#I mean she genuinely thinks this is a game sure but uhhh what

[apocalypta-secundus]

what type of villain are you?

the mastermind

everything is a game for you, and being the winner is the only possibility that you can consider. people are nothing but mere tools for you, and you don’t hesitate to throw them out once you used them. be careful, because this throne is not a place where you want to let your guard down.

Tagged by: @historias-multorum

Tagging: @all-consumingfear, @agnessmadness (Askin), @ichigokurosaki, @icybreaths, @baiika (Aizen)

[chihirolovebot]

and so it is possible to evaluate the attitude of other participants in the game of a physicist from one to ten? I'm terribly interested in the relationship of physics and maki.

i THINK i understand what this means but if ive gotten it wrong just . shoot me another message clarifying and i'll redo it . i believe ur asking me to rate how the other participants feel about physicist on a scale of 1-10 ? let's say 1 is enemies and 10 is their closest friends.

i'll start with physicist's weakest relationships and work my way up to their strongest !

shinguji — 1/10, not really any friendship built before the incident where shinguji tried to murder phys; likewise, phys always felt vaguely distrustful and creeped out by kiyo even before the incident. a very safe last place.

yonaga — 3/10, one of the only characters physicist has had a real, longstanding problem with. phys is generally pretty passive, but yonaga definitely managed to piss them off by brainwashing kiibo and trying to control the student population. i don't think yonaga had any grudge against phys personally, though.

shirogane — 4/10, phys seems very neutral and sometimes irritated by shirogane. throughout the story, shirogane is rarely seen standing up for physicist, generally quick to believe they are guilty when accused.

houshi — 5/10. i don't think physicist ever had any sort of problem with houshi, they simply didn't know him well enough before he died to really feel close to him. i think they would get on if they had more time to spend together.

yumeno — 5/10. again, physicist is mostly neutral on yumeno, but their opinions on her probably skew a bit more positively than shirogane. yumeno has definitely earned sympathy points from physicist and has moments where she tries to believe in physicist's innocence.

gokuhara — 6/10. we're starting to move onto people physicist likes now. gokuhara is ranked low because i wouldn't consider himself and physicist to have a very deep relationship beyond generally liking each other, though. their relationship was definitely tainted by chapter five, too. i think gokuhara only cared for phys as much as he did all the other students, and physicist liked him well enough and felt it hard when he died.

iruma — 6/10 physicist tends to think iruma is a little much, but they definitely appreciate her as a scientist. iruma is a coward, so she's for sure very jumpy and paranoid around phys after they kill korekiyo, but killing game circumstances nonwithstanding i think they'd be pretty good friends.

akamatsu — 6/10, akamatsu was definitely super important in physicist's early development, i think she gave physicist a lot of hope and she would be remembered a lot more fondly by physicist if she hadn't murdered amami and started the killing game.

harukawa — 6/10, an interesting relationship for sure !! they start out in a super rocky place with harukawa accusing physicist of amami's murder and being stubborn when confronted with reason, and physicist disliking her because of it. there's a lot of shaky points for them, but i think they've both grown to a place of mutual respect. they may not ever be close friends, especially in the killing game, but they've learned to appreciate the other at the very least.

momota — 6/10. a source of strength for physicist, although their philosophies dont always align. their relationship is weakened a little by momota refusing to see physicist's agency in their relationship with ouma.

toujo — 7/10. ranked a little lower for the whole uhhh toujo considering killing physicist and trying to throw them under the bus about it thing. but pre-ch2 they were very close. i think phys is the closest anyone got to seeing toujo as a person, and toujo genuinely cared for and respected phys a lot.

chabashira — 8/10. another relationship that needed a lot of time to evolve. chabashira and phys didn't really interact meaningfully until chabashira discovered them after killing kiyo and helped cover it up. since then they've grown incredibly close, something of a result of chabashira being the only one to see phys like that, and continuing to have faith in them. one of the only people to see the real phys, i think.

saihara — 8/10. these two have a more subtle relationship i guess, but still extremely close. saihara believes in phys a lot, not just because of his detective's intuition, and they mean a lot to him. both of them care for the other deeply, and beyond that, want to be cared for by the other. they each find comfort in talking about their grief and regrets, and have near-unwavering faith in the other.

amami — 8/10. only isn't a 9 because of his secrecy and the amount of stuff physicist doesn't know about him, but needless to say amami very much acted as physicist's rock in chapter one and that losing him in such a brutal way damaged them to their core. amami, in turn, adored physicist in a sorta big-brother way, felt pretty protective of them. i think it said a lot that he told them he'd come find them first after ending the killing game? he grew to feel pretty close and protective to them in the short time they had together. physicist constantly looks to his memory for advice on what to do when they're struggling.

ouma — 9/10. this bastard. he's so high up because he probably knows phys better than anyone else, and the same goes for phys knowing him. phys is closer to him than anyone in canon ever got, and although they've had a very very rocky journey they both harbour indisputable respect for the other. there's something so intimate abt their knowledge about each other, the way they know the exact things the other wants to keep hidden the most. he's ranked a point lower than a ten because of his obsessive paranoia and trust issues, and also his struggle to get over phys killing kiyo and using them in his plan to kill iruma and gokuhara.

kiibo — 10/10. u may question this ranking when thinking about the recent distance between them but i raise you . in regards to each other , everything phys and kiibo have done is a result of extenuating circumstances and not their own actions. phys only allowed iruma to be killed because they believed the world is virtual and iruma wouldn't actually be dying, and only distances him because they can't tell anyone at all about the plan to catch the mastermind. circumstances nonwithstanding, physicist and kiibo love each other. they are best friends, they trust the other wholeheartedly, always the first to jump to the other's defence. kiibo's faith in physicist is incredibly stubborn at times because he knows who they are deep down, and the same for physicist. anyway. they mean everything to me :3

[thegoldenarcher]

alrighty well i had too much to say in a reply so im making a lil post for ya!! @deafening-radio-silence thanks for asking btw :)

i had to write them out in my notes app bc the moment im asked anything i forget everything i know

sometimes i like to make clint Taller >:3 (instead of 6'3 i will put him at 6'5 for fun and games)

i don't actually know if this is canon and im pretty sure its a popular one but matt (murdock) is his lawyer

he doesn't keep very much in his wallet. a few bucks. his ID/license. matt's business card. an expired coupon to somewhere that he just,, doesn't throw out. maybe a picture of him n bucky who knows

this one is a little uhhh i guess different and i don't necessarily include it in Every story/setting/AU but it's fun to think about him not feeling any physical pain. just bc he's notorious for being able to take a punch and keep goin. so it's fun to write him pushing himself past his limits because he genuinely can't feel it :) (i love to make him suffer) (but also please god give him a break)

i heard recently alpine hates everyone except bucky... and clint (in my hc lol). imagining clint meeting her for the first time and scooping her up and she Doesn't hiss and scratch and try to squirm out of his arms? bucky would just have to stand and watch it happen...

it's actually canon but still, reminding y'all he's really good at video games because of hand/eye coordination

headcanon that he can cook. he loves food. Let Him Fucking Cook.

anyway yeah that's just ,,, some of it.,.,... i hope u like it :)

edit: SHIT i wanted to add a thing,,

clint? fucked ass nose. that bitch broke it too many times. it's a lil busted even when it's not busted if ya get what i mean LOL

[constantvariations]

V9C7

I am postponing writing a very delicious scene so y’all better appreciate this ;P

Post Ep: these last 3 eps are going to be carrying so much weight but at least we might be working towards Ruby’s decaying arc

Okay, totally random thought while I was watching the OP (I always watch OPs unless they’re particularly awful. It’s a compulsion idk) but I think it’d be hella cool if the blacksmith was Alyx. Whether the real Alyx isn’t the one who made it out or she came back for whatever reason (not dying ever is appealing to some, I hear), it’d be a neat twist

I’m not into 3d animation, so I can’t say a whole lot, but are the textures supposed to be this... weird? Last episode I said Jaune’s house looked like a ps2 game and it just keeps going

“I’m late! I’m late!” Okay, that’s a decent Alice in Wonderland nod. Not overdone or wink wonked, which can be annoying to those who don’t know the joke (man, I should watch Shrek again. The first two movies are masterpieces)

Wait, was that a dammit? Jaune canonically swears now. Huh

“Right on time.” It’s obviously not a time loop so what does this mean? Did the time fruit do more than just send him back in time but gave him even more of a spotlight in Wonderland? He’s a rusted knight, he’s the white rabbit, he’s murbling like he’s the mad hatter; what next, is he gonna be Jesus?

“Hurry! People are counting on us.” Uhhh people counted on you to fight the jabberwock and y’all bailed like frightened horses. I wouldn’t count on you with my fingers, much less my life

PAPER TOWNS MY BELOATHED

Okay, so we’re being hit yet again with the “what are you” question, which wouldn’t be weird if it wasn’t just our protags being bombarded with it. Surely there are some critters who venture over into new areas? Or perhaps new life occurs every now and again? The repetition has been annoying for a while, but it’s venturing into just plain silly “-so that we may serve you.” What. Why. Kill me

While I do like the designs of the paper stars, I’m really not digging the vibes. Sorry stars, you will never be the plupples from the Hot Daga

“Paper pleasers” I hate that I actually like that pun

Why is the team reacting so negatively to the stars being named after them? That’s genuinely fucking sad. Yet another instance of the show zooming by actual trauma for a cheap gag

Dude has spent who know how many years without a genuine personal connection, has been spending that time exploring the area and gaining its people’s trust, AND has shared his home with these people, yet when they talk to him about anything Wonderland related, they act like he’s saying he’s going to make them into shoes or something while having the audacity to be disappointed that he doesn’t have a solid lead on getting out. These girls are deplorable

Why are RWBY so lackluster about doing literal life-saving tasks while Jaune follows a hunch? You’re Hunters, that’s your job. Quit acting like life in Wonderland is beneath you because you don’t understand it jfc

I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many different visual styles in a single show before. There’s the standard 3d, the color silhouettes (solid and textured), some microsoft paint scribbles, a few 2d stills, and now this children’s book style. Feels like an identity crisis

I understand Jaune’s perception of the tree, but I really don’t like how he overrides the autonomy of the villagers. If they’re literally willing to self-mutilate in order to leave, that’s probably a sign that you should let them go

Love how Weiss’s interest in Jaune disappears the moment he shows signs of mental illness. Gives me the warm and fuzzies *smash cut to me barfing in a dumpster*

“Because I can actually protect these people!” That is definitely a response to trauma that fits well with this narrative. Let’s see how MKEK fuck it up!

Jaune kills 2 jabbers in like 0.0003 seconds. Why in the everloving fuck did y’all have to run before?

I’m just realizing this is the first fight I’ve actually paid attention to. No idea why, but every fight previous my eyes have just glazed over. But I gotta say, I think the camera is way too close to the action. There’s definitely some interesting choreography going on but it’s hard to get a grasp on where everyone is at any point, and the bland environment isn’t helping. Go watch John Wick for some pointers

Unsure as to why Ruby is a) the only one apparently traumatized to the point of nearly 180-ing her character and b) why it’s specifically Crescent Rose/combat that triggers her. MKEK know how to throw bones but they can’t dish out any real substance

Someone please give that creature a cough drop or something because I cannot understand a word this fucker says

I thought Neo’s semblance was illusions? Pretty sure it’s called Imagination, which definitely implies it’s not a physical shifting ability. So, if the jabber-Neo had taken a bite of Ruby, would that mean Neo is chomping down? Would Ruby get stabbed with semblance glass? Or did the writers forget their own rules again?

ONCE A FUCKING GAIN WE ARE INTERRUPTED LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEONE ASKING IF RUBY IS OKAY. WE ARE SEVEN EPISODES INTO A TEN EPISODE SEASON GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT

This “don’t ask me because I’m a leader” bit is really strange coming right off the several minute conversation about finding leads to getting home where not one person even looked at Ruby. Like, this was a request for supporting a platitude not a demand for a plan

“Why do I have to be the one to always pick people up?” First of all, no one asked you to, so jot that down. Second of all, bitch you have never been the sole sally sunshine, nor were you the only one helping others with emotions. Yang picked up Blake in V2, Jaune reassured YOU back in V4, Weiss talked to Yang in V5, Qrow comforted YOU in V7 and his main source of kindness was Clover (rip good boy). You’ve had your moments but don’t act like you’re the only one pulling emotional weight

Also, this voice acting is making me laugh I cannot take this seriously whatsoever

Why in the hickory dickory fuck is Blake hiding behind Yang and YANG WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE YOUR SISTER IS A FUCKING THREAT

In this scenario, it does make sense why Jaune’s the one who snaps, but holy cannoli batman I cannot stop thinking about how much better Yang would’ve been in this position, especially after the group split in V8. Sure, that conflict was contrite to begin with and its resolution unmemorable (did it even resolve? I’m not subjecting myself to V8 again), but it’d be so much spicier if the family divide grew in absence

Skipping right past Ruby’s breakdown to focus on Jaune’s. Huzzah. At least his is more interesting and grounded than hers

Genuinely impressed with Luna’s voice here. Dude should go bananas more often

I am once again asking if the team knows about Penny or if Jaune’s been keeping that juicy bit to himself. The way the camera focused on his mouth made it seem like he was about to confess, but it was a tease. I got narrative blue balls over here man, get on with it

Wasn’t it usually Yang who tried for positivity in dark times? Or did that get left at Beacon too? Blake’s supposed to be the realist, which maybe that’s what she was trying to do here but considering her track record I doubt it

And R leaves WBY behind! Please let this mean we can FINALLY focus on her shit and not cut away from it? And they better bring the cat back or Else

[noco7]

What do you think of All Stars and how the writers handled the characters?

Now, I don’t know how much of a hot-take this is, but I don’t find All Stars that uniquely bad, at least for Total Drama. Unjust eliminations and lost potential? I’m a Noah stan who had to watch I See London, and then see Blaineley take his place. Villain that nobody votes out despite the obvious? I’ve watched Heather dodge elimination after elimination in Island and World Tour alike. Random evil mental disorder? That’s just Trent in Action, baby. All Stars is more of the same bad writing, just cranked up a little higher and all at once. But it’s still the same bad writing. Tho, I may be a little biased here. Not because I like All Stars, I don’t - but I knew how bad it was before I watched it. I had seen the rants about every major plot point before I watched a single episode. So I never had hopes for the thing. Perhaps that explains my detachment during viewing. And I'm gonna be honest - I *don’t* have strong feelings on most gen 1 characters, so it’s hard for me to work up the passion about their character derailment. 

But if you still want my specific thoughts on each character:

Courtney: As one of the few gen 1 characters I do care about, I should probably be more mad about Suddy Muddy Sundae then I actually am. But uhhh. I actually like it when Courtney is evil and mean, lol. So the idea of her betraying a close friend? That’s funky, that’s cool - in isolation, that is. In the context of the show, it doesn’t really work. There’s no foreshadowing to the twist, there’s no gradual darkening of her character. It’s just “And Now Courtney does something Evil.” Great. My condolences to anyone who watched this show blind and thought they were getting a character development arc. Probably felt like a slap in the face. But out of context, the idea isn’t that bad. 

It's like that Game of Thrones thing, with Daenarys going evil. Could it believably happen? Sure. But should it have happened so fast? NO.

Gwen: ... Ehh. I think this season was trying to redeem her from WT. That's why she's trying so hard to apologize, that’s why Gwuncan breaks up. And that’s why Gwen says "he wasn't your boyfriend.” I don’t think she was trying to lie, but that the writers wanted us to genuinely believe that, retcon style. But overall, she was fine. A little weird, because WHY is she trying so hard to makeup to Courtney, the girl she was barely friends with? WHY would she ever go back to Total Drama, the show that she hates being on, just for the girl that wasn’t even that good to her in the first place? That’s weird. But “character derailment,” is a lot easier to swallow when it makes the character a nicer person, isn’t it? Also the joke in the beginning where she's the only villain character trying to be sincere and help the team is pretty funny.

Aleheather: I’m grouping them together because they’re very similar people. Evil, conniving villain that no-one really trusts because they’ve seen it all before. They do both get more stupid in AS (why would Heather just leave the victory idol? and why does Alejandro not like... do more with the Mal plotline). But they’re still funny in their own rights. But as a ship, they were disappointing. I think that's because the writers did not know what to do with them after they got together. Which tbf, isn't just a TD problem. A lot of stories end when the characters get together. The romantic plotline is fulfilled. So what are you supposed to do in the sequel, when the Will-They/Won't-They is done? What now? TD's answer was just to pretend that their romantic arc WASN’T finished. So now they're back to hate-flirting, in the exact same way they did in WT. I think a person who cared more about Aleheather (@tdsierra) would probably have a lot more to say about the ship in All Stars, that might even contradict what I say here. But this is all I have to say on them.

Duncan: I don't hate him in AS. I think the whole "no one can know im a nice person," although exaggerated in AS, is true to Duncan as a character. He always had a masculinity so fragile a tap-dancing ant could break it. So whatever, I guess. Probably didn’t help that the girlfriends who used to boost his ego - Courtney and Gwen, left him behind. Tbh, he might be the best written character on All Stars. His ending of blowing up Chris’s house and going to jail does feel odd though. It’s such a sad end to his character. In TDI he was growing to open up, but in AS he’s so defensive that he ends up in jail. I don’t think it’s a bad ending persay, that he regressed. But it’s definitely sad to see. Also the bird he was friends with was ridiculously cute. I love that bird.

Sierra: Gonna be honest, although she is very different in AS - (in a like, psychosis way, when she never had them before) I don't know if I'd call it "character derailment," that she’s still obssessed with Cody and still a creep. Because honestly, I don’t think she ever stopped being one. We’ve never seen her acknowledge her actions as wrong, nor has she apologized/promised to do better. Even in the episode in WT where she accepts being Cody's best friend, she also tries to kiss him again. Perhaps this is the true hot take - Sierra never underwent character development in the first place. I also don't understand why she's on the Hero's team. Was it *heroic* when she stole Cody's underwear? Was it? Did the writers just put her there so as to even the numbers? Or did they buy into the idea that Sierra is a good person, despite being a stalker, because stalkers act out of “love,” and she always just wanted to “protect him.” And therefore, she’s a hero. But perhaps it’s just that she’s not a standard villain. All TD villains are in it for the money and have master-ish plans, while Sierra... does not. I guess that’s close enough to being a hero for AS team designations. Anyway, Sierra should have been cut from AS all together. Nothing here adds to her character, she didn’t belong on the heroes team. [However, if they put her on the villains team and she had to grapple with the idea that her actions were evil and terrible and learn from that... honestly could have been a baller redemption arc.]

Lindsay: Whatever. She was there for one episode, what do you want me to say? Lol. I guess I could say that I don't think she was "character derailed" (she has voted for herself before, and has been bad at voting, so I don’t think it’s OOC for her to vote for herself. 

SECOND GEN

Sam - I agree he should have been replaced with Brick. He doesn’t have anything to do this season. It is touching that he wants to be a mutant to be with his mutant gf though.

Jo - they did her such a disservice im crying thats my girl!!!! like she was such a cool character who had obvious development that needed to happen, and then they just chose not to. It's so weird. Especially when Cameron is on the show, and there's already a history between them. They could work smth out! Or not, but still. And if Brick was indeed on the show - that's another avenue for development! I love Jo, and she was still funny on AS but... they should have taken the chance to flesh her out. But they didn’t.

Honestly, the 2nd gen characters deserved more focus. And I'm not talking about Mike and Zoey, but Lightning and Jo. 1st gen had 3 whole seasons already to flex, but 2nd gen had only one shortened season. As such, maybe focusing on them would have been better.

Lightning: Man also deserved better. He was very funny though. But still.

Scott: This one's weird, because AS Scott is funny, but he is also a completely different person from ROTI Scott. I don't know what I would change about AS Scott, other than make him more like ROTI Scott. Also maybe he and Cameron could have teamed up to expose Mal, considering Scott also has experience with Mike's Alters.

Cameron: why did they make you so stupid. and why was he not able to expose Mal earlier? why? i did like the scene where he used Scott as bait for Fang tho. That was really funny. And I always wished Cameron had ended up as the Villain of ROTI, so it was gratifying.

Mike - ugh. Using his DID as his only plot point was bad enough in ROTI, but to also use it as the main plot of AS? Really guys. Read the room. Also, they were wrong about alters, and as multiple people have said, Mal should have been more of a protective alter, rather than just evil for the sake of it. But I think Mike was always a kind of boring character because his main/fronting alter is Mike. And Mike's just a boring guy. I feel like TDI was trying to do the activist thing where "people with X can still be good people!" and so you get the blandest characters. Think of the Love, Simon movie. "im such a normal guy EXCEPT im gay." that's the vibe with Mike. "im a normal guy EXCEPT i have DID." to prove that people with DID can be "normal." But it stops the character from being interesting, and also... is *normal* the thing we need to be aiming for? There's a lot of interesting discourse around that, but that's not important for this post, lol.

Zoey - she's Zoey. She wasn't a great character to start with and she's not a great character now. And she's also very stupid - Mal has that effect on people. It's hard to have strong feelings on a character you never cared about in the first place.

Overall I'd say that TD had a bad vision of making their most "evil" villain yet, and what makes a villain frightening is how much power they have over their victims... but the victims were all capable people who had won survival shows and were known for being smart and/or athletic. And instead of taking that into account and writing the villain better, they just... forced all the victims to be stupider. 

I think they should have written All Stars as a “wrap up loose character development season,” instead of coming up with a mega villain plot. Because total drama fans are in it for the Characters more than anything else. So just focus on growing them, and people would have been happy.

[deviantartdramahub]

4 notes

Ugh no, I dislike Marian bc she manipulated my friend Tam. She kept blocking then unblocking him, putting them in some kind of sick cat-and-mouse game. She always tried manipulating him away from me and Club, and her behavior was intolerable. Ik you're all for innocents getting manipulated, but I ain't dealing with it, dear.

3 notes

Honey what's so hard to understand that what was said was an OBVIOUS TYPO? That's why I paid no mind to it at first, BC I USED MY GODDAMN BRAINS! YOU WERE CLEARLY JUST USING IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO FURTHER HARASS CLUB! HE HID THE COMMENT BC YOU WERE FALSELY ACCUSING HIM OVER IT! Club isn't a groomer, and the people saying he is are either ableist trolls like you wanting a "good" excuse to harass someone, or they're misinformed people who were manipulated by said trolls. How many times will we have to explain it, smh. I would never support actual groomers (such as you lmao), but Club ISN"T ONE.

2 notes

Uhhh prettyyyy suree Loveless is the one stalking Club, lol. Wouldn't you be as paranoid as he was if you were getting endlessly slandered and harassed like that? Ugh. You do WAY worse to your enemies.

3 notes

Uh okay and you're just as bad as Sam. Only you're a whole group of people doing this shit. So in a way ig you're worse LMAO...also what happened wasn't Club or Tam's fault so quit making it up as it is.

3 notes

No Tam probably just wanted to defend their friend, why do you assume everything is Club's fault? I swear, one day they'll blame him for the birth of Hitler. And you know what's fucked up? Seeing Tam as nothing but a minion bc of his age. Oh and for the record, you DO lash out and attack them. All the damn time lmao. Do I even have to link the examples???

2 notes

Bro stop acting like Club's manipulating me when YOU'RE the ones clearly doing it! And just bc I'm a kid doesn't mean I can't say no! Saying children can't stand up for themselves is just wrong. But the reason I don't is bc I GENUINELY APPRECIATE AND CARE ABOUT CLUB! I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HIM! And if you did think this was true, why did you harass me later on for "not saying no" then? Tsk tsk tsk. And he supports all minorities. But when he made those cute little pride flag drawings YOU MADE FUN OF HIM FOR IT!

2 notes

Sweetheart if you're so sorry for us then stop contributing to our harassers and also quit accusing us of being future pedophiles. Just ew. Be ashamed of yourself now 7-7

0 notes

Not all of the hub attacked me, it was probably only Sam. Tri has always been friendly towards me and the whole group shouldn't be blamed for this. Keep in mind this is a place where ANYONE and EVERYONE is allowed to talk! Both good and bad people! Bc unlike you, Tri's actually fair. And unlike this group, YOUR ENTIRE GROUP WANTS TO HARASS ME!

6 notes

"why do this? is it cuz he gives you crappily drawn art? Is it cuz he tells you stupid shit like 'happy april hurr de durr’ is it cuz he gives you points and core which is WORTHLESS in the grander scheme of things?" Nah it's bc he's our friend and ya'll just salty you don't have any real ones 7w7

"If you continue to ignore this then sorry we are not going to protect you anymore if you are that brainwashed by that shit stained loser Club." Sweetie please you saying you were EVER protecting me is just gross. Kindly fuck off, if you really want me to be safe <3 (Which btw you don't, you're just disgusting manipulators.)

7 notes

Smh I'm his friend, and listening to a friend's problems IS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO FOR THEM! Club was NEVER trying to harm me! I'm completely fine with being there for him! BC HE'S MY FUCKING FRIEND! Is this how you would react to a friend of yours if they asked if they could vent to you? Just pitiful. If you don't have the emotional energy to listen to someone at the moment, politely tell them so like a normal person jfc.

3 notes

The only reason why he felt the need to seek validation from his friends is BECAUSE OF YOUR GOD-AWFUL TREATMENT OF HIM! You think you can do all the things you did and expect him to still be in a good mental health-state and have good self-thoughts? You think you can gang up on him and tell him he's a terrible person and expect him to not be insecure, scared, self-conscious, OR ANY OF THAT? You need to grow up and learn that your actions HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES, YOU GODDAMN SELFISH 6-YEAR-OLDS! But then again, you would never in your life care if you ever hurt a person, now would you?

Sighhhhh I think that's enough for now lol -w-

Bye, see you tomorrow evening, and sorry for this big one, hehe.

That’s alright. Some people like them have explaining to do, more than they ever can or will.

Regarding the eighth point, admittedly things have improved a lot ever since that was a problem. I can guarantee these days Sam is a non-issue, he may come around but would have his hands tied by better paradigms when he does.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1008: A Super Macho Beachy Day (SSBU)

1:34 p.m. at the Smash Beach's Picnic Area.....

Tifa: (Fluffing an Orange Pillow Up) Just a little more fluff annnnd....there. Pillow's ready for you now, Daisy. (Places the Pillow Down on the Long Picnic Seat in Front of Daisy)

Daisy: (Smiles Brightly) Thanks, Girl. (Grosns a Bit While Pulling her Casted Foot onto the Pillow in Question) You didn't have to bring a pillow out here for me. ('Whew')

Tifa: (Smiles Softly as She Sits Next to Daisy on the Other Sode of the Table) I know, but I just wanna make extra sure your foot is taken care of for your appointment tomorrow.

Daisy: (Sighs Heavily While Looking Up at the Blue Skies) Finally!~ I can get this case removed. It's been so loooong.

Tifa: (Starts Snickering) Daisy, it's only been a month and a half.

Daisy: So? It still felt like ages ago! (Crosses her Arms While Pouting) Slow days are the worst.....

Tifa: Yeah, but at least the healing process is finally done at the neck of time. Sorry you had to miss out on the Strikers' Leagues though. I know how much you like participating in those games.

Daisy: (Shrugs) Eh. It's fine. There's always the next few years down the road. (Starts Smirking) But no worries. Once the time comes, I'm gonna the biggest comeback ever! (Turns to Tifa) And I want you to join my team!

Tifa: (Eyes Begins to Widened in Genuine Surprise) You do?

Daisy: Hell yeah, girlfriend!~ I mean, have you seen your own kicks? They're almost quick and powerful as Chun-Li and Bayonetta's combined! (Place her Hand Around her Shoulder) Trust me, with your skills and my natural leadership, we would be a force to reckon with in the soccer field! So whaddya say?

Tifa: Well....It has been a while since I've played a soccer game....or any other sport for that matter....You know what? (Smiles Softly) Sure. I'd be happy to join your future team.

Daisy: (Smiles Brightly) Sweet!

??????: 'Sup, ladies~

The duo turns and see muscular, tan man with gray hair, wearing noting but a speedo grinning down at the two of them in a flirtatious manner.

??????: (Pulls Down his Shades From his Eyes) Fancy seeing you two here in this radical, sunny day today~ (His Teeth Begins to Shine Bright)

Daisy: (Already Weirded out by the Man's Presence Along With Tifa) Uhhhhhhh.......

Tifa: H-Hello! U-Um.....Who are you....exactly?

??????: ('Tch') Honestly. Do you not know who I am? The name's Macho Man. (Starts Flexing and Doing a Manly Like Pose) Suuuper Macho Man!

Daisy: (Grabs her Chin While Thinking) Macho Man....Macho Man.....Hey, aren't you that guy who lost to Little Mac more than once in the boxing match a while back?

Super Macho Man: (Immediately Gets Upset) NEVER MENTION THAT LITTLE TWERP IN MY PRESENCE AGAIN! I ONLY LOST CAUSE HE'S LUCKY!!! (Quickly Takes a Deep Breath Before Calming Down) Besides, that's all in the past now. (Starts Smirking Seductively) Right now, I'm thinking about the future you two will have with yours truly~

The self proclaimed macho man starts moving his pecs up and down before making them move faster and then turning around and making his butt jiggle, much to the girls' distaste.

Tifa: (Trying her Hardest Not to Throw Up) Wow! I uh....(Takes a Deep Breath Before Speaking) Listen, Mr.....uhhh.

Super Macho Man: Super. Macho Man.

Tifa: Right, right, Macho Man. Umm...We are.....really flattered by your.....affection towards us, but.....I'm afraid we're going to have to decline the offer.

Daisy: (Already Has an Annoyed Look on her Face) We're already taken. Go away.

Super Macho Man: ('Scoffs') Taken? HA! By who? A blonde, emo twink with abandonment issues and a wimpy scaredy cat for a Mario Bro? Who would wanna hang around with those bogus losers?

Daisy: (Angrily Slams her Hands Down onto the Table While Glaring at the Man in Question) Um. WE WOULD, ASSHOLE! I don't know what kind of frat boy, penthouse you've been living off of, but we just so happen to love our two boys to pieces, thank you!

Tifa: (Nodded in Agreement) That's right. (Starts Glaring at the Tan, Muscular Man as Well) And they're twice the men than you'll ever be.

Super Macho Man: ('Heh') Really? (Places his Arms Behind his Head Whole Doing Another Pose) Then how come those "men" of yours aren't rich and good looking as yours truly?

Tifa: (Starts Crossing her Arms While Rolling her Eyes) With all due respect, sir, but we think your looks aren't anything to write home about in hindsight.

Daisy: (Starts Snickering) Yeah. Look like an overcooked pot roast if you ask me?

Super Macho Man: A sexy overcooked pot roast?~ (Moves his Eyebrows Up and Down)

Daisy: ('Groans in Digust') No! A regular, annoying, unattractive one! (Sighs Heavily Place her Head onto the Palm of her Hand) I swear, where the hell is Little Mac when you need?

Super Macho Man: ('Groans in Pure Annoyance') Enough about the twerp already! Why do you have to keep bringing him up!?

Daisy: (Shrugs) I don't know! You guys fought before, right?

Tifa: Plus, you didn't really deny the fact that you lost against him. So.......

Super Macho Man: ('Scoffs') So nothing! Like i said, he only won cause he gotten lucky! (Crosses his Arms) I can totally take him down in five seconds flat the next time I see him! The same applies to your so called "men"!

?????: Really now?

Macho Man quickly turns around to see the blonde, emo twink he mentioned, holding a box of food and snacks in his hands while staring at him with a raised eyebrow.

Cloud: Don't really seem like a challenge, but I suppose punching that smug look on your face wouldn't be too much of a hassle.

Luigi: (Smiles Brightly While Holding Two Cups of Frozen Yogurt in his Hands) We're back!~

Daisy: (Happily Raises hers Hands Up at her Boyfriend) Weegie!~

Tifa: (Giggles Softly as She Gets Up From her Seat And Walk Towards her Boyfriend) Welcome back, you two~ Was the line getting too long for you guys earlier?

Cloud: Yep. (Kiss Tifa on the Lips) The heat from the sun didn't make it go any faster.

Luigi: (Gives Daisy her Frozen Yogurt) Plus, some of the prices for the food has gone up for the year, so it took a while for us to find anything that's more cheaper. (Turns to Daisy) B-But Daisy! How is your feet doing right now? Is it aching? You and Tifa didn't have a rough time getting here, did you?

Daisy: Babe, relax. We made it here just fine. (Gives Luigi a Cocky Smirk on her Face) And do you really think a simply foot injury could slow me down that easily?

Luigi: (Chuckles Lightly) Of course not. (Rubs the Back of his Head Back and Forth While Smiling Sheepishly) I'm just worried about the well-beings of the princess I love, as usual is all.

Daisy: (Heart Begins to Melt as She Happily Hugs her Man) You worrywart~ I love you too.

Luigi: Daisy, that's my stomach your hugging.

Daisy: I don't care. It's nice and comfy~ (Kiss Luigi's Stomach)

'Ahem' A-HEM'

The gang finally turn their attention to an impatient Macho Man, glaring at all of them.

Luigi: Oh! Uh....Do we...know you or....

The muscular, tan boxer was about to speak until.....

?????: As I live and breathe, it's Macho Man!

Everyone turn their heads to see Dedede and Escargoon walking towards the table together with a box of food and snacks of their own.

Escargoon: (Pulls his Sunglasses Down) No way. Is that really the guy Little Mac beat that one time?

Super Macho Man: (Groans Once More While Facepalming Himself) Can't I go one day without being remind of that half pint? (Turns to the Duo Woth a Glare on his Face) And my name is SUPER Macho Man! Get it right!

Escargoon: (Turns to Dedede For a Brief Turning Back to the Boxer in Question) Well, gee, sorry about that, mister. We just never really thought of calling you that in the start of your name.

Dedede: Yeah. (Starts Smirking in a Troll Like Fashion) 'Specially when your win and loss ratio isn't looking too hot nowadays.

Super Macho Man: ('Scoffs') What are you talking about? (Crosses his Arms While Looking Away) My track record in the ring is hella consistent.

Dedede: Oh really? Then how come in one match, Mr. Sandman knocked you out to sleep with one punch?

Super Macho Man: I....wasn't paying attention at the time. And he does that to everyone on the ring.

Cloud: Except for Little Mac.

Super Macho Man: (Glares at Cloud) I will punch you.

Tifa: (Immediately Gives the Boxer a Dark, Cold Glare) And I will break every bone in your body if you try.

Super Macho Man: (Gulps While Sweating and Being Scared Shitless by the Short Haired Woman) Noted.

Escargoon: Then what about the time you literally got knocked out of the ring by Bald Bull?

Super Macho Man: How was I supposed to know he was going to use his head to attack?

Escargoon: Does the name "Bald Bull" ever rang any bells to you? He always uses his head to ram into his opponents.

Super Macho Man: (Shrugs) I dunno. I just thought he was bald and look like an ugly bull.

Dedede: (Turns to Escargoon For a Brief Second Before Slowly Turning Back to Macho Man Again).....Riiiiiight. And then there's that match between you and Aran Ryan.

Super Macho Man: ('Uggggh') Don't remind me....He only won cause he's a shameless cheater.

Escargoon: Yeah. (Smirks at the Tan Boxer) But he still Molly Whopped your ass to next week.

Dedede: (Laughs Wholeheartedly) Ain't that right! Ooh! And that match with Glass Joe-

Super Macho Man: (Quickly Turns to Dedede and Escargoon with a Furious Glare) NO! Don't you DARE speak about that match in front of my presence!!

Cloud: Wait. Glass Joe. As in the guy who has over ninety-nine losses? (Turns to Super Macho Man) You lost to HIM once?

Dedede: Yeah! Last week!

Escargoon: It was one of the biggest highlights in all of WVBA!

Dedede: That man was cryin' tears of joy when he won that bout.

Super Macho Man: Oh spare me the sentiment bull crap! Croissant Boy only won that fight cause I was obviously feeling under the weather that day!

Escargoon: Then why did you even bother to step into that ring to begin with if you were sick?

Super Macho Man: So he wouldn't win by default. Duh!

Dedede: But wouldn't that been better than getting your ass pummeled on live TV? Where veryone of your fans and followers-

Daisy: (Whispers) If he even had one.

Dedede: would sat there and watch the whole thing play out?

Super Macho Man (Was About to Say something With his Finger Up in the Air Until Slowly Lowering it Down and Sighing a Bit) Okay. So maybe you do have a point there. B-But it doesn't and it never will change the fact that Glass Joe loser got himself lucky that night! (Crosses his Arms While Pouting) Would've make him add one more loss to his permanent record anyday of the week.

???: Mm.

Macho Man's eyes starts to open as he hears Cloud and the others talking among themselves.

Cloud: (Slowly Starts Shaking his Head) Couldn't admit defeat.

Daisy: I know, right? What a sore loser.

Tifa: We all have our moments of not wanting to admit our losses. (Turns to Macho Man) Even if some of us....have a punchable face.

Dedede: I bet if Little Mac was here, he would make him humble himself.

MM's eyes begins to widened by the mere mention that name as slowly starts to shaking in anger.

Escargoon: ('Scoffs') Doubt that. He'll probably go on and on about how he won over luck and we'll never hear the end of it.

Everyone: Yep./Uh-huh. / Sore loser at it's finest-

Super Macho Man: (Looks Up at the Sky in Anger) ENOUUUUUUGH! (Turns and Points at Luigi) You! Green boy!

Luigi: (Points at Himself in a Confused and a Tad Bit Nervous Manner) M-Me?

Super Macho Man: Yeah, you! (Sits Down at the Table While Putting his Elbow on it and Raises his Arm Up) Arm wrestle me, NOW!

Luigi: (Even More Confused) But.....why me exactly?

Super Macho Man: Your color scheme. It pisses me off!

Luigi: (Looks Down on the Black Tank Top and Green Trunks He's Wearing Before Looking Back at the Tan Boxer) I'm.....not really sure if that's a good reason to-

Super Macho Man: I DON'T CARE! I am not leaving here until you give me what I want!

Luigi: B-But-

Cloud: ('Sighs in Annoyance and Defeat') Just do what he says, Weeg. He's never gonna leave us alone at this rate.

Dedede: He ain't wrong on this one, boy. The man's persistent.

Luigi: (Sees Macho Man Crack his Finger's Knuckles Before Sighing in Defeat) If I must......(Sits Down on the Opposite Side of the Table) l I wish me luck.....

Daisy: (Starts Rubbing her Man's Shoulders With a Supportive Smile) Stay calm, sweetie. You can do this.

Luigi: (Takes a Deep Breath Before Nodding) Right. (Turns Back to the Tan Boxer in Front of Him Before Slowly Pullinghis Hand Out to Him) U-Umm....May the best man win?

Super Macho Man: (Chuckled While Grabbing his Opponent's Hand Tight) You better prepare yourself Player #2. Cuz I'm gonna show you why all of my fans in the whole wide globe call me the One and Only SUPER MACHO MA-

Five Seconds Later.......

Everyone free cheers for Luigi's speedy victory over the dumbfounded Macho Man in the game of Arms Wrestling.

Cloud: (Smirks Proudly at his Plumber Friend) Gotta say, Weeg, that was pretty well display of muscle strength you got there.

Dedede: (Smiles Brightly) Damn right! How gotten so strong like that?

Luigi: (Starts Rubbing The Back of his Head Back and Forth While Blushing and Smiling Sheepishly) I guess my daily morning workout routine really does payoff after all. (Turns to Daisy) And it's all thanks to you, dear. (Kiss his Princess on the Cheek)

Daisy: (Giggles Softly) You don't need to thank me for that, babe~ (Hugs Luigi Lovingly) I'm just happy to see you making progress. But makes me more happy....(Turns to the Tan Boxer With a Satisfied Grin on her Face) Is seeing you outta here! So bye-bye!

Super Macho Man: (Still Dumbfounded) .......................

Tifa: (Starts Snapping her Fingers in Front of Macho Man with Very Little Results) Uhhhh guys....I think we might've broke him.

Cloud: (Shrugs) Hey, if it means we don't have hear him speak for a while, then I ain't complaining.

Escargoon: Neither do I. I never really like that guy.

Dedede: Same here. Y'all wanna eat somewhere

Tifa: (Happily Nodded) Sure! (Picks Daisy's Crunches Up From the Side of the Table While Walking Away With Dedede and the Others)

Escargoon: I don't mind.

Cloud: It's a lot of moving, but sure.

Luigi: I....(Picks Daisy's Up From the Table) Gotcha! Ready to go?

Daisy: (Smiles Brightly) Ready as you are!~ Let's find a comfy chair to sit together, yeah?

Luigi: (Finally Begins to Walks Away From the Table as Well) Yes, ma'am.

As the not so Super Macho Man continues to look silent dumbfounded by what just happened, the second well known champ of the WVBA Mr. Sandman shook his head at him in the background before walking away, causing the tan boxer to slam his head down on the table.

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@albion-93

@ma-lemons

@princekirijo

@caleb13frede

@tampire

[daxieoclock]

🥺🛒🎶💖🦅🤩🤲 and 🧠 for Haru!!! :D

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK AAA

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Uhhh okay so I'm such a fucking sucker for when a character's mask involuntarily slips, but I also fucking love when a character intentionally lets down that mask as a gesture of trust. fucking kills me every time. In Red Gaia, you've got when Vee drops her unaffected shtick around Tifa and starts being full and genuine with her. And in DV, you've got when Akechi surrenders their knife to Kasumi, and early on the scene where Ren drops the lies fully for Ann that just fucking kills me every time.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

@lilyhoshikawa hooked me on scar imagery, @mcpuliotjr hooked me on egg imagery, but. masks. masks are all me. i mean it's big inspired by persona 5 obviously but i think the initial piece of media that made me start obsessing with masks was Bleach. if you know you know.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Always. always always. I sometimes have to pause it to think through tricky parts but music helps me so so much. g-d bless character playlists, really.

song wise ive been listening to the hosiers and des rocs a lot, but Worried About Ray has been my repeat song for a few weeks. still hits so hard.

💖 What made you start writing?

Can't remember! I was like eight, and I was always obsessed with stories and storytelling and it felt natural to me to make my own stories

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Column A, column B? If it's a big fic I've already outlined at least a chunk of it in my head, and I often have to write down those details to keep from losing them. Even then, I often and up coming up with stuff midway through writing that I'd never considered, or making big changes on the suggestion of my beta readers (hi jane <3). with oneshots, it's full on pants. I get a basic idea and just sit down and flow thoughts and see what happens.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

G-d. how can I even pick. Uhhh. Ann Takamaki probably. G-d I love her and I love writing her. She's so angry and loves so fully and like ALWAYS has a strong opinion about everything and I love that about her. I also adore her friendship with Ren SO much aaa they're so good for each other.

Haru...I love her so so much but she's got like five million masks that it's sometimes hard to hit on what she's actually feeling at any time. I'm confident about how she'll react, I'm just not always sure what she's feeling.

Akechi's also really fun to write but I'm not nearly as good as Jane and Jae at writing them djfgbjb.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

I'll share a few actually. All from the same oneshot, which is fully first-drafted but i have no idea how to properly contextualize it without getting into my five million unposted headcanons about a Final Fantasy mobile game.

***

***

***

***

Anyway it's fun to jam characters from different Final Fantasy games together cause sometimes I'm just like "yeah Y'shtola (XIV) would sleep with Kurasame (Type-0) to get over her angst towards Lightning (XIII) who is currently ghosting both her and her other lover, Prishe (XI)." Messy polycules of traumatized sapphics dating traumatized sapphics from other worlds. As you do.

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

Oh hey I can bust out a relatively new one for this. My friends know it, but I haven't posted it here yet.

[apertures-angel-archive]

5 and 7 for the meta asks ^.^ for either glados or the tallest

i'll do both ovo

5. if your f/o is from a series, were you into the source content from the start or did you come in later? if you came in later, what was the most recent release when you got into it?

for g.lados i knew about p.ortal way back when but i never played it, i didn't get a steam account until like 2013 or 2014 \ovo/ and i didnt get the games until 2015 iirc, but i didnt actually PLAY the games until 2021 lolllll. i did of course start with p.ortal 1!!

for the tallest uhhh i think i started watching z.im during its reruns in like... 2006??? god idk it's been SO long man and i watched it sporadically because i was like 8 years old and didnt know what tv schedules were. i genuinely do not remember if i watched it ever during its original run that was 2001 and i was a preschooler LOL. the movie got me back into it a little bit when that came out in 2019, and then funnily enough e.mperor x.izzle got me back into it again this year!! and now it's an actual hyperfixation <3

7. are there any specific scenes/chapters/moments of your f/o that you find yourself going back to revisit more often than any other?

for g.lados, uh... gosh uh. OH in p.ortal 1 i forget which chamber number but it's the first one where the game introduces momentum, she says a funny line that makes me smile and giggle every time :] and then there's also the ending cutscene for the co-op dlc ;v;

for the tallest it's the h.obo-13 episode for sure. they're really mean to a poor lower ranking i.rken but imo it's their best episode. b.ackseat d.rivers from b.eyond the s.tars and the 1st episode are also very very good rewatches for them (despite all the secondhand embarrassment i get during backseat drivers loll)

[jackienautism]

HI fe3h anon from earlier. i started playing at like 9 and stopped at 4. did not realize how early it was until i turned the game off because i was at a good stopping point lmao. anyway!

made it to chapter 4 of the first... idk what it's called? section? i chose the black eagles (it was a sort of tough decision, because . off the bat i REALLY liked both edelgard and claude, but i liked the eagles a lot more on average which was the deciding factor). having fun so far! i was expecting to not lovee the actual like. battle mechanics but nope i was totally sucked in. really good gameplay.

as for characters. well. like i said, off the bat i really liked edelgard and claude. honestly as of right now i don't think there's a single eagle i dislike those are all my besties. if i had to pick three (non edelgard, bc she is hands down my favorite so far) characters who were my favorite eagles... right now, probably dorothea, bernadetta, and maybe caspar? but it's genuinely so hard to pick, i like them all.

as for non-eagles, i haven't gotten the chance to know them quite as well yet, so there's more a list of characters i'm interested in learning more about? top of that list is probably ingrid, marianne and hilda. OH and of the like... non-students, i've barely met her but i loveee shamir's voice and design.

genuinely i barely know anything about fire emblem somehow so. i am excited to see how the story plays out!

HIII OH MAN A FULL 7 HOURS OF PLAYING HUH? I TOTALLY WENT THROUGH THE SAME THING WHEN I FIRST STARTED PLAYING. remember to take care of yourself and get some sleep though! but i totally understand the feeling of getting sucked in fdgjdnjg the game does such a great job of doing that! BUT THE OTHER PARTOF ME WANTS YOU TO KEEP GOOOOING... IM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED FOR YOU HEHE

YAAAAY SO HAPPY YOU CHOSE THE BLACK EAGLES KDFNGFD i will warn you rn though based on the writing of edie's route compared to everyone else's..... it's so obvious that teaming up w/ her was thrown in at the VERY last second. i won't say anything just yet but im sure you'll understand what i mean if you play the other routes. and who knows maybe you'll figure it out also just by playing hers? but anyway, no spoilers! but as a heads up edie's route is 4 chapters LESS than the three other stories :/ and there's no like... real resolution to her arc / story? SO much can be accomplished in 4 chapters and they jsut.... man idk, the stopping point was terrible. bc based on edelgard and motivations? her story wasn't yet done.

BUT ANYWAY. ENOUGH OF THAT. SO HAPPY YOU CHOSE THEM AS A FIRST ROUUUTE.... and claude is such a good second choice.. his def would've also been a great starting route. although it's pretty obvious how the blue lions was meant to be the "meat" of the game yk? you find out soooo much more abt *certain* characters and just. yeah. it's sad. but! edelgards route still holds a special place in my heart, regardless of the quality, and i hope it does for ypou too! also super glad to hear that the battling mechanics hooked you in! theyve improved the gameplay from previous games (esp w/ the inclusion of divine pulse. having that is sooo nice i will say) so im happy it works well for new players!!!

EDIE AND CLAUDE ARE SUCH GOOD CHOICES<3 AND THE BLACK EAGLES TOO<33 dorothea bernie and caspar are such good choices too btw.... glad you weren't annoyed by bernie at first bc my brother really was gkdfnjg CASPAR IS MY BOY.... IF YOU ENJOY THEM NOW YOU'RE TOOOOOTALLY GOING TO ENJOY THEM AS THE GAME PROGRESSES AND AS A EVERYONE GETS MORE DEPRESSED!

its not the same as playingthe route as the house those characters are in, but you'll get to learn more abt them through talking w/ them in th emonastery! i also def recommend like. recruiting the characters you wanna learn more about asap and going throuhg their supports w/ other characters if possible.... i also just HIGHLY recommend recruiting your non black eagles faves. bc uhhh things certainly happen later in the game. but yeah<3 those non eagles chocies are very good.... ingrid is. an interesting case. bc i understand why ppl hate her but i also went throuhg the supports that made ppl hate her and lik e? i understand why she thinks the way she does? and she actually becomes... self aware in her B support w/ him? but still. you;ll understand once you play the blue lions route im sure. but yeah i jus tcant help but have a soft spot for her idk. i just think shes neat and i love projecting onto her for certain things lol.... also lorenz is along the same lines as her in relation to claude and yet hes barely shat on? like HMMM I WONDER WHY :/ ANYWAY. MARIANNE IS SUCH A FAVE AND HILDA IS CERTAINLY FUN. THEIR DUO IS SO INTERESTING AND CUTE TO ME

AND SHAMIR MAN??????? I HAVENT TALKED ABT HER YET BUT SHE WAS OONE OF THE REASONS WHY I GOT THE GAME IN THE FIRS TPLCE KFGNDGF ASIDE FROM EDELGARD.... YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW SAD I WAS THAT I COULDNT MARRY HER..... also fun fact allegra clark voices both dorothea and shamir!!!!

OOOHHHOHOH IF YOU DONT KNOW MUCH ABT FIRE EMBLEM THEN THATS SO AWESOME. YOURE DEF IN FOR A TREAT IM SO EXCITED FOR YOUUUUU. try to avoid spoilers as best you can! the games have been out for a while so i doubt ppl are tagging them anymore... ill try to be conscious abt that when posting though! HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO HAVE FUUUUUN

[apex-academy]

Chapter 5 Trial: What You Are in the Dark (#31)

“...”

“Just because it wasn’t used on Kaichi doesn’t mean the vial’s unrelated. And based on what we’ve seen today, I can at least guess what the contents were.”

“Aaaaaaand?”

“To avoid circling through the same arguments all over again, I’ll start with this.”

“Aidan, you’ve been drugged.”

“I...”

“...Excuse me?”

“Is that why he was so difficult to wake this morning?”

“Stands to reason.”

“But he hasn’t been feeling super good for a whiiiiile now, right?”

“Umm-hummm...”

“But the vial was obviously used during the game demonstration if it got boxed up there. If it actually had an effect...”

“Well, I haven’t noticed anything wrong with me or Yuki.”

“But Tsunyasha...”

“...........”

“...”

“I doubt there’s anything around here potent enough to do that to someone in one small dose. She has perfectly good reason to be like this. No drugs required.”

“...”

“But, like, why would somebody drug Aid?”

“Er... Because of the Monofile?”

“Uhhh, the Monofile totally doesn’t say who found him, though? Like, he’s not even dead.”

“Not quite what I meant.”

“The Monofile doesn’t say who found the victim, either. But by default it’s supposed to. If the killer didn’t know it would get redacted this time...”

“...He or she would want to be one of the first three to see Mister Riseiin publicly, if we didn’t... all happen upon him at once.”

“And that’s supposed to tell us who did it...?”

“Well, Tsunyasha wasn’t even there to try and discover him!”

“That... doesn’t necessarily mean she hadn’t planned to, before...”

“..........”

“...”

He doesn’t quite stop shaking, but he manages to go on.

“But Kogamino and I were checking Doppler’s room at the time of the announcement, I’m certain.”

“So, in other words, I couldn’t have been the one to plan something like that.”

“Which would leave only... Miss Tsunyasha and Miss Kurokame as suspects.”

“Tsunyasha’s still not saying anything...”

“.................”

“D’you think she’s guilty?”

“Well, it’s not me... so...”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure, umm-humm...”

“Wait, you think it’s Yuks?”

“Well. What kind of drug would you use to make someone sleep longer?”

“I dunno what the pharmy-y words are, but they’re probably really long!”

“I believe a generic term will suffice for her purposes. ‘Sleeping aids,’ perhaps.”

“But I thought no one could have secured any medications?”

“Not from anywhere we all could access.”

“But if the killer brought some with them on move-in day, it would have been in their dorm room this whole time.”

“Then, which of those two would have brought sleep aids...”

Every gaze in the room turns to Yuki with no further explanation.

“...”

“Oh, but... Those don’t work on me, anyway... So I wouldn’t have brought any.”

“But if you, like, tried them ever, you coulda had some mixed in with your stuff, right? And just brought them on accident?” 

“ ‘Cuz I’ve already found a lotta junk in my room that I totally don’t remember packing.”

That could be for several reasons. Still...

“But why couldn’t Tsunyasha have any...?”

“We know she’s gone wandering around at night... I don’t think it’s impossible... that she has insomnia.”

“..................”

“And we do know she didn’t fall asleep after Iggy punched her and stuff, since she didn’t get punished, right?”

“How d’we know that?”

“Ah, the school rules...”

I’d forgotten, but... falling asleep outside of the dorms is what Kaichi got his leg crushed for, right?

“Though all things considered, I think she had more reason than usual to stay awake...”

“...in her state last night.”

“.....................”

“So, logically...”

“We can make assumptions as we like, but there’s no genuine proof of either suspect possessing those drugs.”

“I guess.”

“Yo, Tsuntsun? You wanna say, like, anything ever?”

“................”

“So it’s...”

“...my word versus... nothing? Basically...”

“It seems to be.”

“Dude, I can’t vote for anybody like this??”

“Haha, but we’ll have to eventually! If it all kinda comes down to Yuki’s word in the end...”

“...I guess we just have to trust her, huh!”

“Thank you...”

“I don’t believe it’s nearly so simple.”

“Kay, then what do we do?”

“....”

I barely keep myself from screaming “WAKE UP.” Which I doubt would actually work.

It’s fine. I'm capable of thought without his help.

“Okay. Yuki. If all we have is your testimony, then let’s at least get it all in one place.”

“Explain to us what you did last night and why Tsunyasha must be the culprit.”

“Hummmm...?”

“Okay...”

“..............”

All right. Let’s see if there’s some kind of slip-up I can use.

Feels like that’s about all I have left at this point. Am I even on the right track? 

Time to find out.

[NEXT]

[warmau]

☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au jisung another late birthday au for the february neos ;__; find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun | yukhei | doyoung | jaehyun | jungwoo | ten

a sour taste makes its way down jisung's throat

he pulls the candy out of his mouth and scrunches his face up

"did this shit expire?"

renjun's lips thin, "since when have you started cursing?"

chenle harks on the grass beside the other two

"ever since he got dumped."

jisung doesn't disagree.

out of everyone to pick up on his change of habits, it'd be his best friend.

he doesn't like to admit it, but the breakup that launched the beginning of his summer has made him feel different

bitter, angry, empty

he's sure if he told someone older like his parents or a professor they'd explain that it's normal.

it's part of growing up to have to process these horrible emotions and learn to feel them less extremely.

that somehow doesn't comfort jisung at all, why is it his fault that being young makes everything feel more vivid? the shatter of the heart in his chest and all the little pieces wedged up in his veins hurt so bad.

"jisung, you'll find someone better."

renjun ties his shoelaces and gets up, he's still chewing on the taffy they brought from the corner store.

jisung follows and he's never been so awkward about his budding height more than he is now

"i doubt that, i don't think i could find anyone better than my first love."

chenle gives a depressed sounding laugh and renjun starts a spiel about how he's being dramatic and silly

the sounds gloss over in jisung's ears, he tosses the candy he'd spit out and the wrapper over his shoulder

"you shouldn't litter."

three sets of eyes turn to the voice, you stand there with your gym bag over your shoulder on a path a little way down from the grassy hill the boys are on

you look at jisung with an unwavering gaze that drops to where he assumes the candy wrapper landed

you bend down and pick it up, shake your head and walk away

jisung follows your figure through the park as renjun and chenle mutter about how you're kind of right but kind of rude

"do you know them?"

jisung asks and renjun taps the bottom of his chin

"i think ive seen them at the tennis courts."

jisung doesn't know what it is about you.

he mistakenly thinks it is dislike that breeds curiosity when he shows up at the public tennis court the next day

you're out on the court with a group of middle schoolers, showing them the right way to swing a racket

jisung leans against the shade of a tree as you go through each step slowly and then have the kids copy you one by one

when you make a sudden movement to turn in the direction he's standing, he slinks behind the trunk

this is so fucking weird, im being a creep

he doesn't have anything to do for the rest of the day, or the rest of the summer, but still he cringes at himself

i should find something better than staring at a goddamn stranger. chenle was right, im cursing way too much.

so he leaves and he doesn't come back

but he visits the park for the next week with the slight hope that your path will cross with him on accident

not that he entertains that as actual hope - just that curiosity that nips at his heel like a cat asking to be feed

on day seven it happens

jisung is staring up at the expanse of the warm blue sky and you're walking from the direction of the tennis courts, you pause to check your phone and jisung springs to his feet

he's in front of you before he really knows what to even say

you don't look as freaked out as he was scared you might, you actually just blink and then point your finger at him

looks like they've got bad habits just like me

"you're the boy who litters!"

"i don't usually litter, i was just in a bad mood that day."

"doesn't excuse throwing your garbage around."

"is that why you remembered me?"

you slip your phone into the pocket of your duffel bag and shake your head

"no, there's another reason."

jisung itches to ask why but he realizes now that this conversation is going exponentially better than it could have

you could have said something like get the hell away from me....or who are you?

"do you want to walk with me for a little bit?"

fuck, i should have just asked why - asking them to walk is weirder

"why not."

you and jisung do loops around the park - it's pretty big so by the time you're on the third loop the night lamps are coming on and the sun is slowly disappearing

you two have talked about everything and nothing at the same time

jisung asks you if you're going to be at the park tomorrow

"i teach a summer tennis course for the park three times a week, but tomorrow is my off day."

"have any plans?"

he puts his hands in his pockets because they're sweating - i should have asked if they wanted me to carry their bag while we were walking. god did getting broken up with make me so stupid too?

"are you asking me out?"

jisungs palms stick to the fabric of his pants

"i got broken up with before summer started."

he blurts out before he can take it back, you poke your tongue into your cheek

"me too."

the genuine surprise makes jisung look younger than he is and you cross your hands over your chest as if you regret sharing the information

"sorry, i have to go."

you edge around him and jisung has one million thoughts run through his brain, how he should apologize or ask for your number or suggest something that could heal you both in the snap of this one summer minute

but instead he watches you walk ahead for a whole two minutes before you turn on your heel and uncross your arms

"can you meet me here at noon?"

"tomorrow?"

jisung feels the sweat on the nape of his neck now too, matching the moistness on his palms

"no, in twenty years. yes - tomorrow."

he nods and you don't give him anything else to work with as you disappear and jisung catches the last little slither of sunlight wave goodbye with you

"are you rebounding already?"

chenle's voice comes through the headphones as jisung clicks on a zombie with his mouse and shoots it

"it's not a rebound - we both got dumped so i thought we could like...FUCK! i died dude."

chenle groans

"maybe they can help you fix this cursing problem, but uhhh it totally sounds like a rebound to me."

jisung thinks about that as he waits for you at the park

rebounding has actually never even occurred to him as a possibility.

then again falling head over heels and getting tossed aside by the person he thought was his soulmate also never occurred to him as a possibility either - especially not before he's even managed to graduate university

but using someone to feel better about himself - that just isn't him.

"oh you actually came?"

he stops staring at the grass and meets the half smile you're wearing. he matches it with a shy one of his own.

you take jisung's hand easily - as if you weren't strangers a week ago - and tug him toward the park gates

"where-"

you look over your shoulder

"we have to eat ice-cream on a date."

jisung and you have the same taste, getting the same flavor of ice cream with a hard no to sprinkles. you tell jisung about this kid you teach privately for tennis and how he's a little rich brat but his parents always tip you nicely. jisung tells you that his best friend is chenle and they met when he nearly broke an elbow on the first day of middle school.

jisung pays for your bus ticket into the busier part of the city, you beat him at a couple of arcade games, and then he absolutely crushes you at mini-basketball. you pile all your tickets together and jisung tells you to pick the prize you want.

he watches you as you scan the cheap toys and then turn to your left where a younger girl is trying to see if she has enough for a sad looking stuffed panda

you dump the tickets into her hand and grin when her whole face lights up, jisung walks out behind you and goes

"you're actually nice aren't you?"

"oh - you didn't think i was nice when we first met?"

"i-"

jisung stutters when you look directly at him

"i just mean you- it was nice what you did in the arcade."

"why did your ex break up with you?"

jisung's world sort of stops for a moment. you still haven't looked away and he gets lightheaded by the sudden question.

"i don't know."

you nod, as if the answer is what you expected, and you take his hand again and make way toward the bus

he curls his larger fingers around yours and is silently thankful you don't ask for any more details

actually you both don't say anything the ride back, even though you rest your head on his shoulder the entire time

your hands are still clasped together and jisung finds himself not wanting to let go even when you stop in front of the park again

"thanks for the date."

you unwind your fingers first and jisung swallows

"do you want to go on another one?"

you shake your head

"sorry, i don't think i can do this more than once."

genuine shock sets in on jisung's face

"w-what do you mean?"

"i know being heartbroken makes you lonely, it makes me lonely too, but i can't just be someone's summer fling and get abandoned again. plus jisung -"

you tilt your head with a small laugh

"i think you're really cute and if we do this again i will start liking you seriously."

what the fuck do i say?

jisung thinks the summer heat in the air constricts around him - especially when he can't open his mouth to answer and you give a solemn wave as you turn and start to disappear down the sidewalk

fuck fuck fuck fuck

the curses start to hurt his brain and jisung breaks into a sprint to catch you before you make it to the end of the block

slipping his hand back into yours and spinning you to face him

"im not going to abandon you. and i - i already like you so please let me take you on another date."

the words fall out like letters into alphabet soup and you stare wide-eyed at him for about a second before you lean in and kiss him

and jisung forgets the entire language he's spoken since he was a child, curses and vulgarity gone with it

the second date comes and goes, then the third, and then the fourth, fifth, and sixth.

jisung watches you give tennis lessons and you even tug him onto the court one day to help with picking up the scattered balls off the court

the younger kids you teach really adore him, tall and smiley, they cling to him more than they do to you

and there really isn't any way you can stop them because soon enough you feel that urgency to be near him always too

it might be because jisung is so different from your ex, and you are so different from his

the reality is that when you finally tell each other what happened before your respective summers started

it turns out - it's almost exactly the same

jisung looks up at you as you lay across him in the tall grass of an empty corner of the parks sprawling fields, your tennis equipment abandoned and his shoes sitting beside yours in a lazy heap

"they just told me one day i wasn't enough."

you bury your face in his chest and sigh

"maybe im not, maybe something about me is still missing."

the tenor of his voice is sad and you put both hands on the grass to lift yourself up above him, you stare down into the prettiest eyes you've ever seen on a boy in your life

"shuttup park jisung. nothing is missing from you. you're enough."

he gives you a goofy smile and you want so badly to smile back and kiss him but you take the moment seriously and add

"remember when you asked me if i only remembered you because i caught you littering like weeks ago?"

the furrow of his eyebrow is enough of an answer

"i said there was another reason."

he sits up and you fall gently back against his knees and lap, jisung opens his mouth as if to ask what it was but you put your hands on both his cheeks before he can

"that reason was because i could see all of you - people tend to be shrouded in something, but it was all on your face the moment you made eye contact with me. jisung - you're the farthest person i know from being incomplete. you're you and no one else."

the weight of your words comes crashing down on you a second later and you get up off of jisung in a fit of embarrassment

even though you meant what you said it felt like something of a wedding vow than something you say someone you've been dating for only a month

but jisung just breaks into a bigger smile - he pulls you back down into a hug that gets you both covered in grass stains

"im so happy"

you smell the fabric softener on his t-shirt and suddenly wish you could slip it off of him and put it on yourself

his hands tighten around you

"i always thought the other reason was because i was ugly or something."

you scrunch up your nose and tell him to be quiet, but jisung just laughs and buries his nose in your hair

the rest of the summer is smooth and the happiest one you've had so far - and jisung, who had thought it would be hell, agrees

renjun points out that he hasn't heard jisung even utter the word 'damn' since he started dating you

and chenle cuts in that it's true - now whenever they game jisung just groans into the mic (or abandoned the game completely to fool around you with - as it is in chenle's imagination)

you notice it too, and you notice how everyday jisung grows further from the heartbreak that he had festered on for so long

and just becomes more open with you

on your last day at your summer job and what feels like the last day of summer in general, jisung picks you up with balloons

you both hand them out to the kids you worked with and keep one shaped like a big red heart tied around your wrist as you two walk through the dimming evening of the park

fall is coming, your shoulders shake and jisung pulls you closer into him, and when he stops suddenly

you see that you're in the place where you first met - when jisung had let that candy wrapper tumble down a grassy hill and you had picked it up with disdain

"is untying the balloon and letting it float off considered littering?"

he asks and you think for a second

"probably, it'll get stuck in a tree somewhere and we don't want that."

he looks down and leans in to kiss you gently, letting your lower lip sit between his teeth for a moment before he pulls away

"can we do it anyway to make the moment special?"

you look at him, eyes clear as day, and answer

"every moment is special with you."

jisung manages to get ten of those red balloons through the door of your shared apartment on your tenth anniversary

you fret about how balloons are bad for the environment, but still launch yourself at him in a big hug when he gets them all settled into your living room

he catches you, laughing as you both muse that you can't believe it has been ten years since you met

"and i haven't cursed once since then - can you believe it?"

you roll your eyes and say yeah sure, like he didn't curse when he stubbed his toe on your bed this morning

he pouts his lip and asks, "play along ok - just say i haven't cursed once."

"you haven't cursed once in the ten years we have been dating."

something twinkles in jisung's eye and you bite back your lip

"exactly - so is it ok if i curse this one time and say-"

he fishes something out of his pocket that looks like a small box, you think your breath catches in your throat

"i fuc-freaking love you - will you marry me?"

[bp-best-froggo]

Arknights blorbos!

YES, alright, most of these are probably not going to be surprising, but anyway:

blorbo: Texas

This lupo has moved into my head and is living there rent free ever since. There's just so much about her that I find so intruiging. We have no real clue what had happened to the Texas' family. Siracusa is largely unexplored territory. How does she even relate to Lappland? If she's from Siracusa, why does her file state Columbia as her origin? I dunno man but I wanna know! I need to know!!!

There's this ominous phrase in her file: "When the past does catch up to her, she will face it was composure--unless it disrupts her present, then we'll witness the genuine rage inside her." And I could talk at length about this line alone, but I'm gonna stop myself short here, because this post won't end otherwise.

scrunkly: Blue Poison

The Frog. The Queen. The precious one. Her smile warms my heart. Her presence is comforting like the blankets she wraps around my shoulders. Her sweetness is joyous like the cakes she bakes. I would offer her all the hugs she could ever wish for. And I would hold her hand, until she found the confidence to move on her own.

Best froggo. 12/10, would poison again. Also best sniper in the game.

scrimblo bimblo: Absinthe

I have a habit of adopting traumatized children as daughters, and like, Absinthe has seen some shit - which is, to be fair, something you could say for every Ursus student. Absinthe is special to me, because I feel like there's much of a story to tell, aside from what we've seen in Children of Ursus (her chapter in the event felt more like an introduction to her character).

She has been forced to grow up in a span of only a few days, had to quite literally pick up her dead father's weapon and chose to also inherit his belief in justice, which she struggles with quite a lot. Justice is a concept that's pretty interesting to me and one that also fits Arknights themes very well.

Despite all that I feel like she gets barely discussed, despite all the potential this would have in relation to other operators (W, for example). Funnily enough she's also my most used Caster. I love the sound her weapon makes when being fired.

glup shitto: Leizi

She's just pure comedy. Like imagine a supreme court judge joining a para-military cancer relief foundation for shits and giggles. Imagine the entire HR staff completely stressed out and panicing, because they know that she could quite literally make Rhodes Island an enemy of Yen by the wave of a hand - and the Doctor just let her in, no questions asked. Meanwhile, said court judge gets into petty arguments with engineers and technicians because she throws off their radars and sensors just by being physically close to them. Magnets keep sticking to her.

Technically - not a side character, she's an operator and all. But I'm not even sure she got mentioned in any parts of the story up until this point. So I say that counts until I am proven wrong because I probably forgot about some scene in chapter 3 or something

poor little meow meow: Robin

Uhhh, not sure if that counts. I don't think she's really controversial or anything, she's just kind of messed up for the lengths she goes to earn money. I mean, she was kind-of a bad guy in Mansfield Break, even almost betraying Tony the Tiger for her own gains. She has reasons for doing so of course, but like you gotta be pretty desperate to take on five part-time jobs and also do contract murders on the side (I don't know if she has five part-time jobs, but she sure looks like she does).

If anything she looks tired as hell and desperately needs sleep. Poor little racoon.

horse plinko: Whislash

- is a horse - is a silly pony - belongs either into the plinko or into horny jail = horse plinko

eeby deeby: Surtr

She would be comfy there.

refuses to elaborate further

leaves

[buckys-black-dress]

✄ chapter two: keep it cool like iced tea

a/n: here's chapter two! obvi this is just building the plot and storyline, but we're seeing the beginnings of the magic! anyways, let me shut up so u can read. ok bye!

wc: 2k

[fratboy!bucky barnes x fem!reader]

series masterlist

-

To say you sucked at pong was a vast understatement.

And although you really didn't want to make a fool of yourself in front of this very nice, very tall, very attractive guy, you can't help but feel like an idiot when you sink your first shot into a cup halfway through the game.

You're definitely on your way drunk with the amount of shots Natasha and Sam have scored on you, plus all the ones you've missed.

When Natasha told you to let loose tonight, you're not so sure this is what she meant, though. You see her laughing and giving you eyes from across the table, while your face is bright red. You brush off her looks with a roll of your eyes, darting them back to Bucky.

Bucky.

Bucky with the incredibly nice hands and arms, who seems to be making the shots for the both of you. Bucky who's been occasionally slinging an arm over your shoulders, paying close attention to you. Bucky who's been asking you questions about yourself, that you've returned back, and received witty responses to.

"So, where 're ya from, Y/N?" He asks in a slurred voice, but you can tell he's not exactly drunk yet.

"I'm from New York. You?" You ask, throwing back another drink from a shot that Nat made into your cup.

"No shit! I'm from Brooklyn!" He smiles, a big, bright smile that tugs at your heartstrings for some reason.

"I'm Manhattan born and raised, mister." You return his blinding smile.

"Small world, huh?" He laughs, once again wrapping his arm around you. "Can't believe we've never ran into each other before."

"Well, New York City's quite large, Bucky." You giggle, and he laughs back. As you feel your face warm up, he looks down at you with something akin to adoration in his eyes. Bucky towers over you, deciding that the pong game was over between the four of you.

He walks back to the kitchen, assuming that you'd follow him.

But he turns around to ask you in you'd like something to drink, and you're not there.

You're still chatting with Natasha and Sam, and it takes him a second to realized you wouldn't just follow after him. You didn't really give him the impression of being that type of girl.

Which is what intrigued him more about you. You weren't worshipping the ground he walked on, you didn't initiate conversation too much, and you didn't drool over him like every other girl he's met.

He suddenly feels a surge of awkwardness. He sees you talking animatedly with Sam and Natasha, and now Steve has joined in the conversation. You were talking completely comfortably with them, much more comfortably than you were with him.

It makes him wonder what he'll have to do to get you to get like that with him.

What he'll have to do to make you trust him.

"Hey, Y/N, I was gonna head to the kitchen and grab a drink. Wanna join?" He questions, seeing his friends giving him cocked eyebrows in confusion.

Bucky could usually get any girl he wanted. Especially at a party like this one. Why was he so hell-bent on spending time with you?

"O-Oh! Sure, I'll join you." You excuse yourself from the group, and Bucky slings his arm through your waist to guide you through the crowd. You feel you stomach flip in a way you've never felt before, and feel your cheeks redden.

"So, what can I get you?" Bucky practically yells over the music, trying to meet your eyes. You avert them quickly, and simply tell him a vodka lemonade.

He hands it to you with a strange look in his eyes, and you give him a kind smile while taking your first sip.

"God, you trying to get me wasted here?" You gag with a laugh, looking into your cup and back to Bucky.

"Sorry, doll, might'a gone a bit heavy on the vodka. You still good to drink it?" He queries with genuine concern in his eyes.

And although you already well on your way to drunk, past tipsy, you give fervent nod, and give it another sip.

It was good.

-

As the night had progressed further, you had two more of Bucky's vodka lemonades.

And now, you were drunk.

You also didn't know where Natasha was, but she was probably off somewhere with Sam, so you weren't worried for her safety.

Bucky was still by your side throughout the whole night, offering to dance, and even just sit and talk.

Which is what you were doing right now. In the middle of the crowd, you were practically on top of Bucky while you two talked about anything from academics to your daily lives.

"So, in your major, what would you say was the dumbest thing someone's asked?" He laughs, and he's clearly also past the line of tipsy and has fallen into drunk, right with you.

"Uhhh... oh! One time, this guy-"

"Doll, I can't really hear ya." Bucky laughs

"Oh, sorry," You blush, trying to speak louder, but it still wasn't working.

"Do you- would you be okay with just goin' up to my room? Don't think we'll get much of anythin' done down here." He gives you a look that says 'I'm not gonna hurt you, unless you want me to.'

It sends a shiver down your spine, and you stand up, waiting for him to guide you up the stairs.

You knew you weren't going to have sex with him. You had only met him four hours ago, and no matter how many girls he could pull in that time, you were not interested in being one of them.

"Just so you know now, I'm not planning on sleeping with you." You burst out while you're halfway up the stairs, your eyes going wide at your own words.

"Huh," Bucky chuckles, "I know I have a reputation that precedes me, but I didn't think this is where that was going. Just wanted to continue to conversation." He smiles down at you, finally opening his door.

Of course, Bucky was lying right through his teeth. Of course he wanted to sleep with you. You were nice, smart, had a hell of a body, and had kept his attention the longest out of any girl he's ever met. But when it comes down to it, he was a boy.

And boys usually only thought with one organ; their dicks.

As the lamp flicks on, a small glow filters over the room, giving it a cozy feel. You, on the other hand, felt nothing but cozy.

"You can sit anywhere. Wanna watch somethin'?" He asks, tossing you the remote while you stood, frozen at the doorway.

"I- uh, sure?" You ask, more than you tell him, but sit down on his bed. You were careful to not flash him while you adjusted yourself, not sure of what to do.

The last thing you needed tonight was the most notorious playboy on campus seeing your black lace thong right now.

"Do you wanna change into somethin' more comfortable, angel?" Again, your stomach has butterflies trying to escape at his sweet words. But you knew better than to think too much into it. he probably said these names to every girl who's come into this very bed.

Ew, you think to yourself, this bed must have STDs sewn in the sheets by now.

"I- sure? If you have anything that fits, I guess." You grumble.

"Sure, I've got a t-shirt and boxers, if you want? Don't have much else, honestly." He laughs lightly, handing you the items and points to the bathroom in the corner of his room.

As you're standing in the middle of Bucky Barnes' jack and jill bathroom, you take a moment and think to yourself.

How did I get here?

Will he ask me to sleep here?

Does he still expect anything from me?

I hope not.

I'm really tired.

Ugh. Whatever. I'm too tired to think this much right now.

You pull of your dress that you couldn't stand to be in anymore, and put on the clothes Bucky had provided you with.

They were quite large on you, considering the guy was about the size of bigfoot. But you couldn't find it in yourself to complain about it right now.

You exit the bathroom, setting the dress down on the floor where you had kicked off your heels, and sit back down next to Bucky on his bed.

You feel your skin slide under the blanket that was thrown over him, and focus on the TV screen.

"So, what're we watching?" You query, trying to figure out what was playing.

Little did you know, Bucky was still thinking about the way you had looked when you walked out of the bathroom. It did something to him, seeing you in his clothes like that, for some reason.

The way you were practically swimming in them, and the way you knuckled at your eyes tiredly that made him want to hold you to his chest while you both fell asleep.

He was trying to shake the thoughts from his head, wondering what the hell had gotten into him with these thoughts.

Since when did he, Bucky Barnes, think about a girl like this? It was usually much dirtier and nastier in his head, but you were doing something to him.

"Bucky? Everything alright up there?" You giggle, knocking on his skull lightly.

"I- yeah, all good, doll." He shakes his thoughts away, focusing back on you. "I put on whatever was playing, didn't switch it because I didn't know what you liked." Bucky explains.

"Hm, well this seems good. We can just keep this on?" You suggest, realizing that Home Alone 2 was playing on his TV. "I love this movie. This kid's got some real class." You chuckle, now fully watching the movie.

"He's a genius, I'll give 'im that much." Bucky laughs, also fixing his gaze on the movie.

In the hour that passed, you two have made small talk about the movie here and there, and every time, Bucky's gaze became transfixed on you. With the glow of the TV illuminating your face, with the way you smiled and threw your head back when you laughed, he couldn't help it.

Finally, the movie had come to a close, and Bucky could tell you were fighting sleep. You were practically asleep sitting up against his headboard.

"You wanna spend the night here, doll?" He wonders out loud, looking over to you.

You shoot him a look, a playful glare with a hint of a smile.

"I mean, it's a bit late for me to head back to my dorm. But no funny business, mister." You point a finger at him, and Bucky holds his hands up in the air.

"No funny business, I promise." He holds out his pinky to you, to which you curl yours around, and latch on.

Once the lamp next to his side of the bed is turned off, you slide further down in his bed, trying to find a comfortable position. After a few minutes of adjusting, you snuggle your head into the pillows that smell like laundry detergent and his cologne.

"Goodnight, Bucky," you say out loud into the darkness while you both face each other.

"G'night doll. See ya in the morning." Bucky's voice is a low baritone, clearly about to succumb to the sleep he was fighting.

"See ya in the morning." You reply, finally letting your eyes fall shut.

That night, you dream of Bucky Barnes and his cologne.

And across from you, Bucky Barnes dreams of a world where this is normal. A world where you sleep next to him every night, and you wake him up every morning with a kiss.

Man, I'm totally fucked, is the last thought he has before falling into a sleep surrounded by you.

[tsumusamu]

nice receive [miya atsumu x fem!reader]

genre: fluff and (once again, a sad attempt at) humor

word count: 3.8k

summary: eight months into your relationship, atsumu takes you to meet his family. things don't go as planned, but of course, everything ends up alright in the end anyway. alternatively, miya atsumu adores you and his family thinks it's easy to see why.

warnings: uhhh implied sexual content at the end but it is like barely there ok

commission for @ muppetz (it wont let me tag for some reason ugh) thank you so much for commissioning me!

a/n: this ended up being way longer than the word count requested but that’s no one’s fault but my own because i dont know when to shut the FUCK up anyways i hope this one shot is enjoyable lol

content under the cut!

You literally never thought that you would ever end up in this situation.

"C'mon babe, why the long face? Ya nervous or somethin'?"

"No." You purse your lips, huffily averting your gaze from your boyfriend's smirking face.

"Ya don't needa be like that." Atsumu drapes an arm across your shoulder, pecking your forehead as a sort of reassurance. "No one could ever hate this cute face, after all." He accentuates his words by squishing your cheeks, drawing out a yelp of protest from you.

"If you keep talking like this, you're gonna jinx it, you know." Your words come out softer and more hesitant than intended, and you startled even yourself at how utterly anxious you sound.

"Yer gonna be fine. Trust me, I wouldn’t take just any random girl to meet my folks, and they’re well aware of that." Atsumu ruffles your hair.

"I just... I hope they're not..." You pause for a moment, trying to find the right word. "...Disappointed?" You grimace when your boyfriend suddenly throws his head back in such voracious laughter, that you swear you saw a few hysterical tears.

"Are ya jokin'?" he all but wheezes. "Yer the libero for the national volleyball team, for God's sake. If anythin', I'd be the disappointment here."

"'Tsumu — " you start, but he interrupts you by pulling you in for a comforting hug.

"Don't worry yer pretty head anymore, got it?" he murmurs into your ear. "Yer wonderful, and I couldn't be luckier to have ya. My parents are gonna love ya. Honest."

A small smile tugs at your lips as you reach around his back to hug him back. "I hope so."

A year ago, if someone had told you that you would end up having Miya Atsumu introduce you to his family as his girlfriend, you would've laughed until your ass fell off and your stomach ached like no tomorrow.

You had been absolutely overjoyed when you were chosen for the women's national volleyball team, and you were so eager to start playing with your new teammates that you had decided to attend the national team's training camp without hesitation despite your recent knee injury at the time. However, you completely overlooked the fact that you would be working with the men's team as well, which would've been completely fine... if not for Miya Atsumu.

When you first met Atsumu, he was the cocky, annoying little shit of a setter for the Japanese men's national volleyball team, someone who you were stuck training with for the next two weeks.

You still remember the first words he ever spoke to you.

"The hell are ya doin' there, lil libero? If yer not gonna be able to save the easiest ones, then ya might as well sub out."

You also remember the first thought you had about him.

'Prick.'

And the first words you spoke to him.

"Can't you look at this — " You had gestured angrily to the knee brace supporting you. "And take a fucking hint, or what?"

He had sent some unapologetic, biting words right back at you and that marked the beginning of the time you have had the utmost pleasure of knowing Miya Atsumu. The two of you had bickered rather relentlessly (not too unlike literal children, despite the both of you being well into your twenties) throughout the rest of the camp, and by the end, for some unknown reason through some unknown method, he ended up with your number.

He started texting you constantly, and as much as you tried to convince your foolish self that he was just a nuisance, you found yourself responding to his messages like an idiot anyway. Throughout the next few months, you learned that Atsumu was far more than just his overly confident demeanor; he's genuinely kind-hearted, down-to-earth, and actually kinda hilarious. And eventually — neither of you quite knew how — the two of you were staring across a table at each other in a fancy restaurant as if daring the other to blink and lose an unspoken game, on a first date that neither of you thought would go as well as it did.

A little over eight months into your happy and committed relationship, Atsumu suggested that the two of you go to his hometown in Hyogo for a weekend to visit his family. You had immediately agreed with his idea, excited to meet his parents and twin brother in person, but now that he's leading you out of your shared hotel room to go do just that, your stomach's knotting uncomfortably.

Atsumu's been nothing but supportive and comforting ever since you started showing that you're nervous to meet his family. He was always happy to provide a never-ending flow of cheesy words and warm hugs, but you're genuinely afraid of embarrassing yourself. You want to impress his family and not have them see you as undeserving of their son, who you truly care for from the bottom of your heart. Atsumu is your first long-term boyfriend, and you would jump off your roof if you managed to mess anything up during the visit to his folks.

The taxi ride to Atsumu's childhood home doesn't do much to soothe your nerves either, with you fiddling with your fingers the entire way through while Atsumu makes small talk with the driver. As the cab pulls up to the address that your boyfriend had provided earlier, you instinctively clench your fists so hard that you think you might bleed.

A look of alarm crosses Atsumu's face as he notices that you're still just as anxious as you were when you left the hotel earlier. He thought that the ride to his parents' house would give you some time to cool down, but that had clearly not been the case. His eyebrows furrow in concern as he reaches over to grab one of your hands in his, giving you a comforting squeeze.

"Just breathe, darlin'." He runs his thumb over the shallow nail marks embedded in your skin. "If it means anything to ya, my mom's a huge fan of yers. For real. I didn't tell ya this before, but she's especially excited to meet ya. Keeps yappin' to me askin' how I pulled ya." You flush.

"R-Really?" you stammer, wide-eyed.

"Really. Who wouldn't be a fan yers?" Atsumu grins, pecking your nose. "See, ya got nothin' to be worried about. Just chill out and be yerself, 'kay?" You nod, some of the tension releasing from your shoulders as Atsumu leads you out of the cab, hand still clutching yours.

You're feeling a little better now, though your thoughts are still running through your head at the pace of a mile a minute as you watch Atsumu pay the taxi driver and thank him for the ride. Atsumu's mother is my fan? Your ears start to heat up. I hope I can somehow live up to her expectations of me…

“Ma! We’re here!” Atsumu shouts at the top of lungs approximately one second after simultaneously ringing the doorbell and obnoxiously pounding on the door.

“Comin’, comin’, ya brat!” A feminine, yet strong voice hollers in return. You freeze on the spot, your mind going blank once again. It’s happening. It’s finally happening.

The door aggressively swings open, revealing a middle-aged woman wearing a pink apron and carrying a wooden spatula in her hand. Her dark hair is pulled into a bun away from her face and her eyes, the same chocolate brown as Atsumu’s, are gleaming with annoyance. She briefly glares at Atsumu for his rowdy entrance before her gaze catches onto you, and her entire face lights up with excitement.

“(L/N) (Y/N)! It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“M-Mrs. Miya,” you stammer out, trying your best to smile but you’re sure it looked more like a wince. “It’s good to m-meet you t-too.”

"Aw, hey now. What happened to my feisty girl? It's not like ya to be so lame.” Atsumu lays his forearm on your head, effectively using you as an armrest. You jerk away, scowling.

“Shut the hell up, asshat,” you snap without thinking. About half a second later, regret slams into your body like a truck. Oh, shit. I just called my boyfriend an asshat in front of his mother. You were about to run off into the streets in utter embarrassment if not for Mrs. Miya letting out a hearty laugh way too similar to her son’s and linking arms with you.

“No need to look so scared, dear. I don’t bite. And it’s good to see that yer willin’ to put this brat in his place.”

“Ma!” Atsumu whines, pouting petulantly.

“Yer really losin’ out with him though, y’know,” Mrs. Miya whispers to you as she leads you into the house by your arm. “I’ve got another son; Atsumu’s twin. Osamu’s quite well-behaved. If yer just likin’ the looks, he would be the better option.” You can tell she’s joking by the merry twinkle in her eyes, but instead of humoring her you end up shaking your head with a quiet chuckle.

“I think Atsumu’s perfectly good for me.” The two of you pause to watch Atsumu practically sprint into the kitchen, and a few moments later there’s an agitated yell as proof that he was on his way to annoy his brother. You smile. “He makes me really happy, Mrs. Miya. You raised him well.”

“Aren’t ya just the sweetest thing?” Mrs. Miya coos at you, pinching your left cheek. “And so pretty too. I swear ya could probably clobber my brat at volleyball as well. You and yer teammate… ah, Miss Amanai? The two of you always caught my eye while I watched yer matches. Make sure ya let her know.”

You blush a little and thank her, making a mental note to tell Kanoka that. She’d probably find it extremely amusing, especially since she was the one who had given Atsumu your number in the first place (which, as you had found out months later, was because he had practically groveled at her feet multiple times. Dumbass.)

“Come meet my husband, (Y/N).” Mrs. Miya leads you into the living room, where an older, balding man with rimmed glasses is quietly flipping through a book. He gives a start upon hearing your entrance, clearing his throat and sitting up straight.

“Ah, hello!” Mr. Miya greets you. “I’ve heard a lot about you! From both Atsumu and the missus.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Miya.” You nod once in a respectful manner.

“It’s about time that he settled down with a nice girl. Make sure ya keep him in line though, got it, missy?”

“Of course I w — “ you start, but Mrs. Miya is already dragging you towards the kitchen. You smile apologetically at Mr. Miya, and he just laughs and waves.

“Osamu’s makin’ dinner right now. He is such a hardworkin’ and dedicated boy. Both of them are, really,” she rambles. “But Osamu sure can cook a mean meal. He and his twin always used to fight over who’s the better cook. But I betcha Atsumu hasn’t touched the stove since he left for university years ago.”

You debate telling her that Atsumu had made quite a decent meal for the two of you just last week to celebrate your eight-month anniversary (which you hadn’t even known he remembered), but before you can formulate the right words in your head you’re suddenly shoved in the path of an unfamiliar man. Well, not really unfamiliar. He has the same face as the boyfriend who you see every day, after all.

Miya Osamu is (as expected) the literal carbon copy of Atsumu; same strong eyebrows, same hooded eyes, same angular jawline. The only thing that easily sets them apart is his black, ruffled mess of hair in stark contrast with your boyfriend’s bleached blonde.

Mrs. Miya pulls Atsumu away from the two of you, demanding that he help her with some mundane task, leaving you and Osamu by yourselves in the kitchen.

An easy smile graces his lips as he sticks out his hand. “Hey, I’m Osamu. Honored to finally meet the famous (L/N) (Y/N).” You smile back, gripping his hand firmly and shaking.

“And I’m honored to meet the famous ‘Samu.” At your words, Osamu bursts out laughing.

“Man, I don’t really let a lot of people call me that, y’know? But if yer gonna be part of the family, you could be an exception.”

“F-Family?” You pause, your sudden confidence dissipating as fast as it had come.

“Naw, no pressure. Just sayin’.” Osamu casually continues with his task of shaping onigiri. “I can tell he really likes ya.” You raise your eyebrows in curiosity without entirely meaning to. “I mean, we’re twins, it’s like a sixth sense. And also he never shuts up about ya when we text or call.”

“I hope you’re hearing all good things?” you quip jokingly.

“Oh, for sure. If I didn’t know who you were I’d think that he’s talkin’ about the reincarnation of a goddess with the way he talks.”

“Seriously?” You snort, and Osamu just laughs.

“So I’d like to ask ya the favor of continuin’ to take care of him. Guy’s just a huge ass baby. I can obviously see that yer good for him, though. He wouldn’t have stayed for so long if he wasn’t serious.”

The two of you briefly glance at Atsumu helping his mother set the table. They’re currently debating over whether Atsumu should go back to his natural hair color and “Stop makin’ yer hair look like fuckin’ straw!”

“He is a huge ass baby,” you start seriously, causing Osamu to smirk. “But he’s an honest and good person, so I’m not too bothered. I’ll take care of him, promise.”

“Thanks.” Osamu sighs, glancing rather fondly in his brother’s direction. “He’s an asshole, but at least he’s a redeemable asshole. I’m glad he’s finally got someone around to take care of him. Makes us all feel a little more relieved since he’s away from home.”

You suddenly feel warm inside.

Atsumu had been right; you truly didn’t have anything to be afraid of. The Miyas have been nothing but kind and welcoming so far, and they even seem to already have a positive opinion of you.

“Can ya help me carry these to the table?” Osamu holds out a plate of freshly-made onigiri.

“Ah, sure!” you accept hurriedly, taking the plate from him with careful hands. You take slow, calculated steps towards the dining room; the last thing you want is to accidentally drop any of the food.

Atsumu and his parents are already waiting in the dining room, and they all look up at you expectantly as you approach them with the onigiri plate in hand.

“Why, thank you, dear!” Mrs. Miya chirps. “Helpin’ Osamu out! How sweet of ya — “

She’s cut off as disaster strikes.

You trip on your last step to the table, causing a single onigiri to tumble off the plate and towards the floor. Your mouth drops open wide as you practically slam the plate down on the table and in practical slow-motion, watch the onigiri plummet down, down, down —

Then you dive.

You dive towards the floor, in the same manner as you do when you’re digging for a volleyball.

And you catch the rice ball in one hand, laying flat on your stomach. You have a moment of mental celebration; yes, you caught the onigiri! Then you realize that you look like a fucking idiot as you lay face down with one hand extended and clutching a rice ball like it’s your lifeline.

There’s a few seconds of agonizing silence.

You want the earth to swallow you whole.

There’s no way that you could ever show your face in front of Atsumu’s family or even Atsumu himself now; God you’ve never been more embarrassed in your life, and over an onigiri too —

“Nice receive!” Atsumu suddenly bellows, clapping his hands boisterously. “(L/N) does it again!”

His brother, who’s standing a few feet behind you with a platter of chicken skewers, pumps his free fist into the air and joins in with a “Hell yeah!”

Mr. Miya starts laughing the same loud Miya laugh that you’ve heard way too many times today, and his sons soon follow suit. Shame is still flooding your body, but now you’re realizing just how ridiculous the whole situation is and you resist the urge to smile at your own stupidity. As soon as Mrs. Miya recovers from her initial surprise, she comes to help you up, and you can tell that she’s doing her best not to laugh as well.

“Are ya okay, dear?” she briefly inspects you for any sign of injury.

“All good here, Mrs. Miya.” You smile, genuinely and comfortably, as Atsumu comes behind you to wrap his arms around you and peck your cheek, still chuckling with a small note of pride. “All good.”

-

“See?” Atsumu’s smug as hell as the two of you enter the hotel elevator on your way up to your room. Osamu had dropped you off so there would be no need for another cab. “I told ya that they’d fuckin’ love ya.”

“Why’re you rubbing in something like this?” You scoff, dodging when he tries to pull you into a crushing hug.

“Because I was right.” He smirks. You roll your eyes to heaven.

“Well, you can’t blame me for being nervous! I still can’t believe that none of them got upset at me for diving for a rice ball at the dinner table.” You groan, hiding your face in your hands.

“Nah, why the hell would they? It was cool. Yer cool, Miss National Team Libero.” He laughs, reaching for you again and this time you let him bring you close to him. “Besides, like I said before, who could ever resist yer pretty lil face?”

“You’re a hopeless asshole.” You sigh, and Atsumu of course just chuckles, his laughter vibrating against your ear as you press yourself into his chest.

“I’m yer hopeless asshole.” He pecks the top of your head. “C’mon, babe. It’s our floor.”

You hadn’t realized how tired you are until the two of you enter your hotel room and you see the large, inviting bed. You practically jump onto it, burying your face into a pillow. “Goodnight…” you mumble sleepily.

“Ya gotta go shower and brush yer teeth first, idiot.” A pillow smacks you in the side of the head, and you leap up with a cry of surprise. “Damn, don’t be so loud, sweetheart. It’s late, y’know. Don’t wanna get a noise complaint like last night.” You turn bright red at the reminder.

“Shut u-up,” you retort. “I told you that we shouldn’t have tried to do it on the balcony.”

“It was fun, though, y’know! An experience. And ya sounded like you were enjoyin’ it, anyway.” He chucks another pillow at you, and you yelp as it nails you in the face. “Now get yer cute ass over here, we’re gonna shower.”

“You can’t make me.” You stubbornly lay back down and close your eyes, and you had peace for all but ten seconds before Atsumu’s plucking you off the bed and settling you into his arms bridal-style. Your eyes shoot open in shock and you flail desperately. “Put me down!”

“No can do. I’m not sleepin’ next to yer stinky self tonight, darlin’.” Atsumu laughs as you scowl.

“The floor’s always open for you,” you snap.

“Aw, yer no fun.” He steals a kiss from you in the blink of an eye; the only evidence of there being contact at all is a tingling feeling on your lips. You feel your heart melt just a little more.

“Fine. After we shower, we go straight to bed. Got it?”

“ And brush our teeth. Yer mornin’ breath is bad enough.” He lets out quite an unpleasant squawk when you smack him lightly in the shoulder. “Alright, sorry, sorry.”

“Is this just your excuse to see me naked?” you tease him as he sets you down on the bathroom counter before immediately removing his shirt to reveal his muscled torso. He grins wolfishly at you and shrugs.

“And if it is?” Atsumu’s eyes are zeroed in on the small hickey he had left right below your collarbone last night, which is now visible thanks to the way your shirt had rumpled after he had practically manhandled you into the bathroom.

“Well, I won’t complain.” You follow his gaze down to your neck, before glancing back up to meet his eyes and raise an eyebrow at him. “If you’re going to make it worth my time.”

About an hour later, the two of you are lying in bed together, effectively tuckered out and finally ready to sleep. Atsumu’s strong arms are wrapped tightly around you like a protective cocoon as you snuggle your face against his chest. The slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat rocks you towards dreamland, and all the worries from the past day are slipping away.

“Hey, ‘Tsumu,” you mumble against his chest. He grunts tiredly.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

There’s a small silence.

“...Thanks,” you finally say after a beat.

“Huh? For what?” he quips.

“For being patient with me today, even though I was so nervous. And for taking me to meet your family.” You crane your head to look up at him, contentment adorning your features. “I had a good time. I hope they don’t hate the idea of me coming around again sometime.”

Atsumu smiles that familiar smile, the smile filled with affection that others rarely get to see. His eyes are almost half-mooned with joy, his lips are curved up in genuine adoration, and his cheeks are flushed with color. You saw this smile for the first time when he set an incredibly low ball at training camp, earning the awe of everyone in the room, including yourself. Never did you think that you would ever have this expression of pure love aimed at you, nor did you think it would fill you with so much happiness every time you had the blessing of seeing it. He says nothing for a while, suddenly resorting to trailing kisses all over your face. You let him, closing your eyes peacefully as he showers you with his love, ending with one final peck to your nose.

“I'm sure they'd like to have you around again.”

And if Atsumu continues playing his cards right, he thinks there might be a possibility that in the next five or so years, you could truly become part of the family with a glittering ring on your finger.

Only time will tell if that possibility will ever come to fruition, but as you tilt your head up to give him one last kiss on the lips and whisper those three words to him, he knows for sure that he wants to continue building towards that future with you.

“I love you too.” He lets his eyes fall shut as well, before resting his chin atop your head and savoring the warmth of your body against his.

Only time will tell.

-

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[solena2]

So.

Tommy isn’t Theseus. Every time I see Techno’s analogy about Tommy being Theseus brought up I’m filled with endless rage and I’ve DECIDED!

That it’s about time I explained just why it’s so objectively incorrect.

-

First: a bit of backstory on Theseus, because I doubt many of you actually know much about him beyond what Techno said in his “so you want to be a hero” speech, which left out a lot of relevant details.

Theseus was a demigod with two fathers and one mother. His fathers were king Aegeus of Athens and the sea god Poseidon, and his mother was Aethra, Aegeus’ wife. Aethra raised Theseus on her own, far from Athens to avoid him being assassinated.

Aegeus left him nothing but a sword with the Athenian crest and a pair of sandals, buried under a rock so no one else could get them.

When Theseus came of age, he took the sword and sandals and headed up to Athens, slaying various monsters along the way. (It pains me to abbreviate it that much, but Techno left out everything before the Minotaur so it won’t help me much in debunking his analogy.)

Once he got to Athens, he met up with his dad, chased out his stepmom Medea, (yes, that Medea) and killed some people. Then comes the relevant part.

Crete had won a war against Athens a while back, and because of this, every seven years Athens was forced to send 14 tributes to be killed by the Minotaur. (Yes, this inspired the Hunger Games)

Theseus decided he’d volunteer and kill the Minotaur, thus ending the tribute system for good and getting one over on Athens. He promised his dad that if he won, he’d come back in a ship with white sails, as opposed to the standard mourning black that signified the death of the tributes.

So he went to Crete, met king Minos and his daughters Ariadne and Phaedra, and got sent into the labyrinth. Ariadne gave him a magic ball of string that kept him from getting lost, allowing him to find the Minotaur and then safely get out afterwards, providing he could kill it.

He killed it, led his other 13 tributes out, and sailed back home. On the way, Athena told him to leave Ariadne stranded on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, so he immediately did so, because Theseus was an asshole.

He got home, his dad committed suicide because Theseus forgot the white sails and his dad assumed he’d died, Theseus became king and married Phaedra, and then the fun began, because again, Theseus was an asshole.

First, he cheated on Phaedra with Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons, so she left and took the kids. Next, he and his other asshole friend Pirithous decided to kidnap themselves some new wives. Theseus decided on Helen of Troy, who was a child at the time, and Pirithous decided on Persephone, which resulted in both him and Theseus getting stuck in the Underworld for a while due to pissing off Hades.

Once he got back up, he killed his son for fucking his wife, which is messed up on many levels, and then left Athens because his people were rightfully not super okay with that.

Then he goes and meets Lycomedes, who throws him off a cliff.

-

Next, let’s talk about Techno’s speech a bit.

He starts off by accusing Tommy of being a power hungry dictator (paraphrased), before asking him if he wants to be a hero.

Then, he provides what is apparently the archetypal example of heroism, something often associated with selflessness, kindness, and generally giving at least one singular solitary fuck about other people.

Theseus! Heroic hero who does heroic things, like, uhhh *checks notes* cheating on his wife, kidnapping children with plans to forcefully marry them, leaving people alone on tiny islands with no supplies, killing his kid, etc. etc...

So we’re off to a great start.

Then, he gives a short summary of Theseus’ life and times! He skips the first part of his life completely, which is hilarious to me because it’s the only time Theseus ever did anything actually heroic or selfless, and gets straight to the meat!

“Let me tell you a story, Tommy. A story of a man called Theseus. His country was in danger, he sent himself forward! Into enemy lines. He slayed the Minotaur! And saved his city. You know what they did to him, Tommy? They exiled him. He died in disgrace, despised by his people. That’s what happens to heroes, Tommy.”

-Technoblade

So first off, he doesn’t mention... really anything other than the Minotaur and the exile, which is leaving out a lot of relevant details, like why Theseus was exiled. (You know, killing his son in cold blood?)

Second, he doesn’t give details in general. Not that he should’ve given a full telling, or anything, but I’m always surprised by the shortness of this speech when I go back and listen to it. He pretty much just gives the barest bones of an argument and expects his audience to take it at face value. (Which they do, but it’s still bad practice)

From the more accurate (if still brief) summary if Theseus’ life I’ve just given, I’m sure you can see why this might be more than a bit dubious, as an analogy. Given cc!Technoblade is literally an English major, and doubtless knows significantly more about the myth than I do, I’d imagine this was never intended to be taken at face value.

Over and over again, c!Techno proves himself to be an unreliable narrator, and over and over again, the fandom at large takes his word as gospel.

-

Now, as far as a more in depth argument for Tommy as Theseus goes, I will attempt to debunk that as well, because there are some genuinely good points to be made.

First of all, most people make Dream out to be the Minotaur. Given the time this speech was made, I imagine Schlatt was the intended target of that, but with latter events in mind, Dream does make much more sense.

I’d say this is honestly pretty fair, but I don’t think Tommy takes the role of Theseus in that narrative. I’d argue he’s much more analogous to the role of Ariadne, giving the tools required to defeat Dream but ultimately not doing so through his own power, but because someone chose to take those tools and make use of them. This also provides the very interesting characterization of Punz as Theseus, which is an incredibly unique take that I hope some a Punz enthusiast does something with, because I don’t know enough about his lore to make a good analysis on that.

The idea of Schlatt as the Minotaur, as was probably intended by Techno at the time, makes much more sense, though I still think other characters fit the role better. Firstly, Schlatt wasn’t killed, he died of a heart attack, and if someone had killed him I think it’s more likely to have been Wilbur or Techno who did it than Tommy, as Tommy was still very hopeful and idealistic at the time, at least compared to his character now. You could posit Tommy as Ariadne again in this situation, given he was the one to mastermind the final charge, and though I think Tommy as Ariadne is an idea that’s worth further exploration, I’d say Fundy futs the Ariadne role here much better, with him giving the spy’s diary before being effectively shunned and left out in the cold by both Pogtopia and Manburg, much like Ariadne was abandoned in the original myth.

I’d posit the Theseus in this scenario as Techno, Wilbur, or possibly Philza, as they were the ones to actually kill things in the 16th, though Techno and Wilbur’s killings were more in the metaphorical sense, taking the second life of L’manburg.

As for the exile, Tommy exile was alike to that of Theseus only in concept. Both were sent from their kingdoms for a crime, resulting in a falling out with someone close to them, and had a precarious relationship with heights while they were gone, but that’s about where the similarities end and even then they’re superficial.

First of all, Tommy’s exile was far more because Dream was looking for an excuse to do it than because briefing actually means anything on the SMP, given how Dream had been griefing bases and blaming Tommy for it for a while before it went down. (Fun fact, Bad and Skeppy were going to burn one of his discs over this, but one of them got sick so they had to cancel the stream.)

Theseus’ exile, on the other hand, was entirely deserved, especially when you consider how serious a crime killing family was in Ancient Greek culture. It was pretty much the biggest no-no in existence, and I’m almost surprised he wasn’t just straight up executed for it.

Second, Tommy’s falling out with Tubbo was almost entirely due to outside forces, (Dream) rather than because anything Tommy had done. Though Tommy’s cavalierness towards the trial and attempts to threaten Dream with Spirit doubtless didn’t help things, Dream surrounding L’manburg in obsidian walls and threatening them to exile Tommy was entirely his own choice, and not something that can be pinned on Tommy, no matter what the apologists may say.

Meanwhile, Theseus’ falling out with Phaedra had begun long before his exile with him cheating on her. Him killing his son was merely the last in a long line of dominos to completely destroy their relationship.

Last, Tommy nearly killing himself is very different from Theseus being pushed off a cliff. Tommy’s near suicide was the direct result of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of c!Dream for what was canonically, I believe, several months? (Correct me if I’m wrong on that one.) Tommy almost jumping off a pillar because he was deliberately isolated from his support systems is nothing like Theseus being killed because he was a cocky asshole who thought he was god.

-

So that’s why I don’t think Tommy is anything like Theseus, and why I’m filled with endless rage by the completely uncritical acceptance of this parallel, but it’s not the whole reason it pisses me off.

It also pisses me off because, as stated earlier, cc!Techno is an English major. He knew what he was doing with this. The fandom’s insistence on refusing to acknowledge his character as an unreliable narrator is, in my opinion, acting as a massive kneecap to what could be a great analysis of how he thinks.

Specifically: why does c!Technoblade think Tommy is like Theseus?

Of all the Greek heroes to pick, why that one? Was it just the tantalizing opportunity to parallel Schlatt with a horned monster, or was it because c!Techno has some genuine in-character reason to think this myth specifically applies to Tommy.

Now, we all know people in the SMP have a habit of analogizing Wilbur and Tommy. The assumption Tommy wanted to be president, the belief that Tommy nominated Tubbo directly, the belief that he was intentionally deceiving Techno about Pogtopia’s intentions regarding Manburg... all of these stem from Wilbur. There are more cases of this, of course, but several analyses have been done in the subject already, and this is long enough without more padding.

So why does Techno think Tommy is Theseus? Well, it’s simple, isn’t it?

Wilbur is Theseus.

To be continued, because this is already too long and my brain hurts.