. 

However, WTF was that random Piril/Engin storyline with the hospital? For a second there I thought this show was going really DARK. 

Anonymous said: Is it weird that the scene with Serkan apologizing to Eda in his apartment and her kind of brushing it off with the comment “you did not do it on purpose” reminded me a lot of Max trying to apologize to Liz after getting his memory back? Like you just knew that the happiness was not going to last for very long. You cannot gloss over all that pain just because the person you missed is back. Although I will say Max was a lot more apologetic than Serkan and did not act like a jerk during the rest of the episode. Feels like even if this Selin baby situation is resolved quickly that Edser still has a lot of work to do before getting married.

Oh interesting comparison, but right, Max lost his memories for about 30 minutes of screen time (vs Serkan’s almost 900) so Max had a lot less time to do damage! I was always left unsatisfied with that memory-loss storyline I think it should have lasted until the next episode, but everything with the timing in S2 RNM was a little off for me. 

But to you point about Edser having work to do before marriage, I completely agree. Although, I don’t even think it’s like they need to take a ton of time, they just have to spend some real, uninterrupted time together and talk all this through. There is no need to rush it when they haven’t dealt with any of the trauma. Like a nice two-week vacation would do them a world of good. 

Anonymous said: So are we supposed to think that Eda slept by herself on the sofa downstairs after they had sex? Not exactly romantic. Serkan’s character is still coming off very cold to me although it was definitely a lot better than previous episodes.

Not sure what that was, other than maybe (HOPEFULLY) they want to show us Edser’s carnal reunion and that episode wasn’t the place for it? Also, tbh, I assume with shooting schedules they just didn’t want to have yet another location to prep and shoot in, which the bedroom would have been, so Eda on the couch. Though I don’t know why we couldn’t have had both of them waking up on the couch like ep 11. 

Anonymous said: The whole scene at Serkan's house at night felt like such a balm to my soul after the past few episodes. Him telling her that she's the hero in their love story and he owes all the happy moments for the rest of their lives to her... whew it had me welling up. I feel like we'll get more of that guilt out of Serkan after this whole new Selin plot is unraveled, but that scene (with the beautiful music) was honestly what I NEEDED after ep 29 onwards.

Oh I’m so glad it worked for you. I enjoyed those scenes, especially on rewatch. On rewatch I could take them for what they were, but while watching the episode as a whole I was so on edge waiting for some sort of emotional conversation or breakthrough, so that was harder to enjoy.  

Hande and Kerem were terrific in them as always. I like that Eda suggested they start fresh in a place of their own, and that he immediately agreed. I liked him wanting to dance with her and hold her, and he did say some very nice things, apologizing and saying she was the hero of their story, but the scenes just didn’t go deep enough for where they were the next day with Serkan being a bit flippant at times. These scenes didn’t do enough repair work to warrant his behavior, though I do acknowledge he was under a lot of stress. 

Anonymous said: I'm convinced that these writers are here to sabotage the show. There is no other explanation. No offense to Bige but they should've just cut all of her scenes out and have Selin leave the country abruptly. We didn't need Serkan wishing her happiness, wanting her stay at Art life, and arguing with Eda over it. (what the actual fuck?) To have Bige come back to set this week to play out this pregnancy plot is unfortunate - they really could've just ditched it last minute and that makes me so mad.

The writers suck, and I need them to go like I need a giant vat of sangria while watching this show, but they are not here to sabotage the show. 

Anonymous said: I've seen some people say that the serkan now is not "our" serkan and serkan from 28.. do you agree with that? Because of COURSE he won't be the same after everything they've had to go through since then.. I think mainly people seem to think that unless he's like on his knees sobbing for Eda's forgiveness, he's not "back" which I don't agree with. Or maybe I'm just personally over the sadness and don't need a huge breakdown scene and would rather just see them move past it.

I’d take the breakdown scene. This is the man who sobbed when he found out his father was responsible for Eda’s parents death.  How has he not had been devastated by how badly he treated her? He said some very nice things in the last episode, but hasn’t offered any specific apology or explanations. It’s all been very broad and on the surface. 

Seriously, the scene could last only 3-5 minutes and be amazing and not drag down the entire show. The writers insisted on Serkan treating Eda pretty roughly for a LOT of episodes in a row, they owe it to us for him to face that and deal with it. Maybe it will happen when this Selin stuff comes to a head. 

Anonymous said: idk if i'm the only one who feels this way, but after 6 WEEKS of no edser, we get an episode full of happy (except the last 10 mins) and somehow people still nitpick the scenes? and im the first one to admit the writers have sucked all through out the memory plot, but im also not gonna just hate scenes automatically bc i hate them? if you're at the point where you can't even enjoy edser in love and together then what's the point watching? maybe i need to get off twitter after watching the ep.

First I do agree with that. Twitter after the episode is a toxic pit of joyless negativity. Also it always has been that way, even after awesome episodes. For whatever reason on that platform, people knee-jerk react to everything and it’s super unpleasant. 

As to your point about nitpicking, I agree. It’s very prevalent in fandom. Because maybe you watch something and liked it. There were a few things that weren’t great, but over all, enjoyable. Then you go online and you see people spiraling about things that hadn’t even hit you and you start thinking about them and all of a sudden something that didn’t bother you while watching is now looming large as as a huge flaw in the show. 

In a vacuum the Edser scenes were great. Lots of sweet moments, stunning visuals, H/K chemistry on full display, it’s a shame that it was all a bit disjointed while watching the first time through. The writers just can’t seem to do the big moments justice. 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the ending? She can’t really be pregnant can she? At least not with serkans kid. How the hell are they going to solve this if bige probably isn’t in the next ep or more? :(

Well since you sent this we’ve seen the fragman. At this point, my money is on her being really pregnant with Deniz’s child (By the way, before the fragman I wasn’t sure if she was really pregnant, but if she was I was pretty sure it was Deniz)  and I still have a ton of hope that Serkan will know it’s not his, because they didn’t sleep together.

If she’s really pregnant and there was any possibility that Serkan could have been the father she would have been throwing it in his face and making a play to keep him. There is no doubt about that. The fact that she was fleeing the country and adamant that she didn’t want Serkan to know? I think it’s because it can’t be his because they never had sex and she doesn’t want him to know she was cheating on him while they were engaged. She couldn’t continue to play the victim card if he finds that out. 

Anonymous said: Selin is def not pregnant IMO. But would she have even concocted this plan if there wasn’t a good chance of eda and serkan believing it for a while? So does that mean the writers are going to make it so that Selin and serkan slept together :( would they really go there?

I think if you watch the Eda/Selin scene again you will see that Selin never says that Serkan is the father, she just says she’s leaving and she repeats again and again that she doesn’t want Serkan to know.  

As I said above if she’s really pregnant and there was any way to sell it as Sekan’s, then she would tell him right away and keep on keeping on with the guilt and manipulation.

Even if it’s fake, then she’s doing it just to try and throw one last wrench at the relationship. She told Eda not to tell Serkan over and over again. It it’s fake, maybe a Hail Mary hoping Eda will pull the breaks and potentially leave.  This woman is desperate to ruin their happiness, she would do anything even if all it does it cause upset and turmoil for a day. 

Anonymous said: I keep hoping that they would pull of one of the biggest twists in dizi history and say that these last 7 episodes were a dream. Imagine how epic that would be.

That would be amazing. Let it all be Serkan’s coma dream after the plane crash and he wakes up to Eda at his bedside.

Anonymous said: While I don’t like Eda saying no to the proposal due to believing Selin’s pregnancy story, I was actually happy that the Edser reconciliation was not wrapped up so quickly. I want them back together but had a real problem with Serkan’s attitude for most of the episode. And him allowing Selin to still work at the company and just apologize to Eda like she borrowed her favorite sweater & never returned it....like who is this guy? And being unwilling to take any blame with the Deniz situation? He needs to actually seem remorseful considering everything that Eda went through. I fear the real problem with his character is the writers which means we may never see episode 1-28 Serkan ever again 😭.

I’ve pretty much addressed all this, but, yes, I feel you. I think it’s a good thing that their reconciliation is going to take more work. Let’s hope the writers find some sort of nuance and skill and get it done! 

Anonymous said: I wish bad things on those people who came up with the rumors that we were getting new writers 💀Or the ones who keep saying that Selin will be gone in the next episode and we are coming up on #9 with her. I know it's my own fault for getting my hopes up but still lol - they are purposely extending her stay on this show to spite us, no? This is starting to feel like a personal attack 😂

I KNOW! Those damn spoiler people with their snake oil and false promises! LOL. I have believed them more than once (mostly because I wanted to so badly). That Yasin person (who lies more than he tells the truth) still insists there will be new writers. We shall see. I know more than a few hearts broke when we saw the same names wrote ep 37. 

Anonymous said: Do you ever think we’ll get our serkan (ep 1-28) back? Even though he recovered his memory he’s acting so different. In the moments when he’s not being super sweet with eda, he’s inexplicably cold or apathetic. Like when they were stuck in the garage, it was hard to believe he just dismissed her when she brought up being hurt by the memory thing. And telling her to shut up when she was worried instead of comforting her? ESP bc he knows she’s claustrophobic. And answering the phone in the end, even though that “efendim... sevgilim” was turned into a comedic bit, the way he just didn’t seem excited to talk to eda at all? Compared to their phone convos in 12(?) and 27. Idk I can’t believe he has the audacity to be 1) annoyed with eda’s lingering frustration 2) in general not be more apologetic 3) so civil towards Selin? Asking her to stay and saying he wants her to be happy? What the ABSOLUTE FUCK?

I get it, but I think you’ll enjoy the show more if you take a deep breath, realize these writers SUCK, and then try and enjoy the Edser scenes individually. They’re actually pretty good that way. It’s like what I said last week, in order to enjoy, emotionally detach yourself from the plot, and view this as an excuse to see Hande and Kerem make their magic together. 

Anonymous said: Ugh sheesh of eda doesn’t tell serkan about selins non pregnancy right away and we have to spend a whole episode with both of them hurt and serkan confused idk how I’m going to have patience to watch it through

This came before the fragman, but from the fragman it appears it’s going to take the whole episode, but I thought it looked like it would be watchable.  Seems to me Eda is not going to tell Serkan about the pregnancy. Deniz is going to tip Eda that Selin might be up to something. Cue the girls investigating. At the same time maybe Eda tips off Deniz that Selin is pregnant. Deniz confronts Selin asking if he’s the father.  Separately Serkan is trying to find out what’s going on, he finds out Selin is pregnant and the trailer is him telling Engin. I think his reaction could very well be because he’s super confused because how can Selin be pregnant when she was engaged to him but they weren’t sleeping together?? Or he’s furious because he thinks Selin told Eda that and he knows it can’t be true (at least that he’s the father).  At least we know that Serkan and Eda have a romantic night at some point...  

Anonymous said: I feel like the SCK fandom is on pins & needles waiting to find out in the next episode if Selin & Serkan actually slept together during the 3ish months they were together. Like I want Eda to be honest with him about why she turned down the proposal but then it is either a quick “we never slept together so not possible” that ends that storyline or he admits they did and we spiral into figuring out if she really is pregnant/who is the father. But if she decides not to tell him then he has to spend the episode trying to figure out what happened. Worst case scenario is her not telling him, him spending the whole episode trying to find out and then it ends with a reveal that they did sleep together & pregnancy is possible.

I’m still sticking with that they always purposefully showed us them not sleeping in the same place AND these writers have proved they are aware of the whole “Nobody touches you but me” thing. Why, out of everything, with this storyline looming, is that what he remembered if it wasn’t going to come into play?  

And honestly, I don’t want to even speculate it could go the other way, so everyone can stop asking me about that. If we have to cross that bridge, we’ll do it when the time comes. As long as there’s hope, that’s where I’m camping.

Anonymous said: damn, people were just joking about it, but selin and deniz really DID get freaky in the woods lol. no wonder the next time she visited the cafe after the trip she was all awkward about it.

She was totally awkward! And she was checking herself out in the mirror, primping, before she saw him. That’s totally when they did the ugly. 

I was cracking up today reading all the people on twitter screaming about “HOW?  WHEN?” in regards to Selin and Deniz. UM... they had ample opportunity. They were constantly meeting to discuss their nefarious plans. She was always at his coffee shop. That night at the cabin, Selin and Deniz both went away disappointed and angry leaving Eda and Serkan at the shelter, makes sense they would find cold comfort in each other’s arms. She was acting weird in the last couple of episodes like she’d almost given up and like she was disheartened by how into the sabotage Deniz still was.   Also they are side characters in the Edser show, we’re not always going to see what they’re doing. (THANK GOODNESS, last thing we need is that burned into our brains!)

[smallblueandloud]

okay, so i’ve spent all day listening to les mis, right? and i love eponine (as all gays do). marius is like... decent. cosette is simultaneously annoying as fuck and also one of my favorite characters. She Has The Range.

anyway, my queer heart wants eponine to be happy, so logically you’d think “Marius Has Two Hands”, right? except honestly i’m not such a fan of marius except maybe when he’s chugging his respect women juice. so i propose the ideal version, which i’m gonna call “Cosette Has Two Hands” but is really “the ot3 of amazing singing”. (under a cut because i just straight-up started writing dialogue at the end, because why the fuck not.)

see, i don’t think the show really mentions this (forgive me, the only version i’ve seen in the movie and it’s been forever), but cosette and eponine grew up together! or at least, they spent their formative childhood years together. i was assuming that it was a cinderella-and-stepsister situation, but judging from the way that eponine’s parents treat her when she’s older, i’m gonna guess that they treated her like cosette even back then. (maybe a little better, but still, not great.) and honestly i don’t care what canon says? I Am The Captain Now

which leads to... young!cosette and young!eponine bonding over having the same shitty childhood situation. eponine gets slightly better treatment, but she shares almost everything she can with cosette, because they’re friends and eponine loves her! like, a lot! and wants to hold her hand! (baby gay eponine is giving me life rn.) cosette has similar feelings! but then a nice stranger comes and takes cosette away to a good (if slightly sheltered) childhood that’s only rarely punctuated by weird muttering about a javier, or something. cosette is NOT sure what’s going on there.

anyways so flash forward to paris. eponine knows who cosette is, right? i mean, her dad recognized jean on sight. (he hadn’t seen jean before, which i’m gonna handwave with “eponine is out and about more than her dad and isn’t exactly STALKING her gay crush / childhood friend but she knows where she is, okay? get off her back gavroche”.) but she hasn’t gone up to TALK to her, because eponine lives on the streets and cosette looks like a pressed flower and eponine is... kind of technically actually a criminal and she does NOT want to see disgust on cosette’s face.

but eponine’s OTHER crush falls in love at first sight with cosette! lovely! then demands eponine take him to her house! wonderful!!!!!!!!! so she takes him, but stays out of sight, so that cosette won’t recognize her, and doesn’t tell marius that she knows her. so cosette asks “how did you know where you live?”, marius says “oh, my friend found you. she’s good with the streets” and gestures at the dark shadow keeping watch at the end of the street, and then “a heart full of love” happens and eponine pines terribly for BOTH involved parties, and then they move on (thanks, eponine’s asshole parents).

now, there are two ways for this to end up: either eponine ends up VERY HAPPY or marius and cosette end up VERY SAD. i think i’m gonna go with VERY HAPPY just because i have enough fractured triads to care about, thanks so much. the way this would probably happen is: eponine is wounded pretty badly, marius holds her in his arms, says a bunch of confusing things (DO YOU WANT TO DATE HER OR NOT, MARIUS??), and she sings “a little fall of rain”, and then she passes out and marius howls with pain, cries for a doctor. she lives, but doesn’t participate in any battles because she’s resting. she comes out into the stillness to see a dark figure hunched over marius.

she runs over to him and threatens him with a knife until it is revealed that he’s the father of marius’ love - oh, thinks eponine, and does not give her name. she can’t help him deadlife marius, but she leads him into the sewers and takes him up to the exit, where surprise! surprise! they run into javert. eponine rushes forward to hold her knife to his throat, because marius is very wounded and she is not going to let him die. she “persuades” javert to let them go, and he does, and then he jumps off the bridge because obviously he’s never going to get jean valjean. or maybe he doesn’t? i really don’t care lmao.

they reach jean’s house, where cosette runs out and sees her father, carrying a gravely wounded marius, and also a figure who is hiding her face in the darkness.

“papa, you saved him-!” she says, fluttering around marius’ face.

“i could not have saved him without this lady’s help,” says jean, Full Of Justice as always.

cosette walks forward to thank her. “you can’t imagine how much i owe you for this. you have saved my happiness. [etc, etc, old-fashioned talking.] please, may i know your name? to thank you? anything you need, anything at all-”

eponine has been curling further into the wall, but finally decides fuck it, she’s going to find out eventually and steps out of the shadows. “it’s eponine, cosette.”

cosette bursts into happy tears, walks forward, and embraces her. jean decides he should probably let his daughter have a personal life, just a little, as a treat, and deadlifts marius inside to call a doctor.

“eponine-” says cosette. “eponine, i didn’t know you were in paris. why didn’t you tell me?”

cosette is crying happy tears, eponine is crying unbelieving tears. cosette has eponine’s face cradled in her hands like she’s something precious, and eponine has only felt that once before (”a little fall of rain”). “i didn’t-” she says, and gasps for air, leans into cosette’s hands. “i did not think you would want to see me.”

“i wouldn’t-?” repeats cosette, incredulous, and gently pulls her forward to kiss her cheekbones, close to her eyes. “you were my first friend, my only friend, my first-”

she cuts off, and they just lean their foreheads together for awhile.

the wedding at the end of the musical is marius and eponine getting married, because cosette has the means to live as a wealthy spinster and besides, eponine deserves it. her parents show up, unaware of who exactly is getting married, and marius punches her father in the face. marius, eponine, and cosette (wealthy spinster that lives in marius and eponine’s house to “help them with the children”) live together in happiness forevermore.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #227

Thurs Apr 30 2020 [06:34 PM] Wack'd: Another story catalyzed by space objects falling to Earth [06:35 PM] Wack'd: This time a meteor lands in a lake in Pennsylvania [06:36 PM] Wack'd: One of Reed's science friends calls Reed and is like "hey, I know you're big into meteors, wanna come do science and hang out" [06:37 PM] Bocaj: Space needs to stop dumping its junk in our yard [06:37 PM] Wack'd: I mean hey, we do it too. It's reciprocal pollution [06:37 PM] Umbramatic: The Great Space Junk Exchange [06:38 PM] Bocaj: When has a thing earth sent v'gering into space ever caused a problem [06:38 PM] Umbramatic: ...what the fuck were the dinosaurs polluting space with to get what they did [06:38 PM] Bocaj: Its not like we send a hulk of stuff and crash it into gladiator planets [06:38 PM] maxwellelvis: @Umbramatic Tobacco [06:38 PM] Wack'd: @Umbramatic : *Land Before Time* videocassettes [06:38 PM] Umbramatic: dbtgfrh ojgifmhk  hjnl;.'; [06:38 PM] Bocaj: Ha [06:39 PM] maxwellelvis: The real reason the dinosaurs went extinct. [06:39 PM] Wack'd: So anyway the team is going on vacation! Johnny wants to get a tan and Sue is like "let's bring the grill" and I'm like "you're. You're going to Pennsylvania" [06:39 PM] Wack'd: Like yes the caption specifies it landed at a resort but like, c'mon [06:39 PM] Bocaj: CAN Johnny tan? [06:39 PM] Bocaj: He's exposed to heat and light every day of his life [06:40 PM] Bocaj: Can Johnny Storm get a sunburn? [06:40 PM] Bocaj: Also: why isn't his name Blaze? [06:40 PM] Wack'd: Maybe he can choose to but it's unpleasant to use his powers for it and he prefers the old-fashion way [06:40 PM] Bocaj: Hm, acceptable handwave [06:40 PM] Wack'd: Like there's a difference between being exposed to solar radiation from billions of miles off and setting yourself on fire [06:41 PM] Wack'd: Ben is grumpy because Alicia is bogged down with work and can't make it, and his only other friend will be busy with science [06:41 PM] Wack'd: (You'd think he could hang out with Sue and Johnny and Franklin but whatever) [06:42 PM] maxwellelvis: Sandman stopped taking his calls? [06:42 PM] Wack'd: Sandman tries to beat him up on the regular, what're you talking about [06:42 PM] maxwellelvis: Ahh, right, you're not reading Two-In-One. [06:42 PM] maxwellelvis: Okay, there's ONE thing in Marvel Two-In-One that causes an actual change to the status-quo in Marvel; there's an issue where Ben goes to a bar and finds Sandman is also there. So he sits down with him and they talk. [06:43 PM] Wack'd: "Yer off yer meds again, aren'tcha, Flint" [06:43 PM] Bocaj: One of my favorite scenes in the DCAU [06:44 PM] Bocaj: Get rekt that scene of Batman talking to Ace, psychic meltdown [06:44 PM] maxwellelvis: By the end of the issue, Sandman has gone legit, and for like a decade, he stayed so, until eventually some Spider-Man story needed him back on the Sinister Six. [06:44 PM] Bocaj: (Because it implies that Only Batman can human at people is why) [06:44 PM] Wack'd: Decade does seem to be where Marvel status quo changes top out sadly [06:44 PM] Bocaj: I think it was after the clone saga [06:45 PM] Bocaj: During the panic mode 'shit roll it back roll everything back fuck fuck fuck' kneejerk [06:45 PM] Wack'd: Gotta remind people of the good ol days after that stinker, yeah [06:45 PM] maxwellelvis: Then it was close to like, two decades or something. [06:45 PM] maxwellelvis: That's an astonishingly long time in comics. [06:45 PM] Wack'd: Oh wow [06:45 PM] Bocaj: Funfact: Sandman was an Avenger [06:45 PM] Wack'd: Huh! [06:45 PM] Bocaj: Reserve, but still. [06:45 PM] Bocaj: Nice [06:46 PM] Wack'd: If nothing else the idea of him as a sympathetic crook seems to have stuck [06:46 PM] Wack'd: Which is not nothing [06:46 PM] Bocaj: Sam Raimi intensifies [06:46 PM] maxwellelvis: Marvel Two-In-One Vol 1 #86 is the relevant issue. [06:46 PM] maxwellelvis: So it hasn't happened yet at the time you're reading, is the other reason you hadn't heard about it. That issue was in 1982, so about a decade and a half, give or take. [06:47 PM] maxwellelvis: And you weren't far-off with that JLU joke, @Wack'd, says here that a big thing in the issue is Sandman dealing with the trauma of having been merged with Hydro-Man. Which is probably why he's receptive to the idea of going legit. [06:48 PM] Wack'd: Alright then [06:48 PM] Wack'd: ...anyway Sandman isn't. In this one. So [06:49 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, this was a lot more explaining for a dumb joke than I anticipated. [06:49 PM] Wack'd: Back to the story at hand [06:50 PM] Wack'd: Ben decides he's gonna go fishing. He's got a floppy hat and a vest and everything. Also: more womanly stereotypes!

[06:51 PM] Umbramatic: i love ben's fishing outfit [06:52 PM] Bocaj: He looks so happy [06:52 PM] maxwellelvis: Fishing hats like that always make me flash back to that M*A*S*H episode where Col. Blake salutes while wearing his hat and hooks his finger on it. [06:52 PM] maxwellelvis: "What are you trying to DO to me?!" [06:52 PM] Bocaj: Oooow [06:52 PM] Wack'd: They fly into Pennsylvania and things have. Escalated.

[06:52 PM] Bocaj: "I don't want to hoard gold, I want to turn people into dinosaurs" "HE KEEPS SAYING THAT" [06:53 PM] Wack'd: For the record earlier cutaway panels show this is a bird that got mutated by the meteor but I got distracted and forgot to post it [06:53 PM] Umbramatic: that pterosaur's wings make me viscerally angr--AND THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE [06:53 PM] maxwellelvis: Somewhere a paleontologist is weeping [06:53 PM] maxwellelvis: OR [06:53 PM] maxwellelvis: Oh cool, I didn't know the writers of *Dino Squad* ghostwrote this issue [06:53 PM] Umbramatic: that's me, i'm the weeping palentologist [06:54 PM] Mousa The 14: The bird didn’t mutate, it simply regressed to an earlier form [06:54 PM] Bocaj: HROINK! [06:54 PM] Umbramatic: if it did that it'd be more like a velociraptor [06:54 PM] Mousa The 14: Hroink indeed. Hroink indeed. [06:55 PM] maxwellelvis: Pterosaurs and birds are completely different groups of archosaurs, that's a mutation, Mousa. [06:55 PM] Umbramatic: YES [06:55 PM] Wack'd: Not really sure why this merited a silent panel

[06:55 PM] Bocaj: Just put up an invisible force slide [06:55 PM] Mousa The 14: Artist showing off [06:56 PM] Wack'd: How bad he can draw children? [06:56 PM] Umbramatic: i dunno which makes a better reaction image, franklin's face or the pterosaur's [06:56 PM] Mousa The 14: Or to show Franklin is about to use. THE POWER [06:56 PM] Bocaj: Its not the worst tiny adult i've seen in comics [06:56 PM] maxwellelvis: Unless it leads to another god-child moment, it's a rather pointless reaction image. [06:56 PM] Bocaj: I'm not saying that its all Franklin's fault but I blame Cable on him [06:56 PM] Bocaj: God-child arms race [06:57 PM] Wack'd: So the monster explodes, and Reed collects its gem--EUGH

[06:57 PM] Bocaj: I don't like this. [06:58 PM] Wack'd: Ftr Gideon Carruthers is Reed's science friend. We already have a Gideon so I'll call him Carruthers [06:58 PM] Umbramatic: -screaming- [06:58 PM] Wack'd: To disambiguate him from the rich doofus [06:58 PM] Bocaj: I'd laugh my ass off if he looked just like gideon from gravity falls [06:58 PM] Bocaj: or even gideon from Scotts Pilgrim [06:59 PM] maxwellelvis: I know there's some sci-fi parasite this reminds me of, but I can't think what. [06:59 PM] Bocaj: Captain N mother brain? [06:59 PM] maxwellelvis: Parasite [06:59 PM] Bocaj: She was a parasite on my peace of mind [07:02 PM] Wack'd: Sue takes a moment to check that Franklin isn't traumatized but he's like "we fought and won, just like in the comics!" And then uh

[07:02 PM] Wack'd: Were comics caught up in the Satanic Panic or whatever? Like [07:02 PM] Umbramatic: -screams- [07:02 PM] Wack'd: Seems more like a 50s thing [07:02 PM] Wack'd: Also yeah that sure is a Franklin [07:02 PM] Bocaj: I think Wertham argued that kids couldn't distinguish comics from reality and yeah that was way before this I think [07:03 PM] Bocaj: I think in his book he cited an incident that I don't know if legit or not where a kid tied a blanket around their neck like a cape and jumped off a roof [07:03 PM] Wack'd: Eesh [07:04 PM] Bocaj: Not sure that could be laid at Superman's feet. He very clearly says 'I have alien powers from being an alien' [07:04 PM] Wack'd: Can't wait to see this kid's mutt mutate into MCGRUFF, THE CRIME DOG

[07:04 PM] Bocaj: Duff Dog Oh Yeah [07:04 PM] Bocaj: Suds McDuffie [07:04 PM] Wack'd: This is cool too I guess

[07:05 PM] maxwellelvis: I was going to say, I think a dire wolf is more likely. [07:07 PM] Umbramatic: awoooo [07:07 PM] Bocaj: Werewolves of Slyvania [07:07 PM] maxwellelvis: I really wish the LOTR movies had modeled the Wargs more on dire wolves than hyenas. [07:08 PM] Wack'd: Okay I think we can safely dismiss the idea of these mutations having some kind of basis in scientific reality

[07:08 PM] Wack'd: Paleontologists rest easy [07:08 PM] Umbramatic: FOREHEAD BEAM [07:08 PM] Bocaj: You've never seen a dog shoot a laser? [07:09 PM] Umbramatic: pidge shoots lasers all the time [07:09 PM] Wack'd: Anyway this time instead of the monster exploding Reed spots the parasite on the back of its neck and grabs it before self-destruct is triggered [07:09 PM] Wack'd: Kid gets his dog back and dog stops being a fiend [07:09 PM] Umbramatic: we have to prevent her from doing it to the neighbors [07:09 PM] Bocaj: Duffer... will live [07:10 PM] Wack'd: Reed I, uh, think the forehead laser puts a serious hole in your theory!

[07:11 PM] Wack'd: Also the fuck is the "evolutionary agent"? Is he claiming we have, like, an evolution gland that pumps evolution juice into our bodies that makes us not be weird history monsters? [07:12 PM] Wack'd: Okay so Reed elaborates that the forehead laser is because the parasite gives its hosts psychic powers to make them more powerful so they can steal gasoline to eat [07:12 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, sure, I can see how that- huh? [07:13 PM] Wack'd: "It makes a bizarre kind of sense," says Carruthers, who is also identified as a geologist and so I guess is just rolling with this [07:13 PM] Bocaj: Carruthers: "Its not a rock so i don't fuckin know" [07:14 PM] Wack'd: Sue is upset that Franklin is in danger and weird shit keeps finding them and Reed is like "we do have some quiet times, they just happen off-panel" and Sue is like "you're right, I'm sorry I snapped" [07:14 PM] Wack'd: And she wants a normal life and yadda yadda [07:14 PM] Bocaj: Like that time she played horsey [07:15 PM] Bocaj: REMEMBER THE HORSEY TIMES SUE [07:15 PM] Wack'd: Sue, hold on to your memories of like the first two pages of each recent arc [07:15 PM] Bocaj: Yeah! [07:16 PM] Umbramatic: thbijgthp oknjlph;[m'n [07:16 PM] Wack'd: So they send Ben down in scuba gear to get the meteor which does actually kinda look like it could be a Steven Universe corrupted gem. Unfortunately he brings something back with him

[07:17 PM] Wack'd: Remember: if a character says they want to go fishing in act one they need to catch a giant sea monster by act three [07:17 PM] maxwellelvis: Shai-hulud [07:17 PM] Umbramatic: poor ben [07:17 PM] Umbramatic: he just wanted to turn fish in to blathers [07:18 PM] Wack'd: Reed, being the smart intelligent thing he is, puts this round item down on the floor of a rocking boat [07:19 PM] Wack'd: It cracks open and [07:19 PM] Wack'd: And then Sue was the reverted evolution thingy

[07:19 PM] Bocaj: So whats the 'reverted evolution' of Sue [07:20 PM] Bocaj: Issue 1 Sue where she didn't ever contribute anything? [07:20 PM] Wack'd: Uh. Angry, I guess?

[07:20 PM] Bocaj: My idea was funnier and plausibly unfair [07:20 PM] Wack'd: True [07:21 PM] Bocaj: Hope this isn't another situation where Reed is justified in belting her [07:21 PM] Wack'd: Also Reed opens the cracked egg and finds five grooves for parasites to be in like seeds [07:21 PM] Wack'd: So after Sue there's one unaccounted for [07:21 PM] Bocaj: Dun dun dun [07:22 PM] Wack'd: Immediately resolved by it dropping out of a tree and on to Carruthers' neck [07:22 PM] Umbramatic: oh [07:22 PM] Bocaj: Whats tension anyway [07:23 PM] Wack'd: Hm. Reverting made his skin darker. Don't like that

[07:24 PM] Bocaj: I do like the resigned "Yep -- I wuz right" from Ben [07:24 PM] Bocaj: Don't like "uglier than the hulk" paired with the thing you said [07:25 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Carruthers goes after some oil because these things eat oil remember, so Johnny blows up the oil and Carruthers goes flying like in an action movie or a Looney Tune [07:25 PM] Wack'd: Thus knocking him out so Ben can get the parasite off him before he explodes [07:26 PM] Bocaj: Yaa~aaay [07:26 PM] Wack'd: Oh. Oh fuck [07:27 PM] Wack'd: I've been sitting here thinking "but why are the monsters blowing up anyway? How does that benefit the parasites? Surely they'd want to keep the host alive to keep collecting oil" [07:27 PM] Wack'd: Adding to that, Reed postulates time is a factor as to why some explode and some don't [07:28 PM] Wack'd: But, uh. I thiiiiiiink it might be a lot simpler than that

[07:29 PM] Wack'd: If I'm right, Franklin blew up the dragon and the sea monster. He wasn't around for the dog and Carruthers [07:29 PM] Bocaj: Dun dun DUUUUN [07:29 PM] Wack'd: (And probably wouldn't have blown them up if he had!) [07:29 PM] Bocaj: Geez Franklin, geez [07:30 PM] Wack'd: And now he's like "do I...blow up mommy? No, right? I feel like that's probably a no" [07:32 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Sue is not entirely mutated, just got some weird facial deformities and is a little out of it. Reed says its maybe her cosmic ray blood [07:32 PM] Umbramatic: *screams* [07:32 PM] Umbramatic: @ the franklin face [07:32 PM] Wack'd: Haha! VINDICATED

[07:33 PM] Wack'd: Honestly kudos to Moench here for successfully constructing a mystery I didn't know was a mystery until the reveal happened [07:33 PM] Wack'd: That's some good writing right there [07:34 PM] Wack'd: Less good writing: this

[07:34 PM] Umbramatic: so nice work [07:35 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Franklin blows up the parasite without hurting Reed or Sue and is very proud of himself [07:36 PM] Wack'd: And Reed concludes "uh maybe we should figure out exactly hat Franklin's deal is" before the whole team hightails it back to New York [07:36 PM] Wack'd: A happy ending maybe

[07:37 PM] Bocaj: OR IS IT? [07:37 PM] Wack'd: Nope, turns out they have another son [07:38 PM] Bocaj: Benjamin Jonathan Richards you were named after the two bravest men I know [07:39 PM] Wack'd: LETTERS! Everybody loves some letters [07:39 PM] Wack'd: Eric L Watts wants Johnny to fall in love with another superhero and Ben and Alicia to get married. I like one of those ideas [07:39 PM] Bocaj: Is that the one what did happen eventualy? [07:40 PM] Wack'd: I mean both of those happen eventually [07:40 PM] Bocaj: Or is it the one, due to the vagaries of gendered language, that has Johnny come out as queer? [07:40 PM] Wack'd: Ha [07:41 PM] maxwellelvis: Lyja isn't a superhero when she and Johnny meet, though. [07:41 PM] Wack'd: Someone wants to know how Sienkiewicz is pronounced! It's sinKEVitch [07:41 PM] Wack'd: @maxwellelvis He does also date Medusa, so [07:41 PM] Bocaj: He's dated Crystal and Medusa [07:41 PM] maxwellelvis: Good golly [07:41 PM] Bocaj: He dates Nova, not that one, who probably counts if Silver Surfer do [07:42 PM] Bocaj: Huh. This list of romantic partners I've found for him is shorter than you'd expect [07:42 PM] Wack'd: People are kind of tetchy at how much Reed stretches now. Two different letter writers are like "He's not Plastic Man!" [07:42 PM] Bocaj: Hah. [07:43 PM] Wack'd: And people really like the more domestic stuff, specifically how Sue is written [07:43 PM] Wack'd: I'm sure the fact that all the letter writers are dudes is a coincidence [07:44 PM] Bocaj: I'm kind of but not really but a little surprised that Carol and Johnny haven't gone on at least one date. They have a venn diagram social circle and Carol dated Spider-Man briefly which is a similar kind of energy [07:44 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey, look who's making her *Fantastic Four* debut

[lawyernovelistpersonal]

Fall of Laketown Remix 4/7

*Bard climbs onto a bell tower and starts shooting at Smaug*

Bain: Da!

Tilda: Da!

*Bard keeps shooting at Smaug but it has no effect*

Kili: He hit it! He hit the dragon!

Tauriel: No.

Bofur: Yes, he did. It didn't make any difference, but he did hit it.

Tauriel: That's a little nitpicky, don't you think?

Bofur: Just saying.

Kili: He did, he hit its mark, I saw!

Tauriel: These arrows cannot pierce its hide. I fear nothing will.

Kili: OK, question: How come you know more about how to take down dragons than I do? Given my family history, you'd think that how to kill dragons would at least have been a subject of discussion around the place as I was growing up, even if it weren't an active part of my education.

Tauriel: That's irrelevant; I know more than you because I have to be the smartest person here.

Sigrid: Do you know about black arrows?

Tauriel: ... Sure.

Fili: You don't, actually; you just said nothing would pierce the dragon's hide.

Tauriel: Shut up.

Sigrid: Regardless, I know all four of these dwarves do, since their leader went out of his way to blame my great-grandfather for the destruction of Dale and Erebor. Which was entirely unnecessary, by the way.

Bain: Yeah, and I mentioned that thanks to him Smaug has a loose scale.

Kili: Excellent point. And that means that maybe we don't even need a black arrow!

Tauriel: Well, if you know that then so does your father, and if that were what it meant then he clearly can't shoot straight, so is it that or do we need a black arrow which we don't have?

Sigrid: Well, he can definitely shoot straight, so I guess we still need the black arrow for some reason.

Bain: Man, I was really hoping that there was a reason I brought up the loose scale.

Sigrid: I guess it really was just to prove that our great-grandfather got some sort of consolation prize, even though it was ultimately worthless.

*Bain notices the boat where he left the black arrow*

Bain: Huh. That's convenient. I thought for sure someone would have taken that boat by now, with all this going on.

*he grabs a hook and swings off the boat*

Bofur: What are you doing?

Fili: Come back! Bain! Come back!

Bofur: Bain!

Tilda: Hey, Sigrid?

Sigrid: Yes?

Tilda: How come we're not trying to call him back?

Sigrid: The movie's decided we've dropped out of existence again, I guess.

Fili: Come back here!

Bofur: Bain!

Bain: I'm going to get the black arrow! It's just there!

Fili: Why didn't you say so?

Sigrid: Better yet, why didn't you mention before that you'd hidden it? I thought the Master had confiscated it when Da was arrested!

Bain: I didn't think it would matter!

Sigrid: Did you tell me anything when you got back?

Bain: Uh... gotta go!

Tauriel: Leave him! We cannot go back.

Tilda: Bain!

Sigrid: Leave him? You're seriously going to just abandon my little brother to die?

Tauriel: We have to let him go because he needs to get the black arrow to your father to kill Smaug. By not bringing him back I'm making Smaug's death possible; you're welcome.

Sigrid: We established earlier that you don't know what black arrows are or that they're the one thing that can pierce a dragon's hide, so you don't know that!

Tauriel: Look, Sigurd -

Sigrid: Sigrid, actually.

Fili: Ironic, really, since Sigurd famously killed a dragon with a sword.

Sigrid: I thought you were meant to be compassionate!

Tauriel: How am I not being compassionate? Look at me getting everyone to safety!

Sigrid: You're coldly saying to me and Tilda that we have to abandon our father and our brother to burn to death! Could you at least pretend you care about how traumatic this is for us, even if you don't give a damn about his life?

Tauriel: Are you main characters?

Sigrid: No...

Tauriel: Then your feelings are irrelevant.

Sigrid: You are a horrible person.

Fili: What's more, who exactly put you in charge?

Tauriel: Pardon?

Fili: It was already an issue, but now it's a serious issue because you're ordering us to do something morally wrong. Since when were you in charge?

Tauriel: Since I was the main character, now get back in your plot hole!

Bofur: Fili, I agree with you, but she killed several orcs without breaking a sweat, none of us have weapons, she clearly has no regard for life, and there's Oin, Kili, Sigrid, and Tilda to consider. I think you need to keep your head down because I suspect she'd kill any of us just as easily.

Tauriel: Of course I care about life! I'm compassionate!

Kili: I think I should remind you about the way you refused to give me a dagger to defend myself when I was being attacked by spiders, implying that until you saw how hot I am you were OK with letting me die.

Tauriel: Whose side are you on?

Kili: Just saying.

Fili: Do you care about anyone other than yourself and Kili?

Tauriel: Well, I've got to say I don't see you jumping out to go get the kid either.

Sigrid: His name's Bain.

Fili: I have to stay and look after Kili.

Kili: I can walk!

Fili: No you can't.

Tauriel: Any of the rest of you?

Bofur: I'd love to, but the movie seems to have decided my only role is comic relief. I don't even know what the point of me being in Laketown at all is.

Oin: I'm old and deaf except when the movie forgets. I don't really know what the point of me being on this quest is.

Sigrid: Plus I suspect both of you have joined me and Tilda in having dropped out of the universe.

Kili: Question.

Fili: Kili, be quiet.

Kili: No, seriously, what's wrong with this picture? Tauriel's healed me, so why am I still lying in the bottom of this boat being ignored by everyone? I'm supposed to be the romantic lead in this film. Why am I not an option for going to help Bard?

Fili: Maybe she hasn't actually completely healed you.

Kili: I'm going to walk to Erebor tomorrow.

Fili: ... Just get some rest, Kili.

Kili: I'm actually serious. I really ought to have a role - or at least a real line - in this scene. And I'll tell you another reason: I'm supposed to be an archer. These movies have repeatedly gone out of their way to draw attention to that, and for what? Why can't I be involved in the scene where my ancestral enemy is taken down through archery, especially since the black arrow was right there? Surely there's a reason it was separated from Bard to begin with, especially since Bain was able to just find it again with no effort?

Sigrid: That's a good point. Why couldn't Da have just had the black arrow if he was going to need it? Why does Bain need to risk his life for this?

Fili: I agree. Kili obviously can't get involved in a fight right now -

Kili: True love, Fili!

Fili: - But why was the black arrow separated from Bard if not so that someone who has been set up as a badass and an archer can go and get it to him and help, as opposed to a child?

Tilda: Elves are good archers, right, elf-lady? That's a good reason you could have gone to help him.

Kili: Not to mention all the awesome parkour we saw you doing in Mirkwood. You'd even have a better chance of getting past crowds, fire, and canals than any of us.

Tauriel: How did this become about me again?

Sigrid: I'm sorry, isn't everything? After all, you're the main character.

Tauriel: You know what? I'm getting Kili out and that's what matters. Anyone who has a problem with that is welcome to get out and walk.

Tilda: *crying*

Tauriel: OK, look, Tilly -

Sigrid: Tilda.

Tauriel: Whatever. It's going to be fine. Your father and brother are both going to survive without a scratch on them.

Tilda: You don't know that!

Tauriel: Yes I do, because if Bain were killed then it would mean I'd just done something awful, and that can't happen, so he's going to be fine.

Tilda: That doesn't make any sense!

Tauriel: *handwave* It's going to be fine.

Sigrid: *handwave* Asshole.

[heavenly-dio]

A Slightly Bitter Love Story 1

Within UA's office building, through the twisting corridors and dozens of offices, you would find the head office of one Nedzu, the genius animal whose eye for talent and strategy remained unmatched. Within this office, a particularly curious group had assembled. Nedzu himself- it was his office after all- One of Nedzu's trusted teachers, the ever logical Aizawa Shouta, and, oddly enough, the Rank 5 Pro Hero Miruko, arms crossed and foot tapping in annoyance.

The two humans stood behind Nedzu's desk, flanking the small rodent as they stared at the student sitting in the center of the room. They were tall for a 17 year old, and they had longer black hair that fell down their face in long wavy strands, although it was still much shorter than Aizawa's own unkempt hairstyle. The boy, whose face was twisted into a sour expression of frustration, sat with his arms crossed, glaring at the Rabbit Hero with as much heat and anger as she had been sending his way for the last 15 quiet minutes.

Nedzu figured it was about time they broke that silence. “Shogeki-kun, you could just say no, you’ve been glaring at that file fo-”

“Alright sick, later-”

“Sit your ass down, boy!” Shogeki Akira groaned in frustration while Nedzu just sighed, asking Miruko to keep her voice down. She harumphed loudly, crossing her arms and continuing to bare her teeth at her student intern. He gave her back just as much as she gave him, really really not in the mood for her shit today.

“Shogeki-kun," Nedzu decided to try again, "While I can’t force you to accept this offer, I’m sure it will be of great benefit to the both of us.”

“Look Nedzu-sensei, I get it, I really do, but how the hell would I benefit from this? I already have to deal with my classes and training, not to mention my internship with this bitch!” He gestured to Miruko, who just rolled her eyes at him. “I don’t have time for any of this, not that I would want to do it anyway.”

“Hey brat," Shogeki looked back over at Miruko, who had lost her scowl, "Quit being a jackass and actually think this through. The League has had a leg up on the heroes for too long, and we finally managed to catch one. This is a victory these whelps," She gestured to Nedzu and Aizawa with her head, "Desperately need. Now quit causing problems and put what I've taught you into action."

The student pinched his nose, trying to ignore the small bit of shame he was feeling that was quickly replaced with more annoyance. He turned to Nedzu, "Alright, alright. Let's say I agree to this crazy ass plan you've got. What then? I still have my classwork, plus my extra coursework for advanced classes, and hero training, and my internship. I'm running on fumes at the end of my days as is, I don't have the time to play babysitter to some blonde bimbo in a sailor outfit."

"We've thought it over," Aizawa spoke up, bringing the students attention to him, "And we're prepared to transfer some of your classes into a workload only structure. You'll be given all of your work for that class at the beginning of the month, and you'll be able to complete them on your own time- Lectures no longer required."

Shogeki hummed, "Alright, but what classes? Hero training is obviously not an option, I'm acing the entirety of mathematics, so I guess that? And Modern Hero Art History, not that I give a damn about that class anyway."

“Is that so?” Nedzu glanced over at Aizawa in the corner of the room, who returned the look with a dead stare. Looking back, the ferret-like creature shuffled around a few papers on his desk and said, “I think we can drop Modern Hero Art and Mathematics.”

The student blew air out of his nose in thought, before he sighed, nodded his head, and leaned forward to sign the paperwork. He shook Nedzu's paw and asked,  “When am I getting her?”

“We’ll have the police bring her to your dorm in about a week. We’ll make your classmates aware of the basics of the situation and we’ll help you rearrange your room to accommodate.”

“Yeah, that makes sense" I'm gonna nee- Wait, wait wait wait, she’s gonna be shacking up with me?! I agreed to babysit her, not marry the psycho.”

Aizawa jumped in with, “There needs to be a constant watch over her, so measures will be taken to ensure she’s never more than 20 meters away from you. Any chance she has to escape or cause harm to another student, she’ll no doubt take, so you can’t let her out of your sight. Hygiene and other more private concerns will be deliberated to a female classmate of your choosing, however the large majority of her captivity is your responsibility.”

“The hell is gonna stop her from slitting my neck in my sleep?”

“We’ll be changing the lock on your door from the standard deadbolt to a special electromagnetic lock that Power Loader is designing. It’ll only open when a current of 2 Million Volts run through it, a dangerous level of electricity that very few people in this school have the ability to interact with.”

“Alright, I see how she’ll be unable to escape, but you glossed over the bit about her maybe killing me.”

“All staff and students will be made aware that opening that door themselves will result in severe consequences, meaning that if she kills you, she’ll be left to starve to death.”

“Glad to see my safety is of such a high conce-” Miruko clocked him on the head, a sign that he should probably quit running his mouth. Growling and feeling a bit of blood in his mouth, he swallowed and gave up trying to figure out the situation and just stood up to leave. “I’ll assume you assholes won’t just leave me to die and take my leave then. Need to make sure I hide most of my important shit at my dad’s place, but I’ll wait on you guys to help with the furniture stuff. Anything else I should know?”

“Yeah, actually.” Miruko spoke up, “Stop giving the cops such a hard time, you’re not a pro hero yet, so the cops are gonna have to go through the standard procedures whenever you actually bag a criminal. It’s not their fault, so stop acting like a jackass.”

“I’m not giving them a hard time, I’m just showing them a video on my phone that I’ve found to validate my actions.”

“Oh god, it’s not Stain’s video is it?” Aizawa asks from the corner.

“No, it’s a video of me saying ‘Shogeki Akira is my intern and he’ll do what he wants’.” Miruko gave the second-year student a look like she was just asking him to argue with her. Well, if she was asking…

“Well, you did let me record that video.”

“Because that was the only way I could get you to quit calling me at 3 am from the police station every time your sorry ass got arrested for beating up thugs when you couldn’t sleep!”

“And I haven’t woken you up since, now have I?”

“Shogeki-kun, you can return to class now.” Nedzu interrupted what was quickly becoming a pissing contest before either of them could come to blows, or more realistically, before Miruko could beat him into the ground for disrespecting her authority.

The younger hero in training was only too happy to leave, saying over his shoulder, “I don’t have to go to Mathematics anymore, so I’m heading back to my room. Later boys.” A snarky handwave followed and it was only Aizawa’s capture gear that stopped the rabbit hero from chasing him down.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

“Damnit man, I thought we told you not to get yourself expelled.” The voice that came from behind him was playful, if not still somehow mature at the same time.

With a heavy sigh, Shogeki looked up from packing a box with now-unneeded textbooks and over to his door, mildly upset to see Totsu standing there with his arms crossed. “Will you fuck off and leave me alone for once in your life, I’ve got enough shit to do without having to play 20 questions with you.”

“Oh please, we both know I’d kick your ass at-”

“Coffee table.”

“What are you, a wizard?! How do you do that?”

“You always guess coffee table first, even Hamada knows that, and she’s as scatterbrained as they come.” Totsu pouted, ignoring Shogeki’s very obvious annoyance and sitting on his bed. “What do you want, Totsu, I’m busy. I have to make room for a roommate, because being forced to live with all of you apparently wasn’t punishment enough.”

“Would you lighten up, it’s probably not that ba-”

“She’s a serial killer who’s killed over 90 people.”

“You’re complaining about sharing a room with a chick? Don’t you know that half of the guys in our class would kill to be in your shoes right now?”

“Did you literally not hear a single word I just said?”

“Wait, you’re tossing your neons?!” Totsu pointed to a box of neon wall signs wrapped in an excessive number of towels. “Dude, those are sick, I’ll give you 10,000 yen for them.”

“First of all, those are worth at least 500,000 total, so fuck off my dick with this 10,000 shit. Second, fuck you, third, I’m not tossing them, I’m taking them back to my dad’s place for safekeeping. Supposedly this bitch can kill with her teeth, so I’m not gonna give her chemical weapons in the shape of a glass pineapple.”

“Ooh, are we making fruit salads in here? I heard pineapple!” This time the voice was high pitched and feminine, and the face in the doorway was one made completely of water.

“Hamada, get out of here, we’re not making fruit salads, I’m movi- Why won’t you people leave me alone! Go away, Kikai!” Shogeki screamed at the large robotic student that had appeared behind Hamada, spooking them a bit. The robot charged down the hall, seemingly upset, leading Hamada to voice her thoughts on Shogeki’s rudeness. “Goddamnit, Totsu, go get Kikai and calm them down, I need to talk to Hamada about some shit.”

“Don’t go sleeping around, now, your new girlfriend will get all upset.” The shorter boy left with a cheeky laugh, ducking under a textbook thrown his way.

“Stupid bastard. You can’t even have sex, Hamada, your body doesn’t allow it… Right?” Shogeki shot the water girl a look, gesturing to her body.

“Well, not with you Sparky, you’d drive me a different type of crazy.”

“Can you not do this?”

“Like, I get what you mean, bu-” He shoved his arm into her shoulder and released a small shock, causing her body to lose its shape and collapse into a puddle, her clothes falling with wet smack.

“I get that you love talking, but seriously shut up for a minute.” She reformed just her upper body, sticking out of the floor and causing water damage that he’d probably have to fix later but whatever. “The principal is giving me one of those League bastards to keep an eye on, and there’s certain shit I can’t really do. You’re gonna be in charge of that shit.”

“Like what?”

“Like making sure she’s not turning a wall tile into a shank when she’s in the shower or something. Despite Totsu’s efforts, we don’t have co-ed bathrooms, so I’m not really allowed to be around when she’s showering, so you’ll have to tag in for that.”

“How’s it pay?”

“…Fuckin what?”

“How much are you paying me? This is a job right?”

“No, I’m not getting paid, so neither are you bitch. Got a problem, talk to Nedzu, now get out.”

“Fine, I will talk to Nedzu.” Hamada pouted, reforming the rest of her body and walking out of his room with her arms crossed.

With a deep sigh, Shogeki put the last few textbooks into the box and taped it up, carrying it down to the common room. He sent a message to his father to figure out a time to pick them up and went back up to his room. Taking a quick look around, he decided he’d done enough with his day and retreated back to his room, planning to lie down on his bed to wait until dinner. He used his phone to look up some extra info on this Toga chick he was gonna have to be putting up with. He was aware of the basics, just about anyone knew who the League of Villains were, and the names of the members had become common knowledge to most.

After 20 minutes of searching the internet, he still hasn't found any news of her capture. He had to give it to Miruko, when she decided she wanted to keep quiet she actually pulled off the impossible and didn't make a scene. Since he figured he wasn't gonna find anything he didn't already know, he put his phone to the side and crossed his arms behind his head. Once Toga was passed off to him, he fully expected his precious peace and quiet would disappear in its entirety. It would be wise to savor it while he still could.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

2-A Student Spotlight

Shogeki Akira- Male

Birthday- 8-10

Quirk- Electricity

Hero Name- The Gigawatt Hero: Shock Jockey

Heroic Rank 1

Academic Rank 3

6 foot tall, angry, tired, and rarely irrational. Extremely overworked and irritable. Top of the class, with a strong belief in the law. From a long family of servicemen. Black hair past his shoulders, often tied back. Piercings in his eyebrow, nose, ear and lips.

Artwork by Brabbit

https://brabbitwdl16.tumblr.com/

[wackygoofball]

Moodboard: Jaime x Brienne - Erin Brockovich AU

To send this ahead... I know that Brienne’s character is much different from that of Erin in the movie, but by giving some over to Jaime and twisting and shredding things, I found it a very intriguing plot bunny! :D

Brienne doesn’t have it easy lately. Just recently she had to move into a new, shabby house on the outer outskirt of King’s Landing. She can no longer afford her old apartment in King’s Landing after she was fired from her secretary job because she had to take off to take care for her foster children Arya and Sansa and the boss showed little understanding for a single parent taking care of two traumatized girls. And now she stands there with bills to pay and no one willing to hire her.

Sometimes she really wished Catelyn had chosen any other person to take care of her girls in case of her demise, but as things stand, there was no other way. Bran and Rickon are with Osha and Luwin whereas Jon could not possibly take care of his siblings as he was drafted for service at the Wall. Brienne wants to honor that vow since Cat helped her a great deal in the past, but she feels all the more like failing as she cannot provide for the girls what they would deserve after the losses they had to suffer: their parents, oldest brother, his wife, and their home in Winterfell.

However, Brienne won’t let this stop her, so she goes through advertisements and calls any office offering jobs in the hope to find something new. She applies for a job as a secretary in Tyrion Lannister’s law firm, a small thing that mostly runs itself as far as she can judge. Brienne is little impressed when she meets the boss, because Tyrion Lannister does not strike her as a passionate lawyer. Instead, he spends his time looking after women to check them out and drink from his flask hidden under the table.

Brienne applies not as “Brienne of Tarth” but “Brienne of Morne,” her mother’s maiden name. She would rather not, but whenever she applied for jobs she was linked to her father’s ruined company and her failure to ever become a top lawyer due to personal choices she made in the past. She applied for jobs in law firms as a lawyer again and again because she went to the best schools, had excellent grades, but her past continues to haunt her. She is either overqualified, they tell her, or she doesn't have enough courtroom experience, or they think she is a failure because her father's firm went downhill without her being able to stop it. Thus, she writes applications below her profile, leaves out most of her personal past and just hopes to finally get a steady job to provide for Sansa and Arya. She is desperate.

Tyrion is hesitant at first, arguing that he normally looks for "prettier" secretaries, but he has to give in eventually because Brienne won't budge and proves that she can do the job better than any of the other applicants.   Sansa and Arya give her trouble too, Arya gets into fights at school whereas Sansa won’t stick to Brienne’s rules, stay out late and leave her guessing to where the girl is headed.

So no, things are not easy on Brienne, but she won’t let that wear her down as she, at the very least, finally got a job at the law firm to cover the costs. She works her ass off at the office until she stumbles over what seems to be a small case involving selling property to a big chemical industry called The Alchemists' Guild, a business that focused on wildfire and its derivatives. They want to buy properties close to their plant on the outskirt of King's Landing, in a very poor area not that different from the one where Brienne now lives with her girls.

Brienne asks Tyrion if she can look into the case, after all, she can tell something is odd with the numbers due to her experiences she did not list for her application. He handwaves her proposal, much more concerned with his pretty new “intern” Shae.

Fueled by her wish to finally do something close to her past in the law, Brienne heads down the dusty roads to meet the people The Alchemists' Guild wants to purchase the properties from. While most won’t speak to her at first as Brienne doesn't think she has it in her to make people listen to her, the young woman is surprised when people start to tell their stories. Sooner rather than later, they trust her because she listens to them and gives them the facts rather than what they call “lawyer talk”. Brienne continues to gather information, doing what she is accustomed to as a former lawyer: she talks to experts, puts together evidence, and essentially starts to build a case she has any intention to present to Tyrion once she made certain that she is onto something.  

Back home, things don't look as bright, however. Her nanny quits on a whim, leaving Brienne with no one to pick up the girls, make them dinner and the like until she gets home. It gets so bad that one day, the woman she hired to look after Sansa and Arya just doesn't show up and leaves the girls to walk home all by themselves. She is in a panic until she finds them with the recently moved-in and to her mind totally annoying one-handed biker-wannabe Jaime. He has barbecue with them and particularly Arya seems to like the guy who insists on only being referred to by his first name. Ever since he said he took fencing lessons in his youth and would have no trouble teaching her the basics, the girl is sold on the wannabe-biker. Jaime and she thus suggest to Brienne that she should hire him as the new nanny.

Brienne doesn’t know what to do with all this because a man looking like this, acting like this, making lewd comments all the while supposedly being good with teenage girls? How does that fit? The two eventually agree that he gets a shot at taking care of the girls in exchange for a bit of extra money. Jaime says he can use it because with just one hand, working on the construction sites became difficult and the gigs are scarcer around this season.

And so, a truce is born.

Brienne continues her investigation and puts in all of her efforts as she grows increasingly aware of the sheer importance this case has to the people involved. She starts to piece together that the The Alchemists' Guild tries to cover up literal dirty business, relating to people around the area getting sick in large numbers and their usage of wildfire. Brienne suspects a pattern behind this and figures that there must be a connection between the water supply for the town and the plant.

Thus, Brienne wants to request the records to obtain copies. However, the lady sitting at the front desk of the archive won’t let her in. Brienne suspects that she is in cahoots together with The Alchemists' Guild. Brienne fails to charm her way into the archives, that’s never been her strong suit, which is why she heads back to the house feeling like an utter failure.

Back home, she sees that Sansa and Arya really take a liking to Jaime, who runs the house just fine, if a bit unconventionally. When Jaime sees Brienne drag herself into the house, looking like someone just took her favorite medieval sword fighting film away, he wants to know what's wrong with her. She won’t admit at first, after all, Brienne hates to show weakness, but Jaime won’t budge and continues to poke her for information until she gives in and admits that she failed today.

“The downsides of being as ugly as a mare: I can't charm my way into the archive,” Brienne sighs.

“You can be charming in your own way if you try.”

“Shut up. And anyway, it's a lady.”

“Doesn't mean you could not put on a flirty face. Maybe she's looking for a bit of an adventure after all. I don’t judge.”

She rolls her eyes. “I never should have told you.”

“Fine, fine, I stop. I stop,” he laughs. “But I may have a solution.”

“Which is?”

Jaime points at himself with a smug grin. “Me.”

“You are the solution how? No offense, but you don't inspire... confidence in your legal status, shall I say?” Brienne scoffs.

“You said it. It's about flirting. And I am really good at that.”

“Are you? I did not notice.”

“Because I have no intention of flirting with you. I am your employee after all. If you properly compensate me, though, I can do expand my services, only just for you, wench.”

“Compensate you.”

“Well, you will have to give me a bit of a starter to set things up. For that, you get all the copies you want so desperately.”

“You are supposed to take care of Sansa and Arya. That’s what the truce is about, remember?”

“And they will be gone for a whole week for that school trip, remember?”

“... I forgot.” Brienne grimaces. It rubs her in the wrong way that Jaime already handles things so well that she finds herself forgetting things she wouldn’t have, but the job consumes so much of her time that she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

“Thought so,” Jaime chuckles. “So I got nothing to do anyway. Give me fifty stags and I will get you those copies tomorrow after we dropped the girls off. Deal?”

“... What's the worst that can happen, huh?”

Brienne is to find out the next day, remaining rather irritated by Jaime’s cryptic messages who says he will meet her outside the archive and that she is supposed to wait for the “big show.” She doesn't know what to expect until a very suave looking Jaime walks up to her, dressed in nice clothes, his hair in a neat bun, beard trimmed, stump securely hidden away in his fancy jacket, looking nothing like the biker she got to know and yelled at the first time she met him.

Jaime is having his dear fun at Brienne’s ogling at him before proceeding inside and charming the lady into giving him access to the archives. Jaime pretends to be an “intern” working for some “nasty lady” who only ever treats him badly.

“She yells at me and only ever bosses me around. Can you imagine?”

“Oh, trust me, I can.”

Brienne is bound to wait until Jaime re-emerges with the promised copies, looking like he just won the lottery. Brienne almost feels tempted to hug him, but just almost. Jaime is feeling pretty ecstatic at her blushing and evidently checking him out. He tells Brienne she can request his services again any time she needs it.

“Though next time, you may have to take me out for dinner afterwards.”

“… We’ll have to see about that.”

Brienne finally feels a bit vindication when she comes to the office, ready to present her findings to Tyrion, but that hope is instantly crushed when she finds her desk cleaned, stuffed into a box, and the other employees looking at her with nothing but misgiving. When she demands to know what is going on, Tyrion calls her to his office to inform her that he can’t keep a secretary who doesn’t come to work, seemingly having forgotten that she told him she wanted to investigate this case, and to top it all, he does not appreciate that she lied about her identity. He reveals to her that he did some research on his own and figured out that she is actually the “infamous” Brienne of Tarth.

Brienne is enraged because he dug through her past without her consent, looking at what she tried to bury, all of that pain that cost her so very much, not just the family company, not just her reputation as a lawyer, but also her father who died shortly after he had to file for bankruptcy due to business partners making bad investments on his behalf. She storms out of the building, furious but also desperate because she just lost her source of income.

Back home, Jaime is fixing things around the house to the best of his abilities. Brienne loses her cool a last because she can't afford to pay him anymore, she can't do anything right.

“Everything I touch, it just breaks apart.”

She confesses to Jaime at last what went on in her past, tells him all about her father’s failing business, how her father didn’t involve her in the business until it was too late because he wanted to give her the freedom to follow her personal mission of defending those people in court who couldn’t defend themselves. She tells Jaime all about her father’s death, and how that left her with massive debts to pay, but despite her experience and education, she was forced into taking small jobs, hide herself, because she never made more out of herself when she still could.

“And now I am not just failing myself, I am failing Sansa and Arya. Seven Hells, I am even failing you. I am failing everyone!”

To her great shock, she finds herself in the arms of the man she has a truce with. Jaime comforts her and holds her close when her world is on the verge of falling apart. And for the first time in a long time, she simply lets go, allows herself to accept that comfort, to let someone else hold her when she is so used to keeping it together for others.

Jaime trusts her with some of his past at last, something she never demanded of him to know, how he lost his hand during his time in the military and returned a war veteran with trauma but no family to support him when it mattered. His father just wanted him to join the family company and his sister could not care less about him as she was too absorbed into her own affairs. Even his little brother, who used to look up to him, wasn’t there for him when it mattered. Jaime only ever found joy in riding his motorbike and eventually he was so fed up with the family that he could not take it anymore and simply started to drive, never looking back.

One thing leads to another and the two fall into each other’s arms and into the bed. And for a time, things seem fine again, however broken, because Jaime is all the things Brienne wouldn’t have thought him to be when they first met. He is soft and caring as well as witty and snarky. And Jaime finds that with Brienne, he can finally talk to someone who understands, who bothers to listen, who doesn’t look at him as a lesser man for the choices he made, for the hand he lost and the lifestyle he chose for himself. For the first time in a long time, neither one feels alone in this world.

Sometime later, Jaime takes the girls out for something fun to do so that Brienne has the house to herself and can make some phone calls to find a new job. Brienne is surprised when shortly thereafter, Tyrion winds up on her doorsteps. He says he read her report and finally understood that he was being “kind of a cock” for thinking she was taking time off without telling him and was indeed working this whole time as she had insisted.

“I just thought you were lying,” he admits.

“I don't, not when it comes to those things.”

“You lied about your name.”

“I put in my mother's name because whenever I applied with my own, no one would give me a chance. And I find that kind of unfair, wouldn’t you agree?”

“It is... So, can I come inside?”

“Under the condition that I will throw you out the moment on I am fed up.”

“I suppose I will have to agree to those terms, Miss Tarth.”

Tyrion and she sit down for a long overdue conversation about the case. Tyrion lets her know that he is now convinced that she is onto something big. He wants to work the case, with her, and have a look at the research she gathered but did not include in the report she left at the office before storming out.

Brienne, remembering Jaime's words about how she has to see more worth in herself, demands not just her job back, but to be accepted as who she is and what she is, lawyer Brienne of Tarth. And a raise. Tyrion likes the change of tone and agrees, telling her that he found a replacement anyway, in Shae.

“She does not know how to file reports, but she is good at making coffee.”

“I suppose that's not the only thing you see as being of merit.”

“Far from it.”

“Be it as it may... I have one more condition.”

“Which is?” he wants to know.

“If we go to court with this, if we really work this case, you will cut down on your alcohol consumption. I won't have a partner in on this case who sleeps under the office desk. The people I talked to, they matter to me, their lives depend on our success, and I won’t let someone in on the case who isn’t a hundred percent committed to the cause.”

“I am a very highly functioning alcoholic.”

“Cut it down or cut me out. Your choice.”

“You learn fast.”

“I may have a good teacher, though he still has to prove himself.”

Tyrion asks her to have another look at the archives because there must be more to what she currently has. Brienne says that she will have to ask her “friend” to do that, letting him know that she had no luck whereas her friend did. Tyrion is amused by the arrangement and jokes about how that sounds more like this “friend” is to her what Shae is to him. Tyrion suggests to her that he should meet that guy as well, to instruct him on what to look for. He has a greater knowledge regarding those matters than Brienne happens to have because he worked similar cases before. Brienne agrees to the arrangement.

That is the moment Jaime returns with the girls. Brienne tells him about the good news, only for him to go completely blank when he sees Tyrion and Tyrion sees him. Brienne doesn't know what's happening until both drop the bombshell that Jaime is Jaime Lannister and that this is his brother. Brienne never mentioned the name of the law firm to Jaime because he said he did not care.

As it turns out that the brothers were estranged after Tyrion took off to Essos to work for Daenerys Targaryen as a legal advisor when Jaime would have needed him most after the loss of his hand. When he made the cut away from Cersei and Tywin, Jaime thought Tyrion would stand by his side, but he did not. Instead, Tyrion rather kept out of the affairs and hid away in Essos. Jaime never forgave him that and broke with him the same way he did with the rest of the Lannister clan.

Jaime leaves the house in a hurry, unable to deal with his brother and his past catching up to him. Brienne goes after him and comforts him, to “return the favor.” While she won't ask him to go back to the archive and thus help his brother, Jaime says he will do it because he's seen what wildfire can do in the warzone under Aerys in particular, and he could not live with himself if he let people get away with using it.

“Just don't expect me to make peace with my brother.”

“I don't.”

“Then the truce remains intact.”

The work continues and the three work on their parts of the case. Brienne keeps gathering evidence and interviews to connect the dots, Tyrion preps up the battle tactic alongside her and gets back into his old game as the stellar figure he used to be in court despite his height, and Jaime ventures through the archives and on occasion charms his way into the hearts of the locals they have to interview when Brienne can't seem to get through to them.

However, big trouble is on the way and one set-back hunts the next. Running out of money, subtleties from the team of lawyers they are up against, files disappearing, threats, and unknown phone calls are only some of the problems they are facing.

The investigation starts to take its toll on Jaime’s and Brienne’s burgeoning relationship. Jaime doesn’t know whether he can commit to this kind of life he slipped into, after he embraced a life without strings attached for so very long. Brienne, for her part, can’t slow down and dedicates almost all of her time to he work. She would love to spend more time with Arya and Sansa, but she has a responsibility towards those people, she made a promise and has to keep it, has to, has to, has to. However, she also struggles with her feelings for Jaime because she doesn’t want to hold him back, well aware that he is still coming to terms with his PTSD he suffered in the war. She doesn’t want to burden him and doesn’t feel like she can make him stay. After all, she is not flirty, is not charming, and bad luck just keeps sticking to her flat heels.

And all of that happens in the midst of a legal war about to begin between The Alchemists' Guild and Brienne and her team.

But will they win?

Will justice win?

And what may be the costs of that battle?

Only time will show.

Additional Image Source: Erin Brockovich (2000).

[motheatenscarf]

ANYWAY, before I got, uh, COMPLETELY DISTRACTED by the return of a certain character (also Kira, hi, I missed you too, you’re great, my Jedi literally named her son after you but that was the son she had with Scourge SO... I’m sorry) I was gonna talk about how much I fucking love the little posse you’ve got developing in the Republic faction?

I mean, let’s start off strong here with Tau and Arn. I already fucking loved Tau from Ossus and she only continued to endear me with what a great teacher she is and how much she already clearly adores her padawan. She’s fantastic with him and props to Gnost Durall for having the smarts to bring two wounded, questioning people together to help heal each other and build on one another, goddamn I love them so much. Individually they’re great on their own too, I’ve talked about how much I love Tau’s conflicted feelings about a Jedi’s role in conflict and her own use as anything other than a killer. And now Arn is just a SWEET BABY BOY, I’m so glad we get an actually decent depiction of trauma through him for once. Yeah, I could do without the whole “cybernetic character is MAYBE GONNA GO DARKSIDE” cliche AGAIN but it’s nowhere near as egregious as I thought it was gonna be. He’s not some bitter, broken, hate fueled “morally gray” character, he’s sweet and thoughtful and unsure of himself and even timid- he just has hella PTSD and lashes out in his trauma when he’s literally triggered like a war veteran. So to put him under Tau’s tutelage, where she knows that EXACT feeling and can help him through it, is brilliant. 

And I LOVE how good she is with him, I cannot stress that enough! When he fucks up she doesn’t yell at him or talk down to him or lecture him, she helps him through it and you as the player get to do the same. It’s absolutely pulling on my goddamn heartstrings. She’s SO KIND, I love a Tau, I love the her so much. I want to romance her so badly. If my track record post-Scourge holds true, I just have to wait until about 2026 for that Tau Romance. I specifically made Vane to romance Tau. Sometimes a family can be a beat up old Colonel, a sad wise beautiful statue of a Jedi, and their fully grown baby boy son.

Also Arn sends a message about how he immediately spotted how he could ease some of Jakarro’s discomfort but didn’t want to presume to tell him his business when he doesn’t know him so he passes the message onto you and asks if you can tell him. He’s such a good!! What a sweetie. I love this boy, I want to protect him.

I continue to love Gnost Durall and even his interactions with Lana were surprisingly endearing. I hate to see how much happier Lana is in the Republic than Theron is with me even pretending to still be loyal to the Sith as a saboteur. 

Also I really like the new Chancelor! And that Senator on Onderon. And honestly, even the 3 new Dark Council Members (well, they’re not NEW, they’ve been established, they’re just new to their seats of power). Bioware, writing a sensible woman in power who isn’t power hungry or “insane”????? What universe did I walk into?????

And of course Daerun continues to be an absolute fucking delight, I like his odd little friendship with Gnost Durall and he’s the perfect flamboyant, devastatingly tactical foil to Vowrawn. Jake compared him to Iroh earlier and that’s exactly the kinda vibes I get from him, it was a spot on comparison.

They did a fantastic job with making all of these characters likable and memorable, I am genuinely fond of all of them and their interactions only make them seem like stronger and even more endearing characters. I know everyone keeps talking about how “The Sith have changed, the Sith have changed” but they don’t seem to show any real change except that maybe they aren’t actively committing resources to screwing each other over the way they were the last time they invaded Corellia. Meanwhile, the Republic has somehow gotten its fucking shit together and created not only a functional government with a competent military structure (the SIS aside, Jesus fucking Christ Jonas why did you call my Warrior IN THE DARK COUNCIL CHAMBERS?) and a Jedi order committed to supporting each other through their darkest times without fear or judgement???????????

So yeah, Aerasuni went back to the Republic. I was actually very surprised that they were willing to grant full citizenship and ignore the criminal records and wartime activities of my underworld and formerly Imperial characters which... holy shit? Just makes me honestly that much angrier about the Saboteur route.

Having played both, the only thing I liked better about the Imperial Story was that it starts the player out as an active protagonist, you’re sent to Onderon on the mission that starts the fucking plot. Republic faction, you go there just because Arn needed someone to drive him to meet Tau and you know Tau and are nice, so why not let it be you, I guess, and then plot happens around you and you just sort of fall into it. 

I was okay with the KotFE/KotET/Iokath/Traitor arc stuff because it was all stuff that was very relevant to Tallia, who is my main and whom I adore, but I think going forward I’m just kinda gonna have to handwave uh, everything, if the Republic stuff continues to just run laps around the Imperial content. And the Empire stuff wasn’t even bad! It was just sort of okay. I imagine if you’re playing a loyalist it’s immensely satisfying but that’s not my jam, I’ve been playing lightside weenie reformists since 2013 (I say, even as they lop the heads off of slave trading Sith on the Dark Council jesus FUCKING christ that was intense). Ain’t gonna change now.

I’m gonna think on how this might affect Tallia’s story, I’ve been toying with the idea of her defecting for realsies and just saying she does the Republic story stuff with Aerasuni, but wasn’t sure how I’d even handle that. Because I mean, no way in hell they’d ever welcome all these ex-Imperials into the Republic, not without some heavy strings, and oh wait, they did. They did... exactly that. Huh. Welp. I guess that’s that then.

I’ll have to think on this next week though because we have a Halloween one-shot in D&D this week where the theme is undead maffia so I’m obviously going to be playing a shambling charismatic zombie with cinderblock boots named Jimmy Coffin.

[wandaposting]

Hi!! Thank you so much for gifing all those scenes and your Wanda appreciation is magnificent and what she deserves! Did you like Endgame overall?

i had to wait a bit before responding to this because i don’t know how i feel about endgame overall sldfkslf

what i LOVED WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY SOUL

EVERY NANOSECOND OF WANDA MAXIMOFF

what i loved

nebula

her interactions with tony on the benatar, playing paper football with him, giving him the last rations ;__;

reconciling with 2014 gamora ;___;

scott lang being a cutiepie as always

hulk eating hunk-a-hulk-a-burning fudge :)

“hail hydra” they actually did it in a way that made people love it instead of hate it, those mad lads

america’s ass

tony stark 3000 ;___________;

revisiting old films from a different pov was interesting!!

rhodey being real af

rocket raccoon also being real af

steve’s last stand, i mean dawg

basically that entire third arc up until ……… the steve scenes

what i liked

most of the movie p much

more cameos from the community cast sklfds cute

what i am not Fond of but can rationalize an Understanding of

tony dying :( - him living and enjoying the rest of his retirement with morgan and pepper would’ve been the far superior ending for me, but i can see how this closes out his arc as The main character of the 2008-2019 MCU in epic and tragic fashion

natasha dying :( - after some thought i understand her choice, it would’ve been better if we got more context of her being stressed and driven af during the 5 year period, i think. maybe she’ll come back to life in her movie who knows (if secret empire did it it can HAPPEN) but i want her to liiiiiiiiive, i mean are they really going to have another SOLO(ish) situation sdklfsj

fat thor :| - apparently his depression has many layers, like an onion. or dante’s inferno. there’s depression circa infinity war and then there’s Big Lebowski Depression. i feel like fat thor as a haha-running-joke dragged on for way too long after how impactful his grief and anger already was in infinity war, but i guesssss he’s in a better place now and i’m def looking forward to seeing his story continue from hereee

there were a couple other jokes that felt dragged out. like the “aww scott wook at the cute wittle puppy” one. eh.

what i don’t like and don’t expect to ever like, i basically hate it

that steve ending huh

“end of the line” my ass… but i have to believe he at least broached the topic with bucky privately, and asked if he wanted to come, and i have to believe that bucky made the choice to continue his new life in 2023

still are we just going to ignore that sharon carter ever existed

are we going to ignore the preestablished time travel logic that you can’t change the past, ergo you can’t go back in time to be peggy’s secret husband

it’s either this or assuming that he jumped ship to a DIFFERENT timeline (which is even more shitty imo) – but i don’t think that’s how it happened because joe biden steve didn’t come out of the quantum machine?

so is the implication that there were TWO STEVE ROGERS at any given point from the 1940s-2023??? and that there are always going to be two steve rogers for that particular time period forever and ever?? i’m also assuming he had to have showed up at peggy’s doorstep after the agent carter series ended, and we’d have to handwave ………. a lot of other things

i guess sharon’s mysterious great uncle was always on the shitter whenever she came by to visit

that ageing cgi looked great though

still hate it

OVERALL

YEAH I REALLY LIKED IT HAHA

[sebeth]

Young Justice Outsiders: “Princes All”

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

S

 Young Justice: Princes All

 I accidentally spoiled myself of a small part of the episode.  Of course, it was the plot element that would fill me with rage and disgust.  If you’ve read my Young Justice posts, you can guess what it was – Conner’s proposal to Megan.

I’m very puzzled why the writers insist on reuniting the pair.  The creators consistently display a fine attention to detail – there is no way the writers can be oblivious the manipulative, obsessive, and abusive overtones of the relationship.

Conner’s reunion with Megan is simply a case of an abused person returning to their abuser.

Is there a big Conner/Megan fanbase?  Honest question.  The majority of fans preferred pairing for Conner is Tim.  I’ve also seen fan works pairing Conner with Bart Allen, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, and Cassie Sandsmark.  I don’t often see fanworks supporting the Conner/Megan pairing.   As for Young Justice fans, I would say Wally/Artemis, Bart/Jaime and even the very brief Dick/Zatanna have bigger fanbases.

Color me optimistic but I don’t think the marriage will happen. Conner has apparently been carrying the ring around for over a month.  That’s not the actions of a man certain of his decision.

I feel Conner returned to Megan simply because that’s the only non-familial love he’s known.  Besides his family and super-hero friends, Conner is pretty isolated.  And he’s not great in social situations.  The return to Megan, as nauseating as it is, probably feels like a return to normalcy.

I don’t know, I just have a feeling something will happen to end the relationship.  Megan will either revert to her mind-ripping ways – once again breaking Conner’s trust and ending the relationship – or Megan dies by the end of the season.

The prequel issues stated Psimon is back and holding a grudge.  Megan has other victims – that may or may not have recovered – that will hold grudges.  If you’ve read the 1980’s Teen Titans comic you know that Psimon is a vicious and vindictive man.  And he’s all about the sneak attacks.  If I was Megan, I’d be worried.

The creators are rather determined to ignore any consequences for Megan’s actions and to make her life “happy-happy”. I think it’s suspicious.

A hero dies in every season of Young Justice.  Season 1 had Kent Nelson. The video game had Tula.  Jason Todd and Ted Kord died during the time jump.  Wally died in the second season.  The odds of a hero not dying during season 3 aren’t great.  Why promote Megan so hard in the prequel comics? And handwave away any consequences of her actions? Could it be because Megan has a target on her back?

Maybe Psimon strikes during the wedding – causing the erasure of Megan’s mind and later death? Talk about karma!  

Or it could be wishful thinking on my part as I loathe the Conner/Megan pairing!

On to the episode…

We replay the ending of the final episode of the previous season.

July 4, the Watchtower

Kaldur argues with Dick: “This is no time for you to resign.”

Dick insists he’s not resigning, simply taking a leave of absence.

July 4, Markovburg, Two years later:

A young man is told of his sister’s death. Said sister is not only alive but is being experimented on: “Initiate tar protocol”.

Poor Ana’s metagene is not only activated but she is transformed into an energy-tar creature and transported to Rann.

The confused Ana-tar creature attacks members of the Justice League – Ice, Wonder Woman, Black Lightning, Superman, John Stewart, Martian Manhunter – Alanna, and Adam Strange.

Ana dies. Alana scans the creatures and realizes it is a 14 years-old earth child.

The “Young Justice Outsiders” theme is haunting and ominous.  It also clearly displays Apokolips.

July 27, the Watchtower: Megan, rocking the White Martian look, praises the Alpha squad while mentioning the Gamma squad still needs training.

Steel and Black Lightning arrive at the Watchtower. The Justice League are holding a meeting to determine Black Lightning’s fate.  It was his energy blast that killed poor Ana.

Surprise!  Kaldur is now Aquaman and the leader of the Justice League!  It would explain why Kaldur was absent from the promotional trailers and materials.

Megan is leader of Young Justice.  Boo!

Bat(Kaldur), Wonder Woman, Black Lightning, Black Canary, Green Arrow, Doctor Fate, Captain Marvel, Steel, Rocket, Zatanna, Batman, Red Tornado, Plastic Man, Katana, Flash, Hardware, Batwoman, Superman, Ice, John Stewart, and the Martian Manhunter.

Hardware is from the same Milestone universe as Rocket, Icon, and Static.  

Batwoman is a surprise.

Diana confirms meta-human trafficking has spread from earth to other worlds.

Batman, Green Arrow, Black Canary, and Black Lightning are very frustrated with the lack of progress in stopping the meta-human trafficking.

Lex Luthor is the United Nation’s secretary general – and is using the position to be a pain in the League’s rumps.

Batman is done: “But all that matters is the mission. If the UN is a roadblock to that mission, then we remove it by removing the League.”

Kaldur and Diana are not down with that plan.

Bruce and Oliver resign their League memberships.

Bruce’s resignation is accurate to the founding of the Outsiders in the comic books. Back in the 1980s, Bruce needed to rescue Lucius Fox from a foreign country.  The Justice League’s agreement with the United Nations didn’t allow Batman or the League to enter said country. Bruce said “I quit”, formed the Outsiders, stormed the country, and rescued Lucius.

Hardware, Plastic Man, Katana, and Batwoman promptly resign. Katana and Kate aren’t a surprise – Kate is Bruce’s cousin and a Gotham gal and Katana has always been Team Batman.  Plastic Man has been a strong ally of Batman since the late 1990s. Hardware is a surprise as he has no connection with Bruce or Oliver.

Dinah accuses Bruce, Oliver, and company of planning this in advance.  Oliver asks Dinah to join the group, she refuses.  It’s safe to say Dinah and Oliver are taking a break.  Breaks are standard operating procedure for Ollie and Dinah so I’m not overly worried for the future of their relationship.

Jefferson swears he wasn’t part of Bruce and Ollie’s stunt but he came to the meeting to resign in person.

Kaldur and Diana decides to issue a statement disowning their former members’ future actions.

The Young Justice team are chilling in the waiting area. Jaime and Bart are chatting – BFFs or dating? If they are dating, will the show ever make it official?  Tim and Cassie are next to each other – they were thrown together in the season finale – so, still dating? Is it serious? Steph and Cissie are hanging out – a friendship that has strong possibilities.  Unfortunately, the girls never had much interaction in the comics.

Batman strolls in and announces “It’s time.” Robin and Arrowette leave with their mentors.  Tim doesn’t surprise me.  I’ve always felt Tim was the most loyal to Bruce out of all his Robins.  Dick, Jason, and have always banged heads with Bruce.  Damian, if forced to choose, would side with Dick over Bruce.  Tim is Bruce’s “ride or die” Robin.

I’m surprised over Stephanie and Cissie.  As I said earlier, Steph routinely goes against Bruce’s wishes.  Cissie has never had much – if any – interaction with Ollie in the comics.

Bruce asks Jeff to join his group – Jeff refuses as he doesn’t trust Batman and doesn’t want to be part of Batman Incorporated.

Jeff and Bruce have a different relationship as Jeff is very “Team Batman” in the comics.

Are we going to get Batman Incorporated? With a Knight & Squire appearance?

Jeff apologizes to Static: “I’m sorry, Virgil.  Maybe you can find a new mentor. One who is less damaged.”

The duo doesn’t have any type of connection in the comics but it’s a natural relationship.

The rest of Young Justice – especially Cassie and Bart – are very confused as to what is going on.

Moscow, July 28: A disguised Dick Grayson, in communication with Oracle, rescue a few meta-human trafficking victims.

So how long will the writers wait until the identity of Oracle is revealed to the viewers? And will the Joker be responsible for Barbara’s paralysis?

Dick is tracking down Bedlam, who is responsible for the tar mutation goop.

Oracle has spent time around Bart as she refers to something as “crash”.

We switch to Markovia. King Viktor and Queen Illona DeLamb-Markov are holding a press conference. Princess Tara disappeared two years ago.  Brion has recently returned from studying abroad.

The royal couple speaks out in support of Quarqi refugees – fleeing the recent invasion of a Queen Bee-led Biayla - and against metahuman trafficking.

Brion asks Dr. Jace about the results of his meta-gene testing. He tested positive. Brion wants his meta-gene activated.

Dr. Jace was a supporting cast member of the Outsiders in the comic books.

Dick is in Star City. Barbara informs Dick of Bruce and company’s mass resignation. Dick insists he “can’t worry about that now.”

Babs has determined the likely location of the meta-trafficking in Markovia but insists Dick will need backup.

Dick is way ahead of her.

We discover Artemis has moved to Star City and lives with Roy Harper and Lian.

Roy is going by “Will”.

Where’s Cheshire? Did she go back to the dark side?

Where’s young Roy? I don’t remember seeing him on the Watchtower.

July 29th” Future Halo is in the Markovian castle. She lets in others who quickly murder the King and Queen.

Queen Illona’s brother kills the intruder. I’m very suspicious of Queen Illona’s brother.

Dick approaches Happy Harbor.

Hey, there’s Wolfe! Enjoying a nice nap.

Conner is worried about Superman being off planet for so long. He feels a burden to step into Superman’s shoes.

Dick arrives to recruit Conner. Conner agrees. Dick reminds Conner that it’s a non-super suit mission. As in, you can’t wear the “S” shirt.

Dick leaves to find his next recruit.

It’s both interesting – an odd- that Dick didn’t ask Megan along.  Her powers – telepathy, shape-changing, invisibility, phasing – are perfect for covert mission.  Conner’s abilities and personality are the exact opposite of covert.  The reason can’t be that he’s afraid of leaving Young Justice without a leader – Dick states it’s a one-day mission.  So why not bring Megan? Has Dick discovered her mind-wiping spree? Or her assault on Conner’s mind? Has he lost trust in Megan?  I am baffled as to why Dick wouldn’t recruit Megan unless its due to personal issues.

Megan falls back to her manipulative ways: “I don’t want to be that kind of girlfriend, but…I just lost a big chunk of my team to whatever Batman’s got going. I was sort of counting on you.”

Conner’s only going to be gone for 24 hours! Stop being so clingy, needy, and manipulative.

Conner hastens to assure Megan: “You can always count on me. I can prove it.”

Cue the vomit-inducing proposal scene.

Conner, you poor, poor fool. Megan’s playing you like a puppet and you don’t even realize it.  I don’t buy Megan’s “surprised” act.  Megan’s a very powerful telepath – even if she wasn’t purposely reading his mind, there is no way she didn’t catch hints of Conner buying a ring.

I’m very cynical about Megan.  How can we be sure she hasn’t been pushing Conner to propose? Megan is prone to living/retreating in a fantasy life – and she’s been obsessed with and molded Conner from day one.

Sure, Megan’s rocking the White Martian appearance, indicating more acceptance of herself, but her human form is still very “Hello, Megan”.

G. Gordon Godfrey is back. He wants martial law. Queen Illona’s brother claims it was a Quarci metahuman refugee who assassinated his sister and brother in-law.

The Baron states that he will serve as regent as Gregor and Brion, the royal twins, are only 17 years old. If I was the twins, I would be very worried for my safety.

Brion contacts Dr. Jace – he wants his meta-gene activated post-haste.

Metropolis: Jefferson kisses his daughters goodnight.  Hi, Anissa and Jennifer!

Jeff informs Lynn that he’s giving up the costumed life.

Lynn doesn’t believe him: “I’m the sister of a Green Lantern and the ex-wife of a Black Lightning. I know how this quitting the life thing goes.”

Lynn is the sister of John Stewart? That’s a new twist.

Jeff leaves the house and immediately tells Dick “No”.

Dick persists. Jeff insists he “can’t” – his powers aren’t working.

Dick informs Jeff that he “came for the man, not the powers”.

July 30, Midnight: Dick is at the meeting spot. Artemis zetas in. Conner arrives in the sphere-ship, Jeff shows up, and the group head to Markovia.

Cute ending scene – Artemis’s dog sleeps with a Wally plush.

I enjoyed the episode minus the Megan parts. It was pure set-up but I’m very intrigued by Bruce and Oliver’s upcoming shenanigans.  And you can’t go wrong with the Dick-Conner-Artemis trio.

And we have two more episodes! Exciting!

[sage-nebula]

So as I posted about earlier right after the credits rolled, I watched Detective Pikachu today and I honestly loved it. I’m so, so glad that my initial, knee-jerk, negative reaction when they announced that they were making a live-action Pokémon movie was proven wrong. They did a wonderful job, and I teared up at least twice from the sheer overwhelming feeling of love I have for this universe (once at the start with the shot of the pidgey and pidgeot flying in the sky, and then again at the end when they played the Overture, because I always tear up when I hear that song, it never fails).

That said, I want to post a few more indepth thoughts about it, and said thoughts contain spoilers, so everything else goes beneath the cut:

In no particular order:

I never played the actual game this movie was based on, though I knew the major spoilers going in, so the twist at the end (that Tim’s dad was in the body of the pikachu all along) didn’t surprise me. That said, I don’t think that the twist would have surprised me even if I didn’t know the spoilers, and that’s not a bad thing! The twist made sense given everything else that led up to it. I think that in the days of super shocking plot twists people think that no one should ever be able to see the twists coming, but that’s not true. It’s good if twists are surprising, but a viewer or reader should be able to look back and see the signposts that led to that point. Detective Pikachu’s signposts were pretty huge, flashing, and neon, but when you remember that this is a movie that people of all ages are supposed to be able to see and understand, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Words can’t describe the emotion I had at seeing everything in the PokéWorld brought to life. There were pokémon everywhere, in every scene, and I absolutely loved that. I’ve wanted pokémon to be real since I was eight years old. I’m twenty-nine now. This has been a dream of mine for twenty-one years, and while obviously pokémon still aren’t real, seeing them rendered as if they were just filled my heart with so much joy. So much of the relationship between humans and pokémon was properly portrayed, too. I didn’t like the implication that other regions (such as Kanto) don’t have the same bond between human and pokémon as those in Ryme City do, but I think that was just propaganda spread by Howard the more that I think on it. In order for Howard’s plan to succeed, he needed pokémon to be out in open air, exposed so they could be driven mad by the gas. That wouldn’t happen if the majority of people kept their pokémon in pokéballs. So fostering this idea of, “Trainers don’t actually love their pokémon or live in harmony with them, which is why they use pokéballs” actually fits with his plan and makes it easier for him to carry it out, rather than if he had to encourage everyone to release their pokémon from their ‘balls first. So now that I think on it like that, I’m okay with it. That said, a place like Ryme City where pokémon are just EVERYWHERE would still be amazing and I want more of it.

I do wish we saw a bit more variety in the background pokémon. It seemed like it was consistently the same six or seven pokémon in the background. This was probably done due to limitations on how many models they could render, but at the same time it makes sense if you consider that maybe those are just the pokémon most easily available around Ryme City’s general region. (Also, what region is Ryme City in? It’s not Kanto, we know that for sure, so what is it?)

Speaking of Kanto, I cringed when they pronounced it wrong. It’s “Kahn-toe,” not “Can-toe.” Also, since Ryan Reynolds was playing a pivotal character, it would have been nice if they’d taught him that it was “Po-kay-mon,” or at the very least “Pok-uh-mon,” rather than “Pok-ey-mon.” Your average viewer won’t care, but I, someone who has been training since 1998, do.

There were quite a few growlithe and arcanine around, but not nearly enough focus on them!!! I COULD HAVE USED A VERY LONG SCENE WITH AN ARCANINE, THANK YOU. AND ALSO A VERY LONG SCENE WITH A HAPPY CHARIZARD IN A GOOD MOOD.

Speaking of which, I was worried going into it that this movie was going to be anti-charizard propaganda since I knew that some jerkass had one that he used in the battle arena, but I was happy to see that it wasn’t the case at all. It wasn’t the charizard that was bad, because the charizard was pretty peaceful outside of the arena, and also once the drug wore off. It was the trainer who was abusive and drugging his so-called “baby” in the first place. It upsets me that we never learn what happened to that charizard, but I hope that his trainer was arrested and that the charizard goes to someone much kinder and more gentle in the future. =(

I was a bit annoyed that Pikachu kept referring to Psyduck as a “time bomb” because although headaches are how Psyduck’s powers are triggered, it’s a psychic-type, and it doesn’t explode randomly. (And in any case, that’s more of an anime thing, rather than a game thing. In the games psyduck can use their powers whenever.) Also, on that note, Psyduck’s attack should not have worked against the greninja, because greninja are part dark-type and thus psychic-type attacks have no effect on them.

That said, they were given a proper “ewww!” by either Lucy, Tim, or Pikachu (can’t remember which), which is so beyond valid. Greninja are disgusting.

I guess it’s official now that all ditto are being retconned into never being able to transform their eyes, even though in the anime that was just an issue that Duplica’s specific ditto had to work through (and did by the end of the episode) and in the games ditto are able to transform perfectly in battle (not sure about that sidequest in the Alola games because I never did it). We’ve seen it all over the merchandise, and now it’s a plot point in this movie. Although that said, Robert does mention that Howard’s ditto was experimented on, so that might have been a handwave explanation. (Also could that have been a nod to the “ditto were failed clones of Mew” theory? Hmm . . .)

This goes way back to the beginning of the movie, but the sound of a pokéball opening and closing . . . the most blessed sound . . . also Tim panicking because the cubone didn’t choose him dsjkfldjfdsfds 

All in all, though, I really loved it. I thought all the pokémon looked great, the movie made me feel great, and while I didn’t get any cards and I’m sad about that (apparently it was only for opening night at my theater :/), I’m still really glad I went and I’m planning on getting it on blu-ray once it’s out. It was definitely worth it. ♥

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 018

So, if you haven’t noticed, we’ve been in a stretch of filler episodes for a while now.   Mostly they’ve been pretty good, but this one’s kind of not so good.   I’m reluctant to call it bad, but it does have some significant problems.   Let’s start with the title.

As promised, this episode does see Goku reach the end of Snake Way, which he’s been traveling on since... Episode 7, I think.    I’m including the Funimation and Toei episode titles here just to make it clear that they both wanted to emphasize this point.   Goku reaching the end of the road was in the manga, after all, so it’s important.

However, most of this episode is about Gohan turning into a giant ape.   Again.  I don’t know that doing it twice was such a terrible idea, but it hasn’t been that long since the last time, and it’s kind of a bait-and-switch deal, at least the way I see it.   “Hey, Goku reaches the end of Snake Way!”  “Oh, so he’ll start chasing Bubbles, I bet.”  “No, that’s next week.   This episode is practically a rerun.”

So, here’s the deal.   After a tough day of sparring with Piccolo, Gohan has a dream where he’s surrounded by fruit, and he picks up a pineapple only to have it turn into his wicked uncle Raditz.

This causes Gohan to flash back to when Raditz nearly killed his father, and he wakes up in a really unsettled mood.   I’m not sure how to describe it, but he doesn’t seem to know where he is or what he’s doing.

Oh, and the full moon is back, even though Piccolo destroyed it a few months ago.   Gohan sees it and... doesn’t turn into a giant ape.    I don’t understand.

Meanwhile, we keep cutting to shots of a Saiyan space pod, which just about has to be the one that brought Goku to Earth as a baby, but it’s onboard computer keeps repeating “Wake up, Kakarot.”   In the dub, this mantra includes the line “Destroy all life forms.”   It’s strongly implied that Gohan can hear this, even though he seems to be a good distance away from it.

Piccolo notices Gohan acting up and tries to get to the bottom of it, but Gohan starts attacking him, and for some reason he seems to be a lot better at it than normal.   He also keeps running away before Piccolo can really get serious, so he splits himself into two Piccolos to chase after him.

As they fight, Piccolo notices that Gohan’s tail has grown back, and then they notice the full moon is back too.

Piccolo tries to contain the situation using a technique similar to the one Jackie Chun used on Goku at the 21st Budokai, but Gohan opens his eyes long enough to see the moon, and this time it finally causes him to transform.   It’s like he was waiting for the callback to the Jackie Chun battle before he could do it.

So Piccolo tries to destroy the moon again, but his beam passes through it.    It’s a projection of some sort.   I feel like he should have done this a lot sooner than he did.

Meanwhile, Roshi, Bulma, Turtle, and Oolong are toasting a successful Dragon Ball hunt.   They have all seven, so now they just need to wait for the Saiyans to arrive and they can wish Goku back to life.  

Here’s a shot of Gohan scratching his big hairy butt.

Eventually, Piccolo figures out that Goku’s old space pod is projecting a fake moon in the sky, which was probably intended to make it easier for Goku to execute his mission.    For whatever reason, Great Ape Gohan wanders right to it, so his body casts a shadow on the projection.   So Piccolo charges up a Special Beam Cannon (why?) and destroys the pod.  Problem solved.

Piccolo removes Gohan’s tail again and thankfully we’re spared a repeat of him creating a new uniform for the kid.   He seems impressed with the raw power in Gohan’s body, which is kind of dumb since he already dealt with the Oozaru form once before.   I guess this time it was stronger since Gohan’s been training this whole time.  

So, I think what they were trying to go for here was this idea of what Goku might have turned out to be if Grandpa Gohan hadn’t found him.   The pod would have woken him up and created the moon projection, and he would have immediately begun destroying everything in sight.    The implication of all of this is that Saiyans use their babies as sleeper agents, and they might be programmed at birth to follow instructions relayed through their spaceships.   The implication is that the pod had some sort of influence on Gohan, even though he’s only half-Saiyan and he’s never been to Planet Vegeta.  I think that’s what made him bonkers at the start of the episode.   He could hear the pod talking but his brain couldn’t make complete sense of its instructions.

The problem is that a bunch of this premise got overwritten by later continuity, and some of it wasn’t even that much later.   Goku’s space pod will later be salvaged and used to build the ship that takes Goku to Planet Namek, so having Piccolo destroy it here was kind of a bad move.   The anime tried to handwave this error later by saying that there were still some useful tech that survived the blast, but still.

Also, Vegeta’s fake moon technique would seem to conflict with the idea of a Saiyan space pod producing a similar effect.   Why bother making your own fake moon when you can just get your ship to do it for you.   Crucially, if Vegeta had done this, he would have been able to turn it off when the fake moon backfired on him.

Mostly, though, I just don’t get why it took so long for Gohan to transform in this episode.   Past Oozaru transformations were pretty much automatic.   Here, Gohan fights with Piccolo for several minutes before it finally takes effect.   This is especially egregious since Gohan just did all of this a few episodes back.   If not for Episode 8, I could rationalize all of this by suggesting that a half-Saiyan takes longer to transform than a full-blooded one.   But no, we saw Gohan transform.    Maybe his tail literally grew back while he was fighting Piccolo?   I guess that might be it. 

Also, there’s some other stuff that bugs me about this.  Why would Piccolo use the Special Beam Cannon, his ultimate move, to blow up a rickety old spaceship that’s not even moving?   I think the writers were trying to suggest that he might be powering up to kill Gohan, but that’s ridiculous.   Piccolo needs him too badly, and it’s much, much easier to shoot the ship.     Why did Gohan get so much better at fighting just because he had a bad dream and heard Goku’s ship talking to him?   Why did Piccolo have so much trouble wrangling the kid?   A lot of it just doesn’t add up.

Most importantly, I find it pretty silly that Goku’s space pod just happened to be in the same area that Piccolo was using as a training ground.   When we saw it before it had mad a giant crater in a forest, but here it’s kind of stuck in a ravine, like someone picked it up and rolled it off a cliff.   The whole thing’s just too coincidental to be believed.  

There are some good action sequences, though, and I do enjoy the idea of Gohan being affected by Goku’s old spaceship, but the execution really does leave something to be desired.  

Anyway, as for the titular moment, Goku does indeed spot the tail end of Snake Way.  

At first, he’s upset because there’s nothing there, and then he spots a tiny planet overhead, and he jumps for it.    I guess the assumption here is that anyone who can run 1,000,000 kilometers must be able to jump that high.  

As he gets closer, he finds himself pulled in by the planet’s gravitational field, which is much stronger than Earth’s.   Goku can barely move at first.

The first person he sees is a monkey, so Goku assumes this is King Kai.   So, Goz, Mez, Princess Snake, and now Bubbles.   These are all the people Goku has mistaken for King Kai.  King Yemma should have drawn Goku a picture of the guy.

He asks the monkey to give him some fruit, since he can’t climb up the tree himself, but the fruit is so heavy that Goku can barely catch it.   

Then the real, honest-to-goodness King Kai shows up and asks Goku what he’s doing.   Good question.

[mosylufanfic]

The Qualifications for a Date

I was poking around my drafts recently and found this, and decided to finish it. I wrote most of this long before we learned that Caitlin's birthday is in February. So please handwave as hard as you can and pretend that Central City is having an unreasonably warm early spring. Or maybe that it's a more southern city than we thought. Both is good.

The Qualifications for a Date

Cisco hopped out of the breach and took the sidewalk at just shy of a run. He was late, which should be impossible for someone who could take the back way through dimensions and cover miles like walking from one room to another. But that just seemed to make it easier to procrastinate. Latino time found a way, apparently.

His phone notified him that his destination was on the right, and he looked up. He froze on the sidewalk and swore at himself.

He'd heard this place was fancy. Caitlin had told him this place was fancy. But he'd thought fancy meant pulling out his nicest sportcoat, ironing his slacks, and spending extra time on his hair.

There were guys walking in the door who were straight-up wearing tuxes. And the women were wearing the most gorgeous dresses. Like they'd come for dinner before going to the opera or the symphony or -

He looked down at himself, then rubbed his hand over his face. "Okay, fine, whatever," he said into his palm. "Caitlin doesn't care. She picked this place. If she'd thought you needed a tux, she would've said so. It's fine."

He was just standing here being a coward because when he'd opened his mouth to say, "I'd really like to take you out on a date, which I know might be a little weird because we've been friends for most of a decade but I just can't stop thinking about it lately, about kissing you and holding your hand and seeing you smile just for me."

. . . he'd said, "hey, you, where am I taking you for your birthday?"

Coward.

He poked around in his coat pocket for a hair tie and started to pull his hair back. Then he remembered she liked it down; she'd told him so a few times. His hands hesitated.

He tugged the tie out, gave his head a quick shake, and flicked a few strands out of his eyes. Le Fancy Pants or whatever was just going to have to deal with his hair down.

He rolled his shoulders and started toward the front of the restaurant, hoping she hadn't been waiting too long.

"Cisco?" a breathless voice called, and he spun around. Caitlin was coming up the sidewalk behind him.

"Sorry I'm late," she said. "I lost track of the time and then the cab took forever to get to my place and well, I'm here."

"Hey," he said. "No big, I just got here myself. Got caught up doing something last-minute - " Trying to figure out which shirt made him look the hottest, but let her think it was something Vibey or mechanical. "- and I just breached around the corner."

She smiled, and he suddenly clocked to how good she looked. She was wearing a strappy dark green dress that showed off the architecture of her shoulders and the soft curves of her throat and hinted at the swell of her breasts. Her hair was up, her makeup was on point, her jewelry was sparkly, and her shoes were sky-high.

"You, uh," he said suavely. "Wow. You look amazing. By the way."

She blushed and plucked at the sparkling fabric of the sheer wrap around her shoulders. "Thanks. You do too."

He looked down at himself. "Yeah, I'm going for the celebrity casual look. You know how celebrities can get into five-star places wearing, like, sweatpants because they're so famous? I'm hoping they think that's what's going on here and they don't kick me out for not being fancy enough."

"Stop," she said. "Your outfit is several steps above sweatpants and you look very nice. They will absolutely not kick you out."

"How can you be so sure?"

She smiled mysteriously and held out her hand. He started to reach for it, heart skipping a beat, and then he saw a couple walk by them with her hand tucked in the crook of his elbow, all Jane-Austen-movie style. Right. Obviously. He immediately bent his arm at the elbow and let her slip her hand into it, feeling a little sad that he couldn't weave his fingers through hers.

Still, it was nice, having her tucked up next to him like that as he escorted her up the front walk. Maybe that was why old-timey dudes did it.

"This is okay, isn't it?" she asked at the door. "We can go somewhere else if you'd rather."

"No," he said immediately. "No way. Birthday girl gets to pick. This'll be great." He opened the door for her and gave a little bow, rewarded with her soft giggle.

The maitre d's stand was at the base of a set of stairs. He must have heard them approach but he took a moment before looking up. "Good evening, madame, monsieur. Do you have a reservation?"

"No," Caitlin said serenely.

"Ah, I'm so sorry. I'm afraid we are a reservation-only establishment." His eyes lingered on Cisco's loose hair and he looked about zero percent sorry. "If I may recommend the Applebee's down the street - "

Caitlin snapped open her itty-bitty purse, extracted a business card with some scribbling on the back, and held it out. The maitre'd took it and looked at it.

Cisco had never seen a human being actually go Blue Screen of Death before. It was educational.

But apparently maitre d' school, or wherever you went to learn the precise angle at which to look down your nose, also taught the art of graceful backpedaling. "I have just remembered," he said, handing the card back with a single nervous look at Caitlin. "There has been a cancellation. I can seat you now, madame, monsieur. If you'll follow me?"

Cisco expected to be led into the big dining room he could see over the maitre d's shoulder, but instead, he led them up the stairs.

Cisco tugged Caitlin an inch or two closer to his side as they climbed and murmured, "Whaaaaat was that?"

"Just a little leverage," she said, smiling at him.

The stairs led to what looked like a more exclusive dining room. To Cisco's surprise - and probably the surprise of all the richie riches sitting there -  the maitre d' walked them across a corner of the room, opened another door, and up one more half-flight.

That let them out onto a balcony just big enough for a single table, overlooking a gorgeous garden, slowly turning golden as the sun inched toward the horizon.

"Oh," Caitlin said, wide-eyed.

"Wow," Cisco said.

Monsieur Snootface pulled out a chair. "Madame?" he asked, inviting her to sit.

Cisco didn't know if he would have gotten the same treatment, but he sat down quickly before it became an issue.

Monsieur Snootface dissolved for a moment, then reappeared with a basket of bread and a pitcher of water. He filled two of the goblets on the table and said, "Your server will be with you momentarily," and bowed very deeply before disappearing.

The tablecloth was snow white and silky smooth. There was a small phalanx of forks, a little army of plates, a battalion of goblets and cups. Each of them clearly had a very specific purpose.

Perched on top of the plates was a napkin, folded in some mysterious serviette origami into something like a swan, or a cloud, or maybe the Sydney Opera House in linen miniature.

Yep. This was the fanciest of the fancy, right here.

"Just a little leverage?" Cisco asked, shaking out the napkin and laying on his lap, then reaching to unfold the napkin away from the bread. There was a round dish of fancy whipped butter with herbs, sitting next to what looked very much like a doorbell in the center of the snowy white tablecloth. He considered it - modern art? Avant-garde centerpiece?

Caitlin was still staring at their view. "Apparently it was more leverage than I realized."

Cisco waited a moment, buttering the bread, then said, "Uh, yeah, no, that's not gonna cut it, Dr. Snow. I'm going to need the whole story." He took a bite of bread and thought oh, hi, I'm also going to need a forever supply of this stuff.

"Well, I don't know the whole story. But the day after my birthday, I found this in Frost's jacket pocket." Caitlin extracted the little card from her purse again and held it out to him. It was a business card with the name of the restaurant and the owner printed on heavy cardstock. Remembering that the maitre d' had read the back, Cisco flipped it over.

The holder of this card can get a table at any time, for any reason and will be treated as the most honored guest in the house. And the owner's initials.

Cisco goggled at it. Clearly, that had been enough to get them the most exclusive table and Monsieur Snootface falling all over himself.

"Caitlin, how did she get this?" He remembered the nervous looks Monsieur Snootface had kept giving Caitlin and shot a look at the stairs, suddenly horrified. "Oh, shit, she didn't - with that guy?"

"No," Caitlin said, her voice going two-tone. For a moment, Killer Frost's glowing eyes glared at him. "I do have standards, Vibe."

"Sorry," he said swiftly. "Sorry, sorry."

Caitlin shook her head and blinked, eyes going brown. "No, nothing like that," she said in her normal voice. "Like she said, she has standards. And besides, we have a very firm agreement regarding casual sex when she has control of our body."

"Thank god," he said. "Because there's not enough brain bleach in the world. How did she get it, then?"

"Apparently she stopped an armed robbery here one night."

"She did? Awwww. She took down the bad guys and got you a birthday gift?"

Caitlin's eyes went unfocused for a minute. "Stop. You were not."

"What?" he asked, used to hearing half of the conversation when she was talking to her colder half.

She focused on him again before rolling her eyes. "She's saying she actually planned to sell it on eBay."

Cisco laughed. "Upholding the law on her own, without any of us nudging her, that's pretty good. She's really gotten better."

"I guess she has," Caitlin said, smiling a little.

A server in flawless black and white came out. "Monsieur, madame, welcome," she said, looking like she'd been prepping for their visit for the past hour and not probably gotten told about it five seconds ago. "I am Thanh and it will be my privilege to serve you tonight. Is this a special occasion?"

"Her birthday," Cisco said.

She smiled brightly. "Happy birthday, madame."

"It was actually last week," Caitlin mumbled.

"But we're celebrating tonight," Cisco said.

"Excellent," Thanh said. "I shall bring out champagne. Our chef wishes you to know that menus will not be necessary since he will be designing your meals personally."

Cisco swallowed, trying not to remember the old adage that if you had to ask the price, you couldn't afford it. "Tasting menu, sweet. That'll be fun. Um, how much does that run?"

Thanh tilted her head. "Monsieur, I'm so sorry I wasn't clear. Tonight's meal is entirely on the house."

Caitlin glanced at him, wide-eyed, and Cisco mumbled, "Okay," under his breath.

"Does madame or monsieur have any allergies or dietary considerations our chef should know about?"

"No," Caitlin said. "No restrictions, thank you for asking. But - excuse me."

"Yes? Is there anything you require, madame?"

"You've all been wonderful so far. But I have a question. The woman who gave us this card is . . . is a . . . "

"Friend," Cisco supplied. It was close enough. "She's a friend of ours."

"Yes, but she can be a little rough around the edges," Caitlin added, winning the Understatement Limbo forever. "And if this amazing hospitality is because you're scared of her, then thank you very much, but I wouldn't feel right - "

For the first time, the server broke character. "Oh, no," she said. "No, she saved us. I was working last week and it was the busiest night we've had all month. If we'd lost that deposit, the restaurant might have had to close. Madame, this is sincere gratitude."

"Oh," Caitlin said.

"I mean, she did freeze Brett's feet to the floor, because he was getting in the way, so he might be a little scared of her. But the rest of us are so incredibly grateful. It really is our privilege to return the favor, even in a small way."

"Who's Brett?" Caitlin asked.

"Monsieur Snootface?" Cisco guessed.

Thanh coughed violently in a way that meant yes and I'm trying not to shriek with laughter right now and OMG everyone is going to hear about this in the kitchen. Cisco grinned.

She got ahold of herself and reverted back to the poker-faced server. "Champagne will be along shortly." She nodded at the mysterious doorbell art piece. "Please ring that bell if you need me for anything at all." She disappeared, leaving them alone.

Cisco looked across the table. "You're still not sure about accepting all this."

"I mean," Caitlin said. "It's so much."

He ate another piece of bread. "She saved their bacon. Did you hear her about what it would have meant to lose that money?"

"That seems like an exaggeration. One night's profits were that important? Surely they do most of their business on credit cards now."

"Not as much as you'd think. And if I had to guess, the robbers wanted all the servers' tips, too."

Her eyes went big as Thanh's gratitude fell into place. "Oh. Yes. Of course, that would have been awful for them. But it really would have been that much of a blow to the business? To lose the cash deposit?"

"Restaurants are like that. You remember my cousin Hector?"

"The one who owned that amazing seafood restaurant?"

"Yeah, the one that went out of business last year." RIP La Laguna and the best grilled swordfish he'd ever put in his belly. "That was his third one and he's planning a fourth, because that's totally normal in the restaurant biz. They all operate right on the edge. This place is fancy and new and probably way deep in the red. Frost saved their bacon big time."

She scrunched her face a little.

"If it makes you feel better, Barry hasn't paid for a pizza since 2015," he said.

She looked around their exclusive balcony, with flowers growing on the railing and from windowboxes. "This is considerably more than a pizza, and free stuff is not why we do it."

"No, of course it's not, but you heard her. This is their way of saying thank you, and if you don't accept it, how are you going to make them feel?"

"I didn't think of it like that."

"I know. Come on. It's your birthday dinner and Killer Frost did a good. Are you planning to overuse that little leverage card?"

"No! I'm going to put it away forever after tonight."

He'd expected that. "So? Enjoy yourself. Have some bread." He buttered a slice and held it over over the table. "This stuff is the shit, Caitlin. Seriously."

She took it and bit in. "Mmmm! Oh. Oh my god." She took another bite.

"I know," he said.

She chewed and swallowed her second bite. "So you think this is all okay?"

"I think this is all pretty awesome and you deserve every second," he said.

"Really?"

"Well," he admitted, "I'm a little annoyed. I mean, this dinner was supposed to be my birthday gift to you."

She smiled at him. "What I wanted for my birthday was a nice evening with you, and you're giving me that."

His heart skipped a beat. He reminded himself that she meant dinner with her best friend, the way they'd been for years, and just because he'd recently started to see her in a different light, he shouldn't read too much into it when she said things like that.

The champagne arrived with tiny hors d'oeuvres that looked almost too fancy to eat, but Cisco was glad he had, because a-maaaaaaaa-zing. He thought about taking mental notes for Hector, but figured his cousin was already planning to come here some night, if he hadn't already.

As the sun slid below the horizon, the garden below fell into shadow. Candles started appearing on tables, little points of light that illuminated other couples or groups having their own incredible dinner. A few tuning-up noises alerted Cisco to the presence of live music, and after a little searching, he found a cellist tucked away under some willows.

"Check it out," he said, indicating the musician, who was just starting what sounded like a Pachelbel piece.

"Oh, that's really nice," she said. "And look, you can eat in the garden."

"Yeah," he said. Some of the couples below them were holding hands across the table, or snuggling up. "This would be a pretty sweet place to bring your date."

"It would," she said.

He looked across the table. Caitlin was looking out at the garden, her eyes soft. In the light of the fading sunset, she looked as if she'd been brushed with gold dust, hair and skin and soft sweet mouth.

He wondered if she was wishing someone else were across the table. Ronnie, maybe, in some multiverse miracle. Or one of the guys she'd dated off and on over the past few years. Cisco called them the Gingerbread Men in his head because they all seemed like cookie-cutter copies, slickly handsome lawyers and doctors and businessmen who knew about things like wine and golf.

(He could know about wine if he wanted. How hard was it to know about wine?)

But maybe she really liked one of them and wished he'd brought her here.

She caught his eye and turned to face him fully, smiling. "I'm glad you're here with me tonight."

His shoulders unknotted and his heart melted. "Birthday girl's pick," he said.

"You're more than capable of making me pick again," she retorted. "Remember Garden Sushi?"

"That was for both our protection!" he protested. "I heard Hector's stories about that place."

She laughed, reaching out across the table to take his hand. "Anyway, this is beautiful. The food and the garden and the music - "

On impulse, he said, "Wanna make it more beautiful?"

She looked a question at him.

He got to his feet, still holding her hand. "Shall we?"

He only half-expected her to do it, and certainly not without a little convincing, but she got to her feet at once and stepped into his arms to dance.

The balcony was really tiny, and they could only manage the middle-school style step-shuffle, but that was perfect as far Cisco was concerned - an excuse to hold her close, to smell her perfume, to feel the slide of her hair against his cheek as they swayed together.

If this had been a date, it would have been the most romantic date in the history of ever.

Soft clapping brought him out of his dreamy daze, and his cheeks went hot as he wondered if they were getting applauded. Shit, Caitlin would hate that. But he when he looked down into the garden, everyone's heads were turned toward the cellist, who had finished her piece. She rose to her feet and bowed briefly before sitting back down and arranging her skirts and her instrument for another piece.

Caitlin had stopped moving when he had. She nudged his shoulder. "Look," she said.

Dusk had overtaken their balcony as they danced, and a lit tea light in a cut-glass holder had appeared on their table as if by magic. The dirty plates had disappeared.

But the spell of the music was broken. Cisco smiled uncertainly at her. "Guess we'd better quit messing around and eat the rest of our meal."

"Guess so," she said.

They sat back down, and Thanh reappeared with tiny bowls of clear, savory soup and another bottle of wine.

It was as delicious as the hors d'oeuvres, but Cisco toyed awkwardly with it, wondering if he'd let himself get carried away, if she was weirded out. Or if maybe she was asking herself the same thing.

He reached for his wine glass and used the motion to glance at her.

She was fiddling with her earring, but when she caught his eye, she dropped her hand and smiled brightly. "So," she said. "What are we doing for your birthday next month?"

"To top this?" he said. "I'm thinking yacht."

"Ooooo," she said. "Well, Vibe had better get cracking, hadn't he?"

He peered over the balcony. "What do you think? Do one of these people own a yacht?"

"I think it's almost certain."

They relaxed into a giggly speculation on the various rich people in the garden, trying to top each others' wild suggestions about what tribulations they could save one of them from.

By the time Thanh brought out the main course, some delicate meat wrapped in pastry, with blanched, still-crunchy asparagus on the side, they'd rambled into more general topics. As they ate the entree and then the light salad that came after, they kept talking about this and that, science and nerdery and everything under the sun.

They didn't get the chance to do this much, Cisco reflected while their salad plates were whisked away. It seemed like they were always too wrapped up in superhero business to just hang out and be together lately.

Even if he'd chickened out on calling it a date, he was glad they'd done this tonight.

Dessert was a kind of warm custard pie, with cherries buried in the filling. It was clafoutis, she told them, paired with a muscat wine from someplace with a hell of a lot of vowels in its name. Cisco was almost too full of good food to dive in, but watching Caitlin take her first bite and close her eyes in bliss convinced him.

Plus, he'd never turned down a sweet in his life.

The muscat wasn't a very strong wine, but as they finished up the dessert and kept talking, Cisco still felt sweetly drunk on Caitlin's voice and her laugh and the golden sheen of candlelight.

A breeze fluttered the loose hair that curled against her cheek, and he suddenly realized how cool it was, and that the cello music had ended long ago. The garden below them was almost deserted except for busboys clearing off the tables. "Whoa," he said. "What time is it?"

Caitlin checked her phone and squeaked. "This place closed an hour ago!" She jumped out of her chair and started gathering up her purse and her wrap. "They must be waiting on us so they can clean up."

Cisco dug for his wallet and pulled out all the cash money he'd brought. Caitlin saw him lay it on the table and opened her mouth.

"Hey," he said, holding up a hand. "I was going to treat you. Let me leave the tip. Besides, she gave us a lot of her time tonight and I've worked for tips before. She deserves every cent here."

"Will she accept it?"

"If we sneak out fast enough, she'll have to." He took her arm again and escorted her back into the building and down the stairs.

They met Thanh at the base of the stairs. "Are you leaving us so soon?" she asked, with no hint of sarcasm whatsoever.

"I think we both know it's not soon at all," Caitlin said. "Thank you so much. You were so kind, and the food was delicious, and your restaurant is beautiful."

"We'll definitely be telling all our friends," Cisco said. "Thank you."

"Again, the privilege was all mine. Please come back anytime. Have a lovely night," she said, and went over to open the front door for them.

He went down the steps first and held out his hand to steady Caitlin as she stepped carefully down them in her ice pick heels. At the base of the steps, he expected her to drop his hand, but she held on.

Thanh stood smiling at them from the doorway, and didn't shut the door until they were at the end of the walk.

"You know," Caitlin said as they strolled hand-in-hand down the sidewalk, late-night traffic whisking by them, "she thought we were there on a date."

His heart skipped a beat. "Well, that makes sense," he said. "Look at you, all dolled up."

"And you," she said.

"We both look pretty fancy, don't we?"

"And there was the dancing, and how we talked for hours - "

His cheeks felt hot. Why was she saying this? Did she wish it had been a date, or saying how it could have been mistaken for one by an outside observer? Someone who didn't know they were just friends, just Caitlin and Cisco, and had been for years . . .

He managed a laugh. "Well, if this was a date, I would have kissed you by now."

"Okay," she said.

He stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. She walked another step before his hand, still linked to hers, tugged her to a halt. She turned.

"What?" he said.

A slow blush crept up her neck. "I said okay. You said you would have kissed me and I said okay."

"I - I know, I heard you." He stared at her, all off-balance. "What - why?"

The blush crept higher. She dropped his hand and turned her head away, brushing a loose strand of hair back into place.

The silence stretched out between them, horrible, awkward.

"Never mind," she said finally. "Let's - "

Oh. Oh shit. This was it, his big chance, and he was just standing here like a moron, goggling at her, asking why, when -

He stepped forward and caught her hand, pulling it down so he could press his lips to hers.

She caught her breath, he could feel it against his mouth, and then she was kissing him back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Of everything he'd tasted tonight, her lips were the most delicious. She went to his head like the wine, swirling around in a dance of jubilation and finally and this is even better than I imagined.

Because it was. So much better.

It could have been minutes or hours or maybe days when they pulled apart again. Too short as far as he was concerned. Her eyes were starry in the streetlights and she was smiling at him. From the way his face ached, he suspected he was grinning like a fool right back at her.

"So," she said, twisting her fingers in one of his curls. "This officially qualifies as a date now?"

"Sure does," he said, and kissed her again. "You wanna go on another one?"

"Mmmm. When?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Okay," she breathed, and then they were kissing again.

They celebrated his birthday a few weeks later. It definitely topped the date at the restaurant.

They didn't leave his apartment for the entire weekend.

FINIS

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.12: Prophet and Loss”

THEN: Donatello. \o/ Nick. /o\ Michael. The box.

NOW: The bottom of the ocean. Dean in the box. Banging on it with bloody fingers. Water dripping. Creaks. Panic. Calling out for Sam. Phone dying. Darkness!

Title card!

Oh, it was just a dream. Were you fooled?

I mean this frantic battery death is a dead giveaway.

.

Speaking of dreams, a door opens and we see Sam clad in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and socks. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if I get nothing else from this episode - and there's a good chance I won't (you know why) - at least I got THIS.

(Tumblr mobile is being an asshole and won’t let me insert any of my own screencaps, and the gif search isn’t giving me many for this ep. But I need to break all this text up with some images. So pretend this is Sam in a t-shirt and sweats trying to comfort Dean after his nightmare.)

Close enough, right?

.

He apologizes for waking Dean, who (strangely enough) admits he was having a nightmare. And whose real-life fingers are also bloody, from scratching the wall in his sleep. Sam asks if he wants to talk about it and Dean tells him to go to sleep. Sam switches to I know you're scared, and I know we're always maybe gonna die but this is even worse because Michael's gonna keep you buried alive forever and I kinda love the way Sam isn't bothering to sugarcoat the situation at ALL. He's convinced they have to find another way. Dean's convinced there isn't one.

(Sidebar: The guys are in a pretty nice (for them) hotel room. I wonder if this was deliberate. I wonder if Dean said I want a decent hotel room for once, just like he wanted to finally celebrate Christmas, or if Sam picked it.)

Elsewhere, a guy dumps salt into a tank of water and drowns a woman in it, carving her arm up while he's at it. When he's done, he gazes skyward and listens to the voices inside his head.

Cut to Nick in the hospital. Do you care? I don't either. Let's cut to the chase and say he ends up escaping. On to better things.

The Impala pulls up at a rest area. She's pulling a trailer? Oh no, I don't think that's a good idea. Dean asks Sam if he's still with him on the plan, and again, Sam isn't sugarcoating ANYTHING, telling Dean that he gave him his word but he hates the plan and Mom hates the plan and Dean needs to tell Cas and Jack about the plan. Dean's stalling on that because he's afraid they'd "shake" him, and Sam says that being shook "wouldn't be the worst thing" and SAM, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, I LOVE THAT YOU ARE SO NOT DOWN WITH THIS PLAN AND NOT HIDING THAT AT ALL.

I love that Sam's attitude is yeah, I told you I'd help, so I'm helping, but it's really a stupid, stupid plan and you shouldn't do it. Dean tells him to "put the end of this trip out of your head," so I guess they are actually on their way to the coast right now, towing Dean's coffin. I wonder how they convinced Mary not to come along? (Ha ha not really, I think Mary would have said bye, love you and gone back to shooting pumpkins.)

(Sidebar: Every time I say I wonder why a certain character isn't around, several of you kindly point out that the show can't afford to have these guest stars appear in every episode, and I love you for trying, but I know the Doylist reasons; I'm looking for the Watsonian ones. And usually there are none.)

Suitable for any occasion.

.

Dean gets out and heads for the bathroom, and Sam (whose hair is adorably fluffy today) immediately goes for his phone and calls Cas and we learn that he already told Cas about the awful, awful plan (BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DID). Cas has been looking for a way to eject and destroy Michael but hasn't found anything. He reports that Rowena went through the Book of the Damned to try to find a solution, "and I told her to do it again and see if she missed something, and the woman has a remarkable command of profanity." (BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE DOES. AND IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT. I WANT TO WITNESS THAT.) Cas suggests that he could speak to Dean, as if he has more influence than Sam (NO) and Sam says it won't matter, he's never seen Dean this set on something.

Cut to Drowny Guy picking out his next victim, muttering about striking down the first born in the land of Egypt, and carving up his next victim. More voices. "I am the Lord," he says. Huh.

The Impala drives through the night. Dean is either feeling or remembering feeling Michael banging on that walk-in door in his head, so he decides it's conversation time. He starts out by apologizing for not always being the greatest brother, and I want Sam to say no, you were a great brother, you were just a crappy mother, but that's not your fault because you were four years older than me and shouldn't have been forced into a parental role. Instead Sam tells him he was always there for him. Dean continues in this vein, apologizing for taking John's side and admitting that sometimes he was gone because John actually sent him away. Sam says he left all of that behind, and then shuts Dean down by saying he needs to keep his mind off the end of this trip, just like Dean said. "So if we could not have conversations that sound like deathbed apologies, I would really appreciate it."

Shhhh. Just pretend.

.

DAMN. I know some of you are thinking Sam should be more supportive and let Dean talk, especially since he's the one who's always trying to get Dean to talk about his feelings in the first place. But I love the way he's not making this easy on Dean. And I also love that he's insisting on what HE needs, but I suspect that he's focused just as much on not letting Dean play out the Deathbed Apology Tour in his head.

Not only is he doing that, but he's actually looking for a case. And he found one. Dean's all, a case? On my Deathbed Apology Tour? And it does seem like a really odd thing for Sam to do. Unless, of course, you accept that he's stalling his little heart out. Dean decides it would be nice to work one last case together, which is a sentiment Sam does NOT appreciate. Anyway, it's our two victims, who both had "graffiti" carved into them. Enochian graffiti.

(Sidebar: Remember that time someone carved Enochian graffiti on the Impala and neither Sam nor Dean recognized it? Ha ha ha ha continuity.)

The next scene is in broad daylight and the guys are in suits. Or at least Dean is in a suit. We can't see Sam because the person whose door they're knocking on won't open it all the way. So, Dean took his suit on his Deathbed Apology Tour? And when Sam decided to run after him, he grabbed his suit as well? (Eh, it gives me Winchesters in suits and overcoats, so I'm willing to handwave it.)

The guy who finally opens the door is the twin brother of the second victim. There's a heavy-handed little scene here where the surviving brother (the younger brother, it turns out, because he's four minutes younger than his dead twin, and if that reminds you that Sam is four years younger than Dean you're not alone) talks about how close they were and how "losing him was like losing a part of myself" and Sam looks sad and Dean looks guilty. It turns out the dead brother had a super-religious friend named Tony, and a convenient picture reveals Tony had an Enochian tattoo which translates to "the word." Duh duh duuuuh! So, who else knows Enochian? Time to call Cas!

Ah, here we go. A real one.

.

Cas immediately reveals that Sam told him about the Deathbed Apology Tour because, like Sam, he has zero chill about Dean's plan. He also reveals that Tony is the next prophet in line, after Donatello. Sam doesn't make any excuses or apologize for spilling the beans, and if you haven't figured it out yet, I LOVE THAT. The guys wonder if the apparent emergence of a new prophet means Donatello is dead (spoiler alert: we see him on life support so probably not) and Dean calls his doctor, pretending to be his nephew. Using his real name. I have a feeling Sam would have done a better job, because Dean just asks "How is Donatello? He's still alive, right?" which I find funnier than I probably should. So, if he's still alive, how was Tony activated? Let's go ask him.

Apparently the guys took a long time changing out of their suits, because it's dark when they break into Tony's house. They find his bedroom covered in writing, much like Gabriel's redecorating in the bunker except some of it is English. And some of it is about the killing of first-born sons, and I think that's going to mean something for Dean, but spoiler alert: it doesn't. They also find pictures of his two victims, and a clue as to where the killings happened and what the next one will be.

The next one is actually happening right now, with a guy getting doused with gasoline. Luckily the Winchesters break in and save him right before Tony sets him on fire. Sam gets maybe a little too rough with Tony, and Dean calls him off. Tony claims he's doing God's work according to His orders and Sam's all, yeah, no, whatever you heard wasn't God. Tony immediately believes them, apparently. If I thought God was talking to me, I'd think these guys were heretics or the devil or something. But Tony believes them and gets Dean's gun and kills himself. So, I guess that one took care of itself!

But it's not over, because the next prophet could come online and do the same thing, since Donatello being between "between life and death" might be causing prophets who are "wired wrong." Sam asks how they can stop the next prophet from going loco, and, well, there's one way to get rid of someone who's between life and death, isn't there?

(Meanwhile, Nick breaks into his old house and doesn't recognize his dead wife's ghost, but I can't blame him because she's changed A LOT since she died. He hopes she's Lucifer, and somehow he sacrifices her ability to move on because he'd rather have Lucifer and that's all the time I'm spending on that.)

At the Happy Daze (ugh, really?) Nursing Home, Donatello's doctor tells his loving nephews that they're making the right choice to let him go. And luckily, Dr. Novak is here to help! Hee! The doctor tells them Uncle Donatello is occasionally babbling, just as a reflex, and I don't think actual words are a reflex but okay. Cas and Dean have a sidebar about how much Cas regrets what happened to Donatello, but he had no choice, and Dean's all, I know exactly how you feel, and Cas is all, no you don't, because MY plan was the only choice, but YOUR plan is stupid.

Sam interrupts this with a video the doctor took of Donatello's "reflexive babbling." It's actually him speaking Enochian, saying he'll strike down the first-born of Egypt. Apparently Tony got wrapped up in Donatello trying to rewrite the Bible or whatever (Buckleming!) but somehow this means Cas can fix him, because "if there's a spark of hope, then I have to try; you taught me that." Boom. Take that, Mr. Deathbed Apology Tour. (Although I think Sam would have had something to do with that lesson, but whatever.) They rudely kick the doctor out of Donatello's room, and while Cas does his work, Sam and Dean have a quiet talk.

"If Cas isn't right about Donatello," Sam says, "then where does that leave him? Trapped. Trapped in his own body, somewhere between life and death. It's just tough to think about somebody going through that." Oh my God, Sam, you are the least subtle person on earth and I can't get enough of it. Dean doesn't rise to the bait, but just tells Sam the plan is still on. Then they go check on Cas and watch him work. His eyes go glowy and Donatello wakes up, confused but alive.

The real doctor comes in and says wow, that's weird that you came here to take him off life support and he miraculously came out of his coma. No, he doesn't, but I would. Then Donatello eats Jello and Dean leaves Cas to tell him what he's missed.

Dean goes out to where Sam is leaning on the Impala, drinking beer. And Sam is SO angry. (Sidebar: What was Dean remembering when he said Sam was always a "happy drunk," because it's nothing we've seen.)

Don’t open that shaken-up beer, Dean.

.

Let's just enjoy this conversation, shall we?

Where's the party?

It's right here. I mean, we're celebrating, right?

Okay...

Yeah, but not too much! Tomorrow morning we're back on track. No rest for the self-destructive.

Well, I will call this a win. Kinda nice. I'm going out on a high.

"Going out" being the operative phrase.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry. {laughs} How sorry are you? Sorry that you planned to keep Donatello alive, but when it comes to you, you just throw in the towel? Are you sorry that after all these years, our entire lives, after I looked up to you, I learned from you, I copied you, I followed you to Hell and back? Are you sorry that all of that means nothing now?

Who's saying that?

You. When you tell me I have to kill you. When you're telling me I have to throw away everything we stand for. Throw away faith. Throw away family. We're the guys who saved the world. We don't just check out of it.

Sam, I have tried everything. Everything! I got one card left to play, and I have to play it.

You have one card today. But we'll find another tomorrow. But if you quit on us today, there will be no tomorrow! You tell me you don't know what else to do. I don't either, Dean. Not yet. But what you're doing now, it's wrong! It's quitting! I mean, look what just happened. Donatello never quit fighting, so we could help him because he never gave up. I believe in us, Dean. {Sam rears back and HITS DEAN!} I believe in us! {Sam HITS HIM AGAIN AND THEN PULLS HIM INTO AN ANGRY, TEARFUL HUG!} Why don't you believe in us too?

I'M DEAD. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.

YES, this is the real thing.

.

Dean can’t handle it either. He's only human. "Okay, Sam," he says. "Let's go home." Sam says "what?" in disbelief. HE IS STILL CLUTCHING HIS BROTHER IN HIS ARMS, BY THE WAY. Sam finally pulls away and Dean says "Let's go home. Maybe Billie's wrong. Maybe. But I do believe in us. I believe in all of us." (Because yeah, this is when Cas shows up.) "And I'll keep believing until I can't. Until there's absolutely no other way. But when that day comes, if that day comes, Sam, you have to take it for what it is. The end. And you have to promise me that you'll do then what you can't do now, and that's let me go. And put me in that box."

Sam says "all right," just like he did at the end of the previous episode but DAMN this one is different. Dean PATS SAM'S FACE and says "Don't hit me again, okay?" EXCUSE ME CAN SOMEONE SCOOP UP THAT PUDDLE OF GOO ON THE FLOOR, BECAUSE IT'S ME. And I don't know how Cas got to the Happy Daze Nursing Home, but whatever he drove, he's leaving it here. He gets in the car with the Winchesters and we fade to white.

WELL.

I don't know about you guys, but I had pretty low expectations for this episode. And some of it met those low expectations (lookin' at you, Nick) but some of it BLEW ME THE FUCK AWAY. And by "some" I mean SAM AND SAM AND DEAN AND SAM. Because Sam loves his brother SO MUCH and is SO ANGRY and HURT and BETRAYED and Dean is SO HELPLESS in the face of that anger and hurt and betrayal and he's thinking I thought it was safe to tell you I loved you, since I was about to die, but you are using that against me and it's hardly fair and then he's doing what he can't always do when his little brother wants something, which is GIVE IT TO HIM.

I'm trying to think of other times when Sam hit Dean out of anger. Not in a mutual fight, not when he was trying to stop him from doing something stupid then and there, not when he was under someone else's control, just Sam lashing out in hurt and anger and hitting his brother. The only one I can think of is the hotel room fight in When The Levee Breaks, but I'm sure y'all will remind me of others, as you do.

Dammit. This is one of those episodes where a few minutes of wonderful makes up for a whole lot of nonsense. What did you guys think? And as always, help me stay unspoiled, please!

[mittensmorgul]

How would you rank your favorite seasons of Supernatural, from favorite to least favorite? Mine is: 4,5,8,12,13,6,11,14,3,2,1,10,9. I’m guessing about season 14, since we’re only a few episodes in.

Oh my gosh, it’s been a really long time since I’ve thought about it. There’s so many seasons now it’s really hard to rank them... I mean the only one I can 100% say for sure is still my absolute least favorite... s10. :P I think my most favorite is probably s11... so I’ll start there.

I don’t know if I can really put them all into a strictly ranked order. I’ve been staring at this for a while now, and I think if I maybe explain what I liked about seasons (or didn’t, so much) I might be able to put them in at least some sort of order...

11 is my favorite. 13 came VERY close, but heck... I’m still riding the high of having predicted the entirety of s11 the day after 10.23 aired. I mean, I know I’ll never be able to pull that one off again, because that was ridiculous. But it basically did exactly what I expected it to do at every turn. Amara wasn’t evil, the universe didn’t end, they didn’t need to kill God, and Dean finally saved the universe with the power of love he’d rolled his eyes at way back in 5.18. It was brilliant.

13, taken as a whole, is like the good version of s8. Excellent. (sorry... not a huge fan of s8... but I’ll get to that)

4 is just... such a tightly woven narrative and essentially set in motion all the Huge Themes of the show that persist to this day.

1 sets up everything for Sam and Dean. I’m actually rewatching it now (waves hello from the TNT loop). It lays the foundation of all the building blocks not only for their characters and their history, but their entire universe the rest of the series operates in. Yeah, that was all expanded in s4 with those Huge Themes I mentioned (and the introduction of Cas, without whom the show would’ve ended long ago), but it’s all built on this. And 1.12 is still probably my favorite episode of the entire series. That’s the episode where I knew I had been completely sunk by this show.

5 gave us an expansion on themes... Cas cut off from Heaven, while Heaven insisted the world (and humanity) needed to end. It’s well told, but the ending is just meh... if the series had ended here, it would’ve been an interesting diversion for a few weeks of my life as I binged my way through it, but I never would’ve rewatched it or found the need to participate in fandom in any way.

6 might not be the most coherently structured narrative, and without 6.20 essentially giving us “the real story” of what had been happening for the previous 19 episodes, it really wouldn’t have stood out. Ben Edlund single-handedly saved s6. (plus it gave us our first excellent look at Cowboy Dean, and I can’t complain about that). Also, 6.11 is possibly my second-favorite episode of the entire series.

12 is the foundation of the current narrative arcs... it gave us a LOT of excellent character study while still retaining the importance of the old narrative structure leftover from Carver Era. It’s sort of a weird transitional season (especially if you handwave a lot of the bucklemming because eurgh), but it dredged up the baggage that Sam, Dean, and Cas have been learning to set aside now in s14, so I feel it’s important.

2 gave us Dean vs Grief and Guilt, and looking back from current canon, it hurts. But it was the roadmap they’ve been rewriting ever since toward a less awful ending...

7 yes it was an agony, and I know not a lot of people liked the leviathan plotline, but I thought it was extremely well done. It also produced some of my favorite MotW episodes (PLUCKY! 7.12, 7.06) AND IT BROUGHT CAS BACK. In a SPECTACULAR fashion that made it clear that he was vital to the show now.

3 Yes, it was shortened by the writer’s strike, and a lot of plotlines suffered for it, but Dean’s struggle with finally coming to terms with his impending death and damnation hurts in wonderful ways.

9 the season of ow, the dark descent, lies and damn lies, and doing the right thing for the wrong reasons (and eventually doing very wrong things for the right reasons). Ow.

8 hubris, man... I just... I can’t with it. It just... yikes. Up to this point, Sam and Dean (and Cas) had been at the mercy of the universe and forces more powerful than them. Especially after Cas came back from Purgatory, and was being mind-controlled by Naomi, everything they did was either built on that deception and manipulation, or else on Sam and Dean’s ill-conceived plan to “pull one of the great levers,” as Metatron described it. Talk about throwing ALL the wrenches into the natural order and just completely fucking up the universe. I mean, their intentions were good (no more demons to deal with! or at least that’s what they thought... until Metatron tricked Cas into pulling Heaven’s version of those great levers... it didn’t lock the angels *in* Heaven, it booted them all OUT. Wouldn’t it have been great if that had also happened to Hell? DEMONS EVERYWHERE! So... yeah... bonehead move of the century that nearly got Sam killed... not a fan)

10 I have a tag for this: mittens makes peace with s10 via dabb's spitewriting of s12: an ongoing saga (pretty sure he’s still spitewriting in s14...)

You may notice that I didn’t put s14 on the list. If it continues the way it’s going now, it’s a strong contender to bump s11 off the top spot. s13 was, as well, but my personal attachment to 11 makes me leave it up there for now.

As to most of the rest of the seasons in the middle, I could shuffle them all around quite a bit and still never be satisfied that it’s in some sort of definitively ranked order... It’s just so hard to pick. :)