#I never kept a consistent journal or anything

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

After one year, I have filled up my journal!!! Yippee!!!

[likeumeanit9497]

just like that | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

based on this request :))

summary: after dating for four months without having sex, y/n finally decides that she's ready to take matt for a ride

warnings: smut; established relationship; unprotected p in v; oral (fem receiving); riding; mentions of questionable consent (NOT with matt dw); dirty talk; 18+

notes: damn i completely forgot about this im so sorry:/ i've just been so busy over the past week or so it completely went under the radar. def not my best work (i wrote it all today), but i wanted to get it up because i'm going on a trip through europe for 6 (SIX???!!?!?!) weeks and will probably not be able to post much when im there. anyways i hope u all enjoy!!

p.s. working on one more fic that i would LOVE to post before i leave tomorrow, if not it might be a while before im able to write again :/ it's gonna be a good one for the matt girlies though so keep ur eyes peeled ;)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

“Do you want anything from the kitchen baby?” Matt’s soft voice in my ear pulled me from the lull I was in, curled up beside him on the couch watching a movie. My drooping eyes fluttered open and I couldn’t help but smile once I came face-to-face with my beautiful boyfriend. The late-August sun was setting, and it shone through the living room windows in just the way that made Matt’s gorgeous blue eyes almost transparent; a harsh contrast to his dark eyelashes and tidy beard. He was looking at me with such unclouded care, the way he always did, and it never failed to make my heart flutter.

Matt and I had met on social media about six months ago, and started dating just two months after that. Our earliest conversations online had consisted of occasionally discussing our shared interest in pretty embarrassing hobbies — playing Minecraft, journaling, and watching rom-coms to name a few — but those occasional conversations evolved into staying up all night messaging each other, multiple-hour long Facetime calls, and eventually meeting at a restaurant for our first date.

Although it hadn’t been long since we started dating, Matt’s soul was one that I felt like I’ve known all my life. Never before had I felt more at home around another person than I did once I met him, and his presence in my life gave it a new level of stability that didn’t exist before. I had dated a guy in high school for almost two years, but the quality in the time spent with Matt versus him was incomparable. I was sure that Matt was the person that I was meant to be with, and everyday he did something new to prove that to be true without even trying.

Another thing that I loved so much about Matt was that, even after months of dating, he hasn’t once pushed me to have sex with him. In one of our early conversations, I had told him that my ex had always made me feel bad when I would turn down sex with him. While him and I did have sex a few times during our relationship, I had since come to terms with the fact that I really was just doing it to make him happy. Once Matt got over his immediate anger for me, he had sat me down and told me that he could wait forever, but that he won’t have sex with me unless I tell him I’m ready.

That was months ago, and still, he has kept his promise. While we have done plenty of other things in bed, he has always made it a point to stop everything before it gets to the point of sex. At first, I felt riddled with guilt because I felt like I should want to have sex with my boyfriend —especially one so kindhearted as Matt — but over time that guilt has fizzled out from Matt’s reassuring words and actions. He never ever put me in situations that he knew had the potential to make me uncomfortable, and wouldn’t allow me to feel bad about it either.

Lately, though, I had been feeling slightly different. While before, I would squirm at the thought of anything more happening once Matt’s hand would slip out of my panties, now I feel a slight tightening in my stomach at the idea of more. And before, I would feel a certain level of nervousness as I felt the weight of his member in my hand, where now there is a flutter in my core at the thought of that same part of him filling me up.

Never before in my life had I felt any of these feelings, and I didn’t quite know what to do with them. I was afraid of the abundance of dirty thoughts that flooded my own head constantly, and I realized that I was ready for more, but only with Matt. I had been contemplating on telling him this for the past week, but as I watched him walk back over to me on the couch in nothing but baggy grey sweats — the black ink of his tattoos hypnotizing me — my body reacted in such a way that let me know that tonight was the night.

“Here, I know you didn’t say you wanted anything but I grabbed you a water anyways. I haven’t seen you drink any yet today and you-” I cut Matt’s rambling off by climbing on top of his lap as soon as he was back on the couch; wrapping my arms around his neck and planting a deep kiss to his pink lips. He responded with a soft hum against my lips before wrapping his own arms around the small of my back. I opened my mouth slightly before pressing it against his again and moving them in a slow but passionate rhythm. Matt quickly followed suit, slipping his tongue through my parted lips before using it to explore my mouth. I fluttered my eyes open for a brief moment and caught a glimpse of Matt’s most beautiful features up close — lidded eyes, flushed cheeks, straight eyebrows — and released a satisfied sigh against his mouth.

I ran my hands through his soft brown hair, tugging slightly at the ends and eliciting a soft gasp from him as I felt my body flood with arousal. His hands travelled up and down my back, his firm yet somehow delicate touch a comfort that eased my nerves. From my place on his lap, I could feel a growing hardness against my ass. This wasn’t uncommon, obviously, but in the past I usually pretended to ignore it pressing against me. This time however, I rolled my hips up and down, feeling it slide against my aching core. “Baby.” Matt’s voice was barely above a whisper against my lips, but the combination of shock and arousal was still evident in its tone as he grabbed firmly onto my forearms to hold me still.

I detached my mouth from his while still keeping our faces just centimetres apart. His breath was rapid, but so was mine as we stayed like that for a moment; wild eyed and equally uncertain. Finally, I repeated my action by grinding my hips against his clothed shaft; this time watching as his eyes rolled back slightly in pleasure. “Y/n, what are you doing?” He mumbled, clearly wavering between making sure I was okay and wanting desperately for more. I continued grinding my hips against him, my mouth dropping open as I felt his shaft reach my nerves. “I want you Matt.” I whispered, and I watched as his eyes widened in shock; pupils dilated. “What do you mean?” He asked hesitantly, brushing his knuckles softly against my arms.

“I mean, I’m ready. Ready to have sex again.” I blurted out, feeling my face immediately flush in equal parts nervousness and arousal as I waited for him to respond. His face was unreadable as he clearly tried to gauge whether or not I was serious. That was confirmed once he finally spoke. “A-are you sure? I don’t want you to think just because I’m hard we have to do anything, baby.” I felt his dick twitch in between my legs as he spoke, and it shot electricity down my spine. “I know Matt, but I really am sure.” I responded, running my hands up and down his bare chest and leaving a trail of goosebumps in my path.

He continued to stare at me, his eyes travelling wildly across my face; clearly still in a state of uncertainty. I, on the other hand, was growing more and more frustrated by the moment as the heat continued to grow between my legs. “Give me your hand.” I stated, and he obliged; placing his much larger hand in my own. I guided his hand down to the waistband of my sweatpants, inside of the material, and finally slid it against my dripping wet core. Intaking a sharp breath from the contact, I watched his face as it immediately darkened once he felt my arousal coat his fingertips.

“See? I told you I’m ready,” I leaned forward slightly, bringing my lips to his exposed collarbone and kissing it wetly. “So please Matt, can you fuck me?” The room stayed silent for a beat, the only sounds being our ragged breathing, and I felt fear begin to trickle down my spine; worried that Matt might reject me. Just as I was about to retract everything I had just said, Matt’s hand snaked to the back of my head, guiding it up from his chest before crashing his lips onto mine.

I deepened the kiss immediately, feeling a mutual level of desperation like a surge of electricity between our lips that had never been there before. Matt’s hands began traveling all across my writhing body — taking his time on the curves of my ass — before planting firmly on my hips where he helped them grind against his rock hard member. Breathy, almost silent moans fell from both of our lips as our bodies slid against each other, and the deep-rooted sensation was taunting.

Matt’s hands slithered from my hips up to the bottom of my t-shirt, where he toyed with the material for a moment before detaching his lips from mine. “Can I take this off?” He asked, glazed eyes staring longingly into my own. I nodded, and without a moment’s hesitation my vision was blocked for a brief second by Matt peeling the fabric over my head and tossing it to the side. Once my vision returned, my view was of Matt’s hungry eyes glued to my bare chest.

Matt had seen my tits countless times before throughout our relationship, but at this moment it was like he was seeing them for the very first time. Mouth slightly parted, his breathing was ragged as he brought both hands to my chest and cupped my tits delicately between them; pushing them together slightly and brushing a thumb along each nipple. I hissed at the feeling, and that seemed to pull him from his trance, as his eyes immediately shot up to mine. “This okay baby?” He asked, and I nodded my head wildly.

A smirk toyed at the corners of his mouth before he attached it to my left nipple. I released short moans as he sucked and nibbled it gently, still pressing my core against his throbbing shaft. I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into a trance that I had never experienced before, and it was like my body and mind had completely separated as I mindlessly tugged desperately at the waistband of his sweats. Catching on to my gesture, Matt shifted slightly below me before using one of his hands to haphazardly pull his sweats down slightly; allowing his cock to spring up in between my legs.

I gasped at the sight before me, only now realizing its true size with it between my legs and feeling just a tinge of excited fear trying to figure out just how it was going to fit inside of me. Shaking the thought from my mind, I collected a pool of saliva in my mouth before spitting it in my hand and bringing it down to his shaft.

Running my thumb along his slit, I felt his whole body shudder below me from the contact. I began pumping my hand up and down his length; spending extra time twisting my wrist around his sensitive tip, and watched as his mouth went slack on my tits. “Mmm, keep doing it just like that baby.” He muttered against my plump skin, and I continued to work his cock in my hand while simultaneously grinding my core against its base. Just knowing that I was making him feel good was making me feel good, and my eyes rolled to the back of my head in pleasure.

After a few short moments, I felt Matt’s hands snake to the waist band of my own sweats. My eyes found his again, and I watched as they searched my face. “You’re sure you want this, Y/n?” He asked, his voice gentle but laced with a huskiness that could only be explained as pure desire. I nodded desperately once again, feeling so pathetic but not capable of giving a shit. “I’m sure baby, please.” My voice had a slight whine to it, making my frantic need even more evident.

Planting a soft kiss to my lips, he grabbed firmly onto my sweats and began peeling them off of my body. I lifted my hips up slightly to assist him in this, and once I dropped them back down, I hissed from the feeling of my bare core against his cock. “Matty, I need you right now.” I practically cried out, leaning my body forward and planting nibbles and kisses along his exposed neck. The suspense was torturous, my body only just now recognizing how badly it was craving his.

His hands cupped my ass, and he used his grip to lift me just a couple inches off of him. I felt him spread me open slightly before dragging a finger once again against my aching folds. “Mmm, so wet for me baby.” I released a breathy moan at the combination of his touch and words, and squirmed in his grasp. “I’ll help you get it in, but I want you on top. That way you can take it as slow as you need to, okay?” His voice softened as he spoke, and his hands massaged me gently causing me to physically relax. “O-okay.” I muttered, so turned on that I was willing to do just about anything he wanted me to.

Just then, he placed a soft kiss to my lips before I felt the very tip of his cock brush against my opening; causing me to gasp. “Shh, it’s okay baby. I’ll go slow.” He whispered in my ear, and I pressed my forehead into the crook of his neck in anticipation. Finally, I felt my walls begin to expand as he pressed the first few inches into me. Moaning at the sensation, I felt my whole body flush in immediate lust. As if they had a mind of their own, my hips subconsciously began lowering onto his shaft; taking more and more of him as I sunk down.

A moan fell from his lips as my walls enveloped him inch by inch, and I slowly lifted my head from his neck and straightened my body up to allow more of him to fill me up. Even though he was big and I hadn’t had a dick in me in a long time, my slick arousal allowed him to bottom out without causing me to feel any pain; only indescribable pleasure. Once every inch of him was in me, I stayed still for a moment looking down at him. His desire was plastered across every inch of his face, and it made him look impossibly beautiful. There was no fear in me in that moment, only want, and so I began riding him.

As soon as I propelled my body up and down his shaft just once, I felt a pit of arousal begin to grow in my stomach. Groaning in pleasure, I continued with my moments; holding onto his shoulders to keep my trembling body stable. “Mmm you feel so good baby.” Matt moaned out, his eyes never leaving my pinched face. After a while, my body adjusted completely to his size and I was able to increase my speed. As I slid my walls up and down his shaft, Matt gripped onto my ass with all his might, using his hands to help me maintain my speed.

Moans fell from my lips as his cock ruthlessly hit my g-spot, and I felt my lower stomach build in pressure. “Fuck.” I muttered under my breath, feeling my skin go flush from the heat of the moment. The room filled with the echo of our wet skin slapping against each other, adding to the erotic air around us. Prolonged strings of moans fell aimlessly from my lips, and as I came closer and closer to my impending climax I began struggling to maintain my movements.

Matt seemed to pick up on this, as he adjusted his hips and began pounding into me from below; his hands holding me in place where I just clung onto him for dear life. “F-fuck Matty, like that. S-so good.” I cried out, my voice choppy from his rapid movements. My brain melted into a pool of liquid as all I could think about was reaching my high that was just out of reach. “You’re taking me so good baby.” Matt groaned out as he continued driving his length into me, staring deeply into my eyes with a fogged over expression.

“I-I think I’m gonna — oh god, think I’m g-gonna cum Matt.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I dug my nails into his shoulder blades, struggling to give into this new overwhelming sensation bubbling up inside of me. At this, a guttural moan fell from his lips and he somehow increased the speed of his thrusts even more. “Want you to cum around me baby, please.” There was a desperate whine to his voice as he spoke through his shortness of breath, and it was enough for me to reach my climax. Legs shaking, I released a plethora of moans and curses as my body was hit with multiple waves of indescribable pleasure. “Good girl, feels so good honey.” Matt’s voice was soft in my ear, and it helped to bring me back to earth as my hurricane of an orgasm left my body in shambles.

I continued to bounce on Matt’s dick slowly as I attempted to regain what little composure I had before my orgasm stole it from me, but I quickly learned that all of my energy had been stripped away. My body was trembling uncontrollably, and my head was filled with a fog that made it difficult for me to stay upright. Matt caught on to this, as he planted his hands firmly on my hips, keeping me still, before reaching forward and kissing me deeply. “You tired, baby?” He asked gently, rubbing circles on my sensitive skin. Sheepishly, I nodded, and Matt didn’t hesitate before guiding me off of his lap and helping me lay down on the couch.

As soon as my head hit the soft material, I felt my body immediately begin to relax again. I watched from my place on the couch as Matt began to slowly crawl over to me, before leaning above me. “You did so good baby,” He brought his lips to my chest and began dropping soft kisses against my skin, “Now,” His mouth travelled from my chest down to my stomach, “I want you to just lay here and relax,” He continued to move his lips down my stomach to my hips, “Let me make you feel good, okay?” His face was now hovering above my swollen heat, and I couldn’t help but nod frantically, feeling a sudden need to have his mouth on me.

Matt situated his body so that he could lay down with his face still just above my core. He brought both of his hands to my folds and I flinched as he used his thumbs to spread them apart slightly; exposing my bundle of nerves to the air. My vision partially skewed by his hair flopping in front of his eyes, I watched in awe as he brought his mouth closer and closer to where I needed it the most; before immediately gasping in pleasure once I felt his warm tongue make contact with my clit.

Immediately, Matt got to work in swirling his tongue in expert circles on my overstimulated nerves. This sensation in combination with his rough beard against my inner thighs was so intense it was almost painful in the best way possible, and I was incapable of controlling the throaty moans that fell from my lips as I watched him devour me entirely. Matt then used his mouth to suck on my nerves, bringing forward yet another new sensation that drove me crazy. It felt so unbelievably good, my hands flew to his hair where I held firmly; doing everything in my power to keep him in place. “Oh yeah baby, please, just like that.” I struggled to get the words out through my constant gasps of pleasure, but it was clear that they didn’t fall on deaf ears as Matt moaned in pleasured acknowledgement against my heat and kept his rhythm and pressure the exact same.

Feeling another orgasm begin to bear its teeth in my stomach, it was like my hips grew a mind of their own because as soon as Matt brought his hands under my ass to lift me slightly up on the couch; I began grinding my heat against his eager mouth. “Fuck.” He moaned against my clit as he continued to greedily suck and lick my nerves. I squeezed my eyes shut as a whine escaped my lips from an approaching orgasm, the pleasure that his mouth was giving me was too much. “S-stop baby.” I said suddenly, to which he immediately detached his mouth from me and I watched as his eyes scanned my fucked out face. “What’s wrong? You want to stop?” He seemed so concerned, clearly worried that he had somehow crossed a boundary, and it caused my chest to flutter. “N-no. It’s just, I was gonna cum again.” He raised a quizzical eyebrow, clearly confused by how that might be a problem. “I…I want to cum with you.” I finally said, and watched as his facial expression changed from one of concern back to one filled with lust.

He smiled quickly before dragging his body up my own, planting occasional kisses along my body on his way. Once he reached my head, he immediately began kissing me passionately, slipping his tongue through my parted lips and allowing me to taste myself on his mouth. Pulling away, I noticed my arousal laced throughout his beard, and that along with his pink swollen lips fresh off of my heat was enough to make my head spin. Just then, I felt him line his shaft up with my entrance, and immediately gasped out when he slid it in completely. Before moving at all, Matt took a moment to gaze down at my destroyed face before grabbing my legs and wrapping them around his waist. He then leaned forward and propped himself on his forearms on either side of my head; slipping a hand through my hair and grabbing onto it gently.

After noticing my body relax, he finally began thrusting into me. Starting off slow and deep, he gradually increased his speed until he was pounding his inches deep into me at a rapid pace. Already being close to cumming, I struggled to get a grip on my thoughts as the pleasure of the moment pulled me deeper and deeper into a world of euphoria. “You’re so tight sweetheart.” He muttered through his grunts, and I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head at his words. “F-feels so good Matty.” I managed to reply, tightening my legs around his waist as I tried everything I could to hold off my orgasm.

Matt’s hand snaked through my hair before he grabbed onto my cheek, brushing it gently with his thumb as he stared at me with a gaze so intense that it was almost intimidating. “I-I’m close Y/n.” He nearly whispered, and I felt his pace begin to slow slightly as he began to be overtaken by his own orgasm. My eyebrows knitted together as I felt my walls began to break. “M-me too.” I replied, wrapping my hands tightly around his biceps to keep me grounded. “Ah fuck, I’m cumming baby.” His erotic words were followed by a string of animalistic grunts as he drove his cock in and out of me — slow but hard — and it was like my body was waiting to hear those words as my second orgasm immediately ran through me like a freight train.

My breathy moans harmonized with his deep ones, and I felt my walls contract around his shaft; milking his dick as it painted them white. My legs were wrapped so tightly around his waist, he was barely able to move them as we both rode the waves of our intense pleasure. As my orgasm continued to tear through me, my back arched off of the couch and my body trembled. From above me, Matt watched me writhe in bliss as his movements completely stopped. As I finally began coming down from my high, I felt his hand brush through my hair affectionately, and watched as his face turned up in a smile before he placed a deep kiss to my lips.

He gently pulled his cock out of me, causing me to wince from the raw pain, before laying beside me on the couch and pulling me into him. Face to face, we stared lovingly at each other for a moment; my mind still spinning from how good he had made me feel, and in that moment I was worried that my heart might explode. His blissed expression told me that he was feeling the same, and his hand delicately rubbing the small of my back confirmed it. “Are you okay?” He finally asked, minor concern visible on his beautiful face. “I’m more than okay.” I answered honestly with a chuckle, causing him to laugh in relief as well. “I think I actually love sex.” I continued, causing him to really laugh this time before planting a kiss on my sweat-beaded forehead. “Well I think I actually love you.”

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

[kamiversee]

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 41 || The Cute Bartender

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, very cute fluff, & teasing.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 3.6k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——YOUR QUESTION REMAINS unanswered for quite some time. To constantly weigh out your options of who would be a better lover for you is going to take time.

But, as of right now, even if you wanted to choose Gojo over Choso, he's already made it clear he's not allowing that. He doesn't think he's good for you and, in case you forgot, you're technically supposed to hate him.

That being said, your choice is already made for you.

But none of that is important right now. You were allowed a break until the semester began again but, since your university's winter break was a span of two, almost three months, you were honestly ready to finish the list by late January.

Even though you said you were taking a break from the men, you still kept in contact with them. You'd text Choso on some days but he'd often scold you about how you wanted a break, which only made you want to talk to him more.

Then, you even had your phone calls with Gojo which consisted of him doing the same damn thing-- pestering you by saying 'As much as I love listening to you talk, sweets, you're supposed to be taking a break from me' which, was just as sweet as the messages Choso would send.

Yeah, you were definitely falling for both of them in your own way and nothing could stop that. Even so, you were ready to get back to the list.

There was one name left. You couldn't believe it. As of now, you were laid out on your bed, your delicate fingers curled around a pen as you went down the list of yours. Reading over each name reminded you of your experiences with them, whether it was good or bad, and you were surprised you finally made it this far.

At one point, you doubted you could even do this. So many lessons have been learned, so many personalities and so many situations have been experienced. It's almost, emphasis on almost, beautiful when you think back on it.

To go from a broke and regular college student to one whose life is filled with drama, good (for the most part) sex, and men who've somehow managed to fall for you. It's the kinda thing you never imagined for yourself.

Just one semester ago, you were worried about even landing a job and now look at you; you've managed the money from Gojo better than ever so you're truly set for quite some time.

With a sigh, you place the pen down beside your journal and trace your fingers over the final name; Nanami Kento. Once you sleep with him it's over. It's almost bittersweet to think about.

As you stare at your journal, you think you have a plan for it once the list is complete. A plan that you've talked to Gojo about and he's agreed to-- the two of you are going to burn the list.

Neither of you want any physical evidence of it so you think burning it once it's complete will prove to be a nice way to say goodbye to the memories that come with the list. Nowhere in your text messages or his do you two discuss the list explicitly, just in case someone were ever to go through your devices, and the only time it's been talked about aside from in person is over phone calls.

But, you're not worrying about that getting out. Someone would have to dig really deep to find the recordings of you and Gojo's phone calls. Like, to the police deep to find them. Or hacking your cell. But, you have no reason to worry about that, right? Gojo said he's not involved in anything illegal and you trust him (to some extent).

So again, it's bittersweet to think about this list finally coming to an end. It was like a game you had to play and knowing that the end credits were about to roll soon just made you feel odd inside. Yeah, you wanted it to end but as it was actually happening, it was like leaving a chapter of your life behind.

After all, you'll never be able to undo what's been done. You can't go back and change who you've slept with or how.

So, with that final little thought, you sigh again and then shut your journal. Getting up to put it away in its locked drawer compartment, you wonder what it'll be like to finally meet Nanami.

You have a good feeling about him.

And no, not one of those good feelings that result in disaster but, an actual good feeling. Something about the thought of this tall, blonde, and sexy man whose facial expression holds a stupidly attractive seriousness at all times just makes you feel calm.

You feel like you're going to be dealing with someone so mature that it'll ease your mind, kind of like how your mind was at ease when you first met Choso.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

And you had every right to be in good spirits about meeting Nanami because the man did, in fact, turn out to be one of the best and lightest experiences for you.

Despite how difficult he may seem, Nanami is just a man you couldn't catch at the right time. That was the only reason why you ever considered him to be 'hard' to seduce. And no, it's not some magical effect you had that made your efforts work, it was this genuine and raw connection that formed when you met him.

It was surely a night to be remembered.

A simple pair of black heels lightly clacked against the floor as you walked with your head held high into that damned nightclub-- the same nightclub in which you couldn't run into Nanami at the right time for the longest. This night was different though, as you had arrived before him for once.

It wasn't planned or anything but, your arrival to the building was before he'd gotten there. The dress you wore to accompany the heels on your feet was just as simple and was shaded in the same color; black. It was moderately tight-fitting and hugged your body just right.

Unlike some of your past dresses, it didn't make you feel like you were going all out and you thought you blended in nicely with everyone else that was there. Around your neck was that same necklace Gojo gifted to you on Christmas as you never really had the heart to leave home without it on.

Your excuse for wearing it all the time was because it was really pretty. It had nothing to do with Gojo of course. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself anyway.

Making your way to the bar, you took a seat in an area you knew Nanami to typically sit at and then you scouted the area for either him or the cute brown-haired friend he's always with. Finding nothing and no one, you sigh and decide to order a drink.

After which, you gave yourself thirty minutes before you'd leave and try again in another two weeks. You didn't even tell Gojo you were starting back up on the list yet so it's not like there was any pressure for you to seduce Nanami tonight, maybe that's what made everything so different.

Your nails tapped across the bar as you waited and at some point, you even made conversation with the cheeky bartender. The thing about this bartender is that you've seen him talk to Nanami plenty of times and you're pretty sure they're friends.

He had this really cute face and pretty brown eyes that made you feel safe in a strange way. Every time you see him he's got this beanie on top of his head and his clothes are always baggy, something you saw his manager scold him about a few times at one point.

Either way, today was your first time actually talking to him and you learn that his name is Ino Takuma and that he actually recognizes you, having paid attention to the few times you've been there.

"Are you waiting on someone, beautiful?" Ino had questioned you.

Oh yeah, and he's also been complimenting you nonstop from the moment you two began talking. It's in a friendly way, you think. It doesn't seem like he's flirting, just being kind, which you like.

You smiled at the man, "Is it that obvious?"

He makes this silly face in thought and you note how expressive he is. "Hmmmm, I mean for me, yeah. But that's only because I see you come here around the same time every two weeks."

"Yeah?" You meet his eyes with a smile on your face and he holds the eye contact for at least five seconds before he looks away. He's adorable. "So, you've really been paying attention to me all this time?" You ask before going to take another sip of your preferred drink of the night.

Ino laughs and the sound is so joyful it almost heals something in you. "I mean, nooo..." He drags out, smiling through his words before he shrugs, "I pay attention to everyone. And plus, how could I forget a pretty face like yours?"

You're still staring at him and you don't think you've ever paid attention to how much someone avoids eye contact before dealing with Choso. After that man, it's so obvious to you now when someone gets nervous to look you in the eye for too long.

"Is that a compliment, Ino?" You ask softly, the use of his name making his ears flush a cute shade of pink.

He clears his throat and wipes down a part of the nearby counter. There are not that many people at the bar tonight so that gave him the leisure to speak to you. "...Yeah," Ino replies, trying to focus on his small task instead of your eyes gazing at his face.

You hum. "Thank you," You say before moving to rest your chin in the palm of your hand as you rest your elbow on the bar.

Ino finishes his little task and then places the cloth he used elsewhere, finally looking at you now that your eyes have gone elsewhere, "He'll be here soon, by the way."

You blink and your eyes flick up to Ino's face, confused by his words, "Who?"

He flashes that friendly smile at you, "Nanami."

You're not sure if you should pretend not to know who Nanami is or if you should ask how Ino knows you're waiting on the man. For now, you swallow, "Nanami?"

Ino moves his hand up and over his head a bit, "He's like this tall, blonde," The brown-haired male gestures toward his eyes, "Wears these funky glasses sometimes?"

You bat your eyelashes at him in confusion, "Okay... Why uh, why're you telling me he'll be here soon?"

"You know him, don't you?" Ino asks, his thin and well-kept brows furrowing a bit as he innocently tilts his head.

"I know of him, I suppose," You answer vaguely, "But, why'd you think I know him?"

His shoulders raised a bit, "Cause' he asked me about you."

You swallow the sudden nervous lump in your throat, "H-He asked about me? Why? When?"

Ino chuckles at the worry in your face. To him, it just seemed like you were nervous in a shy sort of way, "He just asked me if you came here any other times. Like, times when he's not here."

"Why?" You ask.

"I dunno'," Ino shrugs casually, "I think you caught his attention." He adds on with a little wink.

Your lips pull into a straight line, "I highly doubt that."

"Why? You're pretty," Ino compliments yet again.

"Thanks but I've seen Nanami enough times to know that I have not caught his attention. Trust me, I know how men operate when their attention is caught." You scoff as you glance over to the dance floor and watch some of the people there.

Ino doesn't seem to understand what exactly you mean by that and his brows furrow, "You caught my attention, and yet this is my first time talking to you." He points out.

Almost naturally, as if you'd grown accustomed to flirting, your gaze trails back over to the cute bartender and you smirk, words slipping out of your mouth without thought, "I've caught your attention? How so?" You ask, unintentionally adding a sultriness to your tone.

He gulps and his eyes avoid yours yet again, "I mean you are an attractive woman. S-So I just mean it in that you catch more people's eye than you think. A-And uh, y'know, not everyone's gonna approach you first because sometimes attractive people make others nervous..." He stammers out.

He's so ridiculously nervous and it's the cutest thing. You lift your head from your hand and cross your arms over the counter, leaning forward a little and your chest unknowingly growing more visible as you do so, "Am I making you nervous right now, Ino?" You whisper.

Okay, now you're purposefully teasing him.

He chuckles, kinda awkwardly, "N-No? Pfft... I'm not nervous. Y-You-," He clears his throat, "You're not making me nervous."

You raise but a single brow and keep your gaze on him, "You can't even look me in the eyes while we talk."

Ino suddenly looks at you, meeting your unwavering gaze and sweating a bit. "I'm lookin' at you now."

You stare long and hard, right into those brow irises of his and he tries to stare back but, he can't help but glance to the left or right for a split second before trying to keep his eyes on yours.

A slow and taunting smile spreads across your features, "Barely." You point out.

He rolls his eyes and sighs, "Whatever. I wasn't nervous I'm jus' not good with eye contact."

You tilt your head at him and narrow your eyes, "That's not true."

"Eh?" Ino's brows push together, "How are you gonna' tell me..." He says with a pout.

You giggle, "You manage eye contact with everyone else just fine."

He moves for a nearby empty glass someone's placed down, and glances at you as he does so, "So you've been paying attention to me, then?"

Of course, your eyes have hardly left his. It's fun teasing someone like this, "A bit, yeah."

Ino moves with the empty glass to place it with other dirty ones, humming a little nervously, "Oh..." As he does so. Then, you watch him pick up a clean glass and move to make a new drink right in front of you.

"Is that okay?" You murmur. Your voice has this purposeful flirtiness to it and it does not go unnoticed, "Am I allowed to pay attention to you, Ino?"

He gulps, "Course' you can."

Your eyes drop to the glass in his hands as he pours alcohol into it and you smirk, "Ino..."

His gaze flicks to your face for a moment, "H-Hm?"

"You're shaking." You point out.

Ino nearly fumbles the glass in his hand entirely and you watch him miss the cup for a moment, a bit of the liquid he'd been pouring trickling onto his hand and then the floor, "Shit," He curses.

You chuckle slightly at first, earning a little pouty glare from the man.

Then as he goes to clean up you hear him mumbling to you, "That's not funny..."

Your chuckling proceeds to elevate into genuine laughter, "Yeah it is," You snicker, "You're adorable, holy fuck."

Ino's face is a little red as your words hit his ears and he drops down to clean the mess on the floor. After which, he pops right back into your line of vision, seeing you still laughing at him and pouting yet again.

"I am not 'adorable'," Ino grumbles.

You giggle, "Yes, you are."

He shakes his head and sighs in this sassy kinda way, "Am' not."

"Are too," You argue.

His eyes meet yours and despite being embarrassed, he's got a little smile back on his face, "Nuh-uh."

You nod, “Yuh-huh."

Ino then rolls his eyes, still smiling, before he puts all the items he had in his hands down to the side. You then watch one hand drop down into his pocket before his phone is pulled out. Ino unlocks the device and then places it in front of you, sliding it closer to you with an empty contact slot on the screen.

"Put your number in here," He sighs, smoothly requesting your contact info like it's nothing.

You raise a brow, "Are you asking for it or are you demanding it?"

Those almost innocent brown eyes of his trail over to yours and he holds eye contact for a longer moment, "I'm asking. I like talking to you so, can I get your number?"

"Hmmm..." You hum playfully, purposefully taking your time to answer, "Is this to be friends or something more?"

He's still looking you in the eyes, "Uh, friends? I'm not sure I could even handle a woman like you."

You raise a brow.

"I mean that in a good way," Ino clarifies.

You shrug and move to enter your number in his phone, "Thanks. I was only asking that 'cause I uh..."

He tilts his head and watches your fingers tap across his screen, "...Have a lot going on?"

"Something like that, yeah." You answer before you finish adding your info and then slide the phone back to him.

He picks up his cell and pockets it before shrugging, "I see, well, if this makes you feel any better, I always try to get people's numbers after a nice conversation with them."

You frown playfully, "Aw, so I'm not special?"

Again, he's flustered, "W-Well, I mean you are b-but I just-"

"Ino," You snicker, "I'm just teasing you, relax."

He rolls his eyes again and sighs, "You're driving me crazy."

For one last time, you tilt your head and give him this flirtatious look, "Am I?"

Ino looks at your expression and gulps, "Yes ma'am."

Okay, is it weird that a part of you wishes he was on the list too? Holy shit is teasing this man fun. Even so, you've got enough men to worry about in your life and you don't need to add to that.

You chuckle and your expression returns to something more platonic, "Alright, I'll stop then."

"Please," Ino begs quietly in a joking manner.

That makes you laugh again and this time, he laughs along with you. Then, you watch him go back to preparing that drink from earlier and he does it flawlessly this time, his nerves calmed after you stop all your teasing.

As the drink is finished, you sip on yours and then a pleasant smell slithers into your nose. It's cologne, a strong but ridiculously pleasant scent filling your nostrils. You blink a few times as you take in what you're smelling and for a second, you wonder if it's coming from Ino because he got kinda close as the drink he prepared was placed next to you.

Your question is answered within the next second though because you hear a voice that accompanies the scent. A deep, sexy, and soothing voice that makes your posture straighten due to how surprisingly close to you it is.

Nothing more than a simple, "Thank you," Was voiced but even so, it was extremely attractive.

Then, you curiously turn to where the voice came from, which was to your right, and you're met with your last target; Nanami Kento.

There he was, in the flesh, right next to you. Like, literally sitting in the barstool next to yours. And that drink Ino made? Yeah, it was his. Your eyes were all over the man, drinking in his features shamelessly.

The man seemed to be more muscular than you thought he was as the blue button-up shirt he wore clung to his body so delectably. The sleeves were rolled up near his elbows and you could see how muscular his arm was, veins decorating his skin as they became visible from his elbow and down.

The shirt was just hugging his body and you couldn't help but stare. Then, for a moment you look down at his pants. He wore these khakis that were just as fucking tight as his shirt and you swear you didn't mean to look at his crotch but because of the way he sat it was like your eyes were there before you even rendered it.

God, his pants hugged his thighs and you just drink in the way his hips push up slightly as he adjusts the way he sits. Holy fuck, you had to force your eyes up because you swore you could see his manhood, or at least imagine what he's hiding beneath those clothes of his.

So, your eyes went back up to areas more respectable to look at, such as his shirt, which you noticed he had enough buttons undone to reveal a teasing amount of his chest. His collarbone was so sharp and defined and you could only imagine the rest of his body.

Then, you trailed up just a bit more to his neck, then his jaw which was sharp as fuck, to his defined cheekbones, and then his eyes-

And shit.

He was already looking at you.

GOJO SATORU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

GETO SUGURU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢

KAMO CHOSO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢 / 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

ITADORI SUKUNA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮???

NANAMI KENTO �� 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙙

mlist || previous chapt || next chpt

[loveinhawkins]

Eddie is writing new song lyrics. Dustin discovers them on a random Saturday when they’re having pizza at Steve’s; Eddie asks Dustin to get one of his old campaign notes, and Dustin reaches for the wrong journal.

“Oh, not that one,” Eddie says with a shrug, but his eyes go a little thoughtful at the sight of it in Dustin’s hands. For some reason he pauses, and then he says, “You can still read it if you want, man.”

And Dustin stares at him, certain it’s a trick, because Eddie is notorious for ensuring that any potential Hellfire spoilers are kept under lock and key. But then he opens the book and reads.

And he gets it.

The lyrics are clever, because they hide under metaphor, apocalyptic imagery and all that stuff, but it clicks when Dustin gets to a verse about a tune echoing through a mall, ‘and it’s a song you know, you’ve known it all your life,’ and he’s suddenly thrown back to when he explained how Steve worked out the location of the Russian code, and Eddie was taking it all in, eyes as round as pennies.

Dustin sets down the notebook and says, “It’s about us.” It’s not a question.

Eddie nods. “Yeah.”

“You make it sound a lot more poetic than it actually was,” Dustin says.

But Eddie doesn’t tease back, just gives a contemplative little smile and says, “Really? I don’t think so.”

And that’s as far as they get in talking about it, because Eddie suddenly glances away, and his smile changes ever so slightly, gets softer around the edges. He turns back to Dustin and mouths, Look.

Dustin does. Steve has fallen asleep, curled up in the corner of the couch. His head is just barely resting in his hand, nodding forwards precariously every so often.

Dustin hears Eddie give an almost silent tsk, which is funny; he must have picked it up from Steve. He quietly goes over and moves Steve with a gentle touch until Steve’s head is resting comfortably against the cushions.

Steve murmurs wordlessly, eyes closed, then settles back into sleep.

Eddie catches Dustin’s eye; he mimes, Shh with a wink.

And something in the back of Dustin’s mind falls into place. …Huh.

There are days when Eddie has the journal and days when he doesn’t—he cycles through notebooks constantly, most of them having been started with a specific purpose before devolving into chaotic scribbles for anything and everything.

But this one stays consistent.

And whenever he does have the journal, he lets Dustin open it to any random page and read for as long as he likes.

It doesn’t exactly take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that a verse waxing lyrical about a protective soldier finally laying down his armour and resting is about… someone in particular.

And that makes Dustin wonder whether ‘and it’s a song you know, you’ve known it all your life’ isn’t just about a mechanical horse playing Daisy, Daisy. In fact, maybe it’s not about that at all.

He doesn’t mention anything, just says that Eddie’s writing is good when he hands the journal back over. It’s hardly a major compliment, except every time, Eddie says, “Thanks,” in an almost uncertain tone Dustin’s never heard before, like just hearing that’s really touched him.

And then one day Eddie loses the journal. Dustin doesn’t realise what’s wrong at first, just knows that Eddie is agitated, rooting around in the back of the van when Dustin sidles in for a ride home after school.

Dustin sees movement outside, and he looks up to see one of the substitute teachers who’s always got a stick up her ass standing at the school entrance. She’s holding Eddie’s journal.

“Uh, Eddie?”

“What?” Eddie snaps. Then he follows where Dustin is looking. “Oh Jesus fucking Christ.”

But he doesn’t let any of his irritation show when he hops out of the van and heads for the teacher.

Dustin knows Eddie talks a good game when it comes to sticking it to authority, all I’ll flip him the bird and so on, but there’s none of that arrogance now. Dustin can’t hear what they’re saying, but he can read the body language, the teacher’s tight-lipped smile, the way Eddie has crossed an arm over his chest self-defensively; he looks suddenly very young and unsure of himself.

The confrontation ends with the teacher handing Eddie the journal—more shoving it at him, really. Eddie gives her a curt nod before he heads back to the van, slamming the door shut as he gets inside.

He throws the journal in the back, and Dustin, who has carelessly destroyed countless textbooks, somehow finds himself saying, “Watch it, dude! You’ll rip it.”

Eddie doesn’t reply. He reverses out the parking lot and makes a turning for Dustin’s house, grinding his teeth.

The silence goes on until it’s unbearable, and Dustin tentatively asks, “What did she want?”

Eddie laughs, a nasty, thoroughly unconvincing sound. “Oh, ya know. Just returning lost property. Good fucking Samaritan.”

When he gets home, Dustin finds a note from his mom, that she’s over at his aunt’s and there’s some leftover pasta in the fridge. Dustin checks, and there’s easily enough for two.

He runs outside thankfully before Eddie has gone.

“You can’t expect me to be left in the kitchen unsupervised,” Dustin says. “I might burn it down.”

Eddie snorts. “From sticking pasta in the microwave?” Then he seems to hear himself and adds, “Yeah, somehow wouldn’t put it past you, Henderson.”

So they end up eating lasagne straight out of the dish together, playfully battling for the last slice like their forks are swords.

“What did she really want?” Dustin asks eventually. He can’t help but notice that Eddie had brought the journal in with him, keeps tapping his finger on the cover uneasily.

Eddie sighs, rubs a hand down his face. He nods down at the journal. “I’d left it in a classroom that some middle schoolers use for Drama Club. Apparently there’s some concerns about the appropriateness of—”

“That’s bullshit!” Dustin says. “Why would she even—”

“Dustin,” Eddie says very quietly. He closes his eyes. “You know why.”

And Dustin does. That’s why he’s so damn angry.

Because some of the lyrics (not all, but some), are love songs. And a good number of those are unambiguously from the point of view of a boy, speaking to another boy.

Eddie sighs again, presses a thumb into the inner corner of one eye. It looks like he’s warding off a headache. Dustin knows that he isn’t.

He could say I don’t care that you’re gay, but that doesn’t sound quite right; it isn’t about not caring, it’s about…

“You know I like you, right?” Dustin says.

Eddie gives a choked little laugh. He drops his hand, opens his eyes and says, with a faint smile, “No shit? I guessed you wouldn’t share lasagne with your mortal enemy.”

“True,” Dustin concedes. He presses on. “But I meant, like…” He bats Eddie’s hand away from the journal so he can tap it instead. “Like this. It’s all a part of you, and you’re really cool, so that means—like, it’s all cool. It makes you, you. You know?”

For a long moment, Eddie just stares at him. “You said you so many times, I don’t think it’s a word anymore,” he says, but he’s blinking a lot, and Dustin sees his lips quiver. “Um. Thanks.”

He still sounds sad which absolutely will not stand. Dustin gives him a few seconds of reprieve, before he launches at him with a karate style chopping motion.

Eddie chuckles. “You little shit!”

And they tussle until, breathlessly laughing, they’re both stretched out on the couch on their backs, side-by-side.

“You should let Steve read some,” Dustin suggests.

Eddie’s laughter trails off. “Mm,” he says, non-committal.

“I mean it!” Dustin recalls a verse he’d read only a couple of days ago, one that wasn’t dressed up in symbolism.

And you want to tell him you’re enough just like this darling, you always have been

“I don’t know,” Eddie says. “So far that stuff’s had an audience of one, and I think he might be a bit,” Eddie gestures with his thumb and forefinger, “biased. Being family and all.”

Dustin smiles, feels a proud little glow in his chest. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’ve seen Steve hiding love poetry books. Like he underlines that shit. It’s embarrassing.”

Eddie cackles. “Well. Some of my shit’s embarrassing so…”

Dustin claps his shoulder gravely. “I mean, I wasn’t gonna be the one to say it.”

Eddie pushes him nearly right off the couch; he pulls him back before he can fall. “Oh, fuck you.”

They’re quiet for a bit, and then Dustin suggests a movie, and when he’s putting the VHS in, he catches Eddie watching him with shiny eyes.

“Hey,” Eddie says. He smiles. “I love you.”

And God, it’s so much better hearing those words like this, with Eddie in front of him, safe and whole.

And Dustin doesn’t need to rush his reply this time. He picks up the journal and passes it to Eddie, careful of the binding.

“I love you, too,” he says, and the proud glow in his chest feels even stronger. “Now get writing, Shakespeare.”

[gravedigginbbydoll]

An Extra Step

Eddie Munson x Bilingual! GN Reader

AN: Heyo! So, I was randomly inspired to write this little blurb. I'm sorry for being AWOL so much, grad school has been kicking my ass. I promise to update my current WIPs as soon as I can. Anyways, this is based on myself being bilingual :) In the blue text is when the other language is spoken. I kept it vague and not specific so that other people who may be bilingual or have English as a second language could relate.

CW: mentions of food, mentions of family, mentions of childhood, no gender mentioned, pet names, kissing, emotional, fluffy

It started as a tiny thing, a little nudge from deep within. It was a warm summer day in Hawkins, you and Eddie relaxing in the trailer. Wayne had given you two your own trailer (right next to him, of course), and you had a jar on the table, coins and dollar bills stacked up in it, determined to get your own place one day together. Preferably a house or apartment, but that was a worry for later. You and Eddie were lounging about, you perched at the kitchen while Eddie was sprawled out on the sofa, attempting to cool off. You leaned against the counter, reading a postcard you’d received from a family member. You giggled at the message they wrote, peaking Eddie’s interest. He smiled, turning to you, sitting up a bit. 

“What’s so funny, babe?,” He asked, cocking his head in that golden retriever way, his eyes curious. 

You bit your lip, unsure how to explain. “Uh well… my cousin wrote me a postcard,” You explained, shrugging. 

Eddie walked over, looking over your shoulder at the note before he deflated a litte. “Oh. It’s not in English,” He stated, a bit disappointed. 

You nodded, biting your lip, thinking. You explained the joke briefly, giggling while doing so, but Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed and you felt your heart sink a bit. 

You never told Eddie, but sometimes you felt like you lost yourself little by little without your first language. Jokes translated incorrectly, you were unable to express certain things in English, and you felt like a part of yourself was dimmed. You wished Eddie could understand your family and even your own moments of frustration, when that little piece of you slipped out, only for him to look a bit confused.

You shook your head, smiling awkwardly, and putting up the letter. “Nevermind…It’s not as funny in English.” You put up the card, taking Eddie’s hand over to the couch. “C’mon. Let’s watch a movie.” 

Eddie could see the pain in your eyes when he didn’t understand your native tongue. He felt his heart squeeze each time, cursing himself for not learning it the moment he learned you had another piece to your puzzle. 

Which was what prompted the secret research. 

Fuck, Eddie had never even studied for school exams this hard. 

He started his search at the library, asking around and trying to see if there were any classes nearby. He learned there were some lessons and books around, though they had to be ordered and the meetings were three towns over. But anything to see you smile. 

Eddie poured over the books, kept a secret journal with all his notes from the clubs he attended (which truly were just people who spoke the language getting together to talk and exchange snacks, some of the older ladies pinching Eddie’s cheeks and smiling over at him.).

He knew you were suspicious, consistently glancing over at him confused when he would show up from the meeting late in the night, lying to say it was extra work hours. 

He poured over cassettes you had in your native tongue when you weren't home, learning the lyrics to your favorite songs. 

Hell, he even began trying to think in the language. (Easier said than done, he had no idea how you balanced the two)

But it was all worth it for that night. 

Eddie had taken the day off, gone to the international grocery store that was miles away, only to drive back, and begin prepping. He was making a meal he remembered you saying you missed, something near and dear to your heart and childhood. He knew it would take a bit of prep work and sweat, but Eddie was willing. 

He grinned to himself, heart swelling with pride. 

He couldn’t wait. 

When you walked through the door that night, you felt your heart stop. Familiar smells that you hadn’t smelled in years floated through the kitchen, your heart racing. You heard Eddie singing along softly in the kitchen, your native tongue clumsy on his lips, but making your heart swell, your eyes water a bit. 

“E-Eddie? What’s all this?,” You asked cautiously, eyebrows furrowed, eyes watering and blurring your vision. 

“It’s your favorite…I figured you deserved a treat!,” He replied…in your language. It was clumsy, the pronunciation not perfect. But your breath caught nonetheless. 

“You did all this…for me?,” You whispered, clutching tightly at your heart as tears rolled down your cheeks. 

Eddie smiled softly, walking over, softly running a finger under your chin to look up at him. “Of course. I love you,” He whispered back, his voice thick with emotion. 

Tears streamed down your face, vision blurred as you threw your arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder, your heart overflowing with emotions, your hands clutching at him. You whispered ‘I love you’ over and over, sobs racking your shoulders as Eddie held you, rubbing your back, kissing the top of your head. It meant the world to finally hear those words in your tongue and being able to whisper it back.

That night was filled with warm and full bellies, laughter and leading Eddie through pronunciation, learning of his secret little escapades (So that’s why he hadn’t been as hungry! Those little grandmas were stuffing him with food…) and showering Eddie with kisses. 

Never in your life had you felt so seen and loved. 

Eddie Munson was it for you.

[beatcroc]

a year!!! as of today i have now been drawing these funny little pizza freaks, to the exclusion of almost everything else, for!!! an entire year!!! i wanted to do a nice group shot/lineup of everybody to compare to when i first started trying to draw them because oh boy were they bad. i never even posted most of them anywhere because they were so bad. but im posting them here, now, to see how everything's changed/evolved.

this is probably the hardest time i've ever had trying to figure out how to work with a style, but we got there eventually; i'm pretty happy with the handle i've got on everybody now...dont let ur memes be dreams. lots of unimportant journaling and idle thoughts abt it below.

older pics

the first one is the VERY first time i drew them, before i thought i was going to actually have any interest in drawing them [lmao]; it was just the one isolated image, for my friendserver, to illustrate the funney message, so there was no attempt to make it Good or actually understand anything going on w/ the designs or style.

second is the original run of practices sketches to start trying to figure them out for real; done after i started having ideas for the comics and such and realized oh god maybe i am actually gonna draw fanart for this. [again, lol, and lmao.]

third one is the first pt art thing i posted on here. there were a couple weeks of sprite studies between this one and the previous image. the one on the top right wasn't part of that post i just threw it on as space filler; i'd intended to shift to doing Sprite Redraws But Stylized to explore tings more, but that was the only one i did. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

individual characters

peppino: by far the hardest dear god. bro what ARE your shapes how DOES your face work. jesus christ. everything i have trouble with this style for, peppino has it in excess. i draw in polygons! i need consistency! and that is the last thing this kind of style is concerned with. they are made of squarshy clay and i do not understand how to mold them. i was really hoping trying to learn this game's style would GIVE me that kind of flexibility for fun exaggerated facial expression but i don't think much came of it in the end 😔. anyway on the bright side all this means once i got peppino figured out a little bit everybody else clicked way easier.

fake peppino: honestly i never did anything with him on purpose except for how his eyes work + the perma-smile thing. i figured ok hes supposed to look weird and off model so whatever happens with him happens. and it did. and it kept happening. it is still, in fact, happening.

noise/ette: somehow, for every bit that peppino was the least natural thing i've ever tried, these two worked pretty much right off the bat. i still don't understand it, seeing as pretty much all the things at play for peppino are also at work for them. i think the new sketches are actually a little worse than older ones but not enough that i care.

gustavo: really funny bc i drew him on model twice and just went 'okay, cool nice, easy, um. he doesn't have any fucking legs?' fortunately he was the only one i had a strong idea for how to stylize him [square] and it worked exactly as i was hoping so wahoo.

brick: is an animal and therefore 5000x easier and more natural for me to draw/stylize than anything else in the cast. that is Just a rat bro. i can draw a rat.

gerome: i think the funniest one here. the most drastic and least necessary change imo. i was gonna have him be really small at first, like smaller than the noises, but then i just... didn't. he's just peppino-sized now. also i gave him like. actual human facial structure, which is funny bc in most cases i'd do anything to avoid, but it works well for his being A Rock to give him some angles and definition like that+ to differentiate his vibe from the rest of the cast who are all very squishy. also since he is essentially Just A Head it's good to emphasize that too ig.

john: i only drew john a couple times but he gets to be here because i like him. and because most of the stuff i applied to gerome was readily applicable to john, though i did try to keep him a little more uncanny because he is a Huge And Lanky Freak. i hate that he is barefoot btw but idk how to make his color balance look right with shoes.

pizzahead: i did not want to put him on here honestly but i Have drawn him a handful of times and more importantly i didn't know what i was gonna do with john's pose if i didn't have him there to be glared at. the only thing that's different with him is giving him wider-bottomed pants, which i got from when i tried to draw these guys in clone high style [i never posted that one either][i will eventually]

snick: he gets to be here because 1. he's like 6 lines 2. i like him and 3. ive scribbled him a few times offhand and it went pretty well

misc

there are some guys missing because those are guys i didn't draw enough [or at all] to have gotten comfortable with them. sorry

i would have Liked to shade these but for the time being i have accepted that my grasp of light/shadow has decayed to the point im not going to be happy with anything i try there, so For Now i am working on my presentation with flats i guess. gerome has a shadow only because he's shaded like that ingame and looks naked without it

anyway if you are still reading [hi?] i get to shamelessly plug now. i'm over the hill of my pizza run now, and while i still have plenty of things i want to make here, most of the bigger more in-depth ones have passed. pizza tower was the first thing in THREE YEARS to get me out of my oc groove to doing fanart, and once i am done with my ideas here i will be going right back to it. if you like my art or how i write characters/interactions you should check out my oc/webcomic blog @jamverse . i can't promise people who like pizza stuff will be terribly into my designs, but i can guarantee i treat my guys with the exact same sort of tone i handle the pt guys with. and hell, i've mentioned it a few times before, but like 70% of my characterization for fake pep is just copied off one of my characters, so if u are going to miss him... he will still be there in spirit >;p

and if you dont care about any of that and are still reading thank you anyway. actually making these comics + seeing how shockingly well-received they've been has done a lot for my confidence, and for seeing that my kind of stuff IS something people enjoy :')

[chiefdirector]

Remembering | Tim Bradford | The Rookie

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten

tw: some suicidal thoughts referenced (one sentence)

-----

“What do you know about your case worker, Kade Sullivan?” Grey said, still keeping his gaze on (Y/N) despite her looking away and back through the glass to watch Tim questioning Diaz. “We believe that he may have had some involvement into how Regina Diaz got to a position to leverage both you and the department.”

“Right. I never really saw Sullivan. He stayed away from me. I met him once, maybe twice. He likes to keep a professional distance.” She slowly answered. 

Grey lifted his coffee cup up and took a small sip. “You’re a good judge of character, (Y/N). Did anything seem off about him? I know it was a while back but anything helps.”

“He seemed a bit odd, nervous even. But I put it down to him being paranoid about the operation. I mean it can’t be easy for these caseworkers to not have consistent contact with their UC’s.”

“What do you mean? Did you not check in with him daily?”

“No.” (Y/N) said, looking down. Now that she said it out loud, it was strange that Kade never requested to check in with her and Williamson often. “He wanted weekly check-ups. He never said why though.”

“Is there anything else? At all because the more you can remember, the less leverage Regina will have to bargain with us.”

“I’m sorry, Wade. I really am. I can have a look through some of my journals from that time, I think Tim kept them.”

Grey nodded his head. “Please. I guess it’s now down to Tim.”

-----

“Hello Officer Bradford, I’m glad to see you back in here again after your break. You kept me waiting for longer than I had hoped.” Regina said, posed as a wall of confidence as she had done during every other talk with the detectives. “I found it rather rude.”

“Not my problem.” Tim retook his seat opposite her. He had stepped out when Regina had started to get irate with him, he needed her as calm and rational, well as rational as a drug queen-pin could be, before he could get anything viable from her. 

He remembered the day he had arrested her, how helpless and frightened she seemed. She was backed into a corner, but now she had a fighting chance and by God did she know it. “You wanted a deal. Let me say this one more time. Tell us about Kade Sullivan and I’m sure the District Attorney will be nicer to you.”

Regina smirked. “No. I have something you want. So I lay out the terms. You know what I want after our… exchange but I want something first. I think that is only fair, considering your situation.”

“My situation?”

“Oh you know. How (Y/N)‘s being back in LA will cause some problems for you and your colleagues.” Regina watched, laughing softly as Tim’s face twisted in confusion. “You really think that just because I’m sitting in handcuffs that I wouldn’t follow through on my threat.”

“Whatever it is, call it off. Now!”

“How about you do something for me first, Officer Bradford. Quid Pro Quo.”

“Fine. What do you want?”

“I want you to tell me how it felt two years ago when I forced (Y/N) to vanish. How it felt to lose your wife and not being good enough to find her.”

Of all the things he expected her to say, this was one of the last. He had thought that she would have asked to walk free, or a reduced sentence at the least, but she just wanted to relish in his pain. 

She wanted to know how numbing it felt for him to filter by day to day, his reason to carry on with each day painstakingly stolen from. She wanted to enjoy the powerlessness he had felt when each lead led to another heartbreaking dead end. She wanted him to be reminded of each day, and how they got more and more painful as time went past. Her demand was a reminder of the nights he would drink himself to sleep because that was the only way he could close his eyes and not see (Y/N) face in his mind.

It was a reminder of how he couldn’t look at daisies without crying, or enjoy music, or find a purpose. It was a reminder that he had become a hateful shell of who he used to be, and that even though she was back with him, he didn't know if he would ever get that piece of his former self back. It was a reminder of how he planned for an easy way out for himself if the grief got too bad.

Regina wanted to remind Tim that she had taken it all away before, and that she could take it all away again. And she wanted him to admit that.

“So, Officer Bradford. What will it be?”

Tim launched himself up so he could lean down on the table and over her, “You should know how I felt. It was probably the same way you did when your husband died when the LAPD raided one of his warehouses. I was there that day. I took him, so you took her. But I got my wife back, but your husband is still six feet under.”

“How dare you!” Regina screeched, as she rattled in the chains, trying to find her way out of the cuffs. For the first time since she had been arrested, she lost her well maintained composure.  

Tim took a step back from the table. “Thank you for cooperating. Prison transport will be here for you soon.”

“But what about our deal?! You won’t know what's coming without me.”

“I think we’ll be fine, Ms. Diaz,” Tim kept his back to her as he stopped at the door “because we now know that we were being hunted, so now we can prepare. So, thanks for the heads up. Enjoy prison.”

As soon as the door shut behind him, Tim leant against the door, trying to make sense of what had happened. Surely she was bluffing, they could monitor her calls and her visitation  to try to not allow her to give any command, but if she was as intelligent and conniving as she had presented herself to be, she would find a way around it. 

As he heard Grey and (Y/N) exit the observation room, he pushed himself off the door. Grey held himself strong, not showing any panic or concern at this stage, but his eyes darted in thought, clearly going over the possibilities of what could happen now. (Y/N) presented herself similarly, except her tell was the fiddling of her wedding band. She used to play with her engagement ring, but due to the dangers of the job and the possibility of it causing harm when in contact with a perp, she quickly replaced it with a plain wedding band, identical to Tim’s.

“So what now? You don’t really believe her, do you?”

(Y/N) moved to place her hand on Tim’s arm. “I wouldn’t put anything past her.”

“Then it’s settled,”  Grey said, “We hope for the best and plan for the worst.”

Part Ten | Part Twelve

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Tags: @xceafh  @kmc1989  @buba424 @salty0cracker @iamasimpingh0e

Tags are open :)

[melancholic-and-delusional]

Fyodor NSWF Alphabet

Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

A = Aftercare (How do they treat you after sex?)

  

   Don't expect anything too special. He'd do his best to make you comfortable and stay close with you, but it won't be anything extra. Nevertheless,  he's going to treat you right. He'd take a shower or a bath with you if he has enough energy left, and he'd always cuddle you to sleep.

B = Body Part (What is their favorite body part of theirs and their partner's?)

   In himself, I'd say he likes his facial features.  I don't think he likes his body that much since he is pretty weak and frail, but I do believe that he finds his face appealing.

   You, on the other hand, are special to him, so he finds every part of you beautiful. If he had to pick a favorite, however, he'd say he likes your eyes, arms  and chest (see more for chest on letter W) the best. He loves gazing into your eyes while having a conversation. He notices the way you look at him with a love-filled gaze, and that definitely fuels his ego. He likes your arms, especially if they're more muscular than his, because he appreciates your stronger body. He absolutely loves it when you wrap your arms around him. He feels so very loved.

C = Cum (Everything to do with it. 😘)

   I'd say he comes a bit more than the average. I don't think it's that often that he has sex or jerks off, so when he actually does come, he has a heavier load. As for its consistency, it's a slimier than it is liquid-ish. It is white and not that clear, and it tastes a bit sweet, actually.  He loves loves LOVES coming on you. It's like he's marking his territory. So possessive, and for what? 🙄

D = Dirty Secret (Self-explanatory)

   Fyodor definitely has a folder on his computer dedicated to you. It has photos, videos, and random journal entries of yours. They are not all sexual, but some are. The "dirtiest" part about it, is that he keeps it a secret from you. Since you're in a relationship, it's not unusual for him to keep photos of you, but he does like to look at them when bored and perhaps even rub one off if you aren't available to him or he gets too stressed over work.

E = Experience (Have they done this before? How good are they?)

   I honestly think that you're his first. He is a busy man and he doesn't like sleeping around. For him, sex is intimate and special, so he'd only like to share this type of thing with someone he really trusts and values. But despite his lack of experience,  he's surprisingly good.

F = Favourite Position (Self-explanatory)

   A classic man who likes classic things. He mostly enjoys different kinds of missionary and cow girl from time to time. He avoids things like doggy style. He thinks it's not intimate enough and would rather make eye contact while doing the deed.

G = Goofy (Are they rather serious during the moment or do they like to crack jokes?)

   He leans on the more serious side here. As I've said, this kind of thing is very intimate and special for him, so he prefers to be in the moment with you.

H = Hair (Do the carpets match the drapes? 🤭 Are they well kept?)

   Of course, the carpets match the drapes. He does keep it pretty clean down there. He doesn't like to be super hairy, so he shaves once every month and sometimes even more often. As for you, he doesn't mind if you have hair or not, as long as you keep everything under control.

I = Intimacy (How intimate are they?)

   Fyodor is very intimate. The whole point of sex for him is to be intimate, and he takes that very seriously.  Hence the reason why he wouldn't sleep around and would much prefer to make love to someone who he truly trusts and values. He will always make sure that whatever you guys do is always consensual and you are never uncomfortable. 

J = Jack off (How often do they do it?)

   Before he got together with you, he must have chosen you and persuaded you himself. So when one morning he woke up with morning wood and couldn't just shake it off, he decided it was finally time. But while he was doing it, he thought about you. That's when he knew he had to be with you. He used to jerk off when the time called for it, but now that he has you, he does it even less. The only time he actually does it is when you aren't in the mood or you're away for whatever reason.

K = Kink (Self-explanatory)

   He's pretty normal kink-wise (for the most part).

   Fyodor loves when you praise him. Sure, he knows he's very intelligent and great, and all that, but it's different when it comes out of your mouth. He might act cocky in that moment, but he... is actually cocky. Very prideful, for sure. He doesn't mind returning the favor and praising you as well. After all, you're his chosen one.

   He also likes to tie you up. It gives him a better sense of control, and he enjoys having you at his mercy. It would be rare for him to let you tie him up, though. He's willing to try it a couple of times, but don't expect him to do it frequently. He trusts you fully, but you should know your place.

   He likes it when you dress up for him, too. Especially if he's the one choosing your set of lingerie. It's so nice to see his girl all dolled-up for him. He prefers seeing you in white (sometimes red or pink) silk undergarments with cute laces and maybe some small bows. Bonus points if you're wearing thigh highs. He also loves slowly taking off said lingerie. He finds it very sexy.

L = Location (Where do they like to do it?)

   He avoids doing it in public. He much prefers doing it in the comfort of your home. In fact, he never wants to do it in public or even semi-public. It must be something really really urgent for him to actually agree to do it. It happens like once or twice at most. Why would he want somebody else to have the chance to stumble upon you two? Only he gets to see you this way after all, and besides that, he wouldn't want anyone else to catch him in such a vulnerable position.

M = Motivation (What turns them on?)

   Most of the time, it happens while you guys are making out. You would be about thirty to forty minutes into your make-out session, and he would desire you more with each passing minute. Of course, one thing leads to another it's only natural.

   There are some occasions, though, when he would get turned on by just the thought of you. In those cases, he tries his best to contain himself and waits patiently until he can be with you.

   There have also been times when he wakes up with morning wood, and you're right there next to him in bed. You could never refuse to pleasure him when he looks so adorable and when he kisses your neck so gently, yet each peck is filled with lust, and you can't help but slowly melt into his touch.

N = NO (What do they always refuse to do?)

   He would never agree to a threesome. He thinks that sex involving more than two people is only for polyamorous relationships. He's quite possessive and does not like to share.

   I think it's safe to say he would hate it if you were to give him some kinky titles such as "daddy" or "master". He finds them cheesy, and they make him feel uncomfortable, but he does like to hear you call him "sir" from time to time.

   He also hates getting degraded. He knows he doesn't deserve to be called any of those ugly names that people tend to call each other during sex. He can't imagine why anyone would enjoy that. Why would he want the love of his life to put him down in bed?

O = Oral (Do they prefer giving or receiving? Are they good?)

   He does prefer receiving over giving (kinda selfish 🙄😔). He loves it when you are below him as if you're bowing down to him, and you're also trying to pleasure him. It's honestly so heartwarming watching you take such good care of him, and he can't help but smile at the sight of you.

   He also likes giving head (but not as much as he loves receiving 🥱). He likes how you tug at his hair and praise him while he's in between your legs. It's nice to hear you moan when he knows you feel so well because of him.

P = Pace (How quick do they go?)

   He enjoys soft and passionate sex with you. He wouldn't do it very quickly since he isn't energetic, but even if he was, he'd still prefer to do it slower and take his sweet time. But that does not mean he won't get rough from time to time. If he wants to, he can always penetrate you deeper and harsher (as long as you're into it, of course).

Q = Quickie (Do they like them? How often do they do them?)

   He absolutely hates quickies. He'd only do them if he really really needed to. It would usually happen if he suddenly gets a boner during work, but he doesn't have time to have full-on sex with you, so he just calls you to his office for a quick relief.

R = Risk (Are they willing to experiment? How far would they go?)

   He would surprisingly be up for trying new things, as long as they don't completely disgust him. You guys won't try new things often, but he'd spice things up from time to time. For example, he'd bring a new interesting toy, try out some new kink, tie you up in an interesting and complex way, etc. But he wouldn't go as far as incorporating a weapon during the act because sex is for pleasure and not pain.

S = Stamina (How energetic are they?)

   As I said before, he's not very energetic due to his anemia. He would most likely do one round, rest for a few minutes while kissing/making out with you and do another round. He can last for around 4-7 rounds, but that excludes oral sex. Usually, you'll give him a blow-job in between some rounds or vice-versa.

T = Toy (What do they think of them? Do they incorporate them into bed often?)

   He prefers to use toys on you rather than himself. He loves experimenting with different kinds of vibrators, dildos and other toys, and seeing what kind of reactions he can get out of you. He finds it very entertaining, especially when he overstimulates you.

   He, however, only uses a cock ring once in a while. Sometimes he let's you experiment on him, but don't expect it to be too often.

U = Unfair (Do they like to tease?)

   He loves to tease, as I mentioned above. Besides overstimulating you, he also likes to edge you. It's fun to see you frustrated because he seized his movements, and you lost yet another orgasm.

   Sometimes, you try to get back at him, but that ends up backfiring on you. You would be sucking him off, and all of a sudden, you'd stop or slow down. He would gently pull you by the hair to face him and threaten to prevent you from orgasming until the next time you two have sex. That will quickly make you rethink your decisions. But some other times, you'll try the opposite on him - overstimulation. Then, he isn't likely to stop you since he doesn't have the energy to because he's especially sensitive after an orgasm. However, when you're done having your fun, expect him to return the favor twice as hard.

V = Volume (Are they loud?)

   He doesn't like making a lot of noise. That doesn't mean that he wouldn't, though. He tries his best to control himself, but he just can't help it. In the beginning, he would make low grunts and gasps, but as the sex progresses, he'll get more vocal. Definitely has some of the prettiest moans known to humankind. When you overstimulate him, your ears will 100% be blessed by the most godlike melody you've ever heard.

W = Wild Card (Random headcanon)

   Fyodor has an appreciation for your chest, so whenever he has the chance, he'll squeeze your boobs (he doesn't have a preference for size, don't worry). It's one of his favorite places to leave his hickeys on, besides your neck. He'd always try to have a hand around your chest, or he would take time kissing it in between rounds. He handles it very gently and with lots of care. He also likes to play with your nipples and watch you twitch from his cold touch against this sensitive spot of yours. He likes fucking his dick in between them and coming all over them. It's a giant turn on for him. If you're having sex during your period and your breasts are sore, he'd take his sweet time massaging them and caressing them.

X = X-ray (What is below their waist?)

   His dick is about 6.2 inches  (15.7 cm) soft and 6.8 inches (17.2 cm) hard. It is slightly more slender than average, and the tip is a brownish color. It's slightly tilted to the right and has two or three more prominent veins along it. The most sensitive parts are definitely the tip and his testicles.

Y = Yearning (How much do they want it?)

   He has slightly lower than average libido. He'll probably make love to you once every two or three weeks, but during some months he'll get random bursts of neediness and have sex with you more often (for example, once or even twice a week).

Z = ZZZ... (Do they fall asleep quickly after the act?)

   Since he doesn't have much stamina, and he wastes a lot of it during sex, I'd say he falls asleep rather quickly. He likes to hold you in his arms as the two of you drift off to sleep. But sometimes you'll get tired faster than him while he is still in the mood. That doesn't happen very often but when it does, cock warming comes into play. Then, you'll usually fall asleep while he has buried his dick deep inside you. If that happens, the next morning he'll probably wake up from a wet dream and continue what you couldn't finish the previous night.

Thank you so much for reading. I really hope you enjoyed it. As always, if you'd like for me to write you something BSD related, my requests are open.

[plz-help-meeee]

The shadows are my friends!!

Tw: Mention of suicide, cringe???, logic is none in, death,

A/n: this is my first fic, this is inspired by "get off my screen" by @matrixbearer2024 go check them out their really cool. I really did want to add more to this fic but I couldn't think of anything else so if you have question or have headcannons about this that you want to share you can send them to me.

Synopsis: just a normal teenage dirtbag who can also parts of hell without being dead.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

It started small with seeing little shadow out of the corner of your eye, Thinking you saw a critter go under your chair but you thought this was all just normal stuff that people always see.

That was until you started to see the sky be a red color only for you to rub your eyes or look away and it to go back to normal. Strange tall figure walking by you and you turning back to see no one there.

One day when you were walking back home you saw what looked to be weird red demons and a wolf girl in an alleyway, you spied on them as they walked through a portal talking about having just finished a job.

You lean against the wall after they were gone, you should have been scared, you should have been panicking but a smile creeped its way up your face. Any other person would have been confused and terrified but to a suicidal teenage dirtbag like you this was the most exciting thing to happen in your dull life.

You started to stare up at the red sky longer wondering how long it would take for it to change back to normal, you drew the figures you would see trying to get as many details as you could get right.

You started to change, you started to say 'good morning' and 'I love you' in a more happy tone, you became for active in school.

You even made little horns made of cardboard and fabric in the style you saw the red demons had, you saw a figure who had spikes on their tail once and you decided to make a tail to go with the horns that looked like the figures, you know it was cringey but it made you happy.

You started to recognize the streets you'd frequently see specific figures at, you'd always see this tall owl thing walk down the street you walk down to get home, the demon you walk by who had spikes on his tail would walk down the park you go to to relax

One time you close enough to touch the spiked tail demon's hat, you got so excited, you started to try and touch every figure you walked by.

There was this one figure that stood still no walking by you, or scooting just out of sight, they were just standing there. The figure was tall, much taller then you, they color palette consisted of mostly blue, they had what looked to be fire as it's head, in fact it had three heads one in the middle and two on either side of it.

You were afraid to look away thinking it would disappear as soon as you did, you tried to reach out to touch one of the heads but you stopped when you heard a voice "Ozzie!!". You turned around to see who said that but you found nobody, the figure started to move and you were able to touch their arm just slightly.

You never really saw that figure again, but that was okay you had plenty of others you could see. You patted the tall owl things shoulder whenever you would walk by him on your way to school, you tipped the spiked tail demon's hat over his eyes for fun when you could.

You kept a journal were you wrote down which figures you passed by on what street and also drawings of the figures with little information panels besides the drawing, you named the owl thing towel (cause tall and owl, get it, I'm not funny I know) the spiked tail demon was named cowboy, the figure that had three fire heads was named Ozzie (Asmodeus???, no that would be absurd, right?)

Everything was going great and you started to improve, you got better at speaking to people, had gotten a better relationship with your mom, heck you even texted your brother the one person you said you would never want to see again.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

Today you were walking to school like always, you got your backpack, ate your breakfast and got your lunch box. You said by to your mom and was about to leave but you got this gut feeling, something telling you to do something. You walk up to your mom who was on the phone and hugged her, "I love you mom" you said in a genuine voice.

Your mother looked surprised at your hug but decided to hug back, "I love you too baby" your mom said back with smile on her face. This was the first time you two had said you love each other without malice or irritation in your voices.

You walk outed of your house and to your school, on the way you patted towel's shoulder like usual and hummed a song. You were near the part were you had to cross the road.

You saw a little kid run into the street to chase after a duck toy they had, you noticed quicker then anyone that car was heading straight towards the kid. You reacted fast as you ran towards the child to get them out of the way.

You grabbed the kid's arm and pulled them close to you as you kneeled down to shield them. Thankfully the car the avoided you and the child by mere inches, you scoffed when you saw that the driver was on their phone through their car window.

The child looked upset "my-" "toy?" you cut the child off, "right here" you said as you showed them their duck toy that you managed to save in time. "You should really be more careful kid, your life cost more then some toy." you lectured the kid about safety, you felt like a hypocrite saying all this considering only a few months away you were ready to die at any time.

Your lecture stopped when you felt a cold metal press against your head, "you just can't seem to die can you?" a familiar voice said. You turned your head around slowly, "bro-" you were cut off as everything went black.

[harlequinj94]

Language in Fortuna

Way too much of my time has been spent wondering why the fuck Fortuna has Latin, French, and Italian words all over the place, and my mind eventually settled on “because Corsica is also a place that exists in the real world, so why the fuck not”. So that’s what the Fortunan language is heavily based off of now. There’s still the fact that modern, standardized versions of French and Italian are also present on the island. And then we have to assume they speak English too in some capacity because foreigners.

So now we have this, my awful attempt at justifying these decisions through the power of worldbuilding, wiki deep-diving, and being a linguistics nerd! This is in order of more or less how I expect the language evolution to go. Please keep in mind that I am in no way a language/linguistic expert so please be nice.

Starting off with the first language of the island, Old Fortunan

The real-world analogy here is Corsican because in order to incorporate a language that includes Latin, Italian, and French words, Fortunan pretty much has to be a Romance language.

So basically, Fortuna had its own Vulgar Latin-based language during the time Sparda lived there. It’s actually the first human language he learned and spoke fluently.

Given that this was around 2000 years ago, it was probably still more Latin-sounding than it currently is. I have also decided that this was when a lot of the natural landmarks and locations were named (i.e.: Lamia Peak, Port Caerula, etc.)

A lot of old writings are written in either Old Fortunan or Latin. All of Sparda’s writings are written in Old Fortunan which is something he kept up after leaving, even if he did eventually learn other languages.

Fun fact: Vergil learns Fortunan this way! When he was young and Sparda was still alive, he would have his father read him journals of his old adventures and the places he’d been. Vergil eventually retrieved these books when he started his quest for obtaining Sparda’s power and studied the language from them so he could go to Fortuna and get more information. He was a little sad when he realized the language modernized.

Nero and Sera are shocked as shit when Vergil opens his mouth and starts speaking to them all “Shakespearean-like” one day and quickly start ribbing him for it because he sounds like he’s 800 years old.

Similar to Vulgar Latin, Old Fortunan was never the language of the educated, but it was the language that was spoken so it eventually got standardized enough to have a written version, but spelling is not super consistent. The educated counterpart was Latin, which also served as the official language of the church at the time.

While no one speaks Old Fortunan anymore, it’s still understood in the way that Shakespearean English is to present-day English speakers. This is because Old Fortunan is basically Modern Fortunan without the Italian and French influence so core vocabulary and grammar are the same.

Modern Fortunan

The official language of the island and Order of the Sword.

Naturally evolved from Old Fortunan with occasional Italian influence. Fortuna really only had one invasion attempt on it and was super late in the island’s history so there was next to no effect on the language.

The spelling got standardized; there’s an ongoing debate about whether it’s worth trying to rewrite some old historical text with modern orthography. It wasn’t a huge priority of the Order (because things were constantly being rewritten), but the topic came up again as part of the reconstruction and revitalization.

Vergil is actually super useful in this regard because he’s used to reading Sparda’s old writings (which were already written pre-standardization and may as well be the Wild West when it comes to spelling) so he can breeze through anything as long as it’s legible.

Italian

Italy is the closest mainland country to Fortuna and people have always emigrated from there so there’s a ton of overlap with the languages.

In fact, Italian is mutually intelligible with Fortunan, so a lot of visitors who speak it have an easy time talking to locals. As a result, Italian-speaking foreigners are usually treated a lot better.

This is the language foreigners are recommended to learn if they want to visit even though it’s not as necessary as before.

It’s very much spoken only; the language is not used in any official capacity and never was. However, it is found on some occasional signage in the more touristy areas like the docks and nearby shops.

French

The presence of French on Fortuna is funny in that it exists in church settings only and most of the population pretends it’s not there.

The story goes that a long time ago (we’ll say the early 1700s), some French-speaking missionaries heard of the island of literal devil worshippers and tried to come over and convert them to Catholicism. It didn’t work, not even a little bit.

However, the Order of the Sword liked how the missionaries conducted Mass and adopted that and just replaced all references to God and Jesus with Sparda similar to the practices of the actual Catholic church ironically. So that’s why everything about the religion screams “Catholic” even though it by all rights shouldn’t be.

France later tried to come back with soldiers under the guise of “the island barbarians perverted the word and rites of God”, but soon realized that the Order of the Sword was a) more militantly competent than expected and b) 100% willing to lead the enemy straight to the hell gates that occasionally pop up on the island and let the demons have them and c) dubious scientific practices were a thing even back then and no Fortunans complained as long as it was enemy POWs that went missing.

There was a period when the aristocratic families tried to adopt the language as a way of differentiating themselves from the lower class, but again, it didn’t stick. (It lasted maybe one generation, but definitely not two) The only remnant of this is nobles occasionally having names taken from liturgical rites  (i.e.: Kyrie, Credo)

Foreigners also adopt church names upon being baptized into the Order because it’s usually easier than trying to figure out their name’s equivalent in Fortunan (i.e.: Agnus, Gloria)

English

English is also here because suddenly that’s what all the new foreigners were speaking.

It only came to the island within the last 100 years so really only the young people can speak it competently. Older folks don’t bother.

Foreigners who plan on immigrating are expected to drop English. Like, you cannot fully be considered a Fortunan until you stop using it.

This mentality kicks in if you’ve been on the island longer than two weeks generally. If the locals consistently see you around and it doesn’t look like you’re leaving soon, they’re not speaking English to you anymore. The nice ones may start using Italian but English is done.

Nico is subjected to this really hard, especially once her relationship with Agnus becomes known (also her name throws people off and they assume she’s Italian speaking anyway)

Speaking of Agnus, he came to the island knowing both French and Italian which gave him a huge in with the Order.

Lady was also subjected to this really hard back during her investigation into the Order pre-DMC4 which is one of the reasons why she had Dante take over. She stuck around too long and the locals just stopped speaking to her in English and she didn’t speak or understand Italian well enough at the time to continue.

[rhynestonez]

-Hello!! This is a draft I am currently working with, I hope you all enjoy it and please give any feedback! I rlly want to get back into writing and need motivation.

- this has not been reviewed for errors.

Warnings: body mutilation, ocd mention.

Part Of Your Design (draft 1)

Inquisitive and cunning- that's what you were, in the course of time it developed into an irritating habit that got you situated in uncomfortable conversations. Your father attempted countless times to snap you out of the alluring curiosity you had of others. Lectured you not to follow anyone that just so happened to catch your eye, yet your intrusiveness had a suffocating grip around you anyway, and you'd fall backwards and down the rabbit hole of your old habits.

Although you'd bow and give verbal responses back to his nagging, in your own head- you knew your feelings wouldn't differ on the matter, it was bound to happen again wether you liked it or not. As much as you hated to admit it, you were hooked. In your defense- you never downright approached anyone, your social skills were not equal to your observational ones. You just simply followed them until they've gone too far, or, you started to lack enough interested to continue- most of the time, they didn't even acknowledge your presence and it didn't cause any harm.

You had gone weeks without breaking and feeding into the attraction of every individual that passed you, even when you were high above the ground- watching from afar from your opened bedroom window, while the hours rapidly ticked away you jotted quick slapdash notes of anything you found intriguing enough, even adding poorly scribbled representation right beside it. The leather fitted notebook was gifted to you by your mother, it was engraved with your name on the spine, something so special had to be used for special things, right?

To your surprise, it seemed to ease the overpowering want that frequently sparked and caught aflame, it burned out any thoughts and replaced it with the craving you've been trying to decimate. For someone so young, the inquisitiveness inside you was inexorable. The intense desire to learn whatever was beyond your self knowing, to even have the luck of witnessing anything new to fill your book with- with that being said, you knew yourself were trouble and your parents knew it too.

However, the curiosity you held turned into dread when you had dragged yourself back to your doorstep one evening, bleeding, crying, and had not only lost apart of personality but also apart of your body.

Where your arm should've been, it looked as if it had been violently torn from your shoulder- left with nothing but remaining strings of hanging stretched flesh, streams of thick crimson red pouring from the wound. It was tragic, the consequences of your impulsiveness curiosity struck more powerfully that day- more than it ever had. All in hopes to bring back the ruined journal. Which, to be fair- you had, but in cruel exchange of your right arm. It was your fault, you could admit it this one time- as stubborn as you were to admit it other times before.

Alchemy is treacherous, but you hadn't known that. Your mind was so occupied on healing the company that supplied happiness and comfort to you, as cruel as it was to say, you should've learned your lesson by now. That afternoon would forever haunt you, the pure memory of yourself begging, sobbing- blood spurting on the concrete ground. The rain that poured from the clouds that evening mixed with the scarlet blood that was spilled, soaked into the clothes that was now tainted with red and droplets of rainfall.

As time from that day moved on, your mother managed to put together metal arms consistently, to keep up with your salvaged arm's growth. Meanwhile, you kept yourself busy with books- after the poor attempt of alchemy, you were passionately determined to properly learn everything there was to it- to hopefully try it one day without failure.

With every passing year, the permanent reminder of that horrid day- only poured fuel to the dying fire.

[karmaisakhaleesi]

💫 Astronomy~ Neteyam Sully x fem!human! reader Chap. 5 💫

masterlist~

prev. chap.~

warnings~ language, violence, blood, death mentioned, please lmk if i missed any!

wordcount~ 3.4k+

italic dialogue is in Na'vi

sorry for the late update! school has been super busy, but my spring break starts tomorrow, which means more writing!

~➳➳➳~

And now I know, now I know It's time to go, it's time to go...

~➳➳➳~

The days seemed to go by in the blink of an eye, and suddenly it was time for you to leave the lab. You quickly packed your things when you heard a knock on the door. You turned to see Norm standing in the threshold of your room, a plain wooden box in his hand.

"Can I come in?" he asks as you nod slowly.

He takes a seat at the end of your bed next to your bag and sighs, his mouth opening and closing, trying to think of the words to say when you purse your lips and take a seat next to him.

"What's that?" you ask crossing your legs and resting your chin in the palm of your hand.

He sighs again, "Grace kept this for you," he opened the box, revealing a beaded necklace resting atop a faded leather journal.

You glance up at him curiously as you grab the necklace, the beads cold as ice as you set it on your nightstand. He cautiously hands you the journal and you frown, "What's this?" you ask as you run your fingers over the faded cover.

"It was your Mother's journal," he says as he stands to leave, but you stand, nearly tripping over your own feet.

"Why did she have this? My mom's never even set foot here before," you say.

And it was true. Your Mother had been a professor at Harvard, her course mainly consisting of the ecology of Pandora. She had always lamented that she never got the chance to visit.

"I think you'll find more questions than answers if you read it," he says with a sad smile as he leaves you standing there holding the journal.

Don't know what kind of answer that is, you think to yourself as you quickly flip until you find your Mother's handwriting, and begin to read.

"I'm not sure what to write in this notebook, but I feel like I have to. I guess this isn't a diary, but more of a field log.

"I was so happy when I got the assignment here, I jumped out of my chair in joy. I never thought I'd get the chance to visit Pandora.

"It's so, beautiful here, and so different from our dying planet. I hope I can share this when I return home.

"They say the fauna here is dangerous, but I haven't seen anything that scares me yet. When I last went out with Grace I saw a herd of angtsìk as we took samples. They were rather intimidating, but we lived."

It was dated March, 14th, 2129.

You turn the page to find a sketch of a herd of angtsìk heading out towards the plains, "Aris" written under your mother's signature.

You flip to the next page and find a journal entry dated June, 25th, 2129.

", was my friend, my mentor, and my sister. I know I'm just a scientist and not a soldier, so there was nothing I could do to save her, but I can't stop that memory from playing over and over in my head. Grace tells me not to blame myself, but who else is there to blame but me?"

The next part was scratched through with pen to the point of it being unreadable, leading to the last sentence on the page,

"I can't bring myself to leave. I just keep thinking that the next time I leave he'll be next."

After noticing the name at the beginning had been scratched out, you carefully tuck the journal into your bag, and lie back on your bed, taking out your hair clip and placing it on the nightstand beside you. You turn over and turn off the lamp, your eyes fluttering closed.

~➳➳➳~

The bag of clothes you had packed was now sitting discarded with Norm in front of the lab, and you groaned in frustration as you tried to find a good hiding spot for your communicator in it, burying it under your favorite sweatshirt, praying to Eywa or whoever was out there that it didn't ring when you were gone.

Seeing that your two weeks were up, you cautiously walked up to Jake and his Ikran, his gaze stern as he regarded you, and then helped you up climbing on behind you.

You gave a quick wave to Norm and Max as you took off and hoped that it would be over soon.

You clenched your eyes as the wind blows across your face, making it hard to breathe when you could feel the Ikran land. Your eyes fluttered open and you gasped as you looked around, the caves were dense and cold, with water dripping down the stone making them up. It was strangely beautiful, you thought as Jake helped you down and led you to a small fire. You sat down and warmed your hands by the fire you realized your hair clip was slipping out of your braid, so you quickly fixed it.

Your eyes lingered on the fire as Jake spoke, "First thing in the morning we'll begin," he says his hands tying a bag shut as the smell of smoke and the crackling of the fire lulled you into a deep sleep.

~➳➳➳~

Your fingers twist a strand of your hair nervously as Neytiri looks you over. Her eyes narrow as your eyes fall to the floor, hands twisting your hair again.

She turns to Jake, "I told you not to bring her here, and yet here she is."

Her tail flicks back and forth impatiently as he places a hand on her shoulder, "I know I said she wouldn't be back, but she needs help," he said his voice pleading with her.

She grumbles as she turns, "Bring her to Mother then," she says as she turns to leave.

You feel a blush creeping up your face as Mo'at looks you over, grabbing your Tsaheylu and then your face, staring into your eyes before releasing you.

She cups her face in her hand, "It is strange, the girl," she pauses to grab a piece of bone from her necklace and prick you with it, bringing it to her mouth.

"She has Tsaheylu, and her eyes have changed, but there have been no other changes to her?"

She asks as she turns to Jake, her eyes narrowing at him.

He sighs before answering, "No, there haven't been any other confirmed changes to her," he gestures to you.

You frown as Mo'at closes her eyes in thought before she looks to you, "You will learn from Jake Sully, and you best learn well."

You gulp nervously as she leaves the three of you alone. Neytiri huffs as she leaves, crossing her arms. Jake looks over to you and gestures for you to follow him.

After getting changed you watch as Jake walks over to his Ikran, motioning for you to join him. You carefully step closer to it and try not to fall off the edge of the cave opening.

"Where are we going?" you ask as he helps you up.

"To your first lesson, on Tsaheylu."

~➳➳➳~

Standing at the edge of a clearing, you watch as Jake leads over a direhorse and smile. This shouldn't be too bad, you think to yourself as you gently pat its neck, remembering the time Neteyam took you to see the direhorses, and how you fell flat on your face the first time you rode one.

~➳➳➳~

Neteyam's hand gripped yours gently as he lead you through the forest, the bioluminescent plants lighting your way. The air was warm and sticky, making your hair stick to your face as you wiped away sweat, still not used to the climate on Pandora.

You hummed as you felt his grip on your hand tightens, "So, where are we going again? You ask as you adjust your hair clip with your free hand, trying to keep it from falling out.

"You'll see soon, we're almost there," he says and you can hear the excitement in his voice as he helps you up onto a log that acts as a sort of bridge. You look down nervously and realize how far the drop-off is when a piece of wood you had carelessly kicked fell off the side.

It feels like an eternity when you finally make it to the direhorses. Well, one direhorse to be specific. You watch as Neteyam guides it toward you, and you gasp. It has to be at least ten feet tall. You wonder if there happens to be a step stool around when you feel Neteyam lift you up and onto the direhorse.

"This is Aknìä," he says as you wrap your legs around the direhorse, "she is a pa’li."

Aknìä snorts as Neteyam grabs your hand and helps you up, but it's a gentle snort, not one of annoyance, and you feel yourself relaxing. Neteyam gently places your hands on Aknìä's neck, and your hair clip slips, falling to the ground. You gasp, but watch as Neteyam catches it, gently working it back into your hair.

Your hands shake as Neteya, directs you on how to make Tsaheylu with Aknìä. You make Tsaheyl si and feel a shiver run down your spine, as his hand steadies you.

"You can tell her what to do through your thoughts, but for now tell her where to go."

You nod nervously before you whisper, "Go?"

And with that Aknìä takes off, and you feel yourself fall to the ground.

Neteyam rushes over when he sees you fall face-first into the mud, as concern rises in him. He gently grabs your hand a helps you up as you cough, smearing the mud across your face.

"Are you alright?" he asks as you approach Aknìä again.

You turn to him and smile, "Yeah. So, let's try this one more time."

Neteyam laughs, a small smile curling on his lips as he helps you up again.

~➳➳➳~

You listen as Jake explains Tsaheylu and how to connect with the direhorse, whose name is Pale, and you carefully mount. You steady yourself, your legs gripping tightly so you don't fall as you grab your Tsaheylu and make Tsaheyl si with Pale.

"Now, tell it where to go," he says pointing forward, as you take a deep breath, and say "Forward."

Pale takes off, galloping through the clearing, the wind whips past your face as you smile, and urge her to go faster.

That is until you hear Jake yelling for you to stop, and you realize you've already made it to the other side of the clearing, and are on the precipice of stepping into the other side of the forest. You quickly turn around and gallop back to him, watching him shake his head in annoyance, and then rub his eyes.

"Okay, so it looks like you already know how the Tsaheylu works, let's move on, "he says as you dismount patting Pale's neck gently as he grabs a bow and a quiver full of colorfully feathered arrows and hands them to you.

You quickly string the bow as Jake walks over and corrects your posture. "Now, shoot the target," he says as he points at a rock a few yards away.

You quickly turn to face the target and pull the string back and let it go, feeling the bow shudder in your hands as you miss the target entirely.

Jake shakes his head as you run over to retrieve the arrow.

"You need to pull the string back more, kid," he says as he hands you another arrow, "Again."

You nod taking in his words as you feel your face turn red in frustration, and you notch the arrow, this time pulling it back farther. You feel it shudder in your hands, and your face stings from where you held the string too close to your face. Then you watch in disappointment as it misses the target yet again.

Jake hands you another arrow wordlessly and you take it, your hands shaking as you notch it.

~➳➳➳~

You wince as your hands reach out to grab your dinner, the newly forming blisters hurting every time you move them. You sit across from the small bonfire and glance over Jake's shoulder, where everyone else is sat together, talking and laughing. You sigh and begin to eat.

Your eyes look up to the opening in the cave, the stars shining down at you. A chill runs down your spine when you recall your Mother's journal, the one you'd left behind. You really should have read the rest before you left, for a year no less. Well, depending on how much and how long it took you to learn the way of the Omatikaya people.

"We'll start early tomorrow, more practice with the bow," Jake says interrupting your thoughts.

Your eyes glance over at him and you bite your lip before asking, "You knew Grace, right?"

You see his mouth visibly clamp shut when the question leaves your mouth. You rest your chin in your hand before continuing, "So, did she ever say anything about, my mom?"

He sighs heavily before he stands, "She didn't, not to me at least," and turns to leave, reminding you to be ready in the morning.

A sigh leaves your lips before you put out the small fire, wondering if your aunt had never mentioned your mother, why she'd kept her journal after all those years.

~➳➳➳~

Jake walks past the other's still eating and stands by the entrance of his home. He sits down in front of the fire, Neytiri sitting down next to him resting her head on his shoulder, "What have you taught her?"

Jake's eyes meet hers as he kisses her softly, "She already knows how Tsaheylu works, I can only imagine who taught her that," his voice is dripping with sarcasm as Kiri walks past them.

Neytiri sighs and Jake picks up on the slight annoyance in her tone, "You still don't trust her, do you?"

"No, but the children have taken a liking to her, so I will giver her a chance," she whispers before her eyes flutter close.

~➳➳➳~

Neteyam carefully creeps outside of the hut, making sure to not wake anyone as he carefully walks around the other tents. After reaching the farthest end of the cave, he lifted the flap of the tent entrance.

His lips curled into a smile as he whisper shouted your name, making you jump and nearly fall face first into the fire.

Hearing laughter you look up at him a groan, "You're not supposed to be here!" you hiss through your teeth as you feel his lips on yours.

Pushing him away you sit back by the fire again. Wrapping your furs around you, you feel him move closer to lean his head against your shoulder. You smile and place a kiss on his temple.

"Tell me about it," he whispers, his yellow eyes, shining in the firelight gazing up at you.

"About what?"

"Earth, what's it like?"

Your smile drops and not even the flames of the fire can warm you. Earth. What was it like? You had been gone for half a year already, and in one and a half, you'd be gone. And there it was, the guilt twisting in your stomach again. Feeling Neteyam's head fall into your lap, you wondered what he would think of you when you left Pandora. The betrayal, was one that was understandable to yourself, but not to him or any of his family. You had been pondering how to broach the subject, but with the General constantly holding your Mother's cure over your head, you had no choice but to wait it out and bite your tongue.

At least, that's what you wanted to say, but you knew that you couldn't go through with it. And you had a feeling you knew when that uncertainty started to consume you.

Watching as Neteyam patiently waited for an answer, his tail wrapping around your waist loosely, you smiled, "Well, when I left it was pretty bad. They don't call it a 'dying planet' for no reason."

"What was your favorite thing about it?"

Humming to yourself you push a loose piece of hair away from his face, "I want to say, the beach, or the snow. I'm tied between the two," you laughed under your breath at his expression when the word 'snow' left your lips.

"Snow?" He questioned as his tail tightened its grip on your waist, making you blush, heat racing up from your neck.

Nodding you whispered, "Herwì in Na'vi, small flakes of snow float around the sky, and sometimes they stick to the ground," you pause, smiling at the last memory you had of the snow.

He laughed before giving you a quick kiss, then returned to lay his head on your lap.

"It's kind of hard to describe okay!"

You chew on your lip, wondering how to explain it better, "It makes things colder, like really cold. The last time I saw it snow, me and my mom were stuck inside for three days," you trail off, your smile falling at the thought of your Mother.

Biting your lip your eyes meet Neteyam's, the gold flecks in his yellow eyes entrancing, you speak, "Can I tell you something?"

His expression falters at your nervousness, you sounded worried and maybe even scared?

Grabbing your hand in his he brings it to his lips, "You can tell me anything, ma Sky girl."

You turn away, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood, the anxiousness and guilt rising again. Taking a deep breath, you decided you'd wait just a bit longer before saying anything. Things were too... complicated now, you would wait until after your time with Omatikaya was up and meet with the General.

"Is something wrong?"

Neteyam cups your face in his hands before his lips meet yours, and you sigh, before laying down next to him, the sound of the fire lulling you to sleep.

~➳➳➳~

The first thing that greets you when you wake is a field of white, and icy cold wind. Rubbing your eyes you turn to see a small and familiar cabin sitting in the clearing behind you. Smoke pours out of the chimney as you hear a low growl, turning you see nothing. Pulling your scarf closer to your chest you run into the house, the warmth blasting you as the door swings open. Pulling off your snow boots, and putting away your scarve and jacket you look into the living room to see your Mother sitting on the couch, her hand clenching her auburn hair so tightly you fear she may tear it out when you notice the phone to her ear.

Careful not to knock any of the many stacks of books on the floor over, you try to listen to her conversation, her voice tense and icy as she talks.

"You don't understand Grace, this is my life's work we're talking about here. I can't just let them take-"

You feel a pit in your stomach at the name Grace, she had to be talking to your aunt. Leaning closer, your nails dig into the wooden corner.

"I know, I know. But I can't let them do that to her, she's my daughter Grace," her voice is tired and quiet now as you strain to hear what your aunt is saying.

"The contract clearly states you cannot run off with lab materials, I know what she means to you but they'll never stop coming after you, you know that. I can't keep them away any longer," she pauses and your Mother's frantic voice interrupts.

"Can't you just keep it up a bit longer? I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere right now, we'll be gone soon I promise."

Grace sighs, her voice filled with annoyance, "I can't, I'm leaving."

"Leaving? Where?"

"Selene, I'm going back to Pandora. I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I-"

Cutting her off your Mother stands and starts to pace around the living room, "No, no, you can't leave-"

She freezes when your eyes meet, dropping the phone as she runs to your side, her arms wrapping around you tightly.

You can feel her lips moving against your temple as something sharp pricks your side, and everything goes dark.

~➳➳➳~

herwì [ˈhɛɾ.wɪ] n. snow

angtsìk = Hammerhead Titanothere

tsaheyl si [t͡sa.ˈhɛjl ˈs·i] vin. bond with, establish a neural connection

requests are open!

if i haven't got to yours yet, don't worry! i have two i'm currently working on, they just need some editing and will be done by tomorrow night!

taglist~

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[buckysgrace]

Chapter Two

Kim spent the next three days avoiding Billy as best as she could. She did her best to stay at work, then spend the afternoons and even overnights with Addi working on their summer plans. When she was stuck at the house, she stayed in her room away from everyone as best as she could.

In another aspect, he seemed to be doing the same. They both went their separate ways in the house, not acknowledging each other or the awkward event that happened the other day.

It was like the image was branded in her mind. No matter how hard she scrubbed her face and tried to erase the thoughts that crept up, it was always there.

Everything worked out fine until it came to dinners.

Neil insisted that they always ate together as a family. Kim’s mother always insisted on cooking, which usually consisted of Kim going behind her back to make sure everything was properly seasoned and that she didn’t leave anything in the oven or on the burners too long. 

She was helping her mom set the food out on the table doing her best to avoid Billy while he set out the dishes and silverware. Neil always made sure to let everyone know that it was Billy’s job, and Billy’s job only. 

She had pushed the bowl of salad a little too close to an empty glass and knocked it over on the table. She reached for it, without thinking, and her nimble fingers brushed into Billy’s wide, thick hand at the same time. 

The blue in his shirt brought out his eyes as his eyes looked up and locked onto hers intensely. They both looked away quickly and Kim felt like she was a second from fanning herself to keep from fainting, watching as he picked up the empty cup and sat it back in its spot. He peered over the table for a moment before walking into the kitchen, flexing his fingers that she had touched.

The mental image from the other day charged into her mind and she felt her face grow hot as she tried to erase the mental picture in her mind. 

He was her brother . She reminded herself harshly.

She hadn’t told anyone what she had seen. Not that there were a lot of people to tell. Addi was her best friend, but she wasn’t sure how she’d mention the situation without bringing up the fact that her mind kept degrading her and reminding her what she had seen. There was Nancy, she wouldn't call her a best friend, but she did go to her for advice. Her mother, Karen, just happened to be one of the mothers who giggled and blushed over Billy, and she didn't want that information getting back around to her. 

However, she felt like she needed to get it off of her chest. Her mother had supplied her with diary after diary to keep her thoughts in. However, after Neil had snooped and degraded her for writing “horrible” things about him she couldn’t bear to write in them anymore. No, she kept the one journal hidden away under her pillow for her perfect summer and that was it.

“Are you okay?” Max appeared next to her, and Kim nodded and gave her a tight smile at the shorter girl. Kim felt lucky that she had Max as a sister, she was more than that at times. She was like a best friend who she could confide in whenever she pleased. Max never judged her.

Of course, this situation was completely different, and she didn’t want to scar the young girl in the same way she felt she had been.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” She looked up again to see Billy standing in the doorway of the kitchen, eyes glancing over her, “Just peachy,” She muttered, hoping dinner would go by without an incident.

/////

Dinner passed in an awkward silence for Kim. Every time Billy moved next to her, she could feel her fingernails digging deeper into the cushion of her chair. She sighed, laying in her short nightgown staring up at the ceiling with her copy of The Hobbit, resting next to her head. 

Thump. Thump. Thump.

She sat up fast at the sudden sound against her window, walking over and she opened it to see Addi grinning up at her.

“I found out Tina is having a party tonight and we’re so going!” She exclaimed, putting her hands through the window and pulling herself up, squealing as she tumbled inside.

Kim quickly grabbed the lamp to keep it from knocking over, “SHH!” She exclaimed, setting the lamp down gently. She tiptoed to her door, cracked it open and listened for a moment. To make sure that the coast really was clear and peered down the hallway, sighing in relief to see that her mother’s lights in their room were off.

She gently shut the door and turned back to Addi, who was still grinning. She looked cute, wearing her flared jeans and a blue floral crop top that crossed in the back. She had styled her hair to resemble Farrah Fawcett’s. 

“We’re going to a party. Like, tonight?” Kim whispered, feeling panicked. She felt as if she didn’t have enough time to plan and be ready for a party.

“Yes! Come on it’ll be so much fun, and I bet Steve will be there,” She grinned teasingly twisting one of Kim’s red curls around her finger. “Please, for me?”

“You promise you won’t leave me?” Kim asked, still a bit unsure. She wanted to go, she really did want to go and experience all the things that kids her age talked about. She was just so damn nervous about making a fool of herself.

“Of course, I won’t leave you,” She grinned and sat down on the edge of her bed, moving her green blanket to the side, “Come on, you should wear that little pink dress you got.” Kim could feel her cheeks flush as she thought about it. That dress was the one she hid the furthest in her closet. It hugged her curves just right, showed off her long legs perfectly and made her boobs look even bigger than normal.

“I don’t want to look like a prostitute,” Kim whined digging through her clothes as she tried to picture what each outfit looked like on her again. Sure, she wanted to show off, but she didn’t feel like it was right at the moment. 

Instead, Kim decided on a light purple shirt that showed off her midriff and a pair of jean shorts that felt just a smidge too short. It was way plainer than the dress, but she felt more comfortable in her skin. Kim sat down in front of her vanity to do her makeup, while Addi worked on curling her hair.

“Isn’t this exciting? Our first party?” Addi squealed, meeting Kim’s eyes in the mirror. She laughed and nodded along. No matter how nervous she felt, she was excited. She felt so rebellious at the moment. Getting dressed to go to a party, sneaking out the window.

“Do you think it’ll happen tonight?” Kim asked, almost shyly as she thought about it. Sure, she’d love for Steve to be her first but realistically she craved the idea of being touched so badly that she didn’t really care who she would actually do it with. She just didn’t want them to be too rough.

“I hope so,” Addi sighed dreamily, “I’m prepared for it to not happen though. I mean we still have all summer, there’s plenty of time if it doesn’t happen tonight,” She insisted as she pulled the top part of Kim’s hair up and into a scrunchie. Kim looked over her makeup, making sure that everything looked right. 

“Why don’t you just talk to Eddie? He’s kind of an outcast too, isn’t he?” Kim questioned as she leant forward to put her lipstick on. Addi put the curling iron back, giving her hair a few spritz of hairspray to give it some much needed volume. 

“Except he's totally not approachable. Do you know what I mean?” Addi sat back on the bed and crossed her legs, seemingly in deep thought. Kim nodded, she definitely understood what she meant.

“Let’s at least try for one kiss with some guy?” Kim turned to face her again and held her pinky out letting them intertwine with each other. Addi smirked softly and nodded.

“We’ve got this. Only problem is we’re going to have to do some serious walking.” She grinned after, a bit sheepish. Kim groaned. Tina’s house really wasn’t too far from hers, but Kim could already feel the sweat growing as she thought about the hot and muggy night that would be waiting for them. Not to mention all of the nasty bugs. She hadn’t realized how bad the bugs could be before they moved here.

“Where the hell is Argyle?” Kim asked as she slipped on her shoes. She then moved to her bed and hid her pillows under the blankets in a way that her mom could think it was her in case she came to check on her, which she doubted she’d do. She shut the light off as Addi moved towards the window.

“He had to work late, some bullshit like that,” She slid down the window with ease. Kim waited until she was out of the way before sitting on the edge of the windowsill.

“Should I tell Max before I go?” She pondered out loud. Max would sometimes come into her room in the middle of the night, and she didn’t want to upset her. Addi placed her hands on her hips.

“What fun is sneaking out if someone knows where you’re at? Come on, you’ll be fine. I promise.” Addi urged. Kim still snuck one last look back into her room, before making peace with her decision and jumping out the window.

The dry grass crunched under their feet as they headed towards Tina’s, only a few blocks over. However, Kim was right. The night seemed to be extra muggy, with the bugs swarming around them as they kept having to swat them away.

“Do you think we’ll have any classes together this next year?” Kim finally spoke up, after a few minutes in comfortable silence. She couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder every few minutes, half expecting Neil to come after her with his car and demand she come home this instant. 

“God, I hope so, at least math. That way we can suck at it together,” She laughed, cutting through one of the neighbors' yards and lifting up their broken white fence. Kim ducked lower and walked through, careful to keep her voice down as they walked through the neighbor's lawn. 

“I hate math,” She groaned, pulling the fence up for Addi this time. They walked through a long stretch of grass, Tina’s house coming closer into view with each step that they took. Addi turned to her suddenly. 

“Why have you been ignoring Billy?” She questioned popping a piece of gum in her mouth and offering the other piece to Kim as they trekked along. Kim was too focused on grabbing the gum that she almost tripped onto a rock. She straightened herself up, feeling self-conscious again anytime Billy is brought up.

“We just got into it the other day,” Kim lied chewing on the minty gum, hoping she wouldn’t give too much away, “You know how he can get,” She shrugged, stepping back onto the street and off the grass. She could hear the music from outside as they walked closer.

“I’ve never really known you to give him the silent treatment though, did he do something bad?” She asked softly this time, turning and looking at her with big dark eyes. Kim gulped, knowing what she was referring to. Addi had the unlucky privilege of being over at a time when Neil lost his shit on Billy. Kim was sure Addi figured that Neil took his anger out on all of them, but that was far from the truth. Kim was sure she thought Billy did similar things, but he really didn’t. 

“I’m fine, really, everything is fine. I promise.” Kim smiled, hooking her arm through Addi’s. Only, it wasn’t fine. But how would you tell someone that you walked in on your stepbrother jacking off and now that was all you could think of?

Addi looked her over and then nodded. “Let’s go then,” She grinned at Kim and pulled her inside. Kim had only ever seen parties in movies and in TV shows, other than her grandparents' yearly Christmas parties that were only filled with the elderly from their church.

No, this was everything she imagined it to be and more. The music was so loud it felt like a slap to the face when they stepped inside. The smell of alcohol and weed was strong as bodies bumped into her without notice.

“Come on,” Addi held her hand and dragged her through the crowd until they met at a small gathering of people waiting in line to grab a cup of punch from the bowl. Kim looked around, trying to place any faces that she may recognize. She noticed Heather, talking to some of her friends gathered near the stairs. Kim thought that maybe she had literature with one of them last semester. Towards the fireplace she noticed Carol and Tommy making out and she felt herself watching them for a moment, wondering which one would devour the other first. When she finally looked away, she locked eyes with a pair of stunned blue eyes.

Oh shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Here,” Addi handed her a cup making Kim break eye contact with him. Kim’s hand shook as she took it, looking down at the red liquid not really sure what to do. “What?” Addi questioned picking up on her expression.

“Billy, he’s here,” Kim spoke shakily, wanting to be anywhere but here at the moment. She was unsure why she wasn’t allowed to be in one place where he wasn’t occupied. Addi gave her a look and shrugged her shoulders.

“So what? Don’t let him ruin your fun. I mean come on; the guy is always at parties. It’s kind of expected,” She gave her a pointed look, and Kim knew that she was right. Billy wasn’t her dad, so it shouldn’t matter that they were both at a party, having fun.

Kim nodded and smiled, holding her cup up to her lips at the same time as Addi before taking a giant gulp. She felt her eyes squint shut and her nose scrunch as she took in the burning feeling that traveled down her throat and burned all the way to her insides.

“Oh my God,” She covered her wrist over her mouth as she coughed, determined not to spit the liquid out everywhere. She had never once tried anything to drink before and now she couldn’t see how so many people drank so much. It tasted awful, why on Earth would anyone put themselves through this?

Addi must’ve thought similarly because she still bore a disgusted look. However, she huffed and drained the rest of her cup with a determined look. Kim looked down at the rest of her liquid, unsure if she was able to do the same.

“Come on, we promised. Just keep drinking and the taste is bound to get better,” She spoke more like she was trying to convince herself than anything, “Here, let me get us some beers to try,” She turned away for a moment to retrieve the two cans from the cooler.

Kim could still feel the burning sensation in her stomach but knew that her friend was right. Her life wasn’t a movie or some book, if she wanted her summer to be something special, she was going to have to take a leap of faith and do it for herself. Bringing the cup back up to her lips, she clenched her eyes tight as much as they would and downed the liquid. She tried her best to ignore the burning sensation traveling through her body as she wiped the corners of her mouth, proud of herself for accomplishing something.

“I didn’t know you knew Tina,” She turned to see Billy leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen, watching her intently. She blamed the growing flush on the alcohol in her system and not on the effect he had over her.

“We had um a project that we did together, once. Freshman year,” She nodded trying to keep her cool. She glanced over trying to find her friend. Where the hell had she gone?

“I think she went to get more drinks,” Billy spoke up. He was wearing the damned buttoned up red shirt, the sleeves rolled up far enough to show off his biceps. She watched as he pulled out his lighter and brought a cigarette up to his lips.

This was wrong.

Kim didn’t know what the hell was going on with her, or why she was acting this way towards him now. Sure, she walked in on something incredibly… personal and now she couldn’t understand why the image had to be branded in her mind.

“Ready to try it?” Addi appeared again, handing her a beer. They both looked over, hearing Billy snort. He finished off his cigarette, looking over at the two of them with a bored expression.

“You know if you wanted to try some cheap beer, I could’ve got it for you,” He suggested moving inside the kitchen. He rested his back up against the kitchen counter, watching as Kim struggled to lift the tab on the beer. 

“Yeah, drinking with you sounds like a lot of fun,” Addi replied sarcastically as she popped hers open. Kim began to reach hers out so she could do the same, when a large hand brushed over hers.

“Here,” Billy opened the tab without looking down, instead, keeping his eyes placed on her expression. Kim knew this would be the end of her. It was like he was plotting something, and she wasn’t prepared for what the outcome would be. 

“Thanks,” Kim mumbled, her eyes flicking to his blue ones for a moment. He bore a small smirk as he peered at her with an amused grin before taking his hand off of hers.

“Does Susan know you came?” He asked, tilting his head. His blonde curls bouncing with his movement. Kim looked away from him when she heard Addi scoff. She watched as her friend rolled her eyes and Kim could tell that she was planning to say something snarky in return.

“Does she need to know?” She gulped, lifted the can to her lips and took the biggest drink she could manage.

Beer tasted like shit.

Billy laughed, acting like he could see through her own little facade. He ran his tongue over his white teeth and shook his head.

“No, I guess this can be our own little secret,”

[ginnyw-potter]

A recap of 2023

so this is the year I wrote. I wrote more than I have ever done and so I thought it would be nice to look back on 2023 and look a little further back as well.

I used to write fanfic, I think I started about 14 years ago. I am not a native speaker and my English definitely needed some work then. I also have so many qualms about my old writing (I apparently hadn't found out about paragraphs yet), but we all have to start writing somewhere.

I stopped writing little by little, feeling burned out and completely stopped in 2018 (for various reasons). I don't think I wrote anything at all in 2019 or very little. In 2020 I dipped my toes in again with a few oneshots.

End of 2021 is when I started writing again and finally came back to writing Harry Potter fanfic. I started out with a longfic of 70K words! It was a struggle and I think it's like a muscle that wasn't being used. A Guiding Light is the fic that got me back in and I posted it throughout 2022.

And then I started two new fics because I was inspired again. I started posting those at the end of 2022/start of 2023. Knight of Mine and Peverell's Progeny have both surpassed the word count of Guiding Light with ease. It was never my purpose to get to a certain word count, and it is not what I focus on, but going from nearly 0 words in 2020 and slowly increasing, it's amazing to see myself putting out so many words.

And as well this year I focused less on what things I think people want to read and got a little more self-indulgent and it is so rewarding. It really makes me enjoy writing it even more.

My mental health has been shit before and it really took a nose dive in 2018, but this year I finally started feeling like myself again. My anxiety has gotten so much better and in turn I have been sick way less (although I did knock it out of the park at the start of the year with about 5 weeks of various illnesses) so I feel like I can enjoy life more in general. I am not sure if my writing helped me get there or if I am writing more because I am feeling better. All in all, I think writing has been helping me get through various things and it is one of the only things I enjoy doing consistently.

I haven't kept exact track of how much I wrote in the last year but based on my AO3 statistics as they are today (26th of Dec), I think it's safe to say that 2023 has surpassed all the others before.

You can see the majority of what I wrote, 414K of a total 541K, has been posted in the last year. It's crazy to think about. A lot of people found my writing as well this year and it's been so amazing getting that feedback ...as well as crazy paternity guesses with emojis, begging me for horse smut (that is still a no-you know who you are) and bribing me to update early... they really do make my day and some of you are too funny for your own good.

Looking ahead a little, I want to see what else I can achieve in the upcoming year. I am not setting any specific goals for myself other than continuing to work on my ongoing fics and not starting too many new ones (*pushes Pirate AU back under the bed*) Buut I am curious how much writing I actually get up to and so I made myself a little tracker.

Bullet journaling is the only other hobby aside from writing that I seem to be able to do consistently. I just kind of fell out of it in the summer of 2022 and finally picked it back up again for 2024. I think when I wasn't writing, it was a good different outlet for me and I still enjoy it. It simply slipped out of my habits, especially when I moved out on my own last year and I was too focused on keeping up with chores and other stuff. Now I am a little more organised, so I do hope to keep it up. It will also force me to do something else than writing once in a while, which is probably healthy for me.

This tracker looks a little chaotic, I know, but i wanted to get everything on one page. Maybe next year I can tell you exactly how much I wrote.

And word counts are nice but I think improving is also important and I do feel like I have managed to learn a lot of things this year and I will continue to do so in the coming year. I take great inspiration from other people's writing. I always get inspired when I read an especially good fic (which often ends up with me starting a new WIP, send help) and I discover new ways to put in descriptions or how to phrase something a certain way. And talking to other fic writers on here, or discord, is also where I learn a lot. A ton of you are so talented and it is such a joy to be able to discuss things, pick your brains and get feedback. Sometimes I just learn things by reading along to someone else's discussion. Sometimes you find answers to questions you didn't know to ask!

I also want to thank my beta readers, who have read so many words this year. They are so FAST and then apologise for being slow. I cherish them so much.

If you read up to this point, thank you! If you've read a fic of mine this year, thank you as well. If you left me kudos or comments, recced me... you get a little kiss on the forehead.

If you have achievements of your own this year that you are proud of, do share them! (Reblog or send me an ask, I want to hear about it!) Let's celebrate all the work you put in!

[femsolid]

Can you tell us about your way into veganism?

I always felt a lot of empathy and love towards animals, most children do, it just never left me. As a kid I saw a documentary about the meat industry, specifically about the exploitation of pigs. I watched how the pigs were alive one second, wondering what the hell was going on, and then dead the very next. It was heartbreaking to me. The nonchalance with which all those lives were ended. They would be standing in line on a moving floor and a machine would pierce their heads one by one, or electrocute their brains, I'm not entirely sure, maybe both. The tools for the killing didn't shock me, it was the fact that they were treated like objects on a processing line. Their eyes would go empty, they would go limp and fall and men would start dismembering them. But some pigs were still alive and moving. It was very surreal, very cold, very heartless. These days they'd call it "humane slaughter". The piglets were manhandled like mere objects too, men would cut off their tails or sterilise them without anaesthetic. The screaming was horrible. I told my dad I didn't want to eat pork anymore and he laughed at me. Then I forgot about all this until, as an adult, I watched a very graphic documentary about all forms of animal exploitation (Earthlings). I cried the whole time and promised myself I'd respect my beliefs and feelings on the matter once I leave my father's home. So when I moved out I became a vegetarian wich I found very easy. You can eat most things in western countries as a vegetarian and you can buy anything that involves the exploitation of animals other than the actual flesh. It was hypoctritical of me. I kept informing myself on what was really done to the animals. I saw the cows skinned alive for our car sits, the sheeps tortured by sadistic men in the wool industry, little lambs dismembered alive, pigs gassed and dying in agony. I also learned about the absolute cruelty of the men who work for this industry, their misogyny as they torture and rape hogs, and the men who drive this industry, who make billions out of death and the destruction of empathy and our environment, men's obsession with the necessity of killing and the virility of eating meat and how much damage it causes our planet and our health. And also the sad fact that the explotiation of animals relies entirely on the exploitation of motherhood and the objectification of the female reproductive system. But that's not even what started my veganism. I became vegan because I have IBS and I was at my wits ends with the pain and the fainting, especially during my periods. I made a journal of what I was eating and realised that I felt ten times better and the horrible intestinal cramps stopped when I didn't eat things that contained milk and eggs. Especially milk. So I actually became vegan because of selfish health reasons. The change felt amazing. Truly a new life for me. I got to experience normal periods for the first time. So by following my political and moral principles I was also making myself healthier, doing my (tiny) part for the environment and resolving my cognitive dissonance. That's a lot of positive. I'm not just opposed to the exploitation of women and girls. I'm opposed to exploitation in itself. The idea that I am superior to others and therefore have the right to exploit someone else never made sense to me. Or the idea that my cruelty is okay because it's part of the natural order of things. Or that it's okay because it makes me feel good. We criticize these very notions when we talk about other issues like misogyny, classism or racism. It's the same logic. I'm trying to be consistent and helpful to myself and others.

[rythmicjea]

Hobbyism is the best way to get through grief. ~Cole Sprouse

NEW FIC BACKSTORY

Okay... so... This is an odd one (and a long one). This is kind of representative of my current "chaos era". It's a bit of a story and I put most of it in the A/N. But this was not a story I was ever intending to write. In fact, I am not part of the fandom (scandalous I know), and better yet, I had no idea that the show even existed until this past November... But apparently it was big! My excuse is that I was not of the demographic for it age wise. I think if it's age appropriate, anyone can watch anything. Rock on, man.

The backstory of this goes, I found out that my baby boy (cat) Jayne, had advanced kidney disease. For a brief and shining moment, I thought that he would beat the odds. Unfortunately, he was gone within two weeks. I held him as he passed. I have a little altar to him on my desk because he will never be forgotten. But, in my grief, I knew I needed to find an outlet. While I can't journal write (I absolutely hate it lol) I can tell stories. And I wanted to write something very dark and nihilistic that basically combined Peaky Blinders with Riverdale (Chaos Era).

So while I was falling down the Jeronica rabbit hole, I was gathering playlists and mashup videos to aid in my inspiration. But, the story refuse to appear. Instead, YouTube kept suggesting clips from a show I had never heard of. And the clips were OLD. Like from over 10 years ago. Though I said I was uninterested the recs kept coming. So I did ONE google search. I read ONE synopsis. I saw a cast list and I saw a timeline of a relationship. I thought that was all I needed. My brain said NOPE!

The timeline of this relationship ended every entry with "and they hugged". I was very confused about why this couple was only hugging. Then when I saw that the last episode was graduation I got a little more incensed. I had two puzzle pieces that didn't connect without a third. So, I asked around. I have friends that were of the age demographic at the time this was on. And every one of them said that 1.) they loved the show and 2.) It was a very Disney show. Now, there were some sporadic kisses here and there but I remember being that age in high school and while I wasn't some "light BDSM scene on the second time I ever had sex" (Looking at you Bughead in Riverdale...) I definitely did more than just hug my high school boyfriend.

Even though I wasn't satisfied with the answer I thought that was the end of it. My brain had other ideas. My brain told me that if I didn't write this story then I would never write again. Well. That's death to a creative type like me. While I never wrote every day or even put out stories consistently, I was still crafting stories in my head. I needed to be able to write. I was in a desperate state. So I thought "fine, I'll write 3000 words, delete it, and then write what I want."

I wrote 10,000 words in one sitting.

I wrote 50,000 words in 18 days.

I didn't watch the show until I was like 80% done with the fic.

It currently stands over 100,000 words.

If you've made it this far you're going "WHAT IS THE STORY?!"

Okay, I'll tell you. It turns out I was being recommended the clips because of an actor. This actor is Cole Sprouse. I knew him mostly as Ben Geller from Friends. I didn't know he had an actual career before Riverdale. I just thought he did something as a kid, and then came back after college. I was so wrong... So so so so so wrong...

If you guessed The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and The Suite Life on Deck you would be correct.

This massive story started as a way to explain why Cody and Bailey "only hugged". Turned into a love story. I made Zack not straight and married to a man with identical twin girls. London is a pediatric surgeon (and I still stand by that decision knowing what I know now). And Cody and Bailey are probably the least likable characters in the entire thing but they are relatable. This is a story of trying to find love after you discover the amount of abuse you went through. Why running from things is not ideal. And maybe, even when you live an outlandish life, there's some normalcy to discover. It's kind of dark, but there's a lot of humor. If you're not familiar with the show, I would just think of it as an original work. (I know, I know... certain death for a fanfic writer lol)

If you enjoy it, please drop a kudos and my comments section is open and I welcome kind and constructive criticism and questions. Like, fuck me up with questions. Please.