#I realized that there really wasn't the best evidence for this idea of him saving himself. there's more evidence to COUNTER that.

[dootznbootz]

I feel kind of bad about that post I made talking about how Odysseus would never sacrifice his family to save his own skin while I didn't give a name, I hope that person doesn't feel bad or that they get hate. As I don't want to gatekeep someone's interpretation of the Odyssey but also...while I guess you could claim that he would do that, there's so much MORE evidence as to how he would literally rather be stabbed than see his wife and son have even a splinter

Her rejecting him at first put him in a bad position. Honestly, in an alternate universe, where she didn't accept him or trick him that night, I think the poor guy would've cried himself to sleep again in that separate cot. He'd probably cry to Athena and ask if he did something wrong.

It would probably be an "awkward morning" of Odysseus and Penelope silently doing their things (not bringing up suitors' parents right now. And Odysseus would probably tell Telemachus to not say anything stupid.) and eventually, everything would bubble up out of Odysseus and honestly, I could see him straight up begging her to accept him. Not even caring about how he appeared to others.

Honestly, if she DID take a lover in that time...I think he'd either accept it and just...wander? Around Ithaca as a beggar as he doesn't want to be away from them but if they won't accept him, what else can he do? OR if she had another lover, (War flashback of the shitty retelling where Penelope has an affair) he'd probably kill the lover as let's be honest, Odysseus is basically a Yandere, to put it simply. Touch the wife, you get the knife.

And yeah, he doesn't JUST want his family.

"Oh, he wants to not be in constant danger."

"He just wants to go back to Ithaca."

"He wants to be king again."

Boy howdy, he sure does!!! But if, for example, Penelope and Telemachus for some reason moved to somewhere else? IDK, AU where they permanently moved to Sparta, hanging with Helen and Menelaus, and she didn't remarry or something. He'd be like "Shit, okay, BRB." And go to them. He'd probably have them all go back to Ithaca but still, THEY ARE HIS HOME. They make Ithaca home. Any place is home as long as he has them.

Despite having the opportunity to wed the most beautiful woman in the world, he took the Oath so then he could marry Penelope. And even then, it wasn't "for sure" as he had to race her dad. He did so much simply to have the CHANCE to marry her even though he probably wasn't planning on getting married as he brought no gifts. And he did so much so then he wouldn't have to leave the life they had built together and their young baby.

He could've had ANYONE. Went ANYWHERE. Did ANYTHING and he still wanted THEM.

Like??? Holy shit. This guy would do ANYTHING for them. I mean that's kind of why he's considered to be so "scummy" in how ride or die he is for them and basically a bitch to everyone else. That's what makes him SO different from many of his peers.

Person: Would you rather have your family- Odysseus: Family, always. Person: I didn't even say it yet- Odysseus: I don't fucking care. Always family. Person: Even if it meant you got immortality and a hot goddess for a wife? Odysseus: You act like that's a good thing? That was literally torture. Fuck you. I already have a hot Water Wife™ that I get the privilege to drown in every day. She gave me a wonderful Water Son™ who is the light of my eyes and who I am more proud to be the father of than I am of being the son of an Argonaut Person: Even if I give you a million dollars? Odysseus, acting nonchalant while Penelope picks the person's pockets: As if we can't get that on our own. Person: You'd die? Odysseus: I'll set myself on fire if I have to. Person: ...Okay, new question. Would you rather lose your family- Odysseus: The other option. Always. Person: Even torture? Odysseus: I never said I would like it, just that I would do it. Person: Even yeet a baby?! Odysseus: I'll punt the baby if I have to. It's not like I wanna but I gotta do what I gotta do.

And so on and so forth. You GET IT.

[tyttamarzh]

Midnight Ramblings about Missa (Or "character analysis focused on his seeking approval and how this influences his self-perception and in his performance") (Or "My boy just needs confidence and time to show how chingón he is.")

I have a thought… okay, okay, yes, Missa is a wet cat and he can't escape of that… but I think everyone underrate the ability of him for learn and improve…

When all came to the island, no one have nothing and everyone seems at the same level in general. For Missa was hard, but he adapted to life, he build a house, had an armor, went to mines and dungeons with his friends and even when others helped him, he always tried to make it on his own and search his own purpose. Everyday he gain more expierence and confidence and lost the fear to go out alone, he could fight for himself, he could survive. Then, when everyone was paired up to take care of the eggs and he met Phil, he tried his best for being useful, for help him.

He always does that, but this time he had just met him and he wanted to do his best to make a good impression on this new person in his life.

He had already done it before, that has a context, when he met the "Team Vacio Legal" (and was adopted), at first he was not considered part of the team, they treated him like an assistant, they called him his pet and they even told him that they would use him as bait, but Missa was so grateful to be with them, that he accepted all their orders willingly and strove to do the best for them (They were not just any team, it was the one that was considered the strongest and favorite to win, in fact, the winner was a member of this team). I remember that they ordered him to build a temporary house if he wanted to stay and at that moment he began to build non-stop, and he was doing it very fast, he was very concentrated on it, then Rubius, to annoy him, stand right where he was going to put a block and Missa stood paralyzed, neither of them said anything for a few seconds, until Missa, quite anxious, said: " Please, please, I'm just trying to do a good job…" and at that Rubius gave up the idea of joking with him and simply looked at him and said "You're doing very well" and moved, to which Missa He laughed and continued working until he finished. His dedication made everyone quickly become attached to him and at some point the line between being everyone's servant and being everyone's protected faded (even the 4 of them risked their lives to go save Missa's dog from acid rain), he went from not being considered part of the team to being the most loved by all of them, so much so that his death devastated them and they continued using his name as a banner until the end (ohh I really loved Extremo, sorry xD).

Even if Missa knows that he is not good at many things, he gives everything, he strives, learns and grows, to continue giving everything for those he loves, that is how he died in Extremo, helping Quackity (although Quackity did not even realize until later).

The point is, being with Phil, he helped in any way he could, he fought against the phantoms so that Phil could continue working and in fact he must have felt very good when the mission was "sing a song to the baby" because finally one of his abilities It would be necessary and useful.

Phil never had a problem with Missa in Chayanne's care. Missa was constantly striving to be competent and they didn't really spend enough time together for Phil to realize what Missa's level really was. The problem began when he was gone for so long, because everyone's level increased at the same time as the difficulty of the world, which made Missa's lack of experience very evident. And it wasn't just because he was poor and didn't have the resources to defend himself, as Phil thought at first, Missa missed out on a lot of growth and learning about Minecraft that he could have had if he had stayed on the server. Though he tries now, he doesn't He manages to cope with the current world, which made him tremendously insecure about his abilities, which is why on many occasions he no longer try and just lets himself die. Making it very obvious to everyone, even Phil, that he can't survive alone, since he's just a little wet cat.

There is something that I miss a lot about the dynamic he had with Spreen, you see, I know that many who watch QSMP did not know what their relationship was like and do not know why he is so important to Missa, but it is because Spreen never doubted Missa's abilities, even when no one, not even Missa, trusted his abilities, Spreen always trusted, he once bet on a fight that Missa had, even when Missa said she had no idea about PVP, he bet on him and to everyone's amazement, won and was like "I knew you could." Missa always tried hard to do things and get praise from Spreen, he saw him as a father he wanted to make proud and he jumped with happiness like a child when he achieved it and that's how he grew up a lot (Having the player who is considered one of the best treat you that way and praise you must be an incredible feeling).

Losing his brother not only affected him emotionally, it affected him in the sense that he lost that and that's why his self-confidence went down the drain, because when he fails he no longer hears the "calm down, you'll make it next time, champion" now he listens "Be careful, it's dangerous" "Stay away" and he is simply saved and protected by others.

I'm not saying that Phil is wrong to help him, but that made him somewhat dependent and added to his frustration at not being able to face the world alone, it made him feel like a burden to everyone (the fact that he doesn't log on doesn't help him). Somehow that made him have a kind of regression and he went back to being the fearful boy who needs to be taken care of, it's not even like in the early days of QSMP, it's like in the early days of Extremo, considering himself completely useless and stupid, struggling to try to do things right and receive some approval, but getting frustrated at not achieving it (which is why what Tina did in purgatory helped him a lot "Tina, better therapist than Melissa" xD).

Now… let's go to the present, because I saw something very different in Missa the last time. What happened in purgatory perhaps gave him more growth than we thought, not only on an emotional level by helping him decide to stay with Phil despite not feeling enough, but on a personal level. He said to Chayanne he had been working to be a better person (better player) and wanted to show what he had learned (now seeking Chayanne's approval), somehow he found that motivation again to grow and not just lamenting his situation (that implies that CC Missa he was really practicing. My friends, he didn't even do that for the squid games, he finished installing Minecraft and jumped into the water), that gives me hope that this time he is serious about stay and if he has enough time and if this time he really delivers with his promise to log on more we could see him grow and bring out his full potential (in Extremo 2 he was doing a great job until he died suddenly and became fearful again, in purgatory he was doing things well until he realized he had the wrong missions and felt sad and useless… he can do great, his ruin it is that he sabotages himself by his lack of confidence).

Possibly he will never stop being a wet cat, that is tattooed in his character, but I think that is precisely why everyone tends to underestimate him. I am sure that one day my boy is going to give everyone a big surprise… I believe!

I think my little late night thought turned into an analysis and then a Tesis, sorry about that… I hope someone finds my ramblings entertaining…

Thank you for reading!

[etsuven]

rating: fluff cw: small spoilers for scara's weapon includes: sort of a creator au, me subtly putting in my small hatred for the widsith as i literally get it every other four star pull i swear i have like 8 of them summary: after saving for so long, you were finally able to spoil the person you were waiting for...

note: HIIII! it's been a little bit since my last posttt! i wasn't kidding when i said i was lowkey becoming obsessed with scara. i had this idea in my head for a few days now and i've just now gotten to writing this. also i'm not using his namecard until he releases because it's kind of a spoiler and even i haven't even looked at it yet. btw, are you guys going to call scara by his original name or wanderer? i'm planning on just going with scara as that's just what i'm used to- uhhh i'm rambling now onto the fic!!!

one ten pull. two ten pulls. yet another widsith in another pull.

you sighed softly, looking at the countless intertwined fates in your hands. you weren't too worried about not getting scaramouche, or 'wanderer' as he was called now- as you had been saving up for quite a bit now. closing your eyes, you took in a deep breath, silently pleading for him to finally appear.

grabbing ten of the fates in your hand, you threw them into the air, watching as they disappeared into multicolored particles before reappearing in the sky. the blue streaks zoomed through the sky, racing through the clouds before one finally pulled ahead.

the light it emanated was small at first, before finally erupting into a bright gold light. your heart began to pound in your chest, your foot stepping forward as you watched the light slowly fall to the ground in front of you. the light began to form into a humanoid shape, and your eyes began to widen once you finally realized who it was.

scaramouche.

you watched him open his eyes, only for him to squint when the overwhelming gold light hit him. once it was gone, he opened them once more, his gaze falling on your body. he finally started to connect the dots as he took note of the various pink and blue colored gems in your hand.

'weren't you... the creator?' scaramouche thought. 'the creator of the world he became so accustomed to? why did you summon someone like... him?' never mind that, he had to say something before you noticed his falling façade.

"well, of course the creator would be the one to pull for me!" he spoke, a cocky tone evident in his voice. he placed his fingertips on the brim of his hat, now changed due to the designs the higher ups made for him. "as the best person available, i'm honored to be- wait, why are you looking at me like that?"

your arms were now outstretched, and you had begun walking towards him. scaramouche's 'heart' began to pound in his chest, and he found himself unconsciously stepping backwards. you paused a bit, hesitating slightly as you began to speak.

"can i hug you?"

scara felt his face heat up rapidly, causing him to look away as he feared you would see how red his face had probably gotten. while he was embarrassed, he had to admit that a hug from the creator of all people sounded quite nice... with a small nod, he held his arms out slightly in front of him, flinching a bit as you raced towards him.

your arms snaked around him, pulling him in an embrace he never thought he'd be able to feel. you were warm, really warm, and there was a sort of comforting aura around you that made him want to bury his face in your neck in an attempt to stay there forever (plus you smelled nice, but you wouldn't catch him admitting that out loud.)

you pulled away a few seconds later, keeping your hands on him and breathing in softly as you took him in. he looked even better in front of you than in the pictures, and now that you could finally give him what he deserved...

wait, his materials!

"i've got some stuff for you!" you exclaimed. tossing the fates on the ground, you pulled out a bag from seemingly nowhere, pulling out materials that scara had seen you give to many beforehand. colorful chunks of crystal, multiple stacks of books, and oh so many boss and common enemy materials- just how many had you killed for him?

scara's glanced at all of the materials, feeling slightly overwhelmed. all of those were him? him only? you had done all of this... for him? before he had gotten the chance to speak, you grabbed all the items in your arms, standing in front of him as you tried not to show how much you were struggling.

"close your eyes!" and unable to disobey you (just yet) he closed his eyes. you mumbled a few words, and scara peaked an eye open to see all of the materials rushing into his body. streaks of grey, green, blue, purple, and even a bit of gold rushed into his chest. and even though he hadn't even done anything yet, he began to feel more powerful.

he looked at you in awe, almost wanting to cry at how proud of him you looked. he just couldn't get over the fact that you had done so much for him, even though this was his first time properly meeting you face to face.

"i- thank you, creator..." he spoke softly, averting his gaze out of shyness. he felt your hand go up to his cheek, caressing the adorably chubby flesh with a small smile.

"(y/n) is fine!" you laughed, patting his cheek softly before pulling away. grabbing at your bag. "we'll be partners for a while after this, okay! it'll be weird if you continued to call me 'creator.'"

scara nodded, flushing slightly at the mention of being 'partners.' obviously you didn't mean it in that way, but he couldn't help but let his mind wander. it didn't help that you were quite attractive as well. he slapped at his cheeks. what was he doing, being all sappy like this. he wasn't normally like this, what about you made him change his personality all of a sudden?!

he watched curiously as you pulled a few of those pink and purple gems out of your bag, throwing them into the sky. they disappeared, and blue streaks zipped through the sky, one pulling forward and turning into a purple light. a few weapons fell into your hands, and you huffed angrily at one called "the widsith."

a few more pulls went by, and a frustrated- yet still quite cute- look began to show itself on your face. you threw another handful into the air, and it did the same thing it did on your other wishes, yet this time the furthest ahead fate began to turn into a bright gold color, similar to the one he was enveloped in when he first descended from the sky.

you began to bounce on your toes, holding your hands out as a few weapons began to appear. a few swords, books, a stray debate club or two, when finally a weapon encased in gold fell into your grasp. it was a bell.

holding in your excitement, you closed your eyes, muttering the same words you had said to scaramouche to the weapon. multiple colors began to rush into it, and at some point it had even begun to glow a different color. once it was done, you faced scara.

taking his hand in yours, you gave him the weapon, giving him a sweet smile as you spoke a few words he swore he would never forget.

"welcome home, scara."

[tum-bakery]

Internally fandom brainrotting again about a VERY spesific scenario, and I KNOW I'VE talked about it before but I really wanna again- (A.ce At.torney)

I've had the "Edgeworth Discovers Phoenix is pregant during Farewell, My Turnabout" situation rotating in my brain like a microwave for the past couple days.

I'm more than a lil obsessed with the idea of Edgeworth coming back to the police presinct and Phoenix having the just... worst tjne with all the events of that case alongside the fact he's pregant.

Edgeworth is in shock to see Phoenix, and a little more shocked to realize that Gumshoe left this pretty major detail out of their phone conversations. Phoenix is already frazzled because of the situation surrounding the case, but he looks genuinely broken and almost... angry? Seeing Edgeworth. Edgeworth even tried to reconnect a bit but Phoenix seems distant and deeply upset.

For Phoenix, Maya got kidnapped and is being actively held for ransom, Fanziska is not doing great, Edgeworth is back from the grave and looking over him more critically than a piece of evidence, his client is SURE AS HELL NOT INNOCENT AND PHOENIX IS STRUGGLING WITH THE TAIL END OF A ROUGH PREGNANCY-

He didn't even chose to take this job, and even without Franziska there to call him one- he feels like such a fool.

Throughout the course of the over three day trial period he's having contractions that are only getting closer and closer, but he knows he just needs to finish the case.

He needs to save Maya, and he feels himself getting more and more desperate to do so.

The whole final trial day is a rollercoaster and Phoenix is so overwhelmingly relieved when its all over.

But I can't shake what good drama it would be for Phoenix to not quite get his reunion with Maya, as the court is dismissed and Pheonix is finally forced to deal with the problem that every contraction had been building up to.

The next few hours (maybe even up to a day) is a blur to Phoenix, he felt so emotionally burnt out from the trial and everything surrounding it, and then THIS being the time his baby decides to enter the world is just... so much for him to handle, and nothing quite feels real.

Edgeworth jumps in to help the best he can, considering he's... seriously, perhaps the only sane and uninjured ADULT in the room. Phoenix is dazed and a bit woozy, a terrible trial wasn't exactly a part of his birth plan, and neither was Edgeworth.

Luckily giving birth goes (for the most part) smoothly, Phoenix is resting, Edgeworth has his final little sibling confrontation with Franziska, and once Phoenix wakes up he gets his happy reunion with Maya. Phoenix is almost convinced it all was a bad dream, when Edgeworth returns to check in on him and the fay girls and it hits him that all of that really did happen.

Edgeworth requests a little bit of time alone with Phoenix (bribing Maya with a few dollars to "grab herself a snack from the vending machine, or something.") And they FINALLY get a clear moment to talk to one another about... well everything.

[albentelisa]

Hi i Love really you asks especially the ones about Jim Claire and Blinky

What if Claire was a changeling was the Older Sister of NotErinque

How she falls in Love with Jim and how she hiding being a changeling is up to

Somehow, I have two changeling!Claire asks in my inbox and as they aren't contradicting, let's combine them!

So, as changelings, Claire and NotEnrique aren't related, but they created a sibling-like bond while going through the Janus Order training. Actually, they are extremely close in age by troll terms and no one has an idea which one is older, and they fight back and forth for the 'elder sibling' status (ironically, there's more evidence that it's NotEnrique, but Claire would rather die than admit it).

Claire gets a familiar, when Strickler decides to get more manpower. Claire wasn't his choice as a recruit (as she's too ambitious, independent, and smart for his liking), but Nomura, who went with him (as the new recruit was supposed to be her helper), insisted on Claire. That's why Claire and Strickler's relationship in this AU is extremely strained - as Strickler senses a potentially dangerous rival. On the other hand, Claire is close to Nomura - who is both her fighting master and family-like figure. Claire likes human culture and feels that Nomura is the only one who can understand. Nomura, on the other hand, sees her younger self in Claire.

In this AU Claire gets a crush on Jim first, but she tries her best to hide it because it's forbidden for a changeling to have feelings and because she isn't sure if Jim can ever accept her true nature (and Nomura's pessimistic views that changelings simply cannot be successful in love don't help). Claire likes that Jim is nice and honest, but decides to watch him from the sidelines instead of approaching. Because of that, she is unaware that Jim has a crush on her too.

The amulet's appearance is where everything goes down. Claire notices it before Strickler and realizes what it can possibly imply. That is why she abandons her previous tactic and approaches Jim in an attempt to befriend him. Claire's plan is to steal the amulet from Jim and save him from a highly likely death from Bular's hand (and well, from her point of view, it should be the best outcome for everyone involved). Alas, Strickler learns about Jim's new status too, deciding to approach Jim via Barbara (like in the canon). So, from now on it's a race between Claire and Strickler to get the amulet. Both think it should be easy - and both don't expect Jim to actually take up the mantle.

Mary and Darci (who are still Claire's friends) find her recent attitude odd and decide to investigate. Initially, they think that it's all because of her crush, but somehow they stumble upon too much, discovering the existence of goblins. Claire in her true form saves them but leaves without any explanation. So Mary and Darci know about magical creatures now, but not about Claire's true form (as they have no idea who their savior was).

Strickler decides to recruit another changeling to spy on Claire (as he doesn't trust her now). NotEnrique is picked, but Strickler is unaware of his bond with Claire. So, Claire ends up with an additional ally instead. It's a bright moment for her as she both has no idea what to do with Mary and Darci (she should kill them according to the rules, but she doesn't want that) or with her quickly developing relationship with Jim (as she realizes he actually loves her too). She starts to think about telling Jim everything and switching sides for good.

Much like in the canon, NotEnrique is the one who gets exposed first (though the one who catches him is Toby as Claire and Jim are at the concert then). NotEnrique pretends that Claire is just an unaware human girl, but gives some hints that Strickler may be inhuman (as he is from a separate faction). Jim is upset as he doesn't want to suspect his favorite teacher, but Toby goes to check the lead and ends up exposing Strickler. Enraged, Strickler comes to the dinner at Jim's house and tells Jim about Claire's true nature when Barbara is in the kitchen.

The timing couldn't be worse as Claire actually decided to confess to Jim the next day, but when they meet Jim asks her to take a gaggletack. Jim does it because he refuses to believe Strickler's words and wants to clear Claire's name, but for Claire, it sounds like an accusation. They are interrupted though - as NotEnrique arrives, announcing that goblins attacked Mary and Darci (those two were babysitting him).

Both Jim and Claire rush to help girls, and Jim discovers that his amulet is a fake one (as Strickler switches the real one with a copy like in the canon). Claire realizes she is the only one who can fight and has no other choice but to transform in front of both Jim and her two BFFs. She defeats goblins with ease, but Nomura arrives and attacks Claire. Jim can't help but watch (as he's still shocked from both the reveal and the amulet loss), and Claire is defeated and taken away.

In despair, Jim calls for the amulet one more time and it actually responds this time, but it's too late. Toby, Blinky, Aaarrrgghh, and Draal arrive and learn about everything that happened. NotEnrique, Mary, and Darci all plea Jim to save Claire, but Jim's allies are skeptical if they should help the supposed enemy. Jim himself wavers as he learns from NotEnrique that Claire is willing to betray Bular and that she saved Mary and Darci at some point.

Like in the canon, Strickler contacts Jim and proposes to him a deal - Claire's life in exchange for the amulet. Jim arrives, seemingly alone (but actually with a backup), and the battle begins. Claire is surprised to see that Jim has come, and it only strengthens her resolve to start a new life separately from the Janus Order. Alas, the Bridge is open and Gunmar is close to coming out, so Claire attempts a self-sacrificial attack to kick him back. When the Bridge is closed, she is trapped in the Darklands (Nomura gets sucked too as she tried to drag her student out at the last second).

There is a victory of course, but Jim is devastated. At first, he even thinks about reopening Killahead, but Toby and Blinky stop him (and NotEnrique also adds that his sis didn't risk her life so that Jim wasted her sacrifice).

Jim decides that he needs to become stronger to venture into the Darklands. He talks to previous Trollhunters (who are not happy that he wants to risk so much for an impure) and later learns about the Triumbric stones.

No one in Arcadia is suspicious as Claire is seemingly ok and attends school (it's Otto, posing as her). It drives Jim nuts as he cannot stand the fake (the same goes for Mary and Darci), but people just assume that Jim and Claire have broken up and Mary and Darci have taken Jim's side in that conflict. Steve starts to date fake Claire in an attempt to spite Jim (which has a totally opposite effect).

Strickler awakes Angor (as he fears for his own safety) and comes back to Arcadia. In this AU, Darci is the one who gets the Shadowstaff, while Mary gets one of Angor's daggers. As for Toby, he gets Warhammer before that as he decides to be a better sidekick to Jim.

Aja and Krel come to school around the same time as Strickler returns and the Trollhunters immediately suspect them of being changelings and Strickler's allies. A quick gaggletack check, however, dispels those suspicions (Aja and Krel have no idea what is going on, thinking it's just one of the local traditions).

Mary thinks that Jim should relax a bit (as he still feels guilty because of Claire and recently, there's an added stress from learning that Strickler bonded his life to Barbara's). She suggests going to the swing fling with someone, proposing herself, Darci, and even Aja (as she is friendly to Jim). Jim refuses politely, but this whole conversation makes him realize that he still has feelings for Claire (before he tried to convince himself he wants to save her only because she changed sides).

In the Darklands, Gunmar imprisons both Claire and Nomura and makes them battle each other every day to break them. After the fights, they talk a lot and Nomura shares her story about her relationship with Draal. She believes that no one can truly love a changeling, but Claire thinks that she could possibly be happy with Jim (the memories of their time together are the thing that helps her keep going).

Meanwhile, during one of the encounters with Angor, Aja and Krel get involved and the Team Trollhunters learn their true identities. Aja and Krel decide to join the local defenders.

While things look bright for the team at first, everything goes worse as Draal loses his arm in a fight with Angor. Usurna also invents a different story to make Aaarrrgghh go back (as no one is poisoned in this AU) - she arrives, pretending that someone attacked the Krubera tribe, and asks for a backup. Aaarrrgghh is seemingly the only one who can go, so he departs.

The team thinks that Strickler might have a different ally (the one who attacked Krubera) and realizes they need to deal with that too before venturing to the Darklands. There is also a deal with Angor in this AU, and Angor's soul gets destroyed, leading to Strickler coming to Jim for help. The outcome is still the same, with Barbara learning the truth, the binding spell broken and the Trollmarket under the attack. It's too much for Jim, as he goes to the Darklands alone in secret.

As for Claire, Nomura actually helps her escape one day, so Claire is currently roaming the Darklands. She is lost and has no idea what to do now. At some point, Claire stumbles upon the Nursery, and it helps her to formulate some vision of her future, She vows to return all the familiars back to their families, but first, she realizes she needs to save Nomura who is kind of her family.

Jim, on the other hand, finds Gunmar's prison - and ends up surrounded and captured. Gunmar realizes that the Bridge is open and sends some of his most loyal goons to investigate. And as Usurna pulls some strings to use her own loyal troops to guard the exit, she soon makes a deal with Gunmar. Usurna sneaks Gumm-Gumms inside the Trollmarket each time no one is close, and uses Gyre to transport them into a secret location in the forest.

The Team Trollhunters try to go to the Darklands to save Jim, but Usurna's position is too strong - she keeps feeding the locals' paranoia and even insists that it may be better to destroy the bridge (she plans to do it at some point, to limit Gunmar's troops and make him easier to control). After some time, Blinky and Toby make a plan to fool guards and go past them into the Darklands (Mary, Darci, and Draal go as well). In the Darklands, they meet Claire (who isn't happy to learn that Jim came to save her alone and most likely got in trouble). With her lead, they travel to the prison area and free Jim and Nomura.

While imprisoned Jim noticed that there wasn't much activity with Gumm-Gumms and that Gunmar stopped appearing altogether at some point. He shares it with everyone else, and Claire agrees that there are seemingly fewer guards than there used to be during her own imprisonment. The team investigates a bit, following a group of Gumm-Gumms and discovering that Usurna is a traitor, working with Gunmar.

At the same time, Aja and Krel, who stayed on the surface, stumble upon the Gumm-Gumm base in the forest and realize the possible extent of the catastrophe. They are not the only ones who discover the base that night as Steve (who finds Jim's disappearance suspicious and follows Aja and Krel) and Eli (who thinks that Aja and Krel are suspicious and follows them) both end in the wrong place. Aja and Krel have no choice but to tell them everything.

Two parts of the team reunite - only to witness Gunmar taking over the Trollmarket. Aaarrrgghh returns (he has been captured all this time and helps some local trolls escape). Still, there are too many trolls under the Decimaar's control now and the future looks rather bleak.

The team decides to go looking for more allies. Nomura contacts Strickler and proposes to recruit some of the wavering Janus Order's members. Steve and Eli argue about telling the citizens of Arcadia about the magic creatures, but Jim is reluctant.

As Darci never abused the Shadow Staff (unlike Claire in the canon), she has no link with Morgana. As for Gunmar, he discovers that Morgana is sealed inside the Heartstone but after considering the pros and cons, decides not to risk unsealing her (he decides to either look for a different, more controllable wizard to start Eternal Night or simply find some alternative to that one).

Morgana, however, doesn't plan to just wait. She orders the still loyal members of the Arcane Order to find her some temporary vessel and summon her soul inside it. The changelings pick up Barbara for it and kidnap her.

Strickler and Jim think that the Janus Order does it as revenge. They save Barbara, not realizing that she's already possessed. Strickler talks to Barbara, deciding to come clean about everything, but her reaction is surprisingly nonchalant (actually, he talks to Morgana that time). At first, he thinks Barbara is still mad at him, but as time passes, he grows more suspicious, discovering that she is meeting with Angor Rot (who she has revived).

Meanwhile, Claire is secretly researching the way to get familiars out like she promised and meets Douxie during her research. She learns that Douxie is Merlin's student and brings him to meet with the team. Douxie tells everyone that Merlin is still alive and just sleeping, so Jim decides to awaken him in the hope that he can help deal with Gunmar.

Strickler doesn't manage to inform anyone about his discovery as Morgana captures him. She contacts Gunmar and proposes an alliance while sending Angor Rot to recover Merlin's staff.

With Douxie's help, the team goes through the tomb's challenges without much trouble. They are unaware that Angor is pursuing them though. Angor ambushes everyone when they drop their guard, stealing both Merlin's staff and the Shadow Staff. When Merlin wakes up, he isn't happy.

The situation is dire. Morgana gets out as she forces Strickler to read the spell (threatening to harm Barbara otherwise). Strickler escapes with unconscious Barbara afterward (as Morgana goes back to her own body). All of that only gives Merlin more arguments when he convinces Jim to take his elixir.

When Jim disappears from his bathroom, Claire goes searching for him, and finds him in the forest, transformed and disoriented. She brings him back and encounters Merlin about it. Merlin, however, tells her she should be the last person complaining as he just erased the obstacle that prevented Jim and Claire from being together. Claire loses her temper and punches him, even though some cynical part of her mind feels that troll Jim isn't bad (she feels extremely guilty for that kind of thought though as she loves Jim no matter what). Claire is the one who helps Jim to deal with his new experiences as she can relate to his situation a bit. Yet, she realizes how stressful everything is for him, so she swallows her pride and goes to Merlin again, asking if there is actually no way to turn Jim back (or at least give him the ability to change forms). Merlin harshly tells her there's no way and to stop pestering him with dumb questions.

Before the final battle, Claire talks to Ophelia and Javier, telling them the truth. She expects them to be enraged, but after the initial shock, they accept her as their second daughter.

During the final battle, Jim defeats Gunmar and Claire goes against Angor Rot, who she convinces to change the sides. Morgana, however, is captured rather than sealed (as Douxie and Krel make a magic-cancellation device).

The familiars are out of the Darklands, meaning that the changelings lose their ability to shift. Morgana, who is powerless and imprisoned, mocks Merlin for his inability to deal with that problem. Claire, who overhears it, comes to her and learns that Morgana knows a solution. She promises to free her in exchange for helping her, Jim, and other changelings who switched to the good side, to which she agrees.

Morgana, while still bitter about Merlin, decides to give humanity a second chance and just live a quiet life. Angor doesn't trust her though and decides to watch her from the shadows. Merlin is against the idea - but, well, he has already lost any credibility, so his opinion is ignored.

[theenbynightingale]

My thoughts on TDI '23 Season 2

I'm just gonna make one big post about it because I wanna get all of this out of my system so I can focus on other things.

Okay, let me get my verdict out of the way. This season was... fine. It wasn't great but it wasn't bad. It's probably the most middle of the road season, IMO. My now former friend told me that he thought this was shaping up to be one of the best seasons when half the episodes were out. I didn't wanna label it yet because I didn't agree but I wanted to see them stick the landing. They didn't. So while I don't agree that the season went downhill, I agree that its ending wasn't very strong.

Okay, good stuff! MK and Julia friendship (and MKulia nation thriving). Loved that. I kept worried that they'd drop the ball but they never really did. They were a lot of fun and it was great seeing these two characters who outright rejected the idea of making friends grow close.

Nichelle getting better at the physical activities while not actually understanding that she had to have a social life on the island and therefore, not actually knowing how to play the game was funny.

Wayne and Raj. They're always great.

Less fart jokes. Though, it seemed like they were just saving it for the memory episode.

Owen and MacArthur cameos!

Bowie's inner conflict. I think that was a nice arc for him, especially after constantly playing dirty last season. It made sense and wasn't out of nowhere.

Zee being Zee. We love Zee. I wish we saw more of his pet raccoon.

A lot of the challenges were creative (Starting off with a Squid Game parody is very Total Drama) and a lot of the jokes were funny.

Okay, so... I can't talk too much about stuff I like without immediately following it up with "and then it kept going and it got old" so... let's get into that.

Usually, in TD, there's the writing hurdle of what to do with characters after they hook up. Usually, one of the characters leave the episode they hook up or the episode after. I admire this season for trying to break away from this formula but I think they just proved why the formula exists. Because if you keep the story going after they get together, you run the risk of it getting old. And it got old. Twice.

Ripaxel was funny... and then it got old. And gross. And then it was funny again. And then it got much worse and then they left. And then you wonder what the point of that was.

But then there's Caleb and Priya. I actually liked the story between them. And then it kept going. The moment in the memory challenge where they made up? That should have been it. The story should have been over and, as much as I love Priya, that's where she should have left. We didn't need to follow it up with another misunderstanding between them. Their story was run into the ground and it just wasn't worth caring about anymore.

There's a problem throughout the season that was evident when the very first episode leaked. After a whole season, it's revealed that Millie still doesn't listen to Priya. This is an example of the season's biggest problem: rehashing the last season.

Millie has to face the consequences of betraying her friends, breaking their trust and not putting forth a lot of effort in a challenge... again.

Zee gets eliminated because the campers somehow believed letting him in on a secret was a good idea... again.

Damien accidentally screws himself over... again.

Emma seemingly has an interesting story set up, only for it to be dropped as soon as it gets somewhere... again.

Priya grows close to someone only to reveal that they had less-than-flattering thoughts about her, only for that someone to realize how much they care about her, only for Priya to find out about the earlier stuff and a rift is formed between them... again.

Once MK is gone, Julia is the main villain... again.

So yeah. Not a bad season because nothing really upset me. I'd take it over All-Stars or PI (maybe even Action but idk). It had a lot of good stuff. But some of the good stuff either deescalated into a rehash of last season or was dragged out to the point where you stopped getting invested.

I liked Julia's hair. Mullets are terrible but she pulled it off. I'm serious. She's rocking it.

tl;dr Owen didn't age because he was never really stressed. He was the happiest of all the campers so that's why he still looks 16.

[lymooniee]

Why I hc Shadow as autistic:

Just gonna preface this before I begin, this is all for fun and is a headcanon of mine. Your headcanons may be different to mine and that's valid too! Any grammar mistakes uh- ignore because I'm too lazy to edit this like crazy.

I will also link the video I made of all the moments, too, since it is way too long to post it on here. Keep in mind that not every moment is in the video, but like 95 percent of it is.

Shadow for me has always shown plenty of signs of being autistic, I'll provide as much evidence as I possibly can while doing my best to try and keep this at a reasonable length.

Shadow has always been the silent type of character when he is written correctly or, in other words, whenever Shiro Maekawa was involved with his writing in SA2, heroes and 06. Currently Prime too has done his character justice. I have to state this because I feel this is the best possible way of actually understanding Shadow as a character, so I'll mainly be touching his good characterizations and then some from his own game (not a lot however). He was silent, lonely, calm and often was in his head more than outwardly speaking out. I believe many autistic people like myself, connected to this side of him. Facing with so many adversities because of our differences from others, we become shut in and lonely too, since most autistic people don't feel as if they fit in. You can easily argue this is because of his ptsd from losing Maria, but I'd like to challenge the idea that it can easily be both and his ptsd enhances his traits.

I'll first begin with SA2, Shadow's first scene with eggman to me is quite hilarious if you put a different lens on it, the way he stand there ignoring Eggmans questions and then quickly demands Eggman to abide his rules. It puts Eggman into shock, but I think you could tie these moments that Shadow has as an autistic trait of his. Social cues are quite difficult for a lot of autistic people, and having no filter adds into this difficulty. The way Shadow ignores Eggmans questions to quickly ask him to do what he wants instead really emphasizes this point I made.

I love how he remains calm too, he doesn't yell this at Eggman and instead walks away casually and confidently. It's always been one of my most favourite moments with him. It really does make him stand out as he was able to influence Eggman to follow his wishes. If we want to talk about when he gets introduced to Sonic, I find this moment also again pretty funny in an endearing way when you put in this perspective. Sonic running to him asking Shadow to say something to speak, as Shadow stares at Sonic with silence. He's once again in his head more so than externally present, he also may be struggling to craft up a response or is at a lost with why Sonic is desperate for an answer. Conversations or socially interacting with people is challenging for most autistic people for a plethora of reasons so anything can really explain why Shadow here wasn't responding.

I've also found some of his moments when thinking of Maria (two specific moments being when Amy encourages him to help fight and the other being before Rouge approaches him to ask why he saved her), these moments he's very in tuned with his thoughts. After realizing his true promise with Maria he is in his head not responding right away to Amy, he sheds a tear and runs quickly to help and exclaims how he has to go now to keep that promise. This confuses Amy, however she doesn't stop Shadow or anything. When Rouge approaches Shadow and saying it was unexpected and unlike him to save her, he answers by saying that he didn't go to save her and was doing it for the chaos emeralds. She clearly catches on that this isn't the entire truth, this moment to me is harder to explain. But I think it's because of how he struggles to express his true intentions and feelings in the matter, similar to the Amy one before because he doesnt understand his own empathy.

Now one of if not the most obvious moments in SA2 is when Amy mistakes Shadow for Sonic, he slowly turns to look at her. Doesn't say a word or anything the entire time, and just continues to stare at her. I always loved this moment. I feel this one just speaks for itself lmao.

Now moving onto Sonic 06 moments (sorry there's not a lot in heroes tbh. There is a lot in Sonic X/Prime, Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog, and the Twitter takeovers though!) Sonic 06 main one points out how he is going to discover himself and make his own path. I've always loved this about him as a character, he's not there for anybody but himself, he knows he is different. He will embrace this about himself and not let others try to make up what he has to be. Other subtle traits in 06 are also ways in which he responds to those around him, head nods or simple "yes" responses. Again, it's his way of expressing himself in conversation that really hints at his struggles for social cues. I also adore when Rouge asks him a question and he once again demands for something, and she is like "ok cool, but you didn't answer my question?" Moments like that not only add a lot of charm to him, but something I really connected too because I do this all the time without realizing it. I think partially it's because I get stuck with my own thoughts and those questions I feel I've already got it answered for myself so it's prolly similar where that realization that you may know the answer already, but the other doesn't just doesn't click together sometimes. It could also be because he needs to get out what he needs right away to feel a sense of stability.

Sonic x just has a lot of funny moments that really make his character shine, when he crashes the plane with Espio, Vector and Charmy. He doesn't use his words and instead guides it down forcefully, I similarly do stuff like this where I struggle to express what I need or have to do so I usually just do it without saying it. This happens often when people are in the way of something I have to get to. Like if I have to throw out something for example. I also love that when Espio asks why Shadow didn't just ask, Shadow responds by saying he needs to go find Dark Oak and then just crashes straight into the wall. He really just has such a difficult time expressing exactly why he needs to do things lmao. I also love how he has a challenging time understanding instructions. Eggman asks him to do something and because to Shadow they didn't feel clear, he asks more than once for confirmation. Or when he gives the silent treatment to Rouge and she teases him about it, he just walks away without a word. Now this isn't only applied to Sonic X but Shadow has a really REALLY REAAAALLLY difficult time finding the true intentions of people, Sonic X he gets upset at Rouge and Chris for calling him out on trusting Eggman. He gets defensive and argues back at them saying that Eggman is worthy of trusting because he knows the most about him. It's all he has even though Eggman has been evidenced of tricking others around him. There's countless of other times where Shadow struggles with this, like basically every moment in his own game where he blindly trusts Black Doom. One other moment too I can't exactly remember which game it was, but Rouge was clearly lying and goes "you can trust me! really!!" And he does and then tells her absolutely everything that she wanted to hear.

Sonic prime moments are a lot less, but I do feel his way of just remaining very inwardly or to himself about things can once again be his difficulty in trusting. The way he also overanalyzes a lot of things around him as well. I also just love certain scenes like, "they're air shoes" or "hardly, I'm the ultimate lifeform" because he is blunt and took it quite literally. As he usually does in Prime, where he takes things quite seriously in general. I also feel because sonic is very VERY adhd coded in prime, it really does emphasize the contrast between the two of how someone with autism may interact with someone with adhd. In the most recent episode, he once again finds it difficult to express his protectiveness and plays it off. Or when he does compliment Sonic, he just glares at him when Sonic somewhat jokes around because it felt out of character for Shadow to do that. Even though Shadow was just being blunt about his thoughts and had a moment where he does express properly, but then his glare somewhat shows once again how he has a difficult time crafting up responses lmao.

Some more stuff but more miscellaneous, the Twitter takeovers is funny but it depends on if we want to take it as canon. He loves dry foods, adores kittens to the point he wants an orphanage (connection to animals on a deeper level), he has an organized bedtime routine, and yeah that's basically all the ones I can think of atm. These are quite explanatory I feel. Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog shows he has empathy but struggles to show it similar to basically every other moment I've described, but also just love that he can't handle computers I think that's so funny idk why. I can't even describe how it's an autistic moment for him it just feels like it. He stims with his quills a lot as well, which ugh I adore so so so much.

A lot of these things I've expressed about Shadow come from just from me loving him but also being able to see myself in him as well. I'm happy that Prime is bringing back his character to what it was, I think so many people love Shadow in the fandom simply because of how much they relate to him. He's such great representation despite it not being canon, because of how easily those can see themselves in him. I really do love Shadow and I know this is super long so if you read this, thank you and I hope you enjoyed it.

Have a cute photo of him as a reward ♡

[honeygrahambitch]

Rookie Questions: Why is Hannibal willingly surrendering to the police? Love? Wanting to show Will that he can't live without him? Is the memory palace strong enough for him to live peacefully in prison? What is it all this for?

Okay very good question. I was going to make a post about this topic but it's even better that you asked.

So the main focus of my answer will be the idea of impulsivity. And now you can say "what? But Hannibal is the least impulsive chatacter." Well, yes and no.

Hannibal plans every single little thing. Think about how he got Will in jail. Every day he planted little evidence to frame him. He slept with Alana so he could have an alibi in case Jack suspected him. Hannibal is incredibly manipulative and intelligent and cunning and composed, that is, most of the time.

There are however, two moments when he acts out of impulsivity. And these moments have something in common and I will explain that later in this post.

1) Mizumono

The plan wasn't to kill Abigail, nor to try to kill Alana and to stab Will as much as possible and make a mess and then run away heartbroken. The very calculated plan was to run away with Will and Abigail. And to bring Abigail back in Will's life. To turn back the time for Will. The plan was to kill Jack with Will's help.

But this changed when Hannibal realized Will betrayed him. He is so hurt he can't take rational decisions. He acts out of pure raw feelings. He is in so much pain he tries his best to hurt Will the way he did too. And he does that by killing Abigail in front of him. And then by literally stabbing him. And then he runs away. The gif i attached screams impulsivity.

Hannibal is no longer calm, quirky, composed, elegant. He is a force. A furious, hurt and angry force.

2) The moment he surrenders

Exactly the moment you chose. Again, this time, the plan was to save Will from the Vergers and then to leave together after he would bring Will home. Hannibal doesn't expect Will to be so angry and done. The plan wasn't to surrender in front of Jack and the FBI for sure.

But he didn't expect Will to "break up with him". Will literally tells him that he doesn't want to think about him anymore. And says fucking goodbye. And Hannibal is hurt. You can see that on his face when Will says that painful stuff.

And now to answer your question, in this episode, Hannibal does the same thing he did in the end of season 2. He knew that Will would search for him in Florence because he told Will about how much Florence means to him, right? Like Bedelia says "you made sure he would know where to look for you". Telling Will about Florence was somehow his backup plan "in case" something went wrong. In case he would have to run away without Will. But trust me, Hannibal wasn't counting on this in Mizumono. This was his "worst case scenario" You can see the surprise on his face when Will calls and says "they know". Hannibal could have ran away from the moment he felt Lounds' scent the day before. But he didn't. He really put all his trust in Will. And he shattered it.

However, when it came to running away to Florence, he wasn't giving up his freedom. Now, when he surrenders, he does. He is so hurt and surprised by Will's "walls" that the first thing that comes to his mind is to disrespect Will's boundaries and force him into knowing where he can find him.

Hannibal is a very confident guy. He is very confident in his mind. And memory palace. So living in prison wouldn't have destroyed him cause he has an amazing emotional and mental strength. What would have destroyed him however was "not having Will in his life". That's why his options are: prison or never see Will again. And he chooses prison. Yes, because he loves him.

And now i will explain the connection between the two scenes. Hannibal acts impulsive and makes radical decisions only when he is hurt by Will. Because he loves Will. So yes, he surrenders because he loves Will and decides that he is more precious than his freedom. And of course, there is some pettiness here as well cause Hannibal has a big ego.

He wants Will to feel a bit guilty, like "you don't want me? Fine then. Look at me surrendering and giving up my freedom." Cause it's not really freedom if the person he loves is not part of his life. So running away makes no sense.

I hope I answered your question. I didn't expect to make such a long post ahdjdnsndndn

[imaginarylungfish]

nothing is good or bad (or how i realized god still lives in my brain)

I grew up pretty Catholic. I don't know if my experience was extreme or not by others' standards, but to me, it felt pretty all-encompassing. My sister, mom, and I went to church every Sunday and prayed every day. I whole-heartedly believed I was born sinful, Jesus sacrificed his life for an unworthy lowlife like me, and I would go to Hell if I didn't behave in accordance with the Catholic teachings.

Looking back, it's all so absurd. How is there an imaginary man in the sky looking down at me and punishing me for being born? How did a man who lived thousands of years ago die on a cross and magically wash away the fact that I lied one day in 3rd grade? How is there a creature with horns tempting me to commit sins and lure me to a magically place with eternal fire? Like what?

It's funny because the thing that made me start to stop believing in "God" was sort of up to semantics. When my great grandpa was dying from cancer while I was in middle school, I had this prayer card from the Catholic store that said if I prayed it for 11 days straight, anything I prayed for would be granted by God. I, of course, didn't want my great grandpa to die, so I religiously prayed for those 11 days. A month later he died. I was crushed. I genuinely thought I could save him. I asked my mom why my prayers didn't work. She said it was because it wasn't God's Will. That broke my brain. What's the point of praying for something if this guy can just flip the script because that's just how he wants it? How was that fair?

Throughout high school, I still went through the motions of being Catholic (and even was confirmed), but I was skeptical. It wasn't until college that I cut ties with Catholicism and their "God" entirely.

It's been almost a decade since I've first questioned "God," yet I still have him in my brain. I thought by now, in 2023, his hold on me was gone entirely. But a conversation with my (now ex) partner nearly 6 months ago made it clear that isn't the case.

I was having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that what I thought to be the "best" in a situation was not objective. As in, it is no better to play video games all day than to go outside on a hike. Or delving deep into yourself and healing your traumas is really no better than just letting them be. It just depends on what you value and what you need in that moment. "There is no good or bad," my partner said, "it just is."

Yes, living is just living. Good and bad mean nothing other than what an individual person thinks. This made sense in my brain, but it didn't feel like a fully solidified understanding to me. I know I still unintentionally and unnecessarily assign morality to things based on my Catholic upbringing. Sex is bad. Tattoos are bad. Eating past when you're full is bad. Not being productive is bad. But why? By whose standards? Mine or the "God" that still lives in my brain?

After this conversation, I Googled some (secular) articles to analyze my thought processes. I knew I needed to expand my perspective if I wanted to integrate this new idea of neutrality into my way of thinking.

I came across a few articles written by William L. Mace Ph.D. on Psychology Today. The first was called "There is Nothing Either Good or Bad But Thinking Makes It So." In this article, Mace was asserting that everyone believes their way of thinking is the best, but it's not. It's just a way of thinking.

He talks about how people tend to gather evidence for our own way of thinking. When people don't align with our values, "we can always console ourselves [by saying], 'I may have lost to that deceitful so-and-so, but at least I came out ahead by holding to a higher ethical standard.'"

While reading this, I couldn't help but find my own self being reflected back to me. When I interact with someone who does something that doesn't make sense with my worldview, my knee-jerk reaction is to dismiss them. I rationalize to myself that they must just be morally inferior, right? I've done more self-work than them and they must just be ignorant. But on further reflection, isn't that just my ego trying to assert itself? Isn't that just the Catholic judgement I received as a child being spit back out as my own thoughts? There is no good or bad, no superior or inferior--things just are.

But realizing that is groundless. It's scary. I think, as humans, we want retribution for wrongdoing and reward for righteousness. We want punishment for sin and exaltation for virtue. (Hmm, sounds like a good basis to start a religion...) But that's just not reality.

In another article by Mace called "The Difficulty of Accepting Reality" he talks about how cognitive dissonance plays a role in our everyday lives. When we run into something (a person, a situation, etc.) that doesn't align with our beliefs, we have a choice to disregard the facts, re-adjust our own thinking, or blame something else entirely.

For example, when you're watching a movie that's hard to follow, you do your best to piece together the plot with the clues given and come up with your own interpretation of what's going on. In the end when everything is revealed, if you realize you were wrong, you can either dig in and assert you are actually right, admit you were wrong and re-adjust to the new reality, or blame the screenwriters for not making it clear enough. And there is no right answer. It's just your choice.

I was given these choices when I first broke away from Catholicism as well. After being exposed to more secular life, I realized there were some things that did not fit with my worldview of believing in God and following Catholic beliefs. I chose to re-adjust my views instead of insisting God is real. (This did not, by any means, happen overnight--it was a multi-year process of letting go and trusting my own beliefs over the arbitrary rules of the Catholic Church. Plus, it's an ongoing process.) Coming to terms with the idea that God does not exist is viewed as a lack of faith by believers and therefore I am labeled as "bad." But in my view, I am good. I escaped.

So, does that make those who still believe in God wrong? Is anyone right? My ego wants to think so, but I guess no one wins because there are no winners and losers. It's just life.

I am coming to my own conclusion that there is no better belief or way of thinking. Sure, there are codes of ethics enacted by societies. But those aren't facts. They're just collective agreements of conduct. Nothing is inherently better than anything else. Not everyone will think this way and that feels more okay to me than earlier in my life. I feel like through learning that nothing is superior or inferior, I can start chipping away at those old, deeply held beliefs from Catholicism in my mind. I, personally, don't want them there. I don't want a "God" living in my head anymore. I want more of me and my thoughts that I've cultivated through my own work, not some scripture shoved down my throat when I was 5.

Before wrapping this up, I do want to say, yes, for me, real damage was done by growing up in the Catholic Church. However, I don't blame my parents or guardians for raising me as Catholic. Nor do I think Catholicism is all-out bad (we literally spent an entire post on trying to eradicate that black-and-white type of thinking). I believe this runs deeper than mere individual fault. I know my parents thought being raised Catholic would be good for me and my sister. Even though I didn't ask for any of these negative consequences of my upbringing, here they are, and I want to do something about them, so I am not controlled by them any longer.

I want to internalize the belief that life is just life. Things are just things. There is no good or bad, no superior or inferior. There isn't much rhyme or reason to the events in my life or anyone else's. I am the one who can assign meaning to things. I don't want to follow an external set of rules, much less ones made by institutions that feed off of shame, fear, and ignorance.

If you agree or disagree or just want to see where this takes me, stick around. Thank you for your curiosity about my inner thoughts and reading this far.

-L

resources that have helped me process my Catholic trauma:

Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell: this really opened my eyes to the distorted reality the Catholic Church puts forth as "truth"

Ex-Catholic Subreddit: it's reddit, so keep your expectations low. but there are some solid posts on there that help me remember it's okay that i'm still struggling and i am not alone. plus, the "sheep no more" motto makes me smile.

We're Having Gay Sex podcast: this has helped me learn sex and pleasure, especially queer sex and pleasure, is not wrong and is okay to talk about

Queer Sex Therapy: this has also helped me normalize queer sex and queer joy

exvangelical and non-religious friends: honestly, just talking with others who have been through the same shit as you have or see how ludicrous what you learned as a child was is super affirming

[chirpsythismorning]

I've been on Reddit for a while and, god, Mike/Mlvn stans there are soooo weird. They put Mike on a pedestal, whitewash all the flaws that make him interesting, praise him for doing the bare minimum, and treat Will AND EL as tools useful to make Mike look better.

As a Mike stan, it's so unpleasant to read those stupid ass takes...

Mike is so complex and flawed and that's what makes him one of the best characters.

All of them are complex!! We're supposed to question them and their actions so we can figure out what it means for them and the overall story.

But the thing about Mike is that, the story is directly avoiding explaining everything that's actually going on with him, ie. Mike apparently noticing Will's every move at Rink-O-Mania, but the story not letting us see that... And so people watching casually are understandably just very prone to disliking Mike, because they have so little to go off of.

Post s4 a lot of bylers were coming for Mike, but that started to shift when we realized his POV was largely missing compared to previous seasons, and that there's a reason for that.

But it wasn't just bylers, plenty of casual fans will go on Reddit even still over a year later, and bring up their distaste for Mike and/or Mike and El's relationship, and how it's stemming from the fact that they don't know the truth about what is actually going on. They are confused. And they don't like what they are seeing based on the conclusion they have come to.

And instead of being met with actual evidence that explains Mike's behavior beyond the superficial, they get chastised by active fans in the sub. UGH it's so obvious. It's not that difficult to understand! That's the kind of stuff they say to casual fans every single day coming on there for answers after watching the show and sensing something off. Like, it must not be that obvious if not only bylers are acknowledging the elephant in the room, but even random casual fans are out here simply looking for some clarity, consistently.

And the way they talk about Mike, they talk about him in a way where it's obvious they don't actually know what he's genuinely going through. They conflate him to being in love with El and insecure because she's better than him. And their biggest defense is that all teenage boys go through that? Like, what are we even talking about right now?

On a show as complex as Stranger Things, they go from giving us the protagonist's POV in the first two seasons, to almost removing it entirely, causing the bulk of their audience to be confused bc there are pieces missing... You'd think that was probably intentional? Probably to keep a secret going, seeing as explaining exactly what Mike was thinking throughout s3-4 would sort of give the surprise away?

Every season has to get better than the previous. The stakes for season 5 are MASSIVE. And many are going into it completely misunderstanding what Mike is thinking and feeling. All it would literally take is informing them to change that and make the show come full circle perfectly.

I think they intend for the show to be rewatched and rewatched again and again. And you're not going to be able to rewatch ST from the beginning if you don't like Mike Wheeler. And that includes him and all his flaws that go beyond just the palatable that they've been willing to reveal up to this point, but also the truth behind it the Duffers have been so tight lipped about, with intentions to save it for the end.

If they're keeping us in the dark about Mike's true feelings and most of the audience hates him rn based on misunderstandings, then yeah, there's a really good chance they'll do what they can to clear up that confusion. There's a good chance they'll want to do what they can to make all of those moments in previous seasons easier to appreciate Mike's complexities and what he was going through more, and while most had no idea or even denied it as being a possibility in the first place when confronted with it back then.

If you're conflating Mike to he's a teenager give him a break and you're not actually down for discussions about what makes him very intentionally complex and why he is deserving of actually being able to say his piece for everyone that's misunderstood him over the years, then idk what to tell you. You're expectations for the Duffer's are obscenely low...

[stusdollface93]

Another random idea. Scream Owl house au. I'll also be including my Scream oc for fun. I also have a new coven idea to take the role of Edas bad girl coven role

Sidney Prescott- Healing coven. From the very beginning of the series, this girl is trying to not only heal herself but also her father and boyfriend from what happened the year prior. Yes, she becomes the bad ass final girl, but her main thing is helping others heal from their trauma.

Randy Meeks - I can see him being the first to mix covens in the group, mixing his very in tune horror skills into the Oracle, and for his love of the cinema, he gets the illusions track. Due to this, he will live through events in Scream 2 in this universe but keeps himself hidden until Scream 3 to make sure he's safe from the copycats.

Tatum Riley - Originally was a bard student, but after seeing how popular the track was in the friend group, she switched to healing to be closer to her best friend Sidney Prescott. Sadly, her death had made Deweys choice to be in the Emperors coven to try and stop more of his family from dying.

Dewy Riley - This man is the retired Emperor coven head who gets seriously tired of all the Ghost coven attacks. Though his aim is never on sight, he's very protective over Sidney, Gale, and Randy. He was the coven scout that helped Randy hide away from Miss Loomis. He deeply regrets not being able to save his sister from one of the Ghost covens agents that night.

Gale Weathers - This woman. You'd think she'd be a mix of bard and illusions, but no. Due to her need to get just a good story, she's the current and ongoing illusion coven head. She misses her ex-husband deeply and understands that he has more important things in his life, but she's just drawn to finding out the truth.

Stu Macher - Ahhh, this adorable goofball killer. He is the second known Ghost coven member, but before then, he was in the Bard, Abomination, and Illusions covens. Bard and illusions because even though he wasn't the brains of the operation, he is/was able to pool the wool over the eyes of his friends. Abomination is because he is the more messy between him and Billy. Due to Randy not really informing Sid to headshot both Stu and Billy, Stu is the secret head witch of the ghost coven with another person from their class that slipped under the radar.

Billy Loomis - And here we have the former ghost coven head witch. His cover covens were Bard, Illusions, and potions. Just like with Stu, he only joined bard and illusions to be able to trick everyone that he was innocent. The potions coven is because he is less messy and plans ahead better than Stu. He just couldn't really plan that his girlfriend was going to end him.

Okay, now here's the oc part.

Lu Bradford - As mentioned above, Lu was secretly a member of the Ghost coven without Billy realizing it until the night of the original massacre. Her original covens were Bard, beast, Oracle, and healing. She really didn't want to resort to joining Stu and Billy in their killings, but once her visions had shown that Stu was going to be in worse danger than Billy. She snuck Stu out of the house while Gale, Sidney, and Randy were busy taking care of Billy. To the minds Woods Isles Billy Loomis and Stu Macher died that night with no evidence of outside help.

Ghost coven - The Ghost coven is the not so secret twisted version of the coven scouts that go around and end the lives of those that wronged them or just want the infamy that the coven gives. There's no requirement to "join" other than having at least the bard or illusion covens as a track idea. They use stolen or retired coven scout uniforms to hide themselves from their victims. The sigil is a grey ghostface mask almost mimicking the abomination track but looking more threatening due to it being designed by Stu himself.

I will make more posts on the Scream House, but the palisman of this group will most likely be next, but I loved coming up with this idea of what the scream folks would be in owl house.

More Scream house content:

Lu carving her Palisman

Stu and Billy get their Palisman.

Palisman explanations.

A hypothetical divorce

Best friends can get married

[casspurrjoybell-25]

The Healer of Shakkara - Book One

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 15 - Friends - Part 1

The boar trails were narrow, so they walked in single file, with Galen and his friends in the middle, Sev and Rea in the lead and Obi, Iksy and Zenir behind.

The three friends spoke quietly as they walked and as Triss and Behn caught Galen up on their own adventures, he felt his spirits rise along with the sun.

"Doesn't your dad need your help with the brewery, this time of year?" he asked Behn, keeping his eyes on the dusty trail at his feet.

The boars chose their paths for efficiency, not for human comfort and the narrow track was steep as a ladder in places, choked with rocks and roots in others.

"Yep," Behn answered breathlessly.

His round face was red with exertion and sweat glistened on his brow.

They'd only been on the trail a little over an hour but the climb was brutal.

"But I've been replaced."

"Replaced?" Galen frowned, worried he might've caused some rift between Behn and his father.

Behn nodded and answered between puffs of breath.

"He wasn't... happy with me going after you but... you saved my life, so... he knew it was the only right thing. Meantime, he figured he'd kill two birds with one stone. Your dad needs a place to stay. My dad needs... an extra pair of hands. With me gone... my dad's got an extra room and Harrald has..." he trailed off, flushing an even brighter shade of red as he realized what he'd been about to say.

"Well, Harrald can help out," he finished.

Galen laughed, as much with pure relief and gratitude as with the memory of his father's sense of humor.

Whenever anyone asked if Harrald needed a hand with something, he'd hold up his stump and say... 'As a matter of fact, I do.'

No one made that mistake twice.

"Harrald will love that," he said.

"He hates the idea of taking charity, so I'm sure he'll do more than his fair share."

He turned his attention to Triss.

"What about your duty to the Guard? Won't you be charged with desertion?"

"If I ever go back, maybe but I doubt it," she shrugged.

"Things were more confused than an ant's nest on fire when I left. I'm not the only one who 'disappeared.' Besides, with the way the temple's been worming its way into our business... I doubt I had much future with the Guard, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

She glanced at him.

"You know the way the temple zealots think. 'Women are supposed to stay home and make babies, not ride horses into battle."

Galen grimaced.

"But you're the best in your class," he said.

"And it's not uncommon for women to be the best archers and the most skilled riders. They can't argue with that."

She rolled her eyes.

"That's the problem. People like Darek think women shouldn't be as good, much less better, than men, so they don't like it when they see evidence to the contrary."

Rea glanced over her shoulder, having overheard.

"It's the same everywhere," she said.

"Though I thought Thryn was different."

Triss sized the other woman up with a keen eye.

"Thryn is different, overall," she said.

"But things are changing and not for the better. After they drive off the foreigners and 'witches' who will they blame for the troubles to come? People who don't follow the temple's lead and stick to 'tradition' that's who."

"But having women in the Guard is tradition," Behn argued.

"Goddess Thrynis herself is a warrior."

Triss rolled her eyes.

"It's not really about tradition. It's about..."

"Power," Rea said, nodding.

"Instability breeds fear and fear is a tool in the hands of those who seek power. Thryn isn't the only province experiencing unrest... it's happening all over the Empire."

"More tremors?" asked Behn.

"Not tremors. No... but other things," Iksy's deep voice came from right behind Behn, making the boy start.

"Unseasonable rains in Edraxis, a drought in Yuthraka, massive sandstorms in Abarra, strange illnesses in Naqqir. So far, Sakkara remains unaffected but for how long?"

"What's causing it?" Behn asked.

They'd come to a halt beneath the shade of a few shrub-like trees with twisted trunks and prickly leaves and took a moment to sip water and catch their breaths.

It was hardly an hour past sunrise but already the air was warm.

"No one knows," Sev answered, his eyes shifting from silver to dark gray in the dappled shade.

"But the people of Thryn aren't alone in their talk of 'imbalances' and the Order at Jana Val agrees. Magic is woven through the fabric of our world and something is disrupting it. They hope the P'Yrha will hold the answers they seek."

"And they think this 'P'Yrha' person is Gale?" Behn asked, brows raised.

"They will test him... yes... but I'm already quite certain that he is. From what I've heard, he healed you through sheer force of will... by channeling raw magic through himself. Only a P'Yrha could do that."

Behn looked at Galen and whistled.

"Guess you're gonna save the world, Gale. No pressure, huh?"

[blazenka]

Singles

Elena sees more of Damon than she's ever suppose to and learns more about herself than she could ever hope. Set during Season two; one-shot.

Original source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6777000/1/Singles

Chapters: 1

Published: February 25, 2011

Words: 1889

Rated: Fiction T - Language: English - Genre: Humor/Friendship - Characters: Elena G., Damon S. - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5

Exported with the assistance of FicHub.net

Singles

~Ѱ~

The Boarding House was still, yet not just quiet but completely soundless. On afternoons like today she would have been with Stefan enjoying a nice day together. Instead, Elena was tasked to do research with Damon because apparently she was in martyrdom mode and since Damon already stopped her once…

The whole situation gave her a terrible head ache. She wished, and sometimes pleaded to an unknown god, she could go back to her old life. Even though being with Stefan was nice, there were days she would trade it all for cheerleading practice, normal Bonnie and Caroline, being able to just play video games with Jeremy and she could talk to her par…

Elena interrupted her train of thought yet again. If she went down that track again she would give up again and this time no amount of pep talk might bring her out of it. She just couldn't do that to herself, not when she promised Stefan she would renew her efforts of trying to do so. She could not give up hope (despite how hopeless it might be).

So engrossed in her internal struggle, Elena forgot… or well, disregarded all common courtesy of knocking and just entered his room without notice.

"Elena! Dear Lord… would it bother you to knock?" Damon scolded as he vainly tried to wrap a towel around his waist.

But it had been too late and all in vain because when Elena had immediately looked straight ahead in Damon's direction when she entered the room. This, unfortunately, meant she had just seen everything Damon Salvatore had to offer. Everything. Not just limited to the PG-13 or NC-17 sense either. And no matter how hard she could and would try, she highly doubted she could ever unseen "everything".

Finally able to bring her gaping mouth closed, Elena stammered, "I'm so sorry Damon… I wasn't… ah, thinking."

Was that the best explanation she could give? It sounded more like she was trying to come up with an excuse.

"It's quite alright Elena. Well, not really but to save from further embarrassment I'm just going to go into my bathroom and change, alright?" Damon suggested with his pointed thumb as he gathered his pants before making his way to the second door. All Elena could do was nod.

Elena began to leave with the mind set it would be best to go down stairs and get a start on the research while waiting for Damon when probably the asinine idea popped up. Usually, Elena dismissed something like this but with all that had happened lately who would blame her if she decided to?

Damon eventually exited the bathroom whilst drying his hair, conveniently ignoring Elena's presence. Although, Damon did became aware of her when she waved her hand in front of him.

"Um, Elena… what are you… Did you owe me for something?" he asked with evident confusion.

"Well, I saw something I've never seen before," Elena tried to explain as she held up the dollar bill.

Confused, Damon gaped at her for a moment before accepting the money with recognition. "Elena Gilbert, really?" he asked with a delightfully surprised smile.

She would probably never cease to amaze him but for once, he was taken completely off guard. It warmed his heart strangely that she would remember one of his throw away lines he used on her and Stefan, and try to make light of the current dark situation they seemed to perpetuity be in. Elena could only smile back before heading to the door, "I'll be in the study, okay?"

"You do realize now," Damon began as he pulled on his shirt.

"This means war?" Elena tried to finish for him.

"No… I'll have to pay you back now," he added with his signature 'eye thing' as he tucked the dollar into his denim pocket.

Yet, instead of Elena's usual response of disapproval and smacks, she laughed with genuine humor- the type that reached your eyes and Damon just jumped right in and joined her. For once, it was just the two of them laughing at each other's snarky comments. Elena hadn't heard his laugh for so long and the light hearted one she was hearing now she possible had never heard before.

Elena just shook her head of thought, only to have it consumed with reality once again. She moved back to the door frame muttering, "You probably know what I look like already," before she left.

However, Damon was quicker than her and grasped her wrist to keep her in the room; "We were having a fun moment but you just had to ruin it."

"Excuse me?" Elena questioned in regard to his tone.

"Stefan doesn't seem like the most positive role model if your thoughts turn so quickly to brooding and gloom," he stated, the dark expression from the last month returning to his face again.

"I don't understand…" Elena tried but Damon cut her off, "You know exactly what I mean. God Elena, are you forever going to compare yourself to her?"

Elena ripped her arm from his grasp, "Well, I do in fact share her face, it's only logical we probably share the same body… features," Elena tried to finish without a grimace or bile rising to her mouth. Bodily features that ensnared both Salvatore brothers….

Damon could only sigh, "How many… Elena, you are nothing like her. Sometimes I even forget…" but he stopped himself before correcting, "Elena, I could give you probably a hundred differences between you and… Katherine. Particularly in body plan… which I would have to guess at because I've never had the pleasure of seeing you, Ms. Elena Gilbert, in the…"

"Damon!" Elena was quick to scold him, which only results in him smirking before resuming, "But I am serious."

"Oh, how so?" Elena folded her arms across her chest; she was always one to defy him.

"Well, Katherine had a child so there's a major difference right there," he began.

"Oh, so she's more curvy and womanly than me, thanks Damon," Elena scoffed.

"That's not what I meant. Yes, she had curves and certain… assets that were attractive during that certain time period. Yet she also had an extremely hourglass waist, which was probably due to corsets that I never saw her without."

When that didn't ease the look on Elena's face, Damon decided to change tactics. "She's curvy, I'll give her that. She probably has stretch marks I've never seen… and how sexy are those?"

This earned him a light laugh from Elena but he knew he wasn't clear quite yet. "And you Elena, even covered head to toe in clothes, are a different entity all together. You're probably lean and fit with just the perfect combination of womanly charm. You certainly present grace wherever you are."

"Damon," she began again to interrupt him but he wouldn't have it.

"You forget I saw you in the beautiful blue dress at the Founder's Ball and you were quite lovely as you descended the stairs. A blind man could see you and your beauty with such… honest truth Katherine could never master with all her fem fatal."

"Damon," Elena's voice came out slightly like a whine but more of a whisper when Damon finished his statement.

"But, of course, I don't know any of this for certain unless you want to show me," Damon remarked quickly, displacing the intimate atmosphere with his sexual tone.

"Damon," she rolled her eyes; that one had definitely earned him a smack on the arm, but Elena still smiled.

"Oh, come on. I show you mine, but you won't show me yours? Elena Gilbert… hardly fair," Damon commented with his façade of hurt. Oh yes, her Damon was  almost back - with sexual innuendoes and all, and she couldn't be happier.

Elena turned to leave again but before Elena could reach the door frame, Damon pulled her back to embrace her in a hug.

"I know this sounds horrible cliché but I would not be the man I am today without you, Elena. So, thank you… for being there when I needed it," he finished as he gave her a friendly pat on the back, "That's one thing Katherine could never do."

"Well, you've been there for me and to save my life so… thank you," she replied with a reassuring pat for him, "Its… it's just nice to have my best friend back," she finds herself able to finish.

Damon just shook his head while he rests his forehead on her shoulder for a moment, "You never truly lost me but thanks for bringing me back anyways."

All Elena could reply back with was a 'no problem.'

The two stayed like that for a while, long enough to grasp the moment before Elena could feel awkward and disloyal. They pulled back with a mutual short laugh before Damon turned to his armoire to fix his shirt, "Now, I'll be right behind you. We still have research to do downstairs."

Elena faked an overdramatic look of dread, "Oh great, more homework," Elena joked.

"Yes… that could save your life," Damon replied in a snide tone.

Elena left the room with a strange smile on her face as she closed the door behind her. No, she wouldn't trade her life now for anything.

But - wait a minute… How could Damon, being a vampire, neglect hearing her walk up the stairs, let alone not hear her come into his room? She could only wonder as she headed down stairs.

" If I see something I've never seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it." - Damon Salvatore.

~Ѱ~

The quote is from the episode "Children of the Damned" in season 1.

[lovesomehate]

Here it is! The final part. I can't believe this idea went into my head, but I had to get it out and a full fic wasn't going to happen. Thanks for being open to the idea of it being submitted. I have no idea how many mistakes there are in this, I got tired and didn't care to edit.

A Month and the After [part 4/FINAL]

TW: torture, murder, gore, non-con/molestation

10

Tara wakes cold and naked. Much to her shock Laura actually didn’t do anything malicious to her in the dead of night. The day prior she cleaned her wounds best as she could, patient with Tara’s cries of pains and soothing her. Any food she brought her was soft and she didn’t try to force it on her. Tara said no Laura left and when she had to give into her stomach’s needs Laura would bring her it nice and warm. The last she remembered was Laura giving her a little medicine.

Tara also isn’t restrained to the table and she clumsily stands, falling to her knees with a cry. Her body is shaking. There’s no evidence of any of Laura’s utensils. The basement was covered in dust in webs outside of the spot Laura cleaned for use. There was nothing down here save for her. 

Crawling up the stairs is a painful ordeal. When she pusshes the door open it makes something fall over. It’s a bag of clothes. A near exact match of the clothing she wore when she and her brother held Travis and Laura hostage.

Tears start anew. Knowinginly she pulls the clothing on. There’s nothing really to the house. Rotted furniture, cabinets bare, and clean spots among dust were Laura set her base of operations. Laura isn’t to be seen.

The door creaks loudly and Tara’s body jumps at the colding air. The place of her nightmare shuts behind her. She stumbles forward and still doesn’t see Laura, or anything. The car that was used to kidnap her is gone, there’s fields of grass as far as she can see. It seems like the only thing present in this sea of green and beige is a tree.

A tree where Laura stands. Her eyes cold and murderous, an ax in her hand. Tara wants to scream, vomit, plead but all she did was cry, the tears mixing with a stream of snot. Laura points just a bit passed her.

‘Run’

She hobbles in the opposite direction as best as she could. Laura is letting her get so far and Tara is getting so lost. She almost wonders if Laura could even find her, hopefully Laura was lost as well.

“Do you know what you did to him you bitch!” 

Tara barely hears the scream before she feels the ax go partly into her. Laura swings again and Tara’s right arm flops to the ground. Tara falls, but Laura doesn't descend upon her like Tara thought she would.

Laura seems particularly preoccupied with the disembodied arm. Hacking it to smaller pieces and smashing the bits with the dull of the ax. She finishes and waits, back turned. Tara realizes that Laura is just going to stand there until she starts fleeing again. Or else she’d bleed out and she can’t wait that long for death. And who knows maybe Laura would be sated after another lost limb. Maybe she’ll patch her up and let her live. She let the cop who kidnapped her and her boyfriend live, and even started dating him, so maybe.

Her leg ishit, but not taken, instead it’s her foot. She moves further forward and her opposite leg was taken.

“I didn't think someone could be that disgusting and cruel.” Tears pool in Laura’s eyes. “He’d already been through too much in his life.”

A swing to the hip impares her further.

Then her footless leg is gone.

“You don’t get to have him and keep him. You don’t get to keep him up and away from himself.” 

Her remaining forearm.

“I’m…AH!”

Laura swings the ax down off enough that she manages to take off the side of Tara’s face, including the ear.

“Do not fucking lie. We both know you and that brother fucking enjoyed every second.”

A swing to the side of her stomach.

“All your victims. I’m doing them a service too.”

Three too her thigh until it was gone.

“You made me helpless, I couldn’t protect him like he was doing for me.” 

Middle of Tara’s stomach.

“This is what it felt like. You’re going to rot in hell. And honestly I’ll probably be joining you. And if I do I’ll find you. I’ll find you and do this over and over and over.”

The ax falls. Over and over and over and over. Tara’s body hacked to pieces and those pieces are damaged to mush. 

It’s quiet. It’s quiet as her breath melds with the air. She doesn’t know what her body feels. It feels so heavy with her regret of not having been able to help Travis, heavy with being here, leaving Travis with a lie of her activities when should be home supporting him. Yet she doesn’t regret Tara’s death.

She feels heavy from lying to Mr. Hanely. To the fact that she put a lot of her savings into buying the car she was currently setting on fire. 

Eventually she would pack the feeling into the space were she kept the murder of the Hacketts in her mind. They would mingle together as Laura moved on with Travis. 

She heads home to him.

11

Laura lies to him and Travis let’s her. He knew before her kiss. He knew the language of her kisses. The kiss she gave him on her departure was filled with genuine love, wishes of comfort and regret. This was a lie she struggled with some. He appreciated that, but didn’t know what to do. He knew why she was leaving.

Laura didn’t know that he already saw the news reports about Tara. She threw away papers on the woman that he found after she was asleep or deeply pre-occupied. Laura had taken to happily, suddenly being the only one taking out the trash. Travis dug threw the large trash bin until he found some of the reports on Tara that she deemed useless but told him enough.

He didn’t enjoy it but he went through her search history. Particular makeup tutorials, searches for solitary locations focused in a singular town. Travis couldn’t help but smile at her tenacity.

So he stayed home without a word. Worrying, but comforted everytime by her texts, calls and video calls. Sometimes he didn’t answer or took to long to respond. Just on moments where he got caught in the mire of memories alone with Tara and Jake, contemplation on why Laura was with him and if he could still manage after all of it. 

“Laura’s lying to me.” He tells his therapist.

It’s odd talking to the man. For starters he reminds him way to much of Chris. Maybe that helped him open up some. He’s also much younger than him, though a bit older than Laura. He has glasses and warm presence, he focuses his therapy around sexual assult victims. Travis had rejected several potiencial therapists. He couldn’t handle speaking to a woman about it, and something about men his age made him feel like he was being judged and condemned.

“You and Laura are pretty open with one another.” The younger man, Dr. Craven said. “What do you think she’s lying about?”

“She said she’s going out of town for a little to see a very ill friend.”

“And you think she’s lying about the friend? Do you think she’s going on her own somewhere or do you think she’s cheating on you.”

“On her own. I get scared cause of my age, but i know she wouldn’t cheat on me.”

He thought she might start though. He awoke every so screaming or crying. Sometimes he was afraid of touching her, what if he no longer liked the way she felt against him. What if he called her that disgusting woman’s names again. Maybe it would be better for her to cheat, he was so distant know and he couldn’t satisfy her, either not being able to get it up or just stopping mid sex. If they did finish his body wouldn’t , leaving him with an odd feeling. He wouldn’t find release in the shower or doing sometimes nothing, ejaculating from a flaccid member.

“Well that’s good. I know you were intensely fearful of her leaving you.”

“I still am just, not as badly.” Travis leaned into the seat of the couch, his head resting on the back. “I think I know what she’s doing. It’s something that’s for my sake and I don’t even know if it’ll matter.”

“Do you know it won’t make you feel better? Cause if you believe that, you should let her know. Especially it’s going to require alot.”

Travis breathed in and exhaled, a rushed action.

“I don’t know if it'll make me feel better or not. Mostly I don’t its…I can’t go into detail.”

“I won’t force you, but if you think it’ll help.”

‘It’ll just get her in trouble.’ Travis thought for a moment.

“She’s so strong. I know she’ll be just fine. I…I don’t know what to say about it. There’s also a part of me that feels like I’m clinging onto her too much after this. That I’m syphoning energy from her.”

“I definitely don’t think that’s the case. You’ve been coming on to these on you’re own more. You told me that you’re looking into other interests. You and you’re friend Kenny are going to see a movie today. You sounded excited about that at the start of our talk.”

Travis sat up straight and considered what he was saying. He still had a stubborn habit of taking on guilt and refusing to see how he’s progressed. But maybe it was because Dr. Craven looked like Chris. Maybe it’s because Laura was and still trying to work a similar lesson into him. Even if he thought it small he was moving forward in some way.

“Yeah, I’m not doing so bad.”

Dr.Craven smiled.

“For now.” Travis added.

Dr. Craven made a slightly face, but didn’t give a severe answer and his tone was even.

“We’ve talked about that. It hits harder for you, but good days come and go. It’s enjoying the good days, fighting just to be okay in the bad days so that the next will be good again. Having a bad day is natural. Just don’t get lost in it, that’s a well you don’t want to go down.”

Travis’ eyebrows shot up in disbelief. A laugh erupted from deep in Travis’ chest. The good doctor showed signs of concern. 

“Sorry.” Travis wiped the slight tears from his eyes. “You just reminded me of something.”

“Well that’s good.”

“Mmm.” Travis raised his hand, palm down and tilts it side to side.

“Well, I’ll take it for the more positive. You’re reacting pretty well to it.”

Dr. Craven pointed to the smile on Travis’ face. They waited for Travis’ laugh to fully die down.

“Now we do have a few more minutes, but I would also hate to make you miss seeing your movie on time. So how about, we go ahead and cut this session off now and next time we’ll add on a few more.

“Sounds good to me.” Travis stands and Dr. Craven does as well.

“See you in a few days Travis.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

Then he went on to meet Kenny. They had fun, though the movie was dumb as hell. Kenny seemed to garner more humor from Travis’ reaction than the actual “hilarity” of the film. They ate at their favorite steak house and strolled around various stores for nothing in particular, but still found some things. Travis tried to focus on Laura sans her activities.

He loved every time she contacted him. He loved-hated the video calls. He liked seeing her, but he could also see the weariness from what she was doing and her lying. She wasn’t the biggest fan of lies. The heavier the weight of the lie the more she felt tired or the more she felt betrayed if the lie told by another.

It was one of the worst nightmares he had. It even had the audacity to take him back to the six years. Kaylee, Caleb, and Chris chasing him and Travis without his silver bullets and gun, cause of course he wouldn’t hurt them. He makes it to his home, but the door is locked. The outside of the house is lined with doors and windows, all of them locked. Bobby, Pa, and Ma all watched him from inside not moving as he begged them to let him in. The curtains all closed as gunfire rang through the dark. He turns and watches Kaylee’s body fall, human once more. It happens to Caleb and then Chris. 

He could make out to clothes of the shooter and the fierce way the gold eyes stared. Laura. She ran towards him and lunged transforming mid air and clamping down on his arm. There wasn’t a shard of mirror, not that he would use it. He fought his arm free, the flesh ripping. She lunges for his face and explodes again. Travis is pushed onto his back and a pair of lips are on his. He kisses Laura back, her blond hair tickling his face. When she raises however Laura’s hair and face falls off and Tara’s underneath

“Hi, lover.” Tara says, dragging her tongue up his face and her hand down his pants. 

A pair of hands are undoing his shirt. Travis is no longer on the floor, he’s standing and against someone’s front. Against Jake’s front. Travis fights himself free, their nails ripping his clothes and leaving long scratches in his skin, and falls. Falls right in front of Laura who he reaches for. She looks like angel, an actual halo present behind her. She bends down, bypassing her his hand and hugs him. Travis watches her wairly incase she changes to Tara but she doesn’t. But she does slip away too fast right as he goes to wrap his arms around her. She steps away and his throat feels tight. The further back, the tighter his throat, the tighter the rope she wrapped around him squeezes.

Travis wakes up in a cold sweat, trying to fight bile down. He looked to the vacant side of the bed. He didn’t know if he was happy or sad by that. His skin crawled. Tara and Jake’s touch felt to real and still clung to him, bringing their actual touches back to the forefront. He couldn’t breath, as though Laura was still choking him to death.

He was supposed to go to therapy. He drove there, but couldn’t get himself out of the car. This was a step back. He didn’t want to confront that fact with Dr. Craven.

‘I need to go in and talk about this.’ He thought. ‘But then what let him know that you couldnt handle a simple nightmare.’ 

His breathing quickened.

‘He’s a nice man. I can talk to him. I can tell him about this. Or I could drive away. Drive away and straight into the lake, or off a ledge or even into a train.’

He calls Kenny instead. He feels completely drained. He wants to sleep but is also terrified to do so. Laura sends him a text, he realizes that he doesn’t want to talk to anyone else today. He tells her so and shuts his phone off. He takes the home phones off the hook. He lets Kenny stay.

He gets a text that she’s coming home soon. He wants to see her. He can’t wait.

12

When Laura first drove pass the “Welcome to North Kill” sign she didn’t think of it. She and Max were heading up to do some early counseling before the start of summer camp. The only thing to think about was not getting lost.

When Laura drove pass the “Welcome to North Kill” sign she tensed up. Anxiety flowed from the top of her head, through her heart, to her white knuckled grip of her steering wheel and the tense calf muscles as she fought the urge not to bounce her leg while driving. She was going to do it. She was heading back to North Kill to see Travis Hackett of all people, cause she couldn’t get him out of head. Out of anger, out of sorrow, out of the need to talk to someone about how she feels. The drive to kill for Max, the frustration of being weighed down by carrying secrets, about trying to come to terms of the aftermath being free but also not, to sure but uncertain, to not know how to react to people anymore and lying through your emotions. 

Acquaintanceship grew from arguments and frequent visits for faux therapy sessions. Friendship came with more talks and walks through North Kill and becoming defensive on the other’s behalf. Maybe a punch or two was thrown. Love came from the ache of being alone, longer than intentional stays that led to sleeping on another’s couches. One another’s beds. In one another’s arms. The peace they found in one another and it made going through the day easier and possible.

The following drives pass the “Welcome to the North Kill” sign was on various trips here and there, visits and trips. Nothing to count when wrapped in the ups and downs of life with one another.

Then they were kidnapped, Travis harmed and used and seeing “Welcome to North Kill” didn’t matter. There was a numbness to seeing their home. They’re minds refused to return to their bodies, Travis’ even more so.

Now Laura sees at the “Welcome to North Kill” sign on the horizon and she feels tired with every inch closer. She couldn’t believe how heavy everything felt all of a sudden. 

‘Did I really do it for Travis.’ She thinks.

It was running through her mind once she got back to her original car. She took a risk leaving at at a motel that rested outside of Castor, but was lucky it remained and intact as well. She kept telling herself it was Travis and it was. With Tara dead he wouldn’t have to worry about Tara still being out there. But at the same time he wasn’t necessarily supposed to know about Tara. Her body would probably be found and identified eventually.

However she had a fearful growing realization. That maybe she never went after Tara for Travis’ sake. At least not fully, she might have actually done this for herself. To make up for the fact that she hadn’t been able to protect him. That she was so helpless to do anything. That she was so weak to do anything. That she found herself more of a source of pain at times than a source of comfort. Tara didn’t deserve to live, shit Constance deserved to live. Tara’s existence knocked Constance down from monster in bitch.

Laura could tell herself that it was for the other victims as well. Such as how killing Silas might have saved people they didn’t know of from the curse. But Tara’s victims were all dead, she and Travis were the only survivors in Tara and Jake’s sick activities. 

She shouldn’t have left. She should have left Tara to her wandering. She should have stayed with Travis. Her satisfaction and victory melted away to guilt.

‘I did this for him.’ She tells herself.

“Welcome to North Kill” passes by.

“I did it for us.” She whispers the words to herself. “I did it for me.”

Unbidden tears trickled down. She was so happy to be home. Happy or terrible, things had a habit of coming to truth in North Kill.

Don’t text and drive be damned.

[Hey handsome guess who just got back in town❤️]

The three dots pend on the screen.

[Are you texting and driving? If you’re driving please pull to the side and text back or call me. … Please be careful while reading this.]

Laura laughs. She thinks to text back just because it’s been a little while sense she’s annoyed him some, but decides to call. He beats her too it. She’s more than happy to answer.

“Hey sweetheart.” Travis says.

Laura feels guilty, but she feels at home.

“Hey. You sound like you’re doing really good today.”

“Well hearing you just made it a bit better.”

“Aw” She heard another.

“Um, did I hear someone else? Is Kenny picking on you again?” She jokes.

“No, that’s Dr.Craven.” 

“Oh! Am I interrupting? Are you allowed to call me right now?”

“I wouldn’t be on the phone if I wasn’t allowed.”

Laura stuck out her tongue, despite Travis’ being unable to see her. But he knew her so well.

“Stop that.” He says. “So where exactly are you?”

“I’m only just seeing stores and everything. I can pick us something up on my way in.”

“We can make up our minds about that afterward, if you’re not home or didn’t have plans are you able to come by Dr. Craven’s office?”

A pause.

“Are things ok?”

“Yeah, things are fine, I just…”

She could hear him fidgeting on whatever furniture he was seated on.

“I wanted to…to know if you could talk with me. With us. Its…” His laugh is shy and nervous.

“Yeah, I can do that. Of course I can do that, but is everything okay?”

There’s another pause but a muffled sound can be heard.

“Hello Laura? This Dr. Craven.”

“Hey Dr. Craven, is everything okay?”

“Yes everything’s fine. You should know that Travis is doing very well, but there are some topics that we wanted to progress or start on.”

“Okay.”

“And Travis would like to proceed with those topics with you at the sessions, or at least some of them. It’s not really unusual to do this sort of counseling. I know you finished you’re own, but its not a matter of that.”

Dr. Craven stops on his end and looks over to Travis who looks unsure.

“He’s a little scared about some of the topics we’re going to touch on and he’s not sure if he’d be able to talk to you about them or how it’ll affect your relationship.” Dr. Craven continues. “Now its something we can do over the phone and we can go over the details more, but if its not too much is it possible for you to make the remainder of this session.”

“Of course.” It was an answer requiring no thought. “Of course, I’ll be there right away.”

She’s already ending the call and only barely hears Travis to tell her not to speed. She does anyway. Her parking could be better, but it could have been worst. She luckily got a spot right by Travis’ truck, the person next to her was going to have to really suck in their stomach to get into their vehicle. She speed walks to the door and tries not to take the stairs at a normal pace, she didn’t have the patience for the elevator.

Her breathing is slightly agitated when she opens the door, stepping into Dr. Craven’s counseling room. 

“Hi Dr. Craven.” She says and the doctor gives her a nod and smile. “Hey Travis.”

They smile fondly at one another. Travis makes room on the couch and pats the cushion next to him. She sits and looks at Travis wishfully. Travis opens his arms and Laura dives into him. The hug is tight and long, Laura burring her face into Travis’ chest and Travis burring his face in her hair. They breakaway to not make the moment awkward for Dr. Craven.

“So..” Laura clears her throat. “You want me to be here for your sessions now?” 

Travis draws his lips in and nods.

“I…I know what you did.” He tells her. “Or at least I’m pretty sure I know what you did.”

Laura bristles looking at Travis, her mouth open without words. She hesitantly looks over to Dr. Craven.

“Don’t worry I have no idea what he’s talking about really.” The man soothes her thoughts. “Travis seems to know and that’s enough for me.”

“So you know?” She turns her worried expression back to Travis.

“Yeah.” He simply states.

“Are you made at me? For going and lying?”

Travis takes his time to set up the right words.

“I’m not upset that you left, I don’t ever want to hold you from doing anything. But as for why you did…I don’t even know if that would have helped me. I don’t even know how I feel now about it. I don’t want to tell you it was useless, but I don’t want you to have wasted time on…I just don’t want you to have felt some sort of obligation or to have lost precious time to the matter.”

Laura felt her throat tighten. The guilt threatening to cut off her air and forcing tears to rise.

“I’m sorry for lying, but I wanted to do this for you. I wanted to to keep you…” She needs the right words as to not tip off Dr. Craven, though she wondered if he had an idea.

Or at least he would have an idea the moment Tara’s body was found.

“I’m not ungrateful.” Travis follows up. “But how do you feel? Are you ok?”

A visible shiver runs through Laura. 

“I don’t want to take away from your appointment, this is about you. I’ve already been through my counseling.” She deflects and hates how crass she sounds. 

“That’s the other thing Laura.” Dr. Craven re-enters the conversation. “If you come to these sessions they’ll more than likely pull you into the conversation as well.”

“I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Travis speaks. “So please say no if you don’t want to be a part of this. You’re comfort in this matters to me as well.”

There’s quiet between them. Laura doesn’t answer and Travis and Dr. Craven wait patiently for her. She’s gone through her counseling she doesn’t need it anymore. But she needs to do something for Travis that’s fully for him because she feels like…she feels like…

“I feel like I didn’t do it for you,” Laura admits and her tears start to fall. “I think I did it because of you, but not for you, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that I couldn’t help you and I thought that if I…took the time to ease your mind of a problem, to have you not to wonder what if or where your problem may be. But now I’m wondering if I did it for myself.”

She stops a moment, the feeling gross on her tongue and too afraid to meet the two men’s eyes. 

“I wonder if it was all for me cause I couldn’t do anything for you thin. Maybe I deluded myself into thinking it was for you…”

“I’ll take that.” Travis interrupts her and she looks up shocked. “You did for me. You did it cause you hated that you couldn’t do anything for me. I don’t care. If you’re okay I don’t care. It’s something I would maybe have thought about I guess, but I don’t know. But I think you did it for me, even in a round about way. I’m thankful for you.”

With an admittedly ugly sniffle Laura inhaled and exhaled steadying herself. 

“I want to keep helping you Travis and doing these sessions with you would be the best and better way.” She turns so that she’s facing Dr. Craven properly, though she holds Travis’ hand. “I’ll try to make it to as many of these as I can and when you want. I’ll try on the phone too. Anything to help.” 

Travis gives her hand a slight squeez and her heart already begins to feel at peace.

When Tara is eventually found they don’t say a word, though Travis does make a face when they go into about the brutality of Tara’s death. If Dr. Craven has any suspicions, they never find out. Its still step by step. There are still the nightmares, the looks and touches of uncertainty and moments of needed distance.

However there are more moments of dreams. Of welcomed unexpected touches, touching one another and treasuring the warmth, the one another’s names on their tongue without an ill utterance. Moments where the memories would flood back but they had the strength to stare them done.

There was a sweet familiarity to returning to work and seeing friends. They were afraid, but they planned another trip. They weren’t going to be afraid. They’re stronger and together.

I am a pretty selfish person, so when Laura was like “I did this for myself” I just nodded like “yeah girl, they hurt your man, of course you would want revenge” and it never occurred to me that she would feel bad about it 😂😂😂😂

But hey, therapy 💙💙💙💙

Those two will be okay now and find a new normal for themselves 💙💙💙💙

Btw I was smiling so hard during the hunting Tara scene that my face hurt 😂😂😂

A good ending 💙

[beels-burger-babe]

A Pain You'll Soon Regret - Pt. 1

***This...This is glorious. Oh ho, I will most definitely give you this fic @millenniumofpain! I will do so gladly! Thanks for sending in this great request!***

Poly!MC Summary: MC and the demon lords get in a fight resulting in MC leaving. They planned on going to Purgatory Hall until things cool off, but they never quite make it there. TW: Heavy Angst, Violence, I don't know what to tag this, but there is a pretty nasty verbal fight, Gore/Injury Part Two: HERE, Part Three: HERE, Part Four: HERE

You growled to yourself, angrily wiping tears from your face, as you marched away from the House of Lamentation, away from your partners.

Well, you said marching. It was more of a stumble what with the way your intoxicated brain could barely walk forward. You wished you could say you didn't know how things got like this, but the evidence had been there all along. It was in the slow build of tensions that increased and increased until they overflowed. It was in the way everyone would bite their tongues more and more frequently rather than communicating their thoughts.

Everyone had little things about the relationship between the eight of you that bothered them, and no one said a word until the words could no longer be held back.

It all started after you came back from clubbing way past curfew with Asmodeus.

The two of you were definitely drunk and were giggling messes as you did your best to hold the other up.

You both jumped when the hallway light turned on to reveal Lucifer and the others waiting there for you.

You bit back a sob as you thought of the vicious words that came out of their mouths.

"You're so reckless! Do you know what could've happened to a human like you this late at night in this state?! For Diavolo's sake MC, I expected this behaviour from Asmodeus, but I expected more from you!" Lucifer shouted Asmodeus groaned and leaned against you. "We were just having some fun. It's my date night. Don't get your wings in a twist." Beelzebub glared at him. "Just because it's your date night with MC doesn't excuse you putting them in danger. You couldn't even defend yourself right now, forget about defending them!" You frowned and stepped forward. "Guys relax. Nothing happened." Mammon scoffed, "That's always how it is with you! You think that just because nothin' has happened to ya that it's fine. You ain't invincible MC. Gah, it's like you're just throwin' ya self into dangerous situations just to get us to come to save ya again!" Satan raised an eyebrow at Mammon's comments and crossed his arms over his chest. "Maybe that's what they want. Attention. Is that the real reason why you keep being so reckless?" he tsks and scowls at you, "If you wanted attention MC you could've asked one of your seven boyfriends." You looked at them all with wide eyes. "Wha- I do NOT do all of this for attention!" Levi snarled, "Then why do you do it? Huh? Why else would you get drunk in one of the most notorious clubs in the Devildom? Why else would you date all seven of the Lords of the Devildom?" You stepped back as though you had been slapped by Levi's words. You glanced around at the others, but no one rose to your defence. You met Belphie's gaze hoping, that maybe as the only one to have not spoken up, that he'd be on your side. He just snickered and gave you a perplexed look. "What? Don't expect me to step in. You got yourself in this mess." You stood shocked and hurt; almost unwilling to believe that your partners, the people who you thought loved you unconditionally, verbally attacked you. Anger bubbled and boiled inside of you until you couldn't contain it anymore. "If you guys have such a problem with it, then maybe I won't depend on you anymore! I'm reckless, yeah, I admit, but I never did it for attention and I certainly never put myself in danger just so you all could play the hero," you turned your anger to Leviathan, "And in case you forgot, you all agreed to date me! I thought it was because you all loved me as much as I loved you but apparently fucking not! So if you don't mind, I'm going to leave now like the attention-driven child that you all think I am!"

Not your classiest moment, but you didn't care. It was clear you weren't wanted at the time, and you were too tired to handle the brutal words that they were throwing at you. So you left. Which brought you here, stumbling your way towards Purgatory Hall, drunk, and sobbing as you shivered from the cold Devildom air. You could just see the shape of the Hall ahead of you when you suddenly tripped and found yourself tumbling to the ground. You winced as you felt your knees and hands scrape against the ground. You groaned and turned yourself over to inspect the injuries. "Just when the night couldn't get any worse," "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" You stiffened as three demons came out of the woods around you and began circling you like vultures about to swoop in on their prey. The tallest one snickered. "Looks like the Lords' little pet strayed too far from its masters. Lucky us~"

A shorter, rounder one smiled sharply as drool trickled from its mouth. "Their loss, our gain," it leaned forward and inhaled deeply before sighing in pleasure. "Oh, get a whiff of that fear~ Just, delicious! Do you think it's true when they say that human tears really do add seasoning to its meat?" You tried to scramble away from it, as your heart pounded in your chest, but yelped as your back bumped against a curvier one. Its long nails dug into your shoulders as it secured its hands near your neck. "Only one way to find out." You were in trouble. These demons clearly had no intention of letting you go. You needed to get out of there before it was too late. You jammed the heel of your palms against the back of the wrists of the demon that holding you down, while you leaned backwards away from it. You were able to get just enough slack to roll away from the demon before jumping back to your feet. You were still surrounded, but at least now you weren't defenceless on the ground. Progress.

You did your best snarl, one that you and Mammon had jokingly practiced together one day, and glared fiercely at them. "Do you have any idea who you're messing with? I could have you all killed with just a snap of my fingers. You have one chance to run away, or I promise you that no one will ever be able to find your sorry corpses."

The tall one laughed and smirked at you. "And what exactly are you going to do? Scratch us with your blunt little nails? Bite us with your flat teeth?" The round one perked and began to hop excitedly. "Oh! Oh! Maybe they'll summon the lords to do it for them! Such a pathetic thing doesn't stand a chance on its own."

The curvy one wore a sickening grin as it leaned down mockingly at you. "So, you gonna call your guard dogs or what?"

You froze. You couldn't summon the brothers. Technically, you could, but not at this moment. Not after that fight. They had basically screamed at you about how they were tired of you getting yourself into situations exactly like this and then come crying to them for help. And what did you do? Take off and prove them right. They didn't want to be your heroes. They didn't want you.

You were on your own in this, and there was no way you could fight and win. Without a second thought, you turned towards Purgatory Hall and ran. The laughter of the demons rang behind menacingly. You barely got five steps away before a set of claws slashed deep into your ankle. You screamed out as you collapsed roughly to the ground, making your forehead against the dirt road.

You twisted onto your side to see the round demon drooling over your heavily bleeding leg with a nearly psychotic expression. "I love it when they try to run." That was the only warning you got before it sunk its razor-sharp teeth into your calf. You wailed loudly in pain as you used your other foot to try and kick the demon off of you, but it wasn't so willing to let go of its meal. The tall one grabbed your arm, bending you foreword as it roughly folded it behind your back. You cried out as you felt your shoulder pop out of its socket and nausea swirl in your stomach. "Not so tough now, are you?" It purred in your ear as it licked the tears off of your cheeks. You choked on your sobs as it roughly bit into the flesh on your collar, and weakly struggled in its grasp. "Let go of me! H-Help! Somebody! Help me!"

The curvy one finally approached you, burying its fingers into your hair before harshly yanking your head towards it. You screamed before it slapped its clawed hand across your face. Bile threatened to rise out of your throat as you felt your own blood drip down your cheek.

Spots began to blur your vision as the demon leered down at you with its menacing eyes. You felt your stomach drop as a realization hit you. This was how you would die.

You whimpered as you thought of the brothers, and how you never got to even kiss them or tell them goodbye one final time. Hell, you didn't even get to see them smile at you. Instead, you were reminded that you could never be what they needed you to be.

You would die scared, in pain, and unloved.

The curvy demon laughed as it wrapped its hands around your throat. You struggled to breathe and whined as, for just a moment, you saw Belphegore choking you to death once more, and not this monster. You morbidly thought that it was only fitting for you to be killed the same way twice. The demon leaned closer to you, demanding that you meet its un-naturally yellow eyes as it smiled. "You realize it now don't you? That this is your death bed? That no one is coming for the pathetic little human. I bet no one would even-" Before it could finish its sentence a blindingly bright beam burst across the side of its face sending it flying across the ground. You could hear the other demon curse and began to take off as two voices shouted and more bright flashes were sent in their direction. As your vision began to fade, you saw tear-filled, innocent blue eyes look down at you and a small mouth framed by chubby cheeks try to speak. But it was too late. With a final whine, you felt your eyes roll to the back of your skull and your mind plummet into darkness. ***This request is just evil and I love it. There will be a part two. So stay tuned for more pain. Hope you enjoyed it @millenniumofpain! Thank you for allowing me to write this!!***

[lazarettta]

Misthios

Characters (Reader x Mother Miranda...?) 👀

Rating (T)

Word Count (2.8k)

Warnings (none, first half is has no dialogue, writing while high,)

Once her little warrior, always her little warrior.

I'm sorry if it's hot 🗑💀

The fire was finally the way you wanted it and you could finally fucking rest. You'd been hiking all goddamn day through the rain and snow, and you just wanted a minute to rest and to eat. The sun was starting to set and you still needed to set up your tent, but for the moment you were content to just sit on the log and get warm.

“Who'd ever think a Spartan would be in Rome looking for answers, hm?” it was ironic, how you would've been accused of being a traitor or something like that back then. Ha...back then?

Truthfully you weren't sure anymore where your life really started it's been so long, centuries really if you were being honest. Sometimes even your own secrets were too overwhelming for you to admit, and as the years continued to pass you by it was getting harder and harder for you to hold onto the same principles you once believed in. The wars you've participated in, two of them by choice...and as a favor for the third.

It shouldn't have been possible but it was for you, it was both a blessing and a curse because you were nothing special...you grew up with Spartan blood running through your veins, pushed at a young age to hunt and to protect, it was a common tradition for families then, especially for the oldest or only children. Your didn't ever recall your father, he died in battle before you were born but your mother was there, always. Even if her face was blurry after all of the time that has passed you by—you still remember her teachings and her technique. Your mother was the best hunter in Sparta, proudly.

But after...after her passing, the streets taught you how to be a mercenary at a young age...and then an assassin, not by choice but by necessity because you weren't a good person then, not really, and you still weren't now...but you still had the will do what was right, and so you did.

And maybe that is why the Gods did not let you die in the battlefield when you'd been caught off guard, for what is no longer relevant as it is now long gone, but the scar left through your heart would forever stain you inside and out by some random Greek bastard. You don't remember much of the dying part as much as you remembered how badly it hurt and how livid you were watching him stand over you with his bloody sword raised to the heavens. But just like your pain, that emotion was ebbed away as you laid there dying.

And die you did. And your body laid there for who knows how long but when you woke up, oh you sprung up ready to fight but there wasn't a fight left to be had...the war was over...but you didn't know that until you woke up the second time. Not realizing that your body was next to be burned in the ditch as the battlefield was being cleared of all the corpses from both sides. A gruesome chore performed by the prisoners taken by Sparta.

You had no idea why the Gods healed you and brought you back from the dead, you didn't deserve a second chance (at the time you didn't realize that it was a power). You were blessed by the Gods and that's all that it was, people looked at you with both awe and envy. Some gave all of their iron and dearest family possessions as a gift to the Gods in hopes that their wishes were granted. They hated you and you did not care. You were unstoppable, everyone wanted your attention and your skills—it made you arrogant and stupid for years. And when you caught a pretty nasty gash across your back from a werewolf that ambushed you and your horse, your leathers had been torn and bloody by the time you speared your way through four of those beasts. But while there was blood, there was no wound...the only evidence were the scars it left behind.

Snap!

You turned your head slightly, a few strands of your hair falling in front of your ever sharp (y/e/c) eyes. You stayed perfectly still, eyes scanning the forest surrounding you but there was nothing after several moments. Just as well...with a loud sigh, you finally got up to put up your tent for the night and probably for the next few nights too. You slipped your hunting knife back into your boot but kept it unhooked just in case.

You lived in a time where guns existed but you were always better with a blade. You may not be an active misthios now (mercenary in today's world) but old habits were hard to kick. You were too old and too wise now, even if you didn't look a day over twenty-eight.

The next morning...

You woke with a start your grip around your obsidian hunting knife so tight your knuckles your skin strained against bone. You didn't have a dream but something woke you up, and it wasn't those damn birds chirping literally above your tint. With the help of the morning sun you could even see the spot where one of them pooped. Great. You laid there for a few more minutes, finally relaxed enough to move. You checked your surroundings again, walking around your camp but that feeling of unease didn't go away but it wasn't as strong.

Today was clearer than it was the day before though you still had to deal with the snow and the cold, not that either really bothered you too much. Leaving your camp behind, marking the trees so that you had a way to find your way back through these unfamiliar woods, you set off to find breakfast. You came to an edge, a cliff's peak and you went to stand on the edge of it—to maybe see the rest of the mountain you were exploring but something caught your immediate attention.

When was the last time you ever saw a castle? Not...not those tourist marks they have all over Europe but a castle. The place was eerie but most castles always felt that way to you...but this was different? It was as if the castle was looking right back at you, mocking you. From your vantage point you could make out the edges of a lake through the thick trees, you couldn't see it very well but you could tell it wasn't small nor was it man-made.

It was a pleasant surprise to discover this as you assumed that your trip would mostly be you exploring this cold ass mountain without a proper guide but you didn't need anyone to know why you were really up here, your reasons concerned no one but yourself. That and you knew you'd end up leading your guide. You were better off alone. Or at least that's what you kept telling yourself that but those words stopped being comforting a very long time ago. Not like fate was giving you much of a fucking choice though.

Your stomach growled, reminding you of your hunt...you glanced down at the village below the castle curiously before turning away from the ledge, the heavy aura of the castle still on your back.

~~

Fat and full, that's exactly how you'd describe yourself at the moment. There were more predators in the area than there were prey it seemed but the rabbit you caught seemed plentiful enough. With winter kicking in, the most worrisome predator in the woods would be hibernating leaving nothing but the wolves and maybe a mountain lion for you to deal with if you're lucky. You hefted your smaller backpack onto your back and left your camp, deciding to check out the village to see if you could learn more about the castle.

You were both excited and curious, you'd spent a majority of your modern life exploring the wonders of the Earth and using the currency you've collected throughout your lifetimes to fund whatever myth caught your eye. In other words, you were bored but the thought of war and fighting no longer made your blood sing or your heart race. You've done so much of that already, and lost so much because of it.

“Get back! Get back! Agh—GET THE FUCK BACK!”

Your legs stopped moving immediately and your gloved hand was already wrapped around the hilt of your hunting knife, ears trained. You heard growling and barking not too far from where you stood, maybe two or three hundred feet to your right just through those bushes and that fallen tree. It sounded as if someone was having a bit of trouble with a pack of wolves. Which struck you as odd, you were still pretty high up on the mountains and you hadn't seen anyone else up here in a week, so it couldn't have been a local...could it?

The growling grew more intense and there were sounds of a scuffle and grunts but the man still sounded alive.

And it wasn't your problem. Your days of coming to the rescue were over. You allowed your hand to fall from your knife. You got maybe seven steps away before the man spotted you, he caught a glimpse of your fur lined hood and started screaming for you to help him just as one of the wolves snapped the branch he was holding in half, forcing his back against a tree. His time was counting down now.

He was yelling so loud, you were sure even the villagers could hear him now. There was no way you could walk away now.

“Fucking hell.” with a heavy sigh, you dropped your backpack and stalked in the direction of the soon to be crime scene. You didn't feel the need to mask your presence, you wanted the wolves to know that you were there and that ultimately saved that man's life. The wolves were honed in on you the moment you stepped through the bush but three shots echoed through the small clearing before any of them could pounce in your direction. The echoes faded away quickly, and you sighed again watching the white snow stain red beneath the furry corpses.

The only other sound heard was the man's heavy breathing as he leaned against a tree. You looked down at your gun before putting it back in it's holster on your lower back, you may prefer blades but it was always better to have something and not need it, than to need it and not have it.

“Thank...thank you,”

You looked at the man with furrowed brows...just by looking at him, you knew that he wasn't a native but the moment he opened his mouth only confirmed it. He was American...you spotted all of his gear nearby, torn to shreds and you scoffed.

“I don't think camping is for you.”

“I don't think so either,” He tried for a smile but it was only a grimace, the blonde man pushed himself from the tree and approached you, carefully stepping around the wolves bodies, “I'm uh a bit lost, I guess.”

“And I'm leaving.”

“Wait!” he rushed around you, stopping you and you could've gone through the man if you wanted to...you were taller than him by an inch or two, and you definitely had more mass than he probably knew what to do with, “Listen, I'm obviously not from here, but I'm trying to find my daughter okay, she's—”

“I'm not from around here,” you held your hand to make him stop while simultaneously telling yourself that you're not about to get involved in someone else's mess and derail your own mission, “I'm sorry about your kid, but I can't help you.”

He frowned at you obviously not happy with your answer but he was quickly reaching into his pocket and any normal person, especially someone who is armed, would've taken a step back but you weren't some ordinary person. You simply raised an eyebrow, because you knew that he wasn't going to attack you even though he was probably fully capable of doing so. You assumed that he was about to dig out a baby picture or something but it was just a sheet of paper with writing on it. You took it before he could shove the damn thing in your face and you looked down at it carefully, keeping your face neutral.

“I can't read whatever language that is.”

You glared up at him from beneath your lashes, “And you think that I can?”

“Can you?” he shot back, and you rolled your eyes...your attention back to the paper before shoving it back in his hands, “Well?”

You nearly scowled at his impatience, “It's a mix of Romanian, Serbian and Tatar. Whoever sent that clearly doesn't want anyone else to know what's on it.”

“So you can read it then?”

“Bits and pieces,” You said with a shrug, “I'm not expert but someone named Beneviento is demanding a shorter route for wine delivery from that giant castle.”

He stared at you then down to the paper, which was full from top to bottom, then back to you, “What...that's all? Are you sure?? No, that can't be all...there has to be something about my daughter here! Here, please, just try again slower—”

“That's all I could read.” you shouldered past him, throwing your hood back up and ignoring his calls after you. Your backpack was exactly where you dropped it, you shook off the snow and threw it back on your back not caring about the cool wetness on your back now—you just wanted to get away from this area as quickly as possible. You should've used your knife as those gunshots gave away your position.

“Amateur hour everyone,” you grumbled under your breath...you veered off the path slightly, just in case he tried to follow you (wouldn't be the first time someone tried to force you to help them).

You'd maybe walked for a mile or two down the mountain before you noticed the hairs on the back of your neck standing, you chanced a casual glance over your shoulder but there was no one there, no man nor animal. Licking your dry lips you turned back around but as you were doing so, you caught something in your peripheral. A dark figure, twenty feet away and that's when you noticed how fucking quiet everything was around you...you forced yourself to keep walking even as a feeling of dread began crawling up your back, like two sharp fingers walking along the ridges of your spine.

Pushing the hood from your head, you whirled around with your knife drawn at your side gripping it with the intentions to kill but there was nothing there except two large obsidian feathers fluttering gently down onto the snow at your boots. Feathers?

Cool breath touched the base of your neck when you heard soft chuckling directly behind you. You turned around sharply, easily flipping your knife around but the mass of darkness in front of you disoriented you for a split second and that was all this creature needed. Before you could plunge your knife into it's feathery belly, a pale hand shot out and caught your wrist in a bruising grip as another hand curled itself around your throat, sharp nails oh so slightly pricking your skin.

You were about to kick away when the creature leaned forward, and it's face came from beneath the hood...only it wasn't an it, it was a she, though her entire face was hidden by the gold headgear you could see her lips and...and her eyes.

A pair of eyes you'd never forget in any of your lifetimes. It felt like a millennia ago when those eyes alone had you on your knees covered in fresh warm blood and exhausted from tearing through small armies.

Despite yourself, you were trembling in her ironclad grip, your hand that wasn't still trapped fruitlessly came up to wrap around her wrist as if that was going to help you. You both knew that it wouldn't. She brought you closer until your feet were no longer on the ground and you could feel the tip of your blade pressing against something...no, her...and your nose was nearly touching her helmet.

“ο μικρός μου πολεμιστής...” (my little warrior...) her cool breath washed over your face, her eyes still boring down into yours so intensely you swore you felt the heat, even as her hand tightened around your throat making you choke, but you were fighting against her... “επιτέλους ήρθες σπίτι μου...” her chuckle fell on deaf ears. (you've finally come home to me...)

~~

You were supposed to run into Alcina first 😭, but Miranda works too...(save the best for last obvi) I don't know I am playing Odyssey while waiting for this game to drop and I went The Old Guard route too so then I just ended up writing some shit, and I wanted to try something that's not so maiden-esque lol so I hope it's enjoyable at least...I honestly might make this a WIP...