#but anyway I kinda explained bi vs pan

[neck-thats-made-for-bruising]

So I have realized of my best friends (?) is like,, kinda mean and I feel so uncomfortable

shes saying things like 'eww the pimples in his hairline are sooo gross he probably doesn't even wash his face' and I've learned that if people are making fun of someone but I don't want to say it's mean, I just say something about myself so I said 'oh yeah I have lots of pimples in my hairline cause my hair is really oily' and she said well yeah but that's different

and then today our class smelled like fish (it's also a cooking class) and she started saying it was one of the girls and I felt really bad and then another girl said it's proably you (to my friend) and she got upset but I mean she was doing it to someone else so

asdfkjshda teenagers are really fucking mean

[caelan-withadashofstress]

Hey, to anyone else in the LGBTQIA+ community:

I'm making an info-sheet for my therapist explaining different gender identities, sexual orientations, and romantic orientations, because she wants to be prepared whenever she has LGBT+ clients. (Also including some common slang terms, words and language not to use, info on polyamorous relationships/people, and some specific types of challenges that different orientations and gender identities face.)

If you're part of the community, can you please reblog or reply to this with info you think should be included? Even if I've already got whatever you mention written, it's still helpful to know! If you're not in the community or have nothing to say, please reblog anyway.

I also may make a separate sheet going over LGBTQ+ history and LGBTQ+ people in cultures throughout time and space, as well as mythology and folklore with queer elements. So I'd also like any of that that you can think of!

Oh, and I have a few specific questions (if any of these are offensive in any way, it is absolutely unintentional; please explain why it's offensive and ask me to correct it. I am autistic and do not always recognize when what I say is offensive):

1: To any omnisexuals, how would you describe the difference between omnisexual and bisexual? I have heard omnisexuals explain that the difference between omni and pan is that a partner's gender is still a factor for an omni person, even though they're attracted to all genders. If this is true, then how do you differentiate between bi and omni? Personally, why did you decide to identify as omnisexual vs bisexual or pansexual?

2: To the polysexual people out there, if it's not rude to ask, which genders / gender presentations are you NOT attracted to? I know that polysexual/polyromantic describes being attracted to multiple, but not all, genders. You don't have to explain why you're not attracted to that gender or genders - I know that there's usually no specific reason why people are or aren't attracted to certain genders. (As a quick aside, I'm also writing a novel with a polysexual main character, so this info would be helpful for multiple things I'm working on!)

3: For anyone else who experiences a third gender (or fourth, fifth, etc) which isn't necessarily "man" or "woman", what does that gender feel like for you? What pronouns do you prefer? Do you have a specific name for that gender? (As a genderfluid person, I experience a third gender, but I'm not great at describing it. So... y'know.)

4: For other genderfluid people: how do you know which gender you are from day to day? I'm not great at describing this for myself, despite being genderfluid. I mean, I just kinda know. Does anyone out there have a better way of describing it?

5: Heteroflexible and homoflexible peeps, what are the specific situations in which you feel attraction for the gender you aren't normally attracted to (assuming you feel comfortable answering)? Also, would you consider yourself to be under the monosexual or multisexual umbrella? Or do you consider yourself to be under neither? (I am generally grouping orientations by whether they fit into the asexual, monosexual, or multisexual umbrellas.)

6: Abrosexual people: do you consider yourself to be under the monosexual or multisexual umbrella, or do you think that you fit into a grey area in-between?

[problematicattraction]

Curious about your opinions on paraphilias vs sexuality?

I know you said you wouldn’t go on a rant lol but I’m personally interested, especially since I’m of the opinion that there can be no difference between non-disorders paras and kinks/fetishes (if there is a difference or not is very subjective)

Maybe I should've added a tone tag! I meant it in a silly and sort of sarcastic way, like, oh I TOTALLY won't go on a rant *wink wink*(I'm still getting used to being human, pardon me.)

Btw this is less about differences and more about like, how they intertwine and overlap, idk why I put differences in the post, but this rant is kinda like, how paraphilias can become sexualities or influence sexualities. Also this is just my personal opinion based on some things in my system. okay thank you anyways

Okay so let's start of discussing paraphilias. Im a paraphile myself, along with being queer (pansexual, demisexual, demiromantic, so forth), and I've noticed a very big overlapping of my paraphilias and my sexuality, and I've discussed this with other alters of my system and I've noticed there are different intensities of this. Like, my sexuality only exists when I am with the people of my paraphilia, meaning my sexuality doesn't exist without my paraphilia, and that's not to say "Oh if I didn't have a para, I'd be straight", I mean, I wouldn't be anything. At all. I'd have no attraction. I think I'd still date people but without my current partners, who are tied to my paraphilia / the objects of my attraction, I'd never be content with it. I'd never be happy with someone, even if I dated to try and feel happy, no matter the gender, I just couldn't feel it. But with my partners, I have ones of all genders, thus making me pan. You know?

Some of my alters expressed this too, I'll take one of my most recent, who I'll call Danielle bc that's similar to her name, and explain her opinion. So she's Dreamsexual, not the sleep one but the MCYT one, and that might've started as a paraphilia, but she just, doesn't have a sexuality besides that. She's not pan, or bi, or lesbian, or gay, she's just Dreamsexual, this IS her sexuality. It's not just a paraphilia (which is what some people have told her.)

Or Ikar, whose generally MCYTsexual (coining coming soon lol) / DSMPsexual (also coming soon) and he's attracted to certain genders within those boundaries but not outside of them, he just, can't do it.

I have some who are lesbian because of their paraphilias. Like, some have paraphilias specifically for pink fabrics, and associate those fabrics with feminity, which makes them attracted to all people who are feminine or wearing pink, and some who are attracted to female dolls specifically due to a paraphilia making them lesbian.

I just see that paraphilias and sexualities tend to overlap, at least for us, and I want to normalize "weird" or "odd" sexualities because their valid and deserve love. Does that make sense?

I'm also personally someone who prefers "-sexual" over "-philia" because I just feel more comfortable with it being my sexuality. Of course, I love all paraphiles and those who prefer to use paraphilia over sexuality, that's valid, but in my opinion it just feels nicer and makes me feel better, I haven't met anyone else like that though I don't think

[lab-trash]

I'm not sure if your looking for ship ideas/prompts in specific but if not then maybe something about skylar and kaz coming out to eachother as lesbian and gay during mighty med?

I wanted to include Chase and Bree in this, but I ended up making it set in late Season 1 instead of mid-season 2. I might do a MM vs LR version as well, but this one is not that.

There's some Experion x Kaz in this, so if that bothers you, don't read it. It is very mild though, and they don't even interact.

Kaz didn’t even mean to do it. He was just hangin’ out with Skylar. Experion had left the room and Kaz was just saying what was on his mind. 

That was something that he did. Just talked without thinking. He didn’t want to think. Why would he voluntarily think.

Well, maybe he should, because then he wouldn’t be in this situation.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but Experion’s kinda hot.”

As soon as it left his mouth he realised his mistake. At least Oliver wasn’t here, he would’ve chewed him out for that. 

But who knew how Skylar would react? Gay people probably didn’t even exist on Caldera; everyone looked the same, so it was probably weird to go out with someone who was basically a copy of yourself. 

“What?” Skylar asked. Kaz swallowed.

“Sorry, I— Ignore that, I never said that, I said nothing,” He said, repositioning uncomfortably. Skylar let out a light laugh.

“Expy’s bi, if you want me to put in a good word for you,” She offered, getting Kaz’s attention.

“Really?” He asked, his voice high and hopeful, a small smile on his face. 

“Sure,” Skylar said with a small laugh. “I mean, I think he thinks you're cute,” She teased, poking Kaz’s arm. Kaz shook his head.

“I’ve embarrassed myself so much in front of him, jesus christ.”

“I don’t know, I think he thinks you’re charming,” She said, her voice still teasing the panicking gay boy.

“How could you possibly think that?”

“Because he told me.”

Kaz’s head shot up, a smile on his face.

“Really?” He asked. Skylar nodded. 

“Yeah,” She said. “Anyway, so, just so I know, do you know…” Kaz swallowed.

He’d never said anything like what he was about to say. He had only recently admitted it to himself, and he’d never said it out loud. 

“I’m gay.” 

Skylar lightly shoved Kaz’s arm.

“Me too!” She exclaimed. 

Kaz raised a brow, confused, fidgeting with his hands.

“I’m a little behind on my Calderian; does gay mean the same thing there that it does on Earth?” He asked. Skylar laughed lightly.

“Yeah, it does,” She said. 

“So you’re a lesbian?” Kaz asked, not fully believing it.

If she was a lesbian, how come she didn’t just tell that to Oliver? Wouldn’t that have been easier than constantly rejecting him? There was no way that she hadn’t noticed Oliver simping over her.

“Yeah,” Skylar admitted. “I mean, guys are kinda…” She shuttered. Kaz sighed.

“Yeah. I’m not happy about being attracted to them either; we suck,” He said, earning laughter from Skylar. “Why aren’t you out? I’d think you’d want Oliver to know.”

“I’m just not ready. Plus, I don’t want to have to go through the whole ‘coming out,’ process. It’s kind of painful, even if they’re accepting, it’s really awkward. I mean, when Experion and I came out to each other, even though we’re both stab, it was still really awkward.” Kaz stared for a moment, confused.

“Stab?” He asked, squinting in confusion.

“It’s a blanket term for anyone who’s gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, et cetera,” Skylar explained. Kaz nodded in understanding. 

“So it’s like a word for the LGBTQIA+ community?”

“Exactly,” Skylar said.

There was a pause. A confusingly comfortable pause.

“So, lesbian then?” Kaz asked.

“So, gay then,” Skylar responded.

[landofsomethingsomething]

(1/2) What do you personally think the quadrants "meant" relationship wise on Alternia? On the subject of matespritship, I kinda had the idea that they actually do feel love how humans do, but since their society kept saying That's Not How It Works pretty much everyone thought they were the Only One who felt these things for their matesprit. Some of them may or may not be able to confide this to their SO which would likely lead to them

(2/2) saying “wait I feel the same way, don’t worry” and they would… Probably continue thinking they were outcasts and hide it, but I think you get the idea? I hope that was clear ^_^;;

hhffff I don’t even know how to explain my current HC for it, I think about it way too much

Lately I’ve been settling into the idea that Alternian law took something that was natural for trolls – a natural species-wise“norm” of bi/pan and poly sexuality/romanticism vs the human parallel “norm” of mono/het – and set up a very rigid system where deviance became punishable by death and young trolls were expected from very early on to learn to box up their emotions in very specific ways for the good of the empire, because Doc Scratch’s Alternia was a planet that cranked out military fodder to conquer the universe with first and foremost. So socially give them the bare minimum they need to stay sane (your pale relationships) and propagate the species (your flushed relationships) and kill off anyone who can’t hack it exactly the way they’re supposed to, because the empire doesn’t have time for their bullshit. I also think it’s established that trolls as a general species are more physically durable and resilient and their threshold for violence is higher than humans because of it, making blackrom a more viable norm and more believable urge for them to feel biologically. 

So this is why you see the Beforans still referencing quadrants - it’s a natural system for a species that tends toward polyamory, allows for more intense “blackrom” than the average human relationship would want or need or be very healthy with, and kind of outgrowths naturally in troll societies. The details obviously vary with whatever individual people see as the intrinsic qualities of each type of relationship (moirallegiance and blackrom in particular are hotly contested things I’ve read tons of interesting theories and headcanons about.) 

All this to say, I think that troll societies tend to settle into quadrants-as-the-norm and bi/pansexuality-as-the-norm the same way human societies tend to settle into monogamy and heterosexuality. But, as Dave says, both humans and trolls are complex emotional beings who can feel a lot of different things in a lot of different ways, so there’s no one size fits all for trolls just as there isn’t for humans. But for trolls, not fitting the bi/pan quadranted system makes you an outlier the same way that not fitting the monogamous hetereosexual system makes you an outlier here on earth (in most places.) 

On Alternia, that’s especially hard on them because uhhhh you get fuckin’ put to death if you don’t conform. So I think to bring this around in your example, that situation absolutely exists and tbh is probably not uncommon, but the majority of trolls rationalize it/repress it and become good conforming adults. Here on earth we have no idea how many lgbt+ people truly exist in the world because so many have repressed themselves so deeply - for example, there are sociological studies out there that suggest a LOT more people are bi/pan than we truly realize because people are so conditioned to think of same-sex attraction as something else and 100% think of themselves and self-report as straight. 

If you’re going to be ostracized at best and put to death at worst for something you’re probably going to repress the hell out of it as much as you can, especially if it’s all happening while you’re as young as the Alternian trolls were when they had to start dealing with this in a real way. 

I think that your “average” troll would be content with a full quadrangle the same way your “average” human is content with their marriage… but keep in mind that at least in the US first marriage divorce rates are inversely proportional to the age of that marriage (meaning the older you are when you are first married the more likely that marriage does not end in divorce) and Alternian trolls are supposed to have it figured out at the equivalent of 18. :^)

Anyway I hope all that made sense. I like them being intrinsically different from humans in some ways beyond blood longevity/psychic abilities because … I like trolls to feel more “alien” as a whole. Not just in regards to their “default” preferences but also in regards to blackrom as a biological need that isn’t considered intrinsically unhealthy in their society (even on Beforus) despite its association with some level of physical violence. Not everyone does (and some people prefer them to be even MORE alien) - and that’s cool too - just my own thoughts and preferences. 

[deathsusanstohelit]

way too many campaign queer characters headcanons/thoughts:

- lyn is perfect and beautiful and i love her. thats all 

- clones are all super queer... theres totally a bunch of nb and trans lady clones running around and i wish they were safe but they def had to deal w all this clone wars bs so sadly.... my poor children.... jango fett was aro/ace spectrum obviously .... boba is super bi and probably aro idk.... essentially all the clones are some combination of bi or aro or ace, they might have differing gender preferences for partners, but anyway theyre all queer 

- on that note, bacta is very much bisexual, its just that he hasnt had much of a chance to explore yet and the last few people he’s been attracted to have been ladies. i personally feel like bacta might be demiromantic, just kinda based off of how i interpreted the bacta/vuvu thing but i wouldnt consider that a hard hc and its not something i’d cling to if canon goes a differently way but i think it fits 

- does neemo is bi? (yes)

- leenik, based on the panini question and just the way he reminds me of myself, is probably aro spec and ace spec. based on the panini thing, i think he’s probably gray ace (tho i guess we’ll hopefully find out more?) but just rarely actually into people. he definitely feels gray aro too, he has that crush on neemo but also seems inconsistent with any romantic notions or feelings (def reminds me of me, im super gray aro/aroflux and like, consistent romantic attraction feels like a fucking impossible dream lol. also like, leenik’s love of romance novels vs my love of shippy fic is like, this same longing for a romantic relationship that you cant quite see yourself having bc of how hard it is to find someone youre consistently into,, i feel that so hard leenik...) so anyway i identify with leenik too much whoops  

- ok so... tryst is canonically pan and thats perfect but also to me, he feels pretty aro spec too?? i feel like he might be aro pan, and just, i have a reason so let me explain why... tryst’s ideas about sex and love feel like an inversion of my own past understanding of how relationships work. as a young teen trying to figure shit out, i had this idea that the “real” parts of a relationship were the romantic bits, like holding hands and talking and shit. sex was just a thing the Adults did, a side part of the relationship you did because it was expected. and when i figured out i was ace, that made sense, i was prioritizing the parts of a relationship that i could identify with and trying to ignore or write off the other parts as just ‘part of the package’.... from how i interpret tryst (and im not gonna claim that i understand him at all so like, feel free to disagree), he does the same thing in the opposite direction. anything romantic is done as a precursor to sex, it’s something you have to do to get the “real” part of the relationship. like... between his tendency to focus on sex over love (ie the panini question), his date with lavali, and his interactions with aava (which altho i like traava, it doesnt feel romantic to me personally), none of the relationships tryst seems to have are done for the love or romance. maybe to other people that doesnt sound like someone who is aromantic, but to me, it feels like an inversion of my own experiences. kind of like how i didnt realize until later that i didnt have to have sex to have love, maybe tryst is someone who just hasnt figured out yet that he doesnt Have to feel romantic attraction to have a relationship

anyway, this is pretty rambling, and maybe people disagree but... i can see so much of my own experiences in these characters and it felt important to share that