#I hate teachers and students who abuse and torment others

[nothingtherefornow]

Sadly and furiously, there's worse teachers than Bustier and Mendeleiv, and worse principals than Damoclès in real life

I've just read stories and testimonials from people about their years in primary and secondary school in France, And I've realized that, in fact, there are really so much worse cases than Miss Bustier, Mrs. Mendeliev, and Mr. Damocles as teachers and principals in real life :

Teachers and principals who aren't just enablers, but bullies themselves. Teachers who select one of their students as a scapegoat to vent all their frustrations, often punishing them unfairly, and ignoring or making fun of their difficulties, humiliating them in front of other students, etc. To the point that it also encouraged others students to bully the scapegoat student. One testimony particularly schoked me :

"I had a teacher who found all possible excuses to punish me, when we had presentations/assignements to make, the others in my class had 1 week to do it... I had to do it for the day after. She very often deprived me of recess, prevented me from going to the toilets, but above all, she couldn't see me so much that she very often sent me to the principal's class to do my punishments. She and the director were very good friends, and the director also had fun punishing me and saying mean things about me in front of her students. I was the student not to become. And this had quite a repercussion since the class of the director attacked me physically and also mentally during the lunch break (the only recess I had the right to because I had to eat), which , over the months, had rounded up all the other classes who came to harass me too (except my class, being aware that I did nothing wrong). And the harassment was even sometimes sexual and I confess that I do not understand how no supervisor could see what was happening."

it's terrifying how Miraculous actually only shows a fraction of school bullying and what a bad teacher is

Fortunately there are also testimonials on teachers who have helped students a lot.

A favorite youtuber of mine spoke of a teacher in a large kindergarten section who had traumatized her, and led her to withdraw into herself and never participate in class again. Then in CP, she had a teacher who was the exact opposite, fair, kind and attentive A teacher who helped her heal the wounds of the previous year. as kindergarten and primary shared the same canteen, the bad teacher and the good teacher already knew each other, and one day the youtuber witnessed a conversation between the two teachers of which she was the subject. The good teacher complimented her student and expressed her joy to have her in her class, while the bad teacher dared to ask "are you sure she is not mentally retarded?" about her former student, and she added that "according to science" students who are too well behaved hid a vice, and that one should not hesitate to often punish them, even if it means going as far as corporal punishment. The nice teacher replied that if she were to come across a teacher punishing his students this way, she would report them to the rectorate, slash their car tires, and set their house on fire. Then the good teacher asked to her colleague "I sure hope you're not that kind of teacher, right ?" Karma is rare in real life, but when it does its job, it's a jubilant moment ^^.

This story may be exaggerated, but I found it interesting to cite it

Myself I had an immense chance to have a schooling which took place without aplomb despite my autism thanks also to the presence of my twin sister (my parents always and rightly arranged for us to be in the same class) and I have always had relatively good teachers.

But reading and listening to this kind of testimonies really makes me realize that there are still a lot of bad teachers who do not just enable but also participate in the bullying of one or many students. Those kind of "adults" are the shame of teaching, people who shouldn't even have the right to teach nor approach children.

SPOILER WARNING ABOUT MIRACULOUS SEASON 5

That's why the episode Confrontation had me starting to despise Caline Bustier and Denis Damoclès a lot less, because it's better to have a teacher and principal regretting their past bullying enabling actions and misleading, and wanting to make up for it and become better, rather than teachers and principals who do enjoy abusing their students and never get caught

[chriscdcase95]

So I discovered “Tamara”, and have some thoughts...

So, I recently caught wind of this 2005 film, Tamara, which has been a bit of attention. Apparently this movie’s been getting some traction, but not a lot of love on here.

There’s very few posts on here about this movie, and as of this post, only two AO3 works based off it.

I don't see how this apparently went under the radar for so long, as it has the makings of similar cult classics such as Ginger Snaps, The Craft, Jennifer's Body and All Cheerleaders Die. So after checking it out, I figured I would give my thoughts, and spread the word.

Tamara Riley is a shy high school student, who lives with an abusive father, has a crush on her hot teacher, Bill Natolly, and looks for escapism through witchcraft. 

Tamara is also a target of bullying, especially when she writes an article exposing her school's jocks for using steroids. Besides Natolly, only one other person seems to treat Tamara with any decency, and that would be Chloe, a new student who tries to befriend Tamara, but never gets the chance. 

For the first third of the movie, this is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world. She looks so sad in photographs but...It gets worse from there.

For the first third, Tamara is a pretty sympathetic, likable, but flawed protagonist. As a villain, she is Jennifer Check lite (despite predating Jennifer by four years). Jenna Dewan really sells both sides of Tamara, with her performance as both being what carries this movie. 

Tamara has a crush on her teacher, despite him being married and trying to conceive a child with his wife. Tamara even attempts a love spell to bind their fates together.  

What's this ? A Villain Protagonist in a horror movie is problematic ? Stop the presses! 

Tamara's initial flaws are believable and part of what makes her sympathetic; she wasn't malicious, and it's pretty clear before her transformation, she's socially naïve and gullible. This leads to Tamara's demise. She's lured into a ‘date’, with who she thinks is Natolloy, only to be lured into a prank orchestrated by Shawn. 

Shawn is the movie’s secondary antagonist, and resident Hate Sink; a jock who was ousted from his team when he was exposed for taking performance enhancers, and refused to take a drug test. 

So Shawn get's his friends, and three newcomers to lure Tamara to a party, tricking her into stripping on camera, in a prank which I'm pretty sure qualifies as sexual assault (not helping is that Shawn is later revealed to be a serial rapist). 

When Tamara is accidentally killed in the ensuing struggle, Shawn threatens the rest of the party into secrecy while disposing of Tamara's body...and now they gotta pay with it for their lives. 

See, Tamara's ritual could only be completed when she spills her blood, but she ultimately backs out on it; but when she's killed, her blood spills completing the ritual without her knowledge and consent. From there, Tamara rises as a confident, sultry and vengeful revenant, out to take what she thinks is hers. 

What keeps Tamara tragic is, this movie is clear that what she's doing isn't really her her. Tamara's villainous personality is the result of magic she took in from her ritual, making her a near 180 of her mortal self. 

Towards the end, she has this “What have I done/become ?” moment where she realizes she's become a monster, only to snap back because the spell is just stronger than her. 

As a villain, I think Tamara was at her best when seeking revenge; she takes no one's bullshit, unapologetically vengeful, wicked, and has a sense of poetic justice.

Most of her villainy is brainwashing and enslaving others, tormenting her victims with hallucinations, and through some ironic  punishment. Tamara only directly kills two people, both of them being gnarly; she tells her abusive alcoholic dad to finish his bottle, and the guy is forced to eat it. 

The revenant revenge plot was where the movie was at its best, IMO. I honestly wish they kept it as a revenge story for the third act. Preferably with Shawn as the de-facto antagonist.

If one thing holds Tamara back, I think it's her obsession with Mr. Natolly; and the movie is pretty weak in the last third, focusing on a rescue mission for Natolly and his wife. You can make the argument Tamara is magically bound to her crush - her spell was to bind their fates together. But I still think it takes away from Tamara's agency. 

Tamara’s not like Jennifer Check, Ginger Fitzgerald or Nancy Downs - whose transformations highlight toxic qualities that are already there - it’s literally “Dark Magic rewrites her whole personality”.

As for the other characters, a few others stand out.

Mr. Bill Natolly and his wife Alison are pretty likable, and are the more sympathetic characters. They both mean well, and are genuinely excited about starting a family. 

Bill genuinely wanted to help Tamara, and she misreads his singles and tries to kiss him. Bill is understanding of Tamara and tries to explain things to her, before she walks out in embarrassment. 

Bill, through no fault of his own, is roped into this drama; he was bound to Tamara's "spell", and it was only cast when Tamara was murdered. Now that his life is bound to Revenant!Tamara, and the only way Tamara and her spell can be broken is if Bill makes a sacrifice of his own.

There's also the film's ostensible protagonist, Chloe Bowman.

A new girl who stands up for Tamara, Chloe soon becomes a witness/unwitting participant to the prank, and Tamara’s subsequent murder. In fact, Chloe's attempts to help Tamara gets her mistaken for a perpetrator and is what escalates the fight. As a result, Chloe feels guilt for Tamara's death. 

Not helping is that Shawn intimidates the party, including Chloe's supposed boyfriend, into covering up the incident. Chloe’s is kind of a hit and miss. As a protagonist, she's pretty bland and is mostly just along for the ride. 

On the other hand, the pieces are there to make her a great character, and to have a dynamic with Tamara. It's just they aren't really utilized. In the original script, it would be revealed that Chloe is a closeted lesbian, and implicitly in love with Tamara. In the final film, Chloe is also the one who breaks through to Tamara. 

Near the end Tamara looks into Chloe's mind, learning that she genuinely cared for and tried to help her. It's this that allowed the real Tamara to resurface and break down over what she's done and become.

Like holy shit, that sounds like the climax for a tragic love story, doesn’t it ?

Unfortunately, outside of that, the movie doesn't do much with these two; they don't really bond before Tamara's death; no significant interactions following her resurrection, until the climax. 

Chloe feels like she's supposed to be the Needy Lesnicki or Sarah Bailey of this story. But unlike Jennifer's Body or The Craft, we don't get that same “Sapphic Enemies/Broken Friendship” that we get with Jennifer x Needy, or Sarah x Nancy.  

It feels like a case of They Wasted of a Perfectly Good Plot/Character.

Would I recommend this movie ? Sure, but it's really nothing spectacular. I think All Cheerleaders Die or Jennifer's Body are closer to what Tamara was trying to be or could have been, but it's not completely unsalvageable. 

And for what it's missing, that's what AO3 is for, amiright ?

[ghost-whump]

For the Spotify Wrapped ask game - 16! <3

For @writereleaserepeat’s Whumpify Wrapped askgame!

#16. Standing in the Rain - Billy Talent

CW: sexual harassment, past teacher/student relationship, manipulation, mistreatment of sex workers, transphobia-adjacent?, victim blaming, depression, implied drug use, let me know if i’m missing anything!

It started so small.

So small.

Staying after class on Fridays, not to be tutored, just to talk. I think you’re interesting, kid.

Exchanging dark polaroids of questionable taste just not to fail. You trust me with this, don’t you?

Kneeling under a desk while the older man graded homework all the other students did. A+ job down there, kid.

Maybe that’s what started it. All meticulously designed to lead down this path. Just because some science teacher thought he was cute.

Not all of it was bad. Dr. Whumper was kind of hot anyway. And it definitely could have been worse. He could have forced it on him. He could have blackmailed him. Dr. Whumper could have hit and abused him. But he didn’t.

It was Whumpee who came to him. It was Whumpee who offered the arrangement in the first place. It may have been Dr. Whumper who buttered him up and carefully wooed him, but Whumpee could have stopped it.

Casual hookups with Dr. Whumper turned quickly into a scandal in their small town. Empty beer cans lobbed off the back of pick-ups, rocks chipped off sidewalks, and anything else teenage boys could find became a permanent obstacle to be dodged. Pinned against brick walls, TEACHER’S PET WHORE scribbled on his forehead by teenagers he’d never met.

Girls ignored him, boys tormented him, parents hates him, and teachers punished him.

Then one day, the morning after his mother screamed at him for nearly the whole night, he ran away.

January 13th, 1983. The day it ended. His new birthday as well, he’d soon decided.

It was hard for a 15-year-old to survive on his own—he’d known that from the start. But it was laughably easy how many men offered to drive him a few miles in exchange for a quick “payment,” as many liked to call it.

The big city was easier. A new name and casual confidence among the locals became a necessity if he didn’t want to get caught. Sex sold less there, and somehow more at the same time. He could sidle up on anyone and drag them in, but many brushed him off. Typical street-walker, one had called him.

He made his debut in the alleyways and backstreets, mingling with the local prostitutes and semi-frequent addicts. They taught him how to pick up Johns like a pro, always get paid, and never get caught. Invaluable knowledge it seemed, in the line of worked he found himself in.

Dirty needles and tight, red skirts lined his new path. Lost in the high of heroin, LSD, or anything else he could find, things got easy. Yet none of his friends— his new family —understood. Even the older workers looked down at him with pity.

Some let him sleep on their couches, helped him forage, showed him children’s hostels, but it never stayed for long. He’d return to the streets eventually.

Time passed quicker by the day. Soon a few months turned to a year and still, no one had come looking for him. He looked somewhat believably 18 now, a large selling point for him at least.

Old enough to be legal, young enough to be fun.

Then he turned 18 for real a while later. Not much changed. He’d donned a mask of innocence for so many years, it never really wore off. Playing on the bimbo-esque naïvety of his looks reeled in yet more and more clients, he’d never changed the game.

But soon that stopped working. Once he’d started growing hair in strange places and his eyes hollowed of their shine, it didn’t work. A rube, a fake, an act— it wore off.

Bruised feet forced into too-small heels click-click-clicked down the sidewalk, he’d lean over into big cars and bat his lashes. A little man inside, usually some big-shot business man faker than he was, would greet him. Some yelled at him to get in, others were respectful and asked his prices. None saw him as more than an object.

As the years drew on, he’d dread the hum of an engine slowing as it passed. Their eyes would twinkle as they caught him, ensnared him like a fish on a hook, and even though he hated it… at least they still wanted him.

He guessed he did too.

A/N: woah i didn’t expect to write this much!!! i just got carried away and kept going lmao. thanks so much for the ask, i really enjoyed writing this <3

General Tag: @morning-star-whump

[unhingedwomandiaries]

Another lunch break squandered hate-reading news stories that'll just bum me out for the rest of the day. This time it's some depressing exposé from across the pond about these so-called "calming rooms" that are apparently meant for neurodiverse kids in UK schools to take a breather when feeling overstimulated. Except an investigation found these rooms used to literally just be utility closets and cupboards. Now they are being used to forcibly isolate and mistreat vulnerable students.

Kids were locked in these bare white boxes, some left sitting in their own filth for hours after being physically assaulted and verbally abused by the same teachers paid to support them. And these depraved sadists are still employed, still allowed to "work" with children despite confirming every parent's worst fears about having a special needs child placed in an institutional setting. It's subhuman treatment on a legislative scale that seemingly no one in power cares enough to stop. But I'm sure the next round of empty reassurances is just around the corner.

Makes you nostalgic for the good old days of our relatively quaint "In-School Suspension" rooms in the States. Those ominous little window-free concrete boxes where you'd be unceremoniously banished if you stepped out of line, denied any academic responsibilities for the day beyond staring mindlessly at the walls and pondering how society systematically fails those who struggle. I guess the Brits saw our model and said "Hold my lukewarm tea, we can make this even more dehumanizing and traumatic."

The whole sadistic concept feels like something out of a Cold War-era psychological torture manual. Which is probably why the one person I knew who got ISS didn't exactly turn out to have the most enriching adult life. If memory serves, his offense was bragging about his older brother's DUI on AIM like some try-hard way to seem cool and aloof. Incredibly lame posturing even by a hormonal teenager's standards.

Ross never did explain the full extent of his crime, but he outlined the basic psychological torment of being trapped alone in that sterile, empty room all day like some Kafkaesque minimum security penitentiary. No schoolwork, no stimuli, no human interaction. Just...existing. For seven hours straight. With a permanent disciplinary mark on your record that colleges would inevitably discover (because they ask on applications) and judge accordingly.

Looking back, it was probably Ross's cry for help towards whatever darker underlying forces were weighing on his teenage psyche. Because now I see his family was already unraveling. His mom passed right around the time my dad died, and his older brother would precede Ross himself in tragically premature "sudden death" before he was even in his thirties. Kid didn't have a chance from the jump.

So while the specifics of Britain's calming room atrocities disgust on a new level, the underlying truth feels pretty universal: For all our self-congratulatory lip service about creating more nurturing environments for struggling youth, our institutions always find new ways to fail the most vulnerable populations. Civilized society is a myth. We're still just modern-day Babylonians hazing the "others" however we can get away with. Cruelty and negligence remain the purest universally shared human experiences.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Fic title: That Devil Woman

Fic title: The Dark Fairy

Fic title: The Evil Queen

Fic title: The Sea Witch

HONESTLY WE'RE GETTING A GIRL SQUAD UP IN HERE.

Fem!Izuku and her friends are an all female group who band together no matter what. They're a vigilante group I'm thinking who are taking down the HPSC and various other corrupt groups.

They have their own code names assigned by heroes:

That Devil Woman- Fem!Izuku. The mastermind of the group, Quirkless. Terrifying and the best hacker of the group. General studies student who is quietly digging up info on UA and their teachers some may not like. As well as their alumni.

The Dark Fairy- Uraraka. She lost her leg during the entrance exam and sure, they let her into Gen Ed for free and her family got a lot of money but she's angry. So angry and bitter and furious. She's going to rip hero society down.

The Evil Queen- I'm thinking Hatsume. Hatsume who saw her mother arrested for releasing info on a hero. Who saw a hero abuse and torment her mother and her mother pay for it. She has her army she reigns over like a Queen. And she will happily use them against all who oppose her.

The Sea Witch- I want Fem!Shinsou. Solely due to Sirens and stuff, so we're going with that. Shinsou who had her entire dream stolen. Who only is being trained due to favouritism. Who wants to burn the world. Who wants to bear her teeth and watch it all shatter.

Taking inspiration from this reblog I did, let's have some mentor All Might still. All Might who overheard cruel comments. All Might who while his skinny form sees the abuses of heroes. All Might who sees the rage in these girls eyes and bares his teeth.

All Might gets his own title: King Maker.

Pairings: Fem!ShinDeku and Hatsume/Uraraka.

Notes: Aizawa will get his ass kicked by these four, want to train them and slowly learn it's the hero society he hates who made them into what they are... and that he supported it. Que his own redemption arch. Maybe.

[allthingsarmin]

please hear me out , student council president bully!armin x hot goth girl!reader?

Thank you for your request! This prompt made me really thirsty hehehe, but I hope you didn’t have to wait too long. I’ve been getting quite a few goth girl requests, so to all the goth girls who have found my blog, WELCOME!

Warnings: bullying, harassment, mentions of depressive topics, noncon, and then some sexy stuff bc i know yall are horn - ee. Also, sorry this isn’t proofread :(

Fem!Reader, FemBodied!Reader

Minors DNI!

How many times have you been in this position? Submissive under Armin Arlert’s malicious smirk and feeling measly under the bouts of laughter and mockery from your insolent classmates who encourage his harsh words?

How many times have you found yourself running to your dorm after class, crying, loathing the fact that you were different, feeling insufficient because you have never been graciously accepted by others, becoming disgusted with yourself as a failure as your insecurities painfully spill past your eyelids.

How many times have you found yourself hopeless? Hopeless because no matter how many times you go to teachers and counselors for help, they dismiss you with a cackle. “Armin Arlert? The student council president? He is such a gentleman - so responsible and well-mannered. He would never do those things.” Hopeless because of course no one would ever believe the girl who is quiet, strange, and unconventionally a freak who wears nothing but black clothes with edgy designs, chains, and tall boots that match the intimidating aura of your black nails and many piercings. Hopeless because even though you hate the humiliation, hate the demeaning of your very existence, hate Armin Arlert, you can’t deny that you have pathetically fallen like a beggar for his degradation.

Too many times have you found yourself crumbling under the merciless grip of Armin, being thrown around like a puppet to appease his twisted fantasies and inflated ego, his handsome face creepily contorting with a grin each time his cruel insults are aimed at your weak self. Though, soon enough, the school year will end as you are pushed into the warmth of summer, and then you will make your escape from his abominable cage - your escape from the monster that hides behind the intelligent man with the expensive blazers and sweater vests, seemingly gentle smile, and clean face - the monster that hides behind the beautiful, horrible student council president, Armin Arlert.

----------------------------------

On the precipice of escape, the last day of classes before your final exams - that were supposed to be easy and meant for reviewing material - became total hell as you were summoned to the student council office for some ‘unprecedented reason’ or at least that’s what your professor told you.

The walk to the office was a petrifying one. Never before have your boots felt heavy and your knees weak with your heart pounding out of your ears, scared that out of the eight people in the student council you would be faced with the one-and-only Armin Arlert and his mischief.

As soon as you entered the office, you were met with the pain of a shockingly cold, hard floor. Your left thumb nail and pinky broken, your black fishnet stockings torn, and your black eyeliner trailing down your face in waves due to the impact. Armin was waiting behind the door and barbarically pushed you onto the floor right as you entered the room. Upon his sinister eyes, you were so pitifully sprawled in front of him in a confused, fearful haze - such a wonderful sight to see your dark makeup smeared, cheeks red, bruises forming on your knees where your fishnets tore, and the chain bracelet you wore on your frail wrist broken and lying on the floor.

Upon your confusion and fright, Armin quickly steps over your feeble figure as a way of keeping you in place, like a predator fatally cornering his prey. He crouches down on top of you, getting close to your face, his minty breath hitting you in warm swells as his clean-scented cologne invades your nose. In the worse possible position, lying so vulnerable under the man who has tormented you at school all year, you hate to admit how irresistible he actually is - his mesmerizing blue eyes pulling you in like the tides, his beautifully groomed hair contrasting with his menacing smile, his muscles tightening up in his dark blue blazer. How disgusted you are with yourself that just for a second you were willing to take all of his degradation if it meant you got to lay your eyes upon his being.

Armin, feasting upon your beautiful figure, was tearing you apart in his mind. Unbeknownst to you, your dark clothes complimented your skin beautifully, the gruesome designs on your shirts appealingly contrasting with the rare sight of your soft, kind smile, and the black makeup you always wore was never with a fault as it was done perfectly, your black nails leaving Armin with vulgar thoughts about how they would look leaving scratch marks on his back as he roughly fucks you into subspace, what your black and blood-red skirts paired with fishnet stockings would look like while he sneakily tears into you in a public place. How his hand would look around your neck in place of your black chokers. All Armin needed was some hot goth bitch who he could selfishly abuse and degrade while looking cute in her chain necklaces and fitted black tops, and all year had he fantasized about this moment - taking in the sight of your pity allowing the stress from council responsibilities - like speeches and useless complaints from students - to simply just disappear.

“Finally have you all to myself, huh?” he groans, hurriedly taking off his blazer, and unbuttoning his dress shirt, disheveling his collar in the process. Looking around at the empty desks and chairs, you noticed that you two were in fact the only ones in the office and that Armin had slyly locked the door after pushing you to the floor. Your head was burning, and your heart suddenly picked up its pace as you saw Armin begin to unbuckle his belt and fiddle with his zipper.

“W-what are you doing?” you worriedly exclaimed as you moved your messy hair out of your face and scrambled to hold down your skirt.

Armin paused, his grin eerily wide and the glint in his eyes made of pure malice. “Something I should have done a long time ago.”

He, on top of your timid body, shoved his girthy cock into your mouth, his red tip teasingly poking at the back of your throat as tears assault your eye makeup and your face reddens with embarrassment. Armin pulls your hair and forces your wet mouth off of his aching cock, admiring the sight of your wide eyes and blotches of black lipstick painting his thick shaft. He rubs your cheek with his thumb. “Such a pretty goth bitch,” he coos, nearly laughing at the fact his weak, long-time victim was finally exposed below him.

You were stunned, completely numb, so shocked because the man who was always so vile to you was losing himself every time your reluctant tongue slipped past his sensitive tip. So shocked that you couldn’t do anything but comply when he told you to take him deeper.

Armin, with such eagerness, forced your sloppy mouth off of him - after gagging you for what seemed like forever - and sat down on the floor, leaning against the locked door, and firmly grabbing your wrist as a beckon to straddle his lap. Sitting upon his muscular thighs, you begin to realize just how ruined you are, wanting with every inch of your heart to run away from the person who has caused you so much distress yet feeling such a heavy desperation in your throbbing cunt as you gaze upon Armin’s gorgeous figure, his collared shirt slightly unbuttoned and wrinkled, warm red blush thrashed upon his face in contrast with cool blue eyes.

In the midst of it all, you can’t recall how quickly he jerked you onto his lap, rudely pulled your panties to the side, and forcefully thrusted his cock into your messy cunt. Though taking you by an uncomfortable surprise, you hate - hate - to admit how good it felt riding the student council president, Armin Arlert’s, cock, hate to admit how the mixture of abusive slander and your bully’s member inside you made your body shiver with euphoria.

Choose your ending: 1 2

[mxtxsblog]

SJ wasn't a monster to LBH.

I imagine you had noticed that I have a new baby, Shen Jiu.

Yes, I binged all SVSSS (the animation, not yet all the book) and the character I devote myself to he’s the character who appears for roughly 10 seconds. This is art.

Never fear, I will return to Xue Yang rants soon.

But anyway. I love love love love SJ and he 100% deserved better and if you don’t love him, I suggest blocking me.

Because I love my precious hateful baby and no, I’m not gonna stop.

So, SJ is not just a misunderstood villain, is THE misunderstood villain. I mean, all of his crimes were false (aside from his cruelty against LBH)!!!

Killing his martial brother? He was trying to save him! (a man who despised, humiliated, hurt him)

Going to brothels? For being able to sleep, FFS!

And so go on.

In the end, he was innocent or had excusable circumstances.

So I really want to take every accusation against him with a grain of salt, because the truth was (incredibly!) different.

And with all those lies, it’s interesting that no other student said that he was cruel against them, too.

So, I present you my theory (and I consider this canon): SJ wasn't a monster to LBH.

Yes, he was cruel. Yes, he mistreated and humiliated him. No, he wasn't a monstrous abusive scum.

(really broken emotional English under the cut)

In MXTX's novels harsh and physical discipline is expected and well-tolerated. Yes, SJ was way crueler than the norm (YQY told him about it, after all), but I don't think it was anything similar to what SJ had to suffer as a slave (or the petty cruelty that Xue Yang).

Proofs:

1- No other abused students. Strange, if SJ was so cruel.

2- Ning Yingying wasn't disgusted by the situation, only annoyed by the cruelness of the other boys. She even told LBH to go to Shizun to ask for help. Yes, she could be naive, but she was not a stupid girl.

3- LBH wasn't crippled, nor killed. If SJ really wanted to do this, he had the opportunity to do it.

4- All the peaks lords hated the demons. I have no doubt every one of them would have tried to kill LBH during the reveal.

5- At the start of the series, LBH doesn't hate/despise his shizun, even if he's living in poor conditions. So they weren't so poor?

6- The list of sufferings the system makes at the start isn't monstrous.

I'm not saying that SJ was right in his treatment of LBH! He was wrong, he abused his power and he was unfair! It was terrible, calling him a beast, not doing anything about the bullying, using lots of physical discipline, all of this.

But he wasn't a monster. He wasn't. What LBH did to him was disproportionate retribution (and how!!! Even canon said every sin against him was multiplied by 1000!).

If the tragic backstory of our villain protagonist woobie destroyer of the world, evil overlord, is "my teacher was mean to me", it really sucks. Overlord LBH is a disgusting torturer, petty, cruel, power-hungry. I really can't understand because so many people consider him justified. In universe, I can see it: a parody of violent protagonists loved by the readers.

I like overlord LBH! I love the beast. I love reading fics in which he is a monster. But I would never consider him good.

In a fandom that loves to villainy JC because he killed demonic cultivators (a rumor? self-defense? etc.), I'm surprised people love overlord LBH without irony but I didn't really expect anything better.

So, why in the world is LBH so hungry for vengeance? Why does he want to hurt hurt hurt (years of torment, right?) SJ? Why didn't he kill SJ and the hell with it? (as WXX did with the Wens who destroyed his home and killed his sect?) Why did he want to hurt him in a very personal way, reducing him to his plaything?

And no mistakes, LBH doesn't care about the other supposed crimes. Or yes, he cares because they are the proof that SJ was evil, his ticket to get a SJ to abuse torment torture forever. His reassuring that there was nothing good, nothing to save about his man. His tool to destroy SJ's reputation (even if he did have a poor reputation, to begin with).

I think it was because LBH was obsessed with SJ. Has always been, will forever be. A visceral heartbreaking soulcrushing mindsplattering obsession. So everything not good (so, everything) that SJ did to LBH, for him it was a critical point, please multiply x1000.

His cruelty, his neglect, his indifference, for many others would have been not so serious, in the end. But LBH's obsession made them the worst.

You don't torture destroy abuse a man for years if you didn't care for him. Just kill him. And what about when LBH told SJ he killed YQY?

LBH wasn't satisfied. Because he realized that SJ didn't lack a heart, he just didn't care for HIM.

And the extra when he meets a new Shizun? His reaction is not "Sick! A version of that bastard is married to a version of me, this really sucks!" but "Yes, Shizun, love me, fuck me, come home with me, be mine forever". Years after his SJ died, we have to guess. And STILL he's stuck in his obsession.

So yeah. I don't buy that SJ was a monster, but yes, he was wrong and he had to be stopped. But what LBH did to him was terrible and uncalled for.

(I am skeptical about the fact that SJ ordered his students to bully LBH. I really don't buy it, I think he simply didn't care it happened and was very harsh with him. But this is off the point).

In the end, LBH didn't care about right or wrong, he just wanted to possess SJ, and if he couldn't have him as a lover or a human pet, he would have had him as a plaything. That's all.

I think that if SJ wasn't cruel to him, but just didn't care about him, LBH would have been obsessed as well, maybe he would have kept him as a human pet to molest to his heart desire.

In the end, sure there are parallels between LBH and SJ's cruel situations.

But SJ was way way worse. For once, he was a slave, he couldn't escape, meanwhile, LBH could decide to go away anytime (and he didn't). I think SJ wanted him to go away because LBH really viscerally disgusted him, and so he hoped to drive him away. But LBH never did (and Xiao Jiu would have loved to be in his shoes and just go away).

Additionally, LBH was deeply obsessed with a man who was beautiful, elegant, interesting, but he didn't know almost anything about him. A sort of 1 d scum villain. If he had known the truth... I think this obsession would have multiplied (off cart, and it was already of the world). Because this wonderful broken man is even more interesting. I think he would have felt better to know he was in deep obsession with a so contradictory charming broken man. (So yes, all hail fics in which LBH discover the truth and it makes him even more obsessed).

To conclude: In the end, LBH became a monster, and SJ didn't.

To conclude 2: SJ suffered worse than LBH and went away saner (he wasn't, but LBH is worse).

[fridayfirefly]

A Friend at Midnight

Read A Friend at Midnight on AO3

Masterlist

Written for Maribat March Day 13 - Reverse Robins

Dick hated Gotham Academy. He hated the pretentious, overqualified teachers. He hated the stuck-up, shallow students. He hated their expensive cars and their designer clothes and their smug faces. He hated the way they sucked up to him to his face but called him a circus freak behind his back. Especially, Dick hated their parties, where they drank and smoked and got high on party drugs.

However, a new drug was emerging in the back alleys of Gotham and Batman needed to know how far it had reached. So, as the only member of the family still in high school, it was Dick's job to infiltrate the party and investigate exactly what type of drugs his classmates were using. Dick wasn't happy about it but he didn't have much of a choice. Robin was Batman's sidekick, which meant that he didn't get to pick and choose his missions.

After an hour at Tony McLaughlin's house party Dick could safely say that the worst drug at the party was some ecstasy that Tony's older brother supplied. All Dick wanted to do was wash his hands and get away from the party, hopefully with enough time that he could still patrol with Tim. Dick rarely got to patrol with his older brother, who was so busy with his classes at Gotham University that he only ever came home during breaks.

Dick's plans for the night were derailed when he walked into the bathroom to see a girl lying in the bathtub, headphones in her eyes. Her eyes were closed, mascara messy from the tears. Dick recognized her as one of Lila's friends. She was a quiet girl, which was odd because most of Lila's friends were just as obnoxiously talkative as Lila.

"Are you alright?" asked Dick.

The girl blinked open her eyes. "I'm fine. I just wanted to get away from Lila."

At that moment, Lila Rossi poked her head through the bathroom door. "Dick, how nice to see you here." Lila said his name like it was honey on her tongue, lips curling into a smile as she spoke. Her eyes, however, betrayed her intentions. Dick was good at reading people. Good enough to know that Lila Rossi was bad news. "I didn't think you came to parties like this, not that I'm complaining. I see you've met the foreign exchange student that my family is hosting, Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

It said a lot about Lila, thought Dick, that she said Marinette's relation to her before she said Marinette's name.

Dick shrugged, putting on his best nonchalant expression. "I just came to check it out. I was about to leave, anyway.

"You should stay. I'm sure you want to get to know Marinette. Isn't she just the cutest? We're best friends, Marinette and I." Lila got a little closer to Dick with every sentence until she was nearly pressed against his chest.

"Actually, I'm going home." Marinette pulled herself up out of the bathroom. Dick noted a few more details about her that he had missed in his first evaluation. There was alcohol on her breath as well as a plastic cup half-full of beer beside the bathtub. There was a bruise on the left side of her face, expertly hidden under her thick coat of makeup but easily detected by Dick, who was trained to recognize signs of abuse. There were also bruises on her knees, slightly obscured beneath her opaque tights, and scrapes on the palms of her hands. The evidence was overwhelming that there was something wrong with Marinette.

Lila rolled her eyes. "We're not leaving until the party's over."

"I'll take an uber."

"You didn't bring your wallet. How are you going to pay for that uber?" asked Lila, her tone starting to harden.

"I can drive Marinette home," said Dick. His offer was half a kindness towards Marinette, who looked like hell even though she was one of the most sober people at the party, and half because it gave him an excuse to leave without blowing his cover as just another partygoer.

"I don't think that's appropriate," said Lila. She looked scandalized at the suggestion that Dick and Marinette would go home together, which was an odd choice, considering she had propositioned Dick many times in his years at Gotham Academy.

"I don't care" Marinette walked out of the bathroom without another word, leaving Dick to trail after her as she made her way to the door, only detouring to grab a coat off of the back of one of the couches in the living room. She walked through the house like she owned the place, shooting glares at anyone who dared to get in her way. Dick didn't know how he had never noticed Marinette before - or, more accurately, he didn't know how he never saw through the mask of an empty-headed party girl that she put on when she was around Lila.

As soon as they left the house, Marinette started shivery, the cold December wind whipping her hair around her head. Dick showed her to his car and she climbed into the passenger seat, warming her hands against the heating vent as soon as he turned the car on.

"Where do you live?" asked Dick once they pulled out of the driveway.

"Lila's house is over on Washington Street," spoke Marinette, shifting in her seat so that she was hugging her knees.

Dick drove in silence, pretending out of politeness that he couldn't see the tears that started to slip down Marinette's face. However, when Marinette broke down in sobs it was much more difficult to not notice. "Could you pull over?" asked Marinette, sniffling as she spoke.

"Sure." Dick pulled his car into a gas station parking lot. After a few minutes, Marinette calmed down, her tears drying up.

"I'm sorry. I've just been having a hard time. Gotham is a big change from Paris," apologized Marinette.

"Lila said you were a foreign exchange student," noted Dick.

Marinette stared out the window and watched the cars driving by. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"And now?"

Marinette turned to look at him, an unnerving sadness in her blue eyes. "Have you ever noticed how terrible Gotham is? There's so much pain out there and I can't escape it. It sucks you in and makes you feel like you deserve it."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I guess I should explain how I got here. When I decided that I wanted to participate in the foreign exchange program, I was given a choice between a couple of different host families. Lila called me up on the phone every night for a week before I made my choice assuring me that we would be best friends. All I wanted was a best friend, so I chose her, only to find out that every word she said to me was a lie. At first, Lila just wanted someone to torment, to make herself look and feel better. But when she couldn't wear me down fast enough, she changed tactics. She started taking me to parties and forcing me to get drunk and parading me around in front of her rich friends."

"Can you change host families?"

Marinette shook her head. "All of the other host families for Gotham Academy were given students of their own. Unless another family enrolls half-way through the semester, I'm stuck with Lila. I only left her at the party to get a moment away from her constant attention. I just needed a break."

With this new information, Dick could begin to see how Lila had worn away at Marinette. The girl looked exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes that were only half-hidden by her makeup.

"If you want to get away from Lila for the night, I could take you to my house. We have plenty of spare bedrooms."

The relief in Marinette's eyes was enough to break Dick's heart. It was obvious that Lila's abuse had taken its toll on the girl. "Thank you."

Dick turned the car around and started driving back to the Manor.

"Can I ask you a question?" Marinette piped up.

"Sure."

"Why did Lila call you a dick? She's usually much better behaved around attractive boys."

Dick let out a laugh. "My name is Dick."

Marinette tilted her head in confusion. "I thought that your name was Grayson?"

"Richard Grayson, but I go by Dick. But I think the more important thing to pay attention to is the fact that you called me attractive."

Marinette blushed. "I'm not going to flatter you by debating an objective fact."

"So you think my attractiveness is an objective fact?" teased Dick.

Marinette groaned. "I just can't win with you, can I?"

"Not if I can help it." Dick pulled the car up the driveway and into the garage. "Let's get you inside. You look cold."

Marinette glanced down at her outfit, the dress that was four inches shorter than the Gotham Academy regulation skirts and the white tights that were so thin they couldn't hide the bruises that marred her knees. "I wanted to wear pants, but Lila threatened to throw out all of my jeans if I didn't put a dress on."

Dick frowned, already making plans to have Bruce open up one of the spare bedrooms for Marinette permanently. There was no way he was sending Marinette back into the lion's den that was the Rossi household. "We've got company!" yelled Dick as he and Marinette came in through the side door. It was best to warn his family when there was company over so that they could at least pretend to be a normal family that didn't spend their nights fighting crime.

Dick led Marinette through the kitchen and into the foyer, just as Tim was coming down the stairs two at a time. "Who's our company?" he asked, giving Marinette an interested look.

"I offered Marinette her one of the spare rooms to spend the night," explained Dick.

"I'm Marinette." Marinette gave Tim a wave. Dick was struck by how different this Marinette looked from the girl who stormed through the McLaughlin's living room like everyone there was beneath her. In the empty foyer of Wayne Manor, with a hesitant smile on her face, Marinette looked vulnerable. Dick could tell that this was the real Marinette, not the mask she wore in front of Lila.

"It's nice to meet you, Marinette. I'm Tim." Tim turned his attention back to Dick, narrowing his eyes. "I"m going to tell Bruce about our guest while you show Marinette to her rooms."

Dick nodded. "Sure, I'll meet you at Bruce's office."

"I hope I'm not causing any trouble," said Marinette once they were alone and making their way to the guest wing.

Dick shook his house. "My brothers have friends over all the time. You're much better behaved than anyone Jason has brought home."

"I'll be on my best behavior," promised Marinette, giving Dick a tentative smile as she brushed one hand against Dick's forearm and the other against the doorknob of the door that would be hers for the night. "Thanks for taking me home."

"No problem," said Dick. As soon as he heard the latch of Marinette's door click he was walking to Bruce's office. Dick was certain that Bruce would have no qualms opening up his house to Marinette once Dick explained her situation. Bruce had a soft spot for kids with dark hair and blue eyes who came from troubled home situations.

All three of his brothers were in Bruce's office by the time Dick entered the room.

"Welcome back, Grayson," Damian spoke first. The neutral look on his brother's face was Dick's first indication that something might have gotten lost in translation when Tim saw him bringing Marinette into the Manor. Looking back, he probably should have warned them ahead of time. Sneaking (though sneaking wasn't necessarily the right word for it since he announced their presence as soon as they got through the door) a drunk girl through the side door might not have been the best idea.

"I heard you brought a friend home with you," said Bruce, his tone aggressively non-judgmental.

Jason wasn't so considerate - his voice was hot with disapproval. "I thought your mission was reconnaissance only. I don't think that bringing home some sleazy drunk girl was a part of that mission."

Dick glowered at Jason, who had been in a bad mood since Bruce discovered and disposed of his stash of cigarettes earlier that week. “Don’t talk about Marinette like that. She didn't have anywhere safe to go, so I brought her here until she finds a place to stay."

"Why don't you take a seat and explain what happened tonight, before we jump to any conclusion." Bruce directed the last part of his statement towards Jason, who pointedly refused to look guilty.

"Marinette is an exchange student from Paris. Her host family has been allowing their daughter to take advantage of her. Lila Rossi has been taking Marinette to parties and plying her with alcohol as some sort of party trick for her friends, knowing that Marinette can't escape the situation without losing her spot in the exchange program. I couldn't, in good conscience, allow Marinette to return home to them, so when she expressed a desire to stay the night somewhere else, I offered up one of the guest bedrooms."

Jason had the decency to look guilty. "I guess I should apologize for jumping to conclusions. Sorry, Dickie Bird. I should've known you wouldn't try anything."

"Is there any way for her to switch host families?" asked Tim, the problem-solver of his brothers.

Dick nodded. "The only issue with her switching host families is that there are none available right now for her to stay with. I'm sure that won't be an issue much longer."

Bruce had his laptop out and was composing an email before Dick finished his sentence. "I'll arrange for our family to be registered as a host family for the Gotham Academy Foreign Exchange Program. Hopefully, we can get this all sorted out soon so that Marinette can move in over the weekend."

Dick grinned. His family might drive him crazy sometimes, but they always pulled through for him in the end. Marinette wouldn't have to worry anymore. His family would keep her safe.

@maribatmarch-2k21

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,544 Words

Summary: Twin trouble and the bakusquad plans to take Touya out shopping.

Warnings: Child Abuse Mention, Death Mention, Homophobia Mentions, Cursing, Injury Mention, Immunocompromised Character, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Notes: Touya’s clothes include links to what they look like.

Hair Dye Buddies: Chapter 3

Learning the basics with his new quirk took to him instantly as he used ways he'd used to watch their father train Shoto with his quirks. The snow felt so calm under his fingertips, the naturality of it far better than the fire that he was born with.

By the end of the class, several snowmen and snow angels had been made and he was very proud with his quick advancement. Everyone seemed happy with his quirk and it made him so eager to please them.

"Tomorrow's training will be more fighting with quirks. I need to get you all ready for the upcoming licensing exam." Aizawa told them on their walk back to class. "Yes, you will be included, Touya. I've spoken to Nezu and all you'll need to do is catch yourself up in your studies and your quirk training, which should be no problem given you take to things so easily. Though yours would be temporary." Aizawa told him.

"This doesn't mean you all will be hurrying to spar with each other tonight, I will put you in detention if you do. Touya, you're allowed to tinker around with your quirk under teacher supervision if you want since, even if you've taken hold of it quickly, it's still brand new to you." Aizawa told him.

Of course, Sir." He nodded, trailing with Shoto.

"So you're officially a UA student, Touya." He was giddy, he'd always wanted to attend UA but father forced him into a no-name school with barely any accountability for their students and had even listed him under their mother's maiden name to keep him away.

"How are Fuyumi and Natsuo?" Touya asked abruptly. Shoto looked bewildered at the sudden conversation shift. Then he realized it might be because Shoto was never allowed around them. He might not know their names, even.

"Sorry, I know you're not even that close to them, us three were so clumped together and you were so much later we never actually bonded together as siblings or anything and you were probably forced away once I was gone so you probably never even knew them." Touya sighed.

"Actually, we're pretty close now. I guess we all realized losing you meant we needed to stick together as much as possible. We even have a group chat without dad. We call it the Endeavor Hate Chat." Shoto smiled and Touya laughed.

"Oh, now you have to show me how much you bash the old man. How old's he now, 45, 46?"

"46. Just turned it like two months ago." Touya gave a chuckle.

"Wow, talk about the timing of that stupid deaging. It's the same time in the year too. I'm starting to think someone put a spell on me like Sleeping Beauty. Come back the same age five years later to torment my little brother." Touya teased.

"I'm not so little anymore. I'm a week older than you." Shoto teased back.

"Oh come on, it's not by much!" Touya exclaimed, getting the class to snicker at their petty argument of age.

"Anyway, how are Natsu and Yumi? You never answered." Touya reminded him.

"Well, Fuyumi's a kindergarten teacher's aid, she's got a secret girlfriend or two and a secret boyfriend too. That woman is pulling too many people at this point. I really have tried to get her to talk to a therapist about her mommy and daddy issues but it isn't really working as you can tell. Natsuo is in college still, becoming a nurse. He has a husband now, they eloped not this summer but the summer before. He's really happy. Both are doing okay. Yumi says she wants kids in the future still and I'm hoping Dad doesn't latch onto it and try to pick her a husband or something to keep 'good quirks' in the family."

Touya smiled knowing his now-older siblings were happy in life. It was all he'd hoped they'd get when he was younger, he couldn't believe they got their happy endings despite his lack of involvement.

"Me, though, I'm going to be a hero just to save people. Unlike his goals for me, I want to be a hero that's a good person as well as a good hero so he won't be giving me the title of Number One, he'll be handing his mantle to part of the next generation he didn't make, likely. And he has a rude awakening if he thinks he'll get his grandchildren to succeed him." Shoto smiled deviously.

"Why?" Touya asked.

"Because he doesn't know I'm gay yet and I won't be giving him biological grandchildren. I plan to adopt kids in need instead. The only children he'll have are Fuyumi's and yours." Shoto proudly stated.

"You say this like I'm not gay too. I'm not having kids." Touya cackled.

"Yumi's got a whole next family generation on her hands then. All the boys can now wipe their hands clean of the reproduction process." Shoto was trying hard not to laugh, so was Touya.

"I ain't never seen four straight siblings. Always three of 'em gotta be gay." Midoriya announced, bursting the whole class into laughter besides the grape-looking gremlin.

"Ew, gays!" The juice gremlin exclaimed, interrupting everyone's fun.

"Shut the fuck up, Mineta." Aizawa instructed the grape gremlin.

"Yes, sir." Mineta agreed.

"I'm glad you ended up bonding with them. I remember being so worried when you were born because the three of us had each other and you were five years younger than us. I was always worried you'd never bond with us."

"Well, you guys were triplets. It's a different bond, I guess." Shoto sighed. "I just know that they were devastated when they heard you disappeared. We all thought you'd run away because the old man never said anything about kicking you out. We thought you'd died on the streets. You have a tombstone in Mom's garden still." Shoto told him.

"They always did joke about burying me in the yard." Touya laughed.

"I'm so glad you get another chance at life. Once we're able to tell Natsuo and Fuyumi, they'll be overjoyed." Shoto butted his shoulder with his own.

"I hope they'll be happy." Touya smiled a bit.

The day was easy after that. He wasn't all that behind in his studies, even excelled a English. During a hero lesson, he got sent to Recovery Girl, who tried to figure out the quirk that caused this and how it worked.

They'd ultimately ended up that this was more than likely permanent now that things had changed from how his life had originally went, especially once he told her of Ryuu and the quirk change. Then she forcefully healed the cuts and burns on his hands and arms from Ryuu and sent him back to class for Math.

The school day was over before he knew it and he was following Bakugou back to the dorms and he went to his own room, it was still bare, just a bed and a desk and a television set up in the corner.

"Hey, Cotton Candy, we're going out, you wanna come?" Bakugou asked.

"I'd be in my school uniform. Aren't we not supposed to wear them when we're not on campus?" He asked.

"We're the same size, just take some clothes. Mina wants to go clothes shopping anyway." Bakugou told him.

"Okay, but I don't have any money." Touya reminded him.

"IcyHot already agreed to let you take your dad's credit card. We're buying you clothes whether you like it or not." Bakugou told him, shoving some clothes at him and he fumbled a second but held them while Bakugou closed his door. "Get dressed! We're leaving in like twenty minutes once Pikachu does his makeup."

Touya was grateful Bakugou had handed him black jeans with cuts on the knees and a baggy black sweater with a skull on it, the comfort of it was astronomical. He put back on the black boots he'd shown up to UA in last night and headed out to Mina in the men's hallway, wolf whistling at him and Sero laughing telling him he fit right in.

"Question, does anyone have a mask I can borrow? My immune system is pretty weak, I got a lot of the weaker genetics in the family so I get sick pretty easy."

"Yeah, man, Shoji has a ton of extra masks." Sero told him. Kirishima was already knocking on Shoji's door for him.

"Hey, man, can Touya borrow a mask, his immune system sucks and we're taking him out shopping."

"Sure, I have some smaller ones my sister sent me a while back that don't fit me." Shoji rummaged a moment and then handed Kirishima a few masks with Halloween themed patterns on them. "Have fun out in the world, Touya." Shoji reminded him.

"I will, thank you, Shoji!" Touya smiled brightly at him as he put on the black mask with the orange and yellow jack'o'lantern pattern.

Being handed Endeavor's credit card by Shoto and told to go wild at the mall was like a fever dream when he used to have to ask and beg for months for new things and then he was made to work himself to the bone for it.

Taglist: @lgbtforeverything @rin-tanaka @everythingisstardust

[floxalopex]

I don't know if somebody already did this specifically. But yh the heck let's go.

WARNING 1: THIS IS NOT A POST FOR SENSITIVE PEOPLE AND/OR MINORS. (it contains gore and sexual themes and more).

And yes, SALT. Lots of salt.

WARNING 2: this has nothing to do with Christianity specifically. Atheism isn't hate towards your god(s) and/or its believers. Although there are many forms of atheism (some of which are so strong and violent they make me furious) think about mine as a general form of indifference. I hate the Church state, yes, but sorry I have that "at home" so please don't blame me. I don't like Abrahamic religions in general, but I've grown up with one.

I'm thankfully not a cult survivor, but I can understand some things.

WARNING 3: living in a very religious contest I have many beloved friends and relatives (starting with my mother) who believe in their god a lot. So if my words are too disrespectful tell me, I really don't want to hurt anybody.

Okay.

So.

I've seen many similarities between the cult Horde Prime put his clones in and your very average, very white, very western idea of Christianity.

1) Theophagy:

First of all, I really don't know much how this thing is lived in other Christian countries, but in mine they put a lot of emphasis on the Eucharist.

As far as I've seen I think it's pretty obvious how much in ancient cultures there's a very carnal and very grounded idea of the spirit. That can result in believing the soul to be the "psyche", so literally "the breath of life", the coordination of your sinapsis togheter (to me a very poetic definition of how our whole being ourselves is just us being our central nervous system) or it can lead to you eating the ashes of your granpa so you get his good qualities (something some cultures still do today). They said that the head of Orpheus was buried in the island of Lesbo and that's why its land was filled with amazing poets like Sappho. There's this very, sorry, brutal idea of the embodyment of the soul, the talents of a person, that even a piece of corpse is considered a magic thingy.

This is no different in the very old, very ancient, very rural Christian religion (at least in the most common version of it, we have many flavours of one truth apperentely).

When I was in High School we studied a lot Bacchus and the Baccanalia, because there are several commedies about it. My teacher, being very religious, was almost ashamed to admit that a lot of acts of those festivities (let's say that the most normal thing was for women to give their milk to animal cubs) were actually not very dissimilar in their rawness to certain habits of the religion.

So, what about Horde Prime? (me *yh, what about it, stupid ADHD?*). I have seen a post in the past explaining that yes, even though spacebats have the dentition of a frugivore bat and not haematophagus bat, the scene of Prime recharging in his throne with all those disgusting cables filled with green liquid referred as "the life force" of his clones...well, it's surely something.

Looks like a sort of sci-fi vampire thing. Which is very cool and I love this headcanon. So again I kept thinking...what is THAT amniotic fluid? I am a student, so correct me if I say something wrong.

Amniotic fluid is a combination of water 99%, proteins, glucids, fats and some salts (...it's even effective for electric conduction...the heck is that pool).

The most similar body fluid is plasma, so blood less cells. Even the serum, so plasma less proteins, is very similar.

Now, stated that Prime is a manipulative jerk, stated that I don't know much about aliens' physiology, stated that that fluid can come from blood potentially, in Church they say this:

*and Jesus said: "This is my body/blood which I offer in sacrifice for you"*

Apart from it being very creepy, there's this idea in the whole religion-thingy: if you are human you are a selfish monster, so monstrous you made our Lord and Savior die for your sins for how messed up you were.

So basically you don't become a sinner, you are concived as one. Humanity is sin itself, it can never lead to something good.

So are the clones. That's why Prime, in his benevolence, feeds them with himself. To make them pure, to protect them from the outside world. To make them remember who their strenght comes from.

If you don't want to read all of this just go for the Futurama soda episode, it's basically the same thing. Bleah.

2) Corpse feticism and more.

Again, don't know you guys, but here we are filled with mummies. I went in a place in Palermo and ...my gosh why did I do that.

We have everything here, hands, heads, feet, teeth so many of them, dead babies, dead virgins, dead popes, dead elders, all of them for half the prize, but only if you call today.

We are. Filled. With these atrocities. At least we don't touch them anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if, apart from the "hygene", people in Middle Ages used to die at the honorable age of 13 also because they kissed those... thingies there.

So, can we please talk about Horde Prime collection of "previous selves"?

This man has a whole room filled with corpses of himself. In the Vatican you can find corpses of dead popes as well, preserved and even dressed in a very good way. In Italy in general we have these, I remember a whole room in a town near my city filled with skeletons of "saints". Personally I find it very disturbing because you are basically not allowing that body to rest and serve its last biological purpose, especially if you consider that most of these "saints" were mentally impared young kids who were killed brutally and died as "martyrs". In ancient Greece the WORST thing you could do to a corpse was to leave it unburied, without dignity.

It's getting darker now.

I like both headcanons for Prime, that of a spoiled (maybe even sexist) royal of a lost culture who wanted to conquer the universe and that of him being a sort of ancient evil spirit, but I personally like to stick with the latter.

Imagine the old bodies of the clones Prime used for himself. Pushed to their limits. Clones dying young is horrific as well, but like these people were forced to go on. Not to die. Not to age as much as possible. And now that they are dead they can't even rest. They are a show off for anyone to see. Their brains preserved and their literal dead flesh still tormented for reading.

One may ask me, then what about corpses in formalin for medical use? Well, one thing is a donor or a dead fetus or a corpse nobody claims. That's the story of the skeleton in my university, a young male who didn't eat much. A very lonely man. Well at least now he is well loved and appreciated, ah if only he knew that.

The point is, we respect them. We are grateful for the informations they give us. Gosh, I know I'm creepy, but I even cuddled one bone once. We know they probably suffered. Like, search for HeLa cells. That lady has my highest respect.

But Prime? Those are. Vessels. Just that.

Anyways, apart for the "respect the deads thing" I found Hordak's behaviour in that room that of high distress. Like, ehm, any normal person? Search for "Convento Dei Cappuccini", that place I was talking about in Palermo. The fact that I heard kids cry and "MEMENTO MORI" everywhere.

Everyone and everything is afraid of death, I just accepted that fear because it's normal. That doesn't mean I want to be reminded of it every week, especially if I'm a 7 yo kid.

Honorable mentions: that horrible art collection.

3) Double standards

When I went to catechism my teacher used a very feather hand on males and an iron fist on us ladies. We weren't allowed to wear trousers, to play football, to raise our voice. We were forced to be very clean, to sit with our legs as closed as possible. I heard it was worse before, at least we could play volleyball and weren't forced to knit.

We were however "encouraged" to sing and bake stupid cakes for Sundays. Mind you, I'm very feminine, but one thing is liking ribbons one thing is being a slave.

The boys...well, they could literally do anything. They broke things, used petards, beat each other. They were NEVER reproached, the teachers would say "oh, they are just boys". Like once I was so engrossed. I remember I had to sit behind a guy with his butt almost uncovered (because the lower you put the helm of your trousers the cooler you were) while I had to stay still with my head high, chest out, belly in and legs closed for 2h. The problem was: I almost pitied him. I was like "poor thing he doesn't know how to behave properly". That's so crazy, I was piting a free soul while I had my hands handcuffed because I truly believed the bullshit they put into my mind.

Now, imagine how did Horde Prime's clones feel about Catra and Glimmer.

They can dress as they please. Eat non amniotic fluid. Catra can even go wherever she wants.

To me, they didn't feel envious. As they should! That's how far an indoctrination can go.

Take Yudi interaction with Catra, he believes everything he is saying.

But I think deep down he knows, they all know, the truth, juding by his bitter reaction after being possesed. He knows he is the slave here, not the free man. But he wants to believe the other way round.

I think that yes, of course Prime kept Glimmer and Catra (and Hordak) because he needed them to conquer Etheria. But that is also a good way to show to the poor clones of how lost people far away from Prime's light can be. Slaves of their bodly needs and slaves of their individuality.

4) Sexual abuse

Do I need to explain this? Plus all those sick touches Prime gives not only to Hordak, but to Glimmer, Catra and Adora as well?

I don't know much about other countries, again, but here the Church is a real cancer. If a priest gets accoused of raping children he just gets put into another Church far away, and generally he keeps being a pedo even there and the game goes on.

I wouldn't exately say that Prime is a pedophile but clones are pretty innocent and neotenic to me so...idk.

Of course, Prime is his own state and his own rules, so yh. Raping all day. That's why I don't like to ship him with anything rather than a 100 m fall. Not even with his clones, sorry I know its kinky maybe but he is a monster.

Also, the way the clones feel like...honored to be raped. That's so sad. Maybe he convinced them this is the only right way they could experience sex and intimacy. I really don't know.

One thing I'm sure of is that Christian religion likes to often put shame on some "impure" acts. That's the name. The most impure of all is masturbation. If you are a male ...mmm well it's okay dear, it's not your fault you are male and so a sex starved animal. But if you are a girl? Ihhh oh dare you bitch.

Mind you, I fall in the ace spectrum but I did too have puberty and needs, and these thoughts in my head made me only conflicted.

Last thing. More of an asking. And more irriverent, so please stay away if you don't want to read.

So basically I understood I was atheist at 5 yo, just because I read two different versions of the birth of the Universe, one in my science book and one in my Bible (MY Bible, I still have it, was a gift of my aunt) and preferred the science version. I still felt conflicted, like once during a religion lesson at School (well...I don't blame Mussolini much in this case, I mean the Vatican wasn't still recognizing country indipendence and we needed a compromise) the teacher told me to stop drawing dinosaurs with Adam and Eve because they never existed. I mean...yes that's anachronistic but still I felt very sad, dinosaurs were cooler than that story. I remember I even made an experiment "if I say I don't believe in god will I get thunderstruck?". It didn't happen so I was like "oh cool, science wins". But then CATECHISM ecc ecc. The fun fact is that they think atheists are those who don't study religion, while I was the most zelous of the class.

So.

I just wonder...my baby boy Hordak is a man of science, what were his thoughts after his separation from Prime. I mean of course he still believed, but also not as much after some time. Entrapta is a support system for him of course, but he accepts her affection quite easily on canon. Which is amazing, still... maybe he was already doubting his devotion?

[candyshua]

To Live a Life of Happiness {Choi Seungcheol x Reader}

genre: heavy angst, some fluff, drama

synopsis: you move to daegu from seoul, in search of some form of independence before your inevitable fate plays out. there, you meet choi seungcheol, a confused and lonely boy who didn’t know how to deal with the love you gave him.

pairing: seungcheol x female reader

warnings: emotional and physical abuse, trauma, death during childbirth, cancer, & one makeout scene (non descriptive)

word count: 6,461

a/n: i’m not too proud of this, seeing as i wrote a lot of it while high. but i just need to post something!! 

If there was one thing Seungcheol knew about his life, it was that he was painfully and utterly alone.

As a child, he would play by himself. The other kids looked at him with fear, since false rumors surrounded his name. Whenever the word “Seungcheol” was uttered, an untrue tale would soon be told about the poor boy.

He would go home to a quaint apartment every afternoon. When Seungcheol would first walk through the door, his father could be heard releasing a sigh of frustration. After a while, the sharp pain of never being enough turned into a dull ache. He just learned to live with it.

Barely.

He wouldn’t dare to ask his dad what was for dinner. Truth be told, the boy usually made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich every night. His father would never make food for him.

Seungcheol didn’t deserve his father’s love, he knew that. He knew that there was something wrong with the people that cared for him.

“You know, Seungcheol,” His dad would say, “you shouldn’t trust anyone that says they love you. They’re lying, you know that, right? No one could ever love you.”

“Of course,” Seungcheol meekly whispered, “it’s just not possible.”

The days would drag on like that. Empty, mind-numbing days where he would feel nothing but pure self-hatred and guilt. The days turned into weeks, which turned into months, then years. Those hurtful emotions just became a part of Seungcheol’s daily life. He got better at providing for himself, as his father seemed to wither away. 

He had to feel the pain. If he were feeling anything remotely close to pleasure, he would just know that he didn’t deserve it.

He had survived all the way up until the age of seventeen that way. At that rate, he would die just the same way he lived—quietly and slowly.

But then, of course, you happened.

You were the new kid. You came in the middle of November, having missed a lot of the school year. It was typical of you, to arrive at the worst time.

You attracted everybody’s eyes the moment you stepped foot into the classroom. Even Seungcheol found himself staring at you. You elicited a pure kind of beauty, one that was enticing and tranquil.

“Ah, yes, Y/N! Please introduce yourself.” The teacher, Mr. Kim, suggested. You nodded, radiating with nothing but pure confidence.

Seungcheol didn’t know what that felt like, but he could recognize it. The way your dewy skin glowed, the way your smile was so damn charming, and the way you stood so proudly. It was truly admirable.

“Hey everyone! I’m Y/L/N Y/F/N, I’m from Seoul, and I really like to draw!” 

Seungcheol couldn’t help but crack a small grin at your enthusiasm. But, that grin soon morphed into a frown of terror when you sat down next to him. With wide eyes, Seungcheol stared straight ahead, looking at anything else but you. You and your beautiful smile, one that immediately grasped the attention of everyone else around you. Soon, you were being swarmed by the other students, them asking you questions you had no trouble answering. You were mesmerizing—how did you just answer them? Like it was nothing? How did you not freeze up with pure terror?

The day continued on like that. People were fascinated with you, the girl from the big city of Seoul. Seungcheol thought he could feel your gaze on him every so often, but he was much too timid to see if his intuition were true. Instead, he decided to continue reading his Korean History textbook, secretly praying that he could fast-forward to the end of that day.

At lunch, you managed to become even more of a confusing person to Seungcheol. The large cafeteria left room for many tables, and Seungcheol naturally chose the one that was most isolated. Every afternoon, he would stick his earbuds in and shuffle Radiohead on his phone, sitting all by himself.

And, for whatever reason, you decided to sit next to him on that day. Seungcheol wouldn’t render the fact that you would forever change his life from that point on for a long time after that. In fact, all Seungcheol felt in that pivotal moment was fear. Why were you sitting next to him? Were you going to torment him? Did he do something wrong?

Contrary to Seungcheol’s fears, you did quite the opposite.

“Hey,” You began with a genuine smile on your face, “you’re Seungcheol, right?”

He froze up. He had no other choice! How could he not? 

“H-how do you know my name?” Seungcheol managed to say. What a great first impression.

“Mr. Kim told me to sit next to you, and he mentioned your name when he told me. Sorry if that scared you!” You explained. There was something off in your explanation, though. It was the apology—it seemed too authentic. Like you were actually sorry. It didn’t sit right with him.

“Oh.” 

You giggled. And, for a moment, everything seemed right in the world. It was as if your melodic laugh ripped the weight off of Seungcheol’s shoulders, even for a brief amount of time. Your laugh was strange, but it made him feel oddly free and unburdened. It almost felt like everything was going to be okay.

Seungcheol’s eyes blinked in your direction. Even if he wholeheartedly adored your laugh, he was wondering what caused you to do so.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

He shook his head, his voluminous black hair shaking along with it. To you, Seungcheol was quite handsome. His doe-like brown eyes were quite refreshing, for some reason.

“So, you like Radiohead?”

“What?” Seungcheol gasped. You knew about Radiohead?

“I love Radiohead. They’re an amazing band!” You continued, rendering the poor boy speechless. Cool—you were so damn cool. Like the coolest person alive. You were confident, pretty, outgoing, and you fucking listened to Radiohead!

“Am I really playing it that loud?” Seungcheol laughed nervously. You nodded, but your expression was nonchalant. Unbothered. In fact, you seemed to welcome it.

“I’m not complaining!”

“Um,” Seungcheol began with his heart in his throat, “do you wanna listen? With me?”

The two seconds you took to “contemplate” his request felt like two hours. But, even though it was only two seconds, Seungcheol took in your entire appearance. You were undeniably beautiful, your eyes sparkly and your lips pursed with a playful kind of curiosity.

“I’d love to.”

So, he gave you one of the wires of his earbuds, and you gladly started listening along with him. You hummed along to the current song, which was Ripcord. Seungcheol stared at you, you who seemed so tranquil yet content in that simple moment. Your eyes were bright, and they looked at the world with such passion. Your smile was undeniably contagious, even if Seungcheol wanted to fight his own grin. Your posture was relaxed yet not hunched. 

Everything about you was so...free.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You scared Seungcheol in the best way possible. A week after the two of you listened to Radiohead together, you still continued to sit next to him during lunch every day. You even gathered the courage to ask him for his number, to which he eagerly obliged to give you.

Yet, Seungcheol couldn’t help but feel the fear of uncertainty clutch at his heart every

time you talked to him. Were you just messing with him? Why were you being so damn kind? He didn’t deserve it—any of it. He didn’t deserve your unprecedented kindness or your cheesy jokes.

When were you going to leave, just like everyone else? Or turn on him? Seungcheol wanted you to do it as soon as possible, so he wouldn’t get too attached. It would make everything easier if you just hated him, like the rest.

But that’s the thing—you only seemed to like him more every day. And it scared the shit out of him. He had been told his entire life that he couldn’t trust anyone who told him that they loved him.

So why did he so willingly open his heart to you?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been about a month since you’d come to Daegu, all the way from Seoul. December finally rolled around, making the weather drop dramatically. You loved the cold, for some reason. You flourished in the cold, in fact. The feeling of the frosty air against your skin just made everything better.

So, why were you so damn hot? It was December, and there you were, with Choi Seungcheol, in the art room at your current school. Your last class had already ended about an hour ago, but you asked Seungcheol to help you out with something in the art room. He happily helped, even if he tried to mask his joy with indifference. You couldn’t quite figure him out, but it’s not like he was some puzzle. He was a human being, but he was unlike any other person you had ever met. And you loved that.

Seungcheol was a breath of fresh air. Amid the chaos of your life, being able to talk to someone so tranquil and laid back was lovely. Even if you knew how things would end for you, and he did not, you still wanted to enjoy your adolescence. It was all you were ever going to have, anyway.

“So, what did you need my help with?” He nervously asked, coaxing a giggle out of you. He was so damn cute.

You walked over to a set of shelves, filled with various types of drawings and sculptures. Of course, the one you wanted to show him was on the top shelf. You jumped up and flailed your arms and tried to grab it, but it was no use.

Seungcheol snuck up on you like a cheetah to its prey, yet with no malicious intent. That boy was just so damn quiet. You froze when you felt his breath fan against your neck. He effortlessly reached up from behind you and grabbed the single drawing you were aiming for with ease. And, during that brief moment, your body temperature felt like it was raised by ten degrees. He handed you the paper, not even looking at what you drew. He just gave it to you, while wearing that stupid yet adorable smile of his. He didn’t even register the fact that he made you nervous on his radar. You didn’t know if you were grateful for that or not.

You finally managed to sputter a shy “thank you” and turned away, your cheeks reddened beyond belief. Then came the hard part, even if what you had just gone through nearly gave you a heart attack.

Seungcheol noticed your change in aura the moment you gave him the drawing you made. You, who was usually so damn confident and sure of herself, looked absolutely and utterly uncertain. And, before Seungcheol could even register that you had made that drawing for him, he came to a pivotal realization.

You were a human, just like him. You weren’t an angel, nor any other non-worldly being. You were mortal, and you got nervous just like him and everybody else on the planet. And, somehow, that made him feel ten times better. You weren’t perfect—good. That was good. He still liked you anyway.

Finally, Seungcheol looked down at the drawing. His eyes widened immediately. Shock rippled through his entire being, all the way to his core. But it wasn’t the type of shock that made him feel miserable, it was a type of shock that made him change the way he thought. Because, you had drawn him so wonderfully. It was simply him, sitting down on a lunch table, with his earbuds in. You had captured everything about Seungcheol so accurately, to the point where it made him feel like someone had taken a picture. The feeling was...lovely. Someone drew him. You drew him. And it was extraordinary.

You, who was so beautiful and passionate, you had put effort into making something for him. And he felt like the first time he heard you laugh—unburdened. Joyous. Like he could do anything. Like the world wasn’t so bad after all. 

Seungcheol didn’t realize he was crying until you had cupped his face and wiped his tears away. 

“Thank you,” He whispered, “from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.”

You smiled, feeling all of your nerves start to float away. He loved it, and you could tell from the moment he first laid eyes on the piece. 

That was why you liked to draw. Because it could bring some love into the world, even if the amount was small and seemingly insignificant. But, you still managed to make someone smile that day. You made someone feel important and loved. It didn’t matter if it was only one person, because that was all you wanted anyway. If you could just make one person’s life a little bit brighter, then you had fulfilled your purpose.

In spite of his tears, Seungcheol looked the happiest you had ever seen him. And it made your heart swell with an intense kind of affection, one that made you feel warm despite the freezing temperature outside.

“Come on,” You laughed, “let’s go get hot chocolate or something.” 

Seungcheol nodded, and he chuckled nervously. His voice was a bit cracked due to his crying, but you could tell that he was being genuine.

“That sounds wonderful.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Life was so damn unfair.

The doctor’s words rang through your ears unforgivingly, and you wanted nothing else but to scream at him. And everyone else in the world. You wanted to scream at whatever made you have to succumb to such a terrible fate. 

“I’m afraid to say you don’t have much time left.” 

You scoffed at those earth-shattering words.

“Fuck you.” You whispered to no one in particular. You were walking down the sidewalks of Daegu, passing through the crowd with anger in your heart. No one knew you. People could merely walk by you, look you in the eye, and then move on with their lives. Fuck them. They get to move on! They get to go and live their fucking lives!

And you? You get to die in six months. Maybe a few more if you’re lucky.

Tears are silently cascading down your face at that point, and there was no sign of them stopping. Your pace quickened, and your eyes were glued to the ground. Maybe, if you ignored everything for long enough, you could escape to a different reality. One where you weren’t destined to die as a teenager.

Alas, nothing like that happened. In fact, your day took a surprising turn. What was supposed to be a lonely Wednesday during winter break turned into one you would spend with Seungcheol, seeing as you had bumped into him on the pavement. Your brisk pace and inattentive eyes were your downfall. Seungcheol’s head was in the clouds, and the moment he registered the fact that you were going to crash into him, it was already much too late.

Afterwards, you backed up and wiped your tears. Your eyes met Seungcheol’s chocolate brown ones, and for a moment, you forgot the previous events of the day. You couldn’t help but smile, even if it was just for a bit.

“Y/N?” He croaked, fear thick in his tone. He was worried, since it was quite evident that you had been crying.

“Hey…” You sighed, scratching the back of your neck nervously. Reality had come back with an overpowering force, and you couldn’t contain the embarrassment you felt.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.” His response was immediate.

Woah. Did Seungcheol just call you out? When did he become assertive?

Unbeknownst to you, Seungcheol was equally surprised with himself. What had compelled him to be so aggressive? Maybe it’s because of you. If it had been anybody else, he wouldn’t have pushed so hard. But he cared about you. So much. And, he didn’t want you to pretend to be okay. Hell—he was being a hypocrite. He pretended to be okay around you, too. But maybe that could change.

It was the afternoon before Christmas Eve. Usually, you would spend Christmas with your parents, but you had left them behind in Seoul. Once you found out your impending doom, your first wish was to leave Seoul and live independently for a while, since you never experienced something so monumental.

You wouldn’t ever experience a lot of things, would you?

The tears came back in an even stronger wave. Before you could stop him, Seungcheol had grabbed your wrist and pulled you to where he came from, which was his apartment complex. The two of you were previously standing in the middle of the sidewalk, and it had started to overwhelm the both of you.

And, with your wrist in his hand, the two of you ran to Seungcheol’s apartment. You could smell the frost in the air, and you felt alive. Because you were—you were alive. And you wouldn’t be for long.

So stop wallowing in your own self-pity! Make the most of it!

Your eyes flitted to Seungcheol’s face. His entire expression screamed “worried”. He seemed to pick up pace the closer the two of you got, which made it much harder for you to keep up with. But you did.

And you couldn’t help but realize how damn handsome he was. From the first day you had met him, he had enticed you. He was adorable, yet loving and kind. And you liked him. A lot.

So, you stopped dead in your tracks. Seungcheol, confused, looked at you with concerned eyes. Before he could say anything, you grabbed the collar of his sweater and pulled him close to you. And then you were kissing—and it felt just like you thought it would. Right. It felt right.

It had taken Seungcheol a few seconds to realize what was happening. Then, he had kissed you back with just as much passion. God, why didn’t you do this sooner? 

His large hands cupped your face, and soon the two of you were full-on making out in front of his apartment complex. It got heated. Fast. And, suddenly, the deadly-cold air wasn’t cold enough to cool you off.

Finally, Seungcheol pulled away with a dazed expression. You gave him a shy yet snide smile.

“Well, um, that was...yeah.” He sputtered.

“You’ve got such a way with words.”

“Yeah, well, you fucking scared me, alright? Like, what the hell? You just—you just kissed me! Me! You kissed me!”

“I know.” You had to fight back your laughter.

“Well...um, why?”

“Because I like you, why else?”

Seungcheol’s frustration was oddly endearing to you. You couldn’t help the large smile that played at your swollen lips.

“But, you were crying! Why?”

You sighed. Suddenly, the smile on your face disappeared into a troubled frown. Seungcheol noticed your entire change in demeanor. He stepped closer, his confused nature being overshadowed by his concern.

“What’s wrong?” He continued. Tears started to fall from your eyes again. It was all so real—too real. You were dying. You were going to die, and there was nothing anybody in the world could do about it.

You jumped into Seungcheol’s arms, violently sobbing into the crook of his neck.

“Six months,” You began through cries, “I only have six months left to live. I thought I had more...I was doing so good.”

Shock. That’s all Seungcheol could feel when those words of poison fell from your mouth. This type of shock was unwelcomed. It wasn’t like what he felt when you showed him your drawing. No, this type of shock was suffocating. He wanted to break this shock, or wake up from it. Because what you said just couldn’t be real! It couldn’t be…

But it was.

“What?” Seungcheol croaked. You had pulled away from his frigid embrace, and you stared into his eyes. They were blown out with fear. It seemed as if he had not even considered denial. No, he knew that it was real. That’s why he looked so damn broken. Like a little kid.

And, selfishly, Seungcheol thought, of course. Of course you’re going to die.

Because the people who cared for him never stayed. He should have known—he should have fucking known!

But then, he felt utterly disgusted with himself. How dare he try to spin your fate into a problem of his own? The urge to vomit intensified.

“I have an inoperable brain tumor.” You confessed, your voice raw and broken. 

Seungcheol began to cry, even more than you did. Because, oh god, he loved you. He loved you. And you had not known each other for long, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t fight the unbreakable feelings he had for you. So, after a little while, he swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath.

“Okay.” He stated plainly.

“What? ‘Okay’?”

“Yeah. Okay. I just have to accept it.”

Your look of confusion only got more intense.

“So, Y/N, what are you doing for Christmas?”

You scoffed. You knew exactly where he was going with that, but you couldn’t help but grin.

“Spending it with you?” You asked. A sad smile played at your lips.

“Spending it with me.” He answered.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Christmas rolled around rather quickly. You had been already planning on getting Seungcheol a present, which was another drawing. However, it was of the both of you that time. It was based off of a selfie you took during the middle of lunch. He was simply reading a book in the picture, the wires of his earbuds connecting the two of you. And, there you were, making a peace sign and smiling boldly. You had perfected the drawing down to every last detail; wanting to impress Seungcheol was something you desired greatly. 

Finally, Seungcheol arrived at your apartment, a wrapped gift in hand. When your eyes met his, which were full of apprehension and anxiety, a smile melted across your face. And you felt it—that intense feeling of affection. One that you had never experienced before. It surged through you, from the bottom of your body up to your throat, taking your breath away. 

“Come in.” You grinned.

He awkwardly stepped in, sliding his shoes off and on a pair of slippers. 

And that’s when you noticed it—his black eye. It was swollen and made you grit your teeth upon first sight. A gasp fell from your lips, and you instinctively reached out for it, grazing your fingers on his skin slightly.

He stood frozen still. 

“What happened?” You croaked. Seungcheol tensed up even more. Then the tears just fell, and they kept coming. Soon, the two of you were on your couch, Seungcheol sobbing into the crook of your neck.

You stroked his hair, silently comforting him. After a while, he finally managed to speak up.

“My f-father...did this to me.”

Your eyes went dark with anger. And soon the rage from the initial shock amplified immensely. But so did the pain in your aching heart.

“Has he done this before?”

Seungcheol shook his head. It dawned on you—Seungcheol knew so much about you, but you couldn’t say the same for him. His life had remained a mystery to you, and you couldn’t help but feel as if his silence was intentional. 

“Why?” You exasperated, your voice going raw. Then, tears cascaded down your face just like Seungcheol.

“He...he thought I was leaving him and my mom behind for Christmas.”

“What did your mom say?”

“Nothing,” Seungcheol began, “she’s dead.”

Oh. Your crying intensified. 

“My dad...is not well. But he refuses to go to the hospital. I think...I think he just doesn’t like Christmas. My mom died around this time a year. I don’t remember her, though.”

You swallowed the next onslaught of sobs. You finally detached yourself from Seungcheol’s grasp, and soon your expression became livid, yet worried.

“You don’t have to tell me more…”

His eyes lightened, even if just for a bit.

“I want to…” He shyly confessed, breaking eye contact. Your silence invited him to continue.

“My mom died giving birth to me. She had preeclampsia, and when she was giving birth, she had to choose whether to save herself or me. She chose me.”

Seungcheol’s eyes watered with tears again.

“It’s all my fault, Y/N,” He cried, “he hates me so much. Everyone does.”

Anger had overtaken you. How could he not see? He was such an amazing person! You couldn’t hold in the words anymore, you just had to tell him.

“I love you!” You screamed.

Time froze for a second. Almost as if the expression of shock on his face made everything cease to exist.. Seungcheol tensed up and incessantly shook his head.

“No, you don’t. You can’t…”

“Your father...he’s just looking for someone to blame. Just like I am. Just like my parents will and just like you will after I’m gone. But we all need to realize that there is just simply no one to blame!”

“You’re wrong! It’s my fault, it’s all my fucking f—”

“Your father is wrong. He’s wrong because I love you. He’s wrong because you made me look forward to the rest of the time I have left!”

Seungcheol’s tears stopped. He stood eerily still after your impactful worlds, concerningly so.

He finally looked up to you, his brown eyes painfully staring into yours.

“What?” He mustered.

“Seungcheol, I’m dying. I have no time to hate myself or the world around me. I have no time to blame anyone. My life just happened to turn out like this. I’m going to die young...and I’m so fucking scared. But you know what?”

“Y/N, I—”

“You fuckin’ know what, Seungcheol? I’m not dead yet. I’m breathing, I’m thinking, I’m moving, I’m existing! And I don’t want to live the rest of the short amount of time I have left in fear. So I choose to be with you. To live with you.”

A long silence followed.

Then, he took a deep breath, held it in for ten seconds, and let it out. He got out his present for you.

“Open it.” 

Your eyes scanned the disorderly wrapping, which made you scoff lightly. Finally, you started to tear at the paper, anxiety building with each rip.

Then you smiled.

He got you a CD player, along with the disk of “Pablo Honey” by Radiohead. That album had “Ripcord” on it, the song that played the first time you both talked.

“I love it,” You grinned, “thank you.”

Soon, he had opened your present, and he smiled like a complete idiot. And you relished in that fact. 

Later on, after the tension had disappeared from the air, the two of you sat on your couch watching TV. Your phone, which was in the kitchen, had started to ring.

You ran to it as Seungcheol had paused the television. And he couldn’t help but hear your voice and just how it slightly changed when you picked up the phone.

“Hey Mom and Dad, Merry Christmas!” You greeted. Your face fell after a few more seconds, but your false cheery tone didn’t fade away.

“Yeah, I’m doing great right now. I actually have a friend over! His name is Seungcheol.” And then some incoherent rambling was heard on the other line, something he couldn’t quite make out.

“Alright, bye! Talk to you tomorrow. Love you guys!”

You set your phone down on the counter, and Seungcheol couldn’t help but train his eyes onto you.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“It sucks,” You began with a sad smile, “having to pretend to be okay. Doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he defeatedly replied, “it sucks.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A mutual understanding was developed between you two. One that acknowledged both of your feelings and situations.

You both loved each other. But neither of you knew exactly what to do with that fact.

Finally, winter started to end. The New Year came and went, and you went home to Seoul, celebrating it with your parents. During his time alone with his father, Seungcheol finally took him to the doctors. He had been prescribed many different medications, ones that Seungcheol had to monitor.

One March evening, where the breeze was lovely and not too cold, Seungcheol walked through the streets of Daegu. And he was just thinking. 

With his hands in his pockets, his mind uncontrollably wandered to you. Your smile, your laugh, and your inevitable fate. A suffocating ache soon took a hold of his heart, encasing it mercilessly. How much time did he have until you left him?

When would he be alone again?

When would the days continue to be meaningless endeavors, that dragged on purposelessly?

When would his world come crashing down?

Just when he was about to fall apart, to overflow, your voice was heard among the night.

“Cheol?” You called out. He didn’t realize he was walking past your apartment complex until then. Coincidentally, you had been taking out the trash. He took long strides to you, his gaze intense.

“I’m so scared.” The sincerity in his voice and the look in his eyes said everything you needed to know.

“Me too.” You morosely grin, a faraway look in your eyes.

“I wanna be with you.”

“I wanna be with you, too.” The intensity in your eyes matched Seungcheol’s. 

“We should stop wasting our time, right?” You sheepishly question. He nods solemnly. A few moments of silence pass.

“This means you’re my girlfriend now, right?” He asks. You cannot contain the initial reaction to giggle.

“Yes, that’s what it means.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You start getting visibly worse around the beginning of April. You missed school a lot, due to painful migraines and overall weakness. Seungcheol, at first, pretended not to notice. But it got to a point where beating around the bush got neither of you anywhere.

He started to miss school too. Just so he could spend the day by your side, listening to Radiohead and fooling around.

Although you were physically deteriorating, the spark of confidence in your eyes never disappeared. It didn’t even flicker with doubt. You were a fighter, that’s for sure.

“Y/N,” Seungcheol began on a day the both of you skipped school, “I have a question.”

You, who was snuggled up against him underneath a blanket, watching reruns of “The Office”, adjusted your body a bit.

“Shoot.”

“How are you so confident?”

A helpless smile spread across your lips. 

“I’m not, I just want others to think I am.” You confessed

“Oh.” Seungcheol muttered. And then it hit him—wow—you were damn good at pretending. 

“Cheol, you think everyone else except you has their shit together, don’t you?”

He nodded.

“Well, they don’t. Nobody knows what the hell they’re doing, alright? We’re all pretending that we do, though. So that no one will ever know the truth.”

His eyes, which only seemingly got deeper and easier to lose yourself in by the second, bored into yours.

“You’re so cool, Y/N.”

You lean in and give him a brief kiss, smiling into it.

“I know.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Who’s that one girl you’re always hanging out with?” Seungcheol’s father interrogated. He was making dinner for himself, his dad sitting on the couch flipping through television channels.

Oh, Seungcheol thought, he noticed?

“My girlfriend.” He responded, not finding any use in lying. 

His father turned the TV off.

“What?”

“She’s my girlfriend, Dad.”

“You sure she’s not using you? You know, you’re not exactly the most lovable—”

“Dad?” Seungcheol interrupted.

“Yes?” He responded, his tone gruff and short.

“Do you still feel the need to blame me?” Seungcheol blurted, his eyes squeezed shut out of fear. He felt like bile was going to pour out of his mouth in an instant. Anxiety surrounded him like he was the eye of a hurricane.

“What did you say?” 

Despite feeling nothing but pure, unfiltered fear, Seungcheol persisted.

“Do you still need to blame me? For what happened to Mom? It’s been seventeen years, Dad. It’s no one’s fault—”

“You shut your mouth—”

“Please, Dad. She’s dead! She’s not gonna come back…”

Seungcheol soon found himself crying, images of you prominent in his head.

“She’s not gonna come back.” He repeated, that time to himself. 

His eyes flitted toward the digital clock under the TV. It read 10:38 PM, on a Thursday night during early May. Your time together was running out.

 “And there’s no one to blame, even if I want there to be someone, there just isn’t. I’m...I’m gonna miss her so much.”

“What?”

Seungcheol shook himself out of it, refocusing his attention back onto his father. 

“Do you think Mom wanted you to treat me like this? Is this what she died for?”

He doesn’t give his dad the time to answer, for Seungcheol grabbed his keys and phone, and stormed out of the apartment.

He wanted to see you, so badly.

He dialed your number into his phone, the lovely breeze of the May evening kissing his skin. But there’s no answer.

So he called again. And again.

Soon, he was running to where your apartment complex was, his lungs burning. And the anxiety he felt was quite prominent, achingly so. No. He wanted to see you.

He needed to see you.

Seungcheol finally arrived at the apartment complex, and he used the keys you gave him to get in. He tried to wait for an elevator to come and get him, but he deemed it as “too slow” and sprinted up the stairs instead.

Please be okay.

The nervous boy fumbled with the key while trying to unlock your door. Finally, he weaseled his way into your apartment, tears uncontrollably cascading down his cheeks. 

“Y/N!” He screamed. Soon, he was able to hear running water.

You were just taking a shower.

“Cheol?”

“Yeah, it’s me…” He panted, hunched over. You quickly got dressed and ran out.

“Are you okay?” You worriedly asked when your eyes met his.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine. Just got a bit worried, that’s all.” He scratched the back of his neck, almost like he was ashamed.

You knew why he was with you. 

Tears started to well up in your eyes, guilt washing over you so much you could drown in it.

“I’m sorry…” You croaked.

“What?” Seungcheol questioned, surprised at your sudden change in demeanor.

“I...I won’t be by your side for much longer. I’m...so sorry!”

You began to wail uncontrollably. Seungcheol just simply held you in his arms, reassuring you every few minutes. But it was to no use—what you said was true. Your body was starting to wilt away.

“Don’t apologize,” he began with a sad glint in his brown eyes, “this is no one’s fault.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

June was in full bloom. The excruciating heat was prominent in the air just about every day. 

One night, you were overcome with fatigue. Plus, the pain in your head wasn’t subsiding, no matter how much Advil you took.

Your vision began to blur. It went in and out of focus, and you weren’t really looking at anything. Your eyelids grew heavier, and soon you just couldn’t keep them open anymore.

You knew what was happening.

For some reason, your mind replayed the first time you spoke to Seungcheol in your head. You could hear “Ripcord” so clearly, almost like it was being played at that exact moment. 

You watched his smile of shyness and uncertainty bloom into one of confidence and authenticity.

Seungcheol was...so nice.

Your arm extended out to the air in front of you, reaching for his face. It felt like he was right there, next to you. 

He wasn’t.

I guess this is it, you thought.

I hope...someone else can take care of Cheol.

The selfie you had taken of the both of you flashed in your mind. You hoped he still had the drawing of it—the one that you made.

“I love you, Cheol…”

His smile replayed in your mind.

“Thank you…”

His warm gaze comforted you.

“I hope...you let yourself be happy, Cheol.”

Your vision turned bright, and soon life left your body like a bird flying away, never to return.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been about four months since you died. Seungcheol graduated high school, and his plan was to study abroad in America.

He didn’t think he was going to return.

Nothing kept him rooted to Korea. In fact, he wanted to leave. His father was a shell of a human, and Seungcheol was afraid he was going to turn out just like him.

He continued to pack everything he needed, his mind elsewhere. But then the picture you drew of him was suddenly in his hands. It brought Seungcheol back to reality.

Like a closet door shut tight, Seungcheol kept everything he felt locked away. But he just broke at the sight of your lovely drawing of him.

He started to sob. His throat grew painfully dry, and his cries turned into silent gasps. 

“Where are you?” He screamed. He longed to see you more than anything else. But you were six feet under, and he was not. He was alive and breathing. Without you.

You’re not going to come back.

He was alone.

Seungcheol was alone.

Why had the world moved on? Your parents went back to work, and your classmates graduated and were going off to college.

Why was everyone else okay except him?

Seungcheol then remembered something you taught him.

Everyone’s just faking it. No one really knows what they’re doing.

He smiled forlornly. 

You loved him, and because of that, he wasn’t alone. If he carried your love with him everywhere he went, he would never truly be alone.

If there was one thing that Seungcheol knew about his life, it was that he knew nothing at all. And, for some reason, that felt okay.

All you wanted for Seungcheol was for him to live a life of happiness. He knew that.

So, that’s exactly what he would do. And, as the years passed by, happiness wasn’t such a foreign concept anymore.

Seungcheol didn’t have to deal with the ache of isolation, for that’s not how life is meant to be lived. 

Your melodic laugh reverberated throughout his mind. He smiled.

Everything would be okay.

[the-river-person]

The Trial: Part 1

Everyone was still with shock. Even Mettaton was staring with his mouth open at the robed skeleton who was still stroking the little white dog on his lap. Whispers had begun to buzz in the parts of the room furthest from the throne and the noise was beginning to increase the longer he ignored them. Finally Sans cleared his throat and the hall fell silent again. “You made it here, pilgrims, but the end of your long journey is not yet at hand. Many paths lie ahead, and together, we will determine the future of this world. That’s then. Now... You will be judged. You will be judged for every action. For the Execution Points and Levels of Violence you have accrued. These are ways of measuring someone’s capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself, the more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.” The dog jumped from his lap and he stood, his eye seemed to flash, almost burning with blue and yellow light, but it was gone faster than one could blink, and most were certain they’d imagined it. “Now, you understand. It is time to begin your judgement. Look inside yourselves. Have you really done the right thing?” He raised his hand and a grinding noise came from the floor, and a stone slab slid aside to allow a small pedestal to rise up. “Human, please step forward. It is time.” Quietly they stood and approached, but they were frowning. “I am not the human. I am not Frisk, nor Chara.” Both Toriel and Asgore looked stricken and even Flowey choked a little, but Sans was not moved. “You’ve said that twice before. Tell me your tale, so I can understand.” And they did. Recounting all from the moment they fell into the Underground. From the quiet voice that whispered in their ear, telling them translations of Monster writing and guiding their way, to the moment where they met the King and knew that his heart was breaking at the sight of them. Then, to everyone’s surprise, they continued. Turning back in time to an earlier point. Undyne and Alphys blushed furiously as the story of an unsigned letter and a garbage dump date was recounted, though Alphys turned pale when it turned into the revelation of her greatest mistake and the existence of the true  lab. Toriel reached out to reassure her with a pat on the shoulder, but she too looked worried. Flowey sat with a bored expression, even during the parts where his interference was told. The only time he had showed any interest at all in the proceedings was when he’d stolen the human souls and become an abomination. When the part where he’d regained his true form was told he looked away, angry, or perhaps sad, or maybe nothing at all. Asgore once again showed shock and pain, but Toriel was surprisingly accepting of it, though none of them said anything. “So Frisk saved everyone who could be saved in the end. The barrier was shattered and all went free. And yet... the thing they fled from in the first place, the reason they climbed a mountain nobody returned from, still remained.” Sans leaned forward, he’d once again seated himself on the throne, listening intently to every word. To every death and reset, to each and every detail. “And what was that?” he asked. The Human considered him, “Abuse. Loneliness. Hate. They didn’t have the nicest of families. A controlling yet cowardly Father, a vindictive mother who drank away sorrows of her own. That would have been enough to make life hell. But there are always more. Teachers who only seek the position so they can bully and torment the students. Not really caring about teaching anyone unless its the ones they like or get along with. Children who see someone different, someone who can’t find a way to make friends because its been beaten out of them, and they kick them while they’re down. Those were the things that drove them to Mt. Ebbot. And when they returned, many of those things were still there. And there was nothing their new friends could do to stop demanding parents from taking their child back. So they Reset.” The skeleton considered this. “They Reset. And when they’d gone through it all again they found that time on the outside still moved on, everyone remembered them and how they’d all vanished. So they tried again. Each run spending less and less time on the surface, and more time in the Underground.” When the human nodded, Sans sighed. “I’ve heard enough. You may sit.” And they returned to the bench. Once again Sans stood, staring out at the sea of faces, and noting how many looked anguished. “If I call your name, stand and stay in place. Monster Kid, Gerson, Even, Seamus, Grillyby, Lapina and Cinnamon, Elder Puzzler, Onionsan, Papyrus...” The list went on. Most were present, though some couldn’t physically come and were watching from special television broadcasts. Eventually the names ended, and many were standing, though it was barely half of who was there. “These are the Monsters who met the human, and never killed them. Not once. By circumstance, by necessity, by frailty, by ancient law, and even...” he glanced at Papyrus. “By a refusal to be swayed from their ideals. But so many others have killed. By accident or design, they have killed even before the human began to kill. Murdering them even when they offered only kindness and mercy. If it were not for the power of Determination, the power to Reset, then the human would be long dead. Along with six other human children at our hands. The price we chose in exchange for our chance at freedom. Look where it got us, I don’t feel very free... do you?” No one answered, no one could. His cold gaze swept across them and not even Flowey could meet his eyes for very long. Only the human sat, unblinking and unmoved until Sans moved on from them.

[anachronisticcrab]

I know that my posts don’t usually get seen when they aren’t about Nico di Angelo or Percy Jackson in general, but I feel like this needs to be addressed. School is shitty in places outside the US

I live in Canada. I don’t have to worry about getting shot if I go to school, but it’s still shitty at my school (especially at my old school)

Quick tw for this entire thing. It deals with eating disorders, mental abuse, physical abuse, psychotic episodes, teachers not caring, mental illness, trauma, and suicide. Please tread carefully before you continue

I’ve been going to Catholic schools since I was 3. I went to a catholic elementary school in Ontario for about 10 years before going to my current Catholic high school

At my elementary school, when I was in fourth grade, one of the girls in my class was struggling with her mental health. Her dad had died a few years before then (by the way, our school NEVER gave her a safe space to discuss what was going on in her life) and she had been through some other shit

Now, in fourth grade, I didn’t know anyone in my class except for her (there were around 70 kids in my grade, I didn’t know a lot of people). So we hung out that year. Some days, she was in a great headspace and was happy and we got along great. She was funny, smart, nice, easy to talk to, and she was probably the first friend I had that I had anything in common with

But as I mentioned, she was seriously struggling. About once a week (at the minimum), she would have what I am going to refer to as an ‘episode’ because I really don’t know any other way to put it. She would scream, throw things, chase people around the class with scissors, and just overall torment me and my classmates. It got so bad that the entire class had to be brought into the hall for our own safety on more than one occasion

Our of everyone in the class, she harassed me the most. I’m not entirely sure why, but I’m guessing it had something to do with her own self-sabatoge since I was pretty much the only person there for her that entire year

One time she tried to cut my throat. Another time she threw a textbook at my head. She followed me around for almost six hours straight, calling me names and harassing me.

None of this was a secret from our teachers. They all knew about this. Our principals knew about this. Half the school knew about this. But none of the adults, who were responsible for keeping us safe, did anything.

They let it slide. They sent her to the office (the principals did nothing). They brought us out of the class, but didn’t ever do anything to help her to stop her episodes or to help her with any of her issues. In fact, just so they could all avoid doing their jobs, they hired college students to come in and talk to me and her at recess a couple days a week. I feel so bad for those girls since they were busy with school and exams, but they had to help out two extremely traumatized and extremely fucked up kids

One time this girl tried to kill me. And I mean this seriously— she came at me and tried to cut my throat with a pair of scissors. There were three eye witnesses (outside of myself and the girl). There was footage of it on the security cameras. And the girl started chasing people with scissors after I ran away from her. Our principals did nothing. Our teacher did nothing.

I asked my parents and teacher and principals to move me to the other class because I couldn’t be around that girl. She tormented me, and I was terrified to go to school because I didn’t know if it was going to be a good day or if she was going to attack me and scream at me. I was terrified of the building, and that year led to a lot of the issues with school and mental illness that I have to deal with now. They didn’t move me. They switched desks and put mine right next to hers. Like, the fuck was wrong with those asshats?

Also, me and this girl were walking around the halls during indoor recess one time and heard our teacher shit talking me, her, and this one other kid we were sort-of friends with. He called her psychotic, called me ‘at fault for (the girls) episodes and aiding (the girls) delusions’ and made fun of our other friend for having a high pitched voice. Like, we were nine? I wasn’t responsible for this girl trying to kill me and having episodes all the time. She wasn’t psychotic, she just had some issues she needed to work out, and she needed help with it from adults. And our friend was allowed to have a high pitched voice, he was nine! Don’t make fun of nine year olds who are clearly dealing with some shit!

We told the principal what happened, and the mother fucking teacher got a raise. We asked the principal why, and he said ‘well, he’s retiring this year, and it’s not fair that he has to deal with all of this’. It’s not fair that I had to deal with that, either! Let the crusty old dude get into shit for making fun of nine year olds!

At the end of the year, my teacher had the AUDACITY to send an email to my mom, to thank me for ‘sticking by that girl even when it was difficult, and for supporting her’. Like, bitch, you mean doing your job and putting my nine year old self at risk? Shut the fuck up and help your students when they’re going through shit!

Now, if you’re wondering why I hung out with this girl, there’s a couple reasons.

My teachers, principles, and parents told me that she needed me around, and that she’d been through shit. They told me that she really did care about me, and she needed a friend. That her dad had died so she was allowed to abuse me. More or less, all the adults in my life said that she was struggling, and that her happiness was more important than my safety

As I said before, when she was having a good day, I loved hanging out with her and talking to her. She was really nice, and the first semi-real friend I ever had

I got an eating disorder that year, that still affects my life 6 years later. I got anxiety and depression from that year (there are other causes of it, but it is a big part of the reason). I now have a crippling fear of school and other people, as well as extreme trust issues. I have serious self worth issues and let people push me around because that year I was taught that I could be beaten and bruised and murdered if it made other people happy. I have suicidal ideation and cut myself because of the trauma I endured that year.

The school system did nothing to help. They let that girl fester in her issues and take them out on others, permanently traumatizing and scarring me in the process

And I started talking to that girl again about three years ago, after she’d chilled out and I wasn’t terrified of her anymore. She told me she would have killed herself if it weren’t for me. That her mom was still mourning, the rest of her family hated her, that our teachers didn’t care, and that I was the only one actually there for her. I don’t regret being there for her at that time. She’s one of my best friends and I would hate if she had killed herself

But it’s shitty that the only person supporting her at the time was me. If she had have gone through with it, it would’ve been my fault. I was the only thing keeping her from dying. And that terrifies me. I can’t even be trusted to keep myself from dying at this point.

This is just one of many, many, many stories I have about how fucked up schools are, and not just in the US. I don’t have to worry about getting shot, but my old school is still fucked up, and my current school is a little fucked as well. Let me know if you want to hear any more stories from my experience at Catholic school, or with this girl, or whatever.

[lilytakeharryandgo]

STOP ROMANTICISING SEVERUS SNAPE - A MANIFESTO

“Albus Severus Potter, you were named after two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a great strategist, the other one was a racist, hateful, bitter, scary bastard. Voldemort must have damaged some brain cells when killing the Horcrux inside of me.”

Now that I have Snape fans raging and screaming for blood, here’s my show of evidence:

If the boring, same argument brought up by Marauders stans is Snape being a Death Eater, I know it’s basic, but it’s basic for a reason: it’s true. Supporting Voldemort doesn’t mean you support his ideas? I’m sorry, what did he support? The Dark Lord’s contouring skills? It is a truth universally acknowledged that joining a group of racists and following them in perpetrating crimes does make you a racist and a criminal.

JK Rowling herself said that Death Eaters are an analogy to Nazis, Marauders stans are not making this up. Are you questioning what JK ROWLING said? Because you know, she is JK ROWLING.

We know it was Snivellus that created the Levicorpus. He must have used it against the Marauders in order for them to learn it. And let’s just remember that “Snape’s worst memory” takes place after the Shrieking Shack’s incident, when dear, lovely Severus tried to unmask Remus so that he could be expelled for being a Werewolf. He went down to the Whomping Willow of his own free will, no one forced him, and he supposedly knew what was happening there: he risked his own life only to get Remus expelled. Yes, it was Sirius who thought it would have been funny to lure him to the Shrieking Shack where Lupin was due for his transformation, and that was wrong. However, why did he do that? Because Snape was constantly spying on them. Was it wrong? Definitely, no one is trying to get Sirius out of this one. Still, James saved Snape in time. Did James do that just because he wanted to protect Remus? Most likely: James gave them all a family and he loved his friends and would have done everything for them, and he did. But also, he wouldn’t have let an “innocent” (if we want to call him that) die. So James saved Snape’s life, which dear Half Blood Price seemed deeply ungrateful for later, and yet, Snape constantly tried to get the Marauders expelled from Hogwarts time and time again while using Dark Magic and creating his own dark spells (see the irony?). Stop saying that the Marauders’ actions pushed him to become a Death Eater. As if “Snape never missed an opportunity to curse James” was a lie. As if Snape wasn’t on his way to being a buddying Death Eater by his 5th year. As if Snape hadn’t came up with a curse that slices your body open by his 6th year. As if the Marauders had nothing to do but ruthlessly bully Snape all day and all night, when they actually are described as the brightest as some of the brightest students of their year despite being engaged in loads of other things like the creation of the Marauders Map, becoming Animagus, dealing with Remus’ monthly transformations (because those demonic guys didn’t leave him alone and didn’t report him to get him expelled as someone else was willing to do), James and Remus being responsible enough to be Head Boy and Prefect. Oh, and training for a war and joining the Order once they graduated. Minor things, right? Things they were busy doing in their personal lives such as surviving, living and being happy? Nah, that never happened, their entire life consisted of bullying innocent, poor service teenagers, that was their goal. Snape experienced one side of the Marauders (and we read that from his own pov, so it’s a little biased too): that is not a deciding factor of whether or not they (and especially James) are good people. He was so fascinated with the Dark Arts, even after Lily’s death and hence his presumed redemption, that Dumbledore did not appoint him as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. Snape’s apologetics make it sound like the Marauders made Snape’s life hell every minute of everyday and he was the poor victim who was not capable of standing up to himself against those horrible demonic creatures, but he was the one inventing the Sectumsempra and using it against James, against George. Only a truly tormented person could have invented such a bloody spell. 

So now let’s talk about Remus. Remus, a hero who fought against Voldemort and joined an anti-terrorist resistance organisation when he was just 18 years old, who fought alongside Frank and Alice Longbottom in the Order, is about to start his first class with the third years. Neville is there, of course, Remus knows his parents’ fate, how they were tortured into madness, and probably guessed that Neville’s biggest fear would be similar to what he guessed Harry’s would be. He’s probably planning on stepping in before Bellatrix Lestrange shows up, but then it’s not her, it’s Snape. Snape who insults him in front of his class, Snape who tries to shame him. Can you imagine how he must have felt? Yes, they bullied him, but his best friend James grew up, and what did he get in return? Death. Instead, Snape hasn’t gotten over himself a little and most importantly he does not realise that being a teacher also means being responsible for those children. Snape never changes: he is the same petty, angry, bitter child that he had been in school, except now he’s bullying children half his age instead of yelling racial slurs at his classmates. While Snape is one of his students’ greatest fear, Remus starts off the year by letting his pupils confront their biggest fears. Remus truly, deeply cared about his students, and wait… what did Snape do? He got him fired! But even most achingly than that, just imagine… it’s 1993, Remus is coming back after a rough full moon. He’s feeling down, he’s weak, both physically and emotionally, he’s one more time without his friends by his side, one more time alone as he was before the Marauders became Animaguses to be alongside him to support him during the roughest times (horrible people, isn’t it?). So Remus is coming back to his class of Defense Against the Dark Arts, and his best friend’s son is writing an essay on how to kill him. But Snape didn’t stop there, no, he told the whole Wizarding World that a man who had struggled to keep his condition secret all his life was a Werewolf. He had to withdraw from his position as a professor because of that, and straight after that the Ministry issued a law against Werewolves which made it impossible for Remus to have a job. So, to sum it up, not only he exposed him as a Werewolf, he also condemned him to live in poverty and be persecuted for that reason. Also, quoting, when Remus was trying to explain things in PoA he attacked him and said “I’ll drag the Werewolf, perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him too.” James and Sirius were the kind of persons, the kind of friends and brothers, who risked their own life every month for one of his best friends. Think about this: they found out about Remus’ situation when they were just boys in their first years of school, and they didn’t leave him, they decided to help him embarking in something much bigger than themselves. Whereas dear lovely 33 year old Necrophilus told everyone about Remus’ secret and basically had him fired. Sounds angelic, why haven’t I thought about doing something like that before? That would most certainly secure me a spot in heaven!

Do we want to talk about an abusive person? Well, Snape was not just abusive as a person, he abused and took advantage of his position as a teacher (and Head of House too, to reward extra points from the other Houses) to bully his own students (even after his presumed “redemption”). He told Neville he would have given his failed potion to his toad, Trevor, so that the fatal effects of the potion would teach him a lesson. He bullied Neville to the point that he was literally his greatest fear - Neville’s parents were tortured to the point of insanity by Bellatrix, yet Snape was his greatest fear. He also condoned and took part in bullying when Draco cursed Hermione’s teeth to grow. He said he didn’t see any difference, then watched as she ran off crying. From the very start he starts bullying Harry: he perfectly knew he was raised by muggles, he knew how Petunia was and still went on to ask questions that he wouldn’t be able to answer. And after calling Neville and idiot for a mistake that anyone could have made he took points from Gryffindor because Harry didn’t tell him how to do it right - great teaching strategy, let’s nominate him for Most Valuable Teacher. Harry had nothing to do with what went on during Snape’s school years, but he physically resembled James and he was his son, so let’s bully him from the very first second! And honestly, asking an 11 years old Muggle-raised kid the difference between monskshood and wolfsbane in front of everyone on the first day? There is no difference! They are colloquial terms for the same plant. He just wanted the intellectual upper hand over a goddamn little kid. But he didn’t stop there: that resentful git always tried to blame Harry for something even without proof (as most of the time), and he physically abused Harry because he was angry (“Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard onto the dungeon floor.”). He knew how important it was for Harry to learn Occlumency and he stopped giving him classes and later ignored when Lupin asked him to start them again even when he knew how poorly Harry’s progressed. And he was cruel: he knew Harry was sad about Sirius’ death, and gave him a detention in which he was going to see his and his father’s names multiple times while copying out old detention records. Yes, Harry’s deeds should have called for expulsion, as McGonagall states, but Snape chose something more painful than that. Not only he punished Harry (don’t get me wrong, he almost killed Draco, he deserved detention if not expulsion), but he chose to inflict him more pain and at the same time tried to ruin the memory of Harry’s father figures. Ordinarily, copying out old detention records wouldn’t be worse than writing lines, but Snape vindictively tailored that detention to inflict pain.  In addition to this, he could have been an awesome teacher if he wasn’t a disgusting waste of a human being. He knew from his teen years that the instructions that the textbooks were giving were not as goos as they could be so he improved the potions and recorded his own methods at 16. Harry himself states what an amazing teacher “the Prince” is. If Snape were not such a horrible person, he could have either written the entire textbooks himself, or taught his students his own alternate methods. Instead he spent his time bullying children. He could have been great and become everything a Slytherin should have been

Snape also saw his friends perform Dark Magic on Mary Macdonald and when confronted by Lily, literally didn’t see any problem with it and compared it with the Marauders’ pranks.

He called Lily, his supposed best friend, a Mudblood. Then he tried to get away with it by saying he didn’t mean it and that she (and only she) was different from the other Muggleborns. And Lily tried, she tried to tell him he was not on the right path, she tried, and she got called a racial slur from the person she trusted the most at the time. And, for the extremist Snape apologetics in the back, who even hate Lily (how can they hate on Lily I don’t know, but apparently these people exist too): Lily Evans did not owe anyone anything. She had the right to cut ties with her friends for any reason she pleased, whatever that’s because she was sick of them or because they were hanging out with a group of terrorists wannabe. She did not owe anyone her love, loyalty or energy. She tried to be Snape’s friend despite his other group of friends (“but Mulciber’s and Avery’s idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don’t understand how you can be friends with them”), but there’s canon evidence that Snape chose his Death Eaters friends over Lily’s friendship and safety. It was her choice to cut ties with him after what he and his friends had done (and the racial slur of course, truly a touch of class), and it’s not like he was a good friend to begin with: he called all other Muggleborns “Mudblood” and was canon friends with the people who wanted Lily and other Muggleborns killed, and he even still wanted to be a Death Eater while being her friend. Like, wait here while I go out and slaughter your people, Lils! And if Snape stans are still arguing that he was suffering because he got dumped, that’s another no: he did not get dumped, she just didn’t have romantic feelings for him but was trying so hard to be his friend and he was just a whiny baby about it. Is that a crime? No, it isn’t. Is not getting over it and taking it out on countless kids who weren’t even born instead a crime? Yes, it is.

Also, from the get-go we see him drop a tree branch on Petunia. That shows that he didn’t see a problem in hurting the people Lily loved (seen later in a larger proportion, that’s his tag line). Lily loved her sister, but Petunia was an obstacle between her and Snape, hence, Snape hurt her. And no, that was not accidental underage magic, just as Lily performs magic on the flower, Snape uses magic to cause a tree branch to fall on Petunia. Even as a child he had no qualms about hurting someone Lily loved, this really serves to underscore the idea that Snape, with his so called love for Lily, was not invested in her happiness or wellbeing because he didn’t care about the people she loved. As a child he didn’t care about hurting her sister and at 20 he didn’t care about the imminent deaths of her husband and son. If he truly loved and cared for her, he would have wanted to see her happy. Not even considering how crushed she would have been if her husband and only child were dead, and she was left alone and pregnant in the middle of a war.

Okay so now let’s talk about James. Yes, James was a spoiled brat, and Lily hated him for that, then guess what? He matured, he started protecting the weaker ones and joined the Order along with Sirius, Remus and Lily to fight for a better world. He didn’t hold it against her nor did he sulk for days, he grew up and matured because he was a well adjusted human, unlike some. James Potter was many things other than an “arrogant bullying toerag” (hey, also, well done for trying to destroy a 15-year-old orphan’s memory of his heroic father): he was a friend who risked his life every month for Remus’s safety and comfort. A brother who took Sirius in and was “the best friend he ever had.” An adored friend of half-giant Hagrid, in an age when all “half-breeds” were looked upon with suspicion during the war. An all time “favourite student” of Minerva McGonagall, so much that she waited all day at his son’s future home and wept at his death. A savior of his enemies even when they were trying to expose his friends’ secrets. An activist protecting the right of existence for Muggles, Muggleborns and hybrids right out of school. A soldier who faced Voldemort three times and lived to tell about it. A caring father who went into hiding to protect his son. A loving husband who sacrificed his life for his family. A faded trace of magic still trying to guide his son when the man that killed him returned to life. A young man that inspired so much loyalty in his friends that Remus Lupin, who so feared the idea of harming people because of his condition, was 100% willing to abandon those morals to avenge his death, and would have done so, had Harry not reminded him and Sirius that James would not have wanted them to murder anyone for him. A Patronus helping Harry through his darkest moments until the very end.  James had a friend facing bigotry and he became an illegal animagus to help make that friend’s life better. Snape had a friend facing bigotry and he joined up with the bigots. No one is trying to pretend that James was an angel, but he got better and better until his last breath. And again, that spoiled brat and the love of his life joined the resistance and were martyrs. James, Lily, Sirius and Remus all died for Harry. Are you trying to blame James and Lily for sacrificing their own lives to save their infant son? What terrible parents they were! Their sacrifice was an act of love and wait… actually ended up saving the Wizarding World. The only thing James and Snape had in common was that they would have both sacrificed James’s life in order to save Lily’s. James was the hero, he was the one who faced Voldemort without his wand (pretty dumb thing but he was a Gryffindor, hence no surprise) in order to give his wife and son more time to flee. When he opened that door on Halloween, he thought he was sacrificing his life so that they could live. He literally died wandless perfectly knowing he wouldn’t survive, but facing death for those he loved, hoping he would be able to stall enough time so they could escape. He was never more dedicated in anything in his short life than he was to the loves of his life: he died for Lily and Harry, and would have happily died for Sirius, Remus and Peter. And this is absolutely canon, of course it is: we might not have some explicit description of him but all we know comes from the lives he touched, how they talked / not talked about him, the pain they felt - the seven books are a testament of James and Lily’s love. James Potter was the kind of person that would have been happy to die for love, he would have taken pride in that. How do we know that? Are we making this up? No, we are not: all we have are the words of people who knew him, from his best friends to McGonagall, and who remembered him as a hero. This, albeit indirectly, speaks volume about the kind of person he was. He might have been obnoxious and arrogant as a teenager, but at 21 he died a hero - wandless, alone, betrayed, hopeless, but also bravely and out of love - and nothing can change either of those. Yes, he bullied Snape (let’s be clear here even though I highly doubt Snape did not retaliate) and that is a disgusting attitude. But how can you forgive a 31 year old man for bullying his kids and not a 15 year old boy who bullied one of his definitely not innocent classmates? Who matured and who later died, at the young age of 21, for his wife and son? How can you hate James Potter when as soon as he graduated, he was ready to fight a war against the most powerful wizard of his age? Yes, he had a big head and I am fairly certain he did actually strut - and let’s just take a moment to remember why Harry doesn’t know anything about him… oh, right, Snape went to Voldemort and told him about the prophecy - but he was a caring person, who stood up to what he thought and stood up for his friends and his family. The spoilt boy Snape’s apologetics hate, who grew up to be a great man, who died fighting and protecting, not some emo with a crush and an ego the size of the Great Lake!  Wait, I hear somebody trying to bring up the “we have no real evidence of him becoming a better person” thing. Let me get this straight: James was mentioned to have jinxed other students, not to have bullied them. He did not pick out targets, it was implied to be done at random as it is explicitly stated that he jinxed random people in the corridors. Fred and George pranked other students in the same way, and they would have often have more disastrous effects, but no one calls them bullies. We know that on one known occasion attacks Snape with Sirius at his side and almost pantsed him with a spell of Snape’s own invention. James and Snape had a rivalry, and it was two-sided. It wasn’t James relentlessly hexing poor, innocent Snape, so if you still want to call James Potter a bully, okay, do it, he was a bully bullying a bully. The evidence speaks for itself: he was Head Boy in 7th year (hence I don’t think Dumbledore despised him that much), he was unapologetically a blood traitor, he dated Lily Evans (who hated him for how he was and would have never fallen in love with such a brat, so it’s pretty evident he did actually change), he joined the Order of the Phoenix (an anti-terrorist organisation, at the peak of the war, as a teenager, whereas someone else joins a racist dark cult), he died protecting his wife and child! And if we really, really want to bring the ‘evidence’ thing up… well, we have no evidence he bullied Snape, except for one little incident - I’m fairly certain he did, but let’s play it literally now. And since we are there, we may not have been blessed with more about the Marauders, but Sirius and Remus both tell Harry Lily changed his mind about James because he became a better person, why don’t Snape stans consider that an evidence pro James but “Snape’s worst memory” is their pro Snape pamphlet? That chapter showed us an incident where both Sirius and James were assholes but everyone that was there supported it but Lily. All the other Students supported it because of what the fandom conveniently forgets that Snape loved Dark Arts, disparagingly called Lily a Muggle twice, tried to expose Remus and run around with a group of Death Eater wannabes tormenting Muggleborns all through his school years (he literally says that torturing Mary Macdonald was funny - “That was nothing, it was a laugh, that’s all”), to the point where Lily’s friends and herself questioned their friendship: “none of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. I’ve made excuses for you for years.” And eventually, when questioned by Lily if he wanted to join Voldemort, he couldn’t find any way to lie to her: “you and your precious little Death Eater friends— you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You Know Who can you?”. He literally didn’t find anything wrong with Voldemort’s political position (only the fact that he wanted to kill his obsession, he only had that so called change of heart when it personally affected him as his beloved Dark Lord wanted to kill the object of his lust). So yes, he did join the Death Eaters because he wanted to and was everything he’d always desired. Does this make him a bad person? HELL YES.  

And wait, can somebody remind me why the Potters were forced to hide? Wow, it must have been because Snivellus dearest spilled the tea to his master. So basically it went like this: “Hey Dark Lord! Our adorable group of racists kills Mudbloods for fun, but there’s this filthy Muggle born I fancy, can you please kill her husband and baby so that I can have her?” How the hell could he think Lily could have ever forgiven him? He was totally fine with Dumbledore saving Lily but not her husband and infant son (see how deeply he cared about Lily’s happiness?) and only cared for him being the rebound. James and Harry were totally expendable but hey, bravest man ever known!  

So yes, he protected Harry (in his very own and questionable way, he did), but I’m sorry, that’s not enough. However, before someone says “in the end he cared about Harry” let me say a big, important fact: NAH HE DIDN’T. And not only he didn’t, but he also openly states that: in the Deathly Hallows chapter with the Pensieve, Snape describes Harry as selfish, self-important and arrogant - does it matter than all the other teachers like him and see none of those things? Of course not. And he’s not talking about sassy 4th-6th year Harry (who I really thank for that “there's no need to call me "sir" Professor” gem): Snape is tasing about an 11 year old who was picked on his whole life, who never had a family of his own and who lived in a cupboard under the stairs. He’s a child, an orphan (now tell me what’s that heroic about tormenting an orphan). However, Snape had decided that Harry must be bad news from the start, so he reasonably spends six years making his life as difficult as possible. That’s a great way to honour Lily’s memory, right? Do Snape stans remember what their hero answered when Dumbledore asked if he had grown to care for the boy, after all? He literally shouted “for him?” before casting a Patronus (a little over obsessive too). He felt he owed it to Lily to make sure Harry survives, and for Merlin’s sake, he did! He went to Voldemort and basically condemned the Potters. I’m not saying he is THE reason why they died, that honour goes to the lurid latrine rat, but he is one of them. Protecting Harry was the least he could do. Switching allegiances doesn’t cancel the awful actions before Lily’s death, as much as taking advantage of his position can’t be justified by his loyalty to Dumbledore. And most importantly, he cannot be redeemed by his stalkerish obsession for Lily (or by the creepy ‘look at me I want to die looking into your mother’s eyes,’ ew). All he did was made out of selfishness, even in his quest to redeem himself. Snape had a chance to honour Lily's memory, and disregarded it every single day. He claimed to regret his past, yet his cruelty to Harry was persistent and immature. Plus, loving someone doesn’t redeem terrible deeds. He aligned himself with a terrorist organisation who murdered for sport entirely of his own volition, endorsed the torture of Muggleborns, but of course, what a hero! I will never understand how people continue to use Snape’s obsession with Lily and ‘protecting’ Harry thing as an excuse for all the pain and terror that he inflicted upon small children. Does that mean you’ll excuse a father who continuously hit and emotionally abused his child and made their life a living hell if his excuse was “well I was still protecting them they had their dead mother’s eyes”? This is SICK.

And if you can still argue that “he had a terrible childhood,” that is inarguable, however, it just cannot justify him. Remus was bitten when he was 4, he had no friends until he was 11, lived in constant fear that he was going to be outed as a Werewolf, was forced to turn into a monster every month, lost everyone he loved and lived in poverty for 14 years and still managed to be a decent person. Luna watched her mother die, was picked on by almost everyone, was treated as a freak and only had one friend until she was 14 and still managed to be a decent person. Ginny was literally possessed by Voldemort himself for almost a year, guess what? Decent person too. Neville was constantly told how worthless he was, lived knowing his parents were tortured to insanity and was bullied and belittled by everyone. Decent person? Yes, right again. And do we want to talk about THE lonely kid who was abused his entire life? Sirius was raised and abused by blood supremacists, was disowned by his family, framed for murder (of his best friends, for Merlin’s sake!) and literally lost almost everyone he loved and still managed to be a decent person. He couldn't help the way he was? The environment around him conditioned him to be that way? If I remember correctly, Harry was raised by neglectful relatives, wore ill-fitting clothes, felt inadequate among his peers… Harry is proof that a terrible childhood doesn’t excuse despicable behaviour.

So, Snape hated Neville because he could have been the Chosen One instead of Harry (but it’s definitely on him for going to Voldemort and condemning the Potters), he hated Harry because he was James’s copy and he hated Hermione because she was a Mudblood and brilliant as Lily was. Makes sense, again, and again, it stresses how much of a beautiful person and teacher he was, don’t you think so? Also, had Voldemort picked Neville to kill instead of Harry, Snape would still be a Death Eater. It’s not like he thought being part of a group of supremacists and terrorists was wrong. It wasn’t until something directly affected him that he turned his back to his master - so brave, right? Snape may have done some good for the Wizarding World when he joined the Order, but while he was alive, he was horrible. He wasn't fighting the good fight because he couldn't possibly imagine a world where Voldemort was in charge (honestly, he couldn't have cared less), he was doing it to spare Lily’s life and get her for himself. James and Lily fought for the light because they believed in the light. Snape fought against the dark because the dark had offended him. Had Voldemort gone after the Longbottoms instead, Snape would have lived and died as the most loyal Death Eater in history.

Wait, I hear a “there’s no evidence that Snape voluntarily murdered anyone in his entire life” over there! He joined a group whose aim was genocide and was actually one of the few members which were part of the inner circle of Death Eaters, he didn’t get there by throwing kisses and rose petals around. It is explicitly said that not all Death Eaters actually bore the mark. Only selected wizards can be part of Voldemort’s circle, and not only Snape was part of that circle during the First Wizarding War, but it is also heavily implied that he passed messages from Voldemort more than once. Plus, he was also able to speak directly to Voldemort and even ask him to spare Lily’s life. Voldemort actually told Lily to move over three times before killing her, and he didn’t do that because he had such a kind heart and wanted to spare a Muggleborn’s life, he did that because Snape begged him. And maybe we haven’t read the same books, but it’s not like Voldemort strolled along Diagon Alley offering favours to random people. In addition to this, Snape did most certainly kill someone since Dumbledore compares Draco’s soul to his, meaning he has done remorseless acts of great evil before, hence his soul was already damaged, unlike Draco’s. So please, stop saying Snape was somehow influenced into joining the Death Eaters and never committed any crime: he fully believed in what they pledged and actually longed about being one of them for years (according to Lily). No one manipulated him into joining said group nor into perpetrating crimes. And no one manipulated him into being a horrible person even after he “switched sides.” He’s the one who willingly decides to be a terrorist, he’s the one who willingly decides to abuse children half his age, and he’s the one having the nerve to be awful to Harry when he’s the reason why Harry doesn’t have any parents.

And he was so childish and cruel! He threw a tantrum after discovered he was getting an Order of Merlin and wasn’t going to see Remus and Sirius in jail (even though he knew they were innocent).

There we go: HE KNEW SIRIUS WAS INNOCENT (don’t try to deny it, he was part of the inner circle of Death Eaters, he perfectly knew Sirius was not the one selling the Potters to Voldemort)! Did this matter for him? Of course not! And was Snape cruel and abusive to Harry because he blamed himself for Lily’s death and Harry was a constant reminder of his guilt? Yes, he was. But you know who else blamed himself for the Potters’ deaths and also was constantly reminded of them by Harry, and yet, did not abuse him because of his guilt? That’s right, Sirius. Sirius whose death was indirectly caused by Snape who kept making fun of him for being locked in Grimmauld Place. Sirius who had no problems breaking out of Azkaban, all he had to do was turn into a dog and leave. He could have left anytime he wanted to over those twelve years but he didn’t. You know why? Because he thought he deserved to be there. It was his fault his friends were dead. Everyone could blame him all they wanted with false accusations and it didn’t matter, since to him, changing Peter to the Secret Keeper, he was guilty for his friends’ death and deserved to be in Azkaban. He only broke out when he knew Harry was in danger after seeing that filthy rat on the newspaper. And when he broke into Hogwarts? Do people remember those lines: Hermione said “It’s very lucky he picked tonight, you know,” to which Ron responded “I reckon he’s lost track of time, being on the run. Didn’t realise it was Halloween.” Please, of course he realised it was Halloween, he perfectly knew that. He went after Peter on the anniversary of James and Lily’s death to revenge them and to save his godson. Sirius might have strut as much as James during his teens but again, he turned out to be a decent person.

And think about Harry, a 17-year-old grown up in an abused “family” (and still managed to be a decent person too): he has no memories of his parents, the only thing remained is a photograph. A photograph of a happy little family, showing James and Lily in love with the fruit of their love. Snape found it and ripped off and stole the half with Lily smiling so he could pretend her happiness and love were directed at him and not at her husband and son (yes, people, that disgusting moment actually existed, and it was so creepy Yates couldn’t put it in the movies). He stole Lily’s picture and Lily’s last words from Sirius, a friend she loved, the Potters’ best man, James’ brother. How nasty. What can I say, at least he waited until after Sirius’ death to go to Grimmauld Place and raid his bedroom?

Lovely Snivellus, such a cupcake, also laughed and mocked Tonks when her Patronus changed when she fell in love with Remus (let’s also remember that Tonks’s one was not the same as Remus’s, as stated by Rowling, before Snape stans can accuse me of applying double standards: Remus’s Patronus was a regular wolf, and okay Harry is oblivious at times, but he would have recognised a regular wolf) despite the fact that his own changed to match Lily’s - let’s just remember that THIS is obsessive behaviour, whilst James and Lily’s Patroni represent them being soulmates. Snape’s Patronus does not honour Lily, stop considering this the greatest romantic moment of all times, it does not show virtue nor morality, it’s just the representation of his creepy fascination with necrophilia. It’s disgusting, not noble. His so called love for Lily is creepy. She found happiness with another man, yet Snape was possessive, manipulative, and inarguably obsessive. And let’s remember that J.K. Rowling said that “he thought Lily would find him impressive if he became a real Death Eater”… was he really her best friend or was he just completely blinded by his attraction to the dark side? This is not a redemptive love, this is problematic, toxic, abusive, emotionally-stunted, obsessive.

This is because there was never a love triangle and that’s why there is simply NO Team Snape! Not winning at the genetic lottery doesn’t justify being such an awful person! Also, THIS is why the tag line should be changed from “always” to “Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!” or to “until the very end” because a father’s eternal love for his son is much more important than a racist’s obsession of a dead woman (dead because he contributed to her death, to be precise). His always and doe patrons can’t get him out of this one. Eventually, let’s remember J.K. Rowling’s dedication in Deathly Hallows: “[…] to you, if you have stuck with Harry until the very end.” Not “always” nor creepy moaning, just the pure words of a hero, of a loving father who died protecting the ones he loved most. 

Now, I don’t get why we should celebrate Snivellus as the hero of Slytherin and an example of the “not all Slytherins are evil” when Regulus Black died in a cave, drowned by reanimated corpses to bring about the downfall of Voldemort, and Narcissa Black straight up lied to Voldemort because she’s first and foremost a mother, ruthless in doing whatever it took to save her beloved son. Regulus and Narcissa were brave: despite their flaws they knew what mattered the most and they were two big key factor in Harry’s survival and Voldemort’s demise. Sure, Snape was among the three that deceived the Dark Lord, but whilst Regulus did it because he realised what was right and what wasn’t, and Narcissa did it because of love, putting her family first (plus, she wasn’t even a Death Eater, and this tells a lot about her, as her loyalties solely lie with her family), Snape did it because resentfulness. Sure, Regulus joined the Dark Eaters of his own free will and Narcissa did what she did only after having her family threatened, but since one of Snape stans’ major point in his defence is his family being abused, let’s take their family into consideration too. The Blacks were pureblood supremacist, they grew up within that establishment and yes, some members of the family rejected those arguable ‘values’ but not everyone has the courage to do that (also, every Black family member is indisputably a badass, don’t get me started on that). On the contrary, Snape was a half-blood, and still, ended up hating muggleborns - yes, don’t try to say he didn’t, he joined the Death Eaters because he believed in Voldemort’s cause. He disparages mud bloods, he joins in on their massacre as a Death Eater after having idolised them for years in school before actually joining them. Read this again: he idolised a group of pureblood supremacist, he actively helps orchestrate genocide against the muggleborns. And what is his Freudian excuse? He believed that, in so far as Halfblood, he had to ‘prove’ that he was magical and capable enough (does this remind you of somebody else who hated muggles albeit being a half-blood and eradicates his whole Muggle family?), you can see that in how he strived to highlight his maternal Prince lineage in his stupid nickname. And no, now don’t try to blame the Marauders’ behaviour for this: Severus Snape, the man you glorify, hated muggleborns and went out of his way to commit genocide against them. So, in the end, if you still deny that, despite it being clear in the books, you are being dishonest. If, on the contrary, you fully realise it and still glamorise Snape despite how horrible of a person he was, well Snape stans, you have sunk to a new low. I’m not trying to justify anyone who supported said supremacist beliefs, but at least Regulus and Narcissa were born and bred within one of the Sacred 28, those beliefs were instilled in them from the very beginning, Snape reached them all on his own (well done for embracing your nazi self Snivellus). Regulus turned his back on Voldemort as soon as he realised how wrong he had been: at age 18, he literally sacrificed himself to try and stop his master. Narcissa, on the other hand, never sworn loyalty to Voldemort: she was a pureblood elitist, yes, she was guided by pride, but she was also calm, rational and restrained where her sister was crazed and her husband was reckless. So… Regulus faced death in the hope that when when the time had come, Voldemort would have met his match and would have been mortal once more, and Cissy only wanted best for her family and did everything she could to protect her son. She perfectly knew that Voldemort could have easily killed her in a second, but she wanted to find Draco, kept a straight face as the strong woman she was and fooled the Dark Lord. And why did Snape deceive Voldemort? Oh, right, he told him the prophecy that eventually led to the killing of the woman he was obsessed with (and no, again, he did not care at all about her husband and baby), this, of course after asking him to spare her life so that he could have had her (so this is, once again, classic Snivellus holding grudges). Regulus and Narcissa are pretty much the epitome of Slytherin, and still, let’s celebrate Snape! As a Slytherin myself, I am utterly disgusted by Snape’s behaviour. He could have been an amazing teacher, he had the talent to be one of the greatest Potions masters ever, and he willingly chose to throw it away in favour of being awful for the sake of bullying his own pupils. If we have to pick characters who proved that not all Slytherins are evil, let’s look at Regulus, let’s look at Narcissa, let’s look at Slughorn and Andromeda. Slughorn fought against Voldemort during the Battle of Hogwarts and refused to become a Death Eater, Andromeda married a Muggleborn. And guess what? None of them bullied children for 15 years.

Then, for the “I sometimes think we Sort too soon” thing… no, just no. Before you can start yelling at me, I am not, I repeat, I am absolutely not saying this because I endorse the whole Gryffindor being saints thing. I am a Slytherin, and a proud one. I just don’t agree that Snape was brave. Is being a resentful, childish and abusive man being brave? Wow, I’ll have to refresh my vocabulary!  It is not brave to bully your pupils for years because you lost your loved one, it is not brave to refuse to accept a woman loves somebody else and moves on, it is not brave to keep a childhood grudge against that someone because they ‘stole’ the so called love of your life, it is not brave to try to destroy an orphan’s image of their heroic father. Snape was burned Lily had chosen James over him, so burned that, fuelled by jealousy and envy (and by his pretty questionable ideals too, because it’s too convenient to forget he is 100% a Death Eater and hence a supporter of Voldemort’s lovely view for the Wizarding World), he struck out and ended up getting Lily killed. I don’t consider playing the martyr by “teaching” (if we really want to call that teaching instead of child abuse) and being an occasional spy being brave. I call it feeling guilty, I call it ‘I deserve to suffer for hurting Lily but I still choose to bully her own son instead of honouring her,’ I call it ‘I keep on tormenting an orphan because I hated his father and he looks too much like him, plus, he has his mother’s eyes so I’m constantly remembered of 1) Lily choosing James over me and 2) Lily dying because of me telling my beloved Dark Lord the prophecy.’ Any protection Snape offered Harry, he did it because of his penance, not because protecting him (and hence stopping Voldemort) was the right choice. Wow, how brave of him. I don’t think Snape could have been a Gryffindor at all, and I hated how David Yates (again, very conveniently for his martyr business) placed the Gryffindor scarf hanging up in the background in Snape’s death scene as a nod to his supposed bravery. Like, really?! Even if you really want to call him brave, he’s still an awful person who shouldn’t have been allowed to teach because of how abusive he was, an awful person who was a member and supporter of a supremacist, racist and violent sect, an awful person who caused the death of innocent people - and I could go on and on. You can’t let a few good deeds outweigh all the bad! It’s not like some potion or Imperius Curse made him join the Death Eaters, spill the tea about the prophecy and terrorise those children. He willingly chooses to do that because he was an awful person until the very end. And still, Snape apologists be like “the conclusion of his arc is that abusing your position of power over children is forgivable if you stalked one of their parents when you were a teen.” Again, sick.

Snape’s portrayal in the movies is entirely fan-service throughout the whole series of films, but especially in DH part 2: they never showed Sirius arriving at the Potters the night Lily and James died, they never showed the moment his whole world collapsed when he saw the corpses of his best friends, the moment he blamed himself for what had happened. No, we got an entirely made-up (and creepy) scene of Snape getting there, holding Lily’s body and crying when that never happened! We also never got a scene with Sirius and Remus evidently struggling to hold it together while they tell Harry about James, how he changed and how Lily fell in love with him. Their pain would have shown how much James had an impact on their lives, for the better, but of course, we only got a partial rendition of Snape’s worst memory, with careful cuts of course, they couldn’t say he didn’t find anything wrong with the torture of Muggleborns, right?

You can like Snape, sure, he’s a flawed character with an interesting past, but he’s not a hero, stop portraying him as such instead of what he really was: an abusive, creepy, racist man. You are allowed to like villains (who doesn’t?) but stop praising him! You don’t have to justify his actions because you like him: he was awful, recognise it.

Do we (still) need to talk about double standards? Well, there we go: people hate Lavender Brown and Cho Chang. Fair enough, pretty annoying girls if you want to hear me, but why do they get hate? They get hate for how they handle their feelings: Lavender gets hate for how she handles her unrequited romantic feelings, and Cho gets hate for crying and grieving over the death of her boyfriend. Does this sound like a thread to you? With the sole difference that they get more hate than Snape and this is disturbing and honestly just sick. He is a terrorist, he literally moans the entire series and abuses and terrorises children because he couldn’t have Lily but hey, misunderstood hero!

Stop romanticising Snape: the only reason why people love him is Alan Rickman, and all of this hatred is just a pathetic way of trying to cover up that James grew up while Snape didn’t. How can people glorify and stand up for a man who canonically is a vindictive bully? To be honest, I’m genuinely concerned for people who over romanticise such a man. Correct me if I’m wrong: do you see anyone sticking up for the Dursley’s or Umbridge, when they do basically the same stuff to Harry as Snape? How is Necrophilus any different? I will never regard him as a hero for as long as I am alive, however, the movies conveniently cut those parts where Snivellus was the half princey of baddies, right? Also, I really wish Sirius could have found out about this lovely nickname Snape gave himself as a teenager, that alone would have cured his depression, post traumatic stress disorder and alcoholism, this is a real tragedy.

Severus Snape did not die for love. He died because Voldemort thought hew was the true Elder Wand owner. I repeat: he did not die for love. Period.

He raised a wand to McGonagall!

Avada

Kedavra

[fxckitup-buttercup]

😎 cool. So I was thinking what if there's a mysterious girl in e-class who tried to keep her home life a secret because her father is Takaoka, but then it's revealed who her dad is and his abuse and the girl is put with her mother who has married the principal, making her now Asano's stepsister. Is that too complicated 😅 also having her be Karmas s/o I'm sorry if that's like too much

it’s totally fine, i got the gist of it! i hope this is okay! i kinda went back to the episodes Takaoka was in to make sure the details were right 😅 i’m also sorry if the ending seems rushed

Life was unfair. This was a common thing that everyone knew. Life was unfair. The universe shits on good people while bad people get off free. 

It was how you had lived for a few years with your father. He would boast and brag about all the accomplishments that he managed to do in his life while at the same time, punishing you if you didn’t live up to his expectations or follow his ‘rules’. 

The only thing that did make you happy was the friends you had made. Some had become more than friends. Then there was that one person that you had ended up falling head over heels for. It was strange, falling for the red devil but it made you happy to know he loved you too. You were simply worried about him finding out about your dad.

When your dad did come to E-Class as the physical education teacher, you knew what to expect. It was just your luck that Karma wasn’t there. For better or worse, who knew. You knew of the harsh conditioning that he would put the class under. You stayed quiet like you would at home, your normal classroom demeanor rapidly transforming into your home demeanor. 

He might’ve brought sweets to the class but you knew his real mission. You knew better than to say anything that could be seen as back-talk.

You knew not to step in when he kneed Maehara even when you wanted to. It would only make things harder for everyone. But when he slapped Kanzaki, you felt guilt claw at your heart. The class noticed your mood change and your ability to complete the harsh training. They thought of something to say to you, curious about the mood change but didn’t want to risk Takaoka’s wrath. 

He was your dad but you didn’t want him to hurt any of your fellow students. You were stuck, unsure of what to do. Even so, you were about to jump in the way of Takaoka’s attempted punch to Kurahashi before Karasuma grabbed him. 

The deal that was made was one that irked you. Karasuma had his eyes on you, wanting you to fight. A subtle shake of your head got you out of it. Instead of you, it was Nagisa’s fight. You stood by and watched. 

The fight moved in slow movements. Before anyone knew it, Nagisa had Takaoka on the ground. Despite your hate towards your father, you still had a panic strike your spine. “Dad.” Your voice came out despite the protest your heart said. 

The class was looking at you in dismay. Even Karasuma was shocked. You drew back and escaped into the forest. It was the one place you had often explored especially when classes became overwhelming. While in the forest, you had decided to just go home. But not to the home that you were brought into with Takaoka. You went to your mother and stepfather’s home. 

Your mother welcomed you into her home with tears and hugs. You had no clue how long it had been since you had seen her. You met her new husband, the principal of the school you were currently attending. 

You thought of your new stepfather as a nice man. He was understanding of the situation, knowing your mother had been able to escape the torment. She had always carried guilt over not being able to get you out of the toxic environment but now you had been able to escape. 

The new family you had was very nice and helpful. Gakushu, your new stepbrother, had started to become more protective over you. He had no idea about the truth behind E-Class but that didn’t deter him from trying his best to make sure that you were okay. 

The next day, Gakushu walked you to school. Despite complaining about it, he still walked you to the base of the mountain. He decided that he wouldn’t allow himself to be seen anywhere closer to E-Class. You had found out upon arrival at the classroom that your father had been fired only hours after his hiring. 

You ignored the glances from your classmates. You knew they would be curious but you had no sure how to deal with the questions you would receive. Despite everything, Koro-sensei had decided to take you all on a trip down the mountain. 

On the way down, Karma came next to you and intertwined his hand with yours. “I heard about yesterday,” he said softly. His expression was the same, cocky grin he had but his tone was softer than normal. 

You didn’t respond but kept him close. “You can always talk to me if you need. And you can always come over whenever you need to.” This level of affection from Karma in a public space was something that you normally didn’t experience. It made your heart fuzzy. The rest of that day had gone along happily. 

Gakushu had wanted you to walk home with him after school but so did Karma. It made you hesitant. Everyone knew that the two of them had become rivals. Knowing that your stepbrother and your boyfriend were at odds with each other… It would end in chaos. 

So that afternoon, you just walked down to the base of the mountain with Karma. His arm was slung around your shoulder. Once again, your heart had gone zoom. 

You saw your stepbrother waiting at the main gate. He noticed you and then he noticed Karma. His face turned into a scowl as he walked up to you. “Get your filthy hand off of her, Akabane,” he growled. All you could do was sigh and listen to their bickering. “I’m not having you find out where I live!” 

Karma just smirked and followed as you and your stepbrother walked home. He would keep his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he walked next to you. Gakushu was absolutely annoyed but he didn’t want to do anything that would ruin your happiness. 

You might’ve had a life that started out on the deep end but it seems to be turning around for the better. 

[lovestrucklyuniverse]

Villain Redemption Arcs (at least in animation) [Spoilers for a lot of cartoons]

So, I don’t post rants/character analysis a lot on here, or really anywhere since I like to keep them private, but I feel like this is something I think needs to be talked about. Because redemption arcs, especially in cartoons, are a very mixed bag. 

Disclaimer: Everything in this rant is just my personal opinion so please be respectful. 

Here’s a list of cartoons that I will be spoiling so if you haven’t seen these and plan to watch them or you don’t care, just skip the bolded section for each part:

She-Ra: The Princesses of Power (2018)

Avatar: The Last Airbender

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic/Equestria Girls

Steven Universe

Now onto the rant. The order will go from best to the worst, at least in my opinion, and only the ones that I want to talk about. 

Avatar: The Last Airbender

As we all know, this series is known for having one of the best redemption arcs in not only animation, but television history. With Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. So he has a very tragic backstory from his childhood, which gives the audience instant sympathy points. His father neglected him and scarred him for life, his mother disappeared, and his sister was the favorite child. And once his father burned his face, he set out on a mission to find the Avatar in order to restore his honor, or as it’s strongly implied, to gain his father’s love. 

As the series goes on, we learn more about Zuko as a character, and he had done some very bad things. Like, he’s kidnapped Aang twice, he betrayed Katara in the cave, and sent Combustion Man after the group. But we also see through his relationship with his uncle that he’s actually a very nice person who is very awkward around most people. 

And the moment where he finally confronts his father is so powerful, because he acknowledges not only the things that their nation has done, not only what his own father has, but also everything that he had done himself. 

Now to where he asks to join Team Avatar. While he does apologize, he does understand why they don’t trust him at first. And something that makes the scene where Aang accepts him as his firebending teacher so powerful is that while he’s allowed to stay and help, they don’t forgive and accept him just yet.

Something that I like about his arc in S3 is how he goes on an individual mission with each of the three people he’s hurt the most/don’t trust him the most: Aang, Sokka, and Katara. Each episode, we learn about their dynamics and how they play off each other.

There is so much more to Zuko’s arc, but these are just the things I think work best about his overall story/arc in the show. 

Equestria Girls

A lot of people reading this are probably not fans of MLP at all or have never heard of this spinoff franchise, so just keep that in mind.

In this franchise, there is one character that keeps everyone engaged with Equestria Girls. And that is: bacon-haired Sunset Shimmer. She is a very big fan favorite amongst the pony fandom, and she’s one of my favorite characters of all time. 

Anyways, when we first meet Sunset, she’s the antagonistic bully who was just as powerful as the main character, Twilight Sparkle. She does everything in her power to frame Twilight and keep her getting ahold of the crown from Equestria. Everyone’s afraid of her and she very much uses it to her advantage. 

However, once she gets defeated by the HuMane 6, we see a very different side to her for the first time the whole film: A vulnerable side, because she has tears streaming down her cheeks as she apologizes to the whole student body that she’s tormented for years. 

In the next film (Rainbow Rocks), Sunset has a very different personality: She’s kind, willing to help, and an overall sweetheart. But here’s the thing, basically no one in Canterlot High trusts her, not even the HuMane 5. Throughout the film, we see her trying to make up for her past actions in every way possible, but she’s often left in the background due to their distrust of her. Every now and then, her temper flairs up but then immediately regretting it. 

Once her friends have no way of being able to defeat the villain, Twilight (her previous enemy) calls out to her for her help. For a spit moment, we see Sunset’s fear in her expression before she looks determined. She throws her jacket off and sings. The group sings in harmony, which is what finally takes down the three baddies. 

Throughout the entire franchise, Sunset still faces issues with her temper and her struggles about her past. Sunset’s arc is probably my personal favorite, as its one that I personally relate a lot to. And what makes it even more impactful is how she helps others learn to get through the mistakes they’ve made similar to hers. 

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Now onto the original, where EG came from. 

In MLP, it has a long list of redeemed villains. Such as Discord, Starlight Glimmer, Diamond Tiara, Gilda, Thorax, Trixie, etc. But I feel like the most controversial one would have to be Starlight, who actually becomes Twilight’s student and even meets Sunset. 

So, Starlight starts out as a villain who wants to take away everyone’s individuality (such as cutie marks). Once the Mane 6 defeat her (with help from those who were once loyal to her), she stays in hiding throughout the season until the finale. Where she goes back in time in order to ruin Twilight and her friends’ potential meeting in the future. 

But it ends with Twilight extending a hand, or rather hoof, in friendship which somehow convinces her to put a stop to her villianous ways. 

Starlight’s arc for the rest of the series is fairly mixed, which goes for how the fans feel about it as well. She is fairly impulsive and doesn’t really think things through until she gets the consequences later on. I still enjoy her character in some ways, but I completely get why it’s mixed in the fanbase. 

Steven Universe

Okay, I personally don’t hate these as much as everyone else, considering I love Peridot and Lapis’s arcs. 

However, even I can admit that the redemption arcs for the Diamonds was way too rushed. These are dictators who had used their powers on their subjects for CENTURIES and then suddenly they just decide that they don’t want to do it anymore? 

It was badly executed and I can tell that it’s going to annoy people for the rest of time. 

She-Ra: The Princesses of Power

Before you all kill me, please just hear me out. I love Catra as much as the next person, she’s my favorite character. But I also can’t let my love for her get in the way of how poorly executed her redemption was. 

Yes, she was mentally and physically abused as a child so it made her clinge to Adora more than anyone else in the Horde. And yes, it was understandable that she felt betrayed by Adora. 

But it does not justify her kidnapping several characters, taking advantage of people’s vulnerability, lying to people, pulling the lever to end the world just to prove a point to Adora, and putting all of the blame on Adora for her turning out this way. She and Double Trouble were in the right to call her out on her behavior. Everything she did was her own choice and Catra never once showed that she regretted anything she did before joining the Best Friend Squad in the last season. 

It was way too rushed and easily the worst way to redeem a character. I love S5 Catradora, but the arc should’ve started much earlier than it had.