#I know in the past I’ve said some of these things myself… but I’m tired. i prefer to play with the stuff I’m given anyways

[kicktwine]

the past three or four media ive engaged with have all had posts made about them saying well the writers probably arent smart enough for ______ or the writers didnt do this on purpose but ______ or dont get your hopes up the writers wouldnt make these connections and i think thats enough!!! i have had enough bashing of well-meaning writers i have had enough of it from now on every writer is so so smart and everything they do is intentional and flawless and if i think a writing decision is stupid or the direction they went is bad no i dont and im gonna kiss each and every one of them on the mouth

[xgsturn]

good idea? - ( c.s )

summary: you couldn’t sleep so you decided to text chris asking if he wanted to smoke, it’s something you both always did and one thing lead to another.

warnings: SMUT, smoking (weed), oral (female receiving), pet names, (ma, baby), p n v (let’s not be silly wrap before u tap). probably more but idk

word count: 1,557

author’s note: this is my first one shot i’m scared LMFAOOO also i didn’t proofread sorry if there is any mistakes!!

please let me know if you want to be un added or added into the taglist. i had just decided to add my favorite writers!!

also my request & inbox are open 💓💓

-

i’ve been trying to fall asleep for the past 20 minutes. i’ve shifted and turned so many times i honestly lost count.

i open my eyes, groaning with annoyance. some nights i had trouble falling asleep, but there was always one solution to that problem.

i grab my phone, opening the messages app before quickly clicking chris’ contact.

this was a thing that happened every now and then. if one of us had troubles going to sleep i’d go over to his or vise versa. we’d smoke together and then usually get tired after that.

i hear a soft knock against my window signaling that he was here. i walked over to see chris sitting on the small balcony that was attached to the window.

i opened the window, climbing through feeling a slight breeze on my shoulders before shrugging it off.

“like i said you could’ve just used the door” i playfully roll my eyes at him.

“suck my dick” he replied back before sitting down on the ground. “when?” i said seriously. he raised his eyebrows and looked up at me.

“in all seriousness, you’re a life saver.” i sigh, sitting down, and relaxing my body.

he pulled out a fresh rolled joint from his sweatpants pocket, “i know” he smirked, putting the joint between his lips.

“lighter” he mumbles against the joint.

i toss him the lighter, watching as he lit it and inhaled before slowly blowing the smoke out.

i’ll never deny the fact that chris is hot, we had a flirty friendship from the beginning but nothing ever got to far.

he passes the joint to me, i relight it due to the wind causing it to ash out.

i inhale, feeling the smoke enter my lungs. i look at him as i blew it out.

the joint eventually dies out. i look over to chris, starting to admire the way the dim street light in front of him is showing off his features. his hair slightly messy, his eyes hanging low and red and fuck his lips-, he interrupts my thoughts.

“did you hear anything i just said?” he asks, his voice snapping me out of some trance i was in.

“sorry, what were you saying?”

“i asked if you wanted to go inside, it’s getting a little cold” he repeats himself, looking at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

“oh yeah, sorry just a bit distracted” i reply back covering my face from embarrassment.

as i’m climbing back into my room i feel chris’ gaze burning through me.

i get into my room and chris follows right behind me.

-

chris and i have been talking for the past 15 minutes. we both got onto our phones scrolling aimlessly, sitting in a comfortable silence.

i still can’t help to think about him, how his touch would feel on me, how his lips would feel against mine, how his long slender fingers would feel inside me.

i zoned out with a video playing over and over.

“what are you thinking about?” chris looked at me curiously through his low hooded eyes.

we were both still feeling the high effects.

what am i thinking about? i’m asking myself the same question. we have been best friends for years. i mean i’ve always found chris attractive, but tonight is different.

the way his body is leaned against the headboard, his biceps slightly flexing as he puts down his phone and crosses his arms, putting his full focus on me.

maybe it’s just the weed still lingering or maybe i just crave his touch.

“nothing.” i reply trying to act nonchalant but clearly not working.

“nothing, hm?” chris smiles loosely, as he looks down at my thighs then back up to my eyes, making heavy eye contact.

i follow his gaze down to my thighs, realizing how tightly squeezed they are.

i widened my eyes and look back up at him, before trying to relax the ache between my legs.

he puts his hand between my legs, spreading them open. he rotates his body, fully facing me now. his lips inches away from mine.

“is this a good idea?” i say studying his face for an answer.

“do you want this?” he replies in a serious tone.

“so bad but-.”

before i’m done speaking, i feel a hand on my jaw, pulling me closer to him and attaching my lips to his.

my body tenses from the sudden move but quickly relaxes soon after.

he bites my bottom lip softly, making my mouth part open giving him access to slip his tongue in.

he climbs on top of me, refusing to break the kiss.

our tongues fought for dominance before letting him win.

i tugged on his hair, signaling i wanted more. he groaned into my mouth, making me squeeze my legs around his waist. i couldn’t ignore the feeling between my thighs anymore.

“tell me what you want.” he spoke, trying to catch his breath. his lips pink and swollen.

i swallowed, “anything.” i feel desperate for him, wanting to feel some kind of relief.

“be more specific baby”

“need your fingers.” i mumbled quietly.

“good girl” he smirked, pulling my shorts down to my ankles. he slowly kisses my thighs going to the areas around my core.

he avoided where i needed him most.

“please.” i say while looking down at him through my lashes.

his hand still on the band of my pink thong. “can i take these off?” he whispered, looking at me. i nodded.

“i need to hear you say it ma”

“fuck, yes please” i practically beg.

he pushed my thong to the side before glazing one fingers over my entrance.

he slipped one fingers inside me slowly, letting me adjust. i moan into my hand muffling it.

he removes my hand from my mouth, putting it beside me. “i want your neighbors hearing how good i make you feel.”

i got even wetter after that sentence.

as i adjusted, i wanted more. “another one.. please” he listens to my commands and adds his second finger.

he started going faster, curling his fingers inside me and hitting that spongy spot each time. “f-fuck, chris.” i moan out, my fingers gripping my sheets.

he adds his mouth into the mix, sucking and licking my clit with such precision that made me start rolling my hips towards him.

my back was arching as he continued with his eyes fixed on my face.

i knew chris was experienced but i wasn’t expecting this.

my knees were already getting weak. “chris…” my hand going to his brown loose curls, tugging them. “i’m close.” i started to squirm underneath him.

“not yet.” he spoke against my cunt, sending vibrations through my entire body.

as soon as he said those words i couldn’t hold it anymore. the knot in my stomach eventually snapped, coating chris’ face and fingers with my cum.

“you can’t follow a simple rule?” his expression was stern and serious, while licking his fingers and mouth clean.

“i’m sorry, i couldn’t hold it” i reply, breathing heavy with worry all over my face.

he doesn’t say anything, instead he starts taking off his sweatpants following with his boxers. his dick springs free, hitting his stomach.

he was big and thick which honestly i wasn’t surprised about.

it was already leaking with pre cum. a vein coming from the tip to the base.

“think you can handle another?”

i move my eyes up to his face, “i- i don’t know if i can.” i stutter out.

“yes you can and you will” he says firmly.

his eyes darkened with lust, turning me on more.

i nod my head obeying him.

“which position do you want me in?”

“lay on your back so i can see your pretty face.” he slightly tilts his head and smirks.

the ache between my legs comes back causing me to clench my thighs again.

he notices and pushes his knee between my legs, leaving it against my bare cunt.

a pornographic moan leaving my mouth, as i try to grind against his knee to feel some kind of relief.

“be patient baby.” he strokes his dick a couple of times to fully harden it.

he removes his knee and bends down to push himself in.

we both moan feeling the pleasure that we were craving.

chris started thrusting his hips into mine at such a fast pace, and at this point i could cum at any minute.

he leans down and starts kissing my neck sloppily as he tries to remain at his pace.

“taking me so well.” he whispers into my ear.

“chris” that’s all i could say, my eyes rolling into the back of my head as my hips lazily jolted up meeting his thrust half way.

“hm? i fucked you dumb huh.” i nod as a response. i couldn’t even think of a sentence to prove him wrong.

he started rubbing on my clit fast. i threw my head back, my mouth hanging open but nothing coming out.

“cum for me ma.” he said maintaining eye contact, that was all i needed before i squirmed underneath him and came all over his dick. “that’s my girl” he whispered.

he groaned and let his head drop as came into me. i felt his warm liquid feel me up.

he dropped his body beside mine, turning to look at me. “holy fucking shit” he chuckled, catching his breath.

“so friends with benefits?” i suggest while also catching my breath. “fuck yes” he replies almost immediately, making me laugh beside him.

“here let’s go get you clean up” he says while getting up from the bed.

-

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[paigebueckersmommy]

just tired - p.b

paige bueckers x reader

requested by anon (kinda)

warnings: ed! , mental health issues, passing out

if you or anyone you know is struggling with an ed, don’t be afraid to reach out for help and my messages are open ❤️

you didn’t know what it was but recently you had been struggling a lot recently and didn’t know why. you had the worlds best girlfriend, and the best friends that you could ask for.

recently you found yourself looking at the back of food packaging, and always being tired.

the past 4 times you went to paige’s dorm you fell asleep almost instantly, which wasn’t normal for you. paige knew about your past with ed your freshman year, and was always checking in but things didn’t start getting bad for you till recently. paige had taken you on a vacation for your 2 year anniversary and you got insecure when you put on a swimsuit for the first time in months.

you were at paige’s dorm, laying in her bed with paige next to you eating a bag of goldfish. “baby do you want some?” paige said. “uh no i’m fine i had something before i came.” you say with uncertainty in your voice knowing that you wouldn’t be able to look at the food label without paige seeing. “are you okay princess? you’ve said that the past couple times you’ve been here when i’ve offered you food and your always falling asleep. i’m getting worried”paige said siting up and looking at you. “P, i promise im fine. “ you say pressing a kiss to her lips.

the next day

it was 7pm, and you were at the gym for the 2nd time that day. you were running on the treadmill watching the ‘cals. burned’ part of the screen go up when you got in incoming facetime call from paige. knowing she would freak out if she knew you were there for the 2nd time, you ran into the bathroom and into the stall at the end before picking up. you answer the phone, out of breath. “hi baby! i was wonder- ma where are you?” paige said with confusion. “oh uh- i’m at the gym.” you say knowing you couldn’t keep anything from paige. “baby didn’t you go this morning before your first class?” paige says.

“y-yea but i had some extra time on my hands tonight.” you say with shaky breath. “okay. as long as your eating 3 meals a day baby.” paige says with a sincere voice. “anyway i was wondering segue you get home if i could come over. i need to study and kk is being so loud playing fortnite… i also miss you.” you smile. “yea paige that’s fine ill be home in like 30 minutes.” you lie. you would be home in 15.

when you get home you shower, feeling faint. you change into sweats as you are cold despite taking a hot shower. you brush your hair and start walking into the living room when-

you pass out.

paige’s pov:

i jiggle my keys into her apartment door when i walk in and she’s on the floor of her living room. i immediately drop all my stuff, rushing next to her side. i start nudging and shaking her with panic, “baby wake up it’s me paige please baby,” i say as i feel a tear form and not long after i feel it fall.

readers pov:

i feel myself being shaken. was i asleep? did i fall asleep on my floor? “baby please wake up,” i hear paige say as i start to comprehend the things happening. “paige what happened,” you say, fluttering your eyes. “baby i think you passed out are you okay? why haven’t you been eating.” paige says as you notice that’s she’s crying.

“baby please talk to me. i’ve been worrried by you a lot recently.” paige helps you up as you both sit on your couch. “i-i don’t know. it’s just that i feel like my body isn’t good enough i need to lose weight.”

paige looks at you. “baby. your the most perfect girl i’ve ever met. every part of you, your personality, your body, your face, anything. you don’t have to change anything about you baby your already perfect.”

[cxptain-capsicle]

Beyond the Sea | Luke Castellan | III

Pairing: Luke Castellan x Unclaimed Poseidon Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, slow burn flashbacks, established relationship present day, Gods being terrible parents

Series Masterlist Taglist

“Luke.” You whispered, trying not to wake any of the other campers. “You awake?”

“Yeah,” He whispered back. “You okay?”

You had been at Camp for a few months now and Luke was already accustomed to being woken up from you jolting out of bed after a nightmare. He joked that some mornings he would nearly be thrown out of the top bunk.

“I didn;t have a nightmare, I just can’t sleep.” Your voice trailed off at the end. Within a second Luke was out of the top bunk, his feet hitting the hard wood made a loud sound that made you jump.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. You sat up in the bed and he came to sit next to you.

“I just-” You started but struggled to find the words. “I don’t think I’ll be claimed.” After your few weeks at camp the topic of being claimed felt taboo, like everyone was thinking the same thing and nobody wanted to say it. 

“You don’t know that.” He shook his head. “I knew a girl who got claimed after being here for almost a year. It can take time.”

“I’m tired of waiting.” You were too afraid to say anything negative about the gods while in one of their cabins. Especially the messenger god. “I just feel really alone.”

Luke didn’t say anything, he wrapped one arm around your shoulders and the other at the side of your head and pulled you into a hug.

When you woke up Percy was still asleep, you normally didn’t take too much to the new kids but you liked this one. You would be the first one to admit that you were jealous of the new arrivals seeing as most of them would be claimed within weeks. There was no point in becoming buddy-buddy with someone who would go off and get so wrapped up in their new siblings and godly parent that they forget all about you. Three years of radio silence from the gods had made you a little bitter. Luke would argue that maybe it was more than a little.

“I’m gonna take Percy around camp today,” Luke was slouched against the pillow in your bed. He grabbed one of his shoes and forcefully put it on. “Wanna come?”

“Get your shoes off of my bed.” You shoved his leg off the side of the bed, forcing him to sit up next to you. “And I’ll pass, Annabeth and I are gonna talk capture the flag.” 

“Oh come on I thought you liked him?” Luke always tried to get you to join him but talking about nothing but getting claimed for 3 hours wasn’t your idea of fun. 

“Not that much.” Before Luke could respond Percy sat up from his spot on the floor with a jolt. You had been asking Charlie Beckendorf, a Hephaestus camper, to make more bed frames for the cabin for months but it kept falling to the bottom of his priority list. Over the past few years the amount of kids in the Hermes cabin has grown faster than you could accommodate.

“You okay?” Luke asked as he rose to his feet.

“Super.” Percy groaned as he pulled himself off of the ground.

“We all have them, you know.” Luke was always the first to comfort new campers. “Intense, recurring nightmares. That's normal here. And the daydreams, and the ADHD, and dyslexia. Demigods just process reality differently than humans do. For the first time in your life, you're just like everyone else.”

“So are you also…” Percy said slowly. “Do you not know who your-”

“Am I unclaimed?” Luke finished for him. He glanced over at you instinctually. “No, Hermes is my father.” Like always mentioning Hermes made Luke stand up straighter. “That doesn't matter, we're all on the same team here.”

“I’m unclaimed.” You told Percy. “I’ve been here for 3 years.”

“Why is that okay?” He was talking directly to you now. “Why do they get to bring us here to just ignore some of us?”

“I’ve been asking myself that since the day I got here.” You couldn’t help but chuckle, he sounded exactly like you. “I get how you’re feeling but no matter what happens you’re gonna be fine.”

“Spend too much time trying to figure out why the gods do whatever it is they do, you'll drive yourself crazy.” Luke warned. “Sooner you stop worrying about that, the sooner you can enjoy what this place actually does offer.”

“And what's that?” Percy asked.

“Glory.” Luke smirked. “Demigods have always fought for glory. They used to call it kleos. It's like this stuff that attaches itself to your name. Makes it bigger, scarier, more important. People listen closer when you talk, they work harder to be your friend and they think twice about messing with you.” Before Luke could finish Clarisse passed by bumping Percy in the shoulder. 

“Hey!” Percy exclaimed, causing Clarisse to quickly turn around and push him down to the ground. 

“Woah!” Luke stepped up to Clarisse. “Hey. Knock it off, Clarisse. It's like his first day, come on.” You grabbed Percy’s arm and helped him up off the ground.

“Wait, so this is the kid who killed the Minotaur.” She had a devilish smile on her face. “Is that right?”

“Yeah?” Percy said cautiously. 

“I'll bet. Look, you want attention around here, dummy? You better be ready for it when it comes.” Clarisse made a fake lunge for him, causing Percy to jump.

“Clarisse, let it go.” You chimed in. She glanced at you for a moment before turning away with her friends. You and Clarisse weren’t friends exactly, she wasn’t friends with anyone outside of her cabin, especially not an unclaimed kid, but you weren’t enemies. You got along well enough, you would spar together, you mutually respected each other. Every once in a while you might even have a few laughs at the campfire.

“Well, she seems nice.” Percy said flatly. 

“Ares kids.” Luke sighed. “They come by it honestly.”

“Maybe she’ll grow on you.” You shrugged. “I kinda like her, then again she doesn’t bother me.”

“Why don't they mess with you?” Percy asked Luke.

“They know better.” Luke said proudly. 

“Luke's the strongest swordsman at camp.” Chris explained.

“I’m second.” You chimed in. “For the record.”  

“So, they leave you alone because ‘glory’?” Percy asked and Luke nodded. “So if I get glory, Clarisse wouldn't mess with me either?”

“Exactly.”

“And people think I'm a big deal?”

“Well, sorta, but-” Luke started.

“I don’t know about all that.” You said

“And my dad's got no choice but to claim me.” Percy finished. You and Luke sighed and looked at eachother. You understood his eagerness to be seen. 

“You can't force the gods to do anything.” Luke told Percy gently.

“Believe me, I’d know. I tried.” You added.

“Well, yeah, but... it would make it harder for him to pretend I don't exist, right?” 

“It’s worth a shot.” You shrugged.

“It is?” Luke swiveled to look at you.

“I mean it couldn’t hurt.” You just wanted to give the poor kid some hope.

“Great.” Percy perked up. “Where do we start?”

When you had nightmares you knew you were in a dream but that didn’t make it any less scary. You were on a beach, it was dark, the sky shades of purple and blue. There were storms; the waves were five times higher than your head. You were alone, the beach extended as far as your eyes could see. With nothing else to do you began walking down the beach. With every step your feet became heavier- wait, no- you were sinking. The sand was vibrating causing you to sink further and further into it. You were struggling to try to pull your feet out of the sand until you heard voices that made you freeze. Luke. Then Annabeth. Grover. Clarisse. And a young boy's voice that you didn’t recognize. You could make out each of their voices but not what they were saying. Their voices were frantic, they were calling for help, they were in danger. You fought harder but it only made you sink faster.

“Luke!” You screamed out just as your head went beneath the sand.

You woke up with a jolt gasping for air, panting, and drenched in sweat. You peered to the bunk above you to see if you had woken Luke but there was no movement. You pulled yourself out of bed as quietly as possible to not wake anyone. You debated waking Luke but decided against it. You slipped your shoes on and grabbed a jacket that you kept by your bed. As quietly as you could you tiptoed across the cabin and out the front door. You went out the door past the Hephaestus cabin, then Apollo, Ares, then Poseidon. Just as you were about to pass the mess hall a voice erupted from the silence of the night. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” It was Luke. 

“Oh my gods, Luke.” You nearly doubled over with shock. “You didn’t have to sneak up on me.”

“Why are you out here?” He came close to you, placing his hands on the sides of your arms. “It’s the middle of the night. It’s freezing.”

“I- I had another nightmare.” 

“The same one?” He asked and you nodded. You had been at camp for almost a year now and had been having the same dream for almost six months. “Why are you out here?”

“I just needed fresh air, I guess.” You crossed your arms over your chest, honestly you didn’t know why you were out here.

Luke gave you a sympathetic smile. 

“Okay let’s walk then.”

You and Luke walked together quietly for a while. You walked through the woods until you reached the Long Island sound. It was the same beach as the one in your dream but even in the dead of night it wasn’t as cold, as scary as it was in your dreams. Sometimes after a particularly bad night you would come here to remind yourself that it was just a dream. This was the first time Luke had come with you to the beach and it gave you much more comfort. 

“This isn’t your first time out here is it?” Luke glanced at you with a smile, he knew the answer.

“No,” You chuckled. “I guess I find it relaxing.”

The two of you found a place to sit on the sand just above the tide. Luke sat to your left, your shoulders touching trying to conserve the little warmth between you. There was a silence between you that felt safe and comfortable. You rested your head on Luke’s shoulder and he rested his head against yours. You felt something cold touch the side of your hand and looked down to see Luke's hand inching closer to yours. It felt like you were moving in slow motion but eventually Luke had your hand clasped in his. You and Luke had always had a special relationship. From the second he found you in the cave and pulled you into his lap you were bonded. He gave you his bunk when you came to camp. Showed you around and always stayed at your side. Listened to you grovel about not being claimed day in and day out. You had hugged before but never held hands and it never felt like this before.

“You’re not alone.” Luke whispered to you. The sound of the waves and Luke’s voice were music to your ears. You were entranced, Luke was so close you could feel his breath on your cheek. The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon providing just enough light to bounce off of the water and reflect onto Lukes face. The light made his brown eyes glitter. You had never looked at Luke this way before. You were so close and millimeter by millimeter you were getting closer and closer-

“Oh!” You both exclaimed as the freezing cold water of the tide splashed up on you both, soaking you in sea water. Each of you rose to your feet eagerly running from the water before doubling over in laughter.

“Oh, that’s freezing!” You cried out through your laughs. When you finally caught your breath Luke was in front of you staring down at you seriously. “What is it?”

“I mean it,” He was breathing heavily. “You’re not alone here.” 

“I know Luke,” You nodded. “But-,” Luke cocked his head, unsure of what else you had to say.

“I’ve been alone my whole life Luke. No parents, no family. Camp was where I was supposed to find that. But my parent couldn’t care less that I even exist.” You rambled.

“I know that you’re upset-” Luke tried but you cut him off.

“I’m not upset Luke. I’m angry!” You shouted. You felt your face turn hot with anger, your heart beat fast. “I’m furious that they would abandon me-”

“Y/n-” Luke tried but you kept going.”

“They would humiliate me, over and over. My entire life!” You were fuming, your blood boiling.

“Y/n!” He shouted.

“What!” You yelled back. Just now you realized that Luke wasn’t looking at you. He was looking behind you. You turned around to see a massive wave, 30 feet high, suspended behind you. Your anger turned to confusion and just as it did the wave came crashing down at your feet, returning to the sea like it was never there.

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[hamiltonaf]

Can you do one with Kylian being very jealous of yn all the time and every time she talks to a guy friend he gets mad and makes a big fuss about it and yn gets tired of him and wants to leave him but then he gets upset and begs for forgiveness but she is so tired of his bullshit and want to take a break from the relationship but after 1-2 months they get back together and he got jealous again so she wants to know why he is like that and it turned out that his ex girlfriend cheated on him multiple times so he had trust issues and she assured him that she wasn’t going to do the same thing

Trust Issues | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Minor angst

A/N: Hii loves ! I’m finally back. Apologies for being MIA, I had a lot going on, plus I had writers block. I’m sorry in advance if the end is disappointing - I honestly feel like I forgot how to write lol. If you’ve sent a request before, please note that I’m working on it. Anywho, enjoy .xoxo

Never thought I’d come to a point in life where I had to cut off all my guy friends for Kylian’s sake. I’ve told myself in the past that if I had to face that in a relationship then I’m walking out. Mentally I’m playing hangman with Kylian’s name.

I love Kylian, I really do, it’s also cute at times to see him get jealous but when it comes to a point when he tells me that I need to stop talking to my guy friend then I don’t vibe with that. He’s basically saying that he doesn’t trust me.

We’ve fought, he apologised, I looked past it for us to move on, but he just crossed the line.

I went out for a friend’s birthday dinner, Kylian decided to stay back and chill at home, though he promised he would pick me up after. The birthday dinner felt like a reunion as some of us were seeing each other after years, it was great catching up with everyone, especially Daniel. Him and I were really close growing up as our parents were good friends, but since I moved and was with Kylian I rarely attended gatherings.

It was getting quite late and Kylian was delayed, I didn’t bother rushing him since Daniel was accompanying me and we were just catching up on lost time. We were stood outside the restaurant, dinner had just ended, some had left and others were in their own conversations. “So how are things going? What have you been up to ?” Daniel eagerly asked. “Well, I’m in my final year of studying so it’s been a bit much but I’m coping. How are things going for you ?” I replied. “Life is great. Can’t complain” he smiled proudly. “Still running your parent’s empire I suppose” I smiled. “Nothing has changed” he grinned.

“Good for you Dan. You’re living the dream” I half laughed. “I’m living the dream ?” He scoffed. “Yeah of course ! You’re travelling literally every other month, flying first class and living the good life” I said. “Yeah but you’re the one dating the football player !” He stated. “Speaking of him, let me just check how far he is” I paused to check my phone if perhaps Kylian called or messaged. Nothing.

Just as I locked my phone, my head turned when I heard a car rev in the distance, he’s here. “Oh look. There he is” I said as both of our heads snapped to Kylian pulling up beside us. Daniel leaned towards the car as Kylian rolled down the window, “Hey man, I’m Daniel” he introduced himself. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kylian” Kylian shook his hand. “Heard a lot about you. We should meet up soon, I’ll message (Y/N)” Daniel suggested. “Yeah sure” Kylian said lastly. “Take care bro” Daniel said before pulling me in for a hug. “Bye Dan. Until next time” I murmured. “Until then. Ciao” he said as his hand rubbed my back before breaking away from our hug.

I got into the car and immediately I could feel the tension in the air. “Hi baby” I smiled as I leaned in to kiss his cheek. He didn’t say anything or react, he just remained stiff. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t ready to face the drama for the umpteenth time. Choosing not to say anything in the car until we got home was the best decision. The second the door shut, he didn’t surprised me by being the one to bring it up. “What was that ?” He raised his voice. “What was what ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Who even was that Daniel guy ? I was there for only a minute and I could see the way he was looking at you. You both seemed to enjoy that hug a little too much” he said. I scoffed, “Are you being serious right now ?”

“Do I look like I’m joking ?” He yelled annoyed. “You have honestly lost it !” I yelled as I turned my back on him and stormed towards our room. “(Y/N) I’m talking to you !” He yelled for me as he followed me to the room. “How the hell can you say we enjoyed that hug a little too much. Are you trying to call me a cheater ?” I raised my voice as I turned around to face him. “You’re just putting words into my mouth. My point is that if another person had seen you both together, they would think you’re a couple. I don’t want you seeing him again” he said.

“You know what Kylian ? I’m done” I huffed. “What do you mean done ?” He asked baffled. “I mean that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t continue being in a relationship where my own boyfriend doesn’t even trust me or allows me to talk to other guy friends of mine without assuming I’m cheating. I’m living a lie by staying in this relationship. Go find yourself a girlfriend that you can control because I’m not that girl” I said before getting a bag and packing it with my belongings.

“Babe please don’t do this. I swear I’m not trying to control you. I’ll admit that I got jealous, okay ? But please don’t go. I love you so much, what will I do without you ?” he pleaded and tried to stop me from packing but I continued.

“No Kylian ! Today you literally crossed the line, I couldn’t care so much for the other guys you said I need to stop talking to, but the fact that Daniel and I go way back and now you want me to cut off our friendship ? He’s basically apart of my family because his parents and my parents are friends. Kylian…I’m so tired honestly of us going back and forth. It just bothers me that Daniel attempted to be your friend in that minute you met but instead you ignore all of that and insinuate that I cheated ? Get some help because I need a break from your shit…this has gone past jealousy” I said in anger, I didn’t have it in me to cry.

“(Y/N) please. I’ll change okay ? I’ll do better. But please don’t go. Please give me another chance” he begged. “Kylian I gave you way too many chances. I can’t believe how long I’ve dealt with this and didn’t leave sooner” I said as I zipped up my bag. “So that’s it ? You’re just going to throw away a 2 year relationship ?” He asked. “All I know right now is that we need space away from each other. I love you Kylian, I do, but I think it’s best for the both of us” I pressed my lips together as I threw my bag over my shoulder. “So we’re over ?” He asked teary eyed. “I- please don’t make this harder than it already is” my voice cracked as I looked up in hopes that my tears would disappear.

“Babe you can’t give up on us. We’re meant for each other” he said as he grabbed my hands and rubbed small circles at the back of them. “Kylian, consider this a break rather than a break up. We can both wisely use this time to focus on ourselves…if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other.”

Those were the last words I’ve said to him face-to-face. I left that night and ended up staying at my parent’s house. They were surprised to see me and were quick to ask where Kylian was, I just lied that he’s travelling for an away game. 2 weeks of staying with my parents raised suspicion and they figured out that something was wrong, my mom especially. I told my mom exactly what happened and luckily she took the hint to not talk about it.

Not a day passed that I didn’t receive a message from Kylian. Countless ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ flooded my phone daily, it wasn’t easy taking this time to focus on myself when he was on my mind all day. Whilst making his message clear, he indirectly would ask for us to talk it out and as much as it hurts, I refused. No point in us getting back together if he’s going to go back to square one.

After about a week, I caved in and started replying back to his messages. Eventually easing in to phone calls and FaceTimes. It’s been 3 weeks since that day I called on a break, today I decided it’s time to meet and talk things out.

He seemed sincere and genuine when we met, of course I couldn’t help but give him another chance. We were meeting for one week as if we were in love all over again and after that one week, we’re back together.

Daniel was in town and he wanted to meet up, I happily accepted his lunch invite and was looking forward to rekindling our friendship. Kylian was at training so I thought I’d get ready in the meantime until he was back.

“Ma chérie !” He called as he entered. “In the room, Ky !” I yelled. He came into the room and whistled behind me. “You look beautiful” he said as he placed a kiss on my neck. “Thank you babe” I blushed. “Where are you going ?” He asked as he walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. “I’m going out for lunch with Daniel” I said casually. “Wait, what !” He asked as he stood up. “Why ? I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t see him ?” He said as he changed his tone. I dropped my mascara on the counter and stood up, “Are you back to this nonsense where I can’t have guy friends ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Do you not know how the story goes about childhood guy friends falling for their girl friends ?” He stood up to stand arms length away from me. “No, Kylian ! That’s not how the story goes. Do you not know it takes two people to be in love which hello ? I’m obviously not.” I said as I started to grow angry. “(Y/N), you don’t know how a guys mind works” he said as he shut his eyes for a second. “Before I walk out of this relationship one more time, could you care to explain your reasoning behind why I can’t have guy friends ?” I raised a brow. His face softened when he heard me mention walking out.

“Babe please no . I’m sorry” he rushed over to me to hold my hands in his. I pulled my hands away from his grip, “Explain Kylian…I can’t continue entertaining this.” He sighed and dropped his head before mustering up the courage. “I have trust issues because of my ex” he admitted. I was shocked. “Well, what happened ?” I asked curiously.

“I trusted her and was never one to question anything she did until I found out she cheated on me with those guys she called her friends. Soo…I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst, I was heartbroken and felt betrayed. It’s been hard for me to accept having trust. It’s not you babe, I promise I trust you, I just fear that your guy friends will convince you to leave me and walk away from our relationship. I can’t bare losing you, not again after the break” he said as he got emo. “Aww Ky” I pouted as I pulled him in for a hug. We never left each others embrace for a few minutes until Kylian broke away to kiss my forehead.

“I’m glad I got that off my chest. You deserved to know. I love you so much and I’m sorry for my behaviour. I’m trying to be a better boyfriend for you after our break so please be patient with me” he pouted. “I get it now. Thank you for being honest babe” I gave him a quick peck on his lips. “You can go out with Daniel, I won’t stop you any longer” he sighed. “Look, as your girlfriend, I want to help you through this. Remember Daniel suggested you guys going out ? Well why don’t you join us, I’ll send him a message and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. That way you have an idea of what Daniel is like and you have a peace of mind. Also, it’s not just about trusting Daniel, I would like if you and Daniel could be friends. I mean the man is practically family” I half laughed before sending a message to Daniel. “Shame I feel bad now for hating on the guy” he sighed. “Well what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” I winked then sent the message.

[edenmemes]

god of war: ragnarok starters

may contain spoilers !

❝ trust? you have broken my trust. ❞ ❝ you seemed troubled in your sleep, even for you. nightmares? ❞   ❝ if you’re not fighting dirty, you’re not fighting, right? ❞   ❝ the worst is still ahead of us. we must be strong. ❞   ❝ it’s times like this i really miss home. ❞ ❝ you must live with your deeds, but do not be troubled by them. ❞ ❝ you don’t strike me as someone who fears death. ❞ ❝ that is not who i am anymore. ❞   ❝ the problem doesn’t have to reach our doorstop to be our responsibility. ❞   ❝ please don’t make me do this. ❞   ❝ the storm is getting worse. ❞   ❝ i’d offer you a hug, but why traumatise either of us further. ❞   ❝ whatever anger you’re feeling, whatever loathing toward me...it’s nothing to what i’ve said to myself. ❞   ❝ i know the hate that burns you from within. i’ve felt those flames...known the comfort of their warmth. ❞   ❝ i do not need you to protect me. ❞   ❝ be glad you have a home to remember fondly. ❞   ❝ you’ve come a long way since i first met you. ❞   ❝ the pain only grows. will i ever be free of it? ❞ ❝ i need you...i can’t do this by myself. ❞   ❝ got a case of pride, i get it. hope yours clears up quicker than mine did. ❞   ❝ you were given an impossible problem. do not blame yourself for failing to solve it. ❞ ❝ you speak of your deeds with shame. ❞ ❝ i wronged you. and i cannot change that...and can never apologise enough for it. ❞   ❝ we do not know what lies ahead. i wish to enjoy the time we have left. ❞   ❝ there is no need to shoulder this burden on your own. ❞   ❝ i suppose that’s all any of us can hope for in the end. that our death has purpose. ❞   ❝ i don’t need to hear about your mistakes. i’ve made enough of my own, thanks. ❞   ❝ some free advice? you don’t want to let anyone catch you talking to your sword. ❞   ❝ you reek of cheap mead and that is by far your most endearing characteristic. ❞   ❝ i expected you to come and find me. that no matter how hurt or angry, you wouldn’t abandon me when i needed you the most. ❞   ❝ you started this fight --- i will end it. ❞   ❝ you don’t have to do this kinda stuff just to keep my mind off things. ❞   ❝ could i ever think of this place as home again? after all that’s happened? ❞   ❝ all too often, people are blinded to all but their immediate self-interest. ❞ ❝ not exactly a calming presence, are you? ❞ ❝ know that all reigns end, and all empires fall. ❞ ❝ do not doubt the lengths i will go to. ❞ ❝ so much has been taken from me and i’m supposed to let it all go? ❞   ❝ if you don’t think i could lead us, just say so. ❞ ❝ i’m not saying anything you haven’t thought. ❞ ❝ there’s no making this right, is there? ❞ ❝ love should be---could be---stronger than hatred. ❞ ❝ it seems to me we share a common enemy. ❞ ❝ i know how bad it can get with one’s own kin. ❞ ❝ seems the only thing i can do right these days is destroy everything around me. ❞ ❝ i am haunted by your incompetence. it keeps me up at night. ❞ ❝ so i’m not allowed to give you a nickname? ❞ ❝ oooh, getting nosey. getting personal. ❞ ❝ that’s the most dangerous and irresponsible thing i’ve ever heard. ❞ ❝ i haven’t given up hope on you. ❞ ❝ i had hoped my days of ceaseless battles were over. ❞ ❝ to grieve deeply is to love fully. ❞ ❝ the truth is always more complicated. to imagine it’s simple is dangerous. ❞   ❝ you're a killer, just like your father. ❞ ❝ you think you just get to walk away? ❞   ❝ uh...someone’ll clean that up. ❞ ❝ i dont know if we’re breaking fate, or fate’s breaking us. ❞ ❝ how can you, of anyone alive, be squeamish about war? ❞ ❝ oh, wow...that’s quite the compliment. ❞ ❝ i grow tired of your lack of empathy. ❞ ❝ to abandon a poisonous path and walk another is no small challenge. ❞   ❝ can i get you a water or something? ❞ ❝ confronting the past comes with a price. ❞ ❝ i want things to be the way they were. ❞ ❝ being in love’s always a risk. that’s what makes it fun. ❞ ❝ i was always fond of our talks, you know. ❞ ❝ curiosity’s all well and good...but so’s privacy, yes? ❞ ❝ whatever you ask, consider it done. i am forever in your debt. ❞ ❝ what’s the biggest thing you’ve ever fought? ❞ ❝ so...was this all that you hoped for? ❞ ❝ the closer we get, the more tightness grows in my chest. ❞ ❝ your path leads to countless deaths. unimaginable pain and suffering. ❞ ❝ can’t you take a joke, you old goat? ❞ ❝ everyone takes it easy on you because they’re scared of your father. ❞ ❝ that’s family.    you got to keep them close where they can make you good and crazy. ❞ ❝ maybe, for the moment, you’re of more use to me alive. ❞ ❝ look at the ruins before you and understand the truth: this was your doing. ❞ ❝ forgive me. my words were chosen carelessly. ❞ ❝ my success does not come from luck. ❞ ❝ just shut up and drink. ❞ ❝ no matter the size, every creature has a weakness. ❞ ❝ sometimes we never really know the ones we love. ❞ ❝ tell me about your homeland. ❞ ❝ leadership? not really my strong suit, let’s be honest. ❞ ❝ what am i gonna do, walk around with a bandage on my head, begging for attention? ❞ ❝ why are you so bent on hurting me like this? i’ve done nothing to you. ❞ ❝ you seem like a calm and reasonable person.      are you a calm and reasonable person? ❞ ❝ i’ve seen my fair share of bloodshed, but this is an awful lot for one morning. ❞ ❝ if you’re planning on killing me, at least let me finish this song. ❞ ❝ everywhere i look, i am reminded of my mistakes. ❞ ❝ i have seen many lands. many realms. i can tell you with some certainty: no such paradise exists. ❞ ❝ do something about it or shut up already. ❞ ❝ breaking tension with humour is the sacred duty of a travelling companion. ❞ ❝ forgiveness can be powerful. even for the unworthy. ❞ ❝ you have no idea the kind of shit i’ve been through. ❞ ❝ our actions have consequences. to be reminded of them is not a punishment. ❞ ❝ take the hint. go away. ❞ ❝ something is on your mind. what is it? ❞ ❝ what a twisted little soul you have. ❞ ❝ your eyes say everything. ❞ ❝ me and you against the world, huh? just like the old days. ❞ ❝ there is no making things right. only better than they were. ❞ ❝ without me? i thought we were partners. ❞ ❝ this will end in blood. the only question that remains is which side is willing to spill more. ❞ ❝ i have lost myself before. more than once. ❞ ❝ you cannot sneak up on me like that. ❞ ❝ is it always moral to kill something that’s trying to kill you? ❞ ❝ we’ve gotta be more than a bunch of stories with our endings already written. ❞ ❝ the smell is making my eyes burn. ❞ ❝ you are staring... ❞ ❝ even the brightest among us carry darkness. ❞ ❝ anyone ever tell you that you babble when you’re terrified? ❞ ❝ every path i walk...leads back to vengeance. ❞ ❝ maybe our families are just meant to be enemies. ❞ ❝ i know how it feels...to lose a parent. ❞ ❝ your love of this place...i can feel it. anyone can. ❞ ❝ what you can do is get the fuck out of my sight. ❞ ❝ it was stupid of me to hope in the first place. ❞ ❝ is that regret in your voice? ❞ ❝ there are things even gods cannot control. ❞ ❝ you don’t care about anyone beyond yourself. ❞ ❝ say something. i enjoy hearing your voice. ❞ ❝ does it frighten you? that is why you must do it. ❞ ❝ the dumb doesn’t fall far from the tree. ❞ ❝ you’re quite agitated, even for you. ❞ ❝ ain’t you never seen a legend in the flesh before? ❞ ❝ you are one of the few i would call a ‘friend’. ❞ ❝ this place is kinda pretty, when things aren’t trying to kill us. ❞ ❝ i find the hues and shades of your shortcomings almost moving. ❞ ❝ i still might kill you when this is over. ❞ ❝ i wish i could do more, i really do. ❞ ❝ do you ever have those moments where you wish you could...go back? rewrite your own past, make different decisions. ❞ ❝ do you want me to stop talking about your muscles? ❞ ❝ you are a formidable warrior, but even more than that, you have a good heart. ❞ ❝ this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❞ ❝ i’m trying to save your life, you big jerk. ❞ ❝ at least something out here doesn’t wanna kill me. ❞ ❝ i’ll just say it. i’m getting a really terrible feeling from this place. ❞ ❝ violence changes us. you are not weak to feel its effects. ❞ ❝ i’ve always loved you, you know. ❞ ❝ what side are you on anyway? ❞ ❝ everything was fine until you showed up. ❞ ❝ i have been...falling back into my old ways. angry. distrustful. ❞ ❝ one day, you will have to survive. without me. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to like me but...we’re gonna have to trust each other. ❞ ❝ you think war drives me? or power? wealth? no. never has. ❞ ❝ and they say i’m the bad guy. ❞ ❝ you feel it in the air, don’t you? the anxiety. ❞ ❝ i’m not being weird, you’re being weird. ❞ ❝ sure you’re up for breaking the rules like this? ❞ ❝ doubt is a weakness we cannot afford. ❞ ❝ mm. i do not like riddles. ❞ ❝ it just seems like a lot for someone your age. ❞ ❝ use the judgement of a man and not of a child. ❞ ❝ so what are we supposed to do? roll over? do nothing? ❞ ❝ war will not give you the purpose you seek. ❞ ❝ nasty hit! are you alright? ❞ ❝ well, glad you survived the first day. ❞ ❝ what do you think? is there a right side in this war? ❞ ❝ didn’t you ever have an awkward phase in your youth? ❞ ❝ you will not find me good company. ❞ ❝ how about we just don’t kill each other? ❞ ❝ what have your promises ever been worth? ❞ ❝ why would you come this way alone? ❞ ❝ leave now, whether you value your life or peace in your death. ❞ ❝ i put you in so much pain. put you in a terrible situation. ❞ ❝ the most difficult battles are fought within. ❞ ❝ it’s not my job to teach you everything. ❞ ❝ thanks for patching me up. ❞ ❝ loss can do things to a man. ❞ ❝ i don’t know why i thought i could do this alone. ❞ ❝ i will do what it takes to keep you safe. ❞ ❝ a desperate creature can be the most dangerous. ❞ ❝ you’re just sharing your thoughts on a subject you know nothing about. ❞ ❝ this isn’t who you want to be. ❞ ❝ i knew this was going too smoothly. ❞ ❝ can one man do this much damage? ❞ ❝ this is your final warning. ❞ ❝ you have a lot of nerve, know that? ❞ ❝ i am counting on you. to be safe. to be smart. ❞ ❝ uh, maybe that’s not a good idea? ❞ ❝ well, that was violent. ❞ ❝ don’t go to too much trouble on my account. ❞ ❝ are you not a soldier? are you not a leader of people? ❞ ❝ just when i thought you couldn’t get even more godly. ❞ ❝ do you wish to speak of what happened? ❞ ❝ you have no hold on me any more. ❞ ❝ have you ever been in love? ❞ ❝ mind if i give you the best advice you’ve heard all day and possibly ever? sleep. ❞ ❝ you’ll have my wise and faithful counsel always. ❞ ❝ look, i just want to do the right thing. ❞ ❝ all i ask for is a good night’s rest. ❞ ❝ you’re angry with me, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ we live in strange times. ❞ ❝ do you hear that? i thought i heard a voice. ❞ ❝ any outsider is considered a threat. ❞ ❝ it is not always wrong to trust people. ❞ ❝ never thought i’d be so relieved to be back here. ❞ ❝ well, we all make mistakes. ❞ ❝ this is the craziest thing i’ve ever done. ❞ ❝ when we get out of here, i’ll give you some space. ❞ ❝ violence cannot prevent violence. ❞ ❝ the truth can be a cruel thing. ❞ ❝ defy your prophecy at your own peril. ❞ ❝ i must say, i think we make a good team. ❞ ❝ where would you even be without me? ❞ ❝ calm your mind. control it. ❞ ❝ you look...weirder than i imagined. ❞ ❝ we must tread carefully. danger is close. ❞ ❝ there are worse things to discover about someone you love. ❞ ❝ i know how it feels to be wronged. ❞ ❝ did you just wake up with the urge to be a pain in my ass? ❞ ❝ is it revenge if justice is served? ❞ ❝ sometimes there is no other way. ❞ ❝ all journeys come to an end. ❞ ❝ you’re the first person that i’ve talked to in a really long time. ❞ ❝ i’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment. ❞ ❝ so...do you forgive me? ❞ ❝ sorry, i’m just really excited to talk to you. ❞ ❝ is there any way to stop fate? ❞ ❝ it would be the first time in a while i have something truly mine. ❞ ❝ the earth is the reflection of those who tend it. ❞ ❝ i have to say. i am profoundly unimpressed. ❞ ❝ i did not come to you for a lecture. ❞ ❝ perhaps there is a measure of monster inside us all. ❞ ❝ i was about to look for you. ❞ ❝ i said we would speak no more of that. ❞ ❝ peace cannot endure without force to protect it. ❞ ❝ what is it you will not tell me? ❞ ❝ where has everyone gone, i wonder? ❞ ❝ i suppose we’re all entitled to walk our own paths. regardless of where they end. ❞ ❝ you are in way over your head. ❞ ❝ so much about that day i wish i could change. ❞ ❝ it is difficult to seek forgiveness when you feel unworthy. ❞ ❝ i don’t recall asking you to come along. ❞ ❝ don’t you know who i am? ❞ ❝ real power does not need to flaunt. it emerges when the time is right. ❞ ❝ i don’t move, you don’t move. don’t do anything you’ll regret. ❞ ❝ sorry we got off on the wrong foot there. ❞ ❝ i meant it when i said you’re not a prisoner here. ❞ ❝ the culmination of love is grief, and still we open our hearts to the inevitable. ❞ ❝ why aren’t we working together? ❞ ❝ maybe together we can take back what’s ours. ❞ ❝ you don’t hear me spreading your business all around town, do you? ❞ ❝ you judge me? you? ❞ ❝ you think i’m being stupid. ❞ ❝ go before i change my mind. ❞ ❝ you deserve nothing but pain. ❞ ❝ always expect the unexpected. ❞ ❝ don’t go telling anyone about that. ❞ ❝ i shouldn’t have listened to you. ❞ ❝ you think my anger is irrational? ❞ ❝ prophecies are slippery by nature. ❞ ❝ seek no quarrel with me, and i’ll have no quarrel with you. ❞ ❝ you’re a destroyer, like me. ❞ ❝ you think i’m trouble? you just met me. ❞ ❝ not sure that makes me feel any better... ❞ ❝ let me see the monster inside. ❞ ❝ i know what you’re doing.     trying to play on my sympathies in the hope i let you live. ❞ ❝ i do not want you to feel alone. ❞ ❝ the mistakes of the past need not be repeated. ❞ ❝ never mind...i shouldn’t have asked. ❞ ❝ i regret many things. killing you will not be one of them. ❞ ❝ do you believe in fate? ❞ ❝ you can’t kill what you can’t catch. ❞ ❝ i just could use some fresh air, is all. ❞ ❝ i told you never to come back here. ❞  

[fayeforrosie]

Blooming For You

Part 5

Karina x Fem! Reader

Today was finally the day Karina could confess her everlasting feelings for you, but there's always something in the way

Part 5 to The Only One I Want

Warnings- Swearing, angst if you read upside down with sunglasses

Word Count- like 3k maybe i forgor

“And when I’m with you, I almost feel like I’m a different person. It’s like I can just be myself without the worry of disappointing my audience and those who support me. I’ve never felt this way before, and before meeting you, I would have never guessed I would be able to experience such protruding feelings. So, Y/n... with all of this said... I would love it if I could take you out sometime, not as a friend, but as your girlfriend.” 

Karina stood tall, shoulders high as her chin pointed proudly. She took a breath as her gaze had yet to fall, the corners of her lips threatening to upturn against her better judgement. 

“Um no thanks”, Ningning glared back at Karina, her face conveying pure disgust as her eyebrows dipped lower than her rolled eyes. 

“Ning that’s not helping!” The leader shouted, reaching over to connect her two hands into the youngest member’s shoulders, pushing her back as she almost fell off of the side of the bed. 

Ningning laughed, wiping the fake tears that were apparently spilling from her eyes, pretending to hold her stomach as if her laughter was corrupting her airway. 

“I’m sorry I'm sorry... it sounds great Karina. I know you’ve been practicing so don’t worry about it, okay? Just be natural, who is she to say no to you if you’re just being yourself?” 

Karina took a breath, calming herself down and putting her mind at ease. Ning was right, she told herself, you’ve been nothing but welcoming of Karina ever since she met you. Everything you’ve done for her, from tutoring the idol and supporting her goal to become a fine artist like yourself, to becoming a friendly face in which Karina never had to wonder if you would be there for her as a friend, physically and emotionally. 

So why was she worried? 

Well for one, you are the only person Karina believed she could ever fall in love with. You were almost too perfect to be real, as if Karina were to rip a sheet of paper off of her undusted scrap journal and jot down a list of things that would make the ideal significant other.

Maybe in the past, Karina would leave the sheet blank, unable to come up with any feature or trait that could create the perfect person for her, as she believed that there could be nobody she would fall for, and she will never experience such a thing, but now, Karina is for certain that you are the very, and only, girl that she wishes for. 

“Ok... I’m gonna do it Ning”, Karina pumps her first in the air, lips sealed together in certainty. 

“I believe in you Rina! Go get ‘em!” 

- 

In your art room, sensing goosebumps arise on your skin as you walk over to clothes the blinds of the window, you hum to yourself the rhythm of the faint noise of one of Aespa’s song, Lucid Dream. 

Before ever meeting Jimin, you had seen her face plastered on every building, her smile persisting you in every makeup ad across the street, becoming exceedingly memorable. Nevertheless, you weren’t exactly familiar with who she was as a person, although fans necessarily haven’t a clue on who their idol is behind camera, you were antithetical to those who have her birth chart, shoe size, and coffee order memorized. 

Sure, you’ve seen people doing one of her group’s dance challenge out on the street, or the sound of her songs playing in a local café, however her music was not something you were exactly acquainted to. 

Now, Jimin has become a close friend of yours, visiting you nearly every day, to the best of her ability, and not only working hard to better her artistic capability, but even becoming comfortable enough to come in some days, too tired from work, and simply rest her fatigued body on your arm and make conversation with you for the remainder of your class.  

She had recently found out that you weren’t one to listen to her music, as you enjoyed more Western artists, with the exception of Twice, which she was a bit offended by, so she took it upon herself to introduce you to her entire discography, lasting longer than you’d be fond off. 

When Jimin played the song you were hearing at this moment, it instantly caught your attention, and when she observed the angelic and beautiful smile painted across your face, your eyes squinting in attentiveness, she promised herself she’d work on more songs that would have relevance to your taste. 

The song ended, along with your night, so you waltzed your way to your desk, readying yourself to head back home. Jimin was supposed to come over for a class today, but she cancelled only an hour ago as she was stuck wasting her time at work, her words not yours. 

It saddened you, because candidly you found pleasure in her presence, you enjoy when she is next to you, her soft voice carrying through the light atmosphere, soft music in the background as you soak yourself in the moment. It was something you found yourself looking forward to, and in fact, you sought Karina was only thing on your mind recently. 

You thought of her before you went to bed, snuggling yourself in the warmth of your blanket, wondering what it would feel like if her arms were to just slowly wrap themselves around your waist, pulling you closer to her body. 

You thought of her when you were driving, imagining her in the passenger seat, a smirk displayed on her mouth as she put on her own group’s music, laughing when you roll your eyes and tell her you’ve listened to it about a hundred times now. 

Maybe you were delusional, but you thought of her in ways that a friend, or a co-worker, or an art teacher should never feel for another someone. She haunted you, appearing in your dreams just when you thought you could finally go a few hours free of the girl running circles around your mind. 

And unbeknownst to you, Karina felt the exact same way, possibly in a more obsessive, delusional, love-sick way. 

So Jimin found herself ogling down at her feet as they swiftly moved across the pavement of the sidewalk, her cap atop her head, while her hood rested above it as well, and her mask pulled to the tip of her nose. The light patter of the rain played over in her muffled ears, masking the ringing voices of chatter throughout the street. Karina thought she had hope tonight, as it was raining and not many people would be out in the city, but that was evidently proved to be inaccurate, the constant shoving against her covered arm serving as more evidence. 

As she finally reaches the end of the street, glancing up to see the familiar building she has come to love only a few blocks down, she smiles and rushes over, only to see you walking out of the very door she was running to. 

Her stomach twisted into a bundle of nerves. She isn’t prepared, but it needs to be done, or she’ll go mad. 

“Y/n!” She yells, her hood falling with the intensity of her speed, her poster tucked under her hoodie, sheltering it from the rain that began to pour heavier. 

You turn at the sound of the neighborly voice, accustomed to the sound of it, and you flash a smile before you could even glance in her direction, thinking you weren’t going to see her today. 

“Jimin!” 

“I need to talk to y-” 

That’s when a few men revealed themselves from behind an empty alleyway, their cameras shown proudly in their hands as they hastily began taking shots of the idol running desperately to you. This wasn’t a good image for her, she couldn’t be seen like this. Jimin had always been seen as such an admirable adult by her company, abiding by the rules, doing as they asked, not as a girl who would sneak out often to chase around a girl she was in love with. 

And the public? What would they say when the rumors arise about her chasing a girl in the rain with a giant poster under her hoodie? And if the company releases a statement that she was not supposed to even be out at the moment, and she was disobeying the rules? The public would ruin her. 

It was all too many thoughts at once, Jimin felt a rush of anxiety wave over her body, freezing at the sight of the paparazzi and what they could do to her, so she allowed them to assume control over her, running in the opposite direction of you into the most secluded area she could find, loosing the paparazzi in the process. 

Your smile abruptly dropped, heart coming to a standstill while you thought of what had just happened. 

Jimin was racing over to meet you after hours, dressed silently and reserved so nobody could recognize her, but the camera men knew. She was caught in the act of only talking to you, so why was it such a problem that she had to run away from you? Was she embarrassed to be friends with you? Did she not want the public to see that she was with someone who wasn’t as famous as her? 

Your anger rose, but in spite of that, what got you the best was the overwhelming sadness consuming your emotions. Who were you to think someone so popular and loved would ever want to even be seen with you? And you thought of her in a romantic aspect? Hah! You’re embarresed for yourself more than anything. 

- 

“Fucking bitch, I fucking knew it. Who am I to even...”, you trail off in your thoughts on your way back to your apartment. It was a close enough distance to walk, and for all that it was raining, and you had yet to buy an umbrella for yourself over the years, so your stuck with your drenched hair swirling down bellow your eyes, blurring your vision. 

“Fuck!” You shout, kicking an innocent rock adjacent to your foot. Everything seemed to agitate you in the moment. You couldn’t focus when all you could think about was how the girl you liked was precisely unsettled with the thought of being seen with you in the public view. 

Your phone rang in your pocket once again, and you ignored her calls like the last fourteen times, rolling your eyes when your infuriating ringtone once again pervaded your ear drums. You seriously need some sleep. 

You feel another text from her come through, so you finally had enough and raised the phone from your jeans, entering your password and looking for her contact, and that’s when you notice the numerous texts sent over the past half hour you’ve been apart. 

Y/n i’m so sorry

I didn’t expect something like that to happen

I didn’t mean to run off on you like that I promise. 

It was exactly what you had expected her to send... you scroll further. 

Y/n? 

Please answer

I know you walk home and I didn’t see you holding an umbrella

Are you home safe? 

Please respond

I’m worried

I hope you aren’t mad at me

At least let me know your safe

Y/n? 

You could get really sick

Seriously please answer

I’m going to your house 

Eyes widening, you through your phone back into your pocket and speed down the sidewalk hastily. You didn’t understand why she’d act so worried about you as if she hadn’t entirely ran off on you in response to her own shame. Who does she even think she is? You seriously don’t understand this woman. 

You rush across the street when you finally see her tall figure standing underneath the sheltered doorway. She doesn’t notice your presence yet, so you fix your appearance slightly and walk sternly down to her, grabbing her shoulder and pulling her to face you. 

“What the fuck was that?” You yell. 

Jimin spins to you promptly against her will, flinching at your blaring tone at such a late time, especially when it was her first time hearing you raise your voice to that level. 

She doesn’t know what to say, suddenly caught off guard by your confrontation. It takes her a while to finally digest the scenery. Your clothes and hair thoroughly soaked head to toe, eyes red as she notices a single near fall down to your chin, or maybe she was mistaking it for the rain, it was hard to tell. 

She was saddened by the looks of you, her heart dropping entirely as she thought of how rigorous the walk home must have been. You must be so cold and hungry, if only she could provide you with such things to make you feel better, although you’ve probably already caught a cold by now, unfortunately. 

“I-” she stutters, “what do you mean?” 

You laugh in her face, almost mocking her. 

“What do you mean what do I mean? You completely ran off on me as soon as those guys came over!” 

Jimin notices you are still in the rain, so she pulls you under the small roof before she responded. 

“You must be so sick Y/n, can we go inside first please?” She begs. 

Your eyes squint, wondering if she was only playing with your feelings, acting as if she really cared for your well being. Well, maybe she did, but would she say the same thing with another presence around? 

“Like you care Karina.” 

Jimin flinches, not only at your tone, but the fact that you called you Karina after continuously calling her by her real name even before the two of you became friends. It was like you knew how to attack her hearts in the perfect place. 

“What are you talking about”, Jimin furrows her eyebrows, reaching to hold your arm but you pull away from her. 

Your gaze drops, and that is when Karina can finally differentiate your tears from the rain as you raise your head dismally. 

“You don’t even understand, do you? I was so excited to see you Karina! I always am! I always fucking look forward to when we can see each other! I look forward to our art classes, and being with you, and seeing your smile brighten when you learn something new! It makes me so happy, seriously! But who am I to even say these types of things to someone like you?” 

Jimin is hesitant on which words to focus on, possibly the beginning of a confession, or the last sentence you had dropped like a bomb on her, causing her to furrow her eyebrows in confusion, not understanding what you were getting at. Or maybe she did, and didn’t want to even believe you would think of such a thing. 

“Why’d you run away from me?” You cry. 

Jimins tears are now racing against yours, following them down to the gravel bellow the two of you. 

“Jimin are you embarrassed to be with me? Are you ashamed to be seen with someone like myself?” 

She shakes her head repeatedly but allows you to continue, sensing you weren’t done. 

“And I was so stupid to even think we had a chance together, how stupid of me to forget that you're an idol, and you’d do anything to protect that perfect fucking image, even running away from those who are close to you.” 

Jimin cuts you off before you can go on, sick of the lies spilling from your mouth. She couldn’t handle knowing you felt so wrongly about her feelings. 

“Y/n that’s not true! I’m sorry okay!" She shouts, “it took me by surprise, I always get so much anxiety when dealing with things like that! It doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of you, or I’m embarrassed to be seen around you! I...” 

Jimin is hesitant to finally show you the poster she’d been fostering on the steps, but she thinks back to what her members had told her, and determined this to be the best, and only time she could do this. 

“I wanted to meet you because I wanted to give you this”, she extends her hand out to you, and the poster is a bit wet and unfolded, but you take it in your grip and open it slowly, careful not to rip it. 

Your eyes fall on the work of art she created, a beautifully drawn Lillie draped against a similar Carnation. You noticed Jimin implemented every piece of advice you had given her to create such a preposing masterpiece, not missing how she used your favorite flower, as well as hers. 

And then you saw what was bellow it... a letter. 

Dear Y/n, 

Everything is all so sudden to me. I haven’t known you for too long, but that doesn’t matter, because in the time we’ve spent together, I’ve come to realize that the only thing I need in my life is you. I was so, incredibly attracted to you when I first saw you in that art museum, and you wouldn’t believe the things I did to find you (i hope that doesn’t sound weird, haha). You’ve been the only thing on my mind, and when I’m dreaming, I can still imagine your beautiful smile and soft skin. I’ve never been one for romance, but after meeting you, I know my perspective has changed. And when I’m with you, I almost feel like I’m a different person. It’s like I can just be myself without the worry of disappointing my audience and those who support me. I’ve never felt this way before, and before meeting you, I would have never guessed I would be able to experience such protruding feelings. So Y/n, with all of this said, I would love it if I could take you out sometime, not as a friend, but as your girlfriend.

You hadn’t noticed your tear stains dripping onto the paper until you finally raise your gaze to the awaiting beauty before you, biting her lips like an adorable puppy. 

“Jimin I..”, you’re at a loss for words. Out of everything that could have been on that poster, you certainly did not expect that. After the recent events that had happened previously, your hope for a future with the girl suddenly fled down the drain, nonetheless here you are with a written confession laying in the palm of your hands

You don’t know what to say, you want to start with an apology, expressing how sorry you were for misinterpreting her feelings and pronouncing her the bad guy. You want to tell her how you feel the same, and that you can’t think of anyone else you’d rather be with than her, but the way her lips pouted in anticipation pained you to no extent. 

You walked closer to the girl, reaching for her slippery hand and taking it in yours. Everything is telling you to kiss the worried look right off her face, diminish any negative thoughts she may be having, and so you pull her closer by her hand, now placing your other on her cheek. 

Even in the darkness of the night, you can nonetheless perceive the instant flush in the girl’s cheeks, and that’s the last thing you can see before you close your eyes and lean forward, connecting your lips to hers. 

Karina’s wintry hand rose to the back of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer to her body. You release your grip you had with her other hand, now placing it upon her waist to steady yourself. 

Her lips glide against yours with ease, its pillow-like feel easing the dampness of the rain droplets everlasting on her lips. You feel Karina smile as you continue to kiss her, and you do the same, appreciating such a moving moment between the two of you, admiring how it could be the possible start of something beautiful. 

It’s not until a while does Karina pull away from you reluctantly. 

“You're all wet and freezing babe”, you smile at the pet name, “let’s get you upstairs and into some comfy clothes.” 

You smile and nod, agreeing to follow her into your complex, trailing behind her back with your hand in hers as she opens the door to not only the entrance of your apartment, but hopefully the beginning of an irresistible, and beautiful bloom of a relationship. 

~

The long awaited last part ☹️

im rlly sorry for the delay guys, i know that it took a while :(( but i hope you all enjoyed❤️

[lainiespicewrites]

Dreamless sleep

I mentioned in a reblog a few days ago that I sometimes write little oneshots about Henry to comfort myself when shit situations happen. Well I left work today and my car wouldn't start and... I've been struggling with remembering something really difficult that happened to me and I needed a comfort fic. This is that.... I don't normally post them but I wanted to share this one.

Warnings: Mentions of SA possible trigger.

summary: waking up from a nightmare and having a rough day. Henry is always there to help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watched the door shake.  The man on the other side determined to break in.  If he got through, he was going to hurt me again. Not that he would ever admit it. My attacker had spent just moments before trying to convince me I had asked for it. Like what he did to me was nothing more than him fulfilling my desires. Bile rose in the back of my throat from the thought. 

“Go away, Luke! I told you I won’t say anything to anyone! Just leave me alone!” But he didn’t stop. I watched the door knob turn as I looked around my childhood bedroom searching for something to barricade the door. Trying to find anything to keep him out. My strength would not hold much longer. One more shove and he would be inside. I wouldn’t be able to escape him. Just like the last time. As I’m reaching for a chair to press against the door, I stumble. I fall to the floor and the door swings open… 

I woke with a start shooting straight up gasping for breath. My heart was racing and I let out a whimper as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I flinched as I felt a gentle hand touch my hip. 

“Darling it’s me, it’s okay.” Henry’s soothing voice broke through my panic. It was a dream. Only, a dream. I swallowed hard and looked out the window. It was storming, the sky was still gray, I looked over at the clock 6:25 my alarm was about to go off, 

“Sorry, go back to sleep baby, it was just a bad dream. I’m okay.” I assured him. Henry sat up. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and placed a soft kiss on my head. 

“You’re sure? He asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” I shook my head. I hadn’t told him about what happened to me. And as far as I was concerned he didn’t need to know. It was in the past. I was fine. It was rare that I had these dreams. 

“No bear, It was silly, just go back to sleep, I need to get up and get ready,” I told him. He took in a deep breath. He still held me close for a moment before hesitantly letting go of my waist. 

“Alright, love,” When I got out of bed I turned and kissed him softly. He looked so tired. He’d gotten back so late from set. I hate that I’d woken him up. 

“I’ll see you later,” I smiled. He sat up giving me another kiss. 

“Have a good day baby,” He said. I slipped out of my bedroom and took a quick shower. I quickly got dressed for the office and left. I picked up a coffee on the way to work. I splashed some on my shirt leaving a small stain. It wasn’t completely obvious but I knew it was there. This would happen today I hate Mondays. Things were in full swing, actually, busy. When I got there. I sat down and tried to focus on my work. But I couldn’t get anything done. All I could think about was that dream. 

Lunch rolled around and I realized I’d left it at home. I didn’t want to bother Henry. He hadn’t had a day to himself in a while. So I was just going to pick something up. I ran to the little convenience store down the road and got a little snack. It was much but it would hold me over until the end of the day. 

The rest of the day was so busy. So many emails and the work just kept piling up. It was non-stop. I was so ready to get back to my place and spend the evening with Henry. I walked out to my car and put the key in the ignition and… it didn’t start. I tried it again… nothing. How could this happen? It ran perfectly fine on lunch. God, I was just tired and hungry and I want to get home! I’ve spent the whole day reminded of this terrible thing I’d gone through, and now this? Today sucked! I sighed and pulled out my phone. I was going to have to call Henry. I tapped his name and the phone rang. After the second ring, he picked up. 

“Hey, babe, you on you’re way back?” He asked. I sighed again. 

“No,” I said flatly. “My car won’t start I don’t know what’s wrong, the engine won’t even try to turn over.” I rambled. I could hear myself starting to hyperventilate. 

“Slow down, breathe. I’ll be right there.” He promised. In 10 minutes he was pulling up next to my car. We tried to jump it but that did nothing. I sighed and slammed the door. “Whoa, hey, it’s gonna be alright we’ll get it fixed, love,” Henry said grabbing my shoulders gently and making me face him. I felt my lip start to wobble. I didn’t want him to see me cry. In all honesty, we hadn’t been together that long. He hadn’t seen me break down and I wasn’t ready for him to. What if I was too much? What if he didn’t want me anymore?

“I-i’m sorry, today has just been… stressful. I was looking forward to getting home and spending time with you.” I said. 

“And you’re going to, we’ll leave the car here I’ll have it looked at in the morning. Let's get back and relax my love.” Henry drove us home. I shuffled inside, quickly changing into comfy clothes. After spending a while trying to fix the car it had gotten a bit late so we decided to order in. Henry ordered dinner while I got cozy on the couch. We ate our Chinese takeout and binged a new Netflix series. My mind wandered not fully paying attention. Getting lost in the dream from this morning. I was staring blankly at a spot on the wall, I didn’t hear Henry say my name. He shook my shoulder and I yelped. His brow raised and his eyes filled with concern, and something that almost looked like hurt. 

“What’s going on with you today love?” He asked. I snapped. 

“What do you mean? Nothings going on everythings fine!” I said. He sat back looking at me from a sideways glance. 

“You’ve been on edge all day,” He stated. 

“You haven’t even been with me all day,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Is something bothering you?” He asked. I groaned. 

“Fucking hell, would you just drop it Henry? I told you, I’m fine!” I shouted. Henry ran a hand through his hair and groaned in frustration. 

“I’m just trying to help,” He sighed. 

“Yeah, well I didn’t ask, I’m not some helpless damsel you need to save!” I argued. 

“I never said that!” he groaned. “But you’ve been stressed since you woke up this Morning.” He stated. 

“So?” I deflected, clearly agitated.  

So… who’s Luke?” He asked his voice calm. My stomach dropped. How did he know that name?

“I don’t know what your talking about…” I said shifting my eyes to the floor. 

“Alayna, when you were having your nightmare, you… said his name, asking him to stop. Who is he?” He asked again. I swallowed hard. I kept my eyes on the floor hidingn the tears that had started to well up. 

“No one, must’ve just been a name my brain came up with.” I lied. 

“Come on,” he pleaded. “I know you don’t think I’m that stupid.” He said. I looked up at him, eyes meeting his. He was hurt. Hurt that I was shutting him out. 

“I don’t think you’re stupid at all, I just… don’t want you to think I … to think less of me.” I sniffled. Henry brushed my hair out of my face and brushed his thumb across my cheek. 

“Talk to me, I want to understand.” He said. “Whatever is, I just want to help you,” he stated. I nodded. 

“He… is…was a friend of my brothers.” I started. “They were friends since they were kids, I new him since I was a baby.” I explained. Henry nodded. Keeping his hand on my back silently supporting me. I went on. “I thought I could trust him. I was so naive. He always seemed like a good guy. He came to town to celebrate my brothers birthday. And they came back drunk. He woke me up. Because he wanted to say hi. I got up to talk with them and when we went back to bed he… got into my bed. I thought he was joking at first. I thought he was gonna leave.” I looked at Henry. His face was calm, but I knew that he knew what I was going to say. I didn’t miss the anger in his eyes. But he stayed quiet. Letting me get it all out. “He was like a brother to me. I-I don’t know how he could touch me like that. But… I couldn’t do anything. It was wrong, it was so wrong but I was like frozen with fear or shock I don’t know. I know that I told him no. Once. something he wanted to do … I finally was able to find my voice but. It didn’t matter. The next morning he acted like nothing happened. I never said anything. I never pressed charges…nothing. It was years ago. In my dream I confronted him. He told me I couldn’t prove it. He wouldn’t own up to it. I yelled at him. And he tried to convince me I wanted it.. And he…he tried to come after me again.” I cried. Henry quickly wrapped me up in his arms pulling me into him. “That’s when I woke up.” I said.  I cried against Henry’s shoulder while he held me. He gently cooed in my ear as if consoling a baby. But it helped. It was the comfort I needed. The shoulder to cry on I never really had. He was quiet for a while. Letting me have this moment and then. 

“You know, none of that, is your fault.” He said. His voice soft. 

“But I.. let him.” I said. His jaw ticked. Trying to remain calm for me. 

“No, he may not have been violent or mean or angry. But he still forced you. He was bigger than you. You had no choice. But to let him do what he wanted. I can’t imagine the pain you’ve felt carrying this for so long. But I won’t let you do it alone anymore.” He said. 

“You don’t have to,” I sniffed. 

“The bastard is lucky he’s still breathing. He may not live anywhere near you but if he ever comes within a mile of you he’s a dead man.” He growled. 

“I’m sorry, about…” I started staring at the ground. 

“Look at me,” He cupped my face pulling my eyes back to his. “ I don’t care about some little argument. Or a stressful evening. I care about your wellbeing, your safety, and your peace of mind. There may not be much we can do about what happened. But I can help you feel safer, I can help you feel protected. That’s what matters. Let me care for you. Don’t be too proud to let me help you.” he pleaded.  I nodded. I was exhausted. Today had been so hard. I didn’t have the energy to be guarded anymore. 

“Okay,” I said. 

“You need rest love, you look exhausted.” He said softly. I nodded laying my head against his shoulder. Henry carried me to bed and I immediately curled myself around him. He smiled softly. 

“As long as I breathe. He will never, get to you,” He said softly. I nodded my breathing slowly as I listened to his heart beat. Henry softly stroked my hair and I felt my eyes lids get heavy. 

“Get some sleep darling, I’ll be right here,” he promised. My eyes closed and everything faded to black. And for the first time in a long time. I had a dreamless sleep. I was safe. Now. Truly safe. I didn’t have to fight this alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't feel like this is my best work but it is honest... I'm gonna add my taglist here but you so don't have to read it! if you do thank you! It's just away of me getting all my emotions out. Y'all are like my online emotional support group <3

@foxyjwls007

@enchantedbytomandhenry

@summersong69

@carrie80reads 

@identity2212 

@caramariehurst 

@redheadrouge 

@warriormirkwood  

@gummydummy19 

@deandoesthingstome

 @shellyshellshell

@mary-ann84 

@starfirewildheart 

@henryownsme

@mollymal

@wa-ni

@toooldforobsessions

@pono-pura-vida

@Chloeforde

@liecastillo

@mrsevans90

@evie-119

@margauxmargaux07

@thearcana-moonlight

@secretdream2

@wtfdudesblog

@juliaorpll78

@nothingbettertosay81

[mollysolo]

I’m Here, Right Here

Pairing: Steve Harrington X gn!Reader

Summary: Steve comforts you after a rough day.

Warnings: Mentions of the reader crying, being upset + tired + overworked, one curse word

Word Count: 1.3k

a/n: i hope y’all like this ! also, feel free to send any requests you have for steve (or anyone i else i write for) to my inbox !

the gif below does not belong to me

The very second you got home that evening, you went straight into the bedroom in you and Steve’s apartment and laid down. And once your head hit your pillow, you finally felt safe enough to let the tears that you had been holding back for the past thirty minutes fall.

In this moment, you were kind of glad that Steve wasn’t here to see you cry. And while you knew that it wasn’t a bad thing to cry, it was still something you’d rather do alone.

This week had been the absolute worst. Mostly because your boss had put even more work onto your already heavy workload. According to him, a bunch of people had recently quit and until replacements were hired, you would have to do their work.

You were only five days into this new workload and you were already extremely exhausted. And today was the breaking point, your boss had told you that you would have to present at a convention next week, alone.

You hadn’t told Steve about this new workload at all because you knew how much he worried about you and this was something you wanted to deal with on your own. Besides, you had kind of hoped that if you did all this work, that maybe you’d be promoted.

But you knew Steve would find out eventually, he was supposed to be home from work in just twenty minutes after all.

And the longer you cried, the more you wanted Steve to come home. You wanted him to comfort you, take care of you, make you feel like everything was going to be alright. Like he always did when you were feeling shitty.

————————————

Just thirty minutes or so after you had initially started crying, you heard Steve open the front door. You tried to silence or at least muffle your cries by placing one of your hands over your mouth and nose, but it was no use. So you let your hand drop down to the bed, a deep frown appearing on your face as Steve started to walk further into your apartment.

He was about to call out for you when he heard the sound of your cries coming from the bedroom, prompting him to quickly set his things down and go to you. He felt panicked as he made his way to where you were. He wondered what happened and who or what caused your tears.

The second he entered the bedroom and his eyes met your sad face, his heart broke. He hated seeing you this way, it tore him up inside. But you never needed to know that.

“Oh, baby.” he quietly said as he walked over to your side of the bed and his knees crashed into the plush carpet below him.

He began to softly hold your face in one his hands while he leaned over and kissed some of your tears away, making a subtle smile appear on your face. You already felt a little better now that Steve was home.

“What’s wrong?” he asked you while he stroked your wet cheek with his thumb, pure worry in his eyes and in his voice.

You slowly sat up and he let his hand fall from your face, opting to hold one of your hands instead. You knew you had to tell Steve what was happening, you couldn’t keep pretending like everything was okay.

You took a deep breath then started to speak, “I didn’t want you to worry, so I’ve been keeping this to myself. But there’s something I need to tell you.” you said, your eyes hesitantly looking over to meet his.

“What is it, (y/n)?” he asked while he slowly stood up, now feeling the urgent need to hold you.

You took the time Steve was using to pick you up so that he could hold you in your bed to muster up the courage to tell him everything.

“Some of my co-workers recently quit and my boss is making me take on their work loads until he hires replacements. This has been going on for five days now and I’m just so tired, Steve.” you told him, pressing your forehead into his shoulder towards the end of your explanation.

While Steve listened to what you had to say, he held you tighter in his arms, wanting you to feel safe, comforted and comfortable.

“Do you want me to talk to your boss? He shouldn’t be doing this to you. It’s not fair.” Steve sternly said, his eyebrows a little furrowed.

“No, you don’t need to talk to talk to him, Stevie. And I know it’s unfair but there’s some part of me that hopes that he’ll promote me for doing all of this extra work.” you replied as you removed your head from his shoulder, making him aware of more of your feelings.

Steve nodded, he understood what you meant. He understood what it was like to pretend you’re fine with overworking yourself in hopes of your boss appreciating you more. And like you had done for him, he was going to help you get through this.

He gently cupped your face in his hands then kissed the rest of your tears away, not stopping until he reached your lips. He then looked directly into your eyes, an idea on his mind.

“What if we use the next 5 days as a staycation?” he suggested while he raised one of his eyebrows.

Your face contorted with worry right away, “But what if my boss fires me? I don’t want to loose my job and I don’t want you to loose yours either.” you answered, your eyebrows now furrowing, making you look sadder.

He softly shushed you as he brought you closer to him and laid down, your head now resting on his warm chest, “Don’t worry about it, honey. I’ll take care of everything. You need to rest, let me take care of you.” he said while he began to gently trace circles into your back.

You let out a shaky deep breath at the sound of that, you knew Steve was right, “Okay.” you softly replied, not having any energy left to fight him on this.

By this point your tears had stopped and you now felt a lot better, like Steve had lifted a weight off of your shoulders. You could finally let yourself relax for the first time this entire week.

You both were extremely glad that you were able to be there for each other whenever you needed one another.

“I’ll be here for you every step of the way, alright?” he whispered against your temple before pressing a kiss there, making you smile.

“I know, Stevie. Thank you.” you said, thinking of the time you had made that promise to Steve when he was overworking himself almost nine months ago.

And while the two of you continued to cuddle, Steve thought of a plan for the rest of the evening, “I have another plan.” he told you, causing you to perk up.

“Oh, you do?” you jokingly teased, one of your eyebrows raised like his had been not too long ago.

He laughed at your actions, happy to see your personality peaking out again, “Yes, actually.” he said, speaking with a sarcastic tone and a bright smile on his face, “I was thinking we could maybe take a nap together then order some takeout for dinner. How does that sound?” he suggested to you, his smile a bit fainter now but still there.

“That sounds perfect.” you say in response, happily snuggling back into Steve while you spoke.

He let out a quiet chuckle through his nose and held you tightly in his arms once more, “I’m here, right here for you and I always will be, I promise.” he quietly said, making your cheeks heat up at the feeling of his lips moving against your skin.

“And I’ll always be here for you, Stevie.” you told him in response as he smiled once again, not wanting him to feel like this support was one sided.

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[eddiemunsons80sbaby]

Never Say Never

Chapter 15

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 8.5K

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Far later than she’d expected, you pulled into the driveway of your home. Dinner and coffee had turned into a stroll down the street to the local bar, The Stumble Inn, where the owner, Dan, loved a good play on words. A couple drinks, a lot of conversation, and quite a bit of laughter later, you'd all finally said your good nights, all of you heading off to your own vehicles for home. 

The boys were probably already asleep considering it was pushing eleven. That was alright. The four of you were planning on a bike ride tomorrow afternoon so if Steve wanted, he could always just leave Jeremiah there. No point in waking the kid to drag him home simply to bring him back again. 

Opening the front door, you stepped inside to find Steve on the couch, a rerun of Who’s the Boss playing on the tv. He turned to look over at you, his arms propped behind his head, giving you one of those glaringly bright smiles that made you feel like you needed to shield yourself, to bring a hand to your eyes to protect them. 

“Hey.”

Dropping your purse on the table by the door, you made your way into the living room, smiling down at him. “Hey. Sorry I’m so late. We completely lost track of time.”

“That’s alright. I was expecting it. I told you that you were going to be later than you thought. Robin and Nancy love to talk. And with you being all shiny and new, they had endless things to ask you, I’m sure.”

Steve pushed himself up to sitting with his legs still out in front of him, opening his arms to you. You happily accepted his invite, your body liquefying into him when his arms came around you, pulling you into the warmth of his chest. Sighing contentedly, you wound your arms around his waist curling your legs underneath you, relieved that the awkwardness of earlier appeared to be forgotten.

“They should get jobs as interrogators. They definitely threw the book at me. I don’t know if there’s anything they don’t know about me at this point,” you joked, “including the unfortunately mortifying third grade talent show story.”

“Ohh, do tell. I’m intrigued now.”

“No. That one is better left unshared. Trust me. I don’t know why I even told them. I think your friends have some kind of superpower. I was running off at the mouth, story after story. I couldn’t seem to make myself stop. To be fair, they were shooting questions at me so fast I barely had time to stop and think. I’m stuck being friends with them forever now, you know. They have far too much dirt on me. Way too much they could blackmail me for. I fear I’ve made a grave mistake.”

Steve’s laugh rumbled beneath you, his fingers slipping into your hair, thumb pressing into your skin as it slid over the back of your neck. Your eyes slipped closed, your body practically humming under his touch. His other hand moved under your chin, lifting your face to his and a soft moan escaped you when his lips found yours, gently, tenderly. 

You would never tire of his mouth, his touch, the way it set you aflame every single time. You wanted him in a way that was borderline dangerous. The way you wanted him was all consuming, like a fire raging through a forest, turning everything to ash in its wake. If it weren’t for the boys, you were certain you would lose your job because you would do nothing but spend hours in bed with this man. 

But there were the boys to consider. It was hard to concentrate on that fact when Steve’s tongue was exploring your throat, his hand slipping under your shirt. Fingertips made rough from working with his hands teased your skin, his palms covering your breasts completely, kneading and squeezing until you were grinding helplessly against his thigh, gasping. But that little voice in the back of your head reminded you, brought you back to reality, the reality where you did not want either of your sons to walk in on this very blatant display in the middle of the living room. 

“Steve…” you rasped, struggling through the haze of desire when his lips latched onto your throat, open mouthed kisses creating a path of destruction, obliterating everything that wasn’t him. 

“Hmm?” he mumbled against your skin, rolling your nipples with his thumb and forefinger, the jolt of pleasure shooting straight to your core. 

“We can’t.” It was a whimper, a whine because you didn’t want this to stop. You didn’t want to be the responsible mom right now. You wanted to take this man straight up to your bed, caution be damned. But you couldn’t. You knew you couldn’t. You couldn’t have him staying over, couldn’t have Eli knowing the two of you had shared a bed, not until you were certain this was something that was going to last. You couldn’t put your son through that kind of heartbreak, not after everything he’d already lost.

“Why not?” Now his hands were creeping up your skirt, each one gripping an ample amount of your ass, pressing your center right against the delicious friction of his firm thigh. 

“The boys…we can’t…the boys…”

Fuck. It was so hard to form a thought, to fight through the pleasure coursing through your very veins. His mouth teasing your earlobe, the delicious pulsing in your pussy with every press of his leg against you. You felt like a teenager. What the hell was happening to you? Were you seriously about to come just from dry humping a guy’s leg?

“But we can,” he growled, hands gripping your hips, flipping you over so your back was pressed against his chest. “Did I forget to mention they’re not here?”

“Wha…huh?” His hands slid along the insides of your thighs, pressing them open as they went. “Where are they?”

“Well, Jonathan showed up a few hours ago,” he explained, fingers slipping along the edge of your panties. “He said that Nancy had instructed him to come and get them. Repayment for me being so kind to watch them so you could go out with the girls.” One finger slid under the material, slipping through your already damp folds to toy with your clit. “They’re keeping them for the whole night so we can have some time alone. Isn’t that nice?”

“I…oh…uh-huh…”

Your head rolled back against his shoulder, that rubber band that was already stretched so thin within you stretching even more, threatening to snap at any moment as he circled, pinched, and slid over the very center of your pleasure. A rumble fell from Steve’s lips, his nose slipping over your jaw and down your neck. You were not going to last long. Not like this, not when you were already on the brink of destruction. 

“Come on beautiful,” he urged, his thumb taking over the work on your clit as he slipped one large finger inside of you. “Say my name for me. You know how much I love it when you say my name for me.”

“Steve…” The word came out choked, one simple syllable that threatened to strangle you as your muscles tensed under his touch, your body ready to shatter completely. 

“That’s my girl…wanna hear you screaming it, baby. No need to be quiet tonight.”

Oh shit. Those words…his girl, words you didn’t even know you wanted but you did. You wanted to make him say it again. You wanted to be his girl more than you'd ever wanted anything else at this moment. Everything in your world completely disappeared, shadowed by this man and the way he made you feel. 

He got what he wanted. Because as he slid a second finger inside of you, his thumb playing you like the most beautiful song ever written, his name fell from your lips over and over. A crescendo of sound that began as a gasp and rose to a scream when that band finally snapped, your body taut, shaking, before collapsing back into him in a puddle of satisfaction. 

“Jesus Christ, Steve…” you mumbled. “How are you so goddamn good…no, scratch that. I don’t want to know.”

He chuckled, arms wrapping around you, face nuzzling your hair, “Don’t worry, gorgeous, because nobody that came before you matters. They were all just practice leading up to the main attraction.” He nipped at your earlobe. “I’ve never wanted to make a girl come over and over again like I do you. The sounds you make, how beautiful you look, the way you say my name, it’s like a goddamn drug, honey. I’m completely hooked on you.”

Turning your body, you straddled him, feeling just how much he was hooked on you pressing into you. The thin fabric of his sweats and the lace of your panties was not creating much of a barrier and you fought back the urge to yank them off him and ride him right here on the couch. But not yet. There was something else you'd been wanting to do first, something that had been on your mind ever since your first encounter in her kitchen. 

“Well, if I’m a drug then so are you, Steve Harrington, because I am completely addicted to you.”

“Oh yeah?” His hands settled on your hips, a smirk on his lips. “Is this the part where you fulfill my fantasy? You’re already in the perfect position.” He bucked his hips up and you gasped, hands dropping to his chest. 

“Oh, I have every intention of fulfilling that fantasy but not just yet." Leaning forward, you caught his mouth with your own, your tongue gliding over his bottom lip teasingly. Your hands slid under the cotton fabric of his shirt, nails scratching gently down his chest, over his stomach. That little knot wound up within you again at the feel of that coarse hair against your fingers, tapering to a line leading you right where she wanted. Gripping the hem of his shirt, you tugged it over his head, tossing it across the room where it landed on a chair. 

Steve’s lower lip jutted out playfully, “This doesn’t seem fair. You still have a top on.” Acquiescing to his request, you pulled your top off, sending it the same way as his. His hands slid up your back, fingers popping open your bra expertly, slingshotting it. “Much better.” One hand gripping you between the shoulder blades, he sat up, his mouth descending on your breasts. 

“Yes…” you sighed, cradling his head against you, your hips rocking against his length once again. 

“You’re so damn beautiful…”

You smiled, pushing him back down on the couch, wiggling your body down. It was your turn to drive him crazy. Your lips moved over his jaw, down his neck, your tongue tracing a trail over the artery there before your teeth nipped at his shoulder. He grunted, hips bucking when you kept going on your journey south, mouth exploring his chest, teeth raking over his nipples. Hot, wet kisses over his stomach while your hands gathered the material of his sweats and boxers, dragging them over his thighs until his cock was free, bouncing back against his stomach. 

Your tongue ran over your lips as you settled onto your stomach between his legs. Steve’s eyes went wide, watching when you took his cock in your hand, dragging the tip of it across your lips. As your tongue darted across the already weeping slit, he hissed, head dropping back to the arm of the sofa. 

“Jesus Christ, honey.”

Bolstered by his reaction, you used your hand to raise him up, your tongue running along the vein underneath, from the base to the tip before taking him into your mouth, swirling your tongue teasingly. With a heavy grunt, his hips rose from the couch in an attempt to get more of himself in your mouth. 

Grinning around him, you continued your slow torture, only keeping the tip of him in the warmth of your mouth as one hand moved down to cradle his heavy sack, rolling his balls in your palm. 

“Fuck…oh my god…honey, please…need more…” 

His hands fisted at his sides and deciding you'd tormented him enough, you took the rest of him, as much as you could, working the base of him with your hand as you slowly worked the rest of him with your mouth. The sounds he was making, the animalist grunts and groans, the curses falling from his lips, were goddamn intoxicating. You'd never felt so powerful in your life as you did knowing you could reduce this beautiful man to a mewling mess with just your mouth and hands. 

Steve’s fingers slid in your hair, his palms cupping the back of your head as he lifted his hips to match the rhythm of your mouth. You relaxed your throat, gagging slightly as he thrust even further into your throat. He paused, as if uncertain if what he’d done was okay, but when you dug your nails into the flesh of his thigh, lowering your mouth over him again, he took the hint, thrusting once again until your nose was nuzzling the coarse hair at the base of him. 

“Shit…honey, I’m…fuck, I’m so close…fuck, stop…I…don’t wanna…not in your mouth…”

Releasing him with an audible pop, you rose to your feet, offering him your hand. He tilted his head in confusion, the look so adorable your heart tugged. How could one man be both the sexiest thing you'd ever seen and the most adorable thing you'd ever laid eyes on at the same time?

“If I’m going to ride you, let’s do it properly…in my bed.”

“Oh…yeah, okay…”

He scrambled, pulling his pants back up as he took your hand, following your lead up the stairs. You'd barely made it into the room when you slammed your hands into his chest firmly, sending him onto his back on the bed. Wasting no time, you slipped your underwear and skirt off before dragging his sweats and boxers down off his legs and onto your floor. 

The smile he gave you was so soft, so heart melting, his hands gently cupping your face when you crawled up his body, straddling his hips. He opened his mouth and your heart stuttered in your chest, terrified but also thrilled at what might come out. But just that fast he closed it again, pressing his eyes shut tight. 

Brushing away that hope that had flared and dwindled so quickly, you gripped him in your hand, slowly lowering herself down over him. Your warmth wrapped around him like a glove, welcoming him as if he belonged there. You sucked in air, your fingers slipping through the hair on his chest, your teeth biting down on your lower lip. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Steve growled as you rocked against him, his fingertips digging into the flesh of your hips as he met each movement. 

“Steve…Steve…Jesus Christ, Steve…” 

“You look just as beautiful as I knew you would. Come on, honey. Take what you need. You can have whatever you want. Give you whatever you want, honey.”

“Touch me,” you gasped, whimpering when his thumb found your clit, teasing as you pressed your hands into the mattress, arching your back, your muscles clenching as you came down on his cock again and again. “Yes. Right there. Oh god…so good…”

Your hips rolled into a circle and he grunted, “Yes, baby. Keep doing that. Shit.” His other hand came to your breast, squeezing, pinching, teasing, touching you just like you wanted and you moaned his name again. “Gonna come for me, beautiful?”

“Yes…so close…don’t stop…”

“Oh, I won’t, honey. Don’t worry. Look at me, beautiful. Wanna see you.” 

You struggled, working to keep pace as you pulled yourself straight, your hands gripping his shoulders for purchase. Opening your eyes, you looked down, that band in you stretching farther than should be possible as the heat in his gaze consumed you. His name ripped from your throat, so loudly you were sure the people in the next town could hear. 

Your body turned to goo, wax from a hot candle sliding down the edges of you to pool on the mattress around you. You had nothing left, your legs shaking and Steve knew, taking over for you. His hands grabbed onto your hips as he plunged himself up and into you before holding her down against him, a roar emitted through gritted teeth, painting your insides with his own release before bringing you with him as you both collapsed. 

Your cheek pressed against his sweat-slicked chest, the hair there tickling your skin softly. His fingers trailed over your back, your bodies heaving as you both struggled to catch your breath. 

“Holy shit…” he muttered. “So much better than I imagined.”

“Yeah…I…Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t think I can walk.”

His rumbling laugh shook your bodies as his arms held you, rolling you so you were side by side, your body still cradled against his. His lips pressed against your forehead. 

“Good thing you don’t have to. Honey, you’re so damn amazing. I…this…” He paused, his throat moving with a hard swallow, as if he were forcing down words he didn’t want to say to leave his mouth, banishing them to the darkness where they couldn’t see the light of day. 

“Yeah?” you pressed hopefully, tilting your head back to look at him, wishing for him to say it. To say the words that had been torturing you for the last few hours, the words you were terrified to say until he did. 

“I’m just so damn happy. I have never been this happy with anyone. I…” He stopped, eyes squeezing shut. “I like you a lot.”

Your heart squeezed tightly. No, of course he wasn’t going to say those words. Hadn’t you just thought how crazy it would be to say them so soon? Of course he wasn’t feeling any of that already. 

“I like you a lot too.” You forced a smile, not wanting him to see the disappointment on your face as you nuzzled down into him, the top of your head tucked under his chin. 

___________________________________________________________

Steve blinked against the harsh sunlight coming in through the window, one hand covering his eyes to ward off the glare. Last night came back to him in a burst of images that raced over the backs of his eyelids. The warmth of your mouth, the sight of you above him, your hair falling down your back, the gentle smile that curved your lips up on each side as you fell asleep nestled against his chest, your fingers toying with the coarse hair there as you hummed contentedly. 

Rolling his head, he looked down to find you still there but at some point in the night you'd both moved. Now your back was nestled against him, your ass pressed deliciously against him, explaining why he’d woken up with an erection. Winding his arms around you tightly, his lips explored the curve of your shoulder, the hollow of your throat, delighted when you moaned softly, wiggling in his grasp. 

“Good morning.” Your voice was husky, deep and raspy, choked with sleep first thing in the morning, just one more thing that Steve couldn’t help but enjoy about you. He would never tire of discovering new things about you. Each new thing only made him…

Love…that word was beginning to be a thorn in his side. The amount of times he’d had to bite his lip last night to keep from saying it was going to leave a bruise. The more time he spent with you, the more time he spent inside you, was making it harder and harder not to scream it out, consequences be damned. 

“Good morning.” His nose nuzzled into your neck, lips tracing a line, following it over your shoulder. “I swear, this is the best damn thing to wake up to. You are the best damn thing to wake up to. So much better than a slobbery dog demanding breakfast.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” His fingers skimmed over your soft belly to the curve of your hip, squeezing the ample flesh there. “I could really get used to this, honey. You in my bed…”

“Well, technically this is my bed,” you teased, sighing when his hand dipped into the apex between your thighs. 

“My bed, your bed…I really don’t care as long as I get to have you in a bed,” he growled, his lips wrapping around the skin at the hollow of your throat, sucking hard until you moaned deeply. “Jesus, I love the sounds you make. Wanna make you make them all the time.”

“Steve,” you protested, no real challenge in your voice. “Don’t we have to go get the boys?”

“We could push it just a bit.” Using his arm to push himself up, he pressed you onto your back into the mattress. Wiggling his eyebrows, he grinned. “I think Nance and Jonathan would understand if we waited just a couple more hours.”

“A couple hours, huh? You have big plans?”

“Oh honey, a couple hours is not nearly enough time for the plans I have for you.”

How about forever? It was on the tip of his tongue but he just couldn’t say it. He couldn’t risk it, not now, not when he was in so deep that he was drowning in you. 

___________________________________________________________

An hour later, clad in only his boxer shorts, Steve was in the kitchen cooking eggs and toast while you took a shower. Unfortunately, human weakness reared its head and other biological needs needed to be met. They had made it known when your stomach had started loudly rumbling while he was buried deep inside you while he pinned your wrists down with his hands. 

As much as he hadn’t wanted to pull himself away, he’d begrudgingly done so. The girl needed to eat. While he wanted nothing more than to lock the two of you in that room for the rest of the day, you were going to need your energy for the bike ride he had planned for everybody this afternoon. He couldn’t have you passing out on your bike from low blood sugar.

He slid the spatula under the perfectly cooked over-easy eggs, sliding them onto a plate. Grabbing the two pieces of toast that had just popped up, he added them and set the plate on the table. He added the butter, salt, and pepper and was just going to pour your coffee when there was a knock at the front door. 

“Well shit,” muttered Steve, glancing down at his very bare chest. Grabbing his shirt from the chair in the living room where it had been tossed last night, he hastily pulled it over his head, figuring it would have to do if he wasn’t going to leave whoever was on the other side wondering if anyone was home. 

Opening the door, he found a woman on the other side. Her blue eyes went wide as she took in the sight of him in the doorway, her hand running over her sleek gray bob. The flowy black pants and floral buttoned top she was wearing seemed like a strange choice for a Saturday, leaving him with the impression that she was a professional of some kind. But you hadn’t mentioned anyone dropping by. 

“Hello,” he smiled pleasantly. “Can I help you?”

“I highly doubt it.” Her words were sharper than seemed necessary considering Steve had never seen this woman before in his life. “Is my daughter-in-law around?”

Shit. So that’s who this was. Justin’s mom and Steve had just answered the door wearing nothing but boxers and a t-shirt on a Saturday morning. That didn’t leave much doubt to what kind of situation this was and he wasn’t sure if this woman even knew about him. Had you told her about him? Or was she being blindsided, having the new guy that had replaced her dead son shoved in her face? 

“You must be Mrs. Randall. I…uh…I’m Steve Harrington. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

He stammered the words. He would have offered her his hand but his palms were suddenly very sweaty. How did one handle a situation like this? 

“Oh, I know exactly who you are. Although why you’re standing in my son’s house in your underwear is quite a mystery to me.”

A nervous laugh rose up in him at her words, her eyes narrowing, head tilted as she studied him. He felt like a specimen under a microscope and judging from the way she was looking at him, he was not measuring up. 

“Well, you see…I…well, Y/N and I…I’m guessing she hasn’t told you about me.”

“No. She didn’t but my grandson did. Imagine my surprise when I had to hear from a child that his mother has a new boyfriend.” She gave him a tight smile, the kind people usually displayed when they were trying to hide how they really felt, but this woman did not seem to be trying to hide anything. Disdain was rolling off her in waves so strongly it threatened to knock him off his feet. “You really think it’s appropriate for you to be spending the night this soon? Have you even bothered to consider Eli’s feelings in the matter? How it might make him feel that some man is sleeping in the bed that his mother and father used to share? That doesn’t seem a bit tacky to you?”

Steve opened his mouth, having no idea how he was going to respond but feeling like he needed to. The pressure of a thousand stares, like being on stage waiting to see if you’d nail it or fall flat on your face, was heavy on his chest. But he was saved when you came bouncing down the stairs. 

“Something smells good. Did you cook break…” You came to an abrupt stop, hands gripping the towel you'd been drying your hair with when you saw the scene in front of you. Steve in his boxers, looking like a mouse staring down a cat. Judith, the cat, glaring at you both, with her hands on her hips, claws and teeth ready to slash and shred. “Judith…what are you doing here?”

“Well, after Eli dropped that particular very unpleasant and shocking bomb on me yesterday and you refused to talk to me, I decided we needed to have a conversation about this current situation.”

“You could have just called…” you began but Judith quickly cut you off.

“And what? Have you ignore my calls like you so often do? I don’t think so.” Judith stepped around Steve with a wave as if he were nothing but an annoying gnat she was wishing to swat. “No. I think not. I demand an explanation. I believe I am owed that. Precisely why did my grandson tell me that this man, who I don’t even know, who he barely even knows, is going to be his father soon?”

“Shit…” muttered Steve, earning a harsh glare from the woman that reminded him way too much of Mrs. Click from high school. He melted back against the wall, trying to make himself small and invisible to her unapproving gaze.

So this was why she came. She felt her son’s very memory was threatened by the presence of Steve. She thought that you and him were moving too fast. Of course she did if Eli was already talking about Steve being his dad. But it was just that, talk. The kid had been hoping for it before they’d even started dating. 

“Mrs. Randall, I think this has just been a really big misunderstanding.”

“Well, I was rather hoping so until I showed up to find you here in your underwear, clearly having spent the night. I mean, really.” She sighed, tossing her arms in the air. “You find this kind of behavior appropriate with a child in the house?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Eli isn’t in the house,” you snapped. 

“And where exactly is he?”

“He’s with my ex-wife and her husband,” Steve answered, folding his arms, his confidence returning now that he saw you weren't going to quaver under the glare of this lady. 

“Strangers!” shrieked Judith. “You left my grandson with complete strangers?”

“They’re not strangers. I told you, Eli is best friends with Steve’s son, Jeremiah. I know Jeremiah’s mom and her husband. In fact, I was just out with her and some other women last night.”

“Oh! And where was my grandson while you were out living it up and having fun like some teenager with no responsibilities?”

“He was with me. I took care of the boys so she could actually enjoy a night off.” Steve’s sympathy for this woman was quickly waning each time she opened her mouth. “I made them dinner and we played some games and watched a movie. Then Jonathan showed up and offered to take the boys overnight so she and I could have some time alone. I have never slept over when he’s been here.”

“Really? Because according to Eli, you and his mother had a sleepover just last week.”

Your teeth clenched together. “The boys were having a sleepover. We were watching a movie and fell asleep on the couch. Nothing happened.” Your eyes caught Steve’s, the two of you clearly remembering what did happen, what almost happened before you were interrupted, but it was none of this woman’s business. “And whatever happened or didn’t happen isn’t really any of your concern. Eli is my son.”

“He’s my grandson! None of my concern? It’s none of my concern that you’re acting like some rampant whore around him? That you’re just choosing to leave him with strange people so you can run around with your friends and have a good time like you don’t even have a child?”

“Whoa! Hey!” Steve stepped into her, finger pointing at her face. “You have no right to come in here calling her names like that. She is a damn good mom. She’s done all of this herself for a long time and if occasionally she needs a night to herself, she’s more than earned it.”

If someone could actually explode, he was pretty certain this woman would be doing just that right now. Her nostrils flared, eyes blazing, mouth contorted into an ugly sneer as she stared him down. 

“Just who in the hell do you think you are?”

“I think I’m her boyfriend. I think I’m her person. The person she’s chosen to have in her life right now. And I think I’m the person who’s not going to stand here and let you talk to her like this. I understand that it has to be hard for you to see her with someone else, to think about another guy being in your grandson’s life. But that’s not a choice you get to make. It’s hers. So unless you’re willing to have a civil conversation and listen then there’s the goddamn door.”

“I tried to help you. I offered to let you and Eli move in with me and you refused and now look at this mess you’ve created.”

“This isn’t a mess. This is my life.”

“And some life it is. I knew when Justin brought you home that he was making a mistake. You whispered all those lies about how much you loved him. I knew you never did.”

Your mouth dropped, a small gasp of pain escaping your lips, making Steve want to smack a woman for the first time in his life. Tears filled your eyes but you straightened your spine, refusing to allow Judith to make you fall apart.

“That was never a lie, Judith. I did love Justin. I still do.” 

“You loved him so much that you’re so ready to just replace him and move on. To allow some other man in his house, in his bed, in his role as Eli’s father.”

“There has not been any talk of Steve being Eli’s father,” you argued. “We are dating. There’s not even been talk of moving in together. All of that is coming from Eli. He adores Steve and he’s a kid and he just wants what other kids have. Can’t you see that?”

“He already has a father,” Judith whimpered, quickly losing steam as her grief began to take the wheel from her anger. 

“He does and I will never let him forget Justin. We talk about him every night before he goes to bed. I show him pictures and videos. I tell him stories. We order pizza every Friday because it’s what we used to do when Justin was home.” Those tears that had been lingering on your lash line now broke free, spilling down your cheeks as you held your hands out in front of you, begging Judith to understand. “We go to the apple orchard and the pumpkin farm every fall because it was a tradition we started with him. I show him his favorite movies and we listen to his favorite music. Eli knows all the words to The Most Beautiful Girl in the World by Prince and he knows how Justin used to sing it to me every time he’d return from deployment and we’d dance around the living room. Judith, Eli will never forget Justin because I can’t ever forget Justin. You think I don’t grieve for him still? Sometimes it hits me and the pain is so bad that I double over with it. But am I really sentenced to spend the rest of my life alone at thirty-two because the universe was cruel enough to take my happy ending away from me?”

Judith actually looked stunned. In the ten minutes Steve had known her, even he was shocked to find her speechless. This did not seem like a woman who ran out of words. 

Then the two women were hugging and crying. He stood to the side, unsure of what to do. He had the equivalent of emotional whiplash. He’d been so angry, ready to storm the castle and defend you to the death if need be, and now it didn’t seem necessary. You clung to each other, sobs shaking your bodies. 

“I’m sorry,” Judith sniffed, shaking her head, hands wrapped around your shoulders. “I’m sorry. I just…it’s so unfair that he got taken from us and then to know you’re with…” She jerked her head toward Steve. Well, alright. She might be apologizing but apparently she still wasn’t fond of him. “To know Eli may see someone else as his…I just couldn’t bear it. I fear I will be the only one to remember my son.”

“You won’t.” Your hands found Judith’s forearms, hanging on. “I could never forget him and I will never let Eli forget him. I promise you that. We…we don’t even know what this is yet.” Steve would be lying if he said that didn’t sting just a bit. “It’s so new. Who knows where it’s going but if it moves in that direction, Eli will still know who his dad is. And no matter what happens, you will always be his grandmother and you will always have a place in his life.”

Judith nodded slowly, her fist coming to her mouth. The woman appeared to at least be trying to accept it. Steve wasn’t sure what the history was here. He didn’t know what kind of relationship she and you had in the past but he hoped, if for nothing else than the sake of Eli, that she could. 

“Can I…would it be okay if I came into town for his first game?”

“Of course. Eli would love it if you were there.”

Steve wasn’t sure he would. He wasn’t sure he wanted to spend any more time with this woman ever. But this wasn’t his decision. He knew when he started this thing that you came with some baggage. And if the heaviest load was some uptight ex mother-in-law, well, he’d just have to learn to heft it if he planned on sticking around. 

“Okay. Well, then…I guess I’ll just go. It’s a long drive back. But maybe I could go pick him up and…”

You cut her off, “Steve and I are picking up the boys and taking them on a bike ride. They’ve been looking forward to it all week. So today isn’t a good day. If you would have called first I could have told you that. I could have told you all of this and saved you the drive.”

“Right. Next time I’ll call as long as you plan on answering.”

“I will answer as long as I’m not busy.”

Judith’s mouth pinched up again, the crying camaraderie apparently forgotten now. Wiping away any sign of weakness or vulnerability with her fingers under her eyes, she straightened her spine and turned for the door. It was disorienting how quickly she looked like she hadn’t just been falling apart, completely reserved once again.

“I will see you in a couple weeks then.”

“See you in a couple weeks.”

And then she was gone. You exhaled, your shoulders and head dropping forward, as if all the strength you'd held in to handle Judith had rushed from you in one breath. Your arms wrapped around your middle, reminding him of Eli after school just yesterday. 

Steve stood still, unsure of what to do. Did you want him to comfort you? Did you want him to leave you alone? Should he offer to just head and get the boys and come back for you later so you could have some time to process everything that had just happened? 

“I’m sorry.” The words were spoken so softly he almost didn’t catch them. “She loves to sneak up on me at the worst times. I should have seen this coming. She’s been itching to have it out with me ever since Eli told her you were my boyfriend.”

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, shrugging. It wasn’t, not really. He wasn’t sure how he felt after that whole exchange. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” you stated firmly. “I really don’t. Not right now anyway. Can we just eat?” Lifting your head, you pasted on a smile. “That coffee smells amazing and I could really use some right now.”

“Oh…uh…yeah…”

You breezed past him into the kitchen, leaving him standing there wondering what in the hell had just happened and what it meant that you didn’t know what this was between you.

____________________________________________________________

The boys were down on the sand, building a fortress from rocks and driftwood that they collected for their superheroes. It was still far too cold to even consider stepping foot in the water. The day was warm, the sun beating pleasantly down on their skin, but it would take months for the lake to absorb that heat, usually not pleasant enough for a swim until late June or even early July. 

You sat on the blanket you'd brought with you to sit on while you enjoyed the picnic lunch that Steve had packed. Sandwich crusts, chip crumbs, and stray blueberries laid forgotten on plates as the boys declared themselves full in favor of running off to play. You took a sip of her iced tea, glancing over at Steve. 

After Judith’s impromptu interruption, ruining what otherwise had been an absolutely perfect night and morning, he’d been rather quiet and awkward. He didn’t appear mad but disoriented, like a child who’d fallen off their bike after removing the training wheels and feared getting back on because they didn’t trust themselves. It was like he’d lost his footing and couldn’t find it again. And you knew it was your fault. 

Judith just had such a negative impact on you and you were so exhausted from constantly trying to convince the woman that you w were doing a good job of raising Eli. Was it easy? No. Did you screw up a lot? Yes. But at the end of the day your son was happy, healthy, and loved. Wasn’t that what mattered? Why could that never be enough? Why did every decision you ever made have to come into question by a woman whose son joined the military just to get away from her?

“Steve…”

“Hmm?” His head turned toward you and you could see how hard he was working to keep an impassive look on his face, to not show how he was truly feeling. What was he feeling? Was he angry? He had every right to be after the way Judith had treated him, after you yourself had dismissed him, telling him you didn’t want to talk. 

“About earlier…”

He cut you off, lifting his hand in front of him, “It’s fine. Really. You said you didn’t want to talk about it so you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s not fine.”

“It is. It’s obviously a tough situation for you that I don’t know anything about so…”

“But you should,” you stated firmly. Rising to your knees, you shifted until you were in front of him, taking both of his hands in your own. “You should. If we’re doing this…being an us, then you should know. Judith is difficult but she is a part of my life and she isn’t going anywhere. She’s Eli’s grandmother and that means that you’re going to have to deal with her sometimes so you should know our history. You should know exactly what you’re walking into.”

“But we don’t even know what this is, right? Isn’t that what you said? We’re not that serious so why do I need to know anything important about you?”

Ouch. His words hit their mark, exactly as he’d meant them to based on the tone he’d used. A missile he’d launched, his own hurt weaponized and aimed directly for you, successfully obliterating its target. You dropped down onto your heels as he pulled his hands back from you. His hand came to the back of his neck, rubbing, as if he could wipe away the tension that had appeared between them. 

“Shit. Honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“Yes you did.”

“No. I didn’t.” His cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk with a frustrated exhale. “I want to know everything about you. I do. I want to know it all, the good, the bad, and everything in between. I just…when you said that…”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Is that how you feel? That you don’t know what we are? I mean, I guess I just need to know what this is. I thought we were on the same page but maybe we’re not. What do you want here, honey? Is this all just fun for you? Is this a casual thing? Are you serious about us or should I be preparing to have my heart stomped all over?”

Those beautiful eyes were begging you for an answer, for the answer he wanted. And he had it. He had all of you. He had every piece of you that you had to offer. But you didn’t know how much to say. He had no idea how completely gone for him you already were, how you dreamed of the future with him, what it would look like, the four of you together. 

Your eyes drifted over to the boys, yelling and giggling as Lex Luthor and his henchmen tried to attack the Fortress of Solitude they’d built from whatever they could find on the beach. You could picture this, days, months, years of this…the two of you sitting back and enjoying your boys together. Watching them grow up, birthday parties and Christmases, Steve helping them with their ties for school dances, teaching them how to drive. Nights together watching movies and playing games. You could see it so clearly in your mind but you were terrified that if you shared all that with him he would leave a blazing path through this forest as he ran as far and as fast as he could. 

“Honey?” he prompted when you'd been silent for so long. 

“What do you want?” you asked, turning the tables on him, placing the ball in his court. 

“What?”

“What do you want from this? Do you see this as something that has a future? Do you see us together six months from now? A year from now? Ten years from now? Or in three months will I be just another in a long line of heartbroken exes?”

Steve reared back as if you'd just slapped him across the face. And maybe it had been an insensitive question but you felt it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Steve had been in numerous relationships throughout his life. Robin had shared that he latched on and fell fast because he was so desperate to be loved. Was that what this was? 

You felt like he really liked you, like he truly cared about you. But was it just his past traumas causing him to act like that? Causing him to feel things that weren’t really there yet?

“Do you seriously not know?” he demanded. When you just looked at him, he groaned. “How do you not know how I feel about you? This isn’t even in the ballpark of casual for me. I told you I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel for you.”

“But how can you be sure? Robin said…”

“Robin said what? That I love too quickly because of my messed up childhood bullshit? Because my parents didn’t love me enough, I’m always looking for it elsewhere?”

“I mean, she may have said something like that.”

“And she’s not wrong. I have in the past. I stayed with Nancy because I was desperate for a family, a real family. I was desperate to make it work, to be successful where my parents weren’t. But I’m not twenty anymore. I’m thirty-two and I am well aware of my faults. I didn’t even see what I was doing then but I do now. I know every relationship I’ve ever had wasn’t really love. It was…I don’t know. Me just settling, searching for something, anything that would make me feel whole. But I’ve never found it. I’ve never felt it until you. I think you’re what I’ve been searching for. I’ve spent my whole life waiting for someone like you.”

This was the second time he’d said that to you and it didn’t fail to rock you to your very core once again. It shook your very foundation to know that this beautiful, perfect man seemed to think that you were the thing he’d been missing in his life, that you were the missing piece to the puzzle that he’d been hopelessly searching for. 

Your eyes roamed over his face, the flecks of gold in his eyes brought out by the sun, the freckles like angel kisses lovingly placed on his skin, those plump lips that girls would pay thousands of dollars to have. That word, that damn word, so simple, four letters, one syllable, was driving its way up your throat, desperate to be spoken. 

Your hands slid over his jaw, softly, gently, as if you were holding delicate treasure that must be protected, because you were. His Adam’s apple bobbed, the muscles in his neck tensing, as he waited for you to reply to the truths he’d just laid before you. 

“This isn’t casual for me either. I…I know my situation is different. I wasn’t searching all my life. I found…but he’s gone and when I lost Justin, I resigned myself to the fact that he was it. He had been my one shot at happiness and love and all that comes with it. But then here you came and you barreled through all of that doubt like a wrecking ball.” Your eyes slipped closed as you willed yourself to have the courage to jump off the edge, to soar through the air with nothing but hope that he would catch you instead of leaving you to hit the ground. “You snuck up on me and there is nothing just fun or casual about this because I…I love you.”

His eyebrows crept toward his forehead, every color in the spectrum dancing through his eyes that were now as wide as the moon and just as spectacular. You held your breath, your teeth worrying over your bottom lip. But then, as if in slow motion, his lips parted, curving into a slow smile that consumed his entire face, those little crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes. His fingers slid into your hair, pulling you to him, his forehead pressing against yours as he whispered, “You do?”

“I do. I know it’s really soon. I wasn’t even sure I should say it. I realized it yesterday and it terrified me but it also…I don’t know. It just felt right, like something just shifting into the place it belonged all along. I told myself I wasn’t going to say it, that I was going to wait.” Your eyes squeezed shut nervously. “I was going to wait until you said it and I hope it doesn’t scare you. You don’t have to say it back. I don’t want you to say it because you think you have to. I just…I need you to know that I am all in. I am not going anywhere. I have already dove in way too deep. There’s no going back now.”

“I love you, too.”

“Don’t…please don’t say it just because I…”

“I’m not.” His fingers trailed down over your arms, linking his fingers with yours and bringing your interlocked hands to his chest. “I’m not. I’ve been trying not to say it too. I didn’t want to push you. I know this is hard for you. I know this is the first time you’ve been with anybody since your husband passed. I wanted to take things at your pace, follow your lead. I was waiting for you to say it first. But I do. I love you. I think I’ve loved you ever since that night I brought pizza over. And yeah, that’s crazy and it makes no sense because we barely knew each other but it’s true. I love everything I already know about you and I want to spend my life getting to know everything I don’t.”

“You…your life…?”

“Shit. Was that too much? I’m not about to pull out a ring or anything. I’m not asking you to promise the rest of your life to me. I just…I just meant…”

“Steve,” you laughed, pressing your lips against his to silence him. “No. It wasn’t too much. I know what you meant. I mean, we can’t really say we’re all in if we’re not expecting this to last forever, right?”

“Right.” He grinned, releasing your hands to wrap his arms around you and pull you in close. You sat between his legs, your back nestled into his chest, settling into place right where you belonged as the two of you watched your boys run down the sand.

Chapter 16

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[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 25

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible.

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader

“How was coffee with Tori?” Dr. Miller asked when I walked into the living room where he sat in sweatpants with a bottle of champagne and two glasses in front of him.

I looked down at the set up and he grinned at me from behind a pair of glasses. “What’s this?” I asked.

Dr. Miller rose to his feet and approached where I stood. “I thought we could have a drink to celebrate you moving in here.”

I smiled at him and then let it fade.

“You’re having second thoughts,” He suspected.

“No.” I truly wasn’t. Even after bumping into Christine. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to ruin this. I just..”

Dr. Miller had his hands on his hips. His eyes were locked on mine. “You can tell me if it’s too soon.”

“I bumped into your ex,” I blurted out, “Christine. I scooted into LL Bean next to the coffee shop and she called out my name and approached me.”

“Well, that’s great. I’m sure she had some colorful things to say about me.” Dr. Miller shook his head and looked down. He ran a hand across his beard and sighed.

“She said she left you because of your secrets,” I went on.

“She left me?” He smirked but let it fade.

“It’s in the past, I don’t care who left who. She just kept mentioning your secrets and told me she wanted to warn me.” I held his stare, “And then I went to the ATM and I have over fifty thousand dollars in there. I had six the other day.”

“I put money in your account,” Dr. Miller admitted, “And I paid your rent so your friend wouldn’t feel stuck.. And so you wouldn’t feel bad about moving in here.”

“Why did you put that money in my account?”

“Because I have it,” Dr. Miller said simply. “And I want you to be financially.. comfortable.”

“That’s a lot of money.”

He wandered back to the couch and sat down, looking like the wind had been taken out of him. “I probably shouldn’t have.”

“I sound ungrateful,” I said aloud, taking a deep breath and trying to take a deep breath.

“You’re overwhelmed by the whole thing,” Dr. Miller corrected, “And I don’t blame you.I asked you to move in. I padded your bank account. I’m getting ahead of myself.”

I opened my mouth to speak and then stopped myself because I didn’t know what to say. There was a drawn out pause and neither of us spoke for what felt like ten seconds.

“What if we take a step back?” Dr. Miller asked. “Slow this down a bit.” He glanced at the empty champagne glasses. “It’ll give us both time to think.. reevaluate.”

I didn’t want to reevaluate. “Dr. Miller.” I shook my head.

“I do have secrets,” he admitted. “I have secrets.” Dr. Miller nodded to himself and looked down, folding his hands together as he leaned forward. “Since I’ve met you my whole mission has been to protect you.. and to make it impossible for you to want to leave me because for the first time in my life I'm finding myself falling in love.. with you.” He added, “But, I would never try to force you to stay. If it’s too much, it’s too much. If you get tired of this relationship, then you get tired of it. I can’t make you stay.. but I’m trying my damnedest to try to keep you.”

Again, I opened my mouth to speak but I was speechless. It had become downright impossible to maintain one emotion; one thought process. I wanted to cry and fall into his arms, but I also wanted to know why the hell Christine would go out of her way to issue me a warning.

“I’m falling for you, too,” I told him. I didn’t have to convince myself of that. “You’re honestly all I ever think about and I’m scared of how fast I’m falling for you.”

“That’s why you should take a break from this for a few days,” Dr. Miller said, making me nearly choke on my next set of words. “Get some space, think clearly.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” The thought was too much. I would feel a certain level of devastation if this was just suddenly over right when I thought it was getting started; right when we were on the cusp of moving to the next phase of our relationship - regardless of the damn timeline of it.

“No.” He said right away, rising to his feet. Dr. Miller paced the room and immediately pulled me into a hug. He held me firmly against him for a long moment and sighed. “I just feel like I’m rushing you; like I’m rushing this. And it’s pushing you away. I don’t want to do that.” When he pulled back so we were face to face I felt like crying, but I didn’t.

I nodded, but I didn’t want to do what he was suggesting. I knew once I walked out of that house and left the gates that I would start to sob. All of this would get the best of me and I’d spend the night contemplating every little facet of my life. I’d get no sleep. I’d have bags under my eyes. I’d wake up on a Saturday with absolutely nothing to do and not enough courage to call Dr. Miller. And all of my questions would fester in my brain until they took over completely. In other words, I’d be a mess.

“If you don’t want the money, you can wire it back to my account,” he added. “I’m sorry.” He put a hand on my face. “Clear your head. Think this through.”

“And then what?” I asked softly, looking into his solemn eyes. I knew mine mirrored his.

“You know the code,” Dr. Miller reminded me, “You have a key. Nothing will be stopping you from coming back.”

I continued to look up at him before eying the glasses of champagne. My eyes then met his again and I kissed him once on the lips. He never closed his eyes. Neither did I. This wasn’t what this night was supposed to be. Dr. Miller had planned a celebration but I just had to run into his ex-wife and let her get into my head. And then I go and complain about fifty thousand dollars being in my bank account.

You weren’t complaining, I reminded myself. You were asking a very valid, important question. One which he answered right away. Who am I to let Christine rain on our parade? Who was I to make Dr. Miller feel like a bad guy because of his ex’s words?

He looked down and locked his fingers through mine. Dr. Miller began walking me toward the front door and I felt the lump develop in my throat. My stomach knotted for all the wrong reasons. I didn’t want to go. My Prince Charming was giving me the world and I was in the process of denying it - or at least thinking about denying it.

Why? I asked myself. Because of some woman? Who’s to say she isn’t lying to get back at him? Or because she still loves him?

I didn’t immediately reach for the door knob, but I knew this was Dr. Miller’s suggestion and so I tried to respect that. I opened the door and let out a deep sigh as I did.

The cold air might as well have slapped me across the face and Dr. Miller leaned an arm on the door frame.

“Be careful.” He looked at me intently. “I’ll get you to your car. Call me when you get home.”

Home. Wasn’t this home? It was supposed to be home. Dr. Miller had referred to this as ‘home’ so many times in reference to both of us. It was like a dagger through the heart.

“Okay.” I gave a nod.

“Come back any time. You don’t even have to call,” he added, “But I’d prefer if you did.”

I swallowed hard, not at all having the words to say to him.

Dr. MIller trailed me out to my Mazda, barefoot on the frozen ground. I was freezing so I was sure he was but he didn’t show it. When I got to my car I was hoping he would ask me to stay, or pull me to him and kiss me hard. It was all I would need to make all of these melancholy feelings disappear. But he didn’t. He played fair - and I didn’t like it.

“I’ll call you soon,” I told him, looking up into his big brown eyes as I slunk in behind the wheel.

He tipped his mouth up in a half-smile and then it faded. “Please be careful.”

“I will.”

When my legs were tucked inside the vehicle, he gently closed the door and I started the engine. Even though he said we weren’t, I felt like if I left right then that it could be the end of it - all of it. My dreamlife, the one that literally fell into my lap, could all just go away. And, technically, nothing bad had happened between us. Things had been great. Really great. The only problem I could see was that we were both falling extremely fast for one another - and perhaps it was causing us both to act irrationally.

Should I have been seeing my older professor? Probably not. Should he have put fifty grand into my bank? Probably not. Should I have been so painfully willing to move in with him after only being with him for a month? Probably not.

I glanced in my rearview mirror as I began to pull away and saw him standing there, watching me go. When he finally turned away and walked back into the house, I let out a sob for the first time.

Did it matter what pace we decided to take in our relationship? No. Was it anyone else’s business? No. Should social norms of what was expected out of a relationship and how fast they were “supposed” to move affect what I felt was right in my relationship? No. And, perhaps the most impactful of all, should an ex’s influence stop you from following your heart? Hell no.

I knew what I wanted. And I decided I was just as crazy as Dr. Miller was. I was crazy about him, about us and about what the future could bring. I could deal with whatever layers he peeled back about himself as we grew together. All I knew for certain, right then, was that I didn’t want to go.

Dr. Miller had said I could come back any time. And so I hit the break and turned the car around before I got down to the gates. I hurried back up toward the house, parking the car where I’d originally left it and ran up to the front door as fast as I could.

I didn’t know whether to burst in or knock, and so I just started pounding with both fists until the door swung open.

Dr. Miller stood there in his gray sweatpants, navy blue thermal and bare feet staring back at me. To me, he’d never looked so beautiful. I couldn’t help it. I hurried inside, slamming the door behind me with one hand and never broke stride as I threw my arms around him and kissed him hard.

He reciprocated, kissing me back. I couldn’t breathe, and I didn’t care.

“I’m staying,” I said, finally taking charge of something.

Dr. Miller’s hands found the backs of my legs and he pulled me up off the ground, securing me chest-to-chest with my arms around the back of his neck. “Are you sure?” he breathed into my mouth.

“Yes.” I could still barely breathe but I managed. “You can tell me everything when you’re ready.” I pecked his lips again and he gave a barely-there smile. “I don’t need time to think. I know what I want.”

“I want you,” Dr. Miller whispered against my lips.

I kissed him again. “Open the champagne.”

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

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[bwabys-scenarios]

Fixer Upper

Part 31

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

pt 30

pt 32

A/N: Please remember that until further notice ALL of these chapters are FLASHBACKS that take place BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF FIXER UPPER! Just clarifying again because I’m tired of having to explain it 😭😭

warnings: lots of death, animal death, Kurapika gets drunk again lol, Reader’s suicidal thoughts/urges brought up

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(Name) stood in her apartment after reaching York New city, packing more essentials now that she was more prepared for the trip she was going to be taking.

They were headed to NGL, a country where people lived alongside nature. Apparently that’s where Kite assumed the chimera ant queen claw came from.

As she was about to leave, her phone began to rang.

“… Melody?” she answered as she walked out of the door. Melody sounded frantic on the other end, blubbering.

“It’s Kurapika, he got himself drunk again and won’t stop crying! I’m trying to coax him out of the bar, but he won’t listen to me.”

(Name) paused, standing outside of her apartment, her key hovering over the lock. “… he what?”

“He’s incredibly drunk, and won’t stop crying. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid he’ll make himself sick.”

(Name) paused, rubbing her temple. ‘What has gotten into him? Why is he acting like this when he’s always been so calm and collected?’

“I’m about to leave for another country. Leorio should be the second closest person to your location, I’ll text him.”

Melody sighed in relief over the phone, and (Name) could vaguely hear Kurapika slurring his words and the sound of objects being thrown around.

“Thank you, (Name). I know talking about him upsets you, I don’t mean to burden you-“

“No, it’s not a burden at all. He… he may have done and said some bad things, but I still love him with all my heart.”

She sighed softly, calling Leorio shortly after. He picked up almost immediately. “(Name), how are you doing? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to visit you, I’ve been-“

“Leorio…”

He paused, immediately going silent at the sound of her voice. “… what happened?”

(Name) locked her apartment, looking at the address Melody sent her. “It’s Kurapika. Apparently he’s drunk and won’t listen to reason. I can’t go for various reasons, but do you think you c-“

“No.”

She blinked, taking a moment to think before responding. “… no? What do you mean?”

“(Name), do you seriously expect me to help him after everything he put you through? For gods sake, you nearly killed yourself!”

The air grew thick and tense, and she could hear Leorio sigh over the phone. “I… I shouldn’t have said that. But my point still stands. How can you even think about helping him after that? The things he said to you… I care about you, (Name), but you need to think of yourself for once. I know you love him, but… there’s only so much you can do for someone that’s stuck in the past.”

She teared up, trembling. (Name) knew Leorio was right, she really did, but she couldn’t just leave Kurapika to potentially hurt himself or others. It wasn’t right. “Please…”

Leorio felt his heart leap into his throat when he heard how desperate she sounded. He knew just from the sound of her voice that she was crying. He slapped a hand over his forehead, cursing himself mentally for snapping at her. She was still in a very sensitive stage of healing, it wasn’t the right time to be saying these things to her.

“For me, Leorio… I couldn’t live with myself if I knew he got hurt…” she pleaded. He could picture the tears falling down her chubby cheeks, and her hands trembling as they held onto her phone.

He groaned, rubbing his temple. “Alright, alright… but I won’t be nice about it.”

She sniffled, and he was relieved when he heard a little laugh escape her lips. “Haha… thank you, Leorio. Be safe, love you.”

“You be safe, got me worried to death over here. I’ll come running if you need me, don’t hesitate to call my phone if you run into trouble on your mission.” Leorio said, his eyes softening as he looked at her contact photo.

“And… I love you too.”

She smiled, her finger hovering over the end call button. “Goodbye, Leorio.”

“Bye, sunshine.”

Leorio glanced at the address (Name) texted him before signing heavily. ‘He never thinks about how his actions will affect others, does he? There’s no way I’ll be nice to him about this.’

He put on his coat and made his way to his car, placing his cup of coffee in the cup holder. Leorio wasn’t going to let this slide.

Not at all.

———————

(Name) met up with the others at the airport, spotting Gon and Killua sitting together. As soon as they noticed her, the two boys perked up, Gon waving his hand with a big smile on his face. “(Name), you’re back!”

She put on the best smile she could. (Name) had tried her hardest to wipe away any evidence that she had been crying on her way to the airport, but Killua still raised an eyebrow when she got closer.

Gon was the one to point it out, though. “(Name)… are you alright? You look like you’ve been crying.”

A sigh left her lips before she could stop herself, the (h/c) haired woman waving her hand dismissively. “I’m fine, where’s Kite?”

She nearly jumped when Kite walked into view, almost as if he was summoned. Killua and Gon turned to face him as he began to speak.

“It may be a bit late to ask, but are you sure you want to come?”

“Of course!” Gon answered immediately, wearing his usual smile.

“You’re my nen teacher, I don’t have much of a choice.” (Name) said, folding her arms.

“You weren’t kidding about the “late” part.” Killua replied with a smirk.

Kite glanced at them before looking ahead. “We have no idea what the situation is like inside NGL. There may very well be a swarm of giant Chimera Ants already, hunting humans down. If that turns out to be the case, my priority will be saving them, so I may not be able to help any of you. You must be able to protect yourselves. If you want to come, that’s the requirement.”

With the last line, Killua spared (Name) a glance, his expression changing only enough for his closest friend to notice. “Okay, got it.” Gon agreed to Kite’s requirements, gently squeezing Killua’s hand. It was his way of saying that they would be okay, that (Name) would be okay.

“We’ll be fine.” Killua said, relaxing slightly with Gon’s comforting touch. Again he snuck a glance at (Name) who was looking intently a kite. Killua didn’t think she was weak, but he knew she wasn’t on their level of strength at all. Although he worried, he was confident that either him or Gon would be able to protect her if push came to shove.

This thought made the young assassin pause. ‘When did I come to care for her so much?’

He thought back to the Hunter Exam, remembering when she stepped in front of the woman who planned on killing him and got hurt in the process, or when she covered him and Gon in her cardigan to keep them warm during the Third Phase. She even let the boys stay at her apartment when they came for the York New auction, feeding and housing them for free. It wasn’t often that people showed Killua genuine kindness.

Unfortunately, Killua was used to working with a guve and take sort of relationship. ‘If I keep her safe during this, it’ll more than pay back for all the nice things she’s done. Then I won’t be in her debt.’ Killua thought to himself, trying to shake off the feeling of dread he had about her coming with them. Caring for too many people was a recipe for disaster, especially going into a dangerous situation like this one. The more you worried about others, the more likely you are to get yourself killed.

“Don’t worry boys, I’ll keep you safe.”

Killua felt his stomach sink at (Name)’s words. A soft, but firm hand was placed on both of their shoulders as she spoke. “I won’t let anything happen to you, not on my life.”

His chest hurt, it felt like he was having trouble breathing. Why was this woman that was obviously so much weaker than them so determined to keep them safe, when it was them who should be protecting her? Why did she put herself in harms way when she didn’t have to, when it didn’t benefit her? Killua didn’t understand, he couldn’t understand.

But… it made him feel strangely… happy. Someone in this world was determined to keep him safe, to keep him happy and warm and fed. No one had ever given him that type of security before. Sure Gon was his friend who he loved and cherished, but he couldn’t give Killua the type of love (Name) did.

The love a mother had for her son.

‘Mom…’

Killua looked at her a little differently, staying silent as Kite spoke up once more.

“And if I’m the one who’s in danger, you should escape without me.” Kite finished, looking between the three of them. “Got it?”

None of them answered, his words leaving them uneasy.

As they flew over York New city, the sun began to set before they knew it. (Name), Gon, and Killua watched as the sun set outside of the airship.

“What did you just decide?”

“Remember what Kite said before we left? That we should escape without him if he’s in danger.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it was a choice.”

“Yeah. That’s why none of us answered, but I’ve been thinking. Is it possible for Kite, who earned Ging’s respect, to be in that much danger?”

(Name) frowned, leaning against the wall. That was a question only a child would ask. Of course, regardless of skill, one could always be in danger given the right circumstance. There was always a bigger fish, someone was alway stronger than you.

“You said that Ging had a reason for bringing Kite and me together…” Gon said, glancing to Killua.

“Yeah.”

“You’re probably right. I don’t know the reason, but I can’t give up halfway, no matter what’s going on. Otherwise I’ll disappoint Ging. Of course, I could never forgive myself, either. So I won’t run away. Thats I’ve decided.”

Killua sighed. “Man, you had this totally serious expression, so I was expecting something big. But it’s just business as usual.”

“Huh? I thought about this a lot. I even ran a bunch of mental simulations…”

(Name) tried not to laugh imagining Gon trying his best to think of possible situations that may happen in the near future.

“Think all you’ll want, but you’ll still be Gon. If someone said you should abandon them, you’d never do it.” Killua replied, unable to keep himself from smiling:

“Mmm… you make it sound like I wasted my time considering it. Then what about you?”

“I’m a spontaneous guy, so I’d think about it when the time comes.”

“You mean you might run away?”

Killua paused for just a moment, his eyes moving from (Name) then back to Gon. He exhaled, shrugging his shoulders.

“Depends. I can’t say until it actually happens.”

“Say for instance…”

“I can’t tell you what is do in a hypothetical situation. I don’t decide until it’s time.”

The air ship carried the group heads for the Mitene Union, still unaware of the cruel fate that lies in wait for them…

————————

Seeking the giant Chimera Any, Kite’s group has arr he’s in the Mitene Union. Now, they travel from the Republic of Rokario to the neighboring GGL Autonomous Region. “NGL, huh? They believe living naturally is always better. They may be weird for living there, but you guys are weird for coming to visit, too. No idea what’s going on, but I’ve already driven in about ten similar groups today alone.”

“Ten groups?!” Gon exclaimed, turning to look at the man driving them.

“Yeah.”

“Then it sounds like we’re among the last to arrive.” Kite said, gazing out the window.

The all exited the van, (Name) groaning as she stretched lightly. “Ugh, my legs fell asleep. K-Kite!”

She held onto his arm, her legs shaking like a newborn giraffe as she tried to regain her balance.

“I told you to not sit on your leg, but you wouldn’t listen.” Killua teased, poking her leg. She yelped and nearly fell over, but was kept steady by a firm hand on her lower back.

“Those two huge trees serve as the checkpoint and embassy,” the driver said, pointing to the large trees ahead of them.

“Those may be the biggest trees I’ve ever seen in my life. Hmm…” (Name) walked towards them. “These probably hold so much history. Do you think they were around before the people living in this country?”

“Probably long before.” Kite answered, smiling softly as she waddled on ahead with Killua and Gon flanking her in case she stumbled. “Stay alert. The ants are a concern, but the NGL is more than a nature loving organization.”

“Got it.”

Two men met them at one of the trees, smiling in a vaguely friendly way. “What brings you here?”

“We’re on a hunt. A quarantined organism may have invaded this country.”

“If you are pro Hunters, then we cannot deny you entry. Follow me.”

They walked inside, where men were typing away on computers. “You’re using computers to and machines.” Killua said, staying near (Name)’s side.

“This place isn’t within NGL’s borders. This area is used for foreign relations and information exchange.”

“Are there any facilities similar to this within the country?”

“No, not a single one. No machines of any kind are allowed inside NGL. Naturally, visitors are also not allowed to bring any inside. Which means you’ll need to remove all metallic, petroleum, glass, or other such goods on your person.”

“D-Does that included my glasses?”

“Yes. If your clothes, belts, shoes, or underwear contain any plastic, chemicals, or metal you must remove.”

(Name)’s face heated up, and she took a step back. Both Killua and Gon didn’t seem very pleased, but stayed quiet.

“You’re kidding. You’re telling us to strip naked?” Spin said, popping her bubblegum.

“Don’t worry. There is natural clothing for sale upstairs.”

“Also, if there are any bolts inside your body, dental implants, gold, silver. Or silicone enhancements that cannot be removed, you will not be allowed to enter.”

(Name) accompanied the others upstairs, looking around the racks for suitable clothing. She was disappointed to see very sparse options in the plus size section. ‘Well, at least there’s something.’

She walked out, wearing a tanktop and baggy sweatpants. It wasn’t super flattering, but the clothes were strangely comfortable.

“Miss, you can keep your cardigan. It’s made with wool and died with beetroot juice.”

Killua and Gon watched as she happily donned her signature cardigan. “Ah, that’s fortunate. I really didn’t want to leave it behind.”

She walked down the stairs, joining the others. Kite watched as she smiled softly, gently patting her cardigan. “Only six of us are left?”

He glanced out the window. “I want you to stand by in the closest town. We’ll return here within two weeks and contact you.”

“Got it.”

The group was taken across to the other tree. “The checkpoint is over there. There will be a physical exam and interview as well as metal, x-ray, and ultrasound scanning.”

Kite sighed, surveying the area. “The security is rather strict.”

“Some people have smuggled in guns by hiding the parts inside their bodies. It’s common for people to hide cameras or cellphones in their rectums. Some people even trained animals to bring them laptops once they are inside.”

After thoroughly checking them, the woman gave them a friendly smile. “All of you are clean.”

(Name) sighed, looking as they stored away her medication, even her inhaler. Killua and Gon glanced at each other then to her.

“(Name), are you sure you should come without your inhaler? Leorio said it was very important that you keep it on you at all times…” Gon said, tilting his head.

She shrugged, buttoning her cardigan up slightly. “Meh, I’ll probably be fine… I just have to take it easy.”

“This isn’t exactly the place where you’ll be able to take it easy, dummy.” Killua replied, lightly smacking her head.

“Owie…”

She held her head and followed them as they were guided towards the entrance to the NGL.

“Thank you for your patience. Please pass through,”

The walked out, (Name) nearly being blinded by the bright light.

“Welcome to the NGL!”

The looked out across the landscape, being somewhat unimpressed. “Okay, let’s begin the hunt.”

———————

(Name) held on tightly to Kite’s waist, her face buried into his back. “I didn’t know you were scared of horses, (Name),” Killua teased from the back of another horse.

“I’m n-not afraid of horses, I just don’t like riding them!”

“They’re gentle creatures, you don’t have to be afraid.”

“Gon, I said I’m not afraid of horses! I’m afraid of riding on the back of a galloping creature with little to no way to stay secure!”

Kite glanced back at her, his hand gently taking hers. “I won’t let you fall, so don’t worry.”

She paused, her cheeks beating up ever so slightly as she buried her face further into his back. “Thanks… that might make up for you forgetting to teach me.”

He snickered. “I still intend to teach you, when we have the time.”

“Uh huh.”

Killua’s watched the interaction, his eyebrows furrowing. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, he felt strangely protective over her, and he wasn’t as sure about Kite as Gon was.

They took a short break, Killua pulling (Name) over to sit with him and Gon while they looked over a map. “Woah, slow down. You’re pulling me too hard.”

“Sorry.”

He didn’t sound very sorry. She huffed, kneeling beside the two as they went over the map. As they spoke, she rummaged through her bag to hand out some water and snacks.

“They’re still following us, aren’t they?” Gon said, making (Name) look up. Killua nodded.

“Yeah… they claim to be here in case we encounter unknown tribes and require interpreters or intermediaries, but they’re obviously here to watch us.”

“Well, I never expected the people here to be of any help. My gut tells me that it’s here.” (Name) jumped slightly when Kite walked over.

“You really think so? The air does seem… off.”

Kite nodded, walking back towards their horse. “Yeah, let’s get going. We’re burning daylight.”

They continued on horseback, (Name) finding a bit of courage to look around. The area was desert like, so quiet a bit of dust was kicked up by the horses. She squinted her eyes, spotting a small dot of yellow approaching them.

‘Is that… no, it can’t be…’

“Kite, we have to stop!”

Kite brought the horse to a stop, the others following suit. As they looked to her for an explanation, one of the bees landed on her finger, a piece of paper stuck to it.

“This… this is one of Ponzu’s bees.”

Kite took the paper, reading over it before handing it to Gon and Killua.

The note read: “Help!! Chimera ant nest! Rocky Area, notify Hunter Association!!” along with a small drawing of said rocky area.

“It’ll be dangerous… but could you accompany me?” Kite asked looking to the three.

“Of course!” Gon said immediately, the bee landing on his finger.

“We’re pros…�� Killua agreed, glancing (Name)’s way. He was hoping she would turn back, but when he noticed the expression on her face, he knew there was no way she would be leaving.

“Yeah… I’m going. I want to know if Ponzu is okay.”

Killua helped (Name) off of the horse, holding onto her hand. “Are you sure? Like Kite said, it’s going to be dangerous.”

He was hoping he could persuade her, but knew he couldn’t. When she wanted to do something, she would do it. “I’m sure. Thank you for worrying though, Killua.”

Killua felt his face go red as she ruffled his hair. Although he usually wouldn’t let people get away with treating him like a child… he didn’t mind if it was her. It wasn’t done to demean him or put down his accomplishments, it was purely because she cared about him, and he was beginning to realize that.

“Miss Interpreter… sorry, but we’re in a hurry.” Kite said to the woman that had been following them.

“Yes. The horses can move a bit faster.”

“They won’t be fast enough. I want you two to return to the border, find the others, and get word to the Association. These creatures are dangerous.” Kite said to the others.

“Got it.”

“Be careful, Kite.”

(Name) began to stretch with Killua and Gon, lacing up her shoes again and tying them extra tight. She wasn’t sure how long she could run for, but she knew she could keep up with them for a good bit.

“If you can’t keep up, I’ll leave you behind.” Kite warned, getting off the horse. Killua huffed.

“Right back at you.”

“All ready to go!” Gon said, smiling.

(Name) stood beside them, feeling a bit nervous. She looked between the other three, holding the straps of her backpack tight.

“Let’s go.”

She ran beside them, keeping up pretty well. As they raised through the desert area, Killua and Gon both kept an eye on her to make sure she was still following behind. They didn’t doubt her skill, but did worry over her due to her asthma. Not only were they running quite a bit, but they were kicking up a lot of dust as they did.

She was relieved when they came upon a forested area, the group stopping a bit ahead of her. Thinking it was for a break, she took out her canteen and took a swig, only to spit out her water almost immediately.

On the ground in front of them was a puddle of blood, along with torn bits of clothing… clothing that (Name) recognized. “No…”

Gon grimaced beside her, his hand reaching out to squeeze hers. It was a bit too tight, but she didn’t say anything, she was in shock.

Killua bent over. “This… is a bullet casing.”

(Name) turned to see him holding up just that, the bucket casing glinting in the light that shined between the canopy above. “Nothing mechanical is allowed here, right?”

“So the underground rulers of NGL were manufacturing guns in addition to drugs.”

“But, judging by this…”

“It wasn’t done by a human. Most likely, it was a Chimera Ant. If the Chimera Ants are using guns… I hate to consider the possibility, but it’s possible that NGL’s underground rulers have already been fed to the queen…”

(Name) was still in shock, dropping to her knees to tenderly pick up Ponzu’s hat. Her fingers traced the fabric, brushing away the dirt.

“What will happen if Chimera Ants are both with their genes? NGL and Chimera Ants… the worst combination imaginable. This could create an unprecedented biohazard.”

Killua watched her from a distance, feeling some strange heartache when he noticed tears falling down her cheeks.

“Do you think she’s… alive?”

Her voice cracked at the work alive, as if it was hard for her to imagine a world where Ponzu wasn’t alive. Killua and Gon shared a glance, preparing to speak but Kite beat them to it.

“It’s unlikely.”

It was like time stopped, the air around her growing too heavy to breathe in. She stared at the hat in her grasp, her hands trembling. “No… no she can’t be dead, there… there has to be-“

“(Name).”

Kite placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “We can’t sit here and speculate. If we don’t keep moving, the death count will keep rising, and your friend’s death would have been in vain. If seeing death is something you can’t handle, you should turn back while you still can.”

It was a bit harsh, but he wasn’t wrong. The road ahead of the would be full of death and destruction, and if she chose to walk that road she would have to be strong enough to keep moving, despite her losses.

She wiped her tears and stood up, pocketing Ponzu’s hat. “Sorry, I’m ready.”

Kite nodded, and they all began their journey again, this time in complete silence.

————————

In a town a few hours away from York New, Leorio drove down one of the winding roads as he glanced at the address on his phone. It was nearly midnight, and he had an important exam he’d have to take in the morning.

“You’re doing this for her, Leorio,” he mumbled to himself as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

(Name) never asked him to do things for her, no, she only asked for favors when it came to helping others. Sometimes he wished she would put herself first and let him be there for her more, but he knew that it would take some time for her to open up more.

Leorio stopped the car and peeked out his window, surveying the bar the address had led him to.

“Where is he? Melody told (Name) he would be-“

He stopped, his eyes landing on a slumped figure sitting on the sidewalk. Leorio knew exactly who it was, even though their face was covered by their long blonde hair.

“Kurapika.”

Leorio stood in front of the blonde, waiting as he slowly lifted his head. “Leorio? Why… are you here..?”

The man crossed his arms, staring down at Kurapika with the look of a disappointed father. “Come on, you can’t just sit on the sidewalk drunk. Where’s Melody?”

The blonde blinked slowly, his eyes half lidded as he looked up at Leorio. “Had to go watch Neon…”

Leorio’s lips formed into a tight line. “I’m assuming she took your shift to save your ass?”

Kurapika didn’t answer, instead hiccuping before sipping on a bottle of water that had been left beside him. Leorio knew it had to be Melody who left it behind for him, to help Kurapika sober up a bit. “Come on, I’m taking you home.”

The blonde didn’t protest, stumbling to his feet and nearly falling on his face before Leorio caught him. “Fuck, Kurapika, you’re wasted. What the hell has gotten into you?”

He didn’t answer, the smell of alcohol on Kurapika’s breath making Leorio grimace. Even through his anger, Leorio could sense something was wrong, that the person he had considered his friend needed help. “Whatever, come on.”

Leorio placed him in the passenger seat of his car, grabbing (Name)’s cardigan from the backseat and tossing it to Kurapika. It was cold, and Leorio’s car didn’t have heating, so that would keep him warm.

He just wasn’t expecting the reaction Kurapika would have to the soft clothing.

Kurapika’s eyes went wide, tears falling down his cheeks as he buried his face into the fabric, sobbing into her cardigan. “(Name)… oh, (Name)…”

This act made Leorio pause, his brows knitting together. He knew Kurapika had pushed her away for her own good, but he had still been unnecessarily cruel to the only person that had given him unconditional love since his clan was massacred. In Leorio’s eyes, he didn’t have the right to be sobbing into her cardigan and whimpering her name. Kurapika didn’t deserve to mourn her as if she was dead when she was still alive.

But Leorio still helped him to his hotel room, still held back his hair when he threw up, and still brushed Kurapika’s teeth for him so he wouldn’t have the taste of vomit in his mouth when he woke up. Leorio was a doctor, he couldn’t just leave him without something, so he tucked Kurapika in and set a glass of water and some pain relief medicine on the nightstand. It was all he could do, he had to leave so he could try and get some sleep before his exam in the morning.

As he left, he remembered that Kurapika still had (Name)’s cardigan. Leorio was about to take it back, but he watched as Kurapika snuggled into the fabric, the scent helping to calm down his racing heart. Leorio was far too kind, muttering under his breath as he closed Kurapika’s hotel door behind him. “I’ll just ask Melody to wash it and send it back tomorrow…”

Kurapika wouldn’t remember any of this encounter when he woke up, but he would be pleasantly surprised to be wearing (Name)’s cardigan in the morning.

Neither Leorio or (Name) would get that cardigan back, unfortunately.

————————

“It’s safe to assume that the Chimera Ants have assumed control of NGL’s interior. The question is if we can reach their nest before the Queen births the King.”

(Name) was having a bit of trouble keeping up, her chest was heavy with grief and regrets. Could she have saved Ponzu if she had come with her and Pokkle instead?

“Hindsight is always 20/20. Thinking of what could have been will change nothing,” Kite stated, as if he could read (Name)’s thoughts. The woman frowned deeply.

“I know… but… if I had just-“

Kite cut her off by holding up his hand. “But you didn’t. You’re here now, let’s focus on trying to honor your friend by saving as many lives as we can.”

She didn’t answer, simply allowing Gon to squeeze her hand gently. (Name) didn’t have the words or energy to properly respond to Kite. Her absence in her friend’s time of need weighed heavily on her chest, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever forgive herself.

“There’s still hope, (Name),” Gon said softly as they continued towards a small village. “You said Pokkle was with her, right? Maybe he’s still alive.”

She tried her best to smile. “You’re right, there is still hope. Sorry if I scared you, Gon.”

She knew better than most that Gon didn’t like seeing his friends lose hope. It was something that made the boy a bit anxious, and he’d often do as much as he could to make the other feel better. (Name) tried to keep her aura neutral as calm, to make sure he didn’t feel the need to comfort her too much. Gon was just a child after all, a child she wanted to protect. She couldn’t let her feelings of grief potentially put him in harm’s way.

That’s why, even as they walked through the abandoned village, she remained silent, a cold anger washing over her at the sight of torn and bloody children’s clothes and beloved dollies left behind in the dirt. No child would willingly leave their previous toy behind, and the clothes being the only thing telling them humans had been there was very similar to the state they’d found Ponzu in. Or well, what was left of her.

“No one’s here.” Gon said softly as his fingers traced the splintered wood of a destroyed door. Whatever had been there before them had the strength to tear down homes like shredding paper. “Hey… something smells. Coming from over there.”

The group followed a trail of blood, Killua instinctively sticking very close to (Name). It’s like his body could sense that she wasn’t as well equipped as them to handle the threat they would soon face, and he would need to have her at arms length in case something came at them.

They found several horses impaled on tree limbs, the sound of flies buzzing around they corpses and the smell of death becoming more pronounced the closer they got. (Name) covered her nose, gagging at the pungent odor hanging around the area.

“It’s like a morning sacrifice.” Gon said, making Killua and (Name) tilt their heads.

“A ritual practices by birds called bull-headed shrikes. They impale their prey on sharp objects such as branches.” Kite explained to the two, before they all turned their heads.

“HEY!”

Killua threw his arm in front of (Name), fueled by pure instinct. She yelped slightly, he hadn’t had time to hold back, so the blow to her belly stung quite a bit. She didn’t complain though, the sight of the creature appearing before them made her pain dull in comparison to the overwhelming fear she felt.

It was tall, possibly taller than Kite with a human-like appearance. The thing that set it apart was the strange legs and wing like limbs, along with rabbit ears, nose, and whiskers. The thing about it that scared her the most was the fact that it had been able to conceal its presence from them.

“What!?”

“Wh-what is that thing?”

(Name) pushed away the urge to pull Killua and Gon behind her, knowing that one wrong move could have that thing attack them within seconds. Her eyes didn’t leave the creature, not for a second. She had never felt so afraid, not even standing before the Phantom Troupe. At least they had been human, but she had no idea what this was, and the unknown was more frightening than anything else.

They were all on high alert, watching as it raised a hand to point at them. “Trash. Those are mine!”

It seemed to be angry that they were near its prey, the horses. That thing must have been what impale the poor things.

It launched towards them, so fast that (Name) could barely follow it with her eyes. Kite was its target, and when he easily dodged it, it came after them. It hit her, Gon, and Killua out of the way, the blow causing them to fly backwards several feet. (Name) nearly puked, and even Gon whined from the pain.

That sound made (Name) tense up, her aura spreading out to cover the two as she got into a fighting position. She didn’t have as much experience as Killua and Gon, but she would fight regardless.

The creature seemed focused on Kite, as he was the biggest threat, but he didn’t give the creature the time of day, instead disappearing from sight before reappearing behind the three. “Gon, Killua, (Name). You three must deal with him yourselves. This is a chimera ant soldier, we will encounter many more like him. I won’t be able to help you during combat. If you can’t defeat it, you’ll have to leave. You’ll just be in my way.”

The two boys nodded, their auras spiking as (Name) bit her lip. She knew Kite was right, he usually was, but she feared what may happen to them.

“Weren’t you listening, Kite?” Gon asked, his gaze focusing on the chimera ant.

“We’re also pros!” Killua added as they began to advance towards their opponent.

“Don’t treat us like kids!”

(Name) jumped slightly, holding a hand over her heart. She wanted to listen, but in her heart there would always be children to her. But she knew that babying them wouldn’t accomplish anything, so instead she stood by their sides, ready to fight with them.

(Name) attacked with them, barely dodging a hit that would have knocked her head clean off her shoulders. She used her nen to protect her body from another blow before reinforcing her fists and focusing all of her nen into her fist to punch him in the face.

The creature was dazed just long enough for Killua and to land a lightning based attack on him, paralyzing it so Gon could get a hit in with his own nen attack.

It was launched into the air, and before the could continue, it was scooped up by another Chimera Ant. It growled and roared, struggling. “Bastards! I’m gonna eat you! I will! Remember this!”

“Our attacks…” Gon whispered, his eyes still on the Chimera Ant.

“They didn’t work.” Killua finished, giving (Name) a look over before frowning.

Kite approached them, his aura calm. “That guy’s smart. He let his soldier do the fighting, so he could learn our abilities. Are you coming?”

They all turned to look at him, eyes wide.

“There’s no need to feel down. Your attacks weren’t that bad. You just need experience now. If you wish to become stronger, this is a perfect opportunity. But if you aren’t prepared, you won’t be able to endure the ordeal. Whether we win or lose, hell lied ahead of us.”

They glanced at each other, and (Name) knew that she couldn’t leave. Not when things like that chimera ant existed.

“We’re coming.”

“Yeah.”

————————

As the sun began to set, they came across the corpses of several NGL workers that ran the hidden drug factory. Although they weren’t good people, (Name) still said a quick prayer, hoping they would find peace after being slaughtered like animals.

“This is ugly… the stench alone would guide us to the corpses.” Kite said, looking over the devastation caused by the chimera ants.

“Look at this. So this is the hidden side of the NGL.”

Killua held up a gun, frowning. (Name) took it from his hands and set it back down, then took out her handkerchief and swiped it over his palms.

“I suppose so.”

They looked up when they heard Gon call them from the hill. “Killua, Kite, (Name)…”

The silence of the Drug factory overtaken by the Chimera Ants further intensified the chill in the air. There was no doubt that every human that had once worked there was now dead, the smell confirmed it.

(Name) sighed softly as they set up camp for the night nearby. It was far enough away that they could actually rest for a bit in shifts. As Gon and Killua slept, Kite turned to (Name).

“You did well during the fight, but I did notice you only used your basic nen practices. Is there a reason for that?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s because I don’t really know all that much about nen. I’ve got the basics down, but when it comes to anything more advanced, I’m not that knowledgeable.”

Kite winced, scratching the back of his head. “Ah, I have a feeling I’m to blame for that.”

(Name) smiled, glancing back at the two boys sleeping before giving Kite her attention again. “Mmm, I didn’t want to say it, but yeah.”

They both shared a laugh before Kite leaned back and sighed. “Alright, I guess this is a good opportunity to teach you some things, but let’s start you off by retaking the water divination test.”

She watched as Kite prepared the test, her fingers tapping nervously against her leg. “Relax, you took it once before, didn’t you?”

“Yeah… but I was alone. I… I was pretty sure the volume of water increased.”

Kite hummed in thought. “Well, with another person here to inspect the results, maybe I can pick up on something you didn’t.”

“Yeah…”

She held her hands over the cup, gently emitting her aura. Again, it seemed like the volume of water in the cup raised, but Kite seemed to notice something she didn’t. “Ah, so that’s what it is… I had a feeling you weren’t an enhancer, and I was right.”

(Name) tilted her had as he lifted the leaf in the cup, and was surprised to see roots stretching down to the bottom of the cup. “The reason the volume of water rose was because you were making this leaf sprout roots. You’re a specialist for sure, possibly with some kind of time ability…”

“B-but I thought… my ability was to heal…”

Kite shook his head, placing the leaf in her hand. “Keep using your ability and don’t stop until I say so.”

She nodded and continued, her eye widening as the roots continued to grow, and then shrivel up in her hand before turning to dust. “You have the ability to speed up time. It can be used to heal, but it can also be used to hurt.”

Kite tried to hide his concerned expression. This was quite the ability for an inexperienced nen user to have. As her teacher, he would have to report this to Chairman Netero for safety reasons, but as her friend… he was impressed.

“(Name)!” Gon whisper yelled, crouching next to her. Before telling her what he wanted to, he let out a yawn and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “It’s… your turn to sleep.”

“Ah, okay.”

She got up, but Kite caught her arm. “(Name), don’t forget what we learned tonight. I want you to try using your ability in your next battle.”

“Yeah… I will.”

She laid down in the sleeping back Kite brought, getting some much needed rest, feeling a lot more confident in herself, now that she knew what she was capable of.

————————

Kite, Gon, Killua, and (Name) had advanced deep within NGL, in search of the Chimera Ant nest, and have arrived at a cliff with peculiar openings.

“This is the Chimera Ant nest?” Gon asked, looking upon the former weapon factory.

“No, they don’t make their nests in holes. They use mud and feces to build them.” Kite replied, making the three wince in disgust. “Let’s go. You’ll understand once we’re inside.”

The lights along the tunnel flickered as they travelled through it. (Name) wrapped her cardigan tightly around herself, feeling the slight cool breeze blow past them as they ventured in further.

“There’s no telling when or from where they will attack. Be on your guard.” Kite warned.

“Yeah, got it. That other chimera ant completely concealed his presence.”

Killua’s reminder made (Name) shudder. It was frightening, thinking of beings they had considered animals being able to conceal themselves completely.

“Is this place…”

They entered a room with various numbered large vials stood, some shattered. Body parts were scattered on the floor, presumably belonging to the now fed NGL workers.

“Yes, it is NGL’s hidden side.” Kite confirmed.

“A drug factory.”

“Exactly. This factory produces the ingestible drug D2 which is spreading throughout the mainland. There are probably bila trees nearby, which produce its main ingredient. Ironic given their claims as preservationists.” Kite said with a scoff.

“They’re making more than drugs. Look.” Killua opened a box containing various guns. “It’s the same as the others.”

“I assume that only the NGL leaders know the truth of this place. The other members joined because they honestly loved nature. “

“So this facility is the center of NGL’s underground. If it’s empty…

Then Chimera Ants have wiped out the NGL underground. And a bunch of amateurs with guns won’t suffice to deal with them.” Kite finished Killua’s thought.

(Name) tuned them out for a moment as she inspected the guns, but was quickly stirred from her thoughts when Kite spoke.

“Shh, a few are around.”

She was immediately on guard, her body tensing as she stood among Killua and Gon. “They’re slowly approaching through the middle tunnel. There are more in the right and left tunnels.” Kite warned.

“En… how far can you search?” Killua asked as the approached the room.

“Everything within a 45 meter radius.”

“45 meters!?” Gon exclaimed, glancing around the room.

“Depending on physical and mental condition, I can increase that by a few meters. Here they come!”

(Name) prepared herself for the fight ahead, ready to test out her abilities for the first time.

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐟. 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐭𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐳𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  dialogue  prompts  taken  from  quotes  of  various  f.  scott  fitzgerald  works.  feel  free  to  edit  as  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ you are afraid of being in love then? ❜

❛ i’ll kiss you if you want me to. ❜

❛ we’ll survive, you and i. ❜

❛ come and kiss me and let’s forget. ❜

❛ hard to sit here and be close to you, and not kiss you. ❜

❛ i’m not used to being loved. i wouldn’t know what to do. ❜

❛ sometimes i don’t know whether we are real or whether we are characters in one of my novels. ❜

❛ wouldn't it be awful if we fell in love again? ❜

❛ i’m yours - you know it. ❜

❛ you’ve a place in my heart no one else ever could have. ❜

❛ books mean more than people to me anyway. ❜

❛ you’ve got an awfully kissable mouth. ❜

❛ i won’t forget you. i will promise to remember you always. ❜

❛ if i wait till i fall in love again i'll just wait forever. ❜

❛ things you’ve just said and forgotten, i’ve put myself asleep night after night remembering. ❜

❛ love isn’t like it is in books. ❜

❛ i'm telling you all of a sudden, but it isn't new with me. i love you. ❜

❛ i keep the light burning on your desk so i'll think you're there when i wake up. ❜

❛ the odd thing is that i’m in love with you anyhow. ❜

❛ won’t you let me lean against your shoulder just the smallest bit? ❜

❛ it’s been very rare to have known you, very strange and wonderful. ❜

❛ it's sweeter to be alone. ❜

❛ if you’re tired of kissing me, i’d better go. ❜

❛ i’ve formed the habit of liking you. ❜

❛ there’s something between us- a sort of pull. something you always do to me and i to you. ❜

❛ i won't have to build my love up. it's up in the skies now. ❜

❛ you’re trying to leave yourself behind, but you can’t. the more you try to run away from yourself, the more you’ll have yourself with you. ❜

❛ i’m sorry i had such a devastating effect on you. ❜

❛ i forgot everything. your lips were so beautiful. ❜

❛ say you love me. say it now — can’t you say it now? even if you don’t mean it? ❜

❛ i still love you. that’s the odd thing. ❜

❛ my god, you’re fun to kiss. ❜

❛ i wouldn’t change you for the world. ❜

❛ it's all so simple. he loved me and i loved him. that's all there is. ❜

❛ you’ve fallen for me — completely. you’ve got me in your dreams. ❜

❛ tonight there’s got to be no past or future, no time, just tonight, you and i. ❜

❛ of course you could never love anybody but me. ❜

❛ i’m a lost soul maybe — i don’t feel at all like i ought to feel. ❜

❛ i fell in love with you the first time i saw you. ❜

❛ in my heart i love her all the time. ❜

❛ and what in hell could we ever be to each other? ❜

❛ i realized what was the matter, what had always been the matter — i was deeply and incurably in love with her. ❜

❛ i’m more beautiful than anybody else, why can’t i be happy? ❜

❛ you intoxicated me. it was just as though you were making me love you by some invisible force. ❜

❛ it's because i love you, dear— ❜

❛ i once imagined you loved me a little bit, if you’ll excuse the presumption. ❜

❛ i loved you once — for a year i thought you were the only person in the world. ❜

❛ sometimes you think you’re so much in love that your love could fill the biggest palace conceivable. sometimes you haven’t got enough to fill one room. ❜

❛ his dark eyes took me in, and i wondered what they would look like if he fell in love. ❜

❛ people fall in and out of love all the time, don’t they? i wonder how they manage it. ❜

[fandsart]

To Be Friends

I’ve exaggerated some of Nancy’s negative character traits slightly in this story, but it’s also for the sake of her developing past them.

Robin usually sits alone, as sad as that is. It’s whatever; she’s comfortable with it. She can usually get some reading done without any interruptions. But it’s the first day back at school since they took down Vecna, and she’s pleasantly surprised when Nancy sits across from her. They smile at each other, a little stiff without a common goal they’re trying to work for.

“You packed a lunch today,” Nancy states awkwardly.

“Actually Steve made this for me. He always dotes more after, uh… notable events. Sometimes it’s just a particularly bad nightmare. One time Dustin popped a bike tire and Steve bought him a helmet after it was fixed. He gets spikes in paranoia when he’s reminded how easily things can go wrong.”

“That does sound like him. You should try dating him.”

Robin’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Is that a real suggestion?”

“Oh! No, I just mean that he doted on me all the time when he was dating me.”

“Yeah, he’s a real sap.”

There’s a lull in the conversation before Nancy speaks up again. “It is surprising you aren’t a couple. You’re both very attractive.”

“Uh… so? I mean, thank you? I mean… I’m not interested. He’s not my type.”

Nancy hums. “Don’t worry. I understand.”

“You… do?”

“I actually have dated Steve. It probably would have been smarter to be friends first. You’re smart that way.”

“... Thank you?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m sure you’re well aware of the bullet you dodged.”

Robin chuckles uncomfortably. “Maybe? I guess that depends on what exactly you’re referring to.”

“You said yourself he tends to dote. It’s so much more extreme when he’s dating you. I don’t need to use his jacket for the one minute walk from the school to the car. I don’t need him opening doors for me. I can do that myself.”

“Uh-huh…” Robin says, trying to keep her eyes from squinting.

“And he gets so clingy. And emotional. I swear sometimes it was more like he wanted me to be his mom than his girlfriend, which is honestly so privileged. He cut off his friends for me, so it became my job to comfort him about it?”

“He was friends with them for a long time, and he didn’t have anyone else to talk to about it. He’d kind of just cut off all his other friends,” she tries to joke.

“They were assholes,” Nancy says, maintaining seriousness. “He shouldn’t have been so caught up on them.”

“If he didn’t realize just how shitty they were until you, then he must have had a lot of good experiences with them too. A lot to be conflicted about.” She knows this is the case, because Steve’s talked to her about it too.

“He shouldn’t have been friends with them in the first place.”

“So why did you date Steve for so long? Like a year, right? If he was such a shitty boyfriend? You shouldn’t have been dating in the first place?”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Because Steve was popular. Everyone loves him, but the only other person I thought might want me was too preoccupied to look at me. I waited a month with nothing. Can you really blame me for wanting to feel wanted and liked after my best friend died?”

“No, but I can blame you for using that as your excuse while apparently hating anything he did because he wanted and liked you. You literally started your complaints about how doting he can be.”

“What, like you don’t think it’s annoying?” And Robin knows what she means by that, but ‘annoying’ would never be the word she would use to describe it. Just… overwhelming sometimes. But understandable. “Besides, that was more of a pet peeve. You were the one who brought that up. There’s a reason I moved my complaints to him crying over his positive choices.”

And that startles Robin a bit. “He actually cried over it?”

Nancy rolls her eyes. “It was a hyperbolic idiom. But my point remains. Everyone loves him, but he was just upset that those two assholes didn’t anymore.”

“If everyone loves him why did no one turn up?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You say everyone loves him like he could have anyone, but you were all he had after Tommy and Carol immediately turned on him for pushing back one time.”

“You know what, that’s another thing. Why even be upset that someone who was willing to turn on you that quickly, did?”

“Well under that logic Steve should hate you then, shouldn’t he?”

“Oh, is that what this is about? Fine, go shoot your shot. I’m sure he’d love to have you. But don’t come crawling to me when he becomes too much for you.” With that she gets up from the table and sits at a newly vacant table.

Robin’s never ditched school before, but now she wants nothing more than to bike over to family video and hug her favorite person.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

She manages to talk herself out of skipping. She only had 2 and a half hours of school left after lunch, and none of the classes left were her best. Steve would take his break to pick her up anyway, so why put in the effort to bike all of the way there? Still, she has such a hard time concentrating on the last classes.

When she finally gets out, Steve is already parked in his usual spot, and she plops down into the seat.

“Bad day?” Steve asks.

“You know how you were hoping we could have some kind of outing with Nancy and Jonathan before the latter has to go back to California?”

“Yeah?”

“Scratch that. We’re not doing it.”

“What happened?”

She hesitates. She doesn’t want to be the one to tell him, but she also isn’t going to keep this from him. “Nancy told me that she didn’t like dating you, basically.”

“Oh, yeah, I know that.”

“And what, you're just ok with hanging out with her now?”

“I mean, it’s not her fault. She tried to like it. It’s not her fault she didn’t.”

“But it is her fault for not telling you how she felt about it. Let you think everything was fine. That’s leading you on.”

Steve shrugs. “It’s not like she was trying to do that. And it’s not like hanging out with her now would involve any kind of hope that we’d get back together. She didn’t like me as a boyfriend, but we can still be friends.”

“How do you know she likes you as a friend? If she lied to you about liking you as a boyfriend.”

“We should get to work before my break is up,” he says, putting the car into gear.

They don’t talk about it after that. They don’t talk much at all for the rest of the day.

↞⬡+¤+⬡↠

Robin doesn’t eat lunch in the cafeteria after that, not wanting to deal with Nancy again. She doesn’t necessarily know that Nancy would try to start up that conversation again, but even just seeing her in the hall sours her mood a bit, so she doesn’t need to be dealing with that.

So she’s sitting in an empty classroom eating lunch when Nancy finds her.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

Robin glares. “Is this not mutually beneficial?”

Nancy sighs. “Look,” she starts as she sits in the seat beside Robin, “I’m not great at taking criticism. I’m a very defensive person. I’m not good at admitting when I’m wrong, but… I was, so…”

“So…” Robin prompts.

“So you were right. I just… needed to sit on all the points for a while before I could calm down enough to actually consider them.”

“Ok. But what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m… apologizing?”

“For what?”

Nancy rolls her eyes, but answers anyway. “For snapping at you, and not listening to what you were trying to tell me.”

“Ok. So what about Steve?”

“What about him?”

“Are you going to apologize to him too?”

“For fighting with you?” She lets out a confused breathy laugh. “I know you guys are close but is that necessary?”

“Are you serious right now?”

Nancy blinks a few times before jolting a little. “Oh! I was too focused on- yeah, I should. It’s just been so long I wasn’t even thinking about it.”

“Do you want to be friends with Steve?”

“What do you mean?”

“He still respects you, and wants to reconnect after… everything. I don’t want you to let him drag you to hang outs because it’s easier than denying a simple request, then blowing up at him about it later. Again. I don’t know if he’d come back from it a second time.”

“I honestly don’t know,” Nancy sighs. “If I want to be friends with him. I feel like… he carries an association… The whole year I was with him I was in mourning, and we only reconnected recently because of, as you worded it, ‘recent events.’ I just… every time I’ve been with him in one way or another… something bad was going on. I feel like being friends with him would just leave me on edge all the time.”

“Make sure he knows that then.” She picks up her now empty lunch tray and moves to leave the room.

“Wait, Robin!”

“Yeah?” she stops by the doorway.

“Can we still be friends?”

“I don’t know… But we can be more than not friends.”

“Yeah… I’d want to be more than ‘not friends’ with Steve too.”

“Make sure he knows.”

“Yeah…”

We never really see how Nancy responds to being wrong, because she’s never written to be. My headcanon for how she responds to it is that she gets really pissed, but after sitting on it for a long time she has a hard time denying when there’s an imbalance. She’s logical enough to know what’s right, but she’s stubborn, and bias towards her own perspective, so things like this do need to get pointed out to her and it takes her a while to come around.

[mandos-mind-trick]

Kinktober Day 31 - Breathplay

Summary: There’s a man that visits you sometimes in your dreams. It’s always strange, feeling more real than it should. Who are you to complain, though, when he takes you to places you’ve never been before? 

Pairing: Hunter x reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, monster AU, incubus!Hunter, dream sex, breathplay, choking, almost strangulation briefly, unprotected sex, kind of dubious consent since reader thinks it’s a dream but she is still a willing participant, fear play (a little bit I mean, reader is getting choked)

A/N: So here we are. 31 days of kinky smut and absolute filth. Did you survive? I barely did. I want to thank everyone who read my depraved filth and especially those of you who kept coming back for more. It's the first time I've made it through all 31 days ever so I'm a little proud if I do say so myself. This has been fun, but I'm definitely taking a little break now because my brain is tired.

This fic was inspired by “Devil by the Window” by TXT. 

MASTERLIST

(GIF found on Google)

It’s happening again. The dreams always feel so real. Your room always looks the same as it does when you’re awake, nothing out of place, nothing strange about it. You know you’re dreaming because your body moves without you even realizing it, without you even thinking about it. 

I met the devil by the window

Traded my life

Temptation touched my tongue

Spread the wings of desire

He's whispering

"Give up, don't you put up a fight"

Said the devil by the window

"Dream on, dream on, good night!"

You can feel it, the pull towards your window, the desire to open it. You’re moving across your room before you even realize, hands reaching for the locks. You’re sliding it open, cool air biting at your skin. Something brushes past you, rusting your curtains and your pajamas. It's cold against your skin, goosebumps forming as an icy chill runs down your spine. Chilled fingers wrap around your bare arms, a solid form pressing against your back. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” 

You’re splayed out on your back in bed, the window closed. The end of your bed dips and you turn your gaze slowly to find a familiar tattooed face staring at you. It’s the man that visits you often in your dreams. They always feel different, more real when he shows up, like you’re stuck somewhere between being asleep and awake. You’re starting to think that’s what’s happening, since you always feel drained and exhausted when you wake in the morning. Your body always feels heavy and your mind scrambled, almost like you didn’t sleep at all the night before. 

You can’t complain though, not when you know what’s coming. 

The man crawls further up the bed, moving like a predator hunting its prey. You’re very much the prey, unable to even move as he crawls up your body until you’re face to face. He’s a handsome man, long dark hair half pulled back from his face, the left side of which is tattooed like a skull. You know the skeletal pattern continues down the left side of his body, all the way to his toes.

His handsome face pulls into a grin as he stares down at you, that strange buzzing feeling starting to thrum under your skin. You stare into his dark eyes, almost black in the low light from your lamp on your desk across the room. 

“Hello again, sweetheart.” He says, voice low and deep. “I’ve missed you.” 

“You’ve been gone for a while.” The words float from your mouth, your voice light and airy, almost not sounding like your own. 

“I was...taking care of some things.” He says, shifting his weight to lift a hand to your cheek. His touch is warm and real. You can feel the calluses on his fingers, the weight of his touch as he drags his fingers across your skin. “But I’m here now. Did you miss me?” 

“Yes.” You nod, lips brushing his fingers as they ghost over your lips. 

“I knew you would.” He leans down closely, so close you can smell his intoxicating aftershave, and the slight scent of smoke that always seems to linger around him. You always swear you can still smell a hint of it when you wake up. “I’m going to take care of you.” 

His hand grips your jaw, fingers digging into your cheeks as he leans down, brushing his lips against yours. You try to push yourself up closer to him but you can’t move, still pinned to the bed under him. His teeth drag across your bottom lip, scraping against the sensitive skin. He tugs on your jaw, forcing your mouth open before he kisses you, slipping his tongue into your mouth. He tastes like smoke and expensive liquor, a fire igniting in your body, traveling straight between your legs. 

Your thighs clench as heat begins to bloom between them, your thin underwear starting to dampen. Whatever force had been keeping you pinned to the bed suddenly releases you, letting you move. You wrap your arms around his body, hands trailing the expensive dress shirt he’s wearing. He’s always dressed well, expensive and well tailored. 

You do love a man in a suit. 

His lips trail down your neck, hand tilting your head for him to give him more room. Your panties continue to dampen as he licks and sucks on all the right spots, knowing exactly how to get the biggest reaction out of you. He’s always known, even the first time he appeared. Though, you suppose a figure made up by your mind in your dreams would know all the right things to do. 

You can feel him, hard and bulging against your thigh as he presses his body into yours. You slip your hands around to his front, fingers fumbling as you begin undoing the buttons of his shirt. You want to feel his skin against yours. He smirks against your neck, pressing an open mouthed kiss to your skin before he sits up, pulling his shirt off. He’s so perfect, wide shoulders tapering down to a slim waist. His thick, strong thighs bulge under the fabric of his pants, almost as much as his cock does. There’s a thin silver chain around his neck, some sort of coin hanging off of it. You’ve never been able to make out what kind of coin it is, that part of your dream always a bit hazy. 

You pull your own shirt off, tossing it over the edge of your bed. You no longer feel shy baring yourself to him. He is just a dream after all. His hands slide up your sides, the rough pads of his fingers dragging against your skin. He cups your breasts, squeezing them gently. You stare up at his face as he focuses on your breasts, thumbs flicking your nipples. Your lips part in a quiet gasp as he rubs the sensitive nubs, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk as your panties continue to dampen with his teasing touches. 

He slides his hands off your breasts, pressing them into the bed on either side of you. You stare up at him as he hovers over you, his necklace dangling between you. You still can’t make out what it is, your dream blurring whatever is printed on it. 

“I thought we’d try something new this time.” He says, drawing your attention to his face. “Something that will be pleasurable for us both.” 

“What is it?” You ask, your heart thumping in your chest. 

He grins, trailing his fingers down your throat. “You’ll see.” 

His fingers trail down your sternum to your stomach, goosebumps forming on your skin as his light touch tickles you. You try not to squirm as he trails his fingers to the waistband of your pajama pants, slipping them under the band. He tugs them down quickly and easily, tossing them off the end of the bed. Your legs part for him automatically, revealing the damp spot on your underwear. He hums in approval, his hand slipping between your legs to cup your sex through your underwear. 

His touch is hot, fingers pressing into your folds as he rubs you, quiet breathy moans slipping from your lips. He tugs your panties to the side, dragging a finger through your slick folds. You moan as his finger flicks across your clit, thighs clenching as pleasure thrums through you. 

“So sensitive.” He remarks, teasingly circling your clit with his finger. 

You whine, toes curling as he continues to tease your clit. You could cum just like this, his touch intoxicating and driving more and more pleasure through your body. It’s almost as if he has some magic power, some ability to ramp your body up with just a single touch. Though you suppose anything is possible in your dreams. 

You yelp as he delivers a sharp slap to your pussy, the sensitive skin throbbing. 

He drags your underwear down your legs with a chuckle. “Always so responsive.” He says, tossing your underwear onto the floor. “That’s why you’re my favorite.” 

You don’t think much about his words as he undoes the button on his pants, standing off your bed to tug them down his thighs. You watch as his cock is revealed, hard and leaking. Your thighs clench together at the thought of taking him, always a perfect fit, always able to reach spots inside you, you can only dream of. 

He truly is your dream man. 

He crawls back onto the bed, grinning at you as he parts your thighs, slipping between them. You stare up at him, getting lost in his eyes as the buzzing feeling starts pulsing under your skin once more. You feel dizzy and drunk with lust as he drags his cock through your folds, desperate and needy to get him inside you. 

“Please.” You whimper, trying to shift your hips for him. “Please, I need you inside me.” 

He grins wickedly. “Your wish is my command.” 

The broad head of his cock presses into you, burning a bit as he stretches you open. The pain quickly morphs into pleasure as he sinks into you, your body opening for him like it was made for him. Or, perhaps he was made for you. 

His hands slide down your thighs as he seats himself inside you, hips pressed against yours. You feel so full, your entire body burning as you stare up at him. His hands close around your hips, using your body as leverage as he begins to move. He withdraws his cock from you, almost to the tip before he sinks back in until his hips are flush with yours again. 

He begins to pick up the pace, his thrusts becoming shallower as he builds up speed. He leans his body over you, hands pressing into the bed on either side of your head. His thumb presses against your lower lip as your lips part in a moan. His hand drags down your face to your throat, his fingers closing around your neck. Fear and excitement thrum through you as he begins to squeeze, your breath hitching at the sudden pressure. 

Your heart is thrumming in your chest as you stare up at him, his thrusts shaking the bed as he drives his hips into yours. You gasp for breath as he tightens his hold on your throat, air still filling your lungs, but you can feel the constriction in your breaths. Fear continues to thrum below the surface of the pleasure. There’s nothing malicious in his eyes, his gaze pointed and focused. You can’t really die, though, can you? 

After all, this is just a dream. 

He keeps his hand where it is, keeping your breathing restricted as he continues to fuck you. The pleasure continues to build despite the lightheadedness settling in, the fear almost driving the pleasure even further. Weak, squeaky moans slip around around his hand as he relaxes his fingers just slightly, your eyes fluttering as more oxygen floods your brain. Your pussy clenches around him, the feeling almost beyond pleasurable. 

He tightens his grip on your neck once more, cutting off more air. You’re gasping around his hand, the sudden shock of fear slicing through your nervous system as he chokes you. Your hands wrap around his wrist, trying to get him to ease up but he doesn’t move. You writhe under him, your blood pumping in your ears as you suddenly find you can’t breathe at all. 

You flail as he continues to fuck you, eyes pulsing and ears thrumming as pressure fills your head, your airway cut off completely by his hand. You’ve begun to panic, instinct setting in as your body tries to find a way to get any precious oxygen. Your ears are ringing, eyes feeling like they may pop right out of your skull as you fight for breath against the hand constricting your throat. Black spots begin to dance in your vision, the pressure almost too much as you feel unconsciousness beginning to seep in. 

And for just a moment, hardly more than a second you see it. Not a man atop you, but some horrible nightmare with black skin and red eyes and horns. There’s a chain around its neck, like ones you’ve seen people use on large dogs. Gone is the handsome man you’ve come to know and instead some creature has taken his place. Its skin feels rough and leathery as you try to pull his hand away, blunt claws digging into your skin at the back of your neck. Something whips in the air behind it as you struggle, a long tail with a pointed end. 

Suddenly air fills your lungs, your back arching as oxygen floods your brain. Pleasure washes through you as your vision goes dark, your entire body shaking with your release, and the sudden rush of precious air into your lungs and your brain. 

He’s hovering over you, not the creature but the handsome man once again. His hand is stroking your cheek as you pant and cough, chest brushing his from how close he is to you. Your throat feels raw and sore, and you can’t help but wonder if you’re bruised. 

“There she is.” He grins at you, brushing a hand over your sweaty forehead. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Always so good for me. Always so sweet” His tongue darts out, licking the sweat from your top lip. “I’ll see you again soon, sweetheart.” 

You’re dizzy and lightheaded, pussy still fluttering as your eyes slip closed, exhaustion settling in as the room around you fades into nothing once more. 

High, I feel my body drifting into the sky

I won't come down, come down, come down

I'll fly

Weightless, without a worry into the night

He said, "Dream on, dream on, dream on"

Ragu list:

@kaminocasey @rosechi @mxkyrie @bobaprint @star-trekker-0013 @padawancat97 @bamfahsoka @rain-on-kamino @thrawnspetgoose @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @wolffegirlsunite @dukeoftheblackstar @starrylothcat @sev-on-kamino @freesia-writes @anxiouspineapple99 @wings-and-beskar @dystopicjumpsuit @littlemissmanga @madameminor @eris-k

@clio3kantarella @moonlightwarriorqueen @sleepingsun501 @originalcollectionartistry @maddiedrmr @idontgetanysleep @sinfulsalutations @clonemedickix @523rdrebel @deejadabbles @starqueensthings @multi-fan-dom-madness @wizardofrozz @mythical-illustrator @sunshinesdaydream @mooncommlink @lickylickylicky @sweetheartsnips @commanderblood @crosshairlovebot @ghostperson69 @jediknightjana @jedi-hawkins @dalu-grantkylo @hellhound5925

[devldom]

sweet nothing

solomon x gn!reader. 1k words, sfw.

they said the end is coming, everyone's up to something / i find myself running home to your sweet nothings / outside, they're push and shoving, you're in the kitchen humming / all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

a/n: there’s been so much solomon content lately so this is probably nothing new, but i still wanted to write this bc i live for some fluff. set in the nightbringer timeline. inspired by sweet nothing by taylor swift.

The Devildom streets were so silent compared to the sounds that tend to fill the House of Lamentation. You could hear them all in your head: Levi and Mammon’s bickering, Lucifer’s annoyed voice as he lectures his brothers, the sound of Satan flipping book pages, and a million more variations of the brother’s shenanigans that you know like the palm of your hand. But all of those sounds would disappear as soon as you stepped outside to walk home.

Home. You let out a sigh, thinking about how the House of Lamentation isn’t home anymore. It feels weird, so much colder and distant, just like the brothers. You still haven’t adjusted to this new life, to being in the past, to having them all be strangers again. It was exhausting thinking about how all that you had before, all the relationships you’ve forged with everyone, none of that matters here. And you have so much love for them, but they’re not your brothers. Not your demons, nor your angels.

You felt as if you were made of glass, and every day that you had to show up to work as their attendant, it was the little things that scratched your delicate surface—like the way Beel doesn’t know what kind of snacks you like, how you can’t go up the attic anymore, the fact that you can’t stay up playing games with Levi, and the fact that Satan is not giving you very specific book recommendations based on what you like— and you know that, eventually, it will all break you.

But it was in moments like this, in which you felt like you were drowning in your own pitiful thoughts, that thinking about Solomon felt like a breath of fresh air. Going home to him after a long day and seeing that look in his eyes that you know so well, a look that is only for you, fills you with so much warmth, familiarity, and hope. Strangely, Cocytus Hall feels like home.

You walked in, quietly closing the door behind you. The building was completely silent, except for the sound of some steps walking towards the entrance.

"Hey," the white-haired sorcerer greeted you, the smile on his face lighting up the room as soon as he saw you.

"Hey," you couldn’t help but smile, too, as you took off your coat and hung it near the entrance.

"How was your day?" he asked as both of you walked into the living room. You let out a sigh as your tired body rested on the soft sofa. "It was fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at your sigh. Your body language was telling him a whole different story.

“I mean, it was the same as always, I guess. You know how they are,” you explained. Really, nothing major had happened that day, but you were tired. Tired of them not knowing you, of being stuck in an uncertain past, of being around people you love so much but them not loving you back.

Solomon put his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him, encouraging you to place your head against his chest, which you did without a doubt. You sighed again, this time a sigh of relief as you heard his heartbeat. "You know you can always talk to me, right?" He whispered, his fingers running lightly through your hair, his touch ghost-like.

"I know," you whispered and then went silent for a few minutes. It wasn’t an awkward silence; he respected your space and could’ve been silent for hours if that’s what you needed. But you opened your mouth again, your voice barely there. "I don’t know. Lately I’ve been so tired, everything’s too much. This is too much. I’m starting to think maybe I’m just too soft for all of this."

Solomon was the one letting out a sigh this time. "I see," he mumbles against your hair, placing a soft kiss against the top of your head. As the most powerful sorcerer in the three realms, there weren’t many occasions in which he felt powerless, but knowing that you’re so sad, so tired, he felt useless. He wishes he could take those feelings away from you with magic, but all he could do was sit and listen, and make you feel as loved as he could. "It’s okay to be soft, though. I hope you know that. You’re in a complex situation; it’s normal to feel the way you’re feeling, and you should allow yourself to feel these emotions, but I promise you you’re doing fine. If I were thrown into the past and I had to face you, and you did not know who I was, I would feel the same, too."

"You would?" you asked, looking up at him, his gray eyes looking at you warmly.

"I would. I don’t know how I’ve lived so, so many years without you by my side, starlight. My life would never be the same without you." He whispered, running his fingertips down your back. And you could feel it right now—that fuzzy feeling that only appears when you’re with him. You could feel your face warming up at his words, which made him smile.

"I love you, do you know that?" you asked, your lips brushing lightly against the skin of his jawline, making him shiver. You placed a light kiss on that area.

"I know. And I love you just as much." He murmured back at you, moving his face lightly, his lips looking for yours. You couldn’t help but smile as you lean in for a kiss, his lips warm against yours. In that moment, it felt like nothing else mattered except the love and care you have for each other. He sighed, satisfied, as he pulled away from the kiss.

"Aren’t you hungry? It's kind of late, but I can cook something comforting just for you."

"Actually, I had some snacks before getting home," you said, almost out of muscle memory, as you cuddled up against him. "Please, let’s just stay here. I want to be with you."

The sorcerer smiled as he pulled you closer to him, indulging you. When everything around you felt like it was falling apart, it really was those little moments with Solomon that pulled you back together, reminding you that you were capable of everything. He was your rock, keeping you grounded when you needed it most. And you couldn’t be more thankful.