#I keep forgetting to post art till way after I finish it and it start noticing all the flaws 😭

[perhapsasword]

Rhaegar and Arthur Dayne, pre-Harrenhal. Discussing Rhaegars weird prophecy related things.

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

hello mara, recently i read your post named 'i am not a person of integrity', and i have been thinking about it for the past few days. it was beautiful and changed me to my core in a very positive way

i hope you are having a good day mara

do you have any manga recommendations lately?

hey anonymous -- i appreciate that; i have mixed feelings about the article in question, because 1) i am proud of the writing and having actually finished it, instead of being another one of those projects i start and drop, & 2) i:m not necessarily proud of the circumstances that prompted me writing it, and how it is 'tainted' from being written out of a bitterness;

i:d often thought about writing a retrospective for it, mostly just covering the following:

a. after i finished writing that article all of the weird related neuroses i had felt unwound and like i finally permitted myself to grow; i:d used to have these weird freaked-out 'episodes' of crying and panicking over the memories, and for what-ever reason that all stopped after i finally directly addressed the memory instead of doing a bunch of weak little tip-toeing and self-coping;

b. in the aftermath, and after 'wilderness' i had to learn to be more alone, and comfortable being alone, and comfortable dealing with pains and discomforts alone--and alone here would include not using the internet or 'venting'--and doing this changed a lot of my assessment over self and self-behavior; i think how i wrote and shared myself obsessively both hurt myself and people i ought to have loved more, all borne out of this intense fear of trusting myself to a quiet that i:d been terrified of;

c. in responses from other people, i sometimes worry people mistake the point was to be unapologetically perverted as though wallowing in muck and mistaking that muck for self leads to some assumed healing--there is probably merit in having shame and humility over some personal matters; mostly (and what i think helped me 'move on') was the issue of needing to address uncomfortable thoughts that burrowed inside myself and i had constructed convenient lattices around to support a status that was rotten. sometimes i worry, too, that this was interpreted as needing to be overly penitent--but the most important issue, i think, is that ability to finally confront something internal that you are terrified of confronting; those types of thoughts that, when they bubble up, your brain starts desperately trying to push-down and construct excuses and narratives for until it disperses into your body in a soft-forgetting till it inflames and bubbles back up again like some carrion odor.

d. i:d thought about deleting it a handful of times, due to the bitter root, but it keeps being left up; but: the phylactery part--after those weird neuroses started to die down and (in wilderness) i realized i had tied a bunch of my identity to visual novels and art and writing i found a greater peace in just giving up on all of those aspirations. i am not really an artist, or a writer, and may-be i don:t really care about visual novels whatsoever; there was something really freeing about that.

i haven:t really read manga this year at all, but i:ll recommend eden: it's an endless world! because it:s what i would want to read if i wanted to read manga--if you:re willing to be spoiled, you might like this video of the final few pages being synched up to a song it references, it:s one of my favorite videos (go ahead! spoil yourself!)

take care; natsunokumo is a manga i like, too, not completely translated last time i checked, though

[tor3memberwhatsdeleted]

Alright. Let's get this going.

Yes, me. @alice-the-kittycat-yt

Sep-dec 2021

From running through the house, I turned my foot the wrong way and broke it. It wasn't till a week later that I was taken to Urgent Care to get an X-ray of it. Turned out it was fractured. I had to use crutches to get around.

Because of that, I couldn't carry my bag. Someone had to help me. Yes, the mentioned, Alexander.

Not going to say his full name. That would be completely wrong. That'd probably be considered doxxing, which is not what I want. Don't do or say anything to him. That's wrong and not a good way to handle such situations.

Anyway, he was the one to carry my bag. Over the time, I developed a close bond with him. I had ever wanted to love, but something changed when I met him. Felt instantly drawn and breathless looking at him.

Off of that, my friends found out. The first time he asked me out, I declined. I didn't want to like him at the time.

Oh how bad that was.

I soon confessed and we stayed extremely close friends for a while.

Feb 18 2022

This is the exact day he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I excepted.

Went on the rest of the year without any problems, other than me then thinking negatively of myself after dating him. Bringing down my self esteem.

Rest of 2022

It was alright. I was completely blind by love for this man. I was dumb. Long time followers remember me always talking about him over this period.

As well as self hate posts.

Drawings of him.

Everything on him.

I was obsessed with this guy.

How foolish.

I realized signs of him cheating with a clingy woman named, to keep her private, we'll call her Izzy. She always wanted to be around him.

Then came valentine's day of 2023...

Feb 25, 2023

This is the exact date of which he broke up with me after admitting to cheating on my with Izzy.

I was devastated and depressed.

I didn't know what to do with my life. But...

I built myself back up. He started being a b**** to me and calling me things.

Going as far as to bring up my past, which is a very sensitive subject for me.

I couldn't believe he would do such a thing (yes, my parents fought, not only with words but violence, I might do a story on that later).

Then it went to insulting my appearance.

Then brings my depression to make fun of me

Wouldn't anyone cry?!?!?!

Then he goes as far to tell me to kill myself after I mentioned my friend telling me to block him. Before I even finished my sentence.

Can't even spell properly.

Uses the same insults as a 6 year old.

Present day

So, currently he called me recently, no, I didn't answer because I was confused. I've been a lot nicer to him.

Though I'll never truly forgive him.

He lied and said I was abusive then later admitting to dumping me for another woman.

I won't forget this. I never did anything to him. Yes, I did say some pretty rude things as a comeback, but I never went as far as to tell him to literally kill himself. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone!

Insulting my art.

I will never forgive or forget that.

He is rude and not trustworthy.

I'm done here.

[mochipon-vt]

i realize that i've kinda been leaving this social out of the loop a bit probably due to the fact that i barely use twitter anymore since it's basically useless now and tumblr has vibes of heading in the same slippery slope direction as twit so it's made me shift my focus to being more active on bsky than anything else.

i apologize but it also seems to be coming to light a lil bit that tumblr is almost just as manipulative as twitter is/was for suppressing engagement and visibility and increasing amounts of users + bots abusing the tagging system is starting to render it useless as well.

but, aside from all that, i will try to keep any followers or viewers from my other locations informed and updated on things going on.

if anyone checked on my previous post of what happened in october, you'll know it got a bit stressful for me towards the end of the month which resulted in me forgetting about trying to plan things for halloween, hitting affiliate status on my twitch, my upcoming birthday and wanting to celebrate a sort of? 1 year anniversary for being able to stream consistently. and while i hadn't been planning anything huge or spectacular for it, i still wanted to make note of all these things i was excited to celebrate.

that being said, this month has been rather busy + some disrespectful viewers put me in a slump for a little bit that i'm still kinda slowly trying to bounce back from but the month is catching up to me quickly and i had planned to postpone any baby celebrations till the middle of this month. well, now i realize next week is holiday time already and i most likely won't be able to do MUCH celebrating or streaming due to spending time with family and friends etc so i'm gonna try to plan a little something for the end of this week to celebrate things. i'll post an update on whatever it is i plan to do.

i also wanted to toss this in here bc idk if anyone from here comes to view my streams but should anyone be interested or have input on what i play next after i finish mario wonder, feel free to vote on what you'd like to see me play next. all of these options are things i feel in the mood for playing in the near future so i literally don't care which one wins, i'm just incredibly indecisive.

but now having caught this social up to speed with what's going on, hope everyone is doing well and i'll try to update here more along side bsky but not twitter bc it just. is not worth anyone's time to bother with anymore. i had also wanted to maybe start using insta for art things but i'm not hearing great things about it's future recently and it has always seems quite horrible to do anything picture/photo related on there in a creative way + it seems like the uploads things in the worst resolution possible so. idk what to do with that account other than to keep up with people leaving twitter now. sure would be awesome if everyone would stop killing social platforms.

[eriellesudario]

The Penguin Effect – How Club Penguin changed my life and turned me to the person I am today.

Club Penguin has been part of my childhood for a really long time that it was one of my first fandoms that I’ve ever joined. I was obsessed with the game like any kid would but the impact that this game gave to me is something that I will never forget as without this game, I wouldn’t be here.

On January 30 2017, Club Penguin announced that they will be shutting down and moving towards Club Penguin Island. I was unaware of this happening until one of my friends on Twitter retweeted this post.

At first, I thought this was just some joke but looking at the retweets and replies from the tweet and searching on twitter about the same topic, I knew that this was no joke. After going to Google and searching ‘Club Penguin + Shutting Down’ and reading a few early articles talking about this, that’s when the realisation kicked in… Club Penguin is ending on March 29.

My first reaction to this was:

OH NO, THIS CAN’T BE TRUE!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING! THERE GOES MY CHILDHOOD

But then I found out that one of the reasons that Club Penguin is shutting down is due to the loss of players that they are unable to keep running the game financially.The reason why this is happening

We all knew that this day would come. It was expected since many players disliked the idea of Club Penguin being more ‘member oriented’ unlike before. But none of us were ready when it was actually happening, especially since we just finished surviving 2016.

So in the spirit of the site shutting down, here is a blog post on how Club Penguin changed my life and made me the person I am.

Where it all began

Back when I joined in 2007, it wasn’t owned by Disney yet and the art style of the locations are hand drawn and simplistic. It didn’t have much on bright colours and looked like it was scanned from paper. The homepage was text heavy but it does advertise that it’s a child-friendly site and that it’s a fun site.

But unfortunately, pink looked more like fuchsia in 2007 and as a 9-year-old, I have no idea how to spell that word, neither my cousin knew as well. Since mum was busy and was unable to help me how to spell the word, my cousin and I needed another adjective for my username.

Since I was 9 and back then I was cute (and it’s still the only adjective people describe to me till this day), Cutiejea was formed.

This site was the birth of my online persona as for some reason, people liked me more online rather than offline.

The Creative Inspiration + Motivation

It was around 2008 and YouTube was still developing as a video sharing platform. I wasn’t a fan on any YouTuber but I did enjoy watching a lot of Club Penguin fan fiction videos. Watching these videos filled me with inspiration as the way they tell these stories are really interesting and how they’re made blew my mind.

There the ones like ‘Who killed Captain Rockhopper’ where the editing style is just simplistic and if I were to make one of these videos, I could pull it off.

Then we have the Club Penguin music videos where just watching them, you know that the creator put in a lot of time and effort to make it amazing and look like a legit music video. (Funny how this music video, I found it in an old blog site called ‘Multiply’)

Then we have the ‘Club Penguin Meets Runescape’ series by Starjal which I swear up to this day, I have no idea how this person pulled it off. This 5 part series was my biggest inspiration to why I wanted to make YouTube videos. The closest thing I’ve got to how this person made this series is the use of photoshop and a lot of stop motion which makes it look convincing.

Its the creativity of these creators that inspired me to give YouTube a shot but unfortunately, I have no idea where to start and was unable to do so until 2012.

My Future Career… in Media

After settling to my new home in 2010 and the family being able to afford more internet data in 2011, I’ve decided to jump back to the game since I still enjoyed it. Yes there were multiple changes but there was still a lot of things non-members could do w/o membership.

Around 2011, the video above was uploaded and it was about what working in Club Penguin is like and advice if you want to get into the field. And just after watching the video, I thought to myself that one day, I would work for Club Penguin. I would be part of their creative team and be part of Club Penguin’s future.

Unfortunately, telling your parents that you want to do Gaming Programming isn’t the ideal thing they want to hear since they worry that I will end up jobless. And after trying to do extension maths in year 11, I’ve decided to change my mind about my future plans but the idea of me wanting to do something creative was still something I want to do with my life.

So when reassessing what I want to do for my future, I was thinking ‘What is the next Creative Job that’s both fun, technical, yet something that involves less maths’.

Film making and photography.

So technically, Club Penguin helped me figure out what I want to do with my life. What’s funny is that the choice I wanted to do, it could still be applicable if I want to work in the gaming industry but back then, I just wanted to a programmer or a games artist.

The Rise of the Fangirl Trait

As stated earlier, Club Penguin was my first fandom. This game was what defined me back in primary school as I was known for holding all the knowledge to what to do in the game in my class. Between 2008–2009, Club Penguin became a popular game in my class that when they heard that I got membership, my peers would ask what is it like to have ‘full access’ to everything. To be honest, back then, membership just grants the play to buy more clothes and have access to extra songs in dance contest and access member exclusive locations during parties (which doesn’t do much).

Up to this day, I’m still a fan girl. It may not be for Club Penguin anymore but the skills gained from my past experiences, its useful if I want to be interested in new groups.

My mum commented this weird habit by saying :

“If you were tested about this, I bet you would not get any mistakes”

(PS: If you wanted to play hide and seek with me back in 2008, good luck finding me as I found locations where no matter how many times you click, you still couldn’t find me. Yes you can find the location but knowing the specific spot where I’m at, good luck with that)

The Butterfly Effect

The Butterfly Effect: This is that small changes in the initial conditions lead to drastic changes in the results. Our lives are an ongoing demonstration of this principle.

Club Penguin created a huge impact in my life that I don’t know what would happen to me without it. If I was never introduced to Club Penguin, I don’t know and can’t imagine what my life would be like.

Maybe I would still want to pursuit teaching like my parents wanted me to be. Maybe I wouldn’t have an online life and just be this person who only uses Facebook and Instagram. Or maybe I would have not have the potential to waste time that I would have gotten a better ATAR and done a different course (or similar but in a different institution).

An End of an Era

Overall, Club Penguin helped shaped my life to what it is today. Without this game, my entire life would be different that picturing it would be impossible as there are multiple outcomes that could happen. But all worlds have to come to an end.

“Unfortunately, many virtual worlds do die this way. They get to a point where the publisher simply decides that it’s not worth maintaining or supporting them any more, and the plug is pulled… … How? How is this possible? How can Club Penguin stick around for years and years to come? You. The community of Club Penguin fans. The thing that keeps a game like this going, more than anything else, is a committed audience. As long as there are enough people who care about the existence of something, it would be financially foolish to let them go…“ -Screenhog (2015) — A former artist for Club Penguin

I know the game has been through multiple changes over the years. Some of the older players could no longer recognise the game between 2013–16 as they feel that it’ mostly promoting what Disney wants and it’s losing it’s creativity.

We all knew that Club Penguin will have to come to a close at some point. But no one expected it to end early this year in 2017. Just when 2016 came to an end, the CP team have to decide to take away our childhood. But I don’t blame them, these things happen and this game will be truly missed.

You are the reason I’ve done this for so long and I am so thankful you’ve let me be a part of your lives. You are what makes Club Penguin special. Never forget that. Until then… Waddle on! — Lane Merrifield (CP Co-Founder, 2012)

Club Penguin… you have been amazing. I will never forget the adventures I had in the game, the story arcs that I was able to experience and the fun memories I had. You will always be part of my history.

For now, I will attempt to log back in just to have my final moments with what remains before I say goodbye.

#LongLiveCP (October 24 2005 — March 29 2017)

[slasherrabbitmadness]

Bo Sinclair x Female Reader

THIS is a NONCON fic. Please don't read and then get shocked at what you read. You are reading this at your own risk! You cannot get shocked at the content here if you are sensitive to NONCON and read anyways. I am not responsible if you choose to still read this and it's upsetting. Also, there is Forced Breeding included! Read at your own risk.

When I get an AO3, I will be posting this there.

Underthecut - NSFW, NON-CON, Cheating -forced- Oral -Female receiving- Forced Breeding/Forced pregnancy, Degradation. Tagged as Dark Fic

Sinclair Brothers College AU Part 2 Part 1 is here!

Bo will never forget that morning. Never forgot your angelic face buried into his brother's chest, Vincent's face buried into the top of your head, nose nuzzled into your hair.

His voice had hurt for the three days after all the screaming he had done, his knuckles bruised for weeks after he and Vincent drew blows.

He could still hear your screaming, this shrill piercing scream for him to stop. To stop hurting him, to stop hurting Vincent.

Not one scream for him, his well-being.

Bo left the room with a bruised lip and ego.

The image of you comforting Vincent, rubbing his knuckles, kissing his cheek burned in his head. He replayed it over and over.

Bo couldn't get over how everyone seemed to approve of the whole ordeal.

That friend of yours had come running up to you, congratulating you on finally getting with Vincent. Even her tall British boyfriend paid a compliment.

His own friends even poked fun, how stupid he was not to see Vincent slowly making his moves. Vincent and you at the Dairy Queen, you at his art show, how both of you spent hours at the library.

How'd he miss all that?

Bo walked into his dorm, slamming the door behind him as he whipped off his hat, he frowned as he flopped onto the bed. back against the wall as he took in the room.

The large varnished bricks painted a light blue, years of new coats of paint chipping off in the corners. The yellow fluorescent light struggling to light up the room, no doubt the same light from when the dorm was built.

Bo took in his brother's side. Neat, save for a few books littered around, a few on his desk, three on the floor, two on the bed, and Y/n's cellphone.

Bo shot up, eagerly rushing over to Vincent's bed, hands immediately on your phone. He held it in his hands, smirking at the pink phone case with a bear's face on the back. He swiped his thumb over the screen, he grits his teeth at the image of you and Vincent on your home screen. Vincent held his arm around you as he kissed your cheek.

"Putz," he mumbled to himself, Bo's thumb lingered over your lock screen. He pressed in the four numbers, "Shit. She must have changed it." Bo looked up, going over what your new passcode could be. The old one was the date you and him started dating. Bo made sure it was that, and that way he had access to your phone whenever you were careless enough to leave it about.

Bo smiled as he knew what the passcode was. If his brother was anything like him, he'd be just as possessive, "Ding!" Bo tapped his foot in excitement as your phone opened up, he went right to your gallery, brows turned down in disgust.

Picture after picture of you and Vincent. Some tame, others, Bo whistled at the picture of you sucking off Vincent. He hated it, seeing your pretty little face lavish his brother's cock, but for Bo, it was easy just to picture his own in its place.

Another photo, you with your legs spread, hand over your mouth, embarrassed as your pussy was covered in Vincent's seed.

Bo groaned, "Little fuckin' whore." He pressed his feet into the ground, steadying himself. He was taken back to when he'd do the same to you, make you beg for his cum to coat your needy pussy. He licked his lips as he could hear your little whines and begs.

"Cum on my pussy, Bo." Fuck and you sounded so perfect.

"Cum on my pussy, Vinny." He cursed as your voice played over in his head. Hating how easily he could hear your sweet voice be so dirty for his brother.

Bo kept scrolling, his stomach churned, cock-stiffening as he scanned more and more pictures.

Videos, ranging from thirty seconds to two minutes in length. He pressed one, the image of you riding his brother played immediately.

"Oh, Vinny, your cocks making me feel so full." Bo groaned, he turned up the volume to hear the vulgar slaps of your ass against his brother's pelvis. "Oh, Fuck Vinny." Bo watched as you fell onto Vincent's chest as he lifted you, fucking up into you at a fast pace.

Bo watched till the end, his ears burning as your moans and whimpers wafted through the shitty phone speaker. He palmed his erection as he watched Vincent cum deep in you, his brother's disgusting grunts and growls had him snarling.

Bo's eyes remained on the screen. They widened as Vincent pulled out, carelessly spreading your legs open to the camera, both your face and Vincent are not visible, but your pussy was bared. He watches as his brother's seed leaked out of you, hearing Vincent mumbling at what a good little princess you are, how you were made to used, made to be a good little cum dump.

Bo shook, knuckles going white as he held the phone. Your whimpering approval of Vincent's words, how Vincent scooped his cum back up into you...

Bo snapped out of his anger as a text popped up,

-Hey, meet you at the library, I'll only be able to study briefly, I have a surprise shift at the hospital.-

Bo tapped it, immediately taken to your messages with Dan.

Everything between you and Dan was mundane. Study dates that often included Herbert and just random memes.

He exited out, looking over all the people you've been texting. Your texts with him deleted, he huffed as he continued. That girl dating the tall British guy. That weird Billy kid, Freddy, your mom, your boss, and Vincent.

He sat down on his bed as he went through the texts. Some of the texts were mundane, how are you, I'm good. I love you and can't wait to see you.

Bo froze, laughing to himself, leaning back onto the bed as he read the recent texts,

-Remember those awful cramps I've been having? My doctor said it was birth control. I'll be going off it for a few weeks and will be getting that Implanon thing.-

Bo checked the date, "Two weeks ago." he said to himself as he kept reading.

-So bad news, I won't get that Implanon thing for another month.-

-That's okay. We can keep it safe for now. One day though you'll be off that stuff ;)-

Bo shook his head, of course, his brother would be on that train of thought. Getting you pregnant. Watching your belly grow with babe.

Bo seethed, hand running down his front, cock pulsing at the image of you, begging for his cum, asking him to impregnate you. Your belly swelling with the Sinclair seed, his large hand rubbing over you, kissing your cheek, amazed at the changes in your body.

Your tits swelling, begging for Bo to ease the ache in them. Cock stiffening as he suckles on your tender tits.

Bo's attention was snapped back to reality as the door's handle justled. He quickly exited out of the texts, turned off the screen, and threw the phone on the bed, burying his face into his pillow, grunting as his cock angled into the bed painfully.

Vincent stepped in, sneering at his brother. "She forgot something, I won't be long." He mumbled, hand going for your phone.

"Y'her lap dog or some? She can't come get it herself?"

"I don't trust you alone with her." Vincent gave your phone a once over before grabbing a few books, "I'll be gone tonight, I work late, so you can invite that 'cute' girl from the bar." Vincent coughed as he finished his sentence.

"Yeah, yeah..." Bo eyed his brother, pulling his pillow closer into his face.

"You didn't touch this, did you?" Vincent waved the phone around, giving it a once over.

"Why would I touch her shit?"

Vincent shrugged his shoulders, "Bye," He opened the door, "Oh, and Lester is inviting us to a barbeque, he expects you to be there."

Bo flinched as his brother slammed the door. He sat up, freeing his cock, the images of you and Vincent still in his mind, the image of himself pushing Vincent away to replace Vincent's seed with his own...

"The library..." he said to himself, the image of you at the library, pushed over onto one of the corner desks, hidden away from everyone, his cock buried deep inside, pleading with him to cum inside.

Bo gripped the base of his cock, squeezing to let more of his precum drip out, watching as it fell along the side.

"That'd look a lot better in the place it belongs."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Vincent stood in front of the campus library, he ran his hands up and down your sides, pinching your ass when he dipped low.

"Vinny!" He playfully pinched his arm, kissing his cheek as you giggled.

"Can't help it, you're so cute." He kissed you again, tongue wrapping around yours, he pushed you closer into himself, your moan being suppressed by the kiss.

You reluctantly pulled away, "I gotta meet Dan. I need his help with my paper. Thanks for getting my phone."

Vincent nodded at you, kissing your cheek again, "I know, I don't want you near him, either."

You nod into his chest, inhaling his scent, linseed oil, and his farmer's market shampoo. You hum as he begins to sway you back and forth.

"I gotta go, see you tomorrow," He pulls away, hand rubbing over your cheek, his eye taking in your sad ones. "Be safe getting home."

"I will!" You shared a kiss goodbye as you excitedly entered the library.

You waved to norman at the front desk, he briefly looked up to give a small smile before returning to his large ornithology book on his desk.

You grinned and waved as you caught sight of Dan. He was in his scrubs with his Starbucks in his hand, smiling at you.

"I can help you for the next hour before I gotta go," He began as you sat in front of him, "Then I got my shift an-"

"Yes at the hospital, I know I know." You sat and opened your books, Dan grabbing one to flip through it, scanning for the important passage,

"Here, you'll want to start here, copy it, and then grab two more sources from the encyclopedias. Has to be from the books, not online."

You rubbed your temples, "Yeah, that's, a lot to take in."

Dan chuckled, "That's the advanced course for you."

You tapped your pencil on the paper of your books, "So, you hear about Brahms and his girl? The fight they had!"

Dan perked up, brown eyes filled with wonder.

The two of you immediately filled your time with gossip, the mention of Brahms's girlfriend and Billy was the only thing being studied.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bo strolled up to the library, "Twenty minutes to closing..." He shrugged his shoulders as he entered.

He looks around, the lights dimmed, the desk lamps off, save for the few remaining students.

"Can I help you?" Bo snapped his head to the thin, pale man at the front desk.

"Ah, yeah, where are the books on, like art and stuff," Bo looked at the nameplate, "Norman." Bo fumbled with his hands in his pockets.

"In the back," Norman gestured his head behind him, "In section eight hundred to eight hundred and fifty. Don't be long, we are closing soon." Norman sneered as he shuffled the papers on his desk.

"Yeah, thanks." Bo shook his head, as he caught Norman giving him a once over.

Bo clenched his fists as he heard Norman mumble "I don't even think he can read."

He made his way around the library, ducking behind the rows when he thought he saw you, any girl that resembled you had his heart clench in shock.

"No, Vinny, I can't talk right now, text it to me instead." Bo froze, his feet heavy, your voice was curt, he heard you grunt, knowing you just hung up on his brother.

Bo followed the voice, finding you tucked away in the private study area, the tables up against the walls, the lights were severely dimmed, Bo wondered how in the hell you could see the paper in front of you.

He carefully watched his steps, inching slowly behind you, grateful you were distracted in the book, grateful you secluded yourself so far away from everyone else.

A wolfish grin spread over his face, standing over you, he leaned in, hands snaking over you, rushing to silence your mouth,

"Hey, Sweets, miss me?"

Your blood went cold, eyes bulged, you attempted to turn but Bo held firm.

"Miss me? Huh? Ah, maybe you need to look at me first." He whispered into your ear, placing a feather-light kiss.

You retched away, guttural noises being silenced as Bo put a hand around your neck.

"Ah, no no, c'mon now, that any way to react to me? C'mon sweets, you used to beg me, beg me not to leave you, cry whenever I missed a date, moan for my cock to make you come." He chuckled as you squirmed in his arms, the chuckle turning into a soft laugh as you reached for your phone.

"Grabbing your phone for me? How nice of you, Sweets!" Bo whipped you around, slamming you onto the table as he chucked away the books, thankful they didn't fall onto the floor.

You began kicking at Bo, the panic making your blood run hot, giving you a surge of strength.

You knew Bo, knew how much stronger he was, knew you couldn't fight him off. The look in his eyes as his body leaned forward onto yours, chuckling off your kicks.

"Ah, hey, calm down," Bo squeezed on your neck, kissing your cheek as you sputtered out a whine, choking as you gasped for air.

Bo grabbed your phone, your eyes burning as he easily tapped the four-digit code to open it, he went right to the gallery, opening up the video of you and Vincent, "Look at you," The video played, Bo held the phone to your face, forcing you to look, "Taking my brother's cum in your slutty little pussy. Fuck what a good whore you are."

He exited out of the video, going to your texts, "So bad news, I won't get that Implanon thing for another month." He read aloud as he shook his head, "tsk tsk, and I bet you are still fucking, even when it's not safe. I mean, if my brother's anything like me, he won't wanna wrap that shit up."

Tears pooled in your eyes, slowly falling along the sides into your hair. Your eyes pleading with him, 'don't do this, please.'

Bo huffed as he pulled down your skirt, panties coming along with it. He took in your pussy, licking his bottom lip as he caught a glance at your shaved pussy, thankful that his brother has the same taste as him. "You look so good, that pussy nice and clean for me, gonna look good with my seed spilling out."

"I'll let you breathe properly if you promise to be quiet, can you do that for me?" His baby blues stared into your eyes, you wanted to hurl as you saw a sick softness to them.

"I'll, b-be- go-good." You choked. You gasped in sweet relief as bo removed his large hand from your neck. Your phone in his hand was held to your face as you realized he was filming.

"You better open up these legs for me, little whore like you should be used to spreading her legs, hm? Taking my brother's cock while dating me. Well, you can have my cock again, and I'm gonna make sure you'll never fucking forget this. Like I'll never fuckin' forget waking up to you." Bo placed the phone down, propping it up against your books, "With cum dripping out your pussy in Vincent's arms."

You looked away as you heard Bo's belt clink his zipper coming undone, "I can easily scream,"

"Scream? ha, the place is practically empty at this point, who's gonna come as you scream? 'Norman' I can tell he's already too self-absorbed to care for another." Bo leaned down, his breath hot over your cunt.

"Please don't, Bo please, I'll do anything!"

His signature cocky grin spread over his lips, "Oh, you will, first, I get a taste of this," He plunged his tongue in, a soft moan as your taste hit his tongue, his eyes looking up at you, then to the phone.

You squirmed as your walls involuntarily pulsed around his tongue. You squeezed your eyes shut, hips shaking as he flicked his tongue over your clit.

"You taste so good, fuck better than I remember," He sucked hard, laughing as you whimpered. "See, little slutty body like your can't help but react."

Wave after wave of pleasure crashed through you, Bo's large hand roaming your body, dipping under your shirt, sliding under your bra to squeeze your breast.

"Fuck it feels good too, remember how you used to beg me to suck on them?" He pinched your hardening nipple, "Look at the camera." He cooed.

He dipped two fingers into your heat, making you groan as he pressed down and sucked hard on your clit.

You breathed heavily through your nose, fighting the urge to let out a wanton moan. Tears flowed as your hips voluntarily bucked into Bo's face, his tongue sending wave after wave of euphoria through you that not even Vincent could manage.

Bo shook his head, a raspy moan muffled by the lewd noises your pussy made as he fingered you. He looked up, smirking into you, your pussy clenching around his fingers, how you covered your mouth to fight back the deep moan.

You ran your hand through Bo's brown hair, he moaned, taking the action as approval for his ministrations. You pushed on him, your airy moans muffled by your palm as you came. Bo stayed latched onto your clit, suckling and flicking it, tongue deep to your cunt to lap at you, groaning as it pulsed around his muscle.

Bo shot up, licking his lips of your cream, "Ah, see that, wanna taste?" You shook your head, mouth a no. He leaned in, one hand angling his cock while the other grabbed your neck.

His tongue wrapped around yours, muffling the whine as he slammed into you, his cock stretching you out, a slight burn mixed with pleasure.

Bo wasted no time, slamming hard into you, his cheeks pink as he groaned into the kiss, he lifted his head, "Ah, fuck, needy little pussy fuckin' missed me. Ah shit, I fuck." He grunted above you, his body pressing you into the table, "Fuck, it missed me, fuck it missed me."

You sobbed under him, your mind going to Vincent, trying to picture it was Vincent on top of you, it was you and Vincent making love in the library, not Bo. Not Bo sending waves of familiar pleasure through you, his cock stretching you out.

"Please, don't cum in me, Bo, please don't."

"Wah? cum in you? Sure, I can do that, after all, your little pussy was made for it." He sneered at you, a dark look flashed over him.

You punched at him, "I'll scream."

"You scream and that video gets sent to Vincent. Doesn't matter I'm hav-having m-my way with y-you." He stuttered between thrusts, "Just a video of you getting impregnated by his older brother. He won't want you."

You sobbed as tears spilled as you turned away from him, Vincent flashed in your mind. His smile, his light blue eyes, his hands holding yours.

Your body tensed as Bo's cock felt intoxicating, the familiar rhythm, his harsh kisses, mind being taken back to you on his bed, how he'd hiked your legs over his shoulders as he pushed them onto your chest, a cocky grin as he fucked you deep.

"Bo," You whimpered, "Please," you continued "Just not inside."

He slammed harder, groaning as you clenched around him, "Feels like it wants it inside. Don't lie to yourself, Sweets."

You couldn't, the tears fell, you whimpered Vincent's name, "Hurry, Bo."

Bo couldn't hold back, your sexy little body squirming under him, your pussy clenching around him, your spent leaking onto the table, your stifled moans. "Look at the camera as you cum, look as I cum in you," He turned your head towards the phone, tears freely falling Bo licked your cheek.

His breathing, his thrusts, his cock filling you so well, his raspy praise. You stared, "I'm sorry, Vincent." You scrunched your face as Bo positioned in and out, a low groan reverberated from his chest.

Bo laughed as he came, his seed painting your insides, coating your pink walls, picturing it shooting deep into your womb, his little swimmers getting to work.

You fought back the urge to barf, his cum filling you send a ripple of pleasure through you.

Bo hissed as his breathing slowed, the realization of your nails digging into his shoulders, came to his senses. He slowly pulled out, grabbing the phone, to capture his seed dripping out of your pussy.

He wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing, a threat. He continued to film, "Ah, look at that, good little slut getting bred. Just like she was made too."

Bo brought the camera to your face, "Say, 'Hi, Vincent!' ha" he laughed as you kept your vision off him and the camera.

"it's okay, I know you're thinking of getting that plan B. But you'll be coming with me tonight, I'm gonna make sure my seed takes." Bo released your neck, thumb running over your lips as you coughed.

"Get dressed, we're gonna get a hotel, this is from over." He leaned in to kiss your cheek, "My good girl, mine again." He hugged you as he sent the video to his phone. He laughed as he felt you shake in his arms,

"I wonder what Vincent will do when he sees this, gosh I can only imagine." He hummed and swayed you back and forth, "You'll look great with my child in you, can't wait, ah you'll be so beautiful."

[4stars-uswnt]

Home Is Wherever I’m With You [Christen Press x Reader]

requested by anon: Hey, there just want to drop of this prompt in case you feel like writing it. Reader got home after a few months being away from CP because of the quarantine, maybe a moment of CP confronting R that she’s jealous of R’s teammate that got to lockdown together. Thanks.

A/N: after a week break (for the election and other stresses of life) (and technically i haven’t written in like three weeks bc of life and school), we’re BACK! hope y’all like this one :) and as always, feedback is more than welcome!! anyways, back to your regularly scheduled programming... 

“Hey, baby, I’m home,” you call out, as you enter the LA apartment you shared with your girlfriend, closing the door behind you, “fucking finally.” You mumble under your breath, as you drop your bags onto the floor.

“(Y/N)!” Christen runs from the bedroom upon hearing your voice, but before she can crash into you for a long-awaited hug, you put up your hands to stop her.

“Woah, Chris,” you almost falter at the sight of her pout, “I just got off a plane and came from the airport. I need to shower and get all these yucky germs off me.” You smell your shirt and make a face to exaggerate your point.

“But I missed you.” Christen pouts, and you give her a sympathetic smile.

“I missed you too, babe, but I just wanna be extra safe. Can’t have you getting sick or anything like that.” You wink, as you make your way to the bathroom. “I’ll be out in a minute.” Blowing her a kiss, you disappear down the hallway.

Christen sinks down into the couch, letting out a frustrated groan. If the forward was being honest with herself, she more than missed you; she was jealous. Although she knew that you loved her and only her and the two of you had been dating for almost two years, Christen couldn’t help the green-eyed monster from taking over when she constantly saw you on Sofia Huerta’s instagram.

The past two months, you had to quarantine in Seattle and stay in your apartment that you shared with Sofia during the season, while waiting for COVID to settle down enough for you to travel. During that time, you and Sofia spent a lot of time together, doing anything to keep you entertained.

Unfortunately for you, Sofia had often posted on her Instagram story photos and videos of your activities, whether it be a movie night or a bike around Discovery Park, leading to a very annoyed Christen Press.

It wasn’t that Christen was jealous in the sense that she thought there was something going on between you and the midfielder, more so that she was jealous that it was Sofia that got to spend time doing all that fun stuff with you rather than her.

Too caught up in her thoughts, Christen didn’t notice you plop down next to her. “You there?”

“Hmm,” she turns to face you, “yeah, yeah, just got lost in thought.”

“Well, now that I’m all clean,” you smirk, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively, as you move to straddle your girlfriend, “I thought we could make up for some lost time.”

“I like the sound of that.” Christen leans in closer to connect your lips.

—————

The next morning, after a long uneventful night, you woke up in your own bed next to your girlfriend for the first time in months. Turning over, you smile and admire the sleeping woman next to you. Wanting to do something somewhat romantic, you silently slip out of bed, careful not to wake your girlfriend, and head to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

As you were fixing up some coffee and healthy yogurt, oats, and chia seeds (or whatever healthy stuff your girlfriend puts in her breakfast), Christen was groggily waking up. Rolling over, she reaches out to the other side of the bed, expecting to find your warm body, only to be disappointed with cold sheets. Christen rubs her eyes and sits up, but before she could call out to you, you enter the bedroom, carrying a tray with two bowls and a cup of coffee.

“Good morning, sunshine.” You smile, leaning down to give your girlfriend a peck. “Brought you some breakfast in bed.”

“Thanks, babe.” Christen’s heart melted, as she looks to see what you made. “Aw, and you even made my favorite.”

“Yup.” You playfully boast and wink. “Your favorite for my favorite.”

Your girlfriend can’t help but giggle at your cheesiness. “Well, thank you. I appreciate it, love.”

Right as you go to take a bite, Christen grabs your wrist. “Wait.”

“Whatttttt?” You whine like a child.

“Lemme take a photo.” She explains gently, ignoring your antics.

You roll your eyes, as she takes a photo of your bowls and posts it to her Instagram story:

The two of you spend the rest of the morning in bed, eating breakfast, giggling, catching up, and just enjoying each other’s much missed presence.

—————

Later that afternoon, as the two of you were doing your separate tasks, Christen preoccupied with re-inc and you with your article for the tribune, you finish typing your thought and shut your laptop. You get up from the sofa and approach your girlfriend, who’s sitting at the kitchen counter, wrapping your arms around her waist and resting your chin on her shoulder.

“You almost done?”

“Almost.” Christen hums, smiling slightly, as you kiss her shoulder and then her neck, making your way up to her cheek.

“I’m bored.”

Christen finishes writing her email and then turns around to face you. “Well, what do you wanna do?”

“You’re done?” You ask, feeling slightly guilty from pulling her away from her work, knowing she had more to do.

“I can be, if you offer up a better alternative.” Christen teases.

“Oh, I definitely have something better to offer.” You smirk and bring her in for a deep kiss. You immediately swipe your tongue on her bottom lip, asking for an entrance, which the green-eyed woman grants. Your mouths move in a perfect harmony, like a well-rehearsed dance. As you kiss down her throat, Christen lets out a sigh.

“Yeah,” she breaths, “this is definitely better.”

“Yeah?” You mumble into her neck.

“Mhmm.”

“Well then,” you pull your head out of the crook of her neck, “you’re just gonna have to wait till later because I found this Bob Ross tutorial that we’re gonna do.” You exclaim giddily, and you give Christen’s nose a quick kiss.

“Really, (Y/N)?” She calls out after you, as you go to get the supplies, slightly riled up. But when you come back, balancing canvases in one hand and paints and brushes in the other, Christen completely forgets about her frustration, as she sees your enthusiastic smile.

“C’mon, Chris.” You nod your head for her to follow you into the dining area. “And bring some wine too!”

Christen laughs, shaking her head, but grabs a bottle of rosé and two glasses.

“So what scene are we painting?”

“‘Island in the Wilderness.’” You scroll through YouTube until clicking on the video.

“Sounds hard.” Christen states hesitantly, as she pours some wine for the both of you.

“Eh, it probably is, but that’s the fun of it.” You shrug, thanking her, as she hands you your glass.

“Whatever you say, babe.”

While you’re setting up the canvases on easels and open up the necessary paints, Christen quickly pulls out her phone to take a picture of the set up, once again adding it to her story:

“Ready?” You turn to your girlfriend, about to start the video. Christen nods and picks up one of the brushes.

About 10 minutes into the tutorial, you lean back into your chair, frustrated by the difficulty of the painting.

“Ugh! This is so hard.” You set your brush down, replacing it with your glass of wine. “How does Bob make it look so easy? Mine looks nothing like his, or even yours.” Pouting, you gesture to Christen’s piece, which unfairly looks quite similar to the video’s.

Your girlfriend just chuckles at you, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek, hoping to placate you. “(Y/N/N), yours is looking great.”

“You have to say that. You’re my girlfriend.” You huff jokingly.

Christen ignores you and continues to watch Bob paint some trees just by flicking his brush back and forth.

Having given up on your own painting, you sit back and watch your girlfriend gracefully paint. You soon become bored, Bob Ross’s soothing voice almost putting you to sleep, so you grab one of your brushes. Reaching out, you poke Christen’s cheek, dotting blue paint across the side of her face.

Her jaw drops, and she turns to face you, as you have to stifle your laughter.

“You did not just do that.” She glares at you, readying her own brush, and before you know it, you have a stripe of green paint down your nose.

You raise your eyebrows at your girlfriend and then narrow your eyes. “Oh, it is so on.” You reach out in front of you and dip your hands in paint, and you see Christen out of the corner of your eye doing the same.

Before she could prepare herself, you’re smearing paint up and down her arms.

“Hey!” Christen shouts. “That’s not fair. I wasn’t ready.”

“All is fair in love and war.” You cheekily smirk.

“Alright, if you wanna play that way…” Christen trails off, as she cups your cheeks with her painted hands, squishing them together, effectively rubbing paint all over your face. “There you go, love.”

“That’s it. You are so getting it.” You wipe your mouth, where some paint had gotten.

Christen squeals and goes to run away, causing you to chase after her. Catching up to her, which is no easy task, fortunately for you, the forward had been wearing socks, you wrap your arms around her waist and pick her up. You nuzzle your nose in the crook of her neck, effectively spreading the paint.

“(Y/N), my clothes!” Your girlfriend exclaims in between laughs.

“It’ll wash out. And if not, I’m pretty sure you have like at least ten other shirts just like that.” You set the other woman back down on the floor, and she turns to wrap her arms around your neck.

“I love you, (Y/N).” She says with a giant grin on her face.

“I love you too, Christen.” You rubs your nose against hers, snorting when you see paint end up on her nose. “You’re more beautiful than any art piece.”

Christen giggles and brings you in for a sweet kiss. Pulling away, she backs away from you, slowly turning around to head to down the hallway.

“I think I could use a shower now.” Christen reaches for the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head. Looking over her shoulder, she throws you a wink, as she unclips her bra. “You coming?”

Your eyes widen at the sight of the smooth skin of your girlfriend’s back. Shaking your head, you knock yourself out of your stupor and eagerly follow Christen into the bathroom, almost tripping on your own two feet.

—————

About twenty minutes later, the two of you are clean, having gotten rid of nearly all the paint off your bodies. As you’re going to get dressed, you notice Christen changing into a pair of sweat shorts.

“Babe, you might wanna change into something a little warmer.”

“What? Why?” Christen furrows her eyebrows, tilting her head in confusion. “What’s wrong with my shorts?”

“You mean besides the fact that they’re mine?” You tease, earning a blush from your girlfriend. “We’re going out.” You tell her succinctly.

“What? Where?”

“It’s a surprise.” You pull on a pair of loose jeans and slip on a warm sweater.

“Well, will you at least tell me what to wear?” Christen prods.

“Wear some layers. It might get cold.” You give her a quick kiss before heading into the kitchen to prepare your surprise, leaving your girlfriend absolutely clueless and struggling to pick out some clothes.

While Christen was fussing over her outfit, you quickly put together some fruit, and some cheese and crackers into a picnic basket, along with the bottle of rosé, two glasses, and a blanket. Scanning the apartment, you quickly thought of what else you needed. You snatch two of the pillows from the couch and stuff them in another bag.

'What else? Is that everything?’ You think to yourself. ‘Flowers, definitely need some flowers!’

You grab the basket and the bag with the pillows and head to the front door. “Chris, I’m gonna go pick up the mail!” While that was only partly true, as the mail had definitely been sitting in your box all day, you were also gonna go put these bags in your car and pick some flowers on the way out.

“Okay, thanks, babe!” She yells back from the bedroom. With that, you kick the door shut behind you and head down to the garage.

After having picking some flowers from the shared garden at the front of your apartment building, putting everything in the trunk, and grabbing the mail, you reenter your apartment.

“What took so long?” Christen asks with no malice in her voice.

You look up from the mail, and your breath hitches. Your girlfriend was wearing a simple outfit, a pair of light-washed jeans and a sherpa quarter zip, and her curly hair was in a half-up-half-down bun. While it may be simple, her beauty never failed to take your breath away.

“(Y/N)?” She pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry,” you shake your head, “I ran into Jerry, and he wanted to know, and I quote, ‘where the hell’ I’ve been.”

Christen chuckles. “Of course he did.”

Jerry was the doorman and was very excited when he found at that Christen Press and (Y/N) (Y/L/N) would be living in the building, as he was a huge fan of women’s soccer.

“So, you ready?” You reach out to take your girlfriend’s hand.

“Yup.” She squeezes your hand. “You still not gonna tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope.” You quip. “You’ll just have to be patient, my love.”

“Fine.” Christen pouts, and you kiss her cheek, wiping the frown off her face.

—————

It was about a fifteen minute drive to the beach from your apartment, and when Christen recognized the familiar route, she piped up.

“We’re going to the beach?”

“Mhmm.” You hum. “You’re too smart for your own good, Press.”

“That’s what happens when you go to Stanford.” Christen teases, knowing your distain towards the school, you yourself having gone to Cal.

“Whatever.” You mumble under your breath, earning a small giggle from the other woman.

You park the car and race around to open Christen’s door for her. “M’lady.” You say with a fake posh British accent, as you hold your hand out for her to take.

“Why thank you.” She blushes, responding with her own accent.

As you open the trunk and pull out the things for your picnic, Christen’s eyes soften and feels her whole body flush with a warmth she could only describe as love.

“(Y/N/N),” she gasps, “what is all of this for?”

Closing the trunk, you give her a goofy grin. “What? I have to have a reason to spoil my girlfriend and take her on a romantic picnic on the beach?”

“I mean— no.” Christen’s cheeks tint pink.

“That’s what I thought.” You throw her a wink. “Now, c’mon, this food won’t eat itself!”

The two of you make your way down onto the beach, finding the perfect spot where there weren’t very many people. After you finish setting up the blanket and pillows and unpack the picnic basket, Christen snaps a photo of the serene setting, as the sun is almost setting.

“Chris, come join me!” You wave over your girlfriend, who notices that you’re now sitting on the blanket, snacking on some grapes.

The forward slips off her shoes and takes a seat next to you, sinking her toes in the sand.

“This is amazing, (Y/N).” Christen intertwines your fingers and kisses the back of your hand. “Thank you for this, and this entire day really. I don’t know what I did to deserve it.”

“Just being you, Chris. You deserve the world.” You smile softly. “Annnddd, I figured since we’ve been apart for so long, this was the least I could do.”

“Well, thank you, again.”

You lean in to give her a sweet kiss. “Anytime, babe.” And Christen could tell by your voice, and just from knowing you, that you truly did mean any time, that you would do anything for her because she would do anything for you.

Watching the sunset, the two of you snack on the food and sip on the wine you’d brought, conversing about plans for the holidays and the upcoming Olympics.

At the break of your conversations, as you sit in silence, watching the waves crash and the last rays of sun reflect across the water, you feel your phone buzz. Checking the screen, you see it’s a text from Megan, and you chuckle in amusement but also in confusion.

“Chris, do you know why Pinoe texted me saying: ‘Thanks for making me look bad with all your romantic gestures. Now Sue is badgering me, asking why I never do stuff like that for her.’?”

“Um, I have no idea.” Christen looks down, suddenly finding the sand incredibly interesting.

“Hmm, okay.” You eye your girlfriend suspiciously, as you text your teammate back, asking her what she’s talking about. Seconds later, you get a response telling you to check Christen’s Instagram story. Opening the app, you click on your girlfriend’s posts and notice she’s documented the activities throughout your day, from breakfast in bed to painting Bob Ross to your romantic picnic.

Looking up from your phone, you turn to Christen and see she’s still fiddling with the grains of sand.

“Chris?” You gently coax. “Is this what Pinoe was talking about?”

She nods, feeling embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no,” you grab her hands, guiding her to look at you, “I’m not mad at you, baby, not at all.”

You weren’t angry or upset with her for posting those pictures, as your relationship wasn’t a secret to anybody, but you knew this wasn’t like Christen at all. You knew your girlfriend was a very private person, not one to post or flaunt your relationship on social media, and you respected her decisions and boundaries, being a somewhat conserved person as well.

“I’m just surprised, that’s all.” You continue, gently brushing a loose hair out of her face. “What brought this on?”

Christen murmurs something under her breath.

“I’m sorry? I didn’t quite catch that.”

She takes a deep breath and repeats herself. “I wanted to show everyone that you’re mine. I know it’s stupid, but I was a jealous of Sofia and how you two got to spend so much time together. And I know that you would never ever cheat on me, I know that, (Y/N), but it just sucked that I couldn’t be with you for the past two months, so I just wanted to show people that—“

You bring your girlfriend’s face closer to yours and kiss her, cutting off her rambling. Leaning your forehead against hers, you look deeply into her eyes.

“I love you, Christen. And being away from you for these past two months absolutely sucked because you’re my home, Chris, as cheesy as that sounds it’s true. I’m sorry if I did anything to make you feel like I was ignoring you by spending time with Sofia. I love you and only you.”

Christen shakes her head. “No, (Y/N), you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. I was just frustrated by this whole pandemic and not being able to spend time with you.”

“Me too, Chris, me too.” You pepper her face with kisses, causing her to throw her head back giggling.

“And I’m sorry if me posting stuff from our day made you uncomfortable.” Christen apologizes sincerely, before nudging you with a slight smirk on her face. “I just wanted to show off my amazing romantic girlfriend to the world.”

You let out a hearty laugh. “I don’t mind being shown off, babe, not at all.”

“Good, because I plan on doing it for a long time. You’re stuck with me.” She sticks out her tongue at you, earning a fond smile.

“Lucky me.”

[korissideblog]

working on a longer fic rn and felt like i needed to post something <3

today we've got Aito, Lupe, Sato Sensei (@dantelionwishes ) and a mentioned Ikuto (@the-heartbeat-hero ) <3

[no warnings from this fic! just gets a little sad at the end, but it's still a happy ending!]

[also no art for this one, still working on my art for compound's fic <3 next fic may have a couple sketches though!]

Click-tak

Click-tak

Click-tak

It was easy to tell when Lupe and Aito were walking towards the classroom, between the mother’s white cane and the heels of Aito’s boots, the two could be heard from down the hall. Aito perked up immediately when she saw Sato Sensei, but stayed obediently at his mother’s side instead of her usual aimless wandering around the classroom.

“Sato San, I’m happy we could meet,” Guadeloupe said, smiling as her eyes focused vaguely on the area of Sato’s desk. She was led by her daughter to a chair that Sato had set up for parent teacher conferences.

“This is Sato Sensei,” Aito said, focusing on her mother. “He’s a tallish man with brown hair and-” Aito started to describe Sato, but was stopped by his mother

“I’ve read up on him angel, you go wait for me in the hallway, yes?” Lupe asked, kissing her cheek and watching as Aito sprung from her side, quickly skipping out of the classroom. “Sorry about that, he’s just a bit wound up right now.” Lupe said, chuckling with a bit of exhaustion.

“Oh, don’t worry, I know how he can be.” Sato said, politely, but with the same tinge of general tiredness. “She’s a good kid, just a bit too much energy from time to time. Speaking of, I have her grades right here.” he continued, flipping through a file with a few other report cards till he found one for Takao, Aito. “He’s doing well, low Bs and high Cs. I started pairing him with my more advanced students, and she seems to match their pace well. She just needs the motivation to work.” Sato explained in the vague way that teachers were supposed to when they had no idea what to do with a student.

“Ah, yes,” Lupe said, immediately recognizing the tone. “She’s very good at keeping up when faced with a competitor. Aito used to come to work with me, and I would see her learn something from one of my students and replicate it almost perfectly. I’m sure he’s got the smarts, he just needs a reason to show it off.” Lupe offered, tapping her finger on the desk, as if she wanted to say something, but was a bit nervous to bring it up. “Uh, I’m sure you’re not in charge of this, Sato San, but… Aito’s medication…?”

“Yes, Takao san, I’ve seen your note. Aito’s been taking it regularly.” Sato said, reassuringly.

“And you’ve been-”

“Wrapping it in little pieces of cheese, yes.”

“And when he-”

“Gets bored of cheese, switch to ham. Yes, I keep a careful eye on Aito.” Sato chuckled, looking out the classroom’s windows to Aito waiting patiently in the hallway. Guadeloupe’s visits always seemed to calm the boy down in ways Sato’s never seen. If he had asked Aito to wait in the hallway, she’d have wandered to the other side of the school before Sato could get to her, but by just a simple request from his mother, he seemed to have grown almost docile, staring at his feet as he waited. Aito perked up a bit, looking down the hallway and smiling, waving to someone walking up to her.

“Ah, Ikuto Maekawa. He’s a quiet boy from 1-Y, the classroom next to ours.” Sato said, gesturing to the student who had approached Aito.

“Yes, I’ve met him before. I’m glad Aito has good friends, I was worried that he would fall into some sort of delinquent gang or…” Lupe trailed off, watching her son carefully as he spoke to Maekawa.

“She’s going to steal from him.” she said quietly.

“How can you tell?” Sato assumed the same thing, but that was just because of her track record. If Guadeloupe had some sort of knowledge he didn’t, he definitely wanted to know.

“Look at her ear.” she said, pointing to Aito. “Her left one. It has a small tick. It’s only about a couple degrees, and it’s fairly random-about 40 bpm- but it’s noticeable when you look for it.” she explained. Sato looked at the ear and noticed it wasn’t moving at all, and caught on to Lupe’s strategy. “She’s thinking about how she looks right now.”

“And he’s thinking about it because he’s trying to look innocent.” Sato finished, watching Aito put her arm over Ikuto’s shoulders, something she did normally, but also noticed how quickly her hands moved while she talked- again, something completely normal for her- but also something she did when she wanted her target to lose track of her hands. “I’ll call her over-”

“No no, if you tell her you caught her, she’ll feel bad.” Lupe said, reaching out and taking Aito’s report card in her hands. “You have to make it seem like you didn’t even notice. Give her something else to do, and make it more interesting or important than stealing.” she advised.

“Aito, can you come here for a second? I can’t read this very well.” she called out into the hallway, Aito perking up at the mention of her name and immediately appearing at his mother’s side. “This right here, what is it?” Aito quickly explained that it was just general information that the school needed, like her student ID and contact numbers, and read it all aloud till his mother stopped him. “Thank you, you can go back to the hallway dear.” Lupe said, patting her daughter’s head and watching him run out of the classroom again. “He won’t try again, it’s very rare that he’ll try and steal from someone after his first attempt didn’t go through.” she said, smiling fondly at her little monster of a child.

“Wow, I’ll definitely be keeping that in mind.” Sato said, watching her again and almost noticing the boy’s ear twitch. It was one of those things that you could convince yourself you imagined, but maybe it was just different when you raise a child. “Any more tips on Aito’s behavior?” he asked jokingly, to which Lupe responded quickly.

“He doesn’t like bright lights, and he sometimes needs to be moving to really remember something. He’ll be most annoying when he wants attention, and I think being alone for even one second will kill him.” she said, looking back to Sato. “and sometimes she’ll get quiet and stand around you, just quietly watching whatever you’re doing. That means her tummy hurts and he’s trying to be brave about it. Ask him to make you yerba buena- mint tea, ask for honey with it- and he’ll make some for himself as well. He’ll brighten right up.” she advised, her gaze immediately going back to Aito and Ikuto. “He acts tough, but he’s a delicate boy under it all. He needs to be held and talked to and loved on, just like all of us.” she said, a bit more vaguely as she watched Aito laugh at something Ikuto said, the latter looking confused about why it was so funny. “I know that can be easy to forget sometimes… because of all the… you know…”

Fighting

Yes, Sato knew. He could recall every time Aito was dragged into his class by the collar, and feared for the times she wasn’t. “She… She just sees everything as a challenge. And sometimes she challenges the wrong people.” Sato offered, trying to soothe Lupe as best as he could.

Lupe was quiet for a bit, just watching as her daughter roughed up her friend’s hair, her fangs sharp in her smiling mouth. “She’s just a clever little girl, and she doesn’t know how to show it without hurting people she cares about.” Lupe said quietly, a silent sort of pain in her face, one she’s been holding for a long while.

“She’s been making a lot of friends recently.” Sato said, hoping Lupe caught on to what he was really trying to say. “Even outside of the classroom, I’ve seen him talking with students and staff all over the school.” He may be lacking in empathy “she does especially good during group work, she’s a natural leader.” but she’s trying so hard. “I’ll try to give her a bit more attention during solo work, just so she can stay on track.” that has to count for something.

Guadeloupe nodded, a gentle smile on her lips. “Yes… Thank you Sato San.” she said quietly, a little bit of hope sparkled in her eyes as she finally dragged them away from Aito. “I trust you know what’s best when it comes to Aito’s education. If there are any problems, you know my number.” she finished, her own secret message hidden in her tone.

You have no idea how much he means to me.

Please keep her safe.

Lupe shook Sato’s hand, collected her things, and waved Aito over. Aito again ran to her side, Ikuto next to her as they both chattered on, leading Lupe out of the classroom. Sato still didn’t know what he was going to do with Aito Takao.

But at least he knew more than before.

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

I Loved Him... Once - CH 1

Title: I Loved Him... Once

Author: jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Heid (Aaron Hotchner x Spencer Reid)

Rating: This ones General but eventually as the series goes it will be Explicit

Tags: canon typical violence and gore, eventual smut as the series goes, angst, fluff, pining., its gunna be a slow burn guys.

Summary: A series following the team as they solve crimes and take down the bad guys.

     In Part one of this series, we follow the team as they take down a serial killer that has taken a piece of one of their own. And through it all, Spencer and Hotch come to a few conclusions and realizations of their own.

AO3 Link 

Masterlist

*** My works are not to be posted on any sites without my permission! But comments and reblogs are love! <3 Please and thanks!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1

Spencer: 

     “What we have done for ourselves alone, dies with us. What we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” - Albert Pike

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

     “Fourteen days, fourteen days, fourteen glorious days!” 

     Spencer barely looked up from the book he was reading, sat at his desk, leaning back in his desk chair as Derek Morgan sashayed across the bullpen and perched himself on the corner smiling down at him.

     He opted to ignore the over the top, ray of sunshine, mood Derek was in, and flipped the page of his book. Derek was not giving in, he was not going to be ignored when he was in such a good mood, so he swiftly swooped his hand and stole Spencer's book, eliciting a whine of protest as he sat forward and reached for it. Though he didn't make any more effort than that, he knew very well there was no way he would be able to get the book back from Derek through force.

     “Come on, Morgan, give it back.”

     Derek laughed, his eyes shining with mirth as he kept playing keep away with Spencer, “You really want it back that bad?”

     “Yes, actually, it was just starting to get good!” He made another jolt forward to reach for the book but it was in vain. Spencer’s brain might be fast, but Derek Morgan's reflexes were always faster.

     “Really, kid, you're reading…” He turned the book over and eyed the title with a raised brow, “‘The Art of War’. You planning on taking someone down, Reid?” Spencer just eyed him as he closed the book and tucked it under his crossed arms, knowing full well that the genius would remember not only the page number he had been on before Derek closed the book, but the exact word he had read last. “Now, like I said before, we have fourteen, I repeat, fourteen glorious days of vacation starting right now. And you're telling me that your only plans are to sit here at your desk, at work, and continue reading ‘The Art of War’ instead of going out and doing something, anything, other than that?”

     “It never hurts to educate yourself, Morgan, and yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you,” he replied, a little short, then tried once more to swipe unsuccessfully for his book, “now give me back my book.”

     “Good god, man, live a little, you're killing me.” Derek stood and moved the book even further out of Spencer's reach, so he just huffed and sat back in his chair again. “You don't have any plans? No dates? No trips to exotic lands to meet fine exotic ladies?”

     “When have you ever known me to ever have plans? Or dates for that matter. It's not like girls are exactly lining up to date the lanky, boy genius.”

     “Oh you're much more than that, pretty boy, you know that.” Morgan perched himself on the side of his desk again.

     “Not to mention the fact that seeing this in a bathing suit on a beach full of, more than likely, gorgeous people, is not something that is on anyone's bucket list, I'm positive of that. I'm so white I'd probably end up blinding half the beach with my legs alone.”

     Derek was laughing, near tears at this point, “Oh, come on kid, it can't be that bad.”

     “Oh, it is,” Spencer was slightly laughing at this point too, “I went to a pool party once in university and I was asked to put my shirt back on because the light was reflecting off my skin and ‘hurting people's eyes’... Derek, it was ten at night. My skin was reflecting the pool lights so severely it was hurting people.”

     Derek barked out a laugh so hard he nearly fell off the table and Spencer couldn't help but join him. “So you just need a little bit of sun, cancel out some of the white. Why not come with me to Barbados? Little sand, little sun, and a whole lotta’ fun.” He shot a quick wink at Spencer who just scoffed and looked away. “Give me two days with you on the beach and I guarantee I could get you a couple shades darker, at least.”

     “Oh, yes,” he nodded, smirking, “as well as skin cancer.”

     “I promise I won't let you get skin cancer, but that being said, once we get you all sunkissed and confident, I can't promise I'll be able to keep all those fine ladies off of you.”

     “You're not making this sound any better. Skin cancer, STD’s, and multitudes of random women hanging off of me, no thank you.”

     “Well, if you don't want to be swarmed by the fine exotic women,” he paused, smirking down at a waiting Spencer, “I'm sure I can help you land some handsome exotic men, then. I'm not here to judge. More women for me.”

     Spencer reached to the side and grabbed the small pile of papers that were sitting there, and swiftly smacked Derek on the arm with them, “Get off my desk.”

     “That doesn't sound like a denial,” he ducked as he was swatted at again, “come with me and I promise you'll have a good time.”

     “Go!”

     Derek chuckled once more, before ducking under his own desk to grab his bag, then turned back to toss the book back to Spencer who barely caught it, “My flight doesn't leave till tomorrow night, think about it!”

     “I don't need to, I'm not going!”

     “Think about it!”

     “What's the point anyways!?” He called as Derek was almost out of ear shot, but he continued anyways, “When has vacation ever worked out for us? I'd buy a ticket and pay for a room, and realistically we'll probably end up right back here in two days, four tops!”

     Derek was gone by this point, not having heard most of what he had said, more than likely already knowing that this was probably their reality, but not wanting to have to accept it. Though his complaints didn't fall on deaf ears.

     “Oh, now you've gone and jinxed it. Just know that if our vacation gets cancelled due to a case, I am definitely coming after you first, Reid.” 

     He gazed up at Emily over the edge of his book, having indeed remembered the exact word he had left off on when it was stolen from him, and gave her a playful smirk. “I am only stating statistics. If you factor in every vacation we have had since we started here at the BAU, the odds that we will have a full, uninterrupted ‘fourteen glorious days’ as Morgan put it, are less than ten percent. Eight point five-six-three-two percent to be exact.”

     “God I hate you sometimes,” though she laughed as she said it, “so you really don't have any plans?”

     “I never said I didn't have any plans,” he sighed and closed his book on his desk, resigned to not getting any reading done until everyone was gone, “just because I don't have plans involving a hot beach or women, doesn't mean I don't have plans.”

     “Oh!” She perked up and moved closer, intrigued. “So what kinds of fun are you up to then?”

     “Oh, loads!” He shifted in his chair, moving to lean towards her with his elbows on his desk. “I'm signed up for a lecture series that starts tomorrow, but the one I'm most excited for is a lecture called ‘Synthetic Metals: A Novel Role For Organic Polymers’ presented by Dr. Alan G. MacDiarmid. It's a Nobel lecture all about possible engineering applications for, and the inner workings of, organic and conductive polymers. It sounds completely fascinating! I was also thinking of taking a trip to Colonial Williamsburg. I mean, how amazing would it be to walk the same streets as Thomas Jefferson, or eat in the same place as George Washington! I was also thinking of visiting the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts. They have over twenty- two thousand works on display that are largely focused on modern and contemporary art, especially with a focus on European art after the nineteen hundreds. They are also having a workshop there next week focusing on-”

     “Woah, woah, take a breath,” she laughed a bit, then asked with a hint of concern, “aren't you doing anything that doesn't involve… learning? Like, no info intake, no lecture series, no workshops, just relaxing? Letting your brain just take a break?”

     Spencer pouted his bottom lip in thought then looked back up to Emily, “No? Why would I want to waste two weeks doing nothing when I could spend them increasing my knowledge?”

     “Wouldn't you want to sit back and…” She stared confusedly at an equally confused Spencer, then just shook her head with another laugh, “Nevermind, look who I’m talking to. Of course you would think that spending two weeks learning would be an ideal vacation. To each their own I guess, right.”

     He just nodded, picking his book up again as she moved away from his desk.

     “Well, have fun with your jam packed knowledge filled two weeks, see you in fourteen days.”

     “Or in two to four days. Don't forget the eight point five-six-three-two percent chance that I will see you before-”

     “Blah, blah, blah!” She covered her ears as she walked away from him, “Can't hear you, already on vacation!”

     “Very mature,” though he was smiling, “have fun with your mother.”

     She threw a quick wave at him then disappeared. When she was finally gone, he sat back in his chair with a content sigh. Now that Emily was gone, it was just himself, Rossi, and Hotch who were left in the office, and he knew there was a very low chance that either of them would interrupt him to inquire about his vacation plans. He was finally able to finish his book in peace before catching the last train home. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

     “Knock, knock.” 

     Aaron looked up from where he had been bent over the front of his desk, the pile of papers he had been sorting through covering every inch of it, and towards the door. “David, come in.”

     The man did, eyeing the mess, but merely stood in the middle of the room and tucked his hands into the pockets of his very expensive suit. “Always one of the last to leave, huh?”

     “Has everyone gone?” Aaron asked without looking up this time.

     “Everyone except the usual suspect.”

     “Reid.” Aaron sighed. ‘Not last to leave,’ he thought. Spencer always seemed to still be there, even in the late late hours of the night. After a case, before vacation, even sometimes during vacation. Aaron always felt bad for the man, worried that he was lonely, though nowadays he could relate. 

     “I overheard him talking with Emily and Derek before they left. His most exciting plans seem to have something to do with a Nobel lecture series,” Rossi moved closer, taking up the chair in front of Aaron’s desk, “that kid needs to learn how to slow down and relax, I'm worried he might burn out someday if he doesn't. He should go out, have some fun from time to time.”

     “Well I'm not much better,” Aaron turned, leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, now facing David, “my plans for the next two weeks pretty much consist of staying home, catching up on more paperwork, and if I can swing it with Haley, taking Jack for a few days. If I play my cards right, the park will be the most exciting adventure of my vacation. I'm not exactly going out to paint the town red either.”

     “Yeah, you two are wild,” he drawled with a smirk, “you know, maybe a date would do the kid well. Loosen him up a bit.”

     Aaron eyed him warily with a tilt of his head, seeing right through his attempted ruse, “What exactly are you suggesting?”

     “Perhaps, while you both have the time off, you and Spencer could plan something together.” Aaron closed his eyes with a sigh and shifted, opened his mouth to say something in protest, but David beat him to it, hands up to stop him. “I'm just saying, you're the only two people on the team that aren't out of town for the next two weeks. I’ll be in Italy visiting family, JJ is taking her family camping, Prentis is visiting her mom, Garcia is, quote, ‘on a shopping tour of all the best malls in the northern hemisphere’, and Morgan is hitting the beach in Barbados. That leaves you and Reid. So all I'm saying is that maybe you can stop fantasizing about the kid and actually do something about your infatuation.”  

     Aaron just gaped at his friend, shocked, speechless for the first time in as long as he can remember. “I… how…” Was the only thing he was able to manage to stutter out.

     David just smiled up at him mischievously and stated, “I'm a profiler, Aaron, and a damn good one. I've seen the way you look at Spencer, the way you stick close to him, and it's very obvious you care about him. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out, yet ironically the only one to not have figured it out yet is the only actual certified genius.”

     Aaron still didn't know what to say. He had never told anyone about how he felt about Spencer. It was hardly appropriate for him to attempt to pursue the man considering he was his superior, not to mention older than him. Something that had plagued him since the very day he met the cute, quirky doctor on his first day with the BAU. 

     “I can tell you're over-thinking, Aaron.” Rossi speaking brought him out of his small internal panic and he looked down at him. “What is it? That you're his boss? Strauss?”

     He shifted, crossing his arms impossibly closer to his chest. No point in denying it now. “A bit of both, I guess. Not to mention the age difference between us.”

     “First off, I wouldn't worry about Strauss. If anything were to happen between you and Spencer, as long as you navigate the correct channels and immediately disclose your relationship, sign the proper papers, then there is nothing Strauss can do against either of you or your jobs. As for you being his superior, I wouldn't even give that a second thought. No one on our team would think anything of it, no one would ever even entertain the thought that you took advantage, and neither would Spencer.” David then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he spoke. “And the age gap, who cares. Love, is love, is love. Take it while you've got it and don't ever let it go. Age is but a number and love knows no bounds.”

     “Very profound of you, David.” He couldn't help but let a small chuckle slip.

     “What can I say, I am the embodiment of love.”

     “Right, and is that why you've been married three times and are on wife number four?”

     They both laughed, hearty and full, and for the first time since they started talking, Aaron found himself feeling a lot lighter. It was nice to finally have someone who knew his secret feelings for the young genius, and be able to actually have someone to talk to and confide in about it. 

     Rossi's phone ringing broke the moment though, and he reached into his pocket, just looking at the screen and not answering. “Well, my ride to the airport is here. I will see you in two weeks, do not call me.”

     Aaron let loose one last light chuckle, moving along with Dave to see him out. With a smile and a pat on the back as they reached the door he said, “I'll try not to, enjoy your time in Italy.”

     “Oh I intend to,” he opened the door, then turned back at the last minute, “but do me a favor will ya. Don't call me, but do call Spencer.”

     Aaron just smiled, gave Dave a small push out the door, and answered, “Good bye, David.”

     Once he was out the door and down the stairs, Aaron closed the door and took a step to the side to watch him cross the bullpen. He gave a quick goodbye to Spencer as he passed, and then he was gone. Then his eyes wandered over to the last person left besides himself, still sitting alone at his desk, leaned back reading his book. He sighed, watching Spencer for a moment longer before thinking to himself, maybe David was right. Why should he worry about all that other nonsense? Besides, he would never know if Spencer felt the same unless he asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Aaron finally finished organizing the paperwork explosion on his desk, filing away what was finished and adding the rest to his bag, then was finally able to head out. 

     It had been a good two hours since Rossi had left his office, leaving Aaron with all kinds of things to think about, and the man that those thoughts were all about was still sitting in the same spot he had been in since vacation officially began. Though now, Spencer was already halfway through his second book. 

     As he passed him, the younger man not even so much as lifting his eyes from his book, he said a quiet, “Have a good vacation, Reid.”

     “You too, Hotch,” he answered back, and Aaron just about kept walking, but stopped himself at the last minute and turned back.

     They were currently alone, no one else around but him and Spencer, so now was just as good a time as any. “Reid…”

     At the questioning tone to his name, Spencer looked up at Hotch who was now standing right in front of him, “Yeah?”

     “I… I was…'' Spencer was still looking up at him with concerned eyes, a furrowed brow, and if Aaron was being honest, a super cute frown. Now, what Aaron wanted to say was ‘Spencer, I know that you and I are the only two who will be remaining in town for the duration of our vacation time, and I was wondering perhaps, if you would like to take advantage of the fact and allow me to take you out to dinner tomorrow night?’ But what he actually managed to come out with instead, was a sad and defeated, “I… I just wanted to wish you well. I hope you have a good fourteen days, and I heard you will be attending a lecture series, I hope it's informative.”

     “Right…” Hotch couldn't be certain, but he was sure that Spencer almost looked… disappointed? “An-anything else?”

     “... No, I don't believe so.” And before he could stumble his way through any more embarrassing sentences he quickly said, “Good night,” and left before Spencer could even return the sentiment. Leaving him staring, still confused and a little down, after a fast walking Aaron, not having the courage to even look back as he left.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Derek woke for the first time well rested and relaxed. No case to solve, no unsub on his mind, no high speed chase down unfamiliar roads, and no showdown with a psychopath in some dark abandoned warehouse. It was just him, the sun, the sand, and two weeks of relaxing and sleeping late, eating more than he probably should and shoving as much fun into two weeks as was completely possible.

     Now, those were Derek's original plans. The plans he made before he left Quantico, Virginia for the beaches in Barbados. For the all night parties, the beautiful ladies, and the all inclusive never ending free drinks. And yet, here he found himself, within arm's reach of all those things, and not doing a single one of them. 

     Instead, Derek walked down the beach and found an empty lounge chair tucked under a very colourful umbrella. A sprite and lime with ice in hand, he stood and looked out at the calming ebb and flow of the ocean, letting the soft crashing of the waves take over and clear his mind completely. It was nice, the best he'd felt in a long, long time. 

     A volleyball skid to a halt at his feet, covering his toes in warm sand, caught his attention and he turned to face the small group of women off to his side. He kicked the ball back over to them, each one of them very obviously interested in getting to know Derek, even if it were just for one night. But to his own surprise, he found himself flashing a smile and a wave in decline of their invitation to come play, and instead took up his seat in the covered lounge chair. 

     He took a second to breathe in the fresh air, took a sip of his drink, then reached down to the small bag he had tucked under the chair, rifling through until he found what he was looking for. He settled back in the chair, not able to help the smile that spread across his face as he read the title of the book in his hands, 'The Art of War', and settled back to read it with a quietly muttered, "Damn you, Spencer Reid."

~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: So there is chapter 1, chapter 2 to come soon! I’m super excited about this guys XD

And if anyone wants to be tagged for future updates please let me know <3

[mcwriting]

The Marriage Project (1)

Omg I can’t believe it’s taken me THIS long to post this. I wrote this chapter probably in like April or May and it freaks me out to finally post but here it is!

My slow burn (American) High School AU with Tom Holland!

All the general info for this series is on the story masterlist, but I’ll list warnings and word counts on every chapter. Chapters will be much longer than my typical 2000 or less babies

Warnings: This will become a mature story in the future (no smut; more info on masterlist). Some profanity in this chapter

Word Count: 4140 (I told you!)

% approximately the 2nd week of August %

Ah, senior year. One last year of high school, one last year of seeing the people you’ve grown up with every day.

You’ve been told it’s easy. The best year ever. And yeah, maybe it will be. It’s not like you’re taking too many hard classes or overloading yourself with extracurriculars, aside from volleyball, soccer, the National Honors Society, and quiz bowl.

(Okay maybe it was a little much, but you loved it anyways)

The only real problem was the certified thorn in your side, Tom Holland. 

He’d essentially been your mortal enemy since the sixth grade when he beat your mile time by only a few seconds. 

Now, it’s not that he was a bully or anything, he was just so insufferable to be around. And yes, everyone always says boys pick on girls when they like them, but rest assured that wasn’t the case. You’d both always hated each other, nothing more. 

You were always competing, and because of that ended up in the same place a lot.

He was in all your honors classes, in NHS, played boys soccer, and did quiz bowl. The only thing you had to yourself was volleyball except, oh wait, his younger brother’s girlfriend was on the team and Tom was his ride home every day.

All these thoughts raced through your head as you walked in on the first day, sitting down in AP calculus as soon as you finished up at your locker. 

Everyone did the “how was your summer?” and “long time no see!” as students filed in. Eventually walked in Tom, and you shot each other a glare as he sat down right next to you.

“Holland.”

“Y/l/n.”

Everyone around you groaned. They all knew you two were forces to be reckoned with and probably dreaded spending another year listening to the two of you bicker everyday.

Though you were often in close proximity, you never really talked much, except to argue. Rarely did you agree unless it was on basic facts, and even then was it hard to admit sometimes.

Because of this, you typically resigned yourselves to only speaking when it came to grades so you could keep a mental tally of who was in the lead. You were both in the running for valedictorian at the end of the year, and you were not about to let Tom win.

%

The week was almost over and things had gone smoothly for the most part. 

Sure, you and Tom had had a couple of spats, but nothing that wasn’t handled quickly. 

He’d been to all of your volleyball games so far, even the summer ones, which meant he was forced to watch you dominate the court as both a setter and right side hitter.

It was a nice little satisfaction. 

Especially because you’d watched him throw some horrendous passes in the preseason football game last week that led to a loss by one touchdown. (Okay, he’d had some good passes too, but they were lucky shots).

You settled into your seat in senior home economics Friday before lunch. The class was your school’s attempt at teaching some life skills for rising adults. For the most part however, it was a glorified cooking and sewing class. You didn’t mind per say, since you could cook up a pre-snack lunch sometimes.

Most of your friends were in there, including your best friend Alexis, whom you hadn’t seen all morning.

You, Alexis, and two other girls stood around a mixing bowl with the ingredients to make chocolate chip cookies since it was a Friday, which Mrs. Flynn called “dessert day.”

“Oh! Before I forget,” your teacher, Mrs. Flynn, started getting everyone’s attention. “This year we’re doing something new for this class! Next week I’ll have you all split into pairs for a semester long marriage project! I will be drawing names out of a hat, so don’t get too comfortable yet. Anyways, be thinking on what kinds of careers you might want and things of that nature! Okay, now get back to your desserts!”

The whole room broke out into chatter the last part of the hour-and-a-half class, people speculating who might end up with who and what jobs they’ll get.

“Oh my God, wouldn’t it be funny if y/n got Tom?” Alexis stated as you stirred chocolate chips into the dough. The other girls laughed as you just snorted.

“Yeah, I’d rather lick the inside of the microwave than be paired up with him for a semester,” you replied, earning more laughter from your friends.

You assumed Tom’s friends were saying the same however, because when you looked over to see how bad their dough looked, he was rolling his eyes as his group pointed in your direction.

%

The next week came and went, and it was once again Friday. Or, as Mrs. Flynn was calling it, Wedding Day.

Every time she’d pull a couple’s name, she was going to make you both come to the front of the class and exchange plastic wedding rings and sign a fake marriage license.

Yay.

Everyone chattered excitedly as she tore up the strips with your names and mixed them around. Finally the time came for her to start the drawing.

“Okay, friends. First up we have...” she drew the first name. “Katherine and... drumroll please?” 

The class drummed their hands over their thighs.

“Chris! Come on down folks, let’s get this marriage on!”

She “married” the first couple, and then continued to draw. You had to admit that you were a little nervous, but still eager to see who you’d get.

Two couples later, she pulled Tom’s name.

You shot him an eyebrow raise to which he returned a discreet middle finger. You rolled your eyes as you prepared a drumroll for Mrs. Flynn.

“And his lucky partner is... y/n!”

“What!” you both exclaimed simultaneously.

Almost the entire class burst into laughter.

“Mrs. Flynn, this has to be a mistake,” you said.

“Yeah, can’t we have a redraw?” Tom asked. 

You hated that he was agreeing with you.

“Nope! You get who you get and you don’t throw a fit! And if it doesn’t work out in a few weeks we can discuss divorce plans.”

“How about annulments,” you stated dryly, earning a chuckle from her.

“That… kinda depends on if you have kids,” she trailed awkwardly before perking back up. “Now come on down! They always say your first marriage is the most memorable!”

“Who has ever said that?” Tom asked.

“You know. They. Now just get up here and do the ring thing!” she commanded.

You both sulked up to the front of the room.

“Okay, now stand here facing each other and hold hands.”

“Do we have to?” Tom whined.

“Yes, now do it and it’ll be over with faster.”

He groaned, rolled his eyes, and grabbed your hands, holding them loosely.

“May I have the rings please!” Mrs. Flynn asked Caroline, the girl whose desk was closest that she’d asked to be designated ring bearer. She handed over the basket to let you both choose from the mix.

You took a silver colored ring with a faux white diamond in the shape of a star. Tom chose one with an oval “ruby.” You couldn’t help but notice how every single person was on edge watching the two of you.

“Okay now Tom, repeat after me. I, Tom Holland, take thee, y/n y/l/n, to be my wedded wife to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

He mumbled through the vow, avoiding eye contact, and slipped your star ring onto your finger. You were surprised at how gentle he was, carefully caressing your hand and making sure the ring faced straight up once it was on your finger.

You, too, said the lines and placed the ring onto his left hand.

“Alright. It is with the power vested in me by this very school that I am proud to now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now air kiss!”

You took a deep sigh and pretended to kiss each other's cheeks. 

“Class, I’d like to introduce you all to Mr. and Mrs. Holland!”

They began to cheer and clap and laugh when you interjected.

“Uh, no. It’s Mr. and Mrs. y/l/n.”

Tom began to argue with you when Mrs. Flynn stopped you both.

“Alright fine, we’ll do a combined name. How’s the y/l/n-Holland family sound?” she asked, writing your names on the fake marriage certificate.

With reluctance, Tom agreed to having your name first and you both signed the paper.

Finally you were able to sit back down where your friends were waiting.

“So what was that about licking the microwave?” Alexis asked.

“Oh shut up.”

%

After your volleyball game (another win!), you and Alexis conversed over cheese fries at your favorite diner.

“Still not ready to talk about today?” she asked. You shook your head.

Alexis had been paired up with Caroline. They were both straight, but you had both been friends with her since freshman year and they got along well.

Today had just been the marriages, and next week you’d be learning more about your family dynamics.

“I’m just so pissed at him. This afternoon in senior art he told all the guys in there that he was going to make it as hard as possible for me. I mean jokes on him, he’s going to want to get an A too, but he was just so smug about it. He also strung his stupid ring on that necklace he’s always wearing. What’s that all about?”

“I mean you’re still wearing your ring. But yeah, that is a little weird.”

“I’m wearing mine because compared to some of the others, the star is actually cute.”

“True. I got unlucky with the selection,” Alexis admitted, digging hers out of her purse to show you a big square blue gem.

“I just wish there was a way to get back at him after all these years. I mean, we’ve been at each other’s throats for almost six years but nothing has ever seemed to really hit hard. This is the last year I’ve got to really make it count.”

Alexis gave you a look, one you knew to be quite mischievous. 

“You know what’s the best way to get revenge on a guy?” Alexis asked.

“Uh, no, but by the look you’re giving me it seems to fall under Carrie Underwood ’before he cheats’ directive.”

“No, dumbass. You make his family fall in love with you.”

It took a second to process what she said before you could give a decent reply.

“You’re kidding right? His family already knows who I am because of all the stuff we’re in together. They probably also know about our rivalry. I mean, he’s told his brothers to never become friends with me.”

“And you know that, how?”

“The libero is Sam’s girlfriend. She’s been spilling tea for me for the past year.”

There was a break in the conversation as the waiter brought your meals out. Once he was gone, you spoke up again.

“Look, do you really think that would work? I mean sure I’d get under his skin, but it doesn’t really constitute revenge, does it?”

“Look at it this way,” Alexis put down her burger so she could splay her hands out in front of her. “If you can get on everyone else's good side, they’ll all talk about how much they love you and he’ll be forced to listen. If he really hates you, it’ll drive him crazy.”

You thought on it for a minute as you chomped on a chicken tender. 

“Alright, I’m in. If it doesn’t end up working, I still have all of next semester to mess with him anyways. Now if I can just figure out how to really get to know his family…”

%

By the time Monday rolled around, you and Alexis had done some more scheming, but your plan wouldn’t even begin to be put in action until your volleyball games Wednesday and Friday, when you’d try to talk to Sam.

You sat down in home ec, where today you’d be picking careers. The catch, however, was that your family unit would have a set income, so each couple had to decide how it would be split up.

“Y/l/n-Holland family, you’ll be making $200k a year,” Mrs. Flynn announced, handing you the slip of paper. “Get together and decide who’s getting what jobs.”

“At least we’ll be rich,” you thought as Tom plopped into the seat next to you unhappily.

“So I’ll be the doctor and you’ll be the trophy wife, right?” he asked immediately.

“Hah, good one. I think we all know that I’m the smarter one here and wayyyy more likely to get into med school than you. And don’t call me trophy wife. I mean, what, you think I’m hot now? Can’t wait to tell everyone that little number.”

His ears turned beet red and he balled a fist.

“I don’t think you’re hot, except maybe hot shit. It’s a figure of speech.” he spat.

“Oh get over yourself. I know I’m hot anyways. Let’s just both pick jobs that earn $100k so we can be equal. How’s that sound?” 

“Fine.”

He played with the plastic ring on his necklace as you looked up jobs on the computer. After a half hour of searching, Tom and you decided that to be fully equal, you’d both take the same job as physician’s assistants.

“Just so you know, I’ll never actually be anyone’s assistant,” he said.

“Oh yeah? Ten years time if you’re lucky I’ll hire you as mine.”

He rolled his eyes. 

“Hey everyone, since class is almost over, we’re gonna wait to draw how many kids you’ll have and other financial things Wednesday. See you then!” Mrs. Flynn called out as students packed their things.

“We have to have kids, too?” Tom asked incredulously.

“Good thing it’s fake. I’d hate to see you as a parent,” you shot smugly, earning another middle finger from him that left you laughing.

%

Wednesday came kids, and thankfully all you got were twin girls, age 9. The project didn’t make you carry around flour babies or anything like that, you just had to account for them in your weekly budgets. 

There goes the annulment plan, though.

Each week, Mrs. Flynn would be drawing something new for you all that would either be good or bad for your budgets, and it was up to you to figure out what to with the funding, or lack thereof. You also had to come up with a story each week that explained why money was put somewhere or what your “family” did that week. 

 She would also be doing progress checks, so you couldn’t wait until the end of the semester to do all the work. By the end, each couple would have to give a presentation over what they did and learned.

“Okay, so we each get to name one. That’s pretty equal,” you stated, thinking up baby names.

“Well I like Elizabeth,” he almost immediately replied, writing it down on one of the “birth certificates” you’d been handed by Mrs. Flynn.

“That’s… surprisingly good. I’ll go with Francesca. What about middle names? I like Rose.”

“Hm. How about Opal? Then they’ll have the same number of letters in their names.”

You were surprised at how much though he put into this, but let it go as you wrote your child’s name down.

“By the way, we need to plan time to get together and write a budget and find a house this weekend. I have a volleyball game Friday so how about Saturday?”

“I have football practice Saturday.”

“Well yeah but only until like 10 right? We could just meet at like 1. We’re doing construction at my house right now so could we do it at yours?” 

You spoke sweetly in an attempt to receive a yes and put your plan into motion. Tom sighed and thought about it.

“I mean I guess. But you’re only going to be there to work on the project and then leave right?”

“Uh, duh. The less time with you the better.”

“Likewise.”

%

Tom and Sam weren’t at the volleyball game Wednesday, so you had to wait until Friday’s.

Friday was muffin day in home ec, so you thankfully didn’t have to talk to Tom. Instead, you and Alexis discussed the plan of getting Tom’s family on your side as you mixed up batter.

Later that afternoon, you watched from afar as Sam and his girlfriend, Julia, sat on the bleachers speaking. It was still an hour until game time and coach had asked you to round up the girls for stretching.

“Hey, Jules!” you called, jogging over to where she was. “Oh, hey Sam!” He looked at you like you were crazy before responding.

“Uh, hey y/n.” He gave a slight head nod.

“Anyways, coach wants us to start warming up. Wanna be my partner today?” 

“Um yeah. Sure. See ya later babe,” she said, giving Sam a quick peck on the cheek before standing up to follow you.

After another win, you were helping take down the net and noticed Julia once again talking to Sam while Tom stood a few feet away looking bored. 

“Hey, could you wrap up the net? I need to do something real quick,” you said to another teammate as you headed over.

“Hey, Jules! Solid digs today! You were making my job way too easy,” you joked.

You could see from the corner of your eye Tom look up at you in annoyance.

“Ahaha thanks girl. But I can’t take all the credit. You were on fire tonight. What was that like 15 aces? And your hits? Incredible,” she replied.

“Yeah, you were amazing tonight,” Sam added. 

“Ohhhkay we can stop the compliment parade on y/n now. We need to go anyways, Sam, mom wants us home,” Tom interjected, putting an arm out in front of his brother, who was rolling his eyes.

“Alright fine. We still on for dinner tomorrow?” Sam asked his girlfriend. She nodded and they exchanged a quick hug and kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow too, Tom,” you said. “I’ll bring my laptop.” 

Sam looked at him in confusion.

“Yeah whatever,” was all Tom could say to you as you strutted off to the locker room.

%

You stood nervously on the front porch of Tom’s suburban home. You had texted him when you parked but now dreaded actually going inside. 

After shifting back and forth for a minute, you finally rang the doorbell. 

It was only a few seconds later that the door opened, revealing Sam’s twin Harry. He looked confused.

“Y/n? What are you doing here?” 

“Hey Harry. Tom and I are supposed to be working on a school project today and he said to come over at this time so...” You awkwardly shifted your backpack straps and looked down.

“Tom! Someone’s here to see you!” he yelled out, making you snort.

He appeared shirtless in the doorway and looked at you blankly.

“Oh. It’s just you.”

“Just me? What did you just forget that we have to work on our project today,” you replied, holding up your left hand to point to the plastic ring on it.

“You’re still wearing that? Why?”

“Firstly, the little star is cute. And secondly, you don’t have a lot of room to speak, Tom. Yours is still on your necklace,” you pointed to the chain around his neck, to which he instinctively reached up and grabbed the ring, twisting it between his fingers. 

“Touche. Now come on, let’s just get this over with.” He opened the door wider and let you in, locking it behind you. 

As he led you down a hall covered in photos towards the stairs, his mom stepped out, almost running into her son.

“Oh, sorry.” she looked at you, “Y/n? What are you doing here? It’s nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too, Mrs. Holland. Tom and I have to work on our home ec project and we couldn’t do it at my house.”

“Oh dear just call me Nikki. And I do remember him mentioning something about a project. Are you the one he’s married to? I never thought I’d see the day.”

Tom tensed up and clenched his jaw while you gave a light chuckle, holding up your left hand again.

“I hate to say it, but yeah. You’ll probably be seeing a lot more of me throughout the semester.”

“Well you kids have fun. And Tom, honey, would it kill you to put on a shirt?”

He went red again and you had to stifle your laughter.

“I was just on my way to do that, mom. Come on y/n,” he mumbled, grabbing your wrist and dragging you up the stairs.

You turned and waved at Nikki one last time as she called up behind him,

“And make sure to keep the door open!”

He was totally embarrassed by that, and made it a point to shut the door behind him once you made it to his room. Finally you could let out a hearty laugh at his expense as he dug through his drawers and pulled out a simple black t-shirt.

“Finally. I was getting tired of looking at your man boobs,” you quipped, looking around the room.

“Ha ha. Good one,” he shot back dryly. 

You were surprised at what his room looked like, though you didn’t know what you’d expected. It was very neat with sleek grey walls. His blue and grey bedding was made up with decorative pillows laid out. On his desk were a few random school papers and a computer, and one shelf held some Spider-Man paraphernalia while another contained medals and ribbons and trophies. 

You dropped your backpack to the ground and pointed up at one figurine.

“Hey, that’s pretty cool,” you said sincerely.

“Yeah, I’m sure you think so,” he replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Uh, no. I’m serious. It’s actually really dope.” 

He looked taken aback at your compliment, and even to you it felt weird to be saying that out loud about Tom of all people.

“Oh. Well uh. Thanks. Spider-Man was my favorite growing up. But let’s just get to work.”

After an hour of sitting on his carpet searching for a house and arguing over general money allocations,

“Yes Tom, tampons actually cost like $7 for 30 of them and most girls need at least one box a month. And that’s just one factor of personal hygiene. Do you even condition your hair?”

“I’ll have you know my hair is well moisturized. I just don’t ever have to pay for it.”

You finally came to an agreement on the week’s budget. 

Packing up your things, you looked up at Tom who was now sitting on the side of his bed scrolling through social media.

“So next week. Your first game of the season, yeah?” you said, remembering that September was already almost here. 

“Oh yeah. You coming? I’d hate for you to see just how incredible I am.”

“Psh whatever. I saw your throws at preseason. But yeah, I’ll probably just rinse off after my volleyball game and head to the field. Gotta see what cuties they’ve got on the other team.”

“Ugh gross. You know you’ll regret saying that when half the school is swooning over me in the stands.”

“The only thing you’d ever see me swoon from is dehydration. And that’s a pretty weak excuse already.”

You stood and Tom got up to lead you back out.

“Oh, I think I know the way. You don’t have to take me.”

“Yeah I do. Gotta keep my eyes on those grubby little fingers of yours. Who knows what you’d do unsupervised.”

Before you reached the door, Nikki spotted you from the living room.

“Done so soon? Wow, good job guys. Come back any time y/n!”

“Thanks, Nikki,” you called back to her, then turned to Tom. “So same time next week? We can do it at my place if you want.”

“Nah let’s just do it here. I’m always exhausted the day after a game and I don’t really want to get up.”

Okay then

“Well, see ya Monday then. Bye.”

You were halfway down the sidewalk when Tom called out, “Be safe,” before shutting the door. You stopped in your tracks in shock, but eventually got into your car.

What really mattered, though, was that you were already on Nikki’s good side.

1 down, 4 to go.

%

Yay! It’s finished! I really hope you guys enjoy this new series because I’m so excited to share it with you all! Once again, future chapters will have some mature content (s*xual harassment and mentions of assault; underaged alcohol consumption) but those chapters will be explicitly labeled with warnings.

Anyways, thanks for reading and please send an ask or message if you’d like to join my story or permanent tag list!

Tag List: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl,

[devil-head]

SK8 the infinity episode 12 finale rant/talk caution

Palm trees for the commemoration of the fact we didn’t see them this time round

Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh god it’s over now (◞‸◟) why did it have to end!!!! Anyways let’s begin the final rant. The begin was immaculate despite it being clown Adam. I just love me some edgy over the top opening scenes. The way that this man scared the crap out of the tailor is funny and also scary like what if tu lo mataste de un susto and you now have to go and find another one. Mans probably thinking that if he didn’t obey their head will be chopped off. Moving on to our Canadian poutine eater and the literal embodiment of the sun. God the way that they are just there for each other all the time is something I crave man like chef kiss to that. Reki working on Langas board while on the job is mwah because mr I forgot your name but you know the store owner is just cool with it, knowing that these two children are just that passionate with skating, I wonder if he sees himself in them.

Once they got to S and Adam did his edgy reveal of his new fit and board set up is the level of extra I espiré to have. Ima be honest here I am kinda starting to like Adam but that doesn’t mean I let his perv passing actions slip by. Maybe it’s because I can kinda relate to how he was brought up and how he didn’t have much to enjoy on his own that wasn’t taken from him and that in order to be loved you have to reach certain goals otherwise you won’t receive it and be looked down on. Ya know his whole shibang of reaching all the expectations he has on him to please those above him. But idk anyways moving on the fit was noice (the mask was to die for in my opinion like sir hand it over) and the board graphic touched my edgy heart and now I want it. Langa of course was looking all swaggy and ready to roll which was great.

Now the actual race; man did it pump me up like yo the graphics was everything. The way that they moved so freely and quickly was so pretty (each episodes animation is chef kiss but I felt like this episode hit harder than the others) the “zone” that the two of them both fell into seemed so scary. How are they still conscious enough to understand their surroundings but not exactly there to stop anything from happening. This also makes me realize how good Adam is at skateboarding as he is pretty much always there, he must know the area so well that he knows all the cracks in the concrete and each turn. I got scared when Langa started to lose his motivation and just left mentally like mans was quoting again till Rekis additionally decal in his board snapped him back into reality. Adams little breakdown hit hard and I thought he was gonna lose it completely but best boy over here pulled him out and taught him again the reason why he skated. I really loved that scene because when you look at Adam at a overview level he’s just a perv on a board but when getting at his core it’s someone striving to do the best to gain validation that he desperately needs while forgetting himself and his reasons to skate. Like Langa really set him back on track to face his past that he so desperately tries to hide. I can’t describe what if made me feel but dude was it a ride.

Now at the end of the race you can’t tell me the way that Langa looked at Reki and hugged him wasn’t a sign of some love. I just need them to get together canonically. The rest of the possie was also really happy for the win and cared that he got out alive. Adam making up with Tadashi was also cute like mans finally accepted he got lost in the sauce. Now for last little clips of the episode were so cute. Langa enjoying his burger at his party was augh my heart while Adam was making a flashy entrance as always and I felt so bad for our evil clown simp shadow for finally gaining courage to ask the lady boss out just to find out she was taken like sir you good. Miya stopping cherry from hurting the little pet for sleeping on top of Carla was funny as the boss of the skate shop looked scared. Reki teaching his little sisters to skate and discovering the eldest sister is pretty good at it makes me think that he is so gonna try to get her hooked on it. Seeing Cherry and Joe have their last little bicker on screen is really making me realize that this is the end. Lastly Miya being all happy after the other kid talked to him makes me want to keep him in my pocket despite me being only 2 years older than him.

Okay but they really did the red head chick leave without finishing her case like what?! She was working so hard on it I was so ready for her to bust Adams ass but in the end he sold his partner in crime out and stopping most of the consequences like y’all did her dirty. Anyways I really need a season 2 of the main possies shenanigans like what sort of new s beefs will they do if it even continues or what is Langa and Rekis skate track like. How often do they come together I need answers. Well it’s time for the final words this post is already really long and those who actually read it all thank you. I will really miss waiting each week for a new episode it literally became a solid part of my schedule. What am I supposed to feed my skateboard addiction with now, I can’t get an actual board so I’m stuck, but you know what that means time to rewatch it. I don’t know what I’ll post now that it’s over but I’ll figure it out. I might do icons or wallpapers maybe fan art that is if I even find the motivation to post again. Anyways thanks for seeing my rants I’ll post screenshots again so bye bye

[theluckyestclover7]

VENT cuz i literally can’t talk to my friends or anyone cuz im alone and want to write about my life, this gets deep and sad

its about my current situation but i just end up talking about my high school days

lol guess who’s college semester is cancelled??? ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

i have no sleep schedule and end up getting up at noon. 

the only good thing i’ve doing is eating oranges but i think my body is making me crave them so i don’t get scurvy _(:3」∠)_

whatever at least i don’t have to do the group project/ presentation my teacher wanted to do.

im so glad everything for my transfer paperwork is already done. i can’t even begin the express how relived i am that the college wanted me to start in the fall, i can’t imagine what would’ve happened to me if i had gone there in the spring like a applied for.

im so tired all the time and trying to fill my time talking on discords and working on art, pretty much anything to fill my time with constructive stuff. trying to not shut down and become depressed like in high school cuz i still have online classes to finish in a few days.

have y’all seen steven universe future? i can’t believe its ending i swear it feels like just yesterday i was 13 watching the premier (lol when people actually watched tv) it the only constant i’ve have for so long, i literally grew up with it.

animation and fanfiction keep me going like nothing else, other people have doctor appointments on their calender's but the only stuff i have are cartoon premier dates. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the only thing i have to look forward to are the new episodes of stuff like steven universe, the owl house, and duck tales but im super excited to watch new shows like midnight gospel and solar opposites.

i keep think i just have to be to summer, all of this will be over, you can see your friends and partner. you can pack everything up and live somewhere else for the first time, sure i’ve left my home but only for 2 weeks at most and im so ready to live on my own. maybe make some friends, the life long kind that return my calls and texts instead of ignoring me till i stop trying.

ever since i was little i’ve never had long lasting friends they either moved away or lived somewhere i would have to drive to which as a kid couldn't. no one lasted more than 3 years.

i think i’ve spent more time in my life alone than with people, walking alone to the liberty after school because there was nothing to do at home.

i know deep down im a different person but i can’t help but keep grudges especially against the people around me that made situations worse. like my freshmen year where every class was full of people i hated because they treated me like shit or just ignored. how depressed i got and even after therapy and medication that my family and teachers knew about they still said stuff like, “you’re soooo smart, you can do better”, “why aren’t you trying?”, and “i expect more from you”

i still remember the warm summer nights i spent listening to the few songs i had downloaded cuz my mom turned off the internet off because she expected my grades to go up with in a day. she would call my teachers everyday to micromanage my life. i have a better relationship with her now but even after therapy and medication she got for me she expected everything to get better instantly. 

i slept through all my classes, a obvious sign of depression. i was so depressed, it was like everyone around me saw laziness instead of sadness and i shut down until the year was over

i’ll never forget summer school after i failed freshmen year, i actually learned because the teachers they had cared and how my only friends over protective parents started to like me and i got to spend so much with her.

around a year later i started this blog, and it became a place a could post my art and my art got better everyday. i could never imagine the following i have today, most of the art from the beginning still only has 2 to 7 likes and even that meant so much to me.

by then my abusive sister left for college and i finally got happier, i got a fresh start and did better in class and looked forward to going home to an empty house that i could do anything in.

the next year i met the love of my life, it was literally instant and we gravitated to each other. Ha they thought i was straight till i came ito class with a pride t shirt, that year was amazing.

and then the next year fell apart, my partner had a falling out with their best friend. then that friend predeceased to treat me like shit, i got put by myself by the new teacher and i was alone again.

but i got through it and now i’m here and i’ll never have to see any of those shitty people ever again.

it 12:38am

i don’t think i’ll ever get over the way i was treated by my family, teachers, class mates.... past “friends”.

i have cartoons and thats enough or my right now.

[little-lily-w]

Decision made

A/N: last smutty chapter posted on Breaking Purity

Words: 2 k

Warnings: dub-con, locked up, fingering, oral sex (female recieving), overstimulation, spanking

-Come on, Michael, you don´t think I´m gonna believe you, right?

-What do you mean?

-Like we are locked and that you can´t open the door. Please, you´re just trying to make me nervous – you give him a little push to move him out of your way and you grab the latch, pulling it but realizing that the door is indeed locked.

-You´re gonna hurt yourself, come back here – he warns as you continue hitting the latch frenetically till your fingers slip off and end up crashing against it. You cry out and go backwards bringing your painful fingers to your mouth till you reach Michael´s torso. He turns you around and grabs your hand – I told you that you were going to hurt yourself – he caresses your knuckles and after a slight burn your fingers are okay again – You believe me now, don´t you? – he asks cheekily and you try to dodge him walking slowly away but your back now ends against the wall. Fuck – Are you trying to avoid me?

-No – you fake a chuckle.

-Then why do you think I want to make you nervous?

-I don´t know. To hear something you want to hear – he gets closer and your breathing gets agitated at his proximity.

-And that would be…? – he puts his right palm on the wall to your side and you´re entirely trapped.

-Michael… please… - you gasp, your belly heat rising up.

-Please what? You wanted a choice? – he says gently but steady – Go ahead, slip away under my arm. Slip away and I promise you I won´t ever touch again. I won´t talk to you or bother you anymore. I´ll surrender and leave you in peace with your soul. For fuck´s sake I will even get you another room for you so you won´t have to see me. Slip away and when we get out, it´s all over. But if you stay here, I´ll kiss the shit out of you and you know you are under my rules as entirely mine.

You sob a little at his words because you know that maybe he is giving you the chance of your life but at the same time you´re not capable of moving away. Everything in him, everything, makes you feel so alive, makes your blood explode directly from your heart reaching every cell with grace and vigor, makes your feet rise up from the floor as he gets you between tears and moans but still not letting you fall. And now you are there looking at his eyes, his insanely light blue eyes that have you flying once more, lost in his gaze and in the warmth his body emanates, somehow covering you, protecting you, destroying you in a billon pieces and rebuilding you into a magnificent piece of art, and your brain seems for the first time connected with your heart, with your entire being so much that you sigh, relived, knowing that you don´t have to fight anymore

– Decision made – he says and grabs your jaw ever so gentle that all your body tingles as he kisses you deep and yearning, making you desire him as much as he craves you. Your mouth hold onto his, sucking his bottom lip as you leave all shame behind and your hands go for his hair, sinking into its softness. His heart is beating so fast that he sticks you to him while his tongue caresses yours, and then he continues his way to your jaw line, nibbling slightly the skin under your bone and brushing his lips below it, right in your neck, making you lust for it as you let out a begging moan – You know how to ask nicely – he says and keeps rubbing his lips against your skin.

-Please, Sir, please kiss my neck – you gasp.

-No – he says and stops abruptly all action leaving you like a wrecked panting mess – Take off your nightgown – shame is coming back to you but you´re still immersed in that desire state so much that you do it and let it fall on the floor as you lay your head down. Despite that, he tilts your chin up to meet your gaze and red cheeks – Eyes on me, don´t you forget that. There´s nothing to be ashamed of. You´ll undress for me whenever and wherever I request it and I want you to feel graced for it as well as proud for this beautiful body you have.

-Yes, Sir – you sigh to compose yourself as he caresses your shoulder down to the side of your torso.

-How can I resist you when you are so good? – he grabs your jaw again to lift your head and then sinks his mouth in your neck with a passionate wet kiss that makes your legs rub together. You whimper at each suction he does, till the feeling of his teeth giving you a little pain makes your moans so loud that his animalistic instincts react and he grabs you by the throat squeezing just to see how your eyes get teary and, more delightful, how you let him do – Sit down and spread your legs – he orders roughly in your ears. You don´t think much and obey, your breathing getting really loud. You are seated on the down toilet cover lid and he kneels before you, grabbing both of your legs and pulling them towards him so that you have to lie back with your nape resting against the wall and holding yourself with your forearms on the lid. Your vulnerability burns in every one of your pours as he has you trapped by your legs, not letting you move or oppose resistance in that position. He nibbles your inner thigh and you try uselessly to bend your legs together.

-Sir… - you hesitate.

-Quiet, babygirl – he says slapping you there before he resumes the nibbling. You cry out and he moves closer to your pussy suctioning every centimeter of your skin on his way – My baby was so good with her study – he licks your labia majora and you shiver at the sensation. When he does it again, you make fists, burying your nails on your own palms to keep you silent but you can´t help yourself.

-Please, Sir… - he slaps you hard again and his fingers mark appears quickly in your inner thigh, red and shining.

-Baby, you really need to control that pretty mouth or I can easily turn this into a whole other punishment.

You inhale deep and shaking and when he slides his wet tongue along your slit you let out a high pitched moan. But he doesn´t let you recover since he sinks his whole mouth into your pussy and sucks it with greed, delighting himself in the taste of your juices and the sound of your whiny cries of pleasure. His hands reach your waist and hold you firmly as the heat of his fingers and the vertical licks in your clit have you curling your toes. He stops for a second and you whine in protest, fire shining of your eyes

– My little girl is so needy. But don’t worry, I´m not finished with you – he releases his left hand from your waist and inserts two fingers in your pussy earning a loud gasp from you. His mouth goes for your clit again as he pumps in and out of your entrance, making your sex sound at the sloppiness and your cheeks burn at what your hear.

-Oh my god… please Sir! – you cry out in pleasure and embarrassment, feeling your wetness escape from you, coming down to his tongue and your ass cheeks. He takes his mouth off and slaps both your inner thighs hard, then resumes his action but more aggressively, shoving his fingers into you fast and sucking your clit with his tongue in a vehement way. You can´t hold it anymore and your belly contracts as you explode in an orgasm that sends you into violent spasms, creaming all over his tongue.

-You taste like an angel – he says as he watches you convulse –But you should know by now, I´m no god to be merciful to that kind of creature – He grabs you by the hair a bit roughly and forces you to get on your weak feet. He moves you to the sink, making your palms rest on it as he stands behind you – Look in the mirror – he speaks in your ear and you obey, your tired face and his blonde hair over your shoulders showing up – You are mine and every time I ask you who you belong to, I want you to look into your eyes when you answer me – He gives a tingly scratch from your thigh to your butt but he is quick to push his fingers into you again. You hold on the sink tighter as he starts pumping into you like he doesn´t care about how sensitive you are after that skyrocket orgasm.

-Sir, please, it´s too much – you plead squirming before he smacks your ass making you contract your muscles and your walls ache at how you grip him in consequence.

-I know. And that´s what I want you to look at. How beautifully helpless you become under my control –you start sobbing as he keeps pushing his fingers in and out of you, your insides so wet for having cum like you did that he can move them easily at whatever pace he wants to – Who do you belong to? – you look into the mirror and see the sweat in your forehead, your lips parted open to gasp for air as he keeps thrusting into you, and you are not able to cope with it.

-I´m yours, Michael – you whisper, shy.

-Seems like my baby needs some motivation to speak loud and clear – he smacks your ass two more times and you cry out as he starts ravaging your pussy – Let´s try again. Who do you belong to?

-I´M YOURS, MICHAEL! – you scream, your knuckles white at the pressure you´re doing onto the sink. He bites the flesh of your neck and you growl, watching your teary lustful eyes in the reflection.

-I love hearing that, my angel – his other hand goes for your clit and circles it earning more screams at the raw skin.

-Please Michael, please, I´m too sensitive! – you beg, feeling the burning sensation at your over stimulated sex. Despite that, his fingers twisting inside you and the attack on your clit make a wave of pleasure expand in your stomach, ready to collapse again. He smacks your ass again and resumes his merciless masturbation on your clit, not giving you enough time to breathe.

-You´re gonna shut the fuck up and cum again in my fingers like a good little girl – you growl desperate, his words making you hallucinate – Who do you belong to? – he asks and literally pounds your hole while rubbing your clit fast and hard.

-I´M YOURS SIR, I´M ALL YOURS – you yell looking at your messed up face while cumming agonizingly soaked in his fingers. He holds his hands still for a few seconds watching you balance dizzy, back and forwards. Once he gets them away from your sex, he surrounds your waist and sits on the floor, against the wall, accommodating you on his lap. While you rest on his shoulder, he kisses your forehead and caresses the left side of your torso.

-You were so precious baby – you want to talk back but your loud breathing makes it difficult – Shh. Keep that bratty mouth quiet, you need to recover energy.

He gives your lips a soft kiss and spends around five or ten minutes with you in that position, both of you coming down to earth, the low sounds of heartbeats soothing each other.

Suddenly, you hear an unlocking sound and the door opens.

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Roses

Chapter 2- Yellow Roses

Hello lovely readers!  The first chapter was posted in my ficlet collection for SaiIno Week.  I'm excited to continue the story.  I hope that you enjoy it. A few notes, it does feature a professor/student relationship but they are of age.  They also have a history that I'll explore as the story continues. Also, some of the future chapters will contain smut (I've been wanting to write some for them for a while now... hehe...) I’ll let you know when it starts.  Each chapter will have some sort of flashback to give you some insight into their past relationship.

I hope you enjoy! 

Summary:  They had history, but their lives and paths took them from each other.  Now, they had to face this new reality and change in their relationship.  

Yellow Roses:  The symbol of a yellow rose represents friendship, joy and caring. These beautiful sun-colored roses can also convey warmth, delight, gladness, and affection, as well as say good luck, welcome back, and remember me. 

Chapter 2- Yellow Roses

Flashback

“Sai….” He grinned to himself knowing that voice, she wanted something.  He looked at Ino amused as she flopped onto his bed.

“Yes?”

“Do my art homework work for me, it’s hard and it keeps coming out looking terrible.”  He smiled at her attempt to draw a fruit bowl.

“You’re right it does look terrible.”

She pouted snatching the paper away. “Hey be nice!”

“I’m always nice to you. Come here, I’m not going to do it for you but I’ll help.”  Her eyes brightened in the way that he loved as she placed herself in his lap. She’d always been affectionate towards him that even now this wasn’t out of the ordinary. Other than the fact that his poor heart was going to beat out of his chest. 

Taking a fresh sheet of paper and a pencil he placed his warm hand over hers to draw quick simple strokes.

“What are you going to do without me?” 

“As if you’d ever leave me!” She replied with a laugh. 

“I told you when we were five-“

“Yes, I know. I’m yours and you’re mine.”  He cut her off repeating their well-known agreement. Her eyes sparkled at the words. 

“Exactly.” She replied leaning back to rest her head against his shoulder. 

“Come on no sleeping let’s finish this.”

“Oh, Sai let’s not pretend that you’re not doing all the work.”  She smiled amused while he shook his head and nodded. His Ino was able to convince him to do anything. 

“You’re annoying.”

“I love you too.”

 End Flashback

 “It’s not that funny”. They all paused before they continued to laugh.

“Girls! Help me.” Ino begged frustrated. She’d gone to Shikamaru and Temari’s place hoping for some advice or comfort. Chouji and Karui had come along as well because since they’d been kids everything they did was as a group.  Instead of any kind of sympathy, they found her situation hilarious. 

Temari took a deep breath trying to focus. “Fine, what’s the problem exactly?  You were friends and now he’s your teacher, it's not a big deal.”

“Except for her massive crush on him.”

She glared in Shikamaru’s direction. “Shut up! I don’t have a crush on him.” 

“Please you’re a sucker for those sad puppy dog eyes. You have been since we were kids. You still like him.”  Shikamaru replied in that same know it all drawl that she hated so much. 

She wanted to tell him to fuck off and that he was wrong but it wasn’t worth it. He’d known her for too long and about her embarrassing life long crush. 

“Why did you wait so long to take art? I told you, you should have taken it when we were freshmen.” 

“I had my reasons!”  She yelled causing Chouji to scatter the bag of chips. 

“It’s pretty hot if you ask me.  Schoolgirl, hot older teacher.” Karui shrugged. These were the exact thoughts she was trying to avoid. 

“Okay keep your fantasies to yourself please. This isn’t that at all, and he’s our age.  Besides, he's too good and pure to even see me as anything more than the little girl that would follow him around all the time.” Unrequited love was a bitch.  He still hadn’t contacted her and it had been days. He was avoiding her. 

Shikamaru sighed. Did she seriously not realize how much Sai adored her. They were both so clueless and yet they judged his love life. “Look the way I see it crush or not you need this class and he’s a good teacher. Get through the semester then figure out whatever the hell the rest of this is.  Don’t complicate it more than it already is.” 

Ino just sighed but nodded. As much as she may still have feelings for him and how devastatingly handsome he’d become she couldn’t do anything. She’d never want to put his career in jeopardy. She always supported him that’s just what she did but her heart wanted so much more. How was she expected to just be in class with him all semester and act as if everything was fine?  And pretend that he wasn’t a ‘hot older teacher’ as Karui described and as she’d heard a lot of her classmates say. Damn it! He was hers first! 

Unbeknownst to her, Sai was also seeking advice from his childhood friends. 

“You can’t avoid her forever.” 

“I’m not going to avoid her, she’s my student and I will treat her as such.” The individuals in the room just stared back unconvinced. 

“Are you really okay with that?”  They were all friends but he had an obvious soft spot for the blonde. 

“I have to be.” 

Sakura chewed on her bottom lip annoyed. If they would just talk to each other they could move on from this mutual pining bull shit. 

“Sai, we’re happy you’re back but you need to talk to her otherwise you’ll both be miserable. Just a conversation, she deserves at least that.”   Sai was surprised at the blonde’s insight. They’d all grown up while he was touring the world. When they were younger they’d been his safety net, they gave him a sense of home and belonging. He kept up with them as best he could while he was gone but they still grew distant. Still, though being together like this as a group, it was like nothing had changed. 

He wasn’t avoiding Ino per se he just honestly didn’t know what to do. He struggled most of his life with his emotions and now being here they were even more out of control. He was thankful that his friends were willing to help him but their advice was obvious and rational. He wasn’t looking for that. He knew he needed to talk to her and probably more than once but what do you say to the woman that you loved and haven’t seen in years?

*

**

Instead of addressing it he took the cowards way out and didn’t see her till class the following week. She was there on time towards the back. She smiled while she sent him a small wave and he just nodded before turning away. He felt his cheeks flush, she always did look incredible in purple even more so now. She still loved those damn shirts that showed off curves and skin. 

The content for the day was easy enough as he began to assess all their initial skills and knowledge. It was as expected that most everyone was there as a requirement but some students showed potential. And Ino, well she tried. When they were younger she’d complain about how he had taken all the artistic skills that none was left for her. What she lacked in technique though she made up in effort and her ability to arrange colors in aesthetically appealing ways. This was from her experience working in her family’s flower shop. She had an eye for beauty. 

He smiled at her work and left an encouraging note in the corner. He’d managed to keep his normal persona never lingering or staring at her more than usual, but his body was hyper attuned to the fact that she was there. She had a habit of playing with her hair and he had to physically stop from doing it himself. 

 “Come in.” He responded to the knock at his office door. He had office hours available so he was waiting for any students that may need some help. 

Roses, he looked up as she sat in the chair across from his desk trying not to stare as she crossed her legs. 

“Ino.”

“We need to talk.”

He nodded solemnly.  “I know.”

“How long have you been back for?”

“Start of Spring?”

Her eyes widened hurt that he hadn’t tried to contact her earlier. “Why didn’t you let me know?”

“I...I don’t know..” 

“So where do we go from here?” 

“You’re my student. I will help you pass this class and we move on.”  He replied simply. 

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say to me?”  Her voice was starting to rise the way that it always did when she was upset. 

“What more do you want from me?”

“Is it so wrong for me to want some answers from the person that was my best friend, that left for years only to see him again as my teacher.  We made promises to each other when we were younger. Does that mean nothing to you? What the hell Sai!?” She stood up slamming her hands on his desk. 

He stood up calmly meeting her intense gaze. “We’re not going to have this conversation here.”

She threw her hands up in frustration. “Oh, you’re right. Nothing is more important than this job, even me. Fine, I’m sorry Professor I’ll be leaving now.” 

“Ino, please.”

“No, I get it. Just ignore me, forget whatever the hell we had. I’ll be the perfect student and leave you alone.”  He winced after the door slammed behind her. 

This wasn’t how he wanted the conversation to go, she didn’t deserve that from him.  Regardless of who they were now, she had always been there for him and she needed more than what he’d given her.  He’d lost her once, he didn’t know if he could lose her again. 

 Ino walked through the campus in disbelief at how he had treated her. She understood not wanting to cross professional lines but it wasn’t like she tried to seduce him into giving her a passing grade. She just wanted to talk. Why was he acting like this? 

She looked down at her phone seeing a notification for a text from an unknown number. 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

She wanted to ignore it, knowing that if she did it would really solidify that they were no longer anything to each other. But, she didn’t want that, she wanted him still. If it had to be like this it would be enough for now. 

‘Let’s really talk tonight, our old coffee shop.’

‘I’ll be there.’ 

Ino stared up at the sky hating that her heart lightened a little knowing that she was going to see him. 

They were right, she was always weak when it came to him. 

Today was a tough day for me and alot of people.  Writing is a great escape. If this helped you disconnect for just a little I'm thankful.  Hug everyone you love a little tighter tonight.  If no one has told you today I love you and I'm happy that you're here.

*Till the next one

Roses:

Chapter 1: Roses

Chapter 2: Yellow Roses 

[sirsapling]

Catching Up on Tagged Posts

I’ve been tagged in quite a few things recently, and if I don’t do them now I’ll forget about them forever, so I’m gonna put them all here and under the cut because my friends, this is gonna be a long fuckin’ post.

I also won't be following any tagging rules... cause i’d end up running out of people to tag. If you want to do any or all of these, consider me your tagger.

QUARANTINE GAME

Tagged by the dearest brilliant @bardingbeedle​

Answer the following questions!

1. How has your day been?

It’s been okay, a lot of my days have been focused on drawing little things and focusing on my diet. I might be getting a buzz cut this evening, that's a thing. (Edit from later in the evening when I came back to finish this: I got a buzz cut)

2. What is the last thing that made you smile?

This question made me realise I hadn't smiled today. That was pretty depressing, but I reconnected with a dear friend yesterday and that was pretty swell.

3. What’s keeping you entertained these days?

Since entering lock down, and briefly getting sick (not with covid as far as we can tell) it sort of forced me to separate myself from my student life and work life, and consider, well, me for a while. I’ve had more creative drive in the past week than I’ve had in months, and I’ve made more even with school. I’ll be staggering uploads, but i’ve made a surprising amount. Lock down may have made me lonely as hell, with a heck of a need to talk to people a lot (I finally got over my hesitation about joining the MCU 18+ server, and they have had to deal with me hovering constantly to join conversations) but it’s been nice to work again.

4. if you are in some kind of quarantine/self isolation: is there anything you’d like to achieve in this time? 

I just hit about 17 days inside, and my ideal for a time where, for now, I seem to be a lot more focused, would be to finish my long overdue commissions. The people who bought them have waited way too long, and as much as I’d like to pay them back I certainly can't afford that, so I’m gonna work my ass off at art and apologies.

5. Post a selfie! (If you’re comfortable with that!)

Ask the like 5 people who have seen my real face, they’ll confirm the likeness

Tagged by @thirstinart​

rules: tag 20 people you’d like to know better and wrangle them into answering the questions below.

Nicknames: Sapling, Sap, SirSap, Plant Dad, Captain Dadsap and the Ultimates book club recently decided Daddy Sap was appropriate and I’m gauging how to feel about that

Gender: Male

Height: 5’ 7

Star sign: Aries

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Favorite animal: Sharks ‘n’ Bears

Number of blankets: I love the feel and the weight of blankets but in practice I get too hot.

Where I’m from: From a town in England too small to sensibly name, but I now live in London

When I started this account: It was technically made in 2014, but I didn't begin posting till 2017 

Why I started this account: I originally made it to follow a lot of my friends from DeviantArt when tumblr was in that prime. But when I started using it for real it was to post art for Hellogarbagetime and sabrecmc after they egged me into making some during the AA streams at the start of that year.

MUSIC MEME

Tagged by @ayapandagirl (Tumblr won't let me tag you for some reason??)

Rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people. no skipping!

Shakes - Emeli Sandé

Don’t Lose My Number (cover) - Ninja Sex Party

In for the Kill - La Roux

Killer Queen - Queen

Swim - Fickle Friends

Underdog - Imagine Dragons

Independant Together - The Steven Universe the Movie soundtrack

River Lea - Adele

11:11 - Andrew Applepie

Reaper - Sia

A lot of this stuff is stuff I still listen to thankfully, that cover of Don’t loose My Number is one of my FAVOURITE songs

Trope game!

Tagged by @capnstars​

1. Slowburn or Love at First Sight

2. Fake Dating or Secretly Dating

This isn't a formatting error I just really fuckin’ love secret dating.

3. Enemies to Lovers or Best Friends to Lovers

4. “Oh no, there’s Only One Bed,” or Long Distance Correspondence

5. Hurt/Comfort or Amnesia

6. Fantasy AU or Modern AU

7. Mutual Pining or Domestic Bliss

8. Smut or Fluff

9. Canon-Compliant/Missing Scenes or Fix-It

10. Alternate Universe or Future Fic

11. One Shot or Multi-chapter

12. Kid Fic or Road trip Fic

13. Reincarnation or Character Death

14. Arranged Marriage or Accidental Marriage

15. High School Romance or Middle-Aged Romance

16. Time Travel or Isolated Together

17. Neighbours or Roommates

18. Sci Fi AU or Magic AU

19. Body swap or Genderbend

20. Angst or Crack

21. Apocalyptic or Mundane

Last Sentence Meme

I was tagged in this meme by @blossomsinthemist​ @firelightmystic​ and I swear @ashes0909​ tagged me in one of these like a decade ago and I didn't ever do it

Rules: Post the last line you wrote and tag the same number of people as the word count of your last line.

Since I got tagged 3 times, have one of my long gangly sentences that I haven’t been forced to cut down (cough, Ferret, cough) to a reasonable and sensible size yet.

Last line I wrote:

“Tony’s is ready to protest this, blood rapidly rushing between his head and other areas, but then Steve wraps a warm, heavy arm around his shoulders to lead him back inside, and Tony forgets it in order to loop his arm round Steve’s waist and walk with him, rubbing little arcs into Steve’s hip.”

Word count: 54

[cluttermind]

Without A Parachute (3/?) - No Judgment

Summary:  Emma worked tremendously hard to give herself a better chance. From group homes, to living in her car, to ivy league student, this English Major’s only solace was escaping her reality through books. One night, Emma comes home to find a small package with only her name on it written in beautiful calligraphy. The package contains a thick, brown leather journal. Emma soon learns that the fiction she writes in the journal eventually becomes reality. Will Emma learn to control this gift, or will she fall too fast into the temptation to change too much? With the help of her good friends August, Robin, and Elsa, and the mysterious, intriguing bartender of The Jolly Roger, Emma discovers just how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to pick up the pieces.

Rating: M 

Words: 10,482 total / 3,335 Ch 3

Read on ao3: Beginning | Current

Note: Thought it was time to finally post this here! Thanks for reading friends! I hope you like this one - I had a lot of fun (maybe too much fun) writing it. Here's a little fun fluff and sweetness and lots of pop culture references before things get ~interesting~ Next week will probably be a hiatus while I finish up some [online] finals but a LOT happens in ch 4 so I hope you stay with me. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

//

Chapter 3

“No Judgment”

I can be your lover or your shoulder to cry on

You can be whoever you like

When you're with me, no judgement

You can get that from everyone else

You don't have to prove nothing

- Nial Horan, No Judgement

Emma worked at the bookstore all day on Friday. Being there always made her feel a little better. She was surrounded by books and all the things Belle brought back from her excursions. Bell had recently gotten a new shipment from an independent publisher she had recently found. Rose and Petal Books, while stocking many popular titles, had an extensive collection of lesser-known novels from independent publishers along with a plethora of local authors.

One book in particular caught her eye and there was only one copy sent in the box. The book was bound in a soft, brown leather with its title engraved and filled with gold foil on the cover in beautiful cursive. Into The Page . There was no barcode to scan for inventory.

“That’s odd.” Emma commented to herself, turning the thick book over in her hands. She opened it up to skim the pages and noticed that it was a journal filled with handwritten content. Something about the book felt faintly familiar. While the title was beautiful, there wasn’t anything remarkable about it. She figured it might have been someone’s manuscript that was sent to the publisher that got mixed in by accident.

“Hey Belle,” she called to her boss who was at the register, reading.

“Find something interesting?” Belle asked as she walked over to where Emma was in the back room.

“I think they accidentally sent us someone’s manuscript?” Emma handed her the journal.

“Hm. That is interesting.” Belle gently flipped through the book. “I’ll call the publisher tomorrow. It’s getting late, why don’t you head home for the night.”

Emma looked at the clock. It was 8:00, only an hour till closing anyway. “Sure. I’ll see you next week?” Belle nodded and gave Emma a quick hug. Before leaving, she hung up her apron and turned her phone back on. Emma usually turns her phone off during work and uses the time as an escape from everything. There were a few texts coming into her group chat about the meeting Elsa and Robin were at. Essentially the meeting was going to run long, lots of signs needed to be made before Sunday’s protest about something or other. Emma wasn’t really up-to-date on this particular one. August offered to come help because he was bored.

There was a text from her roommate Sarah to her and Claire that came in half an hour ago.

Sarah to group: Hey, Josh is coming over to cook me dinner and you know ;) can y’all stay out till like midnight? Maybe 1 if things go really well ;) Don’t want any distractions tonight ladies

Claire to group: Yeah I’m staying with Danielle tonight - we’re hitting up the Alpha Delta Pi party tonight

Emma sighed. Her friends were busy and she wasn't in the mood to spend hours making posters and signs after working all day. But the library would be open for a while longer. She could use the computers and scroll through Reddit for a few hours.

Emma to group: Sure thing. Have fun :)

Then she remembered someone she could waste some time with. She walked towards The Jolly Roger and opened the door. It was starting to get crowded but it wasn’t too hectic yet. Emma made her way to the bar and noticed Ruby there along with a man she hadn’t met yet.

“Hey Ruby,” Emma said, smiling. She and Ruby had gotten to know each other since they had first met at the pub. Ruby was a junior majoring in art. She also hated Macroeconomics, the class they were in together, but it was filling a graduation requirement. They studied together a few times and always ended up begging Killian for free food. Emma always ended up paying though, sneaking the money under the plate before she left.

“Hey! Looks like you’re in better spirits today. You okay?” Ruby responded, referencing the previous night that Emma would very much like to forget.

“Nothing that sleep couldn’t fix,” she lied. While the initial shock of yesterday was gone, the pain, the anger, the self-doubt still lingered.

“If you’re looking for the Captain he’s upstairs.”

“What?” Blush rose to Emma’s face.

“Killian. He’s upstairs. Took the night off. Just take the stairs behind the bar, walk two floors up and you’ll be at his door. I’m sure he won’t mind!” Ruby explained.

“Oh. Thanks.” Emma headed up the stairs, and hesitated at the door. Through it she could hear the sound of a guitar strumming. Maybe he didn’t want company. Maybe he’d rather be alone. Maybe he didn’t want to see her . She could just go back and sit at the bar and talk to Ruby for a while. They weren’t super close but she could find things for them to talk about. It was also getting busy downstairs though. Pull it together Emma. She knocked on the door.

The sound of the guitar stopped and seconds later Killian opened the door. He was surprised and happy to see her. “Hello, Swan. What brings you here? A little early for a booty call no?” Killian grinned, raising an eyebrow at her.

“Oh it’s never too early,” Emma played along staring right at Killian who was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed at his chest. “My roommate sexiled me and I needed somewhere to crash for a while.”

Killian stepped aside to let her in. He was wearing just a plain black v-neck t-shirt and grey joggers. It was odd seeing him out of his work attire - a black button down with two buttons undone at the top and dark, a black vest, and slim-fitted jeans. He watched her as she walked in and closed the door, distracted by her being.

“Sexiled?” Killian teased. “Well if you insist, love. Can’t leave a beautiful woman unsatisfied now, could we?” Emma slapped his arm.

“You know what it means. Sarah kicked me out so she could fuck her boyfriend without interruption. Honestly the warning was appreciated because even my ear buds can’t tune her out.” Emma explained. She took her jacket off and draped it over a stool at Killian’s kitchen Island. His apartment was beautiful. It was an open concept with a gorgeous kitchen, a beautiful island, a ridiculously comfortable sectional, with an oversized chase at one end and a large TV mounted to the wall. Speakers were all over. The doors to his bedroom with glass french doors, making the one-bedroom apartment look bigger than it is. “Sorry for not texting before, I thought you’d be working and was coming to sit at the bar for a while. Ruby told me you were up here.”

“No worries, love. I quite enjoy the company,” Killian said, moving to flop down on the chaise part of the couch. “And it’s clear that you find me so irresistible that you just had to see me tonight instead of one of your other friends.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Oh I can resist you just fine. Everyone else was busy.”

“Ouch!” Killian feigned pain, his hand going to his heart. “So I was your second choice.”

“4th actually.” Emma teased.

“Keep telling yourself that.” He winked and patted the spot next to him. “How about a movie? Anything in particular you’re interested in watching?”

Emma kicked her boots off and flopped down next to him. They were so close their arms and legs were touching. He nudged her foot playfully and he turned on the TV and opened Netflix. She shrugged against him. “Whatever you’re watching is fine. I don’t want to disrupt your evening.”

“You’re not disrupting anything, love.” Killian responded, handing her the remote. “Snacks?” He got up, taking the warmth of his body with him and Emma suddenly missed the closeness.

“When have I ever turned down food?” Killian laughed. She adored the sound of his laugh. It always made her smile. Emma scrolled through Killian’s watch list on Netflix. Ozark, The Witcher, The West Wing, Grey’s Anatomy . The last one made Emma giggle under her breath. So Mr. Bartender is a Grey’s fan. She made a mental note to tease him about that later. Not like she was the one to speak though. Ever since August let her use his Netflix account she’s been on that binge as well. Killian tossed a bag of popcorn in the microwave. “How was your day?” Emma asked, genuinely caring about the answer.

Killian groaned. “Infuriating. It was a lot of inventory and ordering and arguing to get things here on time. I prefer working the bar to that any day. How was yours?”

“Eh, it was fine. I spent all day working down at The Rose and Petal.”

“The bookstore?”

“Yup.”

“Aye, my grandad loved it there. Belle still owns it?”

“She does. Your grandfather lives here? What’s his name? Maybe I’ve seen him.”

Killian leaned back against the island, gripping it a little tighter as his eyes moved from Emma to the floor.  “Nah, love. He used to live here. He passed away 2 years ago, just after I opened the pub.”

Emma’s face softened. “Killian, I’m so sorry.”

He looked up at Emma. “He was a professor at Cornell. In the English department actually.” He tilted his head and smiled a bit. “You remind me a bit of him.”

Emma smiled back. “How so?”

“He loved academia and his research and teaching. He always had a book in his hand. Sometimes he’d lose all track of the world around him when he was working or reading. He was a fountain of useless knowledge. He knew little about music but always asked me what I was listening to, only took his coffee black except for at the pub, and asked me how my day was every time I saw him and always cared about what the answer was.” Killian reminisced. He had spent nearly every summer growing up in Ithaca with his grandma and granddad. Killian still couldn’t believe that he’s gone. “He always made me smile and loved telling me about what he was reading. He was my best friend.”

“He sounds wonderful.” Emma noted, blush creeping to her cheeks feeling both sad for Killian’s loss and flattered at the sentiment that she reminded me of someone he clearly loved so deeply. When Emma wasn’t physically at The Jolly Roger or with her friends or at work, she was usually texting Killian. They talked about nonsense most of the time but there was something comforting seeing his name pop up on her phone after long days. In retrospect, she wasn’t surprised that it was him she made her way to last night when life had shaken her to her core. Emma knew he’d be the one to help her hold the broken pieces together. If she was being honest with herself, it still felt as if those pieces were scattered on the floor. And from the look in his eyes, she could tell he had some pieces there as well.

“Aye. Wonderful.” Killian said. Although it was unclear who exactly he was talking about as he looked at her. Just then the microwave went off, breaking his trance. He opened the hot bag and poured the popcorn into a bowl. “So what’re we watching?” He asked, reaching to grab and open a bottle of wine.

“Well I saw this really fascinating documentary on sharks the other day that I wanted to show you.” Emma explained.

“Sharks, huh? What about them?” KIllian asked, intrigued.

Emma brightened, and animatedly explained the general plot. “So there’s this group of sharks that are living in the water around New York City. And there’s this big storm that’s coming, but no one is listening to the people telling them about the storm so of course no one prepares for the storm. So two tornadoes form over the water picking up all the sharks -”

“Emma.” Killian interrupts her, turning to look at her. “That’s the plot of Sharknado.”

“Sharknado 2: The Second One actually.” She corrects him.

“We are not watching Sharknado 2.” Killian says, chuckling. He hands her a glass of white wine which she accepts as he takes his place on the couch next to her.

“Sharknado 1?”

“Swan.”

“You mean to tell me you have no desire to watch Ian Ziering fight some flying CGI sharks?” She joked. She was clearly teasing him, enjoying the way he laughed at her ridiculous suggestions. Truth be told she’s seen all the movies multiple times. Who doesn’t love a flying CGI shark and an awful romance plot? Emma and her friends had multiple drunk movie nights last semester to watch them all. They provided a good laugh.

Killian laughed. “Aye, how about a real movie?”

“A REAL movie?” Emma feigned offense. “Clearly you have no respect for low-budget disaster films.” She grabbed a handful of popcorn, popping some into her mouth.

Killian nudged her playfully. “I think the low budget disaster movies have no respect for the viewers.”

“That’s the point! But fine.” Emma paused, thinking of a movie. “How about Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No?”

“Again with the flying sharks! You know that you have not listed a single shark documentary yet, love.” Killian jokes, taking a sip of wine.

“What about The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society?” Emma said, taking some popcorn. “It’s one of my favorites. Also Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, and The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time are just not as good as the first three so I’m out of flying shark suggestions.” Killian stared at her, jaw nearly hitting the floor at the absurdity of the existence of 6 Sharknado movies and the fact that Emma has clearly seen them all. But her actual suggestion was sincere. It was an intriguing story of love and war and literature that Emma had seen at least 10 times. It reminded her of the power that books had.

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Killian said eventually, choosing to let the Sharknado movies go. He searched for the film on Netflix and hit play when he found it.

About 20 minutes and a glass of wine later, Emma had snuggled closer to Killian. Partially for warmth, partially because her body reacted instinctively to his being so close. Killian, feeling that Emma was cold against him, reached behind them to grab a blanket, tossing it over them and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned in closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

Her favorite film about writers and readers and the power of literature and love pulled all of the pain of the events of yesterday back to the surface. The weight of her professor’s words were sitting on her chest like a boulder and she couldn’t bear that weight alone anymore Eventually, Emma spoke softly. “I didn’t tell you the whole story last night.” The words spilled effortlessly out of her mouth. There was something about Killian that made her feel safe.  

Killians eyes stayed on the movie as he rubbed his thumb reassuringly over her shoulder. “Aye, I figured.” He wasn’t about to push her to tell him. He wanted to let her know that he saw her and that she could some to him on her own terms.

“Professor Gold told me I shouldn’t be a writer. That I don’t have what it takes and that I should consider another career.” This caught Killian’s attention. He shifted so he was looking right at her.

“What?!” Killian’s accent was thick with concern.

“He was apparently doing me a favor.” Her eyes were wet. Control was slipping from her grasp. She desperately needed to let go. Emma had tried so desperately to tell herself that none of her professor’s words mattered, to pretend like they didn’t affect her. Truth be told, she barely slept last night, constantly being woken up by recurring thoughts that he was right, that she wasn’t good enough, that she was a fraud.

“What kind of person thinks that’s a bloody favor?” Killian interrupted the tightening spiral of her thoughts.

Emma paused, letting the spiral start to slowly unwind. “What if he’s right?” She whispered. The question she’d been asking herself she had finally said out loud. A single tear escaped from her eye that Killian was quick to wipe away.

“He’s wrong. And you’re too stubborn to let him be right.”

“I just - I don’t know if I can do this.” Emma fell apart. She had held everything together until this moment. She didn’t know if she had what it took to survive Cornell. She didn’t have the support system most people had and she certainly didn’t have the resources others did growing up. Her average grades weren’t helping her imposter syndrome. What if she was here by mistake? What if she would never be good enough? What if she didn’t deserve to be here? Tears escaped her eyes faster than Killian could wipe them away.

Killian pulled her close, rubbing her back. “Shhh, love. Shhh. Yes you can.” He kissed the top of her head. Why? He had absolutely no idea. He hoped it would comfort her. “You made it this far. You got here. You got to this point. Fuck what Gold says. Fuck what anyone says.” Emma let herself relax into his arms locked tightly around her as she choked on sobs, tears falling to his shirt.

Then Killian remembered what his brother used to say to him when he was struggling. “You get to make your own choices. Make them based on what makes you happy.” He gently brushed her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Does writing make you happy?”

Emma looked up at him. “It’s the only thing that makes me happy.”

“Oi, now I’m slightly offended!” He joked, smiling at her.

Emma tried to fight the smile pulling at her lips. “Your ego is ridiculous.”

“But I got you to smile, no?”

“You always do.” Emma wasn’t joking anymore. The way he looked at her made her heart skip beats and the way he cared for her scared the hell out of her. Something about Killian drew her to him and she didn’t doubt he felt the same. He ensured she was fed during late night studying and provided distractions when she needed a break. It was Killian she found herself going to when she needed to scream to someone.

They returned their attention to the film. While Killian had no idea what was going on, Emma was mesmerized, whispering some of her favorite lines under her breath along with the movie. Killian spent more time watching her than the move, enamored by the way she memorized her favorite parts, the way her brow furrowed when characters she didn’t like appeared, the way she gently hit his chest to shush him every time he attempted to ask what was happening or who a particular character was.

Eventually the movie ended. Emma reluctantly sat up, sighing as she removed herself from Killian’s arms and the warmth of his body.

“Thank you for letting me interrupt your evening. It was nice to be in a bubble for a bit and feel something other then . . . I don’t even know.” Emma said quietly. Killian turned to look at her.

“Then stay in the bubble for a while longer, love.” He held his arm out to her and she settled against him. Emma rested her head on Killian’s chest, draping her arm around his waist. His fingers traced lazy circles on her back. He wanted to be her escape, her bubble where things were good and where she could cry if she needed to. And she had the urge to be his.

For a while they laid like that - content in each other’s arms, clueless to the world around them, shutting out all the pain they both felt. In time they fell asleep for the most restful night either of them had in a long time.