#I’ll attempt to imp it

[awkward-parabuteo]

No snow yet, despite the air starting to get nippy. We're still going though!

[aceyogurt]

heyyy! Can I request an Angel Dust x human!reader imagine where human!reader somehow got stuck in hell and is trying to adjust to their new “situation” but Angel Dust makes it his #1 mission to tease and mess with them so much, especially over their little “human-like” tendencies😂. Like reader will just be minding their own business and subconsciously bite their lip or something and Angel’s just like “baby, keep biting that lip and I’ll bite it off for ya”😏 and reader is just like lowkey done with his shit but also 😳 and secretly adores it. Angel, on the other hand, won’t stop because he finds them and their reactions adorable and loves getting their attention no matter what. Sorry this request is kinda long! Thank you!!💕💕

OOOOO I LOVE THIS IDEA YESS 100% I WANT TO WRITE A SCENE LIKE THIS AHHHHH

Pairing: Angel dust x Reader

Content: mostly fluff with mentions of slightly sexual content!

You had made your way down to hell by some freak accident, caught in the midst of a murder in the human realm due to some imps and their nature of work…

You weren’t exactly sure what to do when you made your way into hell- well you wanted to get out of it but yah know. That’s then when you hear on a nearby TV an ad playing. Something about a hotel and redeeming sinners?

Sure you're not technically a sinner but, it seemed much safer than staying out in the streets of well, hell.

When you got to the hotel you settled in fairly quickly and were happily welcomed by the hotel owner; Charlie after hearing about your situation. Was this the kind of place you expected to end up in? No, was it the worst thing that could've happened to you though… also no. All was mostly well, mostly.

There was one particular resident of the hotel that seemed you just would be unable to get along with, Angel Dust. When he first heard your story about being sent down here still human, he laughed. Not necessarily at you but, he found such a thing to happen in the first place to be hilarious.

It seemed from that point on that he was on a mission to tease you any chance he got. Especially with the fact you were a human. The worst part about it was how quickly it'd get sexual too. But you'd be lying if it wasn't entertaining to chat with him.

“Yah’ know toots if you keep pouting like that your gonna make me wanna tease yah more” you hadn’t even realized you were- whatever usually you would yell at Angel and or roll your eyes at him but, hey maybe playing his game wouldn’t hurt.

So you shoot a response still pouting mustering up your best seductive tone, “Maybe I don’t want you to stop… or maybe you should make me stop.” You try to hold back your creeping smile. Now Angel was used to people flirting and teasing back with him but, you? He didn’t know how to react.

Seeing you attempt to play his game though made him have the sweetest of smiles. He laughed as he snapped right back at you, “getting bold now are yah’? Who knows maybe I will.” He shrugged leaning in a bit too close for comfort waiting to see your reaction.

Your face reddened a bit as you try to responde back but, l fail with coming up with anything. You sigh playfully pushing Angel back as you get up. “How about no-“ you say wanting to completely forget what you had just done.

As you had walked away Angel had the giddiest grin on his face over the fact you had gotten so worked up over such a small interaction. (Once again) sure, he was upset it was over but he’d make sure there was a next time.

[writeyouin]

Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) X Male-Reader - Sinless Sinners - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Hell's Assumptions

A/N – Okay, I think that’s everyone on the tagging list. So, here’s to Chapter 4. Raise a glass.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

FEMALE VERSION HERE

GN VERSION HERE

TAG LIST: @lxkeeeee @moonieper

People were staring.

The worst part was, you weren’t sure who they were staring at, you or Lucifer. It could have easily been him since he was the King of Hell, and even those who didn’t immediately recognise him could sense the power he exuded. However, it was just as likely that they were looking at you and wondering who you were, and how you had managed to get their ruler to walk with you, especially since he wasn’t known for going out much.

Fortunately, when people saw Lucifer coming, they moved to the other side of the street, staring, whispering, taking pictures, but keeping a safe distance.

Lucifer was used to this kind of thing. He walked confidently, held a charming smile, and was generally non-plussed by the attention. You, on the other hand, felt awkward.

‘This was my idea,’ You mentally reminded yourself.

You tried to hold onto that thought as you attempted to strike up a conversation.

“So… What’s it like in the Embassy building?” You asked, quickly realising that it was a terrible topic as Lucifer’s smile became a glower.

You shouldn’t have reminded him where he was going. It was obvious he hated Heaven for their treatment of him, yet yearned for it and the life he had lost within its pearly gates where nothing went wrong for anyone.

“Sorry,” You said hurriedly. “I didn’t think- uh, nice weather we’re having?”

Lucifer smiled and shook his head. He couldn’t believe you. Only the night before, you had told him to grow up, with such confidence, and now here you were struggling for words. He bypassed the awkward situation with ease by asking, “Will you be visiting the Hotel today?”

“Oh, uh… Maybe. I would like to see everyone again. Check that Nifty hasn’t set anything on fire. Make sure that everything’s okay, and-”

You had been about to mention Angel Dust. Today was one of his work days. You would like to check that he was okay. You didn’t mention him however, with something like a confidentiality clause stopping you, though you weren’t his doctor, nor was he your patient. You didn’t want to talk about his suffering; he was more than his trauma.

Instead, you said, “I would like to check in, but maybe not today. Besides, you’ll be there tonight, won’t you?”

“Yes. I’d like to deliver the news to Charlie personally, and perhaps coach her on some of Heaven’s stricter rules.”

“Then, I think I’ll stay at the manor. I wouldn’t want to step on your toes. You and Charlie- I think you need to catch up a bit, without any interruptions. She missed you, you know.”

Lucifer ruminated on this for a minute. Whatever your motivations, he was glad that you were giving him and his daughter some space. Granted, the Hotel was large enough to house many conversations in separate areas but by making the offer of keeping your distance, you were giving Lucifer some breathing room; that was good.

Had you not made that offer, Lucifer might have brought up the topic of moving you back into the Hotel to Charlie, but in respecting his boundaries, Lucifer was starting to think that you weren’t so bad… for a Sinner.

“I missed her too.”

“Can I ask,” You said hesitantly, “What kept you away so long? You clearly think the world of her.”

Lucifer sighed, and stopped in the middle of the street, “I-”

He didn’t get to explain his absence.

Instead, he became annoyed as two Sinners, one who looked like a nine-year-old boy’s dream with bazooka arms and rocket-infused shoulders, and the other a winged bear-woman wielding a machine gun burst through the building on the opposite side of the road, waging war upon one another.

“SHIT!” You cursed, seeing the debris that threatened to crush a lone imp who hadn’t reacted quickly enough, his leg trapped under the first brick segment that fell.

Reacting quickly, you threw out your arms. A light green barrier shielded the imp from further harm, but you struggled under the weight of so much wreckage.

“MOXXIE!” A female imp yelled, running to him.

You thought she might struggle to lift the wreckage off him and were about to ask for Lucifer’s help before your barrier would inevitably crumble. Yet, the female imp was stronger than she appeared and she threw it off Moxxie. She then lifted him bridal style, and ran from the danger, shooting you a grateful look from across the street.

You gasped and shuddered as you let your arms fall, your barrier fading from existence.

“You shouldn’t have bothered,” Lucifer said as you straightened up.

“What?” You breathed heavily, recovering from the exertion; one of the weakest Demons in Hell, with your limited abilities.

“It was a nice thing to do, but what’s the point? Look around,” Lucifer threw his arms up dramatically. “Someone built something nice, and now it’s gone, all because two Sinners couldn’t take their petty power struggle somewhere else. Nobody benefits from this.”

You opened your mouth to argue but were interrupted by the same two imps you had just saved, “Hey there, I’m pretty sure my husband is delirious right now, but he wanted to come over here.”

“I’m not delirious, Millie,” Moxxie said pointedly, clinging onto her shoulder to support his weight; his leg was in all likeliness broken, but being an imp of Hell, it would heal quickly enough.

Millie looked at him sympathetically, likely thinking something along the lines of, ‘Baby, we’re the only ones on the same side of the street as His Majesty, but do what you gotta do!’

“I must thank you most humbly for your remarkable rescue in my name, good fellow,” Moxxie exclaimed pompously, probably presuming that since you were accompanied by Lucifer you were of a much higher station than you were. “Without you, I would certainly have perished, so I find it an appropriate time to extend my gratitude.”

“He means thank you,” Millie affectionately translated.

“You’re welcome,” You smiled. Then, with a small flourish of your fingers, Moxxie leg was bandaged and he was provided with a crutch to hold onto. You were no healer, but that would help the bone set correctly.

Moxxie and Millie thanked you both again, presuming that Lucifer had been part of the rescue (and in a way he was, for when the warring Demons saw him, they took their battle elsewhere), then they were gone, one limping down the street on his new crutch, and his wife offering to carry him.

“You’re wrong,” You said, once the pair were out of sight. “They benefitted.”

Lucifer didn’t know what to say about that. They were only imps. Why did you think they mattered? Yet, after watching the loving couple thank you for their rescue, Lucifer wasn’t certain that he trusted his assessment of the situation. Charlie wanted to redeem Sinners, you had just saved the lowest of all Hell’s beings and he…? He needed to reassess how he thought about things.

The two of you didn’t speak after that and Lucifer assumed that you were mad at him until you reached Heaven’s Embassy. Lucifer stared at the building, broken and hopeless, thinking about how he would have to fight for Charlie.

He was about to take the first step towards it when you rested your hand on his shoulder.

He stared at you, surprised.

“Good luck,” You proffered sympathetically. Then you walked away, and Lucifer was left staring after you. So, you weren’t mad at him after all. What a curious person you were.

He looked back to the building before him, the one place in Hell that was perfectly pristine, and unable to be harmed by anyone. After a deep breath, he headed inside.

When Lucifer returned home, he was exhausted. The meeting had been lengthy and derogatory. He had been treated with barely disguised disdain and talked in circles, but finally, Heaven had agreed to allow his daughter passage to Heaven.

It was never an option really. As the ruler of a powerful realm, Lucifer had to be treated respectfully, even if all of Heaven hated him. Yet, just because they had to acquiesce to his request didn’t mean they hadn’t tried to talk him out of it. The only good news was that it had been Sera and a few of her assistants who hosted the meeting, not that ignorant prick Adam; Lucifer hated that guy… though his taste in women had always been spectacular.

Still, it had all been worth it when he got to the hotel and Charlie thanked him and invited him to stay for a while. They had caught up over tea, and he had gotten to know a little bit more about her and her relationship with Vaggie. Lucifer likely would have stayed longer seeing as he’d also been invited to games night, but then that red-headed bastard was there, grinning like a Cheshire Cat, and Lucifer had made his reasons to leave.

Now, all he wanted was to recover in peace.

On his way upstairs, he heard the long-neglected TV blaring in one of the living rooms. Feeling somewhat guilty about his unsupportive attitude towards you earlier, he decided it would probably be good for him to make amends and apologise. So, before isolating himself for the evening, he sought you out.  

You were hunched on the sofa, watching 666 News, and grimacing at the new headline, King of Hell’s New Fuckbuddy.

Lucifer stood quietly behind you, watching as Katie Killjoy reported, “While Hell will be royally fucked by the impending extermination it seems that King of Hell Lucifer is being royally fucked by his new bimbo bitch, seen walking with him today on the streets of Pentagram City.”

Security camera footage of you and Lucifer from earlier filled the screen for a minute before returning to the hosts.

“Who is this Sinner? Does Lucifer get off on Angelic clothing? We hope to find out more soon. Over to you, Tom.”

Tom Trench continued the report, much less assuredly than his co-anchor, “Nobody can say for certain they’re together. Some speculate the Demon to be his highness’ new assistant or-”

Katie clutched Tom’s neck in one hand, never looking away from the camera as she cut off his air supply, “Nobody gives a shit about your limp-dick opinion Tom. We’re all here to speculate about who’s raw-dogging who. Now, onto our cooking segment, It’s Dahm Good, with host Jeffrey who is making a delicious spleen soufflé. Jeffrey-”

“HA!” Lucifer laughed, pointing at the TV.

“Shit!” You yelped, lurching forward, having not known he’d returned home. You turned the TV off and stood to face Lucifer.

He was doubled over and wheezing at the idea that you and he would ever be together.

“Well, at least you’re not upset about this,” You grinned, finding his good mood contagious.

“What morons. They’re always just there, assuming the weirdest shit whenever I go out,” He laughed.  

“Yeah? So, it’s okay people know we’re friends?”

Lucifer straightened up with a smile. So, you classed him as a friend? He didn’t confirm or deny your assumption of friendship. He waved his hand, unbothered, “Let them think what they want to think. It’s Hell, nothing matters. Besides, 666 News is trash.”

“Yeah, you’re right. So, how did the meeting with Heaven go? Did they agree to meet with Charlie?”

Lucifer sobered up slightly, though he didn’t seem as upset as he was earlier when Heaven was mentioned, “Yes. The meeting’s in a week. Charlie is- She’s optimistic.”

“And you?”

“I- My girl can handle it.”

“Yeah, she can.”

And so it was that you and Lucifer started to find some common ground, that slowly built the gap from two people who barely knew one another, towards friends.

[dark-and-kawaii]

The Truth

Haarlep x F!Tav

Summary: They were like oil and water, constantly bickering and mocking each other's every move, acting as if they hated one another.

Notes: Haarlep is written as a male in this one. This is about Lofn my Tav and Haarlep but I wanted everyone to enjoy it so I didn’t name her in it <3

*ੈ Enemies To Lovers | Bickering | Raphael Is Annoyed | Making Out

Sitting in his archive, Raphael looked up from the contact he was attempting to write out. He could hear his little mouse and incubus bicker yet again…

“Fine!” She shrugs her shoulders and turns her back to Haarlep.

"Fine," he muttered, nonchalantly raising his own shoulders and crossing his arms, "It's quite amusing you know, how you boast about your intelligence yet swiftly metamorph into an ignorant imp when confronted with the truth."

She rolled her eyes, her lips curling into a smirk, "It's adorable how you resort to petty insults, but I suppose it's easier to belittle others than to face your own shortcomings, isn't it?"

They were like oil and water, constantly bickering and mocking each other's every move, acting as if they hated one another.

She turns back to look at him slightly only to stick her tongue out at him before walking away. Haarlep can’t help but to tilt his head to the side to glance at her, she was really leaving!?

Just as she was about to leave, Raphael entered his boudoir, "Could you enlighten me as to the significance of this commotio-“

She swiftly took hold of Raphael’s arm, her arms entwining with his, “oh thank goodness you’re here,” she pointed at Haarlep, “Please remove this creature from my sights!”

Raphael’s nose scrunched at her words as he gazed at the incubus, “What did you do?” His voice was low, his hands meeting with hers as she clung to his arm.

“I? Bahaha” Haarlep’s tail flicked around restlessly.

Haarlep's wings unfurled slightly, a defensive posture that was more for show than a real threat. "I did nothing more than speak truths that delicate ears cannot handle," he retorted with a sardonic grin. His gaze was locked with hers, a silent challenge passing between them.

The little mouse huffed, her cheeks puffing out in indignation, "He was being insufferable, Raphael!”

Haarlep couldn't help but observe the tightening of her grip on Raphael's arm. The incubus wore a knowing smile, shaking his head in response to her acting, possessive behavior. It was clear to Haarlep that she was caught up in her own delusion, unable to face the truth they both knew. The truth that she harbored genuine feelings for him, a mere incubus, rather than the infamous devil known as Raphael. And it was this denial that had led them into this situation they found themselves in.

Haarlep cocked his head at her, “The truth is like a sharp blade, capable of cutting through illusions and revealing the raw reality beneath, aye little mouse?”

Releasing Raphael’s arm, her lip twitched, “Truth!? Ha!” Waving her arms up she stormed out of the room.

The two watched as she huffed and left the room, her heels clicking down the hall, echoing as she continued down the corridor.

"It seems as if my words struck a chord," Haarlep mused.

Raphael scowled, "I’ll deal with you later, and I implore you to maintain silence when around her. She’s a valuable asset that I require.” With that, he was gone.

As she stormed down the halls of Raphael’s domain, she huffed and spoke to herself, “admit it, he says!” She moved her hand to mimic talking, her voice twisted to mock Haarlep’s, “Why don’t we play a game and you give yourself to me, he says! Ha!” She rolled her eyes, turning the corner.

There in the hallway, the incubus was leaning against the wall. A sly smirk crossed his lips as she halted her stride. She scoffed and shook her head, moving to walk past him. Just when she was almost cleared of him, he grabbed hold of her waist and pressed her back against his chest before wrapping himself around her fully. His wings like a protective fortress, shielding her from the storms of life and providing a comforting embrace. She turned to glare up at him, her cheeks dusted with a pink hue .

He nuzzled his head into her hair, “Hmm, I think we both woke up on the wrong side of Raphael today-“

“I appreciate your apology, now let me go.” She wiggled in his hold.

“Bahaha, apology? Dear girl, I do not apologize.”

“Just stop talking, your voice is only going to upset me more,” she continued to wiggle about.

His tail wrapped around her wrist, bringing her hand up to his face, he pressed her palm into his cheek. Her breath hitched as his fingers caressed her own. He swore he could hear her heart quicken…

He leaned in, his chin resting on her shoulder, his voice low, husky, and teasing, "Oh my dear little dove, what is it you want?”

She could feel her body grow warm, the hairs on her neck and arm standing, “not you.” She murmured.

Haarlep couldn't contain his laughter, "Of course, how silly of me." His tone was laced with amusement, his body vibrating against hers as he held her close, "You can't deny me your feelings forever.” He closed his eyes, relaxing in her presence.

She turned her head, their faces inches apart, her eyes soft matching her voice, "and you can't always get what you want..."

The incubus smiled and opened his eyes, his hand cupping her chin, he leaned in closer, his lips brushing her own, "so it seems with you, but I can always try."

Her eyes were transfixed on his lips, her breath coming out in shallow pants, her voice but a whisper, "Haarlep..."

"That's my name..." his lips brushing hers as he spoke. His smile was devious as his lips pressed against her own, the taste of her was all too intoxicating… Haarlep knew she could feed him for days, fully satisfied.

She didn't fight it, she couldn't. The kiss she had been wishing for all this time was like a drug and she was hooked. Her eyes fluttered shut as she succumbed to him, her arms wrapping around his neck.

They kissed as if the world around them was falling apart. His lips were demanding, taking control, stealing her very soul; in a way that was more poetic than literal, he didn’t wish to see her fall by his hands.

He pressed her against the wall, his tongue exploring her mouth, intertwining with hers. Their breathing intertwined as his fingers weaved through her hair while she pulled at his. They groaned and gasped, her body pressing against his. He gently bit her lip before they parted, a thin strand of saliva linking their lips. With a chuckle, he licked his lips, observing her closely, and the flush of red on her cheeks elicited a contented purr from him. His tail gently stroked her hip and thigh.

She was so soft…

The urgency in his eyes softened to a tender warmth that acknowledged the depth of their connection. She stood there, breathless and vulnerable, yet enveloped in the profound realization that amidst her facade, she truly did find an oasis in Haarlep’s arms.

He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear with a gentleness that contrasted his previous urgency. His tail still caressing her sides.

"Play a game with me, little dove?"

[strikersexhaver]

Ok but what if striker has a s/o that is the seven deadly sins, gluttony who is curvy maybe both sfw and nsfw? 👀

Oooo- this is an interesting one! Aight bet, firstly though, I will say I’ll mostly base off the Beelzebub lore plus what we know for our reader! Like how most princesses/princes are tall, so Reader is much taller than any other demon they’re still curvy though.

As usual! NSFW under the read more cut!

spoiler warning though for the latest episode, Western Energy!

Striker’s Bee 🐝 | Beelzebub!Reader

Striker never expected to be where he is now, with one of the most powerful demons in Hell. Solely because his hatred towards uppercrust demons, like yourself.

But to him, you managed to prove to him that- there’s an exception to royals on rare occasion.

He still hates royals mostly, even with whatever you say.

But before that, Striker had met you traveling to the Gluttony ring for murderous affairs. Apparently one of his clients wanted a Hellhound dead, one of your home’s bodyguards.

You bore witness to the event on total accident, your first instinct was punish Striker as per usual with events like this.

But you were intrigued, you had heard of an event in the Richest Cup Café where an imp had attempted assassination on a Prince of the Ars Goetia.

Not being a member yourself, you had the freedom to investigate things drama-free.

Striker looked for a way to escape, but your powers prevented him from doing so. The bees of your glutinous hive prevented every nook and cranny escape.

Normally, Striker would fight until his last breathe- but he knew to hold off and wait for an opening instead. He’s may be cantankerous but he’s not idiotic.

He looked up at you, a tall curvy person who was the Prince/Princess/Majesty of Gluttony.

He only listened to you for the sake of getting out of there, until you offered to pay him for information on what’s going on. Because you do love hearing all about drama, who doesn’t? You needed your honey tea after all.

It lead from talking about what happened between Stolas and Stella, to a more normal conversation that lasted longer than you two realized.

You helped him get back to Wrath via conjuring a portal, then waved him off.

You treated him like a person, on equal grounds and didn’t belittle him- it was, strange. Albeit, he’d assume it would be for the sake of business as you did pay him for information.

Which as per usual led to conversations, meaning you two talked and communicated. You’d tried your best to make him feel- equal.

Because he despises being treated as lesser, or like a pet obviously. So don’t pick him up, or belittle him, using names you’d give to a dog he will pitch a fit.

He found himself actually liking you, and usually saying you’re not one of the other royal trash there is.

He’s love language towards you is acts or service, as he internally is ashamed he’s dating a royal. Because of how boastful he was about hating royals.

He probably wants it to be on the DL, not public and that’s good for you.

It’d be a lie to say he didn’t find you attractive, he loves holding your hips (if you shift to a smaller form) sometimes he slides an arm around your waist.

He does it with a smug smile on his face and a slight flick of his tail.

As for in the bedroom, there were complications at first- establishing boundaries were important. As Striker I can see him not liking to be bottomed on often, since he dislikes being out of control.

But he will have some moments where he is,but very few.

He’s always preferred being a dominant, which may seem awkward sometimes however with the height difference.

Y’all find work arounds, even if you have to shift to a lower height to make it less so.

He loves your body, he absolutely does- he loves kissing down your thighs

He likes fucking you rough to see your ass jiggle, it’s pleasing to him.

When you top him, he’s either a power bottom or a brat.

He refuses to get pegged by you, nah, not a day in hell. He’ll let you ride his face and hold your thighs on him.

If he’s gonna die to a royal, it gotta be this way he refuses any other way.

[arcielee]

lost in a haze

Summary: Alastor isn't sure what to make of Lucifer. Paring: Lucifer Morningstar x Alastor Word Count: 2.3k+ Warnings: m/m, masturbation, blowjob, handjob, fingering, spit as lube to start, unprotected bathroom sex, Lucifer is a fucking top let's be fr Author's Note: Banner artwork credit! Thank you my darling @fallingintoyourlilaceyes for reading this over for me 💜 and thank you to Hozier for your EP that always provides me fic titles. This is my first every attempt at a m/m fic. This idea has been rattling in my brain since I watched the show. I hope you enjoy!

Alastor was panting in the steam-filled bathroom. His one hand was pressed flat to the marble that only the King of Hell would surely have tiled from floor to ceiling, while his other pumped the length of his cock, swollen and aching. But it was a fruitless chase to mollify what had settled into the pit of his stomach, nesting behind the stitches that now lined across his abdomen and gnawing at his organs. 

And it all started several days earlier when he first woke up in an unrecognizable room. There had been a knock at the door and Lucifer walked in. He did not have that narrowed expression sneered across, but seemed more bright, more apathetic as he looked Alastor over. 

It was this look that began an unease that started to mull beneath. 

Lucifer was holding a tray and watched as the Imp that trailed behind him placed a pillow across Alastor’s lap. “Your breakfast,” he almost chirped, placing it on top of the pillow to balance. “I wasn’t sure what you would be in the mood for, so I just went with a classic Eggs Benedict with some potatoes and sausage patties.” 

It felt surreal. The warmth seeping into his lap was pleasant, the savory smells of the meal prepared caused his hunger to rumble with a ferocity that throbbed his sutures. Alastor tipped his chin down to see how they ran diagonal from his chest to his hip. “What happened?” 

He could remember his staggered steps back into the broken radio tower, his wheezing to try and regain his breath, and his fumbling attempts for supplies to try and staunch his bleeding. And then nothing, but this was where Lucifer began. He detailed how he followed the trail of blood, how it was slick on the floors. He continued how he found Alastor closer to a second death than life, and ended with the heroic return home so he could tend to him.

Alastor could only stare and a silence settled over as he processed these words. He thought back to the animosity that burned from the devil with their first meet up in the hotel lobby. It now seemed somewhat comical in comparison to the almost sheepish display he was showing now. 

It prickled his nerves, the unease now coursing through his veins. 

“There was some concern at first, since it was an injury from an angelic weapon and all, but you seem to be healing up nicely,” Lucifer added with an almost shy smile. 

There was the low gurgle of his stomach that punctuated his quiet. 

Lucifer blinked. “I’ll, uh, just leave you to eat then.” He shifted and something twisted across his face; he didn’t say anything and just left Alastor alone. 

The unease remained, a slow curdle of emotions that braised beneath and rattled his bones. As the days passed, it pulled at him, aimless but wanting. This persistent bedevilment carried with his steps, flaring hotly with every awkward interaction he shared with Lucifer. 

The devil, however, seemed unaffected. 

Alastor truly began to study him, noticing how Lucifer tailored to his lithe figure that was always complementing his trimmed waist. His proximity was a prickly heat, amplified whenever Lucifer caught him staring. Alastor struggled to digest those moments whenever Lucifer would look him over with the slow draw of his eyes, his lips hinting but never committing to a smile. 

And he would just go, leaving Alastor with his presence that lingered behind, thickening the air around him. 

Now he stood beneath the water for so long it almost felt cool against his heated skin. Alastor let out a wet sigh that echoed off the walls before shutting off the water, pressing his brow to the marble. There was another hefty exhale as the unwelcomed weight settled back into his core. 

He understood that his only escape would be to return back to the hotel, to leave this accursed place and its smirking-fucking-owner. 

Alastor stepped from the shower,trying to ignore the heavy sway between his slender thighs. He dried off before tucking the towel high around his waist, positioning his flushed cock upright and against his stomach. 

There was a knock and water droplets fell as his ears flattened back. 

“Come in,” he said without a second thought to his current indecency. 

It was fucking Lucifer–as he should come to expect by now. He wore his idea of casual wear, dark slacks and a white collared shirt with his sleeves rolled to his elbows. There was a few buttons undone that hinted to his smooth, pale planes of his chest beneath, and his blond hair was tousled back. 

Alastor gripped his towel, twisting his shame away and facing the mirror. His palm reached to wipe away the steam and saw that Lucifer was watching him. 

But if he noticed anything, he gave no indication. Instead he said that breakfast was ready. 

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Alastor could feel his blood, hot and thick, coursing through him and rising to the surface. His eyes narrowed on Lucifer in the fogged reflection. “I am almost done here.” 

The silence they often shared returned thick, mixing in the steamy air that surrounded them. Lucifer frowned, stepping fully into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. 

Alastor’s ears perked, his careful watch of the scrutinous gaze as the devil looked him over. He hoped the remaining pink from his shower masked how his blood was now simmering beneath his skin. 

“I said I’ll be done in a moment,” his tone clipped, his hostility clutched as tight as the towel wrapped around his slender waist like a summoned guard against Lucifer. 

He was unfazed, allowing another pregnant pause before he finally spoke. “Thank you.”

Alastor blinked. “I didn’t say anything–”

“Oh, I know,” he cut through, stepping closer, his scrutinous gaze peering over his shoulder into the mirror, “I was helping you find the actual words that you should be saying.” 

Alastor frowned, his eyes narrowing onto the reflection. “May I remind you that I never asked you to rescue me.” 

“You would not have been able to,” he retorted, his tone hot, “you were barely responsive when I fucking found you.” 

Alastor turned to face him, but whatever rebuttal he had caught in his throat. He realized that Lucifer was close, and he noticed the tensity of how his eyes bore through him. The steam that had yet dissipated enriched the rosiness of his alabaster cheeks and his eyes shone bold. 

It felt as if the bathroom were deflating around him, the walls pressing in. 

“How about whenever you finally do something I consider worthwhile,” Alastor rasped, his pride forcing the words from him, “I will then make sure to say thank you.” 

He was testing to see if the demon that thrummed beneath his tailored fits would surface, would erupt to tear open his healing wound. But instead his signature smirk curled onto his lips and he stepped closer, his hand pressing to feel Alastor. 

His touch bolted the length of Alastor’s spine and he hunched over, choking on a gasp from the abrasive hand. Lucifer moved even closer, relishing the throbbing against his palm through the damp fabric. His brow arched. “Then allow me to do something worthwhile.”  

Alastor felt outside of his body as he watched his towel puddle around his feet. The edge of the countertop was cold and dug into his backside as he fell back to balance the weight of Lucifer’s hands pressing onto his thighs. His tension churning was aboiled as the devil sank to his knees, the unfurled trepidation as Lucifer’s jaw unhinged to swallow him. 

The salacious pace set by Lucifer’s forked tongue tasting him pulled every thought from his mind. He let out a gasp when Lucifer pulled back to lick his palm, wrapping it around the base and stroking in tandem with his mouth. The devil sucked to savor, but with a determination that pulled a low groan from the back of Alastor’s throat; he gasped again from the vibration of Lucifer in response. 

He could not catch his breath, the fellatio pulling him upwards to an unknown peak and bolting past, a teasing teetering on a ledge of pleasure that was coiling tight at the base of his spine. The lewd sounds filled the small space and Alastor was close, so painfully close. 

His cock was throbbing and then it stopped. Alastor opened his eyes, dazed, dilated, a desperate search only to see the smug satisfaction that now played on Lucifer’s face. 

Lucifer pulled himself upright, his lips swollen and glossy from his spit, and his hands moved to Alastor’s narrow waist, lifting him enough to sit on top of the counter. He pushed apart his thighs, spitting on his palm again before his hand returned to a languid pace up and down Alastor’s flushed cock. 

Alastor swore his teeth would crack with his suppressed groan, his head falling back against the mirror with a dull thud. He did not see how Lucifer licked his fingers, but felt his hand drop lower, searching. Alastor shuddered from the tentative touch, the slow circle drawn that sparked a new pleasure that licked up his spine. 

Lucifer was coy. “Enjoying yourself?”

“Fuck you,” but the venom he tried for only stammered from his lips. 

Lucifer hummed with a sly smile and hooded eyes. He moved until he was pressed against Alastor’s bare chest, tilting his head to bite the slope of his neck. “Maybe later,” he murmured against his skin, and Alastor could not stop the strangled mewl when a finger curled within him. “But you first.” 

The pleasure bolted back down his spine, causing his cock to jerk. Lucifer watched him, his eyes darkening and his smile stretching across his sharp jaw. “I figured you would like this,” he purred. “Are you ready to thank me yet?” 

The sound Alastor made was his choking attempt to pull the words from the back of his throat, but he could not think, not with how the blood roared in his ears, not with how his heart was reverberating against his bruised bones. 

Lucifer hummed again. “Not quite?” He grinned, pressing another finger into his puckered hole. 

Alastor moaned louder, writhing from the touch. Lucifer quickened the pace of his hands, and he felt the delicious pressure bursting from the pit of his stomach, bright with colors and pulsing hotly onto his own stomach. 

Alastor felt boneless, almost folding when Lucifer pulled away. He only returned to his body with the sound of the sink, of drawers being rummaged through. He saw the devil’s slacks unbuttoned, the glossy sheen that covered the ridges and veins of his cock, thick and heavy. He knitted his slender waist back between his thighs and Alastor canted his hips, moving closer to the edge. 

“Eager, aren’t we?” Lucifer teased him, his lubed fingers touching, lining himself. 

He stayed quiet, his jaw tightening as he focused on the blunt prod. Even with the foreplay it was still a tight fit, but Lucifer was artful with gentle thrusts that filled him, sinking into him. His skin prickled with a cold sweat, a shuddered rasp pulled once Lucifer sheathed completely within him. 

Lucifer paused once his hips were flushed intimately against the cradle of his hips. He watched a moment before his head tipped up to drag his tongue along the curve of Alastor’s neck, his teeth nipping at his pulse. It was the small sounds that spilled that summoned the demon, a bruising hold on his hips and powerful thrusts that sent hot bolts to the ends of his nerves. 

Alastor felt lifeless. His mouth fell open with muted cries as Lucifer pounded mercilessly into him. 

“Let me hear you,” Lucifer pulled him upright, his claws dragging down his back, marking him. 

Alastor reached and his fingertips bit into his sharp jaw, bringing his lips to touch his own. The kiss was desperate and Lucifer bit him; Alastor groaned from the taste of iron, and again when Lucifer dropped to bite into his chest. 

It stirred something deep, something primal within him. 

“Give me one more,” Lucifer rasped against his mouth. It was not a request and Alastor felt his cock jerk. “Touch yourself.”

There was another bite where his pulse was pushing against his skin and Alastor arched against him, his heart bruising to the surface. Lucifer’s mouth trailed upwards with heated, wet kisses, and Alastor moved his hand between them, pushing him backwards so his hand could wrap around his hardening cock. 

Lucifer smirked, returning to the powerful thrusts that filled, coaxing another thundery groan from Alastor, his hand falling in a rhythm around his cock. It built fast and Alastor swelled, breathless and brimming, the faraway command brought his second release and it stricken his bones, the euphoric coil bursting.

For a second time Alastor could feel the slow return back into his skin, blinking to focus on Lucifer and his salacious grin. The mess made began to spill from him and Alastor burned, pressing his hands to the firm chest peeking beneath the white shirt, pushing until Lucifer slipped from him.  

His heady gaze remained. “Fuck breakfast,” Lucifer said, his fingers moving to unbutton his shirt. “I think I’m going to take a shower.” He seemed roguish, his satisfaction obnoxious. “Care to join me?”

Alastor was still splayed on the counter, life drained and filthy. For a moment he thought to leave, but his movement caused the spend to spill.

So instead he said yes. 

“Yes what?”

The devil returned to his teasing tone, but this time it pulled something prurient from Alastor, something he now knew he would no longer try to control. “Yes,” and a moment passed before he decided to play along, “and thank you.”

It was quiet, but it was enough. Lucifer beamed, peeling away his layers and moving back towards the shower. He paused to look over his shoulder, watching with hooded eyes as Alastor pulled himself to follow.

Alastor stared back at him, a sharp grin spreading across his jaw. “After all, it’s my turn now.”

arcie's masterlist

[barefoot-joker]

Highway Robbery Yandere!Striker X Reader

Hey, guys! Long time no read! Today I bring you Yandere!Striker from Helluva Boss! I really fell in love with his character and knew I had to write something for him. I hope I didn't make him to OOC and that you enjoy! Thanks for reading!

Warnings: Swearing, Kidnapping, being held gunpoint (Reader), being robbed, being tied up (Reader)

Words: 2,796

I sighed as I fluffed up my dark blue vest. I was feeling a bit tired today, but still ready for the day nonetheless. The sunlight from the morning strobed through the beautiful stained glass windows and the smell of eggs and bacon permeated the kitchen air. Today was going to be a long one with the Goetia family as Stolas would be in meetings and Stella was visiting her brother. Taking the breakfast from its pan, I plated them on intricate blue laced porcelain plates. Satisfied, I grabbed all three and headed to the main dining room. At the head of the table sat the Prince himself, a newspaper open in his hands. Stella sat across from him on the rotary phone, her conversation very loud. Octavia sat in between them, her earbuds in to tune out the world. Going around the table I sat each plate down and then stood off to the side. Pringles came up beside me and read off each royal’s schedule for the day. When he finished he turned to me. “Y/n, I need you to pick up some packages that are ready. I have a set list of where you need to go.”

“Of course, Pringles. I’ll get on it straight away.”

He nodded and the two of us stood by our masters in case we were needed. When breakfast was finally cleared, I went to my room and grabbed my coat. It was quite lovely: a nice heavy dark blue cotton that reached my ankles, gold embellishments detailing celestial bodies across the lapels and upper back. It was a gift from Stolas when I first arrived at the Goetia estate nearly a decade ago. I put it on and exited to the lobby, seeing the Prince and Pringles chatting. They stopped upon seeing me and my fellow servant nodded in my direction. “Your list, my lady.”

He handed me the small piece of parchment and upon skimming through it I noticed most things were for Stella. Stolas was next to hold his hand, a small lumpy brown bag in his talons. “Some money in case things were not paid for.”

He gently sat the bag in my impish hands. “Thank you, Sire.”

I bowed and placed the bag into the pocket of my coat. Bidding the two goodbye, I headed out the door.

Most of my morning and afternoon were spent going into various shops and picking up the desired packages for the Goetia family. I had acquired a large bag full by the time I headed home. However, as I was walking I felt something wrap around my waist. Looking down I saw a lasso and before I could do anything I was tugged into an alleyway. My head slammed against the brick building behind me and I felt the cold tip of a gun against my temple. Looking up in fright, I saw a light red cowboy imp snarling in my direction. His long tail kept flicking back and forth as he dug the weapon into my skin. “Well, well, well. Look what we have ‘ere. Yer far from home aren’t ya, little Goetia peasant.”

I trembled and the rope around my waist felt like it was going tighter. “W-what do you want?”

He smirked, his golden tooth glinting in the light. “I’ve been watchin’ ya all day, just waitin’ for the right moment to strike. Yer masters need their feathers ruffled so give me all ya got!”

Before I could question what he wanted, he attempted to tug the bag from my hands. I gripped tight and tried to hold it back. Within the struggle the bag ripped and everything dumped out. I gasped and the safety of the gun clicked off. “Pick. It. Up. Darlin’.”

The rope around my waist disappeared and I fell to my knees. My arms trembled as I picked everything up and handed it to him. He threw everything into a knapsack hanging off his shoulder before his yellow eyes stared back down at me. “Ya know, that jacket of yours would fetch a pretty price. Give it.”

I sighed but shakily took it off and handed it to the imp. His eyes scanned me once more before they stopped on the silver chain dangling from my neck. “Tryin’ to hide something valuable, princess? I don’t think so!”

He aimed the black gun at my neck and tapped my necklace with the tip. I gasped and clutched it in my hand. “I-I can’t! You can have everything but that! I-It was a gift from a friend!”

“Save the fuckin’ sob story. Hand it over.”

“No!”

He growled, slapped my hand away, and tugged. I gasped when I heard the chain snap and watched as he twirled the locket in his claws. He gave a chuckle as he opened the heart charm when suddenly his face fell. I could swear his face went paler than it already was. His eyes flicked back up to me and roamed my face, his Adam's apple bobbing from his gulp. Suddenly his gun came up and smacked my temple, throwing me to the ground in pain. I grunted and watched my perpetrator run off. Oh Lucifer, what was I going to tell Stolas?

I sighed in defeat and stood, dusting myself off. Silently I made my way back to the Goetia estate.

When I entered the foyer, I did my best to creep past Stolas’ office. However, he looked up and caught me. “Ah, Y/n! You’re back!”

He stood and made his way out the door to me. A smile graced his beak but it fell when he saw the state of me. My hair had become messed up from my fall and there was most likely a bruise forming from where the imp smacked my temple. “Y/n, oh my stars! Are you alright? What happened?!”

He knelt down and lightly brushed his talons across my forehead. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. On my way back I was robbed. An imp held me at gunpoint and took everything. I’m so sorry!”

I started to cry and held my hands up to my eyes. Stolas placed his hands on my shoulders to try and soothe me. “There, there. Everything will be fine.”

“But won’t Stella be mad? There was some expensive stuff he took.”

“No matter. All I care about is that you’re alright. Here, let’s get some ice to tend to that bruise.”

The Prince took me to the kitchen and had me sit as he went to the freezer. He placed some ice into a plastic bag and had me hold it to my temple. “I’m so sorry, Sire. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“It’s no problem at all, Y/n. I’m just glad all you got was a knock on the head. How about you take it easy and I’ll have Pringles get dinner ready.”

“I can help too, your Highness!”

“No please, I insist.”

I sighed. I never understood why Stolas was so nice to me. “Thank you, Sire.”

He nodded and left me to my devices. 

A few mornings later, I got dressed in my white dress shirt, blue vest and black pants. As I was tying my black bowtie I couldn’t help rub the area where my necklace used to be. It really was sentimental. It was basically a promise ring that my friend could afford at the time. With it gone I felt naked. A knock on my door made me get out of my thoughts. “Come in.”

The door opened to reveal Pringles. “Y/n, are you almost ready? His Highness is ready for you to take him to the Harvest Moon Festival.”

“I’ll be done in just a minute, sir.”

He nodded and headed off. I quickly tied my bowtie and made my way to the lobby where my boss stood waiting. “Ah Y/n, how are we feeling today? That bruise is not bothering you too much is it?”

Over the next few days my temple had gotten a sick purple and blue bruise. I was sort of used to it due to Stella’s tantrums but this one stung more. “It’s alright. How are we doing today, Sire?”

“Nervous. I heard my dearest Blitzy will be at the ceremony today and I don’t want to mess up in front of him.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, your Highness. Shall we go?”

He nodded and he teleported us to the Wrath ring. As soon as we got there a crowd had already formed around the stage. I walked behind my master and he gave his little speech. As I scanned the crowd, I froze. Standing next to Blitz was the imp that robbed me, a smug look on his face. I couldn’t believe it. Why the hell was he here? The cowboy spotted me and gave me a tip of his hat. I backed up a bit and as soon as Stolas was done I quickly followed him to his private booth. 

The festival went off without a hitch. Stolas was making heart eyes and swooning everytime Blitz was caught in action. As I watched I couldn’t help but notice the cowboy keep his eyes on me when he could. It almost seemed like he was trying to impress me. Soon it was time for Stolas to announce the winners. The two of us went to the stage and the owl cleared his throat. “As for the winners we have in first place, Striker! And in second place, my darling Blitzy!~”

The two came on stage and I could finally put a name to the face. I didn’t dare to look at him, the flashbacks of the gun on his hip attached to my forehead to vivid. The rest kind of went in a blur. I stood by my master’s side as he greeted each of the imps and chatted. It was only a few minutes into the meet and greet I noticed Blitz and his friends missing. I knew Stolas was wanting to talk to his secret lover so I went to look for him. My legs brought me to a house and I couldn’t help but hear the commotion upstairs. I forced myself up the steps and couldn’t help the gasp that escaped my throat. On the floor lay an unconscious male and female imp, Blitz leaning against the bed with his hand on his arm, and Striker holding a rifle out the window. My eyes widened when I realized that the gun was pointed at Stolas.

I rushed in and attempted to tackle the cowboy, but his tail threw me against the wall. “Well look who decided to join us. If it isn’t little Y/n.”

How did he know my name?

I growled and attempted to stand, but his tail trapped me. “Ya know, I wasn’t expectin’ to see yer face again, but hey, I won’t say no to seein’ yer pretty eyes.”

“Fuck you! If you think your flirting will make me forget your robbery and the fact that you were trying to kill my employer, you’re dead wrong!”

I thrashed against his hold but he just laughed. “Who knew ya could be so feisty! I love it.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Blitz stand before he side tackled Striker to the ground. The rifle went flying to the floor and as the two struggled, I grabbed it. I aimed it right at the nasty little cowboy. He threw Blitz off of him and stood, fluffing his jacket. “Now darlin’, how about ya just hand that gun on over.”

“Listen, fucker. I don’t know who you think you are but I never want to see you again. You come near his Highness and I swear to Lucifer I will kill you!”

He glanced from me to the rifle, his mind seemed to be made up. “Alrighty, sugar. Ya win. I’ll go, but don’t think this is the last time we see each other.”

With that he ran towards the window and hopped out. I dropped the rifle and helped Blitz pick up his friends, us returning to Stolas. We explained the situation and we thought it best to leave. The owl prince apologized to the crowd for leaving so soon and with that we were off.

The rest of the month went by as it usually would. Striker was nowhere to be seen which was good and life at the palace was steady. It was the start of the next month and nightfall had hit. Everyone was already asleep and I had just put on my baggy t-shirt and shorts. I was just about to crawl into bed when I felt a shiver run down my spine. Something felt off. I looked around my room when suddenly a hand wormed its way around my mouth. I tried to scream and fight my assailant but they held me tight and close. “Shh, shh, darlin’. Don’t fight. We’re goin’ somewhere safe, I promise ya. Just close those pretty eyes fer me.”

I couldn’t breathe, I could hardly move. Eventually I succumbed to the darkness.

When I woke up it was slow. I could feel I was lying on something and my arms were slightly lifted. I groaned and looked over to see Striker sitting in a chair nearby. “Yer finally awake! Took ya long enough.”

I tugged on my arms to sit up but they just stayed put. Looking up I saw they were tied to the bedposts. I kept tugging like the rope would give way and that just made Striker laugh. “Strugglin’ ain’t gonna help, sweetheart. I’m an expert at tying knots.”

He gave a wink and I scoffed. “Why am I even here? You got what you wanted when you robbed me blind. What more could I possibly give you?!”

“Do ya really not recognize me, Y/n?”

Striker stood and took off his hat, his white bangs flopping into his eyes. I shook my head. Suddenly something shiny was thrusted into my face and after staring at it for a few minutes I realized it was my necklace. The heart charm was open to reveal a picture of me and my childhood friend Benjamin from when we were kids. My eyes glanced between the photo and Striker and finally I understood.

Striker was Benjamin.

“B-Ben?”

“That’s right, babydoll. Yer best friend is back.”

“B-But I thought you were killed in the extermination! I, I-”

“I almost was but I escaped with an inch of my life. Holy bullets are helpful sometimes, ya know.”

I couldn’t believe it. It had been ten years since I had last seen my best friend. We had gotten separated when the extermination hit Hell and since then I believed him to be dead. “I wasn’t expecting to see ya that day. I probably would have killed ya but I recognized ya as soon as I saw yer necklace. I can’t believe ya kept it all these years.”

“How could I throw away the only piece of my best friend away? Dammit Benjamin, why didn’t you come find me?”

He growled and slammed his hands on either side of my head. “I did! I went to the orphanage in Wrath and they told me that the Goetias picked you up! The fuckin’ Goetias! Why would ya go with them after everything I told ya?!”

“Because I lost hope, that’s why! I thought I had lost my best friend and I knew it was only time before they killed me! I had no choice!”

He let out a rattlesnake hiss and backed away, his eyes full of venom. “How could ya lose hope? I promised I’d always come fer ya, didn’t I? That’s what the fuckin’ jewelry was for! To show my devotion and love fer ya!”

I paused. “L-love?”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his snout. “Yes, pumpkin. Love. I was gonna confess but the damn extermination got in the way and the rest is history.”

He glanced up at me before sitting by my side, his tail coming up to caress my cheek. “But now that I have ya, I’m never lettin’ go. Yer never goin’ back to those pompous asses. I won’t allow them to take away everything I cherish again.”

His hands were quick to grab my legs in a death grip. “B-Ben, you’re scaring me.”

“It’s not Ben anymore. It’s Striker.”

He held up my locket and I watched as it twirled in the moonlight of the motel room. “When I gave this to ya I made a promise. And now I’m comin’ to collect. I am a bounty hunter after all.”

With that he leaned forward, and our lips were intertwined.

[geekywritings]

“You are literally bleeding over my floor.”

Another little blurb for my favourite Jedi. 

You worry constantly about him, especially when he recklessly throws himself into danger. Even more so, when he comes back hurt.

___________________

You hated when he did that. When Cal just threw himself into the most dangerous missions without a care, leaving you behind on the ship. For a quick escape, he always argued, even though you’d much rather accompany him. 

This was another of those missions, as you sat in the cockpit of your small silver ship, engines running and waiting for him to return. Hopefully without a squadron of troopers at his tail. The cannons of your ship weren’t exactly reliable, most calling the whole thing a flying piece of junk. At least it could still fly, you argued back.

Your eyes were fixated on the door straight ahead, leading into some tunnel system which in turn led to some new base the Empire had built on the snowy planet. One that Cal had vowed to destroy.

Seconds ticked by, then minutes and you were growing more and more restless. Perhaps you should go and check on him…

Just then the door at the end of the landing port did open, revealing the familiar red-head running toward the ship, BD holding on tightly on his shoulder. And of course, there was blaster fire behind him, as a small troop was hot on his heels.

He was pressing a hand to his side and your pulse instantly shot upward. He was hurt!

Moments later he was up on the ramp, stumbling into the ship, as you took off, hoping that the wonky shields would hold up against the blaster fire aimed at you. So far so good, and you were quick to take into the skies, going into hyperdrive the moment it was possible.

With the ship on autopilot, you joined Cal in the living area of your ship, where he was leaning against the table.

“Is that blood?”, you asked, noticing the red stain on his side.

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is…”, he began, wincing as he injected a stim into his side. As if that would cure a bleeding wound like that!

“You are literally bleeding over my floor.”, you argued back before practically dragging him toward the bedroom you shared. Your ship hardly left enough room for two private suites.

“Shirt off.”, you commanded.

“Is that your attempt at seducing me?”

Dammit, he had you smiling again, knowing too well how to dampen your anger. “I just wanna take a look at the wound and treat it correctly. Can’t have blood all over this place.”, you still tried to put anger in your voice, but it was gone. Left was only worry for him. And the love you felt.

As quickly as possible, you went to gather all you needed to patch him up, leaving him to undress. When you came back, you noticed that the wound was not from a blaster, but rather looked like claw marks.

He noticed your raised eyebrow and sighed. “Turns out those tunnels aren’t just full of Imps.”, he shrugged. “Nasty things apparently prefer Jedi over Stormtroopers for lunch.”

“Not funny.”, you argued, as you started to clean his wound, ignoring every whimper and twitch from him. “You need to be more careful.”

“I am. Mostly.”

“I am serious, Cal.” The tone of your voice had him drop the humor and sigh, as he met your worried gaze. “I don’t want to lose you.”, you whispered.

Slowly, he drew you closer, pulling you into a hug. “You won’t. I promise.”, he whispered back. “I’ll always come back to you. Always.”

You so badly wanted to believe him.

[julebirdie]

Sea Glass

Feat: Jade Leech/Floyd Leech (Separate)

Reader is Gender-Neutral

Not Requested

Disclaimers: Affectionate pet names (angel, dear, dearest, honey, etc), established relationships, Jade and Floyd sorta give the reader no personal space for a bit 😭, Floyd is a menace to Grim for a bit

♡- Jade Leech

"Alright! One bag of multi-color sea glass, and would you be interested in adding an enchanted book that reads the content to you to the purchase? It's half off!" Sam said, wrapping a white tie onto the opening of the burlap sack.

"No thanks, Sam. Just the sea glass." You said, picking your wallet out of your pocket.

"Very well, that'll be 1500 thaumarks!" He said, popping open the register. Handing him the currency, he organized it into the slots and handed you the bag. “Thank you for your purchase, little imp!”

You waved goodbye as you left the store. Once on the field, you opened the bag. Staring at awe at the beautiful stones that clinked together at every motion, excitement grew. You couldn’t wait to give to him.

‘Wait, he’s working!”

But, as long as you’re a customer, there’s no harm in visiting the lounge. Closing the bag, you began to walk towards the main campus with a goal in mind.

----

Entering the lounge, you felt yourself relax at the jazz music that was playing. Picking one of the booths closest to the aquarium, you watched the aquatic animals swim and glide past the glass. You wondered how they got there, and why some of them were glowing. However, you couldn’t ponder too much as a familiar voice broke your train of thought.

"Good afternoon and welcome to the Mostro Lounge, what can I get you to drink?” Turning from the glass, you found your boyfriend standing at the end of the table.

“Jade!”

“Hello dearest. How has your day been?”

“Good, good. Um, I’ll just have a water.”

“Very well. Take a look at our foodstuff and I’ll be back momentarily.”

As Jade left, you felt your excitement grow. Bouncing your leg, you thought of ways to give him the bag. What if you did a big show of it, or gave him it while he was distracted, which one of your ideas would he enjoy the most?

“Here’s your water,” Jade said, placing it onto a paper coaster, “and what would you like to eat?”

“Uhh, fries?” You said, being caught off guard.

“And why do you sound uncertain?” Glancing around for his employer and his brother, Jade slid into the empty spot next to you.

“Uhh, just thinking about fish.” You lied, scooting away from him.

“Fish?” He moved closer, smiling cheekily at you.

“Mhm, the fishies. Like that glowing yellow one.”

“The Yellow Tang? I never considered it to be glowing,” Jade said, pulling you to him in an embrace. But as he did that, the sea glass in your pocket clinked together at the movement.

”What was that? Sounded like Floyd dropped a glass.” You said incredulously, not making eye contact with the heterochromatic eyes that were staring straight at you.

“Why blame Floyd? It came from your pocket dear.” He said.

Looking at his entertained face, you caved. “Alright, I give.” You said, pulling out the burlap sack and handing it to Jade. He stared at the bag for a moment before opening it.

“Sea glass?” He asked.

“Yeah! I saw it in Sam’s shop and I thought you would like it. I-If not I can-“

“Oh, hush. I love it.”

At those words, the biggest smile spread across your face. Wrapping your arms around his shoulder, you pressed a long kiss to his nose.

“Yay! I’m so happy you like it!”

“Any gift my angel gives me will forever bring me joy.” Jade responded, placing the bag onto the table before returning the hug.

The two of you sat like that for a moment, before you noticed other customers and employees staring. “Okay, you should get back to work. Will you stay at the dorm tonight?” You asked, letting go of his shoulders.

“Of course, just be sure Grim doesn’t attempt to bite bits of my hair off again,” Jade chuckled, placing the bag of sea glass into his pocket, “and will you be getting fries after all?”

“Mhm! I love you honey, thank youu.”

“Love you too dear.”

After he delivered your fries, you could hear the sea glass clink in his pocket as he moved around the lounge. And apparently, you weren’t the only one who heard it.

“What in the Seven did you give Jade? He sounds like a wind-chime.” Azul grumbled, standing next to your table with a tray in hand.

“Just a teensey gift.” You giggled, making Azul sigh.

♡- Floyd Leech

Something tells you that telling Floyd you had a surprise for him was a terrible idea.

“Azul! Sorry to bother you while you’re working, but have you seen Floyd?” You said, dashing into the lounge and towards him.

“No, I haven’t. In fact, I assumed he was with you.” Azul said, before walking away to serve a table. Glancing at Jade, who gave you a shrug, the wires in your mind connected.

He was flipping Ramshackle upside down looking for his gift.

Your eyes widened and you turned away, running through the entrance of the lounge. Thank heaven that your dorm was on campus, because if it was through the Hall of Mirrors it’d probably be on fire now.

As you approached the gate, you waved hello to Malleus and Silver. You couldn’t catch much, but you understood that Malleus was giving a lecture on why gargoyles and statues were not the same thing.

“Oh, (Y/N). I understand that you and one of the Leech twins are partners, but proceed with caution. I saw him run into the dorm and he has yet to leave.” Malleus warned, before returning to his speech.

You nodded, a silent thanks, before running past the gate and up the path. Slowly, you opened the creaky door and stepped into the common area, closing the entrance behind you.

"Myah, (Y/N)! You’re home! The scary twin is digging through your things! And he tied me to this chair!" Grim yelled as you hunched over, trying to catch your breath. You watched as he tried to untie the restraints that bound him to a dusty chair, only rocking it in the process. "Grim, I'm more worried about the fact he tied you to a chair." You said. Standing up straight, you walked behind the chair. Picking at the knots until they loosened, Grim leaped out and into your arms.

“Thank you (Y/N)! I was so scared- I mean, I was so angry that he dared tie me up!” You smiled, petting him between his fluffy ears. You let Grim adjust himself in your arms before ascending the stairs, hearing very loud rustling from your room.

Peeking past the door frame, you saw a tall frame with wild turquoise hair tussling the blankets and pillows you had on your bed. "Floyd? What're you doing?" You said.

At the sound of his name, Floyd lifted his head from your mattress with a small blanket on his head. If he weren't destroying the tranquility of your room, you'd find it adorable.

"Shrimpy, you're back!" Floyd said cheerfully, moving in to hug you. However, he stopped when he saw Grim in your arms.

“Aww, you untied Baby Seal. And I worked so hard to tie him up.” He whined.

“Floyd, answer my question.”

“I was looking for the surprise!”

You sighed, exasperated. You saw the disarray that your room had become, and you had spent so much time organizing it this morning too.

“Floyd, if you had told me you were here you would've gotten your gift quicker,” You said. You felt Grim start to move, and you loosened your arms. Once you did, he jumped onto your shoulder and into the hallway, whispering about 'how dangerous saying that was,' and 'how you're on your own if you get hurt,' but you knew he was just outside, watching for any signs of danger.

“But it was fun snooping, I found cool things!" Floyd said, hugging you now that Grim was out of the way. "Like what, hun?" You said, running your hand through his tussled hair. "Like my hoodie that you took! I spent weeks looking for that!" He grumbled, digging his head deeper into the crook of your neck.

"Oopsies," you giggled, "will you forgive me if I give you your gift?"

As you finished your sentence, Floyd's head whipped up from your neck. He stared intensely at you, before nodding frantically.

"Alright little eel, no need for such intensity." You said, moving to your dresser. Pushing it forward, you grabbed a burlap sack you had taped behind the mirror. You could hear the sea glass clink together, and so could Floyd.

Turning around, you came face-to-face with your boyfriend, who was drawn in by the noise.

"Here it is babe. Take a look, tell me if you like it." You said, smiling, extending it to him.

Floyd picked up the bag from your outstretched hands, shaking it near his ear. Opening the bag, his eyes widened as he stared at the multi-colored pieces of eroded glass. It reminded him of home, of stalking the beach with Jade and Azul during the night looking for pretty stones.

Getting anxious at his lack of response, you decided to do the best thing you could think of. "Floyd? I-I'm sorry, I should've gotten you something else. I'll return it and-" Before you could reach out to grab the bag, Floyd pulled in his arms and held the bag out of your reach.

"You're returning nothin', I love it." He said, suddenly scarily serious.

"Are you sure? Don't feel bad-"

"Shrimpy, I'm sure. I love itt." He drawled, now back to normal. Burying the bag into his pocket, he pulled you to him and began to cover your face in small kisses.

"Hahah! Floyd stop, that tickles!" You laughed, tossing your arms around his neck to pull him closer, despite what you were saying.

"You really like the gift?" You asked, placing a stray hair behind his ear. Floyd stopped kissing you for just a second, saying "Yes, I'm sure baby," before continuing with the kisses.

You sighed, relieved. "I'm guessing this means you're staying here tonight?" You asked, brushing Floyd's hair with your fingers. "Mhm! But I want my hoodie." He said.

"Alright, but no more tying Grim to chairs."

"No promises Shrimpy."

"Floyd."

"Alright, no more tying up Baby Seal."

[fluffiwrites]

RAHHH I had to write these two im sorry they’re perfect💕💕

Lee!Link, Ler!Midna!! Tws: Tickle fic, empty death threat at the end. <33

The Hero? Ticklish?

“Do you not ever know when to shut up?” Link snarked, hopping over an unnecessarily big tree root as the two companions traversed through the forest.

“Do you ever know how to stop being a cocky brat?” She retorted, giving his side an emphasising squeeze.

Though, Link didn’t react how she expected him to..he laughed? ..Why would he.. Oh..Ohh.

His eyes widened, realising what’d just happened.

“My, my..what do we have here?” A wide smirk grew across Midna’s face as Link stopped in his tracks, completely still.

As frozen as his body, a nervous smile was plastered on his face as he spoke, “M-Midna…Don’t you dare.”

She snickered, “Wow, so serious! Why don’t you loosen up a little? You’re awfully tense, Linky~” The imp grinned, gently digging her fingers into Link’s sides.

He gasped & squeaked, shooting his hands to her wrists.

Midna giggled, “Aww is something the matter? Feeling a little ticklish?” Chills ran down his back once she said that word, stammering as he searched for a snobby comeback, his cheeks only burning more & more as Midna spidered along his ribs.

“I’m n-not —ah! t-tii-hihihi!!” He squeezed his eyes shut, avoiding the look on Midna’s face as he began to break.

She worked her way up Link’s sides, chuckling at every giggle & flinch she got out of him. The hero yelped, his knees buckling from below him when she reached that spot.

“Jackpottt~~” His voice continuously cracked as high-pitched yet muffled laughter bubbled from his hand-covered mouth, quickly lowering into an adorable sweet laugh, loud & genuine.

“Awww look at that~ you’re blushing!! Listen to your little squeaks!!” She cooed, “Do it again, Linky!!”

“Nohohohoo—MihidnaAA!!” He soon descended into a cackling blushy mess, desperately trying to hide his flushed face, squealing & kicking his feet into the ground, “Nohot thEHEre!!”

“Not where? Here?” She drilled into his sensitive hollows, teasing at the ticklish skin, her nails clawing unbearably.

Any attempts Link made to resist were useless now, shrill laughter pouring out as Midna skittered her fingers rapidly up & down his torso, bringing & pinning his hands above his head.

“My, is the fate of Hyrule really in the hands of such a ticklish hero?”

Link whined through his laugh, which was quickly becoming silent, reducing to quiet wheezes & a pounding chest. Midna let up, with a final flutter behind his ears.

Link took a moment to regain his breath before complaining through his leftover giggles, “You’re so horrihid!!”

“Oh, really?” She giggled, “Did you tell me to stop?”

His face grew a even deeper red than it already was, & the expression on it was priceless, he threw his head into his hands, the other howling in the background.

“Yeah, yeah, hilarious. Just shut up & carry on walking.” He grumbled.

“Okay Grouchy sorry you’re so ticklish.”

“Sh-Shut up!!” She broke into laughter again,

“You’re just so easy!!” She teased.

“Yeah alright..don’t ever tell anyone about this, Midna.”

“Or what?”

“I’ll kill you.”

[stories-and-chaos]

Tarnished pt 24

[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved.]

[Part 24/?? Word count: 2128]

[Cw: drug use, addiction, overdose, gaslighting]

—————

Fizzarolli was in process of moving his things to Lust. Ozzie was letting him stay in his palace until he got his own place. But the Sin made it clear he was welcome to be a long term resident. Fizz hadn’t decided yet, but the advantages were hard to ignore.

Not to mention, being in Asmodeus’ presence was…amazing. He told himself it was because the sex was so fucking good. While it was true the size of the boat didn’t matter as much as the motion of the ocean, having access to a luxury mega-yacht was just fucking fun. But regular bang sessions didn’t mean compatibility living together. Best to see how things went for a few weeks first.

Before that, he wanted to talk to Barb again. He’d been so busy, running around for Mammon. It had been over a week since that disastrous talk. Fizz belatedly realized she’d probably been high at the time. Likely she’d misunderstood what he’d tried to say and he needed to set things straight before it was too late.

But when he went to her studio apartment, she wasn’t there. Instead a quartet of imps that barely came up to his knees were. The studio wasn’t large by any means but for demons this small, it was probably palatial. They’d set it up as a sort of dormitory within the week since he’d been here last. And none of them had any clue about the previous tenant.

Now he was worried. Unfortunately, he didn’t know any of her current haunts. He had no clue of who she was getting her drug supply from either. Fizz had steered clear of the criminal side of Greed as much as possible; thinking back, Barb had encouraged that. Maybe to protect him, maybe to keep him away from her vices.

If she’d shown up to work at Mammon’s office building… even though it was his day off, he went over. But the office that Barb used was a repeat of her apartment. An unfamiliar imp was at the desk, sorting through the stacks of fan mail. “Oh, Mr. Fizzarolli! We weren’t expecting you in today.”

“Who the fuck are you? Where’s Barb?”

The male imp didn’t even flinch at Fizz’s hostility. “I’m Alphonse, you’re new assistant. Call me Alph. As for your former assistant, I’ll let Lord Mammon explain.” He dialed a number to inform the Sin and directed Fizz to the boss’s office.

“Fizzy my boy! Didn’t think you were coming today. Ya lookin’ pretty worked up, what’s got your balls in a twist?” Mammon looked as jovial as ever, with a scheming glint in his eyes.

“Where’s Barb? What the hell is going on?” Fizz demanded, his tone still hostile due to fear and frustration. “Did you do something to her?” he remembered Mammon’s disapproval with friend at his contest win.

“Whoa ho ho! Relax Fizzy, I ain’t done nothing!” He held up all his hands in an attempt to placate the imp. “Here, lemme show ya.” Mammon spun his computer monitor around and pulled up a clip of security footage. It was the main doors of the building and Barb was standing in front. Even through the grainy footage, he could see the angry tension in her body.

Then he watched as she picked up rocks and flung them with scary accuracy at the doors. He knew rocks wouldn’t break them, but her screamed curses and the sharp cracks of stone hitting reinforced glass made him jerk in fear. His tail wound around his legs as one rock bounced back and hit her face.

Despite his fear and the fact that he was watching footage from days ago, Fizz reached out to his friend with a cry. She was stunned for a moment, then “Fine. FINE, YOU HEAR ME! YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELVES! HAVE FUN BEING A PAMPERED WHORE FIZZ! YOU’RE JUST LIKE THAT TRAITOR BLITZO!” His ichor slowed to a crawl in his veins. Was that what she thought of him? The clip continued, showing her giving the building the middle finger as she walked out of sight.

“One of your new security guards talked to her about missing so many days and she went nuclear. She hasn’t been here since, so I sent some of my guys lookin for her. Mailed her a severance package, the check got cashed so she musta gotten it.” He looked and sounded sympathetic; that scheming glint was still in his eyes though. Barb would have picked up on it, but Fizz was too distraught to notice.

Instead, he trusted in Mammon’s concerned tone. “Sorry Fizzy, but at least you didn’t get mixed up in her shit. Or get hurt when she fucked off.” He squished Fizz’s cheeks between two hands and switched to a sing-song tone. “Can’t have my brand baby’s face getting all fucked up again, right?” He let go of the imp clown abruptly, leaving Fizz off balance. “You know what’ll get your mind off all this? Getting some clown practice with me! Then we can knock out some of those photoshoots we need, whaddya say?”

Fizz shook his head to clear it. “Uh…yeah, sounds good Mammon, sir.” The photoshoot would be exhausting but the clown practice would be a nice change of pace before that. Mammon strived for perfection in his act and from his employees. Fizz was always up for practicing with his idol.

He worked hard enough that thoughts of his former(?) friend hovered just out of reach. He didn’t think about Barb’s situation until he was back in Lust, in Ozzie’s palace. “So how’d things go Froggie?” Oz asked as he prepared dinner for the two of them.

The hurt and anger came rushing back. “Oh, you know, terrible. Guess y’all were right about Barb. She’s ghosted now though, no point worrying about her!” He forced levity into his voice, trying to keep the worst at bay.

“Wait, what? What happened?” Ozzie set down the knife he’d been using to chop vegetables and came over to Fizz.

Fizz shrugged and wouldn't look Asmodeus in the eye. “Guess she hates me now. They had security footage from a few days back. She tried to attack Mammon’s building with rocks and started yelling about me being a whore traitor like Blitzo.” He couldn’t stop the tears welling up at the loss of the last person from his childhood. “No one’s seen her in days. Her apartment already has new tenants.”

Ozzie shrunk himself down to be closer to Fizz’s eye level. He had millennia of experience dealing with the other Deadly Sins. This all sounded sketchy and precisely in Mammon’s wheelhouse. “You sure that’s how everything went down Fizz? It’s just Mam’s word-“

“I saw the tape Ozzie! I heard what she said. She told me to fuck off.”

“Look, I can send some of my people out to find her. Make sure she’s safe at least.”

“You said it yourself, Asmodeus.” Fizz’s voice cracked as he continued. “She’s gotta make her own choices and she made hers pretty fucking clear. She doesn’t want me around and she doesn’t want my help.”

“Mmmm,” Ozzie hummed noncommittally. “If you insist, Fizzarolli.” He went back to the cutting board as Fizz started ranting about Barb and this Blitzo guy. Privately, the Sin was considering his options regarding Barb. He was somewhat limited in what he could do, since Greed wasn’t his Ring. But he could have his employees locate her at the very least. Just without Fizz’s knowledge.

Because Fizz’s words said he didn’t want anything to do with Barb or Blitzo. But his tone and body language told a different story. Ozzie knew all of Fizzarolli’s history by now; he could see the imp woman’s disappearance was hitting Fizz hard.

For tonight though, he could provide food and activities that would distract his partner. Being the embodiment of Lust was useful for distraction.

The next day he did ask his employees that were used to Greed to look for Fizz’s friend. It took a few months but they did find her. The succubi that located the imp reported she wasn’t doing well, but didn’t seem in immediate danger. Ozzie wasn’t going back on his policy of personal choice; he kept tabs on Barb for years, just in case.

Almost a decade later, he was glad he did. Ozzie’s employee that was checking on Barb had struck up a casual friendship with her. But the succubus rushed back one day in a panic. The imp had OD’d. While the ER team had pumped her stomach and stabilized her, she was in bad shape. Ozzie arranged for her immediate care and to get her checked into rehab through his employee. He hoped this would get Fizz’s old friend on the path to recovery, but again, it was up to her to follow through.

Asmodeus didn’t tell Fizz what happened. His partner’s animosity toward Barb hadn’t abated yet. It was just as strong as his disdain towards Barb’s long lost twin Blitzo. Ozzie had seen that firsthand years ago.

It had been a semi-formal meeting of Hell’s royalty. Lucifer Morningstar, the Deadly Sins, and the major players of Ars Goetia as well as other high ranking families were in attendance. Many guests brought along plus ones, with Ozzie bringing Fizz. A large number of Hell's upper echelons wanted to meet the imp, get autographs or selfies.

There were also many lower ranked demons following in their master’s wakes. Especially the Goetia; almost all of them had an imp or two, carrying items and fetching refreshments. One of the strongest Goetia, Prince Stolas, had his bound attendant at his side for the majority of the evening.

Ozzie had noticed the scarred imp by the owl demon lock his eyes onto Fizzarolli. Fizz; entertaining a small group with some sleight of hand, didn’t notice the attention. The other imp’s expression started shocked, then changed to hurt, then banked fury all in a few seconds. But he didn’t approach the clown or leave Stolas’s side. Most likely he couldn’t, considering the sigil mark Asmodeus could see on his neck.

Fizz had eventually felt hostile eyes on him. He spotted the imp glaring at him next to the Goetia. He looked confused, not sure why this stranger was so angry. Ozzie could almost see realization click into place, as if Fizz was matching his memory to the man staring him down. “Blitzo?” he said under his breath.

Then, as Blitzo had continued to glare across the crowded room, Fizz’s expression hardened into similar anger. His eyes flicked over his childhood friend and he sneered.

Even when Ozzie was introducing his business partner to others, that anger didn’t entirely fade. He put on a good show. He always did. But Asmodeus could tell the difference in his companion.

Eventually they crossed paths with Stolas. “Stolas!” Ozzie said cheerfully. “Haven’t seen you in awhile, how you been? Have you met my business partner Fizzarolli yet?”

“Always a pleasure to see you, my Lord Asmodeus. And I’m pleased to make your acquaintance, Fizzarolli. I am Prince Stolas of Ars Goetia.” He tilted his head slightly towards Fizz, in a slight show of respect. He did not introduce the imp next to him, but that wasn’t unusual with an attendant.

Ozzie made a show of looking around. “All by your lonesome tonight birdie babe?”

Stolas gave a hooting laugh. “Oh, you know Stella; there’s too much business and not enough gossip at functions like these. Besides, Blitzø is plenty of company for me.”

Meanwhile, the two imps continued to glare silently. Fizz caught sight of Blitzo’s forehead up close and if anything he seemed angrier. Ozzie could see them both seething, not able to do anything with all the royals around. He and Stolas chatted a bit longer before Ozzie made the excuse of “Fizzarolli and I have a lot of his fans to meet still, we’ll catch up later Stolas.”

Stolas for his part, nodded and replied “It seems my presence is requested by my father. Another time Asmodeus. Come along Blitzø.” There was a faint glow at the imp’s neck as the pair made their way through the crowd. Throughout the night, the two imps continued to send furious looks at each other, beneath the noses of demonic royalty.

When Ozzie asked Fizz about the other imp later, a naked Fizzarolli launched into a familiar tirade as he paced around their rumpled bed. Ozzie let him vent everything out, the image of patience. He artfully draped a silken sheet over himself. When Fizz had finally ran out of words, the Sin’s pinup style pose had the desired effect. But afterwards, Asmodeus resolved to have that follow up with Stolas.

—————

<<First <Prev Next>

[thelampisaflashlight]

I sent this as a comment to the post but I figure for better visibility I’ll send it here

Just like ghoul piles, you might run into an imp pile. They’re not as considerate though, often times lumped up in the middle of a hall if that meant being in that delightful sun beam. Attempting to join an imp pile will normally lead to being stuck in place for several hours and many demands for scrichies. If you’re in casual clothing that includes a hoodie, expect one to try and shove it’s way into the pocket for a cozy spot. One might also climb into your hood so be careful to not get choked.

Imps really will just see a person sitting quietly and go, “It’s free real estate” and climb all over them.

The smaller the imp, the more likely you might be to feel something moving around in your sweatshirt pocket and reach in only to hear a startled “MEEP” or chitter in response.

[writeyouin]

Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) X GN-Reader - Sinless Sinners - Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Hell's Assumptions

A/N – Okay, I think that’s everyone on the tagging list. So, here’s to Chapter 4. Raise a glass.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

MALE VERSION HERE

FEMALE VERSION HERE

TAG LIST: @x-uno

People were staring.

The worst part was, you weren’t sure who they were staring at, you or Lucifer. It could have easily been him since he was the King of Hell, and even those who didn’t immediately recognise him could sense the power he exuded. However, it was just as likely that they were looking at you and wondering who you were, and how you had managed to get their ruler to walk with you, especially since he wasn’t known for going out much.

Fortunately, when people saw Lucifer coming, they moved to the other side of the street, staring, whispering, taking pictures, but keeping a safe distance.

Lucifer was used to this kind of thing. He walked confidently, held a charming smile, and was generally non-plussed by the attention. You, on the other hand, felt awkward.

‘This was my idea,’ You mentally reminded yourself.

You tried to hold onto that thought as you attempted to strike up a conversation.

“So… What’s it like in the Embassy building?” You asked, quickly realising that it was a terrible topic as Lucifer’s smile became a glower.

You shouldn’t have reminded him where he was going. It was obvious he hated Heaven for their treatment of him, yet yearned for it and the life he had lost within its pearly gates where nothing went wrong for anyone.

“Sorry,” You said hurriedly. “I didn’t think- uh, nice weather we’re having?”

Lucifer smiled and shook his head. He couldn’t believe you. Only the night before, you had told him to grow up, with such confidence, and now here you were struggling for words. He bypassed the awkward situation with ease by asking, “Will you be visiting the Hotel today?”

“Oh, uh… Maybe. I would like to see everyone again. Check that Nifty hasn’t set anything on fire. Make sure that everything’s okay, and-”

You had been about to mention Angel Dust. Today was one of his work days. You would like to check that he was okay. You didn’t mention him however, with something like a confidentiality clause stopping you, though you weren’t his doctor, nor was he your patient. You didn’t want to talk about his suffering; he was more than his trauma.

Instead, you said, “I would like to check in, but maybe not today. Besides, you’ll be there tonight, won’t you?”

“Yes. I’d like to deliver the news to Charlie personally, and perhaps coach her on some of Heaven’s stricter rules.”

“Then, I think I’ll stay at the manor. I wouldn’t want to step on your toes. You and Charlie- I think you need to catch up a bit, without any interruptions. She missed you, you know.”

Lucifer ruminated on this for a minute. Whatever your motivations, he was glad that you were giving him and his daughter some space. Granted, the Hotel was large enough to house many conversations in separate areas but by making the offer of keeping your distance, you were giving Lucifer some breathing room; that was good.

Had you not made that offer, Lucifer might have brought up the topic of moving you back into the Hotel to Charlie, but in respecting his boundaries, Lucifer was starting to think that you weren’t so bad… for a Sinner.

“I missed her too.”

“Can I ask,” You said hesitantly, “What kept you away so long? You clearly think the world of her.”

Lucifer sighed, and stopped in the middle of the street, “I-”

He didn’t get to explain his absence.

Instead, he became annoyed as two Sinners, one who looked like a nine-year-old boy’s dream with bazooka arms and rocket-infused shoulders, and the other a winged bear-woman wielding a machine gun burst through the building on the opposite side of the road, waging war upon one another.

“SHIT!” You cursed, seeing the debris that threatened to crush a lone imp who hadn’t reacted quickly enough, his leg trapped under the first brick segment that fell.

Reacting quickly, you threw out your arms. A light green barrier shielded the imp from further harm, but you struggled under the weight of so much wreckage.

“MOXXIE!” A female imp yelled, running to him.

You thought she might struggle to lift the wreckage off him and were about to ask for Lucifer’s help before your barrier would inevitably crumble. Yet, the female imp was stronger than she appeared and she threw it off Moxxie. She then lifted him bridal style, and ran from the danger, shooting you a grateful look from across the street.

You gasped and shuddered as you let your arms fall, your barrier fading from existence.

“You shouldn’t have bothered,” Lucifer said as you straightened up.

“What?” You breathed heavily, recovering from the exertion; one of the weakest Demons in Hell, with your limited abilities.

“It was a nice thing to do, but what’s the point? Look around,” Lucifer threw his arms up dramatically. “Someone built something nice, and now it’s gone, all because two Sinners couldn’t take their petty power struggle somewhere else. Nobody benefits from this.”

You opened your mouth to argue but were interrupted by the same two imps you had just saved, “Hey there, I’m pretty sure my husband is delirious right now, but he wanted to come over here.”

“I’m not delirious, Millie,” Moxxie said pointedly, clinging onto her shoulder to support his weight; his leg was in all likeliness broken, but being an imp of Hell, it would heal quickly enough.

Millie looked at him sympathetically, likely thinking something along the lines of, ‘Baby, we’re the only ones on the same side of the street as His Majesty, but do what you gotta do!’

“I must thank you most humbly for your remarkable rescue in my name, good Demon,” Moxxie exclaimed pompously, probably presuming that since you were accompanied by Lucifer you were of a much higher station than you were. “Without you, I would certainly have perished, so I find it an appropriate time to extend my gratitude.”

“He means thank you,” Millie affectionately translated.

“You’re welcome,” You smiled. Then, with a small flourish of your fingers, Moxxie leg was bandaged and he was provided with a crutch to hold onto. You were no healer, but that would help the bone set correctly.

Moxxie and Millie thanked you both again, presuming that Lucifer had been part of the rescue (and in a way he was, for when the warring Demons saw him, they took their battle elsewhere), then they were gone, one limping down the street on his new crutch, and his wife offering to carry him.

“You’re wrong,” You said, once the pair were out of sight. “They benefitted.”

Lucifer didn’t know what to say about that. They were only imps. Why did you think they mattered? Yet, after watching the loving couple thank you for their rescue, Lucifer wasn’t certain that he trusted his assessment of the situation. Charlie wanted to redeem Sinners, you had just saved the lowest of all Hell’s beings and he…? He needed to reassess how he thought about things.

The two of you didn’t speak after that and Lucifer assumed that you were mad at him until you reached Heaven’s Embassy. Lucifer stared at the building, broken and hopeless, thinking about how he would have to fight for Charlie.

He was about to take the first step towards it when you rested your hand on his shoulder.

He stared at you, surprised.

“Good luck,” You proffered sympathetically. Then you walked away, and Lucifer was left staring after you. So, you weren’t mad at him after all. What a curious person you were.

He looked back to the building before him, the one place in Hell that was perfectly pristine, and unable to be harmed by anyone. After a deep breath, he headed inside.

When Lucifer returned home, he was exhausted. The meeting had been lengthy and derogatory. He had been treated with barely disguised disdain and talked in circles, but finally, Heaven had agreed to allow his daughter passage to Heaven.

It was never an option really. As the ruler of a powerful realm, Lucifer had to be treated respectfully, even if all of Heaven hated him. Yet, just because they had to acquiesce to his request didn’t mean they hadn’t tried to talk him out of it. The only good news was that it had been Sera and a few of her assistants who hosted the meeting, not that ignorant prick Adam; Lucifer hated that guy… though his taste in women had always been spectacular.

Still, it had all been worth it when he got to the hotel and Charlie thanked him and invited him to stay for a while. They had caught up over tea, and he had gotten to know a little bit more about her and her relationship with Vaggie. Lucifer likely would have stayed longer seeing as he’d also been invited to games night, but then that red-headed bastard was there, grinning like a Cheshire Cat, and Lucifer had made his reasons to leave.

Now, all he wanted was to recover in peace.

On his way upstairs, he heard the long-neglected TV blaring in one of the living rooms. Feeling somewhat guilty about his unsupportive attitude towards you earlier, he decided it would probably be good for him to make amends and apologise. So, before isolating himself for the evening, he sought you out.  

You were hunched on the sofa, watching 666 News, and grimacing at the new headline, King of Hell’s New Fuckbuddy.

Lucifer stood quietly behind you, watching as Katie Killjoy reported, “While Hell will be royally fucked by the impending extermination it seems that King of Hell Lucifer is being royally fucked by his new bimbo bitch, seen walking with him today on the streets of Pentagram City.”

Security camera footage of you and Lucifer from earlier filled the screen for a minute before returning to the hosts.

“Who is this Sinner? Does Lucifer get off on Angelic clothing? We hope to find out more soon. Over to you, Tom.”

Tom Trench continued the report, much less assuredly than his co-anchor, “Nobody can say for certain they’re together. Some speculate the Demon to be his highness’ new assistant or-”

Katie clutched Tom’s neck in one hand, never looking away from the camera as she cut off his air supply, “Nobody gives a shit about your limp-dick opinion Tom. We’re all here to speculate about who’s raw-dogging who. Now, onto our cooking segment, It’s Dahm Good, with host Jeffrey who is making a delicious spleen soufflé. Jeffrey-”

“HA!” Lucifer laughed, pointing at the TV.

“Shit!” You yelped, lurching forward, having not known he’d returned home. You turned the TV off and stood to face Lucifer.

He was doubled over and wheezing at the idea that you and he would ever be together.

“Well, at least you’re not upset about this,” You grinned, finding his good mood contagious.

“What morons. They’re always just there, assuming the weirdest shit whenever I go out,” He laughed.  

“Yeah? So, it’s okay people know we’re friends?”

Lucifer straightened up with a smile. So, you classed him as a friend? He didn’t confirm or deny your assumption of friendship. He waved his hand, unbothered, “Let them think what they want to think. It’s Hell, nothing matters. Besides, 666 News is trash.”

“Yeah, you’re right. So, how did the meeting with Heaven go? Did they agree to meet with Charlie?”

Lucifer sobered up slightly, though he didn’t seem as upset as he was earlier when Heaven was mentioned, “Yes. The meeting’s in a week. Charlie is- She’s optimistic.”

“And you?”

“I- My girl can handle it.”

“Yeah, she can.”

And so it was that you and Lucifer started to find some common ground, that slowly built the gap from two people who barely knew one another, towards friends.

[khadgarbignaturals]

things that have happened of note during the first play session of me and my friend’s bg3 pacifist challenge run:

1) we immediately forgot and killed 2 imps in the first encounter

2) my friend forgot to not kill the cultists with the console on the mind flayer ship, so we just pretended they were already dead

3) our attempts to free laezel without bloodshed went about as badly as they could’ve, causing us to have to knock all parties involved unconscious

4) we were unable to stop wyll and the tieflings from killing the goblins so we just tried to knock out as many as we could

5) we discovered fighting undead is great bc they’re already dead so we can decommission them without it counting as a kill

6) learned that ranged attacks and spells are useless for knocking people out as they ignore non-lethal damage and outright kill ppl (sorry goblin)

7) every party member is dressed in incredibly slutty clothes except astarion who is dressed extremely modestly. this isn’t important to the challenge but it is important to me

i’ll keep updating this as we play

[leaderpinhead]

Sam - Blank Space

“Welcome, little imps!” Sam boisterously greeted with an exuberant wave of his hand. “To celebrate the new school year, I’ve got all kinds of deals. Buy two sets of pens, and I’ll give you a set of ink refills for free! Three for one on all notebooks—any size, style, and shape! Need help aids for the first round of the Cooking Crucible? I’ve got all you need and more! Now, what are you looking for, little imp?” 

The little imp blinked up at Sam like he was still attempting to decipher what he heard. The monster feline standing at his knee looked just as lost. “Whata, whata, whata? You need all that to become a great mage? No one told me that!” 

Sam chuckled. He caught one of his shadows out of the corner of his eye carefully blending in with the young student’s shadow. “But of course! To become a great mage, you have to be fully prepared. That means taking excellent notes in class. Speaking of notes, when you spend fifteen thaumarks or more, I’ll throw in a bonus pad of sticky notes for only three thaumarks!” 

The monster muttered and rubbed its ears like a distressed chipmunk. Still blinking and with an expression as flat as a smooth river stone, the young student held out a slip of paper to Sam. Sam hummed and accepted the paper. He immediately recognized the chicken scratch known as Crowley’s signature. With a bit of practiced decoding, he was able to make out the headmage’s blasé instructions to put the Ramshackle prefect’s school supplies on the college’s tab. 

Sam hummed and tucked the note into the pocket of his apron. His smile remained in place, but he cast a critical eye over the boy: a scrawny little thing whose hand-me-down uniform engulfed his tiny form. Sam imagined he could easily be taken by the wind like a wisp of smoke from the end of a cigarette. He hadn’t been present during the opening ceremonies like the rest of the campus staff, but he had heard of the new magicless prefect all the same. 

Some quick calculations said he wouldn’t profit much off the Ramshackle prefect alone. But with the school footing the bill for the time being? There was opportunity there. Sam cast his arm in a broad sweep around the Mystery Shop. “Help yourself, little imp! Just bring all the items you find to the register once you’re done, and we’ll place it on the college’s tab.” 

The prefect solemnly nodded and shuffled towards the nearest bin. The monster cat teetered after him, still rubbing its ears. Sam made to look like he had returned to the shelf he was sorting, but he kept the prefect in the corner of his eye. He was fully confident his shadows would alert him if the boy tried anything funny—like attempting to pocket a small snack or damage an item for an even steeper discount—but he was admittedly curious. It wasn’t everyday a person seemingly appeared from another dimension, let alone be allowed to attend an arcane academy when he didn’t possess a lick of magic. The monster cat alone would have been enough to make a man curious! 

A cool touch on his ankle signaled one of his shadows slinking up his leg. The sensation slid up his torso to settle on his shoulder. He tipped his head to hear it relay the conversation behind him. 

“Why are there so many sizes?” the monster cat complained. From the corner of Sam’s eye, he watched the monster climb into the bin and start flipping through notebooks. “And what’s the difference between the ones with the metal spiral and the ones stitched together? What the—why does this one have lines on the paper and the other one have tiny squares? This is why you humans have such a hard time learning anything!” 

“Hush, Grim,” the prefect answered. “Just pick a few you like the most. We need at least six for each class.” 

“Six?” Coming from Grim, the number sounded outrageous. “Six notebooks? Why do we need so many? Can't we just use the same one for each class?” 

“Professor Crewel suggested it when I asked him about supplies.” The prefect rummaged around the bin a bit, pulling a few notebooks out to carefully stack on the corner of the bin. The shadows made a little buzz as they attempted to decipher the theme drawing the prefect’s attention the most, whether it be color, design, or a combination of other factors. They would later relay the information they obtained to Sam, who would use it to cater products more efficiently to the boy the next time he visited the shop. “He said it would be better to keep our notes for each class separate. That way when exams roll around, our notes will be organized and make studying easier.” 

“Study?” Grim blew a loud raspberry. Regardless of his attitude, he placed a smaller notebook on the stack. It had a pattern of fish on the cover, which the shadows quickly deciphered as his aesthetic when he found two more fish themed notebooks of different sizes. “The Great Grim doesn’t need to study. I’ll absorb everything right there in class!” 

The prefect hummed. He shuffled through the notebooks he had found and began systematically placing them back into the bin. The conversation stuttered while the shadows attempted to decipher his process of elimination, finding it odd he would keep one notebook of similar size, design, and color but toss two more back in the bin. He replaced them with notebooks that were completely different—one that was spiral bound with a colorful floral pattern and lined paper and another one half the size with a monochromatic geometric pattern and graphing paper. 

He held them up for Grim to view. “Pick one.” 

Grim’s paw slapped the monochromatic notebook. “I’m not about to be caught dead with the flower one.” 

Sam quickly realized what was happening when the prefect systematically held up two more notebooks for Grim to choose one. The magicless human was catering entirely to the monster. The shadows nearly had a conniption fit when they too realized what was happening. 

What was this human doing? 

Wasn’t she aware she could have anything at the expense of the school? 

Why pander to a loudmouth monster? 

The shadows collectively buzzed like his own thoughts bouncing from one topic to another. Sam blinked as he caught the other shadows lingering in the store converge on the front area, curiously disgruntled by the prefect’s methods. Sam had never seen them behave in such a manner. 

“How many pens do we need?” Grim asked. The duo had moved to a shelf next to the bin, the prefect cradling the notebooks in his arms. Grim tried to grab one of the loose pens from an open container but quickly became disgruntled when it slipped between his small little toes. “I can’t even hold it! You take care of these, hench-human! I’m going to look at the sticky notes.” 

Grim waddled off to bat at the shelf of sticky notes. The prefect stared at the bins of pens and pencils, his expression flat and a glazed look in his eyes. Sam was shocked with how silent the shadows became, and he glanced around to find most of them hiding in the closest corners just watching the prefect. 

The prefect moved towards one bin: mechanical neon green pencils. The shadow in his ear summarized the other items in the shop that matched that style. They could match those items together and spin a good deal that would have Sam making a profit. 

They screamed when the prefect continued plucking from the bins. Neon mechanical pencils, soft-grip pens, animal print wooden pencils, fancy fountain pens—the prefect took one each and moved on to the next section of supplies, where he took one of each again. 

What is this girl’s plan?” 

Why does she keep picking up everything? 

It’s like she doesn’t even care! 

Sam was so enthralled with his shadowy friends growing more and more agitated that he almost missed Grim returning to the prefect’s side. “Yuu!” Grim held a stack of three tuna cans above his head. “I found the good stuff! Let’s leave now.” 

Yuu stared down at the cans, his arms too full for him to take the cans from Grim. The glaze across his brown eyes lifted, eyes brightening with a hint of hazel gold. “Is that the same kind the headmage gave us?” 

“Even better.” Grim dropped the cans on the floor so he could show off the label. “It’s got a golden sticker, so it’s gotta be even better!” 

“I’m getting the impression you’ll eat anything with a fish on it.” 

“You just don’t understand the finer things of life,” Grim argued. He quickly snatched up the other cans and marched towards the register. “If I wasn’t around, you’d eat nothing but rice!” 

“It’s filling,” Yuu said. He glanced around the school supplies, eyes not lingering on anything in particular. He followed Grim to the register. “At least I’m not stealing food off of other people’s plates.” 

“I’m making sure nothing goes to waste!” Grim reached the counter and did a little spin. “Where’s the weird shop guy?” 

“Grim.” 

“What? He called us imps!” 

With a shake of his head, Sam dropped his pretense of straightening shelves and stepped behind the counter. The shadows continued to be uncharacteristically chatty, which made it a little more difficult than usual for Sam to keep his attention on his customers. “Find everything you desired, little imps?” 

Grim huffed and looked up at Yuu. Yuu shrugged. “I think we did.” He dumped his large pile of mismatched items on the counter. “Better safe than sorry.” 

Nothing matches. 

It’s all different. 

The human girl is a blank slate. 

Blank slate? Sam thought to himself. What an odd sentiment for his friends to conclude. They had never appeared so frustrated at another customer. He went through the motions of tallying up all the items, cheerfully relaying the amount would be placed on the college’s tab. Yuu accepted the bags Sam handed him, but he didn’t move to leave. 

“Grim.” It was the first time Yuu’s tone had changed since they had stepped through the door. He sounded almost chiding. “Give him your cans.” 

“What? Crowley owes me these cans!” 

“Crowley gave us the tuna he promised,” Yuu said. He held his hand out to Grim. “We have to pay for those.” 

Grim huffed and allowed Yuu to take the cans from him. The prefect carefully stacked the cans in front of Sam. His expression was somehow expectant and completely blank at the same time. “I would like to purchase these as well.” 

Sam scratched his hairline beneath his hat. He played off the unsettled feeling rubbing off on him thanks to the shadows huddled behind him still whispering. “If you throw in one more can, you can buy a bag of rice half-off.” 

It was a bit of a gamble, but he figured it was a potential deal considering what he had overheard. It was better than trying to sell another notebook to the prefect. Yuu barely batted an eye. “No, thanks. We’ll just stick to these three cans for now. I think I have enough thaumarks to cover them.” 

Yuu pulled a small wad of thaumarks from his pocket. He quietly counted out the bills three times before handing them to Sam. Sam accepted then and gave Yuu the appropriate change. He was intrigued by the fact the prefect didn’t try to add it to Crowley’s tab. There weren’t many students on the campus who wouldn’t take advantage of saving their money. 

Yuu gave him a solemn nod when he accepted the bag of tuna cans. He dropped the bag into Grim’s arms, and they left the shop with Grim bragging about his spoils. 

The shadows barely waited for them to leave before swarming Sam. Sam waved them down. “Settle down now! I know you're usually spot on when it comes to feeling someone out, but we all have our off-days. It looks like the Ramshackle imps are here to stay. We’ll figure out what really makes them tick.” 

The shadows kept muttering with one another, but another student walking into the shop sent them scattering back to their usual positions. Only when the buzz of their voices were gone and Sam was fully left again to his own thoughts did he realize his friends kept referring to the prefect as a girl. With a small grin, Sam wondered if that might be why his shadowy friends were in such a huff. Only time would tell. 

[12angrypears]

Obama, Trump, and Biden play SBURB:

i can’t believe this is my first attempt at homestuck fanfiction:

—————————————

Obama: Alright guys, let’s be careful with our kernelsprite. We don’t know what it’s for yet and—

Trump: Barack, everyone knows what we do with a kernelsprite. We prototype it and get a guide. [tosses American flag]

USprite: [chitters patriotically]

Trump: Now that’s a good, honest hard-working American sprite. thats what this game needs.

Obama: Donald what the hell did you do.

Trump: I prototyped the kernelsprite.

Biden: hey guys there’s some weird looking African Americans out here waving American flags.

Trump: Look Barack, I told you I was popular with minorities. Even Sleepy Joe thinks so.

Obama: I don’t— Joe what are you doing? Not everything with black skin is African American. I don’t think those are even human.

Trump: Oh, so when I say I don’t see color—

Obama: Shut the fuck up or I’ll prototype you in the damn kernelsprite.

USprite: [chitters patriotically]

Biden: Hey I think they’re doing something—

Trump: Maybe you should prototype me! Can you imagine how amazing—and I’ve seen a lot of amazing things in my life other than myself—how incredible of a sprite I would be?

Obama: Oh my god.

Trump: No, no, hear me out. What this session needs is some good old Uncle Sam, and I can’t hardly—you probably can’t either—hardly imagine anyone better for it than the president of the United States of America.

Obama: Former president.

Trump: Former this and former that. Why don’t we focus on—

Obama: I can’t believe we destroyed the White House for this.

Biden: [muffled thud] Oh my god.

Trump: There goes Sleepy Joe falling down the stairs. You’d rather prototype him for our Uncle Sam project?

Obama: I don’t want to prototype anyone until we know what—

Biden: these African Americans are full of grist

Obama: Imps, Joe, just call them imps.

Trump: You want a president with grist? If you—when you put me in that kernelsprite, you’ll never believe how much grist I can bring to the citizens of this great country.

Obama: Grift, you’re a grifter Donald. What the hell is grist?

Biden: Holy shit!

[Bathtub crashes through the ceiling onto USprite]

Biden: Sorry guys, I guess I ran out.

AMERITUBSPRITE: God bless the US— [flushing noises]