#I know I never hurt friend A’s feelings so idk why his bf came at me so aggressively and THEN friend B starts subtweeting about me saying

[tiredsadpeach]

I’m so lost lol

[teawithnosugar]

hiii! loooove your writing <3

Would you ever write a one-shot where reader has a bf but is sneaking around with Ellie and Ellie finally gets fed up with it, like why don’t you just leave him?? But then we find out reader is too afraid to dump him because maybe he hurts/threatens reader?

Idk I feel like this could sting but in the best way 🫣

Not Too Late

Ellie x Reader

CW: angst/comfort....I think, abuse, cheating WORDS: 0.9k SYNOPSIS: You aren't as unreasonable as Ellie originally thought SONG: Lover, You Should've Come Over - Jeff Buckley

"Maybe I'm too young To keep good love from going wrong"

AN: I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS, I KNOW I USUALLY GIVE SAD ENDINGS BUT IT FELT WRONG TO NOT GIVE THIS ONE A SOMEWHAT HAPPY END

“Jesus Christ, I remember this…” Ellie said with a grin as she looked at one of the pictures in the photo album you were holding. Together, bare on your bed, you nestled between her legs, her chin resting tenderly upon your shoulder. The warmth of her breath caressed your skin as she nuzzled her nose beneath your ear. You were both looking at pictures from your teenage years, specifically a picture you took with Ellie asleep on your shoulder while both Jesse and Dina drew on her face. You had been friends for years, madly in love for the majority of it. You giggled, smile faltering once you looked outside, the sun was setting which meant your boyfriend Dan would be home soon because unfortunately, the moment you and Ellie confessed your love for each other was 2 months into your relationship with a guy who was relatively new to Jackson.

“Why…why are you still with him?” Ellie asked softly. You both loved each other, she knew you didn’t love him, and you knew she was bound to ask this question sooner or later.

“It’s complicated Els-” 

“It’s not,” you began, only to be interrupted by her swift retort, her tone laced with an icy edge. She was right, you both knew it and she’s been patient with you for the past few months, she had given you the grace of time, patiently awaiting the words you never uttered. 

She untangled herself from you, standing up and picking up her clothes from the floor and starting to dress up. “Els please, give me time-”

“I’ve given you 9 goddamn months Y/N. If you were staying with him because you were pregnant you would’ve given birth by now. Why don’t you just leave him?”

She asked coldly, tying her shoes as she finished dressing up. You stayed quiet, hugging your knees tightly as you stared at the messy sheets. Words lingered on the tip of your tongue, desperate to reveal the way he wields his words like weapons, threatening your very existence. You stayed quiet because, your mind, painting vivid images of the horrors he would inflict on you if you even told him you wanted to leave.

She groaned frustratedly at your silence, walking out of your house and slamming the door shut. You sobbed softly as you started dressing up. She always came back to you after arguments, so you weren’t worried about that. You were just sad because you were hurting her.

When Dan came home, he immediately noticed a flannel on the floor, it wasn’t yours and it sure as hell wasn’t his. There’s no way you got it recently, you had been home for weeks, waiting for the bruises he gave you during your last fight to fade. It’s the reason Ellie even came over, she missed you, and now you missed her.

His fists struck with a brutal force, knocking you to the floor. Frozen in fear, you lay there, limp and defenseless—your body's automatic response. He unbuckled his belt then used it as a whip, the deafening sound the leather made against your skin filled your ears. Shades of crimson danced upon your flesh, an artist's palette of pain. And still, he persisted. When the belt had worn out its cruel dance, he returned to using his bare fists. Amidst the assault, thoughts slithered, attempting to justify his actions, to find reason in this madness. ’Maybe I’m disappointing him? Sometimes men get carried away when they feel like they should be having fun’ Such thoughts whispered in the recesses of your mind, clinging desperately to a semblance of understanding.

Minutes stretched into an eternity as you lay on the floor, broken and bruised. Tentatively, you rose, your trembling form cleaning the bloodstains from the floor, your body seeking refuge beneath the cascading water of the shower. This had become your grim reality—a cycle where beatings transformed from rare occurrences to nightly rituals upon Dan's return. He drained you of strength, providing the bare minimum sustenance required for survival, keeping you physically weak, your spirit tethered.

Days melted into one another, your existence confined to a bedridden state, waiting for Dan's return, awaiting his whims and desires. Initially, your thoughts lingered upon the pain you caused Ellie, but as your senses dulled over the weeks, those thoughts waned. They were replaced by an ache, a longing to see her face, to feel her presence. Dan's venomous threats reverberated in your ears, yet whenever you closed your eyes, all you could see was Ellie, her face shining like a beacon in the darkness.

She’ll come back, she always comes back.

Exhaustion seeped into your bones, prompting you to seek solace in sleep, still dressed in your sweater and pajamas. You saw her beautiful face, leaning close, whispering words that were muffled by the buzzing in your ears. A tender smile graced your lips as you beheld her beauty, there was no sight more enchanting. Once the grogginess and the buzzing in your ears faded, you realized this wasn’t a dream.

“Baby are you okay? Can you hear me?”

“Els…?”

If you were in the right state, you would have enveloped her in your arms, holding her close. You would have nestled into her chest as she gently lifted you up. You would’ve seen Dan’s unconscious body by the doorframe of your bedroom. You would’ve noticed the relief on her face because she realized just how much worse you would’ve been if she hadn’t mustered up the courage to try talking to you again. You would’ve noticed the tears threatening to fall down her face because she wasn’t too late.

[bettysupremacy]

Mike Schmidt… normally I don’t go for sloppy loser men but he’s literally a sweetheart? Just taking care of his sister and searching for his brother’s killer? Like okay, a family man, get my lips onto that patchy face already !

Imo my head cannon is his character is too “brooding stressed out older brother man” to be in an established romantic relationship. I imagine he’s probably been avoiding one since Abby came along, which happened after their mom died, meaning he probably hasn’t been dating for a couple years, but who knows, maybe even longer than that….

What we do know is that he’s a guilt ridden, stressed out, protective, hunk of a man. Imagining him paired with someone less grumpy and serious than him would be an entertaining thought. Especially if said sillier character maybe ended up getting hurt at the pizzeria for not listening to Mike and he gets all protective n worried and then scolds her and apologizes for scolding her and then gets all bashful and she just teases him. Idk like a sunshine!gf x grumpy!bf way, except not dating yet, and it’s just all the juicy spicy tension

Idk don’t feel obligated to write anything I just also wanted to share the love of mr Schmidt and saw you were open to headcanons and whatnot :D

hi my beautiful anon 😊 this is from October.. so sorry about that

Anyways yes and yes and yes and yes you are right about all of this. Sunshine reader and Mike are literally the missing key to my heart. Her and abby would be best friends too. Like they’d stay up and have “sleepovers” and do nails and stuff and Mike (who loves abby a whole lot but never let her paint his nails) is just so grateful that she has someone to look up to that isn’t him.

Also the hurt thing. She’s like not that badly injured and sure! It hurts! But Mike is just freaking out because why didn’t she listen??? And oh my god your blood is outside your body and he can’t handle. But ur literally fine and he’s just a little shaken.

I love u Mike and I miss you sloppy loser man😞

[lqfiles]

omg omg omg omg omg omg im here im here!

“baby” BRO IF HAECHAN DOESNT STFU OMG HIS ATTITUDE IS SO UGH (hot) KARINA BETTER THROW THE ROCKS AT HIMMM

also i wanna know what haechan asked jaemin bc wdym he just gave him y/n’s @? 😭 no wait but the at the same time, he probably thought he was probably playing matchmaker… idk jaemin cracks me up tho 😭

“but it’s quite cute” “you know where my room is” ugh im in love with them already but seeing how haechan is, ik the angst is gonna go crazyyy 😭 (if it involves all of us throwing rocks at haechan, karina calls dibs)

BUT YES I REMEMBER THAT about your friend and tbh sameeee rn (a little lore about me 😈) i have a situation with this friend who is great btw she’s very talkative, very friendly, well, extremely friendly, and lately she’s been having a thing with this guy and mind you, i used to live with her for a bit in her dorms (i commute which means i don’t live in uni) and she would drop me if her then bf came over, but we got closer after she and that bf broke up

but she’s been talking with this new guy, i have been encouraging when she is overthinking it, and lately… it’s all she’s been talking about 😭 i try to talk about my day and it gets dismissed when she tells me something about the guy and believe me, im happy for her, but we haven’t talked for two days now and when she does text me, it’s to let me know what the guy did

okay that’s it 😋

but it’s just like… i love our friendship but previous friendships before ended bc my friends would make their partners their entire personality and would drop their friends. like what is going on 😭😭 idk but thats enough lore 🫡

But i totally get not feeling excited…

i hope everything is okay tho! hope youre taking care of yourself and are staying well hydrated. thank you so much for the update! your brain just goes crazy and i love it 😋

- 🫧

(bella is getting a new harness with a little bow and she’s very excited! she’s also getting shoes bc it’s getting hot and i don’t want her paws to burn)

(also! She’s a maltipoo right? but we’re starting to notice she spots like a dalmatian and it’s kinda cool and so pretty 😭)

(and yes, we got compared to satoru and suguru out of nowhere 🥲 like damn… it makes me sad tho hearing that comparison 😭😭)

WELL YES jaemin is the biggest ynhyuck shipper of course he’s gonna give y/n’a @ to haechan (he had no idea of his motives), bless his clueless heart, he’s so silly 😭

i love how we all want karina to to fr throw rocks at him like we need this to happen one day, karina WILL call dibs when it comes to the angst and hurting haechan you already know she doesn’t play about y/n!!!! even jaemin might throw a small rock

OMG NO…. i’m so sorry to hear that 😭😭 i can tell that this is the beginning stages of her crush, so i advise (definitely not saying you SHOULD because i know confrontation is scary even if it is with friends 😭) that you genuinely have a talk with her about how all she does is talk about that guy and how you feel like conversations w her are starting to become pointless because they revolve around stuff you’re not interested in. its an extremely shitty situation to be put in and i’ll honestly never understand why people can’t seperate their friends and relationship and not bring one into the other.

i think your friend might understand if you bring it up tho, since you said she’s very friendly, if you say that you’re saying this from a malicious stance but rather in a way where you’re trying to improve your friendship, im sure she’ll understand. and if she doesn’t, then it really isn’t a friendship you should waste your time on because it shows where her priorities are (men over friends)

anyways yeah i’ve been well i actually saw her for the first time today since she reached out to me again and it was surprisingly.. really nice.

I FIND PEOPLE WJO PUT THEIR PETS IN CLOTHES AND ALL SO CUTE LIKE YESSS PUT HER IN CUTE LITTLE SHOES PLSSS, i bet she looks rlly cute w her spots, but wouldn’t that maybe mean that she might be a hybrid? either way i hope she is gonna be happy with her new shoes and harness, a little early (?) birthday present!!

[hekateinhell]

human aus of tvc are so much fun idk why people don't write them more often! i've had this plot bunny of l/a living in a ramshackle paris apartm. armand lives above lestat and he has this ruggish bf (santino?) and the guy isn't scared of armand's friend/neighbor bc he's never seen him & only heard he's gay, blonde and a ballet dancer so absolutely no threat right? Well SIKE bc one time he yells armand a lil too loud & suddenly his door is kicked open and a blonde beefcake has him in a chokehold

I actually think about the why part of this question a lot, because (obviously) I love a good AU! In my opinion, it's because of our fandom's very complicated history with fic that has continued to influence VC creator culture today. I think a lot of people do want to be creative and experiment, but (and maybe it's just me, I don't know) I get the feeling like collectively there's this sense of waiting for someone else to do it first that will indicate it's acceptable to play outside of the box.

Whether it's beyond writing the juggernaut ships (Loustat and Devil's Minion) or exploring kinks (this is a very kinky series, people!) or the endless possibilities of AUs, there's a certain audience for everything and I find people do respond pretty well to something different! It's always with a sense of surprise too, which I find funny and interesting and little sad, because it's nothing that you'd be batting an eye at in most other fandoms from what I can tell.

But because we're a fandom that only recently has started writing fic in the open (recently in comparison to our almost 40 years of existing), I feel like we're only just now starting to be that much more adventurous in a sense. You can talk openly, exchange content openly, it's a very different landscape than it was before. So I'm excited to see what the VC fic offerings will look like in a year or five years from now—it feels promising!

I got carried away lmao I HAVE THOUGHTS, but let's talk about this plot bunny. I just have to say... the image of Lestat kicking down Santino's door like the Big Bird gif laid me the fuck out. Anon, PLEASE. 😭 (Also not a bad analogy for how he came barging into Armand's cemetery self-imposed cell, from Armand's POV).

It's very sweet to think about Armand and Lestat starting off as friends! I always imagine that Amadeo and mortal!Lestat would've gotten along beautifully (they would have both fallen into the canal lbr). And Lestat's so protective of him in canon, it translates well. 🥹

Of course, Armand isn't going to tell his abusive boyfriend much about his friends and what he does when he's on his own. For a bit of a darker theme... maybe Santino's also his pimp? Armand doesn't tell Lestat any of this, he's too ashamed and hates appearing weak, and he just wants to forget his problems in the few moments where they can hang out on the front steps and share a snack and a cigarette. And Lestat might have his head in the clouds sometimes, but he's not stupid. He hears things, sees how Armand shrinks into himself and ignores him completely if Santino's around, won't speak unless told to, etc.

Lestat's young though, and not thinking how he might be worsening the situation by acting so rashly. Even though Armand's going to be grateful later, he's horrified in the moment knowing that Lestat's just made himself a target of Santino's gang in the future. And that Santino is going to think Armand's been running his mouth to Lestat and he or one of his buddies be taking it out on Armand the first chance they get.

Insert lots of drama, hurt/comfort, sex... Lestat and Armand eventually run away together and start over in New York City. Similar crappy apartment, only they're safe and together, and they live HEA.

~ fin

[the-anonymous-vent-blog]

I’ve been thinking this over for the past month and I really need to tell someone cause I’m uncomfortable and it creeps me out a little so my moms bf I don’t like him and never have all he does is emotionally and mentally hurt her but she stays anyways about a month ago he called me out my room and I came out he started talking and at some point about his and my moms times in the bedroom and then he brung up how he was attracted to my aunt and I’ve always been told I look like my aunt and I do people usually think I’m my aunt child cause I look like her but after that a few minutes later he asked “isn’t about time for you to have s*x” I got uncomfortable and said “I’m trying to focus on finishing school” he then ask “why? You scared of an orgasam” and even before all this he told me my mom didn’t really trust him around me I would like to think that’s cause he’s not the best at taking care of kids or something but I’m a minor he’s in his 30’s-40’s and it really creeped me out cause he already said he was attracted to my aunt moments before asking me that and the fact that he’s a grown adult asking a minor that but I haven’t told my mom cause I don’t think k she’d care or she’d kick him out and bring him back weeks later cause that’s what always happens and I don’t really have the best relationship with my mom but I feel so uncomfortable in my own home and I feel bad for feeling uncomfortable cause idk if his intentions were bad but it really creeped me out but I feel like I’m being overdramatic over all of this

You are NOT being overdramatic

I mentally looking you in the eyes and staring you down. That man is fucking crazy.

You should probably tell your mother about that. Hell you should probably also tell the rest of your family so if something happens to you they know who's responsible. However, as you mentioned, there is a chance she might do nothing. He might get aggressive if you tell her. Thats your call, since you'd them better than a stranger like me.

But, I hope your mother is kinder and cares about you more than it feels like.

Do you have friends you can stay with? I am being very serious about this. If he visits frequently, or god forbid stays over, you should maybe prioritize that. If he doesn't get physically violent with your mother thats a good sign he might not try anything with you *yet*. If I were you I would not be taking my chances. At the very least, get yourself pepper spray, a tazer, or a pocket knife, something to keep you safe. Make sure to keep it on or near you. If you can't personally get it maybe someone else can get something for you.

It's important to obtain proof before going to authority. I am unsure of how it is where you live, but I know from personal experience police won't do anything if you have no proof someone is endangering you. Check the law where you live, and see if it allows you to record conversations without consent of all/both parties.

Good luck anon, I hope you stay safe.

[iihyuck]

𝖦𝗋𝖾𝖾𝖽𝗒 | 𝖲𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝖤𝗎𝗇𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗄 𝖥𝗍. 𝖠𝗇𝗍𝗈𝗇 𝖫𝖾𝖾

𝜗𝜚 pairing : possessive!bf!eunseok x fem!reader

𝜗𝜚 warning(s) : 18+ eunseoks kinda crazy idk, pretty dub con at first, cursing, manipulation, degrading, humiliation, voyeurism, cockwarming, pussy slapping, choking, slight dacryphilia, unprotected sex, breeding, anton is delusional but we up.

𝜗𝜚 : notes : ovulating

eunseok was very greedy. 

that was something you immediately noticed when you both started dating.

it wasn’t something he hid either, his possessive behavior constantly pushed the people around you away. most of your friends didn’t even want to be around you anymore because eunseok was always right behind you, waiting for someone to even look at you the wrong way, “it’s like he’s waiting for a reason to snap and keep you all to himself”, was what your friends told you. 

it got pretty lonely with your friends no longer caring for you, so you often found yourself either hanging out with your boyfriend or his friends. having known eunseok for years, they were pretty used to his controlling tendencies, so things were much easier. 

you began to think that he got over it. he’d let you hang out with his friends by yourself, never hovering over you like he used to. but it all came to an abrupt stop when anton accidentally revealed that he began growing a little crush on you. 

every time his friends came over, he’d kiss and touch all over your body just to see them, more specifically, anton, squirm. 

he was going back to his old way, if not worse.

you felt the need to speak up when anton finally came up to you, apologizing if he made you or eunseok uncomfortable about his little crush.

“i don’t mean to intrude in your relationship. it’s honestly just a harmless crush, i don’t intend to act on it at all. i’m sorry”.

there weren't many things to hate about eunseok, but the top thing was definitely his nonchalance. arguing with him was like arguing with a brick wall. you had no doubt that he’d just brush off your complaints and continue to do what he does

which was exactly what he did.

after a while, you definitely noticed the change in his demeanor when anton stopped coming around. when the group came over, it always felt a little empty without the youngest there.

but you were extremely surprised when he told you that he’s been thinking about inviting him over to apologize, when you were both getting ready for bed. 

you and eunseok have been dating for quite some time now, you basically know everything about each other, which is why it shocked him when you actually believed him. 

now here you were, trembling in his lap with your skirt covering the fact that his cock is fully buried into your soaked cunt, with anton sitting across the table, talking to you both about something you didn’t really care about.

you stopped listening to him about ten minutes ago, trying not to cum on the spot with eunseok’s cock deliciously stretching you out. 

“didn’t you hear him, pretty girl? he asked you a question..answer him” eunseok’s voice brought you out of your stupor

“i, um? w-what did you say again?” 

anton’s smile faltered, “i asked if you were still coming to the movies with us..this friday?” he wasn’t dumb, he knew that you weren’t listening to him, he just didn’t know what you could be thinking about, and it was really starting to irk him.

did you want him to leave?

did eunseok even want to apologize? 

was this all just some joke?

you opened your mouth to reply but only a whimper came out as you felt eunseok’s hands on your hips, guide your hips forward, your pussy squelching as his cock somehow sinks deeper into you. 

the smile on his face was bright as he feigned concern

“what’s wrong princess? you okay?”

his other hand pressed down on your belly, he could practically feel how deep he was.

“yea-yeah i’m just…my head just hurts. and yes, anton! i-i’ll go with you guys” you felt embarrassed. 

“you know, i think we still have some pain meds. anton, could you go grab them? there in the bathroom under the sink” eunseok didn’t even bother to give his friend a glance.

your eyes landed on his now clenched fist

“sure” was all he said before getting up and making his way down the hallway.

you whimper in surprise as eunseok suddenly ruts his hips up into you, your hands immediately fly onto the table, gripping the table cloth for dear life.

“you feel how wet you are, slut? you like how deep i am with him watching huh?” his voice was rough, and his hips still smacked into your ass.

the feeling of him hitting the tip of your cervix with every thrust was amazing, too amazing, you honestly don’t think you can hold your moans in any longer.

in fact, you’re deciding to stay quiet for the rest of the night, knowing that if you do speak, it’ll be nothing but filthy noises. 

..that plan quickly goes down the drain when you yelp from eunseok slapping your clit.

“you too fucked out already? answer me” 

you didn’t realize that he rolled your skirt up to your waist until you heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

your blood ran cold as you try to hurry and pull your skirt down before anton walked in 

eunseok chuckled at your attempt before sending another slap to your cunt. the slap was wet, and there wasn’t any way anton didn’t hear it.

tears began to swell in your eyes, “seokie, please”, you sounded pathetic

“please what?” you couldn’t see him, but you knew he was smiling

the heavy footsteps were only getting closer and you were seriously contemplating everything.

“i don’t want him to see, eunseok, please,” you were crying at this point.

“fuck baby, look at you. so pretty when you cry”, you felt as his cock twitched inside of you,

a sigh of relief left you as he kissed your wet cheek, pulling your skirt down

anton walked in almost a second later.

the boy stops in his tracks seeing your tear stained face, hesitating if he should step up to you.

“don’t worry, she’s okay. her head is just really starting to hurt” eunseok replied after seeing the concerned look on his friends face.

anton nodded, handing you the pain pills.

he then took his seat across from the two of you again.

but this time he noticed the not so subtle bounce you had, sitting in eunseok’s lap.

he also noticed how your eyes were closed, mouth open, and how tight your grip was on the table cloth.

he couldn’t dare to ignore the beaming smile eunseok wore as he stared directly into anton’s eyes

and he froze.

your eyes shot open as eunseok’s thrust grew rougher, and quite obvious. 

the humiliation you felt, wouldn’t let you look anton in the eye.

he obviously knew what was going on by now.

the moans pathetically fell from your lips as eunseok pounded up into you with no mercy, his hand rubbing circles on your clit, while his other hand, pried your legs open.

anton chewed at his lip, contemplating if he should leave. there was no denying that you felt something for him too, he saw how you looked at him, that’s literally where his whole crush came from.

you would mind it, he thought to himself.

it for sure looked and sounded like you were enjoying it.

so anton felt no ounce of shame as he slid his chair next to your boyfriends, palming his growing erection, eyes immediately dropping to your filled cunt. 

you hate the way your pussy clenches at the sight. eunseok groans in your ear, “so you’re just a filthy slut who likes it when my friends watch when i fuck you huh?”

“no” you knew you were lying, and both eunseok and anton knew it too

the hand that was on your clit, pulled back to send a rough slap to your pussy

your head flew back into eunseok’s chest as you hear a quiet “fuck” leave anton’s lips along with the sound of his belt unbuckling.

“don’t lie to me”

another slap was placed on your clit, your legs began to tremble as his hand made its way around your throat

“yes seokie, i love it so much” you couldn’t even control the whimpering that left your mouth

you let out broken moans as his grip around your neck slightly tightened, you felt his hand back on your clit, rubbing at a faster pace.

he quickened the pace of his hips fucking up into you

you felt so full.

after hearing a soft pap, you turned your head to find anton fucking up into his hand, the end of his shirt, tucked into his mouth, muffling the whines that left his throat

“dirty bitch, i bet you’d like it if he fucked his cum into you when i’m done, right?” 

“i bet you’d love it if i called the rest of the boys to fuck you too”

you turned your head, hastily pressing your lips onto your boyfriends. the sloppy and open mouthed kissing only made your eyes roll back.

“cumming- fuck i’m cumming eunseok-“

“me too, fuck~ baby”

he kissed down your neck as he moaned loudly.  

your body shook uncontrollably when you felt his warm, thick cum shoot into your velvet walls, his hand leaving your throat to rub soft circles into your now full belly.    

you smile, as he planted a bunch of kisses on your tear stained face

turning your head, you see anton’s cum stained torso glistening with a thin layer of sweat 

eunseok hisses as your cunt clenches around his now softening cock.

you could feel as his cum started to seep out of your pussy

“greedy slut wants more? huh baby? i bet anton could help you, couldn't you, anton?” the grin on your boyfriend's face only grows when anton nods eagerly.

“you up for it baby?”

“yes”, biting your lip, anton stands up from his seat beside you two, and stands in front of you

you hungrily stare at his cock hardening again.

maybe eunseok wasn’t so greedy after all, but you were.

[hazmatazz]

hello here’s the ✨ anon <3

 buckle up because oh boy this is gonna be long

it was rlly interesting reading your ramble and it didn’t align 100% with the story but was still great to read

and to clear everything up the easiet way would be to explain their entire backstory. (and i also just kinda wanna tell someone their entire backstory)

also!! rory’s bro has a name now :0

his actual name is eric but he goes by oliver because that was his dads name (also he despises his mom and she chose both rory’s/aurora‘s and his names bc she liked fairytales)

SO. first of all, yeah unfortunately rory does blame herself for her moms arrest :(( after rory & oliver’s dads death their mom started drinking, A LOT, and she was just a really shitty mother. oliver basically did everything for rory that their mom should’ve done. she only rarely did stuff for them & signed stuff for school and kindergarten and all that so nobody would see it as neglect. and one evening (rory was 8 and oliver 13 y/o) she was super drunk and so out of it she could’ve killed rory if oliver hadn’t taken the knife from her. in her mind she just wanted to cut food but she took a really sharp knife and accidentally cut rory several times. so rory (still) has multiple scars on her back & arm and was bleeding like shit so oliver called an ambulance & the police came as well and arrested their mom. at first rory actually felt kind of betrayed by her brother because she didn’t understand why he would’ve called the police to get their mom arrested (which wasn’t even his intention).but as time passed she realised it’s for the best and their better off without her, oliver despised their mom from that very moment and still does, he’ll never forgive her for hurting rory and generally ruining their childhood like that. 

around a year later they moved in with their aunt & younger cousin (1 y/o at the time <3) 

idk how all that fostercare stuff works but i imagine it’d take a while to get everything organised and for their aunt to be their legal guardian and everything, let’s just pretend that makes sense in my universe!!

oliver bonds with their aunt pretty quickly and after a few months managed to convince rory to do the same

and im pretty sure their aunt is their dads sister, but even if she was their moms sister that isn’t rlly a plot point that’s gonna come up so it doesn’t rlly matter

when rory’s 11 and oliver’s 16 y/o, oliver gets a boyfriend and spends more time over at his place, or generally hanging out with him (there’s potential for an oliver-focused story and idk if i’ll write that but it makes me excited!!) 

and a bit after that the Asshole boy (TM) starts bullying rory, she doesn’t tell heir aunt or brother (although she genuinely trusts both of them at this point) because the guy just scared the shit out of her, i’m not sure how yet but maybe he threatened her if she went to tell anyone or something like that

and at the height of the bullying oliver breaks up with his bf so he’s already feeling miserable and rory doesn’t want to make his mood worse by telling him how shitty she’s been feeling

then at 13 and 18 y/o oliver moves in with his best friend (later boyfriend <3) and they move quite far away because oliver just wants to get out of that place that holds so many horrible memories for him

rory assured him it’s totally fine and she’s not hurt or anything (which is genuinely what she believed) and oliver wouldn’t have moved away if rory hadn’t reacted that positively 

but after he moves out rory realises „oh shit i AM very hurt actually“ and first feels hurt by him leaving her and then guilty for ruining his childhood (which she blames on herself) 

she doesn’t answer his letters or calls but oliver still regularly talks to their aunt and always makes sure that rory’s alright. and when he hears that she isn’t, he sends a nice letter or a funny postcard or a cool drawing or ANYTHING that he thinks might cheer her up, he knows from their aunt that rory reads and cherished every letter, even if she doesn’t reply

(and later in the story there’ll be a loooot of sibling bonding it’ll be so good. but that’s not in the present that’s like in the future of the story, and not the main plot of floryn & rory’s love story 

in the present day rory’s 15, oliver’s 20 & their lil cousin is 7 years old <3

for rory he’s basically a little brother and they have a really sweet bond

and she’s also really happy that she lives with her aunt now, cause her aunt is awesome and supportive and she loves her and i love her

okay this ended up SO long and i’m not gonna checks nothing bc hell no it’s too long for that. sorry it took a while to write, but i’m actually super happy to have written down her entire family story omg 

it’s not insane but i am kind of proud of myself <3

ANYWAYS this is hella long so don’t stress yourself abt responding quickly or what to respond or whatever, i hope you have a great day and ty for letting me ramble SO much 

✨

oyfgggg so sorry i've been moving rooms in my house and i had totally forgot about this!!

they're soooo sad...i'm also imagining their mom rlly disliking the fact oliver picked up his dad's name

and then the miscommunication/secrecy for rory and her brother? ow ow ow ow... i can see oliver confiding in either his aunt or one of his boyfriends that he's really worried for rory....owiee

2 ideas for the bully. she could be scared of him because he threatens to find her little cousin and bully him. or. oliver could be hiding his homosexuality and the bully could threaten to reveal it maybe?

so glad oliver knows rory at least cherishes the letters <333 it would hurt 7x more if he didn't know but i think there's the right amount of hurt

ooo idea, maybe oliver visits sometimes and maybe rory avoids him?? that'd be sad

loveee the aunt..maybe rory feels guilty about her too 👀? (why am i trying to give rory catholic levels of guilt)

[bunniesnuggie]

~Eddie as a caregiver~

cg!eddie munson x little!(gn)reader

summary: general headcanons of our baby cow bf as our caregiver

some more cg! eddie headcanons because we all need it right now

as i said before eddie is very artsy and he will color with you

he has “grown up” dnd coloring books, but he totally lets you help him color them, he doesn’t care if you go outside the lines or use mismatched colors. his baby cakes made it :) he a special one that he uses just for himself

btw he calls you baby cakes

idk i saw it on this donut thing the other day and my brain was like - eddie -

always puts your comfort over his. always.

everyone talks about wearing is jacket, which is a given. but if you slip out in public while wearing platforms/heels/big people shoes etc. he’s slipping off his boots, pulling out extra socks and putting them on you

oh yeah he’s got a “baby bag” for you

just a little backpack of your choosing that you both switch between carrying. he carry’s it for you when you get tired of it 🫠 it’s small so it only holds the necessities; small stufffie, socks, stash away paci, and head phones for sensory reasons :)

heard someone say that he’s wear pink nail polish to match reader and y e s

his nails used to alway be black and chipping but now they always match yours or are color you picked. he also lets you draw little designs on them and god forbid someone says something about them

i will die on my eddie is protective hill

he almost never lets you out of his site in little space. he has to know where every bump, scrape and bruise come from. if you like me and you bruise easy or are super clumsy - poor boy, he’s wrapping you bubble wrap and strapping a hockey helmet on you 🫠

gets genuinely invested in your shows and movies

one of the reason why he such a good caregiver is he genuinely enjoys it, he enjoys taking care of you of course, but he also loves to play with you and hangout with you. so if you have no little friends it’s ok, eddie is kinda like a kid too :)

he does not care about the “gross” things that you and your body do

you got a runny nose? he’s lightly pinching the tip of it to wipe away the snot. drooling all over his shoulder because you passed out while cuddling? absolutely fine, his favorite thing. you have troubles with bladder control or anything? “angel look, they make the cute pull ups in your size”. if pull-ups or diapers aren’t your thing, he gets you special waterproof sheets and makes sure he always takes you potty before bed. he will wipe you and help you wash your hands. probably would ask to help change your period products if you use them. he . does. not . care

eddie loves to try to win you stuffies at the local fair, will spend hours trying and so much money he could’ve just bought you one

steve ends up trying the basketball one and winning you a huge stuffed dragon and eddie gets all butt hurt until you name it after his dnd character, after that he’s all :D “my baby named their dragon after me”

getting happy meals in his van

you always sit in the back, in a special seat that eddie decked out to feel like a car seat. it’s got little arm rests as well as cup holders and he somehow added extra belts to keep you super safe. he always drives safer with you regardless if you’re regressed or not.

loves when you take care of him in littlespace

one of his favorite memories is coming home after the events in the upside down and having you comfort and care for him so diligently (i have a small fic about this self plug ). or the rare occasion where he gets a cold and you go all doc mcstuffins on him. band aids everywhere, why bandaids for a cold? he doesn’t ask. thermometer that you don’t know how to read, blankeys, stuffies, and a stethoscope he has no idea came from. (should i make this a full story bc i can keep going 🙃)

A/N : i love headcanons so much because something so simple really makes the character more complex :) buuut i’m terrible at making them short and concise

also do we like the little scenarios with the headcanons or is just the idea / headcanon alone better???

ps: i’m working on like three fics / one shots i still don’t know the difference rn and then i’ll get the edited and out to you guys :) and as always just let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list!

//tag list//

@bootlegmothman420 @angelbaby-fics

[trueshellz]

OMG I HAVE A IDEA can u do Osamu, kuroo, sakusa with a S/o who is drunk and when the haikyuu character tries to help her/ take care of her she’s like “I have a boyfriend” and acts defensive even tho he is her bf? (Idk if this makes sense but I think it’s so cute)

Thanks for the request babe! Totally makes sense, I promise.

Osamu

You were our celebrating your promotion with your work colleagues, unfortunately Osamu had to work late at his shop and couldn't make it for the beginning, only coming in near the end. Your friends had decided to start working their way through the cocktail menu and by the time he arrived you were pretty much away with with fairies.

"Babe, why did ya drink so much? Yer gonna be hungover as hell tomorrow."

Osamu sighed as he half carried and half manoeuvred you to the car. By the time he arrived, you were on your 12th drink and he had to grab you off the table and fling you over his shoulder before you started a dance party.

"Excuse me, you... are v'ry pretty...but I have a boyfriend. He's g'na kick your butt."

Osamu snorted as you pointed your finger in his face. Your eyes were closed as you walked and you were carrying your shoes in your hand. The jacket to your suit was slung over his arm as you both walked and he held your handbag in his hand. He couldn't help but laugh as he saw you now, this morning you had looked all put together as you left for work with your hair pinned up and suit pristine. While you looked gorgeous even now, the tidy professional had been replaced with a messy drunkard.

"Really now? Well, I just wanna make sure ya safe. I'll drive ya home to yer boyfriend. Okay?"

You sighed dreamily, leaning into him as you waved your arms around. "'Samu is so lovely. So handsome... he works so... so... hard too." You straightened and pointed your finger in his face, mood now fierce. "But! He's v'ry strong too. He used to be a volleyball player. I miss him wearing those shorts. His ass looked so good."

You held one hand up in front as if squeezing something and your boyfriend couldn't help but shake his head. He had to force himself not to laugh at your words as he put you in the car. Buckling you in, he cushioned your head on your discarded jacket and stroked your hair behind your ear. Your eyes had drifted closed, head lolling on the window as he drove you both back home. As the streets drove by, he could see you from he corner of his eyes. You looked so cute and peaceful propped up on the door and he couldn't help but reach over and caress you face.

As he peered over from the corner of his eyes, he couldn't help but smile at how fierce you defended yourself. He knew you'd never stray, you weren't the type to cheat on him. You were still mumbling about your 'boyfriend' in your drunken haze when you both got home.

As he tucked you into bed, placed some painkillers and a bottle of water on your cabinet. Removing your skirt and tights, he placed them in the wash before pulling down your bra and hanging it on the wardrobe. He knew you would complain in the morning about having wires poking you in the chest. As he climbed into bed, he felt your arms curl around him as you settled onto his chest, your hands patting his ass.

"So pretty 'Samu."

Kuroo

It was your birthday and you were our celebrating with your friends at a local bar. The whole thing had been a surprise, with a huge cake and the venue booked out for the whole night. Between the food and cake, you had drunk your body weight in alcohol while dancing with your friends.

"Tetsuro, come and take your girlfriend home. She's falling asleep."

Glancing at you, he saw your head flop onto the bar as you sat with girlfriends. The shoes you came in had now been discarded on the floor next to you and your hair was down from the ponytail you had put it in. He walked over and scooped you up bridal style.

"Put me down!"

Your words were accompanied by a smack on his arms as he put you into his car. Kuroo laughed as you tried to struggle out his grasp, wiggling to get out.

"My boyfriend is gonna beat you up."

"I'm sure he is kitten".

"Don't call me that. Let go of me!"

Shaking his head, Kuroo opened the back door and slowly put you in, trying his hardest not to smack your head on the roof of the vehicle. Something that proved difficult when you started to move around again.

Bending down and leaning on the door, he reached across and tied your seat belt.

"Look. Let me get you home safely and you can go see your boyfriend ok? I'll even call him now."

You held your pinky finger up to him. "Promise?"

He shook his head and matched his finger to yours, curling it and touching thumbs as you always did. "Promise." Watching as you nodded your head, he closed the door and drove you home, the journey itself was interesting as you kept shouting at him. Tell him he was going the wrong way (he wasn't), telling him you were hungry (he grabbed you some fries and chicken nuggets) and then telling him he was being a pervert for looking at you in the rear view mirror (which he totally was, obviously).

Parking the car and carrying you inside, he shook his head as you started stripping off between the front door and the bedroom, complaining it was too hot. As he trailed after you, he picked up your dress and bra from the floor and put them in the washing basket. Reaching the bedroom, he saw you flat on your face passed out asleep on the bed, looking adorable as hell.

"Baby."

You groaned at him, swatting him away.

Rummaging through his drawers, he grabbed a t shirt and held you up to pull it over your head. While you were hot now, he was well aware that you would be cold in the middle of the night, your feet often blocks of ice as you slept in bed.

Pulling the sheet down the bed around you, he put you in bed and climbed in after you. Immediately you latched onto him, arms and legs tangled with his almost pushing him off the bed.

"Baby, we're gonna fall out the bed."

"I love you Tetsu."

"Love you too kitten."

Sakusa

Sakusa wasn't fond of going out much, it was too loud and everyone was drunk. He didn't like being here and really wanted to go home but you had organised a party for him celebrating his win at Nationals and he didn't want to upset you.

Most of the night had been okay, you had invited a sufficient number of people and chosen a restaurant he approved of. The dress you wore was beautiful, something you had bought with him a few weeks ago. Looking over, he couldn't help but smile seeing how your face lit up when you waved across the room at him. He knew people looked at him odd, you were the opposite of him in every way. Where he was quiet and reserved, you were bubbly and cute, something he loved about you. No matter how you were feeling, you were always positive and smiling.

By the time it got to 1am, Sakusa realised that he hadn't seen you for a while. He had been sitting with his teammates, under your explicit instructions to socialise, but he couldn't see you anywhere. Excusing himself, he walked around to see you chugging champagne from the bottle as you sat in the corner of the bar, your bare feet were swinging and you had discarded your jacket.

"Honey, you're going to be sick."

"Mmm. Nope."

"Honey." He tried to reach over and take the bottle from you, knowing very well that you would be hungover as hell tomorrow. Champagne and you for some reason didn't end well.

"My boyfriend says it's ok."

For a second, Sakusa stopped and then realised what had happened.

"It's me, love. Kiyoomi. Your boyfriend."

You peered at him, eyes narrowed as you scanned him from head to toe. He looked like your boyfriend. Was dressed like your boyfriend. But why would he be here? Omi hated stuff like this.

"My Omi would never come here. He doesn't like places like this."

Shaking his head, he wiped his hand down his face and stepped closer to you. "Your Omi was forced to come here by his girlfriend. And unfortunately he has a huge soft spot for loud and pushy girlfriends."

You shook your head vehemently. "Nuh uh."

Sighing, Sakusa pried the bottle way from your hands and placed it on the bar away from you. Grabbing you by the hips, he tugged you down and picked up your shoes before helping you to the car. Kiyoomi hadn't drunk much, he didn't like the feeling of being out of control especially in public, so he knew he would be driving you both home.

Placing you in the car and driving you home, he helped you up the stairs and put you carefully on the sofa as he locked the doors and checked everything before opening the covers on the bed for you. When he returned back to the living room, you had fallen asleep with your head back.

"Tsk you're going to hurt your neck that way, love."

Picking you up bridal style, he placed you on the bed before having a quick shower. Not wanting to dirty the clean sheets, he took your tights and dress off before pulling one of your tops over your head. Taking your hair down, something that would annoy you otherwise, he turned off the lights and pulled you close.

"Omi..." You mumbled into his chest.

"Yes, love?"

"This guy tried to hit on me. But I told him I had a boyfriend. He left me alone after that." You nuzzled closer and Kiyoomi smiled as he thought back. "Bet he knew who you were. My strong boyfriend." You patted his chest lovingly.

"Good night love."

"Night night, Omi"

[zazu75]

Miguel and Zeph?? Togehter?? Yeah no this one is my fault completely

idk it’s cute and you have been warned (?) 

honestly if you follow me then you don’t need the warning. it’s your fault you’re here now XD

Ok but what if Miguel ran off to Clearbrook instead of Saintsbridge and met Zeph and the two of them hit it off really well and Alfyn comes to visit to find out that Zeph has a bf now....

A very handsome man that plays well with the kids and is very energetic and Zeph loses his words and ogles when he sees Miguel doing whatever while doing his rounds...

"He's simply so precious, Alfyn. I forget to breathe when he smiles at me, and when he laughs it fills me with joy." Zeph tells Aflyn over a mug of ale, cheeks flushed and wearing a big, dopey smile. "I never thought I could feel that way about anyone again, but everything is so intense and bright with him around."

I focus so much on the others and I'm like, Miguel can carry Zeph on his shoulders if he so wishes to choose and Zeph is just as nice as Alfyn and he can have a bf and be swept off of his feet with a romance. Why not??

He's shy at first? And Miguel is so forward.

But he's really good with Nina and Nina loves him. He lets her and her friend put his hair up in all their ribbons and flowers and keeps an eye on them and the other kids as they play and gets muddy with them and makes sure they don't get too badly hurt.

And when Zeph sees him with three kids on his back and they're all laughing, well, he thinks it's the cutest thing.

And maaaaaybe talking about the kids makes him feel a lot more comfortable around Miguel

and he's so surprised that even though Miguel is so forward with his flirtations and affections, he listens when Zeph says no.

("it's how you can tell he's serious about you" one of the old ladies of the village teases him "men are always gentlemen when they like someone" "Come on, now, grandmother, we're all gentlemen to you" "and it's how I know you like me!" she laughs)

I like the idea of them going on "not dates" where it's totally a date but Zeph refuses to call it such because it's not like they're holding hands or anything! But he also knows that they're absolutely dates, because Miguel and him sit very close and speak quietly and Zeph knows all the spots where no one will spot them, even the kids, and they're more alone out there than even in Zeph's home.

And Zeph is slow to return advances because he's still new at this and his last crush lasted for a decade?? But Mercedes is so far from his mind now, and when he thinks of comfort now he thinks of Miguel with the kids climbing him. He thinks of Miguel's laughter after a crude joke that makes him blush, and he's not sure if he's blushing because of the joke or because of how happy Miguel looks when he throws his head back and laughs.

But it's also tinged with sadness because Miguel isn't from town, and it's a sleepy little place, and he has so many interesting stories. He's bound to leave too, isn't he?

These thoughts always come when he's alone with his thoughts, because when Miguel is there, the kids tend to be around too and it's lively and full of life and he's so busy being in the moment he forgets to worry about all the things he usually worries about.

And when it's just him and Miguel, all of his attention is on the other man, to the point that he keeps forgetting to ask when Miguel is going to leave.

Until Alfyn comes back along with all the other travelers. And he's so busy with his best friend, asking all about his travels, that he forgets to introduce Miguel.

And it's then, when he does, and Alfyn naturally gets along with Miguel, that Zeph realizes that no, no, Miguel is going to leave. Because Alfyn came back different and more confident with eyes on the man in purple and so many stories. Miguel wouldn't stay. It breaks his heart but he smiles and waves Alfyn and Miguel off when they go to the tavern and he goes to do his rounds.

But later Alfyn finds him and asks him about things at home and Zeph finds himself talking, gushing about Miguel, Miguel, Miguel and ends with saying he'll miss him when he's gone. And he feels so fragile and empty at that, and Alfyn frowns in concern, but then Miguel shows up and they both pick up their smiles to something brighter and he sits next to Zeph and holds his hand as he talks to Alfyn.

Alfyn sees the hand on top of Zeph's and bluntly asks Miguel if he's sweet on Zeph, and Miguel laughs and says he has been for a while, but Zeph refuses to come out of his shell! And they both tease Zeph at taking so slow until his cheeks and neck and ears are red and he decides he's going to bed because these two are so unruly!

Alfyn and Miguel's laugh echo in his ears as he walks away, and his smile wanes to something softer and sadder, but there's fast footsteps behind him, and he recognizes Miguel by the sound, and leans into the arm that slings around his shoulders as Miguel asks him what's wrong.

And Zeph stops walking to look at Miguel with a sad smile and says Alfyn is leaving in the morning, and he's going to miss him. Miguel acknowledges that and squeezes his shoulder, and then Zeph asks Miguel when he'll be leaving too.

Miguel frowns, asks why he thinks that, and Zeph looks past him towards the river and says it's a small town where nothing happens, and there are adventures out there, and Miguel is a traveler, and no one stops by here for long. Even people here like to leave. Mercedes first, then Alfyn...

They stand on the riverbank and Zeph talks about how Mercedes left them to Atlasdam, and how he wishes he could see her again, and how he loved her for a really long time, but then Miguel came and he hasn't thought about Mercedes since, but everyone he knows leaves and it's only a matter of time before Miguel leaves too.

And Miguel kisses the side of his head and says he likes it here. It's quiet and safe and he's not worried about going hungry or needing anything and he's not worried about injuries because Zeph is there. But then he lets go of Zeph and steps away, takes off his shoes and takes a few steps into the water. He tells Zeph about the truth of it, that he's a mercenary without work that steals to survive. He tells Zeph that he's killed in cold blood before and in self defense. He tells Zeph that he's a wanted man, a bad man, and he's been deceiving him all this time. And he asks Zeph if he really wants him to stay.

And maybe it's the way he smiles, cocky, in the moonlight, or maybe it's because Alfyn told Zeph about the people and the monsters he's had to kill, or maybe it's because he's seen how good Miguel is with kids and the elderly, or maybe because he's a lovesick fool whose heart willingly betrays him, but he says yes. He says he wants Miguel to stay, because he's so used to Miguel being around that the world will feel emptier without him in it.

And Miguel laughs that way that makes Zeph forget to breathe and the apothecary takes off his shoes and stands in the water by Miguel. And Miguel pulls him close and says he'll stay, then, and even if he leaves, he'll come back and spend longer in the town than out of it. And Zeph smiles and leans his head on Miguel's shoulder, who wraps his arms around his waist and leans his head against his own.

They separate soon after and walk along the riverbank home. And neither of them see two pairs of eyes watching them, and money exchanging hands. But Alfyn has enough leaves to give to Nina in the morning so she could buy herself something nice and Therion is pouting in the background. Zeph and Miguel are none the wiser.

They watch them go and Zeph's smile wanes when Alfyn finally disappears down the road, until Miguel bumps his shoulder into his to get his attention, then winks at him. It brings back Zeph's smile, and he goes back to work.

Later that day he writes one last letter to Mercedes, telling her goodbye, and he makes a campfire in the woods to burn all of the old letters. He doesn't need them anymore.

And when Miguel finds him, he leans his head against Miguel's shoulder before he kisses his cheek. Miguel kisses the top of his head and helps him put out the fire before taking him home, holding his hand the entire way.

[binunus]

college bf!rocky

a/n next is our rock and aegyo king sorry sanha park minhyuk !! also I was going to post this yesterday :( but me and my roommates got a little too lit for valentine’s and I literally sat for 7 hours straight in zoom so I couldn’t finish it until now but !! I hope you loves enjoy!!

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ word count: 4.9k

_________________________________

alright aright alrightttt

we’re gonna switch it up a little bit

add a little flavor

because as much as I would love to say that college bf!astro all got their partners in a cute and smooth sailing way

we all know relationships aren’t that easy

but before we get into how you and rocky met

major: dance

are we surprised? no

rocky is a prodigy in dance

he’s been dancing since he could walk

he started choreographing at age 6

it just made sense for him, like even his parents were like go pursue dance, you’re not a law or business type of kid

he can master any type of dance from jazz, to ballet, to street, to contemporary, to tango, whatever you can think of

he’s roommates with music tech!jinjin

jin literally takes care of him all the time bc rocky??? when he comes back to the apt after dance practice?? dead weight

only passes his gen ed classes bc eunwoo tutors him

if it weren’t for the boys, rocky would literally live in the dance studio

they make sure to drag him out for fun and food at least once a week

or they join and keep him company while he’s practicing

have they gotten noise complaints before while messing around in the dance studio? yes

rocky is loud alright, especially when he’s with astro

he’s a perfectionist, literally will not leave the studio until he’s 100% satisfied with his progress

oh the amount of times myungjun and jin nag at him to take care of his health

now now

you’re also a dance major

people could say that you and rocky are the top two dancers of your year

gasp a rivals to lovers au??? you betcha baby

granted you switched into a dancer major your second year so rocky technically had seniority

but boom baby as soon as you made your appearance, it rocked his world

now im not saying rocky’s cocky bc obviously he’s a cute hardworking humble boy

but was he used to always being placed first in evaluations or getting the highest marks??? yeah

so the first time you placed first and he placed second??? it lit a bit of a fire in him

he’s seen a ton of good dancers in his time, but no one has ever matched his capabilities better than you

there was an unspoken rivalry between you two, everyone knew about it 

you both always wanted to upstage the other

there was always a tension whenever you two were in the same room

but like...have either of you ever really talked to each other besides side remarks in class?

no

and it didn’t really help that the whole dance department basically pit you up against each other to see who was really the best dancer of your year

so you and rocky never had the proper introduction to a friendship, it just went straight to rivalry 

and then came the announcements for the end of the year showcase

and instead of putting on a solo, the department chairs decided to have you and rocky perform a duet

and you’ve never worked with him before so you were dreading the first time you met up

you to your roommate: ugh i can’t believe im partnered up with rocky, that arrogant rude–

your roommate: have you ever even talked to him, y/n? he’s actually very nice

you: no...but that’s what he wants you to believe!

your ego sorta just went along with the whole thing

and rocky was 15 min late to your meeting bc he was out eating food with the guys so your patience?? very thin

literally as soon as he stepped into the dance studio, the air turned stuffy

rocky could feel you glaring at him and he just smirks?? 

rocky: did I make you wait long y/n?

you: yeah you did

he liked pushing your buttons?? idk he just felt satisfaction knowing that any small of action of his affected you that much

it made him feel like he was winning or whatever

and god it took literally forever for you two to decide on a song and genre of performance for the showcase

you wanted contemporary, he wanted ballet

you were literally disagreeing so much on it that you had to ask Siri to flip a coin

and then you fought and said that Siri was rigged when it chose tails (contemporary)

so you decided on a happy? mix of both

rocky at the end of your first meeting: i get that we’re not exactly friends, y/n, but we have to work together so let’s at least be professional

you: i can if you can

rocky: fine

you two literally bicker like five year olds on a playground

even the guys are like ???? why are you being so childish ???

you have 2 months of preparation until the showcase and you start meeting once a week for choreography and practice since given the assignment

you two are pretty civil for the most part, you make the contemporary parts and he makes the ballet parts and then you combine it when you meet up and see how it can incorporate and complement each other

there’s not much joking around ?? like you know how rocky’s a clown when he’s teaching astro choreography?? it’s not like that at all

and honestly you two are too caught up in your rivalry and tension to notice that your styles really match and highlight each other well??

there’s definitely a lot of “i could do this better than you” from both sides

i repeat: you are children

and then there’s this one practice where you and rocky are trying a pas de deux for the first time

(i literally looked this term up, it’s basically what jungkook and jimin from bts did during the 2020 mma black swan intro...if you haven’t seen it, watch it bc it is perfection mmm chefs kiss)

and you don’t know if it’s because you didn’t have enough momentum or rocky didn’t prep himself enough for the lift but he ends up dropping you and you both fall

and you both immediately start blaming each other for the mishap

until you lift your hand to point at him and it just hurts

it’s like a switch goes off, rocky’s immediately concerned and he’s like gently taking your hand like: holy shit are you okay??

you shake your head and you’re wincing whenever you try to move it

you: ow fuck rocky, I think it’s sprained

and he suddenly feels so guilty, like he goes silent

you: can we stop for today? I’m gonna go get this checked out, make sure it’s not broken

rocky: do you want me to go with you?

you: no. I’ll see you next week.

boy he feels so bad, he texts you throughout the course of the following week asking if you’re okay, asking your roommate if you’re okay, telling you he’s sorry that he dropped you

you didn’t respond much, not bc you felt weird texting him–well, you did a little bit shhh–but bc you were beating yourself up for getting injured a month before the showcase

you show up to practice the next week with your wrist in a compression bandage

and he doesn’t greet you with a quip like he usually does, he immediately grabs your wrist (gently) and he’s like inspecting the bandage

you: uh...the doctor said I should be careful with it for a week or two if i want it to heal faster. so don’t bitch at me if i’m not going all out

rocky: y/n...i’m so sorry...I didn’t mean to injure you, it was my fault that we didn’t execute the pas de deux

you just shrug: it was both our faults...if I didn’t fall on my wrist maybe we could have avoided this little obstacle

rocky: if I caught you correctly, you wouldn’t have even fallen

you: are we really arguing right now about this??

and then the two of you just laugh??? 

this is the first real pleasant interaction you’ve had with him

and you notice like wow rocky had a nice smile

you: i should be back to normal before the showcase so we should be fine

rocky: don’t push it though while we’re practicing alright? if your wrist starts hurting then stop, and don’t even think about doing any floor choreo

the atmosphere between you and rocky change after that

he becomes pretty concerned about your recovery–and maybe it’s bc he still blames himself for the cause of it

each night before your set practice days, he always shoots you a text asking how you’re feeling and how your wrist is doing

he brings ice packs, painkillers, and extra bandages during your practices just in case you need it

and you’re actually pretty touched by his concern

about two weeks before the showcase, your wrist is back to full movement and you’re like excited to actually practice to your best ability

from now on you see each other twice a week, just to get that detail and fine-tuning perfected

rocky’s still a bit hesitant to have you go full out but you reassure him that you’re fine

you both try the pas de deux again the day you take your bandage off 

and you can see that he’s nervous to try it

you: rocky, i’m fully healed now. we haven’t practiced this move since the first time and we need it in our routine

rocky: but...y/n, what if I drop you again??

you: you won’t...i trust you 

and you really did, that move requires a lot of trust between partners and you know? maybe it didn’t work out the first time because of the lack of trust between you two

and so you go through the full routine and rocky was holding his breath when that part of the choreography came up but you both successfully did it!! and it was a beautiful move

he was so excited at the end of the run through that he hugged you

and you were smiling too bc this was the first time you did a full run through without any stops in between

you both don’t even notice that all the hostility is gone??

and the tension suddenly changed from hatred to...dare I say it...sexual

oo baby the day of the showcase you two were hella nervous 

but c’mon you and rocky were the best of the best so ofc you absolutely killed the performance

your energies literally merged as soon as the music started

every move was flawless

and you both had to face each other during your ending pose and you were just like looking at him like ??? wtf ??? did you maybe wanna kiss him??

and you know the look that rocky has in his eyes when he’s dancing

imagine that literally piercing into your soul

you got the shivers waiting for the lights to dim 

you both received a standing ovation after your duet obviously

astro watching it bc they always support rocky: they’re gonna fuck 100%

fast forward to the next term bc you both didn’t really have a reason to contact each other during summer break now that the showcase was done

you and rocky had two classes together, dance research and advanced modern technique

it was then that you started to see his actual personality and how goofy of a person he was

you still had a rivalry of course, but now it was healthy

instead of trying to bring each other down, you both started motivating each other to do better

and yes you’ve always been impressed with how good of a dancer rocky was (and vice versa), but now whenever you saw him practice you start to feel a little bit of stir in your stomach and shit are you blushing??

and then you two get paired up again for your midterm evaluation

your teacher: i saw the chemistry you had for the showcase last term, i think you two would work well together for this project

and god is your teacher trying to murder you??? the theme of this midterm was “couple dance” to encourage collaboration or whatever

you were just thankful that the song choice she gave you was more upbeat and not sensual bc you know for a fact that you would not survive doing a sexy dance routine with rocky

but that didn’t stop the way your skin felt like it was on fire whenever he touched you for partner-dependent moves

this time around, you did the choreography process together and it was actually pretty fun??

you and him would bounce back ideas and joke around whenever something looked stupid

you and rocky did this by the way for reference

and then there was one late night when you two were practicing

it was around 2 am, no one else was in the music building and you both didn’t have class the next day so you two were just like fuck it let’s just practice until campus security kicks us out or whatever

you both were literally dancing for four hours, not just this new routine but old ones and freestyles as well

and then you were doing your new routine and during the part where he had to twirl and dip you, you both fall again

but no one got injured this time luckily

and you both just burst out laughing, maybe you were a little delirious at this point in the night

you: i can’t believe you dropped me again

rocky’s laughing and you both just look at each other, and he’s hovering above you right???

and your heart is beating so loudly in your chest you’re positive he can hear it

and you’re thankful that your face was already hot from dancing so that he couldn’t tell that you were in fact blushing

rocky’s like looking at you for a good minute or so and he’s just like thinking in his head: have you always been this cute?

and maybe it’s bc you guys have been getting along so well lately and the vibes are??? immaculate

but the atmosphere suddenly gets super thick and he !! just !! leans down !! and !! kisses !! you !!

and phew baby you bet that you immediately respond to it

you’re literally making out on the floor for like five minutes

and mind you, five minutes is a long time

until rocky’s phone rings loudly through the speaker and you both suddenly separate

he scurries to his phone and you sit up trying to compose yourself 

jinjin: park minhyuk where are you?! it’s 3 am!!

you literally hear jinjin scolding rocky through the phone and you laugh a little bc it’s so cute how he’s getting nagged right now

rocky: hyung...im practicing...

jinjin: do i need to drag you out of there?! i’ll literally call bin to carry your ass to our apartment! how long have you been practicing huh?? have you eaten dinner at all??

rocky: okay okay I’ll come back home

he turns to you after ending the call and he’s so !! shy !!

rocky: I guess that’s the end of our practice haha...do you want me to walk you back to your place?? it’s pretty late out

you: yeah that’d be nice...hm you sure your hyung’s not gonna call a search party for you??

you’re teasing him and he just pouts

rocky: i’ll be fine

rocky walks you back to your apartment and it’s a little?? awkward?? 

but before you bid him goodbye he’s like: uh...the kiss earlier...sorry if I surprised you

your cheeks are hot again: it’s um...it’s okay, I didn’t mind it...it was actually pretty nice...I guess...

and rocky’s heart skips a beat and now he’s blushing: yeah...it was...i’ll see you in class then??

you: yeah, i’ll see you. text me when you get home okay?

he nods and waits until you’re safely inside and then he just starts grumbling to himself

rocky: i’ll see you in class?? could i say anything more stupid??? 

rocky’s adorable okay

him texting you when he gets back: im home :)

you: that’s good! good night rocky :)

he goes to the guys the day after like: i have a predicament !! me and y/n kissed !! 

jinjin: that’s why you were late last night??

eunwoo: you dirty dog, doing it in the dance studio??

rocky: we didn’t do anything else hyung !!

bin: so did you ask them out??

rocky: no...i said...i’ll see you in class

myungjun: i’ll see you in class?!?! are you an idiot??

sanha: hyung even I’d ask y/n out after that

rocky: i know !! im dumb okay!! help me

sanha: you’re a lost case sorry

jinjin: why don’t you start with, hey y/n do you wanna get some food with me??

rocky: AHHHH

yes he does want to ask you out, yes he does want to kiss you again more than he’d like to admit, but he’s shy

you’re not faring any better, you and roommate were literally talking about it all weekend

the next time you see rocky (in class), you two are awkward as fuck

you both keep stealing glances at each other and then if one of you get caught, you both immediately look away

those 50 minutes of class could not go by any slower

and you were so ready to book it after the professor dismissed you but then you hear rocky call your name

rocky: hey y/n, are you free right now?

you: uh yeah! why what’s up

rocky: do you...um...wanna get some coffee with me?? or food or something??

you: do you mean like just to hang out or...uh like a date?

rocky: a date...if you want it to be

and cue the blushies again

you and rocky end up going to this cute cafe and get smoothies bc neither of you were feeling caffeine at the moment

and the whole time you two are just ??? so cute and shy and awkward with each other ???

which is such a contrast from how you two would dance together

rocky’s so sweet, really the cutest boy

gives you so many butterflies

the two of you end up going on little cafe dates before practice 

and you’re all cute and wholesome

and then he turns all passionate and dominant when you start dancing

like wow alright rocky giving you whiplash or whatever

when you show the routine for your midterm, the teacher and other students give you both high praises 

and he’s all giddy after class and he goes up to you: i think its safe to say that we have really good chemistry when we work together, don’t you think?

you’re smiling hehe but you wanna mess with him a little: hmm i think we’re alright, but who knows, i might mesh well with someone else

and then he’s all frowny, a little jealous: what do you mean someone else? do you make out with someone who just has alright chemistry with you??

your eyes go wide and you put your hand over his mouth: im kidding!!

rocky just smirks at your embarrassed reaction and he like tickles your sides

and then he just grabs your hand like: don’t find another dance partner y/n, just be mine

how could you say no to that??? especially when rocky’s just looking all handsome and charming and shit??? exactly. you can’t and why would you ever say no in the first place??

you and rocky dating?? biiiig news in the dance department

and even outside of it

bc lowkey rocky had a bit of a fanclub bc of how good he is at dancing, are we shocked? no

the boys are so happy for him !!

you meet his friends literally the day the two of you start dating

and you’re a bit nervous meeting them bc ofc you want them to like you, they’re his friends

but they’re so sweet...and headass

when rocky brings you to their dinner, the five of them literally start applauding at your entrance

you were so confused and rocky’s just out here with second hand embarrassment

he’s the cutest boyfriend

shy with pda in public (unless you’re dancing), most he’ll do is hold your hand

but in private he’s very clingy

loves backhugging you

he also tickles you when he wants to be a little shit

which is 50% of the time

very playful bf, will tease you at least once every day

if you two are just practicing dancing, he’ll make any sort of excuse to hold you or kiss you

asddfadsjf he’s so cute

gets very soft at night especially when you two are worn out from practice

just wants to go back to your (or his) apartment and cuddle and sleep

imagine just you two cuddling in bed after hours of dancing and he’s just spooning you and he mumbles tiredly into your shoulder: you’re amazing y/n...you’re one of the best dancers i’ve ever seen

and before, his pride would have never allowed him to say that, but now it can

not really one for pet names in my opinion, but he does call you “my y/n”

after you two start dating, you begin to call him by his real name, minhyuk

or you say hyukie

he lowkey loves it when you call him that, it’s so endearing

the guys teasing him, cooing at rocky all gross like : heyyy hyukkie

then rocky just like crosses his arms: only y/n can call me hyukie

he didn’t realize he loves couple dances so much until you and him are dating

well he only loves it because you’re his partner ofc

alright hear me out !! slow dancing with rocky

slow !! dancing !! with !! rocky !!

he dims the lights in the dance studio until it’s just a single spotlight and some slow romantic music comes on and he just grabs you by the hand and twirls you once before pulling you close and you’re just swaying side to side

and then he presses your foreheads together and he’s just looking into your eyes and gives you the softest smile

!!! im freaking out!! i want this so bad !!

that’s how the first i love you comes out

surprise, you say it first

okay but like in the moment, the atmosphere is literally so perfect, and you can just see how much he treasures you and you always feel butterflies whenever he does this, but there was just something that night that made you say it

like your chest was constricting so hard and you were thinking to yourself, i love this man

and so you just said it

and omg the smile on rocky’s face just widens and he kisses you so sweetly before he says it back

loves kissing you, your lips are like a drug to him

can literally make out with you for hours

has pushed you against the walls of the practice room just for a little make out session

ahhh here we go ladies and gents

sex !! with !! rocky !!

first and foremost, dance studio sex??? yes

especially if it’s just you two late night practicing like the first time you kissed?

mirror kink? maybe so

and bc y’all are ~flexible~, you bet he likes bending your back like a pretzel

he’s a very passionate lover, your pleasure is his #1 priority

loves foreplay just as much as the main event

but oof his hips?? grrrrr bark bark ram me over with a truck

his stroke game is so good

literally knows how to fuck you in all the right places

and his stamina??? god tier, can go at it for hours on end

into edging and overstimulation, oof you bet you’re cumming at least twice during every session

i cannot stress this enough!! thigh riding

you know he has thighs of steel

will make you cum just from riding his thigh

most of the time you guys start off slow and sweet, and then just boom it turns it hard sex

will definitely get turned on from doing a sexy dance routine

the amount of times he’s wanted to just fuck you in the middle of class bc you turned him on?? but ofc he has public decency he won’t do that

he knows you get turned on from his fingers oops

anal or vaginal fingering?? he’s all for it baby

he’s loud during sex, all the grunting, huffing, growling, oo im getting chills

not afraid to tell you how good you’re making him feel

not really into spanking, but he grips a lot, like his fingernails have definitely left some deep imprints in your hips or your ass

hair pulling?? yes, both sides receiving

okay but if you call him rocky during sex? big turn on

i can’t explain why, it just is

favorite position?? cowgirl

he loves when you’re on top of him

yes he likes seeing you try to fuck yourself on him

and then when he can’t take it anymore and just grabs your hips and thrusts up into you until your body literally collapses on him

he always tries to make you cum first but oops sometimes baby just busts a nut

yes you will probably tease him about it and then he’ll just shut you up by kissing you 

on another note, no way to turn rocky on faster than sucking on his bottom lip when you’re kissing

will cuddle you after cumming, like he doesn’t care if either of you are sweaty or messy, he’s hugging you for at least five minutes

honestly becomes a baby after sex so it’s more like you’re giving him after care sksksk

the switch he makes from being a sex fiend to a clingy cuddly boy? whiplash

like you need to go to the bathroom to pee or something and he’s like: but...i wanna hug u

i would risk it all for rocky yes

anyway after graduating, rocky becomes a choreographer for this really famous dance studio and get recruited to join a highly-competitive dance troupe

you both do long distance for a little bit bc obviously he’s back home but you have to travel with your group for competitions, sometimes even internationally

and so that caused some strain in your relationship bc distance sucks, but you would always make sure to call him every night before going to bed and despite any time zone difference, he would always answer

your biggest supporter !! literally flew out to surprise you during a big dance competition in london or whatever and you cried happy tears bc was he really there right now??

that’s when you knew that he was the one :’)

you spent the night w him in his hotel room and after a good couple rounds of reunion sex, you were like trying to test the waters a little bit: i missed you hyukie

rocky: i missed you too, but now that you’re here with me, nothing else matters

you: what do you really think about this long distance thing??

rocky: it sucks...but i know it made us stronger. i feel like we can get through anything now

you: yeah, i agree

rocky getting paranoid: omg why? are you thinking of living abroad?? y/n, do i need to start looking at dance studios out here??

you have to hold in your laughter bc he’s so cute: why? would you move out of the county for me if i wanted to??

rocky: i mean...if you’re thinking of leaving for good...then yeah.

he gets so shy and quiet and you’re just !! wow you love him !! he’s yours !!

you kiss him shortly and you smile: no, i’m not gonna live abroad. I miss being home and I miss seeing you all the time. I told you before, I’m thinking of leaving the troupe in two months and then gonna find a job back home for good.

he lets out a sigh of relief: you scared me a little

you just laugh: I only wanted to confirm something and hmm I was right

rocky: what did you wanna confirm??

you being a confident baddie: that I wanna be with you for the rest of my life

rocky feeling his heart implode: you mean it??

you scoffing: why would I be lying about this?

he just laughs and kisses you: I wanna be with you too...I’ve been thinking it since the last time you visited. How much I love you and how much I hated seeing you leave for who knows how long, but I didn’t wanna say anything bc you’re still living your life and I didn’t want a promise like this to influence you to come back if you didn’t want to yet.

two months later you’re back for good and move in with rocky

you end up becoming a choreographer at his dance studio too

you and rocky: the couple™

and you live happily ever after

somewhere down the line...

sanha: hey remember when you two hated each other?

eunwoo: remember when you injured y/n??

bin: remember when you freaked out to us about your first kiss together

myungjun: and you said i’LL sEe yOu iN cLaSs

jinjin: those were fun times, right hyukie?

rocky: i hate you all

__________________________________________________

2-16-21

[kiefbowl]

ew why tf are you dating a scrote

okay this is clearly a troll, but I’ll answer anyway since this seems to be a topic of interest to people lately. I wrote a lot and talked about sexual assault, so go ahead and skip it if that’s not your jam. disclaimer: I don’t have a problem or think there’s anything wrong with people who don’t want to follow me bc of the bf. that’s legitimate! please do what suits you. I think some of my responses have been perceived as snarky in the past but I only try to be snarky when I suspect a troll, I really don’t have a problem with people unfollowing me b/c of the bf or even telling me about it.

I worked with Malcolm for about a year and a half before we go together, but we got together for the first time 5 months after I had a brief but intense love affair with a meth addict that ended in big traumatic ways after he started using heavily again, which eventually cultivated in him raping me (not that it was the only sexual violence I experienced with him but that time was particularly horrific because I was heartbroken and he was high on meth). he was also a man, and the reason I started dating him isn’t so clear to me except that I was looking for a way to live recklessly and self harm. There’s a longer story there but the details can’t be told concisely and it’s no one’s business. In any case, everything that happened with him is not worth recounting, but it was long and complicated and continued even after the rape. To give some context about how bad it was, I also had worked with the meth addict (I’m not using his name on purpose), and part way through our relationship he got a new job. a couple weeks after the rape, he lost that job and got his old job back. yeah, imagine being dumped by a meth addict and the being raped by him and then he starts working with you when you know he is using now. not fun, pretty sad to think about.

I was in a very traumatized state for months. It’s hard to describe what it’s like, except you don’t feel like you’re living. You can feel very foreign to your own life. I felt like something inside of me was constantly pressing against me to get out, and if it did it would be me screaming. Like, my skin had become a suit to mask the babbling lunatic underneath. I would have random outbursts where I would wince in pain and people would ask what was up and it was just that the emotional pain was felt so sharply it became physical, but I felt like I couldn’t be honest with people. I did go to therapy, it felt like life and death. right around the time before Malcolm and I together, so a few months into therapy, my therapist gave me permission to feel okay seeking out love, sex, and relationships, because I was feeling very guilty that I might be using someone if I did. In any case, Malcolm showed up to my bday party, and was one of the last to leave, and I just was ready for the next thing after the meth addict bf. Every day I didn’t have sex, the last person I had sex with was him. I wanted to be normal again. I was feeling a little better, less freakish, but still so sad. So I said, okay Malcolm, come home with me and he did. It didn’t seem so bad to take Malcolm home with me because I wasn’t very interested in him long term, so it seemed like low stakes to end up hurting him. Low investment. Yadda yadda.

Malcolm was also convenient, he lived walking distance. he was nice, friendly, easy to hang out with. our emotional intimacy was very low, it was low low low low maintenance dating. Malcolm felt very safe, he was the polar opposite of the other bf. we had a casual, boring, unintimidating fling for a few months that sputtered out. if the other bf was like riding a roller coaster that was condemned, Malcolm was like taking a nap on the bus back home after a long exhausting day at the amusement park. I know, it’s not very sexy. But it was nice to feel like a human again, have proof I could be normal, proof I could do unsexy things like watch tv and go to brunch and it didn’t feel like I was a freak for trying after months of feeling like I had a neon sign over my head that said “idiot adult woman dated meth addict like it wasn’t going to end up fucking her over HA HA.” I was ready to go out with my new sense of normalcy and have fun with people I might be, er, to be blunt, more interested in.

BUT the most amazing thing was we stayed friends after the break up, which I had never had before. and even though the first few months of dating helped me feel normal again in a way, it turns out being raped by your meth addict ex leaves deep, painful welts. who could guess. Seeking out other relationships from scratch ended up being exhausting. When do I bring up that I’m not even a year from a meth addict raping me? Date two? I tried with other people, and it wasn’t working. I dropped dating, and focused on friends and work instead. But I missed him some days, and as things around me were starting to feel like they were crumbling again, he was there and around. He came over, smoked weed, taught me MTG, let me make him dinner, took me out to bars, listened to me cry, had gentle sex. Soon we were seeing and talking to each other every day. We spent enough time together that it became clear we were dating again, and this time around it was more enjoyable and more intimate. It felt easier to invest in our relationship the second time around because he already knew the baggage. We started dating and eventually, out of the sake of convenience, moved in together. 

But if it makes you feel any better, anon who is probably not reading this, the state of my relationship is not great atm. It feels like we’re very good friends that share a bed. I always had doubts about this relationship from the beginning, I was never really crazy about Malcolm and was tentative about being exclusive. I rationalized the relationship with thoughts like “you don’t know until you try” and “maybe this love is different love, and it doesn’t feel like previous love because I still need to learn more about love.” I don’t think that’s quite it anymore. But, we live together in an unpredicted pandemic, so I sort of made my bed. Plus, it’s hard to decide to break up with someone who isn’t bad just maybe not good enough. Maybe it’s my fault? some days I wake up and think, “oh well am I really giving him 100%? if I tried harder maybe it would be better.” Maybe it’ll get better? What’s life post pandemic and when is it coming, I can’t know. I’ve been depressed, will I get better? Will it change things? I also adore his parents, they’ve been amazing to me, they inspire me. they’ve opened their hearts to me. losing them weighs heavy. I love Malcom very much, he’s been a good friend and we’ve built a nice little life together that has a lot of parts working. How do you decide what day to hurt someone you love? Idk...I guess I entered this relationship to learn.

The Meth Addict has loomed large in our relationship and casts a long shadow. I’ve talked about it with Malcolm but I’m not sure he fully understands it. almost 3 years since my birthday we hooked up. That’s a long time. It’s as long as the relationship I had with my first love. I can’t predict the full story Malcolm and I will have, but I can see a potential break up looming closer. I struggle with it every day. Some nights, like tonight, it’s seems pretty clear cut. If I think this way now it pretty much proves I want to break up, right? But tomorrow morning he’ll make me tea and we’ll talk about our weekend plans and I’ll think “oh this is so nice, what was I even thinking about last night? I’m getting in my own head.” So I don’t know! I think about women a lot. I think about how I talk frankly about my bisexuality on tumblr and yet my experiences with men outnumber that with women. I feel like I’m cheating sometimes, like I’ve lead you guys to believe something that’s not real even though I’m not lying. I think about how I never want to cheat on Malcolm but I get crushes and I want to sleep with women and I wonder if I should be a mom and I think about his parents and it gets confusing. I feel guilty about thinking about our convenience because that’s cheating him and cheating me, but sometimes I wake up happy and much happier than I’ve been in 10 years.

So I guess the reason I’m dating a scrote is because I’m complicated and have a bit of a messy life, and I live day to day, and we make micro choices that lead to macro choices and then we make macro choices that lead to micro choices, and I haven’t pulled the trigger on breaking up with him yet. He was part of the healing journey because, well, he was here. In my real life. It turns out the women we follow on tumblr are very very human with lives far more complex that can be summed up in a few posts on tumblr. Maybe ask me in 50 years why I dated Malcolm, I’ll probably have a better idea why. 

[love-geeky-fangirl]

Everyone says that Dawson grew in S4 but I don’t think he grew as much as everyone claims he did. He wasn’t behaving differently in season 4 than mid season 3 (when he was away from Joey and was forging a friendship with Nicky) The only reason he was so likable was because of Gretchen. She listened to his rants and put up with his obsession with Joey. In S4 Dawson acted like the wronged martyr. He told Joey that letting go of her was the most selfless thing he’s ever done instead of realizing that he never should have treated her like a possession in the first place. He totally tried to rewrite history by claiming that he would not not reacted badly if Pacey had told him about his feelings for Joey. Hell, Dawson even claimed that he spent his whole life trying to please other people.

Yeah Dawson saved Pacey during the storm and gave Joey money but it’s not anything he wouldn’t have done earlier (in S2 Dawson saved Joey’s dad from a fire and gave Joey half the money he received from the Boston film festival). Dawson is only likable in S4 when juxtaposed with Pacey, who was meant to come off as unlikable. Dawson was a little less self involved but not that much. I actually found Dawson , Pacey, and Joey equally annoying. The love triangle was hard to watch.

I liked Dawson the most in season 5. He was actually paying a therapist to do his emotional labor for him instead of having his gf do it. He was a good friend and bf. He was less self involved and came off more sympathetic.

 

I haven't seen seasons 5 and 6 yet so I don't know about that but I did find Dawson a little more tolerable in season 4 as opposed to seasons 1-3. In season 1 he's obssessed with Jen and completely oblivious to Joey's feelings for him to the point it's painfully awkward to watch. In season 2 he's suddenly obssessed with Joey and then in season 3 he doesn't want her again until he finds out that Pacey wants her, then suddenly she's the love of his life.

Yes the love triangle was painful to watch for me too. I don't get why people rank it as one of the most iconic love triangles of all time. It was overdramatic and stupid and took away Jen and Jack's screentime. I would much rather watch them than everyone's overdramatic over the top reactions to Pacey and Joey kissing. "But you're hurting Dawson's feelings!!" So what who fucking cares, jfc a similar thing happened in my friend group freshman year of high school and even though people involved were immature they still handled it better than this. Dawson and Joey literally dated for 4 months tops (like Drew said even for a shorter time that Spice Girls were popular) and then they spent almost a whole year broken up before Pacey and Joey got together. They were literally ancient history.

I liked that he gave Joey the money and saved Pacey from the storm and stopped whinying about Joey so much (or at least I was noticing it less idk) and I liked his relationship with Gretchen, that made him more tolerable to watch for me. But omfg him complaining about Gretchen that Joey lost her virginity to Pacey and not him?? Wtf how can you tell your girlfriend that? Gretchen is really a saint for not getting mad at him for that. I would be offended if my boyfriend was talking about his ex like that.

[ackerfics]

I was maybe 14 when I first made a tumblr and got into fanfics. I was never in to chick flicks but I read a shit ton of romantic fics, so my standards really sky rocketed djshdsj expecting everything to be giddy happy and every moment poetic and fic worthy.

I got in to uni and completely stopped using tumblr and reading fics. Anyway, there was this boy (N) from class I never really liked since orientation. One day in one of our classes, he sat next to me. As the class went on, he randomly told me that my accent was quite obvious and smirked teasingly. I got really defensive, not sure why but I didn’t want people to know I came from the province. I got really annoyed because I feel exposed. He always sat next to me, talking my ear off, asked art supplies from me, always asking for paper, pens, making me fucking listen to Usher and got irritating.

We wound up in the same group of friends and the two of us magically became best friends. Got coffee, walked to school together, made homework together. He would buy me snacks and ask me to go out in the middle of class just to hand it over. At one point he told me I’ll never get into a serious relationship, ofc I laughed and agreed but I wouldn’t admit that that offended me. Jokes on him, I started dating this guy from one of our classes. We dated for about 7 months but called it off. I cried and (N) was the first one I called.

(N) liked this girl from one of his classes that he would not shut the fuck up about. Talked about her during our facetime nights, got annoyed and asked him why won’t he just fucking ask her out. 1 month later, he won the girl over and got in to a relationship. And that made me happy for him—but a part of me felt unsettled. We still hung out with our friends but this time with his plus one. It hurt to see them. I tried to avoid him and would ask my friends if he’d be where we’re hanging out. He still walked me to my bus stop everytime I head home.

Not sure when, but it hit me like a fucking truck when I realized I had feelings for him.

It’s hard to get over someone if you’re in the same circle of friends lmao Anyway, this has gotten longer. Sorry. But he and his girl broke up after 2 years. At senior year, we were both hanging out at his dorm waiting for our friends, laughing and the next thing I know he was looking me in the eyes, cupping my face with his hand and started to slowly lean in for a kiss and met him halfway and kissed back, thinking I was a clown for thinking I got over him for the past year.

We’re both 26 years old now and still happily together. I always wanted my love life to be like the fanfics I read DKSKDHAHA what I got was quite far, though. The journey was hilarious but I loved every moment of it. I’m 26, and I’m back in Tumblr and reading fics because I still need that different kind of kilig from 2D men 😌 I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I sometimes wish some of the scenes I read happened to me LOL my bf knows I read your fic TPT and other multichap fics and would often ask if there’s an update lmao

That’s all! Just want to share my experience of expectations of a fanfic vs real life love. Have an amazing day Rory! I’m sure whoever finds you and decides to love you and you reciprocating their feelings, will be the luckiest to have you. I hope they love and cherish every bit and fiber of you as you deserve 🌷

🌷 anon, the whole time i was reading this, idk why, but i was smiling like crazy aaaaaa i'm so happy you two got together in the end --- it felt so fulfilling on my part while reading what you shared bc the way your story with your partner flowed was like something from a movie i'd definitely watch :<< i'm so happy you shared this with me aaaaaa it was so wholesome and it's so nice to witness people find the ones who love them the most <333 this might be the hopeless romantic in me talking but my heart always becomes this warm, gushy mess whenever i hear love stories like these --- seeing people in love gets me in this fluffy mood and it makes me so giddy 🦋 i never experienced anything close to that and i'm not rushing anything yet (even tho most of my peers already found the ones they'll treasure eternally --- i think :>> ) but the end of your ask just gave me butterflies --- pure iridescent ones that i associate with extreme happiness. i hope i find someone the way you and partner found each other (generally speaking). 🌷 anon, you are a treasure and thank you for gracing my blog with this huge part of your life <33 may you have an awesome day or night !! stay hydrated and healthy, ily <3

[sugarlove12]

Hellooooo it’s meeeeee, to no one’s surprise I still haven’t recovered from given and I don’t think I ever will u can ask @queenoftheknight that literally my heart hasn’t moved on.

So like I said in previous posts I wanted to talk about it so muchhh but the words never came since I consider myself to be someone that expresses better in person than text, but I’ll try so prepare cause this shit is gonna be long.

1. THE FUCKING OPENING OMG

I’m a very critical person when it comes to openings and for some kind of reason I was like ok let’s listen to it and haha when I was reading the lyrics my heart went 💔 cause everything is so accurate to the storyline, everything fits perfectly. If u haven’t heard the complete song pls do so, it holds so much feelings. I’m gonna share with u guys some of my favorites quotes

All the things u left behind, became my everything-> WITH THIS ONE I DIED OK I WAS LIKE OH OK BAI.

Rainy, sunny, cloudy, spring, summer, fall and winter, 365 days, u remain in all of them-> THIS ONE ASDGFHJ IS THE PART WHERE YŪKI’S GHOST HUGS MAFUYU AND THEN HE HUGS TIGHTER THE GUITAR, look I can’t emphasized how much that scene hurts me.

Even if I meet u in my dreams, it’s meaningless cause u are not here-> bruh I imagine Mafuyu saying this and X_X (this is from the extended ver).

I still hear it, it's still so real, ur heartbeat, it becomes a part of me, u become me, I become u-> I think I don’t need to say any words.

2. UGETSU’S AND AKIHIKO’S RELATIONSHIP

THIS PART MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS TO THOSE WHO HAVENT READ THE MANGA

I’m a die hard fan of Haruki and Akihiko, but when I saw that scene where Ugetsu turns back to scream at Akihiko to not go and stay with him, while crying, THAT HURT SO MUCH OMG. Idk why but I could feel his pain like, he was so used to them fighting, breaking up and then getting back together, but this time was for real, that was a definite goodbye. Don’t get me wrong they were toxic as hell and even physical violence was involved cause he punched Akihiko more than once (I think, if my memory is working), but yeah I feel bad for Uge :(

3. Yūki omg this guy

I don’t know where to begin with this guy, I don’t want Natsuki sensei to draw much about him cause he’s my ship wrecker ok. Like I’m a sucker for the bad boy style and everything and he was so caring towards Mafuyu BUT YEAH THE POINT IS I DONT WANNA SEE HIM CAUSE I DONT WANNA LOVE HIM MORE AND FEEL KIND OF GUILTY FOR SHIPPING RITSUKA AND MAFUYU.

But there’s something that tickles me, like imagine a 15 year old killing himself just cause he had a huge fight with his bf, and this is a very sensitive topic but I remember when Hiiragi was talking about him, he said Yūki was a moody person so I thought what if he suffered from depression or he wasn’t emotionally stable like that would destroy the whole fandom. So yeah Yūki bby reast in peace we love u❤️

I don’t wanna offend anyone, this comes from someone who struggles with depression, so yeah kisses💕

4. Ep 9

Do I really need to explain how much damage it made to my heart, for starters I’m not emotionally stable and this episode broke the shit out of me.

All I wanna say is that I lost it when Mafuyu starts to talk to Yuki (u know what I mean) and starts reminiscing the past and ASDFGHJKL , the part when he screams AHHHH woahhhh My emotions left my body, if this platform were more safe I would show u guys pics of me that day AND THE VN I SENT MY FRIENDS OH GOD IT WAS ME SOBBING.

5. Mafuyu’s and Ritsuka’s relationship

I loveeeeee them soooo muchhhh, but there are maaaany things I wanna say and I want to see if I’m the only one who thinks like this.

There are a lot of people who say that Ritsuka is a replacement for Yūki but I don’t see that, on the contrary I think Ritsuka is the one who’s helping Mafuyu to heal, to be able to express himself, to allow himself feel whatever he wants to feel.

Now I’m not gonna lie if deep down I thought so in very specific moments. For example on the infamous ep 9 when Mafuyu is talking to Yūki while he’s singing, he says: I see u everywhere and the scene is Ritsuka turning his back and then Mafuyu sees Yūki, and at that moment I was TRIGGERED also in a manga ch Mafuyu sleeps over at Ritsuka’s and feels like crying cause Ritsuka had the same clock as Yūki, LIKE WHAT ARE THE ODDS, but yeah I don’t think he’s a replacement ok, those were just moments of doubt :)

Well I would’ve loved if the author had put more time between Yūki’s death and the beginning of the story cause idk the exact time but it was less than a year, and within months I think is SO HARD to get over ur ex who just committed suicide because of something U SAID, which also happens to be ur first love, childhood friend, someone who stood by u in so many aspects of ur life (his dad getting arrested) AND OH LET’S NOT FORGET THAT U REALIZED THAT WHAT U SAID WAS WRONG SO U CAME TO APOLOGIZE BUT OHOH TOO LATE BRO, so yeah to be able fall in love in couple of months and get over all that trauma seems a little unrealistic but I won’t fight it cause I love them lots.

Ritsuka is literally the only person that can be with Mafuyu specially in this time and circumstances, cause like I said, simultaneously as Mafuyu is developing a relationship with him,he’s also trying to 1. Move forward and get over Yūki 2. Forgive himself and Yūki, which if u ask me doing those 2 things while being in a relationship, the other person has to be very patient and we can see that with Ritsuka so that’s why I think that he’s gonna be Mafuyu’s second and last love ❤️.

Special mention to the quote on the title: can’t say goodbye, I’m still drifting with your echoes.

I hope I can see our baby Mafuyu always like this cause my god this smol boi deserves pure and entire happiness after all the shit he’s been thru

I think I got a LOT out of my chest and if u’ve made it till here thank u so much, I love u and appreciate it to the bottom of my very very small fujoshi otaku heart