#I mean those are just really simple lables

[neck-thats-made-for-bruising]

So I have realized of my best friends (?) is like,, kinda mean and I feel so uncomfortable

shes saying things like 'eww the pimples in his hairline are sooo gross he probably doesn't even wash his face' and I've learned that if people are making fun of someone but I don't want to say it's mean, I just say something about myself so I said 'oh yeah I have lots of pimples in my hairline cause my hair is really oily' and she said well yeah but that's different

and then today our class smelled like fish (it's also a cooking class) and she started saying it was one of the girls and I felt really bad and then another girl said it's proably you (to my friend) and she got upset but I mean she was doing it to someone else so

asdfkjshda teenagers are really fucking mean

[vveakfish]

do you have any thoughts about the core four whose gender(s) are basically just a trans fruit cocktail that you would like to talk about? because I would love to listen

oh boy DO I !!!

I have So Many thoughts about them Anon, so thank you for giving me an excuse to try and put it into words beyond “Damn, these bitches trans! Good for them.”

Honestly, there are so many different ways to explore these characters genders based on how you choose to interpret their life experiences, and their aesthetic changes, and their relationships with each other. I am of the belief that any of them could be trans in any direction

But, that said, I Do have particular gender headcanons for YJ that i am very fond of, so thats what I’ll be talking about today.

(Small disclaimer. I have not finished all of the comics referenced in this. I am using the information i have to inform these, but you know, i might come back to this post at some point in the future and look at it like “wow, i don’t agree with any of this anymore.” And i think thats okay.

I’m just here to have fun, and i thoroughly enjoy these little guys, and think abt them alot, so enjoy

(also if you dont want to read 4.1k words of blorbo gender analysis, or would like to avoid spoilers for Superboy (1993), Young Justice (1998) & (2019), and Red Robin (2009) in varying degrees of detail, or you just want to see what lables i assigned them, scroll down to the bottom <3))

lets get started.

Bart:

Bart's gender is the most complex, but his thought process about it is also the most simple. I think his view of gender would be very much influenced by the fact that he grew up in VR in the future like…

A body is just an avatar, do what ever the fuck you want with it.

That said, the lil guy has always given me transmasc vibes. These vibes, however, are by no means binary.

He understands that in the 21st century a lot of people do not have his sort of “throw things at the wall and see what sticks” approach to gender, so he’s okay with being put in the box of Boy™. But his gender is a lot more * hand waves vaguely *

Clothes don’t have gender in his eyes, they’re fabric you put on your body. Wear what ever you want forever!

Bart in skirts is something i have seen many people draw/talk about before, and its something i agree with wholeheartedly. He likes hair clips, and like, those loud (actually loud and visually loud) beaded bracelet type things that ravers wear. He like nail polish. He doesn’t grow facial hair, but he wouldn’t care if he did. He’s not on hormones, but he definitely considered it for the bit. “Gotta drink my boy juice” Kind of vibes.

For him gender has Nothing to do with performance, its all about comfort. About wearing what feels right, regardless of whether or not he’s adhering to expectations of masculinity.

Yes, he Will wear that god awful outfit out of the house, haters can die mad

Cassie:

Anon, I need you to understand how much i love early yj98 cass. She is everything to me — her process of coming to terms with herself, and being able to watch her start to feel at home in her own skin. It makes me absolutely feral.

lets see if i can explain why… succinctly

When we first meet her in yj98, her identity as “Wonder Girl” is this sort of amalgamation of What it Means To Be A Hero in her eyes. She has her party city blunt bob wig (Because Diana is who she looks up to), the gloves, leather jacket, goggles combo (that so clearly take inspiration from Kon).

At this point in her life Wonder Girl is not really her. Its very clearly a mask she’s putting on. which is what makes it the perfect avenue for her to explore gender expression without it having to actually be about her gender.

I think the part that specifically makes me feral though is her… we’ll call it admiration of Kon.

The girl is a self proclaimed Superboy stan + theres all the weird not-drama between Cassie and Cissie over wanting attention from Kon. (And i say Not Drama bc its like… Kon flirting with cissie (which like… have you met 90’s Kon?? he flirts with everything that moves) and Cassie being upset that he’s Not flirting with her. and cissie is just along for the ride. She’s not quite as much of a flirt as kon is, but she has her moments)

All of this to say i feel like its impossible to have a conversation about Cassie’s gender without also talking about her experiences with comphet and lesbianism.

At the beginning, Cassie sees Kon — this cocksure, conventionally attractive boy with powers that (at first glance) seem very similar to hers, and felt something about it. And, in the way of teen girls who have been told since grade school that they’re supposed to like boys, Cassie comes to the conclusion that what she feels for Kon must be romantic in nature, right?.

All of this, the jealousy over Kon and Cissie flirting, basing her costume off Superboy’s (intentionally or otherwise), the fact that she wont let her team see her without the wig and goggles at all for so much of yj98. To me it all reads as the tangled mix of undiscovered lesbianism and gender dysphoria that the poor girl simply doesn’t have the words to define yet.

So, then what IS cassie’s deal with gender???

i am so very glad you asked.

She, too, is a transmasc of the nonbinary variety.

I think her relationship to femininity is complex, and ever changing. She doesn’t feel comfortable performing femininity the way the world expects her to, but she is also part Amazon. And i think having a relationship with both Diana and Donna would greatly influence how she felt about femininity as a whole.

The Amazons are strong, their femininity isn’t about beauty, or being soft spoken — it isn’t about Men at all. On Themyscira, to be a Woman is about bravery, honor, skill, and in some ways, divinity. Getting closer with her Amazonian sisters would change her relationship to womanhood immensely.

But it still wouldn’t feel Right. She would be able to see that womanhood can be defined differently, but that wouldn’t change the connotations that womanhood had as she was growing up. She’d never be able to lean into it the way Diana or Donna do — they both grew up only having woman defined as strong and brave and confident. Their experiences are not analogous.

The baggage of growing up a girl under the patriarchy wouldn’t just… vanish because she sees that it Doesn’t have to be that way. In some ways, the knowledge that it didn’t have to be that way could make her dysphoria all that stronger (especially if she hasn’t quite deciphered that dysphoria is what she’s feeling).

but i think there would be a point where two things sharpen into focus for her.

fiirstly she has a big fat crush on cissie king-jones.

and second (which would only come AFTER realizing her feelings for cissie) is that what she feels for Kon is Not the same as what she feels for Ciss.

She didn’t want to be with Kon romantically, she just wanted his gender.

I could see her experimenting with wearing a binder, liking that she can get rid of her boobs if she isn’t feeling them that day.

She already has her short hair, and her leather jacket and jeans, and shes big and buff and strong (because she deserves to be butch!!! okay???).

I still think she would use she/her pronouns, but she wouldn’t be picky ab it (if she gets called sir while at the pizza place, she’s not going to correct them.)

But here’s the kicker — I think leaning hard into her masculinity would be EXACTLY what she needs in order to actually ENJOY expressing femininity again.

When putting on the mask that is ‘womanhood’ becomes something that she can Choose to do, rather than something that is being forced on her, it can be pleasant. Like playing dress up.

She has a new appreciation for it, especially since her friends respect her gender, and she knows at the end of the day, when she takes the makeup, the clothes, and the wig off, underneath it all she’s just her.

(Small addendum re: TT’03 Cassie’s fem phase. I have Many thoughts about this as well, and while they end up in roughly the same place, i exploring her experience with comphet and her decision to dress in a more traditionally feminine in that run is something id like to explore in another post (once i’ve actually read the run too.)

Cissie (bonus):

This one should be shorter than Cassies, mainly because my reasoning for it is much simpler.

YJ'98 (#11)

She lists all these names, all of them feminine except for Fucking Ralph. “One weird phase” she calls it.

To me, Cissie is a transgirl through and through. She has this huge list of femme names she tried on while she tried to find the one that fit best. She mentions ralph in this off handed way, as if its not important, and i think thats just her way of dismissing her deadname as something of little consequence.

(that said, i think there’s lots of fun to be had with transmasc cissie, or tried transing-her-gender and realized it wasn’t for her Cissie. But as a transfemme, tgirl cissie is So important to me <3)

Kon:

other people on here have made posts about Kon’s gender that are much more coherent than this will be, but i’m putting the words down anyway. bear with me.

Kon’s experience with identity (especially in his earlier years) is almost entirely about the external rather than the internal.

Kon has his whole life planned out for him from the moment he opens his eyes. It’s simple really — become Superman.

So you have this freshly hatched teenage boy, saving the world as Superman (not the Only one, but definitely the coolest one (Kon would argue)). All eyes on him, all the time. In some ways, performance is inseparable from who he is. From the very beginning, everything he does is on display.

He starts his life with a Name (Superman), a life path (…again, Superman), and all the confidence of a sixteen year old jock with nothing but wins under his belt. then it all gets taken away.

Turns out Clark ISNT dead, and the world doesn’t need its pint sized superman anymore now that its got the real thing.

enter Superboy

Kon’s entire identity, his whole purpose for being alive, was to step into the shoes of a dead man who is no longer dead. So where does that leave our genetically engineered test tube baby?

lost, and extremely confused.

But he’s good at using his charisma as a shield, and even better at keeping himself busy. His problems aren’t there if he doesn’t have the time to think about them, right?

and i think that’s true about his gender as well.

Similar to Cassie, his discovery and exploration of his gender feels incredibly tied to his sexuality (to me). If you’ve read sb93, you know Kon’s deal with women. He is cute & conventionally attractive & he's like superman with a fashion sense, so of course there are people fawning over him.

And he loves the attention. He likes that people want him, or that they are looking at him. The issue is he doesn’t have the life experience to realize that their reasons for paying attention to him are often very shallow, manipulative, or selfish.

He isn’t treated as a person very often. He’s a brand, a product, a tool, a weapon. He’s arm candy, he’s a photo op, he’s a headline, he’s a paycheck. And it takes him a long time to be able to tell the difference between someone Liking Him & someone Using Him.

For the longest Time, Superboy is all he is. He doesn’t have a name outside of that identity (except for the various pet names the women in his life give him (kid & pup, mainly)).

And even when Clark does give him his real name, Kon-El, its still Attatched to his identity as Superboy.

I dont think that he would really even be able to start dissecting how HE feels about his identity until he’s much older.

Part of this would come from the space to be someone else that gaining a civilian identity would give him. As Superboy, the goal has always been to stand out, to be seen, to shine like the sun.

As Conner Kent, he has to blend in. He doesnt want to draw attention to himself, or the Kents, or Clark. He has to fit in, which was never something he had to do as Kon. And i think it would kind of chafe at him — but he wouldn’t really know why.

I think he’d chalk it up to how different of an experience it is. Not being loud, having to be normal™. And so i think he’d just… continue to play the part. For a while anyway.

And like, part of being Normalest Boy Conner Kent would also involve actively un-queer coding himself for the sake of fitting into the ecosystem of Smallville High. and its like…

Young Justice, as a friend group, is SOOO queerplatonic. The lines between romantic and platonic intimacy are so blurred, and Prior to Kon’s YJ days he he was also like… living with these woman who he had complicated relationships with that also blurred the lines between platonic, romantic, and sexual (…looking at you, Knockout).

So learning where the line is when it comes to how he can acceptably interact with his civilian friends (particularly the boys) would Really open his eyes to just how close he is with Bart and Tim, and how similar his feelings for them are to his feelings for… lets say, Simon Valentine.

But i dont think That is what would actually tip the scale. I think realizing that these feelings for his friends aren’t considered ‘normal’ would make him shove them down deeper. As ‘Conner’ anyway.

from here it could go two ways, right?

Either we get Teen Titans ‘03 t-shirt Kon, who sheds his GNC 90s swag in exchange for adhering closer to traditional (read; boring) masculine gender roles.

or we get a Kon who leans Harder into his punk roots, but its a conscious choice now.

(this isn’t even digging into how he would feel once Jon comes into the picture, because while Kon cares for that boy Deeply, his feelings abt the new kiddo in the family could also be very complicated. But that’s a post for another time.)

Personally i prefer the second one.

Kon has always been a curious kid, i love the way he makes pop culture references, and how he bases his behavior off of 90’s teen tropes that he Most Definitely learned from TV. In his early days this wasn’t done in a research way necessarily, but he Did want to learn what it was like to Be a Teen™, and TV was the easiest way to figure that out.

(and, playing in the space of Kon adaptations, his love of media/pop culture, and just over all thirst for knowledge, are present both in the Reign of the Supermen Movie, and in his iteration during the n52 (which is one of the few things i personally have internalized from reading n52 Superboy/Teen Titans)).

But post gay awakening, i feel liked he’d be interested not just in behaviors, but also the context of them. Digging into punk as a subculture rather than as an aesthetic. Learning about its connections to queerness, and community, and self expression. And i think this would be extremely freeing for him. (especially if this were around the time of Jon becoming Superboy v.3, but again, not the point of this post.)

this all culminates in Kon being like yk? gender just… isnt for me. Like, it takes im a long time to get to this point, but realizing that the path that was set out for him is just one of the potential paths he can take, and while he might not know where this new path will take him, its his, that that matters.

And also like, Because his friends are who they are, he’s seen different versions of queerness, and transness, but i think it would take him a bit to see himself as someone who Isn’t Cis bc like… he doesnt have dysphoria in the traditional sense.

He’s still the beefcake he’s always been, but i think he’d start playing with makeup when he realizes it makes him feel good (he shows up the the cave one day with smudgy eye liner and Cissie is immediately like a) you look so good and b) can i Please do your makeup? (and then she does it, and he looks so pretty, and he gets these weird giddy feelings that he doesn’t realize is gender euphoria until his friends start talking abt gender euphoria)

His uniform starts to get more personalized too, like the designs where he has knee patches, and all his little belts, and stuff. maybe he starts experimenting with showing skin. bc he deserves it

(’its for maximum sun exposure!!!’ is the what he tells clark… he’s not sure if clark bought it or not)

And hey, exploring gender presentation more as Superboy might help him do the same as Conner. Cassie will take him thrifting, he’ll try of a flowy skirt or a sun dress or something and then its Over. Gender euphoria part two, electric boogagloo.

In the end, its about realizing that adhering gender roles (and truthfully, any socially imposed ‘rule’ about self expression) is something he can simply Choose not to do. And i think this freedom would be something that benefits him in his civilian life as well.

His gender is: literally what ever, man.

Tim:

Ok, here’s the thing about Tim and gender, right? I think he’s kind of just comfortable as he is. He’s good at playing the roles he needs to in what ever situation hes thrown into. ‘Robin’ and ‘Tim Drake’ (and even ‘Tim Drake-Wayne’ if you want to split hairs) might be masks he wears, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less him. if that makes sense. like…

Lets look at the differences between Bruce (or Brucie) and Batman for a second. They really are different people. Batman is who bruce is at his core, ‘bruce’ is this sort of liminal space between the cowl and his public persona, and then theres Brucie™, and well, you know how he is. These are personas that Bruce puts on.

With Tim its like he just highlights different aspects of himself when a situation requires it. (oh no, the autistic!Tim head canons are being loud today.) But like, he’s Always been masking. And i think this is something he would look at as like… getting a good grade in adapting. or something. He’s comfortable, all the roles he plays are ones he’s familiar with, and he doesn’t really question who he is outside of who he needs to be.

That is, until Caroline Hill makes an appearance.

I feel that the decision to go undercover as a woman was a wholly practical decision in the moment. It’s what the mission required, and therefore tim stepped up. Its just another mask, right? Surely this wont awaken anything in him…right?

But this is an entirely new mask. And i think it might like… shift the way he looks at/thinks about the other masks he puts on. He was able to step into a role that was very foreign to him, and it Worked. (and he felt pretty, which like… woah, thats a new feeling. and he kinda liked it? file that under ‘thoughts he doesn’t have the bandwidth to process right now.’ Bruce needs him back at the cave! its time to debreif! and he has a biology test tmrw! no time for gender scaries!!!).

I think it would take a while for him to be able to admit it to himself though. Because like… hes Not uncomfortable with his body, but he also keeps thinking about how good he felt dressed up femininely, and how he felt powerful, in a way. That putting on that mask felt just as good as putting on his domino.

Personally, i think itd be funny if instead of coming out right away, Tim doing undercover missions essentially in drag becomes a recurring thing. And i imagine some people give him a hard time. (not in a transphobic way or anything, i just mean like, teasing him fondly or what ever.) (Also, i like to imagine that when cissie Did kons makeup, bart and Tim jumped in there too bc like hey why not, and hoooooo boy, if Tims egg hadn’t cracked before then, it sure would have cracked after.)

The thing about him is, i’m not sure if he’d come to the realization himself. You know, that he would like to present femme sometimes, in a situation that has Nothing to do with a mission.

I could see Tim convincing himself that its a pointless or frivolous desire, which is Why he relegates his time presenting femme to when he can prove that it’s useful.

but i have this image in my mind, right? Of him, taking his makeup and wig off, and hes chatting with whoever is in the room with him (literally anyone else mentioned above… or Dick). And Tim’s just talking about how he wishes he could present this way in situations other than missions.

and the other person in the room is just like… i mean, you literally can.

and hes just like…. shit you’re right. i Can :0

I could probably go further into depth abt this, but i think this just frees him to start playing with gender more as Tim. and start to recognize when he’s feeling more masculine, more feminine, or somewhere in between.

His gender isn’t consistent, its this thing he’s constantly listening to, and trying to understand. but in the mean time, he can paint his face, and wear pretty clothes, or dress like just Some Guy, or be a hedgehog dressed in traffic light colors, or what ever his heart desires.

As far as like… how He describes his gender, i think he’d say something corny like bi^2 (bi of both the sexual and the gendered varieties). Or shrug, handwave, generally give a non-helpful vague description. Or tell who evers asking to buzz off.

(small addendum wrt Kon and Cassie in TT’03. I haven’t read this run yet, so i didn’t really include it in this post. But i Do have thoughts about what might cause the two of them (my gnc besties from my comics books) to lean sooooo hard into traditional gender roles after being So Queercoded in their other appearences. Before i talk abt that though, i want to read the comic. So, that will have to be a post for another time)

ANYWAY, heres that TL;DR i promised.

Bart: NB Transmasc Cassie: NB Lesbian (of the transmasc variety) Kon: Agender Tim: Fluid (bi-gender) + Cissie: Transgirl

Thank you soooooo much for giving me the opporrtunity to ramble abt the silles and how Not Cis i think they are. Love you forever.

[exvangelicalrage]

Exvangelical Rage

4/13/23

I'm not sure how I feel about the term #exvangelical. I recently had the opportunity (misfortune?) to spend some time among some episcopalians, and I made the spontaneous decision to be open about my lack of christianity, and my deliberate exit from said ideology. And some of the questions I fielded, besides "why?" and "what was the trigger for you?" included, "so you attended an evangelical church then?"

And I said no. Because I didn't—not technically. I attended a couple wesleyan churches, a couple methodist churches, a couple baptist churches, a nazarene? Nothing labled "evangelical." This meant that a couple of the people listening to me were able to dismiss everything I said with a simple, "oh, I'm episcopalian, not evangelical, so your experiences aren't relevant to me." 

Like wtf bro

It made me mad. Obviously. I don't like being ignored and invalidated, especially when I made the choice to open up and be vulnerable in a potentially hostile environment.

To be clear, I know these people would have likely found a way to invalidate me even if I didn't use the term exvangelical. But I'm considering exchristian instead. Because that's really a lot more accurate.

But I think there is a disconnect between the way many exvangelicals think about what it means to have left christianity, and the way christians perceive exvangelicals. I came across an article by a theologian who concluded that the exvangelical "movement" was mostly fueled by rage that would eventually burn out, and "those heathens" (my words haha) wouldn't make any progress unless they could find some common ground and come together.

After my initial burst of rage, I rolled my eyes. Whoever said we were a movement? We're not. We're a group of loosely affiliated individuals who had a similar experience. We're not trying to evangelize others out of their faith. We're just trying to be authentic and learning to respect ourselves. We are seeking logical and ethical consistency between action and belief.

This theologian clearly can't separate his own foundational faith from his understanding of someone else's lack of faith.

Classic. 

When I call myself exvangelical, I mean that I left christianity and never looked back. I mean that I looked christianity in the eye, and found that it lied. I mean that the *fundamental ideology of christianity* did irreparable harm to me. And it was wielded not by a single pastor or leader, nor by a single church or organization, but by all of them. Every single one. 

So yeah. Exvangelical. Exchristian. Atheist. Agnostic. Whatever you want to call me, it doesn't matter. Because it doesn't change the fact that I left, and I'm never going back.

[0dirty-deals0]

Made with Love: Brothers x GN!MC (Hinted Crush)

Warning: None, Mc is gender neutral. Chat spoilers because a chat inspired this

Others: The Hell Coffee chat heavily inspired this fic but I'm sorry if it's OOC! I also apologize for all the mistakes you may find! It's another past 10pm fic.

It was your turn to make dinner today, and you were excited to serve them a super simple tiramisu recipe you learned a while back. You were incredibly thankful that Lucifer had time to get the ingredients you requested back in the human realm, though he did leave out one of the most important ingredient which was coffee. Determined to make the cake, you managed to find the devildom version of it. They didn't look very different to the ones back home and they had a rather nice mild flavour. You thought they would work perfectly with the cake and they did!

"The cake looks lovely, Mc."

"I can't wait to eat it."

"Hold on! I have to take a picture!"

Your feel a little flustered by all the compliments but you can't deny how happy you feel and let out a giggle. "Thank you! It's really just a simple treat, but I hope you guys still enjoy it."

"If you guys aren't gonna dig in then I'm going to finish mine and steal all your slieces," Mammon announces out loud. With that, they all took a bite, including you, and while you enjoyed how it tasted, the brothers looked at it confused after a few bites of it. While you enjoyed the silence from their usual bickering, you did grow concerned by the look on their faces.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, it's fine. Just-"

"Mc, the cake is super bitter. It's like eating a pill," it was your turn to stare at them confused.

"That's strange, it tastes fine to me," then you think about what could have possibly changed the way it tasted. "...Could it be the coffee I used?"

"What do you mean?"

"Lucifer forgot to get me coffee from the human world so I substituted it with the coffee found in the pantry."

Another few moments of silence washed over once again.

"Do you remember what coffee it was?"

"Yeah, the lable read hell coffee, I think," you can see some of the brothers jump in their seats and their faces were tinted with various shades of red. "Wait, oh no, did I just poison you guys!?" Or did you get poisoned? You drank the coffee earlier though, and you're still alive.

"Calm down, Mc. You didn't poison us, Lucifer drinks that stuff like it's water every single day," Belphie doesn't even flinch when Lucifer sends a glare his way. "Hell coffee just has a certain thing to it that makes it special from human coffee."

"Oh."

Once that's out of the way, the brother's resume eating the cake, now with no problem at all. You're a little taken aback by their action and very concerned at the same time.

"You guys don't have to force yourself to eat it, y'know? I won't be hurt since I did mess it up."

"No, I like the cake you made," Beel says as he begins to take another slice. He never minded the taste to begin with but after knowing just how special it was made him just want as much of it as he can get.

"So do I, I'd love to get the recipe so I could make it for you in return, Mc," Satan takes another bite before reconsidering something for a moment. "Though for you, we'd definitely have to get human coffee."

"But isn't the cake awfully bitter-?"

"Mc, I can say with absolute confidence that your cake is divine," Asmo reassures you. "Trust me, we wouldn't be eating it if we didn't enjoy it."

"Mc, can I get another slice?"

"Me first!"

"Mammon, wait your turn!"

You can't help but oblige their demand. They look rather happy while eating your cake despite how it tasted. While you were a bit weirded out, you were glad that they seemed to like it. You happily continued to eat your cake along with them.

While the amount you made wasn't much, it still surprised you that the whole cake was finished in a few hours. It was funny to witness Mammon, Levi and Beel fight over the last slice only to have it taken by Lucifer himself.

"That's not fair!" Whined Levi, but Lucifer paid him no mind as he slowly and agonizingly enjoyed the cake with a smug look on his face.

After dinner was done, all of them thanked you for the treat, with some offering to give you something just as lovely in return. Lucifer offered to help with the dishes as he was free for the rest of the night and you accepted his offer. You enjoyed small moments with him when you got the chance.

While drying off the plates, Lucifer lets out a small chuckle beside you. Even though he seems to be looking at the plate he's washing, there's a kind of fondness in his eyes.

"What're you thinking about, Lucifer?" You decide to take a chance to see if he would let you take a peek at his thoughts.

"Oh, I was just thinking how brave it was of you to serve us a cake made with hell coffee."

Curiousity urged you to ask more about it. "What's so special about hell coffee? Why did it suddenly turn bitter for all of you? More importantly, what possessed you guys to finish eating it?"

He gives you a side glance and his tone has changed to an amused one as he explains. "Hell coffee has a certain special property where it changes flavour when served to a person," he hands you the final plate which you take and begin to dry. "The coffee changes to an awfully bitter taste when given to the person that the maker is fond of."

You choke on your spit and almost drop the plate your holding after hearing those words leave his lips. You feel your face beginning to grow rather warm as you turn just as red as Levi did during dinner. The coffee did WHAT now!?

Lucifer leans in close to you, whispering right by your ear. "We can't wait to taste more of your feelings, Mc." Lucifer runs his fingers across your shoulder blades before exiting the kitchen to continue on with his night, leaving you clutching the plate tight as you wonder what you've now gotten yourself into.

[sorrelink]

WIP: Tales from the Peninsula

Hello Writeblr! I have returned with something that can only be described as a pot of pancake dough ingredients that haven’t even been mixed yet. a Sort Of Work In Progress!

Though I haven’t really read a lot of fantasy books or consumed fantasy media, I’ve always loved the thought of knights and dragons and castles and all that generic fantasy stuff, so what better way to get myself into writing than to indulge myself without sweating too much about Originality and Uniqueness?

With the help of my Royal Cartographer (also known as my girlfriend) I’ve come up with a fantasy land, in which our many OC’s will get into all kinds of shenanigans that I hope to share with you in a not very distant future. 

Since this WIP has barely been started, the following place names and all sorts of other things are subject to change. This is just a visual aid for you and for me.

This is THE PENINSULA.

Currently the focus on my first few story ideas is the area in yellow, here labled as Temlia -- a kingdom ruled by a peaceful king, until some border disputes begin. 

So far I’ve divided the map into four unnamed cultures, (or more, if you get into the details which I don’t have decided on yet) -- the real world equivalents, at least when it comes to place and people names are:

Finnic - Green - Known traits: Paganism, polyamory, nomadic/tribal lifestyle, shamanic magic, generally show disdain for the norms of other cultures. They are not brute barbarians, though.

English - Red

Ruthenian - Purple - Known traits: Monotheism, in Temlia a royal successor does not have to be a direct relative, but can be adopted (think Roman Empire).

German - Yellow - Known traits:Naval culture.

I am also planning to include Magic in this world, most likely as an inherited ability that will mage the mages feel Special(tm), and possibly werewolves and/or other were-beings, possibly other creatures too.

As for story ideas -- I’ve already got a few motives that I can share with you:

A young servant who comes from a simple background not only manages to make it up the ranks of the court, but finds his way into at least several different bedchambers, finds love and gains a title! (There is no way this isn’t going to be PG-13).

The king has 3 daughters, his wife ran away ages ago, he has depression and now two of those three daughters run away to find adventures of their own.

A princess travelling incognito through the Northern Wilderness in search of her mother.

Another princess defying her father and running off to the front lines of The War. There she meets a cowardly bagpiper from a travelling troupe, who falls head over heels for her.

The Cowardly Bagpiper’s brother, the Lute Player meets a Mage. And they are so gay for each other, you have no idea.

I will be writing up short introduction posts for these OC’s with their face claims, and then for some I am writing short short stories to let you get to know them better and so I can find my feet in this universe.

One more thing -- once my high school English teacher told me that my stories lack meaning, that they’re like pulp fiction, to which I now say -- there is no harm in writing just for fun and not everything has to have a Deeper Meaning. So, if even one of you out there will have fun reading these, I’ll be happy.

 Čau!

[ocular-intercourse]

@mangosandchili, Asher, the 4th

🌲 What is the kindest thing your OC has ever done for someone? What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for them? On the flip side, what is the worst thing your OC has done to another person?

People probably don’t immediately consider Asher to be kind, especially not since Adam disappeared. But that’s just because Asher tends to hide it. He is full of kindness, but most of it is silent, secret. Being kind for him is easy, cause he has the means to be kind easily, he does not want the attention because he does not want the praise for something that is so effortless with his privilege. He’s the person to pay for a meal when nobody is looking and when they go to pay the waiter tells them it’s already taken care of. He makes donations, but never in his name. He protects every single person close to him every single day. That’s probably the kindest thing he does, taking the weight of the world on his own shoulders so nobody else has to help carry it. As long as his father is focused on him, he’ll leave his brothers be, as long as he plays along with his father’s wishes for as much as he can bare, his father won’t punish him by harming people close to him. As long as he does not tell people about the things that are happening they are not implicated, they can just live their lives without worry. The kindest thing.. oof, I mean ppl are kind to him all the time cause they want in on the money and connections, so he does not trust a lot of it, or take it very seriously. Devin sticking around even after learning about his father and everything that is happening would be the one. Asher might not want it, but he’s definitely thankful for it, and it does save him. The worst thing is another wonderful painful thing to think about for Asher cause he sees so many terrible things he could list, but one is and will always be on top: Getting Adam killed. You could argue that it was his father, not Asher’s fault at all, but Asher would just counter with if Adam hadn’t known him, hadn’t been his boyfriend, he would not have died, so how could he not blame himself.

🌳 What does your OC do when they see others upset or in pain? An upset friend? A stranger?

That is extremely dependent on the situation. A lot of time he has to keep in mind who is there, what they will see, what his father might hear about it. If he can tell the problem is periodical, it will go away without his help, he will more often than not just ignore it. It’s not worth it, putting people on his father’s radar by associating with them. Most things people are going through are nothing compared to the things his father would do to them if Asher gave him any reason to believe they could be a useful tool to hurt or motivate him. People close to him, Devin or May, he would stay away from them in public, make it seem like he could not care less, and check in on them as soon as he has the opportunity to do so without witnesses. No wonder people think he is self-absorbed and cruel.

🌿 What is something true about your OC that they refuse to admit about themselves? Is there any reason to this besides embarrassment?

Anything positive probably. He is so deep down the rabbit-hole of hating himself for everything that has happened that he can’t accept the good things that are still there. That’s why he can’t understand Devin’s interest for the longest time, it makes him so angry to think he could see something worthwhile in him, he imagines it might just all be about the money. But Devin does eventually list a list of things that made him fall for him, one sounding more outlandish than the next to Asher’s ears. Most of all that Devin watches so carefully, he can see the stuff Asher tries to bury by being deliberately assholeish. He tells him how he can see his kindness, even when he tries to hide it, in the little things he does and hopes nobody notices, he sees how much he cares, that he tries to push for justice in the discussions he has with their teachers, he sees how big his heart is when he puts on an entirely different persona in front of his siblings.. and Asher cries out of relief of somebody seeing anything worthwhile in his character, but he still refuses to accept these things as true. Or more accurately, he argues them away, these things don’t count, most things, most accomplishments, don’t count for him, cause he either sees them as an act he puts on, or a direct result of the money and support he grew up with. That’s why he can’t stand the ‘gifted’ lable either, any talent he has he only has because he had all the resources of the world on his hands and a father at the back of his neck that did not allow him to be mediocre at anything. He does not quite see that only because you are expected to be extraordinary at something most people can’t just simply comply to that and actually succeed. But to him it’s all worth nothing.

🍃 Describe a regular day for your OC. What is their schedule (if they have one).          

His day has always been packed with activities and schoolwork, he’s very used to little free time, he is not exactly good at relaxing, or maybe he relaxes better by doing stuff than by doing nothing at this point. Being with Adam he had wrangled a bit more free time to be with him but he’s still very much overscheduled. So he has the art school classes, working on projects, learning, he has tutors for different languages, mainly mandarin at the moment, he goes to the shooting range, he has teachers for self-defense, he does not go to classes for instruments anymore but he still makes time to play, he goes to night school economics classes on the side, has to do the work and learning for that, he makes time for his siblings, time for the dance classes for the elderly he attends as a volunteering partner, he has clover, though she is well taken care of by the family’s staff, and any time in-between he probably fills with reading, or travelling to see exhibitions or concerts in other cities. There’s the social obligations of upper class people, socializing, fraternizing. Church on Sundays. And then there’s the times his father calls him in, demands him to be there, that can be as simple as business meetings, or dinner with some powerful allies, or turf war discussions with other crime families, or his father dealing out his punishment to the people that wronged him. And then recuperating from seeing people tortured and dying and suffering… Therapy. his plate is FULL. Which is not a bad thing, it keeps him occupied. He would simply not be able to do nothing, it would ruin him.

🍁 What is your OC’s most traumatic experience? (If they don’t have just one traumatic experience either pick one or describe them all!)

:) hooo boy, Asher has a whole portfolio of traumatic events, there are so many they start to become normal to him. He is surrounded by a lot of violence and psychological warfare. Of his father wanting to break him into becoming something he does not want to be. And when Asher refused his father’s orders too much he came up with a new way of disciplining him. Top of the list is of course seeing his boyfriend, love of his life, who he’s been with since they were practically children, tied to a chair, get shot and die, right next to him. By Asher’s father. As an direct answer to Asher’s behavior and educational measure, showing what happens when Asher disobeys. There’s not topping that, really. Maybe there is, but I refuse to.

🍄 How would your OC react to the death of a friend/family member/loved one? Is there anyone they can confide in?

:)) Godddd. Well, the one close death he’s been subjected to he has not really been allowed to deal with, no time for healing and grief. He did go to a clinic for a while after suffering a psychotic break down after what had happened. Asher tried for a while to tell the police what his father had done, even wrote to more distant police departments or investigators, only to always be redirected to his father till he had enough of Asher trying to rat him out and threatened sending Asher himself to prison for Adam’s murder, the staff at the clinic would gladly testify about Asher telling them about it, or threatened other people getting hurt if he kept trying to spread information. Officially, Adam ‘went missing’, the police covered it up, deduced he just ran away, queer kid from a somewhat small town, probably wanted to get away to the city. Asher and Adam’s family very much advocated against those findings, to no avail. He does not really have anybody to confide in. His therapist works for his father so he’s not very inclined to talk to him too truthfully. Other than that he has nobody he would share something like that with, cause he is too paranoid of his father finding out and tying up loose ends. Till now he’s pretty much just relied on numbing medication to get through the day, sleeping pills to get through the night. He has panic attacks and break downs and is irrational and aggressive, he is a mess, but he has no choice but to keep going. He has successfully pushed anybody away enough for them to either not care or leave him alone. I feel like, and Asher would hate that thought, anybody else dying, would almost feel like relief to him. One less person to be constantly scared for. One less reason to stay alive.

🌾 What would your OC be like if they were evil. Or if they’re already evil what would they be like as the good guy?

Evil Asher would be happy??? That’s really the ideal solution to all his problems. If he complied to his father, happily, to step into his footsteps and become his successor, he would not have a single problem. All of his trouble comes simply from him not being able to live with hurting other people. If he’d just be able to do that, no problem, he could just life his regular life at the side. So evil Asher would be soon-to-be crime boss, and good at it.

💐 How would your OC react to somebody telling them that they love them? (+ bonus give another characters/OC name!)

Nausea, doubt, refusal, panic. He does not want it, there is nothing good that comes from loving him, other than putting people in danger, when his father considers them as effective ways to threaten him. He hardly let’s other people say positive things about him, I love yous are definitely too much, he would probably be extra dickish the next couple of days, trying to scare you away more effectively. Devin definitely has been through that a couple of times, any time Asher lets him get a bit closer the next day he pushes him away twice as hard. Good thing Devin is persistent, as long as he knows Asher is just putting on an act because he is scared and hurt, he has no problem seeing past his behaviour.

🌷 What does your OC hate about themself? What lies about themself do they believe? On the flip side, What does your OC love about themself?

:))) It’s all shame and guilt and hatred. Even if he has good sides, they are either an act, or they are just useless? They do nothing for him, or for others. He’d rather be a bigger asshole, feel less, care less, and other people would be much safer.. well the regular civilians at least. He tries sometimes to convince himself, the people his father deals with, the ones he kills or punishes, they are in that situation for a reason, they dealt with the wrong people, they have made that deal knowing what could happen. Better to hurt them, than to hurt unsuspecting folks. But he just can’t justify hurting people, no matter who. So maybe what he hates the most about himself is his code of morality. He also hates thinking about his childhood, about admiring his father, before he knew about any of the crime. The lies he believes about himself are the ones he tells himself, about how terrible and unlovable he is, just a snobby rich kid with no redeeming qualities. He’d really have to dig deep to find anything he would actually consider lovable, I can’t quite come up with anything honestly. Jeez. Poor boy.

🥀 What is something your OC blames themselves for and is it really their fault? Does it keep them up at night and is there any lingering trauma?

Adam’s death, of course. Not that he has any control over his father’s actions, but he could have told Adam more about what was happening with his dad, so he could have made the informed decision of getting the hell out of there. He thinks about it all the time. His guilt, what he could have done differently, how he’s not allowed anything good anymore, cause Adam is somewhere rotting in a ditch and he is living, enjoying things? Impossible, not allowed.

🌺 In what situation would your OC be pushed to commit an act of violence? Would they go as far to kill someone if they had to? How would this affect them and their relationships with others?

:)))) He is constantly being pushed to commit acts of violence and he constantly refuses even though the consequences are hard. He does, however, finally, eventually, get pushed over the edge, when he’s once more facing the same situation, of the boy he loves sitting tied up in front of his father. He laughs about it sometimes, afterwards, the absurdity, the god-complex of his father, who really thought putting them in a room, giving Asher a weapon and telling him to kill his boyfriend would somehow not lead to his own death. So yeah, Asher does decide to kill his father. Thought the deciding part is not exactly an active choice, he blinks and is suddenly kneeling over his father’s perforated body. Which is probably the only way you could get Asher to kill someone, not by making him choose to consciously, but by giving him no other choice, for him to lose control and let his desperation take over. Devin tiptoes around Asher for a while, cause he’s just scared of what that did to him. He’s very attentive, looking for shock and trauma and anything he can help with.

🌸 What would your OC do if they were given god-like powers or the ability to change anything about the world for a whole day?

He would want to meet dead people, mostly artists, he admires. Have a chat with Van Gogh, meet Kurt Cobain, pick Hieronymus Bosch’s brain.. Just talk about creation and inspiration and their world views.

🌼 Describe one of your OC’s worst nightmares.

One of his loved ones dying because he was stupid enough to agree to be close to them, as secretly as they could, cause he should know better, his father has eyes and ears everywhere, how could he be so stupid and selfish. Alternatively his father finally giving up on converting Asher and trying to do the same to Gabriel, or Leo when he is older.

🌻 What advice would your OC give to their younger self? What advice does your OC need now?

Kill him NOW??? You will kill him eventually, just do it now. Safe Adam.  Right now, hm, probably something about sharing the burden. Talking to people, his family specifically, since they are involved some way or another anyways and might just be able to help, if only by having an open ear. But he’s a burned child, he is way way too scared of consequences to his actions now that he would want to take risks, even if they seem unlikely. Better safe than sorry.

[kylo-im-ren]

The Rise of the Fallen One & Reylo (excerpt)

Rey is not alone in the Dark!Rey scene.

This was first pointed out to me through this tweet from brehaorganas. Then @sillyrabbit36 did a lovely job of recoloring the footage to show it in greater detail in this post.

I went ahead and made some GIFs for visual aid.

In this shot (BOW DOWN TO YOUR QUEEN) it looks like there could be movement, or a figure before the screen pans over to Dark!Rey. That could also very well just be the way that the light and shadows move in the view of the camera.  The real evidence is in the following shot. The money shot.

(My ability to breathe? I don’t know her.)

I zoomed in for a better look, and I tried my best to brighten it without ruining the quality too much (fuzzy image below= proof I’m not a professional lol).

I’ve labled what I think it is that we are seeing. To me, in the bottom right it looks like dark/black clothing, maybe a cloak, or cape. Or maybe just dark pants. In the top right it looks like either a hand in dark, long sleeves, or a chin in a high turtleneck.  I’m leaning more towards it being a hand.

Now, let’s look at the movement of this mystery figure. It appears that whomever (or whatever) is there is backing away from Rey. And if we go with the hand theory, it looks like they are backing away with their hands up defensively. Below I’ve created an extremeley detailed and intricate artist rendition of what I believe happens here. I warn you, the artistic talent I posess has brought some to tears.

(As I was writing the final draft of this bit i came across this post by the amazing, ever talented @gwendy85 . The position of Ben and Rey in her art is so close to what I’m picturing! And a million times better than my stick people lol. Just wanted to give some quick promo to her. If you haven’t already, you guys should really check out her art and meta posts, you won’t be disappointed😊💜.)

So, who is this? Well, there are a few options. Let’s play one of my favorite games: The Process of Elimination.

Option 1: Palpatine Just the simple fact that the figure seems to be backing away from her tells me that it isn’t the Sheev man. If Rey does go dark, and this is real, and not a vision, I’m 99.9% sure that Palps will have something to do with it. So why would he be backing away from her? If anything, he’d be the one encouraging her. 

Option 2: Finn (my sweet boy) This is a more logical option, however, John is reported saying that he wasn’t there when Daisy wore her Dark!Rey fit. He said he was supposed to be there, but that was just for a visit, meaning his character was not invoved in the shooting of those scenes (I looked for the link for like 20 minutes and decided I’d rather get this out and edit the post later when I eventually find it.) Plus, the hand (or chin) doesn’t look like it’s been blessed with that melanin (teehee), so I’m thinking it’s pretty safe to assume not Finn. And without Finn being there, I don’t think any other resistance squad memeber would make sense. So I’m striking out Poe, Rose, or Jannah as options.

Option 3: Rey  Let me explain.This would fall in line with the theory that Dark!Rey is a vision that Rey has. (I go into further details about how this could go, and the pontential parallel between it and Lukes vision quest on Dagobah in the full meta.) This could be the moment where she is forced to literally face her inner demons. If this were the case though, the costume choice that makes the most sense, canonically and visually, would be for normal Rey to be in her normal clothes. Her pure white, flowing robes are a stark contrast to the dark figure we see backing away. 

“Maybe that’s just the shadows, it’s a dark room.”

That’s true. But if we go with the turtleneck or long sleeve idea, those are complete opposites to Rey’s v-neck and short sleeves. This makes me think that the mystery person is not Rey.

Option 4: An innocent It could be an innocent that she kills in her dark rage/possesion. Making this a scene to show how far gone she is. I highly HIGHLY doubt this option though.

Taking all of those out leaves me to believe that it can only be one person. One particular dark froce weilding, sad-boi, love-struck prince.

Option 5: Ben The clothes, if i’m picturing them correctly, match up perfectly with Ben’s attire at all times. Dark cloak/cape, maybe a black turtleneck (like we’ve seen in TFA), long dark sleeves. And, if this is Benny boy, what really intrigues me is that he is gloveless. The implications of that alone...

Sorry, I spaced out. I was fangirling.

ANnNywAy, let’s assume it is him. Now the question is:

Vision or Reality?

(I dive deeper into all of these theories in the full meta. I still can’t choose a side!)

While I still haven’t chosen a side (lol) at this point in time, I think I’ve narrowed my choices down to the Dark!Rey is real train or the Ben Vision Train.

If Dark!Rey is real, I feel that this could definitely be the moment where Ben goes to save her from Palpatine, and from herself. There have been several posts describing how this event could unfold.  If Dark!Rey is real, this could serve as a major catalyst for Bendemption. This tweet points out an amazing comparrison to this moment of Vader having a vision of Dark!Padme.

The most terrifying thing is seeing someone you love fall down the same dark path that you did, and having to watch them be consumed by it.

I think this feeling and reaction would be representitive of both real and vision Ben. If it’s real though, it could lead to a fight. The fight, however, would be completely onesided. He would refuse to strike her, talking to her the whole time, reasuring her of the people in her life that care for her, and that he cares for her. Telling her that she’s not alone anymore. She doesn’t have to do this, He knows this isn’t her. Pleading with her to come back to the light. To herself. To him.  He’d say he knows that there is still good in her, and that he believes in her. He tells her to use their bond to escape Palpatine’s control, or the firm hold of the Dark.

All of this sounding familiar? 

(I was so happy to see my fellow TFA Reylos were thinking the exact same thing I was with this.I love y’all. We all deserve a stiff drink and a foot rub 😭😂)

Now, if it’s a vision, I feel that the scene will be much shorter. I also believe that, again, if it is just a vision, It will be a reflection of what is already happening inside of Rey. She could actually go dark for awhile after this, just maybe not to the extent that we see in this scene. I don’t think that it is the same vision he saw in TLJ (although I definitely think that he saw something like this), I think this would be a new vision.

Something that caught my eye about the initial cut to Rey was the motion of the camera. 

The way that it swoops over to focus on her resembles someone whipping their head around in surprise.

You know what that reminds me of?

Rey even stumbles back after this. 

If vision is the way, I have a feeling it will be like the one Rey had in Maz’s castle in TFA when she touched the legacy saber. I actually think that this would be such a cool call back, and would be another amazing example of how these two characters mirror eachother. This vision could be brought on when he touches an object as well, or it could be in the form of a dream. Or it could be a vision brought on by Palpatine to tempt Ben. Or to scare him. Or-

Summary, there are so many ways that this can go. We have truly entered my favorite time over these past 4 years, The Hour of Speculation. And it’s the final hour! Everything wraps up after this...

 As much as that breaks my heart, I am so excited for the next few months. I can’t wait to ride this out with all of you, and to hear what amazing theories you freakin oracles come up with during the wait. Old and new Reylos, I LOVE YOU!

And may the force be with you always.💙❤️💜

And please share your own thoughts, I’d love to hear what you guys think!

@sushigirlali @jedisassafras @southsidestory @sanctuarytrin It’s not my full thoughts (not even close🤦🏽‍♀️😂), or a ficlet, but I promise all of those are coming soon! Hope you like my quick ramble, much love💙☺️

[solastia]

Dear Authornim | 1

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Word Count: 1,000

Summary: You’re a writer of BTS fanfiction. rockstarjin is your favorite reader that you’ve actually come to be friends with…and maybe had a bit of a crush on if you were honest. You’re up for quite the surprise.

Notes:  Hopefully you guys enjoy this lil fic. I will admit it was a bit cringy for me to write, because it feels so...I dunno. Kbooish I guess. But it was still super cute and I liked the idea of Jin freaking out over the crazy stuff we write about him, so here we are. 

BTW, if you have the same username as either of them, I apologize. There are only so many ways you can pun his name lol. It was an unintentional copy if it is. Commissioned by @kimseokmomjins

The dorm was silent enough when he got home that Seokjin thought he might actually be alone for once until he heard soft giggles coming from the living room. Sounds like that coming from his members usually meant trouble, so he silently walked towards the sounds, peeking over the wall towards the couch. 

Jimin and Taehyung were both reading from a tablet in Taehyung’s hands, whispering and occasionally giggling over whatever they were looking at. Curious, Jin walked behind the couch and peered over Jimin’s shoulder. 

Jin slowly scanned the words, his eyes growing larger the more he read. 

Seokjin growled and grabbed her ankle, pulling her towards him. “Now, you’re going to be a good girl and do whatever I ask, aren’t you?” Y/N shivered and arched her back, trying to get closer to him. “Yes sir,” she purred, licking her lips in anticipation. Seokjin’s grin was feral as he caged her in...

“What in the hell are you reading?” he bellowed, his face practically crimson he was so embarrassed. 

Both of the boys jumped and whirled around, smiling guiltily. 

“Hyung, you’re back early! We were just...um...reading?” 

“I gathered that much. It looked like filth about me. Why would you even read that?” 

Jimin shrugged. “Taehyung and I always read the fanfics. Mostly the ones about each other, but this is one is really popular right now.” 

“It’s not weird for you to read about us fucking each other? Are you serious?” 

“Not really. I mean, it’s not really us, it’s just a story. Well, maybe except for Jungkook and his Namgi sandwich. I’m almost certain that’s real, I just need to catch them,” Taehyung smirked and waved the tablet around. 

“Besides, this one isn’t about you fucking one of us. It’s you with a “reader.” Although, really reader inserts are just original characters whose names you can change. It’s really good, hyung. Basically, you’re a director and she’s a new actress. You keep having to scold her because she can’t get the sex scene right, and then you find out it’s because she’s never had sex before. So you have to teach her,” Jimin’s grin was teasing as Jin sputtered in his embarrassment. 

Both of the brats were giggling as Jin fought to regain his composure. The mere thought that these kids were reading about his...parts...going anywhere near other people was mortifying. 

“This author is really good though, hyung, and doesn’t just write smut. Her most popular one is about you being in the army and saving the reader’s village. It’s a forbidden love story, really good. I cried,” Taehyung sighed and wiped a fake tear. “She also only writes about you. None of the rest of us. You should read something. She really does you justice.” 

“Thank you, I’ll pass. And if you guys could at least cease reading about me, I would appreciate it.” 

The two shared a look that Jin knew from years of experience meant neither of them had any plans to stop. He sighed wearily and started heading towards his room. 

“Hyung!” Taehyung bellowed down the hall. “Her name is revolujin if you want to check her out!” 

Jin scoffed as he entered his room and made a show of closing it softly, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of slamming the door like he wanted. 

As if he would ever stoop so low as to read fanfiction. 

***

He lasted a whole half hour before his curiosity won and he looked up the author. His eyebrows rose as he looked over their profile. There were over a hundred stories and, sure enough, all of them were featuring him as the main character. There were perhaps a handful of him being paired with the other members. He skipped past those, instead glancing through the summaries of the ones featuring him and some random original character or whatever Y/N was.

The one he finally settled on was something she’d labled a “Noir Au.” Apparently, he a detective and the reader was a damsel in distress looking for help to find her missing father. A classic plot, he muses as he settles further into his bed to read a little bit. 

A little bit turned into four hours, as he had been so engrossed in the story that he hadn’t even realized it was midnight and he’d missed dinner. He groaned and stretched, placing his tablet onto his nightstand before getting up. He shuffled towards the kitchen, hoping that everyone was asleep because he was sure what he had just been doing was written all over his face. 

He fixed himself a simple meal of a couple of sandwiches and some leftover soup, sitting at the dining room table that was blessedly free of any other members. He guessed most of them were in bed by now, except for maybe Yoongi and Namjoon who had been staying in their studios longer and longer the closer they got to comeback season. 

As he ate, he thought about the story he’d just read, which admittedly was amazing. It was a cliche plot but written beautifully. She could be a professional if she wasn’t already. The character of...well...him, had been scarily accurate at times. Almost like she knew him. Or was just a very observant fan, he supposes. The sex parts were still a little hard to read; just thinking about some person out there imagining and writing down the way he would do it was freaking weird sometimes. And while he didn’t mind a little kink here and there, he was more inclined to be tied up himself than throw someone else around like she wrote. 

He shook his head and cleaned his dishes when he was done eating, sleepily heading back to his room. He snuggled in and vowed to never bother reading another fanfiction story of himself again. It was fun, but not really his thing.

[tinkachu000]

when it comes to fiction versus reality one thing is always strikingly similar in stories against it. you always have those adults who are being creeps using said fiction to get closer to adults. yes this is terrible, its god awful, its abhorrent. however this isnt a black and white scale, NOTHING-- ON THIS PLANET-- is black and white. so while there are some adults who would use this to get closer to young ones. there are houndreds of thousands of adults who just want to do their thing. who would HATE for their works to be used in such a mannor because its just out there for them to yknow, either tell a story of shit that really happens, or just for the fuck of it. 

you wouldnt say someone who writes murders or draws graphic gore to be a murderer or a cannible someone sick and twisted. no thats dark edgy and cool. but youre so QUICK to just lable anyone as dangerous if they draw a fictional character in any kind of sexual situation. do you understand how insanely headass that sounds? both of which those things could effect children negatively if they see it without the proper knowledge to understand it! this is why we have RATINGS on things.

If there is an adult who is doing nsfw content REGARDLESS of what the hell it intails, and it doesnt involve real people or the likeness of them, they arent trying to go anywhere near young children with their content, and in fact have all the proper warnings CLEAR AS DAY. Just. leave. them. alone? theyre doing their thing, in their space, that they created for them and the people of the like who like it. understand it. can process it. and it wont affect them negatively.

What it seems people dont get is that all these youngins say oh well I CAN HANDLE IT and go in there anyways then want to cry to mommy and daddy how they’re scared for life. at that point? its not that adults problem (unless of course they showed it to them or tried to introduce it do them or had ANY influence in giving them that content) im sorry to say ITS LITTLE TIMMYS FAULT. YOU SHOULDNT HAVE GONE INTO AN ADULT SPACE. PERIOD. thats SIMPLE FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS. if it says 18 plus, uhm if you arent 18, DONT GO IN THERE.

AND YOU, ADULTS, who are of age!!! if you see someone doing something in their space. take the stick out of your ass and dont take that NSFW, possibly TRIGGERING content and PUT IT OUT THERE FOR THE YOUNG ONES TO SEE. ITS BEHIND A LOCKED ACCOUNT, PRIVATER, WARNING, ECT for a GOOD GOD DAMNED REASON. it only makes me think youre the creepy as hell one for even introducing that shit to them like HOW DARE YOU on so many levels for thinking a) god gave you the RIGHT to judge people and who one should cast a stone to b) showing minors inappropriate content c) in the end rallying a league of people to bully someone who was midning their own business and most likely. and heres the kicker...

isn’t a threat. they just aren’t. 

people have weird shit they are into. i know, a lot of it is bad, awful, gross, whatever. ive seen it. ive seen it since i was a minor myself. i did things i wasn’t suppose to do sure. but it didnt bother me, i knew that it was fake. some people dont feel that way and THATS OKAY. block, mute, whatever that person. make your space safe. hell distance yourself from those people. be happy. Just dont act like you’re somehow jesus and you decide who and what this person is based on...something that’s not real.

fiction does affect reality, but we as humans have many ways to decide just how much it affects us and others. we take care of ourselves as well as others. it isnt some random dude in wisconsins job to worry about what your kid sees online. its their parents. however that random dude is also held responsible for not putting things in spaces not meant for that kid as well. and with adult sites going away because people think everyone should be a puritain thats getting harder. people are doing their best to tag and warn and keep people out but for some reason.

people keep going into those spaces, and sharing it for the whole world to see. sure its the internet, the whole world can see it, but that doesn’t mean they absolutely had to. they chose to. and if you so choose to do something that harms you?? thats nobodys problem but your own. point blank. pretend this is the road, the lines are so clear, stay in your lane. and when someones words and actions start crossing those lines.

then. and only then. do i think you should raise action. make sure the people who are EVIL get their just punishment. not the person who had nothing to do with it other than creating something most likely *not* for whoever it was shown to.

that’s all i, this stuff is so tiring. this conversation goes on and no ones going to win because no one is going to try to see eye to eye when really if everyone just minded their peace, stopped bullying people, and just kept themselves safe in their space. they’d be happy. you’re not saving the world by taking out small artists. not when people in hollywood will sell you for sex in a minute no matter who you are. or there is legit trafficking out there that needs to be stopped. you guys think that since these people are seemingly in your reach youre doing something good but you’re not. you arent. you are ruining someone elses life and damaging them in irreverable ways, and you dont even care. thats another got damned human being and you dont care what happens to them because you ASSUME that they condone the content they produce. when thats the farthest from the truth. its disgusting and it just makes me sad. 

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

The Great Lie that is "Representation"

I'll get hell for posting this but really I don't care, it needs to be said.

Representation as a term in modern times is a husk of itself. It's used by progressives and activists to basically harass companies into making characters who are place holders for their "identities" or "situations". But often times that results in poor story telling and even worse characters. Representation as a word means, "The action of speaking or acting on behalf of someone or the state of being so represented." So more or less you use one or more characters to broadly represent everyone who is like what the people are demanding.

But what is it that makes it a lie? Well the notion is that if a character does not proactively line up with people want, then it's not representation. This however is the root of The Great Lie. Let's take LGBT as a starter shall we. There is no real consensus as to what proper gay representation is. For most modern activists, it's a character who loudly announces how gay they are, makes out with the same sex many times in said story and has no real character traits beyond being gay.

They however would likely deny this but objectively it's true. But I'll go a step further and tell you why this kind of representation is a lie, and why is also somewhat harmful. It seeks to turn LGBT into a caricature of what activists perceive it as. Fact is, there is nothing insane about being gay. And it's common in this day and age. But with this said let me get down to brass tax here.

- LGBT individuals make up between 5%-7% of the whole world population at most

- Just like being strait there is no one way to be gay (in regards to personality traits)

- If being gay is relatively normal why do we always need a spotlight on it?

Now some of you reading this might be rather offended...... But I don't really care. However my points warrant explanation.

Because of this insanely low number, it should not be a shock when a gay character is not front row and center in any given medium. With that being said there is this pervasive "belief" that if a character does not explicitly state that they are gay or make out with someone of the same sex that somehow they are not gay enough, or as I'd often hear it put, "not real representation". But see there is a unique issue with that. There are plenty of charters in different mediums that are important, but don't have love interests or state their sexual orientation, so it's perceived that they are strait. Even if it's never implied. And this is why I disagree with what modern representation tries to accomplish. It seeks to put a lable on everyone. It seeks to place them all in neat little boxes. Why? Because these activists, are actually fighting for conformity to their version of reality. A version where people can't be individuals. A version where they are only one dimensional.

And that is why I hate modern "representation". Because you can't represent an entire group by fitting them into a neat little box. As is the world around us, a person is, and will always be more than single parts that make them up. Skin color, sexual orientation, hair color, likes, dislikes, voice, body size, etc. We are more than the sum of our parts. And not too long ago that was understood as a progressive view point.

Representation is no simple thing. And it is much more than a showcase of sexuality, or skin color. Because no matter who you are, who you like, where you come from, you exist as you. And only you can represent yourself. Grant you, yes a character can also represent a set of ideas by embodying them, but can never be a full expression of everyone who has those ideas.

[totaldilfiam]

If John Lennon had survived (pt.3/?)

The way my schedule goes means that this will be my last chapter this week and I should be back Monday. Thanks!

“So, John, what do you think about adopting?” A long pause followed. The quiet whisper of John licking his lips made me shiver. It almost felt awkward to lay in bed with John without jokes, laughter, touching, or anything like that. My eyes suddenly got heavy like a big warm blanket being thrown at someone. I just turned around to face the wall with my bottom against John’s crotch. What a relief.  He wasn’t hard. I was too tired for having some fun. Suddenly John broke the silence while stroking my hair, then my eyes ,and back to my hair.

        “Paul, I’d love to but... Wouldn’t it be odd with our kids in their twenties already and just the fact that we’re queer?” queer? Queer. Queer... It was a word used in the U.K for decade, and it was still being used. I never thought of me and John that way. I never labled us; we were just lovers.

         “Well, now that you say it, I guess you’re right,” I hadn’t meant to, but I made my sad face. Usually I used it on purpose to get my way. It was quite simple. Pout my lip out a little, look to the side, make my cheeks look a little chubbier, and make my eyes look slightly larger. 

           “We should think about it more. Paul, I love you,” John looked at me and made his silly face he always did to a camera. He just looked at me for a while, thinking as he always did. After maybe two silent minutes he whispered little quips in my right ear. He reached his hand over to my lower abdomen and started feeling and rubbing calmly. He loved feeling me. Not sexually - well, he liked that- but more lovingly, protectively almost. I wasn’t the submissive one though. Neither was John. We just did as we pleased.

             John signaled me to turn around to face him. He traced his hand down my back and viciously grabbed my bottom. I let out a deep sigh to let him know that I wasn’t in the mood.

             “What’s wrong, Paulie. Princess? Darling?” I was too tired to respond.

                                                  ..........................

When I woke up, I got ready first. Not usually something I did, but Sean was here, I didn’t want him to feel awkward. As I walked out to the kitchen the smell of fresh muffins aroused my nose. John glanced over at me looking up from the t.v. 

               “Where’s Sean?” I whispered. All he did was point at the guest bedroom and mouthed, “sleeping” at me. He then signaled for me to come sit next to him on the sofa, which I obeyed. The second I sat down John decided to stick his tongue my throught sloppily. I wasn’t shocked, he was just joking around. 

                 “John,” I harshly whispered, “You’ll wake Sean,” Of coarse, John was quick to respond.

                  “Your loud talking is what’ll wake Sean,” He said in his normal talking voice. To which I giggled at because it was louder than I had spoken before. Way louder.

                   We sat there passionately kissing, forgetting of Sean’s presence in the bedroom just down the hall. Quite an odd place for a guest room if you ask me. Our house was massive. Not as large as George’s, but it was huge. We had filled five big bedrooms upstairs with books, instruments, and artworks just because we had the room.

                     Somehow I ended up sitting on John’s lap, trailing my fingers down his chest to his thighs. We had ended the kiss scared we might wake Sean with random, unnecessary moaning, which we always did. John whispered some new song to me that he had written only a verse to, but he kept it fresh by trying different singing styles on it.

Hey there with those young eyes

they don’t really match your age

but neither do your thighs~

I just giggled at the lyrics. John started playfully pecking my face with every new verse he came up with. But, it all came to an end after I discreetly hit John’s shoulder signifying that Sean had just walked out to him trailing light kisses all over my face as I trailed my fingers over his sexy dad body, all while I sat in his lap.

                       “Did ya have a good morning Sean? Because I sure did.” 

[flaggerx]

The Not-So-Great Society

Hey my Fellow White People. Have you seen the TV lately, the huge crowds around the White House, the site of Congressmen maced for no reason, reporters arrested for no reason, old men shoved to the ground and abandoned with skull fractures. Noticed that the demonstrations are taking place in almost every towns and in fact, have touched off demonstrations in Europe, in part because racism is not an exclusive to Americans.

But racism is real. No denying that now that we saw George Floyd murdered on that street by cops who saw him die and just didn't care. Or about EMT Brianna Taylor, shot to death in her own bed by cops making a no-knock arrest. We've been watching this movie since we watched Rodney King take a major beat-down in 1992. That's almost thirty years ago, with story after story of some unarmed black guy killed by the police. He ever heard of Amadur Diallo sodomized with broomstick in a New York City police station. Black men been killed for selling cigarettes. They've been shot for reaching for their wallet. Really, they've been shot for being black.

That's right, shot for being black. I mean, have you ever had to tell your kids what to do if they are pulled over or searched by the police? Have you ever had to have that 'talk'. We teach our kids that if they need help to Call the police. We trust they'll treat us fairly. And usually they do. Black parents can't do that.

That, my friends, is white privilege. We don't get pulled over for driving a nice car because someone who looks like us is supposed to drive a nice car. But if your LeVar Burton from Star Trek you get used to getting pulled over for driving a Bimmer then asked for your autograph when the cop turns out to be Trek fan. You have to learn to laugh it off. And you have to give your kids the talk.

Racism is real. If we've learned anything over the past few weeks we ought to have learned that our dreams of a “post-racial America” were as big a fantasy as anything Tolkien ever wrote. We are not a post-racial society, we are racist society. And that means you and me.

Yes, I know. You (hopefully) never joined the Ku Klux Klan or burned a cross. You don't hate black people. You hope they do well, really. But that's up to them. And that's where your thinking stops. But you may not actually know any, and you may never have listened to any. You may know a couple, but have you ever invited them over. Have you ever talked about race?

Because it's real. I mean, there are people who can pass as something else, but for the most part it's more obvious than gender. And most of us have some sot of prejudice. Maybe all of us, which means that being racist doesn't mean you're evil. (unless you are a cross burner). It means your human, full of foibles and weaknesses like the rest of us. And we can work on our weaknesses, but as any shrink'll tell you first, you must acknowledge they exist

And here's another thing, we have the policing we want! That's right, we wanted this. Oh, maybe we didn't want to watch George Floyd unable to breathe, but for the paste forty years our political system has been calling for exactly the kind of cops that killed him. We declared “war on crime” and “war on drugs” and we wanted aggressive warrior police, whose idea of a good day at work is to rack up a bunch of arrests, write more tickets and be a go getter who will get the bad guys. Really, America has been hoping for T.J. Hooker.

The intellectual backing for all of this what Criminologists call Deterrence Theory. The idea is that crimes have a certain benefit, therefore punishment must be stern enough to keep people from committing them. It fits well with the fundamental idea that only the Fear of God keeps people moral. Deterrence Theory has some advantages, it's simple, easily understood and makes intuitive sense. It really does a good job of explaining why honest people stay honest. The reason I don't drive ninety five-- deterrence theory. It works really well for people who have something to lose, which is most of us. I have a house, a good job, a cat, I mean why in the world would I want to put that at risk? I'm not twenty-two and feeling any need to impress any hot chicks, so deterrence theory works pretty well for me, and probably for you. But the problem with deterrence theory is if a little of it is good, more is not necessarily better.

And that's the theory that has dominated American political thinking for the past forty years. We wanted a “war on crime”. We wanted politicians who were “tough on crime”. Judicial races at the state and local level well all about 'toughness” and having a judge with “the strength to apply the death penalty”. Try being a politician who argues that maybe we should try another way and they are and were, labled “weak on crime” and very often lost the next election. And that's the idea behind laws with a mandatory minimum sentence. That's the idea behind “three strikes and your out” laws. The old maxim “don't do the crime if you can't afford to do the time” was all over the place, with the idea that if only we made the laws tough enough criminals would choose to go straight.

Problem is that really didn't work, because if a little deterrence is good more really doesn't make a bit of difference. It just locks people up for a lot longer. The reasons for this are complex, but let me list a few. First of all, crime isn't exactly characterized by a lot of thought. Many crimes, those we deem “crimes of passion” are characterized by no thinking at all. Yet Deterrence theory would have you think that criminals performed some sort of mental calculus of the expected profit of the crime divided by the probability of being caught times the sentence multiplier. Criminals are rarely mathematicians. And when you think about it the difference between a four and a twenty year sentence is sort of abstract. Yes we can all say the sentence is five times longer. But does it really look that way in an act of criminal calculus? One year is a really long time. And no matter what you're likely beaten up and/or raped along the way. Prison is a thing to be avoided, so if you get that you probably won't commit crimes.

Unless you're Ted Bundy or Roger Stone and think you can get away with anything.

And the thing is when you're a criminal sometimes the term “sentence” is the LAST thing on a criminal's mind even when the sentence might include “death”. Any objective reading of the statistics between death penalty and non-death penalty states is that death deters no one at all. People are just as likely to murder when they can be killed for it and that was true before finding a humane way to off someone became very difficult to do. The Utah State Rifleers who executed Gay Gilmore didn't deter him. He did what he did because he had to do it.

Like drug addicts. Any medical professional will tell you that addiction is a chronic long-term condition not a sign of weak character. Take a heroin addict, and I've known a couple. They're nice most of the time until dope sick begins and then they will rob and steal because the only thing that matters in the whole wide world is not being dope sick any more. Addicts prostitute themselves, rob and steal, and deal in order to support their habit. They don't do it because they're bad people, they do it because they're addicts.

And that leads us to the second part of the traditional American approach to crime. There are Good People, who obey the Law, and Bad People who Don't.

The problem with this is it isn't effing true. True there are people who would leave a $100 bill lying on a sidewalk because it isn't theres. Not many, but they exist. As do sociopaths for whom the only thing that actually matters is their own personal gratification. But the rest of us are Somewhere in the Middle, and you know what makes the difference? How much money you have.

Yeah, it's true. Why steal if your wallet's full of money? Oh a few people do it for thrill-seeking, but again people with money don't steal. They spend. It's when you don't have money to spend that that $100 bill slips to picking any coins you find. And a lot of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. For a lot of Americans the car breaking down is a disaster, while for some it is an inconvenience. And they're usually the people driving the cars most likely to break down.

Employee theft is the biggest single problem in retail, for the simple reason that retail pays like crap. Many are near minimum wage workers who may have to hold multiple jobs to pay their bills. So think about working sixty or seventy hours a week and every time you put a little bit of money ahead you need glasses or the car breaks down, or if you have kids, they need something, and you can't really supervise them because you're working seventy hours a week and can't afford good day care.

That's how almost half of America lives. Don't think so? Read Barbara Eherenreich's Nickle and Dimed. Learn how the Lunch Counter Lady struggles to get by every single day of her life. Now look at her seventeen year old kid, who has had hand-me-down clothing most of his life except for a couple items, (say sneakers), who is a bit angry and has never met anyone but authority figures with a real stake in society.

Now lets make him that kid black. If we have learned one thing from the heavy black body count is that black people scare white Americans. If a politician wants to scare you on crime, he will always put up a picture of a mean looking black male. Always, like Ronald Reagan did with Willie Horton. Learn your campaign history, in American politics nobody is scarier than a black man.

We have learned that you can get pulled over for Driving While Black. Brianna Taylor was killed for Sleeping While Black. Or you can die for Jogging while Black as we have seen. Or get threatened for Birding while Black. Note I haven't had to go very far back for examples of all this. And the truth is Law Enforcement treats Black kids differently than they do white kids. White kids don't get racially profiled.

And how would you feel if some cop pulled you over for no reason whatsoever, just to question you and to remind you that he has Power and you do not. Please don't tell me you won't bitch about. Now make it the fourth time and you have a young man who is just plain sick of it. Can you see the problems there?

Cops think that black people are more likely to commit crimes. Of course poor people are more likely to commit crimes and that's because they're poor. A rich white kid is likely to get off because his parents can afford good legal representation that the poor black kid can't and because they'll assume it's youthful folly, which all of us have engaged in to one extent or another. But if it's a black kid the very same cop is likely to assume that this is the beginning of a long career and he had better come down hard now so the kid knows he's in for a world of hurt.

And now our somewhat pissed off poor black kid has a criminal record. Now he is a Bad Guy. And if it was serious, he has a felony and a whole lot of career paths were just cut off. Now he's likely to stay poor because he lost his temper in the face of what was real bullshit.

Or maybe, because he's poor and because when he looks around the only homeboys who have any money are dealers. Ever seen Boys in the Hood? Yeah, it's fiction, but sometimes fiction can tell the truth more clearly and faithfully than dry statistics. Who has the money? Not Mom and Dad because if they did you wouldn't be living in the Hood. It's the dealers, the bangers and they come around looking for you, trying to make sure if You're In, or mess you up If you're Not.

And that takes us to the next part of American Jurisprudence. The Drug Laws are racist. If you want to argue otherwise then please explain why the penalties for crack cocaine, which affects primarily colored neighborhoods are so much more severe than for powdered cocaine, the drug of choice for rich white folks like Robin Williams (Cocaine addiction is a sign you're making too much money). To be fair, I don't think they were intended that way by many of the people who voted for them, but at the end of the day if they act in a racist way the question is entirely academic. Cops bust everyone for drugs, but the street dealers can be white, but often are not, and they get long mandatory sentences that takes them out of circulation for years. Which is perfect if you think they are Bad People, incapable of functioning in society.

I see them as functioning well, given where they started. Not every kid has professional parents like I did. Not every kid is born with a house full of books, ate a balanced diet for their entire life. Not every boy grows up surrounded by people who live in nice houses, eat steak regularly, have parents who always give them a straight answer or had a Mom who could be home for them when they were little. I always knew a kid could make it because my life is full of people who live good lives. Kids who grow up poor often don't have those role models, and maybe even don't have a Dad because Dad is in jail for dealing. And when the people who have money all operate outside the Law it makes sense to do that yourself.

So really, we as white Americans, the most privileged people on the face of the Earth, are screwing ti up for others. Black Americans didn't come her out of free will, like our ancestors did. They were taken here in chains by our ancestors, and so we are responsible for them being here. They are our fellow citizens with the same right to America's bounty and opportunity as anyone. But our theory of justice, our assumptions as a society have led to them being more likely to die for the color of our skin. And that is simply unacceptable. It violates every precept of the Declaration of Independence, every bit of what we say America stands for. We cannot paper this over or just tweak the system.

We need a different type of cop. We don't need to count busts or seek out men eager to jump into the “battlespace”. We need conciliators, listeners because we ask cops to be social workers far to often.

We need social workers and we need to value them, not look at the people who need them as being 'weak” or lazy. We are often contemptuous of those who are addicts or have other issues. Instead we need to see them as partners in creating a just society. We ask cops to do everything from write tickets to talk people out of jumping off buildings. They see is when we're bleeding from car accidents and console people whose children have been gunned down. They chase down and catch murderers. We need to stop idolizing the “hero cop” who charges into the building and honor more the guy who can calm the angry drunk. I'n not sure how to get from here to there, but where we are has failed. We need to realize that real economic opportunity must exist at the bottom for it to exist anywhere. We need to change at a fundamental level. We need to hold police accountable for their actions and we need police who will hold each other accountable. We cannot go on as we are. There are too many dead bodies, too many brown bodies locked away, to many struggling just to live for America to be a just society.

[strawberryspeachy]

Also im sick of obnoxious japanese eaters

Things ive found out are myths here

1) everyones nice.

No. Everyone smiles hard to cover up whatever assholery theyre doing - if theyre supposed to be nice to you. Public people are the same as usual... except theres alot more shoving

2) everything about school

They don’t pay for school. Its free. Just like ours. Except private school. Just like ours

They are not MORE overworked in school nor do they study more. Their rules are much loser. And just like the states, teachers have no real authority- but unlike the states - the students do not fear repercussions. They can be touched though but thats more because japanese people think its fine to touch each other a lot - ya know. Just dont hug as an adult - but all other invading of some kind of private bubble is fine

3) SLURPING No thats not just a “it shows you love the food!” Bs. Just like the states, the people you hear disgustingly slurping just eat loud and are gross... imo... people here dont seem to think its gross but far more people eat like civilized humans and dont slurp everything from solids to actual liquids.

K like every time the past two days ive had to be near people slurping their fucking food and as a person who HATES hearing people eat... its why im bitching here. LETTUCE DOES NOT NEED SLURPED

4) just anything they call “culture” they used a pretty word to cover for “thats just the dumb thing we do here” its literally like if we said aggressively speed driving and cutting people off is new yorkers culture

Japan has a lot of history and traditions. But mostly they have a lot of bs that theyre just too stubborn to acknowledge and change so they lable it culture. Any changes they make are pretty much like when my great grandmother got a cell phone.

She only turned it on to charge it and make a phone call - leave a voicemail saying that she called - and then would turn it back off. It wasnt ever even on long enough for her to need to charge it.

But in her mind no one could complain that she didnt have one. And the only emergency in her mind was her needing to call you - not vice versa. She wouldnt use it for any other purpose and generally resented its existence. She hated watching anyone else use their cell phones to check the time or take pictures or play games or have lenthy conversations.

Yea. Thats basiclly japan with everything new. They have it. But they dont use it , and its possibilities scare them so the old ppl say its not allowed to be used unless the old people need to use it

Sorry man i hate everywhere i am. My aparment is next to a bar that looks permanently closed during the day. I had no clue it was there till after i moved in and the loud karaoke blared into my window every damn night

My train line is a nightmare and if you wanna see the worst japanese people can be. Ride the train during rush hours

My post office is far away and they refuse to ring my doorbell when i have a delivery and instead just leave slip - if you dont hike over in their made up time period they throw your stuff away

No one will actually help you with serious stuff. They just smile and say sorry and run away — customer service. Yea. Not customer service. They could just as easily be a manican with a smiley face - itd serve the same purpose.

Theres too much paperwork constantly all the time about everything

Nothing is online

Another thing that prompted me for this “this is japanese chocolate”

Cool. I got that its japanese. Im in japan. Everything people point out for me “its japanese____” fucking imagine if we felt the need to point out every damn item as “american” in the states. Why? What is the meaning of this?

They gave me a table to sit at at this school. A table. That they make lunch on and put all their supplies on. A dude just kicked my chair as he came over for some shit. Why am i sitting at a table? Very very few japanese people ive worked with dont make me feel like an adopted pet dog that theyre not sure if itll bite. Dog. Not new person. They literlly have the children fetch me...

And ive grown so so very tired of being asked questions with the intention of having me overhype japan while maintaining that im so stupid that i know absolutely nothing about the country

98% of japanese people assume that you think of japan like youve never even heard of their country before arriving and that you just arrived two days ago

Also. Maybe they think their test scores and clases are so much more difficult because they cant seem to fathom that most other countries schools function the same way as theirs

Yesterday a teacher said “ah theyre so overworked. They have alot to remember” i thought she was about to tell me how many units were on their exam or something... no “english, japanese, science, math, history, pe, food class, art! Too many things. Theyre very overworked”

..... are you for real? Im pretty sure every fucking school has those subjects if you switch out japanese for the countries native language.... this is NORMAL

Im sorry. I know the reason anyone talking to me like this might not like me. Cause im not gonna go WOWWW SUGEII?!?!? So much stuff!! Poor them!

No. Yeah? Thats school...

Look im not an asshole to my kids. If they can manage to tell me any information about their life in english or simple japanese i can translate - i act surprised/ or am if their english is super good.

But adults... no man. Learn some stuff about the outside world. Youre not specifical

Also dating boys here is just like back home except they wont block you and they respond less

Instead of getting “nice” “oh” “idk” and “maybe” as there fading messages - they just leave you on read. Or give you some random information that you didnt ask about that has no relevance to the ‘convo’

Also also. “Speak slow” they dont say this in a ‘my english is not good so speak slower’ way. They say this in a ‘i felt really good about my english until you spoke at a normal pace and my classes and ass-kissing white dudes have taught me that enlgish is spoken slow and percisely so if you dont speak with a japanese accent, your fast english is wrong’

Whatever but like... could you return the favor by speaking japanese slowly. Speak it the way you want me to speak english....

Telling them to speak slow results in something like

... nihon..de〜 nan mabdnshsnabsjsnjsbshssnbsjsbsjshsh ka?

Woah ok... something in Japan... couldnt catch the rest of that

Id be more understanding of this. Its hard to speak slow. Lets both acknowledge this and not - teachers compalining to principals and boys... (1) sending me a fucking video on how to speak my own damn language properly

Also. Do you know how upsetting it is to listen to a student say something perfectly but before i get to praise them - have the japanese teacher jump in and “correct” them...... no no dude please. I know youll have a fucking meltdown if i say no your ways wrong. But now this student is so confused desperately staring at me positive theyre correct and all ive come up with to do is smiling and nodding at them while repeating the way they said hoping the japanese teacher wont notice/get offended

Also togo food... if its not american fast food... generally you cant take it to go... its sad. I have no friends. I just wanna take this home to eat in front of my tv. This isnt serious. Its just a minior inconvenience

Also joking... my japanese isnt good enough to joke. And... idk how... cant explain. The other day a student asked whats my favorite food

And another went hamburger?!? Mcdonalds!!?

I wanted to comment.. but. At least elementary students understand sarcasm. Their teachers dont. And whether the middle schoolers understand and just dont care is up in the air.

Oh! And. I was right last week when i didnt trust my teachers saying that the obvious bullying was just a misunderstanding and the obvious targets fault. Another straight up teacher said some kids have left the school because of bullying and theyre really awful when left alone in the rooms... i told him thats why we cant go unsupervised in america. Japan says the students are just perfect upstanding citizens, so much more caring and mature than other students. Nope. Middle schoolers will be middle schoolers no matter what country.

[tinatuna19]

While drawing for both Luna Nova Zine and also my love Symphogear fan comics, I turned on Youtube and let it took me on a ride under their recommendations. I came across Digibro After Dark’s talk on “Whaddya Mean, Euphonium's Not Gay??” video and it made me want to react something about Hibike! Euphonium. This writing is by no mean to criticize what is right or wrong in Digibro’s perspective of the show, nor is it intended to show you a-never-seen-before-breakthrough discovery of what Hibike! Euphonium is about (since there are already SO MANY  amazing writings out there). This is simply a reaction, which I find the need to record somewhere about the theme of adolescence.

During Seaons 2, I tried to start a fancomic in attempt to describe the emotional state of Kumiko felt standing in between Natsuki-Asuka conflict. It was supposed to be a clear expression of Kumiko, while she enjoys playing euphonium and chasing after its beauty, suddenly stopped between them. As much as Natsuki wanted to join the band, she was constantly rejected by Asuka. It showed that there are other reasons for taking you away from the enjoyment of playing the instrument you love, externally by the person who you admire and trust. Kumiko eventually realized her euphonium disappeared from her hands and unable to find it. Later, she saw Reina (in Yukata) was calling out Kumiko’s name trying to look for her. Kumiko responded but Reina never realized Kumiko’s presence. In the end of it, Reina whispered sadly: “I thought we are supposed to go to the Nationals together...” This prompted Kumiko to wake up from her sleep in sweats and fear. She turned to Reina who was sleeping soundly next to her and remembered they are at school camping. Kumiko thougth about her dream, and thought, without euphonium, will she still be acknowledged by Reina. The fancomic is never finished for one reason - it feels too much like an intentional shipping and it doesn’t feel right. 

I lost the feeling to complete this fancomic and drown myself in the entire fandom waiting to see what will happen in the next episode. We were all caught up emotionally by the uncertainties and possibilities. Just how real of a romantic relationship can happen between Kumiko and Reina? Will Shuichi gave her the pin? Will Reina confess? Why is Reina so up and close to Kumiko’s gorgeous face? All these jaw dropping scenes! Is Kyoani really queerbaiting? Digibro voiced his confusion in his video (and by the way he also clearly stated it wasn’t queerbaiting in his other clip which made sense, check it out if you are interested), and one of his biggest statement is that it’s so obvious that Reina and Kumiko’s reactions are ‘romantic’ but the show wasn’t intended to be yuri, but showing adolescence, and it is very confusing to him because those feeling’s aren’t relatable, in his experience and also common perspective. As soon as he mentioned the word ‘Adolescence’, the sound of it suddenly amplified 10 times louder in my head than a few months ago while the show was airing, and prompted me to stand up from my desk with my eyes wide open.

Hibike! Euphonium is about all these unclarities in adolescence. About those first huge emotional encounters you ever experienced: First love; first romance, first thought on the possibility of the future; the feelings of being accepted or rejected by others; the struggle of everything. Hibike! Euphonium is like an unpolished emotional state that is just filled with genuine interactions and not giving a direct conclusion truthfully (though I can’t speak to the novel, this writing is purely on the two seasons of anime only). It is as clear as day from the viewer that Kumiko does harbor the romantic feeling towards Reina, and maybe Reina in vice versa with her index finger tracing over Kumiko’s lips, but they don’t romantically decide to be in a clarified “relationship”. Why? Because Reina loves Taki-sensei? Because Kumiko doesn’t want to force her feelings on Reina? Because they both don’t know what it is? Or maybe all of them, or more, or maybe none. But those are just adolescence, loud and simple; messy yet beautiful. Most of the time you are simply reacting to a bunch of situations the way they come to you. Now that after college, I couldn’t help but wonder when was the last time I didn’t have to put a direct label on how I feel about the things that are around me? How many times have I looked to the past and then said: “Oh, so that was how it was?. I have been unknowingly putting lables on things happened in the past just so I can categorize them a little better with my current state of more organized, logical mind. No wonder I was confused by Hibike! Euphonium and too, like most of the fandom, looking for some kind of affirmative action. However, subconsciously I didn’t find it right to do so, as proven in my effort to complete the comic.

Because ‘clarity’ is very very very important in this society or as you get older, being mistaken or unclear is generally confusing and unpreferable (I mean, simply look at U.S. politics). This is also not to say all the adolescence in every person is experienced the same way Hibike! Euphonium is portraying. if the whole show is looking very unclear to you, it should be very clear now in this respect. Adolescence is just an unclear thing. Like when Kumiko asked why Reina was here in her room, almost demandingly. Does it really matter if Kyoani specifically spells these emotions out word by word. No, the situation is reinforcing Kumiko’s desire for an answer for something special, and this alone is simply real enough. Adolescence doesn’t need to have a conclusion all the time. It is all about experimenting where these emotions can take you.

And that’s about all I like to write for now.

[noodle-schrammy]

its getting fluffy gays and pals

Paul.p.o.v.

I sat on the bed while Richard placed something on an table I gazed at this beautiful sky how the colours played together but my thoughts were else were asking allot of questions are those feelings real?...I this feeling really love....and what am I even I know from now straight wasn't an answer anymore...fuck what if we tell the band and they just kick us out the thoughts were sharp aching deep in me I noticed how some tears rolled down my face tears of questions and of an unwanted feeling, Richard embraced me tightly asking in his usual tender tone "whats wrong paulchen?" Tears building up as Richard tried to calm me down I don't want this feeling I didn't wanted to fall for him he's a good friend nothing more and even after all the band knows how he is...he is an gentle person but with poisoning touches and sometime empty promises I sighed heavily out clearing my troat and began to explain with raspy voice "I'm scarred...and full of questions reesh" he nodded and sat himself down at the sky blue carpet while gazing up to me with an expression which made it harder to talk "what if....the band won't accept us...and mostly important what if this relationship is just an asinine idea..." Began sobbing before clearing my vision "and....what er we even we cant lable us straight or....are we even acceptable" I began sobbing harder only choking the words out as I noticed how I sank down from the bed meeting the carpet too and having an Richard embracing me not saying an word letting me cry into his shoulder it felt like an relief like the weight was realised "please don't say that...you're everything to me I couldn't without you your smiles, your dork like moves at the show gosh even the way you gaze to me, everything is adoring about you...Paul" I glanced up to him while he gave me an tissue to blow my nose and dry my tears "I'm sorry i wet your shoulder reesh" I told him while catching my breath "its ok...I just want you happy I....love you" I gave an tender smile while clearing my troat "....you drama Queen I love you too" I told him while resting my arms around his shoulders "and calmed down" "yeah a little also do you want us to stay here on the semi comfortable carpet I mean we dont havejust for sleeping an bed which is better for sitting on it Richard laughed and helped me up I sat down at the bes before gazing go Richard handing me my camera "here you forgot your camera" "shit yes and I thank you with my whole heart reesh....but now the sunset is gone and I didn't got even one picture" "well actually" added Richard while showing me an perfect picture of the sunset and the concert and an silly selfie from Richard "you really took an good picture I love it thank you" "I know how you love taking pictures so yeah an little comfort for you" he explained while resting his head on my shoulder yawning "are tired reesh I mean" I took a peek onto my phone seeing its not late in fact its only around 8 in the late evening "you know what get dressed were Having an date" cheerfully pointed out while Richard rolled his eyes but got up and started putting an nice black shirt and an black leather jacket with some black jeans standing there gazing to me while on the other hand I wore an band shirt and an shirt with a 'simple' motif from the map of the world while going for the same choice of jeans and an sweater jacket "ok" sighed out Richard before chuckling pointing out " I actually never thought you would listen to emigrate or did you just bought it because of me" "I listened to your band and even if I'm a more a quit person I enjoy your singing" I replied while he continued "and second what is this" he pulled softly on my shirt "well I love it and gonna wear it mister I go to an funeral" he rolled his eyes before jokingly adding "the funeral is for our fashion choices and now come" I got my camera and strolled with Richard holding hands through the city the sun was nearly gone and the lights were going on making it even more dreamy.

Richard. Po.v.

As we approached the restaurant I gazed to Paul as he was gazing to me with an dreamful smile. We sat down and ordered our food while drinking red whine we talked about alot of things and the time passed while the dim lighting of the balcony fairy lights made Paul's face even more adoring as he talked about the storie how Schneider has anything by him and is more like an drummer mutter, while we where holding hands and Paul stroked mine tender while smiling we noticed our food came we ate it in the peaceful silence as an small band played cheese songs and the air filled it self with the crackling feeling between us after we eat up and drank some more red whine we just started dancing we were almost alone only the small band playing slowly an calming piece and the coworkers talking and watching us we but didn't cared at all I noticed how Paul didn't cared to he was more drawn into leading me into this small dance of us to. After the time passed and more whine was consumed we got told to leave so that they could close down, we bucked of while I tried supporting Paul he seems like an type who drinks only beer but he had quite an apatite for whine. as we got to our hotel room I rested Paul on the bed while he got undressed yawning and falling asleep still dreamy smiling I sighed while noticing the camera was missing we forgot it totally I got quickly and silent out of the room and down the hall while I got further away from the hotel I began more more sprinting as I approached the restaurant I saw an woman examining the camera I for closer to here and she flinched together as I stood half an meter away from her "hello um could you please give this camera it belongs to someone else" I tried to explained while trying not to sound to much boozed up "oh of course I'm sorry but why not in an more delighting setting" she told me while having flushed tone licking her plum red lips as she moved closer to me and tried walking without tripping and falling "uupsi" and with those words she fall forward I tried holding both my balance and her balance while gazing to the camera and getting grip on it placing it down soflty at the wooden balcony besides the succulents I knew if I broke Paul's canson I can already forget making it up it was like the one time were he tripped on stage and instead saving himself he ended up holding his guitar up high while flying head first on the stage im still surprised at the fact he just smiled it away and still played and after I tried to stitch the gashing wound he just told me with an dry tone "well now I can start my career as tampon". My thoughts drifted again to the woman while I landed on the stairs of the restaurant. I glanced up to sky it was full of clouds as I gazed onto the sky hoping Paul is asleep I noticed how the woman moved she got up and opened the glas door and came after an short time again outside with two glass bottles of red whine the labels were nearly faded but before I could tell her anything she hushed me while opening the first bottle pouring two glasses in and gave me one "its wonderful those nights string here and just staring in the sky I agreed and didn't noticed how the time past and the first bottle and then the second empty while we both laughed flushing red from the booze we got closer as the sky got more cloudy and the air was getting sharp and cold we felt how raintrops fell down an refreshing filling in those hot months she moved even closer and ended up sitting on me I didn't even really was in action I was to boozed up to even notice the hickeys she gave me laughing before falling asleep on me.

[pendulumprince]

Wow, Vrains is undeniably more violent than previous installments. I won't be surprised if someone from the cast will get killed later in the series. Out of everyone we have now who do you think might meet such a fate?

So I think we can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that Yusaku is safe. He’ll be put through the wringer, and almost died in episode-fucking-two, but he’s the protagonist. He isn’t going to die.

Everyone else is fair game, though.

You said ‘most likely’ but I’m going through multiple people because that’s just how I roll.

It’ll be on a scale of 1-10, 1 being unlikely (but possible) and 10 being expected.

Ignis (1/10)

Tbh, Ignis is probably going to ‘die’ at some point. Being an AI, what this will entail is anyone’s guess, but I would imagine that it’d have something to do with his programming being rewritten/corrupted/deleted.

Thing is, though, we already have two proficient hackers/code nerds in the cast who could potentially ‘fix’ Ignis if this were to happen (Yusaku and Shoichi). More still may be coming. 

The chances of Ignis dying permanently are pretty low. YGO has never permanently killed the protagonist’s partner before, either, but… there’s a first time for everything. If this were to happen, it would for sure be either just before, or during the endgame duel. Just as Ignis was labled as a ‘savior’ both by himself and Yusaku in the first episode, I could only really see Ignis dying trying to save everyone else.

Aoi (1/10)

YGO has also never killed off the main female lead. Doesn’t mean it can’t ever happen. 

I don’t think we know quite enough about Aoi at this point to predict how she could permadie. But if I could dictate how it went down…?

Make Aoi Zaizen a hero. If she has to die, I would want her to go down in a truly spectacular, Magical-Girl-esque fashion. As with any female character, it would be best if her death meant something aside from inspiring/enraging the dudes in her life. It would also be best if it happened in the midst of some heroic act only she could carry out.

I mean this is YGO so I’m not holding my breath, either for her permadeath or for a particularly heroic tempdeath. Still, this would be ideal.

Go (3/10)

Slightly more likely than Ignis or Aoi. 

This past episode has me thinking that Go and Yusaku are eventually gonna develop that quasi-romantic best bro vibe, reminiscent to the one Yuya and Gongenzaka shared. 

And it’s been established that Go, despite his flaws, is pretty golden hearted. He does everything to support the orphanage where he grew up, and only really wants to be the best for their sake. This suggests selflessness, and like Ignis, i could easily see Go sacrificing himself somewhere down the line.

Maybe it’ll be for those orphans he cares so much about. Maybe it’ll be for the citizens of Den City, or to preserve Link Vrains.

Or… maybe it’ll be for Yusaku. Like I said, I feel like this duel set it up for the two of them to be allies down the line, and eventual besties. So what would be more poignant if the first person Yusaku specifically doesn’t want taking on the KoH sacrifices himself for him, in the midst of that cause?

Revolver (3/10)

Revolver should probably be lower down on this list, if not for the fact that we know he’s going to heel-face turn at some point.

Like Aoi, I don’t think we know enough about Revolver yet to predict what his permadeath could look like. The only thing that most readily comes to mind is Specter taking him out in order to assume leadership over the KoH, or his father waking up from his coma (post Revolver’s face turn) and trying to kill his son for defecting/disbanding the KoH.

Akira (5/10)

You know what the writers could do to 1) invoke feels, 2) give a certain big brother his heroic moment of glory, and 3) set up Aoi/Blue Angel to go on a revenge quest?

Kill Akira. 

Akira is a lowkey antag right now—he hasn’t done anything overtly evil, but he’s distant and aloof and even downright negligent (when it comes to Aoi and the safety of Link Vrains users). But we also know that by virtue of being the older brother of our female lead, the he isn’t going to stay this way.

The clearest path with Akira’s death involves him heel-face turning and going up against his bosses (all six of them). They would have reason to go after him if he did, as I’m sure that Akira knows a shitton of company secrets.

And I’m sure they know that the fastest way to make Akira bend to their will is by threatening his sister.

So the writers could have Akira duel them to protect Aoi. And he could lose…

Or if the writers wanted to put in a Pyrrhic Victory, he could win, but sustain enough injuries to kill his body in the real world. 

Ema (7/10)

Wait, you mean the mysterious character who doesn’t have any clear ties to anyone has a high chance of being killed off? Who would’ve thunk! 

With Ema, it could be just about anything. Unless a certain theory of mine comes true, she has no association with anyone besides Akira, and that seems to be a working relationship (mostly). So I can’t see Ema heroically sacrificing herself, at least not as she is right now.

Her death could honestly be in an accident, or in order to display the prowess of a particular antagonist. To be clear, I don’t want Ema to be ‘made an example of’ in this way. It’s just most likely to happen if she doesn’t go through a certain amount of character development beforehand. 

Naoki (8/10)

It’s very simple:

Naoki admires Playmaker because he fights for justice. In episode 1, Naoki says that he, too, wants to someday be a duelist who fights for justice.

So Naoki’s permadeath would involve him doing just that, and dying in the process. 

Shoichi (10/10)

I am here to break hearts.

Yusaku, our mean and distant protagonist, cares about Shoichi way too much. No matter how you interpret their relationship, Shoichi is Yusaku’s rock. He’s the only person Yusaku trusts, as well as the only character thus far not to display any overtly negative traits. 

And that, right there, is why something awful is on the horizon for Shoichi. 

And I can’t say what that could be. ‘Something awful’ could be Yusaku pulling away from him once he (Yusaku) starts making friends. ‘Something awful’ could be him finding out Revolver is his brother, or that his brother is dead and has been for years. Or that awful thing could be his death. 

And like Naoki, there’s a very clear, simple path for it: he could die either protecting/saving Yusaku, or protecting/saving his brother. Extra bonus points if he saves one of them from an attack sent out by the other.