#I used to have cash savings last year but that was specifically for a tattoo in a studio that preferred cash payments | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magebastard · 3 years

Text

(ok thank you so much @possumsunshine for making this big fat wayhaven detective questionnaire i had FUN doing it)

QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE

Name: lane m. wheatley

Pronouns: she/they

Sexuality: bisexual

Love interest: mason

Best friend: unit bravo all of them

Main skill: people

Secondary skill: science

Main personality trait: genuine

Secondary personality trait: easygoing

Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: wants to protect people

Relationship with Rebecca: bad so bad laughably bad

Relationship with Bobby: ex

Verda or Tina?: verda

Murphy bite?: neck

Murphy’s fate?: captured

Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: mason she panicked

GENERAL

Name: lane marshall wheatley

Nickname: detective (affectionate)

Birthday: december 8th

Age: 27

Pronouns: she/they

Sexuality: bisexual

Hair color: honey blonde

Eye color: dark brown

Height: 5’1

Piercings: a few holes in her ears and her septum but she very rarely wears the septum ring

Tattoos: a rat on her left thigh, a stick and poke that says dunkin donuts on the inside of her left ankle

Clothing Style: smart. blazers and slacks. very shiny loafers. big bulky wristwatch. christopher moltisanti from the sopranos.

Apartment Style: dark. but fully furnished by bulk trash day

STATS

Personality:

Charming | Intimidating

Impulsive | Cautious

Sarcastic | Genuine

Friendly | Stoic

Easygoing | Stubborn

Traits:

Heart | Mind

Optimist | Pessimist

Team Player | Independent

Skills:

Main Skill: people

Second Skill: science/technology

By the Book | Bend the Rules

KEY DECISIONS

Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: wants to protect people

Murphy bite: Wrist | Neck | None

Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped

Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Love Interest: mason

Why them?: ok time to be A Bit Much™️ but she immediately identifies herself in mason. like felix and nate are open and kind which she tries to embody, and adam respects her so long as she does her job which she understands and appreciates. she doesn’t understand or relate to any of them in a romantic sense. with mason she sees that ‘oh, he likes to hook up and flirt. he’s kind of grumpy but that’s fine i also pretty much exclusively only hook up and flirt. so that could happen.’

Bold, shy, or mixed?: bold

What were their first impressions of each other?: for lane, mason immediately pissed her off. she was very stressed out by the case and rebecca’s sudden appearance and adam’s attitude, so her patience was so thin and she just didn’t care about much beyond solving the mystery of the murder. she thought he might have seen her in a weak spot and pointedly ribbed her because of it so she was like “i literally just need to learn to ignore this man.”

for mason, it was a weird mixed bag, because he could pick up on lane’s reluctance to work with a team—especially rebecca’s team. with that impression in mind, he sees her cast all of her personal feelings aside for the sake of solving the case and protecting the town, and he relates to that instinct. other than that, he was generally annoyed that they had to work with her

What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?: everything for sure but specifically their favorite features -

for lane: mason’s freckles and his long nose and hands. mentally, it’s his honesty and sense of humor

for mason: lane’s eyes, cheeks when she smiles, legs. mentally, it’s her open mindedness and protective nature

What do they do to spend time together?: they go on walks, lane tries to find mason’s favorite music, they watch movies, they go on long drives, they sit at the lighthouse, they watch sunsets together, they stare at the moon

What is their favorite memory together?: they make a lot! the first time they quietly sit together on the roof of the warehouse becomes especially important to them both over time

What are their love languages?: touch, quality time, lane is half in/half out on words of affirmation

How do they handle being apart from one another?: ok deep romance mason feels the brunt of hypersensitivity with also the ache of loss so he mostly sulks and sticks to his room. lane kind of walks around on autopilot. not really realizing it, but definitely experiencing heavy brain fog and going home and berating herself for being needy but also crying

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: they don’t really argue! mason doesn’t really think not to speak his mind and lane is very communicative and easygoing. they bicker when one of them ends up in avoidable danger, but it usually ends with a quiet “i need you to stay safe.” something w that sentiment

What does their future look like?: traveling and a lake house. staying with unit bravo through thick and thin. lane turns when she’s 29, and they stay in wayhaven until she turns about 45 and eyebrows start to raise.

Anything else you’d like to share: they do get married. it’s a very small and very private ceremony that doesn’t really matter much to either of them but conceptually being husband and wife feels very funny and novel and also just makes sense

BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP

Best friend: i cannot choose but for this instance i will go with nate

Why them?: they talk a lot about literature and food and music and lane bids on antique furniture for nate because he doesn’t know how to use ebay. it’s a very precious friendship for them both

What were their first impressions of each other?: lane is weary of nate because he’s so charming that she worries that maybe he’s TOO confident. it passes when he gives that exasperated vibe off over felix being overtly outgoing in like a “oh he’s the parent” kind of way. he also has this comforting presence and she worries that he assumes she needs to be comforted. nate is weary of lane because while he’d never assume that someone is incapable at first glance, lane looks like a stiff wind would blow her over and that she hasn’t slept in a year. also his first genuine sight and impression of her is this tiny person taking a coffee pot apart piece by piece and grumbling very angrily to herself.

What do they do to spend time together?: nate purchases period piece luxury furniture and sometimes it is not in the best condition so lane and nate restore old furniture together. they debate about shakespeare and different genres of music. sometimes they play together. they swap recipes and while nate doesn’t gossip much, he always listens to station drama over tea/coffee.

Anything else you’d like to share: nate is the first person lane talks to about becoming a vampire. she knows he has his own reservations and she needs to hear them. also lane, nate and felix paint each other’s nails every few weeks. adam has an open invitation that he cashes in maybe twice a year.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in depth!)

Relationship with Rebecca: bad! they are strangers to each other and also very sad reflections of one another. rebecca makes lane feel so small without even trying

Relationship with Rook: rook was as beloved in wayhaven as lane is now, if not more so. she hears about him in stories that every adult in town seem to know. he’s her hero and she’s always a bit devastated that she never got to know him. lane had a crisis of identity in her sophomore year of college and suddenly the stories she’d always heard felt like a calling to try to be good like rook. this ends up being why she declared her major in forensic science and started working towards becoming a detective like he was

Relationship with Bobby: it’s pretty much fine. neither of them were great when they were together and lane feels a bit bad now because she definitely used him. he did the same, for a few reasons. they’re okay now, but lane kind of feels kind of weird about the 8 months they dated.

Relationship with Verda: they are science best friends. they drink wine on the porch on summer nights, and lane babysits the kids when sol and eric need a night off

Relationship with Tina: very close. your best coworker friend who you start spending time with outside of work and then you realize that you are almost spending all of your time together with them actually. lane’s spent the last two years worth of holidays with the ponames

Relationship with the Mayor: not great! she’s very ‘by the book’ but always takes the chance to snark him. used to egg his house as a teen

Relationship with Capt. Sung: she sees him as a weird general manager at work and can be fine with small and idle chatting when they run into each other at town functions

Relationship with Haley: haley and lane hooked up a lot when lane and bobby broke up. they were band kids in high school together and it’s a very important friendship for lane

Relationship with Elidor: she is so comforted by this fae man. they talk science, they chat about personal dreams, huge hugs.

Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: lane has a friendly relationship with vieno! they call her buddy and she internally is like “i am! i am your buddy!”

Relationship with Unit Alpha: dunks on maaka for making fun of nate and adam. they’re pretty blunt and open and she likes that energy a lot

Relationship with the Maa-alused: a lot of guilt over them losing their home. lane gets the vibe that falk was flirting but she didn’t want to assume but also she was into it. devastated by the fact that she could have saved sanja if she hadn’t let her feelings cloud her sense of logic.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?):

this is. a lot. (CW death and vehicular trauma) there was a boy who lane grew up with, who lived in the house across the street from her childhood home. by far, her best friend. they started dating freshman year of high school, and ended up in the same university, still together. lane was a comm major until her sophomore year and the two of them started a band in high school that became the band that lane was in for years.

in their sophomore yr of college, he proposed and lane said yes, of course, they had NO plan or any idea outside of the band of what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. that same year, they ended up in a car crash and he did not make it. this is what triggered lane to kind of lose a lot of her sense of identity. she found comfort in stories about rook and decided that—with no direction, who would be better to emulate than her hero? her partner’s name was david, they were soulmates and ya she still misses him

other than that, the two other guys that were in the band who she has not seen since the funeral. i have this idea in my head of writing the scene where they visit and meet unti bravo which would be entirely for me and my own little rat brain

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: very laid back and open/honest. easygoing

Strengths: very detail oriented, can spot the faintest whiff of a pattern and connect dots with sparse evidence. emotionally driven to the point that she pushes herself beyond her limits to do a job well. very technologically savvy

Weaknesses: emotionally driven lmao cannot separate herself from a case once she’s started, feels personally responsible for everyone she could not save. bottles up her anger until she has no choice but to deal w it via crying.

Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: somewhere on the east coast. near a wawa

What is their personal history?: lane is a town stray. she had her house with nannies and agency babysitters who weren’t invested in her emotional growth and well-being, so her defacto family is uh all of wayhaven. neighbors, mailmen, friends parents, shop owners. she connects as much as she can with everyone in town. she drifts a lot between them, and after the accident she realizes that she would do anything to protect these people

If they weren’t a detective, what would their dream job be?: if rook were never a detective, lane would have probably leaned less on stories of his heroism. she probably would have stuck closer to her friends and tried to commit to making music her full time job

Anything else you’d like to share: she picked up smoking very young and it’s genuinely surprising to people that she has never questioned why she does it or that she’s never had any intention of quitting ever

RANDOM FACTS

Zodiac sign: sagittarius

Hobbies: furniture restoration, making music, walking, cooking/baking

Likes: a funky little bass line, marlboro menthols, giving piggy back rides, painting walls, being a lab tech and assistant for verda, sitting on the kitchen counter in the middle of the night

Dislikes: arguing, loud noises, when it gets too hot outside, when it gets too cold outside, when she catches someone in a lie and they continue to deny it

Drink of choice: black coffee w a little cinnamon mixed in the grounds

Starbucks order: 6 shot latte w soy

Favorite food: grilled eggplant

Favorite color: this color is called black bean it’s this

Favorite music: not to be annoying but truly all of it there is something she can enjoy in every genre but early 2000’s rnb and hard core punk probably

Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): she loves a rom com but also thrillers. her favorite movies are muppets treasure island and ratatouille

Favorite season: spring!

Anything else you’d like to share: her car’s name is Hank

#c: lane wheatley #not gonna put this in tags because it is mostly for me #smoking cw #food cw #drink cw #twc #aaaaaa thank u again for making this #cw death mention #cw vehicular trauma #alcohol ment #why am i nervous about posting this lmao

19 notes · View notes

illshowyourhurricanes · 4 years

Text

A Familiar Face (Part 7)

How about a chapter instead of a Sunday snippet? I love this story, and an update is far overdue! As a short refresher since I took so long (apologies!), your apartment has been broken into and ransacked. Ryan is with you and helps you sift through the wreckage as much as he is able. But you have a confession to make: you know who is the culprit, and you can’t hide the truth anymore. (Parts 1-6 can be found on my masterlist!

Rating: PG for a little steaminess

Word count: 3390 (Because Ryan gets to me and I lose any and all self-control.)

Tag list: @obscurilicious @the-blind-assassin-12 @something-tofightfor @logan-deloss @lexxierave @madamrogers @yannii04 @gollyderek @carlaangel86 @maydayfigment @vetseras @thisisparadisemylove @malionnes @thesandbeneathmytoes @crushed-pink-petals-writes @delos-destinations @luminex3 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @tenhargreeves @witchygagirl @fific7 @pheedraws

If you’d like to be added to/removed from my tag list, please just send me an ask or shoot me a DM.

Enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Ryan’s eyes crinkled up at the edges when he smiled. It was something you hadn’t discovered early on, like the pensive look that darkened his eyes sometimes or the way their color seemed to dance when he talked about music and places he’d been, things he’d seen. He was always wearing that tattered khaki hat, and the bill cast a shadow over his eyes, shrouding little things from view.

But that night, between guitar picking with calloused fingertips and singing that bursted from his soul, you and Ryan talked; you joked and laughed and the back-and-forth you both indulged in lasted longer than any of your previous conversations had. With Ryan’s overgrown hair brushed back, the only thing obstructing his eyes at times was a chunk of long bangs falling over his forehead. It wasn’t enough, however, to hide those eye crinkles when he laughed, framed by long, dark eyelashes. It was a small feature of his that was only showcased in certain instances, and one that most people wouldn’t notice. But, every time it happened, you felt your heart flip, the way it had just before the cozy house set back deep in the woods had been filled with music.

Your mind kept replaying the melody of the original song he’d played for you. It had stirred something deep inside of you, ignited a place within yourself that you’d never known existed.

“When did you write Southbound?” Your questions were becoming more personal, and the startling part, the part that made you the happiest, was that Ryan didn’t seem to mind answering them, nor did he seem hesitant to ask questions of his own. “What sparked that melody, those words?”

Ryan set his guitar down gently, leaning the front of the old acoustic against the wall, neck and peg board supporting the instrument. He regarded your face, the glint of genuine curiosity shining in your eyes. He was attentive to the way you were sitting, leaning forward and eager to hear more of his story.

He’d met many people over the time he’d spent on the roads, living life the way he saw fit. Some of them had been curious about his lifestyle, how long he’d been playing, that sort of thing. He’d met people who had pried for details, almost as if a disguised predator hunting for prey. But you… you were the first person he’d encountered that was interested in more than why he didn’t use plastic guitar picks, but chose thumb and finger picks instead. Ryan wasn’t used to people being interested in him as a person. He was conditioned to keeping to himself, allowing lips curled in disgust at his clothes, rust-stained or dirtied in places from hopping trains, to roll off his back. He smiled, one of those crooked, small quirks of his lips that he tended to lean toward when he was feeling shy. But it didn’t keep him from answering, and truthfully.

“Just keepin’ myself occupied on trains. Some’a those rides are long and I use the time to practice, to play.” He flexed his fingers, and you looked down to see the ink decorating his knuckles. That was another story you’d love to hear, what those tattoos meant to him, what they stood for. “I found a melody I liked, kept playin’ around with it, the tuning, the speed, the pickin’. It was a while before the words came. My old notebook is more scratched through words than anythin’ else.”

He looked at you, perched on the edge of the old vintage couch, some of the fabric beginning to wear. He caught your eyes and held your gaze for a lingering moment, andl his focus was drawn downward to your lips. He forced himself to not stare, to continue with his story.

“But the words came, and I liked ‘em alright. They fit when I paired the lyrics with the music. For a long time, I had two verses, the strumming in the middle, and that was it. Wasn’t until the thick of the winter when I was inspired to finish.”

Ryan stopped there. You wanted to ask him what had inspired him to turn the song in the specific direction it had gone. You wanted to ask him how autobiographical the song was, the parts about leaving home— where home had been, if he’d ever tried to find a permanent place he could be content in. He’d sung a line or so nodding to drinking, and you couldn’t help but feel a strong pull at your heartstrings, and the solemn weight that settled in your chest. Ryan hadn’t had an easy life.

Instead of responding with words, you surveyed Ryan’s face. He was still just across from you, the fire he’d built still crackling in the fireplace. You felt a chill and lifted your sock-clad feet to the bottom cushion of the sofa you’d been occupying for the evening, hugging your knees to your chest.

A comfortable silence settled between the two of you, You became lost in thought, with the knowledge that tomorrow would be another very long day. You were making a mental list of things to take care of when Ryan’s voice brought you back to the present. It was such a welcome distraction.

“Tell me about the diner.” He spoke softly, not much louder than the crackling of the blazing fire he’d built. Standing from where you’d been lounging, you moved to the heart again to toast before the fire. It was difficult to stay still, difficult to focus on anything other than the questions making endless rounds through your head, overwhelming your mind. You could focus on Ryan, though. The diner. You smiled genuinely. My comfort. My home. It felt like, somehow, Ryan knew how much the diner meant to you… and he did. It was impossible to miss when you were there, working non-stop but never without a smile, never too busy to indulge a patron in warm conversation. It was your safe haven.

“My grandparents opened up the place decades ago,” you started. You paused for a moment and relished the warmth radiating over your back. “They snatched it up with a down payment and a lump sum of pre-payment of the lease before the building had an interior, when it was just a shell of brick. They knew it would be the perfect location for the business they’d dreamt of opening.” You caught Ryan’s eyes, and there was a smile there, matching the one on his lips as well as your own. “It’s like the American Dream,” you laughed, and continued. “My parents took over…”

And just as quickly as your grin had come, it vanished with a darkening of your eyes. The shock and bewilderment you’d felt in discovering the state of your apartment was transitioning into outright anger. You could kill your brother. And the thought of him intruding your mind-- just like the way he’d intruded your apartment, your life once again-- reminded you that Ryan still had no idea about what you knew. What had actually happened.

“And that brings us here,” you finally continued. “I had money saved up, a nice amount. Cash, mostly from tips, so I could buy that building outright when it’s time, take over when my parents grew tired.” You swallowed hard, shoving down the lump in your throat that had been returning unwelcome throughout the evening and night. A slight look of contempt twisted your features, and your eyes began to prickle. You knew what was coming; it was inevitable. “For years, I’ve measured my life in coffee spoons, packs of sweetener and powdered creamer. Working toward that goal is my whole life, and I wouldn’t trade the double shifts or overtime for the world, but right now? I have nothing to show for it.” Hot tears stung your face, and you wiped them away angrily as you gathered the courage to look at Ryan. His gaze was centered on you already, stunningly intense. And you were hit with a realization then: that if anyone could understand what it was like to have nothing— next to no money, no home, a sparse amount of belongings— it was Ryan.

He had no permanent home. You were fairly positive he’d had his fair share of days with little to no money, and everything he owned fit in his pack, with the exception of his guitar. The peace you felt from your epiphany thawed your anger. Your tears were tapering. Sniffing quietly, you moved to the side as Ryan came to tend to the fire. A feeling of understanding hung in the air between the two of you as Ryan added some more kindling to the flames. Your eyes alternated between his movements and the dance of dark shadow with orange firelight moving over his features. You were mesmerized.

“I know who did it.” Your voice was barely more than a whisper and you were hyper-aware of your heart beating wildly beneath the safety of your rib cage. Ryan brushed his hands together and stood upright, his eyes regarding as he did so. He didn’t seem to be angry at all, but his curiosity was apparent. He was quiet for a moment, but finally answered with a slight nod, the silence remaining. You opened your mouth to apologize again, your self-loathing over lying by omission rising by the minute, but Ryan beat you to the punch.

“ ‘S’not much of my business, I reckon, but you…” He looked at you with a seriousness you’d never expect from him, and your eyes widened with anticipation and dread. “Are you safe, Y/N?” Ryan’s warm, dark eyes were round with concern, and not a touch of anger was present. All you saw was worry and care.

You nodded in response and cast your eyes downward. “It is your business,” you assured him. It’s your business. You were there and you… you helped me bear the brunt of it all. “And I’m sorry, Ryan. Feeling shame isn’t an excuse to lie. Nothing is.” For the first time, you were nervous in front of him, not because of how he made you feel, but because you’d deceived him. If he’d had any trust in you-- which you thought he might-- you’d taken advantage of that. “I don’t want you to get involved in my mess.” Looking up at him, you locked your eyes with his. He had no further reason to trust you, not in your opinion, but you hoped he’d be able to see the honesty that you were finally giving him, and that he deserved. “You’ve been a light in my life since you’ve been around, and I don’t want to dim that, not while you’re still here casting that glow.” Your cheeks burned at the realization of how corny your words sounded, but corny or not, they were absolute truth.

Closing the short distance between you, Ryan gently took one of your hands in his, tangling his long fingers with yours. He just looked at you for a few seconds, and then, he kissed you with care. His lips were soft against yours, his kiss light, lingering, laced with an air of urgency. One hand cupped your cheek and the other wrapped around your hand just a bit tighter, your fingers lacing with his. He kissed you again, this time with an added tenacity, yet somehow still chaste. When he pulled back to look at you, both for a reaction and to marvel at your beauty, you noticed his chestnut eyes had darkened a shade or two. Your hands were still locked together and you couldn’t seem to draw in a full, steady breath. You got lost in the warmth of his eyes for a moment before your gaze fell to his lips, already craving another taste.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I shouldn’t ‘ve—“ You shook your head once and leaned in again, interrupting his very unnecessary apology. The way Ryan kissed was something you’d never experienced before. It was all the evidence you needed to achor the idea that Ryan didn’t need words. His soul was naked when he strummed the steel strings of his guitar, his emotions were on full display in his eyes, and his heart was unmistakably felt in his kiss. It was extraordinary and spellbinding. It was absolute and genuine and something that you wanted to take hold of, grasp tightly, and keep with you. But you knew, instead, eventually, you’ d have to let go. And much sooner, you suspected, than you’d like.

It had been foolish to allow yourself to grow attached to a stranger you may never see again, but you allowed yourself the effort to attempt rationalizing what was serendipitous. It wasn’t lost on you that doing so was a glaring paradox, but what were the chances of Ryan returning to your small town in the first place? You knew now that the reason was Georgie, but that posed another question: what were the chances of you remembering Ryan specifically? Buskers passed through all the time, on their way to or coming from the city. You were accustomed to music floating through the air on your way to the diner when you didn’t have the opening shift, but Ryan’s music wasn’t just a nice tune you’d enjoyed on your way to work. Ryan’s music, his style and way of playing, his voice smooth as honey but rough with passion, wasn’t just music-- it was a force. Ryan in himself was a force, and in the most gentle, remarkable way.

You pulled back reluctantly, your lips on fire and cheeks ablaze. You’d had one hell of a day, and your emotions were anything but regulated. The last thing you wanted to do was something out of your character, to tarnish your time with Ryan by doing something that, in hindsight, wouldn’t hold a meaning. You opened your eyes to see Ryan studying your face, and he smiled that boyish, crooked quirk of his lips— his incredible lips— that made your heart do somersaults.

“I’ve been wantin’ to do that for awhile,” he admitted, a slight chuckle accompanying his confession. You laughed, shaking your head more in disbelief than anything else Ryan brushed his calloused fingertips softly over your forehead, gently curling a few wayward strands of your hair behind your ear.

“How did you wait so long? I’m irresistible.” You dissolved into laughter and rolled your eyes dramatically, taking him by the hand and leading him the few steps back to the old loveseat you’d claimed as yours earlier in the evening. He followed suit easily, pulling you down to sit on one cushion as he sat on the other.

“You are,” he told you, but there was no trace of laughter in his voice. His shadow of a smile held affection instead of humor. “You’ve made my time here more’n just playing a couple songs with Georgie. He’s off somewhere now, an’ me? I’m still here.”

It was a simple thing to say, obvious in nature but not in the way Ryan had said it. The connotation in his voice and what he meant was stunning. For a moment, you were quiet, turning his words over in your head. Then, you grinned shyly.

“You’re something else, Ryan Brenner.” It was something he’d said to you many times, and it had grown into a habit, an inside joke. Turning toward him, you took both of his hands and your expression grew serious. “I owe you an explanation,” you started carefully, “But first I want to thank you for bringing such sunshine into my life since you’ve been here. I always look forward to work, but I found myself not dreading the walk there in the cold. I wanted to make sure to bring you some sort of warmth as thanks, even if it was just a cup of coffee during the day… something pulled me toward you, Ryan, And not for any reason other than how genuine you are. You’re unapologetic in who you are, and there’s no pretense you carry around with you. People like you are all but impossible to come by.”

Now that you were talking, really talking and free of anxiety, you couldn’t stop. Words just came pouring out in bursts with barely a moment between. You could talk to Ryan about how you felt about him for an hour, but you needed to get back to the truth and finish the conversation you’d started earlier. In your moment’s pause,Ryan took advantage of your silence and leaned toward you, pressing his lips to yours again softly, almost as if asking permission.

You hummed slightly against his lips, and you felt the warmth of his palm radiating through the material of your shirt. He pressed his hand to the small of your back, drawing you closer. Again, he gifted you with his mouth against yours, gently coaxing your lips open with his tongue, deepening the kiss. Your arm found its way over his shoulder, your hand curling around his neck and fingers getting lost in the long, dark hair there. You’d easily gotten yourself lost in Ryan, and consciously so. Kissing Ryan felt like home.

When he broke away, his eyes were dark with desire, yet he simply rested his forehead against yours, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes briefly. You slowly withdrew your fingers from his hair, your arm from his neck and shoulder, but Ryan’s hand remained on your back. The pressure was light, however, and he was gently running his fingertips up and down the middle of your back, straight over the line of your spine. You closed your eyes at first, relishing in his touch, feeling goosebumps pop up atop your skin. You opened your eyes as you felt him remove his forehead from yours, and you focused your gaze downward. Turning over his hand, you traced your index fingers over the tattoos, vertical lines between his middle and lower knuckles.

“It was my brother.” Finally confessing your truth, your voice was tiny, barely audible, and you felt the fall of your heart into the pit of your stomach. Nerves and shame burrowed there as well and spread like venom throughout your body. Your posture changed, your shoulders tense as you hunched into yourself unconsciously. A bitter taste was on your tongue, and that lump had lodged itself in your throat again, rendering your voice useless. You swallowed past it again, and you looked up at Ryan, knowing a simple glance could give you the courage you needed. His eyes were full of warmth and gentle encouragement, and his palm flattened over your back, rubbing gentle circles in effort to soothe you.

Noel was at rock bottom. Because you’d been forced to change your locks and not give him a key, he’d resorted to breaking down your door and destroying your apartment searching for money that he either owed or needed to sustain his habit. That strength and effort, that apparent absence of remorse in someone who you’d trusted implicitly for years cut you like a knife, but more than that, it terrified you. Your brother had turned into a stranger.

“I don’t know if I’m safe anymore, Ryan.” You looked up at him in a loss. “I don’t know where to go from here.”

Ryan was not a violent man, but at that moment, he felt a white hot anger for the man who had done this to you, your brother, a man he didn’t even know and had never laid eyes on. A man he hadn’t known existed until two minutes ago. But he was concentrating on what didn’t matter, and he needed to reroute that. You mattered. You were all that mattered to him in that moment, your peace of mind and your safety. Dipping his head, he pressed a kiss to the top of your head and indulged in inhaling the scent of your shampoo.

“We’re gonna figure it, okay? I promise you. I’mma be right here ‘till we do.” He paused and placed his index finger under your chin, drawing your face upward gently and catching your eye. Ryan needed you to see his sincerity. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Y/N. We’re in this together, you and me.”

#a familiar face #aff #part 7 #a familar face part 7 #aff part 7 #ryan brenner #ryan brenner x reader #ryan brenner fanfic #ben barnes fanfiction

34 notes · View notes

inxcs · 5 years

Text

kim taehyung , 24 , he/him ------ hey , did i just see siwon ryu walking around the block ? oh ! yes ! the last time i saw him , i heard he wanted to be called siwon . people around say they are so endearing && inquisitive sometimes i wonder how they can be selfish && duplicitous . ( popped bubblegum , glowing under the sun , purple-pink skylines , patterned blouses )

heyo ! i’m deni , she/her pronouns in the gmt+9 section of the world . i can’t keep an aesthetic and i use too many em dashes . below is one of the characters i’m bringing , SIWON , my favorite problem sunflowers . i have some info and verse-specific information beneath , but i have a habit of updating , adding and changing as i go . apologies in advance for how messy all tis is . looking forward to writing with you <3 !

☀ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 .

➤ full name. siwon ryu ➤ date of birth. january 29th ➤ hometown. toronto , canada ➤ gender. cis male ➤ sexual attraction. pansexual ➤ romantic attraction. pansexual ➤ wants. family , power ➤ fears. imprisonment , humiliation

universal facts. hustles at arcade halls , scarfs down burritos like they’re gonna disappear , looks as comfortable in a dark , dirty alley as he does standing under all those lights in the neon districts . pockets full of candy and a lollipop between his lips . likes cheap beer and cigarettes , fast talking and smooth smiles . gets up when the sun goes down . who knows if he ever gets a full night’s sleep , but you can find him taking a nap just about anywhere . seems to live for the dark hours and stays busy as a bee , feels the rain on his skin , plays with matches . spray paints boobs on the sides of government buildings and dicks on malls . can do crazy math in his head and spot fake bills with incredible accuracy . can barely stand to sit still , always moving except when there’s a computer screen or an aquarium in front of him . gets addicted to things so easily it’s scary — people , food , liquor , feelings . craves that intimacy , craves that closeness . has a loud as fuck laugh and a love for sneaking into places where he doesn’t belong . catches extra cash on the side by fixing up broken-down machines and can figure his way around a motor with a bit of elbow grease . fucking loves nature dude --- takes care of plants and reptiles in his home . would die for snakes and lets them drape over him , claims they give the best hugs . vegetarian . would be a vegan but too lazy .

personality. loud , noisy . could talk to a brick wall . holds himself with all the confidence of the sun and his smile burns just as bright . there’s this lazy intensity to everything he does . like , pretends he super cares but also doesn’t ? or pretends he cares so much but in reality couldn’t give a shit . affable , easy to get along with on a surface level , and he’s curious enough to keep any conversation going with questions and enthusiastic energy . mood changes on a dime , goes from grinning like a maniac to eerily calm in a snap of your fingers . intuitive and instinctive , listens to and follows his gut . trusts the energy in the air more than anyone’s word . comes off as thoughtless but it actually very cautious . impulsive doesn’t mean brainless . sniffs out bad situation fast and decides on a dime if he needs to run or face it . go with the flow kind of attitude . doesn’t take things personally . nice but trusting him’s an iffy situation . greedy --- wants everything and anything .

appearance. stands around 5′11 . broad shoulders , slim hips . floppy , messy hair and glowing skin . half legs and a lot of eyelashes . wears no less than five charms on a daily basis and keeps his tarot cards with him at all times . rings , bracelets , necklaces , earrings , crystals , talismans . wears a small lip ring and has several runes tattooed on his body . dresses anywhere between a washed up rockstar , your college weed dealer , and your grandpa in the ‘40s . his closet’s a chaotic mix of anything he could thrift or patch together . most of the time , he’s sporting loose pants , a vintage blouse , a jacket or blazer and comfortable loafers . kind of swims in his clothing because most of its’ two or three sizes too big . only wears skinny jeans when he wants something . unironically wears cargo shorts in the summer . keeps all that hair back with a bandana or a headband , hairties on his wrist . nothing in his closet’s technically new and he loves looking for a bargain steal ——or simply just a steal . sometimes he’s jimi hendrix and other times he’s versace .

☀ 𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 .

⇀ kim taehyung , 24 , he/him ------ hey , did i just see siwon ryu walking around the block ? oh ! yes ! the last time i saw him , i heard he wanted to be called siwon . i hear they are a podcast host ╱ “psychic” . people around town say they are so endearing && generous sometimes i wonder how they can be selfish && duplicitous . ( beaded curtains , purple skies , tousled hair )

about. wrongly labeled a troublemaker after a little incident with some candles , pentagrams and a slightly burned down warehouse , siwon’s been on the road and seeing te road ever since . makes a few quick bucks tapping into that aura of his that somehow magically nudges his brain about who’s got what on their minds and what might happen to those what’s , but no one really seems to believe him when he says it’s all real . starting a podcast straight outta the back of a busted-up RV , siwon’s crossed the country and broke down in this little town . and , so . . . maybe some stuff he was involved with in the past wasn’t totally legal butthat’sokayokayhedoesn’tdothatanymore . ANYWAY--- this town . figures he’ll call it home . it’s groovy enough , he supposes , and after a few attempts to get out of town that just failed , siwon figures this is the universe telling him to settle down for a bit . so okay . his few listeners don’t mind , siwon still does some readings and random lectures on whatever’s on his brain . for extra cash , he does a few side gigs --- fixing up websites , selling crystals and rocks he finds , jobs around town that don’t require him to fork over any semi-serious documentation . takes scenic pictures for his instagram and documents the road-trip across this Great Wide Country he and his pets are seeing . let’s . . . let’s just see how this goes .

☀ 𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 .

⇀ kim taehyung , 24 , he/him , toxokinesis ------ hey , did i just see siwon ryu walking around the block ? or was it poison ? it’s hard to tell , really , all i saw was the commotion , someone being saved . you know , i heard siwon is an app developer . i also heard they are a saint , really , so affable && generous , none of that mercurial && selfish nature people talk about . ( blackened veins , wild eyes , living for the applause )

about. after his parents volunteered him for “ quirk ” studies at a leading research institute , siwon’s been semiworking for the man . but it’s fine . it’s fine . totally fine . spending most of his early life in a tank waiting to be let out , siwon kept himself busy with plant pals , reptiles , and of course a computer screen --- everyone’s favorite parents . he’s developed websites and applications for the hero organization to help them locate and identify trouble around the city , a bridge between 911 services and the heroes themselves . at twenty-two , siwon created a popular app cataloging heroes and villains , a place for fans to post their own pictures of fights and fallouts , gossiping about which heroes were secretly in love and speculating about new faces behind the masks , then a megapopular game where people could play as their favorite heroes or villains to save ( or destroy ) a city . as poison , he wears no cape --- and in fact hasn’t even been seen since the site skyrocketed in popularity years ago . instead , siwon helps in the development of weapons using his poison and sends little , touching notes to baddies all over the world when he isn’t shuttling around on mercenary expeditions . he’ll ignore the mortal coil for now as long as they fly him first class ... he thinks . just hopes the organization doesn’t find his stash of supervillain fanfics . ikes .

☀ 𝟏𝟖𝟓𝟑 .

⇀ kim taehyung , 24 , he/him ------ hey , did i just see siwon ryu over there ? talk around town is that they are a witch , but i don’t believe any of that , no . they are just a con artist , endearing && generous . those are all just humors . like the people saying they were selfish && duplicitous . ( frayed tarot cards , three-piece suits , sticky fingers and a smile )

about. look who got himself invited into a magnate’s manor : a nobody who made a pretty penny from the opium trade ----- and who’s definitely not human . siwon’s bounced from city to city on his own , brewing and selling antidotes to unfortunate come-downs from the drugs that’s rotting them all from the inside out , but that’s only to sell more of that shit once the high’s gone . it’s enough to keep the rich happy enough . popular at parties , he performs as a spiritualist and fortune teller , snakes into conversations he shouldn’t be privy to and trades the information later . he’s a busy man , what can he say ? for someone who wants to be free from all of this , he enjoys parts of the lifestyle far too much . but maybe he should start making friends soon . attracting a lot of attention lately , and with rumors of animals around , even the “fake” witches like himself might find themselves in more trouble with the law . and now there’s the other trouble he’s found himself in . unfortunately caught swindling a vampire , siwon was forced into dealing with a group of witches and their opium trade for protection . now his clients are their’s . his product and profits , partly their’s . siwon’s in a whole other side of the criminal underground on the cusp of the victorian age --- and he doesn’t know what the fuck’s gonna happen .

☀ 𝟐𝟐𝟖𝟎 .

⇀ kim taehyung , 24 , he/him ------ hey , did i just see siwon ryu over there ? yes , oh my ! haven’t you heard ? it seems they have moved to level seven . makes sense , considering they’re a techie . rumor has it they are so affable && inquisitive but i know at heart they are just impulsive && mercurial . ( busted old radios , buzzing neons , sticky situations )

about. tba !

#. development ⇀ siwon ryu .#multivrseintro

2 notes · View notes

comicteaparty · 5 years

Text

February 1st-February 7th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from February 1st, 2020 to February 7th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What is the nicest thing someone has said about your story, whether its published or still a WIP?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Well, this is one I can answer right away. It's not a very straightforward answer, but I had someone reference me and my comic in an essay about reasons why they were able to love themself... It was for a creative writing class, and they just used me as an example of a greater thing (indie media)... and I only know about it because they asked me permission. but they let me read the essay, and it made me cry. I havent heard from them in a while and I really hope they're okay, but that really stuck with me in a way nothing else has. It's not really a quote, though, so the nicest comment I have recieved was "I can tell how much you love people by reading this story." It was really sweet in a way I can't quite articulate. People have been incredibly sweet to me, and I feel very blessed. I could make a long list detailing the kindness I have been shown.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Apparently Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) has made more than one person cry already. Which, to me, is pretty darn high praise, given that I've barely begun the story

Having people find it and say "THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF STORY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR" also hits a nerve. I know that feeling. You like certain themes/motifs and you wish someone would blend them together in just the right way. It can be magical.

And the last one is when I learned that children like it. A few have come forward so far - either in person or through their parents - and told me they loved it. It was around that age that I was building my own 'inner library' of inspirations for the comic. To know that I might be part of theirs, even in a small way, is just... the best?

Deo101 [Millennium]

that's all so incredibly nice <3

and now I wanna add to my list actually I don't want to interrupt, this is just a topic I wish I could sing from the rooftops about... I also had a student of mine (I am a teacher at a church) come out to me because he knew I would be okay with who he is. And, I have had people tell me it's inspiring to them, which kinda makes my heart melt. I'll stop now but, really I could go on and on about how open and loving people have been with me and my work, and how much it means to me.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Man... This is somewhat difficult for me to answer since I am so early into my comic creating journey. However, I will say that I recently got a comment on my comic Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366) that made me smile. A long time reader commented that they always read my new pages twice, once on Webtoon, and again on Tapas. This really made me realize that my work has meaning to somebody other than myself, which is definitely what I need to hear when I'm doubting myself.

Mei

It's so nice reading about nice comments people have gotten and honestly... y'all deserve it!! I need to be in a better habit of commenting myself because I will promote comics to my friends for days on end but I'm too shy to leave a comment, even though I love receiving comments myself. I think the nicest comments I've received have been in combination with the conventions I was at last year. People told me that they thought the comic was funny, which I am incredibly thankful for. And one person who bought the book at the convention took the time to find it on Tapas and then comment on the latest page, saying that they'd talked to me, read the book, and that they liked it. That meant so much to me it was crazy! And another time, I was showing my book to someone at a convention and she said that she actually read the comic online, which honestly... It's so strange and surreal to me to meet anyone in real life who reads things posted online. It made my heart do smiley emoji. I think what LadyLazuli said is really right, this idea that you're a small part of someone's life or inspirations or just general day is pretty amazing?! Also this one guy commented on every page week to week with the same 'vase' joke on several updates and honestly the commitment was truly astounding

kayotics

I think some of the nicest comments come from one specific reader, who has mentioned a couple times that going back and reading the comic has helped them through some tough times. There was also one person who went to the effort of contacting me after their books were damaged from flooding, and wanted to buy new books to replace the old ones. This was wild since they wanted to do something so inconvenient (paying with cash by mail, and I didn't even have an online storefront in the first place) to replace the books.

twothirty

really early on i had 1 reader that would leave in-depth analysis of some character interactions and they were were spot on and made me really feel like people cared about this story . The other interaction that really stands out was doing the convention circuit last year I had a reader come up to say hi, and usually that interaction is just "i love your comic!" (which is amazing) but he also then talked to me at length about the story and again it was this feeling of just knowing someone out there cares about what you're doing. Comics feels particularly isolating so interactions like that really keep me going.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

I've had two different readers tell me our comic has brought them joy during bad days. Sadly one of them I haven't heard from in 2 years and they were going through some rough times. I hope they're okay

Nutty (Court of Roses)

The nicest thing I've heard was when my coworker told me him and his daughter were reading it, and he told me that she's "drawing like me" with panels and stuff and keeps asking him "how do i make the bubbles" So they're gonna work on that and then he's gonna show it to me.

keii4ii

Any time someone gets what I'm trying to do with the story. I have a great fear of getting good intentioned people trashing the most important parts of my story (without realizing their importance). So whenever someone gets what the story is all about, whether as a whole or just one scene, it's a huge weight off my chest. Legit brings tears to my eyes. Even if I manage to overcome that fear some day, comments like that would mean a lot to me. Being understood has always been very important to me.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Someone recently said they wanted to get a tattoo of something in the comic and that was cool. It also means a lot when people respond well to the jokes in the comic because I put a lot into the writing to make it funny. I hope it makes someone cry someday Joe Is Dead http://joeisdead.com/read

DanitheCarutor

Ffff all my readers have been so compassionate, it's jarring! In a nice way! Choosing one nice thing is hard, every comment has been nice. I guess the most flattering is when a someone takes the time to go back to the previous chapters to link little things up with the current events in the story, or when they manage to remember in spite of how webcomics update so slowly. There was a comment I saved a while back where someone remembered a small thing in chapter 3 and was doing some brainstorming with it relating to the current chapter at the time.

Every so often someone also leaves a paragraph with some of the most motivational gushing, it's so nice! Oh! Also, there have been a few people who've asked me to print my comic so they can have a physical copy (which I'm slowly starting to do), which is super motivating knowing a couple people like my depressing comic enough to want to own a copy of it.

keii4ii

Oh man, I too have saved screenshots of some of my favorite comments, but I don't wanna share them because 1) some of them are long and 2) maybe the commenters wouldn't want their names disclosed in a different context? They are great to save for a rainy day, though!

Tuyetnhi

Oh this is hard I remember one comment on tapas that they got their aunt and cousin reading it and I was flattered! Most comments I got were about the artstyle and progression of the story, which I hope to continue if school lets me. Still, I'm quite surprised that it drove someone to get their family to read a romance about someone's dream lover lmao

also same keii!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Honestly, I have far too many comments I should screenshot. But so many of them are praising the art, and I never know how to feel about it. Like, those types of comments make me happy, but I never know how to truly feel about them.

keii4ii

Art is admittedly easier to comment on. If I'm commenting on art on anyone's comic, I try to point out how it contributes to the storytelling, rather than "ooh pretty and shiny." Pretty and shiny is valid but I'd be just doing illustrations if that were my main goal!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

But if 9/10 comments are, "Wow, the art is so pretty!" I can't really react to it much, especially since my own self-doubt is constantly reminding me of my mistakes.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I've been really excited to answer this question because it gives me an opportunity to thank any and all the fans and people who celebrate our work. I've been so humbled by all of the wonderful and amazing fanart we've received, music paired with scenes from our comic, and fans even imagining scenarios of the characters themselves-- I'm constantly blown away! I do have my most treasured moment however, and that was when we were tabling at TCAF a couple years back. We had been swamped with crowds, selling, and early mornings-- it was a long day! That was until we had one person who went through the trouble to see us in person, and handcraft a drawing to deliver to us, saying thank you, and in that moment I bawled!! They quickly left after us thanking them so much, and I'll never forget that and how much it gave us a fire to see this whole project through. We have it framed and it sits in front of our cpu

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I got one comment where someone said that one of my main characters "seems sweet," and it just left me confused because, a) he's only said about ten words total, and b) in those ten words, he has somehow managed to be rude.

So how is he sweet???

But I mean, I should be happy that he seems likeable despite his attitude and reticence

Tuyetnhi

nice lmao

I do agree about the comments about the artwork being pretty and idk how to repond other than thanks lmao(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yep

That's pretty much all I can say

Because I would HOPE my art looks pretty good after a decade drawing haha

Tuyetnhi

tho tbh because of the nature of my comic, I do get the occasional thirst comment and I'm just sitting there bawling

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh yeah, I get those

Tuyetnhi

"Wow he's buff"

"yea bc I made him like that lmao"

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

People drooling about my male MC mainly

It's so awkward, but I knew it would happen

Tuyetnhi

same, but for the male love interest and i'm like "this is expected lmao"

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING

keii4ii

I get like 0 thirsty comment despite one of the MCs being an athletic cat dude with literal secret tentacles (I'm okay with not getting a lot of thirsty comments, but I do find it interesting)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've gotten thirsty comments and my comic is not meant to be romantic or sexy at all

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh, I can leave you some thirsty comments

I love Lu

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I was going to say they are inevitable(edited)

but kei proved that wrong

Tuyetnhi

same I love Lu too lmao

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

And will gladly praise his hotness

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

if your comic goes on for long enough, i think you will get some eventually. it is a rule of the internet

keii4ii

It's been ongoing since Nov 2014 XD But I guess it takes longer for some than others!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@keii4ii I don't think you quite understand

I have never been attracted to animal-people before

I have always found anthros and such weird

And yet

Lu is totally my thing

Tuyetnhi

Strangely attractive for a cat guy lol

points for those who get the ref

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

how do you guys know what their comic is?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

He is way too attractive

keii4ii

Mine? Cronaj and Tuyetnhi came across it outside this Discord, I believe!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yep

I have been reading it for a few years now

Although I can't say exactly when, because HoK has been a part of my life for so long

Tuyetnhi

I think I started reading it a year or 2 ago lol

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii The only nice thing about Webtoons is that there aren't any profiles to check, so you can't look up fans via their comments. Also if you did Google their username there isn't a guarantee whoever you find would be that Webtoons user without them telling you. Lmao! About the thirsty comments, I used to get them a lot of Webtoons. There was this one scene where my smaller MC pulled the taller one to their face to say "Your friend is dead", before shoving him away and walking off. Some of my readers went wild! They wanted the two MCs to make-out so bad, even though the scene clearly had no romantic chemistry... or even the entire comic for that matter. My thirsty bunch came off really desperate and reaching at times.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Omg, that's just precious

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I really have never gotten thirsty comments, with the exception of one or two very mild 'Oh, that character is attractive' comments. But I think my comics just don't really attract thirsty readers. Of course, I rarely get any reader feedback, so that's probably part of it.

keii4ii

@DanitheCarutor Yeah, that's a plus about the semi-anonymity! My screenshots are from less anonymous places, so yeah. Some are also from like... Discord, where the person may not even have expected the comment to be archived in any way. (Sometimes I actually asked if I could screenshot, but I don't know if I asked every time...)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

No one has ever reported finding my characters attractive

Deo101 [Millennium]

People thinking my characters are hot is a pretty common thing, and usually I don't mind but... sometimes it's the bane of my existence.

It's always a little bit weird, though

every time someone is like "dat ass " I'm like alright bud keep it to urself

it's part of why I made all of my characters adults, actually

people even before I started making it, just when I was talking to them about it or showing my art would STILL be overly sexual about my characters so I aged them up where it felt less weird for me.

kayotics

I’ll get thirst comments every once in a while, usually on tapas. I don’t mind it too much, especially since I’m usually making characters that I’m also attracted to? I usually think thirst comments are funny

DanitheCarutor

Pfff I'm in a similar boat to Deo's. Usually I don't mind, but there are moments where it sucks. Like there will be a really serious, or heavy scene and someone will pop up with "Make them kiss!!", "Don't be mean to your future hubby, X! Kiss him and make up!!". It totally feels they don't actually care about the story and just want something to jack it off to. xD I don't get a whole lot of thirst anymore, which is nice. I think the vocal group lost interest after being blue-balled for 3-4 chapters. Weirdest thing, I have yet to get anyone saying my characters are attractive... well, some readers used to say Julian (my questionable looking non-binary character) was pretty but they weren't really thirsty, just observations. At least they came off like that. My style makes characters look kind of ugly, so comments about any of my cast being attractive is non-existent. @keii4ii Ooh yeah, I can see how that would be an issue. Although, if you really want to show off some super nice comments, you can also just cover or blur out their username and icon image. A lot of people do that, it's really good for keeping up the user's anonymity, and I don't think they would mind since you're not using their words slanderously.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Can I admit I sort of wish I got some thirsty and shipping comments? I also draw characters I think are hawt so I kinda wish my readers felt the same way. XD I don’t really want them in Ashes were my characters are teens, but in Eryl where 95% of the cast is legal age, I kinda wish some people wanted to be a little bit thirsty about it. XD

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, i just wish it wasnt... Idk sometimes it seems like thats ALL people see and it makes me sad

Like theres other stuff going on...

eli [a winged tale]

I feel you too Cap’n! I sort of expected shipping comments for AWT https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/keyspace-a-winged-tale/list?title_no=322364 but yeah they’re still kids discovering themselves! When I start my adult fantasy comic (tentatively planned), then I’m all on board for sure. For the question, I love and screenshot every comment to peruse whenever I feel down. I treasure all of them but one that particularly stood out for me was a writer reimagining all their stories with my art and characters and that just about made me cry happy tears

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So far the only 'thirst comments' I've gotten are when the comic gets even the slightest bit... gay I can't say my story revolves around major LGBTQ+ themes, but people have picked up on random bits of subtext between characters (which is mostly intentional on my part, not gonna lie) and specifically take time to comment on them. It makes me happy to see people reading between the lines. And it also helps me know what the readers like or are really looking for. So... yeah, I'm gonna keep on that path

eli [a winged tale]

Did I miss that in phantomarine?? Howww

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

The subtlest of subtle subtext... which will become far less subtle over time

Nutty (Court of Roses)

i am deliberately pushing my main ship to get ppl into it lmao

YOU WANT THESE TWO TO KISS, I PROMISE

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

GOSH I know this feeling too well I feel like I don't want to overwhelm the readers, but I want them to still realize "...Hmmmmmm, yeah I kinda want this."

eli [a winged tale]

I’m so intrigued now

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

good

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

wait i can't think of anything remotely gay/romantic in phantomarine

besides maybe

phaedra and... cheth?

eli [a winged tale]

The shipping comments in AWT are currently on point at exactly where I want them to be

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i don't believe you would go for that, but shipping enemies is a very common fandom thing

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I wish I had more people shipping my characters because I'm all alone in it right now

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Nutty (Court of Roses) I'm doing the same in Ashes. I'm being super obvious about Anor x Rava being a future couple. XD

So far I haven't really gotten any comments about it. Idk if my readers care about romance at all.

Which is okay, because I don't really write much romance into my comics.

Even though I secretly wish for a bit of shipping from readers.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I have to find out how visibly and obviously gay the characters have to act before people pick up on it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

sssfrs, your comic just doesn't feel like the kind of comic people would ship characters in, though. Even the relationship between the captain and the guy that left, though lovely, feels, i don't know, too mature to really ship?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

It's not the focus of the plot though so it's not essential just would be fun

Deo101 [Millennium]

people were shipping page 2 for me so idk

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

That's a fair way to look at it

Deo101 [Millennium]

apparently they need to be next to eachother , in my experience

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think the art style plays a part, too

people were shipping my characters also from page two. But I have a "prettier" style than sssfrs

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, I think the only way readers even know my characters are queer is from the extra art I make of them for Pride month each year. On panel the gay isn't incredibly obvious.

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah, and I do WANT people to ship them so its not like I mind. I like shippers (when they are in line with my plans)

eli [a winged tale]

Yes Deo!! Exactly

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Some characters I think have a great dynamic but I just haven't published enough of the material that shows their chemistry yet so I can't blame anyone for not seeing it

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

^same for me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

looking forward to seeing that in both your comics!

i follow both

eli [a winged tale]

That’s fair ssfrs I’m all for the slow burn

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

It's true that my goal isn't to make the characters visually attractive and appealing in that way as much as in personality and interactions

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I do keep seeing people leave 1* ratings for Eryl on WT and I can't help but wonder if it's homophobes angry about a character sheet I shared that mentioned the character was lovingly raised by two dads. Bc there has been nothing really controversial on-panel in the comic, and I have such a small audience it has no other reason to keep attracting hate.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yeah, that's what i was trying to say. couldn't think of a good way to say that though. but i like your art and feel like it fits your story well

( at sssfrs)

i don't think there are a large number of homophobes on WT. If anything, there's an overabundance of the opposite- fetishists

people leave 1 star on WT for random reasons like you not updating enough

don't worry about it

eli [a winged tale]

Link your webcomics? With <> . Love to check them out

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/puppeteer/list?title_no=290620

Deo101 [Millennium]

I get a lot of fetishists, yeah....

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/dark-wings-eryl/list?title_no=287293

Deo101 [Millennium]

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/millennium/list?title_no=110866

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Idk, maybe they don't like that I update in traditional pages, then, Who knows

All I know is every time my ratings start crawling back up, suddenly they'll take a big hit.(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

idk, some people just seem to do that kinda thing

I have thought it could be other creators before, too...

trying to make less competition or something. but that would be cruel and I dont like to think someone would do that

so I prefer to think its just someone who didnt like my stuff

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

eh i prefer to think the best of people

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

It's not like I'm super successful or anything. The algorithms haven't been kind to either of my comics so I'm hardly competition.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i'm not going to think it's other creators

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah that's what Im saying

like its popped in my head and then I was like literally who would do that

thatd be reaaaaal messed up

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

hey, how to i add my comic name in paren to my name on this server?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Unfortunately I know a lot of creators who would. They just don't hang out in spaces like these.

Deo101 [Millennium]

just edit your nickname in the options

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Mine is called Joe Is Dead, on here http://joeisdead.com/ and on tapas https://tapas.io/series/JoeIsDead

Deo101 [Millennium]

oh right I actually have another comic. It was on hiatus over a year so I havent gotten into the habit of sharing it...

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, go to the ... next to the server name and it opens up a menu with the 'change nickname' option.

Deo101 [Millennium]

https://tapas.io/series/Time-and-Time-again

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I put the title in my name

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

My other comic is here on WT: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/children-of-shadow-ashes/list?title_no=145048&page=1

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i just don't like dismissing negative feedback. I don't want to get negative reviews and just brush them off as jealous people because i know my comic definitely has room to improve and would rather negative feedback motivate me to look for ways how

got it, thanks!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I love negative feedback. I want to put out the best work I can & hearing what people don't like or don't think is working helps me do that

Deo101 [Millennium]

theres constructive feedback, and then theres people telling me my characters are stupid and I think I can brush the latter off

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Unfortunately, I have been the victim of vicious jealous reviews. I've seen a lot of ugly in the webcomic world over the many years I've been doing this. Some creators be petty.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) hm if i were to give negative feedback about your comic I'd say the biggest things are that you have a lot of characters that in my mind are kind of hard to differentiate, and also it can be really hard to tell where your characters are in space. But those don't matter too much, as they both will probably get better with time. Your biggest strength imo in your dialogue anyways

keii4ii

Not every negative feedback is relevant to my goals, is key for me. It's the whole "you can't please everyone" principle. My target audience does not include every person out there. If my target audience falls in love with what I make, then that's success for me. I don't need to impress the rest of the world.

keii4ii

(Thanks Tatsu.)

Deo101 [Millennium]

You have a different definition of "negative feedback" than I do.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

who are you referring to?(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

You

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

in what way?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I can usually tell the difference between 'This person has a different idea of what this story should be than I do' and 'This person has it out for me because of jealousy or spite'

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Yeah I've found it really hard to juggle the consistency with where characters are standing all the time. I write out lists of the order they're spatially located in an effort to keep track of them. Hopefully I'll get better with practice

Deo101 [Millennium]

the negative feedback I am talking about is basically straight up hate. Constructive criticism, pointing out the flaws of a work, isnt "negative feedback" by my definition.

so saying "I want negative feedback" means something different for you than it does for me.

i WILL dismiss people being straight up rude to me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

hm, I feel like a lot of people define negative feedback the same way i do, constructive criticism about what you could do better. If you say you dont want negative feedback you might get people thinking you don't want critique at all. imo what you are referring to might be more clearly just called "hate"

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'll consider it if someone is trying to help, even if most of the time I ignore it

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I also get the random 1 star ratings on Webtoon, so I think some people are just easy to hate stuff(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yo sssfrs, you keep track of where characters are in space by writing lists??

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

These are probably also the same people who dislike videos habitually on Youtube

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i can't imagine working with that

Deo101 [Millennium]

I actually dont want critique at all.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it seems so hard

Deo101 [Millennium]

not if I dont ask for it.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Con crit and hate aren't the same thing, though

One is genuinely trying to help you improve, the other is just trying to bring you down.(edited)

And it's okay to not want the former

Deo101 [Millennium]

and I would say "negative feedback" doesnt include con crit

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Just because you make something doesn't mean you have to want people to give crit on it.(edited)

Yeah

I agree, because GOOD con crit is usually polite because if the person knows what they're talking about, they were where you are now and will be nice about it.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

From my experience the best critiques come from other artists doing similar work to you

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i don't think all negative con crit is helpful, either. people also need to know what their strengths are so they know what to keep instead of just what to remove

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

They might not even be trying specifically to be nice about it

But their words feel less hurtful

eli [a winged tale]

I feel like there are comments which are reviews (fair enough, everyone has subjective opinions) but I feel like constructive criticisms should be more private and take place in specific settings (most importantly where the creators are in a position of wanting them)

Nutty (Court of Roses)

@eli [a winged tale] https://courtofroses.spiderforest.com/

eli [a winged tale]

What I think most readers don’t understand or know is that the comic that does make its way to the public quite often has already been through rigorous critique and feedback

Nutty (Court of Roses)

(sorry, was late to that haha, i agree on your feelings about crits)

Deo101 [Millennium]

see, I dont know what you mean by "negative con crit" In my experience, a critique that is negative is not a critique and is more an opportunity for someone to flex.

helpful critiques may FEEL negative, because they are pointing out your flaws, but they arent negative

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think you're defining "negative" and "hateful" the same way, but other people are not(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

I call them constructive feedback. Then on the other hand, yeah there are negative comments that are there to serve the OP’s sentiments(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I use constructive if it is helpful, and negative if it is harmful

eli [a winged tale]

But I just don’t think the comment platform supports the constructive feedback part. The comments currently represent the OP’s views which are very much subjective. It’s hard to know if they are providing feedback from a place of knowing story structure/art competency

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

critique does mean a lot more when I ask for it from an artist I respect

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. It’s quite an intimate process

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but i can still take casual comments into consideration when trying to improve

things like, it's confusing, or i don't understand what's happening

eli [a winged tale]

I think trust in the critiquer’s background and intention for you to improve are imperative(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

speaking of comments that say the comic is confusing, god i hate getting those comments the most. Because they come from people genuinely trying to read and like my comic and represent a failure of my storytelling skills

eli [a winged tale]

Plus there is a skill/art (no pun intended haha) to giving feedback. That’s a whole nother can of worms

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but better to hear that and know it than not

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

It's not always a failure of storytelling skills, though. Some people's brains work along a certain line, and when a story is told that doesn't gel with that, it seems confusing to the person. That doesn't mean the writing was bad, it just means that the author communicates differently than the reader.(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

^ thats what I was gonna say

I have a small group of people who I trust who are editors, writers, or artists. I go to them to see if I'm doing the best I can for my goals.

if people get confused then there isnt too much more that I can do...

not saying my work is perfect, of course...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i can't just brush it off by saying I communicate differently than the reader when I'm trying to communicate to the reader

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

But not every reader is your audience, though

Nutty (Court of Roses)

^^^^

your message sometimes can't reach certain people, and that's not your fault

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

If all the readers are confused, that's one thing. If only a few are, well, your writing style just wasn't for them.

eli [a winged tale]

For sure. Agree Capn and Deo. There’s a lot of work that goes behind the scenes that readers are unaware

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

true true. But there are a few people who have said the same things, so I've taken those to heart and added dialogue that made it more clear. I don't regret that

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Your comic is public, and it's going to be seen by a very wide variety of people with all different kinds of reading comprehension and tastes. You're never going to appeal to all of hem, and plenty won't understand what you're trying to do. But that doesn't mean what you're making is bad. It just means it, like every story, is for a particular audience.

Yeah, if it's a repeated crit, it is something to keep in mind, but just remember that incorporating a crit shouldn't change what you're trying to do, only refine it.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ive had a couple people say "I'm confused but Im enjoying whats going on" and I dont even know what I would begin to do about that

eli [a winged tale]

I usually trust my beta readers for that. If there are confusing parts then I would ask them how to clarify that best

I think these creator based forums are best to seek feedback and see what could potentially be remedied

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Of course. And I don't think my comic is bad. But one example was when I realized some confusion stemmed from me having a speech bubble that read, "without her," and didn't realize "her" could refer to two different characters which would make what was being said have two very different meanings. It's easy to overestimate how understandable your story is as an author that already knows everything that's going on. I think confusion is a good thing to pay attention to- I've definitely read comics before and dropped them because the author didn't pay enough attention to introducing things to the audience

(also dropped comics because they paid too much attention to introducig things but)

Deo101 [Millennium]

yes, like I said I have a small group of friends who are all writers, editors, and artists who can give me a pretty dang good beta read.

eli [a winged tale]

They are so great. Don’t know what I’d do without them

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

At that point I'd honestly keep going with what you have - there are several stories I've gone into with confusion, but also greatly enjoyed them, or even got less confused over time. Some readers need time to put the pieces together. So long as someone enjoys it on some level, I think that makes the comic successful. Maybe not completely - but not every comic will be everything to all people.

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. Sometimes as well you gotta trust your story writing/art skills.

Deo101 [Millennium]

yup!

and like I'm not doing too bad for my first comic so I think I got something going for me at least.

I understand I have room to grow...

but I would like to keep that to people who I trust wont steer me wrong

eli [a winged tale]

Always room to grow for sure!

Deo101 [Millennium]

and arent just pushing what they want from me on me

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. Feedback/ beta reading has its own set of skills. There’s always places to improve but the key is to determine specifically where that can be and how feasible(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I remember the first time I read Unsounded, I had absolutely no idea what was going on because of how Ashley structures her world-building. But there were aspects of it that were very engaging, so I stuck with it. After finishing the archives, I went back and reread. Now that I understood what all the terms meant, it made perfect sense on the second go-round. It's now one of my favourite webcomics. Some stories are just told differently, and that's okay.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

There’s certainly an element of trust you must put to the creators that it’ll all make sense at the end

Deo101 [Millennium]

someone got very mad at me for how I have shown my trans characters so far.. I had to explain that the story isnt done yet, and they have to trust I'll bring it up

it's a WIP and there is some trust that NEEDS to be had

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lol I have only one artist/writer friend (struggles of working in a non-art career), and she understands everything I write exactly as I intended it and I love it. But she's my friend for a reason- we tend to think the same way and read similar things. Don't think it's wrong to try to cater to a wider audience as well

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Deo101 [Millennium] I wonder if anyone will react once I reveal that Anor is intersex/trans on panel. I'm really hoping I don't find out if any of my readers are transphobes -or- angry that he isn't ostentatiously trans.

Deo101 [Millennium]

someone was mad I didnt show my cyborg transitioning cause it could be so cool of a concept to see his original robot body and I was like literally none of what you said applies to him also thats kinda gross

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Wut

Deo101 [Millennium]

YEAH

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

There might be some transphobes. But it's worth dealing with them for the people who your comic will resonate with more for having a trans character in it

Deo101 [Millennium]

alsooooo some people might be upset, but then they will leave and you will be left with better people.

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I feel like me having a non-binary character and insisting on correcting everyone who misgenders them deters transphobes away p quickly.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

^^^ some people will dislike, but those who like will really like

and a smaller, better fanbase is better than a larger one that cares less(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

hear hear

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I'm hoping some will resonate with him! I don't think I've ever seen any intersex rep in any story, so I really want people to know they can have a hero like them.(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm trying to think of stories with intersex rep

I feel like there must be some, but I can't bring any up : /

Sazed from Mistborn is written as though he's intersex, but he clearly identifies as male and the story treating him as intersex actually feels a bit disrespectful

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Me neither. The only thing I've seen in stories is gross 'hermaphrodite' jokes when mocking a cis character.

I really want to give positive representation.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

webcomics have so much lgbt representation. I feel as though I must have seen an intersex character somewhere in there, but I'm not sure I have.(edited)

it feels kind of weird(edited)

I've seen characters that don't have genders because they're gods or whatnot but I feel like that's different

Deo101 [Millennium]

I mean, I have intersex characters I supposed but theyre alien genders so I also think that's different and wouldnt call them intersex

DanitheCarutor

I don't know the whole conversation, but @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios), you'll be fine! Most transphobic people quietly leave, only the really sad, pitiful ones make a stink and their opinions are pretty laughable. If you get crap laugh in their faces like they're morons. I would also say my character Julian is intersex, but I'm not sure how much it counts since it was a recent decision I made (after doing a lot of research) due to readers headcanoning them as an intersex character.

I think I know of a couple other comics with intersex characters if you want to check out some, lemme go look through my lists.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@DanitheCarutor I'd love to see other comics with intersex representation! And I think Julian totally counts? I don't see a problem with reconsidering a character's sex, gender, or orientation as we become more aware of issues in the world, or even just more aware of our own characters. Webcomics are always a work-in-progress and things change as we go.

eli [a winged tale]

@DanitheCarutor I’d love to know them too!

keii4ii

Re: clarity and confusion, sometimes a small change in wording or such can improve the clarity greatly, and that's great! But I agree that reader confusion doesn't necessarily = failure in storytelling. I've published my comic first in Korean, and a much improved version in English. The cultural difference in the audience has shown to be a huge factor in terms of what's clear and what isn't, or how certain things come across. And that's just one factor.

DanitheCarutor

So I only know of one comic personally, Drop-Out! Sure the characters are anthros, and the bubbles can be hard to read, but it is one of my favorite comics! Of course it's kinda heavy so be aware of that. http://drop-out.thecomicseries.com/ Although I checked out the Webcomic Library tagpacker and found a few. (including Drop-Out) https://tagpacker.com/user/webcomic.library?t=Intersex LGBT Webcomics also has a few that aren't listed in the above list. https://tagpacker.com/user/lgbtwebcomics?t=intersex @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) Lol yeah, I guess so. My readers made me put a lot of thought into it, and after the research being intersex actually fits a lot better with Julian's type of gender dysphoria and confusion than when they were AAB male. It also make some small, more intimate parts of the story feel more natural? It's hard to explain, it just feels better.(edited)

keii4ii

Like, making my work as accessible as possible has never been a goal for me with this story. So to me, it's not a failure that a large number of people can't see parts of the story that aren't being spelled out. I can totally respect "I want my work to be more accessible, so if all these people are not Getting It, then I need to do a better job" as a valid stance. Just not one I'm taking. It's all about individual goals and priorities.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh boy, writing a fantasy story with a very developed culture is kinda scary, because NOBODY is going to pick up on cultural nuances except for me(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I DO want my work to be more accessible/reach a wider audience, but that still doesnt mean it will be for everyone, too.(edited)

keii4ii

Not gonna lie, I get a little salty when I see someone claiming their story is "for everyone." I feel like such a claim is disrespectful to different cultures and tastes.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i just started drop out and damn, that's one hell of an opening

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I genuinely don't think it's possible to make a story for everyone lol

like... idk literally just by making it "sci fi" that excludes many people who just don't like sci-fi

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've never seen anyone claiming their story is for everyone

Deo101 [Millennium]

I feel like just to get to your premise, not even your personal execution you're already super narrowing the people down who will be interested

which is fine!!! and is necessary to accept imo

keii4ii

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've seen it. Not often but I've definitely seen it.

I've even seen a creator accuse another person of being heartless because the person was not interested in their Very Emotional And Universally Heartfelt comic, so uhhh yeah

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ope

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Well then

That just sounds like an illusioned creator

Deo101 [Millennium]

I kinda like to think of it like music

I dont like a lot of songs that other people love, it's not that they're bad songs just... not for me(edited)

keii4ii

Yeah! I also think the word "taste" is very fitting

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah for sure

keii4ii

Some of us can eat ghost peppers like popcorns. Others would even avoid like... crackled black pepper

Deo101 [Millennium]

ahahhahaha

mac n cheese has a very wide audience, but some people aren't into it

DanitheCarutor

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Lmao! Drop-Out is quite a unique piece of fiction. I have also seen creators who say their comic is for everyone, then get made when someone isn't interested.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm gonna start saying millennium is like mac n cheese now

keii4ii

@Deo101 [Millennium] That reminds me of "what drink would your comic be" !!

Deo101 [Millennium]

ahahahahah

someone: my comic is WATER EVERYONE NEEDS IT

keii4ii

I answered: "I want HoK to be liquid bacon fat, so that it'll stay in your heart forever."

Deo101 [Millennium]

ew LMAO

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

even if your comic is water, some people don't drink water

Deo101 [Millennium]

but cute? I gues????

DanitheCarutor

That sounds like a fun game, "If your comic were food what would it be?"

Mine would be sardine pizza, only weirdos like it.

Deo101 [Millennium]

next weeks creator babble question

LMSLDJGLASJGK

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@DanitheCarutor its got such good art. The characters are so unique and expressive. Don't think I've seen anyone not use anti-aliasing on such detailed art before, but it works here

almost all webcomics are some weird food. We're niche just by nature

DanitheCarutor

It DOES have great art! And it gets better as you go too, by the time I reached the end then looked back on the first pages for nostalgia it was almost like night and day with the quality.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

fuck, really? but it's so polished already

DanitheCarutor

I mean, I guess that's not something to get excited about, most webcomics get better artwise as they go. Lmao! But still!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i love how the about page makes this sound like a fun roadtrip adventure

Deo101 [Millennium]

this feels mayble like the wrong chat for this discussion?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

My comic would be a latte: A lot of people like it, but some people will never like coffee.

keii4ii

I can imagine HoK being like Chung Gook Jang soup? It's 1) Korean, 2) it warms you up, 3) it is very polarizing even among Koreans. It's kinda like... imagine miso soup on ultra mega steroid. Like a vegan version of supersharp stinky cheese. And 4) I love it.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

im alphabet soup because i have a fuckton of dialogue

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm actually gonna stick with mac n cheese. a bit childish, but it's nice! you can do some fun things with it to shake things up, but it's still cheese and noodles.

keii4ii

Mac n cheese is amazing.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I love mac n cheese.

another reason why it's my comic! I love it, and it's something I can actually make

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

As for food, WotP would definitely something like authentic Mexican tacos. Again, generally well-received, but can be a bit intense for a lot of people

keii4ii

I really like food analogies. Sometimes it's not Gordon Ramsey you're trying to impress. Sometimes you want to make something you and/or your loved ones will enjoy, and if that's "WAY too much [ingredient]!!!!" for everyone else out there, that's not a flaw!

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah! :D

keii4ii

That's actually good food for thought (no pun intended): what niche aspects does your comic contain? How/why are they niche?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) How do you do it?

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I think I once described mine as a corrupted tropical cocktail. On the surface: sweet, pretty, very colorful - but all the ingredients used to make it are rotten

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I thought of Cricket as intersex for a long time and I still don't know exactly where I stand on that.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I draw a diagram of where characters/ furniture are from above. Niche things: Most conflicts are resolved through anticlimactic conversation. Also there's this huge bit about consensual mind control. I wrote the comic I'd want to read, and somehow found a few people like me to follow along

I also usually don't have more than 2 characters interacting

so it's easier for me

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I have so many busy group scenes with people moving around. The most recent chapter was kind of a mess also because I wasn't really sure about the dimensions of the space they were all in

This scene was also pretty rushed in general

Re: intersex characters I feel like I've been shying away from that because I don't feel like I know enough about the topic to adequately represent intersex people

Joe Is Dead has a really specific aesthetic to it but I don't know how to define that niche. It's definitely something

Deo101 [Millennium]

I honestly could not answer that question about what niche things my comic contains. I don't know what about my comic is mainstream or not, I'm just making what I want to see and not really worrying about stuff like that.

keii4ii

For me, having an idea of what's niche about my comic actually lessens my worries!

It's a "okay, so I know these things are niche, which means people not liking or even getting those things =/= my failure!" kinda thing for me!

But I can also see how not thinking about what's niche or not can lessen the worries for others, too.

Deo101 [Millennium]

mhm, for me it means I can just go "well I like it anyways sooooooooo"

keii4ii

Yeah, that's the destination! We're just taking different routes to get there

Deo101 [Millennium]

I also genuinely just have a hard time determining whether or not something is niche

even if I thought about it for a while (I've been thinking about it since you asked, and I have thought about it before" I genuinely couldnt pinpoint it for you...

keii4ii

I used to beat myself up very badly every time someone didn't like a thing about my comic

Deo101 [Millennium]

keii4ii

and "oh, 1) this is subjective, 2) I like it like this, and 3) my liking of it is valid" was how I crawled out of that hole

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I don't know if my comic is specifically niche, unless you count "low fantasy" (or essentially fantasy with less magic and such) as niche

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My comic has a lot of specific nautical and history content that you could call niche

Also surrealism

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i would call Joe Is Dead "niche," but not WoTP

I've read both

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I... used to think my comics weren't niche. Ohohohohoho how wrong I was!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Id say millennium isnt niche then it's basically just gay sci fi it's p straightforward

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

My comics are very, incredibly, undeniably niche.

DanitheCarutor

@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) It is difficult to understand if you're not intersex yourself, even though I studied a lot before making the decision about my character I still don't know if I'll represent the topic properly. The best you can really do is get into researching all the medical stuff, talk to people willing to share their experiences with being intersex, and watch videos of people talking about it from a professional and personal perspective. The hardest thing to get right about something so subjective and personal is that everyone's experiences are different, so no matter how much you research you just gotta do your best with the info you have, then figure out how your character would experience it personally.(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I don't think anything magical happens until Chapter 11 of WotP, now that I think about it

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Also @DanitheCarutor thank you for the links!! I'll have to give those comics a look!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’m still backreading and I just saw the food question, that is great

JID would be saltcod

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ooooh

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Or like pickled herring maybe

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Bacalao

Noice

(Bacalao = Puerto Rican salted cod)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

They have it in spain too iirc

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Ashes would be very bitter black coffee someone forgot to drink and it's just been sitting there for two days. Eryl would be well-aged wine spiked with tabasco sauce.

DanitheCarutor

Sorry for derailing. Anyways, I feel like my entire comic is just a ball of niche? The subject matters are uncommon and the main characters are awful and unreliable, but that's my aesthetic so I'm sticking to it. I've never particularly cared about people liking my comic due growing up not being liked myself (you kinda get over it after a while), but I do like finding people like me. @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) No problem! I hoard stuff like that, so I probably have a link for everything.

Urm, I don't mean I like finding unlikable people like me, I mean people who like the same types of stories as me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Honestly, Dani, I connect to your comic quite a lot, for what it's worth!

DanitheCarutor

Thank you! ;v; In a way it's kind of nice having a comic that doesn't fit in. It tends to stand out, especially with my choice of medium. Although at the same times it's really hard to get feedback that applies to what you're doing! Arg!

keii4ii

It is such a Struggle, for sure -- getting relevant feedback

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I feel you! I'm in the same boat with Ashes. It's also incredibly niche and there just aren't that many pencil comics out there- coloured or graphite.

DanitheCarutor

Being a creator who likes feedback, but also likes making niche content, is so hard! Why can't everyone like niche content??

Lmao!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

As niche as the setting and tone of Joe Is Dead are, the main story arc is a very generic hero adventure thing that I hope will appeal to wide audiences

eli [a winged tale]

Niche content

I’d love to know more! What niches are you exploring?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

The nicest thing anyone's said about Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/comics/ is that they really became invested in the characters. Like, that's the kind of story I want to make - the kind where the characters really stick with you.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

As for what food my comic would be... I'd say squid ink pasta. It's the kind of food that makes you go "what the heck is going on here" if you're new to it, but once you actually eat it you'll (hopefully) go "oh, that made way more sense than i expected and was actually pretty tasty"

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I don't know if you're talking to me directly but I'm using a lot of maritime history and literature stuff that I've been obsessed with for a long time as the setting of the story, and then the whole thing has a really morbid and nihilistic tone, while also somehow being funny because I have a background in comedy/satire writing

And then heavy biblical themes

It's essentially a Renaissance period retelling of the Joseph story from the bible

With pirates instead of shepherds

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

For me, I’m not even sure what niche Ashes belongs to. (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/cos/) It’s dark, it’s weird, it has a twisty plot that slowly trickles information, and it’s an odd mash-up of genres. I often try to describe it as Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children meets Farthing Wood. It’s mostly urban fantasy with some horror elements and talking animals. Basically it’s about a bunch of unaging teenagers with supernatural, angel-gifted powers and a bunch of woodland critters fighting (although so far it’s more running from) eldritch monsters. But it’s main focus is on each character battling either mental illness or some other kind of inner demon.

keii4ii

There's also the aspect of: what's niche in one culture may not be niche in another. In Korean media, Fantastical Old Korea is a very common setting for all sorts of genres: gag a day, romance, all-ages adventure, gritty crime drama, zombie apocalypse, you name it. If the work spends a lot of visuals showing mundane everyday moments, often that's a shorthand for "sit down and stay a while; this is a heartfelt tale that takes its time." My comic uses such a setting. When I began to publish it in English, I was surprised that people were expecting it to be one of these AND NOTHING ELSE: a) exciting magical action adventure b) mythology-driven, all about gods and spirits My comic is neither of those. It definitely contains elements of adventure, but that's the plate the meat is served on, not the meat itself. So I guess the usage of the setting is niche.

Like, imagine a civilian life drama set in WWII time. The civilian MC may have a family member or a close friend in the military, but the story focuses on the MC's experience. Imagine presenting that story and people expect it to be... military action? Not a perfect analogy, but hopefully a good enough one.

Kelsey (Kurio)

To be fair, Korea would find fantastical old Korea less exotic than those outside of Korea heh

keii4ii

That is definitely a factor. Even today, you can find semi-Old Days-like places IRL within like... 3 hours of drive.

I'm weirded out that my culture is considered exotic, but it is what it is

(To clarify, weirded out =/= offended.)

Kelsey (Kurio)

Well any culture can be exotic to people outside of that culture

As an outsider looking in, it can be fascinating to learn about a culture I don't know much about

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Anything unfamiliar is usually considered exotic. I know in both England and America, I never really learned anything about any Asian country growing up. I had to seek out the info myself, and as it was very unfamiliar to me, it seemed exotic!

Kelsey (Kurio)

Especially their myths and stories

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Oops, exactly what Kelsey said, I typed too slow.

keii4ii

Yeah, the thing is I've been told I should not be using this setting to tell this story because it's a doomed combination. But ehh, I decided not to listen to that. This story with this setting and all of its elements is what I wanted to read.

carcarchu

slice of life set in a historical setting sounds really refreshing actually(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

But I know I’d probably feel strange if someone told me New York was exotic!

carcarchu

sometimes historical settings can get really bogged down by politics and whatever other drama, having a quiet slow paced story set in the same kind of world is something i'd be interested in reading

Kelsey (Kurio)

Nothing wrong with trying the approach you want to

Who knows, you might end up with a unique combo that helps your work stand out

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yup. I’m a firm believer in writing the kind of story you’d want to read. No matter how niche.

Tuyetnhi

Totes agreed on this. For me, when I had to drop my dark drama series for my romance story, folks were like "Dang, I thought you like writing dark things!"

I do, but romance comics.... [clenches chest]. I also want to write a story that I want to read so lmao. Dream lover elements along with some dark horror influences is something I want to try doing lol

carcarchu

this is not a webcomic but try reading coelacanth if you're interested in the combination of horror with romance @Tuyetnhi

Tuyetnhi

ooo I'll keep that in mind

carcarchu

it's really so unique i love coelacanth so much

Tuyetnhi

is it a novel? :0

carcarchu

it's a manga

Tuyetnhi

aaa

Yeah I probably check it out sometime lmao

back on the idea tho, I also wanted to add some Vietnamese influences in the mix since there's not a lot of stories about Vietnamese disapora, so that's included in the cauldron lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@keii4ii what's your comic? I wanna check it out(edited)

keii4ii

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) It's https://heartofkeol.com/

(I get extremely nervous whenever I know someone is checking out my comic for the first time )

DanitheCarutor

To answer @eli [a winged tale] question. I'm delving into stuff like mental illnesses and disorders, medical illnesses, abuse, trauma and later on, self-care. The comic itself is slow and character centric, I guess you can say it's like a character study. The story can be really depressing depending on who is reading, and it has some softcore horror bits sprinkled in. I'm kind of a nerd for mental health, sad stuff and everything medical so I figured I may as well make a story embellishing those interests. In short it's a sad, character driven, psychological drama about two extremely flawed individuals. Not particularly exciting compared to all the other webcomics out there, but somebody has to make that one pretentious, psychological slice of life piece.

keii4ii

What compounds my issues is that my comic does have enough adventure elements for someone to mistake it for an underwhelming adventure story. "This is an adventure story but there's not enough adventure in it?" kinda thing.

@DanitheCarutor Character studies FTW!!! Yours has been on my 'gotta check this out' list for a long time now!

Tuyetnhi

Oooo

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I also am a fan of psychological stories

Especially if they're sad(edited)

Tuyetnhi

Kei idk why but I was reminded of .hack SIGN when u said that

"there's so much talking! where's the action?!?"

keii4ii

@Tuyetnhi That's actually not a terrible comparison -- though .hack//SIGN has other issues that my comic hopefully doesn't have XD

Tuyetnhi

I'm pretty sure it's miles better than that old anime lmao

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii Pff I need to check out your comic too! I remember reading it at one point, but I don't remember what happened to make me lose track. From what little I remember I really liked it.

keii4ii

The thing with .hack//SIGN was it had a lot of promises of mystery that never went anywhere, within SIGN. I've heard those mysteries do go somewhere within the franchise, but you had to watch/read the entire franchise, which I wasn't going to do. I hope my comic will be a good read on its own, when finished.

Tuyetnhi

sadly, I was one of those suckers that went to consume the .hack games and mangas to get some context from SIGN in the late 2000's lmao

I hope the same as mine, despite being mostly saccharine and self-indulgent nature lmao

keii4ii

Self-indulgence is a strength of indie comics.

eli [a winged tale]

I love all the themes y’all explore! They’re so important

Tuyetnhi

I feel like I have a reason for everything when working on that comic but if that's what it boils down to, I'll take it lol

keii4ii

TBH I produce my best writing and art when I focus on pleasing myself.

Because if I'm trying to please others, I don't even know what they want, so I waste my energy panicking.

But when I'm creating for my inner reader, I can be self-critical in a productive manner!

Tuyetnhi

so true ya

RebelVampire

Hey guys. I kind of feel as this has deviated a smidgen too far from the topic, so maybe reel it in just a smidgen. XD(edited)

Desnik

so the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my comic is that they wanna read more :3

I kinda dread reader dropoffs so the will to see the whole story through fills me with joy

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

1 note · View note

surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

Text

Survey #233

lalala song lyrics i’m about to go home so copy/pasting time.

What subject do you seem to struggle with the most? Various forms of mathematics. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Noooo. I don't have that dedication. What’s the worst feeling in the world? Specifically? Giving someone everything you have physically and emotionally with full force and finding out you weren't enough. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Sara, probably. What is your favorite genre of movie? Horror, probably. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? Being told I don't have strep throat. Do you have a favorite metal band or do you not like metal? Metal is my favorite genre. I claim a lot as "favorites," but the reigning king will always be Ozzy Osbourne. What’s your favorite kind of science? Genetics. What’s your homeroom? We don't have those in college. If you had to move, where would you move to? Well, my only choice would be to move in with my dad, his wife, and her son. I'm not financially independent. Who did you last go to the movies with? Dad. I think. Have you ever read anything written by Shakespeare? I'm not going to include things assigned in schools because everyone had to read like, Beowulf or something similar at some point. I once started to read the full Macbeth (we read a condensed version in school) during a hospital stay, but I didn't finish it. Who’s the cutest person you know? Have you fuckin SEEN Sara when she's excited because- How about the funniest? Girt's funny as fuck. What is your current desktop picture? An adorable meerkat pup looking at the camera al;sdjfal;kjwerads If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? I don't know if I'd even want that, but let's just say I was. Maybe... I was gonna say a lioness, because they're high on the food chain, beautiful, and social animals, but yeah I'd prefer to not be poached. Perhaps a house cat. What talent would you like to have? I wish I could draw hyperrealistically. What New Year’s resolutions did you make? I don't make those. What are three songs that mean the most to you? "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, "The Only Exception" by Paramore, and probably "It's Alright" by Mother Mother. What do you think of your parents? I love them. What is one thing you would do to make the world better? I wish with a snap of my fingers I could just make all litter disappear or something like that. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? ... Wow. I actually thought about it, and the first thing my mind drifted to was "go to Jason's just to see he's okay," and I don't like that. We pass his house every day to go to school and come back, and I think it's only natural that I get curious, particularly when his car is there, but I don't want to care. How much cash do you have on you right now? Just a few dollars from Mom to get something from the snack or drink machine from school if I need to. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? Move on. Let go of people. Forgive. How do you measure intelligence? I dunno, how do you? Define the *type* of intelligence. What cartoons do you watch? None actively. Have you ever used drugs? Not illicit ones. Are you into tattoos? *blinks* Do you like photography? I fucking read this as "pornography" first aslkjweoaider. But yeah, I love love love photography. What’s the biggest celebrity you’ve ever seen in real life? The only celebrity I think I've ever seen is Alice Cooper, and it was at a concert. What person in history do you admire most? I don't know enough about any historical figure to really answer this with passion. What is the most daring thing that you have done in public? I don't know considering I'm not that daring. Probably a kiss momentarily going too far or something. Are you afraid of anything that most people are not afraid of? Whale sharks lmao. But pregnancy is the biggie. Well, maybe most are to a mild degree at least, idk. Have you ever watched someone struggle with addiction? Yeah. Who do you look up to for your style? I don't look up to a certain person. If you were to invent something, what would it be? I don't know off the top of my head and I don't feel like sitting here- OH NO WAIT! Remember that one year deviantART's April Fools prank was that it produced some sort of technology where you could visualize a drawing, and by scanning your finger or some weird shit while you envisioned it, it could produce it on the screen? Yeah, something like that. I'd pay big bucks for something that could put my ideas on paper. Who would you like to get to know better? One of my RP partners that I've known since childhood. She's just extremely private online. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? Pork fried rice is my jam. In your opinion, what is the greatest challenge the world faces today? Greed, probably. What have you achieved that you once thought was impossible? Getting over Jason. What have you tried to quit, but weren’t able to? Meat. Not for lack of motivation, but health needs. What was the last rumor that you heard? I don't know. What country star would you most like to meet and why? I'm not interested in meeting any. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yeah. What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done? Overdose. What is the meaning of life? I don't pretend to know anymore. I think everyone gives their life its own meaning based on values, goals, beliefs, etc. Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? That's hard, man. Depends on the kind, I guess. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen in your whole entire lifetime? White Chicks never fails to get me. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had? My dad about to molest me. What’s your favorite amusement park ride? Merry-go-rounds lmao. Who are your musical influences? This seems like a question for an aspiring musician, which I'm not. What’s the best pick-up line that’s ever been tried on you? I don't know if anyone's ever tried one on me. How many drinks can you handle? I wouldn't really know as I've never reached the point of being drunk, but seemingly quite a few. Weak ones, anyway. If it has a high alcohol concentration, I'm not drinking that shit. What was the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had? Idk, most of the afternoon or evening. I think one occasion with an old best friend went past five hours. Do you know where you want to go to college? I'm happy at my current college. They care a lot about their students. Are you satisfied with the picture on your ID card? Permit, fuck no. School ID, it's alright. What fruit did you last eat? An apple. Aside from yourself, who was the last person to see you naked? My mom. How many classes are you taking? Four, currently. Jumping up to six next semester... though not really by choice. My adviser wants me to have like a safety net by having two classes I CAN drop if I need to, but she's realistic in pointing out that the school path I visualize doable for me will be a VERY slow one and ultimately cost so, so much more money, so she wants to nudge me along as best she can while keeping my limitations in mind. I'm definitely going to try the best I can to do this in four years, but yeah... unlikely. But that's okay to me, so long I get there in not TOO long of a time. Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? I don't think so... but I do recall when my older sister was tiny she flushed a little toy truck down the toilet. We had to get a plumber to save it lmao. I think my mom has kept the truck. Are you someone’s best friend? One of hers. Do you have any goldfishes? No. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? I absolutely hate my sister's dog that for whatever fucking reason lives with Mom and me. Why we keep a dog that does nothing but annoy us and piss us off is a subject of more than frequent arguing. When was the last time you saw hail? I don't know, a long time ago. What color eyes do you prefer: Green or Brown? Green. Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Oh yeah. Of my living ones, I call Venus "Miss Venus" and "pretty girl" a whole lot, while Teddy has a whole lot, but mostly "booga," "bub(by)," "boogie," and "Teddy-boo." I just call Roman "butt" a lot, lmao. I don't really have a common one for Mitsu, but I sometimes use "baby girl," I think. Ever been on a boat before? Like, fishing boats. Which is better: Skiing or Snowboarding? I wouldn't know, never tried either. Can you change the oil on a car? I have no clue how. Ever ran out of gas? Not while I myself was driving. I don't even know if I've ever been in the car while that's happened. Favorite kind of sandwich? Most of the time just an 'ole pb&j. Best thing to eat for breakfast? mmmmmmm cinnamon rolls are the GOOD SHIT. Are you horny? Nah. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope. Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Lincoln logs or GET OUT. Are you stubborn? Yeah, most of the time. Are you afraid of heights? YEAH. Ever used a gun? Nooooo and I don't want to. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Idk if the guy who did my school ID card was an actual photographer? I dunno? Ever eat a pierogi? I hate those goddamn pockets of disgust. Favorite type of fruit pie? I dun like pie. I used to be okay with apple, though. Do you believe in ghosts? 110%. Ever have a deja-vu feeling? Yes because our world is just a simulation and it's a glitch- (I'm only semi-kidding btw idk I kinda believe it) Why do you think others get deja-vu? Because our world is just a simulation and it's a glitch- Take a vitamin daily? No. I need to, though. Wear a bath robe? No, I get dressed right after the shower. What do you wear to bed? Pajama pants and a tank top. First concert? Alice Cooper. Outside. During a thunderstorm. Shit was badass. Peanuts or sunflower seeds? Both are ew. I can handle a little bit of peanut better, though. Ever take dance lessons? I grew up taking a lot through middle school and some of high school. I tooook... clogging (I was embarrassingly good at that omg), jazz, modern (my fave), lyrical very briefly 'cuz I am NOT graceful, and hip hop. I always hated the music, but the dancing itself is fun. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? No. They can do whatever they aspire to. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah. Own any record albums? Not anymore, Mom sold them. I wish I had them now, ahhhh. I love 'em. Own a record player? No. Who would you like to see in concert? I am seeing Ozzy next year or I will fucking riot, Metallica, and Rammstein. Many others would be cool, but those are the biggies. I'd love to see Manson and Otep, but their shows are... yeah. They do gross and/or really disrespectful shit. Hot tea or cold tea? THERE ARE SO MANY TEA OR COFFEE QUESTIONS IN SURVEYS but they tend to be different so I just keep them in alsdjf;awe. The usual: I hate tea. Can you swim well? I guess I swim fine? DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ. I want a variety of music. Ever won a contest? A few, don't feel like trying to remember 'em. Ever have plastic surgery? No. Which are better black or green olives? Olives are fucking gross. Best room for a fireplace? Living room. Who was your high school crush? My first was either Sebastian or Kyle. Or Girt. Then Juan, though that crush was questionable if it was serious or not. He really flattered me a lot, but I've told the story before plenty. Idk if the emotion was romantically reciprocated, though honestly I think it was mostly because of his reputation? I only knew him as extremely sweet. BUT ANYWAY, after that, do I even need to say "Jason?" When he came along, whether or not I really liked Juan was totally forgotten. What do you believe happens to us after death? Hell if I know. Have you ever cheated on someone? No. Does the thought of growing old frighten you? More like the thought of my body deteriorating does. Have you ever hurt someone for your own entertainment? um the fuck. I've done it out of heartbreak and pain, but never for my entertainment. What is your favorite song of all time? Of all time, probably "False Flags" by Massive Attack. Has anyone you’ve known died on a holiday? Possibly, idk. If you could write a book, what would it be about? Sometimes I wish I could make a series out of the meerkat RP I engage in, but I don't have the motivation or dedication for that. And I wouldn't be comfortable revising our "tribute" characters for the sake of legality and just respect in general. What are some lyrics that speak to your soul? "For such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from a Mother Mother song. I'm not exactly small for a human ha ha, but in the scope of the universe perspective, we're all less than microscopic. Have you ever been in love with more than one person at the same time? Not in love, not. Attracted to, yeah. What is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to you? I remember, though it's a tad blurry, the occasion I was having a serious "grieving session" for Jason at Colleen's house, and her sister was there alone with me. She was talking me through it and grabbed my shoulders at one point, looked me dead in the eye, and told me so firmly yet gently how beautiful a person I was and that I deserved the world and more. I won't forget that, like ever. Do you have any taboo fetishes or preferences? No. What is the thing you are most ashamed of? I've talked about this enough. Well, that or just being a general "this is all your goddamn fault and I am the only victim here" cunt to Jason following the breakup. Actually, yeah, I'm probably more ashamed of that. What is the emotion you seem to feel most strongly? Hm. Embarrassment? Heartbreak? Love? Idk. Do you think of yourself as a unique person? Yeah, honestly. I mean not incredibly, but unique, yeah. What is a movie from childhood that you loved? I've talked about TLK and Finding Nemo and that kinda stuff a lot, so here's a STUPIDLY underrated one: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron. That movie is fuckin beautiful wtf. Are you afraid of death? Aren't we all at least to a small degree? What are your top three biggest fears, actually? Losing my mom, being raped, and all those I love just abandoning me. Do you have an accent of any kind? You can detect a Southern one sometimes. What do you want to be remembered for? Sending a message of love, especially to animals. Are you currently sad about anything? I am literally permanently sad about my weight, though it's not like, an *active* sadness at this very moment? Have you ever changed your spiritual beliefs? Three times now. Catholic to Christian to theist. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? MARGARITAS gotDAMN Do you ever talk to yourself? Sure. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep in your adult life? Oh yeah. What do you think is the meanest thing you’ve ever said to someone? "Thanks for sending me to the ER again." Fucking bitch. Do you have a favorite book? If so, how many times have you read it? Johnny Got His Gun and The Outsiders. Only read both once. I almost never read a book more than that. Have you ever wished you were from another country? Half the time, especially as an adult, I wish I lived in Canada. What are you thinking about currently? My throat is absolutely killing me and I'm ready to leave school. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable to speak about? I'm more uncomfortable talking about sex than I used to think. Do you have anything you are extremely particular about? When I'm in the passenger seat controlling the music? Oh my god, Mom, DON'T turn the volume down manually. I can do that on my iPod myself, but can only turn it back UP but so loud as it gets lower by the car itself. She knows I turn it down when we're talking, she is, or we slow down, but she does it anyway sometimes and I get unreasonably annoyed by it. Have you ever seen the ocean? Only the Atlantic. What is your most fond memory of your current S.O, if applicable? THE FIRST KISS Y'ALL it was fuckin CHEESY but I LOVE IT Do you find yourself confused often? Oh hell yeah. What was the best time of your life? It's so funny to me how I can answer "2017," the very same year I OD'd. That's rapid growth, my friend. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Do you miss any of your exes? I only miss the memories of him. Are you religious? I mean I believe in some ultimate creator, but I don't really like calling myself "religious" anymore. I don't worship it, I don't pray to it. I'm thankful to exist, but that's. It, I guess. ANY entity I would respect wouldn't demand me to kiss its feet. Do you think you are attractive? HELL NO. How many people have you slept with? Do you mean like, as in having sex? One. Slightly fooled around with, two, including the previously-mentioned guy. Do you consider yourself a catch? Besides my looks, I do think I'm a good girlfriend. What kind of sauce do you eat your chicken nuggets with? Honey mustard, actual mustard... that kinda stuff. What do you think you could do to improve your life? Get a goddamn job, I'm just really not capable right now. What song is playing right now? "Hag" by Otep. What is your LJ name? I don't have a LiveJournal. I don't even want to EXIST on the same site with a particular fat-headed, bigoted fuck of a bitch. Holy shit I've nearly made an account multiple times JUST to talk that cunt back to Earth. What was the most recent movie you watched? UHHHHHHHH I don't remember actually. How many times have you got stitches? UHHHH twice or thrice? What are your pets’ species and names? I'm excluding the dog I hate because he's not even "mine." Teddy is a beagle/cocker spaniel/probably something else mix. Roman is a cat mix; he seems to have Siamese or something similar in 'im. Mitsu is a fancy rat. Venus is a champagne ball python. What is your most recent musical crush? Mark is a fucking singer, DON'T EVEN @ ME ABOUT IT. Which is better; immense heat or extreme coldness? God, the latter. I literally can't handle like anything above 70 for even like 10 minutes. It's not just that I find heat uncomfortable, but I sweat to a disgusting degree and get extremely weak, dizzy, and sometimes nauseous. Do you have a disease? Just mental ones. I have at least one physical disorder, but not a disease. Do you like gore? BITCH yes. Especially in art. It's the smell irl I can't really handle, as well as seeing like, human gore, but also exclusively in the real world. It feels too personal and close to home, y'know? Do you stutter? YEP. Name a cool person you have lost touch with? Megan, particularly. Who was the friendliest person you have met on the internet? MAN, I don't know if I could pick!! Maybe uhhhh... Megan again? She was nice to like... everyone. Or Connie for the same reason, and she's also chill as hell. I really don't know, I've met a load of great people. Name a song that is overplayed. I don't listen to the radio, so. What websites do you visit frequently? Kalahari Manor, deviantART, YouTube, Facebook, the Silent Hill wiki to make sure it's not exploding from mental cases again to not make it to fucking video game and horror sites/blogs again, and especially lately, Tumblr. There's more, but those are the regularly frequent ones. Does counting sheep help you fall asleep? Never tried. What is the biggest mystery? Where the universe came from and why.

#survey #questions #quiz #random #bored

4 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 5 years

Text

473

You have $5 and need to buy snacks at a petrol station. What do you buy? That’s around P250. I’ll most probably buy local potato chips, Pringles, and Pocky. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be? One of those species that live at the bottom of the ocean so that I get to see what that part of the planet is like.

Who's your favorite redhead? Becky Lynch. What do you order most off the internet? Pizza. Last book you read? A book on Chinese business markets that my supervisor gave me. Internship ended yesterday but I wasn’t able to give it back to her, whoops. I was never actually sure if she gave it to me or just lent it lmao.

Describe the last time you were injured? Sprained ankle from a bad fall in school. It was especially embarrassing because there was a rally happening RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME when I took that bad step. They stopped with their chants when they saw me and we just stared blankly at one another until someone helped me out. I didn’t think it was gonna be a sprain, but it swelled later that day. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with? Gabie, because she always knows what to do. Rock concert or symphony? Right now, I’m in the mood for a symphony. What is the wallpaper of your mobile phone? Hayley Williams mid-concert. Fizzy drink? Nope. What type of top/teeshirt are you wearing? It’s a real loose tank top from Mango. It may be a size bigger since it hangs very loosely on my chest. licking or sucking? Depends where we’re talking about lmao Most recent movie you've watched at the cinema? Rainbow’s Sunset. This question is in almost every survey... Name an actor/actress you've had the hots for? SO IS THIS. Kristen Stewart. Y’all know the drill. What's your favorite kind of cake? Cheesecake is first. Flourless comes second. What did you have for dinner last night? I had a BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger from Burger King. It was my last night at internship and my boss kinda wanted to give me a treat. Look to your left, what do you see? The wall, a couple of pillows, and windows. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. I just slip my feet back in.

Favorite toy as a child? Cash registers. Do you buy your own food? Sometimes, if my budget allows it. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Everyone talks about everybody behind their back. When's the last time you had a sour gummy worm? It’s been months. I did have sour tapes a couple of months ago. What's your favourite fruit? Hate fruits. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel? I don’t, because I can’t do one. Have you ever eaten snow? I haven’t. What colour are your bedsheets? It’s white but it has colorful floral prints as design. What's your favorite flower? I don’t have a favorite; I appreciate all flowers save for one kind. Have you ever done ballet? I did do ballet for one year. I was 5. Parents and teacher quickly realized I just didn’t have the body and the build for it. Do you listen to classical music? Sometimes. I tune into it most often when I study. Do you watch Spongebob? I used to. I’ll watch it from time to time on Netflix, and I actually just watched two episodes this morning haha. Last food you ate? Instant noodles. Do people consider you intelligent? You’ll have to ask people. What time is it? 12:39 PM. Is your messenger on? Always is. That’s where work happens. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together? Nah. I’ve put glue on my whole palm though, but I’ve only done it one hand at a time. What curse word do you use the most? Fuck/fucking. Do you own an iPod? Used to. Pretty sure it’s still here in the house, but it’s so thin that it can very much be wedged in some corner. What time is your alarm clock set for? I had several alarms during my time at internship – 5 AM, 5:30, 6, and 6:30. Now that it’s done I get to turn off my alarm for a while ahhhhhhh. What CD is currently in your CD player? The CD player in my car is currently empty as far as I know. What movie do you know every line to? White Chicks. Are you in love right now? Sure. Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos? If I really loved them, I would. I wouldn’t mind if Gabie decided she wanted to get covered up. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 22. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Meh. To select people. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Tuesday morning. What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? My names are all easy to pronounce cos they’re either common names/are spelled out easily. It’s in the specific spellings where people would usually mess up.

#survey #surveys

5 notes · View notes

caffeineivore · 5 years

Text

Moar Spirits for Spirit

Prompt: M/N, Neck

At this hour of night, this section of Central Park is all but deserted, which serves the purposes of the two young men meeting there just fine. The older of the two unties the red bandanna around his head and stuffs it into a pocket before stepping out into the light-- the colour is too eye-catching, even at this hour of night, and likely to draw the attention of passersby or the odd passing cop. The star-shaped tattoo on his wrist is a little less noticeable.

He doesn’t give the other boy much of a greeting beyond a fairly elaborate handshake-fist-bump combination, during which money changes hands, but sits down at the base of the a statue-- fairly new, some dude in a cape holding a sword atop a horse, lights up a cigarette as he counts the wadded-up cash. “That’s a little bit more than what I asked, Trey. Wanna tell me what’s up?”

Trey is perhaps all of fifteen, gangly but baby-faced, shuffling his feet in his battered red high-tops. “Well, I got together some extra. You know. Isn’t that good, Switch?”

The evasiveness of Trey’s body language and his non-answer to Switch’s question makes the older boy lean forward, all but trapping him against the statue’s concrete base. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to get up to some shit, now. I don’t think that’d be a smart idea.”

“I just-- I got a new caseworker. She actually cares. I’ve been going to school and I think I might be able to graduate. She’s even helping me get a part-time job.” Trey’s still too young to know not to babble out sensitive information when he’s nervous, and so he rambles, shrinking away from Switch’s thunderous expression. “I won’t snitch or nothing, I promise. She doesn’t know anything about any of that, and I’m not gonna tell her. I just think I should get out of this so that it won’t fuck up my chances.”

“And you think it’s that easy, huh?”

The snick of a knife being drawn is all but silent, and yet to Trey, in this still and deadly-silent park, it’s loud as a gunshot, almost as loud as the pulse pounding in his throat. Switch-- short for Switchblade, his weapon of choice, so easily hidden, and yet, flicked open close enough to his face to nick the tip of his nose, so lethal, all the same. “We took care of you when your trickin’ mama couldn’t. And now you think an extra hundred dollars gets you a free pass? An out?” Switch’s face is close enough to Trey’s that flecks of saliva impact against Trey’s cheek with his words, but the boy is too terrified to be grossed out. “You seen what happens to snitches. I guess you about to see what happens to rats going green, too.”

Trey is too scared to do more than yelp and squeeze his eyes shut, but the slash of the knife never comes. He hears a rumble, feels the earth shake in its very foundations at his feet. Maybe this is what an earthquake feels like, or the Apocalypse. Suddenly he doesn’t feel the pressure of a body up in his face any more, and hears Switch screaming.

He opens his eyes, and sees his former fellow gang member airborne, hoisted up by the scruff of his neck like a kitten, arms and legs dangling helplessly. The man holding him immobile is tall and muscular, looking like something out of King Arthur or maybe the Vikings, and has the tip of a wicked-looking sword that makes Switch’s knife look like a toothpick in comparison held to Switch’s throat. Trey has no idea where his mysterious saviour had come from; certainly, he’d not heard anyone or anything approaching just a moment ago. The man turns his face towards Trey, eyes dark and flashing.

“Run, you dithering knave! What are you waiting for?”

Trey jerks into action and jumps to his feet, dashing for the nearest exit. He almost crashes into a woman walking into the park, but manages to avoid her at the last second with a hasty “’Scuse me, ma’am!”. Maybe his new caseworker would help him evade Switch and any of the others who would likely now try to beat his ass. Angela. He’d never met anyone like her before, capable of giving him reason to hope for the better.

“You’re excused.” Linden knows terror when she sees it, and it’s all but radiating off the boy in waves. It doesn’t take much to ascertain, based on his speed and direction, that he must have come from that particular section of the park, and she quickens her footsteps. She’s not quite prepared, however, to see her noble, impetuous, good-hearted idiot of a knight holding a flailing young man aloft twenty feet in the air.

“Drop him. Hard enough to immobilize him. Not hard enough to kill him.”

Nathalán follows her directive, but at that distance, Switch is still immediately rendered unconscious by the drop. Linden kicks away the knife that falls from his hand hard enough that it splashes into the pond, then bends over him, critically.

“He’ll live. Probably a bit of a concussion and definitely will be favouring his left leg, but he may make it another year. Unless his lifestyle gets the best of him.” She is no fool, and certainly the tattoos and colours are a dead giveaway of his affiliation and probable livelihood. “I suppose he was shaking down the other one who ran out like the hounds of hell were pursuing him?”

“The other one was trying to bow out. Abjure the group which he’d been part of. They’ve been gathering more often, of late, in the park late at night. Selling their bags of powder or pastiles.”

“Kid’s trying to jump out of a street gang,” Linden shakes her splendid, curly head. “He’s lucky to have escaped with his life.”

“Will they seek retribution, then?” Nathalán asks in his blunt, direct way. “He is but a child. Foolish, undoubtedly, but not worthy of the ills they would visit upon him.”

“He shouldn’t have gotten tangled up with the street life,” Linden murmurs. “But I suppose I can’t fault you for having sympathy for foolhardy lads with more bravado than sense.” Nimbly, she clambers up onto the statuary’s base, so that she can look him in the eye. “I daresay you saved his life just now.”

His hand, so rough and inexorable around Switch’s neck, is gentle as it traces her back, pausing over her shoulder-blades where her wings would be when she’s in her most primordial and deadly of forms. “Maybe I see something of myself in him-- a yearning to regain honour that’s been lost. A desire to be worthy, someday, of love and forgiveness.” He dips his head, and the lips that touch her temple are soft and not at all cold, for the moment. “I just thought-- he should get that chance. As I did.”

“You are shameless and incorrigible,” Linden tells him, unable to stop a wry laugh from bubbling up. “I’ll see what I can do, I suppose.”

“I shall keep watch from here, as usual. And let you know if there is news.”

Though he was certainly not opposed to being inundated by some very nice drugs, courtesy of the emergency room staff at the hospital, Switch didn’t enjoy being laid up, not one bit. No one believed him, of course, and part of him was afraid that maybe he really was losing it. Certainly there was no freaking way that he’d been plucked off the ground by some statue come to life like something out of a Harry Potter movie, then unceremoniously dropped like a used Kleenex. He’d been found the next morning by park maintenance and by all accounts was lucky to be alive-- between the concussion and the broken leg and the freezing temperatures. Of course the po-po’s had not bought the story of why he’d been there so late, and they’d busted him cold with Oxy’s and two dime-bags of blow. One of the narcos actually had the nerve to laugh at him. “Well, Switch, maybe you wouldn’t be imagining such things if you weren’t high all the time. Funny how these things happen only to people like you.”

He hated the fucking cops.

Of course, there’d be the whole parade of possession charges and court and probie. And then he’d get down to business. Trey, specifically, was at fault for the predicament that he’d found himself in at present, and therefore needed to face the consequences of his actions. He still had homeboys on the street who could take care of a miserable little prick as easy as one-two-three. Just as soon as he managed to get out of this godforsaken hospital, of course. When he was somewhere not handcuffed to a bed.

The TV is set to one of the cooking shows, probably the food network or something, and the hostess is a super hot lady with curly reddish-brown hair and fantastic boobs behind her cute little apron get-up, showing the audience how to make some type of fancy holiday roast thing.

“The most important part of this is letting it rest. You don’t want to carve it right away, not while it’s still tense from the heat and stress of the cooking process.” The perky hostess explains as she pulls the steaming roast out of the oven with bright-green mitts. Switch barely pays attention to her long-winded explanation, but out of nowhere, the TV starts to flicker, then go to static. Yet, eerily, though the entire pretty suburban-kitchen background of the cooking show disappears into that black-and-white-snowfall-effect, the cooking lady remains, facing him head-on, brandishing a carving knife with casual, deadly expertise in one hand and a knife-honer in the other. She’s got great boobs and is all smiles, but Switch knows, just from the way she’s holding it, that she’s as deadly with a bladed weapon as he is.

“Rest, now.” The lady’s voice is still sweet, terrifyingly so. “I’ll carve it when it’s ready. There will be enough for everyone, even those who want seconds.” Switch clutches at the sheets and attempts to scoot back, but his bum leg keeps him immobile, as do the handcuffs. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do now. You wouldn’t want to ruin things, would you?” For one electrifying, nightmarish moment, he could swear that the cooking lady’s eyes go red as blood on that television screen even as the ring of carbon steel echoes eerily in the room. Switch feels cold sweat beading on the back of his neck, and on his upper lip, goose-flesh breaking out over his arms.

“Fuck all this.” Shakily, he hits the button to summon a nurse. “Get that asshole pig in here. I need to talk to him.”

#m/n #senshi/shitennou #sailor moon #fanfiction #fanfic

6 notes · View notes

defenderadora · 6 years

Text

°✧｡ [ELIZA TAYLOR, CIS-FEMALE, SHE/HER] IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS SINCE ADORA JOINED VELIA FROM SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA. APPARENTLY, THEIR NAME IS HARLOW WOLFE AND THEY’RE A WARRIOR. THEY HAVE BEEN FIGHTING AS A CATALYST MEMBER FOR A WHILE NOW. DIDN’T PEOPLE SAY THEY WERE NOT A BETA TESTER? I HEARD THEY TURNED TWENTY-EIGHT THIS YEAR. LET’S HOPE THEY MAKE IT OUT ALIVE.

hi sweeties! i’m ray and i’m exceptionally excited to be apart of this gorgeous rp. below the cut is some info about my lil babe harlow adora. if you’d like to plot hit me up or i’ll come to you.

CHARACTERISTICS

full name : harlow amelia wolfe

username : adora

velia level : seventy-one

birthplace : sydney, australia

age : twenty-eight

zodiac sign : cancer

sexuality : bisexual

height : 5′4′

build : petite and curvy

piercings : standard lobe || upper lobe || tragus || helix

tattoos : x | x | x | x

scars : one along her ankle from a childhood injury

song : please don’t go by joel adams

PERSONALITY

positive : determined || focused || survivor || resourceful || protective || brave

negative : blunt || cunning || restless || callous || resentful || grief-stricken || ruthless

BEFORE VELIA

harlow wolfe was born in the suburb of birchgrove to a middle-class family. her father worked in the tech industry and her mother a pediatrician. harlow is the middle child of two other siblings. an older brother (by three years) who has always been a protector (also being someone harlow idolized) and a younger sister (by seven years) who some would say was spoiled growing up. since harlow only had her brother as a playmate at home for seven years of her life, she steered away from the more feminine things in life and gravitated more towards the rougher things. instead of baby dolls or stuffed animals, harlow carried around toy swords and nerf guns, always itching to have a battle with her elder brother. despite her upbringing into more tough activities, she still had a big heart. too many times her parents would catch her nursing an injured animal back to health hidden away in her bedroom closet. for a while, she dreamed of becoming a veterinarian.

at the age of five, her brother, who was eight at the time, got into gaming and she soon followed. surprisingly, her favorite games were those with little violence. anywhere from life-simulation rpg (akin to the sims) to racing games. she also found herself fond of old-timey adventure games where the characters wouldn’t die. instead, they would respawn from the lasted saved spot (think legend of zelda (specifically wind waker), sonic, mario, etc). the next year, at the age of six, is when she met her best friend, darius. while searching for a new game to try out at the towns game store, she bumped hands with a little boy while they were reaching for the same game. almost immediately they became the best of friends, begging their mothers to exchange information so they could see one another again. darius was the one who introduced her to the more violent battle games in their early tweens.

the two stayed close (they tried dating but found it too odd so they decided just to stay friends) up until the age of twenty-five. harlow had met someone the year before who she thought was going to be her forever but darius didn’t trust this individual. turns out, darius’ intuition was correct. the person she met was a criminal who had been to jail numerous times for petty theft. harlow was unaware of this though. one day her prized class ring, as well as her grandfather's watch, her mothers pearls, and her brother's sports cards, went missing then somehow turned up in darius’ possession, causing her to believe that he had been the one to steal the items. turns out, it had been her partner who wanted to sell them off for some cash for drugs, and when they were almost caught, they dumped the items into darius’ bag.

harlow (stupidly) blamed it all on darius and never gave him a chance to explain his side of the situation. he had dabbled with drugs in the past and had quit, but she assumed he got back into them, something he had promised he’d never do again. once she found out that it had been her partner who stole the items, she assumed that darius had been the one who gave them the location of her families most valuable items and continued to resent him for betraying not only her but her family as well. she blocked his number and banned him from stepping foot on her families property.

VELIA

adora, harlow’s chosen username, was always a nickname she used in any of her game servers. she may or may not have binged ‘she-ra’ when she was younger and become absolutely obsessed with the warrior princess character. she had always been attached to powerful female characters who weren’t afraid to be themselves. the old harlow would have joined velia as a knight of the blood oath or a unity member. however, since she was joining a few months after the betrayal from the two people she loved most in life, she decided to join under catalyst. she had intended to use the simulation to get out her anger from real life drama, that is until she realized she couldn’t leave.

little did she know, darius had also joined the game (under achilleus) since the two had talked about it while promotions were happening. he joined under unity. since he was familiar with her usernames for past servers, achilleus ended up finding her and once he said her real name, she knew it was him. he had been surprised to see that she joined under catalyst but didn’t question her on the matter. this was the time for him to finally force her to listen to him. it took a few months but she finally found her sanity and forgave him for what she thought he had done. she actually found herself begging him for forgiveness for her stupidity. things were going well for a while, she was still angry at her ex so she still found herself not minding being apart of catalyst.

about the six month mark is when tragedy struck. adora found herself unable to hold off a pack of monsters, her life source depleting rapidly until achilleus came to her rescue. while he was able to assist her in their defeat, his life energy shrank to life-threatening levels. he had given adora his only healing potion from his own guilds mystical, which she had used on herself. achilleus died in adora’s arms that day, ending darius’ life in the real world as well. her best friend from childhood that she had just gotten back was gone.

after that day, her heart turned dark. while she had managed to keep her curser on green for her whole experience, she now didn’t care if it turned orange, or even worse, red. life was becoming meaningless without her best friend in it. without him, she trained harder than she ever had before, her player level rapidly rising. she finally found herself thriving within catalyst, becoming one of their best warriors due to her cunning and callousness.

months past, her curser showing no signs of returning back to green, when suddenly achilleus appeared before her, over the water, while she was fishing. long story short, he expressed his disappointment in who she had become after his demise. which is when she showed the apparition her precious wooden block that she had cut from a tree stump where she carved out each name of the people she has indirectly or directly killed. she remembers all of them. though, she keeps it a secret from her fellow guild members, knowing they wouldn’t approve of her keeping something with sentimental value that weakened her ruthless fighting spirit.

adora continues to see apparitions of achilleus where he is pleading with her to be good, to do better, telling her that he’s afraid she’s losing her humanity. she doesn’t see why it matters since she’s clearly already lost her mind.

she wishes to be her old self again, to make darius proud, but she feels as though she is too far gone. she can no longer be saved from her demons and maybe she doesn’t wish to be saved.

POSSIBLE WC

tbh i haven’t thought too much about this?? so this is to be determined as of right now. i’m very open to plotting though.

#『❤ooc❤』➔ this is super wordy and lameeee. sorry about this mess pls bear with me #veliaplot #veliaintro #death tw

7 notes · View notes

idealisticrealism · 7 years

Text

Blindspot 3x02 recap

Aka the one where the team has to get their groove back

Ah, man. I always intend to do these straight after the ep but then damn life always gets in the way and now suddenly somehow it’s about 12 hours until the new episode airs… let’s see how quickly I can smash through this one then, huh? (Answer: not very quickly lol)

As usual, many thoughts to be found beneath the cut.

Look I’m not really a fan of hunters or white men who are overly attached to their weapons, but murdering a couple of dudes just because they stumbled upon your shady militant business seems a lil bit rough tbh

Ugh Weller is cooking for his lady he’s such a cutie pie and ugh Jane slept so deeply, when was the last time she slept well?? But ugh they’re really settling back into being around each other and HE COMPLIMENTS HER HAIR and tbh I like it best when it’s the classic ‘Jane Doe’ short look but this is super cute (and better than the wavy hair from last ep). And wow I feel like we’re burning through a lot of topics in this brief scene bc now they’re talking about how Jane disappearing pretty much bankrupted Weller (man, that’d have to add some guilt to the pile), and then it comes up that Jane is now vegan and tbh I have a slight problem with this new fact. Like okay being vegan is fine, but firstly they already had at least dinner together the night before, so this kinda should have already come up, right? And secondly I kinda feel like her being vegan now is just a somewhat clumsy way of the writers showing how these two have both ‘changed’ and ‘don’t really know each other like they used to’. I honestly expected her to be joking, and for that little joke to actually demonstrate that while they’re not exactly the same as they were, they also haven’t radically changed. But nevermind, I guess. It provided the necessary setup for Weller’s question about any other surprises-- following which Jane says nothing about the passports and cash she’d hidden-- which is what the writers really wanted to get out of this scene anyway.

Poor Stuart, Patterson really does not like sharing her lab. But technically he’s right, it is his lab too. And omg he and Zapata giving Patterson shit about her app is priceless. I think it might have been unintentional on his part but Zapata sure ran with it and I am loving her sly grin rn lol. But aw Patterson why you gotta growl at lil puppy Stuart so much?? He doesn’t have the tattoo solving experience you have, and plus, I seem to remember you obsessing over certain specific tattoos and getting distracted from the rest… though maybe the David experience put a stop to that, I guess, and you subconsciously don’t want Stuart to head down that same path. And then lol Weller strides in and tells Patterson he wants to solve one specific tattoo today and ooooh she is pissed, whereas Zapata’s having more fun rn than she did in her entire year at the CIA. I knew you missed this, girl. And then Weller says he solved part of the tatt and she’s immediately like ‘excuse me? By yourself?’ and looks doubtful (and also possibly concerned? It’s not something dodgy is it??). But omg “I’m not just a handsome face, Tasha” hahahaha. And yeah yeah we know about Roman and Berlin, though it’s news that there’s a specific sequence to these tattoos and that Roman is supposedly trying to help save the world. And now the team is crackin’ and ugh Patterson to Stuart “What a math whiz you are” and on one hand it’s funny but on the other c’mon mate, go easy on him. He’s barely more than a baby. Anyway ten she pulls some wizardy stuff with the tattoo and they figure out that it marks a spot up near the finger lakes. But then Jane realises that it may connect with the pre-existing tattoo in the same spot-- the left breast, apparently, thanks Stuart (next time answer a little slower, buddy) and omg she gives him this tiny, amused (but not mocking) smile as she repeats ‘left chest area’ and ugh I’m so glad to see someone being sweet to Stuart.

So the team updates Reade on the sitch, which feels a lil weird, and he’s hesitant to let them rush out and blindly follow the tattoos like Weller wants to, bc he’s worried about them being manipulated again, and oooh Weller gets all grumpy about it. Boys, boys, play nice. Jane gently convinces Reade into it, while Weller continues to grump. Dude, I don’t particularly think Reade should be in charge, but the fact of the matter is that he IS in charge, so you should be watching your tone. It doesn’t matter that you have inside info that this is a time-sensitive situation, that is still not a respectful way to address a superior officer. And then lol they go out and search for hours until Reade tries to make them go home “I don’t wanna just quit”/“it’s not quitting if it’s an order”. Lol poor guy, it’s like dealing with a bunch of headstrong kids some of the time. And then suddenly a satellite literally crash-lands right near them, and is pretty much immediately descended on by a bunch of military-esque guys. Notice that Weller is calling the shots again? Old habits die hard, I guess. Poor Reade….

Stuart is still obsessed with that same tattoo and PAtterson is still annoyed by it. Reade and Weller walk in with a chorus of ‘so what have you got?’ and again, Weller, time to back down, buddy. This ain’t your team anymore. Lol “we’re not following hunches”/“We just followed Weller’s hunch…” ugh poor beleaguered Stuart. He just can’t catch a break. And sigh, looks like Rich won’t be helping out this ep. Bummer. Ooooohhh but Reade gives the orders and then calls Weller into his office, who definitely has an odd look on his face as he looks at their reversed positions either side of the desk. And omg Reade brings up the tattoo and Weller’s all ‘oh yeah I was right about that’. Uh excuse me??? I’m not even on this team and even I don’t like your tone one bit, you insolent little preteen! Come on, Weller, this level of juvenile pettiness should be below you. After all, Reade is raising a very valid question about how it was that he just happened to solve the tattoo on the very day that the satellite fell-- which means he’s onto you, buddy. I’d be treading with a little more care and a little less jerkishness, if I were you….

Oh hi Sydney! Oh man when was this filmed??? I stg if they were there when I was there in September…. But oooh damn Roman is getting into some deep stuff here at this support group. Oh hey! I know that guy, he was in an ep of Timeless. And I think possibly in some Aussie ad? Idk. And yep, I don’t care if it’s my native accent, hearing it in an American show is always freakin weird. At least he’s a legit Aussie and not putting on a terrible fake accent haha. And ok I know he’s not but it kind of feels like he’s almost hitting on Roman haha? But in actuality I’m pretty sure Roman has orchestrated this whole thing. Also this dude lives in The Rocks??? He must be loaded, wow. And lol, it’s never too early for a beer in Australia, unless of course you’re me, in which case ‘never’ is too early for a beer haha.

Oooh boy, Stuart, it’s probably not a good idea to literally take the words out of Patterson’s mouth. She really does love briefing the team and showing how smart she is, which in this case involves her having figured out who the satellite belonged to. The representatives of ProtechSat arrive, though are greatly confused since they’re not missing a satellite-- at least, until they see the one in the lab. “Oh, this is for sure ours” hahaha. And then they proceed to have very restrained freakouts and make multiple phone calls as they realise exactly which satellite it was and what it did, while the team gets more and more impatient waiting for answers “getting a little suspicious here guys”/”lotta red flags” hahaha I love the sass in this team. And then lolll the whole ‘We’re from the DOD” exchange and the explaining of the acronyms is priceless. Turns out, though, that the US has a missile shield thingy via a network of satellites, and now with the black box from the crashed one, someone could technically turn it off. Lol at Tasha’s “great, now I have to make a phone call” haha. And Stuart suddenly gets the company name and damn I love this show’s subtle humour. Uh oh, apparently North Korea is priming their missiles, which means possible nuclear war. Geez, high stakes or what. Oh hold up, as long as a single satellite in the network stays functional, the shield stays in place. Who wants to bet that they stop the bad guys just as it counts down to one or two satellites left?? And then lol “stuart’s got something” “Really??” damn Patterson, be nice lol

Stuart has discovered the situation with the hunters, which leads them to a trail cam that shows the ringleader’s face-- and Jane knows him. She worked with him doing K&R, and knows several of his aliases. Reade is immediately thinking of the ramifications of her previous work, but Zapata and Patterson both immediately jump to her defense. Aw, my girls! And then Weller’s all grumpy again over this discovery and tbh I don’t understand why?? As far as I recall, he didn’t ever directly ask her what she’d been doing while she was gone, and rescuing kidnapping victims certainly doesn’t seem like a bad thing?? Like, so what if she worked with some questionable people for the greater good? Geez, Weller, you’re more hormonal in a single day than many girls are throughout their entire teenage years. Chill out, son.

Back in the motherland, these rather similar looking dudes are bonding over more beers, and ugh Roman is telling him the truth about Shepherd and Jane. “Half the time I want my sister back, half the time I want to kill her”--- who wants to bet that that’s going to be a running theme of the season lol? And then haha “you’re next beer’s going to be a water” uh mate he’s American, the beer he’s used to practically IS water loll

Jane finds Weller in the locker room to apologise, which imo isn’t warranted, but whatever. And he says that she ‘did what she had to do’ and I LOVE that she corrects him and tells him that she did it bc she WANTED to? That’s right, girl, don’t let him alter your narrative to fit his views. And then he judges her about people she may or may not have killed/let die and dude. Duuuude. You’re being an assssss. Good thing Patterson has found some info on their bad guy. Sidenote, but I think the writers managed to slip in a subtle dig about gun control in there and I’m super impressed? Anyhow Patterson shows them the guy’s safehouses she found, which Jane is immediately able to narrow down to one based on her skills and her personal knowledge of the guy. Nice work, honey! And then they bust in there and oooh “this is for Paris”-- ok I need that backstory right now, please and thank you. We see some Korean guys in a car who have apparently already discovered that their contact is blown, but they apparently have an ace up their sleeve. Uh oh….

Oooh Zapata is ranting to Patterson about ‘Assistant Director Reade’ and man it’s weird hearing her use his title. Patterson tries to highlight things from his perspective (with another lil jab from Tasha about her app making it in there haha) and then tells her she might just need to figure out a new balance, likening it to her own ‘friends who hate each other’ thing with Stuart, and Zapata’s all ‘yeah no he definitely doesn’t know that that’s what you are’ and Patterson suddenly feels all bad. As you should, honey, coz you’ve been kinda mean to him this whole time. But aww she says she’ll be better and fix things and ugh I love seeing my babies listen to each other and work to improve themselves. Of course all her good intentions do kind of go out the window when she discovers that Stuart is back to using their processing power on his pet tattoo, and advances on him so suddenly that he literally knocks stuff off his desk in his haste to back away. Ugh the poor kid is terrified of her, despite being practically twice her height haha. She does make a good point that the nukes are all still live and the threat is far from neutralised, though. And lol she refers to the hacker as a he and the ProtechSat guy pipes up in the background “Or she!” and Patterson is all, “Exactly, women can be hackers too, Stuart!” and omg I shouldn’t laugh but the poor guy is so flustered rn and totally scared of her, and Zapata is in the background with her face in her hand hahahaha.

Oooh Reade comes in and diffuses the situation by being completely oblivious to it haha, just as he misses the sass Tasha directs his way. Then he goes in to interrogate the dude they caught and lol when he suggests he’s the hacker the dude is all “Do I look like a nerd?” Ouch man, didn’t you know anyone can be a hacker? Lol. And then “is that the good Korea, or the bad one?” okay I kinda like this guy haha, can we see more of him? Weller is definitely less impressed, taking the opportunity to shame Jane a little more for her past career choices, and dude you better get down off of that high horse before you FALL off of it. You’re hardly one with any right to be throwing stones here. But at she stands her ground, and he backs off a little. You go, Jane.

Oooh Reade is getting a pep talk from Hirst; she thinks he’s overcompensating now that the team is back. Well, that’s probably true. But on the other hand, certain members of his team (*cough* Weller *cough*) are also being prigs. Speaking of people who are being butts today, the bad dude (who is a butt) gets a visit from Jane (who has a nice butt) and there’s lots of sass being thrown around-- “I liked you better when you were unaffiliated” “Funny, I never liked you at all” hahaha yaaaassss my queeeeennnn. Oooh but hold on, he knew about her bounty? And didn’t act on it, due to a mysterious person called Clem telling him not to touch her. Wow, Clem must be powerful. They’re probably a dude, too, but just saying I have an Aunty Clem and though she’s a 5ft nutritionist with a pixie cut and giant glasses, I could totally see her as a mastermind/commander figure haha. I guess they already did the ‘Surprise! This character you’ve been hearing about is actually a woman!’ reveal with Shepherd tho. But anyhow based on Jane’s chat with her old work buddy, there may be a leak in the team-- and of course the first suspect is the ProtechSat guy who happens to be a POC. Original. It’s only when he has an alibi--- sidenote, why was he at the hospital overnight I really wanna know-- that anyone even remembers that oh yeah, he has a colleague who has also been there the whole time, and who they now know had the means to frame him. But I mean she’s a pretty white lady, so who could blame them for not suspecting her til now? (#me #Icould) Aaand now the innocent lil white lady just killed two poor dudes and is about to give the baddies the means to nuke the whole country. Good work, team.

Back by the bay, the beardy boys are bonding beautifully. Poor Aussie dude just really wants to make sure Roman isn’t a risk to himself-- but he doesn’t realise that he’s the one at risk. Roman deliberately targeted him, drugged him and is about to kill him. And ughhh the poor guy is all ‘I don’t wanna die’ and Roman seems to almost regret that he has to do it bc he seems to genuinely like him and duuuude just don’t do it! Don’t kill him! Be a better person!

The ProtechSat guy helped them figure out where the hacker chick is, which I’m super satisfied by bc the guy that they wrongly accused has now just helped save their asses. And Jeller are racing there, and Jane tells Weller she loves him, but it’s with a look of almost trepidation on her face, like when a dog thinks you’re mad at them so they’ll come up and lick your hand and try to be extra cute and lovable. At least Weller immediately says it back, then reassures her that he’s not mad at her, but at Roman for orchestrating all this, and tells her that they can’t let him drive them apart. Mmmm-hmmmm, this is the time when you mention that you ALSO have something to confess, boy! But nope, looks like we’re not free of the hypocrisy yet. Anyhow the team dashes into the building (awkwardly hiding their guns from all the kiddies), guided by Patterson to the planetarium where they find a dead Marcy. Also the voiceover narrating about asteroids and meteorites sounds very much like it’s an analogy for this show’s characters… meanwhile the team is suddenly being shot at, a (male or female, thanks guys) hacker is shutting down all the satellites, Patterson is yelling… it’s just like old times. And finally the team functions like old times, and Reade and Tasha manage to cover Jeller long enough for them to go and take out the hacker and his guards in a kickass lil showdown-- leaving them with two satellites playing Atlas and holding the whole thing together. Lol at Reade losing his comms and being like ‘So did we win or did we get nuked?’ haha. And then awwww the team’s all gathered back at the lab and Reade is giving a lil speech and I’m so proud of them. Also no drinking in the lab is a new rule-- I feel like this was somehow put in place because of Rich haha.

Aw, damn, Roman really killed him. Well, that sucks. But he needed his identity or whatever, so fine. But omg it’s hilarious watching Luke pretend to ‘learn’ how to speak with his own native accent haha. Also when are they going to explain the absence of the scar???

Oh boy. Weller is cooking tofu sticks, which is not going at all well, but it’s a sweet gesture. And yet again I kind of expect Jane to say she was joking about the whole vegan thing, idk why lol. But ugh he’s all ‘I’m trying so hard’ and I really do feel bad for him rn. He’s scared that bc there’s so much about her now that he wasn’t part of, that it will mean he’ll never really have her back or something. But um dude, literally everyone else in the world is with someone who has years of experiences that don’t include them?? Like with her memory wipe, her entire existence is pretty much only like 4 years long at this point, and she was with you for 2 and a half of those. Most people are with someone who lived twenty or more years before knowing them. So I suggest you reassess a bit here, buddy. But then again I know you’re only scared of losing her again, which is probably a fear you’ll carry forever (which as we know, is a situation I am displeased with the writers about). But ugh Jane basically suggests going out on a date which is cute, and Weller’s all ‘no go we’re broke’, and she’s all ‘well actually’ and shows him her giant stash’o’cash. And it’s one of those bittersweet moments bc yes she kept it from him but she was keeping it for an emergency, and had likely planned to tell him once she had realised how dire things had gotten financially. Thankfully Weller decides to focus on the positive, and well, they don’t make it to that date….

Awww Tasha shows up at Reade’s apartment and there’s sass and it’s cute and he apologises and then she’s all oooohhh you’re on a date?? But NO OMG he has a GIRLFRIEND and she looks VERY FAMILIAR and ooooohhhhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyy this is gonna get awkwardddddddddddd

Meanwhile Patterson is repeatedly calling Stuart to try to apologise and explain her recent behaviour which I really approve of and appreciate, and ugh she tells him he’s good at his job and ugh she’s actually gone to his apartment to see him but oh shit the door is busted in and please tell me he just went back to the lab to work late please please please oh shit oh nooooooooooooooo. Stuarttttttttttttt!! Oh my baby this is so unfair, you deserved so much better…. (Also poor Patterson ugh)

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #Nooooo Stuarttttt #:((((

23 notes · View notes

elstonsblog · 5 years

Text

May – Aug

In my last reflection, I spoke about doing a mix of larger and smaller pieces of work, Childs Alphabet etc. I think those months set me up nicely for what I've created/been part of between May-August. Over these 4 months, there have been dips in creating work due to doing things other than the drawing which has slowed down my progression of skills/experimentation. These dips haven’t impacted my 3x week posting schedule on social media but more the larger personal projects that needed to be chipped away at... haven’t been started. I hope to change this in October, I would say September but we’re already halfway through it so September will be used as a buffer month to get everything back in order before I get going properly again.

My goals in my last reflection were:

Put the work in to ensure a successful exhibition in July

Spend time working on targets set

Find and talk to some local creatives

Put together a PDF Portfolio

Start putting together a self-promo pack

And I've completed the following:

Put the work in to ensure a successful exhibition in July

Find and talk to some local creatives

Put together a PDF Portfolio

The Land + Sea exhibition took a lot of time and preparation, I spent 7 weeks of evenings on just making the artwork. I ended up with 4 a3 giclee prints and 48 a5 hand-drawn pieces to be displayed along with my mum's paintings. The event was short but well-received. The work I created was purposely made to sell so I drew more common seaside themes (beach huts, fishermen, sea creatures, seaside scenes and boats) to suit the space we were exhibiting and the audience of the village.

The making on the a3 scenes was done using my normal process, the pieces had more elements to them than I usually put in and it was interesting to see how that affected the workflow and timescale of making them. I printed them on Giclee so that the colour vibrancy stayed close to what it looked like on the screen. Photo rag paper feels nice too. I’ll print using Giclee again, the downfall is that every print is individual and there isn't a way of doing multiples without spending out a lot of cash in advance.

At the start of preparing for the exhibition, I was conscious that I hadn't drawn anything just by hand for quite a while and I felt that it was something I needed to get my confidence back up with so I decided for the a5 images that they would all be hand-drawn. I used rag paper, ink and gouache paint to keep the colours as bright as they would have been digital. I made 12 pieces in each of the 4 topics (beach huts, fishermen, sea creatures & boats). I gave myself a week to complete 12 drawings and repeated that until all 48 were done. It was a quick turnaround which meant I didn’t overthink it but I also would say that they’re not my best work – having 12 of each gave room for variety within the area and it was interesting to see which ones different people liked the most. It’s funny my favourite ones to do were the sea creatures yet the people that came preferred the beach huts and fishermen. Some feedback during the show was that the set looked most impactful when they were shown together, it could be that I create a print with all individual’s on – this would only really work for the beach huts and fishermen as the size of each person/hut is similar. This is something I'm not in a rush to do during the winter months, but I will return to this for the start of spring.

I think it was a good thing to have done as it helped me to see a physical audience and test what people like and dislike. The process of making for it kept my focus and showed that if I want to, I can chip away at larger pieces/projects rather than always making small fast work.

In August I started putting together a portfolio and website which made me take stock of what I'd created during the year. It was good to do this, but I quickly realised that I'd made a lot of images and not many of them had been shaped into projects/outcomes, so it looked sparse compared to my social media accounts. Also, that pretty much everything I've done has been personal projects and competitions as I haven’t reached out and contacted anyone about doing work for them. This needs to change. I need to start putting myself out there. I’m happy with how my portfolio is currently looking in terms of flow/work - I would like to add some basic animation into the pdf document to make it more engaging, once this is done, I will send be sending it out. I need to put the time into researching who and where I could get work - I know that it’s best to start with editorials so in the coming months I will research into art directors. I’m still under the impression that it is best to send out physical things to spark interest rather than be just another email. This is something that I also want to work on, this will take more time as I would expect that the physical work needs to be more specific and personally addressed to them. I know I'm going around in circles and I need to cut the crap and just email people. If that doesn’t work, then try something new rather than thinking I need to do everything at the same time, and it needs to be perfect. I need to see it as a process as currently, I'm getting nowhere. This 'business’ side doesn’t come naturally to me I'd quite happily be in a cave and draw for the rest of time if I could but that’s just not how it works.

In some parts of May-Aug, my inspiration levels were running dry, so I started looking further afield for inspiration. I realised when drawing an Egyptian god for work that all the documentation of ancient Egypt was people drawn sideways – which is also my favourite angle to draw people. so I took a trip to the British Museum to draw lots of wall carvings. I focussed more on Assyria’s carvings, copying the poses but modernising them with sliders and socks and trying to think about what they’d be saying to each other. I hadn’t mixed in much speech in my drawings for a long while, and.. I think to do it well takes a practice that I haven’t been doing – I don’t make much in terms of comics/narrative pieces. I would like to stretch this muscle a bit more as after going to Hackney Comic and Zine fair I got hyped about comics again so I'm trying not to let the inspiration for it fizzle out before I start doing something. I think the images were successful, but the text/speech was too fragmented for a narrative. This is something I want to work on as zines/comics are great things and I need to start making them so that I can take them to stalls.

During these 4 months, my process has continued to naturally refine for digital work (adding in illustrator as part of making). I have started to realise a reliance on compositing the images digitally. For example, when I draw by hand, I draw separate elements to then digitally fit together. This has both benefits and disadvantages; it makes pieces more editable and saves the time of me trying to draw it perfect all in one. The downside is that I'm over-relying on this and barely ever now drawing something fully for fear of messing up. I’m going to start combatting this again by making sure I add more work into my flash book. (My flash book is a photo album that I use to hold and store fully drawn pieces of work so that someday I can tattoo them on people).

I think since January my work and confidence overall have grown a lot. I’ve found a variety of colours I like using and I'm surer in the work I'm producing. I have seemed to stay very close to my Berol pen, but I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. I have been finding it easier to define my work/ approach:

I’m an Essex based Illustrator raised on a steady diet of cartoons and loud music; both of those things have influenced my approach to illustration. I like to communicate using block colour and bold lines to express what is being said with confidence.

In my practice, I try to articulate the workings of my mind in relation to the ‘real’ world with the hope to examine and display my presence. I’ve always been intrigued with different ways of communicating, stories, morals and ideas. I get a lot of inspiration from songs, books and the mundane around me and use this information to help formulate an idea for a piece of work.

I’ve grown to realise that I learn best by doing, so throughout the process of idea to the final piece, it can be revised, shaped and moulded until it looks and feels right. Projects are worked out methodically in terms of the steps that need to be done to create the outcome, what it is I’m trying to achieve and how best to communicate that through the medium used. A lot of the time, projects give me a chance to find new inspirations through researching an area that I’m not familiar with, this along with my existing interests feed into the outcome.

I would say in my most recent work the overarching theme is a positive retaliation to the current socio/political climate that we’re living in. Within that, there are sub-strands of my work focusing on mental health, politics and societal intangible needs; using what’s around me and trying to draw out something hopeful so that the final pieces communicate positive messages.

But I am still struggling to understand where and how I fit into illustration work. I hope this will come with time and perseverance.

Overall, these last few months have been productive. I’ve done work that I wouldn’t usually do and I'm slowly creeping out from under my rock. I think it’s hard to reflect on such a large amount of time properly, so I'll try not to leave so much time between each time, next time. I think a shorter one every month will be more beneficial for me going forward to recap and set my focus for the coming month.

Going forward my plans for October are:

To complete Inktober and make it into a zine

Go to 2 Drink and Draw sessions

Find 10 suitable art directors/contacts

Start working on a comic

Spend time working on targets set

Plan out Christmas merch plan and start making

Apply to guardian competition

0 notes

drewkatchen · 7 years

Photo

Twenty years ago it wasn’t novel to have a really specific opinion about Jawbreaker, the little three-piece punk rock band that everyone personally owned until they no longer did. It was all glowing praise, outrage over their calculations and callous indifference toward your thoughts of their career ambition or anywhere else on the spectrum, and most people fiddled with their bangs or barrettes while telling you this stuff over a bean burrito. 2017 is no different. I’m guessing that anyone from say college age to wizened old forty-something, maybe with a tattoo or several, bike owner and drinks shitty beer through a chipped tooth whether because of financial restraints or for posturing, you have likely given a piece of your mind to someone within earshot about the state of reunions and where you fall on Jawbreaker returning to a stage. Maybe it was to the Internet or to your wife or your husband or your kid, and maybe they know what you’re talking about or maybe they just think you should feed the cat. At forty, it could be gauche or off-putting to have opinions about old bands because maybe it makes you seem out of touch, and rightly maybe you’ve moved on to talk about the evils of gentrification and new construction or neighborhoods with good schools, but Jawbreaker is still something else entirely and you will share what you think.

Maybe you’re really happy because, like me, you spent the better part of the nineties in remote corners of the country, unable to find a ride to the show a hundred miles away on a school night, and you missed the chance to dance up against your buds in your Dickies to ‘Shield Your Eyes.’ And you think about how life conspired against you. Maybe having ample chances to see Jets to Brazil just left you a bit cold, like observing someone in the wrong relationship or what from the outside seemed like the wrong relationship. Or maybe, in the reunion-saturated circus that is now (are we living on a planet with more reunited acts than new acts?) you’d hoped that they would be the one group of individuals who just wouldn’t sully the enduring image you had of them, whatever your enduring image is. The acrimony that seemed present at their dissolution, certainly you could rest assured these were the guys that wouldn’t be tempted. You may also not care, but then again, if you don’t care about the band, then you’re probably not reading this either. But it doesn’t matter because my opinion isn’t as strong as that damn mighty group, still fortified all these years later with the power to beguile, that first popped up again for me last month on Chrissy Piper’s Instagram feed, her announcing to the world again something was happening when singer Blake Schwarzenbach, a totem of some kind of endurance, was leaning against a tree and having a smoke before a secret show, a post that absolutely took my breath away.

And my opinion about them coming back to life may not matter, but I have one and so do some of my friends, and they’ve been through zits and bad bands and lack of sex and then sex and then edge-breaking and then shit jobs and then good jobs and then weddings and kids with this band. We’ve grown, moved laterally, dipped and emerged with Blake, Adam and Chris. They don’t know us and we don’t know them, but we know them and we know ourselves in relation to what they’ve created. And I wanted to hear what my friends had to say because they’re funny and insightful and this stuff got to them all when their cement was still wet and for better or worse is in them for good.

But I’ll go first.

Jawbreaker were a band above most others, as far as I was concerned. From a distinct community of musicians that went on to have a global footprint, but best I could tell they were their own scene. This wasn’t my friend’s band; they weren’t kids from the high school even though they knew the kids from the high school started bands to sound like them. Accessible but also off-kilter, lyrics that used a bunch of common words to tell heartbreaking and affirming stories of love and house parties and untapped potential. They were the band my straight edge friends and emo friends and skater friends and pop punk friends could all agree on. There was a universality to their narratives that could speak to you if you let them. What was their party affiliation anyway? Beer? Books? Trains? Sadness? Effortlessly them and if you wanted to find yourself in their lyrics then you could.

I can see myself, a doughy Catholic high school teen in 1993, in different rooms and in the cars of different friends. My mom couldn’t stand Frankie and his dyed hair, but he opened up my world when he lent me the Chesterfield King record, the cover evocative in what it showed and in what it hid. I gripped it tight before putting it on my crummy turntable, allowing the titular song to really warm my ears. Who was the singer in the cool pants? Why was his face hidden? Why was he playing his guitar that way? Who was on the back cover? Were they in the band?

To me (and as it turned out, thousands of others), the song sounded like love. A love that I had never experienced and love I may never realize. Sweet, wooly, woozy love, and listening to it on my bedroom stereo, I imagined what it would be like to be held. The singer's rasp, appealingly like shredded glass and smoke, somehow sounded like romance or aching. Did I understand the lineage working? Did I know of Westerberg and Mould and Richard Butler? Maybe, but no, not really and it didn’t matter. As a teen, Blake Schwarzenbach was my Westerberg. I’d found succor in the pointed frustrations of Ian MacKaye and Ray Cappo, but what I most wanted was a boyfriend, to have someone there to buffer the family chaos tornadoing around me and to play with my hair. I didn’t have that but I imagined being the love interest in this singer's world. Did I notice then he used a pronoun only once or twice unless he was describing the ‘toothless woman’, a tableau affording me the chance to picture two men together on a couch, tracing lines on palms and clinging together in outerwear. The words in the song painted an image of proximity: of a protagonist close enough to, however odd, smell his love's thoughts. It sounded like heaven; it made me feel warm. This was my introduction to Jawbreaker. ‘Chesterfield King’ was a song I first experienced alone in Goose Creek, South Carolina, and it followed me all the way to this year, where it still sounded like love when it played during my wedding reception in a cozy bar on a winter day in Jersey City, New Jersey.

---

As far as them being a band now, I don’t begrudge anyone trying to make money and keep their lives afloat or even just being together with their friends. These guys were talented enough to write and record winning lottery tickets they could cash in decades down the road and now they are smart enough to take it. Good for them. Maybe I was concerned about my own relationship with the band in the current moment. Did I even have one? Did I need to? Aside from putting on their records at home or on my phone for the morning commute, how much did I really care anymore? How much did I need to care? I no longer sit and worry about things like relationships and affection when my legs are on my husband's lap, the TV or turntable on near us. That they have sounded good at every show they have played this year is great and it's inspiring to see their determination to make it sail. That they are around in 2017, existing in the face of nuclear nonsense and terrifying natural disasters, calms my jitters just that much. So I thank them for that as well. I didn’t travel to Chicago because my husband and I are saving our pennies for a home but just know that Jawbreaker breathed life--real, concrete life--into my half-lived youth and helped me understand my heart a little bit better, and I owe them a real debt of gratitude for it. And if, as Schwarzenbach says, there’s a 95 percent chance of a show in New York City, then consider me camped out for it already.

But I think I speak for everyone when I say this: no new music, guys.

And now my friends:

Tommy, in his early-forties, college professor

“Trying to Take Its Form”

Most of us remember when we heard that Jawbreaker had broken up. It followed soon after the release of Dear You [Jawbreaker’s final album, released in September 1996], or the moment when most of us felt Jawbreaker had broken up with us. In hindsight, the punk underground’s bitter rejection of Jawbreaker and Dear You seems petty and self-righteous at worst, naïve at best. On one hand, we might see the subsequent redemption of Dear You and Jawbreaker’s long afterlife as a confirmation of all of that. On the other hand, we might also recognize the profound, almost inexplicable, attachment people must have had to a band to feel so spurned by their career decisions and to cherish them so many years after they were gone. That kind of attachment is what comes to mind when I think of the many, many hours I spent with Jawbreaker after I discovered them in 1992. My first encounter was through a friend whose older brother had an enviable record collection. He had been in the right places in the late 1980s and early 1990s to acquire some absolute gems. His record crates held first pressings of Jawbreaker, Jawbox, Fugazi, Samiam, and virtually every New York hardcore LP and compilation. From those crates I randomly drew the New Red Archive’s Hardcore Breakout USA Volume 1 double LP. The second song on the first side is Jawbreaker’s “Rich,” which I am guessing by the date and sound was recorded during the same session as Unfun [Jawbreaker’s debut record, released in 1990]. The guitar tone, Blake’s scratchy, but melodic vocals, and the relentless drums made me think the Lookout Records pop punk I had feasted on for a good year was suddenly outdated.

“Rich” slots in neatly with other material from Unfun; it doesn’t aspire to the experimentation or darkness of Bivouac nor does it exhibit the stripped-down pop and lyrical mastery of 24 Hour Revenge Therapy [Jawbreaker’s third album, released in 1994]. It is a minor song, minor enough not to make an LP that few would claim as the band’s masterpiece. But man, did that fucking song cut its way into me; it sunk into the surface of my skin and gave me goosebumps. I never, ever wanted to listen to it in the company of other people. Jawbreaker became that intensely personal band, one you use as a measurement of other people, but don’t want to share with anyone else.

I was a 16-year-old punk kid in small town South Carolina when I found that song. Climbing into manhood was usually signaled by sexual conquests (my score card was comfortably and securely at zero), athletic prowess (flamed out in little league), or outdoor activities that involved shooting animals before arriving at school. Guns seemed weird and I hated the “hunt before homeroom” kids enough that I never wanted to be identified with them. Punk offered some refuge from those models of masculinity and their suite of expectations. I learned pretty swiftly how to say “Fuck you” to most of those people. But crawling out from under those pressures didn’t lead to much else. You could, it turned out, be righteous in your refusal of everything and still alienated. Like other people in my small punk circle, I dreamed of getting out, of fleeing to neighboring Columbia, a town which seemed by comparison metropolitan, diverse, culture rich, and home to a vibrant punk and hardcore scene.

Enter Jawbreaker’s “Rich.” I don’t know the story behind this song or what compelled Blake to write it. I do know that I heard it as a fucking promise:

“A Dream rising. Trying to take its form against the norm. A goal, hard to hold. Sizing up itself against the world. Don’t push, it’ll come. Everything is gonna be alright. Steady now, don’t fall apart. Keep yourself upright.”

No one ever said any of that to me when I was a struggling teenager. They didn’t say it because I never relayed how much I hated going to school or how much I hated everyone there or how hopelessly narrow my future prospects seemed. I wanted something else, somewhere else, but had no reason to think I deserved more. Black Flag and Minor Threat had taught me how to internalize music. I could close the door to my room and make those voices screaming on the other end of my headphones scream for me and scream with me. It was a survival strategy. Jawbreaker’s “Rich” spoke to me immediately and intimately. It was okay to want more, to have outsized dreams, and even to feel crushed by the weight of them. “Everything is gonna be alright.” It is the simplest of lines; it could also be among the most trite and cliché. Those words would have been meaningless if anyone else had ever uttered them to me. But from Jawbreaker, they felt honest and shockingly new. The rising of Blake’s voice at the onset of that line signaled confidence, understanding, and, fuck it, I’ll say it, love. I spent hours alone listening to that song over and over.

Several months later I was punished for standard teenage punk antics: not coming home on time (or not at all in this case), getting blind drunk with friends in the woods, and driving 70 miles to Myrtle Beach at 4 in the morning because it seemed like only thing left to do. Housebound and on restriction for weeks, I took those Hardcore Breakout and Unfun records into my room and lived with them for days on end. At some point, I was allowed a trip to Manifest Records (southeastern record store chain) and the cashier handed me an advanced copy of Jawbreaker’s Bivouac on cassette. I was obsessed. That month’s issue of Maximum Rocknroll contained an ad announcing Jawbreaker’s summer tour and Columbia, SC was on the itinerary. I was granted early release due to good behavior just in time for that show and it was everything I needed it to be.

If you were a teenager when Jawbreaker started releasing records, there is a very good chance that you grew up with the band. Blake’s lyrics and storytelling became increasingly complex and mature; the direct appeal of “everything’s gonna be alright” blossomed into narratives of entangled love, unshakeable regret, and the pull of places near and far. In other words, teenage angst evolved into the intense emotional swings of early adulthood. And somehow, for me anyway, those first three albums never lost their power to give form to experience. They still haven’t lost that power.

If so many of us were furious when Jawbreaker “sold out,” it was because they taught us how to feel our way through worlds that didn’t want us to feel; they told us we could leave places that didn’t want us to escape. We could hold out for a little longer because it would be worth it.

Todd, late thirties, works with computers, lives in Washington, my former roommate

I came across Jawbreaker in the spring of 1995 while doing a radio show at WRUV in Burlington, VT my junior year of high school. My friend Mike called in and wanted me to play “Ashtray Monument,” [a song from he 1994 album 24 Hour Revenge Therapy] so I played it and fell in love with the song, so I "borrowed" the CD from the radio station for the next week and listened to it pretty much non-stop. The latter-half of that album in particular became the soundtrack to the end of my high school life; I would listen to Do You Still Hate Me? and West Bay Invitational over and over again obsessing over the heartbreak and joy found within each song, but it wasn't until 1996 when I bought a copy of Bivouac that I really got into them. Bivouac always felt like a very odd album to me. There's still such a contrast between the first three songs on that record (”Shield Your Eyes”, “Big” and “Chesterfield King”) compared to the rest of the album -- those songs are light and poppy compared to the density of most of the later tracks (although "You Don't Know What You've Got" and "Pack it Up" break that mold.) I was super into Orange Rhyming Dictionary [an abum by Jets to Brazil, a band that formed after Jawbreaker with Blake Schwarzenbach as singer], but quickly was disappointed by Jets to Brazil. Four Cornered Night killed me with that "I love my piano" song, and while Perfecting Loneliness was much more decent, it never could capture that frenzied energy that Jawbreaker managed to contain. I remember getting a copy of a live show of their's at Mad Hatters on VHS from Rick Ta Life [singer of New York Hardcore band 25 ta Life] off eBay when I lived with you in Boston, and the camera operator is standing on Chris' [Bauermeister, Jawbreaker bassist] side of the stage so the recording is insanely bass-heavy. They rip into “P.S. New York is Burning” and for the first time I really heard what was going on in with the bass line in that song. This was right after 9/11, so there was some poignancy to the song title at the time as well, but it just felt heavy and cathartic at the same time. “Parabola” and the eponymous Bivouac follow that line as well; they're songs of release.

This was also the time when I realized that what made Jawbreaker so amazing wasn't just Blake's lyrics or guitar or Adam's drumming or Chris' bass, but rather the interplay of all of them together and how they worked off each other to create something new. I never got the chance to see them -- they broke up way too quickly after I discovered them and never played anywhere close enough to Burlington to be able to catch them live.

Vincent, Has a really adorable daughter, lives in North Carolina with his awesome wife, wrote for HeartattaCk, has a nice voice

How did I find Jawbreaker? Memories attached to them? Did I see them? What do I really think about JTB? What song of theirs really meant something to me? What do I think of the reunion?

"The Boat Dreams from the Hill" reminds me of a late-80s maroon Volvo. I was in a classmate's car when I heard it, and the rest of 24 Hour Revenge Therapy for the first time. Most memorably, I remember every passenger in that tank belting the chorus to "Boxcar," ("1-2-3-4 / Who's punk / What's the score?") while trucking around Hillsborough Street.

That weekend, I went down to Schoolkid's Records and picked out 24-Hour Revenge Therapy and Farside's Rigged. I brought both to the clerk, and asked which one was better. He admitted to knowing nothing about Farside, but took one look at the Revelation Records logo and said, "Do you like heavy stuff? This one is gonna be heavy." He held up the Jawbreaker and said, "I can definitely tell you that this album's great." And, boy, it was. (I got Farside's 'Rigged' a few weeks later, and that, too, was also great, but definitely not heavy).

While most retrospectives stake out Jawbreaker as a monument to emo, in their zeitgeist they were lumped in with pop punk and the East Bay scene. Where pop punk stayed within the confines of a three-chord, verse-chorus-verse formula, Jawbreaker veered into extended instrumental jams, moody, white noise textures, and irreverent samples. Where pop punk's attitude was basic and bratty, Jawbreaker's demeanor was literary and melancholy. They appealed to kids that matured from fart jokes to irony. Like J. D. Salinger, I think Jawbreaker speaks to post-pubescent angst really well. In particular, hyper-sensitive and brooding young males like myself. We're a lot of fun at parties.

I saw Jawbreaker on November 2, 1995 at the Cat's Cradle in Carrboro, North Carolina. The openers were The Smoking Popes and Eagle Bravo. If a kid were born on that day, they could legally drink now. Whoa. This show was notable for a number of reasons: 1. Like most ambitious punks, I did a zine at the time. I reached out to Jawbreaker's publicist at Geffen Records, thinking they were too big for some 15-year old kid with a zine that had a circulation of about 500 copies. Nope. Geffen was cool, set me up with a couple of hours with the band before the show, and put me and a friend on the guest list.

2. Since it was for my zine, I took photos. I had just gotten a fully manual SLR from an uncle and taken a photography class here and there, but definitely had no idea what I was doing. I shot black and white and developed the photos in the hallway bathroom. They didn't come out great, but it started a long tradition of photographing live music that I still partake in today. 3. My +1 couldn't make it, as he fell ill on the day of. It was something pretty serious, as Jawbreaker was one of his favorite bands. I got him a Get Well Soon card and had the band sign it. I remember that Blake wrote "Be well soon," to which I thought he was real learned and shit.

I followed the hype around Jets to Brazil enough to pick up Orange Rhyming Dictionary, and saw them a couple of times. They never grabbed me in the way Jawbreaker did, and I'm already bored writing this sentence, so that'll be that. [Editor’s note: So shady, Vincent].

There's only a couple of bands from my impressionable and developmental days that aged with me, and Jawbreaker was one of them. In the way that a song might have meant something to me at 16 years old, but take on a totally different meaning when I was 25. "Donatello" off Bivouac was like that. Over the years, I related to various interpretations: my relationship with my parents, living in suburban North Carolina, racial expectations, but it was never a love song to me. One random memory: there was a period in my life where I started making "normal" friends, stepping outside of the murky underground music scenes, and navigating parts of Chicago I had initially avoided. I ended up falling in love with a lady, who is now my wife. She threw a party once, and, for music, just plugged in her iPod and hit random. "Kiss the Bottle" was on there, a track from a mix CD a college friend had made her. While everyone was out back having some epic Flip Cup tournament and talking about the Cubbies, I was on the couch with a union cement pourer, taking Jameson shots, hugging as Jawbreaker fans do, and yelling every single word to that song at the stereo. He and I had casually talked records before, but I think that was a moment we really connected.

The reunion? I hope they make a million bucks. They deserve it. I already witnessed them endure the purist wringer when they signed to a major, and that seems so moot in 2017. However, I won't see them at Riot Fest. I lived in Chicago, but never went to Riot Fest, and have a million thoughts about it that aren't relevant to Jawbreaker. The one that does: there's a certain kind of performer that can create enough spectacle out of their music to entertain a massive audience in an outdoor venue. I don't think Jawbreaker is one of them. But, I also have never been around 60,000 people screaming "1-2-3-4 / Who's punk / What's the score," so what do I know?

Doug, teacher, has incredible hair and a preponderance of nice shirts, is someone I care about a great deal

My relationship with Jawbreaker is so intimately entwined with my coming of age that it is never really clear to me where Blake Schwarzenbach’s lyrics captured perfectly the fumblings and hurts of growing up and when those lyrics shaped my thoughts. If it is difficult for me to delineate this now, it was impossible for me when I was 19. At that age I was studying American literature in college, had my first band of any importance, fell in love and had my heart broken, and had what I thought was full control of the vices that would later haunt me. Dark secrets burn their vessel, it has been written, but at that age you can save them for later. It would be a few years until I fell from the wagon to the night train.

Fiction, reading and writing, was always more truthful to me. Looking back, it was because I wanted to write myself a better story. As a teenager I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. Like many of us in those awkward years, that drove me into independent bookstores and record shops. Although it felt iconoclastic in my suburban Boston town, like most angsty teens I fell in love with poetry, really and specifically, Beat poetry. I tore through the novels of Jack Kerouac, reading his blend of truthful fiction at the same rate as his prose. Carrying around a battered and dog eared copy of Howl one day while in Newbury Comics is how a conversation started with the clerk filing CDs. She recommended Jawbreaker’s Bivouac, Crimpshrine’s Quit Talkin Claude, and Leonard Cohen’s New Skin For the Old Ceremony. A pretty solid haul.

Beats spoke to me, but they never felt that they were of my time. Schwarzenbach’s lyrics however, contained an urgency and quality that made Jawbreaker songs feel like they were happening to me in the moment. And he made it clear that he/we were drawing from the same well. And because I believe in desperate acts, the kind that make you look stupid, I desperately tried to start a band like Jawbreaker from there on. That took a few years, though. I had to wait until I was in college. Until then Jawbreaker was a constant soundtrack, with “P.S. New York is Burning” copied onto countless mixtapes and the band’s albums passed around like samizdat. To be accurate, I spent too much time hanging out with my very small circle of friends, drinking coffee, with just cigarettes to fill the gaps in our empty days.

The band I formed in college was in retrospect a little too overt influenced by Jawbreaker. We were punks, sure, but with the local scene enamored with The Overcast and The Ducky Boys, I often felt like I should apologize from the stage, saying something like “Sorry we ain’t hard enough to piss your parents off.” But again, Blake’s lyrics felt like he was writing my soundtrack. His being open with the struggles and politics of the East Bay punk scene was writ large what has happening in my very tiny little world (is there anything smaller with bigger stakes than your hometown punk scene?)

Hell is definitely sitting in a van with seven punks for countless hours on the road. Unwashed and unkempt, four in the band and the rest “road crew;” the smells, the boredom, and the lack of space would crack anyone. And it was the greatest time of my life. Booking a tour pre-internet was no joke (Book Your Own Fucking Life, RIP) [Ed note: BYOFL does seem to exist in web form] and a cross country tour when you have two seven inches out, one of them a split, is the kind of undertaking left only to young and foolish punks. Of course, we didn’t make it far. We broke down at the top of Massachusetts. Shows were off, it was pretty heavy. Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life. Like Sal Paradise we kept trying until we were able to cross this vast continent. Driving seven hundred miles to play to fifteen angry men is disheartening - except! - when you can turn on Jawbreaker’s “Tour Song.” In the van after load out, listening to 24 Hour Revenge Therapy I could realize that there was nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.

Out in Berkley, having finally made it to the storied Gilman Street venue [a place the subject of this essay series played many times] for a show, was the beginning of the end for my band - although at the time it didn’t seem that way. The drummer, a prolific zine pen pal and all around social mover of the group, was able to bring in more people than a relatively unknown touring band would normally. It was people from bands and labels, the good ones, plenty of stunning children, so before I went on I felt the swell of making it. Here I was, about to go on the stage and witness the scene that I had so romanticized. The set was over quickly and, after, I stood outside in the East Bay industrial park drinking a beer and feeling the chill of fall. It was one of the rare moments of contentment and I didn’t grasp that the moment was fleeting; more temporary than I could imagine.

Of the end that was about to befall my band, it had eerie parallels with the crack up and break up Jawbreaker. Their signing to a major label caused major rifts in scene politics and it felt like one had to take a side. We weren’t offered the storied million bucks that Jawbreaker was but we were offered more than we had from the large indie label that was taking bets in the post-Green Day landscape. I guess I’m not the gambling type, since it didn’t quite make sense to me to take the deal, but I was a minority in the band. Even at that level moving units and tracking charts seemed like a fool’s errand. However, the scene chafed and I grew so goddamned tired of fighting against the chains. I was able to play guitar a little better, and piano a little better too, so why not make better music?

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them. All the talk of musicianship and the tensions of (very minor) success is really just a cover. I was drinking too much at that point. After our LP was released to far less impact than we expected I had a moment in one of the rare times we sprung for a hotel room. I woke up as the sun was reddening; and that was the one distinct time in my life, the strangest moment of all, when I didn't know who I was - I was far away from home, haunted and tired with travel, in a cheap hotel room I'd never seen, hearing the hiss of steam outside, and the creak of the old wood of the hotel, and footsteps upstairs, and all the sad sounds, and I looked at the cracked high ceiling and really didn't know who I was for about fifteen strange seconds. I wasn't scared; I was just somebody else, some stranger, and my whole life was a haunted life, the life of a ghost. I quit the band that night.

Truth is, now, years later, all I really need is hot good coffee, and a good, good book. Jawbreaker is reuniting, and I get it. Sometimes the past needs to be reckoned with in the present. Or maybe they just want to make some bank. The politics, optics, and aesthetics are debates I’ve left behind. I won’t go to the show because it will be familiar faces and still none to recognize. But I haven’t completely given up on nostalgia; I’ll still put on Jawbreaker records and bounce around with a foolish grin on my face. After all, it’s not that bad. I still have pictures. I look back.

#jawbreaker #unfun #24 hour revenge therapy #bivouac #blake schwarzenbach #adam pfahler #chris bauermeister #punk rock

3 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 7 years

Text

Survey #85

“so you can throw me to the wolves; tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack.”

when was the last time you saw the person you like? february what are you listening to? markiplier playing "scp containment breach." going on a nostalgia binge. would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend? nope. tyler wasn't for me. are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you? rape and abortion. have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? no. would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? i'd be fucking pissed. not out of jealousy, but because it's lustful and just generally disgusting. your last ex calls wanting to hangout, what do you say? probably "stop fucking harassing me." do you have a friend named ashley? no, but that's my older sister's name. are you an aunt or an uncle? yep. did you use to watch blues clues? of course. are you a twilight fan? i never was. when’s the last time you threw up? couple weeks ago. one of my pills makes me sick sometimes. do you stutter when you get nervous? terribly. what is your favorite superhero movie? "ghost rider," if you count him. do you think that aliens exist? no. do you own a pair of converses? i've got a few. do you regret your last relationship? i sure do. do you plan on having children in the future? currently, no. i really don't think i'm capable of raising another human being efficiently. when did you last go to the doctor and what for? i went to my therapy appointment a few days ago. are you socially awkward? agonizingly would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? horror if you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose? dragon what is your favorite animal and why? meerkats. they're adorable, unspeakably brave and loyal, and so curious. do you find yourself on youtube a lot? it's always open. what is something that reminds you of your childhood? dinosaurs what show do you miss coming on television? "meerkat manor" :( have you ever tried opening your eyes under water? yeah. don't like doing it though. have you ever been admitted to the hospital? five times. do you have a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder? a bit. i used to have baaad repetitive thought cycles when i was younger. do you use any acne medication? nah. i don't really get acne anymore. if you’re offered a trip to either hawaii or alaska which would you choose? alaska what cause (feminism, gay rights, abortion, etc) are you most passionate about? the pro-life movement how much money have you saved by shop lifting? what the fuck?! i don't shoplift to begin with. wtf. do you hate when couples are like “i love you” after dating for about 2 days? it's ignorant as fuck to say, yes. those are dangerous fucking words. have you ever run away? yes. ever been attacked by a dog? no. my little sister has, though. i'm pretty sure she still has the scar. ever had an out-of-body experience? no. ever considered acupuncture? noooo. do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? PSYCHOLOGICAL do you have a favorite youtuber? or do you not watch much youtube? rhett&link + markplier are my literal babes. who do you text the most? or do you like to text at all? sara. do you like ronnie james dio? \m/, motherfucker. ever given a tattoo before? would you like to? no. i have tremors, so that'd be a terrible idea. have you ever had a pet bird? no. do you have any siblings that you never seen before? one half-sister, yes. have you ever heard a song that made you cry? most notably johnny cash's version of "hurt." the first time i listened to it, i couldn't help but cry. like i know it's a cover, but his version just personifies pain. do you like the show “that 70s show”? it's probably like my second-favorite show. it's fucking hysterical. has your house ever been broken in to? thank god no. the bloods tried to break into our old house though while my older sister and her old best friend were home alone. they were terrified. do you listen to blink-182? some of their songs are great, sure. i like a couple. do you listen to nirvana? sometimes. what thumb do you use to hit the space bar with? my right. do you like regular or chocolate milk better? chocolate growing up, did you listen to country music? not usually by will, but i did regardless. my older sister usually controlled the radio and such. if i wanted to listen to music on my own time, it was usually mainstream pop. do you have a gazebo at your house? no do you like tomatoes? nooo. what type of waffles do you like? (plain, blueberry etc..) plain do you like chicken or beef better? or do you not eat meat? i prefer chicken. did america really put a man on the moon? yes. have you ever dated outside of your race? for less than a day. were you born in a hospital, or somewhere else? in a hospital. who is your favorite male singer? patrick stump from fall out boy. do you listen to any acoustic bands, or singers? not specifically. what is your birthstone? amethyst do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? just go to the drive-thru. i mean, isn't that the point of a fast food restaurant, to get food quickly and easily? do you like chinese food over pizza? nope. if someone you know offered you pot, what would you say? well first, i'd say no, and two, i'd most likely dissociate from that person. i in no way get involved with drugs. have you ever been to a strip club? hell no. how was/is the food in the cafeteria at your school? some were actually pretty decent, others were hellish. what is your favorite song? "do i wanna know?" by the arctic monkeys what do you think of the name courtney? i like it. do you have a wild side? not really, honestly. ever gone boating all day? i've been on a boat while fishing most of the day, but not like, all day. what is your favorite thing about going to your grandma’s house? honestly? nothing. i don't even get along with my grandma. do you like eggs? only if they're scrambled and cheesy. who are your heroes? mark fischbach and my mom. do you know who rodney atkins is? i live in the south, buddy. take a guess. are you tall? no. when is the last time you wore a dress? my sister's wedding. what is the last alcoholic beverage you’ve had? a strawberry smirnoff. do you know someone that smiles ALL the time? no. that'd be freaky. who is the hottest person alive? link neal, boys and girls. are you ready for summer? hell no. i hate everything about summer. do you like the sun or do you like snow better? snow!! don’t you love pancakes? hell ye boi. quick name a country singer: tim mcgraw. the only one i sincerely like. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with? family. ever had fruit pizza? ew, no. fruit doesn't belong on pizza. do you know anyone named caleb? i'm acquainted with one. he's cool. how many friends do you have on facebook? around 110, i think a little more? what was on the last sandwich you ate? peanut butter. what sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? the same stuff i listen to now: heavy metal. i went through a phase where i listened to even heavier, more emo-styled bands, though. what is your favorite thai dish? never tried any. how many contacts do you have in your phone? i think like 15, lol. when was the last time you made out with somebody? around a year and a half. what month of the year was your mother born? august. how many apps do you have on your phone? only four. my phone doesn't have a lot of memory. have you ever dated a smoker? if not, would you? i haven't, and no, i honestly wouldn't. would you rather travel to japan or scotland? hmmmm... i THINK japan, but i'm honestly unsure. what is your mother’s first name? donna. do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? yes. have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area? it's possible i guess, but i don't think so. how would you label your sexual orientation? heterosexual do you consider your goals easily achievable or are they pretty grand? eh, kinda in-between... my only real goal is to be a photographer, but the photography industry is SUPER competitive. what’s your favorite vegetable? broccoli is yummy. especially with cheese. would you rather eat italian or indian food? italian have you ever missed a flight? no. can you name five adjectives describing you? passionate, shy, sleepy, nervous, and loyal. do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex? a bit long. what is your favorite soda? mountain dew what is your opinion on legalizing drugs? you are honestly naive if you believe that's a good idea. no offense. do you like country music? no. have you ever done something illegal more than once? yes. if you could marry any celebrity, who would it be? mark fischbach omg can you swim? yes. what are your fears? pregnancy/childbirth, closed spaces, being alone in the end, long-legged spiders, the ocean, whale sharks, maggots/larvae, other things... do you shave your arms even though it supposedly grows back thick? no. do you ever get too lazy to clean up your pet’s pee and leave it for your parents to do it? i clean my dog's pee because he's my responsibility. if cali pees, i tell mom. bentley, i tell nicole. what insects or bugs do you fear most? rhino beetles and wasps do you think weed is just as bad as cigarettes? it's fact that it's worse. it has more carcinogens. don’t you just love free samples? obviously. are you someone’s best friend? no. have you ever used alternative medicine or old-fashioned remedies? i don't think so. what color and style is your hair? it's red, but with overgrown roots. do you wear glasses? yeah. do you want kids? no. there's just no way i'd be able to properly take care of a kid. what if you were in a fire and you could only save one object, what would it be? i'm guessing family and pets are already safe? then in that case, my laptop. what if you could ask god any one question, what would it be? "why do people who aren't sure whether or not they believe in you go to hell?" what if you found a suitcase full of $1,000,000, what would you do? honestly, i'd look for identification. i just couldn't take that much money with a good conscience. what if you had to choose, would you give up your sight or your hearing? sight. i couldn't live in total silence. what if you saw a robbery, would you report it? obviously??? what if you were given a chance to go to the moon, would you go? why or why not? no. i don't want to be in space that long. what if your friend could not have a child, would you carry her child for her? honestly, no. my 1st job was: game stop sales clerk favorite dog breed: hmmm. i really really like akita inus. papillons, too. assuming you had the cash to make it happen, what would your ideal living situation be at this point in your life (i.e. with who, where, under what circumstances, etc.)? how does your ideal compare to your current situation? i don't have anyone i'd like to live with besides who i do now, but i know i'd really like a wood house in the woods by a waterfall. it'd be different from where i live now, definitely. we live right beside a road that leads to a small town. if someone were to travel to your city (assuming they have never been there before), what would you tell them to visit? is your city (or the closest larger city to you) a big tourist area at all? lmao there's nothing to really visit. and no. if, as a parent of a teenager, you knew that your teenage daughter was having sex/thinking about having sex, would you put her on birth control pills? do you agree or disagree with those who say that placing teenagers on the pill encourages promiscuous sex? if you’re on the pill, how old were you when you went on it? if you’re not, have you ever considered taking it? i'd be pretty heavily trying to influence her to not have sex as a teen, but if that's what she really wanted, yes, i'd put her on the pill. i don't believe it encourages promiscuous sex, no. i was put on the pill when i was like... maybe 16, but only due to severe period cramps. what is the worst example of poverty you have seen in person? does this make you feel guilty at all (say, for throwing out food that you didn’t finish)? the saddest thing i saw, actually recently, was a pregnant woman with her husband in the pouring rain with just a small umbrella and a sign. can't remember what it said, honestly, but it was depressing. and of course i feel guilty. do you look at sex as a special thing that is shared with someone you love, or do you treat sex more casually? if you are a virgin, are you waiting for the right person to come along, or do you have religious/moral reasons to wait? it is 100% something special you share with hopefully one person. and i'm waiting for both reasons. do you unfriend people on facebook who post endless status updates or seem to be begging for attention? what about family members or coworkers – are you comfortable accepting their friend requests? is there anything on your facebook that could potentially cause trouble for you if someone were to see it? if you're fishing for attention, hell yes i do. i don't put up with that. and i take invites from family, yes. but i guess my use of profanity could cause some nasty looks from some of my family, particularly my grandma. when you have a significant other, are you honest about everything with that person, or do you think that there are some things better left unsaid? do you want your significant other to be willing to tell you anything and everything as well? i'm entirely open. and yes. grossest memory: that one time my late lizard pooped aaall over my hands and shirt. i nearly puked. what do you think of "abstinence"? it's the safest option for everyone. don’t you just hate preachers? uhhh, nooo...? does a mango smoothie sound good to you now? omgggg yaaaas what’s something that you find trashy? very short shorts. cover your ass, please. crayons or markers? crayons would you rather receive roses or sunflowers? roses. do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long? honestly, i'm always in my pajamas unless i have to go somewhere. mints or chewing gum? gum. at one point of your life, have you been obsessed with dinosaurs or robots? dinosaurs, yes. i was obsessed as a kid. i still think they're cool. have you ever been in a car accident? yes. are you afraid of stink bugs? yeah, they look freaky. are you interested in anime? somewhat, sure. name your favorite cartoon. pokemon are you afraid of the dentist? nah. do you believe in abortion? no. have you ever tried jolly rancher candy canes? YUUUUM, yes ;v; do you go hunting? no. what is your biggest accomplishment in life so far? recovering. do documentaries bore you? if they're about animals, no. are you usually happy or sad most of the time? happy, as of the late. (: are you afraid of spiders? most, yes. what is your most prized possession? the plaque i have for graduating in the very top percentage of my class. do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? closed. have you ever peed in the woods? no. ever used a gun? no. who would you like to see in concert? METALLICA, PLSSSSSS what’s your second favorite color? pink do you know any african spiritual songs? no. what kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? mustard and ketchup. what’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person? jason breaking up with me. what’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak? again, jason leaving. who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today? myself? what is one thing you feel your life is missing? adventure, definitely. action. which blink-182 song do you think is the most depressing? that i know? "i miss you." what color lights are on your christmas tree? we use colorful ones every year. are there hurricanes where you live? yep. have you ever been to a rehab center? i guess that depends on what you mean by "rehab center." never a place exclusively to get off drugs, no. but the mental hospitals i've been to doubled as detox centers. which was remarkably stupid. you don't treat mental illness patients the same as patients going through detox??? what’s your favorite flavor of ramen? i don't like ramen. have you ever been given an ink blot test? if so, what did you see in it? in a therapy thing, yes actually. and i mean, lots of things? i was shown various things. are you friends with someone who is a stoner? no. wait, yes actually. but we don't really talk much anymore. do you like playing shooting games at the arcade? nah. how long have you lived in the house you live in? only like two months. where did you lose your virginity, if you have? n/a what color car(s) do your parents drive? i think dad's is black, mom's is white. what are your views on getting rid of the penny? i don't really care. which asian country would you most like to visit? japan have you ever had a nosebleed? hasn't everyone at one point or another? do you have bangs? no. have you ever kissed someone underneath mistletoe? i don't think so. do you have a weak stomach? no. which website do you spend the most time on? youtube. it's always open/i'm always listening to something, usually let's plays. have you ever kissed someone of a different race? he kissed me, i didn't kiss him. do you read fanfiction? if so, what fandoms? no, actually. would you go back to your ex if he/she asked you? tyler, definitely not. jason, not right away. he'd definitely have to prove himself to me again. do you like stars, or hearts better? hearts mickey mouse, or winnie the pooh? pooh! where is the best place to get ice cream? coldstone, brother.

#survey #quiz #questions #asks #answered

4 notes · View notes

let-me-help-you-bruce · 8 years

Text

Bruce x Reader Part 4

Maddox walked clumsily next to me his innocent blue eyes connected to the grocery store floor. The refrigerator was well stocked but he hadn’t been out of the house since the day he was brought to the penthouse. You could see the cabin fever setting in whenever he gazed out the window as if the outside world was a long lost lover so reasonably Bruce and I had become concerned.. “Maddox would you like anything specific? He looked at me with lost eyes shaking his head “no” I smiled at him accepting his answer shocked Joker had produced such a quiet and humble son; which differed so much from his flashy and ridiculous personality. I headed towards to check-out line only few bags of candy in the plastic basket I carried. Maddox followed closely behind me. “Did you give daddy my letter?” I smiled at his sweet voice, turning my head to answer. “I am going to give it to him today at our visit” a little smile rose on his face. “Do you think he will write me back?” he said innocent hope in his voice. I nodded replying “yes” knowing that if Joker wouldn’t write back I was well prepared to convince Bruce to write a fake Joker letter for him, he was to sweet of a boy to have his heart broke again. We got to our turn to check out, the total coming to 11.50, I paid in cash and we made our way out to my personal Lamborghini Huracan RWD coup that I had bought after ten years of saving 100 dollars out of each of my paychecks, it was my favorite car. Bruce had advised me to take the black SUV but I declined knowing Joker had his own Lamborghini and that mine could possibly bring little Maddox closer to home, Bruce nodded in agreement.

On our way home Maddox was quiet as usual but making a slightly disgusted face at the song that played on the radio. “You don’t like this song Maddox?” He smiled blushing a little. “No way” he replied. I ushered towards the radio station “Have at it pick what you like” He jumped for it turning the sleep black radio dial until he found the station he preferred. Hardcore rap started blaring from the speakers Maddox bobbing his little head along with it while his eyes searched the city observing all the people we zoomed by. I smiled to myself knowing that this is the station Joker would blast as himself, Carmen and Maddox mad their way illegally through Gotham to raise hell. Maddox had his fathers smile and eyes but most of him from his hair to his personalities mimicked his mothers- something I wasn’t sure to deem as good or not.

I pulled into the garage under the pent house met by Bruce eyeballing the car once hearing the loud music. He smiled slightly and waved at Maddox. He smiled returning the gesture before unbuckling his seat-belt and running to Bruce’s side. “Did you hear that Mr. Bruce?” Maddox said delight smeared all over his face. Bruce nodded smiling wider. I made my way out of the car locking the doors behind me. My footsteps making a hallow echoing sound in the all cement room. “I sure did. Those were some pretty funky jams.” Maddox nodded “Yep and I got to pick the radio station!” he said jamming his thumb into his chest. “Well you have excellent taste in music my friend” Excitement seemed to well up inside of Maddox’s little body when hearing that. He laughed crazily before bolting into the house chanting “Alfred, Alfred!” most likely going to share the happy news.

My eyes lingered on the twenty cars that surrounded us before going in for a kiss. Our lips connected and I could feel that Bruce was in a pleasant mood, he always was before leaving on a business trip. Sadness filled me I didn’t want him to leave but when duty calls Bruce came running. I made my way past him to go inside but he caught my arm pulling me gently back. “What’s up Doc?” he said in his smooth voice. I faked a smile to avoid talking about my feelings... something your average therapist/psychiatrist would never dare to say. “You know just going to put today's gatherings away” He nodded smiling at me looking deep into my eyes. “Don’t worry I won’t be gone to long I can’t leave the best-” He cut himself off seeming like he caught himself saying a bad word. “What dear?” I said hoping he would say something romantic but as normal he just shook his head smiling. “Never mind love” He said kissing my forehead. “I will be back in a week or two” he said looking intently at me. I squirmed under his gaze and focused on the crack in the wall behind him. “I love you” his voice quivered with sincerity. I blushed “I love you too Bruce.”

“Take care of Maddox and Alfred for me my lacking presence will be a great loss to them” he winked at me before getting into his car. Smiling and blushing at my husband’s charm I didn’t pay attention to which vehicle he had chosen. Instead I stood love-struck watching him drive out of the garage. Already missing him I walked calmly into the house. Alfred and Maddox were in the kitchen munching happily on sandwiches. “Well look at you two cuties” I said rustling Maddox’s hair. I cast a glance at the clock it was 10:30am; my second cession with the Joker was at 11:30. Quickly I sprinted back to my room to shower and change out of the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing and into a floor length long sleeved black dress. Due to my position at the asylum I was not allowed to participate in restraints so I could wear whatever, professional, attire I liked. I put on a little bit of make up grabbed my badge and name tag and walked briskly for the door. “I have an appointment boys so I will be back! Be safe for me please.” Alfred smiled handsomely at me while Maddox stared at me not moving. “I will give it to him don’t worry” He looked down smiling happy I remembered.

My drives to the Asylum were often peaceful. Today rain cloud had showed their face coating the town in unexpected drizzles but still the drive was all together nice. When I arrived at Arkham I was met by my assistant, a young ginger headed boy, who was carrying an umbrella above him. “Good day Mrs. Wayne!” He cheesed covering my with the umbrella as I got out of the car. “Good day Rodney” I smiled. He was a good kind. “How have my patients been today?” I asked casually as we walked he would know little to none about any of my patients but I felt it nice to include him. “Nothing new that I have heard” he said focusing on missing the rain puddles that spotted the pavement. “Joker had a melt down yesterday and broke a guards leg but that’s about it” He smiled getting the door for me. Graciously I said “thank you” and stepped in; Waiting for him as he closed the umbrella. “Joker is a tricky one sometimes” I said when he finally stepped by my side. We walked together silently down the long grey halls before he stepped into his office stating he had paperwork to busy himself with. I nodded glad he was leaving due to the fact I was five minutes late for my cession. I bolted the few feet left to my office threw my purse on my desk and snatched Joker’s files out of a large metal filing cabinet.

My office door slammed behind me and I bolted down the familiar hallway stopping briefly to straighten myself out before entering the therapy. Joker would have a fit out laughter if he say me frazzled. “Hello Mr. Joker I apologies for being late.” He had a scowl no his face but replied in a peasant tone. “It’s no hassle Dr.” I looked at the guards ushering them out. Joker carefully watched them as they exited out of the grey dull room. “You should really spruce this place up Dr. there is nothing therapeutic about grey walls and a metal table.” He smiled weakly trying to keep up his usual act but it was obvious he was slipping. I nodded agreeing with him. The room wasn’t that pleasant to be in. “I will see what I can do.” I replied opening up his tan folder the card Maddox had written him lay on top. Joker leaned forward peering it. “what’s that Dr?” I smiled at his reaction playing it off. “Oh this?” I held up the card. Joker looked at it something like longing played in his eyes. He nodded. “Maddox wrote it for you. He’s a sweet boy” Joker looked at me seeming to not know how to reply- he struggled with understanding his emotions, he was even worst at vocalizing them. I opened the envelop and slid it a crossed the table.

His eyes lingered over it but due to the straight jacket he wore he wasn’t able to open it. I was going to undue his restraints knowing it wasn’t the safest thing to do but by doing so some sort of trust could be formed between him and I. “Joker I need you to sit still okay. If you make any attempt to attack me you will be shot. Got it?” He looked at me confused as I walked behind him. I began fidgeting with the jacket. “Oh Doctor” he growled “Buy me a drink first” I smirked at his comment getting the straps to come loose around him. My legs brought me back to my seat straight jacket in hand. Joker began devouring the note with his eyes seeming to read it over and over again. His chest rising and falling with the quickening of his breathe. Twenty minutes had passed before he looked up at me new life in his eyes. Dramatically he stretched out in his chair positioning himself in a player way. His mouth formed into a grin. “Thank you Dr.” I smiled taking out my green note pad preparing myself for his reaction when I brought up Carmen again. It was seemingly painful for him but I needed to get to the center of him which seemed to be her. “Okay Mr. Joker I am going to cut to the chase what was your relationship with Carmen.” His eyes narrowed as he sat up scooting himself closer to the table. Clenching his tattooed fists on the table. “Why is that relevant to my broken mind Dr. hmm?” He said in an attempt to change the subject.

I sat back pressing my lips together. “Because I know you have a strong.. attachment to the girl and from observing your reaction to the last time I spoke her name she seems to have great influence in your life.” He looked unimpressed at me as he snaked his hands around on the smooth metal table. I observed then they were scarred and tattooed. On his right wrist he had ‘Carmen’ tattooed surrounded by little blue flowers a elegant pistol below the letters. I looked to his left wrist and saw Maddox surrounded by the same blue flowers only a baby rattle sat where the pistol did below Carmen’s name. “Your right doctor you caught me” he put his hands up smiling. “She’s my.. salvation. The ground she walks on is my will to live.” He trailed off seeming to fight with himself for a moment “The boy is the only living thing left of that brat” he slammed his fist down on the table laughing hysterically. Guilt raised up inside of me for lying to him but I had to remember who he was. He had killed hundreds of people, people who didn’t deserve to die. He hurt people he stole, he manipulated all for what seemed to him as fun. Still a part of me wanted to tell him Carmen was alive.

I sighed. “Did you know she was dead before our previous cession?” He winced at the word ‘dead’ shaking his head ‘no’ slowly. Seeing that he was opening up I took a chance to ask what I had been dying to know. “So what happened that night?” He dropped his head onto the metal table growling his fingers gripped the edge of the table turning his knuckles more white than they already were. “The hide-out got busted because of silly men and their ignorance.” He gritted his teeth not looking at me but I gave him an encouraging nod anyway. “The bitch got taken because she was trying to coo the little brat out from under his bed because he was...” He sat up a look of disgust on his face and in a mocking tone. “Scared” I wrote down as minimal as I could which seemed to please Joker. “Who busted your hide-out?” I asked in a pleasant tone. He scoffed laughing. “A pathetic little man” I pressed further “Where was Carmen taken?” His head began to shake in a rhythmic motion before bouncing it off the table. I jumped back but calmed when he sat up laughing. “They took he back to their cave” He twirled his fingers around dramatically setting up the situation. “They kept the bitch in a little box taking their turns with her until she was a sobbing pile of pathetic..” He gritted his teeth harder standing up and punching the wall behind him, letting him go hoping it was somewhat helpful to his situation.

I looked him over he was wearing the asylums signature grey sweat pants and sweatshirt. He was still fit and well toned probably keeping up with his fitness in his free time to ease the pain of losing the only people he probably cared about in his own damaged way. He brushed his hair back with his hands even though it flopped back to the green mess it had become laughing gently he turned to me his blue eyes stained with defeat. He had gotten a ‘c’ tattooed under left eye and a noose dropping down next to his ear on the same side. “Frosty found her naked, shivering like a little puppy.” His eyes cast themselves down longingly to the floor “Was Maddox there?” I pipped in knowing the answer. “Yes he was.” His eyes turned cold, hateful at the words I spoke. “I showed him- grabbed him by the neck” Joker acted out the situation while talking “ and I said ‘junior look what you did to your mom? how could a son do such a thing to the creature that brought you life’’

“What did Maddox do when you told him that?” Joker laughed at my question sitting down in his seat his eye narrowing and his mouth wrapping into a grin. “Oh he cried ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ and gently caressed her head whispering like a little snake into her ear all the way until we arrived at the warehouse.” The cruel Joker everyone came to know came out of his shell reminding me why he was here. “Then at the warehouse- well you know the rest of that Dr.” I nodded say at him. “I think that should be all for today Mr. Joker” He looked at me shocked “That’s it!?” I was taken back by his reaction. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” He huffed in his seat crossing his arms “I told you everything for yo little coppy friends and you don’t offer anything in return?? Now that’s such poor manners for a educated lady like yourself”

My initial thought was he wanted to exchange the information which was a big no-no. “What is it you want?” I asked walking over to re-apply his straight jacket. Silently he sat feeling my hands on his body. “To see Maddox” He mumbled. I ushered the guards in to take him away. “I can do that for you Mr. Joker. Now have a safe day.” He looked at me in awe. before the wheeled him out. Exhausted I sat down at the table writing down every scrap of information I could remember.

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #joker x reader #batman #jared leto joker

18 notes · View notes