#I just made up a random reason/context afterwards for her having her hand up like that anime style

[thefanficmonster]

You Never Notice

Sykkuno x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Summary: The center of someone’s world is never aware of their importance even when everyone else is in the know. People are hard to understand, no denying, but if we all spilled our truth like how Y/N admitted her feelings to Sykkuno, mutual understanding would be achieved a lot more easily. JK, she needed an eternity and maybe a thousand pushes. What’s important is the result though, right?

Requested by Anon. You are my first Sykkuno request and I wish I could thank you with a tag. Instead, I’m gonna thank you with a fic in which I put my all. Thank you for the request, hope the final product doesn’t let you down. 🥰

Here we go again. Sykkuno’s love life is brought up. This time it’s more frustrating cause I can’t shout how wrong he is about himself and the effect he has on the people around him. He has no room to speak, he hasn’t experienced what I have - one of your best friends living in your head rent-free because you’re just that whipped by them. That’s right kids, some of us never grow past the middle school crushes - they are a constant for some. That can be a good or a bad thing, it completely depends on how you view it.

Currently, him and Rae are addressing some dating rumors that started spreading about them earlier this week while Felix, Sean and I are kicking each other’s butts in Party Animals. We’re not all playing together, actually, we were all playing different games when we hopped into the call and just grouped together after playing solo got boring. Rae and Sykkuno are playing Among Us on a random server, her being the only person who’s streaming right now. She said she just wanted to clear up the dating rumors cause they were annoying to see popping up on her feed on every social media platform she’s active on.

“It’s ridiculous, really. People just look for online personalities to put in imaginary relationships. Are they that bored? I know quarantine is getting to everyone, but damn“ Rae says, laughing a bit to take the edge off her words but I know she’s bothered by this ordeal more than she’s letting on. I know how much it bothers her when people ship random youtubers and streamers together, even when she’s not involved. 

And I agree. Ever since I started streaming I’ve been shipped with my friends left and right. First Corpse, then Dave, Joel...you name them. It gets kinda gross cause these people are legit like siblings to me. Unlike Rae, though, I don’t waste my breath trying to clear those ‘talks of the net’ up. I don’t know if it’s for better of for worse that I remain silent on the issue when I’m involved but am willing to stand up for my friends when they find themselves in a similar situation. Some people think the reason I don’t share my thoughts is because the rumors are true, but the hint is most often taken, resulting in the ship ending. Well, that ship ending, there’s always a new one popping up. As Rae said, it’s ridiculous.

“Why does everyone think I am ever dating anyone? I’ve already commented on this: no one would date me.“ Sykkuno says through a sigh-like laugh.

“Why are you so sure?“ I blurt out without as much as a second thought

My eyes widen just a bit, just a bit. I’m not too surprised with myself. I am slowly losing control of my raging emotions and I’m afraid of what I’ll turn into when all my restraints snap. A mess, that’s the most likely answer.

“Well....“ Sykkuno trails off, clearly more than a little nervous, “I don’t have a girlfriend right now, and I haven’t had one in a while...Nor has a girl shown any interest to be more than friends with me in what feels like forever.“

“I’m sure you just don’t notice the hints girls drop. We can be pretty subtle.“ I try to sound as nonchalant as possible while I’m still in my panicked animal mode. And by animal I mean a cub. A scared cub that is now showing confidence but will run and hide right afterwards. I silently thank the universe that I’m not streaming right now. I can feel the heat on my neck and cheeks which is pure embarrassment and would have been more than evident on-camera.

“Yeah Y/N’s right, Sykkuno. Girls can be very subtle, but they will always let you know if they like you, even through the smallest of gestures. You gotta keep your eyes open.“ Rae backs me up reassuringly.

“Guys never notice anything.“ I say, rolling my eyes. I feel the pressure lessen thanks to Rae’s involvement in the conversation.

“That’s not true.“ Sean protests, “We pay close attention, especially to girls we are attracted to.“

“Yeah!“ Sykkuno pipes in again, “I’m pretty sure I would notice if a girl was dropping signals that she likes me.“

Now that stings. That legit makes me wince and cringe as though his voice delivered an actual physical hit to my chest and stomach. It’s really unpleasant, painful even.

“You never notice.“ There’s something about this triple opportunity - proving him wrong that he’d catch onto a girl’s signals; proving him wrong that girls aren’t attracted to him; coming clean about the biggest emotional struggle I’ve experienced in recent years; - that snaps my last emotional restraints. I will totally regret this later, but after the regret comes the relief which is 100% worth it. 

“What?“ He sounds very puzzled. I can just about imagine him frowning as he tries to wrap his brain around something even I can’t wrap mine around.

“You say you’d notice a girl’s hints of attraction. OK.“ I nonchalantly throw Felix off the submarine in Party Animals while I keep talking, “Would you notice if a girl purposely doesn’t kill you in Among Us when she’s impostor? Or would you notice that a girl always sends you links to videos she finds funny? Or that she always shares music and movie recommendations with you and you only?“ 

Dead silence ensues. I feel like they have all glitched, considering Sean didn’t even try to put up a fight when I lifted him and threw him in the ocean as I previously did with Felix’s avatar.

Maybe I was a tad too specific and made the whole situation hit a little too close to home for me. 

Sykkuno and I have become really close friends and we chat and play games regularly. As I mentioned, I give him movie and music recommendations and I only recently started acknowledging the fact that I’ve never killed him in Among Us. Natural instinct I guess. In fact, I feel the need for vengeance when he’s killed. I refuse to even vote for him unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Now that I think about it, it’s not his fault he has no clue. I just don’t know how to properly drop hints.  

“Um...I mean, I guess I would notice but I’d never think they are that type of hints.“ He finally replies.

On point there, dear. On damn point.

“What does it take for you to be convinced that a girl is into you?“ Who cares that a bunch of people are about to witness this outpour? It’ll make it more real, yes, but it will also help me believe that it happened so I don’t try to crawl back to the point where return is an option. No return now. You’ve already passed two thirds of the way. The last one will set you and your mind free. 

“The only way I can be sure is if she tells me, really.“ He sounds so nervous and shy, like he’s trying to draw as little attention as possible.

He doesn’t have to worry. I’m about to pull all the attention on me.

“Well in that case....you leave me no other choice.“ My screen displays me as the winner of this round of Party Animals - an easy one considering my friends are glitched in real life. “I like you, Sykkuno. I like you a lot. And I know you will see it from every context except the one its meant to be in so I’ll be even more head-on - I’ve liked you, as more than a friend for quite some time now, but buddy, you can be sooo oblivious sometimes. Anyway...“ Here’s that regret I was talking about, it’s already creeping in. “Don’t feel the need to say it back. I don’t wanna hear it if you don’t mean it. And Rae,“ I can’t help but laugh at the thought, “Sorry for making your chat go crazy. Peace!“

And I disconnect from the Discord call.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?“ I say out loud, staring at my desktop. “The cat’s out of the bag and you can move on now.“

I push myself to get some work done in order to get my mind off the mess I’ve created. I’m afraid of thinking about it, I know I’ll get too upset to do anything with the rest of my day if I do.

Suddenly, just as I’m about to open my email, my phone chimes. My brain doesn’t bother to stop my arm from automatically reaching out and checking the notification. A message.

From Sykkuno.

~ I knew you didn’t suggest me ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ for no reason

Me ~ So...?

~ So, I’m not the only oblivious one here, Y/N

Me ~ Wait WHAT?

~ ‘Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist’?

Me ~ Oooohhhh...I see

It takes him a few seconds to reply, the bubble with the three bouncing dots popping up and disappearing a few times now. I just now feel my heart banging against the inside of my ribcage, my pulse echoing in my ears.

He did seem a little too eager for me to watch that movie...

~ So, movie date?

I laugh, wholeheartedly and honestly. Genuine joy running through my veins.

Me ~ So it is.

The grin that is now decorating my features promises to stay there for the rest of the day. I bite my bottom lip at the thought that pops into my head.

Me ~ Phew, I can stop sparing you in Among Us from now on

He sends me three cry-laughing emojis in return, but I don’t need those. I can just imagine him laughing as he usually does with one hand covering his mouth. And here I thought my grin couldn’t grow wider.

 Imagining him happy makes me smile. His happiness makes me happy. He makes me happy.

Even better...

I think the feeling’s mutual.

[katavicbun]

As promised (actually I don’t think I promised it but whatev) here is the girl talk snippet from “It’s Not Over. We’re Not Done.” chapter 15. If you haven’t read it ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/28798473/chapters/70625382 plu plug plug) then you’ll be confused, but like... if you want contextless post-DR3 “Nagito has friends” fluff, who am I to stop you?

Back in the Jabberwock killing game, Nagito almost enjoyed the motives that they were given. As soon as the 77th class had been thrown into the thick of it, Nagito had been beside himself with anticipation at seeing brilliant Ultimate hope persevere against the depths of tragedy. But he didn’t think he’d be happy about a new killing motive again. 

Granted, the reason was much less nefarious this time around. 

The First Blood Perk: there would be no trial or punishment for the first blackened. They would be free; or whatever that meant in the context of the simulation.

Nagito was looking forward to telling Hajime the relatively good news, but once his game-watching shift was over, it looked like Kazuichi had beaten him to it. 

From what Nagito could hear at a distance, it sounded like Kazuichi was putting a bit too much emphasis on how “Kokichi is being an absolute dick to Kiibo”, but the tension in Hajime’s expression lessened with the actually-important news. 

Even when Kazuichi left, Nagito stayed where he was, indecisively shifting from foot to foot. Hajime hadn’t reacted well at all when the two’s relationship had been outed the day prior. He was slowly warming up to showing casual affection when they were alone, but when others could see them…

Hajime finally noticed Nagito fidgeting on the other side of the hall, his face softening further, a small but genuine smile gracing his face. The sight went straight to Nagito’s heart, speeding it up to double-time.

He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten this lucky. 

But before either could call out a greeting, two hands slapped over Nagito’s eyes as someone leaped onto his back. 

“Ah?” Nagito said in subdued alarm. 

“Nagichan spotted! Deploy, deploy!” Presumably Ibuki screeched in his ear, as he bent under her weight. 

“Oh, wonderful! I was worried we would not be able to meet today,” Sonia chirped, somewhere to Nagito’s left. When Ibuki slid off and he regained his sight, Nagito saw the two, plus Komaru, beaming at him expectantly. 

“Do you… need something…?” Nagito blanked. 

“Uh, yeah!” Komaru exclaimed, as if he were missing something very, very obvious. “We haven’t talked about-“

She cut herself off when she spotted Hajime in earshot, looking as baffled as Nagito felt. 

“Ha! Ha! Hajiman!” Ibuki hooted, “Nagi is needed in another castle!”

She and Komaru grabbed both of Nagito’s arms and tugged him back in the direction he’d come from. 

Murder, maybe? No, probably not. 

Sonia smiled brightly and gave a brisk wave to Hajime. “Do not worry! We shall return him to you soon!”

Komaru and Ibuki giggled madly at her word choice as they dragged Nagito away. He wasn’t positive, but he was pretty sure Hajime’s face began turning a concerning shade of white. 

Komaru threw the door open when they reached her and Toko’s room. The three girls filed in without hesitation, but Nagito stopped at the doorway. Wasn’t it inappropriate for a man to enter a girl’s room? It wasn’t like he had ever done that before. Nor had he ever wanted to. However, the protest never had the chance to leave his mouth before he was pulled in, too, the door slamming behind him. 

It came as no surprise that Toko was already inside, curled up under the covers. She seldom moved ever since they were locked inside the hotel, still wracked with guilt and self-horror from what she had done to save Komaru from Tsumugi’s crowd. From who she had let Genocide Jack kill. 

“Hello, Toko,” Nagito said quietly. “Is Nami bothering you?”

Toko made a small noise of negation. 

The only parts of her that Nagito could see was the tangled purple mess of hair sprawled across the pillow, and her hand, absently petting his dog lying beside her. Evidently, at some point during the past two hours or so, Nami had slipped inside, like the spoiled pet she was. 

“Tell us everything!” Komaru urged excitedly, jumping onto the mattress to sit with her girlfriend. Sonia knelt delicately on the floor on Toko’s other side, and Ibuki flopped down next, yanking a very confused Nagito with her.

“Everything...? Komaru, we were on the same shift,” Nagito reminded her.

“Huh? No, not about the…” Komaru trailed off. It seemed like their merry group of twenty-three was split down the middle when it came to how to deal with their situation. Hajime couldn’t stop talking about it, but Komaru was trying very hard to talk about literally anything else.

Ibuki interrupted. “So are you and Hajiman, like, ooey-gooey lovey-dovey, or are you…” She made a variety of random sound effects that Nagito was afraid to interpret.

Sonia and Komaru were leaning forward with sparkling eyes and wide grins.

Ah.

“I… um,” Nagito stuttered, completely unsure of how to answer. The room suddenly felt very warm. And small. “Not… Not the second one. I think.”

“Ooey-gooey boyfriends!” Ibuki squished his cheeks as Komaru and Sonia shot him with rapid-fire questions.

“When!?”

“Where?”

“Who confessed!?”

“Oh! Have you kissed?”

Nagito managed to pry Ibuki away from his face. She bounced away, unbothered. “A week ago, in the hotel hallway, it… depends, and…” Nagito stopped. What was he even allowed to disclose? So much of this was uncharted territory; he still wasn’t used to having friends in the first place. He still wasn’t used to even calling them friends, despite them insisting it was so.

“He’s blushing! They totally have!” Komaru accused proudly.

“My goodness, the both of you must be so sweet!” Sonia clasped her hands together under her chin. “What did you talk about?”

Nagito had replayed the moment an inappropriate amount of times in his own head; maybe it would be nice to talk about it out loud. And they were asking. “Hmm… Hajime said he loved me, and let me kiss him.”

The three girls had frozen smiles on their faces, like they were expecting more.

Ibuki blinked. “Ah… aww?” 

“I’m sorry. Was that too much?” Nagito frowned. He was trying to get better at determining when he had been talking for too long.

“D-details…” Toko mumbled. So she was listening. 

“It… was nice…?” Nagito ventured.

“What did you talk about?” Komaru prompted. Sonia and Ibuki nodded.

Oh. Just a little more, then. “I told him that I fell in love with the Hajime inside Izuru and the Izuru inside Hajime. Then he requested that I stop saying things like that if I continued rejecting his advances. I reminded him that it was for his own wellbeing, and he told me that for whatever reason, he believed that I wasn’t an utter detriment to his quality of life. He even said he was sad when I died!” Nagito closed his eyes dreamily at the memory. “He said many kind things, and allowed me to kiss him. He smiled!”

The girls looked considerably less excited.

“I… I am… more confused, somehow.” Sonia cocked her head, her eyebrows upturned.

“Wait, hold on, did Hajime say he loved you before?” Komaru asked. “When you were in Towa with us, you said it was one-sided.”

“L-lying…” Toko muttered.

“No, not on purpose!” Nagito quickly clarified. He tried not to lie when he could. “Hajime also said it on the boat ride back to Jabberwock, after we escaped Aozora.” 

“Well well well!?” Ibuki shook her fists, pumped up again at the prospect of more gossip.

That memory wasn’t quite as pleasant.

“When Hajime was fixing my prosthetic, he wanted to know why I sacrificed myself for him, and allowed myself to be captured in his place. Of course, I reminded him that I loved him,” Nagito recounted. It seemed like an obvious question at the time. Now that he had hindsight, though, he wondered if it was simply a way to steer the conversation. “He said he felt the same. He tried to kiss me, but…” Nagito winced.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I just can’t let you. Because I was right, wasn’t I?”

“You think I’m doing this because of Izuru!?”

Nagito shook his head. “...Well. Like I said. It was… for his own good.”

Sonia gasped and covered her mouth. “Oh, Nagito, I… I am so sorry!”

“You’re… sorry?” Nagito repeated. Not quite the reaction he was expecting.

“I told you that Hajime was fixing your arm because I thought you wanted to talk,” Sonia explained mournfully. “I knew how you felt, and I could tell Hajime had feelings for you as well. You both acted so odd afterwards. I should have picked it together!”

“‘Put’,” Toko corrected.

Calling his and Hajime’s actions “odd” was a bit of an understatement. Hajime tried to explain himself, and reconnect, and care for Nagito. But Nagito pushed him away. He was cruel.

“Um, question?” Komaru spoke up hesitantly. “You keep saying that avoiding him was for his own good. What do you mean, exactly?”

“Is it Nagichan’s luck?” Ibuki asked.

Nagito shook his head. If it were anyone else, or if Hajime was 100% “Hajime”, it would have been. Something terrible would have happened to him, just like his parents. But Hajime’s own Ultimate Luck nullified the negative aspects.

Well. Not Hajime’s luck. It was-

“You are talking about the simulation, then?” Sonia offered after a pause.

No, not really. Nagito wasn’t in the mood to correct her, though. Plus, the Jabberwock killing game was a massive roadblock between the two of them. 

“I never saw the simulation, though. What happened?” Komaru asked. 

Sonia and Ibuki avoided Nagito’s eyes.

The Jabberwock killing was also the massive elephant in the room.

They all waited for Nagito to explain. He didn’t. He figured the extent of his actions would best be described by the ones he hurt.

“Ah. Well,” Sonia said after his silence became apparent. “Nagito, um… he was a little…”

“Wacko?” Ibuki supplied.

Sonia looked at her sharply. Nagito nodded in encouragement.

“Nagichan tried to hurt Imposter. And everyone. And Hajiman... is also part of ‘everyone’?” Ibuki continued with uncharacteristic discomfort. Her details were very lacking. Nagito thought it would be best to fill in a bit.

“Not out of self-preservation, either. I simply thought that by introducing despair, it would persuade our classmates to fight for their own brilliant hopes. When I failed, I tried to convince the others to do the same,” Nagito explained. The words were familiar, but even he noticed that his tone lacked the enthusiasm he once spoke with. It felt less like the ramblings of a devotee, and more like an objective, emotionless retelling. “I found out our past identities as the Remnants of Despair, and used my own life to try and take theirs. After all, it was the only use I could think of for myself.”

By the deafening silence following, Nagito came to the conclusion that this was not the planned topic of discussion.

This was all news to Komaru. Still, she didn’t look surprised. It probably sounded very consistent with her and Toko’s experience with him.

“But we have forgiven you!” Sonia insisted, covering his hand with hers. “You have proven that you are a good man, many times now. And… we have all done… terrible, terrible things.” Her voice dipped down at the end of her sentence. As pure-hearted as she was now, Sonia, too, was a Remnant of Despair.

“Hajiman totally thinks so, too!” Ibuki piped up, the positive momentum picking up again. “He’s gone gaga!”

“First impressions aren’t everything, either!” Komaru added. “I mean, look at me and Toko. The first time we met, we were totally different to each other than we are now.”

“It wasn’t the first time we met,” Nagito blurted out.

Oops.

“You… knew each other when you were students?” Sonia deduced. “I did not know that.”

“Oh no, Nagichan didn’t like Reserve Courses…” Ibuki recalled. There went the positive mood again. However…

“I met him when he was no longer a student,” Nagito corrected, his tone flattening out. He met him when he was no longer Hajime.

“I see. Hajime feels guilty because Izuru hurt you?” Sonia asked quietly. 

Yes, but not the way she meant it. 

Nagito wasn’t planning on explaining much further, but Toko spoke again, her voice muffled under the blankets.

“W-where did you g-go when you l-left Towa? Th-the f-first time I-I mean.”

Nagito’s head shot up.

“Wh-what Tsumugi said…” Toko murmured.

“Nagito Komaeda, Ultimate Lucky Student number two, psychopath hope-bitch, Izuru’s personal puppy dog!”

A sharp inhale from Sonia, a gawk from Ibuki, a sympathetic sound from Komaru.

The questions popping around in their minds were practically audible, but they knew enough not to voice them. It wasn’t like they didn’t understand what Toko was implying, either. 

Nagito felt that familiar, peaceful feeling of resignation fill his body, pasting a blank, cheerful smile on his face.

“I’m sorry, I know this isn’t what you planned on talking about today. Though, if it’s any consolation, I’ve found this conversation enlightening. It’s good to remember your roots, isn’t it?” Nagito mused. “‘Hajime and Nagito’... it’s pretty nonsensical and twisted, hmm? His claim to care for me is… impossible. And so is yours-”

Nagito was cut off when Sonia tackled him.

“Do not dare finish that thought!” She cried, squeezing him much tighter than he figured she would be able to. “I do not claim to know how Hajime feels, but I know how I do!”

“Sonia…?” Nagito blinked, trying and failing to untangle himself. 

“You are sweet and kind. You saved my life, even after how we have treated you!” She insisted, cheek squished against his shoulder. 

Ibuki leaped at Nagito from his other side, nearly knocking him and Sonia to the ground. “Ibuki’s crazy, too, it’s a-okay! And she was wrong, Nagichan would never hurt his neighbors’ pets. Nami-Mami is so happy!”

The dog’s tail thumped on the bed at the sound of her name.

“Plus, Nagi’s got the voice of a princess, and he lets me play with his floof!” To illustrate, Ibuki plunged one of her hands into his hair and ruffled madly. Nagito really didn’t like it when (most) people touched his hair, but he was too surprised at the moment to protest.

Two more arms wrapped around his shoulders as Komaru laid on her stomach to reach them from the bed. “I know I haven’t really known you for too long, but I wanna get to know you more. We didn’t get off on a good foot, but you’re so different now!”

A hand landed on his head.

“I-I j-just do wh-what Komaru does… sh-she makes friends w-with w-weird people, b-but…” Toko muttered.

Nagito felt tears prick at his eyes, but he was too cocooned with affection to be able to wipe his face. “Ah… that’s… thank you,” he murmured. 

He jumped when he felt a light slap on his scalp.

“Also, come on! Hajime is totally head over heels!” Komaru scolded playfully. “When you talked to him on the computer back in Towa, he was so happy you were okay, I thought he was gonna, like, explode!”

“I-it was gross,” Toko agreed.

“And Hajiman tried so hard to rescue you!” Ibuki squealed. Nagito flinched at her proximity to his ear. “Ibuki heard he carried Nagichan all the way back to the bus. Like a knight and a princess!”

Nagito wasn’t sure he liked Ibuki’s insistence of him being a princess, but she meant well.

“And I have never seen Hajime as happy as he was when you were together.” Sonia said, pulling back to put a hand on Nagito’s cheek. “We are not defined by our actions in the past. Who you are now is most important, and the person that you are now is the one we all love.”

Being loved: it was an experience that Nagito never really had. Of course he wouldn’t recognize it.

“After everything… I think you should allow yourself to believe what you are told.” Sonia smiled gently. “Don’t you?”

Change didn’t come easy. It didn’t come quick. It came in increments, in short bursts, in relapses and two steps back, and in growth. 

One gesture couldn’t change everything. But it could help the process.

“I… I love you all, too,” Nagito said thickly.

********************

Nagito knew he’d made Hajime lose his cool quite a bit back in the day. But not like this. Never like this.

The hole Hajime had punched through the wall watched them like a single black eye, the resulting drops of blood on the carpet almost visible, even in the dark. Hajime’s eyes were puffy, and the bandage on his hand was bulky and rough.

When Hajime had gotten out of the shower, Nagito was laying on the bed and feigning sleep. He wasn’t sure what he could even say to Hajime, and decided that acting was the least offensive thing to do. He kept his eyes shut, even when he felt Hajime’s bore into him. Even when Hajime laid down and clung onto him for dear life. Even when Hajime hooked his legs like a vice around one of Nagito’s, and gripped his shirt enough to make it ride up, and buried his face so far into the crook of Nagito’s neck that he worried his breathing was compromised. 

Maybe it was to prevent Nagito from leaving and trying to sacrifice himself. Again.

Or…

“I think you should allow yourself to believe what you are told. Don’t you?”

...Or maybe Hajime just wanted reassurance that Nagito was there. Maybe he just wanted to be with him.

“I love you,” Hajime whispered shakily to the supposedly-sleeping boy, his breath warm on his skin.

Hajime wanted Nagito to be scared about the prospect of his own demise. But how could he be?

Right now, Nagito had everything he wanted. He had… friends. A makeshift family. He had Hajime.

For once, Nagito was happy.

[mlqcconfessions]

*chanting* the boys as dads. the boys as dads. tHE BOYS AS DADS. THE BOYS AS DADS! THE BOYS AS DADS!! (plus points if the kid looks JUST like MC?)

YESS. YESSS.

YESSSSSSSS

MLQC Headcanon - Our little treasure

Victor

He’s the father of a lovely daughter, who looks just like you (to his amusement)

He loves waking up in the morning seeing MC 1.0 and MC 2.0 in bed together

Calls her his little angel (Does that make him Father angel?)

He buys the best presents on her birthday (which unofficially became a celebrated holiday at LFG)

You and your daughter sometimes visit him at the office (much to his delight)

Finishes an entire day’s worth of documents so he can dedicate his time to playing with her

Has her toy kitchen set placed in the corner of his office (so she can bake him a cake while he works which he pretends to eat)

HAS A FRAMED PICTURE OF YOU AND HIS DAUGHTER ON HIS DESK (taken from when you were going apple picking last fall)

He hangs the “I love you” card she made for him on her 3rd birthday on his wall (shows it off to Goldman who doesn’t get paid enough to listen to his boss’ gushes)

Loves the outfits you dress her in (loves it even more when you two are matching)

Hosts the most extravagant parties to celebrate the most random events (the biggest one to date was when she said “dadda” for the first time)

Makes her pudding, but not too often

He wants to prevent her from going to the dentist (just in case she gets scared)

Victor, she’s going to have to go see a dentist someday

He tries hard to not let his daughter become spoiled

He makes her work for rewards

But is actually weak against her tears (you’re the one who has to set your foot down, most of the time)

He looks forward to going home after work (sometimes makes Goldman lock the doors to LFG so he can go home faster)

He loves being greeting by the two of you, while she runs up to hug him

He feels so content in these moments that nothing seems impossible

So he’s ready for another one

Kiro

TWIN. SONS.

SO RAMBUNCTIOUS (he’s actually the loudest one)

He notices their love for music early on

He sings along with them while bathing them

Spends the little break times he has to memorize the opening of their favorite show (he takes on one of the characters to dance with his sons)

He brings his sons to the recording studio, letting them go wild inside

He secretly records them singing in the booth (sets it as his ringtone)

Definitely the type to tell them stories about the monster in the closet, with dramatic sound effects (that’s not what your angelic voice is for, Kiro)

He’s so intrigued at how they look like you (but with blond hair)

Doesn’t like getting mad often, but will do it if he has to (actually pretty scary when he’s scolding them)

He asks Savin all sorts of questions (that he honestly doesn’t want to know the context of)

Savin, how do you remove a ring from a baby’s stomach? 

You found out later from Savin (I left the room for 5 minutes, Kiro. And you let the baby swallow your ring?)

Frequent games of “Who can hug mommy the tightest?” (he just picks you up bridal style, letting your legs dangle over the twins’ heads)

Insists he tags along on play dates with the neighborhood kids

He gets along so well with the parents?

Gives standing ovations at their school plays (YES! Do you see those trees? They’re MY trees!)

He makes things like chores and brushing teeth into a game (so they won’t be as hostile towards them)

150% wears matching pajamas with the twins (honestly, it’s like you’re raising 3 kids)

Has mini concerts at home (it’s good that you live in a house, and not an apartment)

WRITES SONGS ABOUT HIS SONS

Performs them on tours ONLY when he knows you’ll bring them there

Has a bedtime routine with them (kiss mommy goodnight, kiss daddy goodnight daddy kisses mommy goodnight)

Always wakes up to see them in weird sleeping positions (takes a picture every time, later makes them into a full album became the present for their 18th birthday)

Lucien

A beautiful daughter, a beautiful wife

Nothing more he could ask for

He’s into making home videos (likes to watch them in between his lectures)

He just likes looking at her (because she reminds him so much of you)

Isn’t reluctant to introduce her to the other professors (but doesn’t like it when they get a little too close)

He can’t hide his triumphant smirk whenever she tells him to pick her up (sorry Dr., it seems my daughter is wary of strangers)

He likes noticing the small details about his child (and how she has the same habits as you)

Like how you stick out your tongue when concentrating

Or how one eye squints a little more than the other when smiling

He buys a tiny lab coat for her (after she said she wanted to be a white fairy princess like her dad)

RAISES. BUTTERFLIES. WITH. HER. (the whole caterpillar to cocoon shabang)

He calls her his Blue Morpho (you’re his Monarch)

Explains every animal during trips to the zoo (she loves calling the animals by their scientific names)

He’s so tall? He has to bend down in order to hold her hand (the reason why he just rolls the stroller instead / just picks her up)

He does little science experiments with her (safe ones, of course)

He takes her word for it when she exclaims how colorful everything is

You sometimes bring her to classes when he’s scheduled to lecture

The class can’t focus while a toddler keeps drawing stuff on the board

He plays picture card games with her

Ok, then what animal is this one?

Leopardus pardalis! (You actually can’t keep up with their conversations sometimes)

He has to hold her hand during her naps (she said it helps her fall asleep better, or something like that)

He’s not complaining

Gavin

He can’t believe this is actually happening

He’s going to be a FATHER

And with YOUR child! (the nurses had to stop him from barging into the room so often)

He insisted that he try the Empathy Belly (so he could exactly know what you were going through during pregnancy)

Didn’t think it would be THIS difficult to just live a daily life

SO PROTECTIVE over his daughter (literally follows closely behind her)

He was honestly worried about being a dad (especially after growing up with that asshole kind of parent)

You put full trust in him because Gavin is DIFFERENT from his father (and now he can believe that)

He loves just how much she looks like you (it’s like watching a mini-you run around the house)

Has workout sessions with her (push-up kisses, squats with her dangling on his shoulders, bench presses with her as weight)

Likes it when she tags along with him to the police station (he brags to the other officers every time)

But bringing her to STF? NO WAY IN HELL (although Eli does come over sometimes)

He changed his diet (from instant ramen) so she could be a healthy child

Has an entire closet full of bandages, ointments, and medicine for when she’s hurt or gets sick (if only he took care of his own injuries like that)

But he is a lot more careful when fighting on the scene

He doesn’t want her to cry over his wounds like LAST TIME (he was so surprised)

Uncle Minor acts as the unofficial godfather (he’s actually good at taking care of kids?)

Gavin teaches her how to ride a 2-wheeled bike (he’s so afraid of letting go, even if she insisted)

He likes taking her out on flights when she’s a little older (they always visit the Ferris wheel afterwards)

He makes another ginkgo bracelet just for her

He has pretend tea parties with her and you (Uncle Minor is the butler for some reason)

He keeps the drawing of you, Gavin, and her safely tucked inside his pocket during missions (it’s his good luck charm)

Doesn’t let her use Sparky, but does let her help him clean it

DEFINITELY THE TYPE TO WALK WITH HER ON HIS SHOULDERS (she’s holding on his neck, chin resting on the top of his head)

Worries about the future boyfriend she’s gonna bring home 

Gavin, she’s only 5

Well, yeah but for NOW

WHEW

That was a lot of fluff

Which was your favorite part? Mine would probably be Gavin working out with his daughter (because I’m Birdcop trash like that and actually imagined it)

[captain-danwilds]

One Step Forward

Hi @avengerpercy! I realize I didn’t take Brazil’s timezone into account when posting this so I’m sorry this is technically late, but here’s your @aftgexchange gift.  I hope this is good enough for you Cristal.  This is my first time playing in the AFTG sandbox, so I wanted to live up to your expectations.  I ended up using your prompt “Andrew and Aaron talking and solving their problems”  for a little outsider POV Andreil fluff with a large helping of twinyards.   

A few quick notes. Betsy and the joint sessions set the backdrop for this fic even though I am not a therapist and also not trying to make some statement about therapy in general (Personally I’m a big fan, but also recognize that Aaron really doesn’t seem to be in we’re in his POV.) I’m not trying to demonize Aaron or Andrew here.  Aaron just fundamentally misunderstands Andrew.  Also Raven King/Drake Incident references.  

Ever since Aaron had found out Andrew existed, he’d felt unsteady.   It wasn't just the sudden knowledge of how different his life could have been if Tilda hadn't decided to come back to get him or even if she'd just taken the other baby.   It was the fact his brother was a mass of contradictions piled on top of each other and every aspect of their relationship was built on the idea of one step forward and two steps back.

Aaron wasn't an idiot.  When the officer at the stupid game had mentioned Andrew, Aaron didn't expect his long-lost brother to immediately love him.  This wasn't a television show.   He knew by now that blood only went so far, that it hadn't stopped his mother from raising her hand to him or Uncle Luthor from sending Nicky away only for his cousin to come back a shell of himself.  But he couldn't deny he wanted it to work desperately, for there to be another little boy out there whose life might be made better by having a brother in it.  

His first step forward a letter that had to be rewritten at least twice because everything sounded wrong.  His bedroom trash can overflowed with pieces of notebook paper crumpled in frustration or with ink smeared from tears he'd never admit to anyone he'd actually shed.  Aaron must have spent hours writing the letter, typing it up in stolen time at the school library and sneaking to the post office while Mom had been out of it.  

Hours completely wasted when the only reply was two words:  "Fuck Off."

That should have been the sign to leave things well enough alone.  

But instead, he'd taken the return address and written a second letter to "the guardians of Andrew Doe."  

And instead of an answer from his brother, Aaron had gotten a voicemail saying Andrew had gone to Juvie.  

Even the slightest hint of progress was met with resistance.    

Gaining a brother meant losing his mom and never being in control of his decisions anymore.  

Andrew lived by his own rules, an unspoken tally system of betrayals where Aaron would never be the one who measured up.  Andrew wouldn't say it, because Andrew didn't say anything now that he was off the drugs.  Aaron knew his brother only cared about him in context of proving that he'd never broken their deal.  Until he called the whole thing off for Josten.  

Josten, the idiot that would say things like "Andrew doesn't lie"  as if he actually believed him.  As if there truly was some magical code his brother followed that made sense.    

"If you really don't care about Andrew, why does Neil bother you so much?"   Dobson asked during their Wednesday session.

Aaron dug his fingers into the couch.  He hated this.  Hated that the only time he could get answers out of Andrew was when he was sitting in front of a shrink.   A shrink who was undoubtedly on his brother's side. And that in order to get answers he had to rip himself raw first.  

"I understand that therapy isn't for everyone,"  She'd said smiling gently during their first mandatory meeting freshman year.  "More than that, therapy with me might not be your answer,  so don't let today stop you from seeking help in the future if that's what you decide you want.  I can direct you to one of my colleagues who you might feel more comfortable with."  

They'd been meeting for almost a year now and Aaron still wasn't comfortable with her, no matter how many cups of hot chocolate she offered or how many smiles she gave.   They'd come a long way from the complete silence and blank expression of his first individual session or even the harsh words the first time he'd shown up to Andrew's session, but it wasn't comfortable by any means.  

The point was he wasn't about to pour his heart out to her even if Andrew wasn't in the room.  With Andrew there, Aaron had no good way to answer the question without giving too much of himself away again, of being hurt when everything went to hell. Still, Aaron couldn't help but let the multitude of answers flow over him.  

Because Josten waltzes in, every ounce of him screaming lie and danger, and this team bends over backwards for him. Because Aaron's seen enough to know Josten is dangerous.  Because he will kill him if Josten doesn't keep his big mouth from bring the mafia down on them again before Aaron graduates and he can't handle another murder trial.  Because Josten makes it so easy, throwing as many insults back as he gives.   Those are the easy answers, because Aaron's life doesn't revolve around Andrew. He can hate Josten because Josten is a piece of shit who makes every aspect of his life harder.  

But that's also not the whole truth.  Because he saw the way Andrew looked at him in Baltimore, the tender movements in his hands completely at odds with the angry spark in his eyes.  Because Andrew hates people touching him and yet he doesn't hesitate to wrap his hand around the back of Josten's neck.  Because there's something aggravating in the way that Andrew can look at Josten and see something precious when he never looks at Aaron like that.  

Aaron doesn't want to think his life revolves around Andrew, but his hatred of Josten certainly does.  It’s partially jealousy.  Why does this nobody get easy answers from Andrew?  What makes him so special?  

But the larger issue is that Aaron has seen Andrew broken.  As much as Aaron wants to wish Drake away, he can’t.  He’ll never be able to get Andrew’s face out of his head or the manic laugh left by the drugs. There are nights where he wakes up feeling like he still has the blood on his hands, that he’ll never be free of the feeling of Andrew knotting his fingers through his hair in worry when Andrew’s the one covered in bruises.  Seeing his brother like that once was enough to break him.  He doesn’t understand how Andrew can let Josten so close when Josten is a walking danger magnet.  He doesn’t know what he would do when Josten inevitably hurts Andrew, because that’s the type of danger Andrew can’t just stab with a knife.    

Betsy gave a small cough and Aaron knew he'd been quiet too long.  He avoided Betsy's gaze to look at the clock.  They were already a few minutes over their time.   He wouldn’t have answered at all, just turned back to glare at Betsy until she dismisses them both for the day except he saw Andrew.  

Andrew was still angled away from him on the opposite end of the couch.  His mouth was still turned in a slight frown, but Andrew’s gaze had sharpened.  Even months ago, Aaron might have missed it.  It was a sign of amusement, slight exasperation maybe, but also one of want.  Aaron had never seen that expression for any reason other than Josten, and now it’s directed at him.

“Josten isn’t safe.”  

Andrew gave a huff that might even be considered laughter.

“I’m serious. You’re giving him the power to hurt you.  Just because you don’t care about your own wellbeing, doesn’t mean I’m going to stand by and let him get away with it.”  

“I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.”  Andrew waved his hand dismissively.  “Which is good because you’re shit at picking the right battles.”  

Aaron groaned.  “And what do you mean by that?”  

“Neil won’t hurt me.”  He said it like it should be obvious, like he can’t believe Aaron missed something so fundamental.  

“But how can you know that?”  

“How do you know Kaitlyn won’t hurt you?”  The words were thrown like a weapon to end this conversation.  

But Aaron isn’t about to rise to the bait.  Andrew seemed to think that every girl was just going to be another Tilda, that Aaron would let them hurt him for the scraps of affection.  He knew Andrew didn’t decide Kaitlyn was safe out of the goodness of his heart, so his answer made no sense.  

“Why shouldn’t I be worried about Neil hurting you?”  Aaron repeated himself more directly, even calling the idiot by his first name as a sign of good will.  

Andrew looked down at his hands, his right-hand tracing seemingly random places around each of the knuckles on his left.  The gesture seemed both familiar and wrong.   Finally Andrew took a deep breath and looked directly at Aaron.  

“He listens when I say no.”

The words are simple, but Aaron can hear the depth of meaning there.  He gave a slight nod.

Andrew must still see that he doesn’t fully understand, because he continued softly, “He promised he’d stay” before nodding at Betsy and leaving the two of them alone in the room.  

Aaron doesn’t hear Betsy’s chipper goodbye or even comprehend most of practice afterwards. His mind is reeling and even though Andrew only gave him ten words, it feels like one hell of a step forward.  

It’s only later at one of the Fox movie nights that Aaron realized why Andrew’s fidgeting looked wrong.  He’d seen that gesture before.  Andrew’s right hand gently tracing the scars on Neil’s as they sit side by side in silence, barely acknowledging each other but still taking pleasure in each other’s presence.   It’s easy to miss the moment when Neil leans easily back into Andrew and Andrew only tugs their scarred hand closer.  

Aaron hated that it’s this little action is what finally makes him understand. Andrew’s words about Kaitlyn no longer felt like a dig.   It was his brother’s roundabout way of trying to phrase his relationship with Neil in a way Aaron would understand. When you love someone, the world seems safer with them in it.  Andrew might not have said the word love, but he didn’t have to. 

[venusandromedadjarin]

Little Gremlin

Ch. 8, A Glint of Beskar

18+ eventual smut, 1.5k words

You look up from playing with the child in the swamp outside the Razor Crest when Mando’s boots thud on the ramp. “Do you know what used to sit above this planet?” The helmet looks down towards you as he approaches and scoops up the kid who currently has frog legs sticking out of his mouth. His big green ears twitch as his dad sits down with him in his arms, then he suddenly slurps the legs into his mouth, swallowing hard. You laugh before looking up towards the sky.

“The Death Star, if I remember right.” Mando nods, urging you to go on, “I don’t know much about it though, other than that it was destroyed.”

“It was. I don’t know much either, but I know before that happened, the Death Star was moved.” He looks down at the dirt, a few sprigs of green popping up here and there. “The planet was sterilized. It’s desolate.”

“Then why is there a quarry here?”

“My guess is that they aren’t a fighter. They probably got a hold of a starship and made it to the first place they could live alone. The bond isn’t much. I-” He pauses and puts down the kid, who immediately waddles off to find some unlucky specimen to eat. “I want you to come on this hunt.” He stares at you for a few moments, waiting on your response, his helmet tipping to the side at your silence.

“I-okay. What do I need to do?” You’ll probably just be watching the kid, but you don’t understand why you can’t do that from the ship. Plus, there’s a bunch of projects you noticed need to be done: rewiring, cleaning, polishing. You’re a bit taken aback by his proposition, but if it means getting him to talk, there’s no reason not to go.

“Do you know how to shoot a blaster?” He asks as he stands up and offers you a hand, his palm linger in yours longer than it should after pulling you to your feet. He huffs a little from behind the helmet, but you brush it off.

“It’s been a long time, but Teckla taught me,” he hands you one and you run through the basics of safety before looking at it further. Your shoulder bumps his arm while you walk side by side to a clearing where random targets have been set up: old junk from the ship and tree stumps mostly.

“Teckla is the woman who raised you?” His voice has a hint of curiousness that’s carried through the modulator, and you realize you’ve only spoken about her once to him. Even then, you didn’t give him any information.

Taking a stance and lifting the blaster to aim, you start telling him while practicing. He’s silent until you finish:

“When I was a kid on Nevarro, my village was attacked.”

Crack, the first stump splinters in half, sizzling.

“She was an Ardennian who found me in a cellar afterwards.”

Thud, another stump is hit but the thick wood stays solid, only a scorch mark visible.

“Teckla raised me as her own for… 24 years? Taught me everything I know.”

Clink, one of the pieces of scrap metal flys up and then falls back into the dirt.

“Welding, mechanics, languages, all of it.”

Ding, another piece of metal gets scorched.

“I was thirty when I was kidnapped, the only reason I know that is because she was adamant about celebrating. I hate birthdays.”

CRACK, CRACK, the last trunk splits into three pieces after two back to back shots. When you turn around, Mando has his hands on his hips and is staring at you. You’d like to think he’s impressed, but it doesn’t matter because you’re proud of yourself for hitting all the shots after years of no practice.

“She found you in a cellar?”

“Does that mean something to you?” It comes out harder than you meant it, but you stare back at him, waiting for him to admit he knows something. Waiting for him to admit he might know you.

He doesn’t, instead he’s quiet, almost like he’s treading lightly in the conversation. Then, “No. Did she teach you Mando’a?”

Just to be an ass, you answer him in the tongue, “Nayc, ner aliit.” The language was odd, and deepened with context, but you knew he got the gist when his shoulders stiffened.

“Were your family Mandalorians?” You’re oddly aware that he’s moved closer to you during his line of questioning, and now he’s within an arm’s reach. You could reach out and touch him if you wanted to, but you bit your lip and crossed your arms.

“I don’t know. I never saw armor, but I don’t know much about them. My mother was going to tell me some big secret right before the attack,” you look up at him, craning your neck because of how close he is. Above you, the sun was positioned at mid-morning and a few of the moons were still dotting the sky. “There was one other family that stuck to the outskirts of the village, I played with the little boy a lot.”

Mando nods slowly, his silence tripling in length as you stare at him, expecting him to say something. Instead, he turns towards the sound of giggles, heading out to find the child. You take it as your cue to head back to the hull and grab anything you might need.

After hours of walking in the heat, the kid’s ears peeking out of the capsule as he floats behind you both, Mando stops near some logs and puts his big down. A red light blinks steadily, but slowly from inside. The silence hasn’t been awkward, in fact it’s been comfortable, with both of you knowing what the other will do before doing it. He turns away and heads a few yards away where you can see him start picking up firewood.

Even from here, you can see the small change in his movements that imply he’s in pain. By this time, you’d have thought that the Bacta would have healed him fully, but then you remember it might have been too small a dose. As you watch him, you reach into the bag to pull out food. The kid reaches up and tries to grab some from you, so you hand him some jerky that he immediately shoves in his mouth. “Little gremlin!”

Mando drops the fire wood next to you, grunting slightly, before leaning down to make a neat pile, “Step back.” You don’t hesitate to follow directions, and he aims his arm towards the pile, a spurt of fire shooting out. At first the heat is overbearing, but within minutes of the sun dipping below the horizon, you’re grateful. He sits down across from you as you hand him some of the food, curious for a moment as to why he doesn’t start eating right away.

“Oh,” remembering the issue at hand, “do you want me to turn around?”

“No,” he lifts up his helmet just enough to eat and drink, and you try not to stare, but Maker you can’t help it. His lips are so smooth and you can’t help but to imagine what they’d feel like on your skin, on your lips, below your waist. You watch as he chews, oddly turned on by this forbidden skin you’re seeing, even though you’ve seen him pretty much naked. His facial hair is dark brown, almost black and if you squint you can see the smallest amount of curls peeking out of the back of his helmet. His hair shocks you, you thought he would have been clean shaven.

You don’t realize how long you’ve been staring until you notice he isn’t chewing anymore, a glance down tells you he’s done with the food you gave him, but he’s kept helmet pushed up… for your sake? That’s ridiculous.

You flush and quickly turn back to your food. “Sorry,” you say around a full mouth. He chuckles, and without the modulator, the sound is so smooth. It’s still a deep sound, and the thought of hearing his voice without the Beskar wall makes your knees tremble. But you hear the hiss as he pulls it back down over his chin and his breath pushes through the helmet.

You wake up a few hours later, surprised you aren’t shivering now that the fire is out. As your eyes adjust, you feel a heavy piece of fabric over you. The strong scent - Maker, how does it smell so good even though he’s constantly getting it disgustingly dirty? - makes you recognize it as Mando’s cape.

A scuffle from the side of the makeshift camping pit draws your eyes over to it, just as blaster fire lights up the area.

Mando stands with his blaster pointed at someone - a guy with blue skin, from the looks of it - who seems to be suspended in mid air, one hand grabbing at his throat and the other frantically waving a blaster. You immediately grab for the green hand that’s peeking out of the capsule to your left, and the guy drops from the air. Mando steps over him as he tries to lift his blaster, but a heavy boot kicks it and sends it flying into the dirt.

“I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold.”

[stillness-in-green]

The MLA(/PLF) Headcanon Post (1/2)

In response to this nice ask about whether I have any headcanon or thoughts about the current members of the MLA/PLF, I spent two weeks blithering 16.5K words of exactly that into a Word file, because when it comes to underappreciated characters I love, I do not understand restraint.  This post and its follow-up will cover all ranked ex-MLA members of the PLF, as well as Original Flavor Destro and Curious, since I wasn't going to leave them out of a project like this even if they aren't "current."

The ask only mentioned having previously read The Lore Post, the last exercise in ridiculousness that I wrote at the tail end of MLA Week, so I wrote this to summarize everything that doesn't appear there—which is to say that a lot of the material in these two posts will look familiar to anyone who's read my fanfic about the MLA cast.  There’s still plenty of new material to go around too, though!

So, I don't have much in the vein of askblog-style headcanons where I can randomly tell you stray trivia about a character’s favorite foods or their love languages or what have you; that stuff either comes up when I'm writing fanfic or it doesn't.  That said, below, please find a mix of thoughts I keep in mind when writing characters, facts that have only turned up in my fanfic/notes so far and not the Lore Post meta, and a selection of lightning round headcanon provided by cross-referencing a random number generator with some old questionnaires I keep around for OCs and tabletop characters.

In this post: Destro, Re-Destro and his advisors, and Geten.

Destro— 

General Thoughts The whole "revolutionary leader" thing came very naturally to him. He was committed, charismatic, very willing to risk his life and safety for the cause, and he cared about his people. All that said, he absolutely had a pompous, prideful streak, especially where it came to his justification for terrorism.  You only have to read his own words to see that.  Still, he was in large part reacting to the world he lived in, one of greater violence and danger than the current day. 

I like to think that—because he was genuine in wanting freedom for all—he would not approve of what became of his Army.  He'd be able to see how they got there, and he would probably have made much the same choices if he'd been there with them, but while he would have agreed that his role should be remembered—that's just Due Credit—he would never have wanted to become the nigh-on religious figure his followers turned him into. Continuing to fight the good fight for his ideals is one thing, but secret salutes and isolated villages and being raised from infancy to know your life has only as much worth as it can contribute to Liberation…  Well, it's just not what he would have wanted for his people, much less his descendants. 

Family Situation Chikara was only around 7 when his mother was killed, the event that would shape the rest of his life.  He wasn't hiding in the closet from the mob, either; he was kicking and punching and biting, his motivation to save her overflowing—but he was still only 7, and eventually overwhelmed.  His own life might well have ended there with hers, but for a group of neighborhood vigilante types (at least one of whom probably went on to a career as a hero, after legalization).

He went most of his adolescence without getting involved with anything more sinister than student newspapers, founding a secret meta-rights "club," and attending the odd larger protest, but when the government started talking about passing laws restricting the use of meta-abilities, he started getting very radical very quickly, and when some absolute snake started to use his martyred mother's words to bang the drum for banning quirk use outside the home outright, he went off the deep end.

Lightning Round (Randomly Selected Headcanons)

Favorite book genre?  Memoirs and biographies—he wouldn't have written his own if he didn't appreciate their value.  The intimacy of the personal juxtaposed against the broad scope of history appeals to both his regard for individuality and his revolutionary mindset.

Most prized possession?  Thoughts on material possessions in general?   He doesn’t generally prize material possessions—in fact, he’s something of a skinflint.  His most prized possession is an old pair of gloves that belonged to his mother, which he'd been wearing at the time of her murder.  He didn't come from money to begin with, but his mother’s story made enough of a splash that his financial situation was improved by well-meaning sorts sending along donations and contributions and the like, as well as government officials knowing they needed to be sure that he wound up somewhere at least semi-reasonable lest they court further outrage by mishandling the son of a martyred woman.  The money all went towards school and living expenses, though, leaving him quite experienced at balancing a budget, which would come in handy for that whole ‘leading a violent uprising against the state’ thing later on.

Academic Background: Got all the way through college!  Was involved in student groups as far back as middle school, and only got moreso the further in school he got.  Majored in Human Development; he was intending to go into the public health and policy sphere before the appropriation of his mother's language pissed him off so much he got into terrorism instead.

THE MODERN MLA

Re-Destro—

General Thoughts A huge amount of the way I write him is influenced by one single thing—his characterization as described in the second data book.  His personality is summed up there as "sokoshirenai yami"—bottomless darkness, or, as a friend translated it for me, "unfathomable gloominess."  That really, really stuck with me, because on the one hand, it's so opposed to virtually all of what we see of him on the page, where he's being cheerful or scornful or sycophantic; the closest he ever gets are his brief tears for Miyashita, Curious, and his other followers.

On the other hand, it makes so much sense that the man we see—the man who talks about the heavy burdens of his legacy, who was handed that legacy when he couldn't possibly have been any older than 6 or so, who willingly straps on a self-designed torture device to wring out more power, who all but worships the ground Shigaraki walks on even though Shigaraki is the reason Re-Destro no longer has legs to walk that same ground with—should be "unfathomably gloomy."  Of course he's gloomy!  He was never allowed to be his own person!  He has never in his life known true freedom, only existed as a vessel to bring that freedom to others!  And he can't really even talk to his closest friends about it, because his closest friends are still his followers, and he wouldn't want to weigh them down!

With that context, it makes all the sense in the world that he'd be so devoted to the man who relieved him of that burden.

Family Situation He loved his mother Yukie a great deal, despite knowing from early on that he was carrying the weight of the title because she believed she couldn’t.  (Perhaps growing up hearing about the martyrdom of Destro’s mother left him wanting to ensure the happiness of his own, for her happiness was very rare.)  He was 10 when she was killed in a Villain attack; she’d been on a daytrip over to a neighboring city to visit some of her erstwhile school friends.  The requisite mourning period was 49 days, and as the only surviving family member, quite a lot fell to him even before considerations of his role as Re-Destro.  it was perceived as better—for both the Army’s morale and for his own stability—for him to be involved with as much of the work of transition as possible, but obviously he couldn’t do it completely alone, nor should he.  Thus, for two months after Yukie’s death, the previous generation's Sanctum[i] stayed with him in his family home. Afterward, he moved in with Anchor (one of his grandfather's advisors), where he would spend the rest of his young adulthood until moving away for college.

Claustrophobia The name of that literal-iron-maiden deathtrap he brings to bear against Shigaraki is no coincidence: Rikiya developed claustrophobia over the course of a stint of abusive training when he was thirteen. He generally has a pretty good handle on disguising it, thanks to a combination of people being unwilling to ask him questions they don’t actually want the answers to and the fact that he had to learn how to operate through it in order to complete the training at all. He has never told anyone, largely because he’s never been able to recognize that it was abuse, and so his abuser remains a figure of some influence.

Education He was largely taught by private tutors, in his home and in theirs, rather than attending school, but I think he probably wasn't completely home-schooled.  Particularly once he'd decided that he did want to attend university—and not just some little local technical program, but a major school in a proper city—he probably attended classes a few times a week at his local high school just to get a feel for being around other people his own age. He'd been friends with Koku for several years by that point, otherwise he probably would have been pretty hopeless, but he was still a pretty odd duck by the time he got to university.

This, incidentally, is why he never pushed Geten too hard about school—his own experience of it was so weird and piecemeal that he mostly thinks of school as relevant only for the education it provides, and less so the crash course in social dynamics.  Since Geten doesn't care about getting an education (nor, indeed, about learning how not to be a rude little troll), and has a strong enough quirk that he'll never lack for a position in the Army even without a formal education, Rikiya is perfectly happy to let Geten have his way and just be minimally learnèd.

Stress His powers operate by infusing his body with the characteristic black matter of his manifested stress; he can increase his size with this (his so-called Liberated Form isn't just armored up; he becomes physically taller and bulkier), as well as throw handfuls of the materialized power.  A side effect of this is that his stress can also infuse itself into his bodily fluids. The stress matter is a highly dense particulate, so if Rikiya is not in proper control of himself, his proverbial blood, sweat and tears can be literally heavy with the weight of his power.

The Value of Life He cares very much about the lives of his followers, but those genuine feelings are filtered through both the mental compartmentalization required by an emotion-based quirk, and an upbringing that taught him to care about his underlings in the same way one would rare goods.  Valuable goods, certainly, goods worth being proud of, goods to be maintained with care, but still, ultimately, things that can be sold or traded or bartered off as necessary to further one's goals.  Even his own life, while "objectively" the most valuable of them all, isn't an exception to that policy—the Great Cause is more important than any individual life, up to and including his own.

On a Personal Note He’s something of an obvious weirdo to outsiders—his enthusiasm comes off as strident, his smiles overly polished—but despite that, he's bizarrely hard to dislike once they start spending real time with him.  He's not anywhere near as prideful about himself as he is the legacy of the MLA, for a start; he's actually pretty self-deprecating when he's not performing the whole Heir of Destro's Great Bloodline routine at people.  He's also happy to go along with other people sharing their hobbies (because he doesn't have any of his own).  The more you get to know him, the more obvious it becomes that he's a total basket case, but “total basket case” is still an improvement over “self-absorbed 1%-er CEO” that people like Spinner come in expecting.

What Are Boundaries? He has very little understanding of how to enforce boundaries around his private life, or, indeed, of why such boundaries might ever be necessary.  Oh, he can do the double life thing, keep the CEO of Detnerat separate from the Grand Commander of the Metahuman Liberation Army, but when it comes to the MLA itself, he's so groomed to devote himself to the cause that he doesn't really distinguish between the responsibilities of Re-Destro and the needs of Yotsubashi Rikiya.  Rather than being the egomaniac you might expect of a man with the absolute power over others he has, he instead struggles to assert himself as his own person at all.

Issues with boundaries are not uncommon with the MLA—they're all raised to see themselves as warriors to advance the cause before they are, like, “human beings”—but Rikiya’s are particularly exacerbated because he was raised by adults who were getting pretty paranoid about his bloodline's tendency to die young, and thus were always checking in on how he was doing, dictating his schedule, weighing in on his plans, and so on.  He just wasn’t raised with reasonable expectations for privacy.  Even as an adult, he'll give his apartment door code to pretty much anyone in the MLA who has even a semi-plausible reason to want it—certainly quite a few of the elders know it!  And it isn’t only the elders, either; Rikiya's phone and several of his accessories carry tracking chips courtesy of Skeptic, which Rikiya knows about and doesn't think is at all untoward.

While his experience dating Koku definitely taught him some hard lessons about how much he could allow himself to ask of people who would obey him without question (they broke up over Rikiya’s realization that Koku would never deny him anything, thanks to a cracked rib Koku didn’t see fit to tell Rikiya about until Rikiya hugged him a little too hard), he never learned how to value his own autonomy in turn.  Oh, he's the Grand Commander, and everyone around him has been raised to venerate his bloodline, so most of them would never even think about trying to take advantage of him as such, but it's absolutely the case that people who are bold or familiar enough to try can basically run right over him with minimal efforts made at obscuring the fact.  His life is full of people who do and have done exactly that, some to a net positive effect, and some—well.  See again the entry about his claustrophobia.

The abjectly terrible state of his sense of self-worth is also the reason the Claustro exists.  While he was relatively capable of trying to work around his phobia when he was younger, the older he got, the more it started to feel like leaving doors cracked behind him or only working in offices with big spacious floor plans and oversized windows was, in some way, Letting Down The Cause by allowing his fear to control him, rather than embracing it so he could properly stockpile it for later use.  A dinnertime chat with Curious about turning one’s trauma into a weapon for the good of others catalyzed this, leading to the development of the “burden-enhancing steel pressure mechanism,” Claustro. 

(It also means the clone of him made by Twice to handle Detnerat after Deika is bizarrely okay with its circumstances, which I will almost certainly write more about one of these days, but I’m still kind of reeling from that reveal, so more on that another time.)

Lightning Round

Religion?   He doesn't identify as being of a religious faith, but he was brought up in the same peaceful marriage of Shinto and Buddhism that the majority of Japanese people are, and like many, he adheres to a number of traditional practices more out of habit than devout faith.  There are two celebrations that demand significant emotional investment from him.  First comes the New Year's celebrations, important because the MLA prides itself on looking to a brighter, freer future, and it's a period when he can let himself think that maybe he'll be just that little bit closer to Liberation by the end of the year than he was at the start.  Second is Obon, a summer festival for honoring one's departed ancestors. Since his authority and his life's work derive entirely from his bloodline, he's obligated to care about this one, though in practice, he tends to shy away from thinking much about Destro (who he has very twisted-up feelings about indeed) in favor of less emotionally fraught waters.

What did he dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?   He never really had a significant period where he thought about being e.g. an astronaut or a doctor or a hero; in fact, it came as something of a surprise to him the first time Koku asked him what he was planning to do when he grew up.  He always just had the nebulous expectation of, "Be the Grand Commander," and the elders were happy to leave it at that until he brought it up on his own.[ii]  

How does he behave around children? He likes kids!  He’s wistful about the freedom enjoyed by happy children while also being sympathetic to ones that seem overly burdened.  He’s not the most natural person in the world with them, but most of them can tell that the awkwardness comes from a well-intentioned place, and will treat him as a funny-looking man who’ll let them bother him at length without getting mean.  It turns out he’s actually pretty good with them, then, if only by virtue of being easily bullied.  (This, notably, goes for non-MLA-affiliated children.  Everything’s much more formal within the cult, though it didn’t Geten long to suss out the “easily-bullied” part, either.)

Trumpet—

General Thoughts The largest factor in how I write Koku is, of course, the headcanon that he and Rikiya are ex-lovers, and neither of them is 100% over it even all these years later.  Beyond that, though, Koku is the most temperate of the group, the one with the most easy charisma (MLA members are more swayed by Re-Destro, but Koku does better with outsiders who aren't predisposed to hanging on Rikiya's every word).  He strives to come off as The Sensible One, and given the extremes the rest of the inner circle are capable of, it's not hard for him to maintain that title.  He's as messed up as any of them, though, second only to Rikiya in levels of childhood grooming.  He thinks of himself as a practical man, but he is deeply indoctrinated, the boundaries of his expectations very much defined by his upbringing, so he never really sees it coming when he gets clobbered by something from out of left field.

Family Situation: Koku has the largest family of the identified members.  Aside from his grandfather (called Old Man Hanabata, the founder of the Hearts & Minds Party, and passed away by the canon era), Koku has cousins, nieces, nephews and more, courtesy of his uncle, his older sister and her husband, and other extended family.

He’s also the member most accustomed to wealth, power and influence.  He's from a rural area, certainly, but being in a family of hereditary politicians (and with that family not suffering a string of untimely deaths and disappearances like Rikiya's did), he was raised from the start with ready access to money and nice things.  Still, for all his family's sway in a major branch of the MLA's operations, they're not First Families, and thus don't have any elders in their ranks, making them still somewhat subordinate to said elders when it comes to orders about the Great Cause.  (He’s working on it.)

Meeting Re-Destro Koku and Rikiya met at 12 and 10 respectively, when Koku tagged along with Old Man Hanabata for a meeting RD was likewise accompanying Anchor for.  It had been the better part of a year since Rikiya's mother passed away, but he was still strikingly melancholy for a boy that age, which—along with all the weight given to the importance of the meeting—left quite an impression on Koku.  Koku thus became Rikiya's first real friend in his own age group, a friendship heartily encouraged by everyone around them.  Koku was well-behaved, intelligent, a little older but not too much so, and set to become influential without a danger of becoming too influential; he was seen as a good choice for a friend.[iii]

The Break-Up Painful as it was at the time, there was a silver lining to his and RD's post-college break-up: it got Koku out of the elders' pocket.  He’s been groomed for one thing or another all his life, but after he became friends with Rikiya, he was always getting leaned on to report back to the First Families about how Re-Destro was doing, and to try to influence him towards actions the First Families approved of.  In a very real sense, Koku was part of the apparatus keeping Rikiya from any real freedom.  Their break-up and subsequent estrangement meant that the elders had far less to breathe down Koku's neck about, and by the time they reconciled, Trumpet had gotten his feet under him, as had Re-Destro, and they were both better able to fend off such background meddling.

This doesn't mean Trumpet's not still carrying a torch, however.  He thought he was handling his long-banked feelings pretty well—being Professional, being the advisor Re-Destro needed and as much a friend as Rikiya would allow—right up until Rikiya scared the life out of him by nearly dying in Deika.  He's all but glued himself to Rikiya since, as much as he can get away with given their respective responsibilities.

As an Advisor Other than leading the HMP, he does some work with internal politics and reputation. It's not, strictly speaking, his actual job as advisor—Re-Destro or the elders would probably be sought for more formal or critical mediations—but he and the people who report directly to him do enough travelling around to see constituents that they're often in a position to field those tensions before they get big enough to require attention from higher up.  Koku's happy to do so, in fact—not because he just loves handling petty arguments about resources, but because the HMP is a faction of the MLA in and of itself, and mediating is a boost to that faction's standing and autonomy.  (Also, it's that much less on Rikiya's ever-overburdened plate.)

Lightning Round

What would he do if he needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?Ahahahahaha, “make dinner but the kitchen was busy,” please.  Any time there could feasibly be someone else occupying a kitchen he has any business being in himself, it would be a housekeeper, and s/he would be making food for him/his family.  It’s not as though Trumpet has never cooked—he did live alone for some years after school—but outside of a scant few years in university, there’s never really been a time that kitchen use overlap would have been a problem for him. 

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging. Probably gourmet cuisine, especially imported stuff. He’s had tailored clothes all his life; they’re just part of the job.  Expensive alcohol also doesn’t wow him; it wouldn’t be strange to find some sake maker whose family has been doing it for sixteen generations in the village he grew up in.  It’s a lot harder to cultivate a true gourmand’s palate out in the sticks, though, no matter how rich your family is.  Living in actual civilization affords a great deal more variety—and anyway, nice dinners are one of the few things he can reliably tempt Rikiya into accepting.  As to his feelings about indulging in general, he’s broadly For It.  He works very hard, he seldom gets real time off, and it doesn’t help the Great Cause for him to deny himself nice things, unlike some people.  (He’s maybe a bit bitter.)

Does he like to be the center of attention all of the time? Not especially.  Oh, he’s very good at it, certainly, and he doesn’t dislike it, but being the center of attention is practically always going to be tied up in The Great Work, so he desperately needs to get out of the spotlight from time to time, if only to be able to turn off the persona.

Curious—

General Thoughts There are two main factors in how I write Chitose: her practicality and her rapaciousness.  I write her as having an appreciation for good moral character in other people, especially when it makes a good story, but not considering herself particularly bound by conventional morality: her moral compass is Liberation, and she follows it unswervingly.  I also write her as predatory, lusty about a lot of things, often to the point of overstepping.  It doesn't hurt anyone that she likes hearty foods and strong alcohol, but she also doesn't have much regard for peoples' boundaries, and even less so when she thinks they have something to offer the Great Cause.

While that trait isn't without its benefits, it can get pretty ugly, too, as we see in how she treats, and talks to, Toga.  Even with Rikiya, the only person she thinks of as 'above' her in any meaningful sense, she's not at all above manipulation.  She's respectful of him, but knows him too well to always take him at his word.  He plainly can't always see what's best for him, but what's best for him is best for Liberation, and therefore, as a Liberation warrior, it's her responsibility to sometimes make decisions for him.  He'll appreciate it in the long run—he always does.  (Skeptic and Geten have similar views—Rikiya makes it easy.)

Family Situation She probably has the best actual relationship with her family of the group—her mothers are removed enough from the heart of MLA politics that her relationship with Rikiya doesn't color her family life the way Koku's does his, and she's much more sociable than Skeptic or Geten.  She doesn't get home much—just the major holidays, work permitting—but she's in frequent enough communication for a grown woman, and chats with her younger sister more often than that.

Meeting Re-Destro She met Rikiya properly when they were 21 and 27 respectively.  They were living in the same city at the time (him running Detnerat, her in university), so of course she'd seen him at the odd MLA event he turned up at, but when she landed an internship in her junior year, she cheekily turned up one day in her reporter capacity to interview him as “a local rising star of industry.”  It was the first chance they'd had to talk one-on-one, and would not be the last, as she frankly elbowed her way into his life and gradually sussed out that here was a man with Problems.  He and Koku were still in a distant patch at the time; she is largely responsible for getting them back on friendly terms as a way of showing her Pure Intentions.

The fact that her Pure Intentions both land her a square position as one of RD's advisors herself and get Rikiya to a better place emotionally is calculated, but not, therefore, untrue.  Ironically, while she was concerned about looking like a gold-digger, the MLA elders were probably thrilled and relieved to hear rumors that Rikiya was getting romantically involved again.  And with a lovely young MLA woman!  They wouldn't even need to worry about surrogacy arrangements!  (Not having grown up around the Yotsubashis, Chitose is unaware of exactly how pointed an interest the elders take in the matter of securing that bloodline.)

Feelings Today She loves Rikiya dearly, and prizes his regard more highly than anything in her life, but has not devoted much thought to the idea of being in love with him. She's married to her work, as they say, but she's also keenly aware that Rikiya would, for a great many reasons, be a lot of work to be in love with.  She's decided it's generally better for his mental well-being, and therefore also better for the Great Cause (she’s much more capable of reading that relationship reciprocally than Rikiya is), to make sure he's eating at least one good meal a week and getting some proper socialization in outside of MLA meet-and-greets.

As an Advisor She handles external politics and reputation--it's her job to prime Japan culturally for the Liberation agenda in ways more wide-reaching than Trumpet (he's head of a political party, and that's not nothing, but that party is still a small minority on the floor of the Diet).  She pulls attention to stories that benefit the MLA, and diverts attention from stories that don't.  This is far broader than just publishing Destro's memoir; it also means poking holes in the broader Hero Society narrative.  She does this by providing as broad a platform possible for stories about the tragedies of excessive regulation, the evils of quirk-related bias, the abuses of power heroes are capable of, and so on.

Lightning Round

Does she remember names or faces easier? She’s quite good with both, actually, but I’d give names the advantage because she works primarily with written rather than visual mediums.  (Also, BNHA names being the ridiculous puns that they are, you can probably tell more about a person in HeroAca Land by analyzing their name than their face anyway.) 

Is she more concerned with defending her honor, or protecting her status? Her status, absolutely.  Impugning her honor hurts no one but her; she can laugh that off because honor is a silly social construct anyway.  Threatening her status is a much more dangerous prospect—her status is long-cultivated to enable the advancement of Liberation ideology; it lets her keep an eye on Re-Destro, who needs as many people looking out for him as he can get; it’s what she’s worked for all her life. Curious will fuck you up if you threaten her status.

In what situation was she the most afraid she’d ever been? The time she got in trouble for nearly exploding some dude’s face off for stealing her purse.  She was 17, had spent very little time in non-Liberated territory before, and was not raised to wait on heroes to solve her problems.  She wasn’t afraid of the thief or the hero, really, but she was completely terrified that she might have just blown over half a century of secrecy by not performing Helpless Civilian well enough. The terror was pretty convincing to the police interviewing her about it, anyway.  On the whole, it was a very valuable learning experience!  

Skeptic—

General Thoughts Tomoyasu is a character I haven't written extensively yet, but what I think is most interesting about him so far is the contrast of his hyper-modern methods with the bone-deep zealotry for the cause.  See, Rikiya, Koku and Chitose all grew up in the sticks; Rikiya and Koku had money from a young age, but it was old money, tied up in trusts.  (Geten didn't have any of those, but Geten's a different story for other reasons.)  Tomoyasu grew up in a major city from the start; he was a technological prodigy from practically as soon as he could hold a tablet.  He has very little respect for the old ways of doing things when he knows there are newer, better ways of advancing the Cause. However, none of that makes him more likely to break from the MLA's ranks—if anything, his idiosyncratic approach just causes him to approach Liberation in really weird ways, ways no one else would ever come up with.

Pressganging Bubaigawara Jin based on a plan to clone Re-Destro?  Who else would that ever even occur to, much less such that it became the basis for an elaborate psychological assault?  But that's Skeptic in a nutshell—respect the old for what it did at the time, but don't think that means you have to use the same methods they did forever as you pick up the torch to carry it forward.

Family Situation He has an amicable but not intimate relationship with his family.  His parents are very proud of what he's done for the cause and how he won the confidence of Re-Destro, but they don't make much claim to understand how his mind works.  In turn, he recognizes the value of their support over the years—he certainly made a lot of waves with his unabashed venom for the MLA leadership's hidebound traditionalism, and his parents' staunch backing meant a lot for him being able to take the stands he did—but is not very emotionally close with them.  Might find himself with an older brother, if I ever occasion to write about his family situation in more depth.

Education He graduated a four-year university program for getting his computer science degree in two very intense years, during which he did virtually nothing for the Great Cause, his intention being to better position himself for maximum ability to advance Liberation afterward.  See above re: battles his parents fought for him while he was busy modernizing.

Meeting Re-Destro He met Re-Destro via Curious.  He was 22, just a year out of university and already climbing the chain of command at a young telecommunications company.  Rikiya was 33, working on the Claustro, and needed proprietary comms built to a higher standard of security than Detnerat was focused on.  Curious, who was always better positioned to be keeping up with the local personalities, introduced them.

Tomoyasu attempted to keep a civil tongue in his head the first few times he and RD met, but he'd been running on bile and energy drinks for years by that point and was hard-pressed to stop just because he was meeting his Grand Commander.  If anything, finding out that Rikiya was okay with his direction and his mouth eventually helped him chill the fuck out, marginally.

On that note, Skeptic is absolutely the advisor most willing to backtalk Rikiya right to his face.  (Rikiya loves him for it.)  Oh, he'll still accede to Rikiya's wishes, and Re-Destro's orders are his highest priority, but that doesn't mean he feels obligated to be diffident about it.  Like Curious, he has a highly developed sense of, "It's fine if it's for the greater good," which will and has led to him taking things into his own hands when he thinks he knows best (which is always).  He's not going to explicitly disobey orders, but he will creatively interpret them if he feels strongly about them, and he will try to "anticipate" orders before anyone has time to give him specific ones, the better to tailor his efforts towards proving his methods and goals correct rather than being stuck with orders he hates.

On Names I’ve definitely evolved some in my approach on this since I started writing the MLA cast, but at current, Skeptic and Geten are the only ones I consistently write as using and thinking mainly in terms of code names rather than given names.  Trumpet is too familiar with the public/private divide, and has too much intimate history with Rikya-the-person, to default to Re-Destro; Curious is too trained to look for The Human Heart of the Story.  Re-Destro himself, ever since breaking up with Koku, has always tried to use code names for people (himself excluded, because he has enormous self-confidence issues about measuring himself up to the original Destro), but can slip into given names when he’s vulnerable.  To Skeptic and Geten, though, the code name is the real name, for all intents and purposes.  The cover identity is a fake; the whole point of the code name is that you’re proving yourself worthy of taking up your proper place in the Army.  Of course the name you win for yourself is the name that counts.

Lightning Round

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? You’d pretty much have to lock him in a room with nothing but paper and pencil in it for that to be his first resort rather than whatever item of personal electronics he’d otherwise have on his person.  But assuming some actual plausible scenario—couldn’t bring his electronics into a government building, let’s say—he would find trying to do something productive on paper and pencil rather beneath him, and he’s an inveterate fidgeter.  I mostly see him folding that ludicrously tall frame of his into a chair and setting to using the pencil to poke about three hundred holes in the sheet of paper, meticulous and orderly, while muttering complaints to himself the whole time until something annoys him a bit too much and he jabs the whole pencil through the page. 

Who does he see as his best friend?  His worst enemy? I headcanon him having a very reasonable, functional, productive relationship with his No. 1 advisor, Red, and being reasonable, functional, and productive probably goes a lot farther on making you Skeptic’s “friend” than any amount of emotional intimacy.  But “best friend” is not really the kind of language Skeptic uses for his relationships; if you were to ask him who his best friend is, he’d probably tell you, “Iced coffee.”  As to his worst enemy, that’s just whoever is annoying him most on any given day, from difficult clients, to people annoying Re-Destro, stodgy elders, that hero grinning like a tool, that couple walking too slow in front of him on the sidewalk, etc. And Skeptic is pretty proactive about dealing with enemies, as much as he can be.

Has he ever been bitten by an animal? How was he affected (or unaffected)? lol he is a city boy and always has been.  He probably tried to pet a stray cat once out of curiosity, and because it seemed like the sort of thing people did, and then has never forgiven Animals In General when it bit him and then ran off. 

Geten—

General Thoughts Another one I haven’t written a great deal about yet, particularly in the present day, though I’m looking for that to change soonish.  One thing I’d like to explore is Geten when he’s not seething with rage and shame because he failed to bring Re-Destro a victory in Deika. The fandom tends to write Geten as an always-angry attack dog barely contained beneath a chilly veneer, and that’s fair—ever since we got the face reveal, ever since the MLA’s defeat at Shigaraki’s hands, Geten has been an always-angry attack dog barely contained beneath a chilly veneer.

But if you look at Geten from before we knew what was under the hood, you find a different story.  “Chilly and angry all the time” is not at all how he acted when he was fighting Dabi!  At that point, he was talkative, even chatty.  He engaged in a lot of snide smack-talk; he was obviously confident in himself and he spoke very proudly of the MLA as a collective.

He was still quiet at the dinner he attended with Rikiya and his advisors, yes, so I don’t think Geten’s done some kind of full 180 on characterization.  I do, however, think that Geten has a sense of humor in there, has a sense of camaraderie with the MLA rooted in more than just his relationship with Re-Destro, even if Re-Destro is obviously his most important person.  I don’t know if we’ll ever see that in the manga proper, given everything that’s happened, but it’s worth remembering in terms of what Geten is like when he’s solely among allies.

Family Situation Orphaned at a young age, and a problem child from then on.  He passed through a series of foster parents and state facilities before eventually crossing paths with the leader of the local MLA branch in Kesseru, Beacon (more on him next time).  This encounter would lead to him being sent to a group home with a reputation for being good with such difficult cases, giving them Structure and Companionship and Meaningful Work.  (Spoilers: It’s Liberation.)

Despite evening out considerably after a significant meeting with Re-Destro when he was 7[iv], Geten never got particularly close to his adopted family/the other kids at the group home.  He's very favored by the Grand Commander, for one thing, and he has the strongest quirk in the home for another—and since he learned the quirk supremacist stuff from them, that’s a pretty significant part of the dynamic!  Both of these factors mean there's some distance between him and the rest. Still, he's not on bad terms with them—indeed, his foster parents are quite proud of him—and he would probably tear out someone's throat with his teeth for threatening them, if only as a matter of pride.  

There are 4-6 other kids there at any given time; for the bulk of his young adulthood, there were two older than him, the others younger.  He doesn't have much time for Big Brother Pastimes, but is not completely immune to them, either, particularly where the youngest kids are concerned.  His tolerance for Little Brother Antics, however, is nonexistent—if the older kids think they can ruffle his hair and treat him like a kid, they can square the fuck up; he is Number One around here and don’t forget it.

Education Geten never went to school, but he's not completely uneducated.  He had some tutoring in the group home, some more from Re-Destro personally, and has a pile of books he keeps at his bedside, mostly strategic in nature.  He finds them vexing at times, but is slowly reading through them anyway because Re-Destro asked him to.  He’s been a bit more diligent about it since he was made a regiment leader, because lord knows Dabi isn't contributing much.

On Re-Destro Re-Destro became fond of Geten for the same reason he became fond of Skeptic and Curious—Geten was willing to push back.  He really did make some attempts early on to keep Geten at a proper distance, mindful of anything that would look too much like favoritism.  And Geten knew, in the hard-headed way of a child, that Re-Destro was being a grown-up about things, trying to be mature, trying to be impartial.  Geten just didn’t care about any of those things.  Every time, he would listen very seriously to the things Rikiya told him, nod attentively, repeat back what he’d been told, and then go on about doing his own thing anyway.  And his own thing was, typically, to keep coming back.

Of course, if there’s anything we can tell about Re-Destro from the way he treats Shigaraki, it’s that Re-Destro loves people who take the choice away from him.

Eventually, of course, Geten grew up (mostly; I peg him at 19 now), joined the MLA officially, and had to settle into the structure of the Army.  It began to lead to trouble for Re-Destro, when Geten blatantly disobeyed him; it stopped being cute.  Still, the sense that he Knows What’s Best lingers, so Geten works himself very, very hard to be everything Re-Destro needs him to be and more, so that maybe Re-Destro’s burden will be just that little bit lighter.

On Quirk Supremacy (and Re-Destro, still) Here’s the thing about Geten and the whole, “A life without a strong meta-ability has no value,” line, and this continues to drive me mad because of how people getting it wrong influences the bad takes on the MLA in this fandom: Geten is not a reliable witness.  He is not one of the leaders of the MLA, nor does he speak for its rank and file. Even if you assume the absolute worst about his implications there, far worse than is justified by the text, Geten’s very name, Apocrypha, means that he cannot be presumed to be aligned with MLA orthodoxy.

The only one of the people close to Re-Destro who wasn't born and raised MLA, he still manages to come off, in some ways, as the most zealous of the lot of them.  But really, it’s very noticeable that Geten—unlike Re-Destro himself, and unlike even Re-Destro’s close cohort—never talks about the original Destro, never even mentions him.  When he thinks about his leader, he only ever thinks about Rikiya.  Geten doesn’t follow Re-Destro because of his bloodline, because of the tenets; he follows Re-Destro because of personal loyalty.[v]

So how best to do that?  Well, think about it: Geten is not terribly intelligent, nor wealthy, nor well-connected. He and Trumpet are the ones most influenced by the quirk supremacist line of thought, Trumpet because his relatively weak quirk comes off as exponentially stronger the more he can surround himself in people it works on, and Geten because his strong quirk lets him mentally justify Re-Destro's investment in him despite his other insufficiencies.

Compare this with Re-Destro, who only ever talks about quirks in terms of freedom. Even more prominently, look at Skeptic and Curious, who are not at all defined by their quirks and how strong or weak said quirks may be.  Indeed, those two devote scarcely a thought to the matter because they contribute to the cause in much more important ways and seem to be perfectly comfortable with where that leaves them.

Geten may not be very smart or influential, but he’s very capable of looking at what strengths he does have and focusing hard on those.  That, I think, is what really lead to his embracing quirk supremacy, even in the face of evidence that he doesn’t have the whole picture: the search for a way to measure himself up to the movers and shakers Rikiya is otherwise surrounded with, and not come up drastically wanting.  

“Apocrypha” Geten has been Geten for a long time, since long before the MLA types usually take up their code names. He’s also an outlier in the MLA for having a name in Japanese instead of in English—the only one who does!  My headcanon, unless and until we get some other members with Japanese code names, is that he got the name directly from Re-Destro—possibly even in the conversation that lead to him imprinting so hard on the man when he was 7—and insisted on keeping it before any other code name that was suggested to him in later years.

But yes, he does have a normal Japanese name on file at the group home, which he’s obligated to answer to on the rare occasions that someone from Child Services is checking in or he and Re-Destro are out in public.  I don’t plan to bother coming up with it unless I need to, as I expect we’ll get it in a character profile one of these days.

His Quirk While a lot of people like the vibe of Geten and Dabi being somewhat equivalently vulnerable to their own quirks, and I agree it makes for good fanart, in truth, Geten is only as vulnerable to his ice as Endeavor is his flames.  Which is to say, he isn't immune, but he's certainly more resistant to it than the average person would be!  There’s already plenty of good material to contrast Dabi and Geten without pretending their quirks are more mirrored than is actually the case.

Lightning Round

How does he treat people in service jobs? He doesn’t, because he’s never in a position to interact with people in service jobs.  There have been times he’s gone out with Re-Destro, but in those cases he’s mostly let Re-Destro handle the human interaction.

What does he dislike in other people? Laziness; the lack of a higher purpose of some kind.  (It’s possible he’d thaw out on his disdain for Dabi considerably if he knew more about Dabi’s plans to undermine the whole of the Hero System than Dabi is inclined to tell him.)

Is he always there for a friend in need? Sure, as long as by “friend” you mean “fellow Liberation warrior” and by “need” you mean “in need of an icicle punched through one of someone else’s desperately fleshy body parts.”

Footnotes

[i]  Sanctum II's tastes being what they are, this probably means Rikiya is the MLA member most likely to be able to perform traditional Japanese tea ceremony.

[ii]  And there were elders who would have been happy to leave it at that permanently, I'm sure.  There are always going to be those regents who have trouble relinquishing power back to the boy prince when he grows up and becomes king, you know?

[iii]  And, when it eventually got out that they were dating, a relatively solid match, give or take the surrogacy arrangements that would eventually need to be made.

[iv]  I’m hoping canon gives us some details on this eventually, so I’m not planning to iron out more headcanon on the matter unless I absolutely have to.

[v]  This, incidentally, is a large part of why Rikiya does keep him around—it’s soothing to have someone around who never brings up his ancestor.  Anyway, after Geten evolved his quirk, people stopped complaining so much, even though RD never did get around to, like, giving Geten any formal responsibilities.  Geten, who knows very well that Re-Destro’s real advisors have real jobs, mostly took this as reason to be all the stronger, in hopes that he’d eventually be given one.

[ihatetaxes99]

Well, hello all once again. Considering that the last time I discussed BNHA, it was in an overwhelmingly negative context, I've decided it would be a good plan to actually talk about an aspect of the series that makes me really happy and one that I constantly eagerly await new content for. And yes, it's none other than the good old League of Villains. 

So, since I have nothing better to do, I've decided to discuss each and every Leaguer in order of my favourite to least favourite (although I at the very least appreciate all of them.) Keep in mind that the rejected Vanguard Action Squad members who were either written out of the story during the Training Camp arc or shortly afterwards will not appear on my list (Although Muscular and Moonfish and hopefully Mustard do seem to be making a return), nor will I discuss the additional members that came with the formation for the PLF, because although I really like Re-Destro in particular, none of them really give me enough to work with and I'd be writing like two sentences for someone like Geten, which would just be a slap in the face to people who do care about his character. Also, Doctor Garaki and All for One also won't appear. Basically just the core members who have been present with the League from the Training Camp up until the War will be featured.

Anyway, I've wasted enough time, let us proceed without any further ado.

Tenko Shimura [Tomura Shigaraki] - Yes, it really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone to see good old Shig ranked at the very top of my list. Yes, as I have said before, Tomura tends to flip between being my favourite and second favourite overall character, but the reason I have listed him as the best League member is simply put, his development. My God, it is absolutely sublime. I legitimately adore it. When we first saw Tomura emerge from the underbelly of society during the USJ arc, he was a pampered, whimpering brat, a manchild who threw tantrums after he lost and essentially threatened to kill everyone, ranging from random children to his butler. I mean, can that even be compared to the same person who took command of an army, broke past his potential and meticulously pulled apart every threat he's stared down? Here's some food for thought, Shigaraki has never lost to another villain. He emerged the clear victor when facing Chisaki and the Meta Liberation Army and in the long term, proved to usurp Stain's legacy and make it his own. The growth is just amazing and Shigaraki is genuinely a more interesting character to follow than our door mat of a protagonist. I have very rarely seen an antagonist start out as exceptionally weak, essentially being a comedy villain of the week, and slowly growing in power, intellect and ferocity. Just a fantastic character overall.

Atsuhiro Sako [Mister Compress] - Alrighty, now we get down to the interesting stuff! Mister Compress is, without a doubt, my favourite Boku No Hero Academia character, he holds the top spot more consistently than Shig does. But why is that? After all, Sako had done essentially nothing from the Training Camp up until his reveal. Well, you see, I am of the belief that a character need not be particularly deep as long as they have an engrossing personality. And Mister has that in spades. I am a huge fan of characters who know how to articulate themselves well, so of course Atsuhiro's constant metaphors and showman persona appealed to me instantly. But not just that, his design (and no, I'm not just talking about how hot we now know him to be) is just brilliant. The top hat, the masks that change to reflect his general emotion at the time, his bolo tie, he has a fucking badass prosthetic for Christ's sake. And remember, as the great Joseph Joestar proved, prosthetic hands in fiction are kickass. I just love him, even as a character who never contributed all that much overall, and I certainly hope for his return in some capacity following the shocking twist of him actually doing something during the war.

Jin Bubaigawara [Twice] - Rest in peace my friend, rest in peace indeed. But really, what can be said about good old Jin? Well, he was fantastic, easily one of the best in the League. A truly sympathetic figure within the group, someone who we the audience could truly feel sad for. Out of everybody, Twice likely went through the worst of the trauma and at the end of the day, he just wanted to fit in somewhere, anywhere. He wanted friendships. And friendships he found in Mister and Toga, and to a lesser extent, Dabi, and a boss he truly respected could be found in Shigaraki. I was, as many others were, completely torn by Jin's death. This was the first major death of the war, and as we soon found out, unfortunately one of the only few overall (sorry, I know I promised to be positive, the war arc just really went to shit after chapter 294, which by the way was so far the last really good chapter to me.) Alas, the death made sense; Twice's arc was complete, he had overcome his fears and finally found a place of belonging. If any villain were to die, it made sense that he was the one. Truly a legendary character, one of the greats.

Himiko Toga - Ah, yes, the blood-soaked minx that has proven herself a constant thorn in the side of UA, whether they know it or not. Her whereabouts are currently unknown (maybe she's doing something involving Mister? Please, Hori?), but from what she has featured in, I have certainly loved her every appearance. Initially a typical psychotic "yandere UwU" girl, she's certainly evolved over time. Her proactive nature was revealed during the License Exam arc, In the Overhaul arc, we saw her care for others, during the MLA skirmish, we saw her backstory and motives made a little clearer and finally, during the war, she was pushed to her breaking point, in a rare example of a character from Oceaniz' War arc video who actually belonged in the tier he assigned them to. Yes, Ms. Toga has been one of those characters who has been given so much screen time due to her popularity that it has definitely benefited her in the long run, at the expense of characters like Mister and Spinner. She's not my favourite Leaguer, but still a brilliant character in her own right.

Shuichi Iguchi [Spinner] - Well, nearing the end of the list, we approach the first character that I am leaning more towards just liking as opposed to really liking. Spinner for the longest time, did fuck all. Actually, he's still basically done fuck all. Mostly a self-admitted aimless Stain fanboy who provides running commentary. But, remember what I said about a good personality making up for a weak presence? Well, Iguchi is not quite as strong as Sako in that regard, but the little lizard boy has certainly grown on me. We've seen him grow into the moral centre of the League, being the only other member aside from Mister Compress to presumably have a body count of zero, and as I mentioned above, has even admitted to himself and Shigaraki that he's a hollow fanatic of Stain, that he leapt on the bandwagon because he thought it would give him purpose in his meandering life. And ultimately, it did, as Shuichi has evolved to becoming one of the most positive members of the team. I mean, for God's sake, he even pleads with All for One to rescue Compress and Toga before they fled the battlefield, that alone skyrocketed my respect for him as a character. 

Touya Todoroki [Dabi] - Well… Here we are… The only League of Villains member that I would generally say I dislike. And that's not to say I don't see the merits to him, I'm just not huge on it. Dabi is the League's edgy boi, he dresses up in a way that only a blind person would approve of, is too cool for anybody else and is essentially a big bundle of daddy issues. Now, the recently-released Chapter 301 absolutely tanked my respect for him as a character, with him being portrayed as an awkward, foul-tempered brat, but I never have held him in the highest regard. The whole bad boy shtick just isn't my thing, Dabi is a shining example of the opposite of my belief about a character; I really dislike his personality, but he contributes enough to the overall plot that I wouldn't quite consider him a bad character. I don't know, he's a weird one, and not one I've ever been fond of. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I mean, when even pre-Overhaul arc Shigaraki calls you out on being a rude piece of shit, you know there's a problem somewhere.

Well, those are my collected thoughts on the members of the League of Villains. Maybe I'll do another one of these sometime, talking about the Vanguard members, maybe combined in a double feature with All for One and Garaki. Another time, perhaps. Another time…

Moral of the story, the villains are the best BNHA characters, fight me on this.

[purplesunrisefanfic]

“this is the only way to keep you safe.”

Okay, let’s try another direct bash out of a Drabble or ficlet, because they’re kinda fun. :D There will be typos et cetera.

WARNINGS: (written after the fic) Surprising no one, I wrote y’all some angst and some kinky kinky smut.

MAJOR warning for anyone with claustrophia or triggers around imprisonment, abadonment or kidnapping. @ me if you want more info to decide, but I would suggest you consider skipping this fic if those are issues for you.

Warning for consent: While I try to write things in with an atmosphere that implies such things are present, I don’t write all the details of negotiations, safeword agreements or other preagreed variations from normal rules of consent into every fic I write. Please assume that these things are there in the background of their established relationship, this is consensual play in a context of having done this type of stuff together before and having agreed to how they will handle what counts as a yes.

General warnings for vague mentions of violence/the threats of the TLOU universe, sexually explicit swearing and for various kinky things. More detailed warnings re:the kinky things would kinda be spoilers so @ me if you want or need these. And as always, ANY reader, for ANY of my fics, ANYTIME is also just generally welcome to reach out to ask if you have less commonly warned-for triggers that you wanna check for.

This Is The Only Way To Keep You Safe (Abby/Ellie)

“This is fucking bullshit! What the fuck—“

“This is the only way to keep you safe, Ellie.”

“How the fuck is fucking trapping me down here supposed to keep me safe?!”

“You think they won’t still want you? That base is full of Salt Lake vets. Someone will recognise you. Down here, they won’t get the chance.”

“If it’s so dangerous, then what the hell are you thinking taking Lev—“

“Lev will be fine. He’s not immune. They don’t slaughter random people—“

“Just vivisect the special kids, huh?”

Abby ignored the jibe, still not sure what to make of the “other side” of the story.

“Have you forgotten how badly we need the help? They adored my father, and I don’t see that we have a better shot of getting what we need than to hope they’ll do Jerry’s daughter a favour.”

“I get that, but I don’t see how that plan equals that we should be locking me in freakin’ basement.”

“Ellie.” Abby waited a moment, wanting to try and get her into listening mode.

“You will be alone. For days. In an area where the only people who survived the Rattler base destruction have seen that you were bitten. They will recognise you. You’re not exactly wanting for being memorable. In a group, it’s less obvious but alone? You will be seen, you will be recognised. And, if by some miracle you don’t get shot in head for being presumed to be infected, then word of that will travel. The Fireflies will get wind and come looking themselves, or someone will be smart enough to try and trade you for the bounty.”

“Fine. I’ll keep a low profile. I’ll stay quiet and make sure I’m not seen.”

Abby stopped organising her rucksack and turned to make eye contact. “Ellie,” she said, looking at her with affectionate skepticism.

Under Abby’s gaze, she grew a little awkward, both from the tension and from how much she didn’t like being called on her obvious bullshit.

“When are you quiet?”

“Uh? Excuse me? Who is it that knifes a room full of clickers alone without a single one of them noticing while you and Lev just fucking wait around?”

“And how long does that take?”

Her question met with silence, Abby continues. “And what do you do afterward?”

She raises her eyebrow as she asks, but still gets a reply of silence.

“Yes. Ellie. You are a fucking machine. I get that. You‘re a stealth master when it suits the battle. But being quiet for days, when most of time you aren’t in combat? No shouting out any cusses? No calling out for ‘any more of you fuckers’?”

Abby’s serious look with her slight raised eyebrow transforms into a look of utter incredulity at the though of Ellie keeping a constant low profile for three whole days.

“And you have a good chance of making it alone out here while we’re gone, I know that too. But not as good as if you stay hidden.”

Unable to actually argue the points, Ellie sticks to silently staring back, nostrils flaring, and clearly seething. Abby gives her a minute, returning to packing her bag. Still livid about the situation and not wanting to accept the reality of it, Ellie decides to try some clear bullshit.

“The way you wanna lock me up, I’ll have to kick a whole bookcase over if I need to get out. How much noise will that make?”

Abby sighs wearily. Maybe she should ask the Fireflies to examine her head while she is there, see if there’s a medical reason she’s masochistically fallen for the most stubborn person she’s ever met.

“This basement is well-hidden. There’s no reason to think it will be found even if people search the rest of the house. And you’re not telling me that you couldn’t set things up so that an even army couldn’t survive to the bottom of those stairs, if it came to it. because if we’re agreeing on anything here, it’s that you are more than capable.”

This was getting exhausting. Abby dug deep.

“Could you not just put up with a few days of rest for the sake of my peace of mind, please?”

Ellie was taken aback. Her expression softened as she registered the sincere concern in Abby’s eyes and she reconsidered.

“Okay. I’ll do it. For you.“

She still had to fire a parting shot, though.

“I’m not saying I agree with you, I still think it’s ridiculous, but I’ll do it for you.”

Fuck’s sake, can nothing ever be easy? Well, at least she’d agreed... Abby sighed in relief then gave her a weary “Thank you,” not looking up from her bag.

Ellie started to feel like she’d been kind of a dick. Sorry was not likely to be coming out of her stubborn mouth, but she tried to make some amends.

“Besides,” she spoke with a suggestive grin, “I wouldn’t wanna deny you whatever perverted kicks you’ll get out of holding me captive for three straight days.”

Abby scoffed with some amusement.

“You think this is a sex game?”

Ellie’s expression was full of challenge, “Isn’t it?”

Abby smiled. This was how Ellie got her to overlooked how freakin’ annoying her stubborness was.

“No, it’s a ‘you don’t die horribly at the hands of the many possible foes we have’ game.”

“Meh, that sounds like a crappy game, a sex game would be better.”

The suggestion in Ellie’s voice went straight to Abby’s clit. Her voice took on a flirty edge.

“You wanna make this a sex game?”

Ellie smirked.

“Don’t you?” She fired back.

Then she bit her lip. Purposefully. It seemed she’d decided to go from goading Abby one way to goading her another way. She got more than she bargained for when Abby lunged at her.

Hand behind Ellie’s head to absorb the impact, she slammed her into a wall. Then her hands moved around, holding Ellie’s head in place against the wall, with a grip too tight for Ellie to move forward. She moved her lips to within milimeters of a kiss before she spoke in a husky voice.

“You want three days down here with an ass so sore you can’t sit? Because that can be arranged.”

Ellie tried to suppress a moan, but didn’t manage to fully conceal her reaction. Abby heard her, and was very happy for the opportunity to goad her back.

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Wanna make this a little more fun, El?”

Ellie’s pride overrode her desire, and she attempted a stoic look and a shrug. But Abby could see deeper.

“I think that’s a yes...”

Ellie put her game face on, ready for Abby to strip it away but not quite wanting to bellow out the “Yes” that her body was screaming. Abby started to stroke her fingertips across Ellie’s décolletage, towards her left shoulder. She traced a line down from her shoulder to her arm slowly, and Ellie felt her anticipation creep up a little.

Once she reached Ellie’s wrist, she took hold of her hand, pressing her biceps into the wall and bending her elbow so her forearm stuck out in front of her. Her left hand kept a grip too tight for Ellie fight while she started to trace every line of the intricate tattoo that covered Ellie’s scarred skin and the secrets below it. Using just the nail of her thumb, she slowly dragged the pattern against her girlfriend’s flesh. She made it about halfway before Ellie gave in and audibly whimpered. Then Abby let up for awhile, moving so that Ellie could touch her all over, then strip her naked and eat her out as she laid on the one of beds down in the barracks. She kept her hands on Ellie the whole time as the redhead went down on her, building her arousal with tickles on the sensitive little spots she’d gradually found on Ellie’s neck, shoulders and ears. She sometimes felt Ellie shudder a little on top of her. Perfect.

—

Ellie was gasping from her own desire by the time Abby came. Abby held her for a minutes and tried her best to speak affectionately, something that still made her shy. Once she’d recovered, she picked Ellie up, held her with her face to the wall and started to give her the promised glow on her ass. When she seemed to have finished, Ellie moaned invitingly, wanting Abby’s fingers. But Abby wasn’t finished yet.

“Uh-uh, I thought we said this should hurt for three whole days, didn’t we? It’ll take a little more than that to get you nicely bruised up enough to last for three days.”

—

It wasn’t hardest Ellie had experienced (and her tolerance was this sort of thing was yet another source of stubborn pride, of course) but she was visibly in some pain by the time Abby had finished with her. Pain that only got worse when Abby flipped her around a pressed her back and ass into the wall. Two very strong thighs held Ellie’s leg in place, spread open as she moaned in delight at the delicious agony she felt in her ass. Abby then placed her hands above her own legs, pressing Ellie’s hips into the wall, as she knelt down for a taste of Ellie’s soaked, dribbling cunt.

—

Once she’d edged Ellie with her tongue, she stopped and gave her a kiss on the mouth, sharing the taste that Abby delighted in but Ellie found a little uncomfortable to share with her, especially when Abby’s mouth left her own covered in her juices, her own scent right under her nose. Her cheeks stung as she considered her options: leave it there or lick her own lips and taste herself some more? She decided to leave it, something near primal in her driving an urge to leave the claim Abby had left on her where it was while she felt two fingers slip inside her. Yeah, she thought as she sighed at the touch, she wanted to come just like that, inhaling the memory of Abby’s mouth against her cunt as she felt her fingers thrust inside her and that now rather skilled thumb on her clit.

Abby has a different plan, though. One that earned her a cross between a whimper and a growl from Ellie. She pulled her fingers out and her hand away just in time to frustrate Ellie from her imminent climax. Ellie scowled at Abby as she licked her own fingers clean, enjoying a final taste of the woman she’d miss for the next three days.

“You wanted a sex game, Ellie? Well how about this? Don’t touch yourself while I’m gone. Wait for me to finish what I started.”

Abby began to walk away while Ellie was still gobsmacked, returning to her rucksack to finish preparing for the trip to another island nearby. She prepared slowly, giving Ellie a good chunk of time to consider if she wanted to safeword before Abby left (though she could always do so later on in her journal), but Ellie stayed quiet, her face slowly turning from shock to something that almost resembled glee. Eventually, she spoke up, wanting to signal her agreement without giving Abby an easy time of it.

“I knew the real reason you wanted me down here was pervy.”

Abby didn’t argue, though it was untrue. A little while later she picked up her bag and made her way to the stairs. She kept her goodbye simple, because all the important things had been said before and then said again without words as they’d played.

“I’ll see you in three days.”

[alcxandros]

context: text messages between Seifer and RInoa:

Rinoa: I’m waiting for Squall to come back. He’s going to ask why I was out there. Probably you too. Seifer: And what exactly had you planned on telling him?

Rinoa: That I forced my way for you to get me out of Garden. That isn’t a lie. But what are you going to tell him? Because if it’s coming out that I’ve been sleeping with you I’d rather him hear it from me.

( she’s lowkey asking without being too direct ‘please don’t be a dick and shove this in his face’ ) Seifer: As tempting as it may be to throw that in his face, you both need to work your own problems out. That’s not my truth to tell. But you should tell him. He deserves to know. ( which that message reassured her that he wouldn’t do that ( be a dick ) so she didn’t have to ask that point blank / directly )

Rinoa: I know. And he does. Seifer: Good. Rinoa: I didn’t mean to drag you into my problems. Or cause them.

Seifer: I’m a big boy, I can make my own mistakes and take responsibility for them. You’re not alone in this.

Seifer could probably mean a few different things when he said she isn’t alone in this - not alone in that she isn’t the only one that fucked up, not alone in this situation via isolated and literally on her own like - she isn’t going to be bailed on like ‘wham bam thank you ma’am’ then peacing out. Maybe neither, maybe both ( i have processing issues and often need things super direct and clear ).

But from Rinoa’s stand point - she can’t see that she isn’t alone in either context examples. She took a note from teen Seifer’s hand book and kept going too far until it’s at a point you can’t easily turn back from, to can’t turn back from at all. She’s the one that ran away, repeatedly. She’s the one who forced herself back in Seifer’s life after he told her he didn’t want to take her with him. She’s the one who perused him. It takes two to tango, so the saying goes, but choosing not to tango was not Seifer’s responsibility. His responsibility was looking out for his own well being.

Keeping secrets from Squall, keeping her escaping Garden from him, trying to shield him from how bad she was doing - at this point she’s got a standing history of keeping things she shouldn’t to herself, which are also traits she shows within the game as well ( not telling them who her father was, not revealing she was a sorceresses until she was forced to, ect ).

But she feels she’s fucked up so badly that she doesn’t see a way this concludes that she isn’t alone. Cheating is bad enough, nearly a decade of being together to result in infidelity. Being unfaithful with someone they both have a history with, her an ambiguous romantic history. That could press their relationship past that point and result in them breaking up. Rinoa doesn’t want her relationship with Squall to end, but she also doesn’t even know if they’re together for the right reasons and how much of their relationship, at this point of time, is authentic. Seeds of rebellion have been planted and there is a tiny spark coming back, lighting up just enough that she’s realizing she has no clue who she is as an adult because she’s been denied growth, and she’s been preforming being as content as she could fake it. She’s also terrified he is content that this will just be her life and be fine with it as long as she’s ‘safe’ - to which begs her to question what he loves because Rinoa has never given a damn about being safe over being happy. She’s always been a rebel and always been a fighter, so these past several years absolutely have not been who she is at her core. Who he loved nearly ten years ago isn’t the same person she is now - and that’s a terrifying truth that needs to be faced. She needs to find herself and show who that is and them to figure out if they are still compatible as they are in their mid/late twenties as they were when they were frankly just kids. Time changes things - and she didn’t want them to change.

Regardless of what part of their relationship was wearing a mask and what wasn’t - he has been a constant in her life and she does not want to lose him. And to even attempt building back trust - which takes several years of consistent honesty to recover from - she absolutely should not continue to see Seifer, the man she’s cheated on him with, even if they break off their sexual relationship.

Rinoa doesn’t want that either. Though she does not understand the details of his own cage, she can easily recognize that he isn’t the man she knew when he was 18, the one who unabashedly took on the world. He’s taking risks still, after she applied pressure on him then kept seeing her afterward, but that fire in him - while still there, has been severely dimmed and controlled, just like hers. She doesn’t have to know details to see it. He’s the only person in years she feels truly understands her in her situation, in ways not even Edea could because Edea had her freedom growing up to adulthood. She had choices. While Rinoa is skeptical to open up emotionally to Seifer and avoids talking about her relationship issues, even with walls still being up and guarded because he is still earning trust ( and she isn’t even sure how much he cares about her personal life or cares to hear about it ; again, trust building ) she feels seen for her core self when she’s with him, that he’s annoyed by the personality she wears of her past self and cut straight past that shit and even though it’s faint - just a tiny spark on a nearly dead flame - he is, intentionally or not, showing her how small her cage is and being fine with it is not who she is.  ( idk where to insert this so random insertion here that i can’t think fits into anywhere ; rinoa, while growing trust in him to the point of wearing the bangle when around him for his comfort to allowing skin contact on her scars even if just under a blanket, she is still very hesitant and uncomfortable being emotionally vulnerable with him. when they started sleeping together, she was in it to get out frustrations and it was on a more physical level. him understanding her situation and vice versa, having conversations in his trailer, and getting closer than just sex was not remotely what she expected when they continued to be in each others lives. and it scares her - she is scared to let him in again in the event she gets left behind or disregarded. that trust is still building. )

She doesn’t want to lose the person who she feels actually understands her and her grief, and who is encouraging her to be who she is. While doing so is going, and already has, made her start raddling the bars against her cage - life is going to get harder ( like it is now ) but she doesn’t want to go back. She won’t survive going back.

To lose Seifer would devastate her and because only a spark was lit, she’d probably revert back into being complaisant with the source of her growing empowerment ( until she could nurture it herself ) being removed. But to keep him in her life after she tells Squall she’s been sleeping with him is cruel and would likely shatter any hope for their relationship to recover.

She doesn’t see a way she isn’t alone right now, and won’t be alone when this current storm ends.

[heroes-fading]

Why Veronica Mars Won’t Have a Season 5

My introduction to Veronica Mars came in the midst of my father’s death. I watched episodes in hospital waiting rooms before it happened, and holed up in my room afterwards. I found a lot of comfort in the strength that the characters provided. The scene of Logan at his mother’s funeral - maniac and trying to find the humor in it - is exactly what I felt at my father’s. I, like Logan, made jokes and tried shrugging it off. I was certain that this was some sort of cosmic joke, and I was on the receiving end. Veronica’s personality shaped most of who I was in high school - my dad passed away two weeks before I started. Her snark, intelligence, and resilience inspired me so much then. I found a wonderful community with fans of the show, and to this day as a semi-adult I love and adore so many people I met through the show.

When the movie was announced, I was ecstatic. I remember rushing to a bathroom stall at my high school so I could eloquently keyboard-smash about it with my friends, donating to the Kickstarter, wearing my t-shirt, going to the theater with my friend to watch it and livestreaming it the night of its release with my online friends. In a sea of horrible feelings and helplessness, Veronica Mars helped me feel empowered and supported.

That’s partly why all of this stings so badly and feels so much like a betrayal.

Logan Echolls fits into a lot of tropes I’ve grown to hate as a self-identified feminist who has zero time for bad boys. Men who “atone for their sins” to get with a leading heroine are ones I often find boring - so often they’re executed poorly and their past mistakes would be absolutely unforgivable in a real context. Chuck Bass, Damon Salvatore, Spike, et. all are characters I’m tired of seeing in fiction. Logan Echolls organized a bum fight, took out Veronica’s headlights, burned down a community pool, made a series of racist comments to Weevil, and generally had moments of being the absolute worst. But for some weird reason, I have a massive soft spot for Logan and he’s become one of my favorite fictional characters.

Maybe it’s because we’ve seen him go through much, change so much over the course of the show. Maybe it’s because the show actually held him accountable (as well as Veronica) so the redemption didn’t feel cheap or unearned. Or maybe it’s because I’m just a weak heterosexual hypnotized by Jason Dohring’s abs and my feminism only goes so far as who I think is hot. I hope it’s not the last one, but I’m sure some would argue it is! The point is -- healthy, going-to-therapy Logan feels earned after the deaths of his parents, his abusive dad killing his girlfriend, numerous beatings, and too many near death experiences to count. Logan went from being an obligatory psychotic jackass to a fairly well-adjusted boyfriend in a way that made narrative sense.

His offscreen death right after getting married to the love of his life? Not so much.  

The thing that stings about Veronica Mars’ final episode is not just Logan’s death - it’s what it means for the show going forward, especially its titular character. What made Veronica lovable was not her toughness as Logan’s final voicemail details. As season 3 Logan reminds us, Veronica isn’t invincible and she isn’t always right. What made her such a compelling character was what was underneath that toughness, and the people around her that highlighted that warmth buried underneath layers of trauma. In other words, what made her a marshmallow. Burnt on the outside, but gooey on the inside, as Wallace describes her in the pilot.

When we meet Veronica in the pilot, she’s been through a litany of traumas: her best friend’s death, a breakup, sexual assault and drugging, social ostracization, her mother’s addiction and swift exit from her life, a swift drop in socioeconomic status, and routine humiliation at the hands of her peers. But in spite of all of that, she’s still the girl that cuts Wallace down from the flag because it’s the right thing to do. She’s still the girl that worries about her father, has sympathy for Logan after his mother’s death despite all of his cruelty, defends and comforts Meg Manning after she endures the same bullying Veronica did, cares (often, initially unwillingly) about the people whose cases she takes, and bakes cookies for her friend after his basketball game just because. Even as recently as the books, Veronica bakes a cake for her terrible, abandoning mother on her birthday in spite of her replacing her and Keith with another family. She looks after her half-brother Hunter, even if he’s a painful reminder of her mother’s foibles. Veronica isn’t nearly as tough as she pretends to be, and that’s a good thing. That’s what makes her interesting and stops her from being like every other cynical hardboiled detective trope.

The people around Veronica - who support her, evolve with her, and serve as contrasts to her - are what help make her story so compelling. People who can tell her when she’s wrong (Logan, Keith, Weevil, et. all), who remind her of her soft side (Keith, Wallace, Mac, Logan), who can stop her from turning into a noir stereotype and cement her as Veronica Mars. People aren’t tuning in just to see Veronica snark at random side characters. Her personal journey in moving past her trauma and her relationships with other characters are what really makes the character who she is. 

Her journey, from the pilot episode to the movie, is realizing that she can’t just shove down and run away from her trauma. Over the course of her show, we see her form bonds with people in spite of her attempts not to - Wallace, Mac, Logan, and a variety of others. They help her, support her, and challenge her in ways that only serve to make her story more interesting. In the movie, we see Veronica realize she can’t keep running and she doesn’t want a cushy life as a New York lawyer with a boyfriend who doesn’t understand why she cares so much about what happens in her hometown. Neptune, as corrupt and corroded as it is, is her hometown. 

That’s why it’s such a spectacular slap in the face for the end of season 4 to offer the exact opposite. Veronica loses her husband (after finally evolving from the Veronica in the pilot who swore she was never getting married because she was so cynical about relationships) immediately after marriage. She leaves behind Keith, Wallace, and everyone else to chase unknown cases with unknown people in unknown places. As Rob has said, he saw this as the only way for Veronica to continue to be interesting - roaming the world solo as if she’s Sherlock Holmes.

This is not character progression. This is not driving the plot forward. This is regressing to a character to a point even before the pilot episode - a hardened Veronica who pretends she doesn’t care, who uses her trauma as an armour, and keeps people away from her. It undermines the central message of the movie - that Neptune is her home and in spite of her problems, she’s willing to fight for it. By killing Logan, Rob wanted to kill Veronica’s ties to Neptune. This isn’t an evolution - it’s a devolution. 

Rob Thomas has offered this option before - a Veronica exit vehicle sans everyone else, including only Kristen Bell snarking at a camera - in the form of the last-ditch FBI pilot. It was not well received by fans nor networks, and unsurprisingly not picked up or seen anywhere other than a reposting on YouTube. I think if he sincerely expects any other result from a similar future attempt, he’s lying to himself. 

If Rob Thomas wanted the male character-centric P.I. noir he initially planned on writing rather than Veronica Mars, he should have written that rather than allowed it to take over the Veronica Mars universe. Writing a woman with the same elements of toxic masculinity as male characters (a complete disregard for their own feelings, ripping themselves away from personal connections, framing “toughness” as superior and emotional development as a waste of time) is not feminism - it’s just lazy. “Strong female characters” don’t have to be made strong by undergoing trauma after trauma and shutting down until they’re a shadow of their former selves. Their male counterparts aren’t expected to have to deal with rape, death, ostracization, and every other possible form of trauma  - women sure as hell shouldn’t. 

Furthermore, the way that Rob Thomas has framed his fanbase is shameful. Veronica Mars fans aren’t just deranged fangirls too obsessed with Jason Dohring’s abs to care about the health of the story. This isn’t “not what we wanted, but what we needed” - we’re not an audience too stupid to know what’s good for us. We’re an intelligent audience when we’re giving the showrunners money, but when we’re disagreeing with the writing choices we’re just too invested in romance to “get it”. Predictably, these fans (who make up most of Veronica Mars’ fanbase that the showrunners claim to adore so much) are women. For decades, women have been stereotyped as media-consumers that only care about romance and thus can’t care about depth as if the two are mutually exclusive. This stereotype is incredibly sexist, especially given what this fanbase in particular has done for this franchise, and the continued insistence that these fans just don’t know what’s good for them or the show is incredibly condescending and transparent.

This fanbase poured $6 million dollars into a Kickstarter for a money, maintained energy for a revival and actively lobbied streaming services and networks for a continuation, and kept the fandom twelve years after the finale episode of its original incarnation aired. As much as some may resent how fan energy encouraged writers to see Logan evolve, or Logan and Veronica to sort out their issues, or anything else - these were choices the writers made and stood by for years. A sudden U-Turn in storytelling to go from “the fans were right, this dynamic is wonderful and we’re going to base our advertising around it!” to “well, it was never supposed to be about that” is a kick to the teeth to a fanbase that (literally!) gave so much. 

It’s not as if this is the first time the fanbase has been disappointed by a writing decision. Speaking for myself, I was heavily disappointed by the way sexual assault was handled on the original incarnation of the show. Veronica’s rape was handled by at first not framing it as a sexual assault at all in “A Trip to the Dentist” - Duncan Kane (her ex-boyfriend/potential half-brother at some point in time) having sex with her while she was unconcious was framed as just “feelings and nature taking over” because he was under the influence. In season 3, the writers decided that framing women protesting sexual assault on campus as deranged feminists who sexually assault men by inserting them with Easter eggs was a good choice. That Easter egg part was played for laughs by the show, writers, and leading cast member. 

Even the inclusion of Dick Casablancas for laughs - whose GHB was intended for his girlfriend and ended up in Veronica’s cup - doesn’t feel right. Ryan Hansen’s charm explains a lot of it, but the show seems to place a lot more blame on Madison for Veronica’s rape despite the fact she narrowly escaped the same fate at Dick’s hands. I was disappointed then, and I’m still disappointed with it now - far away from any romantic concerns of the show.

And my biggest problem with the ending of season 4 isn’t just that Logan is dead. I’m incredibly crushed and disappointed to see all of that character development be met with an offscreen car-bomb, but it doesn’t bode well for Veronica’s characterization and ultimate arc either. I fell in love with Veronica’s character first, and I don’t even recognize her anymore.

If the movie was a thank you to the marshmallows (both the fans and Veronica’s inner softness), the ending of the show was a middle finger to both. If the lesson from the series and the film is that you fight for things because they’re worth it and not because they come easily (whether they be relationships or towns), then the lesson from the revival is that the best thing to do is leave and take your bags. So much of the narrative was set up around Veronica accepting who she was and where she’s from - and the revival’s Veronica has finally been traumatized so much she’s packing her bags and giving up. That’s not toughness. That’s not strength. That’s certainly not saving the show or the character. 

That’s selling a grim story because you think it’s edgy. That’s trying to be subversive and failing, too focused on shock value to care about the characters. There’s a reason shows like Game of Thrones, Dexter, and How I Met Your Mother got such backlash -- they just don’t make narrative sense and the endings are far from satisfying. Making the fans happy isn’t a mark of bad storytelling, especially when the survival of your franchise has been so contingent on it. Sometimes, they actually do know what they’re talking about! And if you want a season five, maybe don’t alienate your fans to a point they don’t recognize the show anymore. Rob mentioned, “...I will have made a really bad bet if, en masse, the fans turn on the show. That would certainly be a tough lesson to learn.” -- I think he accomplished that! 

I wish the Veronica Mars that got me through the toughest parts of my life was still around. But I’d rather say goodbye to her forever than be faced with a cheap imitation. 

[mistymark]

the one with the annotations.

dong sicheng x reader // 3.7k words // masterlist // send requests here

summary; in which sicheng keeps writing in the books at the library and it should be obvious but that’s,,, not,,, allowed???

warnings: none its just fluff, theres some humour if u like,, squint

requested; yes :D - “Enemies to lovers 👀 with sicheng? Love your writing btw 💕” from anon

notes; based on this prompt: ”You’ve got to stop returning books full of corrections and spiteful comments in red pen bc I can’t stop reading them and my boss gives me disapproving glares when I laugh at the funny ones

ohhhhh boi

so while you were at uni you had a part time job at the library

because surprise surprise as a lit major you like books

shocker there

you always tried to work the late shifts, closing up and doing the returns

just because it was easy and relaxing organising and restacking the books

but soon you wished you took the earlier shifts

because of dong sicheng

not to be dramatic but

your long rival

he started coming to the library to borrow books

because that’s kind of the point of a library

but he ended up liking the environment for studying

and would stay there for hours just to study

and you’d admire his hardworking nature

if he left on time, that is

you would do the rounds ten minutes before closing

just to tell everyone like

‘hey, we’ll be closing in around ten minutes if you want to begin packing up’

but this bitch

would nEVER PACK UP ON TIME

you’d end up standing at his table with your bag and the keys in your hand

tapping on the wood to try and get his attention

and him slowly packing up afterwards

even tho he kNOWS you want to go home

‘you’re just as slow as you were in kindergarten hey?’

and he’d be so furious

‘you know you cheated’

‘I don’t remember any such thing’

and maybe you did maybe you didn’t

you were like four years old

as if you’d remember a race you won when you were that age

he just rolls his eyes and leaves as you lock the doors

you leave in the other direction

happily leaving him behind

but he stops by every Monday Tuesday and Thursday night to study

which are the days you work as well

he acts like it’s just part of his schedule 

but he worked out if he came in on Wednesday’s he didn’t have the opportunity to annoy you

and honestly?

annoying you at the end of your shift and after a long session of studying was the highlight of his night

but he keeps borrowing books

and you’re like

whatever

until he borrows this new book you’ve been wanting to read for ages

and you were low-key so bitter

this lil bitch has no way of knowing you wanted that book but somehow he does and that’s the only reason he’s borrowed it

even though,, he literally had no idea lmao

tbh u probably would have wanted to talk to him about the books he reads bc u have very similar taste

okay the same taste

but he’s such an asshole ur like nah fam

anyways he returns it after a week

boy reads fast ok

and when he goes to drop it in the returns box

you just take it from his hand and scan it under your name straight away

and put it under the desk so no one else can borrow it

and when there’s a lull in the work at the library

you reach under the table for the book and rifle through it

and you notice a few pencil marks

and upon further inspection you realise they’re comments referencing certain parts of the book

and you do nOT stand for vandalism

but some of them are fuckin hilarious not gonna lie

on the page you just happened to open

you can see there’s a comment beside a passage of text depicting a fight scene

‘this would kill someone wtf’

and u laugh and wonder who had done this

like the book had only been out for a little while

and u finish it in just less than a week

bc u read a lot during your shifts

probably a lot more than you should tbh

and seriously the comments made the book better

you hadn’t laughed so hard at random commentary so much

like the words were exactly what you were thinking

you couldnt help it

while ur putting some of the books back in the middle of your shift

!!!! you see another book that u might like !!! 

not to judge a book by its cover butttttttt

it looks like ur type oop-

and after flipping through it

to get an idea of font size and chapter length cause ur a whole nerd like that

u see it ALSO has pencil markings

in the borders and underlining sentences

and without even thinking u borrow it

just to read the funny comments again

and ur boss comes up to you during your shift and is like

‘have you seen someone’s been writing in the books? look at this’

and thrusts a book in ur face

and ur like ??????? okay chill I’ll look

and u read the writing she’s pointing at

the familiar loopy handwriting adorning the page

and it says ‘I hope she throws her drink in his face’

when u read the paragraph for context

u realise it’s a confession scene

a few lines down the mystery person has written ‘called it.’

and u can’t help but laugh

like come on that was funny

but ur boss doesn’t agree

she just asks you to find out who’s doing it so they can be suspended from the library

or charged with vandalism

or something

she wants vengeance

u roll ur eyes and go to one of the staff computers

scrolling through the lists of borrowers for that specific book

and it’s a fuckin library that book has been borrowed a loT

2031 times ???????????????

you almost fall of your chair tbh

then someone clears their throat in front of u

and u immediately apologise as u try and get the right tab up to process the borrower’s book

but once u look at the person in front of u

you wish you hadn’t been so nice

sicheng stands in front of you

a grin on his face as he hands you another book

smug bitch is so happy he startled u

‘looking at porn on the library computer, yn?’

u laugh

‘I’m not u in 8th grade’

he glares at you as he takes his book and goes back to his desk to continue studying

u were soooo hoping he’d leave

even tho u kinda enjoyed looking at him

like dude was hot okay

what were u supposed to do????

ur actual job????

please.

so he stays

and when it’s ten minutes til closing

u go and let everyone know

and u stop at sichengs table

and he’s writing out notes or something

idk it’s not like u care anyway lol

but he’s lowkey frustrated bc he keeps messing up this one goddamn formula

so he erases it

and that’s when u catch a glimpse of his handwriting

and bruh am I high or is that the exact same handwriting as in the books

I mean he has borrowed a few of the books

and he’s into that genre

not that you've checked out his borrowed list or anything

basically ur having this whole conversation with yourself in your head

bc ur cool like that

and he’s like ????? why this bitch standing over my shoulder and watching me write out this equation

until he’s like ‘what are u doing’

and ur like !!!!! oh hi !!! sorry I was busy listening to the voices in my head lmao xD

jk jk

‘have u been writing in the books’

and suddenly he’s super shy

and he has this massive grin

and he’s like ‘no’

bitch we know it was u stfu

u roll ur eyes and ur like ‘its not funny my boss wants you to be suspended’

he squints at you

‘how do you even know it was me’

and then:

‘DO YOU HAVE E V I D E N C E’

and u cross your arms

like a badass bitch

and ur like ‘I have plenty of evidence actually’

‘for one, youve borrowed all the books that have been found with writing’

‘and your handwriting matches’

subconsciously he covers his notebook with his arm to hide his handwriting

and he's like ‘why are u telling me this’

you're taken aback by the question tbh

like ?????? to be a good person ??????

idk u fuckwit just wanted to warn you

‘thought you'd want to know’

and he just turns back to his book

and you shrug and walk away like ok get suspended then see if I care

but u do :((

but as you walk away hes like

‘wait’

‘Im gonna be suspended??’

and u nod like ye that's what I just said but ok

‘like I cant borrow or I cant come in at all?’

u don't know tbh

‘both I think?’

and suddenly there's panic in his eyes

another person walks past u and thanks u

and u mindlessly tell them to have a good night as they leave

everyone has left

except sicheng of course

that beautiful son of a-

wait why did u say beautiful

‘what can I do to nOT get suspended??’

and u shrug bc idk dude not my problem

but then u think about it

‘I mean if u get rid of the evidence theres no way u can be suspended, right?’

and he seems so happy at the thought

‘would you help me? please?’

and ur sooooooo skeptical

‘depends. what do u want to me to do?’

‘I mean I need access to the books so’

‘yeah ill let u in and out’

‘I can't exactly just erase the markings when people could be watching’

and that's exactly how you end up sitting in the library with dong sicheng at 11pm at night rifling through books to find odd pencil markings to erase

it wasnt that hard

u just got his record up

*snorts* ‘you borrowed ‘how to talk to girls’ when we were thirteen’

and he just rolled his eyes and marched to the computer like ‘you can see my record I deserve to see yours’

and ur like NOOOOOO nononononono

but later

‘you've read all the light-fighter novels??’

he looks at you from where hes searching for one of the books on the list, an eyebrow raised

‘yeah why’

‘dude,, I loved those books’

and he smiles a little

‘thats where I started marking the books tbh, every time I read it id add a little cross in the corner of the cover bc I read it so often’

part of u is a little impressed

the other is annoyed at how similar your taste in books is

but the first part keeps asking why u hate him so much

other than the staying late and the snarky comments

which you actually find kinda funny-

anyways

once you've gathered up a few of the books

like at least ten each

you sit on the floor of the childrens section

beanbags sprawled out beneath you as u read through some of the books

most of them you've read before

and every time you giggle at something hes written his smile gets a little bigger

but of course youre looking at the book so you dont notice

and he keeps his head down

‘is it bad that im hungry’

you lift your head from the book to look at sicheng

hes not even reading anymore hes just lounging back on the beanbags

and maybe he'd been watching u read

watching as the smile on your face grew wider at his commentary

‘I didnt see you leave tonight. have u eaten?’

you furrow your brows in thought, trying to recall having seen him leave

‘you been watching me, y/n?’

‘have you been eating, sicheng?’

and there's something about the way you say his name that makes his heart jump

his voice is soft as he looks at you in the dark

‘no’

you focus back on the book in front of you

‘finish whatever book youre on and we’ll call it a night’

‘what, you wanna go eat?’ 

you cant tell if hes just surprised or if hes hopeful

or something else

‘no but I do want to sleep’

you laugh and he forces a laugh too

you dont notice the difference

when you've returned all the books

he meets you at the front door as you grab the book you'd been reading that shift

hes just standing by the door on his phone

and maybe its bc ur tired or maybe its just him

but u cant help thinking

Jesus Christ this boy is attractive

and okay maybe u had a crush on him a few years ago

but hey! you were eleven what could u do

the crush still lasted like two years tho lmao

but u shoulder your bag and open the door for him

making sure to lock it carefully

and he walks with you in the direction of your apartment

and ur like oh u live this way too?

and hes like nah

but what kind of boy would he be if he didnt accompany home

like christ y/n u could be h u r t out here at this time of night

but you just smile at him bc wow thats ??? actually ??? kinda sweet

‘who are u and what have u done with dong sicheng’

and there goes his heart again

he just nudges u with his elbow 

and u laugh at him and continue on ur way

when u get to ur building he thanks u for ur help in the most polite way possible

and u can kind of see that hes actually rlly nice ??? how ???

but hes back at the library the next day

and of course he comes up to the counter as soon as he spots you

sneaking around a few desks so u dont hear him come up behind you to whisper ‘BOO!’ in your ear

you jump like three feet in the air and spin around to tell him to get out from behind the desk

‘I dont see a nametag on u that means u have to be on THAT side of the desk thank u very much’

‘didnt realise your name tag said bitch on it geeeez y/n ://’

and u just fix him with a glare once hes finally on the right side

‘are u borrowing a book or not’

‘nuP’

he leans on the desk

his eyes staring straight into yours

‘just wanted to ask if u were able to stay back tonight’

you roll ur eyes

you'd barely gotten any sleep last night

but the look of concern on his face when he realises youre hesitating makes you nod

‘of course,, wouldnt want my least favourite person to get kicked out’

‘I always knew you had a soft spot for me’

you roll ur eyes aGAiN

‘go bother someone else’

‘oh is the hot librarian in?’

you push him away from the desk

but he doesnt miss the faint smile on ur lips

‘sicheng dont make me give you $100 in overdue book fees’

he sticks his hands up at the threat, his eyes wide

‘no. please. ill do anything’

when u raise an eyebrow at him, he just grabs the book you'd been reading (and not yet borrowed) and walks away

and he winks too

u have to stop your heart from beating out of its chest

and later

its 8pm and the library is officially closing

and for the past three hours you'd been walking to sicheng’s desk and subtly been trying to steal your book back

but every single time hes seen you coming

and pulled the book under the desk or into his lap

away from your grabbing hands

every. single. time.

you tap your foot impatiently at him when its time to continue ur undercover project

and he smiles down at his notebook when he hears u huff in annoyance at him

he dramatically looks up at you

‘do you need something?!’

‘do you want to get suspended?!’

he narrows his eyes at you but stands up anyway

he carefully puts his things in his bag and takes the list of books from your hands

a few of them are already crossed out as having been checked and erased

but theres still a lot to go

it takes you almost three weeks to finally get to the last day

and it had been the same thing every time;

sicheng took forever to pack up

you'd eventually find about ten books each

sit in the children’s section

laugh and chat about your lives while you went through the books

tease each other

and when you'd finished,

he'd walk you home

every single time

without fail

it became a habit that on the Tuesdays he'd stop by on his way to his morning class to drop coffee off for you

because he'd kept you up the night before

and it became easy to lose track of time with sicheng

he was just so engaging

there was no part of you that felt bored or uncomfortable with him

yeah he was annoying and infuriating

but his good book taste made up for it

and his annotations in the margins of the books too

‘is this the last of them?’

he squints down at the page again, counting the books on the table again

its the third time hes counted

‘surely ive read more than this’

‘not from this library ://’

you blow your hair out from your face and look down at the pile

‘you know, I think my manager is starting to get really suspicious of me’

‘why’ he looks up briefly from his book to read your face

but you try and remain calm

‘well she only told me about the markings right. and now theyre disappearing’

he looks at you like ?????

‘well she knows ive been closing up late... I think she thinks I did it’

he laughs ‘you? has she met you?’

you pout and throw a pillow at him

‘HEY! what's that supposed to mean :((’

‘it means ive never met someone who's so protective over books as you’

you think about it, chewing ur bottom lip

‘lets just finish this’

‘do u want to get food after’

he surprises you with the sudden question

and the slight nervousness thats evident on his face really makes you want to say yes

but you have a class tomorrow

and you always try and finish up here earlier on a Thursday night

‘cant :((’

he nods and goes back to readng

theres silence for a while

but you find it comfortable

sicheng on the other hand, feels as though hes just been shot down

like

you just turned down his date

you've kinda noticed hes more reserved now

quiet

but rlly hes just kind of embarrassed

until u say something that gives him hope

‘I,, uh, I dont have plans tomorrow night’

and ngl boy is stunned

‘just if u wanted to go see a movie or something idk’

now its ur turn to be embarrassed

u hope ur hair is hiding ur face as u look back down at the book in ur lap bc no doubt ur blushing

but sicheng is just staring at you

and

before even saying anything

he leans over the gap between you

with all the books

and hovers in front of your face

ur so shocked and ur heart is beating way too hard and fast and ur breathing is too quick to be normal are you having an attack I dont know-

and then he leans forward a little bit more

and his lips meet yours

and suddenly its like a fireworks display went off inside you

and then its almost midnight on a Thursday night and ur sitting in the children's section of your workplace in the beanbags with sicheng cupping ur face and kissing you

he just really needed to kiss you

like more than he needed air

and when u finally pull back

he loves how breathless you are

how you have to fight to keep the smile off your face

how you stare at him with wide eyes

‘so its a date then?’

you blush even redder

and nod

‘ye its a date :))’

but for the next fifteen minutes you sit in stunned silence together

small smiles playing on your faces

until u look at your watch and ur like

‘shit sicheng I have to go’

and his eyes widen bc holy crap u were supposed to leave like half an hour ago

so u both sprint around the library trying to put all the books back

and he meets you at the door again after you've grabbed the keys and made sure everything that needed to be locked was,,, u know,, locked

and when ur walkign to the door again

hes on his phone

u cant see but hes texting his friends about what happened lmao what a softie

and when u walk out together

without thinking he grabs your hand

and u walk home

hand in hand

after midnight

he clears his throat

‘so uh,, when actually is our date’

‘my last class ends at 5-’

‘so 5 it is’

‘are u sure??’

he nods happily

and he presses a gentle kiss to ur forehead when u get to ur doorstep

‘ill see u tomorrow’

but the next day

when u come out of your last class

a little giddy

a little too excited

and see him leaning against one of the stone pillars

effortlessly handsome

you feel your heart flip

and maybe ur just tired or maybe its him

but hes really attractive

like really really attractive

its actually just that youre in love with him

he doesnt see you coming

too focused on something on his phone

but he definitely sees you when you push his hand out to the side and step onto ur toes to kiss him

and u can feel him smile a little as he kisses you back

‘ready for that date?’

‘yeah, where are we going’

‘so I was thinking we could go to the libra- HEY! dont hit me I was j o k i n g y/n jesus christ’

[alltheangstmygifttoyou]

A Real Hero

A/N: Augh I love this part so much. Welcome to part nine of the Learn To Be Prequel and today we are from Jester’s perspective looking at the start of a very important event in her life. Some day I’m going to write this part from June’s perspective so everyone else in the world can have the same context I do but for now everyone is left in the dark and I’m left to cry about a minor character in my own story.

Summery: Jester is given a letter from Father that leaves her upset so she goes to her room to calm down. But while she’s in her room she notices some drama going down with June in the open dormitory. Shit hits the fan.

Word Count: 2647

TW: violence, mentioned child abuse, death

The dinner hall was alight with hundreds of voices excitedly telling each other about their days. On the left side of the hall Jesse sat with a group of friends, on the right Jester sat alone. She could join her twin brother’s table, but it was clear that Jesse didn’t like her there. The only one who did like her at that table was Jackson. To compromise, Jester only sat at that table during breakfast, no one told her to avoid the table afterwards, but they didn’t need to. Jester didn’t want to upset Jesse, but she was tired of being alone. The fact that Jesse didn’t want her around wasn’t surprising but it still left her aching.

 A balding staff member covered in sagging wrinkles tossed a white envelope in front of Jester. Despite the closeness between the tables and bodies the staff member took special care to not touch Jester. Rolling her eyes Jester took the envelope and saw her family seal. The green wax formed in the shape of a shield with four different sections, each with symbols Jester had seen a thousand times before. A fist in the top right for strength, a heart in the top left for love, a thorned rose in the bottom right for defense, and a bloody dagger in the bottom left for a sharp mind. Jester took what satisfaction she could out of breaking the seal but it was gone when she pulled the letter out. As always the envelope carried two letters, one for Jester and one for Jesse. If Jester liked what Mother had to tell Jesse she’d give him his letter tomorrow morning, if not, he didn’t need to see. Jester had already kept two letters this year. Mother could be very harsh in her letters about his grades and choices in friends. Jesse didn’t need that. The most important letter was Father’s anyway, and Jesse never saw those.

Father’s instructions were clear, list out the rest of section fifteen powers from years four and below. The younger the easier to manipulate. Although the last line in the letter made Jester struggle to not crumple the letter into a little ball. ‘Get closer to Jackson, he’ll need emotional support soon, and it needs to be clear the Quinn family will be there for him.’ Jester didn’t know what Father was planning, but he had to be planning something. He was going to hurt Jackson’s mom’s business was Jester’s best guess. She knew he would make her take advantage of the one friend she had. Jester could warn him, but her ribs ached, an echo of Father’s last lesson. Frustration welled up and Jester slammed her fist on the table before grabbing her bag and storming off to her room. The long walk managed to only irritate her further as the halls were filled with people hanging out together, smiling, laughing, things Jester had to spend her day faking or holding in.

The section fifteen girls dormitory main room was empty. It’s dirty dull beige walls less comforting than the pristine white of home. Nowhere should have felt worse than home but this place managed it. The urge to break the two broken chairs completely was causing her fists to shake but she went to her room. June wasn’t in there for once which Jester couldn’t be more thankful for. She tossed the letters into her duffel bag and kicked her mattress as hard as she could. It jumped a little but it didn’t go far. The only result was Jester’s foot hurt. Taking a deep breath Jester tried to think of a productive way to unleash the energy. She had posters she wanted to put up, some nails, and a hammer in the bag she had remembered when packing up. Learn To Be didn’t search bags for weapons and section fifteen didn’t seem to get room checks often. In a dormitory full of dangerous powerful people having a weapon couldn’t hurt her odds of survival. Plus she couldn’t find the tape at home.

With more force than necessary Jester put up five posters, each with four nails. She would have continued but she hadn’t brought anything else to put up. Her photo wall at home was too private to have in a room she shared. The only reason she had the posters in the first place was because they were sponsored by Father’s company. She didn’t put them up in her room at home because they were just random motivational quotes splashed in color, but they were better than plain and stained walls. Jester was sweating but she felt like her chest wasn’t as heavy. She put the hammer and extra nails away and grabbed her make-up wipes and took all of the work she had put on her face off. Tomorrow she would wear something extra nice, have her face done with as much precision as she could, and she would be the manipulative devil her Father wanted, but tonight she wanted to be Jester, whoever she was. A twin with her first friend that she didn’t want to lose.

Jester laid on her dirty mattress trying to figure out a way to show Jackson that she did truly appreciate him. Not because Father liked him but because he was nice to her. He reached out when no one else did. She thought back to Basics and what they would do for each other during the holidays. A handmade card would be nice. All she had to work with was notebook paper, a pencil, and a pen with black ink, which shook her determination a bit but she tried to keep in mind it was the thought that counted. Jackson wouldn’t be judging it for imperfections like Mother and Father.

Jester folded the notebook paper hamburger style and began sketching fancy lettering for the front ‘Thank you’. With the little room left at the bottom Jester tried to draw a bust of a cartoon Jackson. It was lopsided no matter how many times she erased and tried again so she put a heart at the bottom. But that could be confused as romantic and Jester was sure Father wouldn’t like it if she entered a relationship without permission. On the other hand she had told herself she wouldn’t worry about Father tonight. In the end she erased the heart and put an arch of stars differing in size. On the inside of the card she wrote a smaller message ‘for being my friend’ in her regular script. On the right page of the inside she drew two hands holding on to each other, something Jackson and her had never done but she was pretty sure that friends did. Jesse used to hold her hand, but they were twins so their relationship wasn’t a good baseline.

As Jester went through the steps of making the card look nice, lining with the pen, adding contrast through cross hatching, and signing her name on the back, two things occurred to her. One, the broken light in her room had been on longer than ever before, and two, June still hadn’t come in. Perhaps it wasn’t any of her business, June certainly didn’t care about her, but Jester was still worried. She carefully tucked Jackson’s card into her notebook and ventured out of her little room.

The dormitory was brighter than usual, the cracks underneath all the closed doors revealed their lights were working, at least temporarily. Walking into the main form entrance Jester realized that leaving her room was a mistake. There were at least fifteen people in the big room, not close to full, but many more than usual. Three girls blocked the exit and two stood at the edges to the hall. Jester walked toward them. In the middle of the room June faced off against a group of older girls wearing nice clean clothes. Jester recognized a couple from people in upper sections she had talked business and powers with once for Father’s list. There were two guys in the center as well. Something was about to go down. Jester wanted no part in it, but her thoughts needled her about leaving June. This looked like it wouldn’t end pretty for the red head.

“What do you want?” One of the girls by the entrance snapped. She had short curly brown hair and at least five inches on Jester.

“What’s going on? All the lights are on…” Jester was happy to not have makeup on for once. She looked her age a bit more without it. The taller girl’s frown deepened and her hip jutted out further.

“That’s nothing for you to worry about kid, just go back to your room.” The tall girl spat with the haughtiness of a spoiled princess. Jester looked past the tall girl as she spoke to see electricity crackling around a blonde moving towards June. June didn’t back up, she just glared forward. Given June’s power to kill, Jester doubted June had much to fear.

“Go kid,” the tall girl snapped and Jester turned around to head back. Part of her wanted to summon that girl's greatest fear, but that would just cause problems. As Father had told her, patience brings rewards.

Her freshly decorated room was still too boring to bring any comfort. Instead, the posters just reminded her of Father. She was tempted to sit with her ear to the door, but she couldn’t hear anything when the tall girl was in front of her so she definitely would hear anything now with a closed door and thirty feet of hall between them. All that was left to do was wait-- something Jester had practice at. She worked on homework for math but it didn’t take long. The numbers added up tight.

After a quarter of an hour just sitting in thought Jester’s light bulb seemed to shine brighter, but a high pitch whine stung her ears, Covering her ears with her hands and squeezing her eyes shut, she missed seeing the light bulb burst. Glass flew around the room, one piece lightly grazing her right arm. Despite her eyes being shut, she could sense the room darken. While the whine was gone, a muffled yelling could be heard. Slowly Jester opened her eyes and blinked a few times to let her eyes get adjusted. There was no light under the door crack anymore, meaning the other lights had either gone out or shattered too. Despite this as her eyes adjusted Jester could see blobs of motion. Doors were slamming into walls and female voices overlapped all trying to figure out what happened. It would be stupid to go out in that mess, a bunch of dangerous kids stuck in the dark, but Jester wanted to know what was happening first hand. She swept the glass out of her way with the slow movement of her feet before she pulled open her door.

The hallway was full of girls, young and older teens alike trying to push their way to the opening room of the dormitory, their pathetic excuse of a living room, and the only place to exit in the whole dorm. It was easy to follow the flow but once they were closer to the living room itself no one was moving. People were yelling, telling the ones at the front to go but they weren’t moving. Some people started pushing their way through and Jester joined them, although many of those who had been pushing stopped when they got to the front too, Jester just pushed them out of the way as well. Once in the main dorm room she moved out and to the side, out of the way of them all. Everything was difficult to make out but there were definitely people huddled on the floor and two figures yelling at another shorter figure. Unable to understand over the cacophony of noise, Jester edged her way around the room, staying close to the wall, until she was facing the back of the figure on the receiving end of the yelling. Now that she was closer it seemed like the one being yelled at was June, and the guys from earlier were yelling.

“You fucking killed her you psycho bitch!” A deep voice shouted and Jester couldn’t help but look back at the huddle of people. It’s possible they were surrounding a body. The thought made her stomach drop. Jester looked toward the exit to see people running towards it. Opening the doors allowed light from the schools hallways to seep in. June stood in front of Jester holding her left shoulder, the huddle of bodies were mainly the girls from the upper sections. A few of them moved towards the light showing that a body did indeed lay on the floor. From the hallway people in the front began to scream shrill sounds that echoed throughout the room. Many of them pushed their way backwards through the crowd only for the next line of people to see and panic as well.

Jester was acutely aware of the power of fear, after all it is what her power caused, and what fueled her Father’s power. While rage was a good way to get people to lash out with their power, fear had the tendency to make people lose control. The students that had broken in seemed to realize that causing a panic in the dormitory for people with dangerous powers was a terrible idea and began to back away from the screaming mass.

The first sign of trouble came when the darkness itself seemed to begin to move on its own, pushing people back. People were slammed against the walls by the living shadow. Then as the shadows attacked people became defensive, someone began spitting at the shadows, and where the globs landed the floor caught fire. The older students began running out of the dorm, trained to keep their powers in control in a stressful situation, while the younger students had barely begun to learn. The boys in front of June made a break for it, one running incredibly fast leaving the other behind. June watched on, her shoulders slumped. The exit was propped open at this point from the constant stream of people escaping so it was easy to see inside, the fires popping up helped the light situation as well. There were people lying on the floor next to the walls, Jester hoped they were just unconscious. Most of the screams left were guttural and seemed to be from pain more than panic. Shadows waved randomly from the hall, whoever summoning them obviously not in any sort of control. June turned to leave only to spot Jester.

“You said you’d stop following me,” her words were grumbled but lacked conviction.

“This seemed the safest place to stand,” Jester responded shrugging. The fact that this was happening felt absurd. “Are you okay?” That question felt more appropriate to the situation.

“You should see the other guy,” June rubbed her shoulder as she spoke. Jester looked at where there had been the group of people only to see a lone body with blonde hair laying on the floor. Blood seeped out of the nose and mouth, and the eyes appeared to be open. “You should get out kid. This isn’t going to go well.” June always looked tired, but Jester remembered the conviction the redhead had always had. It was gone now.

“Am I going to see you again?” Jester asked, they weren’t friends, but they could have been. Jester could see herself becoming June in the future, if she played her cards wrong.

“You’re going to be the only one in the room, enjoy.” June’s bitter tone made Jester’s lips pucker. “Seriously, go away Jester,” and Jester listened, only because she hadn’t known June cared enough to learn her name.

[gerec]

In Defence of Professor X

Or My Spoiler-y Thoughts on everything Charles Xavier in Dark Phoenix

Previous Post: Spoiler-y Thoughts on Dark Phoenix

Also: Non Spoiler-y Thoughts on Dark Phoenix

So I came away from the movie with a lot of thoughts and feelings about Charles and his arc in Dark Phoenix, and I want to try and get them down into one (hopefully!) cohesive post. Overall, I would say that I’m fine with Charles’ role in this movie, but maybe it’s because I don’t think he’s as wrong or as bad as the other characters make him out to be (or the way the film tries to frame as his failures):

‘Charles is bad for altering Jean’s memories of the accident’ Listen folks I said this before the movie and I’ll say it again; Charles made a choice to protect Jean and I think he made the only choice he could at that time to ensure that she could eventually grow to learn to accept herself and her mutation. She’s an eight year old child with incredible telepathic and telekinetic powers, who just inadvertently caused the death of her own mother, causing her own father to be afraid of her and reject her as a lost cause. She’s already so afraid of herself and the powers she can’t control; imagine the additional guilt of knowing it was all her fault these terrible things happened? Look at how she’s reacting now as an adult woman and imagine what it would have been like for her to try and process it as a child? And also to be utterly rejected by the one parent she has left? Yes, Charles absolutely should have told her the truth when she was old enough to understand it, and it was definitely a failure on his part to not come clean in all the years between XMA and DP when Jean had a good hold of her powers and a support network in place to help her process that childhood trauma. But you can’t convince me that initial decision was superbadwrong, and everything that happened with Jean afterwards was his fault (as the movie tries to frame it); sometimes being a parent means you have to pick the least shitty option from a buffet of bad options. 

‘Charles is a politician and enjoys having a platform to spread his message of integration’

This is bad...why? Charles has achieved what he’s tried to do his whole life; to try to get humans to co-exist with mutants. He’s done what Erik and Raven have both said they wanted - for mutants to live openly without being hated and feared. Instead of (reciprocated) violence and intimidation he’s using his natural charm and his privilege and influence to promote mutants as valued members of society, and in the process the X-Men have become heroes, becoming role models for both mutants and humans. I mean it’s easy to be cynical about politicians especially given the current state of world events but I don’t see why any of what he does can/should be construed negatively? And I certainly do not see how this is entirely for his own benefit vs. for the benefit of mutants all over? Is it because he’s good at it and he maybe likes doing it? Because he was born to a life of privilege and knows how to navigate the halls of the wealthy elite? Or because it feels good and he’d rather live a life being embraced instead of hunted and hated? I guess the only legitimate way to fight for mutants and the cause is to bleed for it, or smash things and kill people I guess which leads to...

‘Charles puts the lives of his own people at risk to save humans’

I thought it was extremely ironic to hear Raven of all people reducing the X-Men to a bunch of ‘kids’ to be protected, instead of a group of adults (Quicksilver should be 37 by now if he was say 17 in DOFP, and the others at least 27) capable of making their own decisions. I wrote about it in this post here - that during the space mission Charles is constantly asking the team for their opinions on what can/can’t be done (he doesn’t force them) and letting them determine the course of action (with his encouragement yes). And the very nature of a superhero team means taking risks and saving people, human or mutant; I think the conflict here between Charles and Raven stems very naturally from how they each view the world - Raven doesn’t care about humans and demands to live in society on their (mutants’) terms while Charles wants mutants to be a part of it, and sees value in the lives of ‘both’. I personally didn’t see someone who valued humans over his own people; I saw someone who was confident in and proud of his team’s ability and their capabilities.

Other Random Thoughts

- Charles’ reaction to Raven’s death was ooc, and I don’t know if it was an acting choice on McAvoy’s part or the direction, but it came off as unfeeling and callous. We spent almost all of DOFP with Charles mourning the hole that Raven left in his life, and it was jarring to see the lack of emotion conveyed on screen. Hopefully the scene of Charles at Raven’s grave makes it back in the blu ray, to give some context to that bizarre scene in the kitchen with Hank.

- I surprisingly didn’t hate Raven in this movie, because it was clear to me that she would never see or understand (or care about) Charles’ POV or his motivation. Charles’ way is too slow, too methodical, too big picture for her, and is too inclusive of the humans in his desire to educate and lead them all down a path of coexistence. Raven feels no affinity to humans and is wholly other; Charles greatest and most effective gift is empathy. She was always going to feel constrained living with Charles’ ideals and his goals, no matter that he’s helped steer them all to a present where she’s lauded as a hero. It really would have been better for all of them if she and Hank had left and carved out a life together, though I honestly don’t know what that life would entail...

- There’s no reason to believe Charles didn’t willingly retire from the School (and change the name in honour of his daughter - because yes that what she was to him) and hand the reins over to Hank, assuming he does this after he has to fix the whole ‘humans are a constant disappointment and in fact exactly as reactive and paranoid as he knew they would be when he told Raven they were always only one disaster away from hating and hunting them again’. But being constantly unappreciated and blamed for all the ills of the world has to be exhausting, and I’m glad he hung up his cufflinks to be a farmer with Erik and live happily ever after.

- BUT ALSO CHARLES XAVIER HAS NOTHING BUT LOVE IN HIS HEART FOR ALL MUTANTS AND HIS FAMILY AND ESPECIALLY THE SISTER WHO LOVED HIM BUT NEVER CARED TO UNDERSTAND HIM AND THE DAUGHTER WHO IS THE MOST LIKE HIM OF ALL HIS STUDENTS AND HE WOULD CARVE HIS OWN HEART OUT TO MAKE HER LIFE BETTER 

[upstartpoodle]

Evens for the WIP meme ask? Thank you! ❤️

Hi, thanks for the ask! Since the number of WIPs I have are well into double figures, I’ll probably just choose a bunch of random ones for these out of the ones I’ve got on my computer.

2. Post a line from your WIP without context.

Once they had returned home, he had wanted nothing more than to head up to his room and hide, but his uncle’s iron grip on his upper arm pulling him into the drawing room had thwarted that wish. He hadn’t dared fight against the man. Uncle Cary had made it quite clear upon his arrival back from school that he expected to be obeyed in all matters, and George knew his future was far too uncertain to risk provoking his only remaining family member with displays of defiance. 

4. Describe the setting of your WIP.

Hmm, I think I’ll go for my JS&MN AU for this one, an extract of which I have posted here. So this is basically an AU set in the universe of the novel Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell--for anyone who might be unfamiliar with it, it’s a book (and a pretty decent TV adaptation) set in a regency England where magic was once frequently practised but has declined after the Raven King, a medieval magician who conquered the north of England with a fairy army, left his kingdom behind to return to Faerie. The fic is set in Poldark’s s1 timeline, so about fifteen/twenty years before the events of JS&MN canon, featuring Dwight, Ross and Francis as magicians, George as a fairy nobleman from a neighbouring Faerie kingdom, and Elizabeth as a magician’s wife whom George ends up taking an interest in.

6. Search for the word “dream” in your WIP. If you find it, paste the line and explain the context.

I haven’t been able to find it in any of the extracts I have on my computer, but I’m sure it’s probably there somewhere in one of my notebooks. Unfortunately the majority of those are in a box over three hundred miles away so I can’t really check through them ha.

8. What is your biggest challenge?

Actually getting anything finished. Honestly, it depends on the individual fic but for a long time it’s been writer’s block. My undergrad dissertation took a lot out of me and I wasn’t really in the mood for writing for a long time afterwards. S5 airing gave me a bit of a kick up the arse writing-wise though, so I’d say my biggest challenge at the moment is trying to figure out where everything goes in my super long post s5 AU where George gets shot by Hanson. At the moment I’ve just got loads and loads of random bits with only a vague idea of what order they go in and how they join up to each other, and it’s getting to be so long I just keep putting off planning it out properly. Also finishing that last chapter of The Cornish Way damn I can’t even remember when I last updated that I feel so guilty about it ha.

10. How would you describe your WIP’s narrative style?

Well, as I’ve already mentioned I have a whooole bunch of WIPs, but I always write in 3rd person (1st person grates on me, both reading and writing, for some reason--I don’t know why). I’ve got several multi-chap fics in the works, some short, some long. Most of my shorter multi-chap fics tend to alternate between Elizabeth’s POV and George’s, but my long post s5 AU will feature the majority of the characters’ POVs at some point, depending on when they’re needed, though since the fic is George-centric, his perspective is the main one. When it comes to my one-shots, they’re usually either from George or Elizabeth’s perspectives, sometimes both if it’s a particularly long one. I tend to lean towards using Elizabeth’s POV for one-shots for some reason, but there’s a fair few from George’s as well, and a couple of angsty ones told entirely from Valentine’s perspective.

12. Which character do you have the least in common with?

Since my post s5 AU includes Merceron, Hanson and Dr Penrose, I’m glad to say that I haven’t the slightest thing in common with any of those three. But if we’re talking about a main character, I’d say probably Ross. The only thing I have in common with him is a tendency to get fed up at parties ha.

14. Have you chosen birthdays for any of your characters? If so, when are they?

Not really--tbh, I’m not sure how many of them, if any, were given birthdays by WG. I tend to headcanon George’s birthday as being in October, but that’s about it.

16. What would your characters be for Hallowe’en?

Well, I’ve got a couple of WIPs set in the modern era which this could work for, but since one of them is a modern witchcraft AU (in which Elizabeth, Caroline, Demelza, Morwenna and Verity live together in Truro as a secret coven of witches, Francis is a melancholy ghost who haunts the building and they’ve never been able to exorcise, and George, their landlord’s nephew, is their baffled neighbour who only puts up with their weird shenanigans because he has a soft spot for Elizabeth), I guess that’s appropriately Hallowe’en-y ha. For that AU, I reckon Elizabeth would probably dress up as something kind of classy, like as an Ancient Greek lady or a medieval queen, something like that. Caroline would dress up as a witch, I reckon, for the sake of irony (Horace, of course, would have a complementary costume :P). Verity, I think, would make a cute angel, and one of those wood nymph/woodland fairy costumes would probably suit Demelza. Morwenna might dress up as a Hogwarts student or something like that, and Francis insists that since he is an actual, literal ghost, there’s no need for him to dress up. George, on the other hand, absolutely does not do Hallowe’en, but they still manage to drag him down from the flat upstairs, put a pair of little Devil horns on him and make him watch scary films with them. Which he hates every minute of. Absolutely. Totally.

18. What’s easier, dialogue or description?

It depends, but I generally find description easier than dialogue. When I have dialogue-heavy scenes to write, I generally write them out in my notebooks basically in script form so I can figure out where the scene is going and once that’s out of the way, I find it much easier to add all the description in around it rather than having to constantly stop to figure out what the characters are meant to be saying to each other.

20. Post a brief excerpt.

So there’s a whole load to choose from, but I’ve decided to go with this one, which is from a ghost Elizabeth AU I’ve been working on ever since the end of s4 and have been really struggling to get on with because there’s so much bloody angst in it ha :--

The days leading up to Christmas dragged slowly on, and with each long hour that passed, George found himself regretting his decision to allow their initial plans for the festivities to go ahead with ever increasing certainty. The Blameys were neither unkind nor insensitive—quite the opposite in fact; their presence seemed to restore some faint but much needed cheer to Geoffrey Charles, and the company of another boy near his own age had restored Valentine to a fraction of his usual liveliness—but he, who had never been a friend to Verity, and was not well acquainted with her husband or stepchildren, felt the constant pressure of their scrutiny, alongside the horrible awareness of his own inadequacy as their host, whenever he found himself in their company. Verity, in particular, had taken to sending him at frequent intervals, whenever she saw him decline a meal, or else stumbled across him staring up at Elizabeth’s portrait hanging above the mantelpiece in the drawing room, what he had come to refer to in his mind as Looks. Verity had always been a kind and well-meaning soul, but there was a distinct pitying quality to those Looks which he had come to both resent and despise. He could have far more easily borne it if she had scorned his conduct. Her pity, however, wounded what little care he could summon for his pride in the wake of Elizabeth’s loss—he had no need to be reminded of the wretched creature he was fast becoming every time he met her gaze.

Finally, after what seemed like an age, the morning of Christmas Eve came. It had snowed once again during the night, and upon seeing the unblemished blanket of white through the window upon waking, Valentine and young master Andrew had rushed outside, accompanied by the Blameys Senior and Junior and Geoffrey Charles, in order to enjoy it. As the young Esther, whom it had not taken George long to discover was somewhat reticent in nature, had elected to break her fast in her room, that, unfortunately, left he and Verity alone together at the dining table, save for little Ursula, who was playing quietly and contentedly with her own feet in her cradle beside his chair. At barely a few weeks old, however, she was not quite an accomplished enough conversationalist to distract Verity from engaging with him. With a barely audible sigh, George reached for a slice of toast despite his lack of appetite in a vague hope of fending off another Look which he was sure was on the verge of rearing its unwelcome head above the horizon.

“I am glad to see that the boys have regained a little of their usual cheer,” she spoke up suddenly, causing George to pause halfway towards taking a bite out of his unwanted toast; a glance her way confirmed that, despite his best efforts, he was being treated to what could only be described as a Look. “It is a terrible thing to lose one’s parent, no matter one’s age, and certainly not a burden one should face so early in life.”

WIP Ask Game

[theorynexus]

This would seem to bring us to Post Number 60, the 62nd post of this series, if you count the decimalized ones.

LAST TIME ON MEAT EPILOGUE It would seem we are returning to John and Terezi, this time--- wooo!~   Apparently, he looks pretty bad. This is unfortunate. On the other hand:  YES, MEAT EPILOGUE CHAPTER/SECTION 6!!!

Hey, don’t try to shame John for being the sub in this situation. It’s not like he has experience with that kind of thing (not that it’s something generally to be ashamed of: I’m just saying that it is something he seems to be somewhat embarrassed about, and his inexperience meant that it wasn’t exactly by choice on his part--- which is not to suggest that Terezi molested him in any way).  Aaaannnd Trolls (especially highbloods) are supposed to be particularly vicious in nature, generally, right? It makes a whole lot of sense that that would extend to the bedroom, as well.

... But yeah, that doesn’t help with his health. He was already doing pretty badly, just after the surgery. He didn’t really need that sort of mess tacked on afterward.     Oh, and... why “mysteriously” sticky, you derp? XD

And I am glad you were kidding.   (That slapping was very interesting to hear. Hmmm.)      Yeah, him being confused and uncertain about it also feels just about right~ ~~~ On a random note, I am reading this just after going through the memo where Karkat, John, and Dave were talking about romance/the propagation of the species, and KK insisted that John and Dave stay away from troll women.    That makes this all wonderfully hilarious, in retrospect. 

Huh. I’ve never seen “cuckold” used in that sort of context before.  Indeed, this is quite the question, though.  Could John Egbert handle a blackrom? A caligionous one, at that?   A very hard question, that is.   I’m not sure he’s emotionally capable of giving himself into the kinds of hate and playful ribbing that would be constantly involved in that kind of relationship, if healthy.  I suspect it might have been just a particularly violent flushed thing, though.  We’ll see.

Pffft. Slithers.   That said:  Huh. I was not expecting that turn. Let’s see where this goes~

Oh my gosh, Dirk, would you stop being such a downer? XD I think this is indeed very, very cute~     Soul-shattering is a weird sort of term to use there, for a normal person. Seems right for Dirk, though. He understands the nuances of how shattering can be more or less than a whole break.

That is practically the definition of a subjective judgment.  I know you’re being ironic and all, but come on, man, that’s just base as heck. But yeah, I think he might have it bad, indeed. 

The question here is, “Does he mean to suggest that Andrew Hussie is God to him, or does he mistakenly [in the context of Homestuck, which has given no distinct evidence for it] believe that there was a God that he actually usurped?”   “replaced” is a very interesting and useful word, here, given the working interpretation that I have is indeed that he is interpreting AH as God and likely believes him to have abandoned Homestuck, thus removed himself from his directorial capacity over its narrative, until he managed to take over.

WHY ARE NEITHER OF YOU THINKING OF RETCON-PORTING IN TO RESCUE HER FROM HER DEMISE BEFORE IT HAPPENS?!?!?!? But yeah, you really should get home and recover first, if it is possible.

Whoops. Not a good sign. Noooot a good sign.

The Power of Three is a very strong thing.

Here we gooooooo!!!~    The first time (I think) that I’ve continued a post beyond one page!!!

No.  Also, probably Jake English. He has strange effects on people.

Wow, someone’s a bit miffed.  That said: Hooray, acknowledgement by the narrative! :’D

I do not appreciate your repeated suggestions that Jake is dumb! That said: No. No, I do not want to engage in wanton promiscuity with such a man.  I am, to put it quite simply, not interested in meaningless sexual encounters with people I am not deeply connected with. Even if I had such a bond with Jake English, I would not be inclined to engage in such activities. Quite frankly, I am not exactly partial to the type of equipment he sports. As for the political side of things... well, that’s complicated. Yeah, people can indeed become far too energized by the attractiveness of candidates and those associated with them, rather than their substance.  Maybe that’s the case, here.   I’d like to think that the actual results of the election will in fact prove people wrong. Maybe there will be exit polls that we can see excerpts of to judge things for certain.   I don’t know~

FINALLY, SOMEONE FRICKING ADMIRES THE SUFFERER!!!

Eh?  I mean, I guess even Dave and Karkat were acknowledging the possibility of a misstep. We’ll see what happens.

Heee’s probably gonna try to sabotage this, isn’t he?   Also, I wish I were more familiar with human muscle anatomy.

“The Kibosh” is a good phrase to use.  That said:  ***snerk***    It’s like Karkat has wedding day jitters. XD

Man, it is annoying how spiteful you are toward him, Dirk. Can you give him a break for just a second?   I mean, you probably caused the sweating to begin with.

Wow. Such dudebroism, which I just suddenly realized/-membered Dirk was supposed to slightly embody, somewhat.  (I blame Gamebro Magazine, and the sharp contrast between the diction there and Dirk’s writing style.) That is a funny description, though, the brain-tonguing.  Also, gosh, Jake is nervous.

Oh, hey, I think Dave’s going to finally get a feel for the Narrative, and maybe end up confronting Dirk.  That will be incredibly interesting.

Wow, this is getting to him.  It’s like he’s made of sugar, and someone’s just begun to drizzle water on him.  Or maybe made of witch.

***lip curls up in a snarl***    Dave better make this quick.  I am somehow edging on more angry at this Unreliable Narrator than I was before Alt!Calliope took over...!

Well, that’s, umm... interesting. Particularly, the cultivated Obfuscating Stupidity bit. But moreso the fact that Dirk will acknowledge he’s smarter than he seems.

Yes... I think I most definitely am more furious than ever at this piece of garbage, now.  After the sweet taste of freedom that Jake was finally able to feel, and the burst of confidence he’d found in it, you pour all of this blithering waste on him?   Jane was trying to use him!   I’m sure she hasn’t loved him for a long time, and even then, I Jake never toyed with her heart intentionally, I’m sure!   Grrrrr...!

Honestly, though, he brings up a complicated and intriguing question.  Jake has definitely been used and abused throughout his history, and at least part of his recent activity to exploit his Hope-y Assets must have been Dirk’s doing, but how much of his sexually promiscuous revelry has actually been something that he would not and did not choose, say, as a result of his drinking problem, rather than him reveling in his identity as a   

WORLD RENOWNED EXPLORER-NATURALIST-TREASURE HUNTER-ARCHEOLOGIST-SCIENTIST-ADVENTURER-BIG GAME HUNTER-BILLIONAIRE EXTRAORDINAIRE 

 just as your pre-Scratch self was?  Regardless of the level of culpability he actually has in the matters of his life, he is nowhere near deserving of this kind of shaming, and Dirk should be ashamed of himself for this kind of disgusting behavior which he is almost certainly engaging in specifically to throw Jake off.

Oh, also, victim blaming is BS, and the answer is an unequivocal, “You, you insincere, megalomaniacal, self-justifying dirtbag.”

***is so fricking ANGRY that it is taking a great deal of willpower not to release a roar of primal fury and break my hand on my computer screen*** THIS IS NOT HOW HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WORK!!! THAT IS NOT HOW SOMEONE WHO IS ACTUALLY WILLING TO SUBMIT TO YOU LIKE THAT WILL BEHAVE, YOU FFF---     ***RRRRRGH!!!***

YOU HAD BETTER NOT FRICKING LISTEN TO THIS GARBAGE, JAKE!!! RESIST HIS INFLUENCE, AND---         Huh. The thought just occurred to me that both Dave and Jake could be interpreted as stand-ins for Simon, if Dirk were Kamina (despite how different Kamina’s personality is from Dirk’s), because Simon really seems like he could be interpreted as a Page of Hope too, for some reason (but curse my ADHD! XwX)   ---AND DEFEAT HIM WITH YOUR HOPE BUBBLE!!!

...  At least he apologized. For what that is worth.    This is going to seem so obvious to Dave, though.  Obviously, he isn’t going to kill his Bro, but... well, let’s see how things turn out. Hmm. Also, this is hilarious insofar as it derailed the press conference and probably took away much of the steam that could have been generated for the Karkat/Vantas ticket by Jake’s endorsement, but it doesn’t exactly do all that much for Jane Crocker’s side, either.  It was a very sickening and weird spectacle, but I am not sure how it will actually play out in their favor?   Seems like it might cause Jane’s side trouble, and might cause tensions between them.

I still can never consistently remember what “smh” means. But yes, “HICCUP???” is right.   STOP HIM, DAVE!!!  

TACKLE HIM AWAY INTO THE FUTURE!!!

Realistically, he should have no problem with speed at all. Time power shown a la cheating with Jade in games should let him get there instantly, and even his flash step that he has shown since before entering the Game should allow him to get there on time.      Man, Dirk is a prick about manipulating things. Especially since we are going to see things derailed and shift to another setting, right when Jake is supposedly going to make the biggest contribution he’ll ever make.  WHICH DOESN’T EVEN FRICKING MAKE SENSE!!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #248

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name.”

Are you more positive or a debbie downer? I don't think I'm either, honestly. I'm realistic. How many meals do you eat a day? Since getting a calorie & macro counting app, I try to aim for three, but sometimes I only manage two. I have to be conscious of how I'm spacing out what I eat. If you could have any talent in the world what would it be? Be realistic. Draw exactly what I see in my head. Do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? Bitch you better brush your goddamn tongue. I didn't know until I saw this as a survey question a while back that there were people who didn't. How many times do you brush your teeth a day honestly? Once. What are you favorite type of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore, but aesthetically, dark, skinny, torn jeans. Do you pop your bones, crack your knuckles? NO it disgusts me omg. There's this girl who sits in front of me in Women Writers class who cracks her back ALL the time and I have to fight cringing so, so hard. Do you eat your nails? YO NO. I may peel my nails when they get long (to me, anyway) but who the fuck eats their nails. Do you eat the ice in your drink? If it's that good cronchy type, fuck yeah. What do you order at Chic-Fil-A? I used to just get the classic sandwich and fries, but I stopped going there forever ago due to their connection to anti-LGBTQ organizations. By now I can't even stomach the thought of eating something from there. Damn are their sandwiches good, but I'm not giving them business. If you had to go to Mcdonalds what do you order? "Had to" lmao. I have no problem with McDonald's, honestly; you couldn't make me go, because I'd be quite willing. I love their cheeseburgers and, of course, their fries. But because I'm a fatass I have to at least get a double cheeseburger. Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? No. Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? Facebook. Are you a student? If so, what classes will you take next? Yes. "Next," I don't know, considering I haven't chosen classes for next year. Currently I take Painting, Women Writers, Psychology, and Biology. Are you a good kisser? I don't know? How many real bf/gf have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Sure, save for the one with Tyler. That was pointless as shit. Would you ever get back with your ex? Sara, if certain conditions were right. Jason, I honestly don't know and hope I'm never put into the position to need to decide. Other exes, no. Do you like 80’s music? Rock and metal, absolutely. It was a great decade for the genres. Name a comedy that you like. Rush Hour 2 popped to mind first because we mentioned it in school yesterday. Do you like homework? ??????????? WHAT IS THIS QUESTION???????????????? NO??????????????? Something you want to buy real bad? Ugggghhhhh a lot. Being unemployed is a BLAST!!!!!!!!!! Something you would buy a friend as a gift? It depends on the person, of course. I try really hard to give very personal gifts, so what it would be would greatly vary. What is something that would be a good birthday gift for you? Donate Big Bucks to my tattoo fund and I'll give you smooches. Something you would gift yourself? Still tattoos lmfao. Favorite candle scent? Cinnamon rolls mmmmmmmmm. Do you watch beauty videos on YouTube? So here's the tea I genuinely love Jeffree Star and I'm digging NikkieTutorials lately LOOK idk I guess because I find makeup to be an art, I like watching that stuff. My YouTube interests have become seriously diverse lately. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Ha ha obviously. What is the best thing about life? Man, that's a loaded question. I suppose having people in it that make it worthwhile and a true privilege to simply be here. What do you think will happen when you die? YO, HONESTLY, I don't know, man. I've even questioned reincarnation lately. I 100% believe we are not hollow bodies meant to just decay after death, but creatures with spirits that live on in SOME form or way afterwards. I don't believe in the concept of a "Hell," but I don't really think I accept there being a true "Heaven," either? I think there's just... something. What, I don't know, but guess I'll figure it out at some point. Are you superstitious? No. What kind of surveys do you like the most? Random ones, especially the ones that make you think. Do you go to church? No. Do you like Christian music? No. I get frustrated from just bad memories/associations. Have you ever skateboarded and failed at it? Never really tried. What show/concert have you went to that you didn’t like much? N/A Is sex a must in your life? Nah. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Lol I was the abstinent one years ago, so obviously I could, because I understand it. What do you think about weed? Medically, it's fantastic. Too much evidence of it being so to argue it anymore. For other use, I feel the same way about it as I do cigarettes: bad idea, but whatever. I personally don't care if it's made legal for recreational use or not, so long as it's treated similarly to alcohol, ex. illegal to drive while high. If you found a baby turtle on the side of the road, would you pick it up and keep it? With it being a baby, I'd probably take it to an animal rescue or something. Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? I stayed at Dad's for a handful of days. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Yes. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My sister has my initial, anyway. Who did you last see shirtless? My mom. Do you like to make the first move? NONONONONO I'M SHY. Do you think you will ever be married? Probably. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? I don't think she'd be mad, no. Do you understand football? Nope. Who last called you beautiful? Probably Mom. If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? We're both female so like- Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? No. Name five things you did today? Stayed at the hospital for my beautiful niece to be born :'), slept far too little after getting home, and that's... kinda it. What kind of phone do you have? It's literally a Tracfone, BUT WAIT! I actually wanted it, ha ha. Mom has one and it is *genuinely* a good phone, so I got one for my birthday. Hell, it's cheaper than paying monthly, so I'm fine with it. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? 5 in the morning when we were all still with Ashley. Do you like fire? Sure, I like watching it. Have you ever been to a spa? Noooo, not my jam. Do you know how to do a cartwheel? No. Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? Ehhhhh. When he drank, my dad was either hilarious when drunk or hateful and short-fused as fuck. 50/50 shot. But yeah, if you got Version 1, he'd crack anyone the hell up. Now that he's sober and happy he's always like that. What would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? Well, I'd say it depends on the picture's context. Like, a picture of you two kissing, then I'd be uncomfortable as shit. If you have prom pictures or stuff like that but don't like go looking through them regularly, idc. It was a special event. What if your partner went through your cellphone? BYE, CUNT. What if your partner was flirting with another girl/boy? BYE, CUNT. Is there really a difference between Coke and Pepsi? YES. I can absolutely taste it. Pepsi sucks. Are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? Stupid and/or impulsive shit I'd said, sure, but for the most part, no. We had a good relationship. Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? My mom always is if she's present. I am terrified of vomiting and even at my age still want her there, even though she can't do anything, obviously. I turn into a baby when I'm about to throw up. Background on your computer? My favorite picture of Teddy. Who has hurt you the most? Jason. Or hell, my own head, idk. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? Sure. What language do you want to learn? I wanna be fluent in German. Who’s the last person that came to your house? A family friend. Is there anyone you would like to fight? God no. I'm not a fighter. Who did you dance with last? Sara. Who is your best friend(s)? Sara. Song playing? "It's A Raid" by Ozzy feat. Post Malone. The album's out T O D A Y , B O Y S. Who is your arch-enemy? I don't have one. What's the most attractive thing on the opposite sex? GODDAMN shoulderBLADES Do you want platinum or gold for your wedding band? Not normal gold, I know. Rose gold is my ideal one, but I really don't care much. Have you ever paid to have your eyebrows waxed? I mean my mom has, seeing as I didn't have an income then, either. Got that done regularly in high school. Not because I asked, but because it was just "normal" since my two sisters did it, too. Do you think that the tobacco companies should pay for people’s medical bills? No, it's not their choice to use the product. Sure, they're making it, but it's really too late to cease production of tobacco. It'd be catastrophic in terms of the job industry. Do you curse in average conversations? Yes; I have to actually make an effort to not curse if needed. Have you ever bought a shot glass? No. Do you have a therapist? Not anymore after my previous one that I loved and trusted gave me every reason to break her jaw. I kind of want another one, but also don't. I'm supposed to, considering my history and that I'm on a lot of medication, but I just do nooooot want to go through the whole trust process again. Do you ever fall for spam mail? No. What color do you wear the most? Black. Do you only eat cough drops because you like the taste? No. Have your parents ever walked in on you having sex? No. Do you like getting stoned? I've never been so and aren't interested in ever getting there. Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? YOIKES THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY lol no, I wouldn't touch coke with a ten-foot pole. Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? Pink. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. She hasn't called me anything too awful that I know of. Have you ever done acid? No. Were you at a rave? Never been, definitely not my scene. Do you post pictures where you look good but your friends look bad? Well, I don't hang out with like... anyone, so, lmao. But I wouldn't. Are you friends with any of your exes? Yes. Would you ever dye your hair pink? ACTUALLY! Pastel pink is on my list. I tested some soft colors out in Photoshop on me and it actually looked really cute. I think I wanna be a smaller size first, though. Do you ever masturbate? I haven't since I came off that godawful birth control that drove me batshit insane in terms of libido. I still don't think it's a bad thing, my interest in that is just, gone. Are you embarrassed about your sex life or lack there of? No. Who’s the last person you said I love you to? My sister. Did you like your life when you were in middle school? Actually fuck middle school with a maul. If you went on American Idol, do you think you’d go through to Hollywood? Nope. Have you ever received an anonymous gift? No, I don't think so. What kind of laugh do you have? A loud and obnoxious one. Do you hoard anything? "Hoard" isn't the right word, no. Are you afraid of flying? I am, but I feel it's only a realistic apprehension. Especially going back and forth to Sara's a few times, you kinda have to get used to it. Most recent Facebook ‘like’? Shit man idk, I "like" a load of stuff. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. Do you do anything regularly that could damage your body? Can someone please eliminate soda from the face of the earth???? What do you love most in the world? Those closest to me. What woke you up this morning? Ugh, the sun. I need to put my curtain back up after Roman tore it down. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? My mom. Is anything bothering you? There's always *something* bothering me to some degree, but nothing seriously at the moment. Are you in a good mood? My niece was born overnight and is gorgeous and healthy so I have to be. :') When were you the saddest in your life? 2016. Do you own more than one cell phone? Ha ha, I have two old ones. One I used for pictures because the camera was good, and the most recent old one, I just need to get some pictures and contacts from... but I'm lazy. Have you ever had a song written about you? No. What songs make you happy? Depends on what I'm feeling. Next concert? No clue now that Ozzy had to cancel his, bless his old heart. As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? Yes. When was the last time you fought with your significant other, if any? I’m single. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No, thankfully. When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? Not since I went fishing with my old best friend a few years back. We were just in a pond. Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? Probably not. Do you like cereal? What would you consider your favorite kind of cereal? Hell yeah. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is *maybe* my favorite? Idk, I like a lot. Are there any people you don’t like for your significant other/crush to talk to? This doesn't apply to me, but even if I had one, they're not my damn child. I'm not gonna police whom they talk to. I mean I guess there are exceptions, like, talking to a drug dealer to name one, but talking to most people, that's their business. Just don't hide it from me. Have you ever forgotten your birthday? Did you soon figure it out? No. What color are the curtains in your room if you have any at the moment? Maroon. Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? No. Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? Well, calling back to that other question, there was one in a previous relationship that I really couldn't stand, but it wound up working out. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? It's just me and Ma now. Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? WHAT A CALLBACK!!!!! Omg did I love BB. Went like every weekend to rent a game, and sometimes we'd go there Fridays before a sleepover to grab a movie. Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? Sure, sometimes.