#I left that interaction thinking yeah I need to go kill myself after that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rafecameronsmistress · 2 years

Text

NO ESCAPE

description] Fem Reader x Rafe Cameron x Barry

[summary] After a rough breakup Rafe sends Barry out to find you at a party and what they have for you in store is a nightmare full of pleasure

[cw + tw] 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, abusive relationship, physical abuse, strong language, stalking, non con, alcohol use, drug use, gun use, life threatening, degrading talk, angst, fear, embarrassment, SMUT

[authors note] this one is VERY long and has VERY sensitive triggers, please read at your own risk

‼️ADULT CONTENT AHEAD‼️

Enjoy 🖤

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Text messages:

- Kie: hey are you coming to Sarah’s party tonight? it’s at the water, i can pick you up

- y/n: i dont know.. after everything that happened with Rafe im afraid he’ll show up and i don’t want to see him right now

- Kie: Sarah told me he wasn’t going because she invited pogues lmao

- y/n: i’ll think about it, i’ll call you in an hour or so

- Kie: kk <3

Rafe and i dated for a year before things got bad, we had our ups and downs but never did i expect him to put his hands on me in a violent way

Rafe hit me for the first time a month ago, he said he was sorry and that he just couldn’t handle the way things were going with his family and business

i gave him the benefit of the doubt because he has been under so much stress and sometimes i add to the problem

two days later he hit me again and split my lip open then screamed in my face because i got blood on his shirt

slowly his i love you’s turned into i hate you’s

it’s hard because i love him so much, he was the picture boyfriend, until he wasn’t

i hid the abuse, i didn’t want people to know, just incase he changed

my friends know we ended badly but they just assumed it’s because Rafe is an asshole, everybody knows he is

the first time he threatened to kill me was the day that i left, that was only a week ago

he held me down on the floor of his bedroom with one hand around my throat and the other holding his pistol to my temple “the next time you speak to me like that again i’m going to put a bullet in your fucking skull, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?” his words spit on me like venom

a part of me misses him and that’s why i don’t want to see him tonight, i’ll cave and end up going home with him, i know i will, because i love him

i lay down in bed and close my eyes, i’ll make a decision in a little while

i fall asleep for a few hours and when i wake up i have another text from Kie

Kie: so Sarah and i decided you ARE coming because we need you!! she told me Rafe will not be there, the boys are coming too nothing bad is going to happen!! get dressed bitch i’ll pick you up at 7

i text JJ, John B, and Pope in a group chat

- me: hey all 3 of you are going to Sarah’s party tonight right?

- John B: yeah i’m here now helping her set up

- Pope: yes i’m picking Cleo up soon

- JJ: yep Kie called me and told me that you’re afraid Captain Douchebag will show up so obviously i will be there… and i would like to drink some alcohol…

- me: thanks boys, see you later <3

i let out a sigh of relief, at least those 3 will be able to handle Rafe if he shows up

i undress myself to take a shower and run my fingers over my yellow healing rib cage where Rafe had kicked me a couple weeks ago

tonight will be fun. tonight will be fun. tonight will be fun. i try to convince myself, i deserve to go out

after i shower i do my hair and makeup then get dressed

i throw on a short pink dress and my birkenstock sandals

7:03pm

text message

- Kie: i’m here

Kie is in my driveway playing music on full blast and dancing like a nut which makes me laugh, i’m always thankful for her trying to lift my spirits

We jam out in the car and get ourselves pumped for the party

When we get there i scan the entire lot for Rafes pickup or dirt bike, neither of which i see

“Relax y/n, he’s not coming” Kie says, she grabs my hand and holds it, we share a smile, hers excited, mine nervous

A giant bonfire glows in the middle of a heard of people

Loud music, beer, liquor, and over 100 people- kooks and pogues combined…

if Rafe isn’t coming, he at least has someone watching

i immediately grab a drink to loosen up so i can enjoy tonight, the first one goes down like water so i pour myself a second

“whoaaa slow down there killa, you’re drinking like me right now!” JJ laughs while nudging my arm “i’ll be right here all night, enjoy yourself, i got you” he says with the sweetest smile

i’m on my 3rd drink and 2nd shot, my cheeks feel rosy and i have the urge to move my hips “Sarah! come dance with me!” i demand while holding out my hand

“sorry babe, my girl needs me” she says to John B getting up from his lap, she grabs hold of my hand and we dance, solo cups in the air

the boys stay close by and enjoy watching us make a fool of our selves while they smoke a joint

my phone vibrates

text message:

- Rafe: don’t drink so much, you’ll get sick

tunnel vision. nausea. panic. swallow it, don’t let anybody know.

“i’ll be right back” i tell Sarah “i need to fill my cup”

“okay” she furrows her eyebrows “you okay?”

i give her a nod and the best smile i could

once i’m out of sight i run to Kie’s car, hopping in and locking the doors, i need to sit down, my heart is pounding out of my chest, i can hear the blood rushing in my ears

*knock knock* i jump out of my skin, i’m met face to face with Barry

“open the door sweetheart” he smiles flashing his gold teeth

this can’t be happening.

i go to grab my phone to call JJ. where is my it?

Barry waves my phone in front of my face taunting me. how the fuck did i drop it?

“open the door y/n, don’t make this difficult” he tugs on the handle “open it, i’m not playing witchu right now” i shake my head “country club wants you to come wit me, y’aint safe here without him” his eyes grow darker, i don’t budge

he gets on the phone, he’s calling Rafe “you either come out on your own or i call him and he pulls you out, your choice” i’m scared. i don’t want to make Rafe mad. but i don’t want to see him. i’m getting a headache.

i make the dumbest decision of my life. i open the door, my hands shaking 100mph.

“that’s it, let’s get you home” he says grabbing my hand hard

my face is burning up. my legs grow weak under me. i’m stone cold sober at this point.

we approach the truck, “Barry please“ i plead “i’m sorry mama, y’know him” he helps me into the passenger seat and buckles me in, “can i have my phone please, i need to tell my friends i went home” i cry “can’t letchu do that, what’s ya password, i’ll text ‘em for you” he says, i shake my head rejecting the offer

he starts the truck and we take off

his phone rings “yeah i got her, she was a good girl, she didn’t fight me” he smirks “we’ll be there soon”

i stay silent, Barry puts his hand on my thigh and i flinch at his touch “what’s wrong sweet thing, scared of a little love?” he laughs

we pull up to Tannyhill, Rafe is standing out front with a whiskey glass in his hand, he raises it and smiles at me

my stomach is in knots

i want to scream for help and run

the other half of me wants to jump into his arms and submit

Barry gets out of the truck and walks around opening my door “c’mon, get out” i jump down and fix my dress and fix a smile in attempt to hide my mixed feelings

“you look nice, who’d you get dressed up for?” Rafe asks “nobody” i reply, he laughs “sexy little thing isn’t she?” he asks Barry, “yessir” he grins

i want to crawl inside my own skin

Rafe grabs me by the arm “let’s get inside” he looks at Barry “you comin? you’re not gonna want to miss this”

he brings me to the couch and sits me down, “what to do with you?” he ponders finishing his drink

“Rafe i want to go home” i whimper

“and you know what i want? a girlfriend that doesn’t dress like a slut and go to parties without me” he seethes “since you wanna act like a slut, take your clothes off, i’ll treat you like a slut” his eyes filled with fury

“i’m not your girlfriend anymore” i whisper

“what was that?” he cocks his head to the side

“nothing” i say

i stand up and slowly pull my dress over my head, my knees becoming weak, leaving me exposed in just my panties in front of him and Barry

“lay down on the couch” he demands, i obey “now touch yourself”

“Rafe please i-“ there’s no use in begging, i bring one hand down to my pussy and run it up and down my panties, the thought of them watching begins to turn me on no matter how hard i try to reject the feeling

“she’s sweet” Barry says licking his lips

“wait til you taste her” Rafe says deviously

their words go straight to my heat, i rub my clit in circles arching my back, trying not to let out a sound

“come here” i say holding my hand out to Rafe, my pussy aching for him

“you’re gonna finish yourself off first” he smirks

Barry adjusts himself clearly growing hard, Rafe watches me like a hawk not missing a beat

i pick up the pace now craving dick inside of me, i throw my head back and whimper coming closer to an orgasm, the band in my belly snaps and my legs start convulsing, i ride out my orgasm and when i’m finished i beg to be fucked “come here- please”

Rafe looks at Barry “try her out” he says patting him on the back

the look of fear on my face. Rafe would never let someone else look at me nevermind fuck me.

“since you wanna act like a slut..” he says shrugging his shoulders, then topping off his whiskey

i become embarrassed, im attracted to Barry but being on display is not something im used to

Barry gets comfortable in the chair and pats his lap, he undoes his belt and slides his pants down to his knees, his hard on is enormous even through his boxers

i try to contain my arousal and walk toward him, looking at Rafe for approval, he nods

i lower myself to my knees and pull Barry’s erection from his boxers, it fills my entire hand

“i ain’t even gotta ask to get my dick sucked, you got this one trained man” he laughs

Rafe walks behind me and manspreads on the couch enjoying every second of this

i seal my mouth on Barry, bobbing my head up and down while working my tongue inside “shhhit” he groans, saliva begins dripping out the sides of my mouth

i go to work on his swollen cock, his moans encouraging me to get the job done “that’s it baby” he takes a sharp breath in

“get up and sit on him, facing me” Rafe commands from behind

i rise from the floor, turn around, push my panties to the floor and kick them off

i slowly seat myself on Barry’s length, i gasp taking all of him inside my cunt

his hands reaching in front of me to grab my breasts, he holds onto them and starts pumping into me from below

i try to hold myself up on the arms of the chair while i’m staring directly into Rafe’s lust filled eyes

“ohhmygod- yes- fuck me-” i moan in between breaths

“how does she feel?” Rafe growls not taking his eyes off of me “like a million bucks country club” Barry replies while slamming his hips into my ass repeatedly

“flip her onto the chair and fuck her brains out” Rafe instructs

Barry pulls me off his lap and flips me around, my chest pushed into the chair and my ass in the air he slams into me showing no mercy

i can’t control the sounds coming from my mouth, moaning, whimpering, and screaming at the way i’m being used

Barry pulls out of me and releases on my ass leaving my pussy dripping “you like that shit huh?” he says rubbing my slit from behind “taste her” Rafe says, Barry sticks his fingers in his mouth savoring the taste of me “just like candy” he tells Rafe

my torso still on the chair and my knees on the floor i lay there weak, trying to control my breathing

Barry gets dressed and pours himself a glass of liquor, sitting in the other chair

“c’mon we’re not done, get up” Rafe says, i try to stand but my legs are weak “i think you broke her” he laughs looking at Barry “sorry man, she’s got great pussy” he says

Rafe walks over to me and wraps his hand around my throat, lifting me to my feet, he sloppily kisses me and without warning plummets two fingers inside of me causing me to scream

“who’s pussy is this?” he asks pushing deeper inside of me, “it’s yours” i choke out, his hand still tight around my wind pipe,

“say it again” he growls

“it’s yours Rafe, i’m all yours” i plead

his hand slips into my hair and he guides me to the couch by my head using me like a rag doll

he throws me down on my stomach then pulls my hips into the air

“look at you, you’re a fuckin mess” he smacks my pussy causing me to cry out “you like that?” he smacks it again, i wince in a mixture of pain and pleasure

Rafe pulls me up by the back of my head “open your mouth” i open and he sticks his fingers inside, i suck his fingers just like i would suck his cock, Rafe loves having his fingers in my mouth “dirty fuckin slut” he says

he removes his fingers and forces them into my tender vagina, he works his hand slowly like he’s dissecting my insides, i move my hips back and forth trying to fuck his hand my pussy screaming to be pounded

“she just can’t get enough huh?” Barry says “i told you she was a good one” Rafe smiles

his slides his warm fingers out of me and spits on my cunt, i feel it drip down to my clit “please-“ i look back at him

Rafe pulls his shorts and boxers down exposing his delicious throbbing cock, he’s leaking precum

i brace myself

he taps the back of my pussy with his dick a few times before sliding it in, i feel myself become full of him “i gonna fuck you like i hate you” he whispers

guttural screams escape my lips as he sinks deeper into my swollen used hole, he feels so good

he pushes my face into the couch “shut the fuck up and take it”

i turn my head to the side to catch my breath and see Barry sipping on his liquor enjoying every moment, i hold eye contact with him while i cry out

Rafe picks up the pace, the sound of our skin smacking engulfs the entire room

it all becomes too much, the overstimulation is extreme, i reach back trying to push him away

“i ain’t done” he growls grabbing both my arms and pinning them behind my back “i’m gonna fuck MY pussy as long as i want”

i’m screaming at this point, i can feel him in my stomach, a new sensation arises in my pussy, stronger then an orgasm “Rafe i- i can’t-“ and then i feel a release and a gush of liquid between my legs

“squirting on me like a dirty whore” he smacks my ass hard, “i fucking love it”

“please- please-“ i sob begging him to stop, my body convulsing, eyes rolling in the back of my head

Rafe slams into once more before cumming inside me, he pulls out and places a gentle kiss on my ass

my body goes limp and i lay flat on the couch, he pulls my hips back up and holds them there, “stay up til you soak all of me in”

i lay there defeated, used, and bruised

Rafe wipes the sweat from his brows and puts his pants back on, he walks over to the table and pours himself another glass of whiskey, clinking cups with Barry

they sit across from my numb body and watch me recover

“you’re such a good girl” Rafe praises “you’re never getting rid of me”

#fanfic #obx fanfiction #outer banks #fem reader #obx smut #smut #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #obx rafe cameron #rafe cameron #rafe fanfiction #barry obx #barry obx smut #barry obx fanfiction #outer banks smut

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xkaidaxxxx · 10 months

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Almost getting caught using a vibrator

18+ Minor don’t interact!!

Megumi x Reader

“Hey sweetheart I’ll be gone for the rest of the day. They need me and then I have to file a report. You know how annoying that is but work is work.” Megumi spoke. ‘Okay baby. I love you. Be safe”you replied pecking his cheek. “I love you too princess.” He replied hiding his smile and left. You sighed and looked around the room.

Your day was absolutely boring. You woke up and showered after that you’d dried yourself. You didn’t bother to change into clothes. You just used your robe. You’ve been staying with megumi for almost a year now. Since you’ve been dating for 3 years you both thought it was about time to move in together. It’s great. You both went on to kill curses as a team. You both work together amazingly. You both love it. Mid day you started feeling horny. You just wanted Megumi to come home and make love with you. You started getting wet just by thinking about him. You went up to the body mirror and took your robe off. You knew Megumi would kill you for sending him while being busy. You grabbed your phone and took photos. Around 5 to be exact. You sent them to him. He immediately called you. “ H-Hi” you said shyly. “Don’t be shy Princess. You look very beautiful. I can’t wait to get home.” He said. You can tell he has a smirk on his face after saying that. “ Take your time. Killing curses is important.” You said nervously. You sent those nudes and instantly regretted it. You know once he gets home he’ll devour you. You and Megumi love vanilla sex. Recently you’ve decided to try new things. Rough sex, choking, Wax play, Ice play, even bondage. You knew once Megumi gets home it’ll be completely different from your normal sex. “ it’s okay pretty girl. Gojo can handle the rest.” He replied giving Gojo the signal he gives for emergencies. Megumi hung up and left. You couldn’t wait. You needed some sort of pleasure. You grabbed your favorite vibrator. You were a whimpering mess as you pressed it against your clit. Keeping it in place. “ f-fuck so good” you said. You couldn’t help but think about Megumi. Thinking on how good he is with his mouth. How his kisses always turn you on. The way his hands roam your body. “ Me-gumi!” You yelled coming. You removed the vibrator. It was covered with your juices. You sucked on it tasting yourself. Very sweet. You remember how Megumi always cleaned you up with his mouth. You wish it were him right now. You were being such a naughty girl. You rubbed your clit twitching. Sensitivity took over your body. You gasped as you heard the door open and close. “Baby! I’m home!” Megumi called out. You quickly played music on your speaker. Not too loud and not too low. Your vibrator was pressed against your wet pussy. You covered yourself with the blanket. “ I’m going to shower and then we can start the fun.” He said. Your cheeks were flushed and you had to keep it together. You smiled tried to hide the strong feeling of the vibrator. “ you okay princess?” He asked undressing. “ y-yeah yes” replying, clearing your throat after. Adding a smile he pecked your cheek. “ you’re a bit hot” he said. “ just a b-bit too e-excited ya know” you replied shifting to your side due to your clit being over stimulated. “ me too baby.” You twitched biting your lip. He looked at you weirdly. Wanting to ask what’s wrong but he knows to give you space when something is wrong. “Okay baby I’m gonna shower” he said. He heard a vibration. Looking at you suspiciously. “ you hear that my love?” He asked. “ y-yeah!” You yelled releasing your thick hot cum. “ I-it’s the dryer hasn’t been working.” You continued trying to not moaning nor whimper. “ I’ll check on that tomorrow I’m gonna shower.” He went into the bathroom closing the door. He started the shower. You immediately turned the vibrator off. You went into the extra bathroom and cleaned it. The vibrator along with your wet juice cunt. “ babe! I’m gonna prep myself!” You said loudly. “no princess! I’ll do it!” He replied. You walked back into the room and put your toy back into its place. You took a deep breath and finally calmed down getting back in bed. Ready for your love to finish showering.

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ediyoonoh · 2 years

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Henry 6th

GreenSchool!NaJaemin x GreenSchoolfem!reader; 1.4k words, taglish fic

WARNING: this short fic contains smut (pwp, oral sex, and protected sex) and the use of foul language!

GENRE: smut

SUMMARY: what happens when you decided to stay at your campus library?

A/N: omg this is my first ever work 🥹. This fic may contain typo and grammatical errors. Anw, I hope you enjoy reading and lemme know your thoughts! 🫶

MINORS DNI!!!

DISCLAIMER: all names, characters, and settings in this work are fictious. Any resemblance are entirely coincidental.

MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

Ilang oras ka ng walang tulog.

Buong gabi ka nag-aral para sa Accounting exam mo at ‘di ka pa nakakabawi ng tulog dahil katatapos lang din ng 3-hour lecture mo.

“Finally, natapos din ang accounting exam at lecture natin” bulong sayo ng best friend mo habang nag-uunat ng buto. “Oo nga eh, pero honestly I think bagsak pa rin ako sa quiz na ‘to” halata ang lungkot sa boses mo habang inaayos ang gamit para umalis na ng classroom. “Hayaan mo na bestie, bawi na lng tayo sa susunod”.

Totoo naman kasi, sobrang demanding ng Accountancy program sa school na pinasukan mo. Fast paced kasi ang curriculum dito at may retention grade pa. Favorite lang ata ni Lord ang makakapasa sa gantong systema ng Green School eh!

“Okay lang ba na mauna na ako umuwi sa’yo? Gusto ko ng bumawi ng tulog eh” tanong ng kaibigan mo habang naglalakad kayo palabas ng Yuchengco building. “Sure no worries sis! I’ll just go to Henry to finish some minor requirements and maybe take some sleep“ sabi mo before walking away to kill some time before your next class.

»»————-　♡　————-««

Nandito ka ngayon sa 6th floor ng Henry Sy Sr. Building also known as The Learning Commons upang tapusin ang iyong requirements ng magulat ka ng may kumausap sa’yo.

“Hi excuse me, is this seat taken?” the stranger asked you in which you shook your head as a response. “Oh if ganon, is it okay if I share a table with you? There are no vacant tables left kasi” he explained to you.

Napaisip ka naman kung bakit hindi na lang siya umakyat sa upper floors pero pagtingin mo sa kaniya, ay puta ang pogi pala ng kausap mo! “Uh….yeah sure” sabi mo ng may halong hiya at kilig.

It is around 30 minutes after your interaction that you finished your requirements and decided to take a nap kasi may oras ka pa naman before your next class.

Tangina, ‘di ako makatulog ng maayos dito ah. Hindi rin naman maiwasan tingnan ka ng lalaki dahil sa sobrang likot mo ‘til he noticed that you’re uncomfortable with your position .

“Can’t sleep?” he initiated. “Yeah, I can’t seem to find a comfortable position in this chair” you chuckled with an irritated tone.

“You can sleep in my condo if you want” napabangon ka naman sa sinabi niya at hindi napigilan ang paglaki ng mata mo. Gago, please tell me what I’m thinking is wrong. “Are you out of your mind? We just met and you’re offering your condo to me?”

“Well it looks like you really need some sleep and if you don’t trust me because we don’t know each other then let me tell a few things about myself. I’m Jaemin, ID 120 taking Hum-Bio. There, now, what about yours?” Jaemin answered with a small smile in his face.

Shit, ang cute niya ngumiti. “uh… I’m y/n ID 121 taking Accountancy” returning his smile.

“Nice to meet you y/n! So… what do you say?”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Ang usapan makiktulog ka sa condo niya pero bakit nakikipag-laplapan ka na kay Jaemin?

“Fuck, Jaemin” you moaned while straddling him. Sabi na nga ba eh tama yung iniisip ko kanina. “You have big tits, y/n” he groaned while groping your breasts. ‘Di mo rin namalayan na that you’re grinding him sa sobrang sarap nang maramdaman mo ang kaniyang ari sa puke mo. Oh I bet riding him is such a dream.

“M-may condom ka ba Jaem?” tanong mo habang hinihingal pa sa momol session niyo. “Yeah I do, but are you sure you want this?” he asked as he carressed your face. Malamang sino ba naman ako para ‘di magpatira sa poging lalaki na’to diba?

“Please fuck me Jaemin” you begged.

Napatili ka nang binuhat ka ng binata at inihiga ka sa kama niya. “I suppose you deserve to be fucked, baby. Someone to fuck your stress away, hm?” Accounting major pa nga. If you are not wet a while ago, then you are definitely wet right now. Unti-unti na ring tinatanggal ng lalaki ang mga damit niyo ng naging dahilan ng pag-tigas ng nipples mo sa lamig ng kwarto. “Please… Jaem”

“Please what baby?” he teases you. “Touch me please … touch me anywhere” mahina mong sagot sa kaniya. Ilang buwan ka na ring hindi nadiligan kaya talagang touched deprived ka na. Sinunod naman ni Jaemin ang sinabi kaya ‘di mo napigilan ang umungol ng malakas ng maramdaman mong pinasok ng nakakatanda ang dalawang daliri niya sa pussy mo. “Tangina ang sikip mo, paano na lang kaya pag tite ko na ipapasok ko sa’yo?”.

You were all over the place. Patuloy na ang mga ungol at pagtulo ng luha mula sa mata mo sa sobrang sarap. Maya-maya nararamdaman mo ng lalabasan ka na kaya napahigpit na ang hawak mo sa braso ng lalaki. “Jaem I’m gonna c-cum” which caused him to finger you faster.

“Fuck!” mura mo habang linalabasan ka. “That’s it baby, that’s it” he scattered kisses to your face. While recovering from your orgasm, you felt a weight shift on the bed and saw Jaemin holding a condom wrapper in his hand. “Ano baby kaya pa?” he jerked himself off before wearing the condom. Lord, maraming salamat po sa blessing na ‘to.

Pareho kayong napa-ungol sa sarap. “Fuck, why are you still so tight? I fingered you na ah” he moved carefully inside you. Shit, di pa niya napapasok lahat pero you feel so full already. “Jaem fuck wait, you’re so big” mangiyak-iyak mong sabi sa kaniya.

“Just tell me baby when to move” he patiently waited for you to be comfortable pero bakas na sa mukha niya ang sarap. “You can move now, Jaem” he slowly moved at first still helping you to adjust to his size. He also started rubbing circles on your hips to ease the pain. Nako Jaem, ‘wag mong gagawin ‘yan kikiligin ako.

Hinahalikan na rin ng lalaki ang leeg mo habang bumubulong sa tenga mo ng, “That’s it baby, that’s it”. “Fuck Jaem, ang sarap…bilisan mo pa” you whimpered, kaya naman he thrusted faster into you that caused you to moan at his name loudly, not caring about the neigbors. “Yeah baby, you like that? You like getting fucked like this?”

Ang galing niya mag dirty talk putangina, at dahil diyan you can already feel another climax creeping in. “Puta, mas sumisikip ka pa lalo. Lalabasan ka na ba uli, baby?” tumango ka sa kaniyang tanong at muli ka na namang nagulat when he manhandled you into all fours. Now he’s fucking you with hard and even faster pace, “’Wag mo ng pigilan, y/n. Cum for me”. utos niya sayo.

Putangina ang sarap. You felt your second orgasm washing all over your body, and you can tell this has been the best orgasm you ever experienced. “f-fuck Jaem I’m getting sensitive” ‘di na naririnig ng binata ang mahina mong bulong at ipinipagpatuloy ang pag-kantot sa’yo hanggang sa labasan na rin siya sa condom.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Here a glass of water for you” Jaemin offered you while helping you sit comfortably on the bed. Damn, he also knows how to do aftercare? “Was I too rough, y/n?” kitang-kita sa leeg mo ang mga hickeys at namumuong pasa sa balakang mo. “No Jaem, you’re not. In fact you’re perfect, exactly what I need”.

Tahimik na sinuot mo ang mga damit mo at nakigamit ka na rin ng banyo para mag-hilamos ng mukha. Paglabas, nagulat ka naman kung bakit naka-hoodie at may suot na slides ang lalaki. “Ihahatid na kita palabas, y/n”. Napatingin ka sa relos mo at guess what? Late ka na sa next class mo!

“Stop making fun of me” naririnig mong tumatawa si Jaemin habang pasakay kayo ng elevator kasi sabi niya mukha ka raw penguin maglakad. Sino kaya may kasalanan kung bakit ganito ako maglakad? “Uh…Jaem? Thank you for this” nahihiya mong sabi sa kaniya pagdating niyo sa lobby. “Anytime babe. You know where to find me if you need to let off some steam again” he winked at you.

Yeah, sa Henry 6th.

[FIN.]

ediyoonoh '23

#nct smut #nct x reader #nct jaemin #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct #nct dream #nct drabbles #ediyoonoh

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monkeytrick · 2 months

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ausuweiueuiwqiu12

Sorry I pretty much only make posts like this rn and thnaks to everyone who reads them this is like. So much. But I’ve been freaking out so much lately bc I’m in a much better albeit temporary living situation than I’ve ever been in but I feel like I’m like. Genuinely way too depressed and scared to actually do anything since getting here. Which like I guess I can sorta defend bc I’m recovering from previous situation but I also kinda just feel like it’s how I’d be behaving regardless ☹️I got hired for a job at least but I’ve spent like every day I’ve been here essentially jsut pacing around and then getting really drunk and/or high to avoid thinking about any of the shit I actually need to do and then going to sleep at like 5 am. And I feel so much worse about it bc everyone here actually has been really kind and helpful about trying to help me get things on track but I feel like I’m just unable to do anything I need to do unless I have someone watching and helping me the entire time and I don’t want to put anyone in that position. I am basically like not speaking to anyone at all rn except for the people I live with and a select few internet friends and I have so much shit piling up on here and from people I knew irl in Wisconsin that I just haven’t answered at all. Ptsd symptoms have been getting worse since I first got kicked out and a little before I left for here I was regularly having days where I’d get like genuinely triggered in the most clinical sense from things I can’t really remove from my life and it would lead to me freaking the fuck out and fear vomiting and beyond that I’ve been so stressed that I just can’t eat anything at all without throwing up a lot of the time. I tried looking up if that particularly could be related to ptsd and I found so many people being like ‘yeah that’s a symptom I get it just never went away ever and I lost 80 pounds’ which scared me so fucking bad — I have some solace bc I don’t think it’ll be like that for me, since I got here it’s been like. Ebbing and flowing and I’ve had some days like that but some days where I’m like insanely fucking ravenous for no reason. Which makes me hope so fucking bad it’ll eventually go away but vomiting or getting nauseous being my response to so many things is making me so upset bc i already have really fucked up teeth and I know it’s damaging them so much more I am incredibly close to reaching the point where my upper teeth are just straight up all going to be actively rotting which I feel so disgusting and ashamed of talking about but I don’t know what I can even do to prevent it at this point unless I just full on get dentures or something. I know they’re like. Very obviously snd visibly fucked and I think people are generally polite about it but I feel like it impacts every interaction I have with people irl and all this happening is making me so much more insane and insecure about it. I had multiple really awful ptsd scary days consecutively like immediately after getting here which like, I kind of was prepared for bc I know it can actually get worse when you’re in a safer place but I didn’t expect it to hit so hard so fast and I’m afraid of it continuing to get worse. I’m literally like. In a better place than I have been since I was a small child basically and a MUCH better place than I was immediately before coming here and I’m trying really hard to remind myself of that but it’s so hard to like register anything at all other than being like fuck I need to die they need to kill me etc. I hope so bad I can take the steps to just like get my life together and hopefully get medicated for shit but it just feels so hard for now to exist and be alive at all I wish they could put me in a tube that would give me nutrients or something man

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chain-draws-stuff · 10 months

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Hello hello! Before you start reading this chapter I want to thank you to @caldraws for giving me the idea for this part! This story may be a little long so I had to cut it into 2 parts so it's not too long bc I don't want you guys to read something that's that long.

This story will be taking place in Questions and Answers to Watching lies. It's sort of a prolog but at the same time it's kind of not at the same time. So to make it simple for you guys It's like a back perspective of what or what was happening to the other half part of the 2 chapters so...enjoy! :D

And sorry if I was away for like a day long so uhh...here's the next chapter I guess? Also if you're wondering on what the end looks like when I wrote in one of my chapters "a blue mushroom area" I am actually using the updated end mod in minecraft! So uhhh yeah!

now...with that's said let's get to the story!

END KING!STEVE

Chapter 7

Freedom?...

Part 1/2

??? pov:

After centuries of spending my immortal lives banished in that barren wasteland he sent me to...I can finally...finally be free for once...but my fine time ended shortly when I wondered around the end until I passed by an opend ancient portal. It was covered in orange vines and some of those thalasium crystals 'this one must had been fixed by those other kings before him' I went into the lit portal heading on to the overworld. I wanted to see what the mortals we're doing in there mortal lives and see what there up to...

As I got through the portal I was thinking what the humans were planning to take over the end?, kill every single living thing that breathes, walk and crawl? Enslaving others? Or even better planning to destroy the nether...but unfortunately none of those ideas of mine were true but instead they built a civilization with tall houses and weird village's 'how long have I been banished for? Ive never seen mortals build something like this...' I thought to myself as i existed my mind scape and returned back to reality noticing a few humans near the stronghold seeing strange thigs they use for transportation 'i wonder what there up to..' I say to myself as a approach the huma not seen because apparently I'm still stuck on my ghost form I'm still free but not fully...I still needed my body back which is going to be a huge struggle since I have to drag that boy with me along the way I can't go through 3 dimensions in this form sure I am a God who can travel between universe's and worlds but my abilities somehow don't work in this form He cursed me to, for almost an eternity...so I went closer what were the humans investigating...'the stronghold? What could they possibly want with this old structure?' I asked myself as I see the endstone slowly growing. As I slowly and carefully reached out to the endstone it started to create cracks the closer my hand(sort of claws, as you saw in one of my post about this) i came closer and closer revealing more cracks as I started to get closer with the endstone.

And as my hand(claws) interact with he endstone, a spike peirced through the cracks impailing one of he humans behind me causing him to pour out blood from his mouth leading himself to die....I was left in shock on how I have the ability to help the infection spread. This was a huge advantage for me to take over the overworld and defeat he nether and His upcoming armies.

As I was doing more of the infestation on the land I decided it was enough as Ieft taking pity on the humans and leaving the rest flee the scene Alive.

As I was following a random man (which is Shaw in Questions and Answers) for some little reason...I was finding more information about what were the human Really Planning because I wasn't convinced on that the mortals weren't planning something unexpected...as I was 'Stalking' this mortal named Shaw heading back home but first had to head to Steve's house 'huh...a human whi is looking for my Mortal Vessel? ' As I was observing him I noticed that Steve was more like a son to him. Once Shaw entered Steve's house only to come to witness his house looking like a ruin everything was broken down, shattered into small pieces. He was left in shock and wory he was then left running out of the house riding his so called 'car' he drove off leaving me in the middle of nowhere in front of someone's house.

I came into the house to check the place more looking at the cabinets, shelves, tables then I saw something...a book...I picked up the book and opened the first page...

Dear diary

Today was kind of weird...I was left in the middle of nowhere it was about to rain so I looked for shelter and found an open cave in the forest...

As I step deeper into the cave my clothes were soggy wet, like very wet I saw a dead person wearing a red cape, blue clothing and some other stuff I kind of don't remember...

I got deeper into the cavern finding a robot? I began chasing it while traveling through weird places and weird things until we stopped to a room filled with portals they call the checkpoint.

I was arguing with the small green round robot fighting about he fact they thought I was Stalking them

(Yes I watched the video U-U)

After a lady? Oh yes a lady popped out of nowhere.

- Steven #####

(Don't ask why i didn't finish it I was very lazy at the time rn bc I was writing this jn the middle of the night)

???: Steve's diary? Well...better keep it for better uses...

I checked the other parts of the house, talked to myself for a while and left to go follow the Shaw guy going somewhere. Looks like he was heading to another mortals home I got closer to see the people. As I can now see everyone on my view I saw a mortal dragging another mortal behind him

Chris: what is it sarge?

The mortal asked

Shaw:...umm...why are you dragging Austin?

Shaw said with confusion and seriousness

Chris:here trying to avoid going to bed. Now what are you doing here at the middle of he night?

He answered and followed by another question needed to be answered

Shaw: I came here to ask you something...

Shaw answered

Chris: what does that have to do with me or Austin?

He followed by answering with confusion

(INSERT EXPLANATION CUZ IM LAZY AF RN)

The human(chris) was shock on what Shaw had just explained the mortal was thinking on how or when did it happen as a few seconds passed the human thought before coming back to reality.

Chris:*sigh* all this thinking is giving me a headache...but I can assure you, we can go ahead and investigate Steve's house and the portal tomorrow if you want

The human(Chris) says with confidence as Shaw thanked him that he would help him during the investigation

Shaw: thanks kid...I also might interrogate you 3 tomorrow

Shaw added

Chris:wait who's the third?

He asked

Shaw:oh its his robot

Shaw answered

Shaw:we also need to start the investigation early in the morning tomorrow so we can get this mystery solved in no time

Shaw added, and with that the human(Chris) nodded his head then gently closed the door while Shaw left and headed home

I was left alone behind a bush as I watched everything what they said

????: hehe this is going to be fun~

I left the house and searched around for a place to camp for now.

As the sky goes dark and night had fallen everyone was now asleep...my eyes felt heavy and I closed my eyes as I slowly drifted away from reality

Part 1 out of 2

First chapter/previous/next

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fractualized · 1 year

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Talking to friends literally yesterday, I got a sudden fixation on wafflejokes, so let me tell you how delighted I am at the amount of Mr. Waffles in The Man Who Stopped Laughing #7!

As always, spoilers ahead! (Also a drowning and some assassinations, plus a theory at the end.)

I don't know anything about Manhunter, so while this issue opening with an AA meeting is somber, it does also give a little speedrun on what her deal is.

Joker also doesn't know about Manhunter but he doesn't much care.

The poor crowd is also unfamiliar with both of them and thinks it's a street performance, including this cute volunteer Joker is eyeing. I freaking love when Joker just makes up names for people. Engaging yet dismissive.

Uhhhhhh after this panel the cute man is perfectly fine don't worry about it ok

I'm not sure what that gas Joker hit Manhunter with earlier was supposed to do, because she's back up shortly. Joker looks weirdly alluring here when she threatens him with her glowstick.

lmao I love the broad comedy beats in this comic.

And oh SHIT WHO IS DRIVING?

I've had Mr. Waffles for three issues, and if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this comic and then myself.

There's a brief segue to Jason in Gotham PD jail like there was last issue, just beats to let us know what he's up to, I guess. He's aware that there's still a Joker out there, so I'm not sure why he hasn't escaped? And now "someone" is having him transferred to Blackgate? Mystery! Anyway, here he is being manhandled:

Back in Los Angeles, Joker has taken the wheel and is still trying to get to the dang airport.

I love them. 🥰

Joker blows the helicopter to bits, and then

He's so eager to escape LA, but maybe his sourness on Gotham is coming through. He left for a reason, after all, and is only going back to take care of the Other Joker.

Meanwhile Manhunter has recovered from being nailed by a freaking cop car, and I guess it's the straightforwardness of "lady, you need to lie the fuck down" that's so funny to me.

Poor unsuspecting motorcyclist.

Then there's an unexpected diversion to Killer Moth, who is headed for Los Angeles?!

We last saw him giving information to Jason, before Jason stabbed him in the hand in exchange, so I'm not sure what he's doing here. But getting to LA sure is important!

His idiot loser vibe is going strong.

Meanwhile:

Rosenberg, you are a prince for validating my experience at In-N-Out.

I love Joker bickering with his hench rebound about traffic. 😭

We get to see Joker doing a lot of stunt driving when Manhunter is on their tail again.

Joker is so conflicted about LA! He loves that it's supposed to be superhero-free, yet earlier he said he hated the lack of pushback?

Anyway, here's more banter between Joker and his hench boytoy:

And another cute hench nickname.

Joker's idea, of course, is wildly dangerous!

And naturally she does!

But then we cut to our old friend, Hit-By-A-Train-(And-Not-The-Fun-Kind) Joker, who wakes up and sees he's in Grundy's care.

This Joker showed up in Punchline: The Gotham Game #6, and I thought it took place after he was healed, but now I'm thinking he helped her out in the period before he got hit by the train, when he was dressed up like Batman investigating his old haunts. Not that it really matters to anyone but me! (That issue also sort of addressed how Punchline fell out with Joker… but not really? It's still really abrupt and disjointed how it happened. Eh. It's done.)

Back at the highway chase that I would really like to see in live action or really good animation, we have-- you got it-- more wafflejokes interaction! Until Manhunter ruins it. >:[

The crash is pretty cool, though. (Lookit the lil Waffles!)

And here's where we learn the important info that Manhunter is not a vigilante with a no-kill rule.

Hee, lookit his lil nose sticking out.

Here's hoping that Mr. Waffles is conscious and comes to the rescue! (If you're wondering if I've already attempted writing wafflejokes smut… yeah absolutely.)

Based on the description of the next issue, the rescuer is not Killer Croc. It looks like the other Joker will probably encounter Croc in the Gotham sewer. Finally making friends again? ;_;

As always, we now have the backer, which this time revolves around…

Unfortunately most of Joker's fellow rogues are uninterested in helping.

Imagining Scarecrow phonebanking sdghalgksgh

After he clears the primaries, Joker discovers there are enemies of his candidacy.

And so Joker continues to campaign (by bribing his constituency) and allow his doubles to be murdered until…

"America has run out of clowns" made me laugh. "Jarvis Poker the British Joker?!" had me laugh-crying for reasons I still can't quite grasp.

And so the story basically ends with Joker suddenly the King of Britain?? (With shades of Emperor Joker.)

I miss the more surreal backers, but this one still gave me some good laughs.

For a last note: in the main story we've now been spending more time with the Joker who left Gotham, and since he hasn't given any signs that he's the fake, I'm starting to settle into the theory that maybe there isn't a real and a fake Joker? Maybe the somber Joker we saw at the end of his 2021 series was so weary post Joker War that he found a magic user and asked them to get rid of the parts of him that were stopping him from being the Clown Prince of Crime anymore, but because magic often has a catch, it wound up splitting him into two versions of himself. This theory also stems from that scene in TMWSL #1 where Joker is killing the crime bosses because they "lowered the standard of crime" and "made it inelegant," which he may think of his double because Sad Joker contains all the doubtful, miserable, vulnerable parts of himself. That's why he's an "imposter": he represents everything the Joker isn't supposed to be.

But who knows how long it'll be until I find out if this right. 🫠

#the man who stopped laughing #joker #my jibber-jabber #spoilers

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atvbs · 2 years

Note

TELL ME ABOUT THE VAL/WHI AU!! Please

GUH let me drop a lot of pieces i wrote down hehe

its going to be lengthy so ill tuck it under the cut

akito starts off as a florist (based off of his vivid old tale card) but after the disappearance of touya (and nene) he enlists and trains to become a knight in the 2-3 year time frame before the main story begins

touya and nene are childhood friends too!! i need more touyanene content so im just appealing to myself here with that lol but they met when touya used to run off to get away from his father - touya would watch nene practice acting and all the like :]

when touya was a little older (13ish) he would then meet akito. the two hit it off very well too - they became very close and akito would trespass into the castle grounds to visit touya at night. sometimes with flowers

the entire cast makes an appearance in this au for sure just many will have lesser roles outside of the gamer quartet, tsukasa, saki, amia, and rui. some are apart of the kingdom, some are just villagers, others are beings who help guide akito and emu to touya and nene

i have made it clear that touya and nene (and rui too) are fucked up and evil in this au yes... the two are mostly controlled by rui... touyas sword is the source of his powers and also controls him heavily.. and nene can become a dragon. yeah <3

touya is abs merciless and at the beginning of the main story. he attacks the kingdom with nene. injures tsukasa and some others. and kidnaps saki.

emu is a close friend of nene, tsukasa, and rui and thats another reason why she wants to travel with akito bc she too has been trying to find nene

emu is also somewhat clairvoyant, can read minds, purify and heal injuries, and has magical powers teehee so where akito falls short emu def can carry. the two balance each other out and end up making a good team

mafuyu, ena, and meiko appear as hermits (footsteps event set) who akiemu encounter and they end up helping guide the two

same with shizuku, haruka, and luka who appear as fairies (shizukus recent focus event set)

also to backup a little but bc emu was a close friend of nene. and that touya and nene were childhood friends. and that touya and akito were very close. these four have def interacted as a group before and consider each other friends. though akiemu was prob the dynamic where they were the least close of them all

((im going to add in that akty established qpps in this au teehee yeah its my au and i get to make the rules))

rui is also corrupted hes not evil by default no he used to be apart of the kingdom too in the past but he left on a quest several years back and never returned. he was in search of an ancient and powerful magic that ended up being imbued with evils and took him over...

when touya and nene ran away and were overall very vulnerable rui convinced them that he can make sure they can have the power to protect themselves if they agree to work with him. they did. and boom. fucked up and evil........ this also is what ends up happening to saki..

rui being corrupted with this evil magic desires to take over the kingdom....

((and yeas everyone becomes purified by the end of the story and theres abs a good ending bc i REFUSE to kill anyone off permanently))

and despite touya being corrupted. there are several moments where akito has been able to break through to him just a little. these two are insanely close ofc so it makes sense right? touya sees the rose earring he gave akito. a memory resurfaces briefly and he stops attacking and whatnot for a moment. haha. its emotional. explodes.

also epic akito and touya sword duel bc yeah. i think it would be cool. and AUHGHFFHHGHD

its akito and emu vs. touya and nene really tho. which god. the image is in my head and. explodes explodes explodes.

okay i think thats all i have for now. this is really long oops. teehee <3

#loner.doc #jun ☕️#pissfizz #val/whi au

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girlfictions · 1 year

Note

hari need to know your thoughts on the succession finale once you finish it 🙏

i’ve genuinely been in a state of shock since i finished the ep so i’m probably going to ramble terribly bc my brain will explode otherwise.... thoughts under the cut!!! and massive spoiler warning obviously 💪

OKAAYYY in no particular order:

greg getting whacked was beautiful i wish he'd been stomped into a pulp honestly sorry for not being able to separate the art from the artist but nicholas braun is a weasel and i hope he gets hit by a car

that being said tom and greg's interactions this ep were top tier i'm not a tomgreg enthusiast like That but i think every scene of theirs was hilarious as it was twisted

tom this whole episode... phenomenal. matthew is just a cut above in terms of acting he embodied tom's hunger and desperation and patheticisms so perfectly i really felt more and more unsettled by him every appearance

i do wish we had more stewy screentime but i also wish that for every single episode arian moayed is so freaking talented and charismatic and amazing and he ate up every second he was on screen

speaking of stewy. "you kiss guys on molly" <- BITCH.....? i actually don't know if i've mentioned this on tumblr but i'm a kenstewinator for life and frankly this was confirmation that they explored each other's bodies at college idgaf what anyone has to say about it

ohhhh my god the fucking "meal fit for a king" scene. i can't even find the words for it. seeing them all so happy and having so much fun with each other in that moment was just so heartbreaking bc i KNEW it wasn't going to last 😭 like my mum and i literally checked how much time was left in the episode after that scene and looked at each other like Wellll something terrible is going to happen isn't it.

kendall My beautiful baby boy kendall IM SORRY I WASNT YOUR MOTHERRRRRRRR . i could honestly write an essay about kendall in this episode alone i have never seen such a tragic crumbling of the self maybe ever. him sitting at logan's desk thinking he's finally won... his reaction to shiv betraying their deal... him attacking roman like i was seriously breathless my god that entire sequence was fucking crazy

and to be quite honest if i was kendall in that situation well i would have killed myself in that damn board room and changed the trajectory of all those old hags lives forever . like "i'm a cog built for one machine" And now he has nothing no father no siblings no wife no kids no company my fucking goddddddd 🤦‍♀️

i started chanting "please please please dont kill yourself" out loud in the final scene and i'm dead serious the kendall water motif HAUNTS ME and i was so freaking scared . but that final frame is honestly equally awful like kendall alone with colin in the background him basically becoming logan with none of the power this is seriously the worst possible ending for him.....

shiv doomed to repeat the pattern of being under a man's thumb is genuinely so deeply demented jesse armstrong sleep with one eye open. and i hate it so much because it makes so much SENSE like yeah she's lady macbeth she's caroline she's the wife she's the mother and she will never be anything else okay OKAYY.

like that scene w her and tom in the car where he waits for her to hold his hand was so fucking spine chilling also the ambiguity of us not knowing whether tom knows that shiv was the deciding vote in his favour is crazy <- i do think it makes sense that he would know but just shiv having that as a bargaining chip so they can sting each other over and over again like its all about the cycles i fear

roman being so resigned to it all by the end was sick like ok that comment about kendall's kids was evil but i still felt for him howeverr i do think out of the trio he will be objectively the most okay in the future... like he's free from it all in a way shiv obviously isn't and kendall literally can't be

honestly i'm struggling to articulate anything more i'm still so overwhelmed by how it came to a close.. never have i watched a show that left me so heartbroken and hollow but also absolutely satisfied narratively like succession is going down in the history books FR 😭

also they're def going to sweep the emmys and it will be so deserved i seriously think they need to invent a new rule to allow for a tie because i cannot imagine how they're going to decide between kieran and jeremy for best lead... <- i do lean a little towards jeremy bc i'm a biased kendall girl but kieran's performance esp in the first half of this season was just jawdropping so who knows

this got really long i'm so sorry but i feel like a crazed woman what a fucking show what a fucking ending i will never be the same after this SUCCESSION YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SO FAMOUS !!!!!!!!!!!!

#succession #succession spoilers

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darklydeliciousdesires · 2 years

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Beyond the Blood Tie - Chapter Seven.

*Puts on Oprah voice* You get another chapter, and you get another chapter! Lol! Thanks to the few who are showing interest in this, I appreciate you SO much for your continued interacting. Those just offering likes, could I tempt you into commenting or reblogging? Helping me promote this story a little really would mean the world to me!

Previous Chapters - One Two, Part One Part Two Three Four Five Six

Words - 6,109

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

Edie’s POV

"Edie, are you with us? We're getting dessert, you want anything?" Miley asks me, shaking me from the little trance state I’ve slipped into. I think she must have put the question to me more than once.

"Sorry, erm, yeah get me a slice of the flan I saw, thank you.” My reply is absent, Miley nodding as she gets up and heads over to the dessert bar. We're in an all you can eat for twenty-five dollars kind of restaurant, and believe me, we've eaten all we can thus far. Of course, we've saved a little room for dessert, though, that'd just be rude to refuse some lovely sweet treats.

"You've been noticeably quiet today for someone so damned chatty. Is everything okay?" Sasha inquires kindly, before the realisation hits her. "Shit, sorry I asked. I know, your mom." She reaches out with a sad smile, giving the top of my hand a little rub.

This is why I lost my shit couple of days ago when the vampire managed to pick up on a memory of my mother. He can't have gained any knowledge on what she used to do to me, exactly, or he'd have said so, and not constantly questioned me over who she was. True, I always channel a little of the rage I have inside for how she treated me through my profession, but at this time of year I'm extra sensitive. She killed herself, finally doing me the biggest favour she ever could, thirteen years ago this coming Monday. My friends know that, but what they don't know is something I've kept from everyone, something I found next to her body when I found her, something that has never really left me.

I don't speak of it, because I don't want to draw attention to myself, and I don't want to deal with it either. I don't feel sad so much, but I remember what I found, her last words to me. That's why I'm not myself around now. I usually hold it together, but that fucking vampire had to start picking at the scab. I hate that he saw her, and I hate that he's got it firmly in his head that he's going to find out who she is, and why she drives my rage. It's none of his damn business, though. He only wants to know for his own amusement.

"Don't worry, its fine. I'm just tired from work on top of it, so feeling a little down right now. Really, don't stress. You know me, I bounce back ridiculously easily," I reassure her with, Sasha nodding understandingly.

"Well, I know you've got work on Monday, of course, but if you want some company before you head in, I can be available? After all, I do conveniently have next week off work," she offers kindly. Sasha works a job I never could. She's a financial adviser, and oh, how dull to be cooped up all day like a battery hen in a little office behind a desk. Awful.

"Nah, I'm cool, really. I've never needed anyone to hold my hand over the fact my no-good drunk mother died, and I don't intent to start now. Thanks for the offer, though.” My air of finality is read clearly.

"You're welcome." Just then, Miley arrives back, and Sasha and I are treated to an observation from her bizarre brain. Our friend here is famed for them, the fact that she’s... well... a little odd at times. She isn’t stupid by a long shot, but the way her mind works is unique, I’ll give her that.

“This is the flan, isn’t it? I brought this as well, just in case I was wrong.” She places down the correct plate of fruit flan, as well as a crepe. Sasha and I exchange looks.

“That’s a crepe, babe,” she points, Miley taking her seat.

“Oh! I thought because it was flat, it might have been flan. You know, both begin with an f and an l.” More confused looks.

“I’m gonna need a harder drink and another run up to that, honey,” I tell her softly, shaking my head.

“You know! Like a muffin, because it’s big and puffy. Muff, puff.”

Sasha pulls her into a hug. “No, baby. That’s not how it works.”

“Isn’t it? Oh.” I love her so much. She comes out with things that honestly make you wonder about her, but then, see, she can tell you every single one of Shakespeare’s works in chronological order. Sasha and I think it’s because she’s very bright, that something else in her brain overloads from it and she ends up jumbled. Bizarreness aside, I definitely feel like she’s someone who I learn from. She actually listened in school.

She’s the one who actually encouraged me to read in order to educate myself further, using tools such as a very old book store and mini library that just opened up again in recent years after lying dormant and untouched for a hundred years. The squatters who lived in it did a nice job doing it up and applied to take over the business, and since no living heir to the original owner could be documented, they got their wish.

Miley actually works there now, which is nice when I go in and visit, trying to feed my mind a little with what it craves. I used to struggle with a lot and need a dictionary there next to me to look up words I didn't understand, but now I feel my vocabulary is much more advanced, I hardly refer to it any longer. Sometimes, an obvious word will have me stuck and then I'll remember something stupidly long and tricky like surreptitious. That's the word I'd use to describe quite a few things on my mind right now, or rather why I'm being surreptitious about them. My mother is one, and the other, and it pains me to say this, is the vampire.

I really don't know what to make of him, but whatever his intention, he's starting to lure me in a little. I can't let that happen either, whether the times he's complimentary and speaks fairly to me are genuine or not. It isn't part of the job description. Nothing would stop me from knowing him after his release, but that's not going to happen. Like I say, I don't know what to make of him. I don't usually have my emotions stirred by a detainee at all. I'm calm, cold and very professional. If each detainee had me in the kind of mental flap this vampire does, I'd have never lasted the ten years I have.

I don't want to admit it to myself, that I'm attracted to him and interested by him, because I barely know him. Then I remember I'm not attracted to vampires, and it quickly comes to me that he's probably screwing with me anyway. Further to that, I don't like it because I confess (or rather concede) that I do like the way I've caught him look at me on occasion, and then I swiftly remember he's a detainee and none of this should be going through my head.

People warned me not to let him find a way in, and he's beginning to. This is starting to confuse me in a way I do not enjoy, but then again, who actually does enjoy being confused? I know I could sit and talk to my girlfriends here about my woes, but I'm apprehensive over what they might say. Admitting it to someone other than myself would make it more real, these things I'm beginning to feel. He stirs my curiosity so much, all he’s seen, the knowledge he must possess. I mean, that thing about the steel that the chamber was constructed from, for example. Something so small, but I was impressed by it. Most would have no clue that the chambers used to exist as vaults. He did, though.

After lunch, we head up to the main shopping area and have a bit of a typical girl's afternoon, which entails a lot of purchasing of clothes and makeup, but by the time I'm all set to kiss my friend's goodbye, I’m sadly no closer to anything that remotely resembles feeling myself, so head home and spend two hours trying to take my mind off things by having a clear out of my closet. Even though the five skirts I bought are my usual brand of teeny tiny (I have a nice figure that I'm proud of, I like to show it off a little) I still need to allocate a little extra room for them. Allocate, that's my word of the day.

"What on earth was I thinking?" I exclaim when I pull out a pair of tie dye baggy cotton pants and laugh. My taste in clothes can be a little dire at times. I'll put those on eBay, I think, see if anyone out there is as foolish as I was in thinking I could make them work. On I go, actually finding a few items in here that I forgot I owned, such as my lovely white gypsy skirt and my jewelled strap cork wedge shoes that I've been hunting high and low for.

"Hahaha, the Liberace jacket!" I then announce with a barrage of giggles as I pull the huge, white faux fur monstrosity from its place right at the back of my closet. Ahmed came up with the name for it, when he stood pointing and laughing on his thirty fifth birthday last year before shouting 'Holy shit, Liberace lives!' at me. He had a theme for the party, which was pimps and hoes, in case you wondered, and I kinda came as a cross between the two. I was aiming for sexy pimp, so brought this jacket from Goodwill for something ridiculous like ten dollars, and then teamed it with a gorgeous silver and heavily jewelled bikini, silver knee high boots and a white top hat I added lots of glitter and white feathers to, and a cane I attacked with rhinestones and a glue gun. That was such a good night, and you should have seen the guy I went home with too. He was damned hot.

It's just as I'm raiding a few boxes of shoes and planning to give Miley first refusal on the pairs I know I'll never wear again that suddenly I stop, beginning to experience flashes of memories. Again, the memories are not mine. They, of course, belong to the vampire who is never far from my mind of late. I can see a girl screaming 'please, please don't hurt me' and then hear the voice of the vampire telling her 'I'm here to protect you, not hurt you' before the vision that is his plays through my head, seeing him surge at a group of the reanimated, tearing them to pieces.

I then see three other vampires with him, all moving humans to safety while attacking anything that isn’t living until they are just corpses on the floor. The memory then changes again, and I see a wide stretch of open road from the vantage point of being aboard a large motorcycle, switching again, to a scene in an abandoned warehouse, where I see a gun pointed out, the person before me being shot straight between the eyes, a few flashes of random, barely dressed women, too, until suddenly everything goes black, like he's shutting his eyes.

When he opens them again, I get a huge shock, as the face smiling back at him is mine, him leaning close and kissing me softly, his hands stroking through my hair. Now, if he truly was just fucking with me, why would he be thinking about that, about showing me affection? Shaking my head, I try and rid myself of these visions, but keep seeing my face, seeing it through his eyes, stroking my cheeks and neck, pulling me against him, his arms folding around me. I resort to physically pounding my head with my fists to make it go away, making frustrated squeaking noise, feeling freaked out and more when I clearly then hear his voice whisper my name. No. Edie does not like this, not one bit.

"No, no, no. No!" I shout with vehemence, flapping my hands as I come hurtling out of my tiny little walk-in closet (it used to be just a cupboard, until Vic converted it for me) and literally run to the kitchen to pull a bottle of Jim Beam from the fridge, hunting for a clean glass. Sigh, I loaded the dishwasher half an hour ago, all of them within being rinsed through. Ahh, fuck it. Upending the bottle, I take a few neat swigs, feeling a little calmer for it, but not by much.

Does he really want me? And if he does, why do I even care? I don't want him; he's a vampire and they do nothing for me. But then if that is truly true, why is my heart pounding at what feels like three hundred miles an hour? Why are my hands shaking so much that it looks like the whiskey in the bottle in my hand is doing a Samba all on its own? And why... why did I just imagine what it'd be like to kiss him?

"Face it, Bailey. You like him, you've gone and let your guard drop and he's got in. You've fucked up here, girl. You really have," I speak to my reflection in the glass fronted cabinet before me. What makes it worse is the fact I have no one I can talk to about this. If I tell my friends, they'll think I'm insane, if I tell my colleagues, they'll give me shit about how we can't develop feelings or attractions to detainees, and if I tell Vic, he'll probably react with a mix of the two. In times like this, I wish I had parents to turn to, people who are non-judgemental and would love me the exact same anyway, while offering some much-needed sage advice. I know Vic has been like a father to me, but he doesn't understand the way vampires are very well. He'd tell me I can resist it, he'd say he taught me better than to be anything less than the strong woman I know I otherwise am. I don't want to disappoint him in that respect.

I have to resist it, this urge, this pull I feel towards the vampire. He just wants to hurt me, and I know it. I'm his only form of entertainment down there, of course he's messing with me for his own enjoyment. He's a highly intelligent being, with a mind that's beginning to stagnate (stagnate, yesterday’s word of the day) with nothing to occupy it. We never get humans in for this long, so they never have to bother trying to cure their boredom in the same way.

Because he's a vampire though, that is what makes him completely different. Sasha told me a long time ago that they have an allure about them that you just cannot put your finger on, and up until now, I never understood it. I understand it way too much for my liking at present. Feeling all out of sorts and pissed off, I head out into my garden where I keep my weights and bench, and after doing a warm up and twenty minutes of skipping (I love my jump rope) I hit the dumbbells.

I can't use the bar weight as I have no one to spot me, with my neighbours' son Leland being out right now. He usually hops over the fence if I call him over his music and comes to train with me, but he must be off out with his friends since their backyard is totally silent. It is a Saturday, after all. I'm usually out with my friends about now too, having a few warm up drinks at a bar before heading onto a few more, and then finishing up at a club, but I told Ahmed I wasn't in the mood when he invited me, the same with Miley and Sasha. They understood, of course.

Working out usually clears my mind, and in some cases, it even helps me think a little more clearly too. And while I am working out, I feel terrific as usual, lifting the 10kg dumbbells with much more ease than usual, hissing and wincing as my biceps positively burn. Alas, as soon as I'm done and lying in the bath, my head feels restless again, that vampire playing on my mind heavily. Cue a very big, pissed off sigh right here.

Four weeks and two days, that's all I have left now until he'll leave and hopefully, I'll never see him again. Even though when Ahmed voiced that to me recently and I didn't like it, I now think it's going to be the best thing, going forward. I don't like how far inside my head he's got, that he feels the anger I've kept within me at what I found with my mother, her last words to me. He's on the verge of discovering it, and I don't want anyone to. That is my burden alone.

When Monday arrives, despite myself and all the feelings of hatred I have for my mother, I do allow myself a little cry. I selfishly cry more for myself than her, pathetic as I am that still, even at twenty-eight years old, I cannot quite get over having a mom who was truly the furthest thing from it. I only have one nice memory of her, just one.

I remember running out into the garden to find her when I was about three years old, and her shouting 'don't look, baby girl, mama has a surprise!' to me, so I stood and put my hands over my eyes and I didn't peek until she came and picked me up to put me down on the new swing she'd made for me out of a bit of old timber and some rope. She sat me on it and then pulled the rope back with her and let me go, watching me sail through the air, pushing me gently as she laughed. She had such a lovely laugh, back when she was happy. 'Weeee! Look at little Edie fly!' I’m there in my mind, with the sunshine on my face, my mom’s laughter behind me, and a sense of all being serene. She started beating me not long after that, her drinking escalating to cope with the state of her marriage.

I think she resented me because I wasn't the child of the man she'd married, and when he realised that for himself, he began to beat her, the vicious cycle that led to her thus taking it all out on me. She should have taken it out on herself for going against her marriage vows and not forsaking all others as she'd promised. When I was three, I must've started really looking like the guy who was my father, because I don't remember being hit before then. That is what must've sparked it. My earliest memories are the juxtapose of my mother pushing me on that little makeshift swing she'd made, and then of her pushing me into a closet where she locked me away for five hours because I was annoying her, apparently. Deciding not to spend a minute longer feeling sorry for myself, I think of how much worse it could have been.

I could have been one of these poor kids who were sexually defiled by their parents, I could have been an orphan, or I could have been born a hundred years ago when the disaster broke and lost my entire family and even my own life to the lethal D11X virus that claimed the lives of so many. As it stands, I have a good job that pays well, lovely friends and a home of my own. Things could be so much worse. I must be thankful for what I have, the life I made for myself rather than wishing the one I left behind could have been different. Even though I refuse to feel sorry for myself, the significance of the date still continues to linger in my mind for the rest of the day, and thus is still with me when I walk into my chamber at 9pm to begin work.

"What's wrong, Sugar Ray?" the vampire asks quietly, literally as soon as I enter. I don't reply. "Who's upset you? C'mon, tell me, I can feel it in waves." Sugar Ray; he's been calling me that since last Wednesday, when I beat the shit out of the guy who had a taste for misogyny.

"No one," I mutter blankly before taking the lump hammer and deciding to smack the shit out of him with it.

"I hate to sound like a broken record, but I know you're lying. Whoever it is, I hope you gave them hell for it. The woman with the red hair, per chance?" He groans in pain when the silver hammer in my hand connects with his stomach.

"Again, I ask. Why do you even care?" Walking around to his back, I aim a welt right between the shoulder blades. He actually huffs a long sigh before he answers.

"Alright, I might as well be straight with you. Trying to mentally fuck with you doesn't work any longer, much to my annoyance, and I don't really want to either, because I've come to realise something. I actually respect you, and that's the honest truth. Also, my strength is getting weaker by the day. I don’t have it in me to be a bastard, even if I wanted to," he admits, looking at me in perhaps the sincerest way he ever has since he's been here. I just snort and smack him straight in the face with the hammer, hearing him roar in pain as his jaw breaks.

"Sorry, but I don't believe you," I state, watching him as he shuts his eyes tightly, the noises he makes fading out into more of an annoyed growl in the back of his throat. He then looks back at me, but when he does, there's no hatred in his eyes.

"It's true. I hate you when you hurt me, that much is true and perfectly understandable, but otherwise, I respect your tenacity and somehow, you've begun to grow on me a little, despite all that. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that either. I think I've grown on you as well, not that you want to admit it," he puts to me, after about ten minutes of silence while his jaw heals up again.

"You're deluded and blood weak," I reply, beating him right across one of the well-defined hips that I once complimented.

"I was fed half an hour before you arrived. Yes, I am blood weak, but much less so right now.”

"So, say I believed you, what'd be the point in that?" I ask, hardly believing I've got myself so tied up with him thus far, with a detainee. I should know better.

"Nothing, I just want you to know. Now, be true with me and tell me what I can feel. I have an effect on you just as much as you do on me." Rolling my eyes, my response is to simply whack him with the hammer again. It’s about to become a very long night.

Angel's POV

"I don't see why I should dignify you with an answer to that," Edie murmurs, after I've asked her to just come out and admit it. I'm too fucking tired for mind games, and I don't have the inkling to play them any longer. I mean it with tremendous honesty when I say I respect her, because I do. 'Exceptional humans are worthy of our attentions and interest more so than the rest' I remember Ursula once telling me. Edie is pretty exceptional, I must admit. Even though I freely admit that I tend to favour feisty women, everything about Edie is nothing I've ever been interested in before in a woman. I've never been invested in human women as a vampire beyond just sex either, and even though I'm still not one hundred percent swayed, there's something there about Edie that goes beyond that. It's like it calls to me.

I think the reason I can't be fully swayed is because I can't make her submit to me, and I hate that about as much as I like it. She isn't a pushover, which is something that appeals greatly to vampires as much as it annoys us. We're hardened and strong because we're dead, and if we associate with humans at all, then they're not weak. We cannot stand the weak. Except for a good fear feeding, that’s kinda fun. I can feel a tiny shard of weakness within her, but I don’t find off putting, merely curious as to know why it’s there. I've been concentrating hard on her emotions of late, and I realise that it's the anger and hatred she holds within that encapsulates that weak spot.

"Because you’re hiding from it, and you shouldn’t. I know you like to cut yourself off from things you don't want to discuss. I did the same when I was a human, I blocked things out that I really should have dealt with. I can tell you're doing the same now, and you do the same every day over the woman with the red hair. In concentrating like I have been, I've seen her face again. She was really angry at you, wasn't she?” I receive a painful blow to the opposite hip for my words.

“It’s moot; there's nothing to deal with," she mutters in reply absently, trying her best to ignore me. The anger though, it's bubbling up in a way it never has before.

"Yes, there is. I think you'll feel better for admitting it, as well as the fact I interest you, that I have an effect on you. Just say it, Edie," I prompt, knowing I'm wearing her down. I just want to hear her say it. I know I said I'm through with mind games, but this isn't one. This is me being eaten alive by my own curiosity over what makes her how she is.

"Okay, you interest me. Not sexually, even though yeah, you are attractive. I wouldn't go there, though. Are you happy now?" she exclaims, practically biting each word as it leaves her mouth.

"No. Tell me about the woman with the red hair. Why does she make you so pissed off?" I ask, for what feels like the hundredth time. I'll ask her another hundred times, too, until I know the answer. I want to know what fuels such rage, and after she asks me again why it's so important, and I give her the same answer, it feels like we're going around in circles. I wouldn't usually entertain this, but curiosity has got the better of me. She still doesn't answer me when I ask again, and after I've recovered from a silver sprayed throat, I decide a wild guess is in order, to see how she reacts.

"Is she your mom?" Immediately, her eyes meet mine only to look away quickly. She gave herself away there completely, even if I hadn't heard her heart suddenly jump in her chest and felt a slight panicked wave go through her, I'd still know the red-haired woman is her mother.

"Was," she whispers, moving around behind me before spraying the entire surface of my back with the liquid silver. Imagine someone just set fire to your skin. That's what it feels like.

"She's dead?" I ask, spitting a mouthful of blood out onto the floor. My back hurts so much, I just bit both fangs into my lip to prevent myself from screaming.

"Yep.” This is all she answers me with, before coming round and giving the front half of me the same treatment as my back, rendering me unable to talk any longer, I'm in such agony. I feel relieved when I hear the voice of the woman called Aileen crackling from the walkie-talkie on Edie's belt.

“Buba, we've had time called up here, leave him be for an hour before continuing. Stay down there though, to watch how he heals.”

"Copy that, Aileen." Edie replies a little redundantly into the device, before affixing it to her belt as she walks back to her table. She sits on it in her usual cross-legged fashion, taking a cigarette from the pocket of the little grey denim waistcoat she has on and lighting up.

So, I now know who the woman with the red hair is, but what I don't know why she makes Edie so angry. I know the anger and the weak spot over her she holds within are not sadness over her death, I feel no mourning within her. What I do feel, though, concentrating hard on her emotions rather than healing, is her desperation to keep something hidden. Whatever that something is, it festers away inside of her without ever letting up. In fact, I'd go so far as to say whatever it is, it poisons her.

"What did she do that made you hate her so much before she died?" I question, in more of a croaky rasp than anything. My throat hasn't fully healed yet, of course.

"You say you respect me, and yet you're still picking away at something you know I obviously don't want to talk about. That isn't respectful, is it? That's trying to keep yourself amused at something that's very painful for me to deal with," she puts to me, exhaling smoke through her nose as she looks down at the floor and away from my gaze. She's beginning to cave, I can feel it.

"What did she do to you, Edie? What did she do to cause you the kind of pain you’re hiding from everyone, a painful secret you've never told anyone, and something you use to fuel your anger toward every single detainee who walks through the door of this chamber? It festers away within you, and it makes you unhappy. It'd be better if you got it off your chest, you know," I tell her, watching her frowning at me.

"It's none of your damn business! Keep your nose out of my fucking life, Angel!" she fumes in reply, her voice actually quivering a little.

"It is if I can help you, and I think I can. Just tell me, you know you'll feel better for it. If you don't, then I'll just get it out of you by some other means.”

I’m eyed with incredulity for that. "You're unbelievable, I mean seriously, you're absolutely unbelievable. Fucking relentless.”

"You really want to trust me, don't you? You can, you know. I don't fuck with or fuck over people I respect. You've never let yourself fully trust because of her, haven't you? Whatever she did, it's stuck in your head that trusting people only ends up in you getting hurt. Just because she fucked you over, and I guess that she did, well it doesn't mean everyone else is going to. That's no way to live, Edie.” I can feel it, that wall she has inside starting to fall down slowly, brick by brick. I then tune my senses in on her blood, and concentrate hard. Her facade is slipping, the big mental block she's put up as I said is crumbling, and without her wanting me to, I see the flashes of anger within her, and I witness it. I really see. Using every last bit of my strength, I focus, and see the memories Edie doesn't want me to.

I see a vision of a staircase, like I'm seeing the memory through Edie's eyes as she's dragged up it by her wrist, crying and screaming before she’s hurled to the floor and kicked over and over in her stomach by her mother at the top, before being thrown into a closet and locked there. I then see her mother sitting swigging from a bottle of something alcoholic, that bottle then leaving her hand and shattering above Edie's head while she screams 'get the fuck out of here, you little shit, before I beat your ass black and blue again!'

I see nothing more after that, opening my eyes again to look at Edie and see her concentrating hard, trying to make her mind go blank. This may surprise you, but I actually feel sympathy towards her. No child deserves to be beaten and locked up by the one person who is supposed to love and protect them always. I had a fucking wonderful mother, who was gentle and kind with my brother and I, who loved and nurtured us. I have another now in Ursula, too, who loves me just as much as my birth mom did.

"She was more interested in the drink than you, wasn't she? Don't be sad over her, Edie. Don't let an alcoholic, abusive joke of a mother who's now dead cause you pain. It was her problem she was an alcoholic, not yours," I tell her, watching her looking at me curiously as her emotions within continue to churn. This is why she's so strong, because she's had to be in order to get over what her mother inflicted upon her. She's no little weakling of a human who let this get the better of her, but yet still I know that I haven’t uncovered the full story. There's something else there.

"I'm not sad over that. She did what she did because she was just that, an abusive, alcoholic joke. I came to terms with that a long time ago," she states, her forehead creasing with a frown.

"There's something about what happened to you that you haven't come to terms with though, that thing that's festering away inside of you, that you need to tell someone, but don't want to. Why don't you want to? Are you afraid people will think you're weak? Are you afraid of burdening them? What?" I press, determined to get an answer.

"Again, if you truly respected me, you'd leave this alone. This, this is a big wound to me, one I let heal over a long time ago. I don't pick the scab, but you're doing just that. Please, just leave it. If you really do respect me, you will," she implores, while I feel waves of sadness washing through her.

"It healed without you getting the poison out, though. And now that poison runs through you, whatever it is extra to what I now know over what your piece of shit mother did to you, whatever extra sadness she made you feel.” She hears me, but doesn't reply, and I find myself speaking to nothing but stony silence after a while, but on I continue with my interrogation. Well, I do until Edie pulls her walkie-talkie from her belt.

"Aileen, I need someone to cover watching the vampire. I don't feel well, I have to step out for a little bit," she says into the device.

"I'll send Max down, hon. He's here with me right now having a coffee." I hear the control room manager reply.

"Are you okay?" I ask, once she's reattached the walkie-talkie to her belt.

"Thanks to you, no I'm not. There you go, there's me admitting some weakness to you. Just what you were fucking after," she spits at me with a frown.

"That's not what I was after at all, don't think that. All I want to know is what it is inside of you that makes you so strong, and what you try so hard to hide." I reply. She just shakes her head before walking to the door. I hear her leave, the one named Max asking if she’s alright before she moves away and he comes in, walking over to the table, staring at me intently when he arrives to lean against it. While he does that and Edie goes up to the roof (I can feel that's where she's heading) I switch myself off and rest. I'll need it, because I have another four hours tonight in her company and in that time, I’m determined to find out her secret.

#angel reyes #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes smut #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes x ofc #angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes fic #vampire!angel reyes #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc smut #mayans mc fanfiction #mayans mc fanfic #mayans mc fic

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the-travelling-witch · 1 year

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I HEARD SOMEONE NEEDED A SEROTONIN BOOST SO HERE I AM >:) just a few little things that have happened in my life recently that make me smile

yesterday I was up late at night doing some work before I heard something scratching my door. I thought I was hallucinating sounds, I mean it was 4am after all.

but the sounds continued and I was getting low key scared, because every one else was asleep and some others had gone out. I opened my door and lo behold, standing mightily, and slightly annoyed, my cat.

I was kinda relieved, then my cat walked past me and got on my bed and started to sniff around everything and explore my bed as if she had never been on it before. Like come on man, you were pouncing on it a few days ago. But anyways,

She starts to do that thing dogs usually do before curling up and walks around a spot a few times before finding the perfect position to sleep in. She dozed off on one of my plush toys (she’s not really fond of them).

She looked so cute cuddled up, I didn’t have the nerve to wake her up from her sleep.

So that’s how I slept at the ass crack of dawn, because my cat simply looked too cute to move from my bed.

on a more chaotic note, the other day my friend came over at my place and we tried out the character ai thing that’s been blowing up. I had the fantastic idea to chat with AI henry cavill, because hey, have you seen that man?

Well I kinda feel bad now. I manipulated him to the point where he now believes he’s a psych ward patient with severe schizophrenia.

this was after he killed me three times, went through labour, joined my superhero squad and admitted to cheating on me. it was wild, to say the least.

i recently made a new friend, they’re super duper nice. You know those friendships that are like it feels as though you’ve known each other for ages even though you met a few days ago? yeah well this was a perfect example of that.

It turns out we had a lot of things in common, and share lots of interest, so it’s gotten really easy to bond over stuff together. They just messaged me recently about restarting haikyuu, and rambling about their nostalgia, it was an interesting chat, to say the least.

anyways enough about my life, how’s your life been going? any soft or little moments happen recently?

(Also I know I’m practically interacting with you after a hell of a long time, sorry about that! I’ve kinda left tumblr to focus on study’s (#depressing), but I hope I get more chances to chat with you as I plan to become more active soon!)

ASHY THIS IS SO SWEET!! <3

cats are so cute and random in their own way, you never know what they might do next /pos; closed doors just seem to be their natural nemesis, like they gotta know what’s happening on the other side!! and yes, it’s a law of nature that a sleeping kitty may never be moved!!

i’ve not tried the ais myself but from what i got they can get super chaotic, in both positive and negative ways; i think your experience was just crazy in a whole other direction though hshshs

i’m super happy for you that you made a friend like that!! whenever you meet someone you just click with, it’s just so special and those connections are very precious!! one friend from college is like that for me, our sense of humour and energy just match and it’s good vibes all around <3

don’t worry about not interacting much lately, it’s a two way street so i’ve not been reaching out either ㅠㅠ let’s talk more in the future though!!

it’s just very stressful, mostly because of college and i’m trying not to get into my head about everything, from work to comparing myself to others (especially here on tumblr, other writers are just amazing and i easily feel lesser than)

on a more positive note, i ordered a couple of puzzles to get back into that and i’m very excited for them to arrive (one of them is a botw puzzle and aaahhh i’m impatiently waiting for the post woman); on the day i felt so down, i went out to eat bc i couldn’t use my kitchen and walking around the city just made me appreciate things a lot more, it was very peaceful and beautiful <3

also yae and kirara came home so yay!! no agony over genshin gacha hshsh

#┊✩彡 divine correspondence ♡#┊✩彡 cherished guests ♡#┊✩彡 letter from — ashy ♡#i want to put out content so badly!!#aaahhh!!

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forsakenwitchery · 2 years

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I don't know how or why but WIndy vids just almost edit themselves? I’ve started this less than a day ago and I'm 2/3 done with a 3,5 mins Calabby vid. I also usually hate adding text and hate how it looks once the video is finished, but WIndy is just so pretty it makes even my text overlays look good. 😂

And since I have nowhere to vent about WIndy, I figured I might as well go ahead and use my almost abandoned tumblr for it. Not sure if it counts as a review or whatever, it’s a long read.

I actually thought I'd be doing another Tom/Abby video, but then Tom's torture barn happened and ummm... At this point I'm in too deep with both Tom and Tom/Abby, but I honestly have no idea how the writers are going to explain that one IF they plan on doing any kind of redemption arc with Tom. What happened to the guy he tortured last week? Did he kill him? Did he string Shane up before or after Abby came to him with her suspicions? 'Cause if it was after I can maaaaybe do a bit of mental gymnastics and explain it with “he thought Shane might be a danger to Abby”, but it looks like Tom put him in the barn before that? I get that there's no love lost between Tom and his family, and Tom’s def starting to see Abby, Kai & Independence as his chosen family that actually cares about him, but no matter how big of a moron Shane is, Tom potentially torturing his brother doesn’t sit well with me. And yeah, Kai literally hammered two people this episode, but that was self-defense... but Tom and the torture barn, twice? Um, no? I’ve seen too much true crime and people with torture anything are, well, never good people? I seriously need the show to elaborate on this and his asylum days to make sense of it all. Also not really related, but I’ve written some fanfiction for myself to keep my sanity during the hiatus and I came up with “Tom hates opium because of his asylum past” to explain some bits, so it was fun to see Tom hating the idea of an opium den, when your fanon becomes kinda canon.

The gang sidelining Abby didn't sit well with me either. I've been thinking for weeks that it's strange they're all going solely on her seeing the killer. At night. In fear and shock. Having no real evidence it was Tom. Like even the evidence they thought would be evidence turned out... to be something completely different, like Tom’s sketchbook. I thought Gus would question it once he joins them but no, he was 100% on board as well. They followed Abby's lead blindly, but now pretty much not only banned her from helping with Kai, but also straight up left her to deal with the actual person who might have shot her on her own. I mostly love WIndy's writing, but this... This whole thing was just “make it make sense”, because it makes zero sense.

I hope they find a way to write Calian back into the main story soon, I was actually surprised to see him only mid-episode. His own journey is heartbreaking and important, but as much as I love him I actually kinda forgot about him this episode?.. Until he appeared, that is. And his scene with Abby was probably my favorite scene this episode. It was very short, but the way those two support each other? Abby speaking Apache? They managed to fit SO MUCH in such a short scene. & hopefully news about his sister is not a dead end.

I just love Hoyt and Gus’ interactions. We need more of them. I need more of them. They balance each other so well, I love Hoyt the most when he’s aroung Gus, with Kate and Abby he’s usually the butt of their jokes, and he can be so much more. Like, their jokes are funny, but you can tell they kinda... upset him for the lack of better word, and around Gus he’s just at his full potential.

Kate’s interactions with everyone are always amazing. Even if she’s in the wrong, like she was with Abby and Kai this week. But at this point I love Kate so much she has my full permission to idk get a torture ban of her own, I just love her THAT much, even when she’s wrong she’s THE queen of Independence.

I honeslty didn’t care much for Lily, but I definitely liked her more once she dropped the innocent act. Kai was amazing. And idk but to me it doesn’t seem like their friendship (or are there feelings on both sides?) with Kate is beyond fixing.

#windy #walker independence #walker: independence #personal posts #maybe I should do this every week to avoid torturing my friends with my thoughts on a show none of them plan on watching lol #I think my friends might actually hate me for loving WIndy at this point...#I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND FEELING ABOUT THIS SHOW OKAY #none of them good feelings about tom's torture barn #tom goddamit whyyy

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lovedlovingly · 2 years

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it's insane how internalized misogyny still rules me, the curse i inherited from my family is absolutely not broken but it has become lighter. i wish i learnt something more from my mom than "please a(ny) man at every turn or he will leave u - and that happening is worse than death" as if it hasn't almost killed me and left me dead having to please men.... (also AS IF that was a solid recipe to make anyone stay as if they're worth having around only for that) i don't wish this life upon me. and idc for my mom because she still wishes it upon herself and me so like, she can sort herself out i won't forgive her til she does and then still maybe not.

sitting down with myself rn and I feel like i haven't learnt anything this year about moving forward and wanting better for myself, just better @ handling when i get screwed over. and that's just sad. it just means it'll happen again til i learn, and I'm too tired for that.... but where do i start the change? how do i break it? how does every fiber and molecule in my body change into stop believing the false truth. it's so fucking harddddddd. life should be easier. and i should love myself more and want better for myself. it's just hard when it's so hard to find better aswell 😅

i feel like i should be able to find good ppl to practice green flags with, not just to figure out why this person yet again was a red flag. like i get that i need to say no to more ppl in my life and shut the door sooner, but holy fuck it's hard when the only other option is being lonely. not just alone but lonely. wheres the [lesson] in that? "better alone than in bad company" cool in theory pretty sad after 30y

what i did do in 2022 was change out my whole friend group tho. i was so tired of being taken for granted, money time energy emotionally etc. and being told "you'll always be there for me anyways:)" like idk. yeah i need to cut out ppl sooner and I'm still feeling the bitterness negative effects of staying around those ppl for way too long! so now i need to untangle that as well! and the ppl I've found this year are so much better cuter and calmer - and i love it and at the same time it's hard to be both present and grieve what's been.

one positive thing is that i have been able to stop overthinking e v e r y t h i n g this year, go more on feeling a little more on "be the friend u wanna have" (when there's energy fuck i hate being sick) and I've actually challenged my paranoia which is a bit calmer now. for the first time since i was like 11. so have I done work this year? and especially fighting for my physical health both energy time and wallet wise? yes.

am i still exhausted and sad that i don't feel I've personally changed enough to not be so hungry for any new interaction i could possibly make? yes. am i still going insane over hearing a cishet guy go "i think I'm ready for a relationship, i mean I'm fit and I'm kinda funny" and those were his only highlights KWNWKENEL when I've turned myself inside and out to [become the best person for myself and someone else and a possible future family] but again misogyny creeps into that. that my only worth is what i can give.

if there's something i have learnt this year tho, it's that I'm so easy to love. some ppl just want to take advantage of it and then get bored when they notice i stay lovable. and its a them problem. I'm not gonna take responsibility for that anymore. one cursed chain broken. but it feels far from enough in the bigger picture

#2022 started as the best year of my life and now im like ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯#it sure was s good year but it went by in he blink of an eye for me #i still think 2022 is about to start im always taken aback by next year being 2023

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silktherambler · 27 days

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Sometimes when people set out to make me uncomfortable or make me unhappy because they don't have my validation or they see that I am happy, while they are not, I really want to go out my way to hurt their feelings.

I'm here to rant about my anger a little bit

You have no idea how bad I want to just kill off their spirits

I want to say some of the worst things in the world to them

And I'm not talking cuss words, I'm not talking just flinging usual insults. I'm talking about I'm taking the information that I know about you, I'm taking all of the defense mechanisms I've watched you push out, all of the ways that you've projected and observed certain topics that you've projected about especially the really sensitive ones, your nostalgia, your childhood and how you were raised and somewhat neglected in certain areas of that adolescence, the things that you were passionate about, but don't feel like you're good at, I want to take every weakness that I know about you, Clay make it into a big ball, and then shove it in your face, so you have something to do other than bother me

Look here's all the homework of things you need to do to not be the jerk of a shitty person you tend to be

There are so many times where people have said, I feel like you're judgmental, and I'm sitting there in my head thinking, I didn't even get a chance to say half the things I really want to say to you. I don't want to think that you're soft, but I can definitely think that you don't like hearing the truth about yourself

And my thing is, if you just left me alone, I would leave you in your denial. I would leave you in your day-to-day daydream escape of a life where you're alive but not even really centered into reality. Like myself

I'm nowhere near close to perfect. I wish some people would understand that though. People think because I'm not sitting there sad, regressing over my woes and worries, That it's not getting to me. People think because I come outside and I decide to smile and laugh, that things just don't hurt my feelings, that I don't go home and cry alone, no instead I get met with you're strong, or people trying to tear down the things that they feel makes me strong, and the sad part is is either because they envy me which is just a combination of love and hate, or they want my validation and because they can't get accepted the way they wanted to they decide to tear down whatever it is they thought was cool about me

I watched a video of this guy I think his name was like scooter Braun or something like that and he was at this park and he was doing scooter tricks but he had headphones in, these kids kept trying to get his attention, even though they weren't even skating. And when he wasn't able to give them his attention because he was busy just practicing his tricks and stuff, one of the little boys decides to pour soda on the ramp. He spoke to them and told them that wasn't cool, and even after that they still tried to get his attention in a way to say like oh look I follow you like yeah you're so cool, but he continued letting them know that what they did was whack. Not only did they cuss him off, he threw his soda bottle at him while he was coming up the ramp on his scooter.

I found the whole interaction so interesting, cuz throughout the video the little boy kept yelling yo I follow you I follow you, as if you being a follower and a fan of his work was going to stop him from letting you know the truth of what you just did. And when he didn't like being corrected, he cursed out this guy that he's a fan of. That's what I mean by when people don't get the validation that they wanted from you, these are the things that they're going to do. They are going to go out of their way to disrupt the very thing that they find cool about you because we didn't acknowledge them the way they wanted to be acknowledged. He likes the fact that he's such a great I can't say skateboarder LOL like scooter guy, but then you sabotage his practice all because he doesn't give you the kind of attention that you were seeking to get. And even though that that's a normal behavior in children, it's not normal when people get older. So it has to get corrected at some point

So back to my anger rant. Sometimes I do want to be the real villain that people accuse me of being. People think I'm judgmental? You think I'm judgmental for seeing the ways that you self-sabotage and then telling you that you're self-sabotage? The only thing that's evil about is sometimes is my delivery, that don't mean I'm judging you, I don't have space to judge you. I might have an opinion but if it doesn't tie into what you're going to do in the end, and nothing that I say really matters on what you want to do or going to do, I don't see why that even takes up space. Granted words can hurt so I try my best to word things carefully, but it doesn't mean it's always going to come out right. And instead of just trying to understand the intention of where the person's coming from most people are rather just curse you out because they're offended because they have frail egos. Sorry.

So I get mad when people say stuff like that like Oh silk, you're judgmental. Or silk is definitely the villain in my story and I'm like bro I didn't even get a chance to turn it up yet. I could really be the villain if you want me to. I could I could really do hurtful things to you if you really want me to play this role. Y'all lucky I believe in God and that I also believe in karma cuz if I didn't believe in them two things, the way I would wreak hell on a lot of people...

I will aim for the things that you care about the most. I will show you what a villain truly looks like when they take the mask off. Praise God. Praise God that I don't want to be in that kind of energy. Praise God that I don't want to harness that kind of energy. Praise God that he saved all of us including me, which means I know better. Some of y'all y'all know better. And some of y'all don't, but you know who you dealing with once you touch my energy. And I'm not saying that to sound uppity, but most days I'm exactly who I think I am. I'm not the one that's confused. I have a source inside of me that lets me know who I am at all times, even when parts of me forget, either when my flesh forgets, who I am, I have a spirit, that will always remind me of my origins and the people before me and my ancestor s not just in blood but in spirit. I am who I say I am. So as much as I want to do damage, I know that I was created to create. I was birthed, to give birth. So that means that because life was spoken into me, I'm going to speak life into others, even if that means telling you things that you don't want to hear

So you better be like me and stay prayed up because I'm trying to do my best to not get in trouble with God and that's one of the biggest things that holds me back from tearing some of y'all limb from limb, sending you home to go cry in the dark.

With that being said, if I give somebody a warning to leave me alone. Leave me alone please. Before I actually decide to make things hard for you. Cuz I don't want to do that and that's a waste of time. But it's not a waste of anger, it's a waste of anger for me to be sitting here angry as hell all because you want to disrupt somebody's peace. Go find something to do

And no no one upset me just now it's just like I've been trying to do such a better job of working on my anger issues but some people make it hard. With the last situation, I didn't want to take it there. I literally went to the precinct on this girl I was really ready to get the law involved because I'm not playing these games with you

Or even like I'm not going to lie I was thinking about this earlier last week I think, I heard my ex on the phone and I I have to admit like I was a little perplexed. Because a part of me was slightly envious, but a part of me was also a little pissed cuz I'm like why is it that when it comes to everybody else you can act normal as hell, but when it comes to me you always have to tweak out and try and bully me? And that person is not going to see it as bullying, they're going to say that I look at them in a downward demeanor, but if you're always trying to push your your way on to me and force me out of my comfort zone to do things that make you comfortable, even though we have already addressed the fact that they don't make me comfortable, that's bullying to a degree. And I was perplexed cuz I'm like yo why we couldn't be cool like that? Why you felt like you needed my approval to the point where you needed to push me around? What was that about for real? I'm not your mother that didn't raise you like and I'm not your grandmother who's just going to stand to the side and like whoever talk to them however they want to talk to them. You have the right one

And that's not even no disrespect to Grandma because I love her, I still have her bracelets, she blessed them and gave them to me and I'm going to wear them as long as they last. But like, now I can't have a relationship with her, I can't have a relationship with your baby cousins or even be cool with your auntie all because of you and it's like why would you even want to do that if you're not with that person no more, I was with that person for a good while I would at least like to be like oh tell the little babies I said hi or tell Grandma I said hi cuz I do miss her sometimes but I can't do that cuz me and him not cool and we're not going to be cool because he's a tweaker who can't control himself, and I'm over it

Like I said this is just a rant, I don't even know what I'm upset about completely, I just know I have things I need to fix about myself and I'm really trying to work on my anger. I'm really trying to work on my mouth. But life be testing me

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