#I mean if the idea that a child can have SCARS. HEALED SCARS. is just too far for fr staff. then uh.

[pestilentbrood]

Why is it that every time I meander my way back over here for a lil peek at what's poppin it's always staff stumbling over their own feet into more and more situations

[7seas-of-ryy]

I Need You | Part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Author’s Note: *F/C = your fav color* I'm enjoying writing this so much that I've been writing in ALL of my free time!! :) Have more parts started already so hopefully I won't keep you all waiting too long!

Summary: Maybe if you pretend to be alright, then it will be?

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions scars, let me know if I need to add any others :)

The next morning you woke up determined. You would prove to everyone that you were ok. But first, you would need to get out of bed, bathe, and then get dressed... all on your own.

You slowly dragged yourself out of bed, your bones creaking from the lack of movement for so long. Madja may have healed you but you could still feel a lot of the pain. And there were large welts over your body where the deepest cuts had been. You would have some pretty nasty scars soon.

It took way too long to get up and walk towards the bath. You might never make it down to the group if you don't get dressed and go right now. So opting out of bathing, which may have not been the best idea, you grabbed some clothes instead. You got dressed in what you would normally wear. Because you needed everything to be normal.

You slipped a nice F/C dress on, brushed down your hair and braided it back. You walked over to the mirror in your room to check yourself over and that's when you really saw the marks covering your arms.

You gasped and ran your fingers over each mark. Air seems to vanish from your lungs and tears sprang to your eyes. No. You grabbed a hold of that feeling and shoved it deep down inside of you. You would not break.

You heard a creak and whipped your head around to see the shadowsinger standing there. You don't know how long he was there but you knew he made the noise on purpose to make himself known. You watched as his eyes moved along your arms, surely he was disgusted with you.

"Y/N-" He started

"Stop" You interrupted him

He cleared his throat, then waited a minute, "I uh came to see if you needed anything, I can bring you some food" the male gently spoke

"No thank you, I'll be joining you all today. I'll be down in a minute" you gave him a smile, hoping he would buy it.

He eyed you suspiciously but didn't push any further and left your room.

Grabbing a sweater to cover up as many of the marks as you could, you began downstairs. The stairs were just another challenge you needed to get through. You managed to make it down one deep breath at a time.

Before you entered the kitchen, you forced a smile on your face. Walking to grab some coffee, you could feel all eyes on you. Azriel, Cassian, Rhys, Feyre, Mor, Nesta, Elain, Amren, and even Lucien were all watching your every move.

"You got yourself dressed and came down on your own." Rhys stated simply

"I am not a child. I know how to clothe myself," You snapped at him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it... I just..."

"Y/N I found the most interesting book on the history of the Day Court but it appears to be in one of their old languages. I was wondering if you could help me translate it?" Lucien asked

You felt grateful to the male for changing the subject.

"Yes, I would love to help" you were happy to have something to focus on

You didn't notice Azriel looking between you and Lucien, softly glaring at the male.

As you went to sit at the table, you stumbled slightly, a sharp pain shooting up your leg. Everyone jumped up to help you.

"I'm fine, just tripped on my dress. Seriously, I promise" you gave a small smile to them all as you sat at the table.

You could feel a small shadow wrapping around your ankle and climbing your leg exactly where the pain had been. You smiled softly at the comfort, then remembered that you didn't mean enough to him for him to even show up. A scowl quickly overtook your face and you shooed the shadow away.

Conversation started amongst everyone. You were sat next to Nesta, who started telling you about her most recent smutty book she had read. At least she was treating you like everything was normal.

Besides the fact that you could barely look at Az, you wanted to forgive him. You wanted to take his guilt away but that was a lot harder than it seemed. Avoiding him seemed to be the best option for now.

Eventually everyone started heading off to whatever work they had to accomplish that day. Azriel took off in search of any answers. You, Rhy, Cass, and Lucien were left at the table.

"Until we can figure out why this happened to you, we think its best you stay here, where you're safe" Rhys said

"I will stay with you and we can do research from the house so you'll still be helping" Lucien added

You were about to reluctantly agree, knowing your limits, when Azriel's shadows started to appear and their master not too far behind.

"Eris is here" he said coldly

"Bring him in and be nice. He's the reason y/n is alive." Rhys replied

The spymaster returned quickly with Eris.

"Y/n I had no idea that was going to happen, I need you all to believe that." Eris started out

"Why have you been ignoring our requests to meet?" Rhys countered

"I was trying to figure out what was going on, just like you. These past few days have been rough. I couldn't just go around asking questions, it would raise suspicion... But, I figured out why they attacked and kidnapped her." the autumn court male stated

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[nuadha-airgeadlamh]

godhood and the nature of the world

For me some of the most interesting dialogue delivered in the DLC comes from Ymir when you ask him about the nature of the world:

"I fear that you have borne witness to the whole of it. The conceits – the hypocrisy – of the world built upon the Erdtree. The follies of men. Their bitter suffering. Is there no hope for redemption? The answer, sadly, is clear. There never was any hope. They were each of them defective. Unhinged, from the start. Marika herself. And the fingers that guided her. And this is what troubles me. No matter our efforts, if the roots are rotten, …then we have little recourse."

Immediately upon hearing this dialogue I thought of the item description for the Mending Rune of Perfect Order:

"The current imperfection of the Golden Order, or instability of ideology, can be blamed upon the fickleness of the gods no better than men. That is the fly in the ointment."

I think Ymir and Goldmask are essentially stating the same fundamental ideas here, and that these ideas hit upon a key theme of the entire game: human beings should not become gods.

Marika's traumatic origins are laid bare at the Bonny and Shaman Villages. The extermination of her people through such disturbing means no doubt left her horribly scarred. The spirit in the Whipping Hut spells out how the Potentates treated the Shaman:

"For pity's sake, your place is in the jar. Nigh-sainthood itself awaits your within. For shamans like you, this is your lot. Life were you accorded for this alone."

And the Minor Erdtree incantation demonstrates her bereavement:

Marika bathed the village of her home in gold, knowing full well that there was no one to heal.

We know, too, from Ymir that the Fingers were just as broken as Marika, the children of an abandoned mother.

"Do you recall what I said? That Marika, and the fingers that guided her, were unsound from the start. Well, the truth lies deeper still. It is their mother who is damaged and unhinged. The fingers are but unripe children. Victims in their own right. We all need a mother, do we not? A new mother, a true mother, who will not give birth to further malady."

And the Staff of the Great Beyond gives us further context behind this:

The Mother received signs from the Greater Will from the beyond of the microcosm. Despite being broken and abandoned, she kept waiting for another message to come.

Marika's ascension to godhood placed a traumatized person in a position of ultimate power. Yes, the Hornsent did terrible, unspeakable things to the Shaman people and employed a truly brutal inquisition, but there is no excuse for what Marika did to them through her Crusade. There is no excuse for what she did to the Hornsent, or to the Fire Giants, or to any of the victims of the Golden Order's colonizing mission. The game makes this abundantly clear. Did Hornsent's wife and child deserve to die by Messmer's flames? Does the Hornsent Grandam deserve to remain alone and abandoned, her home crumbling around her? What about the Dried Bouquet, a talisman you find in Belurat:

A quaint bouquet of dried flowers, offered to a small grave.

Raises attack power when a spirit you have summoned dies.

The sorrow that flows from the untimely demise of a loved one is a tenderness shared by all, regardless of birthplace.

The game even draws parallels between the Hornsent Inquisition and the Golden Order's torture methods in the description of the Ash of War: Golden Crux on the Greatsword of Damnation:

Leap up and skewer foe from overhead. If successful, the weapon's barbs unfold to excruciate from within; else, additional input releases barbs in the area. There is something of the Golden Order in the sight of those fixed upon this crux.

After dark, does Limgrave not fill with the screams of the crucified? There is no perfect society— there is no society whose crimes warrant absolute extermination. By giving her the capacity for limitless violence, godhood has made Marika into the perpetrator of some of the greatest crimes in the Lands Between.

We see this effect happening in real time through Miquella's story. While his ideology may initially seem admirable — redemption for those oppressed by the Golden Order, redemption for the Hornsent — on his road to godhood, he abandons everything that matters. The path to godhood is an inherently dehumanizing process and requires of Miquella for him to cast aside everything that makes him him.

Ymir says about Miquella that:

"Ever-young Miquella saw things for what they were. He knew that his bloodline was tainted. His roots mired in madness. A tragedy if ever there was one. That he would feel compelled to renounce everything. When the blame…lay squarely with the mother."

What I believe Ymir is articulating here is that Miquella seeks to atone for his mother's crimes and remove the corrupt order by usurping her position as god, even though he personally is not to blame for these deeds. Hornsent states similar ideas:

"Miquella has said as much himself – he wishes now to throw it all away. He says the act – though undoubtedly painful – will sear clean the Erdtree’s wanton sin. The truth of his claim can be found at each cross. Tis evidence enough to earn my belief."

"Uphold his covenant Miquella shall, and in godhood redeem our rueful clan. Then Marika, and vilest Erdtree both, will at last be from divinity wrench’d."

But in order to replace Marika, Miquella must also commit terrible crimes: he abandons his other half, he beguiles even those who would oppose him into being his very own blind followers. He charmed Mohg and violated his corpse, and Radahn's consent in this whole matter is dubious. In trying to make up for Marika's atrocities by becoming god of a new, kinder age, Miquella leaves behind a whole host of his own sins.

I believe that "the conceits – the hypocrisy – of the world built upon the Erdtree" and "the fickleness of the gods no better than men" are addressing this same idea. Miquella and Marika are no more special or inherently better than anyone else; they become fickle gods and establish hypocritical orders because no human being is perfect enough to wield absolute power with an even hand. Even Ymir himself falls prey to this thinking: he believes he can be a better mother than the ones before him, but he is just as broken as he rightfully points out they were.

This theme goes hand-in-hand with the story's emphasis on the Tarnished as the new inheritors of the Lands Between. From the very beginning, it establishes that it is the Tarnished who are chosen to succeed Radagon as Elden Lord, not the demigods. The intro cinematic announces this:

"Arise now, ye Tarnished. Ye dead, who yet live. The call of long-lost grace speaks to us all. Hoarah Loux, chieftan of the badlands. The ever-brilliant Goldmask. Fia, the Deathbed Companion. The loathsome Dung Eater. And Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-knowing. And one other. Whom grace would again bless. A Tarnished of no renown. Cross the fog, to the Lands Between. To stand before the Elden Ring. And become the Elden Lord."

Enia translates for the Fingers that the Greater Will itself has abandoned the demigods:

"The Greater Will has long renounced the demigods. Tarnished, show no mercy. Have their heads. Take all they have left."

We the "Tarnished of no renown" enter the story at a major crossroads. The time of fickle Marika and her warring demigods is over: by the time we defeat Radagon and the Elden Beast, she is only an empty husk. We are ushering in a new age in which gods are no longer the primary overlords of the Lands Between, in which the power is vested in ordinary people.

I think the array of endings offered up to us further demonstrates this point. Every unique ending, save one, is based around the ideology of a Tarnished, whether it be Goldmask, Fia, Dungeater, or you as the Lord of Frenzied Flame. The only ending themed around a demigod is Ranni's. I've seen people complain before about how you can't side with the demigods and bring about the worlds they envision —Mohg's Age of Blood, Miquella's Age of Compassion, Rykard's destruction of the very gods themselves— but I think this goes against the primary themes of Elden Ring's story. The time of Marika and her demigods is over: now rises the age of the Tarnished. This is why Ranni succeeds where her siblings fail: she wants no power for herself because she, too, recognizes that nothing good can come of a human becoming a god. She explains as much:

"_Mine will be an order not of gold, but the stars and moon of the chill night. I would keep them far from the earth beneath our feet. As it is now, life, and souls, and order are bound tightly together, but I would have them at great remove. And have the certainties of sight, emotion, faith, and touch… All become impossibilities."

Ranni does not wish to become the god of the Greater Will and the worshipped figurehead of the Golden Order. She wishes to set herself apart so that she cannot interfere in the affairs of the Lands Between, unlike Marika and her regime. Ranni's ending reinforces the agency of the Tarnished, while Mohg and Miquella and Rykard's endings still focus around themselves.

Godhood is a dehumanizing force that turns individuals into the most corrupt versions of themselves; the main story sees us supplanting the old, rotten order of the gods as an exiled nobody.

And I think there's no better summation of these themes than Ansbach's dying words:

"Righteous Tarnished. Become our new lord. A lord not for gods, but for men."

[rueclfer]

Touya x reader and they're having a movie night but instead of him being the horror fiend that everyone headcanons him to be he actually can't stand horror movies and they scare him but he would rather die than let anyone know that. Oh and reader loves horror movies 🫶

as a horror fanatic i will indeed devour this req. also good to note that i'm making them watch incantation (2022) !! fave movie to watch with bitches who can't handle horror

satanic panic // touya todoroki

"C'mon Touya, do the hand thing that they're doing. We have to chant the incantations with them!" You nudge him with your foot while holding your hand out to imitate the ritualistic gestures on screen.

"Y/N, can't you just watch the movie without being all satanic and shit?" He huffs, tightly gripping the blanket covering your laps.

"It's supposed to be an immersive experience, don't be lame." You whine, trying to kick his hands away from his lap. "I'll fucking hex you and start speaking in tongues in the middle of the night."

"Not funny, freak." He grumbles.

You've had your suspicions for a while about how Touya really felt about horror movies. For a while now, he always found a way to skip out on movie nights with the friend group whenever the theme of the night was revealed to be "horror," and whenever it was just you two, he was a pro at diverting your marathons into children horror movies. He claims it heals his inner child, but you were quick to catch onto his bullshit.

"This one has a lot of good reviews. Heard it's super scary, so I think you'll like it." You shoot a sideways glance at him.

"Good. Good." He mumbles, sinking further into his seat, bouncing his leg up and down in anticipation.

You spent more time gauging for his reaction than watching the actual movie. Every now and then, you caught him flinching to hold his hand up to his eyes, but instead clutched your shins through the blanket to resist the urge- even to the point of turning his knuckles white.

You had to admit, that it was a hilarious sight to see- this tall, pierced and tatted grown man who was squirming at a little possession.

"You doing okay?" You whisper, wiggling your foot at him.

"Fucking peachy." He squeaks out.

"Liking it so far?"

"Loving it."

"Mmmhm." You hum, popping a handful of popcorn in your mouth. "Wanna cuddle?" You offer.

"I mean, if you're scared, sure." He eagerly adjusts his body, motioning for you to come lay on his chest.

You climb over to lean into his warm body, in which he immediately tightens his grip on you, arms wrapped around your torso paired with light kisses into your hairline.

"Sooo scared." You smile. "At least it's not gory, right?"

"Right."

From his chest, you caught a better glance at his face and noticed the lack of color, as if he was holding back vomit. Despite this repulsion, his eyes remained glued to the screen, taking in every horrific detail.

"You know, we don't have to watch this if you don't want to." You finally decided that you had enough watching him squirm in his seat and sweat through his shirt.

"What, you can't handle it?" He turns his full attention down to you now. "Getting scared?"

"Don't even try to bullshit me right now, Touya." You deadpan. "You look like you've been shitting your pants for the past hour now."

"No idea what you're talking about." He huffs, raising his hand to flick your forehead with his forefinger. "I think you just don't want to admit you're scared."

"You don't have to hide it from me baby, it's okay. I won't judge you." You lean up, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek. "We can watch something else." You say in between kisses.

He presses his lips together in a tight line.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He shrugs, diverting his eyes from your own. "But if you want to change it, go for it. We can finish it later."

You roll your eyes and pause the film. You look back up to him to see him deeply exhale a breath he had been holding in.

"Thank you for understanding, baby. Sorry it was really scary, I don't think I can finish it without risking my sleep tonight." You say with a smile in your voice, flipping back to the home screen.

He reaches up to replace the remote in your hand with his. He had no shame in swamping your own palm with the sweatiness of his own, but only brought a warm feeling in your stomach. You knew that he would never admit to hating the movies you made him watch even before you started dating, but you wanted to believe it to be a sort of love language.

Touya will endure his greatest fears as long as you want him to, and as long as he can do them with you, and you'll let him feel good about it all while eventually turning it off for his own sake.

You lean back into his chest, listening to his heart rate slowly return back to normal.

"I'll let you pick the movie next time, okay?" You mutter into his shirt. "Anything you want, we can watch."

"Anything huh?" He repeats, rubbing his hand up and down your back. "I don't know, you're hard to impress. You'll just end up taking the remote from me."

You pinch his inner bicep with your other hand. "I may be hard to impress, but you always try anyway."

"Damn right I do."

[farfromstrange]

Daddy Issues | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Inspired by this song.

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: There are some scars from our childhoods that just won't heal, like daddy issues will somehow always affect our relationships, especially with men. It's the trauma that makes us afraid. Matt Murdock is a considerate boyfriend and he hardly ever raises his voice, so when he lets his anger out on you, he triggers something in you that you have never told him about.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of child abuse, daddy issues (not the sexy kind), childhood trauma, yelling, crying, small injury (reader cuts her finger), not proofread

A/n: This is entirely self-indulgent. I won't tell you why exactly, but let's just say today was not a good day and I needed to write this to feel better. It helped, for the most part. If you have/had a father who yells a lot and likes to blame you for everything, this is for you. But also basically everyone who's afraid of men yelling at you because you've been traumatized before. This has not been proofread or beta-d. It’s just a silly little comfort fic.

Tags: (people who answered the original idea and I think would enjoy this or asked to be tagged)

@igotanidea @lina-mar @redzie02 @hellskitchens-whore

[not my gif, credits to the owner mentioned under the gif]

In the heat of the moment, some people raise their voices. May it be a fight or a moment of excitement. When we get angry, we often resort to a louder volume and sometimes even verbal abuse. We say things we don’t mean. We wouldn’t be human if that didn’t happen sometimes, although most fights can be resolved by talking civilly. There is no point in screaming when talking like adults is a viable option that won’t hurt anyone. But it hardly ever happens, not when both parties are already worked up to the point of no return.

For you, there has not been a fight or discussion in your life that hasn’t resulted in a screaming match. Your parents often yelled at each other. You grew up like this, the voices of your fighting parents constantly in the back of your head until the day they divorced. And even after that, you figure you started hallucinating their fights whenever the world went quiet around you so you would have some noise in the back of your head.

Your father was the one who screamed the most. He yelled and scolded you whenever you didn’t act according to his standards or made even the smallest of mistakes, didn’t do something or just used the wrong tone with him, something that often didn’t sit right with him.

He always resorted to screaming. The context never really mattered, he just got louder, harsher and he used words that would confuse every kid and make their tiny brains overflow with the guilt they caused. And when you cried, he only waved it off because “there is no reason to cry, I’m just stating the facts”.

It traumatized you in a way many children who grew up in such families understand, and he made you believe that every man in your life has a reason to yell at you, to use you, to abuse you and constantly ask you for things even though you can’t possibly match up to all of their expectations.

You always expect to be yelled at by the men in your life. Even the smallest hint of the disappointment in someone’s voice makes you anxious and more often than not, you start to cry. It’s your defense mechanism. You’re fragile and you get scared easily. A switch gets flicked and you’re suddenly standing in the same house you grew up in, letting your father rain hell down on you because you were too scared to fight back.

The constant screaming made you scared of men, and it made you more careful with what you say or do around others. You tread carefully. You try to please and not to screw up too much, too scared of the consequences and possible negative reactions. In school, you used to do the same, always wanting to please the teachers and when they raised their voices, you often excused yourself and were left shaking and crying in the bathroom. 

Matt Murdock has always been a man with a heavy internal conflict, and that conflict resulted in anger issues and his ever-present catholic guilt. When you met him, he came across as attractive yet dominant, and that scared you a little until you talked for the first time in the middle of a cozy coffee shop and he showed how soft of a man he actually is. He keeps himself locked away and that might make him seem unapproachable, but he isn’t. He’s the kindest man you have ever met, and his heart is set right. Out of all the lovers you’ve had, he is truly the best and most considerate when it comes to your relationship.

He treats you like you’re the universe to him and when you fight, it’s more often bickering than it is an exchange of vulgarities and screams. He takes his anger out on punching bags, not you, and when he hurts someone, it’s often criminals who deserve his wrath. His life is complicated, but it’s easier with you in it. He feels alive, he’s told you, and he wouldn’t trade that for the world, so he always makes sure you’re taken care of and happy before he looks after himself.

There is, of course, the issue with his enhanced senses. He’s blind but his senses are enhanced to an extent that most blind people don’t have. You found out about that early on in your relationship, but there’s never been a doubt in your mind about the love you feel for him, so it was no hard choice to stay.

Though dating the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen comes with its collection of issues. More often than not you have to stitch him up or search him in dark alleys and trash cans because he keeps getting in trouble, and the worry often eats you alive. Still, you comfort him when he’s had a bad day, always, and you make him the spotlight of your life every time. In your mind, taking care of him comes first.

But Matt always gives back. It’s his Catholicism, you’re sure of that. He can’t take help. He has to be the one doing the work and moving mountains. He is God’s disciple and he feels responsible for his city and the people living in it. His blindness feels like a gift given to him by God to conquer all possible battles, and while you don’t really believe in God, you have accepted that part of him with open arms and more often than not join him in his faith because life with him is surely not the easiest.

When Matt Murdock feels overwhelmed, he tries not to show it. He’d rather lock himself away than burden you. He’d rather struggle on his own than put the people he loves in danger or hurt them with his personal struggles and the pain that consumes him.

Matt is patient and he doesn’t care if you screw up, even though you apologize profusely most of the time. He’s patient because we’re all human. We all screw up. That is the principle that he lives by and he makes you feel like you can be more of yourself around him. So after a year, there are no more reservations and you feel a lot more comfortable in your skin.

Until this day, he had never let his anger out on you, and he had never opened his mouth to yell at you in any way. Until that day.

He’s different when he comes home. He finds himself at his wit's end, and he has been ever since that godforsaken murder trial started. When he comes home, you don’t think much of his distance toward you, the denial of a proper kiss, and his grunts as he lowers himself on the couch instead of asking you about your day. You don’t think much until it all goes wrong, and you’re not even sure at what point it does or what you did to deserve this, but there has to be a reason because the man you’re seeing right now is not the Matt you usually get to see.

We all have bad days sometimes, others more often, but this seems deeper than just a bad day at the courthouse. This is not the face of an exhausted man after a long work day that just needs some kisses and maybe a blowjob, or to have sex with his girlfriend in all his dominant glory with aftercare to put the cherry on top. This is not Matt Murdock, this is the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen that comes through the front door, tosses his cane into a corner, and then just falls on the couch like a wet sack of potatoes, his fists clenched as if he is ready to explode any second.

You’ve been taught to tread carefully, so you do. You approach him only slowly because you are worried, you always are. Perhaps it’s the line of questioning that has him exploding in no time.

“You okay?” you ask.

He props his feet up on the living room table and huffs. “Fine,” he says.

“You don’t look fine. Did something happen?”

You’ve brought him a glass of water, which he takes with a curt nod. Something is bothering him, but he won’t talk to you.

“Bad day at work?”

“It doesn’t matter now. I’m fine. I just want to forget that today ever happened.”

“You want some coffee?” you decide to ask instead.

“No,” he says.

His leg starts to bounce. It only does when he is agitated or overstimulated and is trying to deal with the world around him. 

“Do you want me to run you a bath?”

He sighs. “No.”

“We still have leftovers, maybe I could warm them up.”

His tone is harsher this time, “No!”

You blink, a little taken aback by the force in his voice and involuntarily, you start to shake.

“I just want to be alone,” he adds, softer this time. “Can you… you know what, I’m just gonna get changed.”

And like that, he is gone. He disappears into the bedroom and you’re left flabbergasted. You want to ask what’s wrong, but you’re scared. You’ve never been scared of him before. It’s not him, it’s his reaction, and so you retreat into the kitchen. 

Eventually, he comes out again, though he is still missing a shirt. “Have you seen my Columbia sweater?” he asks, the lights of the billboard reflecting off his marble skin. 

“It’s in the washer,” you tell him.

“Why?”

“Because it’s dirty. Matt, what is going on?” You place your mug down and look at him, eyes soft and full of concern.

He only rolls his. “I just want my sweater.” Grabbing the used shirt from the chair at the dinner table, he slips it on. It’s not the fabric he wanted and he tenses up, hating the new sensation already.

“Are you sure this is about your sweater? You’ve been on me ever since you got in.”

“Yes, because you keep asking useless questions.”

“Useless?” You scoff. “So my interest and worry for you are useless?” 

If there is one thing you have gotten good at it has to be defending yourself.

He brushes past you to get a beer from the fridge. “I told you, I’m fine.” He is good at brushing you off because he doesn’t like to admit when he feels weaker than usual.

“You don’t look fine.”

“Oh, my God, then stop fucking looking!”

“Okay, what the hell is your problem?”

He scoffs. “You don’t get it.”

“What don’t I get?”

“Everything.”

“Enlighten me then.”

“It’s not…” his chuckle is bitter. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter. You’re gonna keep seeing problems where there are none, so talking to you makes no sense anyway.”

What did he just say? You are so confused and suddenly very angry that you forget you are holding a glass. You smash it down on the counter, and, as expected, it shatters into a million pieces. Most of them fall to the floor and right at his bare feet. His eyes darken.

Oh.

Now you are scared, and not in a way that resembles sexy foreplay. You are scared because he is turning into a stranger right before your eyes. Suddenly, all you can see is not your loving boyfriend Matt Murdock, you see the anger of both your father and your stepfather in his eyes and hear it in his voice and it instantly tells you, 'this is all your fault'.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. “I didn’t see…”

“One night,” he says. He moves out of the kitchen, trying not to step into the glass.

You follow him with wide eyes. “What’s that?” 

“One night,” he repeats his earlier statement. “That’s all I wanted. One fucking night where people don’t prod or- or want things from me. And what do you do? You keep talking and talking, and you don’t even care that I simply don’t want to talk.”

“Matt, that is not fair. I just wanted to-“ the tears start to prick in your eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Jesus Christ.” And that’s where your strength stops and you retreat into your shell – the next words out of his mouth come so loud, you could have sworn they echoed off the brick walls and shot straight into your eardrums. “For once in your life, stop fucking apologizing!” 

His hand lifts, mostly to underline his words, and with the bottle in his hand he is suddenly so close, your eyes squeeze shut at the gush of wind. You flinch, your entire body caving in on itself. It’s not even intentional, you can’t help it. You’ve been conditioned to expect the worst when someone raises their hand, and Matt has never done it before. 

He realizes what it looks like the second your heart jumps and your blood rushes loudly in his ear. He can smell your sweat, the tears, and the fear that surrounds you. It’s your pheromones that change and something lingers in the air that makes him stop and think, what did I just do? 

He has been so in his head and the city has been loud for hours, he lost most of his patience at the courthouse, and then you’re there all caring and lovely and he can’t help but tell himself he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you. He just wants quiet and to be alone while at the same time, all he wants is you, but it’s too much. It’s all too much.

And now, as you flinch away from him and his booming voice, he snaps back to reality and realizes he made a mistake. He’s never experienced you like this before, and it scares him. 

“Did you just…” he begins, his voice soft and barely above a whisper.

He hears you fall to your knees, the taste of salt thick in the air and your breath shakes with every intake. You bite your lip and you collect the shards, trying to clean up your mess as if he would hate you if you didn’t. You whisper a silent, “Sorry.” And then he hears it. You’re sobbing, you try not to but you are, and it is his fault.

“Did you think I was gonna hit you?” he asks, dreading the answer.

You sniffle, not answering.

You flinched, he heard it, and not because you were surprised. You are scared, he knows. 

He slowly approaches the kitchen. “Sweetheart, talk to me.”

“I just gotta clean this up,” you whimper and you brush the glass together with shaky hands. The tears are running down your cheeks in thick streams and your teeth have gnawed your bottom lip bloody, your throat dry with the denied sobs.

“I just gotta clean this up and then I can make you dinner or something. I don’t… I can fix this. I’ll fix this. I’m sorry.”

It’s your fault, you tell yourself. You pushed him. You deserve this. He worked hard the entire day and you annoyed him. He has every right to do this. In your head, at least. It makes all sense in your head while in reality, Matt has never been more shocked to read your body language than he is now.

He slowly kneels in front of you. “Answer me this,” he says, “did you flinch because you thought I was gonna hit you or because I yelled?”

You shrug, unable to look at him. One of the shards slides across your finger and you hiss, the smallest cut forming and causing blood to pool out of your skin. Still, you don’t stop. You need to clean this up before he gets even angrier at you. In your state, you don’t realize his voice has softened and he no longer stares at you with those blacked-out eyes. He looks sympathetic, almost, but most of all the guilt has spread throughout his features and his heart. He is aching to touch you, but you are scared and shaking and he doesn’t want to hurt you any further than he already has.

He had been so ignorant that he didn’t see the signs before.

“Why are you crying?” he asks again.

You wipe your cheeks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you. It’s my fault,” you say. “I’ll clean this up, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“Hey.”

“No, I gotta-”

“Stop.” His hand is on your arm then. “You cut yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” it’s a mantra you’ve taught yourself to say in the hopes you could somehow fix this before it’s too late.

But it’s not too late. When you finally look up, he’s smiling softly, and his thumb is stroking over your skin in circles. 

“I’m sorry,” it’s his turn to say it. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. None of this is your fault. I was so caught up in my own shit, I… God, I would never hit you. I just- I didn’t think when I raised my hand. I didn’t think what it might look like to you. And I didn’t think when I yelled because I… in my head, I wasn’t thinking.”

Your facade cracks even more to the point you are seethrough and your defenses have fallen completely. You’re a snotty mess, shaking violently in his grasp. 

“I’m trying, I swear I’m trying to be better. Just don’t be angry with me,” your voice is bordering on helpless little sobs, your lips turned downward and God, you are shaking so badly, you haven’t done so since the last fight with your father when you were a teenager. 

Matt’s face softens even more, but there is a pain in there too. He takes a paper towel to wrap around your injured finger and he holds your hand, not sure if he is allowed to touch anywhere else, but he wants you to know he is here and he is going nowhere. He is neither mad nor is he going to break up with you. You try to tell yourself that, but it’s hard with the demon in your head whispering all those awful things into your ear, reminding you that everything bad that happens can only be your fault and that there is no use for you but to destroy and disappoint. But you don’t want to disappoint, you want him to be proud of you. You want him to hold you and tell you everything is alright. But you’re scared and you feel so stupidly guilty for something you can’t even put a finger on. Your bleeding finger.

“Angry with you?” he says. “No.” Matt chuckles, but it’s broken and almost whiny as he does so. “I’m not angry at you, bug. Of course not. I was just angry with the world. I was angry at everything else, but not you. I’m not angry at you. I couldn’t possibly be. I’m sorry, it wasn’t fair of me to take it out on you. I realize that now. And the glass…” he forces you away from the chaos gently, helping you stand up without hurting yourself further. “It’s just glass,” he tells you. “I’ll clean it up. There’s nothing bad about breaking something.”

“But the mess,” you say. 

“Fuck the mess. The whole apartment’s a mess.”

“I’m so sorry! I can clean it. I can clean up, I promise. I just… I’m so sorry, Matt.”

“Stop apologizing, baby, please. The mess doesn’t matter. The apartment doesn’t matter, and the glass does not fucking matter. None of this is your fault. You didn’t do anything but try to help. I had no right to yell at you. And my hand… I would never hit you. Never.” He squeezes your hand. “I love you.”

You hiccup, whimpering when he pulls you away from the glass on the floor and pulls you into his arms. His chin rests on the crown of your head and you mold into him, the tears taking on new speed and wetting through his shirt. He strokes your back, not sure what else to do, and his lips find your temple. “God, I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that, none of that.”

You cling tighter to him. 

He keeps asking himself the same question over and over again. “Who hurt you?” he asks. It’s a valid question. A fear like that doesn’t just stem from nothing. Something happened in the past to have traumatized you this badly. 

Your breathing eventually slows down, as do your tears, and you look up at him through swollen eyes. His white shirt is wet now, but he doesn’t care, he only hugs you back to his chest. “My father used to yell at me whenever I did something wrong,” you tell him, your voice muffled through his chest, but he understands every word. 

His grip tightens. “Did he hit you?”

“Sometimes, but… I remember that one time I forgot to clean up after myself and he just… he…” The lack of oxygen makes you shudder and you hiccup again, nails digging into his back. “I’m sorry, he just… yelled at me. Sometimes, he’d slap me, but only sometimes. He’d threaten most of the time, but he didn’t do it often. And I mean, I was a hard kid to raise, I-“

“No, don’t blame yourself,” he is quick to cut you off. “You were a kid.”

You shudder again. “Well, I… you know, he blamed me for the smallest of things, so I got used to apologizing and trying to please everyone, but I can’t always do that. I try to fix things, but it doesn’t always work. He used to yell at me every damn time and I just… I get scared. I don’t like it when people raise their voices. It makes me feel so guilty and now I even broke a glass. That’s my fault. I shouldn’t have… you had a bad day, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cry like this. I swear I’m not a baby.”

You move away to rub your eyes. He grabs your face, smoothing the pads of his thumbs over your wet cheeks. The heat has pooled under the skin in an upset blush. 

“Don’t apologize,” he says. “It’s okay to cry. If I’d known, baby, I…” Matt can only shake his head in disbelief.

He loves you more than anything and to see you hurting because of something another man did to you, a man who is supposed to protect you, makes him feel all kinds of things, but none of them positive. 

But his anger doesn’t matter. This is about you. He has to take care of you now, not himself, and definitely not your father. It’s just you on his mind.

You choke on nothing. “He told me I have no reason to cry because he’s just stating facts.”

Matt clicks his tongue. “No, don’t ever think that again. You have every right to cry when you feel the need to.”

“It makes me weak,” you say.

“Your father’s wrong. You’re the strongest person I know,” he says. “And the fact that he yelled at you and blamed you for things that were out of your control… no one has the right to treat you like that, not even your parents, and he should have never even thought about raising his hand against you. That’s abuse. I can’t believe- fuck! Do you understand that it wasn’t your fault? That he had no right to do that?”

“Yes, but… it happened. Maybe I deserved some of those slaps. I mean you… I- I don’t know. It happened, we can’t change it. And who knows, maybe he was right.”

“Stop it! That’s not true and you know it.”

“I know, but-“

“No buts, sweetheart. I would never raise my hand against you, I promise. I’m not like your father. No one should be like him. You deserve so much better.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” you sniffle, “it was just instinct.”

“Shh,” Matt kisses you gently, “I know. It’s like me dodging punches in a fight. It’s a defense mechanism. Your father, I… you’ve never said anything. I would’ve never suspected this.”

“‘Cause I didn’t think it was important. This never happened before. You never yelled before.”

“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. You should have told me,” he says. “It’s important to me. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you. I want you to feel comfortable around me, not scared.”

You nod. “And I am, really, it’s just… I thought I did something wrong.”

His smile is soft when he leans in to kiss you again, tasting the tears on your lips. “You didn’t. I let my anger out on you for no reason. You didn’t deserve that. It won’t happen again, I promise,” and he dives right back in. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, relaxing in his arms as his lips move against yours with sweet precision, making you feel lightheaded. He scared you, that much is true, but it was neither you nor his fault and you realize that now, safe in his arms as he proves his devotion to you with a single breath into your mouth. With his gentle touch around your waist he promises never to hurt you, never to let his anger out on you again, and he promises that he will drive himself to hell personally if he ever scares you like that again because he couldn’t forgive himself if anything happened to you because of him. He couldn’t live with himself if he broke your heart or triggered the trauma you brought into the relationship from your broken childhood, and he promises that he will never leave you, never put you second and always hold you when times get hard because people screw up, bad things happen, and you might be at fault sometimes, but so is he and there is no reason to be put down for being human. He wants to teach you that, he wants to help you heal yourself, and you have never felt more in love than at that moment, losing yourself in his lips, eyes and arms.

He breaks the kiss, moving on to your forehead. “If there is anything else I need to know,” he breathes hotly against your already heated skin, and the exhaustion slowly starts to seep into your bones as the shakes and tension subside from your bones, “please tell me before I make another mistake that might trigger you.”

You take in a deep breath, shaking your head. “There is not much else. My childhood wasn’t the best, but that’s okay,” you say. 

He brushes his knuckles over your cheekbone. “Bad enough. Promise you’ll tell me if something else might come up?” He resembles a puppy as he tries to meet your eyes, but he fails miserably.

So you promise him, “Okay.”

“Can you forgive me for yelling?”

Your tears have finally come to a halt. “Yes,” you say. 

“Thank you.”

Your eyes fall on the mess on the kitchen floor again and you go to grab the broom. Matt’s arm around your frame stop you and he gently pushes you out of the kitchen. “Let me clean it up,” he says. “Put a bandaid on your finger and then go lie down. I’ll deal with it.”

“No, I broke it. Please, Matt, let me do this.”

“Not everything is your fault, sweetheart. Besides, you already cut yourself once and with how you’re shaking, the next time you accidentally cut yourself I’m sure you’re gonna cause more damage.”

“But I-”

“Go to bed,” he insists, “I’ll be there in a second and then we’ll cuddle so you know I’m serious when I say that I love you more than life itself.”

The weight and guilt fall off your heart. “I love you,” you tell him. “More than life itself, too.”

It’s not a lie. If there is anything or anyone you love, it’s him, and you’ve never been this in love with anyone before. It’s sickening to the point it hurts, but the pain is sweet and it’s all worth it because with Matt, you can be yourself. 

The past matters just a little less with someone who loves you right by your side, and he would never give up on you like everyone else did before him. 

[hugsandchaos]

Dadow Boom AU snippets and ideas while I try to make sense of it! Hooray! :D

Shadow having a soft spot towards kids, especially his own, means Tails is off limits when/if fighting. He dodges all attacks made by the young fox and tries to disarm him without dealing damage. He’ll even step in if Eggman’s attacking and he’s around to help protect Tails.

Silver is around 8 biologically, but 1,000+ chronologically. He’s a little shorter than Tails.

Warning to all villains: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try to kidnap Silver and hold him hostage against Shadow! He’ll have you begging for the sweet release of death! Kidnapping Silver is a one-way ticket to hell!

Silver gets along with Tails well. Silver doesn’t always understand him, but he tries his best, and Tails appreciates his efforts to understand and honesty when he doesn’t.

Shadow does his best to keep their past under lock and key, but sometimes, Silver will say something that sounds like they were struggling a lot before finding Bygone Island.

Silver’s still practicing his telekinesis, but he’s very good at it! According to Shadow, the edgy looking hedgehog himself was accidentally and quite literally tossed across the room by Silver once. Knuckles and Sonic aren’t allowed to help Shadow teach Silver because they tried making him do all these things that were dangerous.

Shadow is a tired single parent, Sonic and Amy are both working together and fighting each other to make him not a single parent. Shadow doesn’t understand what they see in him. Silver disapproves of them flirting with his dad.

The reason they fought in the first place was because Team Sonic took some strange crystals that Shadow needed, so he went to get them back and it escalated into a fight when they refused.

Eggman once picked Silver up because he thought he was a lost child because Silver was practicing his teleportation skills and showed up at his door. It took Shadow so much not to rip Eggman’s head off when he discovered that Silver was in Eggman’s lair.

Shadow being unbelievably pissed and out for blood if someone dares to lay a hand on his son, partially due to past experiences.

Shadow growing Black Arms features (tail, third eye, wings, bigger claws) when he either needs it or when he just wants to. Silver is completely used to this “monster form” as Sticks put it and will ask to be carried during flights.

Because Silver was created with significantly more hedgehog DNA, the only Black Arms feature he actually has is a longer tail, which is still white. They’re not quite sure where the extra fluff came from, but maybe he’ll grow out of it? (Spoiler alert: He didn’t.)

Here are a few bits I’ve thought of, but might not fit in this AU.

Possible Sticks and Shadow meeting before the rest of the group?? Sticks being an honorary aunt for Silver?? Sticks and Shadow solidarity. Sticks making “old man” jokes towards Shadow. Sticks not asking Shadow much about the whole “half alien” thing or much of his past, just enough to understand the bare minimum and then stop despite her curiosity.

“Hey, Sticks, is your friend single by any chance?” — Sonic

Silver climbing on Shadow, pouncing on him, pulling him, shaking him, whatever it takes to get him up so they can play while the rest of the group watches in horror. Shadow either suddenly waking up from a fake sleep at just the right time and grabbing him, or does the whole “Alright, I’m up, I’m up” thing. Just the group being surprised how patient he is with Silver, I guess.

I don’t usually headcanon Shadow showing signs of age or having old scars because the scars are supposed to heal completely and he doesn’t age, but I think this shall be an exception and give Shadow maybe one or two old scars. Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.

[thestobingirlie]

steve harrington has powers

and they will be revealed in s5

steve’s power reveal has been hinted at from the very beginning, and now we’re in the final season, all our waiting will have paid off, and his status as an escaped child from the lab will play a key role in defeating the upside down and vecna for good.

first things first, let’s think about two factors that define steve as a character. ask any fan, no matter how casual, about steve, and they’ll know these two things; he gets into fights every single season and his hair is a key part of his character.

steve’s hair plays a role in his character arc.

as steve grows fully into himself as a character, his hair changes with him, becoming longer, wilder, less neat and styled. his hair represents his growth within his current arc.

who else is a character with an arc that can be well represented by their current hairstyle? eleven.

as el’s hair grows, we watch her figure out who she is as a person, learn to style it, grow and even lose it. this is no coincidence.

steve’s hair growth is directly tied to his status as a lab child. his rejection of the abuse he faced growing up can be seen in the care and attention he directs towards his hair. as he becomes a more fully developed character, who is learning and changing as he interacts with more environments, his hair changes with him.

not to mention that steve using women’s hairspray and stying products for his hair clearly show that he was raised outside of the bounds of normal gender roles. he has no issue with using woman’s shampoo and condition because he wasn’t taught to. his ideas of masculinity don’t revolve around social expectations, much like el.

steve’s fights are the biggest indicator of steve’s abilities.

or rather, should i say the aftermath of those fights.

we watch steve get obliterated in a fight scene every single season, and yet not five minutes later, he’s walking it off! he has zero repercussions of these fights. no headaches. no scars. no lingering wounds.

he routinely throws himself back into the fray. no matter how badly wounded.

this is NOT an accident, nor was it a choice made so that the duffers could beat up their favourite punching bag and still use him as a key player in fights. it’s obviously there as a hint to the audience as to the true nature of steve’s ability.

now, it’s fairly obvious where i’m going with this: steve has accelerated healing as a result of the experiments performed on him by hawkins lab.

now, you might just say, “so what? he healed from battling humans.”

but it’s so much more than that.

steve fought and was eaten by upside down creatures.

no other character has survived that. no other character carries wounds and scars from surviving a run in with a demo-creature.

bar one.

eleven.

coincidence? of course not.

steve is the only character that wears a wristwatch in near every single scene he’s in.

not only is his watch constantly on, it’s takes a prominent place in key scenes. the duffers want you to look at it.

why else would they refuse to show his wrist in every single scene? they don’t want us to see what’s underneath. so what could the duffers be hiding under there? his number.

and the number, god it’s so obvious. STEVEN. SEVEN.

i mean, it’s staring us right in the face!!!

steve’s past

now, this point is so obvious, everyone can see it: we’ve never even met steve’s parents.

the only teenage character from prior to s3 whose parents we haven’t met. we don’t even know their names.

in fact, tommy and carol even seem used to the fact that steve’s parents aren’t home. implying that they’re never there. because they don’t exist.

we’ve seen his house! and yet… empty. the room is blank. there’s nothing in there to even suggest it is steve’s house. he has no personal effects.

every single other character has identifying objects in their room. but not steve. why would the duffers do this? because they’re hinting to the audience that steve doesn’t belong there.

there’s not even any reference of steve prior to the beginning of s1. jonathan? we see flashbacks. nancy? we get mention of her playing dnd years before. all the party have pictures. we watch max’s childhood memories play out.

and yet. the closest we get to characters remembering steve in their own past, is steve from the year 1983. naturally, that isn’t the year that steve escaped the lab, but it does bring up interesting questions about steve living on the edge of hawkins population. he may have been the most popular boy around, but it seems no one truly knew him.

steve didn’t go the college.

and it’s not because he didn’t get in.

steve was getting c’s in classes nancy found difficult.

steve was in at least two different sports (basketball and swimming), he was a lifeguard and co-captain of the swimming team. that takes work and dedication, and it looks good when applying to college.

to be in all these sports, steve had to have been getting above a certain grade level. certainly high enough to get into college.

the duffers know that steve could’ve gotten into college, so why would they make it so obvious that steve is lying?

because steve didn’t apply in the first place. because as an escapee from the lab, he doesn’t even exist in the real world. he has no birth certificate, no records from being a child. attending some high school in the middle of nowhere would’ve been easy, but attending college? drawing attention to himself? steve couldn’t risk it. he knew he’d be found.

TL;DR

el and steve are purposefully paralleled to hint towards steve’s past and secret abilities. there’s a reason the duffers have never allowed prolonged interactions between el and steve, because they want to drag out the reveal as long as they can. there is so much more, but god, it would take forever.

we still don’t even know the full extent of steve’s abilities (i personally believe that steve has some variation of a charisma ability. i mean. every single character that’s disliked him has spent a very short amount of one on one time with him and immediately come around.) and we likely won’t until s5 finally comes out. and then the world will know…

[pooks]

You know what would be really funny? If Ichiji and Sanji are bickering over something silly and Ichiji takes a step towards Sanji with his hands raised a bit and Sanji flinches So Hard that he falls down and curls up on himself to protect his hands. Even better if it's after WCI, all Sanji can see is the bright red hair and the hands that used to hurt him so much when they were younger, and suddenly he's a toddler again, and his big brother is trying to break him.

Ichiji sees the way Sanji reacts to him, and he just breaks down. He's a monster again, and then he's 8 and hurting his little brother again, punching him, dragging him, breaking his precious hands that were made to create.

Sanji's reaction to being in stressful situations is to either cook a weeks worth of food or, if it's worse, he just dissociates, almost catatonic, for a few hours or the whole day. The strawhats had never seen the second state, but it happens often after WCI. And they never know what triggers it

Ichiji just cries for a bit, and then his face does this thing where you can't see any emotions at all, and spends the next few days in the library, working like there's no tomorrow. That also happens a lot more after WCI

That would he funny

(I have an hc that the poison Sora took did two things: worsen the modifications in the other three, making them basically emotionless, and also made Sanji experience every emotions but times a 100 in intensity. Ichiji gets better, but not quite, more like Reiju, but he gets Really protective of Sanji when he realizes how much Sanji feels)

Ooof, straight into the angst, I see? Thank you for the ask and here's my take;

(CWs for past child abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation)

Sanji deals with this by stress-cooking & baking, it's his "happy place" so to say and it calms him down, allowing him to reflect on what just happened and think in a more rational way.

Ichiji doesn't have that luxury, he's mediocre at cooking/baking and he has servere self-worth issues. Post-WCI, he has unresolved suicidal ideation. Seeing his little brother react like that made him more convinced that he was a still irredeemable monster.

He locks himself in the library for days, he tries to use his writing as an outlet but it doesn't work out. Ichiji decides that he needs a physical outlet and he had vowed to never lay a finger on Sanji since they ran away from Germa first time. He gets the dangerous idea to take it out on the person he hates the most; himself. Once he gets that idea, it's stuck in his head.

Remember when Nami stabbed her arm when she was betrayed by Arlong in East Blue Saga? Ichiji is worse. Suddenly, he isn't at the Sunny anymore and he's back at Germa, strapped to a medical chair and is "experimented" on (read: tortured). Ichiji is back in his old mindset that he deserves the pain.

(This being post-WCI means that Ichiji's mental wellbeing is at its' lowest. And it got worse after seeing "Vinsmoke Ichiji" on his updated wanted poster.)

He eventually runs out of space on his arms (littered by fresh and half-healed scars). He leaves nothing on his hands because even in the depths of his self-harm breakdown, he can't bear to hurt his hands because of what Zeff taught him.

Running out of "self-harm space" means that Ichiji wakes up from his daze and realizes what he has done. He knows that he'll get an infection if leaves this untreated and sneaks into the infirmary. Well, he makes a lousy spy in this current state and Chopper freaks out when he sees what Ichiji has done to himself.

When asked what happened, Ichiji only responds "nothing happened". Chopper notices that Ichiji looks at himself and seems to be disgusted by himself and understands that Ichiji had a breakdown. He treats his open wounds properly and bandages them.

What happens then is that Chopper doesn't leave Ichiji unsupervised and ask the others to not let him out of their sight either. It's sorta an open secret amont the straw hats that Ichiji dehumanizes himself and believes everyone's better off without him.

Sanji eventually finds out what Ichiji did to himself and he wants to reach his older brother, but he doesn't know how to approach something like this. Out of options that won't make Ichiji probably worse or try to run away, Sanji decides to call Zeff on the den-den mushi.

They kinda bicker at each other for a long while until Sanji tells about WCI. He's shocked that Zeff already knew about Vinsmoke and what Judge did (since Ichiji told him many years ago and kept this away from Sanji). Zeff asks Sanji firmly to get Ichiji on the line, so they can talk.

Sanji doesn't know what Ichiji and Zeff talks about, but Ichiji cries a lot. He also catches on that Ichiji, even in his self-harm daze, never harmed his hands. It's very heartwarming that Ichiji took Zeff's lessons to heart.

Zeff acts like a mediator between them (read; tired dad who's sick of his stupid sons bickering). He also tells them to talk about their problems with grown men instead of acting like stupid brats. And the usual "don't make me go to the Grand Line to kick some sense in you!" and they know that he can, peg leg or not.

After the call ended, Sanji makes pan-fried seafood risotto (it's their comfort food). Ichiji tells Sanji that he wasn't going to hit him and he'd rather die than to do that again. Sanji quietly asks him if that was what he was trying to do.

Ichiji tells him the truth; he doesn't know why he did that to his arms, all he knew was that he was no longer on the Sunny (mentally) and finds the courage to tell what he endured for six months. What Judge did to him, as part of their "deal". It's a pretty heartwrenching discussion, both of them cries and hugs each other.

(At some point, Zoro walks in to get booze, sees them crying and hugging each other...and promptly walks out again. He felt this was something too personal for him to get involved with. Such an awkward marimo.)

For the next couple of days, Ichiji and Sanji are hardly far away from each other. Ichiji has moved his "writing session" to on deck, sitting by a small table with his typewriter (he uses a rock on his papers, to avoid them flying off to the seas). Sanji is doing laundry nearby and he likes the sound of Ichiji's clattering typewriter.

Also I like your headcanon, but also have my own; Ichiji always had emotions from the start, he was just manipulated and gaslighted that he didn't have any. In many ways, he was similiar to Reiju but add to the fact that he didn't know what emotions was and all he knew was that having emotions was strictly forbidden in Germa.

Also if you look closely in the flashbacks, Ichiji is somehow always standing next to Sanji (which breaks how they're supposed to be lined up in chronological order). Whenever they are lined up, sitting next to him in classroom, etc. And his eyebrows are the same as Reiju (and not like Njii or Yonji), but it isn't very noticable because of his hair covering one eye.

Anyways, thank you for the ask. :3

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

I don’t understand Zut’s obsession with bloodbending. This technique, as we can see, is used for taking control over other body for the purposes of fighting the enemy, torture, abuse. We see Katara’s horror at having to learn and use it in the Puppetmaster and her disgust of the idea that someone should invade the body and control other being against their will. We see her using it in Southern Raiders and realizing that she went too far from the line she drew for herself – and it works to show her pain there. But to take it and say she should have used it more, for healing and power? I don’t get it.

Their logic is "This looks cool, therefore it is empowering, and she only ever used willingly one time, when Zuko was around, so OBVIOUSLY that means Zuko empowers her."

Nevermind that, like you pointed out, Katara did NOT feel empowered during these moments: on the first one she felt coerced, abused, terrified, and manipulated, and on the second she felt like she had betrayed her core vallues in a moment of blinding rage.

And it's just crazy to me to notice how zutarians are constantly trying to force parallels between Zuko and Katara - yet they are ignoring the one that is right in front of their faces.

Zuko was disfigured by his own father, who justified his abusive behavior as being for his son's own good and "teaching him a lesson. Hama masks her intentions of forcing Katara to learn bloodbending by claiming she just wants to bond with her as her teacher.

On the day of the eclipse, to keep Zuko around until he's able to try and kill him, Ozai manipulates his son by using his love for Ursa against him, offering to tell him what actually happened to her. To force Katara to bloodbend, Hama uses her love for Sokka and Aang against her, controlling them so they'll kill each other unless Katara steps in.

When Zuko has his Agni Kai with Zhao, he almost gives him a scar as well, but decides to spare him at the last moment because, even though he's still in denial about being abused, deep down he already knows he doesn't want to be a monster like Ozai. When Katara uses bloodbending on who she thinks is her mother's killer, then realizes her mistake, she gets quite a brutal awakening that makes her realize she's not simply going after justice or even revenge, but rather allowing herself to fall victim to cycle of violence and abuse like Hama did.

This is a genuine, not at all forced parallel between Zuko and Katara, and that the writers basically handed to the shippers in a neat little bow - and they threw it in the garbage because it did not allow them to glorify violence, romanticize Zuko's past as a villain who was prone to violence, pretend Zuko and Katara only have positive traits in common and could only ever bring out the best in each other, and demonize Aang as this abusive person that wants to control what Katara can or cannot do.

And ironically enough, in doing so, they not only disregard the meaningful theme of an abused child refusing to repeat the same mistakes of their abuser, but they also make excuses for the ONE person in the entire show who was everything they claimed Aang is.

Hama felt entitled to Katara's loyalty, obedience, admiration and respect. She felt she had the right to dictate how Katara should or should not fight, what was or wasn't against her moral code. She was deliberately manipulative to get Katara trust her, then waited until there was no one else around to help her to make her true intentions clear - and then proved she was VERY willing to react with violence if she didn't get what she wanted.

Zutarians go on and on about how their ship is the "feminist, pro-Katara ship" and how Aang is totally abusive, then turn around and glorify the actions of the ONE person in the entire show that fits the definition of "Katara's abuser."

[oddballwriter]

The Moon Boys as Dads

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Warnings: The moon boys being girl dads and mentions of Jake teaching your kid how to fight a bitch 

Author’s Snip: This would happen eventually. It's been bubbling in my mind since I've started writing for Moon Knight. It's inevitable, everyone in this fandom wants to have their babies.

Notes: I genuinely think that Jake's part is the only one that would be troubling but let's face it. If Jake had a kid, especially a daughter, he's going to teach her how to fight and send the to the ER or to the scale  

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Okay. First thing I need to make straight. I understand that the idea of them having a son is deep. Have it that it heals some of that inner child in Marc and thus the rest of them. And I think that idea is lovely. Honestly can't get enough of it, gets me in the bullseye of my feels

But these men are such girl dads, all three of them

So we're gonna go slightly off of that

Steven Grant

Steven strikes me as the type of guy who just fits into the family man role so well

Absolute proud stay at home dad who has a million photos of all of his kids energy.

Yep, that's right, kids, plural, he wants a bunch of them

He understands and respects if you want just one or two but... like...

He's so good with kids, come on, episode one where he was talking with the little girl??? You can't tell he's not great with kids. He can handle a gaggle of kids if you'd be okay with having a bunch with him.

"One for each of the us" is a joke he'd make

But let's go with the perspective that you have a daughter with him

Already he's just obsessed with her as soon as he gets to hold her

Kids are very chatty, which is great because Steven's chatty and also listens, so if your daughter is talking about her day at school then he listens and nods along.

He'd also do this with her as a baby when all she could do was babble. He'd just listen to it and say "And then what?"

Steven, although he can be quite sassy, is naturally very polite and I'm pretty sure that rubs off on your daughter. He teaches her proper manners like saying "please", "thank you", and "excuse me"

Teaches her about Egyptology because of course he does, you think he's not going to give her those kids books about Egypt? You think the egyptology nerd isn't going to make his kid an egyptology nerd?

If she takes on another interests that's fine too but you think you aren't going to have one more dork in your house?

He praises her all the time for being interested in so many things.

Not to make him sound like one of those dads but he's glad that his kid reads books

Marc Spector

I'll save you what you've heard before. Marc is unsure, Marc is worried that he's gonna fuck up, Gods have mercy on Marc, blah blah blah

And sure I'll go in on it a little bit too

Marc is of course worried about how well he'd do at parenting since he still has some emotional and mental scars that haven't fully been patched up or wounds he's too scared to lick

But hey, he knows what not to do, and that's at least something

He might helicopter parent a little, maybe even a lot, when your daughter is little, especially if she gets her adventurous side early and it's really strong

You and the boys might have to remind him that she's a kid, she's gonna want to navigate and explore what's around her and maybe she'll do something dumb and get hurt a bit

As long as she knows what's dangerous and what's gonna earn her a band-aid

Marc's good when she's a kid but I feel like he just feels more comfortable when she's older, like teenager age

I actually feel like he'd be one of those dads who gets it in his kids head that they can still be a teenager and do teenager things but don't get into any trouble or do something really bad

"Focus on school and stay away from those groups" type of dad that really just means "Don't get Fs in class and don't get arrested."

He's letting her make mistakes and grow from it but he's not gonna baby her either

Marc won't entirely be the "No boys allowed" type of dad either. But if she brings a boy home for any reason, even if the boy's just a classmate that she's doing a project with, then he's telling her that the door stays open till he leaves or they do the project and research in living room or whatever

He's so proud of her too. He makes sure she knows just how loved she is and that he will always be there

Marc actually wants to be the type of parent where whenever his daughter gets in trouble or make a mistake that she thinks "I need to call my dad." instead of "My dad's going to kill me."

Jake Lockley

Jake would have said he wanted a boy but that's a lie he wants a girl first

I can see both Marc and Jake not really being the types to keep their kid in gender roles, neither is Steven if his daughter wants to do things that are considered masculine or boyish then he won't stop her he just sort of defaults to thinking that she'd want to do girly things, but Jake is the type of dad that wouldn't care if he has a daughter he's gonna teach her how to stuff and to take shit from no one

She's going to be a spitfire if Jake's her daddy, that's for sure. A real Buttercup.

She once got in trouble for fighting a boy in her grade because he was making fun of her and he scolded her when you were around but he was secretly so proud

When she's older he teaches her how to fight people and defend herself, I mean he already told her to do that when she was younger but back then it was kick, bite, and scream. When she's a teen it's teaching her how to right and left hook and disorientate

Fuck, she's probably good with a knife too

Jake knows that your daughter can handle herself pretty well but he's still going to be protective over her

If she has a relationship and they put their hands on her that person's just straight up dead

She might know how to aim for the vitals and wash blood off her clothes but she's still his little princess

[vay99]

Law x reader

Let me show you your heart

Anime/Manga: One Piece

Short side note, I've decided to upload my old ffs on here as well since everyone enjoys reading on different platforms and you guys seem to enjoy what I'm reading :)

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's get started then." you check a last time before starting your tattoo machine.

"How many tattoo plans do you have left?"

"None after this, I don't think I'd have space left anywhere." Law looks down on his body while you finish the first letter on his thumb.

"Neck, waist, ass-"

"What are you suggesting?" taken back by your last idea the captain squints his eyes, earning a chuckle from your end.

"Nothing, only that you've got spaces left, and you're my favorite person to tattoo~"

"How come?"

"That's my secret. But why don't you tell me what's up with the double death tattoo?"

"It's what they call me, surgeon of death, I figured that it'd look nice." he simply explains, not mentioning a deeper meaning behind it. Which you know it has.

"I'll accept that answer, for now."

Law just reacts by rolling his eyes, he's used to your antics since you've put every single tattoo on his body, which created a special bond between the two of you.

It always takes Law some time until he opens up to you during your tattoo sessions. Letting down his walls is something he still struggles with. Even with you. The only person he ever told his story.

"I was always surrounded by death, wanted to die and now... I get to decide who lives and dies. It was painful, it still is but... it's a part of me." he explains himself, right as you finish his first hand.

"So death has two meanings for you." you say as you begin with his other hand. "Once your experiences with death as a child, and second your profession as a Pirate, Doctor Captain."

"Yes."

"Babe you do know that tattoos don't replace therapy, right?" you've been calling up him that for a while now, having the antic to adress others with 'flirty' nicknames. The first time you called him Babe his face froze and a blush took over his cheeks.

"I know." he grunts, turning his head away from you.

"Law, I hope that one day you'll feel so full of life that your past turns into a scar, fully healed. No more hurting, hiding and hatred. You'll learn to love life, one day."

"And you said this doesn't replace therapy..."

"If you'd go to therapy I wouldn't have to sY this, we could plan a tattoo on your ass instead but nooo." Law chuckles at your response, watching you finish the final letter on his pinky. "All done."

Staring at his fresh tattooed knuckles Laws lips curl into a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." you respond, cleaning the bench and tidying up the place.

On your way to the kitchen you two pass by Penguin, who immediately notices his captains new tattoo.

"I'm the surgeon of the death after all." Law explains him for the third time now.

"And yet you fight to keep every patient alive." Penguin answers.

"Ironic how life can be."

"Don't try to make it sound poetic now, you're exchanging peoples arms with legs all of the time." you join their little conversation.

"Don't forget the hearts." the surgeon chuckles. "What's with that expression?"

"Could you give me my heart so I could draw it?!??"

You've done it, you made Law malfunction like a computer that has too many tabs open. Penguin is startled as well but that's not unusual, especially compared to Law malfunctioning.

"Law? Laaaaw?" moving closer to your captain you poke his cheek.

"Uhm... are you, are you sure about that?" scratching his neck as he comes back to his senses, still taken back by your request.

"Yes, I mean, I won't die so, when else will I get the opportunity to draw my own heart?"

Following your bizarre wish Law takes your heart out of your chest. And definitely not getting distracted by your boobs at all. Nah. Even Penguin is dumbfounded by that.

"Wow, the human body is so fascinating." you express your joy over a technique that Law used to let his opponents freak out. He may have studied every part of the human body but your brain will remain a mystery to the man.

"You're not nervous at all? It's your heart in my hands after all." he voices his confusion.

"If you wanted to crush it you could've done it at any given time, we're in a submarine, there's no escape from you. I've seen Penguin and Sachi try to. I trust you Law." you reassure him, adjusting your view back on your heart.

"Countless times..."

"You never win and yet you guys still try." you pat your friends back before heading towards your room. Which is just a bed, a desk and paper, canvases, paint and brushes all over the place.

Sitting down you immediately start sketching, joining you on a chair Law watches you draw, his favorite thing to do when he wants to feel at ease.

Everyone in your crew believes you're already dating and just keep things really private. But no, Law is just a lovesick man who loves nothing more than spend time with you in comfortable silence.

A couple of days later you've finished your masterpiece, exhausted and happy you waddle over to the kitchen and sink into the big couch. Like becoming one with the soft fabric.

"Here." Bepo places a plate with food in front of you and himself.

"Bepo you're a real darling, thanks."

"You looked exhausted and food always makes me feel better so... sorry."

"You're the sweetest." you say, cheeks full of food already. "Did you drop those food plates off at my place each day?"

"No, the captain did."

You stop in your tracks. Law did what?

"Bepo? Are you sure that was Law?"

"Yes, you didn't notice because you were too hyperfocused."

"He gave me bread. He hates bread." you blink at the polar bear next to you.

"But you love bread."

"Exactly!!!!!" finishing your plate you immediately head of to find Law. You wanted to confess for a while now but you never knew if he l o v e d you or just enjoyed having you around him. But this? Law getting near bread? Voluntarily? That speaks volumes.

The second you find him he begins to talk, not giving you any time to react.

"You trusted me with your heart, now I'll trust you with mine." he casually pulls his heart out off his chest, handing it to you. "You once said that two hearts together look like the hearts people draw... if you want to you could draw ours together..." getting quite at the end of the sentence he bites his lip, unsure which words to use.

"Draw them as they belong you mean?"

Agreeing with a nod Law hides his face behind his hat, face redder than Buggys nose.

"This is the best painting request ever!"

Forgetting what you wanted to do not even minute ago you sprint into your room, carrying Laws heart with you.

Pulling out the painting you made of your own heart, where Law gladly assisted threw pulling your heart out of your rib cage, you begin to sketch your hearts together as one. Which took you one more week.

And yes Law brought you bread during that time as well.

"How do you like it?" exhausted, but happy you present your latest creation.

"It's greater than any word I could use to describe it Can I have it?"

"Of course, it was your request after all." you smile as you hand him the painting.

"This will go right above my desk." his lips curl into a heartwarming smile, a smile so gentle which you've never seen it of him before.

"This is my favorite smile of yours. Maybe you'll assist me next time threw being my model."

"Anything for you." he answers mindless, still absorbed by the canvas in front of him. And that's when you remember.

"Guess I'll start dropping by your office from now on, not to brag but this is an amazing painting." you take a few steps towards him.

"Just like the artist."

"Only because I had a great assistant." you chuckle, gently cupping his cheeks.

"Being your assistant sounds like much better job than captain and doctor." Law sighs, loosely wrapping his arms around your hips, continuingly looking up to you.

"You know you can drop by anytime when they're being too noisy. And be my model of course."

"What kind of modeling are we talking about." He raises an eyebrow, a playful smile on his lips.

"I wanna paint you as I see you, a gentle soul, who cares for others more than himself. A gorgeous smile that will steal everyone's heart, because that's what you did with mine." you brush over his lips with your thumb. "But to be able to capture your lips right I need to get a better look at them."

"My lips are all yours." closing his eyes he pulls you onto his lap. You close the gap between your lips, feeling like your hearts have now become one for real. You still taste the salty rice balls he had for lunch, this would be everything you could think about from now on when you see rice balls.

*A few days later, on deck*

The submarine has submerged from the sea, landing on a tropical island. Law stands by the reling and watches the sun set.

"No better view than the sun set over the ocean, no better smell than the salty air." you smile, enjoying the wind that plays with your locks.

"(y/n), when you said you want me to love life, to let my wounds heal I thought it was impossible. But now, right here, with you, I start to understand what you mean. Thank you, for everything you've done for me."

"You've helped me heal as well Law, when you're with the right person you will heal each other, it comes naturally." leaning your head against his shoulder you keep gazing at the sun, disappearing behind the horizon.

[shadowjax]

"That Beach Episode" OneshotTeaser

Part of Dragon’s Blade Series, can be read as a standalone.

(idk what to title it rlly buttttttt) 10 pages and almost 5k words, many many edits/attempts at fixing grammar and worldbuilding later. I'm getting there.

~~~~~~~

“Pack your things, guys, I just got out of a meeting with Fury and persuaded him into giving us the day off.” Tony paraded into the lounge, Morgan following right behind, dressed like they were ready to go to a tropical island. With the clap of his hands, a video of the beach played on the TV.

“Hey.” Morgan shot Tony an annoyed look and crossed her arms.

“Ok. Ok. This little rascal did all the work with her puppy eyes.” 

“Tony it’s almost noon, any place remotely tropical is hours away. Even by jet.” Bruce was seated on the couch, now annoyed his show had been turned off. He and Vison were in the middle of watching an old sitcom that Wanda had recommended.

“Which is why we’re staying overnight at a condo I just so happen to have bought years ago.” 

“Love the idea but who will take care of the city while we are gone,” Steve commented, who was in the middle of a card game with Vision, Sam, and Bucky. 

“None other than our junior counterparts, of course. C’mon, guys get packing, the jet leaves in two hours.” After scooping his child onto his shoulders, Tony exited the room, their laughter echoing throughout the hallway. Recently the tower had become a bit more crowded with all the newest recruits like Kate, Cassie, and Kamala. 

“Ohhhhh, I love building sandcastles. Now that I think about it, you’ve never been to the beach have you.” Wanda stood beside you while the two of you cleaned up from making the group breakfast. 

“No, I haven’t, it’s on my list of places to take Nat though so this works out. I hope it's too crowded with tourists but knowing Tony we’ll be on our own private sector...” 

After temporarily scarring the newest recruits during your first encounter, you realized it was time to find a solution to heal the scars across your face. The main problem was that while the serum in your veins could heal new wounds, it couldn’t fix the scars from injuries you had before it was injected. Over the past several months, you have undergone a series of procedures with Dr. Lee to improve the appearance of the scars on your face. Although certain scars may still be visible, the once vivid pink marks have now blended more effectively with your natural skin tone. This has significantly reduced their prominence, resulting in a much less noticeable appearance overall. 

“I’m glad to see the scars are healing, the doc sure knows what she’s doing. Speaking of beaches, in my opinion, they are a great place to propose to someone. Say a particular redhead.” Wanda’s eyebrows danced for a moment, causing you almost to drop a plate. “I know you’ve been thinking about it, I can see the pictures playing in your head. You practically project them!” 

“Wanda I know you mean the best, but please. It’s only a thought.” When you were younger, there were numerous things you never imagined yourself doing. Reflecting on those times now, an uncomfortable pit seems to form in your stomach when you think back on the past.

“A thought you have entertained for 3 months and many hours throughout the day.” You glanced at the ring Vision had given Wanda when he proposed. It was well crafted and clearly, Vison spent a lot of time working on the perfect design for her. A while back, you had a conversation with him about how he chose the design and gem for the ring, knowing he was the only one capable of keeping such a secret. 

Dr. Lee placed an arm around both you and Wanda’s shoulders, gently stepping in to join the conversation. “Believe me when I tell you, kid, there is nothing better than knowing you share a special bond with the one you love the most. Knowing only the two of you share this bond, to spend the rest of your lives as equals. Heck, I never thought I’d survive being a war nurse but here I am. Ring and all, with a beautiful woman I call wife.” 

“I think both of you need a new murder show to binge rather than prodding into my life.” Your comment led to a smack on the back of your head from Lee. “Well, when the world isn’t inanimate danger, what does a married woman in her late thirties do with her time, especially when she has a stable, well-paying job?" The conversation quickly ended, knowing neither of them had a good comeback, leaving you last in the dining room though packing wasn’t a tedious task for you.

[smolgloves]

Sobering Thoughts

Masterlist

Summary: An evening of drinking with the gang turned into a somber moment of Freya.

Tw: mentions of death, human trafficking, blood, mentions of child/parent death, and drinking.

With steel colored eyes on the target, Freya knocked back her sling. She only had one shot left, but her hands trembled as she gripped the smooth handle of her peashooter. Freya breathed out any remaining nerves that attempted to deter her from making the shot, she knew she had to make this count. Her fingers loosened from the sling, letting the tension give away and hurl a pebble towards the glass bottle.

There was a loud clink when the pebble grazed the side of the bottle but it ricocheted off it and disappeared into the night.

“Damn, so close!” Karlach chuckled as she put a mug of beer to her lips; the laughter of Wyll and Tav following behind her.

Letting out a huff, Freya shrugged and plopped down on the crate she was elevated on, taking her thimble of wine to swallow down the failure. “Ah whatever, the bottle was probably made from sturdier glass.”

“You shoot better than goblins do when they're sober.” Wyll laughed.

“Since when are goblins sober?” Tav sneered, their eyes softening once they turned back to Freya. “How's the new equipment?”

“Better than the prototype.” She mused, the fact that Tav and Wyll were able to find instruments that she could use to make a new peashooter was terrific! No more hiding when the gang ran into fights, she could take a more proactive response into battle.

“You know, since traveling together, I have been trying to wrap my head around the pea shooter.” Wyll smiled and took a sip of wine. “Would a bow be more daunting for borrowers to make?”

“We have bows and arrows.” Freya rolled her eyes. “But the pea shooter wasn't supposed to be for fighting, it was for stealth.”

“How so?”

“Alright, take things from my perspective… imagine you're a borrower out scavenging, but you need to distract the large ones. A little diversion, so to speak.” She set her wine down beside her, as if ending the drinking for a moment would suddenly sober her up to explain her logic more coherently. “Sure, an arrow could be effective as well, but what if the larger ones find a tiny arrow?” She watched as her drinking buddies' faces lit up on the realization. “Pebbles are a little more inconspicuous.”

“Damn that's a good idea!” Karlach exclaimed. “Would have never thought of that if I was as little as you.”

“Don't praise me, it wasn't my idea, it was my dad's.” Freya leaned back to stare up at the stars. “He figured trying to control larger ones’ paths would mean the colony could gather more supplies.”

A beat of silence hung in the air, leaving Freya lost in thought. She often wondered how her father would have reacted to her and Kes coming up with the pea shooter. Would he have been delighted or would he have notes of improvement?

“Freya…” Tav spoke out in a whisper. “Can I ask… how your parents felt about your exile?”

“There's not much to tell.” Freya let out a sigh. “They died long before the exile.”

Somber looks weighed down the evening, it pained Freya to see them offer pitiful looks her way, but she kept her face neutral as she took another swig of her drink, the wine grew bitter now. “Please, save your condolences for others, this was thirteen years ago.”

“Yeah but losing your parents is rough.” Karlach spoke with certainty, the camp fire cast shadows over her face, but Freya swore she saw a tear prick her eye.

“We don't have to talk about this, if you're uncomfortable.” Tav reassured.

“No, it's fine.” The wine had loosened her tongue before she could stop herself. It was easier for Freya to say she was okay, that time healed the wounds that scarred her heart, but it wouldn't be fair to keep such a story from her companions. Downing the last drops of wine, Freya raised her thimble up in the air. “Just give me something better than this, I will not tell this story while drinking common table wine.”

A somber smile appeared on Wyll's face as he gingerly took the thimble from her. “I believe we found some mermaid whiskey in the cellar.”

~~~

Being young meant being more carefree, despite the hardships many borrowers faced, a thirteen year old Freya found ways to skirt by authoritative rules and experience life beyond the walls. When Freya and a couple friends decided to skip class that day to go hang out by the river, they didn't know how fortunate they'd be compared to the rest of the colony.

From what she was always told, the floorboards were ripped up in an instant and gawking eyes peered down at the group of borrowers who scurried like mice as hands descended down to grab them. Kestrel witnessed the horror of watching friends getting snatched up and thrown into sacks or killed if they were too sporadic in trying to escape from larger beings. As for her parents, well they thought Freya was in class and ran to save her. She was never given the details of their fate but that classroom was known as a bloodbath, only four of her peers escaped that day.

Freya was made an orphan that day and she didn't even know until later that evening when her uncle found her by the river. How he wrapped his arms around her sobbing and screaming: “We thought you were dead or worse!” She had never seen him look so broken, but what man wouldn't break down after finding out his sister, wife, and son all died in a raid?

The days after that were a blur, the survivors scouted the area to find a safer place, but Freya specifically remembered everyone trying to piece together a reason how this happened. “We were careful, we followed the protocol, they shouldn't have known!” The uncertainty plagued the colony for a tenday until a young boy named Taher stepped forward. His older brother Zaki was sneaking out every night to meet with an elven girl he befriended for the last month or so. Taher caught him one night but was sworn to stay quiet, Zaki was confident nothing would happen… he never returned home the night before the raid. It didn't matter if he was just a careless boy or if he was coerced into telling a larger being about the colony, Zaki was seen as a traitor that day. Whatever fate fell upon him was seen as a mercy compared to what the colony would have evoked had he ever returned.

~~~

Whiskey burned her throat as she gulped it down, but it stung less than the tears that pricked her gray eyes. In all her life, Freya never felt the need to bring up her parents’ death; everyone in her life before, knew of their fate and likely had a similar tale. Now the acidic words spilt out her mouth to new faces who towered over her, their crestfallen eyes cast upon her.

“Freya-”

“I said save your condolences for others who need it!” It wasn't fair to snap at Tav like so, she glanced over to see them look lost and hurt, unsure of what to say. “Sorry, Tav. I didn't mean that, it's just not something I like to talk about.”

“I get it.” Tav reassured, their voice soft as a breeze. “Grief is a daunting foe from within, facing it is not something many like to do.”

“You've definitely drank too much if you're preaching your monk teachings right now.” Freya teased, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Maybe so,” Tav chuckled. But it's definitely one of the teachings that have helped me. Maybe it could help you too?”

Tav's fingers inched closer to Freya, stopping short of the crate to let her make a decision. For years, Freya held in that pain; if managed to weigh heavily on her heart. If she was going to let it all out, Tav would be the perfect person to confide in. However, the years of keeping her sorrows in check made it difficult to open up. It was simply easier to bottle it all up, no matter how desperately she wanted to let it all out. She reached out, holding the tip of their finger. “Perhaps another time, when I'm more sober.”

”Fair enough.” A warm smile appeared on Tav's face. “You are pretty drunk.”

“You're drunker.” Freya felt her cheeks heat up.

Wyll cleared his throat. “If you want my opinion, you both are pretty drunk.”

“You're hardly innocent.” Tav let out a scoff. “You've been refilling all of our glasses before they emptied.”

“And how many glasses have you had?” Freya spat out.

“You're all lightweights.” Karlach laughed as she took another swig of her beer.

“No I'm not!” Freya gave a pout.

A Playful gleam danced in her eyes, but she quickly brushed it off. “I can't tease you right now, soldier. Not after what you went through.”

“I thought I said to spare your sympathy for someone who needed it.” Freya said with a sigh.

“I am.” There was a lengthy rant prepared in Freya's head, but those ember eyes melted away her hardened demeanor. Feeling totally disarmed by Karlach, Freya just looked away giving a soft nod.

“Perhaps it's time we call it a night.” Tav yawned.

“Agreed.” Wyll stood up to grab some of the bottles. When he reached for the bottle on the crate, he stopped and looked over to Freya. “Try to get some rest.” He said before retreating off to his tent.

Tav rose to their feet and turned to Freya. “Do you wanna bunk with me tonight?”

A tired smile appeared on Freya's lips. “Of course I would.”

Their hand curled around her small frame, the warmth luring her into relaxing as she was lifted up.

Karlach laid back on her bedroll. “See you in the morning, soldiers.”

“You too.”

As they left the tiefling to herself, Freya felt her eyelids growing heavier. Each step Tav took was soft and gently swaying the borrower in rhythmically.

“Will you be okay?” Tav asked in a whisper.

“Yeah.” She murmured and leaned back into the crevice of Tav's hand, with a half-lidded gaze, she drank in their face, their green eyes like a peaceful forest she could get lost in. Tav said something but she didn't catch it as her mind was drifting into a slumber. Her past and upbringing should have had Freya tense in A large one's hands, but Tav was not her past; they were their future, and Freya never felt more safe in their hands.

[rarepears]

Hi there! Just found your Tumblr yesterday and fell in love with your writing style. Keep up the good work 👍

I had an Au idea I wanted to share. It's a Solo Leveling x SVSSS crossover au with some Shencest.

Basically, after he dies, Shen Yuan is reincarnated as a rare white cat spirit/demon child that can heal any injury and who's blood can cure any illness or poison. However, his race is believed to be a myth. (Of course until LHB finds & kills the last remaining one to cure his wife's incurable disease)

Anyway, SY is found by Sung Jinwoo, who promptly adopts the young cat boy seeing as there are no parents in sight.

SY being raised by sjw, Beru, Igris and the shadows.

SY likes to explore in his cat form often and one day, is picked by none other than Qiu Haitang (SY doesn't figure this out till later). Thinking SY is an ordinary cat, she takes him home.

While at the Qiu Manor, SY meets Shen Jiu. SY doesn't think much of SJ until he notices the bruises and scars carefully hidden underneath his clothes.

SY ends up staying at the Qiu Manor after witnessing SJ being beaten by Qiu Jianluo. SY reveals himself to SJ after healing the slave's injuries.

SY tries to convince SJ to escape with him, but SJ refuses, still under the belief that Qi-ge is going to come for him.

SY eventually snaps (likely when qjl attempted to sa SJ) and after nearly mauling qjl to death, SY grabs SJ and books it out of the Qiu Manor.

Afterwards, SJ ends up living with SY in sjw's huge mansion.

SJ ends up falling for SY and SY...being SY, is completely obvious to SJ's clear feelings for him. But you know who isn't? Beru! As soon as he notices, he goes into matchmaker mode.

SJ still ends up going to cang qiong mountain and a peak lord, while SY becomes a famed miracle healer as well as his well informed bestiaries.

This along with SY's status as the son of the mysterious, yet powerful cultivator sung Jinwoo causes, SY to gain a number of suitors, much to SJ's annoyance and anger.

Of course, SJ isn't gonna let anyone take his place by SY.

Ah yes, Luo Binghe, the human-shaped meteorite bringing about the 5th wave of mass extinction .

Anyhow, I think instead of Sung Jinwoo who decided to take home a cat to raise, it was either (or both) Beru wanting to have a pet cat or Shen Yuan deciding he needs a thigh to cling because being a wild animal is so much harder than he expected. He's only meant for a life of pampering and spoiling like a proper indoor cat, okay?!

And like a scum cat, Shen Yuan likes sneaking out during the day and finding a "second" owner to feed and pamper him (and who doesn't realize that this cat already has owners and thus is getting twice the meals). It just so happens to be the Qiu family that's his second family. The mistress family, if you will.

And that's how Shen Yuan meets Shen Jiu and forcible takes Shen Jiu away like a naughty kitten.

Although I'm not sure how in your AU a human is going to fall in love with a cat? I mean a demon cat is still a cat. And no where in this do you bring up a cat having a human form so...

[More in #cat!shen yuan adopts a human shen jiu AU]

[rakubalka]

Shortly after being accepted into the Black Bulls Asta gets put as the stand on medic for his squad by himself .

Late on he gets put as the actual main madic for his squad because Grordon the only other person who knows any sufficient amount of medicine can't heal properly because of his poison element . When people find out he is an actual doctor that is , the with years of practice are a bonus .

One of the first things he does is teach everyone especially Vanessa how to sew wounds . He also starts to give medication to however needs it and overall tries to keep them in good health .

They mainly consist of the following :

Yami :

Immediately got banned from smoking

Would complain from the lack of smoke if he wasn't testing the medical drugs Asta is trying to feed him to detirmen what works best

As a result there are moments he has some of the worst headaches in his life and moments of absolute bliss of no longer having to feel peoples magic at all

Also as a side effects suffers from stomach and/or digestive problems partially because of medication partially because of just genetics

I wanted to keep the gag while giving an explanation and it was either this or making Yami lactose intolerant

Maybe both

Later on got given TheTalk™ from Asta

Finral :

Has mostly normal check-ups

Gets checked regularly for any poison attempt's by both Asta and Gordon

None have worked so far

Absolutely willing to either help or just directly supply any and all medical plants Asta wants

Was the first person to get TheTalk™ from Asta

Nacht :

The moment Asta finally gets his hand on him Nacht is going to pray to every God out there for help

Jokes on him

Asta has WAY more connections than him

He isn't going to like the vaccination

Neither will he like being put before a mind healing specialist doctor but he doesn't have a choice

Because displeasing Asta in the Medic™ mood is going to get all the fear he needs for a lifetime put in him in a few minutes so he shuts up and listens carefully

Nacht doesn't know what he is more - impressed , absolutely terrified or romantically interested in a never before seen by himself way

Apparently he has a type and that is a kind hearted and compasioned very competent absolutely terrifying people

He has no idea how to deal with those feelings especially for people who are half his age

He thought Asta was bad enough on his own and then he met Rebecca

And started to even more seriously question his taste

He didn't start to romantically pursue either of them before they're in their 20's however because he does have standards and one of them is not dating a child or grooming said child

Gordon :

Finally has a doctor who can help him heal without his mana going hare wire

Started to receive both medical cream and better medical make up from Asta to help with his skin condition

He and Asta gave the recipes to his family as the skin condition runs in it

Both of them along with Zora and however knows enough rune magic are trying to make a magical instrument to amplify sound so in a dire situations he can scream for help or to help get peoples attention for something important

Because he has an old scar/wound on his vocal cords making him unable to speak barely above a whisper he carries a notebook to communicate

Gray :

After getting Gray the check up they immediately got to TheTalk™

Both Asta and Gray come to the conclusion that with Gray experiencing very little if any gender dysphoria when constantly transformed might mean they are nonbinary , gender fluid , agender or something else they don't know at the moment

The only thing Asta recommends is more moving and to eat more

Also starts Gray on taking anti anxiety medications

Later after Gray Gordon and Gauche started dating in a trouple he gives them the longer more detailed version of TheTalk™

Gauche :

Asta immediately got up to speed by Mother Theresa(the nun) , Captain Yami and Finral as to their plan to get through Gauche tick skull that he finally has a proper support system and needs to stop being so co-dependent on his sister as it's not healthy for either of them

Asta also starts to search for a mage that can finally properly and more importantly permanently heal the wound in Gauche's nose that causes him to get a nose bleed any time he fell even a speck to much of love , be it platonic or romantic

The wound in question is almost as old as Marie and that and never healed properly

He is in love with his sister PLATONICALLY , not romantically cause that would be nasty

He is practically her parent figure and I don't think I need to explain how fucked it would be for your parent figure to be romantically interested in you , and while I want to point just how desperately he needs help because of all the mental problems he has that line I am not crossong

Also at some point also gets Gauche to start seeing a mind healer regularly because he desperately needs it

Vanessa :

Got banned from drinking permanently

Got started on both anti depression and anti mana overstimulation drugs because she definitely needs it

Charmy :

At first Asta though she had problems

Then later on found out she is just a human-dwarf hybrid and was like "that explains it"

Other than that she is in perfect health

But they both had to re-organize the menu and what ingredients are allowed because the only reason no one is having mana induced cancer is because of Henry taking the extra mana

Fun fact for this - the way we see Charmy is purely stylistic to us to everyone else she looks like a normal young lady around Asta's height when in her dwarf form , in her human form however she is actually taller than Julius

Zara :

The moment Asta finds he is a member he gets the vaccines and the long overdue check up

Also any and all insects he presents to Asta are either getting a) made into medicine , b) given to Charmy to cook or c) eaten raw

Needless to say Zora is both terrified and impressed of Asta

And when he learns Asta full name and does a double take . Because this is the older of the Winter Brothers™ of Hage village !?!

He is honestly surprised he didn't get jumped by the other one

Not that he didn't get death treats stares from Yuno mind you he just didn't realize that Yuno is fully ready to kill him and take care of the body by himself

He is terrified

He also gets bullied by Asta to wear sunscream

Henry :

Gets his check up regularly

Is on a very strict dietary and exorcise plan made by Asta so he is in good health

Also started to get documented by Asta as while there have been people with this curse/sickness in history they are still pretty rare

Nero :

First started getting check ups not by Asta but by a veterinarian

Later it came out she has a human form

Asta has no idea how the Deal™ would have affected Nero so he tries to monitor her health a lot so that he can understand what is healthy for her

Also while looking like a young adult she is very much a grandma at heart , she does mother hen people into seeing Asta

Luck :

Immediately gets started on anti mana overstimulation drugs

Also tried anti anxiety medications, it did not work and if anything it made tings worse

Got permanently put with a mind healer similar to Gauche

Magna :

Got a plan to up his mana capacity by Asta and Charmy

Also got to a mind healer because of self worth issues

Still batshit insane and yet one if not the sanest member of his squad

Noelle :

Asta saw the family issues and mana problems a mile away

And decided she is one of his now effective immediately

She can't go to a mind healer other than Mark because of security reasons but that doesn't stop her family from being a supporting environment

And while therapy is out the table at the moment

She still starts to take medical drugs from Asta like everyone with high mana

Vanessa's and Captain Yami instructions and advices as to how to better her control are very informative and useful

Later on also gets tutored by Klaus on how to move metal mana or just heavier and denser mana

Libei :

Asta is banging his head at the wall but mark his word he will make sure everyone he cares about is safe , healthy and happy and Libei is in that group of people

Asta(himself) :

Has a visit to the doctor around two time a moth

Can actually get given directly to the newbie to use healing as Asta's body will react positive to any healing other than the one using one own mana to do it

Any and all questions are welcome

Might later on also add the future members

[rzyraffek]

Can you write more stuff about Benny (fnv)??

I don't have any ideas though

Um

Uh

I LOVE BENNY ONG I THOUGH ALL FNV FANS WENT EXTINCT

Sfw, they/them, Request open (if you want some nsfw hit me up, I got som ideas)

Benny Gecko headcanons

Lets start with obvious stuff. This guy did not plan a serious relationship, he is open to one night stands but never to acuall love... untill s/o came

Yeah he is not a good boyfriend material, nor husband BUT he is definitely a sugar daddy

Cuz this guy love language is 100% spoiling s/o with expensive gifts, good drinks, nice new clothes ect (he also loves when s/o holds his forearm while they are walking together)

Totally made sure that when s/o is vegas they have security

Tbh this relationship isn't official (i mean at the start, before he acually gets attached) so feel free to bang vulpes or other weirdos while out of vegas

Plots on bombing Mr house with ya... just kidding he is tottaly gatekeeping everything about his job, except that its cool and it makes him look important

Will totally do dumb shit to impress them

Drunk Benny is even funnier than sober benny

Loves kisses on cheek and nose. Sometiems he acts like gentleman and kisses s/o's hand when they greet or give them his coat if they forgot theirs

S/o outfits cost more than kidneys on blackmarket

No children. My guy is child free. Hates them also hes job is dangerous he doesnt want to risk s/o rising kid alone in mojave

When I was younger(8) I thought he was Italian

Okay okay.... BUT if s/o has a kid or they have to babysit some random child, dude is great father figure!!! Let's kid paint his nails and nap on him.

Totally has tattoos under that suit

Had piercing in his ear as teen, it healed badly and now he has scar

Wants to cuddle at night but he is a living heater and its already very hot in Vegas so good luck s/o

Okay but stuff gets real goofy if s/o is a Courier (includes spoilers?)

Okay... imagine... Courier s/o but they still kinda don't remember the whole 'lmao i- Benny gecko shoot you L bozo' part of fnv lore

Like he would acually feel bad... S/o is so nice to him, they have no clue that he was the one who made them loose at least 20iq points

IMAGINE Courier (with widow perk) waking up without Benny next to them and seeing that he only left a note that hes leaving. Tbh I would be so pissed. And imagine s/o reaction when they see him all tied up in some funny tent (legion camp) surrounded by gay furries (legionaries). Tbh I would think that hes cheating on me or something

Anyways, most of companions are probably shoked that Courier acually found this peace of human trash attractive

100% sure he had beef with vulpes even before the fnv game starts

You guy can bomb mr house together 🥰 vegas will be all yours! Sharing is caring

Never will tell s/o that he was the one that acually shot them lol