#I was this close to having this be 3000 words

[lefteagleblizzard]

𝕭𝖊𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖐

Derek danforth x gender neutral reader

Summary: as Derek’s personal assistant, it’s your job to do whatever you need to in order to make your boss’ day run smoothly.

This is like a continuation of the other story that I wrote for Derek, but can also be read as a standalone.

Warnings: gender neutral reader. No use of Y/N. Smut! Oral sex (reader giving). Dom Derek. Boss x advisor relationship. Sorry for bad grammar. Sorry if it’s cringe. Enjoy :)

Word counts: 3000+

The coffee pot is already halfway empty when you walks into the staff kitchen at half past eleven, the handle of your green and white spotted mug hanging loosely from your fingertips. You nod a greeting at a coworker of yours, scrolling through her Blackberry as she sips from her own orange mug, and step up to the counter. Setting your cup down on the linoleum surface, you grab the pot and fill the cup two-thirds with the liquid energy that doesn’t work as well as it used to.

The office is abuzz with the usual hustle and bustle. People huddle around the coffee machine, tapping away at keyboards, and discussing weekend plans.

You could hear whispers barely audible from behind you.

You strut past, your chin held high. You catch their stares but don’t flinch.

They are more than likely talking about the purple constellation that adorned your neck.

Courtesy of the esteemed boss, Mr. Danforth. They are like a badge of honor, they show how dedicated to your job you were.

You open the cabinet overhead and digs out three packets of sugar and a stirrer. Tossing them next to your mug, you traverse the small space to the fridge and pull open the door to grab the hazelnut creamer off the side. When you turns around, closing the fridge door with your elbow, Mickey is squeezing into the room around the woman as she leaves.

“Need a boost already?” Mickey asks with a bit of laughter in his voice.

Mickey is one of the members of the UDG and, although he and you aren’t particularly close outside of the office, he makes for good company during the day.

You offers up a smile before returning your attention to your coffee. “I’ve been running around all morning coordinating the arrival plans of various investors,” you explain, opening the creamer and filling your mug the rest of the way. “And there’s that joint meeting with Production after lunch so I can’t risk passing out.”

Putting the creamer aside, he tears open all three packets of sugar at once and pours them in.

Mickey hums sympathetically even though he’ll be sitting in on the meeting as well. He takes a quick look at the side of your neck, rolling his eyes at the indecency in trying at least to hide obvious things. He goes to grab a cup of greek yogurt with his name written along the top and side in thick, black marker, nabbing the creamer on his way to the fridge to put it back.

You gently stir your coffee to dissolve the sugar. You curl your fingers around the handle, careful so they don’t brush against the burning stoneware.

“Long night, eh?” He said while glancing back quickly at your neck with his eyes.

“Oh, you have no idea.” your eyes gleaming as you remembered the party that occurred the night before.

You raised the mug in a wave and laughed at the annoyed pinch of Mickey’s eyebrows. Lifting the mug to your lips, you take a sip off your coffee as you turn to walk through the floor back to your own office. It’s still much too hot, and you may have overdone it on the sugar, but you need the caffeine to kick in sooner rather than later.

You walk past, triumphant, leaving behind your coworkers still whispering behind your back, unapologetically proud. Because sometimes, in the corporate jungle, you’ve got to wear your bruises with pride.

The department is in a casual disarray with the preparations for the afternoon meeting, the potential launch of a new line of products the main stressor. It’s still rather early in discussion; all of the serious panicked overtime work won’t happen for another couple months.

Taking another sip of your coffee before placing your mug down on the coaster you drunkenly stole from a sports bar a few months ago, you drag over your tablet. You tap and drag your stylus over the screen until you pull up your email. There’s already five new emails in your inbox.

You sigh from annoyance.

At the light call of your name, you push out of your lazy lean over your desk and straighten up. Turning over your shoulder, you lock eyes with your boss. The slightly older man rests against the open doorway, a hand tucked into the pocket of his light green slacks. He wears a light smile that quirks into something of a smirk.

His pupils were dilated.

The fucker was already having fun without you.

“Yes, Mr. Danforth?” you answer, fully facing your boss with your head resting on the back of your hands closed with your fingers intertwined. Your eyes start to wander toward the floor but you drag them back up to the older man’s face.

Your boss looks you up and down with purpose. “Come into my office for a moment, please?” He talked with that preppie teenage snot voice that you’ve come to like more and more.

“Now?” You hide a grin behind your hands. You could hear footsteps of other coworkers.

“If you have the time.”

Nodding, you keep your eyes on your boss as the older man steps out of the doorway and walks across the hallway to his own office. Once he’s out of sight, you heave in a deep breath.

You grab your coffee, taking one last drink while it’s still warm because you know you’re not going to be back before it cools.

For being the CEO of a ‘successful’ company at the young age of twenty-eight, Derek Danforth has a unique head on his shoulders.

As his personal advisor, you know a lot of Derek’s quirks — the signs he’s not as indefinitely happy as he seems and wading in stress. Signs like the way his eyes were iced over a moment ago, and like the way his fingers twitched where they hid in his pocket.

And it’s your job to keep Derek ‘in check’.

It had started with a stealthy look during a meeting, when you were still relatively new to the job.

Then with a stolen smile in the hallway.

Then with a light exchange of words while you were still working at night.

To then sex whenever the two of you wanted to.

Every encounter was a risk (at least for you in the beginning), but the thrill and the passion had overwhelmed you two like a stormy wave.

You step into Derek’s office, eyes on the tips of your shoes. You drag the door shut and twist the lock behind your back without raising your chin.

“Yes, Sir?”

Derek’s fingers tap along the surface of his desk, the skips in rhythm a confirmation that he’s under stress. They stop, and then you hear the slide of a computer mouse over a mouse pad followed by a click and a flurry of typing.

And you wait, playing with your fingers behind your back where Derek can’t see. (Although he probably knows that you are fidgeting. You always had a problem with fidgeting.)

The tip tap of Derek’s fingers moving over the keys echoes in the spacious expanse of his office and the lack of immediate attention leaves you to hover between alertness and disconnect.

“Come sit,” Derek says at last, tone conversational.

You lets yourself disconnect a little more, the command enough to push you into a pleasant haze. You bobs your head in a nod. “Yes, Sir.”

Derek isn’t one for flair but the visitor’s chairs in his office have cushions like clouds. You leave a subtle hint every once in a while that you want to know where they came from but Derek has yet to divulge.

You want to reach out to touch the back of one of the two chairs, but you keep your hands to yourself as you round the desk and stop at Derek’s left. You catch a glimpse of Derek’s desk as you drop to your knees.

There was some strange paper that looked like a sort of message but you had no time to read it as the paper was instantly crushed by Derek’s fingers and thrown to the trash.

Derek sinks his fingers into your hair with an approving hum.

A quiet exhale blows over your lips. You lean into the touch, letting your eyes fall shut as you’re petted. When your mind starts to wander, you lose track of time, so you don't know how many minutes pass before Derek turns in his chair and guides you between his spread legs.

“Do you mind helping me out?” Derek asks in a needy voice, massing his fingers into your nape.

You hum, pleased. The fingers at your neck press harder and you pull your eyes open. “Of course.”

Derek’s hand leaves your neck and travels to his belt.

“Actually...” you meet Derek’s eyes for the first time since entering his office. The heady gaze of hunger makes your cheeks tint and your heart soar. At the quirk of an eyebrow, you know to continue. “I was waiting until after the meeting but I have a proposal for you.”

Derek’s right eyebrow raises to join the left. He leans back in his chair and props one of his elbows up on an arm rest. “Show me, then.”

You rise to your feet. You preen under Derek’s attention, squirming cutely as you undoe the button and zip of your pants and inches them down to your knees, along with your underwear. Waddling to face the desk, you spare a glance back at your boss before moving his laptop off to the side.

Resting your weight onto your elbows, you leans over the desk with your unbuttoned slacks held up by spread thighs. You swipe your tongue over your lips and shifts your weight onto one arm, reaching back with the other to spread yourself open for Derek to see.

The chair creaks a bit when Derek raises out of it.

“You’ve been stressed as of lately and it’s okay if you don’t wanna talk about it to me. I was hoping I could—”

“Quiet.”

Pressing your forehead against the desk, you bite back another whimper and clamp your lips shut.

Derek’s fingers are cold as they trail down the slight exposure of your back and over the curve of your ass. Already properly ready to take him thanks to you.

“How many times have you come today?” He rubs his finger up and down.

You shake your head.

Clicking his tongue, Derek bears his hand down on your ass, the slap light but scolding.

Your breath hitches and you exhale out a small giggle, soaring a little higher after the hit. “Zero.” You answer properly.

“I’d love to fuck you loose and then turn you over the other side of my desk. Unlock the door and let anyone who comes in see how beautifully you gape.”

Whimpering, you clench around nothing under the effect of his finger. Derek rubs circles into the small of his back, shushing you under his breath.

“You want it that badly, eh?”

His words get lost in the clouds filling the space between your ears, making his voice a dull noise that sounds like it’s happening outside the walls of the office.

“Sweetheart?”

Giggling, you press your cheek into the desk and tries to look up at your boss.

Derek pokes the tip of his nose and chuckles when you scrunches it. “You went down further than I thought you would,” he mumbles to himself. “That’s fine. I guess we both need it.”

You stare at him starry-eyed, grin uncontrollable, as Derek retrieves his fingers and yanks your pants up.

Beginning to work at his belt, Derek nods at his advisor. “On your knees”

A part of you wants to whine at the command — wants Derek to touch you, wants to be able to touch yourself — but the gruff voice of your boss’ voice scrapes over your skin and leave you warm and obedient. You push yourself up and easily return to your position on the floor, back pulled straight in attention and arms folded behind your back, hands curved around your elbows, in denial.

Derek brushes soft fingers over your cheek and under your jaw. “Aren’t you so beautiful like this, sweetheart?” He slides his belt free and loops it around the back of your neck. With a harsh tug, he pulls your face to his crotch.

“We don’t have a lot of time, so you’re going to suck me off and then I’m going to send you out,” he explains. “But since you prepared such a nice present. Sit close to me during the meeting so it won’t be as boring. If you can make it through without needing to excuse yourself, we can just leave, maybe go back to my place and fuck over and over. I don’t need to explain to you what happens if you can’t resist, clear?”

“Crystal,” you slur, mouth smushed against the stiffening swell of Derek’s erection.

Derek releases the belt, leaving it hanging around your shoulders, and let you work at the button of his pants.

You lower yourself to sit back and to be in line with Derek’s hips.

Without answering, Derek opens his pants enough to pull himself free. His cock hangs heavily between the green flaps of his slacks, already hard enough to hook to the right. Leaving one hand loosely curled around himself, he presses the fingers of the other to your lips.

You part them, still looking up at your boss with starry eyes. Derek teases a finger along your bottom lip.

He chuckles brightly but a second later his entire face closes off. “What are you smiling for?” His voice sinks nearly a whole octave and, as expected, your tiny grin drops.

Breath quickening, you quickly lower your gaze and try to straighten your back impossibly more, the sound of Derek’s voice hitting that particular low knocking you into another level of submission.

The fingers at your lip hook over your teeth and pull his jaw open wider.

“Excited to have my dick?” Derek angles his dick up and rubs the shaft, already smelling thick with arousal, over the ball of your cheek.

Your eyes begin to glaze over where they’re glued to the fall of Derek’s light green or seawater tone dress shirt over the base of his cock. You try to blink yourself out of it, faintly aware of where the two of you are and your limits, but when the hand at your mouth leaves and drags back along your jaw to settle like an anchor at your nape, the desire to sink is so inviting.

“You’re my sweet, little cockslut, aren’t you?” Derek punctuates the question by slapping the side of your face with his dick, the sound made hollow by your open jaw. “Always so good for me.”

Sucking in a shuddering breath and letting your eyes drift shut again, you nod once. “Yes,” you exhale and turn your head to press your nose into Derek’s shaft.

Derek’s grip softens and he grazes lines into your skin. “Haven’t had you like this in a while,” he says, and then reestablishes the weight of his hand.

He presses the tip of his cock to your lips, which part once more without instruction, and slides into your mouth.

“That’s it,” Derek sighs. He draws out before guiding you down his length again, giving little time to allow his slut to relax. “Take all of it.”

The bit of coarse hair at Derek’s base that pokes out over the hem of his pants tickles your nose and if you hadn’t fallen deeper, you probably would have laughed. But you’re quiet as Derek holds your face flush against his hips that shallowly roll forward, pushing his cock as far into your mouth as his limits will allow.

He sighs again, more labored, and you peel open your eyes to glance up at him.

Derek’s own eyes trail up from where they were watching your mouth to meet his slut’s gaze.

You blink three times, your signal for an okay when he can’t use his hands or words.

Derek inches out, checks his hold on you, and slides back in, gaining speed and ending up choking you as he uses your mouth to get off.

And you take it so well, hollowing your cheeks on the backstroke and swallowing around the head of Derek’s cock when it bumps the back of your throat, even as the rough treatment steals the air from your lungs and builds tears in your eyes.

Sporadically, Derek murmurs a compliment in between the low groans and hushed curses, so proud of his precious advisor, his sweetheart — and every word makes you ache between his legs, makes your hands tighten where they’re clamped around your elbows, makes you skyrocket.

The ringing of Derek’s office phone goes ignored as he focuses on the moist warmth of his slut’s mouth and chasing his end. It’ll get him in trouble one day, maybe, but here in this moment, with your throat working around his dick in that way he likes and the blood in his veins singing, he can’t be bothered with caring.

Derek doesn’t always warn you before he comes, but you know all of the signs. Signs like how he presses his nails into your skin or how his left knee trembles the slightest bit. And when he sucks in his cheeks and hum, Derek comes warm and thick on your tongue.

Some of it leaks when Derek pulls out of your mouth, sliding over your swollen lips, but the older man is quick to catch it on a finger and feed it back to you.

“Tuck me in” Derek demands after you swallow, voice still husky but now light. The corners of his lips rise into a satiated smirk.

Unfolding your arms, you shake the crawling feeling out of them before tucking Derek back into his underwear and adjusting his pants. As he redoes the buttons, Derek rubs all over your neck, upper back, and shoulders. “Was I able to help?”

With a gruff he managed to pull you on his lap, not that you showed any sign of protest. “Not too bad so far. We’ll see how I feel later tonight”

All you do in response is tuck your nose into Derek’s throat and enjoys being held.

“Can’t wait,” you exhales.

Note: thanks for reading. Criticism is completely accepted

[sinfullyrosey]

How to Tame Your Dragon

Malleus Draconia X Male!Reader

Warnings: Dom!Reader, Blowjob, Deep Throating, Mild Bondage (via a tail), Scent Kink, Degradation & Praise (aimed at Malleus), Rimming, Anal, Orgasm Denial, Malleus is a Simp Needy Sub

I put my whole ass pussy and braincell into this fic lol

The meeting had run a little later than expected, advisors droning on about some new laws drafted up and issues brought forth by the people. Others asking him his input on certain political issues and how he’s going to address them. All was just so draining and mind numbing to the young king.

But all of that doesn’t matter now what with the room having been evacuated of everyone save for himself and his human companion. The very same magicless human he had met at Night Raven College all those years ago and who had now become his partner in marriage.

You.

A mere child of man.

The one who has his heart in your hands and whose vision blesses his thoughts each and every day that goes by. The one who became his first friend, his first adviser, his first and only love.

The same lover who is currently sitting comfortably atop his throne, one leg over the other, your chin resting in your palm as you lean against the armrest. And he, sitting down on his knees at your feet, gazing up at you with unbridled adoration.

A cold look of fake indifference plastered itself upon your face as you leer down at your horned husband. Slitted eyes gaze back up at you, nothing but love and the desire to serve swirling in those gorgeous green eyes of his. He was being obedient, sitting back and waiting for your command.

“Hm, is there something you want, Malleus? You’re staring at me like I’m the last bowl of ice cream in the fridge.”

His expression brightened at your acknowledgment, scooting ever so slightly closer, hands still remaining firmly on his knees. His tail tip wagged slowly in building excitement.

“You, my love. I want you. Only you. Please, if I may, can I pleasure you once more?”

You snort at that.

Such a poetic sap he is. Speaking about you as if you were some fine jewel to be added to his growing hoard. You roll your eyes and sigh out a soft, “I suppose.” making his tail pick up in speed.

You shifted in your seat, moving to push aside your silken, black robe and pull your undergarments down, revealing your now unclothed dick and balls. You were semi-hard, his earlier words having more of an effect on you than you’re willing to admit, let alone acknowledge.

“You may worship my cock like you have done so many times before, but only with your mouth and tongue. You keep those hands away from me or else.”

“Yes, my dear prince. I won’t. Only my mouth shall serve my loveliest briar rose.”

“Good, good. Now, get to it.”

You lean back and watch as the mighty king of Briar Valley, royal fae who all fearfully respected, stuck out his tongue and began to lap at a mere human’s cock like some common brothel whore. His long, darkened tongue licked along the sides and underside, starting from the base and moving all the way to the tip.

You let out a long, blissful sigh as you felt your dick start to harden more under his ministries, his mouth sucking and kissing at the hot flesh. Malleus enjoyed the sounds you were making and worked to get more out of you.

He’d kiss and lick all the way up to the tip before wrapping his lips around your red, swollen head, and suck. He’d suck and hum in delight, sending vibrations throughout your length, making you leak precum directly into his awaiting maw. He began to swirl his tongue around the head and slit, forked tongue gathering as much of your precious cream as he could to swallow and savor.

Malleus could never get enough of anything you had to offer him, cum included.

“Mmmalleus… Oh, you’re doing such a good job…Aah~ Keep that up.”

Your praise fueled and prompted him to go further. Now he started to gently bob his mouth against your length, still sucking and lapping away. He wanted to take in as much of you as possible, to swallow you whole and gift you with all the sweet pleasures you so rightfully deserved from him.

You moaned louder as you felt your cock hit the back of his throat, walls squeezing around you as he gagged slightly. In his eagerness to please, he failed to properly prepare himself to take you. Your blurry eyes started to flutter closed, and you chuckled to yourself at your lover’s desperate mistake.

He attempted to correct himself while still sucking you off without interruption, making you purr in sadistic glee. He knew better than to stop over his own discomfort. No, he would never put his own comfort of yours, too desperate to keep you happy and moaning.

So, you let him, merely relaxing in your seat while he choked on your dick like a good cock-hungry slut. You let out a sigh and continued to focus on the tight, warm mouth you were fucking.

But your eyes suddenly shot back open when you realized a pair of soft, smooth hands were gently stroking your balls in just the right way that you liked. Your panting increased as he cupped the swollen sacks of flesh, rubbing his thumb pads along them and making them tighten and flex.

But as much as you enjoyed getting your balls fondled, you don’t enjoy how Malleus disobeyed you. Just as he started to use his sharp claws to softly graze along the sensitive flesh, you leaned forward to slap his hands away, sending him a stern glare.

“Hey! What did I say about keeping your filthy hands to yourself?! Mouth and tongue only!”

Malleus startled but obeyed. Keeping his hands off of you and slipping your length out of him so he could bow in apology. You continued to scowl down at him and crossed your arms angrily.

“Use your tail to wrap around your arms and keep them secured behind your back. Disobey me again and I won’t allow you to touch me, at all, for a whole month. Understood, Malleus?”

His eyes widened ever so slightly in worry, but nodded his head in understanding, nonetheless.

“Yes, my love. Please, forgive me…” He said, doing as you ordered and secured his tail around his arms behind his back, preventing him from using them any further.

You huff at his sad apology and roll your eyes. Still a bit tiffed, you promptly grabbed at one of his horns, holding it in a vice grip and forcefully shoved his face into your heavy, round balls. The sudden movement caught him off guard as he was met with the sweet, musky scent of your cum-filled balls.

“Since you seem to be so interested in them, then why don’t you put that mouth of yours to good use and lavish them? I might just be willing to forgive you then, my sweet, slutty king.~”

The fae inhaled your scent, the smell of you making his head spin and mouth water. Your grip didn’t let up so he had no other choice but to do as you requested and started lapping at the full orbs. You hummed in approval as his wet, warm tongue worked their magic.

“That’s it, just cover them in your messy drool. Disobedient dragons should atone for their naughty behavior.~”

Malleus moaned, maw giving open-mouthed kisses to the swollen pair. Your scent was filling his nostrils as he sucked on one of the meaty spheres, your large, leaking member resting atop his head.

“Mmm, you taste so divine my love. So sweet and lovely.~ I can’t… help myself…”

Your husband was moaning against you, lost in the euphoria your aroma brought. The sight alone caused a spike of satisfaction to shoot right to your growing ego… and dick. Causing it to twitch and pulse with the need to cum.

So, as much as you were enjoying watching him make a pathetic fool of himself, you still wanted to move things along already. You were getting impatient and he seemed too balls deep to do so himself.

“Alright, that’s enough of that. I want you back to sucking me off, mouth stuffed with my cock.”

You shoved his head away from you, startling him once more from your rough, abrupt nature.

“Now, open up, Mal~” You cooed.

He barely had parted his lips when you suddenly grabbed both horns firmly in your hands and shoved his head all the way down onto your length, forcing yourself into his mouth and down his throat in one swift motion.

The fae’s eyes widened as he gagged from the sudden intrusion, trying to accommodate for the newfound size taking up all of his space.

“MPH! Mm..!”

“Haah, you take me so nicely Malleus, as always. How does that feel, hm? Finally getting what you wanted you needy, little tart? Do I taste good shoved down your throat? Because you sure as hell feel wonderful around my cock.~”

“Mmmph, mm…”

You could see his eyes water at the corners over the strain in his mouth. While he may be struggling to gather his bearings, you knew all too well how much Malleus was enjoying your whole dick in his mouth again, able to taste and smell you so intensely.

His back even arching slightly, body trembling in some places. He was incredibly aroused right now and no doubt his own pair of dick and balls were just bursting to be set free and touched too.

You chuckle and release one hand to push back his bangs and reveal his patterned scales underneath.

“Oh, does that feel good Malleus? I bet it does. I bet that empty, little head of yours is now being filled with nothing but the thoughts of me and what you’d want to do with me, huh? Such a needy, hungry thing you are.~”

You crooned down at him, affectionately running your fingers over the scales, earning a muffled moan from him. You continued your petting, gently scratching your nails at the spot, making his eyes flutter and roll back in pure euphoric, lovesick bliss.

It truly was a sight to behold.

The very ruler of Briar Valley, a proud and powerful dragon fae, renowned for his skills in magic, on his knees for a mere human. The Malleus Draconia, slobbering on the dick of a much weaker and magicless pheasant, and doing so with such submission and reverence!

The thought alone had you grinning down at him, watching his shameful display of swallowing your whole length down as you used his horns as leverage to thrust into him rhythmically. You listened to the sweet sounds of his muffled moans mixed with the slick noise of his saliva and your precum dripping passed his lips.

You sped up your pace once you felt your approaching orgasm reaching its peak. Having long since lost your patience and just wanting to cum already, you focused solely on getting to your release.

And release you did. With a final shudder and the sudden feeling of your body and balls tightening up, your member finally squirted out all that built up emission. Ribbons of hot, creamy cum shot directly down Malleus’ throat, making him gag and struggle to gulp it all down, some still slipping past his dark lips and drip down his chin.

You slipped your still twitching length out of him, using your slick and his saliva to jerk yourself off in order to get every last remaining drop out of you and into his awaiting mouth.

“Keep your mouth open for me. That’s it, nice and wide. Show me that lovely, long tongue of yours. And make sure to swallow every, last, drop.~”

Obeying, he kept his mouth nice and wide for you, sticking his white-stained tongue out and catching any stray drops you oh so graciously gifted him. And once you were all through, he closed his mouth to swallow it all up, savoring the salty-sweet flavor of your essence.

“Good boy.~ You’re just as good at following orders as you are giving them.”

Malleus crooned under your praise; a deep rumble one could mistake for a purr reverberated from his chest. The dragon’s brain was near mush by this point, thoughts of only you rolling around in there. Your taste was still lingering on his tongue and scent wafting in the air, making his head even heavier with the presence of you. It was all so overwhelming yet not unwelcome.

“Oh Malleus~”

At the sound of your sweet voice calling to him, Malleus broke out of his thoughts to give you his full, undivided attention once more.

Only to be met with the sight of you with your back turned to him, body leaning over the throne, and ass in full view, swaying slowly back and forth as to tease him. A lazy smirk and lidded eyes were present on your face.

“Aren’t you forgetting something? I’m not finished being spoiled yet, my king.~”

In a sudden fit of excitement, the fae quickly stood up, untangling his tail from his arms and rushed to remove his own member from his attire in order to spoil you some more.

You let out an unimpressed ‘tsk’ and stopped him before he could go any further and attempt to stick it in you before being properly prepared first. Malleus was no small fellow, after all.

“Ah ah ah, I wasn’t referring to your member, Malleus. I was referring to that sinful tongue of yours.~”

Emphasizing your point, you placed both hands on either side of your tight hole and spread it open, making it wink at your aghast lover.

Malleus halted his previous ministries, licking his lips in lust-filled hunger. Seems like you were making the dragon work for it and wanted him to almost grovel at your feet. And grovel he will, because the moment the wafting scent of your sweet musk reached his nostrils, he was done for.

Immediately returning to his previous position on his knees, Malleus leaned forward to inhale as much of your scent before diving in. And just like with your previous spoiling, he had no scruples with lavishing your hole with his tongue.

You let out pleased sounds with each lap of his dark tongue along your tight ring. Each one opening up the puckered hole more and sending a buzzing feeling throughout your body. The feeling making you let out a satisfied, shaky sigh.

“Such an eager pleaser, aren’t you, Malleus?~” You mused.

The dragon hummed affectionately, sending vibrations that had you moaning and leaning into his touch. His whorish nature only made you chuckle more as you decided that you had also run out of patience and would now move on to the main course.

You turned around and shoved him away, earning a confused growl from the dragon. You simply stood up and gestured for him to sit on the now unoccupied throne. He did so, still confused but still eager to carry out any orders you have for him.

With a grin and now thoroughly prepared hole, you moved aside his robes to reveal his thick, neglected cock, then smoothly made your way into Malleus’s lap. He instinctually placed both hands onto your sides, claws digging slightly into your supple skin. Your ass was rubbing up against his throbbing member, sending his mind into a frenzy.

You looked up at him with lidded eyes, a knowing, seductive smile on your face. You could feel his tip leaking and dick twitch, just begging to fill you up. You gave him one quick, fleeting kiss under his jaw before you, finally, and ever so slowly, sunk yourself down fully onto his awaiting cock.

The sensation had the fae sighing in relief. A deep rumble sounded from his chest once more and you started to tentatively move your hips.

“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you, Malleus?”

“Yes, my love! I’ve been waiting ever since you first sat down on my throne and demanded I began pleasuring you. I only want to pleasure you my precious briar rose.~”

You rolled your eyes at that, but still kept that same smile.

“Just be a good boy for me now. Behave. No moving or thrusting back. Just sit here while I bounce on this slutty cock of yours. Or else I’ll leave you dry and needy without a second thought.” You playfully threaten, wrapping your arms around his neck as support while you bounced in his lap.

Your lover heard you loud and clear and nodded his head in understanding. He rested his face in the crook of your neck as you bounced vicariously on his dick. He’ll be good for you, he promises.

“Mm, I know you will. Such a greedy dragon, after all. Wanting nothing but my cock, my hole, my attention.”

He crooned at your words, letting out a huff that sent a small, dark cloud puffing from his nostrils. You gently pat his head, keeping a slow, steady rhythm as he desperately restrained himself, shoving himself further against your neck to breath in as much of your scent as possible.

Your fingers slid into his silky locks once more, this time, more tenderly. You lovingly played with his hair as he grew closer and closer to his ineffable climax, soaking up as much of you as he possibly could. And yet, you still took it slow, ceasing your movements whenever you felt he was about ready to burst, and then continuing when he had calmed down. You repeated this cycle until you were ready to allow him to cum.

After all, you planned to savor this moment and milk it, and him, for all its worth.

[laneaconite]

Dandelions

On tiny hands and knees I would clamber through the grass, Sent questing for a bounty of coins to carry. Their blossoms open at daybreak to make Golden offerings to the bees Who bumble amongst them, Pollen clinging to their knees.

I’d pick them a handful at a time, Gracelessly, bringing grasses and insects interlopers. Momma said let them grow. Let them grow, but rip them out Before they can go to seed, sending Fragile floating messengers to billow Gently through the air.

My hands were sticky, tips of my Fingers stained bright orange-yellow. Time passed over me like bath water: The day was hot, until it wasn’t, Bright, until it wasn’t. One glowing green moment separated from the next, And dusk called the sun to bed. Any hidden blossom closed for its protection, nycinastically.

At last I made my offering at the doorstep, Two big bright orange buckets—full to the brim— No, overflowing. The dandelions wept white ichor into my hands, A defense mechanism, Fruitless against a zealous child. At the doorstep, she glared in misunderstanding, She said, I picked too many, I picked Too many.

An argument is irresistible even to my swindler, but The door pulled closed with a slam. And I wondered how to have rollicked Correctly, how to have picked the Right number, some sweet spot between Two and three thousand, a perfect tithe. How else could I deserve that recompense? How to be a good child? How to fill that niche? I stared at nothing but my eyes Swam with ants, spiders, and bees.

-Lane Aconite, April 15th, 2023

[adair-the-bard]

I'm finishing an essay for school which is due in 40 hours, but also I feel like I'm very disconnected from whether it makes sense. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I've finished my first draft, would anyone care to read it and tell me if it's intelligible lol

[nonbinaryeye]

It is a Christmas tradition for me at this point to spend 24th by finishing fanfic for my partner...

[icezansky]

continuously inflicting mental and emotional damage on myself with this fic can't wait til the rest of yall have to cope with it too<3

[oops-ibrokereality]

.

[papercorgiworld]

A good morning

Draco, Mattheo, Enzo, Theo and Blaise

Alternatively: It’s like breakfast in bed and heaven to you. And not in the sweet way, but in the smutty way.

Based on this lovely request, I bring you pure porn, no plot. Warning: oral f!receiving, munch alarm!

Writing smut for five guys, a total of 3000+ words of pure porn, sheerly focused on eating you out, is not something I’ll be doing again anytime soon. As fun as this was to write it was seriously brain wrecking. Soo much smuttt! I really hope you enjoy this one!! Happy readings! Enjoy your boyfriends being good boys.

Read ‘Another good morning’, where you return the favour to our Slytherin boys.

Draco

Draco had been an ass to you the night before and he knew it. As soon as he woke up and saw your sleeping figure, guilt washed over him. You were too good for him and you had proven it to him yet again by being understanding and forgiving, while all he did was complain.

Merlin, why can’t I treat her right. He snuggles close to you and lets his hand wander over your body. He places a soft kiss on your shoulder and can’t keep himself from sliding his hand under your night dress. When your still half asleep figure wiggles closer to him and a content smile starts to tug on your lips, Draco feels like he's on to something. Maybe he could still treat you right.

Calm but at the same time burning with eagerness he moves the sheets and pushes your dress up. He starts kissing your thighs, just near your panties, and his hands slide to your ass. “(Y/n), sweetie, move for me.” He whispers and gently lifts your hips to fully take off the piece of lingerie. “Draco?” You murmur as you feel him undress you. He shushes you. “Let me please you.” He whispers and you feel his breath between your legs. For a moment your eyes flutter open, but as soon as you feel him pepper your pussy with kisses you close your eyes allowing yourself to fully enjoy this moment of bliss without asking questions.

He wants to be a true gentleman and doesn’t waste time teasing, but also doesn’t move too quickly. He needs you to enjoy every movement of his tongue as he fucks you with his mouth. He snakes an arm around your waist and starts to move more rapidly sending waves of pleasure through your body. You desperately breathe his name as his tongue circles your sensitive spot. When your moans turn into whimpers Draco’s hunger for you grows. “Let me taste more of you, please (y/n).” Draco was rarely this soft and needy for you and you had forgotten how weak you were for his pleading voice.

You were so close and when Draco starts pushing his face into your pussy like a madman you climax and your hand reaches for his hair. With your fingers entangled in his hair he continues to feast on you as you enjoy your high. “What was that all about?” You murmur still coming down from your orgasm as Draco lays down next to you. He cups your cheek and his thumb caresses your blushed face. “Good girlfriends deserve good mornings.” A content smirk tugs on his lips as he admires your beauty. “I could wake up next to you for the rest of my life.” He confesses with his eyes glued to yours. You smile and snuggle closer to him. “Are you going to be between my legs every morning?” You nudge your nose against his with a playful smile. He kisses you long and passionately. “If that’s what the lady wants then that’s what the lady will have.”

Mattheo

Due to his absence during class Slughorn had left Mattheo’s name off of his selected list, which meant that he had to sit out the next dinner party. Nothing Mattheo normally would care about, but he really wanted to spend some time with you. Also, you weren’t too pleased with him either, because Slughorn’s parties were much more enjoyable with Mattheo present. So, Mattheo had promised to meet you in your room after the party.

Catching Mattheo in a romantic mood was rare, but it happened. Candles, music, drinks and snacks. He had it all prepared, but it had been a long day and you stayed away a little longer. When you finally did return to your room no apologies for your delay were necessary since Mattheo had fallen asleep. Exhausted yourself you had changed and joined him in your bed. A very sleepy Mattheo welcomed you in his arms. “There’s my pumpkin.” Is all he had muttered, before drifting back to sleep.

The next morning, however, Mattheo cursed himself. He really wanted to spend time with you. You were the first person he had ever loved so intensely and you were like air, he needed you. Frustrated with himself Mattheo decides to get out of bed, but as soon as he leaves you start to move, looking for his warmth. He watches you with adoring eyes and it takes him a moment to notice the sheets have left you rather exposed.

Scanning up your thighs, he bites his lip as his eyes stick to your panties. Really, just that lacy thing between me and your wonderful pussy. Fuck, princess. Gently his fingers move over your legs as he settles between them. He places a featherlight kiss on your bellybutton and looks up to see if you’re still asleep. With his eyes locked on your blissful face his lips brush down from your navel to your panties. As his lips move down, he simultaneously lowers your panties.

You slightly stir in your sleep and your boyfriend looks up at you with a mischievous grin. “Don’t worry, love, I’m going to be good.” His husky voice soothes you, but a part of you registers his breath on your bare pussy. However, you’re too sleepy to fully process what he’s up to. Now that your panties are low enough you’re finally exposed and Mattheo places a soft kiss on his target. His grip on your thighs thightens, making you more aware of his whereabouts. “Mattheo?” You whine still half asleep, making him smirk. Slowly you’re starting to realize that Mattheo has partly undressed you and your eyes start to flutter.

He’s so horny for you, he feels himself get rock hard and doesn’t waste any more time. His tongue enters you without any teasing, just hunger, and he eagerly presses his face between your legs. Your eyes fling open and your hand instinctively reaches down, grabbing a handful of Mattheo’s hair. You gently tug his curls as your body tenses in reaction to the suddenness of his actions. However, Mattheo ignores your soft grip on his hair and even pushes his face deeper in between your legs, showing you his eagerness. With your mouth slightly agape, the first desperate sounds leave your lips. Instead of tugging on his hair you gently move your fingers over his skull, telling him how well he’s doing. When his tongue starts moving over your sensitive spot you buck your hips his way. “Please.” You manage to whine between moans.

Just hearing your needy voice and tasting you has Mattheo’s dick covered with precum. Gonna have to fucking marry this one. His hands move to your butt, squeezing it like he owns your body. “Mah-Maath.” You try to cry his name but you can’t make a proper sound as you come on his tongue. Mattheo now fully stains his pants as he feels your body tense and relax under his touch. “Was that last sound supposed to be my name?” He chuckles as he wipes his soaked mouth with the back of his hand. You sigh content, exhausted and slightly annoyed with his mockery. He crawls over you and gives you a soft kiss on your cheek. "Good morning, love.” You huff. “Don’t ever do that again.” You breath out, he had you feeling too many emotions at once and you felt like you would never recover. Mattheo looks at you confused, you no doubt enjoyed what he had done, but before he can say anything you wrap your arms around him and pull him close. He answers your non-verbal request for a snuggle and hides his face in the crook of your neck, kissing you.

“I love you.” You say and you feel your boyfriend’s smile on your skin. He pushes himself up to look at you, before kissing tenderly. With his lips still lingering on you, he whispers. “I love you more.”

Lorenzo

You had told him he was in for a big surprise. You had repeated it just this morning, but his mind hadn’t registered it since it was match day. Now you entered his room and he was vast asleep. So much for waiting up for me. Fine. Your loss Berkshire. You didn’t put in any effort to wake him up, knowing that he would regret falling asleep in the morning when he would notice how little you were wearing.

The next morning a still sleepy Enzo snuggled up to you, his hands roaming around your figure. Suddenly his eyes go wide, pupils dilating. He noticed you were still sleeping, so he carefully moved the sheets to reveal you were only wearing a lace top that left nothing to the imagination and didn’t cover your lower half at all.

Enzo pushes himself up to take in the full view. How did I miss out on this. Lorenzo feels himself get unwell as he forgets to breathe. She’s going to be mad and I’m probably not getting any of this for two weeks. His hand softly traces over your hips and naked ass. His eyes fall from your peaceful sleeping face to your beautiful pussy and his sneaky Slytherin side kicks in. Maybe if I just quickly dig in, like a last meal, she can’t take away that which I’ve already had.

Slightly worried he might get himself in more trouble he chews his lips, but his body is already moving to quietly take position between your legs. Very careful not to wake you he moves under the sheets, not really caring about air, all he needed at the moment was you. Getting more and more eager his hands move over your legs spreading them wider, slightly waking you up. “Enzo?” You whisper as you blink a few times, but before you can fully figure out Enzo’s plan you feel his mouth on your folds. His wet and eager tongue slides over and through your folds, sending shivers down your spine. “Wha-ah are you-?” You whine softly as pleasure washes over you.

“I thought that was obvious.” His teasing words vibrate on your saliva covered pussy and your hands grip tight on the sheets, as your boyfriend immediately continues to work miracles with his mouth. “Oh Merlin.” You say before feeling your body fill with ecstasy. “Come on, baby, move for me.” Enzo demands with a surprising neediness in his voice and you happily oblige softly rocking your hips. His tongue starts working on your clit and he sucks your juices like a starved man. While one hand firmly digs into the flesh of your thigh, he can’t help but snake one hand in his pants. Enzo catches himself quietly moaning against your soaking cunt. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” He says like you’re the one that’s to blame for the situation you're both in. You arch your back and your fingers grip tighter on the sheets, he really had no right to complain. You were barely awake and you could already feel your orgasm building up.

“Enzo, I’m so-close.” You moan and you feel Enzo’s grip on you tighten. “Me too.” He breathes and returns to play with your sensitive clit. It’s then that you realise that not only is he fucking you with his tongue he’s also working his hard cock. Your mouth falls open and your moaning gets louder as your thoughts wander to his hard member. You throw your head back and cry out his name loud enough to wake up his friends in the next room. Enzo moves the sheets so he can watch you orgasm as he jerks himself. Aside from your own soaking mess you quickly feel Enzo spilling himself on you. He’s making such a mess of things. But the view of your pretty boyfriend enjoying his own high makes up for a lot.

After a moment he comes down, hovering over you and resting on his elbows. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for falling asleep last night.” He gives you a soft peck on the lips and watches you with a guilty smile. “Also, this is what happens if you don’t wear panties.” You chuckle. “Good morning to you too.”

Theodore

Your relationship with Theo was still young and even though you immediately felt like you had been together since forever, there were still a few things you weren’t used to, like his appetite for you. He was all about sex, but aside from the main dish he liked to snack as well. At midnight at a party he would drag you to the bathroom and fall on his knees to get under your dress. Or pull you into a broom closet in between classes to get under your skirt. And now as he woke up it was the first thing that came to his mind as well.

Time to get the smartest girl to repeat my name like it’s the only word she knows. “Good morning, gorgeous.” His husky voice whispers in your ear, but it sounds distant since you're still vast asleep. He chuckles when he only gets a soft murmur from you in return. He places a kiss on your shoulder, before moving down and pulling up your shirt to kiss your belly. “Why are you wearing clothes? You know I don’t like that.” You’re slowly waking up, but still manage to mutter something that sounds like his name. “Let's get rid of some.” He announces and quickly works down your shorts and panties.

As soon as your cunt is exposed to him he’s on it. Roughly crashing his lips on your pussy, gripping your thighs. Surprised you jerk away, but immediately feel your hips be pulled back. “I’m busy here.” Theo’s raspy voice warns, before kissing your pussy and sliding his tongue through your folds. “Theodore?” You’re baffled at your boyfriend’s new morning greeting. Had you been dating the wrong guys before or was Theo just one of a kind. He eagerly starts eating you out, pulling your hips into his face. What the fuck. You mouth to the ceiling as your eyes roll back. You can barely wrap your head around what you’re feeling, and this early in the morning.

By now you had figured out what Theo loved so much. It wasn’t just the taste of you, it was you whining his name like a needy girl. So you purposely keep quiet as long as possible. This was clearly starting to frustrate the slytherin as he became rougher. Rocking your hips hard and sucking and licking at your cunt like it was his birthright. Your breaths get unstable and you can no longer keep quiet. You try to tell yourself that no other woman would’ve been able to stay silent as long as you did and give in to the pleasure, moaning. Now Theo has all he wanted, except that you aren’t singing his name yet. He moves your legs wider, making you arch your back and grip your pillow tight. As he starts sucking your clit you get squirmy and he expects his name to roll over your lips any moment now, but you do more than just that. “I love you. Theo, I love you.” You pant and he slows down a little to watch you intensely.

His heart squeezes for a moment at your love confession. His arms sneak up to hold your figure and he moves away from your throbbing and soaked cunt to place a sweet kiss just above your navel. “I love you too.” He admits just above a whisper with his eyes on yours. You bite your lip at the wonderful sight. “Now, be good for me and cum.” His tongue mercilessly works on your sensitive nub and you softly cry his name as your eyes get watery due to all the sensations building up. Your body jerks at your release and you reach for his hand, entangling your fingers with his. You continue to whine his name, enjoying your high, while Theo overstimulates your poor pussy. Only when he decides you’ve both had enough he detaches his mouth and lays down next to you with a blissful smile. “I thought you weren’t a morning person?” You question and roll on your side to watch him, your mind still hazy from your orgasm. He chuckles and his eyes roll to you. “Never had a breakfast like this before.” You hide your smile and snuggle against him.

Blaise

Blaise wasn’t the jealous type, but apparently his friends had been teasing him about how ridiculously beautiful you were and you complimenting Theodore’s flying skills after the game had flipped a switch in him. He ignored you for an hour and then he took you to his room to prove to you that no other man could please you like he could. Having you cry his name would remind everyone you were his and several orgasms would surely make you forget about Theo’s flying skill. The next morning Blaise wraps his arms around your sleeping figure. “Good morning, love of my life.” You hear him whisper and you smile, but are still too sleepy to respond.

Not satisfied with the lack of response Blaise licks his lips and scans your body. The sheets were barely covering you and the only garment you were wearing was one of his shirts. Truly a sight. I’m so lucky to have her. Blaise bites his lip and slowly hoovers over you. Have to make sure she’ll never think about leaving. He kisses your cheek and his hand pushes up the shirt you’re wearing. “You’re my pretty girl, you know that right?” He whispers and you make a soft sleepy sound, making him chuckle. “Okay, sleepyhead.” His hand gently strokes over your thigh and his eyes sink to your pussy. His thumb softly moves over your folds and you murmur something inaudible. “I love you, princess.” You hear him whisper as you feel his lips brush over your hips and thighs, leaving sloppy kisses near your entrance. Your eyes open and roll to your boyfriend in between your legs. The next moment he looks up to you, you lock eyes with him while his mouth is just an inch removed from your entrance.

“May I?” He asks innocently and your eyes roll back. “Please.” You whine already feeling yourself get wetter at the idea, but still in a sleepy state. Teasingly slow his open mouth brushes over your pussy, earning a whimper from you while part of your brain still isn’t fully awake. This man, what had gotten into him? He had some serious explaining to do. His hand presses on your tummy to keep you from squirming as his tongue makes his way to your sensitive spot rushing a jolt of pleasure through your body. You feel yourself get needy for more of him and softly buck your his, making him smile against your wetness. “So pretty.” His mouth doesn’t leave your folds and he starts moving his face into you with hunger, soaking his mouth and chin with your juices. You softly bite your finger to keep yourself from screaming as you feel yourself closing in on your orgasm. “I’m-“ Your words turn into incoherent moans and your hand grips his hand keeping you in place, making him look up to you as he eats your pussy with shiny eyes. He admires your beauty as you moans fall quiet when you cum for him.

Panting, you come down from your high and watch Blaise crawl over you through hooded eyelids. “What did I do to wake up like this?” You ask through unsteady breaths, making him smirk and kiss you. “Just being my girl.” He pulls you into a hug, letting you enjoy the aftermath of your morning orgasm on his chest.

[running-with-kn1ves]

Can you make something for a yandere masochist? Smut please

A/N: Working on all the reqs in my inbox, I just don't have much time to write! No pressure but donations always help if yall want your requests written faster!

CW: Noncon/Dubcon, yandere themes, kidnapping, threats, Sub! Masochistic yandere, aggressive-ish reader, NSFW

Synopsis: You find yourself kidnapped by your shy boyfriend who claims he's going to "take care of you."

Word Count: 3000 -- Tags ^^: @moonlight-melanin

If someone had told you that your meek nerd of a boyfriend would be the one to ever kidnap you, you probably would have laughed in their face. Your boyfriend who trips over every sidewalk crack? Your boyfriend who needs your help opening a water bottle? Your boyfriend, who begs for you to wrap your hand around his neck and worships the ground you walk on, no matter how hard you protest?

 No way in hell. 

Except, the utter blasphemy that was such an idea, was true. It was only a few nights ago that you found yourself bound by your hands and feet to a familiar bed. Your boyfriend, Rex, vaguely explained that he was "protecting you", and "keeping you away from bad people!” 

You came to the conclusion that the harm that he was supposedly protecting you from, was most likely your overly friendly coworkers and demanding job. Who knew a 9 to 5 could be so dangerous? Clearly your boyfriend. However, his ridiculous behavior didn’t falter no matter how many times you tried to convince him, no matter how many threats or bribes you threw his way. 

Sometimes he’d be nearly swayed, but something in his mind always snapped back, telling you that its alright if you despise him, if you follow out with your threats; as long, as he got to keep you safe. 

For how obedient and eager to please he was, you never realized how stubborn he could be. But unfortunately for what he had in stubbornness, he lacked in wit and authority. He always fell into your hands when it came to you offering physical affection as a secretive ploy to try and escape; not to mention, he wasn’t very good at keeping his hostages tied up.

By the third night of your capture, you managed to slip your moist hands out of the loose, steel handcuffs. Digging an old pen into the large hole of the chain cuff wrapped around your ankle, you wiggled it around to find that sweet spot that would release you. You were grateful for being able to reach the bedside drawer, finding a multitude of tools within it that helped you including the pen that was once yours, and some lotion that made your palms slick enough to slip out of the handcuffs. While you were grateful for their presence nearby, you didn’t want to know why they were close to the bed in the first place. 

You continued to roughly wiggle the pen, not hearing any clicks or cracks within the lock that would signify your release. The chain around your ankle wouldn't budge at all. At some point along the way with all your jamming of it into the lock’s hole, the pen got stuck. 

“No no no,” You whispered, trying to tug the pen out. You pulled as hard as you could, to no avail as ink began to stain your fingers. 

Well, your kidnapper would certainly notice that. 

You looked around, feeling incredibly anxious now that you were only halfway free, aware that it'd be unlikely that you got to keep this little escape trial to yourself. Though, the freedom of your hands made you feel more powerful than you had in days.

But the quick and excited footsteps outside of the bedroom door made your stomach sink. They drew closer, only stopping to fill the silence with a rapid knock to the door. Beads of sweat rolled down your neck as your dry mouth swallowed; with shaking fingers, you covered up your hands and feet under the bed comforter. 

‘Just keep them under the blanket, and he won’t notice…’

The door opened shortly after the knock, not waiting for you to respond. In came your Rex, your boyfriend-slash-kidnapper. He clammed up with a tenseness as you scowled. You brought back your signature glare that you looked at him with during the days of your capture; he seemed to shrink into himself as you didn't break eye contact. 

"Did… you like dinner? He asked, looking at your plate on the bedside table. Eyeing the plate with a frown, Rex shut the door behind him. He walked closer to your place on the bed, inspecting the plate. 

"You've hardly eaten anything since…"

"Since you kidnapped me?"

He went silent. Avoiding your judgemental stare.

"You know I'm just trying to keep you safe…" He said meekly, not fond of your cold behavior. 

"I don't want to talk, Rex. Just leave." You snarl.

 Folding your arms you turn away and focus your attention on the setting sun outside the window, reminding you that once again you'll be here for another night… another day here when you wake up. 

Rex sits down on the bed next to you, his mop of curly black hair covering his desperate face. He wouldn't be able to take it if you played the silent treatment with him-- even when you were angry like this, he'd rather suffer your wrath than hear the empty silence of his endless thoughts, keeping your sweet lips shut so tightly. 

"Please," he gripped the blankets atop your legs, trying to find a place to touch you. "I'm just doing what a boyfriend should do, don’t you get that? Why can't you understand me?"

You continued to stay silent, hearing Rex gulp as he realized you were serious in keeping your mouth shut. 

He began to grow antsy… there was a feeling of isolation in how he couldn't see all of your face as you kept your gaze to the window, how he couldn't even hold your hand or see your body beneath the mass of blanket. 

"Come on, don’t be like that…” 

Rex rolled his tongue over his teeth, gripping harder onto the sheets. His hand shakes as it reaches for yours, desperately hoping you wouldn’t tug away. 

Once he feels your arm go limp, he wastes no time in bringing it up to his cheek, hoping to feel some sort of warmth from you. Rex presses his cheek into your fingers, finding a sliver of relief in how warm and tender you feel against him. He’s hardly had the luxury of such affection since you were huddled up in his apartment. 

You don’t dare to look at the man, debating whether interrupting him or continuing to let him nuzzle would alert him faster on the fact that your handcuffs were gone. 

You didn’t have much time to think when you suddenly felt him go still, a newfound grip on your hand. He squeezed with thick fingers, the lovelust gone from his touch.

You turn to look at Rex, finding that you could not see his eyes beneath his hair and shadowed glasses. He shifted from crushing your fingers to choking your wrist, panic setting into your body. 

Rex looked up, far more quiet than you were expecting. You began to twist your arm, trying to pull it away as he bore into you. You knew the guy was odd when you first started dating, and was clearly deranged after this kidnapping fiasco-- but you never saw it clearer until now. His eyes seemed to sink into his skin as his face drained of all color. He looked almost sick, like someone hungry to hurt without any remorse. Rex’s blunt nails dug into your skin as you started to tug away roughly; his hunched body was like a feral animal ready to strike. 

Seeing as he already found out about your escape attempt, you decided it wasn’t worth wasting this chance. Maybe you could knock him down a few before he managed to get you chained up again, giving you more time before he did who knows what. 

“These arms are awfully bare.” His monotonous voice uttered. 

Rex pressed on the bruises on your wrist of where the handcuffs dug into, his eyes glazing over as you grunted in pain. Still, you fought. You brought your other arm to try and pull off his fingers, only for Rex to shift on the bed and force himself upon you. His sharp knees dug into the sides of your thighs, pulling your other arm off of him as he laid them both beside your head, against the pillows. For being quite frail and shy, he had far more strength in his desperation than you expected. You could see that he was giving his all, only tearing up momentarily when your fingers scratch him or your elbow rams into his nose. 

Within the tussle Rex managed to find the handcuffs, of which you only hid underneath the blankets beside you. Every time you tried to heighten your knees to push him off, Rex pressed deeper, bruising your skin and making you bite your lip in frustration and pain. His loose clothes and your mess of blankets made it hard to find a grip in pushing him off.

Rex pulled the cuffs up, shakily and forcefully wrapping them upon your wrists. Pulling them over the bedpost, he watched as you struggled to get out of them. But he didn’t look down at you with a smirk or a sadistic grin-- Instead, it appeared to be relief. 

Your boyfriend lowered himself to your chest as he went limp, his previous expression void of emotion except for stunned shock, shifted to a tired, nervous frown. 

“I-I don’t do this because I want to, you know.” You burn holes into him with your glare, straining to pull the cuff chain over the bedpost as Rex sat on your torso. “You don’t give me a choice!”

His loose shirt showed the front of his collarbones and the elongated muscles in his neck, the male gulping as he looked guiltily down at your chest. You were sweating from the fear and strain against the tightened metal binds. 

“Fuck off.” You grunt, continuing to tug and pull away from your tethers. 

Rex seemed to get antsy at watching you try to struggle and claw at him. His hips twitched as he moved to sit on your legs, trying to keep you from kicking him off. 

“But…If you keep pulling like that, your bruises will only get worse.” 

“I don’t give a shit.” You snapped, hardly letting him finish. Spitting towards him you continued to fight; that only seemed to spur Rex on. 

He wiggled against your hips, looking down away from you in embarrassment. the male beginning to hold your knees down, his legs wrapped around your left thigh. 

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for us…” He huffed, laying his head down on your chest, and holding onto you. 

“Rex!” You shout angrily at his innaction, trying to knee him as you pushed away from the headboard. 

“I know, I know!” You could feel the hardness inbetween his legs press against your thigh. “You can hate me if you want, can hurt me if it makes you feel better,” He meekly bit his lip with a little grunt, hesitating for a moment before he pushed his hips against your thigh. “But I can’t let you leave.”

Seeing as your struggle didn’t impede his movements, Rex slowly rocked himself against you to apply pressure. He relished in how your knee came up to grace his crotch in a stinging pleasure. You may have done it in an attempt to push him off, but all it managed to do was further Rex’s desire for your brashness, and you.

“I’m yours…” He huffed, pushing his face into the warmth of your chest. His crotch aligned with your hip, adding a new sensation as he humped like a touch-starved, horny animal. “Im yours, I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours I’m--ngh--” 

 Rex bit the collar of your shirt to stop from crying out, his moan muffled into your body as he rocked at a rhythm. In a mix of huffs he lifted his head to search for your eyes and lips. He reached up to collide his lips with yours, pressing his knee between your legs, spreading them just gently. His hands traveled down your chest slowly, hesitantly. He was always waiting for your next move, always soaking in every touch and taste of you that he could. 

You pushed against his lips, turning and ripping your mouth away. 

“I know you want to leave, but maybe I can change your mind,” He looked at you with lovestruck eyes, a growing pleasure within them. “Maybe make you feel good. I’m atleast good at that, right?” He shyly palmed at your crotch, determined and eager to make you cry out in the same desire he was swelling in. 

He just wanted your eyes to be on him. 

Rex continued to grind himself deeper into your upper thigh, wrapping his legs around your side. He released a little pant while traveling cold fingers down your chest, pulling up your shirt to expose your stomach. Reaching between your legs, he licked his lips in anticipation, cupping your sex with his hand ever so gently. 

Shutting his lips he tried to suppress his evident moans, pushing his lips against yours as he begged for an ounce of affection. You in turn, bit his bottom lip in retaliation, pressing up against to get a good clench on his mouth. You hoped it’d be enough to get him off of you, but instead Rex pressed harder, grunting in pained pleasure as he welcomed the ache. The taste of blood was left in your mouth, Rex still leaving sloppy kisses along your nipping lips, drooling as he pushed his slick tongue in your mouth, rubbing it against yours. His glasses seemed to shift downward, making him look even more of a mess.

Even as you pulled at his hair from your restraint position, Rex let out a surprised yelping groan, humping harder into your leg at the newfound pain. 

“Please, I promise to be good…” He begs between wet, one-sided kisses. “ I’ll do whatever you w…want…!” Rex hieghtened his voice with a desperate groan, showing he was close to his climax. 

His frenzied pleas showed the familiar side of the boyfriend you remembered before he kidnapped you: quiet, clingy, and too infatuated for his own good.

You could feel a wet spot of leaked pre-cum on your thigh, Rex’s hand delving under your now unbuttoned pants. 

He was quick to palm your crotch from beneath your underwear, gripping and massaging as he chased his own high, fixated on your scrunched up expression. 

His slightly open mouth drooled against your shirt as he looked up at you, desperate for you to reciprocate some kind of affection or attention. 

Rex’s expression showed he was completely enamored in the moment, with glazed over eyes and a eagerness in his thrusts as his mind solely focused on the pleasure between his weak thighs and getting something-- anything, from you. 

“You’re disgusting.” You say bitterly, grabbing Rex’s hair in another attempt to get him off of you and ruin his high. However, that did neither. 

Rex looked even more turned on, letting out painful moans at feeling you tug multiple times.

“Yes.. hah, please-- use me, do what you want--” You bit down on his shoulder as he pressed the rest of his weight down on you, leaning up to the feeling of your fingers tug. “I love you, ‘love you so much..” 

You demand him to look at you with a tug of his black curls, a small line of blood staining your lips from the hard bite you gave. 

Rex obeyed with pleasure-drunken fervor, drawing the end of his high as he witnessed his blood in your mouth. 

A part of him would always be inside you.

Rex buried his head into your neck as he orgasmed, thrusting hard up against your leg like a rabbit during mating season. Letting out a continuation of unabashed moans, his teeth bit your T-shirt as cum spilled from his release. 

In the moment, Rex had sped up his movements in pleasuring you, digging beneath your underwear to feel the heat of your sex against his hand, leaving you quite dazed yourself, You managed to hid your reaction quite well as Rex was too focused to notice, but now that seemed to shift as he began to relax. 

Rex’s pulsing touch on your crotch slowled as his breathing regulated. Though it became more difficult for you to keep your mouth shut and your face straight as he repeatedly put his thumb against the right set of nerves. 

Your boyfriend’s breath steadied as he watched you release a hitched sigh from your mouth, enjoying the way you looked at him with a dazed glare. Covered in sweat and cum, he was beginning to come down from the high he ached to feel once again. 

“Oh…I’m sorry,” He panted, face flushed and glasses falling to the tip of his nose. “ Was s’pposed to be convincing you, but I got ahead of myself…”

Rex swallowed, adjusting his glasses with the tips of his finger. The male began to quickly fondle beneath your jeans once again, ignoring how you still pushed against the headboard and cried out in frustration. He was slow at first, trying to regain the rhythm; it didn’t take long for him to find that tempo that made your knees weak. 

You felt a numbed pleasure stir between your thighs against your will, trying to toss and turn to make it go away. 

But Rex held you still, planting his weight down on your chest and stroking your heat with skill. He had touched himself so many times to pictures and thoughts of you, but he never imagined this. Even as you scrunched up your face in frustration and annoyance, he saw your teeth scrape at your lip, your hips twitching and your groans drawing out longer than before. 

You desperately clawed at your restraints, avoiding Rex’s hot and heavy stare, of which was so entranced in watching your sweet face change every time a wave of pleasure overcame you. You felt so defeated in the fact that he could tell you were feeling the effects of his touch, how you weren’t completely focused on the idea of escape anymore. 

“M’gonna make you feel so good,” Rex grinned, hazed with the afterglow of his pleasureful release and soaking up the look of undesired arousal in your eyes. 

“Just promise not to give your pleasure, your pain, to anyone else…”

[parkerslatte]

14 and 45 with azriel and it’s really fluffy! Thanks and congratulations 🎉🎉

A/N: tysm for your request! I hope you enjoy :)

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Drunken Kisses

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: none

Summary: It is Azriel’s birthday and Y/N originally wouldn’t be able to spend the day with him. The Inner Circle take him to Rita’s and he gets extremely drunk and Y/N surprises him.

A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist

3000 Follower Celebration

•••

Azriel rarely got drunk, at least to the point of losing control of his body. He didn’t mind getting tipsy from time to time but he could simply have a good time being surrounded by his family. However as Cassian placed another drink in front of him, one that would surely tip him over that edge of being drunk to the point of memory loss, Azriel missed the one person who should have been sitting by his side. 

“Where is Y/N?” Azriel slurred as he sipped his drink. “It’s my birthday, she should be here.”

Amused looks were passed throughout the Inner Circle as Azriel pouted. Y/N had been away at the Summer Court for nearly two months now but Azriel felt like it had been a lot longer. From the moment Y/N went away, Azriel missed her. Ever since the two had gotten together nearly ten years ago, they hadn’t spent too much time apart. 

“I miss her so much,” he whined. “She has never been gone this long before.”

“She’s only been gone two months Az,” Cassian said. “I thought you were meant to be the patient one.”

“I am,” Azriel protested. “But I miss her.” Azriel finished his drink. There was a silent communication within the group to not give the shadowsinger another drink. 

Cassian clapped a hand on Azriel’s shoulder. “It’s your birthday, put a smile on your face!”

Azriel shook his head. “I’ll only put a smile on my face if Y/N sits next to me right now.”

Azriel folded his arms across his chest. His heart hurt from being away from Y/N. When Rhys had sent her to the Summer Court, he begged him to go with her. Rhys refused, Azriel had his own work that he needed to focus on. The day Y/N left, Azriel was the one to bring her to the Summer Court. As soon as they arrived, Azriel refused to let go of her. His arms remained around her waist as he buried his head into the crook of her neck. 

“Please come back with me,” Azriel mumbled into her hair. 

Y/N hugged him tighter. “I can’t, my love. I have to do my job. I wish I could.”

“I will miss you,” Azriel said, resting his forehead against hers.

“I will miss you too,” Y/N said, pressing a kiss against his lips. 

Azriel was ripped out of his own memory as he felt someone sit next to him. He took no interest in who it was as he stared at the empty glass in front of him. Azriel never thought it was possible to miss someone this much. The constant pain in his chest from their separation was something he never wished to experience again. 

“Az, there’s someone who is trying to get your attention,” Feyre said, looking between the shadowsinger and the new presence that had joined their table. 

“I’m not interested,” Azriel grumbled. “If it’s not Y/N, then I don’t care.”

“Then maybe you should actually look for yourself, brother,” Cassian replied. 

As Azriel finally raised his gaze from the empty glass he looked at each face of his family who were simply staring at him in amusement. His gaze drifted around the circle until they landed on the one person he had been talking about all night. 

A goofy smile appeared on Azriel’s face as he looked at Y/N. “You’re here!”

Y/N smiled at her mate, as he reached out to her. She simply moved until she was close enough for him to pull her onto his lap. 

“I missed you so much, my love,” Y/N mumbled, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Happy birthday.”

Azriel’s head nuzzled into her neck as he breathed in her scent. “I love you. Don’t ever leave again.” His words were slurred and quiet. 

With one hand, Y/N ran her fingers through his hair and with her other hand she gently stroked his cheek. 

“When did you get back, Y/N?” Feyre asked, sipping her drink. 

“Only an hour ago,” Y/N responded. “I asked Rhys where all of you were.”

Azriel hugged Y/N closer to him and began to press small kisses against her neck. Y/N simply smiled. 

“Can we go home?” Azriel asked, his lips grazing her ear. “I wanna kiss you so badly. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Y/N replied, pressing a kiss against his forehead. 

Once she pulled away, Azriel pouted. “I wanted to kiss your lips.”

From beside Azriel and Y/N, Cassian laughed. “It’d be best to take him home, Y/N. He’s been like this all night.”

Azriel hand caresses Y/N’s thigh as he begins to pepper kisses across her jaw, completely ignoring Cassian. Y/N intertwined their fingers and squeezed his hand gently. 

“Let’s go home,” Azriel begged. 

Y/N turned back to him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. Azriel practically melted. His mind was solely focussed on Y/N. As her lips pulled away from his, Azriel whined. 

“Come on, let’s go,” Y/N said, slipping from his lap. 

Azriel jumped up from his seat, swaying on his feet as the room spun around him. 

“Good luck, Y/N,” Cassian commented. 

Y/N shoved him playfully as she walked past him. “I will see you all tomorrow.”

“Not likely,” Cassian said. “You’ve been gone two months, I’m sure Azriel will keep you within your bed all day tomorrow.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you all whenever then.”

Azriel gripped onto her hand and tugged her to him. Y/N waved back at her family before being pulled out into the night air. There weren’t many people on the streets, many being home or in the many different bars and pubs in Velaris. 

The couple hadn’t even made it far enough away for the music to be completely inaudible before Azriel pulled Y/N into his arms. Y/N let out a noise of surprise before wrapping her arms around him. 

“I missed you so much, Y/N,” Azriel muttered. His wings encased the two of them, giving them more privacy. “It- it hurts to be away from you.”

Y/N pulled away from the hug and cupped his cheeks. His hazel eyes bore into hers. “It hurt me too, Az. I thought about you every single day.”

“I felt it,” Azriel said, placing a hand over his heart. “I felt all the love you would send my way.”

Y/N rested her forehead against his. “Well I needed to remind you how loved you are.”

A large smile spread across his face before he was surging forward and captured her lips with his own. In his drunken state, he stumbled as he threw himself off balance. Pulling away with a laugh, Y/N rested her hands on his shoulders. “Let’s get back home. We can do all the kissing you want.”

Azriel’s face brightened. “Really? What about anything else?” Y/N rolled her eyes at her insatiable mate. “We can focus on that tomorrow and when you are sober.”

Azriel huffed. “Fine.”

Y/N giggled and wrapped him in one final hug. Azriel had never felt such love before and as soon as he met Y/N, he never wanted to live in a world without it. Every single touch sent his senses into overdrive. He was normally one who could control his emotions well but he could never control them around Y/N. She could always tell exactly what he was feeling at any point. To Azriel, Y/N was his home. Wherever she was, it was where he wanted to be. 

“Your hugs feel like home,” Azriel said. “You feel like home.”

Y/N only held onto him tighter, a feeling of warmth coursing down the bond and Azriel smiled. I deserve this, Azriel thought. I really deserve this. 

“I know you said that I feel like home,” Y/N began, “but can we go to our actual home? It is getting quite cold out and we can go and cosy up by the fire and you will get all of the kisses you want.”

Azriel pulled away and smiled. The smile only Y/N saw. “Then let’s go home, I only wish to be with you all night.”

Y/N pecked his lips. “Happy birthday, Az.”

“You are the greatest gift I have ever received,” Azriel responded, intertwining their fingers together.

[midnightbluebells03]

Good luck babe!

CW - Owen mention, fingering (R receiving), oral (R receiving), hair pulling (A receiving)

Reader is fem, described as wearing a dress and heels.

WC - about 3000

No outbreak

Leave me requests so I can get out my writers block pls and thx xo

If Abby Anderson wasn't in denial of her sexuality, there's a chance you two could've been real. You got along like a house on fire, practically a perfect match. But the mix of comphet, her on and off again relationship of Owen and her crippling fear of being vunrable has left you two like this. Having not talked in just over a month, not a word since your argument about the fact she had been using you as an experiment without considering how you felt. And how did you feel?

Crushed.

Maybe you should know better. But yet again it's a Friday night, your other hook ups weren't out tonight and who else but Abby fucking Anderson was giving you eyes from across the room. Leaning against the bar with a tight black wife beater that makes you drool and matching cargos.

It's the first time you'd seen each other since you screamed in her face and called her selfish. And yet the butterflies in your stomach were boardering on a stampede. Her eyes scanning your body up and down while her hand stays clutching her beer bottle. So tight you're almost worried it'll smash in her unforgiving grasp.

Against your better judgement you decide to ignore the angel on your shoulder, also known as your best friend Ellie. Chugging back your drink and handing her the glass. Starting to make your way over to Abby.

Ellie rolls her eyes and shouts after you. Hardly breaking through the noise. "Don't come crying to me when she breaks your heart again!"

"Cmon Els, it's just some fun" you call back before pushing your way through the crowed dance floor and coming out at the other side. Looking up at those baby blue eyes that make a rush of emotions flow through you. You should be mad at her, should cuss her out again for using you. But tonight, you couldn't find it in yourself to care.

You just needed her again.

"Can I get you a drink?" Her normally confident voice has a slight wavier to it. It makes a slight smirk spread across your lips as you take the beer from her hand. Taking a large drink before your nose scrunches up at the taste. You were more of a spirits girl, a cocktail if you felt fancy.

"So no Owen tonight?" The venom in your voice is clear. There's not a soul in Jackson you wanted to punch more than him. The whole reason Abby was so unsure of herself in the first place. The way he managed to weasel his way back into her life time and time again. But yet you couldn't hate Abby for doing the same thing to you.

"He's back with Mel...shes pregnant." You give her a sympathetic look before handing her back the bottle. "I don't wanna talk about it" she mumbles, barely loud enough for you to hear over the thumping music. She finishes it off before placing it on the bar counter behind her.

"How about we don't talk at all then?" You say before she can even turn back around. Watching as her movements stiffen, and she slowly faces you again. Cheeks flushed that shade of pink you could never be sick of. "Your place is close, Ellie's gonna meet with Dina soooo". Your sentence trails off, the suggestion in your voice clear.

The mention of your best friend makes her eyes widen. Looking around the room to try and spot her. "Ellies here?". There's a slight fear in her voice, something that makes you roll your eyes and scoff.

"Oh calm your tits Anderson you could literally kill her, I don't know why you're you're scared".

"Um let me think" she says sarcastically before looking down at you. "The psycho bitch keyed my car". You fight back the giggle that wants to escape your lips. After days of you crying over your ruined situationship Ellie took it into her own hands. And while you told her it was a stupid idea, you couldn't help but hug her and say thank you.

"Can't prove that" you shrug, looking down at your feet a little nervously. Scuffing your heels off the ground. "Look if you dont-"

"I do" she interrupts, her hand now resting onto your exposed arm. You look back into her eyes. Taking a deep breath and accepting that this was going to hurt tomorrow, but it was worth it. Since even just this little touch was making your skin feel like it's on fire.

"Say it." Your voice is stern, watching as Abby bites her lip softly. Leaning down to whisper into your ear.

"I...I want to fuck you"

Your hand comes up to hers, interlocking your fingers and leading her out. "Cmon then" the judgmental gaze coming from Ellie catches your attention before you reach the door. So you wave over and mouth 'I'll call you' while making a phone with your hand. As soon as you're out the warmth of the bar and in the unforgivng chill of the night, a shiver runs up your shine. "Fuck it's cold!" You squeal slightly.

Abby chuckles, looking around to make sure no one can see you two before her arm wraps around your shoulder. "Wouldn't be cold if you wore real clothes." The playfully dig at your revealing dress makes you push her away. With a fake gasp you point a finger into her defined arm.

"Don't slut shame me Anderson" you giggle softly before returning to her side looking up at her. Taking in the way the streetlamp lights bounce off her features. The way her hair flowed in the slight breeze, it was down for once tucked neatly behind her ears. "Besides I was trying to get fucked not stay warm" The slight look of hurt that flashes across her face makes you raise an eyebrow. "What? You jealous?"

"No" she protests, but they way she won't look at you is telling. Before you can question her again, she points towards the door to her apartment complex. Leading you over before punching in her code and opening the door for you. "Cmon before you get hypothermia"

You walk in and wait for her to be back beside you before you both continue up the stairs. "I thought you were meant to be a super smart med student, it's not cold enough for hypothermia". You're trying to lighten up the mood by teasing her lightly. Remembering the time you were convinced you had hypothermia because the heating in her apartment had gone out while you were over. Her door comes into view, and you listen to her dig the key out from her pocket.

"Yeah yeah, just get inside" Abby rolls her eyes while holding the door open for you again. Maybe it would be easier to hate her if she wasn't so kind, if she wasn't so pretty, if she didn't know you so well. The door shuts behind you as you take off your heels. When you turn Abby is just standing there. Fidgeting with her fingers and avoiding eye contact. "Look um...I- I'm sorry-"

"Save it Abby" you inturput, knowing that it would be nothing productive. It would be the say sorry she gave you atleast five times before you blocked her number. "I don't want an apology I want to cum" Abby steps towards you slowly, your hands moving up to her chest. She quickly takes off her boots before straightening back up.

"Yes ma'am" you giggle softly as her hands wrap around your waist and lift you up. Forcing your legs to wrap around her waist as she carries you to the bedroom. Taking your purse and putting it onto her nightstand before gently placing you down onto her navy blue sheets. Moving so she's looming over you. Her calloused hand running up your outer thigh, inching under the thin fabric of your dress as her lips trail down your jaw to your neck. Sucking a purple mark right in your pulse point that has you gripping for her hair.

"Fuck" you moan softly, feeling her smirk into your skin. You sit up inpatiently, pushing her back by her chest as you fumbling with the zipper on your dress. Huffing when you can't reach it.

"Desperate much?" Abby teases before reaching around and pulling it down for you. Helping to pull the fabric off before throwing it onto the floor. Letting her see the matching lingerie you had picked out for the night. "You really were trying to get fucked huh?"

"Yeah" you swallow hard as her eyes scan over you slowly. "You like it?" The truth was you had bought it for her, baby blue lace that matched her eyes. But she called off your little situatuonship before you got to show her.

Abby reaches her hand out for your cheek, pulling you in. This was new. She'd never been one for kissing during. You guys had made out maybe a hand full of times. Her lips touch yours, and you just melt into her. Arms drapping around her shoulders as she pushes you backwards. Her hand running up from your thigh to your chest. Palming your breast through the barley there fabric. When you moan softly she takes the chance to push her tongue past your lips. Deepening the kiss as your nails start to big into the skin of her upper back. When she finally pulls away slightly, the thin string of saliva still joining you together makes your stomach tighten.

"Abs" you whine softly, arching your back so she can slip her hands around and undo the clasp of your bra. Adding it to the floor alongside your dress.

She kisses you quickly "I love it". Abby mumbles before restarting her trail down your body. From your jaw to your neck, ending at your breast when she takes a nipple in her mouth. Swirling her tounge around the hardened bud as you arch into her. Moaning softly as your eyes flutter shut. Fuck you missed this. The way she made you come undone. Every touch so purposeful.

And God knows if she'd ever let you touch her you'd be the same.

The feeling of her fingers brushing over your clit through your panties makes you gasp. Slightly embrassed by the fact Abby can definitely feel the wetness seeping through the fabric.

"Stop- stop teasing me Abs" you plead as her mouth detaches from your nipple.

"Cmon pretty girl you clearly like it" she teases, rubbing your soaked panties. "What do you want?" You just look at her and bite your lip. Eyes darting down to her fingers but she tsks while shaking her head. "Say it" your own words repeated back to you. Because as much as Abby was unsure of herself when it came to you in public. In the comfort of her own four walls, she's as confident as ever.

"Fuck me" you say, the shake in your voice making Abby smirk. You clear your throat before speaking clearly. "Please Abby fuck me". Her fingers hook onto your panties as she moves back. Slowly peeling them off you and adding them to the pile. You sit up and tug at her shirt. Hoping she'll be feeling generous.

"Baby-"

"Please Abs" you cut her off, bringing your hands up to cup her cheeks gently. "I- I won't touch you, I know the rules by now just...wanna see you" she presses a hand to yours before nodding. Pulling back to grab them hem of her shirt. Slowly pulling it up and over her head.

When you started this situationship you asked her why she didn't like being naked. Why she never asked for anything in return. And the tough girl you'd known just looked at you softly and said. 'I just...I don't think I look good'. You left it at that, but you couldn't help the pity you felt for her. Because the truth was Abby was stunning, maybe the most gorgeous girl you'd ever seen. But there was clearly a voice in her head, who you could only assumed was Owen, telling her otherwise.

When her shirt hits the ground your eyes wander over her body, taking in her black sports bra and her washboard abs like you're obsessed with. "You're so pretty." You don't even realise you've said anything until she blushes softly. As Abby leans beck over you, you reach up and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear gently. Just holding her for a second. God, you aren't drunk enough for this. A wave of feelings washing over you like a tsunami.

"What do you want baby?" Abbys voice breaks through your haze. "I've got the str-"

"Fingers" you inturput, just desperate to feel her. Just her.

"You don't usually want fingers" she teases "that's normally your warm up" Abby slowly moves her hands up your inner thighs, spreading your legs so she can look at your dripping pussy. "Fuck...you're soaked"

"Mhmm" you gasp her her fingers make contact with your clit. Making your hips jump slightly in a way that makes Abby chuckle. "You drive me crazy Abs"

She starts to move in slow, steady circles around your sensitive bud. Working soft gasps and moans from your lips as she kisses up your thighs. "Wanna taste you" she mumbles into your skin. Sure, you heard it but she didn't need to know that. So you snake your hand into her blonde locks at give her a gentle tug.

"What was that?" The fake innocence in your voice almost makes you want to laugh.

Abby looks away from you and goes to say it again so you place your hand on her jaw. Forcing her to keep eye contact. "I want to taste you" you raise an eyebrow, waiting on more. "Please?" The way her voice trembles slightly is the biggest ego boost. Working such a strong, confident woman to a mess like this is better than any drink you could've bought at the bar.

As soon as you nod your head and release her jaw, Abby wastes no time. Kissing down your stomach before her lips meet your clit. She gives you one fat lick from your hole to clit, her arms wrapping around your thighs to bring your legs over her shoulders. Abby's grip is so tight even if you wanted to move you'd stand no chance so instead you throw your head back into the pillow. Moaning shamlessly as her tounge works around your clit.

The pleasure makes a warmth spread across your body, your hand tangled in her hair as you hold her close to you. Trying to grind your hips into her but stopped by her hands pinning you down. You're almost convinced there's going to be bruises there tomorrow. "A- Abby" You whine, pleading for more.

She pulls back slightly, looking up at you with your wetness dripping down her chin. "Hmm?"

"Fingers please" your hand squeezes over her own. "Please Abby I'm so close"

Humming softly, she loosens her grip of her right hand. Slowly tracing over your skin until she reaches your mouth. You don't need to be told. Parting your lips, you let her push in. Sucking while keeping eyecontact. When she pulls them out you whine at the lose but it doesn't last long. As they slip into your hole your eyes roll back. "Fuck you're so wet" Abby gasps softly. Once you take her down to the knuckles she let's you adjust. "You good?"

"Mhm" you moans softly "move Abs please?". She doesn't need to be told twice, her fingers slowly starting to pump in and out of you as her mouth moves back to your clit. You can't help but clentch around her as she works you to your peak. Her neighbours must hate her, or really they must hate you. The way your loud moans echo throughout the room as she gets you closer and closer. You grip the sheets beneath you, screwing your eyes shut as your back arches. Orgasm washing over you while all you can do is chant her name over and over and over again. Completely lost in the pleasure.

Abby's pace slows after your finish over her fingers. Only pulling out once your breathing starts to steady and you open your eyes again. She moves up next to you, slumping down as your arms stay pressed together. The sudden silence hanging thick in the air. Uncomfortable, tense. But you break it.

"Are you gonna accept you like women yet?" You ask quietly, almost afraid of the answer.

"I don't" you don't wait for her to continue, instead you move yourself off the bed to start pulling on your underwear. You've been here so many times you just make your way to her closet, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a tshirt that's going to drown you. Planning on adding them to your small collection if her clothes. Even if they had all been shoved to the back of your closet. Abby sits up, stammer out some kind of explanation as you don't look at her. "I- I mean I do, but you know that this is"

"Mhm" you reply, the agitation clear in your tone. You quickly fix your hair to the best of your ability before picking up your dress and pulling out your phone from your purse. Slinging the bag over your arm as you request an Uber.

Abby just looks at you, nervously playing with the end of her hair. "I- its just the way I am-"

You inturput her with a sigh, finally looking at her with a slight pity. "It's not just gonna go away, but its your life Abby if you wanna be misrable and act like you dont like women thats your call" your app pings letting you know the ubers already here and you're silently thankful. Because the familiar feeling of falling for Abby is creeping back into you. "Good luck, babe" you say softly before heading out. Glancing down at your heels at the door with a groan. Reluctantly slipping them on before hurrying down to the Uber.

Maybe one day she'll change.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [40] - Laurel

A.N: The last 3 chapters! ❤️Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤️ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think❤️

Summary: An engagement ball can be followed by an unexpected surprise.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of sex, mentions of threats.

Word Count: 3000

Series Masterlist

Technically you knew planning an engagement ball was bound to be stressful, of course you did.

But from the way Lottie was treating it, you were beginning to think it was a life-and-death situation.

“Lottie you do realize you didn’t have to come here to make sure me and Ben are coming to the engagement ball?” you asked “Don’t get me wrong, I’m always glad to see you but there is no way we’d miss it. No matter how much Benedict whines about you and Anthony getting married, he’s actually happy for you.”

“Oh I know!” she said as she sat beside you on the bench. You were in the garden, enjoying your book in the gazebo after having spent hours in the greenhouse while Benedict was busy with his painting in his studio. “I cannot stay long because I must go to the Bridgerton House but before that, I figured I could come here and give you this.”

She put the wrapped rectangular box that she was holding into your lap and you tilted your head.

“What is this?”

“This is sort of a thank you for accepting to be my maid of honor,” she said, making you smile.

“Lottie, you really shouldn’t have…” you said as you unwrapped the box and held your breath when you saw the chocolates. “I take it back, I’m glad you did.”

She let out a laugh as you hugged her and pulled back to look at her better.

“It’s my privilege to be your maid of honor,” you said as you popped a chocolate into your mouth and offered her, but she shook her head.

“I feel as if I’m in the most pleasant dream,” she whispered like she was giving you a secret. “I never thought Tony would love me back and the funny part is—”

“He never thought you’d love him back?”

“Yes!” she said. “Can you believe it?”

“I absolutely can,” you said with a laugh, then reached out to hold her hand. “I’m really happy for you.”

“Thank you!”

You grabbed another piece of chocolate, then chewed on it.

“So are you very excited for the engagement ball?”

“Very tense, more likely,” she said. “I hope everyone will like it.”

“Of course they will,” you assured her. “And you’re not doing it for them, you’re doing it for you.”

“That is something I must repeat to myself a lot, yes,” she said with a sigh. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy about the wedding and such but I’m also happy for the time I’ll get to be alone with Tony after all this.”

“I know how that feels,” you said, smiling slightly and she looked around.

“Benny is in his studio?”

“Mm hm, painting.”

“I must go but you must give him my regards.”

“You don’t want to say hello to him?”

“I’m not going to interrupt him while he’s painting, he might lose focus,” she said and stood up, then kissed you on the cheek. “I will see both of you tonight?”

“Cross my heart,” you said and hugged her. “Tell the family I said hello!”

“Will do!” she said and walked away, and you looked back at the house before making your way there. You hummed a song to yourself, still carrying the box of chocolates, and climbed the stairs, then walked down the hallway to approach the closed door of the studio.

You only hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door, then stepped back.

“Yes?” Benedict’s voice carried outside and you smiled slightly.

“You’ve been awfully quiet, is there something terrible going on there?”

The footsteps came closer, then the door opened halfway, letting you see him and you repressed a grin. He looked handsome as always but there were traces of paint all over his hands and his white shirt, and his hair was tousled as if he had been running his hands through it the way he always would when he was stressed. You tilted your head.

“Did you lose a fight with the canvas or something?”

“I’m winning actually,” he said as he gave you an excited grin and you leaned sideways to the doorframe, then held up the box.

“Do you want a chocolate?”

“God yes,” he said and grabbed one to pop it into his mouth. “Where did this come from?”

“Lottie dropped by, she didn’t want to interrupt you while you were painting,” you said. “She brought me chocolates to thank me for accepting to be her maid of honor.”

Benedict blinked a couple of times. “Wait, we get treats for that?”

“I got treats for that,” you corrected him. “You’re the best man, what did Anthony give you?”

“…A speech.”

You clicked your tongue. “Ah well, that sounds like the consequences of your choices.”

“He’s my brother, I honestly did not have a choice in that,” he said, eyeing the chocolates. “How come you get chocolates and I get a speech?”

“Probably because I’m nicer than you,” you said with a grin. “There’s no other explanation here.”

“Mm hm, I’m sure.”

“So the painting?” you asked, standing on your tiptoes to sneak a look inside but he tut-tutted, blocking your view.

“Not yet.”

“What’s it about?”

“You’ll see,” he said. “Y/N, I can’t explain, I…ever since that night, it’s like I’m more inspired than I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

You could feel the warmth spreading inside your chest and you shifted your weight, letting a smile pull at your lips.

“And yet I cannot see it?” you asked, nodding in the direction of the room and he shook his head.

“Not yet, but you will be the first person to see it once it’s finished.”

You hummed, pretending to be in deep thought. “Do you promise?”

He smiled softly, then leaned in to brush his lips against yours, making you heave a happy sigh.

“On my honor,” he said. “You’ll see it before anyone else.”

“Very well, I guess I’ll leave you alone to work on it,” you said. “Just don’t forget, we must be at Lottie and Anthony’s engagement party before eight o’clock.”

He made a face. “After Anthony’s huge speech about responsibilities, how could I?”

“See, the speech was useful,” you pointed out, and walked away from him, popping a chocolate into your mouth. “But chocolates are still better!”

                                                    *

You had to admit, though you knew Lottie and Anthony’s engagement ball would be beautiful, even you did not see this coming. Every single guest looked like they were having so much fun while Anthony and Lottie seemed like they were in their own happy bubble, as if blind to anyone else in the ballroom.

“Anthony a married man…” Colin murmured as he sipped his drink while Eloise shook her head. “Now I know the world is coming to an end.”

Benedict grinned. “You do realize what it means right?” he asked. “Mother will focus on only you two the next season.”

“This is your fault, you know?” Eloise asked and Benedict tilted his head.

“How is that?”

“First you, then Daph…” she tilted her glass in Daphne and Simon’s direction who were talking to Lady Danbury and Lady Bridgerton on the other side of the ballroom. “And now Anthony. Even Colin almost got married this season!”

“The season of scandals,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders and Colin heaved a sigh.

“Has someone put the whole family under a spell I wonder.”

“Not me,” Eloise said. “I remain to be the smartest among you all.”

Benedict pushed her shoulder with his in a joking manner. “Does this mean you’re not looking forward to the next season when you will have so many suitors to entertain, El?”

“You take that back!”

“I’ll help you threaten them,” you assured Eloise. “Don’t worry. Eloise before I forget, do you want a knife?”

“She does not want a knife,” Benedict answered in a haste before Eloise could. “I do not trust her with a knife.”

“I second that,” Colin said and Eloise leaned in so that she could whisper into your ear.

“Please tell me you’re getting me a knife.”

You winked at her and nodded, then sipped your drink.

“When we return to Aubrey Hall in two weeks, we will have nowhere to run,” Eloise said. “I mean I can’t stay at your house because you two are sickeningly in love, and so are Daphne and Simon, and now, Anthony and Lottie. Where am I supposed to go to in order to see no romance?”

“It is a challenge,” you said and Colin shot you a look.

“Did you miss the part she said you two are sickeningly in love?” he asked. “I mean you’ve always been but lately it’s even…it’s different, it’s much more than before.”

You and Benedict exchanged glances and you pursed your lips to hold back your grin while Benedict ran a hand over his mouth to keep his expression straight.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he managed to say and Lady Bridgerton raised a hand to motion at them to come over. Eloise heaved a sigh and looked up at Colin.

“Come on,” she said and Colin downed his drink, then they both made their way to her. You looked around, standing on your tiptoes.

“Have you seen Josie?” you asked. “Or Andrew, or Bess?”

“Not yet,” Benedict said. “I’m sure they will be here soon.”

“Hello you two!” Lottie’s cheerful voice reached you, making you turn around. She threw herself into your arms and you hugged her tight, smiling wide. Anthony grabbed the glass from Benedict’s hand and took a sip, making him frown.

“Get your own God damn glass!”

“Every time any footman makes his way to me, someone pulls us into a conversation,” Anthony said, still holding Lottie’s hand with his free hand. “I swear to you, I couldn’t even eat anything yet.”

“Still doesn’t explain why you’re taking my glass—”

“I’m the oldest, that’s why.”

“This is your engagement ball!”

“I could give you my glass Tony,” Lottie said like a melody and Anthony pressed a kiss on the back of her hand.

“No need my love.”

“Everyone has so much to tell us,” Lottie told Benedict. “So much advice about marriage too, it’s rather overwhelming.”

“Probably they’re still waiting for you to wake up and see the light and change your mind about marrying him Charlie, the wedding is next week so it’s not too late—”

“Benedict!”

“I mean he stole my drink, is this really the type of person you want to grow old with?” Benedict motioned at Anthony with a grin while Anthony rolled his eyes.

“Unbelievable.”

“I’m still working on your wedding present by the way,” he told her, making her gasp. “It should be ready by the time the social season is over.”

“You got us a wedding present? Aw Benny, you shouldn’t have!”

“Yeah well, if you can’t fight it…” Benedict said with a shrug but the happy grin on his face told a different story than his pretend nonchalance. Lottie pulled him into a hug, and he hugged her back.

“Congratulations to you both by the way,” Benedict said as Lottie pulled back, “In case I forgot to say that. I really am happy for you.”

“That is uncharacteristically mindful of him, is this your doing?” Anthony asked you and you let out a laugh.

“I’d love to take credit but no.”

“And how is it going with the plan—” Anthony started but cleared his throat when Benedict shot him a look. “The plan with the…the art thing that you uh—that you do?”

You pulled your brows together. “Hm?”

“I have this plan for a new painting,” Benedict said. “It’s going quite well brother.”

“Keep me informed about that, will you?”

“Sure—”

“Oh isn’t this the happy couple?” A lady you didn’t even know touched Lottie’s arm. “Do you two mind if I borrowed them?”

“Of course not,” you said and Anthony heaved a dramatic sigh while Lottie squeezed his arm as if trying to console him.

“We will see you later,” she said and both Anthony and she followed the lady to the small crowd on the other side of the ballroom. You pressed your lips together to hide your smile, then looked up at Benedict.

“What plan?”

Benedict turned to you. “Hm?”

“What plan was he talking about?”

“I told you,” Benedict said with a shrug of his shoulders, then held out his hand. “Just the painting, that’s all. A dance, my lady?”

                                                *

By the time the ball was over, it was almost dawn. Lottie looked like she was about to pass out from exhaustion, so you gave her a quick hug, then you and Benedict told everyone else you would see them the next day and -which was technically today- and got on the carriage.

“Is it just me or was Andrew a bit distracted?” you asked while the carriage moved through the street and Benedict thought for a moment, then shook his head.

“Probably because Felix wasn’t there?”

“Maybe,” you murmured and rested your head on his chest, letting out a small groan. “I’m so tired.”

Benedict buried his nose into your hair, throwing his arm over your shoulder so that he could hold you tighter.

“At least they’ll have their wedding before we all go back to countryside,” he said. “I wouldn’t be expecting any other ball from them for at least next season.”

“Because they’ll be very busy?” you asked with a grin and he made a face.

“Yeah yeah… Please don’t remind me.”

“What are you getting them as their wedding present?”

“I’m going to paint their portrait together,” he said as you pulled back to look at him better, your jaw dropping. “And send it to Aubrey Hall because I honestly think when I see my sweet Charlie as Anthony’s wife, I might just—”

“Stop with that, I was there when you told them you were happy for them,” you said with a laugh. “So is that what you’re working on then?”

“Not yet,” he said. “I’ll get to it once I’m done with the painting I’m already working on. It’s about to be finished.”

“And I’ll be the first to see?”

“And you’ll be the first to see,” he said with a mischievous smile before kissing you, and the carriage came to a stop. Benedict got out of it and helped you out, and you both started walking to the house, still holding hands.

“So everyone is going back to Aubrey Hall in two weeks then?”

“Well everyone but us and Daphne,” he said as you two climbed the marble stairs leading to the house. “I forgot you still haven’t seen there, or our home in the countryside.”

A warmth spread inside your chest and you took a deep breath.

“But we’re moving all the flowers from this greenhouse to the countryside house?” you felt the need to ask and he nodded his head.

“Of course. Might be a little time because the greenhouse there still hasn’t finished but I was thinking,” he said as you both reached the door and walked through it, entering the foyer. “Maybe we could get some and put them in the house and once the greenhouse is finished—”

“Mr. Bridgerton,” the butler’s voice reached you and you both turned your heads to see him approach you. “There’s a note for you, it arrived a couple hours ago.”  

“Thank you,” Benedict said, taking the letter from him and you tilted your head.

“Just now?” you asked. “That’s not very common, everyone is asleep. Who’s it from?”

Benedict ripped open the envelope to read the note, a grin curling his lips as he got to the end of the lines, and let out a breath.

“Oh thank God, finally.”

“What?” you asked and Benedict lowered the letter, then gave you a soft smile.

“My love, I haven’t been the most honest with you I’m afraid,” he said, making your heart skip a beat and you pulled back slightly, a frown pinching your brows together.

“About what?”

“Me and Andrew, remember we talked the other night?”

You nodded your head, still frowning.

“Well you said your parents didn’t even know Josie was here, but that they were blackmailing her about that letter.”

“Yes?”

“So it got me thinking, if they didn’t even know she was here, there was no reason at all why they would bring the letter with them here.”

You blinked a couple of times. “Uh… I suppose?”

“So we sent someone to the countryside to go find that letter in their house while your parents are here.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“Someone we can trust—Anthony knows him, that’s what he was talking about today,” he assured you. “And I told him to take the letter to Andrew and give it to him directly, no one else, but to let me know immediately so…” he held up the note. “He apparently found it and wrote to me that he would wait for Andrew to come home so that he can deliver it in person.”

You could feel the shock taking over your whole mind and you tried to wrap your head around it.

“…You mean to tell me—”

“I mean to tell you that there’s nothing at all they can use against Josie and Bess,” he said. “And they’re not going to hurt you, or Josie, or Teddy. Ever again.”

A relieved laugh spilled from your lips before you flung yourself into his arms and he caught you to hug you tight, pressing a kiss on the top of your head.

“Ben, I don’t know what to say,” you managed to mutter, still in disbelief. “Thank you, you…you didn’t have to help—”

“Your family is my family,” he said. “Of course I will help however I can.”

You looked up at him and stood on your tiptoes to kiss him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I love you,” you said and he gave you a lopsided grin.

“I love you too,” he muttered and leaned in to brush his lips against yours again, making you smile. “In this life and the next, darling.”

Chapter 41

[wildestdreamsblog]

I'm Yoongi's bitch so I can have one “What was supposed to be a one night stand with a member turned out to be more when he couldn’t let go” with him?

Where You Belong

Pairing: CEO!Min Yoongi x Secretary!Reader

Warnings: Soft Yandere, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Light Sexual themes, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: I too am Yoongi’s bitch. Also I wrote this while I had six glasses of whiskey if there’s error, pls do forgive sksks. I hope you enjoy this! <3

3000 celebration

“Fucking finally,” Min Yoongi growled as he thrusted his hard member into you. The loud sound of flesh slapping against each other was loud in his bedroom. He had always thought it would be good with you, but fuck if he expected it to be this fucking good.

You were like a custom made for him, like one of those bespoke suits he was always fond of. The moment you entered in his office four years ago, he had felt the growing attraction he had tried to squash to no avail. Min Yoongi had tried so many things, but you were engraved in his skin…so deep that he knew removing you would be fatal to him.

You were his trusty secretary, someone he could really leaned on. But you were more than that. You proved to be more than that. You were his friend, his confidant, someone who took care of him when he overworked himself which he tended to do a lot.

You were his.

Simply his.

Yet the moment you casually mentioned that some other firm reached out to you to recruit you, he lost it.

Yoongi really thought he could rein his intrusive emotions, but he was proven wrong.

It was late at night when the two of you reached the hotel. You were in another city after finishing closing a partnership when you quietly brought it up to your cold boss. You wanted to slowly integrate him to the thought of you leaving, knowing full well that he didn’t do well with sudden changes.

Not when it came to you.

Never when it came to you.

You had developed feelings for him two years ago, and you knew it wasn’t healthy for you to stay. It wasn’t good for you to wait for him, not when he proved time after time that you were just a secretary to him. Not when he looked at you as though he never saw you for who you were.

You needed to move on from this stupid crush.

Having just finish debriefing with him, you thought that now was a good time to tell him your intentions slowly.

Yoongi closed his laptop, the workaholic in him finally feeling at ease now that the contract was done, and it was all because of your hard work. He looked at you with his dark eyes, admiring your strength and professionalism- yet he knew he couldn’t cross the line…unless you did first.

“Let’s go to the museum you want to visit tomorrow-“

“Enhypen company reached out to me,” you cut him off, your voice strong despite feeling the exact opposite. You almost wanted to take the words back when you saw his face lost all its emotions. You were now facing the Yoongi that people feared.

“Excuse me?”

“T-they want to interview me next week-“

Yoongi chuckled lowly before slowly placing his laptop on the coffee table. He loosened his tie, his movements precise even as his eyes were on you. “And what did you say, kitten? I hope you put them down gently…”

You gulped as he stared at you as though he could see through your soul, as though he knew the secrets you kept.

As though he knew you were in love with him long before you admitted it to yourself. And it was because of that that you knew you had to leave this stupid crush behind and move on with your life. “I told them…” you trailed off when you saw him tilted his head, his dark eyebrow raised as he waited for you to continue with nonchalance in his movements. He leaned in, his elbows resting on his knees as he waited for you to decide on his face.

“Yes, kitten? You told them no, right? That’s good. No one deserves you as much as I-“

“I told them I’ll go next week.”

You could hear a pin drop in the room. The silence was suffocating, his glare was like vines keeping you in place. It took forever before he scoffed. He couldn’t believe you were considering leaving him.

“No.”

You blinked owlishly at the man sitting in front of you. “No?”

“You heard me,” he postulated as though it was a done deal. “You’re not going to that fucking interview. You’re not going to leave. You’re going to stay by my side.”

Your could feel your heart beat faster as though it was warning you of the danger that was slowly standing and sauntering to you.

And when he was close enough, he leaned in to whisper, “No one can have you but me.”

You cried in pleasure as Yoongi drew another orgasm from you. He was relentless when he heard you would leave him, became unhinged with the thought of never seeing you again.

He couldn’t have that, could he?

Yet, the moment he fell asleep, you knew you had to leave. You couldn’t survive when morning came and he looked at you with indifference once again.

Or when he would tell you it was a mistake.

You just couldn’t.

And so you left his embrace that felt like home.

“Where is she?” Yoongi asked in barely contained anger as he looked at your direct subordinate. It was nine o’clock and yet, you were nowhere to be seen. You were usually here by seven in the morning. When he woke up without you, he lost it. The hotel room was the telltale sign of him losing his ever loving composure. It took you running to crumble his nonchalant facade.

“S-she resigned, sir-“

“You’re fired.”

But the letter neatly placed on his desk was notice enough of you leaving the company, of you leaving him.

As if you could.

He would make sure there was no place on earth you could hide from him.

“Are you insane?” You seethed as you saw him. He was calmly sat down, his evil lawyer looking at you with soulless eyes. “Fifty million just because I left?”

Min Yoongi shrugged, his eyes looked bored. But he was anything but bored. He felt alive now that he could finally see you.

It took tons of lawsuit before you agreed to meet with him.

“You breached the contract.”

“It specifically said that I can leave whenever I want!”

“Tsk tsk,” Yoongi shook his head in faux sadness before smirking at you. “You should have read the contract carefully, my kitten. It says here you can’t leave me. Ever.”

You slammed your hands on the desk, your anger getting the best of you. Couldn’t you just moved on in peace?!

“I know what I signed! This isn’t it!”

“Then prove it.”

But how could you when he had all the resources in the world to make you stay? He knew it. You knew it. That smug smirk of his was a sign he knew he had you cornered.

Kitten, you really should have known you couldn’t leave. Not when he finally understood what he felt for you, not now. Not ever.

At your defeated expression, he softened his expression and reached out his long, veiny hand to clasp yours. “Or come back to me. This is the only way, kitten.”

Come back, and he swore that he would always make you happy.

That he would be the best husband for you.

That you would never, ever want to leave him.

[yamayuandadu]

The most important deity you've never heard of: the 3000 years long history of Nanaya

Being a major deity is not necessarily a guarantee of being remembered. Nanaya survived for longer than any other Mesopotamian deity, spread further away from her original home than any of her peers, and even briefly competed with both Buddha and Jesus for relevance. At the same time, even in scholarship she is often treated as unworthy of study. She has no popculture presence save for an atrocious, ill-informed SCP story which can’t get the most basic details right. Her claims to fame include starring in fairly explicit love poetry and appearing where nobody would expect her. Therefore, she is the ideal topic to discuss on this blog. This is actually the longest article I published here, the culmination of over two years of research. By now, the overwhelming majority of Nanaya-related articles on wikipedia are my work, and what you can find under the cut is essentially a synthesis of what I have learned while getting there. I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed working on it. Under the cut, you will learn everything there is to know about Nanaya: her origin, character, connections with other Mesopotamian deities, her role in literature, her cult centers… Since her history does not end with cuneiform, naturally the later text corpora - Aramaic, Bactrian, Sogdian and even Chinese - are discussed too. The article concludes with a short explanation why I see the study of Nanaya as crucial.

Dubious origins and scribal wordplays: from na-na to Nanaya Long ago Samuel Noah Kramer said that “history begins in Sumer”. While the core sentiment was not wrong in many regards, in this case it might actually begin in Akkad, specifically in Gasur, close to modern Kirkuk. The oldest possible attestation of Nanaya are personal names from this city with the element na-na, dated roughly to the reign of Naram-Sin of Akkad, so to around 2250 BCE. It’s not marked in the way names of deities in personal names would usually be, but this would not be an isolated case.

The evidence is ultimately mixed. On one hand, reduplicated names like Nana are not unusual in early Akkadian sources, and -ya can plausibly be explained as a hypocoristic suffix. On the other hand, there is not much evidence for Nanaya being worshiped specifically in the far northeast of Mesopotamia in other periods. Yet another issue is that there is seemingly no root nan- in Akkadian, at least in any attested words.

The main competing proposal is that Nanaya originally arose as a hypostasis of Inanna but eventually split off through metaphorical mitosis, like a few other goddesses did, for example Annunitum. This is not entirely implausible either, but ultimately direct evidence is lacking, and when Nanaya pops up for the first time in history she is clearly a distinct goddess.

There are a few other proposals regarding Nanaya’s origin, but they are considerably weaker. Elamite has the promising term nan, “day” or “morning”, but Nanaya is entirely absent from the Old Elamite sources you’d expect to find her in if Mesopotamians imported her from the east. Therefore, very few authors adhere to this view. The hypothesis that she was an Aramaic goddess in origin does not really work chronologically, since Aramaic is not attested in the third millennium BCE at all. The less said about attempts to connect her to anything “Proto-Indo-European”, the better.

Like many other names of deities, Nanaya’s was already a subject of etymological speculation in antiquity. A late annotated version of the Weidner god list, tablet BM 62741, preserves a scribe’s speculative attempt at deriving it from the basic meaning of the sign NA, “to call”, furnished with a feminine suffix, A. Needless to say, like other such examples of scribal speculation, some of which are closer to playful word play than linguistics, it is unlikely to reflect the actual origin of the name.

Early history: Shulgi-simti, Nanaya’s earliest recorded #1 fan

A typical Ur III administrative tablet listing offerings to various deities (wikimedia commons)

The first absolutely certain attestations of Nanaya, now firmly under her full name, have been identified in texts from the famous archive from Puzrish-Dagan, modern Drehem, dated to around 2100 BCE. Much can be written about this site, but here it will suffice to say that it was a center of the royal administration of the Third Dynasty of Ur ("Ur III") responsible for the distribution of sacrificial animals. Nanaya appears there in a rather unique context - she was one of the deities whose cults were patronized by queen Shulgi-simti, one of the wives of Shulgi, the successor of the dynasty’s founder Ur-Namma. We do not know much about Shulgi-simti as a person - she did not write any official inscriptions announcing her preferred foreign policy or letters to relatives or poetry or anything else that typically can be used to gain a glimpse into the personal lives of Mesopotamian royalty. We’re not really sure where she came from, though Eshnunna is often suggested as her hometown. We actually do not even know what her original name was, as it is assumed she only came to be known as Shulgi-simti after becoming a member of the royal family. Tonia Sharlach suggested that the absence of information about her personal life might indicate that she was a commoner, and that her marriage to Shulgi was not politically motivated The one sphere of Shulgi-simti’s life which we are incredibly familiar with are her religious ventures. She evidently had an eye for minor, foreign or otherwise unusual goddesses, such as Belet-Terraban or Nanaya. She apparently ran what Sharlach in her “biography” of her has characterized as a foundation. It was tasked with sponsoring various religious celebrations. Since Shulgi-simti seemingly had no estate to speak of, most of the relevant documents indicate she procured offerings from a variety of unexpected sources, including courtiers and other members of the royal family. The scale of her operations was tiny: while the more official religious organizations dealt with hundreds or thousands of sacrificial animals, up to fifty or even seventy thousand sheep and goats in the case of royal administration, the highest recorded number at her disposal seems to be eight oxen and fifty nine sheep. A further peculiarity of the “foundation” is that apparently there was a huge turnover rate among the officials tasked with maintaining it. It seems nobody really lasted there for much more than four years. There are two possible explanations: either Shulgi-simti was unusually difficult to work with, or the position was not considered particularly prestigious and was, at the absolute best, viewed as a stepping stone. While the Shulgi-simti texts are the earliest evidence for worship of Nanaya in the Ur III court, they are actually not isolated. When all the evidence from the reigns of Shulgi and his successors is summarized, it turns out that she quickly attained a prominent role, as she is among the twelve deities who received the most offerings. However, her worship was seemingly limited to Uruk (in her own sanctuary), Nippur (in the temple of Enlil, Ekur) and Ur. Granted, these were coincidentally three of the most important cities in the entire empire, so that’s a pretty solid early section of a divine resume. She chiefly appears in two types of ceremonies: these tied to the royal court, or these mostly performed by or for women. Notably, a festival involving lamentations (girrānum) was held in her honor in Uruk. To understand Nanaya’s presence in the two aforementioned contexts, and by extension her persistence in Mesopotamian religion in later periods, we need to first look into her character.

The character of Nanaya: eroticism, kingship, and disputed astral ventures

Corona Borealis (wikimedia commons)

Nanaya’s character is reasonably well defined in primary sources, but surprisingly she was almost entirely ignored in scholarship quite recently. The first study of her which holds up to scrutiny is probably Joan Goodnick Westenholz’s article Nanaya, Lady of Mystery from 1997. The core issue is the alleged interchangeability of goddesses. From the early days of Assyriology basically up to the 1980s, Nanaya was held to be basically fully interchangeable with Inanna. This obviously put her in a tough spot. Still, over the course of the past three decades the overwhelming majority of studies came to recognize Nanaya as a distinct goddess worthy of study in her own right. You will still stumble upon the occasional “Nanaya is basically Inanna”, but now this is a minority position. Tragically it’s not extinct yet, most recently I’ve seen it in a monograph published earlier this year. With these methodological and ideological issues out of the way, let’s actually look into Nanaya’s character, as promised by the title of this section. Her original role was that of a goddess of love. It is already attested for her at the dawn of her history, in the Ur III period. Her primary quality was described with a term rendered as ḫili in Sumerian and kuzbu in Akkadian. It can be variously translated as “charm”, “luxuriance”, “voluptuousness”, “sensuality” or “sexual attractiveness”. This characteristic was highlighted by her epithet bēlet kuzbi (“lady of kuzbu”) and by the name of her cella in the Eanna, Eḫilianna. The connection was so strong that this term appears basically in every single royal inscription praising her. She was also called bēlet râmi, “lady of love”. Nanaya’s role as a love goddess is often paired with describing her as a “joyful” or “charming” deity. It needs to be stressed that Nanaya was by no metric the goddess of some abstract, cosmic love or anything like that. Love incantations and prayers related to love are quite common, and give us a solid glimpse into this matter. Nanaya’s range of activity in them is defined pretty directly: she deals with relationships (and by extension also with matters like one-sided crushes or arguments between spouses), romance and with strictly sexual matters. For an example of a hymn highlighting her qualifications when it comes to the last category, see here. The text is explicit, obviously. We can go deeper, though. There is also an incantation whose incipit at first glance leaves little to imagination:

However, the translator, Giole Zisa, notes there is some debate over whether it’s actually about having sex with Nanaya or merely about invoking her (and other deities) while having sex with someone else. A distinct third possibility is that she’s not even properly invoked but that “oh, Nanaya” is simply an exclamation of excitement meant to fit the atmosphere, like a specialized version of the mainstay of modern erotica dialogue, “oh god”.

While this romantic and sexual aspect of Nanaya’s character is obviously impossible to overlook, this is not all there was to her. She was also associated with kingship, as already documented in the Ur III period. She was invoked during coronations and mourning of deceased kings. In the Old Babylonian period she was linked to investiture by rulers of newly independent Uruk. A topic which has stirred some controversy in scholarship is Nanaya’s supposed astral role. Modern authors who try to present Nanaya as a Venus deity fall back on rather faulty reasoning, namely asserting that if Nanaya was associated with Inanna and Inanna personified Venus, clearly Nanaya did too. Of course, being associated with Inanna does not guarantee the same traits. Shaushka was associated with her so closely her name was written with the logogram representing her counterpart quite often, and lacked astral aspects altogether. No primary sources which discuss Nanaya as a distinct, actively worshiped deity actually link her with Venus. If you stretch it you will find some tidbits like an entry in a dictionary prepared by the 10th century bishop Hasan bar Bahlul, who inexplicably asserted Nanaya was the Arabic name of the planet Venus. As you will see soon, there isn’t even a possibility that this reflected a relic of interpretatio graeca. The early Mandaean sources, many of which were written when at least remnants of ancient Mesopotamian religion were still extant, also do not link Nanaya with Venus. Despite at best ambivalent attitude towards Mesopotamian deities, they show remarkable attention to detail when it comes to listing their cult centers, and on top of that Mesopotamian astronomy had a considerable impact on Mandaeism, so there is no reason not to prioritize them, as far as I am concerned. As far as the ancient Mesopotamian sources themselves go, the only astral object with a direct connection to Nanaya was Corona Borealis (BAL.TÉŠ.A, “Dignity”), as attested in the astronomical compendium MUL.APIN. Note that this is a work which assigns astral counterparts to virtually any deity possible, though, and there is no indication this was a major part of Nanaya’s character. Save for this single instance, she is entirely absent from astronomical texts. A further astral possibility is that Nanaya was associated with the moon. The earliest evidence is highly ambiguous: in the Ur III period festivals held in her honor might have been tied to phases of the moon, while in the Old Babylonian period a sanctuary dedicated to her located in Larsa was known under the ceremonial name Eitida, “house of the month”. A poem in which looking at her is compared to looking at the moon is also known. That’s not all, though. Starting with the Old Babylonian period, she could also be compared with the sun. Possibly such comparisons were meant to present her as an astral deity, without necessarily identifying her with a specific astral body. Michael P. Streck and Nathan Wasserman suggest that it might be optimal to simply refer to her as a “luminous” deity in this context. However, as you will see later it nonetheless does seem she eventually came to be firmly associated both with the sun and the moon. Last but not least, Nanaya occasionally displayed warlike traits. It’s hardly major in her case, and if you tried hard enough you could turn any deity into a war deity depending on your political goals, though. I’d also place the incantation which casts her as one of the deities responsible for keeping the demon Lamashtu at bay here.

Nanaya in art

The oldest known depiction of Nanaya (wikimedia commons)

While Nanaya’s roles are pretty well defined, there surprisingly isn’t much to say about her iconography in Mesopotamian art.The oldest certain surviving depiction of her is rather indistinct: she’s wearing a tall headdress and a flounced robe. It dates to the late Kassite period (so roughly to 1200 BCE), and shows her alongside king Meli-Shipak (or maybe Meli-Shihu, reading remains uncertain) and his daughter Hunnubat-Nanaya. Nanaya is apparently invoked to guarantee that the prebend granted to the princess will be under divine protection. This is not really some unique prerogative of hers, perhaps she was just the most appropriate choice because Hunnubat-Nanaya’s name obviously reflects devotion to her. The relief discussed above is actually the only depiction of Nanaya identified with certainty from before the Hellenistic period, surprisingly. We know that statues representing her existed, and it is hard to imagine that a popular, commonly worshiped deity was not depicted on objects like terracotta decorations and cylinder seals, but even if some of these were discovered, there’s no way to identify them with certainty. This is not unusual though, and ultimately there aren’t many Mesopotamian deities who can be identified in art without any ambiguity. 

Nanaya in literature

As I highlighted in the section dealing with Nanaya’s character, she is reasonably well attested in love poetry. However, this is not the only genre in which she played a role. A true testament to Nanaya’s prominence is a bilingual (Sumero-Akkadian) hymn composed in her honor in the first millennium BCE. It is written in the first person, and presents various other goddesses as her alternate identities. It is hardly unique, and similar compositions dedicated to Ishtar (Inanna), Gula, Ninurta and Marduk are also known. Each strophe describes a different deity and location, but ends with Nanaya reasserting her actual identity with the words “still I am Nanaya”. Among the claimed identities included are both major goddesses in their own right (Inanna plus closely associated Annunitum and Ishara, Gula, Bau, Ninlil), goddesses relevant due to their spousal roles first and foremost (Damkina, Shala, Mammitum etc) and some truly unexpected, picks, the notoriously elusive personified rainbow Manzat being the prime example. Most of them had very little in common with Nanaya, so this might be less an attempt at syncretism, and more an elevation of her position through comparisons to those of other goddesses. An additional possible literary curiosity is a poorly preserved myth which Wilfred G. Lambert referred to as “The murder of Anshar”. He argues that Nanaya is one of the two deities responsible for the eponymous act. I don't quite follow the logic, though: the goddess is actually named Ninamakalamma (“Lady mother of the land”), and her sole connection with Nanaya is that they occur in sequence in the unique god list from Sultantepe. Lambert saw this as a possible indication they are identical. There are no other attestations of this name, but ama kalamma does occur as an epithet of various goddesses, most notably Ninshubur. Given her juxtaposition with Nanaya in the Weidner god list - more on that later - wouldn’t it make more sense to assume it’s her? Due to obscurity of the text as far as I am aware nobody has questioned Lambert’s tentative proposal yet, though.

There isn’t much to say about the plot: Anshar, literally “whole heaven”, the father of Anu, presumably gets overthrown and might be subsequently killed. Something that needs to be stressed here to avoid misinterpretation: primordial deities such as Anshar were borderline irrelevant, and weren't really worshiped. They exist to fade away in myths and to be speculated about in elaborate lexical texts. There was no deposed cult of Anshar. Same goes for all the Tiamats and Enmesharras and so on.

Inanna and beyond: Nanaya and friends in Mesopotamian sources

Inanna on a cylinder seal from the second half of the third millennium BCE (wikimedia commons)

Of course, Nanaya’s single most important connection was that to Inanna, no matter if we are to accept the view that she was effectively a hypostasis gone rogue or not. The relationship between them could be represented in many different ways. Quite commonly she was understood as a courtier or protegee of Inanna. A hymn from the reign of Ishbi-Erra calls her the “ornament of Eanna” (Inanna’s main temple in Uruk) and states she was appointed by Inanna to her position. References to Inanna as Nanaya’s mother are also known, though they are rare, and might be metaphorical. To my best knowledge nothing changed since Olga Drewnowska-Rymarz’s monograph, in which she notes she only found three examples of texts preserving this tradition. I would personally abstain from trying to read too deep into it, given this scarcity. Other traditions regarding Nanaya’s parentage are better attested. In multiple cases, she “borrows” Inanna’s conventional genealogy, and as a result is addressed as a daughter of Sin (Nanna), the moon god. However, she was never addressed as Inanna’s sister: it seems that in cases where Sin and Nanaya are connected, she effectively “usurps” Inanna’s own status as his daughter (and as the sister of Shamash, while at it). Alternatively, she could be viewed as a daughter of Anu. Finally, there is a peculiar tradition which was the default in laments: in this case, Nanaya was described as a daughter of Urash. The name in this context does not refer to the wife of Anu, though. The deity meant is instead a small time farmer god from Dilbat. To my best knowledge no sources place Nanaya in the proximity of other members of Urash’s family, though some do specify she was his firstborn daughter. To my best knowledge Urash had at least two other children, Lagamal (“no mercy”, an underworld deity whose gender is a matter of debate) and Ipte-bitam (“he opened the house”, as you can probably guess a divine doorkeeper). Nanaya’s mother by extension would presumably be Urash’s wife Ninegal, the tutelary goddess of royal palaces. There is actually a ritual text listing these three together. In the Weidner god list Nanaya appears after Ninshubur. Sadly, I found no evidence for a direct association between these two. For what it’s worth, they did share a highly specific role, that of a deity responsible for ordering around lamma. This term referred to a class of minor deities who can be understood as analogous to “guardian angels” in contemporary Christianity, except places and even deities had their own lamma too, not just people. Lamma can also be understood at once as a class of distinct minor deities, as the given name of individual members of it, and as a title of major deities. In an inscription of Gudea the main members of the official pantheon are addressed as “lamma of all nations”, by far one of my favorite collective terms of deities in Mesopotamian literature. A second important aspect of the Weidner god list is placing Nanaya right in front of Bizilla. The two also appear side by side in some offering lists and in the astronomical compendium MUL.APIN, where they are curiously listed as members of the court of Enlil. It seems that like Nanaya, she was a goddess of love, which is presumably reflected by her name. It has been variously translated as “pleasing”, “loving” or as a derivative of the verb “to strip”. An argument can be made that Bizilla was to Nanaya what Nanaya was to Inanna. However, she also had a few roles of her own. Most notably, she was regarded as the sukkal of Ninlil. She may or may not also have had some sort of connection to Nungal, the goddess of prisons, though it remains a matter of debate if it’s really her or yet another, accidentally similarly named, goddess.

An indistinct Hurro-Hittite depiction of Ishara from the Yazilikaya sanctuary (wikimedia commons)

In love incantations, Nanaya belonged to an informal group which also included Inanna, Ishara, Kanisurra and Gazbaba. I do not think Inanna’s presence needs to be explained. Ishara had an independent connection with Inanna and was a multi-purpose deity to put it very lightly; in the realm of love she was particularly strongly connected with weddings and wedding nights. Kanisurra and Gazbaba warrant a bit more discussion, because they are arguably Nanaya’s supporting cast first and foremost. Gazbaba is, at the core, seemingly simply the personification of kuzbu. Her name had pretty inconsistent orthography, and variants such as Kazba or Gazbaya can be found in primary sources too. The last of them pretty clearly reflects an attempt at making her name resemble Nanaya’s. Not much can be said about her individual character beyond the fact she was doubtlessly related to love and/or sex. She is described as the “grinning one” in an incantation which might be a sexual allusion too, seeing as such expressions are a mainstay of Akkadian erotic poetry. Kanisurra would probably win the award for the fakest sounding Mesopotamian goddess, if such a competition existed. Her name most likely originated as a designation of the gate of the underworld, ganzer. Her default epithet was “lady of the witches” (bēlet kaššāpāti). And on top of that, like Nanaya and Gazbaba she was associated with sex. She certainly sounds more like a contemporary edgy oc of the Enoby Dimentia Raven Way variety than a bronze age goddess - and yet, she is completely genuine. It is commonly argued Kanisurra and Gazbaba were regarded as Nanaya’s daughters, but there is actually no direct evidence for this. In the only text where their relation to Nanaya is clearly defined they are described as her hairdressers, rather than children. While in some cases the love goddesses appear in love incantations in company of each other almost as if they were some sort of disastrous polycule, occasionally Nanaya is accompanied in them by an anonymous spouse. Together they occur in parallel with Inanna and Dumuzi and Ishara and Almanu, apparently a (accidental?) deification of a term referring to someone without family obligations. There is only one Old Babylonian source which actually assigns a specific identity to Nanaya’s spouse, a hymn dedicated to king Abi-eshuh of Babylon. An otherwise largely unknown god Muati (I patched up his wiki article just for the sake of this blog post) plays this role here. The text presents a curious case of reversal of gender roles: Muati is asked to intercede with Nanaya on behalf of petitioners. Usually this was the role of the wife - the best known case is Aya, the wife of Shamash, who is implored to do just that by Ninsun in the standard edition of the Epic of Gilgamesh. It’s also attested for goddesses such as Laz, Shala, Ninegal or Ninmug… and in the case of Inanna, for Ninshubur.

A Neo-Assyrian statue of Nabu on display in the Iraq Museum (wikimedia commons)

Marten Stol seems to treat Muati and Nabu as virtually the same deity, and on this basis states that Nanaya was already associated with the latter in the Old Babylonian period, but this seems to be a minority position. Other authors pretty consistently assume that Muati was a distinct deity at some point “absorbed” by Nabu. The oldest example of pairing Nanaya with Nabu I am aware of is an inscription dated to the reign of Marduk-apla-iddina I, so roughly to the first half of the twelfth century BCE. The rise of this tradition in the first millennium BCE was less theological and more political. With Babylon once again emerging as a preeminent power, local theologies were supposed to be subordinated to the one followed in the dominant city. Which, at the time, was focused on Nabu, Marduk and Zarpanit. Worth noting that Nabu also had a spouse before, Tashmetum (“reconciliation”). In the long run she was more or less ousted by Nanaya from some locations, though she retained popularity in the north, in Assyria. She is not exactly the most thrilling deity to discuss. I will confess I do not find the developments tied to Nanaya and Nabu to be particularly interesting to cover, but in the long run they might have resulted in Nanaya acquiring probably the single most interesting “supporting cast member” she did not share with Inanna, so we’ll come back to this later. Save for Bizilla, Nanaya generally was not provided with “equivalents” in god lists. I am only aware of one exception, and it’s a very recent discovery. Last year the first ever Akkadian-Amorite bilingual lists were published. This is obviously a breakthrough discovery, as before Amorite was largely known just from personal names despite being a vernacular language over much of the region in the bronze age, but only one line is ultimately of note here. In a section of one of the lists dealing with deities, Nanaya’s Amorite counterpart is said to be Pidray. This goddess is otherwise almost exclusively known from Ugarit. This of course fits very well with the new evidence: recent research generally stresses that Ugarit was quintessentially an Amorite city (the ruling house even claimed descent from mythical Ditanu, who is best known from the grandiose fictional genealogies of Shamshi-Adad I and the First Dynasty of Babylon). Sadly, we do not know how the inhabitants of Ugarit viewed Nanaya. A trilingual version of the Weidner list, with the original version furnished with columns listing Ugaritic and Hurrian counterparts of each deity, was in circulation, but the available copies are too heavily damaged to restore it fully. And to make things worse, much of it seems to boil down to scribal wordplay and there is no guarantee all of the correspondences are motivated theologically. For instance, the minor Mesopotamian goddess Imzuanna is presented as the counterpart of Ugaritic weather god Baal because her name contains a sign used as a shortened logographic writing of the latter. An even funnier case is the awkward attempt at making it clear the Ugaritic sun deity Shapash, who was female, is not a lesbian… by making Aya male. Just astonishing, really.

The worship of Nanaya

A speculative reconstruction of Ur III Uruk with the Eanna temple visible in the center (Artefacts — Scientific Illustration & Archaeological Reconstruction; reproduced here for educational purposes only, as permitted)

Rather fittingly, as a deity associated with Inanna, Nanaya was worshiped chiefly in Uruk. She is also reasonably well attested in the inscriptions of the short-lived local dynasty which regained independence near the end of the period of domination of Larsa over Lower Mesopotamia. A priest named after her, a certain Iddin-Nanaya, for a time served as the administrator of her temple, the Enmeurur, “house which gathers all the me,” me being a difficult to translate term, something like “divine powers”. The acquisition of new me is a common topic in Mesopotamian literature, and in compositions focused on Inanna in particular, so it should not be surprising to anyone that her peculiar double seemingly had similar interests. In addition to Uruk, as well as Nippur and Ur, after the Ur III period Nanaya spread to multiple other cities, including Isin, Mari, Babylon and Kish. However, she is probably by far the best attested in Larsa, where she rose to the rank of one of the main deities, next to Utu, Inanna, Ishkur and Nergal. She had her own temple, the Eshahulla, “house of a happy heart”. In local tradition Inanna got to keep her role as an “universal” major goddess and her military prerogatives, but Nanaya overtook the role of a goddess of love almost fully. Inanna’s astral aspect was also locally downplayed, since Venus was instead represented in the local pantheon by closely associated, but firmly distinct, Ninsianna. This deity warrants some more discussion in the future just due to having a solid claim to being one of the first genderfluid literary figures in history, but due to space constraints this cannot be covered in detail here. A later inscription from the same city differentiates between Nanaya and Inanna by giving them different epithets: Nanaya is the “queen of Uruk and Eanna” (effectively usurping Nanaya’s role) while Inanna is the “queen of Nippur” (that’s actually a well documented hypostasis of her, not to be confused with the unrelated “lady of Nippur”). Uruk was temporarily abandoned in the late Old Babylonian period, but that did not end Nanaya’s career. Like Inanna, she came to be temporarily relocated to Kish. It has been suggested that a reference to her residence in “Kiššina” in a Hurro-Hittite literary text, the Tale of Appu, reflects her temporary stay there. The next centuries of Nanaya are difficult to reconstruct due to scarce evidence, but it is clear she continued to be worshiped in Uruk. By the Neo-Babylonian period she was recognized as a member of an informal pentad of the main deities of the city, next to Inanna, Urkayitu, Usur-amassu and Beltu-sa-Resh. Two of them warrant no further discussion: Urkayitu was most likely a personification of the city, and Beltu-sa-Resh despite her position is still a mystery to researchers. Usur-amassu, on the contrary, is herself a fascinating topic. First attestations of this deity, who was seemingly associated with law and justice (a pretty standard concern), come back to the Old Babylonian period. At this point, Usur-amassu was clearly male, which is reflected by the name. He appears in the god list An = Anum as a son of the weather deity couple par excellence, Adad (Ishkur) and Shala. However, by the early first millennium BCE Usur-amassu instead came to be regarded as female - without losing the connection to her parents. She did however gain a connection to Inanna, Nanaya and Kanisurra, which she lacked earlier. How come remains unknown. Most curiously her name was not modified to reflect her new gender, though she could be provided with a determinative indicating it. This recalls the case of Lagamal in the kingdom of Mari some 800 years earlier.

The end of the beginning: Nanaya under Achaemenids and Seleucids

Trilingual (Persian, Elamite and Akkadian) inscription of the first Achamenid ruler of Mesopotamia, Cyrus (wikimedia commons)

After the fall of the Neo-Babylonian Empire Mesopotamia ended up under Achaemenid control, which in turn was replaced by the Seleucids. Nanaya flourished through both of these periods. In particular, she attained considerable popularity among Arameans. While they almost definitely first encountered her in Uruk, she quickly came to be venerated by them in many distant locations, like Palmyra, Hatra and Dura Europos in Syria. She even appears in a single Achaemenid Aramaic papyrus discovered in Elephantine in Egypt. It indicates that she was worshiped there by a community which originated in Rash, an area east to the Tigris. As a curiosity it’s worth mentioning the same source is one of the only attestations of Pidray from outside Ugarit. I do not think this has anything to do with the recently discovered connection between her and Nanaya… but you may never know. Under the Seleucids, Nanaya went through a particularly puzzling process of partial syncretism. Through interpretatio graeca she was identified with… Artemis. How did this work? The key to understanding this is the fact Seleucids actually had a somewhat limited interest in local deities. All that was necessary was to find relatively major members of the local pantheon who could roughly correspond to the tutelary deities of their dynasty: Zeus, Apollo and Artemis. Zeus found an obvious counterpart in Marduk (even though Marduk was hardly a weather god). Since Nabu was Marduk’s son, he got to be Apollo. And since Nanaya was the most major goddess connected to Nabu, she got to be Artemis. It really doesn’t go deeper than that. For what it’s worth, despite the clear difference in character this newfound association did impact Nanaya in at least one way: she started to be depicted with attributes borrowed from Artemis, namely a bow and a crescent. Or perhaps these attributes were already associated with her, but came to the forefront because of the new role. The Artemis-like image of Nanaya as an archer is attested on coins, especially in Susa, yet another city where she attained considerable popularity.

Leaving Mesopotamia: Nanaya and the death of cuneiform

A Parthian statue of Nanaya with a crescent diadem (Louvre; reproduced here for educational purposes only. Identification follows Andrea Sinclair's proposal)

The Seleucid dynasty was eventually replaced by the Parthians. This period is often considered a symbolic end of ancient Mesopotamian religion in the strict sense. Traditional religious institutions were already slowly collapsing in Achaemenid and Seleucid times as the new dynasties had limited interest in royal patronage. Additionally, cuneiform fell out of use, and by the end of the first half of the first millennium CE the art of reading and writing it was entirely lost. This process did not happen equally quickly everywhere, obviously, and some deities fared better than others in the transitional period before the rise of Christianity and Islam as the dominant religions across the region. Nanaya was definitely one of them, at least for a time. In Parthian art Nanaya might have developed a distinct iconography: it has been argued she was portrayed as a nude figure wearing only some jewelry (including what appears to be a navel piercing and a diadem with a crescent. The best known example is probably this standing figure, one of my all time favorite works of Mesopotamian art:

Parthian Nanaya (wikimedia commons; identification courtesy of the Louvre website and J. G. Westenholz)

For years Wikipedia had this statue mislabeled as “Astarte” which makes little sense considering it comes from a necropolis near Babylon. There was also a viral horny tweet which labeled it as “Asherah” a few months ago (I won’t link it but I will point out in addition to getting the name wrong op also severely underestimated the size). This is obviously even worse nonsense both on spatial and temporal grounds. Even if the biblical Asherah was ever an actual deity like Ugaritic Athirat and Mesopotamian Ashratum, it is highly dubious she would still be worshiped by the time this statue was made. It’s not even certain she ever was a deity, though. Cognate of a theonym is not automatically a theonym itself, and the Ugaritic texts and the Bible, even if they share some topoi, are separated by centuries and a considerable distance. This is not an Asherah post though, so if this is a topic which interests you I recommend downloading Steve A. Wiggins’ excellent monograph A Reassessment of Asherah: With Further Considerations of the Goddess.

The last evidence for the worship of Nanaya in Mesopotamia is a Mandaean spell from Nippur, dated to the fifth or sixth century CE. However, at this point Nanaya must have been a very faint memory around these parts, since the figure designated by this name is evidently male in this formula. That was not the end of her career, though. The system of beliefs she originated and thrived in was on its way out, but there were new frontiers to explore. A small disgression is in order here: be INCREDIBLY wary of claims about the survival of Mesopotamian tradition in Mesopotamia itself past the early middle ages. Most if not all of these come from the writing of Simo Parpola, who is a 19th century style hyperdiffusionist driven by personal religious beliefs based on gnostic christianity, which he believes was based on Neo-Assyrian state religion, which he misinterprets as monotheism, or rather proto-christianity specifically (I wish I was making this up). I personally do not think a person like that should be tolerated in serious academia, but for some incomprehensible reason that isn’t the case. 

New frontiers: Nanaya in Bactria

The key to Nanaya’s extraordinarily long survival wasn’t the dedication to her in Mesopotamia, surprisingly. It was instead her introduction to Bactria, a historical area in Central Asia roughly corresponding to parts of modern Afghanistan, Tajikistan and Uzbekistan. The early history of this area is still poorly known, though it is known that it was one of the “cradles of civilization” not unlike Mesopotamia, the Indus Valley or Mesoamerica. The so-called “Oxus civilization” or “Bactria-Margiana Archaeological Complex” flourished around 2500-1950 BCE (so roughly contemporarily with the Akkadian and Ur III empires in Mesopotamia). It left behind no written records, but their art and architecture are highly distinctive and reflect great social complexity. I sadly can’t spent much time discussing them here though, as they are completely irrelevant to the history of Nanaya (there is a theory that she was already introduced to the east when BMAC was extant but it is incredibly implausible), so I will limit myself to showing you my favorite related work of art, the “Bactrian princess”:

Photo courtesy of Louvre Abu Dhabi, reproduced here for educational purposes only.

By late antiquity, which is the period we are concerned with here, BMAC was long gone, and most of the inhabitants of Bactria spoke Bactrian, an extinct Iranian language. How exactly they were related to their BMAC forerunners is uncertain. Their religious beliefs can be compared to Zoroastrianism, or rather with its less formalized forerunners followed by most speakers of Iranian languages before the rise of Zoroaster. However, there were many local peculiarities. For example, the main deity was the personified river Oxus, not Ahura Mazda. Whether this was a relic of BMAC religion is impossible to tell.We do not know exactly when the eastward transfer of Nanaya to Bactria happened. The first clear evidence for her presence in central Asia comes from the late first century BCE, from the coins of local rulers, Sapadbizes and Agesiles. It is possible that her depictions on coinage of Mesopotamian and Persian rulers facilitated her spread. Of course, it’s also important to remember that the Aramaic script and language spread far to the east in the Achaemenid period already, and that many of the now extinct Central Asian scripts were derived from it (Bactrian was written with the Greek script, though). Doubtlessly many now lost Aramaic texts were transferred to the east. There’s an emerging view that for unclear reasons, under the Achaemenids Mesopotamian culture as a whole had unparalleled impact on Bactria. The key piece of evidence are Bactrian temples, which often resemble Mesopotamian ones. Therefore, perhaps we should be wondering not why Nanaya spread from Mesopotamia to Central Asia, but rather why there were no other deities who did, for the most part. That is sadly a question I cannot answer. Something about Nanaya simply made her uniquely appealing to many groups at once. While much about the early history of Nanaya in Central Asia is a mystery, it is evident that with time she ceased to be viewed as a foreign deity. For the inhabitants of Bactria she wasn’t any less “authentically Iranian” than the personified Oxus or their versions of the conventional yazatas like Sraosha. Frequently arguments are made that Nanaya’s widespread adoption and popularity could only be the result of identification between her and another deity.Anahita in particular is commonly held to be a candidate. However, as stressed by recent studies there’s actually no evidence for this. What is true is that Anahita is notably missing from the eastern Iranian sources, despite being prominent in the west from the reign of the Achaemenid emperor Artaxerxes II onward. However, it is clear that not all yazatas were equally popular in each area - pantheons will inevitably be localized in each culture. Furthermore, Anahita’s character has very little in common with Nanaya save for gender. Whether we are discussing her early not quite Zoroastrian form the Achaemenid public was familiar with or the contemporary yazata still relevant in modern Zoroastrianism, the connection to water is the most important feature of her. Nanaya didn’t have such a role in any culture. Recently some authors suggested a much more obvious explanation for Anahita’s absence from the eastern Iranian pantheon(s). As I said, eastern Iranian communities venerated the river Oxus as a deity (or as a yazata, if you will). He was the water god par excellence, and in Bactria also the king of the gods. It is therefore quite possible that Anahita, despite royal backing from the west, simply couldn’t compete with him. Their roles overlapped more than the roles of Anahita and Nanaya. I am repeating myself but the notion of interchangeability of goddesses really needs to be distrusted almost automatically, no matter how entrenched it wouldn’t be. While we’re at it, the notion of alleged interchangeability between Anahita and Ishtar is also highly dubious, but that’s a topic for another time.

Nana (Nanaya) on a coin of Kanishka (wikimedia commons)

Nanaya experienced a period of almost unparalleled prosperity with the rise of the Kushan dynasty in Bactria. The Kushans were one of the groups which following Chinese sources are referred to as Yuezhi. They probably did not speak any Iranian language originally, and their origin is a matter of debate. However, they came to rule over a kingdom which consisted largely of areas inhabited by speakers of various Iranian languages, chiefly Bactrian. Their pantheon, documented in royal inscriptions and on coinage, was an eerie combination of mainstays of Iranian beliefs like Sraosha and Mithra and some unique figures, like Oesho, who was seemingly the reflection of Hindu Shiva. Obviously, Nanaya was there too, typically under the shortened name Nana. The most famous Kushan ruler, emperor Kanishka, in his inscription from Rabatak states that kingship was bestowed upon him by “Nana and all the gods”. However, we do not know if the rank assigned to her indicates she was the head of the dynastic pantheon, the local pantheon in the surrounding area, or if she was just the favorite deity of Kanishka. Same goes for the rank of numerous other deities mentioned in the rest of the inscription. Her apparent popularity during Kanishka’s reign and beyond indicates her role should not be downplayed, though. The coins of Kanishka and other Bactrian art indicate that a new image of Nanaya developed in Central Asia. The Artemis-like portrayals typical for Hellenistic times continue to appear, but she also started to be depicted on the back of a lion. There is only one possible example of such an image from the west, a fragmentary relief from Susa, and it’s roughly contemporary with the depictions from Bactria. While it is not impossible Nanaya originally adopted the lion association from one of her Mesopotamian peers, it is not certain how exactly this specific type of depictions originally developed, and there is a case to be made that it owed more to the Hellenistic diffusion of iconography of deities such as Cybele and Dionysus, who were often depicted riding on the back of large felines. The lunar symbols are well attested in the Kushan art of Nanaya too. Most commonly, she’s depicted wearing a diadem with a crescent. However, in a single case the symbol is placed behind her back. This is an iconographic type which was mostly associated with Selene at first, but in the east it was adopted for Mah, the Iranian personification of the moon. I’d hazard a guess that’s where Nanaya borrowed it from - more on that later. The worship of Nanaya survived the fall of the Kushan dynasty, and might have continued in Bactria as late as in the eighth century. However, the evidence is relatively scarce, especially compared with yet another area where she was introduced in the meanwhile.

Nanaya in Sogdia: new home and new friends

A Sogdian depiction of Nanaya from Bunjikat (wikimedia commons)

Presumably from Bactria, Nanaya was eventually introduced to Sogdia, its northern neighbor. I think it’s safe to say this area effectively became her new home for the rest of her history. Like Bactrians, the Sogdians also spoke an eastern Iranian language, Sogdian. It has a direct modern descendant, Yaghnobi, spoken by a small minority in Tajikistan. The religions Sogdians adhered to is often described as a form of Zoroastrianism, especially in older sources, but it would appear that Ahura Mazda was not exactly the most popular deity. Their pantheon was seemingly actually headed by Nanaya. Or, at the very least, the version of it typical for Samarkand and Panijkant, since there’s a solid case to be made for local variety in the individual city-states which made up Sogdia. It seems that much like Mesopotamians and Greeks centuries before them, Sogdians associated specific deities with specific cities, and not every settlement necessarily venerated each deity equally (or at all). Nanaya's remarkable popularity is reflected by the fact the name Nanaivandak, "servant of Nanaya", is one of the most common Sogdian names in general. It is agreed that among the Sogdians Panjikant was regarded as Nanaya’s cult center. She was referred to as “lady” of this city. At one point, her temple located there was responsible for minting the local currency. By the eighth century, coins minted there were adorned with dedications to her - something unparalleled in Sogdian culture, as the rest of coinage was firmly secular. This might have been an attempt at reasserting Sogdian religious identity in the wake of the arrival of Islam in Central Asia. Sogdians adopted the Kushan iconography of Nanaya, though only the lion-mounted version. The connection between her and this animal was incredibly strong in Sogdian art, with no other deity being portrayed on a similar mount. There were also innovations - Nanaya came to be frequently portrayed with four arms. This reflects the spread of Buddhism through central Asia, which brought new artistic conventions from India. While the crescent symbol can still be found on her headwear, she was also portrayed holding representations of the moon and the sun in two of her hands. Sometimes the solar disc and lunar orb are decorated with faces, which has been argued to be evidence that Nanaya effectively took over the domains of Mah and Mithra, who would be the expected divine identities of these two astral bodies. She might have been understood as controlling the passage of night and day. It has also been pointed out that this new iconographic type is the natural end point of the evolution of her astral role. Curiously, while no such a function is attested for Nanaya in Bactria, in Sogdia she could be sometimes regarded as a warlike deity. This is presumably reflected in a painting showing her and an unidentified charioteer fighting demons.

The "Sogdian Deities" painting from Dunhuang, a possible depiction of Nanaya and her presumed spouse Tish (wikimedia commons)

Probably the most fascinating development regarding Nanaya in Sogdia was the development of an apparent connection between her and Tish. This deity was the Sogdian counterpart of one of the best known Zoroastrian yazatas, Tishtrya, the personification of Sirius. As described in the Tištar Yašt, the latter is a rainmaking figure and a warlike protector who keeps various nefarious forces, such as Apaosha, Duzyariya and the malign “worm stars” (comets), at bay. Presumably his Sogdian counterpart had a similar role. While this is not absolutely certain, it is generally agreed that Nanaya and Tish were regarded as a couple in central Asia (there’s a minority position she was instead linked with Oesho, though). Most likely the fact that in Achaemenid Persia Tishtrya was linked with Nabu (and by extension with scribal arts) has something to do with this. There is a twist to this, though. While both Nabu and the Avestan Tishtrya are consistently male, in Bactria and Sogdia the corresponding deity’s gender actually shows a degree of ambiguity. On a unique coin of Kanishka, Tish is already portrayed as a feminine figure distinctly similar to Greek Artemis - an iconographic type which normally would be recycled for Nanaya. There’s also a possibility that a feminine, or at least crossdressing, version of Tish is portrayed alongside Nanaya on a painting from Dunhuang conventionally referred to as “Sogdian Daēnās” or “Sogdian Deities”, but this remains uncertain. If this identification is correct, it indicates outright interchange of attributes between them and Nanaya was possible.

The final frontier: Nanaya and the Sogdian diaspora in China Sogdians also brought Nanaya with them to China, where many of them settled in the Six Dynasties and Tang periods. An obviously Sinicized version of her, accompanied by two attendants of unknown identity, is portrayed on a Sogdian funerary couch presently displayed in the Miho Museum.

Nanaya (top) on a relief from the Miho funerary couch (Miho Museum; reproduced here for educational purposes only)

For the most part the evidence is limited to theophoric names, though. Due to unfamiliarity with Sogdian religious traditions and phonetic differences between the languages there was no consistent Chinese transcription of Nanaya’s name. I have no clue if Chinese contemporaries of the Sogdians were always aware of these elements in personal names referred to a deity. There is a fringe theory that Nanaya was referred to as Nantaihou (那那女主, “queen Nana”) in Chinese. However, the evidence is apparently not compelling, and as I understand the theory depends in no small part on the assertion that a hitherto unattested alternate reading of one of the signs was in use on the western frontiers of China in the early first millennium CE. The alleged Nantaihou is therefore most likely a misreading of a reference to a deceased unnamed empress dowager venerated through conventional ancestor worship, as opposed to Nanaya. Among members of the Sogdian diaspora, in terms of popularity Nanaya was going head to head with Jesus and Buddha. The presence of the latter two reflected the adoption of, respectively, Manichaeism and Buddhism. Manicheans seemingly were not fond of Nanaya, though, and fragments of a polemic against her cult have been identified. It seems ceremonies focused on lamentations were the main issue for the Manichaeans. Sadly there doesn’t seem to be any worthwhile study of possible Mesopotamian influence on that - the only one I found is old and confuses Nanaya with Inanna. We do not have much of an idea how Buddhists viewed Nanaya, though it is worth noting a number of other Sogdian deities were incorporated into the local form of Mahayana (unexpectedly, one of them was Zurvan). It has also been argued that a Buddhist figure, Vreshman (Vaisravana) was incorporated into Nanaya’s entourage. Nanaya might additionally be depicted in a painting showing Buddha’s triumph over Mara from Dunhuang. Presumably her inclusion would reflect the well attested motif of local deities converting to Buddhism. It was a part of the Buddhist repertoire from the early days of this religion and can be found in virtually every area where this religion ever spread. Nanaya is once again in elevated company here, since other figures near her have been tentatively interpreted as Shiva, Vishnu, Kartikeya and… Zoroaster.

Buddha conquering Mara (maravijaya) on a painting from Dunhuang (wikimedia commons)

zoom in on a possible depiction of Nanaya next to a demon suspiciously similar to Tove Jansson’s Fillyjonk

To my best knowledge, the last absolutely certain attestation of Nanaya as an actively worshiped deity also comes from the western frontier of China. A painting from Dandan Oilik belonging to the artistic tradition of the kingdom of Khotan shows three deities from the Sogdian pantheon: the enigmatic Āδβāγ (“highest god”; interpreted as either Indra, Ahura Mazda or a combination of them both) on the left, Weshparkar (a later version of Kushan Oesho) on the right and Nanaya in the center. It dates to the ninth or tenth century.

Nanaya (center) on the Dandan Oilik painting (wikimedia commons)

We will probably never know what Nanaya’s last days were like, though it is hard to imagine she retained much relevance with the gradual disappearance of Sogdian culture both in Sogdia and in China in the wake of, respectively, the rise of Islam in Central Asia and the An Lushan rebellion respectively. Her history ultimately most likely ended with a whimper rather than a bang. Conclusions and reflections Obviously, not everything about Nanaya could be covered in this article - there is enough material to warrant not one, but two wiki articles (and I don't even think they are extensive enough yet). I hope I did nonetheless manage to convey what matters: she was the single most enduring Mesopotamian deity who continued to be actually worshiped. She somehow outlived Enlil, Marduk, Nergal and even Inanna, and spread further than any of them ever did. It does not seem like her persistence was caused by some uniquely transcendent quality, and more to a mix of factors we will never really fully understand and pure luck. She is a far cry from the imaginary everlasting universal goddesses such longevity was attributed to by many highly questionable authors in the past, from Frazer to Gimbutas. Quite the opposite, once you look into the texts focused on her she comes across as sort of pathetic. After all, most of them are effectively ancient purple prose. And yet, this is precisely why I think Nanaya matters. To see how an author approaches her is basically a litmus test of trustworthiness - I wish I was kidding but this “Nanaya method” works every time. To even be able to study her history, let alone understand it properly, one has to cast away most of the dreadful trends which often hindered scholarship of ancient deities, and goddesses in particular, in the past. The interchangeability of goddesses; the Victorian mores and resulting notion that eroticism must be tied to fertility; the weird paradigms about languages neatly corresponding to religions; and many others. And if nothing else, this warrants keeping the memory of her 3000 years long history alive through scholarship (and, perhaps, some media appearances). Bibliography

Julia M. Asher-Greve & Joan Goodnick Westenholz, Goddesses in Context: On Divine Powers, Roles, Relationships and Gender in Mesopotamian Textual and Visual Sources (2013)

Paul-Alain Beaulieu, The Pantheon of Uruk During the Neo-Babylonian Period (2003)

idem, Nabû and Apollo: The Two Faces of Seleucid Religious Policy in: Orient und Okzident in Hellenistischer Zeit (2014)

Matteo Compareti, Nana and Tish in Sogdiana (2017)

idem, The So-Called "Pelliot Chinois 4518.24". Illustrated Document from Dunhuang and Sino-Sogdian Iconographical Contacts (2021)

Olga Drewnowska-Rymarz, Mesopotamian Goddess Nanāja (2008)

Benjamin R. Foster, Before the Muses: an Anthology of Akkadian Literature (2005)

Andrew R. George & Manfred Krebernik, Two Remarkable Vocabularies: Amorite-Akkadian Bilinguals! (2022)

Valerie Hansen, Kageyama Etsuko & Yutaka Yoshida, The Impact of the Silk Road Trade on a Local Community: The Turfan Oasis, 500-800 in: Les sogdiens en Chine (2005)

Wilfred G. Lambert, Babylonian Creation Myths (2013)

Enrico Marcato, An Aramaic Incantation Bowl and the Fall of Hatra (2020)

Christa Müller-Kessler & Karlheinz Kessler, Spätbabylonische Gottheiten in spätantiken mandäischen Texten (1999)

Lilla Russel-Smith, Uygur Patronage in Dunhuang. Regional Art Centres on the Northern Silk Road in the Tenth and Eleventh Centuries (2005)

idem, The 'Sogdian Deities' Twenty Years on: A Reconsideration of a Small Painting from Dunhuang in: Buddhism in Central Asia II. Practices and Rituals, Visual and Material Transfer (2022)

Tonia M. Sharlach, An Ox of One's Own. Royal Wives and Religion at the Court of the Third Dynasty of Ur (2017)

Michael Shenkar, Intangible Spirits and Graven Images: The Iconography of Deities in the Pre-Islamic Iranian World (2014)

idem, The Religion and the Pantheon of the Sogdians (5th-8th Centuries CE) in Light of their Sociopolitical Structures (2017)

idem, The So-Called "Fravašis" and the "Heaven and Hell" Paintings, and the Cult of Nana in Panjikent (2022)

Marten Stol, Nanaja in: Reallexikon der Assyriologie, vol. 9 (1998)

Michael P. Streck & Nathan Wasserman, More Light on Nanāya (2013)

Aaron Tugendhaft, Gods on Clay: Ancient Near Eastern Scholarly Practices and the History of Religions in: Canonical Texts and Scholarly Practices. A Global Comparative Approach (2016)

Joan Goodnick Westenholz, Nanaya, Lady of Mystery in: Sumerian Gods and Their Representations (1997)

idem, Trading the Symbols of the Goddess Nanaya in: Religions and Trade. Religious Formation, Transformation and Cross-Cultural Exchange between East and West (2014)

Xinjiang Rong, The Colophon of the Manuscript of the Golden Light Sutra Excavated in Turfan and the Transmission of Zoroastrianism to Gaochang in: The Silk Road and Cultural Exchanges between East and West (2022)

Gioele Zisa, The Loss of Male Sexual Desire in Ancient Mesopotamia. ›Nīš Libbi‹ Therapies (2021)

[bookshelf-dust]

love and mandrakes

sirius black x gn!reader

word count: 5,220

warnings: swearing, fluff, i think that's literally it, but let me know if it's not

a/n: hi! so this is new!!! a new character!! sirius black is the loml, and i've been working on this for what feels like forever. i'm really proud of it, and i hope that maybe some of you will like it. it's been very fun to explore a new universe and the marauders as a whole. i hope you enjoy this!! love you 3000 <333

————

The greenhouse windows are frosty this morning, and you can feel the chill seeping in through the thin glass panes. You fight the urge to lift your finger, using the tip to draw a face in the condensation gathering on the one nearest you. 

You’re stood at the back of the greenhouse, like always. You’ve never liked to be very close to Professor Sprout–certainly not because of any disdain towards the woman–but for the fear that she’d have something negative to say about your work. This is despite the fact that she’s been nothing but kind to you regarding every plant that’s ever been in your care.

Really it’s just that you’d beat yourself up if you killed a plant that makes you so determined to do well.

You’re twenty minutes early for class today. Early enough that it’s just you and Professor Sprout in the greenhouse. Everyone else likes to stumble in within the five minutes before class begins.

But clearly, that’s not quite the case this morning. The greenhouse doors open, both rather than just one, and Professor Sprout turns to greet whoever it is.

“Good morning, Mr. Black.”

You look up. Sirius Black is never early to class. If anything, he’s usually either not there at all, or the absolute last one to find his way in, perhaps a half hour late, if not more. He sidles up to Remus Lupin, and suddenly they've got a lovely little group project on their hands.

“Remus won’t be in today, Professor.” Sirius gives her a look that you assume is supposed to induce sympathy on her part. “Seems he’s got a cold.”

Pomona has never found it in herself to be frustrated with the boy, unlike the majority of her colleagues. She’s one of the few professors at the school to not harbor particularly malicious feelings towards the boy. He might be a troublemaker, but who isn’t at that age? 

She’s been briefed on what his home life is like, too, and who he has to put up with. And since she was a young girl, Pomona has been determined to give everyone a fair chance.

"Thank you for letting me know," she tells him.

You watch as Professor Sprout heads to a supply closet and begins to pull out heaps of gloves and what look to be earmuffs, messily tossing away the things she doesn’t need. You're lost in observing her, so consequently the voice sounding a few inches from your ear startles you.

"You always in this early?" Sirius has materialized next to you, the beginnings of a smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. 

You glance at his hand where it lingers over the stem of a plant you’re not sure he should dare to touch. He’s got a ring on every finger excepting his thumb.

“Usually,” you say. It occurs to you that these are some of the first words you've ever spoken to the boy, if you don’t count bare minimum exchanges in the odd class. “I like it back here.”

You like it back there because less people can look at you. Because having to sit somewhere else stresses you out, not to mention throws you off. You feel safe in your little corner. 

Sirius withdraws his hand from the questionable plant and raises his head. His eyes bore into yours. They’re the strangest shade of blue. It seems to shift in the light, and sometimes they look almost gray. He grins, and then begins to scan the area around the both of you.

“Suppose it is nice. Maybe I’ll stay back here with you. Wouldn’t want you to be lonely, you know.” 

You snort at that and he quirks a brow at your amusement. Sirius pushes his hair behind his ear and you realize he’s got a silver industrial piercing.

“That hurt too bad?” You ask, gesturing towards the jewelry and hoping he knows what you mean. He does.

His thumb skips over the metal ball at one end, coming back to fiddle with a section of his robes. He leans forward, grinning at you. His smile is wide. The corners of his mouth tick up mischievously, smile lines conveying layers of mischief you know he must have hidden in that mind of his. 

“Probably wouldn’t have as much if I’d gone to a shop.”

You gasp lightly, thinking about it getting infected and Sirius having a bloody mess on his hands.

“You did it yourself?” You ask, eyes wide and full of concern.

He laughs. It’s a gorgeous sound, deep and friendly. Warm.

“I was prohibited,” he says, pressing a scandalized hand to his chest. “Remus did it for me over break, while my brother played nurse.”

“Well it looks nice,” you tell him, palms beginning to sweat. You find his presence to be slightly overwhelming. “I mean I think so.”

“Thank you, sweets.” He bends slightly at the waist, hand over his stomach, and it’s a gesture you might take as being that of an asshole, if it weren’t for his voice being so kind.

You hum in place of a you’re welcome, trying to will away the swarm of butterflies in your tummy. They’re being rather aggressive. 

“And for the record,” he adds, “Remus was very strict with my cleaning regimen, so I did not get any infections if that’s what you’ve been contemplating.”

“That’s good.” You smile. You’re not sure it’s anywhere near as pretty as his.

Professor Sprout claps her hands, startling you. Today is really not your day. Sirius snorts at your jolt, but when you glance at him he’s pretending to be intensely focused on your instructor.

“Morning, everyone!” she begins. “Today, as you may have guessed, we will start our lessons on Mandrakes. This particular lesson will focus on basic knowledge, as well as care, but come next class, your actual project will begin.”

“You’re going to need a partner, so I’ll give you a few minutes now to choose, that way you can prepare with one another prior to the main exercise.”

All at once, everyone turns to this person and that, chattering and deliberating. It seems everyone has someone.

Your heart starts to pound, and you wonder if maybe Professor Sprout might let you work independently. Pairs are forming, and you can feel yourself being left out, pushed to the edges of society. Maybe that’s dramatic, but it’s how you feel. 

You lean against the table behind you, hoping that she won’t call you out for not having a partner. That is until there’s a figure in front of you.

“What’d you think, huh? Shall we work together?” Sirius stands so that you have no other choice but to look back at him. It’d come off rude to not maintain eye contact at this distance. 

You feel yourself burn and can’t help but wonder if this is some sort of cruel joke.

“Wouldn’t you rather wait and join Remus?” You ask, fingernails picking at the wooden underside of the table.

“You think I’m using you as a fill-in?”

You shrug, rubbing your nose. “We’ve quite literally never spoken an actual conversation before today. I just thought you’d want to work with your friend and not some stranger.”

“Well there’s a first for everything, isn’t there? And you’re not a stranger. I see you all the time.” 

You sigh. He grins, ever pleased with himself. 

“You don’t want to be friends with me?” He teases.

“I—”

“No, it’s quite alright. I’ll see if good ‘ol Mona will help me out.” He turns like he’s going to march away, though his feet barely move. He’s not going anywhere and you both know it. 

“Holy shit,” you start. “Just shut up. Go and get the gloves then.”

Sirius grins. “Demanding, aren’t we?”

He does go and get them though, returning with two sets of gloves and a pair of shears, as Professor Sprout had instructed.

“Today, we will focus on tending to your Mandrakes. I want you, in your pairs, to check the soil and water as needed. I also want you to trim the leaves, as these have been left to run amok for a while. To work!”

Chatter erupts around you, bouncing against the glass walls of the greenhouse.

You fetch a watering can while the area is still free, and Sirius fills it up for you. You notice that your Mandrake is severely lacking the soil it needs. It’s not very well off at all.

“Do you see this?” You ask him, gesturing towards where the roots are showing, clearly dehydrated and with nowhere to sprawl out and grow. “She’s got us treating the wounded.”

Sirius crosses his arms. “That’s a damn shame now, isn’t it? Guess we better heal this thing then.”

“Are you fucking with me?” You ask, eyes darting up to meet his.

“No, I swear. I can tell you’re into this. It’s not my best subject.”

“Well you know what they say.”

“What do they say?” His eyes are gleaming. That’s the best word you can think to use for it. 

“Teamwork makes the dream work.”

He rolls the very same eyes. “I’d like a new partner after that one.”

You laugh, and Sirius feels a pang in his chest. Like he’s taken a blade to the heart, and he can’t do anything but let it happen. Your laugh is such a sweet sound and he worries it might be the death of him.

You slip your gloves on and start trimming the leaves that have to go. There’s quite a few of them, but luckily they seem to be towards the bottom of the stem, and you think once you’re able to water it, the Mandrake might have a chance.

You finish with the shears, and set them down. You look up at Sirius, and your eyes catch a group of buttons on the shoulder of his robes. His hair had been covering them before. You find yourself feeling warm inside, as one in particular tickles your fancy.

“I like your pin,” you say.

His brows shoot up, “Which?”

You use your pinky and tap the glossy finish. He watches. “That one.”

“The Queen one?”

You nod, shoving some more soil into your pot to try and save the roots.

“You listen to them?” Sirius leans down so that his face is next to the Mandrake and in your line of sight. He’s got this brilliant grin. It’s worrying you. For a moment you think he might say something cruel, but the look in his eye is almost boyish.

“Yeah,” you say. “My mom is a muggle. Fell for a dorky wizard boy. So she’s raised me on loads of good stuff.”

“Lucky duck, you.”

You snort and then look up at him, though he's already been looking at you. His eyes haven't left you the whole time you've been working. He finds the way you treat the plant as if it has feelings to be charming. He wonders if you take care of everyone like that. Or maybe even yourself.

You move the soil pouch towards him. "You gonna help me?"

He slips his gloves back on. They really don't match anything he's wearing, and frankly it bothers him a bit. "Of course, of course."

He starts tending to the plant and you watch, noticing the bumps left in the gloves where his rings are hiding underneath.

"Feed her, Seymour," you say, and Sirius whips his head towards you.

"Who the fuck is Seymour?"

"Muggle film. Musical actually. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry for exposing your nerdiness. What's the film about? Talk to me," he proclaims, wincing at the state of his soil work.

“This guy, Seymour, finds a plant, and he tries to take care of it, you know, as you do, but he figures out it only wants blood and meat to eat and that’s what he feeds it, so it keeps growing and growing until it’s big enough that it starts eating people.”

Sirius looks at you with wonder in his eyes, and starts to laugh. "Are you fucking with me, love?"

You start to smile, one that you at first try to suppress, but it ends up spreading across your face, softening your features. Sirius thinks maybe it's the prettiest smile he's ever seen. He can't get over the way the lines around your mouth form, or the way your cheeks bunch and your eyes light up.

"No, I promise."

The boy tugs his gloves off, having finished salvaging the soil for your plant. "Killer plants, huh?"

"Indeed," you say. "You know Mandrakes are killer too, right?"

"Stop."

You start to water the plant, trying your best not to drown the damn thing. "What do you think the earmuffs are for, dumbass?"

You immediately regret calling him a dumbass, thinking you may have crossed a line--it's not like you know him all that well, you've only been speaking for this one class period--but he only smiles at you.

For some reason, you find him easy to be around. He doesn't scare you.

"It's cold."

"Because it's cold? No. After we save the plants we have to re-pot them, and when we take them out they're going to scream. Their cries are fatal, Sirius."

He stares at you. Remus did not tell him this. Technically he could've read his textbook, but clearly he didn't.

"That seems highly uncalled for."

You chuckle and he grins again.

"I agree,” you say. “Have you got the time?”

Sirius pushes his sleeve up, glancing at the watch tight around his left wrist. “We’ve got five minutes left.”

You look up, and notice Professor Sprout removing her gloves. If you’d waited to ask for just a moment longer, she would’ve begun her everyone-get-your-shit-together-and-get-out-of-here speech. 

“Students, your attention please!” Professor Sprout’s cheeks are rosy, tufts of curls sticking out from under the brim of her hat. 

“Next class we’ll try and get the Mandrakes repotted, so that they may grow to their full potential and can then be used as needed for Madam Pomphrey. You’ll need to come and water your plants periodically throughout the week, as these tend to drink rather quickly, so I suggest you alternate days with your companion.”

When you’ve finished and you’re outside once again, it’s misty, your skin dampening with each step you take. 

You feel a hand on your elbow, and Sirius has appeared next to you. Frankly, you hadn’t expected him to continue contact with you. 

The both of you had discussed what days you’d water you plant, and you assumed that was that. 

“I’ve realized we’re co-parenting a Mandrake,” he starts, “and I feel as though I should at least know a little something about the mother of my child.” You raise your eyebrows at him. “You know, to ensure that they don’t grow up lacking proper guardianship.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you say, hopping over a puddle. 

He tosses his head back, laughing, and you feel your insides go all warm and gooey at how his hair moves with the motion. You can’t help but wonder what it feels like. 

“First, you don’t want to be friends, and now, you want our child to be one of divorce.”

You stop, resting your forehead against the cool stone of one of the courtyard walls. 

“Sirius, we haven’t even been married.”

He presses his forehead against the stone next to you, and you turn to look at him. “I’m pretty sure there are a good bit of people who’ve been married and know less about each other than we do,” he says. 

You smile at the wall and he catches it. 

“Besides, we’ve got the same music taste, and that means I’ve got to keep you around.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, that’s how this works. Didn’t you know?”

You brush at the side of your robes where you’ve now gotten moss remains on them. “I was not aware, no.”

“Haven’t you got class or something?” You ask him. His cheeks are pink from the cold, a stark contrast from the chill of his eyes, the sharp black of his hair. 

“Not for another hour. You?” 

“Yeah, actually.”

“So tell me something quick.” He spins a ring around his finger, a chunky silver one with something set into the center. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Seriously?”

He smiles. It’s gorgeous and full-fledged. You can’t believe he’s looking at you like that. It feels like some big error. 

“Sorry I set myself up for that one,” you say. “Um, it’s green.”

“Lovely. Now what shade of green are we talking?”

“Sirius.” You pout. 

“Come on now, chop chop.” He snaps his fingers. “Thought you had an excuse to ditch me or something?”

You roll your eyes. It seems that cocky ass grin never leaves his face. “Like a forest green. Trees and such.”

Sirius claps his hands together, metal clinking. “That’s fantastic. I’ll be sure to remember it. Mine’s purple, by the way, thank you for asking.”

“I bet you look stunning in purple, Sirius.”

He blushes. He actually blushes. You grab for his wrist and push his sleeve up to peer at his watch. 

“I’ll see you around, okay?”

For the first time in a long time, Sirius Black hasn’t got shit to say. No one ever makes him blush. 

————

“I don’t come to class one day, and you’ve made a new friend? Why couldn’t you have made a new one any other day? I think I need some time off. Maybe even early retirement.” 

Sirius smacks Remus on the shoulder where the latter lays stretched out in bed. The curtains are drawn one one side so that the only person they’re visible to is James, who is half asleep in the neighboring bed, glasses askew and tie on the brink of choking him. 

“It’s rude to abuse the wounded.” 

“You’re off your rocker, Lupin.”

Remus rubs his face, though he winces, his arms much too sore for any sort of activity. “Tell me about it.” 

“Feeling any better today?” 

“Yes, Sirius. I’m feeling fucking wonderful.”

“He’s being sarcastic.” James’ voice is muffled by the pillow he’s collapsed into. 

Sirius turns to look at his friend. “Yeah, no shit, Prongs. Thank you so much for enlightening me.”

James raises a weak arm, flipping him off. “Eat me.”

“You say that as if I won’t do it.”

James sits up, but only enough so that he may rearrange himself into a poorly structured child’s pose. “Stop being such fucking tease and do it then, babe.”

Remus rubs his eyes aggressively, like it might somehow rid him of his ever permanent longing for sleep. “Shove it, you two.” He peeks out from between his fingers at Sirius. “I thought you were saying how you’ve made someone else miserable with the joys of your friendship.” 

“Fuck you,” Sirius says.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I did make a new friend. In herbology, since you decided to have a go with the moon and left me to perish.” Remus rolls his eyes. “They’re very kind, if you must know. We are co-parenting a Mandrake.”

James snorts into the mattress. 

“Is it really co-parenting if you’ll make them do all of the work?” Remus asks. 

James snorts again and Sirius leans over to smack him against the back. He lets out a pathetic cry that both of the other boys ignore. 

“I’m helping, asshole,” Sirius begins. “I’m supposed to go water the fucking thing in a bit if either of you need proof of life.” 

“Of your friend or of your child?” Remus reaches his arm out to grab hold of one of the bedposts and heave himself up. 

“Both.”

James slides off of his bed and starts to stretch, and a cacophony of cracking sounds follows, which is slightly concerning considering his age. “Sorry. I’m supposed to go and see Lils. But I expect a full report back, Moons.” He strips off his tie and pulls on a coat. The other two boys watch him bound across the room like they’re at a tennis match.  

James is gone so quickly you’d be amazed that he was half-asleep minutes before. 

“What a prick,” Sirius says from where he sits at the foot of Remus’ bed. He looks away from the door and at his friend. 

Sirius sets his hand on Remus’ knee. “You get any sleep this morning?” 

“Some. Not enough. Though it’s never enough, or whatever.” Sirius gets a pang in his chest. He wishes he could make it all better. 

“You want to get some fresh air? You can come with me to the greenhouses if you want, but you can stay here too. I’ll sneak down to the kitchens and get you something.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go with you. Sun’s not out, is it? It’ll kill my head.”

Sirius stands and peers beneath the drawn curtains. It’s cloudy, like it might storm, a thick layer of cloud lying over the grounds. “Nope. She’s hiding from you today.”

Remus nods and his friend walks back over to his bedside. “Come on, Rem.” 

He removes the blankets from over his lap and scoots to the edge of his mattress. Sirius holds out his hands for Remus to take. Sometimes he gets really woozy when he has to stand after nights like the last. His knees shake, but he’s steady once he’s up. Sirius keeps an arm around his back when there isn’t anyone in the halls to question Remus’ condition, but has to settle for watching his friends footing otherwise. 

Sirius gets Remus on a bench and makes a stop by Madam Pomphrey on the way, feigning a headache. She gives him a little bottle of these chewable tablets with instructions on how often to take them and tells him to come back if the ache persists. 

He hands the bottle to Remus when he’s finished, and the boy’s had the medicine for an entire four seconds before he’s chewing. It’s one of those headaches that stays dull, but any sudden movement and your entire skull is throbbing and he thinks he might just die. Remus thinks this every full moon. He is not dead. 

The trip to the greenhouse takes longer than usual, mainly because of Sirius’ tendency to baby Remus during his moon hangovers. He claims it’s because he doesn’t want a death on his hands, something about living up to the Black name, but Remus knows it’s really because Sirius is much more caring than he’d ever admit. 

“See? Look at this fucker. My child.” Sirius gestures dramatically at the potted plant. Remus leans up against one of the tables, only slightly amused, much more out of breath. 

He’s only just gone digging for a watering can when he hears the door open and glances up, assuming it’s another student having to monitor their own dirt ball. 

But it’s you. 

“What’s up, love?”

Remus’ eyebrows shoot up. He hadn’t realized when Sirius said he made a friend he actually meant friend. He’s never really seen Sirius look at someone that way. 

You stand by the doors, kicking the one you came through shut behind you. Sirius pretends like he’s not attracted to the movement. 

“Hi,” you say. You step a little further into the room. “I know it’s not my day to water, but frankly I was kind of worried you’d forget to do it.”

Remus turns to face you and laughs, full on. You grin at him. He’s never really looked at you before, but there’s no denying how sweet you look. He bets you could kick Sirius’ ass if you wanted. He also thinks Sirius might let you do it. 

Sirius straightens and flips his hair back as he does so. “You wound me.”

You shrug. “I was also slightly panicked you’d drown the thing, so there’s that.” 

Sirius walks over to the sinks, filling up his watering can, though you both know he could easily use a spell to do it instead. “So you came to supervise?”

“‘Fraid so.” You chew on the inside of your lip. 

“I don’t blame you,” Remus says. “He’s kind of a flake.”

“Fuck you, Rem.”

“Yeah, sure.” Remus pushes off of the table, moving in the direction of you and the doors. His head is starting to feel better. He leans in next to you, though his voice is anything but a whisper. “I don’t know why you’re putting up with him. Would’ve asked for a different partner myself.”

“She picked me!” You laugh, seeing Sirius put his hands on his hips out of the corner of your eye. 

Remus raises a brow at you. “Oh yeah?” He smiles at you. It’s a knowing expression, an understanding one. He keeps his eyes on you, but speaks to Sirius. “I’m gonna go for a walk, Pads. Come and retrieve me when you’re finished.” 

The squeeze Remus gives to your shoulder is kind. It tells you you’re safe with Sirius. With him. That you’re welcome. The glass door rattles as it shuts. 

“You really have no faith in me?” Sirius asks, spritzing the Mandrakes leaves. You peer into the pot, noticing he’s watered it just right. It’s not going to drown after all. 

“No, I’ve got plenty. Maybe I just wanted to see you again.” 

Sirius sets the bottle he’s holding down. “No shit.”

“Well you see, last time you asked me a question, and I didn’t get to ask you one of my own, and I figured I’d better do that if I want to keep the friendship alive, you know?”

Sirius is smiling at you. He can’t believe this–your teasing. 

He runs the pad of his thumb along your cheekbone. “So what’s the question?”

“Do you like pie?” you question.

“I do.”

“That’s good. Because I feel the same way, and rumor has it you can get into the kitchens, so I thought we could work together on this...and get pie. It’s like a reward. I put up with you and you put up with me kind of thing, so we get something to eat.”

Sirius tosses his head back, letting out a bark of a laugh. Your eyes linger on his neck for a second longer than they should. 

“Well the rumors are indeed true,” he says. “Guess we’ll have to ditch Remus, then. Make it a proper date and whatnot.”

“That seems unkind,” you chuckle.

“He’ll live.”

————

“What’s happening here?” Sirius throws himself into one of the chairs on the other side of the table where you and Remus sit. 

“We’re reading,” Remus tells him. “Go away.”

Remus had shown you to this table. Said it was his favorite. There are a small group of them in the very back of the library, behind one of the last rows of shelves. You wouldn’t know they were there unless you went looking. 

He said it’s where he goes to hide when James and Sirius won’t shut up and let him work, which is more often than not. 

“You whined about me making new friends,” Sirius says, “so that I’d leave you alone, and now you’ve taken it upon yourself to steal said friend from me?” 

You cover your face with your book, sliding deeper into your chair and trying your very best to fight off a giggle. 

Sirius reaches across the table and snatches the book from your hands. He wants to see the shit-eating grin you’re hiding. He stands and moves in front of you just when you bury your face in your sleeve. 

He tugs on the fabric of your shirt. “Traded me out then, have you?”

You snort into your sweater, and Sirius watched the way your shoulders shake. Remus eyes his friend’s hand, trying to make sure he didn’t lose your page with his frenzied antics. He didn’t though, pale thumb tucked into the paper.

Remus sets his own book down, stretching over the back of the chair. He’s thinking about going to bed. 

Instead of looking at Sirius like you know he wants, you turn to Remus.

“Leavin’ me, Rem?”

Sirius scoffs. Rem his ass. 

Remus lowers his head so that it’s level with yours. “Sleepy,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut. You look at the scar that runs through his brow and across his eyelid. There’s another by his ear. You wonder if he’ll tell you about them someday. 

He bumps his forehead—the gentlest of taps—with yours, and then he’s standing. Sometimes you forget how lanky he is when he’s always so hunched over. 

“Goodnight, Lupin,” you say. 

“Goodnight, you two. Don’t get too wild. This is still a library.”

Sirius takes the chair Remus had been occupying. You look at him, and reach for his hand. He wouldn’t even think about denying you taking it, even if he is being a grump. 

“I have not traded you out, Sirius.” He glares at you, though his eyes are still much too soft for it to be anything malicious. He’s not sure he could ever look at you in a hateful way. 

“You could’ve read with me,” he argues, tickling your palm. You try and wriggle your hand away, but he only presses his fingers firmly into your skin, keeping you there. 

“Come on.”

“No, you could have,” he continues. “I can be very well behaved, if need be.”

“Oh yeah?” You’re the one smirking now. Sirius is afraid he might never get this image of you out of his head. 

“Yeah.” He leans in, nuzzling his nose against your temple. When he pulls away, you realize he has a smattering of freckles under one eye. You have the urge to touch them, and so you do. 

He relaxes against your hand. “You’re very pretty, Sirius.”

“Thank you.” He kisses your knuckle. “You’re very pretty, too, sweets.”

“Thank you.”

In the weeks since your Mandrake project has finished—and the plant did indeed survive—Sirius has grown increasingly attached to you. Frankly he finds himself shocked that you’re willing to deal with him at all, let alone that his friends like you so much. He wasn’t even a little upset that you’re spending time with Remus. You have a lot in common, actually. 

He just likes to tease you. And he’s very good at it. 

“So you come looking for me because you need something? Or are you perhaps attention starved?” You question, taking your hand away from his face, though your other is still within his grasp. 

“Most definitely the latter.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

He speaks close to your ear as if he’s about to spill the world’s most confidential information. “Is this a safe space?”

“Absolutely,” you assure him. 

“I want you to play with my hair,” Sirius says. 

You gasp, clutching at your nonexistent pearls. 

Your moment's pause makes him a little nervous. “Well let’s get on with it then,” you tell him.

You take Sirius up to your common room, it being much too late for anyone to be up. You slip your fingers into his hair, scratching at his scalp until he’s falling asleep and you’ve made promises of braiding it sooner or later. Eventually, you have to wake him, send him off to bed.

And he pouts. God, does he pout. But it’s okay. He’ll get you to do it again tomorrow.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[fariesoiree]

Fwb!hobie getting a rise out of you because you’re jealous of him being with other girls but the one time you decide to get with another guy hobie gets in his feels, fucks you then confesses. 👀

Love your writing btw ☺️

thanks lovie! sorry it took me so long i got addicted to writing 3000+ words and just realized i don’t actually have to. request under the cut! minors mdni ; black afab reader

fwb!hobie who you’ve seen around a few times. he’s a friend of a friend and more often then not, ends up tagging along with your plans.

fwb!hobie who found you undeniably attractive the moment he first laid eyes on you. sweet girls like you aren’t typically his type but he couldn’t stay away. there’s something addicting, sugary like saccharine.

fwb!hobie who was elated to find you had an interest in him, as well. he wasn’t supposed to find out but he’s good at getting what he wants, information included.

fwb!hobie who enchanted his way into your bed. he made it very clear there were to be no strings attached and it would be a one time thing . . . it wasn’t.

fwb!hobie who couldn’t stay away after he had a taste. he just had to have more and he keeps coming back for more but always in the late hours of the night and he’s always gone before sunrise.

fwb!hobie who is enjoying this little relationship you both have. he can get balls deep in your cunt by night and walk past you by morning without saying a word. sometimes, when he’s feeling bold, he’ll lean down and mock your moans into your ear.

fwb!hobie who laugh when you whip your head around to glare at him and smack a hand into your chest, clearly embarrassed and looking around to see if anyone else heard.

fwb!hobie who still sees other girls, much to your dismay. really, you had no idea until you left your apartment and saw him walking out of the one across from you, just having pulled his shirt over his head. he shoots you a smile and continues on his way.

fwb!hobie who doesn’t know you’re very upset about this and cancelled all your plans for the day. he’s unaware that you holed yourself up in your room to call your best friend, rant, and come up with a solution to your heartbreak.

fwb!hobie who is surprised to see you at the same pub he’s at, considering the setting is not really your scene. he stands and begins to walk over to you. the closer he gets, the sooner he realizes that you’re talking to, no, flirting with the man next to you. he can see his hand settled on the bare skin of your thigh, thumb trailing back and forth.

fwb!hobie who is uncomfortable with the white hot rage that bubbles in his stomach but knows he has to do something to stop this.

“hey, treacle. what are you doin’ here?” his hand comes to rest on the small of your back when he’s finally close enough and stands beside you, hovers beside you.

fwb!hobie who has to fight off a frown when you try to dismiss him. he’s not moving, though. his presence urges the other guy off, sending some sort of message that you two have something going on.

fwb!hobie who gets even more upset when you stare at him as if he’s the problem and begin to tell him off.

fwb!hobie who quickly reads between the lines and figures out what this is really all about. he becomes oddly smug and crosses his arms, nodding along to every insult you call him.

fwb!hobie who later that night has your head pressed into the mattress while he delivers brutal back shot after back shot. he has his hand wrapped around your braids and uses it as leverage whenever he feels like pulling your hair.

fwb!hobie who is reveling in the fact that you’re sobbing and begging him not to stop, as if he ever would. he’s leaned down real close just to make sure you can hear him over yourself.

“who does this pussy belong to? who got you screamin’ like this?”

fwb!hobie who can feel himself getting closer and closer the more you cry, wail, and clench around his cock. he eventually pulls out and rolls you onto your back with a hasty pace.

fwb!hobie who is now giving you a perfect view of him jerking his dick over your form. he does his best to speak between whimpers and his other hand is pushing your leg onto your chest.

“y – you can’t see other p – people. you’re mine, i’m y – yours. it’s done.”

fwb!hobie who misses the smile that graces your face as he cums on your cunt. this was your plan all along and he just fell right in.