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#I’m getting pissed off at myself at this point
myname-isnia · 6 months
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Okay it was funny at first but now I’m actually getting concerned
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mars-ipan · 6 months
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HOOO my brother just touched a nerve
#marzi speaks#he asked if i wanted to fish with him and our grandpa#i declined bc i only really like flyfishing#HE goes ‘oh alright. i don’t mean to be misogynistic [bad sign] but it’s kind of a more masculine thing anyways’#i am immediately reminded of one of the first times i became infuriated at gender roles#my great uncle was taking a lot of cousins on a fishing trip#i asked to come with (i knew how to fish at this point- my aunts had taught me)#he said no- fishing is a man’s sport#my mother tore him a new one when she found out#so THAT memory is fresh in my mind#combined with the fact that i am now trans and have had my masculinity called into question#so i get Irritated. and go off on him about assigning arbitrary gendered attitudes to things that don’t require them#and how inappropriate it is for him to assign or revoke from me certain gender labels over the act of throwing string on a stick in water#and he pulls out my LEAST FAVORITE defense: well it’s not a big deal#‘it’s not a big deal’ is the FASTEST way to piss me off. because it’s CLEARLY a big deal to me if i’m bothering to get in your face about it#it’s so damn dismissive i hate it.#so i yell a bit more (‘you’re embarrassing me’ ‘be embarrassed i do not care’) and eventually get myself to a point where i go#‘Look. i’m setting a boundary here. don’t assign values of masculine or feminine or whatever to anything i do bc that isn’t your place’#and he goes. ‘okay. i’ll try for you. for YOU specifically. and i’m not gonna be perfect’#which is frustrating as HELL. every promise this motherfucker makes comes with 50 disclaimers like he’s signing a goddamn contract#so i tell him ‘quit with all the extra shit i’m not expecting perfection you’re a goddamn human being. just tell me you’ll try.’#so he starts again and i have to cut him off after ‘i will try’ so he doesn’t put his damn foot in his damn mouth again#UGGGHHHH. GODDD#i’ll probs apologize to him about blowing up later and try to explain how he touched a nerve#but right now i am going to be frustrated#also i feel like he’s gonna start saying too much because he can never let dust settle and frustrate me all over again so is it worth it?#i dunno#but AGH. GOD
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zefforuins · 1 year
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-/&;3;
#made myself mad thinking abt characters and things that don’t matter yet again#going to type my thoughts out here and then distract myself so I get over it LMAO#anyway. a heem heem#at the end of the day it does not matter. how people draw fictional characters. I can always find artists who draw them how I like and I do#but. because I am in a bad mood today. I just think that people who. draw Jason Todd like. really skinny. drives me insane#not necessarily just like the existence of it cause I am used to it but like when it’s him with other characters who are also skinny#I’m like hey why is he the same body type as his 17 year old brother?#and listen. Gotham knights Jason is not my favorite Jason#they fucked up his hair real bad. he looks older than he should according to when the game takes place. but whenever I see someone comment#on his build in the game?? I’m baffled. it’s pissing me off at this point tbh. like I’m sorry 1. not everyone is a size 0 just because you#find it hot. and 2. do you seriously expect. the character who’s whole think is being very strong. and beating people up nightly.#who’s fighting style is much heavier than his acrobat brothers style. to…be skinnier than said brother?#genuinely I think that gk Jason is generally how Jason SHOULD be built 99% of the time. like AK Jason and GK Jason. that’s peak#and it’s always ppl who like. when you look thru their art that body type is the ONLY body type they draw. and I’m like 🤨🤨🤨 is this like#bleeding into fatphobia territory now? not that gk Jason is fat because he VERY much isn’t. but they just draw character sooooooo skinny#as if their whole deal isn’t being physically strong!!!#atp I would rather every character look like 90s xtrme comics drawn by 40 yr old men where their arms are bigger than their heads and you#can see every muscle cause at least it makes somewhat more sense given their jobs ・_・ even tho it is ridiculous in its own way#my post#and it is my least fav comic art style LMAO#but anyways#nothing matters and I surround myself with love and light and I and the smartest person in the world who knows more about my favs than them#<3
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lilgynt · 10 months
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going to a party and length entirely depends on this guy i was cool with but now annoys the fuck out of me
#personal#last time we hung out together he would not let me even get an inch of space whole fucking party#i couldn’t talk to anyone couldn’t sit down could walk around without him barely a step away and fucking leaning on me and like okay you#haven’t seen me for a while so has everyone at this party bc it’s was my first outing since the whole situation dude let me say hi to other#people#like could not talk to anyone else bc he was always just there!!!!!!#and i’m gonna be so honest#i cannot bring myself to care like#he’s being stand offish now after inviting me to the party#bc i was like oh hey don’t know if i can stop firestar or for how long bc i work today and tomorrow etc#and now he’s giving one word replies and it’s like dude what do you want me from me#we were work friends i got a different job my dad died and the last time we hung you either ask my best friend to make out#or hang off of me all night to the point i RAN out while you were pissing#like not even oh we flirted or oh situationship or whatever we were literally just work friends i don’t know where he’s banking all of this#shit but anyway if he’s clingy or weird or just gives me any shit baby i’m going home#but also excited it’s pink themed so hannibal eat me shirt >:) and also old coworkers AND people from my weed shop#when worlds collide#anyway wonder if it’s one of the workers who flirt with me wednmdmdnfjdnbcncjenfndnfnfnf g fjfnnfnfne#anyway if that one guy asks why i’m like so stand off ish or busy or whatever i’m gonna be honest ish and be dude i have a full time job and#my dad died 3 months ago. i got my own shit to deal with and i can barely care about anyone else’s stuff#like obviously i care wirh mh family and like. 3 best friends but everyone else im like if u catch me at a good time no worries but#i’m not gonna go out of my way for a lot of things emotionally or literally
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whereami2385 · 1 year
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I just got robbed of a choker and earrings while at a mall bc I left the bag in the bathroom for 2 FUCKING MINUTES. I ran back immediately and the lady that walked out was suspicious but I went for the bag and was relieved to see it but then found it was empty and I’ve now decided to permanently hate people and never trust them again
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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Maybe it’s the delusions again but maybe… just maybe….. everyone is out to get me
#so i got my passport photos taken today because.. it’s a thing you have to so sometimes#*to do#and the lady was like ‘can i take an email address to send the photos to?’ so i began to say my name#and girl tell me why this woman knew how to spell my last name#i’m obviously not going to dox myself here so this has to remain vague but i have a french last name that is notoriously hard to spell#like i have never not had to spell it out to people. but she heard me say it the one time and then spelled it for me????#never happens. absolutely disarming experience#and then she saw my confusion and gave me this weird little smile???#i was like. what does that mean. why do you know how to spell my name that less than 1000 people share#did my mom piss you off at some point. did my dad piss you off at some point. did i piss you off at some point and i’ve forgotten?#was it my niece?? maybe a distant relative??? who in my family line do you have beef with#like maybe it was a lucky guess and she also has a weird awkward french name but i doubt it somehow#and THEN i went in coopland’s for lunch and managed to snag a table that was next to where people were queueing for the counter#and while i was eating someone walked past me to join the queue and said ‘hiya’#i just gave the world’s most awkward nod because whoooo is this person#so then i looked behind me to get a closer look at her and make sure i hadn’t snubbed a really obvious person who i do in fact know#and she did not look familiar At All. which made the fact that she was giving me the evil eye that much weirder#maybe she was confused about why i was looking at her. maybe she just has rbf. maybe she was on the phone? maybe she thought i was someone#else and was mad at me for not being them. idk. but it was all a bit much#i didn’t like any of this. i don’t like when it feels like people know me but i don’t know them. feeling very truman burbank-esque#🎶I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY’S WAAAATCHING MEEEEEEE (AND I HAVE NO PRIVACY)🎶#anyway if you need me i’ll be rehydrating because i definitely didn’t buy a drink in coopland’s because i didn’t want to pay £1.25#for bottled water ✌🏻#personal
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userastarion · 2 years
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emailed back and forth w this contact at a company we’re working with and it took her 5 emails to actually spell my name right. love that for me
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flippedorbit · 2 years
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My mom didn't even fucking actually discuss anything with me. All she said was “help out more” as if I don't do anything ever. Despite the fact that I do a hell of a lot of shit around the house that I don't get asked or told to do. “Help out more” how am I supposed to do more if I’m already doing everything I fucking can. I can’t juggle every single fucking chore in the house because my sister doesn’t want to actually fucking help out so all her chores get pushed on me to do. “You should come out of your room to learn how to cook” I already fucking know how to cook, if everyone and their mom wasn’t in the kitchen when I want to cook I would actually be able to fucking cook. “You never come out and help us” maybe if everyone was fucking tolerable and not an asshole to me every moment I’m awake I would leave my room a lot more
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theexorcistiii · 15 days
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Is anyone here on t gel can u tell me how long it took u 2 get various changes pls…
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dyk3leepuppy · 24 days
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#depraved ass omo shit idk?#couldn’t stop thinking abt this fantasy tonight😵#needing to pee rlly bad. like getting super desperate looking up at her w pleading puppy eyes n everything#just to have her coo at me thru my whines and whimpers like ‘aww what’s wrong puppy?’ .making me specifically say it and ask for permission.#then after seeing how desperate i am just going w faux sympathy ‘mmm nooo i think u can hold it! be a good puppy and hold it for mama<3’#but obviously im abt to fucking explode😭😭😭so i just plead and desperately beg and she just laughs at me like ‘mm no. u can hold it baby’#but as i insist i can’t anymore she just coos at me like ‘oh u can’t? the puppy can’t help themselves?’😭😭😭😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫#THIS IS ALL SO FUCKING HUMILIATING LIKE I WOULD GENUINELY BE CRYINF FROM EMBARRASSMENT😭😭😭😭😭#and she just keeps telling me i can hold it. 😭😭till i piss myself with the most humiliated sounding whine ever#just for her to coo/aww at me w the stupidest condescending voice ever ‘aww really? u couldn’t help but make a mess of urself baby?’😵‍💫😭#then call me fucking pathetic for losing control so easily😂then also adding to the humiliation.#‘oh my god. are u getting off to this? u like making a fuckin mess of urself like the filthy bitch u are?’#😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😵‍💫#i’m fucking insane .#her <3#bonus points if tickling is involved in any way!😂#being tickled till u piss urself💞🪽✨#being bullied💞🪽✨
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sharkieboi · 2 months
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welp almost passed out at work so turns out we are not doing as well as we thought!!
truly though I didn’t feel bad until in under 30 seconds I felt Really Bad and had to sit on the floor and we had to call the First Responder 😬
I hate covid!!! I hate post-covid!!! I hate long covid!!!
#shhh sharkie#I was having a normal conversation and had been fine all day and truly had been resting as often as possible.#and this just wave of Bad hit me and I was all of a sudden like ‘my legs are not going to support me’ and had to sit down on the floor#i’m fine now i’m home and resting and drinking so much pedialite and chicken broth#like it’s hard cause my brain is firing on like 85/100 cylinders we’re a little slow but we’re there I don’t FEEL bad#but my body is apparently operating a countdown clock that my conscious brain isn’t allowed to be aware of#this is what happened monday too i was totally fine until all of a sudden I was very much not fine#I have at least the next three days off to get myself more up to shape so that’s good at least#1st Responder pointed out that covid depletes you of so much more than you think and you need to make sure you’re taking plenty of vitamins#and that you need to start slow with food and keep it simple and small and frequent#you don’t need breakfast/lunch/dinner you need small food 1-10 throughout the day#start with easy mostly liquid things and work up to more ‘difficult’ foods slowly#and vitamins and pedialite to get all those levels back up#i think i scared the crap out of my coworker who was with me in the kitchen when it happened i feel bad#it’s fine. what’s three more days in bed.#i’m on mostly liquids right now tho so i’m using the bathroom like every half hour#pros: clearly very hydrated. cons: have to get out of bed to piss all the fucking time.
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dragons-hoarde · 10 months
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tag dump heads up it’s a little bit of a mess
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lilgynt · 1 year
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albedobeheading · 11 months
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guys I am. So horribly emotionally unwell
#I was having a fine day!! like a lil stressed and whatever!!#but then I try to ask my dad for advice like should I move this date or next month??#and I say like I don’t know if I have the money for this but also staying here and hearing you and my mom yelling at each other is tough!!#and then he’s obviously not gonna be happy about me saying that bc I’ve deluded myself into thinking that my dad is a different person#than who he actually is and guess what!!! he fuckin makes the point that I need support from roommates but also living with them is#detrimental and says that in a way that he’s starting to get pissed off#like GOD dude!!!!#I feel like!!! my parents should be able to see how often I cry!!! and think huh? yanno maybe we’re contributing to this!!#but they don’t give a shit and I should move out sooner than later because I need to be out of here and that money will return to me at some#some point and eventually everything will be fine for me I just need to work hard and I’ll be living with someone who loves me very soon#because hey!!! right now I’m living with people who love me but are also mean to me!!!#I’m gonna hang out with my boyfriend tomorrow and I just. cannot fucking wait#it’s very possible that I’m incredibly dependent on him but that’s almost certainly just because living with my parents has made me lose#a lot of character development and independence I got from one fucking year of living alone#I’m so mad.#and so sad#ugh. I. I feel sick#I’m gonna cry so much I’ll end up with eye bags tomorrow morning#I just. need everything to work out
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gayjamesdeanlyrics · 1 year
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evie-sturns · 1 month
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pathetic - Matt Sturniolo
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summary: after spending the whole day bickering with your boyfriend, the only option he gives you to get yourself off is to use his thigh.
contains: thigh riding, slight humiliation if you squint, desperate!reader, soft!dom matt
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i stay seated on the arm chair in the living room while matt manspreads on the couch, he’s been ignoring me for the past hour because i “was starting to piss him off”
i cross my legs on the chair as i observe matt, his top teeth slightly sinking into his bottom lip, his arms crossed showing all his tattoos.
his tattoos make me feel a certain way, they turn me on in times like these.
i squeeze my thighs together, desperate for some sort of relief from the ache between my legs
“matt” i say softly, his gaze moves from the tv over to me with a small hum
i toy with the straps of my white tank top, pulling them down to my mid biceps seductively
he instantly looks back at the tv dismissively, i let out a small puff of air frustratedly
“matt” i repeat, my eyes burning into his side profile
he doesn’t respond.
“i need you matt- i need your hands.. anything.” i say, matt looks over at me
“c’mere.” he demands, pointing to the spot infront of him on the floor.
i instantly spring up off the arm chair, speed walking over to the spot infront of matt on the floor, i look down at him on the couch.
“shorts off.” he says, i shimmy my brandy melville shorts down to my ankles before stepping out of them.
“take your tank top off cause you were so desperate to 5 minutes ago.”
i follow his instructions, pulling off my tank top.
i stand fully revealed in front of matt, studying his face carefully.
he pats his right thigh, i hesitate for a second before straddling his thigh.
i feel embarrassed for a second, sitting completely bare on matt’s thigh which is clothed, just like the rest of his body.
he goes back to watching the tv, i go to reach for the waist band of his pyjama pants but he grabs my wrist “nope” he says quietly.
i whine out of embarrassment before slowly starting to rock back and forth on his leg.
“oh fuck-“ i whisper out, placing my hands on his shoulders for support
i repeatedly brush my clit against the fabric of his pants, earning loud whimpers from me.
i flip my head forward, resting on his shoulder as my hair drapes over his chest and neck.
with each rock on his thigh i let out a loud moan “such a fucking slut oh my god.” matt breathes out, almost amused.
my cheeks flush, matt stays looking foward at the tv not paying much attention to me desperately trying to get myself off on his thigh.
i whimper directly into his ear, feeling myself get close
“good girl, let me help you— come all over my thigh” matt speaks before pushing his thigh up, putting more pressure on my clit.
“matt!—“ i call out, squeezing my eyes shut
“so worked up.” he says with a smile, grabbing my hips and pressing me down onto him
“look at you, riding my leg, humping all over my thigh.” matt gently laces his hand into the back of my hair, bringing my head away from his shoulder
he tilts my head down to look at where we meet, his pants which now have a reasonably large damp spot.
my mouth goes slack, matt palms himself with his free hand through his pants, relieving some pressure.
“matt oh my god—“ i whine, my head falling fowards into his chest
matt presses his thigh up again, i let out a loud moan of his name, my nails scratching his shoulders as i feel my orgasm crash over me
all the pleasure i just felt hitting me at once, i arch my back. matt groans at the sight, he can now feel me pulsating on his leg.
i slowly come to a stop, the stimulation becoming too much as i pull back from matt’s chest and lock eyes with him. his cheeks are flushed and he has a small innocent smile on his face.
i’m a panting mess as i glance down between my legs at the mess i made.
“you were wet” he laughs slightly
“me?” i say with a small smirk, pointing down at the very obvious patch that matt’s attempting to cover with his hand
“you’re acting tough when you came in your pants” i tease,
“you’re acting tough like you didn’t just get yourself off on my actual thigh for 10 minutes.” he bites back,
i go to open my mouth again but matt stops me
“you’re acting tough like you weren’t begging me to touch you then ended up resorting to rubbing yourself on my clothes.” he follows up his last comment
i cover my face with my hands “shut up!!” i smile, “go get changed pretty” matt laughs, tapping my hip.
i slowly lift myself off of him, stumbling over to the pile of clothes on the floor.
“sorry about your pants.” i say while redressing myself in the small amount of fabric i had on earlier
“don’t apologise, that shit was so hot.” matt says back, i shake my head with a grin on my face.
i flop back down on the couch next to matt, he reaches a hand out and fixes my messy hair.
just then i hear the door unlock, followed by chris walking inside “sorry guys, gotta piss” he says frantically while jogging over to the stairs with a small glance at us.
“matt why the fuck are your pants so wet did you piss yourself?” he calls out as he runs up the stairs
matt’s eyes widen, his cheeks instantly flushing again
“i spilt water!” he calls out.
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hey guys!! i hope you liked this it was really fun to write
also billie’s world tour wtf?? AND NOT COMING TO NZ but it’s okay i’m going to australia im so excited STOP
@luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @sonicmacks @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @sturniolo-simp4life @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @recklessmatt @ev3rgreenxtrees @lovergirl4387 @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209
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