#I wouldn’t want it to be super weird or super unhealthy

[readylovewrites]

The concept of the Hyde becoming aimless rather than strictly more aggressive with the loss of its master. Tyler, escaped, haunting the woods near his cave, waiting for Laurel to come back and just tell him what to do, what is he supposed to do? Standing amidst the silence of an abandoned forest, listless, holding himself and feeling his eyes lose focus, supernaturally attuned ears absently picking up on the sound of fallen leaves hitting the earth. At some point—he doesn’t know when—he tore apart a deer but there’s no satisfaction in it like there was when it was Laurel’s biding so it’s laying at his feet, forgotten.

abandoned.

He doesn’t know it, but Wednesday has been looking for him since she heard of his escape. She herself isn’t sure if she means to kill him or study him or… well. She thinks about what a Hyde might do when it’s master is dead but there haven’t been bodies turning up so maybe he went home? She decides to investigate and finds him there with his back to her, stock-still, and she’d think he hasn’t noticed her except for the way his fingers tighten around his biceps.

she waits. If he attacks her, she’ll have her fun in besting him on her own. If he attacks, they can see who’ll draw first blood and—more importantly—who will draw last.

he doesn’t.

wind whispers through the trees, the black, whirling maw of the cave a hellmouth of bad memories, and neither tyler nor Hyde try to kill her. It’s shaping up to be a pathetic birthday.

“Well?” she prompts.

he doesn’t react.

she lets it hang for another moment, but grows impatient: “I killed your master. I’m right here. What are you waiting for?” And then, mockingly, “Orders?”

compellingly, his head turns just the slightest bit towards her and she sees in profile his lost expression. And it clicks then. Because he is and, by the look on his face, they’ve only both just realized it.

this could almost feel like a victory if Wednesday were not suddenly struck by the injustice of it. Because Tyler looks small. Looks lost. Looks like nothing at all.

chains on a wall.

she steps up beside him, more irritated that she can’t even have fun at his expense, and sees the deer. “My parents got me a taxidermy kit for my birthday last year. At least this wasn’t a total waste.”

Later, when she’s instructed Thing to grab the back legs while she takes the front and carted off her trophy, he’s still standing there but gradually, as the dark is setting in, a warmth creeps up on him. He feels his mind waking. Sees from the corner of his eye prey emerging from nearby brush.

———

the next morning, when Wednesday is leaving her dorm for her first class, the toe of her boot collides with the malleable form of a dead rabbit.

[genshin-obsessed]

You Get Injured! | Honkai Star Rail

I finally finished! AND! I added Caelus! Kinda forgot he existed for a second lmao. I personally think the delivery for this took way too long but it's ok now! ^w^ I hope you like it! ✧ Includes: Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt, Sampo, Blade ✧ Extra: Angst ahead! The consistency is weird here cuz my writing always gets longer as I write. Meaning the first one I start with is short and the last one is ridiculously long. I did try to even it out a little, though. Also I was supposed to have banners for this but... I completely forgot about them

➺ Caelus

Caelus had told you to wait before going anywhere dangerous because he wanted to join you. You two could protect one another. But you didn’t listen because he took slightly too long. Not that you were that impatient but you just wanted to get your task done, yanno? Caelus was also a super busy guy and the last thing you wanted was to give him more work. Your plan was to go in, do what you needed, and be done by the time he got here. Simple, right?

You were too far. Too far. Caelus’ heart was pounding out of his chest as his legs moved as fast as they could to get to you. He’d just heard what happened- you���d gotten attacked by some fragmentum monsters. All he knew was you were hurt badly. His mind was a mess with all sorts of awful scenarios. The worst one was seeing you dead. He could literally imagine your headstone and he hated it. Every second of it.

The second he saw you, he engulfed you in the tightest of hugs almost forgetting you were injured. You groaned which made him realize he was too rough. He apologized and was quick to get you medical help. There was so much blood- like everywhere. It was leaving a trail as he got you to the medics. It was horrifying and he’d never felt so scared before in his life.

He was next to you the entire time. Like day in, day out, he was beside you helping you heal. Your injuries were so bad, you were unable to do anything for the first two weeks. Caelus helped you with everything. You kept apologizing, but he wouldn’t have any of it. He just insisted that you need to focus on getting better and he was right here beside you, where he belonged.

Honestly, after the whole thing, Caelus was a lot more aware and attentive. Not that he wasn’t before, but now he was super careful. That day was one of the hardest and seeing you like that? That was a day he never forgot and never wanted to re-encounter. So, whenever you wanna go somewhere, he always wants to join (especially if it’s dangerous).

➺ Dan Heng

Dan Heng has never, ever doubted you or your abilities to fight. Anywhere you’d go, he’d simply join out of the intent to be good company. He would miss you. But he never doubted you… and he never thought you could get hurt out there. You were always so strong and unbeatable.

When he heard the news, he felt his heart drop. His entire body froze and he didn’t exactly understand what he was being told. You were injured? Badly? What happened? Who did it? Weren’t you just going to a friend’s place? How could this happen?

When Dan Heng saw you- your figure which was covered in blood, your teary eyes, your limp- he raced to hold you tightly in his arms. How could he let this happen? How could he allow you to get hurt like this when he had the ability to protect you? He didn’t do his part as a good boyfriend. The entire time, he did his best not to break down, knowing it was more important to take care of you than cry.

Through the entire healing process, Dan Heng was glued to your side. He was at your beck and call- anything you needed, he got for you. There was a period where he was super nervous about having others around, but quickly came to the decision that it was unhealthy and he needed to step back. You were still happy to have him around.

The aftermath with everything was expected. Every time you left on your own, Dan Heng just had a wave of panic and uncertainty. He always had that thought in the back of his mind of you not making it back to him. He tried not to let it get to him, but he couldn’t help it. You got hurt before, so why not this time? You make sure to call to let Dan Heng know everything is ok when you arrive at your destination and sometimes, you just take him with! After all, he is your boyfriend and you adore his company.

➺ Welt

You and Welt made a good team, having fought a lot together. So, if you went off on your own or with another team, he didn’t really need to worry. He knew your capabilities and didn’t underestimate you at any point. Though, he hadn’t stopped to think… maybe you weren’t invincible.

Himeko was the first to tell him and the way she looked when she brought it up is what initially scared him. Himeko had run all the way to him, her eyes were wide with worry, and she was breathing heavily. She only said, “(y/n) got attacked.” Welt could feel his heart sinking into his stomach as the numerous bad scenarios came to his mind. Most of them included a dead you.

Welt couldn’t rest- he had to see you and right this second. Himeko wasted no time and quickly took him to see you. You were already at the hospital but when he saw you… he pretty much broke down. Himeko had never seen him like that and bargained with the doctors to let him see you just for a minute. They agreed and let him in. You weren’t awake which sent another wave of terror through him. What if you never woke up? His fears were settled when you did eventually wake up, but you were in bad shape.

Your recovery was taken extremely seriously by Welt. He made sure you ate meals at proper times, you were drinking enough fluids, and he even made sure you took the time to get up and walk around for a few minutes every now and then. He was pretty much your personal nurse and he happily took on the job. He wasn’t upset, he made time, and he took really good care of you.

Honestly, afterward, Welt had a few nightmares. When he saw you, you weren’t awake. There were nights where he walked to you in that hospital bed and you just flatlined. It became a deep-rooted fear for him. You didn’t realize how bad it was until there was a day where you forgot to call him when you left and he just panicked, acting nothing like his usual composed self. He apologized for losing his composure but you appreciated seeing what you did because now you knew how worried he got. He’s definitely an overprotective boyfriend now.

➺ Sampo

Sampo didn’t take things too seriously a lot of the time. He wasn’t neglectful or anything, but he was just a goofy guy. Due to his laid-back attitude, Sampo didn’t worry when you said you were going to visit Rivet Town to help Hook with something. He didn’t necessarily take into account how dangerous it was and just happily kissed you goodbye and told you to be safe. I mean… you tried.

Of course, he was busy doing what he did best when he saw Hook… running to him with tears in her eyes. The entire event that morning came rushing back and he just knew. Hook barely had to say anything and Sampo was demanding she take him to you. Hook took Sampo to Natasha’s clinic, which is where you’d made it to before collapsing. The entire time, he was blaming himself. He should’ve offered to go with you, he should’ve asked more- he should've been there.

He tried to hug you but you were unconscious on the bed, so all he could do was just wait until you woke up. He refused to let go of your hand- no matter what anyone said- he stood his ground. Eventually, they just relented and let him stay. You woke up only a few hours later, absolutely exhausted and clearly recovering.

Sampo was your personal nurse but he wasn’t the best at it. Sometimes he’d mess up, drop things, make it harder for you but… it always made you laugh. You could see that Sampo was very upset with himself and this was his desperate way to make up for it, even though he knew there was no way to do that. But you happily accepted it. You could see how much he loved you just from that.

The aftermath was… a bit to get used to. Sampo never let you go into danger zones alone. No matter what. However, you were never one to disagree. What was odd was his seriousness. A lot of Sampo’s laid-back-ness kinda went away after what happened. Of course, it wasn’t permanent but it was a bit upsetting. You could see the toll your accident had taken on him. He worried- a lot. He even admitted he’ll get flashes of that day and he wonders where he would have been had you not woken up. You just give him a big tight hug to let him know you weren’t going anywhere.

➺ Blade

Blade was always overprotective, he knew you were squishy. Meaning, you’re mortal. If someone poked you hard enough, you’d die. He didn’t want that to happen, so he was always making sure you were ok. He kept an eye on you, stuck around you, and just had your back all the time. There was one day- ONE- where he failed. And that was the day he paid the price.

When he heard, he felt nothing but pure rage for whatever hurt you. The second emotion he felt was pure disappointment in himself. He let that happen. HE did, no one else. You wouldn’t have gotten hurt if he wasn’t busy and had made time for you. He did every other day so why not this one? When he saw you, he didn’t have much of a physical reaction other than wide eyes and engulfing you in a hug. But deep inside, he hated himself for a bit because this was his fault.

Blade refused to leave your side and if anyone even dared to suggest he did, he brought down every last bit of that rage on them. He stuck by you the entire time you were under medical observation. Once you were able to go home, he did everything for you. If you dared to lift a finger to do anything, he just sent his signature glare your way. You would giggle sheepishly and just lay back down.

There was a change in his personality at home. He was much softer. He was always asking if you were ok, he would do anything, and he was super affectionate. He would hold you all the time, give you quick kisses, and just let you know he loved you. All the time. It was an unusual change but not one you hated. You loved Blade and him giving you all sorts of affection was great! A bit weird, but great!

The aftermath was expected: Blade basically became your personal bodyguard. He wasn’t very affectionate in public, but at home, that new side remained. It was as if there was a switch that had been flipped. Eventually, you finally asked him when he literally tickled you one night. He said, “I thought you were gonna die. And I realized… I didn’t get to show you just how much I love you.” That was all he was willing to say on it. You were so happy to hear that. It was nice to see how soft Blade could be with you when no one was looking.

[moreaustars]

EXORCIST/FALLENWINGS LORE I PULLED OUT OF MY ASS

this is all my personal headcanons and just shit i made up, but viv if you wanna hire me i’m not complaining

first: i see the debate constantly on whether or not exorcists are heavenborn or human souls, and personally i think them being heavenborn is just objectively cooler. it puts a good contrast between the exorcists and the sinners, y’know, since if they were never on earth they never would have met any sinners to gain sympathy for and would be easier to brainwash. that being said, no i don’t think they were ever technically “born” as babies, but i don’t think they spawned as full grown adults either.

because all of the angels’ designs are based on birds, i like the idea of them hatching from eggs. it’s just so silly to me to imagine, i love it sm. so in my head they all hatched from a nest of eggs adam had sera poof into existence once they settled on the agreement that he was permitted to raise an army for the betterment of heaven (he was their mama bird <3) as probably around 3-4 biologically? going off of human years. because while kids would be easier for adam to train, thirty something screaming babies wouldn’t be of much use to him.

all of their names are stupid as fuck, vaggie just got the shortest end of the stick. lute’s full name is literally just lieutenant. half of them are just body parts (wings, legs… vaggie), some get random words that just barely suit them (tall one is tree, short one is pipsqueak), and some of his favorites get instruments (guitar, drumstick, trumpet, and lieutenant gets shortened to lute when she’s not annoying him)

adam chose his favorites before they even hatched btw. he picked all of the coolest eggs and put them into a little pile. (vaggie’s was slightly cracked and a weird shade of pink-ish purple compared to all of the other black and white eggs so he decided she would be vagina right then and there)

also just because of how bratty lute is in canon, she doesn’t give “spent years working to earn her position” to me (don’t get me wrong i love her that’s my bbg) and because her name is literally just lieutenant, i like to think that her egg was the one adam felt the most protective of which is why she was deemed lieutenant before she had even hatched. i also just don’t think he’d want to go through the headache of raising all of the girls equally for them to fight over the position of being his right hand when he could just have one pre-guaranteed and train her separately.

unfortunately, this backfired tremendously! because once the girls started growing up it was pretty clear that lute was the weakest and smallest of them all. yeah, i said it. she was a wimp. it took her like three years just to learn how to fly.

relating to the art above ^ this is how i think lute and vaggie became close!! because while she was pretty strong (honestly probably one of the highest ranking) she also didn’t have many friends. i love the fact that once she’s in hell she starts dressing more feminine and grows her hair out to break away from who she used to be, but while vaggie was younger, especially as a tween-teen she was super super tomboyish. she was seen as kind of aggressive, the troublemaker of the group. but one thing she never did was pick on lute for being weak. i see here protecting her a lot when they were kids.

because it really wasn’t fair to the other girls that adam favored lute so much from day one that her position was guaranteed, and that while they continued to grow and train they still had to take orders from someone so much weaker than them. there was a lot of animosity in their earlier years, especially before the exterminations really started (they were like 14 when the first one happened) and lute got pushed around a lot.

because adam and vaggie were the only two that were nice to her, she developed a super unhealthy attachment style to both of them. while vaggie genuinely cared about lute and wanted to protect her (this isn't me saying adam didn't care about her btw because she was probably the only person he ever actually loved), lute was definitely a moral dilemma for adam. because on one hand, here was this kid that looked up to him so much and he really did feel bad for her, but man was she fucking incompetent at times. still, he didn't boot her from her position as lieutenant, but he didn't do anything to help that unhealthy attachment either. he instead just used it to brainwash her even worse because it's adam and he doesn't know how to express love whatsoever. 😭 he was like a narcissistic parent, basically. if she did everything perfectly just the way he wanted it, she'd be praised and reminded why she was the favorite, but if she made one mistake... it was like a whole other person. and it was overwhelming, but lute did EVERYTHING she could to be what he wanted her to be because she craved validation so badly after being bullied so much. which is exactly why adam kept it up.

I picture her really starting to get it together at around, eh, 15-16?? something like that. old enough that she was beyond sick of being kicked around and desperate to do something about it. it was like an overnight switch. she stopped sleeping and started training on her own time, pushing herself to her limits, putting on a mask. and all of a sudden she was a mini adam without the humor and guitar solos. she was cold, she was viscous, and she was tired of letting other people take advantage of her when she was the one who was supposed to be in charge.

this definitely put a rift between her and vaggie, because the suddenly heartless leader was absolutely not the little kid vaggie took hit after hit to protect. lute didn't understand why vaggie hated the new her when she was so obviously better than she was before, right? but vaggie just wanted her friend back.

that being said, I told y'all these would be fallenwings hcs too. I don't see them being anything more than a situationship, at least pre-canon, but man was it rough. this was THE toxic homoerotic best friend situationship every repressed lesbian teen goes through, except with murder and betrayal!

like were they dating? not officially. but did they make out covered in blood and bruises after fist fighting in the middle of trying to have a conversation about what they were to each other? well well well... 😘

I feel like vaggie really wanted something more with lute, but lute was so in her own head with her own internalized homophobia and newfound fear of being seen as weak as she used to be that the second things started getting too far she got scared and ran. and what was the only way to get vaggie to stop trying to make her feel feelings™ again than to just... make her hate her altogether. it's easier that way, right? vaggie sparing the sinner was just the perfect excuse to justify herself.

though, who am I kidding? lute spent the next three years crying herself to sleep using her ex situationship's shirt as a pillowcase because her dumbass tried to kill her... and as soon as vaggie crashed back into her life alive and with a girlfriend... well, if at first you don't succeed!

thank you for reading this long ass ramble 😭 here's a baby lute as a bonus:

[octopotto]

Yandere! Cloud Strife Childhood Headcanons (+ lil’ blurb)

OCTO NOTE:

*Seeing barely any yan cloud strife content*

Me: Fine… I’ll do it myself

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ, Mentions of: child injuries, self-dout, depression, and violence, Out of Character madness (even for yandere standards), Unhealthy behaviours, Yandere but not extreme but still—, Possessiveness, Kid Cloud is crazy protective, some stuff is inaccurate bc I’m writing this by memory.

**Will CONTAIN SPOILERS for the following: FF7 (original), FF7 Remake (2020).

REMINDER: Yandere behaviour of any kind is unhealthy behaviour. It should not be something to seek out for in real life. If you are experiencing any sort of inappropriate behaviour, please contact help/seek out help.

**The reader will ALWAYS be Gender-Neutral!

THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC BC FOR ME WRITING CHILDREN IN LOVE IS WEIRD AND I CAN'T SORRY.

ps: first fic!

———————————-••———————————

- Due to Clouds insecurities developing at a young age, he most likely won’t approach you first. You would either have to be the one initiating the conversation or Tifa has to introduce you two.

- Either way, it’s super awkward for the both of you.

- Lil’ boy is bitter because no one wanted to be his friend but here you are lol

- I think the best way to get Cloud to open up is for you to keep talking to him or approaching him first

- I believe that it’s those efforts that will help Cloud realize how much you genuinely want to become friends/closer with him.

- It will help him get out of his shell.

- Honestly, getting him to initiate the conversation FIRST is a HUGE development in y’all’s relationship.

- Kid Cloud: *Approaches you first* “Hi…”

- Kid You: 😧😧 —> 😃😭🥰

- It will probably be like that for a while, but it will do!

- It’s kind of his way of showing that he also now wants to become closer with you.

- But once you guys finally get out of the ‘awkward’ phase, Cloud will slowly start to become attached to you.

- He’s now more confident in expressing himself and approaching you.

- He even tried to hold your hand a few times because he saw you hold Tifas hand when playing

- At one point, you even made Cloud and yourself friendship bracelets.

- “It a symbol of how much we care for each other!” You expressed to Cloud.

- He never once took off that bracelet. It was probably the first time he received something that wasn’t from his mother.

- You would always see him with it on. Even if you guys got into a fight.

- But when time passed, he started to get clingy

- No like

- REALLY CLINGY

- It’s to the point where you guys arrive to your house and you walk in to call it a night, HE ALSO starts to walk into the house.

- Kid You: *Confused as to why Cloud is taking off his shoes in your house after waving goodbye*

- Kid Cloud: *Literally just inviting himself in because wherever you go, HE GOES*

- I feel like his mother would look over this behaviour.

- Remember, Cloud never had any friends or anyone to talk to.

- So his mother was actually over the moon when he finally has someone who cares for him.

- She would probably chalk it up as him just being excited to have a friend.

- Your own guardian/parents wouldn’t mind as well as much

- They don’t really like the other kids as much (besides Tifa), so they were also happy that you made a new friend (despite again, being very clingy to you)

- Another mouth to feed too since he likes staying over.

- Cloud doesn’t understand these emotions but he does understand that he cherishes you and wants to be around you more often.

‘Kay enough with the slow-burn, time for the angst! :D

- If you played the original FF7 or watched it, yknow what’s coming up.

- Tifa’s mother died when she was young and thought she could reach her if she climbed up Mt. Nibel.

- You and Cloud followed her as you two were concerned for Tifa.

- Up in the mountains, you were fortunate to push Tifa and Cloud away before the bridge fell.

- The consequence? Yourself

- You fell down the bridge in place of both Tifa and Cloud.

- While falling, you heard the most blood-curdling scream you ever heard from both Cloud and Tifa.

- Thankfully, you survived the fall.

- But you still suffered major injuries and was unconscious for several days.

- Which resulted you from going outside.

- This deeply affected Cloud so much. His one and only friend, the one person he care for so much that he would do anything to prove it to you.

- It didn’t help that almost everyone in the town blamed HIM for what happened.

- Even with Tifa’s protests and defending Cloud’s innocence, no one listened.

- IMAGINE BLAMING A CHILD

- Your guardian reassured him and Tifa that it wasn’t their fault, that you wouldn’t want them to feel bad.

- But even with all of the reassurance from your guardian and Tifa, Cloud couldn’t stop the guilt and despair that kept clawing within him.

- Thus, he started believing the blame that people keep telling him, blaming himself that he was the reason why you’re in terrible state right now.

- With you being unconscious and not being able to go out, Cloud started to keep to himself again.

- If he wasn’t staying by your side to see if you would wake up, he was in his bed.

- Just laying in there, surrounded by his thoughts and guilt.

- Why do anything if everything that happened was his fault?

- Why go out if you weren’t there with him?

- He believes that he ruined the one good thing in his life.

- When you finally woke up, Cloud never ran so fast to your house.

- Even forgot to knock, just kept jiggling the door handle until your guardian unlocked it.

- He quickly into went to your room

- And when he got there, it was like he finally woke up from his nightmare.

- Because there you were, alive.

- Quickly went up to you and hugged you so tight that you thought you couldn’t breathe for a second.

- You couldn’t process what was happening until you felt something wet on your shoulder.

- Cloud was crying. He was so relieved, so relieved to see you awake.

- He didn’t know what to say, all he could say was incoherent mumbles.

- “Im so sorry… I’m so glad you’re here with me” Is what Cloud could say.

- Once you were able to process what was happening, all you did was hug him back just as tightly, not even caring if your arms were still sore. You weren't sure as to why Cloud was saying sorry for, but you began crying as well.

- “I’m glad you’re here with me as well,” You said back.

- All Cloud did was hug you even tighter.

- All throughout your recovery, Cloud was there by your side 24/7.

- If you needed anything, Cloud the Delivery Boy was on the run! 👀👀👀👀

- Made sure to hold your hand extra tight in order for you to not fall.

- If y’all were going outside for a walk, IT WILL ONLY BE ON FLAT GROUND.

- No hills, no bumps, no nothing

- He can’t risk you hurting yourself again because of himself.

- He also tried to carry you

- Never again lol

- Also super protective

- Wouldn’t even let Tifa near you when she wanted to see you again.

- Tifa was so mad he didn’t let her hang out with you. She was your friend too!!

- Kid Cloud: *Puts arm out to create a barrier between you guys and Tifa*

- “No 😡😡😡😡😡”

- Kid Tifa: 🙁🙁🙁

- Tifa On the inside: 🤬🤬🤬

- yan! tifa lockhart hcs??👀👀👀

- After what happened to you, Cloud swore to himself that he will be the one to protect you from any harm. Even as you guys grew older, he always protected you.

- He wants to always be by your side.

- He doesn’t want to leave you alone from now on.

- Because it might make his nightmares come true once more: You leaving him.

-----------------

But what happens a few years later when he decides to leave for SOLIDER?

~~~~~

It was late at night and Cloud left a note for you, asking to meet him at the water tower.

It wasn’t unusual for Cloud to ask this because you guys usually hang out whenever one of you feels like it. As you kept walking to the tower, you can’t help but have a strange feeling as to why Cloud didn’t specify why he wanted to talk to you.

Once you got to the top of the tower, you see Cloud sitting on edge of the platform. It seemed like he was lost in thought, like he was still figuring out what to say. You smiled, always finding his thinking-face to be so cute. You finally approached him and tapped on on the shoulder. He flinched, he didn’t even hear you walk up.

“Hey” You greeted Cloud while sitting down.

Cloud nodded his head at you and looked backed out on the ground below him.

Your eyebrows furred together. Again, the same feeling when you were walking to the tower came back and sense that something was wrong with Cloud.

“You said you wanted to speak to me?” You questioned as you continued to observe Cloud’s facial expressions. It took some time for him to say something, but when he did, it almost disappointed you.

“When spring comes, I’m leaving town and going to Midgard.” He stated while not looking at you.

You frowned. You knew this day would come.

You hummed at Cloud’s response. “Not surprised… every guy here is leaving for work, even Tifa’s friends are leaving too..” You quietly said, still sad that Cloud was leaving you. Cloud jumped at the tone of you voice, quickly turning his head in order to face you.

“B-But— I’m not like them!” Cloud exclaimed, worried that you thought he wanted to leave you. Never.

“I’m not just going into the city just to look for a job… I’m going to become a SOLDIER. Like Sephiroth” Cloud continued as he confessed.

“The legendary war-hero huh…” You said quietly.

You heard stories from some the guys around town talk about how they would leave town to either look for work or join a military program named ‘SOLDIER’. It’s been something that a lot of kids dream of when growing up, and Cloud was apparently not an exception.

You knew it was selfish of you to wished that Cloud wouldn’t leave town for the program. But he’s your best friend. It‘ll be painful for you to see him move far away for a long time, in a completely different city.

You guys stayed silent for a few minutes until scooted closer to Cloud. He looked at you surprised.

“Okay…then promise me this” You said to him. “When we’re older and you become a famous war hero and come back to visit… you’ll take me with you on your missions.” You said as you had this serious look in your eyes. If Cloud was going to be able to go cool and interesting adventures, you wanna come with.

“H-huh—?!”

“You’ll be like my guide or something!” You laughed at Clouds reaction.

“It will be dangerous for you!” Cloud exclaimed.

“Nu-uh! Tifa’s father has been teaching me some moves lately! At this rate, I’m going to be even stronger than Sephiroth and become SOLDIER” You proudly said as you flexed your non-existenting muscles.

“Plus..” You started. “Since you’re gonna become a SOLDIER, you’re going to be able to protect me. I know you will. You know I trust you with my life!” You continued as you smiled at him.

Cloud gasped at your statement as his eyes widen in shock.

You trusted him.

You wanted him to save you.

You wanted him as your protector.

You wanted him.

You felt your checks warm up in embarrassment as you realized what you said to him. You then grabbed Cloud into a tight hug.

You felt Cloud slowly hug you back.

"Y’know, I'm glad I met you, Cloud" You whispered to Cloud, hugging him even tighter. He also hugs you closer.

You guys just stayed like that while looking at the stars above.

All Cloud wants is to become strong enough to protect you. Since he saw how much Sephiroth has done to protect other people and cities in the papers, he knew that he had to join. To become stronger, to be able to become the best version of himself, for you to see that the only person that you could come to for protection and rescuing, will be him. He will become your protector.

He swore to himself ever since you got injured because to his carelessness.

‘Y/n…You have no idea what lengths I would go through just to keep you safe.’

———————————-••———————————

OCTO NOTE: This was supposed to be general headcanons but I went overboard (clearly lol). So most likely this will become a series.

This is my first ever fic that I’ve written for Tumblr as well as for Final Fantasy 7, so I deeply apologize if anything is inaccurate :((

Hoped you enjoyed these hcs! Again, Cloud gets no love in the yandere fic community so why not I just write some lmaoo

[kanatajelly]

general yandere headcanons - floyd

floyd leech - twisted wonderland

warnings: general yandere themes, unhealthy relationships, physical abuse, biting, brief mention of blood, mentions of verbal abuse/humiliation, mentions of murder (both others and darling), mentions of kidnapping, honestly floyd is his own warning

word count: 1707

what kind of yandere are they?

Floyd is a very intensely possessive and clingy yandere. He is always physically near his darling, and is usually touching them in some way. Floyd’s love language is definitely physical touch, and that is brought out in the worst way possible if he’s a yandere.

Like his brother, I think he’d take some time to examine his darling and confirm his interest in them, but it escalates a lot quicker for him than it does for Jade. He would also take a more direct and overbearing approach to get close to his darling, as it’s not his style to do things quietly. Floyd would rather just jump in and make his presence known to them. No point in making them wait, they’re gonna have to get used to him anyway.

He can also be quite violent, both towards his darling and other people around them. Floyd is very quick to anger and isn’t the type to change his approach based on who he’s handling. From past experiences, he knows that a nice, hard squeeze fixes most things. It’s not like he doesn’t enjoy it. Speaking of enjoying it… yeah, Floyd is pretty sadistic as well. No surprises there.

Floyd is also easily prone to being jealous. His possessiveness over his darling is very strong, and he wants them to be his and only his. Why need anyone else? When Floyd is jealous, everyone within viewing distance can tell. Depending on the mood that he’s in, he’s either super whiny, aggressive, or bitter in response to being jealous. You can never tell how he’ll express his jealousy until he actually does it. It just makes him that much harder to deal with.

how do they treat their darling?

Floyd is a bit of an odd case in terms of how he treats his darling. He strikes this weird mix between being absolutely lovestruck with them, and treating them so badly that you’d think he hated their guts. He is definitely not an easy yandere to deal with due to this unpredictability of his.

Physical abuse is not off the table at all. Floyd knows how strong he is, and he isn’t afraid to show off some of that strength to intimidate his darling into submission. Whether it be in the form of squeezing them until they can barely breathe or biting them so hard that they start to bleed, he will not hesitate.

Speaking of biting, Floyd absolutely loves leaving marks on his darling, especially with his teeth. He would bite them almost anywhere, but visible places like the neck or hands are the best, since it would be hard for them to cover those up. Leaving marks on his darling is like publicly announcing that they’re his. It’s very loud, and it’s very Floyd. However, he wouldn’t stop with just his teeth. I can imagine Floyd also leaving bruises on his darling’s body, not only as a way to show others who they belong to, but also as a lasting reminder of what happens if they defy him.

Teasing and humiliation are also things I could see Floyd doing to his darling. He’s very confident in his abilities to keep them where he wants them, and he would share this fact with them in a not-so-nice way. 

Though, don’t get me wrong. With all the things I’ve said Floyd would do to his darling, it’s not like he wants to kill them or break their mind completely. In the end, he is obsessed with his darling, and he derives enjoyment from “playing” with them. Killing them or causing them to become unresponsive due to mind break would ruin his fun, not to mention take away someone he has a deep attachment to.

On a slightly less violent note, Floyd is very physically affectionate, and that still holds true here. He does have moods where he’s more cuddly, but he just likes having his hands on his darling at all times regardless of his temperament. Holding their hand, wrapping an arm around their shoulders or waist, hugging/squeezing them, kissing them, etc… Floyd is also not ashamed of being physically affectionate in public. Doesn’t matter who’s around, he’s doing whatever he wants. Sure, he would prefer doing more… intimate actions behind closed doors, but that won’t stop him from giving his darling bone-crushing hugs or suffocating kisses in the middle of a crowded place.

In terms of kidnapping, I think it really depends on the situation. Floyd is confident enough in his ability to threaten, beat up, or even kill anybody who gets close to his darling, as well as keeping his darling in a position which he wants them to be in; so kidnapping is not seen as a necessity for him. However, in more extreme situations where there’s a really persistent competitor or his darling is really testing his patience, Floyd may resort to kidnapping. Though it’s pretty unlikely overall.

what kind of person would they obsess over?

Honestly, I think Floyd could become obsessed with anyone that he deems interesting or fun enough, much like his brother. Though he may fall more easily for someone who has especially interesting reactions to what he does.

Therefore, I think that someone who’s a little shy or easily startled would be a prime target for Floyd. He’d love seeing the shocked expressions or listening to the little sounds of surprise that they make in response to his teasing and sudden physical affection.

Conversely, I think that he could also fall easily for someone with a more fiery personality, since they would also have interesting reactions. Their reactions would be more on the explosive side when compared to a shy darling, but Floyd would be enthralled nonetheless. He does like bothering Riddle a lot in-canon, so there’s that too.

Floyd would become interested in someone at first because of his desire to see how far he can push them with his heckling. However, at some point, he’d become more concerned with simply seeing their reactions to the things he does rather than seeing them unravel. That’s where the obsession kicks in.

I did mention that Floyd may like a darling who’s on the fiery side, but too much fire and he’s uninterested. It’s the same on the other end; he might like someone who’s on the meek side, but too much submissiveness and they’re boring. Floyd is a difficult yandere to please. You kind of have to draw a fine line between being interesting enough to make his obsession persist, and being permissive enough that you’re not setting his temper off with every little defiant remark you make.

are they aware of their actions? how dangerous are they?

Unsurprisingly, Floyd is quite the lucid yandere. That being said, I think he does lean into the delusional side sometimes too. He’d be aware of his obsessive and possessive behaviour, but he just really doesn’t care. Why should he, when he’s just doing what he finds fun?

The delusional side of his kicks in when his obsession is more on the intense side. I think Floyd would sometimes fall victim to the thought that he and his darling are meant to be together, especially when he’s in his more cheery moods. However, if his darling does anything to break that delusion, such as defying him or acting afraid around him, Floyd switches back to normal rather quickly… and angrily.

Also unsurprisingly, Floyd is a very dangerous yandere. His lack of regard for anyone other than himself is probably the thing that contributes to his dangerousness the most, especially when it comes to how dangerous he is for people other than his darling. Furthermore, he has lots of other threatening traits: unpredictability, physical abuse, possessiveness, suffocating clinginess, and so on.

On the other hand, if his darling somehow finds a way to please him, or if they develop feelings for him as well, that would make Floyd considerably less dangerous towards them. There are certain things that would never go away - like his constant need to touch his darling in some way, or his bites that hurt a little too much - but some of his violent traits would slowly disappear if his darling is being compliant and interesting enough to him.

Floyd is also very dangerous to others, and this is not dependent on how his darling treats him. If anyone gets between him and his darling, Floyd has absolutely no remorse in beating them within an inch of their life. He might also kill them if beating them up doesn’t work. Murder isn’t necessarily his first option, but he also wouldn’t hesitate to kill someone if need be.  

what is their most dangerous trait? how far would they have to be pushed to bring it out?

Floyd’s most dangerous trait is definitely his deep disregard for anyone other than himself. He does what he considers most enjoyable or interesting at that moment, and he considers everything else to be less important than his whims. 

I do think Floyd could be a rather patient yandere, given the right situation. He doesn’t want to lose his darling, so he would apply some level of control to his own actions. For example, he wouldn’t jump to giving his darling a permanent injury or killing them. However, there is one important condition to satisfy for this to be true: the fact that his darling is still interesting to him.

If his darling were to ever make Floyd bored or set him off, the little bit of concern he has for them evaporates so quickly. Suddenly he’s back to treating them like everyone else; he stops controlling himself around his darling and does whatever he wants to without considering their well-being at all. In this state, he’s very likely to critically injure or kill his darling, especially if he’s frustrated or angry with them.

Overall, as long as his darling keeps Floyd relatively content and does nothing to dispel his interest in them, they’re probably fine. It’s a very delicate balance though: Floyd’s emotional volatility makes the task of dealing with him a difficult and fragile endeavour. And the second he gets bored or snaps… it’s not gonna be pretty.

[devils-servent]

I just read your rules so I'm reasking. Can you write Sam from seduce me comforting a reader who is recovering from anorexia? I don't have a POV preference, just X reader.

Hello Anon your initial ask was totally fine FYI. But, Sorry this took so long. I am a procrastinator and I’ve been super busy. I was super careful to not make this too triggering and to not romanticise anything. So I hope you enjoy it. I hope you are doing well! Remember that recovery is not a linear process! You are strong and any progress is still good progress!

approx 1k words

TW: Mentions of Eating disorders (Anorexia) and restriction. Unhealthy thought patterns mentioned. concept of good and bad foods mentioned.

Tags: Sam X reader, 2nd person, Damien mentioned. Cuddles, fluff, tears. 

It was hard for you to have such a busy household. It wasn’t like you disliked having the boys around to keep you company all the time. It was truly lovely to have a wonderful family. However, their constant presence made it a lot harder to keep to certain behaviours you had in the past and to keep them unnoticed ‘And that is a good thing’ you try to tell yourself. You were right of course, not that the unkind voice in the back of your head wanted you to acknowledge that. You want to recover, to commit. But it's hard alone. Having five nosey, caring incubi in your house meant that you had to eat three meals a day at least. Full meals. One of them was always cooking for you, convincing you to try something new, or to have a cheeky desert. And you both loved and hated it. They encouraged you to eat foods you would never even consider eating before. You can’t help but wonder if they knew what you were going through, do Demons even experience things such as this? Or is this a purely human phenomenon?

There was unfortunately no way Damien didn’t know what you were going through. First thing you thought about when you had pulled up to the house the day grandfather had died was that you didn’t have to recover anymore, as there was nobody to make you. Living alone was the prime opportunity for you to have what you wanted, and that was all you thought about. Thoughts of frustration plagued you when Damien had told you his brothers had cooked for you when you had first met, that is when he revealed he could read your mind. He had promised to keep your secret, but that didn’t stop the others noticing some weird habits you had compared to the other humans they had observed. 

Over the last few months you had gotten pretty close to Sam, his brash humour distracted you from the voice in the back of your mind. Not to mention he was very attractive to you. He taught you a lot; about him, his culture and why he left the demon world. His dietary habits had begun to rub off on you too. Considering he worked out very often he ate lots and lots. He would always encourage you to eat what he was making, even if it was only a few bites. 

“Oh come on doofus! Please just try it? I'm sure you will love it!” he teased. Waving a fork full of chicken alfredo in your face. You had sat with him as he made it, it smelled amazing filling the room and your lungs with its aroma. Sam explained that you should have some protein with every meal and lightly chastised you on how poor your daily protein intake is. You resisted at first, unwilling to eat yet. You were worried he wouldn’t ever like you if you didn’t look how you wanted for him. But… Sam’s persistence wore you down. 

“Okay, okay, just as long as we eat together.”

Sam smirked and served you a portion. It was larger than what you would usually eat - ‘I’m supposed to be recovering, it does not matter’ 

“Come on” he beckoned you, “let's eat upstairs in my room”. You nodded, following him as he carried both bowls and sat down on his bed. His room was pretty, filled with workout equipment, trinkets, his game console and the books he was learning to read. You played with your food for a while, talking Sam’s ear off as a way to distract him. It worked until he finished his food. You should have known better that he always wolves down his meals. He looked at you with a concerned look, he placed his hand on your knee. 

"Do you think I’m stupid doofus?”

You looked at him confused, planning to feign innocence. You opened your mouth to speak but he continued. 

“I don’t remember what humans call it, but I know what you are going through. I can tell, and have been able to for weeks. I understand that it's hard, but I want to support you (Y/N) In anyway I can. And I will, because I love you” You looked at him surprised as he cupped your face and kissed your cheek. “I’ll still love you no matter what you look like, because I love you not your body.” He smiled and rubbed your cheek. “I'll support you even if you don’t feel the same. My love is not conditional” 

You sat smiling like a wordless idiot, grinning at him red in the face. He twirled the pasta on to the fork and held it up to you. “Now come on, just a few more bites,” he smiled. “Everytime I eat from now on you should too! you should try everything, even if it's just a few bites.” you grimaced and looked away. 

“But what if I-” you held your tongue. What if you become undesirable, what if he doesn’t like you anymore, what if he's lying to you….but what if he isn’t. You looked up at him, he seemed so genuine. 

“Come on! I'm a good cook!” he exclaimed. Besides it will be good for us” he paused,”good for you”.

“You promise? You won’t get tired of it, will you?” 

He nodded, beaming up at you. “I swear on my name” he moved his other hand from your knee to his heart. “Now come on, let me feed you. I’ll feed you forever if you need me too”

Blushed and let him feed you. Maybe you aren't alone this time and maybe, just maybe, you won't be again. 

[permanentmess]

cornelia street (pietro maximoff x fem!reader)

A/N: I've been sitting on this one for a few months, but I felt weird writing it while I still had a boyfriend. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: none that I know of, maybe just some mentions of past unhealthy relationships, anxiety, alcohol consumption, etc.

Genre: fluff, minor angst mixed in but a happy ending

Word count: 2,556

GIF NOT MINE

New York City is a chaotic place, which means its absolutely perfect for Tony Stark and his parties. He will find any reason to have them, and that meant that since it was Pietro and Wanda’s birthday, what better occasion?

When you step outside, the nip of the cold February air sobers you every so slightly, and cools your body significantly. Between the bar being packed, the shot of Asgardian liquor you’d had (which had been more than enough, you haven’t sobered in the 5 hours since you had taken said shot), and Pietro’s body tucked next to you, you’d been sweating. 

Although the birthday party had been a lot of fun, you both were more than ready to go home, grateful for the drastic change in noise and temperature. 

Pietro, who is about as drunk as you, takes your hand as he raises his other to signal to one of Tony’s driver’s that he’s ready to go. He lets go of it almost immediately, as you slide into the backseat, but quickly grabs it again once he’s positioned his head to rest on you and slurs a “thank you” to the driver. It will be a long car drive home, but you don’t mind. 

“Do you remember when I had that apartment over here? In, uhh, Greenwich I think.” You can feel the vibrations against your head as he speaks and they soothe you. You nod, remembering what he had told you around the time he started renting it. 

~

You and Pietro were in a cab, heading back to the Stark Tower after attending a Gala that was “important for press” as Tony put it. 

“You know, I rent an apartment on Cornelia Street.” You think it’s random for him to have said, but glancing around you realize you’re quite near it. As you meet his eyes, a flurry of thoughts run through your head, leading you to perk up. 

“Oh my god, do you live near Taylor Swift?! I know she lives around here an-” 

“I tell you I’m secretly renting an apartment, despite already having a place to live, and your first thought is Taylor Swift?” He says it like he’s offended, but he’s grinning the whole time at you. You nod frantically.  

“On a serious note though, why?” You ask him, wanting him to elaborate on his first thought. 

“I’ve never truly lived on my own. Wanda’s always been there, and then I immediately moved into a place with so many people coming and going. Sometimes, I just want to be alone.” You touch his hand lightly and give him a gentle, closed-lip smile. 

“I think that is a perfectly valid reason.” 

~

“I do. You loved that place, especially after missions.” You recall, staring out the windshield. The lights of the city had always left you dazzled, moreso now that you were drunk. 

“Yeah, but I liked it more with you around.” He presses a kiss to your head. 

~ 

Your feet were tired, mostly because Wanda and Nat insisted that Gogo boots would be super cute and if you got drunk enough (a difficult feat with your super-powered body), you wouldn’t feel it. 

And while they were right on the cute part, by the time you were reaching the last stretch before Pietro’s apartment, you were near tears with how much you just wanted to rest them. The place Tony held his Halloween party wasn’t far from there, but you underestimated how long it would feel by the end of the night. You abruptly stop when you feel a few rain drops , and groan. Pietro stops next to you just as quickly. 

“You okay?” He asks and then suddenly feels the drops. You sigh. 

“My feet hurt so bad that I’m about to cry and now we have to walk in the rain the rest of the way back.” He stares at you for a moment, contemplating. He’s been staring at you a lot lately, even when he thinks you don’t notice. And he’ll hold your hand a lot more, and he’s been kissing you on the cheek more often. Things friends typically don’t do. 

“I can help you with pain, I’ll just carry you back, but,” he pauses. “You have to dance in the rain with me once we get back.” 

“Doesn’t that….kinda defeat the purpose of carrying me back? I’ll still have to stand and move around to do that once we get back.” 

“Then I’ll just put your feet on mine and move us. Problem solved,” he squats down, curls bouncing slightly. Thankfully, you had gone the practical route and decided on shorts. (Matt Murdock had recently been employed as the Avenger’s lawyer, but you had found out about his Daredevil side and thought it would be hilarious to dress up as a “sexy Daredevil” for Halloween, hence the Gogo boots. When you described him your costume, he laughed at you, but approved.)

By the time you were set down in front of Pietro’s building, it was raining harder. But at that point, your feet didn’t hurt as badly as before, and you were soaking in Pietro’s warmth as you took advantage of being close to him. 

“Thank you.” You give him a grin, holding out your hand. “My good sir, would you ever be so kind as to offer a simple girl such as I a dance?” He looked at you like you had two heads before grinning back at you and pulling you closer. You could hear music from one of the apartments around, and danced to the bass of what you thought was “Monster Mash.” 

Once the song ended, you shivered and he raised his eyebrows at you, nodding his head towards the door. You muttered a quick yes but he paused for a moment longer, staring at you and your soaking wet form. Goosebumps covered your arms and your hair looked like you had just taken a shower. He leaned forward and gave you the lightest of kisses against the lips, shocking you to your core, before punching in his code and grabbing your hand to lead you upstairs, ready to decompress from the night. 

~

“I did stay there quite a bit, huh? Kinda defeated the purpose of you living alone,” you mention and he lifts his head to look at you. 

“I had already been living there for a month, I still wanted you around then though. You know me, I do what I want,” he told you, looking you in the eyes. 

You think leaving the party had sobered you significantly, but you were always tipsy off of the way Pietro treated you. He made you feel so loved, in a way no one before him had ever even remotely done, and he never felt fake about anything. There was no pressure to be someone you weren’t, or do something you didn’t want to. You smiled as you played with the engagement ring with your right hand, Pietro’s holding your left hand. 

“What are you thinking about?” You ask him, tilting your head. 

“Just how lucky I am to have you. Я тебя люблю.” It makes you smile. You had learned Russian for a mission once, in an intense course, and he wanted to support you, so he took it with you. It made you reciprocate the sentiment exactly. 

“Я тоже тебя люблю.” You lean your head back against him, the tapering of the alcohol making you drowsy. You recount more times on Cornelia Street. 

~

It was quite the common occurrence for you to be at Pietro’s apartment without him there, especially when anxious.  

Today was no exception. 

You and Pietro decided to book a spontaneous trip to Lake Como last week, but ironically, that was not the reason you were anxious, just the reason you were there. Your flight would leave early next morning, allowing you to sleep on the plane (“First class, Tony pays us well,” Pietro had insisted, in a sleep-deprived haze (it had been 3 A.M. after a rough mission), and who were you to deny him?). You would start your trip the minute you landed. 

No, you were anxious solely because you started to worry he didn’t want to go anymore. It seemed irrational, but it was the only thought bouncing around your head. Maybe you had been coming to his apartment too much, so he was avoiding you. Maybe he was out with another girl right now, having a one night thing before he was stuck on vacation with you for a week. 

And that thought is what did it in for you. 

He hadn’t necessarily even done anything for him to make you feel this way, and you knew that. You knew it was all in your head, a product of the continuous discarding of you in the past by others. How they would use you as a status symbol, wanting the notoriety of having a girlfriend, the prestige of being with someone so gorgeous and intelligent, and then when they realized you wouldn’t put out, they would leave, or cheat, or slowly distance themselves until you couldn’t handle the lack of reciprocation and broke it off. 

You didn’t want to be hurt that deeply again. Losing your best friend because he knew you were in love with him and didn’t feel the same. Wanda had to have said something to him by now, right? (Wrong, but you didn’t know that at the time. Wanda protected your secrets with her life.). 

Consumed with nauseating dread, you grabbed your bags and anything else you had left there (a few jackets and t-shirts) and quickly locked the door behind you, heading to your car. 

~

You hadn’t been driving for too long, New York traffic impeding your progress. It was fairly late in the evening, so you felt that it was even worse. You just wanted to get out of there, maybe even just pack up and leave, start over somewhere else, get a new job. But you knew you were being unreasonable, you just wanted to clear your head before you explained yourself to Pietro.

You’re just coming to a stop again when you jolt at the sound of your phone ringtone blaring through your car’s bluetooth. You already know who it is, but are hesitant to answer. You take a deep breath and click ‘accept.’  

“Where are you?” he says, sounding out of breath. You want to just hold it in, just let yourself calm down, but the thing with Pietro is that he always knew just the way to get you to open up. And that’s what you did. 

“Look, I'm just overthinking right now and I think I just need to go home and not do this vacation.” 

“What are you overthinking about?” You hesitate again, but decide that you can’t keep doing this back and forth forever. 

“I can’t tell what you’re feeling. Sometimes I think you could like me back, other times it seems like you’re not interested in me anymore. I can’t tell what’s going on and it’s freaking me out and then you were late and I got worried that maybe you had someone else you were hanging around and liked them more and-”

“Just come back home. Please.” His voice is raw with emotion, like how he’ll sound sometimes when he’s getting worked up or near tears. You’ve only heard it a few times, but those few times made you know you didn’t ever want to hear it again. 

“I’m on my way, traffic’s being a bitch though.” That got a little chuckle out of him and you felt better, turning around the first moment you could. 

~

“Why did you leave?” He’s frantic but attempting (terribly) to hide it the minute you step in front of him. He had been waiting on the sidewalk out front for you. 

“I told you, I’m overthinking like crazy. It literally drove me insane.” You feel ashamed now, seeing how much he cared that you were missing. You wondered why you even began thinking that way to begin with. 

“Don’t you get it? How much more obvious can I be that I’m in love with you and only you? I mean I compliment you all the time, I kissed you on Halloween, I’m only touchy with you. If I’m gone or don’t respond it’s because I’m busy or overwhelmed, not because I’m ignoring you.” 

You freeze. Your fears begin to subside and you take a step towards him, suddenly he’s grabbing you by the waist and brushing your hair away from your face with both hands. He presses gentle kisses along the entirety of your face before gently placing a kiss on your lips, for the first time since that Halloween night.

For a moment, you forget that you’re outside. You forget that anything outside of you two exists. All you can focus on is the softness of his lips, how his hands rest gently on your face. 

~~

This was not how you were expecting to spend the day before your wedding. It was just a whim, one last little walk down memory lane before you were going to spend the rest of your life with the man that was walking beside you. You’re not sure why this made you nervous. 

“You’ve got a death grip on my hand, are you alright my love?” Pietro’s looking at you when you look up at him, biting your lip and loosening your grip a little.

“Yeah, just been nervous. Not sure why either.” He nods and soon you arrive at the door of the apartment. He had been preparing this as a surprise for you for a while, and worked it out with the apartment company to visit momentarily. However, Pietro has never been one to keep secrets from you, and told you a few days ago when he got everything worked out. 

When you step foot into the apartment, you’re hit with a wave of nostalgia, thinking back to every type of memory you two had here. 

How he had brought you up after his confession and slow-danced with you in the kitchen with the lights dimmed. 

Your first major argument where you went and sobbed on his balcony, and how he almost immediately folded and held you after, apologizing profusely.

Stumbling around his apartment drunkenly during a party he had thrown, looking for him. He found you, far more sober than you were, and immediately led you to grab water. You started crying because of your confusion due to your drunken state and he held you close before making you lie down in his room, ending the party slightly earlier than planned so that you could rest. 

You turn to him and you can tell he’s deep in thought with how quiet he’s gone, staring at the bare apartment around you both. 

“Do you think the mark from where Bucky accidentally bumped into the wall is still there?” You let go of Pietro’s hand momentarily and head to the doorway of the kitchen, eyes glancing over the wall. You wave him over and he’s there immediately, and you point out the small dent that many could easily overlook. 

He places a hand on your back and you realize then that tomorrow will be the start of the greatest chapter of your life. 

[askbensolo]

Hoooooo boy.

Dang I'm real sorry you had to go through that Ben, that sucks all over.

I have to say though, I think you maybe dodged a blaster bolt here.

A relationship ought to be made up of people with good communication and similar values and expectations, and if those arn't there, there really isn't much point to it.

It seems like both of you definitely have a roadblock in communication going, and while that could definitely be overcome, truth is it sounds like Fanny has very different wants/needs/expectations for her future.

She seems to definitely expect there to be some sort of physical relationship eventually. Wether she just expects it due to thinking that's just how "relationships" work, or something she actually wants for herself, just on her own time table, it does sound from what you wrote that she is at least more interested/affected by sex then you are.

It also sounds from her saying she wants to wait for her first kiss to be with someone she's engaged to, and that she's liked you for years but was willing to suffer in silence that she's a romantic at heart. She will want you to do romantic things for her in order to feel loved and appreciated.

And if neither sex nor romance are things you feel like you could ever want, I wouldn't go through with this. Both of you will just end up miserable, and neither of you deserve that.

Best of luck man, and sorry again that you have to deal with this

Hiiiii I'm sober tonight but I had a pretty good day today so I think I can handle this one on jellyfruit sparkling water alone.

So…the idea of romance is beginning to grow on me, even if it’s hard for me to pick out what makes it different from friendship. I can kind of sort it out by asking myself whether the things I’d like to do with her are different from things I’d like to do with my college buddies, and—yeah. Yeah, they are. Sorry, Treeso ol’ pal, but I’m not about to slow-dance in the kitchen with you—not without an unhealthy amount of alcohol, anyway. I’m probably never gonna be as much of a hopeless romantic as Fannie is, but…I think there are things I could learn. I even think I could kiss her one day. Just…just not yet.

But…sex is different. I don’t know if…I can ever do that.

And you're right. That's a whole ‘nother thing to think about in this whole mess. At first, I thought Fannie and I were alike, since she's so…you know…vanilla. But I know she wants to be married, and she wants to have children, and...she probably wants other things too, like you said.

Part of it is just how I've always been. As if there was some kind of developmental stage that just never occurred for me (psychologically, I mean). But I think some of it has to do with...Snoke. He took residence in my mind for years, and although I was sixteen when he first made contact, who knows how long he was there before that? And then eventually he won my trust and affections, and began to meet with me outside of my mind...and even though the memories are fuzzy...I remember certain things. He used to hold me in his arms while I cried. Cradle my face in his hands. Run his fingers through my hair. I kissed him on the cheek once, in the sunken hollow of his scars. Don't get me wrong, he and I never did anything weird together, but—

...No, what am I saying? Everything I just said is super weird. Aren’t I insane, trying to claim it wasn't weird I kissed an ancient raisin freak on his nasty, crusty face when I was a teenage boy—

But it was also the things he did to me mentally that stick with me. He used to probe my thoughts at night, and even though he could do that without actually touching me, it was...just as bad as it sounds. I remember being scared and skinny and sixteen, lying on my back and staring at the ceiling, trying to keep still while he entered my head. Trying to relax so that it wouldn’t hurt as much. I’d feel his presence pushing against the perimeter of my mind, harder and harder, until my resistance snapped, like a rubber band stretched to its limit, and then it was like my soul ruptured and bled out all around me on the bed while his cold bony hands were feeling around my brain, and pulling stuff out, and examining things, and rearranging them, while I kind of went into shock and laid there frozen with tears streaming down my face and waited for him to be done—

Actually no I don't want to talk about this anymore. Throwing up in my mouth just a little bit.

...Sparkling water break. Ahh, the refreshing taste of carbonated water that was once in the same room as someone imagining a jellyfruit.

But, yeah…I just can’t think about being naked with someone, without being reminded of how that felt.

Um—I wasn’t physically naked with him. Again, I hate that that’s something I legitimately need to clarify. Just…naked in every single other sense of the word, to the point that I may as well have been.

And…it’s hard for me sometimes, because it sort of makes me feel like…like I’m not a guy or something. I mean, I know I’m a guy, I just mean…most guys aren’t afraid of sex. Quite the opposite, in fact. You remember I was homeschooled, right? Well, I learned a lot of new things in college. And I learned to pretend like I wasn’t afraid, you know, when the fellas were hanging out and swapping stories, and I’d just sit there, and try to laugh at the appropriate times…

I kind of told Treeso a little bit, since we were close buds. Not about Snoke specifically, but just…that something bad had happened to me when I was a teenager. Treeso was a solid dude, despite presenting like your typical frat bro, and he started taking me to the gym and joked that he was gonna make sure I got jacked so no one could ever hurt me again. I don’t think Snoke would be deterred by my biceps…but I did get a lot more confident.

And more physically attractive. I mean. Come on. I know I look good. I like looking good. But it never changed how I felt about…you know.

So…yeah. I never really worked on addressing this particular little trauma, since A) um…AUGHHHHHHHGHHGHHH and B) it didn’t seem like a problem, since I was so sure I was gonna be single forever. When this whole thing with Fannie started, I thought about it only a little...and part of me was like, hey, maybe she’d be okay with not...really...doing that?

But…that’s kind of a huge ask, isn’t it. It doesn’t make sense to me, but sex is kind of a big deal to most people, huh.

...Who knows. Maybe it would have been to me, too, if I hadn’t been…if Snoke hadn’t…

...I mean...what if this isn't just "how I am"? What if he made me this way, and now there's just a crucial part of my adult self that never got to form, that's broken, that I’ll never experience the same way other people do, that I can never get back, and...that I can never offer her…

...Oh Force. The sparkling water cannot save me. I know I like her. I know I love her. I'm even pretty sure now that I'm in love with her. But everything's all wrong, and I'm all wrong, I'm so screwed up, I'm screwed up in ways I've never fully realized, and probably screwed up in ways I don't even know yet—I mean look at me I’m not even a real man I mean what an absolute loser how can I look so damn good without a shirt but totally freak at the thought of getting in bed?? I'm such a weak kriffing beta failure I freaking hate myself and I bet she’d only end up hating me too and—and—and—okay, calm down, Ben, calm down, keep it chill…

…Okay. So. Clearly, this will not be my last time thinking about this. I am very tempted to throw it out of my brain and never think about it again, but…no. This feels…important to me.

Note to self. Need to buy more sparkling water.

[marengogo]

The Thing Is: - 1 : BALANCE.

Listening to INDIGO by RM on repeat. STILL. YUP, STILL ON THE REPEAT TRAIN 😬.

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

So this is what I’d like to call an educated rant about Capulates (aka most Taekookers) and Montagues (aka some Jikookers). In fact, this is mostly a rant about the things that both “families” cause on that godforsaken bird app, which apparently we can’t live with but also can’t live without I’ll explain this more in depth in my Ted-Talk. This is a rant about BALANCE and ultimately its lack thereof. That being said, to make it all make sense, let’s begin with some context and, like I always do, let me make it relevant and personal.

When it comes to Jikookers in general, I firmly believe that what I am about to talk about is known by a few, should be known by many but unfortunately is ignored/irrelevant to the vast majority and now that, THAT, is a fucking pity. One of my favourite quotes is “Patience is a virtue, Possess it if you can, Seldom found in woman, Never found in man”. Admittedly, we could stay here and argue about every single word from the Seldom to the man part of this quote, but what I’d like you to please focus on is the ”Patience is a virtue, Possess it if you can…” part. 

I used to be a very silent, and calm, person and with those traits also came an infinite amount of patience; there was a time I used to boast about my patience. Alas, what I didn't know was that Life had made up a whole shitty plan for me. Right from when I was 11 it decided that “you know what? You seem like you could handle a huge amount of different types of shit all at once, and I just so happen to have loads of shit but no place where to put it so… here! You can have some of it!” And so it was that shit was systematically piled on me constantly, and I dealt with it patiently, respectfully and with dignity until I turned 24 when something major happened to me that made me snap and I turned into the quick-to-anger adult that some may know me to be nowadays (for context, I’m in my 30s right now).

The funny, but not-so-funny, thing is that when I snap I do it around those who are closest to me. Snapping has become the way I let out my true self as an unhealthy result of keeping everything bottled in for so long, which was indeed bad handling on my side, but I really didn’t know any better. It must be said though,  that when I snap, I don’t snap at my close friends (... family tho, is a different story …) what I do is let out my frustration with them, which usually goes like this: 

UNOPENED TEXT from Close Friends (CFs) (but thank god for text previews!): Gurl, how was the weekend?

ME: I see there is a text from my close friend/s, but I’m so busy and stressed that I don’t even want to open it knowing that I wouldn’t be able to either hold a proper convo or say anything positive. BUT in the back of my head I know there is a message from the important people in my life waiting: and I add unreasonable “stress”.

UNOPENED TEXT from CFs: send funny images or vocal messages.

ME: I’m still not willing to just open the message to just leave it without a reply, so I keep ignoring. But still I know the message is there, hence “stress” keeps adding.  

finally OPENED TEXT from CFs: Call me when you can or shall we meet this weekend?

So then eventually I make an effort, get out of my head ass, and make time call and …

ME: Gurl, how have you been? … yeah man I’m like super exhausted and [PROCEEDS TO ENGAGE IN THIS UNPROVOKED LONG ASS RANT ABOUT HER WEEK. LIKE REALLY LONG. LIKE A GOOD 30mins AT LEAST, which could have been avoided if I had made time through the week when they actually texted 🙃] … but enough about me, tell me all about what happened to you?

Its hella hypocritic and weird but my CFs know exactly how I am, and how to handle me, and in the same way I also know how to handle their unique traits, so keeping this in mind, I try not to feel too bad about my lack of constant communication and my sudden vomiting of emotions thereafter, it's between me and them, them and me, and if you are not within our circle, you would never now and it is very frankly nobody else's business.

That being said, all things considered, I still somehow tend to be quite patient when it comes to things that are not directly related to me and I’ve also found out that I have an “interesting” amount of self-control. Just like Patience, I do think that Self-Control is a virtue. Both virtues would allow us to reach Balance which I believe is ultimately what we should be aiming for in life and how actually life works. 

Now, where am I going with this? And how does it relate to Capulets & Montagues (C&M)? Does it even relate to Jikook? Gurl, what?!

… Bear with me just a little longer.

Balance. My life has been devoted to finding balance in everything, reason why I love grey so much for example (though my fav color is actually BLUE 💙). When balanced you can confidently move forward, hypothetically causing no immediate harm  and also for example not snap 😬. But what is balance? Following is the dictionary definition pertaining to this subject:

a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.

Okay. So, the way I see it, there are 2 obvious ways you can obtain balance:

Two opposite but equal forces being applied on an object which will either cause it to stay still in a balanced stop or even move in a balanced way

The application of no force. If an object is not moving it is indeed balanced as its present situation is not altering.

And here is where we finally talk about C&M and Twitter.

Capulets & Montagues respectively believe that their ship is THE ONE and they will resort to any emphasis on the ANY means necessary to battle each other and prove that they are right, be it breach of privacy of the individuals they swear they love and respect, or complete lack of common sense, YOU NAME IT!, if it assures them a winning tweet for the day; they will use it.

Have you noticed how, even though I call them Capulets and Montagues, I do not refer to JK & JM as Romeo & Juliet? They are in a difficult environment, for sure, but I do not believe that their story must end in tragedy. Basically I do not believe them to be star-crossed lovers. HOWEVER most Taekookers and some Jikookers do believe that. C&M are living within the  wrong story, so to say, as in, this is really  NOT Romeo & Juliet but they unprovoked decided that this IS Romeo & Juliet: Do I make sense? But how to blame them? Most Taekookers and some Jikookers are exactly like Capulets and Montagues and like all similarly belligerent parties before them: Blind with nonsensical rage and motivated by misplaced righteousness. 

On a weekly basis Capulates will “find” something damning about Taekook and taunt Montagues about it. Montagues will try if possible to debunk it, hence starting a fight. The following day, Montagues will “discover” their version of something damning about Jikook and taunt Capulets. Capulets will try their very best to debunk it while starting a fight. Oh and solo THV, PJM and JJK will also add to the mix just to add some flare to the already flabbergastingly stupid occurance. All the while, they all will be intently ignoring and completely not caring about this very damning fact: Taehyung loves Jungkook & Jimin, Jungkook loves Taehung & Jimin and Jimin loves Taehyung & Jungkook in ways THEY ONLY KNOW and it is very frankly none of our business.

At this point this might make you recall a couple of things I wrote a couple of paragraphs earlier … such as, yes, BALANCE; a situation in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. Capulets & Montagues. One attacks, the other counterattacks and viceversa over and over again, like a very malicious and impeccably accurate Newton’s cradle.The only way to stop ANY Newton’s cradle, would be an external force causing it to stop. A full stop. 

In the C&M case, this full stop would have to come from VMinKook and they would have  to come out and state: “This is how things are…”. However, not only it is absolutely not their requirement to do so, but given that this hasn’t happened yet, we can respectfully deduce that either they can’t currently expose their own current truth (which is a unfortunately a narrative favourable to both C&M alike… ) or that they don’t really care about C&M fights, which I wouldn’t blame them for either.

Now, if you follow me, you know where I stand, right? You know that I do think that there might be something going on between JK and JM, right? So my belief is that this Newton’s Cradle is also being perhaps unwillingly kept in motion by the fact that currently JK & JM as well as Tae are righteously keeping very much to themselves, like I’ve explained in the Loud Art of Silence . There’s been a bit of a change in the VMinKook dynamics since 2019 hasn’t it? Taekook had a heart-to-heart during In The Soop in 2020 after which they successfully started mending the awkward tension in their relationship.

As for Jikook, other than Big Hit/HYBE, group, subgroup and birthday lives, they haven’t been sharing much with us have they? Yet every time we get a glimpse at them, say during concerts or awards ceremonies, they act and interact as we’ve known them to, so one could conclude that it took them a good 6 years but they’ve seemingly finally transitioned into being more private about their relationship. Good for them, truly, applaud them for that but Montagues … Montagues are really not about that life: If Jikook keeps shit to themselves, how are they going to win their weekly Twitter Battles? And mind you this has nothing to do with those Jikookers who rectifyi facts that Capulets constantly go around distorting, which also happens on a daily basis on this blasted bird app.

You know what happened in my brain when I realised that the Boys were gonna go and serve in the military? Aside from the ugly AF crying I realised and accepted that we would most likely get nothing new from Jikook until 2025 when they would all be back together and would supposedly no longer owe anything to any greater entity. This was when I also realised that I would have to be really patient and apply a lot of self-control. I realised that I would miss Jikook interacting, I would miss that a lot, but there would be nothing I could do about it. 

Until 2025 the C&M Twitter Balance will keep balancing and that is just a fact. “Well then bitch stay away from Twitter!” I would, trust me, I wish I could, but the reality is that the bird app is unfortunately the place where you get ANY news in the timeliest of manners and from there it is a battle to figure out veracity of said information. At the end of the day information is power and what you decide to do, as well as not to do, with it also defines character.

Until 2025 patience, self-control and balance, in all their forms are going to be key. As well as constantly reminding oneself that regardless of our beliefs, feelings and speculations Jikook are not a confirmed couple and they owe us nothing. However, y’all best believe that nothing lasts forever, and these are grown ass men, so when they’ll be out of the military their chapter 3 will start and most likely big changes in their lives will also follow and then, right about then, we will get that heavy-ass-hammer-fall-full-stop to the C&M Twitter Balance which might still continue with the deeply cray-cray part of the fandom, right then, truths will be revealed and we will have to accept them. So until then let’s keep reminiscing gratefully and accepting whatever we are given graciously.

… Until then, always respectfully yours 💜💛🫰🏾

Marengo

[livehexmoments]

here’s some Hex hcs about some of the characters in no particular order!:

Reginald doesn’t like drinking rootbeer or most sodas! he likes making it, serving it (used to kind of), but gag if he has too much of it. He only drinks it in small sips and even then, it’s only for special occasions or get togethers. He actually prefer things that are sour and i mean, this man can eat a lemon whole and be fine. He has been working on making specialized rootbeer that’s more sour but it’s a work in progress (Weasel accidently drank a sample and almost threw up)

Reggie’s first name is Rootbeer and he fucking hates being called that. Every time he introduces himself, he has to insist the person calls him “Reggie”. When the patrons found about this, you can bet Weasel and Chandrelle took turns calling him Rootbeer just to piss him off

Going off of names, “Chief Bryce” is not Bryce’s full name, it’s just Bryce. Chief is just a title. If anyone did call him Chief, he wouldn’t mind at all though

FPP’s actual name is Lionel according to the Walk, but due to...reasons, they don’t like the name at all. Honestly, I think they would change their name to “Joe”. It sounds weird, but when Rebecha called them “Faceless Joe” I can totally imagine them clinging onto the name only because it has barely any association with Lionel. They try to separate themselves from Lionel so much.

O btw in my hc, FPP uses they/them pronouns exclusively!!

FPP has a couple ways of communicating with the inn members: sign language (they learned how to do it themselves and then taught the others how to. Can be difficult for them because they can’t move their arms very well), Morse code (same story), simply drawing or writing it out, using sound effects from a soundboard they found (uses this if they want to annoy everyone), or using face masks to express how they feel about something. 

Oh yeah speaking of that, FPP can’t really move their joints very well :(. They can move their arms up and down as an example, but can only move them left or right a little bit.

Rust’s vision is super fucked. Literally, he can’t see anything that isn’t 2 feet in front of him. 

Rust does know that Rocky isn’t his biological son, just never cared to tell Rocky because 1. he didn’t want Rocky feeling any type of way and 2. It doesn’t matter to him that much, Rocky will always be his kid, regardless if they are biologically related

Lazarus has cosmic radiation, thats canon. But, because of said radiation, his immune system is incredibly weak. If he gets the flu, he’ll go from being sick to critical condition in minutes. It’s also why he does get sick often

While Catarina says their relationship is like “Master/follower” it’s really not the case. However, I will say that it can sometimes manifest and is an unhealthy flaw of their relationship. Jeremiah can be a bit too loyal to the point of putting himself in danger to get Reggie what he wants and Reggie's stubbornness can lead him to getting mad when Jerry says no (Which is rare). Still, fighting between them is rare and when it does happen, it is absolutely not something you want to stick around for. 

Thankfully, they don’t last very long because they’re both lonely and being away from each other for more than 10 minutes is painful. Longest they fought and refused to talk to each other was a month (and it was hell for everyone involved)

Chandrelle is introverted as hell!! I usually think of her and Lazarus on opposite sides of being antisocial. like “oh no people!! (Lazarus) vs. Ew people (Chandrelle)”

FPP loves giving hugs and holding hands!! They were stuck in the walk which had barely any characters they could physically interact with so sometimes they’ll go up to any of them and either ask for a hug or hold out their hand. 

FPP does love his new found family very much. For all their flaws, he does appreciate how they basically accepted them in and it shows with how nice they are to them...even if they can be a bit creepy about it, by following them around and trying to hang out or watching them do their thing intently

Lazarus doesn’t smile very often, but when he does, it’s the most awkward smile ever. Even his laugh sounds a bit off because he’s not used to doing it. Chandrelle loves it though, it’s honestly cute (He gets a bit annoyed when she says that)

JUNIOR TRANS!!! Changed his gender after SOL and went to Vicious Galaxy (Moji is a gender neutral name with Moglees and honestly look at them, they do have a little bit gnc swag). Also in the files, he goes being referred to “mojikid” or “kid” to “mojison” so,,,  trans rights. Also love the idea of Lazarus and him having a moment of understanding with each other

I imagine Wizarro constantly changes his story with the lipstick on his cheek and how he got it (“I was in a dating sim once”, “it was a secret in joke with the creators”, and “I had a secret relationship with one of the fighters ;)” as examples). Are any of them true? Probably not but he just likes to fuck with people, hes a funny little wizard man.

Ok one more because this is getting long: I hc Irving as bisexual. Not just because I am making “every dmg character is queer” a reality but also because of this meme: “get a girlfriend” “or a boyfriend! He’s bi.” “Damn nobody wants you fr 😂😂 ” “I’m saying like 😂😂” (Changed it to laughing because i love bullying him FWQEWERG, imagine any of the inn patrons @ him)

[beepborpdoodledorp]

I must have a social death wish to bring up CRK shipping discourse twice within less than a week but I just need to vent to the void or else I feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust. Like honestly I won’t blame you at all for staying as far away from this as possible I just need to get this out of my system 

CRK shipping just…confuses me. More so than other fandoms I've been in, because if it's a fandom then there's going to be shipping and if there's shipping things are going to get weird, but CRK is just, like. A vortex of things that baffle me. I brought up this point a pretty long time ago, but why do so many of CRK's ships, popular or not, are between people who just…don't like each other? At all? Crack ships are one thing, which - again - I can absolutely get behind. Sometimes you just want two people to kiss for shits and giggles and I have zero issue with that - Affocream's a star example for the CRK community. I mean, I ship Black Raisin and Caramel Arrow - two characters who have never had a single canon interaction - just because they're two of my favorites and I think it would be cute and funny if two emos with big-ass ponytails smooched each other. 

But why are there people who see two characters who either don't like or outright despise each other and think, in-canon, unironically, that they'd make a good couple? ChiliRye, for example. They're friends for a bit, sure, but under false pretenses, and once those false pretenses are cleared up they go right back to being enemies and there hasn't been any development between the two of them since. RedPastry I have sort of a love-hate relationship with, mainly because I think their dynamic of each being raised under abusive parental figures and being reflections of each other but not realizing it to be super interesting, but they still hate each others' guts and don’t have any development beyond that. I think RedPastry works more as a platonic enemies-to-extremely-begrudging-fondness dynamic more than anything. Hell, until Odyssey, I didn't even like Espresseleine because up until that point Espresso had done nothing but treat Madeleine horribly and make it clear he couldn't stand him, and not even in a tsundere way. Odyssey gave them actual development in their relationship and managed to convince me they wouldn't completely destroy each other's mental health if they ever tried to be a couple. I quite like their dynamic now, but if Odyssey had never released I would've never had that change in opinion. Like, say what you want about PureCacao, especially after PureLily was confirmed as canon, but at least it's made clear the two of them like each other.

And I need to vent about Wildclotted/Clottedchip. Again. The latter more specifically. I do have to admit that me targeting these two rather niche pairings specifically does have to do with my unhealthy Wildchip and Clottcier patriotism, but even before I got invested in both the characters and the pairings shipping Clotted Cream with Wildberry/Crunchy Chip just confused the hell out of me. Wildberry's either neutral to negative towards Clotted Cream throughout the entirety of Odyssey, and Crunchy Chip makes it clear very outwardly that he hates Clotted Cream's guts and threatened him with violence multiple times. Even if you see Wildberry and Crunchy Chip's relationship as strictly platonic, how, by those standards, could you possibly see their interactions with Clotted Cream as romantic? I love the Odyssey quartet with all my heart, but they're not even friends. There's never a point where Wildberry/Crunchy Chip ever made amends with Clotted Cream, or even hint at ever growing a better relationship with him. Wildberry and Crunchy Chip are friends, and Clotted Cream and Financier are friends (at some point…), and Wildberry and Crunchy Chip seem pretty neutral towards Financier, but put all four of them in a room together and there will probably be a lot of screaming and insults. That's why I find them as a group so interesting! Begrudging coworkers! Forced proximity! It's entertaining! It's interesting! It shows sides of each of the characters that you wouldn't see otherwise! In my opinion, eliminating any tension is just watering down the quartet's relationship and making it…boring. And very, very confusing.

Also, Affocara. Need I say anything else. I don't know how it got so popular. I don't know how people saw this man trying to repeatedly sabotage and eventually indirectly end a woman's life and thought 'they'd make a good couple'. I. Just. How.

I get shippers are gonna ship and all. I've been in the fandom scene since I was, unfortunately, barely a preteen and I've seen...things. But the CRK fandom's approach to shipping is just the most baffling I've seen out of any fandom I've been in and I just get more and more confused each day. Honestly, maybe it was a subconscious decision but it could be why I've just latched onto like three or four ships and just ignored the rest of the community. Seriously, I can count the amount of CRK ships I'm invested in on one hand, and I'm just starting to realize why that might be the case. Sure, the practice might be harmless, and obviously all the ships I've criticized can't even come close to how problematic just the inherent concept of proshipping is, but some of them just make me feel icky regardless.

[strawbrygashez]

Didn’t think I would ever post in the mtl tag again bc I got rlly bad burn out from being obsessed with the show like uhhh 3 or 4 years ago BUT… I saw the trailer for the new movie and it’s creeping into my mind again 🤦‍♀️ and like always I think of my current fandoms mixed with other shows and stuff I like soo I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW WELL NIGHTCORD FROM PJSK & DETHKLOK would work together!!

Like I was thinking about it & was surprised how similar members of both bands are to each other.. so here is a big ramble about my thoughts on it and who I think would be closest to who🧍

————————————————————————

Pickles & Mizuki! Both are mostly carefree, outgoing social butterfly characters who like to have fun & are the mediators between their friends sometimes when arguments happen. Also they both have their own problems that they’d rather push to the side for the most part so they can just keep ‘having fun’ instead. I can see them getting along super easily.

Toki & Mafuyu. Both have trauma bc of their parents. (I was also thinking Mafuyu is also kinda like Pickles since they both have trauma specifically from their moms). Both of them get into weird trances & both do care for their parents even though they were abused by them. Both of them have major death/empty themes going on.

Nathan & Kanade. Both are very serious about their music to a degree where it can be unhealthy. (Nathan making his friends upset bc he won’t stop until a song/recording is perfect & early/current-ish Kanade doesn’t allow herself to take many breaks when it comes to making music.) Both just seem very alike to me with the way they express themselves too tho obviously Kanade is more open, honest & friendly. They’d be exactly the same if Nathan just allowed himself to show that he cares lol. Plus!! They both have long hair and love their dads :) Oh also both their songs save people tho Nathans music saves ppl/the earth in more of a fantasy way while Kanade makes music to give people hope and save her friend Mafuyu, from s*icide.

Skwisgaar & Ena- Perfectionists. They also are quick to bicker with a certain other member. (Ena & Mafuyus relationship reminds me of Skwis & Tokis besides the whole Toki wanting to be like Skwis thing). They both get very moody and can come off very self absorbed but its just bc of their mental health and the way they cope with things.

Uhmmm since Nightcord only has 4 members & none of them remind me of Murderface.. I don’t really know what to say about him 😭 Other than I think him & Nightcord miku would get along bc she’s already used to playing therapist LOL & he’d probably end up crying bc she’s really sweet. He could say whatever or do weird shit like stab stuff and she’d be like •_•? for the most part. Like she would just ask if he wants to talk about what’s troubling him. She wouldn’t pick on him for anything he’s saying and he’d just start sobbing. I love Nightcord miku so much oh my god

[peronasghosts]

Uhh Kagehina royjamiekeeley and idk toh but lumity??? For the ask game

kagehina!!! literally my favorite ship ever. never going to get over them they are my dumb little guys for ever and ever. i think that hinata is transmasc and kageyama is non-binary and transfem. also i like them being in a qpr!! i think their relationship is so complex that they wouldn’t want to just call it romance. they’d want something More, and that’s what a qpr could be to them!

royjamiekeeley!! i put down unhealthy bc of the ethical dilemmas with royjamie but i think they’d like. talk with their lawyers and work something out bc football is too important to both of them for either of them to be reckless with it. anyway i love them <3

lumity <3 ok i have some controversial ones here. i think they’re t4t bc both luz and amity deserve to have funky queer genders. the fandom and later parts of canon simplify them to Cute Couple and that’s not the weird girls i know and love. luz would find a cool bug on the ground, discover what species it is and learn all about it, then show it off to amity as a romantic gesture. and amity would be genuinely super touched. that’s not what happened in later parts of canon. or in fanon tbh.

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Eurovision 2023 final thoughts

Well, it’s been a few days since the final....the post-Eurovision depression is surely hitting many people like it is me. That feeling of “......now what? We have to wait a whole year?” after the dust clears......

But, I don’t feel like it’s truly over until I give my full thoughts on the results after I’ve calmed down and rewatched, so.....here goes!

MAN this was a good year. I’m not sure I can call it one of my favorites - it wouldn’t be fair to do that since it’s still fresh in my mind - but it’s certainly up there! Not only ending with a worthy winner and a worthy runner-up, but the production was incredible! You would’ve never guessed that this contest has given the UK so much grief over the years, cuz you can TELL that they still love it. I-it’s like....an unhealthy relationship, pfffff......

B-but I’m getting ahead of myself.....so, here goes.

Just a warning: I-I may come off as a bit....harsh at times here. I’ve just....seen some things I don’t agree with, and I wanted to respond to them in my own way....None of what I say is meant as an attack on any specific people, and you don’t have to read this if you don’t wanna. I-I just think it’d feel good to....release it all at once, both my happiness and my frustrations.....

This is coming from an unbiased American perspective, keep that in mind. Also, I’m someone who loved both Sweden AND Finland, so if you expect the venting I mentioned to be about me taking a side, it’s not.

Thoughts under the cut!

O-OK......so, first of all, production-wise....I really loved the co-hosting this year. I thought it was really unique, and it worked super well! I loved how the interval acts incorporated music from both countries, how the hosts were from both countries, Eurovision alumni from both countries were brought back, etc. Super cool and heartwarming at the same time. I did look it up, and yes, this IS the first time this kinda thing has happened, so I’m surprised at how well it worked.

That being said, the intervals weren’t my favorites ever.....but I personally LOVED the Sam Ryder song (”Mountain”, I think it was called), and I liked the Liverpool Songbook (the highlight of which being Daði Freyr  FINALLY getting to sing live at this dang contest, complete with the audience singing along with him), but the covers weren’t all-time greats for me, and a similar thing already happened in 2019 with former contestants singing each others’ songs, which I thought was more entertaining. Still, I had a good time! However, I think my favorite interval was actually the drag queens in the second semifinal. (I can’t remember the last time I preferred a semifinal’s interval.....this might’ve been the first time?)

The energy in the arena was contagious throughout the whole thing, as usual (especially when they absolutely lost it whenever Finland got points and chanted “CHA CHA CHA”), and of course we also had Graham Norton just.....being himself. I loved getting to hear his comments without having to wait for cheeky fans to provide links to BBC feeds I’m geoblocked from. That was cool. Also, thank GOD they got him to host, even if just for the final. It would’ve been a huge missed opportunity if they didn’t. XD The other hosts were good too, but he stole the show.

My only real “complaint” (besides the jury vote segment being less varied and fun to watch), and I use that lightly, is more of a nitpick, and that’s.....there was WAY too much red. I have no idea why this was, like.....there’s no way the lights were THAT limited, so it had to just be a really weird coincidence, right? But this is just a nitpick. It wasn’t awful, it was just....pretty distracting in points, how we’d have multiple songs in a row where everything is just RED. I get wanting to use a striking color, but I really could’ve used more variety in places. XD

As for the results, it’s....mixed. I agree with a lot of what did well, but there were a FEW songs I think deserved better than what they got. I don’t have a LOT to complain about, especially when looking at these numbers, but there were a few results I was absolutely scratching my head at. I think this year had more of those moments than other recent years.

I-I’ll do my best to try to understand those results......but FIRST.....I have some choice words.

(This is your last chance to stop reading)

So, I’m SUPER happy Sweden won. I think it was a well-deserved win, even if a bit predictable. Their song was amazing and well-performed by Loreen. While I don’t like “Tattoo” as much as “Euphoria”, it’s still a masterpiece, and her voice is still incredible and elevates it further into greatness. Not only that, but this is one of those songs that I like more when watching the live performance. It’s such a BIG BIG BIG song, that having it boom and resonate throughout a full arena just feels so right. And finally, one thing that I cannot praise enough is the EMOTION she sings it with. Especially in the final, and especially at the end of the song, I got goosebumps cuz it legitimately sounded like she was tearing up at the slow bridge. She knows how to sell you on every emotion this song wants you to feel, and almost comes off as....unpolished, but in the best possible way. Sometimes, vulnerability helps a lot in music.....

So, yeah, even though I DID want Finland to win, since I loved them more, I literally have no complaints with Sweden winning. It was a moving performance, one of the best vocals of the night, a beautiful song, the staging was great too....yeah, it was pretty much flawless. And I think Sweden were FAR overdue for tying Ireland’s record, since they’ve given 100% effort every single year, are absolutely in love with Eurovision, they know how it works and how to send quality. Ireland clearly haven’t been the masters of this contest for a LONG TIME, and it’s pretty obvious who took over.

THAT. Being. Said.....

While she HAS gotten a lot of love, I’m not gonna act like it’s all sunshine and rainbows. And the way some of Käärijä’s fans have been taking Loreen’s win, particularly on Twitter and even YouTube comments, has been just downright toxic. I can’t even read it after a while. Not saying they’re ALL like that, far from it......I’m just talking about the ones who say things like:

“The contest was RIGGED!” “The juries are ALWAYS biased towards Sweden, no matter what they send!” (they aren’t, but OK) “The result was predetermined from the start!”

Um.......did you miss the part where she came SECOND IN THE TELEVOTE!?!?

With Sweden’s highest televote score in....probably close to a decade!?

She did win the jury vote, yes, but jury winners have lost before. Heck, that exact thing happened to SWEDEN before. And Sweden have gotten poor televote results before, and they ARE able to finish on the right side of the scoreboard, which happened in 2021. The system is NOT rigged towards them at all, from what I can tell. And heck....I’ve been watching this contest since the votes were split, and literally the ONLY TIME the juries have piled votes on Sweden that they didn’t deserve was 2018 with “Dance You Off”. That’s it. (And before anyone says “well what about 2019?” THAT song was INCREDIBLE and it DESERVED its jury score and should’ve had more love from the televote, FIGHT ME) Yes, “Dance You Off” wasn’t that good a song, and didn’t deserve finishing in the top five. But it was elevated by its staging, so I can somewhat rationalize it? But that was literally the ONE TIME.....

From an unbiased point of view, I can say that Sweden ARE just that good at Eurovision, and people just LIKE their entries that much. This one, they brought back not only a former winner, but a near-universally-loved one, with an honest-to-god emotional powerbomb of a song. You shouldn’t immediately shout “RIGGED” when the juries love that, OK?

And AGAIN, even though their lead in the jury was by a wide margin, it wasn’t an insurmountable lead by any means! Finland would’ve won...

....if YOU PEOPLE didn’t vote for her so much, too!

You liked her. You loved her, even. Stop acting like you suddenly don’t love her anymore, just cuz she wasn’t the winner you personally wanted. Shouldn’t you be happy that A song you liked won, even if it isn’t your number one? C’mon....it should go without saying, right?

I myself would’ve LOST IT if Finland won, don’t get me wrong. Finland were my number two this year, and Sweden were my number eight (six in the final). So, yes, I WAS rooting for Finland. But I do love them both, and either would’ve been a worthy winner. Even though Loreen wasn’t my ideal winner, I still celebrated when she won, cuz hey, a song I loved still won! A good song, that deserved its acclaim! Even if it wasn’t the one I wanted more.

......I-I probably shouldn’t dwell too much on this.....There’s barely ever a winner that doesn’t have discourse around them in recent years....It’s in a Eurofan’s nature to be competitive....so, I-I’m sorry for going on about this. I-I just....got really bothered by the people claiming this win wasn’t legitimate in some way. I think it’s gross. This was a clear fan-favorite song, people loved it, and it got a lot of votes!

If there ARE people who actually didn’t like the song, and NEVER liked the song, and didn’t contribute to its win, then......I can’t, and won’t, force you to like it. And I get being salty when something you didn’t like won. I would be a hypocrite if I called you out on that, cuz I was in that exact position in 2017. I still remember how disappointed I was. But do you know how I dealt with that in 2017?

I kept my complaining to my personal bubble (this blog) and didn’t attempt to shove my opinions in people’s faces. I didn’t try to directly insult the artist or his fans when I did. I didn’t try to claim that he cheated! I just let off some steam, and talked about how I hated the song and didn’t agree with the win, and once I got it all out, I moved on. I got over it. No matter how I felt, he won fair and square.

And Loreen won fair and square. If you wanna cry about it, go ahead, but don’t claim the system is rigged just cuz you couldn’t handle it. The system is fine. She came first in the jury vote and second in the televote. That means she won. If you can’t deal with that, then cry about it where we who support her can’t see you....

Also, while a lot of people do agree with me on this, I still feel like there are some people who don’t realize how amazing a second place is for Finland. Normally such an underdog in Eurovision, this is literally their FIRST second place and only their SECOND TIME in the top ten after their win in 2006. Heck, it’s their FIRST time in the top FIVE since their win in 2006. All other years, either DNQ or towards the bottom in the final, no matter what they send. Good song after good song, overlooked. This is AMAZING for them. I don’t think anyone over there is complaining about this result. Even if they go back to the status quo next year, they can be proud of this one runner-up for a looooong time.

Not to mention that runners-up can be winners in their own right! Look at how iconic “Dancing Lasha Tumbai” has become! Heck, I even made a comment on Twitter saying something like “Why do I get the feeling that ‘Cha Cha Cha’ will be to ‘Tattoo’ what ‘Dancing Lasha Tumbai’ was to ‘Molitva’“. I was partly joking when I said that, pffffff...but I did make that parallel. The goofy, fun runner-up that was a huge fan-favorite, and the emotional winner that won people over come the contest proper. Which one of those two songs is the one that keeps showing up and has been kept alive as a symbol of the Eurovision spirit? That’s right....And there’ve been plenty of other songs that didn’t win, yet still became iconic. Ooh, ah, just a little bit~! Heh, so yeah, I really do think that Käärijä could easily become a Eurovision icon. You don’t have to win to become one of those~

Actually, since I’ve said all I wanted to about Sweden and am moving on to Finland.....Even if they didn’t get that win, they actually.....still did BETTER than I was expecting? I was legit worried about their jury score. I didn’t know how much the juries would like such a strange song, especially the live performance when the music kinda swallows him in the second half. But Finland actually got fourth with the juries, which made me super happy! They DO know how to have fun!

In my rankings post before the contest, I called “Tattoo” a masterpiece, but now that I think about it, I think “Cha Cha Cha” is a masterpiece too. I loved the song from first listen, but I mainly loved it for its catchiness, its wild energy, and how intense yet fun it was. But when I really listen to it hard, it’s kinda....INSANE how well it works? The two halves are so distinct from each other, yet they transition into one another so seamlessly, it’s crazy! If I tried to tell past me that I’d be in love with a song like this, and tried to describe it in text, I wouldn’t believe myself. On paper, this sounds like it’d be super disjointed and messy. “So, the first half is an intense nu-metal rap, and it turns into a happy party song in the second half“. WHAT? The fact that this works so well just means it was put together expertly and I HAVE to get credit where it’s due. I guess that could be part of what the juries saw in it too.

This might not be my overall favorite Finnish entry (that’s “Jezebel”), but it’s definitely in my top five favorite Finnish entries now. Could not be happier that it did so well and got Finland their second-best result ever. This song deserved to be the one to do that. They might’ve not beat Sweden, but they were the true underdog story this year. Finland CAN DO WELL IN EUROVISION, they can send bangers of songs, and people have FINALLY put respect on their name. WOO!

So.....I-I think that’s all I have to say about the top two......So, on to how I feel about the rest of the results. I-I’ll try to go a bit faster now.....

So, Israel in third......I-I didn’t totally call this at first, but after watching the performance, I realized how badly I underestimated them. Their song is normally only one that I can enjoy when I’m not thinking too hard, cuz the lyrics bug me and are, uh, hard to take seriously.....but as a spectacle, I enjoyed it a lot more, and I totally got swept up in it. It got the crowd energized in the similar way Finland did, and the dance break was the best one this year. It’s still far from a favorite of mine, but I get what people saw in it. I will admit that, once I figured out that they were gonna do a lot better in the jury vote than I expected (and Sweden weren’t super far ahead yet), I was briefly scared. I-I think I’ll always be scared of Israel winning in the upcoming years, cuz it’s.....it’s not worth the....everything that a win from them would cause, even if their song is good, so.....Yeah, I was briefly worried, but there was nothing to be worried about in the long run, so that was on me for having my mind jump to that, pffffff.

Italy did a LOT better than I expected in both votes. I did think the juries would like it, but I didn’t see this as a top five song, and I especially didn’t see it doing so well in the televote. This was definitely one of the best vocals of the final, hands down, and the song itself is gorgeous, yet I still underestimated it.....This is probably because I was comparing Marco’s result in 2013 with a similar ballad, and was like “this is of the same quality as that, so it’ll probably do about as well”. I....I have to stop underestimating Italy. They clearly know what they’re doing. Their streak of top five finishes does indeed continue....Do I agree with this result? Hmmmm.....um, not sure. I think I do. Like I said, one of the best vocals in the final. Definitely the best male vocal.

And Norway round out the top five! This was one of my favorite songs, and the favorite of so many other people to. I think that this is one result this year that literally no one will have a problem with. Even on Twitter, I have seen NO hate for this song. Everyone loves it. It’s the perfect example of a great, solid entry that doesn’t take huge risks or anything, but instead aims to just be a good dang song, and it succeeded at that. Everything about this song works and comes together perfectly. A top five finish feels so RIGHT for this cuz it just does its job so flipping well. Do I wish they did better with the juries? Of course, but I wasn’t worried about them for a second. I knew this would be in the top three in the televote. Again, everyone loves this song, or at least, no one dislikes it.

Ukraine came sixth. I did originally call them finishing in the top five, but Italy doing much better than I expected pushed them down. XD I was actually really impressed with their staging! I thought it was really creative, and probably one of the best of the final. And no, I’m not saying this cuz it was one of the few that didn’t use nothing but red. XD I thought the screens were cool, and there was always something interesting to look at. The song’s still not one of the best, but I saw their 100+ televote score coming, so I didn’t mind it. They didn’t do nearly as well as last year, that’s the important part. Don’t wanna open that can of worms again....

I’m really happy Belgium finished in the top ten! I thought that was definitely a top ten-worthy performance! It was cool to see them get multiple 12s from the juries, too! I expected their televote score to be, ehhhh, a BIT higher? Cuz it really felt like the arena really got into the song, so I thought people at home would too. But I cannot complain with this result, cuz it’s still Belgium’s best in a few years. The song’s fun and was performed well. And I gotta remember that Sweden, Finland, Norway, Italy, and Israel stole a looooooot of the televotes this time around, so songs like this probably suffered from it.

If you ask me, probably the one song I underestimated the most was Estonia’s. This was the only song I was indifferent to. I liked the vocals and the lyrics, but thought it was too boring music-wise to keep my attention. And that opinion does stay true, but I can see why others would like it. I can especially see why Estonia did so well with the juries. This is the kinda song the juries eat up every year. Even with 100% televoting in the semifinal, at least one of these songs still got through, heh....But I can’t say I’m surprised. They did well in the semi, but in the final, they were stuck between Italy and Finland. Their televote score surely suffered from that.

Coming in ninth are my semifinal-winning, best-of-the-worst kings, Australia! Look, I’m not even gonna front, I adored Finland, but my actual favorite song was this one. I ADORE this song and I’ve been quoting it constantly all week. It’s just such a perfect song to me with how it captures an emotion I feel all the time, and to have a song I can listen to when I’m in that mood is SO nice. I’m gonna be listening to this song many times in the future whenever I wanna be told everything’s gonna be alright, while also in the mood to shout at the top of my lungs at same time.....Not every comfort song has to be happy and cheerful, or soft and sweet, right? It’s perfect. And I literally cannot complain with their result either. Do I wish they got more televotes after that kinda performance? Yes. 21 points is way way waaaaaaayyyy too low. (And yet it’s Australia’s best televote since 2019, so blegh) The only real justification I can come up was that Finland took votes from them, or Belgium took votes from them (Belgium performed right after them) But at the same time....they broke even, like I said before. I expected a higher televote score, but I also expected a WORSE jury score, by like, a LOT.....but the juries had them so firmly in the top ten that they stayed there after the poor televote score! That’s nothing to complain about, not to mention that this is the best result a number one favorite of mine has gotten since.....really? 2016? Gosh, my luck with favorite songs hasn’t been the best since my lightning-in-a-bottle year....So yeah, ninth! Solid ninth! Considering Australia’s luck AND my luck, that’s awesome!

I read that this might’ve been Australia’s last Eurovision. Took long enough, honestly.....but, y’know? They finished well. Part of me still thinks they overstayed their welcome, but this song made it worth it. I also think it’s kinda funny that, if this ends up being true......then, the only Australian entries that’ve been in my top five were their first one and their last one. Pure poetry, huh? XD

Rounding out the top ten is Czechia, one of their best results! Another country who didn’t do super well in the televote, and for good reason - they were stuck between Finland and Australia. It was EASY for them to get overshadowed (and yet, I think they still got more points than Australia? I think?) Still, tenth place for a normally underdog country is solid, and I think they deserve it.

Right outside the top ten is Lithuania, who also did better than I expected with the juries, but the televote....Look, songs that qualified from the second semi, even that semi’s winner, didn’t do well in the televote in the final (Estonia were carried so high by the juries). The two semifinals were SO lopsided this year, to the point where it was a slight problem. NONE of the songs from the second had any winning power when put up against the ones from the first, and I’m pretty sure everyone knew this. The only possible exceptions were Australia (who I already talked about) and Austria (who I’ll get to soon). I really hope that next year, this isn’t that bad of a problem, cuz seriously, having ALL the hard-hitters in one semi makes that one semi overly stressful and the other feels like it has barely anything going on, or it gets your hopes up for some songs doing better than they end up in the final once they have stronger competition. Lithuania did well with this, eleventh is a great result, better than I expected, and her vocals were great which was definitely the reason, but the same can’t be said for the other second semi songs (except Estonia and Australia cuz, again, juries).

Another song I majorly underestimated was Cyprus. While I don’t agree with them doing better than Austria, I will freely admit that they made me eat my words. Before the contest, I wrote them off as a non-qualifier, cuz, and I quote “It’s not catchy enough, or emotional enough, or punchy enough. It’s just....there, and I say that as someone who likes it” (I’ve always liked the song, but cuz of slight bias reasons). Come the live performance, I was VERY impressed. It was staged well, and he sounded great. I couldn’t complain with being proven wrong. I do think they deserved to be in the final. I don’t think they quite deserve twelfth in the final, but it’s still a song I like. It’s not their fault, it’s just that I believe multiple songs below them should’ve done better. XD

Then we have Croatia at the bottom of the left half, and aside from the top two being the top two, this was easily the most predictable result of the final. I called it a MILE away. Of COURSE this would rank toward the bottom with the juries, and of COURSE they’d be saved by a 100+ televote score. Especially since they performed second-to-last. Have you heard this song!? The result writes itself! This isn’t so much of a song as it is...an experience. And it wasn’t an experience the music professionals wanted anything to do with, but for the audience? I could hear them singing along. There was no way this was gonna do any worse.

Now we move to the right side of the board, which is where the problem results are for me.....Armenia’s fine. It’s whatever. I know a lot of people loved them, and their staging was really good, but for me, there were plenty of better songs than this one. They were still good, but this was still about as well as I thought they’d place in the final.

No, the problem results for me start with Austria and France. What the heck- O-OK, I don’t really have THAT many complaints with the top ten we got, but that doesn’t change the fact that I really believe these two should’ve been up there. And yes, they still scored more than a hundred points each, so they weren’t flops. But come ON! What happened!? These were fan-favorite songs! Consistently both in the top ten in the betting odds, too! And both of them had great performances!

With Austria....you CANNOT convince me that they were penalized THAT HARD just by opening the show. Songs that’ve performed first can still do well in the televote and score highly! Ukraine 2014, Belgium 2016! This song should’ve done as well as those! It had it in the bag! Everyone I know loves this song! So.....what happened? I can think of two things: one is that the staging didn’t make them stand out well enough (I do agree that their staging should’ve been better), and the other is that the people who would normally vote for them voted for Croatia instead, who was fresher in their memory. But still, even if those things happened, it’s not much of an excuse!

But at the very least, Austria did get one set of 12 points from a jury. We got to see them celebrate that. France didn’t even get that much. Again, this wasn’t a flop like last year, so I guess my prediction of “justice will be served” was....true? But more like “justice will be technically served”.....Still disappointing for such a good song that was seen as a darkhorse for so long. And I can’t even think of a reason for this one other than just “it’s France”! Being performed so early is not an excuse when SWEDEN also performed early, and the staging was pretty, and the live voice was great....My brain hurts trying to think of what happened.....Maybe I can just chalk it up to “there were just songs people liked more”, but that still doesn’t excuse that the juries also mostly overlooked them, so.....I-I’ll just move on....

After those two is Spain.......Look, I don’t like their song. I’ve never liked their song. But I still respect it, and I respect Spain for taking a risk with it this year. And I was still surprised by this. Coming last in the televote.....Even if it was my least-favorite song, I still respect it enough to kinda think it was unfair? I mean, it was unique, and the live performance sounded just like the studio version! Shouldn’t it have...stood out more? Then again, maybe it stood out in a bad way.....I-I didn’t expect that many people to be on the same page as me....I thought this was an unpopular opinion.....but no! How should I feel about this.....? I dunno....I guess I’m happy I don’t look like an uncultured idiot for not liking the song? But I’m also kinda stunned....? I-I’m not used to feeling these kinda....mixed emotions....

After THAT are the last of my top five favorites, Moldova and Poland in 18th and 19th, doing worse and better than I expected respectfully. I thought Moldova would be in the top 15, but this wasn’t that far off, and their televote score was respectful (I think it was over 60), so I can’t complain. I’m glad there are people who loved their beautiful song as much as I did. And while Poland tanked with the juries like I called, getting over 80 points in the televote blew my mind! I remember when I was told how HATED their song was....I believed it. I believed it, cuz of the stories I heard, and how it really is just a catchy, mindless song that doesn’t make you think too hard. That’s why I love it, but that could also be why others hated it.....but now.....geez! You played them dirty, but now who’s laughing? Sure, 19th is 19th still, but for a song I was surprised even qualified for the final? Again, no complaints! Poland really went all out with their staging, too, so I could tell how much effort was put in to make people like this song. And surprisingly, they succeeded.

Switzerland....I find that I can only slightly enjoy their entry when I’m trying not to pay attention to the lyrics and just focus on his great voice, but it’s hard, especially when part of the staging resembles.....y’know what...raining down....I still don’t like this one at all, but the staging is disgustingly good, and his voice is great, so I actually did expect it to do better. I predicted this’d be in the top ten with the juries, actually. But again, like with Spain, more people were on the same page with me than I expected. Good. Stay down there. Send something fun next year, or if you’re gonna send a singer that good again, give them a song that doesn’t leave the listener feeling depressed. I couldn’t be happier that this was performed third. Got it outta the way. XD

Slovenia, I expected better from, since they were so late and also sounded good live. Can’t think of what happened to them other than they just got overshadowed, perhaps due to going right after Israel. Still, the people who loved Slovenia, REALLY loved Slovenia.....I guess they were just fewer in number than I thought. Albania and Portugal did about as well as I expected, so not much to say about them.

Serbia, tho....I do feel bad for them, but I also get it. After learning that they were only three points away from not qualifying for the final, I’m just happy to have them there at all. I really do like the song, it was in my top ten, but let’s be real, it was always a guilty-pleasure type song. It’s.....OUT THERE, and not everyone’s thing. The whispery vocals were hard to hear in places live, too. I didn’t mind since the vocals aren’t my fav part of the song (I love the instrumentals), but that might’ve cost them a bit. They’re LUCKY. If the semifinals still had a jury vote, they definitely wouldn’t have qualified and we would’ve had Latvia instead (whether that’s an improvement is up to you).

Every few years, there’s an entry where the song isn’t the best, but the live performance is a spectacle, having creative and fun staging, and/or the artist having a great stage presence, and when that entry doesn’t qualify, fans online fly into a rage, crying out “Why didn’t they qualify? They were so fun! They know what Eurovision spirit is!” and maybe pin the blame on a ballad that got in over them. Off the top of my head, there’s “Igranka”, “Space”, and last year had two of these in “Eat Your Salad” and “Stripper”. “Samo mi se spava” was SO CLOSE to being one of these. It just BARELY made it to the final, getting the respect it deserved. If it had lost to Latvia, the fan outrage would’ve been massive. And I’m so happy for that, cuz I really do like this song (and its staging) a lot. I really hope Serbia keep sending out there and experimental stuff. Their entries have been so interesting the last couple years.

And finally, at the bottom of the board once again, are the UK and Germany. These are the other two songs I 100% believed deserved better, especially Germany’s. The UK’s song was a lot of fun and had cute staging (that WASN’T RED), but I can.....kiiiiiinda see how it’d be overshadowed? Germany, not so much. That song should NOT have been overshadowed. If that kinda music isn’t everyone’s thing, that’s fine, but that can’t be the whole story, right? Rock music has done well in recent years....I know rock and metal aren’t the same, but there’s overlap! What happened? They performed toward the end, and they sounded great! The audience really got into it too! I guess that’s the kinda song that probably goes over better in the arena than at home, since, like I said before, it’s the kinda song that was MEANT to boom throughout an arena, filling every corner.....At the very least, Germany actually got points from BOTH votes this time, but still, I feel awful for them. I REALLY want them to do well again. It’s been years. This should’ve been the song to break their streak, and people just weren’t feeling it for whatever reason. =/

And......I can’t believe I’m saying this, but.....that’s it for this Eu-red-vision! Overall, good results, with only four songs I think were either slightly (Austria, France) or majorly (Germany, UK) robbed, but up top, I have little to no complaints! I’m happy for both Sweden and Finland, and MAN I can’t wait for next year. Sweden KNOW how to host Eurovision. There were a lot of different factors that added up to 2016 being my favorite contest (I can’t list them all right now), and their production was one of them. “Love Love Peace Peace” part two, anyone? XD Also super excited for the return of Luxembourg! I never watched any contest they participated in (they dropped out before 1997), so this’ll be a first! I hope they send a good song, or else that’ll be a major anticlimax....if they DO send a good song, their return will definitely be a highlight of the year. We’ll see how it goes!

(Also, one final note: I’ve been watching......SOOOOO many reaction videos on YouTube over the week, and it got me a bit motivated to.....maybe....KEYWORD: MAYBE.....t-try to.....record some audio next year? Like....instead of my normal text rambling for my rankings, I could try that? Again, I DUNNO if it’ll happen....it’s too early....but I’m kinda in the mood to try it right now, so maybe....? O-one of my new year’s resolutions this year was to be nicer to myself, and one of the things I’ve always hated is my voice, so I’ve posted videos on Instagram with my voice in them to start....maybe I can try working my way up to something more elaborate....? I-it really depends on how I’m feeling next year tho, and how reception is, so maybe I’ll try some small things first)

See you next year! Cross my heart till the sky turns red in the sunrise!!

Promise me it’s gonna be alright! (BE - AL - RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT) ALRIGHT!!!

And a final “thank you” if you were one of the people who contributed to Malta’s three points in the first semifinal. You were doing god’s work. XD

[starlassowhump]

PART ONE.

cw: threats, monarchy and authoritarianism, unhealthy power dynamics

Maverick, the syreni pirate captain, stood at the helm of his ship, navigating the seas with ease. The wind tousled his hair, a concern for his carefully styled locks, but he brushed it off. Being a pirate was no easy feat, but maintaining his dashing, super-sexy appearance was an added challenge. The scorching sun beat down on his face, and he could feel his fins craving the cool embrace of water.

As he looked out towards the docks in the distance, Maverick's thoughts were filled with concern for his crew. Most of them were humans or featherfolk, unable to survive in the water like he could. He would’ve hopped into the ocean right then and there, but he couldn't bear the thought of them going hungry or thirsty while he swam to the docks alone. After all, he was their captain, responsible for their well-being.

And, where his crew were more suited for the land or the sky, Mav was suited for the sea. 'Cause Maverick... was a goldfish. Or, well, his species was a goldfish. He was a syreni, with big ol’ fins on the sides of his face, gills on his neck, scales scattered about his body like freckles, and a small fish tail, connected to his backside, which was currently still at his back.

His thoughts were cut off by the voice of one of his crewmates.

“Captain! We’re getting close to shore.”

He sighed, adjusted his coat, and looked over at said crewmate.

"Alright, prepare the anchor. We can't risk crashing into the docks. Ensure that all the lines and fenders are in position, and secure any loose items. Tell everyone to stow their valuables in their chests. Shit’s been breaking since DAY ONE, and I don't understand why none of you have learned from it at this point." Maverick grumbled, frustration evident in his voice. He waved the crewmate away, dismissing them to carry out the necessary tasks.

As his crew scurried about, Maverick sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his thoughts consumed by the challenges of docking. It was a task he despised, as it required meticulous planning and careful execution to ensure the safety of his ship and crew. But he knew it was a necessary evil to keep his crew fed and hydrated.

But, God. He hated docking.

Finally, finally, his crew had docked the ship. He had stuffed his pockets with gold, pulled a scarf over his face so that he wouldn’t be recognized from the wanted posters, and started out on a mission to find some supplies.

The town, whatever it’s name was, was big. The streets were bustling with activity, vendors, propaganda posters-

Wait, huh?

Maverick stopped in his tracks, and looked up at one of the propaganda posters. On it was an image of a rainbowfish syreni, with a crown on their head. In bright, bold letters, the poster read -

OBEY THE LAW, FOLLOW THEIR BRILLIANCE!

Maverick scoffed. God, how brainwashed were these people? He rolled his eyes, smiling softly, chuckling to himself as he continued on.

But, it seemed that on every wall, every building, every little store, was another poster.

ORDER AND COLOR FOR A GLORIOUS FUTURE!

EMBRACE THE RAINBOW OF LAWS, AND PROSPER!

ENLIST TODAY, JOIN THEIR BRILLIANCE IN DEFENDING OUR WATERS!

Maverick’s chuckling smile quickly turned into a grimace. Cool, yeah, this was weird as hell. He wasn’t dealing with this, not today. He could just get supplies from another town, he wasn’t going to stay in this freak-show, monarchy-worshipping hellhole for any longer.

He backed up, ready to leave, until he felt himself run into something. A wall? He didn’t think there was a wall there-

Nevermind. That was a fully grown man. In armor.

Maverick stumbled back, startled by the sudden collision with the armored man. He looked up to see a stern-faced knight, adorned in gleaming armor, staring down at him with a piercing gaze.

And, the man was huge. Like someone had stuffed a gorilla into a knight's outfit. The knight's helmet had a rainbow-colored plume, and his armor bore the crest of the monarchy that was heavily promoted in the propaganda posters.

"Watch where you're going." the knight grumbled. Their tone wasn't... mean, exactly, just intimidating. Calm, in a professional, disciplined sort of manner.

Maverick bristled, but held his tongue, knowing that causing a scene would only attract unwanted attention. He quickly regained his composure and tried to sidestep the knight, but the knight blocked his path, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Not so fast," the knight said, their voice booming from behind his helmet. "I haven't seen you around here before. State your business in our town."

Maverick hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to proceed. He didn't want to reveal his true identity as a pirate captain on the run from the law, but he also didn't want to lie and risk further scrutiny. He decided to tread carefully.

"I'm just passing through," Maverick said, keeping his tone neutral. "I need to restock my supplies and then I'll be on my way."

"...People don't usually pass through Ueneku." The knight grumbled, and Mav felt a shiver go down his spine.

Am I gonna have to beat up this guy? Are we gonna have to fight? Because I would lose so fast. Maverick thought, looking up at the knight. Please, god, don't make them fight me.

"Take off that mask. Strangers here aren't nessicarily trusted, and you'd do us all a favor by showing who you are."

Maverick hesitated for a moment, but then slowly pulled the scarf down.

The knight stiffened. Obviously, they had seen Mav's face from the wanted posters.

"Captain Maverick. You're comin' with me."

[muertawrites]

D, W, X, Y, Z for sfw and nsfw?

SFW:

d i have already answered!

Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

No. Eddie has a very good sense of himself and he's comfortable with who he is.

Does that mean he doesn't love you in a way that's totally earth-shattering? Not at all. When he met you, he swears he heard "I Just Died in Your Arms" and everything went slow mo for a minute and he forgot his own name. And yes, if you were gone, a very important part of his life would be missing, and it would be hard to move on from and adjust to.

But feeling like he as a person isn't whole without you? No. That's an extremely unhealthy way to think. He doesn't want you to feel like you aren't whole without him, either.

Xtra (A random headcanon for them)

God, I feel like there aren't many headcanons for him that I haven't already spat out on this blog at random? I guess the only one I really have is that I doubt he'd ever drink any kind of caffeine. No coffee, no energy drinks, not even tea. He's hyperactive enough as it is - caffeine just makes him feel out of control.

That and I also doubt he'd ever dabble in hard drugs. Based on his family background, it makes sense that he might have had a friend or relative or two struggle with addiction to heavy substances and knows how hard it is to live with. I truly think he uses pot and alcohol as a means of coping but is ultimately responsible about his consumption. He really doesn't want to live up to the Munson name as well as people think he will.

Totally owns a D.A.R.E. t-shirt. For the jokes.

Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Well y'all already know how I feel about Eddie and basic bitches. He hates them. Any person who doesn't have much personality, or is ashamed of him, or uses him for some ulterior motive, or thinks he's just some big scary dude like everyone else does is a total turnoff for him. He likes people who can form their own opinions and are perfectly comfortable and happy being themselves, no matter what other people may think about it.

Hates wearing shorts, even in summer. Idk why. I just get that from him.

On this subject I also feel like he doesn't hate pop music or other genres of rock as much as he acts like he does. He's just too proud to admit that he listens to Lovesong by The Cure alone in his room at night on a regular basis. (I feel like he'd vibe with The Cure)

Modern headcanon is that he really likes Blink-182. All The Small Things is lowkey your song.

Zzz (What are some sleep habits of theirs?)

Sleeps in his boxers.

Doesn't brush his teeth before bed - doesn't see the point.

Definitely snores. Not excessively, but enough to be adorable or annoying, depending on how you feel.

Can fall asleep anywhere. Also sleeps in super weird positions. Moves around a lot.

Blanket hog.

[nsfw below the cut]

NSFW:

Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

How long do you have?

Man's a perv, ok. We love him, but he's so horny.

Biggest one is that he doesn't just steal your panties as trophies, but he uses them. He loves to masturbate with one pair wrapped around his fist, the other stuffed into his face so he can smell the traces of you in the fabric. He does return them. And washes them before because god he doesn't want you to know how much of a creep he is for getting high off the smell of your pussy and cumming into your used panties.

Not dirty but definitely not common for the time and his circles, but Eddie actually doesn't like the idea of casual sex? It weirds him out. He's not very trusting as it is, and it's hard to do as much exploring as he likes to do with someone you don't trust. And trust takes emotions. So he'd rather have sex with a partner, because it's way more fun cumming with someone who you still want to hang with afterward.

Makes heart eyes at Steve whenever they're together. Thinks about having a three way with you and him often. That's not a secret but you let him think it is.

Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He laughs after he cums. I was talking about this with @the-ivory-rabbit last night and we both agree that he totally gets giggly after an orgasm. Also says "heck" during sex.

Either that or he cries. Like he's holding you in his arms after you've fucked each other senseless and is so overcome by how much he loves and adores you and the fact that you feel that way for him that he just. Weeps. Tells you you're beautiful. Begs you never to leave him. Kind of a wreck but it's sweet.

X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Eddie's cock is as pretty as he is. I've already mentioned that he's got a porn star cock in both a fic and a request, and I stand by that. He's uncircumcised. Doesn't manscape. I would give a part of my soul to watch this man masturbate.

Beyond his gorgeous pubic zone, his body is average but in a way that's amazing. He's not ripped, and he's got a little bit of baby fat, but his shoulders are broad and his chest is defined and he's got those cute back dimples above his butt.

Speaking of which, his butt is a bit on the flat side. But it's nice enough and good for grabbing while he rails you, so no complaints. Even Eddie can't be perfect.

Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Proper care of your Eddie insists that sex be performed daily to ensure he doesn't become too full of the natural perv hormones in his system and subsequently burst with a little "pop!" into a cloud of glitter. When traditional sex is not possible, oral or hand-operated maintenance will suffice.

Your Eddie is capable of releasing his perv hormones on his own, so glitter explosions are unlikely. However, to ensure the utmost happiness for your Eddie, it is recommended that sex be performed together as often as possible.

(High. His sex drive is high.)

Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He doesn't. Eddie does not get tired from sex. He'll fuck you silly then go work a full shift at Thacher Tire before coming home and fucking you again. Maybe once more before bed if he can swing it.

Dude's a fucking rabbit.