#I just want to make it clear that I literally never said that brad being given depth would be a bad thing

[whoreforlarrystuff]

Let me start with saying that am a larrie.. this year the concept of them together seems for fetched and feels like people are trying really hard in proving and linking HL when in reality nothing has indicated that being true.. blue green outfits mean literally nothing at this point.. i sometimes feel like they do that to fuel the hl drama and they know that they just need to combine 2 colours and larries run with it. It is like they are gaining more by doing less.. see even how pleasing is kind of using it to market. They know that even to criticize larries share their product in which harry is involved with his own interest .. I never understood why with the years worth of content others call larries delusional but these days I feel like may be it is true.. we are very quick to say that any women h is seen with as stunt.. men he is seen with are just friends or team members. You don't bring a personal trainer to every show and even if you are crazy to be in shape because now h has got world attention at more higher level or because he wants be fit enough to perform at that level but you don't keep them in the vip area or bring them to grammy or sing to them or bring them for lunch with family & friends, look for them during performance unlike how you treat your rest of the crew.. I know some are just not trying to see the point and brush it off saying he is his worker who at this point might've become his friend because of the time they spend together... and then L is running with a different group if people altogether and trying to steer clear of anything that is harry. Please don't say that it is more the reason of them being together. Nothing has stopped him doing that before... The fond look louis used to have when harry was brought up in interviews is no longer there and now it's more like let's this question related to him over.. sorry, this is long.. but H who never curses on stage atleast in the mic however his fuck you in coachella was very personal and targeted(to louis i felt) after which I've seen the shift.. cause before that louis had worn Maison shirt, white purple checked shirt, you are home page had put coordinates pointing to louis.. But after coachella it has been different(louis blocking hld which is like the famous larry account out there which i dont think he blocked because of announcement that was in the open area).. at this point I feel like HL are also using larries.. H is kind of someone who wants all parts of his fandom happy.. remember when the songs were leaked how targeted they were. Already home to larries, him/trouble to haylors, complicated freak or baby honey to harries?? So yea at this point HL being together is more like a concept which they and their team are using to make money. May be they also does not want to reminded of eachother just like in case of any exes.. but them being in this profession and having a relentless fanbase who are hell bent on proving them being together they just don't wanna add any fuel anymore.. I know it's not your responsibility to convince me or others and one can keep believing what feels right..

Hi Love!

I feel like every time we get a new stunt, I see lots of people being like “oh, maybe this time it’s real” etc.

In regards to Brad being at the show. While I fully agree that H doesn’t *need* his personal trainer with him, some people like to work out with others / have a better work out when working out with others. I’ve said before I don’t totally know what Brads role is for H- sometimes it seems like he’s security in a way? It’s also possible they’re friends, and you would want your friends at shows? The Brad situation is one that I honestly feel like people pay too much attention to, and it’s made it more of a thing than it ever was.

I think at this point, the Blue/Greening isn’t so much of a signal/way of telling us something as it is a “we know you know we know” kinda thing? I agree that Pleasing seems to Larrie Bait a bit- especially with the smiley face on the nails.

Couples are allowed to have different friends- and Louis is very clearly close with his tour group, and from everything he has said/done, they’re like a family to him.

I think if they were truly exs, we wouldn’t get the bluegreening, we wouldn’t get pleasing posting Larry related things etc.

I’ve often found that H & L will do something, and we won’t discover the true extent of why until much later.

I’m not sure I’ve hit all of the points in your ask, but I’m about to leave for work, so I wanted to at least answer some of them!

[grendelsmilf]

have you seen the new mq ep? i'm so mad that they're trying to give brad depth... let him be cartoonishly evil! also hoping for dana's corruption arc. more yelling at poppy for her <3

I mean I think it’s great that they’re letting danny pudi broaden his range more, bc he’s an incredible actor who can convey more with his eyes than many actors can convey in a whole movie. and brad is clearly a very broken person. even poppy can recognize this, and she’s... well... poppy. like, brad being cartoonishly evil was very fun for him, especially because they made the brilliant decision of casting someone so charming you can’t help but root for him even though he’s a complete and utter asshole. but brad is now getting the same backstory ian got at the end of the first season when it was revealed that his father was abusive and he then abandoned his own son out of the fear of perpetuating that cycle of paternal estrangement (thus perpetuating the cycle nonetheless). he’s sympathetic now without being any less of an asshole. he’s evil enough to put profit before merit, but not evil enough to slaughter his pet (sidenote: was brad raised xtian or did his father just make him slaughter a pig as a test even tho they weren’t gonna eat it... either way, explains a lot ngl). jo, on the other hand, was established very early on as being completely remorseless, seeing as she takes pleasure in driving children to suicide, so I think this will be a good payoff to that setup, however that arc may end. but yeah, I think it’s a good thing that they’re giving brad depth, because if they cast danny pudi in the first place, it’s because they know not to waste his talent.

as for dana, I love that they’re showing that there’s a limit to how much she can actually put up with. because she’s such an angel, and so accommodating, but she’s not a doormat either. and the contrast between her and rachel, and how race plays such a (previously) unspoken role in their dynamic, which they’re establishing now is so good. I loved when poppy was like “I’m a woman of color so it’s fine” god that was good. i love how many pee oh cee on this show get to be assholes but not necessarily in a white way (whereas jo and david are assholes in an especially white way lmfao). the gag is that if rachel were being mentored by poppy and dana was being mentored by ian, both pairs would get along so much better. ian has a way of comforting people and making them feel good about themselves even when he’s blatantly exploiting them, whereas poppy and rachel are both in their comfort zone when being argumentative and confrontational, so they would probably build off of each other’s ideas really well. unfortunately, poppy is the one who knows how to code, and ian is the one who can actually grant rachel access to resources, so they’re stuck with each other. lmao

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[pleasereadmeok]

This ‘Wonderland’ Interview to promote A Single Man is a gem.  Matthew Goode is a bit of a handful and swears his way through this interview with his mate Nic Hoult.  It’s very funny.  It’s often quoted (including his description of Colin Firth’s kissing technique!) but it’s difficult to find a clean scan of the whole interview.  This scan (from Natalie/ Fairchilds on ohnotheydidnt) isn’t very clear to read so I did a transcript several years ago - here:-

Wonderland Interview

Based on the 1964 novel by Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man marks the screenwriting and directing debut of fashion icon, Tom Ford.  Having debuted earlier this year at the Venice Film Festival to a standing ovation, the film has continued to impress audiences during screening at the Toronto and London Film Festivals.

Joining lead actor, Colin Firth, on screen are fellow Brits Matthew Goode and Nicholas Hoult who discuss the film, Tom Ford and being British in LA.

ON A SINGLE MAN

Nicholas Hoult: The only time I saw Matthew was when we were getting our spray tans.

Matthew Goode: Which were more regular than we were expecting.  I got on a plane with Colin [Firth] and then literally the moment we arrived, got in the car together, went to the hotel and suddenly – it’s like ten thirty at night – we have to go to Colin’s room where we’re having our spray tans .  Colin Firth is in his pants, I’m in my pants and it stays that way for an hour whilst we wait for this stuff to set.  He’s fucking great.  I love Colin.

We [Nic’ and he] never had a scene together but we were there the whole time.  I was only really fitting in around these guys.  Nic had a damn sight more to do than I did.

NH: No I just did more.

MG: [Laughs] It was a really fun shoot. I mean, maybe I’m looking back with rose tinted spectacles, but …

NH: It was a good fun shoot. Everyone enjoyed it.  I remember the night in Venice after seeing it in front of all those people and just lying in bed thinking ‘that’s something I’m proud of’.

MG: It’s seriously impressive. You watch it and you care and, it doesn’t happen to me a lot, but I watched it and thought ‘I’m in something that doesn’t stink!’.  I’m proud of that.

NH:  That’s a nice feeling when you’ve done something and you can say ‘yeah, proud of that’.

MG:  Fucking hell – sorry to interrupt – but I was reading a magazine or a paper or something the other day and it said “A Single Man obviously being screened and whenever Nic Hoult was on screen there were gasps over his beauty” [laughs]. And I was thinking, fucking Hoult is going to LA and get so laid! [Laughs]. He is going to be turning bush away left right and centre!

NH:  It’s all down to the fake tan again.  That’s where the performance stems for me.

MG:  That is a review!

NH:  Nothing about the acting, right?

MG:  They didn’t review the film.  It just said “I saw it.  I’m going to be reviewing it at some point, but let me tell you there were gasps over Nick Hoult’s beauty!”

ON TOM FORD

MG:  Tom is immediately interesting. If it’s all about someone’s cannon of work then most of the time you wouldn’t work with a first ime director, but if the script is good and you have a chat with them and they know which end is up and which is down, then great.

NH: I didn’t know who Tom was when I met him.

MG: Nick “fashion forward” Hoult!

NH:  I’d gone over to LA got off a plane and had dinner with him.  And I asked him how he’d got into directing and why he was doing this!

MG:  I love that.  Isn’t that great?  And that’s also like Tom.  He’s not the sort of person who is like, ‘well fuck you!’.

NH: He explained very humbly what he had done and I thought OK.  And then I looked him up after dinner and was ‘oh jesus!  He’s actually accomplished quite a lot’ so probably quite a stupid question, but he was very honest and modest and made a great director.

MG: It’s so good.  And so good for Colin.  And Julianne [Moore] is bloody great in it as well.  But the real star of it, it has to be said, is Tom. It silences immediately the people who were going ‘you self indulgent cunt.’  It’s like two massive fingers up to them as it is very, very accomplished.

NH:  It’s very personal to him as well.

MG:  Hugely personal as the main story sort of mirror images the relationship between him and Richard.  There’s a similar age gap.

NH:  He would always say my character is him when he was 18.  He’s connected to every character and he knows them.

MG:  And he wrote the screenplay and it’s starkly different from the book.

NH:  Matthew’s read the book, so –

MG:  That’s right!  I have. It is different.  I am always about the script, really.  But one of the really nice things about being involved is that it is a love poem to Tom’s partner, Richard.

NH:  Tom is very good in the sense that he is an actor’s director and knows what he wants you to do but is very giving to let you go off and explore things and try stuff out.  And you don’t feel too much pressure of failure.

MG:  That’s very true.

NH: ‘Cause the second you’re on set – especially when there’s only 20 days to shoot – to not feel the pressure, that’s a good atmosphere he created.  Something his assistant was saying the other day was that he’s very good at holding his hands up and would admit when he wasn’t sure what he was doing and kept everyone on side and made it a really great team effort.

MG:   I love it when someone’s like that.  It’s so far away from self indulgent as well when someone’s shooting into the 19th hour of the day and the ship isn’t sinking, but there’s a leak and it’s far better to say we do have a leak and I’m trying to sort it out rather than leaning on one side and saying everything is fine.  He is fucking great.

ON COLIN FIRTH

MG:  Colin was great.  I knew he was going to be good.  The moment I read the script, I was like, ‘this is something you haven’t done in a long time’ – just something he could really get his teeth into.   He’s such a subtle actor and it’s been a long time since I can remember him having something that central and serious.

NH:  It was a great moment when we went to the Venice Film Festival and got the message Colin was winning the best actor award.

MG:  I know.  The previous evening we had sat there and we knew it had gone down well because there was a NINE minute standing ovation.  And particularly when you’re not in the film as much as I am, then I feel like a fucking charlatan.  I stood there and am looking down and smiling and embarrassed.  Colin’s quite emotional and I tell you what – four minutes of a standing ovation gets a bit uncomfortable, but NINE?  ‘OK, Colin… fucking move. Let’s go. Let’s leave.’ And he couldn’t tell us that he had won and so he was being shy about it.

NH:  Yeah, he kept it very quiet.

MG:  The moment we found out and we were on the boat we were like ‘What the fuck?  You’ve won and you didn’t tell us!?  And he was like ‘ I know, I didn’t wanna.’  He was humble.

NH:  It was great.  It was a bit of an odd first day like you had in the sense that I had to strip off in front of Colin on my first day.  It sounds a bit seedy when I say ‘strip off in front of him’.

MG:  It does!

NH:  It’s part of the film, I swear!  And it’s handled a lot more tastefully that that might seem, but yeah it was a bit of an odd first day.

MG:  Everyone is going to say ‘oh it’s a gay movie’ which we then counteract with ‘no it’s not, it’s a film about love.’  But there is nudity and a bit of man kissing.  Frankly Colin kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row, but it was a real pleasure!

NH:  He’s got a lot of love!

ON JULIANNE MOORE

MG:  She’s a fucking hero.  She’s lovely. I didn’t have any scenes with her. I mean I’m only in flashback, so all my stuff was with Colin.

NH:  All my stuff is with Colin as well.   The first time I met Julianne was in Venice.

MG:  Yeah, she was probably in the middle of juggling six projects or something, you know, she never stops working.  She came in and shot two scenes, which were about 20 odd minutes of the film, and they did that in two evenings so she was in and out.  I never got a chance to meet her until I was at some party in LA and she is just fantastic.  And she’s married to a guy called Bart Freadlich who is a director in his own right.

NH:  He’s a hero.

MG:  He is actually fabulous!  My girlfriend spent the whole evening calling him Bert instead of Bart and he was like ‘you know, actually I prefer Bert!  Don’t worry about it’.  He’s lovely. They could throw their weight around, but they are actually family people and live in New York – they’re kind of anti Hollywood.

ON THE LIFE OF AN ACTOR

MG: There are a lot of Brits and Aussies at the moment who are working.  I don’t know what that means.  But we never think of ourselves.  When you get off the plane and you’re in America they ask ‘what’s the best thing about being a movie star?’ I am a jobbing actor, they have no idea! They make it sound like I get 500 scripts and am sitting there going through them all. If something comes up and they are stupid enough to give it to us or you love the script and audition but someone of a huge stature can come in and take it like Brad Pitt. Or Judi [Dench] – we’ve been up against each other a couple of times.

NH: I’ve never lost out to Judi yet.

MG: Only in a drinking contest! The vicious alcoholic that she is!

NH: Sam Worthington was telling me when he was in LA someone asked him why there were so many Aussies over there doing so well and his response was that it’s an awful long way to go to fail and not give it your best shot, basically.

MG: Oh. I was expecting some sort of knob gag in there, but yeah.

NH: It’s very true. I just got back from LA and every TV series has an English guy in the lead. Joseph Fiennes, Matthew Reece [RHYS]

MG: We’re good. We’re quite good…

N H: I can’t say it’s the training, because I don’t have any.

MG: You’re doing well! You make people gasp! You complete cunt. I hate that!

NH: You’re coming across very eloquent.

MG: That’s very nice of you.  OK, who used to live with Ewan McGregor and Jude Law and he has a TV show? You’re right about that. Though it makes it sound like ‘Oh you’re English.  Have a TV show’.  I’m sure they all have about ten auditions.

NH: I had an interesting day recently when I was at a BBQ and Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey were there.

MG: Wow!

NH: I sat there and was very quiet because I thought if I speak to them I’ll make a fool of myself so it’s best to keep out of the way and then they can’t have any bad thoughts although they probably didn’t know I was there.  But I knew they were there so it was a good BBQ for me.

MG: I’d love to learn guitar. It’s one of those things I’d love to do. Though it’s not like I don’t have the time…

NH: [Laughs]

MG: I’d like to know all the chords.

NH: It’s difficult to get the fingering right… That’s what she said.

MG: And back to Dame Judi!

NH: [Laughs]

MG: It depends if you have a high action or a low action in terms of the strings.  It hurts. You’ve got to build up the calluses. If you get a low action one that would be easier.

NH:  Are we still talking about women?

MG:  Yes! [Laughs] I remember Billy Crudup got the part in Almost Famous and he had lessons with Peter Frampton but had to have lessons on the side because Peter was like ‘you are fucking terrible’. But that’s one of the nice accidents of the job is you can get training in things. And random travel.

NH: I got to do archery.

MG: You did! That was The Weatherman!

NH: No, for Clash of the Titans. I didn’t use it once.

MG: Oh yes, it was the daughter in The Weatherman.

NH: Yeah man, keep up.

MG: Sorry mate. That’s how pretty you are. I confused you with the female lead.

NH: He’s seen all my work.

MG: I have! I’ve got to learn how to do it. You are a master.  I did a Spanish film and it was all in Spanish [!] – I learnt it phonetically. Jesus, that’s my only skill.  The major skill I picked up is I can pay my rent. The older you get the more you realize there are a lot of people who hate their jobs.  I’m so glad I’m not – ha!  Famous last words! – it does seem to be going OK for now.  But bringing it back to what do you like about acting – to be honest, everything.

ON BRITISH TALENT

MG:  I think there is an element that we’re just so happy to work.  Certainly as for getting into film it was such an accident because I hadn’t worked in front of a camera.  For a while it was like what is the secret code to working on screen?  I have no idea what it is… but even ten films in I’m still sitting here renting and not owning a house.  I think that keeps you grounded.  As opposed to some American actors who are on a hundred thousand dollars doing some TV.

NH:  You don’t get comfortable so you feel you’ve got to keep on striving.

MG: I think we’re overrated. [Laughs].  There is an element over there if you walk into a room of Americans that they’re suddenly like ‘oh fuck they’re British and we’re steeped in tradition.

NH:  It’s odd that Tom got so many English actors for the film – we’re both playing American.

MG:  And Julianne is playing English.

NH:  it’s good he trusts in us to pull of the American accents.

MG:  Yeah, I mean – idiot!  In fairness you’ve done it before and I have done it a couple of times.  But it is odd.   If you think who he probably could have had –

NH:  He probably could have done better than us!

MG:  I’m sure he could have convinced someone with a much higher stature.  I think it was just we were willing to work for free, effectively.  And that’s also what makes Britain great.  We want to work and we want to please the director and often at times, yes we might have strong thoughts on character and script, but we turn up and are like, this is your vision and you are the director and we know where we fit in. Certainly the Brits, I find, we want to be told what to do or how it’s going to work rather than, ‘I’m the fucking star!’ I tend to find we leave our ego at the door. We tend not to pussyfoot around. We all like a drink. We’re steeped in that tradition as well. There’s a certain forbidden thing in America if you drink you’re an alcoholic. No I’m not, and I generally wait until at least half past one.

NH: On weekends. Weekdays, 11.

MG: There is a reason pubs are opened at 11 and it’s because you are allowed to start drinking at that time. Otherwise, they wouldn’t do it! Christ, can you remember back to when – you might not remember, actually. I gasp at your beauty as I try to remember!

NH:[laughs] I’m never going to live this down!

MG:Do you remember when pubs shut on Sundays at, like, 1 for two or three hours? Maybe I’m showing my age now. That is fucking madness. There would be a riot now.

NH:  So basically, we haven’t found a conclusion to what makes Britain great…  You’re a big X Factor fan though, aren’t you?

MG:  My girlfriend loves it.  She’s got me into it.  I mean it’s fucking hilarious.  You literally sit there and you don’t know any of these people but the music comes up and they get selected and you can be in tears and so happy that these people have been selected for the live shows.  I really like the over 25’s this year.  They’re fucking great.

NH:  Matthew Goode on The X Factor!

MG:  ‘He’s very much into the over 25s and what is funny is they are all male’.  But it is great.  But then it’s such a machine.  There is such a turn around.  Sometimes the winner gets completely forgotten and they have no career and then, obviously, sometimes they go shooting up.  But it is great telly!  Saturday night, a couple of beers and The X Factor.

[Pics - My edit of Ben Rayner photos/scan by Natalie Fairchild.] 

[hes-a-rainbow]

Simply Meant To Be (Part Two)

Author’s note: I just wanted to say a quick thank you for everyone who took the time to read part one and give me feedback! I’m glad so many of you seem to like the story so far. Enjoy!

P.S. I also changed the names of some of Harry’s close friends/co-workers but it’s really not hard to figure out who I'm talking about. I just feel funny writing about people who are not in the limelight.

Part One

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: stress, some description of panic/anxiety attack.

~

“Rue? Rue?!”

“Give her some space!”

“Should I call an ambulance?”

Different voices started to merge together as Rue finally came back to consciousness. She opened her eyes to see Caroline’s bright blue ones staring back at her, “Hey sweetie, think we lost you there for a second.” 

“I--,” Rue tried her best to speak but her throat felt bone dry and her head was pounding. She cleared her throat multiple times but her eyes began to water. “Grab her something to drink!” Caroline shouted over Rue’s shoulder. A soft ‘okay’ from Rory followed by the clattering of heavy boots running into the back room of the store met Rue’s ears. Caroline helped her stand up and she turned to look over Caroline’s shoulders and was met with the unfamiliar faces of two strangers and him. Her soulmate. 

She raised her left hand again to make sure the mark was still there. It was still red and stung like a new tattoo.

H

“Hey, look at me.” Caroline's’ voice snapped Rue out of her reverie. “I know this is a shock, but this is the start of the rest of your life. And I’m so happy for you.” Rue could see water forming in her friends’ eye as she comprehended her words. “Okay,” Rue squeaked out.

“Rue.” A voice from behind Caroline spoke and Rue felt a flash of electricity spread through her whole body. He didn’t say her name as a question, or even a statement, but more so as if he was trying to feel the way it felt on his lips. Rue’s brown eyes met with his radiant green ones and she felt a rush of familiarity rush over her. 

“H…” She whispered. 

“It’s--,” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat as he continued, “It’s Harry.” He took a few steps closer to her, close enough for her to study his face as he studied hers. She found him extremely handsome with his tall, muscular stature and sharp cheekbones. But he also looked so familiar. Like someone she might’ve met in passing. Had they met before? Surely not, because if they had ever come this close before, they would have been marked. 

The bleached blonde man besides Harry cleared his throat and elbowed his friend in the side, nodding his head towards Rue. Realization came over Harry and he shook his head a bit to clear it, causing the brown curls on his head to flop about, “Right, sorry,” He held his right hand out towards Rue, “It’s so nice to finally meet you...Rue.” The slight change in the tilt of Harry’s voice sparked Rue with realization, “You’re British?” Harry smirked a bit at her reaction, causing a dimple to form on his cheek, “Uh, yeah.” 

She reached out for his hand robotically. When their hands finally clasped together, she felt her heart skip a beat, just like the books had said. Maybe not skip a beat per say but more the feeling of getting sucker punched right in the chest. Both Harry and Rue released gasps of air at the same time. The two soulmates stared at each other, in the middle of the music store in between the guitars that aligned the wall behind Rue and the rows of sheet music that stood behind Harry, hands still moving slightly as if to mimic shaking.

God knows how long they both stood there with dumbstruck smiles on their faces. She thought about this moment for years, she had asked Caroline nearly a thousand times to repeat the story of how she met Talia. Rue imagined a million times over exactly how she would feel in this moment. She expected pure joy, tears of happiness, a kiss from the person who was literally made specifically for her. But in reality she only felt lost, confused, and even a bit scared. What if the person she made up in her head was nothing like this man, this Harry? What if he was rude to her or didn’t think she was attractive or--

Stop being ridiculous, Her conscious spat back, He will love everything about you, just as you will with him. You are two halves to one soul. You are simply meant to be.

But the lingering fear still twisted in her stomach and she was happy she hadn’t eaten since lunch because she was sure if she ate dinner beforehand it would have just been making its reappearance. 

The sharp piercing sound of a phone ringing broke the silence that seemed to be uncomfortable to everyone but the two. Rue’s hand retracted from Harry’s and slid back into the warmth of her winter coat as she remembered exactly where she was and saw the giddy smile adorning Caroline’s face. “It’s John,” the long dark haired lanky man who stood next to Harry announced. Rue saw Harry’s expression turn to fear, then back to neutral before he turned to his friend, “I’ll talk to him later.” He spoke casually but his tone held a deeper meaning. The other man he was with silenced his phone and slipped it back in his pocket. Harry turned to look back at Rue, another smile forming on his lips. 

Caroline cleared her throat besides Rue causing the two soulmates to jump a bit at the interruption, “And I’m Caroline!” She held her hand out to Harry, who took it politely and smiled, “Pleasure to meet you, Caroline. This is Tim,” Harry pointed over his left shoulder at the older blonde man beside him who gave a small wave to the two girls, “And Matt.” Harry threw his thumb over his other shoulder to reference the other brunette man with him. A small “Hi” slipped out of Matt whose eyes continued to dart between Harry and Rue almost as if he was waiting for something. Rue’s eyes narrowed at Matt before turning back to Harry, who was already looking at her. She felt a warmth spread throughout her body and a sense of comfort she had never experienced before.

“I didn’t have any water but I do have some Tito’s left over from the Christmas party last year!” Rory ran back into the room with a half empty glass bottle of vodka raised over his head. His eyes darted towards everyone in the store as he tried to read the room, “Everyone’s good now?” 

“Everyone’s good now.” Caroline replied as she gave him a look as if to say, now be cool. He lowered the vodka bottle and approached the small group standing in the middle of his store. He wrapped his arm around Rue’s shoulder and Rue caught Harry’s expression sour for just a second. “Can’t believe our little kangaroo has finally been matched!” Rory pulled her in for a half assed side hug, “And to Harry Styles’ nonetheless!” Rue’s head snapped to look at Rory, then Caroline, and finally settled on Harry whose whole body seemed to stiffen as he heard his full name.

Rue felt stupid, incredibly dumb even for not placing the face to the name right away. She knew who Harry Styles was, even had a few songs of his on her phone, but never in a million years had she thought she would actually meet him, let alone be his soulmate.

“The singer?” Rue asked Harry but it was Rory who answered, “Yeah! You really didn’t realize?” 

Her Harry just happened to be one of the most famous and sought after people in the entire world. She felt her body becoming warm again, the hairs on the back of her neck rising. She remembered a time back in high school when a group of her friends chatted about what they imagined their soulmates’ would be like. One of her friends had basically described Nick Jonas and was met with thundering laughter. “What? He has to be matched with someone! It definitely wouldn’t be the first time a celebrity matched with someone normal!” The group looked at her as if she had grown two heads, “And isn’t it like everybody’s dream to be matched with a celebrity?” Some of the girls shook their heads no while others agreed but Rue remembered how she spoke up, “I would hate to be matched with someone famous.” Her friends’ rolled their eyes but she only continued, “I’m serious! All I'll ever be known for is belonging to them. No one will ever see me as me again, they will only see me as the girl who is so and so’s soulmate. I couldn’t imagine living in someone’s shadow my entire life.”

“So you’re telling me if you matched up with Brad Pitt, you wouldn’t be happy?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. Of course I would be ecstatic to even be matched, I just always imagined it would be with someone...normal.”

Rue hadn’t thought about that conversation for years now, didn’t even speak with those girls anymore (but knew for a fact her friend was not actually Nick Jonas’ soulmate when he was publicly matched a few years later to another actress) but now it had come back to haunt her. She would never be just Rue again, the girl who had no idea what she was doing in life, who worked as a receptionist at a tiny law firm in lower Manhattan, who wanted to travel the world but in reality had never been on a plane flight longer than six hours, she would only ever be known as Harry Styles’ soulmate.

Her stomach started to flip again and this time it wasn’t out of joy and excitement.

Rue spoke to Harry without making direct eye contact, “I--I’m sorry I didn’t realize--”

“It’s okay,” He responded immediately sensing the nervousness in her tone. He could see her confidence fading away right before his eyes.

“I thought you looked familiar but I never placed--”

“It’s fine. Really.” He gave her what he thought was a comforting smile but she immediately looked down at her old leather boots. She could feel the burning sensation of tears start in the back of her eyes. Please don’t do this, please don’t cry in front of him, she begged herself silently in her head but it only made the waterworks come faster. 

How could this be? She was nothing like him. He probably dined with rockstars while she sat cross legged on her old couch she found on the side of the road while eating day old pasta. She had seen enough about him to know that he went through relationships left and right. Every time he was seen with someone new, the speculation of ‘were they the one?’ running wild in the tabloids. It was the main reason celebrities and people in the spotlight wore rings on their left ring fingers, to hide from the media and news outlets alike if they had met their soulmate or not. This had to have been a mistake, a twist of fade that landed completely off the mark. Surely there had been people matched by accident before, right? 

Nobody moved as Rue struggled with her inner turmoil. 

“Hey, are you--” Harry reached out to touch her arm but she jumped back and out of his reach and away from Rory’s hold. She needed to be alone right now and actually figure out exactly what this meant for her. She started to wrap her scarf back around her neck tightly. Still not meeting anyone’s eyes, she spoke towards the dirty carpet that lined the store, “It was nice meeting you,” She could see Harry move closer to her, as well as Caroline, but she continued to back away and towards the door.

“Rue…” Caroline called for her friend as she saw the slight quiver in her lip that was the tell tale sign her tears were about to fall.

“I’m sorry but I just--I have to go.” Rue turned fast and leaned all her weight on the door. Her face was met with a harsh cold wind that only made her eyes water even more. She moved faster as she heard the door ringing again behind her, indicating that someone had walked out after her. Please don’t let it be him, please don’t let it be him. 

She heard her name being called out by multiple voices, all of which she now knew and could identify, but she only picked up into a slight jog and prayed that the sidewalk wasn’t icy.

“Wait! Please!” She was coming up the end of the street and through her blurry vision she could see the pixelated hand appearing and disappearing ahead of her, indicating only five seconds left until the street light turned green. She was never one to be athletic but she swore she ran as fast as Usain Bolt as she sprinted across the crosswalk. She heard a car honk behind her and a heavy Brooklyn accent scream out, “Fuck off, pretty boy!” but it didn’t slow her down. 

She was only one block away from her apartment now. Her lungs burned as she breathed in the cold air. She had made this walk hundreds of times before and knew how to get back home with her eyes closed, which came in handy because the mixture of her tears and the harsh winter winds caused her to only see blurs and blobs where people stood. Her ears started to ring as she neared her block, she could see the lobby door from here. 

She peaked over her shoulder and didn’t see anyone running behind her but didn’t stall her speed until she rushed into the lobby. The night security guard, Jerry, gave her a weird look as she hauled up the stairs five flights to her apartment. She only stopped for a split second to open her purse and grab her keys, hands shaking as she slipped it into the lock and opened the door. She opened it just enough for her to slide in and quickly slammed it shut, locking and bolting the door because she knew Caroline would show up in a matter of minutes. 

She laid her hands on her knees as she bent over to try to catch her breath. She just needed to be alone and try to gather her thoughts before speaking with Harry again. She just needed a few more minutes of being Rue before she turned into only his.

~

Thank you for reading! Again, feedback is greatly appreciated. Don’t forget to like and share!

[starktonyx]

Inexperienced (Peter Parker x reader)

Word count: 3k

Requested by anon: Teaching inexperienced Peter how to kiss and it escalates quickly.

Note: At first I didn’t know how to write this but I really like the way it turned out, I hope this is what you wanted! Also I hoped this to be short but whenever I write things get out of control so sorry lol. Anyway enjoy!

Masterlist 

Peter had a plan.

Ever since he knew about the science trip, Peter made a plan to confess his feelings for you. And it was perfect really, if things went the way he planned them, except they didn't.

Of course the first step failed when he had ended up sitting next to Mr. Harrington on the flight after Ned had claimed he had a perfume allergy. And of course you ended up sitting next to your ex, Brad Davis.

The Brad Davis. The once scrawny eleven year old boy, now ripped sixteen year old guy had dated you for around a year and half during the blip, since you both were part of the un dusted ones. And Peter wasn't the kind to feel intimidated by enemies, in fact he always ran in the direction of danger, but damn he felt embarrassingly intimidated by the six feet tall guy, thinking himself wouldn't be good enough for you.

Pushing those thoughts away, Peter still wanted to follow his plan and bought you a glass necklace of your favorite flower, which he was planning to give you on top of the Eiffel Tower when he confessed his feelings for you and then hopefully have his first kiss with you.

But fuck, Nick Fury had kidnapped his classmates and taken them to Prague so now he couldn't do that anymore. And not to mention how Brad was trying to get back with you, even though you had broken up almost a year ago.

He had a plan, and it didn't work.

Which brings us to Peter anxiously pacing back and forth in his fancy room, running a hand through his already messy hair every few minutes as he struggled to calm himself down.

"What am I going to do" He mumbled to himself, starting between the little box that contained the necklace and the black suit Fury had gave him on top of the bed.

Peter was about to have an existential crisis, because it doesn't matter how selfish he sounded at the moment, he didn't want to fight some monster in his vacations, he just wanted to be with you. And that was practically impossible, considering he had to confront a the fire elemental that night which meant Brad would try to get close to you.

He was startled when he heard an almost inaudible knock on his door, stopping his pacing to half open the door as to not reveal his suit on the bed, and was surprised when he found you on the other side of the door.

You nervously stood outside Peter's room, you noticed how he had been acting weird and paranoid the whole trip, and you were honestly concerned about his wellbeing. Not to mention, you haven't spent much time together and you were starting to miss him.

"Oh ... hi Y/n" Peter nervously greeted you, trying to act casual by leaning on the side of the  door. "What brings you here?" He curiously asked, as he was genuinely not expecting you out of all people to look for him.

"I ... can I come in?" You slowly asked, preparing yourself to hear the rejection from him, when his eyes widened in what seemed to be ... excitement?

"Yeah s-sure" He immediately agreed, clearing his throat when he realized he sounded way too eager. "Just uhm, wait a second" He said before closing the door.

You were taken aback by the sudden move, unbeknownst to Peter behind the door webbing the suit and quickly hiding it behind the room's closet. He also webbed the box with the necklace and hid it in one of the drawers.

He opened the door again and moved to the side to let you in, and you took a deep breath as you walked inside his room. You awkwardly stood in front of each other after he softly closed the door behind him.

"I just ... I wanted to know if you were okay" You started, not being able to look into his eyes so you decided to look at your fidgeting hands instead. "You seem pretty stressed lately, and I wanted to remind you that I'm here if you need to talk to someone"

Peter was surprised again, never in a million years he would've thought you, his Y/n, would actually care so much about him. But of course you did, you had been in love with the boy ever since he came back from the blip.

Your sweet worried voice managed to calm him down a bit, but he took a deep breath as he couldn't exactly confess to you why he was stressed.

"Well I ... I just got mad because we didn't get to visit the Eiffel Tower" He shrugged his shoulders not exactly lying, as that was one of the reasons he was acting like that.

"Oh" You replied, sighing when you realized he wasn't telling you the whole story.

I mean what were you thinking? That he was going to open up to you just like that? You looked to the floor disappointed, realizing it was a bad idea coming to his room.

"Actually no, that's not the exact reason" He abruptly said when he noticed your sad expression.

Screw his plan.

"The thing is I like you, I like you so much it literally hurts right now because I can't do anything about it" Peter began ranting, pacing back and forth again, unable to meet your eyes while he confessed his feelings. "And I had this plan, this ... this stupid plan to take you to the Eiffel Tower to confess my feelings for you. But things didn't work out like I wanted them and know you're getting closer to Brad and I'll have no chance with you, I never really did, because look at him and then look at me! And to think I hoped you to like me back and then kiss you–"

"Peter stop!" You yelled to interrupt him, he finally stopped in his tracks looking wide-eyed at you.

He suddenly realized all of the things he said to you and covered his mouth regretting everything, but before he could say anything you walked closer to him until you were a few inches apart.

"Peter of course you're not like Brad, you're so different from him" You softly began, he just took a deep breath and looked to the floor with his head hanging low. "But that's why I like you too" You admitted as he quickly raised his head and met your eyes.

"You ... you do?" He couldn't contain the big smile growing in his face when he asked, to which you smiled back nodding.

"So why don't you kiss me now, that you know I feel the same way" You whispered leaning closer to his lips, moving your hands to meet his and intertwine your fingers.

Peter's eyes were literally shining, and his heart started beating faster for having you so close to him. He started leaning in too, so you closed your eyes yearning the feeling of his lips on top of yours, when he suddenly yanked his body back and your hands fell back to your side.

You frowned as you opened your eyes, noticing how he turned his back to you, inhaling deeply.

"Peter?" You gently called to him, resting a hand on his shoulders, but not even a second passed when he abruptly turned around, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Ihaveneverkissedanyonebefore" He hurriedly said, but you didn't understand a word. Peter noticed your confusion, and he took a deep breath before speaking again. "I have never kissed anyone before, like ever so I ... I don't know what to do" He embarrassingly confessed, blushing immediately.

You brought a hand to your mouth to cover a laugh that escaped your lips, and Peter just blushed even more.

"God, I shouldn't have said anything" Peter sighed, covering his face with both hands in regret. You softly laughed once more before gently uncovering his red face.

"Peter do you seriously think I care about that?" You playfully asked.

"But you laughed!" He whined, and you couldn't help but laugh once again. "See! you think it's ridiculous"

"I laughed because you're so adorable" You admitted and he hung his head back, sighing. "Peter it's not ridiculous, and if you care about it that much I can teach you" You offered shrugging your shoulders.

Peter looked back at you with different emotions on his face. Confusion ... excitement ... eagerness?

"Wouldn't that be ... weird?" He innocently asked.

"I don't know, you tell me" You lowered your tone as you walked closer to him, until you were just inches apart from his lips for the second time of the night. "I will forget about it if you don't want to" You whispered looking straight into his eyes.

"No! I mean y-yes I want to, please teach me" He nervously agreed, continuously nodding his head.

Alright, Peter Parker was definitely the most adorable human being on earth.

"Okay, but first you need to relax" You said, walking behind him and placing your hands on his shoulders to gently massage them. "You're so tense Pete"

"Uhum" He could only mumble closing his eyes, your hands were doing magic on his tense body.

He was enjoying it to much that he almost complained when your hands left his shoulders, he opened his eyes to find you in front of him again.

"Now you can place your hands here" You instructed, guiding his hands with yours to rest on your waist. "And I will place mine here" You lifted one your arms to the back of his head and began playing gently with his messy hair, while you laid the other hand flat on his face to caress his cheek. "Is this okay?" You asked, making sure he was comfortable with it.

Peter only nodded, he was too intoxicated with your sweet scent and excited by your actions that he was afraid if he spoke a single word his voice would be way too high pitched.

"I think we can start with a few soft pecks and work our way from there" You began, looking straight into his wide eyes.

Let's not deceive ourselves here, even though you were the one leading the way here, that didn't take your nervousness away. I mean, you were teaching your crush how to kiss, the closeness to his body was making your knees weak.

"So we just close our eyes" You instructed, smiling when Peter eagerly shut his eyes. "And I'll lean closer and closer until we meet our lips" You whispered doing as you said.

You softly landed your lips on his, lightly pecking them before retrieving back, when Peter leaned forward to peck your lips again, surprising you with his sudden move.

"I'm s-sorry, I wanted to try it again" Peter excused himself blushing.

"You don't need to apologize Pete, you can do it as many times you wan–" Peter interrupted kissing you again, and you laughed at his eagerness.

"God, I-like-you-so-much" Peter admitted admitted between light pecks, and you blushed this time.

"I like you too Peter, and I think we can move on to the next step so you can kiss me properly" You smirked and he nodded, now confidently tightening the grip on your waist.

"So now we're going to interlock our lips" You said, leaning your head a little to one side, and gently pushing Peter's to the other. "You're just gonna lightly part your lips, and I'll grab your bottom lip like this" You explained before crashing your lips on Peter's once again, this time locking your lips together.

You decided that instead of telling him what to do you would show him, so you began slowly moving your lips, to which Peter involuntarily moaned into the kiss, making you gently pull a strand of his hair. Peter followed your lead and began moving his lips too, almost immediately synchronizing with you.

It wasn't the most experienced kiss, your noses crashing a few times making you laugh into the kiss, but for someone who hadn't kiss anyone before, Peter was actually good at it. So yes, it was not the most experienced kiss, but it was perfect for you.

Peter honestly didn't know if he was doing it right but his lips kept moving along with yours, as if they somehow belonged together. He was enjoying it more than he thought he would that he never wanted to leave your lips, but his lungs begged for oxygen and he was forced to separate from you.

"I ... wow" You mumbled recovering your breath. "That was amazing Peter" You admitted looking admiringly at him.

"To be honest I was winging it the whole time" His nervous laugh was followed by yours.

"No but seriously, whatever you did do it again" You confidently ordered, and he immediately complied.

Your mouths crashed back together, and he seemed to be more confident now, leaving the grip on your waist to grab your face and deepen the kiss. You smirked and decided to play with him, slipping your tongue in the kiss. Peter was taken a back by the action, way to delighted by the way your tongue played with his.

You were driving him crazy.

In that moment Peter forgot about all of his problems and responsibilities and decided to focus only on you, because even though his plan failed, this outcome was so much better. You got lost into the kiss as well, and you began walking forward until Peter's legs hit the bed. He automatically sat down grabbing you by the waist, never separating from the kiss, this way you ended up sitting on his lap.

Your desperate hands stopped playing with his hair, as you brought them to his torso and slipped them under his shirt, feeling his surprisingly hard abdomen. You decided to break the kiss, to which he winced already missing your lips, but suddenly realized you had other plans for them.

He couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips when you focused on trailing wet kisses down his neck, his arms' hairs flying up from the unfamiliar pleasure.

"Umm yes Y/n, don't stop" The boy helplessly begged, and you smirked lightly nibbling his skin.

"I can - teach you - how to kiss - my neck too" You breathlessly said in between kisses, imitating his action from before. "You just ... do this" You began kissing his neck more intensely, sucking on his skin this time, making sure to leave some lovely marks.

"Fuck Y/n" Peter couldn't help but groan every time your lips touched his skin, a new side of him was awaken, as he felt his pants tighten around his crotch.

You separated from him a little and hung your head backwards to give him access to your neck, to which he immediately began leaving kisses on it. He ran his hands through your back as he worked his way on you, and boy he was doing a great job.

"That feels so good Peter, oh–" You moaned when he sucked right on your sweet spot, his ears delighted by the beautiful sounds you made.

You both continued making out, switching from neck kisses to french kisses, moaning into each other's mouths as you gave in your love.

When you woke up this morning you never thought you would be straddling your crush's lap in his hotel room, and to be honest you didn't even know how you ended up in this position, but you were so grateful.

Your thoughts and making out session were interrupted by a knock on the door, and Mr.Harrington's voice came from behind it.

"Peter, we're leaving to the opera now let's go!" He cheerfully announced, unbeknownst to the situation on the other side of the door.

"Yeah I ... I'll be right outside in a minute" Peter replied, trying to make his out of breath voice sound clear.

"Okay, we'll meet in the lobby" The teacher said before finally leaving.

You both stared at each other with wide eyes and blushed cheeks, realizing how everything had escalated so quickly. You cleared your throat as you got up from his lap, and stood awkwardly in front of him. Peter cleared his throat too, running a hand through his hair attempting to tame it, an inhaled deeply before speaking.

"That was ... really good" He admitted and you both smiled. "But I ... I think we should have a date now, right?"

"Are you inviting me on a date Parker?" You innocently asked biting your lip.

"Yeah, let's go on a date" He confidently said and you nodded, walking towards him to softly peck his lips.

"Alright, see you at the lobby then" You winked at him and turned around to leave the room.

Once you closed the door and were out of his vision range, you let out a silent squeal of happiness, this had been the best thing that happened on the trip so far. You happily made your way towards your room to get a better outfit to have your date with Peter, one that included a scarf to cover your fresh hickies.

Peter stood for a moment in the middle of his room, astonished by what just happened, replaying the scene over and over again in his head. Peter had planned to have his first kiss with you, not a full on make out session, so now he couldn't shake the stupid smile from his face.

He suddenly remembered the whole fire elemental situation and mentally slapped himself, he was not going to be able to have his date with you now. He sighed deeply as he got the suit out the closet, where he had previously thrown it before you came in.

He stared at the black suit in his hands, he had previously tried it on and it was already a little tight around his ol' web-shooter, and now after that hot make out session with you, it'll definitely be way too tight around it.

[slowly-writing]

Whispers

Avengers x Teen!Reader

Word count: 1.8K

Requested by @shady80smusicsingercolor : Avengers x teen!reader Where the reader is a cheerleader at the high school that Peter goes to, reader was during school hours when the teen heard the rest of the squad talking crap about them,teen gets upset,and after teen decided to skip practice,when they arrive to the avengers tower,Steve was the first one to notice but yet haven't notice the sadness in the reader face,but then realized the teen should be in practice,Steve now notices the teen face, calls for the team,and team comfort her

A/N: this was requested so long ago (literally April 10th), and I’m so sorry it took me so long. Thank you for your patients!

“Bye Pete, I’ll see you back home. I’ve got practice after school,” you remind the boy, waving as you turn the corner out of the cafeteria. You always left lunch a little early. Your next class was across the school and you really didn’t like to be late. So that’s what brought you here, alone and hearing voices ahead of you. Normally you wouldn’t think much of it, being in a school there’s constantly someone somewhere, talking about something. But then you heard your name.

You paused creeping close to the corner, but not quite rounding it. Listening to the voices you recognized as your teammates.

“What’s the deal with y/n and Peter? She’s always with him...I wonder if they’re dating,” Betty whispers to the group you can’t quite see.

“They can’t be. She’s way too good for Parker. It’s just a charity thing. Cause she lives with the avengers and he works there or whatever. She probably pities him,” Brad counters and you shrink further in on yourself.

“She’s kind of a weirdo too though. With that whole mysterious backstory and weird accent she tries to hide. Where’s she from? And how did she end up at the avengers tower?” Liz joins in and your frown deepens.

Did they really think you were shallow enough to think you were better than Peter? Just because he wasn’t on the football team? If only they knew how awesome he really was. And why did they suddenly want to know everything about you? They never asked before and you don’t really want to unpack their analysis of your home life anyways. That was none of their business.

You silently turn around, taking the long way to class. You really don’t want to see any of them right now.

xxxxx

When the final bell rang you sat at your desk, debating whether you could face practice. They don’t know you heard them gossiping, and it hurts more that they said it all behind your back, so you shake your head sending a quick text off to your coach, claiming you have a migraine, and start walking home.

You kept running over the things they had said. They really thought Peter was lame? After everything, you’d thought they’d gotten to know him. He’s the coolest person you’ve met, even without the whole spiderman thing. He was sweet and super passionate about the things he enjoyed. He was smarter than you could ever hope to be, but you never minded listening to him in the lab as he rambled about the new web shooters he was working on. You think he’s amazing, and you know that’s more than your massive crush talking.

Then there was the fact that they thought you were hiding things. It’s not like your living situation was a secret, but it wasn’t something you enjoyed talking about. You were born in Sokovia and lived there with your parents until the attack with Ultron happened. Most of that day is a blur, a mix of confusion, chaos, and repressed memories. But you know Steve got you out, but your parents were lost in the tragedy.

Steve and the other avengers felt some sort of responsibility to you. You’re still not quite sure why, but you know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. A lot of people from your hometown came out of it with nothing, and the team is always sure to help when they can, but you’re grateful for your new life and all that it’s given you.

You’re so lost in thought you don’t even register that you’re almost home until you reach the front door of the tower. You smile weakly at the security guard and make your way to the elevator, silently praying nobody is home. As the doors open you see your prayers haven’t been answered, but the silver lining is Peter’s not there yet. Maybe Steve will forget you have practice today.

“Hey, kiddo. Didn’t you have practice after school?” shit.

“Uh yeah...it umm. Got cancelled. Last minute...gardening emergency. They had to close the field for the day,” you wince and Steve raises an eyebrow. “I gotta go. Homework.”

With that lame excuse you scramble to your room, closing the door behind you and flopping face down on the bed.

xxxxx

“Hey, Peter. Did y/n seem off to you today? She seemed upset when she got home from school,” Steve asks Peter in the lab, Peter furrowing his brow before responding.

“No, not that I noticed, but I haven’t seen her since lunch. Maybe practice was rough, I know they’re getting ready for that competition in a few weeks,” Peter says softly, trying to figure out how to help you.

“No, practice was cancelled. They closed the field,” Steve’s words cause Peter’s head to snap up.

“No they didn’t. I saw them practicing after school. The soccer team was on the field too. I didn’t look too close because y/n says it’s embarrassing when I watch practices, but I know it happened,” Peter stands, setting his tools aside, “I’m gonna go talk to her.”

“I’ll come with you,” Steve follows him out of the lab, and not five minutes later, there’s a knock on your door.

“Coming,” you yell, only to immediately shrink back after opening the door. One look at their faces and you know they’ve caught you in your lie, “hey.”

“I think we need to talk,” Steve says in his captain voice and you let out a sigh, opening the door enough for them to follow you into the room.

“Why did you skip practice?” Peter’s head is tilting to the side like a confused puppy, and you have to remind yourself that this is a serious conversation, not a time to fawn over how cute he is.

“I just-”

“And don’t try to lie again,” Steve cuts you off. The man really knows you too well.

“You know how in movies and TV shows cheerleaders are always such jerks?” They both silently nod, “and how when I moved here I tried really hard to fit in so they’d be nice to me?” two more nods. “I thought it worked but it turns out that in real life they just say the mean things behind your back when they think you aren’t listening.”

“What’d they say?” Steve’s voice is softer now, he’s always been afraid of you having problems at school. He knows his fair share about bullying, and knows kids will always attack anything different. Your accent may have faded over the years, but it’s still clear that you’re not from here and you’re not quite used to the New York lifestyle. Back home everything was smaller, but you’re always excited to learn about your new home. It’s rare to see you without a smile on your face and he always hoped your naive compassion would save you.

“They were talking about how weird it was that I kept secrets about why I lived here and…” you trail off, looking at Peter. He looks ready to go to war for you, and you don’t want to admit the rest out loud, “that I must only hang out with Peter out of pity. But it's not true! Sometimes I think it’s the other way around. You’re so sweet and smart that sometimes I think the only reason you spend time with me is because you feel bad for me. The freaky kid from another country with no family. I try to fit in a school, so I don’t talk about my home, and I’ve learned to talk like they do. But no matter what I do, I still stick out. Maybe it’d be easier for you if we weren’t friends at all.”

By the time you finish your eyes are firmly locked on your hands in your lap, tears building up in your eyes.

“That’s not true,” Peter says firmly, in a rare show of anger. For a moment you think he’s mad at you, until he continues and you see the real object of his anger. “I don't hang out with you because I pity you, or I think I have to. I hang out with you because I like you for who you are. You make me feel normal. Not like the geeky kid at school everyone likes to tease, or the hero the city looks to for help. With you I’m just Peter. You listen to me ramble about tech I know you couldn’t care less about and you tell me about cheerleading moves that are so foreign to me they may as well be in a different language, but it doesn’t matter. We’re there for each other, it’s what we do. And I wish I could’ve been there for you this time. I know what it’s like to feel like you have to keep secrets but you don’t have to do that with me.”

You let his words sink in, letting him brush away the tears that have made their way down your cheeks before Steve speaks.

“And you have a family. I know you lost yours in Sokovia and I can’t even imagine that pain, but you’re not alone. You have all of us and any one of us will be here to listen to you, or take your mind off of it for a bit. What happened to you was traumatic, you lost your whole life and it’s okay not to want the kids at school knowing that. But you don’t have to forget where you came from to fit in.  Wanda makes food from Sokovia on Peitro’s birthday every year and I know she still keeps her journal in Russian. You’re allowed to miss your home, y/n. It doesn’t make you wierd, or ungrateful. It makes you human,” Steve wraps his arm around your shoulder and you lean into his side.

“I do like it here, but it’s just so hard sometimes,” you admit softly.

“We know it is, but you’re not alone,” Peter tells you and you smile up at him, gently taking his hand in your own.

“Now, I think you need a fun, relaxing night with no responsibilities. What do you say to a movie night. We’ll watch whatever you want,” Steve proposes and your smile widens as you nod. “Then it’s settled. I’ll go gather the troops, and you two come join us whenever you’re ready.”

It’s silent for a few moments after he leaves and you soon realize you’re still holding Peter’s hand. You go to pull away but his grip is firm. His other hand on your chin, drawing your eyes to his. “I mean it you know. I like you, as more than just a friend.”

“You do?” your voice is barely above a whisper, but there’s a happiness in your eyes you can’t hide and Peter’s whole face lights up.

“Yes really. I have for a while now, I just never knew how to tell you. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way.”

“I do,” the words tumble out of your mouth before he’s even done speaking, but he’s smiling, and so are you. For now it all feels right as he gently presses his lips to yours. The whispers in the hallways don’t matter, because you have a family, and it seems you may have a boyfriend now too.

Tag list: @rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @worlds-in-words @im-salt-but-not-salty @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff @xxxtwilightaxelxxx  @stop-drop-and-drumroll

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

Music for the Soul

Summary: Soulmate AU where the song your soulmate is thinking of gets stuck in your head. 

This fic is inspired by and gifted to @yellowpaintpots.

Notes:  canonical, this is S2 E6 and a little beyond but it’s not exactly like the show obviously.

AO3

Kurt Hummel was used to not fitting in. At McKinley High, he was often an odd man out. He did partner projects alone, he held his tongue around bullies and had no one to complain to, and most days, he had an entire lunch table to himself. No one sat with the kid in weird, homemade clothes unless there was no other choice. 

What kept him going was music. He had one earbud in as he walked down the halls. Choosing from playlists his mother used to listen to, Broadway soundtracks sung by people still performing on stage today, and to the thrill of his father, rock classics. If Burt Hummel had passed anything onto his son, it was his music tastes and the fantastical idea of soulmates. 

The image of a white knight coming to save him by serenade was one that haunted him before he fell asleep. A boy, which little eleven-year-old Kurt held close to his heart, picked out by the universe meant just for him. Even when he started to find the fantasy a little too cheesy, it kept Kurt going until he found the glee club.

No one could touch him or change him because there was someone out there who would love him exactly the way he was. 

The New Directions were a hot mess when they started, of course. The 5 of them weren’t winning any competitions when they first found themselves in the choir room but they were five misfits who finally had friends. People who understood the passion of music and an adult who shared that same passion and would hopefully guide them to their dream futures. 

Just months later, they became a mixture of a dozen sophomores and freshmen with a Sectionals win under their belt all ready to face the Dalton Academy Warblers in a few weeks. With Regionals looming over them, glee had become much messier than usual. With plenty of in-fighting about solos and song choices, the choir room was always a jumbled, loud mess. That is until Mr. Schue came up with the idea for a school musical. It was taking their minds off of Regionals for the time being.

Kurt was all too happy to be auditioning for a role instead of sitting in the back row wishing he had a shot at a solo. His voice was too unique for Ohio. But someday, he knew, it would get him to Broadway. He held that thought close to his heart while tuning out Rachel’s insistence bickering.  

Yesterday, Mr. Schue had decided their school musical was going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Kurt loved cult classics as much as the next person but he wasn’t sure how Mr. Schue had gotten this approved by Figgins. It seemed too risqué for high schoolers. 

He only hoped whoever his soulmate was enjoying the soundtrack he had stuck in his head this week. 

Kurt planned on auditioning for Riff Raff. Already putting mental outfits from his closet to wear. The wound of Mr. Schue assuming he’d play Frank N. Furter based solely on the fact that he was gay was still fresh but his audition was going to blow everyone away. 

He had chosen “Dammit Janet” for his audition despite it being a Brad and Janet duet. Quinn, who was hoping for Magenta, was going to be his partner. They had joked about the main roles already being off the table before auditions; it was clear Mr. Schue had chosen Finn and Rachel for the leads. It was hard to be upset when Quinn had instantly offered to do a joint audition with him. Their voices went so well together and Kurt liked spending time with her. 

Ever since Kurt and Mercedes had their stint as Cheerios, they had gotten closer. The three of them even had a weekend sleepover this past Saturday. Mercedes had dumped the Cheerios but Kurt stayed on and Quinn had just gotten back on the squad after her dismissal last year. Coach Sue had them sing during practice last week and Quinn was waiting for him after their showers with the suggestion of a double audition song. 

They had been having rehearsals in the auditorium during their shared free period and twice after glee club on days when it wasn’t already reserved. As the day came closer, Quinn offered her house to practice in since her parents were rarely home and so Finn wouldn’t become Rachel's spy. Though, Kurt assured her Finn was much too engrossed in video games to bother with their rehearsals. 

Since they increased their run-throughs, Kurt’s had one song in his head all morning. In case the lyrics weren’t already ingrained into his head, he had his own little concert in his head. Just after lunch, that changed. A mere 3 hours until his audition after school his soulmate’s music had taken root. As much as Kurt was willing to bow down to the queens of pop, what he wouldn’t give for 5 minutes of something other than Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream”. This bubble gum pop song had gone from ‘oh, that’s a good song to scream in the car’ to ‘if I hear it one more time, I’ll rip my ears off’ fairly quickly. 

It hadn’t helped that his brain went from one song on repeat to another. 

As he sits in geometry, he tries to hear Mr. Finnegan’s explanation of arcs but his brain has other plans. 

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans. 

Kurt knows it’s just a song but the image is so clear in his head. 

Smooth, soft skin. Obviously, someone who used lotions regularly, Kurt expected nothing less from his soulmate. Neatly trimmed fingernails so they wouldn’t catch on Kurt’s pants when fingers trailed up to cup his knee. The grip would be teasingly light. He never let his fantasies get too far. Especially outside the privacy of his bedroom. In all honesty, even when he was alone in his bed at night envisioning the same kind of scenario, Kurt didn’t really know what came next. He wasn’t even sure what kissing really entailed. 

What if his soulmate is ready for...certain things...Kurt’s not even to verbalize yet. What if he’s imagining their first meeting very differently then Kurt, who’s hopeful they’ll have coffee or a meal together before they do anything besides maybe hand-holding. The touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets, unless you ask Katy Perry it seems. 

He spends the rest of math wondering what the boy with Katy Perry in his head must look like. Kurt wonders if his soulmate wears bright colors like his idol or maybe Katy is a secret shame that he’ll only share with Kurt. 

…

Blaine liked fitting in. He enjoyed the uniform for many reasons. One, he thought the blazer looked stylish. It was also nice knowing what you had to wear every day, one less thing to worry about people judging you for. Plenty of people at his old school picked on him for his bow ties but at Dalton, everyone had neckwear. The standard blue and red striped tie. He liked how neat it was; there was a certain way to wear said uniform. 

Everyone was the same here. No typical hierarchy of jocks and cheerleaders. Only the Warblers stood out simply because everyone knew them. 

How could you forget a group of boys singing acapella at all hours of the day?

 Blaine might joke that they’re teenage rockstars but really they are just a group of talented guys who liked to sing. 

The Warblers were the first real friends he ever had. 

When he was still attending public school he held tightly to the idea of his soulmate since it seemed hopeless to wish for friendship. Not when he was being harassed for a sexuality he wasn’t sure of yet and being pushed to the ground in the parking lot for it. 

But a soulmate was a guarantee. Everyone had one. By the time Blaine reached eighth grade, he knew. All of those middle school bullies had used words Blaine didn’t quite understand until that moment. 

He was surrounded in the parking lot after school having missed his bus because someone had stuck gum in his curls during last period. That was the day Blaine started to seriously consider investing in some gel. Maybe that would prevent some bullying. Anyway, he was surrounded, being literally kicked around by a group of soccer players and friends. 

Other students had gathered to watch the so-called fight but Blaine thought their chants would only grab the attention of a teacher or so he hoped. No one came quickly. He had enough injuries by the end for his mom to insist on a trip to the ER. A big black eye and sprained his wrist along with plenty of bruising on his limbs. 

But he honestly didn’t remember getting hurt beyond the initial pushing to the ground. When the bullying got bad like this he pulled out those daydreams. This time around it wasn’t this blurry image of hand holding, there was a boy. Blaine hadn’t seen his face but his voice was soft and comforting, inviting Blaine in. There was an outstretched hand just out of reach for Blaine to take. Blaine knew then. His soulmate was a boy. 

When everything was over and he was being released by the doctor, all he knew was there was some boy built perfectly for Blaine just waiting to be found. Waiting for him. 

He hadn’t even been upset by his injuries because he was sitting with these thoughts of ‘how do I come out to my parents?’ 

Instead of deciding that day, he kept those daydreams close to his heart for the next year and a half. Until the issue of high school came out and Blaine didn’t want to go back to public school. To his surprise, both of his parents took it well. They were more concerned for his safety than his sexuality. Together, they decided on Dalton. A private school with a zero tolerance policy for bullies. That was that. 

He still had his doubts at Dalton. Was he really good enough to be a lead soloist let alone go onto Broadway someday? Could he make it out of Ohio? In those moments, Blaine still came back to his soulmate. Someone, no matter what came, Blaine would have by his side. 

When he imagined his soulmate, Blaine could never truly figure out what he’d look like. All he saw was that outstretched hand. Usually, people could draw up a picture in their heads based on the music they heard. 

For Blaine, the genre of music didn’t help. His soulmate was clearly someone with mixed taste. 

Today’s selection was...a musical. Blaine wasn’t familiar with the characters Brad and Janet but he had looked it up at lunch. Some kind of cult classic people went to see in the weeks leading up to Halloween. It was October so it made sense for the soundtrack to be stuck in his soulmate’s head. Blaine wondered if he had gone to see it, wondered who he saw it with. 

The Warblers thought he was crazy. Imagining that his soulmate was off with some other person. It was rare to date seriously before meeting a soulmate but Blaine always told them the same story of his parents. Both of them had been in very serious relationships before they met. Hell, his mother had been engaged. Neither of them thought they’d meet their soulmate, which was also fairly rare but had happened.  

When they met, they didn’t drop everything to be together. The wedding was put on hold but his father hadn’t broken up with his girlfriend right away. His parents wanted to be together only if they agreed with the universe’s choice. 

Blaine knew his dad had been wary of his mother’s music taste. Pam had been deep into her metal phrase in her early twenties. His dad, Robert, was not a fan. He loved classical music. Forever dooming Pam to hum music without lyrics meanwhile Robert was cursed with “nonsense yelling” as he called it. Lucky, both of their music tastes had shifted over the years to have more overlap. Though, Blaine and Cooper had been subjected to dinners with a mixtape of Def Leppard and Bach. 

They got together in the end, which was the important part, but what if they hadn’t chosen each other? What if Blaine’s soulmate was deeply in love with someone else and he’d spend the rest of his days loveless and alone?

When he voiced these thoughts aloud, his friends usually told him what a downer he could be, which tended to shake those fears away. If his parents, different as they were, still fell in love it would happen to him too. It was just a matter of when. 

…

The next day at lunch, Mercedes was fretting over her soulmate. 

“What if he’s super young, Kurt?” 

“What makes you think that?” He asked, stabbing his salad. 

“He’s got The Backyardigans theme song in his head again,” she sighed. “He got to be like 7. I’m just not comfortable with that.” 

“It’s an age gap for sure,” Kurt agreed, but he’s fairly sure Sam Evans was singing that song after PE today, “or maybe he just has younger siblings. Don’t let your only-childness cloud your judgment.”

She hummed in agreement and pushed her tater tots around. 

It was sort of a hard way to figure out your soulmate unless they were obvious about what music they had playing in their heads.

Some people, like Mr. Schue, we’re pretty obvious. He had been singing in the auditorium when Ms. Pillsbury found him. It was a pretty clear-cut match. As far as Mercedes was concerned, Kurt is sure she’ll overhear Sam’s humming soon enough. 

He doesn’t want to spoil anything for his best friend nor does he want to be wrong. Soulmate meetings only come once in a lifetime. 

Well, the first soulmate meeting that is. 

There are plenty of people, like his dad, who lose a soulmate too soon and are gifted another one later in life. Kurt was so happy when he introduced Burt and Carole at parent-teacher conferences. They had just been listening to the Wicked soundtrack in the car ride over and Carole Hudson did not strike Kurt as the type of person who knew “I’m Not That Girl” by heart. 

“Are you nervous about auditions?” Mercedes asked. “The list goes up today after glee.” 

“Not at all like,” he shrugged, “I think Quinn and I did well.” 

“Oh no, Kurt, we crushed it,” Quinn said, sitting down with her lunch. 

He smiled at her. Quinn went on to compliment Mercedes on her audition, having heard part of it from outside the audition. She would’ve been inside with Kurt to watch but Coach Sue wanted to meet with her head Cheerio about their upcoming competition. From what Quinn had told them via text, Sue was going all out at practice today. 

“She doesn’t want us to be late,” Quinn said. “That list better be up right away.” 

“We should change before glee,” Kurt suggested. 

“Good idea.” 

Once Quinn had sat down the rest of the New Directions filed in. With interlocking pinkies, Santana and Brittany wandered over taking the last two seats available. 

“Cheerios practice is gonna be hell, hope you’re up for the challenge Hummel,” Santana said. 

He shot her a short glare. 

“Kurt always understands the assignment, Santana,” Quinn quipped back. 

Brittany nodded in agreement smiling at Kurt from across the table. She gave him a small wave half hidden by her lunch tray. In return, Kurt waved back just as shyly. 

They had an interesting friendship. Kurt had kissed Brittany before. He was sure it hadn’t phrased Brittany as it had him. After all, she had kissed almost every boy in school. Some kind of record, he thought. 

They sort of dated for like a week when Kurt was trying to convince himself he was straight. When he firmly realized he was kidding no one, not even himself, they broke up. Since then, he and Brittany had remained close. They were both Cheerios and in the glee club, it made sense. 

He was happy to have Brittany in his life, even if that meant Santana by extension came with her. Santana was fine outside of the public eye. If the Unholy Trinity incited Kurt to their sleepovers, Santana was a different person. She put up a front at McKinley, extremely similar to the one Kurt attempted when he dated Brittany. 

Few are privy to why she did this, Quinn and Kurt knew and he was fairly certain Mercedes did as well. She was very perceptive that way. Brittany was Santana’s soulmate. It explained so much about their relationship. Always in sync, completing each other perfectly, a literal better half.

Honestly, it gave Kurt so much hope that everyone’s soulmate was like that. A missing puzzle piece. 

He really hoped his soulmate listened to more than just Teenage Dream because the lyrics were slowly creeping into his everyday language. 

Usually, Kurt found himself hyper-focused in glee club. He got an energy boost just from walking into the choir room. Like a light switch turning on. His focus wasn’t always on whatever lecture Mr. Schue was pursuing, sometimes he watched his fellow glee clubbers (catching himself up on drama just by sideways glances), or mentally mapping out his next performance. 

Today, Kurt wasn’t able to do any of those things. With the soundtrack of Teenage Dream (again) in his head, all he was thinking about was the center of a bulletin board with the cast list for The Rocky Horror Show on it. How far down the list was Riff Raff? How many names came before his?

Someone was snapping in front of his face. Kurt shook himself from his daydream to find Mercedes.

“Boy, wake up!” She said, “cast list is about to go up.” 

Either glee club had gotten shorter or Mr. Schue was putting it up early. 

…

Blaine didn’t really understand why the Warblers were concerned. Doing an improv performance was not new to them. In fact, Blaine had done three already this school year and he was only a freshman. 

The first one he did had been way back in September, he hadn’t even been an official Warbler yet. Warbler Tradition said: all potential freshman recruits were required to perform again after their auditions with the whole group. It was a solid way to see if they fit in well with the other established Warblers. Blaine fondly remembers vibing along with the older Warblers and fellow potentials to a medley of Pink songs. None of the freshmen had solos but it was still a fun time. 

At the time it seemed like all of Dalton fit into the choir room and surrounding hallways but in reality it was the entire freshman class. Improv performances weren’t something any middle schooler had seen before but the upperclassmen of Dalton knew the Warblers had plenty of improvs to come for the rest of the school year. The first one was special. Just for the newbies. 

Three days after that performance, Blaine had gotten word that he was to be a new Warbler and two months after that he was granted his first solo. Now, he was slowly becoming their go-to soloist for almost every performance for an audience. Blaine had become a vital part of all rehearsals for the most part. He was honored by their commitment to him honestly and he loved to sing however, a week and half of preparations was a tad excessive. Still, he walked his way to rehearsal positive that the council would have at least five points to discuss before they actually started singing. 

He walked into the choir room shaking his shake fondly and smiling at the Warblers already present. 

The council were always first to arrive. Together. Then it was a mixed bag of who followed. Usually Trent was there, punctual as always, and Blaine took the seat between Trent and Jeff. 

The room was mostly full already. 

Nick came in shortly after Blaine and sat across from him immediately asking if there had been a pop quiz in Stanton’s class earlier and was rather relieved to find out Jeremy was a filthy liar, who liked to start trouble. Before Jeremy could get on Blaine’s case about being overly sincere, the meeting began. 

Wes banged his gavel and welcomed everyone before gesturing for David to read off last meeting’s notes. Once the talking portion of the meeting was over, they pushed the furniture aside to make room. 

...

A week later Kurt was happy to have one musical under his belt but thankful the performance run had been short. If you thought the New Directions were dramatic during competition weeks, it was nothing compared to their musical rehearsals. 

Now, Mr. Schue was having the brilliant idea to host a boys vs girls competition. Of course, Kurt hadn’t wanted to work with the boys. They were sure to exclude his musical talents and he doubted he could get them to agree to any of his costume suggestions. 

This was hardly a challenge. It was bland and they had done it already. 

Kurt was sitting in the back of the choir room pouting. Yes, pouting. Full on arms crossed, head down, and bottom lip puffed out. Until, Mr. Schue had an actual brilliant idea, Kurt’s suggestion of course, to spice things up. 

The boys did not appreciate Kurt’s six hours of work putting two posters together. Even with the assignment to bring more feminine qualities into their performance, the boys ignored his input. So, when Puckerman suggested Kurt spy on the Warblers, he was thankful for a reason to leave. He packed up his projects and headed home to change.

When Mr. Schue found out who their competition was, Rachel and Kurt did some googling. He had seen the all-boys school uniform and was fairly sure he could replicate it with clothes he already had. 

He pulled some looks from his closet. Once satisfied he looked up directions to Westerville. 

Dalton was huge. It looked like a museum. How on earth was Kurt going to find their choir room? He hoped there were signs inside or a map. 

As he walked down a spiral staircase much too pretty to be in a school, he decided to just ask for directions. He was going to get lost if he kept walking without help. 

When the boy he stopped turned around, all Kurt could think was ‘I’d love to put my hands all over you.’ Which was a ridiculous thought to have because he didn’t know this boy and where had that even come from? Oh right, Teenage Dream was still playing in his head. Thanks, Katy. 

If only his soulmate knew he was using this song to fantasize about running off into the sunset with another boy. 

…

Blaine loved being in the spotlight. Wes would say it was because he didn’t get that kind of attention from his parents but that simply wasn’t true. Well, unless Cooper was around; he always pulled focus when it came to their parents. Older sibling privilege, he assumed. 

But he was running late. He stayed behind in class to ask a question which turned into his teacher rambling. Didn’t he know the Warblers had a performance today in the senior commons and Blaine was their lead singer? 

He was checking the time when someone stopped him on the stairs. 

A beautiful boy. Unlike anyone Blaine had ever seen before. He almost missed his name because he was caught up in memorizing his face. 

There was something said about being new, which Blaine doubted since he wasn’t in uniform, and Blaine mentioned a shortcut he knew of. 

It wasn’t really a shortcut. More like the long way to the Senior Commons but less crowded. Everyone was making their way to the Warblers and Blaine wanted as much time alone with Kurt as he could get. 

He wanted Kurt’s full attention. It was no wonder he instantly wanted to show off. Teenage Dream fit his vocals perfectly and Kurt was an excellent audience. In fact, Blaine was set on serenading him. 

He had no way of knowing that exact song had been playing all day long in Kurt Hummel’s mind. 

Afterward, Blaine lost himself in a group hug from the Warblers but Kurt’s beaming smile caught his eye. He pulled Wes and David aside, confirming his own suspicions that Kurt was spying on them first before convincing them to invite Kurt for coffee. 

The four boys sat at a table. Kurt seemed very nervous now. Blaine wasn’t sure if it was because he had been caught or something else was going on. In the end, Blaine thought it best for just him and Kurt to have a conversation. Not at all because he wanted alone time with him. 

This clearly wasn’t the time or place for romance. 

Once they were alone the whole tale seemed to flow out of Kurt: the name calling, locker shoving, his biggest bully. Blaine could relate. 

Sometimes he felt phantom pains in his right leg from Sadie Hawkins. At first, Kurt scoffed when Blaine began sympathizing. If he were Kurt, he might not believe himself. 

Private schoolboy bullied? Blaine sure didn’t look like someone who lacked friends. It was fairly common knowledge that Dalton had a zero tolerance policy for harassment. So, he explained. As brief as he could about his own experience with public school bullies. 

Kurt and he seemed to have more in common than a love for music. 

He doesn't have any plans to see Kurt again though Blaine has plenty of ideas on how they could get together. Coffee at the Lima Bean. Old musicals were playing at the revival theater. Maybe another high school was putting on a play this weekend. All Blaine needed was a good enough message to ask Kurt out. He drafted plenty but none sent. 

After school, Blaine knew Kurt might need an extra push. He was pretty sure classes at McKinley were done for the day. 

He sent a single word. Less second-guessing that way. 

Courage. 

Then, he walked to the library to start writing an essay on Lord of the Flies for English. 

However, he found himself unable to concentrate. Usually after a performance, Blaine had the song stuck in his head for at least a day or two afterward. In addition to humming in the weeks of rehearsals, of course. Instead, Blaine found himself thinking about Start Me Up by the Rolling Stones and oddly Livin’ On a Prayer. Both songs he thought better suited his father or Cooper’s tastes. It was a mashup of the two songs like his soulmate was hearing them simultaneously. 

When he started thinking about his soulmate, there was a clear picture of someone. It didn’t take long for Blaine to bring up those blue eyes and the soft complexion of Kurt Hummel. Which was crazy thinking. He had no idea if Kurt was his soulmate. 

Soulmates tended to be around the same age but just because Kurt was also in high school meant nothing. By that logic anyone at Dalton could be his soulmate too. 

During his brief time with Kurt this week, Blaine heard no music from his mouth. In fact, Blaine had done all the singing. Even with half his brain saying he was nuts to think Kurt was his forever, Blaine couldn’t let the thought go. 

…

Blaine’s text comes in in the midst of the girls’ performance. A wonderful mashup and excellent costumes. Tina had texted Kurt about the leather jacket idea early this week. He was very proud of how they managed to pull the looks together in such a short time. It was impressive. 

Altogether, Kurt was feeling great. The boys had their rehearsal, apparently their performance was turning into an apology. Kurt wasn’t sure what they had done to Coach Beiste but apparently, she was quitting. He and Blaine were texting periodically now. No one knew it but Kurt was surely developing a huge crush on the Warbler boy. 

Then, he confronted Karofsky. He didn’t want to feel the same regret Blaine did—no one messes with the Hummels. 

It seemed like mere hours but in reality, it was days, Kurt was enrolled at Dalton and saying goodbye to the New Directions. 

He was full on having a Vanessa leaving Troy moment here. Kurt Hummel has got to go his own way. 

God was he nervous to start at a new school. In the middle of the school year too. Being the new kid was going to be hard but not as difficult as staying at McKinley would be. 

When Kurt was greeted by Blaine’s smile outside the office on his first day, it made Kurt relax. At least he already had a friend here. 

It isn’t until they’re walking down the hall together—Blaine insisted on escorting Kurt to his first class—that Kurt noticed Blaine was humming.

“Is that High School Musical?” Kurt asked. 

“Oh, um, technically it’s the sequel.” 

“What about us…” Blaine sang, “what about everything we’ve been through?” 

“What about trust…you know I’ve never wanted to hurt you?” 

Blaine chucked. “Cheesy but true. Such a good movie.” 

“We should watch it sometime,” Kurt suggested. 

Instantly, he wanted to take it back. He’s been told he can come on too strong. Especially around cute boys. 

“I’d love too!” Blaine said. “I have it on DVD.” 

Kurt doesn’t see Blaine again until their one shared class of the day right before lunch. He sits across the room from Blaine during history but next to him at the Warbler’s lunch table. 

Most of the group has the same lunch so Kurt is introduced to them before his audition later this afternoon. 

“Nervous?” Wes asked, “you shouldn’t be.” 

“Yeah, from what Blaine's told us you're a great singer,” Trent added. 

“He’s barely heard me sing,” Kurt replied, poking Blaine’s arm. 

He only sang one line of a song to the other boy today. 

“Well…” Blaine rubs his neck abashedly. “I might’ve watched some New Directions videos on YouTube.” 

“Oh, I forgot Rachel uploaded those.” Kurt tunes to the other Warblers then, “I hope I don’t disappoint.” 

After lunch, Blaine walks Kurt to class again. “Between you and me, you’re a shoo-in.” 

“Really?” The Warblers were such an esteemed group. Not at all like the disorganized New Directions. They had also been a glee club for far longer. 

“Really.” 

***

Blaine has had High School Musical songs in his head all day. Whoever his soulmate is, at least he’s got good taste in Disney Channel original movies. Then as the Warblers were preparing for Kurt’s audition, the song switched. An Evita song. 

His soulmate sure did love musicals. Blaine was rather happy about that. He could already picture them sitting on the couch cuddled under a fluffy blanket with any number of classic musicals laid out before them. Arguing over if it was too soon to rewatch Moulin Rouge and whose turn it was to make popcorn. 

They’d be in a big city apartment. Somewhere where no one cared if they were gay. All anyone wanted to know was how they discovered they were soulmates. Their origin story. 

From that point, the daydream grew fuzzy. Blaine couldn’t come up with that meet-cute story. It hadn’t happened yet and nothing his brain could come up with would ever match up with his future reality. 

He shook his head, bringing himself back to the choir room. 

The room was buzzing with excitement. It wasn’t every day the Warblers auditioned someone mid-semester. Of course, Kurt had special circumstances but the group was notorious for never breaking tradition. 

Blaine tried to focus but it was difficult without Kurt at his side. Lately, he had been distracted whenever Kurt wasn’t around. All Blaine could hear, despite the loud room, was the song in his head. 

I had to let it happen

I had to change

Then, Kurt walked in and music started to play. For a split second, Blaine thought he was imagining the words from “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” coming from Kurt’s lips. Surely he hadn’t chosen the same song as Blaine’s soulmate had in their head. He knew it couldn’t be his imagination when Trent leaned over and whispered to Blaine how much he loved this song. 

Like lightning striking a tree, Blaine had a realization. Kurt Hummel was his soulmate. 

Oh god, what was he going to do? 

His skin was burning as if it was burned away like bark. He drooped in his seat desperate for water to put himself out with. To put a stop to the tingling sensation bubbling up under his skin. 

All he wanted to do was reach out and touch Kurt. Some part of his brain was able to override that thought. He couldn’t ruin this audition for him. There was plenty of time to spend with Kurt after this, Blaine had all the time in the world to talk with his soulmate.

Soulmate.  

Never did he think he would find his soulmate this soon. Gosh, they were only teenagers. They had so much life to live together. This was rare, special, to find your soulmate so quickly in life. Blaine would cherish it, he’d be thankful for this gift for rest of his days. 

But how in the hell was he going to tell Kurt? It had to be romantic. Blaine always thought it would be when he finally came face to face with his soulmate, his one true love. There was so much work to be done and so little time to do it. Now that Blaine knew, he didn’t want to spend another day without Kurt knowing too. 

He used to dream about running dramatically in slow motion towards each other and embracing just as it started to rain, which of course led to a fabulous first kiss in the sudden storm. But Blaine knew how unlikely that would be. 

He’d just have to build a new fantasy, which he thought would be easy to do if Kurt was his so-called Prince Charming. Whatever happened was going to outweigh everything his imagination had come up with thus far. 

First and foremost, he’d had to sit through a discussion of this audition, which he was barely able to pay attention to. All he wanted to do was walk up to Kurt, cup his face, and kiss him. After Kurt was finished, the council dismissed him. Blaine knew he’d find Kurt just outside the choir room because they had plans afterward but now he had no idea how he was going to sit through coffee with Kurt and not tell him. 

“He’s very good,” Trent said, nudging Blaine. 

He nodded in agreement. It seems most of the group concurred, Kurt was a good fit for them. 

Kurt Hummel was the perfect fit for Blaine too. Even if he didn’t know it yet. 

***

Kurt didn’t consider himself to be a good reader of social cues especially when his own emotions were involved. See, Finn Hudson and Sam Evans. Crushes on straight boys never ended well. With Blaine, he swore things would be different. 

They were friends, classmates, and hopefully, soon they’d be fellow Warblers. Kurt was not going to mess this up. Even if Blaine was really cute and friendly and super kind and understanding. There was so much to love about Blaine, Kurt found it hard to find something he didn’t like. 

He had found focusing on his dislikes of a person kept his feelings at bay. Like how messy Finn could be really shut down any romance fantasy Kurt had drawn up. Except, Blaine didn’t dye his hair like Sam, he was completely organized (Kurt had seen his dorm room; spotless), he was modest and genuine. 

It made sense that everyone at Dalton wanted some of his attention. Blaine embodied Kurt’s idea of a gentleman and then some. 

After his audition, Kurt sat outside the choir room waiting for his results. The council would discuss with the full group, release them, and regroup tomorrow with a vote. Kurt was waiting for Blaine to be dismissed because Blaine had promised to buy him a cup of coffee. 

Some of the Warblers who were leaving had some pretty nice things to say about Kurt’s performance. Just general praise which soothes some of his initial nerves. Mostly, he just wanted Blaine to walk out with a big smile on his face. That boy couldn’t keep a secret. Kurt would know if he was in or not just by looking at his face. 

Kurt was joined on his bench by a boy who introduced himself as Duncan. 

“I was super nervous after my audition. I just got in at the beginning of this year so I know what you’re going through.” 

Kurt felt his shoulders drop in relief. As much as Blaine tried to assure him the audition would be perfect, Kurt felt like he couldn’t relate much as the star of the glee club. Back at McKinley, Kurt rarely had center stage. Here, Blaine always had everyone’s attention. 

“That’s actually great to hear,” Kurt said, with a slight chuckle. 

“Seriously, Kurt, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’m a little concerned they’ll kick me out just to have your voice,” Duncan teased. 

They keep talking about what it’s like to be a new Warbler since Duncan is positive Kurt will be getting good news shortly. He offers up some pointers to get on the council’s good side. 

“I loved your song choice by the way, so weird because Evita had been in my head all day.” 

It feels like someone’s dropped an ice cube down his back. He sits up quickly. 

Oh, Kurt thought, is this it? 

“You did?” He must’ve heard wrong. There’s just no way. 

“Yeah, I love that musical,” Duncan confirmed. 

Could it be this easy? He wondered. 

“We should hang out again soon,” Duncan told him, “I’d love to get to know you. Newbie Warblers gotta stick together.” 

Kurt gives Duncan his number before the other boy wanders off. Before Kurt can get too deep into any fantasies of his soulmate, wondering if that soulmate has just left him or not, Blaine comes out from the choir room. 

“Hey you,” Blaine greeted with a big smile. 

“Are you allowed to give me any inclination?” 

He shook his head but was still smiling wide which made Kurt feel like good news was in his near future like Duncan had said. Kurt was telling Blaine how long he had practiced the song over the weekend with Rachel and Duncan reassurances when Blaine blurted, “Duncan Samuels?” 

“Yeah, we just met.” 

Should he tell Blaine about them being soulmates or wait until he was sure? 

But Blaine just nodded. Something was clearly bothering his friend. For now, Kurt was going to let it go because he was sure Blaine would come to him if he wanted to talk. He didn’t want to force it out of Blaine. 

Kurt couldn’t even get Finn to talk to him during their warm milk chats at night. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to pull the information out of Blaine if he tried.

“Anyway,” Kurt said, continuing his previous line of thought, “Rachel has this whole stage setup in her dads’ basement.” 

“I don’t find that hard to believe based on everything you’ve told me about her.” 

After that comment, their coffee date is back on track, Kurt doesn’t bring up his potential soulmate meeting. 

***

Duncan Samuels was his lifelong nemesis. As far as Blaine was considered his life began when he figured out Kurt was his soulmate and if Duncan was going to interfere with that they were now enemies. Since their coffee date yesterday, Blaine hasn’t heard a word about Duncan but he also had yet to see Kurt today. They only had one class together after lunch, which Blaine was on his way to now. 

Kurt saved him a seat and delivered the news. 

“Duncan and I are going for coffee today.” 

Those words were devastating. 

In normal circumstances, Blaine would’ve asked Kurt why he wasn’t going to rehearsal but of course Kurt wasn’t a Warbler…yet. Blaine knew the Warblers were going to announce Kurt’s membership at the end of day, which meant this was the last rehearsal Kurt wouldn’t attend. 

So instead of a calmly said, normal statement, Blaine spent the next minute freaking out. 

Duncan was the worst! He was going to steal Kurt away from him before Blaine ever got the chance. Well okay, the rational side of him thought, Kurt isn’t being stolen he’s going willingly. 

“That’s nice,” he finally said. 

There was no way for Blaine to stop Kurt and honestly no reason to try since Duncan posed no threat to Kurt. He didn’t need a protector. Blaine knew they were soulmates and he’d find a way to tell Kurt later on. At the end of it all, Kurt was his soulmate. He just knew it. 

“Are you free when I get out of rehearsal?” 

“For you?” Kurt asked, “of course, I’ll probably still be in the cafe.” 

“I’ll come find you,” Blaine told him. 

Still, all throughout Warbler rehearsal, Blaine’s attention was elsewhere. He needed to get out of here and meet up with Kurt. Wes knew it too because he pulled him aside at one point while David ushered the guys into a new arrangement.

“What’s up with you?” He asked, “I need you focused for competition.” 

“I will be,” he vowed. 

“You didn’t answer my question.” 

Blaine looked back at the other boys but they were already harmonizing. 

“It’s Kurt.” 

Wes smiled. “Don’t worry about him. He’s in, I can’t believe we have a countertenor on our team now. We’re going to wipe the floor at regionals.” 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Wesley. McKinley already knows what a talent Kurt is, he won’t be a surprise to them,” Blaine reminded him. 

“Ah, but they didn’t utilize his talent,” Wes said, “it’ll shock them to see Kurt in the spotlight.” 

Wes patted Blaine’s back and guided him back to the group to finish up rehearsal. 

Blaine couldn’t help but check his phone again before he tuned back into rehearsal. He knew Kurt was getting coffee and that’s why he wasn’t answering his phone. 

One of the best things about Kurt was when you were with him everything else was put aside. Blaine was sure if things got really serious, Kurt would shut his phone off entirely to prove a point. Right now, it was annoying as hell. Blaine needed to see a reassuring text that Kurt wasn’t running off into the sunset with Duncan Samuels. 

What if his phone was turned off because the two of them were standing at the altar? Everyone turns their phones off in church. 

He really really needed to talk to him. Blaine didn’t want to be the type of soulmate that holds onto that information too long. It’s like he’s lying to himself not being with Kurt. 

Once rehearsal was finally over, Blaine rushed over to the on-campus cafe where he knew Kurt would be. He had to be there. 

When Blaine pushed his way through the door, he saw Kurt was sitting alone nursing what looked to be a cup of tea. When Blaine approached him he could tell it was Chamomile. 

“Can I sit?” 

Kurt nodded but didn’t say a word as Blaine hung his bag across the back of the chair and removed his blazer. 

He expected a question about the Warblers, perhaps an inquiry about his status to become one but nothing came. Kurt wasn’t even drinking his tea. 

“What’s wrong? Did Duncan say something to upset you?”

“I’m fine, Blaine,” Kurt said, “Duncan didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me as usual.” 

Blaine didn’t understand. 

“Am I that unlovable?” 

“What?” 

Kurt was the most kind, sincere person he knew and Blaine had only met him a few weeks ago. He was most certainly lovable considering Blaine fell for him in just under 3 weeks 

“I can’t really blame him,” Kurt continued, “it’s not his fault we aren’t soulmates.” 

“You thought he was your soulmate?” 

Maybe telling Kurt wouldn’t be too difficult after all. 

“It’s just he made this comment yesterday that made me think…but of course I got too ahead of myself again and really I should know by now,” Kurt mumbled the last bit, “nothing ever goes to plan.” 

“You can say that again.” 

This cafe wasn’t a romantic candlelit dinner. He didn’t have rose petals to scatter around. There was no champagne to toast. But he had the most important thing. 

Blaine reached across the table to grab Kurt’s hand. “Think of a song.” 

“Why?” 

“Just do it,” Blaine said. 

Kurt’s face was scrunched up in a “I’m confused but I’ll trust you” kind of way. 

As soon as the song hit him, Blaine opened his mouth to sing, “this could be the start of something new…it feels so right to be here with you.”

“How did you—?” 

Blaine smiled at him. “Pick another song.” 

“Your cares and troubles are gone. They'll be no more from now on.”

His mouth opens slightly. 

“Your turn,” Blaine said, “ I want you to sing what comes to mind.” 

Wasn’t the best way to prove they were soulmates to test each other? 

Blaine wanted Kurt to have his own moment of realization even if he engineered it. He didn’t want their “how-did-you-know” story to be him informing Kurt about their connection. Instead, he wanted to tell people about listening to Kurt’s Warbler audition and thinking how odd it was to know the song he was going to sing before it began. Kurt’s story would start with a laugh because he imagined someone other than Blaine as his soulmate the very same day. 

And wasn’t that just so silly of him? 

Rather than have Kurt just sing to him, Blaine harmonized with him. This was the proof. He’d sing everything Kurt could come up with and vice versa. 

“But baby, can't you see there's nothing else for me to do? I'm hopelessly devoted to you.”

“Blaine,” Kurt said. “We’re….”

He nodded. 

Before Blaine even realized it, Kurt was out of his seat leaning towards him, they’re kissing. Kurt’s fingers are curved around his chin and his other hand is tickling the curls at the back of his neck. The tiny wisps of hair that always escape the gel by the late afternoon. 

Blaine would happily keep his curls loose if it meant Kurt would keep his hands in his hair always. Especially, if it meant they’d never stop kissing. 

Eventually, Kurt has to pull away. They’re still close enough to feel each other’s breath. 

“Soulmates,” Blaine whispered. 

It had been quiet while they kissed like everything else in the world just stopped. All the sounds of Dalton came rushing back all at once. The students in the halls, coffee orders being called out, and the shuffling of chairs as people came and went. 

“When did you know?” Kurt asked, sitting down again. 

Blaine pulled his seat around so they were closer and Kurt immediately reached for his hand. 

***

3 months later. 

Blaine hadn’t been upset to lose to McKinley at Regionals. How could he have been when he got to sing with his soulmate in front of a crowd? Their duet was so in sync and the crowd could tell. He doesn’t think he ever received such a loud applause. 

Blaine had wanted to just be in that moment forever—staring into Kurt’s eyes hearing the words in his head just before they were said aloud, gripping his hand before pushing him into the spotlight to soak up the audience’s love. 

No, Blaine was happy about Regionals. The Warblers had worked hard on the set; their second place trophy sat on the right corner of the council’s table at meetings now. What Blaine was concerned about was Kurt’s leaving. 

His dorm room was empty now, the last suitcase zipped up. Blaine was sitting on his boyfriend’s mattress taking in the last moment that Kurt was a Dalton student. 

“I’ll miss you too, you know, a lot,” Kurt said from the doorway. 

“I know,” Blaine replied, “it’s just sad.” 

Kurt took a seat next to him on the bed. 

“I’ll sing to you.” 

Blaine smiled. “Promise?” 

“Everyday.” Kurt kissed his cheek. 

They were going to be okay. 

[myhockeyworld87]

Bubble Wrapped - Part 2

Word Count: 4,247

POV: Reader

Warnings: Language, NSFW, Smut, Please read the note in the Masterlist

Teams: Bruins, Caps, Flyers, Lightning and Pens

Notes:  Ok so here we go with Part 2. I hope you guys enjoy this. I’m trying to add some of the suggestions that I’ve gotten in. Please feel free to send me an idea if you have it and I will try and work it in. Also I would love your feedback on this, as well as tell me what players you want to see. With that Happy Reading!!!

As you made your way down the long hallway to Conference Room three, you realized that you didn’t pack enough flats for these next several weeks. If things were going to happen this fast you definitely needed to ditch the heels for a pair of running shoes instead. You couldn’t imagine what had gone wrong in this short amount of time. By your calculations, the Capitals should be in there now having dinner. The Pens were Conference Room one, two was being cleaned from when the Flyers were in there and then the Lightning would go in, and the Bruins should’ve been long out of three before the Caps even went in. Even though you had everything timed out to the minute with ample time in between, you knew things were bound to go wrong, but you didn’t expect to see your conference room in complete shambles.

“What the hell is going on?” you asked Alexis as you took in the room. Food was thrown everywhere. It was on the walls, on the floor, and on the plexiglass where your servers stood; it was even on the players, even though there were only a few of them in the room itself at the moment.

“Well, you see those guys there,” Alexis pointed to a table where David Pastrnak, Brad Marchand, and Charlie Coyle all sat. “They were still eating and I had the room cleaned just like you said, but let them go because the plane was late. I totally thought they’d be done before these guys showed up.” You looked over to where Tom Wilson, TJ Oshie, and Jakub Vrana sat, some green vegetable hanging off the shirt of Oshie. “They said it wouldn’t be a problem and I only left for a second, when I came back they were already throwing food at each other.”

“Where’s the rest of the team?”

“I sent them over to Conference Room one since it’d already been cleared out.”

“Alright, go make sure everything is fine with everyone else and I’ll handle this.” Alexis scurried out of the room, as you surveyed the damage. “Alright which one of you guys started this?” They all acted like you hadn’t said a word. It was seriously like dealing with a bunch of kindergarteners. You walked over to the Bruins table first. “It’s a little ironic is it not, that they call you Pasta?” you said picking noodles off of David Pastrnak, his shoulders shook as he tried to contain his laughter. Maybe you’d have luck with the Caps players. “What about you? You guys have anything to say?” When no one said anything, you had no choice but to say. “Look you know I can go to the league with this and you guys can be sent home.” While it was true that you could do this, you doubted a little good fight was going to get anyone sent back. “But I don’t want to do this, we’re only a few hours into this...guys, can’t we try and make this work?” They seemed to mull this over yet still no one said a word. “Fine, you and you,” you said pointing the Wilson and Pastrnak. “Come with me. The rest of you have five minutes to get to your rooms.”

“Why us?” Pasta asked.

“It’s obvious, you two started it.” They both seemed taken back by the statement, so you explained further. “You both have more food on you than anyone else.”

“Well, she’s not wrong,” Oshie muttered and you were barely able to contain the laughter that bubbled inside you.

“Now, I suggest you get going as your down to four minutes.”

“But I haven’t even got to eat yet,” Vrana whined.

“Call room service.” You then told a few of the staff to clean up the mess and close off the conference room until the morning, then turned to the two culprits that were picking food off themselves to the side. “Come with me.” They turned and followed you up to your suite, which had basically become your makeshift office. Once you were inside, you turned to both of them. “Now, tell me what this is about?”

“No way you have a pool table,” Wilson stated. God, men could be so simple-minded at times. They got so easily distracted.

“Yes, Tom, it’s a pool table. Now can we focus on the matter at hand?”

“I’ll play you? Whoever wins has to follow through with the bet.” Pasta immediately said, as if you weren’t even in the room.

You stuck your thumb and index finger in your mouth, squealing out a high-pitched whistle for the boys’ attention. They both turned in your direction then. “Now that I have your attention. You’re not here to play pool. You’re here to tell me what the hell happened in my conference room and how it will never happen again.”

“You know you’re even hotter when you’re angry.” All you could do was roll your eyes and cross your arms, at Wilson’s comment. He must have noticed your impatience, for he finally added. “Look it’s a stupid bet we had last season, that he didn’t follow through on when he lost, that’s what started the food fight.”

“I didn’t lose.” Pasta insisted. “I won, and you know it.”

“You did not.”

“Woah, stop!” You hollered as the two started to bicker back and forth. “Are you saying this can all be settled with a game of pool?”

“Yeah!” They both answered simultaneously.

“Perfect, then have at it.” You motioned to the pool table and Pasta headed in the direction only to be stopped by Tom’s arm.

“So, what’s in it for us?” He asked.

“I’m sorry what? I’m giving you the opportunity to solve your damn problem.” You fairly spat the words at him.

“Yeah, but you’re also getting something out of this. I’m just thinking that we could all get a little something out of this.” He looked over at Pasta, who seemed to catch on to his meaning.

“What exactly do you want? It’s not like I have a ton to offer, and don’t forget I can still turn you both into the league.”

“Nothing major, just a little kiss.” Why you were surprised when Tom suggested that, you weren’t entirely sure. Let’s face it, you knew they were stuck in this bubble without female companionship. Hell, you were in the same situation, well maybe not the same since you were surrounded by a bunch of hot NHLers. You just didn’t expect this so early in their quarantine here.

“Fine, but after this stupid bet is settled.” They nodded their agreement, then headed over to the pool table. You barely paid attention to the game, texting Alexis to make sure everything was running smoothly downstairs; which it was. It seemed that Pasta was stripes and Wilson was solids, and it definitely seemed like Pasta had the upper hand. When you finally gave your full attention over to the game, you couldn’t help but notice when Tom leaned over the table how nice his ass was. Both men were well-toned and muscular in all the right places and you knew it wouldn’t be a hardship kissing either of them or anything else for that matter. When David stretched out to make a shot, you noticed his tattoos and your fingers itched to trace them. To say you were getting hot and bothered by these two men was an understatement.

The game started to get intense as fewer and fewer balls were on the table. Pasta missed his shot, turning it over to Tom; who literally started to run the table. It was as if he couldn’t miss. Finally, he was down to just the eight ball. If he made the shot, he would win and the game would be over. He took a deep breath, the action making you take notice of how his shirt strained against the muscles of his chest. Lining the cue up, he took the shot, and the black ball sunk into the pocket just like he had called. A bark of laughter left Tom’s lips. “I told you I was the winner before. Pay up Pasta.”

You had to admit, you were curious how much money was on the line that would cause all this trouble. David, for his part, just shook his head and pulled out his phone. It must be a huge sum if he had to transfer it from his bank account. “What do you want me to tweet?”

“I’m sorry did you just say tweet, as in Twitter?”

“Yeah,” Tom said looking at you as if you were the one that was out of your mind and not him. This whole damn mess was over a stupid Twitter message. You literally wanted to scream, but instead, you just listened as Tom told David what to say. “All it has to say is, ‘In my opinion, Tom Wilson is the best goal scorer in the league.’”

“Done,” Pasta announced shoving the phone in Wilson’s face. You had to lean over Tom’s shoulder so that you could see it as well, for you still couldn’t believe your entire conference room was in shambles over something so juvenile.

“Well, now that, that’s settled boys, I assume I won’t have any more problems from the two of you in my hotel.”

“Oh, you still have your part of this bargain,” Tom said, gliding the back of his finger down your arm. You suppressed the shiver the sensation gave you.

“Alright, who’s first then.” You were never one to back down from a bet and this was no exception.

“By all means,” Tom motioned for Pasta to go first.

David took a step toward you, wrapping a strong arm around your waist as he pulled you close to him. Your hand pressed against the rock-hard muscles of his chest before making its way to the back of his neck. He brushed a lock of hair from your face, then placed his hand gently on your cheek to caress it before his lips came down on yours. The kiss was gentle, yet firm at the same time and you opened tentatively so that he could slide his tongue into your mouth. His hand which rested at your back pulled you in closer and you went willingly. You had a feeling if Tom wasn’t watching this would turn into something more than just a kiss. But Tom was watching and waiting, and you weren’t willing to give David anything more with an audience. So you gently broke away, allowing him to chase your lips with a few last kisses.

“You may have won the little pool match Wilson, but I doubt you’ll win anything more with this one here.” Why did everything have to be a competition?

You turned toward Tom, fully expecting him to take you in his arms and kiss you senseless. Instead, he grabbed you around the waist only to whisper low in your ear. “Another time princess, maybe when we don’t have eyes on us.” He released you then but then turned back. “I will be back for that kiss you owe me.”  With that the two left your suite, leaving you a bit dazed and breathless, and longing for that kiss as well.

Shaking yourself, you brought yourself back to the present and what needed to be done at the hotel, instead of daydreaming of what kissing Tom Wilson would be like. A quick call to Alexis told you that all the players had eaten but there were still a few milling about in each of their designated workout areas. You slipped out of your business attire and opted for a comfy pair of leggings with an oversized shirt to make one more round through the hotel before calling it a night.

You ran into Carly in the lobby. “So how’d everything go on your end? Any outlandish requests for something to be brought in?”

“Not so far. I think the Pens want some extra gym equipment, but I’ve got it covered.”

“I knew I put the right woman in charge.”

“Speaking of being in charge? What the hell happened with Conference Room 3?” You rolled your eyes.

“Food fight.”

“Oh, I heard that. I also heard you took two of them to your room?” she wiggled her eyebrows at you suggestively before elbowing you in the ribs.

“Had to get everything straightened out.”

“And…”

“And maybe, I might have kissed one of them.” She gave you a mocked look of shock.

“Nothing else?”

“Not at the moment, though I do owe the other one something, and let me tell you I won’t mind paying off that debt at all.” Just the thought of Tom holding you had you hot and bothered. “And on that note, I’m going to finish up down here before calling it a night. I think Tim has the night shift tonight if anyone needs anything.”

“Yeah, he does. He’s back in the office, making sure things are ready for breakfast. I just told him I was done for the night. I’m heading off to bed, don’t have too much fun down here.”

“Me, what about you, Car? There’s not some hot NHLer waiting in your room?” She headed for the elevators but turned back to answer you.

“Not tonight, but tomorrow could be a whole other story.” With that, she was gone as the elevator doors slid open and shut again.

You headed off to make sure the conference rooms were fine. When you noted that everything was in place, you went to check on the workout rooms. They were supposed to be cleaned periodically throughout the day, but with being open twenty-four seven; you wanted to make sure housekeeping wasn’t slacking. A quick walk past the Capitals and Pens rooms showed that no one was in there and they were spotless. As you went into the Flyers' workout facility, you could see someone inside. You tried to cough discreetly as to not scare them, but they didn’t hear you. The room had a few mirrors around it, but he happened to not be looking in any of them as he was doing squats with some free weights. He had his shirt off and a tight pair of shorts on, that let you see every muscle as he crouched down working on his quads and other various leg muscles. A few droplets of sweat had formed on his body and you itched to dry them off for him. Your mouth went dry the longer you stared at him as you were trying to make out the tattoo on his arm. It was at that moment that he caught you staring, a knowing smiling crossing his face. “Sorry…” you stuttered out after being caught red-handed.

“I’m not.” He dropped the weight down on the bench beside where he was working out before grabbing a towel and wiping off the sweat on his body. “Did you come to use the equipment or did something else bring you here?”

“Something else,” you realized the mistake as soon as the words left your mouth. “I mean…I was…” In a few short steps, he was standing in front of you and suddenly you couldn’t quite remember why you were there.

“Something else works for me.” He leaned his hand against the wall behind your head; his body so close you could feel the heat coming off of it.

Taking a deep breath, you tried to compose yourself, as you didn’t need this man to get under your skin as much as he was. “I was just making sure everything was fine in this room. I didn’t mean to disrupt your workout. I’ll let you get back to it.”

You made a move to back out the door when he grabbed your hand. There was an electricity in his touch and had you both looking down to where his hand touched your body. “Don’t go…I mean, I was done…” It was nice to see he was just as flustered as you were for a moment. It put you both on an even playing ground after you’d been caught staring at him. “I’m Travis by the way, most people call me TK.”

“I know.” You replied, before adding. “Konecny from the Flyers.”

“Well, now you have me at a disadvantage.”

“I’m (Y/N). I manage the hotel.” You said almost extending your hand to shake his and then realizing that wasn’t acceptable at the moment.

“Oh, so you’re the one in my little handbook to call if I have any problems.”

“That’s me. Here to help you in any way I can.” You let the innuendo hang in the air a bit and you saw its meaning wasn’t lost on him.

“So if I told you there was a problem in my room, would you send maintenance to come look at it or would you do a thorough inspection yourself?” Oh, he was smooth, you had to admit that.

“Well, it wouldn’t make sense to call maintenance when I’m right here, now would it?”

A raise of his eyebrows was your answer back before he went over and grabbed his shirt and belongings. “Then I think we should definitely go check out that problem.” His hand went to the small of your back as he led you out of the room and to the elevators. “I’m in room…”

“Five-twenty,” you supplied.

“Should I feel special that you know that?”

“Do you want the honest answer?” He shook his head yes. “No, it’s my job to know who’s in what room. In case you haven’t noticed this whole thing is kind of a big deal. I have all my I’s dotted and my T’s crossed.”

“So you know every guys' room number here?”

“It sounds a little pathetic when you put it that way.” Maybe pathetic wasn’t the right word, but desperate was one you didn’t want to use.

“No, I’m actually impressed.” He tilted his head looking over at you as you pressed the number five in the elevator. “So if I asked you what room Brad Marchand was in you’d say?”

“That I can’t tell you that, but it’s in the teens and about three floors up from you.” He chuckled softly and you realized you liked the sound of his laugh.

The two of you walked in silence the rest of the way to his room. Thankfully, there weren’t any players milling about in the hallway. “This me.” He said when you were in front of his door. He fumbled with the key, then opened it.

“What seems to be the problem? TV not working? View not to your liking?” You teased and he caught on quickly.

“Actually, it’s the mattress. I swore I heard it squeak earlier.” He tossed his t-shirt and keys on the dresser.

You moved to the bed, pressing on the mattress. “Hmm, seems fine now.”

He grabbed at your waist then, pressing you close to his body. “But see, I’m a very active sleeper. You can’t get the full effect unless you’re on the bed.” He tossed you back onto the mattress and a giggle escaped your lips. Travis crawled on the mattress then, stalking his way up your body. “Didn’t seem to do it then either. I think we’re going to have to give it a thorough workout.”

“But of course, I mean I want you to be completely satisfied with our hotel service.” A half-smile appeared on his face for a split second before his lips were crashing down on yours. His lips were soft yet sure, and you opened immediately for him; his tongue sweeping inside to tangle with yours. He was a good kisser, that was your first thought, and you wouldn’t mind just doing this all night. But then he was pressing his hips into your body and realized you wanted more. Your hands glided up his back, feeling his slightly damp skin from his workout.

He finally broke the kiss, both of you needing air. His hands gathered your shirt, but then he stopped himself. “Can I?” You moaned out a yes, wanting as little clothing between your bodies as possible and he hauled you up so he could take the oversized shirt off. “This is pretty.” He commented, while lightly tracing the lace of your bra. “I think I’d like it better off though.” Travis hands worked around to your back unclasping your bra and toss it to the side. “Fuck, these are perfect,” he breathed out as he drank in the sight of your breasts. His mouth was on them then, taking a peaked nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. A moan left your mouth and you could feel yourself growing wet as he continued to lavish your breasts.

Snaking your hands around his neck, you drew him back down onto the mattress with you. He rolled you both onto your sides, his mouth coming back to yours so he could kiss you again. Neither of you was in a rush, as your hands ghosted along his chest and his played with your nipples. Time sort of stood still, as the two of you just laid there kissing slow and sensually. After a while, Travis pushed you back against the mattress, your legs on either side of his waist. He flexed his hips into your clothed core and you felt a rush of wetness between your spread legs. He continued to roll his hips into you, as his mouth alternated between your breasts. You lay there panting and moaning with each flex. “TK…” you finally breathed out. “Stop teasing.”

“Oh baby, you haven’t seen me tease yet.” As if to prove his words, he sat back on his legs and started to remove your leggings. He only rolled them halfway past your hips, then brought the waistband up before snapping it back down on your core. Heated flooded you there and the moan that left your mouth was almost obscene. “You like that?” and he repeated it one more time before stripping of you of both your panties and legging. “Fuck yeah you do. You’re soaking.” He didn’t have to even touch you to see how wet you were. He wasted no time, inserting two of his fingers in you as his mouth sucked on your clit. You about came off the bed. He continued to work his fingers in and out of your body as his tongue made kitten licks on your nub. You could feel your body tingle as the orgasm started to build. It hovered there, just beyond your reach and you threaded your hands in TK’s hair urging him on; only to have him stop.

“Travis…” you whined out.

His eyebrows shot up. “That’s teasing babe.”  You groaned in frustration as his fingers left your pussy. “Don’t worry, I’ll make it better in a sec.” He pushed his shorts down his hips, then kicked them off. His mouth coming up to cover yours and you could taste yourself on his lips. With one smooth glide forward, his cock pushed into you; your hips rising up to meet him. “Fuck you feel good.” He moaned out, then started to pump in and out of your body. It was a slow pace at first as he was building up a rhythm for the both of you to follow. “Yeah babe, that’s it.” He praised as you met each of his thrusts. The combination of his teasing beforehand and steady pace, had you back on the edge in no time. Travis leaned in close to your body, your faces merely inches away. “Come on baby…I know you’re close….” He sped up then, his cock hitting that sweet spot perfectly. “That’s it.” You went to scream as a wave of pleasure washed over your body, but he captured your mouth swallowing the sound down as he came with you. He pumped inside you a few times, just reveling in the feel of your pussy clenching around him, before breaking the kiss so you both could breathe. When he was finally spent, he collapsed onto his side, rolling you with him. “That was…”

“Mmm, I agree.” You whispered back. “Though I don’t think your mattress has any problems.”

He laughed and you felt the vibrations in your body, as he held you close to him. “Who could tell with all your moaning.” He teased back then flicked your nose.

“Me? I wasn’t the only one.”

He shrugged a shoulder as if he didn’t want to admit he was just as loud as you. “Hope the walls are thick here.”

“They’re decent, just don’t give me away if Hart asks you any questions in the morning.”

He laughed out a, “never.” You pecked him on the lips, then started to get out of bed. “Where are you going?”

“I’ve got things to do.”

“Things or other people?” You couldn’t quite tell if he was teasing or jealous.

“Things… but you have my number if the mattress suddenly starts squeaking again.” You gave him a wink as you shimmied on your leggings and threw on your shirt.

He grabbed your hand and brought you down so your face was inches from him. “I have a feeling it may act up again.” His lips were on yours kissing you hard and fast.

“I’ll be waiting for your call.” With that you headed out the door, quietly shutting it before walking down to the elevator. Well, day one was definitely interesting. You couldn’t wait to see what day number two would bring.

[weepingvoidpenguin]

The Gods’ Blessing (Pt. 3)

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 4 , Part 5

Summary: In your world, everyone had a soulmate. That’s just how things went. Everyone had some sort of Indicator that their other half was out there, be it telepathy or a red string that connected these two strangers. Yours was one unspoken of, in fact, you’d never heard anyone say that they had the same Indicator as you. And because of this rarity, you longed to meet the person who could gift you with what you lacked, maybe not so much so to be with the person but more so to finally see what others took for granted. Yet, you held onto the hope that one of your best friends was your Meant-To-Be but he has his eyes on another girls and the little green monster slowly engulfs you at the deterioration of your hope.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5,129

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry for the long wait!! I’ve literally been sick for a week straight and the few days after I’ve had a pestering cough and I’ve been so busy I just haven’t had a moment to sit down and focus so I’m sorry if this is trash. I just wanted to get something out without making the chapter too long because if I had kept going it would’ve been upwards of 8k so I’m saving the rest for the next chapter. 

  “No,” he said, pulling the mask back down over his chin.

  “No?” You asked incredulously, eyebrows furrowed at his decision, “Why?”

  He turned around and started walking towards the edge of the roof, “I just don’t think it’d be a good idea.” He shrugged his shoulders.

  You scoffed, almost disbelieving that this was actually happening, “But you’re my soulmate, I’m supposed to know who you really are,”

�� You took three long glides towards him and reached for the hem of his mask, momentarily not caring that he didn’t want to share his identity with you. He reached out of your grasp and spun to the side.

  “(Y/N), listen, I’m just not ready for you to know who I am yet,” he said, keeping a distance in case you tried to pry his mask off again.

  “You’re not ready?” You took a step back and turned away from him, walking back towards your fire escape, “So you can kiss so passionately that the stars align, literally, but you won’t tell me who you are? You want to keep this strictly between me and Spider-Man? Not whoever the hell you really are?” You snapped.

  Before, you hadn’t cared who your soulmate had been, you just wanted to see the stars that everyone else could see. But now that you finally met him, it was different. It was as though he were your source of light, that he was providing you the stars, and now he didn’t even want to tell you who he really was. You rolled your eyes and threw one leg over the side of the roof, making sure your foot was sturdy against the ladder and began to descend, not wanting to hear any of his excuses.

  He knew who you really were, wasn’t it only fair that you knew who he was?

  “(Y/N), wait!” He called, grabbing your hand that was still gripping onto the edge.

  “What?” You asked, glaring up at him but then looked away because even though you couldn’t see his face, it hurt to look at him.

  “Please, you have to believe there’s good reason,” he tried to elaborate but you held up the hand he was gripping to silence him.

  “Unless you’re gonna tell me what the reasons are, I’m done with this conversation,” You could feel the knot in your throat forming and you wanted to leave before it prohibited you from speaking.

  Spider-Man stood there, obviously chewing on his lip through his mask, but he remained silent. You looked him up and down, looked at all the places you wanted to touch and hold against you, all the places you wanted to kiss and explore and in that moment of observing him you felt your heart twinge, knowing that despite having kissed and literally feeling like the universe aligned for the both of you, he wasn’t yours. He wouldn’t be until he was honest with you, until he wanted you to know not just Spider-Man but his true self. You couldn’t have a night time relationship with someone.

  You wanted someone you could bring to movie night with your group of friends. Someone who you could introduce to your Mom. Someone that you could bring around Peter Parker so you could finally not feel the ache you always did whenever you saw him with Liz. Someone you could study with and learn with and grow with. But if you were being constricted to just night time Spider-Man and not allowed day time true identity, then you didn’t want that. You wanted him and all of him.

  And he wasn’t willing to give it to you.

  “That’s what I thought,” you said and descended down the ladder one step at a time until you reached the metal floor and hopped off.

  A loud thud landed next to you, rattling the fire escape and you gripped onto the railing to balance yourself.

  “Wait!” He held up his hands, stopping you in your tracks.

  You crossed your arms over your chest to prevent from reaching out to him, “Please, move,” you begged, the knot in your throat now becoming painful.

  You could see him open his mouth through his mask but no sounds came out and how you wished he had something, anything to say to make it all better. But he didn’t so he stepped aside and you made your way down to your window before hopping into your room and locking it behind you.

~

  The next morning you nearly slept through your alarm and ended up missing breakfast, as in you didn’t have time to grab a granola bar for the ride to school, and almost forgot your phone on the nightstand. You flew through the door and locked up behind yourself, knowing that no matter how late you were it was better than leaving your house unlocked.

  “So how was your date with Brad?” MJ asked once you plopped down at the lunch table. She had asked you earlier in the day and yesterday but you weren’t up for much talking so you promised you’d inform her at lunch.

  “Give me those details,” Ned joked.

  You avoided looking anyone in the eye and shrugged your shoulders, “It was okay,”

  “Just okay?” MJ asked with a quirked eyebrow.

  You nodded, wondering whether or not you were going to see Spider-Man again. That’s what had been consuming your mind all day. Whether or not you’d allow him to wretch your heart some more to spend time with him or if you were going to cut him off completely until he was ready to tell you who he was. But you knew you weren’t capable of doing that, your entire being yearned for him and leaving him yesterday night had been so difficult. It went against everything your body craved and plead for. It felt like you had ripped the strings right out of your heart and the only way to heal was to hold him. You knew it sounded dumb and cheesy but it truly was heart-wrenching to pull away from him, it took all the strength you had.

  And despite all of the pain and desire and yearning, you weren’t sure if it was requited. It was as though he had no real problem saying good-bye. You didn’t want to know who he was to expose him, you wanted to know so you could be with him. The real him. But it seemed like he hadn’t even considered telling you, like he wanted this secret between the two of you to continue.

  So when MJ asked if you would go on another date with Brad you nodded.

  “Possibly,” you said, “I mean, he really was a gentleman and I didn’t have a bad time,”

  “Why go on a date with him if you don’t even like him?” Peter asked, finally looking up from his twiddling thumbs.

  Everyone turned to you, waiting for an answer, “He’s . . . he’s a good distraction,” you admitted not elaborating.

  MJ squeezed your thigh, thinking you were talking about Peter and in a way you had been. Despite yearning for Spider-Man, you could feel the same present pull for Peter you always felt and it had confused you. You thought that once you met your Soulmate, your desire for anyone else diminished and your longing for them was gone. But it hadn’t disappeared, only intensified.

  You could barely look up at Peter and how his fingers intertwined with Liz’s. The familiar knot formed in your throat and you cleared it in an attempt to fight the intrusion. You trailed their hands up Peter’s arm and observed how his eyes and cheeks appeared sunken and how intense the dark circles were. It looked like he hadn’t slept at all last night.

  He kept his eyes down when you answered his question and Liz threw her arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer to her before twisting his hair in her fingers. He sighed and closed his eyes, inviting the comfort she offered.

  The knot in your throat evolved into a pit in your stomach and you leaned up against MJ, more disturbed than ever with Peter and Liz being together. It just hadn’t felt right to you. Seeing them together. It never felt right but before you could just ignore them and shove down your feelings. Now they were more intense, more demanding of your attention. They sat at the base of your stomach and moved through your chest, grabbing hold of your body and consuming it in unease.

  The sick sensations controlling you had diminished the joy you’d felt earlier. You woke up this morning and noticed that everything was brighter. Everything that had been slightly dulled before now shown with a vibrancy that took your breath away. You had been walking around all day with your eyes wide open, indulging in the wonderous new intensities of the world around you. At one point, you’d asked MJ if she’d always been that pretty.

  And as much as you wanted to take everything in, the distress in your mind prohibited any of that.

  “He messaged me yesterday,” you said, remembering the text Brad sent you that you had been too preoccupied to respond to.

  “He did?” Peter’s head shot up, his loose curls now in his face.

  You nodded, “Yeah, he asked if I wanted to go see a new movie that was coming out this weekend,”

  MJ wiggled her eyebrows at you, “Those are the details I’m looking for. Looks like things between you two are getting serious,” she teased.

  For the first time that day you smiled, “Stop. It’s just a movie, besides we had agreed to go see it together,”

  “We still can.” She motioned towards everyone, “We can make it a group date,” MJ looked around the table for everyone’s approval and everyone seemed on board.

  “Then it’s a date,” MJ stated, motioning you to pull out your phone and let Brad know.

  You hesitantly messaged Brad about the group date and he instantly responded, saying he didn’t mind and that it sounded like a good idea. So the date was set, this Friday after school you’d all head to the theater.

  “Hey (Y/N),” Peter called for you and he couldn’t help but notice this was the second day in a row you’d tried dodging him.

  You kept going, only minimally slowing your pace so he could catch up, “What’s up?” You asked once he’d took his place beside you.

  “I just wanted to know if you were okay,” he asked, his eyes glued to his feet as you travelled through the hallway.

  “I’m fine,” you lied and a sting in your chest from being so close yet so far from Peter caused you to take a deep breath and compose yourself.

  He eyed you up and down, nervously chewing on his lip as he watched you. “How about we have a movie night tonight. Just me and you? Like we used to in Freshman year?”

  Your heart jumped at the idea and you turned to face him, “You sure?” You asked, walking through the door to your classroom, “Won’t Liz be upset?”

  Peter scoffed and his features brightened a bit, “We’ve been best friends longer than I’ve known her,” he said and took his seat next to you, “I’m sure she won’t mind,”

  Your smile reached your eyes and you nodded, “Okay, we can walk to my place after school,”

~

  “And what about this one?” Peter asked, holding up an old picture of you as a toddler.

  “It was my birthday,” you explained, letting him look at the photo in his hands.

  “Cute.” He chuckled, noting the frosting on your nose and how your tongue stuck out to try and lick it off.

  “This one’s my favorite,” you said, reaching up to carefully pry the picture off the wall. You had the photo to Peter and watched as his eyes scanned over the four goofy faces chosen for the camera. “We had gone to our first Decathalon tournament that day,”

  Peter trudged around the room and propped himself on your bed, “I remember,” he said, not taking his eyes off his dearest friends, “We were so nervous,”

  You nodded and sat next to him, “If only we knew we’d make second place,”

  “I miss those days,” he murmured and you giggled.

  “We’re still in those days,” you countered and grabbed the bowl of popcorn off your nightstand before offering him some, “We just can’t let them pass by so quickly,”

  He placed the photo back in its original spot on the wall and took his spot next to you on your bed before deciding what movie to watch. You sat together with the bowl of popcorn placed respectfully between the both of you and watched in peace.

  It’d been nearly months since you hung out with Peter alone. He’d been too preoccupied with the Stark internship to really spend time with anyone really, and it’d started to take a toll on you. Your weekly movie nights had been postponed so often that it’d just been you and MJ for a few weeks straight but she insisted on keeping it going less it die out altogether. So whenever Peter managed to spare some time for the simple folk, you’d relished in it. You’d ask over and over about the internship and if he liked it or learned anything new from it. Of course, he was always reluctant when answering but you didn’t mind the somewhat curt responses because each question elicited a new gleam in his eyes that you admired with vigor.

  “What are you looking at?” Peter asked once he’d noticed you’d stopped watching the film.

  “I’ve just missed you,” Jesus Christ. The heat to your face could not have come more quickly and you stammered in your embarrassment, “I-I mean, I miss hanging out w-with you. Not that I miss you- miss you. Well, I mean I do miss you but-”

  Peter’s amused smile grew with your stuttering and he chuckled, “It’s fine, (Y/N), I know what you meant,”

  No, you don’t, you thought.

  You rested against your headboard and grabbed some popcorn just to be doing something with your hands. Peter continued to watch you though and the words he wanted to say danced on the tip of his lips, moving fiercely to get passed his tongue.

  “So,” he started, once the urge overcame him, “how have you been recently?”

  You cocked your head to the side a little at the question but faced him all the same, “I’ve been okay,” you hesitated, not knowing what all you should tell him, “just lost somewhere in my better judgement,”

  He raised his eyebrows, urging you to go on.

  You sighed, “It’s just- it’s complicated.” You grabbed a mouthful of popcorn to stall.

  “Complicated in what way?” he asked, leaning in as if to avoid straining his ears.

  You crinkled your nose and stood up, beckoning Peter to follow as you went out onto your fire escape, your thick blanket in tow. You spread it out and folded it to add more cushion before sitting down and tapping the barren spot beside you. He sat down, a little closer than you two had been before, and watched you as you watched the setting sun and looked up towards the sky.

  “I just wanna hang out here, okay?”

  He nodded, not questioning your sudden desire for a change of scenery. “You okay?

  You nodded, not noticing how he watched you search the night sky for the boy in red and blue. “I feel torn,”

  “Between?” He asked, scooting closer to you.

  You pried your eyes from the slithering galaxies above you and looked at Peter, something who, despite the sky’s beauty and call, you’d prefer to look at. You smiled at him, loving how his chocolate brown eyes observed you and how his lips parted ever so slightly whenever he waited eagerly.

  “Between two guys,”

  Peter lurched back slightly with a sudden shake of his head and his eyebrows furrowed together, “What?” He asked, a tinge of hidden pain in his words, “Who?”

  You chewed the inside of your cheek and stared down at your feet, “There’s this one guy that I’ve liked for a long time and then there’s this other guy that I’m 99% sure is my soulmate,”

  “99%?” His tone peaked up.

  “I know it sounds ridiculous but MJ always told me that once you meet your soulmate you lose all attraction for anyone else,” you started, admiring the single curl that fell onto his forehead and fighting the desire to twirl it in your fingers, “But-”

  “But?” Peter intensified his look on you and you could swear he was starting to glare.

  “But even after I met that guy I still have feelings for this other guy and I don’t know why it’s happening I just know that it’s going to tear me apart,” you confessed, despising how you still desired to feel Peter’s lips caress your own.

  “Well who’s this guy?” His expression softened a bit but there was a twinge of secrecy hidden.

  “I-I can’t tell you, it’s a secret and even I don’t really kn-” you stopped yourself mid-sentence, wondering how you could explain that you met your soulmate and still have no idea in hell who he is.

  “No, who’s the other guy?” Peter asked.

  “The other guy?” You chirped back, confused as to why he would much prefer to know about, well him, rather than your soulmate.

  Peter leaned back a little and his eyes darted everywhere except for you, “Yeah, well, I mean, there’s gotta be something special about the person that isn’t your soulmate if you still have feelings for them,”

  Your eyes widened and now it was your turn to panic. Who’s the other guy? You couldn’t very well say it was him, especially considering how wrapped around Liz’s finger he is. He would cut you off right then and there, apologizing about how he couldn’t do that to Liz and how he only has eyes for her. So you scrambled up the only logical excuse you could come up with and blurted it out.

  “It’s Brad,” Brad? You thought. You couldn’t have lied about anyone better?

  “Brad?” He repeated after you, as if not believing your words.

  “Yyesss,” you drawled out, trying to convince yourself that was the best route to take, “It’s Brad,”

  “Why?” He asked incredulously.

  “Why what?”

  “Why do you like Brad?”

  “I don’t know!” You suddenly burst, the inner turmoil of having feelings for Peter but knowing that you’ve met your soulmate building up inside of you. “It’s not like I want to like them both, I just do!”

  “Well shouldn’t you only want your soulmate?” He asked.

  You rolled your eyes, hugging yourself, “Yes, Peter, hence why I’m torn,”.

  “But it doesn’t make sense, why would you want anyone but your soulmate? That’s never been how it’s worked. I don’t want anyone but yo-” Peter shut himself up, cursing himself for letting the words slip out so easily.

  “Yeah, I get it. It’s you and Liz against the world, Peter.” You scoffed, feeling your insides beginning to boil, “It’s always been you and Liz!” You shouted, not caring if your neighbors heard because something about those words stung in ways they hadn’t before.

  “When you meet your soulmate it’s like the universe itself has guided you towards each other in that moment and nothing feels more right or perfect than you two. And I have this pulling inside my body to be with him but he can’t even be honest with me! How am I supposed to be with someone who can’t tell me the truth?” You practically yelled, now pacing back and forth on the fire escape.

  Peter winced at your words but bit his tongue and let you continue.

  “And then, there’s yo- uh, I mean, Brad and I cannot get him out of my head. I need him here just as much as I need my soulmate here but that’s not how soulmates work. I’m supposed to meet him and forget that anyone else ever existed! And to top it all off, it feels like neither of them wants me back!” The tips of your fingers burst with heat and the light up above glowed with an intensity you’d never witnessed.

  You peaked up at the sky to search what called your attention and found that the thousands of clear stars that you’d seen for the first time last night glistened with a blinding radiance. You heard the screeching of brakes from cars below and horns going off, warning nearby drivers that they were getting too close. You pulled your hand up and hovered it over your eyes, wishing the light would go away, and just in that instant, it did.

  The sky dimmed back to its usual, but very unusual, magnificence. The balls of gas in the sky providing their proper planets light and warmth had soothed to their ordinary state of existence. You knew that others could not see the sky in the same way you did as you’d never heard anyone describe it to you before and you’d never seen pictures that could compare to what was above you. But you hoped beyond hope that everyone saw what you did.

  Tell her.

  The same voice from last night whispered but it echoed from the buildings surrounding you. You whirled around to find its source but knew you should’ve been looking up as that’s where the calls have been coming from. You didn’t know how you knew, you just knew.

  Peter mumbled under his breath behind you and you looked down at him, “Tell me I’m not crazy and that you saw that too,”

  He nodded, getting up from his place on the floor and holding out his hand before retracting it quickly, “We should go back inside,”

  You nodded before throwing a look over your shoulder at the dazzling sky above and ducked under your windowsill.

~

  Friday came around slower than expected. Not because the days went by slowly but because the nights trudged at their leisure pace. Every night that week you watched out for the friendly neighborhood hero but he was nowhere to be seen and that desire in your chest twisted to pain, causing your tears to be the only thing that kept you company at night.

  Maybe you’d been too hard on him. Maybe he had good reason not to tell you who he was. You should’ve been patient and have waited to hear what he had to offer but you hadn’t given him the chance. You punished yourself every night for leaving things the way they were, making him believe he was unwelcome due to your harsh words. In all honesty, if he had shown up your pride would’ve taken over and you’d have given him a hard time for a while but you’d eventually move on because you’d just be happy that he was there.

  Your lips had been red and swollen by the time Friday night came around from all the biting in anticipation. MJ had followed you home and made you change your perfectly acceptable outfit into something a little more risqué. She hadn’t usually been like this but you were pretty sure she was living vicariously through you since she couldn’t see her significant other very often so you let her play the game her way.

  “Hey!” Ned called you over once he saw you at the entrance of the theater.

  Brad stood beside Ned, Peter and Liz while you and MJ walked up to them. You tried to fight the sinking stones in your stomach but to no avail. Watching Liz fawn over Peter, leaning against him, caused nothing but your unease. You stopped in your tracks as you attempted to regain your breath, hating how watching them together could have such a negative effect on you.

  You grabbed MJ by her elbow and held her in place by your side, “Can we please just go home and watch something on Netflix?” You plead.

  She shook her head, “Had you asked any earlier I would’ve said yes but we’re already here and if Brad sucks that much then-”

  “It’s not Brad,” you interjected and a look of understanding passed over her face.

  Her hands reached out and held both your upper arms, “(Y/N), I get that seeing Peter with Liz is difficult for you, I really do, but maybe tonight will be the first step in getting over him. Maybe being with Brad will help the emotions fade, ya know?”

  You sighed, feeling her words go in one ear and out the other, “I guess,”

  “Listen, if you really feel uncomfortable then we can go, no questions asked. But if you can pull through this and potentially see yourself having a good time, then try,”

  She took your hand in hers and led you towards the group, greeting them all once you had reached them. Brad nervously shifted his weight from one foot to another when you greeted him and he hesitated before pulling you in for a light embrace.

  Normally, you’d have been uncomfortable considering your lack of interest but something about his hold was actually comforting and you hugged him back, appreciating the comfort he offered.

  “What was that for?” You asked after you pulled away.

  “You just looked like you needed it.” He shrugged his shoulders.

~

  “So, what’d you think?” Ned asked upon leaving the theater.

  “Predictable,” You and MJ said in unison then hit shoulders lightly in a teasing manner.

  Sometime throughout the movie you had gripped onto Brad’s hand and though it did nothing for you romantically, it did wonders for you platonically. He had a strange soothing ambiance about him that drew you in and tonight you really needed as much comfort as you could get.

  Peter eyed your intertwined fingers and his grip on Liz’s own hand tightened as he felt his anger build. Ned elbowed Peter lightly when he caught Peter staring at you. Ned motioned to Liz, reminding Peter to calm down around her.

  You pushed the door open and let the cool air engulf you, sending a shiver up your spine. You looked over your shoulder towards Brad and smiled, thankful for the distraction for the night. He had offered a miniscule amount of contentment by making you feel wanted, maybe not by the people you actually wanted those feelings to emit from but the attention was nice anyway. Nice but wrong.

  It could never compare to how perfect it felt to be in Spider-Man’s arms. You couldn’t forget the heat his body emitted and his body pressed against you had made you come to life in ways you didn’t think were possible. You winced at the memory, the tugging that had been lulled by the distraction of the moving pictures now up front and center. Because despite how much you wanted to immerse yourself in all that was Spider-Man, the sensations were quickly preyed upon by the pain it had caused you to pry yourself away.

  Your fingers danced at your side, tapping along your thighs as the memory of the warmth they radiated when you’d touched Spider-Man crawled its way back in. You stopped mid pace and threw your head back, taking in the fresh air and observing your surroundings, hoping to see a figure swing across the sky.

  “Looking for something?” Peter creeped up behind you and you jumped and blushed.

  “Just taking in the scenery.” You motioned to the cloudless sky and counted all the constellations you could remember off the top of your head.

  Peter watched as you observed the stars above you, loving how your eyes sparkled brighter than the endless galaxies ever could. His eyes trailed the curl of your smile before resting on the curve of your lips and he was brought back into the moment where those very lips were pressed against his own.

  He could feel his eyebrow twitch as he resisted the desire, no, the need, to feel them again. He wanted to roll the skin between his teeth, pressing you tight against him like the first time. When the universe had revealed you two to each other. He longed to be back in your arms and to have you back in his. He wanted to feel your breath blow against his cheek, hear the quiet moans you tried to withhold from his ears, he wanted to relive it all.

  It had been hard to stay away from you ever since the revelation but he knew your character; you were stubborn and you wouldn’t take now for an answer. You’d pry his identity out of him until you were disappointed to see the man under the mask. No, he had to stay away from you. To keep this fantasy going for as long as possible. He didn’t want you to pull away once he’d revealed himself. He wanted to tell you everything, practically had to actually, but his fear made him bite his tongue when you turned away from the sky and rested your gaze on his face.

  God, how he loved your smile. It warmed his chest and managed to slightly subside the overbearing want to overwhelm himself with you. With everything about you. From the sparkle in your eyes down to the labyrinth that was your mind. He wanted it all.

  He looked down at the small gap between the two of you and felt his fingers twitch to reach out to yours. You followed his gaze to the empty space and watched as his fingers extended out to yours without every leaving his side. Your heartrate sped up and you could practically hear your blood pump through your ears and you stretched your fingers out to his own.

  “The Little Dipper’s always been my favorite constellation.” Brad emerged from the space between the two of you and you cleared your throat, blinking away the haze of temptation from your eyes.

  You giggled at Brad’s comment and Peter rolled his eyes, blowing the single strand of hair out of his face, “It’s not a constellation,” he murmured.

  Brad furrowed his eyebrows and glared at Peter.

  “It’s an asterism,” you quickly offered, trying to ease Brad’s confusion.

  He nodded and offered you his hand. You peeked over his open palm and glanced at Peter, waiting for who knows what, honestly. Maybe a protest? For him to offer his hand instead? But Peter said nothing, only taking Liz’s hand in his own when she rejoined you so you smiled at Brad despite the twist in your chest and grabbed hold of his hand.

~

Tag List: @the-ducks-umbrella​ @free-pool-trash​ @wherewecomealive​ @eridanuswave @watson-emma @imjuliabtw @powerstrangerdacre @chess-anon @le-yona @dear-selena @becausewelie @myr5heart @michaels-endtime @lastupidebichette @yetmeema @bisexualfangirlsblog @akabaneyuriko @allthings-sandy @foreverpark @courtmarie2016 @maya-t-13 @copxland04 @lostinwonderland314 @theolwebshooter @alainabooks143 @dark-night-sky-99 @shameless-dani @memequeend @chewymoustachio

[dramaworthyofsrk]

Like Passing Notes in Secrecy, pt. 3

Summary: The relationship you and Peter share, as told by the notes that you two pass to each other. Inspired both by the song lyric used for the title and for that moment in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before when Josh says to Lara Jean “still think you’ve never gotten a love letter?” 

Part 1  Part 2  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7

are you still mad at me? 

Peter watches you read the note and put it aside, not bothering to respond. Okay, well that answers that question, he supposes. He decides to try again because he really really would love it if you weren’t mad at him. He sighs and rips another sheet of paper trying again. 

please don’t be mad

i’m really sorry

i really wanted to tell you

That last part gets him a glare and an angry response. 

right but you DIDN’T

but you know now? and i’ll tell you everything

you can fuck off, peter parker

That was the meanest you’ve ever been to him in a note and probably in life too, if he really thinks about it. That seems like a good stopping point for the notes and he waits until class is over to try and speak to you again. You’re fully determined to get out of the classroom before he can say anything to you, but he grabs your wrist before you can exit the room. “I’m really sorry,” Peter pleads with you. 

You turn around to face him and he’s expecting a fiery rage in your eyes but is instead met with unshed tears, “how could you not tell me? I’m-- you’re my best friend.” 

“And you’re mine!” Peter promises. “But I’m really not supposed to tell anyone.” 

“Ned knows,” you sniffle, wiping at your eyes. “And- and MJ,” you add, jaw clenching a little as you say her name. “Is it because--,” 

“No no no no no,” Peter cuts you off before you can even really start the sentence, shaking his head vigorously. “They both figured it out, because they literally saw me. You-- it’s not--,” he sighs, starting his sentence over again for the third time. “I would’ve told you, if I had the choice. I would’ve-- I’d pick you.” 

You both know there’s more he’s saying there, an unspoken comment about the hidden jealousy you’ve always had for MJ. You don’t know if he realizes how much it means to you, how much he means to you, but before you can respond, maybe to tell him, he’s letting go of your wrist and walking out. He’s apologized and now the ball is in your court.

You think about what had happened last night all throughout class, not being able to focus on anything that’s being said. You don’t think May knew about the secret little powwow happening in her nephew’s room or you would assume she would have never let you in. But of course, she opened the door when you knocked, greeted you with that same motherly smile and a hi sweetheart as she always does and then told you Peter was in his room. 

Peter was not. 

MJ and Ned were and you knew you had decided not to show up last time, but you had never thought that they just wouldn’t invite you this time around. “Oh I- I’m sorry, I’ll just,” you pointed over your shoulder in reference to exiting through the same door you had just come in from, trying your hardest to ignore the slightly guilty expressions on their face. 

Before you had a chance to leave though, Peter’s window was sliding in and Spider-Man was entering your best friend’s room. Wait, what? You watched in silent wonder as Spider-Man reached up and pulled off his mask, revealing a face you knew so well. It seemed that Peter was starting to greet the other two current inhabitants of the room, clearly not having noticed your presence until you interrupted him by gasping out, “Peter?” 

His head snapped in your direction and you saw the moment your presence registered in his eyes, followed closely by a muttered, “oh fuck.” 

“That’s nice Peter,” you snapped at him, the lack of surprise at the unmasking on the other two’s faces making it clear that the ‘oh fuck’ was directed solely at you finding out his secret. 

“Wait, wait,” Peter called out, following you through his living room as you made your way back to his front door, no longer interested in spending time with him right now. “I didn’t mean it like that!” 

“Yeah, I don’t care.” You knew you might have been overreacting a little bit, but it was clear that you were the only person currently in that apartment who didn’t know Peter was Spider-Man. Some best friends you were. 

Peter ran up to the door and splayed his hand across it, using his strength so that you couldn’t pull the door open enough to leave (and that certainly clears up how Peter had all of a sudden become so strong), “can you please just hear me out?” 

You ignored his question in favor of glaring at him instead, “Peter Parker, let go of this door before I knee you in the balls and make you let go of this door.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Peter muttered, moving his hand off the door as he knew it wasn’t an idle threat. “Please?” he asked once more, following you out the door and into the hallway. 

You whirled around to face him, “you’re still wearing your onesie, Parker, I suggest you go back inside before someone else you don’t want knowing finds out.” You could tell he couldn’t argue with that point because he immediately went back into his apartment and you just let out a giant sigh, tried your hardest not to be a cliche teenage girl crying herself home, and made your way back to your own place, ignoring every text and phone call from Peter that came in that night. 

You pull yourself out of your memory of the night before when one of your teachers calls on you to answer a question in class. You briefly bullshit some response and then go back to agonizing over what you’re going to say to him, all the way up until you see him again at lunch. “Peter,” you sigh out in relief when he finally gets to the table, barely waiting for him to put his backpack down before you’re dragging him over to the lunchline. 

“I already… have food,” Peter stammers out as you charge ahead towards the food. 

“I think I overreacted,” you say in lieu of a response. 

Peter sighs and shakes his head at you, “no, not really. I’d be super mad if I found out you had a secret and Brad knew but I didn’t.” 

You furrow your brows at his mention of Brad, wondering where the hell that came from. “You really didn’t tell anyone?” It’s not that you don’t believe him, it’s just that you certainly need that reaffirmation from him. 

“I didn’t, I swear I didn’t,” Peter promises, his hand encircling your wrist once more to pull you into a hug. “I’m sorry you didn’t know, but there’s no one else I’d rather have knowing, I swear. Well,” he adds after a second, “maybe Tony because the suit upgrades do really help.” 

You let out a small laugh, pulling away from the hug a little bit to smile at him, “you’re ridiculous Peter Parker.” 

“But you love me,” he teases. 

“Yeah,” you give him a soft smile even though you don’t think he understands just how much you love him, “I really do.”

“That’s good,” Peter responds, pulling you through the rest of the lunch line. “Because I love you too.” 

You nod at him, “that’s nice. You’re still paying for my lunch though.” 

[heartbreakgrill]

That Smile; Luke Hemmings

description: in which you’re a songwriter, working on Youngblood with 5sos, when a certain blonde catches your eyes.

a/n: there will be a part 2 for this!

“AHHHH!” You threw your green mechanical pencil across the room. It bounced off of the wall, snapping in half, and landing in separate places. One ended up by the door by your shoes, the other on the couch, beside your purse, jacket, and water bottle.

A voice crackled through the speaker system, obvious laughter being bitten back. “Y/N, are you okay?”

You squeezed your eyes shut, hands in fists on either of your temples. You were on the floor, on your back, skinny jean clad legs sprawled out in front of you. Your t-shirt was ridden up on your stomach, revealing a thin strip of your skin to the room, which you were now realizing was freezing. Through welling goosebumps, you grumbled, “I’m never okay, Brad. You know this.”

“I had to check. We have legal obligations in the workplace,” he responded, this time chuckling throughout his spiel.

“Damn, OSHA,” you mumbled into your bottom lip.

Brad hesitated before his voice echoed back in, “They’re here, by the way. Making their way back now.”

“I’m not getting up yet. I’m still moping over my inability to properly write a single-“ your voice rose into a yell now, “fucking line about a stupid fucking boy!”

It was now that you realized the door to the studio was open with the head of receptionist Cindy in the room. “Is this a bad time?”

“I get paid to do this, I have no say,” you dropped your hands to your sides. “Let ‘em in.”

The four lanky boys shuffled in, two dressed like it was New York Fashion Week, the other two lazed about in sweatpants and hoodies. They stood awkwardly against the wall, unsure of how to go about greeting someone having a mental breakdown on the ground below them.

“Hello, I’m sorry, I’m trying to recover,” you began to sit up, back cracking in the process. You straightened your shirt out, catching eyes with the tall blonde. You swear, in the most cringey way, your breath caught in your lungs.

“You’re okay, we go through similar processes,” a curly headed, dirty blond remarked, giggling lightly.

“Yeah, I have plenty of photos of Calum laying on the floor like you were,” long fringe, bright eyes. Michael, perhaps?

You had familiarized yourself with photos of them on the internet, but were not at all confident you knew who they were. In fact, you couldn’t recall anyone’s name when the tall blonde who stole your breath offered his hand. You took it, your hand completely encased in his warm one. Without much efforts, he pulled you off the ground, nearly flush against his chest. But, you made sure to step back when you stood.

“Thanks,” you sighed, shuffling to the couch in your sock-clad feet. “Uh, I’m Y/N,” you introduced while clearing the seating area for them, “I’m sorry, I dont really know your names. Could you-?”

“Luke,” he stuck out the same hand for you to shake; you did.

Michael was who you suspected, Calum the jet black haired man Michael had mentioned, and Ashton the giggly one. You situated yourselves on the couches once you demanded they make themselves at home.

“So, this is your third album?” Of course you knew their music. If you were pairing with an artist on a new project, you had to familiarize yourself with their sound. You couldn’t write a Taylor Swift-like song for Lil Uzi Vert.

“Yeah,” Ashton answered, seemingly the spokesperson for the band. He was sat on the couch across from you, with Calum, Michael in the computer chair by the recording equipment. Luke was beside and, damn, did he smell good.

“What’s the motive?” They looked confused at the question, sharing a furrowed look. With a quick tuck of your legs underneath you on the couch, you launched into explanation, eyes moving from boy to boy. “So, you’re first album was very teen punk, kinda edgy, but safe with cute love songs and innocent forever young vibes. Sounds Good, Feels Good was super grunge with ballads about your actual feelings, a few love songs, and a handful of those same forever young vibes. It was, like, healing for you, almost. Like an album meant to truly introduce your fans to who you are. What do you want to say with this one?”

Luke cleared his throat beside you, “I dont know that we really have a vision with this one. We never really do.”

“Gosh,” you laughed, “no wonder they hired you guys a new songwriter. You have to have a plan! Otherwise it takes way too long and you have no idea what you’re doing. You’ve managed to do awesome without me, but this album, I promise, is going to be amazing.”

They, collectively, grinned at you. “I dont know about you, boys, but Ive got fucking chills!” Ashton exclaimed, shoving Calums shoulder, glancing at Michael.

You grinned back, proud with yourself and your words. You looked over at Luke who had a twinkle in his eyes, a smaller smile that seemed reserved for admiration to you.

-

You’d see that smile many times again throughout the process of writing their new album, later titled Youngblood after the first song you wrote together.

Ashton thought you were a bloody genius, as he would say, again and again.

“Its just a simple lyrical progression, Ash,” you coined his nickname a week into the process, “not that big of a deal.”

He still grinned, continuing to flip at your ‘talent’ with the randomest things.

When Youngblood, the song, was completely recorded and produced, you had a listening party in the small recording studio. You’d baked cupcakes and cookies for everyone, Calum had popped some champagne, and Michael brought his girlfriend along for the celebration.

You got along with Crystal well, chattering about makeup, music, and many other things before Brad came into the room with a frog shaped file USB. You stood from the couch beside Crystal and moved to stand beside Luke, who just so happened to be standing in the spot you wanted to. He smiled down at you, bouncing on his heels in excitement.

As Brad set up the file, Luke said, “The cupcakes are really good. As are the cookies, and the song. Everything, really.”

He was nervous around you. He was never nervous around girls. But something about your overwhelming talent, immense beauty, and super sweet personality made him jittery. He held tightly to his paper cup, nearly breaking in from his squeezing knuckles.

“Thank you, Luke,” you set a hand on his shoulder, prepared to say something else when the song began.

You’d heard it prior to this to ensure that it wouldn’t be utter crap. It was amusing and prideful for you to watch everyone’s jaws drops, to see Calum drop onto the couch with his head in his hands. Ashton danced around, Crystal leaned against Michael, praising his guitar and vocal bits. As the beat picked up and, soon, as it ended, Luke turned to you, lifted you in his arms, and spun you around. You were laughing, head thrown back, hands clutching at his hoodie-clad shoulders. When he set you down, you were still laughing, as was he. His laugh faded into that smile, that stupid smile.

-

The next time you saw it was halfway through the album. You had been losing sleep, between handling 5sos as a client and, now, Taylor Swift, who noticed your work through a friend. She wanted a new song, something uplifting and sweet. You agreed to help, not realizing that, now, you were overloaded. And, you weren’t able to devote your time to just 5sos.

One day, at the end of a long studio day, Luke noticed you on the floor of the recoding studio. Youd set yourself there when the boys starting gathering up their things, bidding your farewells with weary hands. Your eyes were no shut, hands resting on your stomach. Luke watched the boys leave and, having driven himself there, sat down beside you. He nudged your leg, gaining your attention through weary eyes.

“Hi,” he smiled, not quite in that way, but still sweetly. “Are you okay?”

“Stressed. Tired. Sick of writing. I haven’t been out with friends in so long and i want to, but all of my friends have normal lives with normal jobs. So they wont go with me during the week, and I cant on the weekends, because Ive been busy with Taylor Swift. God, never thought I’d say that sentence. Anyways, I just really want to get drunk and dance and then cry to someone about being sad, single, and so, so tired.”

“Well,” Luke resisted the urge to pick you up, place you in his lap, cradle you and coo you to sleep, “I’m sure I can urge Ash to have a party in his house. There’s plenty of people who dont care about their jobs or dont even have ‘em.”

You lifted yourself up on to your knees, “I would literally write you, like, an entire song if you got him to do that. I need a night away.”

“No need, I’m fine with one dance reserved for me,” there was the smile. “Oh, and a shot. We have to do a shot together.”

“I would do a million shots with you.”

He walked you to the parking lot, to your car, leaning against the door frame while you turned it on and buckled your seat belt. “Okay, so, Ill send you his address, and see you in a few hours?”

“See you.”

Now, what the hell were you going to wear?

[chikkou]

Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.

yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 

i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!

ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.

in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.

ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 

that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 

i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 

theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.

sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.

buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 

in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 

ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 

[365days365movies]

February 22, 2021: Pillow Talk (1959)(Part 1)

Y’know, I actually do like Doris Day.

She’s funny, she’s talented, and she’s a timeless beauty that I remember very well. TOO well. You guys ever have that one thing that your parents crammed down your throat SO MUCH that you got sick of it? Well, that’s what my Mom did with The Thrill of it All.

Which is, for the record, a cute movie, and one worth watching again at some point. But I’m gonna ease my way into that with Doris Day and Rock Hudson’s first movie, 1959′s Pillow Talk. 

However, while I’m not stranger to Doris Day, I’m afraid that I don’t know too much about Rock Hudson from experience. Well, there is one interesting tidbit about him: Hudson was one of the biggest stars of the ‘50s and ‘60s, and his career continued up until his death in 1985...from AIDS-related complications.

Yeah, Rock Hudson was one of the biggest gay celebrities in Hollywood, although he never publicly came out. However, it was somewhat of an open secret in the community at large, and basically all of his female co-stars know about it. 

And said secret was revealed posthumously, after his tragic death during the height of the AIDS crisis. He was by far one of the most high-profile deaths during this time period, and you’d think that would’ve caused more waves about the AIDS-crisis, considering that he was good friends with...well...another actor.

Yeaaaaaaaaah, not gonna get into Reagan and ALL OF THAT SHIT here. This here is a movie blog, not a political blog! But, uh, yeah, a LOT of fucked-up shit about Reagan and the AIDS crisis, obviously, and part of it was Rock Hudson. So, yeah, it’s something that I wanted to address before we got into this whole shindig.

Because, again, I’ve never seen a Rock Hudson movie, but dude was a pretty huge deal, and this was a part of his life that I felt it unfair not to at least acknowledge. SO, with that out of the way, let’s have a little Pillow Talk. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start with that might be one of my favorite opening sequences so far this month, which you can see above. From there, Jan Morrow (Doris Day) wakes up, humming the theme song from the credits, which is clever, considering that she sang it! Talented lady, seriously.

Jan wakes up and goes to the phone, intending to make a call. However, this is where we get a pretty stark cultural difference, and a needed history lesson for some of us, me included. See, Jan’s phone line is actually a party line, seen through this neat little visual edit.

See, this is what’s called a “party line”. From the 1870s onwards, there was a shortage of available phone lines. By the time you get to the ‘60s, more and more people had personal phones in their households, but without enough lines to go around. And so, some people were forced to share their phone lines with others, hence the party line system!

Here’s the thing, though: if somebody was on the line already, anyone else on that line could hear the conversation of other people. Which is exactly what’s pissing of Jan right now, as she needs to make a call, but the line is being used by her party line partner, songwriter Brad Allen, who’s serenading his girlfriend (?) Eileen (Valerie Allen). Not sure that they’re actually dating, but Eileen definitely wants to.

After Jan’s insistence, they get off the phone, and Jan’s able to begin her busy morning at last. Well...almost. Brad’s now talking to Yvette (Jacqueline Beer), and she wants him to sing HER song to her, which is LITERALLY just the Eileen song with a different name and in French! Which is...hilarious. It’s very funny, not gonna lie.

Once again, Jan tells him to get off the party line, and hangs up angrily. She leaves just as her cleaner woman, Alma (Thelma Ritter) arrives, fresh off of a hangover. Jan goes to try and get a line of her own, and the manager, Mr. Conrad (Hayden Rorke) makes a WEIRDLY sexist comment about jumping to the top of the list if she were pregnant. Which, yeah...weird.

Anyway, Jan, in her frustration, tells Mr. Conrad that she’s hired of sharing the line by a “sex maniac.” Mr. Conrad asks for specifics, and is AGAIN WEIRDLY SEXIST ABOUT IT. He asks if his dalliances with other women disturb her in particular. But yeah, he also says that if he is indeed a “sex maniac,” they may need to disconnect him altogether. Which has...uncomfortable undertones all on its own, but whatever, moving on.

On her way to work, Jan’s friend Jonathan Forbes (Tony Randall) shows up to bring her a STRAIGHT-UP CAR, holy shit! He’s doing so to thank her for decorating his offices (she’s an interior decorator, he’s a car dealership owner, so...fair exchange?). She insists that it’s too personal, which confuses him, as it isn’t perfume or lingerie.

But, uh, dude? IT’S A WHOLE-ASS CAR!!! Look, I’m with her on this one, don’t just give me a fuckin’ car out of the blue! I don’t care what the reason is, tell me that shit first! And Jonathan is CLEARLY trying to make it just a little more personal, if you get my meaning.

Jan finally arrives at her office, owned by Mr. Pierot (Marcel Dalio), and she tells him that an inspector has been sent to look after Mr. Allen. This inspector is Miss Dickenson (Karen Norris), and being of the wimmins, is immediately entranced by the apparently irresistible Mr. Allen, sabotaging any attempt at inspection.

The next morning, the inspector’s report comes through, and Miss Dickinson has of course cleared him of all charges. He calls her, and the two clash in a way that definitely means they’ll never, ever, ever fall in love, no sir, not these two, not a CHANCE IN HELL

They agree to make a schedule for using the phone, and Brad accuses Jan of being jealous of his free-wheeling, bed-hopping lifestyle, which she takes great offese to. But after they hang up, she thinks on the idea of having bedroom problems. Looks like Jonathan wants to fix that, on account of being the THIRSTIEST MAN ALIVE.

Dude has three three ex-wives, all of which were revolts against his mother, for which he’s seeing a psychiatrist.

...CHRIST, the man’s a walking-talking red flag. Jan also says that she doesn’t love him, like...AT THE FUCK ALL, and the man just straight-up says, “How do you know, we’ve never even kissed.” Ai which point, any normal person would see the phantom neckbeard and whip out the fuckin’ bear mace, but Jan just lets him lean in for the goddamn kiss!!!

Jan...standards, Jan. My God. Anyway, she still turns him down, he asks her to get married again, and she leaves. For God’s sakes, man. Anyway, she goes home, where Alma’s listening to Brad serenade a girl over the party line. Jan notes the time, and tells him to get off the line. He calls back, and tells her off.

Brad gets a visitor: his old college friend FUCKIN’ JONATHAN AGAIN. He bemoans being a millionaire (po’ babyyyyy), then reveals that he’s pining over Jan, whom he doesn’t know is the person on the party line with Brad. He hears a good amount of information about Jan from Jonathan.

After the conversation, Brad tries to somewhat reconcile with Jan, but she doesn’t have any interest in doing so. That night, the two have separate affairs. Brad meets up with a woman named Marie, and  serenades her with the same goddamn song from earlier, that suave motherfucker. Dude flips a switch, and the door fuckin’ LOCKS! Jesus, state-of-the-art hook-up tech of 1959.

Meanwhile Jan is attending a dinner held by an extremely client, Mrs. Walters (Lee Patrick). Needing to get home, she has her son Tony (Nick Adams) give her a ride. But on the way home, they stop and WHAT THE FUCK TONY??? I actually can’t find a clip or GIF of this, so I’ll tell you...he is ALL THE FUCK OVER HER, and it’s GROSS. CAN WE PLEASE STOP SEMI-RAPING DORIS DAY? WHAT THE FUCK, IN NO WAY IS WHAT I JUST WATCHED OK, HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Like...wow, that was the most uncomfortable I’ve felt watching a movie in a WHILE. And it’s not even because of the act itself, it’s because of how...OK it feels in the context of the film. Jan is BARELY upset by this slimy little weasely-faced rapey CREEP LITERALLY ASSAULTING HER IN THE FUCKING CAR. And in case you were wondering, yes! This film was written by FOUR MEN.

This is gross. Sorry, but this whole sequence is gross, and it gets even LONGER, because she AGREES TO GO GET A DRINK WITH HIM. WHY, JAN? STOP ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR. He tries to get her drunk (but ends up drunk himself), but she tries to leave. However, who should be sitting one table but Brad, who realizes who this is. Jan tries to leave, but Tony tries to get her to dance with him, AND SHE ONCE AGAIN AGREES, JAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!

And its during this time of distress for Brad that, OF COURSE, he finds himself extremely attracted to her. And since he knows who she is, but she doesn’t know him, he decides to fake his identity. And there we go, we’ve got a creepy-ass one-sided relationship set-up.

Meanwhile, lightweight Tony passes out on the floor, drunk as shit. Brad goes into help, putting on a take Texas accent and calling himself Rex Stetson. And OF FUCKING COURSE, she’s lost in his fuckin’ eyes. Damn those eyes, and his suave bullshit.

They shove Tony into a cab, then take his car, which appears to be too small for Brad, which makes sense, given the fact that Hudson was 6′4″, goddamn! The two take a cab, and the two reveal their mutual attraction to the audience, through their inner thoughts. Looks like all Jan needed for a relationship was handsome-ass Rock Hudson.

In her thoughts, she thinks on how honest and down-to-earth Rex Stetson seems, unlike “monsters” like Tony and Brad Allen. And OF COURSE this is how we get this started. OF GODDAMN COURSE this is how we start this relationship. Liar revealed, LIAR REVEALED, I FUCKIN’ HATE THAT GODDAMN TROPE SO MUCH

Soon after “Rex” takes her home, he goes home herself, and gives her a call, inviting her to dinner the following night. She accepts. Then, in the middle of the call, Brad pretends to pick up the line as himself, in order to set up the two identities as being separate...this is reverse You’ve Got Mail, isn’t it?

Think about it. Two people that hate each other, and they’ve never seen one another, but also love each other after meeting in person. IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF YOU’VE GOT MAIL. Ugh. Fine. Even down to the fact that he has a sizeable advantage over her, due to his full knowledge of the situation. He even tries to use his identity as Brad Allen to set-up their date the next night for success.

And it works, goddamn. A clever yet manipulative asshole, this dude is. They get on a horse and carriage, and we hear the inner thoughts of Jan, Brad, and the dude who owns the horse. And, yeah...it’s funny. The two go to dinner, where Jonathan shortly arrives. Brad gets him out of there with...mildly fatphobic means, but it is the 1950s, so things were just kinda...entirely that.

But in any case, Brad gets away with it, and he and Jan spend a hell of a lot of time together going all around the city. And the whole time, he’s playing the role of “Rex.” Ugh. This is a good halfway point, so let’s go to Part 2 here! See you there!

[imagining-supernatural]

The Work Call

Part 18 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary:  You call your boss to get some work to do in your free time and do a little flirting ;)

Word Count: 2,258

With Sebastian off in Georgia for a week, you felt like a teenager whose parents just left her home for alone for the first time. Suddenly, you could break all of the rules. Not that your rule-breaking was something that would get you in too much trouble…

Since the press seemed to have gotten it through their heads that you were off limits, you finally had your privacy and space back again. As a result, you were taking advantage of the last few weeks of autumn before the snow came. After your hospital appointments, you walked down the street to a cute little café and sat in one of the over-sized, plush chairs for a bit. You’d either bring a book or your laptop.

On Wednesday, the café cat apparently decided you were okay and hopped up into your lap, purring loudly as you read. You’d snapped a quick selfie and sent it off to Sebastian.

Me: [image attached] Don’t be surprised if you come home this weekend and I’ve catnapped ol’ Misty here

Sebastian: What if I’m allergic to cats?

Me: Sucks to be you, I guess

Me: The apartment’s lonely without you

You stared at the last text you’d sent, suddenly overthinking it. Sure, you were married. And, sure, you were wearing his ring now. But you two hadn’t really discussed what that meant, exactly. So was that last text too strong? Too forward?

Hell, you didn’t even know what you’d meant by it.

Sebastian: Don’t know how I feel about being able to be replaced by a cat

Sebastian: Maybe I need to up my game

Up his game?

Shit, it had been so long since you’d flirted with anyone. So long since you’d even considered a relationship. After your hellish life growing up, you’d put all of your focus into school. You were determined to set yourself up for a better life than the one you were born into. Then you graduated and worked hard to secure your place at your job. School only taught you so much, and you needed to be able to apply what you learned to real life.

Once you felt secure in your professional life and you were finally ready to start exploring a relationship, you found out you had cancer.

So to say you were woefully underprepared for this situation would be the understatement of the year.

Me: Luckily for you, I like Jenny’s coffee so much that I don’t want her to hate me for stealing her cat

Sebastian: You still thought a cat would replace me

Sebastian: That hurts, sweetheart

Sweetheart. In writing. 

Me: I’ll find some way to make you feel better this weekend

Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Why did you never read over your texts before you sent them?

At least you hadn’t put a winky face emoji. Now that would have been a disaster.

Not that you didn’t want your relationship with Sebastian to keep going. You did. But there was a lot more pressure riding on this than there was back in high school when you went to the prom with Brad Trayton, or in college when you slept with the guy from your Chemistry 101 lab three times before having to break it off with him because he always smelled like bacon.

This was Sebastian Fucking Stan. And you were married to the guy. And you were in a literal life or death situation. If things went badly with him, that would make the rest of your cancer treatment very awkward, to say the least.

Sebastian: I’m sure you will…

Sebastian: I gotta go to a script reading rn. Skype tonight?

Me: Of course

You’d been Skyping with Seb at least twice a day since he left on Sunday night. It was almost like he never left, in that regard.

But with him gone, you found that you had a lot of free time on your hands. With your body starting to get used to the cancer treatment, you also had a bit more energy and nowhere to put that energy to good use.

So you called your old boss back home, dialing his direct extension to avoid getting his assistant. The press might have backed off, but thanks to the updates from Jasmin, people who knew you were still reeling over your marriage.

“Plathway.”

“Hey, Brendon, it’s Y/N.”

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, and you could just imagine him leaning back in his chair. Brendon Plathway was your mentor and had grown into a close friend. Of everyone in your life, you would say he was the closest thing to a good father figure you had. “How are you doing? I’ve seen your name on Facebook a few times.”

“I’m doing pretty good, all things considered. I’m in a clinical study in New York and the doctors are optimistic that it’ll work. They’re hoping I’ll get the tumor out sometime in February.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Brendon said. “And that husband of yours… he treating you well?”

“It’s not… it’s not quite like that. But yeah. He’s great.” It was a pretty decent segue into the reason for your call. “He’s actually out of town, shooting for a TV show. So I have a bit of time on my hands and was hoping—”

“Y/N Y/L/N?”

The unfamiliar voice interrupted you before you could finish. You looked up to see a guy about your age with a newsboy bag, notebook, and tape recorder.

A fucking journalist.

“I thought it was you. You mind if I ask you a few questions?” He didn’t say it like a question, nor did he give you time to respond before he sat on a stool beside you and set up shop on the small table. “If I could write an article on you, it would just—”

“I’m actually on a phone call right now.”

“Oh, I won’t take too long. I just can’t pass up this opportunity. You’re quite the enigma. No one’s gotten your side of the story.”

“And neither will you. I’m not going to answer any questions.”

He completely ignored you, flicked on the recorder, and put his pen to paper. “People have been saying that you planned your rendezvous with Sebastian Stan in Vegas. What do you say to that?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have no comment for you.”

“I thought you’d appreciate the chance to get your story out there. There are some nasty rumors spreading—”

You cut him off before he could continue. “I know my story and the people I care about know my story. I will not be answering any questions for you today.”

“Do you feel no guilt for being the reason Sebastian Stan’s reputation has taken a massive hit?”

“I’m going to give you one more chance to leave me the fuck alone before I call the cops.” He opened his mouth, but you spoke over him, voice lowering to a red-hot hiss. “And if you write a single word of this conversation or make any sort of insinuations that I said anything at all, I will slap you and whatever blog or magazine you work for with a libel lawsuit. Don’t even think about trying to manipulate your recording because you’re not the only one who has been recording this conversation. The phone call you interrupted was with my boss and it’s company policy to record all incoming and outgoing phone calls. He’s a witness that I repeatedly rejected your attempt to start an interview and anything else you say can be construed as harassment. Have I made myself clear?”

He stared at you, wide eyed. Guess he hadn’t expected a cancer patient to be so blunt. Nevertheless, he gathered his things and stood. Just before walking away, he muttered, “You didn’t have to be such a bitch about it.”

Once he was gone, you groaned. “Sorry about that, Bren.”

“Is that something you have to deal with often? That’s horrible.”

“No. Not since I got sick because stupid reporters were sticking their germy microphones in my face and Seb threatened them with lawyers.”

Brendon hmphed. “Well, you sounded like you had that speech prepared. Sounded like you’d said it a few times.”

“Before he left, Seb made sure I knew how to threaten any reporters like that. Luckily this was the first time I’ve had to remember what he told me.” The reporter had shaken you, and it took a few deep breaths before you felt calm enough to continue with your conversation. “Anyway, back to my original reason for calling… Are there are projects I could jump on long distance? I’ll probably only be able to put in about ten to fifteen good hours of work a week, but it’d be nice to have something to do other than wait for new episodes of my shows to come on Hulu.”

“Let me poke around the office a bit. I know there’s a big one coming up next week. Rachel’s heading that one. You’ve worked with her before right? She’d probably appreciate your input. Trent is in the middle of one for a pharmaceutical company, but he’s not feeling too sure about it. I’ll see if he wants you to try and hack the system and find holes.”

“Anything. I’ve worked with both of them before and I think we work well together. I did quite a few initial proposals before I left for Vegas and I enjoyed those more than most people do.”

He promised he’d send any projects your way that he could. After a few more minutes of catching up, you ended the call and headed outside to wait for Sean in the chilly fall air.

“How was the reading?” you asked later that night. “Any juicy plot lines?”

“Not that I can tell you,” Seb replied. The phone in his hand shifted as he settled further into the hotel bed that Marvel was putting him up in. “But it was good. We’ll start shooting tomorrow.”

“Excited to lube up your arm?”

He laughed, head falling back against the headboard. “I take it you finally did some research on me?”

“A little. The hospital was running behind today, so I was there a bit longer than I planned and I fell down the YouTube abyss of interviews. Anthony seems like a fun guy to work with.”

Sebastian grinned. “He is. Speaking of work, did you call your boss?”

“Yeah.” The reminder of the phone call – or rather of the interruption – made your roll your eyes.

“Didn’t go well?”

“No, no. It did.” You knew your news was not going to go over well with Seb, so you took a minute to get settled into the bed. It had been a long day and laying down felt good. You turned your laptop on its side so your face would still be the right way on Seb’s phone. “Brendon’s gonna check around work and find some projects and work to throw my way. That’s all good.”

“Then what is it?”

With a deep sigh, you began. “While I was on the phone with him, some hipster reporter dude interrupted.”

“Son of a—”

“It took a minute to get it through his thick skull that I was not going to give him a story but he finally left. It just kinda took a bit out of me.”

“God, Y/N. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yeah, it’s not,” you agreed softly. “But you prepared me. I handled it. Then Sean made me eat dinner with him and his wife. She’s an amazing cook. Sometime when you’re home, they want to have both of us over. And when this is all over, we definitely need to think of a hell of a way to thank him for everything. He’s done so much more than a driver gets paid to.”

The two of you brainstormed for a bit about how to repay Sean for his kindness and friendship. Then your conversation moved on to different subjects, bouncing around for a bit until you yawned for the third time in five minutes.

“You seem more tired than usual. You doing okay?”

“I’m fine. I mean, I haven’t been sleeping well, but that’s your fault.”

“My fault?” he asked.

“Yeah. You made me sleep next to you for two weeks then you just up and leave me alone. It’s rude, Mr. Stan.”

Something in your words sparked something in his eyes that filled you with… excitement?

“Well, Mrs. Stan…” His words were accompanied by a wink that stopped your heart. Forget your brain tumor. Sebastian was going to be the source of your death. “You only have two more nights before I’m home for the weekend.”

Flirting? Were you flirting?

“Two nights with you and five nights without you is just not a fraction I like.”

My god, you were flirting.

“If you can convince Marvel to move their studios to New York, I’m all game. Until then, we’ll have to make the best of those two nights.”

“Make the best of them, hmm?”

“Yeah,” he said in a low voice. “Mackie’s commentary on The Voice isn’t as good as yours. I’ve been waiting to watch the new episodes until I’m with you.”

The unexpected twist made you laugh out loud. It didn’t escape your attention how his eyes crinkled at the sound, affection flooding his expression. “The Voice on Friday and Dancing With The Stars on Saturday?”

“I’ll pen it in my calendar, sweetheart.”

“Ooo. I’m pen-worthy. That’s so much better than pencil-worthy.”

“You’re white-out-worthy, baby. I’d white-out plans I have with someone else to pen in plans with you.”

Fucking hell. Baby was a new one.

If he’d put on half this much charm on you in Vegas when you were drunk, it was no wonder you’d married him.

“Then I guess I need to go erase the pencil plans I had for Saturday evening and make room for you. Maybe even buy a special pen just for you.”

“Maybe wait for tomorrow? You’ve had a long day. Seems like you need a good night’s rest.”

“You too, hun.” The pet name felt foreign on your tongue, but it somehow felt… right? “Shooting starts tomorrow. You need to be ready to keep up with Mackie’s energy.”

“He wants to meet’cha, you know. Apparently I haven’t shut up about you.’

“Gimme a few more weeks to get used to this treatment and maybe I can spend more than three seconds around him without needing a nap,” you joked. “Unless he only has that energy when there’s a camera on him…?”

Seb laughed. “That is him all the damn time.”

“Then I better let you go for the night. You’ve spent the last few weeks shlumping around with me. Gotta get your rest to keep up with him tomorrow.”

“And you gotta get your rest so you can hand out candy tomorrow.”

“I’m excited for that, actually. Trick or Treating really slowed down back in Utah lately. I think last year I got, like, maybe three groups of kids?”

“You’ll get your fill this year. A lot of the kids in the apartment complex go to every door. Just be careful, okay? I don’t want you getting sick.”

It took twenty more minutes before you were finally able to say your goodbyes and hang up. You stared at your phone for a moment before placing it on the side table beside Sebastian’s bed and turning off the light.  

Houston, we've got some flirting!!! Also can we just take a minute to appreciate how amazing Sean is? But things seem to be looking up!

CHAPTER 19: THE LONG DAY