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onyourhyuck · 1 year

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Rent A Boyfriend. | K.DY

— Prologue: “It used to be “I miss her” for the longest time, but now she misses me.”

— Summary: You want to make your ex boyfriend jealous so you end up renting your ex boyfriend Kim Doyoung to be your new boyfriend.

— Genre: Kim Doyoung is a petty petty man. Kim “acts of service” Doyoung. Bro doyoung is the greenest flag ever. Doyoung’s the prettiest man alive, he knows it. Exes coming to realise they love each other again. Y/n and Doyoung have a complex relationship, they’re not your typical exes.

— Notes: I usually hate exes and second chances but this isn’t your typical toxic ex thing. It’s more of a “finding each other” again trope.

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You hate to be thrown out. You really do, your current boyfriend, well who was your current boyfriend broke up with you.

You’re simply not over him, you don’t understand why he broke up with you either, it’s not like he explained himself he just stated over a phone call “Let’s break up” and expected you to smoothly go with it. But no you tried your best to get an answer out of his mouth but all you got was a ring tone hanging up on you.

You thought things were going well in your relationship with Yohan but that all came crashing down on you. You’re determined to get him back however you don’t believe he can just break up with you — I mean things were going so well for you both.

Without thinking you ring up another caller. The caller ID that you told yourself you wouldn’t ever call again but you don’t look like you have a choice with what plan you’re going to make and do to get your ex boyfriend Yohan’s attention; what better way to grab his eye sight when going back to your another ex…

Kim Doyoung and you dated for a while, probably the longest time you both ever kept a relationship. Problem between you was that Doyoung was too perfect; quite literally. He was the perfect ideal man that you couldn’t keep up with him. You felt strain in that relationship and therefore you left him. It took a while for the man to accept this but few months go back and those months turn into a year, he seems to be doing better now.

You and Doyoung kept contact all these time despite no longer being together too. If anything he’s the one who knows all your gossip and problems in life and gives you advice.

What you don’t know is Doyoung always waits for you. He always wants to believe you’ll come back to him once again.

“Hello Kim Doyoung speaking?”

The deep voice caught you off guard. It’s been a while since you heard his morning voice and your ears found a strange comforting nostalgia of it.

You trail. “Doyoung Hey I need your help.” You we’re sounding half sniffing mess and half trying not to sob breaking down. It would be embarrassing to know that you’ve got broken up with now.

Heck, you expect Doyoung to say ‘That’s karma for you bitch.’ But instead you heard something more shocking.

“Why are you crying, hey what happened?”

‘Why are you so kind and asking me.’ You thought in disbelief but you bury your thoughts away for a large minute as you clear your throat on the call keeping it close to your ears. “I’m fine I just need your help Doyoung.” You we’re desperate.

Desperate for something to feel again. You want to make Yohan come crawling back and beg you to take him and what not.

You won’t stop till you get that.

Doyoung didn’t quite understand what you need him for but he would never abandon you when you’re crying this hard, he doesn’t like seeing you upset. If anything he always hated it. Doyoung wasn’t sure why you’re crying either, because usually you’re pretty good with your emotions.

You don’t cry unless you’re very very sad. Doyoung never misses when he could tell your emotions by the sound of your voice.

And right now you sound broken and beaten down. “Okay tell me then. I’ll do whatever I can to help you.” And you wanted to hear this so badly. You shift on your bed sheets rubbing your eyes with a sigh.

“Yohan broke up with me.” Doyoung heard you say as his eyebrows rose up in surprise. He thought you might of found the one in that man that you had. Not because he was perfect for you, but because you tolerated his ass for more than a month.

You ended up dating that asshole for about six months.

He tried to sound sad for you, but you could definitely tell a bit of happiness in them. But he most certainly wasn’t happy you’re crying your eyes off for a man who hurt you.

Just when he thought you were here to complain and vent about what happened between your relationship with Yohan he felt like a fever dream has kicked in.

“And I really need your help in getting him back.”

‘My help?’ Doyoung exclaims. How can he possibly help you get back with a man that is an asshole? And he couldn’t for once understand what’s going inside your head, you shock him more you speak.

“Yes your help Doyoung, become my rent a boyfriend.”

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You see you weren’t expecting your ex especially to agree to become your rented boyfriend until you make your recent another ex come back to you. It’s a very strange situation thing, most people wouldn’t even let you speak if you were their ex.

But then again you and Doyoung are a strange couple.

Many people saw you and Doyoung as the ideal relationship when you went to university together last year. They claimed you to be long lasting and honestly it would’ve been if you stayed. But you found it to be straining and you wanted to experience more things.

Doyoung wanted commitment and you couldn’t give him that when you’re young wanting to date more people.

But he never once judged you. He understands you want to live a little more. Unlike Doyoung who’s slightly older but not that much. He’s a 96’ liner meanwhile you’re a 98’ liner.

You both decided to meet up and make yourself coming out with Doyoung which would shock anyone. You both were invited to a class reunion from your university campus and it was today so what perfect timing right?

Yohan was in your class together which makes it perfect at the same time because he did say he would come before he broke up with you.

You’re now at the party area wearing your black slim dress hugging your perfect curves as in your one free hand was a champagne drink and the other held a purse. Your hair was in a beat up bun but your side bangs were neatly curled on the side resting above your eyebrows.

You were a star of the attraction definitely, because when Doyoung arrived he was in a formal gathering suit and tie. It was a formal attire so everyone was told to dress up. But you certainly took it to another level. He couldn’t get his eyes off you and neither did anyone else you were attracting everything without a pause.

A hand slid like a grenade around your hips pulling you towards the silhouette and your eyes rose up against a familiar face you haven’t been close like this for a while.

It felt familiar yet it leaves unfamiliar feelings to pop up inside your stomach once more.

“Oh Doyoung.” You retort.

Doyoung stares at you. “We were meant to go in together Y’know— you told me to make it look real.” He was assuming you’d want to walk in together but you forgetting your own plan you walked in without him.

You look away. He was right you have to make it look real to make people believe you. He plops his hands in front of you and your eyes watch it knowing exactly what he wanted.

He wanted you to hold hands.

Your fingers reach his own skin folding your hands together and you both walk together to the round table where the rest of your classmates from last year semester were. Everyone graduated now and they’re probably working their lives away.

Who knows but you were interested in what people got up to ever since graduation.

“You look beautiful by the way.” Doyoung said gently whispering and you look back at him smiling. “You don’t look so bad yourself Kim Doyoung.”

He smirks. “I never look bad and you know it.”

It’s the honest truth Doyoung has amazing fashion dress sense and it always left you drooling. You might be trying not to drool at him now but your mind was set on someone else.

The minute your eyes met Yohan’s he was speaking to another girl that was in your class last year. Kim Jisoo. Your eyebrows furrow squeezing Doyoung’s hand unintentionally you felt jealousy rise in the pit of your stomach and he looks at you.

His side eyes was tugging on your hand back and he clears his head before tugging again. “Y/n you might blow a bullet in them if you keep staring at them like that.” You weren’t aware you were staring them down so harshly until he pulls you back to reality and you murmur. “He brought Jisoo as his plus one.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes at your sadden tone to your face and voice he really doesn’t understand what you saw in Yohan. What he saw was a bunch of negative things and he even tried to be unbiased he still saw nothing but rotten apples in him.

He was everything Doyoung wasn’t. The bad version of him if anything.

Sometimes Doyoung wonders if you got with a bad guy because you were grieving how good your relationship with him was but why would you put yourself through such an asshole? Only God knows an answer to that he’s afraid.

“Look he’s already staring at you because you’re holding my hand so just — do the things you did when we were together.”

When we were together. You couldn’t help but nod following the idea of Doyoung and you acting like when you were actually together.

It wasn’t a bad shoutout but you couldn’t help but feel instantly shy when Doyoung pulled you towards the crowd and now everyone was watching you and him walking in with your hands holdings

The first one to shout out your names was Kim Jungwoo: a close friend of yours as well as Doyoungs. He was also your age so you found it quite easy to bond with someone like Jungwoo when you were put in that class in the semester.

“Doyoung! Y/n! Whoa I didn’t expect you guys to come together.” Jungwoo was left shaking in the boots wondering what’s been happening with you two.

When you broke up with Doyoung everyone found out but nonetheless it was easier to believe you’re back together because of how perfect you were made for one another.

Jungwoo wiggles his eyebrows. “So what’s this huh? Back together already?”

Doyoung glares pushing Jungwoo aside. “Stop being so nosey Jungwoo, what about your plus one?” He started and Jungwoo whistles.

“Judging by your reaction I think I’m right.” He smirks knowing his friend was irritated because it’s true. “Oh my plus one? I brought Giselle.”

You eye Jungwoo momentarily before grinning. “Giselle? Isn’t she like a freshmen at our university?”

He nods. “She’s dating my step brother Shotaro and she really wanted to come with me.” He sighs. “If I didn’t she would’ve made Shotaro ask me to take her.”

You laugh a little. It was a cute scenario to imagine on the other hand Giselle was freaking beautiful you couldn’t help but jerk your face and wow everytime you saw her outfit.

Doyoung could see your eyes sparkle and widen everytime you saw a pretty women around and he found it honestly, a really good reaction. He loved seeing you hype other people around you.

You never once were jealous of someone and he found that a good quality considering you never lacked trust in Doyoung. He never gave you a reason to lack trust too.

“Whoa is that Doyoung and Y/n together?” Someone on the side blurts out and your gaze saw a hundred faces watching you.

You link your arms further with Doyoung smiling. “Heya long time no see huh?”

Taeyong laughs out coming towards Doyoung’s side. “It really was. So what’s this occasion huh? You guys came together and have your hands holding.”

“We’re together.” You smile through saying.

As you could tell everyone was curious of your status with Doyoung now. Johnny on the other hand brings a toast on the table catching everyone’s attention on to him to raise their glasses up too.

You raise your champagne glass and Doyoung grabs a whiskey in a glass up to your arm length.

“To the ideal couple getting back together, Kim Doyoung and Y/n. I always knew you guys would find each other once again.”

Everyone toasts drinking from their glasses but what you saw was only Yohan’s eyes burning through you and Doyoung especially;

You can finally tell that this was getting to him. And it’s only the start of the long young night.

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The people sat down at the table dining together. Jungwoo and Giselle were sat together bickering at what they should get to eat because he certainly wasn’t buying multiple different dishes at once. Meanwhile Doyoung and Taeyong were at it again: the real Tom and Jerry.

You couldn’t help but find yourself speaking with Johnny on the side smiling ear to ear only pissed more Yohan off despite him coming with Jisoo.

Johnny exclaims. “So what how did you guys get back together?”

You chuckle. “We just sat down and talked our feelings out. Y’know how it goes.”

The older man whoas. “As expected from the campus ideal couple. You don’t need any fancy confessions. You only needed a long talk.”

Doyoung rolls his eyes. “Taeyong I didn’t come here to argue about this once again. I will not be modelling with you.”

The older man stood up suddenly doing a pose (the cursed doyoung pose) making Johnny and you burst out laughing from the sudden realisation a travel back down the memory lane.

When Taeyong and Doyoung did modelling together he asked the boy to come with him on the side and when he did the first pose was this. A very unique looking pose that’s been haunting him forever and to this day still does.

He learned to expect him through nervous and embarrassing tears and laughter.

But Taeyong always has to get him back and as long as you found it hilarious he didn’t mean it.

“You know this is going down history babe.” You seethe with a smile and Doyoung turns to you going slightly red.

Whenever you’re both natural like this you always call him Babe or Love maybe even Darling. But you weren’t think at the time which caught you and him surprisingly off.

But Doyoung smiles holding your hand underneath the table caressing it with his thumb. You found it somehow very comforting to know he was okay with it even though it was a natural slip up.

It truly felt like you were back together for a hot minute.

“It’s nice to see the old couple come back. I knew you guys wouldn’t break up so easily.” Jungwoo said with a proud smile.

If only it were true, Doyoung would think. He would love to have you back in his life.

Maybe he agreed too easily for this knowing damn well he wants to be with you again so all it took for him to agree was to fake date you until your recent ex you’re so mad that dumped you shows the lightest of attention to you.

“Doyoung’s an amazing guy. It would be a shame to lose him because he’s always been there for me. He never once took it against me. He was just there whenever I needed someone to help me.”

The most sincere he’s ever seen you speak about him, it would make him think that you’re cherishing him so much behind close doors and sometimes you cry wondering what would you be without Doyoung? But other times you’re just blessed to have him and grateful for his existence.

He never once left you alone and he knew you wouldn’t want to be left alone either. Doyoung was just as much good for you than anything.

He leans closer stroking your hair away from your face smiling down at you. He whispers into your ears when the other people were busy eating and chatting away since the food came.

“I think that’s the most genuine thing you’ve said to me.” He would quietly say to you and you smile resting your head against his forehead for a moment closing your eyes.

This was always your thing. You resting your head on his own whenever you spoke about something real and raw from your own thoughts.

Doyoung missed you being this way with him, just honestly truthful and speaking with him. He always remembers your smile and it never once erased from his head. It was engraved in to his thoughts.

“I’m going to use the toilet alright?” You whisper standing up and leaving the table. Doyoung nods letting you go as he would focus on drinking and now eating.

Taeyong was going to bother him any minute he knew it would be the second you left.

As you’ve left you come out of the toilet when you’re done using it drying the hands into the pieces of paper to get rid of the water after washing your hands. You walk to the bin in the hallway and then you meet a figure standing there waiting for you.

You turn around raising an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?”

Yohan stares you down. “We need to talk.”

‘Oh yeah we definitely do.’ You thought clenching your jaw.

“You and Doyoung are back together so quickly?” He trails crossing his arms together wondering where and why you got so quickly back to another ex that he’s always been questioning if anything was happening behind you and him when you were together.

But he never once believed you and always wanted to sabotage your relationship with Doyoung and you.

Even if he found no evidence. You weren’t cheating on him ever.

Doyoung was the reason you managed to stay with him anyways. He gave you such good advice whenever Yohan made an argument or a problem.

You reply back bluntly. “You have a problem with that?” Yohan stares at you as if it wasn’t an obvious problem.

“Yes Y/n what the fuck? How can you get back with him right after we broke up.”

You roll your eyes. “No we didn’t break up, YOU broke up with me. Furthermore you didn’t give me a reasoning so if you won’t give me a reason I’ll just make one up.”

He stands there going quiet. You can’t believe his utter silence now as you shot back at him and you walk away to return back to the table but he grabs your wrist pulling you back and stopping you from leaving him.

“I’m sorry I broke up with you. I just found you boring but I don’t know what I was thinking.” He said making you watch him. “Let’s get back together.”

Your eyebrows scrunch up. “You broke up with me because I was… boring?” You repeated in confusion. What kind of breakup excuse is that?

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You reclaim pushing him off your wrist taking it back to your chest. “Nahuh, Nahuh. I don’t need you anymore.”

Sure your plan worked but now you are realising how stupid this whole plan was and the fact he found you boring enough to throw you out? You weren’t sure how that makes sense but now you’re realising the true colours of your ex.

He wasn’t the one. He definitely wasn’t the one.

Yohan shouts your name as you left but you didn’t turn back this time you were the one doing the walking away and when you returned to the table Doyoung was the first one to ask you what was wrong when he saw your indifferent expression.

Doyoung whispers. “Y/n what’s wrong?”

You shake your head grabbing your dress edge on the thighs tightly. “Nothing i’m an idiot that’s all.”

He puts down his fork and knife grabbing your hands and standing up suddenly causing the table to look where you both are going.

“Y/n isn’t feeling well so we are leaving. It was nice to catch up and all but I’m sure you understand right?”

Doyoung always knew how to get away when it comes to you. You were his first priority and still are even if this was just a whole fake situation he would never put you through a place and time where you can’t handle being.

Taeyong nods seeing everyone come to a mutual understanding. “Yeah of course take her away. It was nice seeing you and Y/n!”

Johnny smiles. “Let’s meet up for drinks later on alright?”

You nod at Johnny smiling a little but even so you couldn’t help and not firm a genuine smile because all you could say was that you’re feeling like absolute shit and insecure now, Yohan really made you feel like you were a recycled bottle easy to throw away and disused of instantly.

‘Am I really that easy to replace?’

You were tucked into the car passenger seat putting on the seatbelt as Doyoung sits in the driver seat starting the car engine letting it roar a while before fully driving off.

You look out the window trailing softly, letting your mind overtake your consciousness.

“He was bored.” You state out like a lifeless child.

At first the man driving the car couldn’t understand what you meant by ‘he was bored’ because it wasn’t a freaking excuse to break up. Doyoung driving clenches the stirring wheel as he drove but kept the eyes on the road.

He firmly tells you in a deep voice enough to think he was going to lose his shit when you told him the reasoning. “Y/n move on from that piece of shit already. He didn’t even give you one bit if happiness.”

He was right but somehow his words stuck to you more than they should’ve.

“I know. I’m aware of the stuff he put me through but seriously.” You pause feeling your eyes begin to sting out as you felt water in them rise like sea levels. “He really said it like I’m something that can get replaced.”

He scoffs. “Well you’re not okay? Y/n you are the hardest thing to replace and forget.” He slings out one of his hands onto your thighs squeezing them but this time you felt your face look at him with a slight blush on your cheeks.

“Look at me for an example.” He slowly says feeling himself loose a bit of his logical mind screaming at him not to confess but he couldn’t help but shoot the opportunity to let you know the truth of how much he’s still in love with you. “I’m still here missing you when we were together. I still have a lingering hope in me even if you want us to be friends, I’m happy with any status as long as I’m there in your life. But I can’t replace you no matter what people I date.”

“So that asshole yeah? He won’t be replacing you anytime soon trust me.” Doyoung said nodding at the road as he kept them on driving with one hand on the wheel while the other was squeezing your thighs comfortingly.

You found comfort in his honesty the most and you smile finding yourself having butterflies in your stomach.

This feeling… this feeling you’ve felt before.

“Please don’t waste your tears on a scum like that.” Doyoung would slowly tell you as he could see a little of your eyes watering before he refocused his eyes on the road once again.

You muffle. “I won’t.”

“Promise me?” Doyoung asked you and you reply back “I promise you.”

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You sat down curled up on the bed as Doyoung walks in bringing you a glass of water on your nightstand. He sat on the edge of your bed looking around the room.

“This room hasn’t changed at all.” He beams somehow finding this good because this room held many memories with you together with him.

You roll on your bed sighing. “I can’t bring myself to change it. It has too many…”

“Memories?” He finished your sentence and you give him a nod exactly what it was. “Memories with you.”

You’re laying there in the comforting silence as you remember laughing a little pointing at the wall that has a painted bunny on it drawn. When you got this place for the first time it was your first owned property and you wanted to decorate this room and for a while Doyoung helped you.

But you came to the terms that you wanted an animal drawn and Doyoung suggested a bunny because your contact name back then was the bunny emoji on your phone — actually it’s still the same contact name. You’ve never changed his name in your contacts.

“I still have the bunny you wanted on the wall. Remember how we drew it together?”

Doyoung turns around the minute he saw it he softly smiled finding it alarming how he was remembering so many moments in the space of a minute. When you painted this with him you and Doyoung came out with dirty clothes because you both decided to be mischievous and get the one covered in full paint.

It was a white bunny with a pink nose and folded bunny ears up. It was a beautiful drawing honestly, you can draw. Doyoung made sure to colour it for you but you’ve done the sketching mostly.

He helped you decorate this house entirely. He helped you move into this house entirely. Heck he even second lived here with you because whenever he would stay over he left a bunch of homebody clothes to wear if he ever does.

And you think it’s still in that singular drawer still. You haven’t taken it out and you sometimes wear the shirts and sweatpants.

You found it comforting because it’s oversized on you. It’s very comfortable and nice to sleep in it. Plus when you broke up you found comfort in them because it sort of made you feel like he was still there.

“You know, I like that you didn’t change this room.” He said honestly looking back at you.

You smile. “Me too. It’s iconic at this point. Oh and…” you pause seeing him still wear the formal clothing attire and you point at his clothing.

He looks down as you motion. “I have your clothes still here you want them? You can stay over if you want honestly.”

Doyoung’s face forms a smile as you get off your bed walking to the drawer and getting out a pair of shirt and pants for him throwing it where Doyoung catches it in the air he stands up humming.

“Didn’t think you’d have kept my clothes still.”

You shrug a little smirking. “They’re comfortable. I sometimes wear them still.”

‘You can’t move on either it seems.’ Doyoung thought before walking to the bathroom to get changed and meanwhile you would go into the cupboard getting out a sudden memory boom that fell on the floor. You raise your eyebrows as you lift it up.

It was a memory book from the university and some pictures were when you were a baby. You sit back on the bed flipping through them.

You were a cute child you had to admit looking back you were a fashionista to the highest grounds. Doyoung comes back from the bathroom walking inside your bedroom again and he folds his clothes neatly somewhere.

He eyes down the memory boom. “Is that the memory book we made together?” He beams sitting back down and you smile.

“I forgot I had this.” You flip the page to when you and Doyoung started your relationship. It was a picture of you and him at a beach.

Then a picture of you and him on your first Christmas Day. Another one would be on holiday in Italy. You spent so many days with him doing absolute anything to enjoy together.

He softly brushed on the picture of you and him on the Christmas Day sitting on the couch, him kissing your cheek in the picture. His eyes softens and you felt him becoming slightly nostalgic and emotional. It was a rare sight to see him become soft when going back down the memory lane with you.

You bite your bottom cheek as your fingers brush over his hands caressing the picture in the memory book.

He looks at you as you made contact with him. “You know…I’m still being rented by you.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the sudden change in his voice becoming slightly playful at the same time he was being cautious because he wouldn’t know how you’re going to react but to his surprise you softly laugh leaning closer giving him a soft peck on the lips.

“I don’t want this to become a single thing.” You admit leaning closer. “I’ve come to a realisation that I only needed you…”

Doyoung’s eyes risen up from the dead. They lit up so much brighter than they were before when he was normally watching you. “Really?…”

You give him a reassuring nod. “So… how about we make this rent a boyfriend a real thing once again. But this time I’ll be serious about you.”

“God I waited so long to hear this from you.” Doyoung gasps going in for a long passionate kiss with you and you entitled yourself to return it missing the longing lips on yours so bad.

You weren’t even sure of it because you were deprived of him, of Doyoung.

“It used to be “I miss her” for the longest time, but now she misses me.” Doyoung thought all along it was you at the end who was coming to terms of how much you need him back in your life.

And that maybe it’s real. That the world was putting you back together and you always found each other to be each other’s safe zones.

You found each other finally.

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@onyourhyuck please refer from copyrighting and translating my work thank youu!! Please reblog the fic and follow me for more fics updates <3 it helps a girl out.

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raffe156 · 1 year

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Late Night admin

Pairing - Price X Tank X Ghost

Summary - A team night out turns into more, is 3 really a crowd?

Warnings - Smut (18+) Voyeurism, Language, alcohol, Age gap Price (39) Tank (25) Ghost (36) SoftDom!Price, public sex, praise kink, fingering, Hair pulling, Oral (M receiving), P in V, unsafe sex, Ghost being a little simp for Tank

AN- Well, this was meant to be smut without plot...well, I failed at that.. not 100% happy with it, but we'll see what you guys think. It doesn’t tie in with the Your captain series- this is an AU in which dr Helen never even crossed Prices mind, Tank never left for Squad 8 …so a better universe 🤣🤣🤣

It's kind of filth/heartfelt. Also I know Kyle has moves no one can tell me otherwise, haha 😂

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Call of duty characters, Only Tank

💖 As always, feedback welcome! It only results in me getting more stuff out - p.s Iam working on Breakaway state part 3 don't worry 😘

@deadbranch @mildlyhopeless @fanficandartgal @shuttlelauncher81 @a-littlebirdie @soapyghost @boomtowngirl @mostannoyingbillioner @brewed-pangolin @chb-7 @sarcastic-raptor163 @tapioca-marzipan

@onlycodcanjudgeme

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“What?”

“No nothing…you look good kid…you sure you don’t want my jacket?” Price was already removing it from his shoulders.

“No im good, I’m literally in jeans and a T-shirt…” You looked down at yourself, but the comment still boosted your ego, but Prices opinion was biased at the best of times he told you you looked stunning with dirt, grime and gun oil on your face!

“Yeh but you look good…is that one of my T-shirts? Have you knotted it at the back?”

“No…its an old one…” you made for the door out of his office knowing full well it wasnt an old one and it was infact the very same top he had worn earlier today.

“Tank…If that has my name on the label…”

“It doesn’t want me to take it off and show you?”

“Yes actually…” He smirked knowing full well it was his. You scoffed he wasnt daft, for a start it did have his name on the label and smelt of cigars and his aftershave.

“I thought you wouldn’t mind, and besides if I smell like another man then guys won’t try and grind up on me in the club! It’s a win win…Me and Kyle can dance in peace with out you and Ghost kicking heads in” you rested your hand on his chest. He didn’t know you were going to a club. Shit.

“A club? I thought it was a pub?”

“Need to get your hearing checked already? How very sexy John” you motioned for him to leave his office, he followed reluctantly.

*********

As you an Price entered the club the music hit you vibrating through your body. You turned to look back at your Captain he looked annoyed already, it was too many people for him. That an the doorman had asked you for ID at the same time the other had told Price the pub was down the road. As you manoeuvred through the crowd of bodies you reached back for his hand and laced your fingers into his giving them a little squeeze and a wink. He smiled, thats all he needed, but he did feel abit daft, this place wasnt like the dive clubs he had gone to as a teen, it was fancy and he much preferred the pub, the doorman had said one was down the road he wondered if he could talk at least Ghost into joining him leaving the ‘youngsters’ to the clubbing.

“TANK!”

You spotted Kyle waving to you from across the room, you tugged on Price's hand leading him through the crowd. Ghost and Soap were sat in the private booth you and Kyle had booked. You can’t even remember when you had booked it but you were both definitely drunk when you did, never again were you being left in charge of team nights out. Soap jumped up he looked almost shocked to see Price, but then these days where ever you were Price wasn't far behind.

“Captain! Tank! Nice of you to join us” He slapped Price on the back.

Ghost moved up for Price to sit beside him handing him a drink, it wasn't top shelf like they were use to but it would do as he did he gave you the quick once over, he always did, he noted that you were wearing Price's Tshirt he knew because the sleeves were much wider than one that was your size, the knot on the back making it tight and hug you just right and also the Cigar smoke and aftershave were a dead giveaway.

Before Price could tell you to sit down next to him, you and Kyle had already made your way to the Dance floor, he shook his head smiling he loved when you were like this…happy…having a good time there wasn’t much time for that in your line of work…even if it wasn't his scene he was happy he came just to see you laughing and dancing and…..were you not wearing a bra? How had he not noticed that back at the base? Fuck sake! He would be having words later, he wasn't the only one who had noticed, it was the first thing Ghost had clocked when you had walked up to them, he watched as your tits bounced with every movement and the way you swayed your hips had him shifting in his seat to rearrange his jeans. Price was a lucky man. Taking a sip of his drink he noticed Price was also watching you, Ghost was probably the only one who knew that you guys had been fucking for a few weeks now, he had caught you two at it late one night in Price’s office, Price had looked entranced by you falling apart under him, Ghost had wanted to be apart of that , he wanted to be the reason you crumbled wanted to feel you under him…but he simply observed replaying it back later in his bunk. After that he had watched you both a few more times he tracked your habits knew what words were code for you two getting together. “Need a had with some paperwork tonight Tank, you mind?” You neverminded, thats what Ghost found so alluring, you never said no to your Captain, complete obedience, as he always said “Good soldiers, follow orders” and you were the best little soldier he knew. It made him jealous, he wanted you wrapped around him, he wanted just a taste of what you and Price had even if he had to share.

****

You an Kyle had been dancing for what seemed ages, your skin numb from the beat. You noticed Price and Ghost in deep conversation.

“What do you think they are taking about!” You tired to shout in Kyles ear. He was 7 tequilas in so he hadn’t noticed them looking over as much.

“Who Price and Ghost? How would I know…the good old days probably hahaha ohh no this is a banger of a tune!” You had lost him now. You looked back over to the booth, Soap was ordering more drinks and trying to chat up the waitress who to be fair looked interested. Ghost was now in Price’s ear, you made eyes at Price he just gave you a wink. You had a feeling you were the topic of conversation.

********

“Had much paper work this week Captain?” Ghost finished his drink. Price side eyed him, He knew Ghost had been watching you and him for the last few weeks, he wasnt daft Ghost thought he was smart but Price was smarter.

“You know what I have, Tank has been a massive help, don’t know what id do with out her…”

“Yehhh shes a good girl our Tank…thinking of asking her if she wants some one on one sparring sessions…perfect her hand to hand combat skills…” Ghost signaled the waitress for another round.

“Hmmm you can always ask, she’s pretty busy most days with me or Kyle…but you can only ask cant you?” Price gulped his drink in one.

“Yeh I noticed shes always busy with you, not so much Kyle…but I was thinking more of a late night class, I think she’d be up for it…you could even join in…give us a few pointers If you get what I mean…thats only If Tank is good with it?”

Price narrowed his eyes, was Ghost suggesting what he thought he was? Bold move…even though he didn’t like the thought of sharing you with him, Price did like the idea of putting him in his place he had no doubt Ghost would be good to you, but not like he was, it would be nice to take him down a notch or two, he had noticed him sniffing around you and it was becoming tiresome. Price glanced over at you, he wondered if you’d even be up for it, He beckoned you over.

You were being summoned, you tapped Kyle to signal you were going to get your drink from the booth, he nodded he was in full rave mode. The heat from all the bodies was suffocating, it wasnt till you emerged out and into the booth did you realise how warm it had been in there, your skin was shiny with sweat. Price patted the seat in between him and Ghost, both men hardly budge up, it was a tight squeeze. You sat down sipping your drink. Cosy.

“Having fun kid?” Price handed you and Ghost a shot as you downed the drink in your hand.

“Thanks and yeh…what’s up?” You were on alert now, this was the first time in weeks these two looked like they were getting on? Something was going on?

“We have a little proposal for you love” Ghost leaned back in his seat his arms on the back of the booth, legs spread wide.

“Oh yeah? An what would that be?” You took Prices drink from him, swishing it before knocking it back…not his usual grade but it went down a treat. Price gave you alittle smirk, you caught on fast no beating around the bush with you. His clever girl.

“Well…Me and Ghoat have been talking and…” Price handed you another shot.

“Is this about Ghost watching us have sex in your office? Because I know about that…I clocked him about 3 weeks ago…Whats up LT you not been able to get it out of your head? The Captain is good at what he does…” You took the shot and followed it with another. Both men looked at eachother in disbelief. Ghost rolled his eyes.

“What do you mean you knew? You knew he was watching us the whole time?” Price leaned forward. He couldn’t believe you hadnt said anything.

“Yeh…I thought it was something you two had arranged? I thought thats what the whole song and dance with ‘Need a hand doing some paper work’ was about? I thought it was code for Me and Tank are gonna be at it in my office Ghost” you gave a thumbs up to demonstrate. Ghost started laughing it was a sound you only heard on the rare occasion something really tickled him.

“So how about it then Tank…Me you and the Captain? You up for it” He rested his hand on your thigh leaning in close enough you could smell his aftershave, it was peppery and dark it sent shivers up your spine. Price slid his hand up the back of your top spreading his fingers out on your back it only intensified the goosebumps.

“What do you think Boss?” You glanced round to Price giving him a cheeky grin? Price was hooked.

“Yeh I don't mind a little bit of audience participation if you dont kid, what time we leaving?” He snaked his hand round to your chest palming your breast in his rough hand. Ghost watched as you melted into Price's Touch.

******

It had been a mad struggle to convince Soap not to bring the waitress back to the base with you in the end Ghost had paid her to walk away. He had better things to be doing.

Once back at the base you said your good nights and headed to your side of the base, Soap helped Kyle to their shared room, but Ghost hung back.

“You not coming LT?” Soap wanted help with the very drunk Kyle.

“Im sure you can manage Johnny…Im gonna have a proper drink with Price…need to get the taste of shit bourbon out my mouth”

Soap nodded picking Kyle back up from the floor half carrying him half dragging.

“Don’t let him swallow his tongue!” Price yelled after them.

Once they were out of ear shot Price turned to the lieutenant.

“Some ground rules Ghost…you don’t cum inside her I don’t care how good it feels…she likes it rough but nothing visible, lastly if she says stop you stop”

Ghost nodded why did he feel nervous? He’d imagined this hundreds of times, he followed Price to your room.

“Oh one more thing…even in here I’m still your Captain so what I say goes”

Price knocked before letting himself in to your room, Ghost right behind him.

Without a word Price moved in on you in two strides pressing his body to yours cupping your face, pulling you into a deep kiss. Ghost watched on as Price unbuttoned your jeans pulling them down and helping you step out of them. He didn’t know when he should join in he waited for the go ahead.

Price sat you on the end of the bed, his hand stroking the top of your head.

“Thought you wanted to join in Ghost?” Price called back to him, never taking his eyes off yours. That was his invite.

They both towered over you but you didn’t care, you had already started working on unbuckling Prices belt. Ghost was already shifting his jeans down to rest on his hips.

“Steady on sweetheart…” Price stopped your hands, pulling his cock out for you. Ghost steadily stroking away. The site of them both made you ache. Ghost was exactly how you imagined, Price steered you head in his direction pressing his tip to your lips.

“Open wide for me love” Price stroked your cheek tenderly. You did as you where told and wrapped your mouth around him softly licking the underside of his head. You looked up at him as he slid further down your throat. The sight caused Ghost to let out a low growl.

“That’s a good girl…” Price looped his hand up into your hair. You could feel Ghost getting impatient, but you looked to Price for permission, he nodded. You reached out your hand to grab him. He sighed at the softness of your hand on his cock you stroked him but he was eager to have your mouth around him as well. You pulled away from Price leaving a string of spit and took Ghost in your mouth, you could feel the corners of your mouth split as you tried to take him in. Christ, he was big, you tried your hardest but you gagged and pulled your head away gasping.

They looked at each other amused then back at you, like a pair of bullies that had their victim cornered.

“Easy now…lets not get carried away eh?” Price cupped your face letting your recover.

“Lay back for me…” you did as you were told, the butterflies in your stomach more of a flurry now. Price crouched infront of you his mouth an inch away from your opening you could feel his warm breath. You looked down at his handsome face his eyes a liquid blue you willed him to touch you. The heat from his tongue as it slipped in caused a little groan to escape from you.

“Please…fingers…please” you begged him.

“So impatient…but seeing as you asked politely…” Price could rarely say no to you, he pushed two fingers in his tongue still flat against your clit, you could feel his beard scratching your inner thighs but you liked it always did. He lazily curled his fingers up inside you, as you rolled your head back you locked eyes with Ghost. He moved closer to you, his hand falling to stroke the top of your head all the filthy things he wanted to do to you caused a stampede in his mind. Price stopped and turned his attention to Ghost. He was getting impatient as well Price wasn't a cruel man but Ghost needed to learn his place when it came to you. He removed his fingers and angled himself over you pressing his tip just enough to make you squirm. Ghost watched as your eyes switched from a soft focus to full-blown desire.

“Think Ghost wants to know what it feel like to be inside you Tank…so I'm going to be generous and let him go first, is that ok?”

Price leant forward planting little kisses on your breasts and stomach, your skin smelt of him it drove him insane he hoped Ghost would be able to smell it a reminder of who’s you were claimed by him.

You nodded glancing over at Ghost who waited for Price to remove himself from between your legs he was taking his time on purpose.

“Ill be right here where you can see me ok…” Price positioned himself just to the side of you. You watched him as Ghost softly nestled between your thighs. He lifted his ski mask up so it rested on the bridge of his nose. He placed your leg over his shoulder slightly lifting you from underneath with his hand he angled you up to his face. The position was a new one and Price was impressed and he knew you were to from the little smirk on your face which was soon wiped clean as Ghost made contact with you, he went at it like a last meal, the taste of bourbon and honey and the faint cigar ash…Price making sure he knew he was just a guest.

He sucked hard on your clit causing you to dig your heel into his back arching up further. The noises coming from you sent him into a frenzy and knew you were close, he wanted you to cum, he need you to cum he had to hear the sound and know he had caused it.

“Need to feel you cum on him cock…” Ghost shoved you up the bed with one hand, he nudge at your centre with his tip, Price looked at you for any sign of hesitation Price was above average in size but Ghost was wider, but from the look in your eyes you wanted it. Fair enough. Without a word you spread you legs open wider for him. The fuse in Ghosts brain blew, he slowly pushed inside, your walls stretching around him, it was a tight fit. It took everything for him not to ram his length in fully. One last push and he was fully inside you for real and not just in his head with his hand as a very poor substitute.

“Fuckin hell…” Ghost was drunk on the feeling of you around him, with every draw back your walls sucked him back in he had to slow down or else he was going to break the first rule, but your moans were blocking out all rational thoughts, then there the sound he wanted to hear most of all you were coming undone the barrier falling down. You clawed at his chest, shuddering as you came. He gently wrapped his hand round your throat only applying light pressure looking into your eyes. Price said you liked it rough.

“Simonnnnn……”you moaned as you shook, he had to pull back slightly he would of happily filled you up there and then but he could feel Price switching his gaze from you to him. Watching him like a hawk. How bad of a beating would it be?

“On your front Tank” Price stood at the top of the bed helping you get on all fours.

“Let’s get one more out of her eh?…remember not inside…I mean it…Ill hang you myself…” Price winked as he said it, Ghost believed him.

Looking down at you spread open again for him, he watched Price nuzzle your face, calling you a good girl as you took him to the base. He felt spoilt as he buried himself inside you again only giving you a moment to adjust around him before he bucked his hips into you with each thrust he made sure to slowly drag himself back out trying to match the rhythm of Price thrusting into your throat.

“Tell your Lieutenant how good you feel…tell him…how good you are…” Price gritted his teeth.

You could feel your orgasm building then the thin little thread broke, causing both men to fall apart, ready to break. Price had stilled, his head back as you swallowed every last bit. Just as Ghost was close you turned to look at him, you eyes glossy.

“Did Price tell you not to cum inside me?…” You voice was strained, it was enough to send him over the edge. He nodded only slowly slightly.

“Well you can…but I want to see your face as you do…without the mask…” You half-turned you body reaching up for him to hold you to his chest. Price shot you a look, no way Ghost was removing his mask…but just like that it was off and thrown on the floor…Ghost was hook, line and sinker for you.

“Good boy…” you studied him kissing the large scar on his face. He clutched you to his chest, his forehead resting on your temple panting your name as he came inside you coating your walls. You both collapsed forward Ghost moving to the side of you still tangled up you reached to pull Price onto the bed, he obliged. The small cot creaked in protest under the 3 of you.

“Do you want your mask back Ghost?” Price reached for it.

“No…its ok ill leave it off for a little longer..does this mean I get to help with paperwork more often?” He kissed your shoulder liking the way your skin felt against his face.

“We’ll see” You and Price agreed in unison.

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haknom · 1 year

Text

bravery at my nighters — yjw teaser!

SYNOPSIS > after being expelled from his old school for something he didn’t do, life for jungwon only got harder. everyone avoided him and claimed that he was “bad energy” or a “terrible influence.” so, why did you have to be different than everyone else and actually try to get close to him while gnoring all the rumors about him?

PAIRING > junior!jungwon x junior-fem!reader

WARNINGS > EVERYTHING IS FICTIONAL jungwon is like injured rlly badly, cleaning wounds (?), and mentions of food.

WORDCOUNT > 743 words !

NOTE > my apologies for not posting mpays!! i literally lost sm motivation to continue writing it so for now it’s on hold! but this fic Tell me why i wrote almost 7k words under two days.. LOLL but here’s the teaser for it!! i rlly need people on this taglist guys 😞

TEASER / PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

Jungwon’s vision was slightly blurry and his whole body throbbed in pain. He didn’t care about all his scars and fresh wounds. All he wanted was food, he was starving. If it was a regular day at home, he would’ve eaten dinner about an hour ago. No wonder his stomach was growling.

He attempted to stand with the amount of strength he had left. It worked mostly, but he still wobbled on his feet. There should be a nearby convenience store if he wasn’t wrong. Maybe he could get something to fill his belly with the amount of money he had on him.

His feet dragged against the pathways he walked on, holding onto anything nearby for extra support. The store sign that read ‘24HRS’ glowed, illuminating the night sky, and caught Jungwon’s attention as he headed towards it.

The chime from the front door of the convenience store welcomed him and alerted the worker at the front. “Hey, welcome! Tell me if you need any — Woah, what happened to you?!” Her voice exclaimed, but Jungwon ignored her and went to look for a meal.

He picked up a container of Kimbap followed by some extra side dishes. This should be under his budget. He walked over to the cashier with a limp as he felt his limbs becoming sore. “Here,” he mumbled, placing the items on the counter. It only looked like his lips moved with no sound but that was not the case, he had only a little energy in him to speak. It was bad.

The beeping sounds from the item scanner filled the awkward silence between the two as he watched the total count up. “Final price is $6.55, how would you like to pay?” She questioned as he held out the cash needed. “Enjoy your meal,” she said cautiously as he nodded and exited the convenience store to sit on one of the outdoor seats.

The fresh air helped him breathe as he felt his mind clear from the previous incident. He slowly opened his mouth, jaw still sore from the hits the boys landed, and took a bite of his food.

He exhaled out of satisfaction and from the comfort the food gave him and his stomach as he went in for another bite, finishing the Kimbap whole.

The door chimed as the cashier from earlier headed toward Jungwon’s seat. “Hey, you seemed… very injured, are you okay?” She asked, causing Jungwon to turn his head to her walking figure. “I’m fine,” he said, now with more volume. “You don’t look like it,” she sat down on the empty seat on the other side of his table.

“Well, I am. So, I don’t need your help,” he stated with a bitter tone and continued to eat while the cashier placed down items on the table. “Whatever, I’m a high school student, and you look like one too so don’t freak out.” She explained as he looked at her.

“Why are you introducing yourself as if we’ll meet again later? Plus, what if I was some old man who just looked very young?” He said with a raised brow. Did she normally go around giving people her personal information? “I saw your student ID when you were grabbing the cash. I have good peripheral vision.” She explained as he stopped his movements. Well, that was embarrassing.

“But that’s not the point right now, your looks are worrying me, could I treat your wounds? They’re just items from the convenience store, I think it’ll help—”

“I said I’m fine, alright? I don’t need your kindness to feel better or whatever.” He grabbed his food, getting ready to leave. “So, you’re telling me if I were to touch your arm right now, you wouldn't wince in pain?” She argued as he stood there in silence.

“No—Ow!” He exclaimed out of utter shock and pain. “Why did you grip my leg? It could’ve just been a light tap and I would’ve been fine!” He looked down at her as she stared back at him blankly.

“Sit down,” she instructed as he took his seat with a sigh of defeat. She grabbed the ointment from the plastic bag on the table along with a cotton swab. “Where do you want to start?” She questioned while squeezing the ointment onto the end of the cotton swab. “Should I really be trusting a stranger right now?” He asked, unsure of his future choices.

PERM TAGLIST: @soov @redm4ri @ox1-lovesick @urszn @feeeli @taejays @hanniluvi @dakkisz @dimplewonie @ddenoudepression @xiaoderrrr @ja4hyvn @mmaplepastries @essmarye @w3bqrl

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concreteburialplot · 7 months

Text

VIRALITY // 10

10 - Maybe Both, Maybe Neither

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc [vallie]

masterlist/intro: here | crossposted: ao3 | word count: 5.8k

summary: after waking up next to each other vallie & nicholas go their separate ways. vallie goes to visit an old friend who may be more than friendly. nicholas goes to sober up noah but doesn’t expect him to pull the curtain back on his resentment.

warnings: mentions about alcoholism/AA meetings/cheating, arguing, noah being annoying but what's new, tea is spilled !!, vallie is vulnerable for once in her life, lots of dialogue, alternating POVs sorry 🥲

A/N: Sorry it's been like 2 months since I’ve updated, it literally did not feel like it 🥲 school & life are kicking my ass lol + this chapter ended up being so complicated / difficult

Also! This chapter introduces a very mild crossover with Christian 'Kras' Anthony from the band Chase Atlantic - he's being used as a fun little temporary reoccurring side character. Don't worry, knowing who he is isn't necessary to understand his character lol i just think he's cute🥰

don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)

-NICHOLAS-

A jarring buzzing jolts me awake. I sit up a bit with scrunched eyes trying to follow the noise with a wandering patting hand. The noise leads to Vallie’s phone rattling on my bedside table next to her. I grab it and sleepily ignore the call out of habit.

In my still half-sleep state, I don’t want to be anywhere else besides where my body was curled up against her. I return to my spot with my arm around the brunette, tugging her closer. Her scent fills my nostrils when I nuzzle into her neck. The smell of her hair is peppermint-y and the scent on her skin reminds me of marshmallows and… matcha?

Whatever it is, it’s warm, cozy, and smells so yummy it makes me want to eat her again.

Before I have the pleasure of manifesting that thought into reality, her phone goes off vibrating again, this time making me significantly more aggravated.

I snatch the phone looking at her caller ID – the name plastered across the screen:

Christian

with some emojis I’m far too sleepy to decipher.

Christian?

I decide not to ignore her phone call from an evidently urgent caller.

“Hey, Hey.” I gently nudge her shoulder. “Your phone has been going off.”

She lets out a sleepy groan that is probably the cutest noise I’ve ever heard.

She takes one look at the ID and immediately ignores it and shoves it under the pillow.

Odd.

She yawns and rubs her eye, “What time is it?”

“I’m not sure.” I try to look at the edges of my window covered with blackout curtains trying to gauge even the time of day. “You have your phone, check it?”

Her fingers tap against the mattress. “It’s not that important.”

“Who’s Christian?” I blurt out without thinking.

From the angle I’m at, I can see her eyes widen a bit at the question.

She clears her throat. “What?”

“The person who kept calling you. It was someone named Christian?”

“Oh um,” She bites down on my lip, seemingly contemplating her answer. “He’s a friend.”

I’m filled with a feeling I’m not sure I enjoy nor one I should be feeling.

“A friend?” I ask, unconvinced.

It’s none of my business. It doesn’t matter who he is.

“Yeah, a friend.” She scrunches her brows at the wall. “Why do you care who’s calling me?”

“I-I don’t.” I reply but I know I’m a shit liar and I probably don’t sound very convinced. “I was just wondering.”

“Right.” She yawns then gets up in a panic like she just realized where she is. “Oh my god we fell asleep.”

“Yeah…I figured you gathered that by now.” I said falling down flat beside her.

“Fuck Nick, how am I gonna get out of here?” She scrambles for her phone beneath the pillow to finally check the time. “Fuck, fuck, I have to leave.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. Let me just check out the house, I can take you to get your car.” I pull myself out of bed and let myself stretch out my arms above my head.

“Fuck.” She mutters, readjusting her entire torso in her tight top. “Remind me to never sleep in a corset ever again. I need to get out of this, can I borrow something?”

Her attention lands on me and at first, her forest greens are inquisitive and calm but when she actually looks at me, they widen. Her eyes slowly trail down my body and land where my shirt hangs above the exposed skin of my hips.

Watching her tongue slide between her lips makes my heart thump in my ear drums so loud I can barely hear what she’s saying.

“Also, can you um,” She clears her throat and looks back up at me, “Help me get this off?”

“Sure.” I nod and drop my arms back down.

She shifts in the bed so the zipper in the back of the faux-corset faces me. My fingers delicately gather her dark chocolate locks and drape them over her shoulder to get them out of my way. Her tan skin curves so beautifully from her neck to her shoulder that I feel as though if I don’t kiss her there it would somehow be insulting.

The need to kiss her there feels as necessary as air, so lean down and press a hesitant kiss to the crook of her neck as I begin unzipping her top.

She doesn’t stop me, which I was sure she would stop me now in the daylight.

Another kiss up, I linger more there.

Then another in the same spot, then another, and another, and another – until I am fully peppering her skin with open mouth kisses and my hands roam her curves.

She lets out little noises the closer I get to her ear that remind me of the ones she gave me when my tongue was inside her.

It’s not until I’m nipping and sucking at her skin that she speaks.

“Nick…” She whines in a tone that says ‘you know better’.

I tug down the rest of her zipper.

My lips still lazily drag up her neck.

I hum against her and let my hands wander down her sides to her hips. “Let me make you feel good.”

She lets out a shuddered whine but not a red or green light.

My hands round her hips giving them a gentle back and forth rub, “I need to taste you again.” I press another kiss against the sensitive skin below her ear and I can feel goosebumps erupt all over her skin.

My fingers burn everywhere they meet her skin and beg to be everywhere they shouldn’t be.

She closes her eyes and lets herself breathe for a second.

“Nicholas.” She repeats, more sternly this time. “I have to leave before anyone sees me.”

“I know.” I say simply and pull away, strategically resting both hands over my semi.

I know I shouldn’t press more. I know shouldn’t try to convince more. But god do I want to. All I’m thinking about is fucking her senseless.

She keeps a hand on the front of the corset to keep it flush on her skin. “Could I please borrow something?” She reminds me of her original request.

“Oh yeah sure, sorry.” I quickly scan the room for the closest item.

I spot a barely worn Deftones shirt and hand it to her.

“Thanks.”

She just sort of stares at me then makes a ‘turn-around’ motion with her hand.

“Oh, sorry.” I shift away from her. “It’s not like it’s anything I haven’t seen before.”

“Shut up.”

I hear her let out a sigh of relief, probably from finally being freed from the constricting top.

“Okay you can turn around now.”

I turn back to her and find what I expected: her in my shirt.

What I didn’t expect was to somehow find her even more attractive in my shirt than even a lace corset.

As much as I’d like for her to stay, I fear that if I don’t get her out now, I’ll devour her whole.

“I’ll just… go scope out the area.” I thumb over my shoulder towards the door.

“Good idea.” She nods.

I very quietly sneak out of my room into the empty hallway, gently closing the bedroom door behind me.

After tiptoeing around the house, I find everyone asleep as it seems still quite early, at least for them.

The drive back to the bar is quiet and somewhat awkward. I’m not sure if it’s because of what we did or if I crossed some sort of invisible line and made her upset.

Or maybe both,

Maybe neither.

Maybe I’m over thinking it.

We haven’t talked about anything, no rules, no boundaries. I don’t know how I would bring that up to begin with. What the hell are we doing? And how do I feel about it. How do I want to feel about it?

We say goodbye and it’s stiff and odd. I’m not sure if I should kiss her? Or treat her like my colleague?

Maybe both,

Maybe neither.

That one feels more like a maybe neither.

The way she acted this morning makes me think that whatever… this is, is over.

I know it should be done, but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to stop. At least not yet. Maybe if I got one more fix.

Regardless how I feel about it, it was a mistake. I knew that the first time, I knew it last night and I know it now.

Why did I let this happen. How did I let this happen?

I tap my fingers anxiously against the steering wheel once I’ve parked at home.

I know Folio wouldn’t really care but if Noah or Jolly found out about this?

Oh my god.

I don’t even want to think about what would happen.

All I know is two things.

One, I can’t keep fucking thinking about this – I can’t keep thinking about her.

Two, I unfortunately know what I need to do when I walk back through our front door.

-VALLIE-

As soon as my car door shuts behind me, I let out a long sigh that I wasn’t aware I was holding.

I fold my arms around my steering wheel and rest my forehead against it.

“Fuck.”

The entire ride home there was this nausea festering in the pit of my stomach.

I like being with Nicholas.

I like being with Nicholas too much.

And this stupid fucking Deftones shirt is too comfortable and smells too much like him – and I like it more than I should. And I need to get home as soon as possible to get it off me.

This is absolutely the last thing I needed – catching feelings or whatever the fuck is filling my chest with butterflies from someone I’m representing.

This is the band that I shouldn’t have even taken on in the first place, and now I’m here on the verge of vomiting because I miss the way his bed feels. This was not the plan.

I shake my head from the the thoughts as I walk through my front door. It’s just the dickmatization talking. That’s it. I like his dick and that’s all.

His huge fucking…

No.

And god his fucking tongue...

No.

This absolutely cannot be happening.

I won’t let this happen.

I need to nip this in the bud before it goes any further.

I chuck my phone and keys on my dresser and use my palms to lean against the edge.

An abrupt buzzing of my iPhone against the hard wood shocks me from my dissociation.

Christian

…could be exactly what I need.

I slide the answer bar across the screen and bring the phone to my ear.

“Hey Kras.” I smile, using his nickname.

“Val!” He chimes cheerfully on the other line. “I’ve been trying to get ya all day!”

“I’m busy Kras, you know that.” I roll my eyes playfully. “What’s up, what do you want so badly?”

“Tour ended last week and I’m staying in LA for a bit for some band stuff before I head back home to Sydney.” He pauses. “I wanna see you. I need to talk to you about something.”

I press my lips together and take a deep breath, suddenly stressed about what exactly that meant.

“Okay. When and where do you wanna meet up?”

“Today? My place?”

“Okay, see you then.”

After a much-needed shower I’m finally at the door of his temporary apartment. I smooth out my outfit, which wasn’t much really, just some sweats with a cropped tank. With as long as I’ve known Kras, it didn’t really matter what I looked like, but I still wanted to look cute. I use my hand to flatten my tied up hair to make sure there’s no ridges before I knock on his door. It doesn’t take long for him to answer it.

“Val.” He greets with his signature big goofy smile.

The tall, long-haired blonde envelopes me into giant hug and I embrace it. His scent fills my nose with memories; it’s soft, comforting, and most of all, fun.

Christian and I have always been close, he’s the closest thing I have to a best friend. Our friendship has always been…interesting to say the least. I think most people would consider our dynamic complicated, but to us it’s quite simple.

I give him a good, hard squeeze around his midsection. “Augh, Kras I’ve missed you.”

He reciprocates the squeeze and places a kiss atop my head. “I missed you too.”

I pull away with a smile and smack his arm, “You don’t text me enough! I didn’t even know your tour ended.”

“Me? The phone works both ways Miss ‘You know I’m busy’” He mocks me jokingly.

“God, I forget how strong your Aussie accent is in person.” I chuckle, diverting the conversation.

I shiver at the ice-cold chill I get from his AC and rub my arms for warmth.

“Fuck it’s cold as shit in here.” It’s so frigid even my teeth chatter.

“Yeah, sorry I like it freezing. You want a jacket or something?” He offers then crosses the room when I nod.

He picks through some clothes in an open suitcase and hands me a multicolored flannel. I pull the flannel over my arms letting the material engulf my body.

After a brief catching up about tour and life, I lean against the wall and cross my arms.

“So, what is it you wanted to talk about.” I cut straight to it.

He bites down on his lip, and I can’t tell if he’s excited or nervous.

Maybe both, maybe neither.

“We need a manager.” He blurts out.

“Oh? I thought you were working with-”

“We want you Val.”

I laugh, because surely, he can’t be serious. I don’t belong to an agency and work my two clients freelance, all on my own. There’s no way I could take on another band, especially one as successful as Chase on top of the other two.

“What? No, no, I absolutely couldn’t manage you guys…”

He steps towards me and trails his fingers down my arms and hooks onto my hands. “Sure you can. You used to, remember?”

I shake my head, “Oh, you know that doesn’t count Christian. We were nobodies – you were nobodies. Of course I could manage your measly little 10,000 Instagram followers.”

He squeezes my hands and tugs on my arms. “C’mon Val. It’ll be like the good old days. It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t know about you, but living in a tiny LA apartment with three men struggling to afford food wasn’t really that good or fun.”

He rolls his eyes and tugs on my arms again. “For old times’ sake?”

I shake my head, “No, no, I already have enough on my plate. I just took on another band not that long ago.”

“Please Val, for us?” His brows curve up, and he gives me the biggest hazel puppy dog eyes that he knows I can’t say no to. “For me?”

I groan and rest my head back against the wall. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

His hands leave mine and find their way to my hips, slipping under the flannel so his hands are holding onto bare skin between my tank and my sweats. His forehead presses against mine.

“Is there anything I can do to help change that answer?” He asks between the small space separating us while his finger traces my jaw line tilting my chin up a bit.

I tug at my lip – this is partially why I came here right? To nip my Nick problem in the bud, to break the dickmatization spell.

“I don’t know, maybe.” I tease up at him with round eyes.

“Hm.” He hums and leans in, pressing a kiss to my lips and I freeze.

Even though we’ve done this a million times before, it just feels wrong now. Nicholas and I aren’t even… anything, we’re just fucking, right? But it still feels odd.

I know this feeling.

And I know what it means.

Fuck.

I pull away and give a little head shake.

“Plum?” He asks using our code word for when we’re interested in or dating someone else.

I groan loudly, shuffle past him to his bed in the studio apartment and dramatically fall flat, face down onto it. Then let out an even louder, longer groan.

He walks over and gently sits criss-cross on the bed next to me.

“Must be a pretty good Plum to have you like this.”

Our friendship was simple. We’re the rare example that a friends-with-benefits can be truly, purely platonic and casual. Kras is a generally affectionate guy, even with his bandmates. And he is one of the only people I feel comfortable being affectionate with, so I let myself be affectionate with him.

We are platonically affectionate best friends who fuck when we’re single. It sounds impossible but it’s who we are and who we have been for almost 10 years.

It’s nice, cozy, and convenient. Easy.

He’s safe, familiar, and reliable.

Which is more than I can say for any friendship or relationship I’ve ever had.

I turn my head towards him still flat against the bed.

“It’s bad Kras.”

“How bad?”

I chew on my bottom lip. “I work with him.”

His eyes widen. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes.”

“…In the band you were talking about?”

I turn back to hide my face in his duvet. “Oh yeah.”

“Val noooo.”

I chuckle at how his ‘no’s sound like ‘naaauur’s.

“I knooow.” I whine into the sheets.

“Singer?”

I shake my head against the duvet.

“Guitarist?”

“Bassist.” I reply muffled in bedding.

“Oof.”

A laugh escapes me at his reaction. I pop my head up at him, “Stop, I know.”

I pull myself up and cross the bed to sit next to him and lay my head on his shoulder.

“Maybe I just really like his dick.” I state confidently staring out the large window across the room. I blankly watch the daytime city lights flicker across the highrise-littered skyline.

“You think so?” He asks looking down at me a little. “I’ve never seen you get like this over just good dick. You’re pretty cut and dry about like…emotions. You’re good at separating sex from feelings.” He laughs and nudges me. “That’s why we work so well.”

I groan and hide my face in his shoulder because I know he’s right. He’s always right when it comes to shit like this.

“He sang to me Kras.”

“Oh god…was he any good?”

I feel my cheeks heat up and I nod against his arm, “It was so pretty.”

He laughs and tickles my side, “Look at you! You’re smitten! I never thought I’d see the day.”

I grab the nearest pillow and smack him with it, “Shut up!” then fall back flat and cover my face with it.

There’s a silence between us for a bit, a million things running through my mind, but Kras speaks for me.

“You know you can’t love him, right?” He says gently.

My brows furrow immediately, I slam the pillow down and shoot straight up.

“WHOA, whoa whoa.” I cut through the air with my hand. “Nobody ever said anything about…the L word. I do not…love him.” I can barely get the word out as if it’s something forbidden. “I barely fucking know him. I just like his dick.”

“Okay, okay.” He raises his hands in defense. “You can’t like him. You know that right?”

“I don’t even know if I like him. We’re just fucking. That’s all.”

He glares at me with a face that screams, ‘yeah right’. “Well, fine, you know you can’t keep fucking him.”

I let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, I know. I thought coming here to fuck you would help.”

He laughs then tapers off in thought.

“Maybe we don’t actually have to fuck in order to help.” He suggests.

I raise a brow at him, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean… guys normally don’t just sing to girls they’re casually hooking up with.”

“Okay…?” I motion for him to keep going.

“So, if it comes up or anything, you could just lie.” He shrugs.

“Lie about what?”

“About like, fucking someone else. If he likes you enough to sing to you, he probably won’t be happy if you tell him you’re fucking someone else. So, he’ll stop trying to fuck you.”

I chew on my thumbnail in thought, he’s right. Like always.

“Maybe. I don’t really know if he’d even care. We never really talking about anything… I thought we just had a silent agreement about just fucking, he never said anything about-”

“He sang to you Val.”

I anxiously twirl the ends of my ponytail and chew on my bottom lip. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

He gives me the most ‘are you for real’ glare.

“Okay, okay.” I deflate. “IF it comes up, I’ll mention something.”

“Just don’t say who I am. I don’t know him, he could beat my ass." He laughs. "Plus, it would be pretty awkward for him to find out that you’re fucking a hot guitarist from your other band.” He smirks cheekily.

“Shut up.” I elbow his side playfully, “I never said yes.”

“But you will.”

I chew on my lip thinking it over.

On one hand, I’m already insanely busy and overworked with the two artists I’m already managing.

On the other hand, as odd as they are, they are old and close friends of mine. It wouldn’t be like managing strangers or learning a whole new fanbase, I helped build the foundation of the one they have now back in 2014.

And it would be a good distraction.

If this plan works out with Nick, maybe I could move on from Plum status and I can actually focus on my job.

“Fine. I’ll do it. BUT,” I hold a finger pointed towards him menacingly, “ONLY temporarily.”

“Ah yes! I knew you would!” He exclaims, wrapping his arms around me and tackling me to the bed, pressing various ‘thank you’ kisses to my cheek.

“Okay, okay enough.” I chuckle trying to escape his grasp.

-NICHOLAS-

I let a long sigh at the bottom of the stairs, shifting my weight between both feet. I tap my fingers on the wooden railing anxiously. I probably shouldn’t be this rattled over something I’ve done a million times before. But it doesn’t get any easier.

I push myself up the stairs in one driving force knowing that it has to be me. It’s always me.

Never Folio. Never Jolly.

It’s always been my job.

There’s no response when I knock on Noah’s bedroom door.

I knock again, no answer.

So, I let myself in.

As expected, Noah’s passed out with a fresh bottle of whiskey half drank on his nightstand. His room still in as much filth as it’s been for a while. For as long as I’ve known him, I’ve only ever seen his room even remotely messy a handful of times, and this is the worst I’ve ever seen it. In the past I’ve known the reasons behind the mess or the drinking – usually over a breakup or some depression spell – but this time he kept me in the dark. I have no fucking clue what's going on with him.

If I wasn’t so aggravated with him already, the mess of the room would worry me even more than I already am.

I cross the threshold of garbage between the door and his bed and pat his cheek awake.

“Noah.”

Sleepy snores tumble from his mouth and while one might find them endearing, right now, they’re pissing me the fuck off.

“Noah.” I say more sternly, nudging him more. No luck.

I try various other ways, and nothing works. He’s out cold.

So, I try a tried-and-true classic.

I climb on top of him and straddle his waist over the duvet, one knee at each side of his hips. His boney exposed shoulders offer a great anchor so I grab them, shaking him awake.

He comes-to slowly, droopy heavy lids struggling to open. His fist goes to rub his tired eye but winces when he’s reminded of the swollen black and blue that surrounds it.

“The fuck are you doing?” He groans, stealing a pillow from beside him to cover his face. “Get off of me.”

I snatch the pillow from his grasp and toss it across the room. “No. You’re going to get up. You’re going to shower. And I’m taking you to a meeting.”

He shields his eyes with his arm. “I’m-I’m fine Nick, don’t need a meeting.” His words slurring together.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” I correct.

“I don’t need a meeting.” He hiccups and I can smell the alcohol radiating off him, seeping through his skin. “I’m not going. I'm just gonna sleep.”

I grab his wrists, pin them to the bed and get low to his face. “Oh you’re going. We’re gonna sober you up, starting with a shower.” I pull off him and stand beside the bed.

“Let’s go. C’mon.”

“No.”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either way has the same result. Let’s go.”

“No.”

I sigh, even though I knew it would end up like this. “Fine. Hard way it is.”

I yank the sheets off him and use two arms to scoop up his body by his midsection and throw him over my shoulder. He’s thin enough to where even I can lift and carry him easily – or maybe I’ve just gotten used to the weight of him in my arms.

“Nick let me fucking go.” He whines but doesn’t try to wiggle out of my grasp, probably too hungover to move that much.

With every bit of my strength, I carry his thin body to his guest bathroom.

I all but toss him into the shower, start the water, and fling the curtain closed.

“Hey! What the fuck!” He yells and shuts off the water immediately.

He slings the curtain open and snatches a towel off the nearest rack, wrapping it around his shirtless torso.

“What the fuck is your problem, Nicholas!” His hands frantically wipe the water from his face.

I let out a frustrated groan and turn to leave. "Stop being a baby."

He steps out of the tub and calls after me, “Hey, I’m not fucking done talking to you!”

The shower shock did exactly what I needed it to do, sober him up, but now I regret even waking him up.

“My problem is that you’re a fucking drunk Noah.” I snap turning back to him.

“I’m not a fucking drunk, I have it under control. You’re just fucking paranoid!” He steps into the hallway dripping water all over the carpet.

“I’m not fucking paranoid, Noah. I’m not letting you drink yourself to oblivion.”

His brows lift in offense, “Let me? What the fuck are you, my fucking keeper?”

“Sometimes it sure fucking feels like I am!” The words escape me before I can stop them.

He chuckles in disbelief, “Well, nobody fucking asked you to be.”

“It doesn’t matter if anyone asked me to, I have to because who the fuck else is gonna pick your sorry, bruised ass off a bar floor in the middle of the fucking day?” My hand helps exaggerate each word.

“Jolly or Folio would’ve.” He sasses, crossing his arms.

“Oh yeah? And how long you think they’d put up with that?” I step closer to him. “Not for as long as I have, that’s for fucking sure.”

His eyes scrunch together like he’s hurt or offended.

Maybe both,

Maybe neither.

“I won’t let you push out everyone in our lives Noah.”

His eyes land on me and he cocks his head to the right a bit like a dog processing a foreign noise.

“‘Push out everyone in our lives’ is that what this is actually about? Alice?”

My gaze locks on him and my hands curl into tight fists at my sides. There are many words I want to say but none seem able to leave my tongue.

“Oh my god. You can’t be serious.” He steps back and points defensively at me. "I didn't push her out, you did!"

My blood boils and burns as it courses through my veins. My eyes narrow at him.

“I know you fucked her Noah.” I shove my finger so hard into his chest that it nearly knocks him back.

“I didn’t even like her Nick! Why the fuck would I fuck her?” He immediately denies.

“Because you always have to have everything you want, including the things that aren’t yours.”

“‘Things’” He scoffs. “Funny how you’re so upset about someone you only see as a thing.”

My teeth grind so hard it makes my jaw clench, “You know she was never a thing to me until you fucked her.”

“Oh, give it a break Nicholas! Stop blaming me for her leaving.” His hands exaggerate his words then points straight at me. “You are the reason your relationship failed. You are the reason she left.”

My eyes narrow as I step closer to his soaked body. “I would really watch what you fucking say if I were you.”

“Or what?” He asks but I have no answer. “When are you going to stop punishing me for something I never fucking did?”

I watch his eyes: dark brown, heavy, bloodshot, and one lined with a dark bruise from the bar fight. His words sound genuine, but I know his eyes, I know them like the back of my hand.

I know when he’s lying, and he’s lying to me right now. I can’t prove it, I haven’t been able to, but I know he’s been lying to me for the past year.

“For the love of god Noah, can you just stop fucking lying?” I snap. "You don't even have enough respect for me to tell me the truth?"

“Wow.” He presses his lips together for a moment. “You must think so low of me to really believe that I would do something like that.”

“I don’t have to think low of you to believe the truth.” I hiss, stepping towards him. “But you’re going to keep denying it so it’s irrelevant what I believe did or didn’t happen. What I do know, is that you have a fucking problem, and you need help.”

He steps towards me with low brows and narrow beady eyes, “I didn’t fuck Alice and I don’t need a fucking alcohol anonymous meeting just because I still like to get drunk sometimes. I am a fucking adult, and I don’t need you to ‘save me’.” He scoffs and runs his tongue across his teeth. “You know? Maybe that’s what actually drove Alice away, you and your fucking high-and-mighty, savior complex bullshit.”

Every inch of skin on my body feels like its burning and my heart races so loud I can barely even think clearly. I tighten my fists so tight that my nails dig into my palms painfully. I know that if I do anything, it will make me look like the villain.

“I can’t fucking hit you because if I do, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.” I growl lowly. “Get sober or don’t, I don’t fucking care anymore – but we have a chance, a real chance at making it now and if you ruin this for us Noah, I will never fucking forgive you. Do you understand me? I will fucking destroy you if you fuck this up for us.”

His brows curve up and he looks at me like I’m insane for insinuating that he would. “I won’t.” He replies through gritted teeth.

I glance over the railing when I hear the house beginning to stir with Jolly and Folio starting to wake up, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I don’t need them getting involved.

“Just,” I lower my voice between us. “Make it to rehearsals, meetings, shows – the rest I don’t give a fuck. Just make it to work. Sober.”

“Fine.” He says quickly, "If that will keep you out of my fucking business and leave me the fuck alone."

"Fine."

"Fine." He repeats, because of course he has to have the last word, before storming off to his room and slamming the door behind him.

I mirror him, making it to my room and slamming the door.

Once alone, the feeling that courses through my body is nauseating, painful and overwhelming. It is a visceral ache, I feel it twisting in my chest first, in my ribs, then flows and pools in the pit of my stomach.

I thought I moved on from the Alice situation. I tried to force myself to believe him, I tried to forget and push it so far down that it wouldn’t hurt. Tried to rationalize, maybe he didn’t sleep with her. Maybe he didn’t betray me. Maybe it really is just me projecting the weaknesses of our relationship onto him. But no matter how hard I push it down, it always bubbles back up.

And in my gut, I know he did it. Everything adds up, the timelines, the behavior, all of it.

I was just never prepared for a girlfriend to cheat on me with my best friend. I was never prepared to have him sleep with my girlfriend. Not after everything we’ve been through.

I was never prepared to have my heart broken by the two people I trusted and loved more than anything in my life.

In retrospect, I guess, I should’ve expected it. For as long as I can remember Noah always had girls fawning all over him. He always had that lead singer charm even though he never planned on being a frontman. Girls were never an issue for him, he seemed to get anyone he ever wanted.

Is it really that far-fetched that the one I had wanted him too?

Is that all that this is going to be from now on? Any girl the rest of us want, would just want Noah first?

I never pictured that this would be our future.

I never pictured my best friend of over a decade fucking my girlfriend then lying about it to my face.

I never pictured having to drag said lying, alcoholic best friend out of bed trying to get him to an AA meeting just so he could be sober enough for rehearsals.

I never imagined that out of the four of us, it would be me having to hold it all together. I never signed up for that. I signed up to play an instrument, to sign CDs, sleep in busses and sit in interviews. I never signed up to play manager, I never signed up to secretly scrape Noah off bar floors, be his personal caretaker and tentative AA sponsor. Doing all of that just to have it thrown in my face, to stand next to him – every day in rehearsals, in photoshoots, on stage, across the fucking dining table – knowing what he did and pretending that I’m okay with it.

I never thought I’d feel stuck in this band, this thing Noah and I have worked on and dreamed about since we were 15. I’ve poured so much of my life into this fucking band.

I can’t just up and leave. I’d have nothing left. I’d be nothing without them and I can’t be the bomb to blow us up. Especially not now when everything is just starting to take off. All this work would’ve been for nothing.

It’s not just my livelihood and dream, but theirs as well. I can’t do that to them.

And as much as I want to, as much as I’ve tried, I can’t leave Noah. We both know I’m right whether he wants to admit it or not. Nobody else would do what I do, nobody knows what I do, and nobody knows how to take care of him the way I do. He’s stubborn and stupid and won’t let anyone else in the way he’s let me in.

I don’t know why I’m the only one who has gotten the curse of his trust, but I have it and I can’t hand it off or set it down – no matter how heavy or suffocating it is.

Next Chapter -> 11 - Peak Fashion

tag list; @ladyveronikawrites @kingdomof-omens @persuasivus @strawberryruffilo @thebadchic @the-hell-i-overcame @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @cncohshit @dominuslunae [comment if you'd like to be tagged?]

A/N: The love for this story has honestly been so overwhelming (in a good way obv) and I couldn't be more grateful. I really thought this would flop lol so, thank you so much for every like, reblog, ask, or comment. It means the world to me truly. Thank you.

i love hearing your thoughts so feel free to share! (i'm really bad at responding to comments/asks but i still love them 🥺)

#2 POVs bc i was feeling SILLY #& by silly i mean the characters were not cooperating with the assignment #sorry if this chapter is all over the place i was having so much trouble with this one #this is the first time i’ve ever had multiple POVs in one chapter & i can’t tell if i like it or not #vallie wears princess by kilian perfume #i love how vallie's character is developing #i think vallie & kras' friendship came out so cute 😭#nicholas ruffilo fanfic #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fanfic #noah sebastian fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo fanfiction #nick ruffilo fanfic #nick ruffilo fanfiction #nicholas ruffilo x oc #nick ruffilo x oc #nicholas ruffilo x fem!oc #bad omens x oc #noah sebastian x oc #noah sebastian x fem!oc #virality series #virality #christian anthony #christian kras anthony #christian anthony fanfic #kras anthony fanfic #chase atlantic #chase atlantic fanfic #concreteburialplot works

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soulofapatrick · 1 year

Text

Country Step - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Ellie and Tommy help Y/N reignite that southern cowboy in Joel during a ‘Jackson Cowboy Night’ ( I literally had a thought about Joel and Tommy line dancing)

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: make out (?) can cowboys be a warning

Joel’s POV

It’s Friday which means the barn is lit up and full of people dancing and letting loose to music that is thumping through the building. I’m not a fan of these things but Tommy and Maria insisted I came, a suspicious amount but then again it was a good excuse to catch up with them having missed so many years with my baby brother. It’s why I’m currently sat in the booth, swirling a beer as most of the teenagers and young adults are on the dance floor, having the time of their life but I don’t see Ellie anywhere. I can’t find Y/N either but that’s not as surprising because she’s so shy and-

I’m choking on my beer when Ellie enters the barn, dragging a barely recognisable Y/N. Y/N’s wearing extremely tight jeans that show off her curves while she’s only got a flannel on her top half, the flannel tied right under her chest. Her hair is falling around her shoulders in manufactured waves, her hair usually being deadly straight and she looks gorgeous. She looks like she belongs in a country movie and it dawns on me why Tommy was so persistent for me to come tonight: it’s cowboy night as he calls it.

The pair join us and I try to keep my eyes to myself but oh fucking hell this is going to be difficult. She’s like a wet dream and I want to leap over the table and eat her up. Ever since I met Y/N while trying to get Ellie to the fireflies I’ve had feelings for her but it’s only recently I’ve been realising they’re not bad feelings. They’re dangerous, feelings like love are a weakness and no one can have weaknesses in this day and age.

The familiar tune that is Footloose has Y/N’s head flying up, glancing at Tommy before her eyes search for someone in the bustling barn. They light up and she’s grinning bigger than I’ve ever seen her when she catches Chai’s eyes and he’s sending her an equally big grin.

“Gimme your hat cowboy.” She’s snatching the cowboy hat Tommy insisted on wearing, placing on her head as she meets Chai on the dance floor. Ellie; Dina and Jesse seem to understand what’s happening and makes people back up, giving the pair space. Oh fuck, I think my jaw hits the floor when the pair begin to dance. That quiet and reserved young woman I’ve travelled with for over a year now is swinging and rolling her hips in moves that is very much line dancing. Soon enough others are copying the pair and joining in, everyone laughing and just having a great time.

I can’t stop the smile at the sight of Ellie next to Y/N, copying her every move with her head back and laugh escaping her lips. Y/N grabs Ellie’s hand, spinning the girl that has become a daughter figure to us both, causing the latter to shriek with even more laughter as Y/N lets her go and Ellie crashes into Dina.

Y/N’s eyes find mine and she’s beckoning me over with the pull of her finger. I’m shrugging my jacket off and joining her, hands migrating straight for her hips as she gets every step correct. If I didn’t already secretly love her I think this is where I would have fallen because she is not from any state that includes line dancing of any sorts yet here she is. It’s like muscle memory for me and soon enough I’m back in the swing of it, eyes never once leaving her as she grins up at me. There’s that familiar shyness behind the excitement in those forest green eyes as she pulls my hands off her hips and I spin her into my chest. We seem to shift from line dancing in the side step, her back against my chest and my hand on her hip as the song changes to one that I think I remember being called ‘Fake ID’.

Most people leave the dance floor after Footloose ends not knowing the moves without Y/N or Chai to follow. I don’t care because Y/N’s spinning around me, footwork perfect. I have to pull her back into my arms, hands on her waist again, pulling her close, “Do you know what you’re doing to me darling?”

“Absolutely no idea.” She sends me a cheeky grin so I grip her tightly, one hand moving from her waist to the back of her neck as I suddenly dip her as the song ends. She lets out a shriek, hands grabbing my shoulders as if I’d drop her. It’s as if the world slows when I realise just how close our faces are, noses almost brushing. Her chest is glistening with a light sheen of sweat as it rises and falls rapidly. I’m pulling her back up, wanting to kiss her so badly but I don’t want it to be a big thing in front of everyone so I keep her hand tightly in mine as I lead the way back to our booth.

She seems dejected, not understanding why I didn’t kiss her when it was obvious we both wanted it. I stay quiet, sliding into the booth and pulling her onto my lap as there’s no more space with Tommy; Maria; Jesse; Chai; Dina and Ellie already squashed in. Y/N’s breath catches in her throat but she settles, leaning forwards to grab her beer from earlier and I almost let out a moan as her perfectly round ass is pressing into my crotch as if she knows exactly what she’s doing.

“Keep the hat.” Tommy sends Y/N a cheeky smile before going back to talking to Maria while the kids gush to Y/N and Chai how good they are at dancing. I just listen, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her shoulder causing her to relax back against my chest. We stay like that for the rest of the night as the party carries on, the others going up to dance every so often if a song they like comes on.

“Where’d you learn to dance like that?” I ask as I walk her home, the winter air freezing and the lights not doing much to illuminate the streets.

“I may have asked Tommy for a few lessons,” She mumbles and my heart swells, “I wanted to impress you. I love seeing you happy and smiling.”

“I fucking love you.” It slips out and she’s stopping walking, forest eyes wide and full of so many emotions. She doesn’t move when I approach her, cupping her face in my hands and pull her chin up so she catches my lips in a kiss. It seems to snap her out of her shock because her hands are in my hair and on my shoulders, melting into the kiss and pressing herself as close as she possibly can. It’s a sweet and hot kiss, not exactly how I had imagined our first kiss but that doesn’t matter as I can just recreate that idea another day. Right now her body is reacting to ever little move of my hands and my lips and it’s heaven beneath me.

“I love you too.” She gasps out as we pull away for air and all control I have snaps. I’m picking her up by her thighs and slamming her against the nearest wall, groaning as she complies by wrapping her legs around my waist and yanking me into a kiss dirtier than I ever thought she had in her. My scalp twinges with pain but it just adds to the moment, thinking I might be hallucinating because she’s here, kissing me back with just as much heat and want.

I don’t want to do more than just make out at the moment as I have been waiting months to even get this far and I’m not ruining it by rushing her and making her think I want a quick fuck. It means I’m having to pull my lips away from hers, a chuckle rumbling in my chest when she tries to follow my lips with hers. She’s letting her head fall back against the wall, looking utterly ruined with her hair a mess, the hat lost somewhere between here and there and her lips shining and kiss swollen and we haven’t even done anything yet. This woman is going to kill me.

That’s when two figures walk past and I shield Y/N’s body from whoever it is but it’s just Tommy and Maria heading home. Tommy meets my gaze, raising at eyebrow as he catches a glimpse of Y/N.

“Oi! Get a room!”

“Fuck you too Tommy!”

#Joel Miller #Tommy miller #Joel Miller fluff #Joel Miller smut #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller one shot #Joel Miller x y/n #Joel Miller imagine #Joel Miller x you #joel miller fanfic #Joel Miller fanfiction #The Last of Us 2 #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fluff #the last of us smut

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helenaheissner · 2 months

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Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 14

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

Don't forget you can read three chapters ahead on this story, twenty chapters ahead on "A Dream of Summer Rain", and two chapters ahead on "Magical Girl Exorcist Squad", by becoming a paid subscriber on my Substack or my Patreon!

***

Zeke

12 months earlier

I squatted in the Pits, putting the finishing touches on our minibot, Gurren, in preparation for our fight with Team Bottle Rocket in twenty minutes. I was so zoned in on getting all the screws extra tight that I almost missed my phone blaring out a Kendrick Lamar song. I groaned when I saw the caller ID. “Hi, Mom,” I said, attempting to keep the stress and frustration out of my voice. It was better to get whatever ‘conversation’ this was out of the way now- if I tried to put it off and ignore her, she’d just be even more cantankerous about it when we actually got around to it.

“Hellllo, Ezeekielll,” she slurred, her words blending together at the borders of the syllables. Oh, good. “How are you this evening?”

“Uh, a little busy to be honest, Mom,” I said.

“Busy? Busy with what? It’s not like you have a job.”

I breathed in a sharp sigh through my nose. “I do have a job, Mom. It’s just seasonal.”

“Those obnoxious shows you go on don’t count as a-”

“Mom, was there a specific reason you called?” I asked, focusing on keeping the screws tight. “Like I said, I’m a little busy.”

“Too busy to talk to your dear ol’ mum,” she said, her accent starting to slip out. She’d been training herself not to have one ever since she’d moved to the States back when she was a teenager, but sometimes it still flared up. Usually when she’d indulged in one too many Screwdrivers. “That’s a problem, you know- you’ll never get a girlfriend if you hate your own mother.”

“I don’t hate you, Mom,” I said monotone.

“Love the exact phrasing there, Ezekiel. Very gentlemanly.”

The screwdriver, my screwdriver, a literal one, slipped out of my hands. And as I reached down for it, I noticed my breathing- sharp, fast, all inhale and holding my breath, only exhaling when I absolutely needed to. “Thank you, Mother, I try.”

“Don’t you get sarcastic with me, young man- that’s hardly a trait that will do you any favors with the ladies either.”

I reached for the screwdriver on the ground, but my hand trembled when I tried to grip it. It slipped out of my grasp and hit the floor once again. “Look, Mom, my match starts in a few minutes, I really need to finish these repairs on Dai Guren-”

“Oh God, I forgot you gave that stupid thing a name. How asinine.”

Cold, soggy shame dripped off of me, and I let myself inhale and exhale through my mouth.

And of course she kept going: “And that’s another thing- why is it just you doing this? Don’t you have teammates for this nonsense? They don’t appreciate you. If they did, they wouldn’t force you to do all the work-”

“They don’t force me to do all the work, Mom!” I snapped. “And I’m doing these repairs because I’m good at them. They had to go handle other stuff for the match. It’s not actually that complicated, but you refuse to understand!”

A few moments of deafening silence poured out from the other end of the line. “This is clearly not going to be a productive conversation. I think I’m done with you for the evening. I’ll call you back when you’re in a more reasonable headspace.”

“Mom-”

She ended the call before I could get another word out.

It wasn’t quiet in the pits- people were using saws to carve up metal, flames were welding parts together, drills were digging into machinery. All the high-pitched screeches coalesced into a singular plaintive wail.

A tear fell off my chin and shattered on the ground. I tore off my work gloves and wiped my eyes, hoping nobody would see me. I wasn’t much of a crier. No reason to ruin that reputation now, when I had other things to focus on. The bot was ready for the fight, and that was what I had to focus on, not the hollow pit in my chest rapidly filling with anger and resentment and freaking exhaustion-

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

My fingers parted across my visage. I hadn’t even realized my face was buried in my hands. I looked through the gaps to find Calloway there, standing across the narrow middle walkway that ran down the white room. He was standing there in jeans and a black hoodie drawn up over his head, but he pulled it back and shaked out his shaggy brown hair. His eyes always looked… Harsh, angry, aggressive. But not now, not at this moment. Now they looked… Softer. Concerned. And… Genuine, in their concern. I’d gotten pretty good at spotting the difference between genuine concern and artificial; having parents like mine forces you to learn as fast as possible. But right now, here, he…

“I… Just a difficult phone call with my mom,” I said, pulling my hands away from my face entirely, directing my gaze at the floor.

Calloway stepped forward and gave me a hug. I flinched- the guy really had no sense of personal space, but honestly… I needed it, then, so I hugged him back. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

I mumbled, “I guess I just…”

“What?” Calloway asked.

“It’s nothing, it’s…”

“What?” Calloway said, pulling out of the hug and looking me directly in the face, furrowing his brow.

“I’m… Just surprised that you care,” I said.

He gulped and took a step backward, along with a slight bite to his lower lip that ended as soon as it began. “I, uh… Yeah, yeah that’s fair.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“No, you did,” he said, turning his head so he didn’t have to look me in the eyes anymore. “It’s fine. Really, it is. I just… I really must come off like I’m a lot, all the time, huh?”

“I… What do you want me to say here, dude?” I said, taking a step towards him.

He took another step back. “Just the truth. Just… How you really feel.”

I drew in another deep breath. “Yes. You… You do.”

He gulped again. “That… That explains a buncha stuff. I kinda figured people knew I… But I guess they wouldn’t. Fair enough.”

“Look, Calloway-”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a playful wave of his hand, plastering a bogus smile onto his face. “Just means I sell the heel routine well. That’s not a bad thing. And this isn’t really about me- I was asking you what’s wrong. Um… Do you… Do you wanna talk about it?”

My phone alarm hollered inside my pants’ pocket. Ten minutes till the fight. They’d be starting the introductory monologues soon. “I dunno if I have time right now, but… I appreciate it. I really, sincerely do. Maybe… Maybe next time?”

“Next time I catch you crying, tough guy?” he said, the smile edging just a little closer to genuine.

I forced out a little chuckle. “Yeah, I guess so. For now… Can I just get another hug?”

He nodded rapidly. “Of course.”

Then he went in for it and wrapped his arms around my back. And it felt… Good. Supportive. Strong, but not aggressive.

Maybe there was more to Keith Calloway than I thought.

***

NOW

I sprayed some breath spray into my mouth while I paced up and down the hallway of my apartment, my hands wringing together as I tried to keep my mind clear and focused.

I liked Kate. That much was hard to deny. She was bright and funny and passionate, just radiated warmth and empathy, and I felt like I could let my guard down around her in a way I couldn’t around other people. Including Faith.

But I liked Faith. I had for a while now. She was chill and focused and creative, a freaking dancing ray of light that always brightened up my day, who I desperately wanted to protect and take care of.

And they were both incredibly pretty.

Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit what is wrong with me? Just like my jackass of a father, can’t keep it in my pants, can’t be happy with what I have, like a real man is supposed to.

But that didn’t matter. I was going on a date with Katie tonight. I was moving on from Faith, because that was the right thing to do, because she didn’t like me back, because she didn’t swing that way and just wasn’t physically attracted to me. And Kate… She made it really easy to want to move on, and she seemed to really want to be with me, for some unfathomable reason. Holding her in my arms made me feel like the strongest person in the world; the way she’d just slid up to me and put herself there like it was the most natural fit possible… It felt really good. I felt really good around her.

My phone buzzed, and I saw from the caller ID that it was my mom.

My finger loomed over the ‘accept call’ button for a solid minute before the phone simply stopped ringing altogether. Then it immediately started ringing again, because my mom was physically incapable of taking no for an answer.

A spark of anger caught in my chest, burning my insides and sending proverbial smoke out of my ears. Goddammit, I was twenty-three years old, financially self-sufficient, and living in my own place. She did NOT get to keep pulling this crap. She hadn’t reached out to me in months and now, when I had something legitimately important to do, she decided it was the perfect time to interrupt. Couldn’t even be bothered to text first, asking if now was a good time.

I thought about a year ago, and the mess I’d become when my mom called before that match, and Kate, back before I’d known she was Kate, before she’d known she was Kate, before she and I could even call ourselves friends, let alone whatever we were now, had held me and comforted me. Didn’t have to be asked, just offered and did her best to make good on that offer. That was when it had started to dawn on me that underneath it all, she really was a kind person with a big heart.

It was also when it really started to dawn on me that my mom was an absolute bitch. Maybe she wasn’t as unbearable as my dad, but it would be a truly Herculean feat to be anywhere near as unpleasant as that selfish asshole.

I hit ‘ignore.’

I breathed out, slowly and carefully, leaning against the wall. I was emphatically not going to cry right now, because I didn’t want Kate to feel like she had to take care of me tonight. I wanted to take care of her, to show her that yes, she really was the cute, sweet, wonderful girl she was trying to be.

The tumblers of our lock shifted as the front door opened. Faith stepped through, a sad smile on her face. “Heyo,” she said. “Your hot date is downstairs waiting for you. Show her a good time tonight, yeah?”

“Of course,” I nodded, double checking my pockets to make sure I had my phone and wallet. Good to go. “You gonna be okay by yourself tonight?”

She gave an errant wave of her hand and said, “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I can get caught up on my soaps.”

“You watch soap operas?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, old ones from the 1960s, mostly,” she said. “They’re really funny when you’re stoned.”

“Fair enough,” I said. I gave her a quick hug, which she happily accepted. “Don’t wait up for me!”

“Will do!” she said as I made my way out the door.

I headed down the stairs and out front, where Kate’s pickup truck sat in the thin driveway that led into the parking garage below my building. I did a double-take when I saw her, leaning against the front of her truck. She wore a red dress that covered her chest wholesale, but beneath, what looked like boobs protruded from the dress in question. Falsies, presumably- Faith must have loaned her old ones out. Still, it couldn’t be denied that they looked real good on Kate, bringing the whole look together. Her dress had a slit going up the side, showing off her long, smooth legs well up her thick thighs. Bright red lipstick was painted across her mouth, and my whole body was screaming at me to cup her face in my hands and shove my tongue down her throat. So, of course, in my infinite intelligence and articulation, all I managed to choke out was, “Whoa.”

She smiled the kind of smile you want to protect with every fiber of your being. “Like what you see?” Her voice was high and breathy, each syllable enunciated slowly and carefully. She’d only been out for a few days and she’d already come so far. It was astonishing. It was… She was…

“Absolutely beautiful,” I said, unable to blink.

Her jaw dropped, and she stared at me.

Then a car pulled up behind her and honked at us- I recognized one of my neighbors behind the wheel, an older, heavyset woman named Nina.

“C’mon, let’s get going,” Kate said. She gestured me into the truck and then we pulled out of the driveway. “So, where are we going?” she asked.

“Uh, Indian place on Lincoln Boulevard. It’s over by my old college,” I said, trying not to stare at her too much and venture into the dubious territory of ‘creepy weirdo.’

“Sounds good, I love Indian food,” she smiled again.

Kiss her, you idiot, my brain hollered. Wait, no, she’s driving. Bad idea. But kiss her before the end of the night! “How’d the appointment go?”

“Fantastic! I’ll be able to start hormones hopefully by the end of the week!”

“That’s fantastic!” I said. “How’d the other one go?”

She spat out a petulant sigh. “Less good. My sponsor is…”

“Is?”

“Let’s be charitable and go with ‘pragmatic,’” she said, her voice dropping low. She grunted with frustration and her eyes peeled wide as she heard her own words.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said, trying my best to sound reassuring. “I don’t mind if you use your… Other voice.” I managed to stop myself from saying ‘boy voice’ or ‘normal voice.’ Thank God.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “It’s… It’s not that I don’t want you to hear it, it’s that I don’t like hearing it.”

“That’s fair,” I said.

“But yeah, if I want to keep Gaines as my sponsor, I may or may not have to lean into this whole trans thing as part of my ‘brand.’ Ugh, I hate that word. Gag me.”

“Is that a request?” I smirked.

She blushed redder than the Red Comet. “What if it is?”

“Then I’d be happy to accommodate.” What the hell, when did I get this bold?! It must have been my dick talking for me. Made sense- I’d spent… Several years not listening to it. How long had it been since I’d last had sex, anyway? Two years? Three?

Getting ahead of yourself, Underhill. “Do you think you’re gonna stick with Gaines?” I asked.

“Don’t see what choice I have,” she replied as she turned onto Lincoln and started driving west. “I don’t exactly have the capital to self-fund. How do you and Faith raise money, anyway?”

“Uh, a couple ways. Grant from our old college, a loan from Faith’s parents, and the money she and I raise doing temporary engineering jobs during the off-season. Usually like…, four, five months full time work with one of the aerospace companies in the city, then we spend the rest of the year working on the fun stuff.”

“I should probably look into something like that,” Kate said. “I don’t dislike working for my parents, but I’m never gonna make the kind of money I need to keep going in the ‘bot battle circuit working twenty hours a week at an indie retail outlet.”

“I have some contacts at a few places that I can send your way,” I offered. “Might be able to help you get a foot in the door, do some interviews.”

“That… Would be amazing,” she beamed. “You’d really do that for me?”

“‘Course I would,” I said. I want you to keep smiling that smile. “I just… Want you to be happy.”

“Thanks,” she said. “For… Everything.”

“No problem, Katie,” I said.

She giggled. God, her laugh was adorable. So, I said that out loud.

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“You have a cute laugh,” I said simply.

“It’s not cute… I’m not…”

“If you’re about to say you’re not cute, just know that there’s nothing cuter than a cute girl insisting she’s not cute.”

“... Dammit. You’re right.”

“Gotcha,” I said, snapping my fingers.

We carried on like that until we got to the restaurant, where, to my astonishment, we were seated immediately. I ordered a lamb vindaloo with a side of garlic naan, and she ordered butter chicken with onion naan. We split an order of vegetable samosas as well, and we were seated by the window looking out into the street. A pair of candles sat between us on our glass table, casting a bit of glow in the darkened dining area.

“So, you went to that school over there, then?” Kate asked. “LMU?”

“Yeah, all four years.”

“How’d you wind up there?” she asked.

“Uh, well, I applied to UCLA and didn’t get in,” I said with a self-deprecating laugh. “Which is true of, uh, most of the school, actually.”

“They couldn’t get into UCLA?” Kate chuckled.

“Or USC. Or Harvey Mudd. Or Cal Poly.”

“Ahhh, gotcha. You said you grew up around here, right?”

“For a given value,” I said. “I was raised in Riverside.”

“Inland Empire, I see,” she said. “That place as horrifying as David Lynch makes it look?”

I chuckled. “Only when it’s on fire.”

“So, like, all Summer?”

“Pfft, basically.”

“It’s funny, you know, we grew up in the same neck of the woods but never met till we started doing what we do,” Kate said, resting her chin on her hands while her elbows were propped up on the table. “I know that Venice and Riverside aren’t actually that close together-”

“Especially with the traffic in this town making it a longer trek,” I said.

“Still,” she said. “It’s cool, knowing that someone like you was relatively close this whole time.”

Her eyes…

“Zeke?” she asked. “You okay?”

“Hm? Yeah, why?”

“You went quiet and started staring at me,” she said, raising her head, putting her hands flat on the table, concern exuding from her frown. “Did I lay it on too thick?”

I shook my head. “Not at all.” I reached for her hand. “Honestly, I’m worried about doing the same, so why don’t we just be ourselves tonight, and see how that works for us?”

“I’d like that,” she smiled again. That smile…

The server, a middle-aged Indian man with pot-belly and an impressive beard, brought our samosas and a few different sauces over and set them between us. And with him came, very unexpectedly, some familiar faces.

“Zeke?” Olivia asked. She was flanked by her new teammates, Tom, a medium-height black man in his late twenties with a shaved head and massive hands, and Winston, a white boy with a wild mane of brown hair who looked like he was still in college. And standing next to them were Team Forest Fire and Team Sparky-Sparky-Boom. Forest Fire was three guys all in their thirties, each of them shredded and rocking full beards. Their captain, Lance Masterson, was a behemoth of a white man with a shaved head and some burn marks on his arms and neck; his teammates were Jake George, a tall black man with long dreads and nose ring, and Evan Hernandez, a shorter Mexican-American man built like a powerlifter. Team Spark-Sparky-Boom, meanwhile, was two people, a husband and wife team called David and Eileen Portman. David was comfortably in his early forties, hair more salt than pepper, clean shaven and thin as a rail; Eileen looked like she was in her late thirties, and was shorter and thicker, with long brown hair beginning to spark with silver.

A low-pitched groan escaped my throat, and I was surprised at how loud it was, only to look over and see that Kate was making roughly the same mouth-noise.

“H-h-hey,” I eventually choked out. “How y’all doing?”

“Not bad,” Masterson said.

“Not bad at all!” Hernandez said, snapping his fingers and pointing at Kate.

She blushed, then looked down at her food.

“So, this must be Kate,” Olivia said.

“Um, how do you know about-”

“Faith told me.”

“Faith told you what?” I said, my eyes narrow.

“Oh, just that you’d finally found a girl for you… Wait a sec. Wait wait wait a second. Calloway? Is that you under all that makeup?”

My eyes bulged with panic, and I saw Kate’s lips trembling and her hands wringing together. Oh, this was bad- she wasn’t ready to come out to everyone at work yet, she’d said as much to me in the car ride. She’d been planning to come out in two weeks when she had her next fight, with the same kind of surprise announcement that Faith had been afforded.

And now… Now she was having to come out to her work rivals by accident. For the third time in two weeks.

Goddammit.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice dropping low. Then, in her higher, breathier voice, she said, “Yes. It’s me. My preferred name is Kate, pronouns are she/her.”

Olivia’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh, so you’re a trans too?” Mrs. Portman said.

I died inside a little bit.

“I, uh, yeah. I’m a trans woman,” Kate said.

“Wow, two of you in the tournament this year, huh? What are the odds?” Mrs. Portman said. “And this isn’t a publicity stunt?”

“Dear, hush, that’s rude,” Mr. Portman said, playfully swatting his wife on the arm, blissfully unaware of the psychic damage he and his wife had just inflicted on Kate.

“No,” Kate said, eyes dropping low, fingers drumming nervously on the table. Oooohhhh dear. “I’m just… I’m a woman.”

“Hey, listen, it’s nice to see you all, but Kate and I were just trying to have a nice, quiet dinner,” I said. “Alone. As in just the two of us-”

“That’s fine, broseph,” Masterson said, “We can all take that big table outside, leave you two to your date.”

“I’d appreciate that a lot,” I nodded, putting a metric ton of emphasis behind each syllable.

“As would I,” Kate said. Practically squeaked. Must… Protect… At all costs.

“No problem, brosephine,” Masterson said. “You look great, bee-tea-dubs.”

They all cleared out and headed for the massive rectangular longtable outside… Except Olivia, who remained standing exactly where she was in front of us with her brow creased and her hands on her hips and her jaw slack.

“Uh, Olivia, you coming with?” Tom asked while standing in the doorway, with an ‘aw shit here we go again’ expression on his face.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” Olivia said.

Tom sighed and let the door close as he stepped outside. You tried, Tom. You tried.

“Can, uh, I help you with something?” I said, trying not to get too distressed by Kate’s thousand-yard stare. Given that she’d only a few days prior called out and challenged Olivia in front of a screaming crowd while on camera and then immediately proceeded to have a massive panic attack… I didn’t like what this was almost certainly doing to her brain.

“I just… When Faith said you’d found someone, this wasn’t what I expected,” Olivia said. “Does she… She knows who Kate really is, right?”

“Yeah, she does,” I said, creasing my own brow, “Why do you ask?”

“I just… I really just… Calloway? Seriously?! Calloway?!” Olivia said. “Of all freaking people, you choose Calloway over Faith?!”

“I’m sitting right here, you know,” Kate said.

“R-right. Sorry, I… You look nice,” Olivia said.

“Thanks,” Kate said. “Just, uh, quick question: why do you care?”

“Because I care about Faith,” Olivia said.

“Right, sure you do,” Kate said. “You care so much about the girl you brutally dumped in the most vulnerable moment of her life. Right. Definitely. Absolutely.”

“Also, why would Faith care?” I said, attempting to navigate the conversation away from Kate’s (admittedly accurate) criticism of Olivia. “She and Kate have patched things up- they’re friends now.”

“Really?” Olivia said.

“Yes, really,” Kate said. “She and I hung out literally all day today. She helped me pick out this dress, helped me with my voice. She and I are fine. And she’s fine with this.”

“Oh, honey,” Olivia said. “You don’t… Really believe that. Do you?”

Kate blinked, and her eyes went low again.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“It means-”

“Don’t,” Kate said, slamming her hand against the table.

Olivia took a step back. “Right. Sorry. It’s… Look, Zeke, I know you and I were never super close, but I gotta ask- is Faith really completely on board with all this?”

“Yes! Why wouldn’t she be?” Did someone slip me a crazy-pill? What the hell was going on?!

“I just… Can’t believe you would choose Ke… Kate over Faith,” Olivia said.

“It’s not a choice,” I said, grabbing Kate’s hand and squeezing it tightly, a fire lighting inside my head. “I like Kate. She’s a beautiful woman, inside and out.”

“Phrasing,” Kate said in a thirsty whisper, eyebrows raised.

“Babe, not now,” I said.

“Babe?” she said with a bright smile.

“Babe? Wow,” Olivia said. “This is… A lot to accept, tbh.”

“And why, exactly, do you get a say?” I said.

“I-”

“That was a rhetorical question,” I said. “You don’t. At all.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll back off,” Olivia said, holding up her hands, palms flat. “I just… Can’t help but think you’re making a mistake. You and Faith would be cute together, that’s all I’m saying.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I growled.

“You would be,” Kate whispered.

“What?” I said. Seriously, WHAT?!

“Backing away now,” Olivia said. “I’m sorry for saying anything- you’re right, it’s really none of my business. But, uh, Calloway? I still remember what you said last Friday. I’ll see you in the battle box.”

And with that, she walked away. My head spun with confusion and anger at the implications of what she said, the insinuations, the freaking hubris. And on top of it all, Kate looked ready to cry again.

Our waiter finally came over with our food on a tray and set it down, but looked at us with a worried expression. “Would you two like this to go, by any chance?”

“Yes, please,” Kate and I said simultaneously.

We waited till the food was put in takeaway boxes, and we made a hasty departure. I was pretty sure I heard Mrs. Portman shouting something at us as we walked out the front door, but I wasn’t sure what. “Where should we take all this?” Kate asked.

“I have one idea, if you’re up for it,” I said, with a grin I hoped would be the first step to salvaging this evening.

We headed for Dockweiler Beach, only a few miles from the restaurant, basically deserted in the waning hours of the evening before it was closed to the public. Waves lapped against the sand in a steady, drawling rhythm, and the rich, relaxing scent of seawater filled the air. We sat on a blanket Kate kept in her truck, eating our food while watching the tide crashing into the shore and the setting sun casting an orange-gold glow over everything. Kate had tied her hair back while we ate, but loose strands kept blowing about from the seabreeze and colliding with her face.

I reached over and brushed a strand back, and she smiled at me. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I’m, uh, sorry about what happened.”

“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault,” she said. “Honestly, you handled it really well. Way better than I would have in your position.”

“And what position is that?”

“The guy’s. You’re… You’re a really good guy, Zeke Underhill,” she said, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

I laughed in spite of myself. “That’s nice of you to say. I… I’m not really used to hearing it,” I admitted, slumping my shoulders.

“I find that hard to believe. You’re such a gentleman.”

“I… The thing is,” I started. Oh boy, I was about to admit this to her. This was big. I rarely talked about this. Not even with Faith. “... My parents… Are not the types to give out praise often, and a lot of it had to do with them thinking I wasn’t living up to their expectations of what a man was supposed to be. My Mom… Well, she’s English, she’s got all these old-fashioned, old-world ideas about men and women. She sent me to my room when I cried at a movie once when I was seven. My dad wasn’t much better- kind of a rough and tumble man’s man type. When I didn’t make my high school’s basketball team in ninth grade, he reamed me out for half an hour straight. Never mind the fact that I was short and fat back then. Which they both reminded me of constantly.”

“Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry,” Kate said, putting down her food and placing her hand on my shoulder. I gave it a squeeze. She continued, “My parents have always been so chill and supportive. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to… To grow up with that instead of what I had.”

“Thanks,” I said. “Honestly, I’m mostly over it at this point. I moved out for college when I was eighteen and never looked back. The only thing that really still gets to me is how hypocritical they were about everything. My dad… He’s a total pig, cheats on my mom constantly, and Mom just drinks to forget it every time the proof is thrown in her face. They’re both so full of shit, but I still… I still have this fear sometimes, that they’re right, that I’m not good enough, that there’s something I’m doing wrong, that…”

“That?”

“... That I’ll be a cheater like my dad, constantly balancing multiple girls, stringing along someone I’m supposed to be committed to. I think… I think that’s what bugged me about what Olivia was insinuating, like I was somehow being disloyal to Faith. Which is ridiculous, because… I… And she doesn’t even… And I’m not-”

“Not what?” Kate said, wrapping her arms around me.

“I’m not with her. I probably won’t ever be with her,” I said.

“... You really like her, don’t you?”

“... I’m not sure you want me to answer that question, Katie.”

“You already have,” she said. “It’s kinda obvious.”

“I… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kate said, nuzzling my shoulder. “You’re allowed to like more than one person at the same time. And you’ve liked her for a while, I’m not surprised I’m…”

“You’re what?”

“... Second prize.”

“You’re not,” I said, turning around and putting my hands on her cheeks. “Listen to me, Kate Calloway. I recognize we’ve only just started really getting to know each other, but in that time, you’ve shown yourself to be… Amazing. Caring. Funny and thoughtful. Beautiful. I… I don’t know if I deserve you, but I’d like… To keep seeing you like this. To get to know you better, and to hold your hand while you go on this journey.”

Tears streamed out her eyes, and she bit her lower lip before saying, “Would you… Would you still say that if Faith liked you back?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I scoffed. “Faith is gay.”

“...”

I blinked. “Faith is gay, right?”

“I…,” Kate stammered, pulling out of my hands. “I’ve said too much.”

I blinked one long, sustained blink as the gears turned in my head. Faith… Wasn’t gay? And she… It… This made it seem like…

Like she…

No.

Just, just… No.

There was a beautiful girl who I liked in front of me, and I wasn’t gonna let her slip away. “You’re fine. And even if she did, it wouldn’t matter.”

“You… You really mean that?”

“She’s not here with me right now, on this beach, sharing this meal, this evening,” I said. “Life moves forward, not back. If Faith really liked me, she should have said something. You, though, you said something. You made the first move, and… God, I’ve had to do that myself so many times, only for it to fall apart. Do you have any idea how good it makes me feel, that you like me enough to be the one to push things forward? How special that makes me feel? Because it’s amazing… You make me feel… Amazing, Kate.”

She looked at me with those big blue eyes, shining in the multicolored light of dusk as the sun set over the horizon, her red lips spread wide, hope and astonishment and joy radiating out of every inch of her. She gulped, and then she grabbed my lapel and said, “I’m gonna push things forward again now. Is that okay?”

I didn’t answer. I just went for it, pressing her lips against mine, melting into her as we made out on the beach while the sun finished setting. My heart was alight with ecstasy, my lust burning at maximum temperature. I didn’t know for sure if I liked her more than I liked Faith. I just knew that in that moment, there was nobody I’d rather be with, nobody I’d rather be kissing, nobody I’d rather be getting to know.

For just one moment, everything was crystal clear.

“You really had to ask?” I said as I pressed my forehead against hers, reveling in her aftertaste.

She smiled. Oh, Lord, that smile. “I just had to make sure.”

We carried on like that for a while longer, her hands touching mine, my lips touching hers, our bodies interlocking.

#original fiction #serial fiction #trans woman #trans protagonist #web novel #wlw #bisexual #polycule #polyamory #love triangle #enemies to friends to lovers #first date #romcom #romance

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fr1ed-mi1k · 18 days

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I saw your post on the Kansas and Florida laws and it’s absolutely awful that they are doing this! I did reply in the comments but I don’t think they published so I’m just gonna tell you here. As you mentioned that you can’t get a VPN, I recommend Proton’s free one. You do have to make an account on their website but you don’t need any ID, just an email and then download the app and sign into it there. And you have unlimited internet access again:) Do tell me if you need anymore help. I suggest downloading a VPN asap before the new law comes in on July 1st (although hopefully somehow it won’t pass because it is so awful!). I know what you’re going through as my country just passed a law which will ban Ao3 (my lifeline literally I am on there 24/7) and require ID to sign up to literally any website even to read Wikipedia! Hopefully, you can move out of Kansas for college or something? (Provided KOSA doesn’t pass!)

Thank you so much for the suggestion! When July Gets closer I will try to convince my family to get me one and I will definitely try that! Sadly I am not old enough to move out to different states yet and I’m sorry for the ban on AO3 in your country hopefully kosa will get knock out of the government and so will the state laws. But I will consider your suggestion! Thank you!

#stop kosa #education #kansas city kansas #lgbtq #stop censorship #usa news #kosa

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cosmicdream222 · 2 months

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sorry to be morbid again but do you think we can manifest passing away early? im honestly past the point of wanting to exist and just want to get over this thing that im supposed to be a successful person but im not so idrc if i do or dont live

so many ppl on tarot related blogs ask about their fs but if we dont meet them does it matter and would they just move on with their life? like i think u have to have ur life put together but its genuinely so hard to do these days so i hope my fs wont be sad at all when i die cause i wouldnt be able to make tnem truly happy anyway cause im not happy myself with how things have been

ideally i wouldve done something in a sport or music but that ship sailed long ago and now im so stuck but id hate to be reliant on someone else and i shouldve moved out into my own place but housing is ridiculously expensive where im from and taxes dont help anyone. it takes years and years to pick up a talent so i have wasted those years and ik im just going to struggle to get past 50 if i were to have my own place bc minimum wage jobs suck arse and i dont want to be doinng something lame not that its lame for others to do it, its just not what i wanted to have done at all

you cant even get a degree without needing to fork out hundreds and thousands so yeah none of its easy and sure you can try subliminals but lets face it the systemn we are in is fucked up big time so rn i cant even bother with daydream about how it could have been or the what ifs i had done smth differently or if i had any talent but then theres still the, im too old and too foreign to do any sort of music as most successful groups nowadays are korean and even if i tried to do what they did it would probs end up killing me some way or other

its just either about having to be wealthy or having some type of talent both of which id fail at anyway as i shouldve done it years ago like a normal person who goes from being so so at something to being great at something.

i truly think i was born in wrong generation or i just shouldnt have been born at all then i wouldnt have to fret constantly abt these types of things. i think if the government genuinely sorted shit out for once and helped society ppl would be happier to work for less but im not happy at all with the current state of things. i feel guilty for existing and i hate it sm like god just let me end my life pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee there is nothing worthwhile in store, ik we could try shifting subliminals but have those genuinely worked? like u exit this reality and straight into the one you wanted originally? but then i might as well just pass away cause id have to know what i want in another reality

My dude, take a deep breath. You’ve ranted about all this same exact stuff a bunch of times now and I’m just gonna repeat the same thing I said to you last time:

All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter.

I’ll add to that: Whatever some tarot reader or TikTok psychic says definitely does not matter. Idk what fs means but I’m guessing something like a twin flame and that is especially 1000% bullshit.

The spiritual community has created an incredible amount of false narratives to make excuses and blame outside forces for why things aren’t going their way. None of it is real. Seriously forget everything you learned about fate, karma, astrology, or anything else that’s saying something else is in control. Reality is an illusion. YOU are in control.

You don’t have to identify with any old bullshit anymore. Stop repeating the old story and think about what you do want. You can have literally ANYTHING! You say you don’t know what you want, ok, but you know what you don’t want, right?

I don’t want to work -> I want to live in a reality where I don’t have to work.

There, you just figured out something you want! It’s that simple.

I totally agree that this society is a horrific shitshow and I don’t want to be aware of it anymore either. But it’s just one version of reality available. It’s not the only reality and it’s not the original reality. You don’t have to be aware of it anymore if you don’t want to be.

You also don’t have to involve death at all. There’s a lot of misconception in the shifting world which has lead to concepts like “permashifting” and “respawning”, but those just all assume this current reality is the original one. It’s not.

Have you watched The Matrix? It’s really more like a documentary than science fiction lol. Just like in the movie, we are being tricked by a simulated virtual reality, controlled by a society that’s using us for our energy. Just think of reality as an escape room. We’re escaping the Matrix. Once you figure out how to leave, you don’t ever have to go back. There are infinite realities available to you, and none are more real or right or original than any others. Remember, death is not an ultimate, nor does it exist in all realities.

I am scripting a utopian reality with my best friend where there is no death, aging, or illness. Everyone is a master manifestor so they always get whatever they want. Nobody has to work and there isn’t even a need for money because we can manifest anything instantly. We can just relax and get massages all day. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and abundance. Animals are treated as equals to humans, we can all communicate with each other, and we can all fly and teleport. Because why the f not? 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

And if you really don’t want to exist (I’m guessing that other ask from a couple weeks ago is you too lol) you don’t have to exist in this reality, or any other. Removing your awareness from all physical reality is known as entering the void. You exist there as pure consciousness, and you can stay there as long as you like. It is you as your highest self. There’s nothing negative about it.

As for the whole subliminal thing, shifting subliminals are just one method. Shifting = manifesting = deciding what you want and experiencing it. It’s something we are always doing and is available to all of us. You don’t need any methods to shift besides intention. We just use methods to convince/calm the annoying human brain that is programmed with society’s limits.

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xamaxenta · 6 months

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HEY IM NEW so I’m not sure if this message will fit into the general vibe of this blog but: thoughts on? sabo regaining memories earlier and acesabo meeting after ace joins WBP, and they basically have this long distance relationship where they keep writing letters to each other and ace’s absolutely unfathomable with how distracted he is/how much he talks about sabo/how he just ends up zoning out and staring off into the horizon with a stupid smile on his face and sometimes sabo comes to visit — and marco takes pity on them that the two of them have to manage in ace’s small bunk (also probably in a shared room) so he offers them to use his room or the infirmary — basically the place where usually works? bc he’s like it’s just a couple of days, and they obviously missed each other so they’d have an opportunity to catch up etc etc except what he doesn’t take into consideration is that acesabo would fully take advantage of that offer. and marco can’t even get his reports/paperwork bc no matter how much he tries to plan ahead to not disturb them, he just. somehow always ends up walking in on them. engaged in all sorts of physical activities. involving various states of undress. and yeah of course they’re young and dumb and horny as fuck so it could’ve been predicted — but Marco actually has work piling up? until one evening ace walks up to him with sabo in tow and offers in return that they could make it up to him for lending them his room? OR an alternate solution where Marco gets annoyed eventually and yeah they had their time but he has to work too so he gets in there anyway, tries to ignore them to focus on filling his reports, while acesabo try their best to distract him/make him join them instead of doing boring paperwork

Hey anon welcome to the bone zone im xam and i love MAS 👍🏽 Ace is my absolute favourite but Marco and Sabo are literally close behind at 1.5, luffys maybe number 2?

This ask fits too perfectly into the aesthetic of this blog do not worry

Id add my own thoughts but what can i add? Except tarnish the perfection?

Absolutely adore the concept of Ace and Sabo trying to lure/distract/entice Marco into joining them :3c

They totally seduce him ALSO THE COMedy of marco consistently walking jn on them LSNFBBS good shit

#marcos like ace have you seen— sabo balls deep #another time #walks in hey sabo wheres ace— sees Ace balls deep—#jfbdbd #sorry #MAS

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hollowknightinsanity · 6 months

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baby. fuck you

[Image ID: A black sketch of an infant bug, curled up on the ground with its eyes closed, drawn on a dull pink background. There is an arrow pointing at the child’s head with text that says, “Full of leaf”. /End ID]

This is Somber, the newborn child of Holly and my self-insert, who i still haven’t made.

Said self-insert is a silkworm moth, and I’m thinking of making him half-wyrm, but I’m not sure if I’ll actually do that

Anyway, logistics and uh. Lore ig? Under the cut

Ok, so. In my AUs, Holly (THK) is a hybrid between a Rootkin (White Lady’s species) and a Wyrm (Pale King’s species). Rootkin are strictly an egg-laying species, but Wyrms are capable of both laying eggs and giving live birth — it mostly depends on the environment/subspecies the Wyrm belongs to.

PK is part of the subspecies that gives live birth, but using his Soul magic, he’s capable of fertilizing eggs from laying species, such as Rootkin and Weavers, hence Hornet and the Vessels.

Holly takes after their mother — this is true across all my AUs — and as such, they adopted her reproductive system, so they lay eggs.

They had a condition that caused them to begin producing and laying eggs early, and started laying when they were 14. Now, this sucked for them in various ways; for one, early egg production and laying is very painful, and considering the state of their (mostly missing) organs, their pain was amplified tenfold when they started.

Secondly, if their parents found their eggs, they would immediately be outed as impure, and they did not want that. At the time, they thought that if they were outed, their parents would literally kill them — which isn’t true, by the way, but they had no way of knowing that — so they kept it a secret.

Initially, Holly attempted to just hide the eggs, but after a while, they started worrying about the hiding place being found, so they began destroying the eggs instead.

They laid once every two months, and every egg they laid was broken and thrown out. What exactly they did I’m unsure of, but I feel like they’d crack the eggs into some type of disposal area they made/found, and crush the shells into dust.

Anyway, they destroyed all the eggs they laid, except for one.

When they were 16, about a week before their sealing, they started thinking. They thought maybe, if they did get out alive, if they did escape the Black Egg, then maybe they could have a family. Keep the Pale King’s legacy going. They knew he was poisoned with Void and destined to die, so they thought that maybe if they survived, they could keep Hallownest alive by birthing an heir.

So, they took the last egg, and made a nest in the Queen’s Gardens, where they decided they would hide it, and they placed two Seals of Binding on it to protect it in case the nest were found by the Mantis Traitors.

The egg and nest were very well hidden, though, so nobody ever found it. Holly was sealed, and that was that.

Decades later, after escaping the Black Egg (which they heavily doubted they would, but hey, a bug can hope), they and my self-insert (who I’ll just call K here, I’m still trying to figure out a name for him) met and started a QPR. They ended up getting very close in their relationship, and Holly decided to carry out their plan from when they were 16. Though, instead of wanting to continue Hallownest as a kingdom, they just wanted a family.

At some point, after Holly gets quote-unquote “outed” to PK about their impurity (he knew since they were 10, but they didn’t know that), they ask K to come with them to the Gardens, as they had something important they wanted to speak to him about in private.

Some conversation happens, and Holly shows him the nest and tells him that they want to start a family. Because I need to be super self-indulgent when it comes to my writing sometimes, he of course agrees, and the 60-year-old binding-protected egg is fertilized, and later hatches into the itty bitty baby in the sketch, who Holly named Somber.

Google’s definition of somber is “oppressively solemn or sober in mood; grave,” and I believe that would fit the AU perfectly, so the child is named Somber.

For an in-universe explanation for the name, Holly would name their child after themself, I think. According to Google, a similar word to somber is solemn, which could mean either “not cheerful or smiling; serious” or “characterized by deep sincerity,” which both fit their life to a T.

As for when exactly this takes place, all I’m sure of is it happens after they out themself to PK. Maybe it’s somewhere around the same time the rain oneshot happens, or maybe a bit before or after — I’m not sure. It’s just around that timeframe.

Anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk, I will now sink into the fuckin. Swamps of Sadness from The Neverending Story.

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esotheria-sims · 1 year

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Sims Tag

Got tagged by the fabulous @deedee-sims - thank you! 🤗 Throwing in a random in-game pic because I can.

1. What’s your favourite sims death?

Hum, tough one. I guess being struck by lighting is pretty cool, not that I get to see it that often. Also being hit by a satellite, but I’ve literally never seen it happen in my game unless I cheat.

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Alpha, obviously. Although I prefer to call my style ‘semi-realistic’.

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

I used to, but now I’m like, nah. Let those sims have some meat on their bones!

4. Do you use move objects?

All the time, bruh.

5. Favorite mod?

If I only had to pick one, then Gunmod’s radiance lighting. Picked based on the fact that it’s always the first mod I get whenever I have to reinstall.

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

I think it was Nightlife? But my PC from back then was so weak that I couldn’t get the EP to work at all, save for a couple outfits that were randomly showing up in CAS.

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

Been pronouncing it ‘aLive mode’ ever since I started simming. I never even knew there was a debate about it until I saw a post on simblr some years ago.

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

What, just one? D: I have a bunch of faves, and you can probably tell who they are by the fact that they crop up in every new iteration of my game.

9. Have you made a simself?

Never, nor do I plan to! Having a sim version of myself in the game would just feel weird.

10. What sim traits do you give yourself?

I don’t know them all by heart and I’m too lazy to google 'em, so pass. xD

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color?

I wouldn’t say that I necessarily have a favorite, but I noticed a lot of my sims tend to have black hair.

12. Favorite EA hair?

Imma go with hairshortcombed solely based on the fact that I don’t have a burning urge to replace it the second I see it in my game.

13. Favorite life stage?

Adults, duh. And teens. They’re pretty fun too.

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I do a bit of everything, but I definitely lean more towards gameplay, especially since starting my BaCC.

15. Are you a CC creator?

Yep! Got my own cc tag and everything! 🙂

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?

I want to think so! ^^

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4)

Sims 2 all the way, babey!

18. Do you have any sims merch?

Nah

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims?

Nah

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I think it’s gotten more consistent? I’ve been trying to find a balance between realistic and cartoony cc to maintain that elusive ‘semi-realistic’ look that I’m so fond of, and I like to think that I have a pretty good grasp on it now, after so many years of simming.

21. What’s your Origin ID?

Never had one, lol.

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator?

One favorite cc creator? BRUH. I have a 10GB downloads folder, and you better believe every creator whose cc is in there is my favorite! 🤣

23. How long have you had a simblr?

11 years! Golly, has it really been that long?

24. How do you edit your pictures?

By offering a blood sacrifice on a full moon. Nah, kidding. No blood is spilled during my editing process, though it does feel that way sometimes, considering how effin' long it takes me to iron out all the small kinks that annoy me about my screenshots. I kinda hoped having a dedicated photoshop action would help, but it only speeds up the process so much, unfortunately. :(

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

For Sims 2? Dunno man. Maybe a higher-res remake with all existing EPs/SPs and all known issues ironed out. Which is probably never gonna happen, but a girl can dream, right?

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?

I’m partial to Apartment Life because it introduced witches, one of my favorite supernatural life states!

I’m tagging: @blackswan-sims @eleysims @episims @rudhira @ho3sferatu @analog-mothman @nervosims @frauhupfner @mrs-mquve-cc and @gphoenixsims! But feel free to ignore! ^^

#tag meme #meme #sims 2 #ts2 #sims #bacc #wyverns bay extras #wb townies #charlie o'donnel #mine

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lateraniansweets · 4 months

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I mean if you want to write on the pregnancy I’m interested in hearing your thoughts, I guess I went a little too dramatic in trying to come up with an idea lol

HELP (totally understandable)

i think the way amuro would react to the news mainly depends on two things. how long the two of you have been together and if we're talking about zeta or cca amuro just because of the state he's in mentally in both iterations.

for cca amuro we have the non-canon (?) beltorchika's children novels that i love and hate as a good benchmark on his reaction tbh. wether or not you guys have been in a long term relationship doesn't matter because he'll take responsibility so he won't walk out on you (but axis will make him buy milk). in terms of like the relationship between the two of you having an already established relationship matters. he'd take responsibility which in this case can be child support to full-on marrying you (the things id do to marry amuro ray tbh) even if he doesn't really want to because to quote BC novel amuro 'it's not like i have a choice' which makes me lean on the idea that he'll marry you for the baby as that's his idea of taking responsibility.

for zeta amuro i just have one question. how?????????????? like in between joining karaba and his house arrest schtick did he have the chance to get laid and have a baby.

okay but seriously giving zeta amuro the weight of incoming fatherhood will make things worse for him. he was miserable and dealing with sm trauma from the OYW and adding a child into the mix is just terrible. i don't think you or him would be happy in this situation with amuro's inner turmoil and the constant stress/danger that he/both of you would be in during the gryps conflict.

overall i dont think amuro's the type of actively want a child and dreads the idea of being a father. personally i think parenthood would just make him more of an internal mess even if its the better adjusted cca amuro so yeah.

i like to think that in the surprise baby situation because im a sucker for sweet moments its in a timeline/au where amuro is actually given the time and support system during zeta where he isn't constantly getting called a coward for not wanting to fight or go to space because of magic newtype PTSD.

in this timeline i think he'd still have a certain degree of apprehension to the situation but would cope with it better and wouldn't straight up ghost you for 4-5 business days to let the whole thing settle in like i think cca and zeta would. like i said in cca he'd take responsibility but there wouldn't be any sort of driving force where marriage (if you guys aren't already) becomes the go-to ie char saw a dinosaur documentary during his quarter life crisis and decided to replicate it. or literally just his life during zeta. i think without that rush or push for marriage would do him good and help settle him for fatherhood.

anyways tldr; amuro has a lot going on in his life becoming a soon to be dad has a good chance of making things worse for him even if he doesn't realise it.

#gundam x reader #amuro ray x reader #amuro ray #i kinda wanna write smthn about this tbh #imagine crip shopping with this man #I NEED TO BE SEDATED WHEN IT OEMS TO HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #amuro is like a turduken of isssues #but i wouldn't have him in any other way #gundam #^asks #sorry main gundam tag im losing it

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caius-hhhhhh · 20 days

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Intro + Faq + infodumping about my gender

Ahoy! I’m Caius, I post a horrible amalgamation of Vox content, trans and sex positivity (trans sex positivity), disability rights, cats, and things that make me laugh. My blog is a safe space for me, the rest of you are in danger I think

sexuality: pansexual (this means your gender! <3) allo/allo — I know I have a sizeable number of a-spec followers, so I just want to flag that I am not one of you, but a) you deserve the world, and b) I’ll punch anyone that thinks otherwise

gender: Domgender. In trans terms, I’m multiflux with preference. In cis terms, I experience three gender identities — a masculine one, a feminine one, and an agender one (I think of the agender identity as being a gender, just a gender that is ungendered; I know this isn’t the same experience for other agender people) — but they fluctuate in their intensity and overlap with one another every day. But one identity, the masculine one, tends to dominate over the others: it happens more frequently, it tends to be more intense, and I feel a stronger attachment to my masculinity than my femininity or agenderness. This puts me in between a couple of categories. I’m both genderfluid and transmasculine. I’m happy to be referred to as such. I don’t consider myself nonbinary, even though my gender is quite literally not binary. My gender shifts from both random chance and specific stimuli. The reason why I wake up one day and feel like a demiboy? Couldn’t tell you. Why my femininity puffs its chest out when someone says something misogynistic? VERY deliberate.

pronouns: he/him. I’ve tried using multiple pronouns and it’s not really for me. I’m not on HRT, so I have to fight so hard to be called he on the regular, so when someone does gender me correctly, it gives me euphoria even when I’m not feeling particularly masculine on that day. To be super technical (the best kind of technical), when I’m very strongly agendered I actually like using an em-dash (—) as a pronoun. “Caius has a blog where — doesn’t differentiate between —s fandom posts and philosophy posts”. This is very fun in theory, but in practice, a) it’s quite statistically rare for me to feel very strongly agendered on a particular day, and b) when I am I am so not likely to tell others about it. So it’s a footnote but not something I expect, or want, people to do in practice. To reiterate: I use one set of pronouns. Don’t call me they.

physically disabled: no mentally disabled: yes intellectually disabled: basically the opposite, honestly

what’s OCPD?: Try wikipedia. Explaining my disorder upsets me. Please take the initiative to inform yourself about personality disorders, their effects on the individual, and the way they’re stigmatised. I rarely have the emotional energy to educate you about myself.

location: not the united states

age: xx.xx.2000. I have an embarrassing zodiac sign, you’re not getting it out of me

day job: scholar. It’s broadly possible to determine more specific details from what I post, but I will not answer direct questions about my major or research interest because academia deliberately makes it easy to identify people based on that information. If you genuinely, seriously, and wholeheartedly want details? I’d need a picture of your student ID.

politics: From the river to the sea. I do not make politics, calls to action, petitions, and donations a prominent feature of my blog. I post information that I did not know, want others to know, or find particularly pertinent on an infrequent basis. I would encourage you to find other sources of more frequent and more up-to-date information elsewhere. I am a white settler living on stolen Indigenous land. I make every effort to educate myself on the ways in which our white supremacist society unfairly targets people of colour, and to alter the way I, as a person who benefits from white supremacy, behave and speak about race.

fandoms: Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss; Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard (no Kane Chronicles, sorry) I tend to remain stationary within a fandom for a long period of time. I’m likely not going anywhere, but I’ll probably add more to this list than subtract from it. I post vague snatchings of other fandoms, but nothing particularly saturated. I don’t actually read Warrior Cats anymore i just watch moonkitti videos

other socials: just AO3

is your blog 18+?: strictly speaking, I do not reblog posts that contain explicit sexual content. Many people I follow do. Please mind the bios of people I’m reblogging from. I do talk about sex as a concept. I acknowledge that it exists. I make jokes about its existence. We gain nothing as a society from shaming and shielding people from the existence of sex, and casual references towards it are an essential part of undoing the christian impulses that force us to view sex as an evil or morally unthinkable action. This is not the same as posting porn on main. Which I do not.

are minors welcome on your blog?: as above. I think teenagers and adults can and should be encouraged to communicate with one another in a healthy and appropriate manner. In fact, it is vital that teenagers have a healthy and diverse support network of adults in their lives, and it is a problem if they do not have access to that. Yes: teenagers and older children should be educated about internet safety and what an inappropriate interaction with an adult looks like. Yes: adults should not be disgusting. In my own particular case, people under 20 are welcome to follow. I am not your friend, and I will not become so. But I am happy to offer you advice, if you are trans, gay, disabled, or unsure of how university works.

why are anon asks off?: I’m a trans person on the internet. It’s funny, really, the way that leaving your name on something tends to dissuade most people from saying something revolting.

why don’t you capitalise things?: depression. It started out that way, anyway, where moving my finger to hit the caps lock was just too much effort; but rhetorically, there’s a different tone of voice in which you read i versus I. I like that. I think it’s juicy. I don’t capitalise proper nouns or names like america, christianity, or white to show disrespect. Yes this also bleeds into the uncapitalised “i”: I’d never not capitalise the names of people I respect!

why’d you spell capitalize like “capitalise”?: there’s this cool thing that languages have, it’s called a dialect

how does your tagging system work?: it doesn’t! I’ll probably go through the two fucking thousand posts I have and sort them when I’m in the mood to make a list but don’t hold your breath. I put things on my blog like stickers, they go together spiritually not materially I do sometimes post pictures of spiders. Please block the tag #spiders. If you’d prefer a different or more unique tag, please let me know. It’s not at all a fuss my art is tagged #original work (regrettably). Probably subject to change

can we be friends?: sure. I check the blogs of everyone who shows up in my notes, so if I follow you it means I like you. Likespam, ask, reblog, message, I don’t care. If you’re trans I’ve probably already imagined our wedding

can we flirt with you?: If you’re over 20. You have to do it off anon though

how do you pronounce “caius”?: ˈkʌɪəs. [ʌɪ is like “rye”, əs like “us”.]

how do you pronounce the hhhhhh?: an exasperated aspiration. like “ughhhhhh” but without the gutteral G. A heavy, heavy sigh. It’s six Hs, by the way.

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