#I like to post gif sets when something important happens in my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cy-cyborg · 6 months

Text

Disability Tropes: The Miracle Cure

The miracle cure is a trope with a pretty negative reputation in disability circles, especially online. It describes a scenario in which, a disabled character, through either magic, advanced technology, divine intervention or some combination of the three, has their disability cured throughout the course of the story. Sometimes this is literally, as in the disability is completely and entirely cured with no strings attached. Other times, it looks like giving an amputee character a prosthetic so advanced that it's basically the same as "the real thing" and that they never take off or have any issue with, or giving the character with a spinal injury an implant that bypasses the physical spine's break, or connects to an exoskeleton that allows them to walk again. Sometimes, it can even look like giving a character some kind of magic item or power that negates the effects of the disability, like what I talked about in my post about "the super-crip" trope. Either way though, the effect is the same: The disability is functionally cured and is no longer an "issue" the author or character has to worry about.

But why would this be a bad thing? In a world with magic or super-advanced tech, if you can cure a character's disability, why wouldn't you?

[ID: a screenshot of Roy mustang from Full metal alchemist Brotherhood, a white man with short black hair in a hospital gown. In the corner of the screen is the hand of another person holding a small red gemstone. /End ID]

Well there's a few reasons. First, lets talk about the purely writing related ones. If you've been around the writing or even media critique communities for a bit, you've likely heard people voicing their frustrations with tropes like "The fake-out death" where a character is either implied to have died, but comes back later, or is explicitly shown to be dead and then resurrected. Often when this happens in media, it leaves the audience feeling cheated and like a character's actions and choices don't really matter if even the worst mistakes and consequences can be undone. In the case of the latter situation, where they die and are brought back, it can make the stakes of the whole story feel a lot lower, since even something like death is shown to be reversible, so the audience doesn't really have to worry about anything bad happening to their favourite character, and once you've used this trope one time, people will constantly wonder why you wouldn't use it every time it comes up.

The same is true for "fixing" a character's disability. It sets a precedent that even things as big and life-changing as disability aren't permanent in this setting. We don't have to worry about anything major happening to the characters, there's no risks associated with their actions if it can all be undone, and it will lower the stakes of the story for your audience. Personally, I also feel like it's often used as a cop-out. Like writers wanted to include a major injury the leads to something big like disability for shock value, but weren't sure how to actually deal with it afterwards, so they just made it go away. Even in cases where the character start the story with a disability and are cured, this can still cause issues with your story's stakes, because again, once we've seen you do it once, we know its possible, so we won't feel the need to worry about anything being permanent.

Ok, so that's the purely writing related reasons, but what if that situation doesn't apply to the story you're writing? What if they're "fixed" right at the end, or the way they're cured is really rare, so it can't be used multiple times?

I'm glad you asked, because no, this is far from the only reason to avoid the trope! In my opinion, the more important reason to avoid it is because of how the a lot of the disabled community feels about the miracle cure trope, and the ideas about disability it can perpetuate if you're not very, very careful.

You might have noticed that throughout this post, I've put words like "cured" and "fixed" in quotes, and that's because not every disabled person wants a cure or feels like their ideal to strive for is able-bodied and neurotypical. For many of us, we have come to see our disabilities as part of us, as part of our identities and our sense of self, the same way I, as a queer person might see my queerness as a part of my identity. This is an especially common view among people who were born with their disability or who had them from a young age, since this is all they've ever really known, or who's disability impacts the way they think, perceive and process the world around them, how they communicate with people or in communities who have a long history of forced conformity and erasure such as the autism and deaf communities. Many disabilities have such massive impacts on our lives that we literally wouldn't be who we are today if they were taken away. So often though, when non-disabled people write disabled characters, they assume we'd all take a "cure" in a heart-beat. They assumed we all desire to be just like them again, and this simply isn't the case. Some people absolutely would, and there's nothing wrong with that, but it's not as universal as media representation makes it out to be.

Another reason it's so heavily disliked is because this trope is often used in conjunction with other ableist and harmful tropes or it's used in ways that perpetuate misinformation about living with a disability and it can have ableist implications, even if that's not what the author necessarily intended.

If the miracle cure is used right at the end of the story for example, as a way to give characters a happy ending it can imply that the only way for a disabled character to be happy in the long run, is for them to be "fixed", especially if they were miserable all the way up until that point. If it's used earlier in the story as a way to get said character back into the action, it can also be read as the author thinking that disabled people can't be of use to the plot, and so the only way to keep them around is to "fix" them.

Of course, there's also the fact that some authors and writers will also play up how bad being disabled is in order to show why a cure is justified, playing into the "sad disabled person" trope in the process, which is pretty much what it says on the tin. Don't get me wrong, this isn't to say that being disabled is all easy-breezy, there are never any hard days and you should never show your character struggling, not at all, the "sad disabled person" trope has it's place (even if I personally am not a fan on it), but when both the "sad disabled person" trope and the miracle cure trope are used together, it's not a great look.

This is especially bad when the very thing that cures the disability, or perhaps the quest the heroes need to go on to get it, is shown to be harmful to others or the disabled person themselves. Portraying living with a disability as something so bad that it justifies hurting others, putting others at risk, loosing yourself or killing yourself in order to achieve this cure perpetuates the already harmful idea that disability is a fate worse than death, and anything is justified to avoid it.

I've also noticed the reasons the authors and writers give for wanting to cure their characters are very frequently based on stereotypes, a lack of research in to the actual limits of a person's disability and a lack of understanding. One story I recall reading years ago made sure to tell you how miserable it's main character, a former cyclist, was because he'd been in a car accident where he'd lost his arm, and now couldn't ride bikes anymore, seemingly unaware of the fact arm amputees can, in fact, ride bikes. There are several whole sports centred around it, and even entire companies dedicated to making prosthetic hands specifically for riding bikes. but no, the only way for this to resolve and for him to be happy was to give him his arm back as a magical Christmas miracle! It would be one thing if the story had acknowledged that he'd tried cycling again but just had difficulties with it, or something was stopping him from being able to do it like not being able to wear the required prosthetic or something, but it really did seem as though the author was entirely unaware it was even possible, which is an issue when it's the whole point of your story existing. This happens a lot more often than you'd think, and it's very clear when an author hasn't even bothered to google search if their character would be able to do something before deciding the only solution is to take the disability away.

There's also the frustration that comes from being part of an underrepresented minority, finally seeing a character like you on screen or in a book, only for that representation to be taken away. Disabled people make up roughly 16% of the population (though many estimate these numbers are actually much higher), but only about 2.8% of American TV shows and 4.1% of Australian TV shows feature explicitly disabled characters. In 2019, around 2.3% of films featured disabled characters in a speaking roll, and while it's slowly getting better as time goes on, progress on that front is very slow, which is why its so frustrating when we do see characters like ourselves and so much of their stories focus on wishing to be, trying to become or actually being "cured".

An finally, there's the fact this is just a really common trope. Even if we ignore the issues it can cause with your story's tone and stakes, the harm it can do to the community when not handled with care, the negative perceptions it can perpetuate and everything else. It's just a plain-old overdone trope. It shows up so often that I, and a lot of disabled people, are just getting tired of seeing it. Despite everything I've said, there are valid reasons for people to not want to be disabled, and just like how I made sure to emphasise that not everyone wants a cure, it's important to recognise that not everyone would refuse it either. So long as it's not done in a way that implies it's universal, in theory, depicting someone who would want and accept a cure is totally fine. The issue is though that this trope is so common and so overdone that it's starting to feel like it's all we ever see, especially in genres like sci-fi and fantasy (and also Christmas movies for some reason).

[ID: A Gif of a white man in a top hat nodding his head with the caption "Merry Christmas" down the bottom. /end ID]

Personally, because it's so common, I find even the few examples of the trope used well frustrating, and I honestly feel that it's at the point where it should be avoided entirely where possible.

Ok but Cy, you mentioned there are ways to use this trope well, what are they?

So, like I said, I'm of the opinion that this trope is better off not being in your work at all, but if, for whatever reason, you can't avoid it, or it's use is really that important to the story you want to tell, there are less harmful ways to implement it.

Don't have your only disabled character take the cure

If you really must cure your disabled character's disability, don't make them the only disabled person in the story. Show us another character who, when offered the same cure, chooses not to take it. This at least helps push back a little against the assumption of "of course everyone would want this" that these kinds of stories often imply and doesn't contribute (as much) to disability erasure in the media.

Don't make it a total cure

In real life, there are cures for some disabilities, but they rarely leave no trace. For example, an amputee's limb can sometimes be reattached if it was severed and they received medical treatment fast enough, but it usually results in at least a little nerve damage and difficulties with muscle strength, blood flow or co-ordination in that limb. Often times, these "cures" will fix one issue, but create another. You might not be an amputee anymore, but you're still disabled, just in a different way. You can reflect this in your fictional cures to avoid it feeling like you just wanted to avoid doing the work to write good disabled representation.

Do something interesting with it

I got a comment on my old tumblr or possibly Tik Tok account ages ago talking about their planned use for the miracle cure trope, where their character accepts the cure at the cost of the things that made her life enjoyable post-disability. Prior to accepting the cure, she had found other ways to be independent to some extent and her community and friends helped her bridge the gaps, but they were all taken from her when she was "cured" forcing her into isolation. Kind of like a "be careful what you wish for" sort of thing. The story was meant to be a critique on how society ignores alternative ways of getting the same result and how conforming to other people's ideas of "normal" isn't always what you need to bring you happiness. This was a genuinely interesting way to use the trope I think, and it's a perfect example of taking this trope and twisting it to make an interesting point. If you must use a trope like this, at least use it to say something other than "disability makes me sad so I don't want to think about it too much". Alternatively, on a less serious note, I'm also not entirely opposed to the miracle cure being used for comedy if it fits the tone. The Orville has some issues with it's use of the Miracle Cure trope, but I'd be lying if I said Isaac amputating Gordan's leg as a prank, knowing it could be reversed in a few hours did get a chuckle out of me.

If your villain's motivation is finding a cure for themselves, don't use it as justification for hurting people

Disabled villains need a post all their own honestly, but when a villain's motivation for doing all the terrible things they do is so they don't have to be disabled anymore, it's especially frustrating. Doubly so if the writer's are implying that they're justified in their actions, or at least that their actions are understandable because "who would want to live like that?" Honestly, as a general rule of thumb, avoid making your villains disabled if you aren't disabled yourself (especially if they're your only disabled character), but if they are disabled, don't use the disability as a justification for them hurting people while finding a cure.

So are there any examples currently out there to look at where the trope is used, if not well, at least tolerably?

Yeah, I'd say so, but they're few and far between. Two examples come to mind for me though.

The Dragon Prince:

[ID: A Gif of Ava the Wolf from the Dragon Prince, a light brown, fluffy wolf who is missing her front right leg. /End ID]

The Dragon Prince on Netflix uses the miracle cure twice, but I still really enjoyed the show (at least I did, up until my Netflix subscription ran out, so I've only seen up to season 4). The first time the trope is used in the series, it's actually a fake-out. Two of the main characters, while looking for someone to help them heal the dragon egg they're carrying, encounter a young girl named Ellis and her pet wolf Ava. The two explain their egg is not looking good and they need to find someone to help it, but no one they've found had the knowledge or ability to do anything to help. Ellis says she knows a healer who can help them, and tells them that this healer even restored Ava's amputated leg when she was a pup. When we actually reach this "miracle healer" however, she is revealed to be simply an illusionist. She explains that Ava is still missing her leg, she simply made it look as though she had restored it because Ellis's parents were planning to throw the puppy out, believing it would not survive with its disability and would only be a drain on supplies. This was not actually true and Ava adapted to her amputation very well, she simply needed more time, and hiding her disability and making her appear abled gave her the time she needed to fully recover and adjust. When they return to the healer with the main characters, she removes the illusion and explains why she did it, emphasising that the real problem was never with Ava, but with how people made assumptions about her.

While I do feel it was drawn out a bit too long, I do appreciate the use of the trope as the set up to an overall positive twist. Disability does come with down-sides, it's part of the deal and it would have been nice to see a bit more of that, but for disabilities like amputation in particular, the worst of our problems often come from a lack of adequate support and people's pre-conceived ideas about us, and it was nice to see this reflected, even if it is a little overly simplified.

The second time this trope comes up in the series is when one of the antagonists, Soren, is injured during a fight with a dragon, becoming paralysed from the neck down. His sister, Claudia is absolutely beside herself, believing it was her fault this even happened in the first place, but Soren actually takes his new disability very, very well, explaining that he understands there are things he can't do now, but that there's a lot of things he can still try, that his previous job as a soldier just didn't allow time for. It's possible this reaction was him being in denial but it came across to me as genuine acceptance. He is adamant that he doesn't want a cure right from the beginning because he knows that a cure would come at a cost that he doesn't want his sister to pay, and that he is content and happy with this new direction his life will be going in. Claudia, however, is not content. It had been shown that she was already using dark magic, but this event is what starts her down the path of using it in earnest, disregarding the harm it will cause to those around her. She ignores Soren's wishes, kills several animals in order to fuel the healing spell that will "fix" him, and Soren is pretty clearly shown to be horrified by her actions. What I like about this use of the miracle cure trope is that it touches on something I've seen happen a lot to disabled people in real-life, but that rarely shows up in media - the fact that just because we accept ourselves, our disabilities and our new limits, doesn't mean our friends and family will, unfortunately. In my own life, my mum and dad were always accepting of my disability when I was younger, but as I got older and my support needs changed, my body took longer to heal and I stopped being able to do a lot of things I could when I was little, they had a very hard time coming to terms with it and accepting it. I'm not alone in this either, a lot of disabled people end up cutting contact with friends and family members who refuse to accept the reality of our situations and insist "if we just try harder maybe we won't be so disabled" or "Maybe you will get better if you just do [xyz]". Unfortunately however, some disable people's wishes are ignored completely, like Soren's were. You see this a lot in autistic children who's parents are so desperate to find a cure that they hurt their kids through toxic and dangerous "treatments" or by putting them through abusive therapies that do more harm than good. Claudia has good intentions, but her complete disregard for Soren's decision still harm them both in the long run, leading to the deterioration of their relationship and causing her to spiral down a very dark path.

Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood

[ID: A Gif of Ed from full metal alchemist, a white boy with blond hair, staring angrily at a jar of milk on the table. His brother Al, a sentiant suit of armour, is in the background looking directly at the camera. The caption, spoken by Ed, says "So we meet again you little bastard" /end ID.]

The show does begin with Ed and Al looking for a way to cure their disabilities (which they gave themselves when trying to resurrect their mother as children went horribly wrong). However, when the boys discover that the object needed to do that - a philosopher's stone, can only by made through absolutely abhorrent and despicable means, and using one, likewise, comes at the cost of potentially hundreds or thousands of people's souls, they immediately stop, and shift their focus on finding the stones that had already been made so it can't fall into the wrong hands, and preventing the creation of new ones. The core theme of the show is that everything has a cost, and sometimes the cost is simply too great.

However, right at the end of the show, several characters are healed in a variety of ways. Ed gives up his ability to do alchemy to get his brother's body back, as well as his arm so he can save his friends in the final battle, but neither of the boys come away from this completely "healed". Al's body has not been used since he was a child, and so it is shown he has experienced severe muscular atrophy that will take a long time and a lot of work to recover from, acknowledging that he has a pretty tough road ahead of him. When we see him in the epilogue, he is still on crutches despite this being several months after getting his body back. Likewise Ed is not fully healed, and is still missing one of his legs even if he got his arm back.

The more... interesting use of the trope, however, is in the form of Colonel Mustang who was blinded in the final season. Mustang is shown to take to his blindness pretty well given the circumstances, finding a variety of ways to continue doing his job and reaching his goals. When other characters offer to let him use the philosopher's stone to heal himself however, he takes it, acknowledging that this is a horrible thing to do and that Ed and Al would be extremely disappointed in him if they ever found out. He uses it both to cure his own disability, and to cure another character who was injured earlier in the show. While I'll admit, I did not like this ending, I can at least appreciate that the show made sure to emphasis that a) Mustang was doing fine without the cure, and b) that this was not morally justified. The show spent a very long time drilling into the viewer how morally reprehensible using the stone was, and it didn't try to make an exception for Mustang - you weren't supposed to like that he did that.

When I talk about these tropes, I do try to give them a fair chance and discuss the ways it can potentially work, but I really do want to reiterate that this particular trope really is best avoided. There are ways to make it work, but they will still leave a bad taste in many of your viewer's or reader's mouths and you have to be exceptionally careful with your wording and framing, not just in the scenes where this trope is used, but in the lead up. If you really must use it, I highly recommend getting a few disability sensitivity readers and/or consultants (yes, even if you are disabled yourself) to help you avoid some of the often overlooked pitfalls.

#writing disability With Cy Cyborg #very long post #I could have sworn I talked about this trope already but I couldn't find the post. Apparently I had a lot more to say anyway lol #long post #disability #Disabled #Disability representation #Physical Disability #disability Tropes #Writing #Writeblr #Authors #Disabled Rep #Writing Advice #writing Tips #Disabled Characters #writing disability

523 notes · View notes

harrysfolklore · 2 years

Note

thinking about yn taking bubba into the phone booth and leaving a cute message for harry 🥹 -🫶

STOP DOING THIS TO ME. I CANT STOP WRITING ABOUT THEM

ask me anything | masterlist | likes and reblogs are appreciated ! | if you like what i post consider sending me a tip <3

PHONE BOOTH MESSAGES

With your three year old in hand and covered in your husband’s merch, you walked through the halls of Chicago’s United Center.

Harry was always skeptical about letting you and your baby go out of his sight and roam through the arenas, but he knew how important was for your son to be outside and interact with other people so he doesn’t get overwhelmed with the constant traveling that the tour life required.

Of course, his two bodyguards were following close behind you, he gave them the order to never leave the two of you alone or let anyone get too close to the point that it could be harmful. And they knew better than to let anything happen to the people their boss loved the most.

To celebrate Harry’s sold out shows at United Center, the arena set up different photo ops, Harry’s House themed spaces and what they called “Late Night Talking booths”, and that’s where you were both heading.

You absolutely loved the idea of fans recording messages for your husband that will be on a personalized vinyl for him, and you thought it was a great idea to surprise him with a message from his little bubba, who was getting more and more talkative by the second.

“Mummy, where we going?” he asked in a small voice and you bent down to pick him up, internally groaning because your baby surely got big.

“We’re going to record a message from daddy, baby. Over there in the red booth.” you pointed towards it as you got closer to the place, luckily, not many fans were inside the arena yet and the booth was empty.

“Love daddy.” he cooed, every time his dad was mentioned, he gave a similar reply, the little boy adored his dad more than anyone in the world.

“I know you do, baby.” you cooed back as one of Harry’s guards opened the booth’s door for you, you thanked him quickly before getting inside and grabbing the phone and placing it close to your boy’s little face.

“Go ahead baby, what do you want to tell daddy?” you told your him and it only took a few seconds until he started babbling and babbling about his favorite person.

You knew your husband was going to tear up when he played the vinyl and realized his baby’s voice was there.

The five sold out shows in Chicago were a bliss. You got to enjoy watching Harry doing what he loves the most in the world, and you got to show your son that what his daddy did was something special.

Of course, Harry couldn’t help but mention your baby any chance he got, multiple videos of him saying stuff like “My bubba is in the audience tonight!”, “Look at my bubba, isn’t he cute, he’s so cute” we’re already viral on all social media platforms.

Now you were in your Los Angeles home, getting some rest before he had to go back to playing shows there. Sitting in your large couch with tea mugs in hand and watching your baby play with his plush toys on the floor, you knew it was the perfect opportunity to get him to listen to the vinyl.

“You haven’t played the vinyl they gave you in Chicago, have you lovie?” you asked him as you cuddled to his side, putting your hand on his chest and he couldn’t help but smile when he saw the engagement ring and wedding band -matching his- resting on your finger.

“I surely haven’t, honey. Let me get it and let’s listen to it now, I’m curious about what kind of messages are there” he kissed your hand as he stood up and went on to look for the vinyl, he put it on the record player you kept at your lounging room and his fan’s voices echoed through the room.

You surely got emotional at some of their messages, some saying meaningful stuff like “Thank you for saving my life” “I met my fiancé because of you” “You helped me when no one else did”, and other messages were rather funny, with stuff like “Thanks for draining my bank account” “I skipped school to be here but it was worth it”.

But it was when the little babbles and toddler voice was heard around the room when you fully turned to your husband to see his reaction.

“Who’s that? That’s my bubba, isn’t it?” he said with a small smile as the he heard his little baby babbling stuff like “I love daddy. Daddy is the best and he gives the best hugs”

“Oh baby” Harry cooed as he picked his baby up from the carpet and placed him on his lap, the boy instantly giggling and wrapping his little arms around him “You recorded that for daddy, and your mummy was a cheeky little thing and didn’t tell me” he obnoxiously kissed the boy’s cheeks making him squeal and laugh.

The three of you were the perfect little family, and Harry thanked his lucky stars every night for that.

taglist: @cucciolafaerie @eleanordaisy @sunflowersndpeaches @golden-hoax @alienorknight t @daydreamingofmatilda @sunflowervolume66 @vanteguccir @ivyproblems @ayeshathestyles @stylesmygucci @gimsaysay @rosaliedepp @dontworrysunflower @milfrrynation @manifestrry @iceebabies @harrystylesrecs @pleasingrryyy @harianaswhore e @leadmetogarden @abeanontoast @grapejuice-rry @vrittivsanghavi @msolbesg @tati813 @sad1esgf @ivegotparticulartaste @eviesaurusrex @olivialovesh @itsgabbysblog @theekyliepage @gumballavocadoharry @watermelonsugacry @be-with-me-so-happily @a-strange-familiar @reveriehs @musicforcinemas s @rafeyyyyy @tinydeskwriter r @noooovaaaaa @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mxltifxnd0m @rach2602 @balletdancerry @b-reads-things @juiceboxrry

2K notes · View notes

knoxic · 6 months

Text

A kiss may ruin a human life.

Oscar Wilde

-Masterlist- part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

wc: 2,1k

warnings: miscommunications (but really there's almost no communication at all), self deprecating thoughts, mentions of death, ptsd, insomnia, anxiety, grief(?), angst,

i think that's it but please let me know if there's anything else!

a/n: this work implies that Hotch heard Haley's last breath. timeline is around season 6-7 but it doesn't really matter. this is heavily based on my own experience from death and hearing someone's last breath. Hotch is a little out of character but it'll get better i promise, this was supposed to be something just for myself but i decided to post it, that being said, im already writing part 2!

no use of y/n!

He was distant.

He kept avoiding you, every day, even when you got back to the hotel and had no other choice but to be around each other, he showered and said some casual phrases that he could damn well say to a stranger.

You tried to understand, he was stressed and haven't slept well in days but, fuck, wasn't it happening to everyone else? And they weren't avoiding you...

Asking if he wanted something to eat or if he wanted that shitty coffee just got you a cold and empty answer. "No, thanks.", "I've had enough for today, thank you.", "I'll just finish some files," and etc. Sure he was polite, you don't think he could be rude even if he wanted to, not with someone he was close to at least, but he was always so gentle and warm, had you done something to make him mad?

...

It started off just as every other day started, new case in a city you've never been to before. Sharing a room with your boss meant a different routine than if you shared with anyone else in the team, late nights and early mornings, the sound of pen scratching paper being the first thing you heard when waking up and the last when you were drifting off, you wondered if he even slept at all.

The answer was no, he barely ever slept during a case, especially if he could hear you breathing all night.

He was scared, scared it would happen again. It was unrealistic and he knew, it happened too many times already, but, twice, like that, was terrifying.

Terrifying to the point he was paralyzed, every night you whispered that sweet "Good night, Hotch." and it flipped the switch, he would now spend the night awake to make sure that you would tell him "Good morning, Hotch" in a gentle yet strong voice. That whisper sounded enough like the gasp he heard that one time, and it always immediately set off every trigger he had of that unfortunate day.

Every night he spent with you in the same room he tried to distract himself enough not to hear your steady breaths, finishing random files that weren't so important and sometimes even going as far as writing them twice. When he got tired enough to black out he laid out and hoped the second his head hit the uncomfortable pillow he would be asleep. That never happened.

He kept listening. You sometimes tossed and turned in your sleep and he knew it meant you were probably having nightmares but it always soothed his mind, if you were moving it meant you were still alive, and it blurred the agonizing sound of your breath.

Sometimes he slept, but even when he did, he kept listening, gun shots echoed inside his head, his aching hands clad with blood holding her body, the sound... the horrific, terrifying, agonizing sound of her last breath.

He thought it had stopped, he has triggers of course but, it wasn't always that they were set off like this, usually it happened sometimes when Jack slept on his chest and that meant carrying him to bed, but he normally allowed himself a bit of self care and went to his own room, far enough from his child to hear if he called but not close enough to hear his breaths. Being stuck in a hotel room did not allow him that. He tried soundproof headphones after the second night they spent together a couple years ago, he quickly figured it was somehow more agonizing than being able to hear.

Now, three days into the case he was desperate for a night alone, to drown in complete silence and darkness, thankfully, not what he wanted but close to it, you had gone to Emily's room to discuss something, he didn't know what it was and apparently you didn't care enough to tell him, or you just didn't want him to know.

He held himself back from sprinting to bed right after you left the room, surely it wouldn't look so good if you were to come back because you forgot something or for any other reason, he let 2 minutes pass by, anxiously, getting up quickly to take the fastest shower he could manage and jumped into bed, he almost decided against clothes before reminding himself that sooner or later you would come back, it took more time than he'd like but finally he was now in bed and drifting off quicker than expected.

...

"Emily..." you whimpered.

"Come on... it's Hotch," she rested a hand on your shoulder, "He's probably just going through something, i heard him tell Rossi last week that Jack were having some trouble with school, it might be that, right?"

"Yeah, but i feel like..." Emily was the only one who knew about your confused feelings for Hotch and still you hesitated, "i feel like it's something else... he's been avoiding me and barely looks me in the eye when we're alone."

Emily went silent for a few seconds, looking away and seemed to be deciding carefully what to say.

"Listen, you know i love you and support anything you decide to do, but..." oh god "You should talk to him, not me."

"I came to you exactly because i don't want to talk to him, even if i tried i don't think he would answer" You gave her the most pleading puppy eyes you could manage.

"There's only one way to find out, honey."

After a few more minutes of licking your wounds you gathered yourself enough to face Aaron, walking a little too fast to your shared room just to make sure you wouldn't have time to back down and run back to Emily. Thinking too many things and nothing at all just to distract yourself you ended up opening the door loudly, scaring yourself when the lights were off and you could barely make out the person under the blankets.

Had you really just opened a random door? Fuck!

Until, in your panic state your eyes caught a glimpse of Aaron's bag close to his bed, some files slipped out if it when he drastically dropped it earlier. Relieved, you slipped into the room and closed the door quieter than you had opened it, unsure if Aaron was indeed asleep or if he was pretending just so he wouldn't have to talk to you, a shower seemed to be the best thing to do.

It was weird, a part of you knew he was tired and going to sleep without someone else in the room is sometimes a lot easier, but, the bigger part of you kept thinking that he was doing this just to avoid you, to not have to force out a "Good night." when both of you knew it wasn't good for him, and it hurt.

Shower was indeed a good thing, the warm water doing wonders to your aching muscles and the sound of the water running was a good background for your mind to organize your thoughts. That same sound was what Aaron woke up to.

Looking around searching for what had woken him, he saw the light coming from the bathroom, the door didn't close all the way sometimes, you had to close it hard and he supposed you didn't want to make noise. He also searched for his phone to see the time, check how long it took for you to come back, but in his hustle earlier he had forgotten to pick up his phone, wherever it was he didn't feel like getting up to search for it.

In his sleepy state he had turned to watch the door, not really paying attention to what he was looking out for until he got a glimpse of you wrapping a towel around your body, he hadn't even noticed the sound of the water had stopped, snapping himself out of whatever this was he turned away from the door, right before he saw the light getting brighter and your quiet barefoot steps getting closer, a zipper being opened, rustle of fabric against fabric and the zipper being closed, steps again but this time going away and the room getting darker again.

It didn't take long for you to come back, he could smell the soap you always used, it only took him a couple days sharing a room and a bathroom with you to know every soap or perfume you owned smelled the same, peaches.

It almost physically pained him to not be able to smell it directly from your skin, he had hugged you and stood close enough to smell your perfume but, he knew it wasn't the same as your fresh out of the shower scent. It already smelled so comforting from this far, he was certain he'd go insane if he ever got the chance to hug you like this, out of any police department or hospital smell, just you.

He was so lost in thought he hadn't realized you had already settled in bed.

"Good night, Hotch..." he heard you whisper, so quietly he almost missed it, it made his heart stutter and beat faster.

Did you know he was awake? Did you see him looking at you through the opening door? He didn't see anything but the skin of your arms! Should he answer? No. Stop it, you idiot.

You turned again, again and again. The mattress was hard, the blanket felt like it kept scratching your bare legs, the pillow made you feel like a stone would be comfier, not to mention the discomfort of your mind telling you how uncomfortable Aaron must be to have you around that he even went to bed earlier just so he wouldn't have to see you, you must be pathetic to even have wished him a good night when he clearly didn't want you here-

"Are you okay?" There it was, his husky voice, he was sleeping and you disturbed him.

"Uh- yeah, sorry to wake you up." wow, that came out so weak, he definitely thinks you're pathetic.

The sound of his body turning and his voice that seemed to be right beside your ear made you shiver.

"You keep tossing and turning, your breath is faster than normal," he sighed. "So I'll ask again, are you okay?"

It's now or never.

"Have you- you have been avoiding me." you could hear Emily's voice saying it wasn't so hard was it?.

"No i haven't." that came out way too fast to be true, Hotchner.

"Yes you have, and you can barely even look at me when we're alone, you give me empty words and talk better to a rookie you will never see again," you were rambling but now there was no way you would stop. "If i did something to upset you, please tell me because, i can profile you but i cannot read your mind yet, and i can't apologize if i don't know what i did wrong."

"I-" gosh you were so self deprecating. "I'm sorry i made you feel that way, you did nothing wrong." he said in a weirdly soft voice.

"That- that doesn't make me feel better..."

"I'm sorry... it's... not something you did..." well, if you were talking than he should too. "It's you."

A couple seconds passed but they felt like minutes.

Your heart dropped, "What?" it couldn't be... you knew you weren't perfect but, to know your mind was right yet again felt... nauseating.

"Wait! wait," he was sitting up now, back to the headrest, his hand has making a gesture that you read as a calm down, he did that once with a child, to make them stop their rambling, you really were pathetic.

"Not you, i meant... ah fuck, it's complicated."

Now that you were already broken, you might as well just finish this, for once end what made you anxious, even if it meant losing your hopes of being with Aaron.

Your breath was harder and lost its rhythm. You could be going into a panic attack right now but Aaron was relieved, after hearing the way your voice got so... pained, he thought he ended this, that you would get up and leave him and the memories came back in a rush that made him dizzy, but you were still here, and breathing hard, unlike the breath Haley-

"Then tell me, unless you have something to do at 2am i think we have enough time, tell me. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as complicated as what we had going on." your voice was steady, no longer the panicked and embarrassed girl who just got rejected by their crush, that was the voice of a woman who took down seral killers for a living, who could damn well talk face to face with him if they were to fight. Now he felt small, he could tower over you if you two were standing up but he knew you were the bigger person.

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine

251 notes · View notes

mylovelies-docx · 9 months

Text

Sorry, I Love You - Part 9

Oh wow, a new chapter? Who'd have thunk it.

My posting schedule is all off and I honestly don't know if I can get it back under control. I have no idea when I'll get time to sit down and write and when inspiration will strike, so I can't assure weekly updates. But I'll try my hardest to get this story out! I have future chapters written, it's just that I have no way of connecting them right now :/ Oops.

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: Ah shit, here we go again. Angst, arguments, jealousy

Word Count: 2,250

Tag List: NOW CLOSED! If you'd like to keep up with this story, please follow my blog and turn on notifications! ❤️ you :)

[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5][Part 6][Part 7][Part 8]

Some moments are easier than others. Sometimes you feel like you’re not pining like a love-sick teenager enough to think that you can actually do this – you can actually be friends with the man you love.

But then there are moments like tonight.

A few weeks have passed since community get-together, and you and Bucky are the new kids in town. Everyone drops by to say hello, leave you with enough food to last the winter, and invite you both back to their homes for dinner. It’s all very sweet, and you would appreciate the hospitality in any other situation.

But the amount of mothers trying to marry their daughters off to Bucky is insane.

Several have not-so-subtley seated Bucky next to daughters of marriageable age, while everyone else is silently discouraged from interrupting their conversations. It skeezes you out when the girls are barely out of their teens, but most of the girls are around your age or older. Morality-wise, that’s a whole lot more appropriate. Internal monologue-wise, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh doesn’t even begin to cover it. What you feel whenever he laughs at something they say, or looks at them with his intense blue eyes – it hurts. That’s how he used to look at you, once upon a time. Like his life wouldn’t be the same without you in it, like you’re one of the most important people in his world.

To be fair to Bucky, you probably read waaaay more into it than he ever meant. And you only ever really saw that look come out when you were straddling his waist and grinding hard on his cock, skin mottled with his teeth marks and wearing his metal hand as a necklace.

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Anyway,

You’re usually placed next to older, widowed relatives, as most of the young men in the town have already settled down and popped out a few kids with their spouses except for Petre. Tessa foists the two of you together at every possible opportunity, hoping you’ll hit it off and decide to get married in the near future.

Petre is nice, smart, cute, but not really your type. You’re convinced that you’ve only ever had one type and he’s off-limits. But Petre’s company is much more enjoyable than the sad, lonely older men they try to pair you with – it never feels great to be compared to someone’s long lost love – so you don’t mind having someone around your age to talk during these things.

Speaking of.

“It’s a nice night, yeah?” Petre comments. The night is warmer than expected, but you and Petre are still bundled up in your coats as you stroll through the dead copse of trees near the latest dinner party. The sun had set only minutes ago and the stars are making their presence known. There’s next to no light pollution in this area, so you always take the time to admire the night sky when you have the chance.

You often take walks with Bucky up and down your street as a way to decompress after your shifts at the HYDRA facility. After the first week or so of being everyone’s errand-runner, they’ve slowly built up your workload to include calculations and deductions based on redacted data – it’s not as much information as you’d like, but it’s enough to build a foundational understanding of what the experiment was about.

You hum in agreement and continue walking. It’s about time to turn around and head back, but you can’t bring yourself to return only to watch Bucky flirt with the pretty girls that were also invited.

“Is something the matter?” Petre asks you.

You startle out of your petty, jealous thoughts. “Hm? Oh, no. Nothing’s wrong,” you reply with a smile.

“It’s just that you seem very distracted tonight,” he responds.

With your hands in your pocket, the only thing you can do is shrug your shoulders. “Just tired, is all. It’s been a long week at the office.”

“Ah, I know the feeling,” Petre commiserates.

All of the sudden, a wailing, piercing shriek ricochets between the tree trunks and reverberates in your ears. Tensing with adrenaline, you take two steps forward, ready to intervene in whatever events are unfolding in the darkness.

Before you get much further, Petre reaches out and takes hold of your elbow. Turning you around, he starts leading the way back. You try to tug your arm from his grip, but he holds firm.

“The cry of a vixen who is looking to mate. They’re rather vicious creatures this time of year, foxes. We don’t want to get in her way,” Petre deters.

“But…” you begin, looking back over your shoulders and watching for unexpected movement among the swaying branches. “It sounds so real.”

“Terrifying, really. I was just as concerned when they began, as well.” Petre gives you a tight smile and relaxes his grip slightly when you stop trying to pull away.

“What do you mean?” you question.

“What?” Petre’s eyes flash around quickly, looking through the woods that surround you.

“‘When they began’. What do you mean by that?”

“Ah,” Petre replies. “When mating season began.”

There’s no more discussion on the eerily accurate sound of a woman in distress. You can only trust that Petre would know the local fauna and their habits better than you, since you’ve never spent an extended period of time in areas such as this.

***

The neighbor’s house finally comes into view. A lone figure stands silhouetted against the porch as they lean against the railings, their arms braced against the banister and posture rigid. When you get closer, you realize that the figure is Bucky.

You can’t see his face, but you can feel his eyes on you. And apparently Petre can as well.

“He doesn’t like me?” Petre asks.

“Why do you say that?” The question puzzles you because Bucky has no reason to dislike Petre. He’s been incredibly helpful so far, allowing you to ask as many questions as you want about himself and others and he doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. In fact, you feel as if you and Petre have become friends.

“It just seems like he’s never happy to see me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that – James just has RBF,” you reply nonchalantly.

“RBF?” Petre replies.

You laugh as you and Petre climb the stairs, only now realizing that he still has a hand on your arm. You’d forgotten all about it, but you miss the slight warmth that permeated through your jacket when he removes his touch. You turn to look at him, but Petre is looking away, his hands now deep in his pockets. Turning your focus onto Bucky, you see him watching Petre, his eyes squinted.

A large smile returns to your face as you reach up and grab Bucky’s chin, squishing his cheeks and making his lips pucker from the pressure. “This –” you say triumphantly, “is an RBF.”

Bucky glares down at you and swats your hand away. You cackle at the perfect example of Resting Bitch Face™ in front of you, throwing your head back in joy. When you right your posture again, you can see a small smile on Bucky’s face as he laughs along with you.

“Whatever,” he murmurs. He shakes his head in exasperation before circling his arm around your shoulders. Bucky begins dragging you back down the steps you had just ascended and you grunt in protest. “It’s time to go,” he says simply.

“Ugh, you’re so rude,” you say to him. Craning your neck as much as possible, you look back towards Petre who remains on the porch. “I’ll see you later!” you call backwards with a wave. Petre raises a hand in return, face hidden in shadow as Bucky’s had been.

Focusing back on the road in front of you, you can practically feel what little mirth Bucky had drains away. Looking up, you notice that his jaw is clenched and a hard look has entered his eye.

“What’s wrong?” Now you’re worried that something happened to Bucky while you were gone that has put him in a bad mood. Did someone say something to him? Did one of the women reject his advances? You can’t see who in their right mind would turn him down, but not everyone feels the same way about him as you do. But if it’s the latter, the guilt you feel only slightly outweighs the relief.

“You don’t think you’re spendin’ too much time with him?” Bucky says between clenched teeth.

A frown appears between your eyebrows as you continue to look up at him. “No?” you respond. “He doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Ofcoursehedoesn’t,” Bucky mutters under his breath, but you can still hear him.

You slide out from under Bucky’s hold, his agitation sparking flames of your own. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You don’t think you’re leadin’ him on a bit, Y/N?” Bucky asks you.

You scoff. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You’re always hangin’ around him!” Bucky quips back. “You’re flirting with him and walking out of parties together. All these people, Petre included, are going to think you’re pitching for an engagement.”

The hurt and pitiful feelings from earlier tonight come flooding back. Only this time, instead of feeling them for what they are, you combine them with the anger his comment brings. How dare he accuse you of leading Petre on? As if he isn’t doing the same thing to all those girls?!

“And what about you?!” you yell, the last word ripping its way between your lips and setting your tongue ablaze. “You don’t think you’re stringing all these girls along behind you? You don’t have any intention of getting into a relationship with any of them, either, do you?”

As the words escape, you remember how Bucky sat you down and asked for a friends-with-benefits situation. Said he wasn’t ready for a real relationship, but tired of one night stands. How the two of you could help each other out since you weren’t seeing anyone either. The old resentment towards yourself and how you let yourself fall for someone wholly unavailable whiplashes back into your mind after months of repressing it.

If he could ask that of you, does that mean he’s asked someone else? You usually arrive home later than him, but on some occasions that you are released early, he’s not there. Instead of asking where he’s been, you had just let it slide since it could have been construed as possessiveness. Like your feelings – that Bucky believes to be long gone – entitle you to his life. You hadn’t wanted to risk anything at the time, but now your mind can’t help running wild at the possibilities.

“It’s not like I’m screwing his brains out every time we’re gone!” You shout at Bucky. You had been walking down the road away from the house party which was on a street with few homes, so there’s nobody around to hear your fight. “We’re not in the bathrooms having quickies, he’s not fucking me against a wall, or bending me over his motorcycle! He hasn’t proposed we fuck around with each other until someone better comes along!”

Your chest heaves with the effort of expelling these vicious words from deep within your heart, and you can feel a burning beginning to creep behind your eyes. You hate getting angry – hate that any strong emotion makes your eyes well with tears and makes you look weak. And in this situation, you are weak – weak against Bucky, weak against yourself, weak against the knowledge that the one man you’ve ever loved never felt the same way and never will. Your inability to keep yourself from falling for someone you knew you could never have? Your jealousy that he is probably sleeping with one or more of the women in town? That makes you weak.

And you can’t stand to be weak in front of Bucky again.

“Newsflash, Buck: I know how it feels to be lead on by you and it fucking sucks!” You lower your voice slightly and take another step away from him. “I know that wasn’t your intention, and I didn’t feel that way at first, but that’s how I feel now.”

“You were my best friend, Y/N – I didn’t want to lose that!” Bucky exclaims. “And I genuinely thought we were on the same page!” He takes a deep breath and clasps his hands over his eyes before saying, “And seeing you run off with Petre all the time just reminds me of us – how we’d always sneak away to get some time alone. It’s just –” He drops his hands and sighs heavily, looking up at the star-studded sky and then back down to you. “I’m jealous.”

“You’re jealous?” You ask incredulously. “Why?”

“Because –” You can tell that he’s struggling to get this out, and if he hadn’t started this argument and accused you of wronging Petre, you might have been more receptive to what he’s saying. More understanding. But right now, your anger swallows all empathy and hope that his words would usually supply. “Because that could have been us,” he breathes. Bucky takes a tentative step in your direction, but freezes solid at the icy glare you send his way.

“No,” you say flatly, “No, it couldn’t have. You made that abundantly clear when I asked.”

You turn your back on him and start running, ignoring the sound of your name as you leave Bucky behind.

Part 10

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewifeife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshinee @happinessinthebeingg @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #sorry i love you

375 notes · View notes

sonkitty · 3 months

Text

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection Part 4 (Good Omens 2)

Last Updated: 04/18/2024

(For reference, start here: The Pocket Trick - Basics | The Pocket Trick Visual Representation | GIFs | The Pocket Trick - Tied Hands)

Main post:

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection

Here are Parts 1-3:

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection Part 1

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection Part 2

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection Part 3

This part covers The Door Trick and The Door Catch.

Theory. So much theory.

Problems

I will admit freely, my understanding of what is happening here is quite limited.

Still, I will share it as I think it's enough to hold some value nonetheless.

There are two left hands with desirable traits that pass by Crowley's right.

One left hand has a left thumb joint touching a lapel edge. Another left hand has a full set of visible digits. Both of these things are requirements in The Pocket Trick touches of a similar nature.

I believe using both of them requires a full 360-degree flip of the imaginary mirror for the Tied Hands while at the same time trying to make sure that Orange goes to Yellow and Yellow is what connects first, not Green or any other color. That means hitting Yellow twice in a row.

Because of such complications, there is something akin to a color wheel with humans and their bags fully pocket-framing the "Life begins after coffee" sign. It's not a full color wheel because it lacks green and has such limited blue, but one human who is probably representing the Tied Hands in Crowley's place with her arm swinging, has a blue-green strap on one of her bags and blue-green stripes, of a lighter shade the than the bag strap, on part of her shirt.

There are 4 non-rainbow shades around that do various things in this Rainbow Connection mechanic. I'll go into my struggles with them more deeply later with the Heaven elevator itself.

As things are now, I don't know which color goes where and how, but I believe the result is changing the direction of the connection with a skip to Purple and back up to Yellow.

Orange does get to Yellow, but then because of the skip-and-back to hit Yellow a second time, the next intended color is Orange again instead of Green. The goal is not Orange again. The goal is to hold onto Yellow until Crowley's Green is ready. So, that requires a deflection that lets the connection redirect back down instead of up.

Such a thing is inadvertently resolved by the Metatron. It took some time for me to get it, but there is a hidden message about him in this part of the game when considering the word play mechanics: "The Metatron makes mistakes". That's alliteration and a rhyme. Without that message, I've described the Metatron's play as feeling like "cheating without realizing it or the story is not letting him play fully, just partly."

Without meaning to, he sets the connection back on track. That's why Aziraphale is stuck at Yellow for so long and what the blinking red lights mean. Aziraphale himself doesn't seem aware through his voice and manner of what is happening, but the actions he takes do otherwise look like an effective stalling tactic for the Rainbow Connection.

I am pleasantly taken aback by that hidden message, but I still think it's there since it fits within this puzzle.

Alright, here goes...

The Door Trick

Orange. Based on the way this scene starts, I think the Tied Hands' imaginary mirror flips right away.

Crowley's pants are reflected in the Bentley. Although Orange is not visibly reflected in the Bentley's surface yet, it will be. At the start of the cut, the Orange of an orange bag is visually touched by one of the Bentley's mirrors. I think Car Mirrors is Crowley's Pocket Frame for this Trick and contributing to so much of what is happening. The hood ornament looks like it's trying to be important for its role to play as well.

In the initial two touches of The Pocket Trick, each has something I consider over-the-rainbow touches, and I have long struggled to find the over-the-rainbow touches here.

Here, there is at least one of the car mirrors touching over the Orange. Crowley's legs are crossed with one of his shoes over the shoe of a different human behind Crowley's shoe. So, these tactics are considered sufficient, along with anything else I missed.

Crowley's left hand fingers look to be claiming Yellow, Green, and Black for use. The index finger is visually over a Green and Yellow sign. Zoomed in, I can't actually tell if the index fingertip is on one more than the other. His other fingers are visually over a human's Black attire.

The human holding the Orange bag might be the "Fish" in looking for Bullet Catch magic word references. The pattern on her skirt looks like scales. My instincts had been to look at the cars and a human on a scooter, but visually, this pattern still looks like the closest match. I can't find the fish anywhere else. Because of the other guesses and references I found, I also think these are all supposed to be done no later than Aziraphale being linked into the Pocket Chain. The "dash of nutmeg" will be last even though the order before it will not match the exact order the words are said in the 1941 minisode.

...

There is an actual rainbow found between the left side of Crowley's torso and his left forearm. The rainbow places itself over closed rear car window, the open front car window and well past the edge of the left forearm, questionably all the way to the other edge. This rainbow helped emphasize something happening with the shoes I will not cover here, but this part also looks to be the game's cue that this rainbow is either what allows the incoming flips or is telling an audience player that the over-the-rainbow touches are due to how Crowley's apparel-to-car pocket is structured.

According to this post, the rainbow "doubles up," and there is two of them. Honestly, that's not what I see. The second seeming-rainbow is almost certainly contributing for whatever it is because great care is taken with the lighting overall, but I personally would not fully qualify it as an "official" rainbow because I can't distinguish its color set well enough, even with some tweaks in trying to edit the screenshot with brightness or saturation. Still, there is going to be a link to the Pocket Chain, and two characters are going "up" later.

...

Red alert. Although a red alert is given, the available Yellow is limited. The car itself blocked the nearby yellow lines to it before the red alert was on. The main Yellow on screen is like an Orange-Yellow on a license plate to further add to the confusion. More clearly later within this Trick, Gray will be shown as what can shade a color to a proper form in the Rainbow Connection. There is no nearby solid Gray to this license plate.

Otherwise, there are some yellow lines near the pub and the letters for The Dirty Donkey. I don't know which factors are keeping them at bay, but I do believe that's happening and can at least point out a few things. For instance, there is a human on a scooter between the car giving the red alert and the one with the orange-yellow license plate. This human is making a pocket with their legs and hinting at whatever is going on with the shoes. They have a patterned shirt and black pants.

The human with the black hat is who I call "Nutmeg" though her colors are strongly associated with Black and some Red. She is who is going to link the Pocket Chain to Aziraphale later. I'm making this Bullet Catch reference based on the color of her bag strap and the small part of that strap that will link to a pocket user near Aziraphale.

Since I suspect Yellow is hit twice later, is it my very uncertain hope that something here is delaying the switch long enough for what needs to be done. That most likely seems to be the red alert being boxed in by Nutmeg and humans on the other side of it. Black can block under the right circumstances, and Nutmeg has notable Black. There's a human wearing purple in front of the car with the red alert. He's probably important here for the eventual skip-to-Purple-and-back, and he is definitely important later for Aziraphale's part.

If you look behind the human girl with the cell phone and a light pink sweater and the man with a cell phone next to her, you can catch glimpse of another human with a Black hat. I don't know if she contributed to this Connection part or not, but she is, I believe, the "Gorilla" in Bullet Catch magic word references due to her movement within this cut itself. She wears mostly Black and was hunched over as she hurried along early on into the cut. Every other found reference contributes, so I would think she does too.

Orange. The human with the orange jacket has a lovely touch between her left thumb joint and the lapel edge of her jacket. The blur thing on the car is probably putting in a pass for her, so we can take that touch in with the first hit to Yellow. I believe she is "Shoelace" when searching for magic word Bullet Catch references. She is relevant to the non-rainbow thing happening with the shoes. Her shoelaces aren't visible here, but they are visible later. If the shoe links to the Rainbow Connection, I haven't figured out how, and it's a lot to go over. So, for now, I've set it aside. But it is happening, and it is relevant to something I'll mention further down.

While Shoelace is by Crowley, a pocket user wearing a yellow shirt and dark gray open vest is in a window pane reflection near Crowley and Yawning Yellow. His reflection is going to appear again in the upcoming window pane for him. The main clue his reflection isn't causing the switch here and now is there are no red alerts, and there is going to be something soon. So, this part is, just guessing as usual, preparing for that first switch to Yellow. Due to the shade of his yellow and visible left arm, I think of him as "Banana" when looking for Bullet Catch references.

The tie strands are never shown as moving with Crowley standing so still, but they do move while off camera between each of the three cuts given from in front of Crowley. That can be found through comparing screenshots of each cut.

Orange. This part is probably linking up the human fully blocking Crowley's left hand with his tie strands, so she can represent their swinging in how her left arm swings. We'll call her Tie Swinger.

Yellow #1. Orange is reflected in the car with red alert lights at the same time. The earlier thumb joint touch is received with the switch. With the suspected 360-degree flip, this part is the 180-degree place in between, and something about the color wheel will finish the trickery rather fast. The human who seems to be most likely responsible for such trickery is the one wearing a purple jacket and holding a yellow bag. He has a little bit of blue visible in the collar of his shirt.

The visual cue for this being the 180 is mainly Yawning Yellow's right hand becoming visible, further supported by the nature of the arm-swinging happening by Tie Swinger.

For over-the-rainbow touches, the same mirror that was over the orange bag is now over the yellow jacket. While the actual rainbow from the first front-facing cut of Crowley is gone, this one does show the car hood ornament in front of Crowley, acting as the bottom of his top apparel-to-car pocket and being over a front edge of the car itself.

Yellow #2. Tie Swinger is pocketing the yellow of a yellow bag, holding the line for it and sending it over through the connection. If White is needed for that hold, it can be found with the visual touch on the white letters to the "Life begins after coffee" sign. Yawning Yellow has a lighter shade of Yellow in her jacket, and the Gray in her pants is compensating for it to still qualify as a proper Yellow. The black in her jacket may be doing something too. She is further assisted through Banana, whose reflection can now be found in the other window pane near her.

A human wearing Black and White, including a white turtleneck, is further solidifying things where they need to be. I am yet to find a relevant pun or word play with what a turtleneck does for pocket trickery, but I assume it does something because Crowley wore a Black turtleneck for the first two touches of The Pocket Trick. Conceptually, turtles are slow, so maybe it slows things down. Something probably worth mentioning is that in Terry Pratchett's Discworld, there is a very famous turtle, the Great A'Tuin, that the four elephants holding up the disc of Discworld stand on.

Anyway, Banana's reflection can be found in the window pane behind Yawning Yellow. The big blurry head on the right of the screen is probably giving Green a pass, so it's not sent too early. Yet another human has a mirrored-head thing happening behind Yawning Yellow that probably does something too.

The human most directly behind Crowley has a brown jacket and an excellent alignment of his arm with Crowley's existing pocket between himself and his car. That human's elbow is like the other side of a diamond from what can be seen of Crowley's left hand. I think of him as "Diamondback". He's also a pocket user himself.

So, if his Brown is necessary for the following wording to borrow, it's there:

Yawning Yellow lends Crowley a hand with a full set of visible digits.

Yellow. Here is the actual link to the Pocket Chain from Crowley to Aziraphale. It's through Nutmeg and the pocket user wearing a white fur coat. There isn't much yellow here, but there is a yellow light that is going to be Aziraphale's overhead light eventually...but not yet. The blue car goes on a stronger red alert after this part. Due to how things go, that alert is probably more for getting the Metatron linked in as well because he looks to be putting his hands in his pockets at that point.

There are also yellow lines touching Nutmeg, but as noted, Black can block under the right circumstances. Are those circumstances here? If they are, the overhead light makes up for it because there is going to be Yellow on display for quite a bit in the incoming cuts.

The "Donkey" sign is questionably yellow as well, but there's no nearby solid gray to assure that to be the case. The Metatron's coat could look dark gray in the lighting, but it's actually a dark brown.

So, given all of the surrounding circumstances, my own guess still looks to the overhead light as the Yellow of relevance for everything that's about to happen.

Please take a look at this post: More evidence.

I have a lot of thoughts I haven't fully processed on what that thing is, but I do believe it is generally relevant to this particular cut. I suspect Aziraphale puts it back in his mouth after Nutmeg passes by him visually and before the actual link to the Pocket Chain.

Yellow for both Aziraphale and the Metatron. They are sharing the connection. Each one is going to keep having a touch on Yellow for a bit. Aziraphale receives focus, but the Yellow is visually touched by the Metatron, not Aziraphale. The Metatron is allowing himself to be visually touching Aziraphale here.

Yellow for both Aziraphale and the Metatron. The Metatron receives focus. Aziraphale visually touches the Yellow, not the Metatron. Aziraphale is not visually touching the Metatron as the Metatron did for him. A human wearing orange passes by behind the Metatron though yet another human passes by more closely to the Metatron. The orange is gone from the cut by the time the cut itself finishes.

Yellow for Aziraphale. He has Green nearby and not ready. He also has some Orange up near his head. With both him and the Metatron having visually touched Yellow, Aziraphale now has yellow lights visible by his head. He's visually touching those this time

The Green is touching that Yellow too. Aziraphale's still stuck on Yellow for awhile though. A small bit of Yellow touches the Metatron during the cut. Meanwhile, someone wearing what seems to be Black is pocketed between the two by the end of the cut. I can't figure out what they might block in this moment. Instead, it might be relevant to how Crowley's touch will be on black between edges in his own final cut for The Door Trick.

Yellow for both Aziraphale and the Metatron. The Metatron receives focus. Aziraphale visually touches Yellow without the Metatron again. He is not visually touching the Metatron again either. The Yellow starts to walk away.

Deflection. I suspect due to the nature of the game and the trick with the words that deflection happens first here, redirection happens in the next cut of the Metatron, and disconnection happens in the cut after that.

The red alert lights blink once, giving a warning about the status of things. The Metatron starts to turn around while they are blinking.

The Metatron has no overhead light, or even the little yellow lights Aziraphale had. He was not seen with green in his front view shots after being linked through the Pocket Chain. He doesn't block Aziraphale's head completely, but he does block Aziraphale's face. Aziraphale's right ear is still visible, which probably helps with Aziraphale's own overhead light later.

The shadows of the green leaves hit the Metatron's face. That's the front. Crowley had help from "Diamondback". Aziraphale was linked in with his back to Crowley. Aziraphale's back is what's going to get the shadows later.

The red alert lights blink again with their warning. The blink is done before the end of the cut with Orange still visibly on the screen. Hopefully, that's the deflection.

A switch to Orange for Aziraphale does not happen. Did it happen for the Metatron? I suspect not because they are still connected. It was technically on screen by the end of the cut, but the Metatron was making mistakes in the process.

Yellow. Aziraphale's still on Yellow himself thanks to the deflection. He's still not ready yet, so again, he probably needs a redirection. Two sets of red alert lights are on. There are yellow lights by Aziraphale's head and a human with blurry yellow clothing. This time, with the Metatron out of the way, the blurred clothing touches Aziraphale behind him. The first set of red alert lights go off with that blurred yellow behind Aziraphale. When the yellow reappears on the other side of Aziraphale, the second set of red alert lights go off. Yellow has been properly received or maintained. Aziraphale does his mixed emotions facial expression. The red alert is still off at the end of the cut.

Redirection, I hope. The Metatron is heavily lacking in rainbow colors. There is maybe a little blue in his tie, which is not enough, or with mechanics as complicated as these, is actually just blue enough to move things where they need to go for the incoming disconnection. The camera work and movement suggest that the redirection in this cut is from the patterned interior of the Metatron's coat. Look at those shadows on Aziraphale's coat that will somehow help keep Green later.

Disconnection. If the blue helps disconnect, it happens here. Another contributing factor could be the visible darker straight lines on the white shirt.

Yellow. Even though this cut does not have blurred yellow clothing as others have done, it still seems to be enough to maintain Yellow thanks to the Metatron. Orange passes and is gone. Another shade that's hard to really call yellow passes the other way. Due to its timing, it and the yellow lights near Aziraphale's head are enough. That might have been helped by the gray in the elevator and its more colorful buttons not being shown yet. Aziraphale's bow-tie being tartan probably helps something somewhere.

Aziraphale turns his head with the red alert light still on by the end of the cut. This time it's for the look to Crowley. I really don't think the Rainbow Connection switches to Green until after we see Crowley.

Yellow. Despite the nearby reddish clothing and orange-ish clothing, no switch happens here though Green is being gathered or kept for the incoming switch through the nearby humans. I assume Aziraphale is maintaining Yellow thanks to the Overhead Light.

The human with the white shirt and brown backpack is probably helping or the extra blurs from humans in the foreground are helping so that said brown-backpack human can help later. He's blocked in the shot I chose, but he is there.

I consider this moment, Ground Zero for The Door Catch. It has not truly started until we see Aziraphale's shoes on the ground. That's part of the shoes thing I mentioned earlier. A lot of effort is being put into the shoes not being shown to help communicate this Ground Zero moment.

The challenge from the game is to guess what he's thinking or saying, and many audience players will opt for "Trust me" because of The Bullet Catch. That's an understandable choice because this Magic Trick is so deeply inspired by The Bullet Catch. The sequences at the end are designed to give the audience that impression. You'll find it is one of the most commonly played puzzles people remark on in the entire thing.

But it's a Trick. So, the answer is not "Trust me". Crowley is already trusting Aziraphale by setting the stage for him. The answer is actually, "Here goes nothing."

Sure, that's still a guess, but it is one of my more certain guesses the more I play the game.

One of the rules I've noted in the Threshold Tricks is, "Never do the same trick twice."

So, "Trust me," was already done. Been there. Done that. It's a no-go move. Yes, I'm playing with the words on purpose here.

Here are some other reasons I grow more and more sure:

The concept of zero or null is showing up in my readings of Terry Pratchett's work. Aziraphale says "nothing" at least three times during season 2. He says "nothing of the sort" when Maggie calls him an angel in episode 1. He says "nothing for me" when at the pub in episode 2. He says, "Nothing lasts forever," to Crowley earlier this episode. I suspect that particular line, "Nothing lasts forever," is significantly linked to this answer to the puzzle.

In one of the "Episode 0" Behind-The-Scenes specials for Good Omens 2, Neil Gaiman says something to the effect of he is trying his hardest to tell people "absolutely nothing" when they ask what's going to happen.

Moving past the hidden "Here goes nothing" line, Aziraphale's right ear is not visible. It was shown earlier with the deflection and the cut between the deflection and redirection. On the redirection, it was not clear. Aziraphale was blurred from the back. However, the Metatron had two because his right ear was shown and reflected in the window pane. Then for the disconnection, the Metatron's right ear disappeared from view. Meanwhile, Aziraphale's right ear was shown in the cut after the disconnection.

That last part was the cut before this Ground Zero moment.

In addition to all the ear things happening above, the two humans who pass over him both have their right ears available.

All of those things are supposed to help allow—or even require—Aziraphale to not show his right ear with the Overhead Light on screen.

Green. Crowley's Green is ready. Not long after this part, Crowley has an illusionary touch on Black to the bag being carried behind him. That touch will be between edges, which is unusual. That moment is Aziraphale's cue to begin.

...

The Door Catch

Green. Aziraphale's Green is ready. The overhead light is gone—or moved. There is some yellow light near his head, but it's not the same and through a different window. This cut is the official beginning of…The Door Catch.

Blue and Purple together. There was a small pocket of light that this pair of humans reached together. The one with the darker blue pants is who covered it fully with one of his legs. That light suggests that the blue and purple switch at the same time with these guys looking like they have three legs for two people.

The Blue connects to one of Aziraphale's shoes. The Purple connects over by Aziraphale's right hand and various parts of Aziraphale's clothing, including notably the edge where the coat meets the pants.

In the previous iterations, there was a double purple in The Pocket Trick's Double and then a possible double red in The Pocket Trick's Single. Since a skip-to-purple-and-back already happened with The Door Trick, connected to The Door Catch, my guess then is that a double purple to start going back up is not required.

I don't think the Rainbow Connection is at Red or Yellow despite those colors being on-screen in this cut.

This part is for Aziraphale to take a deep breath and make sure his bow-tie touches his skin.

Remember that thing from earlier that I said I thought Aziraphale put in his mouth?

Here is my preliminary guess:

That thing is a shrunken version of one of Crowley's own "thumb joints" of his Tied Hands, so that Aziraphale can have one here.

I don't know a lot about the logistics, but here are clues for why I think that. When I first saw that post, a clasp "thumb joint" was my first guess, but then I contemplated those things are too big.

However, in reviewing the minisodes for other reasons (my Sideburns Scheme posts), I noticed that Crowley uses his tongue when readying himself to make himself bigger in The Resurrectionists. He also used his tongue to make himself smaller in season 1. So, if he can shrink his general self, he could theoretically shrink this special part of himself.

I'm still mentally working through some other questions and ideas so am not sure. That's still where I am for now.

Plus, this possible "thumb joint" lines up with the knot in Aziraphale's bow-tie. When the bow-tie touches the skin, that is when it is most shiny.

Since Aziraphale's not going to have his actual hands doing certain things on screen, he's going to have to rely on his own version of his own Tied Hands. This thing being where it is suggests Aziraphale's Tied Hands are going to need at least one thumb joint. He might even need only one thumb joint because the other hand is "tied behind his back" for word play silliness. Only his left hand was visible by the end of the preceding cut, for example.

For Crowley's touches, Crowley himself needs a clothing contact on his right-partly-pocketed hand for his own touches.

So, this is something like that. A crucial mistake the Metatron is going to make is not having a thumb joint visible in a particular cut.

If the Yellow serves a purpose, as well as the colors on Aziraphale's own clothes, it's to help reach for the Green from earlier.

The red alert is off before Aziraphale is shown to enter the elevator.

Green. Somehow, many things leading to this moment are letting Aziraphale keep his connection at Green, thanks to the shadows on his coat. The words that come to mind are "stretch" or "share". The "stretch" seems more likely because I think of it as Aziraphale reaching back for the Green. See, his back on screen is even telling me so. I mentioned other "back" things earlier.

Pocket Frame. This video frame contains Aziraphale's Pocket Frame. It also contains the Metatron's Pocket Frame.

However, thanks to the disconnection, the Pocket Frames themselves are different.

I believe Aziraphale's is Elevator Edges. Thanks to the Metatron's pocket use and finger being exactly where it is, he is such an edge himself.

Meanwhile, the Metatron's Pocket Frame is Doorknobs.

The Metatron is properly framed between doorknobs of the pub doors, but...the Heaven elevator buttons are the equivalent of doorknobs for its threshold. The framing from the scene itself is strongly suggesting that to be the case due to how the buttons are shown with the Hell button further to the camera's left and visually behind one of the doorknobs where they all generally are on the camera's right.

The Metatron's finger is on the Heaven button. He is touching his Pocket Frame with the tip of his index finger. I suspect that is a mistake on his part due to the implied message from the game that's what he's doing in general. While we're at it, he never revealed a thumb shown from his right hand on the clothing when using his right coat pocket.

In the window pane, there is a reflection of Aziraphale's head over the Metatron's.

I am missing some valuable words I wish I could tell you about this significance. I sense from the nature of the game and what is happening with this special Magic Trick, that reflection is supposed to be to Aziraphale's advantage and the Metatron's disadvantage.

During the cut, the reflection switched from the Metatron's head being on the window pane closest to him to being the one closest to Aziraphale. His reflection is caught in a specific place with the back of Aziraphale's head in a move called The Door Catch.

The manuals and tutorials this game provide are hard to read, especially in the later stages. At this point, I'm mainly looking to past patterns and precise framing to guess at these types of things. My imagination and my word play skills can only get me so far, and right now, that's as far as they get me.

As for why I'm talking so much about the framing here, it's because there is a little more to this Rainbow Connection, I am led to believe.

Non-rainbow shades and colors do things. I don't get them as well as I would like and will go over that in further detail soon. For now, here is some of the older wording of this post before I add the newer stuff.

Black-and-white together seem to do something like a trap. Meanwhile, gray seems to allow some leniency on a lighter or darker shade counting for a proper color. Brown does something like borrow. Even though brown is in this screenshot, something about it is supposed to be wrong. That something is probably that the thumb joint of the hand seen—and the only hand seen in the cut, becomes extremely close to being seen and doesn't quite get there.

The elevator has plenty of Gray, but the Heaven button is a full circle Black filled with White and a Gold "H" button. That "H" would qualify as Yellow thanks to the Gray if it weren't for the black or black-and-white blocking it out.

So, when that button is pressed, the gold is disqualified as a yellow and trapped. Hence, the Rainbow Connection is further maintained at Green.

...

Now here's the newer stuff that is some review of the above in a lot more detail:

Well, it's been weeks and this bit is the best I've got, so here we go.

In the Heaven elevator with the Metatron, I do believe the following is supposed to apply:

Black blocks.

Brown borrows.

Gray shades.

White keeps.

I like "white keeps" in the rhythm better than "white holds," but that is the same general idea and why I've said I think Muriel's white helps hold things for assisting Crowley in other Threshold Tricks.

There are two huge problems I encounter with this idea, but I can't let it go. It still sticks with me.

The first one is that I cannot figure out what Black is blocking in Triple Part 3 and the Single of The Pocket Trick. Inside the elevator, the Black is blocking out the elevator's Gray. I am as sure as I can be that's the intent.

The White is holding the Gold to keep it as Gold.

Together, that allows the Black and White to effectively trap the Gold, so that it cannot be switched to Yellow despite so much Gray outside the Black circle.

There actually is a little Gray in the White but it's not enough or inaccessible because the Metatron makes the mistake of using a zoomed touch and not showing either of the two types of thumb joints he has on the hand doing the touch. So, the dark Brown he wears can't use the Gray to qualify the Gold as Yellow.

However, if I go and look at The Pocket Trick for what Black might do, I struggle to figure out what it's blocking. In Triple Part 2, I think it's helping trap the Green for eventual use in The Door Trick. It's part of how I got the idea that Black and White together can act as a trap. What needs to be blocked to make the trap? By now, I think it helps block in the rainbow.

Crowley and Aziraphale stall Blue switching to Purple for the Double, and the lighting is not setting Crowley's clothes to Black as obviously as it is in Triple Part 2. Maybe there is White helping that time but not Black.

The problems go on from there in similar ways. In Triple Part 3, that's where I got the idea because I was like "Okay, I guess the human wearing suspenders mean the Black and White suspend something". Well, they do in that part at least. Then the word is "suspend" instead of "block" though it's based on the idea of the trapping.

In The Door Trick, Crowley's illusionary touch is on a Black bag between edges and it essentially acting as a cue for Aziraphale to Begin. So, then, it doesn't seem to actually block anything. There are three other words other words that start with "b" around though! Between. Bag. Begin.

So, the Black's meaning itself switches, depending on what one's imagination requires it to do or I'm just incapable of finding what is being blocked.

That imagination part is the second huge problem. So long as I can see pockets in the right places and a goal in mind for what Crowley might want to accomplish, it doesn't seem to really matter. I mean, it does because I'm supposed to find the logic and the patterns. I wouldn't know these shades do what they do if they didn't show up in certain places at certain times.

But in both Triple Part 1 and the Double, I can say that the color didn't switch until a given time because of how Crowley and whatever assistance he got managed the timing, framing, and pocketing. If non-rainbow shades happen to be there, that's fine. I still don't know what Black is blocking or White is holding a lot of the time, if anything. I don't really think Brown is necessary to borrow either. Is there someone on-screen using pockets while Crowley himself has something he wants from his play in the game? Then it's done!

So, this bit:

Black blocks.

Brown borrows.

Gray shades.

White keeps.

This bit is more like a default with a limited imagination or limited available pocket assistance.

It's not exactly that way though because Aziraphale gets someone with White and Brown. What does that do? What does he need to borrow that needs a hold? The Green from the nearby humans in the preceding cut until the shadows on his coat can do the Trick?

I guess!

The thumb joints also matter. I can imagine what the Metatron would want—if he even knew this part of the game was being played—but since he's making mistakes, my imagination isn't going to fix it for him. He's not getting it done because I've progressed enough to figure out that part.

So, if my play further improves, I'll update accordingly.

I sincerely believe the 1941 minisode does actually give clues on these shades as well.

For Black, the miracle blocker blocks the turnip from turning into an inkwell. Ink is black. Black blocks. In this case, black is blocked, but I still think that's the clue. There are other colors involved, including a white handkerchief, but, again, I still think that's the clue for the Black.

For Brown, the clue is gross—and I am not a fan of gross things, so you're really going to have to use your own imagination because I am not going to spell it out completely. The old man the zombies kill is singing about farting. They kill him and one of them ends up borrowing that guy's voice to sing some more. You figure it out from there. Okay, fine, I will give you one more hint: it is a crappy joke. Nonetheless, Brown borrows.

For Gray, the clue is much more pleasant and is found near the end of the minisode at a lovely candlelit table while Crowley and Aziraphale are drinking wine. The "shades of gray" are mentioned in conversation, including darker shades and lighter shades. Gray shades.

I'm not as sure on the eventually named clue here for White. Aziraphale waves a white handkerchief around with "prestidigitation" in his dialogue when offering to help Crowley to Mrs. H. With the miracles being blocked later in the minisode, the problem keeps happening while he uses the white handkerchief over the turnip. White keeps.

And that concludes this updated part about these shades.

...

There is possibly some word play or joke in here to be made about leprechauns and their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I generally leave off the leprechauns part and just say it like this from the main post: "The Rainbow Connection ends at Green thanks to a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."

Nonetheless, the button being pressed is theoretically the end of the The Door Catch despite the two extra cuts of the Metatron and Aziraphale after that moment.

If you missed my simplified post of notes, my theory is that the green leaves by both Crowley and Aziraphale represent Earth and their shared love for Earth.

The Green is shown to be a maintained connection because of the plants being on screen with Crowley while playing the nightingale song during The Window Trick, then again during the credits.

The emotions at the end are, I believe, still supposed to be real. There is supposed to be heartache. The message from the hidden games is that even with this heartache, things are not as bleak as they seem. There is a bigger plan happening in the background. These two have been doing things separately together during Good Omens 2, and they will keep doing that after. They have made and maintained a connection.

#crowley #good omens 2 #good omens #good omens s2 #david tennant #good omens season 2 #good omens analysis #good omens meta #good omens crowley #crowley good omens #the metatron #aziraphale #good omens 2 the door trick #good omens 2 threshold tricks #michael sheen #good omens 2 theories #good omens theories #the final fifteen

45 notes · View notes

prettygirls-grave · 2 months

Text

restarting ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

this is mostly for myself, but i'm in dire need of a life restart. if anyone out there is feeling stuck, unmotivated, tired, or depressed, like me, this is my little guide to slowly get out of that era. if you find it useful, yay!!

slow goals- these are my "starting point" goals, because setting unrealistic expectations for myself as fallen through sooo many times.

read 20 minutes per day

practice math 2x per week

exercise every other day

meditate (manifest, or positive affirmations) every morning

do something for myself daily (journal, go for a walk, hobbies)

document life daily (upcoming series on this blog!!)

final goals- these are my big, long term goals

have my desired appearance

have a consistent and fulfilling routine

get into my desired school

enjoy life

love myself

be at peace

progress in speaking croatian/italian

month 1- healingˋ°•*⁀➷

from february-march 20th, my goal is to focus on maintaining happiness and loving myself. i will achieve this through daily affirmations, slow routines, gently implementing habits, focusing on the positive, and limiting negative media consumption. this month will be about laying the groundwork. right now, you & i aren't doing the best, but with gradual changes in our miserable routines, we'll be feeling better!!

month 2- progressingˋ°•*⁀➷

from march-april 20th, we'll be amplifying our current routines (probably will go more in depth when we get here) we'll be spending more time on our most important goals. for me, i will revise and practice math for 1 hour every day, have daily language lessons, and venture out of my comfort zone. the most important aspect of this month is consistency!

month 3- set in stoneˋ°•*⁀➷

now it's roughly april 20th! (the dates are just my personal timeline, but are flexible ofc) it's been 2 months of consistent routine, and results are showing up! this month for me will getting on the education grind- making sure i've learned everything in all subjects this year, revising, practicing, and learning more. for this month i want to grow myself in terms of knowledge.

month 4- finale!ˋ°•*⁀➷

june 20th! it's almost summer, school is nearly done, and my school's enrollment is coming up. right now, we're probably used to our routines, and we're feeling goooood! reward ourselves, but final school revision should be happening. i'll be using this month to feel fully confident in my knowledge of math, and other subject's that will be on my school's enrollment. by now we've got our summer bodies, so maybe change up your appearance!! finish this challenge strong <3

»»———— ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆————-««

for each quarter, i'll post a more in-depth guide as to what i'll be doing. this guide is obviously tailored to myself, so change it up if needed! i'll also document my "productivity" every day to hold myself accountable.

i'll also post some more detailed posts about the manifesting i'd like to do along the way, and other self development thingies.

guys i'm not a self-help girlie, but this is just my little journey attempting to exit depression. of course i'll post about my other silly little interests.

enjoy!!

#girlblog #restart #life restart #natalie portman #self development #manifesting #it girl #that girl #life restart guide #this is a girlblog #im just a girl #guide #2024 #glow up

39 notes · View notes

chloe-skywalker · 10 months

Text

More Than - Ser Harwin Strong

Ser Harwin Strong x Fem!Reader Targaryen

Warnings: G.O.T

Word count: 1,307

Summary: Princess Y/n and Ser Harwin may harbor feelings for eachother. But when marriage is brought up will it bring it all apart or together?

Authors Note: Might’ve changed a few things for fun and for the story. This is the first House Of The Dragon story I wrote but it was not the first typed or posted.

Masterlist

House Of The Dargon Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“Princess” Harwin nodded at seeing her approach from down the long hallway. He had been talking to a member of the Kingsguard.

Upon seeing the princess coming their way the other knight said farewell to Ser Harwn and left.

“Ser” Y/n greeted as she walked over to the knight. “I hope I didn’t interpret anything important.” She said as they watched the other knight leave.

“Nothing that’s more important than you, my princess.” Harwin smiled, turning to face her, giving her his full attention like he always does when she’s around.

“You flatter me Ser Harwin.” Y/n blushed looking down for a moment, flattered by his words.

“Its the truth princess. I prefer your company over anyone else's.” Harwin tell’s her honestly.

“Is that right.” Y/n smirked slightly at his statement. Not many people would talk so freely to her, and she enjoyed that about Ser Harwin Strong.

“It is yes.” He mirrored her expression.

“Well I think I should tell you Ser Harwin that I feel the same.” Y/n admits with a big smile forcing itself upon her lips.

“Is that right.” Harwin repeated her words from before with amusement in his eyes.

“It is yes.” Y/n followed suit repeating his as well.

The two laughed together, always enjoying each other's company.

“Will you be at the feast tonight?” She asked once their laughs had calmed down.

“I will. Could never miss a chance to be in your company.” He answered honestly, looking in her eyes, his shining with the truth of his words.

“Y/n!” Rheanyra called from down the long hallway waving her sister over.

Rheanyra’s call caught both Y/n and Harwin’s attention, glancing at her before setting their sights back on eachother.

“I’m being summoned. It was lovely talking to you Ser Harwin.” Y/n smiled up at the knight in front of her, excited to see him later on at the feast.

“And you, my princess.” Harwin gave a nod of his head understanding she had to go but had enjoyed their conversation.

^ ^ ^

“Father. You wanted to see me.” Harwin spoke as he entered his fathers chambers. His father had requested him to talk.

“Yes Harwin. We need to discuss something of importance.” Lyonel told him getting straight to the point. He held his hand out gesturing to the chairs nearby for them to sit down while they talked.

“And what may that be father.” Harwin spoke as they walked over and took a seat.

“Marriage.” Lyonel stated looking Harwin in the eyes.

“Father-”

“You knew this was coming eventually.” He cut his son off before he could speak any further.

Harwin stayed silent knowing that this did indeed have to happen at some point. But he enjoyed his company in Kings Landing and his service to the crown. Harwin didn’t really want to leave all that.

“I have a proposal that I’m going to talk to the King about but I wanted to tell you first.” His father continued before taking a deep breath, his plans would change his son’s life drastically and his future if it was agreed upon. “I’m going to offer your hand in marriage to the King for the princess.”

“Which princess?” Harwin gulped at the possibility not upset with it but that could change depending on which princess it was. Both are great lady’s but he only fancied one of them in that kind of way.

“Princess Y/n.” Lyonel tell’s him with nerves in his voice. Lyonel personally thought the two got along well and seemed to like each other so he hoped his son would be happy with his choice. “Are you okay with that?”

Harwin smiled, he was more than happy with his father’s choice. “More than okay with it.”

^ ^ ^

Later that night at the feats it was in full swing and there were lots of people, all doing different things. Some were sitting and eatting while others danced or stood around talking.

Harwin took notice of Y/n not long after he entered. He saw her stuck talking to Lord Lannister and Harwin decided to go make his way over to her and save her.

“My princess. Would you like to dance?” Harwin held his hand out, offering her an out from their current situation stuck talking to the arrogant Lannister.

“I would love to Ser.” Y/n smiled gratefully at him for saving her from the pompous ass.

As the two danced Y/n glanced over and saw both of their fathers talking to each other with wide smiles on their faces. “I wonder what they could be talking about.”

“I may have an idea.” Harwin glanced to where she was looking, seeing the same thing as her before answering. He knew exactly what they were talking about and if their smiles were anything to go off of it was a success on his fathers part.

“Mind sharing?” Y/n raised an brow in question.

“Follow me.” Harwin nodded after getting a nod from his father. He guided Y/n out of the great hall to the gardens.

Y/n walked over to the balcony looking up into the sky, gazing up at all the stars that lit up the night along with the moon. “It’s beautiful tonight out here.”

“It is.” Harwin agreed glancing up but he mainly meant the beauty standing right infront of him. His princess.

“Now Ser Harwin, mind telling me your idea of what our fathers could be talking about in there?” Y/n turned to look at him wondering about what it could be.

“My father told me earlier today that he would be proposing a proposition to your father tonight. “ He spoke as he stepped up to her.

“And what might this propersituation be about?” Y/n questioned not wanting to get her hope’s up but she had a sneaking suspension.

“Marriage. Between you and I, princess.” Harwin told her watching for her reaction.

“Oh?” Y/n was shocked but not disappointed. She was actually happy.

“That is if you want Princess? I would never want to force a commitment on you princess.” Harwin couldn’t read how she was feeling about this news, so he wanted her to know they could work something out.

“Ser Harwin if we are to be man and wife I believe and would like for you to call me by my name. No title.” Y/n smiled at him with a tilt of her lips teasing him just a little.

“As you wish princess- y/n. As long as it’s mutual. Please just call me Harwin.” He smiled out of relief and happiness wanting it to be like she said, no formalities.

“Of course, Harwin.”

“So then I take it you're okay with this arrangement?” Harwin asked, wanting to make sure.

“Out of all the men that have asked for my hand in marriage, Harwin Strong are my favorite.” Y/n laughed at his double checking. Even though it was very sweet.

“Showing favoritism?” He raised a brow teasing her.

“Perhaps.” Y/n bit her lip reaching out to interlace their fingers before looking up at him. Her knight and future husband. “To answer your question though. Yes I am more than okay with a marriage to you, Harwin. You are someone I can laugh with, be myself with, smile with, and you're someone I truly trust. We could have a happy marriage together.”

Harwin leaned his head down, resting their foreheads together. “I vow to make you the happiest wife in the whole realm. For as long as I live.”

“I can’t wait.” Y/n said before tilting her head up to kiss him.

Happy marriages and falling in love weren’t very common especially for arranged marriages but Harwin and Y/n had both and they didn’t plan on letting it go.

Taglist: @gruffle1 @padawancat97 @misspendragonsworld

119 notes · View notes

wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year

Text

Heart's Vocalization Thoughts and Feelings

Hello and welcome to another round of Moonlight Chicken Posts That Literally No One @respectthepetty Specifically Asked For:

Heart Edition Round ?? i've lost count.

Mx. RTP may have gotten me hooked on red/blue through clothing but my first and truest love will always be lighting so I need everyone, but especially Professional Life Ruin-er Formerly Known as "Petty" (you're my best friend now, sorry I don't make the rules), to understand that this specific lighting ruined my life. Like on a cellular level, my body is a wasteland, my mind will never recover. Stepping in from the outside world, from Heart's world, Heart's life, Heart's home in to the rich, red, warmth of Li Ming's world, Li Ming's home. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, if my memory serves me correctly we never see Heart in warm lighting until the end of Episode 4, and we definitely don't see Heart in red lighting until Episode 5. Up until this point when Li Ming and Heart are together, there is always blue lighting on them, and especially when they are in Heart's home there is always a blue wash on the whole scene. So finally, finally we get red lighting babyyyyyy, fuck yeah!

Ok, sorry, I'm normal again.

Initial thoughts going in to the actual scene are as follows: 1. Stripes, my beloved! 2. Heart is so head over heels for Li Ming it's ridiculous.

Anyway, I love the small little smile that Heart has on his face here when Li Ming is essentially giving him an 'I told you so' to Heart about asking his Mom. I know that Li Ming sees Heart earlier on in the episode, but he isn't present for the conversation between Li Ming and his mother so regardless of whether he knows that Li Ming talked to her, I don't think he knows the specifics. But he follows this comment up with "You're smart. You can persuade her." Obviously he knows that something happened because Heart's mother has never listened to her son before, why would she start now?

So! Much! Red! Lighting! They are in love your honor. I am so grateful for every moment we get to see of Li Ming and Heart alone together having fun. They may be on the edge of adulthood, but there is still so much repressed youth in them that has been dying to get out and can't because it's been contained by parental shame, by the need to work to survive, by the nature of generational gaps and unsuccessful attempts to protect your loved ones.

When Heart and Li Ming are by themselves (with the exception of the post confrontation mental breakdown session in Ep. 5) there is so much joy between them. And look at Li Ming, he is so proud of himself here, for successfully persuading Heart's mother to let Heart leave the house. They don't have to sneak out anymore, Heart's parents are finally starting to understand that they can't make their son problem go away if they just keep Heart cooped up.

Once again like father-figure uncle like nephew, Li Ming has found himself a love interest that is also obsessed with the family cat. Honestly, this cat is living the dream, all he has to do all day is be held for approximately 30 seconds and get fed a fuck ton of treats. So far this scene is just very cute, Heart taking in his surroundings, attaching himself immediately to the cat, absolutely bathed in red light. And there is something so simple I love about the set up this moment brings to the important turning point that immediately follows...

Heart's holding the cat with both his hands. He can't text or sign.

Side Note: I am curious if Thai sign language has finger spelling.

And here we go! Heart speaks, not just vocalizes, it's not an exclamation of surprise, it's not a shuddering breath, or a sob. It's not a squeak or random sound Heart makes because he can't hear how loud he is being. Up until this point, every time we have heard a sound from Heart it has been unintentional. This is the first time we hear Heart speak. And importantly, he doesn't have to. He doesn't have to say anything. There isn't anything urgent, nothing that would require a sound to get Li Ming's immediately attention. He doesn't need to say Jimbo's name, literally right before this he looked at Li Ming and pointed to the cat. He could have ended the acknowledgement there. But he doesn't. He speaks. And he absolutely does not look at Li Ming while he does it. He keeps his eyes trained firmly on the cat in front of him.

I stole this gif from @earthpirapat because I don't know how to make them, and because I need anyone who reads this to see Li Ming's reaction in this moment. He is also looking at Jimbo, because he, like the audience, believes that Heart is going to end his acknowledgement of the cat's name by pointing to the cat. Li Ming is content to watch his friend play with his cat, and that's all he is expecting. Until "yyim-" tickles his ear, and Li Ming's head snaps straight up to Heart's face. You can tell how surprised he is at the way he pulls his head back a bit more to really look at Heart. To make sure that what just happened is actually real when he says "bo".

And I think it's important to know that Heart does not really seem hesitant to speak. He just...does it. What he is hesitant to do is look at Li Ming. He waits a full two seconds after he's said "Jimbo" to look up from the cat he is holding in his arms.

But he has nothing to worry about because when his eyes go to Li Ming, what does he see?

A puppy dog of a man, radiating excitement. Li Ming is beaming. It's funny to me a little bit that the thought has never seemed to cross Li Ming's mind that Heart, who only went deaf three years ago, is actually able to speak. But nevertheless he is thrilled.

"You can speak?" he asks, and he's chuckling a little and pausing and you can see all the gears in his head turning as he signs because it's like his whole worldview just got rocked. And GOD I love this moment so much because from the second that Heart speaks Li Ming's eyes never leave Heart. Or if they do it is literally an unconscious thing that is happening when he's trying to remember his signs. Heart puts Jimbo down and Li Ming literally folds his body in half, to follow Heart's movement, bends over to tap him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can speak?" he says again.

"Yeah? Can you speak again? I want to hear." he asks, and he's baffled. He's losing his signs. Like he is signing successfully to Heart, sure, but it's taking him much longer to create his sentence than it normally does because he's still in such shock over what just happened. That Heart can speak, that he heard his voice. His brain cannot keep up with his emotions.

The face of a man verrryyyy skeptical that his voice would be that exciting for anyone to hear.

"I"

"Want"

"To Hear"

"Your Voice"

I have no thoughts. I have no notes for this. It is just an incredibly powerful moment to me in furthering Li Ming as a safe zone for Heart, as someone trusted and precious. Each sign is deliberate. This is a deliberate request. This isn't a question built on surprise, "wait wait do it again" this is specific. "I want to hear your voice"

Look how pleasantly surprised Heart is. Look how happy, how bewitched he is in this moment. A few weeks back, I wrote a post analyzing Heart's communication. At the time I wrote it, I was doing a lot of speculating about Heart and his ability to talk and what it meant for the character if he could versus if he couldn't. The tl;dr version was me essentially wondering how much agency Heart has over his own isolation. Is he capable of talking and chooses not to to test the people around him, maintaining control of his own isolation, with speaking as a lifeline, or because Thai is a tonal language did he lose the ability to speak because not being able to hear might impede his ability to make distinct tones. Either way he has the ability to talk, it's a matter of whether or not he could be understood if he did vocalize his words.

I got a pretty quick reply from @littlederxxnged with a link to this Tweet quoting P'Aof and Heart's voice:

And if this quote is real, if the reason Heart doesn't speak is because he lacks the confidence to, this makes the scene all the more important and all the more wonderful for me. Because it's showing us, the audience, that Li Ming makes Heart feel confident. Li Ming makes Heart brave.

And I love that I don't get a sense of fear from Heart in any of this. Surprise? Yes. Confusion? Yes. Skepticism? A bit. Hesitation? Absolutely. But it doesn't seem to come from a place of fear. Heart is not afraid of using his voice around Li Ming, and he is never afraid of what Li Ming's reaction will be. He certainly has no idea what Li Ming's reaction will be, but it shows how much trust these two have built in one another, that Heart feels safe enough with Li Ming to test his voice.

I don't know if Heart will speak again the show. I don't care if he does. Speaking is not his primary language anymore and he doesn't owe his voice to anyone. I just want to establish that before I say I find it so much more special that Heart says his own name, rather than Li Ming's here. Why? Because the way I interpret Heart's character at this point is a man who is far more certain about what he wants out of life, now that he is able to live his life again. We get to hear Heart's name, we get to hear Heart speak for himself.

Something really cute about this moment as well is Li Ming's reaction. "I heard you just say your name!" I love that he signs to Heart what he heard. I love it so much. We know that Heart is hesitant to speak, and it takes him a second to get the word out, and I'm sure he can feel the vibrations of his vocal chords when he says his name, but he can't hear it. Li Ming is SO obviously happy, so obviously thrilled.

But this is about Heart, Li Ming's feelings have nothing to do with it. Okay, Li Ming's feelings have everything to do with it for Heart. But Li Ming's initial, gut-reaction response to hearing Heart, hesitantly say his name, is to hype the ever-loving FUCK out of that boy.

"You're great! You're awesome! How can you speak? You're so great. I'm happy." and GOD Heart can't even hear him say it. Li Ming isn't signing here, I mean he is very obviously happy, and very obviously showering Heart in praise. But Heart cannot hear him. For most of the hug he can't even read Li Ming's lips. But the pride, the joy, the excitement is so palpable. He's jumping up and down, you don't really need to hear his words to feel how happy he is about what just happened.

He pulls back "How could you do it? I'm happy. Can you see? I'm so happy," He is talking so fast. He is talking so so fast. He cannot contain himself. But he has integrated himself so much into Heart's life, that despite the fact that he is fully forgetting to sign here, he is touching Heart, he is jumping up and. down with Heart, he is showing Heart how much being trusted with his voice means to him.

Sweet baby angel, you are talking so fast. He sees a bunch of words coming out of your mouth but does not hear what you are saying. And he looks confused because he definitely did not anticipate this strong of a positive reaction to just saying his name. Especially when you consider he isn't confident in his voice. He looks confused because he almost certainly did not anticipate this outcome.

(Ignore the subtitles on that second picture, focus on Heart's smile)

Does Heart owe us his voice? No. Did we ever need to know if he could speak? No. Does this moment hit particular hard after the confrontation scene last episode concerning the use of the term "mute" in reference to Heart. Absolutely. We saw how much it hurt Heart to learn his mother refers to him as mute.

We know Heart has to beg Li Ming to even tell him what she said, Heart can see how much Li Ming hesitated to deliver that blow. He saw how strongly Li Ming was standing against his parents, he's a smart kid. He might not be able to follow the full conversation cause it's happening quickly, and they are shouting which fucks with lip shape to read lips, and Li Ming and his mother are both facing away from him. But he knows his mother said something bad, he knows Li Ming defended him.

It is so so so so so SO important to me that Heart decides to speak in this moment. That he uses his voice casually, to say a cat's name, in private, with just the two of them.

Heart's voice is not a commodity, it's not a novelty. It's a gift. And Li Ming treats it as such. Heart is being vulnerable with Li Ming. Heart hasn't spoken to anyone in three years, and when he does speak in front of Li Ming for the first time Li Ming literally cannot contain his joy. I love how many times the camera cuts to Heart's face in this, to show us to tell us that Heart loves this. That he is surprised by it, but that he is more than happy to speak again, that he is smiling the whole time because he knows how important it is to Li Ming. Because it's important to him too.

If you finished this whole post, congratulations you have won an invisible medal.

401 notes · View notes

ge0rg1ewaa · 1 year

Text

"They set it up!" - Neymar jr

A/n : this is so confusing and idk if it makes sense. I just wanted to post something, anything. hope u still enjoy it :)

[Third person pov]

The smell of freshly prepared pasta wafted through the corridors of the apartment. The atmosphere was soothing with a blanket on the couch & a favorite movie on the TV. The setting sun and its last rays were the only thing that could be seen through the window.

Today was Y/n's day off and she decided not to bother going out, to be honest, she wasn't in the mood either. Yesterday, she broke up with her boyfriend of a year and a half because she found out he was cheating on her. She didn't do anything all day. In the morning she went out to do the shopping, but since then she has been at her place, reading the unfinished book and finishing watching the last few episodes of the series she has been bingeing on lately.

After pouring herself a portion of the pasta, she headed to the sofa, taking her phone from the charger. The girl had not yet checked her social media, her phone flooded with messages from Instagram, Twitter and Messenger. There was nothing interesting in the internet world. There were no dramas at the moment, or at least Y/n hadn't run into them. One of the messages was from her boyfriend well ex now, Neymar jr, and read 'I'm really sorry. I promise you, I haven't done anything. You know I would never touch anyone else expect you. I love you. Baby please answer me. ' and stuff like that, but Y/n just blocked him. Less than a minute later, her phone rang. As soon as she saw that it was Neymar, she let him ring, but as soon as she realized that he was not going to give up so easily, she picked up the phone, but remained silent, letting him speak.

"Hi meu amor. I know you are there, but you are silent because you want me to speak, so I will speak and tell you everything. The other night after we won the game we went out for a treat but we got drunk and I don't even know how I got home. I swear to god I don't know the girl who was next to me. They set it up! We haven't done anything, I promise you. I know the pictures you saw don't do justice to my words, but I have a video where she is paid to lie next to me half naked. I'll send it to you so you can make sure too. Eu te amo muito. Eu nunca faria algo assim para te machucar. Você significa muito para mim. [ I love you so much. I would never do anything like that to hurt you. You mean so much to me.]" After he explained everything to her in one breath, Y/n unblocked him to send her the video. And he was right. The girl could be clearly seen haggling for the amount of money and eventually getting it, before taking off her dress and laying down next to the sleeping Neymar. But how did she get into his room?

"You can see for yourself what it's all about. I still don't know how she managed to get into my room and who helped her and why they took pictures, but at least I can rest assured that you know the truth." Neymar sighed, his red eyes filled with tears once again. He doesn't know how he let things get here. Only a day since the love of his life left him, but he doesn't know what is happening around him. At least now that Y/n had let him explain the ugly situation, he hoped she would return to his arms. He missed her, her touch, her kisses, her voice, her laugh, her presence in general. He was so deeply madly in love with her that he was ready to leave his family and end his career for her, and we all know how important family & football are to him.

He was just about to hang up the phone when her soft breaking voice called. "Ney, im so sorry. I should have let you explain earlier, but because of my stubborn head, I didn't and hurt both of us. I wish I could hug and kiss you. I miss you." Y/n said, her voice quiet but understandable. She knows that's not possible because of the miles that separate them every day.

" Se você descer e sair, seu desejo pode se tornar realidade. Se você descer e sair, seu desejo pode se tornar realidade. " [If you go downstairs and go outside, your wish may come true.]" Neymar replied with a small smile that could be heard in his voice.

He was here. He was finally here. Her smile shot across her face. Y/n would finally see him. She was so excited that she didn't even bother to get a jacket and flew down the stairs, opening the front door as quickly as possible. And here in front of her stood Neymar. With his classic smile and different hairstyle. He opened his arms and Y/n ran up and jumped on top of him. Her legs wrapped around his hips, his arms around her back and under her thigh to keep her from dropping to the ground. She nuzzled her face into his neck, smelling his fresh scent & he buried his face in her hair, inhaling her shampoo, which smelled of vanilla and cinnamon.

They pulled back and smashed their lips into each other's. Their lips seemed to be made for each other and fit together like a puzzle. Ney couldn't seem to enjoy Y/n's cherry lip balm & her hands were tangled in his curls.

"I missed you and I'm so sorry I didn't believe you at first." Y/n whispered, forehead pressed against Neymar's.

" Tudo está bem agora. Eu te amo." [ Everything is good now. I love you.]

" Te amo mais." [I love you more.]

#neymar imagines #neymar one shot #neymar jr imagine #neymar stories #neymar fanfic #neymar x reader #neymar fluff #neymar jr x reader #neymar imagine #football imagines #neymar psg

261 notes · View notes

mikuni14 · 3 months

Text

Love For Love's Sake - Ep 7-8

Korea delivered again.

I watched these episodes a few hours ago, but I'm only writing something now because I have so many thoughts in my head. I don't know what to write anyway, my thoughts and feelings are a mess. I don't even know if I understood everything correctly. But it doesn't matter because I vibe with this series so hard 🥳 I cried through both episodes, and I spent the end of the finale in an incredible euphoria, as if I was high. This series is pure art because it can reach the depths of your heart, make you feel the story told deeply, and finally experience catharsis. And what's important - all your feelings turn out to be important, each of them meant something, none of them were wasted (which sadly happens to me often in BL series, especially lately, like, why do I get so invested, when in the end it turns out that it was for nothing..).

I was genuinely curious how the series would overcome the fact that it is a game and in the end I rate the result and execution as 10/10 for innovation and professionalism in breaking my heart. Also a special award for creating the character of a "god", who, like all gods, is a dick who enjoys tormenting ordinary people and putting them through some werid, difficult, harsh trials to make them "better" (why is it never a form of a gentle therapy, only kick in the balls and "learn from it" lol)

Myung Ha went through hell in this life, after going through hell ending with suicide in his previous life, becoming some kind of mythical, biblical figure in his suffering. This is a trope that I have never liked or accepted (growth through suffering), but I accept it here because of a) a very good execution that really moved me b) a happy ending 🙂 I won't analyze Myung Ha more because others will do it definitely a lot better. I just want to write how much I love this lonely, broken, kind man. How much I felt sorry for him when he did everything for Yeo Woon and nothing worked and he despaired because he didn't understand what he was doing wrong. Because, keeping your problems and fears a secret from your loved one, keeping him at a distance to protect him, making noble sacrifices, never asking for help, is an expression of love, right? RIGHT? Oh my poor summer child, and my poor heart 💔💔

I love Yeo Woon for how honest he is with his feelings. When he is happy - he talks about it, when he is unhappy - he also talks about it. I love how he says precisely what he likes and doesn't like. How he sets boundaries - even if he crumbles in the end, panicking when he might actually lose Myung Ha. Yeo Woon has his own demons, his own problems, his own fears of being alone and being abandoned. But I really like how hard he tries and how much he wants their relationship to be equal and how he NOTICES THAT IT'S NOT. I liked it so much that he didn't ignore what Myung Ha was doing after he collapsed. That he confronted him because he had spent the whole day looking for him, only to find out that he was sick and in the care of someone else, and his "rival" at that. How else could Yeo Woon feel other than hurt, rejected, jealous and not worthy of being Myung Ha's carer?

There were so many scenes in these episodes and each deserves a separate analysis, a separate post, but I don't even know where to start, I have so many thoughts in my head! What a series, WHAT A SERIES.

Hmm, what could be easier to write? For example, how many tropes were used in this show, like the hand-holding, dragging by hand, running through the city and on the beach to your crush, sexy drinking from a water bottle, going to the beach with friends together at the end 💯

Final kisses: what can I say, it must have taken a lot of practice kissing, right Yeo Woon? 🤭 Korea often does this thing where the first kiss is stiff and in the next kiss the guys go to town lol

Sang Won deserves a special mention, he's just a great character. And the actor playing him is incredibly hot.

Each of these boys was 10/10, the series is 10/10. The series perfectly balanced comedy and tragedy, a beautiful and romantic love story with difficult and heavy elements, also feelings of joy and sadness in the viewers (at least in me). I love this series because the main couple was always present, their love was constantly visible, they still had lovely scenes together even when everything around them was falling apart. The series did something amazing when the surprising plot twist in the form of what actually happened to Myung Ha DID NOT DOMINATE the finale. That it became its important, but not the most important element, and the finale itself brought only smiles and joy. I didn't expect that a BL series could again make me feel things as The Eight Sense did, but here we are 💖

I plan to rewatch the entire series again. And I'm very saddened by the choice of distribution method of this series, if it were aired every week, it would probably have the same popularity as The Eighth Sense - but now, after a week, it's over...

#love for love's sake #bl drama #korean bl

27 notes · View notes

blooming-violets · 15 days

Note

Shit I forgot to put this in my rb but I wanted to ask what do you think would happen to reader if Peter actually went through with it? I'd like to be a but optimistic and say she surely but slowly recovers from it all but I'm not so sure. How would Aunt May react to that? Becoming a widow then a grieving mother in the span of a few years? Sorry I don't mean to be pushy but like I said I loved the way you beautifully crafted this story from an ask

Trigger Warnings!!!!: it's all about suicide and talking about it and discussing it, it is not something everyone feels comfortable reading or conversing about so please don't continue if it is too upsetting for you, Peter Parker kills himself and I write about it, Gwen's death ptsd is explored and he sees her as a rotting corpse version of herself who talks to him before he dies, the grief of losing someone you love to suicide is also talked about, it's all depressing but if you love depressing angst shit then come on over and join in (not join in on the killing yourself part jfc I mean joining in on the talking about this story) READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION only you know what you are capable of handling when you read. I can't help you any further than explaining the warnings.

Previous posts where this is all discussed:

[first part] [second part] and I rewrite this drabble from two years ago to fit this story but you can read the original here if you feel like it (it ends with less death that this one).

One of my darker, more angsty headcanons is that Peter kills himself by throwing himself off the same clock tower Gwen died in. It takes a few years for it to get rebuilt back to it's former glory. Peter patiently waits those years until it's finally finished. Almost a quiet, stoic sort of patience. A little scary with how composed he is. Like not given any indication of his plans. He wears a beautifully composed mask until the day it happens because he is so sure in his plans and doesn't want a single person to sway him from them. He's stubborn and set in his ways and this is what he feels he needs to do. This headcanon doesn't exactly fit into the story I wrote as that version of Peter is much more unhinged in his actions, and I don't think clocktower Peter could ever let himself get into a relationship because he's too obsessed with Gwen still and knows he's going to die so he's not going to bring anyone else into that mess, but it's just a little random headcanon I always had so I thought I would share since this is suicide talking hour. Maybe I can rework it a bit to fit with this story better.

Let's say unhinged Peter (as I'm calling him now lol) does let the ghosts win. What happens to our Reader character would entirely depend on when in the relationship he went through with it. If she's too far gone and too far down the hole after Peter, then I sort of fear for her future. Unless she has someone really important in her life who would help her, I think she would just keep sinking until she ended up back on that ledge, except this time there's no Peter to catch her. And I personally don't think she has anyone that close to her, especially after mentioning that all her friends stopped texting her or asking her to hang out. They all kind of gave up on her so, when she's at her lowest, I really don't think anyone would be the wiser due to the isolation they both put themselves in.

I want to rewrite something I wrote two years ago that either wasn't that great and people didn't like or it just slipped under the radar (because it wasn't about an x reader or love or anything, it was just Peter's ptsd taking over and sometimes people don't give a shit about a fic if it isn't tagged with x reader). It fits really well in this new story to help show what could go on in Peter's head with how terribly Gwen still sticks with him and what exactly it is he's "seeing" that would push him to throwing himself off a building.

Cut to me pausing to frantically google if Peter Parker could survive a fall off a building or if his super powers make him strong enough to withstand it...

Okay maybe falling isn't the best plan of action but I really like (like isn't the right word but I'm going with it) that idea of him mimicking Gwen's death because he's so haunted by it. He would want to feel what she felt. He would want to go the same way. So for the sake of this story, he's can't withstand that fall.

“Leave me alone!” Peter shouted into the dark shadows of the clock tower. He sat huddled against the newly built glass wall that domed up over his head. The bright, white light of the moon hung in the sky above him and casted wavering shadows around him to mess with his vision. The turning of grinding gears below him haunted his memories of the night Gwen died. Eight years and she still haunted him every time he dared to fall asleep.

He couldn't take it anymore. His head was a mess. His thoughts were spinning.

He was just so tired.

He had fallen asleep here accidentally. Maybe if he went to the source of the problem, she would disappear. It was a stupid plan

It only made her stronger. This was where his ghost of her was most alive.

Maybe that's why he really showed up. He wanted to see her. He wanted to finally confront his demons. She was calling to him and he had to answer.

He had slipped a crushed up sleeping pill into his girlfriends water during dinner. He carried her bed, tucked her in, and kissed her soft and gently. She didn't need to see this. This wasn't for her. She needed to be free of him. He needed to let her go before it was too late. She wouldn't understand at first but, maybe, with time...

What had time ever done for him except make Gwen stronger?

He slipped an envelope onto the bedside table beside her. One for her. One for May. He wasn't sure if he would make it home this time. His mind could still change. He could still make it back before she woke up.

But they were.

Just in case.

He couldn't leave them with nothing.

She was here now. Ready to haunt him like usual. Ready to take over and ruin him. Night after night. Day after day. She was always there. Gwen never left. She walked beside him through it all.

Tonight, she was angry. Furious. This was where he had let her die. Of course, she would be the most powerful here.

He no longer had his girlfriend to help soften Gwen's blows. There was no one to intervene. Only him and Gwen. Stuck in a staring contest. Sizing each other up.

The sunken in face of his dead lover glared back at him from just below his edge of his of his perch, trembling from the sight under him. She was standing on top of a giant gear, watching him, judging him. A large smile grew across her pale, bluing lips. It was too wide. Too big for her face. Her teeth looked rotten and jagged inside of her mouth. A trickle of blood slowly trailed out of her nostril.

“What’s the matter, Peter?” She taunted. Her sickly voice swirled around his head like a swarm of mosquitos. “Did you miss me? Is that why you came here? To see me clearly again? Well, here I am. Look at me. Dead. Putrefied. All for you. Aren't I beautiful? This is what you've done to me.”

A loud sob shuddered through his chest and ripped out his throat. He brought up a hand to wipe away the snot flowing freely out his nose. This nightmare was too familiar. He knew this too well. He didn't feel like he was dreaming this time. He never did.

If it wasn't a dream then his mind was truly gone. Distinguishing between reality and fiction was something he no longer had control over.

This was as real to him as anything.

“Please, Gwen. Please,” he pleaded with her. “Go away. I can’t do this again. Please. You have to let me go."

She tutted her tongue in annoyance and shook her head with disbelief, “Oh, Peter. I have to let you go? Do you think I want to be here?” She became climbing up the gears and the scaffolding towards him. She looked more like himself as she climbed, enhanced and spider-like, taking the movements straight out his brain until she was perching on the ledge beside him. “Do you think this fun for me?”

Peter whimpered in response. His tears were blurring his vision but he was afraid to wipe them away. He was terrified of what might happen if he took his eyes off of her, like watching a snake in the grass, it's better if you can see it in your sights instead of letting it hide and able to strike.

Gwen walked with slow, purposeful steps towards him until she stood directly over him as he cowered backwards on all fours. Under the pale moonlight hanging above them, her skin turned yellow, painted with purpling hues and blacks, and rotting away around her cheekbones to show parts of red, bleeding muscle under the pulled back skin. Her, once vibrant, blonde hair now hung in patchy strands from her head. Most of her hair had fallen out leaving her balding and sickly. When she smiled, browning, broken teeth shone back at him, they hung lose in her jaw, rattling around when she spoke.

She was a walking, decaying corpse sent to haunt him every time he closed his eyes.

“Look at what you’ve done to me!” Her shrill voice echoed off the glass walls. She spun around to show him the back of her head. Her skull was caved in. Parts of brain matter clung to her hair and blood stained what was left of the blonde a deep red. She turned back to face him, leaning in close so she was mere inches away. He could smell the heavy scent of freshly dug dirt and wet grass clinging to her rotting finger nails like she had clawed her way straight out of the ground to find him.

She snarled, “You did this, Peter! This is your fault!”

Peter flinched and scrambled backwards to get away from her, “No! Please, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I didn't know...I didn't know...I thought I could catch you. I thought I could save you. I'm sorry. Please, Gwen. Please. I'm so sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t change the fact that I’m dead,” she smirked, eyes darkening, enjoying his torment. She sunk down to her hands and knees to crawl over him, pressing her skeletal body against him, until he was laying flat against the ground with no where else to go.

"Look at me," she whispered into his ear. “I was going to go Oxford. I was going to be a scientist. I was going to change the world. The only way I can change the world now is by letting the worms feast through my flesh until there is nothing left. Something tasty for the bugs. That's all I am now.”

Peter whimpered, turning his head away from her and flinching into himself.

He heard her sniffle like she was about to start crying. He hated hearing her cry.

"Don't you love me anymore, Peter?" She whined. "Don't you care about me? Why did you find someone else? Why did you forget me so quickly? I loved you so much and you left me for the worms. Only they kiss my skin now."

His heart sank and guilt flooded him. Slowly, he turned his head to face her, blinking up at her. For a moment, she looked just like he remembered. Beautiful. Whole. Healthy. Alive.

Peter gave a shuddered, shaky breath, whispering in awe, "Gwen."

She beamed down at him. There were no rotting teeth, no blood, her hair was full and luscious. She was glowing under golden light with happy tears in her eyes like his memory of her on top of the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Kiss me," she whispered against his lips. "Like you used to."

Peter's eyes slipped close. His heart ached.

"I can't," he mumbled back. "I love someone else now. I love her like I loved you. She..."

He needed to get back to her. She needed him. He needed her. He should have never left her tonight. He had to leave.

A wailing growl shot ice through his veins as Gwen let out a shriek of pain as if she had read his mind. She was back to her decaying corpse. The sight terrified him.

"You will not leave me! I won't let you! You're mine, Peter! Mine!"

Peter kicked up his feet to shove her off of him. He scrambled backwards away from the haunting vision.

"I can't, Gwen," he pleaded. "I can't be with you anymore."

He frantically shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, in an attempt to make her disappear. Usually by now, his girlfriend would hear him screaming. She'd be here to block Gwen from his sights. She'd be there to force her away until he was safe.

Tonight, there was no one but him.

"This isn't real," he muttered to himself. "She's not really here. She's dead. She's buried underground. Locked in a coffin. This isn't real. When I open my eyes, she'll be gone."

He peaked an eye open. A sense of relief washed over him. He was alone in the clock tower. There was no one here but him.

He could still go home. He could still make it back to her before she woke up and rid her bed side of those letters.

She would never have to know.

Peter took a deep breath, half way through exhaling it when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Gwen's decomposing face poked into his peripheral vision as she whispered menacingly in his ear, "Boo."

He screamed, jumping away, to the sound of her taunting laughter.

"I'm still here, Peter!" She cackled. "You can't get rid of me that easily! I am always going to be here. I am always going to follow you. I will never let you go." Her voice softened. Almost sweet. Sad. Longing. "Because I'm your path, Peter. I am always going to be your path. Follow me everywhere just like you promised. I want you to follow me. I need you..."

She reached out her hand for him to take. The skin had rotted away around the tips of her fingers leaving nothing by bones reaching for him.

This wasn't his Gwen. His Gwen was dead. She was buried in the ground surrounded by fresh flowers. The thing in front of him was nothing but a product of his own twisted mind. Birthed from his guilt and excruciating pain. A monster of his own creation.

"I can't," he choked out through his tears. "Someone else needs me now. I'm sorry. I love you. I will always love you. But I can't follow you. Not yet."

Anger flashed over her darkened, bloodshot eyes, “No! You promised you’d follow me anywhere. Follow me to the grave, you liar!”

Peter cringed at her harsh words. Tears blurring his vision. He had promised.

"Gwen, please," he begged. "Let me go."

Her face softened. He watched her grow back into old self again. Her rich purple dress. Lace tights. Knee high boots. Pale blue jacket. All highlighting her perfectly beautiful face. Large, bright green eyes without a blonde hair out of place. Always so put together. Always nothing less than perfection.

"You want me to go?" She asked, turning around slowly for her to take him in. There was no crack in the back of her skull. No blood.

His breath caught in his throat. He tried to reach out for her, to draw her closer against him, but she stepped away. Just out of his reach.

"You want me to go so I'll go." She whispered. "But you'll have to watch. Again and again and again. You'll have to listen to the sound of my skull cracking against the pavement. Hear my spine snap as your web jerks me upwards. Smell my blood pouring from my open, split open head." A trickle of red blood started to leak out her nose as her eyes closed. "Only you can make it all stop. Only you can make me go away. You know exactly how to do it, Peter. All you have to do is follow me. Just like you promised. Follow me and it will all end."

He blinked through his tears, taking a slow step towards her.

"Follow you," he muttered in a trance like state. "I'll follow you anywhere you go. You're my path. I'll write my love for you across the Brooklyn Bridge so everyone in New York can see it."

She smiled, soft and sweet, "Follow me. Don't leave me alone. Stay with me, Peter. Forever."

"Forever..."

Her arms out stretched to her sides and she leaned back, stepping off the ledge and sinking out of sight past the giant gears, hurdling straight towards her death.

"No!" He shouted.

Without thinking, without caring, Peter leapt after her. He had done this move so many times in his nightmares. He had obsessively walked through every single second of her death. Again and again just like she said. He knew it better than he knew himself.

He jumped on instinct. He leapt after her like he always did.

Keeping his promise. Following her down any path she took.

I know you asked how May and Reader would respond to such a thing afterwards but that's like one topic that's just a little too hard for me to write about. I know it's weird that I can talk about Peter throwing himself to his death and I can write about depression and suicidal ideation and self harm and ptsd and guilt and feelings of worthlessness but writing about someone like May (who I relate far too much to my own mother) finding her boy dead is just a hair too much for my heart to take haha. I was originally going to write a scene of his funeral but then I was like nah too much for even me. I can't watch May cry over her dead kid.

I will say that he would be buried next to his parents under the same gravestone which sits besides Ben's. It's a few rows down from Gwen so Peter can always be near her.

I don't even think I actually answered your original ask but I got carried away with Peter in the clock tower!

Also May puts matching flowers on both Peter's and Gwen's graves every time she visits. hahahaha i gotta stop writing fuck me

#andrew garfield #tasm #peter parker #tasm peter #tasm peter parker #tasm x reader #peter parker x reader #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm fic #peter parker fic #tasm angst #peter parker angst

14 notes · View notes

morkofday · 4 months

Note

Top 5 kisses in BL 2023

Top 5 fashion choices in BL 2023

Top 5 aesthetically pleasing BL in 2023

monica my beloved ♥ thank you so much for sending me all three of these!! i made separate posts for the other two here and here, but let's get into kissing now, shall we!

My Top 5 BL Kisses in 2023

I. PuenTalay in Our Skyy 2 x Vice Versa episode 2

listen, i know i am extremely biased but i am just OBSESSED with the parallel included to this kiss. p'x was high on something, having visions, incredibly galaxy-brained when he decided to remake puentalay's drunken kiss in their final episode. with the same dialogue and puen's soundless 'i love you' no less! this kiss is extremely beautiful and so meaningful and gosh. owns my whole ass ♥

II. MorkDay in Last Twilight episode 6

the rooftop kiss coming to compete with all the legendary rooftop kisses! absolutely feral over how this scene goes, how it starts with one tentative kiss (careful, scared, almost chaste and innocent, child-like) and then turns into all this hunger and desperation and determination and anger and grief and confusion and delight and relief. this is pure insanity. i know they're about to top this some time soon but ugh, true cinema.

III. LomfonTien in LaPluie episode 12

i was waiting for this kiss like i was about to drown without it and it did not disappoint. i think i replayed this scene like ten times once it happened bc it was just so good. very nice, very fulfilling. i hope these two get a second season so i can see more of them being crazy about each other and sort out whatever mess the universe has planned for them.

IV. JokeZo in Hidden Agenda episode 8

i know they have a full-on makeout session in this episode bc it's their first time and everything, but i am genuinely in love with this specific moment. there is just something so... intimate? humane? real? about the way joke brings zo with him into the bedroom and then sets them both down like this. it brings back memories, and maybe that touch of real-life connection makes this kiss so important to me. they're sweet, they're in love, and this kiss is a testament to that.

V. SandRay in Only Friends episode 9

i was straight up screaming when this scene happened for the first time. idk how firstkhao did it, but on some level, this feels like sandray's first kiss. it's so full of anger and passion and desperation and love and fear and. yeah. it's just a very impactful kiss, so it has to be here. some lives were changed. especially when this is impro??? oh christ alive.

Bonus: HeartLiming cheek kiss in Moonlight Chicken episode 8

this is the cutest shit. my heart fills with joy when i look at this. they're my precious beans and they're together and in love and everything is right in the world ♥

thank you monica, i love you so much ♥ i hope you enjoy these answers!

#puentalay #morkday #lomfon x tien #jokezo #sandray #heartliming #all these kisses are very very good #and i think there might be several other kisses i forgot to mention #that were also very very good #but once again this is what i came up with so bear with me

40 notes · View notes

strawberrymilk-sunshine · 2 years

Note

Ok imagine.

Reader is a hybrid like the students of Savanaclaw but they are a mouse hybrid! And one day one of their friends post on magicam a photo of them and poof! Now they're the person with the most compliments in the comments of magicam! Vil obviously wouldn't like that so they send Rook to take care of this annoying rat, but how could Rook hurting something so cute and unable to defend themselves!

(Is this a request for a yandere rook x reader in case requests are open? Yes.)

One of these days, I'll be forced to admit I'm slowly but surely becoming attracted to Rook Hunt. Not today, though.

>Part 1< | Part 2 | Part 3

Warnning(s): yandere Rook, kidnapping(?), you almost get shot

"(Y/N), c'mon! Just lemme get a quick picture of us together for magicam!" Your friend insisted.

"Fine, I guess." You sighed.

Oh boy, that cute little magicam photo was about to ruin your life.

"What...?" Vil said in disbelief, staring down at his phone. He was not the most popular person currently on magicam,not even Neige was! No, the most popular person on magicam was... some nobody!

The picture had two people, but the comments were only really focusing on one, a mouse beastman wearing a cute outfit.

"...Rook...!" Vil began, seething with anger.

"Oui, Vil?"

"I need you to do something for me." Vil looked like he was going to burst a blood vessel. "I need you to take care of this pathetic little mouse."

Rook looked at the image on Vil's phone, he got a good look at you, making sure he remembered every aspect of detail on your face.

"I shall bring you their ears, Vil."

"No, no, don't do that, the ears don't matter, I want you to scar their face. Scar their face so badly they'll never want to post their face to magicam ever again."

"Entendu, Vil."

Rook nocked an arrow, drawing his bowstring as he looked at you. He knew exactly how he would hit you to fulfil Vil's orders- right across the eyes. A scar such as that would prevent you from seeing anymore, though allow the beauty of your face to be preserved.

He would complete Vil's order of preventing you from ever posting to magicam again, while still working on his own terms of not damaging your beauty.

But just as Rook was about to fire off the arrow, he saw something.

One of the much stronger, much more intimidating, much taller Savannaclaw students bumped into you. And you fell over onto the ground.

"My, my, qu'est-ce que ç'est...?" Rook said, intrigued as to what would happen.

Knowing the reputation of Savannaclaw students, Rook expected to watch you be screamed at by the much taller beastman, but to his surprise...

"Who do you think you are?! Running into me like that- Oh! (Y/N)! Didn't realize it was you, sorry."

"It's fine! If anything, it's my fault for just standing here like this! And I probably should've noticed you coming towards me!"

"Well, uh, you ok? I'll help you up."

"I'm fine. And thank you!"

Rook couldn't believe his eyes. In that one instant, his entire perception of you changed. How could he hurt something like you, so cute and defenseless?

A beauty such as you is not suited for Savannaclaw. Despite being a beastman, you would fit much better in Pomefiore, like him.

In a single second, Rook set a plan in his mind. One that he would not change his mind on.

As you were apologizing and talking with your dorm mate, you suddenly heard someone.

"Excusez-moi, souris!" You turned to see who it was... and you saw Pomefiore's vice Housewarden, Rook Hunt, much too close for comfort. "Hello, hello! How do you do? Pleasure to meet you, and allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rook Hunt, and I am here representing my Housewarden, Vil Schoenheit, he has important business with you."

"He... he does...?" You asked.

"Bien sûr que oui!" Rook responded, grabbing your hand. "Come with me, I shall escort you to him personally!"

Without you being able to protest, Rook began to drag you along with him.

Rook dragged you all the way to Pomefiore, and boy oh boy Vil looked indescribably enraged when he saw you.

"Rook. What is the meaning of this...?" Vil asked through a forced smile and gritted teeth.

"Now now, Roi du Poison! I know you have your personal gripes with the belle souris, but please consider this! If the two of you... collaborate, so to say, then you two together will be the most beautiful on all of magicam!"

"Rook, what are you talking about?!" Vil asked in frustration.

"Alternatively... if you allow le petit souris here to transfer from Savannaclaw to Pomefiore, then..." Rook chuckled to himself, and whispered something to Vil, who's face lit up at whatever Rook had said.

"Ahem! I'm ever so sorry, little mouse-spud, it seems we got off on the wrong foot!" Vil said to you, a less forced-looking smile upon his face. "I have considered what I've been told, and I believe that you would make a wonderful addition to Pomefiore! We shall begin discussing this with the Headmage tomorrow."

"B-but I don't-"

"Hush, hush, little one." Rook covered your mouth. "Pomefiore is a dorm of beauty. You will fit in here better than you ever did in Savannaclaw. Truly, this is what's best for you."

Rook had figured out a way to give Vil what he wants without harming you, and a way to get what he wants without bothering Vil.

You would transfer to Pomefiore, and be kept under constant surveillance by Rook. Vil saw this as the perfect opportunity to make sure you never show your face online again, and Rook wanted to protect you from every horrible thing in the world that was a threat to you and your beauty, which included Vil and those Savannaclaw brutes.

This is the best solution for Rook and Vil.

However, your life would never be the same afterwards.

#rook hunt #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #yandere #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere twst x reader #yandere rook hunt #yandere rook x reader #yandere rook hunt x reader #yandere rook

249 notes · View notes

nerdwithabirb · 3 months

Text

In Praise of Bluey

I haven’t been on Tumblr in a hot minute because life marches on and I forget about some of my socials for a while.

Anyway, today I’m doing something a little different in the form of a longass rambling post so if you read to the end, you’re great and I hope all of the dogs you meet want you to pet them. (If you’re not a fan of dogs, insert whatever your favourite animal is.)

I’m not a parent. I will most likely never be a parent. I got my tubes removed almost two years ago now, by choice, because of medical issues that would impact a pregnancy, and sociopolitical issues I don’t want to bring a kid into. If I decide I want children, I will adopt them. But for now, my nephew is enough to get my fix of hanging out with kids.

With that said, I adore Bluey. It’s a masterpiece of animation, especially as far as modern kids’ shows are concerned.

Conflict Resolution and Realistic Characters

I find that many modern children’s shows are, for lack of a better word, sterilized. They don’t seem to like to show any sort of conflict. Bluey shows conflict. The Heeler sisters get frustrated with each other, with their friends, with their other family members. Bluey herself can be bossy and vindictive at times, occasionally bullying her sister Bingo, her cousins Muffin and Socks, and her classmates. Bingo is shy and sensitive and has a love of nature, but she runs into problems standing up for herself. 3 (later 4)-year-old Muffin behaves like an average toddler: absolute chaos, but not trying to be bad on purpose. Chilli and Bandit aren’t perfect parents - they get frustrated and sometimes hurt their girls’ feelings as a result. But they all learn from their mistakes, and they’re not afraid to admit when they’ve done something wrong — even the adults.

I grew up with an emotionally abusive father who was always too afraid (or too many beers deep) to form a meaningful connection with me. He’d belittle me for being interested in the arts and actively bullied me when I passed my driving test instead of congratulating me at all. He’s never apologised for any of it. Bandit is the dad I never got to have: he’s entirely devoted to his wife and daughters, even when it humiliates him. He’s not afraid to own up to his mistakes and learn from them.

Chilli reminds me of my own mother in a lot of ways: witty and sarcastic on the outside, completely losing her marbles on the inside because she’s afraid she’s not a good enough mom. Like my own mom, Chilli has a passion for drawing and encourages her daughters to keep practicing. She’s warm and welcoming and gives great hugs. She’s got both jokes and sage advice. And she sets out to right all the wrongs - my mom apologises to me all the time for stuff that happened years ago. (I love you, Mom!)

Tackling Serious Subjects and Different Family Dynamics

Another thing Bluey does absolutely spot-on is addressing serious subjects tactfully and in a way kids can understand. In the episode “Copycat,” Bluey starts her morning annoying the hell out of Bandit by copying everything he does. Things take a turn for the serious when the pup finds an injured budgie and rushes to the vet with her dad. The little bird doesn’t make it, which crushes Bluey. To cope, she plays out the events of the day in a game, but budgie-Bingo doesn’t get the memo and acts all better. Bluey realises that, like the budgie dying, Bingo derailing the game is out of her hands, and she comes to accept it.

In “Dance Mode,” Bandit steals Bingo’s last French fry. She’s given three chances to activate Dance Mode on her family, but gets all of those taken from her as well. Poor little Bingo is absolutely heartbroken when Chilli asks her an important question: “Does your outside voice sometimes say yes, when your inside voice is saying no?” As an (at the time undiagnosed) autistic kid who often struggled with speaking up and asserting myself growing up, this hit me like a ton of bricks.

“Early Baby” tackles premature birth with Bluey’s classmate Indy, “The Show” nods to Chilli having had a miscarriage, “Grandad” emphasizes that aging parents still need to take care of themselves for their adult children.

“Flat Pack” is an allegory for evolution, faith, getting older, and the struggle that is putting together flat pack furniture.

“Sleepytime” and “Baby Race” show some of the more everyday aspects of growing up, like sleeping independently and learning how to walk, all set to beautiful arrangements of classical pieces (Gustav Holst’s “Jupiter” from The Planets and Bach’s “Prelude in C Major,” respectively). And I won’t lie, as a nightmare-prone kid who was super attached to my mom, both of these episodes hit me hard too. I can’t watch either of them without getting a little misty-eyed.

In a more general sense, and regarding different family structures and dynamics, secondary characters like Judo, Winton, and the Terrier brothers are all shown with single parents. Rusty’s dad is in the army and, as a result, away on deployment for long stretches of time. But none of these things are made out to be a show or a spectacle or something bizarre, just a fact of life: different kids come from different backgrounds. I can guarantee that if a same-sex couple were to be introduced, it would be in a way that feels natural, like one of Bluey’s or Bingo’s classmates saying “My mums/dads are here to pick me up!”

Humour and Art-Related Ramblings

The character designs are simple and memorable. They have extremely expressive faces and movements despite being made of basic shapes like rectangles and ovals. The animation is smooth and fluid while embracing the “cartoony-ness” of being a cartoon. Everything is colourful but not to the point where it feels like a rainbow exploded on your screen. The backgrounds are simple, but not TOO simple, and many settings are nods to actual places in and around Brisbane.

Joff Bush and anyone he collaborates with on the soundtrack can convey everything from the beauty of nature to a boring workday via music alone, whether through arrangements of classical and folk music or original pieces. Bush isn’t afraid to use a variety of instruments, from a delicate music box in “Charades” and “Mount Mumandad” to a rambling banjo in “Grandad” and everything in between.

The humour is amazing, especially for children’s media. There are a few jokes that are clearly aimed at the adults in the room, like Bandit’s Polaroid camera going off in “Bob Bilby” when Chilli arrives with her tandem bike, or his discussion with Fido about getting a vasectomy/neutered in the original cut of “Perfect.” Bingo innocently asks Bandit questions about where babies come from in “Takeaway” and “Daddy Putdown,” though he always dodges the questions. “Dad Baby” is all about the struggles of pregnancy from the perspective of Bandit carrying Bingo in an old baby harness and it’s frankly hilarious; despite not being a parent myself, I have a nephew and I’m in that magical spot in my twenties where several of my former classmates are having kids left and right. There are well-timed fart jokes (“Daddy Robot,” “Fairies”) and slapstick moments (“Dad Baby,” “Born Yesterday”).

Conclusion

Bluey is a show that people of all ages can watch and learn from. It has heart, humour, and lovable characters. Its natural conflict resolution teaches its audience to be better people through showing rather than telling. It’s a beautiful show and I’m unashamed to watch it as a childfree adult.

#mad dog is bored #not one piece #bluey #bluey cartoon #bluey show #i’m rambling #in this essay i will #i love this show

13 notes · View notes