#I just think the duality is hilarious here

[jazzy-a]

Inej to Kaz, heartbroken: And how will you have me? Gloves on? Fully clothed? Head turned so our lips will never touch?

Jesper in every fanfic to the exact same conditions: That sounds hot.

[miupow]

[duality.] ─── ⋆ h. kai

an unexpected discovery about a friend sends you spiraling-- sure, hueningkai was cute, but he wasn't your type. at least, you thought he wasn't.

✩ pairing. huening kai x fem!reader

✩ words. 10k

✩ warnings. nsfw, mdnfi! smut with plot, f2l, graphic depictions of bdsm/rough sex, hard dom!kai, sub!reader, fem!reader, swearing, explicit language, mentions of alcohol/drinking, jealousy, wingman tyun and roommate yeonjun, gags, blindfolds, bondage, handcuffs, spanking, paddles, protected sex, manhandling, dry humping, sir kink, pet names, praise kink, dirty talk, degradation, degredation/name calling, jake from enhpyen cameo, possible dubcon elements, possessive behavior, nipple play, slight breeding kink, breath play/choking, cute ending hehe

✩ a/n. here it is!! duality, all three parts put together into one big oneshot!! i've been putting off finishing this fic for the longest time which is so criminal of me i know... i hope this makes up for it ♡ feedback in the forms of comments and reblogs are always appreciated! this is not proofread! please lmk if there are any mistakes!

You don't remember when Friday night get-togethers became "let's all listen to Beomgyu complain" get-togethers, but you could hardly complain-- hearing about your friend's failed attempts at wooing his coworker made you feel infinitely better about your own love life.

"I just don't get it," Beomgyu sighs deeply, swishing his beer around like he was debating on some deep philisophical theory. He was squished into the side of Taehyun's too-small couch, legs hanging off of the armrest and head awkwardly lying on Soobin's broad shoulder. "I'm hilarious and I'm smoking hot-- why is it so hard for me to find a girlfriend?!"

"That's because you're a loser." Your roommate, Yeonjun snorted. He was splayed out on the other end of the couch, effortlessly beating Soobin, Beomgyu and Hueningkai in Mario Kart, legs manspread so wide Taehyun (who was squished against Soobin's other side) looked about ready to hit him.

"I don't know, have you tried asking her out instead of following her around like a creep? She probably thinks you're stalking her." Taehyun snickered, very engrossed in his phone. You could see him trying to close Yeonjun's legs with his knee. It was not working.

"Also, you have no game." Soobin added, tonguing the inside of his cheek as he concentrated on the game. You were fairly sure part of the reason why he was losing so badly was because both of his arms were constricted to his sides. "Absolutely zero rizz, dude."

"Zero rizz," Hueningkai echoed with a giggle. Forever the smart and resourceful one, he chose to sit cross-legged on the carpet instead of squeezing himself on the couch-- you followed suit, not wanting to be in a sweaty sandwich with your roommate and his buddies. "I bet you haven't even said a word to her."

you sat with Kai near Yeonjun's legs, head propped up on the front of the couch as you snacked on popcorn. Hueningkai successfuly threw a blue shell at Yeonjun's kart-- your roommate's legs kicked out sharply, almost hitting you square in the head, and he let out a sharp "FUCK!"

"I have!" Beomgyu defended, sounding very much like a petulant child. "I talk to her all of the time! I asked her for her number, I made her a spotify playlist, I walk her to her car every night after our shifts--"

"None of that is asking her out though, hyung." Taehyun still hasn't looked up from his phone. "Did she give you her number?"

"No!" Beomgyu whined loudly, making everyone wince. "She said I haven't earned it yet!"

"It sounds like she's playing hard to get, maybe? Girls like it when guys pine." You supply, talking instead of listening for the first time in a while. You loved Beomgyu like a brother, and while it was funny to listen to his failed flirting you did want him to actually, you know, be happy. Plus he seemed to care about this girl beyond what her cupsize was, which was a pretty big deal for Beomgyu.

"More like she wants him to leave her alone." Hueningkai snickered back. “Hyung, I’ve not seen you this down bad since, like, grade school.”

“At least he’s not filling us in on his latest hookup,” Soobin shrugged, or at least tried to-- Beomgyu was now purposefully sitting on him. “Beomgyu might be a simp but I honestly see this as an improvement.”

“I’m not a fucking simp!” Beomgyu squawked, feigning hitting Soobin over the head with his controller. “I at least get more pussy than you losers— when was the last time Kai managed to bag a girl without her running away screaming first?”

The boys all laughed-- even Taehyun, which was weird--as if Beomgyu had made a joke that made sense. Kai? Scaring away girls? You’ve known him for years now, him being Yeonjun's friend and all, and while you didn't know him inside and out you were fairly sure he still slept with stuffed animals. Jesus, last time you had come over his only priority was showing off his Gundam.

“I think Kai would be the one running away screaming, honestly,” you laugh, expecting the others to follow, but you were quickly met with awkward silence. The boys all looked at you oddly, especially Beomgyu, who looked both deeply betrayed and like he had just gained some arcane secret. “…What? This is Huening we’re talking about, come on.”

“Yeah, Huening.” Beomgyu started, looking at you like you had grown an extra head. “It's always over when he starts going Fifty Shades on them."

"He starts going what?!" You sat up very suddenly, whipping your head around to stare at Hueningkai incredulously-- he was refusing to look at you, starting very intently at the TV screen, even though the game had ended minutes ago. The tips of his ears were cherry red. "You start going what?!"

"Oh my God, she doesn't know!" Yeonjun cackled madly, turning to look incredulously at Taehyun, who looked back with a wild grin. "She doesn't know!"

"I don't know what?" You felt a little betrayed by Taehyun, you had to be honest-- if anyone would have kept their head on, it would have been him. "Kai, what are they talking about?"

Kai was still refusing to make eye contact with you, instead glaring sharp daggers at his friends-- he genuinely looked angry, which was an emotion you weren't used to seeing on Hueningkai. "Don't worry about it, they're being dicks--"

"Hueningie likes to beat girls!" Beomgyu sang, his cute corner dimples popping out in his delighted, evil smile and making him look absolutely devilish. "He likes to treat girls like sluts!"

Kai was very very silent and worryingly still, nearly burning holes in the carpet with his stare. You furrowed your brow, blanched— that wasn’t the reaction you were expecting from him at all.

"There's no way you have no idea, Y/N, I mean-- you're joking, right? You've known him for forever now." Soobin cut in, looking genuinely confused.

"You've been in his room! Like, a thousand times!" Yeonjun laughed. "He's so fucking bad about putting all of his gross shit away-- once I saw handcuffs still attached to the headboard!"

You blinked.

This had to be some sort of joke. They were fucking with you, they had to be. "Are you trying to tell me that Hueningkai, OUR Hueningkai, is-- no he's not?! Have you met him? He collects Squishmallows!"

"You haven't looked under his bed yet, then." Taehyun snickered, once again on his phone-- you spluttered, both at his words and his nonchalance. Kai was still eerily silent.

"You've got to be joking. This is a joke. I don't think Kai's seen a pair of boobs in his life--"

"I’m not a virgin, you know." Hueningkai muttered stiffly, looking at you for the first time in a while. The residual anger he had for his friends lingered on his blushing, usually lax face, staring you down with an intensity you didn't think he could muster-- your stomach flipped hard, nearly having you recoil under his stare.

It took you an embarrassing second to register what he even said. "Oh. Um--"

"I'm not some fucking loser." Hueningkai repeated, voice calm but deep, deep dark, and it hit you quite suddenly that he was actually upset with you, not his friends. You had never heard Kai swear before. "Is it really that hard for you to believe? You don't know me.“

“Um, I—“ you spluttered, opening and closing your mouth like a fish.

“It’s like you think I'm some spineless, bitchless nerd or something-- it pisses me off, honestly, and I'm getting really fucking sick of it."

You were unable to choke out any words at all as Hueningkai pulled himself up sharply from the floor and stomped away into his room-- It was awkwardly silent for a few deeply conflicting moments, but Beomgyu was quick to pick back up the laughter.

"Someone's mad! Better watch out, Y/N, Hueningie might punish you for that!"

“Are you a slut?” Hueningkai hisses, big hand palming your bare ass– you whimper around your gag, tug at the restraints that bind your arms behind your back. “Is that what you are? All you can think about is getting cock, huh?”

Tears were starting to soak the silk of your blindfold, sticking wet and cold to your skin– you had never felt this raw and desperate in your life. “No!” you try to say, but it comes out a muffled whine.

Huening leans in close, hot breath caressing your ear, fabric of his shirt ghosting your back; his grip on your asscheek tightens, fingers digging into the flesh. “I’m sorry baby, didn’t hear you. What was that?”

“I’m not a slut!” you try again, shaking your head wildly, slurred words incomprehensible– drool ran down your chin and neck, dripped onto the bedsheets beneath you, and moving your mouth to speak only made more spill out. You felt disgusting, pathetic, humliated beyond belief… and your wet cunt ached.

“No?” Kai coos, the palm gripping your ass trailing down between your thighs. His fingertips brushed softly against your fluttering folds– the first real touch to your neglected pussy. You sob around the gag. It was nowhere near enough. “Then why are you so wet right now? I’ve barely touched you and you’re soaked. You want me to fuck you that bad, huh baby?”

And you wake up before you can answer.

“This is about Huening, isn’t it.” Taehyun states plainly when he answers your call. For a split second, you wished he was less reliable about picking up the phone.

“I haven’t even said anything,” you whine, a little petulant even to your own ears. Taehyun had always been able to read you like a book, read everyone like a book, and it never failed to piss you off and embarrass you.

“You never call me unless it’s about your problems.”

Oh. Well. You suppose that’s true. He was just such a great listener.

“He’s not a problem, I’m just– is he in the room with you right now?”

You can hear Taehyun’s eyeroll reverberate through his sigh. “He’s at class. If you’re calling to apologize, I can leave a message.”

You scoff. “Apologize for what?! I didn’t do anything!”

“I think you hurt his feelings. He hasn’t left his room all week except to go to his classes.” Taehyun sounded more amused than anything else. “You should at least tell him you’re sorry for emasculating him.”

“Emasculating him?!” And this was why you didn’t go to Taehyun when it came to problems involving his own friends. “He’s the one being a big baby about it! How was I supposed to know you guys weren’t joking? Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“Tell you what, that Kai’s a freak? We thought you knew. Plus, it’s not like it’s even that big of a deal. You’re both just being weird about it.”

“I’m not being weird about it!” You retort. “I’m just, like– how long have you known?”

Taehyun was quiet for a very long, uncomfortable moment. “Y/N, if you’re about to quiz me on my roommate’s sex life, I will hang up on you.”

“I’m not, I’m not!” You’re glad you’re curled up in bed and not out in public; you’d hate anyone to see you this flustered just over the phone. “I’m just confused on how it was apparently ’so obvious’ and I completely missed it.”

“That’s because he’d been trying to hide it from you. He’s just been doing a shit job– thought you figured it out anyway.”

You blink. “He’s… what? Why?”

Taehyun makes a noise like he’s sucking at his teeth, staticky over the phone. You briefly wonder if he’s actually going to hang up on you. “I promised Kai I wouldn’t tell you this.”

“Tell me what?!” You press with a hiss, grasping your phone harder in your hand– you were getting really sick and tired of everyone beating around the bush with you, like you hadn’t already learned more about Kai in the last few days than you had in the last few years. “Tyun, if it involves me, I think I deserve to know.”

Taehyun hesitates for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh, deep and weighted like some veteran soldier. You want to laugh, really, but you’re too on edge to do much more than hang onto every word Taehyun says. “Kai’s gonna kill me for this.”

“I don’t care. Spill.”

“He’s… interested in you. Has been since he met you, I think. He was playing up that annoying good boy act ‘cos he didn’t want to ’scare you away.’”

You let out a breath like it had been knocked out of you with a fist, head spinning wildly. Kai was always so sweet and polite, got you gifts, made sure you always felt appreciated and included… but he had never given you the impression that he was into you. He was just like that with everyone.

But now that you thought about it…

Those smiles he seemed to save just for you, adorable and ecstatic like you had completed some insurmountable task for him instead of just getting him a candy bar or a glass of water, the gentlest ’thank you so much'es that made your tummy flip in the best way. Pretty brown eyes wide and sparkling every time he looked at you– he would always furiously turn away like he didn’t want you to catch him staring.

You caught him staring quite a lot. You always assumed you must have had something on your face.

Sweet Hyuka who told you you looked pretty even when you knew you didn’t, stepping into his and Taehyun’s apartment in pajamas because Yeonjun hadn’t told you it was movie night until he was getting ready to leave. Hyuka who would give up his seat so you could sit on the couch. Hyuka who was always the first to stand up for you if one of the other boys made a snide joke in your expense. Hyuka who hugged you first before he addressed anyone else. Hyuka who would sometimes only come out of his room if he was told that you were there. You always thought that Hyuka was a great friend.

Suddenly, the other night made a lot more sense. Just as suddenly, you also felt very, very guilty.

“Oh.” You whisper into the phone, because it had hit you that you hadn’t said anything for quite some time.

“Yeah, 'oh.’ Now he thinks you think he’s a gross pervert.” Taehyun snickers. He’s enjoying your plight far too much.

“I don’t think that.” you retort softly, a little sad.

“You should tell him that, not me.”

“How am I supposed to tell him anything if he won’t pick up the phone?!”

Taehyun’s quiet again, like he’s thinking. “Listen, Yeonjun’s taking us out for drinks Friday to celebrate Kai passing his midterms. I think he’s trying to cheer him up. Ask him to come with; you can talk to Kai then.”

“…Would Kai even want me there?” You ask.

“Probably not, to be honest. Doesn’t matter though, he’s not the one paying, he can go cry about it. Plus, I think hyung was gonna bring you anyway– he thinks this entire thing is hilarious.”

You hesitate for a moment. Not only foes this have bad idea written all over it, you also don’t have anything to wear. “Promise you’ll get me out of there if things get nasty?”

“How would things get nasty?” Taehyun laughs. “The most Kai would do is whine that he wants to go home.”

You should have stayed home.

Taehyun was right– when you brought up the club to Yeonjun, he had enthusiastically mentioned that he was, in fact, going to ask you to come with, and that he was very happy to hear you agree to go. Maybe that should have been your warning.

Huening hadn’t so much as looked to you the entire night. You spotted him immediately when you had stepped into the building, platinum blond hair and an oversized grey hoodie tucked awkwardly into a corner booth, big frame shrunk in on itself like he was trying to come off as small as he possibly could. You felt bad for him, really, watching him stare surly into the same drink he had been nursing the entire night– Kai hates clubs, yet the other boys kept insisting on celebrating with drinks and dancing instead of something Kai would actually enjoy, like a movie. You’re fairly sure Kai was already aware that the night wasn’t really about him and his test scores.

On top of the awkward atmosphere, you feel naked in this dress. You borrowed it from a friend, since you had nothing nice to wear— it was cute, but backless and low cut, and not to mention about two sizes too small. You were afraid to take large breaths, lest your breasts fall out of the top entirely. 

You think you caught Huening staring from the booth as you sat at the bar with Yeonjun, but it might just have been wishful thinking. 

“Just go up and talk to him,” Yeonjun suggests between swigs of his beer. He keeps looking over his shoulder at the dancefloor like he’s hunting for something— most likely a girl to take home with him.

“And what, grovel for his forgiveness? He looks like he wants to kill me.” you grumble around your own glass, half-hoping the liquor would at least spark some confidence. You felt the opposite of confident, in your stupid tight dress, scared of approaching a boy that professed his undying love for Molang on the daily. 

“Maybe he just wants to fuck you. You look hot.” Yeonjun snickers, glancing quickly over at Kai’s booth— from the annoying grin on his face, you can only assume Huening is looking your way. “Go over there and tell him you’ll suck his dick if he’ll forgive you.”

“You’re gross.”

“You love me.” Yeonjun sneaks another look at the dancefloor; it seems he’s locked in on a target. “Gotta bounce. Yell if you need me to come and save you.” 

“I don’t want your saving,” you retort snidely as he slid his way through the crowd. 

You didn’t have any time to relish in your solitude, barely able to even take another sad sip of your cocktail— an unfamiliar body fills Yeonjun’s empty barstool in what felt like an instant, big mouth grinning like he’d been waiting for a while. 

You suppose the eyes that you had felt on you hadn’t been Kai’s after all. Yeonjun’s grins could be decieving.

He orders a beer from the bartender, pretty yet odd accent slurring his words— you weren’t sure where it was from, but you sure did like it. “And another of whatever she’s drinking.” he adds, shooting a grin your way.

“Oh no, I’m alright—” you attempt to shut him down, but your voice wavers. He waves you off with a sweet laugh. 

“It’s on me, baby. You look like you need it.”

You laugh nervously. You weren’t sure if that was supposed to be a diss or not, even including the petname. “Oh, do I?” 

“You look stressed. Something got you down?”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. You’re not sure how to respond to any of this, really. Flirting wasn’t really your forte.  “Just a little.” 

The bartender puts down both of your drinks at once— your handsome new friend pushes yours your way, and you take it gratefully. This isn’t exactly how you wanted your night to go, but this man was hot, free drinks were free drinks, and maybe going home with someone new was a better outcome for your night than moping around alone and having to listen to your roommate get his dick wet. “Did some asshole abandon you over here? You’re far too pretty to be sitting here all sad and alone.” Your stranger croons, eyes heavy as they rake down your body, take in your dress. You squirm under his gaze. “My name’s Jake. What’s yours?” 

“Y/N.” You don’t bother addressing his earlier comment; the idea of talking about your boy problems to this very handsome boy made your skin crawl. “I like your accent, where are you from?” 

“Brisbane.” Jake gave you another pretty, blinding grin. He had a very big mouth with very white teeth. 

“…Pardon?”

“Australia.” Jake laughs. “I’m an Aussie. I was born here though.”

“Oh, I see! Are you here just to visit or do you live here? I mean, if you don’t mind me asking, of course—“

“No worries, pretty girl.” He needed to stop with the petnames before you climbed him like a tree. “I live here for right now. Do you want another one of those?”

“Hm?” You looked down at your glass. You hadn’t even noticed that it was empty, just mindlessly holding it up against your lips while you latched on to every word Jake said. “Oh! Um. I’m okay, thank you!” 

Jake seems displeased with your answer. You wonder briefly if he was just trying to get you drunk. It was working. “You sure? You’re still lookin’ a little sad there, baby.” 

“I’m–”

“She said she’s fine.”  

A big hand grabs your arm without much warning, making you squeak out loud— you whip your head back fast, ready to fight, but quickly freeze at the sight of Huening towering over you with a dark but unreadable expression. His grip was bordering on painful. 

“Excuse me?” Jake retorts, face screwed up in irritation and clearly unwilling to back down from a challenge.  “You know this guy?” 

Unfortunately, you did. “Kai—“ you start, but quickly clam up; Kai shoots you a look you’ve never seen from him before, dark and feral. It twists hot in your belly just as much as it scares you. 

“She’s done. We’re leaving.” Kai hisses dangerously near your ear, loud enough for Jake to hear. You’re too shocked to respond. 

“Hey, what the hell’s your problem, man?” Jake’s griping, but it’s not doing much good— Kai tugs you up out of your seat and drags you by the wrist through the crowds and out of the back door of the club. You want to fight him, yell and kick and scream, but all you can manage is to stare incredulously at the back of his head. He hardly gave you the leeway to grab your purse. Or pay your tab. 

“Kai, what the—“ He pushes you hard against the brick wall of the club, presses himself flush against your back— you can feel the stiff bulge of his hard cock against your ass, his hot breath fan across your neck in jagged, heavy breaths. 

“You think this is fucking funny, Y/N?” he snarls, deep and nasty. His hands press yours against the brick, keeping you still against both him and the wall. “Are you trying to piss me off? Show up dressed like a slut, whore yourself out right in front of me?”

You can only get yourself to let out a strangled squeak, all too distracted by the swell of Kai’s cock, the heat of his body against yours. Was this really happening? 

“C’mon, say something.” Kai goads, rolling his hips. it takes everything in you not to moan. “Why are you being such a whore, Y/N?”

“You’re hard…” You whimper.

“I’m hard?” Kai echoes, sneers meanly. “Fuck yes I’m hard. I’m hard ‘cos you look so fucking sexy in this dress, I love your body; God, did you wear this for me?” 

You’d been telling yourself you didn’t, but you did. You absolutely did. “Uh huh…”

“Dressed up all pretty for me yet you’re letting other men call you baby? Sounds like you just want me to punish you. Is that what you want? For me to punish you?” Kai’s hands let go of yours to grab at your hips, guiding you to buck up harder against him. “You know, I thought you couldn’t take it. Thought you wouldn’t be able to handle me. But now I think you deserve to be put in your place, don’t you?” 

“Kai…” You croak weakly, keen high in your throat when Kai grinds hard right against your clothed slit, nestles his head in your neck to mouth hotly at your skin. 

“Fuck you’re wet, I can feel it. Say it. say you want me to ruin you.” 

He’s right; your pussy’s dripping. You’ve never felt this needy before in your life, and Kai hasn’t even touched you. You can’t help but be a little afraid for when he does. 

Your mind flashes back to your dreams, vivid scenes of being underneath Huening as he tore you apart completely, made you feel raw and alive in ways you didn’t think you ever could. You craved to feel even just a fraction of what you did in your dreams, finally make them a reality. 

You needed him. 

“Ruin me, Kai, please.” you beg, and you meant it. 

“Good girl, fuck.” Huening curses hot under his breath, pulls himself away from you— you whine out at the loss, and Huening gives your ass a surprise slap in retaliation. You bite your lip to keep from shrieking. “Fuck, okay, we’re doing this. 7’oclock Monday, okay? My place; Taehyun won’t be home. We’ll have time to talk it out before. Don’t be late.” 

And with that, Kai once again stalks away, heads back inside the club with his hands in his pockets and head held high like he wasn’t just grinding against you moments before. You’re plastered against the wall, dress ridden up your ass, sweaty and hot and so wet it’s starting to drip down your thighs. 

You’re not sure if you’re going to be able to make it to Monday.

“7 o'clock Monday, okay? Don’t be late.”

Monday came far too fast. Despite having the entire weekend to yourself you felt as though you had been given no time to prepare; you spent three days pacing your and Yeonjun’s apartment, unable to do anything except think about Hueningkai’s words, his voice, his hands hot and burning, branding on your skin… you were haunted, ruminating endlessly about what he was going to do to you, what his plans were once he had you all alone and to himself. How far he would push you. If he would take you all the way to the edge. If he would stop if you told him it was too much. If you truly trusted him as much as you thought you did. If all of this was really just some strange, one-off situationship between two good friends, or if there were feelings you weren’t ready to address hidden somewhere just under the surface.

Was this just sex?

Yeonjun kept asking you if you were okay, brow furrowed as he watched you worry yourself half to death, and you didn’t know how to respond.

The dreams you had been having had only gotten worse, more visceral. They frightened you, almost, from the intensity of them, but in the same vein you had never felt this needy in your entire life. You needed to feel Kai’s touch on you again like you needed air.

The falling snow nipped at your bare legs as you shuffled nervously in front of Hueningkai’s apartment door. You certainly hadn’t dressed for the weather– hidden behind your knee-length coat, you wore your tiniest skirt and your tightest top, low cut with your cleavage spilling out of your push-up bra. You wrapped your arms tighter around yourself, buried your burning face deeper into the lapels of your coat as the icy cold wind picked up in a dizzying, biting flurry– you’ve never dressed up for a hookup before, and you hoped it wasn’t obvious… would Hueningkai even notice? Could you even call this a hookup to begin with? The entire situation was so incredibly alien and unlike you in every way that it left a bad taste in your mouth, one you mulled over as you stared daggers at his door. You couldn’t bring yourself to knock on it.

Luckily, you didn’t have to. Taehyun tore the door open for you right as you gathered the courage to raise your fist.

You shrieked at your friend’s sudden appearance, grabbed desperately at your coat like it was a lifeline– Kai had told you that he wouldn’t be home, told you that the coast was completely clear for you to waltz in– that was the only reason you had agreed to come over anyway. You had to save yourself from the potential humiliation of facing Taehyun again after Friday, especially looking like this, yet there he stood, eyeing you up and down as he shrugged his jacket on.

“Wha– Why are you here!?” you demand, wrapping your coat tighter around yourself. Taehyun gives you an odd look.

“I live here.” He answers flatly. “I was just about to leave, actually. What are you doing here?”

You open your mouth to answer, but Taehyun cuts you off. His eyes trail from your glossy lips down to your bare legs, grimace on his face that would have offended you in some other circumstance. “Actually, don’t answer that. Kai’s in his bedroom. I’m going out, I don’t wanna be here for this– use a condom at least, will you?”

Without waiting for your reply, Taehyun quickly side steps your shivering frame to trudge off through the snow. He gives you a limp and unenthusiastic wave goodbye without bothering to look back– if he had, he would have seen you gape and splutter at his retreating back like a landlocked fish.

The door was left wide open for you to enter; all of the lights were off inside, dark and empty except for the cracks underneath Hueningkai’s door, all the way down the hallway– you felt taunted by it, frigid and terrified like something unexpected would jump up at you as you stepped inside and locked the door behind you. You’ve felt less dread walking through haunted houses.

Tentatively, you make your way down the hallway, the apartment unsettlingly quiet as you reach Kai’s bedroom door and fumble with the doorknob– it was unlocked, much to your surprise, and slowly you cracked it open and slipped inside.

Hueningkai’s room was dark except for the light of his console, illuminating your friend’s outline as he played some video game you didn’t recognize; he slouched in his gaming chair with his back turned to you, volume turned up so high in his headphones that you could hear the muffled gunshots all the way from the doorway– he clearly had no idea that you were standing right behind him, so engrossed in the game blown up on his screen.

“Kai?” you called out quietly, too nervous to raise your voice. Huening continued to click away at his mouse and keyboard, and you stared awkwardly at the back of his head.

You double-checked the time on your phone; you had shown up exactly when he had told you to. There’s no way he had forgotten about Friday… was there?

“Kai.” you called again, this time a little louder. Kai still did not acknowledge you in the slightest.

Frowning, you step over to his side, tap gingerly at his shoulder, and Kai reacts instantly— he jumps up out of his chair with a deafening shriek, sends his headphones flying as he whips his head around in terror to face you… it takes him a second to recognize your face, but his face floods with color once he does.

“Holy– Oh, (Y/N), Oh my God!” he whines, clutching his chest. Even his ears are red, you notice when he bends over to pick up his headphones up off of the floor, and you giggle to yourself as he turns back around to give you a startled, puppy-eyed look. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“I’m sorry,” you reply, trying your very hardest not to laugh in his face. You’ve never seen him this embarrassed before, avoiding your eyes with puffed-out cheeks and a pink face; it was a cute look on him. “I thought you knew I was coming.”

“Well..” he cringes, fiddling with the headphones still in his hands. His face looked even redder. “I… I kind of thought you weren’t going to.”

“Why wouldn’t I come? I told you I’d be here.” you ask, cock your head at him, watch as he turns his console off and places his headphones down on his desk. He seemed nervous and disoriented, like he really wasn’t prepared for any of what he had talked about salaciously into your ear Friday night; you felt silly, suddenly, dressed up and standing expectantly in his bedroom. Maybe you shouldn’t have taken him so seriously. This didn’t seem at all like the man who had you pinned against a brick wall and begging for it just a few nights ago, and instead much more like the shy and gentle Hueningkai you knew much, much better.

“I thought I scared you..” Kai admits with a fake, humorless laugh, his wobbly smile quickly folding down into a grimace as he sinks further into his chair. “This is usually the part where I scare people. They were only half-joking about the whole ‘running away screaming’ thing, you know.”

Your own frown deepens, unsure of what to do or what to say as you watch him pick at his sweatpants, continue to refuse to look you in the eye as he rocks himself back and forth with the swivel of his chair. “I mean, I’m not angry about it, obviously.” he continued, fluffy blond bangs hanging over his face as he stared at the floor. “That would be stupid. A lot of people don’t like this stuff, and that’s fine. I don’t want to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. It’s okay if I scared you, it really is. I’m sorry I came on so strong Friday, it was a bad idea and I shouldn’t have done it and I was drunk–”

Kai looks up at you for the first time in a while, big brown eyes watery behind his bangs and breaking your heart– he looked so truly guilty, like he had been beating himself up over this for days. Like he had spent the entire weekend pacing and tearing himself to shreds just as you had. You wish he had said something sooner, so you could have told him earlier that he didn’t do anything that you didn’t like, that he startled you but in a way that awakened something in you that you didn’t even know that you had. You wish you had the courage to tell him that he could have done whatever he wanted that night and you would have let him, because while this new side to him made you nervous it didn’t scare you. Hueningkai could never scare you.

It hits you then that there really wasn’t another secret, darker alter to Hueningkai, some frightening Jekyll and Hyde dynamic that your friends had placed into your head. Kai was always Kai, your sweet, perfect, nervous, nerdy, awkward Kai, even when he was saying the nastiest things you had ever heard in your life, and you felt very terrible very suddenly that you had ever doubted your trust in him.

“You don’t scare me, Kai.” You say simply, because you couldn’t get yourself to say anything else. The genuinely shocked look on Kai’s face at your words makes your chest ache.

“Really?” He asks just above a whisper. “I didn’t scare you?”

“No, I… I liked it.” You admit, face heating up. “I liked it, and I want more.”

Kai’s big puppy eyes change in an instant; suddenly he was gazing up at you like a predator, big brown eyes slanted and dark, dripping with a hunger you were frighteningly unfamiliar with. The sudden shift takes you by surprise, ignites a delicious fire in your belly. “Okay then.” Kai says slowly, taking his time easing out of his chair. You don’t miss the big, dizzying bulge in his sweats when he stands up. “Then let’s talk.”

He sits you down on his bed and sits next to you, though a good distance away– you could feel every single inch as Kai nibbles at his lip and bites at his nails, shuffles his feet and looks up at you coyly. “Before we do anything, I just want to hear about your boundaries… is that okay? I don’t want anything to happen that you don’t like. The last thing I want to do is to make you uncomfortable or hurt you..”

You’re touched, oddly enough, though you’re already jittery and way in over your head– with a quizzical little giggle you ask, “What do you mean by boundaries?”

“Like your hard limits, your soft limits.” Kai explains gently, moving to rest his big hand on the mattress between you. You stare at his long, thick fingers a few beats longer than you meant to. “Things you don’t want me to do to you. Let me know about what to stay away from so this can be enjoyable for both of us.”

You were in no way prepared for this line of questioning; you squirm around in your big coat, cheeks heating up– you were starting to sound like the virgin. “I, um… I don’t really know… I’ve never really done anything like this before– but I want to try it. With you.”

Kai lets out a deep sigh, that hand on the bed raising to push his bangs back from his eyes– pretty brown pupils dark and dripping with honey, such a startling juxtaposition from the sweet soft smile on his plush lips. You stare at him, mesmerized. “Thank you for trusting me to be your first, then.” he says lowly and surprisingly sincere, pink tongue darting out to lick at his thick bottom lip. “If there’s ever a point where you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to tell me, okay? I promise I’ll stop immediately.”

“Okay…” you nod. Your anxiety was diminishing by the minute, being replaced with a tranquil sense of trust– you were certain that only Kai could ever make you feel this safe.

“For boundaries, just follow my lead.” Kai continues. “I’ll list something, and you tell me if you’re okay with it or not, okay?”

“Okay.” you say again, more confidently. Kai grins.

“Good girl. Just say yes or no, okay?”

Good girl, said so flippantly like he did at the bar. You shiver, electrified– you can still feel Kai’s hot breath panting in your ear when he called you that Friday night, that hard thick bulge in his pants you’ve been trying desperately not to look at pushing hard against your ass, teasing you maddingly…

“(Y/N)?” Kai asks softly, sending you reeling back to the present. “Is that okay?”

“Yes! I mean yes, yes that’s okay…”

Kai giggles, eyes scrunching up in that way you adore so much. “Alright then. Can I hit you?”

Oh.

You blink hard, hesitate for a moment. “Hit... me? … Where?”

“Wherever you’d like.” Kai answers with the sweetest and most innocent of smiles. Only his bright red cheeks are giving him away. “I can spank you, if you want. I can slap you. Your face, your tits. Your.. your pussy even, if you’d let me.”

Once again you’re pulled away from reality, flooded with memories all at once from your salacious dreams; being spanked for misbehaving, Huening’s big strong hands ruthless on your soft skin. How it hurt but how you loved it, craved and begged for more… “You can spank me.” You finally get out after a while. “You can spank my p-pussy too… just please be gentle. And I don’t want to be hit anywhere else.”

“That’s perfectly fine, angel. I’ll be gentle, I promise.” Kai soothes in a deep croon, mixing deliciously and dizzyingly with the new pet name and making you rub your thighs together– you can tell that he noticed from the wolfish way that his toothy grin widens. “Do you want me to just use my hand or can I use a toy to spank you?”

The simple idea of being spanked with something other than a hand is enough to make you squirm and hide your face; it was something you had never even thought about before, but now… “You can do both..” you mumble quietly, too embarrassed to meet Kai’s gaze. He gives you an approving hum.

“Can I choke you?”

“Yes.” you answer with little hesitation, taking another quick glance at Kai’s fingers, now pulling at the hem of his hoodie. Kai lets out a huffy ‘oh’ like he had been hit hard in the chest, lost his breath. You can feel the hunger in his stare as it washes over you, the way he undresses you with his eyes– it’s already overwhelming and he hasn’t even touched you yet.

“Can I tie you up?” Kai continues heavily, deep voice a few octaves lower. You bite your lip to keep from whimpering.

“Yes.”

“Can I pull your hair?” he moves his arm like he was placing his hand back on the bed, but instead firmly grabs your upper thigh– he pushes your coat aside with his thumb so he can caress at your bare skin, and the teasing touch is more than enough to make your voice shake.

“Y-yes.”

“Call you names? Be mean?” His fingers dig into the fat of your inner thigh.

“Yes, yes please..”

The bulge in Kai’s sweats was obscene, straining hard against the fabric as he stroked your thigh, used his free hand to tilt your chin up to meet his eyes; the way he looked at you was bordering on predatory, like he was going to eat you, so dirty and different than any look he had given you before… your pussy throbs when his thumb brushes softly across your bottom lip. “Oh princess…” Kai coos, sugary sweet, “What am I going to do with you?”

“What are you going to do with me?” you echo timidly, still meek even as you place your hand on his chest.

Kai’s grin turns practically evil, hand brushing higher and higher up your thigh. “I think you deserve a punishment for your behavior Friday, don’t you? Acting so bratty, dressed like a slut…”

The pad of his finger slips under your skirt to ghost over the soaked front of your panties. Your thighs clench hard, trapping his hand between them, and the hand you had placed on his chest grabs a fistfull of his hoodie. “Punish me,” you beg, meek and pathetic; Kai stares at you in what almost seems like disbelief.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks after taking a moment to study your face.

“Yes, please.” you answer, already leaning in to bridge the gap.

Kai kisses you so passionately it takes your breath away, his hands coming to cup your face and grab your hips as he pries your lips apart with his tongue, demanding his way inside. Your hands paw uselessly at his shoulders and neck, Kai swallowing your sweet little whimpers up greedily as he pulls you up onto his lap and tugs at your coat. He only pulls away when you’re both dizzy and begging for air. “God, I’ve wanted to do that for fucking ever…” Kai whispers against your lips, his deep giggle making your legs twitch and tighten around his trim waist– the confession hung heavy in the air, it weighs down your shoulders as you drop your arms to let him peel off your coat and throw it down onto the floor. Words get stuck in your throat as you scramble for something to say… Kai steals them from you with ease, big dark eyes marveling at every inch of your exposed skin, his hands cupping at your hips and breasts, ghosts feathered touches up the exposed skin between your itty bitty skirt and top

“Oh baby…” he huffs, honeyed voice labored and panting. “Fuck, look at you.”

“Do you like it?” you ask with a coy smile.

Hueningkai growls in response, flipping you over onto your back on the bed– he holds himself over you with his hands on either side of your head, pretty lips pulled into the most salacious of smirks as his eyes continue to rake down your body. “Kai…” you whimper, the few inches between your faces feeling like miles.

“No, no, don’t call me that, baby,” he coos, “Call me sir, okay?”

“Yes, sir…” you reply in kind, face hot. Kai gives you another quick kiss in appreciation before pulling himself back up and off of the bed. You whimper at the loss but Kai is quick to shush you, big hand coming up to rub soothing circles into your thigh as he rummages around underneath his bed– where he keeps his toys, you remember with a jolt.

“Turn over ‘n arch your back, can you do that for me? Ass up, gotta teach you a lesson.”

You shudder and follow his directions, bury your face into Hueningkai’s sheets as he gathers his things and settles himself back on the bed behind you; you can feel the bed dip from his weight, feel him place a few things down on the bed side the both of you before he runs his hands up your thighs and waist, across your shoulders and down your arms. In one swift motion he grabs your wrists and pulls your arms taut behind your back, binds them in place with the dull click of biting cold metal– he’s handcuffed you, you realize with a sick start. You’re completely at his mercy now.

“Are they too tight?” Kai asks when you test your restraints, tug at them uselessly; they don’t budge an inch, only cut tighter and tighter into the skin of your wrists with every movement. It’s an alien feeling, being bound like this, but you find yourself enjoying it much more than you thought you would, stoking the fire in your belly. You shake your head no.

“Good.” He says, big hands caressing your hips– he uses his thumbs to push your skirt up over your ass, revealing your cute lace panties. Thumb moving down to slide against your soaking wet slit, he coos, “Such a cute little ass, sweetie; can’t wait to see this cunt.”

You whimper and push back against his hand, making Kai chuckle and rub a quick circle at your clit before tugging your panties down to your knees in one swift motion. You gasp at the sudden shock, cold air hitting at your warm wet core.

Kai sighs like he’s relieved. “God, you’ve got the prettiest pussy, princess… I can’t wait to ruin it.” Without warning, he rears his hand back and slaps you, hard, against your panty-clad cunt. The sting is sharp and mind-numbing, making you cry out, but your voice quickly wavers into a low moan; it hurt like hell but you loved it, the tingling in your fevered skin only serving to make you wetter.

Kais hand then moves to cup and squeeze at your asscheek; you can feel your arousal coating his palm, your pussy so wet you’ve drenched it with just a single spank. “Count for me, okay honey?” Kai croons, gentle. “And say ‘thank you sir’ for every one.”

“Yes, sir…” you whimper, fighting the urge to look over your shoulder back at him as he shuffles around behind you, picking up whatever he had placed aside earlier. You hear a soft ‘good girl’ as he settles himself back into place.

Kai rewards your good behavior with your first proper spank, hard and fast and with a wooden paddle instead of his hand— you cry out, even louder and shriller than before, your hands twisting against the handcuffs as you shy away from Kai’s grasp. “One!” you huff out, winded, completely unprepared; Kai tuts, condescending.

“One, what? What did I say you call me? Be a big girl and use your words now.”

“One, thank you sir!” you correct yourself quickly, thighs already quivering.

He spanks you again on the other cheek, this time harder; you shriek at the sharp pain of the paddle, but it quickly morphs into a broken moan. The paddle elicited pain in a way you had never felt before, could hardly describe, the shocking sting reverberating through your entire body and coalescing in your mind, leaving you breathless and unable to focus on anything other than Kai’s big hand running soothingly down the small of your back, the leather of the paddle ghosting over your flushed skin teasingly. “Two, thank you sir!” you whimper.

To your disappointment, Kai only hums. This time he gives you not a second to prepare yourself before the paddle comes down again, catching the meat of your upper thigh. It hurts so bad it makes your eyes water, your mouth stuck open in a drooly, silent scream. Your cunt throbbed. “Tell me you’re a whore.” Kai demands, voice rough and low, sending shivers down your spine.

“I’m a whore.” you stutter out, wobbly voice barely above a whisper.

Two ear-ringing spanks land hard on your bruising ass, one after another on the exact same spot. Kai’s long fingers catching the very top of your inner thigh— you’re unable to control the shrill shriek that erupts from your parted, panting lips, watery with unshed tears. “Louder.” Kai spits, grabbing a tight fistful of your hair. “Let everyone hear what you are.”

“T-three, four! I’m a whore!” you cry out, your head spinning, your thoughts fragmented. You’ve been broken entirely, you fear, somewhere in the back of your mind. Broken and ruined and never the same again. The thought doesn’t scare you as much as you thought it would. “I’m a whore, sir, thank you!”

“Good girl,” Kai coos, a little condescending. He seemed to enjoy watching you break just as much as you enjoyed being broken. “Just one more, okay?”

He caresses your swollen asscheek with a surprising tenderness, thumb rubbing soothing circles across the burning flesh. Your cunt is so wet that rivulets of slick had begun to drip down your thighs, and by the harsh intake of breath you hear behind you you’re sure that Kai has noticed.

You brace for the spank, face buried in Kai’s sheets, but still your body shook with pain and pleasure as he lands it, vicious and aggressive, right over your throbbing cunt. The spank stung like nothing you had ever felt before, harder than the others before it, the pain reverberating through your core and making you hiccup pathetically— you’re floating, your fragmented and silenced thoughts somewhere far away, but the gentle hand on your hip grounds you back into Kai’s sheets, back into the moment as your body aches and yearns for more. “Five!” you finally manage to spit out, your cheeks wet with tears you weren’t aware you had shed. “Thank you, sir!”

Your punishment ends and it’s like a switch flips in Kai; his hands smooth over your hips and thighs, so so gentle in caressing the blistering globes of your ass.”Such a good girl girl, took your punishment so well…” He croons, pressing feather light kisses to your shoulder blades. “Knew you could do it, my perfect girl. So proud. Are you ready for more?”

“Please,” you pant, chest heaving. You hardly recognize your own voice.

Huening’s breath hitches at your answer, his hips stuttering as he presses them up against your ass. The fabric of his pants scratches deliciously against your pussy, the thick shaft of his cock rock hard and straining, slotted perfectly between your quivering folds— your skin tingles from the kiss he presses against the back of your neck, gentle and chaste. “Such a good girl deserves a reward, doesn’t she?” he purrs into your ear, his warm chest molded to your sweaty back. “What do you want, princess?”

“You.” you beg, sob. “You, please, sir.”

Your answer makes Kai growl roughly into your hair, buck his hips quick and desperate against your ass. His white-knuckle grip on your hips makes your head spin, only growing tighter. “Fuck. You want me? Want my cock? Whatever you want, baby, shit.”

The bed creaks when Kai gets off, his deep little chuckle reverberating through your body. Missing his touch, you roll over onto your back to watch him as he digs through his nightstand drawer, the raw skin of your ass stinging when they brush up against his sheets. Kai giggles triumphantly when he finds a condom, quick to tear the foil with his teeth, and the sweet, innocent noise is almost enough of a distraction from his long fingers pulling down his waistband. His cock slaps up against his belly obscenely when fully freed, flushed pink and twitching, flared mushroom tip leaking tantalizing pearls of precum— you bite your lip to hold in your gasp, cunt clenching around nothing at the sight.

“Why are you looking at me like that..?” Kai laughs, his blonde bangs shading his blushing cheeks as he sheepishly lowers his gaze to the ground. It would be like him, you think, to be embarrassed in a moment like this. He looks so sexy you could cry.

“I… I don’t think it’ll fit..” you admit in a whisper, thighs shaking.

“Oh baby,” Kai coos, sugary sweet, that hesitant nervousness melting into something darker, more alluring. You watch him roll the condom over his thick, leaking cock with bated breath and a throbbing core. “I’ll make it fit, don’t worry.

Kai moves too quickly for you to react, grabbing at your ankle and pulling you down the bed with shocking ease— with his other hand he tugs your panties the rest of the way off of your legs, frees your thighs so they can wrap around his trim waist as he brings your hips together in a delicious clash of skin. His cockhead slides up your slit and knocks hard against your swollen and soaking clit when he pries your legs apart over his shoulders, pushes your knees to your chest to spread you out fully for his view. He stares at your throbbing pussy in rapture, wide eyes with blown pupils making you squirm and fight the urge to hide behind your hands.

“God, you’re so wet,” Kai breaths, sliding two fingers between your folds, spreading around the mess of slick— soon he has them pistoning hard in and out of your hole, scissoring them apart and stretching your quivering gummy walls so perfect, rubbing up against all of your neglected sweet spots as you moan Huening’s name. Your pussy gushes with the lewdest wet sounds, nasty enough to make your ears burn. “Wettest cunt I’ve ever seen. Gotta stretch you so I can fit, yeah?”

“Don’t need it!” you gasp, tugging at the handcuffs still keeping your arms snug behind your back. You want more than anything to touch, to guide Kai to where you need him the most. You don’t know how much more teasing you can take. “I don’t need it, just need you… just fuck me!”

Kai pulls his fingers out, leaves your hole gaping and fluttering as he lines his cock up— his cockhead feels impossibly big pushing up against your entrance, so close it’s threatening to slip inside. “Come on, princess,” Kai teases, rolling his hips. “Good whores say please, don’t they?”

“Please!” you beg, desperate and whiny. You’ve never needed a cock this badly in your entire life. “Fuck me, sir, please!”

Kai lets out the prettiest broken moan, sheathing himself inside you in one smooth thrust. He gives you no time to adjust, immediately settling into a punishing rhythm pounding you into the mattress. You’re immediately overwhelmed in the best possible way, your staccato moans echoing off of the walls.

“B-big!” you hiccup, eyes rolling back from the onslaught of pleasure. His thick cock so deep you can feel him in your belly, so stretched out you fear that he would tear you in half, his fat cockhead knocking at your cervix with every thrust and sending wave after wave of euphoria. His intensity leaves you breathless, unable to think or hardly speak, each thrust surrendering you deeper into the throws of submission and desire. “Too big!”

“‘Too big?’” Kai mocks, his hips unrelenting. “Am I too big for your little cunt, baby? After you were begging for my cock like a little slut?”

You can’t reply, can’t do anything other than moan and cry as Kai splits you open. Kai seems to like that quite a bit.

“Being’ fucked so good you can’t speak? Fuck, that’s so hot. You’re so hot. Been wanting this forever, you have no idea—“ Kai’s rambling, pretty face flushed pink and his brown puppy eyes so dark and wild; he seemed completely lost in the feeling of you, so ruthless let unfocused as his hands tug at the hem of your shirt. You had forgotten you were even still wearing it. “You’re mine now, you hear? Pussy’s all mine. Never— fuck, never letting you go.”

He pulls your top up to bunch at your armpits, your plush tits spilling out to meet Kai’s hungry gaze. Your perky nipples harden from the cold air, flushed and begging to be touched; Kai can’t seem to help but stare in rapture as they bounce with each of his thrusts, his tongue falling out of his panting mouth like a hungry dog. “Pretty tits,” he pants, reaching up to gently slap one of your breasts— he groans at the jiggle, the way you whimper when his palm meets your sensitive flesh. “I’ve always— I’ve always loved your tits.”

He captures your pert bud between his lips, hot wet tongue marking the skin he had just slapped; he’s so rough with it, nibbling and sucking bruises, pinching and twisting the one not in his mouth between his thumb and forefinger— the sensations combined with Kai’s quickening hips, his unbelievable words drives you to the brink of ecstasy, your shrill cries deafening even in your own ears. “Kai—sir!” you beg tearfully, but you’re not sure what for. “Sir, please, please—!”

“Shut up.” Kai hisses, pulling away from your nipple with a wet pop. His hand moves from your overstimulated breast to encircle your throat, grip tight, fingers squeezing just enough to make your breath hitch and your vision fuzzy, ignite your senses— you gasp in shock, your hazy eyes blown wide, his grip adding a delicious edge to your arousal, his words churning hot in your belly… your pussy spasms around Kai’s cock, gummy walls sucking him in impossibly deeper as you finally let the pleasure overtake you.

“I’m gonna cum!” you bleat, your chest heaving, his fist still clasped so perfectly tight around your throat. “Kai, I’m gonna, I—“

“Shh, princess,” Kai laughs breathlessly, his voice cracking and his hips stuttering. His grip loosens, hand coming to rub electrifying circles against your clit. “Gonna cum all over this cock? Fuck— I’m gonna cum too, baby, feels so good! Gonna— wish I fucked you raw, wish I could fill you up… cum with me, okay? Come together with me—!”

You can’t take his words— hot fire in your belly roars, engulfing your entire being, and you’re sent over the edge in a symphony of pleasure. Kai follows close behind with a beautiful whiny moan, his cock twitching inside of you as he fills up the condom. Part of you wishes he had fucked you raw as well, could feel his hot seed paint your walls and fill your belly.

Maybe another time, you supposed.

As you catch your breath, chests rising and falling with the intensity of your shared orgasm, Kai tenderly caresses your waist, surprisingly hesitant and gentle in contrast to all of his touches before. His melted chocolate eyes meet yours, filled with passion and desire and something a little more. “That was…”

“Amazing.” you finish, a blissful smile gracing your lips.

“Can.. can we do that again?” Kai asks eagerly. “Not now, but like. Later. All of the time? We should do that all of the time. Can I take you out on a date sometime?”

taglist: @wintertxt, @boba-beom, @wolfytae-exe, @takemehye, @naomiarai , @mapofthemazeinthemirror , @bunnie-hq , @doumachi, @numxra, @soobinsbuns, @taegimood, @jeniihss, @soobabby, @hhoneylix , @beargyuuzz, @fullbodyblankets , @xenkimmie, @ttaesoob, @shinyngirl , @lxnoluvr, @blxxsss , @ode2soob , @beom-gyubears, @ashiixari, @lurking-coconut, @horanghaelovr, @urstylezx , @mini-mews , @givethnofucketh , @ladyartemesia, @allisonistrashh, @nxlvvr, @lurking-coconut

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: What are your most alluring qualities?

🂺 "Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears." ~ Edgar Allen Poe~

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is meant to help uplift your spirit and highlight qualities about you that transcend space and time and manage to energetically get picked up by lil ol' me. Who then tries to put that inexplicable beauty into words. :)

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

☀︎ Pile One ☀︎ (nine of cups, magician rev., moon rev.,hanged man, page of cups, queen of cups)

⇾ Pink. Yellow. Fuzzy. This feels so warm, there's heat around my waist. Maybe you’re a dancer? Do you like to wear very big pullovers or extra garments around your waist? Corsets? I’m getting a strong emphasis with an attraction toward your waistline. Also, a very airy feeling in my ribs. ⇾ You’re fucking hilarious. Your ability to uplift any room’s vibe is extremely attractive. Strong water energy, Cancer, Pisces, Scorpio, 4th, 8th, 12th house. But not as emotionally heavy. Not the thunderstorm but the sunny, dewy morning after. Literal sunshine. You may have a signature scent. Coconut, vanilla, brown sugar. Before shuffling your cards, my nose was congested but while I was channeling, I had these moments where air would pass through the room, clear my sinuses, and the tingling feeling in my ribs came back. ⇾ You’re a high. A nice clean, mellow high. The brief moments in time when your body completely relaxes and you start flowing with the wind. People are addicted to how you make them feel. Your energy feels like the first hit of that oui. wink wink. People get a hit of your energy and it feels like an escape. This is my intuitive and sensitive dreamy pile. There is a lot of emotional depth here, you’re enigmatic. Being in your presence transports people to a simpler time in their lives. A period where the sun shined brighter, the air was cleaner, and all the color in the world felt more vivid. People can sense the storm raging in the back of your head but can visually see your perseverance and ability to not let darkness rot you, keeping this light and airy energy. It’s almost superhuman, you almost seem not real. You’re impossibly infectious. ⇾ You have a lot of natural inner abundance, you attract a lot in life even if you don’t realize it. I’m getting moksha house energy, a strong wheelhouse of influential power. The duality of your sweet, caring but reserved introspective nature is sexy as fuck, to be honest. It is hypnotizing and ignites people. I also see you have attractive skin, whether it’s clear, glowy, or cute moles, I'm not sure. But something about your skin people just can’t help but want to trace and admire. Jupiter/Pisces energy. Sugary sweet and in your own world, I feel like I have a toothache. Rare kind and light energy. Your attractiveness and romantic influence on people is one of your natural talents pile 1. I can see that with the Jupiterian energy I'm getting. You got 3 major arcana cards back to back. You’re a light in the dark and people are moths to a flame.

"You're pretty like a memory"

☀︎ Pile Two ☀︎ (ace of swords, the tower, knight of swords, 6 of swords rev, the magician, 3 of wands)

⇾ Well for starters, you’re SEXXXYYYY. Not just physically, but your wit, intelligence…people’s attraction to you gives me the image of Joan of Arc’s admirers. People perceive you as gorgeous, brave, and intimidatingly capable. ⇾ I’m getting Uranian energy, Yes, something about you is very mercurial, but this is next level. In modern astrology, Uranus is a higher octave of Mercury and symbolizes putting these higher-level ideas into action. Your ability to think of a goal and go after it is attractive. Or have a belief and fiercely defend it. I don’t know if you’re aware, but you have an innate ability to monetize or profit off of your ideas and skills. Especially with all this sword energy, the 3 of wands, AND the magician. Mane, you make shit HAPPEN. You make shit shake. A lot of people say they’re going to do things they have no intention of starting or say things they don’t actually believe. You are a rare exception to that. You put your money where your mouth is, and the amount of willpower and intelligence you possess is intimidating yet so very very attractive. ⇾ There’s gotta be some major concentration in your natal chart, a stellium, a reoccurring modality, sign, not sure but your energy is uniquely focused and intense. You may sometimes battle with excess mental energy. Anxiety, overthinking, etc. You’re a harbinger of change. Wherever you go, major changes follow and there is something very important about your energy. Your footprint in this world is larger than the average person’s. Your sense of self and your loyalty to your authenticity and values is highly admirable. *whispers* maybe even enviable, watch out for negative intentions and trust your discernment. ⇾ Whether you’re a man or woman watching this, you intimidate a lot of men. You’re the creme of the crop so to speak. You are the human embodiment of a warrior. Strategic, brave, and your fire cannot be dimmed. You have this eternal energy to you. Your name will be sung long after you leave this Earth. There will be tales and songs about you. There is an emphasis on making a change and legacy here, 10th house/ Capricorn Energy. Solar and Jupiterian energy is possible too, there's a lot of king semblance here. I feel like your frame is very attractive. Defined muscles especially around your neck and shoulders. Fox attractiveness. Sharp features, or some special emphasis with your lips, jaw, and teeth.  There is a lot of sexual attraction in this pile. I was shuffling and getting flashes of old Wattpad enemies to lovers and dark academia rivalry fanfiction 😭😭. I’m getting a headrush. Maybe you feel like a headrush to people at times.  You might look good in darker, cool-tone colors or have dark hair. ⇾ You make people aware of their shortcomings and that triggers them. You trigger strong emotions in people. People see you as superior to many, you’re either singled out in a crowd positively or negatively. People either love or hate you but it is undeniable that you are sexy and very fucking capable. You also have the ace of wands at the bottom of the deck…like I said…sexy and capable.

"Don't look at me with those eyes"

☀︎ Pile Three ☀︎ (The tower, queen of swords, three of pentacles, queen of wands, 9 of wands)

⇾ This is my dark feminine pile. 🎶Sheee’sssss a maaaann eeeaaatttttttuuuhhhhhhhh🎶, Ironically, the black cat got chosen for this pile. The tower paired with the two queen cards screams shadowy feminine to me, but balanced. The three of pentacles create a bridge between your intense fire and air energy. You balance your shadowy, detached and your fiery, passionate nature and it creates this intoxicating dichotomy that people can not get enough of. ⇾ You also are reserved and guarded, people can tell it is hard to gain your trust and gain access to your inner world so people subconsciously try hard to earn your favor. When I was laying out your cards my eyes got heavy and I felt like I needed to go to bed. You have a very sultry sluggishness to you. Think about Corpse Bride, how her eyes were always low, she moved slowly, and her voice was low. You have a dark veil over your character that is very alluring. There may be an 8th house or Mars emphasis in your natal chart. Make sure to check your planetary midpoints. ⇾ I am getting a Gabriette Betchel vibe. There's a darkness around the eyes of the man standing in the nine of wands. There is a draw to the shape of your eyes, especially if they droop a little or you have sunken eyes. Maybe you like dark makeup if you’re into makeup. This pile definitely had a crush on Morticia Adams growing up. You ARE Morticia Adams. Pretty Rave Girl is playing in my head, I don’t associate your energy with the rave aesthetic but I get the sense that people fantasize about you. You’re naturally mysterious and detached and most people only have an idea of you rather than a one-on-one connection. You may face a lot of projections, there’s fog around people’s perception of you. Plutonian-type power, insanely magnetic, with Neputinian-type glamour, veiled and shapeshifting. There may be some WLW baddies in this collective. ⇾ I feel like a very small number of people truly know you, you are reserved and selective with your energy and let me tell you, that is the most attractive practice a human being can implement. You are a once-in-a-lifetime personality that people dream about embodying. YOU ARE AN AESTHETIC. Well not exactly, I’m not limiting you down to your appearance. But you are the ideal embodiment of the dark feminine, man-eater aesthetic. The other three piles felt like concepts that I tried to piece together to paint a picture, your pile feels like a tried and true timeless dark sexiness that we've seen in cinema and music videos throughout the years. There is range here though, I’m feeling anywhere between Morticia Adams to Effy from Skins. The allure of Hollywood’s bombshells mixed with the angst and self-guardedness of America’s outcasted teen icons. I’m seeing an emerald snake, if you’re into sidereal astrology you may have ashlesha placements. I could write an entire essay about the fucking bullshit you've endured and THRIVED FROM but this is already getting a lil lengthy lol. Just know that you are living testament to the saying “I get knocked down ten times but get up eleven.” Stay sexy pookie.

"You got your HP Lovecraft... your Edgar Allan Poe"

☀︎ Pile Four ☀︎ (high priestess, two of swords, 4 of pentacles, the empress, knight of pentacles, 10 of cups)

⇾ UHHHH THE DRAAMMAAA. Bae, the high priestess FLEW out. You’re angelic. No mf backtalk. I don’t know about the stereotypical angel, but something about your presence is otherworldly. So intense but hard to conceptualize, can’t classify your energy as anything less than angelic. People see you as something holy and righteous. A theme of fairness and divinity is strong here. I’m seeing the virgin (Virgo, purity) and a gavel (libra, balance and fairness.) Your energy is always in a state of balance and harmony. Temperance did not come out, but I’d bet my top dollar that it would have if I kept pulling. ⇾ I’m hearing a steady water stream and the flaps of bird wings. People come to you for peace and tranquility. Your aura is serene and healing. Being near you is like transporting to a haven with clean water, a sustainable garden, fresh air, and BUNNIES. An image of a ton of white bunnies just came to me. This is not an 18+ reading, so I won’t go into detail but bunnies represent fertility and high sexual energy. You have an abundance of creativity. The best representation of people’s attraction to you I can put into words is like seeing raw energy. There’s this movie that came out in 2017 called Annihilation and there’s a scene where the main character comes into contact with pure energy and is so entranced by it that she just stares at it head empty, blankly in complete awe. THAT is how people see you. Like c’mon high priestess, the empress, 10 of cups, don’t ever fucking question yourself. You have an undeniably divine aura. ⇾ You’re a big deal, you're energy is very enlightening and calm but there is a heavy weight to it. Everything you do in life makes an impression and holds weight. Your thoughts matter, your conversation changes lives, and your very presence makes an imprint on people’s souls. Virgo 6th house, libra 7th house, Scorpio 8th house, Pisces 12th house. ⇾ You also have a very stable, Earthy nature to you with the 4 of pentacles and the Empress. To me, this is pure wealth. You will see a lot of luxury in your lifetime. You are a giver, you have a lot to offer the world. You are the epitome of “fill my own cup and let it overflow to those around me.” You share your abundance and prosperity follows you. You have the divine understanding that life is all about balance and what you give, you receive tenfold. ⇾ People think you look really good in white. Blonde hair could be a good look on you. Any aesthetic that involves purity or innocence really suits you. Personally, I’d say you look fucking killer in red hair. ⇾ With the ten of cups, I’m getting major wish-fulfillment vibes. When suitors see you they hear an angelic chime in their ear (I hear it right now) and music starts playing. DREAM GIRL. By the strictest definition too, you’re very dreamy and your allure is cloudy, people are afraid if they touch you, you’ll float away. You could have prominent Neptune placements. Do you like to sing? Harmoney and melodic sounds keep popping up. I'm thinking of Euterpe, the muse of music. ⇾ Your abundance leaks into your appearance (look for aspects to your ascendant, especially Neptune, Jupiter, and the Sun), you look very youthful and hydrated. It’s going to sound creepy but from a biological, primal-lizard brain perspective, you look fruitful and like you'd bear many blessings and children. Your skin is well hydrated and plump, your hair is strong and luscious, and you look overall very healthy.

"Be Not Afraid."

ahhh that was so much fun! to those who resonated with a pile, thank you for giving me the pleasure of experiencing your energy and reading for you. if you liked it let me know :)

[intuitionallyspiritual]

ρꪖᥴ (ρ𝓲ᥴ𝘬 ꪖ ᥴꪖ𝘳ᦔ) 𝘳ꫀꪖᦔ𝓲ꪀᧁ

ꪗꪮꪊ𝘳 ꪶ𝓲ᠻꫀ ꪖ𝘴 ꪖ ᥴꫀꪶꫀ᥇𝘳𝓲𝓽ꪗ

Description: choose the pile that you feel most drawn to. It helps if you close your eyes and let your eyes guide you.

Warning ⚠️ ‼️: This is a general reading meaning it may not fully resonate with you as their are many energies engaging in a pile

Let me know your opinions in the comments

(Shoutout to them for making me think about doing this: @bitdemonic @evangelinesbible @allmyloveandyours

ᥴꫝꪮꪮ𝘴ꫀ ꪖ ρ𝓲ꪶꫀ:

ρ𝓲ꪶꫀ 1 (𝘴ɀꪖ, ᦔꪮ𝓳ꪖ ᥴꪖ𝓽)

ꫝꪮ᭙ ρꫀꪮρꪶꫀ ᭙𝓲ꪶꪶ ꪜ𝓲ꫀ᭙ ꪗꪮꪊ

People will view you as a very hard worker. You may also just show up on random things that isn’t in you element for example if you are a singer you’ll be seen in a movie or if your an actor/actress you’ll start a music career. By in your element I don’t mean your bad at what isn’t your element I just mean that you’ll be seen in places that wasn’t what you were known for. You like to try new things out, because of that people think you have a tendency to take on more than what you can handle and over exert yourself, however once you start something you finish it but it can lead to long breaks. They feel as though you are very creative in your way of thinking and honestly this is giving trend setter. You create your own path in what you want to deliver to the world. You don’t just stick to one genre, it goes all over the place, you have quite the duality and you fulfill each and every one. You are known for being quite the happy person, you don’t like to show what you would consider to be a weakness so people would see you as a very happy and excited about life however you also have that elegance to you where it doesn’t come off as ditzy. You give off a sexy vibe effortlessly.

ꪗꪮꪊ𝘳 ᠻꪖꪀ𝘴

Okay let me tell you, your fans are VERY passionate about you and will go to war for you at any given moment because a lot of them are going to be younger. Your most influential fans are teens to young adults. They do get confused on the genre changes and all the other projects that you do however they are standing 10 rows down for you. Your fans are hilarious and are the type to make memes out of you so be prepared. Your fans have big pride in you and they probably have your face as their profile picture. They are DEVOTED on another level. Your fans are also very confident in themselves so it makes me think that you act as a bada$$ in shows or make bada$$ music. Don’t be surprised to see edits of yourself.

ꪑꪖꪶꫀ ᧁꪖɀꫀ ꪮ𝘳 ᠻꫀꪑꪖꪶꫀ ᧁꪖɀꫀ?

Male Gaze is very prominent here and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You just exert the physical appearance that men/masculine people love. Your male fans are very funny and witty.

ᦔꪖ𝓽𝓲ꪀᧁ ꪶ𝓲ᠻꫀ

Let’s just say you are going to be VERY popular in terms of the dating life. I see that people overseas even find you very attractive. You’ll get lots of dating offers from rich people, athletes, other musicians etc you have lots of options to choose from. You’ll be very happy and content within your dating life and if your significant other messes up you can just go straight to the next. I’m seeing that you’ll probably be quite famous for going on to the next because it won’t be private considering your popularity. You’ll attract all genders. Just know that rich people will always try to look for an opportunity to make you theirs.

᭙ꫝꪖ𝓽 ꪗꪮꪊ ᭙ꪮꪊꪶᦔ ᥇ꫀ ᥴꪖꪀᥴꫀꪶꪶꫀᦔ ᠻꪮ𝘳

Remember when I said you guys would like to explore different things? Yeah… you may unknowingly do a project that has some horrible undertones to it that you may have not even knew about. Like working with/being friends with someone problematic or acting in something that would be considered problematic and things to that nature but I don’t feel like it would completely end your career.

ρ𝓲ꪶꫀ 2 (ᧁ𝓲𝘳ꪶ 𝘳ꪖ𝓲𝘴𝓲ꪀᧁ ᠻ𝓲ꪀᧁꫀ𝘳)

ꫝꪮ᭙ ρꫀꪮρꪶꫀ ᭙𝓲ꪶꪶ ꪜ𝓲ꫀ᭙ ꪗꪮꪊ

I don’t know why this is giving me politician vibes but I feel they would view you as someone who speaks on their views like everyone and their mom will know how you feel about certain views you’ll be very vocal about it. (If you are a woman you may be the oldest girl in your family idk just kind of got that feeling to it) they feel as though you have a concept and you like to stick to it, it’s not that you don’t have duality you just prefer to stick to what you KNOW will be a success. You also give out a lot of content so your fans will be spoiled with pictures and videos of you. They view you as very creative and imaginative I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if you had your own sound and genre. You know what your fans want and you articulate that into your music/acting or any type of celebrity you want to be. You give off big sister/brother energy tbh just very reliable and people come to you with their problems. (You may have Pisces in your chart or a Neptune based chart) you only like when people see you succeed so a lot of the time your fans never see you in a bad light because you only give out positive energy. Very hardworking as well.

ꪗꪮꪊ𝘳 ᠻꪖꪀ𝘴

Your fans are… questionably intense they do not play about you whatsoever this is giving very much die hard fans however I’m getting that your fans have a reputation for saying and doing toxic stuff so your fans do give you a bad reputation in a sense. HUGE fan base however i feel like your art really touches the soul for most of these people. It’s giving heavy Aries energy and Leo actually just fire signs in general. Your fans are very independent people and you may preach individuality in your artistry. There is a good side to your fan base however is that they really can make change happen it’s honestly giving BTS Army and their popularity that is what is reminds me of. They are very territorial of you. Also a lot of your fans may be physically blessed look wise.

ꪑꪖꪶꫀ ᧁꪖɀꫀ ꪮ𝘳 ᠻꫀꪑꪖꪶꫀ ᧁꪖɀꫀ?

Both. You have the great ability to attract both gazes with your individuality and that is an extremely great attribute to have in the entertainment industry. You probably thought you would be the male gaze however your fan base is just strong and powerful and the power it has also consist of feminine power.

ᦔꪖ𝓽𝓲ꪀᧁ ꪶ𝓲ᠻꫀ

Emotionally unavailable is what this is giving. I don’t think you’ll be too wrapped up in the dating scene I feel like your artistry is much more important to you than dating or risking what you have. It’s not that you won’t have any options in fact you’ll have PLENTY but I feel like your just not interested in them because you have you walls up in terms of dating idk if you have been hurt in the past or you really just don’t care about relationships but yeah you want be wrapped up in the dating scene you’ll be the type to marry a fan and call it a day. I doubt you’ll have any relationships within the industry.

᭙ꫝꪖ𝓽 ꪗꪮꪊ ᭙ꪮꪊꪶᦔ ᥇ꫀ ᥴꪖꪀᥴꫀꪶꪶꫀᦔ ᠻꪮ𝘳

Your fans lmao. Like I said your fans are pretty ruthless like they might have a reputation of doxing people. You would probably have to control them or find a way to sub stain them because they will be your downfall if not. Every fan group has its bad eggs but your bad eggs are 60% of the fan base.

ρ𝓲ꪶꫀ 3 (𝘴ꫝꪖᦔꪮ᭙ ᭙ꪮꪑꪖꪀ)

ꫝꪮ᭙ ρꫀꪮρꪶꫀ ᭙𝓲ꪶꪶ ꪜ𝓲ꫀ᭙ ꪗꪮꪊ

They view you as very introverted or just keep to yourself. You don’t really let other people in and you move in silence really well like you might randomly drop an album or something you’re included in on a random Tuesday afternoon with no pre warning. You’re perceived as more dark not in a bad way but like in a you might literally like to wear dark clothing or like to wear black. Your style in artistry may be on the more unique side. You probably won’t be very active on social media just very secretive. People view you as someone who can take a lot of shit. They actually believe you went through some hard stuff and tbh you might have. They feel as though you have a lot of disappointments within your artistry like you may like something one day and may not the other day kind of indecisive. They feel as though you are underrated and under appreciated. Your artistry is truly like no other and people don’t understand why you are not getting the attention you deserve.

ꪗꪮꪊ𝘳 ᠻꪖꪀ𝘴

I don’t feel like your fan base will be that big and tbh that can be a good thing especially when that entails paparazzi and stalkers. Although small it will be mighty. Your fans are very passionate about getting you and your art more recognition. They may reply or watch your art constantly to make you more money. They are very consistent but you may need to work on making your fans happy because they may feel like at times you don’t appreciate them because you don’t post regularly or you may forget that you are famous and just kind of neglect them so be careful with that. Unlike you these people are happy I feel like your fan base mostly consist of people who have that “I can fix them” mentality.

ꪑꪖꪶꫀ ᧁꪖɀꫀ ꪜ𝘴 ᠻꫀꪑꪖꪶꫀ ᧁꪖɀꫀ?

Both however the female gaze is a little more prominent here. About 30% male and 60% female gaze. There is something about you that entices feminine audiences. You may have a lot of people in the LGBT+ community or you yourself may be of the community but regardless both will be there.

ᦔꪖ𝓽𝓲ꪀᧁ ꪶ𝓲ᠻꫀ

Your dating life won’t be open to the public you keep that very private. However what’s interesting is I feel as though you might get into a relationship with another artist from the industry. You’ll just keep it very private and hidden and nobody will know about it. There is very few people that you are willing to open yourself up to and I feel as though it probably won’t go public until marriage. Very private can’t get much info.

᭙ꫝꪖ𝓽 ꪗꪮꪊ ᭙ꪮꪊꪶᦔ ᥇ꫀ ᥴꪖꪀᥴꫀꪶꪶꫀᦔ ᠻꪮ𝘳

Pissing people off within the industry. I feel like you don’t really like “fake” people and the industry is filled with them so you may have to resting bitch face and people won’t like it because they will feel as though you are disrespectful when in reality you just aren’t gonna fake smile for anyone if you don’t feel happy your not going to smile.

ρ𝓲ꪶꫀ 4 (ꪀꫀᥴ𝘬ꪶ𝓲ꪀꫀ)

ꫝꪮ᭙ ρꫀꪮρꪶꫀ ᭙𝓲ꪶꪶ ꪜ𝓲ꫀ᭙ ꪗꪮꪊ

People view you as someone who had a bad past however you fixed yourself and your mentality. By bad past I mean like things relating to trauma so you may be open to telling your past or people just have that belief of you. Like to could concur anything if you tried. Very multi-talented. You don’t like sticking with one thing you like to experiment like pile 1 however unlike pile 1 you guys like to dabble in things but you will never go out of your comfort zone. You’re not impulsive and you always have a plan. You like things to go accordingly and you may have Virgo placements in your chart. They view you as someone who is very self aware and you know your limits and what you are good at. They feel your very empathic and considerate. You will always try to do your best to make life enjoyable for the next person. You will definitely spoil your fans with content. There will always be something new about you to watch. You also may think quick to responses which make you witty. However be careful not to seem too “fake” just be real and be you I feel like you want to known as perfect. You make people feel safe and protected especially your fans. It’s giving MOTHER.

ꪗꪮꪊ𝘳 ᠻꪖꪀ𝘴

Your fans will feel very connected and personal to you. It’s giving mother and child relationship like they take your advice with the most consideration out of everyone. Your fans are not a mess you have very coordinated fans like the type to organize a concert or organize a meet and greet for you. I feel like your fans will be majority of adults because there is a sense of maturity here and appreciation unlike any of the piles they really admire you but you need to be careful not to let this go to far because I’m seeing that it may go too far with a very small percentage they may try to imitate you. But for the most part your fans represent a part of you and you will NOT let them embarrass you. Neutral level of fame not too big and not too small.

ꪑꪖꪶꫀ ᧁꪖɀꫀ ꪜ𝘴 ᠻꫀꪑꪖꪶꫀ ᧁꪖɀꫀ?

You manage to not only capture both gazes but other gazes as well, literally everybody. Well not literally but your fan base is very diverse. A bit more on the male gaze about 55% while female is 45% very close nonetheless. You’re very physically attractive and your personality is very likable. You have the ability to adapt well to each personality.

ᦔꪖ𝓽𝓲ꪀᧁ ꪶ𝓲ᠻꫀ

Let’s just say there is never a dull moment in your romantic life that’s for sure. You will have many powerful suitors millionaires, Athletes, singers, just people who have lots of influence you catch their eyes. I’m seeing you’ll mostly date within the industry and you’ll probably go through consistent breakups as you want to find “the one” but you will find them eventually. They will be an artist like you or in that field.

᭙ꫝꪖ𝓽 ꪗꪮꪊ ᭙ꪮꪊꪶᦔ ᥇ꫀ ᥴꪖꪀᥴꫀꪶꪶꫀᦔ ᠻꪮ𝘳

You would probably cause drama due to relationships. Like you may have broken up with someone powerful and dated another powerful person and now they have beef and etc. just drama out of love and you’ll somehow get involved in the mix.

Thank you for reading let me know what you think in the comments, follow for more 💜

[paperclipninja]

I can't believe I forgot one of the most significant moments (imo) when I was mulling over duality etc here, and that is when Crowley goes up to Heaven to try and figure out what's going on. Actually, it's more than just multiple layers of truth. Yes there are a couple of truths at play, but as an audience we are given SO much information in this scene that it's almost hard to take it all in so I'm going to try and lay it out.

Here is what we learn in the whole scene:

Crowley knows that Muriel is a scrivener, including that they're 37th class. How?? Up until Crowley tricking Muriel into taking him to Heaven, there'd been no conversation about their angelic status

Crowley has a solid understanding of the way Heaven works and how to get around it (bees/once you're in, that they never change passwords etc)

Crowley has access to high level files

Saraqael seems to have a fondness? towards Crowley and allows him to view the trial, let's him know what happened and tells Muriel off but also not really

We get all the info about Gabriel and what happened

That Heaven wipes memories when demoting angels

When the alarm goes off because Aziraphale uses his halo, Crowley declares 'let's get back there' and directs Saraqael, 'you too' and they follow without question (though Crowley's original plan may have been to go and get Heavenly reinforcement but still, interesting the way he takes control and they just listen)

So the overarching duality in this scene - yes it is hilarious, the way Crowley gets Muriel to take him to Heaven in the first place and of course this whole situation:

but it's also an incredible act of love.

The entire season establishes unmistakably that Crowley has some very real trauma from his experience of being in Heaven as Aziraphale and cast into the hellfire, highlighted through his reactions to JimGabriel. Not to mention his history with Heaven and all that.

So in trying to come up with a solution to the demons attacking the bookshop, knowing that Heaven no longer have any real interest in helping Aziraphale, he willingly goes up there, the place he has made his feelings about very clear, to try and find some answers.

Yes this is a demonstration of Crowley's love for Aziraphale but it's also a demonstration of his love of humans and humanity. He puts aside his own feelings, takes a real risk (because he couldn't have known how any of the senior angels might respond to him being there...could he? Or what if the Metatron had seen him there? That's another pondering for another day...) and goes to the one place he has outright said he doesn't want to go back to, just to try and find a way to protect the humans and help Aziraphale.

THIS, to me, is the entire crux of where this is all heading. It's exactly the same reason Aziraphale gets in that lift. At the end of the day, Crowley and Aziraphale love humanity and want to protect it, even if it means risking themselves.

The multiple truths of this scene actually create a distraction I think. The humour of Crowley's outfit and little prancy toes make us think this is a light and funny moment, while we're also delighted by his subversion of Heavens 'rules' and processes and the revelations about Gabriel. It is both funny and informative. It does give us hints about Crowley's past while moving the current story forward.

But I think it's easy to miss the actions here, and that is that Crowley, who was cast out of Heaven, witnessed the ease with which they continue to cast angels into hellfire, saw the callousness of the Supreme Archangel as he condemned his best friend to no longer exist, put aside all he's witnessed and experienced because of love.

This is a love story. The love story of an angel and a demon, yes, but the love story of two entities, hereditary enemies, who fall in love with humanity and whose love for one another will give them the strength to protect it. At least, that's my take on it anyway :)

[vantabone]

i read the tang bo side story and i collected my thoughts down below

i cant share where i read it, as the one who translated it asked not to share it outside! sorry!

i already had some info abt the side story based on kr fandom's review & talk abt it on twitter but its a different thing to read it all together...!!!!!

this is pre first meeting... just thinking about tang bo...

there's this pervasive air of desolation around tang bo. i guess you could even classify him as depressed here: he states he's addicted to the strong mix of alcohol and poison, and the first thing he's described with is smelling strongly of it.

he's short with everyone (to the point they sent out apyeong instead since tang bo's soft on him) and doesn't seem to care much about his responsibilities.... he seems aimless and dragged down, actually... which is a stark contrast to how chung myung remembers him: a guy who loves freedom and a "bright" person.

his attitude is justified too; he's keenly aware of the downfall his family is subject too because of their methods. he's ostracized within the family as well. he's treated with fear and avoidance. (helped also by his attitude usually, which i guess makes it a loop)

only two people are shown to treat him normally, apyeong and the current tang clan head. the former is the only other person who is also aware of the eventual downfall of the family.

no wonder his personality was like that.... he's pretty much helpless....... (i also like that duality of him. dark tang bo you are sexy.... sorry i find your miserableness sexy...)

(interesting to note is that this part of his personality is only shown in a later part of the novel when the pov isn't chung myung)

anyway, ending is that they reason only by proving himself to be the strongest he can make a reasonable stand against the elders of the family.

we alr know how that ends...lol...he challenges chung myung and gets beat up. contrary to popular fanon, chung myung acknowledges his strength with a grin. he gives tang bo advice, steals his money and hops away.

my favourite moment is right after that!!! face on the ground, utterly humiliated within seconds: tang bo laughs. he laughs and laughs, uncaring if his cheeks hurt or people find him weird. it's the happiest moment of his life.

i think this was the turning point of his life.... the metaphorical taking the fish out of the pond.... the chung myung effect at its finest. he finally has a solid goal in life... a direction...drive.... he's a lil bit acting like how chung myung remembers him!

THIS IS PART OF THE TANGCHUNG AGENDA!!!!!!! if you think about how tang bo was helping chung myung's find his reason to laugh, to live past the war... it's because chung myung did the same to tang bo in his darkest moment. they both, at one point, became each other's "light". what was biga cooking with these two seriously.......?

my other favorite moment was tang bo complaining about his family and chung myung saying he'll "take care of it" ominously. leave it to him, okay. probably delighted at a chance of beating someone up rightfully.

its hilarious to find out he's beaten up two generations of the tang elders hes sooo funny

[shinelikethunder]

people who think everything good about SPN was an accident, please consider that season 4 knew exactly what the fuck it was doing when it gave Karin Konoval - who played the mom in X-Files 4x02 "Home" - a cameo in the "feral incest children living in the walls" episode

people who think SPN always did those things on purpose, or worse, that every production choice carries deep inter- or intra-textual significance whose most esoteric pop-cultural associations can always be imported wholesale and ascribed to authorial intent... please consider that if season 11 had any idea what the fuck it was doing when it blithely used johnny mathis's "wonderful! wonderful!" as cheery background mood music in the banshee episode, everyone involved deserved to be sacked on the spot for narrative incompetence.

context: X-Files 4x02 "Home" is SPN founding daddy Kim Manners' single most infamous work (affectionate), and that song is so iconically and cursedly and memorably associated with it that it sets off kill bill sirens in the heads of people who've been scarred for life by that ep. and i simply think. that if the show did not mean to imply via soundtrack that something deeply deranged was afoot here. (which, in context, it clearly did not.) then someone in that decision-making chain should've fucking intervened and told the others that a solid chunk of their most dedicated, longstanding viewers would hear it - consciously or unconsciously - as a signal that an absolute doozy of another shoe was about to drop. and that this signal would look deliberate to anyone who'd consciously identified it.

like this is on the level of "you cannot innocently play bobby vinton's 1963 hit single 'blue velvet' over a close-up of a character's ear without making ~10% of your audience wonder when said ear is going to get cut off." except multiply that by "and if you are late season 2 of twin peaks and you were co-created by david lynch, even if he's not directly involved at this point and the show has gone to shit, that audience percentage will rise dramatically and it will be actively confusing to them if it turns out you're not implying something on purpose." just. absolute clown foolery.

anyway this, in a nutshell, is both The Maddening Duality Of Trying To Suss Out Creative Intentions Behind SPN and a fucking hilarious symptom of the show's descent into amnesiac apathy about its own past. is spn aware, in a doylist wink-nudge referential sense, of Our Guy's X-Files Ep That The Network Famously Refused To Ever Air Again? flamboyantly yes AND flamboyantly no, thanks for asking! enjoy your accidental jumpscare and deep sense of unease <3

[tarotwithavi]

What surprises others about you?

What are the things that surprise people about you? Why are people surprised by you?

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Piles 1~2~3 , 4~5~6

Masterlist paid services sale customize readings

Hope you have a great time reading! Thank you for reading this! I love you!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 1

People are surprised by your goofiness my pile one. You may appear as a aloof and cold person at first and people could never imagine how hilarious you are in real life because they seem to have an biased version of you. People are surprised by your easygoing personality. Some of you may be the class clown or just act super goofy around your friends and people are surprised by that. When you're alone you are quite and just minding your business but when you're with your friends you act as the craziest person alive. Your duality is a talent like how can you change around people is amazing. To be honest people never know the real you and always have a version of you that they have created in their heads. But everyday you prove them wrong. I'm getting Yinyang ☯️ here. You have a very balanced personality and can fit in any group.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 2

People are surprised by how you can stand up for yourself and the people you love. I'm getting that people might assume you as someone who won't ever stand up for themselves and doesn't want to get involved in any kind of trouble. But when someone messes with you , you show them what trouble they have gotten themselves into. You don't tolerate any kind of bullshitt from anyone. People think that they can mess with you because of your sweetness and kindness. Especially people might try to come after your friends for some reason and you stand up for your friends just the way you stand up for yourself. And that's surprising for people. You know the sweet, kind friend in books who sort of takes a 360° turn when someone messes with the people they love. That's the vibe you give to people.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 3

People are surprised by how unbiased you are pile 3 . Yeah you love and support your loved ones but you won't help them or take their side when you know what they did is wrong. You have a great sense of justice my pile 3 and that's great. People love the way you can take decision Without being biased and people love and respect you for that. You love your people dearly and want the best for them but won't ever tolerate any kind of injustice even if that means opposing your loved ones. What's wrong is wrong no matter what in your eyes and i myself respect you for that. We need more people like you pile 3 . You treat everyone equally and are very compassionate and people are surprised by that. To be honest people may see you as the type to do anything for the people you love and people may think that you'll always take their side but when they come in contact with your unbiased side they are shocked by that.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 4

Aha pile 4 ! I love your energy! People are surprised by how fast you can cut people off your life without feeling guilty or sad. A lot of people might assume that you are a pushover and they try to cross your boundaries thinking that you will forgive them but Nah nah they are completely wrong about that. You see disrespect you walk the other way. You see people crossing boundaries you walk the other way. You're right now very high on self love and setting healthy boundaries with people. You hate it even someone wastes your time and doesn't give back the same energy and efforts. And if someone isn't matching the vibe you leave 'em. People might think that you're very hungry for love and become attached with people easily but what they don't see is that you're not hungry for their love infact you don't even care about them.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 5

People are surprised by how unbothered you are. You're not concerned about what's going on with the world or with the media/celebs. I'm getting that people might even call you boring for not going with the trend or having latest updates on a celebs life. And they are surprised by that. Like "you don't know what's going on with xyz's life? How can you not know about that!?? " Something like this. I feel like you're only focused on your goal and some people might even say that you're too young to be overworking yourself like that Or you're in your own world. But my pile5 i know you want to achieve success as soon as you can in your life that's why you're working so hard. That's okay that's the kind of life you chose. I'm also get that people are surprised by your dedicated for your work and how you don't see anything else apart from your work. You're a gem pile 5 remember that.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Pile 6

Your voice haha. People really love your voice or there's just something about your voice that surprises people. Some of you may even sing and when you sing people are shocked because they could never imagine you sing like that. There's just something about the way you talk and your choices of words that surprises people. I'm seeing that you're a great friend and someone to go for an advice or when you're feeling sad or down. You make people feel at home and you make them feel peaceful and that is shocking for some. People can always come to you for advice without feeling judged. I'm also getting that talking to you is like therapy. You make them feel always. And let me tell you pile 6 that's special af. You're special af. But please take time for yourself too and let yourself feel emotions too. You don't have to take others burdens alright? Oh and finding balance is going to be important for you .

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

[polin-erospsyche]

A lot of rumours have been circulating around the spoilers dropped about Colin and his sexual life. My main thought on this is: intimacy.

Of course, I have to start by saying that if it’s true, I don’t like it, I don’t agree with it, and I feel uncomfortable seeing it. But hey! The man is single and a grown adult, so he does what he wants.

However, I do think that if we want to see half of the things in the book, including some kinky talk and female sexual pleasure on Pen’s part (help, I’ve been in naughty jail for quite some time now) it is crucial for Colin to know a minimum about what he’s doing. That only happens if he’s had time to discover his own sexuality (although it does take away from the sweetness of them discovering themselves with each other).

Yet, that sweetness might still be here and this is where intimacy comes in. If it’s true and Colin is well and truly in his slutty era, I actually don’t think it’s so ooc of him. We’re talking here about a man who, after his first trip abroad, brought home drugs to get high on.

You know what that is? A sort of escapism.

I see his thrysts in brothels as another sort of escapism. Especially if he’s having threesomes.

No strings attached, no single person to focus on = no intimacy.

We know this man is seeking escape. We’ve also been told he has some demons of his own he needs to wrestle with this season. I think one of those demons might be an intimacy issue.

I mean we’re talking about a man who believed he was so in love in season one he was ready to marry immediately. Only to later find out that his trust had been abused (I’m not commenting on what Marina chose to do, I’m just saying that he most likely felt extremely betrayed). And even if he says that he’s moved on in season 2, which his sexual experiences in season 3 will attest to, that boy is probably quite scarred on a mental level and is probably still escaping all sorts of real attachment. I mean even the swagger shows it. He knows he’s handsome and he’s having fun with it, but he is probably nowhere close to being ready to commit when the season starts.

And in comes our beloved Pen and she’s taking none of his shit. Worse, she will see right through him and eventually confront him about his need to escape, which will lead to a passionate carriage make out scene (mind still in the gutter, I do apologise, honestly send help). And for Colin, who possesses all that swagger, is visiting brothels and having threesomes, for his knees to buckle and to have trouble breathing because Pen gives him a compliment about his eyes in the context of a suitor lesson? It’s absolutely hilarious.

That man will always melt into a puddle when he’s with her because it is her. It is Pen, his Pen, a part of the family and someone who brings out the vulnerability in him he is so desperate to hide away.

I think, just as much as she needs to grow in confidence, he needs to grow in his trust in a relationship and to stop running and seeking escape. And I think they will help each other grow in that way. They will discover themselves with each other because there will be that intimacy and that vulnerability that these two do not have with any one else.

Of course that is also what might make the reveal of Lady Whistledown even worse for Colin. Because she is in part responsible for the pain and the betrayal he’s experienced. She did try to warn him and he did not listen so she felt like she had no other choice. But it was badly handled and he says that too. So we might get a duality where Colin finds that intimacy and that trust in Penelope and only her, but he also cannot just ignore how she’s responsible for his demons. And they will have to learn to grow around each other’s best and worst parts and decide whether they are what they want or not.

Anyway all this rambling to say that the sex scenes (if we do get them, I’m still not totally convinced) are probably a way to explore Colin’s demons but mean nothing. And I think (hope) we’ll be able to see the stark contrast in his attitude when he’s with Pen. Because after all, this is Pen, and this is love, and this is nothing like he’s ever felt before.

[half-an-hour-hence]

Underrated friendships in Ghosts part 2!

Captain and Robin

Genuinely don’t know how I forgot about them on the first one but here we are

Besties who infodump together stay together

Kind of like the naughty x goody two shoes friendship trope

The stupid little comments they make about each other, like when Robin says ‘you are’ or ‘you’re a metaphor’, or when they make a bet on whether or not Pat gets sucked off moved on are so silly and they make me laugh every time

Pat and Mary

Possibly the most SEVERELY underrated duo yet

I think it’s just so adorable that they learn from each other and appreciate their differences

The duality of their friendship gets me every time as well. Like the Metal Cow scenes in 1x04 were fucking HILARIOUS and then you have the scene in 4x01 where Mary’s talking about her equivalent of a holiday with her husband and Pat gets all emotional. That scene has devastated me forever

Julian and Fanny

Perverted Tory Nation rise up‼️

Love how on the surface they seem completely different but they’re actually just ultra horny. Kudos to the Idiots for these two icons

Definitely wanted Julian to continue being a bad influence on her. That way Fanny could break free from her strict rules about how to act so that she could find freedom in doing more reckless and mischievous things

Robin and Pat

The way that they both care for each other and listen to their problems to try to help resolve them shatters my heart into tiny little pieces

I love Robin so much, but the amount of patience Pat has with him in the improvisation game was on godly levels

‘The brightest one in the sky’ ‘That international space station’ there was absolutely no need for Robin to serve that hard

[gingerjunhan]

boyfriend headcannons - lee jooyeon

☆彡 the long awaited end of this sweet little series is finally here!! I hope you all enjoyed! :) 🩷

word count: 633 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: swearing, all caps, not proofread, lmk if something is missing!

← previous member

it’s time for our sillies little boyfie

omg okay where do I begin

he holds your hand all the time

out in public, in bed while cuddling, under the dinner table like you’re in middle school-

he wants you close at all times

he loves you so so so sooooo much

I am the queen of the Jooyeon clingy boyfriend agenda

he LOVES PDA

okay- in reality he love what you’re comfortable with- but still

he loves being able to show you off!

you’re his! he’s dating you! he can’t believe it!!!

once he gets comfortable the pet names are… oh boy

the type of cringe you would expect from Gunil tbh

“baby”

“bubs”

“SWEET PEA” 🥹

“pookie”

“pumpkin” on rare occasions

he likes to have fun with them

you would probably make most of your plans bc have you seen the way this man uses bubble?

he will not answer your damn phone calls!

(but he means well I swear)

the selfies you get from this man are either killer or hilarious

it’s like,, a Seungmin level fit check or a .5 image where it looks like he’s looking both directions at once 💀

but it’s okay bc you love him for it obvi 🫶🏻

speaking of loving him, Jooyeon strikes me as another member of xh that your younger siblings or cousins would love

NAHH YOU KNOW WHO WOULD LOVE HIM??

YOUR GRANDMA!!!!

children find him funny and old people find him charming and endearing

they would totally say you’re dating a prince lol

please play with his hair

I feel like he would love it

he lowkey loves it when you baby him?

like, eat the vegetables off of his plate and tell him how cute he is and he’ll eat that shit up

he is constantly singing

he makes songs up about what he does during the day

he’ll randomly hit you with the, “earlier today I was 🎶washing the dishes🎶 and I almost broke a plate.”

I feel like one of his go-to gifts would be plushies?

it’s your birthday? plushie

valentine’s day? here’s a little guy

and he forces you to name them all

sometimes he comes up with the names before he even gives them to you

“Here you go!” *hands you a plushie* “This is Bart.”

he is so amazed by you all the time

he truly idolizes you and the way you carry yourself and treat people

you aren’t afraid to be a little weird or different and he would love it!!

he would write songs for you :(

he would write songs about you :,(

I think it would be sooooo easy to fluster him

“You look very pretty today Jooyeon.” he’s red as can be

but don’t worry because he can dish it out just as well as he can take it

hot take: I bet Jooyeon secretly has rizz

it doesn’t happen often, but every now and then he hits you with a really good one-liner that honestly leaves you at a loss for words

he loves cuddle sessions :( my sweet, clingy boy

very excitable!

you could suggest watching paint dry as a date idea and he would be vibrating with excitement

loves loves loooves when you wear his clothes ESPECIALLY out in public!

it’s like your little way of showing people you’re taken

he would melt of you ever referred to him as, “my boyfriend” to someone in public like-

‼️ that’s him ‼️

he’s a ball of sunshine when he’s around you, but he also knows when to dial it back and be more serious as well

the duality to this man comes into play with more than just his stage presence!

overall, Jooyeon never stops smiling when he’s with you because he constantly has something to be thankful for 🩷

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

[jamesunderwater]

1. Tell us why you like James Potter! I want a whole essay please and thank you!

"Why I Love Like James Potter" by jamesunderwater 1/27/24 

So, I think an important context for my feelings about James Potter is that (as you know) I am a fandom elder. Which means, I already had an extreme attachment to James Potter and his pals before we ever even got the Snape’s Worst Memory chapter. I just looked it up, and somehow I was only ten when OotP came out, so evidently I was massively in love with Sirius Black and obsessed with the Marauders before I hit double digits. (Jesus, no wonder they’re molded with my identity.) The point being – before he was anything else to me, James Potter was the man who bravely sacrificed himself for his family, whose core feature was defined by Sirius’s declaration that they “would have died rather than betray their friends.” He was the guy who figured out how to become an animagus just to be a supportive friend, and based on the few lines that the Marauders have through the Map in PoA, he was hilarious. And really, the fandom kinda just took that and ran with it. So by the time OotP came out and we got so much more information on him – and his dynamic with Lily (cue me sighing dreamily here) – James Potter was already a venerated figure in my mind. -- OMG I just had a buried memory pop up of the Harry Potter Trading Cards as well, which, I don’t think I had one / there was one for James, but there was one for Lily, where she was holding toadspawn?? Or something? and I was in love with her just based on her cute face and red hair and bright eyes, so obviously I’m gonna also be infatuated with the guy who got to marry her.

Okay I got a bit off the point. 

I guess reflecting on it, the way I fell in love with James as a character was very different than how I did for Sirius, and it’s in part due to Sirius being alive in the books, but also speaks to who James is, too. I fell in love with Sirius for who Sirius is, all by himself. I fell in love with James for who he is with other people. I loved the guy who would do anything for his friends. I loved the guy who had this magnetic dynamic with the fiery redhead. I loved the guy who was brilliant and loved by all, and didn’t think twice about sacrificing himself for his family. And I think that this has, for the most part, remained the core of why I love him. 

But of course, I’ve grown up a lot since then, and so have my feelings and opinions. 

– intermission to say I looked back at the ask and realized it only asks about why I like the character, which…somehow changes some of my answer, but we’re gonna try to roll them together – 

Okay, so why I both like and love James as a character now has a lot more to do with the nuances of him. I love that he isn’t perfect. He’s multi-dimensional, and I think his character is a great opportunity to investigate growing up. I think that progression is harder to see in some of the other characters (I have thoughts on why but they aren’t the point right now), but James is just this splendid example of how someone can be so fundamentally good, and also be a fucking kid. He’s messy and that doesn’t make him any less of a “hero” or a “good guy,” but not in your traditional anti-hero or villain arc kind of way. I dunno, maybe it’s in part because I relate to this feeling of not always being a “good person” growing up. I could be arrogant, and mean, and over-dramatic, and stubborn, but people still saw me as a good, likable person, and eventually I did grow out of a lot of the harsher aspects of those characteristics. I love that James gives permission for that, to inspect the dualities within people. 

And on a basic level, I think he was kind of the picture of everything I wanted to have and be. His physical looks / physique is what I’ve been drawn to in men, and eventually realized it’s what I wanted to look like myself; he has this found family that he’s built that is truly a family, this best friend who accepts him fully and he accepts fully and they’re attached at the hip; he becomes a person deserving of and complementary to a strong, independent, kind woman; and his kid is Harry Potter, who truly is one of my favorite characters of all time. So. 

I dunno, I feel like this isn’t as eloquent as I wanted it to be… I’d be very curious to hear other people’s thoughts added onto this (yours and others’!) because I know there’s so much more that I’m missing that other people would say. 

I got to nearly 850 words, though, so hopefully this essay is sufficient enough to earn me a B, at least.

[Submitting for Extra Credit: Photo of the frogspawn card from the Harry Potter Trading Card Game]

[kyouka-supremacy]

hii again!! thank you for answering my asks hehe 😊🤭

Going off from your response (about the bsd ladies ✨), I have some random questions for you 💗

Who is your favourite bsd *female* character?

Who is one female character you'd want to rewrite?

And who is the female character you see the most wasted potential in?

No pressure btw!

Omg hi thank you so much for this ask I love sharing opinions almost as much as I love talking about women 💞💞💞

Favourite bsd *female* character?

All of them LMAO. But Kyouka holds a special place in my heart <3 I mean, I think she's quite objectively the best written female character in this series, if anything because she gets an actual character arc beyond the two occasional chapters of spotlight. I really like the inherent duality of her character in being both a skilled assassin and a little girl (and how it can be both tragic and hilarious! The versatility). Her character arc is sincerely compelling, I'm a sucker for any character who's just doing their very best to be a good person even when it feels like going against their nature. Her backstory is so tragic! Her relationship with her ability is so interesting! But I just love how truly… Strong-willed she is, how determined and resolute she can be; she's truly inspiring. If you ask me, she's got that charm of magical girls anime: sometimes you really need to see little girls defeat unimaginable evils with the power of love to heal your heart. And the fact that she doesn't really fit the trope of happy-go-lucky girl is all the more capturing!! Again, I really love the interior conflict - or coexistence - between her dark, ruthless side, and the side that likes bunnies and crepes and girly things; it makes her so authentically and unmistakably Kyouka. I appreciate how she's the only character who can sort of keep up with the protagonist role to ss/kk and s/kk, and she's only 14 eheh. And I LOVE her interactions with the other characters, so much!!!! I adore her relationship with Atsushi (truly. Not even remotely close to how much I talk about them), and I feel like they truly deserve each other in a lot of ways. The way Kyouka's sharp attitude and blunt personality fit and mitigate Atsushi's eternal indecisiveness and insecurity and the way Atsushi reminds Kyouka every day that she can do good and that she is good. How they saved each other and how they keep saving each other every day. I've said it a lot of times that Atsushi is profoundly selfish and that all good actions he does are to be traced back to some twisted conception of self-survival, but if there's really anyone Atsushi loves selflessly and unconditionally, that has to be Kyouka. If there is such a thing as platonic soulmates, Kyouka and Atsushi definitely are for me; they're just so siblings in a way I can't even put in words. AND AND AND her relationship with Akutagawa I've talked about endlessly before!!! Her relationship with Dazai!!! KOUYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kyouka and Kouyou chapter my beloved aka the only bsd chapter to pass the Bechdel test). Omg potentially Yosano!!!!! Kenji Kenji Kenji!!!!!!!!! I just. Love Kyouka a lot okay she gets me emotional. Kyouka supremacy forever. (Also, she's dubbed by beloved tpn Emma va Sumire Morohoshi :') )

*Catches breath*

One female character you'd want to rewrite?

Ah, as of now, definitely Teruko. Here's the story I imagine her having: she fought the Great War by Fukuchi's side, as her second in command; despite what her appearance may have looked like back then, she's about the same age as him. She doesn't love or worship him, but she surely admires him a lot; they were comrades and she learnt from him a lot of her ideals on how soldierse have to stain their hands and do horrible, ruthless things in order for the majority of citizens to live safe and happy. She learnt to adore the cause because of him, and she's very loyal to her uniform. She started dressing as a young girl after the war ended, as a way to negate the cruel and traumatic experience of war in her mind and withdraw to the unknowing, happy times of childhood (while still staying her and self-aware; it's just an ephemeral relief). The rest of the story proceeds pretty much as it is in canon, but when Fukuchi reveals to her that he's actually a terrorist working with the doa, she doesn't side with him. She actually feels throughout betrayed, because he had been this pillar of justice and integrity for her, and knowing he was actually a terrorist left her shell-shocked. She DOES act like she's following him, because she is smart and experienced and she knows that she can't take him on her own (differently from Tachihara and Jouno who faced him alone with no backup. Lol. They're a little stupid.), and waits for the moment he lets his guard down to strike and impale him. AND NOT BECAUSE HE ASKED HER TO. WHICH IS HONESTLY TERRIBLE UNDER EVERY ASPECT. Insert here a flashback with her backstory and how Fukuchi himself taught her that justice comes before anything else, because it's the prime tool to serve citizens and pursue world peace. Interior turmoil and trauma for killing the person she respects the most ensues. Now that's how I would write Teruko, because I care about her.

Female character you see the most wasted potential in?

Probably Naomi!!! I love how sly and ingenious she is even in spite of not having an ability, I really hope we'll get to see more of her. I like the theory of her being a projection of Jun'ichirou's ability, although I acknowledge it's problematic in the way it takes away even more agency from her character; even then, it would be cool if she took the form of some kind of sentient ability like Gab in 55 Minutes, or if Jun'ichirou himself was a projection of Naomi (eh. a girl can dream). I really like @frankenjoly's headcanon that she and Mori would be besties, I think about it a lot ahah, I can really see it.

ALSO Higuchi and her ability C'MON I know it's there!!! It MUST be there because bsd so far has been following a very strict pattern where all characters named after writers have abilities, while non ability users are named after novels' characters or non-writers irl people (not to talk about Sakunosuke Oda's The Literature of Possibility passage that's mentioned at the start of the Dark Era novel, with the novel creating a DIRECT connection between writers irl and ability users in the bsd world). I really really hope after this arc is over we'll get an Higuchi arc!!!!

That said, pretty all characters I feel have wasted potential pffttt. Give Lucy and Yosano more screentime!! BRING KOUYOU BACK!!!!!! Finally elaborate on Agatha who's the only female organization leader!!!!! Gin!!!!!!! Wells!!!!!!!!!!

[its-no-biggie]

fuck it. rvb soul eater au

context on soul eater for those who havent seen it: some people can turn into a weapon. they get paired off with meisters (ppl who wield the weapons) based on soul compatibility. if two people are incompatible or out of sync, theyre unable to fight together - their bodies will physically reject it and they can even get injured by trying. so weapon/meister duos are always very deep and trusting (and often ambiguously romantic) relationships. and then they fight monsters or whatever the rest isnt important

im starting with blood gulch, as usual. although..... freelancer has interesting implications...... okay but reds and blues first

grif and simmons - grif is the weapon (maybe a rocket launcher?) because you know his ass is not running around fighting. this works great with simmons' need for control. 10/10 no notes

church and tucker - i think church would naturally be the weapon here but im thinking about how this applies to tucker and wash down the line..... i kinda had it in my head that the freelancers would be meisters and the ais their weapons, which would make weapon!tucker pair well with meister!wash after church dies, but if i disregard that. weapon!wash could be really really interesting.... i dont really have a plot in mind so i also dont know how epsilon fits into this but hes also here. idk ill think about it. anyway obvious weapon choices for this duo would be a sword or a sniper rifle. (i do think its really funny to make tucker the sniper rifle that church cant aim for shit. oh you wanted the sniper rifle so bad? now you are one and your meister gets no kills with it <3)

sarge and lopez - this one has hilarious implications. is lopez still a robot? is he just a regular ass shotgun that sarge built and insists on using instead of pairing with a person? is he a robot that can turn into a weapon? does he still speak spanish? if he is a robot, does he have a soul???? do he and sarge resonate the way weapon/meister duos usually do???? honestly this is hilarious no matter what, but im leaning toward hes a humanoid robot that can turn into a shotgun. sarge built him and lopez hates him for it but he was programmed to be compatible so they resonate just fine. dont think about the implications of a robot having a soul okay shhhhh its fine

if robots are on the table then you know we gotta do caboose and sheila - is sheila also a robot? i think it works either way. shes definitely the weapon though - something with a lot of firepower. truly i think shes the only one who can balance out caboose in a combat setting and even then they still get church killed. incredible

donut and doc - this one is interesting with doc being canonically a pacifist. maybe hes still primarily a medic but he keeps a weapon on him just in case? and then omalley makes good use of it >:D donuts really just along for the ride. i dont have specific weapon ideas - i know doc tends to favour the rocket launcher and donut is good with grenades, but also. insert joke about crossing swords. anyway no matter what weapon he is, donuts weapon form is pink

(also i want you guys to know that i almost did pastrytrain as a duo and left doc out for the crimes of being a pacifist. i still think it could work, but donut and caboose dont really interact that much compared to caboose and sheila, and also i wanted to keep the teams separate. you understand)

tex and kai - honestly this is a GREAT duo imo. i know the only time they interact in canon is some catty bullshit but its not their fault they were written by misogynists, and honestly they have some really good black star/tsubaki duality going for them. i think tex would be the meister, and kai would be maybe a melee weapon? oooh could do both of the grif siblings as knives..... knife simmons...... anyway tex and kai really good duo. easily the best out of all the blood gulch crew

and then the freelancers would be...... actually remarkably similar to how the freelancer/ai relationships work in canon! although if you swap around whos weapon and meister (as opposed to the ais all being weapons) you could certainly shake things up. also kind of interesting bc theres a lot of partner swapping in freelancer, which doesnt seem to happen much in soul eater. a testament to the poor conditions at pfl perhaps......

anyway i dont really have ideas for a full-fledged au, but its certainly fun to play with - the soul eater designs are already fun and then bringing in the rvb colour coding...... giving them fun dramatic weapon designs...... plus the whole soul resonance thing adds a layer to the relationships that i think would make for some delicious character interactions. force these mfs to communicate with each other lmfao

[zayray030]

🐝 anon here

So i love riddle and ace being half brothers aus it gives me joy lmao

This finally has no angst bc I just wanted something silly lol

So like ace and riddle knew about one another but were never able to meet so once all the shit during book one settle they become really close. And for a while everything is great. Riddle has always wanted a younger brother and ace is great at expanding riddle’s worldview. So it’s great but then riddle notices a little shift in ace, nothing bad he’s still the same but he seems a little happier, he’s smiling more and humming more (side note I loooooove that ace hums when happy 🥹). Riddle is pretty dense and it takes cater telling riddle that ace probably likes someone for everything to click. Riddle is more than happy for ace until he notices who is coming around the dorm more: Floyd

Riddle is ✨stressing✨

Floyd is loud wild and unpredictable and riddle is sure he’s gonna lead his baby brother down bad choices. But also, riddle knows ace has a mischievous and rebel streak of his own and those two together???

Riddle is having heart burn he’s aged like 10 yrs and his back is always hurting when he thinks of those 2 lmao

(He eventually comes around to it and adjusts, that is until he sees the way Ruggie has been looking at ace lmaoooo)

Lmao it's so funny to me that I'm getting a ridoace brothers ask when I just wrote the FILTHIEST smut about them 🤣 😂 the duality is crazy

But I can imagine Ace .iljinh his little brother status and mentioning how Riddle tried to kill him multiple times so he can get away things. It irritates the dorm but if they speak on it they get collared.

Personally, I think it would be hilarious that by the end of the year when Riddles parents come to pick him he's this shrivelled old man whilst when Ace's pick him up he looks so pretty and youthful lmao

I can only imagine poor Riddle trying to convince Ace to date one of the first years instead of the second/third years

Like he'll vent to Trey and Cater whilst the two are plotting on ways to get a date with Ace lmao

[callmearcturus]

Omg you like transistor? What are your thoughts about it? I got it on sale after getting Hades and it was a lovely experience! Which btw, have you played hades 👀 it seems like something up your alley

Oh boy howdy

Transistor feels like a game that was built specifically to doxx me. Let's just.... enumerate it.

The setting is a gorgeous collision of art nouveau and cyberpunk, like you jacked Alphonse Mucha into the Matrix and told him to go wild.

It is not Darren Korb's best work, I understand that Hades is his best. However, it's my favorite OST and I personally think the lyrical work in Transistor surpasses Hades and Bastion easily. All the vocal tracks are honestly fucking incredible.

The locomotion of Red. I have talked about how my favorite type of weapon is Big Heavy Hammer. I love the weight of it, how much effort it takes to swing around. Red and the Transistor has that exact same feeling. When she swings that fucking thing, you feel the effort, the impact. It feels real to have her struggle with it.

I fucking love Red. I love the duality of the woman who lost her voice and the sword who talks. Also it could have fallen so easily into a trap of making the girl silent and thus removing her agency. But she sings through the OST, her songs are all showstopping moments in the game, and when she uses the terminals to speak, she's so fucking powerful and stunning.

I'm going to find the thing doing this and I'm going to break its heart. NOBODY OUT HERE IS DOIN IT LIKE FUCKING SUPERGIANT. NO ONE!

Also Sword Boyfriend is the best romance in video games.

First, the writing. The way this game writes Sword Boyfriend as so fucking doting and pining and wry and funny and always so fucking head over heels in love with Red, always. The concern, the humor, the way he knows her usual orders. There is so much intimacy between them. Also when he gets underclocked/drunk, it's SO HILARIOUS AND SWEET. The drunken rambling about how she's his star and he loves her and it's true, it's true!

Logan fucking Cunningham. He always kills it but he fucking KILLED this one. It's a miraculous performance. He sells every moment. The dude is so fucking talented, it's sick.

The running jokes about the Cloudbank and how dumb it is to leave everything up to popular vote, it's really funny sometimes.

That fucking ending. That was made for me, baby. The final moment, the way she gets comfortable against him. It's perfection.

I'M GOING TO FIND THE THING DOING THIS AND I'M GOING TO BREAK ITS HEART.

i love transistor. i understand logically that hades is a better game in every way (and so is pyre, likely) but i'm a slut and transistor was made for me.

(oh i forgot you asked-- yes i've played hades! not to final credits/true ending tho)