#I probably cried at least 4 or 5 times watching it

[reel-fear]

just saw the new spiderverse and I am a changed person now... I cannot express how good it was... Somehow it surpassed the original and the original was my favorite movie of all time. This is gonna be fantastic, I Know It Will

[yellowbunnydreams]

Bunny Ears (Part 5) ~William Afton X F! Reader~

~Hello, hello hello! I hope you're all enjoying this little more fluffy story so far. Some of your tags kill me when I see reblogs and I appreciate them so much! Also I am so sorry that this one is exceptionally long!~

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Tag List: @ruh--roh-raggy @h4nluv @sleepy---head @do-double-g @confiscated-peaches-main @dij-ology @viviennemuerte @robin-the-enby @shari-berri @randymeeksisafinalgirl @hallow1090

Cw: CW: Minors DNI, (18+ ONLY), Female Reader, legal age gap (Reader- 20's, William - 30's), divorce/processing divorce, Afton being a sarcastic hot ass, Henry being such a dad, grumpy x sunshine (more to be added). Faz-Fuck TM

True to William Afton's word, you were placed on office duty for at least a week before you could return to normal work. Henry had even drive you to the local pharmacy after work and loaded your bike up onto the back of his car, buying you a soft wrist compress and some painkillers despite your protests and insisting that you would be being driven to and from work by either him or William for the duration of your 'light duties'. There were no ifs or buts allowed from either of them, Henry once caught you trying to walk to work and you had spent an hour in his office listening to him lecture you on why it was such a bad idea. You could have sworn that he nearly cried several times during it.

You had decided to try your luck walking in again today, knowing that the pair would be looking for your Freddy's uniform and your bike, you decided to place a thin jacket over the top to mask it, hair tied up and a hoodie beneath the jacket, hood pulled up as if you weren't sweating in the heat. Twirling your wrist back and forth as you tried to avoid it locking up with the compressive bandage on, you were lost in your own thoughts as you walked. It was sufficiently early in the morning that you were sure that neither of them would spot you even if they happened to be driving out.

Suddenly you heard a voice calling your name, and of course like a fool you stopped and turned your head. Spotting a car that you hadn't heard cruise up besides you and come to stop, blinking as you took in the black colour muscle car that you probably didn't know much about if your life depended on it before your eyes fell onto the owner who had climbed out of the door. Paling as you watched William Afton lean against the door with his arms crossed across his chest.

"M-Mr. Afton, you look...nice..this morning." You complimented, which he truly did, although it wasn't his usual colours that he wore to work. Still wearing his black slacks, he wore a Spring Bonnie shade of yellow shirt, the sleeves rolled up and a purple tie on. Pushing his glasses up his nose, he scowled although you could see some amusement in his eyes.

"That shit works on Henry, not me. So, it's a little early for a walk isn't it?" He almost growled your name at the end, making you feel slightly weak at the knees and your stomach sink as you began to realise how much trouble you were about to be in with the taller, older man. Opening your mouth as if to speak before he raised a large hand, finger up to shush you.

"Get in the fucking car, don't make me chase you cause I will assure you, you will get your cardio for the month in if that's the case." Staring into your soul, scuffing your shoes on the pavement as you reluctantly moved to the passenger side, William turned to watch you, your fingers on the door handle before you looked back at him, offering him a sheepish smile.

"Don't you mean get in the faz-fucking car, sir?" You could see his lips quirk at the corners and the joke clearly hit somewhere to make him amused, but he remained otherwise serious as he began to stride round to your side, brushing against your back as he opened the door for you and gestured for you to get in.

"No, I mean get in the fucking car young lady, I'm already thinking on how to punish you for making me do this shit." The thought of him punishing you made you shiver and blush, realising that you imagined his large calloused hands on you for a brief moment and feeling incredibly embarrassed. Not that you hadn't been thinking about the glimpse of him shirtless that you had gotten a few days before.

He climbed into his side with a practised ease, cracking his neck slightly and sighing as he put the car into gear, pulling off and heading towards Freddy's. You sunk into your seat as you heard him mutter to himself.

"Henry is not going to let me live this one down." Sounding slightly bitter about it, you raised and eyebrow and looked at him quizzically.

"What is Mr. Emily not going to let you live down?"

"He... I told him you were probably going to try some shit like this this morning, and he told me to lighten up, that you wouldn't after the lecture he gave you about being safe." He groaned, one hand on his thigh and the other on the steering wheel as his eyes darted about the roads, purposely avoiding yours. "He's going to call it my fucking 'dad sense' or some shit and call me old."

"Well sir, you are like...five years older than me?" You guessed, being a bit generous to try and win him over a bit more, causing the man to snort and look at you, pointing at his greying temples with his free hand.

"Does this look like five years to you? If so, wow your future is looking bleak. More like ten and even that is depressing enough." William sighed, running a hand through his hair and concentrating on the roads again. Cranking up the radio so that the rest of your drive would be in silence.

Arriving at Freddy's, William got out first and opened your door for you, hovering a few steps behind as he escorted you into the building where it seemed eerily quiet. You were there a lot earlier than usual and most of the staff hadn't arrived yet for morning duties. But walking through the empty halls with William, you didn't feel unsafe or uneasy doing so. Though you felt your stomach twisting into knots as you approached the offices together, knowing that Henry would be disappointed in you before you even saw his face, you tried to remain positive that whatever the two of them could come up with for the day couldn't be that bad.

"Morning Mr. Emily." You chirped, making the man sat at his desk smile as William unlocked his office behind you. Watching him run a hand through his curly hair and leaning back, eyes bright as always despite the early start.

"Morning miss..." Your name trailed off as he looked at you, suddenly squinting before his eyes widened, conflicted between a frown and a smile as he looked between you and William.

"Don't say it Henry." William warned, not needing to turn around to know what was about to be said by his business partner. Although you watched Henry almost bouncing excitedly at his desk.

"You totally used your dad sense! God you're so old William." He teased, making the taller man sigh and tip his head back in frustration.

"Henry, you're older than me." He retorted, opening his office door finally and stepping inside, flicking on the lights and scowling slightly as he rubbed at his face, disturbing his glasses and messing with his hair again before he ran his fingers through it and fixed it again.

"So, you're still a dad!" Making William sigh in annoyance as he looked at you, almost pleading for the happiness of his friend to dispel for just one moment to give him peace. Raising an eyebrow and gesturing to you to step into his office, your name sounding too pretty from him as he spoke again.

"You can spend the day with me sweetheart, I figure being bored to death by the more technical side of this job might be a better punishment than a lecture." Afton shrugged, making you look between the excitedly bouncing Henry and the calmer of the pair, and quietly choosing to be in for a chance of peace rather than seeing Henry tear up again as he lectured you again like you were his daughter.

"See you later Mr. Emily." You smiled, waving to him and stepping into William's office and hearing the door close behind you, William stepping around you with his fingers brushing your back to let you know where he was whilst he moved.

Compared to the explosion of children's drawings, family photos and colour that made up Henry Emily's office, William Afton's was much more organised in its own chaotic fashion. The main wall had a large pin board hung up on it, with neatly organised and spaced mechanical and electric diagrams for various animatronics and projects pinned up on seemingly colour coded pins that only he knew the order of. Two photo frames hung up too, one with William and a young blonde girl in a tiny turtleneck and cardigan, holding a toy Spring-Bonnie, the edge of the photo clearly cut as a mystery hand floated on the girl's shoulder, opposite to William. The other was a slightly younger Afton and Henry, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders and each holding the head of their animatronic suit under their arms, you could vaguely make out a building that said 'Fredbear's Family Diner' in the background.

The rest was fairly standard, except for the pile of animatronic parts and tools that laid scattered amongst the paperwork on his desk, all dark colours, including curiously a couch that was pushed up against one wall. The leather cracked and worn, a pillow set up on one of the arms and a faded blanket folded neatly over the back.

'Does he sleep in his office?' You thought as you looked at it, brow furrowing before you took a seat opposite Afton, trying to see what he was up to even if you didn't understand.

"So, you're a dad Mr. Afton?" You asked, breaking the silence and hearing a 'hmm' coming from the man before he looked up, brow furrowed in concentration and clearly having not heard your question. You gestured to the picture on the wall with the girl, smiling softly as you looked between it and him.

"Oh, yes! That's my little girl, Vanessa." He said, a bit of pride creeping into his voice as you noticed his left thumb moving against his ring finger, a lump forming in your throat as you noticed the glint of a gold wedding band on the finger. Of course he was married, what woman wouldn't want to marry somebody like him? Business owner, good looking, good with kids.

"She looks adorable." You commented, tearing your eyes away from his hand back to the picture, trying to spot which of his features she might have inherited.

"Yeah, probably haven't been the best dad to her but I try." Glancing back down at his paperwork and clearing his throat, he wondered why he opened up to you so easily. But he supposed he knew somewhat where he stood with you, you were easily flustered by him but you had genuine care about him and Henry it seemed. His thumb continued to twirl the ring on his finger absently, eyes unfocused as he wondered if he should mention his soon-to-be-ex wife to you, but decided against it.

William looked up at you again and offered a warm smile, adjusting his glasses on his nose before running a large hand through his hair again. Something he often did when he was somewhat nervous, although he wasn't entirely sure why he felt that way around you. Taking a moment when you looked away from him again to admire the way your eyes looked, their rich vibrant colour, the way your eyelashes fluttered as you breathed slowly and deeply. He swore at himself internally as he swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling dry as he realised what he was thinking about you.

"Oh, before I forget, I collected these for you to look through." He chuckled, snapping him and you out of the reverie each of you had fallen into, opening a desk drawer and pulling out a stack of papers, some crinkled around the edges and messy, making you raise an eyebrow as you gingerly took them, pausing as you saw your name written in childish crayon on the top one.

Your fingers brushed the crayon markings like they were some ancient script that you had to be careful with. Flicking onto the next one, and the one after, your heart melted as you spotted a pattern to them.

'The day --- saved Spring Bonnie'

'--- Helping Spring Bonnie!'

'--- and Spring Bonnie'

The childish spellings and writing made your name incredibly hard to read on most of them, but you felt your eyes welling up as you carefully leafed through each sheet of paper and spent time looking at childish drawings of you and Spring Bonnie holding hands, or trying to help him up. There weren't many in the pile, but enough to make your lip quiver and your eyes feel hot and prickle with tears.

"I've got some too, children keep giving them to Henry or me and asking if we know Spring Bonnie or you and can we 'please give them to them?'. I thought you might like to know that you and Spring Bonnie are officially considered the best of friends by the kids." He smiled warmly as he noticed how you stared at the drawings with such emotion. William felt his fingers twitching as he wanted to reach out and comfort you, but he remained professional as he didn't know how you would feel about that.

"Thank you sir, this is-"

"William, you can call me William when we're alone." He interrupted, smiling lopsidedly as you glanced up at him, your cheeks burning up slightly as he gave you that sweet, warm smile that made the edges of his eyes crinkle slightly and of course, the idea that you could address him so informally made the butterflies reappear in your stomach.

"Then thank you, William, may I keep one?" You asked, taking care to say his name rather than addressing him as your boss. His smile grew a little as he heard you saying his name for the first time, his own chest tightening at the sound and he nodded his head, gesturing to the stack in your hands.

"Please, take as many as you want sweetheart. I'll grab us some coffee whilst we work."

Standing from his desk, he towered over you, his hand hovering near to your still lightly bruised shoulder before he thought better of it, heading for the door and turning the handle, pulling it so that it would open.

But it didn't.

Trying again, the door rattled and shook, but refused to budge. Frowning, William braced himself with his other hand against the frame and yanked, worried about breaking the door but no matter what he tried to do it to it, it wasn't budging. Eyes widening as he realised that you were trapped together, pressing his ear to the door and listening hard, he could faintly hear the sounds of the pizzeria filling with screaming kids and music already.

"Well....Fuck." He sighed.

~~

Both of you had tried the door for twenty minutes before William picked up the phone and pressed it to his ear, dialling quickly and hearing the thing ring a few times before a familiar voice answered him in it's usual cheery tone.

"'Yello?"

"Henry! Thank fuck, me and -"

"William, what have we said about swearing on property?" Henry chuckled as he stood in the end of the employee hallway, listening to the phone call and making sure to keep quiet enough so that William wouldn't suspect where he was, glancing out into the dining room.

"Faz-fuck that, you stupid bonnie-bitch! Me and," he said your name in the angriest tone you had ever heard on him, and even though you knew it wasn't directed at you, it made your stomach turn and body shake with anxiety at what was about to happen. "are trapped in my office, the door's stuck! Come fucking help us, or I swear to god Emily, I will force you into one of the working animatronics."

Henry couldn't help but grin at William's threats, knowing that he was really pissed if he was calling him by his last name, but Henry also knew that nothing was really meant by it. Looking out into the hall, he could see everything was running smoothly and that the staff were handling it all well despite being one down for the day.

"I'll be right there Afton, I'm just sorting something out and I'll be there in a moment." Feigning concern as he hung up on the larger man, straightening his tie and clipping his phone to his belt, turning it off so it wouldn't ring again as he headed back out into the diner, greeting parents and kids with vigour as he went.

William slammed the phone down and groaned, taking his glasses off and rubbing his face with his hands, elbows on his desk as you tried not to panic at the idea of being trapped in such a small space for potnetially the rest of the day. Your leg bouncing and heel tapping the floor as you brought your fingers to your mouth, ready to bite at your nails as you avoided looking at the handsome man opposite you. Seeing him with his hair messed up made you want to run your fingers through it and return it to normal for him, but you knew he was a married man and that you couldn't do such a thing to him.

"Good job we have a bathroom and a mini-fridge in here." He laughed, somewhat bitterly as he knew Henry would find some distraction that meant he wasn't going to be there as soon as they both wanted.

You felt your eyes prickling again, and your hands trembled as you realised that you were stuck. Sniffling lightly and trying to hide your concern and fear from William as you sat in the uncomfortable chair opposite him. The large man noticed however and he looked up, frowning as he heard the sound and feeling his heart melting as he noticed you trying not to cry infront of him. Standing up, he made his way around his desk and crouched infront of you, wincing slightly as his knees popped lightly at the movement but turning your chair so that you could see him and he could see your bowed head properly.

"Hey hey! Sweetheart, bunny, why are you crying? Is being in the same room as me for a while really that awful?" He teased slightly, trying to get you to smile, you choked out a laugh as you wiped at your eyes, trying to get them to stop watering.

"N-No, it's your terrible sense of humour I'm worried about." You giggled, trying to be funny and seeing William chuckle at your attempt. He looked strange without his glasses, but decidedly still very handsome as he grinned up at you before pretending to be hurt, placing his hand over his heart and making a shocked mock expression.

"Well, I promise not to ask for your ID whilst we're together if that makes you feel better?" Making you laugh more and nod, he felt his heart hammering as he realised how vulnerable you looked, how fragile and breakable compared to himself and it made him ache to comfort you even more.

"Can I touch you sweetheart?" He asked, hands hovering as he waited before you nodded slowly, wondering what he was going to do. Carefully, he placed his hands on your ribs under your arms, picking you up as he stood and your arms instinctually wrapping around his neck, legs hanging over his hips as he carried you. It was only a few paces to the couch in the corner, but those moments together set your heart into overtime and you couldn't help but get a smell of his cologne. Something earthy and spicy, and the faint scent of motor oil and sweat like it was engrained into his skin.

Almost whimpering as he had placed you down on the couch, grabbing the blanket from off of the back of the couch and wrapping it around your shoulders gently. Wandering off and dragging over an old TV on a wheeled stand, placing a tape into the VCR player and wandering off again, bringing back two sodas as the screen flickered to life and quietly began playing a cartoon of Freddy and friends, happy bouncy music clearly made for kids in the background.

Sitting besides you, Afton offered you a soda and helped crack it open for you, making you mumble thanks as you sipped at it, the high sugar soothing your nerves although it didn't stop your mind thinking about how his large hands hand felt against you.

"I figured we might as well watch something whilst we wait, things like this used to help me when I had panic attacks." He explained in a low soft voice, making you look up at him curiously, not sure you could see the giant man who was always so refined and poised with most people having panic attacks. But he grabbed the pillow and laid it across his lap, avoiding your eyes as you swore you saw a little blush on his cheeks in the flickering colourful lights. "You can lay down if you want, you can still say no, I'm not acting as your boss at the moment." Giving you a reassuring smile before he turned back to the screen.

Both of you playing the waiting game and thinking of the other without a word more between you.

~~

Henry finally managed to pry the door open, the pizzeria finally closed down and allowing him to escape back to the offices. The noise startling William awake slightly, although the weight on his lap made sure he didn't move too much. Henry grinned widely as he saw the scene before him, your head on Afton's lap and William's fingers tangled into your hair as if he had fallen asleep soothing you. He couldn't remember when he'd started it, or even when you had fallen asleep, but groggily he looked up and spotted Henry looking at the pair of you, grinning like a fool as William tried to quickly and efficiently extract himself from you without disturbing your peaceful sleep.

"So, I think you've certainly become more people oriented recently William." Henry teased as the man grabbed his glasses and rubbed at his face, hair messy and eyes still puffy with sleep.

"Shut the fuck up Henry, one word of this and I'll end you." He hissed, making Henry throw up his hands in mock surrender. Still grinning madly as William turned to look at you again, hoping that Henry didn't see the soft smile that crossed his face before he padded over to wake you up and let Henry take you home.

He didn't trust himself not to do something stupid if he was left alone with you. Something stupid like develop feelings.

[bl00dst41ned]

15 questions, 15 friends

(thank you for tagging me @luvvtrent <3)

1 - are you named after anyone? nope but my third name is my grandma's last name

2 - when was the last time you cried? of sadness, probably Friday night, other than that yesterday

3 - do you have kids? nope, but i want some

4 - what sports do you play/have played? i used to play basketball when i was younger, than i took dancing classes (hip-hop and dancehall), i did a year of thaï boxing and now i do musculation at my school

5 - do you use sarcasm? sarcasm is me

6 - what is the first thing you notice about people? their outfit and their face

7 - what is your eye color? dark brown

8 - scary movies or happy endings? happy ending, i don't watch scary movies

9 - any talents? i can sing i guess

10 - where were you born? normandy in france

11 - what are your hobbies? eating, listening to music, i kinda like watching movies

12 - do you have any pets? nope, my parents don't want to 💀💀

13 - how tall are you? you mean how short ? 5'4 probably (I've been saying I'm 1,63m but i think I'm shorter

14 - favorite subject at school? english and spanish

15 - dream job? music journalist (or at least in the entertainment field)

tagging: @leviscolwill @louvrepool @trentione @letmeapologise @findingnemosworld @ts1m1kas @barcagirly @ihe4rtisa @deff0notaqsa @mentalbaddiex @judectrl @trentscc @hummusxx @conoreeces @brocedes

[nyaagolor]

Now that you’ve played through all the episodes, how would you rank them?

Oooo this is tough, in part bc I like all of them a LOT. The designations between a few of them, especially in the middle category, are gonna be kinda arbitrary, but I'll do my best :)

Also this got stupid long so I put it under a readmore! Spoilers abound, as one might expect

8. Dawn of the Golden Witch (Episode 6)

I have some... mixed feelings on this one. I understand what Ryukishi was going for in using chick-Beato and Battler's interactions to parallel Battler with Kinzo and show Kinzo's dynamic with Kuwadorian Beatrice via analogy, but I also think it kinda fumbles a bit. There are points (cookie scene being a big one) where I feel like the characters take a backseat to the themes and the whole narrative feels off. Chapters 5 and 6 are supposed to be a perversion of the original story that Beatrice has lost control over, but there are points during 6 especially where I think it kinda loses itself. The rest of it is great (Erika's VA is a goddamn champion) but the very beginning of this chapter is easily my least favorite part of the series

7. Requiem of the Golden Witch (Episode 7)

I don't really have strong feelings on this episode. It would have been the high point in just about any other VN, but Umineko is so consistently fantastic that Episode 7 didn't really hit me as hard as the others. It did make me wish we got more Kyrie though, even if I know exactly why she wasn't as prominent as many of the others. Kind of insane that my second least-favorite arc is something I would rank like an 8 or 9 out of 10, Umineko is just that goated (get it???)

6. Turn of the Golden Witch (Episode 2)

While I do love watching the worst woman ever conceived have a 48 hour progressive mental breakdown, Alliance hits every point I like about the Rosa / Maria dynamic but does it better. It's still an arc I absolutely adore, so it feels weird to rank it so low, but I think about it a lot less than the other arcs so down here it goes. Shoutout to this arc for making me laugh to the point I could no longer speak not once, but twice. Kanon chuuni jacket and leashed Battler you will always be famous

5. Twilight of the Golden Witch (Episode 8)

I know that ranking episode 8 in the bottom half sounds like sacrilege but this arc had so much Kinzo and while I understand his narrative importance I Do Not Like Him. The fact that Kinzo is in the Golden Land but Kuwadorian Beatrice isn't makes me want to throw bricks at things. Other than that though, absolutely stellar. I bawled at the ending. The next day I thought about it more, misinterpreted it, and cried more, then I thought about it more deeply and talked with friends, really started to understand the core messages, and sobbed even harder. As these things tend to go. This episode ruined my life. Would recommend.

4. Legend of the Golden Witch (Episode 1)

note: 4 and 3 are interchangeable I like them both a lot for different reasons

The first time I read this episode, I thought it was great. The further I got into Umineko, the better it got. Now, with a full understanding of the plot and knowing how this chapter serves as self-reflection through the other (Sayo via Natsuhi) it serves as probably the most raw glimpse into Sayo's mindset we get. This episode ruins me and I'm pretty sure when I inevitably reread it I am going to dissolve into a puddle of goo. Also Natsuhi is there and she's my favorite of the matriarchs so I'm a little bit biased :)

3. Banquet of the Golden Witch (Episode 3)

This is one of the funniest pieces of literature I have ever read in my life. EVA-Beatrice, the entire sob story (that I, like Battler, fell for completely), the two towers fight scene... 10/10 no notes. I don't even have the words for how much I adored this one. I wish I could read it again for the first time.

2. Alliance of the Golden Witch (Episode 4)

Ok so fun fact I thought this arc was kinda boring at first, and was a little miffed I had to constantly go through Ange's little side quests when I just wanted to see Beatrice and Battler again. Fortunately, Ryukishi has a beautiful way of changing my mind very very quickly and the more I think about this Episode the more I love it. It has some of the most powerful emotional moments, a really good rehashing of the themes, and is a lot tighter and more condensed than I gave it credit for. There's a LOT that happens in this chapter, and it's been growing on me a lot-- while it doesn't take the number one spot in terms of my favorites, I do think it's the best written of the 8 episodes. As a bonus it focuses a lot on Maria who is one of the best characters ever and my darling baby angel.

End of the Golden Witch (Episode 5)

This is the platonic ideal of Umineko to me. The layers of metanarrative, the perversion of a formula to reiterate its structure, the use of genre conventions as a dual-use in-universe and metanarrative element, Erika. End of the Golden Witch is when I changed from someone who loved Umineko to someone who was obsessed with Umineko. The ending is one of the most visceral parts of the VN and I will fully admit I cried. There is so much happening in this episode I could talk about it all day. Also Natsuhi is there. Hey girlie <3

[moonblossom7]

(Aged up) Percabeth as your parents headcanons

Genre:fluff/comfort

-reader is adopted

-gender neutral reader

A/N: this is rlly kinda stupid but it's cute I think.

🍼 Toddler years(~1-4)

- Percy is great with kids, obviously, but he's rlly worried that you'd get into something while his back was turned so he's CONSTANTLY watching you. Can't get away with anything.

-stay at home dad Percy is so real, actually

- Annabeth likes reading you bedtime stories, even though she struggles with it

- they're both of the opinion that Disney has gone down hill, but they take you to the cinema every time a new movie comes out.

- Annabeth gets stressed out a lot about whether or not they make you feel like you belong, since she knows how much it sucks to feel alone within your own family, and she thinks it's gotta be even worse since you're adopted (that worry never really went away)

-  Percy made "monster spray" for when you're scared of the dark.

🖍️ Little kid (5-8)

- Annabeth takes you on museum trips a lot. It's important for kids to experience things, and of course she has to pick something the both of you like

- Percy cried like an actual baby when you lost your first tooth. He didn't expect something like that to effect him, but how could it not? You're growing up and it's happening a lot faster than he thought it would.

- loyal customers at your imaginary restaurant. (Yk those play kitchens with the plastic food? Those.)

- very emotional about the little art projects you bring home from school. They can rarely bring themselves to throw any away,so they have a little tote to keep them in when the fridge gets too crowded.

-speaking of school, you are very much THAT kid. The one with the character pen cases and the sparkly folders and notebooks with that Lisa Frank dolphin on them. (I WANTED ONE SO BAD!!) Percy and Annabeth decided you could only have the absolute best stuff.

- around this time they explain the whole gods, monsters, demigods thing. You had already met Grover and Tyson and some of your parents' demigod friends,so you knew some of it, but up till now they'd never fully explained.

🎮big kid (9-12)

-at this point, Percy is officially banned from helping you with homework. He's one of those "math is math, that's still the right answer!" dads, so when you got to the age where you had to learn and use different methods he noped out. Annabeth takes over from that point.

- if you get into sports, obviously they're your biggest fans. They show up to every game, they give your friends a ride home from practice, they probably wear those cringey T-shirts with shit like "soccer mom/dad" printed across the front in mismatched fonts. Percy's probably even an assistant coach. (Bonus for my softball girlies: Annabeth is totally the type to give you cool braids with the team colors weaved in)

- Again Percy cried over you loosing teeth. But this is your last baby tooth! You aren't little at all anymore! (It's even worse for him if you don't believe in the tooth fairy anymore by then)

- alas,the time has come. The last Christmas you believe in Santa. You told them they didn't have to put the elf up that year, that's how they found out. It caught Annabeth totally off guard. She'd tried to be very sneaky and very clever about maintaining the Christmas magic.

- you're having a Minecraft phase rn(everyone does at this point, don't fight it) and Annabeth is THRILLED. she doesn't play many video games, but she does like Minecraft and Animal Crossing,so she was so excited to have that in common with you. She gets especially excited about all the houses you build even though they're really basic at first.

📱Teen (13-19)

-went very all out on your 13th,16th, and 18th birthday. So much food, and confetti and probably invited all of their friends on top of everyone you invited. (For my summer birthday friends: paid for you and your friends to go to the water park for at least one of those,on top of everything else they had planned)

- very chill about your first partner, actually. I know that a lot of parents aren't, but I honestly don't see Percy and Annabeth being the track your phone and shotgun prom pictures type. As long as your partner was respectful and treated you well, they had no reason to be upset.

-coming back to the sports thing, Percy would be upset if you got to be embarrassed by them going to your games and stuff now. It happens for some kids, obviously (and him and Annabeth have gotten a lot more excited and a little obnoxious about everything the better you got), but he'd be upset that he's not cool anymore.

- proms and homecoming dances are such a big deal. They never really went to any school dances, unless you count when they were trying to find Nico and Bianca, so they're super interested in yours. They want you to have a good time, but they definitely might be projecting a little bit.

- On that note, for my long haired friends, Annabeth totally does your hair for you for those events. I personally think most Athena kids are good at doing hair, since weaving is part of Athena's whole thing and like doing complex hairstyles definitely requires that, and  Annabeth would really enjoy that bonding experience.

- Percy originally wanted to be the one to teach you to drive, but you scared him so many times that he couldn't be alone in a car with you for a long time. Everyone makes mistakes while they're learning, and he's usually a brave guy, but it's a million times scarier now that it's you. Maybe he's just worried about you getting hurt.  Maybe he doesn't want to have to pay for any repairs. Could be both.

- your graduation was so emotionally devastating for them. Gods, they're just so damn proud of you. Highschool isn't as easy as some people make it seem,and even if it was, it's still such a big deal. And it was also so bittersweet because you really aren't a kid  anymore, and they're so excited for you to experience the adult world, but they also miss their little baby.

-also,if you go to a school that lets you decorate your cap,I just know they'd want to help. Obviously they'd follow whatever your idea was but I could see y'all being an arts and crafts family, y'know?

- I don't wanna say that Annabeth has earned a reputation that could get you into any colleges without much effort because I don't think she'd let you get away with not trying, but like...if she wasn't like that, you could.

-also, they'd be really chill if you didn't want to go to college,as long as you were doing something safe and that makes you happy. They know that extra school isn't for everyone and they also know there's a lot of jobs that don't need any degree that can make more money than jobs that do (not that money's all that matters, but it's a good motivator.)

A/N(number 2):Lord I love thinking about Percy and Annabeth getting to have a nice normal-ish life. Let me know if u guys have any specific scenarios you wanna see with parental Percabeth,I get such a hit of nostalgia and happiness from this dynamic

[consistencynevermether]

Breaking down walls- Astarion x reader

Astarion x "uses humor to cope" reader, second person POV, 1.4k words, gn reader

tw- Mentions of Cazador, nothing else really?

a/n- ive been so obsessed with this little dude i love him sm. this is my first time writing fanfic online so any advice is welcome :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You had never been good at genuine emotions. It was always so much easier to joke about such things, as a way to make people feel less shitty about their situation than to actually talk about the reality of things.

It’s what you had done with Karlach, making up all sorts of outrageous stories about the fun you and your best friend could get into once she was free from the furnace that burned inside of her. Even though deep down you had no idea how to free her from the flames. 

You had done it with Gale, making up jokes about his stereotypical “wizards tower” whenever he was feeling down about Mystra. Even though deep down you had no idea how he was supposed to cope with what she demanded of him. 

It was easy to joke. To make people feel good and laugh for a short amount of time. That’s what you told yourself. 

But the truth was, the alternative was hard. Feelings, reality, genuine bonds, they all meant you had to put down your walls. And the other person had to do the same. And deep down, you feared letting down your walls for someone, only for them to keep theirs up. 

It was probably why you liked Astarion so much. While you put up a front of jokes, he puts up a front of flirty advances. Both of you knew you were putting on an act, yet neither minded. Neither dared try to climb the other's wall. 

And so the two of you formed a bit of a routine, he would flirt, and you would tease. Both of you dancing around how you really felt like leaves fluttering in the wind. A subtle glance there and a stray brush of the fingers here made you think, or maybe hope, that he really felt something for you. Just a little. Or maybe that was wishful thinking on your part. 

But he’d never seen the sadness in your eyes when he would say those sweet words to you, both knowing he didn’t mean them. And if you had any say in it, he never would. It was better that way. Easier. Safer. And you’d be damned if you ruined the current relationship you had with him. Because at least you got to be close. A few genuine words among a sea of deception was far better than him shutting you out completely. Better savor what little you can have than lose it all right? 

That had been your mantra, right up until that night. 

You had had a bout of insomnia the night before, and so you had offered to take the first watch tonight. You'd hoped staying up extra late meant that after your watch you would instantly crash and hopefully fix your sleep schedule a little. 

It had started a little before midnight, you had heard Astarion mumbling something under his breath, tossing and turning. You had heard somewhere that elves only sleep for about 4 hours, so you figured it was best to leave him be. He’d be up soon anyway. 

And that plan worked fabulously. For about 5 minutes until the mumbles became more like cries for help. You knew what, or rather who he was dreaming about, and it hurt to see him in so much pain. 

Lifting yourself up from the rock you were seated on, you made your way to shake him awake, only for Astarion to shoot upright as you were about to grab his shoulder. 

Your eyes met, only inches apart, your face filled with mild shock and his with horror. 

Quickly recovering, you took a step back, giving him proper space so as to not add to his obvious terror. Unfortunately for you, trying to get away meant stumbling over your own crouched form and landing on your rear with a yelp. 

For a second you both sat there, you not daring to even breathe too loudly. while he looked at you in slight confusion, though that was mostly covered by the blinding terror still on his face.

You sat there in silence for a few more moments, before your brain finally kicked in and you realized you needed to say something, now. Preferably without sounding like a complete lunatic, freak, or wackjob.

“I-“ 

you open your mouth to speak, but Astarion beats you to it, his velvety voice cutting through your uncertain, cracking tone. 

“You know, you’re not the first person I’ve left speechless, although normally it’s for quite a different reason.” 

Astarion's tone was playful, but the slight shake in his voice was obvious. Once again, you couldn’t see beyond the walls he had built.

“Anyways love, sorry for disturbing your watch. Feel free to go b-“

“I was thinking of what to say.”

Your sudden interruption earned an eyebrow raise from the pale elf. 

“That hard for you darling? Maybe because you’re stunned by how beautiful I look when asleep?” 

He was giving you a way out. A way to laugh this all off and pretend like it never even happened the next morning. If it were any other time you might have taken it. If you didn’t see the fear in his eyes. If you didn’t see the way his hands were still shaking. If deep down, you didn’t want to break down your walls for him. 

Before you could think better of it, you opened your mouth. 

“I could say that Cazador can’t hurt you anymore. That you're safe here. But you're clearly hurting, so that isn’t true.” 

Now it was Astarion’s turn to look shocked. He hadn’t mentioned the dream was about Cazador but he didn’t have to. You knew all the same. He looked like he wanted to say something, to object maybe, but if you didn’t say what you wanted to say now you may never do it again. So you spoke again before he could.

“I could say that I’m going to rip that bastard limb from limb for you, but-“

You shrug and gesture vaguely to the camp around you. The supplies you all had managed to scrounge together, and your weary companions sleeping silently nearby 

“We don’t exactly have a plan now, do we? Hells we can’t even figure out how to be rid of this damn tadpole. So saying that’s definitely out, nobody wants to hear empty promises” 

A dry bark of laughter escaped Astarion,s lips, probably out of shock from your brutal honesty, but you weren’t done yet.

You opened your mouth one more time, voice shaky but eyes locked onto his all the same.

“I could-

I could tell you that I don’t know everything about your past. About what all he did to you. But I do know that whatever your future holds, I will be there. I will stand beside you and I will not leave. No matter what you choose I will support you. I will stay. And you will not go back Astarion. You will never go back under him. Not while I breathe. Not when you can still fight. You won’t do this alone, I swear that to you.”

And just like that you had broken down your walls. There were no jokes, no double meanings, no way out of it. Because despite the fear, you wanted to be seen. And you wanted to see him too. Not the act that he put up, but the real genuine version of him, scars and all. 

Astarion looked at you in silence, it was his turn to be rendered speechless. Despite all your bravado before, this was terrifying. Honestly, jumping into a pit of hungry manticores seemed more appealing than this current conversation. You looked down at the ground, unable to hold his gaze any longer. A million thoughts ran through your mind, but no matter what you wouldn’t take it back. You couldn’t go back to stealing glances at him and smiling at his honeyed words, secretly wishing he’d meant them. Not again, you just ca-

A cool hand against yours stopped your train of thought right in its tracks. 

Long, slender, Pale fingers wrapped around yours. And your mind went silent.

You whipped your head up to Astarion, but he wasn’t looking your way. His eyes were focused on the horizon, not even stealing a glimpse in your direction. But he gently weaved your fingers together more. His grasp was firm, yet still slightly shaking. 

A crack in his wall. A start. A glimpse at the real Astarion you so desperately wished to see. 

You sat together in silence. Your hands never left each other's grasp, not until you were eventually overtaken by sleep.

[hearts4golbach]

Get the Angles Right!

chapter 9.

pairing:

Johnnie Guilbert x Fem!Reader.

a/n:

sorry I didn't get anything out yesterday, I had a birthday party to go to.

proofread

warnings:

Bryan Stars mention...

word count:

2.0k

the loud ringing of your phone startled you awake. you were having one of those cold sweat naps. you quickly checked the time, the clock read 4:30. Johnnies contact showed on the screen. you quickly answered the phone. "Hello?" you answered, your voice raspy. you rubbed the sleepiness from your eyes.

you didn't get much sleep the night before. Thoughts of Johnnie plagued your mind after the shoot, so you stayed up all night editing the photos. not the smartest idea on your part, but at least they were done and looked very good.

"Hey, y/n." Your name rolled off his tongue. He always thought it tasted so sweet. "i was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner before the party? we could just Uber there after dinner." he explained his thoughts further.

you cleared your throat, dragging yourself out of the pool of sweat you were laying in. "Uh, yeah. of course, let me get ready. where do you want me to meet you? and we're going to the restaurant in what we're wearing to the party, right?"

"That's what i was going to do, yeah." You heard shuffling in the background. "and I was hoping you could pick the place. i wanna try more actually good places before i leave."

your small smile dropped at that reminder. that fact was beginning to eat you alive. you sighed, "yeah! there's this really good Thai place a couple blocks away from my place. there's also an Italian restaurant across the street from there that has the best vodka pasta i've ever had."

"then let's go to that Italian place." you could hear the excitement in his voice. "how soon can you be there?"

"what? excited to see me?" you giggled. you pulled yourself off the bed and grabbed the dress that you had made out of your closet. it was a layered wine red silk dress. some of the fabric was frayed, it had a slit where at the leg and made your tits look great.

"maybe." on the other side of the phone, his face was beet red.

"i can probably get there around 5:15. does that work?" you sat in front of the vanity and put the phone on speaker.

he hummed, "yeah, that works."

"what? on the phone with your girlfriend?" a familiar voice came form the background. Jake giggled to himself.

"dude, shut the fuck up." Johnnie sighed. you rolled your eyes and laughed. "i'll see you there?"

"mhm. see you in a bit, Johnnie. bye."

"bye." he replied before scolding jake. he hung up the phone before you could hear what else he was saying.

you rushed your makeup but still tried to make it look decent. you know it'd be fully gone by the end of the party anyway. you slipped the dress on and adjusted what was needed. just like that, you were ready. you tried to ignore the ache in your heart.

you had called an uber after Johnnie hung up, so it arrived shortly after you were ready. you stared out the window, watching as raindrops raced down. your feelings for Johnnie made the thought of him leaving dreadful. you knew you'd never see him again. you weren't even sure if you two would truly stay in contact. why would he want to? you figured he saw you as so,e hookup rather than someone he could actually love.

your uber driver grabbed your attention when he said you had arrived. you thanked him and climbed out of the car, Johnnie stood in front of the restaurant smoking a cigarette. his face lit up when he saw you. he was wearing the zebra print and leather jacket, which shocked you so much your jaw dropped.

"you're actually wearing it?!" you approached him.

his eyes grazed over your body. he had never seen you in something like that before. "yeah, this jacket is so fucking sick. i'm gonna be wearing it all the time now."

you nearly cried from happiness. someone actually enjoyed your art. "i'm actually so glad you love it just as much as i do."

"i might like it more than you do." he took another drag before passing the cig to you.

"impossible," you laughed, taking the last hit before handing it back to him. he out the cigarette out and walked inside. he held the door for you and you followed in behind him.

he spoke to the waiter and got a table for the two of you. the kind lady led you to your table. you sat across from Johnnie. "can i get you two started with something to drink?"

"i'll take a dr pepper." Johnnie said before looking towards you. the waiter was beautiful, but he never gave her a second glance.

"i'll just take a coke, please." you opened the small menu on the table. she wrote your two orders down and walked away. "i think i want to try their chicken alfredo, but i don't know. that vodka pasta was actually mind blowing."

"you get the alfredo, i'll get the vodka pasta and we'll split. do you wanna do that?" he asked, his eyes down on the menu. he looked up at you, his icy blue eyes gazing into yours. he seemed to be trying to read your facial expression. "i don't know, whatever you wanna do."

"yeah, we can do that. that's a really good idea, actually." the eye contact made your stomach flip, you looked down at your lap.

the waiter came back with your drinks and a small basket of warm bread sticks with a pepper sauce and a garlic sauce. "i'll be back over soon to take your orders." she looked at Johnnie, who was looking at you. she looked back at you and flashed an embarrassed smile.

"thank you," you smiled back before she walked away. "these breadsticks are really good too, especially when you mix the pepper and the garlic dip." you explained, ripping a piece of the bread off and dipping it before popping it into your mouth.

he followed your lead,trying the combination. "i don't know how i feel about that." he laughed.

"fair," you giggled, "it is a weird combo. i've been doing it since i was little, so." you trailed off.

he took another piece and dipped it into the garlic sauce. "you look really pretty tonight, y/n." he complimented, a small blush growing on his face.

there was so much you wanted to say to him, but you didn't know where to start. your mind blanked as you stared at him with a small smile on your face. "thank you, i- i don't know what to say." you laughed, looking down at the table.

a small smile grew on his face. he loved seeing you flustered, he thought you looked adorable. "that's fine," he took your hand from across the table. the bold move shocked you, but you were far from complaining. when you accepted the gesture, his smile grew. "you excited for the party? you get to meet Tara, carrington, and Jake. like, actually meet them."

"yeah, i'm excited. are you sure they'll like me?" you asked cautiously.

his thumb rubbed the back of your hand, "they already like you from what i've told them."

"you tell them about me?" you asked. he talks about you more than he'd like to admit. "i guess that takes a lot of the anxiety away."

a soft smile formed on his face. "good."

Johnnie told you more about his life back in LA. did he have to rub it in your face even more? he finally told you what his job was. he told you he was a youtuber. needless to say, you were shocked. he also explained Tara, Carrington, and Jake were also youtubers. he didn't state why they were in New York, but you had a general idea now. he told you he lives with Carrington and Jake and they record together frequently. he told you more about his family, his brother and sister, and more about his dad. he spoke very highly of all of them. he held your hand the whole time. he had a sparkle in his eye whenever he spoke about his career. but, he also told you about his burnout with making content at some points in time. you were invested the whole time, and that only made him fall harder for you.

you were engaged in the conversation and were coming up with a response before food arrived. the waitress stared at your hands. Johnnie didn't let go until your food was put in front of you and his was put in front of him. the two of you thanked the waitress, who was visibly annoyed but kept up the sweetheart act. before she left, Johnnie asked her to bring two extra plates.

"your life is so interesting, i could listen to you talk about it all day. i love your voice, Johnnie." you complemented him confidently, this time. you were starting to learn that Johnnie did like you the way you wanted him to. your compliment made him blush.

the waiter came back and placed two extra plated on the table. you thanked her before she walked off without saying a word. Johnnie split up the food and handed you your plate. whenever he tried the vodka pasta, he looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. "what the fuck, y/n?"

your heart dropped, "what? what's wrong?"

"how is this so fucking good and why do you know all the good places?" he took another bite, as if he was double checking his taste buds.

"what can i say?" you smiled before beginning to dig into your own food.

he tried to hide the smile on his face as he kept talking to you about his life. he told you about his complications with Bryan Stars and My Digital Escape. That person and group were things you had heard about, but never fully looked into. all of the drama he told you shocked you. Johnnie felt comfortable with telling you anything. he made sure to inform you about his ex girlfriend and everything that happened with her. he phrased it in a way that didn't make you worry, thankfully.

the rest of the dinner you listened to him talk. you enjoyed hearing all about him, and it was a relief you didn't need to talk very much. you weren't sure what dangerous words would spill out of your mouth. the dinner was so intimate, you didn't want it to end. at that point, you'd rather spend the rest of the night alone with Johnnie instead of going to a party. but, you were still excited for the party. you were even more excited to meet his friends.

the waitress came back with the check. you began to take out your wallet but Johnnie pushed your hand down. "it's on me." he said before placing his card inside of the check.

"you don't have to pay for everything, Johnnie. you know i have big girl money, too." you giggled.

"i want to." he put simply.

a couple minutes later she took the check and went to enter it. you and Johnnie made small talk about bands while you waited. she came back soon after. "thank you guys for coming in." her monotone voice rang.

"thank you," Johnnie stayed kind. "ready to go? i'll call the uber."

"yeah," a smile formed on your face. Johnnie couldn't help but smile back, a love stricken look shined in his eyes. "thank you for taking me out. it means a lot."

"it was my pleasure, y/n. i love going out with you, you make everything so fucking fun." he laughed, taking your hand once more. "wanna go wait outside?"

"yeah, let's get out of here." you intertwined your fingers with his and walked out of the restaurant. you two stood out front, hands interlocked as you waited for the uber.

[temptingfatetakingnames]

The Last Steve Harrington Part 12

AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

The sky was red and Eddie was terrified.

He was doing his best on defense – his connection to the bats through Vecna allowed him to influence them – but there were just too many. If he had more time to practice he probably could have kept them back but as it was he was barely keeping up with the ones making it through their lines. He could fully influence only one at a time, so he had to wait until one got close to his friends before he could order it to fuck off. Which meant that everyone was suffering from various bites and tail marks but at least no one had been dragged away and strangled. It also meant he had to constantly whip his head around to keep his eyes on everyone. Nancy, Hopper, Joyce, and Johnathan were doing a good job shooting them down but he knew their ammunition could only last so long.

In the middle of it all, a child and a monster locked eyes, a battle raging between them that no one else could see. The strain of it was clear on their faces. Vecna – inhuman and snarling. Eleven – blood dripping from her nose and tiring. She was losing. Her hands shook as she held them out in front her, and a harsh gasp escaped her clenched teeth as she fell to one knee. Vecna approached her slowly, a grin stretching across his evil face. He thought it was over, he thought he had won.

Eddie turned, as if in slow motion, to see Steve suddenly break through the swarm and approach Vecna from behind. Quiet as a ninja. He swung that god damned nail bat at him like it was Excalibur, nothing but pure determination on his face. He must have known it wasn’t going to kill him, probably wouldn’t even hurt him but that wasn’t his goal. Vecna turned to strike at him, and it gave Eleven the opening she needed to get back on her feet.

Steve went flying and Eleven screamed with more rage than Eddie had ever heard from another person. Her eyes went black and the ground caved in around her feet. In that moment of distraction, with Vecna still turned away from her, she put everything she had left into an attack…and Vecna stumbled as Steve hit the ground with a sickening crunch.

Eleven threw her arms out wide and then brought her hands together in a resounding clap that echoed out around her. Everyone fell to their knees as the world went still and silent. Her eyes were still black when she opened them and walked to where Vecna lay on the ground. Tilting his head up to her, he said something that Eddie couldn’t hear. Eleven calmly pointed her finger at his forehead and Eddie watched in awe as he disintegrated before his eyes. Like a wave expanding around her, bats and Demogorgons fell to the ground before they disintegrated too.

Eddie clutched at his chest, a new fear gripping him that with Vecna gone his own tether to life would be cut. But the wave continued around him and he still breathed. Sunlight broke through the clouds, beaming down in patches as the red glow started to dissipate.

“Steve!” Dustin screamed and ran to where he was laying on the ground. He skidded to a stop, and Eddie could see the way his fingers shook as he gently turned Steve over. His chest was rising and falling, but the sound coming out of his throat was labored and wet. Eddie didn’t know much, but he knew that was a bad sound. Dustin pulled Steve’s head into his lap before his fingers moved over his chest, unsure.

“How do I look, Henderson?” Steve asked through the blood filling his mouth.

“You’re gunna be fine,” Dustin lied. Just like he had lied to Eddie. “But you have to get up, okay?”

“Kay,” Steve replied softly.

Dustin pushed his arm under his shoulders and tried to lift him. “Come on!”

Steve tried to help him but his strength gave out and he cried out in pain. Dustin laid him back down, hands fluttering uselessly over his ruined chest.

“Stop, please stop,” Steve said through gasping breaths.

Dustin looked down, tears in his eyes. Steve smiled up at him brightly.

“She got him, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, Steve. She got him.”

“Good… It’s alright, Dustin,” Steve choked out. “It’s alright. I love you...”

“I love you, too.”

Steve closed his eyes, tears slipping out between his lashes and his breathing grew even more labored… and then…

…it stopped.

“Steve?”

“Steve?”

“Steve!” Dustin screamed.

The sky was blue and the sun was warm and Steve Harrington was dead.

Eddie woke with the sound of Dustin’s scream still echoing in his ears. He hadn’t dreamed of that night in a long time. He sighed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before he got out of bed. Wayne was already asleep for the day, so he was quiet as he moved through the trailer.

He blinked wearily at the coffee pot, surprised to see a fresh batch steaming on the counter. Wayne must have made it for him before he went to sleep. Good man. He poured himself a cup and took a sip as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light.

He hated mornings.

It was going to be a long day. It was boy’s night tonight which meant his home was going to be invaded by his little sheep.

And Steve.

Probably…

They were definitely going to try and get him to come. He was picking them all up at the Hopper-Byers’ after dinner. He figured there was a good chance of Steve agreeing. He had seemed better lately, more willing to try social encounters anyway.

Eddie thought about the look on his face at the junkyard when he had stopped laughing and started crying. Lost. Haunted. Grief so thick Eddie could feel it every time he was around him. He couldn’t imagine what he had gone through. Couldn’t imagine trying to live with the weight of it all. He was a stronger person than Eddie, that was for sure.

Steve Harrington.

Everything felt different with him back.

…but that wasn’t quite right, was it? Because he wasn’t back. The Steve that Eddie had known was still dead. Gone. Eddie had watched him die. This Steve was someone else, a stranger with a familiar face. He had fucked up with Steve in the hospital, he realized now. But he had been protecting Dustin, protecting them all – like his Steve would have wanted. A familiar face couldn’t be trusted just because it was familiar. Eddie absentmindedly fiddled with his necklace. He was glad he had apologized, but he didn’t regret his guardedness.

He wanted to ask Steve more about their history – or Steve’s and Eds’ history. But every goddamn time he was with Steve someone asked a stupid fucking question that made the man tense and freeze up or lash out with justified anger so Eddie just kept stewing in his curiosity. 

Steve was –

He didn’t know what Steve was.

Eddie sighed, set his mug down and went to change into his overalls. Those engines weren’t going to fix themselves.

---

Eddie was exhausted when he got home from work. The summer days were hot and his body was covered in a sheen of sweat. He stripped out of his clothes and turned the water on in the shower, leaving it on the cold side. Hopping in, he breathed a sigh of relief as the water hit his overheated skin. He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, enjoying the silence and feel of the water.

He didn’t hate the work, sometimes he actually enjoyed himself when something interesting came in. Most days sucked though. Endless oil changes and tire rotations and mindless work that didn’t challenge him. Better than working at the factory with Wayne, which had been his other option after graduating.

Sometimes, he still dreamed of leaving. Going to New York or Chicago. A big city with big ideas where someone like him didn’t have to hide as much.

Though, Hawkins wasn’t as bad as it used to be…

Now that he was out of high school his life felt like his own. He also had a much larger family than he ever could have expected to have. He and Wayne had open dinner invitations to so many houses they never had to cook again if they didn’t want to. Not that they took them up on it too often.

He finished washing, turned the water off and shook his hair out like a dog before he exited the shower. He wrapped a towel around his waist and went into his bedroom to get dressed. After donning his usual black attire, he grabbed his book off the shelf and threw himself down on his bed. He had a little time to himself before he had to go pick up the kids. Opening the book to where he had left off, Eddie read:

“If wishes were fishes we’d all cast nets,” he murmured. It was his mother’s expression and he always used it when he felt the blackness of tomorrow on him. Then he thought what an odd expression that was to be taking to a planet that had never known seas or fishes…

When the room started to get dark from the setting sun, Eddie put his book away and grabbed his keys. Wayne was in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee when he walked out.

“Mornin,” Wayne said.

“Evenin,’ Eddie said back.  

Wayne grunted at their overused joke.

“I’ll be outta here in a bit so you can do your ‘boy’s night,’ thing.”

“Breakfast with Frank?”

Wayne grunted again. He didn’t like mornings any more than Eddie did. Didn’t matter that his morning’s started at 7:00pm instead of 7:00am.

“See ya later, Uncle Wayne.”

Wayne waved him off and Eddie left. He hopped into his van, rolled down the windows and turned up the stereo up until he couldn’t hear himself think.

When he turned the corner onto the Hopper-Byers’ street, he saw all the boys waiting on the lawn. Steve in the middle of them all.

He was laughing.

Eddie pulled up to the curb and slowly came to a stop. The boys rushed the van, piling into the back and leaving the front seat for Steve. It wasn’t the first time they had done it, and Eddie was surprised at how soft the little brats were with him, how considerate.

“Hey Eddie,” Steve said as he jumped in. He looked good. His skin wasn’t so pale and he was starting to put on weight. Looking more every day like the Steve Eddie had known and not the gaunt skeletal man they had pulled out of an apocalyptic nightmare.

“Steve.” Eddie nodded to him. Steve smiled but winced a little and blinked a few times quickly. Crap. He reached for the radio dial and turned it down to a more normal level. The kids were screaming at each other in the back and Eddie side-eyed Steve to see how he was doing with the noise. He wasn’t squinting anymore so it must have been a bit better.

“How was work?” he asked.

Eddie told him about his day as they made their way to the trailer park. When he pulled up, the kids rushed out of the backseat before he had even put the van in park. They ran to the door, pushing and shoving and Eddie laughed as Lucas made it through the door first. Lucas usually won. Surprisingly, Will also got to the chair first a lot when he tried for it. Lucas was stronger but Will was scrappy.

Steve asked about the ritual and Eddie explained Wayne’s chair as they made their way inside.

---

When the first movie was over, they took a little break to get more snacks and use the bathroom before starting the next one. The kids were moving around the trailer but him and Steve were sitting on the couch.

“What was your Eddie like anyway? Was he like me?” Eddie couldn’t help but finally ask. He shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth, embarrassed. He hoped that it wouldn’t make Steve uncomfortable or angry…

Eddie’s eyes widened as a grin spread across Steve’s face instead.

“Eds was great, really friendly and popular – more popular than I was! Captain of the baseball team, too.”

What.

The.

Fuck?

There was no universe where Eddie Munson would be captain of the goddamn baseball team. But Steve just sat there looking at him with that smile on his face and Eddie couldn’t help but think it was the horrifying truth.

“Were you not the captain of the baseball team?” he asked with a confused tilt to his head.

It made sense in some ways why Steve and Eds would be friends though, if he had been so different from Eddie.

“No!” Dustin screamed in indignation on his behalf and Steve burst into laughter.

“Got you!” the asshole said and wiped the tears of mirth from his eyes.

“What the hell, Steve?” Lucas yelled.

Steve just kept laughing maniacally. It was the happiest Eddie had ever seen him. And if it had to come at Eddie’s expense? Well, that was fine with him. Steve had a beautiful laugh, full and warm.

“Good one, Steve,” Eddie said and smiled at him just as wide. It was good to see him acting more like himself… or more like Steve?

Shit.

Multiverses were confusing.  

“I knew Eds a lot longer than I’ve known you but from what I’ve seen so far, you two are pretty similar.” Steve paused and speared Eddie with the intensity of his gaze. “Huge nerds with a rough exterior but damn big hearts.”

Eddie felt a blush rising to his cheeks at the heartfelt words so he pulled his hair in front of his face to hide it.

Steve got up and went to the bathroom. Dustin was staring at his back as he walked away, a smile hovering on his lips.

“Captain of the baseball team, my ass,” Eddie said to Dustin who laughed loudly.

“He seems better, doesn’t he?” Dustin asked and looked at Eddie, a hopeful tone in his voice.

Eddie wasn’t so sure about that. He thought Steve might always be one bad question or one bad day away from a complete breakdown. He knew he would be if their positions were reversed. But the joking and laughter was new and could be a sign that Steve was healing.

He nodded. “Yeah, he seems to be better.”

“I wish there was more we could do.”

“You’re doing fine,” Eddie said to him and then turned to the rest of the boys. “You’re all doing fine. Keep talking to him, inviting him to things. Don’t push if he says no. Maybe try not to yell so much in the van, yeah?”

They stared at him in confusion and he sighed. For smart kids they were pretty dumb sometimes. Eddie tapped his head and said, “he’s been hit in the head as many times as our Steve, so he probably gets the same migraines. I’ve noticed him wincing at loud noises.”

“Shit,” Lucas said, eyes wide. “I totally forgot about that.”

“Me too,” Dustin said, looking crestfallen.

Steve had died more than a year ago now. It made sense that they would start to forget things about him. The first time Steve got in his van, Eddie saw the tightening around his eyes and it immediately reminded him of their Steve – of the pain in his eyes that he tried to hide from everyone. He had eventually told them all about the migraines he got and the kids had got better at not screaming in enclosed places. But over time, they had stopped because there hadn’t been a need to be quiet anymore.

Will walked over and sat down beside Eddie and said, “he never tells us how he’s really feeling. When we ask, he always says ‘better,’ with a look on his face that makes us think he’s lying. Why won’t he talk to us?”

Eddie took a moment to think about what to say. After Vecna he had hated the question, ‘how are you?’ and he imagined Steve did too.

“It might not be a lie, Byers,” he said. “It’s just not the whole truth. His feelings are probably complicated and he doesn’t know how to talk about them. I didn’t know how to talk about mine after Vecna. Like I said, just keep doing what you’re doing. It’s going to take time.” 

Will nodded. “Thanks, Eddie.”

Dustin and Lucas came over and started settling down on the floor when Steve walked back into the room. He took the spot on the other side of Will. When everyone was ready, Eddie jumped up to change the tape. His foot caught on the edge of the carpet and he fell to the side, he grabbed onto the table trying to catch himself but ended up knocking the popcorn off and he still fell hard into the edge.  

“Jesus, rolled a ‘nat’ one on that dexterity check, Eddie,” Steve said.

Eddie’s eyes widened at the joke and he turned to look at Steve. The room was quiet as they all seemed to absorb what he said.

“What did you just say?” Dustin asked.

“It was a D&D joke,” Steve replied. “You do play D&D right?”

“Do we play D&D?” Dustin spluttered. “Of course we do! Do you!?”

“With Eds as a boyfriend and all of you gremlins as my friends you think I could get away with not playing? Not a chance.”

Eddie froze at the words, stunned. Steve said them so easily: With Eds as a boyfriend. They echoed in his ears. He still couldn’t quite believe he had heard them. The boys were freaking out but their voices faded into the background as Eddie’s mind spun.

Eds had been Steve’s boyfriend.  

Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington had been together in another universe.

He thought back to the hospital when he had first met Steve, when he called him Eds. There was an emotion in his eyes that Eddie hadn’t been able to name at the time. A desolation that he hadn’t understood…

“I play a half-orc half human barbarian named Chuggington, but his friends call him Chug.” A pause and then, “and yeah, me and Eds were dating.”

Eddie hadn’t heard the question, but Steve’s answer cut through the haze. Only a brief hesitation and he once again said words that would terrify Eddie to speak. Me and Eds were dating. He said it so casually – the sky is blue and the grass is green and me and Eds were dating.

And of course, he named his character fucking Chugginton. Chuggington! Classic Steve –

…But it wasn’t, was it? Eddie couldn’t reconcile it. A Steve who played D&D and dated boys wasn’t the Steve he had known. But then he went and named his character Chuggington? Well, that just screamed Steve.

And the thought wormed its way in before he could stop it – that if, just maybe, he had met Steve a little earlier – that it could have been them?

Nope.

He needed to leave. Go outside and collect himself. He stood up, feeling everyone looking at him. He didn’t say anything, just slipped outside. He could finally place the emotion in Steve’s eyes that day at the hospital…

Heartbreak.

Steve had looked at him like his goddamn heart was breaking.

He took a deep breath and sat down on the steps of his trailer. Reaching into his pocket he took out his cigarettes and lighter, his hand only shaking a little. The wind picked up suddenly and it took him a few tries to get the flame to catch on his cigarette. He took a puff and blew the smoke out into the air.

The door opened and closed behind him and Steve took a seat at his side. Because that was something they did now; follow each other onto porch steps to have deep conversations.

“You didn’t tell them?” he asked.

“I didn’t know,” Eddie replied.

Steve reached into the neckline of his shirt and pulled out the twin to the necklace sitting around his own neck. “This didn’t give it away?”

It dangled from Steve’s fingers and Eddie stared at it. Steve knew the story behind it. Eddie had lied when he said it wasn’t the same. It represented the first time Eddie had a family and a home. He should have put it together. Eds had given it to Steve, which meant Steve had been his family. It just hadn’t crossed his mind that they could have been dating. Close friends, he thought, was the only possibility.

“I knew he cared about you, but not how much. I guess I couldn’t wrap my head around a universe where Steve Harrington was with Eddie Munson.”

It was the truth and spoke to an insecurity that had haunted Eddie since high school. Being with someone like Steve wasn’t even a fantasy he had allowed himself. Perfect, popular, golden boy Steve dating outcast, satanist, Eddie the Freak? Not possible.

“There was at least one,” Steve said and smiled at him, his gaze soft. “Sorry if I made things weird.”

Eddie couldn’t fight back his sigh. “Things have been weird for a long time, Steve.”

Understatement of the goddamn century. Talking to a multiverse traveling Steve Harrington who had been dating him was the tip of the iceberg. Eddie had come back from the dead possessed by an evil overlord so his perspective might be a little skewed, though. Steve looked up at the sky and Eddie looked out at the trailer park, unsure where to go from here. He took another puff of his cigarette before holding it out to Steve. He didn’t notice, still looking up so Eddie cleared his throat. Steve looked down at the cigarette for a moment, a strange look on his face, before taking it.

Damn it, he had to ask.

“So…you’re? –” he couldn’t finish the question. Luckily, he didn’t have to.

“Bisexual,” Steve answered easily as he passed the cigarette back.

“Cool cool,” Eddie said and looked away to take a drag. Bisexual…. Made sense. It would be the perfect moment to tell Steve that he was queer too, that they had that in common. But the words got stuck in his throat. Wayne was the only person who knew. The thought of saying the words to Steve made his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. He wasn’t ready.

The moment passed and they traded the cigarette back and forth until there was nothing left of it.

When he reached down to pick up the ash tray on the bottom step he noticed Steve’s socks – and the handle of the steak knife that was sticking out of it.

“Why is there a steak knife in your sock?”

---

Eddie had drifted off during the second movie. The heat really sapped his energy in the summer and he hadn’t slept well the night before. A scream jerked him into wakefulness and he turned to look around. Dustin had stolen Wayne’s chair at some point and Mike and Lucas were lying on the floor. The couch beside him was empty. Will and Steve were in the kitchen, talking in low tones with their heads close together.

He couldn’t make out what they were talking about but Will looked like he was a second away from crying. Eddie was about to get up and see what was going on when Steve suddenly pulled Will into his arms. He thought his lips were saying, “it’s going to be okay,” but he couldn’t be sure.

Eddie felt his heart soften at the sight. He had noticed the way Will was around Mike and could guess what had prompted the conversation. It was good that he was talking to Steve. The other boys were all engrossed in the movie and missed the tears and hug. A good thing, Eddie thought, they would probably tease and make jokes about it. He turned back to the movie to give them a little more privacy.

It took Will and Steve a minute to gather themselves but they eventually came back over and settled on the couch.

“What’d we miss?” Steve asked quietly.

Dustin hushed him harshly.

Steve just smiled and rolled his eyes before looking over at Eddie.

“The doctors sedated her after she had an episode,” Eddie whispered. “They still don’t know what’s wrong.”

“She really messed up her back doing that stunt,” Dustin said.

“Hey, you can’t shush me and then bring up your little facts.”

“My facts enhance the movie watching experience! You were interrupting for no good reason.”

“Shh!” Lucas said nudging Dustin’s shoulder.

Eddie chuckled under his breath.

He managed to stay awake for the rest of the movie. When the credits rolled, he yawned and stood up, stretching out his tired muscles.

“I’m going to bed,” he said to the room. “You can watch another movie if you want but pull out the couch and make the bed now in case you fall asleep.”

He turned to Steve. “You good to sleep with me?” he asked and then grimaced. Why did he have to word it like that!?

Steve blinked a little in surprise. “Yeah, I’m good with that.”

“Coming now or staying up for another one?”

“Now, it was hard enough staying awake through the last one.”

Eddie left the boys to manage the pull-out couch and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and relieve himself. Steve went in after him, and Eddie headed into the living room to see how the boys were making out. The four of them were piled into the bed, Wayne’s chair abandoned. The third and final movie played on the television.

“Night,” Eddie said and turned back to his room, their chorused ‘good nights’ following him.

Steve was already tucked into his bed, against the wall, when Eddie went in. He was sitting up, his bare chest showing off his healing scars. He had filled out a little more since the lake, his ribs no longer sticking out in such stark definition but he still had a long way to go. He had Eddie’s book in his hands and was reading the back cover.

“I don’t think it’s something you’d like,” Eddie said.

Steve looked up and shrugged. “It might be. I’ve been reading a lot of fantasy lately. Dustin leant me a bunch of books.”

Eddie hummed. “I’ll give it to you when I’m done.”

Steve nodded and handed him the book. Eddie put it on the table before flicking off the light and turning on the fan. He crawled into bed. He was hyper-aware of Steve beside him. The solid warmth of his presence. He had been tired out in the other room, but adrenaline was coursing through him now. Questions he wanted to ask kept running through his head.

“I can hear you thinking,” Steve whispered.

“No, you can’t.”

A little chuckle from the darkness.

“I guess I just don’t understand you.”

“What do you mean?”

“How much you’re like the Steve that I knew and how much you’re different from him.”

“Oh, that! Welcome to my constant dilemma with all of you.”

“Fucking multiverses, right?”

“I had another Eleven come and see me. Skinny little thing with a big scar on her face, popped out of a portal right in front of me!”

“No way!” Eddie exclaimed. “What did she want? Did she try to steal you for her universe?”

Steve laughed. “No, she didn’t try and steal me,” he said and the paused. “She just wanted to know I was alright. She was happy to find me, must have been looking just as long as the Eleven here had been.”

“Wow…” Eddie said and then trailed off. “Do you think more will come?”

A deep breath and release of air from Steve.

“Yeah…I think so,” he replied.   

Eddie’s heart ached. They loved Steve so much. Eleven said she had visited thousands of different universes looking for him, had absolutely refused to give up. Which meant there were thousands of Eleven’s out there looking – another constant alongside Steve sacrificing himself.

Steve Harrington died.

And Eleven wouldn’t stop looking for him.

Eddie was grateful that he seemed to be adjusting, he didn’t know what would have happened if he kept insisting they take him back. Steve was stricken with grief, sad and angry most of the time but he was slowly starting to open up to them. Was slowly starting to tell them about himself and Eddie found that he was grateful for the chance to know him.

Part 13

@just-a-tiny-void @mx-jinxous @child-of-cthulhu @awholedamnmesstbh @phoenix0bird @queenie-ofthe-void @bookworm0690 @estrellami-1 @hbyrde36 @a-gae-af-racoon @nailbatandfreak @newtstabber @novelnovella @meela86 @lenathegay @vampireinthesun @penny00dreadful @questionablequeeries @espressopatronum454 @r0binscript @seths-rogens @fruity-nerd @sani-86 @n0-1-important @swimmingbirdrunningrock @ellietheasexylibrarian @manda-panda-monium @paintsplatteredandimperfect @viridianphtalo @goodolefashionedloverboi @13catastrophic-blues

-Sorry for the delay on this chapter! Life got a bit hectic. -I'm having a bit of a dilemma on some plot point I might want to include and I'm wondering if anyone out there would be cool with me bouncing ideas off them? You would have to be okay with me spoiling bits of the story but if you are at all interested shoot me a pm! -Happy Holidays and thanks for reading!

[skylinx2o]

Gremlins on discord asked me questions about Pebble, so I shall answer >:3

1. What really happened to Pebble after he got taken away from that mysterious man?

He took him to the mortal realm, and they stayed in a cottage/shack for a while. Pebble was locked in one of the rooms, and well, while the man treated him okay, and even with care, he just seemed a bit manic still.

2. If Pebble was to be put into the scroll what would happen to him?

Well, Pebble doesn't have a past reincarnation yet, so he would just be himself. If he was put in it by an antagonist, he would be scared and worried, but he would just follow what Nezha taught him and try to find some safe place before Nezha showed up… But if he was put in the scroll by the Jade Emperor for some reason… Well, he just breaks down and cries a lot. He would question why Nezha didn't stop them :p But, if the Ink Curse found Pebble in the scroll… He would turn into Nezha and torment him that he's not good enough, that everyone judges him, and they only pretend to be nice, that he's a burden and because of his supposed destiny he will never be seen as a valuable person.

3. Does Pebble feels any sense of insecurities on himself or he is okay with the way he is?

He's insecure about how much value he has. He wants to be useful, help people and make Nezha proud. But celestial realm's high standards make him question if he's ever doing enough, studying enough, despite him going over and beyond in his studies.

4. Can Pebble still fly?

Pebble can fly in his dragon form, just not as well as other dragons. He might lose a bit of balance every now and then because of the lower part of his body.

5. What is Pebble's relationship to other celestials and the Jade emperor?

He doesn't pay attention to other celestials. Of course, he doesn't like how they talk about him, and their words does affect him, but Nezha's opinion is the most important to him. Well, some are nice, of course. But Jade Emperor… Well, Pebble is scared of him. Because the Jade Emperor, after everything that happened, is cautious about any possible threat, and a powerful dragon child makes the Jade Emperor watch him like a hawk for any little mistake.

6. Does Pebble get along with Atlas? (Atlas is one of my other OCs btw)

Atlas would absolutely love Pebble, he would be like a second parent to Nezha. Well, technically they would be siblings in that context, since both are taken in by Nezha? Anyway, they're family.

7. What is pebble relationship with Erlang and Xiaotian Quan?

Pebble would probably think that Erlang is pretty cool. He doesn't get many opportunities to talk with him, but he likes his style. And well, Xiaotian Quan… Doggo. He wants to pet him, but doesn't ever ask to. Since still, kinda feels intimidated by the older gods.

8. What is their first prank that they did at Ne Zha?

His first prank was as a baby. He hid in a tipped over giant vase for a whole day. Nezha practically turned the Celestial realm over. He started to think someone kidnapped him. And Pebble stayed quiet until Nezha found him.

9. Has they and Ne Zha ever caught themselves in a huge argument?

Not really, at least not yet…

10. Does pebble usually sleep with Ne Zha or sleep alone?

Well, when Pebble was a baby he would scream every time he would be taken away from Nezha. He sleeps with him less the older he gets, but he still loves to snuggle as they sleep

11. What usually pebble and Ne Zha did when they are bonding?

When Pebble was little, they would play games and stuff, or Nezha would read or tell him stories and old legends. Pebble also loved going to meetings with Nezha and watch him argue with others lol Nowadays, Pebble also just likes when they both sit outside and talk. Pebble also likes when Nezha watches him make ink drawings and talk about them.

12. Has pebble ever complain about Ne Zha cooking?

Does Nezha have time to cook? Well, Pebble appreciates his mentor trying, but… Well, the celestial kitchen is right there Xdd

Vote me boy! :3 👍

@lmk-oc-competition propaganda ✨

[laceswan]

The Spirit of Fate

The Smiling Princess, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5

Finnick Odair x fem!dancer!reader

What if the equivalent of a Disney Princess was thrown into the Hunger Games? Sylke is optimistic and has an affinity for all that is gentle and sweet. What happens when she is placed in an arena and forced to kill or be killed?

Fluff and angst, strangers to lovers, T/W: canon-typical violence

Epilogue is out!

Finnick woke up with a startled gasp. With eyes wide open he was now incredibly aware of all that was touching his body. He could feel the suit from the arena clinging to his body, the cold air and the mask on his face, and a bandage on his arm. Looking around, he saw the inside of a jet much like the one had taken to get to the arena. Beetee and Katniss were in a similar position, lying on mats on the floor with bandages and wires monitoring them. Behind a frosted glass door he heard voices. Slowly, he stood up and walked over to the door. Inside, he found Haymitch and Plutarch sitting by a table and talking.

“You’re up.”

“I am. Where are the others?”

Plutarch stepped closer. There was sadness in his expression, but Finnick had half a mind not to trust it.

“Snow got to them before we could, there wasn’t any time.”

Finnick leaned against the table, his head hung low and defeated.

“Alright… what about Sylke, where’s she? Are we headed to the house or-“

This time it was Haymitch that spoke. He placed a hesitant hand on Finnick's shoulder.

“Finnick, I’m really sorry.”

Terror painted across Finnick’s face.

“We sent some people, but by the time they got there…”

Haymitch trailed off as Finnick sunk into his body. He let his body fall onto a chair, but had it not been there he would have just ended up on the floor. He assumed the worst. His hands flew to cover his mouth and muffle the little cries that came out. He’d already suffered her death once before, why again?

“Do we at least have her body? I want… I wanna give her a proper burial.”

His voice was shaky, but this was what needed to be done. He needed at least to say goodbye.

Haymitch looked to him with utmost pity.

“Son, she’s alive. They got her.”

And suddenly her death felt like a blessing. Burning emotion seized his body. It wasn’t even rage, nor terror, just pure anguish.

“No, no! You told me-you promised! You promised we would get her out!”

Haymitch sighed.

“I made a lot of promises. We’ll send a rescue team when the dust settles.”

Finnick nodded. His whole body was still stricken and trembling with agony, but he wasn’t one to throw a tantrum; especially not when he knew firsthand the nuances of covert operation in the capitol. Katniss, however, was a different sorry. When she heard about Peeta she did everything Finnick’s impulse had urged him to do. She screamed and shouted, even attacked Haymitch. She clawed and batted at him like a desperate animal, repeating that he made a promise, that he was a liar. Finnick could only watch, for once feeling pity, as well as understanding. Ten years ago, he would have done exactly the same.

When they landed in District Thirteen, Finnick, Katniss, and Beetee were sent to the infirmary. The lightning strike had presented some complications to Finnick’s health, so they dressed him in a white gown and admitted him to a small room with a thick glass door until he recovered. The room was probably white too, clinical and pristine, probably cleaned by the hour. But right now, it looked like it was coated in mustard gas. The lights buzzed with a sort of iodine yellow hue, washing the room in an ominously warm colour.

During his recovery, they allowed him few personal items-not that he had many to begin with. He was however, able to get some rope. When he was awake his mind would race. There was nothing to do, nothing to keep him distracted, his only task was apparently to recover. He could at least keep his hands busy, tying and untying the same couple ropes until there were blisters on his hands. It helped to move his hands, but not enough. Every second, his head was flooded with thoughts of her. Perhaps he had brought this on himself, refusing to think about her for so long in the arena, simply because there wasn’t time. Now, he had all the time in the world, and it felt wrong not to think of her at every moment. They were keeping her alive, he was sure of that much. They wouldn’t give up their leverage so easily. Was she in a similar room, white and cold with a similarly racing mind? We’re they hurting her? Or was she still just some pretty thing in a cage? Was she able to dance? A bittersweet smile came to Finnick’s face when he pictured her dancing. He saw her in a room just like his, in a gown just like his, dancing barefoot around the room with her eyes closed. It brought him comfort, the idea that she could perhaps maintain at least a little joy. But of course, thoughts of her dancing were followed by a much more somber and unfortunately likely possibility. In his mind, Finnick couldn’t help but wonder if they were restraining her. He saw her strapped fo a bed much like the one he had in the infirmary, struggling and begging to be given even a moment of freedom to move. He at least had that privilege. He could pace, sit on the floor, even dance if her wanted to. What if she couldn’t? Such questions plagued him mind. The span of morbid possibilities refused to be ignored, and so he listened to that dangerous voice. He fell into a spiraling rabbit-hole of ways she might have been hurting, only further enabled by his present utter inability to help her.

It affected his health too. The doctors called it a parasympathetic stress response, but all he understood was that it felt like shit. He was always tired but only sometimes able to sleep, he experienced phantom pain in random places, and everything took longer to heal. The time he spent in the infirmary was miserable. It was miserable for Katniss too. She had a nightmare once and came into his room. That night was perhaps his lowest point. It was when death looked so welcoming, so lovely a fate to experience, if only it would come sooner. The only thing that kept him alive was knowing the capitol wouldn’t let her die. He refused to die if she was still alive and hurting.

Katniss somehow recovered much faster. Finnick was a little jealous, that she was able to keep living her life even when Peeta was in the capitol. She was discharged, and not long after, Coin called everyone to hear a speech, which included those admitted in the infirmary. Finnick stood with the doctors and other patients, making a little patch of white in a sea of grey. Coin announced that Katniss was to be the face of the rebellion, and that in exchange for that, there were some “concessions”. Specifically the extraction the the victors held hostage in the capitol. The crowd began to clamor at the mention of Peeta’s name. They shouted and exclaimed, rejecting Peeta’s rescue. Katniss made her way over as Johanna’s name was announced.

“Finnick, I made the deal for Sylke too.”

Coin’s voice boomed through the hall.

“…and Sylke Fairinan”

Their was utter silence at her name. Some people looked a little confused. Finnick was just a little shocked himself as well. He never quite thought of Sylke as a victor. Hearing her name, her full name, announced like that to a crowd made her feel like a public figure, a celebrity, someone with an image and a life they hide from the world. But to him she was just Sylke, that’s what she’d always been. He hadn’t even heard her last name in ten years. She was always just Sylke, the angel that occupied eternal space in his mind and heart.

“Once freed, they will be granted pardon for any and all crimes committed against the rebel cause.”

The crowd once again resulted into vocal dissent and anger. A worries look quickly came to Katniss’ face. Finnick tried to console her, knowing the two of them were the only ones with loved ones hostage in the capitol.

“Good.”

She looked to him, concerned and clearly unsure of herself.

“That’s good, Katniss.”

For the first time in a long time, there was a small smile on his face. There was hope again, however small.

“If Katniss Everdeen fails to fulfill her duties, the deal will be off.”

That look of fear and heartache returned to both of their faces as the people filed out of the hall. It occurred to Finnick as he made his way back to the infirmary that his spirits were rather fragile now. That night, when he was alone, words couldn’t help but escape his lips. Even with Coin’s speech, hope was hard to hold onto. Finnick sat on the floor of his room, leaning against the bed with his head hung low.

“Angel, how do you do it? How do you stay smiling? I’m trying, I promise.”

His voice was quiet, speaking words meant only for him and someone miles away.

“I’m so tired.”

He cried quietly to himself, though did eventually drift to sleep there on the floor.

Finnick recovered slowly. While Katniss was filming propos and being the Mockingjay, he was in the infirmary. He wallowed, but with every day came a little more hope. Katniss and Beetee sometimes came to see him, bringing news of the rebellion’s plans. Smiling got easier, as did picturing Sylke dancing. The idea that she would be alright seemed more and more true. When the phantom pains and memories of Sylke finally became manageable, he traded in his white gown for a grey jumpsuit.

The whole of thirteen gathered one night to watch Katniss’ new propo. He was horrified by the bombing, he was angry with Snow for uncountable reasons, what he was not was triumphant. At the end, the symbol of the mockingjay came onto the screen accompanied by a message. Join the fight. The crowd chanted their celebration like they won a war. That sort of victory song always felt misplaced to Finnick. Blaring horns and happy voices when people lie dead on the battlefield. People showering him with gifts and congratulations just after someone died in his arms. But that was what the propos were meant to do. He looked to Katniss beside him, and she had a similar look of confusion and discomfort.

“You don’t like hearing a fight song at a funeral, huh?”

She turned her head to look at him. He continued, reminding her and himself of what they needed to remember.

“The more people on our side, the closer we are to Sylke and Peeta.”

She nodded. No matter how icky it felt, this was what needed to be done.

The days passed with incredible monotony. Every day was exactly the same, the same schedule, the same people. The only variety came in the form of news, speeches, broadcasts. One night, Finnick visited Katniss in her room and they watched Peeta’s interview. He was crying, and he looked terrified. Finnick in a way envied her, for she able to see Peeta’s face and know that he was at least physically healthy. But he also knew that the pain of seeing him say everything they couldn’t believe in was a whole different world of pain and confusion. In the short time he knew Peeta, the subject of rebellion or even government never really came into conversation. It was the same with Sylke. Perhaps that was the worst part; that what Peeta was asking of Katniss and the rebels seemed entirely possible. From where he was standing, he just wanted the violence to stop. He was most certainly being fed information, being manipulated by the capitol, but the root of his argument was something understandable. It was almost reminiscent of Sylke’s words in her interview so long ago. She was never one for violence or combat. Ever since the beginning, she favoured diplomacy, kindness, and compromise. Finnick couldn’t help but wonder if Peeta’s words were even that treacherous. They were currently entrenched in desperate times, and thus desperate measures were called for. But later, they would need people like Peeta, like Sylke, to remind them of the value of compassion. Finnick made a small promise to himself, that he would try to be one of those people, at least when the fighting was over. If they managed to win, he was going to try to be like her. To be kind, to have mercy, and to offer grace.

The next day, he went with Katniss to hunt above ground. It was calming for both of them, getting to move and use the skills they had honed for years. That familiar feeling of a trident sinking into flesh, the thwip of an arrow as it flies through the air, it brought them comfort. They did eventually sit down too.

“I’m glad we were able to come out today. I think you needed this after last night.”

She nodded.

“I don’t like watching those broadcasts, but I can’t look away. He’s so different already. What are they doing to him?”

Finnick was quiet for a moment.

“I don’t know. I think that’s the worst part.”

“It is. They could be telling him to say all that stuff and threatening to kill him, or maybe they’re actually convincing him it’s true. I don’t know what’s better.”

“I don’t think there is a better. It’s all bad when it comes to Snow.”

She murmured agreement. They were quiet again, listening to the birds and the rustling trees. Nature has such an ability to soothe, with her ambient noise and dappled light. It made them feel safe enough to talk.

“Is it bad that I just want this to be over? Sometimes I think he’s right, that we should just give up. At least then I could see him again.”

“I don’t think that’s bad, Katniss. I think it’s human.”

She looked unsure of herself.

“You miss him. And you want to be with him, so you can know he’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Do you want it to be over?”

“Of course. I just want to know she’s safe. That safety could come with a ceasefire, or with victory.”

“Yeah. But a ceasefire means she goes back to that mansion.”

Finnick clicked his tongue and tilted his head in agreement.

“And that’s why I’m here. If we win, we wouldn’t just be safe, we’d be happy. I want her to be happy.”

Katniss smiled.

“I think I could be happy with him.”

They spent a few more hours talking in the forest, confiding in each other as the only other people who could relate, who knew this special sort of pain. Their afternoon in the forest was a nice respite, but they did eventually need to return to the concrete rooms under the earth.

After the attack on the dam, another interview was broadcast. Peeta called it inhuman, begged her to stop. He looked so genuinely terrified. But what he was scared of was unclear. There was something just behind the camera, something that instilled and powerful fear in him.

“They’re coming, Katniss. They’re gonna kill everyone. And in District Thirteen you’ll be dead by morning-“

The broadcast was cut off as he was dragged away. Sirens began to blare, people filed out to level forty. If there was panic in the air it was hard to detect. People were calm and orderly as they rushed down the stairs, perfectly trained soldiers. That is, until water rained from above and the lights went out. People screamed, ran, let go of order in favour of getting to the bunker. People would scream each time a blast hit. When the night grew quieter, no one slept. They just kept waiting for the cracks in the ceiling to widen, for the walls to cave in and for death to arrive. Finnick sat in one of the beds, fiddling with the gold bangle instead of rope, which he had given to Katniss during the bombing. She had looked like she needed it more than him. In the quiet of night, Katniss walked over and sat beside him.

“He’s taunting me, using Peeta to punish me. I didn’t understand until just now, watching that stupid cat.”

“Yeah. That’s why he took Sylke too.”

Finnick sighed before continuing.

“After your first Games, I thought the whole romance was an act. We all expected you’d continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta’s heart stopped and he almost died that…"

He looked at Katniss directly, hoping to convey just how sincere and vulnerable this conversation was for him. This sort of openness wasn't exactly natural to him, but it needed to be said, and right now, she needed to hear it.

"I misjudged you. You love him. Anyone paying attention can see it.”

“How do you live with it?”

“I’ve been doing it for ten years. For five of them I thought she was gone. I did the whole self-pity thing the first time around. I had nightmares-I still do. But you learn not to give in to it. It gets easier.”

She listened, nodding her head ever so slightly.

“But then it happened again. And it takes ten times longer to put yourself back together than it does to fall apart, you saw how long I was in the infirmary. But if Sylke taught me anything it’s that little joys can keep you alive. They kept her sane in that house, and they’ve kept me going down here.”

Katniss didn’t say anything. They sat in silence for a while, and once Finnick started nodding off, she went back to her sister and mother.

In the morning, she was gone and thirteen was buzzing with action. Finnick was sitting, anxiously waiting for something he could do to help. Beetee was working through the capitol’s electronic system or something, there was a rescue team setting up, and all Finnick could do was watch. He had signed up to be on the team, but as a refugee and not a soldier, they informed him that he couldn’t. By nightfall they finally had a job for him. He was going to be a distraction broadcast so they could jam the whole system, and the team could safely get it. He stood on a pile of rubble and white roses, with stagelights warming his skin.

“This is Finnick Odair, winner of the 65th Hunger Games. I’m coming to you from District 13, alive and well. We’ve survived an assault from the capitol. But I’m not here to give you recent news. Instead, I’m here to tell you the truth. The truth about the capitol.”

He continued for what felt like forever, indulging in his whole story, the one he only ever told Sylke. The story of how after he turned sixteen, he was sold like a commodity to socialites in the capitol. That he wasn’t the only one, and if you refused, your loved ones were killed. That there was one girl who was dead to the rest of the world, but Snow brought her back just to sell her.

“Remember Sylke Fairinan? She was your princess. You dressed her up in fancy gowns and gold tiaras before she went into the arena. I felt her die in my arms. And then they started her heart back up and sold to the highest bidder. Lycan Indigo. He kept her like a doll, locked in a mansion for ten years. She’s alive. You kept your princess in a gilded cage. And what's worse, after ten years in that place, after slowly learning to find happiness there, you've taken her from it again. President Snow is holding her hostage, to taunt me. He is not the kind man he shows himself to be.”

Finnick kept going. He revealed Snow’s history of poison and assignation, the reason behind his heavy perfume, the bloody sores in his mouth, every secret he knew was a secret no longer. As he spoke, one or the people behind the camera spoke up.

“Okay, you can stop.”

“Is there a problem?”

“Yeah, it looks like they’re broadcasting Katniss now.”

Finnick nodded, unsure of what was going on. They went back down to find everyone looking incredibly distraught. He and Katniss sat in a room, silent, waiting for news. He once again had the rope in his hands, tying and untying knots to keep his hands busy. He had to think she was safe. He had to. Cause if he considered for even a moment that she wasn’t, he’d fall apart again. When Haymitch opened the door, their eyes show up.

“They’re back.”

All that needed to be said for them to get up and sprint to the landing area. Johanna was the first one they saw. She was gaunt, her head shaved, but a smirk was still on her face. And then he heard it.

“Finnick? Finnick!”

That voice he hadn’t stopped hearing for ages, but only ever in his head. Her name fell from his mouth involuntarily, quietly questioning if it was real as he ran towards the source of her voice. Later, people would tell him that they said each other’s names perhaps a thousand times in that single exchange. He would notice later that she looked weak, her hair was longer and had lost some of it’s shine, and that despite all that her spirit had in no way dimmed. Her eyes had lit up when she saw him walk in the room. And suddenly, it was as if there was no one in the world but the two do them, crashing through space to reach each other. They collided and lost balance, slamming against a wall, but they stayed there, clinging into one being. Indivisible. He whispered like he didn’t believe it.

“You’re safe…”

She pulled her head out from his embrace to look at him, nodding with a smile. Whether they were smiling or laughing or crying, even they didn’t know. Words fail to describe the joy, the relief, the wonder of being back together. When heart rates slowed and the dust settled, they finally spoke. Finnick had a smile the magnitude of which hadn’t touched his face in far too long.

“Hi.”

“Hi. It’s been a minute.”

As though they were one being, they burst into simultaneous and gentle laughter.

“Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

“No, no, I’m okay. They beat me up a little, but I’ll be alright.”

“They what?”

Finnick’s voice was hoarse, breathy. He knew that they would do that, and yet in that moment he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that someone would ever want to hurt her. Not even Mr. Indigo did that. But her smile clearly wasn’t gone. With a voice laced with affection, she put a hand against his cheek and reassured him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. You guys got me out before they started my ‘treatment’. I’ll be just fine, I promise.”

“We should get you to the infirmary.”

“Okay.”

Still refusing to stop touching her, Finnick scooped her into his arms and carried her himself to the infirmary. On the way there, her head was nuzzled in the crook of his neck.

“I was right, you know.”

“Hmm? How?”

“I knew you’d come back to me. You didn’t win, but you didn’t have to. I told you, didn’t I?”

“You did. You were right to hope.”

She laughed to herself, closing her eyes. Even with her sunny disposition, her body was clearly exhausted.

“Sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

As her body melted further into his and her breathing slowed, he continued walking. They didn’t put her in a room, apparently her condition wasn’t that bad, so she would only need a bed for a few days. Mostly bruises, a couple of open wounds, but nothing bad.

When she woke up, she found herself in a cold room devoid of colour. For a moment, she wondered if it was a dream. Sitting up, she looked around. Finnick wasn’t there, and neither was anyone else. The curtains were drawn. Had they moved her to a new place? We’re they starting her treatment? She hastily removed the IV from her arm, leaving the patch with the needle and luer connector, but no tubing. Whatever they were pumping into her needed to stop there.

“Johanna? Peeta?”

Silence. She heard faint chatter from just outside, doctors or scientists getting ready. Hesitant feet touched the ground. Her fingers brushed against the thin fabric of the curtain. Fear kept her from grasping it. What would she see on the other side? There was hope in her still that she was safe, that she wasn’t in the capitol anymore, but what if she was wrong? What if she was still there, destined to be Syren Indigo? What if she was wrong to hope?

“Hello?”

She heard footsteps. Fearing the scolding that might come should they find her out of bed, she laid back down and put the IV back against the luer connector, though not actually placing it inside. Hopefully she’d be able to fool them. The footsteps got louder. It wasn’t necessary, but she wasn’t ready to face them yet, so she relaxed her body and closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. She heard metal rings scraping against a pole as the curtain was opened.

“Sylke?”

That was his voice. She wanted to open her eyes, see him, but what if it was a lie? What if this was the start of her treatment? She heard how it started with Peeta. They played him altered clips and all sorts of things. What if this was one of those?

“Oh. You’re still asleep.”

A chair was pulled up, and someone sat down. A warm hand smoothed out her hair. She took a long inhale. No perfume. The hand then gently rested on hers. She knew that touch, and it made her flinch. But still terrified, she kept her eyes closed. The technology of the capitol could do anything.

“Sylke? Are you awake?”

That was his voice. He sounded so real. Even if it wasn’t him, couldn’t she take a look? Even if it was fake, couldn’t she see his face again? That voice of temptation was so loud. What would be the worst that could happen? They were going to wake her up anyway. Slowly, hesitantly, she opened her eyes. And there he was. With those lovely green eyes staring right back at her.

“Hey, Angel. How are you feeling?”

She frantically searched his eyes, before looking to everything else around her. His eyes looked right. His face too. He was in a grey jumpsuit. Everything else was grey too. Behind him was what the curtain used to cover. It looked like a hospital. It was quiet, but not deadly silent. It didn’t look the same. The walls weren’t pristine white, they were concrete. The lights would flicker every now and then, nothing seemed quite perfect like it was before.

“Angel? Is everything alright?”

She looked back at him with terror in her eyes.

“Are you real? Are you really here?”

He moved closer to her, with nothing but love and affection in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m real. We’re safe. We’re in thirteen, remember?”

“We are?”

“Mhmm. You’re in the infirmary right now, but they said you can be discharged in a day or two.”

He looked at the IV lying unconnected at her arm, and plugged it back in with a chuckle.

“That is, if you actually listen to the doctors and take the meds they give you.”

She smiled, a sad, bittersweet smile.

“How come you unplugged it?”

“I… I thought I was in the capitol. I thought they had moved me to start my treatment.”

“You said that earlier too. What treatment?”

“I’m not entirely sure, I didn’t hear all of it. But Mr. Indigo… when he visited me-“

“He came to see you?”

“Yeah. Almost every day for maybe an hour, he’d come in and talk to me, make sure they were treating me well, he even snuck in a couple things for me once. More recently he started mentioning the treatment. Said he talked to the doctors and convinced them to let me get the help I needed, so I wouldn’t be starting fires in my room anymore. And he said it would make me a real Indigo if I wasn’t already. I remember the words.

‘Syren Indigo. Got a nice ring to it, don’t it?’

I heard what they were doing to Peeta. I figured they’d do something similar to me. He wanted me to be his daughter.”

“Oh Sylke…”

The words to be said evaded him and he was left with only actions. He stood up and walked over to the bed, gesturing that she move over. She did, and he crawled under the covers, holding her close in his arms. His embrace was warm, comforting, familiar.

“Finnick. I don’t want to forget you. I don’t want to forget.”

He held her even tighter, placing a kiss on her head.

“You won’t, I promise. I’ll make sure of it. You remember how to waltz?”

She looked at him with a grin.

“Of course.”

“Then get up.”

He got out of the bed and offered his hand. The moment she took it, he placed a hand on her waist, pulling her close. With his other hand, he grabbed the pole on wheels from which a bag of saline fluid hung. Sylke rested her hand by his neck and with the other room Finnick’s hand, holding the pole as well.

“Do you remember?”

“I couldn’t possibly let myself forget. Not when I still owed you a dance.”

And with that, they swayed about the section of the room she had been allotted. It was just like she taught him that night, all those years ago. One, two, three, brush, one, two, three, brush. Swept up in the music they heard in their heads, the dance continued. He spun her around, lifted her off the floor, and always right on the downbeat. It ended when they let go of the pole and it rolled too far away. Sylke felt a sharp tug at her arm and the imaginary music stopped.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just maybe we should be more careful."

“Sorry. I guess I got a little carried away.”

Sylke laughed, wrapping her arms up by his neck.

“We both did. Once I’m out of here, we’ll get to dance properly.”

Finnick nodded.

“Soon.”

Finnick did eventually have to leave and resume his schedule. Sylke went back to sleep, clutching a pillow in his stead. Slowly but surely, a new world faded in. Her limbs were blocky, solid, and utterly incapable of movement. All that she had control over was her eyes, glancing around. In her periphery, she was able to figure out what exactly she was. She was a marionette, strung up on a stage. In the audience, right there in the front row, we’re the cold, wolf-like eyes of Mr. Indigo. He was watching her, with a hideous, inhuman grin. And then the music started. It was plucky, out of tune, like a harpsichord left untouched for ages. And she began to dance. Her arms and legs flailed about, and her torso was yanked up and down. She couldn’t open her mouth or even breathe, and yet somehow she kept moving. This dancing cage of hers moved without life or spirit. It had no bones, no muscle, only string that extended up into the vague darkness above.

Sylke didn’t wake up screaming or yelling. Her eyes merely flew open, tears already pouring down her face. Sniffling and quietly sobbing, she sat up and clutched the pillow in her arms. Johanna, from the neighboring bed, spoke up. Her tone was harsh, unsympathetic.

“What are you crying about?”

“I-I just had a bad dream.”

“Yeah? What about?”

“Mr. Indigo. He was looking at me, and I just…”

Words dissolved into sniffles. Johanna just laughed. There was venom in her voice when she spoke.

“Your scared of him? Seriously? That man visited you almost every day. He was so good to you-“

Heartache emerged from her throat.

“He loved you!”

A whimper escaped from Sylke and she clutched the pillow even tighter.

“But he…”

“He what? I heard him talk about you, he had nothing but love for you.”

"Please don't say that..."

She kept going, words flowing like a river from her mouth, with no hesitation or tact.

“Are you really that ungrateful? Everything he did was for you…”

She paused for a moment, a devilish smile growing on her face.

“… for his little Syren.”

“Please, just stop…”

Sylke took a shaky breath, shifting to look at Johanna straight on.

“I never asked for his love. I know he’s the reason I’m still alive, I know that it could have been worse. But that man took my life and made it his.”

The shaking stopped. Sylke regained her composure. She stood up and walked to Johanna’s bed, sitting down next to her. Their time in the capitol made them quite familiar with one another’s hardships. Sylke knew exactly where these words were coming from. She knew why Johanna was hurting, she knew that when one has no one, even unwanted love seems desirable. And so she spoke gently, hoping her empathy would be understood as such, rather than pity.

“Mr. Indigo didn’t love me as a person. He didn’t care if I was happy, so long as I provided entertainment. That’s not how you’re supposed to love someone.”

Johanna nodded, saying nothing. She knew she overstepped, she knew her words were impulsive. And now suddenly she felt a little guilty. Sylke had appealed to her humanity with just a few sentences.

“I know. It just hurts, you know?”

“I know.”

Sylke murmured more validation, placing her head on Johanna’s shoulder. She wanted to say that Johanna had friends here, people who loved her, but decided to let it be quiet. She’d say it some other time.

Sylke’s wounds took very little time in healing. She only needed to stay in the infirmary until the larger wounds had closed up, which didn’t take long. Really, they only worried about the cut on her side. She remembered when it was made. The blade was jagged and dull, dragging across her skin at a snail’s pace, over and over again. They asked her with every stroke what she knew. Of course Finnick hadn’t told her about the plan, she barely even knew he was a rebel. But they kept going. First there was a raised line of red, where the skin was raw and irritated. The blade tore further into her skin, but drew no blood. They grabbed her arms with and iron grip and threw her back into her cell, earning her a couple bruises. Once there was a film of yellow scabbing, they took her back out. Slowly, and again with the questions, they peeled it. With the layer of platelets gone, blood dribbled out of the wound. The flesh beneath was tender, and they took advantage of that. She answered each question honestly, but they didn’t like what she said. And with each answer they didn’t like, she received another swipe against her side with the jagged blade. Eventually, they gave up on trying to get information out of her. Sometimes they would try again, but never to that degree.

Now, she had a bandage wrapped around that area, gently changed and cleaned every couple of hours. The doctors were kind here, always making sure it was alright to touch her and asking if the bandage was too tight. Under their care, the wound closed up in no time. By then, all of her smaller cuts and bruises left only fading scars. Soon, she was given a drab grey jumpsuit and assigned to new quarters. It was a small room not unlike the infirmary in style. There were two small beds and a table between them, one bed for her and the other for a roommate. After guiding her to the room, the nurse previously assigned to her shut the door, leaving her alone in that room. She did not hear the click of a lock. Her schedule was to start tomorrow, for now she could settle in and find a place in the room for any personal items. Of course she had none, but curiosity led her to peak at her roommate’s. Everything was neat, folded, as though it was never lived in. The only signs of a human’s stay there were a couple of items on the table, seemingly the only personal items this roommate of hers had. Perhaps they were a refugee as well, with only a moment to have gathered items of sentimental value. Or perhaps residents of thirteen simply didn’t value material possessions all that much. Considering the lack of decor and personality in all parts of the place she had seen, that was in fact the case. Sylke allowed herself to fantasise for a moment about who this person might be. A coal miner from twelve? She had always wanted to see a forest, maybe they could tell her about them. A soldier from thirteen? One who had trained their whole life for combat, for revolution, and now finally had the chance to prove themselves? Or perhaps another refugee from the capitol. What if she knew them? What if one of the few people she was able to meet in the capitol had been a rebel, one who took a chance one night and ran away? They could exchange life stories, maybe become friends. But none of those turned out to be true. On the table, she found a golden bangle and a short bit of rope, neither of which told her about this person. She sat on one of the beds, hopefully the unoccupied one, and waited. She wasn’t tired, she’d slept plenty in the infirmary. So she sat, waiting for something to happen. The door slid open to reveal her roommate.

“Finnick?”

He chuckled.

“I asked them to put you in as my roommate, I didn’t know they’d actually do it. How are you feeling?”

“Good. Everything’s healing well, so I they discharged me this afternoon. I do still have to keep it bandaged, but the wound is much smaller now.”

“That’s great!”

He walked over to the bed and stood before here, a smile adorning his face.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to have you here with me.”

She leaned into his touch as he caressed her cheek. The words “I love you” were not needed in that moment. There was a mutual understanding of affection, one that had been there for ten years. Though not entirely true, retrospect and nostalgia had a way of convincing both of them that it had always been this way, that this familiarity and affection was present since that first night they met. In some ways this was correct, there was always a connection. But the comfort in it had developed over time. Insecurity was able to fade away, they became more familiar with the other’s habits. And yet wonder was not lost. There was still a glimmer of shock, of flustered joy in moments of affection. Things between them weren’t perfect, but they were damn well close to it.

Sylke’s task in thirteen was to help in the kitchen. The food was boring, seasoned only with salt, and they often stirred in powders of vitamin supplements or something of that nature, because the people down here rarely saw the sun. She spent her days standing beside people she found to be kind, talkative in comparison to the Indigo household staff, and generally pleasant company. Life was certainly monotonous, but that was something she was used to. At least now, she wasn’t alone. During mealtimes, she would serve the food, watching everyone eat and chat from afar. On occasion, she would sneak away and sit by Finnick, but that often got her scolded by someone who cared far too much for rules. At the end of the day, the whole facility would get dimmer, and she would be back in her room with Finnick. The beds were made for one person, but they made it work for the both of them. In the mornings, she would wake up before him, needing to go and prepare breakfast. His arms held her tightly, unwilling to let go.

“Finnick, I need to go.”

His voice was deep, raspy, and barely awake.

“I don’t want you to go.”

She giggled and pressed a kiss to his jaw. His eyes were still closed, but a satisfied grin appeared on his face.

“Fine. Two minutes, and then I really have to go.”

He groaned, considering her offer, the sound vibrating through his chest.

“Okay.”

Running his fingers up her body, he attempted to feel for her face, too tired to open his eyes. His touch was gentle and yet possessive, still unwilling to let go. Once he found her jaw, he pulled it closer and planted endless kisses on her face. At some point, his eyes fluttered open. He was confronted with the image of her smile, a little tired and a little exasperated, but undeniably lovely.

“You’re beautiful.”

A little colour came to her cheeks.

“You know, you can’t keep me here forever. Do you want food today or not?”

He let a sigh as she got up from the bed.

“Alright fine, I concede. Just one more kiss though.”

She laughed, leaning down to peck his forehead before leaving. Once alone, Finnick’s mind couldn’t help but fantasise about waking up with her every day, and not having to rush off somewhere.

The explicit concept of marriage had come up only once or twice in their five years of exchanging letters. Far more common was talk of a hypothetical life they would have one day. A wedding was implied, but never really stated outright. Instead, they talked about days without urgency, when they could lie in bed for hours, dance in the kitchen instead of cooking, fall asleep on the beach, and all of this simply because they wanted to. But as the danger of revolution increased, both of them began thinking about the specifics of that vague life together. It didn’t take Finnick long to understand that he wanted to marry her. He mentioned it one night when the room felt quiet and too awake.

“Hey,”

“Hmm?”

“Would you want to get married? I know we’ve talked about being together, when it’s all over, but what if we did it now?”

She looked to him with wide doe-eyes.

“Now?”

“I mean here, in thirteen. Before anything happens-before anything possibly could happen. Just in case.”

She took a moment to think, sinking into his chest. If she had been falling asleep before, she was wide awake now.

“Okay. Just in case.”

“Yeah. That way if something happens, I’ll have been married to you. Another thing to help prove to the world that you’re here, and that I’m yours.”

She lifted herself to prop her head up on her hand, smiling at him. He soon followed, staring lovingly back at her.

“I like the sound of that.”

She placed a kiss on his lips.

“But nothing’s going to happen to you, okay?”

That was partially a lie. There was a reason they were doing this, a risk, and they both knew it. But after everything they’d been through, fate had to be in their favour. It would simply be wrong, to have done all of this, just to lose their happily ever after.

She reassumed her position lying on his chest after that, speaking softly to him, but also to herself.

“I used to picture my wedding, you know. When I was little, I had this image in my head of a white dress and a castle and a ballroom, like in the fairytales. I didn’t know who would be my prince or princess charming, but I knew that I’d love them. That was always the best part. I know we won’t be in a castle, but in a way it’ll be exactly like how I dreamed of as a child.”

He was falling asleep by that point. She lifted herself to look at his peaceful face. He looked calm and safe, lying next to her like he was sure, like everything in the world assured him, that this is where he was supposed to be.

“I love you, my prince.”

Plutarch explained that the wedding was going to be filmed. “To show the capitol that we’re alive and well” he said. Because of that, they were allowed all sorts of luxuries that thirteen didn’t usually permit. The hall was glowing with amber light and greenery they brought in from above. Finnick was dressed in a lighter grey than usual, with sturdy fabric that hugged his waist but got a little looser at the shoulders. He was also given something of a cape, but it only covered one shoulder. He looked somewhere between a soldier and a duke. For Sylke they made a dress fit for a princess. White of course, a colour held with some disdain in thirteen. The skirt was long and full, trailing behind her every so slightly when she walked. It was simple, no layers of tulle or golden jewelry to match, but it made her feel like herself, entirely herself, which was really all it needed to be. It felt like all of her, nothing held back or exaggerated for anyone.

She made her way alone down the aisle, smiling at the man ahead, the destination toward which she walked. He took her hands in his, this time with no iron bars between them. She looked into his green eyes, like she had so many times before, and everything felt right in the world. There was no sunlight or gentle breeze, no magnolias or birdsong, but there didn’t need to be. He was here, looking back at her with all the love in the world. When it came time for her to say her vows, she had very little prepared. She spoke truthfully, freely, saying everything that her heart told her to say in that moment.

“My darling Finnick. I’ve said to you before that I believe in fate. We were just kids when we met, and even then, I knew my story was tied to yours. I promise to love you, to cherish you, and to be by your side for the rest of happily ever after that fate allows.”

The smile on his face grew before he took a breath and said his vows.

“Sylke, my angel, you have my heart, as you always have, for all eternity. Whether together or apart, we will always be united, tied together by the strings of fate. I promise to protect you, to dance with you, and to love you until death do us part.”

They didn’t quite need to be told that they could kiss, but once prompted, they did just that. All of thirteen began to applaud, but neither Sylke nor Finnick could bring themself to care for the audience. Just as it had ten years ago, the watching eyes melted away, leaving only tenderness and love burning between the them.

The festivities began once the aisle and ceremonial decor was packed away. First was a slow waltz meant just for the newlyweds. The two of them had danced in their room many times before, but never with music. With a guiding melody, they were able to truly get lost in the movement. No longer was it necessary to count or concentrate, they could simply dance. They swayed and twirled about the room, never once breaking eye contact. When the music slowed to a halt, Sylke was securely nested in Finnick’s arms and lowered to a dip. There was once again applause as people came to join them on the dance floor. A more upbeat tune filled the hall as everyone started to dance. The sound of lively fiddles filled the room, and spirits were lifted. It seemed like everyone was having a lovely time, smiling and laughing with friends. For that night, war was but an afterthought. It was a respite from tragedy, a true celebration of all that is good and lovely, and its survival even in dark times.

It wasn’t long after the wedding that Finnick was sent away again. He and Sylke had a rather lousy honeymoon, spent mostly in their room underground or in the forest just above. Soldiers were slowly returning from the fight at the capitol, some injured, others returning for a dignified burial. Sylke was transferred to the infirmary when it got too understaffed. And then Plutarch called Finnick into a meeting. That night, Finnick sat waiting in their room until Sylke returned from her shift in the infirmary. She entered the room and gravitated to his hunched figure.

“Finnick, are you alright?”

She placed a hand to his face, suggesting that he look at her. His eyes were sad, conflicted, scared. Sylke saw his expression and quickly kissed him before anything more could be said.

“What happened?”

He shifted to make space for her on the bed; she sat down.

“Plutarch wants me in the capitol. They put together this squad for filming propos, he calls it the face of the invasion.”

He spoke so matter-of-factly, such that it was hardly a question: he would be going. There was no debate about it, both of them knew that. An all too familiar feeling churned in her core. Her chest became heavy and her throat strained. She croaked out a single sentence before leaning into his embrace.

“Come back to me, okay?”

He held her tightly, the way he wanted to that night outside the mansion.

“I will. I believe in fate.”

They fell asleep there, unsure when the trembling cries faded into unconsciousness.

Finnick left in the morning. Goodbyes were cut short by the arrival of a jet full of wounded soldiers. Sylke was pulled away by the other medical staff, parting with a fleeting kiss and a smile.

The infirmary was bursting with people. New patients arrived every day from the capitol, covered in wounds and burns and horror stories from the city. They told of abandoned streets full of bombs and traps set by peacekeepers. Every moment of peace or quiet we’re impossible to trust, they were left waiting for the inevitable bloodshed as they walked through empty streets. Sylke couldn’t help but wonder the state of the mansion. Had Mr. Indigo evacuated? What did he take with him? She pictured the house empty, devoid of the usual upkeep, dusty and alone. What about the household? Had they gone as well? What would they do without their jobs? Did that even matter when the city was under attack? Her imagination took her through each room and corridor. The office she’d only been in a few times, the dining room that could seat a dozen but never saw more than two, and of course, her bedroom. Soot still on the ceiling, dance slippers tucked hastily under the bed. The soldiers mentioned bombs and fire. What if the mansion was destroyed? The image of fallen walls, a pile of rubble and ash, arrived in her mind. A bittersweet sort of pain burned in her chest as she pondered such a possibility. That mansion was her prison, her gilded cage. And yet there were happy memories there. There were times when she smiled, dancing around her room or strolling through the garden. She found joy in that wretched place and thus made it slightly less wretched. The delicate China in the sitting room was beautiful, with hand-painted birds and flowers under the faintly cracked glaze. The furniture was soft, velvet or leather or brocade, but always unreasonably comfortable. And of course the magnolias. Those fragrant blossoms could distract her from everything bad. A lovely part of being human, isn’t it? The ability to be distracted, to find small joys, even trapped in a cage. She pondered all the things she loved in that house. The drapes and the garden and smooth feeling of the banister beneath her fingers as she walked down the stairs, all things she missed now. Was it bad that she missed it? Was that terrible, to think somewhat fondly of her time in the mansion? A part of her was sure that it was simply horrible. Mr. Indigo was a dangerous, horrible man, and thus his home was the same way. But he also gave her dancing slippers. He cared for her in his twisted, infantalising way. Johanna’s words sounded in her head. Perhaps, in a strange interpretation of the word, he loved her. Sylke couldn’t bring herself to fully accept that idea. Love was the tenderness she saw in Finnick’s eyes, it was the warmth in her chest when they were close, she was entirely and unequivocally sure of that. But as time went on, she continued to wonder, her mind volleying standpoints, if Mr. Indigo’s bizarre affection was also love.

Such thoughts bounced around the back of her head as she tended to those in the infirmary. Days slowly bled into one another, all monotonous and practically identical. She would wake up alone, eat with some of the other medics, and then go to the infirmary. After a long day, she would return to her quarters and lie on her side, reaching her arm out to where Finnick would have been lying beside her. And when the foggy darkness of sleep arrived, the day would begin again.

News from the capitol came every night. The whole of thirteen would go quiet the watching broadcasts. Just a day after they deemed Peeta well enough to join the “Star Squad” in the Capitol, that infamous anthem blared from the broadcast. The faces of every member of the squad was shown. Sylke had been working when it came on the screens. All faces looked to the screen in the room, stepping away from their work for a moment. She froze when she saw Finnick’s portrait appear. She hadn’t seen his face is so long, too long, but this was not the way she wanted to see him again. He couldn’t be dead, he promised. Why, after all this time, why now? After all the trials they encountered and survive, how could it end? Something was wrong, it was simply wrong. Fate wasn’t supposed to be like this, fate couldn’t be like this.

You said you would come back to me

Her perception of the world was cloudy. The hands on her shoulder, the steps she was taking, they didn’t register. Voices were muddled, nothing felt real. All she could do was mutter his name, repeat the same phrases, praying that someone would hear her, some great puppet master who could pull the strings of fate and make them right again. Her murmurs became sobs, and when her eyes were dry, when her energy was drained, she could finally sleep.

She woke to a sharp voice and someone shaking her awake.

“Sylke, get up!”

She pulled herself up, groggy and confused. For a moment, it was just like any other morning, and she almost bolted up, afraid of being late for the start of her shift. But then her vision cleared, and reality set in. She saw the medic uniform she was still wearing and the sad look on Johanna’s face.

“What happened?”

Johanna’s tone was careful and sympathetic.

“You kinda lost it after the broadcast. Don’t worry, you didn’t hurt anyone or do anything bad, you just kinda froze. We didn’t know what else to do, so we just took you here to rest.”

Sylke nodded, not quite sure if she could bring herself to stand up and start her day, as though nothing happened.

“What time is it?”

“I don’t even know. But they’re calling all the medics right now, so…”

Sylke didn’t move.

“They’re flying you guys out to the capitol.”

She still didn’t move.

“Sylke, that means you need to go.”

“I know… I just…”

Johanna placed her hands on Sylke’s shoulders and looked her square in the eyes.

“Look. I know you’re hurting. I know you just lost someone. It’s not the same but I lost him too. But Sylke we’re so close. And people are hurting in the capitol that don’t need to be. We need you to go out and help them.”

Sylke took a shaky inhale and nodded. With Johanna’s help, she made her way down to the hanger where medics were streaming into jets and strapping into their seats. Sylke followed suit, getting her jet assignment and sitting down on a cold metal chair.

The flight was a blur. They landed in district two and waited until the final stages of the battle to fly into the capitol to help innocent citizens. Soon, they were flown in and dropped off in the city circle. When the cries of countless people reached her ears, helping them became Sylke’s sole priority. The moment her feet touched the ground, she rushed to anyone and everyone that looked hurt.

“Are you hurt? Are you alright?”

“Where does it hurt? Are you bleeding?”

“Let me take a look.”

She was wrapping a splint for a woman with a broken leg when a familiar chime rang through the air. She looked up to see grey canisters on parachutes floating down from the sky. She froze again, remembering everything from years ago. She remembered the way Finnick’s eyes lit up when he saw a trident float down on an identical grey parachute. That had always been a sweet memory, but now it was laced with pain. She looked around, seeing the people stretching their arms out, welcoming the gifts. There was a flash, a boom, and then quiet.

Sylke’s eyes slowly fluttered open. She was lying on her back, on something soft and comfortable. There was quiet. A peaceful, calming sort of silence surrounded her. She noticed pain on her skin when she tried to get up. Her body was bandaged in random places, and the flesh of her arms and hands felt incredibly sensitive. Her body was sore, but she could move, albeit only slightly. She turned her head to look at her surroundings. She was in a tent, seemingly a medical tent, surrounded by equipment and kits she recognised as the portable medic kits that each person on the jet had been equipped with. Turning her head to look directly to the side, she saw someone lying in a bed like her own. They looked like him. Beneath the bandages she saw his face, sleeping peacefully with his eyes closed. She longed to believe that it was him, to enjoy that delusion and ignorance. But she knew it wasn’t. She knew he was gone. He wasn’t there, no matter how much she wanted him to be, no matter how much he should have been. Tears formed and fell quickly from her eyes. Quiet wails and sobs escaped her. She murmured his name, hoping beyond hope that it would will him back to life. The person in the bed began to rouse.

“Hmm?”

They sounded like him too, why did they have to sound like him? She curled into herself, ignoring the pain in such movement. She hid herself beneath the blanket, like a child afraid of the monsters beneath their bed.

“Hey, are you alright?”

That was his voice.

“Why do you sound like him?”

She wailed with a volume she hadn’t used in days.

“Sylke?”

“You sound just like him…”

Her whole body shook with sobs. She heard fabric rustling and quiet groans that sounded so familiar. There was a hand on the edge of the blanket.

“Can I…?”

“Go ahead.”

Her voice was dejected, entirely hopeless. The blanket was pulled away, revealing a face with cuts and bandages, seemingly some stitches as well, and sea green eyes holding a tender gaze.

“You look like him too.”

“Angel… I’m right here.”

“No you’re not! You died! I saw your picture, I heard the song, you died!”

“Oh sweetheart…”

The person sat down on the bed and gently lifted her to sit up as well. They then pulled her into their arms. That warmth was exactly the same.

“I’m right here, I’m alive. I got damn near dying, but I didn’t. I told you I’d come back to you, didn’t I?”

Finally, she let herself believe. Her grasp on him tightened.

“You’re alive? You’re safe?”

“I’m alive. I’m right here, Angel.”

A part of her still couldn’t believe it. Somehow, there was a shard of pessimism in her that refused to be tricked. And he could sense that. He understood all too well the spirit of self preservation that will do anything to keep itself from hurting. So he pulled away slightly to look at her.

“Hey, look at me, look at my eyes.”

She gazed up at him with scared, teary doe-eyes.

“Don’t you believe in fate?”

And with that, the last bit of denial shattered within her. A smile and then a laugh came to her face as hope returned to her spirit.

Taglist: @zulpix-blog

[brilliant-red-eternity]

[Psycho-Pass Providence spoilers]

I thought long and hard about sharing spoilers with you on my blog, but here they are: a buffet for Shinkane fans! I can’t guarantee that the spoilers are 100% correct since I haven’t seen the movie myself and translations can be messy, but I try my best – feel free to correct me, to add things or to call me a crackpot and liar!

I had a feeling that many of you would like to know (at least to some extent) what this movie is about and if Shinkane becomes canon. It will probably take some time for PPP to be released outside Japan and as we all know, patience is a virtue. Don’t read if you don’t want spoilers. I’m serious! There are major spoilers in this text! But if you don’t mind, here’s a summary of what I picked up from Japanese fans who have already seen the movie:

1. The first meeting with Unit One after Ko’s return goes as expected: Ginoza is angry and Sugo has to prevent him from going off on Kogami. The atmosphere between Akane and Kogami is described as awkward and tense even when working together on the new case. They travel to Dejima (?) and Saiga accompanies Akane because he’s the only one who can access the Stronskaya document.

2. When Kogami and Saiga have a drink in the apartment/hotel, Saiga urges Ko to contact Akane and to come clean with her. He obeys by calling her. Akane tells him to apologize (“I just want you to say sorry”) but he doesn’t, so she hangs up the phone. Kogami seems to be very irritated and I can’t wait to see his face. Also what is the meaning of the empty liquor bottle on Ko’s table?

3. Ginoza asks Kogami on the boat “Why did you come back? It was our duty to protect Tsunemori” to which Kogami answers something like “For someone else’s sake again.” Does it mean that he came back for Akane? I think so. Ginoza seems to smile a little when he hears this.

4. We already saw the scene where Ko shields Akane from the explosion, but I don’t know exactly what happens afterwards. They say the angle of view is a little erotic (this can also be translated as horny, obscene) LOL

5. When the Peacebreakers attack, Saiga-sensei dies. I think he gets stabbed and then falls over a railing into the depths of the building. Akane tries to save him but he lets go of her hand so that she doesn’t fall with him. Phew! This is going to be hard to watch. No wonder why the Japanese fans cried! When Akane finds his dead body, the one who comforts her is Ginoza. Ko goes after Akira to fight him in a landscape holo room (?) aka that scene with the horse.

6. Now the elevator scene. Akane cries over the death of Saiga but Kogami seems unable to comfort her. Something holds him back (his own grief maybe?) so he just pats her on the shoulder saying something like “Focus on your duty, and cry after everything is over” and Akane says “Yes”. It sounds a bit heartless and reserved, doesn’t it? Why all the drama?

7. Then there’s an interrogation at SAD or PSB headquarters and Kogami gets shot by the arrested Akira whose consciousness was hacked. Ko ends up in the hospital where Akane visits him and finally they talk to each other and come to an agreement. This is very reminiscent of PP1.

8. I was a bit surprised to hear that Akane is invited to Kei’s wedding and that Arata’s dad commits suicide in his car after giving a speech. Really? On the wedding day of his son’s best friend? Did Arata witness this? Holy sh--! At least, I read that Akane followed Arata into the parking lot and perhaps was able to comfort him.

9. Akane leads the operation to stop the Peacebreakers. Before she leaves (gets on the plane?) Kogami is worried and says “Hey, don’t do anything reckless” and she replies “I can’t promise you that, so you better come quickly please.” Is she flirting with him? I think it’s cute and quite self-confident.

10. When Akane is defeated in the fight against the white haired man who points a gun to her head, Kogami rushes to her aid. The plan was to arrest the guy but things went out of hand. Kogami shoots him and then he hugs the injured Akane – yes, that’s what it says in the comments! I can’t wait to see this! I read that Akane says something like “I made Kougami-san kill again” to which he answers “And I will be held accountable for it”. The hug seems to have been a request from director Shiotani, because (as we already know) Akane and Ko won’t see each other for a long time after that.

11. The end is a bit confusing and I’m not sure if I got it right: Kogami is arrested and Akane writes him a letter that is just as emotional as Ko’s letter in PP1. She says that he had a great influence on her life and that she can’t promise him anything. Then she goes off to kill chief Kasei during some public event (?) because Sibyl wants to introduce a new bill that would strip the Ministry of Justice of all authority (?). Akane’s crime coefficient is low because you can’t kill a cyborg. But from the public’s perspective, she’s a killer. She seems to sacrifice herself for the dream of a just society that abides by the law instead of Sibyl’s despotism. Now Sibyl has to judge her. They have to reveal and explain her low CC without looking like idiots. Good luck, Sibyl! Akane seems to have set a precedent in PPP.

12. Kogami goes free and Akane is sent to the isolation facility where she finally breaks down and cries. He promises to pick her up when she is released – and so he does in FI when he finally manages to apologize! Some fans say that even though Kogami’s crimes aren’t punished by law it’s clear from his emotions that Akane’s imprisonment is his punishment. His actions had an impact on others, especially on someone he cherishes and loves. But unlike Kogami who killed out of revenge and violated the law, Akane has committed a crime in order to uphold the law. The Japanese fans cried at the end. Kogami must look pretty miserable! Seems as if Shinkane has a habit of breaking each other’s hearts and ours too, huh? But we know they will reunite in FI, so there’s hope! And who knows what the future holds.

Well, the movie covers many issues: foreign politics, references from the bible, Bifrost, new technology and AI, lots of action and so on. It’s quite exhausting to do research in Japanese as a beginner, so I only focused on the things I wanted to know. In other words: Akane, Kogami, Ginoza and Shinkane! I can’t wait for this movie to be released in my country, although I think it will probably be another year :’(

One last thing: speculations about the nature of the relationship between Akane and Kogami are running wild on social media again but all I can say is that if only a mere 20% of the above is true, then you can’t speak of platonic. Sorry, it’s not possible! There are far too many emotions, far too much awkwardness here that you don’t go through as “just friends”. They’re not a couple, but both of them are probably aware that they could become one if they chose to.

[tellmegoodbye]

Tag Game: Grief

Thank you @lonestar-s5countdown for the questions and thank you @bonheur-cafe @strandnreyes @literateowl @reyesstrand and @decafdino for tagging me!

---

(1) Which character death in 911 Lone Star hit you the hardest?

In terms of shock and the events in the aftermath, it had to be Gabriel. Watching Carlos break down the way he did, seeing how differently he dealt with his grief compared to the way TK shut down after Gwyn's death, it had me crying until the very end.

However, I think I cried the most after Charles' death. One Day is one of those episodes I always come back to because it's just guaranteed to make me cry. Seeing Tommy hold it together all episode only to finally break down in the end? Seeing the way Grace and Judd fall apart when they put the pieces together while watching Tommy's kids? I don't think any character death is topping the way this one broke me.

(2) What is your favorite grief-related moment in the show?

There's so many! Tommy's grief group. Owen and Andrea talking about Gwyn and Gabriel before the wedding, even if that was a deleted scene. Everyone dealing with their grief surrounding Tim's death in their own way in 2x02. Tommy finally breaking down in 2x13. Owen's talk with Carlos about obsession.

My favorite probably has to be Owen's dream in 3x18. He's been carrying around so much guilt and trauma up until that point and it's been eating him alive, but he was finally able to see that continuing to hold onto that guilt isn't helping him. It's hurting him. In a way, he was finally able to let go of a lot of things (his brother's death, his family falling apart, 9/11, the mistakes he made with TK, Gwyn's death, etc) which is one of the hardest steps to take in the grief process. It doesn't mean he'll forget, it just means he can move forward and live with a little more peace in his heart.

(3) Do you think there will be a character death in season 5? If so, any guesses about who it might be?

If there is, I don't think it would be any of the main characters. A minor character death can be impactful in many different ways though, and I wouldn't put it past lone star to kill off someone we would least expect, so we'll see!

(4) Which living character's death would destroy you the most?

Probably Owen. I say that because killing off TK or Carlos is just not an option and I think we're all in agreement that they're off limits. Owen's death would make a lot of sense at some point down the line. After he's finally found the peace he's been looking for and gets to see his son thrive in his job and with his soulmate. Once Owen has nothing left to worry about, killing him off would make a lot of sense and still be devastatingly tragic at the same time.

(5) Which character's childhood trauma do you think was most significant in shaping them?

All of these characters have such unique backgrounds that it's kind of hard to try and compare traumas (and that's not something I like to do) so instead I'm going to say in terms of time, it would be Owen. His trauma has been accumulating longer than most of the rest of these characters have been alive, and the longer you live with something without properly dealing with it, the more it will bring you down. You could also say Judd because like Owen, he has a lot of childhood guilt and trauma as well as some recent trauma. It makes sense why these two ended up being such close friends. They understand each other in that sense.

---

Open tag because a lot of people have done this already!

[iguessitsjustme]

I was tagged by @my-rose-tinted-glasses, @troubled-mind, and @littleragondin and I finally have a chance to do this (cries in introvert forced to be social)

RULES: put 5 songs you actually listen to, then tag 10 people.

I listen to approximately a million songs all of the time. I always have music playing if I'm not working or watching something and I have talked nonstop about many songs already here so I tried to choose songs I haven't mentioned yet.

Laugh About It - Remember Monday

Quite literally been obsessed with this song lately. Also this music video doesn't make me feel gay at all. Nope. Definitely not. I am looking respectfully. Completely. But also I genuinely love the song. These girls have gorgeous harmonies and the whole song is about being petty so of course I love it.

2. Sinner - Leadley

I bet you thought I was gonna put the other Sinner here considering how often I mention it and that I made a video edit using it. But nope. This song is just...a bop. At least for me. There was a time in my life I listened to this at least once a day.

3. She - dodie

This song was probably the catalyst for me to start...questioning things. Anyway it's gorgeous and calming. Actually dodie is one of my favorite artists and I don't mention her nearly enough. I especially like listening to her when I'm traveling because her calming voice and soft melodies help me keep my travel anxiety in check.

4. Pegadito - Tommy Torres

This song scratches my brain perfectly. Also nothing like listening to songs in Spanish to remind me that I need to brush up on my Spanish because I now suck at it and I am very angry at myself for that. But also this song is just...I love it.

5. HAN "외계인 (Alien)

Would I be able to leave Stray Kids off this list? Of course not. I mean, I'm mentioning songs I haven't mentioned before, not bands. Anyway believe it or not, my favorite of their albums is skz-replay and this is just the first song I saw when I was trying to choose. My favorite by Han is actually Wish You Back, but this is a very close second. It hits just right for me. Can't explain it. Also Han is just an extremely talented person and it both baffles me and impresses me. I genuinely believe he might be one of the most talented people on the planet. At least musically. And definitely works very hard for it as well. I'm getting sidetracked.

Tagging @heretherebedork because I told you I was going to and I want to see what 5 songs you end up choosing :P

I am also tagging anyone who has not done this and wants to but maybe hasn't been tagged yet. It's been a minute so I don't remember everyone who's done it and who's been tagged. But if you do this please, please, please, tag me so I can see your song recs. And also potentially scream at you about music.

[aromantic-diaries]

That stuff about "these two people are close, they're secretly in love"? That shit doesn't just happen to famous people or anything like that, this stuff actively happens all around. I had this classmate of mine, right? And we were on this school trip together where we would spend 5 nights on an island. Pretty neat graduation trip.

Well, it was pretty neat until the FINAL DAY of the trip where everyone ended up making a little circle to spread gossip, and guess what the gossip was about? That classmate of mine. And it was that she was "secretly in love with her friend"

The things that were said were just ACTUALLY VILE. Not only because what they were was outrageous, but because she was already dating a boy. And her friend, who she was friends with ever since childhood, was also dating a girl by the way.

They said stuff about how they both were sleeping in the same room on the trip sometimes, about how they trusted each other and were ""touchy"", about him carrying her bag for her when she went to the bathroom in the show. They started even saying stuff "Poor girl, she probably doesn't even realize she's in love".

I was appalled. And I voiced it, too. This isn't how you talk about your classmate, they're just friends. None of what you said was evidence of ANYTHING. But I was shut down from saying anything else because "You've never been in a relationship, you wouldn't know like we do". Now this... this made my blood boil. Not only for me, but for my classmate.

I then left the circle that they formed on the other side of the room and pretended to take out my phone and mess with it, but I was secretly just recording the stuff they were saying. When they eventually left, I was freaking out because "How the fuck do I even show this to her? What if they ostracize me from the group after they make up with each other?"

I eventually figured that the right thing would be to show this to her and her friend. They were my classmates too, after all. This is just unfair. And it's the last day we, as a class, are going to be spending together... so what could go wrong, really?

The friend of hers was on the bathroom inside of the room at the time when she, by some miracle, came in to get him and knocked on the bathroom door. I just went up and locked the room to not have anyone else come in while we talked. I explained to her the things they were saying, and said I would send her more stuff and explain more clearly through messages.

Worst part after this was that the trip organizers were doing a presentation right afterwards where you had to hug every classmate of yours as a goodbye... and uh... that was awkward. And she cried during that, too. It was too fucking sad to watch.

After that, I went to my room to wait until further things happened... which was fated to happen at that point.

I was called my other classmate, one of two, who burst into the room and said that we had stuff to talk about in the girl's room. Well, she gave a wallop to everyone that participated in the circle, to say the least. "How DARE you talk like that about your classmate?! On the LAST day of the trip, the last time we're going to see each other??? She's just begun dating the guy, it's her first relationship and you do this to her?"

Well... eventually, everyone who participated in the circle either left to get pissy about it while everyone else [like, 2 of the boys in the circle of the three I was sleeping with] apologized for not standing up for what was happening. We ended up talking about how much had happened in our time during school, what we were going to do after graduating, etc.

It was actually rather pleasant, at the end of the day. We stayed up until 4 AM talking about stuff, getting drunk, laughing. Comforting the girl about what had happened until she slept.

Uh... where was I going with this?

Amatonormativity, specifically about who you're ALLOWED to be close with, sucks - is what I'm trying to say. But when people group up and stand up against it? That's the best thing that can happen, and what we should strive for.

But... like, I also wonder... if they weren't already dating other people, would it have been the same? How many friendship are drifted apart just because people think you're "perfect for each other" or "too close with one another"? That part still troubles me, but I'm glad it was a happy ending.

I totally get it. I wasn't saying it only happens to famous people, I was just bringing it up as a very prominent example of something I noticed. It happened to me and my best friend, people we knew started assuming we were dating cause we click really well and hang out a lot. Overall I just think it's really weird when people insist they know better about the nature of two people's relationship. How it looks from an outside perspective is irrelevant

[dansfakeveto]

i, like many of you, have been watching big brother my entire life and always planned to apply to the show throughout my childhood/teen years. now, 5 days away from my 24th birthday, i’d like to share a (non-exhaustive) list of reasons why i could never be on big brother:

1. i would not pass the psych evaluation

2. i went to the jersey shore over a weekend last month and missed my cats so much i cried

3. i have to take medication to sleep, and would have to take those meds by a certain time for the 8/9am wake up call and would miss almost all late night gaming

4. conversely, i cannot sleep in the dark, even with the meds (i literally don’t have an explanation and neither does my shrink)

5. i shit 2 times a day minimum so the bathroom situation freaks me out

6. those meds that i mentioned earlier? i can’t regulate my body temp easily cause of them. if its freezing in the house but 90° outside id have a panic attack from the stress alone

7. i pee 2-3 times an hour (i’ve told my doctor and she said drink less fluids but it doesn’t help)

8. honestly i probably wouldn’t pass a physical evaluation either

9. i don’t have enough clothes and am not bothered to buy any. i wear band t shirts mostly

10. i would forget the no singing rule so often it would probably result in expulsion

11. i talk too loud and also won’t be able to hear people when they whisper

12. i don’t know if id be able to stop myself from saying the word cunt at least 3 times

13. my face has no filter, i cannot hide my facial expressions they just be coming out

14. i would probably be giving crazy eyes in the dr idk

15. i would target someone for eviction for snoring

[alectricblue]

Saw this tag game on another post and thought I'd do it (idk if I've done it before, maybe something similar, but my answers will be different anyway)

1. Were you named after anyone?

Nope My chosen name (Allister) however, is from a youtuber who has a very cool name and I stole it (Alasdair Beckett-King, very funny videos and he has great hair too). I adapted it a bit so people in Spain would at least have an idea of how to pronounce it at first glance (hopefully) It has nothing to do with any Crowley (which I did not realize was a thing until recently), tho for a bit I named myself AJ like Good Omens Crowley, but I don't like how it sounds in Spanish...

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last month probably

3. Do you have kids?

No. And I don't want any. I don't dislike them, but it's not for me

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Judo, karate and football (the indoors kind). All as a kid/teen. Now my brother and I walk every week day and go up and down stairs (when we remember...) One day I want to try to go to a gym to get some muscle, but not too much, just a bit of definition. Also, I'd enjoy doing rock climbing, but not competitive climbing or anything like that

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sometimes

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Irl: the way they move their face and hands when they speak, which then I subconsciously use to recognize people, bc I'm a bit face blind Online: the way they choose to express themselves

7. What's your eye color?

Gray/light blue on the outside and artichoke green/lime on the inside

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both, but I'd rather watch a happy ending. For scary things I prefer to watch Markiplier's scary games videos

9. Any talents?

I'm VERY good at jigsaw puzzles

10. Where were you born?

East of Spain, by some of the best Mediterranean coasts 😁. I enjoy it here, but one day I'd like to live in the UK, at least for a bit, I think I'd like it there

11. What are your hobbies?

Listening to music, singing, making art (crafting, building, drawing, painting, writing, ...), watching media (shows, panel shows, youtube, twitch), video games (rhythm/dancing, platformer, puzzle... Also minecraft, powerwash sim, potion craft...), going for walks, exercise, learning languages (especially English) If I had any good ones close, I'd go to theatres and museums too. And, if I had money, I'd travel. I'm also slowly learning about taking care of plants

12. Do you have any pets?

Not yet. I'd love to have dogs, cats, frogs, snakes... or anything really. I love animals. But I think cats and frogs would be the best fit for me, considering my personality and current lifestyle I've always wanted a dog, but I've only had a turtle and a hamster

13. How tall are you?

1.63m or 5’3”

14. Favorite subject in school?

Biology and technology

15. Dream job?

Anything that pays me enough to be independent and let me do all my hobbies Although, if I ever have the patience, base skill, and required mental fortitude, I'd go for general robotics and/or prop making (for film and/or theatre)

No pressure tags in no particular order (I tried to tag as many people as I could, but apparently there's a tag limit 😅):

@swamp-communism @they-thespian666 @strongsuits @skelesona @shinekittenace @yeetmewithachainsaw @rockium-z @gordonzola-ramen @vampireopossum @libraryfag @frostytheduck @tetostar @xyrnys @normalscientist @dolltwink @anxi0usgh0st05 @piersgender

@mettatonsass @sinfulauthor @flaretheidiot @sneebles-mcgee @pivotallemonade @aroace-genderfluid-snake @monstrousmaws @satanic-leaf @virtualunease @villowrose @handrazedsun @ceiltheoutcast @atroph1k @entropy-sea-system @abby-cat99928 @maroroque @galaxgay

@realyfroggyfrog @angrysheep @llamaflower @ultrabean @sea-salt-sky @queerestqueertoeverqueer @crowleys-queen @foolishlovers @cassieno @crowleys-hips @argylepiratewd @trianglebird4 @sugarplumanderson @underlilithswings21 @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @healingmyinnerteen

and anyone else that sees this, consider yourself tagged!