#I really hope gets to heal in the end

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

Honestly, I'm not excited for Amethio's whole arc(??) It's gonna be so angsty and I'm not prepared.

In the opening we see how truly alone Amethio is, whilst everyone had happier scenes, especially the two scenes surrounding Amethio's being more family-like as some mentioned before, Amethio is alone, training intensly with his Corviknight and Ceruledge, probably to be recognised, be a more valuable asset, and to show that he isn't a kid anymore, he's an independent "adult", or he's adult enough to be treated like one, paired with the lyrics which are something along the lines of running to a future which is a simile(??) as Amethio did run to his future, he grew up too fast, he is mature for his age because he wants to prove that he is useful and that he isn't a kid anymore and is actually independent enough to be taken seriously.

I'm also interested in what will happen next, because imo these are the things that Amethio could/might do within the next episodes:

- Isolate himself in a fit of sadness and guilt for loosing a battle, he might even feel that he is not good enough, unworthy and that he Ceruledge down.

- He might even start to train intensly again, (this might be during his isolation or completely diffrent), and train more intense, channeling all his negative emotions and feelings into his training to get better in hopesnto show that he is good enough,

- He may also build his walls up higher, trying to squeeze any bit of emotion left in him out, and try to completely block everything out, which may cause him to push everyone away,

- He might go the completely diffrent route and his mask will crumble further until he's vulnerable around others, (most likely around Zir and Conia though, as he'll probably try to act mature around the admins, or as mature as he can)

- He may also take more missions to distract himself from the pain and guilt, hoping that these emotions will pass, (Although I do think that he wouldn't do this, mostly because he disobeyed his superior and I think he wouldn't be afraid to do it again,)

Idk though, I just really hope he gets to heal, (A meaning of Amethyst is 'healing' or smthng similar, and Gamfreak doesn't randomly choose names, so it only makes sense), if he doesn't get to heal, I'll re-write cannon to make sure he does. Gamefreak isn't rlly afraid to give trauma to sons (and daughter) of pokémon villains, so it would make sense for Amethio to be the son of Gibeon, but I just hope that he doesn't get physically abused by Gibeon, I'd cry istg-

[livegastrodonreaction]

I kind of wish project Sekai explored more how healing is absolutely not linear. especially with characters like Haruka and Shizuku and Mafuyu etc

[its-a-beautful-day]

Happy Caturday!

If you'd like a silly simple doodle of your pet, check out my Kofi @ WigglyWormWonders

[sunnibits]

also. also. (quickly putting on my beekeepers outfit to protect from the hive that I’m potentially whacking). thinking about izzy saying “blackbeard. it was us.” izzy telling ed that he fed his darkness on purpose, that he maintained blackbeard on purpose, because he needed him. thinking about how ed begs izzy not to go, tells him he can’t leave him. (he needs him). thinking about how ed could never truly heal until he left blackbeard behind. thinking about how blackbeard is really two people, not one. thinking about how izzy tells stede in season 1, “it’s my job is to make sure that edward is content”. how it’s been his purpose from the very beginning to protect edward, to help him be blackbeard, to be his right hand man. thinking about izzy saying “I wanna go”. thinking about all the meta from season 1 about ed keeping izzy in episode four on purpose, because he still needed him. thinking about izzy telling ed that he’s ready. ed is ready. (and it’s not just ed. izzy is ready too. I want to go. ed, I’m ready. I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need blackbeard anymore. you can let go). thinking about izzy looking up, seeing ed’s face, and softly saying “there he is”. (when was the last time izzy truly saw ed and felt at peace with it? when was the last time he didn’t search for something darker underneath? how soft were there faces then? how young, how unscarred was their skin?). thinking about izzy telling stede that he thinks he’s good for ed, that it took him a long time but that he sees it now. (he trusts stede now. he trusts him to take care of his eddie. he couldn’t trust him before, couldn’t see it, but he knows now. he knows he’ll be okay with stede). thinking about izzy using his last words to tell ed that he’s loved, that he’s surrounded by family. (you’re safe now. you’ll be safe without me. you’ll be safe without blackbeard). thinking about how blackbeard has always been a form of protection, of defense - now unneeded. but blackbeard was always two people knitted together. two scrappy boys in a costume, like a prey animal fluffed up to twice it’s size. a skin that can’t be shed without splitting them both apart. stitches that can’t be undone without bleeding.

they’re both ready. they’re letting go.

“there he is.”

[punkstylerecovery]

It's not very helpful going to therapists and hearing repeatedly "that's a lot for just you to be dealing with" and "oh, you're getting that [mess] from all sides" with no follow-up advice or anything.

Like, I appreciated it in the beginning but guys, I KNOW I'm in a mess, I know it's a lot for me to deal with alone (that's why i'm HERE), I know I'm stuck with a fuckload of people I'd be better of away from! I need your help dealing with living with it all anyway.

It's like they're reading from a script and I've overloaded their servers and just keep getting the same pre-coded response. It's so frustrating.

[starbuck]

second night of Murder Mystery DONE all went well i am FREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

[taegularities]

i wish i had the words to explain what yoongi and his d-day did for my mental health this year. i really wish i had the power to somehow let him know that i related to every word he said in that album and everything he spoke about in his documentary, and that his wisdom and reassurances really pushed me forward like nothing else all these months. ugh i wish.

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

/my god y'all this is gonna be one of the most inconsistently drawn updates yet with how my meds' sedation affected me between panels (the left being from last week's attempts skjdfnsds 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️)

I'll still need a bit more time, but I think we're Slowly getting back there in terms of my art's momentum huhuu 🙏✨

[sevenyeargap]

practicing gratitude about this past year tonight and it IS actually helping?? a lot????????? unbelievable

[selfconsumerofmywoes]

okay i like the split outfit thing but honestly that’s the only part of that whole bi-generation thing i was into

[anulithots]

So that could've been a mini-spiral, here's a thing that helped.

Uhmm... I'm going to tag @holdmyteaplease and @dancinginsepia, you all may like this <3

Context is that the others are in the "news watching phase" and I don't like my existence being political. (But sarcasm is great, that was the moral of the story.)

ANYWHO-

Specifically make a playlist to songs you've had the "nirvana lots of stimming" thing for. The ones that you've played over and over again for days and hummed along and danced to in the closet. Just those ones. Not any of the "good vibes ones" or even the "ooh character daydreams ones" just the ones you've actively felt the uber-happy-serotonin to. (Although in mine I added a few more melancholy ones that still give me happy chemicals, just make sure the most jammie jam ones are first.)

Mine's here because why not:

Okie dokie, that's part one.

The second part is the assigning a thought process the role of "caretaker". I story-fied this so that there are pixies that take residence in Anuli's head because of mycorrhizal symbiosis and only Naegi (the language processing, presentable one) can speak, so fae tells Anuli to use faer thoughts to give Squioo (the caretaker) a voice, and I really really want to include snippets of on-the-spot prose but maybe at the end.

Anywho, this "caretaker" thought process is there to soothe you whenever you need them. Mine calls me "bean" and says a lot of "I know, it's okay" and any help I need with doing the next task and not holding onto the spiral thoughts.

In fact! Thoughts become most damaging when they are OUR thoughts. They aren't! Most of the time, they are offered from that collection of subconscious childhood sponge stuff. You collected that, yes, but not by choice, so none of that is yours, they are only meant to help you when you need it.

And there was this one podcast my parents listened to in the car (long drives <3) and it talked about the four parts of the brain (Theoretically, they are nice guides, not foolproof, but nice. It makes me feel less alone - that was cheesy - in my head). They go like this:

The presentable one. Think "masking". This is your presentably and plan-making part of your brain that likes to analyze things (for the sake of future things, I think hyperfixations are more of a "three" part of the brain... more on that later.) Very future focused and will try to keep you out of trouble in society. You can call upon this one for any logic things for the future.

The Danger one. The one that probably got you in that spiral. They are that scared child that needs to hide and protect themselves and get away from the danger. They are only a scared little one, so it's best to call upon the Caretaker at that point to calm them down.

The inner child. Hyperfixations and the present moment has all these wonderful things and let's have some fun and oooh squirrel and this one lives off dopamine and having fun and stimulation every second of the day. Can get in trouble though. And this one will probably use jokes to make you feel better. Also a little one.

Then there's the caretaker.

I sttttoorrryyyfiiiieeeddd them! (They used to be one being and before they split and Floa got in trouble and now they are banished and Naegi is working on a plan to get unbanished and I don't even know if they will be cannon yet but like... I love them and they are the roles that I use.)

----

SNIPPETS

TW for the idea that certain minorities/other groups can be "parasites" and harm the majority. (Sorry, don't know what the term for this would be.)

"I don't want to think about that fallen fairy nonsense. In fact, say another word about them and I'll find one... I'll rip it;s eyes out so it can see what horror its bringing to all of my innocent dryads. "

Maidoe nodded. Nodded. Not a single shift in faer behavior. Did fae- was Maidoe like that too?

Does fae think that of me?

The container shattered. Static latched along my neck, tightening. My breath caught in the fibers. Perhaps my heart burst, it's sticky web spun around my head. Blood trickled from my ears. It exposed me to everyone, my eyes would fall into the puddles, warm and sticky and my sight fell beneath the pools of blood sinking beneath all the horrors I've ever-

"You okay? You went..." Maidoe tilted faer head, "Well, you're staring at your feet like they've wronged you."

I'm a fallen fairy. I'm a fallen fairy. I'm a fallen fairy. I'm a fallen fairy I'm drowning I'm drowning

dying.

dying.

dying.

"F-fine" I breathed.

"You sure?"

Just that word was an arc, a million stories, all that I had left, any more and I would burst at the seams.

I nodded.

Maidoe smiled and turned back to the Mother Fairy, the one who- and fae was -

How could fae be two things? That's not moral ambiguity, that's a juxtaposition and a dichotomy and tonal dissonance and it didn't add anything it didn't make narrative sense-

'You're spiraling.'

I growled. I know that Naegi, I know, I'm sorry, I know, and it's not-

'Squioo could help. Fae's done so before, and we can have us fumbling in front of important figures, just think of what that would do to our reputation-'

Fibers wormed around my spine, snaked around my neck, pulled until it bled, swelled-

Squioo could fix it?

What do I do? How do I do it? Is it difficult because I can't, I'm sorry, it's not- but I'll try to- I can't promise-

My scalp throbbed. I would've pressed my hands to my head and tugged at roots and yet my fingertips remained by my sides.

'Just give faer access to your thoughts so fae can speak to you, since you think in... word-ish pictures?'

Stories. I'm sorry. Did I mess it up already? Predestined fate of the villain and I will burst and that will mess everything up and this is nothing I haven't heard before and it was so small what do I do what do I do-

'Just imagine one of those... how would you phrase it? Mentor figures? Except more of the subtle sort. A caretaker. Someone who will soothe you from this spiral, imagine a few words and Squioo will gain access from there.'

I stiffened. The whispers of a forgotten lullaby ringing in my ears, of broken windchimes and fae was hurt and angry and does Kamari think like that now-

'Try a sentence to start with.'

You're okay, little on- oh I- what if it doesn't work? Am I doing it right? What if it's- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

'Continue.'

You'll be okay, Anuli, I promise. We'll have a happy ending where we sing to the stars that we are free. It will be wonderous. Are you cold? Does that feel better?

If you wanted to stay you wouldn't have broken-

'Hello love. We'll take this one note at a time, okay?'

I bit the inside of my mouth, the sobs scratching at the confines. Okay

'Can you focus on the insides of your nose for me? And when you're ready, take a deep breath, whenever you're ready. Okay?'

I'll burst.

'That's okay. Do you want to try your palms instead? Can you watch those?'

My fingers twitched at my sides. Like this?

'Yes, very good love. Do your palms feel cold, hot?'

Hot and twitchy.

'That's alright love. Just watch it for now, any sensations?'

Yes.

'Can you tell me about them?'

I breathed out, hitched and shaky. They have... sparkles? Waves of almost wind but thicker, soft and... bouncy... like moss? But clouds?

'Cloudy moss must be very soft.'

A spurt of laughter mixed with swollen sobs. It's floaty.

'That's wonderous love. We'll watch it together, okay?'

Okay.

The fibers and blood fell though my fingertips, leaving me a washed-out cloth, left in the rain for moons, and oh how hollow and wonderous the sunlight was.

Squioo?

'Yes?'

... You're wonderous. Thank you.

'Aw. Thank you love.'

[screamingatmyfandom]

Tyler better come back next season and slowly heal from the abuse and grooming and toxic mindset he has while being tentatively adopted by the group like a feral coyote that hangs around your yard.

[moe-broey]

FINALLY. DOWNSIZING MY PIERCINGS (MOST LIKELY IF MY PIERCER SAYS THEY'RE READY TO WHICH I'M P SURE THEY ARE BUT I WAS WRONG THE FIRST TIME)

[renah]

Finally caught up with the Oshi no Ko manga and had a blast, it is really good, I just....... hope that...... I'm not misinterpreting the authors intentions nor Ruby's feelings in the most recent chapters..........

[starbuck]

I remember back when The Mountain Goats No Children was a meme on here seeing a post that went “I hope you live, i hope we both live,” and it making me SO angry…

And this was before I had ever even listened to the song (or anything by TMG for that matter), but now, knowing that John wrote the song, and specifically the line “I hope you die, I hope we both die” in response to radio overplay of the sugary sweet I Hope You Dance, I feel even more vindicated, because like.

Yes. Ultimately my overall life philosophy is that I hope we all live… I would hope that goes without saying. But No Children isn’t a life philosophy. It’s about how sometimes everything sucks and you feel like shit and trapped and hopeless and angry and I HOPE YOU DIE, I HOPE WE BOTH DIE!!!!!!!!! And who can’t relate to that? Who has NEVER felt like that in their lives??????

I feel a little silly accusing what was ultimately just a joke meme post of Toxic Positivity, but that was the vibe I was getting from it, which is why it made me mad. As though it was sticking up its nose at a song it clearly had no understanding of and going “well I hope we both LIVE 😇😇” and like. Fuck you lol. It’s okay to feel negative emotions. It’s okay to be angry.

[cryptid-crusader]

I love Ranking of Kings and I thoroughly enjoyed season one but I would be lying if I said the whole Daida/Miranjo thing wasn't weird as hell.