#I should probably transplant that here of all places

[thesamoanqueen]

Blackwater XX

Warnings/AN: I should apologize for the drama but its my trademark at this point, I'll just say that there's a flashback and a couple of references to previous chapters. As soon as possible I'll create a masterlist dedicated to the series, because I have contents that I want to add since we are at the end. Lemme know if someone wants a tag there too~

Trouble ahead.

He showed up unexpectedly, grumbling about the mud that had gotten on his expensive shoes, the usual penguin-like gait and Jimmy rolled his eyes, waiting for him to finally reach them because they couldn't have continued at all if he was around. And it had nothing to do with a tactical move to hide plan from the enemy, it was simply impossible to ignore or avoid Paul Heyman and if once Jimmy would have laughed, now Paul was just annoying and the expression on Jey's face proved it.

- "Nice place, in your style" – he commented, without greeting or trying to pretend too much – "reminds me the days I used to come visit your dad, both of you were three, four maybe" – and Jimmy folded his arms.

Sure, their style wasn't their cousin's luxury stuff, the one Paul had accustomed him to. At that moment he was probably having breakfast in a restaurant downtown or a sauna to cool down his muscles, but he too had cut his teeth at the garage near Oak Wood Hills. Jimmy still remembered the afternoons spent there after school to see the red Jeep Cherokee that Roman had become obsessed with, he bought the damn car as soon as Uncle Sika came back from one of his trips and now instead he drove around in black businessman's SUVs and looking after the community with checks he couldn't spend on himself.

- "Did you get lost Og? Want me to call your daddy so he can pick you up?" – he asked and Paul must have had colic judging by his reaction.

- "No. Im here to talk."

- "Wow really?! Mind-blowing!"

The colic became a reproachful look at his sarcasm, but still Jimmy was not impressed and when Jey decided to come closer to support him, Paul wisely quit, once again showing off the best acting skills to save his ass.

- "Even though I remember what was said at the meeting, Im here with good intentions. Of course, it hurt me if I have to tell the truth, I don't understand where the aversion against me comes from... but despite this I couldn't refuse in my heart to help" – he began and Jimmy blinked confused.

- "Have you had a heart transplant?" – he urged, matching his attitude.

Paul didn't take that joke well either, but he had nothing to complain about, everyone knew how things were. The wiseman didn't help anyone if he didn't have something back, goodness was not among his qualities and it was impossible he had found some of it within himself now that he was personally involved. His feelings worked on command, according to occasion and business.

- "He thinks I'm dumb ass" – Jey said out of nowhere, staring at him.

He had crossed the edge since the boys' were dragged into the family mess and now his goal was just putting an end to it all. For him that war was an unbearable burden, Jimmy knew how he was, he knew Jey just wanted to start over, have some peace and he didn't like Paul's fake visit because it also added provocation to his worries. He would probably have put up with Roman, but not Paul, Paul wasn't family to him and those turns of phrase were making him nervous.

He heard the wiseman noises, trying to stay in control even though Jey's gaze didn’t help his attempts.

- "What? No, of course not, I’d never think bad about you! The Tribal Chief had chosen you as his right-hand man, a fool would not have had such an honor or right to speak in family business."

He thinks we're both dumb.

That stunt pushed Jimmy to clench his fists in annoyance, but didn't have time to silence Paul because his brother really didn't seem in the mood that day and had come forward again.

- "I had no right. He take all the decisions, with you, from day one."

He hadn't been around when that deal or alliance or whatever it was between him and Roman had come about, he'd been forced away from home for months, but Jey was there and kept him updated on everything. They had kept him on the sidelines of the family business from the beginning and the right-hand man title with their tricks had become a joke they made real when it suited them. Jey had taken it seriously despite everything, he had committed to the vision and tried, but it only make him run everywhere and get beaten. When Jimmy came back everything was already done and things had even gotten worse after.

- "Jey…" - he heard Paul negotiating trying to slow things down, realizing maybe that his sweet words were no longer having the planned effect - "when you're at the top you often find yourself in unpleasant situations, it's not for everyone, you're starting to understand it too how it is bearing the weight of that position. At the meeting you made some choices... let's say questionable ones... listening an advice would have been right for you if I may, to judge pros and cons. I'm here to offer you a second chance, I care about you even if you don’t care about the wiseman."

Jimmy hadn't expected his brother to discuss those terms in front of the elders, it had been strange and even he had been amazed, because Jey hadn't talked to him first about anything. But whatever plan he had if he had one, leaving a door open for Solo and even Y/N, Jey didn't need any second chances, especially not thanks to Paul. Jimmy was there to cover his back and it would always be like this, he didn't need counselors and dogs licking his feet to sleep better at night.

I can handle him.

His offer echoed through the link, but Jey didn't answer.

- "I know you're angry now and maybe it won't seem that way, but all this will help you, trust me it can be good for you, it's part of your journey to take the place of the Tribal Chief one day" – he persisted and Jimmy decided to step forward, ready to send him back to where he came from with good ass kick.

- "Imma take his place next week" – Jey stopped him, voice far too calm.

The day. It was just a week away. At the dawn after the harvest moon things would no longer be the same. Jimmy had been hoping for a change for years now, in the last few months he had chased it like a breath of air, now that was so close it was an almost surreal feeling, but Jey already seemed in control and ready.

- "It could happen... of course..." - Paul hesitated, avoiding answering to Jey push - "its essential, however, that the family is preserved and all of this, lemme tell you, is a dangerous gamble now. The elders have agreed to restore order, but we're all worried about what will happen next, them, me, your parents, even Y/N... poor girl, she can't rest knowing what’s going on and what could come" - he tried, pulling out an apologetic face that he could have avoid considering what relationship he had with Y/N.

- "None of them should be. The only one who needs to worry is you, because when I'm done, you'd better be far away. Bring back your advice, speeches and ass to my cousin, Og, don’t make say it twice" – Jey quickly silenced him though, stopping his tantrum by placing a hand on his shoulder.

Jimmy watched him stiffen as if someone had growled at him, face pale and shaken, his gaze going from Jey's fingers to eyes, which had been fixed on him from the moment he showed up. The realization of failure hit him right in front of them, a mixture of affront, anxiety and worry that Jimmy watched Paul shake off in the same way as Jey's hand, scrambling a few steps back to make room between them. He nodded to who knows who, body shaking as he sorted out his expensive clothes and pride.

The harvest moon was near, so their mother said. That year it was time to reap what they had sown.

***

Devil's Point, that's what the sign they passed on the way said and it really must have been one of devil’s tricks, because Y/N felt her stomach flipped. Or maybe wasn't the devil, maybe it was just another perfect date, pleasant anxiety, wine and fresh air caressing her warm face, sun slowly sinking beyond the strip of sand and trees, setting the sky on fire. Maybe the devil was Roman, with his gentleman manner, so confident, constantly eyeing her, always attentive, his low velvet voice. The bond had always been there, in her veins, in her bones. An invisible impulse born with them, as their lives went on and years passed, omnipresent, indissoluble, inevitable despite miles and obstacles. And more Y/N lingered in that trap easier it seemed to fall, normal deserving the life she hadn't had, a security she didn't know and now all around her, emanating from Roman.

Where has he been all this time? We were alone…

- "Have you ever looked for me?" – she asked out of nowhere, putting the dessert away.

A chocolate cake, because it was her favorite and he worked hard to please her, learning quickly and put into practice even the most insignificant details.

Roman looked surprised at the change of subject, putting down his glass.

- "Have you ever looked for me before that evening, when you found me at the camping?" – she asked again, feeling anxiety suddenly hit even though it had been her idea to investigate, happiness quickly dissolve into doubts.

Y/N didn't even know why she asked. It was an uncomfortable question, the search for a mate was a now past custom, too low probabilities and a world where alternatives had now become norm. It was stupid to expect something and unnecessarily provocative, what's more in their case, after all the first few months problems, it sounded a bit like an accusation or an attempt to ruin plans. Roman however didn't lose his composure and she saw him take a deep breath, brow furrowed as he remembered.

- "Years ago. When I finished college, did it for a while, then stopped."

- "Why?"

He looked at her in silence, but he didn't seem angry or bothered.

She needed to hear it, to know.

- "… had become frustrating. I needed to focus on what I could accomplish."

So real. So true.

Few could say they were lucky enough to find their other half. Rare cases, exceptions. Was it sad to meet someone, choose them and fit in? No, most people out there did it like that, she herself had witnessed it with her parents before the horror, but sometimes people couldn't even find someone, sometimes they were not chosen or stopped wanting each other and then yes, it became sad. For Y/N having someone in her life had never been an aspiration, a dream to cherish when night became too cold or silence too heavy. Getting attached was a risk, risks were dangerous and in her case, as an omega, alone and without a family or a community, it was better to avoid rather than defend. She had to be smart, loneliness had kept her alive, had kept her going, was the possibility of filling the void that scared Y/N. It scared her to get used to someone and lose everything again. She knew what Roman was talking about, a perpetual aftertaste on her lips when she moved away from a place and now she was founding out that she had never really been alone. She had always had a chance, someone waiting for her, ready to fill that void that for Y/N had become like an old illness she lived with.

Roman had been looking for her, among so many people, even if only for a while he really had and it was… so reassuring.

- "You didn't" – she heard him reflect, moving closer to put his jacket on her shoulders.

There was knowledge in his voice, a heavy bitterness, as if he didn't need to hear Y/N say it. She watched him take another sip of wine to warm himself or perhaps wash away the taste of that thought, enduring the cool evening for her.

- "I did it once… just once" – she admitted, surprising him and even herself.

She had never thought about that day before, but memory had hit her soon through her she-wolf, perhaps to console him. She didn’t like that look on his face, he was better all cocky and flirting.

- "I have been in foster care for couple of years after I lost my parents. I went from one house to another, it didn't work and I really didn't want to stay. There was a brunette white girl in one of the families, she didn't like me, talking behind my back all the time... I told her I’d find you and make her regret it" – she said, shaking her head at the thought of that childish menace.

Y/N didn't remember the reason for their fight, it could have been anything, she was an unbearable girl herself at the time, but she knew how she had felt. It was vivid in her memory. That sense of not belonging, absolute loneliness, anger, so much anger at the idea of being and being able to be just a stray in the future. The world is too big a place when life decides to give its worst lessons. Y/N had always grown up quickly, she had always learned running, what to be without roots, what to do if there is no one waiting.

- "We can pay her a visit" – Roman proposed casually and Y/N stared at him, because of all the things he could have said, she hadn't expected that.

No pitying comments, no words of comfort or judgement, just a blind complicit willingness to indulge her past madness.

- "Mmh I'm tempted" – she giggled softly.

- "What happened?" – heard him ask and pointed to her arm, where there was a scar similar to the one he had.

- "I stole her dad’s car and destroyed their fence" - she said, making him frown.

She had gotten into that pick-up without knowing how to drive or what to do, it didn’t end well, they caught her immediately and in hurry she had taken everything and everyone down. One of the poles around property had broken the pick-up window and the wire wrapped around it had threatened to blow her arm off, it was a miracle she hadn't fainted there. One of the biggest dumb act of her life and at the same time another lesson, proving Y/N she shouldn't be carried away by her omega impulses, it didn't bring anything good.

- "I stayed in town for a while I think, then left without looking back. I have no idea what happened to the pick-up or her. I didn't find you though... it was enough for me."

Admitting it, thinking about it, made her feel vulnerable. She didn't like that feeling. That attempt had been a failure from the start, chances of meeting him simply by walking a few miles, going to any city, any street, had been zero and even if he had been there, messed up as she was by pain, Y/N wouldn't even know she had found him. She had been stupid, irresponsible, mindless but realizing when it got dark she was still hopelessly alone had been worse.

She shrugged, picking up the dessert to distract and control herself.

It was over now.

- "We'll make things right, you have my word. It will be enough to be together, there's no need to think about it" – she heard Roman assure, once again without excuses or pity, firm in his intentions – "no more car rides though"– he added with a reproachful look that made her smile.

No, there was no need to think about the past. Everything had already changed and Y/N had learned her lesson, but maybe it was time to learn something else, trying not to run away this time. It seemed easy at the time and yes it really all came down to being enough for each other, filling the void with their bond.

For days Roman's routine had always been the same, calculated to the second, with no margin for error or change. He woke up before dawn, shower, breakfast and run, spend the morning in the gym, then lunch and gym again until dinner time, after which he lock himself in the office taking care of the documents Paul brought or business that required his supervision, and then join her in bed when it was already late night and repeat everything the next day. He was locked in a bubble, focused on a single goal, counting minutes, preparing in advance for whatever would or could happen. An absolute, maniacal dedication that Y/N somehow admired. It made her proud to see that he was capable of so much and yet it also made her sad.

Because in the wild run of that family war, she was just a spectator. She repeated to herself that she had to be patient, be understanding, that she had to put aside anxieties and bad moods to support him as better as she could, but it weighed on her. She did whatever not to show it, not to think about it, and despite her efforts Y/N felt everything around her emptying and cooling, her sacrifices devalued and even ignored. They almost didn’t speak to each other anymore and certainly not about what they should have because there was no time for doing it, they didn’t spend together and when that happened he was focused on something else, Y/N had the feeling of having gone back to the days when they were two strangers, two separate worlds united by a thin wire.

She didn't want that, they weren't like that, they had both worked hard to make things work, succeeding, they had truly found themselves at the end. The idea they were affecting their relationship, the possibility to distance themselves so bad to spend a life like that, wasn't something Y/N could bear. They had overcome differences, they shouldn't have burned everything because they didn't see things the same way in war where their relationship was not in play. They just had to meet once again and remember. He had taught her that and Y/N hadn't believed him for a long time, but they really needed their bond.

On the now empty table on the patio, she opened the floor plan of her old house, the one she had had to leave and Roman had given her back. It was nothing compared to what she had now, but it could become something, maybe just for them, a place where nothing and no one could disturb them.

***

Day after day his body pushed further and further, urged by pressure, focused on a single goal from which Roman couldn’t look away. He couldn't afford any mistakes with Jey, Roman knew he could beat him and he would, but his cousin knew him better than any other out there. They were certainly on two different levels, however Roman couldn't allow him to prove anything if he wanted to regain the absolute control that the elders had questioned due to too many mistakes in those months. And it was for these reasons that getting out of his head, stopping and having those breaks had become an annoying obligation that he fulfilled in the shortest time and avoiding any extra thoughts. Lose focus was a weakness, give ground an advantage, something he couldn't tolerate.

When he closed the door behind him, the house was silent as if he were the only one around. It had been like this for a long time, but time had passed. Now it wasn’t empty, Y/N was there and not finding her in the living room as had been the case for days forced him to follow her trail to the outside. He expected to find her busy, but not to see her with all those papers on the table.

Why is she looking at them? Why she got that floor plan again?! Stop her. Now.

- "What are you doing?" – he asked, voice heavy and she immediately raised her head with a weak smile, one that she could have addressed to anyone, not to him.

- "Nothing, I was waiting for you. Is it already time for your break?"

If it was an attempt to push away the conversation or pretend, it didn't work. He knew those documents, he had signed them and he had been clear telling her not to get any strange ideas about her family's old house, and yet she was there looking at them page by page at a moment like this.

- "I asked you what you think you are doing Y/N" – he repeated seriously, convincing her to put them down.

- "I was keeping myself busy while I waited for you to finish. I answered."

He saw Y/N keep her gaze on him, head held high, back straight, but Roman still sensed what was behind, tension, heavy air. It was since he said he would no longer have regrets that Roman had seen her react like this and in the last few days the atmosphere had gotten even worse. She didn't comment, didn't ask, she stopped trying to argue, she was good at not showing it, but his wolf could sense it when he lay down next to her at night, saw the way she looked at him. It wasn't a good idea for her to punish his cousins despite what they had done to him, she couldn't stand the prospect of a fight, she had promised to stand by his side no matter what and after a year she still rejected his mark when she shouldn't have even had to choose whether to have it or not, now she also took out the floor plan of her old house even though he had given her another one, one for them, better.

We told her not to act like this, she doesn't need that house. We did everything, we gave everything to her.

He had spent the last year dedicating himself to their bond, proving time and time again that he was worthy, that he would be a good mate for her, he was doing so even facing his own family. Shielding their future family even before their bloodline was born. Jey e Jimmy had ruined his plans, it wasn’t his fault, he was risking everything for what they would have built together, for their future. He had proven who he was, Y/N had to know, no one before him had ever achieved so much, no one would ever bear such a burden, there was no alpha out there on his level able to take care of her and anyone else. She couldn't think about them again, she couldn’t doubt, it was crazy!

- "What Im doing is to keep everything for us, protect what we have" – he explained to her for the umpteenth time, seeing Y/N stop that attempt of a smile understanding what direction their conversation was taking, as he approached the table.

He didn't like losing his temper with her, he didn't want to, but Y/N had a fastlane to pushing him in any situation and that was definitely the wrong one. Why she was throwing it in his face? At home, while he spent the days preparing to end the mess out there and start again together?!

- "You say it all the time, I know."

Her and her mouth…

- "Because that's the only thing that matters, not sitting here fantasizing about alternatives."

- "Ain't fantasizing about anything. You're so focused that we don't spend more than ten minutes together, I thought we could have a break for a bit, do something together when it's all over... but I guess it's a no if you react like that."

No, she couldn't blame him. This mess wasn't his fault, he was fixing it, it wasn't on him!

- "I don't have time to plan these things, not when I have all the work to do and problems keep piling up! I told you this too. You should have get it by now what has priority and instead we are here discussing because you keep putting these ideas in your head!"

- "My apologies, my Tribal Chief, is that good?" – he heard her reply, mocking him and he froze.

He looked at her angrily, as if they were back to the days when she couldn't stand him and he was always on the verge of exploding. He looked at her out of his mind, mouth twitching, but she wasn't even giving him attention, too busy keeping her eyes somewhere other than him, in an act of submission that was more a provocation than an apology. He ran a hand over his beard, clenching his jaw, but it was just too much and he lowered himself, leaning on the table to tower over her. Her scent, so familiar, usually so comforting, immediately filled his lungs, a regenerating peace that clashed with their fatigue and that Roman felt once more from Y/N, her body stiffening as soon as his breath hit her cheek.

He was the Tribal Chief and would remain so until God woke him up again. People out there could have planned trials, clashes, attacks, anything, nothing would have changed. But she was different, she was not one of those folks. Y/N might not have his mark, she might claim every freedom she wanted, Roman would put up with it to please her, to make her happy, because she deserved it, but still didn't change anything. They wouldn't go back to those hellish days where they were nothing.

- "I'm more than that to you" – he reminded, seeing her nod.

- "I know" – she replied immediately, finally turning around.

Her eyes, dark as the water of the river that ran through Roman’s land, almost seemed to suck him in. Two sharp chasms where he had looked for her for months, until found her huddled at the bottom waiting for him. Roman had dragged her out of there, he had given her everything, all of himself and he would do it again every day, without holding back or thinking about it and that was exactly why he was acting like that. If it wasn't for him, she would still be there, alone and with no future.

- "Make that stuff disappear before I do it" – he ordered, straightening up.

Y/N didn't move, her eyes still on him, as Roman decided he'd had enough of that pause, walking away. Her reaction reached him through the bond, when he crossed the threshold to go back inside: a mixture of anger, pain and sadness.

It hurts.

It hit him like a wave, alarming his wolf despite the fight, but it disappeared just as quickly, as if Y/N had wiped it away and Roman took a second to look at her through the windows, check, while she gathered everything on the table, head down and in silence.

He had to focus on what needed to be done. Distractions were just more problems.

We’re doing it for everyone. She will understand soon.

***

She had put everything back in his office, locking the desk drawer almost throwing away the key.

Why is he acting like this? What did we do wrong?

Her she-wolf felt confused, hurt and so was Y/N, with a good amount of anger on top of that. She was trying with all of herself, she was doing everything every day to make things work, to not disappoint him, to be up to the task, to not miss the opportunity for a good life. She had learned to ignore what didn't require a reaction, to be understanding when with anyone else would have freaked out, she was trying to be a better version of herself for her sake and for Roman. Was it such a bad idea? She knew Roman was fighting for their place, for his packland, but she hadn't suggested to leave everything and disappear, she would never have done it because she knew what it meant, she just thought they might have a safe space somewhere else... in a future less sad and complicated. That house was important to Y/N, she wanted to do her part, help, give back doing something like Roman had done with the house they lived in now, share.

It's already his though.

His property... that's why he snapped?

Roman had considered it a waste of time, a fantasy to be put away... after all, why he should pay attention to something no one wanted to take away at that moment? something far from his family war, from the packland. It already belonged to him, her she-wolf was right to justify him, Y/N had pushed him first, there was nothing to share or fix there and Jimmy's words came back to her mind. She had thought about doing something for them and instead she had really wasted time.

“The house… you bought it to give her nowhere to run away from you.”

It was a gift. For us.

Roman had said so and Y/N had felt so special. But it had his name on it, everything, every sheet of paper.

He wanted to make us happy. The best for us.

“I don't want you to go there, okay? This is your place now, it's your home and you have to stay here. But one day maybe we can fix it and go together.”

One day. Maybe…

Together.

Maybe? now the memory sounded like a dad tricking his daughter into not throwing a tantrum.

Smell of aftershave mixed with something familiar distracted Y/N, reminding her that she was still in the office and she turned to stare at the door just before seeing Paul arrive with a folder of documents in his arms.

- "Y/N! I thought you were out for one of your runs" – he said after a second too long, tone surprised and suspicious, as he looked at her standing there –"… you alright? "

No one was allowed to go upstairs unless it was necessary, but business those days seemed a matter of life and death, so it was hardly surprising. The last safe place for her would have been the bathroom.

- "You seem a bit…"

- "Take comments for yourself, there's no point in having a conversation" – she said, moving away from the desk with the intention of disappearing, but Paul wouldn't have been Paul if he hadn't decided to ruin her day already messed up.

- "Of course not, but I think you’ll want to know I went to talk with the twins. Didn’t go as hoped. Jey… he doesn't listen" – he admitted with disappointment, taking her place to add more documents to those already placed everywhere and Y/N finally recognized what that other scent on him was.

- "He doesn't like you, it was pretty obvious."

The idea of talking sense to Jey had been stupid. Maybe Jimmy could have been a possibility even if he was the one who started shit, he would have talked to a wall regardless of his sympathies, but Jey? No, Jey wasn't made for those things and both him and Y/N shared the same opinion of Paul. Sure he had had more time to learn to tolerate the so called wiseman, but Y/N had known from the very first moment he wouldn't accept any proposal Paul was going to make him.

- "You do though. He allowed Solo and you to stay if… well you know – he threw it there with such nonchalance, but she wasn't willing to tolerate, it was the wrong day – "he’s attached to you, he think about you as someone to protect."

What is he trying to say?!

- "What I know is that they shouldn't fight and that you Paul, said you would make sure to avoid it."

The brilliant idea of saving her during the meeting a few days before had taken Y/N by surprise too, there was no agreement or plan behind it, she didn't even know why at that moment, with everything that was happening, Jey had decided to expose himself for her. She was almost absolutely certain it wasn't something normal in situations like the one they were in, she was Roman's mate and Jey was threatening to take everything away from him after all, but whatever was the reason it didn't matter because it wasn't what they needed to focus on, especially not Paul.

- "I fear that stopping everything is no longer an option, we don’t have time, they have sworn in front of the family now. Neither of them can back out" – heard him say with a funeral face that didn’t inspire pity in her.

- "So that ridicolous meeting was the point of no return?!" – she snapped and he choked, hands reaching out in an attempt to stop her when Y/N nerves were undergoing yet another stress test.

She respected Roman's family, she respected their traditions, but it was unthinkable to Y/N that a handshake was an unbreakable pact, not when both sides were risking everything and whoever was supposed to advise them, stop them, watched or made things worse. She couldn't, it was something she couldn’t understand. They were a family, they had to act like a family, not fighting.

- "I wouldn't talk like that, let's try to breath now okay? Think about it. There are other ways to swing things in our favor, I'm already working on something. An idea in the right ears works wonders."

- "You're working on something" – she repeated, feeling blood go straight to her head.

Yep, sure, after all they had time to act with calm, there was a week to go and everything was already a disaster, but who cared? They could also sit, chat, think and judge who remained to be sacrificed so they could sip a drink under the patio when their bright future would be on hand.

- "I know, I understand your concern, but if you decided to be more cooperative it would help a lot and speed things up. The twins are stubborn, but Jey making all these decisions on his own could work to our advantage if we prove that he isn't capable of"- he tried, but it wasn't the right day for her to listen his sneaky little games.

- "I won't help you making anyone believe anything. You are the wiseman, be the wiseman, find a way, just do it" – she silenced him, leaving the office without waiting an answer.

She wanted that fight, everything to end once and for all, she wanted to go back to months ago when Y/N had thought she could have everything missing in her life, she wanted a family, Roman to annoy her with his daily nonsense instead of dramas to survive and manipulations on a daily basis. She was tired and for the first time since the beginning even if she tried hard… she couldn't see the end.

Breath. Calm down. Don’t lose control, we can’t allow it. Breath.

***

Right, left, right, left, right, left again. The punching bag was easy to predict every time Roman hit it, Jey wouldn't follow those times when they would have been face to face. At some point he would shift, it was the only way he had to really bring Roman down. As both man and wolf, Roman was bigger than his cousin, bruises and broken bones wouldn't keep him down once they were out there, Jey would have to do more and to do so he would have no choice. He was fast, he would aim for multiple points, targeting him, Roman only needed one, the right one, like with the punching bag.

When he hit it seriously, the chain holding it up gave way, sending it down and putting Roman face to face with Solo, standing silently there, even though he hadn't asked to see him.

- "What's up?" – he asked, catching his breath and kicking the punching bag away.

- "He was talking to Y/N upstairs" – Solo said, without mincing words and Roman stopped, staring at him, his sweaty brow furrowed in an attempt to understand.

Y/N couldn't stand the wiseman. She had never liked him, from the first day, it had taken months to convince her to not growl when he approached and now they were talking? Alone upstairs, while he was there training?

- "About what?" – Roman asked, but Solo shrugged his shoulders in a heavy silence Roman had to accept, hiding his annoyance with a grimace.

First in his land. Then in his family. Now in his house. No… not that time.

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @expert-texpert @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @meggylynnloves @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @joannasteez @reignsx @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @333creolelady @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @sortudademais @dreamsinfocus @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @southerngirl41 @smile1318 @wrestlingprincess80

[invis-o-william]

Day 2: Wish

All Amity Parkers knew that “wish” was practically a forbidden word. Years of interactions with Desiree had all but guaranteed that. Younger children weren’t even taught the word anymore out of an abundance of caution, after all nobody wanted a repeat of the “Toddler Wish-mageddon” that had occurred just a year prior. The firemen had been cleaning chocolate syrup out of the streets for weeks afterwards. This left the naive and unassuming newcomers as targets for Desire’s power, many of whom didn’t quite believe the city moniker of “The Most Haunted Place on Earth” yet. One of those newcomers was Thomas Kincade, and one way or another he too would learn the consequences of the word “wish”.

. . .

Thomas had barely lived in Amity Park a week before his coworkers started messing with him. He had just been sitting down in the breakroom for lunch when Craig from accounting had sidled up in the next chair.

“Oh hey Tom,you’re new to town, right?” he asked while grabbing a bowl from his bag.

Thomas hummed an affirmative while digging through the box chock full of leftover lo mein that his wife had left him that morning. “Yeah, just moved from Springfield like a week and a half ago, why? Also, it's Thomas.”

Craig pointed a fork his way, “Well you should probably invest in a lunch bag or something. That box is a prime target for the Box Ghost you know. He’s usually pretty harmless, but he’ll definitely steal that thing in a heartbeat if he sees you with it man.” He accentuated his point by tapping on said box with his fork.

Thomas sighed. Although he’d only lived in the city for under two weeks, he’d already seen more than enough of the “ghost tourist trap” schtick. “You can give the “ghost” thing a rest Craig, I think I’ll be fine.” he said with a roll of his eyes.

Craig shrugged, “Alright Tommy, don’t say I didn’t warn you. You transplants never quite believe it at first anyway.”

“It’s Thomas.” Thomas said pointedly. Craig made a noncommittal noise before digging into his meal.

. . .

The next day it happened again. Thomas was working at his computer when his deskmate Maria leaned over the divider.

“Hey Tim, did you see the news this morning?” she asked excitedly.

Slightly irritated, Thomas looked up. “No, I didn’t. And it’s Thomas.”

Maria didn’t seem to hear him as she waved her hands around, “They got some footage of the fight between Phantom and that big metal ghost last night on the corner of Park Place and Amity Row! It looked so intense, and the big ghost is so cool looking!” She practically squealed the last words.

Thomas groaned and let his head fall back. “Look, I get it, you guys are pulling my leg, ‘ha-ha lets haze the newbie’ kind of stuff, but its getting old.”

Huffing, Maria crossed her arms. “How long have you been here now? Two weeks? You can’t tell me that you haven’t seen one of the ghosts yet! Hell, blob ghosts are so common I’m surprised one hasn’t popped into your yard yet” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Just hope you don’t encounter any big ones, you definitely don’t want to run into the Fenton’s with their tank-on-wheels.”

With a sigh and a shake of his head Thomas turned back to his work as Maria shrugged and did the same.

. . .

Thomas was getting fed up. Everyone kept talking about ghosts. “Phantom’s been seen here” and “The whisps have been really active lately” and all that crap. How long was everyone going to pull this? Not to mention that nobody wanted to call him anything but nicknames. Why was calling him Thomas so hard for them???

The last straw was his boss stopping by his desk an hour before quitting time.

“Hey Timbo, everyone on the floor is going to head over to the Mitty Boulevard Bistro after work for dinner, company’s treat. Want to join?” he said, leaning an arm on the desk divider.

Thomas’ eye twitched. “Yeah, sure that’s fine. And please. It’s Thomas.”

His boss smiled, “Great! Originally we were going to head over to the Mexican place on Park Place, but they’re closed for cleanup from that ghost fight last night.”

“Yeah! You can thank Phantom for that, honestly the Bistro is sooo good. I like Mexican food and all, but you gotta try the Bistro’s fries Tim!” Maria said, perking up from her seat.

Thomas had had it. “Ghosts this, ghosts that! I’m so sick of this! Just give it a rest already! And my name. Is. THOMAS. Not Tim, not Tommy, just Thomas!” he cried as he picked up his coat and lunch box. “If this is how all of you are going to treat me, then count me out of the dinner. Honestly I wish you guys would just cut it out already!”

Everyone in the office went deadly silent and stared at Thomas with wide eyes.

“Thomas,” began Maria, “you shouldn’t say that word. I’m sorry that we were teasing you so much about your name, but you really shouldn’t say that word.”

Thomas scoffed, “What word?”

Everyone looked around nervously, “The “w” word,” his boss said, “there’s a ghost who grants them, usually in the worst ways possible.”

Thomas threw his hands up in the air. “What, wish? Now you’re telling me that there’s a wish-granting ghost? If there was, I'd wish she’d make you all see sense right now because ghosts aren’t real!”

The office was deadly still and many held their breath. There was always a chance Desiree wasn’t around, but some still expected her to appear and grant the wish.

Instead the Box Ghost popped in out of nowhere, grabbed Thomas’ lunch box, shouted “BEWARE!”, and vanished.

Thomas could say he knew better now to pack his lunch in a bag.

[kingdomhate]

Happiness and Tears (Part One)

A\N: I finished Awake with Hayden Christensen yesterday and omg- that movie had me in TEARS.

You had been waiting for Clayton to come back to you for a long time; he had recently joined the Army for before he had gotten the emergency call for the heart transplant, and you, his fiance, waited anxiously for him to come back. You haven't seen him for a few months, although you both called frequently and communicated whenever possible. You fiddled with your clothes and with your appearance, wanting nothing more than to look beautiful for him.

The moment his gorgeous blue eyes locked with yours, your breath had gotten stuck in your throat. He appeared to you in his military uniform and you could swear he had seen you get flustered, as he smiled. You hastily walked over to him, hugging him as tight as possible, burying your face in his chest as he chuckled and hugged you back. "Hi, love." He grinned at you. "Hey, Clay." You spoke, voice cracking slightly. You had never expected to be this emotional when you were reunited with your soon-to-be-husband, but you were. You brought your hands up to cup his cheeks, gently running your thumbs over them as you took in his appearance once more. From his sparkling eyes, proud smirk, to the way his hair was gelled and slicked to the side.

"I missed you so much, you know that?" He spoke to you, his hand going to your waist and other going to comb his fingers through your hair as he always loved to do. "I missed you more." You replied, a smile on your face. "Jack wants to see me." He said, sighing softly, but keeping his smirk. "I know." You sigh as well, looking at his uniform, your eyes gleaming as you traced the medals with your finger. "Do you want to come?" Clay asked you, his finger going to your chin to gently lift your head to look at him. "If you want." You answered. He lowered his head to yours and caught your lips in a sweet and longing kiss. Your heart beat pounded, to the point you were sure Clay could hear it too. He pulled back slightly, his face still close to yours and he looked at you, before placing his forehead against yours.

"Of course I want you to come with me." He smiled. He pulled all the way back and gazed down at you with adoration, you could see it in his eyes. "Don't you think you should change?" You ask playfully and he laughs slightly. "Yeah, probably should." He gives you one more quick kiss before hurrying inside with you to change out of his uniform. You hummed softly as you waited for him to get dressed. You were so delighted that he was home but at the same time so dejected that he had to immediately deal with his heart complications.

Alas, you still went with him once he got changed. Why wouldn't you? Clay and you were to be married, why would you let this get in your way? Ever since you met Clay, you knew he had heart problems and would eventually need a transplant, but it never stopped either of you from loving the other. Even if Lillith didn't like the idea of you both getting married, she knew there was nothing she could do as long as Clay loved you like he did. "Do you want me to wait out here?" You ask, once you both get into the Hospital and you walk to Jack's office. He shook his head, "Y\N, you can come in." He smiled at you and you nodded. Clay knocked on the door and Jack opened it. "Yeah? Oh, hey, Clay! What took you so long?" Jack chuckled, giving Clay a friendly hug. Clay laughed. "Just got back." Jack gave him a curt nod and gestured for you bot to come inside. "Hey, Y\N." Jack greeted you before sitting down and looking at Clay. Both of you sat side by side in front of Jack's desk and waited. "Hi, Jack." You replied sweetly.

"Well, Clay... You know you have to get this transplant, and it has to be soon." Jack reminded Clay, his voice serious. Clay nodded. "Would you like to schedule something soon?" Jack asked, his head tilted and his hands clasped up to his lips, both of his index fingers resting on his nose. "Yes. Yes, I do. Is there a specific time I gotta schedule for?" Clay asked, his hands politely in his lap. "No. But, we will have all of our best staff available tomorrow." Clay nodded. "Well then, tomorrow sounds good." Jack gave an affirmative nod and stood up, so did Clay and you. "See you tomorrow then." Jack smiled, shaking both of your hands.

Tags:

@darthgloris

@sweetcheesecakesblog

A\N again: Part two will be coming out either tomorrow or later today!

[emotionallychargedtowel]

the persistent and the cute

Over the last few days, there’s been a really interesting discussion in the comments of my reblog of the gifset @tinngun​ put together of the Utsukushii Kare season 2 finale kiss. I’m transplanting it here because 1) it seems like @tinngun​ could use a break from all those notifications and so forth 2) the conversation was totally getting buried and I think it might be interesting to folks who probably wouldn’t see it without it being brought back out into a main post. So, first, here’s a quick recap of what I posted when I reblogged the gifset post in the first place. Well, the part that’s pertinent to this conversation, at least. I commented on the tropeyness of the scene, including allusions to Hira and Kiyoi’s sexual relationship, which (from what I hear) gets quite a bit of time in the novels but by virtue of TV as a medium, is mostly not portrayed in the series. In other words, since this part of the relationship isn’t shown directly the vast majority of the time, it has to be sketched out through these allusions, including what I’d consider coded language. 

With regard to the coded terms, I brought up something @bookittyboop​ had mentioned to me previously, that “persistent” and “cute” have specific meanings in BL/yaoi/other related genres. Basically, someone labeled as “persistent” is more active/forceful sexually and someone labeled as “cute” is yielding/more passive, with these roles being mutually reinforcing (i.e. the more yielding the “cute” person is, the more forceful the “persistent” person becomes).

Then I talked about the way Hagiwara Riku’s voice shifts in the line, “Sorry, Kiyoi. I can’t wait any longer tonight.” I had checked out some clips of other roles of his and noticed that among other things, he really seems to use his voice to differentiate between characters. This helped me to notice how distinct his “can’t wait” voice was, and I thought this was probably a voice belonging to the “persistent” part of the character. And I was less sure about this, but I thought Yagi Yusei was playing into this as well by reacting to the voice by kind of melting/going all floppy in response to it (he’d been fairly swoony before that, but it definitely seemed to be going up a notch there).

Then @xnoel, perennial fountain of information, pointed me to this quote from an interview translation (highlighting added):

So yeah, this seems like confirmation! I mean, what else would Yagi be referring to when he talks about “Hira’s ‘dark’ side” than this authoritative husky whisper thing?

Then I got some really great comments which I’m going to share here with permission, in part because I asked if anyone could point me toward more information on the “persistent”/”cute” thing.

The ever-helpful @nieves-de-sugui​ said:

a little bit of translation notes for your analysis! Hira is saying, literally, "I can't hold back (anymore)" and it's a very tropey sentence to say in BL (and shoujo) right before getting it on.  It's also the main indicator of taking over/taking charge of the sexual encounter. There's a lot of one taking over and the other giving in. (I think there's a lot here about how Japanese people relate to sex and how it should be done).

(I said I’d run into this trope in Kdramas before as well.)

And then the kind and knowledgeable @bookittyboop​ pretty much took me to school on the whole persistent/cute dichotomy! They left comments in two clusters at different times so I’m putting a little dinkus (the line of asterisks or symbol that marks a transition between sections) in there to show where that was. Oh, and I took out some greetings/closings and stuff like that for flow purposes. Here we go:

The best source I can think of (because otherwise this is the kind of thing your get through osmosis once you've watched enough Japanese media) is @absolutebl's post [link added by me] on the whipping boy trope, though there is more to it. I would classify Hira as a whipping boy/attack dog/service top and Kiyoi as more of a kuudere than a tsundere as well as a spoiled prince/pampered princess.

Their characterization and dynamic (and derivatives) is a staple not only in bl but in Japanese media. You've got a male character (Hira) who is the unassuming or even the loser archetype but unearths or shows a "manly" and protective side in benefit of his loved ones (many times after his "cowardice" or "uselessness" has let them be hurt) and slowly makes something of himself.

Then you got a (normally female) character who is  a combination of cold and aloof (kuudere) or prickly and explosive (tsundere) but actually wants to be cherished and uses the gruff exterior as a way to protect herself from heartache/rejection.

The first archetype normally admires the second and wants to be at their service while the second sees the potential in them and the adoration makes them feel safe. In normal circumstances the first character has a submissive personality and the other a domineering one. The second character is also going to find emotional vulnerability extremely difficult to express. But in certain circumstances, there is a "mom friend hack" button.

* * *

When character 2 opens up/shows vulnerability, character 1 identifies a need in the other to be cared for and takes confidence from being  chosen to provide that. There's also gap moe (duality cuteness) and horny "I'm gonna worship you so good you will forget everything else,” "gotta get top marks at satisfying you," and "you're so cute I wanna eat you up" buttons.

The second character in turn feels attracted, safe and tethered by that show of confidence and let's themselves (their barriers) go more and more . Those energies feed into each other and that's how you get to our kiss scene. Sometimes(Kiyoi's case) they add coyness and shyness ("no, that's too much you beast") because God forbid the tsundere/kuudere lacks plausible deniability when they go back to their senses. (there's a "baby it's cold outside"element too)

This is where @absolutebl​ chimed in to say they thought @bookittyboop​ was doing “a GREAT job” with this explanation.

And I agreed, and thanked them for the time and effort involved in such a useful explanation, but asked about the “mom friend hack” because it was new to me. Here was their explanation:

The mom friend is the responsible, caring one, prepared for any eventuality. If you're a generally anxious person but also the mom friend, you've got a hack where you handily navigate  situations which would normally be embarrassing or anxiety-inducing if it's for your loved one's benefit.

For example:

-Buying condoms, pregnancy tests, emetics or other "embarrassing" stuff

-telling waitstaff they got an order wrong and to please change it

-asking a teacher to explain something again or revise an exam score

-giving a jerk a piece of your mind

Basically, you may not be able to stand for yourself or even make perfectly mundane, normal requests for your own sake, but the power of love lets you rationalize things, be brave, and do it for others.

I just realized I probably didn't clarify enough. Hira's thing is not exactly a "mom friend hack" but it's similar to it in the sense that "being needed" lets him overcome a mental block.

And they added, re: my theory about Kiyoi’s response to the Persistent Voice:

As for the kiss voice and Kiyoi's reaction, I too am convinced that was all on purpose. Bl drinks from yaoi manga, which has a treasure trove of visual cues and tropes. If there was a manga version, we'd probably have seen Hira suddenly get wolfy ears and shiny eyes + Kiyoi blushing like a maiden (maybe a fade to black with the dirtiest onomatopoeia known to man) to signal someone's getting railed within an inch of his life 😂. This is the real life equivalent.

So, yeah. Lots to think about here. I’m glad to know I seemed to be on the right track. It’s funny how there is so much material out there about some tropes and genre terms (googling seme and uke will get you more results than you know what to do with) while other tropes are harder to find anything about. (If only because of the vagaries of search terms, which might be a factor here.) If nothing else I’ll have this post to refer back to and I hope others will do the same if they find it at all useful.

Thanks again to @bookittyboop​ and @nieves-de-sugui​ for their thoughts! And to the illustrious @absolutebl​ for chiming in with praise (for @bookittyboop​) and confirmation.

postscript:

There are a couple of things I keep noticing about that kiss scene since this discussion that I wanted to point out. I guess the fact that, due to both of my reblogs, I had a gifset of the scene at the top of my profile for three days probably has something to do with it.

First, I hadn’t noticed how much Kiyoi really is slipping into a “cute” persona even before the Persistent Voice is used--just in response to Hira’s first kiss. His eyes get very soft and he does that affectionate head-bonk but the pièce de résistance, to my mind, is the rather childlike way he sticks out the end of his tongue. So, yeah. The first stage of cuteness comes before the Voice is even used.

Second, I hadn’t even reckoned with just how floppy Kiyoi gets after the Voice. He’s swaying around so much that Hira keeps having to grab him so he doesn’t just keel over. He’s gone almost boneless.

I guess it’s just really fascinating to me how this set of tropes can be so pervasive in one culture (or at least noteworthy chunks of it) and yet almost entirely novel to me. I mean, I was aware cultural differences existed, of course, but sometimes getting hit by the reality of them is still startling.

[idontknowreallywhy]

Estera Ch 5 - Lesson

(Prologue, Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4)

Have I finally got them out of the cave?

Will there be drama when they get to the surface?

Only one way to find out :)

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“Et tu, Brute?!”

“Then fall, Caesar” Estera muttered as a reflex. It always drove her crazy when the line was unfinished.

“Liberty! Freedom! Tyranny is dead!”

Her head snapped up in surprise to see him grinning. Well! She hadn’t expected him to actually know it. Laughing, she gestured behind him.

“If I promise not to stab you, can I have a quick look? I am a qualified first aider, maybe I can help?”

He backed into the wall.

“Honestly, it’s fine, just a little scratch and a bruise I can get it sorted when we are out.”

“It would be a good opportunity to demonstrate some of the lessons the children have learned in class? And it would keep their minds off other things.”

Right on cue, Sam appeared at her side with an eager expression and the smaller, more portable first aid kit she’d stowed in her rucksack just in case. If only she’d brought the large one.

“Oh wow that’s a big kit… you like to be prepared huh?”

She snorted derisively and beckoned him forward. There was a pause. She raised an eyebrow and waited.

His shoulders sagged and he walked towards her with a wry smile and a whispered “I am never going to live this down.”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Having checked there were definitely no hitherto hidden exits he could take advantage of, he reluctantly sat down where she indicated and allowed her to step behind him, hoping it she wouldn’t pass out again. The rock had clearly nicked a couple of enthusiastic vessels because the sticky sensation had crept all the way down to the small of his back and it probably looked way more dramatic than it was. He plastered on a reassuring smile for the kids but none were looking at him because they were all crowded around a large bottle of hand sanitiser. Wait, what? Little Alex had a gleam in his eye as he scrubbed up to the elbows like a surgeon preparing for a transplant.

The smile became a little fixed. He wasn’t sure he had consented to a team approach.

The teacher was explaining something and had their rapt attention. He let himself be carried along by her voice too, it had a musical quality to it that was soothing. Lucky that, for someone who worked with little kids. He drifted a little then jumped as her face appeared over his left shoulder and he suddenly realised she’d been talking directly to him.

“Can I cut your suit? It’s got a little mangled.”

“No.”

“Oh. It’s already quite damaged I’m afraid…”

He shook himself.

“Sorry, I mean you won’t be able to… Here, use this.” He palmed the micro laser cutter from his baldric. “Um… maybe don’t give that to the kids.”

He winced as he felt the air on his back. Fortunately it was only the one pair of hands that proceeded to clean the wound, the small ones had paired off and were enthusiastically swabbing each other instead. Her hands were cooler than Virgil’s, but had a similar level of confidence… He forced himself to relax.

Suddenly, the eager mini-medics all crowded round, watching intently. Then retreated like a wave and started covering each other in steri strips.

“Right, should we use warm or cold for bruising, everyone?”

“COOOOOOLD” came the unanimous reply.

She reappeared over his shoulder, accompanied by the cracking of instant cold packs. “I’m going pop a couple of these over your ribs then tape your suit up to hold them in place. I think it would be best to put your arm in a sling to reduce the chance of you pulling the shoulder wound open again.”

For the sake of being a good example to the children he agreed. That was the only reason. Nothing to do with the power of the teacher voice. He sighed… “Yes, Miss”.

A little hand slipped into his and he looked down at Alex who was looking back at him earnestly.

“It’s ok for rescuers to need rescuing sometimes isn’t it, Mr Scott?”

He was saved from finding an appropriate response by his brother breaking through the wall.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

There had been a LOT of hugging and relieved tears. The rescuer who introduced himself as Virgil had finally gathered the parents to give them some quick advice on symptoms of dust inhalation and when they should seek assistance. Meanwhile the blue-eyed one, Scott that was it, was left-handedly signing the kids’ tattered worksheets and distributing tiny die-cast thunderbird models to many squeals of delight. She chuckled to herself as Alex excitedly snatched a model of the red rocket ship before reconsidering and replacing it with the silver and blue one, gazing adoringly at his new favourite-person-in-the-whole-world.

With any luck, much of the trauma of the situation the children had experienced would be overshadowed by the wonder of meeting their heroes. As she watched the injured man pulling funny faces and offering high fives she realised that was entirely deliberate on their part.

She really should find out more about them. The kids, apparently, had encyclopaedic knowledge and it would be best if she could keep up with what was going to be the primary topic of conversation for the foreseeable. They might not forgive her ignorance as quickly as with the plesiosaurs.

It wasn’t that she had deliberately ignored the Thunderbirds’ existence, hard to do that when they were all over the press (and she had to keep confiscating the trading cards until the end of the school day). Scott certainly seemed a bit familiar so she must have seen a press conference or something at some stage. But, well, she’d generally tried to shield herself a little from constant news of disaster and destruction that she could do little to fix. She threw herself into small scale things. She tried not to get overwhelmed by a world determined to drown her in that same sense of helplessness she’d battled against as her country collapsed around her, as she’d stared into the horrified eyes of a soul who knew he was about to die...

Ahhhh, she shook herself, that was the third time today he’d slipped through her defences. She really had to practice her exercises more. Screwing up her face then relaxing it into a pleasant smile she began to approach the group of parents who were beginning to disperse after their medical debriefing.

And got hijacked by two EMTs keen to ask her about her fainting fit in the cave. One of the children must have tattled on her.

She smiled politely, assured them confidently that she had no head injury but suffered from mild claustrophobia and that plus the shock of everything was probably all it was. Feeling it would be hypocritical to refuse, she allowed them to check her vitals and make some notes while she finally looked up and took in the bizarre scene around her. Her eyes drifted past the gleaming silver rocket towards the huge green cargo ship she’d heard so much about. Plenty of room for pockets indeed… she stifled a laugh and her gaze settled on the two international rescue operatives sat on the side of the ramp leading into the ship. The second man had seemed nice, if somewhat harried and oddly concerned about his colleague.

Beyond the temporary floodlights the sun was beginning to set, the sky was clear and the early stars were visible. She was struck by how close she had come to not seeing them again and felt a wave of gratitude for the second chance.

Third, actually.

She looked up the stars and wished she could have thanked the person who’d given her the second.

And then gasped, she had nearly done it again! They were about to leave and she hadn’t actually managed to find the time to express her thanks. She extricated herself from the attentions of the EMTs and hurried over to the two men in blue, running through a few potential phrases in her mind. They’d probably heard it all before.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you again”

Scott half looked up from where he was perched on a boulder and smiled distractedly while his colleague fussed over him with a medi-scanner. Without his helmet on he looked older than she was expecting, maybe early 40s, a hint of grey shot through the chestnut at his temples and the shadows under his eyes and cheekbones made her wonder just how many “long days” the guy had experienced recently. There was a deep sense of tiredness about him.

“I didn’t want to let you go without properly thanking you for all your help down there” she unthinkingly stuck out her right hand, realising too slowly that he wasn’t going to be able to take it.

Before she could withdraw it he’d reached out with his left hand, twisted his wrist to grasp her right and shook it awkwardly.

“Well thank you for patching me up, you left this little guy with not a lot to do.”

There was a huff behind him prompting another grin which this time reached his eyes as he looked up at her. Blue… vivid, unmistakable blue, sparkled with amusement and a spike of adrenaline hit her like a train.

It was him.

He was still holding her hand but hers was numb and she couldn’t feel it. The ground she was standing on tilted suddenly and she tried to hold on tighter to steady herself but her muscles wouldn’t respond

And she was going to fall.

And she heard him scream.

But he was still smiling and hadn’t noticed the world was collapsing. His eyes held a question.

“Thank you for rescuing me” her voice cracked

“Again.”

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“Virgil, please, it’s alright. Look it’s just a bit of bruising and a few cuts which you’ll note are already expertly dressed.”

His brother scowled at the scanner which, for once, was backing up Scott’s assertion that he was fine.

Virgil’s litany of grumbling was interrupted by the reappearance of the teacher.

She was younger than he’d thought, probably early 30s, and he was amused to see that amongst the dusty strands of dark brown hair that had fallen from the practical knot at the back of her neck was a lock of bright blue. A little rebellious streak perhaps?

He gave her a tiny wink along with the backwards handshake and wondered how hard Virgil would kick him if he asked for her number.

The blood drained from her face as their eyes met. Huh, not the usual reaction to his attempts to flirt, he noted wryly, maybe he was losing his touch.

Wait, what did she mean “Again”? He frowned in confusion. When had they…?

The sense of unease rushed back into his bones and brought all of its howling friends.

The smell of rust, the taste of blood, a decade of phantoms.

Without conscious thought he was on his feet and had dragged his arm from the sling to grab her by the shoulders as he studied her face… it couldn’t be…

She visibly flinched but lifted her chin to hold his gaze.

Realising his mistake he hurriedly released her and tried to find words, any words… but none would come. His lips moved soundlessly as he stared. It couldn’t be, could it?

“Miss Hermaszewska, mummy says have you got my inhaler?”

She blinked and turned to follow the child who tugged at her sleeve.

Virgil had him by the good arm and was leading him back towards the ships, his concerned voice rumbling questions Scott couldn’t focus on right now. He tried to follow her and his brother’s grip tightened, restraining him. Fury and panic raged through his veins. He snarled and shook the unrelenting hands off violently, spinning to face the aggressor before the shocked face of his brother snapped him back to the present and his heart plummeted.

He ran for his ship and One was in the air before the seat had fully retracted.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[whiskeyswifty]

Hello, we're not mutuals, but I've been a long-time follower of yours, and I've always associated you with New York. So today, when my job told me they're sending me on a mission there next month, I immediately thought of you haha. This is my very first time visiting. I am staying over a week, but I'll be working weekdays up until like 5 PM. If you have time, could you please recommend me some must do/see things in your opinion? Thank you 💕

this is so incredibly sweet and lovely!! taylor swift move over I'M NEW YORK CITY NOW BITCH!! kiddingggggg but i'm still so warmed by you saying that. I'd be happy to be your unofficial tour guide of sorts, and i'll give you a mix of places that you should definitely see since you haven't been before and some fun offbeat places that might not be first on tourism lists but i particularly love. You can peruse the list and pick and choose as you wish! No pressure to do anything of course and i won't be offended if things don't seem interesting to you. Also this is in no particular order, just how they popped into my brain haha.

Grand Central Station - one of my absolute favorite places in the city. It's a architectural marvel from a bygone era (literally we don't build them like this anymore) and is actually as stunning as in pictures! The teal vaulted ceiling painted and lit up with constellations from the night sky, the original chandeliers, the Tennessee marble floors. It's also a fully working transit hub so you'll get to feel the hustle and bustle of the city. Lots to eat here too if you want a bite, like the famed Oyster bar or something quick from the food hall in the basement, which isn't much to write home about but convenient and hardly ever crowded. There's also a bar off the side of the station that used to be the office of a very wealthy financier, called The Campbell. One of the most stunning bars and lounges in the city and if you time it right, you can enjoy a drink or a bite to eat without a huge crowd!

2. The Met (aka The Metropolitan Museum of Art) - my personal favorite museum in the entire world, although i am biased and used to live a few blocks from the steps so it might just be the museum i've been to the most lol. However, it's phenomenal in it's range of pieces and in how immersive the curators try to make each exhibit. Instead of putting objects in cases, they try to display them in the context with which they were used! The Arms and Armor hall is my FAVORITE with several suits of armor on horseback parading down the middle of the whole exhibit, and flags hanging from the balconies that each represent one of the knights of the round table!! i mean how COOL is that!! Also, a must see is the temple of dendur, obviously. moved so Egypt could build a dam in the area it resided, they gave it as a gift to Kennedy for the millions he allocated to help Egypt preserve their monuments. it was accepted on behalf of his wife Jackie, who then was instrumental in *ahem* suggesting quite forcefully to the presidential successor LBJ that it be put indoors and not outdoors (obviously). go to the Met who agreed to pay for an entire addition just for it. It just so happens that the addition they built to house the temple has floor to ceiling windows that look up into the very apartment on 5th Ave that Jackie was living in at the time. Whether you find that a burst of sentimentality for her late husband or hubristic, that's up to you, it's probably a bit of both, but i love that story as it gives the temple a fun bit of context. Another highlight is the furniture collection, which sounds boring but to display them the met recreated entire ROOMS from the eras the furniture is from, including a full transplant of the living room of one of Frank Llyod Wright's most famous homes!! and you can walk IN IT. (i could go on for days, as could you wandering this museum and all of it's fantastic collections)

3. Time's Square - which is loud and dirty and crowded and horrendous BUT is still pretty magical, especially if you've never been. My advice, go late at night if you can for smaller crowds and it just looks so damn cool all lit up, even I can't deny.

4. The West Village - broad i know, but i'm a huge advocate for walking around residential areas when you visit a city. something my mom taught us as kids and it's a great way to get a feel for how people actually live and not just the Disneyland areas. also it provides a bit of a sensory and energy break on your trip as most residential areas are mellow. This is one of the more lively areas, but you'll find yourself wandering around stunning colonial town homes and adorable shops. It's a bit grimy and crowded with NYU kids in some parts, even on weeknights, but i think it adds to the charm of it. It's a lived in neighborhood! Washington Square park is a fun little central area to people watch, but honestly sitting at a cafe table anywhere is really fun just to see people walk by, ranging from 80 year old hippies who have lived there for their entire lives to 18 year old kids who look like the coolest people i've ever seen in my life. Also, you'll always find a swiftie taking a photo under the cornelia st. sign, so if you want a little piece of swiftie new york, that's an easy one to get. (there's a section that is particularly grubby and awful that is a series of blocks below west 4th under Washington square park and above Houston st, bordered on the east and west by Broadway and 6th ave respectively. It's not horrible, but it's super crowded and the less charming chunk of the area for sure. however feel free to venture down there for some trendy food and interesting shops if you're feeling up for it! a fun little store that's cool to peruse is called Chess Forum where they host chess tournaments but also sell incredibly intricate themed chess sets! don't go out of your way, but if you're around, pop in and check it out for five or so minutes)

5. Statue of Liberty (including the ferry itself) - something that should be overrated but really isn't! It's genuinely cool, even to me who's lived here for so long and to my friends who are lifelong new yorkers. It's such a monument in the truest sense of the word and honestly, bigger than you expect. It's not that you think it's going to be small, just the mere fact of seeing something you've only seen in photos, your brain will just be shocked at how big it is. No need to go up in it, imo, but do what you want! I think the last ferries leave around 5 each day so if you can make it out of work a biiiiiit early one day, and you're nearby, you can catch it! Not a must do of course, but if you find the time, it's one of those few things in life i have found that is worth it. Also, the ferry to and from there is a bonus sightseeing element as you get GREAT views of the tip of manhattan! makes for some gorgeous photos and one of the lesser known tips is manhattan as seen by a boat is one of the best views you'll get. If you can't make it to the official ferry tour, here is a pro tip: take the Staten Island Ferry. i KNOW that sounds weird, but the route to Staten Island is pretty much the same as the Statue of Liberty tour route. You won't stop at the island to get off and see the statue, BUT you'll get very close to it! Why the Staten Island Ferry? Well it runs all hours of the day and night and it's FREEEEEE. You can just hop back on the returning ferry and get double the views! You can board the ferry in Manhattan at the tippy tip on the bottom right at Whitehall terminal. The second best view of Manhattan is......

6. Brooklyn Bridge - another great monument that is open to you 24 hours a day if you cannot get out of work early enough. Another architectural marvel (which i'm super into so apologies if you don't care about buildings lol) but also a true monument! You can walk across it at any time of day and be sure to turn around half way for a spectacular view of manhattan. my advice to you, as corny as it is, do NOT turn around until you get halfway at least. the contrast of walking away from the city and turning around and seeing it up close like that is really a delight. I always make people i go with do that and they hate me until they turn around and then they're begrudgingly happy they listened. Also, truly any time of day is great, but if you happen to do it at dusk on a lovely spring day, oooooo boy it's glorious. I have dozens of stories about the bridge, as it's one of my favorite stories in the entire history of the world (again biased sorry but it's SUCH A GOOD STORY) but two anecdotes i'll tell you. 1. the man who was supposed to build the bridge was the son of the man who designed it, and he had everything ready to go but got sick and bedridden shortly after starting. So, his wife, who had been studying engineering alongside him this entire time, was taught by her husband specifically about bridge engineering as he was bedridden for ten years. Over the course of that time, she eventually took over as Chief Engineer on site and technically is the person who oversaw and instructed the construction of the bridge, her husband never really setting foot on the project site. Her name is Emily Roebling and for her work, they awarded her the privilege of being the first person to cross the bridge on opening day, leading the parade. Also, there is a street named after her on the Brooklyn side near the bridge. 2. It was the largest suspension bridge ever built at that time and people were freaked out by it, thinking it would fall. To prove to the public how sturdy it was, Emily enlisted the help of the circus star P.T. Barnum (yes that Barnum) who brought 21 elephants, including his star Jumbo, to cross the bridge!

7. Broadway rush tickets - since you sound like you're traveling alone, or at least with a small group, broadway rush tickets will be very easy for you to get! You can look up the process online, there are lots of resources. It's the only way to see something cheap these days, and even then it might not be so cheap. I'm not a huge broadway person so I can't say what is particularly good or bad, but currently Stereophonic is a hot new show that seems really interesting! It's more dramatic and play-esque than your typical dazzling brassy musical, so if you're into that, check it out!

8. Top of the Rock - most people will send you to the empire state building to see skyscraper level views. and that's good too, but here's the thing, you're IN the empire state building.... so you can't SEE it. people don't think of this and walk away from their new york visit with no photos of the damn thing because they stood on it instead. Also, it's a fenced in balcony for.... obvious reasons and much more limited in scope. Top of the Rock is not only in the very cool rockafeller center, which is fun to walk around and admire, but you can see the empire state building while up there! Also, it has northern AND southern views, all at the same time on the roof deck, with glass walls. So you get no obstructions! It's also situated a bit further north so you get a fantastic view of central park sprawling north. It's open until midnight, so after work you can get some dazzling sunset views or glittering cityscape night views.

Some food recs:

Pizza: the most controversial of all, and sooooooo particular to each person's taste. Most pizza places on Best Of lists are great, you can't go wrong. Word of advice to you though: L'Industrie is great, but the lines are insane and it's not THAT worth it. However, if you want a typical "slice" then look no further than these two:

Joe's - the most accessible since it's all over the city, but is honestly the perfect slice imo. Which means there's not much to it in terms of frills, but that's what tourists seem to not understand. it's just a damn good slice. Crust perfect, crispy and not droopy, sauce to cheese ratio is perfect, sauce has a bit of flavor but not too much. I go for the cheese cuz i'm basic but the pep is great too! Don't get anything else. Carmine's is the original shop but any of the locations are great.

Scarrs - this is my ACTUAL favorite slice, however there's only one location and it's pretty out of the way. It's on the LES, which is a fun place to wander if you don't mind a bit of grit and grime. Again, super simple, but my man mills his OWN FLOUR so he can get the right ratio. as far as i know, nobody else in new york is doing that. Dough is also fermented, so it has the perfect amount of crisp, tang, and saltiness. Also, Scarr is afro-latino which is rare in the pizza world, but a welcome wakeup call to all the italian goombahs slinging mediocre pies. As always, get the plain cheese, but the hotboi is so fucking good, don't miss it. and get the honey on top!!

Bagels: Honestly, anywhere you go will have great bagels. I've gone into the shittiest looking dump and gotten a bagel better than outside the tristate area. (Yes the water is what makes it great, it's been proven and it makes the pizza great too).

Personally, my favorite is Tompkins Square Bagels as i lived next to it for many many years. Bagel purists shut upppppp i don't wanna hear it!! They churn out bagels pretty frequently so you're likely to get a hot one! DONT get it toasted, especially if its a fresh bagel. It'll be perfect on it's own, but do what you must to enjoy it. You MUST however get an everything bagel, scallion cream cheese is optional but it's highly recommended. If they have it, the french toast bagel is wild and kind of sacrilegious, but soooooo fucking good if it's warm. get plain or if you wanna develop diabetes, birthday cream cheese if they got it.

Russ & Daughters - an absolute knockout place, both the storefront/bagel shop and the restaurant. It's incredibly stylized to evoke old school LES bagel counters of yore, but the quality is unmatched. There is usually a line, so i don't really emphasize this as a MUST GO place, as new yorkers don't wait in lines lol. But weekdays you might fare better! If you're a lox person, this is the place to get your bagel and lox. (i'm not, which is blasphemous to my jewish family, but i won't turn down one from Russ and Daughters).

Gonna list my other favs here just so you have some in other neighborhood: Baz Bagels (LES), Murray's Bagels (WV), Apollo Bagels (EV), H&H (UES), Orwashers (UES & UWS), Tal Bagels (various locations).

Other Food spots that i like that are pretty classic new york food!

Daily Provisions - get the BEC (bacon, egg, & cheese) to feel like a real new yorker. it's one of the more gourmet versions, but my god it's a good one. also, go early as you can to snag a cruller. one of the BEST doughnuts in the city.

Magnolia Bakery - GO ONLY FOR THE PUDDING. the cupcakes are mid as hell, you can feel the sugar granules in the frosting, not great. Their signature banana pudding is fantastic though, and if the seasonal one sounds good to you, grab that too! they offer very small sizes so you can try both, or a big tub if you want.

Veselka - another spot i kind of am biased about because i lived near it, but it's a CLASSIC new york haunt that doesn't exist anymore for the most part elsewhere. It's a Ukrainian diner from 50s, and has typical diner food and service, but the pierogis are the star here. Any kind, go nuts. Open 24/7 and always filled with NYU kids, but still retains that city-that-never-sleeps charm somehow.

Pastrami Queen - for.... a pastrami on rye sandwich lol if that wasn't clear. Most people will send you to Katz, which is fine! It's not what it used to be, but it is a very cool experience. The pastrami is still good, and the matzoball soup is good. Knish's are a little greasy for my taste though. Best pastrami though imo is at Pastrami Queen. one on UES and one on UWS (plus a location in the new moynihan train hall) so it's not super easy to get to, but i highly rec it.

Parm - now this is my biggest cheat rec. new yorkers will read this and go, pfffft who cares about Parm? Well, i'll tell you why. You might have heard of the famed rigatoni alla vodka from carbone, which is good! but not worth the hassle of going to carbone. You CAN get it at Parm though, which is much easier to get into, cheaper, and more relaxed. They have several locations and the rest of the menu is really solid! Meatballs are great, garlic bread is fantastic, and the italian sandwich is wonderful. They've always had the rigatoni on the menu for those that knew, but only recently has the secret got out and so they changed the name to say "carbone rigatoni alla vodka." Don't go out of your way, but for a trendy new york dish you can brag about, that's a little tip from me to you.

Peter Pan Donuts and Pastry shop - LITERALLY MY FAVORITE PLACE EVER ok it is just a 50's style donut counter, and yes it is in greenpoint which makes it almost impossible to get to. HOWEVER if you manage to make it out there, you're in for a treat. Any doughnut you get is fantastic, and the pretty green interior and counters are so delightful to sit and enjoy as you get frosting/powdered sugar all over yourself. i try not to hype this place up cuz i don't want it to be even more popular than it is with locals, but for you anon i'll let you have it.

Xi'an Famous Food - a great hand-pulled and hand ripped noodle chain that is somehow still pretty authentic despite it's many locations. Great lunch spot for while you work, which most of these recs aren't lol. If the menu is overwhelming, i rec N1 and N2, or N9 if you don't love spice.

Morgansterns Ice Cream - also something you can't really go wrong with all of the Best Of lists. but this one is my absolute fav. Their traditional flavors are all exceptionally creamy and delicious, but they always have wild flavors on deck! You can't sample them, so getting a scoop is a commitment, but for fun, pick a wild one that you think you'd like and dive in. They're great at balancing flavors and making it actually delicious, not just shocking instagram fodder, so you might surprise yourself!

Los Tacos No. 1 - another trendy place that is actually worth the hype. There might be lines here as well but they move quickly, and there are many locations! A great lunch spot to grab some quick tacos, and one of the first in the city to bring al pastor to the masses. If you're mexican or come from the southwest, you might be underwhelmed or skip it altogether. but for new york, this is a shockingly fantastic mainstream taco place, and more authentic than you'd get most places.

Other than those big things, my recommendation to anyone visiting is to wander! Everything below the 80s is pretty safe, despite what you hear. The financial district shuts down daily after about 6/7 pm so avoid that for evenings mainly because it's boring. If you see something in a store, pop in! Also this list is particularly New York Staples, but it's one of the most racially and ethnically diverse places in the world. Seriously. any kind of food you want, it's here, and it's made by someone from that exact country/community. A quick google and you'll probably find whatever you're looking for.

I hope you have an amazing trip and no pressure to do anything you don't want to, honestly! Pick the things that interest you and go with your gut. It's a bottomless city and there's no definitive list of things that make it a New York Trip. Locals will tell you one thing and ex-pats will tell you another and transplants will tell you something completely different. It has something for everyone, but not everything is for everyone, is what I like to tell people. The city is YOUR playground, so do whatever you want! Just make sure to tip your drivers and servers generously and ALWAYS walk at a steady pace and on the right side of the sidewalk. ❤️

[shion-yu]

False Alarm

Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. An early Cliff and Theo/Al story, mostly fluffy banter and then some angst. 2,810 words, no TWs but CWs low intensity hospital setting, transplant talk, mention of internalized homophobia.

Cliff wasn't sure what to make of Theo, the lawyer he was doing his summer internship with before he started his first semester at NYU. When Cliff thought about what a lawyer should look like, he had certain expectations. A lawyer was extremely formal, never smiled or laughed, never asked questions, and always wore a suit. The only one of these qualities that Theo possessed was the suit wearing, and even then he could occasionally be caught wearing khakis and a button down. 

The craziest thing about Theo though, was that he was openly gay and no one seemed to care. It floored Cliff. His mom had always looked down on gay couples they saw in public. She looked down on everyone, but especially people who "chose" to stand out. Yet here Theo was, with a big office overlooking the financial district and an incredible case record under his belt and nobody ever seemed to disrespect him. He even had a picture of his partner on his desk where anybody could see, including the clients who came for consultations and business partners whose opinions really mattered. Cliff didn't understand how Theo got away with it, but he did. It definitely left an impression.

This particular day though, Theo seemed frazzled and distracted. Cliff was sitting across from him in Theo's office just having his weekly check-in with the lawyer. Theo usually seemed very put together and focused, but today he kept checking his personal cell phone on his desk like he was waiting for something. "So Cliff," Theo said, "Still think you'd like to go to law school after your first month here?"

"I think so," Cliff said. He tried not to watch as Theo glanced at his phone yet again. "I like the research. And I like going to court."

"You've certainly got the brains for it," Theo said. "When you're at NYU, take lots of diverse classes. Everything can always tie back into law and make you better at practicing it."

"Thanks," Cliff said.

"No problem," Theo said casually, but he was immediately distracted when his phone buzzed with a call. He looked at the caller ID and nearly jumped out of his seat. "Sorry Cliff, I've got to take this," Theo said hurriedly. "You're fine here, just, hey, pour yourself a coffee or something." Theo motioned to the full coffee pot on one of his other desks and then stopped paying attention to Cliff.

Cliff tried not to be nosy and listen, but it was hard not to when they were in the same room. He made himself a cup of coffee even though he preferred tea and sipped awkwardly. He hoped it gave the impression he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation Theo was having that clearly was not about work. "Are you sure that's all it is?” Theo was saying, his voice concerned. “Tomorrow? What time? Does he need to stay overnight? NPO after midnight? Okay. Yes, of course. Thank you Doctor."

Theo set his phone down, took a deep breath and then sat back in his office chair. "Sorry Cliff," he said. "You can come back now."

Cliff awkwardly returned to his seat a cross from Theo, placing the steaming cup of coffee on a coaster at the edge of Theo's desk. "That was my partner's doctor, I've been waiting for that call, sorry to be so distracted," Theo said. "He's going to the hospital for a minor procedure tomorrow, so I probably won't see you for the rest of the week." 

"Oh," Cliff said. What else was he supposed to say? "I hope he's okay."

"He's fine, thank you," Theo said. "He's got a port, I don't know if you're familiar, it's like an IV in his chest. Anyways, it got infected so they're replacing it with a new one." Cliff honestly had no idea what Theo was talking about, but it sounded serious. It seemed Cliff wasn't very good at hiding his expression, because Theo added, "He's got a disease called cystic fibrosis, so he's in and out of the hospital a lot. I don't want to say it's not a big deal, but well, it's not an emergency. Don't worry." 

"Okay," Cliff said. He nodded to the framed photo on Theo's desk. In it, a slightly younger Theo had one arm slung over the shoulders over a guy with curly dark hair, thick glasses and dimples. "That's him, right?"

"Yup," Theo confirmed. "His name's Al. He's a good guy." The way Theo was smiling as he said this was different from the way Theo usually smiled at everybody else. Cliff didn't know how to define it - fond, perhaps? "Next time he comes around I'll let you meet him. You'd like him." Now Theo had a weirdly knowing look on his face, as if he understood something Cliff didn't. 

"Sure," Cliff said. He was so confused. 

His confusion didn't abate even when he did meet Al about three weeks later. Al was shorter than Theo and wore very casual clothing that stuck out in the law firm. His cheeks were pink compared to the rest of his olive skin, which Cliff soon realized was from coughing. Al coughed the entire time he was in the office to drop off a lunch for Theo, and he dragged a metal cylinder on wheels behind him that connected to clear oxygen tubing in his nose. Cliff was startled; the oxygen hadn't been in the picture, nor had he expected Al to sound quite so sick. But everybody else in the office seemed to know Al well and think nothing of it. Al himself seemed energetic and cheerful, which was not how Cliff pictured somebody sick in his head.

Still, Cliff wasn't used to sick people, even if Al was apparently not contagious. He was sort of hoping Theo had forgotten about his promise to let him meet Al, but Cliff had no such luck. "Al, this is my intern, Cliff Barrows," Theo said as he led Al right to Cliff's desk.

Obviously unable to hide when his boss stood right in front of him, Cliff stood up and forced a polite smile. "Nice to meet you," Cliff said, sticking his hand out to shake.

"Nice to meet you too! I finally meet the famous Cliff," Al grinned, shaking Cliff's hand. His grip was firm and sure, not weak at all.

"Famous in a good way," Theo reassured Cliff. "I told him all about what a good kid you are."

"Uh, thanks," Cliff said, trying to keep a questioning tone from creeping into his voice. He felt awkward standing right there in front of the two of them under scrutiny. "Um... I'm just gonna get back to work then," he said, sitting at his desk and typing something nonsensical into an open word document until he was sure the pair was no longer looking at him. 

Cliff tried to look subtle as the two men walked away. Theo led Al towards his office with one hand around Al's back, Al coughing as they went, but he was also laughing. Cliff had no idea how he could seem so happy. Cliff had googled cystic fibrosis when Theo had mentioned it and it didn't really sound like a laughing matter to him. It sounded incurable and painful. Then again, Cliff supposed they couldn't be gloomy all the time. Or maybe even most of the time, since Al and Theo seemed to be normal unlike Cliff who could indeed go around with a perpetually serious look on his face. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Al sat heavily in the chair on the client side of Theo's desk, coughing until Theo handed him a glass of water to sip on. "Thanks," he croaked, smiling up at his partner gratefully. 

Theo sat across the desk from Al in his chair. Although Al got to see Theo in his formal attire every day before and after work, seeing him wear it at work always felt different. Theo carried himself so confidentially and spoke with such a professional tone, it honestly made Al want to grab his tie and kiss him right there in the office. Theo's desk had definitely seen some action after hours before.

"Stop looking at me like that," Theo said, opening up the salad Al had brought him.

"Like what? I don't know what you're talking about," Al said innocently.

Theo mixed a packet of dressing up with his salad. "Like I'm a piece of meat."

"Aren't you?" 

Theo shook his head with a smirk. "You're so damn predictable," he said. "You keep your hands to yourself mister, I've got court later today. Thanks for the food." 

"You're welcome," Al said. "By the way, you were so right about that Cliff kid." 

"Right?" Theo said around a mouthful of lettuce. "He's definitely gay."

"So gay," Al agreed. "And adorably awkward.”

“He’s actually a better speaker than you might think,” Theo said thoughtfully. “When it comes to work stuff anyways,” he added, seeing Al’s incredulous look of doubt.

“He gave me the ‘wow, you must be dying’ look,” Al said. “You should probably tell him I’m fine. And that his face is an open book." 

Theo shrugged. “I don’t know how reassuring ‘My partner’s fine, just waiting for a double lung transplant’ is, but sure, I’ll tell him.”

Al rolled his eyes. “Thanks a lot,” he said sarcastically. “Anyways, I’m heading home. What do you want to eat tonight?” 

“Anything. Shake Shack. Anything."

"So... Shake Shack," Al said. 

"How did you know?" Theo grinned. "Okay, be careful on your way home baby. Wear your mask on the train."

"Ugh, Theo, it's July," Al whined, but Theo knew he would behave. Al was usually great about taking care of himself, but especially now when he couldn't risk any illnesses lest it ruin his chances of being on the transplant list. It was also why he tried not to leave the house much these days, but he'd had a doctors appointment a few blocks away so had taken the opportunity of already being out to visit Theo. 

Theo kissed Al goodbye and watched his partner walk down the street from the windows in his office, dragging the wheeled oxygen tank behind him. He shook his head, wishing Al would just take a cab, but Al hated wasting money if he could do it the cheaper way and Theo suspected it was far more about independence than cost at this point in their lives. 

They'd been together about five years now and had lived with each other since day one, having met as roommates. Theo had been in his last year of law school while Al was struggling after the death of his husband. At first they were just friends and that was enough. Right person, wrong time Theo thought, because it didn't seem like Al was ready for anything more. But then Al had gotten really sick and although he insisted Theo didn't need to worry about it, it was impossible. Theo spent every day studying at the hospital so that Al wouldn’t be alone until feelings became inevitable and Al made the first move. The rest was history. 

Theo smiled to himself thinking about Al, absently eating his salad until he was interrupted by his phone ringing. It was Al, which was odd because Al had only just left his office. "Babe? You okay?" Theo answered.

"Meet me at the hospital," Al said in a breathless rush. "I’ve got lungs."

Theo was speechless. This was the moment they'd dreamed of for months, and it was happening now. Right now. "Theo?" Theo realized he hadn’t said anything in response.

"Holy shit. Holy shit, I love you so much. Yeah, okay, I'm coming."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

False alarms for this sort of thing should be illegal, Theo thought to himself angrily. The doctor had just left the room and explained he was so sorry, but the lungs weren't a perfect match after all. They were going to someone else - someone who wasn't Albert. Al had been congenial about it, nodding as if it didn't bother him. But Theo was livid and could barely contain his anger as the doctor closed the door. 

The silence in the room was heavy. Al had been changed into a gown, given CHG bath and gotten labs done, and had his port hooked up to fluids. He sat there in the hospital bed where they'd waited with excitement for the past two hours, now lost for words. 

"It's not fair," Theo said finally. His hands were balled into fists, which were shaking. "How can they do this?" Al was quiet. He looked out the window with a calmness that Theo didn't understand. "You're not mad?" 

"No," Al said softly. "I'm not mad. Can we go home though?" He was already going for his clothes, unbuttoning his gown. "Hey, if you hurry you can still make it to court this afternoon." 

Theo shook his head. "I don't care about court. I already told work I didn't know when I'd be back. They're going to be more surprised when I say nevermind." 

"Sorry," Al said, as if he’d ruined a casual date and not lost the opportunity of a lifetime after it was crudely dangled in front of him.

"Don't apologize," Theo said. "If anything, this place should be apologizing to you. How are you so calm?"

Al shrugged. "Someone else is getting lungs. Someone who needs them. I'm not going to be mad about that."

Theo sighed. "You're right, but I'm still pissed. Can I be pissed for you?"

Al seemed to consider it for several seconds and then nodded. "Yeah. You can be pissed for both of us, okay?" 

"I gotcha, baby," Theo said. He forced a tight smile at Al, who gave a tired smile back. 

Al was discharged and they arrived home around dinner time. Theo was starving, but Al said he didn't feel like eating. Theo didn’t feel like seeing anybody else for the rest of the day, even a delivery driver, and ended up throwing a frozen pizza in the oven. He called Al to the table when it was ready, hoping the smell would entice him. "You should eat just a little," Theo said. 

"I'm really not hungry," Al said quietly. "I just want to go to bed and have this day be over."

Theo felt a pang of pity and sighed. "I know. Just a few bites?"

Al finished half a slice and then shuffled off to bed. Theo ate the rest of the pizza alone, letting all the negative thoughts he was having get to him for just a few minutes. He chewed the pizza like it had personally done something offensive to him and then scrubbed the dishes clean, his stomach aching from eating too much. Then, he took a shower and forced himself to let all the tension leave him. He imagined it swirling down the drain with the soapy water, leaving him exhausted but calm. As upset as Theo was, Al was the one these things were happening to. He had to be strong for Al. 

Theo went to the bathroom, now in fresh pajamas and ready to be there for his partner. Al was lying on his side but not asleep and peeked over his shoulder at Theo. Theo sat next to him on bed and rested a hand on Al's arm. "Should we talk about it?" He asked.

"Nah. What is there to talk about?" Al said in his usual gentle tone. If Theo didn't know any better, he'd think Al didn't care, or was totally fine. But he also knew that wasn't possible and Al hid his feelings well. 

"What happened today was kind of crazy," Theo said carefully. "Crazy and honestly... not okay. It was like the biggest news of your life and then the biggest let down. It's a lot to take in."

Al sat up and looked at Theo. His green eyes were always so forbearing. "It is a lot," he said. "But ya know, I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be. Coz when I got the call, I didn't think, 'I'm going to live.' All I could think was, if I die, I'm not ready. So... Maybe today just wasn't the right time."

Theo hadn't expected Al to say anything like that. He swallowed down the lump that had risen in his throat and took Al's hands in his own. "You're right. It wasn't meant to be, and maybe it was for the better."

Al nodded in agreement, leaning forward to press his forehead against Theo's. "I love you, Theo," he said. "Thanks for being there for me." 

"I love you too," Theo said, taking Al’s hands in his own and squeezing them. "And next time you get the call, it's going to be the right match."

[rozcdust]

Addicted

Pairing: Ran Haitani x f!reader x Kakucho Hitto

Genre: Crack, SMAU

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: Canon divergent, ooc, profanity, substance abuse, kind of locker room talk

masterlist

It wasn’t always, but since throwing himself in the world of Bonten and near constant threats of death, it got to be in Kakucho’s nature to investigate people before engaging for a prolonged period of time, to gather enough blackmail and dirty secrets to be a threat.

Yet, there was hardly anything dirty to be found on you.

And not because you didn’t have plenty of filthy, nasty little secrets, no, it was because you were so goddamn open about them.

It was one of those lazy afternoons, where after the meeting, everyone stuck around for a little longer, lounging on sofas and just existing in each other’s presence, some chatting, some doing their own thing, but together nonetheless.

He suspected Kokonoi was the only one actually working, though, as Mikey was probably just watching Netflix on his phone, snacking, Ran engaging in idle chat with Mochi, absentmindedly petting Rindou’s hair as the younger tried to sleep, head placed on Haruchiyo’s lap and legs over Kakucho’s.

Kakucho sighed, scrolling on his laptop, through the archive of files he dug up on you, and they told him everything and nothing.

There were no police records, you didn’t have a file, although he found a report on your mother’s car accident. She died when you were a little over 3 years old, and you were an only child, your father never married afterwards, passing two years ago due to complications during a liver transplant.

Your love for games of luck was a well-known fact, as was your engagement to Naoto fucking Tachibana out of all people, but the two of you seemingly broke it off out of nowhere, mere few weeks before the wedding.

You also inherited your father’s IT firm, and seemed to run it well.

Kakucho couldn’t find anything else.

Sanzu peeked over his shoulders, reading along, cockily smirking before Kakucho even had a chance to slam his laptop shut.

“Searching up our y/n? My, my, Kakucho, are you interested in her?”

Kakucho scoffed, throwing the man a nasty look, but refused to relent into Sanzu’s teasing.

“I’d suggest you go for it, she liked you, and she’s not the type to be on the market for long, never was. Plenty of men and women interested in warming her bed.”

“Plenty of douchebags interested in a bitch.” Kokonoi muttered from the side, gaze still fixed on his work, “If you want someone to fuck you up, go ahead, sign up for the circus.”

Sanzu laughed.

The conversation seemingly caught Mikey’s attention, and he threw a look between Kakucho and Kokonoi, seemingly pondering about something.

“She is a blood-sucking fiend, correct, but she has her good qualities too.” Mikey mused, shutting everyone up in a second as everyone fixated their gaze on him, “She’ll never leave you high and dry, at least. Kinda reminds me of Ran over here.”

“Excuse me, I’d be an excellent boyfriend.” Ran grumbled, turning his nose up in offence when Rindou, Sanzu and Kokonoi started cackling.

“With your commitment issues, the tendency to ghost people and 24-hour napping? Doubtful.”

His face turning serious now, Ran looked at Kakucho, seemingly deep in thought.

Deep in trying to pretend he wasn’t a sad and lonely loser with a desperate crush.

“Go for it Kaku, why not? You’ve been alone in a while, a few months of having fun won’t kill you.”

Kakucho opened his mouth to at least try and defend himself, but Kokonoi cut him off firmly.

“Don’t. Go for anyone else, hell, you’d be better off going for fucking Sanzu-“

“Hey! I am very happily taken!”

“Than her. You deserve at least some joy in your misery of a life, and you won’t get it with her.”

Kakucho wasn’t sure if he should be complimented or insulted.

Mikey and Sanzu rolled their eyes simultaneously.

“Put it to rest, Kokonoi.”

“Hey, Kakucho.” Sanzu smirked suddenly, and Kakucho wasn’t sure he liked it when the older man put his hand on his shoulder, “I know y/n’s going out tonight, to Ran’s and Rin’s club, actually. Why not stop by?”

Kakucho pondered over it.

The day of the car accident was coming up, and he could use a little harmless fun to get it off his mind.

“I hate it already!” Draken yelled into your ear, face sour as one of his arms was wrapped around Inui’s waist, the other occupied with his drink.

“C’mon, Kenny boy, live a little! It’s fun!” You yelled back, the smile echoed into your cheeks, containing the urge to laugh at your friend’s miserable state.

At least the rest knew how to have some fun.

Mitsuya and Hakkai were dancing together, fingers interlaced, way too slow for the rushed beat of the song, but they’ve always been like that, way too lovey-dovey and cute and borderline making everyone else gag.

At least the pet shop bitches knew how to have fun, shaking their hips to the beat and grinding all over each other, borderline fucking on the dance floor, as God always intended.

Flicking your eyes up to Draken and Inui, you could already tell they’d be good for nothing in that department, if anything, they’ll probably have a lazy makeout session in the booth, and you didn’t want to be anywhere near for when that happened.

Downing your drink, you went ahead to sway to the beat alone, close enough so Draken could see you, but far enough away that you could pretend he didn’t.

He has been fussing over you since the two of you were 9, and it doesn’t seem to be improving with age, no matter how many times you tell him you’re all grown up now.

Soft idiot.

An arm sneaks it’s way around your waist, interrupting your train of thought, and you don’t even have time to turn and glance at the person responsible.

“Hi, pretty girl.” A familiar, husky voice fills your ears, sending a pleasant shiver up your spine.

“Hello.” You reply back softly, allowing him to turn you around, his hands still locked firmly around your waist, “Long time no see. Assumed you’d never call back.”

Kakucho smiled, too softly for a man like him.

“Got busy, sorry.”

“Wow, I’m not a priority after the two times we’ve spoken? How horrible!“

He rolled his eyes, but there was no malice behind the act, no insult at all.

You found he looked just as handsome under the dim, flashing lights of the club as he did in the bright light of the wedding hall, a graceful sort of beauty adorning his face, his eyes clear and warm and his smile pleasant, even if his face betrays his real emotions, his real intentions.

You were staring into the eyes of a man in depths of misery, just trying to find a way to forget.

People often assumed you didn’t care about others’ feelings, or merely didn’t notice them at all, considering you to be a spoiled brat with no kindness or consideration for others.

You merely considered one’s private feelings their own business, and it wasn’t something you felt the need to pry into.

“Wanna get out of here?” You ask, your hands making their way onto Kakucho’s shoulders and around his neck, your fingertips lightly caressing his nape.

He smirked, and your suspicions got confirmed.

. . . next

🔖Taglist (open):

@dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @rinsie @kisekihany @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @7rkx @graythecoffeebean @mukounisuru-gashadokuro @sunahyejin @yamaguccitadashi @minoozi @trashmemebitch @frogtits1 @sup-zfam @whydohumansss @shiyuumisaki @xashiui @bontens-whore @chronic-claire-universe @nqctre @crybabylisa @adeptiixiao @denkis-sluttyboy @yukimaniac @toobsessedsstuff @yuushs @sh4nn @lumi-does-some-stuff @hana-patata @hxked @erza-uzumaki @syddisheep @satsuri3su @soushswag @wisteria-aa @bontensbabygirl @qualitygiantshoepsychic @levii-s @astropheia @galactict3a @a-toxic-person @inurmom00 @eriislost @phoenixflames498 @luvjiro

a/n: just to let you guys know, updates will be delayed for all fics bc a bitch got ✨ e x a m s ✨

[silverslipstream]

Nine Writeblrs I Want To Know Better

Cheers for the tag @sergeantnarwhalwrites! last song: Beautiful Ruin by Make Good Your Escape

favorite color: Azure blue! Second place goes to midnight purple metallic.

last movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's one of my favourite films of all time and definitely a comfort watch. I've seen it fourteen times.

currently reading: Physical-book wise, it's Atonement by Ian McEwan. I heard good things about it and picked it up for £1 in a charity shop, but I'm struggling with it at the moment. McEwan's prose is needlessly flowery and overly abstract, and it keeps yanking me out of the story.

Virtually, I'm re-reading Rush (For A Gap That Exists) by sleepstxtic on AO3. It's a crossover fanfiction between Harry Potter and Formula One, with the Harry Potter characters, houses and organisations transplanted into the world of modern Formula One racing. It's a great story even if you aren't a motorsport fan - read it here!

sweet/spicy/savory: Savoury, if I'm being honest. I do have a sweet tooth, but eating sweets too much makes me feel queasy and guilty, whereas I could never get sick of sausage rolls, steak bakes and chorizo and cheese rolls. Yum :)

relationship status: single at the moment. There are possibilities of that changing in the near future though... hmm...

current obsession: Motorsport Manager. It's a PC game where you take the reins of a fictional racing team or create your own, managing your drivers, cars, race strategy, staff and headquarters as you endeavour to win at the highest level and leave your mark on the sport. I tend to make all the people in the game into characters even though they're only randomly-generated portraits, and use the game to create storylines or scenarios. It's way too addictive. I've probably written way too many career reports and fics going into all my save files: the drama between drivers, certain dramatic races, fictional magazine articles and write-ups... at some point I'll get over the embarrassment and post a few bits here.

last thing I googled: I assume this relates to writing; otherwise it's just 'how long should you reheat cottage pie in the microwave for?' as that's what I'm having for tea tonight. The last thing I googled for writing purposes was 'France 2027 election predictions'

currently working on: A sci-fi short story regarding the first spaceflight from a 'ringworld' where a group of monks and inventors defy an oppressive, anti-technology society to launch a manned rocket into space, and are shocked by the nature of the world they inhabit. Also a dystopian science-fiction piece regarding a woman who becomes addicted to selling her memories on the black market and gradually loses her identity and sanity in the process.

I'll tag @outpost51, @acertainmoshke, @amostdelectablescribbler, @guessillcallitart, @erraticprocrastinator, @steh-lar-uh-nuhs, @sarlusmonoele, @rbbess110 and @stesierra as well as an open tag for anybody who wants to jump in! As always, no pressure: feel free to participate or not at your leisure :)

[mightyflamethrower]

AMA: Taxpayers should fund uterus transplants for males

Buckle up, campers, because things are going to get even weirder this evening, courtesy (once again) of the folks at the American Medical Association. According to a recent report published in The Daily Mail, a representative of the AMA has suggested in the June issue of its Journal of Ethics that taxpayers could be put on the hook for a $300,000 surgery to transplant a uterus into a male patient to “subsidize” the cost of the very expensive and totally experimental surgery. And why would anyone need to do this? Two reasons. First, it could alleviate ‘psychological dissonance’ in the trans patient. But even better, they seem to believe that they may be getting closer to allowing a man to actually get pregnant and deliver a baby. Your head-desk response is assumed.

The American Medical Association (AMA) has suggested that taxpayers should subsidize uterus transplants worth up to $300,000 to help transgender women get pregnant. Arguments were made to reduce the cost of the surgery in its Journal of Ethics issue in June titled Patient-Centered Transgender Surgical Care. But the AMA has been criticized for floating the idea and has been accused of holding an ‘activist position’.

As usual, I will preface my response with my usual disclosure that I AM NOT A DOCTOR and don’t even play one on television, so do your own research and reach your own conclusions. But I don’t think any reasonably intelligent (and, let’s face it… sane) person needs to be a doctor to see what’s so very wrong about this entire story. And you can also see what is increasingly wrong with the American Medical Association, which has been hijacked by activists from the trans movement and is now simply spouting politically correct and, in this case, potentially lethal nonsense.

You can read the full article in the Journal of Ethics here. The entire June issue is dedicated to nothing but transgender medical issues, but the one about transplanting a uterus into a man is really over the moon. I should also warn you that the linked article at The Daily Mail contains a rather graphic cartoon walking you through the process of performing such a transplant, so be prepared. It’s unsettling, to say the least.

One thing you may notice if you read the Journal article is that they make reference to “Swedish researchers involved in the initial successful uterus transplants resulting in live births.” This might lead the unwary to believe that these trans-plants (sorry… couldn’t resist) and births are already happening. That is not remotely accurate. The transplants in question were done using a donor uterus from either a deceased woman or a patient having hers removed for other reasons, with the organ being transplanted into a living woman. (Not a “woman with a penis.”) She already had all of the required parts and needed a replacement uterus. Still something of a medical miracle, but not related to the topic at hand.

As far as the proposal in question goes, the entire idea of male pregnancy is still entirely theoretical. It’s never happened and it probably can’t. There is a lot more involved in bringing a baby to term than the “simple” act of combining a sperm with an egg and seeing if the resultant zygote attaches to the uterine wall. The woman’s body is doing a lot of work throughout the process, work that a male body is not equipped to perform. And the initial procedure (as described in the illustration I mentioned above) involves incredible medical gymnastics to attempt to wedge a donor organ into a place that it was never intended to be.

This is full-on Doctor Frankenstein territory. If you intentionally create an embryo in a place where it almost certainly will not survive, that’s not just massive medical malpractice. You are tiptoeing up to the territory of murder. The idea that the AMA could endorse such a thing, to say nothing of calling on the taxpayers to subsidize it, is an atrocity. The AMA is completely out of control at this point and ethically undocked. They are an unregulated group that still wields enormous influence and power and they are using that position to promote evil here. Something needs to be done. I just wish I knew what it was.

[mickmundy]

hiiii its that time again my friends (i remembered i have free will and can infodump about my fic series anytime i want) and with malus almost over and my favorite chapter published, i kind of want to talk about it...

i got/get a lot of wonderful comments (because my readers brains are Massive and Epic) about how medic and sniper frequently find romance in the mundane, which is something that i think both of them would savor/cherish, sepecially since their lives are definitely... not so mundane! but i specifically want to talk about Being Perceived and the Giving of the Names...

so let's jump in! Big Post so under a cut it goes! and you can read my fic series here, though this post will have emphasis on this chapter specifically. :-)

“Aheh, well, I know I should know all of your names, but I’ll be the first to confess that I do not. Isn’t that funny?” He giggled, narrowing his eyes as he flipped his forelock into place on his forehead. “I suppose I could have found out, but I never cared to. It’s never really been important to me.” He shrugged, placing his palms flat on his own thighs and bracing himself. “It’s important to me now, though. Yours, anyway.” He smiled, clearly eager. “If you want me to know it, of course. And I’ll tell you mine!” Medic offered, lacing his fingers together and resting them over his own belly pleasantly. 

Obviously my fics are more of a like. "in depth"(?) take on medic and sniper's characters but it's also important to me that i don't lose the like. Funny Silliness of the canon material in the tf2niverse... because i really don't think the franchise would be Any Good without its Silliness + offbeat humor! medic's character especially imo. so i think the idea of medic literally not caring enough to know anyone else's names is very On Brand for him since it's like "hoo! oh well! they are just friendly experiments!" he knows heavy's because heavy introduced himself to medic with it/they're best friends but other than that, he doesn't know anyone's and doesn't care to. i can see medic just skipping over "all that nonsense" on all of their charts and jumping straight into the Clinical Notes because that's what's most fun for him! he's nice to his teammates and considers them his friends, but not people he's close to. so in that vein when medic tells sniper "i'd like to know your name" it's because medic is telling sniper (in his own way... hoo hoo!) that he wants to know him as more than just an experiment. that at this point he's no longer just some uberheart transplant to him, but a friend. someone he cherishes and enjoys... so that's a pretty big deal for someone like medic, even if people's first reaction would be like "wtf how can he not know their/our names!!" but in medic's mind it makes perfect sense that he doesn't! because it's funny! and also he doesn't care <3 much love! SKDFKSFD

“Hello… Ludwig,” Sniper smiled, his voice faltering a bit on the tail-end of saying the other mercenary’s name. Pretty name for a pretty thing like him . “My name’s…” Wait. What should he say? Mick? Michael? Hell, nobody called him Michael. Then again, nobody’d called him Mick since his parents died. “… Michael. Well, most people used to call me Mick,” he cleared his throat, “Mundy.” He finished, watching Ludwig’s expression soften.

and so then we get into the act of Introducing Yourself... the power of a Chosen Name.... the Romance of being known as Who You Are to someone you care about... and names can be something that are so sacred... whether its your birth name or a name you chose for yourself, its a name you Choose to go by, it's who you are! sniper has just gone by his alias for so long that he'd probably just habitually give it out regardless, and that's fine enough because he's a professional and it works. but he also sees this as a big deal and so he wants to give medic a piece of himself that most of the rest of the team (demo knows sniper's name but calls him mickey but that's it) isn't privy to. he's not sure what he wants medic to call him because all of those names are so Different. they represent versions of himself from different times in his life... and he wants what medic calls him to be perfect. medic watches as sniper Clearly starts overthinking it and just kind of gives up and tells him "well most people just calls me this,". he'll call me mick like anyone and everyone else-

“I care little for what others do. What would you like me to call you?” Medic asked. 

and of course in Typical Medic Fashion he doesn't care what most people do, he wants to do something that's unique! medic's relationship to sniper doesn't involve anyone else's perception of either of them, so why should he care what others call him? What does HE want to be called?

“Michel it is. It’s nice to meet you, Michel.” Medic smiled, his cheeks pushing into his eyes in a genuine smile. Sniper’s heart could have stopped in his chest as his plain name, one that he never particularly cared about one way or another, was reborn in the doctor’s voice. Michel, Michel, Michel. It sounded so different, like it was a whole new name. A name he loved, if it meant hearing Medic say it. 

naturally, medic picks it perfectly. something unique to him something that reminds sniper of medic because nobody ever calls him michael... until medic. and when you choose to add significance to Little Things like this... it can't help but be romantic.. sniper obviously loves it when medic calls on him no matter what, but michel is a name that not only sniper gave medic [permission to call him], but that medic gave sniper [he doesn't want it to just be Whatever Anyone Calls him, he wants it to have Meaning to both of them]. michel is the sniper that medic has come to know and fall in love with.

“Michel… It suits you. Invisible, humble protector…” he trailed off, his eyes narrowing playfully as his voice lowered a bit in pitch. “Enemy of the devil,” he crooned, lilting his voice as though to sound mock-scary, though his smile was still one of playful glee. 

and of course medic flirts about it because that's who he is and he does think it suits sniper: someone who does their job and doesn't need praise or fanfare for it, someone whose sharp gaze sees all... i think it appeals to sniper's obsession with professionalism in that sense. i Obviously don't think either of them are christian (LOL). but i think medic is flirtatiously calling sniper a guardian angel (and just isn't being So Literal about it) and that's what you should glean from it.

“Dunno about that. Like you just fine,” he’d said before he could stop himself, watching as Ludwig’s eyes got wide for a moment as a large, toothy smile spread over his mouth, nearly ear to ear. Sniper felt the back of his neck get hot under such an intense gaze. His teeth were bared with - for lack of a better descriptor (or perhaps simply the most fitting one) - devilish glee, but his eyes were intense, impish and playful.

so medic giveth a nickname and so sniper does too... 😏 medic is devilish: playful, tempting, and so so so persuasive! plus given medic's ability to literally outsmart the devil, it's not said in an insulting way. sniper loves medic's devilishness and has even come to adore him when he's being Completely Bonkers SillyMorbid! and medic of course sees that sniper means it as a compliment. he knows sniper, despite being professional, can appreciate a good kill, some fun morbidity, and wants to see more of that side of sniper. calling him a devil only makes it more obvious that medic is having the exact effect on sniper that he wants! hoo! sniper swears that he's no good at flirting, but he seems to know how to wind medic up pretty effortlessly!

Ludwig’s large chest puffed out slowly in a smooth, silent inhale, the bulk of his body taking on an air about it that the bushman’s sharp eyes were drawn to. Chest, stomach, hips, thighs… hips, stomach, chest, eyes… And, effortlessly, he was consumed by Medic’s gaze again, as though it had been politely waiting to ensnare him.

good job mick you went and turned him on! well that's just fine with dovey! medic isn't shy about showing sniper how he affects him, but that doesn't always have to involve being Sexually Abrasive. he makes a show of letting his breath get taken away so that sniper can physically see that it was sniper who took it away. not everything has to be under Cloak and Shadow; medic has the confidence that sniper doesn't to say look! you're turning me on! i like how you look at me and talk to me! and he lets sniper look at him like he is, watches sniper study him and silently tell him "it's okay to look. i want you to look. this is for you." something that someone who is really sexually/emotionally repressed would appreciate (permission to Gander free of judgement). a huge element of how i ship medic and sniper is that they're BOTH figuring stuff out about each other but also themselves, and in their own Very Different ways. they're (doing their best to) afford one another patience to explore what they're learning and how it affects them. i think romance is defined by the people in the relationship and they're figuring out what that means to them!

GOD IDK IF ANYONE IS GOING TO EVEN READ THIS BUT IF YOU DID THEN THANK YOU I LVOE YOU!!!! i just had to get it out of my system lskdmfkdm... it is a Curse when i am MegaFixated on talking about my own creation.,., sighs.., 😔

[askkrenko]

I'm creating a D&D setting that is geographically just Earth, but where political borders are based on what would occur in the context of magic, monsters, etc., with only a limited effort to mirror cultures on Earth. I've got a lot of the locations for various humanoids mapped out, but I would like your input as a . . . is it cryptozoologist or arcanozoologist? Mostly, are there certain monsters, humanoids, or other creatures that you think should absolutely be in certain places or not be in certain places? Obviously, Kirin should be in Japan, Couatl should be in Central America, and other things like that. And I'm inclined to make any European Elves consistent with the tale of Erlkonig (sp).

Any input would be appreciated, but I would like your opinion on two topics in particular. Where the heck should I put goblins? And what should I do about Golems? I know that D&D's treatment of Semitic topics is horrendous (Phylacteries in particular), but do you think I should leave them as is, put them in the Middle East in particular, or do something else?

One more detail about this world, in case it helps. Dragons run the show. Each of the ten types of dragon rule over a portion of the world (and Brass Dragons are over the Middle East).

This is a lot of question so lets see what I can do now and I'll be happy to talk about it in messages, but lets get started here! First off, "Crypto" " and "Arcane" can both mean secret, but more commonly "Crypto" means "Hidden" while "Arcane" means "Known by few." So a Cryptozoologist studies creatures that have not yet been proven, like Sasquatch and Yeti while an Arcanozoologist studies creatures that aren't well known. Really, Magizoologist is probably the best term, but that term is exclusively used in the Potterverse so I prefer to avoid it.

The term "Goblin" is often broad, but if you want the stereotypical "Short jackass who's just going around having fun at other's expenses," you want them in Western Europe- Germany, France, the British Isles, Spain, and Portugal. That said, if you're going this route, make sure that there are many goblins that work seamlessly with humans in addition to the wild ones. House goblins (also called Kobolds, brownies, etc) are common things, with the idea being that they're super helpful as long as you treat them with kindness and respect but will absolutely ruin your day if you're a jerk to them. Also, they're extremely introverted and don't like talking to people, even the people they share a house with.

Golems are not a race. Golems are guardians created by Jews to protect Jews. You can have guardian statues, but honestly, just don't use the word Golem if they're not hanging out with actual Jews. If you really want to have fun with it, you can have a self-perpetuating race of golems where all the golems ARE Jews, but if you're not prepared to make sure the characters are Jewish, just don't use Golems.

You probably want to fill the middle east with Djinn. Honestly, good luck doing a project like this without offending people.

...Which you're already doing by saying "Obviously, Kirin should be in Japan." Kirin aren't from Japan. They're Chinese. And Couatl are wholecloth D&D creatures loosely based on a single deity, not real representations of Earth mythology.

If you want to use Earth as a base, you're going to need to do a lot more research on each area to make it feel right. So much of D&D is its own stuff or is so highly bastardized from real myth that just transplanting it to Earth isn't clean at all.

[magpiejay1234]

So Episode 41 ARC-V.

This one has some time shenanigans.

Apparently, the invasion to Xyz was supposed to start three years ago, but didn't. The actual invasion took place about 6 months before at most.

This probably means Dennis was originally supposed to be transplanted to Xyz cast 3 years ago, as in both in-series, but also in the production. I guess they realized this didn't fit in with Yuto's timeline, so this is kind of a forgotten plot point.

Reiji here is about old as Yuya is now (14), and Serena should be 11. There is kind of an obvious parallel with Reiji's attempt to save Serena, and Yuya's past, and future attempts to save Yuzu, which explains both why ReijixSerena ship is a thing, and why we never elaborated on Yuri's relationship with Serena. This doesn't lead to much, since animators much prefer ShunxSerena for some reason, but also Shingo has the one-sided crush on Serena, and you have Yuya's growing connection with her as well.

Anyway, I probably already said this, but with all the talk about "ambition", Leo is supposed to be a Nobunaga-esque figure, with his dream of uniting dimensions into one. I don't know if this quite works, but it is what the show is aiming for.

[kingdomhate]

sorry, I can't find Chapter 1 of Happiness and Tears? So I can understand the rest of the series. Is it posted?

No worries! Yes, it is posted and it is odd that you can't find it. I don't know how to work links (idk why) but I'll just give you the whole story:

Happiness and Tears (Part One)

You had been waiting for Clayton to come back to you for a long time; he had recently joined the Army for before he had gotten the emergency call for the heart transplant, and you, his fiance, waited anxiously for him to come back. You haven't seen him for a few months, although you both called frequently and communicated whenever possible. You fiddled with your clothes and with your appearance, wanting nothing more than to look beautiful for him.

The moment his gorgeous blue eyes locked with yours, your breath had gotten stuck in your throat. He appeared to you in his military uniform and you could swear he had seen you get flustered, as he smiled. You hastily walked over to him, hugging him as tight as possible, burying your face in his chest as he chuckled and hugged you back. "Hi, love." He grinned at you. "Hey, Clay." You spoke, voice cracking slightly. You had never expected to be this emotional when you were reunited with your soon-to-be-husband, but you were. You brought your hands up to cup his cheeks, gently running your thumbs over them as you took in his appearance once more. From his sparkling eyes, proud smirk, to the way his hair was gelled and slicked to the side.

"I missed you so much, you know that?" He spoke to you, his hand going to your waist and other going to comb his fingers through your hair as he always loved to do. "I missed you more." You replied, a smile on your face. "Jack wants to see me." He said, sighing softly, but keeping his smirk. "I know." You sigh as well, looking at his uniform, your eyes gleaming as you traced the medals with your finger. "Do you want to come?" Clay asked you, his finger going to your chin to gently lift your head to look at him. "If you want." You answered. He lowered his head to yours and caught your lips in a sweet and longing kiss. Your heart beat pounded, to the point you were sure Clay could hear it too. He pulled back slightly, his face still close to yours and he looked at you, before placing his forehead against yours.

"Of course I want you to come with me." He smiled. He pulled all the way back and gazed down at you with adoration, you could see it in his eyes. "Don't you think you should change?" You ask playfully and he laughs slightly. "Yeah, probably should." He gives you one more quick kiss before hurrying inside with you to change out of his uniform. You hummed softly as you waited for him to get dressed. You were so delighted that he was home but at the same time so dejected that he had to immediately deal with his heart complications.

Alas, you still went with him once he got changed. Why wouldn't you? Clay and you were to be married, why would you let this get in your way? Ever since you met Clay, you knew he had heart problems and would eventually need a transplant, but it never stopped either of you from loving the other. Even if Lillith didn't like the idea of you both getting married, she knew there was nothing she could do as long as Clay loved you like he did. "Do you want me to wait out here?" You ask, once you both get into the Hospital and you walk to Jack's office. He shook his head, "Y\N, you can come in." He smiled at you and you nodded. Clay knocked on the door and Jack opened it. "Yeah? Oh, hey, Clay! What took you so long?" Jack chuckled, giving Clay a friendly hug. Clay laughed. "Just got back." Jack gave him a curt nod and gestured for you bot to come inside. "Hey, Y\N." Jack greeted you before sitting down and looking at Clay. Both of you sat side by side in front of Jack's desk and waited. "Hi, Jack." You replied sweetly.

"Well, Clay... You know you have to get this transplant, and it has to be soon." Jack reminded Clay, his voice serious. Clay nodded. "Would you like to schedule something soon?" Jack asked, his head tilted and his hands clasped up to his lips, both of his index fingers resting on his nose. "Yes. Yes, I do. Is there a specific time I gotta schedule for?" Clay asked, his hands politely in his lap. "No. But, we will have all of our best staff available tomorrow." Clay nodded. "Well then, tomorrow sounds good." Jack gave an affirmative nod and stood up, so did Clay and you. "See you tomorrow then." Jack smiled, shaking both of your hands.

Let me know what you think, please!

[trantrumsfromthevoid]

Twilight Advent ‘22

Day 15 (12.15.22) - “Tell us about a Twilight OC you love (your own or someone else's).”

This is gonna be a long post, so just beware.

About ... mmm, seven or eight years ago now, I came up with the idea of Crew Bishop. I firmly believe Leah should have a happy ending and since SM won’t give her one, I’m more than happy to do so. Crew has, in turn, become very near and dear to my heart and I haven’t finalized every detail just yet. Leah has always been one of my favorite characters within the Saga and I desperately want her to have a happy ending that doesn’t involve imprinting on some random fella. Imprinting is a whole ‘nother gripe I have with SM.

This is gonna be part Leah headcanon, part Crew headcanon.

So about two years after everything happens in “Breaking Dawn,” Leah fully accepts there’s nothing to keep her in La Push/Forks: Sue eventually moves in with Charlie, Seth is working on himself (see my Day 12 post), and Jacob has Renesmee his own life. Even Sam and Emily have moved on with their lives with a recent wedding. Leah decides it’s time to move to “big city” Seattle, finds a really cool apartment downtown, and a job at a funky little hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. She absolutely loves her co-workers and they’ve formed this unconventional family unit; wherein everyone meets once a month for raucous “family style” dinners and game nights. Once or twice a year her bosses will treat them to a really nice dinner out.

After a year in Seattle she decides to take classes at the local community college where she majors in American Indian Studies and minors in folklore. She also has a “side gig” as a freelance writer: submitting loosely veiled stories about her life, what it’s like growing up on a reservation, some short stories; yada yada yada. She continues to phase about once a month, but she’s not really sure why she does it. She tells herself it’s to keep her pack connection to Jacob and Seth going. But, truly, she doesn’t know why she continues to phase. Other than providing some stress relief.

About three years after moving to Seattle Leah’s at the coffee shop on her day off, working on a paper for one of her classes. Next thing she knows, some “idiot” (her words) spills their coffee all over her notes. She’s ready to rip them apart until she looks into the face of the most gorgeous man she’s ever seen. A second ago she was furious, ready to yell at them; now she can’t remember her own name. For a split second she wonders if she’s just imprinted (spoiler: she hasn’t).

Crew Bishop, my OC, apologizes profusely and they get to chatting. He offers to buy her a coffee as a way to apologize, she allows it (she doesn’t tell him she works here and gets her coffee for free, naturally), and they really seem to hit it off. Crew is a recent transplant from his hometown of Sheridan, Wyoming. He was raised by a single mom, along with an older sister, after his father abandoned the family when he was five. He moved to Seattle about nine months ago after being left at the altar the year prior and wanted a completely fresh start. One sleepless night he was watching Captain Fantastic and thought it would be a cool place to live. He’s a veterinarian and works at the Seattle Aquarium. He obviously gets along really well with Seth and while Sue loves the fact that her daughter is finally happy, she’s a little weary of him.

Where Leah’s cautious, a homebody, and slightly embittered (although, since moving to Seattle she’s lost some of that), Crew is gregarious, energetic, and vibrant. While he’s had some shitty luck, he tries very hard not to let it get to him. He’s the ray of sunshine to Leah’s dark cloud. They remain friends for a few weeks, doing things with mutual friends or simply just hanging out together, they “officially” start dating about six weeks after they meet. After a year, they move in together.

They get married a year after moving in together (those details haven’t really been finalized yet but it’s probably a small “no frills” ceremony with immediate family and a few friends) and end up having two kids about five years after meeting. The pregnancy was a complete surprise to Leah; because of her phasing she was never sure if it would be an option. Which, pretty soon after they “officially” started dating she told Crew everything: her “family history,” her phasing, and  whether or not she’d be able to have kids. She wanted to know whether that would be a “deal-breaker” for Crew. Which, obviously, it wasn’t.

So, yeah. That’s my lovely little Twilight OC. If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading all my rambles. Hopefully you enjoyed it.

[thatstormygeek]

Aside from being a white man from the Midwest to “balance” the ticket according to more conventional campaign wisdom, it really matters what Democrats in Minnesota achieved under his leadership. His ascension should be read as a statement of intent: Look what we have done in Minnesota – yes, that’s what we want for all Americans. Republicans are certainly trying to transplant to the national level what they are already doing in “red” states: Impose a reactionary vision by increasingly authoritarian measures. This has been the biggest advantage for Democrats over the past few election cycles. Rightwingers can talk about the dangers of “woke” radicalism all they want. But Americans see, in “red” states, what GOP rule means, as Republicans are rolling back fundamental rights, installing vindictive reactionary regimes. Walz represents the positive counter to that. Not just “We reject the Right’s vision for the country,” but “Here’s what a fairer, more egalitarian pluralistic America looks like” – not just in theory, but in the form of actual legislation, and based on narrow majorities too.

The idea that attacking leading figures on the Right as “weird” obscures a more substantive discussion about the issues that really matter in favor of empty campaign rhetoric is similarly misleading. The attack hasn’t just been directed at weird mannerisms, rhetoric, or superficial stylistic features – it has been directly tied to policy. What’s weird is the Right’s obsession with controlling women’s bodies and subjecting children to full-body inspections before letting them do sports; what’s weird is banning popular children’s books; what’s weird is abandoning all attempts at figuring out how to solve collective action challenges via public policy because you are too busy propagating conspiracies about the evil forces that have supposedly taken over all the institutions of American life. The official thrust of the Harris campaign has been seamlessly building on that: What these weird guys want to do is take away fundamental freedoms that most Americans agree should define the nation – but we are not going back to that dark place to which they want to take us. Democrats – and by extension: (almost) all the people who, for better or worse, rely on America’s sole (small-d) democratic party to fight back against the authoritarian assault – are feeling relieved. They are on the offensive. They are, dare we say it, having fun. The reactions from the Right have been immensely helpful too, as rightwingers have reliably lost it and freaked out in ways that are really not doing much to dispute the impression that they are weirdos (witness Christopher Rufo’s rather unhinged tirades against Walz, for instance). The Right desires to project strength and intimidate those who dare to deviate from the reactionary vision; “you guys are just weird” directly undermines these assertions. Another reason for the immediate success of this messaging is probably that it provides a way to attack the Right’s aggressively bigoted political project without calling them racists, sexists, or homophobes. If that is indeed the case, I feel somewhat ambiguous about it. The tendency in the mainstream political discourse to discard terms like “racist” and “sexist” – or fascist! – as merely slurs, rather than analytically correct assessments of core elements of the rightwing worldview, and to consequently regard those who call out racism and sexism with as much suspicion as the discriminatory structures and behavior that we urgently need to call out, is a disaster. Given this frustrating reality, however, it’s good to have found a way to circumvent those taboos to some extent, in a way that doesn’t give an inch to the rightwing agenda on substance. Tim Walz himself plays a crucial role in this respect: He is modeling a white male masculinity that is not either obsessed with its own power over others and/or consumed by whining about its own frailty, but confidently focused on using the power and privilege that comes with being a “normal” white Christian man to improve the lives of others.

Since the late 1960s, Republicans have successfully weaponized the idea that they represent the norm that should define the nation. This assertion (in)famously crystallized in the “silent majority” notion Richard Nixon popularized early in his presidency. In his address to the nation on the war on Vietnam in November 1969, Nixon spoke to – and, as he claimed, for – “the great silent majority of my fellow Americans.” Nixon presented himself as the proponent and defender of these normal, everyday Americans, of “the quiet voice in the tumult and the shouting,” as he had put it in his speech accepting the nomination at the Republican Convention in August 1968: “It is the voice of the great majority of Americans, the forgotten Americans – the non-shouters; the non-demonstrators.” These Americans, according to Nixon, were under assault from the loud radicals, the protesters, the young hippies, and the Black people causing “unrest.” Nixon’s “silent majority” was unmistakably white, it was older, it shared conservative or even reactionary sensibilities. He precisely captured the trajectory of the Republican Party, both ideologically but also in terms of the demographics and self-perception of its supporters. The civil rights legislation of the 1960s had acted as a catalyst for a longer-term process of party realignment or partisan sorting. The result was a profound reconfiguration of the two major parties, ultimately uniting those opposed to egalitarian, multiracial, pluralistic democracy in the GOP. Their voices have dominated the Republican Party since at least the late 1970s. The mainstream political discourse – and far too many Democrats as well (more on that in a second) – has accepted and perpetuated this assertion of a white conservative Christian norm that is supposedly shared by the majority of Americans for far too long. ... For the longest time, most leading Democratic officials and lawmakers were unwilling and/or unable to really pounce on this drastic discrepancy between the Republican claim to power and the GOP’s descent into extremism and its embrace of reactionary minority rule. A distinct asymmetry in the way the two sides treat each other has defined the political conflict: While the GOP has been engaging in an escalating authoritarian assault on the political system and Republican leaders could not have been clearer about the fact that they consider Democrats the “Un-American” enemy within and Democratic governance fundamentally illegitimate, powerful Democrats have acted as is politics as usual is still possible and a return to bipartisanship and cross-party consensus, to “normalcy,” imminent.