#I hate having nothing to show for myself - it makes me feel useless and no one cares for useless people

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Four

Summary: After last night you don't know where you stand but tensions are still high and you don't know what you really want. Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 5.6K~ Warnings: Smuuuuttt, Explicit Language and a crap ton of pet names (I'm sorry okay I love pet names lmao) Same warning as before cuz ya'll wanted more smut haha. Horribly edited too so have mercy on me y'all I just wanted to get it out. a/n: Aw shit here we go again 🤣 Anyways ya'll asked and I delivered lmao so another smut chapter but next one is gonna be mainly plot alight 😂 gotta save some more smut for later 🫢 Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

Waking up the next morning I feel incredibly disoriented. 'Where am I? How did I get here? Why am I naked?' and at that last question I feel all the memories of last night rushing back to me.

Echos of the pet names and praises and the ghost of his fingers all along my body make every cell in my body buzz with need for more. I've never done something like that, something so...scandalous and with and man almost twice my age at that.

I thought that if I ever did something like this before I got married I would've felt shameful but I feel confident...wanted by someone who respects me for who I am and wanted nothing in return. It felt different that I thought it would've, having him hover over me, meeting me with his heated gaze. I wanted him closer. I wanted him to crawl under my skin and give me everything.

It's selfish to say I wanted more because he owes me nothing, he's given me so much and what have I given him in return? Nothing...

He says I've given him plenty but I still feel unworthy of his kindness. I have to do something to show him my thanks, to show him that I'm grateful for everything he's given me. I just don't know where to start.

~~~~~

Getting up and out of bed after I get my bearings was more difficult than I thought it would be. I felt almost a little sore from what we had done last night and I don't know if I should love or hate the sensation. Should I be mad that it got rough enough to cause this feeling or should I feel excited from still having a sensation left over from the pleasure he had given me?

As I continue to go round and round in my head with more useless doubts that run through my head I'm suddenly met with a light knock on the door.

"Um, just a second" I panic, looking around for something to cover up and notice the silk robe that had been placed on the bed and throw it on without a second thought before telling him to come in.

He opens the door and takes in my form for a second, biting his lip at the barely there fabric covering everything he saw last night. "Good morning" he husks out, his voice sending a shockwave between my legs making me cross them unconsciously, which garners a slight upturn at the corner of his mouth.

"Good morning" I squeak out, exposing my flustered state right away, cursing myself internally. "How'd you sleep?" he ask, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning up against the door frame, giving me space but somehow making his presence felt throughout the room.

"Amazing" I say, looking down at my feet in embarrassment, being honest but hating myself for it. "Yeah?" he prods, satisfied by my answer but begging to get that confirmation. "Yeah" I reply, nodding but still averting my gaze.

"Lunch is ready if you'd like to come downstairs. I check on you earlier to see if you wanted breakfast but you were still sleeping like a baby" he teases and if his voice alone didn't make me drop to the floor then that pet name at the end surely did.

"You alright?" he chuckles and I clear my throat before responding, knowing my voice would be no good if I tried to speak without doing so.

"I'm great, perfectly fine" I answer, glancing up at him before adjusting my robe and closing it around me even more. "I'll be waiting downstairs then. You can take your time getting dressed but you're also more than welcome to wear that all day" he taunts, pushing off the door frame and turning to leave after looking me up and down once more.

"I'll be down in a second" I call after him and wait for him to get downstairs before following the path he had just been on and running into my room, quickly but quietly shutting it behind me.

Leaning my head against the door I try to collect my thoughts and stop my racing heart that bound to explode at the next Baby, Bunny or Darling that's bound to come out of his mouth. 'It's just Jungkook. He's been nothing but nice to me and he seems like a really great guy.

We just need to talk and figure things out before something like that happens again' I coach myself and turn to face my room where I'm greeted with a freshly made bed and a single flower in a small vase.

'I can never catch a break with this man' I smile, shaking my head and dropping the robe to change into something more comfortable.

~~~~

"There she is" Jungkook say when he catches sight of me walking down the steps and into the kitchen where he has both of our lunches set out across the island from each other. "This looks so good!" I compliment the food he's made as he motions for me to sit down.

"I'm sorry it took me a while to come down" I apologize, sitting down and taking a drink of water before piercing a fork though the strawberry he has in a bowl full of fruit for us to share. "It's alright, I don't mind waiting for you. Seems like I tired you out last night so I'm glad you got some sleep" he say, smiling over the lip of his glass, making me choke on the next strawberry I had just placed in my mouth.

"You okay Darling?" he asks, handing me a napkin, with that last word aiding to my death by asphyxiation along with the strawberry lodged in my throat. "I'm fine" I choke out after a few more coughs and a drink of water.

"You seem rather jumpy today. Is something wrong?" he asks, tilting his head a bit and attentively waiting for my answer. "I'm fine, I think I'm still trying to wake up" I say, faking a yawn at the end to hopefully legitimize my claim. "Fair enough" he says, taking a bite of his food and grabbing his phone when it starts ringing.

"You can take that if you want" I say, taking a drink of water and glancing down at his phone before making eye contact with him. "No it's alright, I can take care of it later" he brushes off, silencing the call and taking a drink of water.

"So do you have any plans for the day?" he questions, looking at me as if I'm the most fascinating thing on earth. "Well, um, no not really. Do you?" I echo and when he goes to open his mouth to respond he's cut off by his phone ringing, not doubt from the same number again.

"Just take it. I'll be here when you get back I promise" I tease and he clears his throat, unbeknownst to me have flashbacks of when I asked him to take my virginity.

"It's for work, I'll be back soon" he says and I nod my head in response and close my eyes when he comes over to give me a kiss on the forehead like he's done time and time again but when I look up at him afterwards I see he hasn't made moves to leave.

His phone stopped ringing at some point which leave us with a lingering silence with so many words unsaid ultimately cut off by another incoming call. "I'm sorry" he whispers, his eyes glancing down at my lips before he turns around to head to his office answering with a curt 'What?' to whoever is on the other end of that call.

'I would hate to be that guy' I smile to myself, the vision of seeing him get mad comes to mind leaving my pressing my thighs together. 'Why am I so fucking horny these days?' I roll my eyes and continue eating my lunch, laughing at the sound of his frustration but hating that he's going through it at the same time.

~~~~~

It's been about a half an hour and he's still on the phone leaving me scrolling through mine until my brain feels as though it's turned to mush, a part of my brain occupied by him and only him.

As I hear another irritated sigh I decide I'll bring him some pain medication to help with the onset headache I'm sure he's having. It's gotta be a big problem if they're calling him on a Saturday morning.

I open the door slowly and peak my head in, being met with the sight of him with his laptop open and a mess of papers all over his desk. He looks up at me with an apologetic wince but waves me in nonetheless.

I raise my arms up, showing a full glass of water along with a bottle of pills and he mouths a silent 'Thank you' and I nod happily, proud that I made the right decision and place the glass on his desk while I open the pill bottle and drop a couple onto his palm to which he places them in his mouth and immediately chases it with the glass of water.

Watching as his Adam's apple bobs up and down as he gulps down the water has my head dizzy for some reason but I'm not sure why. While I'm trying to come up with an explanation some water spills on his cheek as he swallows the rest.

I feel as though my body has been taken over by an outer being because my reaction was to catch that stray drop of water off his cheek with my thumb and bring it to my mouth.

His eyes dart over to mine, wide in shock and leaving me feeling as though I'd done something wrong. My next move being to hightail it out of here but he stops me with a firm grasp on my hip, making me lean up against his desk next to him.

I make an effort to slip out of his hold but he gives me a warning glance, wordlessly telling me to behave and I do just that, shutting my mouth and watching as he works. He keeps a hand on my waist, making sure I'll stay, his thumb gently rubbing circles on my hip mindlessly where my shirt had risen up in my try to escape.

I do my best to keep my composure but the visions of last night flashing though my head makes it hard to control myself from rubbing my thighs together and I ultimately lose the battle.

Forgetting that he still has a hold on me earns me a knowing glance when he notices my actions, his gaze gradually getting more and more heated.

I lean back in an effort to get comfortable while I wait, my palms helping me balance on his desk behind me, leaving my chest sticking out a bit. I earn a tight squeeze on my waist as a warning to be patient and to stop squirming, which at the moment is very hard to accomplish with him looking so fucking sexy talking business with the man on the other line.

Was I relieved that it was a man calling him three times in a row on a Saturday afternoon? Yes, yes I was. It's none of my business though, nor do I have any grounds to have an opinion on it but his hand sliding up my waist says otherwise.

"Yes. Okay, okay alright was that everything? Okay well we'll pick this up on Monday morning. Thanks alright you have a good weekend too. Okay bye" he says, looking at me the whole time he finishes up his call, squeezing my waist now, making my breathing pick up and I know I'm in trouble when he hangs up the phone.

"You're a little minx you know that?" he says, turning his chair to face me and takes his hand off my waist only to slide it down my arms and hold my hand, placing kisses on my knuckles. "What do you mean?" I question, already breathless from the look of him sitting back in his chair, his legs spread wide and his gaze getting darker by the moment.

"You know what I mean. You came in here acting all innocent and helpful and next thing I know it you're licking water off my cheek? Seems pretty naughty Bunny. Don't you think?" he says while kissing the tips of my fingers, making sparks fly through my arms and straight to my head, keeping my gaze locked on his.

"I didn't lick it off your cheek" I say quietly but he lets out a dry chuckle in response. "Technicalities will get you nowhere sweetheart. Just admit that you wanted my attention, you were too impatient and couldn't even wait an hour for me to come back to you. It's okay, I won't laugh" he says, pulling on my hand and making me stumble onto his lap, my legs hanging over one of them.

"I- I just wanted to hel-" "I'm sure you did Darling and you were so thoughtful bringing me that medicine but I know you wanted something else huh?" he says while brushing away the hair that had fallen on my face when he pulled me down.

I shake my head but he cocks a brow at me, wordlessly telling me to tell him the truth so I in turn nod my head, admitting that deep down I did want his attention again.

"Now what was it that my Princess wanted? Did she just want attention or did she want to be touched again? Wanted me to take care of her again?" he taunts, taking note of all the times he's seen me rub my thighs together or get that breathless look on my face. I nod my head but he shakes his leaving me confused.

"If my Bunny wants something she's gotta use her words. Can you do that for me Darling? Can you use that pretty mouth of yours and tell me you want Daddy to touch you again?" he says, testing out a new name to call himself that's got me squirming again.

"Nuh uh none of that Darling, if you want something you've gotta ask for it. Now be a good girl and tell me what you want" he says, holding my hips in place, unbeknownst to me preventing me from rubbing my ass against him, still wanting to hold himself back.

His only priority and desire is to make me feel good and he wouldn't have it any other way. He knows I'm inexperienced and doesn't want to scare me away. He wants to take his time with me. 

"I want you to..." I start, trailing off from embarrassment, not being used to saying stuff like this let alone to someone as intoxicating as him.

"What was that Bunny? Didn't catch that" he presses, clearly enjoying the internal struggle that's shown all over my face. If he didn't know I had a shit poker face then he sure as hell knows now. No matter how you slice it he'll always be able to read me like a book.

"I want you to touch me" I whisper and he leans in as if he couldn't hear me but my lips at this point are inches from his, the slightest movement connecting mine with his.

"Lie back for me yeah?" he asks, his lips ghosting against mine before grabbing my hip and guiding me to sit on his desk before pushing all of his papers and laptop to the side dramatically making me laugh at the motion until I notice his laptop falling to the floor. His eyes follow mine and notice said device and simply shrugs.

"I can buy another one" he mumbles against my lips before connecting them in a short lived kiss as he guides me down, my back against his desk while he hovers over me. "You wanna try something else?" he says, watching my expression change from one of nervous excitement to intrigue.

"You trust me?" he questions, watching my face for any hesitation but finds none. "Yes" I say, nodding my head and he smiles before placing a kiss on my lips. "Close your eyes for me yeah? I promise I won't put it in. Well, not yet" he says and my eyes bug out at his words, my legs that are wrapped around his waist pull him even closer in an effort to close my legs.

"You like that? You like the idea of me claiming you as mine? Me being your first, your first everything" he says, leaning down and placing kisses on my neck, his warm breath against my sensitive skin driving me insane. I shudder at the feeling and he chuckles before placing a kiss under my ear, garnering another shudder in response.

"Answer me Bunny. You want me to be your first everything? Want me to learn and teach you everything you need to know about your body and what brings you pleasure?" he says while tracing his right hand along my torso, ghosting his fingertips along my waistband.

"Yes. Yes, I want you. Please just take it, take everything" I mumble and he tsks at me, again leaving me confused. "I'm not just gonna take everything. I'm giving you as much as I'm taking love. If you're letting me have you then you have me in return. Never forget that" he says and I nod my head. "I won't forget" I utter and he smiles in response before telling me to close my eyes again.

"Can I take these off bunny?" he asks in regards to my leggings and I mumble out a quick 'yes' trying to hold the whimpers at bay from the thought of me letting him have complete control over me. I know I have the power to stop everything but I wouldn't want to. Not with him.

As he slides everything off me he curses at the sight of me. "Fuck you're dripping" he rasps and I try to close my legs in response, now truly feeling that sense of vulnerability "You've gotta stay nice and still for me Darling. Can you do that?" he asks and I respond with a whimper which satisfies him, having mercy on me this time.

He drags a finger along my folds just as he had done before, gathering up my arousal before circling around my bud, gaining him a soft moan in response. "Be loud for me yeah? Wanna hear you moan my name" he prompts, wanting to hear what his name sounds like when it passes through my lips filled with ecstasy.

He doesn't wait for a response and just continues to play with me just as he did last night but as I feel myself getting closer he pulls away leaving me groaning from the feeling of getting that high again being taken away.

"Ready for something new princess?" he asks, caressing one of my thighs and placing a kiss on the inside of it. "W-wait!" I flinch nervously, not knowing how to feel about this. I've heard about it before but I never knew if it would be something that I'd like.

"You want me to stop?" he ask, pulling away a bit and letting me take control. "I'm scared, I-i I don't know what it'll feel like. I'm not sure if I'll like it" I admit, feeling as though I was about to cum just from the thought of him doing that to me.

"I can stop if you'd like, it's up to you princess. I wanna make you feel good and this is something I think you'll love. I know it's something I'd love to do to you if you'll let me" he says, coaxing me into it since he knows I'm just nervous, placing a few more kisses on my skin, this time switching to the other thigh.

I take a few breaths and think about it but decide to trust him, just as he asked me to. 

"I want you to do it" I let out, my cheeks burning up at the thought of what I'm asking for. "You want Daddy to eat you out?" he says smiling, loving the fact that I've still kept my eyes closed. I start to squirm, feeling his warm breath traveling further up my thigh, the anticipation driving me crazy. 

"P-please" I choke out, tears prickling my eyes as the intensity of the moment increases. "Patience Princess. Remember what I said about being loud?" he asks, his breath fanning directly over my core, making me lose all sense of feeling except for what he's barely doing to me. He hasn't even touched me and I'm about to cum. 

He leans in and gives a soft kiss to my clit, my legs spread wide and giving him full access to me. I take in a sharp breath at the sensation, my muscles locking up only for a moment but nonetheless catching his attention. 

"You want me to keep going?" he whispers into me, his nose nudging my clit, making me clench around nothing and he notices right away, utterly exposed to him. I moan out a ‘yes’ and he smiles, placing a kiss on my upper thigh before going back in, slowly making out with my clit, his tongue tracing circles around it before traveling down to my hole that's begging to be full. 

He licks inside me and watches my reaction, my brows drawn together and my lips parted, uttering curses when I feel him slip his tongue in further, the sensation driving me insane. My back arches off the table when he presses his face against me. His nose rubbing against my clit while his lip and tongue make out with my entrance. 

If I were to open my eyes now I bet all I could see was the world spinning around me, the feeling of being drunk on him being my drug of choice and I don't think I'll ever be able to live without it.

"Fuck Jungkook" I moan out, this being the first time I get close to screaming his name and he growls into me before going back to playing with my clit, making me do it again. "You sound so sweet Bunny, but you taste even sweeter" he groans, watching as my chest rises and falls in the baggy shirt I've still got on. 

"Do me a favor love and lift up your shirt, that's it. Wanna watch you play with your tits" he rasps out. Doing just as he asks I moan at the image of him watching me touch myself again, incredibly turned on by the though of it alone. 

"There you go, you're doing so good for me. Look so pretty laying here and letting me play with you in my office. Fuck you're driving me crazy" he praises making me whimper in response. 

"You like that? You like it when Daddy praises you? Like it when he tells you you're being so perfect for him? Pretty just wants to be worshiped doesn't she?" I let out a moan at the thought of him taking time and worshiping anything and everything about me. I try to close my legs again on impulse but he pries them open, growling at the thought of me hiding from him. 

"I'm not done with you" he says, biting the inside of my thigh leaving me arching my back off the desk again, squeezing my breasts and making him even hungrier for me if even possible. 

"Does my baby like pain? Does she want me to leave marks all over her as a reminder? A reminder of how you let me have my way with you while you were spread out for me on my desk. I'm not gonna be able to focus next time I have to work in here. Always gonna remember how sweet you taste and how adorable you sound"  he says, licking the area he just bit before sucking a mark into the same spot.

I groan at the feeling, the slight sting from the bruise making me want to ask him for more. To mark me everywhere like he said, always leaving a reminder. 

I scream at the feeling of him putting his mouth on me again, kissing, sucking, licking into me without mercy, catching me off guard by the intensity. I let out an incoherent string of curses, hoping he knows I'm begging for more and he moans against me, the vibrations sending shockwaves throughout my body. 

"Don't stop, please please don't stop" I scream, the first decipherable words I've uttered in a while. On the cusps of ecstasy he growls into me when he sees me throw my hand over my mouth, embarrasses by how loud I'm getting. "Louder" he growls as a warning, not a request and so I do. 

I get louder and louder, screaming his name with curses being the only other words in my vocabulary. I feel as his movements get more intense, now using his fingers as well and moments later a wave of pleasure is crashing down, making me let out any and every sound I could possibly make, my voice getting softer and softer and I start to come down. 

Just when I feel like he's gonna stop he doesn't, he picks up the pace again which makes me whine in overstimulation, trying to wiggle away from him. 

"You can give me one more can't you?" he asks, pulling back only to lick a stripe into me, taking time to suck my sensitive bud into his mouth. "N-no no I can't" I say, shaking my head and trying to push him off and he pulls back and chooses to lean over me. 

"Just one more Bunny. I know you can" he encourages. Although I'm reluctantly saying no we both know I want to experience it, wanna experience coming undone one right after the other. 

He comes down and kisses me, making me taste myself on his lips and I can't get enough of him, I want to be good for him, I want him. I whine when he delicately runs his fingers over me again "You're so swollen but I'm sure you can handle it, can't you Darling?" he taunts. 

He pulls away from my lips and trails his down, kissing and sucking marks all over my chest giving me a bit more time to recover before deciding. "Yes, fuck yes" I moan when he greedily sucks one of my nipples into his mouth. My back arches again when he moans around it, making me desperately want to cum again, wanting it as much as he does now. 

"Want you to watch me this time. Can you do that?" he ask, giving me one last kiss on the lips before sliding his tongue down my torso, stopping to bite my hip, breaking me out of the daze I'd been left in, asking me to answer.

I nod my head and he luckily takes that as a response, going easy on me since I'm still not fully there after what he'd done to me. What he's still doing to me...

~~~

After he makes me cum again I lose all sense of reality and I can barely tell up from down. He leaves the room only for a moment to get a warm towel to clean me up and I take that time to catch my breath, staring at the celling and trying to wrap my head around what just happened. 

I jump at the feeling of him cleaning me up gently and he apologizes, going a little slower with a lighter touch, doing just enough before helping me sit up. "You with me?" he asks, steadying me as I still sit on his desk, swaying back and forth. 

I turn my eyes to him and blink sleepily, smiling and taking in his handsome features and notice how red and swollen his lips have gotten. 

"There she is" he coos, brushing my hair back and cupping my face, looking at me as if I was incredibly precious to him. Little do I know that that's exactly what I am to him. 

That's a conversation for another time though. For now he'll just enjoy the dazed and freshly fucked look I give him, laughing at how adorable I look. 

"You wanna bath?" he asks and I nod, making the corner of his lips turn up before he scoops me up. I cuddle into him and link my arms around his neck, enjoying the slight bouncing sensation I feel with every step he takes. 

After he ascends the steps with ease I watch as we pass by my bedroom door and get confused as to why he's not taking me to bathe in there. I frown at him and he chuckles shaking his head and walking the both of us into his room.

"My bathtub is bigger and more comfortable" he explains and I nod, tightening my hold on him for only a moment before he guides me to sit on the edge of the tub. 

"You want a bubble bath?" he asks, turning to look through his cabinet and pulls out two bottles, one that smell of lavender and the other of eucalyptus. I point at the lavender and he smiles, nodding his head and putting the other one back before walking over to turn the faucet on, adjusting it until it's just the right temperature. 

"Do you take bubble baths Mr. Jeon?" I tease, earning a playful glare that breaks into a smirk moments later. "Who says grown men can't tale bubble baths? And it's Daddy to you" he says booping me on the nose, giving me butterflies. 

"You like being called Daddy huh?" I tease again and he crouches down in front of me, putting us at eye level. "I dunno, sounded like you liked it back there too" he says, smirking when he sees me avert my eyes, this time placing a kiss on my nose before straightening up. 

"Arms up" he orders and I lift them up so he can take off the last piece of clothing I've got left. "Who's shirt is this?" he asks, taking note of the oversize fit. "It's mine" I say truthfully, too quick for his liking though, making him suspicious of me. "Uh huh" he says slowly before throwing it in the corner of the bathroom. 

With a look like that even I can tell that I won't be getting that back anytime soon. It really is my shirt though...

After he pours in the bubbles and I'm satisfied by their bubbliness (which he reminds me is not a real word) I get in and moan at the feeling of the warmth enveloping me. My muscles losing all of their tension as I breathe in the calming scent of lavender surrounding me.

"You enjoying yourself?" he chuckles, leaning up against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest just as he had done this morning and I gulp at the sight. "Yeah, I needed this" I say, sinking further into it and being swallowed whole by the bubbles. "Well just call me if you need me" he says but before I can stop myself I quickly tell him 'No'.

He tilts his head to the side and smiles softly, taking in the precious sight of me surrounded by bubbles with almost a panicked look on my face, showing my honesty in wanting him to stay. "Can you sit with me maybe?" I ask, looking down and playing with the bubbles, shy that I'm begging for even more of his attention. 

"Sure Darling" he says, grabbing a stool that was tucked in a corner and placing it right next to the tub so he can stay with me. 

After a few moments of comfortable silence I break it with the one question that's been on my mind since I felt the air shift between us. 

"Can I ask you a question?" I say, looking up at him, noticing that he's started to play around with the bubbles that rest high above the surface. "No" he answers, pushing a dampened strand of hair off my face. 

"What?" I freeze, surprised at his answer. "I know what you're gonna ask so no. You can't, not yet. Let's get you cleaned up and well rested before we go there, alright?" he asks giving me a sad smile, so many words left unsaid behind those eyes, begging to be released.

I wait for a moment, studying him and notice that he looks almost...vulnerable. Something I had never seen from him before so I decide to just nod my head, returning the same smile before leaning back against the tub and sinking in a bit further, the water now just below my nose. 

"Aye! Don't you go drowning on me in there" he chuckles and my eyes smile, glad my efforts of lightening the mood had worked. 

Taking it a step further I choose violence and splash him, making the bottom of his shirt get wet. He gasps at the action and puts his hand over his chest "I make you a nice bath and this is how you repay me? The audacity!" he says dramatically before giving me a splash in return leaving me gasping just as he had done.  

After exchanging a few more splashes and laughs we call it a truce and we sit there talking and joking around until the water goes cold, going back to that sense of normalcy that I was so scared that we might've lost... 

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[autumnteawithfriends]

I despise CherriSnake and here’s why

Before we begin, something I want to clarify is that I don’t care if you ship or don’t ship CherriSnake. You do you, I’m not here to stop you and neither is this post. I just personally wanted to make a post on why I absolutely hate this ship.

Also, props to @cagneyblooms for helping me come up with some of the points.

REASON#1 - They don’t really work as partners for me

This is more of a personal reason to me, but CherriSnake is one of those ships to me where it feels like they absolutely can’t work out as a couple. Since the pilot is somewhat treated as canon in the show, they make no sense considering the fact that Pentious and Cherri absolutely despised eachother in the pilot. Both of them were locked in a turf war against one another and that hatred was mutual. Yet the show does a complete 180 from that and makes Pentious have this crush on Cherri out of nowhere, likely because Vivziepop wanted a straight HH ship and instead of deciding to just make a different character to pair Pentious/Cherri with or just make a entirely new ship. She just looked at the fandom, saw that CherriSnake was somewhat popular, and decided to make it canon last minute. CherriSnake during 2019-2023 just felt like a joke ship to me or something shippers who ship every character together would make. I mean, CherriSnake practically falls into a TON of popular tropes (Enemies/Rivals to Lovers, Angel x Demon, Girlboss x Goofball, probably way more) I’m not dissing this tropes, I even do these tropes myself with OC x Canon pairings I make. It’s just that CherriSnake felt rushed and last minute.

REASON#2 - They lack chemistry and actual interaction

To be fair, I partially put the blame on both Amazon Prime and Vivziepop for this. Amazon Prime because they only gave HH 8 episodes to really show its story, but I also blame Vivziepop for this. Because not only did she waste whatever time she had with those 8 episodes by showing us useless filler with the Vees and The Overlords instead of actually delving into the main sinners and why they’re in Hell. But she also crammed WAY too much content into 8 episodes instead of giving HH proper pacing.

But onto CherriSnake chemistry, Cherri and Pentious’s regular interactions pretty much prove to me that Vivziepop understands nothing about how actual relationships work and just make their dynamic one sided on Pentious’s part. Let’s be honest, Cherri does not reciprocate Pentious in the slightest considering the stuff she does to him. The shitty two dicks joke aside, not only was the kiss between her and Pentious forced because it was only a “heat of the moment” deal, but she also did this.

(Source: TV Tropes under Sir Pentious’s page)

I get that Cherri isn’t exactly a nicest sinner demon in Hazbin, but this combined with the two dicks joke and the kiss she and Pentious share makes her seem incredibly shallow (which she is considering how rushed this ship is in general) If Hazbin Hotel was like Bojack Horseman like some people claim it is, either these would happen.

A. Cherri realizes she was shallow for only wanting Pentious for his two dicks and never really considered how he felt, either leading Cherri and Pentious staying friends or Cherri breaking it off with him.

B. Pentious calls out Cherri for being shallow, thus giving both him and Cherri some development.

C. Cherri realizes that she only liked the kiss because it was less of them being in love and more of a heat of the moment adrenaline rush.

Or literally anything else. Cherri and Pentious never have a genuine interaction that either doesn’t make Cherri seem incredibly shallow or isn’t comedic.

As for the final reason, it may be a bit of a stretch, but I still think it counts.

REASON#3 - It’s borderline pedophillia

Again, props to @cagneyblooms for making me realize this point. Also, because pedophillia is very much a serious topic + I don’t want to throw the term around. I’ll be providing more evidence than the other two.

I’m not kidding, CherriSnake (atleast to me) becomes borderline pedophillic once you think about the lore Vivziepop spoon feeds us through her livestreams instead of diving deep into it. According to Vivziepop, Sir Pentious was in his mid 40s (best speculated to be 45) when he died while Cherri died in her early 20s, already raising a few eyebrows.

Yeah, this is already gross enough, but something that makes the age gap worse is the difference timeframe in which these two died in. Sir Pentious was confirmed to have died in 1888 London and Cherri Bomb died somewhere in the 80s. So not only was Pentious A GROWN ASS MAN WHO ALREADY HAD LIVED AND DIED BEFORE CHERRI WAS BORN, CHERRI WAS LIKELY BARELY A ADULT SINCE SHE WAS EITHER IN HER EARLY 20s AT BEST OR BARELY IN HER 20s AT WORST! This is also mentioning that Sir Pentious is also technically older than Cherri in Hell because depending on what exact year Cherri died in, Sir Pentious had either already spent nearly 100 years in Hell or he actually spent 100 years exactly in Hell when Cherri died. The only thing that really softens blow is that Pentious got a crush on her when they were both in Hell, meaning Cherri was technically still in her 20s in a way.

To conclude this, I hate CherriSnake. It’s one of the few Canon ships I actually despise since I either don’t care for Canon ships or I actually ship Canon couples as well. Even if Vivziepop wasn’t a terrible person, she’s still a really fucking awful writer who can’t stick to anything at all and is more concerned about her shitty Stoltliz soap opera rather than writing a good story. Writers like Vivziepop are the reason why research makes a good story.

[drawing-prompt-s]

GoFundMe - Apartment Transfer

Really did not think that I would be making one of these again. But yours truly, Prompt Prophet, cannot catch a break. Every time that I think I am it seems to them just be ripped right back away.

Note: any further proof you require, please contact me at my main, @prophet-rebellion, and I will do what I can to show you.

$400/$400

Links:

GoFundMe

PayPal

Venmo

Please note that this following update means that anybody who wanted to send additional funds for my current roommates cat - Do Not. I want nothing to do with her. Her cat did nothing but after all this I am done. Not funds had been sent for that cat yet but they had been inquired about being a possibility.

----------------

TL;DR - my apartment that told me they were moving my nightmare of a roommate with something called a forced transfer, then apparently reversed their decision (despite documentation) and did not tell me. The only way for me to get out now is to pay a $300 Transfer Fee + Applicable costs to get out as soon as I can. Giving up the apartment I have lived at for almost 2 years now.

The full explanation I gave is under the cut.

Please note I do not want to be doing this, and as soon as I hit $400 the GoFundMe is getting closed. People are struggling enough right now and I hate asking for monetary help when I know this much.

But god, for the sake of myself and my cat I cannot do this. I can't live here with her anymore, but I can't break my lease either.

FULL EXPLANATION (copied from GoFundMe):

Many of you know me for raising funds regarding my cats, either in the search for one of them as being missing, or more recently to raise funds for the other for ear mite treatment.

We reached the full goal of ear mite treatment within 24 hours of the fundraiser being set up - and it feels wrong in a sense to add the funds to that GoFundMe. The Ear Mite treatment is still happening and I fully intend to post an update photo of her at the vet there when I can.

However, to this end, so much as I do not want to be asking for help.

Living with my current roommate is hell. Cut and dry. She is vindictive, rude, loud, and confrontational. Her own cat has a tendency to attack my own and has on many occasions. This roommate was moved into the apartment in June, I have been here for more than a year and a half.

I will save you most of the story because there is an incredible amount, honestly, and I have cried more than my fair share today. My body is threatening more tears as I work through writing this now.

Incredibly important note: one of my old roommates is moving back in, she is a good friend of mine. However, given all that my current one has done, the original roommate refuses to move back if the current one is still present. I cannot blame her as the actions of my current roommate have driven me to locking myself in my room 24/7, along with my ESA. I wish that this was an exaggeration. It is not.

The brunt of the situation comes down to this:

We had mediation, my current roommate and I, and it was about as useless as you would believe it to be.

Nothing changed, in fact any things reverted back to the way they had been or seemingly got worse.

I went to speak with the property manager one-on-one to bring the full story to light along with evidence to backup what I was saying. I completely broke down at this point in time. I cannot break my lease, I cannot escape my current roommate - I am caged.

What was decided in that meeting was that they would be performing a forcible transfer of my roommate - she would be moving to another apartment, same layout, same size room, etc. But out. We would then phase my soon-to-be roommate back in (she had not originally renewed her lease because she was going to be gone for some time). This meeting was on Friday. I was told by the property manager that the following Monday she was going to have a meeting with my current roommate and inform her of this. The whole process would supposedly take about 2 weeks. (It should also be included that my current roommate has had multiple violations of her lease which I had documented). This decision was then further documented by an email they sent to my soon-to-be roommate stating that upon her arrival into the apartment, my current roommate would be gone. So this is an actual documented decision.

The two weeks was almost up and nothing had been heard, my roommate had not packed, etc. So yesterday (October 17th) I sent an email to which I got no reply. Today (October 18th) I went and spoke to the leasing manager (different from the Property Manager, whom is ranked just above her). the LM had no idea what I was talking about. She then spoke with the PM, who I had met with and called me back.

Apparently, the Property Manager, in her meeting the following Monday decided that actually we would continue to live together. My current roommate would no longer be moved out. This sudden change was not communicated to myself or my soon-to-be roommate who was refiling her lease under the impression the issue would be gone.

No curtsey to respond to my email, no honoring a DOCUMENTED decision. Etc. Just radio silence to me.

The only two options available are this - since they are now also giving my soon-to-be (hopefully) roommate a hard time about her income.

1. Myself and my soon-to-be roommate are moved from our original apartment to a different and fully vacant apartment.

(This is the decision we are going with on the grounds that my STB roommate be accepted).

2. My STB roommate does not move in at all and cancels her lease process, leaving me along in the apartment with my devil of a roommate and her cat that keeps attacking my own.

This second option is not sustainable. I am breaking, entirly. I am so tired, and so done with this all.

I do not want to give up where I have lived for almost two years becuase the actions of a vindictive new arrival. But I cannot stay here. If I could break my lease then I would. Because the Property Manager is the highest authority present at the office there is nobody I can go to above her that will hold her to her documented word and honor it. (I did but in a request to the corporation that owns my complex to speak with them about her conduct, but I doubt anything will come of it outside of retaliation).

The reality of option 1 however, is that it is no longer considered a forced transfer. Meaning that i have to pay the transfer fee listed in my lease of $300 plus applicable fees ("convenience" fee and card transfer %). I cannot move apartments until this fee is paid.

Therefore I am setting the amount at $400 to account for the percentage that GFM takes, and the amount that the apartments themselves will be taking on.

I have no set goal for how fast this will be filled, but by God, the sooner the better. I am not renewing my lease and remaining her after it ends in June.

[crowfromfoggyforest]

It's time for some Random Ramblings!

I love "Loser, Baby". The first time i heard it, it almost made me cry. And i've already seen several people talk about how wholesome the "you're not alone" thing is. But that wasn't even the part that touched me the most.

For me, it was "it's okay to be fucked up." Of course, i'm not saying that Angel (or people in general) shouldn't change, neither is Husk. But often, accepting your situation is the first step towards a better life.

And not only accepting in the sense of acknowledging - because Angel already knows that his life is shitty. But what Husk does is telling Angel he doesn't have to constantly beat himself up about it. Right now, Angel's life is hard, but he's probably making it even harder by thinking stuff like: "God, why did i mess up my life so badly? It's all my fault. I'm such a useless idiot. I got myself into this, and now i can't even get out. I really should be able to get out. I should at least try. But i'm not strong enough, that's so pathetic." And so on. And that's completely normal in his situation. But now, Husk offers him to stop thinking about how different his life should be and why it isn't like that, and just accept his current situation. Saying "i'm not judging you for being a loser, and neither should you."

And then (after that great moment where Husk sings "Baby, that's fine by me", and Angel smiles and it's so sweet)... i think it's also about self-esteem. Because when Angel starts singing, he sounds like he's almost proud of being a loser. Which, again, has nothing to do with not wanting to change or glorifying a horrible life. It's just that in his current job, Angel constantly has to put up a show pretending he feels like the sexiest person in the world. And to protect himself, even in his free time, he pretends he loves his life - when in reality, he has started hating all of it more and more. Not just his life, but also himself. This ties back to the beating himself up thing i talked about before, but it goes so much deeper. When Husk encourages him to sing in "Loser, Baby", he offers Angel to be proud of who he is, for the first time in decades. As messed up as his life is, it must be so liberating to allow yourself to say: "Hell yeah, that's me, i'm like this, so what?" This allows him to reconnect to who he is, realize that his life is worth living, so it's also worth changing.

And another little thing: I think the "i've got an appetite for..." part is also important. Because a healthy changing process also includes accepting what you can't change about yourself. Yes, Angel has always wanted certain things, he will never turn into a chaste nun. That's okay. He doesn't have to become a completely different person in order to have a better life, he can live with his "sinful" traits and still get better.

And lastly, i wanted to point out that "Loser, Baby" is a great title/ main chorus line because it symbolises taking the words you use to beat yourself up and turn them into something positive - because others and yourself can love you even for your bad parts.

[sevikasangel]

ﾐ☁︎ ❝ 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞: 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚

— contains: f!reader, sfw and nsfw content, possessiveness, gaslighting, girlbossing, gatekeeping, light blood mentions, manipulation, kidnapping, light bondage, mistress, pet play, stockholm complex.

— a/n: my first post of my wife! i love carmilla so much ughhh. also, this is the first post of my new upcoming event to celebrate 1k of us!

₊˚✧ ₊˚੭ 𝐬𝐟𝐰 ‧₊˚✧ ₊˚੭

♡ carmilla's obsession would begin when she firstly laid her eyes on your terrified, shaky form. you were a helpless, small little human being surrounded by Bloodthirsty vampires who apparently hadn't had anything but pigs as meals for ages.

❀ "well, well...what do we have here? hmm, i see...a pathetic little nothing of a girl...brought to get her blood drained by us, vampires...just like humans are meant to."

♡ elegant, slender hands comes up to cradle your face and the vampiress leans in to sniff your neck. you whimper at the sound of her quiet, nonchalant chuckle.

❀ "this one's the finest human i've seen, doesn't look so disgusting to me. how can you still be beautiful...have little useless accessories, well presenting clothes, soft hair...when your species is being slaughtered in war? is it really that important to you to show off, little human?"

♡ there was a hint of possessiveness on her tone. the thought of your own race laying eyes on such a fine specimen made carmilla's skin itch. inferior animals shouldn't have the right to have you. a perfect pet.

❀ "so beautiful this little pet is, eh? this one's mine. find something else to feast on."

♡ carmilla decided to take you with herself. you didn't know if you should consider her your saviour, since her true intentions seemed to be slavering you. the first thing she did was stripping you from your clothes and into a white, short dress with nothing beneath. she claimed it'd be for easier access when she needed. then she collared you with a chain choker, a little hook that would be used when a leash needed to be attached.

❀ "do not hide yourself from me. your body is mine to see and touch as i please. you are my pet from now on. you do as i say, when i say. and do not forget...because i hate repeating myself."

♡ carmilla would constantly drink from your blood. it was never enough to kill you, though enough to make you dizzy and light headed. however, if she was punishing you for disobeying, she'd do it until you pass out, causing you to be terrified that she was actually going to murder you.

♡ you are her darling. she is completely obsessed with you. perfect, perfect little pet...she would not allow you outside on your own, or around anybody else if she wasn't present. during meetings, she'd have you perfectly seated on the floor besides her chair with your leash in her hand.

♡ if another vampire ever attempted to drink from you or cause you harm, she would gruesomely kill them. you are hers. she's the only one who is ever allowed to hurt you. attacking you is a direct offence at the queen.

♡ she'd constantly be stalking you through the shadows in the palace. you'd feel her eyes on your preventing you from misbehaving. she's obsessed with her pet in the sickest way possible.

♡ carmilla would always talk about the cruelty and dangers of the world, ruining any ideas and hopes of escaping you had. with a hand to your hair and the other holding your throat, she'd look into your eyes and talk about how safe you are, and how grateful you should be for the protection and care of your mistress.

❀ "little pet...you know the world would lacerate you into pieces, don't you? such a fragile thing you are. you are so lucky you have a kind mistress to yourself...see, you owe me your loyalty and undying, everlasting love. i keep you safe, i give you everything you need. i would haaate it if you made me hurt you. if you aren't mine, you aren't anybody else's."

‧₊˚✧ ₊˚੭ 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 ‧₊˚✧ ₊˚੭

♡ carmilla is a top. she isn't ever going to be a bottom ever. she has this need to be in absolute control of you, in every way possible.

♡ definitely a hard, strict dom who will demand discipline and obedience from her submissive little human. she doesn't tolerate bratty behaviour at all.

♡ the only time you decided to be a brat, carmilla made you regret it profusely. she had you completely tied up in a tight hogtie position with all your holes filled, nipple clamps on your nipples as she flogged your back and ass.

❀ "little pet desires to act like a savage...you wanted to get on my nerves, didn't you? i will make you regret it. cry all you want, i don't care. your pathetic self needs to be put in its place. i am your mistress! you are a little human who owes me your soul. you are all mine to do as i please!"

♡ definitely has a blood kink. she loves drinking from your blood while her cold fingers toy with your clit and push into your dripping hole. you feel ashamed of yourself out of how much you enjoy this.

♡ carmilla likes tugging on your leash while she takes you from behind with her strap. her face always has the same small smirk and evil eyes.

❀ "aren't you embarassed, pet? you should be...can you hear how wet and sloppy your pussy is for your captor? this makes your mistress very pleased, my dirty little pet human."

♡ carmilla makes you straddle her foot, completely naked while she's at her office. she commands you to make yourself cum and not dare stop while she finished her paperwork, her free hand stroking your hair as she throws a praise here and there like you're an obedient pup.

♡ if she is feeling generous and you earn it, carmilla will let you eat her out. she will be sitting on the edge of the bed with you on your knees between her thighs. your hands are tied behind your back as she doesn't allow you to touch her. her grip on your hair is tight and she tugs on it, riding your face however she pleases. her moans are breathy and quiet. even like this, the queen doesn't lose her posture.

❀ "that's it, pet. please your mistress...hmmm...you're the best toy i've ever had...ugh...i will let you taste my cum as a reward...good pet...good pet..."

♡ carmilla always gives you aftercare following rough sessions. she'd prepare a hot bath for the both of you. the vampiress allows you to rest your head on her chest while you're both inside and she scrubs your body until it's relaxed and clean.

[kirbyprompts]

𝐒𝐈𝐗 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐒 ( 𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐔𝐆𝐎 ) 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

feel free to change the prompts as you see fit! warnings: mentions of death and murder and violence.

❝it’s almost midnight.❞

❝i’m not going to bet on my own death.❞

❝you’re a thief.❞

❝i know it comes easy, but try not to play dumb with me.❞

❝i’m fairly sure you’re threatening me. but i want to be more certain before i decide to what to do about it.❞

❝i can’t wait to wipe that look off your face.❞

❝things aren’t going quite as planned, are they?❞

❝do you really think that secret would die with me?❞

❝shame holds more value than coin ever can.❞

❝always one step ahead, aren’t you?❞

❝i’m a creature of habit.❞

❝when everyone knows you’re a monster, you needn’t waste time doing every monstrous thing.❞

❝men mock the gods until they need them.❞

❝get away from me.❞

❝i need a mug of the darkest, bitterest coffee i can find. or maybe a real punch to the jaw.❞

❝you look exhausted. will you sleep at all tonight?❞

❝if i want to watch men dig holes to fall into, i’ll find myself a cemetery.❞

❝you’re smart, but you need to learn patience.❞

❝are you going to explain any of this?❞

❝brick by brick, i will destroy you.❞

❝fate has plans for us all.❞

❝the brain is just another organ.❞

❝if you’d wanted to help me, you know you could have.❞

❝when have i ever done something for nothing?❞

❝i may die, but i’ll die on my feet with a knife in my hand.❞

❝i can take it.❞

❝you could have come to me on your hands and knees, and my answer would be the same.❞

❝you can keep your money. choke on it.❞

❝don’t i have a say in this? i’m sitting right here.❞

❝i’m not useless.❞

❝you wouldn’t know a good time if it sidled up to you and stuck a lollipop in your mouth.❞

❝the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet is to tell him you’re going to steal his watch.❞

❝it’s hard to keep track of all your wisdom.❞

❝i worry about everything. that’s why i’m still alive.❞

❝there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.❞

❝the heart is an arrow. it demands aim to land true.❞

❝i’m not sure i have a heart to give any more.❞

❝you at least owe me your best imitation of a human being.❞

❝i can tell you how this one ends, but you’re not going to like it.❞

❝did we win?❞

❝i don’t want to die.❞

❝you came back for me.❞

❝i protect my investments.❞

❝say you’re sorry.❞

❝you’re making me nervous.❞

❝i’m just doing my job. stop glaring at me.❞

❝my ghost won’t associate with your ghost.❞

❝don’t try to move, just rest.❞

❝i’m fine. you’re the one who got stabbed.❞

❝it’s just so much easier to kill people than take care of them.❞

❝don’t make me laugh. that feels awful.❞

❝how long was i out?❞

❝there was enough blood to paint a barn red.❞

❝i’m not a criminal.❞

❝if you aren’t born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances.❞

❝why do you think you know everything about me?❞

❝i want to show you something.❞

❝i’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.❞

❝i’ve never heard you admit you’re not good at something.❞

❝i don’t want this.❞

❝unclench your jaw. you’re going to grind your teeth down into nothing.❞

❝shut your eyes.❞

❝you don’t smell like roses any more.❞

❝it’s not normal for someone to be as stupid as they are tall, and yet there you stand.❞

❝i can’t believe your face is going to be the last thing i see before i die.❞

❝i hate the way you talk.❞

❝do you think i care what you like or don’t like?❞

❝there’s always more to lose.❞

❝what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?❞

❝i have been made to protect you. only in death will i be kept from this oath.❞

❝are you afraid of me?❞

❝all right, what do you do for fun?❞

❝what are you so afraid will happen? afraid you might start to like me?❞

❝let me go.❞

❝i will always be a threat to you.❞

❝we’re under attack.❞

❝you did everything but tell the truth.❞

❝what was that?❞

❝just keep talking.❞

❝doesn’t matter how big the gun is if you don’t know where to point it.❞

❝we’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.❞

❝what good is a lockpick without his picks?❞

❝you aren’t going to kill me, and i’m not going to pretend everything is okay.❞

❝stop being dense. you’re cuter when you’re smart.❞

❝have you ever been in a fight?❞

❝i don’t want to kill people, not really.❞

❝you’re obviously dangerous. i’d prefer you never became dangerous to me.❞

❝better terrible truths than kind lies.❞

❝your death belongs to me.❞

❝i want a job.❞

❝i practice the art of ‘pull his shirt over his head and punch till you see blood.'❞

❝a good magician isn’t much different from a proper thief.❞

❝why didn’t you tell me?❞

❝thank goodness we’re proper thieves.❞

❝if you survive and i don’t, make sure i have an open casket. the world deserves a few more moments with this face.❞

❝if we don’t survive this night, i will die unafraid. can you say the same?❞

❝you don’t have to do this, you know.❞

❝i’ve done worse.❞

❝i’m not sure why i began this, but i know why i have to finish. i know why fate brought me here, why it placed me in the path of this prize.❞

❝you’re very graceful in battle, just not while you’re plummeting.❞

❝you presume a great deal.❞

❝i learned the same way you learn about anything. take it apart.❞

❝who am i now?❞

❝you stink of decency.❞

❝we have a party to go to.❞

❝i’m afraid for you.❞

❝i need a dose of imminent peril to get my head straight.❞

❝you can help by shutting up and staying out of the way.❞

❝i don’t like that sound. what’s wrong?❞

❝i don’t love killing people.❞

❝i don’t have any business criticizing you.❞

❝you gave me the tools for vengeance when i needed them the most.❞

❝if we make it out of here alive, i’m going to kiss you unconscious.❞

❝have you come to kill me?❞

❝you shouldn’t make friends with crows.❞

❝you’ve cheated death too many times.❞

❝you won’t shoot me. you need information.❞

❝i. should. let. you. die.❞

❝don’t touch me.❞

❝you almost drowned. you should have drowned.❞

❝this would be a really good time to say you saw this coming.❞

❝i didn’t see this coming.❞

❝they won’t take me alive.❞

❝we’re all someone’s monster.❞

❝you look radiant.❞

❝it seems you prayed to the right god.❞

❝you know you can’t stop them all.❞

❝what will you do when there’s no more blood to shed or vengeance to take?❞

❝was there never another dream?❞

❝what do you want, then?❞

❝stay. stay here. stay with me.❞

❝i want you to stay. i want you to… i want you.❞

❝i don’t want you to see me like this.❞

❝we all carry our sins. i need you to live so i can atone for mine.❞

❝i want to feel safe again. i want to go home.❞

❝i’d like to say it’s been a pleasure, but i’m not that good a liar.❞

❝maybe i liked your stupid face.❞

❝i’m going to invent a new trick.❞

[endomentendo]

Now before you read this, please know I want to get through this on my own. Don’t read my essential crisis right now if you don’t want my goober self depressing you. I just need to vent, I’m okay… I think.

You wanna know why I like wonderland? Why I say absurd things or confusing remarks towards anything? Why I like the spiral from the Magnus archives?

Well it’s because I think I might be in a more confusing state of my life, mentally I think. My life is normal, fine, wonderful! I love my friends and family, I love my parents, I love my family.

But why do they love me? What did I do to deserve it? Am I selfish and unpleasant? Am I just a selfish man who won’t get a life? I don’t know. And this is where my mind keeps playing tricks on myself. It’s not helpful when I’m stuck in two life’s to which only one of my parents is aware. Understand I’m apart of a religion and was raised believing in god. But after the split, my world was shattered, only for a while. But after a few years I’ve now gotten into a double life, and was given a different world view. Tugged on one side to the other back and forth. I’m struggling trusting each of my actions. And understanding who I am.

This lead to me getting more and more confused. Now I’m asking questions what’s real or what isn’t? I’m questioning the start of the world, I cannot comprehend how a start is possible. Call me dumb because maybe I am, but why did the Big Bang explode? What even caused it? And if there was a cause, where do they come from? Why were they there to begin with?

Then questions became only assumptions of whatever came to mind. Then more questions. Why is there color? What even is past the color wheel? Why do specific food kill or support us? Why do we need food? Why are there germs, tiny things, MICROSCOPIC THINGS!? Why do they serve their purpose, are they even aware? Do I unconsciously crush an entire ecosystem, invisible to the naked eye, KILLING what were innocents who never knew I never knew of them.

Now I’m realizing how made up everything really is. There is no such thing as a name, we give names in order to know who is in front of us, to announce. Shouldn’t we remember by faces? Or mentioning a feature? Then again familiarity is also made up. Everything is made up! History made for us to remember, but that’s all it does. Capitalism is for order amongst chaos, but all we’re doing is making a made up system of passing cotton paper to each other just to feel like we earned something. It’s useless, pointless.

I’m afraid to go back into the dark of my eyes, to sleep and see nothing, yet be able to look around. Sweating as my anxiety grows.

Time doesn’t exist, it’s just there for us in order to comprehend age. Birthdays are pointless since we don’t grow up on one day, it’s every day. It’s pointless to show appreciation of your birth. Even my death is pointless. Even if I did something that is know in the world, no one would care after a year or day. It’s pointless and it doesn’t make sense. Why do we exist? What purpose?

To live? To have freedom? To serve? To feel like we are important in an empty impossibly vast universe that it too could be made up?

I don’t know why I’m afraid of pleasures, is it fear of god or disappointing others? Everyone else does these things, but why do I feel ashamed? Why do I hate myself when my actions would be forgotten once I’m gone. Why would we be gone?

WHY?

Why am I bringing this up? For affection? For others to suffer as well? Or for someone to say how hypocritical I am? Or how selfish and nonsensical it all is?

Please dont respond. I just want to understand…

[sir-subpar]

Alastor rant

Clearly I'm still working out the concepts, but I feel like I'm getting close and I wanted to talk about my ideas.

So, Alastor, the overlord, the sinner, the cannibal, the mysterious-

Okay, I'm messing around. Alastor does not live up to the description.

Alastor has Irked me for a while. I know all of the characters have, but Alastor in particular feels like one of the most disappointing, world breaking nothing of a character.

He's not scary, he doesn't look like a deer, his suit makes no sense, his motives don't make any sense.

He hates television yet the first thing we hear from him in the show is a TV ad. For some reason he's "really powerful" (for no reason), yet does next to nothing in the fight against Adam and is basically useless.

The only reason there's a manipulation works on Charlie is because she's written to be completely brainless. At least the pilot Charlie knew he was untrustworthy but was just trying to stick with her principles. Charlie in the show is a brainless mouth.

Alastor's rivalry with Lucifer is random, unexplained, and pointless.

I have a lot of issues with this "deer"

If only angel weapons can kill sinners, how come he does it all the time no problem? If he's ranked below Charlie why is she scared of him? If he doesn't believe in this hotel and does nothing to gain from it personally, why is he there? He doesn't even seem that happy to be there most of the time. Sure he smiles, but he always does that.

Why is he here?

What does he do? How does he help? How does he not help? Is he there to help? Is he there for entertainment like it was in the pilot? Does he like being there? Does he not like being there? Does he want to see the project fail or succeed? Does he care? Does he not care?

He is just.. there. He says some vague things that should be red flags, then does nothing.

(Maybe Charlie can't see the red flags because they blend in with every other red thing in the environment)

Also, I hate the fact that he's apparently asexual because he "can't find it in himsepf to care for others"

As an asexual person, I hate that so much. He doesn't need to have a reason to be asexual. He can just BE asexual. (Also being asexual does not mean that you don't care about people! It's just a way to describe a lack of sexual attraction and the different levels it's experienced.)

Also, for the longest time I had no idea Alastor was apparently mixed race. Apparently he is black or something? I honestly can't tell.

A lot of other people have discussed that though, and they would probably know more than I would as a white guy myself, so I reccomend seeing what POC have to say about it because they probably have more valuable things to share. Obviously, Racism is awful.

And it really doesn't help that one of the only characters in this show that's supposed to be a person of color, is a heartless, selfish, pompous cannibal.

If any person of color has something they would like to share, feel free to comment on this post, I want to hear a variety of opinions.

I have so many issues with this character, that redesigning him isn't enough for me. I want to completely reimagine him.

I will post that soon, I just wanted to let some of my frustrations out beforehand so I didn't make that post besides one novel. It will probably still be long, but hopefully this will shorten it a little bit.

[arpmemething2]

Quotes from Firefly/Serenity Sentence Starters

Send one for my muse’s reaction.   Feel free to change pronouns as needed.

“Let’s go be bad guys!”

“Ten percent of nothin’ is … let me do the math here … nothin’ into nothin’ … carry the nothin’ … ”

"We’re crooks. If everything were right, we’d be in jail.”

"Nothing buys bygones quicker than cash."

“Like woman, I am a mystery.”

“Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.”

“Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.”

“Well, maybe I’m not a fancy gentleman like you, with your … very fine hat. But I do business. We’re here for business.”

"How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?"

"Um, I’m trying to put this as delicately as I can…how do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?"

"Go to blackout! We're being buzzed!"

"Well, I guess death will solve the issue to everyone's satisfaction."

"Everybody plays each other. That's all anybody ever does. We play parts."

“Did something just fly off my gorram ship?”

"You guys had a riot... on account of me? My very own riot?"

“We’ve done the impossible, and that makes us mighty.”

"It's been a big day, what with the abduction, and all."

"I'm not sure you'd be safe."

"Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals… speak on every subject… then tie him up, and hold him over the volcano's edge. And on that day, you will finally meet the man."

“Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”

"Seems like a lovely little community of kidnappers."

"Maybe. Or maybe you're exactly where you ought to be."

“Can we maybe vote on the whole murdering people issue?”

"If you take sexual advantage of her, you will burn in a very special level of hell. The kind they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

"Go play with your rainstick."

"Don't make yourself sick."

“Mercy is the mark of a great man.”

"I don't suppose you'd find it up to the standards of your outings. More conversation, and somewhat less... petty theft and getting hit with pool cues."

"You gonna give us what's due us and every damn thing else on that boat. And I think maybe you gonna give me a little one-on-one time with the misses."

"I cannot abide useless people."

"Mmm. You missed a spot."

“Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything … ”

"This is the place. We'll buy you the time."

“Also? I can kill you with my brain.”

“Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.”

"It’s not embarrassing to be a virgin. It’s simply one’s state of being."

"That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth."

"I been waiting for you to kiss me since I showed you my guns."

"I'll be in my bunk."

"They don't like it when you shoot at 'em. I worked that out myself."

"Drunks are so cute."

“Going on a year now, nothins twixed my neathers not run on batteries.”

"He's not wildly interested in ingratiating himself with anyone, yet he's very protective of his crew. It's odd."

"How we treat our dead is part of what makes us different…than those did the slaughtering."

“The important thing is the spices. A man can live on packaged food from here ’til Judgment Day if he’s got enough rosemary.”

"I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."

"Okay! Everybody not talking about sex, in here. Everybody else, elsewhere."

“First rule of battle, little one … don’t ever let them know where you are.”

“Terse? I can be terse. Once, in flight school, I was laconic.”

"Don't you just love this party? Everything's so fancy and they have some kind of hot cheese over there!"

"I hate to bring up our imminent arrest during your crazy time, but we gotta go."

“I don’t think of myself as a lion. You might as well, though, I have a mighty roar.”

"You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle."

"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."

“I aim to misbehave.”

"Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals… speak on every subject… then tie him up, and hold him over the volcano's edge. And on that day, you will finally meet the man."

"Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this little moon."

“You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who’s in ruttin charge here.”

“I cannot abide useless people.”

"I I ever kill you, you’ll be awake, you’ll be facing me, and you’ll be armed."

"You are very much lacking in imagination.”

"Call me if anyone interesting shows up."

"Very well-bred petty crook knows that the small concealable weapons always go to the far left of the place setting."

"This must be what going mad feels like."

"You don't seem to be lookin' at the destinations. What you care about is the ships, and mine's the nicest."

"Remember that sex we were planning to have, ever again?"

"Someone's carryin' a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is, die of old age before it finds you."

“If anyone gets nosy, just …you know … shoot ’em. “

“WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!”

"I'll do anything you want me to. You know how I can make you feel."

"I need this man to tear all my clothes off."

“Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill ’em right back!”

"Sorry to interrupt, folks, but y'all got something that belongs to us, and we'd like it back."

“Next time you want to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.”

“I’ve been under fire before. Well … I’ve been in a fire. Actually, I was fired. I can handle myself.”

“I’ve been out of the abbey two days, I’ve beaten a lawman senseless, I’ve fallen in with criminals. I watched the captain shoot the man I swore to protect. And I’m not even sure if I think he was wrong.”

“In the maiden’s home, I heard talk of men who weren’t pleased with their brides…”

"Got your next heist planned?"

"It's good to be home."

"She still has the advantage over us."

"Do you know what the definition of a hero is? Someone who gets other people killed."

"Yeah, but she's our witch."

“We’re not gonna die. We can’t die. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.”

"Can you stop her from bein’ so cheerful?"

“How did your brain even learn human speech?”

“Yes sir, Captain Tightpants!”

"You are such a boob."

"You don't need strength as much as speed. We're fragile creatures. It takes less than a pound of pressure to cut skin."

"Your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.”

"You guys always bring me the very best violence. "

"Every problem is an opportunity in disguise."

“We got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss.”

"I'm assumin' y'all were listenin'? Did you hear us fight?"

"I... I threw up on your bed."

"I swallowed a bug."

"I'm... trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just... it's not coming."

"It sounds like the finest party I can imagine getting paid to go to."

“Now I did a job. I got nothing but trouble since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character so let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job. And then I get paid.”

"I said you're a coward and a piss-pot. Now what are you gonna do about it?"

"You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?"

“I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.”

“Well, we may not have parted on the best of terms. I realize certain words were exchanged. Also, certain… bullets.”

"You were truthful back in town. These are tough times. A man can get a job, he might not look too close at what that job is. But a man learns all the details of a situation like ours... well... then he has a choice."

"So you had to be naked?"

"So… are you enjoying your own nubile little slave girl?"

"Just keep walkin', preacher-man."

"We crashing again?"

“No power in the verse can stop me.”

"I know something ain't right."

“‘Course, there’re other schools of thought.”

"Can't miss a place you've never been."

"Tell me I'm pretty."

"Physical appearance doesn't matter so terribly. You look for compatibility of spirit. There's an energy about a person that's difficult to hide.You try to feel that."

"Can we fly somewhere with a beach?"

"What gives you the right to put her in a dangerous situation like this?"

"I think I've been kidnapped."

"Money wasn't good enough."

“Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle.”

"Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?"

"See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like."

"What was that?"

"Well, you were right about this being a bad idea."

"Haven't you killed me enough for one day?"

"You save his gorram life, he still takes the cargo."

[endereies]

Fuck it - Matt Sturniolo - Part 5

Spotify playlist:

Summary: Fem!oc x Matt Sturniolo

Growing up with parents who make her feel isolated, what happens when she meets Matt. A person who introduces her to new people, new experiences and new feelings.

Authors notes:

I was giggling a little too much writing this to be brutally honest

Warnings: swearing, family arguments

Word count: 3043

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

“Is this something we are meant to do?”

“Fuck it.”

I didn’t sleep well that night, it wasn’t that I was too hot or uncomfortable because that was far from the truth. I was simply awake with my thoughts, about the people I had met the previous evening, my mother who was expecting me to be home the next morning even if I can never expect her to be home herself. It bothered me that she always wanted me home for whenever she arrived and the one time, I leave the house I have one of the best nights I’ve had in a while. I finally got properly introduced to Chris and Nick, Nate and Madi were funny and so sweet to me even if they had only known me a few hours. I wasn’t going to sit in my home and rot while doing nothing but school work. I wanted to live the end of my teenage years, freely and not waiting for another disappointment when my family doesn’t show up.

It was about 5am when I had truly given up on getting a full night’s sleep, only having 3 hours altogether. I had tried things to stop my overthinking but my methods grew more useless the more I attempted to use them. I shove the duvet off of my body and shift across the matrass so my legs dangle off the edge of the bed. I stare out my cracked open door into the darkness and I hear faint, soft breathing from what I assume is Matt in the room opposite me. My eyes try to adjust to the darkness and I notice the white case of my headphones by the edge of the nightstand, a sigh escapes my lips as I reach other to it, simultaneously picking up my phone from beneath it. My screen lights up and I quickly deter it from my eye sight and turning down the brightness with them closed, having done it so many times before.

5:17am.

“Damn…” I whisper to myself, resting my phone back between my palm and my duvet. A cold breeze brushes past me, causing goose bumps to arise on my skin which I sooth with the warmth of my palm. I glance around my room and through a slightly ajar window, a street light glows onto the pavement below. I press my palms into the bed and push my myself up and approach the window, grabbing the handle and dragging it closer to me. The suction between each pane makes it easier to close it in my still tired state, immediately feeling warmer once I do.

The kitchen wasn’t much warmer than the guest room back upstairs, even if all the windows were now shut. By now, I figured I was far away enough from everyone else that I could turn on a light rather than walking blind in a house I was yet to recognise. My eyes closed anticipation the beams of light whilst my hands scaled the wall, stopping by a panel that stuck out the wall. I traced my fingers across the edge before finding the main switch and pushing with my index finger. My eyelids flicker slightly subconsciously, adjusting slowly to the brightness of the light before opening my eyes weakly.

I hated not knowing where anything was, having to scan the cupboards repeaedtly, hoping to find any sort of glass for some water. I had left doors creaked open as a placeholder for where I had already looked once.

Of course it’s the last place I check.

I sigh, half with relief, the other with anger and reach for a rounded glass directly placed before me. I drag it across the shelf, tightening my grip once half of it is off of it. I place the majority of my weight on the drying board next to sink and hold the glass underneath the faucet. Water steadily streams out of it, dripping down the edge of the glass purposefully as to lessen the sound I create. A small squeak echoes from between my hand and the glass due to my hands grip becoming ineffective.

My body turns and leans against the counter top, pressed firmly into my spine, my lack of concern of the pain reminded me of my tiredness. My elbows lay on the side allowing me to support myself for just a moment. The weight lifted off of my feet allowed me to just exist and dragged myself away from the thoughts I had earlier.

Every attempt to shrug off the tired feeling resulted in failure, grasping my surroundings fully grew harder as time went on. My eyes were narrowing and I had to place my drink down on the side so that I wouldn’t drop it. I had barely drunk any of it however, the only signs of use being the copious amounts of finger prints that outline it.

I was getting overwhelmed and I knew that, the weight of my body, returned much stronger than before.

So did the thoughts.

My mother, constantly needing me even if I needed her. The isolation I’ve had most my life and how one night made me entire mindset crumble. I always enjoyed being alone and in my own silence but since I met Matt all it has done has suffocated me. I dreaded having to leave practice in the mornings when Chris or Nick came along. I couldn’t play my guitar as often at home anymore. Without any drums it felt wrong.

Maybe it was the tiredness or stress but everything came flooding in a sudden moment.

I was tired, just tired. Some rest would calm me down.

“Alyia?” My jolt my head upwards and face where the voice came from, almost panicked. My body, no longer connected to the counter feels the cold air wrap around my back, making me shiver.

“Alyia, what are you doing up.”

“Matt. I’m sorry I couldn’t sleep and I got some water and the light must’ve woken you up.” I spit out words at him, rambling. My hands demonstrate my actions with the remnants of a few cupboards which stayed open.

“It wasn’t you; it was the thunder. I’m a light sleeper so I’m used to it by now.” His fingers pointing to an uncovered window which projects flashes of lights and spits of rainfall.

“Thunder...?”

“Yeah? Its quite loud?” He approaches me and notices my tense state quite quickly. No matter how tired he is, he is always so observant.

“Everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah all fine..why?”

“Really? You are so tense, you’re jumpy at everything. You’ve obviously zoned out for a while if you haven’t even noticed the fucking thunder outside and finally. You haven’t slept. Even If you hadn’t told me, your eyes are red and you are so dazed.”

Wow.

I stand in silence, avoiding any form of eye contact so he couldn’t point anything else out to me. I didn’t need him telling me what I already knew.

“Is this to do with the phone call from your mother last night.” He speaks so bluntly, not trying to avoid any confrontation. Yet, that’s all I wanted to avoid and I think he knew that.

“Alyia.”

“Partially. I don’t know Matt, I’m not in the mood for this, especially with you.”

Shit

“Why not with me…?” He automatically creates a larger distance between us for a moment and dims his voice making it barely audible.

“C’mon. I mean… we hardly know each other, rig-”

“I want to know you.”

I practically freeze in my spot and he rubs his neck softly and drags his palm up and down his arm lightly.

“You do?”

“You doubted that?”

“Don’t act like you didn’t know that, I stay to practise with you when I can, I make extra meetings for the English project simply because they typically end with us hanging out over a movie or something.” He starts to walk closer. “I want to be your friend Alyia. Besides you are one of the only friends I have that Nick hasn’t shit talked right away and that Chris feels comfortable being himself around.”

“I am?”

“You are. And frankly you are fucking awesome at guitar, don’t think those mornings are gonna stop any time soon.”

“I want to be your friend Alyia.” He gives me a genuine smile but I give him a tight-lipped weak one back.

“If you don’t want to talk, I get it, but you don’t have to restrict yourself, okay?” I can only nod in response but he only repeats himself. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

He gives a quiet hum and looks at me, his stare lingering slightly. His body turns and he walks back towards the door frame. I watch him as he quickly spins back to face me, leaning against the door frame, his elbow propped against it and his hand dangling just above his hair which is a little more fluffy than normal. His hips swivel slightly and show of a slight v-line when his shirt lifts ever so slightly.

I quickly look away before my body can react.

“Alyia? Promise me you’ll try and sleep later?” I give a small nod, knowing I won’t be able to keep that promise later on.

“Thanks sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. That’s fucking new…

He just nods his head and walks around the corner, letting his touch cling to the doorframe as long as possible. He left me in the same place I started in but this time I felt so much more comforted.

He wanted me around, and I could not stop smiling about it.

He saw me in the way I wanted to be seem by anyone for years. Other than Jenny, I had no one else in my life and it felt nice being able to rely on someone else for once.

The drums were a bonus.

-

Following through with Matt’s promise didn’t exactly fulfil itself since I stayed up the remainder of the night. The sun had started to rise not even an hour later and after that, it was a lost cause. While the rays of light that etched through the window helped the tiredness to go away, it lingered for the next few hours, making yawning a common occurrence.

I had returned to the kitchen at about 9am and was greeted by Nick eating some cereal with his back turned to me. It no longer felt as negative as it did a few hours ago but the glass that stayed on the side nearly reminded me of why I went downstairs in the first place.

Suddenly two hands place at my shoulders and squeeze them slightly before speaking loudly into my ear.

“Alyia! Morning.” Chris’s voice wasn’t hard to recognise with it being much louder than the others.

“Hey Chris.” I giggle at his enthusiasm and step to the side allowing him to walk past and immediately run to get a Pepsi replacing the silence with a crack of the can.

Chris’s hands are quickly replaced by Matt’s, his touch feeling gentler than Chris’s.

“Good morning, Alyia…sleep well?” I quietly shake my head I response, brushing a loose strand behind my ear.

His fingers trace down my arm as he walks past me casually to greet Nick and Chris.

I rub my eyes and follow Matt’s actions. The counter top didn’t feel as protruding when I leant on it again but my hand trembled a little when I picked up the glass, the water still cold. I take a deep breath and try and calm down until I remember I had to be back home as soon as possible for my mother.

“Shit…” I mutter under my breath but I get eyes from Nick and Matt, Chris being oblivious as always.

“You alright over there?” Nick placed his spoon back in his bowl and spun the chair to face me.

“Huh? Oh yeah don’t worry, I just need to get back soon for my mother.”

“Does it have to be this soon?” Nick presses the question a little but Matt quickly shuts it down, recalling parts of the phone call from last night.

“Ill drop you back, let me get changed.” He places his root beer by the sink and walks quickly out the room and I hear his footsteps fade.

“You don’t have to- “

“I wouldn’t try that kid, Matt is stubborn, I’d just recommend getting changed too before he drags you out the house like that”. I grimace a little at that but follow Chris’s words none-the-less.

I swiftly grab the clothes from the day before and exchange them, only taking when putting my hair back into its claw clip. I shimmy my skirt down on my hips and tuck my jumper into the front half of it. I gather up the clothes I swapped and fold them roughly and place them on the bed and pull the duvet back to make it as tidy as I could. I go to leave the room and bump into Matt leaving his.

An ordinary black shirt which left his tattoos on show and camo cargos which sagged at his hips causing them to gather at his ankles.

“Oh hi, you ready?”

“Matt, I can take the bu-“

“Awesome, I’ll get my keys” A smile plastered on his face as he ignores my back talk and runs down the stairs like an excitable child.

I just sigh and follow him to gather the small things I took out my backpack last night like my headphones and charger.

I walk past the kitchen almost losing track of Matt in the process, only roughly mapping out the house as I do so.

“Matt you really don’t have to at al-“ I get cut off again by him grabbing my wrist and walking me out the house only allowing me to quickly yell out a goodbye aimed at Nick and Chris.

“I’m not having you protest this, alright kid?” I mutter something dull but reluctantly agree and get into the passenger side of the minivan.

My backpack rested upon my feet and I kick it off to prevent my leg going numb. Although halfway through the drive I had started to hope that I left it on to give me something else to think about other than the silence. It had been 10 minutes and he hadn’t said a single word. All he had done was send me looks that I could feel burning into my skull.

“What?”

“What, what exactly?” He turns his face away from me and grips the steering wheel.

“Don’t play dumb Matt. You keep looking over and haven’t said a thing to me.”

“You didn’t ask to talk to me.”

“We both know that doesn’t stop you. So what is it.”

“Last night… you seemed so off and now suddenly you seem perfectly okay again, makes me curious is all.” His hands fall from the wheel when we approach a red light but I turn away from his gaze to face out my window.

“Stay curious.”

“I know, I know…you don’t wanna tell me. Doesn’t mean I cant wonder about it.”

“I guess…” my voice begins to mumble again.

“Sorry I just…don’t wanna talk about last night, or even think about it.”

“Even what I said to you?” Matt finally points his gaze back onto me again for a moment and I freeze under his words.

“Okay fine, most of last night.” I feel his grin through his words.

“Good, don’t forget that, alright.”

“You can pull over here…” The subject change seemed to change Matt’s attitude quickly as he pulled into the side of the road slowly, the car titling when it hit the curb.

“Thank you for dropping me off” I pull my backpack up to meet my lap.

“Never a problem, call me if you need anything, yeah?” His words subtly pointing to the memories of last night.

Of course I will.

“Where have you been, I’ve been worried sick.” I had just shut the door and already had her voice ringing in my ears.

“Good morning to you too, mother.” I give her a blank stare, holding eye contact as my bag falls off my shoulder and slamming to the floor.

“Now, explain what was more important than seeing your mother after a week of work.”

“I didn’t know you would be home today, you had sai-.”

“I left a voicemail, well your father did.” I tuned out her words after that and pulled my phone out my pocket to check voice mails.

*you have one new message*

“Good morning Ally, your mother and I got held behind in a meeting and missed our flight but we are getting the next one and should be home tomorrow night. We’ll see you then darling. Love you.”

Oh.

“I did tell you Ally, I don’t want to argue.” I pathetically roll my eyes causing her to grimace.

“Alyia, our work is what pays for you to go to that school and we try and be here as much as we ca-“

“So where is father.”

“Alyia. It is rude to interrupt.” She pinches the bridge of her nose before staring at me.

“Where is father.”

“He is doing some small errands, and im going to join him and go shopping, I want you to make sure your homework is done, alright?”

“Yes, mother.” I drag my backpack across the floor as I start to walk up to my bedroom which I slam the door to.

I slump down on my bed and run my fingers through my hair, not caring about the pain that knots in it create. I was never one to enjoy confrontations with my mother, she was just so intense all the time and being blunt to a tired child was never a good combination. We both knew that. My eyes lightly pricked with tears and I felt pathetic for feeling that way.

I saw my over-ear headphones that I had left on charge on my desk and I snatched them from the cable. I turned on my phone again and went on to Spotify and connected my headphones.

The first song that blasted was dark red – Steve lacy

Of fucking course.

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @sturniolosmind @worldlxvlys @patscorner @breeloveschris @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07

[thelovelydoggycatmadi]

Aphmau facts I refuse to acknowledge on principal alone

(slight nsfw)

Zane being a brony

bronies not only ruined there own show but made the worst creepypasta’s back in the day. Also I have personal beef with a few of them bitches (including myself if you know you know)

Brony Zane is cringe have him collect plushies instead

2. Zane has a flat ass

absolutely lies and slander. Katelyn does though yes I’m 100% biased. She has no ass only muscle

3. Laurence’s fashion sense

I don’t even like Laurence but for fucks sakes why does he always look somewhere between a tik tok e-boy and a freshly divorced white suburban dad about to pick up his kid from soccer.

4. Zane having a crush on aph (or any of season 3 really)

This could’ve been interesting if he acted like an actual adult. Listen sometimes I like a whiny miserable little man but I don’t like a full blown 27 year old crying like a fucking baby over a girl that is already IN A RELATIONSHIP even want him. That’s not just unattractive it’s fucking weird. It’s yet another case of an interesting concept done poorly. Just because he doesn’t have any social skills doesn’t mean decorum always needs to be thrown out the window.

let’s not forget the time he literally said he want to repopulate with her. WHILE STILL LIVING WITH AARON. No I’m not kidding. What the FUCK.

5. ghost/kim

Ghost/Emmalyn is just such a bad character. She literally attempts to SA/full blown Sa’s Zane I don’t need to say anymore. And Kim is straight up just useless she does absolutely nothing to help the cast or the plot other than be a vessel. At least characters that I dislike (as people) make me feel something. Which makes me hate her more. Her character is literally nothing without ghost.

6. Jess implying Ein is a better villain than Zane.

fuccccck off. I don’t even like MCD but at least Zane made his own plans and didn’t need plot device to the tenth degree to make him hateable.

7. Mystreet/McD are in the same universe/timeline

Every time I think about the ladder half of season 6 i have an aneurism. Like every-time I rewatch with friends I forget everything that’s told to us.

8. Jess imply Melicinda was going to be endgame

This is gonna get me in get water maybe but I- I don’t get it guys. I mean at least Garrence I can’t get even though I’m personally not a huge fan. My feelings about Melissa aside- there’s nothing here. Literally nothing. Baron. The fruit is dryer than a raisin. So why Jess bought into it or tried to set it up- I’ll never know. Baiting your queer audience is trendy I guess.

8. Zanvis.

I’ve seen things. Things that will never be scorched from my mind. No matter how much bleach I put on the stain. It will never leave me… god… is this why you won’t come back to us? Because of what we have rot on your beautiful earth?

(just to be clear guys I’m referring to the fanart and how Jess treated it like her version of septiplier)

I’ll put more down here if I think of anything else.

[madrone33]

Ok, so heavy SPOILER WARNING for Pjo episode 6! And the rest of the show since I have read the book! Just, y’know, there’s your warning.

I’d also like to preface this by saying this post will be a rambling, not at all ordered, completely unscripted, kinda-rant kinda-essay of my thoughts on the episode, which means it is inherently biassed and completely composed of my thoughts, feelings, and opinions! None of this is fact, and I’m not trying to force my opinion on you. If you think differently or disagree, that’s completely fine! I would hate to live in a world full of clones of myself lol

With that out of the way, onto whatever this will turn out to be!

Ok, so I really liked the Hermes scene. That part was well written and acted. The family drama and guilt and blame is this show is really complex and everyone just needs multiple hugs tbh. Also, seeing a bit of Hermes’ powers was interesting.

I’m intrigued to know more about Percy’s flashback, while at the same time dreading it because I know it’ll be something heart wrenching and traumatic for poor Percy.

Hermes not agreeing to help them was a kinda foregone conclusion; it would be way too easy for them if he just let them into the Underworld, and we can’t make things easy for them now, can we :D

The Kronos stuff was cool to see, with Luke desperately covering his ass lmao, and Percy confiding in Annabeth. The slight change in Iris Messaging, with them not needing water and using a crystal instead was good. Both that it saved time and that it’s more believable. If your one communication tool is rainbows, of course you’d carry around a portable crystal to make ‘em.

It does make me wonder if they’re ever going to explain that technology - as in phones - makes it easier for monsters to find you. ‘Cause currently I… don’t think that’s been made clear to non-book audiences? Maybe I missed it in an earlier episode? Idk.

The scene where they released the trafficked animals was funny, and Grover completely overlooking if humans would get hurt and only thinking of the animals was a nice touch. I get why they didn’t show the animal abuse explicitly, even if I liked how in the books it was shown more clearly.

Them actually realising that the Lotus Hotel is connected to the Lotus Eaters from the Odyssey was good. I like how they’re identifying the threats faster in the show, whereas in the book they really fell for the monsters’ traps a lot. And the fact that they were on guard and were thinking that it was the food to watch out for added a different kind of danger than the books, where it was more just the readers sensing something wrong and hoping they’d not get trapped.

I like that the Lotus was actually being pumped into the air the whole time. And the fact that Percy and Annabeth being together helped them remember what they were actually there for vs Grover being alone and succumbing quicker was logical.

I didn’t like what they did with Grover so much. Him finding a fellow Satyr and trying to talk to him the way that he can’t to Percy and Annabeth was sad, but then, uh, idk he kinda just felt a bit useless? And the Satyr (who’s name I’ve completely forgotten oops) I think was supposed to be seen as funny? But he was… not. He wasn’t funny. And Grover was just very meh.

Like, this is one of those instances where I would’ve liked for them to change it from the books. In the books they all get split up become slowly addicted to the games in the Lotus Hotel and all that, and then Percy snaps out of it and he goes to wake up Annabeth and Grover, and they find Grover playing something like ‘Destroying Humanity’ and then drag him out of there. Which is basically what happens here, but it’s just-

They’ve changed so many other things for the better, turning moments from a randomness scene to a character beat. And I think they tried to do that by adding the Satyr and the ‘Finding Pan’ game, but it just. Didn’t work for me. He was just kinda there and did basically nothing and, like.

Ok ok so my main problem with this episode is the lack of tension.

First off, they were more meandering around looking for Hermes, it didn’t seem like they were that worried they might not find him. Like, they literally just wandered around and found him, without asking for any directions from strange people that might’ve given some insight into how sus this place is, or even having a quick montage cut of them jogging around peering into shady places. They just- walk around slowly and then there he is. Incredible.

Second, I know the Lotus is supposed to be like a drug, where you forget things and just focus on feeling good all the time, but I would’ve liked if Grover figured out that it was in the air, or that too much time has passed, and tries to fight it or smth?

Like, he starts to forget, and knows he’s forgetting something important, and tries to find- someone- the people he knows he came here with- not just so they can help him remember but to warn them that they were wrong, and it’s not just if you eat the food it’s everywhere and they need to go because the time- it’s all slipping away and he can’t let them be trapped here-

But something or someone stops him, hold him back, makes it so he can’t, and slowly he starts to forget why he’s fighting or what he’s fighting for and then he succumbs, and the switch you can see in him from scared-determined-panicked to dazed-confused-happy is terrifying.

And now we viewers are on the edges of our seats, because now we know that Percy and Annabeth are in so much more danger than we thought, and now there’s a time limit, and now Grover is trapped in his own mind slowly losing himself, and now we’re wondering when it’s going to start happening to Percy and Annabeth too, and now we really need them to realise and save Grover and get the fuck out of there before it’s too late-

But uh, yeah, we… didn’t get that. Instead it was almost- portrayed as comical? Like, there wasn’t a lot of weight put on it.

Old man Satyr keeps forgetting ha ha ha. Oh Grover’s forgetting too? Wow it’s gonna be super hard to get out of that one! Oh, no it’s super easy. Barely an inconvenience! Oh really? Yeah, Percy and Annabeth have barely started to forget anything important, and then they happen to look up and see the Satyr and get reminded of Grover. And then there’s a super short chase scene and then jump cut to them finding Grover playing video games and oh funny, he doesn’t remember them! But it’s fine, it actually doesn’t matter, they get him and go and he remembers on his own a few minutes later! 😀

Speaking of; I might have missed something but did Annabeth do anything at all during that chase scene? Like, I think she went another route to try and cut him off, but then she just kinda disappears, Percy tackles him, and she never shows up…? Idk, I’ll rewatch it sometime, but as of now it’s very strange in my mind.

The car scene was kinda funny, but again, not a lot of tension at all.

(Though as someone learning how to drive that scene made me cringe because of how relatable it was lmao. Honestly, Percy drove way too well for a first timer in a crowded parking lot, and the fact that he actually made that turn decently well? Yeah, someone give him a pat on the back lol.)

… Okay so I just thought of something that is unrealistic and wildly deviating from the books to the point that it’s basically just fanfic, but hey, they deviated anyway when they introduced Hermes this early and it’s my shitty tumblr post so - imagine if there was a car chase. There. I said it. If you’re going to make Percy drive a basically stolen taxi through Los Angeles, fucking commit and make him have to outrun the cops/some monster until they manage to activate whatever makes the car teleport!

Like, do an ‘IKEA after dark’ situation where things are all happy go lucky in the club at first, and then after they talk to Hermes and the Lotus starts effecting them, shit starts to get weird, and the patrons around them start becoming strange, and there’s a creeping sense of wrong wrong wrong as they rush to find Grover and then they find him but he’s wrong, and he looks at them like they’re strangers and they don’t know how to fix it, so all they can do is grab him and run, barely remembering where they’re going or why, but they’re holding themselves together, and when one starts to slip the others are there to haul them forward and remind them what they’re doing.

They have car keys in hand, and they might not know how to drive but fuck it they need to go, so bring on the dramatic dark lighting and wild driving and many bumpy, jerky, shit-we-almost-ran-over-something-important escapades, sirens closing in behind them and then he takes a wrong turn and stares wide eyed into the headlights of an incoming truck, flinches back, eyes slaming shut and-

Silence broken only by crashing waves. Insert Santa Monica scene after slightly hysterical laughter because holy fuck they survived.

… Um, yeah soz, idk where that came from lmao.

Moving on! So, I didn’t mind them getting Hermes’ car too much. Like, hell yes she pickpockets a god. But I didn’t like the way that Annabeth got the keys. Like, he’s the God of Thieves and she’s pretty smart. No way she wouldn’t realise that he let her take them.

A way to make it better would’ve been if he’d done some subtle shit, and she’d done some subtle shit, and then it was shown with some shots that here he puts his keys in this pocket, and then a few shots later maybe she brushes past him, or she “leaves” the room but you can fuzzily see pot plant leaves moving in the background if you know to look for it, and then boom, no more keys in his pocket, and when Percy catches up with her she reveals that Hermes let her take them, and we’re like “ahh, of course, can’t help directly but isn’t stopping them if they take initiative, cool cool.”

But nope. She got they keys, thinks she somehow stole them without his knowledge, and then it’s revealed that, duh, he knew, and they’re just like, welp, guess we should’ve known! Yeah. You should’ve. Annabeth is just- not? She’s just not? Like this? This isn’t how she would- do stuff. She’s smarter than that.

But see what I mean? No tension. Need to find Hermes, oh there he is. He won’t help them, but they got his keys. Lost Grover, but found him almost right away. Don’t know how to drive, but whatever lets go. Grover lost his memory, but nah he’s got it back just fine.

Yeahhh. Idk it just felt weirdly lacking.

What also felt weirdly lacking was the reveal that the Solstice has passed and the gods are going to war.

So, most of that underwater bit wasn’t how the books went, but I’m kinda withholding judgement on how I feel depending on how the next two episodes handle it.

The deadline being up and the gods already going to war? I don’t like it, but yeah, I can see how it might work with the themes laid out.

This isn’t just a war, it’s a family fighting, and instead of Percy just doing it because it’s The Quest, this - his father releasing him from the quest, and Ares telling him it doesn’t matter and they’d go to war regardless of it the Bolt is found, and everyone saying it’s not his place - it gives Percy agency because he’s choosing to forge ahead and save his mother, and find the bolt, and save this family he’s become a part of from itself. It’s his choice now. I can see why they made that change.

Though for some reason the pacing was weird, and the reveal that war was literally upon them was… eh? Like, “oh btw you’re too late and now we’re going to war.” “Huh, interesting, but I’m still going.” Like I said; lack of tension. There’s just no real urgency. It went really fast, or maybe too slow? Idk, there was just something missing.

The four pearls thing? I was very thrown by that, and I’m still pretty uncertain on if that’ll remove all the tension in the Underworld part. Because the whole conflict is if he’ll choose going after the Bolt and saving the Olympians? Or will he choose his mother and doom them to war?

If he has four pearls, then he can do both, which means zero stakes. But I’ve read some other people’s opinions, and I agree that one of those pearls is definitely getting lost/broken/used up before he can give it to her, which means this was done to raise hopes and then bring them crashing down, so I’m withholding judgement and hoping that it won’t be too contrived.

And I don’t like that Poseidon basically says he wants Percy to save Sally too, because a huge part of Percy’s dilemma was that the gods didn’t understand or agree with Percy wanting to save his mum.

Poseidon being on Percy’s side certainly serves the themes the episode set up, with Hermes wanting to be there for his family and failing, this time with Poseidon trying to be there for Percy and Sally, and hopefully succeeding. But it just feels like Percy isn’t as alone as he should be, which is good for him as a person, but bad from a writing standpoint because it makes it feel too easy.

In the books, it’s kinda an act of rebellion, that he would even think of choosing a mortal over the gods, but here he’s… not? Because the gods - or at least Hephestus, Hermes and Poseidon - are on his side. So he’s not choosing a mortal over the gods, he’s just saving his mum, and half the gods have given him the thumbs up to do it.

Not saying they weren’t secretly supporting him in the books too, but Percy didn’t think they were. He felt alone. He felt the pressure of the consequences that would come with whatever descision he made. In the show he’s not really going against the gods, because the gods are actively endorsing him. Which means, say it with me, no tension.

Anyway, like I said: withholding judgment. I'll see how the next ones go, and then come to a proper conclusion based on a complete picture.

Also, side note: When the nereid said, “What belongs to the sea can always return” all I was thinking was the musical and Poseidon’s goofy ass voice saying “It’s a SeAShElL” 😂

Oh and btw, the graphics/makeup/cgi of the nereid was well done to my untrained eye. I have no idea about how it’s done, or if it’s actually shitty in the professional sphere, but I thought it was pretty, so- thumbs up from me.

Though the whole scene at the beach and swimming to her was so dark I literally had to turn my tv’s brightness up to see what was happening, which I also had to do with the Theme Park last episode, and I almost did with the Minatour. Man, they really have a problem with lighting during the night scenes.

But just throughout the whole episode, there's just this feeling of non-urgency. Like, in the episode where time is the most important thing, it... doesn't really feel like it matters all that much.

Um, yeah. I think that was all I wanted to say…

In conclusion, I liked Hermes, aaand not much else. It was still a fun episode, but just all round pretty iffy plot wise. Rip.

I shall leave this with saying WE FINALLY GOT WISE GIRL!! 🥳

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️🎵Can We Just Talk?🎵☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 7 “Spit It Out”

Yeah, I'm back already...

Again, I'm aware of Season 3's finale airing. Didn't watch it obviously.

But I will say, it's kinda difficult to not be sick to your stomach when ALL you hear about something is HATE.

Like, I have not heard a single positive thing about Season 3 and I'm kinda nervous now. (Is it really THAT bad?)

That's why I'm just doing my own thing with the first season and reacting to it in my "Just enjoy it" way. (It's not same as "Turn your brain off" because "Turn your brain off" implies not paying attention)

I will remind everyone, I was NOT recommended this show. The people who replied to me asking if I should watch it said "NO. Don't watch it. It's awful."

So I CHOSE to do this at my own will. I have no one to blame but myself.

I'm enjoying this season so far and I don't want that to be spoiled by people telling me not to.

Cause while criticism is okay, it always is, spreading nothing but hate and spite and nasty threats to anyone involved does a lot more damage than you think. You get a RWBY fandom situation where the only thing going on is harassment and bullying and it drives everyone away and leaves no room for air on takes that aren't majority. I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART OF THAT. ESPECIALLY NOT DEATH THREATS. THAT IS NOT OKAY TOWARDS ANYBODY.

So yeah, hearing any hate towards Disventure Camp about anything, I'm NOT part of it. I am not to blame for anything. I just want to stay in my corner and say what I want to say. (As long as it's not threats, like I said, I can't do that either)

*deep breath*

I just wanted to get this off my chest. NOW THAT THIS IS OUT OF THE WAY,

We're back with Season 1. I beg that there is no double elimination for a THIRD TIME IN A ROW. I'll lose my mind.

Okay, let's get into this, shall we?

Oh we're starting right where we left off last time.

IT'S A TEAM SWAP.

...again...

"My whole team is going to reGRETT voting for me."

"They're going to wish they had never crossed me."

Go off queen!

OH GOD-

What a kind greeting XD

Not the Purple Team becoming the VILLAINS Team!

"I hope that Ellie doesn't have any hard feelings."

Be thankful she isn't Jake, who DEFINATELY would.

OH YAY THEY'RE TOGETHER!!!

We get to see more of them!!

It sucked we couldn't because they were on opposite teams before. BUT NOW WE CAN!

And she immediately goes to Jake to introduce herself.

I have no idea why she'd pick that. But you know what? All for friendships.

"If we lose, we can vote for her instead of one of us."

HOW. IS. DAN. STILL. HERE?!?!

Like, I'm genuinely really tired of him now.

I made a post (that got a lot of hate) about screen time not being problematic for characters so long as they're DOING SOMETHING with that screen time.

Dan is not that. This is my least favorite character in this group. I'm sorry Dan stans.

Everyone else has something to do. All Dan does is push a non-existent alliance and make sexist comments and otherwise has no personality.

GET HIM OUT. I'M SICK OF HIM.

"Gabby is a psychotic backstabber, Jake and Tom are a toxic couple, Miriam is a useless old lady, and Dan is a dumb kid who pretends to know things."

OH GOD, NOT THE SLANDER

She do be right about Jake & Tom though...

"How'd they win so many challenges?"

Because they have numbers.

VILLAIN TEAM

"If you promise to never vote for us, we'll help you."

What if your team loses?

Do you vote for the VOID?!

"Okay, I'll read the votes... WHY ARE THEY ALL SCRIBBLES OF FLOWERS?!?"

"Something about the other two makes me feel at home, that's something I haven't really felt before..."

AW, VILLAIN BONDING. SHE FOUND HER PLACE IN THE WORLD!!

They're still beefing.

I've been eating toxic yaoi two days in a row now. It's junk food, I'll tell you that.

Is Ellie gonna reason with Jake? Awww

"Gabby told me you and Tom are close, but it doesn't look that way anymore."

They had a fight. It happens.

"Are you mad?"

"Yes I am! Tom has been lying to all of us since we got here! He lied to me like everyone else does!"

OH GEEZ THAT LAST PART

I was gonna say "I'm interested in this impulsive and petty anger issues version of Jake"

But that "LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES" part. OOF.

Like, my god, how can you blame him though?!

Yeah he wasn't right. But his POV.

"I don't want to bother you with my problems."

Ngl, when I was younger I would vent to strangers all my petty problems and yeah, that's a version of me you should be happy isn't on Tumblr. I grew up, I got in a better environment, and I'm in a better place now.

"It's okay, after last night I know what it's like being betrayed. Everything you say is safe with me."

I like this. I like Ellie being nice to him.

"I like Jake, he's a good guy, even if he's a bit dramatic."

That is MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

"Honestly, a five minute conversation could probably solve this issue."

Yes. Yes it would. But is it that simple with these two?

"I wanted to thank you..."

Oh?

"For not voting for me yesterday."

Oh...

Yeah no I want you eliminated this episode. You're selfish.

"You'll wish I'd just gone home."

"We already do."

😂

I love Miriam.... oh my god.... 😂

That had no right being as funny as a burn as that was!!

This sounds like a VERY complicated challenge. I'm gonna have to see it in action.

"Is everything okay between us Ellie?"

"What do you think?!"

"What do you think Alec?"

She said exactly that XD

This does NOT look safe!

"Can you help me Jake?"

"I don't think so."

You're STILL salty?

OMG, TALK. IN PERSON WORD ON WORD.

"I took water polo, lacrosse, cheerleading, and even debate."

Debate's not a sport, is it?

Maybe it is and I'm a dumbass.

"What? Debate not a sport? I could debate that."

OKAY THAT WAS HER TALKING DIRECTLY TO ME

"Golden, I can debate on your words!"

This looks like a nightmare to ride

"Things are a bit complicated with Jake, aren't they?"

"That's one way to put it. I know it's my fault but he's exaggerating with his attitude."

Yeah, Tom is right here. But I LOVE that he acknowledges he's at fault for it.

"He's just an immature kid, don't take it personally."

"It's hard not to."

"He'll get over it."

Will he though? Will he?

Grett and Alec are trying to DROWN the child at this point.

"Fiore can't collect water if she's dead!"

Even Alec says it!

Is Grett actually gonna develop from this experience?

"Have you calmed down a bit yet?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, it's just... I can't forget how he lied to me and how that made me feel."

"And have you thought about how that made him feel?"

Ooh, yes. I love that. Call him out.

"I'm just saying it must have been hard for him too."

Yes. Yes it was.

I get both sides. I do. Tom was trying to do a job and got revealed lying about it and didn't consider how that would hurt his friend (for understandable reasons). And Jake got some flashbacks of bad events and overreacted as a result.

"He only used me to go undercover."

"How do you know?"

"Well, I... Grett said so..."

"Did you hear Tom's side? You should ask him. People are... complex. You can't jump to conclusions."

👏

GLORIOUS. THAT WHOLE THING.

Talk to Tom. Hear his side. Apologize. Make up. Be friends again.

It'll all be fine. I still have my hope.

...and maybe this is why I called their dynamic junk food...

GABBY'S TAKING CHARGE LIKE THE QUEEN SHE IS

Also not Tom wearing TWO masks now! That looks so awkward.

Knew that would happen.

NOT GABBY LAUGHING AT JAKE'S EXPENSE. COME ON.

Welcome to SLAPSTICK THE EPISODE.

NUT SHOT.

Though this time it was a block.

NO WAIT I SWEAR I'VE SEEN THAT ON A SURVIVOR CLIP BEFORE-

Oh that's just straight up sabotage.

HELL YEAH!!!

Fiore told Grett to SLAY yet again.

Really? NO ONE on the team is good with puzzles?!

I say that like I'm good at them, but I'm not either.

Purple Team wins!

It's been HOW LONG since Purple Team won?

"Our team was on a winning streak but suddenly Ellie joins our team and we lose?"

I'm sorry, HOW was this her fault exactly?

OH MY GOD HE'S TALKING TO HIM. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

"I want to ask you something..."

"Did you really just approach me because of your job?"

Good question.

"You're asking me this now? Where was this question yeaturday?"

"So you're just here for your job!"

"And our friendship, was that just to blend in too?! Did you ever care about me at all?! Was any of it real, HUH?!"

...I mean, TECHNICALLY he DID ask this already?

It was a bad wording of asking it cause he was mad, but he DID ask it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry..."

Aww. At least he's apologizing.

See? He recognizes he made a mistake!

"Jake... I'm going to tell you the truth."

YES PLEASE. OMG THANK YOU.

"...I really like you."

😲

💗

*I'm gripping my heart from that*

UM... OKAY. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT ANSWER. *Giddy again*

"And the days we spent together fishing, gathering supplies, or just talking at camp... it made me rethink some things."

💗

"Yes, I'm here for work, to investigate someone. My agency doesn't allow me to have contact with anyone here after this investigation is over. But... meeting you felt like we quickly had this connection and I thought... am I really willing to risk everything? My whole career? So we could... be something more?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 💗

THIS IS GOING SO MUCH BETTER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD. OMG.

That's such good insight on Tom's character too! How long was he a spy? I'm curious. Cause if his missions are all like this, then does that mean Tom has no one? No relationships of any kind? Platonic or romantic?

Cause DAMN that makes too much sense for him to act like this then.

"But the way you've behaved in the last few days made one thing clear to me. I don't really know you. And I can't risk everything for someone who acts so unpredictably."

💔

AAAAAANNNNDDDD it's gone.

I do understand that though. At the end of the day, they knew each other for how many days? And if Tom's career is that serious, then of course he can't.

"Tom, I'm... I'm sorry..."

AW COME ON. HE SAID HE WAS SOWWY.

"But I said I was sowwy! And I meant it!!"

"I was so selfish thinking only for myself! I had no idea!"

This is why I love Jake! He actually ACKNOWLEDGES he's in the wrong and owns up to it!

"That's correct. You had no idea. You never bothered to ask."

And Tom doesn't even coddle him and say "No no, it's okay." That wouldn't be in character, I feel.

"Yes. You screwed up. I hope you know you screwed up. Know what you did was wrong and there's not an excuse for it."

AND HE JUST WALKS AWAY AFTER THAT?!

💔Goddammit...

I LOVED that scene though. Maybe they will be alright after all.

"See? We CAN talk it out! We're not Gwen and Trent!"

"I think the decision is simple. We vote for Ellie."

No. What did she do?!

"She is the only option."

Do you still have blindfolds on?

"As for Ellie, who even is she?"

She's a wannabe college student with a life of bad labor and debt and has passions to be a designer.

"Gabby, trust me, it's for the best."

"FOR YOU IT IS!"

YES! CALL HIM OUT!!

"You always do what's best for you and you don't care what anyone else thinks!"

YUUUUUUSSSSS!!!! DAN SLANDER!!!

Oh god it's Blabby! She's back!

"That boy wants to control you just like Grett did!"

Yes. Yes he does.

"I think I need a hug."

Awwwwwwww 💗

These two are such besties, I love them!

"Uh... I have to go... clean my socks... or something..."

XD

Best excuse ever.

Tom, how did you even become a spy? You suck at your job.

"I'll be back later!"

*Jumps in a bush*

XD

And Miriam just walks away from him XD

"Nah, I'm too old for this shit. I'm out."

"Agent Smith, I wasn't expecting your call at this time."

Smith? His name is Tom Smith?

What happened?

Is the guy he's after planning something worse?

Oh come on Jake. Why Gabby?

Yeah, we know this one.

I thought Gabby and Ellie would convince Jake to vote with them and tie it or something. But no.

WAIT SO THAT MEANS ELLIE IS SCREWED.

"WAIT!!"

"I have an immunity totem and I want to use it."

OH MY GOD THE IDOL. OH MY GOD SHE'S SAVED.

"I want to use this totem to nullify the votes against Ellie!"

YEP. ELLIE'S NOT GOING.

Gabby, SLAY. Successfully reading the room, saving her only ally!

GREAT PLAY.

The subtitles XD

"Any votes on Ellie will not count!"

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

There's three, right?

So this was a successful idol play?

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

'ELLIE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

YEP. SUCCESSFUL IDOL PLAY.

'GABBY'

That's Jake throwing his vote.

'DAN'

OH MY GOD, PLEASE. IS HE GONE?!

PLEASE NOT GABBY.

It's gotta be Dan. He's gotta be gone!

YES! HE'S GONE!!!!

"Why would you waste your totem on Ellie?"

Dude, Ellie was Gabby's ONLY ally in the game. She didn't protect Ellie, then they'd both be screwed.

"I didn't waste it. I saved her cause she treats me like a person."

That too. 💗

WHAT A TRIBAL COUNCIL!!

I like good idol plays, what can I say?

And Dan's finally gone!

I'm sorry, but he was the worst character of the cast.

Lasted too long, no personality, and the only thing he did with all his screen time was talk about an alliance that didn't exist, and be sexist.

And before you say his actions and dialogue weren't sexist: GUYS alliance. Is only seen targeting female characters. Downplays Gabby's problems over his own wants.

He rubbed me off the wrong way and I don't regret bullying him.

At least everyone else on that team was interesting in one way or another, but Dan had nothing.

I GUESS the only thing he did was be the foil to Grett for Gabby's development? As he was someone who also tried to use her but was nicer to her so it left her conflicted? But really, you could've given that role to ANY character. You could've had, idk, Tom do that and not much would change.

Actually, that would add onto the 'Tom is only here for work' plot.

BUT HEY, AT LEAST I DIDN'T JINX ANYBODY WITH THE HEADING THIS TIME! THAT'S A PLUS!

Still, THANK YOU GABBY for slaying this show as usual! You are a GIFT, sweetheart and we're so happy to have you!

GABBY FOR THE WIN!

Anyway, idk if this will get any attention because of the Season 3 finale, but hey, I can continue these if you guys seem interested and entertained by them.

[grace--png]

super cringy vent alert lmao

I despise myself.

It's simple, really. There really is no need to get into the "why's", but for your sake, i'll write that down too.

Why do I despise myself, you ask?

Are you sure you want to hear the whole list?

Ah. Persistent, are you?

I haven't been able to shake off the feeling ever since the end of sixth grade. I got a low grade in my finals in math, it never really was my strong point.

Though the effect it had on my grade was inevitable.

I was third place, and didnt even reach highest honors.

I remember in third grading when I got home from recognition to my mom in the bathroom. I told her I had gotten high honors. She smiles and tells me I did good. When she exits, I show her the highest honors reward, and she's blown away. She's hugging me, tears in her eyes, hitting me a little for making her think I got high honors.

In fourth quarter, my grades dropped.

My parents said it wasn't my fault, but the school system. I had often caught my mom crying the week after they found out my final grade. And then,

I felt guilty.

Starting from then, I would never, ever stop feeling guilty.

I started to hate myself, for causing my parents to be so disappointed. I convinced myself I was a failure.

So in seventh grade, I pushed it. Achieved first place, but again in third grading I was high honors, in fourth I was just honors

I wasn't good at math or science, but my friend was. She pissed me off.

I liked to draw. My friend did too. She pissed me off.

My constantly perfect performance in school was driven by the envy gnawing at the back of my mind, telling me if I didn't achieve better I was simply nothing. Not good at major subjects, not good at my hobbies. Someone was always better than me.

It kept me awake at night, the thoughts.

In the end, there was a girl who was high honors, from the other section.

I am in eighth grade now. In the star section, too.

It's gotten worse, the comparison, the thoughts, the envy. My self-esteem has dropped rock bottom.

My grades have dropped. Shit.

I am a disappointment, a failure, nothing.

I live in constant judgement, not only from the people around me, but from myself. I am never good enough for myself.

No matter what I achieve, it's never good enough for me. I yearn for more, I yearn to close up the hole eating up at my heart, but by doing this, the hole is only getting bigger.

I cannot think properly anymore. All that fills my brain is the thoughts, it's too much.

I'm so tired.

There's always someone better than me, why do I even try?

September fourteenth. That's my birthday.

The day before that is our poster-making in school, and my friend who's good at drawing is our representative.

It kills me inside, the thought that that could've been me, if I tried a little harder.

But I am useless.

What's wrong with me?

Everything.

No one gets it, no one gets me, everyone makes me believe it's normal to feel this way but I don't think so.

Eh.

I'm just being selfish and dramatic. Ignore this.

[quicktosimp]

Under the Sea

Kinktober Day 19 Aonung/Rotxo

A/N: I love these boys so much 😍😭

Now has a Part 2

And thank you @pandoraslxna for putting this event together for us 💖

Warnings: Aged Up!Characters, Threesome, Fingering, Cunnilingus, Water Sex, Alien Biology, No Idea How to Tag it But It's Like the Na'vi Version of IcyHot They Use For Sex

Free diving with Aonung and Rotxo is my favorite way to spend the day. Being able to serve the clan while doing what we love with our lovers, nothing is better than that. Awa'atlu’s waters are comforting, a peace I have not found elsewhere. Now, while Rotxo and Aonung can hold their breath like pros, they still need to breathe; I get to cheat using my exopack. Down in the corals, I watch some fish swim around as I wait for my mates to return for air. A bright yellow fish with orange and blue spots circles around me several times; at first, I thought it was playful, but now I think it's sizing me up to eat me.

I glare at the fish, waiting to see what it would do. It may still be friendly, after all. Until Rotxo swims to me, pulling me away from the fish, an arrow from Aonung’s crossbow quickly lands a hit, killing the fish instantaneously. Aonung placed the fish in the basket attached to me, looking more than peeved.

‘What the hell were you thinking? That thing was going to eat you whole!’ Aonung’s sign was jerky in his haste.

‘It was friendly at first! I wasn’t sure if I was friend or food!’ I signed back as quickly as I could, trying to explain myself.

Rotxo quickly swam to my side so I could see him communicate with me, ‘Yellow body, blue and orange spots. Aonung was right; it can detach its jaws and swallow you whole.’

‘Opps?’ I sign, my face showing some remorse.

Rotxo shakes his head as Aonung rolls his eyes hard enough to see his own brain. I swim forward, placing the screen of my mask against Aonung’s face, attempting to bring my forehead to his. I wrap my arms around his neck, and I can see the start of a foul mood fading from his face and body. Aonung moves and places a kiss on my forehead before bringing out the tether rope. I hate that damn rope. It’s the one they always use when I get into things that are ‘too dangerous’ and ‘can eat you’, I think it’s bull. I pushed myself back, trying to escape, but Rotxo blocked my path, helping Aonung tie the tether rope. 

I turned to Rotxo, ‘Traitor.’

His smile was sheepish, ‘Sorry, Paskalin, but you did almost get eaten,’

Aonung turns me to look at him, signing, ‘Come on, don’t let this ruin our day. Now I get to have you all I want.’ He tried to smile sweetly, but his smirk won.

Now feeling petty, I decide that I’m going to lay there like dead weight, letting Aonung pull me along as he swims. Laying in a way that pulled against the direction he was swimming in. Rotxo found this amusing as he was right behind me, chuckling without losing any air. I blow a raspberry at him, and that causes Roxto to laugh properly, air bubbles leaving his mouth, making him need to surface for air. Aonung, confused by Rotxo’s sudden surface he, follows, glaring at me as he tows my useless body behind him. Breaching the surface was a bit unusual. I had been under the water for what had probably been hours now; the sunlight was harsh on my eyes. 

“Rotxo! Are you alright? Why the sudden surface?” Aonung asks, his frown expressing concern.

“I am fine! Paskalin made me laugh, that is all.” Rotxo explained, his boyish smile nearly as blinding as the sun. 

Rebuttling, I say, “I have to have fun somehow!” I wave my arm, splashing them.

Now, Aonung’s frown is directed toward me, with Rotxo giggling in the background, “You had your fun and nearly got eaten, and it's not like we are stopping you from having fun. If you think that, then I will return you to shore.” Aonung’s tone unforgiving.

I swam over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, “I was just having some harmless fun. I just wanted to make Rotxo laugh, and we were close to the surface. I knew there wouldn’t be a risk.” I sweetly explained. 

“You’re being a brat today,” Aonung stated, wrapping his arms around me.

“I wonder why,” I muttered under my breath, quiet enough that neither of them could hear. 

Aonung’s ear twitched at the small sound but otherwise did not react. Instead, he holds me closer. Rotxo appeared at my back, wrapping his arms around me and resting his hands on Aonung. They kiss softly, their lips never leaving each other as their tongues come into play. They softly part as Rotxo speaks, “I think it could be because she’s needy. We left the marui before giving Paskalin her morning attention.” Rotxo pauses for a moment before his eyes widen in shock, “Wait, isn’t this the time Paskalin goes through the human version of heat? Ovu- ovu-somehitng?”

Aonung goes still, his own eyes were wide, “No wonder you’re angry with us. We have neglected you as mates!”

“Wait, guys, it’s not tha-” But Rotxo cut me off.

“Well, this is the perfect place to fix that!” And his lips attached themselves to my neck.

“Oh!” I gasped, not expecting this turn of events.

Aonung chuckles, “You have the right idea.” Attaching himself to the other side of my neck.

The feeling of their warm lips on my skin and the pleasure their mouths bring is intoxicating, especially with the contrast of the cold water. And their hands wander. One is around my hip, another my thigh, one is on my waist holding me up, and a final one groped at my right breast. 

“I love you too, and I love your attention, but this isn’t-” Yet again, I am cut off.

“If Sumtsyìp still speaking this well, then we aren’t doing our jobs properly.” With that, Aonung sunk under the water. 

Rotxo moves his hands so both are on my breasts, using that hold to keep me up as he rolls my nipples between his fingers. I lean my head back and lay it against Rotxo’s shoulders.

“Aonung!” I shout as he grips my hips under the water. Sliding my bikini bottoms off, he spreads my legs and dives in. 

“Oh! Fuck!” I cry out. 

Aonung’s tongue delved into my folds, bullying it into my hole as he grinds his teeth into my clit. I try to thrust my hips, but I can't go anywhere between Aonung and Rotxo’s holds. I wrap my arms around, threading my fingers through Rotxo’s short hair, needing to ground myself on something. The onslaught of pleasure numbs my brain, my breasts are tender, and Rotxo has always known how to pleasure them perfectly. Aonung, on the other hand, I can never keep his mouth away from my cunt. The moment we’re alone, or just the three of us, he’s on his knees, and my panties are nowhere to be found. The two of them work together in tandem, playing my body like an instrument. 

“Are you feeling good, Paskalin?” Rotxo asks, nipping around my neck.

“Yes, you always make me feel good,” I moan in response.

“Have to make you feel good,” Rotxo bites at the junction of my neck and shoulder, leaving a deep purple mark.

Aonung spilled a finger in at that moment, thrusting and wiggling it as he went. I can’t help but clench around his digit, feeling as he stroked my g spot, making white spots dance in my eyes.

“Shit, that's good!” I hiss out. 

Rotxo chuckles at my reaction before continuing to make a collar of love bites on my neck. 

Aonung’s mouth and finger leave my cunt before surfacing for breath, “How was that for a start, Sumtsyìp?” He had a cocky grin on his face.

“It was good, but don’t you think Rotxo deserves a turn?” I quip, challenging him.

Rotxo moves his head back, not expecting me to bring him into this.

“That’s a good idea, Sumtsyìp.” Speaking to Rotxo, he says. “We can trade spots. I can keep this pretty pussy all for myself.” 

They quickly change spots, Aonung pressing my back against his muscular chest. While Rotxo dove under, but away from me. Before I had a chance to voice my confusion, Aonung ruts his slit into me, his cock already peeking out of his slit. 

“Fuck you’re a munch. You’re peeking just from eating me.” I moan while rubbing my ass into his slit.

“Shit!” Aonung hisses, attempting to still my hips.

“What’s wrong, baby? Don’t you want attention? My pussy is right here, ready for your attention.” I croon, rolling my body. 

“You need to be patient. I know you're needy right now, but you still need manners,” He scolded.

“Ha!” A shocked laugh leaves my lips, “Manners? Like when you went into rut while eating me out?” 

Aonung groans in exasperation, “It was the day before I was meant to start my rut. That wasn’t my fault.” 

“As I said before, you’re a mun-!” I break off into a squeal.

Rotxo had returned and thrust two fingers into me, covered in that fucking gel that feels like IcyHot. Rotxo’s pace wasn’t gentle, wiggling and maneuvering, ensuring every crevice of my insides was covered in that gel-like substance. 

“Why?” I whine, unsure if I want to move closer or farther from the offending touch. 

“You know why, Sumtsyìp. It ensures good mating and fertility.” Aonung chuckles at my plight.

“Your dicks are triple the size of a human male’s and lock into my cervix. I do not think I need any other fertility aids.” I continue to whine, the tingling of hot and cold with the rough thrusts, making me near my climax sooner than I would like. 

“Nooo! Too soon!” I moan; Rotxo’s thumb reaches my clit, smearing the gel on it, continuing the slow circles. 

“You need to cum already? Sumtsyìp, we just started; we still have a long day to go.” Aonung’s voice is smug as he holds me still for Rotxo, “Do you know why I tend to lead when it comes to sex?” His hands trail up, pinching and pulling at my nipples, while Rotxo inserted a finger from his other hand into me as well. 

“Oh Fuck!” My back arches off Aonung’s chest, as my hips cannot move. 

The stretch adds to the burn caused by the gel, the rolling and pinching of my clit, his rough thrusts bruising my walls and cervix.  

“Rotxo!” I shout, unable to hold back my voice, as my core tightens. 

“What is our tìyawn is going to make you cum? Is he bulling your hole just like I do? You always think Rotxo is the sweet one in our relationship, but the truth is I’m the one who holds him back. Whenever I hold onto his hips when he’s inside you, it's cause he just wants to go, thrust his dick inside you without any restraint. If I didn't hold him back, he’d break you.” Aonung growled as he bit my ear. 

My core is filled with heat, tempered by the sting of cold, but I can’t stop it. A flood of pleasure washes over me, waves rolling through my system as Rotxo’s fingers refuse to stop, curling and rubbing, even as I started to twitch on his hold. My legs begin to shake as I use my foot to push him Rotxo away, the pleasure too much. He slowly removes his hands, giving one last pat to my folds. I try to buck away from the touch to no avail.

“That’s our good girl,” Aonung mutters, rubbing my hips soothingly.

Rotxo breaches the surface facing me, his boyish face covered by a mischievous grin, his eyes dark, “Was that good, Yawne?”

Aonung dove under the water, holding me from underneath the waves.

“Yes, but get it off!” I beg, the tingling of hot and cold still attacking my cunt.

A dark chuckle leaves Rotxo’s mouth, “Oh, Yawne. Don’t you know? It’s going to stay on throughout our entire mating.” Lining his slit up with my cunt.

[musiingwords]

MURDER DRONES EPISODE ONE SENTENCE STARTERS

"we finally had a future all to ourselves."

"it's like we're waiting for an inciting incident!"

"so not the vibe!"

"easy moron. it doesn't work... yet! it doesn't work yet!"

"who said it doesn't work? maybe it does!"

"the homework was a word problem on buying watermelons."

"and is it supposed to be that color?"

"ew. it didn't kill her / him / it / they."

"that's never gonna end up problematic."

"hey, those bandages look pretty badass."

"no more feedback on my repression today!"

"and where might you be off to?"

"...sneaking out to make out with my boyfriend that i definitely have?"

"well we don't just play cards."

"neat. therapy is fun."

"holy crap it talks."

"yeah sorry it's just my uh-- head kinda hurts."

"that's not true. everyone tells me i'm useless and terrible."

"wait. i'm not supposed to tell you that part!"

"well honesty is the best policy."

"i uh have to... go."

"sure! i love doing anything!"

"sweet uh... i'm open to new things, i guess."

"we are never talking about this."

"talking about what!? consider it, uh, repressed!"

"and yet, i still feel nothing."

"oh god! who are you!?"

"so obviously a lot of mutual respect there!"

"but secretly, i actually kind of have a crush on her / him / they / it."

"___, you're worthless and terrible."

"they never taught us how to land."

"i guess i just wanna be useful."

"oh my! you sure are rebellious! it's kinda exciting!"

"you know, i left an extremely dangerous excuse uh outside!"

"oooh deal me in! i love rummy! wait not. ugh. i'm gonna murder everyone... rain check!"

"uh actually it's gin rummy. soo..."

"what have you done?!"

"i'm sorry. i really enjoyed our time together."

"i messed up. in the same way i'm about to fix it!"

"point and shoot. trust me!"

"am i dreaming or did you do something not useless for once?"

"lowest body count eats a missile!"

"you know what that means! branded pens!"

"excuse me?"

"you just finally gave me the excuse i needed."

"i hate to see you corrupted as well."

"i ruined your card game, then made you have an awkward moment with your dad."

"and i made you rebel like an angsty teen, which got you killed."

"though, you also tried to kill me, so morality calls this a draw."

"for the record, that was the lamest heel face turn in history."

"being rebellious is a lot hard than it looks. thanks for showing me the ropes."

"i screwed up."

"so they found our evacuation spot."

"for real?"

"you're sometimes kinda mean to me, and i wish you weren't. just some constructive critisicm."

"too bad! good luck!"

"my minds in a weird place, don't read into this!"

"have fun repressing this!"

"i've had pray fight back before but your edgy spirit is just so..."

"one more buzzword and i'll do it."

"you chose to leave for dead instead of just fricken believing in me!"

"i banish myself!"

"hope you're having important character growth or something though!"