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castiel-left-his-mark-on-me · 4 years ago

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Hi, Ary, very inactive ex-mutual(i think???) here. Good to see you thriving! ♥ It's been a while since I've dipped my head into cockles stuff. Could I perchance maybe ask uuuuum tf is going on??? lol I see Mish apparently confirmed he used to stay over at Jensen's in Van, and heard newbs were apparently freaking out about it and getting a bit messy, which I get that, business as usual. But I'm also seeing shit about spin-offs? And Jared getting in a twitter fight with Jensen, causing/resulting in stans to going feral and sending hate?? I know you're not as big a fan of Jar, but that's part of why I figured I'd ask you, you usually have a really level head about this kinda stuff. If you don't wanna answer publically, or at all, that's totally chill!

Hey, Rhi! We're still mutuals! Of course we're still mutuals! When I saw the notification of your ask, I was like "Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!" and my husband was like "???" and I said "Tumblr" and he said "Oh."

It was a wild time haha.

In any case, welcome back to the dumpster fire! We are obviously still a mess. So to catch you up, I guess I will start by summarizing both before and after the finale (not sure where you left off so this might be redundant for you) ... basically, it became obvious as the end of the show neared that Jensen was not on board with the plan for the finale; although Jared never stopped singing its praises.

We got confirmation of this during a zoom interview where Jensen said that he actually went into the writers room as well as called Kripke to basically voice how he didn't agree with the direction the final season was going, but he was shot down on all fronts. In another interview, he was asked "What would you tell your younger self going into this career?" And Jensen responded with: "I would tell myself to just keep your head down and do the work" meaning, "Don't try to change things because you can't." I also think that this whole situation is what he wrote "Let Me Be" about for his first Radio Company album, but that is just my own speculation. All of his reluctance, even though he always followed it up with "But I eventually saw the value in the script" or "I came around in the end" (which never sounded sincere, and I don't think he was really trying to sound sincere) made us all very nervous about what was to come for 15x20; and of course, when the last two episodes aired, we saw just how badly they fucked it up.

After the awful finale, the entire fandom became aware of the CW's heavy handed role in the thing, basically squeezing all the life out of SPN to shape it into a ramp from which Walker could launch itself. They not only erased all the love and joy and representation that Cas's love confession gave us, they also tore apart the things that made sense about the bond between Sam and Dean, making it really just about Sam-- and therefore Jared, which of course, Jared seemed to be fine with ... even though no one else was. Misha barely said anything during the finale, and a few of the other actors talked about the show ending in various posts, but Jared tweeted up a storm ... and Jensen? Jensen just sat in sexy-silent resentment of the whole thing. He didn't tweet, he didn't post, he didn't say a word once he no longer had to, and I think that's because he was already going full-steam-ahead on his plans for redemption.

Which brings us to Chaos Machine-- Jensen and Danneel's new production company that is being run by a queer creative director and has a mantra of inclusivity and representation woven throughout it's fabric; and apparently, the first story that Jensen wanted to tell through this new platform is the origin story of Sam and Dean's parents; so last week (?) he announced the upcoming production of "The Winchesters" -- the untold love story of John and Mary. Obviously, John is not the most likable character from the show, so the idea was met with a lot of resentment when it was first announced, but Jensen has gone on to say that he is excited to take on the task of telling the "true" story behind these characters-- the one that makes sense with the pre-established canon and doesn't reject it. So, given that, the idea is being mulled over with a bit more optimism from the fandom.

Who isn't being optimistic though?

Jared Padalecki.

When Jensen made this announcement on Twitter, many of his friends and coworkers congratulated him, but not Jared. Jared responded with a passive aggressive: "I'm happy for you, man, but I wish I didn't hear about it through Twitter." This of course, sent all the die-hard Jared fans into a tizzy and they immediately began asking him if he was serious (hoping it was just a joke-- we all hoped it was because there would be fallout no matter what one's opinion on Jared is). Instead of leaving it there though or just deleting that tweet, Jared went on to tweet some more, saying that he was being serious that he didn't know about the plans for the prequel, and that he was "gutted" that Sam apparenlty wouldn't be included (mind you, this a prequel to SPN... meaning BEFORE Sam and Dean were even born, so how could Sam be included? But Dean is apparently narrating this story so maybe Jared thought Sam should be helping to narrate it? I don't know). But Jared being Jared couldn't just leave that there, he then went on to tweet at Robbie Thompson who was announced as a writer for "The Winchesters" so then Jared went off on him too, calling him "Brutus" and a "coward" acting like Robbie betrayed him (speculation is-- Robbie refused to write for Walker, so Jared is pissed that he essentially chose Jensen over him). He did fairly quickly, remove that tweet attacking Robbie, but of course the damage was done at that point. And it truly only took his first tweet calling out Jensen for some people to be like "Jared-- that sucks if you didn't know but why are you saying any of this publicly?"

As you might know, Jared has had issues in the past with posting hurtful things on social media, and has even used it as a tool for attack before-- calling out customer service agents and public workers that he felt have wronged him, which is bad enough ... but for him to then do the same thing to his best friend of well over a decade? Many people who had once liked him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt (I used to ...) stopped after this latest twitter tantrum.

However, some people have suspected for some time that J2 had a falling out either shortly before the finale or just after. Their public/social media interactions have seemed awkward, stilted or even non-existent in moments that they normally wouldn't be. In the past year, when Walker premiered, Jensen didn't say much about his friend's new venture other than a "Congrats. buddy" here and there. Later, we learned that Jensen refused to work on the show ... Jared said he make him do it, drag Jensen to the set "kicking and screaming" which made many fans quirk up an eyebrow because, why would Jensen put up a fight unless the two weren't as close as they used to be? And then Jensen moved his family to Colorado (either permanently or for an extended period at least) which is notable considering how he moved to Texas seemingly to be closer to Jared, even buying a house that was near his. All this was just speculation though; but it wasn't until Jared's tweet complaining about not knowing about the prequel that the theories behind them falling out, became less theory and more fact.

The day after his twitter tantrum, Jared tweeted again-- not retracting his statements or apologizing, but instead saying that he and Jensen "talked" and were "all good". Jensen then tweeted too, parroting this statement to some degree, which only made the whole thing even more sour in the mouths of the fans. The fact that Jared didn't apologize for his outburst and throwing his friend under the bus, and also the fact that Jensen-- Mr. Sexy Silence, Mr. Never Tweets, Mr. Tech-Ignorant-and-Proud, actually had to POST SOMETHING saying that he and Jared made up, it just screamed OPTICS. It was obviously the work of agents and PR firms and lots of people going "Look, if you two keep beefing, that will mean the death of both of your projects. Even more people will stop watching Walker, and this SPN prequel will never get picked up due to the scandal." So, the two "made nice" publicly to quell the chaos, but in my opinion, it's all too little too late. Jared started a storm that he can't contain now with a little tweet, and it seems like he knows that too because before he talked about him and Jensen making up, he asked that people "not send threats". He could have just as easily said that he shouldn't have made this a public issue and that he's sorry, but instead, he continued to play the victim and stoke the flames by alerting us all to the damage he's done.

Now, like I said before-- I used to give him the benefit of the doubt. I don't think he's an awful human or that he deserves to be attacked or anything, but he is an adult man with very poor judgment and an obvious selfish-streak a mile wide. He should know better, and he should have more respect for his so-called "friends" and "brothers" than to make them targets to public ridicule. I have a hard time believing that Jensen still sees Jared the way he used to, and I wouldn't blame him a bit for wanting to pull away-- especially when he's moving on to so many new and exciting things. Jared certainly deserves happiness just as much as anyone else, but he went on twitter and basically asked for a scandal, and he got one.

The question is now-- was there a motive behind it? Was just looking for a reason to bring his and Jensen's falling out to light-- while making himself looking like the victim in the process? Or did he genuinely not know about the prequel and just decided to go about "not knowing" in the most toxic and hurtful way he could manage?

In any case, that is the drama ... that is the J2 insanity in a rather lengthy nutshell ... that is the tea ... and I hope it all makes sense.

But the good news out of all of this is, Cockles is thriving-- they are happy and in love and Jensen calls Misha "Babe" and Misha misses waking up to see Jensen in the morning, and they are just as cute and wonderful as can be.

So, I will end that there. I am so glad to see you back, and I hope I answered all your questions in a way that made sense ... I tried anyway!

💖💖💖

#omg #I don't even know if this makes sense #this took way too long to write #j2 #cockles #long post #spn family #so glad you see you back again my dear #welcome to hell #it's hotter now

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sxcret-garden-archive · 4 years ago

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P1Harmony ✧ If they were on Tumblr

✧ P1Harmony all members ✧ genre: humor

Author’s note: This is kind of a shitpost but once I got the idea for it I couldn’t just not make it skjflkas

Keeho:

is a twitter boi and always will be

might get a tumblr exclusively to spy on fans tho

you know, one of those empty tumblrs where you’re not sure if it’s a bot or not and that has zero posts so you can’t even tag it in anything

he’ll just ghost around like that and go through our posts every few days, more often during comebacks

stays away from fanfic entirely because he knows and doesn’t want to risk being traumatized in that way

sometimes shows the others a funny post by a P1ece, but never likes or reblogs anything

Theo:

has a blog entirely about himself

changes his theme according to his hair color (white for Siren era, pink for Scared, etc.)

is kinda mad he didn’t get his canon url

always praises how handsome he is when he reblogs a picture of himself

applauds gifmakers for their coloring and choice of scenes to gif because he came out so nicely here

(he always thinks he came out nicely though)

answers asks with smileys only

blocks you if you try to interact with him otherwise hdhdhdjd

organizes everything with tags like #cutietaengie, #cooltheo, #hotasthesun, #sexytaeng

you will regret following him

Jiung:

nature aesthetic

partakes in niche-interest tumblr discourse

actually adds something to those posts instead of just reblogging and maybe rambling in the tags

very active on the science side of tumblr

throws everything together on one blog because he realizes too late that side-blogs are a thing

almost has a breakdown over whether to reorganize his blog or not once he discovers side-blogs

leaves it as it is in the end because he doesn’t have the time to manage multiple blogs anyway

Intak:

has a TBZ blog, but it’s mostly Juyeon

reblogged every single Juyeon gifset in existence, and then some more

always praises him in the tags, has to keep reminding himself not to call him hyung or sunbae in his rambles

overuses the 🥺-emoji

also sometimes reblogs SF9 posts to promote their comeback, or posts about P1H (mostly gifs of himself tbh), which he leaves uncommented though

lowkey panics if someone tries to talk to him per pn because he thinks someone found out who he really is

low effort blog theme, he just chose a few colors he felt like using when he made it and never changes them

his icon is obviously a picture of Juyeon

Soul:

a blog with a hiphop-feel

probably has a super cool self customized theme

reblogs music he dances to and dark aesthetics

like depressing quotes but also hopeful ones?

is he okay???

sometimes you find a Japanese cat meme on his blog

he too does not use the side-blog function, but not because he doesn’t know it’s there

he just doesn’t care

actually he likes the mixture of so many different things on his blog

the type to sometimes scroll back to the bottom of his own blog to relive the Experience™️ of when he first reblogged everything

Jongseob:

has a B.A.P blog

his pinned post is the audio of Zelo’s Howler

fanboys HARD under every single old gifset or picture he reblogs

sometimes posts entire essays about why B.A.P’s discography is superior and why their messages are so important, etc.

his blog colors are probably a black background and green script and the header is a picture of B.A.P at one of their concerts with a few of their lightsticks visible

his icon is a matoki (if you don’t know them, google them, they’re cute af)

isn’t very active and doesn’t interact with people either

sometimes makes posts like “🙏BYG writing a song for P1H🙏” and laughs because nobody figures out that this blog is run by a P1H member

#p1harmony crack #p1harmony humor #p1harmony fluff #p1harmony imagines #p1harmony scenarios #p1harmony imagine #p1harmony scenario #p1harmony #keeho #theo #jiung #intak #soul #jongseob #fluff #humor #crack

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mojoflower · 5 years ago

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WHY is fanfiction not the appropriate venue for your political or social battle?

We can all agree, I posit, that there are changes that need to be made in the world (racism, for example; patriarchal inequalities; rape culture; capitalism; plug in your personal cause here).

We can all ALSO agree, I think, that the way culture, media, etc. portray things influences a consumer on an unconscious level.

We can agree that, in real life, certain things are clearly bad: abuse of others, non-consensual sex, systemic inequality, I can go on….

So. Let me feel my way through this. I, personally, feel like fanfiction (specifically on AO3, since that’s where I encounter it) is NOT an appropriate battleground for enforcing cultural change by:

Leaving comments about how someone’s work is (in your, the commenter’s, opinion) wrong, damaging, unfair, insensitive, etc.

Telling the writer they should change this or that.

Telling the writer they must add or delete tags.

Broadcasting your opinion of the writer’s egregiousness outside AO3 (twitter, for example, or here on tumblr).

Organizing a campaign of harassment against the author if they don’t change to suit your personal requirements.

First of all:

Be the change you want to see.

Fanfiction, unlike any other media out there, is INDIVIDUAL. It is one work, from one single person – voluntary and unpaid. You yourself are one single person. You can have as much influence as this writer. Write the works you want to read, instead of demanding that the writer change to suit you. This is how romance novels changed from non-con, non-condom-wearing, shudderingly unequal stories in the 70s and 80s to where they are now, for example. New people started writing stories, and eventually established authors started changing, too (or dwindled away).

Remember that you know nothing about the author.

You don’t know their culture, their skin color, their age, their gender. You don’t know their socioeconomic status or how much free time they have. You don’t know their current mental or physical conditions. You don’t know any of the things going on in their life. AND. You are not entitled to know these things. When you lash out at an author for not doing research, for not editing, for… anything at all… you cannot assume that they’re not fourteen, not suicidal, not a native speaker, not disabled such that writing a single paragraph is a tremendous effort. You don’t know they’re not in an abusive situation, or economic peril. You do not have the right to tell them to change. Whether you are asking them to change text, tone, tagging, ships, plot, you name it. Anything.

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

Don’t like, don’t read. These are simple concepts, and the tagging system on AO3 helps you to avoid many triggers. Simple common sense, once you're into a story that’s raising your hackles, will warn you away from the rest. If you say, ‘no, this person can’t write that, it’s contributing to pain in the Real World’ then you are functioning as a censor. I mean, at its most basic level, a censor is someone who strikes out passages in books or other media because it’s… immoral/bad/etc. The problem is that morality is incredibly tailored to the group you’re in, and also incredibly fluid, shifting over time. So… why do YOU get to be the censor and not the author? What makes YOU the final word? Seriously, think about it.

Fanfiction writers are the most vulnerable group you could target.

Which makes them easy prey, and possibly makes them the juiciest and most satisfying targets. Address your anger to Hollywood or Simon & Schuster or Congress – and your voice will doubtless get lost in the shuffle. Address it to an author on AO3 and you can deliver your blow personally, one on one, and witness the damage. There is no professional buffer between your resentment and their reaction.

Who are fanfiction writers? Overwhelmingly women, overwhelmingly queer, often very young and inexperienced. Wow. What a rewarding group to start slapping around. You wouldn't be the only one to think so. Seriously. Aim your anger at someone who is STRONGER than you. Not someone who is (likely) weaker than you. You’re kicking a kitten, while a lion lounges behind you.

Censoring someone’s thoughts is bad.

People should be allowed to THINK. And they can think whatever they want. Whether and where and how it should be expressed is another matter. AO3 is a safe place for whatever weird-ass thoughts you have. It is expressly written into their mission statement. AO3 was SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED so that authors could have a place for their dead dove fics.

So. Why is [your pet cause] okay on AO3 and not on a script in Hollywood?

AO3 requires membership before you can post anything, so it’s arguably private. AO3 provides tools for readers to avoid works they might find triggering. AO3 profits no one. Follow the money, and there are your true culprits. Not a housewife from Hoebokken.

Fanfiction writers make no money. When they write, they are not lawmakers, filmmakers, teachers or preachers. This is not their job. They do not have a responsibility to the community, because they are vested with no power and no paycheck. Please move your battlefield to one of these other venues. Your fight will be harder, but it will also do a lot more good than traumatizing some naive kid away from writing forever.

Fanfiction comprises an individual’s personal thoughts and personal works, written for their own enjoyment, shared only through AO3 to (presumably) like-minded readers. Fanfics are a person’s fantasies and daydreams. They might be an author’s therapeutic exercise. Or someone trying to explore something new, whether it be cultures, ideas, sexualities or kinks. Humans need a place where they can be wrong and make mistakes. Think about that, I implore you. If you are constantly pointing out someone’s errors, you may eventually either silence them forever, or instill in them permanent resentment. This does not further your cause.

You have your personal cause.

I’ve seen a lot of them. Incest is bad, you’re not allowed to write about it. Pedophilia is bad, you’re not allowed to write about it. Abusive relationships are bad, you’re not allowed to write about them. Racism is bad, you’re not allowed to write about it. Genderswap is transphobic, you’re not allowed to write about it. A/B/O romanticizes damaging gender inequalities. There are many. If every single one of you got to stamp out your personal crusade, then fic would be scant on the ground and many people wouldn’t try to create anymore. It’s stifling to creativity and terrifying to an author that they might slip up and be called out. No one, as far as I know, likes to think of their fanfiction as something that will be turned in for a grade.

Your standards are your own.

What are the precise parameters of an abusive relationship? Transphobia? Racism? Pedophilia? Fetishism? Where does dub-con become non-con? No one is the mouthpiece for the whole world. You are only the mouthpiece for yourself.

If you think to yourself that it’s not okay to tell someone they can’t write about, say, a gay relationship, but it IS okay to tell them they can’t write about a certain ship or dynamic (for Reasons), then maybe you should step back and check yourself and your entitlement to someone else’s endeavor.

In conclusion:

I’m not saying that racism doesn’t exist in fanfiction. Or creepy sexual abuse, or glorification of harmful dynamics. It certainly does. I’m not trying to play semantics with you.

But when you see these things, when they bother you... back right out.

That’s it. Just back out, ignore it and find a different fic. (Or better yet, write your own!) Shower the fics you approve of with love and comments about why you think they’re great. Give them kudos and bookmarks and shout-outs on your blog. Eventually, if your opinion is popular, authors who thought otherwise will realize that readership is looking for something different. They’ll change or they won’t, but the body of work will change over time, and THAT is what you’re looking to accomplish. Not to stamp out fanfiction altogether.

#mojo muses #fandom wank #censorship #social justice #fanfiction #fandom #I am not disputing the validity of your opinion on Thing #I am disputing your right to push it on a fic author #these are two separate things #cancel culture #antis

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starlene · 4 years ago

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I briefly discussed this with @chazmina back in, what, February, and wrote a note to myself that I should make a post about it... well, I guess time’s a construct and it’s always better late than never, so here goes.

The Problem with Emma/Jekyll in Jekyll & Hyde the Musical

So. I’ve never really felt any chemistry in between Emma and Jekyll in J&H the musical, and whenever I watch the show, I have a rather hard time trying to get invested in their relationship. I wanted to write a little post exploring why that might be!

First off, because coming from me, someone might think this is the case – I don’t think it’s because I ship Utterson and Jekyll. The way I ship those two (namely, a semi-unrequited mess of mostly bad feelings) doesn’t really get in Emma/Jekyll’s way. If anything, having an impending wedding to someone else enhances my Utterson/Jekyll experience. And hey, you know what the meme says, Jekyll has two hands... and he effectively uses them both to hurt many, many people. :)

But, thinking about Emma...

The musical, of course, does what every other adaptation of Jekyll and Hyde does and gives Jekyll and Hyde separate girlfriends. And at first glance, the whole situation with Emma and Lucy is built on some very tired stereotypes: you have the goody-two-shoes rich blonde for the good guy and the promiscuous poor brunette for the bad guy. The musical does little to combat this – but for me, the things it does make the situation worse, actually.

The Problem

When we first meet Emma in the engagement party scene, we soon find out she’s not quite what you might expect. Sure, the writing’s ham-fisted at best, but even so – instead of a demure little wife-to-be, Emma is rather sassy. She’s also broken off a relationship before, apparently simply because the man didn’t appreciate her for who she was. And now, she’s marrying a man of her own choosing, even if there are people out there who don’t approve of the match. Pretty advanced for (our stereotypical vision of) the Victorian era.

I think in some other story, this would be great! A quick-witted, self-confident lady to balance off the scientist with lofty ideals. However, in J&H the musical... first, the musical takes pains over showing us why Emma and Jekyll are a good match – come on, they badmouth the stuffy party crowd together! – and then, we see Jekyll take his leave of this fantastic woman to go ogle at dancers in a local burlesque house.

(Sure, sure, it’s a bachelor party cliché to hire some strippers, but even so. He doesn’t even hesitate. Maybe it makes a little more sense whenever they’re using the script where it’s Utterson’s idea to go to The Red Rat, but it doesn’t seem like many modern productions are based on that.)

Then, of course, Jekyll runs into Lucy, and we’re supposed to believe he sees something in her right away. Something, you might assume, that’s altogether different from whatever he sees in Emma.

Sure, the obvious thing that pops to mind first is that Lucy is sexually available in a way Emma is not – but then again, it’s six weeks to go unti Jekyll and Emma’s wedding, so soon enough, Emma will be too. (And even back in those days, I guess if they wanted to get it on right there and then, they could. I repeat, it’s six weeks, so even if they got a baby on the way right away, she wouldn’t be showing until after the wedding.) So maybe instead, Lucy understands Jekyll mentally in a way Emma does not? But if she does, what was Jekyll and Emma’s big song about knowing and loving each other as they are about? Are we supposed to think it was insincere? Or are we supposed to assume that Jekyll assumes that, unlike Emma who knows and loves Jekyll, Lucy would also love Hyde as he is? (I guess that might be it, I’ve previously talked about this with someone who was an advocate of that theory – but it’s still a lot of assumptions stacked on top of each other without ever making the situation quite clear.)

This all leaves us with a rather weird situation: Jekyll is in love with and getting married to Emma, who loves him back and is very likeable. At the same time, Jekyll finds Emma lacking somehow, because when he gives way to his repressed urges, he immediately goes to cheat on her with Lucy.

Of course, you could use a setup like this to argue, say, that you shouldn’t except any single relationship to fulfill all your dreams, and that monogamy is not the right lifestyle for everybody – but this show is decidedly not smart enough for that, and the extremely stereotypical way the women are otherwise handled doesn’t really allow for enough nuance to argue something like that. From a storytelling point of view, in a show like this, you’d except something a bit more overt.

The Solution

To fix this, here’s what I’d do:

I’d still write Emma as a feisty, likeable character – but I’d add in a couple of lines where the engagement party guests whisper about her embarrassing breakup with Simon and how she’s getting on in years, so it’s good she’s settling down with someone, even if Jekyll is way beneath her.

When it’s time for the big Jekyll/Emma duet, then, I’d write it in a way that makes clear something’s not quite clicking in between them, that they’re not quite in tune with each other (maybe literally.) There would be some clever lyrics implying that, while they’re dreaming of a harmonious future together, their exceptations of what their marriage will be like actually contradict each other. Maybe Jekyll doesn’t even understand Emma’s sense of humour, and when she tries to make some sassy remark about a party guest, he just stares at her, nonplussed.

And then, when Jekyll and Utterson leave the engagement party for The Red Rat, you could have Jekyll confessing he’s a bit worried about how balancing his work with the duties of a family man is going to work out. And Utterson’s all, hey bro, I hear you, but it can’t be that bad, I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but once she inherits her father’s fortune, [insert ka-ching noise]... and then you could have Jekyll sheepishly admitting that Papa Carew’s fortune is something he indeed considered when proposing to Emma... but John, don’t get me wrong, it’s also that I’ve never met any woman I like as much as I like Emma, and isn’t that a perfectly respectable reason to get married to her?

And boom, then Jekyll meets Lucy, and she’s the one. He knows it immediately after seeing her: what he feels for Emma is nothing compared to this, this is the woman of his dreams, the only one for him, and no matter what he does or who he marries, he’ll never be able to put her away from his mind. (Shhh. I know it’s saccharine. I guess at heart, I’m a tragic romantic.)

Then, Jekyll’s dilemma becomes this: he knows that by breaking up with Emma, who’s already scandalised everybody by breaking off an engagement with Simon Stride, he would destroy her chances of ever getting married, and he cares for her enough that he doesn’t want to ruin her. He knows that by now, it’s his gentlemanly duty to go through with the wedding. What’s more, he obviously knows marrying a prostitute would destroy whatever credibility he still has in the London society – and if he ever wants to advance his career and make a real difference in the world, he cannot have that. He knows that a connection with the Carew family, and in time, Papa Carew’s fortune, would greatly help him to reach his professional goals.

And maybe Hyde treats Lucy badly not only because she prefers Jekyll to Hyde, but because somewhere deep inside, Jekyll and therefore Hyde is angry at her for existing – for destroying what would’ve otherwise been an okay-ish marriage and an okay-ish life. Because now that he knows her, he knows how true love (and lust) feels like, and a lukewarm existence simply will not do anymore.

What do you guys think? Does this make sense to you? Or if you really like Emma and Jekyll’s relationship in the musical and don’t think it should be changed, why is that, and what is it that I’m not getting about it? :D

#Jekyll and Hyde #Jekyll & Hyde #Henry Jekyll #Emma Carew #JH meta

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dystopiandilfs · 4 years ago

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I find it interesting how each Feral boy is with DreamSMP lore and how they approach it if they do. This is also some ideas and improvements. This is all my opinion and you don't have to agree or disagree.

Disclaimer this will be me using comparisons as it makes it easier to explain. This isn't me saying one person is better than another. Some might be negative points, some will be positive so no critical tags sorry. Even with me once again expressing my strong negative opinions on Tales. The idea is good the execution is not.

This is based off of multiple things; Character story, Character traits, Lore?, Plot holes, Fan theories, General enjoyment, Viewer impact, Clear goals etc

Dream seems to enjoy it the most as he offers to join everyone's lore as well as helping when he can and also trying to include others into "main" lore He also has managed to create a character with a full storyline without not once streaming from his perspective. He's very good at doing things that may seem small at the time but ends up having a huge impact. He manages to have a full storyline and a complete character but still leaves room for theories and headcanons for people to add on (Dreamon my beloved 💕). Because we don't see his perspective we don't know his intentions or goals so he's made his character detailed but mysterious which is actually quite difficult as he's the main character (Sorry Ranboo but it's true)

When it comes to acting he's very good at staying in character even when things get a bit scuffed obviously there's a few moments of breaking character but they're not him trying to get others to break character with jokes and voices they're genuine fuck ups (Accidentally blowing himself up and breaking character to both clear up confusion about it being canon and to switch from a tense atmosphere to give the audience a break for a bit and breaking character to say his Twitch handle after accidentally breaking TOS so George didn't get banned)

Dream said he's got a storyline from his perspective and it's all prerecorded which I'm excited for as I think it's going to be a bunch of flashbacks which could expand both character backstory but also create more storylines for people to bounce off of. For example if he did a flashback with some of the OG members they could build from that. It could give more of an explanation of why he changed. Essentially Dream's lore could be a bunch of behind the scene clips giving more lore for characters like him discussing the egg or prison with Sam, him and Punz talking more about the deal, him and Techno , him and Puffy, him and Ranboo. Dream is the main character because literally ever other character can do a flashback scene with him and build a whole storyline from it. For example Dreamon Hunters can be bought back in which already was linked to the Egg by Fundy. To sum it up Dream's lore from his perspective can not only made way for multiple new theories and headcanons but also is the easiest way for other characters to have more dimension even with a 20 second clip. And it gives more context to Dream as a character. Disclaimer this isn't me saying people can only be dimensional characters because of Dream I'm saying that Dream is the easiest way for someone to start a storyline that they can then work on if they want.

Quackity can do lore if he puts his mind to it. However it also has to rely on multiple things. Who the lore is with?, How serious is it? And What's the vibe? Basically if Quackity is with people who don't do serious lore or people who crack jokes often then his lore won't have that good quality lore I know it can be. For example Quackity's lore with Sam and Dream couldn't be replicated with most other people on the server. I can't even imagine if Karl and George were trying to do the prison lore. Even in Quackity's big stream you can see this difference Schlatt's bit dragged on and often got derailed because whilst they were both interested in the lore they weren't invested. The bit with BBH was a bit all over the place because they were both talking over each other and you could sort of tell it had little to no script or end goal but this was also partly down to them both being very into lore. They both tried to stick to their pre-existing character traits which clash Vs the Prison which had a clear script even if it was vague. Go to prison, convince Sam to bring weapons, Go torture Dream. Sam, Dream and Quackity are 3 of the most mysterious characters who have no clear plans, you can't predict their moves which is why any lore with them is good because they don't have a character personality that they have to stick to. For example Dream is known to adapt for each person so he could be nice one minute and demon child next.

Once Quackity has broken character he used to completely lose it. The vibe was gone however I was highly impressed with how he and Sam managed to keep the vibe when the prison broke. Previously Quackity would have lost his shit and derailed everything. I do think Quackity's strongest lore point is going with other strong lore members or just being on his own.

George and Sapnap I'm going to sort of link together. They both seen to be a bit meh on lore. I think it genuinely depends on what mood they're in. I also think that they'll both be much more comfortable doing lore that's prefilmed Vs live on stream.

Sapnap is very good at bouncing off of people so I think he'd be really good at lore with most people. I think Sapnap could definitely capitalise on the angst of being the abandoned one who is loyal to death but doesn't have the same in return. Like Dream both Sapnap and George are good at voice manipulation meaning if they want sad angst they can sound upset. Sapnap seems more tempted to do on the spot lore so he can't back out so that's another option. Like Sapnap has multiple headcanons handed to him and I know this bitch can act his little yeehaw soul out. Even if it's short clips talking to people like Punz or Sam who he seems closest to.

George has this strange ability to kickstart ideas for lore and then let's others build from it. (Also his ability for all of his lore to have a LGBTQ subtext like pack it up Dean Winchester) I genuinely don't think it's intentional however I think with a bit of thought he can have a general well rounded character. I know he did that lore the other day and has started to build up a character background however I think he's better with less serious lore people as I don't think he can do serious mood streams like Dream or Ranboo but can potentially hold it long enough for a bit like Techno or Phil. I think George's weakness is he'd rather someone else guide him through lore instead of doing it himself. Man really doesn't like being the main character.

Karl seems to want to do lore but doesn't have the ability to create it. He has all these ideas but can't form a proper story about it. I used to have this issue where I had all these cool bullet point ideas but I could never form a cool idea with them and I think Karl has the same issue. In my opinion if Karl does want to continue with Tales and bullet point ideas I think he needs help formulating a bit more of a story. Once again like Sapnap and George I think he excels in prerecorded lore however it's also either heavily scripted or he's having his hand held through it. Which is fine but that's why a lot of people can't connect Tales to DreamSMP as his streams are the only ones that are heavily scripted and it gives off a different vibe. Karl is also too bubbly to crack down on serious lore which is fine not all lore needs to be serious and angsty however he tries to make it deep. I personally think that Karl should capitalise on this uwu soft boy persona he has. No deep lore. Obviously choosing memory loss time travel involves serious moments but I think he needs to split it more between dark angst and wholesome Karlnapity moments. What I mean is that Karl on DreamSMP and Tales Karl seem like 2 completely different characters that just so happen to share a name. I think the prerecorded bit at the end needs to begin to add his DreamSMP personality a bit more.

TLDR: Dream is strongest lore, Quackity works best with serious lore with people invested or on his own with a bit of direction, Sapnap and George will probably be better off doing prerecorded lore as it seems more comfortable for them, Karl struggles to put his ideas into a storyline and would benefit from doing less heavily scripted pre recorded lore to make his storyline cohesive Vs a bunch of one shots.

To sum it up Dream is Hot and should bring back Dreamons, Quackity needs to work more with serious lore people, Sapnap should Capitalise on his loyalty trait and constant abandonment for maximum angst, George should cry on command more, Karl needs spend more time writing instead of paying for builds.

#dreamsmp #dreamwastaken #dream smp #georgenotfound #mcyt #sapnap #badboyhalo #tubbo #karl jacobs #philza #quackity #punz

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bedlamsbard · 5 years ago

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Putting aside aesthetics and characterization (inasmuch as I can), I have been trying to logic out why Mando Ahsoka feels so different from Rebels Ahsoka (to me, personally; I know many other people feel fine about it), especially in terms of having a character who’s known in Rebels for her “I am no Jedi” line going to a character who is specifically introduced as “The Jedi” in The Mandalorian. (And who is identified as “Ahsoka Tano, Jedi Knight” on merch -- merch is merch, it’s essentially meaningless, but it’s still a choice that was made somewhere along the line.)

“Shroud of Darkness,” Rebels 2.17

“Twilight of the Apprentice,” Rebels 2.21

This is strictly Doylist and not Watsonian; I don’t care what went on in the character’s life in between Rebels and Mando; I’m trying to guess what was happening in the writers room.

I was noodling through this on Twitter, in case it looks familiar.

My first thought was Dave taking a cut scene from Rebels as canon going into Mando, something he shared on Twitter back in the lead-up to S4. Looking at this again I’m not sure this was a cut scene or a scene that he wrote that never made it into the actual script. (Certainly I can’t see how it would have fit into the episode.)

Here Bendu specifically identifies Ahsoka as “former Jedi Knight.” This is also obviously not canon, because Twitter posts aren’t canon, Dave. (Though that doesn’t mean that he might have taken it as part of his working backstory for the character anyway.)

I was then thinking about TCW and the unused TCW arcs as they existed in 2016 when this aired (with the rough guess that Rebels S2 was probably written in 2014). There are three Ahsoka arcs that were written and existed in 2016 in some form (”scripts and some artwork” is what Pablo Hidalgo says, and some pre-viz and recordings from the original Walkabout arc that were shown at a couple Celebrations), but which hadn’t made it into S6 (which came out in 2014): Ahsoka’s Walkabout (in its original form with Nix Okami instead of the Martez sisters), the Siege of Mandalore, and an arc which would have taken place between those two, “Return to the Jedi.” We know about these because of a panel from Star Wars Celebration Europe in 2016 called Ahsoka’s Untold Tales -- I was actually at this panel, but I haven’t thought about it in a while. Here’s the SW.com liveblog of it; here’s the video.

I remember hearing somewhere that the TCW team had nine seasons or so written, but can’t find the source for that number now. When S7 was made, there were obviously a lot of compromises made that we’ll never really know about, minus a tell-all memoir or documentary, which probably isn’t coming any time soon. Knowing that this Return to the Jedi arc existed, I wondered if at one point Dave had tried to get all three Ahsoka arcs into S7 before having to give one up for the Bad Batch arc (especially as we now know there’s going to be a Bad Batch TV show); it’s also entirely possible that at one point in the production process there was the possibility of a full 22 episode season floated, which would have made three Ahsoka arcs in one season less unbalanced.

I went to go look up what the Return to the Jedi arc actually was, since 2016 was a long time ago and I haven’t really thought about this panel since. My guess is that it had been intended for one Ahsoka arc per remaining season (7, 8, 9). Pablo Hidalgo says that after the Walkabout arc, Ahsoka would have stayed on Coruscant as “an under-city vigilante of some degree, helping people who can’t help themselves,” and Dave points out that he talked about this with George Lucas, as well. The Return of the Jedi arc would have involved Ahsoka finding out about a nefarious plot targeting Yoda and working with the Jedi to figure out what’s what with that -- this revealed that below the Jedi Temple was an ancient Sith shrine. (Some details of this were revealed at Star Wars Celebration Anaheim in 2015.)

Ahsoka would have been protecting the holocron vault from Darth Sidious, putting her lightsaber blade through the door while Palps shoots Force lightning up the blade.

“The whole purpose of that particular arc would have been to bring Ahsoka back. She’s not a Jedi, she doesn’t change her decision, but she gets involved in Jedi business again.”

The next Ahsoka arc and the final arc of the series would have been the Siege of Mandalore arc, which “reunites Ahsoka with the clone troopers, with Anakin.” My guess is that the end of the Return to the Jedi arc would have involved Ahsoka making the decision to go to Mandalore because the Jedi themselves couldn’t get involved in that conflict at the time (especially the emphasis in the panel that Pablo and Dave put on Ahsoka as being “a responsible person” who couldn’t ignore that the war was still going on, and because Ahsoka knew Satine). (It would be interesting to know when if this arc would have fallen before or after the Darth Maul - Son of Dathomir comics, which are based off another unmade TCW arc.) This would probably have put as much as a season between this arc and the final arc -- given TCW’s funky timeline that doesn’t mean much, but in terms of audience expectation it helps.

(also, damn, the context of the beginning of Siege of Mandalore in the original concept vs. how it actually happens in S7 is very different -- like, on the surface identical but the emotions involved are totally different.)

Before going into the next part of the panel (post-war), Pablo Hidalgo adds “We consider it to have happened and that’s how we inform the writing in Rebels, because that’s the history that these characters carry in their heads.”

So going into Rebels, the writing team was working with the background that Ahsoka had not only left the Jedi Order once, in “The Wrong Jedi,” but had reinforced her decision not to go back to the Jedi by not returning to the Order during the Return to the Jedi arc. That explains why in Rebels she’s so adamant about not being a Jedi or being in the Order; it’s a decision that she has made not once, but twice.

Fast forward four years to 2020, where we have the Siege of Mandalore arc in S7.

It’s heavily implied that Ahsoka was planning to go back to the Order after the end of the war, and in fact Yoda treats her as such.

Now, there’s no way to know if this exchange was in the original Siege of Mandalore scripts short of those being released at some point (which is possible but seems unlikely when the character is still in play), but because of the way S7 plays out there is no way to put the Return to the Jedi arc back into the story, which means all the emotional context and Ahsoka doubling down on not returning to the Order is thrown out of the window. That’s a fair chunk of backstory to take into the Rebels writers room.

(It should also be noted that presumably E.K. Johnston wrote the Ahsoka novel with the assumption that that arc was still part of Ahsoka’s working canon, though she may not have seen scripts for it; I feel like I read somewhere that she had seen scripts for the original version of the Siege of Mandalore, which changed quite a lot between original concept and the eventual 2020 version, as is evident from the novel vs the show.)

Going into The Mandalorian, then, Dave Filoni is not only working without a writers room (as Mando has only had two writers, Dave Filoni and Jon Favreau), but working with an entirely different continuity than what the Rebels writers room was working with.

Trying to backtrack when various scripts were written is an exercise in futility to some extent; I usually guess anywhere from a year to two years out from when the shows air. (I seem to remember that around this time in 2016 it came out that Katee Sackhoff was doing something for Disney, which ended up being the recording for Bo-Katan in Rebels S4, which wouldn’t air for another year, but don’t quote me on these dates.) Dave ends the panel by saying that “After the season 2 finale for Rebels I was very adamant that that was it for Ahsoka...in Rebels...but after this reaction it might just be possible...it might be possible to see her again. She might have something to do. Maybe.” (For those trying to run dates in their heads: the con was in July 2016, the season 2 finale aired in March 2016, WBW aired in February 2018.) My guess is that they hadn’t recorded for that part of S4 yet (and S4 is so weirdly paced that I have questions about how it was made), but that the initial scripts for S4 had already been written at this point.

Looking back at the Star Wars Celebration Chicago 2019 TCW panel where Ashley Eckstein talks about getting the news about TCW S7 from Dee Bradley Baker (rather than from Dave Filoni, and hoo boy is this uncomfortable to watch knowing that the script for “The Jedi” had almost certainly been written and Dave may have already made the decision not to talk to Ashley about it), there’s still not like...a clear way to tell when that happened. Except that Dee talks about “wine tasting with the Rebels,” which likely puts it back when Rebels S4 was either still actively airing (2017-2018) or before it had wrapped filming (2017). (I actually vaguely remember seeing pictures from this wine tasting but I can’t remember whose twitter it was on and going to look feels creepy.) Probably the scripts weren’t fully revised at that point but they may have been -- still, this was certainly after S2 and could potentially be before S4 had been fully finalized. We got the TCW renewal announcement in 2019, but the animation wasn’t fully completed yet so didn’t get more than that teaser trailer. This is only important insofar as it involves which set of backstory was being used for WBW Ahsoka, an episode that Dave Filoni wrote and co-directed. (Honestly? I think Mando Ahsoka matches okay with WBW Ahsoka but is a little off Rebels S2 Ahsoka, but that’s off my memory of WBW, an episode I refuse to rewatch.) Certainly with the epilogue he knew he was setting up for something else.

ETA: I FORGOT AN IMPORTANT PART OF THIS TIMELINE AND THAT’S THE RISE OF SKYWALKER because I try not to think about TROS, frankly, but as we may remember Ahsoka is included in the “be with me” scene in the final confrontation. This always struck me as weird given the “I am no Jedi” thing from Rebels, but she’s the most well-known female Force-user so I had just mentally written it off as easy shorthand and JJ Abrams being lazy about it. HOWEVER, presumably JJ talked to Dave about which prequel era Jedi to include (there’s a note in one of the previous SWC liveblogs about Rian Johnson being in the Rebels writers room at some point). TROS came out in December 2019, I can’t recall exactly when they did the voiceovers for that scene (if anyone has ever mentioned it), but it was probably fairly late in the process since I believe that there were still edits being made up until fairly soon before the premiere. (I have a completely different theory that the Lego Star Wars Holiday Special from this year was written off an earlier version of TROS.) If Dave had already moved towards making Ahsoka more inclined towards the Jedi, with a full-on return to calling herself one regardless of the existence of the Order (as Mando implies), then her inclusion here makes a LOT more sense than it did a year ago.

Anyway this is all very conspiracy theorist, but it does explain something that was puzzling me: Rebels S2 Ahsoka and Mando Ahsoka (as well as TCW S7 Ahsoka and potentially Rebels S4 Ahsoka) were written off slightly different backstories which differed in one very key thing: how committed Ahsoka was to no longer being a Jedi.

Now, this sort of thing happens all the time in anything with an ongoing continuity; obviously TCW makes major changes to how viewers might read or write Obi-Wan and Anakin/Vader in RotS or the OT. I was just trying to narrow it down in this particular case because until I started thinking about it I had assumed that it was all being written off the same assumed backstory. And many people read Ahsoka differently in Mando than I did or found her perfectly in character, this was for me to track references down about something that was bothering me in hopes of an explanation that would satisfy me.

#bedlam watches the mandalorian #bedlam watches tcw #bedlam watches rebels #mando the jedi #btw this is the same sort of thing I do for academic work this stuff is just easier because I remember it better #and can google it which I usually can't for scholarship

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littlerockerao3 · 5 years ago

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I want to express my opinion about the whole Robb & Jeyne that became Robb & Talisa in the show.

Now, even though I watched the show before reading the books, I honestly still can’t get over how hbo ruined this character, making him look like an idiot and horny dude, instead of a young boy who did the best he could. A young boy whose father just died, whose best friend had betrayed him and apparently killed his little brothers, while his sisters were far away and in danger. I hate that hbo wanted to create the ‘tragic lovers’ background story. I hate that when Cat was trying to get some sense into him, his answer was ‘I love her”. This is a huge difference between show!Robb and book!Robb. If Grrm wanted to write the ‘tragic lovers’ thing, he still wouldn’t have made him marry Talisa. Because it’s just not Robb-like to do something like this, to marry a girl just because she’s good looking while he’s in the middle of a war and needs as much help as possible. It’s not Robb-like to marry a girl he loves when he has to marry soemeone else, in the middle of a war. Book!Robb instead did know that marrying Jeyne was risky, but he still did that to protect her, not because he was madly in love with her after knowing her for three days and hooking up with her. Robb is half Stark and half Tully, so he just didn’t want to dishonor Jeyne. But I think we all know this, how the book went like. I do not think he was in love with her, maybe he could have been later on, if he had lived. Again, he married her to protect her, not because he liked her and thought ‘I can do whatever the fuck I want’. Yet, in the books he was a sixteen year old king who barely even had the time to mourn the death of his loved ones. In the show, he doesn’t remotely even seem to care about his loved ones (after a minute of breakdown for Ned’s death yeah but like fifteen seconds, fuck the script), because he has a hot girl by his side (I’m not criticizing the actors, I’m criticizing the script, let’s make this clear). In the show, what I saw was a guy who didn’t care about his actions and did what he wanted, in the books, what I saw was a young boy that just wanted to protect someone. I still think he shouldn’t have married Jeyne, but he did have a reason to, show Robb didn’t. And this is what makes 16 year old book!Robb more mature and better than 20 year old show!Robb, because book!Robb made that decision in order to help someone else after making a mistake, show!Robb made that decision because he refused to marry an apparently not so good looking stranger and wanted to marry a good looking one instead.

And what bothers me is that, uuuuugh why did they have to change that? All the ‘we called her Talisa because she didn’t look like Jeyne’, who the fuck cares, show!Daario is still called Daario and yet he’s nothing like book!Daario. They could have still casted Talisa’s actress and called her Jeyne and following the original plotline. Maybe they could still have let her die at the Red Wedding, diverging from the books, but they shouldn’t have made Robb look that selfish, because he wasn’t. He never was. And that’s probably what hurt me the most once he died in the books.

Also, another thing that’s bothering me is that the show wanted to make Talisa look like a smart woman, which she was, because she did have some good lines, I seem to remember. Yet, if she’s that smart why didn’t she tell robb ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ Why did she agree to marry him? She didn’t even exist in the books yet they ruined her character too.

I could go on for months and write an essay as long as ASOS about just this but I feel like I might end it here, for now.

#robb stark #jeyne westerling #talisa maegyr #game of thrones #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #book!robb is better than show!robb #richard madden is a wonderful actor #i don’t remeber talisa’s actress’ acting but i have nothing against her either #im just mad at the script #asoiaf opinions

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twilightprince101 · 4 years ago

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It’s been a while since I’ve drawn, much less created a new OC! But recently I’ve succumbed to Bugsnax brainrot, so introducing Brandy Brittleshoot!

Brandy is a freelance writer and editor, working on several different projects at once before coming to Snaktooth Island. Alongside decently good hearing he has an intense curiosity for the world, often experimenting with different Snakified limbs to get inspiration for his latest story! (Just be prepared if you ask them about it, you’ll be stuck there ‘till nightfall).

I also filled out an interview prompt of him under the cut from @cosmicheartz , so check that out if you’re interested and feel free to shoot any asks about them! I’d love to talk a bit more about my newest character!

Who are you?

I’m Brandy Brittleshoot, I’m a freelance writer! Editing articles, typing out scripts, writing for dating sims, I’ve done a lot!

( How long have you been writing for? )

How long? Hehe, honestly I can’t even remember. One of my earliest memories was me writing an alternate ending to a book that had a crummy finale. I was so upset and whined so loud at a last minute plot twist that my dad sat me down in front of a notebook with a pencil so he could focus on his work. Though, I don’t think he expected me to actually write something decent! Never underestimate the power of an upset fan!!

( Anything in particular you’re writing now? )

Oh a handful of things! I have like, a million story ideas sitting on the backburn, but right now? I’m outlining a story idea I got for my latest novel! The details are a little hazy right now, but it’s all about an island of shapeshifters who can change into whatever they want. But of course, in a world like that there’d be lots of chaos if there were just like, a bunch of dragons flying around everywhere (who wouldn’t want to be a dragon) so there’s the government trying to limit it somewhat and there’s this one girl who-! Oh, grump! Sorry, um, still working on that.

Why come to Snacktooth island?

Oh Lizbert’s to thank for that! A while back I helped with putting out her story about Grumplantis! She saw a bit of the work I was doing at the time and, for some reason, decided I should help her out! Still have no idea why she chose me to help edit especially considering I was writing Grumpus Croft fan fiction at the time, but to think I’d get to help publish official findings about a lost civilization!!! I didn’t even care about the money, just the thought of working together with an explorer like that is just-!

( *Ahem…* But, what about Snacktooth? )

Oh right, that! Well, long story short she thought the work I did was good and invited me to come along as a way to say thanks since she didn’t exactly have the funds to pay for my work. Obviously I couldn’t pass up an opportunity that big, getting firsthand experience with an actual adventurer! So I dropped what I was doing, packed up and came right along with her!

Thoughts on bugsnax?

Duuude, okay. So imagine me, a writer who absolutely loves fantasy, lands on this island and finds out that fantasy actually exists! And is edible!!! I get to know what fantasy tastes like!!! This whole island is walking through one big fantasy novel and I have gotten nothing but inspiration since I’ve gotten here, it’s amazing!

( What does fantasy taste like? )

Okay, it’s like--actually, hang on, it would be faster if I just read this excerpt I wrote down a bit ago instead of trying to explain. *ahem.* ‘Upon the first bite of the plump and crispy Bunger, a dazzling fireworks show of flavor cascades into my mouth and paints a nova onto my taste buds. Each crunch a new explosion, a new flavor, a new color streaming across the sky’s canvas and dazzling me like a nova-’ oop, put nova twice there… ‘-Dazzling me like a child’s first glimpse at the night sky’s expanse! A symphony of crackles for me to experience alone, and by the time the last stream of light fizzled out, I’m ready to light the fuse for an encore.’ And that was just for the Bungers!

Why did you leave town?

Hoooh boy okay, bit of a loaded question there… After Lizbert and Batternugget vanished I tried to keep calm and keep doing what I was doing, wait for them to get back. But as the Bugsnax ran out and people got hungry, it was a bit hard to keep doing that… especially with all the noise...

( You’re referring to the fight? )

More or less yeah. I could hear pretty much everything from inside my cabin: Everyone ganging up against Cromdo, Chandlo calming down Snorpy from a panic attack, Filbo doing his best to keep everything together (can’t blame the guy for trying). Good hearing is both a blessing and a curse I guess… but the worst no doubt was Wiggle.

( What was up with Wiggle? )

Well, I do like her music, don’t get me wrong. But since coming to the island I can’t exactly handle being in the same room with her. She tried getting me to write her some song lyrics for exposure, kept peeking at my writing notes to steal my ideas, and worst of all, she stress yodels. And around the time the two vanished, she certainly had a lot of time to practice. I already couldn’t handle the fighting, but her singing was the last straw, so I slipped out in the middle of the night before I had to hear another note. Erm... you don't think she'll sue me for defamation if you put this in your story, will she?

Any info on Lizbert?

Duuude, Lizbert is no doubt the coolest person I know--probably ever! It’s like she jumped right out of an action movie and I could actually talk with her! She was really nice, telling me about a lot of her previous adventures in her free time and supporting me when I was going through writer’s block. Of course, she wasn’t around too much when she was out hunting snax, but Doctor Batternugget was around!

( Did you and Doctor B.N. get along? )

Yeah Miss Nugget was really nice! She was usually quiet when Lizbert wasn’t around, but after keeping her company one day and helping her sort supplies we got to talk a lot. She even volunteered to read some of my story drafts in her downtime--without me asking first too!! Plus, she also was a good resource to go to when I was writing about… more graphic details regarding Grumpus anatomy. I know a lot of people say that they might not come back, but I know they’re out there somewhere I know it! I mean come on, an adventurous explorer and her nurse girlfriend? That just SCREAMS main character plot armor! Plus, it would seriously suck if I finally find people eager to read my work on their own, then they just vanish from my life altogether… Please be okay Miss Batternugget…

Tape’s almost dry Brandy, gotta wrap this up soon!

Oh thanks for the interview! First one I’ve ever gotten, certainly a learning experience! (Maybe I could make a story entirely using interviews, that could be cool). I’m just sorry for talking your ear off. Hey, I know you’re kind of a solo worker from watching you run around, but if you’d like I can try and help with editing this story when you head back to the mainland. Free of charge too, I know you guys at GNN aren’t exactly treated the best. Not to mention it would look really good on both our resumes if we collaborated for this kinda story!

#bugsnax #wiggle wigglebottom #brandy brittleshoot #elizabert megafig #eggabell batternugget #my writing #my writings #my oc #my ocs #twi talks #((god it's been so long since I made a new OC since Twi #Bugsnax has really helped me out in getting the creativity flowing again #also I must make this clear:#B U N G E R))

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bastillewolf · 5 years ago

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It’s More About Looks Than Skill (VIII)

Pairing: Ryuk/Reader

Summary: Ryuk finds himself gaining feelings for Light Yagami’s best friend, but she doesn’t know he exists. When he makes the grave mistake of touching her, he makes things a lot more complicated.

Notes: I’m back... I told you I wasn’t giving up on this fic, I just needed some time to get over myself. I’ve plotted down the whole story and its ending, so you don’t have to worry about me not finishing this. It might take some time, but I’ll try not to post once every two months. Sorry, once again!

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list! If I wasn’t able to tag you, please check your settings and send me another ask.

@sarai-ibn-la-ahad, @rustypotatospork @mantisandthemoondragon @baby-queen-girl @itscalledtrust @emilyshurley @killtherandomness @selmeuuh @felicity291 @mahou-no-momo @bakarinnie @beccawinter @chantelle-c333 @ria-demon29

Chapter VIII

It wasn’t until she’d said goodbye to Soichiro and stepped through the hospital doors into the night’s breeze, did she hear Light speak again. She was standing miraculously placed behind a large bush, where they wouldn’t notice her. It seemed the young man waited to see if anyone stepped through the doors before deciding to continue his talk with the God of death hovering in the air behind him.

“Ryuk.”

“Hm?”

“I never once felt cursed since I picked up the Death Note. In fact, the thought never even crossed my mind. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, all thanks to this power. I’m going to create a perfect world.”

“Honestly, I could care less whether you feel cursed or happy to have a notebook. I’ll leave that sentimental crap to you humans. But… Normally humans who come into contact with a Shinigami have nothing but misfortune.”

“That’s interesting. But I have no intentions of repeating that pattern.”

She only allowed her lungs to release the air they’d been holding long after she could no longer hear his footsteps walking off. And only then did she allow herself to finally feel what she’d felt in the pit of her stomach all this time; fear.

***

“Are you seeing this?” Lights voice carried over the walkie-talkie, but her attention was directed entirely towards what the TV in front of her was broadcasting. Since phones had become a danger as of late, she’d suggested going for a more old-school approach, if it was only to be able to contact Light when her house was feeling a bit too empty. Which was happening more and more frequently.

She hummed in response.

“Even if you don’t agree with me, all I ask is that you not publicise your views in the media. If you can do that, you will be spared. All you have to do now, is be patient. I will create a better world that we can all enjoy. Say goodbye to the world as you know it. Soon, we’ll have a new world ruled by benevolence inhabited by kind-hearted, honest people. Try to imagine it; a world where the police and I-“

“Switch channels. Now.”

She did as was asked of her, and was faced with the collapsed figure of Ukita, a taskforce member she’d just met only a few days prior. “Light… you didn’t-?”

“Of course it’s not me, you fool. I wouldn’t be so reckless. Now L will think I don’t need a name to kill someone. This impersonator is ruining all my plans!”

“Calm down, Light. This might work in our favour. You and I both know L will take all possibilities into consideration, so it could very well be that he’s already figured out about this person acting as a second Kira.”

“Ryuk-“ she heard some muffled noises in the background, “-didn’t give another Death Note to anyone, did you?”

“I only had two,” she could make out, “and I’m surely not stupid enough to give away my second one.”

“Light, please look back at the screen.”

“Hm?”

“A vehicle has just driven through the front of the station!”

“Well, that’s one way to stop the broadcast.”

It took a while, but eventually a police car arrived at the scene. And another, and another, until the whole building was surrounded.

“That’s… Soichiro? Light, that’s your father!”

“There you have it! The police refused to cooperate with Kira! Instead, they are prepared to fight. And, as much as I fear for my own life while saying so, this is right, and it must be done! Kira has become a very threat to our constitution, and as citizens, we must fight back. I am NHN’s Golden News anchor, Kouki Tanakabara.”

***

“I can only say it’s a shame that the answer is no, it’s clear that the police wish to oppose me.”

“How and why is this being broadcasted?” she asked, scooting Light’s chair closer to the television on his desk. It was the next day, and Sakura TV was airing the Kira imposer’s tapes once more.

“This will not go unpunished. So, I’ll start by either taking the life of the director-general of the NPA, or the detective known as L, who is currently leading the investigation against me. The director-general, or L? Who will pay the price in your refusal to cooperate in the creation of a peaceful world? You have four days to decide.”

Light let out a small chuckle. “You were right all along. There is no need to worry.”

“Really?”

“It would appear that another Shinigami has come to the human world, and somehow that Shinigami’s Death Note has fallen into the hands of someone who agrees with Kira. And this person most likely the Shinigami Eyes, which makes him very deadly. His power to kill surpasses even mine.”

“Or her,” she corrected him, to which he rolled his eyes.

“One thing is for certain, if I leave things I’m pretty sure L will be finished off within the next four days. However, I can’t forgive this imposter for the way he’s tarnishing Kira’s image with his senseless killings. Not to mention if he slips and gets caught, the Death Note will be discovered and that I can’t allow. I cannot afford to leave him alone for much longer.”

“Oh, now I definitely hope it’s a girl. If only to watch you struggle.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t struggle with girls,” he protested.

“You’re right. But let’s just say that it wouldn’t surprise me if you turned out gay.”

“Please do shut up.”

***

It wasn’t long before L had invited both of them to his secret location. They were currently standing in front of the quirky hotel, after a reasonably lengthy train ride.

“I suppose your father couldn’t have just picked us up?” she asked.

Light shook his head. “That would’ve looked too suspicious. Right now, it just looks like we’re trying to escape our parents by booking a hotel room.”

“Aw, Light,” she cooed, latching onto his arm playfully, “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

He pulled up his nose in irritation, and she felt the Shinigami that had been holding her hand subtly stiffen. “What- what does that mean?”

“Don’t even bother asking, Ryuk,” Light replied.

“I’ll remind you to behave, Light,” she reminded him, “L probably knows this Kira is a copycat because of the fact that they didn’t need a name to kill the person, and you’d do well to think about the possibility that he might have wanted for that last tape to be broadcasted. I’m not sure how you’re going to get out of this one, as you can either choose to be ignorant, or speak up about your ‘deductions’.”

“Hm.”

“God, I hope it’s gonna be a girl.”

***

A short introduction followed between Light and the task force, as she simply gave them all a polite smile. She’d told Light briefly about them, as they’d met once or twice when she had her meetings in the café with L beforehand. At first, Light had been appalled by the fact that she knew more about these men that he did, but eventually did accept the fact that he now had someone who was apparently a more trusted figure in L’s mind.

And as expected, tapes were shown to both of them.

“Do you mind if I ask Light to make his deductions first?” L asked her.

She shook her head. “I understand. You’ve talked to me more than you have with Light. Go ahead.”

“So, what do you make of this, Light? Have you come to any conclusions?”

…

…It’s a test.

“It’s hard to say, but there might be another person out there with Kira’s power.”

And so it begins.

You may also write the cause and/or details of death prior to filling in the name of the individual. Be sure to insert the name in front of the written cause of death. You have about 19 days (according to the human calendar) in order to fill in a name.

“Are you sure you’re gonna pull this off? Pretending to be Kira, I mean?” she nudged him jokingly.

“I sure hope so. As long as I don’t start stuttering like I used to when I was a kid while we go live,” Light replied, almost too innocently. She knew all he wanted to do right now was strangle her for her comment, which is why she made it now; so he couldn’t.

“You used to stutter? Doesn’t seem very like you, Light,” L noted.

“Oh, he did,” Soichiro fondly recalled, “I remember those two reading out loud in Light’s room, giving a presentation to a whole group of stuffed animals, until he stuttered no more. I was so proud of you that day.”

Light shifted in embarrassment, clearly wanting this conversation to go back to business. “Ryuuzaki, does this look okay? I think I managed to make it believable.”

L picked up the sheet of paper. “Hm, I think you’ve done an excellent job with this. However, if we don’t omit the part that says, ‘you’re free to kill L’, then I’m gonna end up dead.”

What a dumbass.

Light laughed accordingly, “Sorry, I guess I got carried away playing the part. I figured if I was him I’d probably demand that he be killed. I was improvising, feel free to change it to whatever you like.”

“Sounds good. Say, just to make sure nothing happens, I’d have Aihara read the script during broadcast. It’s just as a precaution.”

“Of course.”

What a shame.

***

They’d sat down in front of the television once more, which seemed to be a more regular occurrence these days. Soichiro met her gaze.

“Sweetheart, do you have any idea when your parents are coming back?”

She shook her head, “They usually let me know the day before. Their schedules are too erratic these days to be able to plan home visits ahead.”

She knew he pitied her when she’d said ‘home visits’. Parents shouldn’t be visiting their home. They should visit work, and be home.

“But they let me know they’re getting all of the divorce papers finalized, and that because of their absence they think it would be best to keep the house until I move out.”

“Your parents are getting divorced?” Light asked, genuinely surprised, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She shrugged. “They told me when we still weren’t on speaking terms because of our fight. Guess it slipped my mind.”

“Well, you’re always welcome to stay at our house, if you’re missing the comfort,” Soichiro reminded her, for which she was grateful. “I was wondering though - and please tell me if I’m stepping out of line here - haven’t you connected with anyone else yet in school?”

“…Connected, sir?”

“W-Well, you know what I mean-“

“…Oh, uh- No, not really.”

“Well, it’s not any of my business anyway, but while your father is gone, please do tell me if you need me to give a young man a stern look.”

She giggled quietly, her cheeks reddening. “Thank you, mister Yagami. But I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“That reminds me,” Light said, “I think I kind of promised someone you’d go out with them.”

“What?”

Ryuk held his breath.

#Death Note #dn #L #lawliet #ryuk #ryuk x reader #light #light yagami #yagami light #ryuzaki #light x reader #l x reader #lawliet x reader #shinigami #anime #manga #god of death #It's More About Looks Than Skill #imalts

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flowercrown-bard · 4 years ago

Text

A new us will begin (10/ ?)

word count: 6k

AO3

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / part 8 / part 9 / part 11

Slowly, the snow began to thaw as winter melted into spring.

Dandy had only asked him to stay for the cold months. There had never been any talk of Geralt staying any longer than that.

He did it anyway. No one mentioned it and maybe it was just Geralt’s imagination, but when the first flowers bloomed and Geralt was still with the troupe, the smiles they gave him were warmer and when Nadine hugged him one morning, before he went away for a bit for an easy contract, it felt like a hug that welcomed him to the family.

It took a while to convince Dandy that the contracts Geralt took while the others performed, were nowhere near as dangerous as his fight with the skullwarg. It took even longer until Dandy’s worry for him turned into giddy curiosity.

Dandy kept insisting that Geralt had to give him all the details of his hunts, so that he could stop worrying about him. Geralt gladly obliged.

There was a fluttering in Geralt’s chest like a bird’s wings, when Dandy first announced that he was going to write another play, this one about monsters and witchers.

Watching him work was like watching the sky change colours when the sun rose. Breathtaking, no matter how often he got to witness it.

Sometimes, Dandy dictated the lines his mind created to Geralt or one of the other players. Other times, he wrote them down himself, in a scrip that Geralt had never seen before. The rest of the troupe knew how to read it though, for Nadine read over Dandy’s scripts with a critical eye and gave suggestions where she saw fit.

More and more often, Dandy also asked Geralt for his opinion on what he was writing. His mouth formed a surprised “Oh” when Geralt reminded him that he didn’t know how to read what Dandy wrote.

From then on, Geralt spent most of their evenings after the performances or the fight scene rehearsals with Dandy, who taught him patiently how to read the way he did.

“Here,” Dandy said, when he was satisfied with Geralt’s progress on recognising individual letters. Out of a pocket in his coat, he produced a single sheet of paper and handed it to Geralt. “This was the first thing I ever wrote.”

Geralt hesitated, before unfolding the paper carefully. “You always carry this with you?”

Dandy hummed in affirmation. “I almost left it for my parents to keep. They were so proud when I finally learned to write and read. My mother actually cried and my father hugged me so tightly I thought he was going to break my back.”

A soft smile spread across Dandy’s lips and his fingers gently ran over the paper, tracing the word he had written there decades ago.

It did something strange to Geralt’s chest. “Why did you keep it then?”

“As a reminder. Of my parents.”

Geralt’s hands clenched and unclenched, not knowing what to do.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally, placing one hand over Dandy’s. “I know you never mention them, but…if you want to talk about it…”

Dandy’s sudden laughter startled Geralt.

“Oh, no no, they aren’t dead or anything like that.” Dandy turned his hand to guide Geralt’s fingers to the thing he had written there. “Here, read that.”

Geralt did as he was told. “Leon Nowak, Baron of Whitecoast?” Geralt looked up at Dandy to see if he had read it correctly. Dandy beamed and pressed a kiss against Geralt’s cheek. It was a fleeting little peck, nothing more, but Geralt wished it would linger, wished he could just lean down and steal a real kiss from Dandy.

Instead he ran his fingers over the name again.

“Who is that?” Geralt asked.

“Oh.” Dandy waved his hand around, accidentally – or perhaps not so accidentally – swatting Geralt’s chest in the process. “That’s me.”

Geralt’s brows shot up. “You’re a baron? I thought you said you weren’t rich?”

“Well, it’s true. I’m not. My parents are.”

Geralt’s jaw clenched. “They didn’t disinherit you, did they? Because you’re…”

“No. Gods, no they would never do that.” Dandy looked affronted by the very notion. “If I wrote them a letter asking for money, they wouldn’t hesitate to send me a small fortune They even offered the troupe their patronage, should we ever be in need of it.” He let out a small, content sigh. “But I don’t want that. Don’t get me wrong, having money is nice and I love visiting them and not sleeping in a wagon or an inn for once. But I like earning my own coin. Even if it’s not nearly as much as they could give me.”

Geralt gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “You’re good at acting. You seem happy when you’re on stage.”

“I am.” Pride tinged his voice that made Geralt’s heart flutter like a hummingbird’s wings. “It’s really important to me being able to do that.” He let out a short laugh. “I can’t say my parents weren’t worried when I announced that I wanted to travel, but they have supported me every step along the way until I could support myself.”

Geralt ran his fingers over the bumps and dots that were Dandy’s name once more. “They taught you how to write.”

“Eh, not exactly. They had no idea that this kind of script even existed. But they have wealth and influence and they love me enough to use it to get me the best tutor they could find. A sorceress, if you can believe it.”

Geralt’s breath hitched. “What? Sorceresses don’t just become tutors. They are at court or work for the lodge or –“

“Yeah, believe me, I have no idea why Philippa agreed to teach me.”

Geralt’s heart skipped a beat and his blood turning cold. “Philippa Eilhart?”

Dandy drew back in surprise. “You have heard of her?”

“I know her.” I asked her if reincarnation could be possible. I asked her if you could still be alive.

A strange expression flickered over Dandy’s face. “That makes a lot of sense, actually. She talked about you a lot. I always wondered by she kept insisting that should I meet a witcher I should go with him.”

Geralt’s mind was racing, unable to grasp what Dandy was saying.

“She said…that’s why you reacted like that when you found out I was a witcher.” The realisation hit Geralt like a punch, leaving him breathless. “When I told you who I was, you said you needed to think, but you didn’t hesitate to ask me to come back.”

Dandy scooted closer again. “I did. But, Geralt, believe me, I didn’t just ask you to come back because Philippa had told me to. I mean, that was a part of it, sure, but I also wanted to get to know you. And I’m glad I did.”

“I-yeah. I’m glad too.” His thumb caressed Dandy’s knuckles, a soft, soothing motion that was more for Geralt’s benefit than Dandy’s. There was too much to think about, too much he didn’t understand. How long had Philippa known that Geralt’s theory of the reincarnation had been true? And why had she agreed to tutor Dandy without telling anyone who he was?

Knowing that the sorceress had a hand in Dandy’s life, perhaps even orchestrating the way his life would go, left Geralt with a sense of unease. Especially since it was Philippa. The sorceress had never done him any intentional harm, but not once in the long time they have known each other, had she been open about her goals, always playing a different game than anybody else.

“Geralt?” Dandy asked tentatively, when Geralt had been quiet for too long.

Geralt forced himself to snap out of his crushing thoughts and put as much teasing as he could in his voice as he said, “I just have one more question. Why Dandy? Out of all the new names you could have chosen for yourself, why this?”

Dandy let out a bark of laughter, burying his face in Geralt’s shoulder. “I know. It’s a terrible name. In my defence, I didn’t exactly come up with it myself. Technically.”

Geralt chuckled. “It’s not a terrible name. I think it suits you.”

Dandy poked a finger in Geralt’s side with a little growl. “Don’t let Mika hear you say that or I’ll never get to hear the end of it.”

Geralt gave a questioning grunt to which Dandy replied with an overly dramatic sigh.

“You see, when I joined the troupe, I wanted to give myself a stage name.”

“Naturally.”

“Exactly! Good to know we’re on the same page.” Dandy stopped poking Geralt, instead sprawling his fingers across Geralt’s side. “I wanted to call myself Dandelion. You know, sort of as a little wink to my given name. Dande-Leon, as it were.”

Geralt didn’t even try to supress the snort. “That’s a terrible pun.”

“Ah the others agree with you there. No one appreciates my remarkable wit and humour.” He let out an exaggerated sigh. “They kept teasing me about being all posh and a dandy when I first joined and somehow that name stuck. Oh, you wouldn’t believe how indignant I was when they started calling me Dandy, but…it was also nice. I’ve never really had friends that would tease me before. Maybe it was because no one wanted to piss off a baron or maybe they thought they needed to be extra careful with me because I’m blind. But the way the troupe talks to me and teases me…it makes me feel like I really, truly belonge.” He nuzzled closer into Geralt and Geralt wasn’t sure if he imagined the stifled sniffle. “And to be fair, Dandelion probably wouldn’t have been the best name.”

“I think it would be a fitting name,” Geralt said softly, stroking Dandy’s hair soothingly. “It’s always the yellow flowers with you, isn’t it?”

The words escaped him without thinking. Dandy’s brows furrowed in confusion, but then he snorted.

“I wouldn’t know about that, now, would I?” He tightened his hold on Geralt.

Geralt hummed in contemplation. “It still fits. My friend always used to wish on Dandelions. Just small things that would come true anyway. ‘I wish for the next performance to go well.’ Or ‘I wish that Roach will start recognising me as a friend and stop trying to bite my fingers.’”

Dandy’s shoulders shook with a chuckle. “Those sound like great wishes. Did they come true?”

“Hmm. He always said they did. But I am pretty sure he just snuck Roach treats behind my back until she started liking him.”

“Sounds like a wise man. If Roach didn’t already love me, I might have tried the same thing. But why would Dandelion be fitting for me then?”

“Because being here with you is everything I could have wished for.”

“You did it!” Dandy beamed with pride. “You read your first play!”

Geralt grunted, but Dandy’s joy was contagious. “With a lot of corrections and help from you. And it was a short play.”

“So?” Dandy nudged Geralt with his shoulder. “You still did it. I can’t believe you really learned to read like that for me.”

“It’s important to you.”

“It is,” Dandy agreed softly, before a sly grin spread over his face. “Now that you’re able to read my scripts, you will be able to learn the lines for your first role.” Mirth brightening his voice and he twirled his cane in excitement.

Geralt made a noise not unlike a startled horse. “My role? I don’t think so.”

“Ah, but my dearest Geralt,” Dandy drawled his name and leaned forward with a shit eating grin. “You promised me you’d play with me if I joined your lessons.” That cheeky bastard.

“I meant the lute.”

“Well, I didn’t. And I don’t have a lute.” He nudged Geralt playfully. “Now come on. I’d love to see you act.”

Geralt put up some more token resistance, but he still joined one mock-rehearsal the players put on, all of them cheering for Geralt to join them and read the lines of the witcher-character.

He felt ridiculous, trying to mimic the actors’ dramatic gestures and way of speaking. It hadn’t taken long until everyone agreed to never have Geralt act on an actual stage, but between his laughter, Dandy assured Geralt, that that was the funniest performance Dandy had ever had the pleasure to listen to.

From then on, the only times that Geralt read lines and tried his hand at acting, was when he helped Dandy practice his own lines by reading the other parts.

Geralt closed his eyes and hummed softly, as Dandy played with his hair.

It was a peaceful moment. Had anyone told Geralt a couple of months ago that he would get to have such moments again, he would have laughed in their face.

And yet, here he was, with Dandy, the man he fell in love with more with each day they spent together. Every morning when he woke up holding Dandy close, his heart felt like it would beat out of his chest. Every time, Dandy laughed at Geralt reading his lines, Geralt wanted to taste that laugh with a kiss. Every time Geralt practiced reading the script Dandy had taught him and Dandy squeezed his shoulder with pride, the words ‘I love you’ burned on Geralt’s lips, begging to be spoken. He thought maybe, Dandy already knew.

It was moments like these, that Geralt was sure that he knew Dandy felt the same way, telling him with each touch he gifted Geralt and each word spoken softly between them.

It felt simultaneously strange, so familiar and right, lying with his head in Dandy’s lap, as if he belonged there.

The soft tug on his hair was soothing and nearly enough to lull him to sleep, but Geralt fought his heavy eyelids, unwilling to let this moment be taken away from him by sleep.

Softly, Dandy hummed the melody of the lullaby Geralt had taught him. It was a little off, since Geralt himself hadn’t been able to sing it right, but the melody was just as tender and tearing at his heart as it always had been.

Eventually, the song faded.

“What’s on your mind?” Dandy asked quietly, his fingers never stopping.

Geralt hummed quietly. “Who says that something’s on my mind?”

“There always is.” Dandy’s voice was full of fondness.

“Thinking about you.”

“A very good thing to think about,” Dandy teased and he tugged lightly on Geralt’s hair for emphasis.

Geralt didn’t know if it was the comforting feeling of Dandy touching him or the tone of his voice that loosened Geralt’s tongue and make him ask the question that had been burning at the back of his mind for months.

“Where did you get the inspiration for that play? The one about the pirate?”

Dandy’s hands stilled.

Months ago, Geralt would have begged him silently, please, remember me. Please remember that you loved me.

Now though, that voice inside his head was quiet. Geralt awaited Dandy’s answer with mere curiosity and not that desperation from before. Dandy didn’t need to remember his former feelings for him. It was enough that he was trusting Geralt and holding him dear enough to lie with him as they did now. Even if it turned out that it wasn’t what it had been before, it wouldn’t be any less perfect for it.

“I don’t know,” Dandy said finally. “It just came to me. Sometimes you just start writing and have no control over what comes out and it just felt right, writing that.”

Strangely, Geralt’s heart didn’t sink at that admission. Instead, he gave an acknowledging hum.

“Inspiration is a strange thing,” Geralt repeated what he had said once before, decades ago, when Jaskier had tried to explain to him why exactly it was so inspiring about watching Geralt fight.

Dandy let out a quiet laugh and resumed his ministrations.

“It sure is. And lately, I’ve found that I am chockfull of inspiration.”

Celebrating Belleteyn with the troupe was even more opulent than the festivities Jaskier had always dragged him too. And yet, it was nothing compared to the celebration that came about a week later.

The players pulled all the stops to make Dandy’s birthday truly unforgettable. With food, music and wine to spare, it would have been hard to believe that they were not-so-humble actors instead of nobles, if it weren’t for their total disregard of manners as they celebrated.

Dandy was blossoming in the attention like a flower in the sun. He was filled with so much palpable happiness that Geralt didn’t have the heart to refuse when Dandy grabbed his hand and asked him for a dance. It wasn’t one of those complicated danced with far too many steps to remember, that Jaskier had loved so much. It was but two people swaying in place, holding each other close. Geralt wasn’t sure if Dandy had chosen this dance because learning the steps to any of the elaborate dances was exhausting work for him, or because he liked holding Geralt close just as much as Geralt loved being near him.

That feeling in his chest was warm and fuzzy while they swayed and when Dandy rested his head against Geralt’s chest, he was sure he must hear his heart fluttering. Dandy’s hands on Geralt’s shoulders wandered a bit, playing with his hair and Geralt’s hands on his waist twitched in response, tugging him impossibly closer.

They slowed until they were barely moving anymore. Geralt couldn’t tell which one of them brought the dance to a halt first. All he could focus on was Dandy’s closeness.

Ever so slowly, Dandy lifted his head off Geralt’s chest, one of the hands leaving their place on Geralt’s shoulders and wandering up to cup Geralt’s cheeks.

Geralt leaned into the touch, like a drowning man leaning onto a piece of wood to keep him afloat. In this moment, he knew Dandy’s touch was the only thing keeping him from drifting away, from drowning in the miserable life he had led before Dandy.

“Geralt,” On Dandy’s lips, his name sounded almost like a plea, like a whisper of awe. “Thank you. For being here with me.”

“No place I’d rather be.” He had never meant anything more in his life. A soft smile spread across his lips. “My Dandelion.”

A small gasp escaped Dandy. His hand slowly trailed down until his thumb brushed against the corner of Geralt’s lips.

It wasn’t enough. Geralt wanted more, more, everything. He wanted Dandy. He wanted him to know that he was everything to Geralt.

Had their faces always been that close or had one of them moved closer?

Geralt’s heart sped up when Dandy tilted his head up a little. He was so close. All Geralt had to do was lean forward and capture Dandy’s lips in his.

“Geralt.” This time there was no mistaking that it was a plea.

They were so close that their breaths mingled. Geralt leaned forward and –

He froze, just before their lips could touch. He couldn’t do this. Not now. Not like this, with Dandy trusting him so openly to not even have his cane with him, just Geralt to guide him. But he couldn’t trust Geralt. Not when he lied and kept secrets and pretended that they were nothing more than two men who had found each other out of pure chance when there was something so much bigger and more terrible going on.

He pulled back and pretended that his heart didn’t shatter when Dandy’s face fell.

“I think we should join the others again,” Geralt said, his voice rough. “I’m sure Kara is sick of playing that slow song by now.”

“Oh,” Dandy said, his lips pressed into a thin smile that couldn’t hide his disappointment. “Yeah. You’re right. Still got a birthday to celebrate.”

Geralt led Dandy the few steps back from the makeshift dancefloor to the other players.

It shouldn’t have hurt when Dandy let go of Geralt and grabbed his cane again. The ache in Geralt’s chest dulled to a numb throb as Mika whisked Dandy away and brought back the smile that Geralt had stolen from Dandy.

Seeing Dandy happy again – singing and joking with his friends, letting them show him how much he meant to them – was beautiful, but Geralt couldn’t keep dark thoughts from creeping up at him.

He did his best not to let them show, to put cheer into his voice or not speak at all when it became too much, but Dandy noticed anyway. Of course he did.

Dandy didn’t mention it in front of the others, but he did take Geralt’s hand in his, holding it tightly and running his thumb over Geralt’s knuckles in a comforting gesture that soothed Geralt’s whirling thoughts, even though it wasn’t enough to fully keep them at bay.

“Do you want to get away for a while?” Dandy whispered, while Mika and Kara challenged each other to a drinking contest under the shouts and hollers of the others. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. I just don’t want you to feel bad.”

Geralt’s throat grew tight. “I don’t want to ruin this for you. This celebration is yours, you should enjoy it.”

“I’d enjoy it much more if I knew you were comfortable too.” Dandy squeezed his hand. “It’s fine if this is all a bit too much for you. I don’t mind going somewhere quieter. You know I love being alone with you just as much as I do being the centre of attention.”

“It’s not- it’s not that. It being too loud and too much. I-“ His voice broke off. He couldn’t say it. Not here, not while his friends were cheerful and happy.

Dandy let him take his time but Geralt could read the burning question on Dandy’s face. If it’s not too loud and too much, am I the reason why you’re miserable?

When Geralt didn’t continue, he tugged lightly at his hand. Geralt followed without any resistance, as he always would.

They didn’t walk far, simply putting some distance between the celebrating actors and themselves. They were still close enough to hear the cheering and singing, but it became background noise, same as the wind in the trees or the birds flying up above.

They sat down in the grass, Dandy laying his cane across his lap and pulling Geralt close, until his head leaned against Dandy’s shoulder.

A tremble went through Geralt’s body, as Dandy put an arm around his waist and held him tightly. So often, it was Geralt holding Dandy protectively, whether it was in his sleep or when sitting next to each other while talking. So rarely did Geralt get to feel like he was the protected one, like he didn’t need to carry the weight of the world on his own shoulder. But here Dandy was, offering to share the weight or at least have Geralt tell him just how heavy it was.

And so he did. The words came haltingly, as if a rope around his neck grew tighter with every attempt to speak. Dandy waited patiently for him to gather the courage to share his burden.

When he finally did, it felt both like he could breathe again freely for the first time that day, and as if the words were cutting into his own flesh.

“Today is the anniversary of a…friend’s death.”

Dandy stilled, his only movement came from his free hand plucking out grass nervously.

“Jaskier?” He asked, hesitating.

Geralt blanched. “How do you know that name?”

Dandy’s hand on his waist twitched. “It’s the name you said when you were hurt.” His voice was tight, but soft. “I don’t know if you recognised anything around you, but that’s the name you called out then.” He hesitated. “You say his name in your sleep too sometimes. Did you know that?”

Geralt’s mouth went dry. “I…what?”

A strange smile appeared on Dandy’s lips, too small to be a real one. “Just before you fall asleep. And sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, because you pulled me closer. You always ask me not to leave. And you always call me Jaskier.” The smile was still on his face, but now the stinging scent of salt pierced the air. “He must have been really important to you.”

“He was,” Geralt said quietly. “So are you.”

“But not like him.” Dandy let out a strained laugh that held no humour. “I don’t… I shouldn’t say that. Especially not today. I’m sorry. I should be comforting you. I didn’t mean to…to make it about me.”

“It’s always been about you.” Geralt only realised how his carelessly spoken words must have sounded, when Dandy winced and his hand retreated. Geralt’s hand shot out to stop him from pulling away. “Not like that. It…it’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

Geralt’s lips pressed into a thin line. “It’s not Jaskier who died that day. Not exactly.”

Different expressions flickered over Dandy’s face, as if he couldn’t decide which reaction to settle on. Finally, the uncertainty and confusion won out.

“What do you mean?”

An iron fist enclosed Geralt’s heart, squeezed until he thought he would burst. He couldn’t tell Dandy. He couldn’t put that knowledge, that burden, that pressure on him.

But with every second that Geralt hesitated, something crumbled in Dandy’s expression more and more. Geralt couldn’t begin to imagine what was going on in Dandy’s head, but whatever it was, it couldn’t be anything good.

Jaskier had sometimes cried in Geralt’s arms, thinking he wasn’t good enough, he was too loud, too much, too annoying for anyone to like him enough to stay with him for more than a night.

Yarrow had sounded so broken when he had asked Geralt to be his friend and then he had died alone.

Dandy was his own person, with his own struggles. And with his own doubts and the doubts of all the lives before pressing down on him. Geralt ruining his birthday, the day that should be a celebration of Dandy and nothing else, must have only made things worse.

The only thing Geralt could do to try and make this right, was tell him the truth and hope he didn’t destroy Dandy’s life with it.

He took a shaky breath.

“There was someone else. His name was Yarrow. He was…” Jaskier. You. “someone I met on Belleteyn.”

“Oh.” Dandy’s brows drew together. “You met during the feast of lovers. Is that what he was to you then?”

“No. I think he could have been. Or maybe we could have just been friends. Anything would have been better than what really happened.” When Geralt broke off, trying to find the right words, Dandy remained quiet, giving him all the time he needed. Time. The one thing Geralt hadn’t had with Yarrow. “We met in prison. I- We were both alone. He asked me to be his friend. I gave him some light and – I said we weren’t friends.”

Dandy’s breath hitched.

“Geralt,” he said slowly, a palpable tension in his voice. His body was rigid, not daring to move a single muscle. “You asked me about my first play. Geralt, why did you ask me about that play?”

Geralt closed his eyes, focussing all of his attention on Dandy’s hand in his, praying it wouldn’t be the last time that he would get to hold it, knowing that there was little chance Dandy wouldn’t tear it away when he knew what Geralt had hidden from him all this time.

“Because Yarrow and I were friends. In a different life.” His smile turned bitter as he quoted the final line of the play. “Long before I ever met Yarrow – lifetimes before – I was friends with Jaskier.”

“Friends?”

Geralt winced. “First and foremost friends. But also so much more.” His voice broke and he was sure Dandy could feel the tremor of his hand. “And when he died… I couldn’t let go of him. Somehow he came back to me, only the gods know why. He wasn’t the same, but he was. Yarrow wasn’t a bard. He was an artist. But he was Jaskier.”

When he opened his eyes again and glanced at Dandy, afraid what he would find, he saw Dandy’s lips tremble. “Geralt. Why did you call out Jaskier’s name when you were hurt? It was… it wasn’t just you being delirious, was it.”

“No.” Geralt’s throat grew tight, the noose around his neck becoming tighter with every word and yet, he kept going. “When I woke up, I thought I saw him. It was you, of course, but…”

“But it was also him.” Dandy’s voice was completely void of emotion. “Geralt, you don’t think that I’m Jaskier, do you?”

It wasn’t a question. Not really.

“I’m sorry,” Geralt whispered.

This was it. This was when Dandy would pull away his hand as if burned and tell Geralt to leave.

Instead, Dandy’s hand tightened its hold on Geralt, clutching him almost hard enough to hurt.

“What are you sorry for?” Dandy asked carefully.

Geralt looked away, unable to watch Dandy’s face twist in anger.

“I’m sorry because I couldn’t save them. Jaskier, Yarrow, all the other ones. They…they all died. I could have prevented it, I could have done something, but I didn’t even know who they were and then I saw you and – I couldn’t let you die. Not again.”

Dandy’s face did something complicated. The hand not held in Geralt grasped his cane so tightly that Geralt could see the white of his knuckles.

“Geralt, please answer this honestly. Why did you agree to stay with me?” He blinked furiously, but the salt smell only got stronger. “Is it just because I look like him? Because a play I wrote was similar to something that happened to you? Because while you’re with me you can imagine that I’m someone else, someone more important to you?”

“Dandy.” The name tasted like a storm on his tongue, waiting to get unleashed. “You are important to me.”

“Then why? If you think I’m Jaskier and you loved him – if I am important to you, why didn’t you kiss me?”

“Because I love you.”

There was no storm. Only the frightening calm, the fear of what was to come, the terror of having already destroyed all there was.

Geralt’s breath came ragged, while Dandy stilled completely.

“I love you,” Geralt repeated, his voice breaking on the last word. “Which is why I can’t kiss you and lie to you.”

“Because... you only love me because I am him?” Dandy looked so small, so helpless.

Geralt closed his eyes, letting his face fall. “That’s exactly what I was afraid of. That you would think that.”

“It’s not the truth then? You didn’t love Jaskier?”

“I did,” Geralt said sincerely. “I always will. I would have loved him in any lifetime. But I also love you. For being you.”

Geralt shifted so that he was no longer sitting next to Dandy, but facing him.

“I love watching you go on stage and silence an audience with your performance. I love listening to you sing with your friends, as if music was more beautiful to you when shared. I love that you still hum that lullaby for me all on your own, even if you still get the melody wrong.” His voice became thick with emotion, but he couldn’t let himself stop. Not before Dandy knew it all. If he still decided to leave then, at least he would know what Geralt saw when he looked at him. “I love that you fiddle with your cane when you’re nervous or content. I love that you wear ridiculous hats and curl your hair. Jaskier did none of those things. And I love them still, because they are a part of who you are, my Dandelion.”

He prayed Dandy would still be his after this. His friend, if nothing else. Because no matter what, Geralt would always be Dandy’s.

Hesitantly, his free hand came up to Dandy’s face, hovering just above it, close enough that Dandy would be able to feel its heat. For a terrifying moment, Geralt thought Dandy would jerk away, but then he leaned into the touch, turning his head just enough to press a kiss against Geralt’s palm.

“Dandelion…” The name was naught but a breath on Geralt’s lips. A breath like the one a drowning man sucked in when he realised that he was saved.

“Are you sure?” Dandy asked softly.

“That I love you? I have never been so sure of anything in my life.”

“That I’m Jaskier. I- please, Geralt, I need to know that you are absolutely certain.”

“I am. I’m sorry.” Even while he said it, he could see Dandy think of every interaction they ever had, viewing it all in a new light. Dandy’s lips parted and Geralt could practically see the pieces of Dandy’s life slot into place, creating the same picture Geralt had seen since he had met him.

Philippa telling Jaskier to go with Geralt, should he ever meet him. The inexplicable burst of inspiration that had driven him to write his first play. The nearly immediate trust he had put in Geralt. The rhythm he sometimes tapped out and that Geralt just so happened to recognise.

Perhaps there were more puzzle pieces that Geralt had never seen. Strange memories that Dandy had never shared with him but that made more sense now than they ever had.

Whatever details of his life Dandy was thinking about, Geralt could see the moment the uncertainty changed into total conviction. For some reason Geralt couldn’t dare explain, Dandy didn’t draw back, didn’t yell at him, didn’t push him away. Instead, something soft and warm spread across his face; the sun breaking through the stormclouds.

“And you love me.”

“With all my heart.”

“And when I die, I will come back to you again?”

Geralt’s insides went cold. “Dandy, don’t- I’m not going to let you die.“

Dandy’s quiet laugh interrupted him. “That’s sweet, but I’m afraid it’s inevitable. Just, tell me. Will I come back?”

A muscle twitched in Geralt’s jaw. “I think so. I’m sorry, I don’t know why or how, but somehow we are bound to each other. You always come back and sooner or later I find you.”

“That’s good. I would hate for the man I love to be alone again.”

“Dandy –“

He never got to finish what he was going to say, for Dandy let go of the cane, finding the back of Geralt’s neck again and bringing him closer to him.

Their first kiss was little more than a tentative brush of lips against each other, Dandy searching him and Geralt not quite believing what was happening, not yet understanding that he could have this.

Dandy pulled back again, just enough to be able to speak. “Geralt? Just to make this clear, I love you too. I love that you saw me at my most vulnerable but you still don’t think that I need help in everything I do. I love that you are a terrible storyteller and an even worse actor. I love that you tell me of your contracts and help me with rehearsals even so. I love the way your scars feel beneath my fingers and I love the way you don’t let me go in the mornings, even when you wake up first.” He drew in a breath and pressed their foreheads together. “I love that you can love me for me.”

Geralt let out a wet laugh, unable to blink back the burning in his eyes or fight down the tightness in his chest.

“You just had to make a better declaration of love than I did,” he said, too full of emotion to even attempt a teasing tone.

“Of course.” Dandy darted forward, stealing another kiss that felt more like a gift. “You know I can’t let a chance to be dramatic pass by.”

Geralt hummed, his hands tracing Dandy’s face, his thumb caressing his bottom lip.

“And that’s another thing I love about you.”

“Careful,” Dandy said teasingly, pressing a kiss against Geralt’s thumb. “If you keep making such dramatic declarations yourself, I might consider putting you on stage again in the role of a lover.”

“The point of theatre is that it isn’t real,” Geralt repeated Dandy’s favourite opinion. “This is real.”

Dandy surged forward, pressing a sweet kiss against Geralt’s lips.

“It’s better than any play I could ever write.”

#reincarnation au #geraskier #geraltxjaskier #geralt #blind!jaskier #fic #witcher #witcher fic #fanfic #my writing

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june2734 · 4 years ago

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The Short Lived Golden Age of Nerdy Web Shows

There was a time between the years of, let's say, 2007 to 2015 that I like to call the golden age of nerdy web shows. It consisted of a lot of small low to no budget productions that had a lot of heart, the kind you just don't see very often anymore for some reason. Many of these show have found a dedicated home on streaming services like The Fantasy Network, some have even gained enough steam to be featured on big name services like Netflix and Amazon like The Guild and LARPs The series respectively. I'm not exactly sure why the web show trend died out so hard, maybe the crowds just aren't there for them anymore like they use to be with some many pieces of high budget productions on streaming services vying for their attention. Every once and a while I'll jump onto Google to try and find new web shows that have that same heart and feel but rarely if ever do I come up with anything. As far as I can tell the only place new nerdy low to mid budget web shows or films gets any attention is at GenCon or small streaming services like The Fantasy Network. Who knows if there will ever be another nerdy heartfelt web show created that captures the spirit of those old series I hold so dear to my heart, but regardless if it happens or not I'd like to bring some attention to a few of my favorites. They may be old by the standards of the internet and maybe even cheesy by today's standards, but I really think they were something special and if you give them a shot maybe you'll think so too. If you have any others that you think would fit in with shows like this feel free to let me know.

The Gamers: Hands Of Fate

Zombie Orpheus Entertainment use to be one of my favorite channels for nerdy fantasy related content back in the day. You could always see the quality and passion that they put into every piece of content they out out on their channel. They're still around today but they've shifted their focus to other ventures such as the ever popular trend of live streaming table top games rather then making scripted content. That being said their old stuff is still well worth a watch and The Gamers series, particularly The Gamers: Hands of Fate, is some of their best work they’ve ever put out. The series centers around a group of table top gamers(the same that can be found in most of the other The Gamers creations by ZOE), particularly the character by the name of Cass, as he steps into the world of one extremely popular card game hopes of impressing a woman who's a huge fan of it. But this is seemingly simple premise is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this series. The show also features a secondary narrative that involves the characters that actually exist in the card game as as the players decisions in the real world effect their lives and leads one character, Buckstahue(not sure if I’m spelling that right), in particular to start questioning what mysterious forces are controlling their lives. The show is a real treat filled with twists and turns I never saw coming, it's fascinating seeing how the real world actions of this card game effects the card characters lives as well as question if and when Buckstahue will figure out what strings control her actions. The stories surrounding the other characters in the party might not be as engaging but they are by no means a weak point of the series either, many of their subplots are engaging in their own rights and pay off certain character moments established in proper The Gamers creations. If this peaks your interest then the series can still be found on Zombie Orpheus's Youtube channel or as a movie on The Fantasy Network. ZOE had pivoted more towards live streaming as opposed to the scripted content of their past but I'd love to see more content from The Gamers one day. Source

LARPs The Series

LARPs The Series first premiered at GenCon 2014 and took home the award for Best Independent Series. The year after it was picked up by Geek and Sundry as a part of a push for more scripted content on the channel which was where I and many others first got a chance to watch it. When the short trailer for popped up on the G&S channel everything about it screamed that I was absolutely going to love it, and I wasn’t wrong. The series centers around a 4 man party of larpers (AKA Live Action Role Players) by the names of Will, Brittany, Arthur and Sam and their DM (Dungeon Master) Evan as we follow their lives in and out of the game. The show is surprisingly heartfelt and sympathetic towards the characters involved in this often misunderstood and mocked hobby as it shows how larping enriches their often turbulent lives and connects them all as friends on a deep and meaningful level. These characters felt real and you really rooted for them as they deal with, work, relationships and the many other hurtles of adult life as they wait eagerly to gear up for whatever peril might befall them in their next campaign session. The show was also pretty hilarious, seeing them play out classic predicaments that any party, whether they be larpers or table top roleplayers, have experienced such as one player trying to roll to kill a tavern owner or romances between PCs were always a joy to watch unfold. Another thing that most will notice right away is how the production value and direction are surprisingly astounding as well, especially in season 2. I was shocked by just how much quality was put into the show from the costumes and sets as well as from a writing standpoint. If you're interested in checking out the show then it can be found on Amazon Prime but they can also still be viewed for free on YouTube or in The Fantasy Network. Beanduck, the production company behind LARPs The series, is working towards a funding campaign in hopes of earning enough to produce a third season so if you have any spare change you might want to toss it their way in support. Regardless if you decide to help or not, LARPs The Series is a show that I think any nerdy individual will enjoy. Source

Glitch

Glitch was another show produced by the team over at Zombie Orpheus Entertainment, but it never seemed to get the same kind of love as many of their other productions. The concept was brilliant: What if one day you woke up and found out your life operated on the logic of video games? Well this is the predicament that a programing temp nicknamed Glitch finds himself in. Most episodes of the show centered around particular game mechanics causing problems in his and his friends lives and how he tries to figure out ways to work around or fix problems they've created. Glitch, Wyatt and Samus were all fantastic characters and it was always fun seeing Glitch trying to work through some real world problem with game logic like trying to flirt with a woman he likes using a conversation wheel like in Mass Effect or figuring out how to "defeat" his boss at work who he see's as an actual game boss. Another thing I liked about the show was how the characters really felt like real people I knew, they played games on the couch, debated about which Sci-Fi starship captains were the best, and they grilled each other in nerdy ways while working in slang from their favorite bits of nerd culture into their daily vocabulary. I always hoped that ZOE would eventually put out a second season but unfortunately for whatever reason that never became a reality. Now days the channel that originally hosted Glitch has changed their name to Burger Orchard and rarely if ever uploads anything, but luckily those original episodes of Glitch can still be found on their. Give it a watch, it's short but sweet and if you really enjoyed the show a lot there are little companion shorts that can also be found on the channel. Source

The Street Fighter

The Game Station was an early find for me back in my early college days, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I shaved away many hours watching all kinds of gaming related content on that channel instead of studying for exams. One production, created by one of the channels founders Layne Pavoggi, which came out in late 2011 and was a cut above much their already fantastic content was a short lived series was called The Street Fighter. The series centered around a single dad by the name of Phil who has just lost his job and decides to take up a short career as a professional Street Fighter player to provide for his son as well as keep his mind off of the stressful and highly competitive job market. This a real underdog story that’s extremely reminiscent of old sports 80s films where the protagonist has everything working against them, with that being said you might think that such a trope filled narrative would make things a little predictable and you wouldn’t be wrong but there’s still plenty to love since this concept has really never been explored with videogame to my knowledge. Phil is a guy you’d be hard pressed not to warm up to, especially when you see him interacting with his preteen son Ryan or his best friend/semi love interest Camile (played by former All That star and all around spectacular person Lisa Foiles). Seeing him trying to make his way into the job market, taking odd jobs here and there just to try and get by while also playing Street Fighter to destress and become better for the sake of winning a competition for money to support his son really makes to root for him through all of it. One aspect of the show that I really this is fantastic is how it feels truly authentic to the FGC (Fighting Game Community) when it comes to talking about all of the technical aspects of play Street Fighter on a competitive level. There are moments when Phil goes into detail about his “bread and butter” combos or talks about different strategies when it comes to taking on different characters compared to his main. The show was short lived but it can still be found on The Game Stations channel, if you’re looking for a heartfelt underdog story then I highly recommend giving The Street Fighter a shot. Source

Versus Valerie

Versus Valerie is a bit of series finale for a fictional character created by Hannah Spear for the character more commonly known as the Sexy Nerd Girl on her YouTube channel. Even if you didn't watch the characters vlogs over the years leading up to the web series I still think you'll find something to enjoy in this extremely charming show. It centers around Valerie Lapomme, the titular Sexy Nerd Girl, as she lives life hanging out with with her best friend Guy, shopping for comic books, going on dates, vlogging, and trying to make something of herself as a mid 20 something living in Toronto. The brilliant thing about this series is how each episode is structured like or makes homage to popular shows, films and games such as Star Wars, Doctor Who, Memento, and The Matrix just to name a few. On top of that the show is surprisingly well produced and written for something that spawned from a fictional vlog series, Valarie and Guy are much more fleshed out and all the characters including them have some really fantastic character arcs and moments in the show. Valerie’s awkwardness and extremely nerdy imagination felt embracingly relatable to me personally since I often imagine different situations in my life in relation to my own nerdy fandoms. What I was often taken aback by when I first watched the show years ago was just how enjoyable all of the episodes were in their own special way, and the pay off of it all really feels like a proper satisfying ending to the strange and imaginative journey we’ve been on with Valerie. If it peaks your interest at all then you can still find the full series on the Veruse Valerie YouTube channel as well as some of the vlogs prior to the series on the Sexy Nerd Girl channel as well. It’s well worth a viewing and aside from the fantastic lead characters of Guy and Valerie the show also managed to grab Mark Meer as a supporting character, aka the voice of COMMANDER MOTHER F^*$(^% SHEPARD BABY!!! Source

#Web Shows #geek and sundry #Zombie Orpheus Entertainment #LARPs the series #table top rpg #larping #web series #a few of my favorite things

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365days365movies · 4 years ago

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March 15, 2021: Clash of the Titans (Review: Part One)

Please. Let me write a Greek mythology movie. I’m tired.

I am SO TIRED of Greek mythology being so...misused. Do y’all realize how much potential lies in an adaptation, a PROPER adaptation of Greek myths? Because it’d be fantastic if done well. Look, I’m not a writer, let alone a script or screenwriter, but I could write a better adaptation of Greek mythology, I swear I could.

Full warning, you might wanna skip this part. It’s gonna be...REALLY long.

So, yeah, this “review” is getting broken up into two parts. The first part here is really just a rant/hypothetical Perseus film that Id make if I had any screenwriting ability. Yeah, it’s basically a fanfic, so feel free to, like, not. Check out the Review here. Read ahead at your own peril.

You might be saying, “OK, bet; how would you adapt the story of Perseus?” Fair question, metaphorical yet judgmental person; how would I do it, exactly? Well, I’d mostly do it straight, to be honest. But you need to make this a cinematic adaptation, right? SO story changed need to be made, I get that. And I think that needs to start with the gods.

First up, you need Zeus, if for no other reason than to father Perseus. I do like the fact that he’s a patron for Perseus throughout these movies, but I don’t like Zeus as a straight-up dad. That’s for various reasons, but I’ll get there. Perseus’ main patron, instead, should be his half-sister: Athena.

Seriously, Athena needs to be a big part of this movie. She’s not exactly one of the biggest patrons for heroes, but she does like them. In the case of Perseus, she should sympathize with him. Perseus, after all, is one of the first major Greek heroes. Yeah, he really should be one of the first, and that needs to be fully acknowledged. Athena, in her LITERAL INFINITE WISDOM, should see the young demigod for what he could become: a bonafide hero. And so, she needs to be a part of this movie. One of her key allies should be...

Hermes should be, well, mercurial. Always moving, never truly still, because dude is CONSTANTLY busy. Not only is he a messenger, but he’s also the god of medicine, AND a psychopomp that escorts spirits to the underworld. Yeah, he wears a lot of winged hats. He’s also another extramarital child of Zeus, giving him sympathy for Perseus as well.

While he’s mostly a neutral god, he could also serve as a messenger from Athena to Perseus, delivering to him the gifts from the gods. He could even be the one who gets the Helm of Darkness from Hades, given his relationship to death and the Underworld. So, he’s gotta be in there as an ally of Athena. Hell, he could even be the one who finds Perseus and tells Athena about him in the first place. OK, Athena and Perseus now have an ally, so what about a villain?

Well, this movie had Calibos and technically Thetis, the 2010 had fuckin’ Hades (because of course they did), but no. Both are the wrong choice. The right choice here, in my humble opinion, is one that MAKES FUCKING SENSE.

Hot take: POSEIDON IS AN ASSHOLE. I realize that this statement has doomed me to a death at sea, but that won’t stop me from hiding the truth. Yeah, dude’s the god of the ocean, and of horses, but he’s also the father of countless monsters, nearly as horny as his younger brother Zeus, and the god of earthquakes. He’s a petty, tempestuous god, as angry and ever-changing as the ocean that he rules. And he’s ABSOLUTELY the right choice for a villain of a Perseus movie.

The movie would begin in the ocean, the source of all of the troubles in this movie. 20 years before the main events of the film, we emerge from the ocean and soar over an island, on which is a beautiful temple. Waves wash over the island, enveloping it. A woman’s scream is heard in the background, as we soar over the island, following an owl that is flying away from the island. As we fly over the ocean, narration tells us that this is a world of gods and monsters, and the owl flies over creatures in the ocean, like hippocampi and other such creatures. The owl flies over another island, which on screen text identifies as Argos. Here, a shower of gold dust flies up from a building. Perseus has just been conceived.

Cut to a day not too far afterwards, where King Acrisius is meeting with an unseen trio of women, in a cave on a mountainside. The king tells them that his daughter, Danae, has become pregnant, although he knows not by whom. The women reveal that Zeus is her lover, and that this will bring great ruin onto the kingdom of Argos, especially onto Acrisius himself. This is a big problem, too, as the kingdom of Argos worships Poseidon as their patron god. Acrisius, see, was planning on saving Danae for Poseidon, as a perverse offering to the god. But Zeus beat him to the punch, which has made Poseidon angry. And so, Acrisius sacrifices his daughter to Poseidon...by putting her in a box, which he casts out to sea.

Poseidon is about to destroy the box and Danae, who is still pregnant with her child. However, Zeus won’t have it, and in a battle between the two gods, a storm with golden lightning rages over the sea, and sweeps the box away, to the safety of an island where it washes up on shore, AWAY from Poseidon’s wrath. Zeus’ protection saves Danae, who has given birth to a son: Perseus. Poseidon, spurned of his revenge against his brother, makes a child of his own. But we only see its shadow beneath the waves. He’ll come back later.

Time passes, and a few things happen. The kingdom of Argos falls, and Acrisius is brought to ruin, as the mysterious prophetesses predicted. They are starved of fish, and the king is blamed, for condemning his daughter to death. He is driven into exile, and Argos is destroyed...by Poseidon’s mysterious child, who is only known by the name Cetus. The city still exists afterward, so that Perseus has a place to return to, but it’s wrecked.

Meanwhile, Perseus grows up, into a young man. He’s not particularly strapping, but he’s still surprisingly strong and hardy for his size. All the while, he’s watched over by a little owl, the same one we saw in the beginning of the film, flying over the ocean. Appearing below the owl is a rooster, which flies up next to the owl. Both of them watch the young Perseus, then look up when they hear the screech of a golden eagle, flying high in the sky above them. They look at each other, as the eagle flies up to the tip of a nearby mountain. The owl and rooster fly off, with the rooster flying higher than a rooster should be able to fly.

We follow them as they pass through the clouds, and they turn into their true forms: Athena and Hermes. They watch the golden eagle fly into a separate grand temple, as thunder and lightning appear. We’re not gonna see Zeus until nearly the end of this movie. Athena and Hermes discuss Perseus in Athena’s temple on Olympus. Hermes is a bit busy, so he’s off in a hurry, but Athena sits and ponders Perseus’ situation.

Perseus, meanwhile, has a different problem: surviving. Poseidon’s been particularly dickish lately, and the fish stock around Perseus’ island is low as FUCK. His mother, meanwhile, is older now, and struggling with her health. An old hermit walks into the village one day, and hears Perseus’ troubles. The hermit tells Perseus that the fish market is good near the nearby kingdom of Aethiopia, which includes a large and prosperous city that may also have medicine to help his ailing mother. Perseus decides to go on the journey there. As he leaves the hermit, we see the hermit’s eye color change to a sparkling electric blue.

Perseus heads onto the seas, with a fishing boat leaving for Aethiopia. The second that boat hits the water, Poseidon senses the blood of Zeus on his ocean. Being the petty asshole he is, he sees his chance to finally exact revenge on Zeus for stealing Danae from him. He sends his child, Cetus, after the ship to sink it. We don’t see the Cetus brings rough water with it. However, Zeus again protects the ship on its journey, and Poseidon’s SUPER butthurt now. He watches Perseus make his way to Aethiopia.

Aethiopia, in this movie, is a city that doesn’t particularly worship any one god. It’s not exactly the least theistic place in the world, though, because its residents will still fear any action that the gods take against them. That’ll come in handy later. Perseus lands there with the boat, and is immediately overwhelmed by the city’s grandeur. Additionally, he stands out here, as the people there are mostly, surprise surprise, black and brown in skin color. BECAUSE IT’S NORTHERN AFRICA!!! YEAH! Andromeda COULD BE BLACK, FUN GODDAMN FACT. Aethiopia was used to describe southern kingdoms below Libya, which was northern Africa! Come on, man!

While wandering blind through the city, Perseus bumps into a young woman, shrouded in plain vestments as she walks through the village. And it’s immediately love at first sight for Perseus, although the young woman seems somewhat nonplussed. This is the beautiful and radiant Andromeda, and YEAH! I’M RIPPING OFF ALADDIN A LITTLE! SUE MEI! See, Andromeda’s trying to explore her kingdom, as she’s been somewhat sheltered throughout her life, protected in the castle by father King Cepheus and shallow mother Queen Cassiopeia.

The two part quickly, but her visage remains in Perseus’ mind, horny Zeus’ kid that he is. He finds out who she is later on, considering what’s about to happen. See, there’s a festival going on, and it’s actually leading up to Andromeda’s 20th birthday. The overly clingy Cepheus honors his daughter unnecessarily, setting up an entire 2-week celebration leading up to her birthday.

During the nightly celebration, which Perseus attends, there’s a great feast. He bumps into Andromeda once again, and the two start talking. Andromeda is kind, if naïve, and wants to be a good queen to her people. However, she feels like a trophy, set aside for any given suitor wanting to win her heart. Perseus sympathizes, and feels a bit guilty, as her beauty was what struck him most at first, but has now begun to appreciate her as a person, over the course of this conversation. Said conversation is watched by Athene, in owl form once again.

The conversation’s interrupted by Queen Cassiopeia, who makes a speech about her daughter, and you know what’s coming here. She says that her daughter is beautiful, moreso than any of the Nereids, or anything that the sea could produce. And everybody laughs, it’s real funny, people agree...and then, we zoom over to a nearby fountain. The water begins to shake, and then, the ground itself begins to shake! Because Poseidon is the GOD OF EARTHQUAKES. COME ON, USE THIS SHIT!

Poseidon, pissed off, manifests from the water of the fountain, and we now see his visage in full for the first time, and it needs to be IMPOSING. He looks at the queen, and at Andromeda herself. He says that for Cassiopeia’s hubris, they are to be punished. Her child will meet one of his, the great Cetus, and then they’ll be able to compare “prowess and beauty”. This is certain death for Andromeda, obviously, and everybody knows it. This is to be done on her 20th birthday, or all of Aethiopia will fall. It’s then that Perseus steps in to defend Andromeda.

Poseidon looks at him, and says something like: “And look! As if to perfect this offering, Zeus’ bastard steps in the save the day! Well, child, do you offer yourself to me, after evading my justice for so long?” Everybody, INCLUDING PERSEUS, if totally shaken by this revelation. See, Perseus had NO IDEA that he was the child of Zeus. But he swallows his surprise, and offers himself in Andromeda’s stead. As Poseidon’s about to kill him there and then, he hears a hoot from the rafters, and sees the visage of Athena overlapping the little owl. Not comfortable with this situation, he offers a deal: if Perseus can complete a task for him, he will spare Andromeda’s life. Perseus accepts IMMEDIATELY, without hearing the task. And that task?

Kill the Gorgon Medusa, and bring her head back to Aethiopia before Andromeda is sacrificed.

Yeah, not good, and definitely unfair. Perseus isn’t exactly a warrior of any prowess, so this won’t end well for him. Poseidon laughs, and disappears into the water of the fountain. Silence befalls the hall, and all eyes turn to Perseus. Athena leaves, and flies up to her temple, angry and frustrated. She then decides that, if Poseidon is going to meddle in the affairs of the mortal world so strongly, then she will do the same. She finds Hermes, and the two start to conspire.

The next morning, Perseus heads out on the journey, although he has no idea what to do. Andromeda begs him not to do it, but he says he has little to lose. King Cepheus, humbled by Perseus’ intentions, promises whatever Perseus wants if he succeeds. Perseus states that he wants little, but will take assistance for his mother and village. It’s done. And Andromeda, to the surprise of her mother, almost offers her hand in marriage to her as well. But she stops short, still hesitant.

Perseus is about to go the distance, when a little owl catches his eye. Something tells him to follow the owl, and he does. Athena reveals herself, and Perseus is struck, not knowing what to do. She tells him to find the Greae, as they will tell him how to get to Medusa. He asks how he will get there, and Athena gives him his first divine item: Hermes’ winged sandals, loaned to him by the messenger god himself. The sandals will guide him to the location of the sisters. And Perseus accepts.

He makes his way to the sisters, the shenanigans with the eye stay about the same (it’s pretty solid in the 1981 film, not gonna lie), and from there, he finds out where to go. In the meantime, Athena’s and Perseus’ deeds are being noticed by the gods, eventually making their way to the three brothers. Poseidon is, of course, enraged at these happenings, considering them dishonorable to him, and also incensed as this is coming from Athena, a long-standing rival of his. Hades seems neutral about it. And Zeus...we’ll come back to him. Hermes, joined by Dionysus, speaks with Athena in Olympus, and delivers something to her to give to Perseus: Hades’ Helm of Darkness. He’s curiously chosen a side, but why isn’t known even to Hermes. Will that reason ever be revealed?

I have my reasons. Dionysus, also inspired by Perseus’ origins (which mirror his own as well), gives to Athena a wine-colored cloak, impervious to harm from all poisons and corrosive items. Inspired by this, Athena thinks on her history with Medusa. And, uh...remember that scream from the beginning? Yeah, Medusa’s “birth” coincides with Perseus’ conception. While Poseidon was...busy...Zeus went for Danae behind his back. And we’re going to sanitize Medusa’s origin...a little. But for Athena’s sake, specifically.

Poseidon raped Medusa. That’s a given. And Medusa was a priestess of Athena, but not a great one. Although Athena was angered at Poseidon’s actions GREATLY, the one who inevitably suffered for it was Medusa. Poisoned by Poseidon’s actions, she was transformed into her current form. And in this case, it’s not made clear whether or not Athena directly caused it...but it’s clear that Athena did nothing to stop it. This can be changed in some ways, but this is how I’m changing it for the movie. If you disagree, entirely understandable, I’m open to suggestions here.

OK, after that flashback, we see that Athena’s kind of ashamed of her actions, but not entirely. I realize that this is a stretch for Athena’s character, but this is a movie for wider audiences, so we’ll go for it. There’s a reason, I promise. Athena delivers the gifts to Perseus, which he finds once he’s left the cave of the Greae. That’s the cloak from Dionysus, the Helm of Darkness from Hades, and Athena’s offering, a mirrored shield. Perseus heads out to slay Medusa.

Poseidon, meanwhile, has his own ideas. He goes to speak with Hera, a shadow antagonist who’ll get her day later on. He persuades her to help take care of Zeus’ bastard son, and she reluctantly gives him permission to use one of her creations. What this is is left a mystery for the time being, but not for long. Perseus is busy flying with the winged sandals, and is thinking on how easy the journey has been. He’s getting a little cocky, in other words. But that’s quickly stopped when he’s blind-sided by something hitting him in the sky. He’s sent flying, and when he focuses up again, he sees what’s hit him.

YUP. HARPIES. Now, at this point, you may be saying: “365, you hypocrite! That never happened in the original story of Perseus! You sonuvabitch!” To that I say:

This is supposed to be a movie, and it’s gotta be a little exciting.

The origin of the harpies is entirely unstated, and Hera loved her some birds, so it makes sense that she would have some. In fact, I kind of want to make them women that Hera punished with this form, possibly for their association with Zeus at some point.

I’m setting something up, just trust me here.

Harpies as a concept are a familiar enemy to most audiences.

They’re cool, and an aerial battle’s even cooler here.

Perseus needs some mortal peril, because of something that’s about to happen.

OK. With that, the Harpies attack Perseus, and Perseus realizes that he doesn’t have a weapon to fight them with. He’s forced aground, on a seemingly desrted island. The Harpies fly off for now, ready to pick Perseus off later. Perseus, now stuck on the island, wanders around. At the same time, Zeus, sees this, and turns into an eagle once again. He flies off to a volcano, as an irritated Hera looks on. At the volcano, he flies into a cave, lined with veins of many metals. This is Hephaestus’ forge.

Hephaestus is another of those gods that I feel like never gets his day in court. There are many reasons for that, to be fair, but I’d like him to have a role in this story. He’s a relatively neutral god, mostly caring about his work at the anvil, moreso than anything else. I also like the idea of having him almost be a running joke in his scenes, in that he always comes up with devices far beyond their time. Like, at a certain point, he offers something for Zeus to give to Perseus, which he calls a “thunderblast”. And it’s a fucking CANNON, YEARS ahead of its time. You also see sketches for smaller versions, which are just straight up guns. But, y’know, eus will refuse that.

Speaking of that, THIS is the first time that we’ll see Zeus’ true face, lit by the light of the forge. And there are a few reasons for this, one of which being that Zeus’ casting should be a big name, and a surprise in marketing. But other than that, Zeus’ really shouldn’t have too much import in the story, outside of Perseus’ creation. However, looking at Hephaestus, who is himself a cast-out and neglected offspring of the gods, Zeus actually manages to eke out a little guilt for his actions for one. He asks Hephaestus to make something for him and Perseus. Hephaestus is hesitant, but agrees upon hearing about Perseus’ origins, because Hephaestus is ALSO HIS HALF-BROTHER...in this movie. Hephaestus’ origin has changed in different tellings, but I want him to be Zeus’ kid. So, yeah, Hephaestus agrees to make something...simple.

Perseus is on the island. There, he’s being watched by YET ANOTHER mysterious figure. Because, yeah, that’s how these people should work. See, there’s another benefactor for him that I want to bring in for various reasons. This island appears to have been inhabited at some point, but was abandoned for unknown reasons. Perseus wanders around, and stumbles upon a ruined Great Hall, open to the sky. He wanders in, nervously. But then, to his surprise, he sees a great feast before him, as a fire roars in the hearth at the end of the hall. He looks at the fire for a moment, and sees a woman tending it. But as the fire bursts, it produces a flash of light, and the woman is gone. Who was she, though?

The LEAST used and talked about goddess in all of pop culture. An unofficial/occasional Olympian, and far less popular than Dionysus, who usually takes her seat. I actually want her to have given Dionysus her seat, as she will be wandering the world, bestowing blessings on the households of those worthy mortals who honor her. To Perseus, she gives this gift, and this hall with maintain this gift in the future. This goddess is Hestia, Goddess of the Hearth and Home.

AND YES I AM AWARE OF HESTIA IN THE ANIME DANMACHA. Doesn’t goddamn count, because that obviously isn’t Hestia. The Greek goddess deserves some respect, as she’s literally the oldest of all of them, and was VERY respected in Greek culture, by LITERALLY EVERYBODY. So, yeah, Hestia’s going to appear here, ever so briefly.

The other reason for this is...well, the Harpies show up, as Perseus eats. They perch on the roof of the Great Hall, and watch him eat. He notices them, and as he reacts, they come down to take the food and attack him. Perseus realizes that the food has revitalized his weary body, and he runs. However, the Harpies prevent egress, and he still has no weapon. Until...

Thunder clashes, and lightning strikes in the middle of the Great Hall! The fire goes out, but light is coming from something in the center of the table, as Perseus and the Harpies look on. With the lightning bolt, there traveled a harpe, a type of sword, which is embedded in the table. But this is no ordinary sword, as it chines silver, almost blue in hue, as electricity arcs off of it. This is a divine sword, forged by Hephaestus on the order of Zeus himself.

But the sword is nameless...for now. Perseus uses the flashes of the sword to fend off the harpies. When one of them lunges at him, he quickly moves in response to it, and strikes it just, slicing off a wing. The other Harpies fly away in fear, but not too far. Perseus takes the opportunity, and leaves the great Hall, maybe grabbing some food on the way. Now armed, he has a way to kill Medusa, and to take her head. He heads to the island, with new purpose.

Meanwhile, in Aethiopia, the people are starting to panic. Remember when I said the city wasn’t particularly religious before? WELL THEY ARE NOW, since they’ve realized that they’ve profaned Poseidon with their arrogance. The vain Cassiopeia is now terrified, for herself rather than for her daughter. Cepheus is terrified for Andromeda, and Andromeda...well, Andromeda is putting hope in Perseus, but she is also prepared to sacrifice herself if necessary. But deep down, she doesn’t believe it will be, because she oddly believes in Perseus.

However, Cepheus won’t be able to hold off the hordes forever, It’s been nearly a week, and Andromeda is to be sacrificed soon. And if Cepheus won’t do it, the newly religious Cassiopeia and the crowd will.

Poseidon realizes that his plan with Hera’s Harpies didn’t work...perfectly. Damn, he’s still alive. Plus, the Harpies won’t get off of the island now, especially seeing that food seems to be magically appearing every night, due to Hestia’s gift. Maybe and island with magically appearing food beset by Harpies will, I dunno...come backcoughcogchJasoncoughcoughArgonautscoughcough. Nevertheless, Poseidon hatches another plan, a back-up plan to get revenge on Zeus and Perseus. He tells a nymph to “find him”. We’ll get to “him” later.

However, this is a problem for Perseus still, because he’s been thrown WAY off course from the island of Medusa. Even with the sandals, he’d be cutting it close to get back to Joppa with Medusa’s head. And that’s if he gets back with the head. Still a big if, that. In any case, he’s headed there to do what he must. He’s already faced the Greae and the Harpies, so, hey! Not too bad so far, right? Just Medusa next, and then a giant sea monster! Hahaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Well...whatever. For Andromeda, and for something else, he’s going to do it. Perseus looks at the sword, and wonders what’s up with the whole “Zeus is my dad” thing yet again, but shakes it off as he continues flying. Above him, an eagle flies. Said eagle is soon joined by an owl, and the two share a look as they follow Perseus. He’s close to the island, and Medusa’s island is prominent on the horizon, shrouded in a dark eerie fog.

Perseus lands on the island, after hovering above it for perhaps too long. This is, unsurprisingly, the same island from the beginning of the film, now in ruins. He gears up, and this includes the Helm of Darkness this time. He creeps into the temple, and is struck by surprise when he sees a Gorgon slithering next to him. OH SHIT

On first glimpse, the invisible Perseus notes that the creature is indeed monstrous, standing 6-feet tall, with snakes for her short hair and fang-like teeth protruding from her mouth. And while there are some details not actually in Greek mythology, I do like some details given in the films. Firstly, this Gorgon is armed not only with her looks and teeth, but bows and arrows, as seen as she takes an arrow, and coats in in poison dripping from her teeth.

Perseus realizes the danger that he’s in, but also doesn’t realize that this ISN’T Medusa. YUP. This is one of the Gorgons, but not Medusa. He approaches the creature, confident in his invisibility. However, he isn’t careful enough, and accidentally kicks a pebble. The Gorgon looks directly at him, into his EYES, and he’s paralyzed! But...he isn’t turned to stone, curiously. This is how he figures out that this isn’t Medusa, but simply another Gorgon. He also realizes how careless he’s being, and takes care to avert his eyes from the Gorgons and Medusa.

He gets over his paralysis eventually, then carefully makes his way to the main temple. On the way, he encounters another Gorgon, completing the trio of Gorgons present in mythology. He walks into the temple, and as he does, a door slams shut behind him. Now the Gorgons up until now have been monstrous and fairly tall women, with snakes for hair and hideous visages, but also with mostly humanoid bodies, with legs that they can walk upon. Medusa, though...Medusa’s different.

As the door closes, Perseus is clearly unnerved. The temple seems empty in front of him, but he also sees statues littered around it, clearly those of mortal men turned to stone by Medusa’s gaze. He walks carefully, and as he does, he hears a voice call out, asking who’s there. She can smell him, sense him, and he is not completely invisible to her. Perseus says nothing, as not to completely give away him position. But he is TERRIFIED, and the audience should be as well. Because we see glimpses of her throughout the temple. You ever see the new version of Disney’s The Jungle Book? Remember how they first showed Kaa?

In the same way, coils of a snake’s body are seen, slithering around Perseus, who’s looking for Medusa. All the while, a hissing voice speaks to him from the shadows. She recognizes that his patron is Athena, her former priestess. She explains her rage, both at Poseidon for what he did, and for Athena for abandoning her and condemning her to this terrible fate. She asks why he’s come, guessing that it’s to kill her. He confirms this, but upon hearing her story, expresses his doubts.

But Medusa...Medusa doesn’t really care. If this is a favored beneficiary of Athena, as she used to be, she wants him fucking DEAD. And she doesn’t care who he is, or what his mission is, or about his feelings. he’s going to turn him into stone, and display him in her collection, so that Athena can see something she loves turned into a monstrous form. And now, we see Medusa in full. And I gotta say, Harryhausen had it right. So did Warner Brothers in adapting it.

Half snake, half woman, with long, LONG snakes for hair, and a long snake body as well. She’s also surprisingly beautiful, as I actually do like the idea of keeping her beautiful, in a way to remind her of what she used to be. She’s armed not with a bow and arrow, but with a stone spear. And she’s BIG in form. Her head is still human-sized, but she was clearly a tall woman when she was human. She uses her body to rear up to terrifying heights, though, and Perseus can only see glimpses of her as she reveals herself.

She attacks him, and Perseus has to think fast. In the original myths, he gets her in his sleep. In the movies, it’s a combination of luck and mirrors. But here...here, it’s going to be different. See, we’re going with the old fallen pillar gag. Perseus enrages her, and tricks her into knocking over pillars of the temple that they’re in. She attacks with the spear, with statues thrown by her snake body, with her snake body, and also with an addition: spitting venom, like that of a spitting cobra.

But he manages to either dodge it, or block it with the corrosive proof cloak. All the while, he avoids her gaze, but his helmet is knocked off in the process. She can see him now, and that’s bad news. But only one more column needs to fall. Perseus tricks her into knocking the temple down around her, and she’s trapped in the rubble.

Perseus escapes, and the other Gorgons outside are knocked out by the debris. However, Medusa’s definitely not dead. He stumbles across her, under the rubble, and still enraged. She’s trapped now, though, and he can kill her easily. She actually asks him to, and he refuses at first. But Athene, in owl form, lands on a still standing pillar, in Medusa and Perseus’ eyeline. They see it, and they know that it’s a sign of what Perseus needs to do. Perseus closes his eyes. And he swings.

The blood washes over the sword, smoking. Now christened in an act of mercy and strength, the blue-silver turns to gold, and a name appears on the blade: Chrysaor (and yeah, I know Chrysaor was a dude, but I am TAKING CREATIVE LICENSE HERE). But Perseus is upset by this, feeling that he wasn’t a great hero at all. But Athena appears, and notes that mercy is also a quality of heroism. Something even the gods could learn (referring to herself, and her actions in reference to Medusa). He looks at her, unsure of what to think.

Not that it matters, since he’ll never get back to Aethiopia in time to save Andromeda. And then...the rubble begins to shake. Perseus arms himself, and he points the sword at the rubble, expecting to fight a Gorgon. But instead, an unexpected creature springs up from the rubble: Pegasus.

YUP. I’M STILL DOING IT! I realize that Pegasus is NOT Perseus’ mount, but he is actually linked to the myth via Medusa. So, yeah, Pegasus is born of Medusa. Perseus looks at Athena, who notes that Pegasus looks swift, and seems to be a way back. Pegasus is also pretty grateful to Perseus, as he’s technically responsible for his freedom. So, yeah...he gets ONE ride.

Perseus puts the head of Medusa in the cloak of Dionysus, and gets on Pegasus. As Perseus takes off with Pegasus and Chrysaor, Athena looks at the body of Medusa. Zeus, as the eagle, looks on, and follows Perseus to Aethiopia. Athena stays behind, and then is joined by Hermes. He notes that he’s here for Medusa’s soul, as Hades has been waiting for her soul this whole time. There’s his ulterior motive. But Athena tells Hermes that she’ll be accompanying them. She will speak to Hades.

But enough of that, because Andromeda’s set to be sacrificed! The angry mob has hit a fever pitch, and it’s day before her birthday! Cassiopeia, now fully in the cult of Poseidon with the rest, brings her daughter to the rocks to be chained up. Cepheus tries to stop this, but the mob stops him instead, imprisoning him on the command of Cassiopeia. Andromeda is also taken captive, set to be sacrificed to Poseidon to gain his favor.

Perseus gets to Aethiopia, and lands near Joppa, the capital city. Pegasus takes off, bidding goodbye to Perseus, who thanks him. Pegasus has a date with a kid named Bellerophon. And Perseus is finally feeling confident. Although, he’s not entirely sure what he’ll do when he gets there. But he’s got the head, so what could go wro-BAM!!!

He’s blindsided, with a hit to the face by a rock! And here, we get a bit of an aside from the myth to add something. See, Perseus wakes up, as he’s been out for a WHILE. As he wakes up, he sees an old man, clearly bedraggled and haggard. The man notes that he’s awake after all, and Perseus notes that he has the sword and Medusa’s head in the cloak. This old man introduces himself as an old banished king. He explains that he is there to kill Perseus, on command from Poseidon. You see, he’s been given a chance at absolution, for offending him via inaction many years ago.

The two have a heart-to-heart of sorts, about the expectations of the gods, and Perseus asks why he hasn’t killed him. The king doesn’t reveal his full reasons, those being that Perseus is, of course, his grandson. But Perseus asks him to let him live, in order to save someone with the item in the bag. Curious, the old king looks in the bag...

Stone. And thus, Acrisus’ prophesied downfall is done. Shocked and saddened by this, Perseus nevertheless takes the head, his sword, and his sandals. and takes off to save Andromeda. More time’s been lost, and Andromeda’s lost her hope in Perseus, as has everybody else. By the time he gets there, Poseidon’s released Cetus, who can look however, but I will say I think the incarnation in the 2010 movie was pretty solid. Cetus heads off to kill Andromeda, under the watch of Cassiopeia and her cult of Poseidon.

But then, Perseus shows up to present the head, and sees Cetus having arrived to devour Andromeda. Instinctively, he presents the head to Cetus, and turns him into stone (because I think that’s a cool way for him to go). Andromeda is saved, but Poseidon is PISSED THAT HIS PLAIN FAILED. He rears up from the ocean, complete with earthquake tremors, ready to kill Perseus himself. BUT ZEUS IS FUCKING DONE WITH HIS BULLSHIT.

He steps in the way of Poseidon, and screams that there’s been enough damage done! At the first full appearance of Zeus, EVERYBODY in Aethiopia reacts. While everyone bows in reverence, Cassiopeia’s so freaked out that she runs away. She’ll be leaving the city altogether, and when she does, she’s watched over by a cuckoo (or a peacock). This is Hera, and as a god of women AND OF MOTHERS...she’s going to be punishing Cassiopeia for her deeds.

Zeus and Poseidon speak, and the two come to tentative peace. This is settled in the courts of Olympus, where everybody involved comes together to speak about this affair. They note that, despite Poseidon’s petty bullshit, something unique has happened. A mortal child of a god, spurned on by their actions, has managed to outsmart and defeat countless obstacles. And now, celebrated for saving Andromeda and the city of Joppa, Perseus is celebrated. Zeus predicts that he will be made king, with Andromeda as his queen. And this pleases Zeus greatly. Poseidon, still angry, is not convinced. But Zeus directs his attention away from Perseus’ celebration, and towards one of his children: Pegasus.

A new age is now dawning in the world of man, and in the world of gods. As Pegasus flies over the oceans, he flies over an island, as Zeus narrates on the nature of this new age of heroes. And as Pegasus lands, we see the city of Corinth in the distance. The narration concludes, as we are introduced to a young man, a prince named...Bellerophon.

Cut to black.

Well...almost. There’s a mid-credits scene, where a newly crowned Perseus goes back to his island with a fleet of ships to see his mother, and bring her to Aethiopia to live happily. And then, there’s an after-credits scene, with Athena. She’s looking at the mortal word, and looking forward to this age of heroes. She sees that some divine intervention may be needed in the land of Boeotia. She asks her attendant to fetch her shield. And Medusa, saved from the Underworld by a penitent Athena, brings her the shield, Gorgoneion, now adorned with the image of Medusa’s former self, as a reminder to Athena to be merciful. And off she goes, to help another burgeoning hero: Cadmus

AND SO THE AGE OF HEROES BEGINS

Alongside a theoretical franchise, of course.

If you read this nonsense, then...wow, why? But also, thank you! Mostly for putting up with my mad ravings. I’ll be putting the the straight-up review of this film later today, but...I really needed this off my chest. Any thoughts? Any ideas? Any criticisms? Any petty insults? I’ll take it, whatever it is! THanks again for putting up with this.

See you in the ACTUAL REVIEW!!!

18 notes · View notes

peeterparkr · 5 years ago

Text

limits of desire⤳t.h.||20

chapter 20: the honeymoon.

story summary: you met Tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. Wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize what you really feel.

summary: the one with the silence and the halloween party

pairing: fuckboy!tom holland x best friend!reader

warnings: swearing, alcohol, just a little angsty but not really

word count: 5.7K

song I recommend to listen while reading:

if i could fly-one direction

night changes-one direction

back to you-selena gomez

secrets-one republic

change my mind-one direction

listen to one direction

previous chapter epilogue series masterlist wanna be tagged?

Silence is such a tricky concept when it comes to love. Silence is a tragedy when two lovers can’t say what they truly want. Comfortable silence sounds ideal when you go past the zone of judgement. Y/N and Tom had always loved the silence between them, when they could spend an afternoon doing nothing, each in their thoughts and no feeling of anxiety or discomfort. That’s the ideal.

But they had come to the tragedy silence, once which felt like having their voice cut by their own hands. It would be easier had they left things unclear. It’s easier to know someone doesn’t love you back and go separate ways.

Yet they knew they loved each other. And they knew they were meant to be. So hard to part when you both know you want to be together. But when one’s love is that strong then it won’t matter.

But it did, didn’t it?

They didn’t like each other anymore. But they did. However, they had to pretend like they didn’t. Or pretend they were not aware the other existed.

That was the agreement they had reached, become strangers. But how can one pretend to be a stranger to someone whose lips you can still taste in the corner of your mouth?

To play pretend they didn’t hear each other’s name whenever the other came up in conversation. To ignore the tickle in their tummy if someone dared to mention the other.

Because they had to grow, they had to heal and they had to learn. But their absence was too much sometimes.

Tom and y/n hadn’t talked since. Silence.

However, they had cheated. They had seen each other, incidentally, but avoided their glances even if they both knew they were staring. Going to places where both knew they’d find each other. That wasn’t considered like breaking a rule, was it?

It had not been planned, but it had been wished. Tom had walked in to their favorite cafe with the only desire to be reminded of her, and it seemed she had thought the same thing. They hadn’t initially seen each other, but as Tom was looking around, he saw her. And he was reminded of a simpler time.

Y/N with her notebook, a pencil pressed against her lips, her hair tied up as she hovered through her keyboard, and as she stared at an open old book. A half bitten croissant and a lipstick stained coffee mug. So focused on whatever she was doing, like the good old days where he had met her there and she had a paper, or an exam or whatever that her classes were putting up with her now.

And Tom had felt how his heart had stopped, because it had been a month already. And he had felt like he had just been stabbed right in his chest but healed right away.

Then she looked up and dropped the pencil, as her eyes landed on him. They stared into each other's eyes and it felt eternal. But Tom quickly cleared his throat and looked away.

They weren’t ready, and they both knew it. But Tom had dared to look back up again, and she gave him a heart full of sad smiles, Tom gave her a smile back and then chuckled to himself.

And Tom tried to ignore her but kept glancing at her, and she looked better.

And it became a routine, one that couldn’t be spoken. Sometimes, they’d incidentally be at the same cafe or at the bakery at the same time on Sundays, but never look into each other’s eyes and never even dared to speak a word. But they could steal a glance or two, and dedicate a smile. They’d sit across each other, usually, y/n curled up with a book, or writing on her pad or typing.

Tom would bring in scripts, or just stare at his phone.

It was their secret.

That was at the beginning, at least, but then they got busier, and Tom had to leave to film.

Tom knew she had lost her almost job at the BBC after the events at the press conference, however a magazine had searched for her. Now she was writing for a fashion magazine in their wedding section, the biggest irony one could think of.

Tom had read each and every one of her articles, but the first one she’d written. He’d kept in his heart.

Tom would re-read it again and again, memorizing its words, and he’d read all of them. She’d changed her name on instagram, too. She called herself “The Runaway Bride” that was her section on the magazine. Now her life was ruled completely by the title of it. Tom understood it was better than having the other nicknames they had given her as of when she had rejected him.

But she was different. She had a blog, she was writing, and she would post poems sometimes. At least that’s what he’d gotten from a quick stroll through her instagram. Nothing too big.

But Tom eventually stopped looking at it, because they had agreed on that. They were supposed to become strangers. And this wasn't doing this.

Award season had begun and every time a reporter would stop him, he’d try to imagine that y/n could be there, interviewing him for real, instead of the crazy and silly imaginings they would come up with. He missed her.

.He wondered if y/n was ready. He probably wasn’.t. Because they had agreed on it, we’ll search for each other when we no longer need each other. And the fact that he still had to search for her meant he needed her.

And their visits faded away, and that’s when it all started to turn on the lights. He remembered her, for sure, in the details. Like in the mornings when he was drinking his tea and asked himself if he wanted lemon and honey or cream and sugar. Or whenever he was watching Friends, and he’d turn around to quote it with her, and he’d realize that she wasn’t there. Sundays felt different.

He wondered if it was bad to think about her from time to time, wondering if she was alright. He didn’t understand his heart anymore. But Tom knew, this time was for her the same as when she had left. This was the reflection she needed.

And she had traveled to Paris, to Milan, and to Prague. Her job, Tom knew. And he had traveled to, press tour, filming.

And Tom dated. Once, or twice. Actual dates, not one night stands. He had gone out, and played it all. But it was just a way to confirm it more. He loved y/n and there was no one else he wanted to be around.

And Tom would sometimes sit down and dress up and he’d have nowhere to go, but he knew it was good to wait, because the moment she came back, he’d give her all his love. But he couldn’t help but stare at the clock.

The months went by and by. And he had hovered over her instagram page and realized it, they’d become strangers. They knew nothing about each other anymore. She had texted him on his birthday, he had texted her on hers.

Something weird had happened, something nobody had seen coming. Not Y/N and Tom at least. Harrison and Lizzie had started dating.

But Tom guessed that he had been so selfish and so focused on y/n that he hadn’t seen that Haz and Lizzie had grown closer since Tom and Y/N’s first kiss. They had started texting each other, and seeing each other, trying to solve their friends’ stupid decision. And eventually, they’d hang out with each other with the simple excuse they wanted to see each other.

Tom would try to ask about y/n but Haz wouldn’t let him. And Lizzie would be hanging out at their place and Tom would try to sneak a question or too, and Lizzie would answer:

“She’s not ready yet, Tom. Neither are you. But she’s alright.”

Haz had told him that y/n had gone out in a few dates, too.

“Haz told you?” Liz asked. “Huh, he shouldn’t have but yes, but… Look, I shouldn’t be telling you this, but they weren’t… Great, she had a good time but there were no second dates if that’s what you’re asking.”

And sooner or later, it was around Halloween. 10 months without her. But he hadn’t been thinking about that, not for the last few months at least. She did cross his mind every now and then.

But he didn’t mind it, he was getting ready for a Halloween party that Harrison was throwing. Haz and Liz were going to go as Bonnie and Clyde.

Tom had decided to go as Hercules, Haz had given him the idea, it could hurt no one, right?

And he was getting ready, everything was fine.

But Tom was having a good time, the music was great, his friends were there and the games were fun. He was fine. He had had a couple beers. But he was okay, some friends of his were there. And some friends of Liz’ too. He recognized Hannah and Jess whom he hadn’t seen since… the wedding. He felt weird, seeing them.

But he continued to ignore it, he was okay. And then it happened. Just like every other single time, he felt like the music had suddenly stopped.

The door had opened and he swore he could listen to the air outside just as the light hit her just in her smile. Her hair seemed shorter, and her cheeks and lips were pink. She was followed by no other than a guy, he looked handsome enough. And Tom shattered right there. He imagined all the scenarios, maybe she had met him at her job, or maybe at the coffee house that one time Tom had not gone to, or maybe in Paris, or Milan or Prague. Was this the second time? Had y/n realized she truly didn’t want to be with him? Had she come to ask him again to be her maid of honour? Had she already married?

But then as he saw their interaction it seemed to be a mere coincidence, two strangers who had walked in at the same time. Y/N ignored the guy as he walked in saying hello to some of the people already having fun. She stayed there taking off her coat revealing a pink dress, Megara, Tom acknowledged. Tom understood then, why Haz had been so insistent on the Hercules costume. And Tom realized it then that the guy who had walked in was in no way dating y/n. She lifted up her bags and walked over to the table where the drinks were, she took out some bottles and a bag of crisps.

Tom had zoned out, and his eyes were directed at her and only her. Harry had replaced the empty beer on Tom’s hand with another beer.

Tom’s eyes widened.

“Bottoms up, or… offer one to her, maybe?”

But Tom couldn’t even move. He watched as a tipsy Lizzie had approached y/n and hugged her.

She seemed nervous. He watched her shake her head and look around the room, playing with her hair.

“Did… did you know?” Asked Tom.

Harry chuckled. “Yeah, but they forbid me to give you a heads up,” Harry admitted. “Was it… Are you alright?”

Tom sipped his beer. “I… I dunno.”

“That’s why you’ve had a beer in your hand all night, ‘right?” Harry explained.

“Why…?”

“I think you’re ready, ain’t you?” Harry asked. “‘Cause she is, at least, Haz told me that she asked if she could come.”

“She’s ready?” Tom watched her as he saw Lizzie trying to calm her down, too. She hadn’t seen him.

“Oi, to be in the same room as you, at least,” Harry told him.

Tom nodded. “Right, but I feel like I shouldn’t… Walk up to her, right? It’s...it’s been a while, what would I even say?”

“A hello wouldn’t hurt.”

Tom shook his head. “Not, not...yet.”

Harry didn’t push it. But Tom avoided y/n, but he saw Haz and Tuwaine talking to her. Even the twins, he guessed they had missed her. And a shy smile was on her. But he noticed something, people weren’t leaning in. She wasn’t whispering. Tom thought about how different things would have been had this party been two years ago, Tom would have made sure to have something to make pink mimosas, and he would be flirting with her, on the couch probably, hugging her as they played something, but he’d end up with someone else.

But they weren’t talking, they hadn’t even seen each other in the eyes. Probably, Tom guessed, she had seen him and tried to steal a glance.

Eventually Tom walked to the table where the drinks were. He was pouring some water when he felt someone approach him.

“What’s someone like you doing in a place like this?” The voice asked.

Tom went stiff as he turned around.

She was there, with that smile she had, one he remembered, the sad apologetic one. Tom had to lick his lips as he stared at her.

“Hi,” Tom finally breathed in.

“Hi,” she bit her lip.

He didn’t say anything, instead, he just tried to adjust his grip on his red cup of water.

“I… I know it was a risky move,” Y/N started. “But I…”

Tom smiled. “No, no… it’s… it’s perfect,” he grinned. “Uh… how, how…”

“I’m good,” y/n admitted. “What about you? I saw you just came back from filming…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tom ran a hand through his hair.

Y/N looked up and down. “Hercules, huh?”

“Yeah, Haz insisted,” Tom chuckled. “Now I...kind of see why, Megara,” he grinned as he saw her costume.

“Nice knees,” she giggled.

Tom blushed, rolling his eyes. “I’m kind of pulling it off, ain’t I?” Tom grinned.

“You… actually are,” y/n laughed. “Wonderboy. The hair looks good,” she said, ruffling it a little. “Okay, turn around,” she chuckled as he did, trying to show off. “Yeah, yeah, looks good.”

“You… you look very beautiful, too,” Tom admitted making her blush. “Can’t believe they set us up, though.”

Y/N laughed. “Liz asked me about a month ago whom I was dressing up as for Halloween, I told her Meg to shut her up and then she actually bought this.”

“She did?” Tom chuckled.

“Yeah, at the end I was going to do a last-minute costume, but she had it,” Y/N rolled her eyes.

Tom gulped. “Oh, so you’ve known about this for a month?”

“Didn’t know it would be…” Y/N trailed off. “I mean I knew I’d go to a party, but I well—“

Tom wished he had pockets to dig his hands in. “Right,” Tom laughed.

“I’ve missed you,” she admitted.

He smiled. “I’ve missed you, too.” And they looked into each other. “Uh… Can I offer you a drink?” Tom asked.

She grinned.

“Sure, a beer would be good.”

Tom looked up for it and then stared at her. “This is weird isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t—Kinda, yeah, kinda weird.”

Tom looked around. “Let’s go outside,” Tom suggested and y/n followed him,

“We agreed on being strangers,” Tom said as they walked outside, a few other people were there, but they found a spot where they could sit.

Y/N looked at him. “After all we’ve been through, I can’t pretend I don’t know you, Thomas.”

Tom nodded, they clicked their beer together and then proceeded to take a sip.

“I mean we could pretend,” Tom suggested. “Maybe we could go back in time, Halloween 6 years ago.”

Y/N chuckled. “Oh, right. Have you any perfume hanging around so I can spray it on you?”

Tom chuckled. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

“No, but—“

“You don’t feel like a stranger,” she nudged him.

“But I could be, you know?” Tom grinned.

“And what would you do if you were a stranger?” Y/N asked. “You wouldn’t even look at me if it weren’t for our history.”

Tom looked at her. “What?”

Y/n chuckled. “Please there are lots of prettier girls out there.”

And it felt like an old conversation, one they would’ve had before. Like they used to because, in a way, it didn’t feel weird, it felt like the conversation they could’ve had had she not returned last year engaged.

“Yet I’m here with you,” Tom pointed out.

Y/N grinned. “Hmm lucky me.”

“I would be here anyway,” Tom chuckled. “I mean you’re dressed up as Megara, it’s kind of meant to be, isn’t it?”

“Meant to be?” Y/N chuckled. “Or more like those two dickheads over there are onto something,” y/n pointed out as she signalled Haz and Liz who had their eyes glued on them. Tom and y/n flipped them off at the same time and then proceeded to laugh together. But then the laugh quickly faded out.

“But if I were a stranger…”He cleared his throat and walked away then back to her, as y/n watched him with curiosity. “Hey.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Hi?”

“I’m Tom,” he grinned. “Can I sit here?”

“Sure, a friend just left,” she chuckled.

“Hm, a friend,” Tom smiled sitting down beside her. “So what’s your name?”

“Tom—“She chuckled. “We don’t have to do—“

“No, no, hey, we are strangers, I wanna get to know you.”

She glared at him but he winked at her, making her blush.

“My name is y/n,” she grinned.

“Hmm… funny name,” Tom pointed out.

“Hey!” She nudged him.

“Sorry, I’m honest, you should know that about me,” Tom shrugged. “Which is basically a way to shield me on being a jerk.”

“You don’t seem like a jerk,” she smiled.

“So, what do you do for a living?”

She giggled. “I’m… a reporter and a writer, I work at the BBC and I occasionally write for a magazine.”

Tom bit his lip. “That’s great.”

“What about you?”

“I’m an actor,” Tom said.

“Ah cool, have I seen you in anything?” She teased.

“Mm,” Tom scrunched his nose. “Probably not, maybe this project, you may have heard of it… The avengers? I play this guy Spiderman.”

Y/N shook her head. “Never heard of it,” she lied and let out a laugh.

“Yeah, no, it’s pretty small,” he smirked.

“Someday you’ll have your big breakout don’t worry,” y/n grinned.

“So you’re a reporter that must… mean you travel a lot!” Tom asked.

She frowned.

“You seem like someone who’s travelled lately,” Tom said condescendingly.

Y/N rolled her eyes. “So someone’s been looking at my Instagram.”

“How could I? We just met,” Tom smirked, sipping his beer. “But is that a way of giving me your Instagram? Are you flirting with me?”

“Tommy,” She rolled her eyes.

“Already starting with nicknames, sweetheart?” Tom teased.

Y/N glared at him jokingly.

“Well, have you travelled?”

“Reporters usually—“Y/N cleared her throat. “Well they usually don’t do it that much, but yeah, I have travelled.”

Tom bit his lip. “Where to, lately?”

“Recently went to Italy.”

“What did you do there?”

y/n sighed and looked away.

“Hm?” Tom pushed.

“I… Tom, I should’ve...Told you before,” y/n bit her lip.

“What?”

“I got engaged.”

Tom stopped. He felt cold. He felt sick. He wanted to get sucked into the earth. This was the same shit all over again. He went pale. He was sweating cold.

But he was mature enough, and though it hurt, he knew that this had been a consequence of the silence and he should've stopped her when he could’ve. But if she had taken this decision, it meant that they never should have been in the first place, if finding herself meant she was in love with someone else, then he had to agree with it.

“I...well, I’m happy for you.” And he meant it, in a way he was happy for her.

Y/N then burst into laughter, as she threw her head back.

Tom frowned. “What?”

“Oh my god, I’m joking!” She explained in between laughs.

“What?”

“I’m not engaged, oh my god,” she said.

Tom felt the warmth coming back to his body. He had to stand up to laugh nervously to himself.

“Oh my god,” y/n laughed. “You actually believed it?”

Tom rubbed his hair and his face, nervously. Now chuckling embarrassed. “How could I not? God,” Tom chuckled, placing a hand on his chest. “I almost had a heart attack.”

“I...oh my god, no I’m sorry,” she giggled, standing up, placing only one hand over his shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry it was too soon.”

Tom pulled her into a hug, because he felt like he had wanted to wrap himself around her since he had first seen her walk in. She gave in to the hug, and nuzzled into him, she’d missed him too, Tom guessed.

“I hate you,” he stated.

She grinned. “You should’ve seen your face.”

He let her go and sat back again. “You suck.”

“I know,” she grinned, sitting back down. “But see? We can’t act like strangers.”

“You dropped that bomb only to prove that?”

“A stranger wouldn’t have reacted that way,” she winked at him.

Tom laughed. “Well, I’m sorry?” Tom was dignified.

“We’re not strangers, Tommy, even if sometimes I wish we were.”

“Yeah, after that I wish I didn’t know you either,” he joked, nudging her. “

She smiled, slightly.

“It would be too ironic, wouldn’t it? Had I really been engaged, but I—It would be impossible,” she confessed. “Maybe it sounds conceited , but… It would be pretty stupid even if I was dating someone.”

Tom watched her.

“Dating is underrated,” Tom agreed.

“Have you dated?” Y/N asked.

“I—Well, I have,” he admitted.

“Yeah, me too, they set me up a few times,” y/n accepted. “How did they go? Are you seeing anyone? Met anybody?”

“I have,” Tom admitted.

It was y/n’s turn to become stiff. He saw how the light in her eyes faded away and the smile she was wearing disappeared. She had to shift in her place but nodded.

“Oh,” she licked her lips. “Cool, what’s her name?”

“I’m not sure if I should tell you,” Tom sighed. “It’s…”

“Is it serious?” Y/N asked, and Tom could tell she was trying to speak with the least poison she could.

Tom shrugged. “I mean, well. Kind of.”

Y/N played with her fingers. “Well, I’m…” Y/N looked around. “Maybe you can give her someday that ring you bought, the Tiffany’s one.”

Tom’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You know, the one that was in your nightstand a few months ago,” y/n snaked.

“I wouldn’t give her that ring,” Tom chuckled, nervously. “How did you know?”

“Why not?” Y/N smiled.

“Y/N.”

She smiled sadly. “If you love her, don’t let her go.”

Tom felt a stab on his heart and then rubbed his face. “Oh god, how do you do it?”

“What?” Y/N frowned.

“I was trying to pull off the same stupid joke you made yet I’m here feeling guilty for even coming up with it,” Tom scoffed, letting out a gentle and embarrassed chuckle.

“So you’re…?” Y/N frowned.

“No, I’m not seeing anybody,” Tom laughed. “How could I?”

And she finally breathed out, nervously as she loosened up herself. “Oh, you looked so serious,” she giggled. “Dumbass! I really believed it.”

“You don’t give much credit to yourself, y/n,” Tom pushed back a loose strand of hair. “You sometimes forget I’ve been in love with you since we first met, and I haven’t stopped loving you since.”

She blushed and stared into his eyes, and he felt it again, he felt his soul naked with her, as if she knew all his secrets. But he didn’t have to have any secrets with her.

“That’s good to know,” she smiled as her fingers finally searched for his hand.

“I do want to know, y/n,” he cleared his throat. “What ring are you talking about?”

She shrugged. “I...remember that day before the dancing lessons?” y/n asked him.

“I...yeah?”

“Well, I went to your room to search for a charger and I… opened it and I found it,” she admitted.

Tom felt his heart break. “Oh, yeah.”

She stayed quiet.

“Well, before I knew you were…. Engaged, I well, I may have thought about going down on one knee,” he admitted truthfully. “But I… well, I don’t have it anymore.”

She nodded.

And they stayed quiet, for a bit. Drinking their beers. And the party was continuing around them. And Tom was sure that he should kiss her, but it wasn’t the time. Right now, it really wasn’t the time. Even if he was almost certain she loved him still. But maybe they truly were strangers now, maybe they had always been strangers. Because they had kept secrets, secrets that shouldn’t have been kept. But she felt like home, like listening to an old song, or like tasting an ice cream that you used to love in your childhood.

And even if everyone else was drunk enough and loud enough, he knew that they were quiet. The moon was hitting her on her nose, and she was taking his breath away. Tom felt defenceless.

“I had to stop myself from calling, even if I did this one time” she whispered. Tom watched her. “I had all this time to be apart from you and I only could think on the day we’d see each other again.”

Tom watched her carefully. “The boys missed you.”

“Did they?” Y/N grinned.

“Yeah,” Tom gulped. “They missed your laugh around the house.”

She grinned. “Oh, nice.”

“And the path you left with that perfume,” he continued. “And they realized that red m&m’s exist,” he chuckled. “And they missed you because no one would finish my Friends quotes, so they had to learn them.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat. “And they missed that there was no one leaving books around the house, and they pointed out that we no longer were randomly interviewed so we didn’t have anyone to practice our oscar interviews with.”

She blushed. “They missed all of that, huh.”

“Yeah,” Tom took a deep breath. “But hey, you’re back, right?” Tom gulped. “I mean because they’ve missed you.”

“Should I?” She grinned.

He shrugged.

“You know, I missed them too, but…” She looked around. “So maybe I should stick around by now, so they don’t have to deal with the red M&M’s.”

Tom nodded.

“It’s weird, you know, I wanted to stay for other reasons,” she started.

“Oh, really which ones?”

She shrugged. “Tell me what you want to hear,” she whispered.

Tom bit his lip. “I don’t even know what I want to hear.”

“I found myself, Tom,” she admitted. “But I realized that whoever I am is because of you, you know? And maybe… Maybe I am slightly drunk alright? But you are really the reason that keeps me going, and I realized that you’re really that goodbye I will never be able to say because I… it’s true, I can’t live without you.”

“Maybe it was stupid to be apart.”

“Or maybe it wasn’t,” she shrugged. “I don’t know how you feel about it, but I’m certain, even if I… if I’m dirty now, all stained, even after everything, is it wrong that I still want to give everything away just to be close to you?”

He didn’t say anything. “I almost called you a few times, too. I think I called you once, drunkenly.”

“You did, it was at 4 am, and you left a voicemail, and I’ve gotta admit, I listened to it so many times I ended up memorizing it,” she confessed. “You know? It was… different for me, I didn’t miss you when I was drunk,” she said. Tom frowned. “I missed you in the morning, or when something good happened and I had to tell someone, and none of the people I could tell was you, and I missed your laugh too, I missed having someone annoying the hell out of me when I was working.”

Tom smirked.

“And I… also missed you at random times, and I may have or may have not asked Lizzie to steal a hoodie of yours, she didn’t do it, and I’m glad because that would’ve been very creepy,” she admitted, embarrassed.

Tom laughed. “I almost bought your perfume.”

She looked at the party.

“We should dance,” she suggested.

“Really y/n while we’re…” He chuckled, but she had already taken his hand and dragged him back inside to dance. He knew she loved dancing. So he pulled her closer, and their friends were in a bit state of shock for a bit, watching them have fun.

But they were dancing, sillying around, and drinking. They played some games and had fun, forgetting their past conversations or their past situation. They were like strangers, flirting with each other, dancing with the other.

She spoke with Harry and Sam, she was laughing with Tuwaine. But Tom wouldn’t leave her side. They took shots together, and drinks and beers.

“Hey,” Lizzie had dragged y/n out from Tom’s grip as Harrison had pulled Tom with him.

Y/n drunkenly chuckled. “Yep?”

“How’s it going?” Lizzie asked, handing her friend a glass of water.

Y/N downed the drink and shrugged. “I wanna make out with him and hold his tush.”

Lizzie widened her eyes and laughed. “Alright, you’re drunk drunk.”

Y/N grinned. “A wee bit, yeh.”

Liz sighed. “Y/N, don’t do anything you’ll regret, and now drink more of this,” she filled up the glass with more water.

Y/N downed it again. “Hmm.”

Harrison couldn’t calm a giggling Tom.

“Mate, are you okay?”

“Nah,” Tom laughed. “But she’s ‘eeeere mate.”

Haz rolled his eyes. “Did you talk?”

“A lil’ yea,” but then he walked past Harrison and back to y/n. They were sobering up, as they were talking in the couch. Pure nonsense, really, but they couldn’t keep their hands or eyes off each other.

This definitely wasn’t what they had expected, they probably thought their reencounter wouldn’t have been like this, y/n at least had thought it would be like on a rom-com or a romantic novel, where they would stare at each other and kiss and profess their love, instead they were drunk to their asses giggling to random nonsense.

But they were catching up, in their own stupid way. And it felt like old times, two friends making each other laugh and telling stories. And they didn’t pay attention to anything else, it was like the spotlight was on them and only them.

Her head landed on his shoulder eventually as Tom was showing pictures onset or as she showed him random pictures of her travels.

And sooner or later, people were leaving. And Haz and Liz were probably too busy making out, or god knows where to notice y/n and Tom had walked out of the house to go for a walk.

They were holding hands and ended up in the park near Tom’s house. They had sobered up, enough to be able to talk without dragging their tongue.

The night was quiet, but it felt just like the party. Nothing surrounding them mattered, their eyes were glued to each other. And they felt like home.

And both of them were dying for a kiss,but it wasn’t the time. Or maybe neither were brave enough.

Y/N was the one to break the silence. “I get it if you’re not ready yet,” she started and her voice was soft, Tom had to lean to listen to her. “I wouldn’t blame you, I hurt you and I know that it was too much and I know that even with everything, it’s delicate, I know that it would tear apart your reputation and I know that after all that I’ve done, I have no right in asking you anything but you don’t have to do anything.”

“I’d risk it all for you, you know?”

“But I don’t want you to,” she looked at him. “I like you, and I don’t know if it’s cool if I say it, you know? All night love I’ve tried to bring my lips to yours.”

“And why not?”

“I’m not afraid anymore, but I’ve stopped myself because I don’t know if we should.”

“We should.”

“I love you. But right now, I don’t know if I’m allowed to say it.”

“You are,” Tom said, taking her by the hand.

“But I do, I really do love you,” she admitted. “Maybe we were only a mistake, and maybe it was stupid, but I want to be the best mistake you ever had.”

“You’re not a mistake,” Tom kissed her hand.

“And all this time, I’ve tried to come up with reasons as to why I shouldn’t love you, and many came but the sole reason that I want to love you won, and I just want to build a story, you know? Because you’ve already given me one, and I’ve learned so much, and now I can’t live without the little details you did. And these months apart only confirmed it, you’re the only one I want to be with.And you really don’t have to do anything, just let me love you, don’t push me away, I won’t run away this time, because really, that’s the only thing I desire, I want to love you, and I don’t want any more limits to pull us back.”

Tom didn’t give her an answer, he just leaned over and closed the gap between them. Because at that moment, there were really no limits of desire.

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