#I’m much more interested in their dynamic ugh

[ghostlycleric]

I’ve been thinking about byler a lot recently, and I’m bored, so heres the main reasons why they’re my favorite ship (in no particular order). (Disclaimer: this is not an analysis, just pure opinion.)

1. Their Chemistry/Dynamic - I feel like I don’t really need to explain this much. In a very opinionated, not analytical stance, their overall vibe is just amazing. This is because of all the things I’ll list below, but when you’re not thinking analytically the chemistry is still obvious. This is what made me want to analyze their relationship in the first place.

2. The natural slowburn of it all - Love at first sight is one of my least favorite tropes of all time. I also don’t like slow burns when their entire thing is embodying the trope of a slow burn, if that makes any sense. To me, Byler is in that just right zone where they feel more natural than they do tropey. Their get together and everything in between will feel natural to me.

3. The cinematography - Byler scenes just LOOK AMAZING. The coloring and everything just always eats. They match! (And when they don’t its during fight scenes!) Their scenes look so comfortable, especially in season 2. I don’t know how to explain it.

4. Actually good arcs - They both have individual arcs. They don’t feel like one was made as a love interest and nothing more. Both are involved in the actual plot of the show, and their romantic plotline feels like its actually being used to get their arcs somewhere or to develop a theme. They feel like they’re worth my time.

5. They’re not THAT obvious - I love having subtext to analyze and things to speculate about. I like that it’s not totally a given that they’ll get together, and that their build up was gradual. I tend to lose interest once a relationship is established.

6. It’s a mutual and uplifting relationship - The way they have a CRAP TON of heart to hearts throughout the show where they’re supporting one another unconditionally??? Mike staying by Will’s side when he’s POSSESSED. Will helping Mike with his and El’s relationship even though he’s IN LOVE WITH HIM. The way their romantic relationship places a lot of value on their friendships (Will being mad at Mike for drifting from the party) and lives outside of one another. The way they’re not afraid to call eachother out or apologize. Their value of honesty and the breaking of it for the better of the other (Will’s monologue). The way Mike’s a better person when he’s with Will. Mike making Will feel like he’s better for being different. They’re exactly what eachother are looking for. Ugh I could go on forever.

There’s more to it, but I think this covers most of it. My brain may be rotting, but at least the ship is actually good.

[darcytaylor]

Hi there, I stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad I did! I really enjoyed reading your deep dives. I agree with a previous commenter; your posts have been articulate, understanding and compassionate while also being on the nose with your critiques. With all the heightened emotions right now, thank you for keeping things calm while also being able to explain your take on everything - it’s been very interesting to read! I’ve been desperately trying to find other posts/people that have similar vibes because this whole… situation-ship has been a bit much. I have to admit I learned a lot about Luke from your deep dives, mostly because I wasn’t really paying much attention to him until the press coverage started in earnest earlier this year. And I’m not entirely sure what to make of him now; it was very eye opening and gave me plenty to think about. I genuinely liked him up until this all happened, and I think I still do, but my god, has he (and his team) created a mess for himself. Some thoughts, in no discernible order: 

Saying he was most like his character/Colin. I 1000000000% agree with you here! I think that’s why it was so jarring when people found out about the (not so secret, I now realize) gf. “Colin as a character made them feel seen. They couldn't separate Luke from Colin because he kept saying he was like Colin” Ugh, that’s some heartbreak right there. 

I also feel very strongly about the age thing, and I’m heartened to hear I’m not alone in this. The age gap would be one thing for a “normal, everyday couple,” but I agree when there’s also a power dynamic involved, it just makes me feel even more uneasy. Then you add in his comments about how he remembers being in his early 20s…

His social media is a fucking mess. Someone else needs to take control ASAP. Especially if he claims he was moving it into a more professional direction. JFC, there are literal professional who get paid to do this; hire them.

I agree that he should be booked for, like, the next 2 years from this point, and that’s a huge mistake that he isn’t. He can’t just seriously think he can fuck off to Fashion Week and this will all blow over, right? Right!?!?

I think we can all agree that Nicola is fucking perfection. 

(Can you tell I have a comms background? Everything about how all of this has been (mis)handled has made me want to cry, scream and throw up - and not in the funny meme way. But seriously, how can his team bungle all of this SO POORLY???) Anyway, I have a lot more thoughts but I’m now worried I’ve flooded your ask box. Thanks for humoring me!

Thank you for taking the time to read all of the deep dives and your kind words!

The whole situation has been wild to look at from the outside. I could see so much hate going around from all sides and felt that maybe if I put everything together, people could look at the situation with clear eyes.

I think that Luke still has the potential to go places in his career and hopefully the situation that he has found himself in will help him. You know the saying "sometimes you have to hit rock bottom", this could be that for Luke.

[yeyayeya]

I don’t see enough Feng Xin x Jian Lan content and it makes me sad

[luffyvace]

Luffy x Vice Captain of the Strawhats!

Reader: gn

I thought this was a interesting topic and I haven’t seen it anywhere so I’m gonna do it!

your definitely gonna have to keep the strawhats alive bc Luffy is always almost killing you all 😊

btw let’s say you joined before Zoro 👯‍♀️

you probably take a lot of stress off Nami

and you can probably deal with Luffy’s antics the best

depends on your personality 🤷‍♀️

either way if you don’t come up with the plans Nami does

and now that I realize it you may or may not cause just as much chaos as Luffy!

again, depends on your personality

If your just as crazy as he is the crew is gonna go insane

especially nami

”LUFFY ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU ALMOST GOT US ALL KILLED!!”

”but we’re still alive tho! 😁”

”UGH! DON’T YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS?! CONTROL OUR CAPTAIN!!”

”well he’s right tho! And it was fun! 👍”

💥💥 😑✊ 😞😓

you know the sequence 🤪

you and Luffy either goof off like usopp, him and chopper, your dynamic is like robin and Luffy, Luffy and Nami or Luffy and Zoro

thats pretty the crew’s relationship with Luffy categorized and your in whichever based off your personality 😋

if your serious and carefree your gonna be just fine 👌

If your serious and cowardly/intelligent your gonna be driven up a wall

and if your silly and cowardly your gonna be both! 😁🤷‍♀️💃

honestly I think these hcs are gonna be short bc Luffy treats his nakama equally really, so I’ll leave you to envision the rest LOL!

I actually might add more to this later when I get more ideas but for now I’mma sccadatle

💃

-Brook ☠️🏴‍☠️

[alwaysxlarrie]

a harry is louis’ baby fic masterlist by yours truly

if you’ve talked to me for ~2 mins, you know i’m a big harry is louis’ baby stan™️ & therefore, couldn’t end 2022 without making a faves/recommendation list for the trope, especially given my harry is louis’ baby fic fest lol (sign up for it here if you’d like!). i don't want this to be 84 feet long, so i’ve limited myself to ~50 fics & since i have many praises to give, in lieu of summaries, i put why i love each fic. sorry for another long list but also not really? LMAO :’)

adore you by @isthatyoularry / isthatyoularry

louis does literally everything he can do to make harry feel safe, comfortable, and happy with him. he’s so smitten immediately. the character & relationship development is so wonderful. there’s some hefty doses of angst, but they’re definitely evened out by fluff.

a+ for effort by @harryventura / embro

this fic is sososo cute. just endless fluff, crushing, fond, protective louis, poor harry trying his best. ugh. the works. i love i love i love. 

as golden as the coast by @softandslow / softandslow

harry squeals over louis calling him petnames just as i would if i ever heard it occur. flirting, pining, demonstrations of affection, a lil bit of good n steamy tent smut, and captain niall. top tier.

as small as possible by mickey_d

i will never not wish that there was either more words or a sequel. louis is more than happy & ready to quell and support sweet lil harry’s anxiety & love him for the rest of his life. the cutest lil fluff fic.

all i want for christmas is by pinkgelpen (crybaby)

if you crave larry w kids, this fic is for you. harry’s the nanny, louis’ the single dad, the kids love harry, harry loves the kids & larry can’t imagine their lives without each other. the domesticity is top notch. baker harry full throttle. the lil moments where they almost go for it are so wonderfully written that you have to keep reading until they do go for it.

all i needed by @fallinglikethis / fallinglikethis

i think the line ‘louis will gladly be a fool to keep harry smiling’ says it all. protective/supportive louis, making sure that harry understands that louis supports him but still knows he can stand on his own just fine. love love love.

and then we kiss (all i wanna do is have a good time) by orphan_account

i mean, look. niall literally calls harry louis’ baby in the fic. need i say more?? louis knows harry is something special & supports harry however he can, harry’s immediately enamored with him, niall and zayn are top tier supporting characters who welcome him into their group so quickly & happily. wonderful dynamics all around.

babydoll blues by @thedevilinmybrain / devilinmybrain (venomedveins)

this isn’t your typical harry is louis’ baby fic, but it very much becomes that in it’s own lovely - albeit, slightly angsty - way. jen always writes in such a wonderfully descriptive way that you can feel how they’re feeling. this fic will make you cry but it will also make you laugh and smile. & the smut is so good. 

back to seventeen by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory

my cousin married her childhood crush (who’s also her best friend’s brother), so i’m a sucker for this trope. nicole consistently - as you’ll see in their other fics on this list - perfectly writes louis as immediately interested but it never feels too fast paced or unrealistic. harry is enamored by louis but simply does not know what to do with himself in the face of louis. it always just makes sense & is so lovely. we got some phone sex w louis’ dirty talk in here too, what a treat.

baby shut your mouth and turn me inside out by ballsdeepinjesus

look, we’ve got sugar daddy louis wanting to provide for & support harry, we’ve got harry trying to fight it until he realizes that louis is simply not to be fought & that he simply wants to help harry however he can, louis excitedly introducing harry to everyone he knows, and we’ve got some car sex. what’s not to love?  

but when we kiss... by @indiaalphawhiskey / indiaalphawhiskey

silver fox, seductive louis coaxing prideful harry into his car to get him out of the cold. harry giving in. then harry’s inner monologue and the top tier smut that comes after? amazing. 10/10.

burn this flame by @rainbowtitania / rainbowninja167

the way louis tries to take care of harry & harry’s refusal in order to prove himself to louis, only to end up naturally submitting is a delightful dynamic. the fluff. the smut. the relationship development. poor niall and zayn tho lololol.

don’t stop thinking about tomorrow by @1diamondinthesun / 1diamondinsunthesun

this one is - imo - quite angsty, but louis always feels like a beaming light in harry’s life. to me, this reads as though the moment louis found out who harry was, he realized he had to sweep him off his feet before anyone else did & then proceeded to do exactly that and i love the idea of that so much.

face your fears by @sadaveniren / sadaveniren

poor harry is riddled with fears for the majority of the fic. but louis never ceases to show his support verbally, physically, and emotionally. he meets every obstacle harry tries to throw at him head on. mind the authors notes, but this is such an overall cute fic with wonderfully written smut by sada, as usual.

faking it by @donotdialnine / thecellardoor

this author always seems to write fics that exude the exact definition of harry is louis’ baby - the ones i’ve read, at least. childhood best friends to lovers. fake relationship bringing out very real feelings. protective, teasing louis. poor niall & zayn trying to force larry to get their heads out of their asses. fantastically written smut, as usual.

found my hallelujah by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory

louis is literally the first person to call harry a petname in this and the first petname he calls harry is ‘baby’ !!!! do u hear me screaming !!!!! the world building is done so wonderfully, you feel like you’re physically & mentally with harry on the trip. i have so much love for this fic & larry’s dynamic.

gathered on wings by @twopoppies / brooklyn_babylon

the way their relationship began as harry having a massive crush on louis and has louis pursuing harry years later gives a very full circle feeling & it’s lovely. everything from their character development, relationship development, the smut, is beautifully written. 

give a little sing to the singles by @londonfoginacup / ladylondonderry

i cannot explain why but even before reading the ending, this fic simply exuded harry is louis’ baby vibes to me. and i love it for that. well, other things as well, of course. the humor that emmu always incorporates into her fics is *chef’s kiss*

in all its imperfections by @briannamarguerite / briamaria

punk louis & shy harry pining over each other will never not be an adorable trope. the way louis handles harry’s nerves, how harry just trusts louis to lead him in the smut, the humor, the communication? love!!!

if tomorrow never comes (we had last night) by @fallinglikethis / fallinglikethis & @all-these-larrythings / rearviewdreamer

louis picking up stranger drunk harry and brings him back home safely bc he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it, protective niall, the banter, the flirting, the fond, ugh. such a wonderful fluff & smut fic.

in dreams by dolce_piccante

louis becoming his new neighbor harry’s secret admirer by leaving lil gifts at his door in hopes of making him smile? ugh give it to me. punk louis, teacher harry, cuddling, the supportiveness, the ease in which their relationship flows from strangers to friends to lovers is my fav.

i made a map of your stars by @brightbluelou / brightbluelou

louis sees harry being an anxious ball of fluff and simply decides to come into his life and fondly tease him, flirt with him, and basically metaphorically wrap him up in a blanket & hold him? so precious. this fic will leave a smile on ur face.

just jump by @jaerie / jaerie

the way louis comes in & proceeds to help harry become the best version of himself always does it for me. for me, it’s the details in this fic. for example, louis quietly & nonchalantly breaking the rules to be intimate with harry? yes please & thank you. 

just one look (and i fell so hard) by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkttenface

everything from the shy glances, louis speaking up, them not wanting to leave each other’s side, them realizing the little things that they adore about each other, the smut, the ending. ugh. it’s so good. maggie’s never written anything that’s not magnificent tho, so i’m not surprised.

knock knock, i love you by beautlouis

there’s something about louis realizing that he’s going to be harry’s first for everything & being eager about it & demanding to make it perfect for him that really does it for me in fics. the dirty talk, the smut, the way they support & care about each other. they’re little puppies in love !!!!!!

let our hearts collide by @crinkle-eyed-boo / crinkle-eyed-boo (kimmierocks)

this fic made me cry, smile, laugh. from the moment louis hopped on screen in the fic, it very quickly became so very clear that harry was louis’ baby while not throwing away the whole liam/harry plotline away completely..even when i kind of sort of wish it did. kim had to remind of me the rationales of the fic when we talked about it last night lol. acceptance is hard but important, i suppose. i know it’s based off a movie, but she does a great job of keeping liam & harry’s ‘relationship’ up in a realistic way while still keeping your eye on the prize.

milk kinship by @jaerie / jaerie

this one doesn’t start off as a harry is louis’ baby fic, but by the end, it’s there, full throttle. jaerie knows how much i love this fic but i’ll let u all know too. this one is a thing of beauty. we’ve got lactation kink, we’ve got larry with babies, we’ve got possessive louis, and much more.

make him want to sin by @becomeawendybird / quickedween

instant connection fics can easily be written v unrealistically, v fast imo and molly writes this one so well. there’s some twists and turns but in the end, harry’s going home with louis, just like he was always supposed to. there’s also some fantastic desk sex.

may we all have a vision now and then by @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity

this is such a painfully sweet fic. the way louis takes care of harry, allows him to feel what he needs to feel and is happy to do it all. ugh. a cute short lil fic w lots of emotions.

needing you more and more, let’s give love a try by supernope

supportive louis, protective louis, happy and glowing mpreg harry, vacation smut, what a blessing.

never been knotted by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16

anitra’s sense of humor that she incorporates into fics + the way she always perfectly writes harry and louis’ dynamic never fails, making this fic the best combo of cute and slow but steady sexual tension building. with a cute lil plot twist at the end!

no one likes to be alone by @lululawrence / lululawrence

louis taking care of stressed out, nesting harry. the decision to have louis lick him when scenting is a huge small detail like r u kidding me ?? sus !!!! why do u continue to hurt me with your wonderfully cute writing !!!!

precious little thing by mercutionotromeo

phone sex operator louis? yes please. dirty talk? yes please. desperate harry that louis is ready & willing to take care of? yes please. love how feelings were brought into it + the ending is delightful in a way you might not expect

stranger stars by @sunshineandhisrainbows / shaylea

the character development. how their relationship develops. the way louis prioritizes harry from the get go, you feel like you’re indulging a guilty habit w him. but the slow burn is sososo worth it!!!! also the sexual tension? top tier. tw for internalized homophobia, homophobic laws & descriptions of illness.

say something by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything

the way louis is immediately interested but takes it slow & makes sure harry is comfortable and happy is so sweet. there’s definitely angst & resistance on harry’s part, but imo that’s part of what makes it fit with this trope - how louis acts with harry & their dynamic. lauren already knows how much i love this fic & now you all do too!

secrets don’t make friends by @thedevilinmybrain / devilinmybrain (venomedveins)

look. it’s got feminization. it’s got service kink. daddy kink. domesticity. amazing dirty talk. how much louis loves harry. how much harry loves louis. how supportive they are of each other. jen’s writing has me in a chokehold.

so grab your passport and my hand by @infinitelymint / infinitelymint

the way they instantly take to each other - granted, harry is enamored with louis even before the beginning - is so sweet. although the closeting aspect is a prominent obstacle, their relationships is nothing but cute and supportive and i adore it.

stars will align for us by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2

mel usually writes omega louis/alpha harry - and wonderfully at that - but i’m so glad this one exists too! poor harry is terrified of getting with his dream man, but thankfully louis has no problem stepping in & sweeping him off his feet

something unpredictable by @kingonafiftymetreroad / lsforever

ceo louis/employee harry? sexual tension build up? under-negotiated kink that’s written in just the right way? stressing the importance of communication and consent? give it to me!!!! and k did. i just found it about 7 years after it was given. but i’ve found it now & i’m so happy!!

the night sky is changing overhead by orphan_account

the twists in this fic are so unexpected but so good, the smut is amazing, and so is the character & relationship development. if you like fics with world building, this is for you

them butterflies by @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity

i’d bet good money that this fic is in all of my fic lists/recs & listen. i’m not sorry. their immediate connection? louis seducing harry by breathing in his vicinity? eli already knows how obsessed i am with this fic - i literally created a fic fest inspired by it - but i need u to all understand how wonderful it is too. all her fics are top tier tbh. ok i’ll stfu now

take me higher than i’ve ever been by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory

it’s a beautiful thing to watch the development of their relationship develop & grow. the way louis supports him, teases him, and loves him is brilliantly written.

to lure a hummingbird (you had me a moonstruck) by @broken-beaks / brokenbeaks

they get off to a rocky start, but the way louis handles harry’s insecurities in such a supportive, protective, tender way is absolutely beautiful to read as it unfolds.

the library universe by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16

i don’t think i can stress enough how much i adore this universe. louis’ teasing, harry’s denial, the way louis slowly but surey claws his way into harry’s heart. i have so much love for this universe. thank you anitra for allowing me to write a fic (currently a wip) inspired by it.

the clock strikes christmas by @jacaranda-bloom / jacaranda_bloom

rich louis takes homeless harry home with him, feeds him, clothes him, and loves him. harry does hold his own by insisting on getting a job & becoming an independent baby. we truly do love to see it. 

the flower that blooms in adversity by @hershelsue / docklands

this is the fic that made me realize that i’m not opposed to pregnancy kink & lactation kink if larry is involved LMAO. louis being so protective, attentive, and ready to help harry feel safe & taken care of is truly what dreams are made of. throw in some hot smut w dirty talk??? yes please!

tell me what you need by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkttenface

louis giving harry shit about his coffee order when he barely even knows him, making his order the exact way he asked for it after he gives him shit for it & then teasing him about it the next time??? what a time to be alive!!!!

the only one (when it’s said and done) by @londonfoginacup / ladylondonderry

louis is ready and willing to take stranger omega harry home with him to make sure he has a proper nest. harry is louis’ baby from the first moment louis blinks at him. you cannot tell me otherwise.

want you more than a by @donotdialnine / thecellardoor

this fic takes a cliche that could be done so predictably & instead puts its own twist on it to make it unique, cute, sexy & exciting. again, exudes the definition of harry is louis’ baby. one of my fav fics ever. the dom/sub dynamic is done in a way that flows so easily with the fic & their personalities. ugh i’m obsessed

wasn’t expecting that by @yourpricelessadvice / yourpricelessadvice

poor harry tries to get his shit together and the way louis communicates is such a well done scene. there’s angst. there’s implied homophobia. but there’s also so much love and fluff. all louis wants is to love and support harry. 

we are ghosts amongst these hills by orphan_account

i’ve said this before & i’ll say it again: this fic makes me miss a 17th century soulmate that i don’t have!!! once you get to the end, you have to go back to the beginning to reread everything. tw for violence, quite heavy angst in one area and time period typical homophobia. phenomenal overall. 

you’ll breathe me in (you won’t release) by loadedgunn

i think 99% of this fandom knows this fic, but here’s my thoughts: it addresses the power imbalances well, there’s angst, fluff, and smut. the dirty talk and possessiveness are magical. their personal character & relationship growth is so perfectly done and you can really feel how much louis & harry love and care about each other.

you take me over, you’re the magic in my veins by supernope

this is harry is louis’ baby but in a forbidden love kinda way that doesn’t feel like a forbidden love bc it feels so right is amazing. louis is immediately intrigued by & endeared by harry, harry’s enamored by louis & is constantly torn between flirting with him and respecting their fate. in this fic, it’s in the little things. 

***as always, please remember to support these lovely, talented authors by leaving kudos & comments on any of the fics that you read !!!***

[claiestve]

𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 ꨄ Elias

˜”* ❝𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙝 𝙨𝙖𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜.❞

⎯⎯ ୨ ୧ ⎯⎯

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴇxᴄᴇᴇᴅꜱ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ'ꜱ ʙᴏᴅʏ.

⎯୨⎯ " " ⎯୧⎯

“I just feel like there’s a lot of shit we’ve been through together, you know? It’s starting to feel like we could tackle anything together.” You hear Elias coming back into the room with the fruit you asked for. 

“Thank you,” You respond as he hands the bowl to you. “Continue what you were saying.”

The two of you had been having a conversation about how Elias feels like you were meant to be. It was a strange but sweet idea. The idea led to a deeper conversation than the two of you intended but you didn’t mind, it was extremely interesting. He also used some of his prior knowledge to explain his point which you didn’t understand at all but, you found it very endearing. 

“Like, I’m not entirely sure there’s an alternate universe but I’m leaning towards the idea every day and if I follow that theory, I feel like we would also be together in another universe. Like… maybe a universe where you save me this time. Or maybe one where we could just be free together, you know?”

You giggle a bit, “Would you even like me in another universe?”

Elias looks offended by the question. It was an obvious answer, plus, he just explained to you that he would. 

“Of course. Would you?”

You teasingly ‘hmm’ at the thought, knowing you would too. That’s what you’d be doing in another universe. Teasing him the way you do now and always will. That was just your dynamic with him and it hasn’t changed much. 

“Oh, c’mon! You wouldn’t like me in another universe?” He pouts at you. He’s lucky he’s persuasive in other ways because the whole ‘pouting’ thing did not suit him. 

“Ugh, I would! Calm down.”

“Oh, okay!” He sat there with a grin, “What about like… another planet?”

Of course, he’d use this conversation as an opportunity to talk about planets. It was his favorite thing after all. Talking about the two things he loves the most, you and astronomy. Even when you’d least expect it, he’d bring it up. However, this time was a little more predictable. 

“Hm? What planet?” You question him. You weren’t sure where he was going with this. 

“I don’t know… Wait! I have an idea! Say your favorite planet on three, and I’ll say mine.”

You nod and count to three. You didn’t know much about the planets or why one would be your favorite but yet again, you’d always been drawn to Saturn. It was one that actually interested you a bit. 

3, 2, 1

“Saturn?” You both answer at the same time. 

Out of disbelief, you look at Elias and smile. You didn’t think you two would have the same favorite planet. It was a pattern with you two though. There would be a lot that the two of you would be completely opposite about and then there would be things like this. 

“So…” He continued, “Would you want me with you on Saturn?”

“Duh. I’d like you anywhere with me.”

Elias leaned down for a kiss but you fed him a strawberry instead. 

“Is it good?”

He mumbled while trying to quickly chew and swallow the strawberry. He was upset that you blocked his kiss but he couldn’t deny the deliciousness of the fruit. 

“Yeah, yeah it’s good but, I’m tryna taste something else.” He closes his eyes and leans down.

You feed him another fruit, this time being a piece of mango. You laughed at his hums of annoyance. 

“What?! You said something else so I gave you mango this time!”

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

i had a sorta angsty elias fic like half done but for some reason i absolutely could not finish it so i bring u.... (short) fluff!

[fatuismooches]

hi! this is my first time submitting anything to this blog, so I hope I’m doing this right. If requests are closed, please ignore this!

Can I request dottore with an s/o who is just generally always sweet and friendly? I think it’d be an interesting dynamic (a bit cliche, but I think it’s cute)

Thank you!

-Sleepy Anon

In the Akademiya, he would think you're annoying, to put it simply. Not to mention fake. Not real. Being nice to him is an anomaly on its own but somehow keeping up the same energy for others makes him try to pick holes in your character for a long time, obviously because he can't believe this is really your personality. But with time comes knowledge and that comes with acceptance that becoming sweet and kind is really who you are. It also comes with him not wanting you to extend such things to others, only to be kept for him instead. Of course no matter his efforts this doesn't exactly work out.

However, by the Fatui time, he'd have gotten used to your personality by now. He's learned to accept it as part of who you are, but ugh, he does not take joy in how friendly you are with the other Harbingers... But of course, he can't stop you from doing what you please. (However, will he divert your attention from them? Will he give you extra work and tasks so you can't be all buddy-buddy with the Regrator again? Well yes!)

Unsurprisingly he and the segments would definitely try to rub off on you. By this I mean they will try to get you to act more rude and standoffish. If they're unsuccessful, they will only become more interested in that brain of yours because genuinely how could someone be that nice. If they're successful, they will be very proud of themselves and will try to influence you more. It's partly due to them wanting to see how much farther they can go and also because it's for your own good. They still don't see the benefit of being like you...

Although, if you happen to have a... darker side to you, under all of the sweetness you show, needless to say, he would be very much amused and intrigued. You'd need to show him in detail...

[ghouly-boiiiii]

My Name Is Cooper

Chapter 1

A Finger for a Finger

(Lucy x Cooper Howard / The Ghoul)

Next Chapter >>

Tags: angst, fluff, romance, humor, banter, femdom, alcohol and drug use, eventual smut

Summary: Follows Lucy and The Ghoul on their journey after the events of Season 1. Lucy has to come to terms with what she’s learned about the company and people she once trusted with her life and the future of the world, and the bounty hunter's rough exterior starts to break down as he begins to see his old self in her.

After coming across an abandoned vault, they decide to spend the night there and take advantage of its remaining amenities. While there, Lucy finds some of Cooper Howard’s old movies… The same movies she grew up watching with her dad. She puts them in, and as she recalls distant memories and struggles to cope with the truth about her father, she comes to another startling realization…

Authors Note: I just wanted to write something with these two. Not sure where it's gonna go, but I've got at least 3-4 chapters in mind, and there will be smut somewhere in there lol. I just think they have an interesting dynamic and much potential for witty banter and an interesting romantic/sexual relationship. Especially with the idea that Lucy may or may not have had a major crush on the actor Mr. Cooper Howard. And that The Ghoul may or may not become an absolute lost puppy for the first woman who looks at him in *that way* after 200 years of being a walking corpse.

It's gonna be an adventure. Let's see where this takes us, y'all. lol

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2,016

SPOILER WARNING: Contains all the spoilers

No trigger warnings except eventual sexy time with a zombie man.

“You’re awful quiet there, Vaulty.” The Ghoul said, breaking a long bout of silence as he glanced over his shoulder at his human companion, with Dogmeat faithfully prancing beside him.

Lucy didn’t look up at him. She just stared at the ground, dredging her feet heavily through the sand. Dawn had long passed and the sun was now beating down, but she could barely feel the burn on her cheek as her mind raced with the things she now knew.

“You ain’t said a word since we left Cali… Hell, you ain’t even beggin’ for water.” He joked, trying to prod a response out of her.

“Lucy.” She said simply.

“What now?”

“My name is Lucy.”

“Yeah? I know that… So what?”

“That’s my name…” She looked up at him, her brow slightly furrowed and voice sharp with agitation. “I just thought since we’re gonna be traveling together, maybe you could use it sometime…”

The Ghoul looked over his shoulder again for a moment, grinning slightly. He seemed a bit surprised by her tone, but also somewhat amused. “Hah… well, alright then, Ms. Lucy MacLean.” He said mockingly. “Tell me somethin’. Whaddaya think we gonna find when we finally catch up with that daddy a’ yours?”

The vault dweller felt her jaw clench a little and her brow furrowed more. “Why are you asking me?”

“Oh, I just thought… you been down there in that vault all this time. You ought to know somethin’.”

“Ugh… No! I don’t know shit!” She snapped, raising her head up a bit more. “…In fact… I’m the one who should be asking you the questions!” The girl narrowed her eyes towards him, zeroing in on the back of his wrinkly, bald head. “How do you know my father?”

“Hah… well… that is quite a story.” He said with a snicker. “But I think we best save that for another day.”

“I want answers.” She demanded. “Besides, we’ve got a long way to go, don’t we? Might as well talk...”

“I’m used to travelin’ alone, sweetie… Kinda prefer the peace and quiet, if I’m bein’ honest…”

“Tch…” She scoffed skeptically. “You like peace and quiet… or is that just a nice way of telling me to shut up?”

The Ghoul let out a chuckle. “Nah… If I wanted you to shut up, I’d just shoot ‘cha.”

She blinked, then picked up the pace, jogging up next to him. “Alright then… let’s talk.”

He glanced over at her, then shrugged. “Be my guest.”

“What’s your name?”

“My name?”

“Yeah, I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned it before… What do I call you?”

“I ain’t got no name, sweetie.”

“You have to have a name…”

“Not no more, I don’t.”

“Well, I have to call you something...”

“Heh…” He huffed a bit. His voice was casual, but clearly holding back some irritation. “Then you can just call me ‘Asshole’.”

“Come on. Tell me your name.”

“It don’t matter...” He said with a slight scowl. “...The man that name belonged to died a long time ago.”

Lucy stared at him a moment, then looked away, taking several steps before turning back to him. “...What... was he like?”

The Ghoul stopped in his tracks, then leaned to one side a bit and tilted his head before turning to her in exasperation. “I said you could talk. Not ask me a bunch of stupid ass questions.”

“I wanna know…” Lucy said, tilting her head a bit too as she stood her ground. “I wanna know who you were before you became… you know…” She paused as she looked him up and down with a slight sneer. “...this…”

The two-and-a-half century old bounty hunter stared at her a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. His eyes shifted towards the barren wasteland around them where Dogmeat had decided to wonder while she waited for them to continue, then looked back at the young vault dweller. “You wanna know what he was like…?” He finally said, then his eyes moved to the distance ahead of them as he continued to walk. “Well… he was a lot like you…” The Ghoul stated with a scowl. “Naive. Hopeful... Thought the world was a... good place fulla… good people who wanted to do the right thing...” The distain in his voice was palpable.

“You were… like me?” She said, her tone was both surprised and doubtful.

“I told you, Vaulty. I’m you…” He reminded her. “Only difference between us is…”

“Time.” She finished his sentence.

He looked at her a moment, then turned away and said, “That’s right…”

Lucy got quiet again, staring at the ground as they continued to walk.

A period of silence passed between them. The Ghoul found himself glancing over at her a couple times, before asking, “You worried… what this wasteland’s gonna do to ya…?” He said, his tone oddly compassionate. “What it’s gonna turn ya into…”

She quivered a bit, looked up at him, then back down.

“Well… I don’t blame ya. I’d probably feel the same way, lookin’ at me…” He glanced over and smirked at her a bit, but she didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at him. So he continued. “I hate to tell ya though… It's already started, sweetheart… But I think you already know that…” He grit his teeth together for a moment and sucked in some air between them. “Not much you can do about it, but…” He let out a somber exhale, hesitating a moment before glancing at her again and saying, “You know… it ain’t too late... to go back.”

The girl blinked, then looked up at him with wide eyes. “Go back? To where…?” Her tone was suddenly rather upset. “To the vault? That place? That…” She shook her head. “No! No, there… there’s no way I could go back…!” She swallowed hard, fighting back tears. “Not after… Not after knowing... what I know now…” She choked back a sob and shook her head. “Just go back…? Back to my old life and pretend… like none of this ever happened? …I can’t.”

“Hmm…” The Ghoul ground his teeth a little. “Yeah, I figured you’d say that…” He took another deep breath. “That's the problem with the truth. Once you got it, you can’t put it back… No matter how bad you might want to.”

She swallowed hard against the painful lump in her throat, then looked up at him. “...Why did you let me come with you?”

“Again, with the questions…” He said with an exasperated breath. “We both lookin’ for the same thing, ain’t we?”

“...And why should what I'm looking for matter to you?”

“It don’t. Not really, but… Shit, we goin’ in the same direction.”

Lucy was getting annoyed by how The Ghoul kept running the conversation in circles, but she wasn’t about to give up. “I don’t understand why you’re being nice to me now… Why don’t you just take me hostage again?”

The old bounty hunter snickered a little. “Well, cause I ain't got no reason to, sweetheart. I don’t just go around tormenting people for the fun of it. What kinda person you think I am, huh?”

“Huh.” She scoffed at him as if she couldn't believe the stupidity of that question. “Well… kind of… not a very good one, if we’re being completely honest.”

“Heh… Well, you’re not wrong about that... But the real question is… if that’s how ya feel, why’d you decide to come with me?”

She looked down, shook her head and shrugged. “As long as you’re not dragging me around with a rope, I think I’d rather take my chances with you than be out here on my own again…”

“Yeah… life’s full of hard decisions, ain’t it?” He turned towards her, lowering his head a little and looking at her from under the brim of his hat. “You know… I underestimated you... Ms. Lucy MacLean. I thought a cushy vault dweller like yourself would be nothin’ more than roach kibble.” He looked forward and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “But… you got somethin’ in ya. Somethin’ that’s drivin’ ya… Maybe it’s that curiosity a’ yours. Maybe a misplaced sense of justice… or… maybe something else. Whatever it is… it gives you that edge. You got that survival instinct… Aw hell, maybe I’m a little curious too…”

“Curious… about what?”

“To see how far you’re willing to take it… before you do go crawling back into that hole.”

She frowned deeply and glared at him. Her voice was quiet and shaky, but firm. “I’m… never going back down there… I don’t care… what happens up here.” Her voice began to waver and crack as she spoke. “I’m never going back… I can’t go back…”

“Yeah…” He nodded approvingly. “Because you don’t take no bullshit. That’s what I like about 'che. I respect that.”

The vault dweller, or rather former vault dweller, huffed a little. “Great… I’ve earned the respect of a murdering monster…” She said sarcastically as she wiped her eyes. “That makes me feel just… so much better…”

“Call me what you want. But like I said… just give it a little time...” He smiled a little as he continued to stride forward. “...And well... to tell you the truth, I guess I feel like I owe you one, you bringing me those vials and all….” He chuckled a little at himself. “What was that you said? Golden rule, motherfucker?”

She smirked a little, feeling justified. “Yeah… but… I... was also the one who... broke them in the first place… so…”

“That’s right, you did.” The Ghoul said playfully. “But then, I suppose I shouldn’t have been using you as bait in a poisoned river.”

“Yeah… Yeah, th-that’s right! You shouldn’t have!” Lucy yelped, suddenly getting animated as she recalled the ordeal. “That was… not very respectable behavior at all, sir!”

“Yeah… rude, huh?”

“Very rude!”

“Down right ungentlemanly.”

“The most ungentlemanly!” She huffed and puffed with righteous indignation. “A-and you know what? You do owe me! Yeah! You owe me big time, mister! You cut off my finger and… and I saved your life! I didn’t have to do that!”

The Ghoul let out an amused laugh. “Oh… I still got your finger.” He said, pausing to wiggle it in front of her.

Lucy squinted in horror as she recognized the out-of-place digit, crudely stitched onto the stump of his missing index finger. Then her eyes got wide as she leaned back, sneering in disgust. “You are… a sick, sick man.”

“What? You want it back?”

“I… found a replacement already… thanks.” She said, holding up her own bluish-gray finger.

“Never let a good body part go to waste, I say.” He said with a grin. “Besides, you did bite one a’ mine off first. Only fair you replace it.”

“Y-you kidnapped me!” She threw the blame back at him.

The Ghoul let out another laugh and Dogmeat barked in excitement. “Ah, Vaulty… it’s gonna be fun havin’ you around, ain’t it?” He said before continuing to walk.

She scoffed as she began to follow, but her voice softened a bit. “Okay… so… so does that mean I don’t have to worry about you cutting off any more of my fingers…? Or… anything else like that?”

“Well… now that depends, don’t it?”

“On what?”

“Whether you plan on bitin’ off any more a’ mine, darlin'.” He said, looking over at her. “Eye for an eye. Finger for a finger. You bite my ass, I bite your ass. Golden rule, motherfucker.”

Lucy scrunched up her face in an attempt to hide that she was trying not to laugh. “I-I… I will do my best…” She said after containing herself a little and raising her head up in a dignified, but also mockingly serious way. “But you know… sometimes… a fellas gotta eat a fella… right?”

The Ghoul laughed heartily, amused at her attempt to match his humor. “Well, in that case… next time I think you better swallow.”

She felt herself crack a smile, then began to laugh as well.

To be continued...

Next Chapter >>

[sorrel-leaf-vespers]

Hello, Dreams of an Insomniac Tumblr. I felt the urge to write DoaI fic and the Sitcom AU is my opportunity. Two things that I’m unsure on because I’m VERY new to the DoaI Tumblr community:

- I don’t know everyone’s pronouns for sure. I know Alex has been confirmed they/them, I’ve predominantly heard it/its for Clyde, and for Winfrey I’ve heard both they/them and he/him, but went with just they/them to be safe.

- I don’t know the full details yet of Clyde and Winfrey’s dynamic, so that’s why I kept it a bit more ambiguous.

If there's anything I got wrong or any details you want me to know please let me know because I'd like to try to engage with this community because y'all seem like great people

Anyway enjoy this short story

Alex opened the door slowly, making sure that their new roommate wasn’t in view. It wasn’t. They quickly ducked inside and locked the door, then leaned against the wall and heaved a sigh. They were still exhausted from the events of a few nights ago, when they had found Room 66. They still needed to record that tape, and finish that plan to break the woman they had interviewed out. They still didn’t understand. Why weren’t they in trouble? Surely they would face some consequences for their actions. Surely they weren’t going to get away with what they’d done.

They raised their head slightly as they finally registered some noise in the living room. They walked in to see Clyde lying on the couch, watching something on the television. They sighed. At least it was safe. “Hey, Clyde,” they said as they walked in.

Clyde lifted its head and wagged its tail a bit as Alex sat down next to it. “Hello.”

“Did you just wake up?”

“Not just.”

“What are you watching?”

“I don’t know. I just turned it on and let it play. I like the noise.”

Alex quickly checked the curtains. Closed. Good. Clyde’s secrecy and safety was the most important thing. “If you don’t mind, can we turn it off? I need some quiet.”

“Oh. Okay.” Clyde slinked toward the TV and turned it off, then resumed its lounging position on the couch. It noticed Alex’s tired expression. “Are you okay?” it asked.

“I just need a bit.” Alex closed their eyes for a second, trying to get the image of that giant Veldigun in Room 66 out of their head. “Sorry. I’m just… still worn out from the other night.”

“Want to talk about it?” Clyde tilted its head slightly. “What did you see?”

Alex was silent for a minute. They’d done their best to not think about it or talk about it too much until they were able to fully process it. Finally, they nodded. “I’ll show you the tapes in a bit, if you want, but as for what I saw… ugh.”

Clyde shuffled around, going from a relaxed, lounging posture to an attentive and serious one. There was clear concern on its face. “There were bad things in there. Right?”

“Yeah. Lankmann himself, and of course the Veldigun he’s keeping there…”

That got Clyde’s interest. It leaned forward. “Veldigun? Like me?”

“Your kind, yeah.”

“Who?”

Alex pursed their lips. “I didn’t get a name. They were really tall, probably around 12 or 13 feet standing up… muscular, bulky… They had two really thick horns on the side of their head, as well. Really curly ones.”

“Blue?”

Alex paused a bit. How did it guess... “Yeah. They were blue.”

Clyde sat back, pulled its knees into its torso, and wrapped its tail around itself. Alex heard it make a sound it never had before. It whined. The noise was almost like a dog whimpering. “Are you okay?” said Alex, scooting a bit closer.

Clyde was silent for another few moments before it finally spoke. “Winfrey…”

It was Alex’s turn to sit back and pull their knees up to their chest. Clyde had never said that name before. “Winfrey?” Alex repeated. “Is that their name?”

“Yes,” said Clyde.

“You know them?”

“Yes.”

“Are they a friend of yours?”

Clyde kept silent.

“A partner?”

Clyde didn’t answer.

“Family?”

Clyde closed its eyes. “That Foundation… has Winfrey?”

“They appear to.”

“Can we save them?”

Alex stared long and hard at Clyde. They had never seen the Veldigun look so… vulnerable. So afraid. Winfrey was obviously very important to it. It clearly didn’t want to see them hurt.

“Give me some time to think up a plan. I need to break someone else out of there first. Then we can try to get Winfrey out. Ok?”

Clyde was silent for a long time, then nodded. “Ok…”

Alex nodded and stood up. “I’m going to go take a shower, and then we can talk more. That ok?”

Clyde gave them a short nod, remaining in their curled-up position. Alex walked quickly to the bathroom. They felt horrible now, knowing that Winfrey was Clyde’s… friend? Family member? Partner? They didn’t know. All that mattered was getting the woman who had helped them out of the asylum, and maybe, if they could, letting Winfrey know that Clyde was safe…

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E4 Recap and Reaction

- Poor Crosshair keeps getting stuck on cold planets.

- Batcher banging on the chair ready to get out 🤣🤣

- These shuttles are really interesting to me. It’s rare to see a ship that size that can be piloted by two different people.

- Baby girl, I totally understand your logic in wanting to pull the data logs to see where Tantiss actually is, but given how tactful we know Hemlock has been so far in keeping his location hidden, most likely it wouldn’t pull up anything.

- What a dreary spaceport. Feels very Andor and very like Norwegian Star Wars.

- The level of snark that Omega is giving back to Crosshair is cracking me up. We don’t see her showing this level of talking back or being sarcastic with any of the other Batchers, which proves my theory that Crosshair’s constant level of highly annoyed at everything around him brings out the sarcasm in everyone else he encounters.

- Love that his knowledge as a former imperial is coming to play to help them.

- Also love that Omega was the one to recognize that they need different clothes (and the obvious pan of the camera on the clothes hanging on the line in the first shot of the spaceport to accentuate that fact).

- Quilted clothes in Star Wars is my fave (yes more Andor parallels).

- The uplilt and little scoff that Omega gives and the look she gives Batcher after Crosshair snarls about bringing “the hound” along is PRECIOUS

- Also Cross and Omega cross their arms the same way. Okay okay I’ll never be over their dynamic here.

- Crosshair’s trucker hat/scuba apparatus is hilarious. He doesn’t look too bad though. Surely he’s at least warmer now.

- The credits negotiation omg. I love how Cross is just waiting for this to play out before he makes a move.

- YES omg are my baby girls strategy skills FINALLY coming back into play??

- Oh no no no no no this kid is going to rat them out isn’t he. You guys need to be more mindful of your surroundings!! Ahhh (okay I’m glad this didn’t happen).

- Honestly at this point Crosshair would be me as well. Just lots of very annoyed sighing.

- I love that Crosshair is getting to see all the things about Omega that the other boys know already, but he hasn’t had a chance to witness yet. We know she can wipe the floor with most people on strategy games/gambling.

- Yep nope this captain is not good news. Don’t get distracted by ranting about Imperial bribery, don’t do it, don’t….*sigh* I hate the Empire so much.

- Oh no this is so bad! I swear WHY is every imperial such a slimy self aggrandizing POS.

- Aww Crossy hunched down at almost table level ready to tear the room apart if anyone touches his baby sister. Adorable murder kitten. 😸

- Also Crosshair when all of this is over: where the HELL did you learn to gamble like that!?! Omega: 🤷🏻‍♀️😇😁

- Also also what game are they playing? Those cards are beautiful.

- Oh no they’ve found the shuttle already. Dear god this episode is so stressful!!

- CROSS!DAD IS OFFICIALLY CANON lmao

- Okay I was hoping Omega would let him win bc this isn’t going to go over well

- Whoa I didn’t actually expect him to concede. Maybe he’s not quite as slimy as I thought. Doesn’t matter though, the shuttle will give them away regardless.

- Of course. There it is. Let all the seedy businesses thrive as long as you get your fine out of it. Ugh. This is paralleling a lot of imperial activities in Rebel Rising and the Ahsoka novel as well.

- I also love how Omega uses touch with Crosshair to calm him down and communicate with him.

- Whoa I did not expect Omega to throw the credits and basically give Crosshair the choice of abandoning her or not. Nor for him to actually have to think about it for a moment.

- “My skills are being wasted” the boy does not like feeling helpless. I understand.

- This is going to give Cross some understanding of what Hunter has been going through the last few years. Especially if he ends up losing her.

- “Don’t push it” and the extra head shake after lmao.

- Geez this man is just lining his pockets every which way isn’t he. Despicable.

- “Alright, let’s try things your way” “Finally” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- Animal stampede!

- Oh gosh is Cross going to get left behind??

- Aw he finally called her Batcher.

- We are clearly seeing how much Omega has actually been tempered by the rest of the Batchers being around her until now. The unfiltered combined powers of Omega and Crosshair at their most unhinged is maybe more than the galaxy is ready for 🤣🤣

- Also a very Andor reference with the captain being stampeded almost to death and having his gun kicked away from him in the melee

- NO WAY WE FINALLY GET AN IMPERIAL GETTING THEIR DUE BY CREATURE DEATH once again *cough cough* not a kids show

- Awwww Batcher licking Crosshair’s face. He’s so done for.

- They got away. Wow. I actually wasn’t expecting that. And with most of the money too.

- Okay. Smart girl. She did not pick Pabu.

- What an ending. Wow. So. Similar to Mando season 3 (which is also scaring me) — what the heck is the rest of this season going to be about?

- This reunion is everything. 🥹🥹🥹 the hugs. The running. The tears. The worry. The anger. The hesitation. The fear. The literal and metaphorical distance between their ships that someone will have to cross. They better not fast forward a millisecond when the next episode picks up I swear.

[pumpkinpie59]

rating tmnt love interests for the turtles

under the cut ;)))

leonardo

radical / raven shadowheart - mirage

6/10

-she seems pretty okay, but i can’t tell how old she is.

-she’s only his love interest in a possible future, not in the main timeline, but she freaking dies in that future lol.

-i mean i think it has potential but there’s not much there. they seemed cute for what we got tho.

-prolly my second fav leo love interest but that’s not saying much.

leonardo’s wife - mirage

5/10

-from his side story vision or whatever

-kinda average bc they’re cute but she doesn’t exist :/

lotus blossom - 1987

100000000000000000/10

-idk what to say they’re my otp lmao

-objectively best romantic relationship leonardo has ever had.

-they’re mutually into each other, work off of each other well, even splinter likes lotus so leonardo’s dad approves!!

-only downside is lotus hasn’t been in anything since and i think that’s why i’m so salty that they paired leonardo with april in the new movie (kinda but i’ll get to that).

venus de milo - next mutation

-1000000/10

-what the.

-that scene was painful to watch holy cow.

-“we’re just a mutant guy and a mutant girl” *lip bite* -> she just wanted a family bro 😭

carmen - archie

?/10

-all i know is that it’s from a possible future and the wiki says they’re implied to be interested in each other but i don’t trust the wiki so i’m skeptical

-also it’s weird for leonardo to date his pupil

koya - idw

-1/10

-*explodes*

-bruh they have no chemistry and he literally crippled her and she hates him for it.

-this only exists for the bad future and i’ll stand by that.

karai - 2012

-1000000000000000/10

-it’s worse than venus bc they both have splinter’s genetics. they are blood related.

-also they’re cousins too.

-“tHeY’rE nOt rLLy reLaTed” okay even if they weren’t blood related, it’s still weird as hell to crush on an adopted or step sibling/cousin. family is family regardless. and in a kids show especially; tmnt shouldn’t be telling kids it’s okay to crush on your adopted/step sibling/cousin!!!!

-karai led leonardo on.

-it sucks bc if you drop the flirting and crush completely, leonardo and karai’s dynamic is really good for both their characters!! new girl in town is legit one of my fav episodes just for how it portrays leo’s conflict with himself as a brother and as a leader. and he and karai’s dynamic is very interesting as friends and/or siblings or cousins.

april o’neil - mutant mayhem

5/10

-i mean it’s just okay imo.

-leo’s crush is adorable and i like their dynamic a lot.

-i just don’t think april is into him romantically. but their friendship is great.

-i honestly want leonardo to move on and let them be good friends. but i don’t want it to be drawn out and excruciating.

-also i want lotus in a sequel or the tv show 😭

raphael

mona lisa - 1987

9/10

-okay so. if i’m being completely honest, in the show they’re not really romantic. she’s a bit flirty but their dynamic is mostly platonic. which isn’t a bad thing!

-i think as a romantic pairing, they wouldn’t get together for a long time, but i do like them as a couple.

-it’s one of those pairings where i like them as both a romantic couple and as best friends and they work for both equally!

-they’re funny i like them.

venus de milo - next mutation

-1000000/10

-oh yeah raphael liked her too …

-blegh.

umeko / ninjara - archie

2/10

-i’ll be real i do not care about ninjara.

-they broke up so it doesn’t even matter.

mezcaal - archie

6/10

-raphael’s wife from a possible future.

-they’re adorable. shout out to archie raphael for being the only turtle to canonically get married.

-he gives her head pats :3

joi reynard - 2003

8/10

-he asked her out how sweet :3

-i wish joi showed up more i would’ve loved to see them interact more

alopex - idw

3/10

-GIRL GET OUT OF THERE HES NOT GOOD FOR YOU

-she was tWELVE when they met

-he was sIXTEEN

-what the HECK.

-also he was so moody toward her several times ugh

y’gythgba / mona lisa - 2012

10/10

-there we go. the best raphael romance.

-idk they’re cute.

-my only issue is that their first episode together is badly paced and i just wish they had more episodes together. but that’s the issue with 2012 in general not just them specifically.

donatello

jhanna - mirage

9/10

-literally the same as 03 except not as much interaction between them, however, donatello did look much more smitten in mirage?? ig???

-but yeah i love jhannatello :3333333

irma - 1987

2/10

-does this. count?

-idk i only included it bc irma kinda flirts with him more than the others and they end up being closer friends compared to the other turtles.

-yeah no i really don’t think this should. be shipped gjdjfj

-she’s an adult. tho it is weird that she flirted with him but ig the writers forgot the implications 😭

-i could see ppl making her a love interest in a version where she’s a teenager too but otherwise noooooooo

-i like their friendship tho they’re funny.

((((also shout out to next mutation donatello for not flirting with his sister so i don’t have to include her lol))))

jhanna - 2003

10/10

-my belovedssssss

-idc that it’s only implied I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC

-i ship them so hard.

-they have more screentime together in 03 which is why i like it more than mirage.

-also they slept side by side so obviously it’s canon duhhh

renet - 2003

6/10

-included cause some ppl think they were a thing

-they’re cute ngl

-i think maybe they were into each other for a bit but it didn’t work out bc time travel romances don’t work

april o’neil - 2003

2/10

-donatello kinda had a crush on her but thank God it didn’t go anywhere.

-yeah no thanks lol.

-love their friendship tho they bestiessss

mona lisa - idw

1/10

-why is mona a jerk in idw smh

-i’ve already talked about this but yeah i do not like their situationship at all.

-give him jhanna i’m begging fjdjfjdk

april o’neil - 2012

9/10

-yES I RANKED THEM THAT HIGH SHUT UP

-only turtle x april ship i like; otherwise i’m a jhannatello stan

-keep in mind i only rlly “ship” them in season 4 onwards

-season 1 to 3 was their messy phase and they needed to grow up before they got together

-they were totally dating in season 5 fIGHT ME

-they’re idiots and i love them

bigfoot - 2012

-1/10

-fjdkdkskfjskkdjdksdj

-thanks to my sister for making me add this

-yeah what the.

tbh i don’t count batgirl hhh

michelangelo

princess seri - mirage

1/10

-what in the soap opera—

-no bc she seduced him, had his babies, sent him to jail, and left him there when he called out for help; he was justified to hate her

-the way this plotpoint gets dropped and never mentioned again LMAO

-mikey is the only turtle with canon kids 💀

kala - 1987

10/10

-the best michelangelo ship bite me

-THEYRE SO PURE

-the way he looked after her when they first met 😭

-their cute flirting fjskfjdkdk

-i love them

buffy shellhammer - 1987

4/10

-she’s annoying but she’s capable of handling herself so i like her lol

-but michelangelo liking her was super random and was only there bc the episode was a copy of the transformers g1 episode where powerglide falls for a human girl. i’m not joking both episodes were written by david wise and have the same plotpoints.

-“main flame” my butt michelangelo

-maybe he crushed on her bc kala being in an alternate dimension and near impossible to contact made him feel like it was never gonna work or something … that’s so sad omigosh

-leonardo of all ppl telling him it wouldn’t work bc she’s a human is hilarious tho. like boy lotus blossom is into you too and you know this lmao

mitsu - 3rd 90s movie

3/10

-i haven’t seen this movie, but i don’t like time travel romances.

venus de milo - next mutation

-1000000/10

-pls end me

sara hill / horridus - image

3/10

-… tbh i don’t like hook-up dynamics … it’s not romantic to me …

-also idc if a character is curvy but the girls in image comics are drawn so badly like they have no spine,,, just boobs and butt 💀

princess trib - idw

9/10

-finally a good mikey ship

-THEYRE ADORABLE

-the purest idw couple fr

-they’re just sweet to each other and encouraging and gahhhh

-mikey wanted to show her his manga collection to impress her and i think that’s funny

-it is kinda weird that trib is based on tribble from 1987,,, aka the neutrino baby … but whatever lol

renet - 2012

7/10

-i mean y’know whatever they’re cute

-it’s still a time travel romance which is … mehhh for me

-like it’s sad bc i don’t see it working out unless renet quits her timestress job …

shinigami - 2012

4/10

-pls they’re just friends.

-there’s no reason to make the turtles crush on every single girl character in the show 😭

april o’neil - bayverse movies

2/10

-end my suffering.

-making april pretend to think it’s funny was also cringe. like make her tell him to stop pls.

lemme know if i missed one ….

[etrevil]

hey!! I absolutely love the vibes of your blog! I’m getting into bungo stray dogs (or trying to :’) ) and since you seemingly write fics for it, do you have more recs?? I don’t really know what the main pairings are but I like to use fics as a way to see if I’ll like the fandom and pairs!! Thank you!!

you're making me crack my knuckles because DAMN AM I NOW EXCITED :DDD

terms used: bsd (bungou stray dogs), hp (harry potter), mha (my hero academia), soukoku (chuuya/dazai), shin soukoku (atsushi/akutagawa), chuuda (where chuuya tops), fyozai (dazai/fyodor), fyolai (fyodor/nikolai)

First and foremost is the widely beloved I Was Screaming Your Name Through The Radio by ElectricSplatter, which is just a rollercoaster of emotions that grip you by the throat. Do note that the chapters are hella long, but enjoyable. The relationships are fleshed out beautifully.

Magic and Mystery by Allegory_for_Hatred is also a good start because it's a bsd and hp crossover that's just, amazing. Had me up at 3am until I physically could not read. There's an ongoing sequel too!

wtf, since when are you married? by xxalwayssofia is a short, quick laugh that, for me, had one of the best characterization for soukoku. Sofia's stories in general (check her account!) have got the character's personality traits down with little creative liberties.

Ne Chuuya, won't you marry me? is another one by xxalwayssofia, and I die of laughter because of this on a daily basis.

Now, I may be mean for suggesting this, but this fic is a diamond found within a gold mine that will eventually end you up in jail because some rich dude probably owned it first. In summary, it hurts. Like a gunshot wound (wink wink to the readers). And that is Ruiner by gev_ao3 (rated the E-est of E's)! The long-awaited consequence chapter is already out for this one, so when you binge read it the ending will hopefully be satisfying. Just be aware this is incredibly graphic, psychological, and angst-filled to the brim.

I read If the Far Side Saw You by birbleh a considerable time ago, but it both pinches and caresses my heart all the same. I haven't anything else to say other than give it a chance.

Ice Queen by TheHighQueen is a great ongoing Dazai genderbend fic, that follows canon with interesting diverging road stops.

This Color Ain't It by justcallmedude has Kenji, our lovable super strength-powered farmer, as a main character! Crossover between bsd and mha with a dash of angst thrown here and there.

For a shin soukoku pairing fic, I'd suggest Fair Ankles by spirallings (rated E) and love knows no boundaries by dangodangomilk; fun, interesting stories that aren't that long, the latter's a oneshot and the former's ugh, just around 100k words :>

One of the first bsd fics I've read, which is with a fyozai pairing, is Letters from the Underground by ktaem! The writing style has its own refined edge, with the exploration of a what-if scenario that had me by hook, line, and sinker. This fic is still in my tab group because I always keep rereading it!

Now if we're entering the explicit territory, I will forever recommend my favorite series (pairing is chuuda btw) Ineffable Partners by Ch_ee_rios. The eighth installment is currently updating, and I promise, you will cry- or at least feel a significant gut punch.

Head Full of Lies by AbsoluteNegation, as my friend one said, is where the good shit's at. The premise had me instantly curious and soukoku's dynamic is wonderful, messy, and DAMN I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH.

Mors Vincit Omnia by themadtree, an soukoku and fyolai fic that will have you bending over and dying of laughter and pain. The author's other works (akai!) are also very good.

The series all that is left by alaruya is a personal favorite of mine. The writing style is unique, with choppy sentences and tear-jerker lines. Was the first story that ever had me thinking, "god I need to bookmark this," and I did.

Bottom of The Deep Blue Sea by arkastadt is a filthy, guilty pleasure. (can you tell I'm an avid bottomzai reader?)

And that's it... I think? I'm also willing to suggest Leafing Through The Pages, I Found You by YunaYamiMouto, but letting you know it's an ongoing reaction fic of the bsd cast to Dazai's life (with the author's own creative choices and headcanons), so there will be a lot, and I mean a HECK TON of spoilers. Which, to be fair, the other fics do have in sprinkles, but this tackles novel events that maybe you'd wish to read at your own pace :D

also shameless plug I have my own fic, the heat of your orange, and I know there's only one chapter but I'm trying my best to update soon

Happy reading!

[questforgalas]

As always I will hold firm that this blog is a space for positivity while welcoming constructive criticisms of media. I’m a firm believer you can enjoy a media while still accepting it’s flaws/not vibing with an episode/not vibe with some writing choices etc.

I have a lot of emotions swirling in my brain after the Bad Batch panel at Star Wars celebration.

The panel started off with a montage recap of season 2, and I became so emotional watching it. It reminded how much I really loved this season and how beautiful it was cinematically, the development we got with the characters (got extra teary when they showed Crosshair shoot Nolan and the audience erupted, my man deserves all the flowers 😭😭😭), and wonderful development with the story of the clones and the empire.

There was a lot of focus in the beginning of the panel on Omega's development from Season 1 to Season 2 along with her development through Season 2, and her view of what's right and what's wrong being challenged like every child when they experience that everything is not right and just, and it was really heartwarming to watch Michelle talk so passionately about Omega. It's clear she loves this character and is so excited to bring her light to life in the galaxy. I also thought it was interesting when she and Athena (a producer) brought up the fact that Omega is actually older than the batchers, and as much as we view it as "over protective older brothers", Athena and Michelle made the distinction that it's actually "over protective older sister", and that gave me a major perspective switch to her character and her need to put herself in danger regarding the Batch that I hadn't thought about before. I think this realllllly plays into the now very talked about moment in the trailer (that I haven't watched yet) with Crosshair saying "I'm not like them" to Omega - I 10000% believe this is Crosshair, mr. wicked-observant-perceptive-sniper, pushing Omega away because he knows she'll put herself in danger for them and Crosshair genuinely believing he's not worthy of being considered a Batcher anymore and not worthy of her dedication. Someone fucking sedate me and my emotions regarding this pixelated man

Dee saying "I'm very excited by the screws that are turning, the wheels that are grinding, as this story plays out in all of its interesting ways in particular around Crosshair" gave me the air under my wings I need to get me to 2024.

Now, I'm someone who when I watch panels like this, I analyze every smirk and smile and frown and eye glimmer when a spoiler topic comes up, so let's get into when Tech came up (putting under the cut because this is getting long and some people may not want to see Tech conversation yet).

Michelle: stuttered through her whole answer, not in a "overcome with emotions can't talk way" (although she did get choked up initially talking about it which ugh love ya babe 💖) but it came off as she didn't really know what she could say in the moment. "Ok no he doesn't come back in this episode, at least", big pause before "at least"

Dee: probably the most convincing that Tech's gone. Even tone throughout, passionate (for Dee) talk about saying goodbye to this character. Got emotional at the end. BUT THEN when he discusses Tech and Phee's dynamic later in the panel, is all present tense

Jennifer: Got very emotional. Couldn't finish her explanation. Brought on the emphasis of Omega's perspective and Hunter's worst nightmare. Used the word "definitive" a couple times. Had spent other moments in the panel previously talking about how "every time they got involved with the Empire, it didn't end well"

Brad: More emphasis on what happenen when the Batch tangled with the Empire, and Tarkin being the ultimate Empire force at the time. Intercepted by Dee, a lot of finality speak

So, after watching that moment a few times now, I still stand firm that, until the end credits of the series role and no body is returned, Tech will come back, but I will admit that watching the panel brought my assuredness down from 90% to 50%. Unless that entire panel are the best actors and phenomenal at not giving any tells, it was hard to grasp onto hope that Tech will come back after watching that. Which brings me to my criticism

If Tech is actually dead, and the OG 4 Batch are not reunited before the end of Season 3 aka the end of the series, then that will leave a sour taste in my mouth with the series as a whole. Genuinely Season 3 could be the Crosshair show and it would not save the series from my overall opinion if the OG 4 are not together and then the whole Batch family have their conclusion.

I want to be very clear, that conclusion could be all 5 of them chilling on Pabu together (although I think Echo is going to end with being part of the rebellion) or it could be that all of them fall fighting the empire in a blaze of glory together - which I admit seems more likely with the ongoing theme of "they're not just soldiers but they can't get away from it, and every time they engage with the Empire it doesn't end well for them, but now it's personal" - but either way, if it's all of the Batch together I don't care how it ends. I also want to be very clear that I will still love the series and I will still rave about them and blog about them in a positive light, but I will have a very hard time at the conclusion of the series if this doesn't happen.

It narratively and logically makes no sense to me to introduce the Batch as they did in TCW to have them separated within the first 60 minutes of their own series and have a focus be on how out of synch they are when they're not all together, to then continue to separate them with absolutely no sense of closure. It makes no sense to me to emphasize their brotherhood and their sibling dynamic more than any other clone squadron, even the dominos, and that emphasis be really put on Crosshair (after rewatching TCW arc, ALOT of the typical sibling moments are between Crosshair and another batcher. He is the sibling focal point in that arc and "Aftermath") to have him be ripped away from them and never have that reunion with one of his original brothers. It makes no sense to me to have Tech be the one to stand up to Hunter and declare Crosshair as still their brother and they need to go get him to have him then be killed off in a very flat way to not have that reunion moment.

Admittedly, I fell in love with the Batch because of their dynamic in TCW arc, and I expected there to be changes through their series, that's what character development is for. I also admit that the hope that the OG 4 would be reunited kept me coming back each week, which then resulted in me just being hooked and attached in general as I grew to love each batcher, especially Echo and his dynamic with the squad too. But if Tech is really dead, I am just so confused as to why they'd take what hooked so many people on the Batch as a whole and throw it out the window.

With all of this said, I completely recognize that I'm not the creator(s) of this show and I'm not making the decisions, so if the OG 4 reuniting is not an end result, then I may not agree with it but it's not my decision and I still love and appreciate what they've given to/will give us.

So, we obviously have awhile until 2024, and I will be gobbling up every crumb they throw at us as the season comes closer. It is more than likely that by the time the season comes around, I will be emotionally feral and unhinged living in an AU la la land. I am so so excited to see how they conclude this story and very hopeful for what they have in store. Until those end credits role, I will hang onto the hope that the OG 4 + Echo + Omega will be together again, and I'll happily strap in for whatever ride they throw us on.

But please, please, please bring the OG dynamic back.

[darlingsart]

Do you have any other aus?? I love your modern aus so much 😃

Hi! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my AUs! 🥹❤️

I have SO many AUs for Pat and Achilles so this is going to be a long post lmao

One of my favorites is this nereid/human modern AU that I’ve been daydreaming up for the past four years. In this AU, I like to think of nereids having legs but they’re covered in scales, they have more webbed feet and fingers, webbed ears, sharp teeth, gills, like a human/sea creature mix. So Achilles takes advantage of his mostly human appearance by sitting at the shoreline or lounging around the sand from time to time when no one’s around. Anyways, he meets Patroclus by chance on a small, secluded part of the beach and they fall for each other and of course drama ensues because they’re not supposed to be together and Thetis is NOT having it lmao. This AU has everything, secret romance, small towns, royalty drama, heat/mating cycles, and family fluff down the line. It really is one of my faves that I’ve written for myself!

I’ve also got an actor/model AU that I’ve recently been fixated on too. I love the idea of Pat being an amazing actor so much AND Achilles being a spoiled model. Like they are just the IT couple down every red carpet, the envy of all instagram users. I love the idea of Patroclus getting a golden globe or an Oscar or something and Achilles just being a feral mess in the audience like you all better fucking CLAP for my HUSBAND. He’d definitely get a little teary eyed heartfelt shout out from him too.

And then I have a plain old modern AU with them knowing each other as kids and getting together in college, you know the Standard Patchilles AU (which I love).

I’ve also got some spicy AUs like a sugar baby/sugar daddy AU, OH and a “You work for my dad’s company and we’re hooking up in the supply closet between every meeting” AU which is pretty self explanatory and a little messy lol like Peleus thinks that Achilles is finally taking an interest in running the business since he keeps coming to the office every day but really he’s just banging Patroclus, the new VP whenever they’re not in a meeting and eventually their feelings start to go beyond the office and they start actually seeing each other but have to keep it a secret from Peleus, love love love the messiness of it all!

Then I have a sex worker AU. This one’s also one of my faves where Pat is a pretty well off guy, like he’s already established in his career and has a good life but he’s also pretty lonely. Like even his friends notice it and he definitely feels like something’s missing from his life but he’s not exactly sure if he can do the whole relationship thing at the moment. One day, one of his friends jokingly recommends seeing this one worker who— surprise surprise— is Achilles and Pat ends up falling in love and catching feelings very quickly, like after their second or third session, he just can’t stop thinking about him. But it gets messy bc of the work/client dynamic even though they both have feelings for each other and all that UGH I love it.

So many AUs so little time lmao 😭

[inchidentally]

Something that i really noticed with that last video mclaren posted, the way oscar talks when he’s around lando vs how he talks when he’s alone. Like that aussie vs british words video which was probably filmed not that long ago from now, oscar is completely showing his sass and not holding back at all with his thoughts, doesn’t even care what the interviewer finds weird (obviously still in a respectful way, bc he was raised right) But when he’s with lando it’s like he reigns himself back because he wants to relish in lando’s sass instead, he wants to hear his thoughts and he’s genuinely interested in him and what he’s saying. Everyone keeps saying we miss prema Oscar, but prema oscar never left, based on that video he’s obviously still like that. it’s not even that he wasn’t comfortable enough as a rookie or not well settled in yet to show his character in his first year or that he was only following lando’s lead(which he was to some extent) but it’s been an entire season and he STILL waits for lando to speak first and waits for him to finish his sentences with exceptionally long pauses. He just loves hearing him. And even with lando’s tendency to ramble sometimes and oscar wioild still listen to a meaningless ramble from him bc he adores him. Sigh

They’re made for each other(I’m delusional)

OKAY BUT I hear you so much anon and I just want to lead into smth that has been cooking around for me about this since I fully agree w you, the Oscar we see with Lando is curiously different and quieter than Oscar with anyone else.

and I think this comment on the latest video hit the nail on the head?? in a way the person prob didn't think was that deep ??

bc of speaking the same language to the point of semi-mind reading but now ugh you've got to bring Other People along on your conversations and translate everything..........

so like y'know how Lando and Max F always look a little like they're going to burst out laughing when they have to put on their on-camera personalities in a Quadrant video? when you're around a close friend where you both normally speak in like half sentences bc you don't need to fill in the rest, it gets weird when you have to translate all of that out loud for the benefit of other people watching?

seeing Lando and Oscar's relationship develop over the season and now into the new one with this interview, I'm actually starting to think that's way more the case w them as well. we all joke about the twinning and unconscious mirroring but it makes all kinds of sense that considering how similar Oscar and Max F are in many ways that Lando would have a similar dynamic with Oscar - where it's not always easy to include the general public and have to bring all of us along.

the like, overlapping sentences and watching each other's expressions thing is so similar in both those relationships as well. same as when Lando is in A Mood where he's either hyper or giddy or low-blood sugar argumentative and Oscar and Max are basically following around after him like adults making sure a worn out toddler doesn't smash their head into sharp edges lahflashf.

and with the other F1 Lando friends like Carlos, George, Daniel Alex, Yuku, Max V etc, Lando is fully a gossipy chatterbox and pretty high energy - even when they're filmed casually or candidly. those friendships revolve around F1 and shared activities like padel, golf, gossip or going out/partying. it isn't that guys like Max F or Oscar couldn't easily slot in with those groups, I just think it's more that they're a different type of friendship with Lando. the streams don't usually cross in Lando's life, or very very occasionally. and I feel like he's even said he likes keeping the different parts of his life a bit separate?

so initially it kind of threw a lot of us when he seemed so relatively quiet and less of his usual 'on camera personality' around Oscar rather than seeing his usual teammate Lando Effect of jumping into a bromance, leaning into humor and figuring out a shared activity. and that usually includes lots of social media content together for fans.

but Lando and Oscar never post about when they hang out - even when 'contractually obliged' - and we only find out incidentally or bc someone else mentions it or posts pics. and from what we do find out incidentally, it makes you wonder about what else we're missing. it's just the usual things that a lot of drivers do together but Lando and Oscar prefer not to broadcast it for some reason.

and when you think about it both Oscar and Lando keep a certain percentage of their lives strategically offline already (Oscar way more obv) and it's like they automatically inserted each other into that part of each other's social life rather than a fan-facing one?

like obviously I'm just going off what we can see but they've been pretty damn consistent about it. Lily is obv a major part of Oscar's life and he has this whole set of close friends from boarding school who've gone to races as well as a set of old friends back in Australia - but apart from the occasional post of Lily, we only know any of that part of his life from Oscar mentioning it in passing or incidentally from a post by someone else or a fan sighting. Lando has a whole existence with close friends in Monaco that fans have tried and failed to squirrel out that Lando himself only mentions in passing and never posts about. he posts Martin but goes very shy and doesn't want to talk about him or their friendship in interviews.

and then Lando and Oscar have all these little in-joke moments and watching each other super closely and almost actively concealing the time they spend together that isn't requisite… and then little touching moments like Lando posting Oscar giving him a small smile on lando.jpg as the first slide so that the black heart caption sits underneath. and Oscar staying up all night after Vegas liking comments about Lando's crash and leaving that little papaya heart under the post of McLaren announcing that Lando was discharged safe and sound from hospital. at like 5am and apparently either when Lando was with him or after he'd left him.

idk it's just such a weird case of kismet that Oscar became a serious Lando fan when they were 14 and 16 respectively, their karting journeys both went through Ricky Flynn, Oscar and Max F knew each other in the Renault Academy, their paths crossed in an interview where Lando (who doesn't really talk much about the junior categories) said "not yet" when asked if they'd raced each other. and then Oscar arrives against a LOT of odds as Lando's new teammate and he's got zilch in common with Carlos or Daniel for Lando to fall back on and it's the worst start to the season of Lando's entire career… yet it ends up being the most immediately strong partnership Lando's ever had ?? there's no mixed dynamic to overcome or huge disparity in anything, not even an age difference and they share a double podium not once but twice while Oscar is still a rookie ??

and like, Oscar's in so many ways set up to fit in perfectly with the more low-key friendships Lando has in his non F1 life. bc from what it seems, Lando likes hanging out at home playing games and eating takeout and just chilling quietly as much as he does the glamour of F1 and touring the world and being a businessman. and I feel like he's even said somewhere how he needs to have that balance in his life rather than just being an F1 guy or just being the guy who stays at luxury resorts with famous friends.

so this separate little world that even casual fans seem to pick up on feels like it's because they genuinely fit together so well as people but also happen to make extraordinarily great teammates and I get why Lando keeps bringing up what will happen when they're battling for a WDC with that worried little shadow over his face bc it's one thing to have a bromance buddy teammate where you can shove each other around and laugh and hug off the tension… totally another when it's someone you feel is so similar to you and feel so strange when you're both having to pretend to talk 'normally' on camera and even weirder imagining you both on separate sides of a competition rather than joined together for it ???

like, they wouldn't necessarily have known each other if they weren't teammates and as teammates they're both talking about WDCs in cautious but confident tones and saying how they have 'years together' but also the tension of being each other's biggest competition and measure of success without any of the usual bro-ey fun of being Good Mates or Cabrones bc Lando and Oscar aren't bros and they're not dudes and they don't shove each other around or make loud jokes so how do you diffuse tension when you can psychically sort of connect and the bleed of what you want for each other and yourselves doesn't have that easy delineated relationship boundary bc Lando and Max have had to delicately and carefully navigate something similar and they couldn't just crack a joke or slap each other on the back in a hug and sort it all out bc that's now how they are together they actually talk and they make considered kind and gentle effort and it's too embarrassing to tell people about that unless you feel absolutely safe and chat is unusually chill and idk idk idk the similarities with Lando and Oscar and the complexities man !!!!!

idk as per usual this JUST my brain chewing all of this over and is NOT me thinking I actually know what's going on but it sure helps to offload it here where I know some of us will prob be like 'oh yea I get what that btch is saying' <3<3

[knivestothroats]

ITWS/ProVic Crossover Event Of The Century (part 1)

This is a crossover of In The Woods Somewhere by me and Professional//Victim by @victimeyez. Part 2 is here. Content warnings: Captivity, discussion of torture, discussion of sex trafficking, drug and alcohol use

Fletcher owned one suit. It lived in the back of their closet next to their old lucky leather jacket. They figured they used up all the luck when they took a bullet to the chest and didn’t die, so it had been cleaned of blood and retired.

The suit only came out for dinner parties Fletcher grudgingly attended for networking purposes. This one was a business mixer someone had rented out a ballroom at a hotel for. Almost a two hour drive for Fletcher, but it’s not like events were being hosted in the woods.

They combed back their hair neatly. But they couldn’t stand to look at their reflection, so they tousled it again. Stylishly. 

Fletcher scanned the room for familiar faces when they walked in. Not wanting to make an immediate beeline for the bar, they walked to it casually instead and ordered an old fashioned. Something to hold and sip would help them look and feel more at ease, less awkward and out of place. They leaned against the bar for a moment, surveying the crowd again. Still, no one they knew. That meant it was time for cold introductions. 

It was what these events were for, but… ugh.

Fletcher’s eyes landed on an intriguing pair. One was on the taller side. He was wearing a blazer over a turtleneck, silver wire-frame glasses, and his hair in a half pony. One hand held a cocktail, and the other was planted firmly on the shoulder of a slightly shorter man. He had dark curls falling around a gaunt but pretty face. Shadows clung under his eyes, which drifted nervously around the room before returning to the floor. He was dressed in black slacks, a white button-down shirt that hung a bit loosely on his frame, and most notably, a red leather collar with gold details.

If nothing else, they were the most interesting.

Fletcher approached the pair. They held their hand out to the taller man. 

“The name’s Fletcher, nice to meet you.”

He took it gladly, with a firm but non-threatening grip. "I’m Caius, and my friend here is Tommy."

Fletcher managed to refrain from cringing at the name. They glanced in his direction in time to catch Tommy looking at them nervously before turning his head away. Fletcher hadn’t intended to offer their hand to him - the power dynamics were clear here - but now they barely wanted to look at him. 

It wasn’t an uncommon name, but it still struck a chord every time they heard it.

"What business venture are you two representing?" Fletcher asked, shifting their attention back towards Caius.

With practiced ease, Caius pulled a business card from his jacket pocket and held it out to Fletcher between two fingers. "We make dreams come true."

Oh, Jesus. Fletcher raised their eyebrows just briefly as they took the card. An almost velvety texture, sharp edges, silvery print. “Personalized entertainment,” followed by a phone number. Fletcher flipped it over to a blank back. 

"How very enlightening," they said dryly.

"You'll have to forgive me for being discreet. Tommy works for us as a private entertainer, of the torture fantasy variety. He's very responsive to direction, and… stimulus. He's less of a call boy, there are a lot of rules if you want to fuck him." Caius smirked on the word "fuck." He spoke with an even, telemarketer tone throughout.

Tommy wasn't facing Fletcher head-on, but his eyes were focused on them just to the side. He squinted slightly, as if trying to think of something.

"Hm." Responded Fletcher flatly. "So, torture is a free for all, but sex has conditions."

"We have ways of fixing most things, but penicillin can only do so much.” Caius said. “We have a state-of-the-art lab for flash healing and scar-free recoveries. He's a blank slate every time." 

To the side, Tommy's gaze lowered, filtered by long eyelashes. Fletcher turned their sights back on him, sizing him up from a new perspective. He was pretty, in a frail way. Timid, most likely beaten into submission. Collared, but not leashed; that meant he could be trusted to follow orders, at least to some extent. He had the allure of a prey animal to a predator like themself. Caius had chosen well. Or molded him well. 

“Which do you get more requests for?” Fletcher asked, returning their attention to Caius. “Torture or sex?”

Caius grinned wolfishly. "Torture - sex is cheaper from anyone else." He tipped back his drink for another sip, but did not take his eyes off of Fletcher for one long gulp. It was weird. He made it weird. "I'm sure customers like you get it for free."

"Customers like me?" Fletcher echoed. "What makes me so special?"

Caius cocked his head, shifting gears. "You tell me. Who are you, sharp stranger?"

Ok, so definitely the type who thinks flirting with customers will help him close deals. Fletcher answered unaffected. "I run a training operation. People send me new recruits or nepo babies that aren't living up to expectations and I teach them the skills to be productive members of criminal society. Mercs, mobs, murderers of all kinds. Done work with a lot of families and guilds, hoping to make some more connections tonight."

"Aren't we all." Caius looked around the room briefly. "We will be doing a demonstration later, hoping to drum up some noise for our service." Tommy was a statue at his side, staring off into space like he had drifted from his body. At least for now, while he didn’t have pain to pin him in place. "Maybe you could help me out - you see, I don't want to get this blazer stained... and you could use a bit of color."

"Mm," Fletcher took a sip of their drink. "People usually pay me for that kind of service. I come highly requested. Or I did, when that was my game."

"People usually pay me for that kind of service. Or at least… providing the body. But look at us - we could be here, right now, making a connection."

He was laying it on thick. Fletcher tried to retake control of the direction the conversation was heading. "Not sure if I should be surprised that there’s a market for it. Obviously this is a more major industry than people realize,” they gestured around the room, “but in my experience, not everyone wants to get their hands dirty. Not that dirty, anyway. Not everyone has the stomach for it, let alone the appetite. What's the going rate for something like this?"

"It depends on what you have in mind. Time, tools, location, severity. You could get a quote from my associate over there," Caius said, pointing to a neatly groomed salesman with short, ginger hair. The gesture caught the attention of said associate, whose eyes widened upon seeing Caius talking to a potential client. He rushed over, trying not to look panicked. 

"Hi, hello, I'm Rory." Slightly out of breath, he stuck out his hand for Fletcher. "I see you've...met Caius."

Fletcher shook his hand. "Fletcher. Pleasure. You handle the finances for this operation, then?"

He gave a short, biting laugh. His chill, easygoing sales persona was slightly tight on him at the moment. "Yes, I do, you don't have to give Caius any money, all the payments are processed through me."

Fletcher chuckled. "Caius wasn't trying to shake me down. I was just wondering what you charge for this sort of service. Although it sounds like it varies. You have a ballpark, or a range?”

"Well, it depends on a few factors, yeah. Tools, time, location, severity. But if you can tell me a little about what you have in mind, I can get you one right away." Rory flashed a winning smile. "And if I may, you might be interested in a special contraption my associate has made, which we'll also be demonstrating later today. Maximum pain for minimal effort sort of thing, if you don't want to get your hands dirty. Or if you do." He raised a conspiratorial eyebrow, leading the upsell with practiced charm.

"Mostly just asking out of curiosity," Fletcher said. "What's the contraption?"

"The Cradle," Caius easily volunteered. "Michelle is making toys now, and they're just so inspired." Whatever the contraption was, the mention of it seemed to snap Tommy out of his reverie. He promptly switched to a more refined look of abject misery.

Fletcher caught the change in demeanor. "It rocks them gently to sleep, I take it?"

"Something like that. You'll have to catch the whole spiel when we do the demonstration. Then maybe you can do a demonstration for me." 

Fletcher had been trying to be diplomatic, but that was a bit much. "Ok, slow your roll, bud. You’re laying it on way too thick right now and I’m gonna need you to tone it down.”

Rory very firmly stepped on Caius's foot, and he dropped his smile suddenly to a more neutral expression. "One hour, ballroom stage. See it for yourself. Come and join the fun, or don't."

He spoke matter-of-factly, betraying no emotion if he was insulted by Fletcher's rebuke. Rory gave Fletcher a tight smile and moved to pull Caius away by his arm. "Caius, come get a drink with me." 

Sweat was beginning to form on the ginger salesman’s forehead. Bags forming under his eyes, slight jitters in his hands - probably due for another bump. Caius resisted for a moment, seeming to consider. Tommy moved in to Caius's other side and subtly touched the sleeve by the man's relaxed arm. Caius turned at the touch and they met eyes, exchanging something wordless shared with just a look. Caius walked away amicably with Rory, but Tommy stood there, staring at Fletcher. Studying their face for a moment before telling them, with a defeated voice, "I know what you want."

Fletcher raised their eyebrows. "And what is that?"

Tommy did not keep a prideful look, he just looked experienced. Performing an unpleasant role that had long become old hat to him. "You like it when they squirm."

Fletcher smiled, flashing teeth. They took a step closer to Tommy. "How long have you been... doing this?"

"A while. Around five years, as far as I can tell. They don't let me put tallies on the walls."

Fletcher folded one arm across their chest and left the other loose to swirl their glass. They thought of a number of questions, but weren't sure if they wanted to know the answers. There was a certain level of detachment that made everything easier. Asking how he ended up in his position may be tempting, but hearing his story could create sympathetic feelings that Fletcher would inevitably have to smash down when they left him at the end of the night. Because they sure as fuck weren't going to rescue him like an abused dog. He could have been an enemy who crossed them and lost, he could be a random victim picked up off the street. It didn't make a difference. 

"Caius said you fulfill fantasies. You've gotten good at figuring out what people want, then."

"I had to."

"You're better at it than your owner." Fletcher glanced over their shoulder to the bar. Rory was leaning in a little too close to Caius and talking fast while Caius glowered at him. They turned back to Tommy. "Five years, huh? When did you give up?"

"Handler,” Tommy corrected. “I guess...it doesn't really matter." There was a low table off to the side of the crowd, flanked by two plush chairs. Tommy took a few deliberate steps towards it to check if Fletcher followed, and then eagerly claimed one of the seats. He seemed to enjoy sitting down in such luxury like a child might enjoy playing in a pool. Scant pleasures abound for him.

Fletcher pushed out the other chair with their foot and sat, somewhat poised on the edge as if they’d have to jump up at a moment’s notice.

"It's hard to place an exact moment, but...I would say, whenever it was when they had to reattach my hand." He smiled numbly.

Fletcher put their drink down on the table and studied his face. He seemed too aware of his situation to tell an easily refutable lie if he didn't need to. Still, Fletcher had been around the block, and that was extreme. They didn't want to seem gullible. "Are you fucking with me?"

"I'm five years in and just - just look at me," he gestured vaguely to himself. "No scars, no bumps. Experimental stuff. They gambled on the right guy. I say guy, because he's not a doctor any more."

Fletcher did look Tommy over. He was right. This was a person who had accepted his place in Hell, which means he'd been there long enough to get through all the stages of grief. He should be covered in scars. He should have a crooked nose and fingers. He should be in pain when he walks. All he really had to show was a sunken face and dead eyes. Fletcher leaned back in their chair and glanced over to Caius and Rory and again. There was a third person with them now, and they all seemed like they were trying not to make it obvious they were arguing. "Any chance your not-doctor is here tonight?"

Tommy opens his mouth with a wry grin and then seems to think better of it, closing his mouth to chew over his answer again. "No, he's not. I'm not sure Caius would share. That information."

"I saw the smirk,” Fletcher said playfully. “You have something you want to tell me."

Tommy chewed on his lip as he thought about it. "You're going to get me in trouble."

Fletcher put their hands up innocently. "How am I going to get you in trouble?"

"You almost talk to me like a person," Tommy said.

God, he was so pathetic. Part of Fletcher wanted to be nice to him and part of them wanted to grab his face and smash it into the table. Either could get a fun reaction. "Look," they leaned in conspiratorially. "This is your chance to get it all out. You probably don't get to talk shit with customers, right?"

Tommy's face was slightly flushed. He was practically bursting at the seams, but he swallowed down the desire and sat back, sinking into the seat. "You think you're the first to try this?"

Fletcher blew out a breath and rested their chin on their hand. "You are a professional, huh?" they said with a smile. "I may not convince you, but... I like you better than your handler, so far. I think it would be fun to know something he doesn't."

Tommy sighed and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes for a long moment. "You're the type that needs a reaction. You like being feared. You've been doing the 'lone wolf' thing for a while now." He removes his hands from his face and his eyes stare at them in his lap. "You've convinced yourself you're comfortable with it."

The smile faded from Fletcher's face. They paused for a long time, staring Tommy down. He wouldn't look up to meet their gaze. "I wasn't asking for information about myself," they said coldly. "Look at me."

"I don't - I don't know why I said that." He kept his eyes down.

Fletcher reached out, put two fingers under Tommy's chin, and tilted his head up. They fixed him with a hard stare for a moment. Studying his face, thinking, but also... he wasn't wrong before. They wanted him to squirm. "That's quite a skill. I don't know if you're wasted in this role or if you're perfect for it."

Tommy closed his eyes for a long moment, and when he opened them again they met Fletcher's with focus and clarity.

"I'm perfect for it."

Fletcher put their chin back in their hand. They drummed their fingers against their lower lip. "I haven't talked to anyone else here yet," they said. "But I think you're probably the most interesting person in the room."

Tommy sat up suddenly, turning as Caius, Rory, and a third man joined them. Caius wore a grim smile. "Has he told you I'm evil yet? Made you sympathetic to his cause?"

"Um, no, but I can figure that out," Fletcher said. "We’re all at the evil convention." They finished off their drink and pointed to the newcomer. "Michelle, I take it?"

"You may take it," The other man said with a nervous laugh. His hair was divided into twists that nearly touched his shoulders. "And you're Fletcher in the Rye?"

Fletcher laughed. "That's pretty good." They stood to shake his hand. "You're the inventor?"

"Oh, more like tinkerer, but I suppose. Are you looking for any new toys for your collection?"

"Well, your associates keep alluding to your 'cradle,' trying to create an air of suspense to keep me interested, I'm sure. But, it's working enough that I want to know what it is."

He laughed. "Yeah, they're the ones that know how to sell. It's a curved brace that connects into nerves along the spine. Are you sticking around for the little demonstration we have planned?" 

Rory stood by as if waiting for one of the others to say something he would have to try to make up for, but held fast for now. Caius leaned over Tommy's chair and cupped his boy’s face with one hand, his thumb pressed to his lips while his other fingers supported underneath his chin. A peculiar touch, and an almost casual gesture, but some meaning was hidden there. He was touching Tommy where Fletcher had, in order to tip his head up. Caius dug his fingers into the hollows of his cheeks in an almost teasing squeeze before letting go.

Fletcher watched the interaction carefully, studying both their faces. "I'll stick around," they said. "I should work the room more, anyway. And I need another drink." They picked up their empty glass and raised it in a salute. "Gentlemen."

Rory and Michelle gave small, appropriate nods. Caius flashed them one last winning smile before turning suddenly and leaning into Tommy's space to whisper something in his ear.

Fletcher returned to the bar and opted for a whisky sour this time. 

“I’d prefer honey, if you have it,” they said as the bartender set to work. They glanced over their shoulder to scope out perspectives to chat up, but ended up turning back to the bartender. 

“So, do you work for the hotel, or do you work for the host of the event?” Fletcher asked.

“I’m employed by Ms. Hannowitz,” he said, referring to the host. 

Fletcher nodded. “Okay, so you know what’s going on.”

“Indeed I do,” he said, setting Fletcher’s drink on the bar in front of them. 

“Thanks.” They took a sip. “It’s great, thank you.” 

They turned towards the crowd… then back to the bartender. 

“So how does that work - are you solely employed as a bartender for Hannowitz, or do you do other stuff for her, or is there like a catering company specifically for illegal events?”

A pair of women approached the other end of the bar and waved the bartender over.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said to Fletcher before walking away. 

“Oh, sure, sure,” Fletcher muttered. Taking another sip of their drink, they surveyed the crowd. Finally, they saw someone they recognized - a capo in a family they’d done work for in the past, and trained a couple foot soldiers for. He was talking to a couple people Fletcher didn’t know; perfect opportunity for introductions. They made their way over.

~~

The troupe doesn't make a spectacle of it when they make their way to the stage. Caius and Rory each clasp a hand around Tommy's wrists and rush him up to prevent a last-minute escape attempt. Caius had slipped him a little something earlier, which was not pain meds as Tommy had hoped but instead a muscle relaxant. He wasn't running off anywhere any time soon.

Backstage, Michelle opened the suitcase they had loaded in earlier and started to fit together pieces stored inside. Rods interlocked into a surprisingly sturdy frame, and the suitcase was detached from the wheeled base. With a few turns of an allen wrench, the base unfolded into a longer, thinner platform that the metal frame fit into. It resembled a rolling clothing rack, but unusually tall and wide. 

Tommy was watching the construction, his stomach tight with fear. It had been a long time since he cried before the torture even started, but his eyes were prickling with unchecked emotion. Beside him, Caius fussed at the backstage vanity. He had pulled out a little doggy bag of cocaine and poured some onto the chalky desk. He dug in his wallet for a credit card and a crumpled receipt, which he smoothed out and rolled with ease. He cut the ivory with his credit card into two lines before wiping one off the edge into a vial. 

"Head back," He instructed Tommy, and when he didn't respond fast enough Caius wrenched his head back by his hair. He pressed the vial under his nose and tapped it gently, emptying the coke into Tommy's sinuses before pinching his nose shut. "If you sneeze, I'll leave you up for them all to use. Don't waste my shit." 

Tommy's eyes watered at the pain triggered all the way down his throat, but managed to nod. Caius let go and let him wipe his nose while he took the other line for himself. 

"Ready?" Michelle had a hand on one of the supporting polls, wheeling the rack along. 

Caius coughed and wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve. "Where's Rory?" 

"He's already out there, setting up the table." 

Caius sniffed and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, alright, let's do it." 

Tommy wondered what coke was like for Caius. He seemed energetic and focused and jolly. For Tommy, it just made his nervous heart pound harder. He felt like trapped prey, with an overwhelming urge to run, but nowhere to go. Mixed with the muscle relaxant, he felt caged inside of his weakened body. 

They walked on stage to see a sizable crowd already waiting for them - enough people had noticed the set-up begin, and plenty others had been invited to attend personally by a member of the team. Caius slunk off to go about some nefarious business while Michelle positioned the rack facing out towards the audience. He stopped at each of the four wheels to press a trigger down with his foot, the wheels locking stubbornly onto the stage with a rubber seal as each was fastened. Rory was laying the finishing touches on a folding table to the side, covered in a variety of implements to inflict pain. In the middle layed a long black piece of metal, curved and thin with an appearance reminiscent of a xenomorph's detached spine. Tommy’s heart hammered in his chest looking at it, and he took one step back towards the stairs. 

"Hey," a friendly voice said, as a hand gripped him by the arm. He turned and Michelle was looking at him with a curious smile. "Come here, this way." He was led towards the frame by Michelle's push, who gentled him like a wild animal backed into a corner. "Stand here, just like that, good. Strip down to your underwear, please." Tommy gave an anxious glance at the crowd formed in front of them. "Don't be shy. Here, I'll help." 

Tommy didn't resist as Michelle helped him undress, cooperating slowly in a daze. None of this felt real. His head throbbed in time with his heart. A moment later he was strung up to the frame, pulled taut up on the balls of his feet by his wrists chained above him. Michelle took his clothes, and Caius reappeared at his side, one cold hand spreading over his lower back. 

"Let's get started."

In another life Caius was some shithead Shakespearean actor. At least, he knew how to project to the room. 

"Friends among us, we are here to demonstrate a new and original design from our labs." He did not have to clap his hands or ring a bell, the people were intrigued enough by Tommy's public binding that the dull roar simmered to a quiet murmur among the crowd. Michelle stepped up to center stage and took a deep breath. 

"Pain is not evil. It is not inherently a punishment from our bodies. It is a part of our natural homeostasis system, our bodies' need to maintain good, working order. Our body tells us what we need through these systems. We feel thirst when we need water, tired when we need sleep, hot when we are overheating, cold when our body temperature is low. We even crave foods that satisfy nutritional needs - red meat when we are low on iron, maybe some popcorn when we need the salt." It got a very modest chuckle from the crowd. "We have built-in sensors throughout our bodies that tell us when we are injured or wounded. All of our sensitive nerves are there to alert us when the body has been damaged. The signal we receive that holds that information, is how we sense pain.

"Common methods of interrogation - or just play - manipulate the body to create pain. But sometimes, we need to generate a lot of pain without causing a lot of bodily harm. What if we used these nerves, these sensors, directly, to cause pain without unnecessary damage?" 

Caius fetched the Cradle from the table and brought it to Michelle, who held it up to the audience. 

“We are here today to introduce the Cradle, a device for not only generating pain, but immobilizing the subject by it, too. No more handcuff keys to lose. The Cradle conforms to the human spine, and when lined up correctly, slides pins directly into the shallow bundles of nerves along the subject's back. With physical damage no worse than a few pinpricks, you can latch this into a person's spine with an incapacitating amount of pain. The Cradle then locks in place with a simple mechanism that the victim physically cannot reach to unlock. "

There is an excited murmuring through the audience, and Michelle is received well when he holds it aloft. 

"As I began the build and manufacture process, I realized the Cradle could accomplish much more than I had planned. By wiring electrodes into the crest of the artificial spine and running copper filament through the pins, the Cradle is able to directly stimulate the nerves with electricity from the rechargeable battery pack located at the small of the back. Each charge is good for 250 hours of consecutive use, and can be stored without charge degradation nearly indefinitely. "

Caius and Michelle moved to Tommy then. He didn’t even register that Caius was telling him to turn around, but they guided him into it, twisting the rope suspending him so his back faced the audience. He felt distant from his body and his hands were already numb. 

"By lining the dial up with the top vertebrae, which you can feel at the base of the neck here - " A firm few fingers felt along the back of his neck for a moment before circling a low spot. "-minor adjustment to account for varying heights-" Something cold was pressed to his back, and then there was an intense pressure as the pins there threatened to pierce his skin. "-clamp to insert the pins at an angle, and lock in with a further series of hooks to secure the mechanism-"

Almost as soon as it breached his skin, the pain was unbearable. His back seized with the intrusion and he screamed until he had no air left. Dragging in another deep breath agitated the creature biting hard into his spine and he struggled to collect air.

They let him go and he was slowly turned back with the unwinding of the twisted cord. He was forced to face the audience as he trembled and seized, muscles clenching up into painful cramps, only driving the pins deeper. He kept waiting for the pain to plateau, to break, but it seemed to only heighten more and more. He dry heaved and his legs shuddered, his body spasming in some attempt to relieve the pain it only stoked. They let him dangle there, the monster on his back crushing his spine in shocking agony as he screamed himself hoarse. 

"As you can see, it is quite effective at its original purpose. The Cradle has two forms of charge to create different reactions." 

Fletcher watched intently. Tommy clearly knew what was coming. His movements were sluggish - either doped up or disassociating. Maybe both. The moment the device kicked on was clear. His face contorted and his legs gave out, bending awkwardly beneath him as his restraints kept him from collapsing. The screaming was loud, and long, interrupted only by gagging breaths. Michelle explained different settings for pain and immobilization. Fletcher figured they could adjust the settings to make it impossible to scream, hitting that sweet spot where the pain takes the breath from your body. At the very least, cause his muscles to seize enough that he can’t open his mouth, and the cries seep through muffled and broken. But these men were showing off - they wanted the screams. 

It looked like a good device. Sure, there were tasers and jumper cables that could cause similar effects. Paralytics, nerve agents. But the Cradle seemed more fine tuned, most versatile. Portability was a question - does it fold up? Still beats a car battery, but not the other options. And they’d be interested to see if it left any marks on his back when they were done. 

Michelle turned the device off. Tommy hung limp, jerking with aftershocks. Tears streamed down his cheeks, but he didn’t sob. Just moaned with pain. Fletcher had wondered if they were going to feel conflicted about watching the demonstration. After all, they had enjoyed talking to Tommy more than they had any of his owners. But they ate up every moment. 

Tommy really was good at it - or good for it. Not much participation was required on his part. Maybe if he had gotten a chance to beg. He was probably really good at begging. Hell, he reads people so well, he probably had it down to a science. 

He would probably look good bleeding, too. The contrast of his pale skin and dark hair would pair so well with the rich red of fresh blood. 

The troupe on stage took a few more questions. Blah blah blah warranty, blah blah blah voltage, blah blah blah tetanus. One older woman up front piped up. 

"What is the lasting damage remaining after use? Have you studied the extent of the nerve damage left?" 

"Why don't we ask him?" Michelle and Rory had been fielding most of the questions, but Caius stepped up to address that one. He crossed over to Tommy, who was starting to recover enough to just barely keep himself up. Caius took his face between his hands and lifted his head to speak directly to him. They had a low, murmured conversation for a moment, before Caius dropped his head and turned again to face the crowd. 

"As you can see here, there is some bleeding from the punctures." Caius addressed the woman while he used Tommy's back like a prop, gesturing to his various parts like a ranger teaching children about some animal captured for their wildlife display. "The bleeding is little more than the amount shed for removing a simple IV, as the needles are only a wider gauge by two or three times. Immediate after-effects can include tingling, numbness of the extremities, muscle spasms, cramps, and a low-grade fever. Tommy here is doing quite well for having undergone our trials, though he has reported continuing nerve pain for up to three months at a time." 

Caius gripped Tommy's arm suddenly and pushed, spinning him around on his suspension a few times while he struggled to get his feet to support him. He slowed to a stop facing out to the audience. His dark curls stuck to his forehead with a thin sheen of sweat from the pain, and his eyes were red from crying. He still had little drops of his tears down his chest, and he cowered in his near-nudity before the excited audience. Caius ran his fingers through Tommy's hair, smoothing his hair away from his face and adjusting his curls with a few sharp tugs.

"I'm afraid we did not properly introduce him before, but this is Tommy, and he's a very important part of our business. He's not just here to model Michelle's wicked inventions. See, he is our most requested product by far." Caius put a possessive hand on his clammy lower back, pushing Tommy slightly forwards towards the audience. 

Michelle and Rory stepped to the side to let Caius do his song and dance as they moved into a different part of their show-and-tell. Rory seemed to have given up on directing Caius, mollified by his drugs. The same drugs that kept Tommy awake as he already trembled from the strain. 

"What would you do if you had him to yourself for a few hours?” Caius asked the crowd. “Anyone?" 

There was some nervous shuffling before a young man called out, "Bull whip!" 

Caius cracked a grin. "Whipping, certainly. I'm partial to the cane, myself. What else?" 

“I'd make him walk on nails!" Another enthusiast called. More people were getting intrigued. 

“I'd use him like a punching bag." 

“I'll make him beg for his life." 

“I'd skin him to the bone." 

“He could clean my house in a thong." 

“I could use a car battery to make him dance." 

“I'd make him dig his own grave." 

Talk amongst the crowd grew as people began to brainstorm, and then to one-up each other. Caius laughed with mirth and called them off with the lazy wave of a hand. 

"So many good ideas! We use top of the line medical procedures that can't be found outside our labs to keep Tommy fresh for his next date. If you can host, we can come. Tommy is responsive, vocal, and sensitive." 

Caius turned and punched Tommy in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of him immediately with the well-placed strike and he struggled to curl in on himself as he wheezed. He could not shield himself with his arms tied above him, and he looked exceptionally vulnerable as he struggled. Mostly nude, strung up in front of a crowd eager to devour him. He had no recourse as Caius dug his fingernails into the tender flesh of his side, raking them across diaphragm and leaving angry red lines in their wake. Tommy flinched and wriggled, a fish caught upon a hook. 

"To demonstrate his uses tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, we will invite a very special guest on stage. Please give a round of applause for Fletcher!"

[continued]

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