#I’m So Blessed You’re Mine Lyrics

[inherstars]

Rest | The Last of Us (3,407 words)

This takes place the first winter after Joel an Ellie return to Jackson. The two versions of Joel need to be written differently, and I had the TV version in mind when penning this one, but I actually think it works for both. Joel gets sick, and Ellie takes it upon herself to care for him.

His voice wavered with amusement. Maybe exasperation.  Where Ellie was concerned, it was usually both.

“You have to--you can’t skip the rest.”

“The what?”

“The rest.  Look--you see this thing here?” He reached out, tap-tapping a fingertip to the sheet music before her.  Ellie frowned at it.  “Yeah, that’s not just there to look pretty, it means something.  All the notes mean something.”

She was getting aggravated.  Joel estimated she had another five minutes left in her before she declared the lesson done for the day.

“Well what does that note mean?”

“It means rest.”

“I’m not tired.”

He draped both arms atop his guitar and put his forehead down on them. Christ, this fucking kid.  Ellie’s head hung back, taking her turn with exasperation.

“Whaaaat?”

“Okay.”  He sat up again, fixing the grip on his own guitar.  “Look--no, don’t look at me, look at the notes and listen while I’m playing.  I’m going to slow it down, but follow along.”  He tapped the measure on the paper. “You ready?”

Her head bobbed in a single nod. “Ready.”

“Okay.”  At a slightly-less-than-annotated pace he strummed through the chords, the coarse timbre of his voice moving calmly through the lyrics as he went.  “...I keep a close watch on this heart of mine--rest--I keep my eyes wide open all the time--rest, rest--do you see?”

“Ohhh.  There’s more than one.”

“Right.  You need to learn them and watch out for them, at least until you start to pick up the natural rhythm of how the song flows.  Usually after the first go-through it will stick in your head where you’re meant to pause, and for how long.”

She reached out, picking up the folded booklet and scanning ahead.  She reread the notation, the rests, the lyrics.

“Holy shit, is this song about you or what?”

Joel took it from her with a sigh.  “Wow, you made it three whole minutes longer than I thought you would.”

“What? No--wait, hey!  Give it back!”  He held it easily out of her reach, pivoting his arm away when she tried to stand and grab for it instead.  “How am I supposed to practice without sheet music?”

“You’ve got like three books in your room, you can practice with those.”  He closed the music, tossing it behind him on the bed.  “Besides which, you need to work on your chord progressions some more.  Focus on that for now.”

Ellie sulked at him with an exaggerated pout, by which he was moved not an inch.  He bumped her with his elbow.

“Git.”

She stood, swinging her own guitar around by its strap, letting it rest at an angle across her back.

“Stupid Johnny Cash.”  Her voice dropped a mocking octave. “Steady like a train, sharp like a razor.”

Joel shook his head, looking back and forth between his picking and his silent fingering on the frets.

“Should’ve never let you watch that movie.”

She made it to the doorway and turned in place as she backed out, batting her eyes at him.

“Love youuuuuu.”

“Git,” he said again, head bowing further, but the crooked curl of a smirk betrayed him.

Ellie was halfway down the hall to her own room before she heard the distinctive sound of Joel’s sneeze.

“Bless you,” she called out, and paused to listen for a response.  Nothing.

Then, faintly, “M-hm.”

He was so weird.

In good faith Ellie practiced for awhile, grimacing through the slow but unavoidable pinch and pain of developing the stupid calluses Joel kept going on and on about.  After a half hour she could no longer feel two of her fingers, so she supposed that was a good start.

All throughout, and in-between the occasional inept chord change, she heard bursts of his crackling cough from the other room.  When she finally unslung the guitar and returned it to its case, she realized it had been a background noise for most of the day.

“Hey Joel--” she called out, standing, then startled as he appeared abruptly in the doorway. “Jesus!”

“Hey,” he interrupted, snagging in a rough sniffle.  “Tommy’s on the horn, bunch of the hogs got out. I’m gonna run over and give him a hand, but I don’t know how long I’ll be.  You OK fixing yourself dinner, if I’m not back in time?”

“Oh shit,” she said excitedly. “Can I come?”

“No.” Unflappable. “You got homework.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do.  Do your homework.  Maybe clean this up while you’re at it,” as he backed a way he made a vague gesture around the perfectly… well, mostly acceptable state of her room.  “Already looks like a sty.”

Ellie followed him only as far as her own threshold, frowning as he picked up his buckskin coat and shrugged into it.

“How do you know I have homework?”

“It’s like you forget I already did this with one smartass kid before you ever came around.”  He barely got his arm into a sleeve before he had it pressed to his face, shoulders hunching with another shotgun sneeze.  He sighed.  Sniffled.  Muttered a barely audible, “Shit.”

Ellie came forward a bit more, zeroed on him. “Hey, what’s with--”

“Homework.”  He snagged a scarf and was already halfway out the door.  “And eat something other than pickles for dinner.”

She stood frowning, even after the shudder of the shutting door had quieted, then turned reluctantly back to her room.

“Fuck you, pickles are awesome.”

*******

Ellie polished off homework in record time, and even managed a dinner of something that contained, but was not exclusively comprised of, pickles.  She was a woman of her word, if nothing else.  Halfway through packing both their lunches for the next day, the front door finally blew open with blustering drama, and Joel made his return.

Or something vaguely in the shape of Joel.

The overall size and dimensions were right, the buckskin coat was the same, though both it and his hair were heavily mantled in snow.  He was nothing but mud and slush from the knees down, hands evidently so frozen that all he could do was stand there and paw ineffectively at his gloves, trying to get them off.

Ellie took in the exhausted, punch-drunk slump of his shoulders with sympathy and amusement.  Good thing she didn’t join him after all.

“You look like you smell awesome.”

“Fucking hate hogs.”

“But you love bacon,” she countered.

“After tonight, I only like it for the sense of revenge.”  After watching multiple unsuccessful attempts to remove his gloves, Ellie finally came to his assistance.  She didn’t even want to touch them, gunked as they were with mud, ice, and probably pig shit, but it was either that or watch him stand there all night, swaying like a Mortal Kombat character.  Just as she got the second one off he planted a bare hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her from him as he raised his other arm to his face.  

“Ellie, stand clear--”

“Huh?”

He buckled into his elbow with another sneeze, this time lingering his arm in place afterwards, long after he should have simply relaxed and moved on.  By the time it dropped away, he found Ellie ogling him with arch worry.  He sighed, apologetic, and the hand still at her shoulder squeezed once before letting go.  “Sorry.”

But she just stood there, still holding his gloves, having unexpectedly run dry of all sarcasm.  She didn’t like this.

“Are you sick?”

“Nah, I’m…”  Well, yeah.  But also, no.  “The weather’s just kicking the shit out of me.  I’m fine. It’s fine. It’ll be fine.”

“You’re saying fine way too much for it to actually be fine.”

Joel had just enough strength for another sigh.  He took the gloves from her, doing an awkward flamingo balance from one foot to the other to climb out of his boots.  The feeling of ice-cold, mud-soaked denim on his bare skin made him grimace. “You finish your homework?”

No no no.  She wasn’t being put off.  Not like this.  “Joel.”

He flicked a mild look to the kitchen. “That pickle jar looks a lot emptier than I remember.”

“Joel.”

“Hey.”  He reached out, cupping the subtle angle of her jaw, framing her entire face in the warm, rough cushion of his palm.  Calluses, burred knuckles, wind-chapped skin and a touch so gentle she could cry.  “It’s fine.  I’m just beat.  Gonna leave all this shit outside, I’ll worry about it in the morning, then I’m gonna shower and hit the sack.”  Her eyes were searching him still, burrowing into him the same as when he’d sworn that his story about the hospital in Salt Lake was true.  That was the look of reckoning, and it chilled him worse than any winter storm.  “Homework’s good?  Got enough to eat?”

Her gaze softened and dropped, the same as when she’d chosen -- willingly or otherwise -- to believe his last lie.

“Yeah.”

His hand fell away, and he gave her a small, punctuating nod.

“Alright, good.  You lock up for me?”

“Okay.”  

Joel finally got free from both boots, his coat, depositing everything carelessly on the snowy mat outside.  He squeezed her shoulder again as he soldiered tiredly to his room.  “Night, kiddo.  Love you.”

Only her eyes tracked him.

“Love you too.”

*******

She didn’t know why she thought sleeping would help.  Useless idea.  Total mistake.

Ellie even put it off for as long as she could, hoping that if she fucked around and wasted enough time doing other dumb, meaningless, time-consuming shit that eventually her brain or body would concede that, okay, sleep did sound pretty appealing.

Nope.  No part of her was having it.

It didn’t help that, despite his best efforts, Joel couldn’t just lay there and suffer in silence.  With clockwork regularity the silence and stillness broke with his wracking cough, the occasional bedframe squeak revealing the restrained force of it.  By midnight he just gave up trying to sleep altogether.

Ellie lay awake, listening, and saw his dark silhouette lean into her room just enough to gently close her door, trying to preserve her own presumed sleep.

Five minutes later she fumbled a hoodie over her pajamas and padded out after him.

He spotted her just as he heaped limply onto the sofa, and immediately sighed.

“Shit. I’m sorry, El.  Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t.”  She yanked the hoodie’s zipper up with satisfaction. “I’ve been up the whole time.”

Joel loosened a slow breath, regarding her… then the empty living room… then back to her.

“On account of me?”

She didn’t want to lie, but also didn’t want to burden him with any additional guilt.

“One way or another. Kinda.”

He grunted, disappointed in himself, and his own once-again-stellar parenting. “...you oughta be in bed.”

She roughened her voice in an approximation of his own, mimicking a slightly surly swagger to the couch before flouncing down beside him. “So oughta you.”

Joel side-eyed her.  She tucked her chin down, eyes upturned, lips pressed in a thin but irrepressible smile.

“...fuckin’ hard-headed, stubborn, pain-in-my ass--”

“Yeahyeahyeah, I’m a total superstar, I know.”  Ellie reached for his arm, lifting it well over her head, then curled it around her shoulders.  Joel let her manipulate him without complaint, only turning his head away and uncurling his fingers to shield her from a single, congested cough.  When he turned back, she plastered her hand over his forehead like she’d been waiting for the chance.

“What is this,” he asked.

“This is what it feels like when somebody cares about you.”  She met his eyes.  “Dumbass.”

“Hm.”

Her palm was heavy and cool, the pressure of it on his brow oddly comforting.  Judging by the way she frowned, and searched him, and nervously licked her teeth, she didn’t like what it told her.  Joel sighed and reached up, taking her hand down in his own.

“Come on.  Enough of this.  You need to get back to bed.  Get some actual sleep.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll… I don’t know, try to lie down for a couple more hours before work.”

“Before work?  Are you kidding me?” “Shit’s gotta get done, Ellie--”

“Yeah,  by somebody else, Joel!”

“More hands makes--”

“Fuck that dirty-south, cowboy, Marlborough-martyr bullshit for two minutes, would you?”

He leaned way back, rolling the whites of his eyes at her.  “Dirty south?”  When she thumped her palm against his shoulder he feigned an injured, “Ow!”

Inwardly he struggled not to laugh. Holy Christ was she angry.  Despite his perfect deadpan, there was still a tiny warble of amusement in his voice as he demanded, “What’s got into you?”

Oh, she’d been waiting for that.  She’d knocked at the door and he’d opened it all the way.

“Rest,” she accused, emphatic.  “You can’t skip the rest.”

Joel rubbed sorely where she’d thumped him, relaxing from his recoiled lean.

“Don’t know why you’re so mean to me.  Probably too many pickles.”

Ellie stuttered with a sniggering laugh, shoving him with both hands.  Gently, this time. “Asshole.”

“Hm.”

“I mean it.”

“Alright, you mean it.  I’ll tell Tommy in the morning, I need a day.”  He checked her with a look and leaned away again. “Maybe two.”

“Good.”  She pushed up from the couch, hands jammed into her hoodie pockets as she marched off.  

“Now where are you going?”

“To get you a blanket.  And I don’t know… soup, or something.  On account of you being so bad at looking after yourself.”

He watched her go, itching a knuckle under his nose.  “Think you can manage tea?”

Ellie cheered immediately, already detouring for the kitchen.  “Oh yeah, good idea.”

“Alright, then.”  He let his head rest back, smirking faintly. “Hope I don’t regret this.”

*******

Ellie stared, fascinated, the TV battering them softly in blue and white light.

“None of this makes sense.”

“Yeah, that was pretty much the entire theme of the 1980s.”  Joel set his tea aside and picked up the cardboard VHS sleeve beside him, garishly patterned with the box art from season one of Full House.  “You had to be there.”

“I’m kinda glad I wasn’t.”

She’d managed to brew him a decent mug of tea, heavy-handed on the honey, just how he liked it.  He’d been hesitant to waste a bowl of perfectly good soup on his already anemic appetite, but Ellie brooked no argument and brought it to him anyway.  They’d decided what to watch by reaching blindly into the box of old VHS cassettes, and now she was nestled close against his ribs, head rested back on his shoulder, marveling at the grainy, laugh-tracked evidence of a world gone before she was ever conceived.

Every now and then Joel looked down at the crown of her head, grateful, always returning to the TV before the little fragments of thankfulness could become too much for him.

Despite the contentment, the cold remained a persistent thorn in his side.  Every time Ellie felt his chest expand abruptly against her she sat forward slightly, giving him room to half-twist away with a cough or sneeze muffled to the inside of his far arm.

He’d let the breath back out of his lungs, bleary, and face the TV with a few blinks to clear his eyes.  Ellie would retake her place, squirming to close the gaps between her back and his ribs.

“You OK?”

“I’m a’right, kiddo.”

“OK.”

Every time, deliberate, with a sincerity that tattooed her like ink, ever deeper and indelible, into his skin.

Every ache and pain and exerted muscle from the past few days was catching up with him now, his sinuses blocked miserably shut.  After a particularly strenuous coughing fit he turned back around to find Ellie’s eyes more focused and ferreting and worried.  He needed to work a little harder to put her back at ease.

“Here, look,” he croaked, redirecting her to the TV.  “See this guy?”

“Mr. Goofy Fucking Hawaiian Shirts?”

“Yeah.  He used to date Alanis Morisette.”

“No way!”

“Yeah.” He chuffed, head shaking.  “Wild, right?”

“She’s so angry!  I love her.”

“Yeah, well. She’s angry about a lot of stuff you hopefully won’t have to worry about for quite awhile.”

“I guess. She still wrote good songs.”

“That she did.”

“Hey, speaking of, what does it mean to go down on somebody?”

Joel paled, making a long, desperately uncomfortable noise in his throat.  Ellie let him suffer for a good five seconds before donkeying with laughter.

“Relax,” she cackled, ear-to-ear grinning.  “I’m fucking with you.”

He flattened a hand at his chest.  “Jesus. How is this helping me feel better?”

“Oh my God. That was amazing. I almost wish I’d saved that one until I could actually see your face.”

“You know you can go back to your own room any time, right?.”

“And miss this?  Hell no.”

Joel quieted, checking her again in the dimness, watching the play of light on her face, her lingering grin.  He smiled faintly to himself before his eyes relaxed back to the TV.

“Yeah, it’s pretty alright.”

“Yeah it is.”

He didn’t remember drifting off, but at some point his mind disconnected from the brightly-colored spectacle glowing in the dark before him, the rising and falling tide of canned laughter.  Eventually Ellie’s hand spread lightly open at his chest, jostling him just enough to stir him awake.  His head picked up, eyes cracked open to see her cast in luminous blue.  Her face, serious but calm.  She curled the backs of her fingers to his forehead.

“You’re still really warm.  How come we don’t have a thermometer?”

“Someone’s gotta have one.” He blinked groggily.  “We’ll ask tomorrow. I’m sure I’m running a temperature… suppose it doesn’t matter how much.”

She started to peel the blanket from him, and he stopped her.

“Joel,” Ellie chastened.  He stilled her hand with a touch.

“No, it’s alright.”

“You need to lie down.”

“I know, I will. I’m gonna sleep out here.  I wake up coughing if I try to lay too flat.”

She wasn’t entirely pleased with this answer, but it was enough of a concession that she was willing to negotiate.

“Okay, I’ll help.”

He technically didn’t need the assistance, but clearly it was important to her to be a part of his recovery.  She lifted and transferred his legs to the couch by the ankles, assembling exactly the right pillows behind him so he could recline without hurting his neck.  His eyes followed her, lips softly smirking, as she pulled the blankets back over him and tucked them in at the edges.  When there was nothing left for her to fuss at she stood back, hands jammed into her hoodie pockets.

“You want me to turn the TV off?”

Joel’s head lolled to observe the glowing blue square, a single white NO INPUT blinking in the top corner.

“No, leave it.  It’s comforting.”

She looked at the screen.  Looked at him.

“You’re super fucking weird.”

Joel’s hands lifted, rotated outward from the wrist, and dropped limply back to his chest.  Look, what can you do?

“Get some sleep,” he urged.

“OK.  But you’re not going to work tomorrow.  We have like… I don’t know, forty more seasons of this stupid show to go through. Somehow.  Hopefully that hideous baby gets cuter.”

“She really doesn’t.  You know there was actually two of them playing the same kid?”

“What?”  She broke into a helpless grin.  “That’s… awful.  Imagine giving birth to a horrible-looking gremlin baby, and you’re like, oh well, at least there’s just the one.  And then: OH NO.”

Joel erupted with sniggering laughter, hiding his face against the inside of his arm as it devolved into another coughing fit.

“Fuck me,” he crackled. “Get out of here, please. Go to bed.”

“OK.”  Ellie leaned in and bent over him, kissing his forehead.  “Feel better.”

“Working on it.”

She started to turn, but Joel caught her wrist.  Ellie looked back, expectant, but he just lay there a moment, holding her hand, his thumb caressing into the crease of her palm.

“Thank you.”

She softened, awkward, fingers curling around his thumb in a single, meaningful squeeze.

“Of course.”

“I love you, kiddo.”

“Love you too.”  She held onto his hand until both their arms were extended, then let him go with an impish smile. “I ate like six pickles.”

“Jesus Christ, girl.”

She receded into the dark, giggling, leaving him in the backwash of blue light.

“Good night.”

[zer0inbox]

SMALLTOWN DEMON SLAYER,

from a shuffled playlist                   inspired by the southern gothic, the preacher’s daughter, and demon slaying. lyrics slightly tweaked for clarification.

i’ll hold my breath for three more years.

god loves you, but not enough to save you.

good luck taking care of yourself.

that's how my daddy raised me.

if they strike once, then you just hit 'em twice as hard.

if i bend under the weight that they gave me, then this heart would break and fall as twice as far.

the more it hurts, the less it shows.

i still feel like they all know. that's why I could never go back home.

god, i've tried.

if it's meant to be then it will be.

i forgive it all as it comes back to me.

i can't let go when something's broken.

it's all I know and it's all I want now.

you lost your chance.

with good luck, i'll find the dark.

it’s my primary instinct to protect the child.

i had a dream that it would end like this.

what's gone is gone and you can't bring it back around.

you can't illuminate what time has anchored down.

your divination should acquaint you with the plan.

all i want is to save you.

the space between us is as boundless as the dark.

you can't intimidate me back into your arms.

no one can hear me.

i can see that you want me going downhill, too.

you ripped me open, then you kissed me.

i adore the bludgeoned affection.

i swear, i’m the shell of a man.

my mom, now she’s a saint.

i killed them both, and they're buried under a sycamore.

you think I'm psycho, don't you?

i'm having crazy dreams again.

i woke up in his room, standing right there by his bed with my hands around his throat, wishing both of us were dead.

we will wade in the shine of the ever.

no one is born to hate, we learn it somewhere along the way.

hardly a maverick, lesser than average.

your vulnerability is stronger than it seems.

you know it's okay to have a bad day.

just get this one thing done.

i went to the bar to get a little closer to myself and learn things i never really wanted to know.

i want to be where all the stupid shit i say sounds so romantic and true.

i'd rot in hell with you.

live with me in this sin forever.

we take things a little far, but you couldn't name a place I wouldn't go with you. 

home is the last place that i'd stand to be with anyone but you.

beware the bottled thoughts of angry young men.

secret compartments hide all of the skeletons.

you know damn well where you'll go.

i want to be someone else or i’ll explode.

you want me? fuckin’ well come and find me.

you soon find you have few choices.

when i was a child, i heard voices ; some would sing, some would scream.

all you have is your fire.

don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.

i knew that something would always rule me.

i’ll make you a believer.

put me to the test.

you know i’m a forgiver.

i still hear you cry.

circumstance will decide.

you’re a ghost on the highway, and i’ll love you forever.

i want to eat out your bitter heart.

you gotta show me where it hurts.

there's a beast and a burden kicking, spitting on your bathroom floor.

good things die all the time.

god bless your heart, vengeance is mine.

kiss me like you mean goodbye.

so if I fight the good fight, will hairlines recede? will lines deepen in face to craft a look of defeat?

my little saturday night became a sunday remorse.

at last, my good friend, we are even.

don't you leave me in the ground alone.

but you and I will never find that peace.

it's too bad that all these things can only happen in my dreams.

if you want to scream, scream with me.

[starter-library]

GOOD MORNING BEDLAM'S LULU LYRIC STARTERS

EDIT AS YOU SEE FIT

I Am Sad

“Dance it off and let them see only ever part of me”

“You're far too quick to let me in”

“I feel your fear it hurts my chest”

“I too am fighting loneliness”

“I'm sad to say that I am sad”

“I'm sad to say it, but I've done the best that I can. Just had to say,My best is sad”

“I've done it in forty four states”

“Steal your words and bite my tongue cus every story's now been sung”

Blue House

“When I woke the sun was new”

“Even ink that marked our height will be repainted out of sight”

“It all must go under the knife every dent from making life”

“The fall of Rome was bound to be. Not to endure eternally”

“Now it's time to leave what we know, chase the new and let love grow”

“It's more than bricks that make a home”

“She'll learn to love and all it's ache and how to mend after it breaks”

Hold Me

“Well I've been sitting around since a quarter to three”

“Ain't found a god for whom I'd fall to my knees, But I haven't had a half bad time”

“I won't win an award for what's inside of my brain, Just found out New Jersey was a U.S. state”

“I've got you on my arm as we walk in the rain, So I guess you'd say I'm in my prime”

“Baby tell me once more that you're mine”

“May be losing all my sanity to the hunger of humanity if you're losing it right next to me I swear I'll be just fine”

“My mouth will run itself right into first place so I guess that I'm doing ok”

“You love me still can't seem to change that a bit, wouldn't have it any other way”

“Once broke my nose just from falling down”

“My talking voice is as loud as my shout”

“I'm trying to keep it together as I'm falling apart”

“I find you to be a work of art, Need no one else to share my days”

“I am standing here just watching all the people going round. Seems no one else is doing better at figuring this out”

“We're all stumbling around and picking ourselves up but I went tripping into madness and falling into love”

Haint Blue

“I sing your praises to the waning moon”

“I'm haunted and so are you although we smothered all our ceilings in that bright haint blue”

“It's only in my dreams where he lets be, you see I'm waking up to find that the ghost is me”

“Time won't let us be”

“We're on borrowed time since you set me free”

“I'm haunted and so are you”

I’m haunted, can’t you see him too?”

The Haunting

“We keep repeating the same words in heightened speech, with cutting verbs”

“If i don’t hear, your words won’t hurt”

“Never put up any fight except when it’s in my own mind”

“Like a smothered storm my thoughts they go unknown: Patch the boat, mind the water, make it home”

“I’m so scared i’m the one that is to blame”

“But lies will rot the heart and thoughts and never shield me like I think”

“Someday we’ll learn to shut our mouths”

“Over and over and over it goes with the wine playing tricks and the room spinning slow”

“And I’m trying to focus and show you I notice your eyes perfectly match the dress that you’ve chosen”

“And if you’re saying that you love me--say it slow. And I’ll need you to show me”

Enough

“And I hear it And I see it And I breathe it. It echos, echos, Round it resounds without end”

“Sometimes I don't know if I am loved”

“Sometimes I don't know if I'm enough”

“Not even God could love someone like you”

“I've been trying to retrace my tracks, Hoping to find my way back; When the only running was tag, when you know being it won't last”

Blessed Boy

“I have no one to care for, no one to need and only when running am I ever free”

“I'll fly to the moon and I'll never return, There I can rest as I watch the world turn”

“Blessed boy I've heard your voice and I know they've done you wrong”

“In between your fitful dreams will you learn you do belong”

“It takes more than moonlight to cause you to bloom, come to the garden there's plenty of room”

You are Gonna Miss Me

“Always had this feeling that your hearts not really mine and that some perfect lover was always on your mind”

“You are gonna miss me you will miss my face someday”

“Oh my darling boy i was looking up to you- Well not physically except when you put lifts inside your shoes”

“Boy you did me wrong how could you let me fall- couldn't catch me with hands that were that small”

“You want to make all my decisions but i don't want the same”

“Honey this is my show here i always drink for free”

Salt

“But tide will rise and reclaim her command”

“Mother I'm scared your waters are much too high for me”

“Your changeable ways throw me for days as if lost on the sea”

“The water's calm but still I cannot rest while storms are ever raging in my chest”

“From her I was made with love and care but by her hand I'm scattered everywhere”

“Leaning back the water holds my weight now it will be my turn to create”

Lulu

“I see no way will I hold her like the cinema told me to try”

“When I look at you I see no chance of pushing through and I must be the one to say goodnight”

“Some wishes made are wises left behind”

“She kissed me so sweetly and she promised me nothing but sweetness to last”

[ghost-proofbaby]

Eyyyyyy babay. Color me not surprised that you have so many fans. Oooooobbbbbvs I want to do sunset orange. 🌞

Let’s see…I love food, family, my puppers, friends, shitty comedies, Eddie Munson, Joe, YOU….😉

I’m just so proud to be your friend when you’re so talented and shit. #BLESSED 🫶

ash. baby. love of my life, pain of my ass. i ADORE you. the moment you sent in your request i've been so excited to get to it and i'm apologizing for it taking so long. <3 also we have been over this ma'am: not fans, friends!!! y'all are my friends!!! who are so kind and support me and who i will give all the forehead kisses (with tongue thanks katie lol) to!!!

first of all, i ship you with me. forget about eddie and steve and robin etc. you're all mine baby <3 but if i was forced to share, i suppose i could share you with.... eddie munson. (we saw this one coming, didn't we?)

let's get into it, shall we? imagine below the cut is just me writing you a loveletter and not even talking about eddie haha jk... unless?

okay, so here's the thing. eddie munson is a lot of things. he is a menace, he is annoying, he is feral, and he has spent his entire life being reminded of those things. too much. he has always been too much. until you.

you'd take his too much with stride, and never make him feel as others had. you'd bake him incredible 'special' brownies, you'd make him delicious home cooked meals, you'd show him that show of the brothers you sent me who play dnd. you'd see his crazy, and you'd raise him your own times ten. he'd be absolutely whipped for you, completely devoted. he'd be the worst influence, always telling you to take a break if work got overwhelming, convincing you by any means necessary. you'd text him to pick you up some wine while he's at the store, and homie would dramatically respond "yes dear anything for you" as if he didn't already have your favorite in the cart. any time one of your puppers joins in the snuggle sessions with the two of you, he'd sigh dramatically, but secretly adore it and get offended once said pupper decided to leave. the best part of his day would be when he gets random memes sent to him from you, always smiling the moment his phone buzzes in his pocket because he just knows you sent him something hilarious. anytime you're on your period, he jumps at the opportunity for cuddles, willingly handing over his hands as personal heating pads and doting on you in anyway you may need. he knows your love language is simply death by affection, and as a touch-starved boy, he'd be more than happy to comply. endless kisses are a must, and if he somehow convinces you to play with his hair at the end of it all? well, that's just bonus points for him. and don't even get him started about how much he adores how short you are compared to him. aside from the merciless stream of jokes, and the way he always would put his snacks on the top shelves you couldn't reach, he'd also love the way it let him hold you so easily. when cuddling bed, when he hugs you from behind in the kitchen, when the two of you press together into one corner of the couch despite all the free space available when you decide to rewatch your favorite feel-good shows. he just loves everything about you. you're his favorite person, his favorite time of day, his favorite season of the year - you're his favorite, simply put. he's smitten, and he's not ashamed to admit it.

which is why your song with eddie has to be smitten by leanna firestone. that funky fun beat, that mundane love laced through every lyric. it's completely the two of you, and eddie is absolutely thanking his lucky stars that this time, he managed to do something right when it comes to you.

1k celebration - requests for this are now closed, but you can still send in general requests! just check out my rules first <3

[so-tired-of-dying]

and i wish you could hear what i say to myself about you,

when you’re not here.

how i wish you could hear me to tell myself to cool it in class,

when i catch myself smiling at the fact you even sent me a message,

before i’ve even seen what it says.

because at least it’s you.

because you told me the sweetest things i’ve ever been so blessed and grateful to hear.

my fruit was pineapple,

despite the bath and body works that would say otherwise.

“you remind me of strawberries”

my signature strawberry scent that i have dawned since i was 14. i’m 19 now.

i have more bottles of that perfume than one person needs,

and the hand sanitizer,

and the lotions and hand creams,

and the hand soap by my sink.

because it mixes well with vanilla,

the same vanilla in my favorite body wash. that same vanilla i could smell on my grandmother when we sat next to each other for our birthday.

because you have always come back,

because you kept your promise from that night.

that i could call if i needed help.

and that night you came back after the yelling that caused the tears to melt off my eyeliner.

because i have given so many reasons you should never come back for me but,

you’re still here.

and i tell you i love you every morning because i do.

and i can feel excitement bubble up inside me

so viscerally i think i’m a volcano that could go off at the slightest tremble of the earth.

when i say you give me butterflies

i mean it in the most beautiful way possible,

and they carry me away every single time.

and yet i have so much to say but i could never say it all to you.

because my words could never do these feelings justice.

i wish you could hear every single word of poetry written in my head about you.

describing the way your deep brown eyes pierce mine

when we actually make eye contact.

it always stops me in my tracks when you smile,

the way your dimples reach so deeply into your face.

i have a video i go back and watch,

so damn often,

just for the taste of your smile.

because it reminds me of just how sweetly you taste,

like honey so soft on my tongue.

like that first sip of water in the middle of the night that you can feel

rehydrating and

refreshing the entirety of your still

so tired body.

i wish you could hear the way

i wish

i could lace words as delicate as your touch.

i am treated like porcelain

because i am.

because you know how easy i am to break, because you’ve done it before.

and yet you still put those pieces back together and mended me with gold like you were a professional at the art kintsugi.

and you kissed my scars,

telling me that you were there

and that everything would be ok.

and if you could hear the melodies in my head when you speak,

your voice like a booming symphony to me,

no matter how soft your tone.

if i could write lyrics from the notes in my brain,

those songs would sell out stadiums.

deep and rich,

just like the soil we stand on.

and if i could, id take away all the pain

stored deep inside that i can hear crackling through your voice like a raging fire.

i wish you could hear what i say to myself about you when you’re not around,

all the silent thoughts left unsaid.

remembering the memories the no one can steal.

how privately i admire you, trying to bring you to life in a drawing.

trying to emulate the smile from that night,

and evoke the emotions behind it all.

serene, peaceful,

joyous.

i wish you could hear

just how much i wish i could go back,

to that night we met.

the night we walked under the stars,

smiling and laughing,

and just reliving it again.

i wish you could hear the things I say to myself when you’re not here.

because you’d hear how lovely you are,

and how dearly i cherish you.

because you’d hear me whispering to myself,

as i carefully move the rose you gave me in late October.

if you could hear the way i tell myself to calm down,

whenever i’m excited to see you.

i might just get

a sweet and joyous chuckle.

if you could see the way my insides warp and twist in anticipation.

the way i check my phone each night,

a million times before i fall asleep

just in case you need me.

the way

poetry about you

always seems so go on forever;

[spinningintheshadows]

Lyric Prompts Vol 6!

Please see this post for the rest of the prompt lists

“And I know how to get you crazy”

“Some killer Queen, making a scene”

“Got a couple nights that have slipped my mind”

“The dumbest guy I’ve dated”

“We’ll dig a deep hole”

“Where we’ve been is who we are”

“And I don’t want to wait until the sunshine fades”

“If our love died, would that be the worst thing?”

“Don’t tell me I’ll be fine”

“Don’t want to get too close to you”

“The last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind”

“I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown”

“I’m standing on a ledge ready to walk right off it”

“She oughta have a say so”

“Could’ve been a loser kid who ran away and hid”

“I didn’t think these memories I’m writing down could put my mind at ease”

“Call me a psycho but my way of coping is one more song about you”

“What doesn’t kill me makes me want you more”

“I should’ve listened to my head when it said leave it alone”

“Sending postcards home from all my life’s mistakes”

“Where do you go when the drugs run out?”

“Wouldn’t it be apropro for you to blame a Scorpio”

“When I’m with you, everything else can wait”

“They play my favorite song but somehow they play it wrong.”

“Got a history of stories ending sadly”

“I don’t wanna just be yours for the night”

“Wish I knew less about your history”

“Don’t wanna drive another mile wonderin’ if you’re breathin’”

“We’re smiling but we’re close to tears even after all these years.”

“I’m out of sight, out of mind”

“You forgave and I won’t forget”

“Tell me how to change your mind over coffee at midnight”

“Catch up from the things we haven’t heard yet”

“Am I the only one who isn’t dead inside?”

“I’ll leave it up to you to fuck this up again”

“I go out of my way to ruin my peace of mind”

“Rather crack my skull in two than be like you”

“You may want me, I ain’t ready to go”

“I’m so blessed to to be stressed”

“I’ll have you know I’m scared to death”

“Just teenage runaways with no home”

“I’ll take you dancing in the country”

“With the help of a mason jar of watermelon moonshine”

“I want a simple explanation for what I’m feeling inside”

“I think I never thought I’d be the one to let me down”

“Where were you when I was seventeen and fucking depressed?”

“Cause we’re only passing cars and caution signs as you slowly crash your heart into mine”

“Everything I touch becomes sick with sadness”

“So when you have today, you should say all that you have to say”

“As long as I’m laughing with you”

[ericleo108]

08/25/2023 Click here for Spotify, Apple Music, or Youtube. “Our Love” is my 55th official release. The song was self-recorded. The beat was made by Batu from Fiverr with a guitar sample from RJ Pasin.  The cover art is made by xoxodesigns from fiverr.

I talk about this blog post and other updates in the latest Sunday update here:

Lyrics:

You ever been in a relationship?

Where you break up with her

And then you get back with her

Then you break up with her

Then you get back with her

This is what it’s like

Hey babe, you don’t deserve to cry

I’ll love you all day, spend time at night

This the last time, baby, please

I just want you to love me

Hey babe, you don’t deserve to cry

I’ll love you all day, spend time at night

This the last time, baby, please

I’ll tell you what you do to me

Our love is something you gone need

We got this, I can’t even lie

Together we’re the strongest see

I love you and you’re my divine, 

Every day I wake up, I just wanna be right by your side

You’re the part of life I love and flaunt I just want you as mine

Damn you know I like it, baby

You in that dress, it drives me crazy

With your love, I feel so brazen

Pius cuz your grace amazin

Your love Is like a flower blooming

The way you change me in fruition

Bring the rays of solar rhythm

Photon photographic vision

Cuz I got that cake like Kodiak

By the ocean in a cab

That coup you always knew I had

Coulda been you but you were ahh

Like you were too good for my lap

But rode my balls and now she mad

Cuz she see I got that Bag

And she ain’t gonna get me back

And now I’m on to something new

A good girl that don’t make me choose

Between Mary Jane, or the deja vu

I still reminisce when I’m with you

I can feel your energy

The waves you make and rhythm see

When you say, stay with me

My face lights up like a Christmas tree

Our love is something you gone need

We got this, I can’t even lie

Together we’re the strongest see

I love you and you’re my divine, 

Every day I wake up, I just wanna be right by your side

You’re the part of life I love and flaunt I just want you as mine

Damn you know I like it, baby

You in that dress, it drives me crazy

With your love, I feel so brazen

Pius cuz your grace amazin

Your love Is like a flower blooming

The way you change me in fruition

Bring the rays of solar rhythm

Photon photographic vision

Today I went outside and saw

Your face was way up in the clouds

I think of you, and can’t see how

We decided not to work it out

You left me guessing, was taught a lesson

Didn’t realize that you were my blessing

My mind and heart were devastated

While I felt so denigrated

So come on along with me

And let’s rewrite the history

I’ll face the fear that you gone leave

If you stay and make me tea

So come on along with me

And let’s rewrite the history

I’ll face the fear that you gone leave

If you stay and make me tea

Our love is something you gone need

We got this, I can’t even lie

Together we’re the strongest see

I love you and you’re my divine, 

Every day I wake up, I just wanna be right by your side

You’re the part of life I love and flaunt I just want you as mine

Our love is something you gone need

We got this, I can’t even lie

Together we’re the strongest see

I love you and you’re my divine, 

Every day I wake up, I just wanna be right by your side

You’re the part of life I love and flaunt I just want you as mine

[crownlyrics]

James Blake – I’m So Blessed You’re Mine Lyrics

James Blake – I’m So Blessed You’re Mine Lyrics

I’m So Blessed You’re Mine Lyrics – James Blake Lover, is it alright the way it is? Lover, I’ve seen it all now, now I’ve seen this Never saw you cry, well Then I saw the smoke You never saw her laugh with me But away we go I’m so blessed you’re mine I’m so blessed you’re mine (Girl) I’m so blessed you’re mine I’m so blessed you’re mine I’m so blessed you’re mine I’m so blessed you’re mine…

[soulprompts]

"𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒" 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

so i started listening to music, and reading poems, and my vibes were very shippy for a while, and then my sims got married so obviously that didn’t help??? anyway, none of these are written by me, aside from the third one. i saw them on insta or i read them in lyrics or smth, they’re incredibly romantic, very eloquent and passionate and sincere, so i hope you shippy angels like them!! as always, please DO NOT ADD ANY MORE PROMPTS TO THIS LIST!!! i will make more!! i am a simp!! 

“ you are half my soul. “

“ i wish i could tell you what you are to me. “

“ you say you’re dangerous. that you destroy everything you touch. so destroy me. ruin me. tear me apart, and let me love you all the same. “

“ our “almost” will always haunt me. “

“ only love can hurt like this. “

“ i just want you to be happy. if that’s with me or with someone else or with nobody... i just want you to be happy. “

“ i love you. i feel as though we were never strangers, you and i, not even for a moment. “

“ if anyone else were to kiss me, all they would taste is your name. “

“ the stars will go out before i forget you. “

“ i will love you if i never see you again, and i will love you if i see you every day. “

“ if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more. “

“ there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you. “

“ i just realized i don’t care if they’re the most perfect person in the world. they’re not you. “

“ you know how i feel about you... you’ve always known. “

“ i forget every beauty in the universe, the moment you smile. “

“ i say it all the time, i just say it very very quietly. i tell you when you’re in another room, or right after we hang up the phone. i say it after you shut the door behind you. i say it in my head every time you look at me. i love you. of course i love you. i never stopped. “

“ i feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. maybe we’re from the same star. “

“ my only hope is that one day i can love myself as much as i love you. “

“ in the space, the pause, between this breath and the one that follows, you have made a home in me. “ 

“ i loved the way you touched me with your eyes and felt me with mine. “

“ you’ve always seen me. and i think that’s all that anyone wants. seeing someone. really seeing someone. that’s love. “

“ you kissed my cheek. and then i knew, that you could be homesick for people, too. “

“ all i’ve known are temporary people, the leaving and the hoping, the begging someone to stay... so forgive me if i break apart when you say the word “forever”. “

“ sometimes i wonder if love is worth fighting for. and then i look at you and i’m ready for war. “

“ my darling, you will never be unloved by me. you are too well entangled in my soul. “

“ i climb into my bathtub the same way i’ll keep loving you; until my skin is wrinkled. “

“ and if i could ever ask for one more blessing in this life of mine, i’d pray for a thousand years to see you one more time. “

“ when i am near you, i finally know how it feels to breathe without worry, without caution. i just feel safe with you... “

“ you kissed me goodbye, but you never left. i’ve been seeing you every time i close my eyes. “

“ what cloud did you fall from? because you taste like stardust and eternity. “

“ all i know is, when i think of you, i feel like singing. and i feel like i could run miles to find you. all i’m sure of is, i love you, entirely as you are. “

“ i will never regret us, because you taught me i could love and be loved without the fear of loss. “

“ i wanna spend the rest of my sunsets with you. “

“ let’s do something crazy. like grow old together. let’s show everyone how to do forever. “

“ and i’m not afraid to love you. only afraid my love won’t be enough. “

“ the universe has existed for billions of years, and by chance, we ended up living at the same time. that counts for something. “

“ the sky exploded into a thousand moonbeams dazzling with stars, and as you stared quietly above, i couldn’t help but stare at you, falling in love. “

“ there is a little bit of you in all the words i write. maybe you’re the language of love my heart speaks. “

“ you deserve someone who isn’t okay with losing you. “

“ they named a black hole after you, and i’d be lying if i said you weren’t pulling me in. “

“ i thought i knew what love was, until i felt your arms around me, and realized what it truly was. “

“ i wish you were here. or... or i was there, or something... i don’t know. i just wish i was with you. “

[dorotheataylor]

Perfect

Pairing- Harry Potter x Fem!reader

 Summary: The series of events of Y/N’s and Harry’s love story.

Warnings: Mentions of death, pure fluff

Word count: 2.9k (including song lyrics)

A/N: This is based on Ed Sheeran’s Perfect. So listen to that for a better experience. Also it’s my first time writing something like this so please lmk if you find any mistakes. And English isn’t my first language so their maybe grammar errors.

______________________________________________________________

I found a love for me

Darling just dive right in and follow my lead.

‘She’s so beautiful’ he thought. You were celebrating your 5 year anniversary with your boyfriend Harry, and your two best friends Ron and Hermione. And Harry couldn’t stop looking at and admiring you.

Today he was going to do the thing he has always dreamed of. He had asked your god parents for your hand three days prior and he was glad that they gave him their blessings.

“What are you looking at?” you asked as you noticed him staring.

“You are gorgeous.” He replied. Your cheeks slowly turned into a shade of pink.

Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet

Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me.

Harry’s mind drifted to the day he met you; The love of his life.

You were just sorted into Gryffindor and came to sit next to him. “Hi, I’m Y/N, Y/N L/N,” you greeted him lifting your hand to shake. “I am Harry, Harry Potter.” And you two instantly became very good friends.

“Oh stop it,” you said covering your face with one hand. “What? I am just saying the truth.” He replied grinning.

‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was,

“Harry it’s okay, I’m here,” you said pulling him in your chest while he sobbed as Dumbledore laid there dead. “It’s alright.”

“Please don’t leave me too, Y/N,” he begged in between his sobs. “I’m not going anywhere, Harry. I’m here and I’ll always be. I promise.” You promised as you rubbed his back to calm him down. That was the moment he truly and deeply fell in love with you.

He was smiling widely as he thought about this memory. He felt as if he was the luckiest person on this earth because he got to loved by you.

I will not give you up this time,

Darling just kiss me slow,

Your heart is all I own 

And in your eyes you’re holding mine.

“NO!” you screamed as you tried to reach where Hagrid held Harry’s body when Voldemort announced him dead but George Weasley held you tight. You couldn’t lose him. You couldn’t lose the boy you truly loved. You couldn’t lose him without telling him how you felt.

But then everything happened so fast and now you were watching Voldemort fading away in the air.

“Harry!” you yelled as you ran towards him and threw your arms around his neck. He wrapped his hand around your waist and pulled you close and hugged you tightly. 

“Oh Harry, I thought you- you-” you couldn’t say it. He placed his one hand on cheek and said, “I’m here Y/N, and I’m not going anywhere.”

‘It’s now or never’ you thought before taking a deep breathe and started, “I’m in love with you, Harry Potter.”

“Y-you are?”

“Yes, I’ve loved you ever since you comforted me when my parents were killed back in sixth year. And I promise to love you forever if you let me. I promise to be with you forever if you let me. I promise-”

But you were cut off in between when Harry pressed his lips on yours. You were shocked at first but then kissed back. It was a gentle and sweet kiss filled with love, passion, admiration, happiness and so many other emotions you both felt.

“I love you too, Y/N, so much. Ever since you comforted me when Dumbledore died.” 

You pulled him into another kiss. This time it was more passionate than before. Filled with more love and happiness than before. He moved his one hand and rested it on your cheek which gave you butterflies. You placed your one hand in his hair and the other on his chest.

And soon there was cheers coming from everywhere, but you didn’t care.

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark,

With you between my arms,

Barefoot on the grass,

Listening to our favorite songs,

Your mind drifted to the tent dance back when you were on Horcrux hunt.

“May I have this dance?” he asked when he heard your favorite song play on the radio and gave his hand to you when he approached where you were sitting. 

Ron had left and Hermione was in the other room sleeping so it was just you and him.

“You may,” you replied smiling slightly taking his hand.

And the two of you danced as if nothing else mattered in the world. There was an ongoing war, but you didn’t care. There were Horcruxes you came to find, but you didn’t care. Voldemort had risen to power, but you didn’t care.

All mattered in that moment was just two of you, dancing slow at the song that played on the radio, and staring into each other’s eyes with pure love, admiration and other mixed emotions.

When you said you looked a mess,

I whispered underneath my breath

“I look a real mess, don’t I?” you asked but Harry shook his head.

But you heard it,

Darling you look perfect tonight.

“Oh darling, you look perfect tonight,” he said kissing your forehead and your cheeks turned pink and your heart fluttered. Even after all these years he’s still able to make you blush and give you butterflies.

Well I found a woman,

Stronger than anyone I know, 

“Stupefy!” you shot a death eater who was going to attack Harry from behind. Harry looked at you with a grateful face and you nodded back.

Then you ran off from there to help Hermione who was also shooting spells on other death eaters.

She shares my dreams I hope that someday

I’ll share her home.

“One day-,” you started while you both were cuddling in your bed, “We’ll buy a house and live there forever.”

“We will, love,” he said smiling. He leaned down and kissed you softly but sweetly. He was glad you thought same about the future.

I found a love, 

To carry more than just my secrets,

To carry love, to carry children of our own. 

He wanted you to carry his heart and love. He wanted to be with you forever. He wanted you to carry both of your children. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

We’re still kids but we’re so in love,

Fighting against all odds,

I know we’ll be alright this time.

“Who does she think she is?!” you snapped when you read an article about you and Harry written by Rita Skeeter. 

‘Y/N L/N is just with Harry Potter because he’s The Boy who Lived. She’s just using him for fame. We know this is sad but it’s true.’ The article said.

“I’ll kill her!” you said as you grabbed your wand but Harry grabbed your arms to stop you.

“Calm down love. We both know it’s not true.” He said kissing your temple.

“But people will get the wrong idea about us,” you said. 

“Let them, we’ll be alright. I promise.” He replied.

Darling just hold my hands,

Be my girl I’ll be your man,

I see my future in your eyes.

“Take my hand,” you said as you and Harry were walking on a street in the night of silent winter. He smiled at you before taking your hand in his.

You rested your head on his shoulder as you walked and you couldn’t help but stare at him. His clenched masculine jawline, his beautiful emerald eyes shining in the moonlight behind his round glasses, his soft and pink lips.

You loved everything about him. He caught you staring and chuckled while your cheeks turned pink.

“What are you looking at?” he asked grinning. 

“Have I ever told you that you have pretty eyes?” you said.

“You have,” he replied smiling and staring right into your glistening E/C eyes. You could look into his eyes forever. You could see a perfect future with him in them. 

You leaned up and pressed your lips on his, softly but passionately. He kissed you back with a smile and with the same passion, love and admiration as you.

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark,

With you between my arms,

Barefoot on the grass,

Listening to our favorite song,

“May I have this dance?” you asked giving him your hand as Ron played both of your favorite song.

“You may,” he said taking your hand and he placed his one hand on your waist while he interlocked your fingers with his other. You placed your free hand on his shoulder and started dancing slow on it. 

Ron and Hermione too started dancing and smiled whenever they glanced at you both.

“You’re still a terrible dancer,” you said giving out a small laugh as Harry stepped on your foot for the fifth time.

“Sorry, I never really danced after our tent incident,” he replied. 

When I saw you in that dress,

Looking so beautiful

I don’t deserve this darling

You look perfect tonight.

He was still in awe when you showed up in your gorgeous red dress today. You looked even more beautiful.

‘How did I get so lucky?’ he thought still dancing with you. Your head was resting on his chest. He watched you as you sighed dreamily clearly thinking about something. 

You both switched partners so now you were dancing with Ron and him with Hermione.

You frowned a bit when you saw tears in Ron eyes. “What’s wrong?” you asked him concerned. Ever since you met Ron and Hermione they had became like a brother and a sister you never had. 

“Nothing, I’m just very happy today,” he replied smiling widely. 

“Oh, what’s the occasion? Is ‘Mione pregnant?” you teased as he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be stupid, if she was you’d be the first to know. Even before me.” You laughed at this as you both continued to talk and tease each other like siblings.

On the other side, Harry was getting panic attacks while Hermione was trying to calm him. “What if she says no, ‘Mione? What will I do then?” he asked worried.

“Don’t be stupid. Of course she’ll say yes. She’s head over heels in love with you,” she reassured, “and if she doesn’t, I’ll make sure that she’s sent to Azkaban for not saying it.”

Harry laughed at this but his insecurities were still there. What if you didn’t loved him enough to spend your life with him? What if he messed up? What if you broke things off? What if-

“Harry!” he snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Hermione’s voice.

“Yeah?”

“Are you ready?” 

He took a deep breath before nodding making her smile. She nodded as she stepped away.

He looked at Ron and mouthed ‘I am ready’ and Ron nodded smiling in response. 

He started moving you towards Harry and pushed you lightly to make you turn around and when you did-

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark,

With you between my arms.

Barefoot on the grass

Listening to our favorite song

You couldn’t stop your tears flowing at the sight. You found him bent down on one knee, with a ring his hand and happy tears in his eyes as well.

He started, “Y/N, when I was young, I never knew what was love because of the Durlseys. But when I met you, everything changed. I found the brightness in my dark life. I found the reason for my smile, the day I found you. I love you so so much, Y/N. 

With you, my life becomes whole, with you my days become bright. In your hands I would love to lay, this night and for the rest of my life. You’re the only thing I’ll see forever. In my eyes, in my words, and in everything I do, your sight is the only sight that will ever bring me peace.

I have faith in what I see,

Now I know I have met an angel

In person, and she looks

Perfect

I want to grow old with you. I want to raise our children with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be with you forever and ever. So Y/N L/N, will you marry me?” he finished tears now uncontrollably falling from both of your eyes.

You were overwhelmed with your emotions and no words came into your throat. So instead you pulled him up and kissed him hard putting all unspoken words, feelings in just one kiss. He kissed you back with same emotions as yours.

“Yes! A million times yes!” you said as you both pulled away and he slipped the ring on your ring finger.

Ron and Hermione, who were watching from a distance couldn’t help up but cry and cheer. They couldn’t tell the happiness they were feeling in words.

I don’t deserve this

You look perfect tonight

You and Harry had your foreheads touch as you stared and smiled at each other.

“I love you so much, Harry Potter.”

“I love you too, soon-to-be Mrs Potter.”

Your lips collided once again. And this was the beginning of a new chapter in your both’s lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N- I know it sucked but thanks for still reading it.

[thishintoflove]

“I Think He Knows” - A Kingsman Fanfic

TSwift Songfic Week Day 5

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x M!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Explicit (Pining, dirty talk, hand jobs, oral sex)

A/N: I feel like there’s a lack of M/M in the Pedro cinematic universe fandom, so here’s some bisexual Whiskey having a good time with a fellow male agent.

Summary: You and Agent Whiskey are paired together for an out-of-state mission. On your last night, your pining and his flirting finally come to a head.

I think he knows his hands around

A cold glass

Make me wanna know that body

Like it's mine

The mission was long but you were finally finished with it. Three weeks in Dallas were more than enough for you, and you were looking forward to getting home to your own bed and your own office in Kentucky. You were aching for the privacy it offered, after spending almost a month sharing a hotel room with your fellow agent. This time you’d been paired up with Agent Whiskey, and because of that you were glad the trip was almost over.

It’s not because Agent Whiskey- Jack - was incapable. Quite the opposite. He was extremely efficient and good at his job but he was also… extremely attractive. Which was a huge distraction.

You took pride in being a capable agent but Jack and his pretty face compromised that. You’ve never been in a situation like this before. Lusting over your coworker felt extremely unprofessional, but it was impossible to ignore him. He was an in-your-face kind of guy, always butting in with a comment or joke, always using his body as a weapon. He’d lounge around your shared hotel room in nothing but a thin towel, his wet hair draped across his forehead, and you swear he did it on purpose. The man knew how attractive he was and he obviously loved flaunting it.

He was tall and tan, with soft brown hair, a pair of beautiful round eyes that seemed to sparkle with amusement, and a smile that made your knees weak. The downside was that his smile made just about everyone weak. You were living in your own personal hell. Every single day having to watch Jack be attractive without even trying, and then watch as everyone in his vicinity tried to flirt with him. Tonight he was wearing a black leather jacket and extremely tight jeans, looking more like a movie star than an undercover agent. The man could pull off anything. It’s actually unfair.

You were out at some dive bar, celebrating the end to a successful mission before flying home tomorrow. It was Jack’s idea of course, but you’d agreed because you needed a stiff drink after these three long weeks and honestly you couldn’t say no to him.

“Another round, kid?”

You glanced up and saw him staring at you, a twinkle in his bright eyes. His hand gripped his empty whiskey glass and you eyed your own half-full drink. You couldn’t throw it back like him.

“I’m good for now,” you answered.

He nodded and slapped you on the shoulder as he stood up, “I’ll get you another one anyway. You better finish that by the time I get back.”

You sighed as you watched him walk away. His ass looked fantastic in those jeans. All the training and harsh exercise routines that Champ put the team through really worked for him. No wonder he could get any pretty thing he wanted.

Speaking of which, he seemed to have turned his affections on someone else. You groaned, your eyes never wavering from where Jack stood. He was currently making small talk with the pretty brunette bartender. He was giving her the full Whiskey treatment- gazing at her with those soft, mocha-colored puppy dog eyes and giving her a charming half-grin. Watching him flirt was simultaneously entertaining and torturous. He threw his head back, laughing at some dumb joke the bartender must have said, and you almost growled out loud as you hungrily stared at his neck.

Stupid horny bastard.

He got that boyish look that I like in a man

I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans

It's like I'm seventeen, nobody understands

No one understands

You were getting really sick of hiding your partial hard-ons and jacking off in the cold shower, but everything the man did was hot. The deep voice and accent alone were enough to get you going on most days. God, you hadn’t felt like this since high school.

If Jack noticed you staring or caught on to the fact that you took extra long showers, he didn’t say anything. You were openly out at the agency and your sexuality wasn’t a secret. When you first joined the Statesmen, you felt you had something to prove at work, as if you had to demonstrate your masculinity by keeping up with the largest members of the team. But you’ve excelled in your role for years now and you were beyond proving yourself at this point. You were just glad that Agent Whiskey wasn’t one of the people who cared that you liked men.

In fact, he treated you just like he treated everyone-- this meant he wasn’t shy about flirting and teasing you. Sometimes it seemed like he was coming onto you, but you had to remind yourself that he was like that with everyone-- you weren’t special and there was no way he was actually interested.

Before falling asleep each night, you’d listen to Jack’s soft snores and run scenarios through your head of every possible way that you could share your feelings. You thought about all of the things you could say, and all of the ways Jack could react. It was agonizing but your analytical mind couldn’t stop. You wished you had the courage to just ask him out. The worst that could happen is he’d say ‘no’ and maybe request to never work with you again, but then at least you’d be free of him.

Wanna see what's under that attitude

Like, I want you, bless my soul

And I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

A loud laugh suddenly interrupted your thoughts and you looked over to the bar again. The bartender was giggling and grasping at Jack’s arm. The sight made your stomach turn, and you made a quick decision to get out of there before you had to watch them start making out over the bar.

You stepped up next to Jack and finally drew his attention away from the girl.

“Hey, hold off on my drink. I’m gonna head out,” you told him.

“What? Come on now, it’s so early!”

“Yeah. I just don’t really feel like hanging out anymore. I’ll see you back there.”

Before Jack could respond, you threw down some cash on the bar and turned away. You were already across the floor and on your way out the door when a hand on your arm stopped you.

“Hey. Are you pissed at me or something?”

“No,” you muttered, trying to ignore the shot of arousal you felt when he grabbed you, “I just don’t feel like sitting in the corner, watching you flirt with some chick.”

You tried to turn away from him, but Jack let out a quiet “ohhh” of understanding. His grip on your arm tightened.

“We’ve been on this mission for weeks now, and on our last night you finally decide to say something?” Jack laughed, turning you around so you were facing him again. He invaded your personal space, ducking his head and trailing his nose along your neck and jaw.

“What?” you asked, confused because he couldn’t possibly mean...

“You're so slow, that’s what,” Jack mumbled, his lips tracing along your neck. It felt amazing, but... was Jack- your fellow agent and known womanizer- really nuzzling your neck right now?

“I'm confused, are you really into this?” you asked again, trying to hold back a moan. Jack pulled away and looked at you with huge eyes.

“God, you’re an idiot. I've been sending you obvious signs, makin’ eyes at you and showing off what I got, and now I'm literally biting your neck, and you're still asking?” Jack said incredulously. You searched his face and saw eyes that were filled with desperation and lust.

“I just assumed…”

“I like it both ways, kid. Is that clear enough for you?”

He then took one step forward and kissed you fully on the lips. There was only a moment of shock before you melted into the kiss, pressing your bodies closer and running your hands over Jack’s shoulders and back. All of your worries disappeared then. You didn't feel the terrible anxiety that constantly filled you with dread. Your mind stopped frantically thinking about every possible worst case scenario. Everything stopped. There was only Jack.

“Oh ohhhh right. Yeah I’m an idiot,” you quietly mumbled against his lips, “Want to go back to the hotel?”

“Fuckin’ finally,” he replied with a grin.

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

So where we gonna go?

I whisper in the dark

You weren’t sure how you made it back to the hotel so quickly, but as soon as you tumbled through the door, Jack had you pinned to the bed underneath him. His hands roamed all over your torso, and he pulled the shirt over your head and tossed it aside before quickly doing the same to his own. The room was filled with your little whimpers every time Jack ground his hips against yours. You stared up at him, his lips swollen and red bitten and eyes blown with lust, and you were positive that you looked just as debauched. He looked just as beautiful hovering over you as you’d always imagined, and you wanted to feel him everywhere.

“More,” you whined, canting your hips up into Jack’s.

He groaned and trailed his hands down your chest, his fingers brushing against your nipples, causing a moan to slip from your mouth. He continued his journey down until he reached the fly of your jeans.

“Lift up,” Jack mumbled, leaning in to kiss your neck as he tried to tug your pants down. You obeyed and soon your pants and your boxers were off, leaving you completely exposed.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he moaned, his fingers barely brushing over your erection, “You’re even prettier than I thought, darlin’.”

You groaned, pushing your body closer to Jack’s. As his hand slowly learned the feel of your cock, your own hands wandered all over his body. From his strong shoulders to his muscular back, to his waist, his hips, his thick thighs. You slipped one hand into his jeans to grab his ass, finally getting the chance to touch the part of Jack’s body you’d fantasized about the most. You could feel his clothed erection rubbing against your thigh as Jack continued steadily stroking your cock.

“Jack,” you whimpered, gazing into his dark, lust-filled eyes. You were barely able to control your thoughts properly since Jack’s pace was getting quicker and way too distracting. He grinned down at you.

“This good, baby? You want it a little rougher?” he asked, a groan slipping from his lips as you squeezed his ass in response.

Jack pushed forward and kissed you harder this time, moving his hand faster along your cock. Then he kissed his way down your neck, sucking and nipping all your sensitive spots. Suddenly he bit down hard on the skin between your neck and shoulder, following it up with a long lick with his wide tongue. That show of possessiveness was enough to push you right to the edge. You cried out as pleasure tore through you, coming in ropes all over Jack’s large hand. You gasped for breath, your chest rising and falling as your head lolled against the pillows.

Jack hovered over you, continuing to kiss your neck and upper chest as you came down from your high. “I’ve been told I’m good with my hands, can I get a confirmation on that, darlin'?“ he asked with a cocky grin.

Your eyes blinked open and you smirked at him. “You’ve got the confirmation all over your hand.”

“Ooooh, so he’s mouthy all of a sudden. Guess I just had to get you in bed to see the sassy side of you, huh?” Jack tutted.

“I’ll show you mouthy,” you muttered, blushing at the stupid euphemism even as you trailed a line of kisses down Jack’s sternum and belly.

When you reached the top of his jeans, you surprised your fellow agent by flipping him over and yanking his pants down in one fluid motion. Jack growled at the switch, but when you took his cock into your mouth, he gasped and surged forward. You enjoyed the desperate moan he made as you swallowed him completely, his hips bucking into your mouth. But you wanted to take your time with this. You grasped his hip bone with one hand and held him down, before pulling off his cock and moving to lightly lick his balls. Jack was making beautiful, desperate noises and you loved the idea that this strong, confident agent was falling apart because of you. You smiled against him and swiped your tongue along the bottom of his shaft before taking him fully into your mouth again.

“Holy hell, you’re fuckin’ amazing,“ Jack groaned as you bobbed up and down on his cock, “I’m so close-”

You sucked harder and reached your other hand down to fondle his balls again as Jack thrust into your mouth. Soon he was arching forward and shouting your name. You let him come in your mouth, swallowing his seed down like it was another shot at the bar.

When you looked up at Jack from between his legs, you grinned. He had his head tilted back, one hand thrown across his mouth as he stared at the ceiling, breathing heavily. When he felt your eyes on him, he looked down at you with a satisfied smile.

“Damn, that was…”

“Amazing,” you cut him off, “Even better than I imagined.”

“So you imagined it, huh?”

Unable to control the urge any longer, you leaned forward and pulled Jack into a sweet, affectionate kiss. You ran your fingers through his soft hair and you could feel him grinning the whole time. When you finally pulled back, he was still smiling but he also looked a bit confused.

“Why haven’t we done this sooner?” he asked.

“I was convinced you were straight. I’ve been a fucking mess trying to decide if I should say something or not,” you replied.

Jack hummed and reached for you, but you chuckled and pulled away.

“You need a shower,” you said, “Then we can talk some more.”

“Only if you join me, sugar...”

I want you, bless my soul

I ain't gotta tell him

I think he knows

[joanwatsonunofficial]

“Don’t Blame Me” by Taylor Swift, Kanej’s version

So I’m a major Swiftie and ever since I read soc and ck, I can’t help but think of Inej and Kaz when I hear this song. So here’s a lyric breakdown that nobody asked for of most of the two verses and part of the bridge because I have issues. Sorry it’s kinda long eheh

Kaz pov:

“Something happened for the first time in the darkest little paradise. Shaking, pacing, I just need you” in the prison cart on their way into the Ice Court when her voice brought him back from the depths

“For you I would cross the line” RIP Oomen’s eyeball

“For you I would waste my time” “there will be a net”, risking a job for her safety

“For you I would lose my mind” threatening Wylan and just being generally more unhinged when Inej was kidnapped

“Trip of my life every time, yeah every time you’re touching me” his touch aversion, his entire mind flipping out while changing her bandages in the blessed bathroom scene

Inej pov:

“My name is whatever you decide” accepting Kaz christening her “The Wraith”

“I’m just gonna call you mine” insisting on thinking of Kaz as human, just a boy, even a miracle, instead of the monster he said he was

“Halo hiding my obsession” her naturally pious nature giving way to her desire to kill the people that were beating Kaz on the floor of the Crow Club

“And baby, for you, I would fall from grace” her killing for him

“Just to touch your face” ROOF OF THE ICE COURT

Bonus:

“If you walk away, I’d beg you on my knees to stay.”

I like it when men beg.

Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.

Oh lord save me these two are going to destroy me.

[beachesgetpeaches]

Stancy x Swift Time

Or, yknow, I will extract my Stancy Swift songs and let you know which lyrics just hit me in my poor Stancy heart. BUT I am limiting myself to like one lyrics. Idk. Okay and please send me other songs you like and lyrics because I totally will use this as inspiration for fics :D

State of Grace

These are the hands of fate You're my Achilles heel This is the golden age of something good and right and real

Treacherous

Two headlights shine through the sleepless night and I will Get you a, get you alone Your name has echoed through my mind and I just Think you should, think you should know That nothing safe is worth the drive and I would Follow you, follow you home

The Very First Night

Danced in the kitchen, chased me down through the hallway No one knows about the words that we whispered No one knows how much I miss you

Untouchable

Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun And when you're close, I feel like coming undone

willow

You know that my train could take you home Anywhere else is hollow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man

champagne problems

Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems

coney island

I'm on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold Over and over

the 1

I persist and resist the temptation to ask you If one thing had been different Would everything be different today?

mirrorball

I know they said the end is near But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes Spinning in my highest heels, love Shining just for you

this is me trying

They told me all of my cages were mental So I got wasted like all my potential And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that

peace

I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm If your cascade ocean wave blues come All these people think love's for show But I would die for you in secret The devil's in the details But you got a friend in me Would it be enough If I could never give you peace?

Death by a Thousand Cuts

I look through the windows of this love Even though we boarded them up Chandelier's still flickering here 'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not It's death by a thousand cuts

Cornelia Street

Windows flung right open, autumn air Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours We bless the rains on Cornelia Street Memorize the creaks in the floor

Lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you

Delicate

Sometimes when I look into your eyes I pretend you're mine, all the damn time 'Cause I like you Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate

Dancing With Our Hands Tied

I'd kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down I'd hold you as the water rushes in If I could dance with you again

Dress

All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation My hands are shaking from holding back from you ... Say my name and everything just stops I don't want you like a best friend

Style

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down We come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style We never go out of style

Out of the Woods

Remember when we couldn't take the heat I walked out and said, "I'm settin' you free," But the monsters turned out to be just trees When the sun came up, you were lookin' at me

This Love

This love is good, this love is bad This love is alive back from the dead, These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me

Back to December

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't So if the chain is on your door I understand But this is me swallowing my pride Standing in front of you, saying, "I'm sorry for that night." And I go back to December

Sparks Fly

I'll run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild Just keep on keeping your eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right And lead me up the staircase Won't you whisper soft and slow? I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show

I’m done. That’s it.

[stuhde]

sunday: i meant to post this playlist weeks ago, so you could all have some soft indie study tunes to listen to while you’re studying for exams/midterms. as much as i love instrumental study music, sometimes you just want lyrics to listen to while studying. here’s a playlist to guide you through your work day before the next week begins 💫

(listen here)

patience - the lumineers // obvious bicycle - vampire weekend // all i want - kodaline // somebody else - the 1975 // meet me in the hallway - harry styles // from eden - hozier // angela - the lumineers // is there somebody who can watch you - the 1975 // all we ever knew - the head and the heart // featherstone - the paper kites // dirty paws - of monsters and men // like real people do - hozier  // miracle aligners - the shadow puppets // hannah hunt - vampire weekend // hey k - passion pit // the cave - mumford and sons // suck it and see - arctic monkeys // reign down - bombay bicycle club // rivers and road - the head and the heart // ophelia - the lumineers // cherry wine (live) - hozier // from the dining table - harry styles

cleopatra - the lumineers // medicine - the 1975 // i think ur a contra - vampire weekend // monsoon - hippo campus // devil like me - rainbow kitten surprise // another story - the head and the heart // paint - the paper kits // sleep on the floor - the lumineers // please be naked - the 1975 // bloom (bonus track) - the paper kites // no guarantees (stinson beach ed.) - the head and the heart // goodnight chicago - rainbow kitten surpise  // someone new - hozier // down in the valley - the head and the heart // to build a home - the cinematic orchestra // down in the valley - the head and the heart // polite company - rainbow kitten surprise // rhythm and blues - the head and the heart // stuck on puzzle - alex turner // work song - hozier // fallingforyou - the 1975 // this must be the place (naïve melody) - the lumineers // winter song - the head and the heart // woodland - the paper kites // baby i’m yours - arctic monrkeys // chateau - angus & julia stone // sedona - houndmouth // fire and fear - the head and the heart // tell me how - paramore // for sondra (it means the world to me) - passion pit // sincerity is scary - the 1975 // days on a wire - case // signs of light - the head and the heart // inside your mind - they 1975  // cowards - raleigh ritchie // wake me - bleachers // run - hozier // all well that ends well - rainbow kitten surprise // mine - the 1975 // on the way home - the paper kites // the ultracheese - arctic monkeys // mountain sound - of monsters and men // surrounded by heads and bodies - the 1975 // don’t forget me - the head and the heart // hey, ma - bon iver // arms - the paper kites // two weeks - grizzly bear // the only thing - sufjfan stevens // south - hippo campus // amsterdam - gregory alan isakov // backstroke - dizzy // loving is easy - rex orange county // rainbow - kacey musgraves // jesus christ 2005 god bless america  - the 1975 // i <3 u - boy pablo // frail state of mind - they 1975  // RABi - bon iver // disappear - beabadoobee // say my name (spotify cover) - hozier // cig - baby fuzZ // be my mistake - the 1975 // crush - day wave // fine line - harry styles // i couldn’t be more in love - the 1975 // corduroy dreams - rex orange county // naeem - bon iver // don’t worry - the 1975 // nowadays - boy pablo // bloodlines - cape francis // halloween - pheobe bridgers // eugene - arlo parks // over the moon - the marías

[moonlightlullaby]

no celebrations?

summary: Corpse and reader celebrate his birthday in the most chill way. Based on this lovely request (ty again for sending it!) 

pairing: corpse husband x gn! reader

category: fluff

warnings: food ingestion; alcohol ingestion; loads of physical touch (let me know if I forgot to mention anything)

A/N: Hello (: This is such a lovely concept, I just couldn’t wait to get started hehe Also, I got a bit carried away and just went with it, so I’m really sorry if that’s not what you’d pictured. I do hope you enjoy it tho <3 Take care!

word count: 2.4k

Masterlist

Walking into our shared bedroom, I catch the sight of Corpse exiting the bathroom. As our eyes lock, my lips curl up tiredly and a long sigh I didn’t even know I’ve been holding finally frees itself. He sits on the edge of our bed and extends his hand to me. When I take it, he pulls me so I stand in the space between his legs.

“How was the day?” he asks with both of his hands on my waist. 

I hum, quirking a brow and tilting my head a bit “At least tomorrow - you know, the most unspecial, completely ordinary day of the year -” this earns a giggle from my boyfriend “is Sunday and I can just ignore all of that” I wave my hand in the direction of the adjacent room, where my laptop - filled with texts, assignments, spreadsheets and appointed Zoom calls - is. 

At my words, Corpse wraps his arms around my figure, pulls my body even closer to him and plants a kiss on my stomach through my shirt. My hands, in turn, caress his upper back and soft hair. 

Coming in contact with the string of his eyepatch in the process, I lean back slightly, which causes him to shoot up at me with a small frown and pouty lips. He sits still, though, as I carefully remove his eyepatch, and, while his eyes are still closed, I give each of his lids a peck. He smiles and tilts his head up to meet my lips in a long, tender and effortless kiss. Oh finally.

The idea of quarantining together was welcomed as a blessing by both of us. It meant more time spent together after all. However, with my school and work demands and Corpse’s irregular schedule, we still barely see each other throughout the day in spite of being a few feet apart from one another. And when bedtime rolls in, we’re both so exhausted all we can do is mumble words that could be counted in the fingers of one hand before drifting off. This, of course, when my boyfriend doesn’t stay up until dawn working. Don’t get me wrong, I’m his number 1 fan and admire his passion and all the hard work he puts in everything he sets his mind to, but I’m also not going to lie and say I don’t miss his warmth at night. Hence I want to devote this Sunday to him.

After a while, I break the silence “I’ll be right back.”

I let go of his hold and take my turn to use the bathroom. After doing my night routine, brushing my teeth and getting into my cozy pajamas, I walk back in the dark room and lie down, settling myself back in Corpse’s hug like two puzzle pieces matching together.

~~~~~

The excitement for a new day - not any day, no, but August 8th - washes over me as soon as I open my eyes and get a glimpse of the sleepy boy next to me. 

A couple of minutes go by as I contemplate on getting up, torn between prolonging our cuddling for some more and doing something to show Corpse my appreciation for him. The latter wins and I, cautious not to wake him up, slowly unwrap my arms from him and step out of the bed. Drawing the curtains to make sure the summer daylight doesn’t disturb his peaceful state of mind, I make my way out of the room and to the kitchen. 

Wondering what to make for breakfast, I take a good look around until my eyes catch the plethora of fruits we’ve bought a few days ago. Fruit salad it is. 

Corpse has, for as long as we’ve known each other, made it very clear he isn’t too fond of his anniversary and similar celebrations - and, even if he hadn’t explained it to me, it’s rather evident how uncomfortable they make him. This year, his friends’ and especially his fans’ hype for the date - although unintentionally - has added an extra layer of unease to it all, to which I don’t intend to contribute.

Even though I don’t want to make matters worse and would never overstep his boundaries like this (because, thankfully, I’m not Betty Cooper and he isn’t Jughead Jones), I still want to celebrate Corpse. I want to celebrate his birth and his existence, which I’m immensely grateful for. He’s both the best friend I can confide in blindly and the lover I want to share my lifetime with. He sticks to his truth and dreams higher than I could ever imagine. He turns the darkness in the world and in his mind into light with his words and with his laugh. Having him in my life is one of the best things to ever happen to me and seeing him fly makes me more proud than I can put into words. 

There’s a lot to toast to, so the solution is a celebration that is so smooth and so chill - the smoothest and most chill possible - that it doesn’t even feel like one. Just log off and enjoy a laid back day together.

As I chop a kiwi and make a mental list of fun and uncomplicated things we can do that don’t require much time and many skills, in walks Corpse, in an old white tee which is one too many sizes bigger than him and in his black sweatpants. He rubs his eyes and lets a raspy “good morning”.

“Mornin- wow! They really weren’t lying when they said when you hit 24, hotness knocks at your door”

He chuckles and shakes his head “No one’s said that”

“Well, then consider yourself the muse of a new proverb, baby”

He scrunches up his nose in response before grabbing the cup of orange juice I’d placed on the counter and taking a gulp. 

“Thank you” he turns my face and gives me an orange-flavoured kiss, neither of us having ever really cared about morning breath. 

“For calling you hot? Oh save it to when I’m done with the list of cheesy compliments I have for you” I take a grape and before I can get it in my mouth, he steals it, with wrinkles on the corner of his eyes.

“Then we’d be here for eternity!” he’s not wrong.

Corpse helps me put the fresh fruits in bowls and, with them and our juice cup in hand, we head to the balcony. Sitting next to each other, we calmly eat, take in the light blue sky and the cars and passersby changing the scenery ahead of us. Conversation flows naturally.

As we empty our bowls - after stealing many bits from each other -, I twist in my seat and face him “Hey, Corpse, do you see this?” I point to the very prominent and familiar dark circles under my eyes. “Wanna help me get rid of them?” I ask, knowing damn well it’d take a lifetime for them to actually go away and not giving up regardless.

~~~~~

The bathroom is filled with chatter and laughter and the sink, with hair clips, scrunchies, a sharpie, bowls, hair products and a towel. Corpse hisses as our cool homemade face mask comes in contact with his skin. His curly hair is pushed back and held by a blue hairband and I apply the mask to his face, making sure not to leave any spots uncovered. Well, that’s what I’m trying to do, which becomes an unnecessarily challenging task when my lovely partner can’t be still for more than two seconds. 

He kept switching between dancing to Soulmate, by Mac Miller, and mouthing its lyrics. Now that I got him - after a small threat that I wouldn’t hesitate putting this weird mix we made in his pretty mouth - to keep his lips together, the (adorable, admittedly) swaying, however, continues. He stops momentarily, only to shuffle things around right after.

Something cold touches my skin, making it my turn to let out a hiss this time. The sound is accompanied by a small jump, caused by the surprise. Corpse chuckles and, when I glance at the spot on my arm the cold thing came in contact with, I realize it’s just the sharpie. All he does is give me a mischievous smile.

While I keep massaging his face and covering it with the mask, Corpse litters my body with his drawings. Smiley faces, lightning bolts, hearts, clouds... his repertoire is vast and any exposed skin he can find becomes his canvas. Each line causing me to giggle and shudder a little. With him focused on his creations, it’s 10 times easier for me to complete my task. 

“Alright, my turn” he states, smiling, and I’m quick to grab the sharpie. 

As he adjusts a matching hairband on my head, I put a dainty heart on his neck. And, as he takes the bowl in his hands, I swiftly plant a kiss on top of the drawing. At this, he sighs in content and my chest gets warmer.

I soon understand how hard it was for him to stay still as Stay comes on and all I want to do is have a little karaoke session and dance. Corpse entertains himself with my struggle and, because it’s his birthday, I’ll let it slide. So, to make the whole process easier, instead of focusing on the song, I focus on the gorgeous face in front of me. A beautiful face to a beautiful soul. 

One of the various perks of sharing an apartment with Corpse is I get to see this face in all ways: sleepy, completely clean - no makeup, no mask -, all wrinkled in the morning, red when he’s embarrassed or when he laughs too hard… His laughter. Its sound pulls me from my trance “You’re staring, y/n” 

“Well, at least I wasn’t moving around, Corpse” I reply with squinted eyes and nudge his side playfully. 

We begin collecting the things scattered across the sink and storing them in the cabinet, and the song comes to an end, giving way to Dang!

“How long do we keep these on?” 

I hum at the question and check the playlist on shuffle on my phone “How does 5 minutes and 2 seconds sound?” 

Facing him, his grin mirrors mine and he spins me around. We laugh and allow ourselves to be as goofy as possible, jamming and moving our limbs around with a green paste on our faces.

~~~~~

After washing off the masks in the shower and painting our nails - so we’re both rocking the black nail polish look -, we’ve set our minds to - finally - finish the puzzle we started two months ago. It’s a 90’s anime setting inspired composition and we’d gotten about 40% of it done before our schedules got more hectic and the game, well, pushed aside. For weeks, the pieces sat on the ground of our living room and silently judged us every time either of us stepped to the side, as we crossed the room, in order not to crush them.

Sitting around the puzzle with comfy clothes, we team up against it and indulge in the wine Corpse’s got us and the hawaiian pizza I’ve ordered. 

As the picture comes more and more to life, moments of comfortable silence and of chattery - when we talk about anything from our shopping list and gossip about our neighbours’ lives to parallel universes and the matrix - follow one another. A different playlist on shuffle is our background noise. 

Time flies and the sun’s already hidden when it clicks to us that there are only 5 pieces left. Each piece is fitted in the whole with a giddier feeling than the previous. Corpse picks the last one - deep blue with purple and black specks - and turns to me with an excited smile and an eager gaze that I’m sure are mirrored on my face. I nod encouragingly. He places it in the puzzle and celebratory sounds fill the room.

Corpse stretches his arms and pulls me in a hug, but, since we’re both kneeling and because of the distance between us, we end up falling and lying on the ground in rather uncomfortable positions. 

“Come on, puzzle, that was easy breezy! Gotta step up your game if you really wanna challenge this duo right here!”

“Oh for sure!” Corpse squeaks as we laugh at our nonsensical brag.

After a moment while we catch our breath, he rubs my back and speaks, pulling my attention to him “Not that I’m not loving this position, but what if we watched some Drag Race?”

Is this man real? If I couldn’t feel his heart beating under me or his arms around my figure, I’d be sure he’s just a figment of my imagination. “But it’s your b- don’t you wanna choose something you like more? Li-” 

“Nope,” he boops my nose “Drag Race, or maybe Love Island, would be great right now.” And people still dare say the perfect man doesn’t exist!

“You’re such a dream!” I give him a quick peck before continuing “Ok, so I put on the show and you get more wine…?” He hums in approval and stands up. Our eyes briefly jump from each other to the puzzle and back to each other, then we simply nod. A silent agreement to leave the puzzle here. We’re both too lazy to put all the pieces back in the box and too proud of our achievement to let it go just yet; besides, everything’s been sitting here for about two months, what are a few more hours?

He steps to the side, gets our glasses and makes his way to the kitchen. I lie on the couch and scan Netflix for Drag Race. Corpse comes back, placing the glasses next to the couch, and gently lies down on top of me. He nests his head on my chest and we both hum contently.  

While RuPaul announces what the winner’s prize will be, I play with his hair, letting my fingers knead his curls. His right hand flies up to meet mine and I bring our intertwined hands to my lips, peppering his knuckles with kisses. The gesture is cut by a loud laugh that escapes my lips as miss Vanjie Mateo’s iconic moment replays on the screen. 

“Hey,” Corpse’s voice makes me look right back at him “I love you. You know that, right?”

My heart melts at his words and at the way he’s looking at me right now. I nod with a smile.

“I love you too, birthday boy.”

[bbbrianjones]

hi again i forgot to ask but im genuinely curious whos your fave from mental as anything sorryy <333

cara irpo32pjrbewrefjpoknflej;klnf;knlfjknlfbdklnfn marry me i swear to god!!! YOU ASKING ME THIS ACTUALLY MADE MY DAY <3!!!

it's greedy!! i know i'm gonna get really sappy and a little bit emotional talking about him because he means so much to me. he really does. i don't want to be all cliche and whatever but his music changed my life. for real. one time i went laid on the floor and listened to fundamental as anything and just sobbed. sobbed my little eyes out. because of how much his lyrics meant to me. all of his songs always have these little touches of sweetness, say a song like spirit got lost. really it’s about spooky season and ghost and ooOooOOoO HOWEVER he just HAD to include the line ‘they’ll always be a chair for you in the corner of my heart’ i mean WHAT IN TH E HONEST FUCKKKKKKKK that lines launches into the fucking sun every time i hear. i listen to that line. blackout and then play it again. like my heart honestly swells so much because it’s so sweet!! it really is!! another song which makes my brain rot is ‘let’s go to paradise’, which in itself is quite a sweet and romantic song, with its line ‘don’t you wonder about the time that you spent wasting your own when you could be wasting mine?” I MEAN WHO HONESTLY WRITES STUFF LIKE THIS!!!! he’s just a big teddy bear, a wonderful little marshmallow!! he’s also quite funny, i remember an interview where he was talking about food and dinner wines and suddenly casually dropped that he was the reason his brother broke up his six month engagement. like honey i didn’t need to know that but you know what?? i’m glad i do now!!! i also LOVE seeing the development he has as a songwriter, his songs were mostly album fillers which doesn’t mean he didn’t have a banger each album which can be seen here now GO!

get wet! - insurance man

espresso bongo - won’t let me drive

cats & dogs - too many times

creatures of leisure - bitter to swallow

fundamental - date with destiny 

mouth to mouth - my door is always open to you

literally chef’s kiss to all of these songs. but really the first songs/singles were all martin’s and reg’s songs, and of course being that they are songs from this band, they slap so hard. so hard. oh my god. BUT greedy barely had any songs, at most he had three on each album up until fundamental. this is literally stretching it but to me he was kinda like the george harrison of the group where he was kinda in the background just doing his own thing and then suddenly he goes BOOM! i give you live it up, top twenty hit song in ten countries!! and while i’m at it - you’re so strong! oh? that isn’t enough??? DATE WITH DESTINY THEN BABY!! literally the first THREE SINGLES from their best selling album are from greedy. like i don’t think you understand, where is the appreciation for this sudden transformation??? my king deserves much more respect than that !!! and then greedy really does become the main guy for writing the singles, and produces banger after banger and honestly it’s such a blessing. martin once said he loved all the songs greedy has written because same same. i get u martin baby!!

look the reason i do love him so much is because with his songs, he does bring so much joy to my life especially in a period in my life where it was just awful. without going into too much detail as i will have a breakdown, live it up saved my life, because it made me feel like i was seen and loved after a very traumatic event, like greedy himself wrote it for me. like yes it is very much a pop song, in some way it can be seen as quite silly, my dad always sings ‘get it up’ rather than live it up but even HE KNOWS the connection i have with this, it’s my baby. it’s my oxygen supply, my bloodline. i saw someone say that mental as anything gave up their “quirkiness” when they released this and i got SO OFFENDED. this is literally a man talking to someone about how the whole world would literally collapse if they smiled -  how can you NOT explode hearing that?? please greedy sir warm my hands against the cold <3 it’s always a song i use when talking about why music means so much to me, it’s that song that allowed me experience connection and just a reminder that everything is going to be ok. weirdest song to have that kinda emotional response to but i don’t care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!