#I had never heard of the podcast host until this video

[cinemaocd]

God, there's this whole section of the podcast that sort of implies that transgender people were invented on Tumblr, which I'm not even gonna get into...

Wake up babe...

[jyoongim]

Themes: posessiveness, slight yandere behavior, mentions of cannibalism, softcore smut,

After 7 years the Radio Demon is back!

But things arent how he left them…

Vox has taken it upon himself to be in charge of all things media

Radio has turned to Video

And Alastor’s little darling aint in her place…oh that just wont do

Your relationship with the Radio Demon was like a match made in Hell.

Alastor was a wild card by himself alone, but you? You never failed to keep him on his hooves?

You had been in the media world looong before Alastor popped up in Hell, having the title (ironic) Media Demon but somehow he managed to bring back the old themes that were once appreciated.

Not those podcasts or vlogs the youth were so prone to do

But things from the good old days.

Things that were considered ancient in the sense of modern tech.

Radio; Talk shows and actual live broadcasts.

Alastor and you quickly rose in popularity in the media realm [(you had a sneaky suspicion it was because he was terrifying and people honesty clung to an overlord’s word)]

You and Alastor had separate broadcasts, but you worked perfectly in sync with one another. Until one day…the Radio Demon disappeared, leaving you to run your show alone.

You did what you could, but the people seemed to miss the charismatic broadcaster as much as you and soon you were approached by Video.

“C’mon y/n, This will be a great improvement to your brand.” Vox smirked as you sipped the tea you were offered. You frowned. You were aware that media came in all formats but you enjoyed the ‘old’ way. “I dont know Vox, i prefer to be out of the camera’s eye” you said. Vox had been begging for years for you to join his team and claiming it would ‘boost’ your reputation. You didnt need a boost. You were THE Media Demon. If anything, you knew it would boost HIS popularity.

“Radio is so old-fashion, video is the future! You should be up to date with these things” he said. You grimaced “i am well aware of the trends, but not everyone likes this new savvy way, it is good to have a little variety”

Vox was getting annoyed.

Having you on the Vees would not only boost his claim to fame, but it would boost his power.

“The people would love to see the Media Demon in the public eye. You use to sing right? How about music production? You would kill sales with that voice of yours”

He was trying to butter you up.

Everyone knew you were a renown singer. A popstar once. You only showcased it a few times broadcasting when it was late at night and were in a mood.

Alastor loved to hear you sing.

“If you made videos people, your image can skyrocket” he continued.

You set your cup down, standing, having heard enough.

“I appreciate the offer Vox, but I will decline. I quite like stereo” and with that you left.

You made your way to the Hazbin Hotel.

To Alastor’s radio tower.

You sighed as you sat and stared at the station.

Maybe i should take Vox’s offer you thought as you collected your topics and put your headphones on.

You turned on the radio and did a count set

“How ya doin tonight folks? Its your favorite radio host and tonight you are in for a treat!” you gave the daily Hell gossip and opened the line for discussions. Letting out a laugh from a few of the responses you finally sighed “I have been offered the damning chance to retire from radio” you started. “I am sure you are all aware that I am fabulous of course, but i mean reverting to video can you imagine? And the audacity of Vox to even suggest just a thing. I think i do quite alright for a media connoisseur” you giggled.

As you chatted away you were unaware of the dark presence manifesting in the tower.

“Dial in im opening the lines to hear your opinions”

You listened in

“I think it could be good to switch it up!”

“Youre the Media Demon you could crush anything!”

“Y/n youre incredible!”

“Video kills the Radio star!”

You were about to chime in when a deep static like voice sounded

“I think you mean Radio killed the Video star”

Your eyes widened and spun around to see Alastor

“A-Alastor?”

His devilish smile sharpened as he pressed a button to cut the lines and removed your headphones “its been a while darling”

You couldnt help yourself as you launched at him for a hug.

You quickly recovered and let him go, stuttering “oh oh im sorry but w-what are you doing here? I-i thought you were gone”

Alastor grinned, bringing your hand up to his lips to press a kiss to it

“Ooooh mon cher i could never stay away from you”

You blushed.

Alastor pulled you into an embrace, his grip a little tight

“So what it is i hear of you forsaking radio?”

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

In advance of Taskmaster season 18 starting, I found Andy Zaltzman's old episodes on a couple of Alex Horne podcasts, and listened to those. This sent me down a route of finding various Zaltzman appearances on podcasts, and I was reminded that there's an entire Zaltzman-hosted thing that's easy to find that I've never heard. It's his "Summer of Sport", which was a podcast he did for The Guardian throughout summer 2016, discussing the various sporting things happening. Rio Olympics, obviously. Also other stuff. I think there was cricket on.

It's weird that I've not listened to that before, and that it's not even something I think of if I think of Andy Zaltzman's career, even though I know Andy Zaltzman's career very well. I know Andy's pre-Bugle career because that's Chocolate Milk Gang stuff; I have studied that era in, probably, far too much detail. And anything he's done since The Bugle started, I know about it because I've heard it plugged on the podcast.

But Summer of Sport fell through a crack, as the John Oliver era of The Bugle ended in March 2016, and the reboot started in October 2016. This one little six-month window of Andy Zaltzman's career where I don't know what was going on, and he hosted a whole 12-episode podcast without me noticing. I mean, I was vaguely aware that it existed for some reason, but didn't really know what it was until I came across it this weekend.

So I picked a couple of episodes that had guests I wanted to hear from, and downloaded them. I think I'll end up listening to the whole thing, but I've started with that. And I'm not hugely proud to say I started with a Russell Howard episode because it had Russell Howard. It also had Steve Williams, a guy I know three things about: he's a Welsh stand-up, he appeared in that Comedians' Football video on YouTube (on the non-Avalon team... which might be why I know so little about him), and he wrote on Russell Howard's TV shows.

I will still be annoyingly quick to click on any podcast that has Chocolate Milk Gang person + Russell Howard, because they'll bring out the CMG-type humour that Russell Howard does sometimes, which I still quite enjoy.

It is odd that Russell Howard is still quite near the list of comedians whose voice I've spent the most hours listening to. 125 hours of the BBC 6 Music show with Jon Richardson, plus all his Mock the Week, plus every episode of Good News and nearly every one of The Russell Howard Hour (minus the last few, when I gave up on it after he started throwing in the alt-right stuff) - that adds up. It's all stuff I watched earlier in my time getting into Britcom though, a few years ago. Basically, Taskmaster was the first thing I watched, and Russell Howard was one of my very favourites on Taskmaster (I didn't even know when I first watched season 6 that he was one of the most famous ones, I just knew I found him the funniest and most interesting), so one of the first things I did after that was look up what else he'd done, and it turns out there's a lot. I watched all his stand-up DVDs before I got into most other people's stand-up, when I was mainly watching panel shows - so I quite liked those stand-up DVDs, but I'm pretty sure I was easily impressed by generic charm and would be less impressed if I re-watched them now.

He was also the first British comedian I saw in person, in early 2022 when my then-girlfriend got us tickets because she knew I liked British comedy and saw Russell Howard coming to town and she didn't know that I was mad at Russell Howard for bringing Jordan Peterson on his TV show, and I didn't tell her that because it was a nice gift so we went, and to be completely honest, we had a fantastic time. Did he have the best material in the world? I don't know, probably not? But he had some pretty good material and a lot of fun stage presence and the night felt exciting and electric I hadn't been to in-person comedy besides my local clubs before, and he was a lot of steps up from that (actually that's not quite true, I saw Trevor Noah in an arena in 2019, which was not great). He'd done a bit of local research and talked shit about the truckers who'd recently taken over our city and that got massive cheers from the crowd and then there was one moment when he muttered that even though they'd gone about it badly you had to admit they had a couple of good points, and I thought "Fucking hell Russell do not do this now, for the sake of the 125 hours I spent listening to you talk on the radio in 2007 when you were cool, please just be that guy tonight and don't fucking ruin this", and then he didn't, no more right-wing stuff, just impressions of family members that I probably enjoyed too much.

Russell Howard is actually back in my city this month, he's done one night here a couple of weeks from now. I have to admit I briefly considered getting tickets. I am curious as to what sort of material he's doing these days. Curious as to whether his comedy would hold up, in my eyes, now that I've seen a lot more stand-up (almost definitely not, but I'm curious). Curious as to whether he's turned around the right-ward political drift, or doubled down on it. Though ideally I'd like to find that out in a way where I don't give him money, in case it turns out to be the latter. And I have to admit... okay, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have bought a ticket anyway, but the thing that made me decide to definitely not buy a ticket is I remembered that I read somewhere he had a kid earlier this year. So the show will presumably be about that, and I don't want to hear that. Yesterday I watched John Kearns' The Varnishing Days and thought that was absolutely brilliant, earlier this year Anne Edmonds released her special Why Is My Bag All Wet and I found that hilarious, and a few months ago I heard Josie Long do an hour-long WIP that I loved. All three of those stand-up shows were about the comedians' kid(s), and it is so unlikely that I'm going to find four parenthood-based stand-up shows in one year that I like, given my general aversion to the topic. I realize it's not great that the threat of parenthood material put me off a show even more than the threat of right-wing material, but I just can't listen to another person tell me how tiring it is to raise a baby.

Anyway. I was trying to think, today, of why I keep being interested in hearing Russell Howard talk even though I know he's not that great, and it occurred to me today that of all the British comedians, Russell Howard's the one who's most like most people I know in real life. I've written lots before about which comedians' personas or material most remind me of myself, and of course I like those, everyone likes some relatable comedy. I almost never find Russell Howard relatable (except sometimes on Taskmaster, when the ruthlessly competitive side came out, which was what made me like him so much in the first place), but he does strongly remind me of so many people I know, just overall, in a broad variety of ways.

I've pointed out some of those individual ways before. I knew that part of why I got so drawn into that BBC 6 Music radio show is it reminded me of a couple of my own friendships that strained and/or disintegrated in the same ways as whatever the hell the Jon Richardson/Russell Howard relationship went through on live radio for a couple of years, with me being and OCD obsessive like Jon Richardson (not using the term in the annoyingly quirky colloquial way there, I've got a diagnosis and also have several disintegrated friendships to prove it is not just a fun quirk) and Russell Howard reminding me of some of my more carefree and easily distracted and sunny-dispositioned friends. Russell Howard's vague right-ward political drift is a pattern that I'm sure I'm one of many people who's seen it play out lots in real life from the last ten years, when you know someone who's otherwise cool and then suddenly they're telling you that actually, if you'd just stop and actually read Jordan Peterson's books and consider what he's saying, you'd realize he has some pretty interesting insights that could benefit us all. And you wonder if they've changed suddenly, or if they were always like that and you never really knew them. For comedians who are all desperately seeking ground that hasn't been covered 10,000 times for their material (yes, we all know that raising a baby is hard, we've heard it before), I think the "friend goes right-wing an you wonder if whether they've changed or whether you never really knew them" phenomenon happens far more often than it's been talked about; there's an area of life that's been disproportionately under-covered. Though it maybe it doesn't happen all that often to comedians, what with the liberal bubble and all. That mythical liberal bubble that sounds like such a lovely place to live. It must have happened to some comedians, though. The ones who hang out with Russell Howard, for a start.

Anyway, I found Russell Howard's ComCom episode absolutely fascinating, it's one of my favourite episodes of that podcast. He talks in ways I've rarely heard comedians talk, but that people I know talk all the time. He talked about destructive obsession with self-improvement, in a way that sounded more like an athlete than an artist. The type of athlete mentality that's the reason why so many people I know end up slipping down the Jordan Peterson rabbit hole. And approached several topics with the sort of shoulder chip and hard-headed attitude that I'd expect to see on my own Facebook feed full of athletes, far more than I'd expect it on a podcast about an Art. I've spent many years as a nerd among jocks, and I find it interesting to listen to Russell Howard describe himself as sort of the opposite of that.

Anyway, absolutely none of that was the point of this post. I mean, I guess it's the point now, but I really did not sit down to write that stuff today. I sat down to write this because I wanted to say, I was picking out a few little episodes of Andy Zaltzman's summer of sport to listen to, and I was drawn to the Russell Howard one in spite of myself, because Russell Howard + Andy Zaltzman = Chocolate Milk Gang, and I was not disappointed on that front, as while they were discussing the diving event at the Rio Olympics, Russell Howard said something that is damn close to be exactly what I've written on my blog before:

I have described the Zaltzman/Oliver dynamic in those terms so many times, there's just no way to capture it without comparing it to a sport. Two people who were doing something so far outside the box that their stuff wouldn't fit with anyone except each other, and yet with each other, they're like teammates who are perfectly calibrated to know exactly where the other will go every time and therefore push each other to higher levels.

...That was the point of this post. I just wanted to share that audio clip and say "Look, some Chocolate Milk Gang discussion, and Russell Howard described Zaltzman/Oliver the same way I did." Not really sure what the point was of the several paragraphs ruminating on the nature/draw of Russell Howard up there. Just forget about those.

[skeleton-richard]

A Fact About Me That Sounds Fake

But is true. I went to Dashcon.

Dashcon, for those unfamiliar, was the one attempt at a convention organized by and for tumblr users, much like a regular geek convention like Comic Con, just smaller and essentially limited to people on tumblr. At the time, early 2014, it didn’t sound as crazy as it does now, I swear. July 11th, 12th, and 13th, 2014. I was 19 and had just graduated high school. I was a nerdy autistic homeschooler who had made most of my friends through online fan communities, on tumblr and deviantArt. One of these friends was planning on going to Dashcon, since she was in Illinois at the time, and I ended up deciding to go as well. The previous year I’d gone to ChicagoTARDIS and it was a blast, so this would basically be the same thing. I lucked out that not only would my parents let me go, I would get to stay at the hotel hosting the convention by myself, they were getting a room at another hotel. I had never been away from my parents for more than sleepovers and I’d never been entirely on my own. I was going to go to college that fall, but I would be living at home, so this was my one chance to experience that sort of thing. The convention… the convention has entered internet lore for how poorly it was managed and how some of the organizers were flat-out shit. I won’t waste time recounting it here – if you’re interested in the whole story, YouTuber Sarah Z has done a far better job than I could explaining what went down that week. The important parts to my story are 1) my friend and I would finally meet and we would on the last day cosplay as Cecil and Carlos from the science fiction podcast Welcome to Night Vale, and 2) the actual Night Vale podcast would be doing a live show on Sunday. It was great getting to meet my friend M, who I’d known for a while now through our mutual interest in Doctor Who. In fact, we’d made a trade of our skills, she knitted the Fourth Doctor’s scarf for me and I sewed a replica of a particular jacket from the Third Doctor. Oh yeah, I used to sew. Anyway. The insanity on the first day, Friday, happened. No, I didn’t give them any money (Please, if you don’t know what I mean, watch the video I linked above, its explanation is the best I’ve seen). The next day was way better, though. I got to meet my fellow Hoosier Doug Jones, the modern Man of a Thousand Faces, who played Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movies. Doug is 6’ 4" and one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. I told him about an essay I’d written for school about the Christian themes of the Hellboy comics, since I knew he’s a Christian like me, and he thought that was awesome.

Me meeting Doug Jones. I’m wearing my Eighth Doctor cosplay. My hair is not actually curly, it was a perm. My hair does not perm well. Then Sunday, the last day of the convention, Welcome to Night Vale was scheduled to do a live show, which cost extra. In the end, they walked because the con refused to pay them. I don’t blame them, honestly, but it was a little disappointing. Until someone had the idea to have a fan panel. They had several Cecil cosplayers and they asked if there was a Carlos, and my friend told me to go up and be on the panel, which she joined too. I have massive anxiety issues and I don’t like being the center of attention or even having multiple people looking at me. I’m always nervous when I have to go in front of people, but I gathered my courage and sat at a big table in front of a lot of people and talked. We answered audience questions in character, which was very fun, especially when an audience member asked me as Carlos how I escaped from the desert otherworld he was at the time trapped in. I had one of my rare moments of quick thinking and said “Have you ever heard of a man called the Doctor?” The assembled geeks, with many Whovians among them, cheered my response. It sounds conceited to say that, but they applauded and I knew I’d made someone– lots of someones– happy. That’s the best feeling in the world. Then we decided to do our own show,  and we chose “Old Oak Doors Part A,” which had been released the month prior. It’s a great episode, the beginning of the end for Strexcorp, and in its original form was a live show. Sharing iPhones and tablets to read a transcript online, we recreated it. My friend M played Intern Dana, I playing Carlos. There’s a part where Dana calls Carlos a hero, to which Carlos replies “I’m not a hero. I’m a scientist.” I read that line and the audience went insane. It was my finest moment. Dana’s next line was “Then scientist will always be my word for hero.” The audience exploded again and to this day I marvel at how a short exchange between two characters had such an impact on those listening. This panel and reading are, as much as I can recall, the first time I’d ever really had people applauding something I’d done on my own rather than as part of something else, like plays at church. And what made it even better is that it was something I would never have thought I would do. The convention was a disaster and many things could have gone better, and I still feel sorry we didn’t get to do some of the things we’d planned. But the good things that happened were worth it, to me. I listen to WTNV while doing chores and every year I start from the beginning again, and when I get to “Old Oak Doors,” I’m reminded of the spontaneous reading and my Big Line and how I’d faced a ton of fears that weekend and come out making others laugh. There is, as far as I know, no recording of that panel and reading online. I’ve searched YouTube and googled it but nothing has turned up. If anyone ever comes across it, I’d love to see it again. I’m also looking for pictures that were taken that I know were on my old blog at some point, in the hopes that I got them to my current blog before I deleted the old one. But even if I never find those pictures I have the memories. And a line that reminds me that I may not be a hero, but I still am what I work on being.

(I was originally going to post this on my Dreamwidth, but it was too big. Wow.)

[incandescent-eden]

              The river was partially frozen by the time I arrived, a late November evening when the cold was just starting to settle. Patches of ice floating atop the water gleamed silver as they drifted, and in the dark, the river resembled a thick, lethargic snake making its way across the country.

           When Melly was little, I told her a story my ye told me about the origin of the major rivers in China – how four dragons had brought rain to the starving people and their dying crops by stealing water from the emperor of the Ocean Kingdom. How they had been punished for doing what was right by being trapped under mountains, and how they had become the rivers that continued to flood the banks and save the people year after year.

           “But that’s not fair,” Melly had pouted, her beautiful brown eyes wide and indignant.

           Life isn’t fair.

           The leaves crunched beneath my feet rhythmically. Just follow the river until you reach the mouth, until you reach the ocean, until it ends.

           She ran a podcast.

           She never told me she ran a podcast, but I found the link anyway. It was the first time I had heard her voice in over a year, but it was undeniably hers.

           “Hello again, listeners! It’s your host, Orpheus, back at it again. On today’s episode of Styx and Stones, we’re exploring the river in the woods. It’s a foggy night, so it’s suuuper creepy. Honestly can’t be worse than the time with the chairs, though, right?”

           Orpheus. The one who looked back.

           My daughter used to look back to make sure I followed. She would run some feet ahead at the local eighty-eight, her tiny shoes pattering on the dirty linoleum, and toss her head back with fear.

           I can’t reconcile that image of my Melly, barely tall enough to reach the second row of stickers on the spinning rack, with this stranger who speaks with excitement about made up creatures who lurk in the dark.

           Onward and onward, I walked until I reached a place where the moon can be glimpsed through the bare branches of the trees.

           The moon splinters, white scales separated by black branches against a black sky. For a moment, the moon was a dragon that curled in on itself, but then I remembered the moon had a rabbit, that the moon was feminine and dragons were masculine. The moon was one of the only characters I taught my daughter.

           Look, see? Take the word for day, and take the word for moon, and when you put them together, you get the word for bright.

           The moon shone as bright as Melly’s eyes when she shoved the letter in my face, begging me to read it. Eyes that shone with pride. We are happy to welcome you to…

           Did Orpheus’s eyes shine the same way when she recorded this episode? Her voice was cheerful, although her words were broken up by quick gasps and the crunching of leaves.

           Melly’s voice and footsteps echoed around in my ears without a hint of static. I closed my eyes, letting the moon wash away.

           Just smile and nod and interject every so often so Melly knows you’re listening, pretend she’s telling you about her favorite video game, or a friend from college, or her plans for the summer when summer returned. Pretend you’re just taking a walk with the daughter you watched grow up and not alone in the middle of the woods listening to a stranger talk about malicious spirits.

           But the night was still dark when my eyes opened, drawn out of fantasy by Orpheus’s shift in tone.

           “Well, that’s all for this episode. Thank you again for listening to Styx and Stones. Tune in next time. This has been Orpheus to remind you: life is unfair and unpredictable, so don’t look back!”

           The recording clicked off. There was no next episode, not in the past year.

           Without Melly’s voice, the night was silent. The moon stared back at me, filled with the same cold sympathy of the neighbors I passed in the street every day. Its gleeful anticipation of my tears flooded me with rage, rushing like the river when it rained.

           Unlike the neighbors, the moon’s gaze remained fixed, shamelessly expectant. A neighbor might have expressed their condolences briefly, then cleared their throat to cut through the silence, but the silence in the forest stayed intact.

           The ice patches on the river floated forward and backward, up and down stream as if constantly pulled back.

           Melly’s episode ending was still fresh in my mind. Maybe she called herself Orpheus, but I was the one looking back now.

           The leaves rustled, and my blood ran cold as the river in front of me, and just as swiftly. A dark figure emerged from the gray fog.

           “Orpheus?” croaked the shadowy figure in a hopeful voice.

           “No.” The newcomer didn’t respond. “I… I’m looking for her.”

           The figure stepped forward, revealing a young woman with stringy hair. Either the dark of the night or tiredness formed deep bags under her eyes. She frowned.

           Her eyes searched me as intently as the glare of the moon.

           At last, she said, “You have her eyes.”

           “She has mine.”

           “Hm,” was all the woman said.

           At last, she turned back. “For what it’s worth,” she said in a steady voice, “Orpheus was my friend.”

           Was. Everyone always described Melly in the past tense, as if the only thing they could do was look back on her life and shake their heads. It wasn’t fair.

[regrettablewritings]

Podcasts, Youtubes, and TV Shows to Distract Yourself With Because Why Not, and Also Because I Wanna Blab About Some of These

Since I can’t go to work and horrify my coworkers/make them realize I’m a mess and/or nerd by telling them about the type of media I’m into, I’m foisting my recommendations on all of y’all who choose to read this. I frankly do not care how many people have actually heard of these things because I’m also sure there’s plenty of people who, like me, are very slow and oblivious to entertainment, or who have heard of the property but were never that convinced.

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts

Type: TV series

200 years after a mysterious yet earth-shattering event, much of humanity has taken to living beneath the surface in communities called burrows, wherein life goes on, if effected somewhat by the bizarre fauna that exists above them (referred to as “mutes”, short for “mutant”). One burrow girl, Kipo, founds her world turned almost literally inside-out when she finds herself not only separated from her father and the only world she’s ever known, but on the surface, no less. What ensues is her trying to find her way back home with the help of a stony-faced little girl with a massive chip on her shoulder; a music enthusiast and his literal gadfly friend; and some . . . unusual allies that only an oblivious optimist like Kipo could make. All to a kickass soundtrack, a beautiful backdrop of art, and a world where animals have basically evolved into gangs under a looming threat known as Scarlemagne. If you can’t already tell, I love this series to bits and now is the perfect time for people to get into it and encourage another season of it. Just . . . don’t think too hard that whatever happened to cause the Event in the show happened in October 2020 . . .

Available on: Netflix

My Dad Wrote a Porno

Type: Podcast

This should go without saying, but this podcast is definitely meant for more mature audiences. Or somebody with a strong stomach. Not that it’ll always be easy to tell with the type of content this series gives. When Jamie Morton’s father handed him his manuscripts for his self-published books, he had no idea he was being given a pinnacle of a polished turd: It was erotica. Really, really, really bad erotica. But the ear’s trash is the heart’s pleasure with this bad girl, as Jamie enlists the company of friends Alice and James to provide commentary on “Rocky Flintstone”’s series Belinda Blinked, a drama chronicling the sexcapades of Belinda Blumenthal as she climbs the ladders (and men and women) both in and out of the cut-throat world of pots and pans sales. What follows is a goldmine of awkward metaphors, strange bedmates, and just an overall stampede of whiplashing events that somehow exceed expectations. Listen in if you dare . . . And make sure you’re in good company for it. Fun Fact, though: Daisy Ridley, Ben Barnes, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Michael Sheen, Mara Wilson, Elijah Wood are but a few well-known fans of this series! Nobody is safe . . .

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

Lore

Type: Podcast

Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction. And what better way to be reminded of that, then to have the dulcet tones of Aaron Mahnke tell you about the lighthouse incident that the 2016 movie The Lighthouse was loosely inspired by? Suffice to say, this podcast could also be interpreted with some advised discretion, but definitely in a way that’s different from My Dad Wrote a Porno. In the centuries humankind has existed, we’ve managed to create a menagerie of beasts, both fictional and in ourselves. Lore explores all the many different kinds of events and persons and creatures we have to offer. In any given episode, we could be talking about anything from the bizarre story of a lady who convinced 18th century physicians that she was giving birth to rabbits, to something more disturbing like the life of H.H. Holmes. Or something as relatively innocuous as the relationship between gremlins and flight. Regardless of the subject, however, you’ll definitely walk away knowing something new, if bizarre. And perhaps slightly terrifying.

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

The Amelia Project

Type: Podcast

Congratulations: You have been made aware of The Amelia Project. If you’re not interested in this, exit the page. Now. If you continue, there’s no unhearing it. Good choice! A new interest awaits. If you don’t enjoy it, please consider the whole thing a hoax. Okay but in all seriousness, there’s no way to do The Amelia Project justice in just a simple description. The plot sounds quite simple, really: People want to disappear and start a new life, The Amelia Project is there to help – with a price. And that’s if you can actually get a hold of them! What really makes the show, however, are the people and the writing, and I’m not just talking about the almost childlike Interviewer with an obsession for hot cocoa. I’m talking about the clientele: I’m talking about the macabre-obsessed theme park owner who’s out for revenge; the cult leader who’s in way over his head; a Santa impersonator stuck in a miserable marriage with his own manager; an actual podcast character trying to outrun his creators. And obviously this would all be nowhere without the spectacular writing! I really can explain this series without blabbing on and potentially spoiling things; The Amelia Project is an experience!

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

LegalEagle

Type: Youtube channel

To be frank, I just like learning for the sake of learning, even if I may not always necessarily understand the topic or have any plans to use it in the foreseeable future. The big difference here being that at least this channel makes learning about the law fun and breaks it down. Headed by a certified lawyer (because what an age we live in, where professionals actually take time out of their lives to teach us common folk), there’s a multitude of series D.J. Stone uses to help break down the complex world of law, from reviewing the realism of procedural favorites (Law & Order, The Good Wife, HTGAWM, etc), to analyzing real-life situations, to even watching childhood media that has nothing to do with the law and determining how much money, say, Willy Wonka would owe in a lawsuit. In short, it is one of my worst subjects done in one of my favorite ways to learn! Plus, Stone hates business students and is perfectly willing to poke fun at law students so it’s all fun, frankly.

Available on: Youtube

Nando v Movies

Type: Youtube channel

Sometimes, movies are bad. Sometimes, they’re good. And sometimes, they could use a few adjustments in hindsight. Especially the nerdier movies where the directors may or may not have tried way too hard or way too little. And that’s where Nando comes in: Whether it’s explaining why a different villain might have worked better for a hero’s origin story movie, or analyzing how one seemingly small adjustment could’ve potentially made more sense in explaining characterization, this channel is always providing a new perspective on a movie or show you’ve probably seen and maybe weren’t necessarily too pleased with. (Or maybe you were – I enjoyed Justice League okay but I love the version he rewrote more.) Oh, yeah: Sometimes he does rewrites of movies or even series. So if you’re anything like me and you’re way into that, this is a channel you don’t want to miss out on.

Available on: Youtube

DEATH BATTLE!

Type: Youtube channel

Does anyone remember Deadliest Warrior? No? . . . How about that one time during lunch where you and your friend got into it over who would win in a death match between Superman and Goku? Good news: A buncha geeks did the math for you and have come out with the results! Specifically, hosts Wiz and Boomstick have analyzed the weapons, armor, and skills of each combatant in every episode, resulting in an ongoing series of absolute nonsense and satiation of bloodshed. The description is admittedly nothing crazy, but the amount of detail applied is honestly where it’s at: From calculating how loud Black Canary’s screams are to approximating Scrooge McDuck’s speed (I’m not kidding you), there’s actual thought put into the characters being assembled and how they might fair with their respective combatant. And it all comes together for an actual fight, often animated but always amazing. So if you’ve ever wondered if Thor could beat Wonder Woman, or if McGruff the Crime Dog stands a chance against Smokey the Bear (I’m…I’m being honest), then this is the show for you!

Available on: Youtube

Sideways

Type: Youtube channel

If there is music in that movie or show, it will be analyzed to a degree that, unless you’ve been trained in music, you would’ve probably never thought about. There isn’t necessarily much rhyme or reason to Sideways’ videos in terms of themes beyond music, but really, must they? Is it not enough that this man is screaming to the internet these wack and awesome trends he’s noticed in certain pieces associated with movies and musicals and the genius behind them? Could life not just be him explaining the symbolism of the instruments associated with the Crystal Gems of Steven Universe, or breaking down the cultures explored by way of the Black Panther soundtrack? Also, here’s a fun drinking game: Take a shot every time he mentions leitmotifs or the Dies Irae.

Available on: Youtube

Craig of the Creek

Type: TV show

In the woods of suburban Maryland, there exists a kid’s utopia: A place where horse girls are free to roam the fields, where a boy can be a king of garbage, and where children travel the sewers completely unsupervised. That is, until the dinner horn rings; then they have to go home until the next time they can return to The Creek. The show focuses on one specific trio (Craig, JP, and Kelsey) as every day, The Creek (and their own childish naivete) brings them new hijinks to experience. There’s a blissful lightheartedness to the show, in addition to a lot of creativity that feels like it was ripped straight out of your own imagination as a child (robots made from cardboard boxes, building portals using lights, etc). But beneath it all, there’s something just plain wild brewing. I don’t want to spoil anything, but CotC has some G-rated GOT shit going on the further along the series goes and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!

Available on: CN app, wcostream.com

And that’s probably enough for now, I think. Lemme know if you want any other suggestions, or how you’re findin’ ‘em if you take any of them up! Stay safe, stay healthy my dudes!

[bunchofbooks]

It’s Time for Kyrsten’s Opinion: Flowers in the Attic Review Edition

Flowers in the Attic is the first book in the Dollanganger series but VC Andrews. It follows the Dollanganger family; the four children, Chris, Cathy, Carrie, Cory and their mother, Corrine. They were a perfect family, until their father is suddenly killed in a car accident on the way home from work one evening. The four children must stay hidden in the attic of their estranged grandparent’s estate for the sake of inheritance. Their mother assures them this is only temporary - one night at most; but the days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. And the months turned into years with no glimmer of escape. 

While this book was a really enjoyable read it was also a really heavy read. Under the cut I have posted a spoiler free review of the book, with my thoughts and opinions including content warnings.

Before I even start getting into the review I wanted to jump right into the content warning. A quick sidebar, I first heard about VC Andrews through the podcast, My Favorite Murder. The women who host it were talking about reading this book in middle school and high school, I thought that it can’t be too bad if they read it when they were that young. The woman who was ringing me up at the store when I bought it also said she read it when she was in middle school and said it was intense, but that she was a baby so it probably wasn’t that bad. I just want to know WHERE WERE THEIR PARENTS?!?! This book needs a lot of content warnings and I’m hoping that I cover all of them here even if I don’t get into all of them in the review. Content warning for: death of a parent, abuse / neglect, self - mutilation, incest (holy incest Batman), suicidal thoughts, victim blaming, and death of a child. 

The estranged grandmother is a vile woman who is abusive and neglectful of her grandchildren. She dangles the threat over the children and Corrine that all she has to do is tell one of their maids that Corrine has 4 children from her marriage and they can kiss that inheritance goodbye. The neglect seems obvious, these kids are locked in an attic 24/7, in the dead of summer and on the coldest nights during the winter, but she also at points is angry with the children and refuses to bring them food because they broke one of her many rules. One part in particular that sticks out to me is when she tells Cathy she can either cut all of her hair off or they can go one week without food. When Cathy does not agree and the kids are able to ration what little food they have left for the entire week, she drugs Cathy and dumps tar in her hair so she must shave it off; and even after she cuts off her hair, the grandmother still does not bring the children food.The children become so hungry that Chris cuts his arm and forces his younger sisters and brother to drink his blood (insert my screaming here). The grandmother whips her adult daughter and then makes her show the marks left to her young children so they see what she is capable of. The grandmother attacks Chris and Cathy, whipping them both and then beating Cathy until she is unconscious with a hair brush. 

 However, the grandmother is not the only culprit here. Corrine, while she starts out as being loyal to her children, starts coming up to the attic less and less once she starts getting some money from her father, leaving them to fend for themselves. At one point she leaves for days, not telling her children where she is going or when she will be back. When she does come back she does not understand why her children are not excited she had been on a trip nor do they want to hear about it or see what she has brought back for them. Corrine gaslights her children, saying that they chose to come with her. They chose to make these sacrifices of staying in an attic all this time. They chose this life for themselves. As if they had a choice in the matter at all. Corrine then leaves them in the attic. . . again. 

The children are told by Corrine that they must only stay in the attic for one night, until she can get back into the good graces of her estranged father so they can get the inheritance. The children ask what she did to make her family disowned her out the way they did and for a little bit, all Corrine will tell her kids is that she did something that her family did not approve of. Instantly I’m thinking, oh she stole money, she ran off and got married, she got pregnant before she was married. It takes place in the 1950’s so while that isn’t the end of the world today, I can see how an affluent family would want to keep that out of the public to save face. NOPE I WAS VERY WRONG! I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! The mother was disowned by her family because she was in a relationship with her father’s step brother - or her half uncle - but don’t worry no one else thinks it’s wrong (except for the grandmother and grandfather who are painted to be the villains in all of this)  because he was so much younger than Corrine’s father and they were only half siblings. Have no fear though, because this is not the only instance of incest that we get to read about in Flowers in the Attic! Cathy - who narrates the story - and her older brother, Chris, begin a relationship. Which somehow goes from creepy to creepier. Cathy catches Chris spying on her when she is naked. Even more concerning was during the same scene, Cathy tells Chris to go away and he ignores her to keep staring at his sister. When Chris and Cathy are kissing in bed, Cathy tells Chris to stop and he says that what they are doing is not wrong, because they are only kissing and not having sex. . . However Chris your thinking is flawed because they do have sex, which will be brought up at my next therapy appointment and every therapy appointment from now until my dying day. While it is not a long scene, it is certainly graphic and more brother / sister sex scenes than I ever wanted to read. After they have sex, Chris is saying how he feels awful for what they did and Cathy says that she is to blame because she wears short clothes that don’t fit. If this were a youtube video this is the point I would insert the clip of someone screaming bitch what the fuck. 

Flowers in the Attic,  while definitely one of the most intense books I have ever read was enjoyable. There were aspects of it that I thought were amazing. VC Andrews was able to make it feel like I was in Foxworth Hall with the Dollanganger children in the attic and could make me feel claustrophobic even if I was reading outside or on a train. You really felt like time was ticking by and you were also waiting for the grandmother to catch you doing something wrong (not quite having sex with your brother, maybe something a little less. . . weird, like looking at your hair in the mirror, which is in fact a rule that the grandmother has because we don’t promote vanity. No sir, not at Foxworth Hall). VC Andrews would drop it on you like a bomb that all of this time had passed, the seasons bled into one another flawlessly. She would have one of the children say something, for instance, “sometimes eight months can feel like eight years”, and it hits you like a ton of bricks that it has been eight months since they first entered that attic, while also dropping that they should have been there only for one night. 

Another thing that I loved was how much VC Andrews made me hate Corrine. Corrine Dollanganger is truly one of the most awful fictional parents I have read, but she isn’t instantly an awful person. At the beginning she is a wonderful mother who I genuinely believe would have done anything for her children. However, slowly VC Andrews would peel back these layers and show how having this money corrupted Corrine. Some of her finer moments include asking her 14 and 12 year old to provide a quality kindergarten education to her five year old twins so when they went back to school they wouldn’t be too far behind. Ma’am your children are literally  living in an attic they’re going to have much bigger issues other than being behind in school. When the youngest son, Cory accidentally locks himself in a trunk, she is nowhere to be seen nor does she want to hear it, but she acts like mother of the year because she brings toys to the kids. However, the most infuriating thing about Corrine is how she causes so many fights among the children. Cathy tries to point out how messed up their situation is, but Chris does not want to hear about it and jumps to defend the mother who couldn't care less about him. Cathy at the age of twelve was left taking care of herself, including going through puberty, and her five year old brother and sister and Corrine would get all of the praise from the children when she came in to do the bare minimum! I would get so angry with this fictional woman! 

The last fifty pages were absolutely wild. There were so many surprises twists that I did not see coming! Sometimes when books have all of these twists at the end I’m like, yeah okay let’s speed this along, but with Flowers in the Attic I could not get enough. I was caught off guard but it didn’t feel like it was phony in any way. I was sitting in the living room reading and I gasped and was freaking out about the ending. 

My biggest complaint about the book would be the dialogue, specifically Chris. It was completely unrealistic for anyone to speak like that, even more so a seventeen year old boy. The children would talk in these elaborate metaphors and seem so worldly when Cathy says before that they lived a pretty sheltered life prior to the attic. Chris would say things to the twins like we shouldn’t quibble, as if they would know what that means?! Just say fight Christopher! At another part he is in a fight with his mother who had left them in an attic and says, “when you look and register do you see how healthy they have grown”. This is a direct quote that comes out of a child’s mouth. I understand that he was smart and read all of these books about medicine, but his dialogue specifically is what stuck out to me as unrealistic. Had VC Andrews ever met a 17 year old boy? Overall he just seemed like an unrealistic character. He kind of felt like he was there to be this convenient character that could fix almost every problem they came across. Cory and Carrie wanted a playground? Oh wow Chris comes in and saves the day because he knows exactly how to build one. . . in an attic. . . where they are living. Cathy is sick? Oh well Chris just read this book about childhood illnesses, they just have to make sure he gets plenty of fluids. Cory wants to keep this mouse that he found with its leg caught in a trap? That’s awesome because Chris can conveniently make a mouse sized splint for a little mouse leg. 

Overall, I really did enjoy my time reading this book. I have some theories about the rest of the series and am interested to see how the rest plays out. 

Would I recommend this book? Yes, but I would be sure to let someone know the content warnings. I would not recommend this book to someone in middle school or early high school. It was a lot. 

Will I keep reading the series? Definitely! 

[illfoandillfie]

Future Management

Pairing: Roger x Reader

Summery: Roger rewires your mind

Warnings: Smut!, Bimbofication/intelligence play, Hypnosis/trance state, drinking, tickling, oral (m and f receiving), protected sex (yes you read that correctly there’s actually a condom in this one wtf), mentions of spanking/restraints/blindfolds/degradation/public sex but not explicitly, a bit of dom!rog sub!reader, thigh riding.

Words: 6969 (N I C E !!)

Inspired by: Future Management by Roger Taylor (oh my god that video im hhhhHHHhh this song really makes me feel some kinda way)

A/N: So Bimbofication has a bunch of different connotations for different people. For some the emphasis is on the physical shape of a stereotypical bimbo – think big boobs and blonde hair and a valley girl accent - which can lead into body modification stuff. For some it goes hand in hand with hypnosis and mind control. For some it’s about intelligence play - turning a smart person dumb. There are a bunch of different ways to play with this kink and different things to get out of it, especially when you start mixing the different aspects together or connecting it to a dom/sub dynamic. I’ve gone with an interpretation that aligns with what I personally find hot about bimbofication, mostly focusing on the turning a smart girl into a dumb slut/sex object aspect (though I’ve also included a little hint of the physical appearance) using some light hypnosis stuff as gateway to the “bimbo state”. I am by no means an expert in hypnosis (or anything), I just have a passing interest and think it’s kinda hot. A lot of the hypnosis part of the script was inspired by THIS podcast episode which discusses bimbofication/intelligence play and ends with one of the hosts hypnotising the other to make her dumber (it’s a really interesting discussion and FUCK that hypno scene at the end oof its hot). 

Also big thanks to @somekindof-cheese @idontbelievethiss and @dtftomholland for being my betas and giving me some great feedback!!

Taglist: @ezmina98  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon​ @kellypenac​ @labessieisallama​ (i hope none of you mind being tagged in this, couldn’t remember if you’d asked to be tagged in all my fics or just the RRL ones lmao, let me know if you wanna be removed from the list!)

To the world at large you are a well-respected, intelligent, and accomplished woman. You graduated university top of your class and head of multiple extracurricular groups. After uni you’d found a job that you loved, working in a law firm, gaining attention as you rose through the ranks and became a prominent attorney. Two years ago you’d thrown it all in to start your own non-profit organisation that aimed to reduce the growing rate of homelessness. It was challenging work but rewarding and you loved it. You’d appeared as a guest on news panels and talk radio programs to discuss the issue and campaign for support which had made you, if not a household name, certainly a recognisable figure in the community. Which is how Roger knew you when you first met. Of course, you’d known him too – how could you not?  

You’d run into him at bar, most of your friends having ditched you for the dancefloor or whoever they were hoping to take home. That wasn’t really your scene though so you’d intended to finish your drink and then head home. Before you could leave, he was in front of you, introducing himself and apologising for the interruption. “I wanted to congratulate you on your work, what you’re doing is incredible,” he said earnestly, “the world needs more women like you. More people like you.”   “Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say,”   “I’ll leave you to your drink now, have a good evening,”   “Wait,” you said, surprising yourself, “this seat’s free if you want to join me,”  

That introduction sparked a conversation which lasted hours. For the rest of the night you were wrapped up in each other entirely, the flow of conversation never stopping as you covered every topic under the sun – politics and music and food and literature and everything in between – without any awkward pauses or uncomfortable silences. You found yourself hanging on his every word, blown away by his quick wit and intelligence, and that cheekiness that permeated his very being. He kept both your glasses topped up as you talked, well beyond the point where all your friends had left, until eventually he invited you back to his place. You hesitated, the first hitch in your conversation all night.   “You okay?” Roger asked after you were silent for a little too long.   “Yeah. I just, don’t...know...”   “Don’t know if you want to come home with me?”   “Yeah.” You nervously chewed on your bottom lip. “That’s okay, you don’t have to. Just figured, we’re having such an amazing night, why should it end now?” he said with a slight shrug, “It does kinda surprise me that you’re unsure about it though.”   “What d’you mean by that?” “Nothing bad I promise.” he chuckled, “Just that you’re so sure about everything else. Don’t really seem like the type to not know your own mind.”   You exhaled a single breathy ‘ha’, “About everything else you are correct. Not so much with this sort of thing.”   “Well, at least let me drop you home.”   “That would be nice, thank you.”   “You’re welcome.” He stood to call a car since neither of you were in any state to drive, “The offer still stands by the way, if you do decide you want to. You’ve got nothing to lose.”   You laughed as he threw you a wink but his words stuck with you, looping through your head as you waited for him to return.  

Roger led you out into the street to wait for the car, placing his jacket over your shoulders when he noticed you shiver slightly. He leaned against the brick wall of the bar as you chatted in soft voices until the car arrived. Once you were both tucked away in the back seat, safely hidden from prying eyes and cameras, Roger leaned towards you. His hand came up to cup your jaw, thumb sliding softly over your cheek. Your eyes darted to his lips and then back up to his eyes.  “At the risk of ruining an otherwise great night, I’d really like to kiss you.” You nodded, the closeness of your bodies already releasing a colony of butterflies in your stomach, their fluttering only getting faster as he moved closer still. His lips were softer than you’d been expecting, his hands rougher as the one remained on your face and the other rested gently against your arm, though you should probably have realised so many years of drumming would leave their mark. You rested your hands against his shoulders, gradually slipping one up into his hair as he deepened the kiss.   Well, shit, if this is how he kisses...   You blinked your eyes open as he broke away from you. No one had ever kissed you like that before and there was only one thought running through your head. Roger’s voice. You’ve got nothing to lose.   “Take me home with you,” you said softly but decidedly, throwing caution to the wind. Roger grinned and indicated the change of plans to the driver before pulling you into another kiss.  

Neither of you even contemplated stopping the whole way to his house, only breaking apart briefly to fall out of the car and hastily climb the steps up to his front door. Even then, his hands remained on you – lightly tracing over the small patch of exposed skin on your back where your shirt had come untucked from your pants. Clutching Roger’s arm, you leaned in to kiss along his neck as he fumbled with his keys. You felt very unlike yourself but it wasn’t an unwelcome difference. You’d never felt such a connection with anyone before. Never found anyone quite as irresistible as you found him. You were glad you’d agreed to this, vaguely recalling the rumours you’d heard about how capable Roger was with women and deciding you could use a little capable. When he finally figured out the keys he ushered you inside and lunged for your lips again, pressing you against the wall as he found them.   You’ve got nothing to lose.   It was the only thought you had time for as his hands slid down to cup your arse, pulling you tightly against him, and he began kissing down your neck, making your breath quicken. He pushed his jacket from your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor in the middle of the hallway as he found his way back to your mouth, and began walking you through the dark house towards his bedroom. You hit the edge of the bed faster than you’d been prepared for, falling backwards with a giggle and a soft thud. Roger laughed as you scooted backwards towards the centre of the bed, and followed you, slightly more gracefully than you managed. Moonlight streamed through the partially open curtains, bathing you both in a soft light that made him look somehow more gorgeous, and you couldn’t quite believe this was happening. Hovering over you he began unbuttoning your blouse, his lips wandering over your sternum and down towards your chest. You moved to unfasten the buttons and zip on your pants, trying to speed up the process.   “Someone’s in a hurry,”   “Want you so bad Roger. Been a while since I did this and god I need it.”   “How long’s a while?” he paused midway through pushing your shirt down your arms.   “Umm... Months, not sure how many.”   “Christ. If you wanna slow down...”   “Don’t slow down.” You leaned up to kiss him again, to show him how eager you were, “Just don’t try anything too crazy, I’m a little out of practice.” You pulled your shirt off and throw it to the floor. “Noted,” Roger said as he began tugging your pants off and dropped them to the floor as well, “I’m gonna make sure the wait was worth it though.” He lowered his head towards your thigh and you couldn’t stop the giggle that bubbled up in your throat.   “Oh, you’re ticklish!” his face lit up in cheeky delight as he brought his hands up to your sides, making you squeal and writhe as you tried to escape the sensation. Every twitch of his fingers pulled more laughter from you until you were panting and struggling to say his name, begging him to stop. “You’ve got such a cute laugh,” he said as he removed his hands from you, dropping a small kiss just below your bellybutton as you tried to catch your breath, “can’t wait to hear what you sound like moaning.” You could feel him smirking as he left another kiss, lower than the first, on your skin and you let out a breathy whine. He kissed lower still, leading down to your still clothed pussy and the small wet spot that had appeared over the course of the night, as you pushed yourself up on your forearms to watch. When a kiss landed over the top of your clit your hips bucked and when he wrapped his lips round the wet spot, sucking the soaked material into his mouth you whined again. He was clearly enjoying teasing you, the tent in his pants more obvious with every passing moment.  “You want some help with that?” you indicated his noticeable bulge but Roger told you to hush. “I’m not the one that’s gone without for months. Just lie back and let me take care of you.” With that he finally tugged your underwear down your legs, and you let your head fall back against the pillow.  

Roger didn’t hesitate, pushing your legs further open as he dived in to lick your pussy. He took his time, covering almost every inch of you with his mouth, listening to your whines and whimpers so he could find where you were most sensitive, but steadily avoiding your clit. When he sucked one of your lips into his mouth you moaned and he made sure to repeat the action, sending a jolt through you each time. You were already babbling about how good it felt, breathless words rolling off your tongue with no rhyme or reason, bleeding into each other and the moans that followed, when he began to tease your entrance, pushing his finger tip in and letting it slip back out as you tried to clench around it.   “Aren’t you just so needy,” he said as he sunk his finger into you, deeper this time, and let it slip out again, “haven’t even touched your clit and you’re already close to cumming for me,” he continued to finger you slowly, pushing deeper each time until it was buried knuckle deep in your core. Then he began again, adding a second finger, as he returned his mouth to your wet folds. You whined his name as the pit in your stomach began to ache with the need for release, and put your hand on the back of his head trying to press him closer. Roger scissored his fingers inside you for a moment before he brought them to a complete halt. You whimpered at the sudden change but didn’t have time to reprimand him as he finally brought his mouth to your clit, flicking his tongue back and forth over it. It felt fucking incredible but the pressure wasn’t consistent enough to push you over the edge.   “Oh fuck. Roger I’m so close,” “I know, can feel you clenching round my fingers.”   You bucked your hips again, trying to get the friction you needed and felt Roger laugh, his breath ghosting over your pussy.   “Want to hear you scream my name when you cum. Let everyone know who makes you feel this good.” He pressed his tongue against your clit before sucking it between his lips, at the same time he made a come-hither motion with his two fingers. Within seconds you were coming undone, moaning his name loudly, as per his request. He held you there, blissed out beyond belief, eyes closed as you rode out the orgasm, quivering slightly as his fingers twitched inside you.   “So was that worth waiting for?”    You blinked as you came back to reality and found Roger looking up at you, his head resting against your thigh as he drew random patterns over your stomach.   “You realise It’s been months since I last had sex not since I last had an orgasm, right? Like, I do know how to masturbate,” a pause, “But yes, well worth it,” you conceded with a smile.   Roger flashed you the cockiest grin you’d ever seen, “told you so.” He crawled back over you and you could taste yourself on his lips as he kissed you hungrily, “and by the way,” he said breaking the kiss, “you masturbating is something I would be very interested in watching. But right now, all I want is to be buried in your gorgeous cunt. The way you felt around my fingers, fuck, want you on my cock so bad.”   You hummed as you kissed him, “Think I can make that happen,” you said before rolling the both of you over so you were leaning over him.   “Condoms are in the top draw” he pointed at his bedside table as you hurried to undo his fly and pull his pants and underwear down his legs.   “I’ll get it, you get those clothes off.”   “Yes ma’am,” he said, already ripping his shirt over his head. You saw it fall to the floor as you dug around the draw, followed by the sound of him kicking his pants off his feet. His cock was already standing at attention when you got back to the bed, tearing open the condom wrapper with your teeth.   “Might have to take this a bit slow,” you said as you rolled the condom down his shaft. Roger nodded as you took hold of his cock to line him up with your entrance. His breath caught in his throat as you slowly sunk down on him, taking your time as you adjusted to the unfamiliar and complete fullness.    “Christ, fuck,” you swore under your breath as you took him a little deeper and paused again.   “Stole the words right outta my mouth,” he grunted, squeezing your hips, “fuck, you okay?”   “Told you I was out of practice,” your laugh turned into a moan as you lowered yourself the last inch or so, sheathing him fully inside you. Roger moved his hands to squeeze your breasts as your breaths turned to pants. You slowly began rocking your hips, the room filing with your gasps and whines as you picked up speed.    “Fuck, want to be buried in your cunt forever.” he gasped out as you began raising and lowering yourself on your knees, needing more more more.  “Roger, ohh god, rub my clit, please,”   He didn’t need to be told twice, letting one hand drop down where you needed it. His touch sent a shiver down your spine and your back arched as his name dripped from your lips again. This only encouraged Roger who sped up the furious circles he was making on your clit. You felt yourself hurtling towards another orgasm as your pussy clenched.   “Gonna cum soon,” Roger’s hips jerked up as he grunted his warning.  “Same,” you said as you leaned forward to suck a hickey onto his collarbone. It wasn’t much longer before he was calling out your name as he hit his climax, and pulling you into yours with his fingers still on your clit.  

You collapsed on your side next to him, still breathing heavily. Roger left the bed long enough to dispose of the used condom before he was back, pulling you against him and throwing the covers over the two of you.   “I’ll call a cab in a moment,” you said, voice thick with exhaustion.   “Don’t be daft.”   “Not gonna kick me out?”   “Course not. Jesus, what d’you take me for.”   “Good. I’m too comfy to move anyway.”   “Good. I like having you in my bed.”   You hummed as his arms tightened around you and you felt him drop a kiss to the back of your neck. You could feel your eyes drooping but fought off sleep for as long as you could, not wanting the moment to end. Letting your fingers trail softly over Roger’s hand which was flung over your stomach, you listened as his breathing slowed and became deeper. Smiling into the pillow you finally let yourself succumb to sleep.  

When you woke up you were alone and slightly confused by your unfamiliar surroundings.   Oh, fuck...  Things started coming back to you as you took in the clothing still littering the floor. You hurried to dress yourself in yesterday’s clothes and then made your way out of the room, wanting to find a phone to call a cab from. You found Roger first, following the sound of the kettle through the house to the kitchen. He was standing over the stove, back to the doorway and you allowed yourself a moment to look him over in the daylight before you caught his attention.   “Morning,”   He whipped around at the sound of your voice, “Morning. I was gonna bring breakfast up to you.” He held up the spatula he was clutching as proof of his intentions.   “Thanks, but I should probably get going.”   “Already?” You were surprised by the note of disappointment in his voice.   “That’s how this sort of thing normally works, isn’t it?”   “Told you last night I’m not gonna kick you out.”   You hesitated.   “It’s a free meal, love, might as well stay. Nothing to lose.”   There were those words again. They reverberated through your head and you found yourself sitting down. Roger smiled as he turned back around to the stove, shuffling fry pans and plates around as he served the breakfast.   “I hope bacon and eggs are okay,” he said as he placed your plate in front of you.   “Brilliant,” you suddenly realised just how hungry you were, not having eaten properly since lunch yesterday.   “Dig in, don’t wait for me. Tea?”   “Yes please. No milk, two sugars.”   “Can I ask you something? About last night?”   “Yeah,” you said, a forkful of food halfway to your mouth as your stomach began to twist with nerves.   “What made you change your mind?” He put the tea down in front of you, “You were going to go home and then you changed your mind. What was it that convinced you to stay?”   “You’ve got nothing to lose. You said that to me and I realised you were right.” You shrugged as you brought the fork to your mouth, “Plus, no one had ever kissed me like that before.”   “I was giving you my A game, had to impress you.”   “I was worth A game?”   “Course, couldn’t give such an incredible woman less than that”   “You flatterer,” you laughed, “It had been a while though, I probably would have been happy with C game.”   “Well I didn’t find that out till later did I.” He took a sip of his tea, staring at you over the top of his cup. “Out of curiosity, why had it been so long? Something to do with the lack of A game kissing?” he teased.   “I mean, it was a factor.” You could hear the indignation creeping into your voice and willed it away, “Not everyone has mountains of groupies after them.” So much for no indignation.   “No need to get defensive,” Roger held both his hands up, palms towards you, “wasn’t judging.”   “Sorry. It’s a bit of a sore spot is all.”   “No, you’re fine. I shouldn’t pry.”   “Truth is I haven’t dated much. And none of the guys I did date were any good. Recently it’s just been easier to put work first.”   “Does that mean I’m the best you’ve ever had,” his cocky grin from the previous night was back and you couldn’t help but laugh.   “Yes, but it was a very very low bar.”   “I’ll take what I can get.” He looked you over, seeming like he wanted to say something else but wasn’t sure how, “I had the best time with you last night and I was thinking y’know...maybe this doesn’t have to end here. Let me take you out tomorrow night on a proper date.” “Let me guess… I’ve got nothing to lose?” you laughed.   “That a yes?”   “Yes.”  

You left Roger’s place a little while later, heading home to sink into a hot bath and relax, and barely thought about anything besides him until he picked you up the next night. Your first official date went well – dinner, drinks, making out in the car before he dropped you home. You invited him inside but he wanted to prove he was interested in you for reasons besides that, instead leaving you with lips tingling from a long deep kiss as he departed, and the immediate need to masturbate. He took you out again the next night and again two days after that. Before you knew it, you were three months into your relationship, spending more and more time with him. You introduced him to your friends and family and met his in return. To the outside world you were still the same intelligent and accomplished woman, but now you also had an enviable relationship which seemed to get you more attention than your work did, though Roger was always the first to brag about it. He loved showing you off, telling anyone who’d listen about your work, pulling you into conversations so people could see you were just as bright and self-assured and brilliant as he’d told them you were. More than once you found yourself in a deep discussion with someone he’d been talking to, and caught him staring at you like he’d never seen anything more beautiful. It made your chest burst every time. The way he celebrated every aspect of you, cared enough to ask about your day and pressed for details about your job. Even when you disagreed about something, he’d hear you out, maybe with an eye roll, but he genuinely cared about your thoughts and opinions.  

Which made it easier to take yourself less seriously and loosen up a little. Your work was still incredibly important and something you cared deeply about, but now that you had Roger it was easier to admit you’d been spending too much time at the office. Using it as an excuse to avoid the terrifying unknowns of life and the impending future you hadn’t been able to imagine. Where before the question ‘where do you see yourself in five years’ would have caused anxiety that led to a week’s worth of overtime and insomnia, now you were able to confidently say, “I might not know but I hope it’s with Roger.” You smiled more around him, laughed more. He could turn you into a silly giggling fool with one look, and that was the most freeing feeling you’d ever experienced. You had nothing to prove to Roger. You didn’t have to make him see you how you wanted to be seen, like you’d had to do within your studies and work, because he already saw you as wonderful. And frankly you liked the person you were with him more than you’d liked the person you were alone.  

And then there was the sex. You’d never believed people when they talked about the incredible sex they were regularly having. Never understood why everyone made such a big deal about it. In your experience it wasn’t worth it. Roger had quickly changed your mind. On your third official date he agreed to go back to your place but you’d spent most of the night talking about sex rather than actually having any. The topic of your limited experience had come up again and Roger was trying to gauge what you'd already tried.   “Yes, I’ve sucked dick before,” you rolled your eyes as you stood to fill your empty wine glass, waving it round as you spoke, “not my favourite thing ever if I’m being honest but no one ever complained about my techniques.”   “Hand job?”   “Is that a request?” You raised your eyebrows and took a sip of your wine.   “Stop trying to get my pants off, love,” he laughed, “You’re the one who keeps saying you’ve never had good sex, ‘m just trying to find out what you have had, so I can decide how to blow your mind next.”   “If you really must know, all the guys I’ve been with were fairly bad at it. Only two of them made me cum regularly and even then it was a one and done situation. You did more to blow my mind on our not-quite-a-one-night-stand than anyone else has.”   “Keep talking like that and you’ll give me a big head.”   “As if you don’t already have one.” You dropped yourself into his lap, giggling at the small ‘oof’ of surprise he let out, and wrapped your arms around his neck.   “Alright, alright. So, what’s the kinkiest you’ve done then?”   “Does being eaten out count as kinky?” “God, are you serious?”   “No, I did convince one of them to spank me once which was fun. Hinted that I might want to try more, being tied up and stuff, but he wasn’t into it.”   “Christ, no wonder you gave up on dating,”   “I wouldn’t say gave up, just put it on the back burner.”   “Well it’s a good thing you met me then.” he said, looking up into your eyes, “I’d be very happy to tie you up, and stuff.”   A shiver ran down your spine at the suggestion, “Really? You’re into it?”   “Oh, love, we are going to have some fun. You’ve got -”   “Nothing to lose,” you finished before leaning down to kiss him.”

The longer you were together the more you found yourself thinking about sex. It was like meeting Roger had flipped a switch inside your brain, set off some sort of chemical reaction that made your blood run hot and your skin tingle with the need to be touched. Suddenly you cared about sex, wanted it, even dreamt about it. You had years of bad sex and dry spells to erase and Roger was only too happy to help. To his credit he never rushed you or pushed you to try things you weren’t comfortable with and he always made sure you were safe as he slowly opened your eyes to new things. It started out small, a light spanking one night, since you already had experience with it and liked it. He used it as an excuse to question you more about what else you’d be interested in trying, promising to reward you with another hit for every answer you gave him. At first you’d felt self-conscious, especially when asked to describe what you’d fantasised about. But soon enough he’d had you admitting to everything you’d ever wanted to try, desperately trying to earn another spank as you slowly dripped onto his knee. And then he’d praised you for answering so well and god you could have cum from that alone, the three fingers he'd pressed into you were just a bonus.  

Your answers gave him ideas for what to try next. Adding handcuffs or blindfolds when he fucked you, calling you degrading names while you tried out words like Sir or Master for him, testing how they felt on your tongue and deciding which you liked. Pulling you into public restrooms and other secluded spaces because you admitted that the danger of being caught was a turn on. He’d use your own ideas against you until you were begging, often times for more. He was particularly fond of bringing up the fantasy you’d had of being turned into a silly, giggly, dumb slut – empty headed and eager to please. It was something you’d developed a penchant for back at uni, a fantasy you turned to when the pressure to be smarter than everyone else got too much, though you’d never actually told anyone about it before. The idea of him knowing – of anyone knowing – your desire to be a brainless bimbo was terrifying and exciting and every time he mentioned it you got goosebumps and butterflies. He’d lean in close to your ear, running his hands through your hair, and tell you that a good slut had no use for her brain. That you should just let it go. What could you possibly have to think about besides being pretty and filling your holes however he wanted? It was so easy to sit and listen, let his words fill your head until there wasn’t room for anything else, just the need to please him. It was your favourite release when work was stressful and tough, and for the last week that’s all work had been. Between the land deal you were trying to organise taking longer than you’d planned and the constant juggling of calls to contractors for quotes and calls to estate agents to renegotiate terms, everything was getting to be too much. You just needed to forget about everything for a little while.  

So, when Roger got home that evening, he found you waiting, wearing the tightest, skimpiest clothes you owned – a skirt that only just covered your lace panty clad arse, and a low-cut singlet over a bra that pushed your tits together, plus the tallest heels you owned. It was the sort of outfit you only wore when you wanted to be his brainless toy. It helped you drop into your new role faster, helped your brain melt away.   “Everything okay?” He asked as he pulled you into a hug. “Yeah, just need a break. If you’re up for it?”   “Course, love. You know I love playing with my bimbo doll.”   You hugged him tighter, trying to convey how much you loved him with one gesture, already feeling slightly tingly. He led you to the couch, sitting you down to face him.

“Just need a break from all that noise in your pretty head, don’t you?” His voice sounded different to when he’d first come in, softer and calmer but more authoritative, “all that stress from work. Just need to listen to my voice and slowly sink deeper down, away from your brain, away from everything bad and stressful. And the more stressful things are, the more worries and noise in that silly brain, the faster you sink down down down until you can’t remember anything anymore. Down deeper, where there’s nothing to lose. Where there’s no need for big words. Where the only thing that matters is being a good doll for Sir. Pleasing Sir. Because pleasing Sir makes you happy and horny, doesn’t it?   “Yes,” you sighed softly, a wet spot already beginning to form as you stared into his eyes. “It’s so simple, so easy, isn’t it my pretty, silly, slut. So simple and easy to leave your mind behind.”   You breathed deep as Roger’s hands glided through your hair, gently smoothing it back, his fingernails running over your scalp and down down down to push it behind your ear.   “That’s right, just relax. You’ve got nothing to lose by listening and relaxing. Thinking about how fun it is to be simple and easy.”   Your eyes were shut, though you didn’t remember closing them. You felt Roger’s hand move further down your hair, splitting it into sections, running his fingers through it to smooth it out.   “You like being simple and easy, don’t you? Simple and easy and fun and dumb. My pretty, silly, bimbo.”   He was winding your hair round his fingers, moving slowly and gently, sending tingles down your spine as you took another deep breath. A whimper dropped from your lips and you could almost feel your mind emptying with every word he spoke, letting go of the day, the meetings, the harried phone calls, the forms you had to sign. All of it was so unimportant compared to his voice.   “And d’you wanna know the best part about you being like this?”   “Yes.” If you’d been able to think properly you would have said your voice had changed too. Higher pitched than normal. Brighter and bubblier.   “The best part about you being simple and easy and fun and dumb, is how hot it is. How wet you get. Isn’t that right?”   “Yes,” you giggled, “hot and wet.”   “Good girl,”   You giggled again, his praise making what was left of your brain feel mushy and happy. Roger chuckled at your giggly, giddy response, letting his fingers slip out the bottom of your hair and onto your arms. You shivered at his touch, face breaking into a smile.   “Feels good being touched when you’re like this. Simple and easy and fun and dumb. You want me to keep touching you?”   You whimpered, “yes,” breath coming out in pants as his hands slipped down your arms, setting your skin aflame.   “Yeah, you like that. Got nothing to lose by being touched. Just feels good.”   “Yeah, feels so good,” you giggled and you heard Roger chuckle in response.   “Open your eyes for me, wanna see your pretty eyes,”   Your eyes shot open and you beamed at Roger.   “You like when I compliment you, don’t you?”   “Yeah,” you giggled again, feeling bubblier and lighter now that you could see his reactions. His hands had slipped down to your own, tracing patterns softly over your skin, between your fingers, tapping over your nails.   “Like, when I tell you how cute you sound right now, all giggly. A silly, giggly slut.”   Your response was so predictable, Roger was smiling even before you started to giggle again.   “How do you feel, love?”   “Ummmm, fuzzy. Happy.”   His hands slipped further, landing on your thighs and slipping over your knees, making a wave of arousal roll through your body and a soft whine roll off your tongue.   “Yeah? Do you remember those four words I used to describe you earlier?”   You thought for a moment, furrowing your brow as you searched for the right words, “dumb?”   “Yes, that was one of them, do you remember the other three?”   “Umm,” you stared at Roger, mouth slightly open, “horny?”   Roger laughed again.   “Dumb and horny.... and... easy?”   “That’s right, but horny wasn’t one of the four words.”   “Oh,”   “But that’s okay, you feel horny, don’t you? D’you want me to tell you the four words?”   You nodded fast. “Simple and easy and fun and …?”   “Dumb!”   “Good girl.” He leaned in, brushing his nose against yours as you laughed again, “And now that my pretty bimbo doll has nothing left to lose, all dumb and mindless, what does she want to do?”   "Ummmm,”   “What is it?”   “I want to suck your cock, Sir,”   “Is that so? Thought you said you didn’t like sucking cock.”   “Noooooo, I love sucking your cock Sir.”   Roger looked so amused by your answer you couldn’t help but giggle, even though you didn’t quite understand why. All you knew was you wanted to please him, that pleasing him made you feel good.

As soon as you heard the jangle of Roger unbuckling his belt your mouth fell open and your tongue stuck out. He moved around so his leg was stretched out down the length of the couch, his other hanging over the edge, with you kneeling in between. Slowly, his eyes glued on you, he unzipped his fly and pushed his pants down his hips enough to let his cock spring free. You waited patiently for his word, watching as he grasped his shaft and lazily stroked along it. Your mouth was almost watering as your desire to lick and suck grew, drowning out everything else.   “God you’re cute. Practically drooling. Ready to show me what a desperate cockslut you are?”   You hummed, replacing Roger’s hand with your own, wrapping it around his base as you kitten licked at his tip. He sighed softly as you took him into your mouth, relaxing further into the couch, and you felt a small burst of pleasure pulse through you. It spurred you on and you sunk lower, taking more of him, before rising back up to swirl your tongue around his tip. He groaned and you were hit by another jolt between your legs. Every noise you pulled from him set you on fire, the pit in your stomach tightening, your cunt dripping, only encouraging you to suck harder and take him deeper. His fist tangled in your hair, holding you down as you gagged around him. Looking up with watering eyes you could see Roger had dropped his head back, his lips silently forming words he couldn’t get out, lost in the sensation of being in your throat. It was enough to make you moan and redouble your efforts, bobbing up and down faster, working him as deep as he could go.   “Fuck, Y/N” Roger choked out, “gonna make me cum soon,”   You released him with a pop, unable to stop the grin the crept onto your face.   “You like the idea of me cumming down your throat?”   “So much, Sir!”   “What about the idea of you cumming?”   “If that pleases Sir, yes”   “You’ve been such a good doll, think you deserve the reward. But only after you’ve swallowed all my cum okay?”   “Promise, Sir,” “That’s enough talking now, wanna hear you gagging instead,” he tapped your head and you leaned down, letting him slip all the way back down your throat. His grip returned to your hair, pulling you up and then pushing you down again, showing you the speed at which you should be moving. You fell into rhythm, breaking the pattern every now and then to hollow your cheeks around his tip or lick along the underside of his cock or gulp for air, before finding the rhythm again.   “So close, fuck, so so close,”   Your movement was suddenly halted as he pressed down on the back of your head, making you choke. You tried to move, needing another gasp of air but he held you down as he came, coating your throat with hot spurts of cum. You swallowed every drop he gave you, your body surging with the electric knowledge you’d pleased him so much, tingling from head to toe.  

“Did you enjoy yourself?” He sat up, brushing his fingertips over your cheek.   “So much, Sir! I love your cock,” you giggled, leaning forward to drop a quick peck to the head, “love drinking your cum.”   “And you’re so good at it. My pretty, cocksucking doll. Do you still wanna cum?”   “ummm, yes?” You didn’t really care if you got to cum, you just wanted to make your Sir happy.   “I’d like to watch you cum,”   “Then yes!” another giggle.   “Then why don’t you sit that cute cunt right here,” he patted his thigh, “and show me what a good slut you are.” You settled yourself over him, hitching your skirt up in the process, so you could grind against him, still wearing the skimpy panties you’d picked out. A moan escaped you as you rolled your hips and Roger placed his hands on them, to keep you pressed firmly against him as you rocked yourself closer to your release. You were already so worked up it didn’t take long for you to reach the edge, whimpering as Roger’s grip tightened. “That’s right, cum for me,” His permission was all you needed to let yourself fall over the edge with a gasp. You felt so light and happy, buzzing with pride and the knowledge that your Sir wanted to see you fall apart. You shuddered and fell forward as the orgasm washed over you, leaning your forehead against Roger’s chest. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing his lips to the top of your head as you shivered through the orgasm.   “So beautiful,” he was playing with your hair again and you hummed at how good it felt. “That’s right, just relax, listen and relax and come back. Nothing to lose by coming back. Back to who you were before. Who you are. So simple, so easy to come back. Relax into it. Relax back into yourself. Letting go of the bimbo. So easy to come back to your mind.”   You took a deep breath as you returned to yourself. More aware of everything around you. The salty taste of Roger’s cum on your tongue. The warm, wet feeling between your legs. The scent of Roger’s cologne as you breathed deeply. You sighed contentedly as the giddy, giggly lightness you’d felt slowly faded and the real world came back to you. Roger’s eyes found yours as he tilted your head up, searching them for anything amiss.   “Hey,” he said softly rubbing your arm soothingly, “how was that, you okay?” “That was exactly what I needed. Thank you.” You pecked him on the lips. “You’re very welcome. You wanna talk about work?”   “I’ll tell you about it later. Right now I’m,” you shifted slightly, still straddling his thigh, “still a little worked up actually. Race you to the bedroom?” Roger’s lips slammed against yours as he held you tightly, the kiss heated and hungry, “who need’s a bedroom when there’s a perfectly fine couch here. Time I repaid you for the fucking fantastic blow job.” You squealed as you found yourself on your back, Roger pulling your soaked underwear off hurriedly.  

To the world at large you were a well-respected, intelligent, and accomplished woman with an enviable relationship. And you were. All that and more. But you knew, and Roger knew, that deep down you were just a silly, giggly, dumb slut, who loved sex and craved cock and lived to please. Just a pretty bimbo who had no use for anything besides her Sir. And really, what more could you possibly want.  

[berkcwitz]

❛ ✶ (   madison beer, cisfemale, she/her   )   spotted   !   jalissa   berkowitz   was   spotted   singing   along   to   find   my   way   by   dababy   in   hilton   grove  .   you’ve   heard   of   them   right   ?   they   are   a   twenty   two   year   old   pornographic   actress   /   internet   personality   who   has   already   amassed   a   net   worth   of   550m  .   you   should   really   follow   them   on   insta   @callmejalissa  ,   they’re   about   to   hit   89m   followers  .   the   tabloids   have   been   calling   them   the   vixen   because   they   are   known   for   being   whimsical   but   also   a   bit   abrasive  .   though   most   people   recognize   them   by   a   drunken   gaze   staring   into   the   mirror   as   she   holds   finger   guns   to   her   head   ,   a   laugh   too   contagious   ,   leaving   notes   in   lipstick   on   bathroom   mirrors   &   echoing   of   her   mothers   longtime   disapproval   .    —   ooc info   (   mia.   twenty.   est.   she/her.   )

GUYYYSSSS ?! this group ? a masterpiece , wow . im hella excited to get to roleplay with you all . im mia by the way , im twenty ( i’ll be 21 in june what a vibe ) & i live in the est ( a clam chowder eating , dunkin donuts chugging , no Rs havin , boston sports loving new englander ). also i go by she/her pronouns ! i am going to be so honest with you guys . this intro is dummy long . like , i promise i will not judge you if you hmu asking for a quick synopsis of my girl because this shit below this cut ? is a novella & a half , sis . if im very honest i really just needed to flesh her out completely because she’s a new baby of mine ? and i wanted to make sure i really knew her before i put her out on the dash . im so anal about this , i know . anyways , before this little note section gets as long as the intro without further a do ? adu ? idfk ... here’s jalissa , she’s ... a piece of work . also if you'd prefer to plot on discord hmu @ 𝖒𝖌𝖐'𝖘 𝖜𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖊#9789 .

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐇

full name: jalissa  billie-jean  berkowitz nickname: lissa , jals , jb , berks , jalissa cadden ( porn name ) birthday: october 13th birthplace: fort lauderdale , florida hometown: hilton grove residence: hilton grove nationality: american ( est. 1997 through birth ) , british ( est. 1997 automatically a citizen due to mother’s citizenship , passport was claimed est. 2012 ) ethnicity: askenazi jewish ( maternal & paternal , 100% ) religion: judaism orientation: pansexual , panromantic ( she never really came out per say , people just kind of know she’s attracted to all genders . her family is very religious and she’s very involved with her synagogue so she’s made the choice not the necessarily put a label on her sexuality but is open about loving people no matter gender ) languages spoken: english ( fluent , first language ) , yiddish ( fluent , second language ) , spanish ( fluent , third language ) , german ( conversational , fourth language ) . father: henry  christian  berkowitz  ( 50 years old )  was born & raised in fort lauderdale , florida by a politician / banking heir & talk show host / philanthropist . henry himself went on to follow in his father’s footsteps and serve as a us senator for two terms & currently is the ceo of berkowitz capital . ( relationship:  it’s never been perfect but the love is clear in the relationship & he’s been much better at being supportive of her in recent years . certainly a daddy’s little girl even when you do wrong you can’t do much wrong type of situation ) mother : austen  sylvia  rachelson-berkowitz  ( 48 years old ) was born & raised in westminster ,  england up until her teens when she & her mother moved to washington dc after her mother had become the incumbent uk ambassador to the united states . austen was crowned miss usa at the age of 20 & later went on to follow in her families long time involvement in politics ( holding former offices as a us representative as well as governor for two terms ) . today she spends much of her time putting her law degree to work on criminal cases . ( relationship: they’ve never been close & have never quite seen eye to eye . since jalissa was nineteen she & her mom haven’t said more than ten words to one another & if they have it’s never necessarily positive ) brother: kenneth  patrick  berkowitz  ( 24 years old ) was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . he shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples first born & only son . kenneth is following in the berkowitz footsteps & is heading the uk sector for berkowitz capital since graduating from columbia university a couple years back . ( relationship: the two siblings have always been close. they had a similar friend group growing up & alot of the same interests . they’re still rather close to this day despite being countries away from one another ) sister: sariah  rachel  berkowitz ( 19 years old )  was born in fort lauderdale , florida & raised in hilton grove . she shares the same parents as jalissa and is the couples last born . sariah currently attends stanford university where she’s on a pre med track . ( relationship: the two were often at each other’s necks growing up . mostly because how similar they are to one another . as of recently the two have grown close , though , with sariah fessing up to looking up to her older sister ) social class: upper education: highschool diploma ( hilton grove highschool g. 2015 ) career: youtuber ( from 2014-present ) , pornographic actress ( from 2016-present ) , podcaster (from 2018-present ) notoriety: being apart of the prominent berkowitz family , having one of the top 10 most watched pornographic movies , her podcast with her best friend tickets to our downfall  & her youtube channel callmejalissa . weight: 122lbs  height: 5′4″ hair color: brown ( with blonde highlights ) eye color: hazel ( wears blue contacts sometimes ) positive traits: whimsical , astute , extroverted , affectionate , quick , intelligent , friendly , ambitious , passionate , humorous , loyal , compassionate , effervescent negative traits: opportunistic , recalcitrant , hypocritical , vain , critical , stubborn , distant , sneaky , abrasive , sarcastic , obsessive , vengeful , reckless , arrogant likes: black coffee , birthday parties , lying , sunshine , baby pink , glossy lips , gossiping , stand up comedy , sunkissed skin , dogs , peanut butter , popping champagne bottles , driving with the windows down , swimming , mimosas , oversized sweaters , taco bell , cranberry juice , makeup , football , cosmetic work , arguing , online shopping , exotic foods , jewelry the price of a car , fresh berries , roller skating dislikes: liars , driving in the snow , her mother , jelly , basketball , bad drivers , when people lie about their cosmetic work , sushi , hateful people , disloyalty , overly emotional people , romance , being alone ,  astrology enthusiasts , hospitals , silence , cheap perfume , criticism , traffic , being late , red wine , short hair , anything banana or grape flavored  hobbies: reading magazines , dancing to her newly curated playlist in the mirror , gossiping with her grandparents , video editing , meddling , going for brunch , goat yoga , drinking alcohol while snuggled up in bed , painting alternate universe cartoons , attending big soirees , making impulsive decisions , smoking weed , sleepovers with her closest friends , suntanning on yacht decks , late night instagram lives , marilyn monroe movie marathons  chara inspo: kourtney kardashian , emily nelson ( a simple favor ) , tan france ( queer eye ) , evie zamora ( thirteen ) , rebekah mikaelson ( the vampire diaries ) , jennifer check ( jennifer’s body ) , gabrielle solis ( desperate housewives ) , regina george ( mean girls ) , lucifer morningstar ( lucifer ) , kathryn merteuli ( cruel intentions ) , veronica lodge ( riverdale ) , chanel oberlin ( scream queens ) , samantha jones ( sex and the city ) , andie anderson ( how to lose a guy in 10 days ) , blair waldorf ( gossip girl ) , naomi lapaglia ( wolf of wall street ) , maddy perez ( euphoria ) , kat hernandez ( euphoria ) fashion inspo: fran drescher , bella hadid , alex chung , madison beer , romee strijd , kendall jenner , selena gomez  career inspo: tana mongeau , jordan lipscombe , sofia franklyn , alexdandra cooper , lana rhodes , abella danger headcanons: she has one hundred percent smashed the windows in an exes car , she drives a black range rover , vandalized an exes home before , says “ harely quinn is my spirit animal “ once a day , is not the type of ask if you’re okay with her vlogging , has slept with rock stars and couldn’t care less that they’re basically the age of dirt at this point , is actually very sad when she’s not putting on the vivacious front in front of people , dances on tables whens she’s drunk , its not a party unless someone has offered her a line  

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀

the   berkowitz   family name has long been one that holds prestige & power . among the 1% for over a century . they are a prominent banking family that has had their hands in the pots of nearly every big banking company across the nation . coming into the united states after word broke of the california gold rush back in 1849 , the berkowitz brother’s were of the lucky few to acquire pounds of gold by the thousands . later founding what would become a leading investment bank known as berkowitz capital . the generations to follow would capitalize on the head start given to them by the two brothers . expanding the family company as well as the knowledge of the family name through heavy involvement in politics alongside the kennedy’s . since as early as 1953 there has always been a berkowitz family member actively appointed to a political role ( governor , senator , representative , us ambassador , etc ) . although the families roots within the states are documented in the capital of california , as generations went on they made their way over to the east coast , with most of the family members now residing in southern florida . 

the   rachelson   family is a prominent political family . synonymous with power & eloquence . with their rise initially taking place in the british parliament . many escaped to england from germany between 1933-1935 . they hadn’t settled into the states until jocelyn rachelson ( jalissa’s maternal grandmother ) was appointed the united kingdoms ambassador to the united states in 1987 . the rachelson’s have since had heavy involvement in the us government , both behind the scenes and at the forefront . much of the rachelson family have stayed within the european union ( germany & poland ) as well as england . although the few that followed jocelyn to the states now reside in washington dc and the tri-state area .

henry & austen had met through their mutual friends . it didn’t take long before the two became a rather public couple , a supercouple if you would ( similar to that of a brangelina of the 1% ) . although they’d met in new york the two decided that when it was time to start a family they wanted to move to hilton grove , an island austen had eyed for years . instead they found themselves moving down to fort lauderdale where henry had grown up . before they knew it , they were three kids deep in settling down in fort lauderdale . austen’s anger from never wanting to build a life in florida started to tumble into the relationship & the daily life of the family & so in an effort to recover the marriage henry agreed to moving the family up to hilton grove , where they have resided ever since .

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐄𝐑𝐀

jalissa was born the second of three children and oh boy does she suffer from middle child syndrome , riddled with a envy and a need to be in the mix . the berkowitz household , although , from the outside looking in looked like a fabulous family life was anything but . jalissa , like her siblings , was born on a pedestal & what came attached with that was even higher expectations from her parents . her parents found a way to be extremely authoritarian & uninvolved all at the same time . they were very dismissive if you disappointed them & everything jalissa did seemingly did just that .

for a long time she was obsessed with getting her parents approval , she’d turned life into a silent competition between herself & her siblings . she befriended only the people her parents approved of , did all the events they asked her to do , did everything she could to excel academically & only dated people who were of benefit to her parents ( people who’s parents where also in high places ) . 

during highschool she joined the model un , debate team , and soccer team . if it were up to jalissa & not her parents she’d probably had joined the cheerleading team but her mother would never let that fly . it was too “ self indulgent “ to fit the family brand ( if only she’d known what would be coming years later lol ) .

it wasn’t until she was seventeen that she started to deviate from her parents wishes . of course , the catalyst to this was a boy , one her parents hadn’t really approved of but jalissa was completely head over heels for him . he really helped her boost her confidence to be her own person ? and not allow her parents to treat her like a puppet . with his encouragement she started her youtube channel , something she’d wanted to do for years but her mother had shot down the idea anytime jalissa brought it up . it was once again too “ self indulgent ” . the channel known as callmejalissa was an outlet for her , talking to a camera was the most heard she’d felt in seventeen years of her life . and god she knew that was hella sad . she really grew to view her subscribers as family & by the time her channel was brought to her parents attention ( more like her mothers , her dad had found her channel just four months after she’d made it and promised not to tell her mother so long as she was smart about what she posted ) she was about to turn eighteen and there wasn’t much they could do to stop her from doing it .

at eighteen she’d graduated highschool salutatorian with offers from university of pennsylvania & brown university . in all honesty she didn’t wnat to go to college , she saw it as a complete waste of her time . it wasn’t like she was going to do anything with the degree anyways . it would simply be a point of bragging for her parents at events & at this point she really could care less about them being able to brag to their friends . she knew she had to play along though , because this was the same year she was going to receive her first half of her trust fund ( a whoopin 500m , yes her trust fund in total will be 1b her parents are grossly wealthy guys ) so she bamboozled ? her parents , promising she’d committed to attending penn just so they’d allow for the money to be released to her account . she moved out of the house , literally moving into a house of her own a couple blocks from her parents house & claimed she was living in pennsylvania for college . we stan a sneaky binch .

two months later her parents were at her front door , though , ready to give her an ear full . her mother basically disowned her at this point . telling her how every year jalissa found a new way to be a bigger disappointment . her dad kind of played good cop , like he normally would because her mother often dug into her pretty deeply . to the point where any insecurity ( even though with the way she carries herself you’d never think she has any ) she has stems from something her mother has said / called her in the past . if henry berkowitz had a soft spot , it was certainly jalissa , it that had only grown clearly with the harsher austen became on the girl .

a few months before her nineteenth birthday a sex tape was released of jalissa cheating on her boyfriend at the time . it was a drunken mistake she’d made around the time of her mother basically disowning her , but that explanation did suffice for her boyfriend who inevitably broke things off with her . although this was a horrific time she’d received an abundance of offers to film more tapes . it was enticing to say the least . she was someone who loved intercourse but also had this deeply rooted desire to get back at her mother ? and what better way to do so then to something so far left from what her mother was about . this was next level disappointment in the eyes of austen berkowitz . the only thing that made sense ( in her mind ) was to dive head first into the porn industry .

like you’d expect her parents had a fit when they found out about her new career choice . although her internet fame had soared to new heights and her youtube & instagram followers were loving every second of this move . her mom was currently serving as governor and has since not been able to get elected in the political world since jalissa became one of the top porn stars around . they basically blacklisted her & jalissa feels no remorse , she’s gone so far as telling her mother “ sucks to be shunned , huh? ” .

although it took her dad a while to come around , he cares far too much to shut her out . 

not to long after jalissa & her best friend started their podcast tickets to our downfall , it’s a mix of call her daddy & the basement yard , basically two besties talking on a level that most people wouldn’t want to leave the privacy of their own space , giving advice , hoe tricks , and telling funny stories of their past . it a total hit & one of jalissa’s favorite things to do .

she live sin the same house she has since she was eighteen . she lives on her own with three dogs and a cat . she absolutely hates being alone and so maggie ( a tan corgi puppy ) , louis ( a  yellow lab puppy ) , humphrey ( a chocolate lab ) , and cedric ( a orange scottish fold ) are her babies that keep her sane in her big ole home . 

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 

as you can tell jalissa is chaotic , impulsive , reactive , and overall just searching for attention . she doesn’t care if the attention she receives is for the wrong reason or not , as long as she’s getting it . despite this she’s a good person ? i promise . she’s very friendly , loves a good joke & having a good time . very fun loving . she’s the type of person to try and bring up everyone else’s mood even when she isn’t feeling 100% herself . she’s loyal to those she deems are loyal to her . sometimes she’s bad a seeing who is actually loyal to her though & will be disloyal to someone who actually has her back ? oops . she’s definitely not the type to sugar coat anything for you , she tells it like it is & refuses to apologize if that hurts your feelings . if you cross her ? i’ll be praying for you . she’s the type to fuck your s/o , tell your boss some wild story about you & dump alcohol over your head at an event all in the matter of a week . don’t get her going , she’s absolutely relentless . with that said she’d very affectionate ... ? you can catch her hugging up on whoever is next to her at all times . touch is her love language , because lord knows she’s no sweetheart . she hates the stereotype of porn stars / internet personalities being ditzy , although she didn’t attend university she was accepted into two ivy leagues based off her academic abilities alone . the girl is intelligent & enjoys having a clever conversation from time to time .

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

a girl squad or just a squad in general really , give my baby her lil group of people please

her ex boyfriend from when she was seventeen ( he’s mentioned above ) but basically he’s the one who encouraged her to not let her parents make her their puppet , they didn’t approve of him , jalissa fell head over heels for him . they would’ve dated for nearly two years because the sex tape of her cheating on him came out .

the person she cheated on her ex with ? maybe they’re the one who leaked the sex tape ? maybe they never even told jalissa they were recording ? 

her best friend that she does the tickets to our downfall podcast with ? these two are literally like twins , just two peas in a pod ( pun intended )

fans of her work ? and im not taking about her youtube channel or podcast 

ex hook ups that think she’s crazy ? she probably gave them reason to think so lbr

frenemies give me blair & serena circa season one type of shit

just plain old enemies , they were probably friends at one point or maybe just have always disliked one another ? 

smoking buddies were they literally just hot box cars together and munch on taco bell talking about why sound vibrates & shit 

someone who isn’t afraid to confess their love for jalissa but her damaged ass refuses to confess her feelings for them ? so it’s just this constant cycle of them having a good time , them being sweet & her just gets weirdly quite & starring at them before she complaining about them going and ruining the vibes

she’s a bad influence on them ? they’re a good influence on her ? ride or dies ? partners in crime ? only friends when there is a substance involved ? sugar baby vibes ? unlikely friends ? flings ? crush ? friends with benefits ? everytime they are around one another its a fight ? someone she lets crash at her place sometimes ? someone she’s backstabbed & maybe they don’t even know she has & they still think she’s a ride or die for them ?

[samsexualdeancurious]

Thanks For Listening | Chapter 1

Square: Free Space

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Words: 8,498

Warnings: hurt!Reader, pining, eventual smut, dirty talk, voice!kink, unprotected sex.

Summary: Sam hosts two podcasts - a secret one for hunters called the War Room and a public one with fellow hunter Y/N called Criminal History. Y/N and Sam have never seen each other, let alone met, but that doesn’t stop Sam from worrying when Y/N suddenly goes missing.

Betaed by @manawhaat 

Written for @spnkinkbingo

Header by me and Mana

Masterlist - AO3

--

You rest your elbows on the cheap motel table, leaning on it as you speak into the microphone. "Chief, you've heard my thoughts on this. What do you think?"

There's a pause, the same little dramatic one Sam does every time, and then that rich voice you adore says, "I think he's guilty as hell."

You can't suppress a small laugh at Sam's straight-forward statement. "Well, folks, the Chief has spoken - and the jury has, too. Guilty. As. Hell. Keith Hunter Jesperson, A.K.A. the Happy Face Killer, was sentenced to life without parole and is currently housed in Oregon State Penitentiary. If you want to hear another side of this story, I recommend the podcast Happy Face, which is hosted by Melissa Moore, Jesperson's daughter. Anything else you want to add?"

"Definitely check out that Happy Face podcast, guys. It's a great one."

"Thanks, Chief. Until next time, then, folks. This is Criminal History. Thanks for listening."

You sit back from the mic, both you and Sam leaving a moment of silence where Sam can later cut the recording and add in the outro music.

"How was that?" you ask. "Think we need to go again?"

"No, you were great," Sam assures you. "You always are. You know that."

Your cheeks warm at the compliment. "I know," you say, putting on a little bit of a playfully cocky tone. "I just like hearing you say it."

Sam laughs and your stomach does happy flips. "Fine," he teases. "I see how it is. You're just using me for my voice."

"You caught me," you say with enough playfulness in your voice to hopefully combat the heat in your cheeks, even though Sam can't see that.

You find yourself staring longingly at the computer screen, wishing for the hundredth time today alone that you could see Sam's face. But, unfortunately, voice recordings are easier on shitty motel WiFi than video calls are.

“If you think we’ve got everything we need, I’m gonna stop my recording,” you continue, pushing past your wandering thoughts.

“We’re good. Go ahead and stop the recording.”

You do just that, saving the file and uploading it to a file sharing service Sam found. “File’s uploading now. We’ll see how long it takes on this motel WiFi. I’m surprised we didn’t have any connection issues. The WiFi really sucked earlier.”

“Gotta love motel WiFi. What episode number is this?”

“47 according to my notes,” you reply. “We’re not even to 50 and you’re already losing track?”

“I’m running two podcasts. There’s only so much my brain can handle.”

“What? Sam Winchester’s brain has a limit? Alert the media.”

You can practically hear his eyes rolling. “Ha ha. You still chasing that vamp nest?”

“Unfortunately. I’m gonna meet up with Allen Burton tomorrow. He caught wind of the nest moving south past Moab.”

“Allen. I’m not familiar with that name. He’s experienced?”

“Not as experienced as I would prefer but everyone else is caught up in something or on the other end of the country, and I’m not waiting around for these bastards to kill anyone else.”

Sam makes a soft, displeased sound. “Be careful, okay?”

Your heart warms at the concern in Sam’s voice and you try to play it off with a little joking. “Always am.”

Sam doesn’t fall for your change of tone, though. “Y/N. Please. Vampires are no joke.”

“I know. I’ll be careful,” you promise, suddenly eager to reassure him.

“Call or text me when you’ve got the nest wrapped up?”

“Of course.”

---

Sam is reluctant to end the call. He always is. Y/N is just so easy to talk to, which is part of why they make such good co-hosts. Recording their weekly episodes are one of the highlights of his week.

He reaches over and flicks the switch on the wall behind his desk - the one connected to the “Quiet Please. Recording in Progress” sign and the red light above his office door. This was his own special addition to this room and the wiring was a giant pain in the ass but it was definitely worth it to minimize the sounds in the hall outside. 

Someone knocks on the door as soon as the sign and light are turned off. “Come in,” he calls, saving his own audio file to a folder he’ll download Y/N’s to once it’s uploaded.

“Ya done in here?” Dean asks, poking his head in.

“Done with Criminal History,” Sam tells him, spinning his chair around. Another worthwhile investment, his nice desk chair. “Still gotta record an interview for the War Room.”

“I’m Sam Winchester,” Dean says in a gruff voice, stepping fully into the room. “Welcome to the War Room.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “I don’t sound like that.”

“You totally sound like that.”

“Do you have a reason for being here or are you just being annoying?”

Dean holds up a plate Sam didn’t notice he had. “Dinner.”

“Have I really been in here that long?” Sam asks, happily accepting the plate to find that Dean made chicken and rice with chipotle green onion gravy.

“You sure have. You and Y/N must’ve been a coupla of old Chatty Cathy’s today.”

“Yeah, it took us a while to get going,” Sam admits around a bite of food.

“What’s she been up to?”

“Still tracking that vamp nest. It’s moved into southern Utah now and she’s gonna meet up with another hunter, some guy named Allen, to finally take care of it. Well, that’s what she’s hoping for, at least.”

“You two gonna hang out once she wraps that case up?”

Dean shoots Sam a wink and Sam responds with a glare. That only prompts his brother to laugh.

“Seriously, Sammy,” Dean says. “You’ve been digital pen pals for over a year. It’s about time you finally meet.”

Dean’s right and Sam knows he is, but it’s his duty as the younger brother to never admit it. Truthfully, Sam’s dying to meet Y/N. As hunters, they’re both a little paranoid about new people and despite knowing each other for so long, they’ve never actually video chatted, let alone met in person. He trusts Y/N, though. He feels like he really knows who she is, after all their texting and phone calls pre-podcast, all the time they spend just talking ‘off the clock’, and the hours of recorded chat he sometimes edits down into bonus episodes.

In all honesty, Sam likes Y/N. He likes her a lot. He’d never tell her that, though. They’ve got a good thing going and he doesn’t want to ruin that with his own mess of feelings when it’s so much easier to just keep things to himself.

“We’ll see,” is all Sam gives his brother. He drains his water bottle washing down a mouthful of rice and shakes the empty container at Dean. “Can you go fill this?”

“I’m not your butler,” Dean grumbles even as he takes the water bottle.

“Thank you!” Sam calls after him, spinning to put his plate on the desk and really go to town on his dinner. It’s a simple recipe but a delicious one, if a little spicy.

Dean returns with the water bottle just as Sam is scraping his plate clean.

“You’re the best,” Sam says, happily accepting the bottle in exchange for the plate.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean replies. “Don’t you forget it.”

“I won’t. Now get out so I can record.”

As soon as the door is closed behind Dean, Sam flicks his sign on again and swings over to his microphone. He drinks a little water to clear his throat, checks the clock to see that he has a few minutes left until his guest hunter calls, and hits the record button. A thirty-second wait for white noise and then he leans in a little closer to the microphone than he usually does for Criminal History.

“I’m Sam Winchester,” he says, unable to resist being just a little dramatic. “Welcome to the War Room.”

---

Y/N texts Sam right up until she and Allen are headed out to where they think the vamps are hiding, three days after they’d first met up.

She doesn’t text Sam after that.

---

"You've reached Y/N. I'm probably off having more fun than you are. Leave a message."

Sam signs, scrubbing a hand over his face as he enters the bunker kitchen. "Y/N, it's Sam. Again. Please call me as soon as you can." He hangs up, tapping his phone against his hand as he fights the urge to call again.

"She still not answering?" Dean asks from where he's standing at the stove frying bacon.

Sam shakes his head and shoved his phone in his pocket. "It's been almost a week. I'm getting really worried."

"Do you know where the nest was? Maybe you should go check on her."

"Somewhere in southern Utah. I don't know exactly where, though. Last we spoke she said the vamps had holed up somewhere not on a map." Sam slams one hand flat against the door of the fridge before running that same hand through his hair. "Shit, I should've gotten the coordinates from her."

"Hey, hey," Dean says, dumping bacon onto a paper towel and returning the pan to the burner. "I'm sure she's fine. She probably just lost her phone somewhere and hasn't been able to get a new one"

"After a week?" Sam shoots Dean an incredulous look.

"Just trying to think positively."

Sam slumps, leaning against the fridge. "I know. I'm just-"

"Really worried. I know. I can tell." Dean nudges Sam to the side so he can get a carton of eggs from the fridge. "Are there any hunters we know that are in the area and can check on her?"

"I don't know. I think Charlie was in Idaho."

"Well,” Dean says, cracking a couple of eggs straight into the bacon grease that still coats the pan. “Go give Charlie a call."

Sam feels a little better having something he can do right now and he immediately pulls his phone out. He realizes too late that Charlie is in a different timezone, but by some miracle Charlie is just getting back to her car after a salt and burn and answers after the second ring. She promises to head south and see if she can track down Y/N.

"I'll keep you updated," she promises. "It's almost a seven-hour drive, though, and I need a few hours of shut-eye before I get on the road."

Sam nods, stirring a bit of creamer into his coffee. "Do what you need to do. I don't want you putting yourself in danger."

"I'll text you when I'm on the road."

"Thanks, Charlie. I really appreciate it."

"Hey, man. After everything you've done for me? Checking up on someone is the least I can do. Plus, Y/N is a friend, too. But I know you guys are really close and it's not like her to be out of contact this long."

Sam leans against the counter, suppressing another sigh. It feels like he’s done that a hundred times in the last hour alone.

“Hey,” Charlie says gently, seeming to sense Sam’s distress. “We’ll find her.”

“Thanks, Charlie,” Sam murmurs. “I’ll let you get some sleep.”

They end the call and Sam turns his attention to his coffee, fighting to keep his mind from wandering.

“It’ll be fine,” Dean says from where he’s now sitting at the table, mouth full of eggs and bacon. “Eat some bacon and find something to distract yourself.”

“I’ll try,” Sam mutters, snagging a piece of bacon and heading off to his office.

---

Sam’s really glad they’re ahead on recording for Criminal History because he’s able to lose himself in editing and getting the episode uploaded. Then he gets the next episode of War Room ready to go. From there, though, all he has left is to edit more episodes of Criminal History and he just… can't. He can't sit in his office and listen to her voice when he doesn't know if she's even alive 

No. Don't think like that. He rubs both palms over his face, trying to scrub that horrible thought from his brain. She's alive. She has to be.

--

Like this fic? Support me longterm on Patreon HERE or make a one-time donation of Ko-Fi HERE

--

Team Forever: @mrswhozeewhatsis @books-and-icecream @laughing-at-the-darkness @tumbler-tidbits @imsuperawkward

Team Sam: @saxxxology

Team TFL: @wonderfulworldofwinchester @kickingitwithkirk @muchamusedaboutnothing @ellen-reincarnated1967

[humboldtfog]

Years of depression has prepared me very well for the current state of affairs which is weird but whatever here’s a list of my faves on netflix, if I’m missing something let me know cause now’s the time, right?

I'm kinda embarrassed by how long this list is but also kinda like fuck that, there have been very long periods of time where it was either sit and watch shows all day or lie down and stare at the wall in silence all day so I chose the former and it adds up and there's nothing wrong with that.

Glow (Badass ladies learn to wrestle, great 80s aesthetics and grrrrl power.)

Our Planet (Netflix version of Planet Earth, beautiful, cute, terrifying that we aren’t doing more to save us all.)

Bojack Horseman (Hilarious and “deep” critique of LA and celebrity culture for people who don’t care about LA or celebrity culture. Also very funny visual jokes about how if animals were also kinda humans, and lots of great jokes about cliches and tropes, puns, and weirdly rhyming and alliteration? I don’t know how to explain it just watch it.)

Father Brown (BBC, based on mystery novels about a priest who always meddles in police business and solves murders in his small English countryside town.)

Pose (The Ball scene in NY in the 80s, poc queer and trans writers and actors bringing their people’s stories to life. So much joy, so much beauty, but also NYC in the 80s so you will cry.)

Paris is Burning (Documentary made during the Ball scene Pose is based on.)

Sex Education (Such empowering representations of all walks of gender and sexuality, and actually very educational, like I would straight up show this in schools because everyone would be very entertained and would learn a lot more than they teach in a lot of schools.)

What Happened Miss Simone (Documentary about Nina Simone’s life, music and the activism the establishment/ government worked to suppress and used to blacklist her.)

Night on Earth (Low light camera technology has gotten hella good and they’re starting to learn stuff about animals’ behaviors at night that they’ve never been able to study before.)

Call the Midwife (Follows stories from the midwives that worked in the East End of London after the war, based on memoirs. Interesting look at the kind of life of poverty people led before there were many large hospitals or birth control, right as the British were implementing their universal healthcare program.)

The Great British Baking Show (Everyone’s so nice and everything looks so good!)

Atypical (Dramady about a high schooler with autism and his family, very funny and great representations of autism and how to be a good dude.)

Parks and Recreation (Just very funny and everyone knows it. Amazing ensemble cast, and they still keeps in touch through a group chat awww doesn’t that say something!)

Kim’s Convenience (Canadian comedy about family of first and second gen Korean immigrants that’s just a really solid funny modern day sitcom.)

Queer Eye (I feel like if everyone in this world could get a life makeover from these guys we just wouldn’t be here right now.)

Obvious Child (Jenny Slate accidentally gets pregnant and gets an abortion. It’s funny and it’s realistic, we’re not all Juno.)

Maria Bamford: the Special Special Special (Rad lady comedian not afraid to talk about her mental health and lack thereof and very vocal about the stigma surrounding mental health problems and I very much relate to. My favorite standup probably ever. I could make a list just for standup so message me if you’d like more suggestions.)

Monty Python (Flying Circus, movies, doc, ect. “The Beatles of comedy” is the cliche but it's true.)

Easy (Very unconventional non-narrative structure and editing, following random people in Chicago in a very real life feeling way. Different story each episode, but sometimes characters show up briefly in each other’s lives or return for a second episode.)

Everything Sucks! (High school nerds and lesbians and theater geeks in the 90s! I’m so sad this only got one season I rewatched it recently and it’s just so solid.)

She’s Gotta Have It (Revival of Spike Lee’s first movie, black girl magic, art world, gentrified New York, lots of sex.)

The Office (Classic, holds up very well, totally solid throughout, worth a rewatch. Also if you're a fan Jenna Ficher and Angela Davis are doing a rewatch podcast jsyk.)

Billy on the Street (Mindless game show for laughs, amazing gay comedian runs around New York yelling questions at them. I watch this with my dad and he can’t help but snort even when it’s “inappropriate” or “juvenile” so you know it’s good.)

Good Girls (Some lower middle class family ladies that are all about to be broke decide to rob the grocery store one of them works at, but they accidentally cross a gang that stored their cash there, so they gotta pay it back, and of course can’t help but get deeper and deeper into it. Very suspenseful like your heart rate will go up and stay up. )

Arrested Development (It’s just funny, as you've probably heard, but I'm telling you it just really is.)

The Laundromat (Tells the stories of a few of the people involved in the panama papers in different ways, explains in an entertaining way how money laundering works in a way that made it mostly make sense even to me. The rich get richer, and Meryl Streep is here to tell them to fuck off and pay their taxes.)

Russian Doll (She keeps dying and coming back to the same moment over and over and can’t figure out how to stop the cycle or why so kinda sci fi, very suspenseful, big cliff hanger ending, or rather no ending, and just found out season two filming is delayed because virus which is very annoying!!)

Dear White People (Show picking up where the movie left off, after a frat hosts a black face party and the ivy league college is forced to deal with racism.)

Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings (Stories based on Dolly songs. Very Hallmark channel, you will cry.)

Episodes (Show about two British writers making a version of their BBC show for American tv. Kind of meta, very funny, Matt LaBlanc plays himself and it's great.)

Dumplin’ (Fat girl grows up with a beauty pageant winning mom and enters one herself with the help of her late aunt’s Dolly Parton drag queen friends.)

Lunatics (Chris Lilley is the best character actor ever, all his shows are just him playing different parts and you seriously forget it’s all one actor, even when he’s playing teenage girls.)

Jane the Virgin (Prime time soap opera about a girl who is engaged and waiting until marrige and is accidentally inseminated with the only sperm sample of a man who’s had cancer so decides to keep the baby, very heavy on the soap opera cliches in a meta way but also that’s what it is. So good at first but after the first three or so seasons it gets too much tbh though.)

Zumbo’s Just Desserts (Australian Bake show but with just sweet stuff and pressure to be avant garde.)

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee (Jerry Sienfeld goes out with funny people to coffee and lunch in fancy cars and they have funny conversations.)

One Day at a Time (Very very cheesy laugh track sitcom, like the kind of thing my grandma would watch, but it makes me so happy it’s doing a great job eplaining really woke concepts like queer pronouns and ptsd and addiction and white privilege to people like my grandma!)

Orange is the New Black (Good stories about very diverse characters, I’d say by starting it off about a upper middle class white girl it tricks privileged white people into watching and then encountering the more realistic stories of women who go to prison and how the system treats prisoners. Ending of season two is super solid and you can stop it there, season three is a really great critique of the privatization of prisons. I admit it goes on and on to the point that it’s stressful and after watching it spread out over years I can’t remember/ keep up with all the different story lines, though they’re all good stories to tell.)

Space Jam (Just saw while scrolling for more ideas this was added! One of the greatest sports movies of all time obviously.)

Bonus amazon prime shows, I try to avoid Amazon in general but these are just too good if you know a prime member who you can't convince not to give their money to amazon so they might as well give you their login (like yer dad).

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (A 1950s New York upper class Jewish house wife gets dumped and starts doing stand up, so funny, great actors, and they seriously transform NY back into another era.)

Good Omens (Mini series based off Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s satirical novel about the biblical apocalypse, very funny, very smart, very British, does the book pretty solid justice.)

There are other decent things that aren’t included, I’d say these are solid recs for a general list of genres all over the map without letting it get to a ridiculously unhelpful length. I feel like I’d be good at the “if you like this then you’ll also like…” so let me know if some of these are your favorites too and want personal recs for what to watch next based on a brain instead of an algorithm.

If you want to have a remote date and watch things together on video chat or one of those watch party sites or just tell me what to watch next here’s some stuff on my list I’ve been curious about or not sure about or don’t want to watch alone or have been putting off, and now’s the time right?: Strangers Things, I Am Not Okay With This, Black Panther, The Betty White doc, John Mulaney Snack Lunch Bunch, Dead to Me, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, A Wrinkle in Time, The Little Prince, Maniac, Wet Hot American Summer reboots, and a bunch of different standup specials from comedians I like.

[yousayparty]

The right place, the right time, and the right amount of exclamation marks

The history of Vancouver via Abbotsford British Columbia’s You Say Party is a storied one. Imagine this: trapped in a never ending nightmare of suburban dystopian hell, you form a band. With the simple adjective of having fun, spreading a message, making people dance - you leave the confines of a religiously stifling community. Within a few years you’re playing the world’s top festivals, winning awards, and wooing critics.

But now I find myself piecing foggy bits of memory fragments together with duct tape and hairspray. Like stickers on a dive bar bathroom stall, I know I was there. But why and for how long? I feel like I’m sifting through a shoebox of handbills and press clippings like some True Crime podcaster placing myself at the scene.

I’m not sure where I first heard the name You Say Party! We Say Die! but it caught my eye. It was an era of exuberant band names. !!!, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Shout Out Out Out Out, Hot Hot Heat, Fake Shark- Real Zombie! And my own band GoGoStop! It was also a time when bands out Vancouver’s sleepy conservative suburbs were starting to break out: Witness Protection Program, The Hand, Fun100.

It was exciting. There was a sense of community. Of people just wanting to have fun. Perhaps we were shaking off the anxieties of a post 9/11 world, or shrugging off the self seriousness that was emo and hardcore. We still made mix tapes and zines- scoured Terminal City and The Straight for new bands. There was this new social networking craze called MySpace that had yet to be a ubiquitous omnipresent corporate behemoth that dominated every corner of our lives. We were called Scenesters not Hipsters. Everyone was in an art collective.

Adorned with white belts and one-inch pins; asymmetrical hair cuts and red velvet blazers we set out to prove Vancouver wasn’t No Fun City at now long shuttered venues like the Marine Club, the Pic Pub, and Mesa Luna. I didn’t drink at the time so dancing, and by extension dance punk, had become my saviour- bands like The Rapture, Les Say Fav, Pretty Girls Make Graves to name a few. When Mp3 blogs became a thing, I immediately downloaded The Gap from their 2005 debut Hit The Floor! and loaded it on my 100 song iPod shuffle. I like so many others, became an instant fan.

I moved into what could only be described as a punk rock compound- 3 houses that were owned by a former Christian sect that we dubbed Triple Threat. Members of Bend Sinister, No Dice, Witness Protection Program, and Devon Clifford from You Say Party and Cadeaux (and Whiteloaf) all lived there. He drove an orange 1981 Camaro Berlinetta to match his bright red hair and big personality. We would walk to the greasy spoon Bon’s Off Broadway to get terrible but cheap breakfast and to watch The coffee Sheriff pour undrinkable refills of sludge. It was like living in the movie Withnail and I, but funner. We all wore pins that said Do You Party? on them.

It felt like Vancouver was blowing up and You Say Party was the hand-clapping drum majorette leading the pack. Ladyhawk, Black Mountain, Radio Berlin, New Pornographers, Destroyer, S.T.R.E.E.T.S., The Doers, They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? And The Organ highlighted just how tight-knit and diverse our scene was. Relentless touring and glowing reviews for You Say Party’s sophomore Lose All Time ensured they were head of the class, despite being unable to tour the US due to a previous border snafu.

Lose All Time sat on top of the Earshot charts for what seemed like forever. Famous for their frenetic live shows, and aided by stunning videos, their sophomore effort was a clear progression from Hit The Floor! It still harnessed the visceral rawness of their origins, but hinted at a confidence and maturity that was to come. The title of Lose All Time was a reference to the discombobulation of constant touring and it too was a hint of what was to come.

The touring would take its toll. Fuelled by Chinese Red Bull; a well document public dustup between band members at a bar in Germany would throw everything into uncertainty. But it was that turbulence that would set the stage for XXXX and after a restorative tour to China, the stage was set for the penultimate You Say Party record. 

Flash forward to 2009 and the city was on edge. Everything was about to change. Vancouver was preparing to host the world amidst the unfolding Great Recession. Anti-Olympic protests ramped up. A gang war raged in the streets and made international headlines, tucked behind Swine Flu hysteria and the ongoing imperialist war on Iraq.

It seemed like all the venues started closing and all our friends were moving to Berlin or Montreal. We starting looking in. Is this the city we want? Was it just growing pains? This kind of introspection is clearly reflected in XXXX. If Lose All Time was a record the band wanted to make, XXXX was a record for the people; a record for the city of Vancouver; a record for 2009.

"I finally feel like a singer, rather than a dancer who loves being in a band" said Becky Ninkovic at the time. It’s a perfect quote. One that succinctly captures the maturity and focus of the record. After a breakdown for Ninkovic, a year of rest and vocal lessons, Exclaim! announced XXXX to be a career resuscitation.

And it was. Going back now and rediscovering the record is such a magical thing. Opening for You Say Party with my band Taxes in 2008, I was impressed with the new material even if was a little jaded (I mean I was almost 30). But now with time and space I can see the songs they were working on were truly timeless. Laura Palmer’s Prom could so easily slot in with the latest 80s synthwave revival along alongside bands like Lust for Youth, Lower Dens, and Chromatics.

Overall, XXXX sounds like an exhale. A moment of stillness when you know you’ve made something extraordinary. When you know all those moments combined; moments of sheer terror, adrenalin, elation, boredom, and longing- culminate in a piece of art that once you let go of it- you just know in your gut that it’s right. It draws you in, wrestles with a brooding tension, then sends you into a churning whirlwind of tight drums and buzzing synths. It’s a remarkable achievement.

There’s plenty of vintage YSP sass throughout. “She’s Spoken For”, “Make XXXX”, and “Cosmic Wanship Avengers” are all classic synth punk gems, but the it’s in the subdued that the album really grips. “Dark Days”, “There is XXXX (Within My Heart)” and the sprawling Kate Bush like ballad “Heart of Gold” are the hallmark of a band that is comfortable exploring the limits of their genre. While lyrically quite positive, the melodies are daunting. Indeed, as Pitchfork put it, “the slower pace and more sentimental outlook of XXXX gives listeners the necessary space and encouragement to surrender to the band's emotional message”.

And it was a message they would finally return to the US with in 2009. The band was poised for mainstream breakout success. They were long listed for the Polaris and they won a Western Canadian Music Award for Best Rock Album of the year. Much has been written about what would happen next. I don’t want this article to be about the tragic onstage death of drummer and friend Devon Clifford, but it’s inexorably linked to the band’s story.

And I can only really tell it from my point of view. I wasn’t sure I would go to the funeral but a mutual friend told me that Devon would want me to go. Portland Hotel Society, a local housing provider which Devon had thrown the weight of his passion behind, rented a bus to drive out to Abbotsford. I held up pretty well until my friend Al Boyle got up to play. Then some yelled “Spagett”. Then Krista and Becky sang “Cloudbusting” and I lost it.

The band would try to carry on. Krista would leave the band and Bobby Siadat and Robert Andow of the band Gang Violence would fill in for touring.  When that didn’t go as planned Al Boyle who had been in the punk band Hard Feelings with Devon would replace Bobby. They officially went on hiatus in 2011 only to reunite a year later with Krista back on keys and a drum machine in place of Devon.

And while the band’s self titled 2016 release would be their moment of closure, the reissue of XXXX is one of celebration. Celebration of what they made with Devon. Celebration of a near perfect moment in time. A capsule of a entire city at it’s peak. The band has changed. The scene has changed. And I’ve changed. But there will always be XXXX within in our hearts.

'Cause every time it rains

You're here in my head

Like the sun coming out

Ooh, I just know that something good is going to happen

And I don't know when

But just saying it could even make it happen

Sean Orr Vancouver, BC January 2020

--------------------

We are so excited to reissue a limited run of XXXX on clear vinyl through Paper Bag Records Vintage for Record Store Day on August 29th! Support your local stores & grab this album on vinyl for the first time in 10 years! https://recordstoredaycanada.ca  #yousayparty #YSPWSD

--------------------

About Sean Orr Sean Orr is a writer, musician, artist, activist, and dishwasher living and working in the unceded Coast Salish territories of Vancouver, B.C. Besides his twice weekly news column in Scout Magazine he writes for Beatroute and has written for Vice Magazine and Montecristo among others in the past. He’s the frontman in the punk band Needs and also has a pickle company called Brine Adams. Twitter | NEEDS | Tea & Two Slices | Flickr

[daleisgreat]

25 Years of Sega Saturn & Virtual Boy - Flashback Special!

After the deluge of wrestling-themed entries for WrestleMania month this past 30 days, I have been pining to do another videogame anniversary special. Looking up which platforms have major milestone anniversaries this year, I noted six that stuck out. Four of the platforms (NES, Xbox 360, PSone, PS2) I have an extensive history with and they will get their own respective flashback treatment from me when their anniversaries draw nearer later this year. The other two platforms have all had lackluster or outright abysmal degrees of retail success and both I have only had limited histories with and never played on a consistent basis. Nevertheless, the time I did have with them I considered unique and I do have some fond memories of my experiences with each platform. So let us get on with this flashback special as I celebrate the 25th anniversaries of two consoles that each hit in 1995: Sega’s Saturn and Nintendo’s Virtual Boy.

I want to begin with the platform I have played the least of these two, the Saturn. Yes, I played my Virtual Boy and its daunting 14 game library more than the Saturn. In 1995 I was still lagging a generation behind on the latest consoles. All my family had was an NES at this point and I recently got a GameBoy for Christmas of 1993 so in 1995 I was getting a lot of mileage out of my GameBoy and my parents were still hitting up garage sales for bargain price NES game for me. By the time the Saturn and PSone hit in mid-1995, I was a year away from getting a SNES which I desired more so the Saturn and PSone were not even close to making my wish list. I read about them looming in magazines like Game Players and Electronic Gaming Monthly, but truth be told I was not all that excited for the future of disc-based platforms and the advent of polygonal graphics that were about to come into fruition with 32-bit consoles. As a naïve 12-year old, the first major 3D polygonal games that hit on SNES and Genesis in the early 90s like Star Fox and Virtua Racer looked butt-ugly to me, and from trying out demo kiosks of PSone and Saturn at stores the impatient kid I was back then was furious at this newfound ‘feature’ of the latest systems having loading times. Combine that with my family having no desire to chunk down several hundred dollars for another gaming system and I was left with no cravings for the Saturn and PSone when they both hit in 1995. I had no clue of Sega’s surprise Saturn launch announced at the first E3 in May of 1995. For the unfamiliar, it was when going into that E3 it was known that both the Saturn and PSone were slated to launch within days of each other in September of 1995, but at Sega’s press conference they said right then and there the Saturn is out right now at a handful of select retailers. In 1995 the Internet was only around for a few years and not even the slightest bit ubiquitous. Computers were still a couple years away from coming down to more reasonable family friendly prices, so at this time I got all my gaming news from my monthly subscription to Game Players.

Here is the podcast special on the Saturn I originally recorded way back in 2008. Check it out if you want to know even more about the history of the Saturn and its games. I wound up largely ignoring both the Saturn and PSone for the first few years they were out, maybe occasionally trying out an occasional store kiosk demo and that was about it. I remember the magazines at the time putting a lot of hype into Sega’s arcade ports, and console exclusives like Panzer Dragoon getting cover stories of having mind-shattering graphics, but I was not buying it at the time and stubbornly remained loyal to my 2D sprites. For the Saturn, I finally got my first real experience with it in April of 1997. I remember shortly before this time the Saturn was being pushed aggressively on TV with a special 1996 holiday bundle packaging it with Daytona USA, Virtua Fighter 2 and Virtua Cop for $199. I had no idea at the time why this ridiculous deal happened was because Sega was getting killed in sales at this point in the PSone/Saturn/N64 era and they were desperately trying to play catch-up with a hell of a value considering several months earlier in 1996 it was clinging onto its dooming launch price of $399.

Flash forward a few months later in April of 1997 and my hometown got hit with a huge flood that forced a mandatory evacuation of the entire town for a couple weeks until the waters receded. For a couple days our family stayed at a nearby air base hangar. I believe we were planning on hunkering down there for several days until a couple days in my uncle from St. Paul surprised us and showed up and ‘volunteered’ on taking us in and refused to leave without us coming with him. My siblings and I were delighted to get out of the crowded hangar and spend time with our cousins for what ended up being a week before we were able to get back home. My cousin Royce, who was within a year of my age at the time wound up getting that Saturn three game bundle for Christmas a few months earlier and we played those three games along with the demo disc that came with the system almost every day. We must have played through Virtua Cop at least a few times, and I remember finding it a big step up from previous light gun games I was accustomed to. Daytona USA at the time did not really click with me, and while I was impressed with the graphics at the time I did not come around to checkpoint-racing games yet and was more turned off by their enforced time limits back then. On the demo disc our family got a lot of fun competing against each other in the home run derby mode available in World Series Baseball. The standout game of the pack was easily Virtua Fighter 2. It blew me away and for me it was the first game that proved not only for fighting games, but for games all together that 3D polygonal graphics and gameplay could be viable and damn fun. I knew I was a couple years late to the party by this point, but by 1997 polygonal graphics were no longer the crude, non-textured blocks and rectangles on the SNES and Genesis, but actually had some depth and style to them. I loved Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat at this point, but Virtua Fighter 2 proved to me that 3D fighters could coexist with 2D ones.

That week with my cousin was my proper introduction to the 32/64-bit era. It would be over a decade though before I got more serious hand-on time with the Saturn. Not many friends of mine had the Saturn back home, or if they did we rarely busted it out. My friend and former podcast co-host, Matt has a mammoth collection, and I only recall us turning to the system once or twice all these years to play the charming platformer SCUD. Another friend and podcast co-host of mine, Chris also has a Saturn in his equally mammoth game collection, and until 2008 I only recall us powering it on a couple of times to play the fun co-op action platformer, Three Dirty Dwarves, which had a nonsensical, grungy vibe to its destruction. In 2008, we were a couple years into doing our videogame podcast and we loved doing console retrospectives, so we decided it was time to do one on the Saturn. I just uploaded it to YouTube and integrated it into this article for your listening pleasure! Chris knew about my limited Saturn hands-on time at this point so we decided to spend literally a whole afternoon, about four to five hours of ‘research’ playing a good chunk of his Saturn collection. About 10-15 minutes for each game for a quick refresher for what each game brought to the table. There was one though we played for about two hours straight. That was the rare Panzer Dragoon Saga Chris had a copy of. I knew about it being a collectible at this point and heard the acclaim for it being an ahead of its time RPG and professed to Chris to hope to spend a little more time with it to see what the hype was all about. I remember digging its rail-shooter action the first two games established while simultaneously mixing in RPG style mechanics and exploration. I think we both got wrapped up in it, and stuck with it a bit longer than anticipated. Suffice it to say, those opening hours stood out to me all these years later and I can see why Panzer Dragoon Saga became a hot commodity.

Jeremy Parish did an excellent line of videos with deep dives on every individual Virtual Boy game released, including Japanese exclusives. Here is his take on the Wario's exclusive Virtual Boy game as of yet to be re-released, Wario Land. In my TurboGrafX-16 flashback, I wrote about how I procured the system at a gaming community meet-up event. At that same event there were several gaming systems hooked up for play throughout the night, and one of them was the Saturn. One of the highlights of that night was someone bringing enough multi-taps and controllers that we were able to get plenty of rounds of eight player Saturn Bomberman in. I am a fan of classic multiplayer Bomberman, but never played more than four players before, and was surprised to see the Saturn pull off an eight player version with a micro-sized map and characters in order to fit everyone on screen. It was a Bomberman experience that nothing will likely ever stack up to. I dug up a photo from the event of all of us gathered around the TV so you call can see the tech in action!

Sadly, I never got anymore hands on time with the Saturn after this. It is one of the few major consoles that I do not own. For years I remember seeing the system for sale at our local retro games shop for around $30, but I always hesitated on it. The games I enjoyed on there Sega released better sequels on other systems, and I later got to check out some of its top ranked games like the Capcom fighting games, Guardian Heroes, Nights Into Dreams... and acclaimed shmups like Radiant Silvergun on enhanced re-releases on the Xbox 360 and PS3. There remains games exclusive to the Saturn that I always wanted to try like Die Hard Arcade, World Series Baseball ‘98, Fighters MegaMix, Burning Rangers and Shining Force III, but with retro game prices continuously going up, the time to start a Saturn collection has come and gone in my book unless I happen to stumble upon a steal of a deal. I do have one Saturn game in my collection however, and I will give props to Matt once again who gifted me his extra copy of Bug!. While Sega pulled the plug early in America on the Saturn, it comparatively fared much better than Nintendo with the Virtual Boy. It launched in America in August of 1995, and sold so poor right out of the gate that Nintendo could not have abandoned the platform any faster. Its last game, 3D Tetris, hit North America in March of 1996, only seven months after it launched and with a total of a meager 14 games officially releasing stateside. I remember seeing the hype leading up to the Virtual Boy’s launch in the magazines, and like with the initial wave of polygonal graphics, I was not sold on the concept of virtual reality. However, a couple months after that same flood hit in 1997 our local Wal-Mart had unsold Virtual Boy inventory it was desperate to get rid of by selling the system itself for $20, and games for $5 each. This was one of the first times as a kid I recall my dad abstaining from his garage sales-only videogame rule and realized the steal the system was going for. We walked out of that Wal-Mart with the system and the copy of Mario’s Tennis it came bundled with, along with copies of Golf, Mario Clash and Nester’s Funky Bowling.

I was in the midst of spending summers on a farm at this point in my childhood for several years, and that was the summer of Virtual Boy with my siblings. I played the crap out of all four of those games. I abided by the recommended break alerts that popped up every 15-30 minutes seriously because I recall the gaming mags at the time reporting on the Virtual Boy causing eye strain after consistent use. Even with all that heavy duty play of the Virtual Boy that summer, somehow I am the only one in my family that does not have glasses. All four games we had were solid, but not mind blowing. Mario Clash I thought was a nice, fully-featured take on the classic original Mario Bros. arcade game that fleshed out that style of gameplay with about 100 stages and got so difficult early on I did not come close to finishing it. Golf was a good simulation of the sport, but it only had one course so I did not revisit it that often. I remember enjoying Mario’s Tennis a lot, but this being the debut version of that game it was more of a tennis sim with Mario characters, and had less of the wacky mini-games and power-up attacks associated with the franchise today. My siblings and I played a ton of competitive Nester’s Funky Bowling. There was not anything that funky about it other than the occasional cheerful animation from Nester and his twin sister Hester whenever you scored a strike or spare, but it was a functional enough bowling game that we had plenty of fierce rounds of over that summer. After that summer we and I got our fill of those four games and the Virtual Boy found itself in the closet for many years. Eventually I randomly dug it out and found the tripod busted, and the pack that hooked up to the back of the controller that contained the plug-in for the AC adaptor was missing. With no means of powering on the Virtual Boy, it sat in a bag forgotten in my closet for well over a decade. I will thank one Jeremy Parish for renewing my interest in Virtual Boy with his excellent line of Virtual Boy Works videos. For those that are unfamiliar with him, Parish is one of most credible members of the retro gaming press, with him hosting the renowned retro-game podcast, Retronauts since 2006 and going on to write countless books and producing chronological video series on nearly every 20th century Nintendo platform. He averages one video a week, which usually highlights one or two games and does a deep dive into its development history and then proceeds to review the game. A few years in he has already covered almost all the games released from the first years of the SNES and the first two years of NES and GameBoy.

Throughout 2019 Parish took a detour from those three systems to focus on going through the entire VirtualBoy library, including its several Japanese exclusives. His surprise love for the platform shined through his thorough coverage for each game. It is a well-produced series and fantastic history lesson for this blink-and-miss-it platform that I highly recommend checking out by click or pressing here, especially now to learn about the first major attempt at a virtual reality platform with VR now having a modicum of success with the PlayStation VR and the Oculus Rift having made legit waves these past few years. Virtual Boy Works inspired me to track down a few more Virtual Boy games to my collection which were surprisingly going for not that much on eBay. I wound up getting Galactic Pinball, TeleroBoxer, Virtual League Baseball, Vertical Force and Wario Land. I also tracked down a replacement AC Adaptor hub and tripod stand which resulted in my Virtual Boy powering on once again! I tested out all these games briefly. I love me some videogame pinball, and Galactic Pinball has some nifty 3D tricks up its sleeve. TeleroBoxer is like Punch-Out meets Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots or Real Steel for the younger readers who need a more contemporary reference. Vertical Force is a competent shmup, and I wish I put more than a few minutes into Wario Land because it is a legit top notch platformer and went down as one of the few highly rated games on the system. I swear to one day make it through Wario Land! Thank you for joining me on this two part 25th anniversary special for the Saturn and Virtual Boy! Got a favorite Virtual Boy or Saturn memory of your own? I would like to hear how it compares to my tale so shoot me a line on Twitter over @Gruel. If you enjoyed this journal-style flashback special, than I encourage you to check out the links below to the specials I wrote for the Dreamcast, GameBoy, Genesis, TurboGrafX-16 and yes, even the 32-X. Thank you all once again for indulging me!

My Other Gaming Flashbacks Dreamcast 20th Anniversary GameBoy 30th Anniversary Genesis 30th Anniversary TurboGrafX-16 30th Anniversary and 32-X 25th Anniversary

[dragonofyang]

Let’s Voltron Ep 185 - Mitch Iverson Interview: Voltron Legendary Defender Comics Transcript

The following is a complete transcript for episode 185 of Let’s Voltron: the Official Voltron Podcast in which hosts Marc Morrell and Greg Tyler interview VLD writer Mitch Iverson about the comic books, posted July 11, 2019.

The full text is below the cut, or you can read it at https://www.teampurplelion.com/lets-voltron-ep-185-mitch-iverson-interview-voltron-legendary-defender-comics-transcript/

@voltronisruiningmylife @crystal-rebellion @leakinghate @felixazrael

[Intro music: VLD opening theme]

MM: Welcome Voltron fans! This is Marc Morrell, your host for Let’s Voltron, the Official Voltron Podcast. We have another exciting interview with somebody who created content for Voltron, and this time we’re talking about the comics. So, I gotta get my cohost on, Greg Tyler. Welcome, Greg!

GT: Marc, I’m so glad you didn’t call me your comic relief.

[laughter]

GT: That would’ve been a perfect end, but anyway, yes, um, welcome to all of our listeners and fellow Voltron fans. We’re gonna talk comic books in this podcast and, uh, yeah! It’s gonna be a lot of fun. As many of you know, Voltron: Legendary Defender had three five-issue volumes of a comic book, uh, made by LionForge Comics and we’re gonna talk with one of the people who was involved in every single issue.

MM: Awesome! Awesome, so let me get this straight: every single issue?

GT: I believe so.

MM: Yeah. All fifteen. He was.

GT: Yes, all fifteen.

MM: That’s right. So, what kinds of things do you think our listeners would want to know about the comics?

GT: I don’t know! Wha--what are your thoughts?

MM: I think, uh, one of the first things people always ask about is, ‘Are there any easter eggs?’ You know, like references to other types of things like sci-fi shows or fantasy or other types of things like that.

GT: Mm-hm.

MM: So I-I think that one has to be one of our questions.

GT: Sure, th-that’s a great question. I would say that if there’s one thing--now I-I--it’s not something we can ask our guest--but one thing I think tha-that somebody might ask is ‘are they any good’. And I know that sounds silly, but I’ve heard a lot of people just say, “Eh, I don’t wanna read those comics, those are dumb.” [laughter] But you know what? If you give them a try, they’re a lot of fun in their own right. The dialogue is very natural, the characters are saying and thinking and doing things that are very in-tune with the TV series. They are interesting side stories that, uh, fit between different episodes of the show, so they do have, uh, a-a place in the story arcs, and yet they’re not so confined by them that they can’t do their own thing. And the artwork looks great, and the stories are a lot of fun. So to answer that question, if anybody out there has that, in my humble opinion, yeah, they’re good! They’re a lot of fun. What do you think, Marc?

MM: I think it’s just fun to say things like “fripping bulgogian”.

GT: [laughter] Yes. There are some wonderful sci-fi-ish terms in the comics, just like in the show, and yeah, a lot of fun.

MM: And there’s some wild alien races that you’ve never seen before on the show, and it’s just amazing in how many different wild directions they go with the comics.

GT: Yes, I agree, it, uh, yeah. There’s some really good stuff in there.

MM: Yeah. So, we’d like to bring Mitch Iverson on.

GT: Absolutely.

MM: Alright. So here comes your next guest.

[Mechanical lion roar sound effect, which then turns into Voltron robot noises and the Voltron theme]

MM: Well, Greg, I would like to introduce a former writer of Voltron: Legendary Defender on Netflix, and of course the comics that we’re going to be talking about in this episode. He was also a writer on the up-and-coming Fast and Furious animated show, and he’s working on a top-secret project for Netflix.

GT: Ooh, top secret, sounds awesome!

MM: [laughter] Everybody welcome back to the podcast Mitch Iverson! Welcome, Mitch!

MI: Hello! Thank you for having me on!

GT: Hello, Mitch, welcome back to the podcast.

MI: I’m excited to be back.

GT: Well, we’re excited to have you on. We reread the Voltron: Legendary Defender comics, all three volumes, all fifteen issues, and are--we’re just really excited to talk with you about them.

MI: Awesome. I’m excited to talk to you guys about them.

GT: So what have you been up to in Voltron circles since? We heard that--that there were rumors of a fourth volume, and then that--that fell through or something? Can you tell us anything about that?

MI: We had talked about doing it, but you know, the license… there was something going on with that, and uh, DreamWorks decided, “You know what, let’s just let Voltron: Legendary Defender be what it was.” I think everyone creatively felt like, yeah it’s a--it’s a told story. You know, now that it’s over, going back is just kind of like trying to fill in between lines that don’t necessarily need to be filled in. Like, it is--it’s an awesome story, it’s done.

GT: That’s fair. That’s fair.

MI: I will say, if I were allowed to write Monsters and Mana comics [laughter] forever, I would.

[laughter]

MM: That would be cool.

MI: But I don’t know that those would, uh, would warrant the sales. [laughter]

MM: You also have a history with Dungeons and Dragons, can you tell us about anything you’ve done recently with Dungeons and Dragons?

MI: I’ve played it. [laughter]

MM: Alright.

MI: Yeah, I have a group of friends that meet once a month, uh, every month, on a Saturday. We get together at about noon and we play until about 10 p.m. There’s usually some wine, maybe a little scotch every now and then. It’s really fun, definitely snacks that are really unhealthy for you, lots of laughs.

MM: Nice.

MI: Lots of good storytelling. It’s a, it’s a great group.

GT: I think that’s the best part of roleplaying games, isn’t it? It’s the friendship.

MI: Oh, I thought you were going to say snacks.

[laughter]

GT: Oh, okay.

MI: I mean I would agree.

GT: And the wine.

MM: You can’t have a guy like Hunk as your caterer at every Dungeons and Dragons night, right?

MI: No, you can’t.

[laughter]

MM: So you would love to do Monsters and Mana comics.

MI: I’m being semi-serious. I mean I just love that episode so much and I had so much fun with it, but you know, it did--a lot of its magic was that it was just kind of a one-time adventure, but, uh, I do truly just love that kind of, like, whimsical fantasy element. I thought that was a lot of fun.

MM: Well, the funny thing is that the “Monsters and Mana” episode was one of the few episodes that tied in with the comics.

MI: Right. Yeah.

MM: Because they mentioned the Yalexian pearl.

MI: Right, yeah.

MM: Mm-hm.

MI: You’re, uh, you pay attention.

GT: Yeah! There were a lot of terms that, uh, were expanded upon in the comics, that one being probably the most prominent, but uh, one thing that surprised me a bit in the comics, we had an issue that was told from Lance’s perspective where he is a D&D kind of, sort of sorcery hero. And he rescues the princess, there’s a dragon, the dragon is the princess--spoilers--and, and it’s just--it’s really cool, but one thing that-that kind of surprised me after “Monsters and Mana” is in that episode, Lance acts like he wants nothing to do with th-the game at first, and in the comic world he’s thinking in those terms. So is Lance a closet nerd?

MI: I think he is, and the thi--well, just to--just to make a quick joke, usually you say “spoilers” first, not-not after. [laughter]

GT: Well, yeah, I spoiled the spoiler.

[laughter]

MI: Oh, I’m just messin’ around. But Lance, I mean the reason he’s trying to act like he doesn’t like fantasy is because he wants to seem cool in front of Allura, and then she’s like, “This sounds fun!” and he’s like, “Oh, okay.”

GT: [laughter] Oh, yeah, that’s cool.

MI: And I mean, you know, he’s always playing that video game and he’s got, like, a--a, you know, at the end, he sticks around to play another game. So...

GT: Oh yeah. Yeah, he does.

MM: In that comic, it says, th-the narrator says, “With Lance’s unerring nose for adventure-finding and quest-detection, the lions quickly reached the most likely spot on the planet Krell for a princess rescue.” And of course they chose a picture of a tall tower.

MI: Mm-hm.

MM: Of course, that’s the perfect place for a princess rescue.

GT: Sure!

MM: This particular princess was a little unusual of sorts, wasn’t it?

MI: Yes.

GT: Yeah, I think I already spoiled that, unfortunately.

[laughter]

MI: Whiffed on that one, huh, little button. Yeah, that was, you know in the first two iss--first two books, and then I wrote them together, we broke all the stories together, but we each took a different issue. We were both a lead on a different issue, and that was an issue he took the lead on and I didn’t know that he was gonna do all that Lance narrating stuff, that was totally him, and I remember reading it and laughing and like, “You are a genius, sir.”

[laughter]

MI: I was like, “Wow, man, he--he is awesome.”

GT: Yeah, I-I think what I really like about--one of the things I really like about the comics is that they, you know--Voltron at its core tends to be sort of an action/adventure sort of property, you know, with sci-fi/fantasy elements and all that, but one thing that I really liked is that a lot of the comics were, you know, had unique twists that made them not just, you know, fighting. There were puzzles to solve, there was “Wow, you know, this thing isn’t really a monster. It’s not trying to… It’s just--it’s just hungry, let’s feed it.” Um, you know, there were all these, these twists that make it not just “giant robot punches the crap out of a giant monster”, you know? And at the same, Voltron has formed in almost every single comic which is also cool, so--

MI: Awesome, yeah.

GT: --so was that a conscious effort on your part and Tim’s part for the first two volumes, to shake things up a bit and make them a little different from the show?

MI: Absolutely. And the--and the thing is, though o-our belief in that is-is you watch a show and a giant robot beats the crap out of a giant monster, that’s awesome. But in a comic book, it might not be as fulfilling we thought. We thought, “You know, this is a little more cerebral” because, like, you’re not gonna get to actually see the-the, all the in-between moments, you know. You can get key images of the fighting, but we thought, like, this needs to ha--we need to, like--we need to, like, make this its own kind of fun thing. Not that it isn’t the show, I thought there were lots of awesome elements like that, but you know, the other thing is in the show, it’s--into its--this is me giving a--I just love this about the show--i-it was so… plotty and it wasn’t like “every episode is fighting a monster”, but then--but, like, Tim and I, we love monster-fighting, so we were like, ”How do we get as much of that in without it feeling like every issue is just solved by punching” like you said. So, we put a lot of thought into ways of making that try and be the case.

GT: Well, I love that juxtaposition where the robot is around all the time, I mean in all, like I think thirteen out of fifteen issues--I counted--and I just kept thinking, “Wow, this is so cool, how many times does this happen?” And so you have that, and yes you have the very awesome-looking variety of giant creatures which is really cool, I mean as an old school fan the more the merrier, and yet it’s not repetitive, it’s not formulaic, it’s not just punch, kick, sword, et cetera. There is still a lot of humans, humanities and problem-solving a-and there are enough plot twists to keep it more than robot-on-creature repetitiveness, and so I really enjoyed that juxtaposition.

MI: I think, by the way, if DreamWorks ever makes another Voltron show, they should make it Voltron: Punch, Kick, Sword, Etc.

MM: Ooh.

[laughter]

GT: You heard it here, listeners.

[laughter]

MM: Alright, so going back to what you were saying, Greg, then sometimes those monsters are somebody’s mother or somebody’s baby.

GT: Mm-hm!

MM: And sometimes Voltron ends up getting into a fight with a monster they probably shouldn’t have.

GT: Yeah.

MI: Yeah.

GT: And that’s also cool. And like, at the end of the very first issu--er was it… yeah, the very first issue, I think--they went to planet Krell and uh, defeated this monster and then these little creatures come out and say, “You’ve killed our guardian”. [laughs]

MM: Yeah.

GT: “Huh?!”

MM: “Huh?”

GT: Yeah.

MI: Hm-hm. [laughs]

GT: Yeah, i-it’s just neat. I-I like the-the juxtaposition there. I-I’m using the word “juxtaposition” it’s a new drinking game, everyone. [laughs] But on the subject of the planet Krell, I’m an old-school sci-fi fan as well and Forbidden Planet is one of my favorite films. Was Krell a deliberate tip of the hat to that film or was it just happenstance?

MI: We--please don’t pitchfork me--I have never seen that movie.

GT: No problem.

MI: Now, Tim may have and that may have been, like, a deliberate nod toward that from him.

GT: Okay.

MI: I don’t-I don’t know, though. Sorry. That may not have been satisfying

GT: Yeah, no problem. That’s perfectly satisfying. It’s the right answer. It’s your answer, so [laughs].

MM: So was there anything specifically that you used as a reference in any of these three volumes?

MI: I’m sure there was, it was just so hard to remember. You know, like, I know that we definitely had a section where every--for every issue we would either go out and ha--or for every arc we’d either go out and have drinks or go get, like, go for, like, a meeting session and we would just, like, talk for, like, a long time about, like, you know, sci-fi things we loved or fantasy things we loved. You know, the other thing we have on that, in there, that is--I should mention that I think is just so great--is, like, many elements that we used were things that we had ideas for the show that it was just like, “You know, we’re never gonna get to fit it in there ‘cuz it’s just not gonna, like, fit with all the stuff going on”. So, you know, like, Josh, May, all the writers who contributed on Voltron, we would always have these powwows and we would talk about, like, different elements that could be in the show, and there would be, like, notecards on the wall that would be, like, “planet cracks open--monster”, that was just, like, a notecard sitting on the wall forever. And it was like, “when are we gonna use that?” And it’s like, “I don’t know if we’re ever gonna get around to using that,” so, like, there was all these ideas that had been kind of, you know, in the aether that we then just say, “Hey, you know, we’re never gonna use these for the show, maybe we put ‘em in the comic book.”

MM: Right.

GT: Yeah, I love that idea where the planet was basically an egg. It was cool.

MI: I think that was Josh Hamilton’s idea.

GT: Oh, neat.

MI: He gets no credit and no money, mua-ha-ha-ha.

[laughter]

GT: Your evil plan worked again. [laughs]

MI: No, we asked him. We asked, “Can we take that card down and put it in the comic?” and he was like, “Yeah!” [laughs]

MM: And one of the cool things is in-in the comics, Pidge actually gets to say “Form Voltron”.

MI: Yeah!

MM: And that doesn’t happen in the show.

MI: Does it never happen in the show?

MM: I’d never heard Pidge say, “Form Voltron”.

MI: Oh, wow.

GT: I’ll take your word for it, but yeah, that does sound like something that would not have been said very often. But yeah, very cool.

MI: Now I’m trying to think does anyone that ever say it besides Keith and Shiro, and Allura? Does Lance ever say it, or Hunk?

MM: I don’t think Lance or Hunk have ever done it.

GT: Ooh. Listeners, if you remember any of these things, and we’re not remembering, please let us know.

[laughter]

MM: But that first volume of comics was actually made into motion comics, too.

MI: Yeah! Wasn’t that cool?

MM: That was awesome.

GT: Yeah, how did that--how did that happen? How did you guys find out about that? Were you involved in-in planning that, or was that surpris--a surprise to you guys?

MI: It was a semi-surprise. We were told they were gonna do it, a--uh, you know, later on, and the way we were kind of told was they put on the recording schedule, like, “Oh, we’re gonna get the actors from the show to come in an-and do that.” So it was like, “Oh, cool, that’s really exciting. Like, that’ll be fun.”

GT: Yeah.

MI: And I thought those things turned out really cool.

MM: Yeah, so cool.

GT: Yeah, it gave it a whole different dimension, didn’t it?

MM: Yes.

MI: Yeah.

MM: It was so cool in fact, that many people had asked are we gonna do this with the other volumes as well?

MI: Yeah, that would’ve been fun. There was always, like, um, strategies, and, like, a lot of the stuff we did on the side was to help promote the show, you know?

GT: Yeah.

MM: Mm-hm.

MI: And, you know, enrich brand experience. And so it-it’s not a hundred percent correct, but, you know, like, in a way the--probably shouldn’t say this ‘cuz it’s gonna come out wrong--but, it’s like the comic books were almost like, in a way, like, a form of advertising and engagement. But the--

GT: Well, sure.

MI: --I know that’s not a perfect analogy because it’s, like, you know, people pay for those, but then with the motion comics that was another way to, like, keep fans engaged, you know, because we’re not always going to have new Voltron content coming out, so it was a way to be like, “Yeah, remember? Don’t forget about us, and don’t forget that, like, the show’s gonna come back in a few months.” And so by the time all that stuff had gotten done, I think the show was probably rounding a corner and, you know, like, it wouldn’t have made sense to do that, t-to invest that money, to give away basically a product that was just gonna be advertisement for a show that was, that was, you know, ending.

GT: Yeah, that makes sense.

MI: If that makes any sense.

GT: Yeah that makes perfect sense. Yeah, absolutely.

MI: DreamWorks is very smart, and they did a really awesome job, I thought, you know, getting the word out to the fans and helping us, like, helping us find ways to engage in cool, different, unique ways, so, that was like, you know, that was like a surprise. It was an awesome surprise.

GT: Yeah, it was great. A-and there have been Voltron motion comics in the past. Several years ago, I-I’m trying to remember the publisher now, but there were two different animated comics there--that were adaptations from prior, um, Voltron iterations. Not from a show directly, but kind of a-a more serious bend on the original show.

MM: You’re talking about Devil’s Due Publishing, right?

GT: I think so, yeah.

MM: The Revelations comic?

GT: I think so, there were a couple different, uh, motion comics that came out, and I must tell you, I had a really hard time getting through them when I finally got around to watching them in the last few years. And it’s nothing about the comic, it’s just that the adaptation didn’t have the same quality in terms of dynamic motion. It was much more static. The music was more stock-sounding rather than using the composers from the show, or any show, I mean just felt stock, et cetera. And so the Legendary Defender stuff was a definite cut above what had been made before, and I really think it kind of breathed a different sense of life into the comic story a-and was very exciting in its own way.

MI: Th-thank you, that’s really cool. I mean, you know, when you get, like, Rhys Darby or Jeremy Shada or Bex, er, they’re--you know, Josh, like, they’re all amazing, it’s like--to have them lend themselves to that, it’s just like--it definitely elevates it, too, you know. That was so great.

MM: Yeah, and Pidge in volume one where she establishes that she has this dossier that she’s been building, assessing the strengths and vulnerabilities of her fellow Paladins, that was a really interesting character moment for her.

MI: Yeah, and, uh, I will say--okay, you were looking for things where I got inspiration from. Hopefully I don’t get in trouble for admitting this, but to me, I’ve always thought of Pidge as kind of the “World’s Greatest Detective”, she’s kind of--

MM: Like Batman!

MI: --like a Sherlock Holmes or like Batman, yes. And uh, and Batman, I think at some point, had a dossier on the Justice League, and that was, like, a storyline.

MM: Oh, yeah.

MI: And so, I was like, “You know, that’s just--that rings true.” Like, that’s something that Pidge would do, you know? So… I don’t wanna say “ripped off”, but homaged. [laughs]

GT: Yeah, a-and that’s cool. I really enjoyed it. And then in a later volume--was it volume three? They’re starting to blend together over just two evenings--there was the plot where she wanted to turn o--that was in volume three!--turn off the shield in the SPRAWL, the Galra shield, and she had her memories temporarily wiped. So that was another interesting twist on something you wouldn’t expect. Someone who was as intelligent as she is and the world’s greatest detective, having to figure out not only what to do, who her allies are, but uh, you know, all this while not even knowing who the heck she is.

MI: I had that idea, and I thought it was a really, really cool idea, and then I was terrified about how to pull that off. I was like… it’s… and I hope I did, I still am like, am like, “Is anyone going to understand what’s happening?” Like, “Is this cool?”

MM: Why is she saying “who am I?”

[laughter]

MI: And I was like, “Oh, this could be very… I hope it works!” And so… I’m glad to hear you liked it. That means a lot.

GT: Yeah, it was uber fun. And it also touched on, uh, something she said back in season 1 where Allura is trying to get Pidge to tell her, uh, the secret that Pidge is really a girl, and instead, you know, she says, “I like peanuts, don’t like peanut butter” or whatever that was, and then she says, “I sweat a lot.” [laughs] And in this issue, she sweats off half of her clues that she had written on her arms.

[laughter]

MM: Yep.

MI: Ey, you remembered! Cool! Yeah!

GT: Yeah! You guys did a great job with the continuity. Now obviously, having worked on the show, it was, you know, still fresh on the brain there, but, uh, to work in those references and the character dialogue i-is so spot-on, too. I could hear the actors, you know, reading the dialogue for every single one of the issues, it was really neat.

MM: So did you ever think what it would be like if maybe the show had a longer run, you know, than the two and a half years it was on, and that you would’ve been able to actually take one of these comic issues that you had written, and adapt it back into an episode into the show if you still had those things rolling together like they were?

MI: Yeah, totally. Anytime you get to see stuff be, like, read by actors is fun. [laughs]

MM: Yeah. So you’re taking what was done with the motion comics and you’re taking it to the next level and you’re not only adding motion and voice and sound and all that kind of stuff to it, but the actual animation.

MI: Yeah, that’d be cool.

GT: It would. And so I gotta ask in the, uh, in volume two whose idea was it for Alfor to be a nud? [laughs]

MI: Oh man, that had to be Tim.

[laughter]

GT: Where he takes the, uh, shaman or the healer of the--and I don’t know how to pronounce this word--Davdibal, Davdibaw?

MM: It looks like “Davdabhau”.

GT: Yeah.

MI: I’m gonna go with “Davdabhau”.

GT: Alright.

MI: [laughs]

GT: But the--he takes, you know, he goes into this lab, specimen lab, where Alfor had been keeping all these things he’d gathered over the-the years, and he, uh, I just love how he just calls Alfor basically a nerd, which is hilarious. I mean, Alfor, especially later, you see him as this gallant warrior, the original Paladin, and nah, he’s a nerd.

[laughter]

MM: That was when he picked up the Nomo virus, right?

GT: Uh, yes, yes.

MM: So, another thing that kinda tied into the show, you know, Coran had developed the slipperies on the show. But in the comic he develops the Nomo virus, and it actually ends up saving them in the end.

MI: Uh-huh. [laughs]

GT: Well, the slipperies had, too, right?

MM: Yeah.

MI: Y-yeah.

MM: Yeah.

MI: Yeah, he was getting around.

GT: Yeah.

MI: Moving at an incredible pace.

GT: [laughs] And he lubed up the, uh, teludav lenses or whatever. [laughs]

MI: Yeah.

GT: Yeah, that was funny.

MI: We, uh, loved that slipperies so much, which was a Josh Hamilton episode, I believe, and that was just so funny. We wanted to, you know, sort of repeat that kind of--that kind of tone again.

GT: Yeah, and I-I gotta ask. In volume three, we see some of the Coalition ships, um, and we see on one of them Matt Holt and Captain Olia, and then there’s this Unilu who we see throughout the TV show. Uh, I think it’s a female Unilu, she seemingly only has one eye, a bandana or a heads--like an orange colo-colored, sort of head wrapping--and eventually in the show we see her as a bridge crew member on the Atlas. Does that character have a name? Does anybody behind the scenes have a name for that character? I always thought that that there was a very interesting look. I was very curious about that character.

MI: I know the character does, um, I’m struggling to remember the name, though. Oh man. I would have to look that up for you. I’m sure there’s a name, and I’m sure we had one, but I’d have to look through, you know. One thing that happens--alright, so I don’t work for, uh, DreamWorks anymore, and when I left, I had a DreamWorks email address and like a DreamWorks, uh, like, storage thing, and that’s where all of the scripts I wrote were, and now I’m always like, “Oh, well, let’s look that up and see where that was!” and it’s like, “Oh, I don’t have this anymore.” [laughs]

GT: Oh, bummer!

MI: I’m sure if I were to go, I’m sure someone there would be nice enough to go through with me and find them again and… but it would definitely be troubling.

GT: Yeah.

MI: And it’s on the tip of my tongue, I know there’s a name.

GT: Yeah, I was just curious. I-I-I remember, uh, Lauren Montgomery’s been very kind enough to answer some of the-some of those kind of questions. It’s just--it helps build out that universe just a little more. So, just something I just noticed in one of the panels, and I thought, “Oh, I love that character, even though I know nothing about her.”

MI: Yeah, Lauren would know for sure, I believe L--that was, like, one of Lauren’s favorites. I could be wrong--

GT: Oh, okay.

MI: --you know, the other thing is, it’s been, like, two or three years since I worked on Voltron, so it’s like, you know, the memories get a little hazy over time.

GT: Oh yeah. And so how would you compare your creative freedom in writing one of these comics versus an episode? I mean, were the comics--because they have to be kind of sandwiched between episodes--were they more constrained as a result or were they less constrained because they didn’t necessarily have to fit the overall story arc of the show? How would you compare and contrast that?

MI: We--it-it’s funny, because that constraint of fitting inside of, like, continuity, it’s very similar to when you write an episode to the show anyway because we have it so plotted out it’s like, you know, you know your beginning, you know your end, the whole team works on what it--what the journey’s gonna be like to get between those spots. So that’s, like, that’s kinda similar. Uh, I would actually say there are very, very comparable in terms of the process because, you know, we still had to have a lot of people sign off on it, it was a lot of, like, there’s a lot of collaboration. I had, uh, you know, Tim and I worked on it together, just like on the show, and we even had Josh, I believe, read versions of things. And, uh, it just--it-it felt very seamless as a transition. Now I will say that writing comic books was something Tim and I had never done, so in terms of, like, the formatting and thinking visually, that was totally different and I c--and it was, and it was very challenging. Like, when I write a script, I can see it in my head clearly and if I know what I’m going for, it kinda just flows out a lot of times. Sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes it’s very difficult, but it’s like, you know, I hear Pidge’s voice and so I can, like, you know, Tab, P, Enter, line, Enter, move on. Like I know how to, like, just, like-like, fly through a script. But with, uh--and then, you know read it and rewrite it a bunch of times, et cetera. But with the comic, it’s like, so hard to think, like, “Okay, a photo needs to describe everything, and I have to describe it all in detail, and, like, and then--” It was just so--such a different mental muscle that I had to get used to. And I will say, like, honestly, like, when I went back and read the comics, like, Tim and I, when we read the first comic and we were very proud of them, and Lion Forge was so awesome to work with and so helpful. But even after all of that I was still like, “You know, there’s a few things that if I-if I’d really known how this was gonna look, might have written it differently so it might’ve been a little clearer” you know? Or, like, a visual joke could’ve planted, because it was a totally new process to me.

GT: Yeah.

MI: I mean, I still feel very much like a novice in that regard.

GT: Yeah, you were talking about having to describe things visually, with individual panels and all that. Whose-whose idea--since it was introduced in volume one but followed up in volume three, whose idea was it to depict Pidge’s computer-like thought processes as sort of, like, a-a command prompt on the-on the panel?

MI: Yeah, I think that was actually me because I read Tim’s, uh, Lance issue, and I thought and I thought that was so awesome, and I was like, “Oh I’m ripping him off.”

[laughter]

MI: And I was like, “Oh, if Lance is gonna look like that,” hers has to look kinda… it has to be Pidge and I was thinking, you know, Pidge is sort of, like, a techie, and whenever I think “techie” I immediately go to The Matrix, so I ripped off Tim and The Matrix.

MM: And when you have your characters wearing specific outfits, like in the second volume Pilgrimage, Coran gets to go back and wear that, uh, fancy cape outfit--

MI: [laughs] Yeah he does.

MM: --that he wore when he was trying to get to ride Red Lion. So, do you say in the script that he has to be wearing that outfit?

MI: I believe we did call that one out specifically.

MM: Okay.

MI: Honestly, the comic books, one of the things that, you know, when you write a script you can kind of be a little more evocative sometimes. It depends on the situation, it’s always different. But overall you can be a little more, like, you don’t have to fill in all the blanks on things. But with a comic book, they prefer you do. You wanna know, like, the blocking, you wanna know, like, you know, where people are situated. You can-inside the script you can put, like, comp art that you wanna use so the artist has some, like, help because they’re basically gonna go draw--I mean, it--that same thing happens in animation in a way, somebody draws a picture of it. But in animation, there’s like, a whole team, like, you know, and meetings, and there are storyboard artists before it even gets animated. It’s all in motion. But like, with a comic, it is like, you are handing a script off to someone that you might not ever get to talk to, and then they have to, like, read it, and get a pretty clear idea, so the more detail you give the better. And as a very lazy person, that was hard for me.

[laughter]

MM: So you didn’t get to really collaborate with digital art chefs on this?

MI: Not really. I mean, I never got to talk to any of the artists. I mean, I’ve met some people who’ve worked on the comics at cons, just it’s like, you know, and it’s always awesome to see them, it’s like “Yay! You did such an awesome job!” and they’re like, “Aw, thanks!” It’s like, yeah--but yeah, it’s like--they’re always sweet moments, but in terms of the actual collaboration, it was more like we turned in a script and then one day we got to see the comic. Which is, you know, that’s how it is. I know, I mean there’s more to it than that, I’m making it seem… [laughs]

MM: Uh-huh.

MI: But it-but it is, like, you know, we didn’t get to, uh, to talk or-or communicate really directly with the artists.

MM: Okay.

MI: Which is, you know, that’s-that’s not unheard of and-and, um, you know, in writing, you know, oftentimes you write a script and it’s just, like, you know, you get to go watch it on TV and see what happened with everyone else someday.

MM: I was gonna say, that happens with some other professionals, like sometimes the voice actors, they do their thing, and if they didn’t have to do an ADR session on something, they wouldn’t know what was going on, and they find out something happens to their character through--for the first time watching it when everybody else watches it.

MI: Mm-hm. And crea-creating a TV show is such a collaborative effort, and it has got so many moving pieces, and it-so, you know, there can be something that’s changed in boards, changed in, like, so many different aspects of the show where even in ADR it’s like, it’s still shot the same but the dialogue has changed, and that dialogue changes the tenor of everything. And so those moments, like, like the show is always an evolving process, and, like, luckily on Voltron, like, you know, like, I felt like every-every step of the process just got better and better. It was such a great team to be a part of.

MM: So I gotta ask you, uh, we had mentioned at the top when we introduced you that you had done some work with Fast and the Furious and you have left that since then and you’re now working on a top-secret project for Netflix. Has your position changed at all?

MI: I have, um, I have gotten a title bump from that. That’s one of the reasons I, uh, de-decided to-to take a new job, um, and so yeah. [laughs]

GT: Well, good for you. Congratulations! That’s great.

MM: Yes, congratulations on your promotion!

MI: Thank you, thank you. It was fun working on Fast, that was a great scene, and, uh, that show is gonna be so awesome. [laughs]

MM: And that comes out soon, right?

MI: No, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say what the release date is or not. I don’t even know if I know the release date for sure, I ha-ha-I have something in my head, but I could be wrong about it. I know a teaser recently was released and, uh, it’s like, woo yeah.

MM: Right. Yeah, that was a pretty cool teaser.

MI: Mm-hm. I don’t know if you guys know this, but Tim is, uh, the showrunner of that.

MM: Yes! Yes he is.

GT: Very cool.

MI: Yeah.

MM: We do know that. [laughs] So, if you had had the chance on this Voltron story that you had written, you know, in volume three--Absolution, right?

MI: Mm-hm.

MM: At the end, Allura basically says that, you know, the universe is safer because the information Lotor provided us, “It seems we might be able to trust him. It’s time to use even more of his information and finally put an end to the Galra Empire.”

MI: Mm-hm.

MM: So, if you had had a chance to go to a next issue right after that, do you think it would’ve been something related to something that was going on in the show? Or a totally different storyline after that?

MI: Well, my thinking was the next thing that happens after. Maybe not the very very next thing, but when they go to that Glara facility in the next episode of the show.

GT: That’s where they were flying around in those tunnels underneath the…

MI: Yeah, with the lava.

GT: Yeah, I know which one you’re talking about.

MI: “The Prisoner”. Yes. So, my plan was maybe there were a few extra missions that would’ve happened, but the next episode that that would link up with would be “The Prisoner” and when they’re on that mission to go in the Galra facility, that’s information from Lotor that they’re using again.

MM: Right, right. That was the first thing that they learned that they could trust him, because it worked out exactly the way he said it would.

MI: Mm-hm.

GT: That was really nice. I think that that one tied in most directly with the plot probably of all three of the volumes, because we see something that actually motivates Allura to have a change of heart.

MI: Yeah. I hope it worked.

GT: Yeah! It totally did. I think the comics a-are so fun in adding some side stories to the overarching plot without, uh, taking anything away from it. I think the-the generally standalone approach with the tips of the hat to what’s going on in the main plot are-are a really nice compromise between, you know, ignoring what’s going on, of course, with the show, which would’ve been kind of hard to do, and uh, getting way too deeply connected to it so that someone who had only read the comic wouldn’t know what was going on, right?

MI: Aw, thanks. I can’t remember if the-if we pulled it off as well--er, one of the intentions we had in the second comic was, um, the second volume comics, was that the castleship is, uh, damaged. So that’s, like, the next episode was going to be, uh, “Green the Cube”, which starts with them out there trying to fix things on it. And so--

GT: Ooh.

MM: Oh, yeah.

MI: --the idea was the castleship in the-the midst of all that action. That’s why they were out there repairing it when the-the uh--the spore with the hidden information arrives.

MM: Cool.

GT: Very nice, love it.

MM: And I-I did notice that there was an ongoing theme with the aliens in the comics. They were very animal-like.

MI: Yeah! We’re always looking for, like, inspiration in nature and stuff like that. One thing we did on the, uh, on the show, or one thing that I did on the show that I always liked, was I had these, like, D&D monster manuals in my office from all the different var--uh--versions of Dungeons and Dragons. And I would just, like, pull them out when I was kind of, like, bored or thinking about things, and I would just look at weird monsters in there and think, like, you know, “What if this monster were in space? What would that look like?” And, you know, it didn’t always evolve from that, but sometimes that could start the, like, a conversation where maybe it was like, we would come to, like, a cool new unique monster from that.

MM: That is pretty cool.

GT: Yeah. Marc had mentioned that one of the giant creatures that, uh, that was encountered was a baby. A gigantic, gravity-producing baby with a much larger mother. And it--was that inspired by anything in particular, or was that just… awesomeness? [laughs]

MI: There might’ve been one, but I just don’t remember. I do think that--you know, one of the things that me and Tim talked about many times was, like, just ‘cuz we have this, like, scale where we think things are big to us but if you’re a big thing, they might not seem that big to other big things, you know, and that was something we always wanted to play with. We always, like, thought that was a fun concept. And another thing that I always just like--was thinking about was, like, you know, the Paladins, you know, if you’re a human being, a hundred years is a very, very long time, but if you’re a creature that lives for a thousand years, that’s not as long to you. You’re a creature that lives for a million years, a hundred years is like a blink of an eye, you know?

GT: Oh, yeah.

MI: Zarkon, like, he’s been conquering for ten thousand years or whatever, you know, it’s like--so somebody who’s been around for a million years, that’s like, “Yeah, that new kid on the block, Zarkon.” [laughs]

GT: Yeah, that’s a good point, a-and I think Kythylian Mu from volume one--that character that Coran had known and pretended as though Coran owed all that gambling debt to--he had been around for thousands of years, too, which was really cool.

MI: Right. Yeah.

MM: There’s not a good chance of running into somebody that you owe a debt to ten thousand years later where they can actually add the interest to your debt.

MI: No, that would be very, very expensive.

MM: So now you owe him a Yalexian pearl.

MI: Yeah, and he’s gonna get it.

GT: So one of my favorite creatures that you guys came up with was, uh, Gantomor, the ancient Davdabhau--I’m trying to get that pronunciation--who protected the sacred grounds and was-and challenged Keith in the, uh, training deck of the Castle of Lions, and then challenged Voltron, and then challenged Coran’s sneeze.

[laughter]

GT: And the-the idea that this creature could transform itself to match its opponent was a really cool thing, was-was that inspired by anything in particular, or was it j-just… where did this come from?

MI: I don’t remember. I think that that was based on just weird conversations Tim and I would have about, you know, like, uh, the idea of like, what would be, like, a fun thing to fight? And it’s, you know, that’s kind of like a, I feel like a fantasy or sci-fi trope of, like, you know, there’s the thing that can match your power, so, like, having to beat the thing that can beat you. I think we even kind of have that, well, sort of, to a degree, in the ep-in the issue where Pidge has to fight her friends, you know, and it’s always like, “How do you beat these scenarios?” So we would try and lock ourselves creatively into a corner and then try and figure out if there was any way we could solve it.

GT: Yeah, that’s really cool.

MM: Plus that scene, okay, y-you have to suspend yo-your thoughts about, you know, can people survive in space for a little while because Coran comes flying in on a kotka, right? One of these huge things with wings and he--[laughs]--he’s wearing that uniform that we had mentioned earlier, but it’s definitely not a space suit, per se, and of course he’s got this virus that he-he needs to, like, sneeze on-on this monster in order to expose him to the virus.

MI: Mm-hm.

MM: So, we’re sort of like, “Okay, Coran’s going through space with no-no spacesuit on, okay. I’m okay with that.”

MI: He’s also, you know, he’s an Altean. They’re pretty strong creatures.

MM: Yeah. [laughs]

GT: I was about to ask you that. Is-is his ability to breathe, sneeze, and talk in the vacuum of space an ability that’s unique to Coran or or is this something that a-all Alteans have?

MI: I am not--I don’t have high enough rank to answer that question.

[laughter]

MI: I mean, I-I think that there’s a little bit of maybe just, you know, whimsical magic happening there.

[laughter]

GT: There’s nothing wrong with that. I was just asking. [laughs]

MI: Tardigrades can move in space. The little water bears, you know what I’m talking about?

MM: Yeah.

MI: The inspirations for the, uh, “Ark of Taujeer”.

MM: The Taujeerians!

MI: Yeah, uh, the tardigrades.

MM: Cool.

MI: The water bears. I don’t know if you’ve ever looked at those things, but th-they’re really weird-looking, but they can live in space.

GT: Yeah. And uh, yeah, the Alteans are great explorers, Allura said so herself, so, uh, talking in space in undoubtedly a very, very uni-unique gift to have.

MI: I don’t know if we’ve ever talked about this before, but one thing that I always thought was funny that is, um, early in the show they fight that, uh, training droid.

GT: Yeah.

MI: And Allura says, “This is fit for an Altean child!”

GT: Oh, yeah.

MI: “This is fit for an Altean child.” And it seems like she’s making a dig at them, but then you find out later she’s super strong. [laughs] And it’s like, “Oh! Maybe that was set for an Altean child.”

GT: Yeah, that’s a good point.

MM: That is a good point. Maybe she wasn’t digging them at the time.

[laughter]

MI: Well, maybe digging them, but digging them with facts.

MM: Yeah. GT: Yeah. Facts that they would not yet know, yeah.

MM: Back then we were questioning as to whether or not Allura was actually controlling that-that droid at the time,

MI: Oh, interesting.

MM: Yeah.

GT: The way they staged that where the droid just collapses and Allura is right behind it, it does-it does sort of, at first glance, y-you kind of think, “Hm, yeah. Was she manipulating that thing or did she just happen to be standing there?” [laughs]

MM: We kind of thought she was the one fighting them, almost.

MI: Maybe she was.

[laughter]

MM:I loved it when they went out in the lions for the first time a-and she-she’s, like, throwing all the Castle at them, you know, like, all th-the weapons that the Castle can-can shoot. She’s firing them.

MI: She’s being so positive.

[laughter]

GT: S-so now that you have, uh, working with Tim and then of course working solo, fifteen comic books under your belt, have you thought any more about writing comics for any other property or maybe going independent? What-what are your thoughts about that medium?

MI: I would love to write more comics some day, and I-and I really want to, but right now I’m a little busy and I’m a little stretched thin. And I also, it just has to be the right one, but I would love to do it again. It’s a really fun experience, especially, like, you know, the company Lion Forge was so great and they were so great to work with, everyone over there is so nice. It’s a really positive company and so, like, maybe if-if I could find something with them someday tha-that that could be really fun, but, you know.

MM: Did you hear about their merger with Oni Press?

MI: Oh! No, I didn’t.

MM: Yeah.

MI: When did that happen?

MM: That was just recently.

MI: Oh.

MM: Apparently they had been either acquired or merged with Oni Press.

MI: Huh. Cool.

MM: Yeah.

MI: Well, I hope, that just makes them even more powerful and awesome.

MM: Yeah.

GT: [laughs] These comics, re-reading them was just a blast. I remember enjoying each of the volumes as they came out and, uh, it was just a lot of fun to revisit them. One--when I first read the first two volumes, I did them through, you know, print, but when volume three came out, I tried at first to buy an e-comic, that was my first ever experience with that, and I don’t know that I--maybe I’m too old-school--but I really, I went ahead and bought the print versions later a-and re-read them that way. Are you into e-comics at all, or do you prefer paper, or… what are your thoughts on all that?

MI: I go back and forth. I-I don’t know if you did the guided comic experience, but if you have an iPad and you do the guided comic experience where, like, it moves between panels and it’s curated really well--

MM: Yeah.

MI: --that can be such an awesome way to experience a comic. Like, I use Comixology, I love it, and I have don-I have done that before, but there’s just nothing that beats going into a comic book shop, talking with the guy that works there, having the paper comic, going home, reading it. I said guy, it could be, you know, any--girl as well, I know for a long time I used to go to Meltdown Comics. There was a really sweet lady that worked there tha-that gave just awesome recommendations. She recommended the comic book Two to me, which I loved, then you go home, you read it, you come back and you’re like, “Thank you for the recommendation”. And it’s just, you know, it’s such a great experience, like, I, I-I don’t know, I could never completely give that up. But, that being said, as I said, there can be some really fun motion comics to read, too.

MM: Yeah, I have a subscription to the DC Universe and they have a comic reader in that that you can watch on TV.

GT: Really?

MM: Oh, yeah. It’s great, and it’s, like, the guided comic, like you said, it goes from panel to panel. You can do it either way, you can do the guided or you can do the regular where you see the whole page at a time.

GT: That’s amazing.

MM: Yeah.

MI: That is awesome. I didn’t know about that.

MM: And they’ve got the whole library of, like, twenty thousand DC comics that are in there.

MI: Wow.

GT: Huh.

MI: Wow. You know, I, at first, was so hesitant to use digital comics, and I was like, “You know, I’m old-school” and I had tried that guided comic experience, and for whatever reason, whatever comic I use, I didn’t really like it as much. I was like, “No, no, no, you should have the page,” you know? And then later on I had a friend tell me, like, “No, no, there are some really cool ones out there,” and I was like, “Okay,” and he recommended one to me--now I can’t even remember--but I went through and did it again and was like, “Oh, oh! This is awesome! Okay.”

MM: Yeah.

GT: That’s cool.

MM: That’s pretty cool.

GT: I wonder if it depends on--I mean, di-di--I wonder if they have to manually stage each of those comics, it’s guided so that it guides you appropriately, you know? In other words, is there a human being involved in taking a comic that’s completed and making that experience the best that it can be, or is it something they can fully automate? In which case, you know, one person might do a better job giving you that guided experience versus another, you know?

MM: Yeah.

MI: There has to be a human being that does it, you know, because it moves so oftentimes it moves from, like, like face to face with speech bubble to other face. And sometimes it, like, you know, i-into a-and then, like, of--it lets the panel build sometimes in certain ways, and sometimes it gives you the whole panel because it, like, you want all this information at once and you don’t want to overmove the, the i-image around, you know. A-and then sometimes, like, you want that splash page when that comic tends to be, like, “Woah!” you know? Like, it’s--there’s no way to-I think that could happen without someone, like, being involved in that.

MM: Right, and then sometimes there’s a lot of information in that speech bubble that takes a while to read, and then other times it’s just, like, one word, and sometimes th-that word is like a shout or something like that and it’s written in big letters and you wanna emphasize it by bringing it into the panel real quick.

MI: Yeah.

MM: You know, or something like that.

MI: It’s funny, it’s not--it’s just so interesting to me how there’s always so many people involved in creative endeavors, like, you know, if you wanna--when you’re watching a TV show, the amount of people that were involved in that, that worked so hard on that, it’s truly impressive to me. I mean that’s one of the reasons why at the end there’s all those credits, you know?

MM: Mm-hm.

MI: But similarly in comic, you know, there’s artists that work on it, there’s inkers, there’s colorists, sometimes that’s all the same person, sometimes not, you know, there’s letterers, there’s, like, it’s--and then, you know, for even to the level of, like, there’s probably somebody that helps curate that motion comic experience. It’s very cool, I think, to, you know. There’s a-there’s a--as a writer, there’s always a part of me that thinks, like, “You know, one of these days I’m gonna write a novel and it’ll be just, like, my thing, it’ll be my book.” And it’s like, yeah. Sometimes I think, yeah, that does sound really fun, but also, like, it’s really fun to work with other people. It’s really fun to see sometimes, like, you have an idea and it might come out different than you expected, but it be even better. It might have been plussed by someone else, you know?

GT: That’s a great point.

MM: The whole is better than the sum of the parts.

MI: Yes. Which, I mean is, I think, apropo when talking about Voltron.

GT: No doubt.

MM: Yes.

[laughter]

MM: We are always stronger together.

MI: Right.

MM: So, one thing I wanted to do before you leave, Mitch, is I wanted to thank you for all these years where you’ve been signing comics for us, an-and you and Tim and everything, and then providing these signed comics for prizes as, you know, for our listeners of the podcast, so I wanna-I wanna thank you for doing all that over the last few years.

MI: Oh, it’s been my pleasure. I should be thanking you. Thank you for all the support, you’re such a great person, you’re such a great fan. Both of you, I-I--it means a lot to me that you guys, you know, uh, like this stuff, you know. We work really hard on it, so when somebody appreciates it that means the world to me.

MM: Oh, yeah. It’s not hard to appreciate it all because you did such a good job.

MI: Aw.

GT: Absolutely.

MI: Keep going.

[laughter]

GT: Well, as soon as we learn about this top-secret project, a-and enjoy that and enjoy Fast and the Furious when it comes out, we will have more to say. Even more to say than we already have. [laughs]

MM: Right.

MI: Yay!

GT: [laughs]

MM: So, we will be watching your career with much interest.

MI: Thank you.

GT: Alright, Emperor Palpatine.

[laughter]

MM: We also look forward to the day when Monsters and Mana has its own comics line.

[laughter]

MI: You know, I-I’m not sure that’ll happen, but maybe, you know, as time goes on, I’ll find the time to do fanfiction for it or something. As long as DreamWorks doesn’t sue me. [laughs]

MM: Okay.

GT: Until then, keep the faith, right?

MI: Right. I can’t believe I got to do that episode at all, that was such a pleasure. So, you know, l-let’s focus on the good we have. [laughs]

MM: That’s right.

GT: That’s right.

MM: That’s right. Can--I can’t believe they paid me to do something that was so fun.

MI: I’m--that’s how I felt, I mean, I was like, every day, finish my stuff, then I got to sneak in little things that were, like, names of people that I play D&D with, their characters, and like, little inside jokes from, you know, people I played D&D with for ten years, so that was, like, tha--I mean, pretty much from the second I was told I got to write a D&D episode until now, whenever I think about it I have just a big smile. I’m really, really grateful for that.

MM: Nice.

GT: Yeah, so cool.

MM: Awesome. So thank you very much once again for joining us on Let’s Voltron, the Official Voltron Podcast.

MI: Thank you.

[mechanical lion roar]

[outro music: VLD theme]

MM: Well, I have to tell ya, I talked to Mitch Iverson so many times in the past few years, but i-it felt a little bit bittersweet this time, I think. Knowing that we might not get a chance to talk to him again without another Voltron thing.

GT: Yeah? I mean, I think the same is true for a lot of the guests that we’ve had on i-in recent months. You know, Voltron: Legendary Defender is done. I mean, it’s-it’s not dead as long as we remember it and enjoy it, continue to watch it, and share the stuff that we like with our friends and family and all that good stuff. It lives on just as the original show and other iterations have. But yeah, it is a little bittersweet, isn’t it?

MM: Yeah, but I mean there were so many great episodes in there, and of course we talked a lot about “Monsters and Mana” because it was one of Mitch’s favorites to write. You know, that’d be like “Space Mall”--

GT: “Crystal Venom”.

MM: --”Crystal Venom”, “Reunion”--

GT: “The Legend Begins.”

MM: Right. All these great episodes that we loved from the show and everything, they each had a writer and Mitch’s favorite was “Monsters and Mana” and I know there’s a lot of fans out there who had said, you know, we could just do a Monsters and Mana, like, type of show and we would love to see that.

GT: Yeah, a-and you know, people were saying the same thing about the Blade of Marmora, maybe some spinoff novels or tie-in novels or whatever. Yeah, I mean there’s so much richness and variety in the Voltron: Legendary Defender universe that yeah, I mean there’s so much potential. But, uh, I guess at this point a lot of that’s up in the hands of fans to maybe pick up with their own fanfiction and if they haven’t already written a lot of that crazy stuff.

MM: “I wanna be a Paladin again.”

GT: Ah, there you go. Yeah. A-and I recall y-you’re kind of fond of the Black Lion, right?

MM: Yeah. Yeah. Always bet on Black.

GT: Ye-yeah, I’ve always been fond of the Yellow fellow, as, uh, Hunk called it in Voltron Force. Yeah. Old Yellow. [laughs]

MM: I thought that was pretty funny that, uh, there was actually a line from the comic where Hunk mentions the fact that, “I-I don’t want to tell everybody out loud, but I may have wet myself,” and Lance says, “Well, you do fly the Yellow Lion.”

GT: [laughs] Yes, I do love that.

[laughter]

MM: And it reminded me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. “I’m so scared I soiled my armor!”

GT: [laughs] Yeah, I remember.

MM: And then later on, “I soiled my armor again!”

GT: [laughs]

MM: Yeah.

GT: Yeah. Interestingly, Lance in the comic, and, uh, of course, none of the characters in “Monsters and Mana”, none of them encountered the knights who say Ni!

[laguther]

MM: No. No. Hunk, though, he had a couple of the Davdabhau that had wanted to marry him.

GT: Yeah, he was a popular guy for a while there.

MM: And at one point, he actually says to them, “Well, I don’t think I can marry either one of you, and it’s mostly because, well, number one you haven’t met my mom. An-and there is this rock girl.”

GT: That was really interesting, wasn’t it? That he actually flat-out says it.

MM: Yeah. That was great.

GT: Yep. [sighs] I so love Hunk, I truly do. And apparently he had a pappy at some point named Herschel.

MM: That’s right! I was wondering where Herschel came from and I was thinking to myself, the only Herschel I can think of, there was a character from The Walking Dead that was named Herschel.

GT: Yes, I remember there--isn’t there an astronomer named Herschel, too?

MM: Yeah. I was trying to wonder where Herschel came from, but, I guess we could’ve asked Mitch, huh?

GT: Yeah, where the writers came up with it. Of course in the fiction, Hunk says it was, uh, one of his pappies from the past. A apparently departed pappy, but yeah! Yeah, there are so many more questions we could have asked Mitch, but there’s only so many, uh, only so many minutes we can do these podcasts and, uh, you know, maybe, maybe some things are best left as mysteries.

MM: Well, you know, we do have to give a proper review to these comics, right?

GT: Yeah, that’s true.

MM: So, why don’t we get together in our next episode and talk about these comics a little bit more in detail?

GT: Yeah. We’re gonna dive into all of them, aren’t we?

MM: Yeah, we are.

GT: Yeah. For our listeners who aren’t into the comics, don’t worry, there won’t be fifteen podcasts, one per comic. There won’t be three, one per volume. We’re gonna-we’re gonna cram ‘em all into one, and, uh, it’s going to be a lot of fun. Uh, you know, th-the comics are definitely worth checking out. I know that, uh, there’s some who, you know, who kind of dismissed them outright, but, uh, I hope that, uh, people will give them a look now. They really are fun. You can get them as e-comics on favorite places like Comixology, or you can still find them at, uh, favorite online vendors, or maybe even in some local comic shops.

MM: And you may still even find them on the Voltron store, or Amazon, or many other places that have comic books.

GT: Yep. Yep, yep, comics are fun, and so are the, uh, these Voltron ones, as well.

MM: So, we think we set it up really good with the Mitch interview.

GT: Yeah.

MM: So, thank you Mitch Iverson for joining us on Let’s Voltron, the Official Voltron Podcast, and we’ll get right into the comics next week.

GT: Alright.

MM: We wanna thank you all for joining us on Let’s Voltron. Don’t forget to visit us on Twitter at @LetsVoltron. We’re also on Instagram at @letsvoltron. We are also on YouTube, the Let’s Voltron YouTube channel. And we also have a Let’s Voltron store on TeePublic. We’re also on Facebook. We also have a skill on Alexa where you can just say, “Alexa, open Let’s Voltron,” and you get a cute little quote that is, uh, one of up to a hundred quotes that are possible that you will get.

GT: Awesome, awesome.

MM: And of course you can listen to our podcast on many different places like Google Play, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, also Podbean, Stitcher, and of course on Alexa. You can also say, “Alexa, play Let’s Voltron, the Official Voltron Podcast,” and you can listen to it right on Alexa.

GT: Or, of course, go to letsvoltron.com

MM: That’s our favorite place. Letsvoltron.com

GT: Yeah, I can remember that one. [laughs]

MM: Because that’s how you get to all of our other things, like we just mentioned.

GT: That’s right. We are all over the place.

MM: So, thank you for joining us once again, and we’ll see you all next time on--

Both: Let’s Voltron!

[outro piano music]

[blacktribbles]

Peaches 🍑 &

Anime Dreams ⭐️

I don’t think many people dream of growing up and living in the same city their entire life. Not being able to see different things outside their own world and limiting their world view. Unfortunately it happens, maybe far too often to count. I hoped and prayed that would never happen to me; as I got older and began to travel a bit more I began to realize how much I love the area I’m in, how much I love the Greater Philadelphia area. However, I promised myself that there are a few cities in the US that I MUST travel to and get a feel for, for when I eventually do leave the area that raised me (inevitable due to future career wants). One of those cities was Atlanta Georgia, and what better reason to go to the state where the players play, and people ride out like everyday, than to go to Momocon and celebrate a special birthday with some friends.

The crew that was riding with me were My homie Mike (aka the Wizard Tribble), his girlfriend Gabe (Director, Producer, and 1 half of the horror podcast “The Ghouls Next Door) and my girlfriend Kat (Producer and the other half of “The Ghouls Next Door). We flew in early Friday morning and hit the ground running when we landed in Atlanta. Things moved quickly in the airport. It was wide open, thoroughly organized with no real confusion, which I was not used to from the Philadelphia airport where pigeons would just sit and claim their spot to a seat right beside you in the airport. There was also this air of safety that honestly rubbed my Philadelphian grit in an odd way but I was very appreciative it was noticed. First time in a new city, the first thing anyone wants is some confirmation of safety.

Once we stepped outside, leaving the comfort of the ATL airport that safeguarded us with AC, we were blessed by the loving and excessive sun. Back home in PA the weather consistently flip flops, unsure of what season it wants to be throughout the day let alone the week. Here in Georgia though, in the city of Atlanta, it was bright and sunny all day and week long with a high of 95 and low of about 63 at night. It felt wonderful knowing that there was going to be a steady weather condition to prepare for. The sun was kissing my skin, invoking the power of my melanin–while burning some of my friends. They enjoyed it all the same luckily.

We arrived early to ATL, early enough to call a ride to the nearby diner to get some good southern breakfast in our systems. From the airport to the diner it felt like we were being taken on a small ATL tour. Passing by us was beautiful scenery, birds chirping, healthy, luscious green trees–adding a perfect amount of nature to the populated urban jungle. The letters GT were everywhere for Georgia Tech. A university that seemed to just keep expanding its territory wherever we roamed. The architecture of the city was sleek, not overly futuristic but reminiscent of Philly. It was modern with some buildings taking a design chance on aesthetics; adding in solar panels, wide open glass roof structures, inverted and curved buildings, the chances taken weren’t over the top and did just enough to stand out. Definitely caught my eye.

We finally arrived at a diner close to where we stayed—Silver Skillet Diner, a place that has hosted the likes of Samuel L. Jackson, and Dave Chappelle to name a few. It’s here that my friends and I are able to take Atlanta in more and notice that yep, this may not be Texas but things sure are thiccer (Yes with 2 C’s) down here in the south. We ordered our meals, with everyone of us making sure to get a bowl of grits–mine as a side to my chicken and waffles. Which, were so crispy yet tender. Only made better by the soft waffles and the sticky sweet syrup to combo it all together perfectly. We finish up and pay our bill. Finally we head to our Airbnb.

We get there and are blown away at the place. Nice balcony, modern furniture with a TV in every room, kitchen is dope and has a beautiful island for us to eat at and lean on. The bathrooms are HUGE and the bedrooms are perfectly fitted for 2. To top it off we had access to a summer lounge area that led to a nice pool and fitness center. Place was so good we had to take a instagram video of it. We were in prime location. Downtown Atlanta, right next to the expressway, walking distance from markets and other restaurants, clothing chains and if we didn’t want to walk we could scooter around wherever we wanted to. Yes, I said scooter around. Not like kick push scooter but motorized. Rideshare companies like Lyft & Uber have motorized scooters you can take by going through the same process as you would by ordering a driver except it’s cheaper and you scan a QRcode to activate the scooter. When you’re finished using it, you hop off, pay and just leave it. Drivers come around later in the day and pick up said scooters and recharge them for later use. It was the strangest but coolest thing to see. Definitely had too much fun bending coroners whipping the scooters like I was in rocket power.

After unpacking and taking more IG photos of our Airbnb, it was time to hit the scene and check out the hype around Momocon. What started out as just a “pick up my badge and go” operation turned into a full storm of fun and adventure. When we arrived at Momocon we took it like any other convention and didn’t pay it much attention, the jaded-ness of being a frequent convention goer showing. That is until we got our badges. We got them, so finally we had access to everything the convention had to offer. We rushed the escalators and slid down the rails to do so again until we reached the convention floor. The choices laid out before were the vendors alley, or the gaming hall. We chose the gaming hall for day one.

A concert of echoing laser sounds, dance taps, sirens, alarms, and winning shouts filled the floor and us with it, enveloped in its energy joined the fray. Game after game we played. Putting our bid to even win some the next day. New friends were made, cosplays were stellar, and I got to chill with one of my favorite Pokémon–Blastoise.

We caught wind of a very rare concert happening that night. One my close friend and I have been dying to see. It was the Bytes & Beats Nujabes Tribute concert featuring the NPC Collective, Richie Branson, Asheru, And our favorites–Substantial and Shing02. If you know anything about great anime then you know about Samurai Champloo. An anime that still stylistically, artistically, and musically, holds up and stands the test of time. Those who watched Samurai Champloo leave with a spirit of hypeness and angsty rebellion. That is if they’re the Mugen type. Those like myself who align more like Jin, feel the counter balance energy of flow. The subtle and instinctual vibrations of being in one's element–just riding the current. One of the biggest things to enjoy about Samurai Champloo is its music. Samurai Champloo had a lot of its music crafted by a Japanese DJ named Nujabes. In my eyes, Nujabes is a god among DJ’s. Shoot, a whole generation of young adults and older can thank him for all the music that inspired if not created the genre of chill-hop & lo-fi.

It was the type of music that could soothe the savage beast, could bring you to this place of perfect concentration like you took the limitless pill. The Beats Nujabes crafted was the type of music that makes you think of the perfect weekend drive by sunset cruising the city blocks or mountain roads or the plains of the countryside–windows down with your one arm doing the free flowing roller coaster motion. That feel good–I’m alive vibe. Then topped with the lyrical stylings of artists like Substantial and Shing02, enhanced everything passed the stratosphere and takes the listener to this otherworldly plain of profound worldly views and humbleness. Even with the uptempo joints it felt like every artist that blessed the track, and Nujabes blessing the beat, it just spoke humble confidence. In short, Nujabes was that dude!

Nujabes collaborated with many artists, but the two that he collaborated with and stood out the most were Substantial and Shing02. He worked on joint albums with both (that are historic for chill-hop culture and must listens) but it was with Shing02 specifically that the two together blessed anime fans worldwide as they collaborated on the intro theme song to Samurai Champloo–Battle Cry. A song so enigmatic that just the utterance of its name begins to make my head bop in rhythmic hip hop fashion. Needless to say, we were going to that damn concert!

It was Friday night, we were in Atlanta, we were looking fly, it’s our first time ever at Momocon and quite possibly our first and only time at this Nujabes tribute concert. We were gonna make sure we had a great fucking time. We did everything possible to make sure we got up close and personal to the stage. I may have stuff-armed a person or two….We made sure to take in all the ambience and to not miss a single beat nor lyric felt or heard. We expected greatness and would be damned if we didn’t have a chance to bear witness to it up close and personal.

The concert began and we were taken to a land of hip hop joy, geek excellence, and a dream fulfilled. The concert started at 11pm and didn’t end till about 3am. For those who waited and held out to the very end like my friends and I were treated to a very special rendition of Battle Cry. A new version with verses from every artist that graced the stage prior, and instrumental solos. This shit was absolutely BONKERS and I LOVED every single moment of it. I’ll add, it was made even better that after the show, the artists came out and interacted with the fans. A humble group of men for sure.

Friday was a blockbuster hit in our books. What happened on Saturday though put everything over the top.

Saturday was special. It was Kat’s birthday and all of us were doing our first ever group cosplay. We decided a while back that we’d do the teen titans in casual attire. This was based off the popular artwork of Gabriel Picolo. So, for me that meant I got to embody a character that I along with many others believe I emulate–Cyborg. I dawned the cybernetic blue and steel grey and white face paint, put on a DC Comics Cyborg shirt to rep him even harder, and topped it off with a colorful playstation jacket. Your man was looking fresh out here. To round out our cast of titans was Kat as Raven, Mike as Robin/Nightwing and Gabe as Starfire. Our rule was if we see a Beast Boy, we adopt him for a family photo; and sure enough we did.

We bursted into Momocon towards the backend of a DC vs Marvel Photoshoot. We got a couple pictures taken there then dispersed to get our own in front of the Momocon banner. That’s when it began to happen. It started off quietly by a singular person, then it built into a loud murmur from everyone I see, then it finally erupts into a loud “DOPE COSPLAY CYBORG” from groups of people. Wherever we went I was getting noticed, our team and group cosplay was getting noticed. I don’t think we ever knew it would become such a big deal. I know I didn’t at the time until it was pointed out to me that, every teen titans cosplay done by a group is ALWAYS lacking a Cyborg; everyone but ours. It was a moment that really struck home for me. It began to make more sense as the day progressed. Little kids were coming up to me saying “BOOYAH!” and singing the teen titans theme song. People loved us, they wanted our pictures, put us in videos, stopped what they were doing just to chat with us. It was major. It without a shadow of a doubt drove home the message to me that representation matters. I know some out there will say it’s not super important but after Momocon, after seeing little black boys and girls smile with joy and sing teen titans with me, after they get excited by the utterance of the word booyah by another black character, that families start showing me off to their kid cosplayers and other adult cosplayers of color pause everything because they NEED to take a photo with you...you just can’t ignore how important that is. To be able to see yourself as a hero. To see oneself as greater than for once, when most of–if not all of society says you can only fit into these certain boxes. To see someone else that looks like you in a positive light; that’s all it takes to break a negative cycle, that’s all it takes to create another hero. For a small moment in time, I was inspiring to those around me; and I hope that the sliver of inspiration that I sparked stays ignited in those I met. I know it surely will with me.

But I digress.

Beyond the massive success of our group cosplay, beyond the elation and fun had for Kat’s birthday, the icing on the cake was being able to meet a famous cosplayer by the name of KieraPlease. This was after an intense dance dance revolution session in which I sat and recorded video and got exhausted looking at everyone else go. It was pure happenstance, which resulted into pure happiness when we finally met. I don’t get starstruck often but I must say, words failed me for our brief interaction. I saw her, saw my friends, and shot my shot at a possible chat and photo opportunity for us all. I took the shot and it went in (KOBE!!). After the picture she hugged us all and had a nice conversation with the Ghouls (Kat & Gabe) which I’m sure made their day if the hug didn’t already. It’s great to note that as a team, we have this cosplay thing down well. When a pro says you got it, you freaking got it! More so, it was better to finally meet someone your used to seeing on a cellphone or laptop screen. A living breathing tangible person, who quite honestly is living her best life fully and truly can be looked at as a symbol of positivity; a role model even. Just like that, day two was in the books.

So, I think I brought you along far enough on my experience in ATL. Detailing 2 key days. Now let me change things up on you a bit and give you my overall thoughts of Atlanta and Momocon as a whole.

Atlanta itself is a hotbed of culture. On the weekend we went, that weekend alone had a bevy of major events happening all weekend long. There was Momocon, Caribbean festival and parade, a food festival, and Stone Mountain fireworks and light show to name a few. As one of our lyft drivers said, ATL is a hotbed of culture because it is made up of a lot of different cultures and people from around the US. Atlanta has its own swagger but it is the culmination of others that has shaped the way it is today. Atlanta is a Transplant City. Many people are moving to Atlanta because of the opportunities that present itself. From music, TV, movies, overall entertainment and broadcasting, the warm weather, the great food, the architecture, the various modes of transportation (ONE TIME FOR THE SCOOTERS), the cheaper housing, and generally you get more out of your earned dollar; why people move there makes sense. And like all major cities Atlanta has its issues, shoot the state of Georgia alone is a bit problematic depending on where you slide politically. But my time spent there will be one for the history books. It’s definitely a place worth traveling to again. Next time I go, I’ll be sure to do more exploring. I didn’t get a chance to travel the halls of Cartoon Network (IF ANYONE ONE IN THE HR DEPARTMENT IS READING THIS, HIRE ME PLEASE) so that’s reason enough for me to go back. That and I didn’t get to try some of Hattie B’s Nashville hot chicken or the slutty vegan sandwich. There’s always next time though.

As for Momocon….IN-FREAKING-CREDIBLE! Momocon has that extra something. That nudge to taking it up one more notch to make it great. No, it is not as big as DragonCon and maybe it won’t get the same recognition or acclaim but Momocon is a phenomenal con. Momocon brought me back to 2014, when I first started going to conventions. My first one at the time was Otakon and to this day I don’t think any other con will hold as special of a spot in my heart as Otakon. But Momocon, Momocon was dangerously close to taking that spot. Which lets me know and hopefully you, the reader, now that it’s just that damn good! The crowd size of the convention is comparable to say the Greater Philadelphia comic con. Meaning there’s a large crowd and over a thousand things to do but you never have to fear about missing out on something. You can and will get to everything you want if you have patience. The event staff from security to the PR and press team were absolutely amazing. All were easy to talk to and informative, helpful and never overbearing. What truly made Momocon as great as it is in my eyes, is that it at its core it remained an anime and gaming convention. It wasn’t a comic convention with anime sections, it was an anime and gaming convention that accepted comic lovers just as much as it did its anime and gaming fans. Anime and gaming is my bread and butter, it’s what got me into this geeky, blerd, pop-culture world I exist in currently. Momocon stayed true to that core value. The sheer fact they had Substantial and Shing02 performing live in concert said more than enough for me. Momocon you are in fact, a real one.

Atlanta….I’ll be back in the future. Whether that be for work or pleasure, or hell maybe to be a transplant myself and live there. All this kid from the burbs of Philly has to say left is…

Peace up, A-Town down.

Much love,

– Isaiah Luck aka Broku

Assistant Producer

Black Tribbles

[dreadhaus-literature]

{January Collection} #16

Elephant

Wednesday’s Theme: Description

It’s all fun and games until the Batman shows up and insists you make good on the Elephant in the Room.

Monica swallowed the nervous sound that threatened to spill past her painted lips, staring up at the intimidating figure backlit by the flirtatious moon streaming through the open window. Cold air bit at her bare arms but she almost couldn’t feel it, the Batman was so close all she could take in was the spiced metal scent of Gotham’s Night Stalker. He was in full regalia, from his billowing cape to his cowl, and Monica...was left wondering why it was she sometimes mocked his outfit, again? Granted she’d never seen him so close, before--she had no idea he knew where she lived. She was just one of Gotham’s eight million residents, and she was likely one of the most anti-social--except online...which is how this whole thing started. Monica was an internet personality in Gotham, boasting a Twitter following in the millions that would make most view-thirsty YouTubers jealous. Monica was most known for her scathing wit and hilarious re-telling of Gotham’s many problems using Twitter’s 240 character limit, but most days she didn’t need all that to get her point across. Liviari’s Lines was a popular Gotham-centric podcast Monica hosted twice a week that others clamored and fought to get a spot on, and Twine’s 5 second video format was perfect for Monica’s quick wit and excellent camera work. If you wanted to be in the know, you came to Monica’s many social media outlets. She was Gotham’s virtual tour guide and literal millions flocked to her for the hot take on Gotham any given day of the week.

It was only a matter of time before Batman wound up on Monica’s radar. The caped crusader was out on patrol every night, punching faces and returning snatched purses, and while Monica didn’t necessarily have a problem with the guy...how do you not mock a guy in a giant batsuit? It started out light-hearted, with Monica making quick quips on her videos and podcasts about the Bat’s nightly extra-curriculars, but with so many followers her words caught like a spark against dry tinder and anything she said about Batman was trending for the next three days. Monica may...not have made the best judgment call when one day, on air, she was confronted with the question “Is Batman hot, tho?” And she responded without missing a beat--

“Fuck Batman.”

And it was clear by the tone of her voice she did not mean in the silk sheets and rose petals kind of way. It was just, her guest had put her on the spot! She’d done a damn good job of never mentioning Batman’s attractiveness, that just wasn’t her style. Something about him made her want to turn her nose up rather than sink to her knees and the retort had just slipped out--but it had taken Gotham by storm. The hashtag #FuckBatman blew up instantly and stayed at the top of Gotham’s feed for weeks; people were putting it on their bios, it was on T-shirts and coffee mugs, and eventually Monica was collecting royalties for an off-hand comment she...really didn’t mean! Of course she didn’t actually have a problem with Batman, but it was too late to take it back!

The other side of the coin, that Monica could have no way of knowing, was the repercussions it was having for Batman, known to select few as Bruce Wayne. He was a genius when it came to tech but he didn’t care for social media and thus, had no idea who Monica, aka Liviari, was. He’d heard her name in passing from Duke or Tim, and he knew Jason though she was “smokin’ hot,” because Bruce had been in earshot when Jason said it aloud to Dick, who didn’t disagree. Unfortunately for Bruce, in this social media age, being out of the loop didn’t prepare him for the backlash of two little words, until he was out in Gotham on patrol and after saving someone, was met with, “Fuck Batman,” and a peace sign selfie, like it was some sort of strange battle cry. Bruce had been so taken aback he didn’t even know what the hell to say, and his staring had made the person he’d just saved so uncomfortable he’d run away from the vigilante with a cry of, “It’s just a j-joke, man, lighten up!”

Bruce had initially chalked that up to some idiot with something to prove, but the following day, on his way in to Wayne Enterprises, he saw no less than a dozen people in “Fuck Batman” shirts and one of the security guards at the front desk had the audacity to have the coffee mug. Bruce was confused and a little annoyed--

Until he found out the why behind this new media campaign.

“Smokin’ hot,” was the term one of his sons had used to describe Monica, and while Bruce wouldn’t argue that, he would put it a different way. Breath-takingly, strikingly gorgeous, was a more apt descriptor for the internet personality that was turning Bruce’s world upside down. Immediately his agitation over this new slogan subsided then ignited like a spark, flames fanned into lust so potent he had to shift position as he stared at Monica’s picture on the computer in the Batcave. Bruce was not a man who was occupied in carnal pleasures, he had too much on his plate, but he knew enough to indulge if only to keep his body from getting distracted--so it hadn’t been so long that he was just in need of a woman’s touch. No, this was something else entirely and he kept his cerulean eyes locked to Monica’s smiling face on his screen as he basically devoured her. Minutes ticked by then bled into hours as his search history filled up with every available social media page and article about Gotham’s Gossip Girl. An obsession was taking root without his conscious awareness, so that the sun rose with him still in his chair--he missed patrol for the first night in years, too busy was he collecting everything he wanted, no, needed to know about Monica.

Anyone who asked got the same response, “I need to know who she is so I can nip this in the bud. This could get out of hand, fast.” And it sounded logical, even if Jason’s only response to it was continuously, “Fuck Batman.” But Bruce had a different reaction every time he heard the slogan, now.

Would she?

There are downsides to those with rigid discipline, that most don’t want to acknowledge. If they begin to hyper-focus on something nothing can deter them, and they’ll convince themselves they’re doing the right thing because they always do the right thing. Batman doesn’t do wrong, Batman is the beacon, the symbol of justice and what’s right in Gotham City. If he’s set his mind to doing something then it has to be the right call because Batman can’t be anything else.

That was what Bruce told himself when he began stalking Monica.

Bruce just needed to know what sort of woman she was, of course. If she was going to be out here, influencing the work he was doing in their city, then he needed to know so that when the time came to approach her, he knew the best way to do it. It helped that Bruce didn’t examine his habits much more closely, because there was no reason for him to spend every available moment on patrol perched on the building across from hers, watching her through her window as she went about her nightly routines...she was even more breath-taking in person, something Bruce hadn’t prepared himself for. Pictures normally do a person plenty of justice, but the first time Monica unknowingly turned to face him through the window Bruce had to brace himself on the ledge of the roof he was on, fighting the blood pooling low and putting too much strain on his cock in his suit. He’d actually grunted at the pressure, his mind racing with thoughts that weren’t exactly what one might expect from Gotham’s hero. What was he supposed to do, when she had lips like that? His mouth ran dry with the imagining of what she tasted like, and as she’d turned and walked away from the window he was left just hopelessly staring, while Duke called his name over the radio comm repeatedly.

Bruce had called up an old fling that same night, buried himself deep in something familiar, but he had to keep his eyes closed so he could imagine it was Monica’s legs wrapped around his waist. He’d kept his hand over the other woman’s mouth so she couldn’t speak and ruin the illusion, and in the end Bruce could only come when he thought of Monica’s voice in his ear, calling him Daddy, begging to be filled. He’d tossed the condom away with a scowl after it was done, irritated that he’d wasted himself when Monica should be full and happy, sated and sleepy in his bed. He got up to shower, callously tossing over his broad shoulder that the other woman should see herself out. The only one allowed in his bed was across the city and Bruce didn’t get a wink of sleep that night.

That was when he knew this had nothing to do with lust and this was not something he could just “get over” or get out of his system. Bruce spent the hours he was at work chasing alerts and updates from her social media profiles (he’d signed up for every platform she was on using an anonymous username so he could follow her easily) and his patrols always took him by her place so he could see her. Thanks to her videos and podcasts that he played over the Batmobile’s speakers and screens he was haunted by her voice, and Bruce was losing himself to a firestorm of obsession that he felt was justified. She called him out, drew him out of the shadows with two simple words, and she had to answer for it. She had to answer for what she’s done, bringing the Bat to his knees. This was unacceptable, how could she continue to be so unaffected by him when he couldn’t close his eyes without seeing her smile? He hated anyone touching him anymore because he had no idea what she felt like. Any woman stupid enough to try it on with him was met with a harsh glare and a reprimand, because if it wasn’t Monica it wasn’t good enough. Bruce was at his wit’s end and one night, tonight, the line was cut and the glass shattered, so that he climbed through her window and forced her to face her fear.

Monica opened her mouth to say something, but her teeth clicked together out of chattering nerves when Batman inclined his head slightly down; she couldn’t see his eyes behind the cowl but she knew he was staring at her mouth. Gotham’s Hero was unbelievably tall and looked carved from marble, and Monica swallowed thickly as her eyes drifted down from that square-cut chin to watch the muscles coil and ripple beneath the suit she’d once thought looked dramatic and ridiculous. There was some question as to whether or not the Batman’s muscles were real or etched into his suit but she could now confirm...it was all the man. The suit had nothing to do with his physique, it was simply molded to fit what was unfairly perfect and almost inhumanly so. He moved, a single ripple of power like a jungle cat and she retreated, his prey and fully aware of it as her back bumped against the wall.

“Say it.”

The voice that spoke was not what she expected Batman to sound like; she’d expected a voice that was rough, unpolished, but his baritone slid over her skin like velvet rope, binding even as she ached to hear it again.

“W-What?” Monica’s whisper caught at his thundering heart and his gloved fingers cinched with the desperate need to bruise, to claim what was trembling before him. He slowly unclenched his hand, flattening it on the wall beside her head. She was so petite he had to bend his spine to get in close but he would have broken it just to close the distance between them.

He stopped a hair’s width from her lips. “Say your little catchphrase. I’ve had to hear it for weeks. I want to hear it from the source, now.”

Monica’s throat ran dry as she fought to swallow. He was...trying to intimidate her and she shouldn’t have been surprised by that, it was Batman after all and he could stop some criminals before they even committed a crime just by his presence alone. She hated that it was working, her body responding to his close proximity and that voice. His breath was ghosting across her lips, and a part of her wanted to close the distance and kiss him. That damn cowl kept her from being able to read him but she had the distinct feeling even if she could see his face she wouldn’t be able to tell what he wanted. The problem was...she knew exactly what he was talking about.

“L-Look,” Monica brought her hands up, trying to hide their trembling as she settled them against his chest--and her knees nearly buckled. The wall of muscle she felt beneath his suit sent a rush of liquid heat pooling between her thighs and she clenched her bare legs, all the sudden too aware of the T-shirt and panties that constituted her pajamas. “It was j-just a joke. Obviously I appreciate w-what you do for Gotham. But if you t-think you’re going to intimidate me by showing up in the m-middle of the night, you’re in for--”

Bruce couldn’t stand it any longer and his lips crashed down on hers, taking advantage of her talking to split her lips with his seeking, hungry tongue. She tasted cloying, not unlike sweet red wine that passed his time at charity events, and he pushed her further, harder back against the wall so she couldn’t escape him. He was staunch in his no killing policy but even Bruce had to admit to himself if someone interrupted him kissing Monica in this moment he’d seriously consider rethinking his position--he could not release her mouth. Her trembling fingers pushed weakly at his chest but he didn’t miss the way her hips raised and met his lower half and he broke the kiss just to groan at the friction between them. His gloved fingers buried in her hair, forcing her head back against the wall as he drank from her lips like a dying man, his other hand gripping her hip hard enough to bruise so she would stop trying to put space between them. There’d been too much space between them these past few weeks and he wouldn’t stand for it, now. She was shaking in his embrace and he met her fear with his strength, showing her exactly what Batman was capable of. He held her up, forced her to him eagerly and he didn’t care if that was how he came across. Composure was everything to Batman, but the man beneath the cowl was suffering at the hands of this petite woman who had Gotham wrapped around her finger--Gotham’s Hero was no exception to that.

Monica could hardly believe Batman, the Batman was kissing her. And god, could he ever kiss. Her nails skidded against the armor over his chest and her fingers slipped up to his powerful throat until the tips of her fingers were caressing his jaw, feeling the ghost of a 5 o’clock shadow. His chin, his jaw were so square she couldn’t help imagining it between her thighs and she stifled a moan against his mouth--he heard it and chased it, growling out his displeasure that she would try to keep it from him. Monica was helpless as she offered up another keening whine, one he greedily swallowed as his hand slid from her hip to cup her ass, gripping her with obvious possession she didn’t know what to do with. There was more than just lust and sexual tension in this but without the knowledge of how long Batman had been investigating her, watching her, Monica could only follow where he led. With one arm he lifted her and pressed her back against the wall; her legs wrapped around his waist and he made a deep noise of approval as she was opened up for him. Monica’s cheeks tinted in the darkness at the slick feel of her thighs spreading; he’d know how much she was enjoying his kiss as he ground against her, but she quickly lost that thought at the impressive bulge that pushed right against her clit. Her breath slammed from her lungs at the implications of what he would, what he could do to her and as his tongue caressed hers she could only tighten her arms around his broad shoulders knowing she couldn’t entirely fight this.

Bruce told himself it would matter if Monica fought him, of course he’d never take advantage of an innocent girl, but he buried the echoing truth that he was out of control beneath the sweet sound of Monica’s moans and those keening little noises she made. Those sounds would haunt him, chase him like her skirt tails during the waking hours and he knew without even having to be inside her that this would not be the only time he’d have to have her. Whatever was happening here, it was just the beginning. Who could blame him? Bruce sacrificed so much for this city; so much of his time and his resources, his own Family had bled and died for this city, so if this was Gotham offering up a gift in exchange he was going to take it with both hands. His gloved fingers slid from her hair, slamming into the wall beside her head as he felt her heat slide over his engorged cock again. Christ, she was killing him. He hadn’t intended to fuck her tonight, he just wanted to see her, to talk to her; he was going out of his mind with the distance between them but now that he was here, he couldn’t stop himself. It was akin to dropping a starved man at a table with his favorite food; one bite wasn’t enough to satisfy and even after kissing Monica to the point she had to beg or she’d pass out he knew it wasn’t enough. He released her gasping mouth and as her head tipped back against the wall, dragging air into those starved lungs, he attacked her throat.

“P-Please, B-Batman--”

“No,” Bruce accented his words with the bite of perfect white teeth against the curve of her throat. “Those aren’t the words I want to hear.”

Monica knew what he wanted but she couldn’t get the words out. It was one thing to jokingly caps lock it with her followers, or even playfully chant it on-air with her podcast guests, but when the Batman had her pinned to her bedroom wall, his tongue doing something wickedly sinful against the pulse in her throat, well, she couldn’t say it.

“If you don’t say it,” he warned, “you’re going to do it.”

Monica pushed her hips more insistently against him, felt his body’s responding shudder and found her body had accepted that long before her mind had. She was so wet she was sticky with need, staining the front of Batman’s suit and she would have apologized or been mortified if she could think beyond Bruce suckling at the tender skin of her throat.

Bruce could feel her dripping down the front of him and he ground against her, using the wall as leverage when all he wanted was to bury his impressive length so deep she screamed. He just couldn’t release her throat to make good on his promise, not yet, not when he was bruising the skin and leaving a claiming mark behind that she wouldn’t be able to hide. His hand slipped from the wall to cup the opposite side of her throat, pushing her deeper, harder into him as his strong fingers kneaded the supple flesh of her ass. He wanted his gloves off, but again couldn’t stop to remove them, his teeth sampling skin so sharply she cried out and he ached to feel her fingers in his dark hair. Beneath his cowl Bruce’s eyes fluttered shut; he was going to fuck her, claim her, fill her, yes because he couldn’t leave her without doing so, but this could only be the beginning. He wouldn’t be able to sleep, to live his life peacefully until he had all of her, in every way he could. Bruce deserved that, he was owed that, because he was convinced this was his reward for all he’d sacrificed. No one ever touched the Batman, much less the man behind the mask, but Monica was so far beneath his skin he’d never get her out of his system and he finally released her bruised throat with a groan of desperate need.

“My gloves,” he managed between clenched teeth, and Monica responded immediately as he offered one hand to her, then shifted her slight weight to offer her his other. She tugged them free and was immediately rewarded with the calloused grip of his fingers as one cupped her ass, the other making short work of the front of Batman’s suit.

Her eyes widened as the moonlight cast a long, thick shadow as Batman’s impressive cock slipped from his suit and he made no other move but to slide it up the crease of her thigh. That same hand pulled her panties to the side, exposing her fully to his covetous intrusion. “W-Wait, don’t you need--”

Protection? There was no protection to be had, not when Bruce had set his mind to having her, all of her. Monica’s head was thrown back with a stunned, pained squeal as Bruce split her tight cunt with the thick girth of his dripping cock. He groaned, his head falling to rest above hers so that she was wholly, fully trapped against the wall and his unforgiving frame, his one arm hooked around her back, his other struggling to keep him braced against the wall. He had to clench his jaw as he felt her shift to accommodate him; she was so small, so tight he was going out of his mind. He’d never had any woman grip him so tightly, to the point he wasn’t certain he could move and Bruce had nothing if he didn’t have control. His fingers cinched against her waist as her choked sob of pleasure-pain ran down his spine like her fingernails. She was killing him, squeezing him so tightly, her sweet voice raking over raw nerves until he was certain he was losing his mind with want. The weeks he’d spent stalking her had all led up to this moment but there was no preparing him for what it felt like inside her; he bottomed out and her thighs gripped his hips as if to stop him from moving but what choice did he had? He had to have her. He’d die if he didn’t.

Monica couldn’t stay quiet, not when she was so full. She’d never been filled like this before and she was terrified that as soon as this was over, she’d be left feeling empty. It had her matching Batman’s desperation with her own, her arms tightening over his broad shoulders and he didn’t let her down; he trapped her further against the wall, his other arm circling her back to press her closer. She lifted her head, staring up into his masked face and even without seeing his eyes she knew he was staring at her.

Bruce couldn’t take his eyes off her. Lit by the moon and so full of him there was no room for anything else, she stole his breath away. His chest was heaving with the exertion it took not to raw her, but he wanted desperately to. She arched against him and just like that, he gave himself away that he couldnt’ deny her; he was drawing back only to thrust up once, one solid, deep thrust and she cried out. He devoured her with his eyes alone, wanting to commit this moment to memory, to hold him over until the next time--and there would be a next time. She slid over him hot, wet, sinfully tight and he lost himself to a deep, hard rhythm that had her toes curling and her spine arching to accommodate him because he was so thick, so deep she knew she’d never get him out again. He closed the distance between them, searing her with a kiss that she struggled to keep with his cock buried so deep she couldn’t uncurl her toes. Her walls were stretched to their limits, her cunt dripping off him onto the floor as his strong fingers gripped and kneaded the supple, biteable flesh of her ass--he’d have to get to that next time, leaving marks in intimate places so she’d be too shy to show anyone else. Bruce may not have the rights to claim her but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to. Anyone trying to move in on his woman would find themselves scared off by the Batman, and he would have no shame about doing it.

Anything, absolutely anything would be acceptable to do to be able to have her. He’d never felt anything like this in his life, the wet heat that was searing him like a brand so that his body was secondary to the ever-increasing thud of his heart. Bruce kept his lips pressed to hers, taking long, drugging kisses as her breathing matched his own frantic pace, his hips snapping into hers with desperate need to fill her; it had been the only thing on his mind for weeks and to be so close was shredding his rigid control. This was bad, she was bad for him, like a killswitch to control he’d spend decades honing into a weapon all on it’s own but what was he to do? He wasn’t strong enough to let her go, not now that he’d had a taste of her. His tongue split her lips and he swallowed her rising cry, feeling her body clenching around him and he grunted in response. He wanted to tell her, not so tight, he wouldn’t last and he wanted nothing more but for this to last, but he couldn’t get the words out. He was going up in flames right alongside her, driven to running down his climax because she was doing nothing to stop hers.

“I-I’m, I’m--”

“I know, beautiful, I know,” Bruce spoke against her mouth, “be a good girl and cum for me.”

Monica’s body tensed, her spine arching to the point of pain as she gave in to him and he followed her, pinning her against the wall as his hips snapped up once, twice, as if trying to get himself deeper and deeper with each roll of their shared orgasm. He spilled so deeply inside her she felt tears prick the corners of her eyes; she was so full, her fingers grasping at his broad shoulders as he kept their bodies locked tightly together so that not a single drop spilled from between her thighs.

Bruce was near convinced he died and this was some form of heaven earned for years of sacrifice; there was no way this was real, that she was real. His body, for the first time he could feasibly remember, felt satisfied. His cock twitched, still buried so deeply inside her, and he drew in a shuddering breath with the realization he would eventually have to set her down and face the reality that she had no idea who he was...but that wouldn’t stop this. It couldn’t change the course of what he’d begun, tonight. It didn’t matter if this time got her pregnant or not. He knew who she was, where she lived, and the tracker he’d placed inside her phone case before she’d even known he was there would allow him an even more intimate look into her life until she was ready to let him all the way in. Was it wrong? Probably. But Bruce had gotten a taste of something he could not live without, and that does...strange things to even the sanest of individuals.

Besides, Monica should have been careful what she wished for when she uttered those two little words--

Fuck Batman, indeed.