#I know when you apply your own you generally find a rock or something to plant the leg in question on during application

[randomgurustuffs]

what would you do if your lady friend asked for some help applying sunscreen to her legs while you two were fishing? :3

If she was fine with it, I'd be fine with it and would comply. I'd do my best to provide an even coat in a reasonable amount of time. After all, I wouldn't want my gal getting sunburned and we gotta get to fishin'. Wonder what SPF she'd go for?

[derinwrites]

Plotting a story -- inductive and deductive plotting

When it comes to plotting habits in writing fiction, there’s a scale. Most people label the ends of this scale ‘gardener’ and ‘architect’, although the terms ‘plotter’ and ‘pantser’ are also in use. If you’re a writer, you probably know this scale, but I’ll briefly explain for those who haven’t and then get into my model.

An architect, or plotter, is a writer who thrives with a lot of planning. Like an architect planning a house, they assess what story they’re telling in advance and what needs to happen to tell it. They assess the materials, plan and measure the acts (if they’re using an act structure), decide on the climax and how the characters will develop and map those onto the plan. Then, with a plan, they write.

A gardener, or pantser, by contrast, writes ‘by the seat of their pants’. Pantsers may or may not know where their story is going in broad terms, but they certainly don’t know in any detail beyond ‘this’ll be a cool scene if I can get it there’. To these people, writing is less like architecture and more like gardening – you can build your beds and plant your seeds, but a whole lot of what’s going to happen next depends on how the plants grow, and all you can do is keep an eye on them and prune or train them as necessary. You can dream about what your garden will look like in the spring, but you won’t know until you get there.

Plotters and pantsers are not two distinct categories of writers, but ends on a scale. The writer who ad libs sentence by sentence with no goal at all is extremely rare, as is the writer who starts from an overall view of the plot and cuts it down and down until they’re planning on the sentence level. Most writers tend towards one end of the scale to a greater or lesser degree, but very few write completely using one method and none of the other.

The plotter/pantser scale is one that many writers find incredibly useful to help them understand their own process. By knowing where you are on this scale, you can better understand how you write and better understand how the habits and advice of other writers may or may not be useful to you. (A pantser trying to meticulously plot their story in advance following some formula they found in a writing advice book is wasting their time.) However, this model has little utility beyond that, which is why I find it more useful to address the phenomenon not as a scale, but as the manifestation of two separate skills, that I like to call deductive and inductive plotting.

In logic, deductive reasoning is when you take broad rules or generalities and apply them to specific circumstances to predict things – you start big and go little. “Things fall when you drop them, therefore if I drop this rock it will fall” is deduction. Inductive reasoning is the opposite – you start with small observations and build them into a pattern to predict something bigger. “I dropped seventeen objects and they all fell; therefore, perhaps when you drop things, they fall” is induction. (There’s also abductive reasoning, but that doesn’t fit into our plotting skill metaphor.)

In my experience, these skills match to the habits of plotters and pantsers. Plotters, or architects, assemble a big picture of the story they want and then deduce their individual scenes and fill in the lines to map to their overall general picture. They are deductive plotters. If you ask a deductive plotter to start writing without an outline, they become lost and their output seems directionless and erratic – how can they know what to write if they don’t have an outline to break things down from? Deductive plotters tend to think of stories in terms of overall structures and themes that can be broken down into characters and events and put on the page.

Pantsers, or gardeners, are the opposite. They’re if-then writers, and build the plot upwards from the individual actions of their characters and create the story from the sum total of those interactions. They are inductive plotters. Brandon Sanderson often describes a pantser’s first draft as just a really thorough outline, and he’s not wrong; a pantser needs the scene-by-scene minutae to know what happens next. How are they supposed to build an outline if they don’t know what happens next? If you ask an inductive plotter to build and follow a thorough outline, their writing often comes out as wooden and arbitrary as they have to force the actions of the characters between the restrictive rails of predetermined plot. Inductive potters tend to think of stories in terms of characters and discrete events that build up into something bigger with a consistent mood or theme. Inductive plotters sometimes complain of their characters having a life of their own and defying the plot – this is the effect of their moment-by-moment if-then reasoning of the character’s next action not matching their initial predictions, and surprising them.

Again, the vast majority of writers have some rudimentary skill in both inductive and deductive plotting. A strong deductive plotter (architect) can usually sit down and infer line-by-line a scene that their outline lists as “the three characters meet in the coffee shop and share evidence, Rosemary sees Harold’s notes and realises where the gun went.” Similarly, a strong inductive plotter (gardener) usually has some idea of where their story is headed next even if they don’t know how long it’ll take to get there or what complications will pop up in the meantime. But I’ve never met a writer who is equally strong in both inductive and deductive plotting; most writers specialise heavily in one, and tend towards one end of the scale. I think this is because there’s such a huge overlap in utility; when we start learning to write, we start plotting in whatever way is easiest for us, and train that specific method over decades. There’s little reason to invest even more decades into getting just as good with the other method when your favoured method already achieves everything you want.

I find that viewing this scale as the result of two skills, inductive and deductive plotting, can be very helpful in understanding specifically how we write. Thinking of myself as a heavily inductive plotter with rudimentary deductive plotting skills has really helped me understand why some methods of writing work for me and others don’t, as well as help nail down specific weaknesses in my writing. I also find it useful to think of writing styles and strategies not as some unchangeable characteristic we were born with (as the plotter/pantser scale is frequently envisioned), but as skills that can be built. You don’t write the way you write because you happen to be a plotter or pantser – you write the way you write because that’s what you learned to do! And it was hard! And you did it! Be proud of your skill!

[heretherebeturtles-comic]

Hello! Many people have said this but ill say it too, I LOVE YOUR COMIC SO MUCH ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

I really wanted to ask you about how you do the backgrounds? (Something i struggle with) whats the process? Like from start to finish, also, to do the rise backgrounds do you use reference from the show and generally real photo of ny? Or do you come up with them? And last question- The shadow and light on the background- Like HOW

i know it’s a lot of questions but i’m just so curious qwq and wanna learn to be better, thank you again in case you read this and respond, in case you don’t, i hope you have a nice day and a wonderful life uwu keep up the great work! (≧◡≦) ♡

Backgrounds are a really broad subject and I'm always a little overwhelmed when asked this question. Just like drawing the human body, backgrounds take time, repetition, and practice!

My answer got a bit long, so it's going under a read more :) but if you digest info better in video format I found this on youtube

It pretty much goes over everything I wanted to say, but in a much better way. I wish I had found it before writing all this out lol

ok, first of all, I'm not a teacher nor was I built to be one of those cool helpful art tutorial people who do a full coloured tutorial filled with illustrations. This is just going to be a messy "how I do backgrounds / environment layouts from start to finish." kinda thing.

... lets start with a sight tangent.

Sketch from Life!!!

If you want to get better at backgrounds I recommend doing some sketching out in the real world!

When I was first getting into doing backgrounds I went to cafes and parks to just sketch the buildings and objects. Sketch rocks, flowers, clumps of grass, garbage cans, bottles, tables, street signs, etc. If you are drawing a tree observe how the trunks twist, how the bark flows, or how the leaves are bunched.

If you can't leave the house the same still applies! Sketch the interiors of your house, the walls, or common objects like chairs and bookshelves. How are objects stacked? items on the floor?

If you aren't comfortable with drawing outside or in public you can take some photos to draw from! They are good for practice and you can use them again as references later. Alternatively you can find pictures online of buildings and objects to sketch as practice.

All spaces have objects in them, it becomes easier to draw those kinds of spaces when you already have spent time observing and sketching them.

ALSO! They don't have to be good sketches! It's just to build out your mental catalogue and strengthen your perception of perspective.

now the actual thing...

BACKGROUNDS

(the pictures used for this are my own. I dug them out of my 2022 folder)

Backgrounds have slightly different rules based on what you are making them for. Videogame Environment Concept Art vs Animation Layouts vs Comic Backgrounds vs Illustration backgrounds.

They all follow the same basics, which I will go over here, but the intention and function of those designs are going to be different. It's all about how you set up the scene and what it's purpose is!

Brainstorming and Thumbnailing

I like to think about a location as though it is a character. An abandoned old house with creaky sagging floorboards is very different from a futuristic space ship with sharp metal floor panels. A gas station has a very different feeling from a library.

I usually start by asking what is this location's story? Why was it built and for what purpose? What kinds of things does this room need to fulfill that purpose? You don’t need solid answers, but its good to be thinking about it while you are working.

Next, sketch some ideas for how this place is going to look. For me, this usually involves drawing the idea from multiple angles and then making lists & small sketches of the objects I think should be filling the space.

Example: The main character of my original work is a Wanderer. They collect a lot of things on their travels, but those items have to be small enough to be easily carried in a backpack. I wanted his room to be in the corner of an attic, walled off by curtains, and filled with trinkets. You can see some of my brainstorming above.

References

I only look for references after I've done some sketching and planning; this is to solidify my idea first so that I don't accidentally copy anyone else's work. I will make a moodboard with pictures of lighting, colours, items, rooms with specific ceiling beams, old chairs, etc. basically whatever I feel fits the vibe.

Honestly, I don't use references as much as I should. For ROTTMNT fanart I look at backgrounds and screenshots from the series to study the style. I also reference actual photos of NYC to get a feel for how Rise condenses the visual information.

In general, it's good to have references of real life objects/locations, because there are so many details like cracks in pavement, stickers on polls, crowning on buildings, fancy fencing, weird chair legs, etc. that you might not think of. It's the imperfect details that can make a location feel more alive.

Perspective

Once you have your chosen sketch we move to.... the infamous perspective boxes. Doing backgrounds is just learning to be comfortable drawing So Many boxes and carving items out of them.

Many better artists than myself have made videos on perspective, vanishing points, and all the technical bits. Videos like THIS ONE and THIS ONE are helpful (this post is great too!!). There are probably a lot of classes to be found on Skillshare or Schoolism. I learned a lot of this in my college art course, so I can't give you a specific video which helped me.

You can get by and be a good artist without learning this stuff. There are quite a few successful artists who have admitted they never bothered to learn perspective (one of these people even made a whole graphic novel series).

I personally avoided properly learning this stuff until I was in my 20s because I thought it would be boring and difficult to do. tbh I really wish I had learned it earlier because it's so much fun to make those silly little boxes imo. It looks scary and complicated but, just like drawing humans, it just takes time, repetition, and practice to develop the knowledge and skills.

Cleanup

You have your boxes and lines! Cool! Now to make a scene out of it. Fill in the details, get everything placed were you want it! Generally, the lines of each item will point back towards the horizon line, but they can have different perspective points.

Generally you would want to clean it up and get your room completely sketched before doing the lineart. I tend to combine the steps (not recommended)

Lineart

I've mentioned how I do this before. Closer objects have thicker lines and more detailed inside. Further objects have thinner lines and less detail. I didn't quite achieve that balance with the image below, but it's close enough.

Colours and Shading will have to be a separate post. In the meantime, I highly recommend the book "Color and Light" by James Gurney. I used to borrow it from my local library and a good chunk of my knowledge was learned from it :)

[dilfhos]

sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.

i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).

but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.

firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)

not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)

but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)

so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!

but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.

but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)

but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.

yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)

you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)

also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.

or doing less to achieve the same result.

not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.

at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.

Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!

you’re getting fucked after all!!

because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.

“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.

i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵

God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.

and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.

i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!

the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?

unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.

but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.

so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.

POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.

so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)

it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.

lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )

its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.

TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )

[safety-pin-punk]

hi, so I’m a teen who’s starting to get into punk culture bc a while ago I was researching punk culture for an oc I was making (cuz I wanted it to be accurate) and I realized ‘oh shit wait this is really cool and aligns with my views and stuff and the music is really good too’ and i just have a couple questions about it:

What are some good punk rock bands you would recommend? (and also are there any problematic ones I should know of so I can avoid them)

2. With lace code, does combining colors change the meaning/add other symbolism (other than black and white/checkerboard for racial unity)? Like if I were to put purple laces on one shoe (LGBTQ+ pride) and green on the other (anti-racist) would that change the symbolism at all? Also does the way you lace the boots change it bc I’ve heard lace code only applies when they’re ladder laced but I haven’t had a chance to look into that more so idk

3. Are there any problematic movements/groups within the punk community that I should be aware of?

4. anything else i should know/general tips and advice for baby punks?

also I saw on your blog that it’s ur birthday so happy bday! :D

0. Thank you for the birthday wishes!!!

1. That is a *whole* question in and of itself that really deserves its own post. But the short answer is that it really depends on your own personal taste. There are a lot of subgenres of punk rock too. (This site is actually a pretty good map of the genres and how things connect)

But as far as bands I recommend: Ramones, the offspring, sum 41, greenday, rancid, afi, linkin park, misfits, the cure, magnolia park, dopamine, teenage bottlerocket, anti-flag, pennywise, the living end, street dogs, the smashing pumpkins, slapstick, left alone, dog park dissidents, the virus, hotel security

That should give you a decent mix of different sounds to check out

And in regard to problematic bands, to be honest, I try to stay away from any news like that. Sooo, Im not your best resource there. If I like the music, then I like the music. But yeah, due to the trauma of *life* thats just not my fight, ya know?

2. Gonna direct you to *this* post for lace code. But, yes it only applies to ladder laced combat boots. And a LOT of lace code rules are very subjective to your area too. (Example: I’ve never seen the black/white checkered thing.) but having different colors on either side shouldn’t be a problem

3. Every group is going to have either problematic people or some problematic ideas floating around. Thats why it’s important to be able to think critically about things, people, and ideas so that you can form your own opinions. Though, I will say that there is a reason why ‘nazi punks fuck off’ is a commonly see phrase. Punk groups are great! But it’s important to educate yourself of the signs to know when something is *not great*

4. Gonna direct you to *this* post. Its my big masterlist that sometimes gets updated lol. You can find the link to it in my pinned post as well

[smile-files]

rant alert!!!!!!!!!!!

something that's been really bothering me lately is how capitalism is hardcore exploiting our generation's desire to explore/create identity

like aesthetic culture is nice on paper but in practice it just means buying a butt load of stuff that we don't need. like, say i like cottagecore, and by extension the strawberry shortcake franchise. it isn't enough for me to just say i like them aesthetically, or whatever -- i have to buy clothes and merchandise or what have you for that part of my identity to feel tangible. i need to be able to embody this aesthetic in every part of my being for it to feel real

and i've interacted with enough brand instagram accounts (such as the strawberry shortcake instagram) to know that companies are all over creating aesthetic, nostalgic nonsense to sell to us, knowing we'll buy anything cutesy that panders to us and the things we like. and we can't help but feed into it. and they act all relatable and gen-z-core too which doesn't help

consumerism drives me nuts, all the more so because i actively partake in it. i love collecting stuff, especially stuffed animals, but adding to the collection with new items involves spending money on a bunch of plastic and polyester things that take up space and will end up in a landfill someday. like, sure, i like them, and people know for sure that i love stuffed animals when they know i have over 100 of them and keep buying them, but if i'm being completely honest i don't get as much out of them as i'd like to think i do. i'm considering making a photo/drawing catalog of all of the plushies i have now and donating the ones who'd do better in a different home! the same applies to all of the toys i have as well

when i was little i used to collect rocks and sticks and pine cones... things in nature that are just as cool and give me just as much joy as my stuffed animals and toys but a) don't take up a huge amount of space b) don't cost money c) don't hurt the environment and d) don't feed into the capitalist, consumerist black hole that's quickly eating us all

honestly... and this might be a hot take... but the whole concept of "aesthetics" that's been on the internet in recent years that has compelled ourselves to shape our wardrobes and possessions in favor of a pretty, inhuman ideal that supposedly affirms our identities is likely just a project by Big Consumerism to get us to buy more stuff that we think makes us feel more like ourselves. like yeah we all deserve to have our own style and our own tastes but that should not necessitate buying 15 billion new outfits from your local target to prove to yourself or anyone else that it's your style and tastes. buying a dropshipped mushroom nightlight off of amazon does not make you any more of a cottagecore girly than someone who doesn't. we shouldn't all be trying to fool each other over instagram reels that we all perfectly fit this aesthetic with our cool clothes and knickknacks and random decorations and be constantly jealous of each other

and it all just feeds into fast fashion and non-sustainably-made products and all that... like if companies know we'd buy anything that fits our aesthetic they'll throw out any notion of making lasting goods that aren't made of plastic and garbage and the blood of innocent baby animals or whatever. we keep eating it up. and we keep buying more and more of it to create an every-expanding hoard of objects that supposedly reflect every facet of our soul

(and i know it's the companies' fault at the end of the day! but i do think we, as individuals, have to think about how we happily succumb to it!)

i'm starting to think that my happiest life would be one lived with a small handful of cool clothes (as it is, most of the clothes i find cool are old ones my aunt sends me or ones i thrift), a small handful of stuffed animals i have a genuine love for (e.g. barry, any homemade plushie), and a gargantuan collection of nature stuff like rocks and sticks and pine cones. i can't help wanting to collect -- i'm like a dragon! but what i can help is what i choose to collect, what system i choose to feed into. i have a huge love for stuffed animals, but if anything, i'm doing a disservice to them and my appreciation for them by repeatedly buying new, low quality ones which i ultimately don't care much about -- and having fewer of them by no means diminishes how much they mean to me. one should not judge a fan by the amount of merchandise they've bought, after all

we are trying to live vicariously through our stuff, which isn't surprising given the hellish socioeconomic landscape, but it only makes us languish and look at devices all day and buy useless stuff and not try to make our lives actually good. this is what capitalism wants!!! augh!!!!

also... folks can't buy sustainable stuff because it often costs more and is less widely sold. but whose fault is that? capitalism!!!!! they could make wool cheaper than polyester for all they cared!!!!!!! they could get rid of money altogether!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't really know what i want to say in all of this... but i care about nature and i care about being genuinely happy and digging my own grave in an aesthetic landfill does nothing for that

[owl-with-a-pen]

Been getting back into Supergirl recently, which means I’ve been getting back into Brainia, which means I’ve been thinking more about my Naltorian headcanons.

This is one I’ve just kind of had in the back of my head for a while. It’s not really a mannerism as much as it’s just me rocking a sort of soulmate-adjacent concept because I love those.

Naltorians are a species that mates for life in a very literal sense. They can only form romantic bonds one time in their life. They can bond to multiple partners in the case of polyamory, but in cases like this the entire polycule has to meet each other before any romantic bonding takes place and all bonds will form at the same time. Once it’s done, it’s done. There will be no more partners, ever.

Naltorians tend to be very protective of their partners and proactive in upkeeping and maintaining their relationships, as they know there won’t be another chance if they lose this one. Generally, they don’t have to worry about breakups outside of extreme circumstances. They don’t ever want to be without their partners, so it’s very rare for a Naltorian to voluntarily end a relationship.

When a Naltorian bonds to a member of another species, though, that can get a little messy. Imagine Nia, knowing full well that Brainy is her one and only even in the earliest stages, dealing with that breakup. Imagine Brainy, being very aware of how Naltorian romantic bonds work, dying of guilt that entire time because he knows exactly what he’s doing to her. Imagine the added dismay when Brainy has to go off to the future without her, because they both know she is never going to be able to move on or find someone else.

On a less angsty note, I don’t know exactly how voluntary the bonding itself is, but a Naltorian will always bond to someone who is compatible and makes them feel safe and valued. Brainy would be very honored to know that not only does he meet the criteria, but he does so more than anyone else in the world. He would treasure that.

I also just think it’s a little fun to have Brainy very familiar with the motions of a romantic relationship but not at all with true emotional intimacy with a person he loves, while Nia is the exact opposite. She knows a lot about the closeness the bond entails and the commitment it requires, but maybe not so much about the little things in a relationship because she’s never been in one before. Getting together is a learning curve for both of them.

Ohhh I like this, and also yes that did kill me with the angst factor because of my god Brainy realising what he'd be putting Nia through during the break-up is just devastating to think about. Even more-so when he leaves for the future. Honestly, that being the reason he comes back would definitely be a better explanation than what we got. 😅

But I kinda want to add my own spin on this idea if you'll allow me. Because what if it's a little different for the Dreamer of a family? Nia's mother had a dream of where she had to go to find her husband, so what if that's the standard for finding your soulmate if you have the Sight? What if Nia didn't think it would apply to her, she's trying to convince herself she won't get the Sight and in doing so she rejects a lot of Naltorian customs along the way. Maybe she doesn't even think the whole soulmate thing applies to her either as she's half human, so she does dabble in the dating world but never falls for anyone, or it never feels just right.

And then maybe one day she wakes from a dream that she plays off as nothing, just like any other visions she's had along the way. She pushes it back, so far that when she first sees Brainy it doesn't even register fully that he seems familiar to her somehow, but she does know that this feels different. That something here is worth pursuing, worth fighting for.

Maybe she has the dream again a couple of nights later and it clicks into place, but because she's still trying to avoid her powers it takes her a lot longer to come to terms with what it truly means.

I wonder if you could apply Brainy's foreknowledge of Naltorian customs from Nura to this equation as well. He's so cagey about starting a relationship with her in season 4, but imagine if it was because he was aware of the fact that his residency in that time was only temporary and as much as he was beginning to feel for her, he didn't want to cement himself as her one love if he knew he couldn't be with her forever.

I really like your idea that Nia and Brainy are coming at the relationship from different angles, but also maybe they're actually more similar than they realise. They've both tried their hand at relationships, even if it only ever went as far as physical and never emotional, and so they're both on this new territory where they suddenly have to navigate the very raw feelings they're suddenly experiencing for one another. I also love your idea that Nia at least knows how to deal with that from what she's heard of Naltorian customs and soulmates in the past, but Brainy's got absolutely no frame of reference. Having them learn and work on it all together just sounds so so cute and is also a great doorway for comedy.

Aaah thanks for sharing as always, come join me in jumping headfirst back into that Supergirl pool. 😂

[theoryofthemultiverse]

Tighnari NSFW Alphabet 🔥

I cannot deny that I have searched for this and not came across anything, so I thought okay, I shall make what I need. And I believed I might not be the only one that needs this, so here you go!

Nsfw under the cut~

A - Aftercare

This man is amazing at aftercare.

If you tell him whatever it is that you need afterwards, then he will make sure to get it, whether that's cuddles, a snack or pretty much everything. He also knows what's up with your body, so he also knows if anything is wrong. After all, he is a doctor, what did y'all expect.

B - Body part

Your hands.

He is drawn to them on a daily basis. Everything you do with them throughout the day has him thinking on what they would look like while grabbing the sheets.

C - Cum

He simply loves to cum inside you.

That feeling of your warm walls around him just always gets him the best. Nonetheless, if you don't want him to come inside you, then he is also very satisfied with seeing it on your stomach.

D - Dominance

He is a switch.

Might have a more dominant side, but something inside me simply cannot let go of the image of him being a sub, so I think it highly depends on his partner.

E - Experience

He might be a little experienced.

Since always having a job of a scientist/forest watcher is hard, one needs distraction at some point. Yet, I don't think he is all too interested in pursuing to get experience with a partner but more try out things on his own, so he knows what he likes very well. After all, if he already knows what he likes, he has more time to learn what you like too.

F - Favorite Toy

Could actually be his tail.

At least to rile you up with it. For example, when walking around you or hoovering over you, he would use his tail to brush along on your inner thigh or up your leg. It is a soft touch that would make you all the weaker for him, and in the heat of the moment it would feel like a feather grazing your skin.

G - Get into

He could get into role-playing, if you were open for it too.

To be his patient or student? Not far-fetched.

H - Hair

Well groomed and well shaven.

He even applies an own product to his tail alone, so I think we can imagine the rest.

I - Intimacy

He is going to let you pet his ears like ahhhh.

I imagine them to be so soft :(

Let's be real, that's the highest form of intimacy there is with this man.

J - jerk off

Sometimes he would,

especially around the times when he is at home, either before heading out again for the night or being done after a long day. Also likes to experiment on how to make it feel the most enjoyable to him when he is on his own.

K - Kinks

Let's not pretend we all didn't wait for this to come up… so, did I mention

breeding?

He just needs to think about how much he would like to come inside you and make you carry his babies, to get him rock hard.

L - Location

All in all, he prefers the bedroom.

Simply because it is the most cozy and most convenient.

However, occasionally he would take you on the desk in his office room at home, or at his forest watcher room when knowing that no soul is around to find you two.

M - Make out

He would definitely take his time with you,

since he thinks of sex in general as an action of intimacy, that he wouldn't like to share with someone he just met. Therefore, he really appreciates you and wants to show you how special you are to him by lovingly starting to make out for it to become spicier in the process.

N - No

We know him, as a researcher he would be willing to try everything once.

However, he is not so fond of getting his tail touched at first. After some time he would probably let you do it and maybe also like it. But at the start, he would keep it more to himself, or only touch you with it when he wants to.

O - Oral

He likes both, giving and receiving.

When giving, though, it’s always a great pleasure. His head between your thighs and mouth on your sensitive folds, his ears softly brushing against the inside of your thighs like a feather, doesn’t help to keep them from going completely jelly.

P - Positions

Over the table

Simply too easy when you come in to his office while he is writing down the latest Mushroom experiments, and he's desperate to get his mind to something more pleasant.

You sitting on him

Simply too easy when you're already sitting on his lap. Just discard the clothes and ready you go.

Missionary

He just loves to see your face. He also sees your expressions as a great help to show him when you like something and when you don't.

Or from behind

Because it needs to be mentioned, his tail has the most freedom, and he can reach all your sweet spots in even better angles.

Q - Quickie

He would be in for them from time to time, yet he is not the biggest fan of them since he likes to take his time with you.

Therefore, he would probably only resort to measures like that if one, or both, of you is so desperately horny that they couldn't focus on the thing you would need to do.

R - Risks

He wouldn't want to risk you two getting caught,

since he simply wants to have you all to himself. He also wouldn't want to disturb others with being too loud, since he is rather considerate.

S - Stamina

His stamina is awfully good.

After all, running around in the forest every day is a task one needs a good physique for.

T - Turn on

When you sit on his lap.

Oh, the thought of being so close to you, perfectly sitting on him to cover up his boner should it decide to come up too. Simply the whole situation, so many opportunities to make it dirty.

U - Unfair

He likes to tease you from time to time.

And that everywhere. So while he might not be a fan of having sex in spaces where you two could get caught, he likes already getting you in the mood for what comes when you two are alone again.

V - Volume

He is quieter when it comes to moans.

Nonetheless, when it comes to dirty talk, he is quite sensual and vocal with it.

W - Wildcard

Can't help but like experimenting.

He is a scientist after all, so exploring doesn't need to be kept outside the bedroom but can instead become a part of that.

Thus, he loves to try different things for spicy times.

That ranges everywhere from trying new things, such as new locations, to positions, to small touches in search of something new that you two might get to like.

X - x-ray

So after some good long research I’d suggest that he is:

around 6 inches (ca. 15 cm) when soft and reaching around 7 inches (17.78 cm) when hard

Y - Yearning

His sex drive is not unbelievably high.

Quite in a normal range, and could probably live with sex around once a week, maybe occasionally more.

However, that game changes a little between January and February. If you know, you know.

Z - Zzz

After making sure you got everything you need and everything is cleaned up again he would sink into the sheets and probably would fall asleep quite fast since I believe those cuddle hormones would hit him hard

[nvrcmplt]

"Beorn, here -"

Before the giant has a moment to say anything, Kaveh has already taken a hold of one of his hands and put into his own two. Plastered against bare skin is an ointment, a bit tangy and rich in fragrance, its greenish hue being massaged into the other's knuckles and fingers.

"You do such backbreaking work for me, and I couldn't stop noticing that you work a lot with your hands. This is an ointment I got from my friend who happens to a forest ranger. He is exceptionally skilled with these sort of things - I, on the other hand, only know how to apply them - and therefore I'd like you have some. It should make your fingers less stiff and skin a little softer without breaking down any resistance." Applying some more, he'd focus intensely between Beorn's fingers, making sure to hit any possible knots that might have occurred from the work. "Working out in the Sumeru sun can be quite the hassle, and while I am somewhat used to it, this ointment also helps cooling down your skin a little bit."

There, he added under his breath; "... now give me your other hand, please."

The call of his name had his attention though the action of his hand being taken rather swiftly before he could even use it to leverage his weight to face his Boss - he was at a loss. Thankfully, his core was a mountain of muscle and keeping upon upright was easy - enough to adjust a knee between them to be able to balance on it much better. He still wasn't all that used to sitting on the floor so much, or with cushions or just low chairs in general, but it was nice after a hard day. Comfort in the small things which was also whatever this was.

Oil? It didn't feel that slippery, but it was nice. Cooling as spoken of - strange but not enough to make him wipe it off. Watching in fact in silence like a child that knew better than to over speak their elder or try and deny the care. Beorn would only stare upon their hands, Kaveh was so much smaller than himself in any ways. It was rather comical, but the sight of those fingers between his own knuckles searching for every crack, dry patch, cuts even - to be covered in the ointment. He felt a flutter of something - not an emotional desire to make this man his wife or anything like that but a blossoming of deeper friendship?

"You are a worry wart type, hm?" Though he didn't stop himself from moving his free hand over to the others needs. Looking upon the slick skin that was rather nice in scent now. He did resist upon licking it, a lesson he's learnt from before upon licking soap bubbles. He's never felt his inside hate him more than that moment. "This friend of yours, he has a talent to find something that doesn't reverse the leathering of a hard-working hand. Must have taken him years to master it." Beorn knew of a few ointments but nothing as special as this. Honestly, not that he thought about it - it was mostly just melted animal fat and the occasional flower.

"This place's weather is very different to my homelands, that is more akin to the Dragonspine of Teyvat. Snow and rock, sun is constant but nothing with this heat. I didn't really notice my skin burning until you pointed it out though." Something to do with his pain tolerance, when skin can melt from frost burn, sun burn didn't feel any different in his opinion. "Ah - on that note, does your friend have an ointment for the bites of bugs? I've noticed broken skin on his ribs lately." Though he wasn't sure if it itched or not. "You seem to lack any of them, so I was curious do you have a method to stop it?"

"Ah, also thank you for the treatment. My hands feel better."

[deancodedinthewater]

Pilot Part 2

As Dean went to pay for their fuel and get food, Sam rifled through the box of tapes. It was all classic rock. Sam shook his head. Dean never changed.

“Hey!” Dean called and Sam looked up at him. “You want breakfast?” Sam eyed the pile of food and was pleasantly surprised to see it wasn’t all junk.

“What’s got you grabbing apples with your M and Ms?”

“Doctor’s orders,” Dean said, shrugging as he dropped the food in the middle of the bench seat. “And Bobby said he’d shoot me if I didn’t take care of myself better than he does.”

Sam laughed and grabbed an apple. “So how’d you pay for all this?” he asked, waving the apple vaguely. “You and Dad still running credit card scams?”

“Yeah, well,” Dean said as he made his way to the back of the car. He pulled the nozzle out and shoved it back on the pump. “Hunting isn’t exactly a pro ball career.” He sat himself in the driver’s seat and grinned at Sam. “Besides, all we do is apply. It’s not our fault that they send us the cards.”

“Yeah?” Sam scoffed, swinging himself into the car properly. “And what names did you write on the application this time?” He pulled his door shut just as Dean pulled his own.

“Uh, Burt Arfman,” Dean said, grabbing a soda and twisting the cap off. “And his son Hector. Scored two cards out of the deal.”

“That sounds about right.” Sam rummaged through the box of tapes in his lap again and couldn’t help but laugh. “I swear, man, you've gotta update your cassette tape collection.”

“Why?”

“Well, for one, they're cassette tapes. And two.” Sam held up a tape. “Black Sabbath?” He held up another. “Motorhead?” And a third. “Metallica?” Dean yanked the Metallica tape from him. “It's the greatest hits of mullet rock.”

“Well, house rules, Sammy,” Dean said as he stuck the Metallica tape in the deck and threw the case back in the box. “Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.” 

"You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old," Sam said as Metallica began blaring from the speakers. "It's Sam, okay?"

Dean grinned at his brother as he turned the music up. "Sorry, I can't hear you, the music's too loud." He hit the gas and started on their way to Jericho.

-

A while later they passed a sign that read 'JERICHO 7'. In the time they had been driving Sam had made several phone calls and had forced Dean to turn his music off. Dean had made a joke about that being transphobic. Sam hadn't found it funny.

"Thank you," Sam said before flipping his phone crossed. He sighed and leant back in his seat. "All right. So, there's no one matching Dad at the hospital or morgue." He shrugged as he glanced over at Dean. "So that's something, I guess."

Dean glanced at Sam and nodded. When he turned back to the road he spotted the flashing lights of two police cars at a bridge. "Check it out," He said as he pointed out the milling officers. Sam tucked his phone away and leant forward for a closer look.

Just before the bridge, Dean pulled over and flicked the engine off. He pulled out a box from the glove compartment and opened it. Sam glared at him as he flicked through his and Dad's fake IDs. Dean grabbed one and flashed a winning smile at Sam.

"Let's go," he said, opening the door. Reluctantly, Sam followed.

"You guys find anything?" The lead Deputy yelled over the side of the bridge as they approached.

"No! Nothing!" Came the reply.

The lead Deputy turned back to the car and asked the Deputy standing at the driver's side the same question.

"No sign of struggle, no footprints, no fingerprints. Spotless," said the Deputy. "It's almost too clean."

Dean kept walking, acting as though he belonged there and hoping Sam was doing the same. He glanced around the scene and took note of how many people were present.

"So, this kid Troy," said the lead. "He's dating your daughter, isn't he?"

"Yeah." Dean rolled his eyes. Small town cops. Just small towns in general. All gossip. 

"How's Amy doing?"

"She's putting up missing posters downtown." 

Casually sidling up beside the two deputies Dean cut into the conversation. “You fellas had another one like this just last month, didn't you?”

The Lead Deputy looked him up and down and Dean reciprocated with a once over of his own. “And who are you?” the deputy asked.

Resisting the urge to grin, Dean flashed his badge. “Federal marshals,” he said, doing his best to keep his tone professional.

“Aren’t you a little young to be Federal Marshals?”

Laughing, Dean said, “Thanks, that's awfully kind of you.” And walked up to the car.

“You did have another one just like this,” Dean said, inspecting the car as he walked around the two deputies. “Correct?”

“Yeah, that's right. About a mile up the road.” He indicated the way with a nod of his head as he tracked Dean’s movements. “There've been others before that.”

“So, this victim,” Sam said, drawing the deputies eyes away from Dean for a moment. “You knew him?”

“Town like this,” The deputy said, nodding. “Everybody knows everybody.”

Circling around the car, Dean came back to the deputies and just about stopped himself from sending a flirtatious wink at the one that hadn’t been talking so much. “Any connection between the victims, besides that they're all men?”

“No. Not so far as we can tell.” The Deputy shifted until he could look at both of them at once. Dean reevaluated his view of the guy. He was careful.

“So what's the theory?” Sam asked, walking to Dean.

“Honestly,” the deputy admitted, shrugging. “We don't know. Serial murder? Kidnapping ring? So far we have no real leads.”

Dean nodded. “Well, that is exactly the kind of crack police work I'd expect out of you guys,” he said, resisting the urge to just laugh out right. Nevermind reevaluating this guy. He was dumb.

Sam stomped on his foot. Dean glared at him.

“Thank you for your time,” Sam said, walking away. “Gentlemen.”

Not caring that the deputies were still watching them, Dean smacked Sam on the back of the head.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Why'd you have to step on my foot?” Dean complained.

“Why do you have to talk to the police like that?”

Dean scowled at him and moved to be in front. He forced Sam to stop. “Come on. They don't really know what's going on,” He said, gesturing back at the cops. Who were mingling about. “We're all alone on this. I mean, if we're going to find Dad we've got to get to the bottom of this thing ourselves.”

Sam cleared his throat and looked, pointedly, over Dean’s shoulder. Dean turned. The local Sheriff and two real FBI agents were walking towards them. Dean put on his best, fakest smile.

“Can I help you boys?” asked the Sheriff.

“No, sir, we were just leaving,” Dean said, his voice going higher than he really liked. The way it always did when he was playing innocent. As if he hadn’t been on testosterone for eight goddamn years. “Agent Mulder. Agent Scully.” He nodded at each FBI agent as they walked past. Then he made his way past the Sheriff.

-

In Jericho there wasn’t a lot. A movie theatre was perhaps the most exciting thing here, aside from a few bars. Sam and Dean were walking along the street near the theatre when Dean spotted a girl tacking up posters that said “MISSING TROY SQUIRE”.

“I’ll bet that’s her,” Dean said, pointing her out. Sam agreed. Dean walked up beside her, casually as he could. “You must be Amy.”

“Yeah,” the girl said, turning to them and clutching her missing posters to her chest.

“Yeah, Troy told us about you. We're his uncles,” Dean said, gesturing at himself and then Sam in turn. “I'm Dean, this is Sammy.”

Amy frowned at them sceptically. “He never mentioned you to me.” She kept walking down the street and Dean followed, Sam half a step behind.

“Well, that's Troy, I guess,” Dean said, shoving his hands in his pockets and shrugging. “We're not around much, we're up in Modesto.”

“So, we're looking for him too, and we're kinda asking around,” Sam added as another girl came up to them and lay a hand on Amy’s arm.

“Hey, are you okay?” the new girl asked.

“Yeah.” Amy smiled at the girl, clearly a friend. “I’m okay Rachel. Thanks.”

“You mind if we ask you a couple questions?” Sam asked both girls.

Rachel looked between both of them and then Amy. “Sure, I know a place,” she said, leading the way with her hand still on Amy’s arm. She led them down the street and into a small diner. Amy and Rachel sat down on one side of a booth, Dean pushed Sam down on the other side.

“Can you tell us what happened?” Sam asked Amy, hunching his shoulders down to try and make himself look smaller. Dean thought it was funny when he did that because it did not work. Just made him look goofy. “The night he went missing.”

Amy glanced at Rachel before answering, eyes on the table between them. “I was on the phone with Troy,” She said, twisting a napkin in her hand. “He was driving home. He said he would call me right back, and...he never did.”

“He didn't say anything strange, or out of the ordinary?”

Amy shook her head. “No. Nothing I can remember.”

Dean glanced over, from where he had been tracking the ass of a particularly attractive waiter, and his eye caught on a glint of silver. “I like the necklace,” he said. “Symbol of protection, just like mine.” Dean held up his own amulet.

Amy clutched at the pentagram hanging from her neck and looked at it. “Troy gave it to me. Mostly to scare my parents-” She laughed. “-with all that devil stuff.”

“Actually, it means just the opposite,” Sam said, laughing a little himself. Dean rolled his eyes. “Like Dean said, a pentagram is protection against evil. Really powerful. I mean, if you believe in that kind of thing.”

“Okay,” Dean said, interrupting Sam before he could go full geek on these girls. Even though he had been the one to bring it up. “Thank you, Unsolved Mysteries.” He lamented the loss of the waiter as he leant forwards in his seat. “Here's the deal, ladies. The way Troy disappeared, something's not right. So if you've heard anything...”

Amy and Rachel shared a look.

“What is it?”

“Well, it's just...” Rachel started, hesitating. Dean reckoned they were on the right track now. “I mean, with all these guys going missing, people talk.”

“What do they talk about?” Sam and Dean said together.

“It's kind of this local legend,” Rachel continued. Sam and Dean were both leaning towards her as she spoke. “This one girl? She got murdered out on Centennial, like decades ago.” Dean glanced at Sam, who was nodding. “Well, supposedly she's still out there.” Sam nodded again. Well on his way to being a bobblehead. “She hitchhikes, and whoever picks her up? Well, they disappear forever.”

Sam and Dean shared their own look.

-

As soon as they left Amy and Rachel, they found the local library and commandeered a computer. Dean had pulled up the archive for the Jericho Herald and typed ‘Female Murder Hitchhiking’ in the search bar. When he hit enter he got a big fat zero on results. He replaced ‘Hitchhiking’ with ‘Centennial Highway’. Same thing happened. He growled at the screen.

Sam pushed at his shoulder. “Let me try.”

Dean smacked his hand away when he reached for the keyboard. “I got it.” Sam shoved his chair out of the way and rolled his own into the now vacant space.

“Dude!” Dean complained, whacking at Sam. “You're such a control freak.”

Sam ignored him. “So angry spirits are born out of violent death, right?”  Dean agreed. “Well, maybe it's not murder.” Sam replaced ‘Murder’ with ‘Suicide’. An article title ‘Suicide on Centennial’ popped up. Dean was impressed. The article was dated April 25, 1981. It detailed the death of Constance Welch, who had thrown herself off of Sylvania Bridge. Sam read off the spark notes version. “This was 1981. Constance Welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off Sylvania Bridge, drowns in the river.” Sam tapped at her picture on the screen.

“Does it say why she did it?” Dean asked.

“Yeah.” Sam scrolled down on the article, frowning.

“What?”

“An hour before they found her, she calls 911,” Sam said, scanning his eyes across the page. “Apparently her two little kids are in the bathtub. She leaves them alone for a minute, and when she comes back, they aren't breathing. Both die.”

Dean raised his eyebrows at that. He leant across to see the screen better and saw a picture of Sylvania bridge.

“‘“Our babies were gone, and Constance just couldn't bear it,” said husband Joseph Welch.’,” Sam read off. “That must be Joseph.” He tapped the picture of a man next to the bridge Dean was looking at.

“The bridge look familiar to you?” Dean asked.

-

That night Dean and Sam went back to the bridge. They left the car on the road and walked along it. Dean stopped about half way and leant over the railing, looking down into the dark waters of the river below.

“So this is where Constance took the swan dive.”

Sam leant against the rail beside him. “You think Dad would have been here?” he asked, turning to look at Dean.

“Well, he's chasing the same story and we're chasing him,” Dean answered, shrugging as he continued down the bridge.

“Okay, so now what?” Sam asked, following.

Dean looked at Sam over his shoulder. “Now we keep digging until we find him. Might take a while.”

The footsteps behind him stopped so Dean did too. “”Dean, I told you, I've gotta get back by Monday-”

“Monday. Right,” Dean said, turning to face Sam. “The interview.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?”

“Maybe. Why not?” Sam said. His shoulders were creeping up to his ears. Dean took a step towards him.

“Does Jessica know the truth about you?” he asked. “I mean, does she know about the things you've done?”

“No, and she's not ever going to know.” Sam stepped closer. Dean could feel a fight brewing in the air and he didn’t know whether he wanted to stop it or not.

“Well, that's healthy,” he told his brother as if he was some paragon of mental health. “You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are.” Dean turned away, back to walking along the bridge. Sam followed.

“And who's that?”

“You're one of us.”

Sam darted in front of Dean and stopped him from continuing. “No,” He declared. Punctuating with a deep inhale. “I'm not like you.” He gestured at Dean. “This is not going to be my life.”

“You have a responsibility to-”

“To Dad?” Sam interrupted. “And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back.” 

Dean reached up and grabbed Sam by the collar of his shirt. He shoved him back against a support beam on the bridge. “Don't talk about her like that.” He gave his brother one last shove before releasing him and walking away. As he did, he saw Constance stood on the other side of the railing. “Sam.”

Without a sound, Sam ame up next to him. Constance looked at them, her image flickered like static and then she stepped off the bridge. In tandem, the brothers threw themselves at the railing and leant over it, scanning the water below.

“Where'd she go?”

“I don't know.”

Behind  them a very familiar engine roared to life and Dean blinked as his car’s headlights came on.

“What the fuck?” Dean asked.

“Who's driving your car?”

Dean pulled his keys out of his pocket and shook them. They jingled. Sam glanced at them and then back at the car.

The engine revved. The wheels spun as the Impala lurched forwards, Sam and Dean in the beam of each headlight.

“Dean?” Sam yelled. “Go! Go!”

They ran. Baby was faster. Dean threw himself off of the bridge. Sam barely a second behind him.

masterpost

[goldtowhite]

nathan hong // character study

PART ONE: STATISTICS. 

basic information:

FULL NAME: nathan hong

NICKNAME(S):  nate

AGE:  26

DATE OF BIRTH: october 2nd, 1997

PLACE OF BIRTH: los angeles, ca

GENDER: cismale

PRONOUNS: he/him

ORIENTATION: bisexual

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, korean

NEIGHBOURHOOD: downtown los angeles

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: downtown lofts, he lives alone

family ties:

MOTHER: hong jiyoo

FATHER: hong seungmin

SIBLINGS: none

SPOUSE / PARTNER: none

CHILDREN: none

PETS: a cat named mandu

occupational information:

OCCUPATION: social media manager at sonic magazine

physical appearance:

FACE CLAIM: kim mingyu

HAIR COLOR: black

EYE COLOR: brown

HEIGHT: 6'2"

BUILD: very athletic, very muscular

TATTOOS: none

PIERCINGS: ears

CLOTHING STYLE: streetwear when casual, nice business attire when working

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: his teeth have a sort of fangs vibe to them that make his smile really endearing

personality:

MBTI: ENFJ

ELEMENT: air

WESTERN ZODIAC: libra

CHINESE ZODIAC: ox

POSITIVE TRAITS: adaptable, amiable, courteous

NEGATIVE TRAITS: airy, enigmatic, indulgent

HOBBIES: going to the gym, running, bike riding, surfing, cooking, sketching

wanted connections:

CONNECTION TYPE: an ex: one where nate was definitely in the wrong. he's not very communicative with feelings, not in a malicious way, just in a clueless way. nate definitely like... assumed things were casual and it was not for the other muse and he just kind of kept doing his own thing and they broke up with some pretty bad blood.

CONNECTION TYPE: pleaseeeeeeee gimme a partner in crime and i need it to be like... they are yes men to each other. like they lowkey kind of enable each other for the worse sometimes.

PART TWO: QUESTIONNAIRE. 

this part of the questionnaire is intended to be filled out in character just like your muse is being interviewed by someone at sonic magazine for example. feel free to add as much or as little detail as you like. if you find there is a question that doesn’t apply to your muse for whatever reason within your category feel free to omit the question or come up with your own that you think is relevant. this section is designed to replace a character bio, but you can still add extra information to your intro as you wish. 

IF YOUR MUSE IS IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY (NON MUSICIAN):

why don’t you start at the beginning and tell us who you are? nathan hong, first generation korean american. my parents moved here from korea about a decade before i was born to open a restaurant and start a new life. i worked there as soon as i legally could officially, unofficially i always helped. it's how i learned how to cook and all that, and i grew up speaking both korean and english, so i feel a pretty strong connection to both parts of me. the restaurant isn't something i plan to inherit in a meaningful way but i'll always keep it in the family.

what is your place in this massive industry? i went into being a social media manager simply because i feel really comfortable with social media. i've always run the socials for the family business and i found it pretty easy to get into doing that for other fields.

life in los angeles can be pretty intense, do you love it or hate it? i love it, but it's all i've ever known. when we visit seoul, i feel just as at home there. i'm not sure i'm the type who could ever give up city life, i think i'd get too bored. i'm not much of a homebody really.

what inspires you to show up for the musicians you work for or collaborate with? i just like knowing i can contribute to the industry in any way, and being bilingual i can also help out when we have artists who might not be fluent in english coming from korea to work with us. i guess i'm a bit of an unofficial translator as well, i wouldn't say my job keeps me so busy that i can't help elsewhere.

what are some of your favourite genres of music? i'm a hoe for top 40 pop forever, i also love a lot of korean music. i like pop punk, rock, really anything. country's never really done it for me but there are some exceptions.

what is the first record you ever bought? for myself? seo taji and boys self titled debut. it came out a few years before i was born but the first trip to korea i can remember, i found it in a thrift store and spent my pocket money on it.

what’s next for you? i feel pretty good about where i'm at right now, but i've been thinking about expanding my comfort in running social media accounts, like maybe taking on individual clients, or reaching out to gyms or other restaurants. my parents say i'm not ambitious enough but i think i'm chilling.

[gutzjunkie]

Mod Introduction because How Have I Not Done This

Hiii, I'm Lee, texture artist, Fu Hua appreciator & enby (they/them) with the 'tism! My username is the same basically anywhere and everywhere under the sun but I will pop my carrd and my neocities here as a just in case for those who wish to find me, let alone after all the years I've spent lurking here. This post will be updated and edited as time goes on

Now for the Dos and Don'ts...how...how to put these

MY BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR ME, NOT FOR YOU and I cannot stress that kind of thing enough

Do be forewarned I Am Autistic so there is a 99.9% chance social cues can and will bounce off my brain like world's bounciest trampoline.

If you are openly homophobic, transphobic, or ableist, I can and WILL be blocking you. This also applies to Trump supporters and the like. If you post full-on gore or send me gore this also applies to you

A light quote from the words of my husband, "if you believe mental health is a sham, Go Outside™" because I guarantee you're not a medical professional if you're spreading that on the internet.

If you have any problems with me please let me know in dms before starting drama. I'm old, booze legal, and mentally tired from people spreading misinformation on purpose because they get a kick out of it.

Do not slide into dms without proper context because if you send something not on topic I will literally sit there like "????"

Do bring a good attitude to your asks, because as aforementioned earlier the 'tism will not grab proper social cues

Please do send asks about my special interests and hyperfixations because I Will Not Hesitate To Gush About Them (especially if it is the wife)

Onto the special interests because Smart

Honkai Impact 3rd

Honkai Gakuen 2/Guns Girl Z

Honkai Star Rail

Angelic Layer

Genshin Impact

Kingdom Hearts

Vocal Synths (Vocaloid, UTAU, & the like)

Rats. Yes as in the animal (They need to start living for more than 3-5 years or else I Will Cry)

2D & 3D art (I dabble in both)

Voice Acting

VTubing

Battlebots

MikuMikuDance

Unity (The game engine)

Old Tech

J-rock

HTML coding

List of commonly used tags:

#Gutzspeaks is as the name suggests, a general tag for when I say something or respond to an ask

#The Wife is anything Fu Hua related

#The Husband is for hubby dearest @noxs-daydream heehee

Those who visit my blog often will more likely than not get their own tag :) anons will be tagged as they are

[missnight0wl]

I am cat with moustache, we talked not before :3

When we are going to work for the ROCC (hehe rock), there is a chance we'll have to pretend to be janitors with Callum. What do you think our friends reactions would be when they find out MC is a "janitor" (how about our teachers?)

Hm, the cat with a moustache? You mean like this?

If so, we definitely did not talk before. Otherwise, I’d absolutely remember interacting with someone this handsome, even if we didn’t see each other. It’s about the vibes, y’know.

Anyway, back to your question!

I assume you're thinking here about some of those animations:

And I agree they might suggest that we're gonna pretend to be janitors. I mean, would JC really bother to animate MC cleaning doors and windows in their own flat? I don’t think so. So yeah, I believe we’re gonna work with Callum as “janitors” :3 AND THAT ROCKS! (Pun totally intended.)

Now, let’s be real, MC will probably NOT keep it a secret from their friends, sadly. It’s MC we’re talking about, after all. But just for fun, let’s imagine the scenario where MC has functioning brain cells. In this case, I think that most of our friends would be like:

“Oh, you’re a janitor? That’s… so great. I mean, it’s temporary, right? I have to say, I’m a little surprised they didn’t offer you a better job right away, but… OH, YOU WANTED THIS JOB? Oh… Good for you, mate!” *nervous laugh*

Jae (and maybe Tonks) might think it’s pretty smart because if you use magic for cleaning, it actually seems to be a pretty easy job. Tonks would additionally be just happy they’re both working at the Ministry.

Tulip, on the other hand, wouldn't like that MC works at the Ministry, and she might be like: “You might’ve at least applied for a job that’d give you enough influence to make a change there, if you really must work at this wretched place”.

Barnaby would probably be just happy for MC without questioning anything.

Talbott would be like: “Why? It doesn’t make sense”. Ismelda and maybe Ben might be like this as well.

As for our teachers, I assume most would have a similar reaction to the general reaction of our friends. Minnie could have been more disapproving, but then again, I assume that she might know a bit more about what’s going on or at least she’d figure out that there’s something more to all of that.  Snape almost definitely knows what’s really going on, but it wouldn’t stop him from expressing his contempt.

And then we have Merula who would laugh her ass off. But the joke’s on her because she can’t even dream of such an amazing job with Callum! :3

[cartoonghosts]

reasons I personally would be good in an apocalypse, plus drawbacks

putting this under a read more because I KNOW this is gonna get a little long (encouraging you to reblog with your apocalypse skills if ur interested)

First of all! I am a survivalist person, especially in my area (the pacific northwest) and I know how to forage, what's safe to eat, how to deal with poisonous stuff, what's NOT safe to eat, how to start friction fires and build bowdrill and hand drill kits (I can't do it myself due to sensory issues but I can coach and teach, and I'm excellent at building fires and keeping them alive in the rain), and how to build natural shelters. I'm not a hunter or trapper, but I know how to build one of those basic rock traps for smaller animals and theoretically I understand the concept of weaving a fish basket, so I could figure it out with enough tries. I can also harvest cedar bark which is like. Number 1 Important Thing to Have in the pnw.

Second of all! I have knives! I am not scared of blood! I have very high pain tolerance and mental fortitude due to The Horrors, although I can be a bit difficult because I complain a ton when I'm minorly in discomfort (I'll shut up if you tell me to its just how I blow off steam). I can also build a fire so it's a good and safe oven/stove.

Third! Again, high pain tolerance. I complain a lot, but when it's serious I can just suck it up and deal with it, although there might be some twitching. I also know how to make a natural insomnia medication, which is actually what I regularly take (mugwort tea).

Four! I have a lot of playing cards and know a few games to play with them, and am a fast learner. I also have a shit ton of board games and both a ukulele and a bass guitar that I don't know how to play. I also have extensive song knowledge. You will most likely not get depression due to extreme boredom with me. I have a very intense sense of humor and generally am pretty fun to be around unless you're an asshole.

Five! My period is incredibly short and only moderately painful, so even without advil I'll just be sad and tense for a day max. Even if our periods sync up we'll be chill, I can deal with day to day stuff.

Six! I'm a storyteller and writer. You WILL be entertained whether you like it or not.

Seven! I am extremely anxious and overprepare for everything! I have two tents, a ridiculous amount of tarps, paracord, a water purifying straw for if we can't get anything boiling, high quality sleeping bags and pads, a shit ton of blankets (some kind of waterproof), etc. I also have flashlights and headlamps, but I prefer to rely on night vision.

Eight! I have a longbow! I am not perfect with it but I'm good enough to hit a deer at 20-30 foot range rn and will get better with practice. I can also make arrows.

Nine! I won't be weird about you! At all! I'm aroace and very asexual so you wouldn't have to worry about any of that stuff at all.

Ten! I already have a detailed plan for an apocalypse! (Steal some plant guides and then go to a specific sheltered place away from society, it's in a state park in an abandoned military area so it has nice waterproof sheltered forts that are basically less intense fallout shelters)

Eleven! I eat weird shit all the time, so I will not get sick from eating new plants unless they're actually poisonous, and then I would simply not eat them.

Twelve! I am incredibly dedicated to getting something done if I start it! If I say I'm going to go find a certain plant or catch a fish I am going to fucking do it unless it is actually not possible.

Thirteen! I know basic first aid! I can't sew up injuries, but I can clean them, apply pressure, and bandage them. Also, for my own injuries, my body is beyond used to dealing with infections. I kind of just ignore them when I get them, so I have great immunity even when they get dirty and messed up. I wouldn't do this in the apocalypse, but I do tend to have not bad reactions to infections.

Fourteen! I'm used to working on low sleep, low water, and low food. I have adhd, so I constantly forget to drink water and eat food, I have insomnia, so I'm always tired anyways, and I'm recovering from anorexia, so I can deal with extreme hunger. I also already have many symptoms of starvation and hunger from POTS and EDS so I can function with it.

Fifteen! I am surprisingly sturdy for a 15 year old twink with chronic illness. I heal pretty fast and rarely get seriously injured, and given that I have constant extreme joint pain, that stuff doesn't bother me very much.

Sixteen! I know how to deal with bears! Also coyotes, wolves and cougars! Cougars are the only thing out here that genuinely really scare me, but with a sharp enough long stick I'll be fine.

Seventeen! I'm patient enough to catch animals! With a few hours and enough animal food, I can get one to come up to my hand and then grab it.

Eighteen! I have survived severe depression, so getting depressed from isolation wouldn't affect me as badly. I also know how to deal with and care for mild injuries because of this, and what amounts of blood are normal versus not normal.

Nineteen! I may be a white boy, but I almost never sunburn, even without sunscreen! When I do get sunburns, they're never serious. I tan before I burn and only burn mildly after a LOT of sun exposure. And I wouldn't let that happen anyways.

Twenty! I know what animals do and don't carry rabies in my area! This will not help if you get bitten by one but I will very firmly make you avoid the fuck out of bats and raccoons.

Twenty one! Although I can't weave, I can sew a bit and know how to make cordage, and given who I am as a person, I could learn it decently fast!

Twenty two! I've got 20/20 vision, good hearing, and generally healthy senses! I also have only had a seizure once and thst was medically inexplicable and strange and will probably not happen again!

Twenty three! I don't eat very much! I'm not sure why! Anyways it is very easy to support me food wise!

Twenty five! I'm a strong swimmer and also I am not stupid and will not get pulled out to sea and drown! Plus, I am excellent at crab catching!

Twenty six! I am willing to eat stuff thst is genuinely weird as shit or just straight up bad, especially if I have water! Same with the pain tolerance thing, I just. Do it. Even if I hate it I'm good at forcing my body to do things.

Twenty seven! I'm not too squeamish about killing stuff! If you give me a living thing and tell me to make it not alive, I will do so! I'm more of a plant guy but like I will do it!

Twenty eight! I have a lot of sturdy clothes for survival-y stuff! I will also share them with you! I am nice about that stuff!

Twenty nine! I have multiple people who I will be taking with me if this is happening and most of them are very useful! The one who isn't is the love of my life and I will MAKE him be useful. Anyways he's funny and sweet and lovely and worth it!

Thirty! My immune system is great! I will not die from common colds and flus, or mild food poisoning!

Thirty one! I have books! Really good ones! A lot! I will bring them!

Thirty two! I'm good at dealing with hair! I will cut yours for you, and mine! We will not get mats! That would suck! A lot!

That's all I can think of for now so on to the downsides!

One! I have depression and anxiety! I am medicated twice a day and this will run out very fast after I leave society! Be prepared for me to have lots of mental breakdowns!

Two! I do not know how to weave! This is a problem! I can learn but it would be very hard for me to make sustainable clothing quickly!

Three! I have three budgies and three dogs and I will be taking them with me! The birds will probably be released because I don't think I could care for them after a few weeks and I have to trust that they'd do okay on their own (they'll die for sure but don't tell me thst) and I will be taking two of the dogs! The third is my mom's and she is dealing with that little fucking demon! One of these dogs could actually be very useful as she is athletic and smart, the other is a slow dumbass but he's warm and very nice to be around.

Four! I'm clingy as hell! If you tell me you're leaving for an hour and you're gone for an hour and a half I will panic completely and assume thst you're dead and have a full on mental breakdown!

Five! I only technically know how to drive a car! Not in practice yet!

Six! I have no sense of smell! That's a lie but. I have a very bad sense of smell! You will need to tell me whether or not food is rotten. This js most likely due to long covid.

Seven! I have tics! I twitch sometimes! It's usually a little controllable and I can suppress it when necessary but I will be twitching a lot! It might annoy you!

Eight! I am very neurodivergent and absolute shit at communicating! You need to spell out directions VERY clearly for me to understand. I also might get a bit bitchy if you do this bc I'm insecure abt being seen as stupid or immature.

Nine! I have insomnia! Even with mugwort, I have insomnia! I will be awake for a lot of time! I will be tired and sleepy in the mornings! I can't take naps or sleep with light!

Ten! I cry a lot when I'm sad! It might be annoying!

Eleven! I am an acquired taste to some people! I'm high energy and I have strong opinions about society! A lot of people love me but some hate me! I have not yet found anyone who is an in between!

Twelve! I assume the best of people! I might get stabbed by someone! It is actually not very unlikely!

Anyways that's it for now! I'll update this later. There would be less exclamation marks but I had a fruit salad earlier and apparently that's enough sugar to make me mildly hyper.

[ear-worthy]

Red Bull Podcast "Mind Set Win" Releases Longer Versions Of Its First Season called "Uncut"

New York Yankees catcher Yogi Berra once famously said, "Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."

 Despite the humor aspect, Yogi may have been on to something. The mental aspect in any game, competition, or sport can be the deciding factor.

In January 2023, Red Bull released a sports podcast called Mind Set Win. Red Bull sponsors a wide variety of sports, from base jumping to auto racing, soccer to skiing. I can understand why. For some of these dangerous sports like cliff diving, you'd probably need to pound a lot of Red Bull before you leap off a rock cliff into a body of water with little knowledge of depth or topography.

Give credit where credit is due. Unlike 95 percent of all sports podcasts where sports teams are worshiped like deities, or the hosts argue at jet engine decibel level about everything, Mind Set Win has a worthier and more useful objective. The podcast unlocks the mental tactics used by leading sports professionals and shows how we can apply the same techniques to our daily lives.

  Red Bull has just announced the new release of UNCUT, an uninterrupted, nonstop version of Mind Set Win. Don't get alarmed. This newer version is not about men who are not circumcised. Uncut is the listener's chance to hear the rawness and unfiltered accounts from people like soccer's Mario Gómez on the highs and lows of competitive environments; tennis's Matteo Berrettini on using defeats as stepping stones; and triathlete Lucy Charles-Barclay on the importance of rekindling passion and drive to overcome endurance blocks, and more.

Episodes of Mind Set Win’s first season were short, tight, and tactical. Hosts Cédric Dumont and Kate Courtney left a lot on the cutting room floor to keep episodes under 15 minutes.  

I loved the idea of the two people alternating as hosts, and Dumont and Courtney both excelled at their hosting duties. 

One aspect of the podcast I admired was its commitment to actionable steps. Too often, these sports podcasts that focus on the "mental game" offer trite and generalized advice such as stay focused, think positively, and visualize your actions.

Mind Set Win is better than that. The podcast pivots off the Angela Duckworth 2016 bestseller Grit. In the superb Lindsey Vonn episode, Dumont explains how talent plus effort equals skill, and Vonn details how she fought through adversity like injuries. Vonn then declares that, "Skill plus effort equals achievement."

In the Mario Gomez episode, the German footballer talks to Kate Courtney about how to manage the outsized expectations of rabid fans and developing a mindset that the next opportunity to score will come.

All sports have strong mental components, yet golf and tennis may offer particularly difficult challenges due to the length of the competition. In a January episode with high-ranked Greek tennis player Stefanos Tsitsipas, Dumont focuses on the tennis star's ability to focus and achieve that sense of flow, which is being completely absorbed in the activity. 

Tsitsipas acknowledges that flow can only be achieved after you've practiced and are well-rehearsed. 

There's no doubt that what distinguishes the athletes that fans watch on TV or at a sporting event may not be just talent, but the mental discipline, toughness, and "grit" to win. 

Mind Set Win is a useful tool for aspiring athletes and hopeful weekend warriors. The show is well-produced, and achieves its own flow state of helping people find the right mindset to enjoy a sport, work hard at improving, and achieve a measure of success.

The longer versions that are being released as of June 5 called Uncut offer listeners more depth of knowledge with the longer interviews. 

Check out Uncut. You never know what you can achieve when your mind and body are on the same wavelength.

For me, I am attempting to reach a state of flow in my golf game. Is throwing your club, cursing loudly, and stomping your feet in the sand bunker you can't get out of what you call flow?

No. I'll listen to Mind Set Win again.

[c-is-for-circinate]

a penny for your Ashton thoughts?

ASHTON GREYMORE MY BELOVED

Fair warning, I am once again half an episode behind, plus I'm pretty scattered today, but let's have some bullet points and see what ensues.

Anybody remember when, a couple of months ago, some posts went around about how 'everyone says Ashton's So Loyal but that's bullshit and people letting their affection for Taliesin overrule their objectivity'? No? Well I do and I AM STILL SMUG ABOUT THEM BEING WRONG.

Seriously, this rock is the walking personification of "I don't care," I said, caringly, as I cared deeply. We all know this by now, I think. I love it with my whole heart.

Something fascinating to me about Ashton in comparison with Taliesin's other characters: they are, every one of them, Extremely Sure they know how the world (or their specific part of it, at least) works. Part of what's great about that is how often the things they're Sure Of disagree -- Percy, Molly, and Caduceus in a room together and asked to debate human nature would be a wild show to watch from the other side of a bulletproof one-way mirror, safe behind blast doors. And so far Ashton is in their own way perhaps the least obviously Absolutely Sure out of all of them, which is really interesting in its own way! It means when I think about Ashton, I always find myself pondering: what ARE they Sure of?

I think we saw our biggest hint about that with his rage during the Hytroga heist. There are rules. You keep your word. If you create an agreement, you keep it. Breaking an agreement like that is WRONG, fundamentally, core-of-how-the-world-works wrong, and people who do that should Pay For It.

The other half of Ashton's worldview seems to be something along the line of 'people are assholes' -- put together, "People are assholes, but there are rules." Certainly 'people are assholes' is probably the part he'd say out loud! Which makes it really interesting that, by the standards of a Taliesin Character, Ashton is practically halfhearted about this one. They certainly don't believe that people never act for reasons of loyalty and love. I think about Ashton in comparison to Percy or Molly, in particular -- Percy and Molly, who were quite sure that the universe contained Decent People and Terrible People, and that they could quite readily tell the difference. (Percy might have had ranks for 'tolerable people', a category that could theoretically be applied to either Decent or Terrible people, but it was all very much something appropriately categorized.) Ashton doesn't go around the world expecting to find Terrible People the way they did. He goes around expecting to find assholes, which is a statement of general dickishness but also not, like, a thing to get morally offended over or be surprised about. Even the kind of prissy rich people that Molly would have loathed (lord, Molly meeting Jiana Hexum?) fall comfortably onto Ashton's scale of 'yeah, they're an asshole, that's whatever -- no, OBVIOUSLY you can't trust them, but who trusts people?' There are very, very few individuals who seem to rate Ashton's 'no, this person is so awful they have forfeited their right to be treated with decency and rules' classification. Thinking about how he flipped out about Hytroga, it almost feels like it's a surprise to him. Like Ashton goes around pseudo-cheerfully expecting a certain baseline of shittiness in the general tone of 'why would I be SURPRISED by that?', and when someone fails to live up to even those (complicated, only-known-to-him) standards, it hits right in the gut.

There's an interesting tie-in here with how Ashton thinks people thinks of him, specifically. Ashton thinks of themself as 'that asshole, who people may at any given time be annoyed with/furious at/relatively meh about'. And like, that's...sort of true? They have a really low charisma score! Various NPCs have indeed come pre-annoyed with him! But Justi was reasonably pleased to see him, and Milo saved their damn life and then let them keep living in their punk squat house, and the Bells Hells love him. I think that might be part of why 'people are assholes' is such a complicated thing, for Ashton. Yeah, people are dicks -- but it's not like they're going to just ignore the fact that friendship and love and loyalty exist too. That sometimes people are inexplicably fond of them in ways they can use. (and meanwhile, Ashton has been so, so lonely, Ashton who was almost fond of Jiana Hexum for being a person he could rely on who considered him Of Use, Ashton who's all in on Bells Hells as a crew and FCG in particular, who lets Laudna goo-cry on their shoulder and plays with Fearne and is Kind Of A Dick (affectionate) with them all. Ashton who was so ready to be valued and has gone all in on it immediately.)

...oh motherfucker, if Chetney is Travis's version of Nott, then Ashton is Taliesin playing Beau.

That aside, it's been great to see them in Basuras for multiple reasons, including the fact that it really beautifully illustrates exactly how and why "People are assholes, but there are rules" might become a life philosophy. In a lot of ways, that's the core motto of this entire town! People are assholes, everywhere, always, and nobody ever really stops them -- but there are a few central fundamental tenets to how things work around here, and if you break them you are in for a WORLD of hurt.

Honestly, it has been such a joy to watch Ashton in Basuras. They're in their element and it's wonderful! They know the town, the players, the rules, the games, the local legends. How many years has it been since Ashton's been here? And Justi and the All-Minds-Burn collective still remembers them fondly? It may be a shithole, but this is home.

Lastly, I have had SO much joy watching Ashton take FCG's whole "oh, Ashton is our leader!" to heart. He's never made a big deal out of it, never given orders exactly, but in a leaderless collective of fuckwits all trying to Twitch Plays Pokemon their way through life, Ashton has been guiding discussions, proposing plans, and doing a really unexpectedly excellent job of nudging disordered chaos into action. Part of it's because this is home turf and Ashton knows what's what here, but -- every time they tell Chetney to keep an eye out for if the group's being followed and Chetney immediately goes with it, every time Ashton checks in with the group to see whether certain people are okay -- it's so good! I love it so much! It doesn't work during fights exactly, because barbarian rage tunnel vision (contrast Fjord, who did similar nudging and guiding things but was also very much a battlefield controller with a good big-picture view of the whole field most of the time, especially by the end), but on a general day-to-day basis...at least in Basuras, Ashton is actually acting as the group leader, and I love it so much.

At any rate, the tumblr grapevine suggests that the second half of this week's episode is going to involve Dusk getting revealed as Secret Inside Assassin PC, and I am stoked to see how Ashton reacts to that. Ugh. Do I need to just bite the Twitch Subscription bullet for weekend VODs, given that this state of bed-at-mid-break affairs is likely to continue for...literally evermore, with this new job? I think I do. I really think I do.