#I’ll make a second post on Kei’s relationships with some of the cast!

[vaporvipermedia]

Kei Yoshihiko Revamp🔎🗝️

[Ramshackle Dorm]

Bio

Name: Kei Yoshihiko (He/She)

Birthday: September 30th

Age: 18

Height: 167 cm(5’6)

Dominate Hand: Right

Homeland: Canada 

Family:

Ida Yoshihiko (Mother)

Yoshinori Yoshihiko (Father)

Unnamed Aunts

Unnamed Grandmother

School

Grade: Freshman

Class: Class A(No.23)

Club: Gargoyle Research Society 

Kei joined this Club once he started to bond more with Malleus. Even though this was something he wasn’t used to, Kei still wanted to support his prince fan to listen to his interesting facts and ramblings.

Best Subject: History of Magic

Originally Kei took this class simply due to her being completely new to Twisted Wonderland. Ever since her first lesson on this subject, Kei studied up in the college library to get a better hold of the magic system of this world. Even coming across mentions of enchanted tools that piqued this detective’s interest more.

Preferences

Hobbies: Ballet and Waltzing

Took up dancing classes at a young age after his classmates’ parents complained about Kei’s behavior. He would often tell kids infamous murder mysteries during conversations and psychoanalyze kids around him to the point they regret talking to Kei.

“Your child should be more ladylike and talk about dolls or dresses! Not this disturbing foolishness! Put her in some dancing classes or something. Maybe that will take her mind off of that crap.”

At first Kei’s parents ignored the parent’s blatant screeching. They didn’t want to force their kid into doing something she wasn’t comfortable with. But Kei on the other hand agreed with the angered parents and decided to take these classes.

The last thing she wanted was her parents to get in trouble because of her actions.

Pet Peeves: People being difficult when he asks a simple question

“ I asked a question and I expect an answer. The last thing I need is your attitude…I’m not patient enough for back talk.”

Favorite Food: Okonomiyaki

Least Favorite Food: Mushrooms

Talent: Psychoanalyzing people

Kei’s Inventory 

Magnifying Glass:

At first, this was just an ordinary tool used by Kei during his investigations. But thanks to Crowley enchanting the Magnifying Glass for his future cases, Kei can now detect other’s fingerprints and remnants of footprints through this magical lense.

Seeker’s Will:

This was originally Crowley’s infamous weapon “The Whip of Love.” But since he barely even used it Kei decided to take ownership of it. Crowley even changed the design and gave it a different enchantment from the original one. Kei needed to protect himself since NRC is well…NRC. 

Utility Belt:

A belt that Kei wears to carry his most important tools. From Seeker’s Will to his Magnifying Glass. Kei found this belt while exploring the different rooms in Ramshackle.

Notepad:

A notepad that was transported with Kei when she arrived at NRC. Containing all the old notes she was hiding away in her old bedroom.

Ghost Camera:

Kei uses the Ghost Camera mostly for crime scene purposes so she can take pictures of scenery that might be relevant to her case. But whenever a special event occurs in her friend group, she often snaps a few for memories sake. Just to look back on if she ever does find a way back home.

Heart-Shaped Locket:

A locket from Kei’s childhood that has a picture inside he still holds on to this very day. Often gets tense when people touch it.

Briefcase:

Another item transported with Kei to Twisted Wonderland. It holds different newspaper articles about the disappearances and even some of Ida’s findings on that case.

Background

Kei Yoshihiko is an aspiring detective who is desperate to solve the case of his mother's disappearance, Ida Yoshihiko. Before she went missing, his mother was a journalist who wrote articles about strange disappearances in the city where they lived. But there was always something strange about Ida’s actions that Kei found interesting; whenever he went inside Ida’s room to check on her, he would always find sketches of a black horse carriage and notes about dreams she had about a magical mirror beckoning her to come to another world.

Kei gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed she was just getting sleep deprived from the story she’s reporting on. But when her mother went missing the next day, Kei's father, Detective Yoshinori, jumped right into the investigation. Kei wanted to help with the case, but her father didn't want her to get in the way, so he quickly shut her down. Which really just made Kei feel absolutely useless in that moment. She couldn’t help find her own mother’s whereabouts simply because she wasn't qualified. Nothing but a glorified distraction in her mind.

He knows Yoshinori didn’t mean to make him feel this way, it was just his inner thoughts getting the best of him during this stressful situation. But that didn't stop Kei from finding out the truth. He took Ida's notes, drawings, drafts & began trying to figure out if they had anything to do with her sudden departure. After coming to a dead end, he decided to rest and continue his “investigation” the next day.

That night, however, Kei had a dream about a talking mirror. The mirror reflected a hand in its frame, beckoning him to approach it. Realizing that her mother's notes were correct, She stomps towards the mirror to yell at the possible cause of her mother’s disappearance. Only to wake up in a dark floating coffin with a feisty cat outside attempting to steal his newly acquired uniform.

Now stuck in the world of Twisted Wonderland, it is now Kei's goal to discover the secrets of  NRC while also attempting to determine whether or not his mother vanished in the world he has now found himself entangled in.

Personality/Situation

From day one in this new world, Kei Yoshihiko said that he was a junior detective. That was a lie.

Kei is not a detective. Yes, he has the skills worthy of one but it’s not official. Coming here to a new world gave Kei the opportunity to strive for his dream. Even if it’s in a magical world. Maybe even be a help to others in NRC by solving cases.

Eventually she started to slowly feel miserable. After case after case she solved all of them. But, more kept coming in this hell hole of a school. Crowley was oh-so happy to pile a work load onto someone else for a change and luckily for him Kei was the perfect person to hand it off to.

Soon enough, Kei started to develop an Imposter Syndrome and acted differently to how she was in the beginning. In the prologue Kei was a confused mess who often let people walk over him like he did previously in his world.  Now in later chapters Kei has become more stern, mysterious and most importantly done with everything.

All she just wanted was to find her mother and leave this place. But of course, Crowley wasn’t doing his due diligence to help out Kei as much as she helped him. Leaving her having a disdain for the raven looking headmaster. Now she has to deal with cases, blots and finding a way back home. Which only makes her life even stressful.

But later on as he continues to live in the dingy Ramshackle dorms with his demanding cat Grim, he begins to realize that even if his treatment was grueling. He signed himself up for disaster in the first place. Lying about being a detective. Noticing that he is also at fault for his own well being.

Coming to terms with herself, she continued to solve cases and help out whenever she could to students in need of a mystery to solve. And so she could feel less useless to the people around her. In the end, Kei has grown bonds with different students and housewardens. Even got herself into a relationship. Which was a huge surprise to her as well. 

Even if Kei still acts stern and serious, he does have his soft moments with the main cast. Often being vulnerable to make them feel comfortable around him. Deep down he does this out of care even if it meant lying to others about his profession.

Kei knows that one day, she would eventually have to tell them the truth even if it would hurt her on the inside. She’s just waiting for the right moment. When will that moment come? Well that is a mystery soon to be solved.

Trivia

Whenever Kei gets annoyed or flustered she starts to speak Osaka-Ben. She picked up that speech from her father and relatives in Osaka.

Gets completely stubborn at the mention of sleep. Refusing to go rest until her work is fully complete.

Often prefers to work alone but over time Kei has gotten used to his company. 

Has been learning how to handle Seeker’s Will properly but is still at his beginner phase. Usually better at restraining people rather than attacking them.

Her parents helped dye her hair when she first turned 18

When Kei was a kid, she would often rummage through her dad’s files of different cases. Some of the gruesome pictures didn’t really affect Kei in her young state. Which just made her parents worried for a few months.

Is currently in a relationship with Rook. This was a surprise to Kei because he never believed that he could ever be in a relationship. Especially with someone like, well…him.

Bonus

Transparent and Nameless Ver.

Reblogs>Likes

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

raindrops fallin' down all over my love 

A/N: this is an older fic, originally posted back in July 2022. it was just a silly little birthday present for my soulmate @fightingdragonswithwho ♡

Summary: not everyone would find a surprise downpour to be a mood booster, but you do. 

Warnings: Spencer Reid x reader, fluff, bau!reader, rain, established relationship, kissing, wet clothes, wet shoes, allusion to sex

Word count: 1192

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

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“Y/n, come on, that’s enough for today,” Spencer walked up next to you and gently tugged the beige file from your grasp.

“Oh, come on! I was almost done reading that!” you whined, “can’t I take it with me back to the hotel?”

“Fine, but only if you promise not to touch it till the morning,” he stuffed it into his worn satchel, “I better not find you reading it in the middle of the night.”

Humming disappointedly, you squinted your eyes, “Hotch, Spencer’s being a party pooper. Can’t I just room with Morgan instead? I don’t think he cares as much about my work-life balance.”

Glancing over his shoulder, he ignored your plea and just spoke instead to the tall man walking beside you, “Reid, make sure she gets some rest, will you?”

“Yes sir,” Spencer replied and watched the stoic man open up the front door of the police station. The sound that caught your ears on the other side of those heavy doors made you instantly forget the counterargument your brain had already come up with. 

“Of course, it’s raining,” Hotch sighed.

“At least the hotel is only just around the corner,” Spencer tried as he watched his boss ultimately decide to just book it, leaving the two of you standing alone by the exit. 

Looking down at you, prepared to hold the papers in question under lock and key, he instead just saw nothing but pure bliss engulf your features. 

“It’s raining,” you beamed, hitting him in the arm excitedly, before darting out into the storm. Standing in the middle of the dead street, you cast out your arms and tilted your head back, letting it all soak in. Welcoming with open arms the wet dots that littered your clothing and quickly altered your whole outfit into a much darker shade. Twirling around you shouted, repeating the same observation to your boyfriend who was comfortably standing there, admiring you from the doorway, “it’s raining!”

“It is,” he smiled, watching you get right up next to a large puddle, taking a moment to behold the many mesmerising rings that kept appearing in it, before looking up again at Spencer, now with a bit of a frown on your face.

“I don’t remember, is there a spare pair of shoes in my go bag?”

“Yes, the black ones.”

Merely walking out here in this weather for a second would drench you to the bone, so you might as well take advantage of it and fill your inner child with joy. 

Squealing, you jumped into the puddle, splashing water everywhere. 

“Come on Spencer!” you kicked your foot through the small pool. 

“I’m good right here.”

“What, are you gonna sleep at the station?” you joked, walking back up onto the sidewalk.

Glaring up at the dark sky, “maybe, yeah.”

“You’re just gonna let me walk back to the hotel all by my lonesome?”

Leaning against the doorframe, he snorted, “you’re an FBI agent.”

“So are you, but apparently there's a serial killer out on the loose and as we learned just a few hours ago, I fit his type a just little too well, so…” you let your head fall back, stuck out your tongue and welcomed in the feeling of the cool water droplets against it. 

Letting a huff out through his grin, he slowly walked out to grasp your hand.

“I don’t ever think I’ll completely comprehend your fascination with this weather,” he leaned down to give your lips a sweet kiss.

“It’s just so…” you mumbled against his lips, not even knowing the words to describe it, as he stole another quick one, “I don’t know why, but every time it rains, I’m 6 years old again and I feel so safe and innocent.”

Walking down the hotel hallway, your steps probably looked a bit goofy. Jumping in the deep puddle might have been fun, but the soaked shoes weren’t the nicest side effect to deal with, “I think I might get blisters if I don’t take these off now.”

Letting go of your hand, he turned his back to you and lowered himself a bit, “hop on.”

Not giving him a moment to change his mind, you jumped up on his back, clinging onto his sopping woollen jacket.

Grinning, you buried your face in the crook of his neck, feeling a flutter in your stomach as he walked the last few feet to reach your hotel room. You knew he had you, this wasn't the first piggyback ride he’d given you. The first time he offered to lift your body in any form of the word, you refused and only agreed after he’s finished giving you a lecture on proper lifting technics, physics and how if something is closer to your body, it isn’t as heavy to lift. 

Stopping, he removed one of the palms that were tightly clasped under your bottom, in order to fish out the key card from his pocket and unlock the door. Swinging it open, crossing the threshold, he then gently sat you down again.

“Thanks for the ride,” you pushed some of the clinging hair off his forehead and out of his eyes, lightly tracing the prominent vein at his temple with your fingertip. 

“Anytime,” he closed the door behind you and moved a little closer, causing you to back up against it. With the feeling of his hands snaking around your waist, you couldn’t help but get carried away by the intimate bubble that he always had a way of creating around you with but a glance, “Y/n, I will carry you. If you need it or want it, I’ve got you.”

His fingers fiddled with the wet fabric of your coat, “but right now, I think we need to get you out of these clothes,” and with a gentle tug, you let it fall.

“Doctor Reid,” you glided your hands up around his neck, “are you trying to get me naked?”

“I’m trying to make sure you don’t get sick,” he slowly, painstakingly worked at the buttons of your shirt. Leaning in, close enough for your lips to touch, he never let them, hard as you tried, “you getting naked is just a nice bonus.”

Kicking your shoes off, you chuckled, “a nice bonus, huh?”

Opening up the last few buttons, he slipped his fingers under it, gliding over your bare sides, effectively sending a shiver down your spine.

“Yeah,” he breathed out, then finally kissed you hungerly. Rooting your fingers in a tight fist at the nape of his neck, you whimpered.

Sliding his palms down your body, gliding them over your ass, he then effortlessly scooped you up, instinctually wrapping your legs around his torso. Parting from your lips, he then moved down to your neck, focusing on that sweet spot where he could feel exactly the power he had over your pulse. 

“And what about me?” you fought to open your eyes, “do I get a nice bonus?”

“What,” he exhaled against your damp skin, “do you not want me to get sick either?” 

“No, I just want you to take your clothes off,” you smirked.

© 2022 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[venus-is-thinking]

A Narrative Defense of Eden Culprit Theory

Hello everyone! 

As I’m sure many of you know, I, among others (notably @accirax, @1moreff-creator and @thebadjoe) believe Eden to be the culprit of the Chapter 2 murder case. I’ve seen a fair number of people say they aren’t convinced for one reason or another. While I fully understand people who don’t buy all the evidence/the insane contraptions we’ve come up with or people who are in denial, I was a little surprised at how many people I saw say that it would be bad writing for Eden to be the killer here. 

While others are fully entitled to their opinions on who the killer is, I want to address this claim. Personally, whenever I’m reading a fangan, I always believe that I shouldn’t consider any killer to be “bad writing” until I see how it’s actually written. After all, there can always be a key twist you’re not expecting to make it actually make sense. Plus, in Eden’s case, I actually fully believe that all the building blocks of a narratively successful killer are already put into place. So, in this post, I’m going to attempt to back up my claim that Eden being the second killer actually makes narrative sense, and it isn’t bad writing either.

Because fangan writing is subjective and what any given author believes is the right move varies, I’ll be doing my best to support my claims with similar content from the canon game trilogy (given that that’s a pretty standard baseline) and from what we’ve already seen of DRDT thus far. That should (hopefully) give us some fair perspective into the sorts of narrative decisions the creator would want to make.

I’ll be going through various points at which I think something could or could not be bad writing, so hopefully that’ll provide some much needed structure to this theory.

Topic 1: Motive

I want to say this early: I do not think Eden is secretly evil. I think that in the context of killing games, “good” people can end up being killers, and I think that’s where Eden’s headed. I understand why, if some people have only seen Eden killer theories in the context of her being evil, they don’t like it. I don't like it either. I think it completely misinterprets her character.

For now, though, I want to talk about what motive she does have. There’s the fact that Arturo is threatening her, obviously. If she feels there’s a genuine threat to her safety, it would be decently reasonable to decide that, if her priority is her life, she’d rather try to get away with a murder than let herself be taken out by Arturo. 

There’s another potential motive out there for Eden that might be enough to push her over the edge. That being, we know she cares a lot about her friends and relationships outside of the killing game too. 

A lot of people, I think, have seen the theory floating around that goes “Eden is trying to leave to get back to the girl she kissed.” I’ve also seen it mentioned that this could be problematic, given that it could be saying “being gay = becoming a killer,” but I think there are several reasons why that doesn’t hold up.

First of all, we have a lot of canonically LGBT cast members. Nico is nonbinary, Whit is bisexual, and in the most recent Q&A, other characters such as Ace, Veronika and Eden herself were also all confirmed to be LGBT+. Given that Eden isn’t the “token gay character,” I think it’s a lot safer to make her a killer without sending the message “if you’re gay you’re a killer.” 

Secondly, I think that there’s more to Eden’s motive than just whoever that girl is. I think the girl will likely be part of it and be relevant, given that it’s Eden’s motive secret. Because it’s the Chapter 2 motive, the motive secrets should play into things in general. But, it’s not like that girl is the only one from Eden’s past that she cares about, right? 

Eden cares about her family, as we see in the scene where she talks to Levi. We know that Eden cares about her friends, as we clearly see within the killing game. We know that Eden cares about this girl. I think it’s safe to say that, for gay reasons or not, Eden has a lot of people she’d fight to get back to.

Rather than using her motive secret as the only way of justifying the “Eden wants to return to her previous life” motive, why don’t we look at other secret Eden content?

I’m talking about the secret quotes. I assume most people have heard about them by now, but basically, if you go to the characters’ profile pages on the main tumblr account and inspect elements, each character has a secret quote that you can find. Eden’s secret quote is “You can’t go back, no matter how hard you try.”

We haven’t really seen much of Eden trying to go back yet. I guess you could say that when she makes breakfast with Levi, she talks a lot about trying to get the group back together and back to normal, and that isn’t unrelated. Still, I think it makes a lot of sense if Eden is someone who’s focused on the past. After all, Eden’s talent is clockmaking. To the extent her talent influenced her personality/character themes, it seems like time is an important thing with her. Trying to turn back the clock and return to her life before the killing game would make a lot of sense thematically. 

I suspect that Eden’s secret quote relates to the fact that she tries to go back to her previous life by escaping the killing game. “No matter how hard you try” definitely sounds like she goes to pretty extreme lengths, but she still fails in the end. That would be when she’s caught as the blackened and executed; she never gets to go back. It’s precedented for secret quotes to directly relate to how characters died; both Min’s “I wanted to save you” and Arei’s “Because that’s what friends do” tie into the way in which they arrived at their death. I could definitely see it being the same for Eden.

Interestingly, there’s another reason to consider that Eden might be extra-motivated to leave the killing game. That point is that Eden has been shown to be the main person fighting against the killing game. For example, she and Hu brainstormed ways to deal with the Chapter 2 motive. 

That doesn’t really tell us anything though, right? It’s just trying to manage the killing game from within. That’s not it, though. It’s actually a repeated thing that Eden is constantly looking for ways to obstruct the killing game.

Even the plan to bore out the killing game, the one Veronika tells us couldn’t work because she’d get too horribly bored, originally came from Eden. I fully believe that there’s a reason we’re being told every other scene that Eden is working towards ending the killing game is that Eden has extra incentive to want the killing game to end, and that’s to try to return to the life and loved ones she left behind.

I also think it’s worth mentioning that, in the canon games, every single second killer commits their crime due to previous attachments that go beyond the killing game. Mondo kills because of the promise he made to his now-dead brother Daiya, Peko kills because of her allegiance to Fuyuhiko, who wants Mahiru dead due to the death of his sister Natsumi, and Kirumi kills because she’s actually the Prime Minister and needs to get back to her duties. Hell, Ryoma is even Kirumi’s victim because he doesn’t have previous outside attachments, which makes him feel like a more understandable victim for her crime. If you throw in “Eden has a lot of meaningful relationships back home and, here in the killing game, she misses them so badly that she’d kill to go back,” I don’t think it feels out of place. 

This is pretty niche, but there’s also something I want to look at in relation to Xander and Min. Notably, the pinned comments by the official account in their bonus episodes. 

Xander’s is “Someone who wants to hold onto the past.” Min’s is “Someone who wants to move on from the past.” While this trend doesn’t have to keep up, I think it would be interesting if every killer/victim pair had one of each. Arei pretty clearly wants to move on from the past where her sisters and classmates ruthlessly bullied her. Eden wants to hold onto it, hoping to return, but she can’t go back, no matter how hard she tries. Just an interesting thing to point out.

But Eden’s motive isn’t the only thing stopping people from believing she’d be a reasonable killer, right? There are other things to consider, too.

Topic 2: Story Arc

To be clear here, “Story Arc” refers to how Eden fits into the larger narrative and story of DRDT. I’ll be talking about her individual story and growth later on in the section labeled “Character Arc.” 

For the most part, the larger narrative, at present, seems to be relating to Teruko and how she navigates her trust and relationships with everyone else. Eden is certainly a key factor in that, given that Teruko has basically acknowledged that outright. 

Teruko actively tries to avoid being friends with Eden, given the fact that she’s very nice and it’d be easy for Teruko to be friends with her. To Teruko, that means she’d be opening up the door to get hurt to easily when Eden inevitably dies and/or betrays her. Wouldn’t it only be proving Teruko right if Eden were to become a killer?

Yeah. It would. And that’s the point at the story we’re at. 

I don’t think it would make any sense for Teruko’s beliefs to be strongly challenged in Chapter 2. Like, at some point, I’m sure Teruko will figure out why it’s a problem to not trust anyone. After all, her secret quote is “It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all.” However, at this point in the story, things are going as she expects.

Think about it this way. Teruko believes that trusting people is opening yourself up for betrayal, and those who she gets close to will betray her and die. Let’s go through the people who have died so far, one by one, and see how they match up against that.

Xander: Was Teruko’s closest friend. Betrayed her by trying to kill her, then died. Check. Min: Was Teruko’s biggest supporter after she got stabbed. Betrayed her by actually being the killer, then died. Check. Arei: Previously shared Teruko’s worldview that being nice will just screw you over. Opened up and became friends. Had that friendship used against her to kill her. Check.

It definitely seems like, thus far, we’re validating Teruko’s worldview, basically as much as possible. No killer would validate her worldview more than Eden. That would make Arei an even closer parallel to Teruko (the person who she most tried to befriend was the one who tried to kill her in the end), and it would introduce another would-be friend as a killer.

Eden: Was Teruko’s biggest supporter after the first class trial. Betrayed her by being the second killer, then died. 

It looks an awful lot like Min’s, right?

In a more predictive sense, there’s also the popular theory that Charles will be one of the Chapter 3 victims. If that holds true, it’ll be another example in the same wavelength.

Charles: Was more like Teruko and didn’t trust people, avoiding them to stay safe. After rejoining the group and beginning to trust people, he died.

If that prediction is right, it’d mean that the trend continues past the point of the second victim to the point of a third victim, which would mean that the second killer would likely fit into the pattern.

But that’s a whole lot of my opinion, right? After all, maybe Levi or someone who isn’t particularly related to Teruko is the killer, so Teruko stays mostly the same, too. 

I do want to take a moment to acknowledge a bigger critique of this. It’s possible that some people might say that Eden killing here would be too repetitive in regards to Min and Xander. There are some key differences, though. 

Eden was Teruko’s friend after she started being mean and closed off to everyone. Min and Xander never really got the chance to react too much to Teruko’s antagonistic antics because they died before she was really pushing people away. That means it would carry more significance. Teruko has also spent more time with Eden, so their relationship is a little bit more developed. Eden is also someone that Teruko actively tried not to get close to before she killed, which wasn’t true of Xander or Min. 

Plus, I’d argue that it’s also supposed to feel a bit repetitive. This is what happens to Teruko, all the time. This is her life. It makes it feel more real and understandable how she reacts to Xander and Min if we as the audience begin to see and understand, oh, it really is like this every single time. 

Besides all of that, though, there are a few more thoughts that lead me to believe that someone closer to Teruko might be the killer this time around.

One of the biggest points in favor of this interpretation is the MonoCredits. 

MonoCredits are introduced in the scene where MonoTV asks Teruko to caulk the bathrooms. Then, she immediately uses one in the next scene where Charles is confronting her about her more antagonistic ways. At first glance, it seems like MonoCredits may have been introduced solely for that Charles interaction, and as a reason to plausibly get Teruko to help MonoTV out so that she could talk to it, too. However…

MonoTV gave Teruko two MonoCredits. That means she still has one. I wouldn’t blame you at all if you forgot this small detail– and that’s part of why I think the killer will be closer to Teruko. 

MonoCredits, and the fact that Teruko received two instead of one, are a pretty unimportant detail. I wouldn’t expect the creator to necessarily expect the audience to remember that Teruko still has one once we get to, like, the Chapter 4 daily life. I think that, because of that, Teruko will probably end up using this second one sometime soon, so that the audience will have that “oh yeah!” moment when it comes up, rather than an “oh… I kind of remember that…?” moment. 

There’s a very specific scenario in which I think Teruko might use it, too.

It’s pretty specific, but it’s already happened once, right? I think the most plausible situation for Teruko to use the second MonoCredit, if I’m right about it being this chapter, would be if she ends up in a similar situation before the execution again.

I can totally imagine Eden hugging Teruko and apologizing for betraying her trust, and Teruko, in the middle of freaking out, tells MonoTV she’s using a MonoCredit to get Eden away from her, which would then immediately launch into Eden being executed.

I think that could also be the right kind of push on Teruko’s character arc; her desire to get away from Eden led to Eden dying that much faster. It’d be something that could haunt Teruko a little bit and make her start thinking about how she pushes people away and what the potential failings of that are. 

The final reason I have is just, like… overall despair. Chapter 2 is usually a pretty emotionally devastating case for the cast. Taka loses Mondo and Chihiro meets a pretty tragic end; Peko dying launches Fuyuhiko into his grief → survivor arc while Hiyoko mourns Mahiru; Kirumi leaves the group feeling guilty about killing the Prime Minister, plus Ryoma’s death as a result of him loving no one and no one loving him is pretty sad. Chapter 2 is typically a chapter in the canon Danganronpa games where things get worse, not better. 

Then, Chapter 3 is used as a processing point where characters that aren’t in it for the long run are usually killed off, and Chapter 4 prompts the characters to start really moving towards the finale (Sakura’s death spurs people to want to fight and makes Byakuya realize why emotions are important, Gundham’s sacrifice sets the tone for Nagito’s insane Chapter 5 play and Gonta’s mercy kill in Chapter 4 directly leads into all the Kokichi “I’m the mastermind” stuff that happens in Chapter 5). 

I suspect DRDT will follow a roughly similar pattern. Because of that, it would make sense if the creator wants to pick a very emotionally devastating second killer, frequently due to the relationships that character has with the cast. Eden is the perfect pick for this position.

Eden has also gotten A LOT of focus this chapter. Getting focus doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to die right then. After all, Charles, for instance, got a lot of focus in Chapter 1, but he’s still alive. It’s difficult to tell when a character is getting content that impacts their character moving forward and when a character is getting focus because their story is about to end. 

In DRDT’s case specifically, though, the creator seems to heavily emphasize a character shortly before they die. Excluding Teruko, Xander was the most visible character in the Chapter 1 daily life. They focused on Min heavily during the Chapter 1 investigation to make sure that she got enough content in before her death. Between her fight with MonoTV, her heartfelt conversation with David, and the conversations she had post-death confronting David about his secret and defending Eden from Arturo, Arei got a lot of focus just before dying, too. 

Eden is one of the most heavily featured characters, and to me, it feels more like one being set up for immediate payoff rather than long-term. 

For example, David’s personality has shifted in a way that’s very interesting. People will want to see how his relationships with other characters are impacted and get to know the “real him” more before any potential death. Because of that, it makes sense that David’s heel turn is being set up for later, rather than being focus on him before he dies in Chapter 2. 

Eden, on the other hand, has shown us pretty much everything she can with this perspective. If she’s already spent two chapters being nice, happy and supportive, where does she go from there that’s narratively interesting and different? The only answer I can really come up with is “becoming less nice, happy, and/or supportive.” If that’s where her character is heading anyways, then doesn’t it make sense that being a killer could be a succinct way to do it? We already have enough people running around who don’t trust people, and it would feel odd to add Eden to that contingent. 

There’s one more story reason that Eden being the killer would make sense here. Check out the Chapter 2 title screen.

It’s pretty faint, but if you look after the “Glitters,” you can see faint text. It’s easier to see if you crank up the exposure.

You can tell what it is if you squint hard enough. Here’s me tracing it: 

“A Good Person.” 

The original chapter title is “All That Glitters,” which is pretty clearly a play on the saying “All that glitters is not gold” (RIP to anyone who just heard “all that glitters is gold in All Star by Smashmouth and didn’t question it. I was with you there). That seemingly applies a lot to this chapter, with appearances of success not being what they seem. It relates to the fact that J’s celebrity wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and David’s persona was too good to be true. 

The good person interpretation is interesting, too. If you input “A Good Person” into “All That Glitters,” you get “A good person is not gold.” Now, there’ve been a lot of characters who’ve claimed to be or mentioned wanting to be good people over the course of this chapter. However, I think the person most at the center of that is Eden, who’s been called a good or kind person by a lot of people– at the very least, I know Teruko, Arei and Levi do this.

Eden being the killer would be another way to show that people can’t be infallibly good. Again, I don’t think Eden’s gonna pull a 180 and suddenly become evil, I just think she’ll show a little more nuance. Her being suddenly evil does about the same thing for me as her being undeniably good; it reduces her character down to one trait rather than making her a full human. I don’t want her to be a pure cinnamon roll, I want her to be herself. 

Given this chapter title, I honestly think it’d be weirder if Eden didn’t do something notably Not Good this chapter. There could be other options, too, but Eden being the killer seems by far the most likely to me.

Topic 3: Relationships

I want to talk about Eden’s relationships to others in the cast. I’ve already mentioned Teruko a good bit, so I’m not really going to keep going over that. There are two others that I want to touch on.

One, Eden and Hu are known to be friends. They wash dishes together every night, and they generally seem to rely on each other for companionship and mutual help with steering the group in a more positive direction. Hu is someone who hasn’t gotten that much character arc focus, so I think she’ll probably be a bit more of a spotlighted character in the next daily life. Hu has already lost a friend and trusted co-leader in David, but I think it’d be even more interesting for her if she loses both of those people at once. With David in full-on evil theater kid mode and Eden dead as the killer, Hu will be forced to grapple with the fact that both of the people she trusted to help her guide the group not only aren’t helping her anymore, but did so in a way that betrayed her and her trust. 

That’s very speculative, though. The main relationship I’m here to analyze is with Arei, the victim of the case in question.

Arei and Eden have a very complicated relationship. At first, they were pretty neutral. Then, after the cake scene, Arei appeared to be jealous of Eden and her friends for, y’know, having friends. Later, when Eden tries to invite Arei, Arei goes off on Eden and Eden runs out of the room crying. Finally, when Arturo threatens Eden into silence over his secret, Arei shows up and promises to defend Eden and do whatever it takes to assure her that her friendship is real.

This is pretty much the entirety of Arei’s character arc. Because we know that Arei is the second victim, I want to examine that in the context of the canon games’ storylines in Chapter 2.

Chapter 2 frequently deals with the concept of bullying. Kirumi’s kinda doing her own thing here, but if you look at Mondo/Chihiro and especially Peko/Mahiru (and all the lore behind that one), it’s pretty standard. Chihiro is someone who I’m pretty sure has been bullied, and Mondo fits the bully role well enough. SDR2 is the big one, though, with Mahiru being bullied by Natsumi, Sato killing Natsumi because of that, then Peko killing Sato under Fuyuhiko’s command in revenge, and THEN Peko killing Mahiru in the killing game as even more revenge. So, let’s look at bullying in DRDT Chapter 2.

The big and obvious one is Ace and Nico. Ace bullied Nico, and eventually they snapped and tried to kill him in revenge. That means that the creator, at least in this case, opted for a situation where the bullied kills the bully, rather than the other way around.

Arei also bullies Eden notably in Chapter 2, and now she’s dead. I’m not saying that it has to be the same thing, but I think it would be interesting to parallel Ace and Arei and Nico and Eden. Ace, with his fear of death, would have to process just how close he came to being a victim, seeing the same thing play out with Arei, who actually did die. Nico, who’s trying to dodge any actual blame for their crime, would see Eden get executed for doing roughly the same thing. 

That’s something to address, though. What does this all mean for Eden? After all, Eden and Arei were friends now. It seems uncharacteristic of her to kill Arei for any reason. If I’m going to focus in on Eden’s character relationships, I really have to address that part.

Well, my answer is pretty simple. Eden simply didn’t believe her relationship with Arei actually changed. This might seem like an unfair claim at first, but if you look into it, it’s actually quite supported by the game.

Arei certainly thought Eden didn’t believe Arei’s sudden change of heart. She even goes as far as to call Eden out for it in the moment.

That’s not a very good argument though, is it? It disregards everything that happens afterwards, what with Arei explaining more and Eden hugging her and saying that her promise means “more than she knows.” It’s possible Arei convinced Eden during that second segment, so there’s not really any reason to believe that Eden didn’t believe her anymore.

Except…

Charles gets cut off by Whit here and immediately shuts up, which is played off as a joke. It is a joke, but I’ve noticed the DRDT creator is very good at putting in jokes that actually convey important information moving forwards. 

The fact that the creator put in not one, but two references to Eden possibly not believing Arei makes me think there’s more to it than making a joke or moving dialogue along. Whit even phrases it as “you wanna do that later?” which might be a hint that we actually are going to come back to that point of conversation later. 

For the record, I do think it’s also possible that Eden sort of half-believed Arei. She might’ve been committed to a murder plan by that point or something, so even if she thought Arei was being genuine, it’s possible she intentionally tried to convince herself Arei wasn’t genuine. That gets more into character interpretation, though.

Topic 4: Character Arc

This is the biggest one, in my opinion. If Eden is going to die here, what does her story say? Ignoring the big plot beats, Eden should get to have her own character arc, and if this is its conclusion, I want to look at where it went.

In the prologue, Eden is noted to stay positive, but she seems to be the most scared of the killing game itself. Here’s her slide from the official Prologue Recap video: 

In Chapter 1, we honestly didn’t see too much of Eden. What we did see was mostly her being nice and friendly. It was also established that Arei picked on her. Here’s her slide from the Chapter 1 Recap video:

Notably, the creator paired all the characters up for Chapter 1. We already know Arei is going to be important to Eden’s story, whether she’s the killer or not. They did pair up Xander and Min though, so it’s not like it’s impossible that they paired a victim with their killer.

Anyways, that means that, going into Chapter 2, the things the creator wanted us to remember about Eden are that she’s nice, cheerful, and one of the people who defended Teruko. Through Arei’s slide, we’re also encouraged to remember that Arei picked on Eden specifically for baking. (Arei also manipulated Levi in that scene pretty heavily, but Eden is the one they want us to remember.)

Where does Eden’s character arc go from there? Well, I’d say that she basically doubles down. 

Eden basically spends the chapter trying really hard to prevent conflict and stay friends/befriend everyone. She blackmails Teruko for the sole purpose of actually getting to hang out with her, she washes dishes with Hu, she makes breakfast with Levi, and she invites Arei to clockmaking to make sure she isn’t left out again. 

That means that Eden’s story in Chapter 2 is that she’s trying to be the one to get everyone through this hard time.

Because of that, killing seems rather counterproductive. After all, Eden’s been trying to end the killing game on her own terms, right? 

However, it’s possible that the message the creator wants to send us is that the cast isn’t currently capable of being entirely positive and friendly. While David pretended that the point of revealing all their secrets was so that they could get along, that was a lie. Eden being the killer would fit the messaging: with this cast, in this killing game, friendships aren’t a possibility right now. 

Would it be a change in Eden for her to kill now? Yes, of course. That’s how it goes with killers beyond Chapter 1; something changes that prompts them to kill. Like I examined earlier, I believe the motive of getting back to her previous life, in combination with the constant fighting, Arturo's threats against her and her apparent inability to actually make a meaningful change in those around her, would be enough to get her to break and kill in this Chapter 2 position.

I’ve talked about motive, overall narrative, Eden’s relationships and her character arc. That’s pretty much everything, but there’s one more big point I feel I need to touch on.

Topic 5: Eden’s Breakdown

This is what I assume makes people have the biggest problem with Eden culprit theory from a writing standpoint. After all, this is a very emotional moment and feels very important for Eden’s character arc. If she’s the killer, it would all be a lie, and it would invalidate everything we learned about Eden from this moment.

Except, I don’t think that’s fully true. It’s very possible to have a killer have an emotional breakdown moment mid-trial that makes them seem more innocent, but actually very much relates to the fact that they did kill. 

Even if she is a killer, I still believe Eden is a good person. Because of that, I think that she is genuinely haunted by Arei’s death, as well as Min’s. In fact, we know she’s haunted by Min’s death, before any of this Arei trial stuff happened. 

Given the fact that Eden runs out of the room crying after this, I think it’s fair to say that Arei’s words stuck with Eden. Because of that, pairing it with Eden’s breakdown in the trial, we can conclude that Eden feels guilty for both Min’s death and Arei’s death. Because Min’s death wasn’t Eden’s fault, it’s easy to disregard both as her blaming herself for things out of her control. 

It could be genuine this time, though. If Eden is the killer, at least some of that speech has to be fake (ex. When I saw that note, I knew someone must’ve overheard our conversation). However, what’s really interesting to me is what happens after the main part of Eden’s breakdown.

David goes on a little rant about how the victim would have to be incredibly stupid to actually fall for the note– or they’d have to be Arei, who wanted to be friends so desperately that she’d believe anything “Eden” told her. Afterwards, Eden says this: 

This is Eden agreeing with David’s rant. The non-killer interpretation of this is that Eden is just repeating the same thing, saying that Arei died because of her and her weakness. But, if you look at it from a different perspective, the phrasing is… a little odd?

In her speech earlier, what Eden said boiled down to “I couldn’t defend myself, and because Arei was nice to me and tried to defend me, she died.” Then, David says, “Because Arei wanted to be your friend, she died.” That’s basically the same information and logic, right? 

But Eden asks it as a question. Even though she said “it’s all my fault” earlier, this time she asks, “it really is my fault, isn’t it?” That means that there was something Eden didn’t know in David’s rant.

This could be several things, but I think the most likely thing is that, in my opinion, this is the point at which Eden realized that Arei was genuine about wanting to be her friend. Before this, she still wasn’t sure that Arei was being real, and that allowed her to proceed forward with her plan, keeping it together. However, once David, who got to see Arei in her breakdown, confirms that, yeah, Arei did that because she genuinely wanted to be Eden’s friend, Eden realizes that it was her fault. 

Arei wanted to be her friend, but now she’s dead, and it’s all Eden’s fault.

Interestingly, immediately after that last line, Teruko starts talking, bringing us back to mystery-solving mode. However, if you look at Eden while Teruko’s talking, she’s sobbing. 

Most of the time when a character is shown to the side, they’re left in whatever pose they were last in. For example, look at MonoTV making the :| face back there despite it having no relevance to the current point of the trial. In fact, MonoTV has that face for the entirety of Chapter 2, Episode 10. The last time MonoTV talked was in Episode 9, where…

Yeah, same face. It doesn’t change from there. My point is that, switching Eden’s sprite from the face-on, holding her wrist sprite to the sobbing and wiping her tears sprite is a conscious decision. They want to make sure we know that Eden is sobbing after that interaction with David. While that could be prolonged guilt from generally feeling at fault for Arei’s death, I think it makes more sense if it’s her coping with the fact that Arei did want to be her friend, and she killed her. 

Conclusion

Well, that’s my defense of Eden culprit theory from a writing perspective. Hopefully it was fun to read, whether you agree with it or not. Again, my point here isn’t to shame anyone who disagrees or anything, it’s to provide reasoning for why Eden could be the culprit and to defend the creator’s decision if that is the truth of this case. I’d love to hear about any and all other killer theories as well in order to have the greatest chance of catching the real criminal.

[veronicaphoenix]

Chapter tags & trigger warnings: fluff at the beginning, lots of angst and sadness in the second part, hints at an abusive relationship and mentions of childhood trauma, Japanese folklore. | Word count: 3.7k | Cross posted on AO3. | Series masterpost. ✧.*

General trigger warnings: This work addresses and depicts issues related to addiction and violence, contains explicit sexual content, and explores themes of childhood trauma. Reader discretion is advised. +18

It was 11pm when the glow of my phone pierced the darkness of my room, disrupting my sleep. I had kept it on silent because I had gone to bed early that day, but the brightness was so high, that if it weren’t for that I would have missed Lia’s call.

When I saw her name on the screen and the picture I had of her, smiling happily while she snuggled Gizmo close to her face, her eyes and nose scrunched in an adorable way, I was quickly yanked from my slumber, my alarms going off.

“Lia?”

“Noah,” something was wrong; I could tell by her voice, the way she said my name. “I know it’s late and you were probably sleeping, but do you think you can come pick me up?”

“Of course,” I said without hesitation.

I sat up on the bed, my eyes getting used to the dark. I was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, but it was still freaking cold in the house those days. The temperatures were expected to drop even more in the upcoming weeks. I wouldn’t let Jolly stop me from switching on the heating if needed. The dude had some resistance to low temperatures that maybe had something to do with the fact that he had been born in a very cold country.

“Where are you? Your apartment?” I asked over the phone, kicking the duvet away and rising from the bed.

“No, I’m…” She took a while to answer, and I could picture her looking around, wherever she was, in the middle of the night. “Fuck, I don’t know where I am,” she admitted. “My car won’t start. I don’t know what’s going on. I was at Emery’s house, and we got carried away chatting. I was headed to Mitch’s apartment right now, but the car started making a weird noise, I pulled over, switched the engine off, and now it won’t start. I’ve been trying for the past fifteen minutes.”

“Are you in the city?” I put on the hoodie that I discarded on the floor last night —a few hours ago, actually—.

“Outskirts,” she replied.

“Okay. Send me your location. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Just stay inside of the car.”

“Yeah, I will.” Her reply was shaky but determined, a reassurance that echoed through the phone line as I exited my room and hurried to the main door, putting on my sneakers and grabbing the keys. I would send a text to Jolly and Jesse once in the car, letting them know where I had gone.

The city slumbered beneath a blanket of quietude as I drove the empty streets, the eerie radiance of the streetlamps casting a somber ambiance on the dampened asphalt. The clock’s hands seemed to move at a slow pace, nearly twenty minutes stretching into an eternity as I pushed the accelerator, eager to reach Lia. The hum of the engine my only company in the solitude of the cold night.

As I approached Lia’s location, I muttered a curse. Lia’s car was parked on the side of the national road, the shadows of the night taking over the distant light from the lampposts.

I stopped my car behind hers. The quietude and cold air enveloping me as I stepped out at the same time Lia emerged from her car. The chilled air bit through my hoodie, and our footsteps echoed as we met each other.

“Hey.”

Lia wrapped her arms around me and muttered a weak “thank you for coming” before standing back. I noticed she was also wearing a hoodie, one of the recent new ones we had released with her designs for the last drop. It was two or three sizes bigger on her, which made me think that it was probably mine. I could also tell how cold her cheeks would feel, for they were as red as her nose.

“Are you okay?” My hand rubbed her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied. “I’m worried about the car, though,” she admitted, glancing back at the stalled vehicle. “Whatever the problem is, I don’t think I’ll be able to drive home tonight.”

“Let me take a look. It might be an issue with the injectors, or perhaps it’s just the battery. Either way, we might need to call a tow truck,” I suggested, moving towards Lia’s car.

“Great,” she sighed, her concern lingering. She tried to hide her hands inside the long sleeves of the hoodie. Her shoulders were drawn tight.

Seated the driver’s seat, I slid the keys into the ignitor. The engine responded with a sluggish sound, as if grappling with an obstruction that resisted its ignition.

“That doesn’t sound good,” I said, trying again. “Look, if it’s an issue with the ignition, we could try something.”

“What?” She asked, a flicker of curiosity in her eyes.

“There’s a way to get the car back on if the problem is with the ignition, but I’m going to need you to push the car from behind.”

Her eyes widened with a mix of surprise and skepticism.

“Do I look like I’m built to push a car?”

I couldn’t help but smile at her remark.  

“No, not really, but it’s not that difficult once the handbrake is off. I need to be here to guide the process. I have to press the clutch, put it in second gear, and move the foot to the accelerator quickly while somebody is pushing the car.”

“Why can’t I do that?”

“Because it’s harder to do than pushing the car, trust me.”

“Okay, Mr. Mechanic,” she concluded.

“Get the gloves from my car, in the storage in front of the passenger’s seat. Otherwise you’re going to freeze your hands.

“Got it.”

I closed the door and rolled down the window. Lia crouched down behind the car, hands gloved. With a signal from me, she began pushing the car, pursuing her lips hard as she used all the strength she could gather from her shoulders and arms. I heard a laugh echoing a few seconds later as the car started to get into motion. I chuckled and shook my head as I tried to get the engine on, stealing a look at the rearview mirror and seeing Lia’s expression. She looked like she had just discovered she had the super strength of a superhero.

Yet, despite our efforts, my idea proved futile.

Five minutes later, Lia stood with slumped shoulders behind her car, looking at me with a pout.

“It’s either the battery or the injectors,” I conluded, releasing a sigh. “They’ll have to take a look at it.”

“Ugh.”

“Don’t worry. Call the car insurance, and let’s wait in my car until the tow truck arrives. Then, I’ll drive you wherever you need to go.”

She grabbed her things from her car and circled mine to open the passenger door. Once inside, I helped her put her stuff in the backseat, my expression furrowing at the sight of the flowerpot she was holding.

“What’s that?” My curiosity piqued as Lia cradled the plant in her hands.

“What do you mean? It’s a flower plant. I got it this morning and it’s been in the car even since. Poor thing,” she mourned, checking its leaves. “It’s a bellflower. Isn’t it pretty?”

“Yeah,” I replied, not being much of a flower enthusiast, but the vibrant plant had a certain charm to it.  

“I was thinking if I ever have a daughter, I will name her after this flower. Bellie.”

“What?” I snorted a laugh.

“What?” She repeated, a playful defiance in her tone. “You don’t like it?”

“You don’t think people will call her “Belly” by mistake? No, I don’t think I would name my daughter Bellie.”

“If you put it that way… What about Lily?”

“Lily is cute, but it’s too common.”

“Okay, what about—?

“Are we really discussing baby names?” I interrupted her, bemused. We were in the middle of nowhere, waiting for a tow truck. It was nearly midnight. I was tired, she probably was, too, and we were having a discussion over how we would name our daughter? I mean, each other’s daughter. Or… Whatever.

Our gazes remained locked for a couple of seconds. Then, Lia shook her head and dropped her eyes back to the plant. “Mitch’s apartment is empty as hell, so I decided to get some plants, make it look livelier.”

“Are you planning on moving in with him soon?” I couldn’t help but ask, my tone subtly changing.

Please, don’t say yes.

“No, I don’t think so,” she answered honestly. A straightforward answer. That was good. “I really like my apartment. We’ll see in the future, but no plans of moving together for now. God, can you switch on the heating? I’m freezing.”

“Sure. Why didn’t you call him, though?”

It took her a moment to answer, her eyes wandering in the dark landscape in front of us.

“He just came back from tour and he’s out with his friends tonight. I didn’t want to bother him,” her voice carried a hint of shame. “I’m sorry that I called you and made you come all the way here this late.” She looked up at me, her voice low and soft in the dark.

Her reddened cheeks and nose made me want to reach out to her, to cup her face and warm her skin with my palms.

“Lia, you know you don’t have to apologize for that. In fact, you know you should call me if something happens. I mean,” a sudden wave of anger surged within me as thoughts raced my mind. “What the hell, you should call your boyfriend. You should’ve called him. Fuck his night out. You’re in trouble. He should be here.”

“Well, yeah, but…” She let out a puff, sinking herself in the seat. I didn’t mean to make her feel guilty for calling me. My point was merely to acknowledge what a moron Mitch was being. He just came back from tour and decided to hang out with his friends instead of spending time with Lia? What was wrong with him? “Noah, I know that” Lia replied, the tiredness in her tone evident, “but I don’t need a lesson right now. I didn’t feel like calling him. I wanted to call you. That’s all,” she concluded. And before I said anything else, “What’s wrong with the heating?” She put her hands on the heaters, checking the air.

“Nothing is wrong. You just have to wait a while,” I told her, mirroring her tone.   

The conversation was dropped right then, a heavy silence settling between us.

An hour later, we were stopped in front of Mitch’s residence, a recently built five-story brick building situated near the city center. The keys jingled in Lia’s hands as she fished them out of her bag, a moment of hesitation lingering as my car remained parked in front of the entrance. Her gaze remained fixed outside the window, a nervous nibble on her lip showing her unease.  

“Lia, don’t worry about the car.”

“It’s…” She sighed again, struggling to find the words.

“Are you worried about the money? You know that shouldn’t be a problem, whatever it is that needs to get fixed. The insurance will take care of it.”

“It’s just been a hectic day,” she told me. Consequently, she shook her head and let it drop. “I really need to get to bed. You’re my savior. I owe you.”

“You owe me nothing,” I replied with a smile. I could see how she was still battling herself for her decision of calling me instead of Mitch, for admitting that he had preferred his friends over her, that her car had broken down. I didn’t want to let her go feeling like that. “Or… Actually, you can take me out to that Indian restaurant. Friday? I’ll be free after seven.”

She playfully nudged my shoulder, leaning in two seconds later to kiss my cheek. Her lips were still cold, and the sensation lingered on my skin even for a while after she was gone.

“Seriously, thank you.”

So many formalities, as if she didn’t know that I would move heaven and earth to ensure she was safe of any danger out there. Sometimes her naiveté astonished me.

“Text me when you get home? Just to make sure your car doesn’t break down in the middle of somewhere,” she pleaded.

“Hopefully not. Otherwise, how do you plan on coming to my rescue?” I joked.

“I’ll steal somebody’s bicycle,” she responded with a grin and determination.

“I can’t wait to see you do that.”

With a small laugh, she closed the door, and the silence I was left in inside of the car filled my heart with sadness.

A week and a half later, Lia and I found ourselves at the garage, surrounded by the scent of motor oil and the clattering sounds of tools. As she sat down to sign the paperwork, her eyes flickered with a mix of frustration and resignation. The mechanic, a burly man with grease-streaked overalls, handed her the pen, and she reluctantly scrawled her signature across the dotted line.

Swiping her credit card over the dataphone to settle the bill, Lia winced at the considerable amount that flashed across the screen. The cost of the repairs had skyrocketed, and the insurance only covered half of it. The issue with her car, as explained by the mechanic, was a malfunctioning injector. It turned out that a single faulty injector had caused a domino effect, fucking up the entire fuel injection system. With a sigh, Lia listened as the mechanic detailed the necessity of replacing all the injectors to ensure the car's optimal performance and prevent future issues.

Despite the amount of money that disappeared from her bank account, Lia's thoughts seemed to be elsewhere as she swiped her credit card. That day, when I picked Lia up from Mitch's apartment, I noticed an air of detachment about her, as if the car troubles were merely a backdrop to something deeper weighing on her mind.

We left the reception, both of us holding back a curse because we had no umbrella and they had left Lia's car parked at the end of the street. We stopped for a few minutes before we emerged from the shelter that was the garage roof. On the street, several people were standing back from the curb with their umbrellas to avoid being splashed with water from the puddles on the road by the cars rushing by. I pulled up the hood of the black hoodie I was wearing and looked in the direction of where Lia's car was. It was about twenty meters from where we were standing. It wasn't much, but we were going to get wet whether we wanted to or not. Lia was wearing a black beanie and a denim jacket, and she hid her hands in the pockets and shrank into herself. After the amount of money she'd had to pay for the car repair, she wasn't too thrilled about having to walk in the rain. I suggested to come spend the afternoon with me and Jolly at home; we would make popcorn, plop down on the couch and watch a Peaky Blinders with the rain drops pattering outside. However, she had turned down the offer almost reluctantly, stating that Mitch would be waiting for her at home to have lunch together.

It had been a long time since we had spent an evening like this together and I missed her, but I understood that she now had a partner and was spending most of her time at his place .I could no longer ask for her company as I did before. Things had changed a lot in the last few months, much to my dismay. I was comforted by the thought that as soon as we went on tour again, I would be back to spending whole days with her around.

“Do you think it will stop soon?” She asked in a rather low voice. Her eyes were lost in the clouded sky.

“Doesn’t look like it," I replied, also looking up. It had been raining all week, and the weather forecast predicted that the weather would stay about the same for the next two weeks. “We'd better get going.”

“Your car is on the other corner," Lia replied then, looking at me with a worried wrinkle between her eyebrows.

“Don't worry about me. Let's go.”

Lia followed me after tucking her hair under her jacket and tying the buttons up to her neck. She ducked her head and scampered down the street until we were halfway to her car. That's when Mitch's voice stopped us.

“I had a feeling you weren't going to take the bus.”

Lia and I turned around.

Mitch was standing a few feet away from us in the rain, also without an umbrella. He was wearing a leather jacket and raindrops were pooling in his hair and beard. He had half a smile plastered on his face, but it was not a friendly smile. His blue eyes looked at Lia with pedantry.

Beside me, I sensed Lia tense up.

“Mitch," was the first thing she said. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you think?” He questioned back, taking a couple of steps toward us. 

As it had been happening for the past few months, every time the three of us were in the same room, the air seemed to get stale.

“Noah offered to give me a ride," she explained calmly.

“Of course,” the sarcasm was evident in his voice and in his attitude.

When he looked away from her to me, I returned his look with narrowed eyes.

It was no secret that my relationship with Mitch had frayed quite a bit —to say the least— since he started dating my best friend. It’s not like we ever had such a great wonderful friendship, but ever since he'd started going out with Lia there had been a void between us that we both knew what it was due to.

“I thought you were working," she continued.

“I went out for coffee with Enzo and I asked him to give me a ride to the garage, since you were told to pick up your car today at this time, and here I am, unexpectedly surprised by you instead of the other way around,” his words dripping sarcasm as we stood right outside the garage, under the rain.

“What's wrong with you?” Lia countered, her features shrinking.

“What's wrong with me?” he repeated, his anger flaring. “Your car breaks down in the middle of the road and who do you call? Him!” He shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at me drawing disapproving glances from the garage workers and other passersby. “Him, damn it! And now I find you here with him again!”

“You don't have to react like that,” Lia replied, keeping it down, refusing to let her voice escalate.

“Of course I have to! Who's your boyfriend, Lia? Who?!”

“Don't raise your voice at her,” I ordered without moving. However, I was prepared to step between them the moment I considered that he had lost it.

Both of them turned their heads to me. Lia wore an expression of sorrow, shame, and guilt, while Mitch seethed with anger. If it hadn’t been clear to me before, it was now: the dude hated me.  

“I don't think you realize this isn't about you, Noah.”

It was clear he failed to understand that whatever happened to Lia was indeed my business.

Years ago, Lia might have reacted different to Mitch’s outburst, but since she had started going out with him, she seemed to have lost her sense of agency. She didn’t want to acknowledge that the frightened little Lia who once cowered in the corner of her house because her mother or one of the men she had brought home had tried to touch her was there again, making her unable to defend herself.

That day was when I started worrying for real, but Lia wouldn’t let me step up.  

She was no longer a child, and she was with Mitch by choice, and there was a line I wasn’t supposed to cross and that was growing thicker day by day.

“I called Lia a while ago to ask about the car. When she told me she was about to leave the house I offered to pick her up. That's all.”

It was a lie, of course. We had agreed on me picking her up this morning over the texts we exchanged last evening. We had even planned on going out and getting a coffee from a Starbucks nearby and taking a walk around the city center, get a few things we needed, but I guessed those plans were totally cancelled now.  

“I don't give a crap,” Mitch turned his attention back to Lia. “Have you paid the bill yet?”

“Yes," she responded in a robotic tone.  

“Then let's go.” Mitch walked toward her, extending his hand not for her to take, but to collect the car keys. Lia handed them over and he made a gesture for her to follow him.

When I spoke her name in a whisper laden with concern, Lia's eyes reached for mine. She had such huge, beautiful eyes, and I couldn't bear to see what lurked in them, that sadness.

“It's okay, don't worry," she whispered to me. She brushed the fingers of her hand over mine as she turned her back to Mitch. She was hiding the look in her eyes and at the same time trying to reassure me. The pain I saw in them made me furious, but what angered me the most was the small, forced smile he tried to sneak on me under the increasing rain.

Any other time, she would have stood on her tiptoes to give me a kiss on the cheek before leaving. It was something Lia had always done with me. Wherever we were, before disappearing, she always sought me out to say goodbye. It didn't matter if I was busy or at the other end of the house. Lia always kissed me goodbye.

This time, she didn't. And I watched her walk away from me as if a piece of heaven had just been ripped out of my hands.

Mitch took her hand. I let her walk away. She took one last look over her shoulder at me.

Things were not going well.

I felt a tug in my stomach. I knew I would get sick that day, and in a few hours, I would be coughing up flowers.

[togethernow]

WarioWare asks 4 and 10!

Hoooo boy y’all are really really REALLY making me want to ramble

Also very very sorry that this is very very VERY late, I was swamped with work irl and didn’t have time to really sit down and write anything

Anyways I’ll ramble about 4 in a later post (keep an eye out for that!

Here’s the short version though (still a bit long)

- All of warioware is one big found family! Cause sometimes a family can be a bunch of weirdos who get together and occasionally make games together! The gang hangs out regularly outside of work, go to each other for advice, and have parties at Wario’s house!

- Because of this, I don’t really like to ship anyone in Warioware. Spibble is an exception though because they were together from the beginning <3

In terms of headcanon relationships with each other, ehhh let me just say a few in no particular order

- Prior to the founding of Warioware, some of the cast already knew each other. For example, Dribble and Spitz heard of Crygor due to many customers recommending them to get some upgrades to their cab. However, they were a bit intimidated/scared due to his reputation of being an eccentric mad scientist. The dude lives alone on an island off the coast of the city with a bunch of robots! They became more closer due when they became coworkers though, cause of working on games together and their love of sci-fi

- The older kids help the younger ones with things like their homework! I have like, a whole system thing ish in my head as to how exactly the kids interact in terms of school, which I’ll probably say in another post. Outside of school, they still hang out, like having sleepovers at each others houses and such

- Mona gives the rest of the employees discounts at the various places she works at. This gets… kinda inconvenient for Joe to calculate when everyone comes over to hang out, but they’re still welcome nonetheless!

- Wario’s less of a boss and more of like… a supervisor. I mean, yeah, he’s the one who tells them when to make games, and yeah, he’s the one making most of them. But they still come in on their own (all the adults and teens have a key to the building) and make games even when he’s not there. And he’s obviously not paying them. So he’s basically just the one who sparked everything and all the other important stuff (like managing finances, files, and what not) is delegated to others

- And finally, this isn’t really a headcanon, but something I just really love. Deep down, Wario really is just the grumpy uncle. Although it might not seem like it to people on the outside, the whole crew knows that he truly does care for them. I could imagine him suggesting to take the kids out on one of his treasure hunting trips to “show ‘em how it’s done the Wario style!” but ended up stopping due to 5-Volt’s reprimands about how dangerous it is. Heck, I consider Wario to be Lulu’s pseudo dad. He has a bed for her in his house and lets her ride around on her motorcycle whenever she comes over

10- Orby :3

He’s my favorite little guy! Just a scrungly! A li’l blorbo!

On second thought, I might want to get one of Spitz too. Or Red. Or even Mike. Eeeyah, there’s so many options that I can’t choose!!

[baku-bowl]

broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

------------------------------------------------

Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart. 

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?" 

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

Or

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

Or

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

[shijiujun]

Time for some BL/Danmei novel recs! 

You guys have probably (maybe) seen my novels list here - [X] - but it’s more for my own tracking than anything else, so here’s a brief list (I’ll probably do full ones of the ones I really love in another post, probably on Minmo).

The ones elaborated on below with the asterisks are the novels I’ve actually finished reading.

*since everyone more or less knows MXTX’s works - TGCF, MDZS and SVSSS, I’ll skip those!

1. SCI 迷案集 | SCI Mystery Series by 耳雅*

Summary: Bai Yutang and Zhan Zhao are childhood friends and rivals that end up working together under the newly established SCI unit as co-leads, with Bai Yutang providing the brawn as Captain and Zhan Zhao the brains as Vice Captain and the team’s resident genius psychologist. They solve cases together and slowly unravel a wider conspiracy that involves their parents’ generation and beyond. At the same time they also realize that they’re meant for each other!

Other CPs: Bai Jintang (Bai Yutang’s older brother) & the medical examiner, Gongsun Ce, Bai Chi (Bai Yutang’s younger cousin) & magician Zhao Zhen, and at least three other gay pairings, one of which is considered another main couple of sorts from Vol. 2 onwards

Status: Incomplete (Began in 2010, author is still going on strong with one chapter every one or two months, we’re halfway through Vol. 5 right now and it’s been 10 years ;-; Love that the author is going on strong!! Everyone on JJWXC are like “please author it’s okay if you go slow as long as you keep going we’re here for you” and jfc I understand the fear of this not completing, also when will Vol. 5 be completed and printed?!! I need to complete the collection)

Translations: Unfortunately, only the first volume has been translated well so far on novel updates. The one on Wattpad seems to have caught up, but I would not recommend that one.

Drama/Live-Action: Season 1 was filmed and released in 2018 under the same name with slightly changed names for the characters. Season 2 was supposed to start filming this month but... oh well. First season basically covered Vol. 1 novel from start to end.

*I love this one only because it was my very first danmei and so it’ll forever have a special place in my heart, and also because it’s still ongoing so ya know, I relive how much I love this every month

2. 成化十四年 | Cheng Hua’s Fourteenth Year (The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty) by 梦溪石*

Summary: Tang Fan, a prefectural judge, and Sui Zhou, a high ranking officer in the Embroidered Uniform Guards, meet while trying to solve a murder case. Both of them end up partnering very well together, Sui Zhou ends up inviting Tang Fan to live with him, and the rest is history. Through their days living together and solving cases + a larger conspiracy involving the royal palace, they fall in love. Adding to this mix is also Wang Zhi, a powerful, young eunuch who befriends the pair, and the three of them basically help the crown prince to overcome challenges and his enemies to become the next Emperor

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: Ongoing on several websites. I’m only translating relationship highlights, but here’s an introduction post I did for it, if you guys would like somewhere to start without getting too invested - [X]

Drama/Live-Action: The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty was released earlier this year, directed by Jackie Chan and starring Darren Chen and Paul Fu, but cases are a little different and there are new characters in the show that weren’t from the novel etc.

3. 杀破狼 | Shapolang by Priest*

Summary: Set in a steampunk universe where flying boats named ‘kites’ and flying armour exist. Young teenager Chang Geng lives with his mother and stepfather - the former abuses him and the latter neglects him, and the only person that he cares about (and cares about him) is Shen Shiliu, his (very young) godfather. He realizes his identity as a royal prince when the Man tribe invades his city and Shen Shiliu, whose real name is Gu Yun, turns out to be an army general whose duty was to protect Chang Geng in secret (among other things). 

Chang Geng has been critically poisoned by his mother (who’s not actually his birth mother, if I recall she’s an aunt) which leads to him getting terrible dreams frequently with the end result of him being driven into insanity, while Gu Yun is half blind, half deaf due to poisoning + injury when he was much younger, and he can only regain his hearing and sight fully when he takes a medicine that is slowly losing its effectiveness with every dosage he has.

The both of them navigate learning about each other again, falling in love a few years later when Chang Geng is all grown up and also unravel conspiracies and fight bad guys (both external threats and internal as in the current Emperor and other parties) XD

*Note: The age old debate is that Gu Yun ‘preyed’ on and also ‘groomed’ Chang Geng, but I disagree and stand by the fact that Gu Yun was 90% of the time not around while Chang Geng grew from a teenager to a young adult as he was fighting wars elsewhere, while Chang Geng refused to stay at the Gu manor and insisted on running around, travelling on his own and seeing the world for a few years before they met again. And it was Chang Geng who’d always loved Gu Yun and devoted himself to caring about him, making advances on him etc. when he became an adult

Other CPs: Shen Yi (Gu Yun’s second-in-command) & Chen Qingxu (a renowned physician who ends up healing both Chang Geng and Gu Yun of their ailments) 

Status: Complete!

Translations: Fully translated the last I heard, it’s up there in the list of holy grail BL/danmei novels, so I’m sure it’s done hahaha.

Drama/Live-Action: Filming in progress!

*This is up there in the hall of fame for danmei novels for more than just the amazing content and writing - It’s also famous for being one of the most complex novels ever. I don’t know how the translations team did it because DAMN it was complex and I read all my novels in Chinese without much issues but I was honestly STRUGGLING WITH this one and I went through some existential crisis while reading because I was like ‘did I ever learn Chinese, am I even Chinese’ XD

4. 默读 | Silent Reading by Priest*

Summary: Luo Wenzhou, a police captain, and his team including best friend and partner Tao Ran, face a few challenging cases that end up being small parts of a larger conspiracy, and end up having to consult with Fei Du, a flamboyant, charming and flirty, young and rich CEO, who Luo Wenzhou describes as someone who is an expert at ‘crimes’. Not deduction, not solving crimes, but someone who is familiar with how the murderer or culprits would commit crimes. Both Luo Wenzhou and Tao Ran know Fei Du well, because they first met when Fei Du was in high school, when he called the police because his mother had hanged herself in the house, and since then Tao Ran and Luo Wenzhou look out for him, spending holidays with him, giving him presents here and there. Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du overcome their misunderstandings of each other and fall in love while solving all the cases and the larger conspiracy behind it.

Other CPs: Tao Ran and someone he knew first from his school days or was a neighbour when he was younger, I can’t remember, but they meet again at a blind date and end up living in the same building on different floors XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: Complete!! There’s a huge post floating around on Tumblr with all the links (I can’t find it right now) and on Twitter you can also find the collated, epub versions etc.

Drama/Live-Action: Rights for a live-action was signed, no casting confirmation or set dates yet

5. 犯罪心理 | Criminal Psychology by 长洱*

Summary: Police captain Xing Conglian drags psychologist Lin Chen out of seclusion/hiding to solve a case that is indirectly tied to him. Lin Chen was involved in a case a few years ago that led to four deaths - these four victims were the sons/daughters of four of the five huge old-money (super rich) families in the country and these family members sought to make Lin Chen’s life very difficult for him afterwards by making him lose all the jobs he can find, by surveilling his every move and ensuring that he’s not happy etc. Because of that, he backed out of the police force as well and quietly lived as a school dorm administrator, which is where Xing Conglian finds him a few years later. Lin Chen fakes his death after the first case (not deliberately but kind of a by-the-way thing), but as fate would have it, he ends up meeting Xing Conglian on another case, and he decides that he’ll move in with him and also involve himself again, consequences be damned, and they fall in love!

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet.

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of.

6. 死亡万花筒 | Kaleidoscope of Death by 西子绪* (MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE)

Summary: Supernatural setting where people who are about to die get a second chance to live. These individuals are either in the midst of a dangerous situation (for e.g. a shootout or a deadly mugging incident) or are about to get into accidents (for e.g. an entire bus going off a bridge or a chandelier dropping from above and crushing the person underneath) or are ill (recently diagnosed with cancer or are terminally ill with a condition for e.g.) - The list is endless, and in the situation between life and death, 12 doors will appear before them. 

It is said that once these individuals finish all 12 doors, they will truly get a second chance at life and survive whatever cause of death they were imminently facing. 

Each door represents a creepy, supernatural mystery, and Lin Qiushi finds himself in a strange place after opening a door when he was trying to enter his apartment one day. He meets Ruan Baijie, a beautiful, tall woman who he happens to meet, and they realize that in this strange world, he and other individuals who came through the door have to complete a given task, find a key and an exit door, and make it out alive. The others in the team (some of which have already gone through several doors) explain to Lin Qiushi, who is a first-timer, what the doors are about. 

The catch is, if they die inside the door, in the real world, they’ll die immediately, by accident, throwing themselves off a building, or just throwing up blood until they die (just to name a few)

On the first night, however, three people are slaughtered and eaten by a long-haired ghost/creature. The good news is, Ruan Baijie isn’t all that she seems to be (for one, she’s not exactly a woman) and she takes a liking to Lin Qiushi immediately.

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet!

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of, but honestly, this novel would be fricking EPIC as a live-action, and really creepy, but this is my all-time favourite novel, I kid you not!!!!

*I’m definitely doing a longer and more detailed to-read for KOD on my translation account, gosh you guys have no idea how much I love this.

7. 当年万里觅封侯 | Those Years in Quest of Honor Mine by 漫漫何其多

Summary: Yu She and Gu Wan were close friends for a short period of time when they were younger, but unfortunately their identities and positions meant that they were opponents. Yu She’s family was for the Second Prince and Gu Wan was taken in by the Sixth Prince’s family, but in the end it was the Second Prince who ended up getting to the throne, while the Sixth Prince was accused of treason and died somewhere far away at war after being captured. Gu Wan’s only wish was to keep the Fifth Prince’s children - Xuan Rui and a pair of twins, Xuan Yu and Xuan Congxin safe, and so he moves them to another province and asks the Emperor (the Second Prince) to demote Xuan Rui’s status to prove that they are no threat to the Emperor, if only to stay alive for another day.

However, their days of hardship have only just begun, and Gu Wan decides to namedrop Yu She, whose family is so powerful now, and claims that Yu She loves him and that he was wooing Gu Wan back in the days they knew each other so that officials and others would treat the children under his care better. A few years pass and Yu She doesn’t expose Gu Wan. Gu Wan thinks they can go on like this forever, until the Emperor asks Xuan Rui and the twins to head back to the palace for a visit.

Gu Wan meets Yu She again, but the boy he knew, who was gentle, a stickler for rules and a proper, well-mannered person, has changed almost completely. Cue palace conspiracies again, brothers fighting for the throne, scheming consorts etc. XD 

Other CPs: None XD

Status: Complete!

Translations: I think it’s not complete yet but I’m not super sure on this

Drama/Live-Action: None that I know of!

*They came out with a new reprint edition three days ago and it’s gorgeous! And comes with amazing freebies, and I am a sucker and read it on the day of the printed novel release because I saw the art and loved it, wanted to see if the story was any good, and damn after chapter 2 I WAS GONE and then I checked out two copies from different stores for the two different sets of freebies 

--

A list of those I haven’t read but I see are highly raved about:

1. 二哈和他的白猫师尊 | The Husky & His White Cat Shizun by Meatbun

- I’ve already been spoiled and I know what goes on mostly, and there are a lot of warnings for a reason, but I’m still a fan, and let’s not get into the debate on the content, I know I have to read this but the angst level is apparently ridiculous, so I need like some mental preparation before I sit down for it.

2. 千秋 | A Thousand Autumns by 梦溪石

3. 烈火浇愁 | Lie Huo Jiao Chou by Priest

4. 将进酒 | Qiang Jing Jiu by 唐酒卿

- A really good group of translators picked this up initially on Twitter, but then assholes were complaining that they were being too slow and insisting that machine translation (MTL) did an equally good and faster job, so the OG dropped it, and then another nice team picked it up, but MTL team is still being an asshole XD I’ve heard really good things about this one, it’s apparently quite complex as well, I’d liken it to Shapolang level? But it might be even more complex (with a lot of politics and stuff), so much so that apparently the printed novel comes with a relationship/character chart so readers are at any point in time clear on the characters which is like amazing XD

[anolyso]

Utena thoughts...about 2 weeks later

I've been putting it off for way too long and so most of my thoughts stopped being fresh. On top of watching way too many analysis vids post-watch, but still I do at least want to put my 2cents of Revolutionary Girl Utena out there for the world.

Utena is perhaps one of the most famous "magical girl"/shoujo action shows out there for not only it's transgressive themes of relationship abuse and low-key pretty much being the poster girl for like actual feminist perspective on/in anime...but also just doing it all in both a heavily allegorical and understated, yet super over-the-top stylish fashion

But that's it's reputation preceding itself, is Utena worth while all these years? The answer is Yes, but it also really shows it's age and budget in pacing and repetition, tho as an appreciator for "behind the scenes" compromises in art, it's more showcasing Ikuhara's talent in working around both taboo and long-form budget constraints with just well-thought out and iconic imagery that - while episodic and formulaic - is just very good at filling the 39 eps with feasts for the eyes.

Utena broadly is about tomboy Utena with memories long ago after her parents died being "saved" by a princely figure like a princess...except she's so enthralled by the nostalgia that instead she becomes a full on Prince herself and receives a dueling ring to fight in the Ohtori Acadamy secret duels for "engagement" to Rose Bride Himemiya Anthy.

Utena is divided between 4 arcs, only the first and last being Manga adapted from hearsay:

1: Student Council Saga

2: Black Rose Saga

3: Akio Ohtori Saga

4: Apocalypse

From back to forth I'd say that Akio + Apoc is more just escalation into the finale while Black Rose being anime original comes off as a glorified side-character study which while complementing the secondary cast, feels like one of those Anime movies that has to say "but if you don't watch this part, it's pretty much optional for the main plot" despite it also actually introducing the most important antagonist within it's margins.

More importantly, it's the Student Council (arc and the actual people) that lay the foundation but also a large part of the show's focus which ironically puts Utena in the background until like almost the finale and some in-between developments, so it's less "Utena (and Anthy Himemiya)'s story" until the very end, but more like a showcase of how fucked up the system at large is (pin in that).

By the Council themselves is:

Kyouichi Saionji: The biggest jobber, like actually introduced as the most despicable loser ep 1 and proceeds to be a complete arrogant joke for the rest of the show. Honestly in another shojo "love" story, they'd find some way to redeem him but semi-compellingly they turn him into like an Aqua-lad type pathetic brat with an inferiority complex to the actual Student head

Miki Kaoru: the naive "nice, non-threatening soft boy" that also just never actually listens to the girls around him. Probably adds more complexity to the whole patriarchal idea on analytic reflection since yeah, the whole "nice guy finishes last" plays up better when the kid comes off as that "ally" energy of wanting to save Himemiya from being the Rose Bride but also low-key won't actually not just do the duels and win her cuz he's that sorta wishy-washy hypocrite. Arguably the least hateable guy in the cast (minus mascot Chu-Chu)

Juri Arisugawa: TRAGIC LESBIAN TRIANGLE LOVE. Probably the biggest point to of both "not-explicitly homosexual" but also really freaking obvious since her entire story is her girlfriend stealing her "boy crush" when actually she was crushing on her and being pretty much frustrated throughout her story as pining most of it. It's quaint by today's standards but also like damn girl, get over her she was like the worst back stabbing bitch (literally if Black Rose counts)

Nanami Kiryuu: SPEAKING OF QUEEN BITCH, it's been a long time since I've watched a High School girl bully and honestly it's kinda refreshing. If Miki is "soft-boy uwu" Nanami is a brat that gets her come-uppance often, featured prominently as an anime only with the MOST filler/comedic episodes but also not low-key, being the most out-spoken actual brother complex ironically spins perhaps the biggest twist and ironic relationships of "I love my brother but not-like-that but also like-that" by the end. Mostly comedic relief but I find her inclusion to actually add a lot more to juxtapose...

Touga Kiryuu: Big Student Council Prez himself, the first arc antagonist and also a strong foil to Saionji and later a stepping stone for Akio. Touga is THE image of a Princely Playboy Heart-Throb that in any other Shoujo romance would have the main girl win him over from all those "other girls" despite him being apathetic if not outright manipulative of them. Good thing Utena is better than that and really puts a spotlight on just not-actually-ok his power hunger for "the power to bring the world revolution" that leads him to heavily objectify Anthy, arguably even more than Misogynist Trophy Girlfriend beater Saionji, since he doesn't even see her as more than a means to an end despite professing and looking the Prince part but lacking all the actual virtues.

The Student council matters more since they're characters and subsequent tragic flaws are the ACTUAL meat of the show and on second rumination actual shows more how fucked up the system/gender dynamic/power hierarchy is since - while it blatantly fucks over Juri who can't just outright say who she likes - also show almost it's own sub-text of Masculine failings: Saionji desperately clinging to being TOXIC MASCULINE™ and completely falling short underneath Touga; Miki's "nice boy" act belying him trying to replace his low-key nostalgia for his sister (also a bitch, but apparently was more like Nanami in the manga); and best yet Touga being the quintessential "Prince in all but actual behavior" by emulating a cutthroat and Machiavellian world view but coming up empty because well, he's just an illusion of a prince...but that leads in way more to the big finale piece where I'll reintroduce the actual story's main trio

Utena Tenjou: Tomboy Prince with brain empty except for lesbian thoughts. Honestly probably what every western "STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN" archetype wishes they were since while having very tomboyish personality in athletics, blunt speaking and also VERY oblivious to the actual plot for REAL DRAMATIC IRONY, but also never actually demeaning her being feminine partially due to her love of an childhood prince and how she maintains her relationship with both her friend Wakaba and later Anthy. Honestly mostly a plot device after S1 until she gets ACTUAL development by the very end and instead kinda bumbles her way into undoing the entire REVOLUTION OF THE WORLD. I kinda wish she felt either more cognizant or at least felt like she was developing/properly rebuking the rest of the cast's power obsessions but I guess that's for the movie.

Anthy Himemiya: Actual Trophy Wife with a dark secret (darker than ski- wait no that's terrible scratch that). Set-up very much as an immediate princess in distress while also being the most femme Yamato Nadeshiko, Anthy being the Rose Bride as a literal prize who acts and behaves as whom she's "engaged" with desires while otherwise being quiet, wry, mysterious and noticably submissive, by the end it actually plays up into THE BIG REVEALS of just how abused she's been into a hopeless acceptance...like y'know actual abuse victims.

Akio Ohtori: Grade A Antagonist, probably the most insidious I've seen a villain in a while, Akio is notable for, back in 1997, being perhaps the big go-to of actual deconstructing the facade of a whole shoujo genre's "hots for a teacher/sexy man putting the moves" and highlighting how actually exploitative and abusive a person like that really is. Being Himemiya's brother (somewhat justified in the manga by both being a weird Sailor Moon-esque reincarnation of gods/godesses of Dios), despite how much of his motives are runing the background and how the entire back story is  uh...brought up in like barely in the last arc with little lead up (some scenes feel like they'd be a full melodrama season and they just have like 1 scene in the final arc episodes) he manages to one-up Touga (in the plot as well) by instead of "just" objectifying girls, not-just-flat out saying Utena looks best as a princess, but y'know the fact that he is implicitly yet constantly exploiting and victim-blaming Anthy for her own suffering for "the power of Dios/Revolution of the world" turns it on its head

I've spent all this time on characters but in truth a lot of the meat of the show relies again on the Council Members fleshing out the issues of system leading to outright divorcing "being a Prince" (heroic altruistic virtues) and "being a man" (considering like all but maybe the comedic relief have some deliberately misogynistic behavior) and beyond just the plot (or rather character) synopsis, the talent goes far more in how it's framed, the symbolic/allegorical shots, the repetition adding a good episode formula flow to character showcases, probably the most "tasteful" allusion to uh...*ahem* sexual abuse that so many other edgier/prentious shows fumble. Both in how intimidating yet understated it's foreshadowing is until they hard-reveal it despite never explicitly naming it even tho it sends Nanami into hysterics

Really it's both a massive blessing and reason for it's cult beloved status for it's aesthetics but also it's burden, for being a full 39 episodic season by season character development study of everyone BUT the main trio except for snippets and the very end that makes it greatly appreciable as a legitimate work of art.

What I wanted more to say however (long overdue) is that a large part of following is, visibly at least, western feminist critiques and yes while it almost seems like Utena fits the "deconstructing patriarchy" story like a glove...it's weird how almost none of them actually can give a good historical account of actual Japanese female/gender/sexuality norms nor Anime contemporaries actually were. Like Tenchi Muyo and Berserk came out the same year (Cardcaptor Sakura the next) and despite how you can "feel" the influence in lots of modern shows like SHAFT's signature visual imagery cuts or many WESETERN shows having straight scene references to Utena....almost no one has a similar feel to Utena until like Princess Tutu comes out.

Really tho probably should've watched Utena and then Tutu because while it's undeniable that Utena is a major pillar of shoujo re-codification - what with everyone before Utena was saying they thought it'd be like a Rose of Versaille or Lady Knight rip-off...whose laughing now? - it's almost like there's a missing link between it and it's major western fanbase (probably with what few anime did get overseas, this one probably rose to the top), or how very noticeable there IS an influence on it's genre in Japan

Almost none of the big analyst fans actually know A) it's not "a deconstruction of Magical Girls" since despite Ikuhara working on Sailor Moon just before this, almost none of the tropes line up and instead more with Shoujo genre as a whole. or  one of the major inspirations was Takarazuka theater.

And this is not to dismiss how inspirational it is to it's western fandom, but while I am notably cynical towards placing things on pedestals, there's probably something about cultivating the whole pop-culture feminist reading commune with people making weird time-loop theories while kinda most of it is just filling in a mad-lib mostly thanks to Ikuhara just keeping things on the vague and letting the audience take away their own perspective.

Again, most of the show is completely sub-textual or visually/symbolically depicted and never stated nor properly defines it's weird key words (End of the World, Revolutionize the World, Power of Dios, Rose Bride, all things said constantly but never really said what they "mean". But that's also perhaps its charm, in it's allegory and very Death of the Author approach, it has definitely allowed it's fan theorizing and appreciation to flourish so there's something there for that.

Ultimately I'd say Utena the TV series is great more so for what it isn't...or rather I should say it's great for not just subverting Shoujo tropes and archetypes for the Japanese audience but also that despite dealing with some very serious and heavy subjects in obtuse and perhaps understated ways for the time, people have allowed it to be put on it's pedestal because they can easily fit it in themselves.

Honestly though, not that a more "straight forward" approach wouldn't detract from Utena but I will say that the movie, Adolescence of Utena, is very much the best encapsulation of what Utena strives to be (for another big blog post) and while the TV series has plenty of time and flexes it's directorial muscles with budget constraints and season pacing UNrestrained, the movie will trim a lot of the fat

[maybedefinitely404]

For You Became My Lighthouse (Part 2)

Genre: hurt/comfort

Pairing: romantic Prinxiety

Content: argument, crying, a decent dose of awkward but it gets resolved!

Word count: 4.1k

Comment: This is the fourth time I’ve tried to post this--- Part 1 HERE!

Roman, is everything alright?

-Logan

Roman ran a hand through his hair at the message, checking the time at the top of the screen. It was late, far too late, so it was safe to assume that Logan had heard about the spat from Virgil. He should have been home by now. It was just… impossible to convince himself to actually leave the rehearsal studio. He had a younger acting class tomorrow and was perfecting his lesson plan- even though he already knew it was perfect, and his director had already approved it. Just, anything to keep him from going home.

He’d been a dick. Such was obvious; from the second his finger had hit send, he regretted approximately everything in his life that had led to this moment. That day had been particularly bad, overrun with rehearsals he was either taking part in or directing, and gearing up for tech week of a large production. Who knew trying to block a scene with a flurry of pre-teens could take so much out of you? Rinse and repeat the cycle with two more classes to teach back to back and an achingly long dance rehearsal, add in a desperate and fruitless search for a replacement lead in his upcoming directorial debut, and you’d have what Roman would categorize as a “shit show of a day”. 

All he wanted to do at the end of it was spend some time with his boyfriend, without having to talk about his day, so he’d suggested the most basic date his fried brain could conjur. Then his work desk was unceremoniously reacquainted with his forehead as he smacked it into the wood, letting out a groan that bordered on a yell. Luckily, minutes ago everyone had abandoned the theatre, and he’d been trusted with the keys to lock up from a stagehand. He just had a couple more things to do, and then he could drive home. 

Getting a reply of denial from Virgil was nothing new. In fact, he’d been warned in the transition from reluctant acquaintanceship to inevitable friendship, that he tended to veto ideas if they were sudden, or too daunting, or if he was just feeling shitty. It was something that Roman never considered a deal breaker, and he’d slowly come to much rather enjoy a night of cuddling and watching television than going out anyways. Call it ‘getting old’, call it ‘Virgil’s homebody ways creeping into his psyche’. So usually, getting his plans rejected was no big deal. 

Except for today, when he was well and past his limit of frustration, and things not going to plan. He’d typed out and sent the snarky reply far before he’d thought it out whatsoever, and ranted out complaints that hadn’t ever crossed his mind before, which he immediately regretted. In a moment of shame so great it caused physical nausea, he tossed his phone into one of his desk drawers and slammed it shut. 

It buzzed once, twice, and then went silent. 

Until, of course, it began to go berserk an indecipherable amount of time later, and Roman couldn’t ignore it. Seeing Logan’s text, along with about a million missed calls from him and Patton, broke the fragile sense of calm he’d tried to achieve while working. 

He didn’t want to go home and face his consequences. Childish, yes. Well deserved, also yes, but he was afraid of Virgil’s inevitable anger. If this led to a breakup, a fight that wasn’t recoverable, he’d never forgive himself. 

And now…

Roman, is everything alright?

-Logan

I can see you’ve read my text message.

-Logan

I’m at work. 

You’re inconceivably moronic. Get home. Now.

-Logan

Roman sighed heavily through his nose, clenching his jaw. He began typing out another snarky response- because apparently he never learned- when another text came through.

Virgil was in significant distress last I spoke to him and he has stopped answering me and Patton. Go. Home.

-Logan

Please. If not for my sake, then for Virgil’s.

-Logan

Fuck.

Roman barely had the sense to lock the doors of the building in his rush, throwing the spare key back in through the mail slot and booking it to his car. He sent some sort of confirmation that he was going and tossed the phone to his back seat. Virgil hated when he used it while driving.

It was only on the drive back, on unusually empty roads, did he realize it was well past nine. He hadn’t even noticed the time passing by.

Most of the lights in the apartment complex were still on when he pulled into the car park, but their window visible on this side showed only darkness. He wasn’t used to entering a dark apartment.

Their flat was silent, the living room only illuminated by the oven clock and the dim city lights from the balcony. He toed off his shoes as silently as he could, wincing when he kicked their shoe rack, and decided he’d risk turning on the light. When he finally found the switch and flicked it on, he couldn’t help his gasp. 

The room had once been a pristine display, he could tell. A white table cloth adorned their usually bare dining room table and a half burned candle stood as its centrepiece. He approached it in a daze, cautiously resting a hand on the plate of ravioli nearest to him. Cold. Long cold; the pasta was starting to get crusty. 

He picked up the two plates, intent on throwing out the food. It definitely wasn’t safe to eat anymore, and he didn’t feel like warding off an attack of ants in the morning. One of the towels hanging off the oven handle was drenched in what looked like marinara sauce, and it looked like there was some more spilled in the crack between the stove and the counter. That would be fun to clean. 

Both hands full, he opened the cupboard containing the garbage bin with a socked foot, and promptly froze. 

Part of him cringed at the clang the dropped plates made on the counter, but the louder part of him was just repeating a mantra of ‘holy shit, holy shit, holy shit’ and it was considerably out-screaming the other. Hands now shaking, Roman picked up the small box from the sink edge, ignoring the dried, crunchy texture of more tomato sauce on the outside, and opened it. 

It took every ounce of strength for Roman not to collapse to his knees, guilt instantly crushing the air from his lungs, a thousand times heavier than it had been before. An elaborate dinner, a ring… there had been a plan. That’s why Virgil had rejected his offer to go out. 

And he’d been such a dick to him. 

Speaking of which, where was he?

Roman closed the box and set it back where it had been. Their bedroom door was slightly ajar, and the most obvious place Virgil would be, so he padded over and creaked it open just a bit more. The light from the hallway cast a beam onto the bed, illuminating first a mess of hastily thrown clothes; his button up shirt he only used for fancy occasions on top of the pile. 

Virgil’s huddled form was easy to make out, curled away from the door, his only movement being the steady rise and fall of the blanket as he breathed. Figaro lifted his head from where he was settled in the crook of Virgil’s knees and gave Roman an indifferent mrow. 

He couldn’t get into bed with him. There was no scenario where that was the right move. It wasn’t the right time to talk about what had happened, not so late and when they were both riding high on emotions and tiredness, so accidentally waking Virgil was not the way to go. And even if he was sneaky enough to not wake him… a part of him just felt it was wrong. Not when he didn’t know Virgil’s stance on him at the moment.

Or his stance on the relationship.

Well, couch it was. He acknowledged the crumpled weighted blanket and sound blocking headphones- clear aftermath of a bad panic attack- with a quiet curse. Somehow that pit in his stomach got even bigger, making him nauseous as his shame took a physical form. 

He could only pray that they would come back from this. 

Roman’s sleep was fitful, to say the least. At best, he drifted into a state of half-consciousness, where his thoughts could be somewhat quieted down, but the discomfort of the couch and the heavy weight in his heart were still palpable. Inevitably, one of their neighbors would make a noise or the building would make a settling creak or a distant dog would bark, and the state would be broken, leaving Roman wide awake and wracked with guilt once more. He’d never noticed how loud the world was until he wanted nothing more than for the noise to stop. 

The sun was just peaking into the window when their bedroom door widened and Roman flew up, using the back of the couch to steady his sudden sitting position. When their eyes met from across the room, Virgil in his pajamas and face hidden in shadow, a tenseness settled over the room that neither had experienced in their relationship thus far. Virgil froze in the doorway, wavering slightly. It didn’t appear he wanted to be the one to break the silence. 

Roman stood slowly, as though not to spook him.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Virgil whispered with a sniff, and even in that one word Roman could hear the scratchiness of his voice. “I just...uhm,” He cleared his throat, “I just wanted to get some water. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I was already awake. No… no worries.” 

Virgil looked down to his feet. “When did you come back?”

“I think just before ten.”

“‘Kay.”

For an all too long moment, both of them seemed to find interest in every part of the room that wasn’t the other’s eyes. It wasn’t until Roman looked towards the kitchen in his awkwardness did he process what Virgil had come out for. 

“I’ll, um…” He pointed weakly to the kitchen and finally convinced his feet to move, filling up a glass from the sink while making a conscious effort to not look at the dishes or wasted food from the evening before. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop the way his gaze drifted towards the box sitting next to the tap, and judging by Virgil’s sharp inhale, the look hadn’t been subtle. 

He took the glass back to the other, watching him take it with an uncomfortable, “Thanks.”

Virgil downed the glass in one go, his shaking hands almost causing him to spill. He barely had time to take a breath before Roman had zipped the empty glass back onto the counter.

“Do you want more?” He asked, already refilling the glass.

“No, I’m… it’s okay.” 

Roman placed the full glass on the counter quietly and the two were swallowed by heavy silence once again. The clock ticked impossibly loud as they stood, fidgeting, wanting this moment to be over but not wanting to be the one to start it. 

Virgil took a shuddering breath and wrung his hands together.

Roman stared resolutely at a single water drop making its way down the glass.

This was his fault. He’d started it. It seemed only right that he break the tension that almost suffocated him, so even as his mind screamed for him to shut up and every muscle in his body turned to liquid, he opened his mouth to speak.

“Virgil, I-”

“I’m sorry.”

That effectively stopped Roman in his tracks. All night, he’d crafted a collection of apologies, from eloquent monologues to stumbling pleas for forgiveness, but in not one of his countless scenarios had Virgil apologized. 

“I know… I know I can be a lot to handle, I know, I swear. And I was more outgoing when we first met, because I thought I had something to prove and it always exhausted me and I hated it but then we became… I don’t know, official? And closer and… and more comfortable and I didn’t think I had to do that anymore, I didn’t have to keep pushing myself so far!”

“V, stop-”

“The panic attacks and the anxiety and all that shit are a lot for other people and I know that but I didn’t know it was too much for you, I didn’t know you were tired of that and I can be better, I swear, I swear I can go back to how I was in the beginning, just please don’t leave.”

Virgil let out a choked sob and Roman couldn’t stop himself from rushing forward, intent on holding his stupid, stupid boyfriend until he realized this was in no way his fault, only for Virgil to back up before he could do so.

“I’m- I’m not trying to guilt you, I’m sorry, I just, I love you, and I can be better, I can, just give me a chance, please-”

“Virgil, baby, come here.”

This time when he reached forward, Virgil allowed himself to be pulled into his boyfriend’s chest, basically collapsing against him as soon as Roman’s arms tightened around him. The dam broke moments later and Virgil finally let go of his own hands to grab the back of Roman’s shirt with a sense of urgency.

“Please don’t leave, I’m so sorry,” he begged raspily into Roman’s shoulder.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

Roman hung onto him almost as tightly in return, rocking them back and forth, finally allowing himself to cry. He shoved his face into Virgil’s hair, peppering small kisses and apologies to the crown of his head in between sobs. 

Virgil whined when Roman finally pulled away, but he didn’t go far, cradling his boyfriend’s face in his hands and wiping his tacky cheeks with his thumbs.

“Virgil, I cannot apologize enough for yesterday.”

“What are-” he hiccuped, “What are you talking about? It was my fault.”

“No, no, no no no no no,” Roman whispered, fighting that damn lump in his throat once more. “I had a spectacularly shitty day, and I took it out on you. I was leagues out of line. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m so, so unbelievably sorry.” 

As if the strings were cut on a marionette, all the tenseness dissolved from Virgil’s shoulders and he slumped forward, bumping his head weakly into Roman’s chest. “Can we sit down?”

“Yeah, of course.” Roman clumsily led him to the couch and sat on the adjacent cushion, assuming that if Virgil wanted to talk, he’d want his own space. His assumption was incorrect, however, judging by how Virgil crossed the space almost instantly and buried himself in Roman’s side like a koala. He shifted them both until he was laying on his back, Virgil splayed across him .

“I thought you’d be more upset with me,” He muttered, freeing his hand to run it through Virgil’s hair. His fingers raked through his own tears trapped in the locks and he grimaced.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” responded Virgil, accompanied by a shuddering breath, “I just need to know that you’re really here. And I need you.”

They were quiet for a moment, watching the sun begin to peek through their window, until Virgil spoke again sardonically.

“If this is a dream, I’m gonna be so pissed.”

Roman snorted despite himself and felt Virgil’s responding half-laugh from where he was tucked against him.  

“I agree. I thought I’d fucked up for good this time.”

A disgruntled meow made Roman crane his neck over the couch, watching Figaro stretch languidly in their bedroom doorway. The cat sidled over to his food bowl and sat pointedly next to it. Feed me. 

“Later, Figaro,” Roman groaned, all too comfortable with Virgil as his blanket. A small part of him was worried that if he moved them at all, the spell would be broken, and they’d lose whatever peace they’d settled into. 

Well, that wouldn’t do at all, not by Figaro’s standards. The cat gave an upset mewl and trotted over to the couch, leaping up with grace and batting Virgil’s legs. It was that pettish action that made Roman realize that Virgil had turned stone still on his lap. Figaro changed his approach to headbutting at his arm in a clear attempt to get pets, but Virgil’s hand stayed still by their sides. 

“What’s going through your head?” Roman murmured. 

“That stuff you said, about me… not contributing to the relationship…” Virgil croaked, and Roman stilled,  “What can I do to-… to fix that? Because I wanna fix it.”

“Baby, no,” Roman whispered, that shame-nausea returning, “I-” He groaned, dropping his head onto the arm of the couch behind him, “I was being an asshole. I didn’t mean that.”

Virgil didn’t budge, still deliberately ignoring Figaro’s futile begging for attention. “Then where did it come from?”

He took a breath deep enough that Virgil rose and fell with his chest, and Roman was struck with the profound urge to pull him closer and never let him go. But that would likely make him feel trapped, and that wasn’t productive. “You remember when I dragged you to that improv show my students put on last year?”

“You introduced me as your boyfriend and we found out the class had placed bets on whether you were gay or not. I don’t know how it wasn’t obvious.”

Roman gasped in mock offense. “Maybe they just were trying not to stereotype!”

“Your phone case is a rainbow-”

“Anyways!” He interrupted, resuming his gentle threading through Virgil’s hair, who snorted but otherwise gave in to the affection. “Remember what happened after?”

“Mmhm.”

It had been a fantastic show, and Roman had been exceedingly proud of his little students, especially since it was his first time ever teaching a class. After the night, when the betting chaos had settled and everyone quickly adopted Virgil as theirs now, they’d pleaded to play a few more improv games before the theatre closed. Seeing as it was their last class, hence the performance in the first place, Roman had acquiesced. But neither of the men had expected for the gang of pre-teens to latch onto Virgil and beg him to play too, despite him having zero theatre experience. 

“Remember what they said?”

“They tried to pack all your lectures into five minutes of information.”

“I don’t lecture, I dazzle.” 

“They thought you were straight.” 

“Only some, and that’s not the point!”

Virgil finally lifted his head, pulling his hands up so he could lay his chin on top of them. He smiled weakly. “Then what is the point?”

“The most important rule of improv is to keep the scene going. No matter what nonsense you have to pull out, just never leave a scene flat.”

There was a quiet moment while the other processed that before, once again, that layer of hurt reappeared on his face. He pushed himself off Roman’s chest in preparation to get up. “So… you’re saying you saw that argument as another scene you had to keep up.”

“No, shit, that came out wrong,” Roman insisted, and Virgil paused suspiciously, “I’m saying, that in a moment of panic, I fell back on bullshitting my way through it! That’s literally what I do for a living!” 

The distrust gave way to resignment and Virgil chewed on his cheek, turning his attention to the window. He sat all the way up on Roman’s legs, leaning back on his shins. “How do I know you’re not bullshitting me right now?” He said. 

“Because,” Roman followed him up, careful not to move his legs and dislodge his boyfriend, “You know I like when the bed is made, and even though you hate making it, you always do when I’m out of the house before you.”

Virgil looked down at his thumb.

“Because you let me choose the music in the car.”

“... you don’t like loud music,” He muttered, picking at the skin around his cuticle.

“You adjust your work schedule to come to every single one of my shows.”

He shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yeah, but you hate working mornings. You let me rant about all my theatre stuff, even if you don’t get any of it.”

“I’m learning.” A faint smile was breaking through.

“You tell me when there’s spinach in my teeth, or my hair is messy, or if I’m acting like an asshole.”

“Well, that’s easy enough.”

Roman reciprocated the smile at that, taking Virgil’s hands in his own to stop the attack at his nail. “I’ve been watching you better yourself for years, even if it’s been really, really hard.”

“What does that have to do with us?” Virgil asked with a small blush, switching his fidgeting tactic to fiddling with Roman’s fingers. 

“Every time you do something that betters yourself, you help us, Virgil.” He leaned forward slowly, giving Virgil the time to move away if he wanted to, and rested their foreheads together. “Yesterday, I fucked up. Badly. You said you were anxious and I still acted like a dick. I kinda thought you’d hate me.”

“I could never hate you,” Virgil whispered, seemingly before he had a chance to process it, because his blush multiplied tenfold. Roman grinned. 

“Aw, is someone feeling sappy?”

“Shut up, jackass,” He retorted, bonking their heads together ever so gently. 

“I’m so sorry, Virgil,” Roman said after their giggles and blushes had faded, “It won’t happen again, I swear.” 

In lieu of answering, Virgil closed the already scant distance between their lips, and despite Roman using all of his self control to not sigh into it, he found himself doing so anyways. All the tension bled out of his shoulders at once as Virgil pulled away, pressing one more peck to the tip of his nose, and then leaning back with a small smile. 

“So… that means we’re good?”

“We’re good.”

“Thank god,” Roman groaned, flopping back and dropping his arm over his eyes dramatically. He heard Virgil’s quiet snicker before he resumed his job as a blanket. Except this time, instead of nuzzling his head into Roman’s neck, he could feel the distinct edge of a chin digging into his sternum.

The hand lifted from his eyes to see Virgil staring at him, that goofy little smirk on his face. 

“What?”

“I love you, idiot.”

Well, now they were wearing matching goofy little smirks. 

“I love you too.” 

That seemed to satiate him, because he gave a little nod and laid his head more comfortably on the other’s chest. He could have left the conversation there, content to just let them lay there in peace until the world fell away- or Figaro grew more insistent on being fed- but Roman just couldn’t banish the one persistent thought in the back of his mind. 

“Were you actually going to propose?” He blurted.

Virgil tensed for a moment, and then gave a resigned sigh. “...Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Roman furrowed his eyebrows, desperately hoping he sounded casual, though his heart was pounding far too loudly to not be heard, “I would have said yes. If you did.”

“Oh?” Virgil lifted his head. “You’re blushing, Princey.” He could hear the smug grin.

“Nooo…” Roman whined. His arm draped once more over his eyes in a weak attempt to hide the redness, but he drew it away only moments later when Virgil didn’t retort. 

The man was staring at him with an odd mix of disappointment and amusement, huffing out a breath as he watched Roman’s eyes.

“This wasn’t how I was planning to propose,” He sighed, “It was supposed to be all perfect, and romantic, and stuff. And the surprise is ruined now.”

“I’m sorry,” whispered Roman, continuing before Virgil could cut him off, “If it’s any consolation, I think a proposal in our pajamas, on the couch, would be very us.”

“You’re not in pajamas.”

“I slept in these clothes, they count as pajamas.”

Virgil snickered. Roman counted five breaths as the other’s face melted from a smile to anxiously knit brows, worrying his lip between his teeth as he looked down at him. It took another three for him to speak.

 “So…uh... will you…?”

Roman’s face split into a grin, “Yes, Virgil. Obviously.” 

Virgil’s expression morphed to match his and he swooped down to kiss him again, though they barely could with how much they were smiling. They both devolved into giggles, happy to just stay wrapped in each other’s arms, until Virgil broke away with a gasp.

“Let me grab the ring!”

“Ring can wait,” Roman argued, tightening his grip around his waist to keep him in place, “I want cuddles.”

And so they did.

Taglist:

@max-is-tired

@private-snippers

@joylessnightsky

@marshymoop

@larkiaquail

@noemiescuriosity

@mycatshuman

@cirishere

@vpow

@ray-does-stuff

@sirprplsnail

[snipsnsnailsnwerewolftales]

Blue Moon - Part 3

A/N: See masterlist for prompts used. (And the list of amazing people who have helped me with this.) What’s this? What’s this?! Yes, I have decided to be kind and give you part 3 early! After this, updates will resume as normal, as stated on the Masterlist. ……..Unless I crumble again, and cave, and post early, but we’re not talking about that. *ahem* Surprise!

I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.

Warnings: See Masterlist

Word count: 3,037

Xxx

After everything had been cleaned up, and Derek was resting peacefully on his bed, the pack left, giving you a quiet reassuring word, pat on the shoulder, or kind look, offering their time if you needed to talk.

Thanking them, you slid the door closed, letting your forehead slump against it lightly. Your breathing was deep, trying to gather yourself from the chaos of the day. Comfortable silence settled around you and you smiled softly before turning to survey the now empty loft. 

Derek was sitting up on the edge of his bed staring at the floor between his feet, and you jumped slightly before walking over to him slowly.

“You feeling better, champ?” you said playfully. 

His shoulders shaking in a silent laugh, he finally looked up to you. “I am, thanks to you.”

“Pfffft,” you waved him off dismissively. “If I hadn’t been here you would have kicked ass for me.” You grinned as he shook his head disbelievingly. 

“Learn to take a compliment, okay?” His gaze held yours, his own grin climbing. 

“I will, but you see, that requires you to give them more often so I can understand what this new sensation is and associate it with a compliment from the mighty Derek Hale.”

He snorted out a laugh, shaking his head as he stared at the floor again. For some reason it was hard for him to meet your gaze, something that had only gotten worse after today’s events. 

Cupping his cheek, you made him meet your eyes and held them there for a second. You didn’t miss how he melted slightly into your palm as if to seek out more of your touch. 

“Derek, look at me. I will fight for you, the pack will fight for you, but you have to let us. You’re not responsible for everything that goes wrong. The world just sucks sometimes. So do Stilinski’s plan’s, but that’s an argument for a different time.” You both smiled gently at each other. 

Your thumb traced his cheek bone, and his eyes fluttered shut as a sigh passed his lips, fully leaning into your hand. “I know.” His voice was small and quiet, not typical of the Alpha bravado you were used to. 

“I know you do.”

You let things sit in the comfortable silence for a few moments more before broaching the topic you had wanted to all night. 

“What’s going on with you and Jennifer?”

He went stiff in your hold, not pulling back, but obviously on edge. “Why do you ask?”

“I just….” You bit your lip, looking down and to the side as you studied the floor hoping it held your words. Derek’s finger hooked under your chin and tilting your face back up to look into his made you gulp before letting out a heavy sigh. 

Closing your eyes briefly as you gathered your thoughts. You almost forgot them when his hand cupped your cheek, thumb stroking your cheek bone like you had him, and you melted. 

Letting one last soft sigh leave your lips, you took a deep breath and met his eyes again as you spoke softly. “I just, I have a bad feeling about her. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s something I can’t shake.”

You sat back on your haunches, effectively removing his hand from your face and yours from his. Your gaze went back to searching the floor, eyes darting up to meet his as you spoke, gauging his reactions as you continued. 

“You’re different when you’re around her. Earlier on the phone your personality did a one eighty as soon as you knew it was her, and you practically rushed me out of my own home.”

“You didn’t have to come with me,” he said somewhat standoffishly. 

You scoffed. “Yes, I did. You won’t let me leave your sight unless I’m at school with the pack! If anything, tonight proved I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

“That’s for your own safety! The Alpha pack is dangerous and-”

“And so am I, Derek.”

He stared at you, no response coming. 

“I’m just trying to look out for you. It’s almost like she’s lulling you into a false sense of security.” Derek scoffed. “Think about it, Derek. When did she show up? What weird thing coincided with her arrival? I have only been in this world for all of five minutes-”

“Five months isn’t five minutes-”

“Thank you for counting, but you know what I mean.”

Silence settled around you both once again. 

“I have barely been in this world, and already it’s showed me enough to trust my instincts, and they tell me something is off. I’m just looking out for you, Derek.”

“Well, thank you, but I can look out for myself,” he snapped. “I’ve been doing it for years.”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose and scrunching your eyes shut. “I’m going to bed, I’m exhausted.”

Right then a tentative knock on the loft door drew your attention, and you turned to see it slide open to reveal the bit- wit- woman of the hour.

Spinning back around to see Derek’s unapologetic gaze, you held your ground, your voice the only thing giving way. “She’s back?” Your voice was almost venomous.

Derek shrugged. “It’s my loft.”

Grabbing your duffle from earlier as you brushed past her shoulder, you swear you saw her smirk. 

“Where are you going, Y/N?” Derek sounded slightly concerned but mostly annoyed. 

“I don’t know, Derek. But far from here.”

“Y/N, it’s dangerous-”

“So am I, Derek,” you seethed. Eyes leveled on his, he huffed out a sigh. “So am I.”

Jennifer opened her mouth like she was going to say something to you, but you held a finger up in her face. “You don’t get to talk to me outside of the school.”

She scoffed, her mouth snapping shut, and she turned wide eyes to Derek. 

Turning back to face him, you grabbed your set of keys, shrugging on your jacket. “Let me know when your loft is empty again.” You were tempted to say “habitable”, but knew the shit storm that would start.

“Where are you going, Y/N?” He stood up, aggravated now. 

“Like I said, I don’t know. But like I also said, if tonight proved anything, I can take care of myself.” You looked down to the keys in your hand, still covered in his blood from earlier, and you held them up by your face for emphasis, making him close his mouth, drawing it into a tight line as he stared at your wiggling fingers. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled.

“You’re welcome,” you mumbled back, fiddling with the keys. 

Looking to Jennifer once more, trying to contain your disdain, you looked back to Derek with a sigh. “I’ll stay with someone in the pack, just to be on the safe side. We still have to come up with our plan for this.” You wiggled your fingers still covered in his blood so he knew what you were talking about without going into specifics in front of the she-devil. He nodded briefly. 

“Let me give you a ride,” he said, going for his own keys. 

“No, Derek,” you let out on an exhausted breath. “You don’t have to come with me.” You parroted his words back at him.

Letting the loft door close with a gentle thud, you swiped at angry tears before they fell and made your way down the steps, dialing Stiles’ number. 

“Hey, Stiles. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

Xxx

“I’ll kill him,” Stiles said matter of factly, rubbing circles into your shoulder with his thumbs where his hands rested, you curled up into him on the couch. The two of you had always had a close relationship, and tonight was no different. 

You let out a breathy chuckle. “No, you won’t, Stiles.”

“He hurt you!” He kept his arms around you, but pulled back enough to look at you. “With his words!” He looked off into the distance, “Which almost makes it worse, because Derek Hale does not use his words….”

“Stiles….”

“He’s like a mime. A very large, very violent mime….”

“Stiles!” you chuckled. 

“Hmmm? Yeah? What?” He zoned back in to the conversation, meeting your gaze again. 

Shaking your head gently with a smile, you snickered. “Just do what I do, and don’t call him ‘Derek’, I just call him ‘Dramatic’.” You quickly turned, a finger close to Stiles’ face, making him go slightly cross eyed if he focused on it. “But not out loud. In your mind. Out loud, you die.”

Stiles let out a loud laugh, and you giggled, fixing your feet where they were tucked under you, and leaned back into him. 

“On to more pleasant matters, Miss Jennifer Blake….”

You groaned, tossing your head back in the process, face screwed up like you ate a lemon. “I thought you said more pleasant matters, not her.”

Stiles chuckled as he went on, “I think you may be right about her.”

You sat up straight, pushing against his chest to look him in the face, jaw dropped in disbelief. “She’s evil? I can kick her out? Kick her butt? All of the above?”

“Woah, hold on, tiger,” Stiles said, snickering. “I just agree something is off about her, and the way she and Derek are, I get heebee jeebee vibes more than usual. …..And not just because it repulses me to see him in a relationship. Blech.” Stiles shuddered dramatically, making you smile and cast a glare at him at the same time.

“But on the note of kicking ass-” Stiles perked up, changing the subject, thankfully- “you kicked some serious Alpha ass back at the loft!” Stiles grinned down at you, and you couldn’t help but look down sheepishly. “I mean, can we talk about the awesomeness of you?!”

You laughed at this, looking up through your eyelashes at him, feeling your cheeks tinge pink in slight embarrassment, but your grin broad with pride. “I was kinda awesome, wasn’t I?” You lifted your face up fully to look at him straight on. “You wanna know a secret?”

He leaned into you, nodding almost imperceptibly, mouth slightly ajar and eyebrows raised in anticipation. 

“Half the stuff I don’t even know how I did it. It was just instinct.”

“Get out,” Stiles said in mock surprise, and you playfully shoved his shoulder. “You mean you’re like all my other ‘new’ friends-” you felt yourself making the same face that you had in the hall at school, now realizing it was a distinctly Stilinski reaction- “and are just inherently good at things now that you have been cursed?”

You knit your eyebrows together, and you both spoke in unison, “The bite is a gift, not a curse.”

“See? I told you. Sourwolf Syndrome.”

You just shook your head at Stiles and rolled your eyes.

“No, but seriously, Stiles!” You adjusted your position on the couch once again, grabbing your ankle tucked under you with one hand, the other bracing your elbow on the back of the couch as you gestured while you spoke. Another intrinsic Stilinski thing to do. 

“I literally did some of that stuff and in my head I was just saying, ‘What did I just do?’ over and over and over again.” You looked Stiles in the eyes, his face amused but serious at the same time. “Don’t get me wrong, Derek is a great teacher-” Stiles let out a “Pfffft” and looked away disbelievingly, waving that thought away with his hand- “he is!” The look he leveled on you, lips pursed, eyebrows raised, head tilted slightly down and to the side, had you chuckling. “But he never taught me some of that.”

“Maybe you were a superhero in a past life, or something,” Stiles mused, his eyes dancing playfully.

“Or a supervillain,” you countered, grinning in a way you hoped looked evil and mischievous but probably, with your luck, looked more like a grimace.

“This is highly plausible.” He nodded in agreement, looking off into the distance and scratching his neck as his head bobbed. 

His arm was braced behind you on the couch, outstretched, and he pulled it in close, scooping you towards him, holding you tight to his chest, his cheek against your hair as he spoke. “Either way, can I have your autograph?”

You laughed, the silence comfortable between you, until it was broken by Stiles’ phone going off on the coffee table. This was the second time this had happened today. You swore, if it had anything to do with Jennifer again….

“Oh, look. The bell.” You mimicked his words from earlier today at school, making him level a small glare on you, to which you just grinned. 

“I was thinking on my feet.”

“Are you sure you weren’t thinking with your feet?”

“How does that…. That makes literally no sense, Y/N. Do better.” He shook his head in disapproval of your joke, making you giggle, as he finally answered the call. 

“Scott, hey, what’s the big-” 

Because of your enhanced hearing, you didn’t need to move closer to hear the other end of the phone call. 

Something about some scuffle that went down at the old abandoned mall with the Alpha pack, he was cut up but it should heal soon, the others were okay, but they think Derek is dead.

Your mind went numb. 

“They ‘think’?” you asked Stiles. 

“We couldn’t get to him, we had to get out….” You couldn’t pay attention as Scott’s voice faded out and all you heard is the short panicked breaths you’re making. 

“Scott, I’ll call you back,” you heard Stiles say, hanging up even though Scott’s voice kept going, and taking your face in his hands firmly. “Y/N, breathe.”

“I am breathing.”

“That’s not breathing, that’s hyperventilating.”

You can’t help the slight twitch upward of your lips, and appreciated his trying to distract you, but you just felt your eyes start to glow. Reaching up you grabbed his wrists and screwed your eyes shut. 

“Breathe.” He elongated the word, his voice soft, and stroked your cheeks with his thumbs, still firmly holding your face in his hands. 

“He can’t be dead, Stiles.” You opened your eyes, knowing they have returned to their human color, but now they held tears threatening to fall.

“You’re right, we don’t know, that sucker has been dead to me multiple times, literally, and it never really took. I think he makes it to the afterlife and they just kick him back as ‘return to sender’.” You chuckled sadly, tears finally falling. “And don’t even get me started on Peter.” You groaned. 

“Stiles, I’m serious.”

“So am I!”

“No!” His thumbs stilled as your grip on his wrists tightened, and you screwed your eyes shut again. “No.” You lowered your voice this time, trying to be calm, and gave his wrists a reassuring squeeze before loosening your hold again. Meeting his eyes, you willed your tears to stop. “You don’t understand, Stiles. Scott isn’t a member of the pack. I am. When Erica died, it was just like Cora said- like losing a limb. I would feel if my Alpha was dead.”

“You don’t know that-”

“But I do. It’s like the fight, it’s an instinct. I just know, Stiles.” He resumed rubbing your cheeks with his thumb, swiping errant tears away. “I just know.”

You sniffled, squeezing his wrists one more time and then rising from the couch before he quickly caught your hand, stopping you. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to go look for him!”

“It’s not safe, Y/N-”

“Why does everyone keep telling me that?!” you yelled in frustration, your hands finding the few remaining tears as you try to calm yourself once again. “This whole world is dangerous, Stiles! It comes with the territory! Everyone else got to go help, meanwhile I was stuck here-”

“Geeze, say what you really feel,” Stiles cut you off, his voice somewhat offended, but his face was determined. 

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant, I just….” You cradled the side of your face with the hand Stiles wasn’t still holding on to. “We should go look and see, he might need help.”

“If they all left, I can guarantee it was because it wasn’t safe for anyone, and Derek wouldn’t want everyone rushing into a situation like that for any reason, you know that.”

He was right. You wouldn’t admit it to him, but he was. You looked down at the carpet as he spoke. 

“Look, I have that out of town meet tomorrow with the rest of the pack. We will all come up with some solution, meanwhile, you stay here.” His voice extended on the last few words as his grip tightened on your wrist like he knew you would put up a fight, meeting your gaze dead on when you leveled wide eyes on him. 

“You stay here,” he continued, holding your gaze, “and see if he shows up at all. Check the hospitals, the police station, stuff like that, just avoid the loft because they already know you live there and the vet clinic because Deaton will let Scott know the second something happens. I can’t ask my dad to help at all, he doesn’t know anything about this world, and he won’t take me seriously if I ask too many questions. I have no idea why the man thinks I am always scheming.”

“Because you are,” you said softly. “You are right now, Stiles.”

“Just living up to my namesake,” he grinned, making you chuckle despite your tears. 

“When we get back, we’ll handle this, but for now, just stay here. You can stay in my room, I’ll tell my dad you just didn’t want to be home alone while your parents are out of town, and once we get back, unless we call and something has changed-”

“Stiles-” you gripped his face in your hands- “breathe.”

He chuckled, grabbing your wrists like you had his. “I am breathing,” he countered. 

“No, you’re scheming,” you corrected, both of you grinning at the other. 

“It'll be okay, Y/N. We’ll sort this out.”

Xxx

Tags: @mayahart02, @palaiasaurus64, @shydinosaurcandy, @lucyqueenofthestars, @c-breanne1999, @l4life, @ethereallysimple, @teenwolffan-with-nolife, @bellabadacadabra, @lilostif16, @wandas-love, @emily500, @babygirl-angel-love, @c-dizzle99 What’s This?

[bright-molina]

Emergency Contact

synopsis: Sometimes it takes an accident and the revelation that Buck is Luke's emergency contact to really bring the Buckley-Mercer (et al) Family to the same page.

fandoms: Julie and the Phantoms x 911

relationships/characters: Buckley!reader (gender neutral), Alex Mercer, Evan Buckley, Luke Patterson, Athena Grant, Maddie Buckley (all relationships are familial/platonic)

word count: 2503

warnings: mentions of minor injuries (and I mean minor, sprained ankle, minor concussion is all)

a/n: @biqherosix surprise! Catch me pushing the Buckley-Mercer family agenda cause I can. For anyone wondering, we're running with the idea that they're cousins. I honestly have no idea where this came from, I wrote it at like midnight yesterday. And it only figures that the first thing I post in forever is a crossover that is mostly self-indulgent but I promise I'm trying to get the hang of things again.

For those of y'all that haven't seen 911 but still wanna read: one, I appreciate you so much oh my gosh, two, I highly recommend it and three, all you really need to know for this one is that Buck is a firefighter with the 118, Athena Grant is a police officer, and Maddie is Buck's older sister and a 911 dispatcher. If I missed anything and you wanna know feel more than free to ask!

The absolute last thing you expected was your phone ringing well past midnight.

“Don’t answer it.”

Alex’s voice sounded from beside you, muffled by the pile of blankets he was buried under. You rolled your eyes and reached for your phone only to have him snatch it out of your grip and stuff it under the blankets alongside him.

“Give it back!”

“No,” Alex crossed his arms tighter, ignoring the second ring completely. “It’s probably Buck checking to see if we’ve gone to sleep yet, if you answer he’ll know we’re still up.”

“Like Buck would voluntarily be up right now. He’s fifteen hours into a twenty four hour shift,” You leaned back against the couch, knowing there was no tearing the phone away from Alex. “Will you at least check who it is to make sure it’s not Maddie?”

Alex groaned, loud and exaggerated, before sticking his head underneath his blankets to check your phone. You were just barely able to hear his panicked ‘uh oh’ before he put on his best fake tired voice and answered, “Hello?”

“Alexander Mercer, what are you doing awake at this hour?”

“I wasn’t awake.”

“Sure you weren’t. Give the phone to y/n.”

He was handing you the phone in a flash and you could see his wide eyes in the dim blue light coming from the living room tv. “It’s Athena.”

“Thanks, I heard. And I told you so,” You smacked him with your pillow when he stuck his tongue out and he quickly ducked back under the blankets. Whether he was hiding from you or Athena was up for debate. “Hi Athena.”

“Y/N,” Uh oh was right. You recognized the tone in her voice immediately. Exasperated and tired with a little bit of worry laced through. “You wouldn’t be able to get ahold of Buck would you?”

“I could,” You sat up straighter and Alex peeked out from under the blankets again, craning his neck to listen in on the conversation. “Is something wrong? Can’t you call Captain Nash?”

“I could,” Athena echoed your words back to you and you heard muffled shouting in the back. “But Captain Nash isn’t Luke’s emergency contact.”

“His what!”

“It’s not a big deal!” Luke’s voice. It was him who had been shouting. “I’m fine!”

“The cast you’re wearing says different,” There was a click on the other end of the line and Alex tripped over the discarded blankets and pillows as he rushed to look for the car keys. “We couldn’t reach him and Maddie was his second emergency contact but May said she went home early today.”

“Yeah, uh, she -” You put on your shoes as fast as possible and reached for the nearest sweater, one you were sure wasn’t yours. “Jee’s teething so she - she’s probably busy with her. What happened? Luke -”

“Is fine. You just focus on getting to the station and bringing Buck to Med cause he’s gotta fill out some papers. I’ll stay here with him until you do.”

“Okay. Okay we’ll be there soon.”

“Y/N put me on speaker,” Athena must’ve been able to hear the panic in your voice. She knew both you and Alex well enough to know every emotion that was running through you both at that moment. “I want both of you to listen to me. Luke is okay. A little scratched up. Maybe a bruised ego. But he’s just fine, I promise you.”

If there was anybody you trusted it was Athena Grant. So you and Alex shared a look, thanked her, and sprinted out of the apartment wondering what on earth Luke had gotten himself into.

“What do you mean you don’t know!”

“Athena didn’t tell us anything!” You shouted right back at Buck despite knowing it probably wasn’t the best idea given the time or the circumstances. Alex was a few feet away, talking quietly to Chimney to have him relay a message to Maddie. She’d be less angry if the news came from him.

“I thought he went back home,” Buck shook his head before jogging down the stairs and you followed him. He all but charged to the locker room and started shoving all his things in the duffel he always carted with him from the apartment to the station and back. “I thought he was okay.”

It wasn’t until then, until you caught a glimpse of his reflection in the little mirror in his locker surrounded by pictures, that you realized something. Evan Buckley, the firefighter, your brother who always seemed so fearless, was scared.

Buck’s mind was racing at a million miles an hour. He kept going through every piece of information he could from the last two days. Luke had promised him. Sworn he was going back home to his parents. He should’ve known better. They were too much alike and he should’ve known better.

He supposed the worrying came with the territory. The anxiety and panic and not knowing were all things he didn’t like but things he would bear if it meant making sure one of his own was okay.

He had always been protective. You were the youngest Buckley and he took it upon himself to make sure you had a better life than him and Maddie had had. Alex was family and he didn’t hesitate to give him a home when he needed one, metaphorically and literally.

And somewhere along the way the Buckley-Mercer family had grown without him realizing it. Alex had brought his band, his friends, over for dinner once and from that moment on they became a fixture in his life.

Bobby, who was surprised the first time Maddie grinned and hugged him, telling him how proud she was of him. Reggie, who was the first to accept a place in their makeshift home, needing the support and love they offered more than anything. And Luke, who was stubborn and wore his heart on his sleeve and fit right in with them.

And Buck couldn’t believe he had let them down. He couldn’t believe that he tried so hard to let Luke know he was there for him and he had failed. If he had just paid a little more attention then -

“I know what you’re thinking,” Your voice cut off his thoughts and he paused for a moment before continuing.

“No you don’t.”

“You’re blaming yourself. It’s what you always do,” You watched as he pocketed his phone and zipped up the bag. “It’s what you did when I thought I could jump off the swing and ended up with a broken arm even though you couldn’t have stopped me. It’s what you did when Alex had that really bad allergic reaction even though none of us knew he was allergic in the place. It’s what you’re doing now.”

Buck slammed the locker shut without meaning to and silently wondered how you seemed to know everything about him when he seemed to know nothing about any of you, not really. He wasn’t like you or Maddie or Alex and that had never been more clear.

“I’m not blaming myself. I just -” He sighed and walked out of the locker room, past you and Alex, and around to the drivers side of the car. He didn’t get in yet. Instead he glanced between the two of you. “I’m not Maddie. I don’t know how to tell what you guys are thinking. I don’t know how to do the things she does. I can’t help how she does. But - but maybe if I could then -”

“You’re right,” You cut him off, already knowing where he was going. “You’re not Maddie. But we don’t need another Maddie, we need Buck.”

“Y/N’s right,” Alex leaned against the top of the car and gave an easy shrug. “Maddie does family dinners every week and helps us with homework and keeps superhero bandaids around for when Reg and Bobby come back from the skate park with scrapes all over them. But you host game nights and come to every one of our practices when you’re not here and tell really bad jokes when you know we need to hear them.”

“They aren’t bad -”

“Yeah they are,” Both you and Alex answered in sync, successfully pulling the faintest laugh from Buck.

“You’re Buck,” You repeated and finally opened the door of the car. “And when Luke left home he came to you. Athena said you’re his emergency contact because he trusts you more than anyone else. We all do.”

It took less than a couple seconds for Buck to nod and get in the car, the two of you following his lead. Moments later he was speeding away from the 118 and in the direction of the hospital, determined to be where he was needed.

“You’re an idiot, Luke Patterson.”

“Wow thanks,” Luke rolled his eyes from where he sat on the couch, an action that earned him a scolding from you, and kept picking at the fabric of the pillow he was holding to him.

It was nearing mid morning and you had all gotten back to Buck’s apartment only a short while ago. The combined insistence and intimidation coming from both Buck and Athena meant the doctors had no choice but to run as many tests as necessary until they were positive Luke was fine.

Your eyes scanned his face again, a habit you’d picked up from Maddie, in an attempt to assess the damage once more to be sure nothing had gone wrong in the last ten minutes.

A butterfly bandage on his forehead above his left eye. Some scrapes on his arms from the fall. The brace around his right ankle propped up on the coffee table and some pillows. A tear in his favorite flannel that you were already patching up.

“What were you thinking?” You sighed and dropped your hands, turning in your spot beside him to look at him and read all the expressions flashing across his face. “You got hit by a car, Luke.”

“I did not!” He flinched when Alex, fast asleep across the other couch, shifted a little at the noise. Buck did the same thing upstairs in the loft, though he recognized the sound of talking and opted to listen in. “I swerved out of the way. The bike lost control and I hit the pavement but I’m fine.”

“The mild concussion and sprained ankle beg to differ,” You stared again. Luke refused to meet your eyes, refused to look anywhere around the apartment that wasn’t the pillow on his lap. He’d been doing the same thing since Buck had nearly busted down the door of the room he’d been sitting in at the hospital. “What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” Luke finally sighed, knowing you wouldn’t let it go any time soon. “I just - I did go home. At first. And i-it was okay until my mom started doing that -that thing she does. The voice, talking down, asking when I was gonna start getting serious, telling me I should do better. I tried but she wouldn’t stop saying all of it so I -” His shoulders sank and his head hung low and you moved closer. “I left.”

“So why didn’t you come back here?” You reached out, hand on his arm in an attempt to get him to hear you. To listen to you. To talk to you. “What made you think you couldn’t?”

It took a few moments but when Luke finally looked up his eyes were watering and he looked unsure. He looked scared and he was never scared. “I didn’t want to disappoint anyone else.”

“I don’t know if you know this,” You gave a sigh and leaned against the back of the couch on one arm. “But we are, historically, a pretty messed up family.”

You successfully pulled a laugh from Luke and a muffled ‘shut up’ from Alex only made the two of you laugh more. But when the laughter faded away you were left with the ghost of those doubts. Present and needing closure. To be acknowledged and reassured.

“There is nothing you could do that would disappoint Maddie and Buck, believe me,” You gave him a faint, sad smile and for a second he wondered what memories were the source of it. “And you never have to be scared. We’re your family and we’re here for you. Me and Alex and Buck and Maddie. Athena who stayed with you until we got there and after. Chimney who’s breaking the news to Maddie to save us all. Albert. May. Bobby. Reggie. You have all of us. I hate to break it to you but you’re a part of our weird little family and we aren’t going anywhere any time soon. So please, please never feel like you have to hide from us. You’re home here, Luke.”

And he believed every word. For a moment he wondered why he ever doubted it in the first place. It was evident in the way he had a designated spot at the dining table at Maddie’s place. In the way his clothes took up a good amount of space in one of the dressers upstairs. In the pair of house keys that hung on a chain around his neck. Reggie and Bobby were also given a pair long ago.

“Does one of you want to explain to me what the hell happened!” The sound of the door being thrown open startled all of you. Alex sat up quickly and Buck came barreling down the stairs to meet Maddie at the door.

Bobby and Reggie came in after her, holding piles of various items she’d insisted on bringing with. They were followed moments later by Albert carrying bags filled with takeout and then Chimney with Jee-Yun in her car seat.

It was dead silent for a moment as Maddie looked between her siblings, her cousin, and the boy she considered one of her own. They were all her family and that was that.

Finally the silence was broken by Luke leaning over in your direction and quietly asking, “Hey, does home have a place I can hide from Maddie until she’s less mad?”

“Oh, Luke,” You offered him a smile he recognized as a slightly sympathetic yet playful one. “There is nowhere you can hide where Maddie’s anger, love, and aggressive post-injury nurturing won’t reach. Good luck.”

She sat in your spot the moment you stood up and was immediately making sure Luke was okay. Her eyes scanned each injury just as yours had and when she finally let him take a breath he looked around.

All of this, the chaos that was unpacking the various takeout boxes. Setting up a little station on the kitchen island with various medical supplies. Chasing Jee-Yun around as she crawled and wobbled all around the place. Music playing softly in the background as everyone smiled and talked and felt relieved that he was okay.

This was home. Luke was sure of it.

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[ethereal-bang]

Stormy Night

Authors Note: Hey guys!! It’s finally here, my first fic to post! AANNND ITS SEUNGMIN SMUT YOU’RE WELCOME this probably seems very rough and rushed and I’m sorry lol it’s my first time writing smut and my first time in a few years writing a fic, but I’m really happy with it!

Characters: Seungmin x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.3k (oops lol) 

Type: Friends to Lovers, An equal amount of fluff as there is smut “There’s enough room on the bed for both of us”, somewhat of a buildup

This piece of fiction is intended for adult audiences, 18+ ONLY 

Watching the rain as it hits the windshield, a mild feeling of panic starts to wash over you. The storm was getting bad, and it would be getting dark pretty soon. Looking back on it, maybe taking the 18 hour road trip home with Seungmin wasn’t the smartest idea you’d had. You were nearly half way there, so close but so far to your hometown, where you insisted--no, begged for Seungmin to come with you due to a family wedding that you wanted no part in, but were obligated to be at. Not to mention, your cousins had been pestering you about when you were finally going to bring a plus one to such important family gatherings.

“So Y/N,” your cousin started, and you immediately feel a little panic set in, knowing where this was going. “Is your boyfriend coming with you to Jennie’s wedding? I mean..you do have a boyfriend, right?” You can hear the smirk in her voice over the phone, asking about the wedding that you would be attending this weekend. Every time one of these events take place, she’s always there to make fun of your relationship-- or lack thereof. Searching around the room as you try to think of an excuse, your eyes land on your best friend, Seungmin, who is sitting on the couch watching some drama he had turned on when your cousin called. An idea forming, you slowly smile. “Actually..yes. I am bringing my boyfriend with me.” At your words, Seungmin’s ears perk up and he turns to look at you. Eyes going wide, he immediately catches onto your plan, mouthing words of protest at you as you try to wave him off. “Yes. We will make sure to be there by noon. Okay, I’ve gotta go, I’ll talk to you later bye!” You tell your cousin, quickly getting her off the phone as Seungmin has now stood up and was making his way towards you. 

Hanging up the phone, Seungmin looks at you like you're crazy. “No.” He says quickly, not letting you get a word in edgewise. “No. I am NOT going to play boyfriend at this wedding. Please don’t make me do it,” he pleads, eyes going wide. “Seungmiiiinnnn,” you whine, “it’ll only be for a weekend, please just hear me out!” you beg. He shakes his head in resistance and you groan, throwing yourself onto the couch. “Pleeease. I’ll do anything!” At this, he stops. “Anything?” You nod at him, looking hopeful. “Do my biology homework for a week and you’ve got yourself a deal.” You smile at him, surprise taking over your features. “Done.” you beam, and he groans, not thinking you would actually agree. 

And that was how you got here, Seungmin volunteering to drive the first half of the way. However, you weren’t expecting the rain to hit as hard as it was. Sensing you were a tad bit anxious at the growing storm, Seungmin takes a hand off the steering wheel and places it on your thigh. You really wish he wouldn’t do that.

It’s no secret that your best friend is attractive. Seungmin is a traditionally handsome kinda guy-- brown, soft hair, big chocolate eyes that scrunch at the corners when he smiles and a laugh that can brighten anyone’s day. You take a second to appreciate said features, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the blush making its way to your cheeks and focusing on the road instead.

Yeah...so maybe you have a thing for your best friend. No big deal.

A loud crack of thunder pulls you out of your trance, and it starts to rain even harder, if that was even possible. “Seungmin..” you start, voice small, “maybe we should stop somewhere, just until the rain calms down a little.” Your eyes are drawn to a road marker: “LODGING: EXIT 15 (1.5 miles)” Pointing it out to Seungmin, he nods and keeps an eye out for the next exit, which should be quickly approaching. “You’re right, man who would’ve thought it would rain this bad..” he says, trying to keep the car on the road despite the rain making it hard to see.

Soon enough, you see the neon lights of a hotel come into view. Seungmin, sighing with relief now that he won’t be driving in the dangerous weather, pulls into the parking lot. “You stay here, I’ll head inside and get us a room,” He says, undoing his seatbelt and pulling the hood on his jacket tight. You nod in response, watching him jog through the parking lot and into the lobby. You focus on the sounds of the rain, now oddly calming as you know you’re not going to be in it. Really, you were just worried about this wedding, wanting it to go well and hope that no one will see through the little act you’re about to put on with your best friend. 

A few minutes later, Seungmin runs back out to the car. Brandishing a key on a little feather chain, he smiles at you. “Got the room, let’s go on up.” You grab your backpacks that were sitting in the back seat, and follow Seungmin to the room. Upon opening the door, you take a look around at the place you’ll call home for the night. A patterned rug, wall lights soft but warm which make the room feel oddly cozy, and dark red curtains make you laugh, feeling comfort in the very stereotypical decor. That is, until your eyes fall on the bed.

That’s right, the bed. One bed. For the two of you.

Now, you’ve had sleepovers with Seungmin plenty of times, memories of all nighters before finals and drunken celebrations crossing your mind. However, when he stayed over you almost always ended up falling asleep on the couch; TV playing a movie that eventually neither of you could keep your minds focused on, too occupied with the idea of sweet sweet sleep. Your back might have hated you for not sleeping in your own bed, but waking up on the couch with Seungmin’s head resting atop yours was something you’ll always find comfort in; his hair tickling your forehead as you take in your surroundings. 

“Only one bed?” You ask him, feeling a little nervous. “Yeah, it was all they had left..I can sleep on the floor if you want me to, it’s no big deal.” He shrugs as he sets his bag down on the table near the front door. The idea of him sleeping on a hotel carpet does not sit well with you, thinking of how many people have been through this room and questioning just what has went down here. “No no it’s okay. I don’t want you sleeping on the floor. There’s enough room on the bed for the both of us “ You say, trying to hide the nervous tint in your voice. “Are you sure?” He asks and you nod your head, not wanting your voice to betray you. Shrugging his shoulders, Seungmin announces that he’s going to take a shower, feeling gross after being in the car since the early hours of the morning and being caught in the rain. 

You get comfortable in the hotel room, setting your things down and getting ready to let sleep take you over. While laying in the bed, as close to one side as you possibly can, you scroll through your social media as Seungmin finally makes his way out of the bathroom. Glancing up  at him from your screen, you hold back a gasp as you take in the way he looks: Hair still a little wet, a fresh tshirt that fits his arms just right and his grey sweatpants sitting a little low on his hips making you want to lift his shirt and kiss the exposed skin. Your mind goes absolutely insane as you try to push the thoughts away, wanting to get some sleep. 

Picking up the covers, Seungmin slides in next to you and chuckles about how apprehensive you seem. “You know, Y/N, you’re almost falling off the bed. You don’t have to be so far away.” he says, getting under the covers and making himself comfy. “No, really, I’m alright,” you lie to him, wanting to maintain your distance otherwise your sanity will slowly chip away. Even with the small distance in between you, you can smell the cinnamon of his body wash, one that you’ve definitely used on the occasional chance that you’ve stayed at his apartment. The scent is almost intoxicating, because it’s just purely..Seungmin. “Okay, suit yourself. Try and get some sleep, I set an alarm for the morning so we’ll be fine,” he says, punctuating his sentence with a yawn. You set your phone down on the side table and turn off the lamp, closing your eyes and trying to fall asleep, willing away dreams of the boy who is snoring peacefully next to you. (Seriously? How did he fall asleep so fast?)

You almost had a peaceful sleep. Almost.

You’re unsure how much time has passed, but your slumber was rudely interrupted by a very bright strike of lightning, loud thunder following not too close behind. The sound made you wake in a panic, heart racing and sitting straight up in bed. Once you realized what was happening you lay back down, trying to relax yourself back to sleep.

It wasn’t working. The lightning and thunder continued, and for some reason you just cannot bring your brain to calm down enough. Tossing and turning, you’re thankful that the darkness can hide the blush on your cheeks as you take in Seungmin’s sleeping form. His mouth is partially open, soft snores emitting from it and making you smile. His hair has dried, fluffy and falling into his eyes where his lashes cast a delicate shadow onto his cheeks. 

Another crack of thunder makes you jump, and this time it was loud enough to make Seungmin stir too. Afraid he would wake up and catch you staring at him, you quickly shut your eyes, pretending to be asleep and praying that your best friend wouldn’t be able to hear your heart pounding in your chest. 

You hear Seungmin take in a deep breath, and he scoots a little closer to you. “I know you’re awake,” you hear him say, and the gentle yet sleepy tone makes you open your eyes, even though you were desperately trying to get yourself to fall asleep. Taking a look at him, you try to hide the fact that you’re a little flustered, but that isn’t easy as Seungmin reaches across the space in between you and pulls you into his chest. If he couldn’t hear your heart beating before, he should be able to feel it by now, but sure enough you relaxed in his hold, as if you were made for his arms to be wrapped around you. Seungmin runs his fingers through your hair in a slightly comforting gesture. “Thunderstorm keeping you up?” He asks quietly, and you nod your head. “It’s gotten worse. I hope it lets up before we have to leave…” you trail off, and Seungmin just shushes you, the patterns he’s drawing on his scalp slowing to a stop as he holds you.

Taking a chance, you look up at your best friend, nose touching his chin as he lays there with his eyes closed. Sensing your stare, he pulls away a little and looks at you, and that’s when you see it. Something is there, but you’re not quite able to make it out.

That is, until suddenly Seungmin is leaning down towards you, face coming closer slowly as if to gauge your reaction. Taking the plunge, you meet him halfway in a searing kiss, one that you did not expect to come from him right now, or ever.

You were always positive that your feelings for Seungmin were unrequited, looking for signs that he may have even the littlest bit of feelings for you over the years. Maybe you’re just oblivious, but all of those thoughts fly out the window at the feeling of his lips on yours, the hand that was once on your waist now on your cheek, his other hand still in your hair.

You stay like that for a few minutes, just kissing, enjoying the fact that you’re both finally getting what you wanted. You’re the first one to pull away, out of breath and absolutely smitten.

“You,” Seungmin starts, a shy smile on his lips as he looks at your pink cheeks, “have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for,” he confesses, and it makes you smile. “Well, why’d you stop?” you tease and pull him back down for another kiss.

The first kiss was gentle, loving, sweet. Everything you ever expected of Kim Seungmin. The second kiss, however, turned into something deeper, more sensual and passionate as you swiped your tongue along his bottom lip, him granting you access but immediately fighting you for dominance. You let him win, giving into the feelings that were slowly forming in the pit of your stomach. His hold on you tightens, and he pushes you into the mattress, hovering over you while still driving you absolutely insane. His hands move under your shirt, the brunette tracing circles on your hip bones that automatically start a fire inside of you. His kisses move down to your neck, biting on a spot between your neck and your collarbone which elicits a small groan of his name from your mouth.

“Fuck,” he says under his breath, the noise you made clearly affecting him. He pushes his hands farther up your shirt and looks at you for permission. “Can I?” he asks, and you simply nod your head, raising your arms to help him get you out of your shirt. 

Being in front of Seungmin in this way was totally new-- the most he’s ever seen of you is in a bikini, and even then you wore a tshirt over it more often than not. You go to cover yourself but Seungmin moves your arms away and his lips immediately attach to your chest, making eye contact with you as his tongue runs across your nipple. Seungmin seems to be spurred on by the noises you’re making, running his hands up and down your sides, going lower each time but refusing to put his hands where you really want them. He pulls away for a quick moment, and you whine at the loss of contact. Seungmin sits up, a chuckle falling from his lips as he takes off his own tshirt, and you can’t help but stare at the lithe body that’s presented before you. You’ve always known he was in shape, but watching his muscles flex with each movement he makes suddenly makes you very impatient. 

Suddenly he’s back on you, lips traveling farther down to your core and the knot in your stomach tightens a little bit more with each kiss he leaves on your body. “You,” he begins, “are the most. Beautiful. Woman. I. have. Ever. seen.” he accentuates each word with a kiss, starting at your ribcage and ending on your inner thighs. His lips are ghosting your core, opting to continue the sweet kisses on your inner thighs. “Seungmin..please,” you whine out, a hand moving down to grip his hair. “What do you want, baby? I need you to use your words,” he says with a smirk on his face. 

“Seungmin please. I need your tongue, your fingers, fuck anything just...touch me. Please,” you beg him. Happy to hear your breathy moans, he finally slips off your sleep shorts and your underwear at once, running a finger through your folds. “So, so pretty,” he says in amazement, reveling in the fact that you’re soaked, and it’s all for him. 

Seungmin begins placing soft kitten licks to your clit, the feeling making you want to roll your eyes into the back of your head. Instead you opt to watch him, his eyes completely blown with lust as he adds a finger to the mix. Looking up at you to gauge your reaction, Seungmin is more than happy with what he sees. Your eyes have gone dark, trying not to throw your head back in pleasure because you want to watch as he slowly has you falling apart around him. 

The feeling of his finger inside you makes you whimper. It’s nice, but it’s nowhere near enough. “Seungmin..please stop teasing,” you beg him. He looks up at you questioningly. “Nu uh baby, I have to get you ready for me,” “I am ready for you, Seungmin, God please-- just fuck me,”

Hearing the absolute desperation in your voice, he decides to grant you mercy, removing his fingers and pulling your legs up a little higher. “You sure?” he asks once more, looking for your consent before you cross a boundary that the two of you will never be able to come back from. You pull him down to you for a kiss, hoping that he can feel all of the emotions you’re pouring into it. “Seungmin, I want you. In every sense of the word. I have never been so sure about something,” you say. With a gentle smile on his lips, he leans back to pull down his sweatpants, cock springing up against his stomach. You feel your heart begin to beat even faster-- as if that was possible-- knowing what was coming.

Seungmin runs the head of his cock in between your folds, something that has you keening with pleasure and excitement. Leaning close to you, he takes your hand in his, and uses his free hand to guide his cock into your entrance. Seungmin lets out a deep groan that mirrors your own, getting lost in the feeling of how tight you feel around him. The stretch stings for just a moment, but is soon replaced with a feeling of absolute euphoria. It’s like Seungmin was made for you; feeling absolutely full once he bottoms out. He stays like that for a moment or two, letting you get adjusted to the feeling as he peppers kisses on your neck, whispering sweet nothings in your ear. You wiggle your hips just a bit, and Seungmin gets the hint. Slowly pulling out, you moan at the feeling of him inside you. He picks up a steady pace, not too fast but not agonizingly slow. 

The only sounds that can be heard in the room are skin slapping, and your moans mixed with Seungmin’s quieter noises as well. “F-fuck,” he stutters, hips starting to move faster, hitting you harder and looking for your gspot. “S-seungmin dont..d-dont stop,” you say, the knot in your stomach turning white hot as he continued.

Seungmin leans in closer to you, your legs pushed up against your chest and the position has you seeing stars. Feeling your wall clench around him, one of Seungmin’s hands travels down to your clit, rubbing fast circles. His high was approaching too, but he wanted to make sure that you came before he did. “Oh my god,” you breathe out as the knot in your stomach finally snaps, vision going white and the only thing coming from your mouth is Seungmin’s name, repeated like a mantra that you would live by your entire life. Not even seconds later Seungmin’s orgasm comes, triggered by your wall tightening around him. You feel him fill you completely, a soft moan let out as you both finally come down from your highs.

Pulling out and laying back down beside you, Seungmin pulls you close to him once again. “I meant what I said, you know. About wanting you. I do. All of the time,” you quietly say, still a little out of breath and your cheeks flushing pink. Throwing his arm over your waist, he presses a kiss to your cheek. “I know. I want you too, always. Y/N, would you do me the honors and be my actual girlfriend?” He asks, looking you in the eyes. You smile softly, leaning into kiss him once more.

“Absolutely,” you say, right before sleep takes you, the thunderstorm completely forgotten.

 _______________________________________________________________

A/N: Hey! If you’ve made it this far, make sure you like/reblog/give me any kind of feedback! I really hope you guys like it!!

Also my requests ARE OPEN so if you have anything you wanna send in, feel free to do so!!!

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader]

Chapter One | Home

[Previous] | [Next]

(Author Note, written in November 2020 and updated on May 2021: For those who've already read the prologue, two changes happened: [1] the story title went from Goodnight, Starlight to Fairytale Complex, and [2] since this's a rewrite of an older work, the main/focus relationship would now be Sans, but there will still be alternate relationships, other main four being Papyrus, Muffet, Grillby, and Napstablook! More info on that can be found on Chapter Sixteen | Dummy! (Part 3 of 3).)

• • •

Your phone lights up and buzzes erratically, waking you up and forcing you to get out of bed when it proves to be too far away for you to reach it. The screen marks an unholy five thirty five in the morning, and you can only wonder over what your aunt wants to discuss with you at such an early hour. There's around two urgent voicemails, eleven text messages, and three missed calls, all from her, so you decide on phoning her back to get things over with.

She answers fast, hardly giving the phone a chance to beep once.

"Turn on the TV right now, honey," your aunt shouts, an indistinguishable emotion between anger and shock displayed in her voice. "Now," she repeats, authority shown in that single word. "And don't forget to call me later. We need to talk." She hangs up after that, leaving you with more questions than you once had.

You raise a brow at the oddity of her call, yet relent with how tired both your mind and body feel. You'd left work at eleven at night, only to arrive home at midnight and fall asleep at one. With barely five hours of rest in your system, you don't exactly feel motivated to watch television, yet that changes when you sit at the edge of your bed, turn it on, and see the first thing there is a breaking news report taking over every cable channel present. No matter which one you switch to, it's there, reporting over the rise of a whole new species of living beings, these capable of human reasoning and conduct, as one of the reporters and even a scientist so claimed based on the little information they've both gathered about the species already. They proceed to display a picture of a large crowd of people gathered near a mountain, these looking straight out of a fantasy novel. They vary greatly, from bipedal, anthropomorphic fish, bears, bunnies, goats, and spiders, to living skeletons, ghosts, and live, humanoid flames. You have to rub sleep away from your eyes and blink a few times to process what's going on, until you see who's standing smack in the middle of them all.

"F- Frisk?!" you shout, breaking the silence of your home and the night.

Almost immediately, you pick up your phone and search for more information on where and when the picture was taken. The sun seemed to be setting in it, and based on when the news had chosen to report on the event, you figure Frisk has to be with that group somewhere around. You access the news channel's main page and see a pinned post asking for information on the child's parents, comment section blocked to prevent a flood in them, along with the share button to keep any second parties from spreading it around more.

>> A goat lady by the name of Toriel has taken Frisk under her temporary care while authorities regain contact with the child's parents. If anyone reading this post happens to know about their location, number, or any other contact information, please do let us know over at private message, so that we may interview them personally. We have searched far and wide for more thorough information on the child, but Child Protective Services have settled upon keeping that information private, while the child refused to tell us anything else after they found out over what penalties their parents would be receiving. They insist that their primary caregiver is a good person, that they do not know about their secondary caregiver's whereabouts, and that they will not allow anything bad to happen to either of them, refusing to so much as give up their last name to us as a result. However, we are still in dire need of said information in order to interview the parents and perform more proper investigations as to why the child disappeared for a period of almost two whole months.

Below the basic gist stands a shorter paragraph and a photo of a different monster, this one a skeleton instead of a goat woman.

>> In addition to the goat lady offering to look after Frisk for the time being, another monster has reached out to us and left his number only specifically for the parents. He states it is necessary they meet and that he would like to offer an explanation as to what happened at the Underground and how Frisk got there. If you are one of the parents, please contact us through private message so that we may provide you with his number and further directions on what to do from there.

You check the time of the post, lock your phone, and set it aside when the news returns from a commercial break, this one much shorter compared to usually. 

"Passerby say it sounded similar to that of a bomb going off, yet there were no signs of destruction and nobody near when they made it to the place where they heard the noise. It's estimated the Barrier broke at late evening, and that the monsters left with Frisk barely an hour after that event, without bothering to inform anyone over the missing child's arrival. Authorities claim they've yet to gain contact with Frisk's secondary caregiver and that they are now on their way to contact their primary one. Given the circumstances and the current hour, Child Protective Services believe it best to visit at noon, as they have already tracked down the parent's location and received further information on the subject through social media. That's all we've managed to cover so far, but remember to stay tuned for more at-"

“(Mom/Dad), I'm home!”

Your eyes shoot open and you almost have to double take when you hear that voice. It's followed by a few persistent knocks on the door, though you still go as far as to check the pulse on your wrist to make sure you're still alive. You turn the television off, hop out of bed, and rush over to the living room, where you're greeted with the sight of Frisk standing by the entrance and looking around, their own set of keys balanced on their finger as they take in their surroundings. They continue to look this way and that, observing the changes you've made to the house since they were gone. 

They meet with your eyes and freeze up, taking a small, precautionary step forward. "I… I missed you," they mutter, voice soft and quiet, a large difference from when they announced they were back home. They fiddle with their hands and face at the floor, casting a guilty look at the worn welcome mat as they say, "I'm sorry for… for disappearing like that. But I promise I-"

Before they can finish speaking, you've already made it to their side. Your arms wrap around them and you bring them in for a strong and lasting embrace, tucking their head against your chest, squeezing them tight, and allowing them to listen to your heart beat. "Oh, sweetheart, forget all that," you reply, stroking their hair and kissing their forehead. "I… I missed you, too." You hold them tight and let some of your worries out through another squeeze. It feels almost bizarre having them in your arms again, but it feels right all the same. Every puzzle seems to fall right into place, and the only thing in your mind right now's their well-being. "H- How are you, by the way?" you ask, breaking the hug apart. "Are you hungry? ...Sleepy? And who brought you here? Did they treat you well?"

"I'm okay," they reply, giggling. "Miss Toriel made me some food before we left, and I'm way too pumped to even think about sleeping!"

"And where is Miss Toriel?"

"She left right after we got here. She said she didn't want to bother you now that I'm back, and that you could meet up with her some other time!"

You hug them yet again, still too stricken to let go of them. "I'm… I'm so glad you're back home, dear," you whisper, holding them close as you mutter more sentences with similar sentiments to the previous one. You still can't shake off your shock nor can you believe this is real. The rational part of your brain insists it's no time to be emotional and that you need answers stat, though the emotional part demands you pour all your attention onto the moment and appreciate Frisk's return. You'd cried countless hours, days, nights, and weeks. And all of that pent up regret, confusion, and relief begins to be let out through whispered words, strong hugs, and gentle caresses. "I… I thought you were gone for good, dear, an- and that you left because you hated me." You hiccup at that last statement and hold them tighter, fearing another disappearance. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel bad about me being your (mother/father). And… And I'm sorry for anything I might've done to upset you. I- I'll try to be a better parent for you from now on, and you can tell me over where I can improve. Alright?"

Frisk breaks the hug apart and faces up at you with a frown. "What are you saying? I don't hate you, (mom/dad)!" they reply, gaze furrowed and eyes wide. "I… I was thinking about something else that day. B- But it has nothing to do with you. I promise!"

"Then why did you disappear?" you ask, placing a hand over their shoulder and maintaining your frown. "Why did you run away? ...And just what do you mean by that? What were you thinking about before you disappeared?"

Looking caught, they face the floor and fiddle with their hands again. "...Can we talk about that later? I think I'm feeling sleepy now."

Your glare finally shows through, the rational part of you taking over now. "Don't you dare change the subject, Frisk (L/N). What did you mean by that? What happened before you disappeared?"

"Please, (mom/dad)! I can tell you later," they whine, tears welling up in their eyes. "I- I don't wanna talk about that right now. I miss you. And I… I really wanna be with you right now. I really miss my home, I miss studying with you, and I... I miss going out on weekends with you, too."

You straighten your posture, cross your arms tight, and frown, still unconvinced. "Can you promise me you'll tell me first thing tomorrow, after we catch up today?"

Slowly, they nod. "I promise."

"Pinky promise?"

Frisk smiles bright and wide at your suggestion and at the gesture you make, pinky finger offered out to them. They interlock theirs with yours and let go when you both nod, sealing the deal. "I promise. Could we go watch a movie now?"

"Didn't you say you were sleepy?"

"I sleep better with the TV on!"

"Yeah, right." Despite yourself, you giggle and smile at them. Then, you place a hand on their head and mess up their hair, poking your tongue out when they glare at you. "Let's go, then. Just... Remember me to call my boss so I can take the day off today and go to work a bit later tomorrow."

"...Can you really do that? I thought you could get fired for that!"

"Probably not." You laugh. "But you're my main and only priority right now. And I can just try to find another job after all this's over with."

You offer your hand out to them and lead the way back to your bedroom when they take it. Your heart's still racing and you've yet to acknowledge the fact they're finally back with you, though your happiness continues to persist through it all; they're here and that's all that matters right now. Worry would come in later.

"Why did you move the TV to the bedroom, though?" they ask, halfway through your destination.

You squeeze their hand and stare down at them, managing a guilty and meek smile. "I, uh, might've... borrowed your dad's Netflicks password, and tried watching some movies since you went missing. I could barely sleep at night, so I just tried distracting myself by finding something new to watch." You let go, finally reaching the door of your bedroom. "I also made sure to tidy up your bedroom once a week, just in case you ever came back, so it's all nice and clean if you want to go there later," you say, smiling. "But... I'm guessing you'd want to be with me for awhile now?"

They nod, not an ounce of reluctance present in their actions. "Definitely!" They flinch back and giggle when you kiss their cheek as a response, "Can I, really?"

"As long as you fulfill your promise, then yes. You can stay in my bedroom for as long as you want, dear."

"But didn't you say I was a big kid just last year?"

"Yes, but I…" You chew on your lip and blink back tears, their return finally dawning on you. "I missed you too much to care about that right now."

You turn on the television and access Netflicks, putting on a movie and climbing into bed. They do the same and rest their head against your lap, cuddling against you. You both stay that way for the entirety of the movie, with them close and with your hand on their head, stroking their hair until they fall asleep halfway in.

When you're sure they're out like a light, you allow yourself to cry again; tears continue to go down the more time you spend with Frisk close to your side.

They were back.

Your prayers had been answered, and now you wouldn't have to lay awake at night, feeling guilty and mourning over their loss for hours on end.

Hopefully, Child Protective Services and Frisk's school would go easier on you now; despite what you said about not minding if they were taken away after their return, you do care. Now that they're back in your arms, you can't imagine not having the right to visit them again; a world without them. At that thought, sorrow overflows your mind and you find yourself crying quietly during what's left of another movie, uncontrolled yet quiet as you try not to wake or worry Frisk over your state. You needed to be strong for their sake and for your own as well, if the time to part ways from them ever became a reality.

That's the last thing you think of as you close your eyes, exhaustion finally taking your body for itself. Faint murmurs of an ongoing movie are the last things you hear and the sight of Frisk sleeping peacefully on your lap is the last thing you see. It all feels right, yet not; cherishing these final moments is the only thing you can do for now.

[Previous] | [Next]

[twinkleimagines]

✨The big fight✨

Summary- you and Tom have a really bad fight the day before he leaves to film spider-man 3. He’ll be away for months before he comes back home and neither of you are sure the relationship will last.

⚠️⭕️ Smut and language ! 

( I didn’t double check this so excuse any misspellings )

“What the hell is this?” You hear your boyfriend of a year and a half yell from across the bedroom.

“What?” You yell back , not looking up from your phone while you’re laying across Toms couch.

“ my clothes are soaking wet and I have to leave for the airport in 30 minutes ! “ he yelled back walking into the living room with a handful of wet clothes.

“ why are you yelling at me for it?” You asked, getting an attitude because of his tone . 

“ because I asked you one simple thing!” He said throwing his hands up. “ I said please put my clothes in the dryer while I shower so I can just put them in my suitcase when I get out “ he said with frustration.

“ uhm you have a closet full of clothes chill out I’m sorry I forgot” you said shrugging your shoulders , going back to your phone .

     “ that’s not the point Y/N you never do anything around here and when I ask you to you still can’t get up and do it!” He yelled with frustration before walking back into the laundry room. You sat for a second, replaying what he had just said in your head. He knew that you had issues with some fans calling you a gold digger, claiming you were lazy and lived off of Tom for his money. He always reassured you that it wasn’t the case and he didn’t feel that way towards you, but now that he had made those comments you couldn’t be too sure anymore.

“ so what the hell is that suppose to mean?” You questioned walking into laundry room. You stood propped up against the wall while he starts the dryer waiting for his response.

“ what are you talking about? “ he snapped before brushing past you to the bathroom , packing more essentials.

“ I do nothing around here? “ you replied, referring to what he had just previously stated. He stopped for a second questioning what he was going to say next . You both were too pissed to just apologize and let your pride go so you knew this fight was about to get ugly .

" I mean I’m always on the go, always working whether it’s filming , interviews or something and I don’t ask you for much but I asked you to do this one thing and you couldn’t even do that.” He said looking at you with disappointment before walking past you again into the bedroom. You watched him pick a black t shirt out , putting it over his head.

“ yanno I may not be some rich famous actor but I pull my part as much as possible . I’m going to school, I do the online customer service job, anytime you need me to help you book something , or figure up your schedule- I do it. When you’re home I Cook for you, I clean for you, I do anything you ask me too. So I am sorry if I fucking forget to wash your damn clothes one time” you stated before walking out of the room straight into the bathroom. 

“Y/n” he said following you.

“ just leave me alone” you said as you sat down on the side of the tub, crying into your hands.

“ love let me in.. I’m sorry okay “ he said turning the knob some. “ i’ve just been stressed out and I don’t want to leave you. I have so much to get done and so little time that sometimes I get overwhelmed and I didn’t mean to snap on you” he sighed heavily , leaning his head against the door. “. And darling you are right I have plenty of clean clothes in the closet” 

“ no Tom I’m so tired of people talking down on me like I am some horrible gold digging girlfriend. “ you said looking at the door. “You were supposed to be on my side” you cried out, your voice cracking with every other word. 

Tom sighed heavily, laying his head against the door. “I am on your side love, I am just stressed out” he assured. “ please let me in I have to leave now”. He said turning on the door knob again. You knew you’d regret saying this but you did it anyways.

“ just go” you said lowly.

“ what?” He asked in disbelief.

“ go Tom!” You yelled out before crying into your hands again.

Tom looked at his watch and realized he was now running late.

“ I love you” he said , pausing for a response before walking back towards the living room and grabbing his stuff. You sat for a second , question if you made the right choice or not.

Of course not. You quickly ran to your shared bedroom and tossed on one of Toms t-shirts and a pair of joggers grabbing your phone. You grabbed the keys and ran outside only to see that Tom and his ride had already left . You tried calling him to tell him to wait but his phone went straight to voicemail.

“ shit!” You said out loud while you ran to the garage , getting into your car. Your nerves were shot.

“ what were you thinking y/n?” You yelled out hitting the steering wheel. His plan was set to leave in 15 minutes but you were about 8 minutes away. By the time you got there you left your car with the door open , running inside frantically searching for him. You were starting to panick. The place was so big you honestly didn’t have a clue where to look.

But then you saw him. In the security line . He looked upset but still managed to smile for the security guard while they scanned his bags. You quickly ran towards him about to call out his name when a guard grabbed your arm pulling you back.

“ ma’am !” He said stopping you dead in your tracks. “ ma’am you can’t just run around here where is your ticket ? What plane are you going to? Have you gone through security?” It seemed like his questions were just jumbling together as you tried your best to keep your eye on Tom.

“ n-no I don’t have a ticket sir I’m just trying to say goodbye to my boyfriend” you said looking back and forth between Tom and the guard.

“ okay I understand that but you have to go through security first to get to that section ma’am “ he said before swaying his wand around your body frame. You watched Tom grabbing his stuff off of the belt and you realized you were running out of time . You went to go towards him when the guards wand started beeping. You looked down in Toms pocket of his joggers .

“ sorry it’s just loose change” you said while pulling it out and showing him. He nodded and pointed ahead.

“ okay you can go” he said. You started to head towards Tom but when you looked he was no where to be found. Your heart dropped . You quickly ran that way towards the hallway leading towards the plane , you could see the back of his head and some of his security has he walked down the hallway.

“ TOM! TOM!!!” You yelled, trying to get his attention. But then you realized there were too many fans screaming his name for him to pin point you out. your shoulders dropped as you realized you weren’t going to be able to tell him goodbye.

The whole walk out you had your head lowered, tears falling.

‘ i really screwed this one up ‘ you said to yourself as you drove back home in silence. It always felt empty going home and knowing he wouldn’t be there, but it was so much worse when you didn’t even get to tell him bye. It was an empty feeling that just wouldn’t go away.

It had been a whole whopping week since Tom had left, and you hadn’t heard a peep from him. He had posted one time to his Instagram story saying the plane had landed in LA but that was it. Nothing. No posts , no calls no texts.

Was the relationship really over? Did your pride and ego ruin the best thing that had ever happened to you ? You sat on your shared bed contemplating on what was your next move. Do you pack and leave ? Do you just wait? Or do you chase him? All night long you thought about the pros and cons but you finally decided .

You managed to get in touch with his friend and other cast member , Jacob Batalon.

“ hello?” He answered .

“ hey Jacob it’s y/n!” You said excitedly that he answer.

“ oh hey what’s up ? Everything okay?” He asked.

“ yeah ! I’m sorry to bother you but me and Tom had an argument before he left and I wanted to surprise him and show up to really apologize for how I acted” you explained.

“ ohhhh” he said. “ so that’s what’s wrong with him, yeah that makes sense.” He said with a chuckle following behind.

“ what do you mean? Is he okay?” You questioned fearfully.

“ yeah I mean he just been pouting the whole week we’ve been here like he stays in his trailer unless we’re working. Everyone knew something was wrong but we didn’t know why. But yeah you needing a spot to come to?” He asked

“ yeah yeah! And please don’t tell him I really want to surprise him okay” you pleaded.

“ oh yeah no I won’t say anything ! I’ll send you an address!” He said before y’all said your goodbyes.

You had just gotten of the air plane in LA, a weeks worth of clothes in your suitcase. You were hoping things would go good so you could stay in a hotel near by so you had brought it just in case . You quickly covered yourself up, sunglasses , a wig and baggy clothes so no one would recognize you. It is after all LA and a bunch of Toms fans knew who you were. You quickly sent Jacob a text letting him know you landed.

“Okay you have about an hour and a half window to get here before he’s back in his trailer”

You quickly got a ride over to the filming spot where you met Jacob at the entrance . He pointed you in the direction to Toms trailer before going back to the stage buildings before anyone came looking for him. You had made it inside and instantly smiled. It smelt like Tom. You quickly undressed, and pulled out a black laced lingerie set. The top had padding, making your breast really stand out, lace strings crossing your stomach, down to lacked thongs, really making your butt look plump. The last thing was the high knee stockings you put on. At first you wanted him to walk in and see you with just your lingerie set on but then you decided if he had in fact broken up with you it would be really awkward to be standing there half naked. You decided to find Tom’s robe and put it on while you waited. You looked in the mirror in the trailer fixing your hair down and touching up your make up while you continuously checked your phone to see the time. And sure enough right within the hour and a half mark you heard the familiar ding from your phone indicating someone had messaged. Jacob had message to inform you that the filming was over for that day and that Tom would probably be on his way over. You started to feel butterflies forming in your stomach as you sat down in one of his chairs, crossing your leg over , trying to look as good as possible. You started to hear Toms voice but then you heard a female giggling. your stomach dropped. Who the hell is he with?

You sat up straight as you heard Tom turning the door knob before he walked in , a short blonde following behind him. He was looking back at her while walking in so he hadn’t noticed you sitting there.

“ uhm who’s that?” She piped up when she saw you staring at her glaring. You had never seen Tom turn his head so fast , his eyes landing directly on you.

“ y/n??” He said with half excitement and half shock. “ w-what are you doing here?” He asked stepping towards you still in shock.

“ looks like I’m leaving you said while standing up, picking up your bag. “ looks like you’ve got all the entertainment you need here” you remarked, pointing towards the girl.

“ what?” He asked in confusion looking back at the girl. “ wait no !” He said grabbing your arm as you tried to pass by him. “ we were just going to rehearse lines because we’re shooting the scenes with her in it tomorrow” he exclaimed. He sounded sincere but it also sounded like the perfect excuse.

“ good one Tom” you responded, glaring at him while tugging your arm back from him.

“ what is wrong with you? “ he snaps, stopping you in your tracks. The girl quickly ran out of the trailer, not wanting any sort of drama. “ first you force me to leave without an I love your or anything, you go a whole week without talking to me and then you show up to my job and accuse me of cheating !” He exclaimed in disbelief.

You sat back for a second. How dare he turn the tables on you.

“ this is not on me Tom! I sat at home alone every day waiting for you to call or something and you couldn’t even send me a single text message! And I came here to apologize and waited almost 2 hours in this trailer just for you to show up with another woman! “ you yelled back. You hadn’t realized in all this arguing , part of Toms robe had slid down your shoulder, revealing part of your laced see through lingerie . Toms eyes gazed over your perky nipples as your breathing was heavy from the adrenaline.

He took a step closer to you , looking into your eyes. “ I would never cheat on you” he said , his voice a lot lower than before. “ you’re my world and I was just trying to give you the space I thought you wanted” he said taking steps even closer to you. At this point you were only inches apart, you could smell his cologne and sweat all in one from working. You started to feel tingles shooting through your body.

“ give me space?” You questioned, trying to remain tough. “ I-I never wanted a weeks worth I mean cmon what kind of logic is that “ you chuckled trying to hide what Tom was so effortlessly doing to you. “ and I mean still what if I was dead or something and you’d just be shaking it up with some other gir-“ you were immediately cut off by Toms lips pressing against yours. You moaned unexpectedly, your body craving his touch more than you had realized.

“ just shut up already” he whispered before kissing you again, this time more rough. He nibbled on your bottom lip until you opened your lips, giving him access to kids you harder. Your tongues went back and forth while his hands pushed the robe completely off .

“Wow” he said while taking a step back, admiring your body.

“What?” You questioned. Slowly pulling your arms around yourself.

“ you’re just.. wow you’re just so beautiful “ he exclaimed before pulling you back in another kiss. You started walking back towards the chair that you were previously sitting on, pushing down on his shoulders making him sit down. His hand slid around your waist while you sat down on his lap, feeling his budge press against you.

“ I just missed you so much and I wanted to make it up to you for how I acted back at the house”. You said while kissing down his jaw line to his collar bone . 

“ oh yeah?” He asked, “ how so?” You grinned while removing his belt from the belt buckle .

“Lemme show you “ you suggested while pulling his shaft out . You felt him pulsating in your hands, jumping at the slightest touch. You pumped him a few times before wrapping your lips around the tip, rolling your tongue against it. You heard him suck in air through his teeth, making a hissing noise as you slip your mouth down further. You continued to move your hand up and down him while your head followed, squeezing as you went to the top.

“ fuck” he murmured holding tightly against the arm rail with one hand , the other squeezing against your head. You pushed yourself down further and further until you felt yourself gag, your throat clenching around him. He let out a long deep groan throwing his head back. He started lifting his hips , thrusting into your mouth as you bopped your head down. You could tell he was getting close by his heavy breathing and right squeezing against your hair so you sat up wiping at the crease of your mouth. You stared at him while you slowing un clipped your bra , slowly pulling it off of your arms before tossing it to the side. You looked down at his cock, watching it jump , needing some release. You grinned, enjoying the sight unfolding before you.

You turned around slowly before pressing your thumbs under the lining of your underwear, slowly lowering down to your ankles. You looked around you a little to see Tom pumping himself at this point while staring at your bare behind. You quickly sat up, shaking your head.

“ nuh-uh” you said while flicking your tongue. “ I do all the work tonight” you said while grinning, removing his hand off himself. You pulled his pants and boxers further down to his ankles before climbing back on top of him, this time letting him slide into you slowly. You threw your head back while moaning as you felt him all the way in you.

“ I love you” you whispered before kissing him, grinding your hips on him in back and forth motions. You leaned your head back again, one hand on top of his that laid on the arm rest, and the other squeezing your breast while riding him. His other hand was wrapped around your waist, pushing on your hips trying to get himself as deep as possible inside of you.

“ fuck baby” he moaned his eyebrows furrowed together watching your breast bouncing with each thrust you did. You felt you itself getting closer so you place your hands on his shoulders, lifting yourself up and down him faster. Your moans became so loud you knew somebody had to have heard you but at the moment you didn’t care .

You pulled his head in towards your breasts, while you grinded fast and hard against him, sweat beading down the side of your face.

“ I’m almost- I’m almost there” you moaned out as you looked down , watching him put his mouth around your nipple , swirling his tongue in circles. You felt the climax hit, letting out almost a squeal from feeling so good.

Tom quickly grabbed onto your hips pounding up into you filling you with his cum. You slowly rode out your climax with yo legs trembling before laying your head down in the crease of his neck.

“ you’re going to have to surprise me more often” Tom said laughing while you tried to catch your breath.

“ no shit” you responded laughing before attempting to climb off.

“ oh god” you said your legs wobbling.

“ you okay?l he asked as you flopped back down onto him.

“ I can’t stand up” you laughed, “ my legs are shaking to much” . He started laughing before kicking his pants all the way off, and picking you up, taking you back toward the bed in the back of the trailer.

“ so, how long do I have you for?” He asked laying down next to you, running his finger tips down your stomach.

“ all week baby, but next round you’re on top” you exclaimed while closing your eyes, grinning from ear to ear.

“ anything for you love”

[ectora]

So, after the post of season 2, I decided to continue with season 3. I wanted to do Until episode 9 cause that’s the strict half but I knew there was along break after episode 10 so I was like let’s do until ten. For the second part, I might do it for every episode separately in some sorte of episode review or whatever, or just wait for the end of the season and do a global season 3 post. We’ll see I guess, I’m an indecisive so I hate taking decisions lmao. Anyway, let’s get to it.

Screen time

Macy : 3h03m10s (10/10)

Mel : 2h47m12s (10/10)

Maggie : 2h40m57s (10/10)

Harry : 2h09m34s (10/10) (+Jimmie 7m37s)

Abigael : 47m40s (5/10)

Jordan : 1h02m24s (9/10)

Again, those numbers are not to the second but scene wise. The only time I would separate the screen time in the scene itself was if the focus was completely on one character (vision + sound) and we know another character is there but we don’t really see them).

As before, here a graph of the screen time per episode for each character.

*harry and jimmie’s screen time are mixed for the graph but again, Jimmie’s is like 7 minutes.

And here a graph of all the characters screen time by episode so it’s more easily comparable.

Now, again, the screen time is pretty obvious on the fact the sisters are and stay the focus of the show. But far. Though I’m Ngl, I was really surprised to see Maggie being the last of the three sisters. She had way more screen time in season 2 but idk in season 3 it also felt like she was also a bit ahead. At least of Mel. But I think that’s a question of how they handle the story. I think Maggie is actually the one with the best treatment out of the three sisters, with the more consistent development. So maybe that’s why she feels more present. Because she’s actually getting development. Mel, imo, can’t really say the same. She doesn’t have that much more screen time than Maggie and yet, to me, she feels a lot more less developed. Macy had her story focused around men last seasons. And if this season hasn’t fixed that issue when it comes to Hacy imo, I do feel she gets a bit more personal development. But still, Maggie feels the most developed to me.

Jordan is more present in the story so that’s good. I love him and I hope they can find him a good place in the story as a human because he’s a sweetheart. To be honest however, he could have a bit more screen time Ngl. Same can be said for Abigael. I personally have the feeling that the story she has now wasn’t necessarily planned if I’m being honest, which is why it feels so detached. And obviously she needs to have her story more liked to the main storyline and TCO so her presence can be more natural and cohesive. However when you think about it, half the episode when we’re half way through the season, for a regular/main character, it’s a bit weird. I hope going forward, they’ll fix both these issues. Have her be in more episode and linking her to the main story.

Detailed screen time

As I did last time, here are the tables with their detailed screen time with each other main characters.

* group means 2+ characters of the core six that doesn’t involve all three sisters.

To be honest, these tables brought light on issues we - I think- were already aware of. Mel/Macy for example is basically inexistant. It’s really sad to see them barely share scenes just the two of them. Like Mel and Maggie have really nice scenes together where we can see them talk and bond. Macy has that sometimes with Maggie too. But Mel and Macy ? We barely even know what their relationship is if I’m being honest. Like it feels like Maggie and Mel have each other and they make Macy have Harry. He is her one to go, the one they develop her relationship with the most which, imo opinion, shouldn’t be the case.

It brings me to my next point. I know it’s only half season but TCO purely together isn’t even the biggest screen time anymore. Hacy actually is. Love them or not, that’s not the topic, I think there is the need of a discussion about how they slowly shifted the focus of these two characters toward each other. The pairing isn’t an issue, the way it’s handled kinda is. Because at the end of the day it’s also a disservice to both of them. I know COVID is to be taken into account and that they’re limited in the interaction and that Harry is the most integrated of the three main supportive characters but it is still an issue. Even in the story, Harry is all about his relationship and sometimes forgets his duties. Macy’s first thought is basically Harry. They could have used some of this time to develop further the sisters between themselves. Like Maggie and Mel don’t feel as centred on their romance while Macy definitely feels like it’s the major characteristic of her character right now. Same with Harry.

In a general manner however, they’ve been doing better with the sisters sharing scenes that aren’t all about fighting but there is still some serious work to be done. As said, Mel and Maggie for example have some nice scenes where it’s a bit more domestic. They talk about their actual lives more. Maggie has that a bit with Macy too but it’s mostly Mel/Maggie. While Macy talks to Harry.

When it comes to their personal time, by that I mean without the core six, they have around the same time so that’s good. Tho again, as I said before, they have around the same time but it feels like some character just have better written development.

I’m also glad to see Jordan and Abigael share screen with a bit more characters but also would like to have more mix between the mains. It’s almost odd at this point to see Jordan interact with anyone else than Maggie and Harry. I loved his episode with Macy but it almost felt random because he shared 90% of his time with Maggie. Abby it’s a little bit less the case because I feel like in season 2 she had the opportunity to share scenes with all of them (and I want more cause I love it) but now I would like to see her interact with others more too.

PAIRINGS

Hacy : 53m11s

Joggie : 18m18s

Abimel : 12m37s

Melby : 5m58s

That’s probably one of the things that annoy me the most in the show so bare with me.

Let’s start with the small things. I’m Ngl, I’m a bit confused about Maggie. Jordan is pretty obviously supposed to be her love interest I think we can all agree on that. I don’t know if they’re trying to throw some love triangle drama or fake drama with Antonio but well. In any case, I think they’re just a bit more slow burn. And I do think they’re actually the best written romance in the show since the beginning. Maggie never feels centred around Jordan. And tho Jordan does majorly gravitates around Maggie, he also gets a story and development. And yet their love connexion is obvious. Don’t know why they can’t do that with others.

I think I made my issue with Hacy rather clear. Not the ship itself but the way the show does it. I mean their time is clearly superior to everyone else (and i know it’s because Harry is technically the fourth character in terms of importance and is integrated in the story but still, I think there are still things to be fixed about this) and I think the way the show tend t have these two continuously gravitate around each other first is a disservice and just too much at this point. Like in ten episodes they have had more than the entirety of season 2. I’m pretty sure it means something.

Which leads me to my last point. And the most annoying one. Mel. It’s a whole other level. The show has a serious issue on their hands. Mel is the only sister that isn’t straight. And her relationship are not even remotely treated the same as her sisters. Season 2 was one thing. But season 3 makes it so painfully obvious. And it’s not ok. She has two potential ships. And yet, the screen time of these two combined is barely above Maggie’s with Jordan. And not even half Hacy’s. And that’s a genuine issue. I need the show to start treating their lgbt relationship the same way they do the straights. I’m tired of ghosts. I’m tired of unseen. I’m tired of two dimensional. Of the lack of development. Or the unbalance with her sisters. It’s enough.

Talking about her potentiality, the show definitely has me confused with the whole Abimel/Melby situation. They’re hinting hard on the first one while keeping the second in the background. Which is entirely confusing. And low key a problem too. Because yes I ship Abimel but I do think Melby deserves better. And if the show is just keeping melby while they can develop Abimel then that’s just weird too.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Melby just doesn’t feel like a relationship the show has any interest of putting effort in. Ngl, when Mel said at ClexaCon that the writers didn’t really give them backgrounds or anything, it didn’t sound like freedom, it sounded like they just didn’t care enough to develop it. Sometimes, it almost feels like they just kept it around because of the Abigael backlash, so have a sapphic relationship while they can develop something else on the side. Ruby has a charming actress so she has that working for her, but her character is very superficially developed, they didn’t bother to give her depth and it doesn’t feel like it was meant to last with the whole not wanting to be involved in magic thing. I’m not trying to bash anyone or any ship, but that relationship does feel very superficial in terms of writing. And honestly if they’re just keeping it around while building something else, it’s in itself annoying due to the nature of the relationship. Like at that point it’s not even the bare minimum.

Abimel seems more build up already. They’ve been hinting at it since season 2, poring them all the time. The lines. The tensions the chemistry. The connexion. It genuinely feels like that’s were they were going toward. Because it just makes sense. It also makes sense in terms of pairing. All three sisters have their love interest in the main cast. Enemies to lovers trope. As said, it makes sense. But also who actually knows. Because let’s be honest, the show has an history with not treated sapphics the same way as straights. Which is even more obvious in this first part of the season and looking at the numbers. Again I understand Ruby is not a regular (which reinforce my previous points). But likes. That’s what brings me to say again and again that at this point, the show needs to either actually commit to that relationship and make Ruby an actual part of the show or let it go. Because what we have right now ? Not ok. Because they give us zero energy. And I’m pretty sure that if they wanted to actually do more, they definitely could have. Right now, the show is under a pretty bad light when it comes to lgbt characters and their treatment. It’s a bit ridiculous and it’s just not right.

Anyway, I think this concludes my rant. I’m sorry it’s very, very long and for WHAT 😭 I have too much time on my hands I’m telling you. Anyway, if you read all of that I hope you’re enjoyed but also you probably, too, have too much time.

[dorminchu]

Insult to Injury: The Director's Cut — Chapter 01

Note: All right, it's been a hot minute since I uploaded anything substantial in regard to this fic. So I'm going to try something a bit risky! I've archived Insult to Injury as you all know it, with the exception of a few errant reblogs outside of my control. But that's neither here nor there; I am very excited to present to all of you all the definitive version of this fic — the Director's Cut, if you will. ;)

Fandom: James Bond Characters: Madeleine Swann, Lyutsifer Safin, various OC(s) Relationships: Madeleine & OC(s) Warnings: Strong language, intense scenes of violence, general cynicism. Rating: M Genre: Crime/Drama Summary: A troubled psychologist desperate to escape her past criminal ties finds herself drawn into a far more insidious schism. [Post-Skyfall]

[Ao3 | FFNet]

— ACT I —

“Everything which is done in the present, affects the future by consequence, and the past by redemption.” — Paulo Coelho

— Episode I: A THOUSAND DETAILS —

In the sterile comfort of her office, Dr Madeleine Swann stared blankly at her computer monitor. The notification that her application as a psychologist consultant with the Médecins Sans Frontières had been sent six days prior blurred with lack of focus. The location of the mission in question was Conakry, Guinea. Her contract duration would last from the start of May to the end of August; just shy of two months away from now. There was an additional caveat:

All non-ECOWAS foreigners are required to have a valid Guinean visa and a vaccination card in order to be granted entry. Yellow fever vaccination cards are verified upon entry into the country at Gbessia.

Approval for the visa necessitated a seventy-two-hour window of clearance. And it would be at least four weeks until she heard back from the Human Resources Office—up to six if she were unlucky. She sat erect and the movement alone was enough to incite a sharp stab of pain into the back of her head. Through the window the sun cast a reddish glare, obfuscating the monitor and warming the nape of her neck. She shoved her face into the heels of her palms while the pressure in her skull abated to a dull throbbing.

Usually she made a habit of drawing the blinds. There were already enough odd complaints about her office being too cold and sterile passed along by the secretary. It had been a stressful enough week that Madeleine saw no reason to keep the shutters closed, so her clients might have something else to focus on besides four polished wooden walls and the analog clock.

What came off to most outsiders as a cool and direct manner of conduct was simply pragmatism. She had a laptop computer used primarily for sending emails. She recorded the bulk of her notes on patients by-hand and revised by means of portable recorder. She kept no photographs in her home nor office. The casual anecdotes she provided to her colleagues were ostensibly as droll as her taste in décor; though her efforts to blend in had largely gone unappreciated.

There wasn’t anything else immediate to review for tonight. She wished a curt good-night to the secretary before donning her coat and exiting into the crisp evening air.

⁂

It was only a fifteen-minute walk from the clinic to the flat. Above her head the clouds hung grey and pregnant with snow. By the time she had ascended the staircase and opened the door to her apartment her fingers prickled. Numbness seeped into her skin. She’d never much cared for the colder seasons.

“You’re back early,” said Arnaud—a fellow Sociology major from her college days. After graduating from Oxford, Madeleine had taken his offer to return to Paris and transfer over to the 8tharrondissement with the understanding that they would be rooming together. Her colleagues back then often referred to them as friends-with-benefits as Madeleine had showed little interest in dating before. After three years of cohabitation, her co-workers at the office wondered how she and Arnaud remained so cordial while balancing their careers and relationship.

“Yes.” Madeleine hung up her coat, noting that he had not yet changed out of his own. “I submitted my request with the MSF a week ago. If I am accepted I’ll be working as a psychologist consultant. In that case, I’ll be out of the country until August at least.”

“Well, you’ve never landed a position that didn’t suit you.” Madeleine smiled politely. “Can I get you anything?”

“No, thanks.” She looked away from him towards the window. “You could open the blinds. It's very bright in here with the lights on.”

“There’s hardly much to look at when the sun is in your eyes. Isn’t that what you say?”

For the most part, Arnaud was easy to live with. Neither of them required financial support and he was of equitable social standing. Her relentless volunteer work did not always lend much time to get to know his inner mind. “It’s late. Are you going out again?”

“No, I got back first. And it’s fortunate. You looked awfully cold when you came in.”

“I can hardly control the weather. And you needn’t worry, I always carry a key on me.”

“Madeleine, we live together. It wouldn’t be right to avoid you. But you know, if I were going out to an unscrupulous club it would make for a pretty good story.”

“Hm.”

“And knowing you,” Arnaud continued, “you probably won’t be going out drinking. The sunrise disturbs you in the mornings, and you woke up before I did, at seven. I assume you’ve been busy all day. In just a few weeks you’ll be working that much harder. You ought to get some rest while you can.”

“So,” a little cooler, “you’ll be another mission?”

“Most likely.”

“All these countries must seem the same after a while.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to understand. When was the last time you volunteered out of the country? 2011?”

Arnaud laughed. “Jesus, this isn’t a competition.”

“But it’ll give you something to talk about to your friends while I am away.”

Arnaud said nothing. Madeleine frowned. She went into the other room and began to change. He could not approach her in the same casual manner as his peers, nor dissect her outright. His life was one of prestige as well as privilege, and Madeleine could not foster any underlying resentment towards him for acting in his nature. The silence held, strained. Then Arnaud said:

“It’s always been important to you. That’s what should matter.”

⁂

In two weeks’ time she got a response from the HRO; the initial interview was scheduled shortly thereafter. By the middle of April she was making preparations to depart. Thanks to Arnaud’s tactic of avoidance she had little reason to tell him the details. No one would know where she was headed unless they broke inside her laptop and hunted through her mail. The situation in Guinea had kicked into mainstream awareness back in February for a week or so before gradually sinking back into obscurity.

Reports from several news outlets cited the emergence of an outbreak primarily affecting South Africa. Originating inland, a mysterious illness that revealed itself first with fever and spells of vomiting, then gradually ate away at the flesh of those afflicted and bore their bones and muscle, vulnerable to further rot. More emboldened journalists had taken to calling it the Red Death on account of this. Neither a cure nor a place or origin had been discovered.

The situation had not improved in the last two months so much as stabilised. Madeleine had been assured several times over email and electronic conference that those working in the field had already taken precautions, and she’d be instructed further on what to do upon her arrival. She was issued a few pamphlets and strongly advised to vaccinate before boarding the flight. Which she had done, but it was very kind of them to remind her.

In spite of Arnaud’s apparent disinterest, his last words to her before she departed had been: “Last year it was four missions. I'd never seen you so tired. I wish I knew what you’re trying to prove.”

After managing to get some sleep on the plane she touched down Conakry International Airport around mid-morning and contacted the Project Coordinator; a shorter man in his mid-forties with a photogenic smile and toupee. He clasped her hand in both of his clammy ones and said: “Very glad you've made it, Doctor. We need you on-site in twenty minutes. Make sure you are ready.” Her luggage was dropped off on the second floor of the Grand Hotel de L’independence, where she and the other MSF members would be rooming. The staff were polite enough, though their attention was fixed on the Project Coordinator.

Her room was spare and a little dingy, and the only means of fresh air came from opening the window and polluting the room with outside noise, but it was at least reasonably clean. A fine sheen of sweat was building on her skin. No reason to delay the inevitable.

Upon reaching Donka Hospital she met up with the rest of the team, most notably the Medical Coordinator, and the Psychosocial Unit. It soon became apparent that there were still not enough medical doctors to handle the influx of infected. An isolation ward had been established before the MSF’s involvement, but they were reportedly at full capacity; the workers in there were clad in full-body personal protective equipment. Another section of the grounds had been set aside and fenced off; rows of tents all lined up, reminding Madeleine distantly of a prisoner’s accommodations. No matter where you went the stench of rot always seemed to hang pervasively in the air.

She was paired off with another psychologist by the name of John Herrmann; American, around her age. He was of a friendlier disposition than she was used to, introducing her semi-formally to the rest of the group before adding:

“So, one thing you should know now, we’ve been having problems with the electricity on site as well as the hotel. There’s no running water either.”

“This isn’t my first mission with MSF. And I lived out in the countryside when I was small. I know how to look after myself.”

Herrmann smiled. “That’s fair.” He scratched his neck. “The mosquitoes are worse. Bug nets won’t help worth a damn. Make sure you close your windows at night, I had to learn that the hard way.”

“I see.” The humidity combined with the smell off-road were already becoming intolerable. But she did not want to appear so snobbish or weak in front of someone she would be monitoring for the next three months. “I won’t go any easier on you just because you are unaccustomed to the environment.”

 “See ,that’s the kind of attitude we need around here!” He clapped a hand on her back; Madeleine regarded him levelly until he relented. “Good to have you on the team.”

The other members on the Psychosocial Unit were as amicable with Madeleine as the situation permitted. None of them got on her nerves as much as Herrmann. His enthusiasm was never to the point of seeming false or obsequious, but he remained just enough of a go-getter to piss her off. After a week of monitoring them she came away with the impression that Herrmann was genuine. He had been consistently genial with the clientele and hospital staff alike, no matter the severity of their condition. She saw no reason to socialise with him outright. The most he ever noted about her mood was: “You’re pretty reticent for a psychologist consultant.”

“I’m here to do my job. That’s all.”

Herrmann shrugged. “I can respect that. We all deal with the situation in our own ways.” He paused. “I can see why the Project Coordinator wanted you. You’re handling this situation a lot better than I would have.”

“Thank you.”

“The workload must be insane compared to what you’re normally used to. I know it took me time to adjust—" he stopped as Madeleine threw him a look of confusion “—what is it?”

“Back home, I am usually referred to as what one would call a workaholic. Or didn’t anyone tell you?”

“Oh, hey, I didn’t mean to imply—”

“No offence taken.”

The higher temperature was not so bad as the humidity that slapped her in the face whenever stepping outside—according to the forecasts, it was only going to get worse within the coming months. There was no manner of ventilation or air-conditioning in the hotel so often times she had to draw the curtains and keep her hair back. She resigned herself by reminding herself that it was better than sleeping in a tent.

There wasn’t much time to be hung-up on much else besides her assignment. The members of the Psychosocial Unit all looked good on paper, but they betrayed their inexperience through a shared level of idealism towards the mission that Madeleine deemed ill-fated. She did not blame them. Young, perhaps fresh out of school, looking to make a difference in the world without truly anticipating the gravity of the situation. Their time spent observing the crises of the rest of the world through the lens of journalism and outside empathy could not compare with the experience of actually sitting down and listening to the stuff their patients talked of with prosaic seriousness.

It often sounded outrageous when Madeleine played back the recordings, taking down notes in the quiet, stuffy hotel room. Mortality was an expected outcome, and the implication of negligence by their government a common topic of discussion among patients. Most conversations were conducted in French or else by way of an interpreter, though the antagonism in the voices of these patients needed no translation.

There was a growing disparity between the narrative put into circulation by the news and what was happening in the field. According to several members of the MSF and the staff at Donka, the media blew the problem out of proportion. The people whose condition had kicked off the “Red Death” story had been subjected to long-term exposure. Most of the patients that came through were not in that same condition, but it created an illusion of immediacy that incited concern in the public eye and a need for donations. Government officials wanted to cover up the severity of the situation as not to detract from any potential business opportunities; until the MSF got involved, they were only employing the most rudimentary of safety procedures.

This latter revelation had shaken up the Psychosocial Unit considerably; Dr Herrmann had lost his patience with the Medical Coordinator. To this end, he’d apologised profusely to Madeleine afterwards though she would hear none of it. Whatever he felt about the situation was not necessarily invalid, but out of consideration for their patients, he would not bring it up again.

Herrmann never held it against her. So Madeleine busied herself in her own work. Whatever quiet camaraderie forged between the other MSF members was not her business. When pressed for advice, she would talk calmly, carefully with the rest of the team about what would be optimal but never overreach. In the sweltering nights and throughout the early morning, Madeleine would pore over her notes, listening to the passing automobiles and indistinct conversation carried over by civilians.

⁂

June crawled by. Currently the MSF were in the process of dealing with a new influx of internally displaced persons (IDPs) from the surrounding prefectures and villages, all of whom had to be tested and separated from those not stricken with disease. Thanks to the cooperation with the local civilians and tireless efforts on part of the medical staff and Medical Unit, there had been a forty-five-percent decrease in fatalities compared to the start of the year.

The atmosphere within the hospital was not improving. The topic of insurgence was the new favourite with patients. Allegedly there had been several attacks on neighbouring villages; a consequence of the lack of tangible progress coupled with deep-seated mistrust of government officials. Now the Force Sécurité/Protection, or FSP, had been brought on in collaboration with an additional Protective Services Detail (PSD) by the name of Kerberos, to ensure the hospital and surrounding property remained untouched.

Their Project Coordinator called them all in for the sake of reviewing protocol in the event of an attack. Outright criticism of the government’s method in handling the situation was discouraged. Madeleine was savvy enough to keep herself abreast of any controversy. For the rest of the Psychosocial Unit, she presumed they were either too naïve or willing to look the other way.

The only exception to this was the Vaccines Medical Advisor, Francis Kessler; a stoic older man with thinning hair and glasses. He and Madeleine had cooperated a handful of times beforehand, at the discreet behest of the Medical Coordinator. Madeleine had found nothing wrong with his conduct. A diligent worker, he acknowledged her judgement fairly but did not overextend his gratitude. Outside of his work he was straight-laced and reserved and wouldn’t be seen socialising with any of the younger MSF who all talked about him as though he were some out-of-touch stick-in-the-mud. As the situation in the hospital became more dire he would stay behind on-site, late into the evening. Whenever they had a break, he would disappear on calls. Once he came back late by only a few minutes and apologised to Madeleine.

“I was supposed to be sent home last month, but with the situation being what it is, I decided to stay on until things are resolved.” He did not sit down, his attention turned towards the path back to the infected ward. “It’s madness. We’ve already waited until things are too severe to think of bringing in a proper security detail—who the hell does the Project Coordinator think we’re fooling?” Madeleine ignored him. “Dr Swann. The Medical Coordinator tells me you’ve been involved in volunteer work for a while.”

“Five years, as of March.”

“Perhaps they would be more willing to listen to someone with your expertise.”

“I’m flattered. But it’s fortunate that I was not selected for my personal opinion.”

Kessler chuckled. “You’ll go far.”

Madeleine had no interest in pursuing this topic any further. “Who were you speaking to?” He froze up, didn’t answer immediately. “My apologies. I shouldn’t have been so blunt. But you leave often enough on calls, and it appears to be taking a toll on you.”

Comprehension dawned on his face, his shoulders relaxed. “Just my wife. This past month has been no easier on her. But I find that it can help somewhat, just talking to someone outside of this element.” Madeleine nodded stoically. “I’ve never seen you contact anyone outside of your unit.” Madeleine did not anticipate the conversation to take such a turn, nor did she wish to divulge much about herself. But she could not deflect as she could in the clinic back home, and Kessler seemed forthright enough to warrant a harmless response.

“I’m living with a friend. We graduated from college together.”

“And you keep in touch while you are abroad?”

“He tends to lead his own life while I am away.”

“That’s a great deal to ask of someone.” Madeleine inclined her head in his direction. This was not a man that emoted often; now the thin mouth was set, and the eyes behind the glasses disillusioned. “Few women your age would devote themselves to a thankless vocation as this. Not everyone is going to want to stick around until you decide you want to settle down.”

Madeleine’s smile did not touch her eyes. She hadn’t even mentioned the nature of her relationship to Arnaud. “We have an understanding, that’s all. Besides, I don’t bother him about his social life.”

Kessler shook his head. In a few minutes they were back to work as usual. By the end of the day, Madeleine resolved to let him dig his own social grave without further interference.

By the time July rolled around Madeleine found her mind snagging easily on technicalities. She became less tolerant of the Psychological Unit’s personal hang-ups with the lack of resources and lack of any obvious moral closure. Smell of rot and disinfectant permeated into her clothing and hair until she had begun to associate the smell itself with a total lack of progress.

She left the window to her hotel room cracked most nights, afraid to open it completely. Alone with her own mind and the recorder. The conversations now circled back readily to death and terrorism. An overwhelming fear of retaliation from looming insurrection.

Madeleine stopped the recording. She checked the time and cursed under her breath. Just past one in the morning. In six hours she would return to Donka Hospital and repeat the process. A month and a half from now she would be on a flight back to Paris. Her mind wouldn't settle on either direction.

Outside her window she heard the distant voice of Francis Kessler. He was conversing in German, from a few storeys down, but as Madeleine came over to the window she understood him clearly:

“…I’ve been saying it for weeks, and they dismiss me every time. These wounds are the result of prolonged exposure from chemicals. We’ve seen evidence of IDPs coming through, exhibiting the same symptoms as the PMCs we treated back in February. How we can expect to make any progress if the Project Coordinator refuses to bring this up? We’re putting God-knows how many lives at risk waiting for a vaccine that we don’t know if we need—and even so, it won’t be ready for another week. There’s not enough time to justify keeping silent….”

Madeleine closed the window carefully. She’d never been one to intrude on family matters.

⁂

When Madeleine exited her room the next morning, she found the Project Coordinator waiting for her in the hallway, along with the head of security from Kerberos and a couple Donka Hospital staff Madeleine knew by sight but not intimately.

The vaccines had arrived earlier than anticipated, around three or four in the morning. Several members of the Medical Unit had stayed on-site in order to determine if all had been accounted for and subsequently realised it was rigged. Thanks to the intervention of Kerberos the losses were minimal. Several doctors had suffered chemical exposure and were currently isolated from the rest of the IDPs to receive immediate medical attention. Others, such as Drs Kessler and Herrmann, had been less fortunate.

Now there was additional pressure from the hospital doctors and Logistics Team to begin moving the high-risk patients to a safer area. The fear that this story would circulate and any chance of obtaining vaccines would be discouraged could not be ruled out. So they would not be reporting this as a chemical attack, but as a failed interception of an attack by local terrorists, stopped by the FSPs.

“Dr Swann.” The head of security, Lucifer Safin, gave Madeleine pause. His accent would presume a Czech or Russian background but his complexion and eye colour invited room for ambiguity. The MSF on staff commonly referred to him by surname; perhaps Lucifer was simply an alias. What set him apart was his face. Gruesomely scarred from his right temple to the base of his left jaw, though the structure of his eyes and nose remained intact. In spite of the weather, Madeleine had never seen him without gloves. “I understand that you were one of the last to speak with Dr Kessler?”

His manner wasn’t explicitly taciturn, more akin to the disconcerting silence one might experience while looking into a body of still-water—met only with your reflection.

“Yes,” said Madeleine, “but that was nearly five days ago.”

“You were instructed to monitor him during that period by the Medical Coordinator?”

 “That’s correct.”

Safin glanced at the Project Coordinator. “I’ll speak with her alone.”

“Of course.”

Safin nodded. They walked down the length of the hall back to her room. His gait was purposeful and direct. He had a rifle strapped to his side. Madeleine tried to avoid concentrating on it. Her attention went to the window. She'd forgotten to lock it.

“Dr Swann.” The early morning light put his disfigurement into a new, unsettling clarity. Too intricate to be leprosy or a typical burn wound, it was more as if his very face were made of porcelain and had suffered a nasty blow, then glued together again. “What was the extent of your relationship to Dr Kessler?”

“I did not work with him often. We talked once or twice but that was all. I have my own responsibilities with the Psychosocial Unit. From what I could tell, he never made an effort to befriend anyone.”

“But you were asked to monitor Dr Kessler.”

“I was requested to do so on behalf of the Medical Coordinator. There were concerns that Dr Kessler was somehow unqualified to continue his work. In observing him, I had no reason to suspect he was unfit for the position psychologically.” Safin said nothing. “The only issue I could see worth disqualifying him for, was that Kessler and the Project Coordinator had very differing views on protocol.”

“He spoke to you about his views?”

“He expressed to me once, in confidence, that he did not understand the Project Coordinator’s hesitance to bring in a security detail.” Safin’s attention on her became sharper. “He also told me he’d elected to continue volunteering here past his contract duration, just to ensure the operation was successful. That was my only conversation with him outside of a work-related context. You would be better off asking the other doctors about this.”

“We have video surveillance in place on the Grand Hotel de L’independence. At around one in the morning, Dr Kessler exited the building and contacted an unknown party by mobile phone. Then, a minute later, you were at your window.”

“Oh, yes. I have been forgetting to close it. With so many longer days, it can be difficult to remember these things.”

“Your room was the only one to show signs of activity at that hour.”

“I was reviewing my notes from that day’s session. I heard a voice from outside, though not clearly. It was distracting me from my work, so I got up and closed the window.”

“Do you commonly review your notes in the early hours of the morning with an unlocked window?”

“I just wanted some quiet. I leave the windows open because otherwise I seem to find myself trapped with the smell of rotting flesh as well as humidity.”

Safin’s expression became easier to read, but not in a positive sense. This was not a man you wanted to be on opposing sides with. Madeleine kept any apprehension away from her face and her voice tightly controlled.

“Look. Without information about Dr Kessler’s lifestyle outside of the MSF, I cannot give you an answer in good faith. I was assigned to survey him. He showed no signs of dereliction in his work, and to my knowledge kept his personal views separate from his work. Whatever he said to me during outside hours was assumed to be in confidence. Many people say things to one another in what they believe to be confidence that they would not admit to otherwise. If I had reason to suspect he was unfit to work, I would have contacted the Medical Advisor immediately.”

Safin held her gaze. She did not dare avert her face. Then he said: “Thank you for your cooperation. The Project Coordinator is waiting for you downstairs.”

The rest of the day she spent in a different wing of the hospital. The Psychosocial Unit was cut down from four members to three. Another inconsequential day of thankless work that never seemed quite good enough. That night Madeleine laid back on her bed and watched the shadows on the ceiling stretch over peeling paint until daybreak.

When she’d arrived at the airport she could stave off her doubts with shallow, private reassurances. As long as you are here, you are just Dr Swann the psychologist consultant. Your father is many miles away and he won’t contact you again. No one else will come looking for you in a place like this.

With a guy like Safin around she was undoubtedly safer than she would have been with the FSPs alone.

Safer, but no longer invisible.

⁂

July brought hotter weather and brittle peace—the vaccines had finally arrived. The wing of the hospital that had suffered the terrorist attack was still closed and they had lost several more staff members wounded in the initial attack. Madeleine and the remaining MSF were encouraged by the Project Coordinator to take earlier shifts. Progress remained steady but there was no clear resolution in sight. The stench of rot imprinted into Madeleine’s senses to the point where she no longer consciously registered her own nausea. Discontent among the staff continued to bubble under the surface on account of the closed wing and bad press.

It couldn't last forever.

A week away from August. Just another humid morning at six AM. Madeleine rose and prepared herself mentally for the day ahead. Stress kept her mind working late into the night, but her position with the Psychosocial Unit barred her from working overtime in the hospital. She was overwhelmed with keeping up the pace, not yet to the point of exhaustion.

There was an inordinate of activity on the road outside as she got dressed and left the room. She put it out of her mind.

Outside the hotel she met up with the Medical Coordinator and a few members of the Logistics Unit. They spent about ten minutes standing idle in the humid air, too weary to speak. The streets were usually empty this time of day.

An unremarkable black Jeep pulled up. The Medical Coordinator opened the door and was about to step into the car when it happened. The Medical Coordinator’s head burst over the interior of the vehicle and Madeleine. The body slumped like a doll to the dirt. Madeleine wanted to scream but could not. She turned and found herself facing down the barrel of a rifle.

Around a dozen men with guns, sans insignia, circled them. The man who had fired addressed her harshly in French: “Where are the rest of the MSF? Why are they not at the hospital?”

“I don’t understand.” Madeleine could see another group of men approaching from the rear. A massacre, onset.

“We’ve been waiting for months for a solution, and you have been injecting us with a useless vaccine.” He aimed right at her sternum. “Your doctors gave them all false hope for months. Now the MSF have abandoned you.”

“You have been protecting them!” the insurgent roared, levelling his weapon. “All this time! You knew why they were here, and you allowed them to experiment on our families like dogs!”

The man at his left turned and fired. The insurgent fell dead. “That’s enough.” One of the men from Kerberos in plainclothes. A dozen more in military gear materialised as if from nowhere. “There is no need for additional bloodshed,” said the plainclothes. “Release them now or you will be shot.”

All around her at once, gunfire. Madeleine didn't wait to see who had fired first. She prostrated herself, hands clasped over her neck, breath clogged in her throat.

All sound ceased. Her head continued to ring. Her eyes were open but she did not process the colour staining her skin, on her clothes, the smell of it. She hadn’t been shot. Her heart hammered against her ribcage.

Heavy footsteps approaching. She closed her eyes awaiting the kiss of metal at her temple.

“Dr Swann.” Madeleine shrunk away instinctively from the gloved hand upon her forearm. “It’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Another soldier pulled her upright. Sight of blood on dry earth briefly mixed up with blood spattered across wooden floorboards. Madeleine went limp. Ushered into the backseat of an unmarked Jeep, she could not stop trembling. Shoulder-to-shoulder with another man she recognised as head of Logistics, Peter Miller. The door slammed shut, jolting her back into her own body. Sound of the ignition set her into trembling. Miller’s naked hand materialised on her shoulder. His voice overtaken by the roaring in her ears. Madeleine bowed her head into her hands like a child, whispering: “Ne me tuez pas. Je n’ai rien fait. Je ne sais rien.”