#I haven’t been very active the last couple of days and probably won’t be for a couple more

[unionjackpillow]

.

[frozenjokes]

mumbomaid next chapter draft that’s getting scrapped. I’ve been having a rough time and my first two attempts of writing this chapter haven’t been going well so I’m going to take some time away and work on smth else for a bit.

nothings super wrong with this but it’s just darker than I wanted to go for especially since the next part was going to play on a little bit of (prescription) drug misuse which I didn’t like. first attempt at this was a mumbo pov and maybe I’ll try again. For now, this (unedited and not proofread)

tw: ptsd related panic attack (something that may be explored but in a much different, much less intense way)

***

The way Scar assaulted Grian during their shared shift, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him by the wrist, Grian was certain the big cats had planned a coup, simultaneously escaped their enclosures, and were actively hunting down all the staff.

This alarm was not helped by Scar yanking Grian through the quiet but very full break room, then directly into the staff bathroom, a very small, very meant for one person, bathroom

“Scar!” Grian wailed, which could probably be heard clearly from the break room.

“Grian!” Scar’s enthusiasm rivaled Grian’s terror, “Mumbo! Mumbo’s back! I don’t even know how long- I haven’t checked the camera feed for a couple days. We have to go! We have to go now!”

“Scar- why- That’s great but-“

“Come on!” Scar took his hand, about to push back out of the bathroom before Grian yanked him backwards. Scar yelped, struggling until Grian took him by the shoulders and shook him, forcing a factory reset and leaving Scar with a stupefied look on his dumb dopey face.

“Scar. I can not just leave work.”

“Yes you can, I’m your boss,” Scar looked so bewildered that Grian felt the only thing that would fix him was to scratch and claw at his face like a frenzied cat, but he refrained.

“I have two hours left, and Pearl is expecting me to stick around.”

“I’m also Pearl’s boss.”

“That doesn’t matter, Scar! I’m not leaving until I finish my shift, and by then we won’t have much time before it gets dark, it’ll be cold and buggy on the beach, I don’t want to go today.”

“Is this about money, Grian? I’ll double your rate for the last two hours if you come with me!”

“No!” Grian released Scar only to grab fistfuls of his own hair, putting presence to his growing headache, “You can’t just spring this stuff on me, Scar! Just go without me if you want to leave so bad.” Anger roiled in the pit of his stomach, far more than rational for the crime, and that made it worse, why did everything he feel have to be so volatile?

“But I.. I want you there.” Scar was beginning to back down, the blind excitement fading into sense, but the push back still slammed into Grian like a dog snapping at his throat. Like a mermaid.

“Leave- Leave me alone! Just- Just leave me the hell alone! Get out!” Grian pushed him, he didn’t feel himself lunge forward but he saw Scar hit the door, “Get out!”

Grian blinked and he was gone. It was so fast, so utterly complete that Grian thought he’d hallucinated Scar’s being there, he nearly screamed, he wanted to, but all that left him was a mangled whimper, hitching as he stumbled back, falling on the toilet seat lid. He was going to die. There was no doubt in his mind, he was going to die. He felt its teeth in his hands, his wrists. Its weight, so complete he could only choke for breath. He tasted dirt. He might have wailed.

Someone knocked on the door, but he didn’t hear it. He didn’t see it when the door cracked open.

“..Grian? It’s Scar. I.. I brought you something. I called your emergency contact, Jimmy- He’s on the way.”

Grian didn’t know what kind of noise left his mouth, but it wasn’t words. He buried his head in his knees, curled up on the toilet. Scar crept forward, but Grian was barely aware of him.

“I.. I’ve got a stuffed animal? And a blanket? No one’s in the break room, you can come out if you want to. It’s quiet, a lot nicer than it is in here. You can lay down.”

Something soft nudged his arms where they were tightly folded over his legs. It didn’t hurt.

“I don’t. Know what’s happening to me.” Grian had to say it before he could look up, he had to say it because he was still dying, the air was still being violently stomped out of his lungs.

“It’s not great..” Scar said, the astute observer. “You want this?” Once again Grian was nudged with the soft thing, so he looked up, bleary eyed, and took it, knowing little of what it was before stuffing it between his legs and his chest, then locking his head back over his knees. With one hand, he pet it, though the motions were more choking than gentle. Belatedly, he recognized the shape. Penguin. The gesture was enough to tug at the stubborn distress that coated his sand filled lungs. He coughed. The sand shifted. Grian wretched, suddenly certain he was going to puke, and Scar was on him immediately, steadying him when he swayed dangerously toward the edge of the toilet seat. It didn’t hurt.

“I want to go home. I want to go home.”

“Jimmy’s on his way.”

And then Grian woke up at home. He remembered only vaguely getting there. He didn’t know how he got in and out of Jimmy’s car. He didn’t remember falling asleep. He was still clutching the stuffed animal. His eyes were dry. He didn’t remember crying. He heard shuffling outside his room.

“Jimmy?” he called, or at least he tried, but Jimmy heard him anyway, poking his head through the open doorway.

“Hey, bud. How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know.”

Jimmy shrugged, like he wasn’t sure what to do with that as well. “What happened, man?”

Grian shook his head, near laughing. He brought his hands over his eyes, then realized there was a stuffed animal in the way. “That. Was new.”

“Awh,” which seemed like a massive understatement, but really, after so many instances of severe shit storming, there were only so many Big Reactions someone could give, “Damn. Please don’t attack anyone again.”

A reasonable request. “I didn’t mean.. I thought.. I thought I was going to die.”

“Scar said you guys were arguing..?”

“We weren’t arguing. We were talking about my hand.” Had they been? Grian didn’t know. Somewhere down the line that’s what he’d taken. “Maybe.. We could have been arguing. I have to think about it, but I don’t want to right now. But I’m okay. I’m okay now.”

Jimmy didn’t look very convinced, even despite the fact that Grian was usually honest when it came to how he was feeling. Grian might have been hurt, before the latent occurrence that he wasn’t quite sure if he was okay. Everything was weird. Floaty. He was so damn tired. Had he taken something before he had fallen asleep? He wouldn’t be surprised.

“I ordered a pizza. Does that sound good to you?”

“Yeah, Jim,” Grian sighed, closing his eyes. “Thank you.”

[anotherfuckingmarvelfanaccount]

Come Take A Break With Me

My Masterlist

Pairing(s): Pietro Maximoff x Fem!ADHD!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex, medication, and unhealthy eating and drinking habits. Maybe a bit of swearing, but I’m not sure. 

Word Count: 752

Summary: When Pietro realizes that you’ve been so busy writing you haven’t taken care of yourself, he convinces you to take a break with him.

**

“Where’s Y/N?” Pietro asked Peter at the dinner table. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

Peter stabbed his fork into his bowl of pasta. “I think she’s in the library, said something about working on a deadline.”

Pietro rolled his eyes. “A self-imposed one, I bet. Oh my darling princessa never knows when to stop. Her adoring fans will be there no matter how long it takes her to get another fic out. They know she has a life.”

“Are you gonna go get her?” Peter asked.

“I’ll wait until after dinner, she won’t want to eat with everyone if she’s in the middle of her hyperfixation.” Pietro said, twirling his fork around. “When was the last time you saw her?”

Peter finished chewing before answering. “Two days ago?”

“She hasn’t taken her pills!” Pietro exclaimed, rushing to your room to grab your pills before heading to the library in the compound. “Princessa? Are you in here?” 

You looked up, hearing Pietro call for you. “Piet? What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you. How long have you been down here?”

“A couple of hours, I think.” You said, shrugging before turning back to your laptop.

FRIDAY picked that moment to chime in, “Miss L/N has been down here for 2 days without eating, drinking, sleeping, or taking her meds, Mr. Maximoff.”

“Princessa? I leave for a one day mission and you don’t take care of yourself for two? What in the everloving hell is this? Why another self-imposed deadline when you know that your followers will just be happy to see that you’re active? You’ve made it clear to them that you have a real and very pressing lifestyle outside of the computer, and you aren’t writing any series’ so there’s not a rush to get out the next chapter either.”

You looked down, embarrassed to have forgotten the most basic human needs while Pietro was away. “‘M sorry.” You said quietly, subtly wiping at your eyes.

Pietro rushed to your side, holding your hands in his. “Hey, princessa, I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you, I just worry because I know you can forget sometimes. Why don’t you finish your idea and then we can go upstairs and get some food, drink, and sleep? I brought you your meds. Come take a break with me.” He told you, kissing the back of both your hands.

“I love you, Piet.” You said, nodding gently. “Yeah, um, this fic really just needs me to step away, I’ve been killing myself trying to write it for weeks when all I really want to write is the next thing on my list. But I really want this done first, so I think it’s done, but I should come back to the fic later, in a different mindset.”

“More fed and rested.” Pietro said, pulling you in for a hug and resting his chin on top of your head.

“Exactly. I’ll bring my laptop upstairs with me and edit the fic in the morning before I post it.” 

He kissed your forehead gently before asking you a serious question. “Did you not notice that you were hungry?”

“You know how I get.” You replied.

“Oh, I do. But you didn’t notice you were hungry for two days?”

You kissed each of his cheeks softly. “Well, now that you mention it, I’m starving. What did Wanda make for dinner?”

“Some pasta dish, I don’t know, I probably let mine get cold rushing down here.” He replied, handing you your meds.

“A quick dinner and then we can cuddle, okay? I know you don’t sleep as well without me and you must’ve noticed I never came to bed last night.”

Pietro laughed, kissing all over your face. “You know me too well, princessa.” He zoomed the two of you upstairs. “Eat and then bed, okay?”

“Make sure you soundproof the room this time.” Tony remarked dryly, glancing back and forth between the two of you.

“She hasn’t slept in two days, we won’t need soundproofing to sleep, Stark.” Pietro said, taking up a bowl of dinner for you.

You rested your head on your hands, with your elbows on the table innocently looking at Tony, “Well, maybe we’ll just have to show you how loud Piet can be another time then, Tone.”

“Oh, princessa, I think you’re getting the two of us mixed up.” Pietro said, placing your bowl in front of you and sitting next to you.

“We’ll have to test and see, baby.”

**

Taglist: @chrisevansdaughter, @buckybarnesandmarvel, @sarahrogersevans, @nana1000night

Let me know if you want to be added or removed!

[engineer-gunzelpunk]

Traintober 2023: Out Of Service

Heavy Harry’s Last Train

1956

A sad day for Harry, for he was to pull his final revenue raising train to Melbourne before his overhaul. But the way things were going, everyone doubted if he would actually get it.

He had slept overnight at Seymour before the trip, which was OK because Newport had taken on a charnel house-like atmosphere. The scrap roads filled with exhausted, sad locos ready to be taken apart. It was basically his second home anyway.

Is this the day I finally get to cry? It would be an acceptable excuse to do it.

The tears would not come. He felt drier than the Simpson Desert. Numb.

His cylinders on the other hand, always felt slightly ticklish. And not from those weird happy butterflies he got in them when he saw VR Hudson R700 Nucklevee again, but bad sort of ticklish.

Steam was leaking into them, his regulator was probably broken in addition to his sore, in-need-of-replacement boiler and if it wasn’t for the Westinghouse brake, venting as much steam as he possibly could through his cylinder cocks, safety valve and his sheer willpower in locking them, he would careen off by himself with an 800 tonne load.

He did not want this to happen.

Please, please, please I need my overhaul so bad! Even if you put me in mothballs, at least make me safe!

That’s not going to happen isn’t it?

I’m now an actual danger to myself and people. You can’t really be this negligent, VR? Say it ain’t so? Its one thing to let us get caked in filth, its another thing to lag behind on overhauls just because you want to be rid of us.

You don't care, do you?

I’m about to have my last ride and I’m actively a danger to everyone. I’m trying so very hard…

He was washed and cleaned for his final ride, which didn’t improve his mood a jot but at least he didn’t look as shabby as he did. His paint did shine a little duller though, whether from sadness or from neglect was difficult to tell.

“How are you, Harry…”, asked Driver

“Not great…” he said as if under water.

“I can understand… its a sad day for everyone…”

“I’m shit scared… my regulator is leaking…I can feel the steam in my cylinders even with the regulator shut… I don’t want to do this…”

“Lets try get through today, Har’, we’ll work our darndest to make it safe and get you home...”

“I’m not going to get that overhaul, won’t I…”

“I don’t think so, boy...”

30th of April, 1958

“What are they going to do with me? I’ve been sitting here for two years...I’m bored and antsy… and I haven’t heard from the Historical Society in weeks… Do you have any news, Driver?”

“I’m so sorry, Harry...there’s no nice way of saying this… you are being withdrawn…”

Harry didn’t quite hear Driver say these words, terrible overwhelming fear and confusion flooded his smokebox.

The physical pain that was in his boiler that was now constant but low, suddenly stabbed him and he exhaled sharply.

“No reprieve?”

“No, big fella”

Driver squeezed his knuckle coupling sadly, in an attempt to give him comfort.

“What is to happen to me, Driver…”, he said in a voice that was barely above a murmur.

“We don’t know…the preservationists are working on something… but it will take time…”

That emotional pain that was already there, more of it was being added. But he had to push that aside and think.

“What will you do, Driver…”

“I’m a railwayman, and always have been…

“There’s no place for us in the brave new world of swappable roles they are going to create… easy to drive, easy to train, which was what I suspect was going on the entire time they were doing this diesel introductory thing anyway...

Not a word of thanks for the work and love we put into you and yours, Harry…

I’ll never forget you, big fella…”

Harry wanted so very badly to cry, but the pain could not flow outwards. Instead, it settled back into his cold firebox and burned as bitterness.

The pain in his side flared, as if expressing what he could not.

He just cast his eyes downward and sighed.

There is no light at the end of this tunnel, just another, even bigger fuck-off train ready to barrel through you and out the other side, leaving you in pieces all over the track.

[atxxzist]

broken | c.s (09) preview

series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 931

a/n: another preview bc i genuinely have no idea when im gonna b able to finish this

summer isn’t anything like your school experience so far, which is a good thing.

instead of sticking to your dorm room or the cafe nearby all day, you at least went out; to lotte world when both of your friends wanted some thrills and proceeded to drag you through a near hell experience where you almost fainted from a ride and stayed beside mingi to nurture him after because he’s still the same ‘ole scaredy cat you know him to be, who gets easily nauseous.

they also took you to your first ever bar and ordered you a cocktail drink named after something you cannot remember, but it was all super extra and too sophisticated for your taste.

you might’ve gotten a tad drunk; the experience not at all like you imagined, and attacked mingi with a few kisses, though you have suspicions it wasn’t all your doing considering mingi had been eyeing someone across the bar all night who was giving him the same coy look back.

but if you’re to ask him, he’d probably just tell you it was nothing serious; just a one night thing. and maybe not exactly sexual but a couple flirty exchanges, that’s it. you know how he is.

but the first few weeks of you guys running around like bachelors not tied to anything but just having fun comes to an end when minji called, finally able to free up some time to pay a visit to her boyfriend and friends she hasn’t seen in a while.

yunho was the most happy and excited you’ve seen him ever since stepping on seoul’s soils, when minji arrived at the dormitory and ran into his arms so fast, it made you sick to the stomach how sweet the scene was.

she had planned an entire list of her own of things to do together and was elevated to reveal the first activity on that list much to your dismay, because you guys had already done something similar a couple weeks before.

“come on, guys! it’s gonna be fun!” she cheers, arms wrapped around one of yunho’s and jumping on the way to the lobby as both you and mingi trail from behind just a good amount of distance because the matching shirts the two has on makes you guys not want to associate yourselves.

“i could think of a million other things to do than go to another amusement park,” mingi comments; his snarky tone causing minji to stop as she pulls yunho along, her head turning and shooting lasers toward said boy.

“you didn’t even have to come!” she rolls her eyes.

“well, i wouldn’t want y/n over here to be third wheeling the whole time.”

it’s your turn to roll your eyes, not at all fazed by the banter because you know it won’t be the last one of the day, just wishing it will pass soon enough so you guys can make it there before the sun sets.

“pfft,” minji brushes off, tugging you by the hand and making you stumble a few steps forward until you’re pulled right next to her, shoulders touching.

“we are very inclusive!” she adds, and you shoot a rather simple smile in return, knowing the minute yunho does something cute or vice versa, you will be long forgotten.

“yeah, sure, whatever,” mingi dismisses, reaching out for your wrist as you’re thrown back next to him like a tossed ball. “but she’s gonna need me if you’re going to be dragging her through those scary rides.”

minji scoffs. “i think you’re the one that needs her.”

for a moment, it looks like mingi’s about to say something back, until his eyes fleet to something else in front of him; his towering height allowing him to see over the two.

“hey, yeosang!” yunho’s the one to start, his attention on the boy long before any of you caught notice.

it’s the way you snap your head so fast, only able to see half of his body as yunho’s figure covers the other, but you don’t miss the way his gaze skips over to meet yours, conjuring up a knot in your throat as you swallow it down.

you haven’t seen him since that night, whether your schedules just differs now, or that you pretty much went out of your way to avoid him, it feels weirdly nostalgic and wrong seeing him again.

“hey!” he waves a bit awkwardly, but genuine in the sense he looks happy by the coincidence.

he has a bag over one shoulder and his hair is a little disheveled; skin also glistening that tells you he just came back from a pretty tough day at work.

“you came at the perfect timing.”

“looks like it.” he chuckles, and oh… you hate how deep and melodic it sounds. “you guys can go ahead. i’m just gonna put my things back and i’ll catch up soon.”

one of your eyebrows raise immediately at that.

“oh, it’s fine. we can wait.”

yeosang hesitates but eventually give in. “alright then, i’ll be quick.”

you wait until he’s out of sight to say something, eager to confirm the suspicion.

“you invited yeosang?” you don’t sound hostile or aggravated, just in complete awe.

“yes, just thought you’d enjoy some company. mingi’s probably going to run off on you sooner or later.”

mingi’s face twist, offended at the accusation. you on the other hand, is completely cornered in this situation with no other way out, knowing you’re going to have to be in kang yeosang’s presence for the rest of the day.

unbelievable.

[dreadnotau]

This is probably not the post any of you wanted to see.

Before anyone panics, NO, Dread Not is NOT cancelled, and NO, I have NOT given up on it. It’s just being put on another hiatus, though I’m not sure how long this one will last.

TL;DR - when your “passion project” feels less fulfilling as an art activity than your college assignments do, you’re doing something wrong.

As some of you may know one person alone has been working on the art and management of the Dread Not accounts, the server, and most importantly the comic itself. That unlucky fucker is me. Managing it all used to be a lot more exciting, I guess, but nowadays it’s become a looming deadline and a chore. By purely my own fault, might I add. I’ve boxed myself into a lot of arbitrary things and now making this comic isn’t nearly as fun as it used to be, hooray. Coupled with the fact that meowchela, the co-creator of the au, the one who helps write it and spellcheck it (even if neither of us are good at it), and also my moral support and the only reason I started posting the comic in the first place, hasn’t even been into deltarune for the past half year. It all stacks up to a very tired and unhappy Kooki.

Now, most of you don’t give a shit about this melodrama, and that’s valid. You’re here to see my drawings of cute monsters in distress going through several kinds of midlife crises, and also baby Kris, and that’s good because that’s what I want out of this comic too. But right now? I am NOT in the mental state to be meeting my own arbitrary deadlines for a comic a lot of people don’t directly engage with. This isn’t to say that any of you are obligated to care, or reblog or like or whatever. It’s just the way the internet works. It’s extremely hard to engage in a productive or proactive way, and I think that’s why I have more fun with my art college assignments, nowadays. Because the art, whether it be good or bad and no matter the technique, immediately gets feedback both from my professors AND my colleagues!

Some of you who aren’t as involved in art making might not know that negative feedback is some of the most valuable feedback an artist can get back (when it’s given in good faith, of course), and as Dread Not as an art project was set up specifically to help me improve my art, it’s kind of a shame I haven’t been getting a lot of negative feedback from people unless I ask directly. It’s like the internet actually took the idea of “if you don’t like it don’t look at it” to heart, which is great! But not for me and this comic, sadly. Going forward (aka whenever I have the strength to start uploading weekly again), I might drastically simplify the visuals of the comic, maybe even change some style things because it feels like I’ve really stagnated with the art of the comic.

I talked about this with meowchela recently, I had a very specific style in mind when I first started the sketches for this comic, and when I finished the first page, it wasn’t quite what I wanted it to be. The truth is, I didn’t have the skills to execute the style I wanted for the comic, and to an extent I still don’t, so instead of the tedious and not-quite-what-I-wanted current style, I might just change it up to be completely different and less time consuming, because either way it won’t be what I want. (And, for the record, most of this drivel is about the backgrounds, the text boxes, and aesthetic choices, and not about the character art, because I’m decently happy with that)

And to the dedicated readers, I have to stress that this isn’t the end. Dread not is a story I care about, even if its amateurish and was basically made by accident. I WANT to tell this story, if only because I know a past version of me was yearning to tell it but lacked the bravery to even try (again, meowchela is the only reason this comic exists, and I basically owe her a life for getting me to start upload the ludicrous au idea I had so long ago). The story and comic WILL continue one day, just not soon. Call it an indefinite hiatus if you want, but it’ll come back one day, stronger than ever, and hopefully better organized. I feel a strange mix of melancholy and relief finally putting this beast down for a nap again.

If I may go a little bit into the behind the scenes, my creative process is hardly a coherent process at all, and is mostly a hodgepodge of spur of the moment ideas immediately put to paper without much thought. Days, weeks, months, or years later, I have to face the consequences of those split-second decisions, and that’s the process that’s been the status quo for this comic’s creation. Sometimes it’s good, like a core symbol to the story coming from what was originally a one-off gag (a-la early homestuck), but most of the time its bad, with hours spent reformatting and redrawing sketches in order to actually make it look competent, which just results in a lot more time that I feel I’m wasting because it’s hardly a part of the finished page itself.

All in all, Dread Not is my baby, my first large-scale project, and I’m not going to abandon it because of one really bad burst of art block. I’ve had other projects I’ve been slowly chipping away at (most of them deltarune related as well) that’ll also be put on hiatus too… not that anyone will really notice because I hardly upload them. But there’s also a lot of personal projects and OC stories I’ve been meaning to work on but just couldn’t get in the right frame of mind to, so maybe I’ll finally start work on those while I take a proper vacation from Dread Not. This whole hiatus thing, however, also means I’ll stop responding to messages, both on Tumblr and in the Discord server, as frequently. Some of you may have already noticed my decline in activity on both fronts. This break has been a long time coming, I’ve just been in denial about it.

And finally, thank you all, again, for reading and enjoying this comic. You probably enjoyed it more than I have! And I mean everyone, from the people who only read and don’t interact with any of the posts, to the people who reblog nearly every page that comes out (I see you guys, and I love your tags), all of you kept me going and I wish I had more to give for the support you’ve shown. I’ll take my time off to really put myself in the right place mentally and physically to bring you the best comic I can. And hey, if you stick around long enough, maybe you’ll even see the end of it! I know I will.

Stay tuned!

PS - If anyone wants lore to chew on while the comics on hiatus, have this bit of trivia I’ve been meaning to share: the current events that are unfolding were originally (and technically still are) only the backstory for the plot I wanted to tell from the beginning. It’s why Kris is so young compared to their deltarune self, it’s why a lot of locations are bare-bones and placeholder, it’s why we aren’t seeing many characters involved right now even though a lot of characters have appearances planned. What I’m trying to say is, this is only the beginning, and I’d love to see someone try to predict where things will go from here, because this status quo won’t stay for much longer, that’s for sure :)

[fledglingmaster]

3, 10 & 17 for Blue and 21 & 24 for you

Thank you so much! (Merci Beaucoup! – Blue)

3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

I don’t care for more modern movies for the most part, so this list might be a tad dated. I do have a fondness of silent movies and black & whites in general, but I won’t go that far back heheh. Horror movies are entertaining enough, my host enjoys them, so I see many.

The Phantom of the Opera (2005) – I went through a phase in which I watched the entire thing in English and as soon as it was over, again in French. Then again in English, and the cycle continued all day. It was a comfort during a tough time period for this vessel. I’m also a fanatic about anything Phantom of the Opera.

Van Helsing (2004) – Vampires, Kate Beckinsale, Hugh Jackman, the ballroom scene, what more to love? I also associate it with Halloween, the night we first saw it. Another comfort I suppose.

Mama (2013) – It reminds me of what happened to me and my brother. Being taken in by a being, him having loyalty, and me betraying them both. It hurts in a way that heals.

Honorable mentions:

Queen of the Damned (2002) – If for nothing other than sexy vampires and a killer soundtrack.

Underworld (2003) – See a theme here? Sexy vampires, specifically Kate Beckinsale.

10. would you say you’re an emotional person?

My host insists on me telling the truth. I’m highly emotional. I tend to laugh things off or appear cold and indifferent when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m very sensitive. I’m prone to sadness and depression and quick to anger. My feelings get hurt easily but I’ll never admit it when it happens. (Host: “Something something your toxic trait.” Stay in your own lane sir.)

17. name 3 things that make you happy

Quality time spent with another, having deep conversations, holding each other, an activity I miss.

Writing, though I don’t do too much on my own. I have assisted my host in some of his work. A couple he’s posted were predominantly written by me. I like to read as well, I think the two pair together.

Sex, that’s a real answer, right? I immensely enjoy it.

(Okay if the last one doesn’t count, I like going to museums. Science, art, history, natural, medical, it doesn’t matter. They’re all wonderful!)

21. are you a spiritual person?

I’m extremely spiritual. I do energy work. I’m a baby witch, but not a Wiccan, I don’t like organized religion…it just isn’t for me.

24. what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

It’s probably because of internalized ablism, but I’m really proud of all the schooling I went through. I finished a medical program that able-bodied people were even struggling with. It was rough physically and emotionally. I passed my exam and now I can have letters after my name. Although I haven’t been able to practice, due to my own health limits, I have kept up with my license requirements and have been taking classes to continue learning. I can’t wait for the day that I have my health a bit more in control so I can help others.

[meditatewithfernando]

2024 News: A new coupon arrives... And your former instead of expiring, is now permanent!

2024 News: Here at Soul Guidance, they are all good! Hello! How are you? I hope you are enjoying this year, or at least the meditations on love and relationships. If you haven't, try one of them today, you'll love it! For this week I bring you the 2024 news. But they are going to be very direct, positive, and quick. We are sure that you have seen the changes that the websites and the entire infrastructure have been changing. Many things will continue to grow and improve, so looking forward to 2024! And one of them, you have probably noticed that we have more activity on the socials. So if you haven't done so, I invite you to follow us on all of them, because we are going to do giveaways on different networks, and not on all of them at the same time. This year we are going to grow a lot on the networks, so ride the wave today! Facebook-f Twitter Youtube Linkedin-in Instagram Pinterest-p Vimeo-v Quora Medium-m A couple of things about coupons. In the 2024 news, regarding finances, we are only going to talk about coupons! And also, very quickly: - If you have last year's coupon, maybe you remember that it was going to expire. Well, it won't be like that anymore, this coupon doesn't expire for now! - And if you don't have this coupon, I'm going to give you one now, also without an expiration date. This coupon is PERM5, and it is good for practically everything, including psychic readings, and monthly and three-month programs. And that's it for pricing and coupons. Some years we have to raise prices, but this is not one of them! By the way! Last year we had to give you some more difficult news, but this year it's all good. Even so, the 2024 news brings you a couple of cool things that will last until February 28: - With a small or medium reading, I will give you a basic healing on what appears in the reading. - I will give you complete healing plus a Guided Meditation with a large or extra-large reading. - With a one-hour reading, I will give you "Talk to Fer Whatsapp" to chat by text during the next seven days. We thank you very much for your loyalty. As always, we will continue to give everything to help you in the best way possible. One more thing! There are a lot of great articles; however; there are a few essential reads that may be of interest to you, so check them out: - You: How to get to know yourself and get out the most from your life? - What should people know about general astral projection, meditation, or spirituality? - Astral Travel: Get out of your body. Quick and easy Astral Projection Guide. - Dream Types: Dreams and Lucids, super-lucid, sleep paralysis, and more! - What are the chakras? How to open, heal, and expand them right now! - What is the difference between a Lucid Dream and an Astral Projection? We hope you enjoy these loads! And that's all. Did you like News 2024? Me too! Next week, we will talk about the meaning of being a starseed, personally and globally. As I starseed myself, I can share with you how it felt, and how it feels. But all of this, next week! See you next Wednesday! So, If you do not want to miss a single update, click below to join our weekly newsletter, and you will gain access to exclusive content. Subscribe now! I invite you to check earlier posts: seventh year, sixth year, fifth year, fourth year, third year, second year, first year. Love & Light, Lots of blessings and abundance your way! (Home) Rev. Fernando Albert Read the full article

[euphoricfilter]

Oooh I l get the uni social problems. (I’m in my second semester). I do a lot of going to events hoping I’ll make friends, then leaving halfway through without actually making any friends because I prefer to leave a bit before my social battery dies so I don’t start saying stuff without any filter (I tend to skip common sense when my brain fries). My short conversations and sometimes just listening and asking questions has started piling up and even if I don’t have proper friends yet I have a fair number of friendly acquaintances. Maybe I’ll have a couple friends by the end of this semester.

i get that!!

i’ve actually been completely avoiding all the fresher events last week and will probably avoid all the ones this week too. the people in my hallway have asked me to come out with them a couple of times, or to drink with them in the kitchen and i’ve had to politely decline because it really just isn’t for me and i wouldn’t wanna ruin the vibes because my brain can only handle so much stimuli before i disassociate and just feel funky bad for like 3 days after

the last like year has been particularly bad for my social anxiety so i know i’ll be way too overwhelmed 10 minutes into whatever event is happening, especially the night time ones so i’ve been preserving my sanity and not going to anything because i just know i won’t enjoy any of it. and i think sometimes it’s hard to accommodate for yourself but i’ve been getting a little better at it, and hope i’m indirectly sending signals to the people i live with that i do like them but i’m just nervous a lot of the time

i think my problem is, i haven’t had to actively make friends since i was like 10. the school i just graduated from, my grade was small enough that you’re just kinda friends with everyone by default, because there’s 12 of you and that’s all you’ve got, so you kinda just get along with everyone and you’re all relatively comfortable among one another. so coming into an environment like this is very new and a little daunting…

everyone i’ve met has been very nice so far though, i know i have the tendency to overthink every conversation i have with people and a lot of my worries are in my head. super irrational and a little silly, but again, everyone’s brains are a little different and that’s okay

i would like to say that i definitely think me and the girl in the room next to me are friends though, like it’s easy to ask her if she wants to come to the shops with me, or her to message me about going out to get bubble tea and stuff like that. and i shared my garlic bread with her the other day so i’d argue that was a defining moment in becoming friends because i really love garlic bread

as for the 3 guys i met today, it was kinda spontaneous and i was not ready for them to just call me to sit with them… and every time they would ask me questions i could feel my brain going into absolute overdrive. they did like my choice of favorite movies though so that’s at least a good start. and i didn’t wanna like stick to them the whole day because i thought that would be weird but when i strayed away from them a little they’d make sure i caught up so they seem super nice too

honestly i thought i’d be a little like you, and kinda just have a few good acquaintances that i’m semi comfortable with, especially in my classes. so if we have any group work at least i’m not like peeing myself trying to figure out who to work with but everyone’s just so nice 😭

i feel like i do the complete opposite!!! the moment my social battery is dying i’m silent. i can not form a singular thought that isn’t about my suffering and then i fully dissociate and feel like crying a little and have to force myself to actually pay attention to what is happening otherwise i will retreat into my little mind and think about silly little things so i don’t have to be fully there

i believe you’ll get friends soon!! my dad keeps telling me that it’s all still new and slowly you’ll gravitate towards people like yourself, with maybe the same interests or ways of thinking!! so i believe in the both of us and our abilities to find good people to be friends with 🫡‼️

and i hope your university life is going good too!! less anxiety inducing than mine has been so far and that you’re eating well and taking care of yourself well too 🫂💞

[softjakehoon]

My Roommate Who Uses an XL Condom pt. 1

pairing: Jay/Reader

includes: slight edging, deep throat, cum in mouth, rough sex, breeding kink, roommate sex

warning: this is a written smut, if you don’t like reading stuff like this, scroll down for your sake please it’s not that complicated, thank you. 

also, this was inspired by a manga called "Joushi no Asoko wa XL size" and it's the part about the xl condom thingy, which would be on the second part though. and of course, our y'n being a product reviewer. the rest are based on my imagination.

----

You've been searching for a part-time job for a couple of hours now, but most of the jobs available are full-time shifts. You're in your fourth year in college and you're pretty much occupied with all of the school works and activities that's why you resigned from your previous customer service job. You have no choice but to choose a job that will allow you to manage your own time. It's not like you wanted to do this out of boredom. You have to support yourself to afford your tuition fees and daily expenses. Your parents are both senior citizens so you had to work right after you turned 18.

"Product reviewer? No way, this sounds too good to be true."

One-week deadline per product.

Flexible work schedule. 

Salary offer $1000 per review.

You didn't hesitate to submit your application. You have to get this job or you won't be able to pay rent. You don't even have anything to eat for this week. You sighed at your current situation. You went to the shower room to clean up before going to bed. 

---

You woke up around 8 am, starving. You went to the kitchen to find something to eat. You were surprised to see the fridge full of actual food to eat. 

"Am I dreaming? How is the fridge full of food when it was empty last night?" You grabbed a tub of marinated beef and began cooking. 

"Fuck, when was the last time I ate meat? I've only been eating ramen and junk food lately. No wonder I feel like shit." You laughed at your own misery. You were cut off by the sound of the door opening. You don't remember inviting anyone over to your apartment. You don't have a roommate as well so you started to feel nervous. 

"Who is it?" You shouted while chewing on the meat you wrapped with lettuce. 

You turned your head around to see a man around your age wearing all black and a frown on his face. 

"Who are you?" He asked you back. 

"I asked you a question first. Why do you have a key to my apartment?" This time, you went to speak to him up close. You're near-sighted so you wanted to see him up close. 

"I'm Jay. I moved in last night. Are you my roommate?" He kept his cold expression. 

He's handsome as fuck, but cold as hell. You thought to yourself. Too bad. 

"Oh, that must be why the fridge is full this morning. Fuck, sorry I cooked the beef bulgogi just now. I will pay you back once I get paid from my job." You looked down from embarrassment. 

"That's alright." He didn't even bother to ask your name and went to his room. You didn't want to bug him about it since you still owe him a tub of beef so you just shrugged your shoulder and finished your breakfast. 

While eating, you checked on your email for updates. 

"Holy fuck." Your jaw dropped upon reading an email. It was from the company you applied to last night. You got the job, and you're starting today. 

You signed the contract immediately and submitted all the needed requirements. Your first product will arrive in the afternoon so you couldn't help but be excited while washing the dishes. 

After doing the dishes, you decided to do the laundry. You've been going braless in the apartment when you were still alone but you have a male roommate now so you can't do that anymore. You needed to wash them. 

"Fuck, I ran out of shorts as well? What have I been doing all this time to forget doing my laundry?"

You decided to wear an oversized almost see-through white shirt and black underwear. 

While you were putting your clothes in the front load washing machine, you heard him pretending to cough. 

You dropped the clothes upon hearing that and looked around to see him piercing you with his eyes staring straight at your body. 

"What do you think are you doing?" He said, raising his eyebrows. 

"I'm doing my laundry. Are you blind?" You looked to your side, afraid of meeting his eyes. 

He stood in front of you, "I'm not. In fact I'm very much pleased of what I'm seeing right now." You gulped when he touched your chin and forced you to look into his eyes. 

"What are you doing?" You're starting to get nervous, or turned on. You don't know anymore. Is it because you haven't had sex for so long now? Fuck, you know you can't have sex with your roommate. You know damn well how it would end since your ex was also your roommate before. 

"I'm making you look at my face. Ever since we met you've been avoiding my gaze." He smirked at you, turning you on even more. 

"T-that's because you look scary, dude. Geez, get your hands off me or I will punch your face so I won't have any reason to look at it." You tried to push him away only for him to corner you on the wall with his arms locking you in. 

"Don't call me that. Or I will kiss you right now." You knew he wasn't bluffing. But for some reason, you wanted to kiss him as well. So you called him that. 

"Stop playing around, dude. Can't you see I'm busy doing someth-" You were cut off by his lips on yours. It stayed still for a short moment as if he was trying to see how you would react. But when he sensed you closing your eyes, he began to move his lips along with yours.

It was a sweet and passionate kiss as if he knew you all his life. It felt so good, you couldn't help but pull his hair, making the kiss deeper. His right hand holding your face along with your jaw, his left hand holding your waist, keeping you close to his body. You could feel your core starting to get wet from the heat that you're feeling, making you rub your thighs together. Taking the hint, Jay placed his knee in the middle and closed the distance between your body. You're now grinding on his thighs, desperately looking for friction and release. 

"Are we just gonna kiss all day or are you going to fuck me?" You pulled away from the kiss and chased your breath.

"I thought you said you're busy." He smirked again. 

"Well now I'm not." You kissed him again, this time with so much lust and desire. Jay is incredibly handsome, he's tall and has a nice body as well. Normally, you don't hang out with guys like him because you know they're always into pretty girls, but you don't want to think about it for now. 

"Relax, baby. I'll get you nice and ready first." He grabbed your breasts as soon as he removed your shirt, sucking on your nipples while his right hand palming your core. 

"I guess I don't even need to. You're soaking wet already. Is this all for me, babe?" He removed your last piece of clothing and slipped two fingers inside you. 

"Fuck, Jay. Shut up already and put it in.” You can't help but moan as he slips his fingers in and out of you.

“Stop bossing me around, brat.” There was a sudden change in his aura, his fingers thrusting in and out of you now roughly. 

“Damn it, I wanna cum on your cock, please. Fuck me already.” You begged. You’re about to reach your climax under his touch. All of a sudden, he removed his fingers making you bite your lips in frustration.

“What the hell? Why did you sto-” You were cut off when he grabbed a fistful of your hair, pushing you down on your knees. He immediately removed his belt and tied your hands with it. You stared at him with your puppy eyes while waiting for him to remove his clothes.

He pumped his cock a couple of times before squeezing your cheeks, a sign for you to open your mouth. You were taken aback by the size of his cock in your tiny mouth. You can’t even touch him to support yourself, so he was holding you by your hair and fucking your mouth as he wants. 

“See, this is what your mouth is for. It’s not for you to talk back, or be a brat. This mouth is meant for my cock.” Tears pooled in your eyes as the tip of his dick hits your throat every time he would thrust. You were able to get rid of your gag reflex, thanks to your ex.

“Fuck, how are you so good at this? I fucking love your mouth. You’ve got no gag reflex? Fucking insane, ahh.” He’s growling at this point. You can tell he’s close as the veins in his dick are getting more prominent and it’s twitching inside your mouth.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” After a couple of thrusts, he came down your throat. You gladly swallowed his cum, making sure nothing goes to waste.

“Shit, brat. You better remember how I taste.” He said, untying your hands from his belt. He helped you to stand, kissing you while placing you on top of the counter. 

He took no time in aligning himself into your core. He gathered your wetness using the tip of his dick and finally pushed it in. You can definitely feel the stretch but the pleasure goes beyond the pain at this point. You were moaning softly against his ear. 

“Fuck, you feel so tight around me.” His thrust getting steady and rougher each time.

“You feel so good, Jay. I’m gonna cum.” You’re finally getting the release he denied you earlier.

“That’s right, cum on my cock.” You moaned in response. Your walls tightening around him even more, making him meet his nearing climax for the second time.

“Cum with me, Jay. Come inside me, please.” You were on birth control anyway. You were on an injectable contraceptive and it’s still in effect ‘til now. You will probably need to ask him if he’s fucking around later on but you really wanted to have his cum inside you. Hearing you beg for his cum was music to his ears. After easing you from your high with a couple of thrusts, he came right after. You felt his dick twitch inside you, his cum spreading heat in your walls. He pulled out seconds after, making his cum leak out of you.

Jay swore he took a mental image of it in his mind. You looked so hot, all fucked out because of him. You, on the other hand, waited for him to help you get off the counter.

Which he didn’t do. He put on his clothes and went straight to the bathroom to clean himself. 

“What a jerk. Did he just leave me here after all that?” You tried not to feel too disappointed. Still, it made you feel angry. He could’ve at least helped you. “I’m never having sex with you again, asshole.” You said just enough for him to hear you in the bathroom.

Author’s note: Jay’s point of view will be on the second part. He’s a gentleman pls.

[ibijau]

Oh, here's a prompt! Nie Huaisang travels back in time to ensure that Jin Guangyao stays away from the Jin sect. When he gets back, he's disturbed to find that not only is Meng Yao now his stepbrother (or has at least become a very respected disciple of the Nie sect), but is also now engaged to Lan Xichen. Cue screaming and/or fainting. But at least Minjue is still alive, right?

It was surprisingly easy to make it all happen, much to Nie Huaisang's surprise. In stories time travel was always so complicated to orchestrate, with so much to plan for... but Nie Huaisang had just done it, and it seemed to be working well.

His first stop had been to Meng Shi, shortly after the birth of her son. He could have gone back further and prevented her from ever having that son, but... but at the end of the day, he'd been impossibly fond of Meng Yao even if he'd grown to hate Jin Guangyao. The solution, then, had been to visit his mother and make sure she didn't fill her son's head with impossible dreams.

It had taken some money to get Meng Shi out of the brothel for a few days, and she'd been quite suspicious of him at first. But Nie Huaisang had been a gentleman, and she'd warmed up to him a little. She'd even given up on trying to seduce him once he'd explained that while not opposed to feminine charms on occasion, he mostly cut his sleeve. She'd acted quite sorry for him when he'd explained that actually, he'd just gotten out of a long relationship that had ended badly due to some trust issues and a the betrayal of a man they'd believed to be their friend. Meng Shi had shared a few stories as well, some her own, most her colleagues'.

By the time they'd arrived in Lanling, Nie Huaisang had become quite attached to Meng Shi, and decided he might change his plans a little, depending on what would happen in the next few days.

Meng Shi was not happy to meet other women who'd had the dubious pleasure of sharing Jin Guansghan's bed. She was even less happy to talk to them and learn that none of them, not a single one, had ever received money or attention again after he'd left them, not even those who'd had a child. One of them, the servant of a powerful family of merchants, had gone begging at the door of the Jin sect when her three years old daughter had fallen sick with something nobody understood. She'd been sent home under threats of a beating if she ever showed up again, and her daughter had died.

That had been nearly four years earlier. Jin Guangshan hadn't been sect leader yet, but he'd been his father's favourite and most spoiled son, so he would have had the power to do anything he pleased, including sending a doctor to his daughter, or having her brought into Jinlin Tai to make sure no dark spirit was attacking her. He wasn't even engaged to his wife at the time, so it was impossible to use her to excuse his lack of care. And he'd known about the child's sickness, because he'd happened to be passing by when the mother came begging for help. It was he who had ordered she be sent away, annoyed by her crying.

Meng Shi had gone paler and paler as that poor woman told her tale of sorrow, clutching her son tighter against her chest. When Nie Huaisang and her had returned to their inn, she had asked him why he'd wanted her to meet those other women.

“I just don't like what he's doing,” Nie Huaisang replied, a little embarrassed that he hadn't thought she might get curious. It was stupid of him. Meng Yao surely couldn't have gotten his brains from his father after all.

Meng Shi, sitting on her bed, rocked her infant son in her arms in silence for a moment.

“They were all weak,” she said after a while.

“Who?”

“Those other women. They were all weak.”

Nie Huaisang tensed, fearing that she might announce she was cut of another cloth, that she would persevere where they had given up, but Meng Shi only sighed and kissed her son's forehead.

“He picked them so they were young and would have no one to turn to. Servants and prostitutes and unwanted daughters... he picked us so we'd have no one to turn to when he'd abandon us, no one to defend our honour and force him to pay for the children he made us have. Women like us, it's our own fault for getting pregnant in the first place, isn't it?”

Nie Huaisang stared at her, and realised she was right. He'd been so busy collecting names, he hadn't paused to wonder if there had been a pattern to Jin Guangshan's actions.

“Are there any more you want me to meet?” Meng Shi asked.

“No, she was the last one.”

“Then I suppose we'll started heading back to Yunping City tomorrow. I'll have to make new plans for...”

“No, we're not going back,” Nie Huaisang announced, startling her. “It's too unfair if you go back, you deserve better. Both of you deserve better!”

She blinked a few times, and gave him an amused smile, still rocking her baby. She didn't believe him, of course. Nie Huaisang could hardly blame her for that. After her last experience with a cultivator...

But Meng Shi really did deserve better. Nevermind that in a future he hoped to have now prevented, he'd desecrated her body to get back at her son, this was a different thing. Meng Shi was not a bad person. He'd once thought her guilty of ambition at least, but after a couple weeks in her company, he realised she'd just been desperate for a chance to escape her lot in life. He couldn't really hate her for that, even if it had led to such tragedies after her death.

Nie Huaisang liked her now that he'd met her, and he couldn't condemn her and her son to a worse fate than what they'd have known without him.

He needed a plan.

He needed a smart plan.

He had a plan.

“So, I might have lied a little, you're going back to the brothel,” Nie Huaisang said, earning an unimpressed smirk. “But not for long! I'm going to try something but... would you be willing to lie about who sired your son?”

“Why not? At this point, the truth won't get me much.”

“Perfect. Then I'm going to warn my sect that I have fathered a child, and that I'm unable to care for it at the moment. I'll have to write to them but... but I know Nie zongzhu will immediately send for you. He'll probably ask after me, he hasn't seen me in nearly a decade, but I know he won't have forgotten his cousin Nie Xingyu, and he'll do what's right for my son and his mother.”

And there was no risk of the real Nie Xingyu ever returning to ruin that story, Nie Huaisang knew. His father's beloved cousin, who'd become a rogue cultivator after an argument with their grandfather, had actually died a year or two before Nie Mingjue was even born. A Night Hunt accident, one which Nie Huaisang had discovered by chance while investigating some of Jin Guangyao's crimes. But he remembered his father always hoped to see Nie Xingyu return, always speaking so highly of that cousin who had been almost a brother to him.

Nie Huaisang's father would be delighted to meet his cousin's son, and if “Nie Xingyu” asked for it he would buy Meng Shi's contract in a heartbeat. It would only be a matter of convincing sect leader Nie then, and Nie Huaisang wasn't worried about that. His father had kept all the letters his cousin used to send and read them to his sons, so Nie Huaisang was confident he could imitate his prose and handwriting, not to mention he too carried the Nie seal to mark that letter.

At worst, if it didn't work, Nie Huaisang could always find the money somewhere to buy that contract in person and try to find somewhere to leave Meng Shi, but he'd rather know that she and Meng Yao were safe and sound in the Unclean Realm.

Meng Shi, of course, looked unimpressed by his plan. She still thought he was lying, or trying to sell wonders like other men before him so they could share her bed for a reduced fee, or demand more of her than they'd paid for. Nie Huaisang didn't mind. If people's opinions of him mattered, he would have chosen a different way to avenge his brother, wouldn't he?

-

It took nearly a month after Nie Huaisang had brought Meng Shi back to her brother, but one morning, from the room he'd rented across the street, he saw a small group of Nie cultivators go in. His father was among them, and when they excited the building, he was carrying little Meng Yao in his arms and chatting cheerfully with Meng Shi who seemed shocked at this turn of events.

Unseen by her Nie Huaisang smiled, and went to activate the talisman that would take him back to his own time. Hopefully this would have been enough to save Nie Mingjue. And if it hadn't... well, he knew how to travel to the past now.

-

Nie Huaisang opened his eyes. He was in his room, and yet not. This was what used to be his room when he was young, before he became sect leader. A little smaller, a little more private, with a view on a small private garden where he kept his favourite birds. Hisroom, the one he'd always preferred, and had only abandoned in a desperate attempt to be the leader he'd thought his people would need. If he still lived in this room, then it meant Nie Huaisang wasn't sect leader.

Delighted by this apparent victory, Nie Huaisang sprung to his feet and rushed out of the room, only to run head first into someone.

He'd ran into that person enough times that he knew them instantly, even before seeing their face.

“Well someone is in a hurry,” Nie Mingjue said with a laugh.

A laugh.

Nie Mingjue was laughing. Nie Huaisang couldn't even remember the last time he'd heard his brother laugh like this. Not since the Sunshot Campaign, he thought.

“Your cousins haven't arrived yet,” said someone standing just a step behind Nie Mingjue, her voice also full of laughter. “You didn't oversleep, don't worry.”

It took all of Nie Huaisang's willpower to look away from his brother (Nie Mingjue, happy, laughing, healthy) but he managed it, because that other voice was a little too familiar.

It was odd to find Meng Shi in her fifties when just a few hours ago, Nie Huaisang had seen her in her early twenties. Her hair had turned grey, there were wrinkles on her face, and she had exchanged the bold colours she used to wear at the brothel for the muted tones the Nie sect favoured. It suited her. Growing old suited her, if only because she would never have had the chance, had Nie Huaisang not changed her fate.

“I think he's not quite awake yet,” Nie Mingjue teased when Nie Huaisang stared too long, poking his little brother in the shoulder. “But at least I don't have to drag him out of bed. Can I leave the rest to you, auntie?”

Meng Shi smiled, and assured him she'd make sure Nie Huaisang was ready for his cousins' arrival. Nie Mingjue thanked her and left. Nie Huaisang almost ran after him, suddenly needing to touch him, to hug him, to make sure this was real, that he had truly...

“Now it's finally you,” Meng Shi noted, earning a curious glance. “I've realised a few years ago that you looked oddly similar to the man who helped me. Too similar to simply count it as family resemblance. But until today, you didn't look quite right either.”

When Nie Huaisang could only blink at her, she laughed.

“I thought so. I've been wondering for years, but... you did something to change what was meant to happen, didn't you?”

“I did. I wanted... I needed to save certain people.”

“Your brother,” Meng Shi guessed.

Nie Huaisang nodded.

“And my son?”

He nodded again. “Where is he? Is he well? He learned cultivation, right?”

Meng Shi smiled proudly. “He's one of the best in his generation, people keep telling me. He's married now, and living with his husband, but they come visit often. They wanted me to come live with them in the Cloud Recesses, but it's too cold for me over there, and I like the friends I've made here in Qinghe, so I... is something wrong?”

Nie Huaisang nodded, then shook his head. “His husband?”

“A-Yao is married to Lan zongzhu,” she explained. “I would have preferred if he'd married a woman, but Lan zongzhu is a very good husband to him, and they always seem so very happy when they're together. It's all a mother can truly wish for, isn't it? To see her child settled and happy.”

Nie Huaisang said nothing.

He did not run back into his room, didn't hurriedly prepare some ink so he could draw another time travelling talisman and set things right. It was tempting, so tempting. But Nie Huaisang resisted that temptation, and forced himself to smile.

“I'm so happy for them,” he mumbled after a while, and hoped he would learn to mean it.

[perlukafarinn]

(ao3)

The day starts out pretty unremarkable. Dean wakes up at the crack of dawn to Cas slipping out of bed for his morning jog. He pulls him down for a good-morning kiss that turns into a make-out session that turns into them trading lazy handjobs and then falling asleep in each other’s arms again. 

Their actual start to the day is around ten AM, when Cas finally gets up for his jog and Dean gets up for his cereal and a scroll through the morning news. He’s on the look for hunts, mostly out of habit since there’s been very little monster activity since Chuck went and fucked off for good. He doesn’t find anything this morning but that’s hardly a surprise. It’s been a couple of weeks since they’ve been out on a hunt and that inactivity, weirdly enough, is starting to bother him less and less. 

Cas comes back from his jog about an hour before noon and with the mildest of prodding convinces Dean to join him in the shower. Afterwards, they throw together a lunch made from yesterday’s leftovers, taking their time eating and playing footsie under the table, because that’s apparently the kind of couple they are.

Usually by this time of day, Cas would be off in the Men of Letters’ library working on translations or cataloging and Dean would be on the phone helping Garth help out young, out-of-their depth hunters or in the garage, working on one of the beautiful but sadly neglected vehicles left behind there decades ago. 

Today, both of them are seemingly feeling kind of lazy and so hardly any work gets done. It’s not until late in the afternoon that Dean feels the urge to do something productive and suggests they go out for groceries, which Cas readily agrees to. 

The ride into town is quiet. Cas plays his mixtape - the damn thing should be worn out by now and Dean should  long since be sick of it but for reasons too sappy to mention he isn’t - and they sit and listen in comfortable silence. It’s not until they pass the town hall on their way to the supermarket that Cas gets a contemplative look on his face.

“Should we get married?”

Only years of experience behind the wheel prevent Dean’s hands from twitching wildly and veering them into oncoming traffic.

“What.”

Cas looks over, frowning. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Is there any reason for us not to get married? We’re already planning on staying together for the rest of our lives.”

“Is there any reason-” Dean wheezes. “What the fuck, Cas? Is this your idea of a proposal?”

“Are you saying no?” Cas asks, mildly curious, as if they’re talking about the fucking weather and not getting married. “Because we don’t have to.”

Dean stares ahead, tightening his grip on the steering wheel. “Are you actually asking?”

“I suppose I am.”

“You ‘suppose’,” Dean mocks. “Gee, Cas, that’s real romantic.”

“Will you marry me?”

Dean pulls over. It’s far too sudden, probably leaving tire tracks in the concrete, and the driver behind them honks his horn loudly as he passes. Dean ignores him, taking a deep breath as he finally turns to face Cas. 

“Are you sure?”

He doesn’t really have to ask - Cas wouldn’t have brought it up if he wasn’t sure - but he needs to hear it. 

Thankfully, Cas seems to get that. “I want to marry you, Dean. Do you want to marry me?”

���Son of a bitch,” Dean breathes. “I mean - yes. Yeah, I do.”

Cas nods decisively. “Alright then. Now?”

“Now?”

It’s not exactly how Dean imagined this scenario would go (not that he - shut up) but it’s somehow the most romantic fucking thing that’s ever happened to him since Cas first told him he loved him. And hey, this time no one had to die!

They turn around, since there’s no point in going in without (forged) birth certificates. Once they get to the town hall, shortly before closing, they find out that it’s a three-day mandatory waiting period between applying for a marriage license and them actually being allowed to get married.

Cas suggests they use the interim time to pick up wedding rings. They wind up spending the next day driving to Topeka, where they find a couple of silver rings in a pawn shop. They’re tarnished but otherwise in good condition and once they get home, Dean spends the rest of the evening cleaning them while trying very hard not to think about just what they’re for.

The second day, Cas spends out back tending to his garden while Dean almost dials Sam’s number repeatedly before hanging up, torn between wanting to let his brother know that he’s getting married and not wanting to jinx it.

The third day, they head back into town. They arrive at the town hall just after it opens and it’s not until they’re standing in front of the clerk that Dean realizes they don’t have any witnesses. The clerk assures him that they don’t need one for civil ceremonies and the next ten minutes pass in a blur until Dean is being prompted to place the ring on Cas’ finger.

He does so with shaking hands, stilled only once Cas places one of his own on top and gives Dean a patient smile. He’s this calm for a reason, Dean finally realizes.

This doesn’t change anything.

Married or not, they’ve already promised themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. Til death do them part doesn’t even begin to describe it, and in sickness and in health is almost laughable at this point.

This really doesn’t change anything.

Dean’s own hand is still as Cas takes his turn, sliding the silver ring upon Dean’s finger. They say their “I do”s when prompted by the clerk, exchange a short, firm kiss, and just like that it’s over.

They’re married. 

*

When Jody invites them to dinner about a week later, they still haven’t told anyone. Sam and Eileen will be there as well as Jack and the girls - it’s a regular family reunion and the perfect chance to announce the big news to everyone.

Dean has a better idea.

“Let’s not tell anyone,” he says. “At least, not before dessert. Let’s see if they notice first.”

They’re in the Impala, about half an hour away from Jody’s place. 

Cas shoots him an amused look. “Is this because Sam claimed he always knew we’d get together when we first told him we were involved?”

“No,” Dean lies. He drums his fingers on the steering wheel, seeing Cas still giving him that look from the corner of his eye. “Fine, yes. But he didn’t know, for the record. He just likes to pretend he’s always on top of this shit.”

“He doesn’t like to admit when you’ve surprised him,” Cas agrees.

The conversation ends there but Dean’s plan is apparently agreed upon since once they arrive at Jody’s, Cas doesn’t say a word about their recent relationship upgrade. Jody doesn’t seem to notice anything different, but then Dean didn’t expect her to. She’s not the one they spend most of their time around. Neither do Donna, Alex, Claire or Kaia, none of them surprises. Patience, Dean is less sure about, but she at least doesn’t say anything. Her eyes do linger unusually long but that could mean anything.

Damn psychics.

Sam and Eileen arrive half an hour after Dean and Cas, Jack in tow. This is the real test; Sam and Dean may not spend as much time together in the past few months as they did in the years before but he’s still the person who knows Dean best and would be the most likely to notice a difference.

And yet, nothing.

Dean tries not to feel too smug.

They go through dinner without anyone mentioning it. Dean makes a point of reaching across the table as many times as he can, showing off the ring glinting on his finger. Cas must notice him doing it, judging by the fond exasperation on his face, but he’s the only one.

It isn’t until dessert that Patience breaks, patience (hah) clearly run out:

“Is no one going to mention that Dean and Castiel are wearing wedding rings?”

And all hell breaks loose.

Sam is wounded - mostly over Dean and Cas not telling him before they got married, though Dean can tell some part of it is his pride at not seeing this coming - but he’s over it soon enough, once they explain that it wasn’t a big deal, not some proper ceremony, just a quick affirmation of what they already knew.

“See if I make you Best Man at my wedding after this, jerk,” Sam tells Dean.

“Your wedding?” Eileen asks pointedly. 

Jody and Donna offer their congratulations before the conversation can get awkward, and Kaia, Alex, and Patience chime in with theirs as well. Jack looks confused at the whole proceeding, finally asking whether this means there won’t be any bouquet to catch, which only means Dean has gravely failed him in his pop culture education (oh, who’s he kidding, as if half the romcoms Jack has watched didn’t come directly from the recommended tab on Dean’s Netflix account). 

Finally, with a pointed elbow from Kaia and a hangdog expression from Cas, Claire mumbles that she’s happy for them. While Dean doesn’t doubt that’s true he also knows that this is more complicated for her than the rest of them, and for the first time he kind of feels guilty about springing this news on everyone. 

It doesn’t last long, not after Donna cheerfully raises her glass and proposes a toast to the happy couple and everyone else follows suit. They chant for them to kiss and, blushing outrageously, Dean complies, leaning over to press a quick kiss against Cas’ lips. 

“So, who proposed?” Sam asks once the hooting and hollering has calmed.

“Cas did,” Dean says, slinging an arm around his husband’s - his husband’s - shoulders. “And it was the least romantic proposal of all time, you should’ve heard him.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “If I had left it up to you, we never would have gotten married.”

“He didn’t even give me time to pick out flowers,” Dean informs Sam gravely. 

“There’s always the vow renewal,” Cas says, the casual statement managing to sound like a threat, and Dean shuts up. 

The conversation moves on, the mood noticeably cheerier. As Jack and Sam launch into a story of their most recent hunt, Dean leans against Cas.

“We could have flowers, if you want,” he mutters. 

Cas smiles at him, so bright and easy that it makes Dean’s heart stutter. He takes Dean’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the cool silver of Dean’s ring.

“That’s not necessary,” he says. “I’ve got everything I want right here.”

[fairestwriting]

Hi there and Happy spring! I'm new to your blog, so I hope I'm doing this right- anyway, can I request some fluff/romantic headcanons for Malleus, Silver, Sebek, Vil, and Epel sharing their first kiss with their fem s/o on a picnic please? Thank you!

happy spring to you as well!! i hope you enjoy your stay in this blog ^_^

as a side note, i just noticed i write so much stuff set outside the pomefiore building...and the diasomnia boys have picnics around ramshackle because near their building its just. thorns.

(by the way, i have a ko-fi now, so if anyone feels like supporting my writing you can do it there!)

Malleus Draconia

You’ve known that Malleus liked outdoor dates since you two started going out like this, so you decide to surprise him with a picnic date.

It wasn’t anything too...fancy. You ask him about his favorite snacks and do your best to prepare them, then lay down an old tablecloth near the Ramshackle building, somewhere you two could see the moon well.

It’s the evening when you’re bringing Malleus to the spot you’ve picked, chirping about your surprise for him, and when you get there and tell him about your picnic plans, he’s a bit confused -- You’re nervous, thinking he might not have liked it, but then you realize he just didn’t know exactly what a picnic was.

It’s up for you to guide him through the motions. You explain to him that it’s just eating outdoors, really, usually on the ground like this. He follows you curiously as you instruct him to sit down, and you go on about the things people commonly did during them like storing the food in a basket, and the tablecloths...

“I thought you might like it, since we go for walks here so much.” You explain, nervously fidgeting with your hands a bit. Malleus hadn’t said much yet, just watched.

He’s inexpressive enough you’re afraid he really didn’t like it, so you ask him about it, but then a small smile appears on Malleus’ lips.

“I must say I’m surprised." He admits, with a tenderness in his eyes that you haven't seen before. "I'm sorry for the silence, Child of Man. I was thinking about how to thank you. But I believe I've figured it out now."

You're about to question what he means -- But then Malleus kisses you softly, your thoughts leave your mind as your eyes flutter shut.

When he pulls away, he's still smirking. Maybe he had been planning that, somehow...

Silver

After a couple of dates with Silver, you had noticed you needed to come up with more... low-energy ideas, at least for a while, because his perpetual sleepiness seemed to have gotten especially bad.

You two brainstorm a bit over lunch, when Lilia butts into your conversation and suggests a picnic -- And it's actually a good idea, especially now that the spring weather left the outdoors feeling more pleasant than usual. You two agree on meeting up next afternoon near Ramshackle for it, where maybe it wouldn't be the prettiest date spot, but you'd definitely have some time for yourselves.

Each one of you bring some snacks that you like, you arrange a tablecloth, and soon you were ready for your quaint picnic date -- Silver sits next to you over the cloth, head leaning against your shoulder, and you eat some cookies he bought while chatting idly about school.

When he falls silent in the middle of you telling a story about what one of your classmates did yesterday, you already know what to expect -- And when you turn to look at him, your suspicions are confirmed.

Silver is asleep, leaning against you cutely. You know it's not because he's bored, by now, and you planned this date so it's okay if he dozes off, so you don't mind.

But he looks so cute like this, eyes fluttered shut and expression so peaceful. You set the cookie down on the container, letting your hand pet at his silky hair for a while as you stare. He really was so pretty -- You leave a gentle kiss on his forehead, letting your fingers sort through his whiteish locks, and he stirs, eyes beginning to open.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." You tease, smiling. Silver, still a bit half asleep, looks at you with half-lidded eyes. You're just about to assure him there's no issue he's dozed off -- Then suddenly his lips are on yours in a chaste, yet slow kiss.

"Retribution for you kissing me before." He explains, voice and smile drowsy as he does so, and returns to cuddle up to you.

Sebek Zigvolt

The picnic date is a product of your and Sebek’s current situation -- You’re his first girlfriend so he doesn’t know a lot of interesting date spots, it’s been exam season lately and you’re both tired, so something easy and simple seems ideal.

Today at lunch, right after your last exam, you tell him you have a surprise for him after all his activities. Sebek gives you a lecture about how he won’t put off any of his duties to see you, but after some coaxing you get him to cut some time from his studying, since exams were already over... and he comes to see you in the evening, at the exact time you had planned.

While he had been busy, you set up the picnic for both of you, and you show off proudly the food you got, put together over the tablecloth as you tell him to sit down -- Some you bought, some you made yourself. It’s mostly simple snacks, but there’s a sparkle in Sebek’s eyes.

You tell him it’ll be like a celebratory dinner for getting through such a difficult period in your school lives, and he’s actually quite excited for it. You sit down together and begin to eat, you listen to him talk about his day, everything is pretty sweet.

Pulling out some nice glasses you’d found stashed away at the Ramshackle attic, you suggest to Sebek that you have a celebratory toast, Sebek likes the idea, and you pour some juice for yourselves in it.

You two toast to your success in your exams cheerfully, he’s smiling quite brightly, happy to know that you’re proud of his efforts too -- As you sip your juice, you notice his face grows pink, you ask him what’s up. There’s a pause.

“...can I kiss you?” He asks, blurting out the question. You blink in surprise, blushing too, but you nod. Sebek blushes a bit more, he tentatively reaches forward... and his lips are on yours, all sweet and gentle. He smiles at you when he pulls away, happy to have had his first kiss with you -- Then you probably spill the forgotten juice on yourselves.

Vil Schoenheit

Isn’t really outdoorsy, so a picnic date isn’t the first romantic outing to come to his mind -- But when you two are taking a stroll on the woods close to Pomefiore and you mention how nice it’d be to have a picnic there, he gets the idea.

Vil liked surprising you like this, putting together all sorts of different dates to impress you, so he takes a couple days to make sure everything’s arranged nicely. He picks a nice spot on a flowering field, fills the basket with your favorite food, and on a Saturday morning, he comes to your dorm to tell you to wear your best sundress, you two are going on a picnic date.

You set up the picnic and eat together like any other meal you’d share, Vil points out the recipe for his favorite food items and fusses over you when you get breadcrumbs on your cheeks. The weather is nice, the sky is a bright blue, everything is so pleasant and you’re here, smile brighter than the sun itself.

He didn’t really bring you here with any second thoughts in mind but when you two are sharing a place of apple slices and you look around at the flowers with this dreamy look in your eyes, your beauty is so blinding to him, and he can’t help but remember he hadn’t kissed you just yet. Well, that just wouldn’t do.

“You’ve got something of mine on you,” He mutters, scooting closer, and during the second that you’re confused, about to ask what it was, Vil holds your chin delicately, tilting your face up as he steals a kiss from you.

Epel Felmier

Epel had been nervous since you two started going on dates, he really liked you and he wanted to do this right! So, lately he's been looking for good date ideas to impress you, and a picnic comes up.

He makes it a surprise! Tells you on Friday, fidgeting with his hands, that he wanted to meet up with you on the garden near the Pomefiore building tomorrow morning. When you get there, after some walking around the flowering bushes, you find Epel standing next to the little picnic setup, awkward but excited smile on his face.

It's a very classic setup -- The straw basket, the red checkered tablecloth. Epel actually has a sort of sappy, cliché romantic side to him. He announces the surprise, opening the basket to show you the food he's arranged for you two, mostly apple based snacks and some bread from the cafeteria. It's all so simple but so earnest you can't help but smile.

You two hang out like usual, chatting the pretty morning away, though it's visible in Epel's sudden cheerfulness that he's trying to impress you, and he feels as though he's succeeding, proud at himself for making his cute girlfriend happy.

"A-Ah, can I feed the cake to you?" He asks when he sees you've picked it up from the basket, and you decide to humor him. His eyes sparkle. You hand him the tupperware and the fork, and he takes a piece off the slice with it. "Say ah!"

You follow his suggestion, letting him feed you the piece of cake. You're a few forkfuls in now, all chuckles and content smiles as you chew your food, when his previously peppy expression falters a bit, and you see his face growing more red -- Well, he had been mostly just hyped about this, and being a good boyfriend, and all, but... he's taken off guard by how cute you can be.

You ask him what's wrong when he's setting the tupperware down, blushing like crazy, and he acts on impulse -- Even in all his clumsiness, Epel cups your face and surprises you with a kiss that lasts a while.

"What was that about?" You'll question, breathless and flustered, and he just mumbles, embarrassed, that you were acting too cute for him to handle, before quickly and excitedly asking to do it again.

[bwbatta]

six - confessions

Abstract: Draco and you are just friends so doing him a favour and pretending to be his girlfriend wouldn’t effect your friendship right?

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Warnings: Swearing, slight angst

Word count: 2960

A/N: I’ve been waiting for this one, turn it upp! ...I won’t lie, i’ve been putting off writing this purely because I don’t want to stop writing this. Anyway, the final part is finally here and I’m so happy to be sharing it with you all! 

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Part 5

Draco signed his name quickly and looked back at the letter he’d written. It was simple enough to get his point across, yet the repercussions from sending this could be huge. 

The blonde heir was adamant though. If this is what it took, then he would gladly accept whatever consequences came his way. He could figure it out, he always did. 

Taking a breath in to help stabilise his thoughts and nerves, he quickly put his quill down before he wrote anything else that wasn’t needed. Reading it through once more, he made sure his words were enough for now. 

Father,

I apologise for not responding sooner to your previous letter, I was at a loss for a while as to what to write.

I understand our family values and as much as I uphold them for our family’s benefit, my relationship or any of my relationships are my choice. Whilst she is not pureblood, she is not muggleborn either and both of her parents have magic, which is why I ask you to at the very least consider giving Y/N a chance.

With respect, I will not determine my relationship on your opinions, especially since you haven’t met her.

You understand there aren’t many things I would go against you on, but this is something I feel particularly strongly about. 

Regards, 

Draco

Nodding his head, he quickly folded the letter and attached it to his family’s owl. With a screech, the bird took off. 

All Draco could do now was wait.

“Please?! You’re the best person at charms that I know, you would be my favourite person on earth?!”

“Blaise-”

“Y/N please, Flitwick might push for me to be kicked out of Hogwarts if I don’t pass this test”

You snorted unattractively as you walked down the corridor, arms riddled with books. On your way to the Herbology greenhouses for your afternoon lesson, you were blitzed by Blaise who had been trying to convince you for the last five minutes to help him write his essay which was due in a couple days time. 

Blaise and you had nearly made it into the greenhouses when Professor Sprout stopped him at the door.

“You’re not in my class today Mr Zabini, I suggest you get heading towards your own class before you’re late.”

The elder witch gave him a stern look to which he smiled at, trying to lower her strict exterior. 

“I just need to talk to Y/N about something really important really quickly, Professor. It’ll only take a minute?”

“No” she rolled her eyes at the boy, “you can do that in your own time.”

“But, Professor-”

“No buts Zabini-”

“Alright Blaise, I’ll do it” you finally caved, seeing as the boy would most likely be reduced to ash from Sprout’s harsh stare otherwise. 

“Astronomy tower, 8pm?”

“Wait-”

“Okay bye!”

Without another word he turned and rushed off back inside the castle, heading to whatever his next lesson was, leaving you partially annoyed, partially awkward at the look Sprout was now sending you.

“Inside” she cocked her head towards the doorway and with a defeated look you headed into the greenhouse. 

You hadn’t been back to the Astronomy tower, despite classes, since that fight between Draco and you and you weren’t too keen on returning. Blaise however, had given you no choice in the matter as you probably wouldn’t see him until that time you’d agreed to meet. This meant you’d have to suck up your anxieties about the tower and get over yourself. 

If only it were that easy.

Your free period was rather quiet today you reckoned but you couldn’t put your finger on why it was so quiet? 

The twins weren’t around and neither were Harry and Ron, yet that was normal since you were studying in the library with Hermione. Though Hermione didn’t really talk much when you two studied, something still felt off.

Not to mention the other thing which was bothering you was how Blaise acted earlier? He was normally the most relaxed person you knew, but his earlier rushed and fretted actions also seemed wrong.

You snorted at the thought in your head; imagine if he was trying to set you back up with Draco at the astronomy tower later?!

Another sigh left your lips as you continued to try and figure out what else felt off. Hermione’s eyes darted from the essay she was writing to you sat opposite her. 

“Is there something bothering you?”

You met her stare awkwardly and shrugged slightly. 

“I don’t know, does something feel off to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s too quiet, you know? I can’t put my finger on what it is though.”

“Maybe it’s because that blonde tumour isn't attached to your side anymore?!” Hermione snorted as she turned back to her work, leaving you staring at her with an unreadable expression. 

Ignoring the remark of how the witch had described Draco, she was right in the way that he did used to surprise you while you were studying. 

Was that it? You were missing him being near you?

You hadn’t really spoken to the Malfoy, only small comments in class when you were next to each other but apart from that, he wasn’t constantly next to you anymore and that bothered you. 

You had to admit you did like fake dating Draco, but that was over, it was a joke, a favour, nothing more. So why the hell would you accept anything to go back to him annoying you, him being at your side constantly, or his arm around you 90% of the time?

Then you froze.

You knew exactly why.

Holy shit, you loved him. Like actually loved him. 

Slowly starting to freak yourself out, you sat back in your chair as your mind whirred around that fact. 

He’s Draco. 

He’s one of your best friends and now everything was so messed up because he’s Draco.

Stubborn, bratty, arrogant Draco.

Who likes Draco?!

And then it hits you again. You do, you really really do. 

Because he’s Draco.

Because he cares about you and would do anything for you. Just like you’d do anything for him. He might be stubborn, but so are you. He might be bratty and spoilt because of his parents, but he actively spoils you just because he can. And he might be arrogant to everyone else, but you know how humble he could be and acts around you. His reaction after you opened your Christmas present proved that enough. 

Holy shit. 

These feelings are going to ruin whatever’s between you, friendship or not, because how the hell could you keep this to yourself? How the hell could you not tell him you loved him?

The only thing was... you were the second person to ask yourself that today. 

Draco paced in the tower, a letter held tightly in his hand as he waited for you to show up. Guaranteed it wasn't 8pm yet, but he was still so anxious for when you did actually turn up. Were you going to turn up?

A lot of things had flown through his mind today, some putting him on edge as to whether his plan to get you back would work, yet nothing had made him as anxious as when the letter arrived from his father earlier that day.

It was slightly wrinkled now from how much he had fiddled with it in his hands and with a frown, Draco tucked it back into his pocket, forcing himself to take a long breath as he did so and run his hands nervously through his hair.

Not even a moment passed before he heard the door below slam shut and your footsteps approach. A brief flash of panic flew through his body like he’d been electrocuted, what if this was a bad idea? What if you didn’t want him like he wanted you and he would just look like a complete idiot?

All the thoughts in his head however vanished as soon as you reached the top step and your eyes locked on his. 

Neither of you said anything at first and the silence was almost deafening.

“Fucking Blaise,” you rolled your eyes at yourself. “Earlier I bet myself he’d do something like this.”

“It was actually my idea”

“...I see” 

“Surprised?” 

You snorted

“No.” You hid your grin at the look of offence present on his face, “I knew one of you would come up with something like this. I had my money on Blaise as he was the one I spoke to earlier. Despite how much you love being mysterious and complicated Draco, you’re like an open book to me.”

The wizard let out a snort, he had a feeling she would figure something was up. They really did know each other well.

The silence stilted in the air again and felt heavy despite the fresh air surrounding them. 

You looked down, avoiding the blue eyes that watched you. Despite being in love with him, you had no idea what to actually say to him. Luckily he took the lead.

“It was really stupid.”

You frowned, before you forced yourself to glance towards him, eyes catching on how he was looking at you.

“What was?”

“The fact we thought we could pretend and fake an entire relationship with no consequences.”

You didn’t say anything. 

“I mean let’s be honest,” Draco scoffed a laugh, “we really thought that everything would go back to how it was before? That was stupid. Also the fact that the whole ‘having a fake girlfriend’ thing wasn’t really working for me.”

He paused to assess your reaction for a moment before continuing on. 

“We were great as a fake couple, sure. We were also great at being friends, I mean... that was before I kissed you and fell in love with you.”

Your breath caught in your throat at the confession. A smile grew faintly on his face as he took in your reaction. After realising you weren’t going to bolt, he took a couple steps closer until he stood right before you, his toes almost touching your own. 

“This whole fake dating thing was so stupid in so many ways except for one; how it made me realise how much I genuinely want to be your boyfriend.”

Draco shrugged sightly like it was no big deal, but inside he had to remind his lungs to work.

Why hadn’t you said anything yet? Maybe because he can’t stop his mouth from talking? Should he stop talking? His mouth opened again before he could stop himself.

“I want you. I want us. But I want it for real, not some half-assed, pathetic excuse of relationship which is all just an act and makes us question where we stand with each other.” 

His voice lowered to a whisper but you heard him perfectly. 

“Draco... I want nothing more than to be with you.”

“You do?”

“Yes, but I can’t help the fact that I’m not a pureblood and your parents won’t accept me-”

“Wait, okay, hold on.”

Digging his hand into his pocket, he fished out the crumpled letter and attempted to flatten it out slightly. 

“I sent my father a letter in response the one you read the other day and I got this back earlier today. Just... just read it.”

He held the letter out at you with such a serious expression causing you to frown, you took it from him wondering what was in it. Opening the parchment, your eyes immediately flicked back to the blonde once more, only to find him watching your every movement.

“Draco,

I don’t believe you understand the seriousness of what you’re asking from your mother and I. You have a duty to this family to uphold and despite the notion that you wouldn’t disobey me with much, this is still a vital factor of those duties.

Nevertheless, you expressed your seriousness for this girl, coupled with your mother’s bickering about at least meeting her, I will give you one chance. We will meet her if she values the seriousness and significance of our values. If she does not however, then you will end whatever you have with her. 

You understand in the near future, things will change. You need to be as prepared as possible.

Regards,

Lucius Malfoy”

You read the letter once through, then twice, then once more. Your mind was in a flurry at the words, taking them in and the weight they held. Draco’s parents had agreed to give you a chance, however it came with a price and one you were in two minds about taking. 

On one hand, you could be with Draco and support him through whatever hell was coming your way, as long as you abided by their blood purity mania, which, if Harry was right, meant Voldemort. On the other hand, it meant not having the Malfoy boy in your life.

Your eyes finally left the words and flicked back up to meet Draco’s own. His expression was unreadable as he waited for your reaction.

“Well, that’s intense”

“You can’t really expect anything less from my father.”

“I gathered that.”

Your eyes landed on the elder Malfoy’s name once more and you bit your lip slightly. 

“I said once I would be willing to get mixed up in this for you, and I stand by it, Draco. I don’t know whatever's going to happen in the future but I know I want you by my side through it.”

“I can’t ask you to do that-“

“You’re not asking me, I’m telling you I want you and I’ll do whatever it takes to be at your side.”

“Y/N-”

“Draco, I love you, let me do this for you. I can play whoever your parents want me to be.”

Draco didn’t say anything more but stared at you with a half smile on his face. Your eyebrows knitted together as you caught sight of it, not really sure where the expression came from. Talking about faking your views on blood purity and Voldemort wasn’t really a cause for smiling.

“What?”

“Say it again?”

“Say what again?”

“You love me.”

You realised then. You’d told him you loved him in amidst all that but you hadn't even realised it. Well, that’s one way to admit it. 

“I love you,” you said with no hesitation as a smile grew on your own face. “I want you, for real. No fake relationship, just us.”

As quick as you’d finished speaking, Draco’s lips were on yours. It was chaotic, unscripted and messy, but it was real. 

Your hands slid to the back of his head, fingers burying themselves in his hair as his hands gripped your waist tightly, pressing you to him. He kissed you with such passion you swore your heart stopped for a split second.

How the hell had you both faked this for so long?!

Taking a break, he pulled away but rested his forehead on yours, not wanting too much distance. 

“If you’re all in Y/N, so am I. I’ll protect you with my life, you may’ve been my friend first, but you’re everything to me now.”

His lips pressed against yours again, much softer this time like he was trying to memorise and convince himself you were really there. That this was really happening.

“Draco Malfoy, I’m all in.”

You were surprised the next day for two reasons.

One; for how many people had actually bet on Draco’s and your relationship. George got his five galleons back from Fred again after the news reached them. He happily took the money from his brother before lifting his glass to you from across the hall in thanks. 

Both Crabbe and Goyle owed Blaise 10 galleons, though you supposed he had an unfair advantage, (not that you’d tell the duo). 

But the second thing which surprised you was the letter you received at lunch from the headmaster himself. 

Dumbledore had barely even looked in your direction, let alone spoken to you personally, so the note you got from him asking to meet him in his office later spiked your anxiety. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Hermione shrugged before lowering her voice to a whisper. “It’s probably something to do with the DA or Umbridge.”

“Hermione, I didn’t even think he knew I existed, now he’s asking me to come have a chat?”

“Just go, you’ll never know otherwise and you’ll keep fretting.”

The rest of your day passed quickly and you found yourself before the headmaster’s office later that evening. Taking another quick look at the note in your hand, scribbled at the bottom was a comment about him liking sherbet lemons which stuck out to you.

“Sherbet lemons?”

The gargoyle surprised you by jumping out the way, opening up the staircase to you. Without another thought, you climbed the stairs and knocked on the wooden door. 

“Come in.”

Pushing the door open, Dumbledore turned to face you as you entered the room. With a smile, he greeted you and offered you the seat opposite him as he took his own.

Sitting, your knee started to bounce while your anxiety kicked in wondering what the hell was going on. 

“Y/N- can I call you Y/N? Relax, you’re not in any trouble at all, don’t worry.”

“Can I ask then, why am I here sir?”

“Well, I actually have a job for you if you’re interested? I understand you’re in a unique position where you’re willing to do anything possible to be with the young Mr Malfoy.”

You immediately frowned, how the hell did he know that?!

“What kind of job?”

“A job to join the Order of the Phoenix. I want you to act as a spy for me within Voldemort’s ranks.”

[kuroopaisen]

heart attack || bokuto koutarou

➵ your hot roommate likes to walk around without his shirt on. 

wc: 2.8k

warnings: implied f!reader, swearing, pure chaos

a/n: @stelleum jac darling, happy birthday! i tried writing you shipfic but i chickened out and wrote this instead (mayhaps i’ll finish the bkak fic one day, but for now it will sit in my drafts hh). i’ve already wished you a happy birthday so i won’t write you an essay here (although i’m fully capable of it), but i love you, and i’m so grateful to be counted amongst your friends. you bring such light and laughter with you, and i honestly feel like i’ve learnt a lot from being your friend. i hope you find this fic delightfully chaotic (just like you), and that it manages to make you smile a little -- you deserve nothing less (also big shout out to remy and ren for reading over this disaster fdsljk)

“he’s doing it again.”

“huh?” oikawa’s voice crackles from the other end of the phone.

“he’s walking around the house shirtless.”

it takes oikawa a few seconds to catch up. “oh, right. your hot roommate.”

you two have had this conversation many a time over the past two weeks. you’d quickly surmised that bokuto koutarou would be the death of you. probably by heart attack. oikawa had found that idea stupid.

“what do i do?” you ask, chewing on your lip.

“you could always ask him out.”

you scoff at the absolute certainty in his voice. “how dare you assume i wouldn’t shrivel up and die if i so much as attempted that?”

you don’t need to see your best friend to know he’s rolling his eyes at you. “why would you shrivel up and die?”

“what if he says no?”

“he’s not going to say no.”

“but he could.”

“you’re hot, it’ll be fine.”

“but you haven’t seen him, tooru,” you huff, waving off his assurances like they’re nothing. “pictures don’t do him justice.”

“i can’t believe you’re an adult…” oikawa sighs.

“you’re one to talk.”

“at least i can talk to people i find attractive,” he grumbles.

“he’s going to be a professional volleyball player,” you stress. “you know what they’re built like.”

“you were friends with us all throughout high school, and yet i don’t remember you ever talking about any of us like this.”

“the only one of you worth talking about is iwaizumi.”

a moment of silence. “that’s fair.”

“anyway, that’s all besides the point,” you grumble.

“do the other guys know about this?” he asks. you don’t like the playfulness in his voice.

“as a matter of fact, they don’t.”

“why not?”

“if i told them, they’d meddle,” you stress. “directly.”

“you can’t stop me from telling them.” you can tell from his voice that he’s grinning.

“i’ll block your number and never speak to you again.”

oikawa doesn’t need time to decide that it’s a viable and realistic threat.

“wait, are you hiding in your room again?” he asks.

“duh.” you roll your eyes. “i wouldn’t be talking about this in the living room, would i?”

---

meanwhile, bokuto’s sitting on the couch, quite shirtless as he twiddles his thumbs.

when kuroo had first told him that the best way to win his roommate’s heart was to ‘just walk around shirtless,’ bokuto had been a bit doubtful.

of course, kuroo hadn’t won the heart of his partner by walking around shirtless, but boukto was loath to completely disregard his friend’s advice. he does, after all, have a partner, so perhaps following his advice isn’t the worst idea.

but you’d scurried into your room almost immediately upon catching sight of him, and bokuto fears that he’s frightened you.

he likes to consider you friends. sometimes you’ll watch movies with him -- on occasion, you’ll even commit to a full anime series (even though he needs you to explain what’s actually going on half the time) -- and there’s a certain ease of conversation between the two of you. in his mind, it’s only natural that he should develop a little bit of a crush. 

unfortunately that line of common sense didn’t follow through to the next step of actually asking you out. 

---

your sheer embarrassment goes head-to-head with your insatiable hunger and loses.

you peek through a crack in your door, trying to ensure that the hallway was clear. perhaps you could survive seeing him in the front room, but an encounter in your cramped little hallway was bound to end in humiliation.

you manage to skitter into the kitchen quietly, every one of your senses on high alert for the enemy (see: bokuto koutarou’s god-like body). 

you spy the back of his head on the couch from your new vantage point. if you’re quiet enough, chances are he won’t notice that you’re in the kitchen. if the universe really gave a damn about you, then it would let you be invisible for a few seconds. 

“hey!” bokuto calls from the couch, holding a hand up.

“hey,” you mumble as you make an active effort not to look at him. damn him and his masterfully sculpted biceps. they’re almost enough to make iwaizumi jealous. almost.

you dash over to your pantry, opening it up and rifling through a couple shelves. you don’t have the mental or emotional fortitude to stand around and cook a proper meal right now, so the next best thing is instant ramen.

“whatcha looking for?”

you almost shed your skin in fright.

there’s a warmth hovering over you, and you’re far too aware of what it is.

“something to eat.” you can only hope that those words came out legibly.

“oh, yeah, there’s not really much,” he shrugs, tilting his head at you.

you’re still not looking at him. has he done something wrong?

“ah,” is all you can muster in response.

“did you want to order in?” bokuto asks, a certain lightness to his voice. it’s similar to the tone he uses when he wants to pick what you guys watch on a saturday night.

“uh—” oh no. “i—i don’t—um—”

what are you trying to say? you don’t know. bokuto has no chance of deciphering it.

but, he simply beams at you. “i’ll pay!”

sure, he has more money in his bank than you could ever dream of having – damn professional athletes and their egregious pay checks – but you still don’t want him to pay for you.  

“it’s okay,” you manage to say, holding up a hand to wave it off. 

you don’t expect him to take said hand. 

“please, let me treat you,” he grins. “as a thanks for helping me out with the bills last week.”

ah. that’s right. bokuto may be a sports star in the making, but he’s horribly lacking in the common sense most people rely on to make it through the day. 

“okay.” 

it’s very hard to say no to him when he’s looking at you like that, with his golden eyes all big and round and his fluffy hair falling around his face. damn him. 

you let him fiddle away with one of the delivery apps – you admittedly aren’t paying much attention to what he’s ordering – and entertain yourself with the bare walls of your kitchen. 

maybe you could sneak back to your room until dinner came? 

“how was your day?” bokuto asks brightly, effectively trapping you in a conversation. 

shit. 

“uh– fine?” you swallow. “my lectures felt like they wouldn’t end, but i survived.” 

“good thing you did,” he beams, tilting his head at you. 

you blush, trying to ignore just how handsome he is. “how was practice?” 

sure, you want to turn your tail and run, but you really don’t want to hurt his feelings. 

“it was good!” he grins. “tsum-tsum’s been less annoyed with me recently!”

“oh, that’s great!” you mean it. from what you’ve heard about his team, this ‘tsum-tsum’ seems like he’s the sort of person who’s hard to keep up with. 

“he almost gave me a compliment today,” bokuto said, voice brimming with pride. 

“really?” ‘tsum-tsum’ doesn’t seem like the type to give compliments, but bokuto always has a way of seeing the best in things. 

“yeah! he said my cross-court shot wasn’t half-bad!” 

you’re not quite sure if that counts as a compliment, but you won’t pop his bubble. 

“and omi didn’t flinch as much when i patted him on the back, either,” bokuto nods. 

“do you still use that hand sanitiser i gave you?” it had been a mindless little gift, one you’d bought after finding out he works with a germaphobe, but you are curious nonetheless. 

“of course!” bokuto nods enthusiastically. “it’s my lucky charm.” 

your breath catches in your throat. does he not understand what saying something like that could do to a person? especially when it’s coming from the world’s best himbo? what are you even supposed to say to that?

for the first time today, the universe takes pity on you. 

there’s a loud knock on the door. 

bokuto perks up. “i’ll get it!” 

“wait!” you call out instinctively.

bokuto pouts at you over his shoulder, frozen mid-stride.

“you’re shirtless.”

bokuto blinks at you for a moment. “is that a problem?”

three more brain cells stop fighting the good fight and perish. “no?” you frown. “yes?” he’s staring at you. “maybe?”

he’s still staring, a unique concoction of confusion, earnestness and disappointment in his eyes.

“it’s… a lot,” is all you manage to sew together.

“a lot?”

“you’re… a lot.”

“i’m a lot?” bokuto looks like he doesn’t know whether he should be upset by that statement or not.

“yes… muscles.” it’s official. you want to die. there’s no coming back from this.

bokuto glances down at his chest for a moment, a perplexed expression on his face. well, he is beefier than most, and none of his teammates are quite as built…

“just let me get it,” you breathe, well-aware of just how red your face is. after what is bound to be a horribly awkward dinner, you’d need to hop online and look for a new place to live.

you take a deep breath as you open the door, hoping, praying that this exchange, at least, would go smoothly.

you freeze as you look at the delivery boy’s face.

no way.

“holy shit,” makki grins, eyes crinkled and red cap slightly askew.

“no.” this is the last thing you need right now.

“this is where you live?” he asks, trying to pop his head through the doorway.

“uh—” you push him back instinctively, mustering up all your strength to budge the headstrong six foot asshole currently trying to force his way into your apartment.

he freezes, and you know the worst has happened.

“is that your roommate?” he asks, taking a step back with an infuriating grin on his face. “or are you getting some?”

“oh my god makki, i’m going to—”

“do you know this guy?” bokuto’s suddenly behind you, hands clasped behind his back and head tilted to the side.

“unfortunately,” you mumble, trying to keep your expression as neutral as possible. if makki catches even a hint of weakness, he’d press at it relentlessly.

you look him up and down, frowning. “i thought you were working at a tech shop or something.”

he shrugs. “i lied.”

“why?”

“i dunno,” he says, as if lying about your part-time job is the most casual thing in the world. “it sounded more impressive than ‘delivery boy’.”

it’s not like you expected any more from him, but even this feels a little strange.

bokuto’s stomach grumbles from behind you. you remember that he’s right there – and makki’s staring at him.

“why is he shirtless?” makki tilts his head to the side. “who is he?”

“my roommate,” you admit through your teeth.

makki stares at him for a few seconds more, a smirk spreading across his face. “is this why you won’t let us come over to your apartment?”

change of plans. time to pencil in a murder for seven o’clock. after your scheduled self-implosion, which is bound to happen any moment now.

“give me my food.”

“not until you answer my question,” makki grins, holding the takeout bag above your head. damn him and his height.

you glare at him, fists clenched at your sides. “i won’t hesitate and you know it.”

the threat of a knee to the balls is usually enough to make any man quiver. but not makki.

“really?” he smirks. “in front of your hot roommate?”

“i’m going to kill you—”

“i can’t believe you’ve been keeping him from us,” makki tsks, holding out a hand to bokuto. “nice to meet you. i’m a friend from high school.”

bokuto shakes his hand tentatively, a bit behind on exactly what’s going on here.

“and you are?” maki asks, a disgustingly sweet smile on his face.

“bokuto.”

“nice,” makki nods, looking him up and down. you know this will be immediately reported in the group chat. you’re never going to live this down. and, makki now knows where you live. you expect that you’re going to get some unwanted visitors very, very soon.

“get out of here,” you grumble, taking full advantage of makki’s distracted gaze and grabbing the bag out of his hand.

“hey!”

“have a nice night!” you call, pushing him out of your doorway with one hand. “i’ll leave you a bad review!”

“no, don’t—”

the door slams in his face, and you feel like you can breathe properly for the first time in the past ten minutes.

that is until you remember that bokuto’s standing right behind you. 

“should we eat?” he asks, a little too close to your ear than you would like. 

you flinch, taking a step forward. your nose presses against your front door and you curse every conceivable deity that comes to mind. 

“yes,” you nod, lightly banging your head on the door. perhaps it’s what you deserve. 

“okay,” bokuto says slowly, as if he’s not sure about what to do next. “i’ll get some plates.” 

you take a moment to catch your breath. all you have to do is make it through, what? the next twenty minutes? surely you could manage that. surely. 

bokuto’s already over by the couch, two plates in hand, and still very, very shirtless. that’s the reason everything’s gone tits up today. because he wouldn’t constrain his pectorals behind a thin wall of blended cotton. 

but you sit yourself down on the couch after unpacking your food on the coffee table. you sit yourself down on the couch, unsure if you can find the strength to start eating. 

bokuto plops himself down next to you. it’s almost like he’s vibrating with excitement. why does he have to be so damn hot and cute?

the two of you sit on the couch in total silence. 

bokuto stares at you. you make a pointed effort to look anywhere that isn’t him. 

“are you okay?” he asks, a genuine pout on his face. 

“can you… can you put a shirt on?” it feels a bit like an admission, or some kind of surrender, but this has gone on too long. 

“oh, okay.” bokuto hops up, watching you for a moment before dashing off. 

once he’s out of sight, you sigh, resting your head in your hands. what is going on? when you’d gotten back from university, you hadn’t expected the day to go like this. 

bokuto reappears out the corner of your eye, now modestly covered with a white shirt. it’s almost worse, honestly – the shirt really compliments his tan. 

“are you okay!?” his voice pitches as he moves towards you, placing a hand on your back. 

you flinch, dropping your hands from your face and closing your eyes. “yeah, i just…” honestly it feels a bit like you’re in purgatory. but that might sound a little dark. “it’s just been a weird night.” 

“i’m sorry.” you can’t see bokuto’s frown, but you hear it in his voice. 

you finally brave a proper look at him. somehow, his hair looks more deflated than usual. 

“i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable,” he specifies, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“uh–” you swallow roughly, unsure of where to go with this. “thanks? i guess?” 

bokuto pouts at you, his gaze flicking down to the floor. “i was just trying to impress you.” 

every single thought skids to a stop. what? what? he was walking around shirtless because he was trying to impress you? well, it worked, but he probably didn’t expect it to leave you speechless. 

“you… were trying to impress me?” the words feel strange coming from your mouth, but you manage to meet his eyes. 

“yeah,” he nods, his own cheeks darkening. it’s nice to know that the embarrassment isn’t one-sided. “my friend told me it was the best way to win you over.”

whoever this friend is, you intend to have a very stern word with them.

“you could just… ask me out,” you blink at him, unsure of how to proceed. 

“i could?”

“yeah?”

“would you have said yes?”

“i–” you clear your throat, breaking eye contact. “i guess?”

“so… that’s a yes?”

“yes?” 

bokuto stares at you, cheeks even redder than before and mouth slightly agape. 

“what?” you stare back at him. is he broken? has his brain finally given up too? 

“do you wanna go on a date?”

“i–” it’s your turn to have your mouth hang slightly agape. 

“please?” he asks, eyes going round and sad. 

“sure,” you blink. you? bokuto? a date? when? how? what–

“woo-hoo!” bokuto cheers, pumping his fists in the air. “alright!” 

oh man, this boy is definitely going to be the death of you. probably by heart attack. but, maybe that’s not the worst fate. 

[circethegoblin]

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

sign up in your local library. its free