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#I really hope I get to see her tomorrow
catgirlthot · 9 months
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cashweasel · 9 months
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Blorbo shenanigans
Unfortunately he does things like that all the time and I think kiara should get him back for it every time 💀😂
@night-triumphantt 😘🥰
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finiel · 1 year
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ms paint gideon to test my new laptop's palm sensitivity + stylus functionality (poor and acceptable respectively, if you wondered)
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another weekend, another job rejection!
#and now no more positions are open to apply to! for now at least. some more will probably drop soon. fuck i hope so.#love just. being fucking unable to even make it into the interview phase for my extraordinarily lofty career goal#Of Working In A Fucking Library#just. so thrilled.#kazoo noises#anyway tomorrow morning i have to find a time to talk to my rabbis bc if i dont figure shit out i have to pick between becoming jewish or#graduating on time and i have fucking NO ONE i can talk to this about and ive used up like all of my good will in all of my personal#relationships already and i am So Fucking Sick of feeling mean and petty and evil all the time but my options are either fucking smile and#be noticeably fake optimistic when i get called on my bullshit or burn like all three of my last remaining bridges#i just dont see why i cant even make it to interviews. like i can accept not being the right fit or whatever. but like. it really kinda is#everyone but me whos employed by now.#man. like listen. its not my professors fault. i get that i've got her in a bad position.#but she said ''sometimes we have to pick between sources of joy'' like MAN--#do NOT speak to me about that. absolutely the FUCK not.#you! are employed and have been in this field for over a decade and i work in a grocery store with no sign of luck changing.#i need to be in this section bc 1) im not fucking doing academia with a gun pulled on me#2) i need to actually get some kind of professional experience since its clear i can't actually get a job on merit so i guess i will pay to#go further into debt#anyway no one is around to talk to me about this and i hate bitching to my friends about how fucking hopeless i feel all the fucking time s#everyone please look away from my diary posting and think of me as sexy and fun and bubbly <3333#like. its literally no ones fault so i should not be this fucking resentful.#and yet.#yeah im probably not getting classed as a good person for another several years. shame. ive always wanted to be good.#library travails
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wayfinderships · 5 months
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The day is gonna end soon so I just wanted to say a final thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday <3 Thank you all so so much! You've all really made today so special!
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tvrningout · 9 months
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my sister: don’t get me anything for christmas bc you helped me get a dog
me: okay if you’re sure
me on dec 24, sneaking her gift under the tree:
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After took two weeks of ADHD self-sabbotage, I finally wrote the massive article I've been agonizing over for work (I wrote the entire thing in one sitting). I'm actually really happy with it, and it will never cease to amaze me how good of a writer I am when my brain actually cooperates with me.
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thegreatestheaver · 4 months
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unsure what my spiders' recent obsession with not having water is but im starting to get worried about them
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arionawrites · 6 months
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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be-good-to-bugs · 4 months
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you would think considering how much it loves sleeping that my body would, yknow, sleep when i ask it to. or even just when it has barely slept in days and im trying so hard to sleep
#the bin#uugghhhh i woke up at 1pm today bc my stupid idiot body refused to go to sleep at a reasonable time even tho i was alreday so sleep#deprived. i have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning :/ so i guess i wont be sleeping till then bc i still have to clean stuff and shower#maybe maybe maybe ill get a nap in but idk. bleh. i hope after i get home my stupid body will sleep. its gonna have to bc i work 7 hours the#next day so i cant do that too sleep deprived. i really really hope i dont have to :( hhhh#i wanted so bad to get high last night mosty bc my body has been refusing to sleep this past week but my sister n her boyfriend didnt come#over so i wasnt able to get more edibles :( or boxes for packing. hhh. i need to move so soon! i have no idea what day its even gonna be yet#i badeky have an idea of how much its gonna cost either. they finally gave me a gas cost estimate afeyr ive been asking for 3 weeks#hhh. well. whatever. i only have 4 more shifts. im kinda sad tbh. i really like working here. my coworkers are so nice#tomorrow is probs the last time ill ever see my fav coworker. shes so nice. shes so nice she used he/him for me and calls me orb#i just mentioned the name in passing once after i changed my pronouns on my nametag and she noticed and she remember!#and before she used it for me she stopped and asked if i was comfortable with it or if i wanted to keep it private. i have never EVER met#another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive#ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably#be ok. butbi really would prefer not to be.#i dont know why i havent been able to sleep properly. bleh. i do liek what edibles do to me its a fun time but its kinda annoying that i#cant use them very casually for sleep or pain. they incapacitate me for 14 hours minimum.#well. at least no matter how stressed i am abt everything. i will definitely be elsewhere in 18 days max. should be less than that.#i will miss this job and these coworkers but i am relived that i wont have to go to work for awhile. esp with this tooth pain.#and im so excited to be able to draw again! im glad im moving a month before artfight bc itll give me time to get shit prepped#i wanted so bad to participate last year but i wasnt able to come evn close to finishing any attacks bc i was too tired from working
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piedoesnotequalpi · 9 months
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I’m apparently even bad at coming up with fake titles so based entirely on what I’m currently listening to: “anyway the wind blows” for the fake fic thingy!
Hello sorry it took me a little while to answer this; I was trying to come up with an idea and also wanted to make sure my answer to yours didn't suck. I even did an actual one-shot for this instead of a plot outline.
Anyway I have grad school on the brain since I just, y'know, finished with that. This would've been done earlier, but my parents roped me into watching a weird Australian sitcom. Enjoy!
The problem with meeting your girlfriend in grad school, Katherine had decided, was that when it came time to finish grad school and move on to postdocs there was no guarantee you'd end up in the same place as said girlfriend.
She and Sarah had applied to as many geographically convenient positions as they could find - they'd even applied to a couple of the same universities. But at the end of the day, Sarah's only offer had been at Wellesley, and now that Katherine had heard back from all her interviews, she only had one offer too...in Virginia.
Katherine knew being at UVA would be a great opportunity, and the contract only lasted three years, but it still meant three years away from the person that she knew at this point was the love of her life. Sighing, she opened a new tab to look at transportation options between Boston and Charlottesville.
We should've gotten married, Katherine thought bitterly. Postdoc positions weren't exactly known for offering spousal appointments, but she couldn't help thinking it would've somehow changed things. But between the amount of time she and Sarah had been spending on their dissertations and the enjoyment she got out of telling her parents she still wasn't married, they'd never found the time. She wasn't opposed to it, but she was definitely too busy.
She was comparing the academic calendars for her and Sarah's respective universities when she heard the door open.
"Hey," Sarah said. She kicked her shoes off by the door before she came into the living room and dropped her bag onto the floor. She threw herself onto the couch next to Katherine and kissed the top of her head. "You're home early."
"No office hours today," Katherine reminded her. "Thought I'd leave early and get started on dinner, but then..."
"You got distracted?" Sarah offered.
"Something like that," Katherine murmured.
"Distracted by - " Sarah peered over her shoulder - "Charlottesville, Virginia? You hate the south."
"At least Charlottesville still goes below freezing sometimes." Katherine knew she was avoiding the topic, but in all her browsing calendars and plane schedules, she'd forgotten about the most important part - actually telling Sarah they'd be spending the next three years in a long-distance relationship.
"Hang on a minute." Sarah elbowed her. "You got the UVA position."
Katherine looked down at her keyboard. "Yes."
"Katherine!" Sarah exclaimed. "You got a job! Congratulations!" She threw her arms around her.
"Well, yes, but - "
Sarah pulled away from her. "Yeah?"
"It's a nine hour drive," Katherine reminded her. "Or a plane ride. And it's - "
"And it's worth it," Sarah finished. "You're worth it. Unless you don't - "
"I want to stay with you," Katherine confirmed. "It's just...distance is hard. The last time I tried, it crashed and burned, and what if it - "
"It'll be different this time," Sarah said. "We know how to communicate, we already live together, and us being long distance has a set end date."
"Only if some university is willing to hire both of us," Katherine muttered. "Or two universities in the same city."
"Well..." Sarah smiled as she reached for her bag. "I'd been debating when I should do this, but I - " She pulled out a box.
"You - you - " Katherine couldn't get the words out.
Sarah dropped to the floor. "Yeah." She opened the box to reveal a small emerald ring. "I probably should've thought of something to say first, but - Katherine. I am so, so lucky to call you my girlfriend, and I don't care where I end up after Wellesley, as long as it's with you. Will you - will you marry me?"
Katherine placed her laptop on the cushion next to her before she stood up, pulling Sarah up with her. "Yes!" She stood on her tiptoes to kiss Sarah, only distantly aware of Sarah putting the ring on her ring finer. "Yes, I'll marry you."
"I was a little worried you'd say no," Sarah said sheepishly. "With your parents and all."
"I care about you more than I care about going against my parents' expectations." Katherine laughed. "Besides, our wedding doesn't have to be traditional."
"You know," Sarah said thoughtfully, "If we get married before we graduate, we could both become Dr. Plumber-Jacobs."
"The doctors Plumber-Jacobs." Katherine grinned. "I like it. Think we can plan a wedding in a month?"
Sarah pulled her phone out of her pocket. "Who said anything about us planning it?"
Katherine looked down at the screen to see that Sarah was composing a text to her brother and his boyfriend. "I like the way you think."
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goodnight
#off to bed and we. shall see. if i keep my streak. i desperately hope i do.#but oh God help me it's hard#i ust want to harm so bad#well really i want to do more than harm but i Won't#i am so tired from work lately#ransom has her first vet appointment tomorrow#i have work tomorrow#it just#all stacking up i don't even know#had mildly difficult/thought provokin convo today#aaaaa i want to jump off my balcony#of course i won't i definitely won't but i Want To#gah i can't even explain why im feeling like this ugh hate it#puddleglum hours#i really need a decent cry but it's all bottled up inside me and the only way i know of releasing that in the way it feelin now is to harm#tw sh#ive been nearly ten and a half days i want to get to at least a fortnight#hmmm gonna bring puter to bed so i can listne to music real quiet tho bc i lost my headphones idk where htey are#watch me Not get much sleep huh#a dnthen be unfit for work tomorrow? its more likely tha you think#i also wish i had a lighter i need to acquire one next time im getting petrol#(no im not a smoker. just a pyromaniac.)#(mostly i have a healthy enough fear of fire after dressing a nasty burn wound on placement last y that i probably wouldn't harm using fire#probably.)#i dont know in my head is all ajumbled mess and i dont see how i am to keep going#and every time i say that i keep going anyhow and that thought makes it feel like im overreacting to all this which. of course i am.#nothin but a fool a very tired helpless useless one#was playing the piano earlier. played a movt from a concerto to which ive set words to a section at least (not the full thing yet)#'and though the night seems endless/until the storm has passed/still i will hope in God my trust/i will follow him'#my favourite lines from that
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theflyingfeeling · 1 year
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aaaarrghghgh 😭
#overthinking hurts my head how am i supposed to sleep tonight#why am i so stupid so stupid so stupid#when BC said PANIC PANIC PANIC i felt that lol#yes this is about the job situation again (see my post from yesterday)#i'm fairly hopeful that'll resolve itself when i call them and ask for another opportunity tomorrow morning#(my mom helped me come up with a convincing enough story about why i cancelled the interview lol)#but i'm so scared of my employement agency contact person hearing about this#in the best case scenario i could handle it by telling her i had to cancel due to personal reasons...#...but was lucky enough to get a new interview#and i feel i should contact her first before she notices they have opened that position for applications again#(she knows i applied for it so IF she notices this she might wonder WHY they have re-opened it#because if there's been qualified applicants (=me) they wouldn't have to do that)#in any case i'm so so scared she'll call the place and ask them if i really did apply and if i really do have an upcoming interview#if i do get another opportunity it's not gonna be a problem i hope (unless they tell her why i said i cancelled it#because in that case i'd probably have to actually tell the employment agency person the REAL reason why i cancelled)#in addition i'm scared of what it might look like to the people i'm hoping will hire me if someone from the employment agency calls them#to make sure their customer hasn't lied about applying and agreeing on an interview?!#that's gonna make me look sooooooo good lmao#to conclude. i'm screwed and a fucking idiot byeeee#(this is complicated i know sorry lol)
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regular-lord-reckoner · 9 months
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been having a bit of a hard time lately and the hits just keep coming because today our family friend that's staying with us, his wife got into a car accident
she's okay, thank god and so were the other people but they had to tow her car and she was really shaken up understandably
everyone's okay now but just...jesus christ, dude
also, i know i've been absent on here lately but i'm still around, just going through it. eventually i'm gonna get an actual break and will return in full but for now i'm just going to cross my fingers the rest of this year can be a little more gentle
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beepbeepdespair · 10 months
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GOD i wish i had the power and/or contacts to get people performance roles. there's a busker out today and she is one of the best fucking singers i have ever heard i'm not joking. she did i will always love you and i cried in a shop bc it was so beautiful. someone needs to put her in their musical right now
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cherrygarden · 11 months
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,
#really fucking pissed off right now 😭#two weeks ago I had a one night stand with a girl and it was my first time having sex and it was the biggest confidence booster#but I wasn't sure I was into her and she was doing an eurotrip so she left where I am a couple days later#I was so sure we were gonna drift away bc even though it was fine i don't do long distance and I wasn't attracted to her#but she kept texting me literally talking about how hot I was and how we should make romantic plans#and how she was planning on coming back here multiple times just to see me#she's coming this week and we had plans today to go to go on a cinema date and get high and probably fuck and it was great#but her flight kept getting delayed and alright I get it. not her fault#it's still an hour long flight we could've done something else or just walked around#but she just didn't text back until 8 pm#and only said ''sorry!!! I'm such a twat''#no explanation no nothing#I had triple texted before that offering things to do bc I was getting excited to see her#and she replied that and nothing else#i HATE getting bailed on and I hate feeling like I'm more earnest in a relationship than the other person#I feel so naive and stupid and I hate it 😭 literally two days ago I was telling my friends I hope the date isn't awkward#bc I don't know if I like her. and now I'm feeling sad over her not wanting to spend time with me#gaaaah hate being insecure about this#I left her on seen because I'm too pissed off and I know it's disproportionate and mostly my issue so I don't trust myself to text anything#but I'll see what she says tomorrow
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