#I’m not even that weird and actually I would love to get weirder

[the-boy-meets-evil]

not according to plan | hjs

summary: your ex-fiance is getting married and everyone you know is going to be there. when he calls to ask if you're coming, you accidentally mention a boyfriend. which would be fine, if you weren't very single. thankfully your best friend comes through with the perfect solution when he sets you up with a friend of his. what could possibly go wrong?

pairing: joshua x f.reader genre: fake dating, strangers to friends to ?? | fluff, slight angst, smut rating: explicit, minors DNI word count: ~22.1k notes/warnings: johnny suh as the ex-fiancee (sorry, he's not great in this), other idols born in '95 used as background characters, mentions of past cheating, food & alcohol, lots of "dates", reader is referenced as coming from a rich family, mention of being an escort (minus the sex?) smut warnings: making out, multiple smut scenes (kind of, it could be a continuation), multiple orgasms, teasing, they're both v obsessed with each other's bodies, protected sex, fingering, nipple play, oral sex (f. receiving), scratching/marking, squirting, overstimulation, use of lube, i think that's it (but let me know if it's not)

author's note: this fic is dedicated to the lovely @shuadotcom, i'm so sorry it took me literal months to finish fake dating!joshua but here we are anyway. i'm not sure how this one got so away from me either lmao. banner credit to the beautiful @wongyuseokie who (again) did this very last minute. thank you to @wonwussy & @kwanisms for the mid-fic beta. thank you to @wooahaeproductions, @horanghater, @cheolism, & @hannieween for listening to me talk about this and helping with things like petnames & dates.

taglist at the end (& join my permanent taglist here)

“It’s fine, it’s been years and I’m over it. Plus, I’ve been seeing someone anyway and he’s great. So I wasn’t ignoring your invite,” you say without a second thought. 

It’s just a stream of consciousness. The lie comes flying out of your mouth faster than your brain can process it. That’s exactly what it is, too. A lie. You’re not seeing anyone and haven’t been in a serious relationship since the person on the other end of the call broke your heart. 

“Oh, wow, sorry, I didn’t mean to…well, I didn’t know. My mom didn’t say anything when she said she had spoken to your mom about whether or not you were coming to the wedding,” Johnny says with a little bit of ramble. 

“You know how my mom can be, I haven’t had the chance to tell her yet,” you deflect. 

“I’m happy for you, then,” Johnny says. 

“Thanks, I’m happy for you, too,” you force out. Somehow, it doesn’t sound like the lie you know that it is.

“So, it’s not weird, then? I mean our moms are best friends, so the rest of your family is all going to be there. A lot of your friends will be there. I know you haven’t RSVP’d yet, but…” Johnny starts.

“Nope! Not weird at all,” you utter, hoping that your voice sounds even. “It’d be weirder if I wasn’t there, right?” 

“Probably, yeah,” Johnny says. “That’s great, though. Do you want me to mark you down as a yes? I can even add a plus-one, if you want to bring your partner.” 

“That’s so thoughtful, but I wouldn’t want to put you out. I know how expensive weddings can be,” you say and try to sound sincere.

“No, it’s no issue, actually. We have a few extra seats that we left just in case we forgot someone or didn’t know about someone’s partner,” Johnny presses. “So we’ll see you both there?”

“Yeah, you will,” you hurry out. This conversation needs to be over. 

It’s only an hour after hanging up with your ex-fiancee that your mom calls to tell you she can’t believe she had to hear it from Mrs. Suh that you’re dating someone. Which includes a whole lot of deflecting and promises about when she can meet this mystery man. Another twenty minutes after you hang up with your mom, you get a pointed text from your younger sister. The two of you haven’t ever been all that close, so she shouldn’t be surprised that you haven’t mentioned him. She made her side pretty clear when she maintained her friendship with Johnny’s new fiancée. That new fiancee, a close friend of your sisters, also just so happened to be the girl he cheated on you with. So, she can hardly expect to have a close sister bond. Yet, she seems oddly suspicious that she didn’t know you were seeing someone seriously. 

Your quiet Saturday afternoon turns into a full blown headache all thanks to one call from the asshole that you really thought you left in the past. Of course, now is the perfect time for him to pop back up. Now, when you’re even between any sort of casual sex. Now, when you don’t even have someone that you can call up to pretend to date you. This is going to be one of the worst calls that you have to make when you have to admit you made it all up, that you will absolutely not be showing your face at the wedding, and you will also be changing your name before moving away.

For now, you do the only thing that you can think of doing. You call the only person that can give you any perspective on this whole fucking disaster. 

“Well hello,” your best friend answers. 

“Jeonghan, I fucked up,” you say without preamble. 

“This is gonna be good,” he responds. 

“I just got off the phone with my mom,” you begin.

“What did she want?” he asks, knowing that it won’t be anything good.

“Well, you know, to talk about this new boyfriend of mine,” you continue.

“You haven’t dated anyone in forever,” Jeonghan chuckles. 

“Thank you for that,” you snark. “And then, of course, I get a text from my perfect sister wondering why she’s also just hearing about this boyfriend of mine.” 

“Why do your sister and your mom think you’re dating someone?” Jeonghan asks.

“Oh, well, you know. Johnny called today,” you offer.

“Fuck that guy,” Jeonghan interjects.

“He wanted to know why I hadn’t responded to his wedding invite and assumed it was awkward because I was single, so I told him I was seeing someone,” you finally finish.

“For fuck’s sake,” Jeonghan says into the silence and you can imagine his face.

“Right? My life is a fucking mess and now Johnny thinks that I’m bringing my boyfriend,” you groan.

“I’ll start planning the story for why you suddenly left town,” Jeonghan says. 

“For real, my life is over,” you whine.

“What are you gonna do?” Jeonghan asks softly. 

This is really why you called him. Jeonghan is a shithead, sometimes, and he can be a bit of a chaos demon. He also can be a bit of a schemer, especially when it comes to winning a game. But, he’s unfailingly kind and caring to the people he holds dear. He absolutely hates getting into any kind of real conflict with his friends. There’s that whole side to him that honestly wouldn’t hurt a fly and always has a way to comfort. That’s the side that you get now. 

“I don’t know,” you answer, voice just as quiet. “I’m just…I don’t want to let him win, you know?”

And Jeonghan does know. You’ve been friends since before you started dating Johnny. Even though he never liked him, Jeonghan supported you in your relationship. When Johnny proposed, he called your other friends and set up the best engagement party anyone could ask for. From the outside, nobody would ever know that he hated your partner. Honestly, he’s the best friend anyone in the world could ask for. 

Before he got around to setting up the bridal shower, which he’d been quietly planning for months, your whole world turned upside down. Johnny cheated, had been cheating awhile, actually, and Jeonghan was there to pick up the pieces. Somehow, he was the only one that seemed to make it better, probably because he didn’t want to act like things were okay when they weren’t. It was easy to cry in front of him, easy to be vulnerable, easy to just let the process play out so you could heal. Even though he never liked Johnny, he also didn’t say he told you so. This had never been something that crossed his mind. 

“Okay, you’re gonna hate it, but I have an idea,” Jeonghan says.

“Those are never comforting words coming from you,” slips out of your mouth.

“Usually I’d yell at you, but…” he trails off. 

“I swear, if you’re about to say that we pretend to be dating like some romcom, I will hang up the phone,” you warn.

“First of all, that’s rude, I’m a great boyfriend,” Jeonghan says. 

“I never said you weren’t, Hannie, you know I think you’re gorgeous,” you sigh. 

“That’s true, I am,” Jeonghan says through a laugh.

“But, I also know you remember what an unmitigated disaster it was when we fucked,” you point out, earning an even louder laugh. 

“Wow, and here I thought that it was actually great sex,” he says. 

“I’m not gonna keep stroking your ego, I already admitted you were gorgeous. I don’t need to praise the sex, too,” you declare.

“Stroking my…come on, you’re making it too easy,” Jeonghan points out.

“Funny, because I remember you being the easy one that night,” you say, finally managing to get a shot in.

“I hate you,” Jeonghan snorts. 

“I know,” you answer. “Didn’t you say that you had an idea?” 

Jeonghan clears his throat. “Right, yeah. Well, I know this guy and maybe he can help you out.” 

“What is he, an escort?” you snort out.

“Do you want my help or not?” Jeonghan asks.

“Yoon Jeonghan, are you about to set me up with an escort?” you challenge.

“No, of course not, just trust me,” he says.

Just trust me might be the three most terrifying words that could come out of Jeonghan’s mouth, especially when you’re not usually on the receiving end of his schemes. It’s not like you have much choice, though. The wedding is in six weeks and you have to find a solution, fast. So, what choice do you have other than trusting your best friend? How could this go wrong? 

You still think this is a terrible idea, yet agree to meet Jeonghan’s friend, Joshua, anyway. Apparently, he’s somewhat new to the area, doesn’t know many people, and is incredibly easy to be around. There’s no mention of why Jeonghan thinks he might be willing to pretend to be your boyfriend. A part of you wonders if your friend even told him, but he’s not that cruel. So, whatever the case, Joshua must at least have some idea of what he’s walking into. 

Several days pass between the nightmare of a call from Johnny and you actually meeting Joshua, which only adds to your anxiety about whether or not this is going to work. Johnny is asking for a name for the seating chart and for dinner selections. Your mom wants to know when they’ll be able to meet this new boyfriend before the wedding (because “meeting him for the first time at a wedding is gauche” and we wouldn’t want that). Your sister is convinced that he doesn’t actually exist since you haven’t posted him on social media. That you can at least answer to say that not everyone posts their entire life online like she does. It doesn’t seem to allay her suspicions, though. 

Then, there’s the fact that you’re actually meeting Joshua for the first time at dinner. All you wanted was to go for coffee, yet he insisted. You couldn’t exactly press the point. Not when you’re planning to ask this stranger to pretend to date you just so that you can avoid the embarrassment at your ex’s wedding. On top of that, because Jeonghan really is a demon at his core, you don’t know what Joshua looks like. Don’t know who to look for. Which leads to you doing the only sensible thing and showing up 5 minutes late for dinner, hoping that he’ll already be at the table when you get there.

It works.

When you give the reservation name at the host stand, you’re immediately led back to a table. Without even thinking about it, you smooth your hands down the front of your dress, looking for a small amount of comfort in this situation. It’s not even that you struggle around new people, this is just…well, it’s a lot. It’s out of anyone’s comfort zone. Whatever you’re expecting, it’s not the man sitting at the table the host leads you to. He nearly stops you in your tracks. 

His black hair is perfectly styled down to the pieces on one side that come down over his forehead. The black dress shirt he wears is open at least one button too many, but he makes the exposed chest look work in a way models would envy. Even though his pants are black as well, he makes it look classic and effortless, rather than too dark. That’s all without even acknowledging the soft smile on his face. This man would break a thousand hearts without even saying a damn word. While you’re appreciating him, you miss the way his eyes rake over you appreciatively. Miss the way his eyes trace your curves and the way the dress clings to you. 

In one fluid motion, he’s standing up to greet you, a gentle kiss placed on your cheek. Is it weird if your knees are a little weak? Well, even if it is, there’s nothing you can do. You’re completely captivated. 

“You must be Joshua,” you say. Brilliant, you think. That’s obvious.

“It’s nice to meet you. Jeonghan had nothing but good things to say,” he answers with another smile as he pulls your seat out for you. 

“I feel like he hardly told me about you,” you respond. Joshua raises a perfect eyebrow at that.

“Then why did you agree to go out with me?” Joshua asks. 

“Go out with…is this a date?” The question comes tumbling out. 

Joshua’s eyes widen in genuine confusion. “Is it not?” 

“What, exactly, did Jeonghan say to you?” 

A lot and nothing at all, it turns out. Joshua tells you about how he’s somewhat new to the area, which you knew. About how he met Jeonghan through work, kind of. They work in the same building doing very different things and happened to run into each other getting coffee a handful of times before Jeonghan introduced himself. The two had hung out several times, something Jeonghan had not really mentioned, and gotten to know each other over drinks more than once. The very first time, Jeonghan had mentioned you and Joshua admits immediately being intrigued without pressing for more information. 

In any case, Jeonghan talked about you pretty freely, a fact that’s hardly surprising. Before Joshua texted you, Jeonghan had mentioned, in what Joshua calls an offhand way, that you were sick of dating the same people. According to Joshua, through Jeonghan, you were looking to possibly be set up. (Read: Jeonghan thinks he’s crafty and isn’t going to come out and tell this man what you’re really looking for. Typical Jeonghan, honestly. You know that “offhand comment” was anything but. And you had the audacity to think Jeonghan would have to tell Joshua what he’s getting into. Rookie move.)

Now you’re in a bit of an awkward situation because this man is honestly gorgeous, one of the prettiest humans you’ve ever met. And, already, he seems like he might be sweet with a pretty good sense of humor. It’s just…well, you’re absolutely not looking for a relationship and this is the last person you want to get involved in your mess. Thankfully, you get a moment to catch your breath when someone comes by to take a drink order and suggest an appetizer. It’s just enough time for you to talk yourself into telling Joshua the real story.

To his credit, he only looks mildly surprised as you outline your whole situation, inform him that yes, Jeonghan does know all of this, and clarify why you didn’t actually realize it was a date. It’s hard to miss the way his eyes seem to sparkle a bit when you also admit that he’s absolutely stunning in a way that hurts your feelings. Easier to miss is the way his face barely falls when you say that you’re not actually looking for something right now. Interesting. 

“So that’s the whole thing and now that I’ve embarrassed myself in front of you, I’m sure you’ll understand if we never see each other after tonight,” you finish.

“How am I supposed to go to a wedding as your boyfriend in a matter of weeks if we don’t see each other after tonight?” Joshua wonders.

“I…what?” you sputter out. 

“Well, sure, we need to work out a few details, but I’m game,” Joshua says with a shrug.

“I’m sorry, I think I’m just really confused?” You don’t even have food yet and this is already the most interesting date you’ve been on, possibly ever. 

“I, uh, may have left a part of my past out when I was sharing what Jeonghan knew about me,” Joshua says. “And honestly, I can’t believe I didn’t catch it or that he did this. I’d be mad if I wasn’t so impressed by how crafty it was.” 

“I’m going to need you to connect some dots for me,” you admit. “Oh and also never tell Jeonghan you appreciate him being crafty. His ego is too big as it is.”

“The first time Jeonghan and I hung out, we went out for drinks, got a little wasted, and I told him about how I got through my university studies without any debts,” Joshua says, pausing long enough for someone to set the appetizer down. “He’s observant, Jeonghan, I’ll give him that. He noticed I had designer clothes, shoes, that kind of thing. And he noticed I didn’t pay attention to the prices of the drinks. So I made a vague comment about being lucky to have found a way through my studies without taking out loans.”

“I’m sure he asked you about that, he loves it when he thinks there’s a scheme,” you note with a smile.

“You’re right about that,” Joshua agrees. “So I, well I told him. When I was in school, I met this woman out one night and she paid me to go to events with her. She wanted, and these were her words, ‘someone young and hot’ with her. And the next four years, that’s what I did. I let people pay for me to go to events with them. Never more than that. I was clear that I wasn’t selling sex or anything, just company.” 

You lean back in your seat with an appraising look. “An entrepreneur from the beginning.” 

“Hey, no judgment,” Joshua says. All you can do is smile.

“I’m not judging, that was really smart and you’re obviously attractive enough for it,” you acknowledge.

“Thank you,” Joshua says. It doesn’t have the air of cockiness Jeonghan’s answer would. He actually seems sincere in accepting the compliment. 

“But, I’m still not going to pay you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” you say, even if it’s a bit reluctant. 

“I wasn’t asking you to,” Joshua shrugs. “You don’t have to pay me.”

“Why would you offer to pretend to do something like this? You don’t even know me,” you point out.

“No, I don’t. But, you seem like a good person. And I like Jeonghan, he’s nice…” Joshua says, stopping when you try to cover a scoff. 

“Nice?” you question when you’re caught.

“Wrong word choice,” Joshua dismisses. “He seems like the kind of person that’s a loyal friend, like he would go into battle to protect you. Like someone you can actually trust.”

“He is all of those things, yeah,” you admit.

“And if those things are true, then him holding you out as his best friend means you’re probably all of those things too,” Joshua reasons. 

“I try to be,” you agree. 

“Plus, Jeonghan did mention you had seriously dated someone that was pretty rich, so I figure it’s probably the guy getting married and it’ll be a nice wedding,” Joshua says with a smile. The joke is obvious by the look in his eyes.

“It’s interesting that he mentioned Johnny, that’s my ex, being rich,” you idly comment.

“Is he not?” Joshua wonders.

“Jeonghan is a lot of things, but he’d never lie to his friends,” you answer first. “So, yeah, he is. Well, his family is at least. His mom and mine run a lot of events together, like galas and shit. That’s how we all know each other.”

“Are you rich, too?” Joshua wonders. There’s that little twinkle of something in his eyes again, but there’s also sincerity.

“I’m still not paying you,” you retort.

“Fine,” Joshua agrees. 

You roll your eyes. “Okay, so what’s the plan?” 

There’s a weird world’s colliding feeling to having both Jeonghan and Joshua in your apartment. But, Jeonghan doesn’t like to be left out of things. Once you told him that you and Joshua both knew about his scheming, he offered to help in any way he could. Which is likely just so he’s included. You’ll take what you can get. Now, it means that he and Joshua are sitting on your couch, scrolling through pictures on Joshua’s phone to decide what to include in an instagram post. That’s the first step you and Joshua agreed on. If you’re going to sell this whole fake relationship, then your sister actually is right. There has to be some sort of proof of it online. Which also means that your post has to talk about how you’ve been keeping it quiet and just enjoying getting to know each other without any pressure. Jeonghan takes credit for that, even if you got there on your own. 

“I think I like this one,” Jeonghan says and turns the phone around to show you. 

“Why that one?” you ask. 

“Why not? Don’t you like it?” Joshua worries.

“I don’t know, I feel like my hand is doing something weird,” you point out.

“You look great,” Joshua assures you.

“Oh, ew, you’re not really dating,” Jeonghan complains. 

“You do know you’re going to have to stop saying that, right?” you ask.

“Maybe I didn’t know either,” Jeonghan shrugs.

“No, I’m with her, you’re her best friend and you definitely would’ve known,” Joshua agrees. 

“Why are you on her side already?” Jeonghan whines.

“Because she’s cool and she’s not the one who knew what I did in college and set me up,” Joshua says with a laugh. 

This is how it’s been going for the last hour. You’re not really much for putting a lot of effort into your posts, so this all feels like too much. But, you know that it’s important for it to feel real and it’s important to get it right. You’re honestly pretty happy to just let the guys take the lead and go with the flow of it all. There are going to be plenty of opportunities for you to take the lead. You’re going to take your breaks where you can. 

(That had also meant not putting up too much of a fight when Jeonghan told you to bring multiple outfits with you. Or when you had to change your hairstyle and makeup between the photos so it looked like they hadn’t all been taken the same day. Honestly, this was so much easier for Joshua. Then again, he’s the one doing you a favor. So maybe you can let him have it.)

After you finally get your couple pictures posted, and get a flurry of messages ranging from surprise to congratulations, you move onto preparing Joshua to meet your parents, your sister, and her husband. Jeonghan is actually a lot of help with that because he’s been around them a lot. Well, he’s helpful after he tries to scare Joshua about how intimidating it’s going to be only to give up when Joshua is unbothered. He’s so calm about everything that it’s actually kind of nice to be around. And he has no problem firing back at Jeonghan, which is really fun to watch. 

You go through what your parents are like, what they do both for work and as hobbies. Joshua perks up at the mention of your dad loving music and sometimes spending his weekends just exploring new venues. It seems like there might be more to that, though you don’t press when he waves it off. It’s different when you talk about your sister, two years younger and already married. Not that you’re dying to be married or even care that she got married before you. That’s always seemed like a weird societal expectation, anyway. What does it matter when anyone gets married? If it’s their right person, then it makes sense. You being upset over your failed engagement really doesn’t have anything to do with your sister’s marriage, despite her instance it does. 

It becomes obvious that you’re losing Jeonghan’s attention when you turn down his request to start playing games or watch a movie. It’s not that you don’t want to do those things, it’s just that you have a lot to cover in far less time than you realized. Sure, the wedding is still weeks away. What’s not weeks away is your first dinner with your family. That’s going to be around the corner. The least you could do, you figured, was plan a time before posting pictures on instagram. So, Jeonghan asks if it’s okay to leave and you almost sigh in relief. This will be easier without an extra person.

“Not to pry, but what’s the deal with you and Jeonghan?” Joshua asks when you settle back on the couch with a glass of wine. 

“What do you mean?” you ask.

“I don’t know, I feel like I was picking up on something,” Joshua shrugs.

“We’re really just friends,” you assure him.

“Sometimes those are the best…” Joshua starts.

“Don’t,” you cut off. He worries for a second before he realizes you’re smiling. “We did try. Not so much a try, I guess, but we slept together maybe 6 months after Johnny and I broke it off and it just wasn’t it.” 

“You and him slept together?” Joshua questions.

“Is that weird for you?” you ask.

“No, it’s just interesting that you’re still so close,” Joshua observes.

“I guess,” you say with a shrug. “He’s great, obviously attractive, but we just, I don’t know. I didn’t feel anything. Neither did he. So, staying friends seemed like the right choice.”

“Interesting,” is all Joshua says. “Have you dated anyone seriously since Johnny?” 

“Not that seriously, no,” you admit. “I’ve gone on dates with different people and some of them stuck around for a bit, but nothing serious.” 

“Not finding the right people?” Joshua presses.

“I just haven’t found anyone that made me feel like Johnny did at the beginning or even like I did when he proposed,” you say. 

“I can understand that, even if I don’t really get it. You’re gorgeous, anyone would be lucky,” he says smoothly. You cover a blush with a slight eye roll. 

“I guess that’s why most of my close friends will also believe that I kept a new relationship on the low. They saw me post-Johnny and have seen me try to date,” you share.

“Yeah that’s good for us, at least,” Joshua agrees.

“What about you, though? When was your last relationship?” you ask.

“Ah, well it’s been a little over a year,” Joshua says. 

“Bad ending?” you wonder. You’re not sure why you press him on it.

“It wasn’t great,” Joshua says with a chuckle. “She, uh, well she decided that she just really would rather be with one of my friends than with me.”

“I’m so sorry you went through that,” you say, suddenly sorry.

“No, no, it’s fine,” he says. “She didn’t actually cheat on me, but she had started getting close to him and sharing everything with him.”

“Arguably worse, in my opinion. Emotional cheating is still a thing,” you say, trying to offer comfort. 

“Thank you,” Joshua says. His eyes are soft and full of care. “And, like you, I have dated since then, just nothing worth talking about.” 

It’s an easy transition from that into talking about your backgrounds. Like speed dating, except somehow more intense. You learn Joshua’s birthday, his parents names, that he’s an only child, and where he grew up. Nothing is too small and you joke about taking notes before you actually go to get a notebook. Joshua tells you his favorite color and his favorite food, tells you about his favorite memories, favorite places where he grew up, and favorite places he’s found since moving here. There’s a way that his face lights up when he talks about his friends that’s drawing you in. You tell him the same. That all feels a little surface level, which you point out. If this is going to work, it has to be deeper, more serious. 

That’s when something seems to almost break down. Joshua suggests that you tell each other the deep stuff, the things that you don’t always admit to someone you’re dating. Or, maybe you admit it and don’t get into the reasons why. When Joshua goes first and admits that he’s happiest when he’s playing his guitar, even if nobody else is listening, his whole face changes. It’s like a completely different version of him. He’s got an open face as it is, that hasn’t changed, but you realize maybe he’s a little guarded behind the smile as well. Maybe there really is more depth than he wants anyone to realize. Maybe this is going to be more interesting than you thought.

“Can I hear you play?” you ask. His face is adorable with his eyes full of surprise.

“You want to hear me play?” There’s an emotion you can’t place when he looks at you.

“I love music, too, Joshua,” you say softly. “I’d love to see what you’re passionate about.”

“Oh, well, I usually play at this acoustic night on Thursdays at a coffee shop downtown,” Joshua tells you.

“You do? That’s so cute!” you say before second guessing it. He looks away like he’s a little embarrassed and you worry for a split second.

“I’d love it if you came by,” he says.

“It’s a shame that we can’t say that’s where we met,” you admit.

“Wait, that would be a good idea, actually,” Joshua says and you smile. 

“It would be, but I also know events like that. It’s always a similar crowd so I’m sure someone will know that I’ve never been,” you reason. 

“Fair point,” Joshua concedes. 

“Why don’t we just say we met on a dating app?” you suggest and Joshua pulls up his face. “Okay, I know apps are lame and honestly, I don’t use them much. But, think about it. That’s the perfect reason why we didn’t bring it up until now, we didn’t want to answer the ‘where did you meet’ question by saying an app.” 

“Okay, yeah, I do actually like that because it’s easy and it doesn’t feel like a wild story,” Joshua says. 

“What about your parents?” you ask. “Do we need to make plans to meet them if you’re also posting about me?” 

“We can figure that out, but they live pretty far away so it would probably just be over FaceTime or something,” he says.

“I also understand if you don’t want to do that because we’re just pretending,” you suggest. 

“No, it’d be cool to have you meet them. Even if the relationship isn’t real, I’d like to be friends for real, so that’s not a total lie,” Joshua reasons. 

“I’d like to be friends too,” you agree. “How long have you been living here, now?” 

“Oh, um, like 8 months?” Joshua says like a question.

“I was figuring like a month or two with the way Jeonghan talks about you,” you laugh. 

“You’ve been friends with him for years, you’re not actually surprised,” Joshua points out. 

“Okay so now I guess we have to figure out when we started dating,” you comment.

“And everything else, but we can do it,” Joshua says. 

You’re a little nervous sitting on your couch waiting for Joshua to show up. Even though you offered to pick him up for dinner with your family tonight, he insisted on being the one to drive. Of course he’s right on time, which you’re already realizing is a trait of his. He’s even a gentleman when he opens the door for you, just like he pulled the chair out the first time you met for the date-not-date. As you put your seatbelt on, you notice that there are a few things in the backseat. 

“What’s all that?” you ask as he slides into the driver’s seat. 

“Flowers for your mom, a bottle of scotch for your dad, and a cheese board for your sister because you said they just moved and she likes to host,” Joshua lists off as if it’s nothing.

“You did not have to get things for all of them,” you point out. 

“Of course I did, but I also wanted to. I’m trying to make a good impression,” he says, making your heart a little light.

“That’s so kind,” you whisper out.

“Oh, I thought of something else,” Joshua shifts. You’re worried you made him uncomfortable until he speaks again. “Are you a pet name person in relationships?”

That makes you snort, something that would embarrass you in any other situation. It’s not the first time he’s heard it, though. “That depends on what you want to call me.”

“That’s a dangerous way to say that,” Joshua answers. His eyes are still on the road, yet you don’t miss the way he reacts.

“I don’t like overly cutesy names,” you say to diffuse a little bit of the moment. “Like, I don’t know, if you want to call me sugarplum or honeybunch or something like that, please don’t.”

“You’re just giving me ideas to take away my fun,” he pouts.

“Well, what were you thinking of calling me? Or are you even a pet name person?” you ask.

“I do like them,” Joshua says. “I’m not sure that I have a go-to or anything. For you, I might say angel or possibly darling.”

“I think I prefer angel, if I’m allowed to pick,” you say after a moment.

“Of course,” Joshua replies. Studying his face, you’re looking for a hint of mocking or insincerity, but there’s nothing to find. This is just him.

“Do you want me to use a pet name for you?” you wonder.

“I’d happily take one, no pressure, though,” he says. 

“I’ll have to think about it,” you tell him. “Something generic like babe doesn’t feel right.”

“Are you saying I’m special?” Now you can hear the light teasing in his voice. 

“I take it back, any more compliments are going to go to your head,” you huff out. 

As you get closer to your parents’ house, you start to bounce your knee with an excess of nervous energy. It’s not until Joshua reaches a hand out to take one of yours that you’re even sure you’re doing it. There’s something calming about it, though. Nothing about him reaching out feels like he’s trying to stop you, just show that you’re not alone in this. Which is more than welcome. The last person you brought to meet your parents was Johnny. Given how that ended and why Joshua is around in the first place, it’s not exactly the most comforting thought.

Once you pull up to their house, you take a deep breath. It’s only to settle your rising nerves, but it also serves to give Joshua enough time to come and open your door. Even though you’ve told him that he doesn’t need to be this sweet, he insists. Without saying a word, he holds out a hand to help you out of the car. Instead of dropping your hand once you’re out, he uses it to pull you into him and wraps his arms around you. There’s this immediate sense of comfort, like you have actually been dating for months. You inhale his cologne without meaning to, something warm and woodsy. 

“It’s going to be fine, parents love me,” he assures you when you pull away.

“I don’t doubt that,” you say, releasing the breath you were holding and your tension with it. 

“So come on, my little granola wrapper, let’s go,” Joshua says as he lets you go to get the gifts out of his backseat. 

It takes you a full few seconds to register what came out of his mouth. “I’m sorry, what did you just call me?” 

“Is that not the one?” he asks, eyes alight with some kind of mischief. 

“I’m not going to encourage this,” you huff.

“Whatever you say, jellybean,” he throws out casually. 

The second you step into the house, you see exactly what Joshua means. Your mother is fawning over him in a matter of seconds, your father is making plans to show him his records, your sister’s husband is asking when they can go out for drinks, and your sister even holds back the snark. All during the course of the pre-dinner drinks and largely, you think, due to the gifts that Joshua brought. He had a reason for the meaning behind the type of flowers for your mother, a favorite musician who swore by the scotch for your dad, and even bought the cheese board from a small business that customized things. 

Dinner comes along and you still feel like you’ve barely said anything with Joshua masterfully steering the conversation. He even makes it sound good that you met on an app, with his improvised story of wanting to meet people in a new city. According to him, he wasn’t expecting to meet someone like you and was done for the second he saw you sitting at dinner. It’s something real, that you met him for dinner the first time at a fancy downtown restaurant. And you realize you never actually asked what his impression was that first night. More than once, you catch yourself watching his profile as he talks to one of your family members. Everything about him is at ease and you wonder if it really is all fake. Not that you think anything about him is disingenuous, he’s just really good at making people like him. 

The only hiccup doesn’t come until your mother is pulling out dessert. According to your sister, she’s got an excellent pie in the refrigerator that you simply have to try. You’re about to say something when Joshua beats you to it. 

“I don’t think my little sugarplum likes fruit pies, but it sounds amazing and I’d love a piece,” Joshua interjects smoothly. 

Your sister nearly spits out her drink, whether it’s at the nickname or him speaking up for you, you’re not sure. In any other situation, you would scold him for the name, but you’re a little stunned he remembers you don’t like pie. It came up once in a rapid fire of likes and dislikes. 

“You’re right, she doesn’t,” your sister agrees. “I’d almost forgotten.” 

(That’s when you’re sure it was another of your sister’s tests. Trying to catch you in some kind of lie about your relationship. But, it doesn’t work and you feel a little victorious for that.)

The doorbell rings through the house and you look to your mother, silently asking if she’s expecting someone. It’s unusual for them to have company calling this late on a Friday night. It’s usually reserved for dinners with friends or family or galas. Unsurprisingly, your mother doesn’t seem to know who it could be, but disappears to answer the door all the same. When a voice drifts through from the hallway, you freeze on the spot.

“I really just came by to drop that off for my mom, I didn’t realize it was so late. I’d hate to intrude on dessert,” the guest says. 

“Nonsense, you’re not interrupting,” your mother insists. 

“I saw an unfamiliar car, so I figured you might have guests,” he says as they come through the doorway into the living area. 

Your heart stutters a little in your chest, feels heavier for seeing him. Somehow he looks taller and broader than the last time you saw him. He’s wearing his hair shorter and he looks more mature, somehow, like he’s seen so much more of the world than when you were together. Which is probably true, if you think about it. It’s been a couple years and that means he’s had more time working with his father. 

“That would be my car,” Joshua says, getting to his feet immediately and extending his hand. “I’m Joshua.” 

“Johnny,” he answers and shakes Joshua’s hand. Yet, his face looks a little tense and his eyes mostly stay on you. 

“It’s just family,” your mother shares, though Johnny can obviously see that himself, “since our darling daughter finally brought Joshua around to meet us.” 

“I’m glad she did, dinner was wonderful and the company was even better,” Joshua says with a smile at your mother. She nearly blushes at his compliment. 

“Oh, hush,” your mother says with a wave of her hand. “I was just getting some pie if you’d like to stay for a piece, Johnny. Although, I’d hate to keep you from home.”

Joshua sits back down next to you, a little closer than is strictly necessary, and puts his arm along the back of the couch behind you. You feel safe pressed up against his side like that. Johnny clears his throat when he looks away from the pair of you. “Gabby has been out of town all week, actually, so I’m going back to an empty home anyway. I’d love to stay for a piece of your famous cherry pie.” 

“Great!” your mother says and disappears off into the kitchen. 

“What’s got Gabby away?” your sister asks. 

“Just a conference,” Johnny answers. “There was a final banquet tonight and she’ll be home tomorrow.” 

“She’s busy, away this week, bachelorette next weekend,” she says offhand. 

“Keeping tabs on when everything is?” you ask of your sister. She looks at you like you’re crazy and Johnny looks awkward.

“No, I was invited to it,” your sister answers evenly. 

Before you can even answer, Joshua is speaking up. Probably sensing your discomfort. After all, you hadn’t gotten to tell him that Johnny’s fiance is friends with your younger sister. They had gone to school together and been close. Stealing her sister’s fiancée doesn’t seem to have impacted the friendship. 

“You must be excited with the big day getting so close,” Joshua says. He moves his arm from behind you so that he can take your hand on your thigh. It makes you look down at your hands before glancing at him, only to find his gaze on you already. It also means you miss the way Johnny follows the movement. 

“Uh, yeah, I mean, I’m definitely excited. It’s just been a lot of planning,” Johnny says. 

“I bet,” Joshua says. “Thank you so much for inviting me, I know how stressful changes can be.” 

“It’s no problem, I’m happy you’ll both be there,” Johnny says. 

With almost a practiced subtlety, Joshua squeezes your hand. There’s so much in that one movement. A reassurance, a reminder to breathe, a reminder that he’s there, a promise that everything is going to be okay. Your heart hurts seeing Johnny sitting in the living room so casually as if nothing happened, but it doesn’t hurt as much as you expected. Maybe that has something to do with this impossibly kind, completely idiotic person next to you. You also can’t help the way your gaze lands on him. Just in profile, at first, before he senses your look and turns to you with a dazzling smile. It’s like there’s nobody else in the world but the two of you.

The conversation shifts slightly when your mother comes back in with a tray full of pie slices and your father comes back with whatever record he was looking for to show Joshua. Just like that, you survive your first in-person interaction with Johnny. Actually come out of it feeling like you might be able to handle this. The smile you send Joshua while he’s eating his pie is so fond that you’re not even sure who you are. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t call me last night,” Jeonghan says in lieu of a hello.

“Hello to you too, I’m good, thanks for asking,” you retort.

“Greetings are for people who remember their best friends, not for people who send a single sentence recap after bringing their fake boyfriend home to meet the family,” Jeonghan states immediately.

“That’s a very long rule,” you note.

“Deserved, though,” Jeonghan says.

“I was tired, Han, it was a long night,” you explain.

“A long night where your ex showed up,” he reminds you.

“That actually wasn’t so bad,” you admit. “Joshua made it feel pretty easy.”

“Oh did he now?” 

You don’t have to be in the same room as Jeonghan to hear the expression on his face when he says that. “It was just easy, Jeonghan, nothing more than that.”

“What did your parents think?” he asks, switching gears.

“They loved him, like actually loved him. My mom was enamored and kept calling him handsome. My dad was talking about music with him and making plans to go check out some acoustic music venue. Even the ice queen couldn’t find anything to fault him for,” you share.

“She’s less of an ice queen and more of a mean girl and a bitch,” Jeonghan adds.

“You said it,” you mumble.

“I mean, come on, who thinks it’s okay for their friend to sleep with their sister’s fiancé? And then stays friends with the girl?” Jeonghan gets really defensive with this. He would ride for you to the ends of the world, which you do love. Just not today. 

“I don’t wanna relive that whole thing, it’s done and over. Nothing to do now,” you say, weariness seeping into your voice.

“Would you want to do anything about it?” Jeonghan asks.

“What do you mean?” You answer the question with a question.

“Like would you want to go back to when you were with Johnny?” Jeonghan asks.

You think about it for half a second. “No.” 

“That was fast,” Jeonghan comments.

“What’s there to go back to? He made his choice and I’m fine, honestly. It was weird seeing him and hearing him talk about his wedding, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought,” you say.

“Is that because of your Prince Charming?” Your best friend, always doing the most, puts this question into a sing-song voice. 

“He’s not a Prince Charming. You’re so annoying,” you scoff. 

“I don’t know, he sure seems to be saving you,” Jeonghan presses. 

“I can’t with…” you start, trailing off at the knock on your door.

“Who’s there?” Jeonghan asks. 

“No clue,” you answer, getting off your couch to go see. 

“I bet it’s Prince Charming,” Jeonghan laughs out.

“Would you fuck…” you begin as you open the door to find the very subject of your conversation on the other side, “off.”

“I’m right aren’t I?” Jeonghan is nearly shrieking with glee.

“Sorry, gotta go,” you say.

“Oh no, no, no,” Jeonghan tries.

You’re stepping aside to let Joshua into your apartment. “I’ll see you tomorrow for brunch.”

“Let me know if I need to add one more to the reservation,” Jeonghan says. 

“Goodbye,” you say with an eye roll Jeonghan can’t see, but will surely hear. You hang up as soon as he also says goodbye.

“Jeonghan?” Joshua guesses.

“Unfortunately,” you confirm. 

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting,” Joshua says. It’s nothing like when someone says it out of forced courtesy. He actually seems like he’s making sure he’s not intruding. 

“No, not at all, I just wasn’t expecting you,” you admit. 

“Sometimes that’s the best time to come over,” Joshua says with a shrug.

“Does that mean you have a plan?” you wonder.

“Yup,” Joshua says.

“Gonna tell me what it is?” you ask.

“Nope,” he says with a concerning smile, popping the end of nope. “Go put on something comfortable but with layers. And we’re not going hiking or anything like that.” 

An hour later, you’re pulling off the road in an area you’ve never been to, even with as long as you’ve lived here. The views are instantly enough to take your breath away. You can see the whole city below you, all the bustle of traffic and skyscrapers. Somewhere, you know there are people rushing to and fro, too busy to stop and appreciate what’s around them. Straight ahead, you can see the way the low clouds glide around, splitting around the very tops of the buildings. It’s beautiful and it also makes you realize just how small you are. 

While you’ve been appreciating the views in front of you, Joshua has been gathering his supplies from the trunk. By the time you turn around, he’s laying a blanket and basket down on the ground in front of the car. 

“Is this…did you set up a picnic?” you ask.

“I wanted to show you this place and figured some food might be nice,” he says with an easy smile. 

“That’s so sweet,” you say earnestly.

You settle on the blanket next to him and look through the food he’s pulling out. There are some of your favorite things and some things you’re not even sure you’ve seen before. Somehow, though, you feel like they might become some of your new favorites. He even brought plates and he sets about putting one together for you to pick at.

Joshua tells you about how this is his favorite place and he found it completely by accident. He loves being down in the city and around all the people, but there’s something nice about seeing things from this perspective too. It’s like he can just disconnect for a while. Turn off his phone. Read or listen to music. Just be totally alone. It’s how he works through a problem or gets the perspective he needs.

“I can’t believe you’re sharing it with me,” you admit and his eyes light up with his smile.

“I just thought, after last night, you might appreciate having a place to get away from it all,” Joshua says.

You want to say something, anything, really, to acknowledge what Joshua just said. Try to say something. Your throat doesn’t want to cooperate, it seems. Your brain, either. In fact, all you can manage to do is turn away to hide the tears. Joshua is observant, though. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls you into his chest and runs his hand along your back. He quietly soothes you as you cry out a lot of emotions you didn’t even realize you were experiencing. 

And something about him comforting you, this near stranger who doesn’t actually owe you anything, sets you off more. In the early days of your relationship with Johnny, you know it was good. It must have been. Surely, it was more than a relationship between two people who had known each other for years with families that were intertwined. You don’t remember it anymore. Don’t remember him ever holding you like this without even knowing what was wrong. Don’t remember him taking you on a date like this just because he thought you would enjoy it. Since you haven’t seriously dated anyone since the break-up, he also feels like your only frame of reference. That makes you sad for an entirely different reason. Who loses it over someone just being a little kind?

“I’m so sorry,” you finally say when you manage to pull yourself together. 

“For what?” he asks. 

“For just crying like that and being such a mess,” you say. 

Joshua shakes his head. Moves his hand up to your face and waits for confirmation that it’s okay. When you nod, he gently wipes the tears from under your eyes. “You have nothing to apologize for. What you’re going through with your ex, most of us could never even imagine that kind of pain.”

“But still, you barely know me and here you are trying to be kind and all I can do is cry,” you say. 

“First of all, I think last night and the food I put together show I’ve actually learned a lot about you in a short time,” he says and you have to laugh at that. He’s right. “Second, I’m just happy you feel safe enough with me to cry. It’s not healthy to hold all that in. You’re not in this alone.”

That brings you up short more than anything. He’s right, again (an annoying habit, if you’re being honest). You don’t feel any hesitation around him. Nothing to stop you from crying if you feel like crying. That’s unusual, to say the least. Normally, you’ll do anything to avoid anyone seeing you emotional. But, this man you just met is different. He’s safe. You’re not sure how or why, but you know you can trust him. 

“Are you free tomorrow for brunch?” you ask. Joshua gives you a quizzical look for a moment at the sudden topic change. 

“Yeah, why?” he asks. 

“I just need to send one quick text and then I want to do what you said you normally do here. Disconnect from the world and just appreciate the afternoon,” you say and find yourself smiling along with his smile. He really is so beautiful. 

You: add one to the reservation for brunch tomorrow and i’ll call you tonight when i’m home

You switch your phone into Do Not Disturb before the response comes and turn all your attention back to Joshua. 

Over the next couple weeks, Joshua slips seamlessly into your life and your existing friendships. Some of them, like those closest to you that come along to the Sunday brunches, know the whole story. It’s not like they would believe you had kept a relationship secret for that long, anyway. And it’s good to have a few extra sets of eyes and ears helping to sell the story. Other friends get the same story that your family and Johnny got. It’s not that you don’t trust them, you do. It’s more important to keep the circle of people who know the real story as small as possible, though, so that it actually succeeds. All your friends adore him from the second they meet him. The only surprise is how well Jeonghan seems to be adjusting to sharing your time. He wants to give you a hard time, yet he doesn’t. 

You meet all Joshua’s friends and coworkers, too. It feels way easier than it should the first time you join him and his coworkers after work for drinks. They spend most of the time giving Joshua a hard time that he’s kept you to himself for so long. It’s easy to fall into step and you find that you do know him a lot better than you think. So, it’s just as easy for you to jump in when they’re giving him a hard time. He pretends to be annoyed, but you can tell by the way he smiles that he likes it. It’s one of those genuine smiles that makes his eyes bigger and brighter. Everything just feels…easy. Like this whole thing wasn’t actually a bad idea after all. 

Your favorite part might be the first time you got with him to an Open Mic Night and get to see him play. He’s got that easy kind of confidence on the guitar. Like he knows he’s talented, but not in a cocky way. It’s his singing that catches you off guard. His voice moves over the notes with an ease that makes you wonder why this isn’t something he’s doing for a living. He’s got this way of pulling you into songs that you don’t even know. And he’s so kind with the people that show up just to see him play. They all seem just as happy to meet you and know that he’s happy. 

There’s only been one part that’s been difficult. Not difficult, exactly, but not as comfortable as some of the other things. While you and Joshua talked through anything and everything to prepare to start a fake relationship, you covered comfort levels with physical affection. You both say you’re comfortable with physical touch, though he seems to seek it out more than you do. That includes at least some level of PDA as a couple. You’ve never really been one to just randomly make out with a partner in public, but you’ve never been shy about expressing affection either. It was fine, when it was all theoretical. 

In actual practice, it’s been a little more difficult. The first time Joshua had pressed a kiss to the side of your head while you were out with people that didn’t know it was fake caught you off guard. It shouldn’t have, he asked before doing it and you confirmed it was fine. What you hadn’t been entirely prepared for was how it would feel when he did it. Or how it would feel that he was so casual about it, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like it wasn’t making you rethink everything in your life. 

Tonight, you’re hanging out with friends at Hyejin’s house. You and her have been friends since before you even started school. So, she knows what’s really going on with Joshua. Your other friends there, though, are mostly not in on it. Which is fine. You’re shockingly comfortable with the song and dance. 

It’s not actually fine. 

It starts the same as any other time you’ve been out somewhere with him. You’re sitting close together on the couch, thighs pressed together, with his arm behind you along the back of the couch. Periodically, his fingers play with the sleeve of your shirt. It’s an absentminded habit and you’re used to it. He’s usually keeping some sort of contact with you in a very subtle way. You learned right away that he did like physical touch, but it was rarely something obvious. One drink in and his affection got a little more obvious. Arm wrapped firmly around you. More kisses pressed to the side of your head. 

Two drinks in and it changes again. He removes his arm from around you in favor of holding your hand. Playing with your fingers while he’s having other conversations, like he doesn’t even realize. Hand squeezing your thigh. Or tracing patterns into the material of your pants. Head dropping down on your shoulder when he’s not talking to someone else. And it’s definitely not fine. You’re nursing your drink, but even if you weren’t, his constant presence would sober you. Since you’ve just finally finished your first, you think maybe a second is a good idea.

It’s not. Joshua gets another drink, his third, and you decline. Instead, you stick with the water you’ve been drinking since you couldn’t even finish your second. You want to be able to respond, whatever happens. Respond to whatever new form of affection unlocks with this next drink. 

“I hope you stick around, you’re my favorite of the partners that we’ve met,” Mimi announces to Joshua when he plops back down next to you. 

You’re glad that you hadn’t taken a sip because it would’ve come out immediately. Mimi has been a friend for a long time as well, and you love her, but she doesn’t know the truth. 

“Don’t I know it,” Joshua agrees, earning a lot of laughter. 

“Have you met Johnny yet? I know you’re going to the wedding,” Taehyung wonders. 

“Yeah Johnny showed up magically the night I brought him by to meet my parents, sister, and brother-in-law,” you say, regaining some composure. 

“I think you traded up,” Joshua says, eyes laser focused on you. 

You’re not so lucky this time and you just took a sip. You nearly choke. “Do you?”

“Definitely,” Joshua insists. 

“I agree,” Jimin says and Mimi elbows him in the side. “What?”

“You’re going to the wedding,” she says. 

“So? He’s a fucking tool,” Jimin shrugs off. 

“Are you all going, then?” Joshua asks. 

“A good portion of us, yeah,” Hyejin says. “Family connections, you know?” 

“I wasn’t invited,” Mimi pouts. 

“Want to come?” Taehyung asks and Mimi laughs. 

“Tae, my love, you can’t just invite people,” Mimi says and shakes her head. 

“I have a plus-one,” Taehyung says with a shrug. “I think we all knew I wouldn’t make it to the wedding in my relationship. But, Johnny still thinks I’m bringing someone.”

“Damn, okay. I’m in,” Mimi says. 

“I’m not going either, my family ties weren’t enough to get an invite,” Jeonghan says without any sorrow in his eyes. 

“That’s because of what you said to him after the break up,” Hyejin interrupts with a laugh. 

“I don’t remember saying anything that bad,” Jeonghan shrugs, and examines his finger nails to show how little he cares. 

“Remind me to show you what he said some time, it was fucking gold,” Hyejin says to Joshua.

“Do you have it saved?” you ask.

“I should have it framed, honestly,” Hyejin says. “Get you a best friend like Jeonghan, for real, for real.” 

“Hey, that’s my best friend, get your own,” you joke. 

“That’s a shame you won’t be there though, Han, I could’ve used the familiar face,” Joshua says.

“Like you’re going to be paying attention to anyone but your date,” Hyejin teases. 

“Can you blame me? I still can’t believe how lucky I got,” Joshua says without any hint that he’s pretending. It makes your heart skip a couple beats as you try to catch your breath. 

“Ugh, I’m so single,” Mimi whines. 

“Maybe not after the wedding,” Hyejin teases. 

The conversations devolve from there into separate, smaller chats. Joshua is back to tracing patterns into your leg. Without warning, he pops his head up and places a quick peck on your lips before dropping his head onto your shoulder again. He’s so nonchalant about it that you’re not really sure it even happened. You’ve kissed a couple times like that, quick pecks in public. But, it’s always been when you’ve talked about it. It isn’t until you look up to meet Jeonghan’s eyes that you know it all really happened. 

Joshua, unaware that he’s just turned your world a little upside down, moves his head to look at you again. “You’re beautiful, you know.”

It’s barely a whisper and you know he’s not drunk. He’s not sober either, though. And you’ve had drinks around each other before. He’s just never been quite so glued to your side or free with the compliments. You’re also not usually so singularly focused on him. A fact that doesn’t go entirely unnoticed. 

“Thank you,” you whisper back. 

“I’m kinda hungry,” he continues in a bit of a whine. 

“Well you were the one who thought skipping dinner was smart,” you tease him. 

“But my little honeybunch,” he teases back. You snort and miss the way several of your friends watch the interaction because they know how you are about weird pet names. 

“Try again, sweetheart,” you answer. 

“Sweetheart, I like the way that sounds,” he says, distracted. 

“Just a little longer and we can leave and get something to eat,” you say and he sighs. 

“Fine,” he concedes and kisses your cheek, just barely a whisper away from the corner of your mouth. 

About half an hour later, you say your goodbyes. Despite your suggestions, Joshua continued drinking instead of switching to water. It’s as fine as it can be, though. He’s just an affectionate drinker. He wraps an arm around you, slipping a hand into your back pocket so that he can whisper thanks again. You do your best to shrug it off and let him drape his arms around your shoulder instead. 

The car ride is quiet, initially. You pick a playlist that he made for you after you first met. Something he seems to enjoy. You’re nearly back at his place when he says that he doesn’t have anything to eat. But, luckily, there’s a place around the corner that he loves that’s still open. He manages to place an order on the app, gets something for you as well, and pays before getting there. All you have to do is walk in. 

“I hope you’ll come in and eat with me,” he says when you get back into the car. 

You’re not really sure how to tell him that you don’t want to. Not because you don’t want to spend time with him. Or that you don’t appreciate him ordering something he knows you’ll like. No, it’s so much deeper than that. It’s that you don’t know if your heart can handle it. You’ve got a couple more weeks of this and your heart is taking a beating. All of this is fake. It’ll be over after the wedding. But, the compliments don’t feel fake. The kisses don’t feel fake. The affection doesn’t feel fake. Your heart racing is real, oh so real. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you’re in way too deep. 

None of that comes out, though. 

“Sure, sweetheart,” you say and hold your breath for a second. You hadn’t meant to say that when it was just you. 

Joshua smiles over at you. “Really do like that.” 

Does he know what he’s doing to you? Can he hear your heart hammering in your chest? Can he hear your breath catch? Does he know how insanely beautiful he is? Or that he’s all the more beautiful because he’s so unfailingly kind? 

Probably not, because he gets distracted and starts singing along as the song changes. It’s welcome, but also a little devastating. His voice cuts through you in a way you’re still very unprepared to handle.

After another few minutes, you’re at Joshua’s place. He springs back into action and tries to open your door for you, even though you’re the driver. He settles for taking hold of your hand as he walks to his door, only reluctantly dropping it when he gets to the door. 

His apartment is familiar to you, it has to be for this to be believable. So, he sets the food out and you grab plates. You grab a couple waters from the fridge while he takes the food over to the couch, bypassing the table. You sit next to him, leaving enough space between you that you’re not touching. Hoping he doesn’t think anything of it. 

It’s useless, apparently, because he slides over to press into your side.

What’s worse (not that you thought that was possible) is that he picks things off of your plate and gives you food off his plate. Tries to feed it to you, actually, and pouts when you don’t let him. It takes everything in you not to beg him to be gentle on your heart. He doesn’t even seem to realize what he’s doing to you as he smiles and jokes. Doesn’t seem to think twice about playing with your hands or his hand on your leg or any of the things he usually does when you have an audience. There’s nobody here to see and he’s not usually this touchy when you’re alone. Maybe it’s the drinks.

“I like your friends a lot, you know,” he says out of nowhere.

“They like you, too,” you assure him.

“What about you?” he asks.

“I’d assume they like me as well,” you laugh out.

“No, I meant me. Do you like me?” he asks, eyes big and vulnerable.

Please, Joshua, I’m begging you. Be gentle with me, you think so loud you’re worried he might hear.

“I’m actually a little sick of you,” you joke. 

“But, but,” he begins and dramatically throws himself in your lap. 

“You’re the worst,” you say without any bite. Your hands find their way into his hair, softly running through the strands.

“That feels nice,” he says softly. “Can I just stay like this? I’m tired.” 

“Of course,” you whisper.

“You’ll stay with me?” he asks, sounding like he’s about to drift off.

You’re sure he won’t remember any of this. Not because he’s drunk, but he’s on the edges of sleep. So, you answer in a whisper. “Always.” 

Maybe he’s not the one that needs to be careful with your heart. Maybe it’s you that needs to be careful. You know that you could walk away. That you could just remind him that this is all fake and there’s nobody around to see now. That’s not what you do. So, maybe you’re just as much to blame. 

Sunday Joshua: thanks for taking care of me last night Joshua: idk why the drinks hit me so hard Joshua: when did you leave?  Monday Joshua: is everything okay? Did i say something stupid? Tuesday Joshua: i don’t wanna sound clingy but are we still getting together at your place after work?

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you know that you need to respond. You know that what you’re doing isn’t fair to anyone. It’s not like Joshua can somehow read your mind to realize you’re spiraling. It just feels a little paralyzing. This is a weird limbo of knowing you might be in over your head, but still believing this is all fake. 

Jeonghan: hey dummy i know you’re ignoring joshua so i’m coming over tonight  Jeonghan: i told him you’ve been busy at work and i haven’t heard from you either but we have some talking to do

Leave it to Jeonghan. You had almost forgotten, with how well you’ve gotten to know Joshua, that it was Jeonghan who introduced you in the first place. Of course he would text your best friend when he couldn’t get a hold of you. Does that make you feel better? Not really, you think, because it feels like a real relationship in a way. Oh well, you can talk about it with Jeonghan. If he shows up, that is.

And he does, less than an hour later.

“I’m here,” he announces when he comes in the door.

“Thanks for knocking and giving me the chance to pretend I’m not here,” you call back.

“Your car is outside and you have your location turned on,” Jeonghan says. 

“Right,” you answer as he comes through the hall holding a bag from your favorite take out place.

“At least I come bearing gifts,” he says.

“You’re an angel, do you know that?” you ask and reach for the bag.

Jeonghan snorts. “I’m gonna remind you of that the next time you call me a demon.” 

“Well, Lucifer was a fallen angel,” you reason with a shrug. 

“I hate you,” he says.

“I know,” you answer. 

Jeonghan busies himself with taking out the food and making sure you have napkins. Tells you what he wants to drink when you get up to go into the kitchen. Calls for you to grab some utensils as well. By the time you sit back down with him, he’s flipping through a streaming service trying to find something to watch. It’s not at all what you’re expecting and you just let it happen. The two of you have been friends long enough to know you should just let things play out.

With some mindless show on in the background, Jeonghan talks about work and your friends and everything else that’s been going on the past few days. Like it’s been weeks since you last saw him. Mostly, he talks about how Taehyung has been blowing up his phone asking for advice about Mimi, which is actually news to you. Sure, you saw him ask her if she wanted to go with him to the wedding. What you had not expected was for him to actually be interested. Which he is, if his messages to Jeonghan are anything to go by. It’s been everything from advice about talking to her to what kinds of things she might like as a surprise. They would probably be cute, you think. 

“Yeah, well, sometimes feelings catch us off guard,” Jeonghan says when you admit your surprise.

Damn. Did you really walk right into that?

“True,” you admit, knowing that’s the best answer you can give.

“Talk to me,” Jeonghan urges. 

“About what?” you ask to buy more time.

“Joshua,” he says.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you state. That makes him fix you with a look.

“Clearly there is or you wouldn’t be ignoring him,” he says. 

“We’re not really dating so I don’t owe him constant updates. I’m not ignoring him. I just have other shit to do,” you say without looking at him.

“Would you like to be?” he asks. That does make you turn to him.

“Like to be what?” you ask, though you think you know.

“Really dating him,” Jeonghan says.

It’s a crossroads kind of moment. You could say that you don’t want that. That would be a lie, though, and Jeonghan doesn’t like it when you lie. Can always tell the second you say something that’s not true. The truth is that you’ve spent nearly every moment since that stupid night at Hyejin’s place thinking about what you actually feel for your fake boyfriend. 

“I don’t…know,” you say slowly and earn a smile because it’s not a lie.

“I was there the other night too, I saw the way it all played out,” he says.

“I mean, does it matter? This is all fake and soon, it’ll be over,” you say.

“Of course it matters and it’ll be over soon? Please,” Jeonghan scoffs. “I know he’s told you that he wants to keep you in his life after Johnny’s wedding. So, what? You’re just gonna be like okay, that was fun, let’s never talk again?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” you say quietly.

He rolls his eyes. “Try again, buttercup.” 

“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t like me like that, he’s just nice,” you say, avoidant as ever. 

“He looks at you like he’d give you the moon if you asked for it,” Jeonghan snorts out.

“He’s just nice, Han,” you disagree.

“Maybe,” your closest friend concedes, a rare move for him. It feels weird all the same. “Whatever it is, text him back. He misses you and I don’t want to hear anymore about how he’s worrying he upset you.”

“He’s been worrying that he upset me?” you ask. Your heart constricts at that.

“Yeah, for some reason he actually likes your company,” he says. “Can’t relate.”

You smack Jeonghan on the arm. “Says the man who shows up at my place unannounced when I ignore him for a day.”

“No, I was just bored,” he argued. “And you’re way too stubborn to sort out your shit on your own.”

 “I’m not stubborn, but fine, I’ll text him,” you relent.

“Now,” he says.

“What?”

“Text him now so that I know you actually did it.”

You roll your eyes at him, but pull your phone out anyway. Angling it away from Jeonghan so that he can’t see your screen. He’s such a nosy brat sometimes.

You: hey, i’m sorry. It’s been really busy and i had a lot on my mind You: wanna do something tomorrow?

The response comes right away and you ignore the smug look on Jeonghan’s face as you quickly make plans. If Jeonghan was anyone else, he would probably just let you be since he ultimately got what he wanted. But, he’s not anyone else. And he’s as caring to his friends as he is calculating when he wants something. So, he’s not doing it to be cruel, not at all. He just wants you to consider what you’re actually feeling. 

You’ll never tell Jeonghan how much you appreciate him talking everything through with you. Never tell him how good it feels to get all the thoughts out of your head. To his credit, he’s not smug and he doesn’t tell you that he’s been right about your feelings all along. He just listens, supports you when you need it, and encourages you to keep thinking through everything that’s going on.

As a make-up for slightly ignoring Joshua (over your own internal freak out), you take him to dinner at your favorite restaurant. It’s this tiny little hole-in-the-wall that people seem to walk past. The kind of place where you couldn’t overspend even if you tried because the couple that owned it just wanted to share good food. The kind of place where they know everyone by name. It makes you feel instantly at ease. 

Joshua doesn’t say it, but he also kind of can’t believe you wanted to show him some place that meant so much to you. All he could do was watch, with so much fondness, as you spoke to the couple about everything under the sun. Watch as you turned slightly red when they scolded you for taking so long to bring Joshua by. Smile as you promised the both of you would be back. Despite trying to pay, you beat him to it. Even leaving a massive tip because you insisted the couple had undercharged you. They made a big show of not wanting to take the tip and you only reminded them the cash would stay sitting on the counter. You weren’t taking it back either. 

You don’t really think about it when you take a picture of you and Joshua to upload on Instagram. At least, you try not to. Later, when you’re home and winding down for the night, you pull the picture back up. It’s amazing just how happy both of you look. You don’t need to read the comments to know that you’ve never looked so happy in your life. Every part of you wants to pull back again. It’s overwhelming. But, Jeonghan’s voice plays in your head and instead you push past. Make more plans that could break your heart. You have to just trust that he won’t. 

It isn’t until the weekend that you’re able to see him again because your schedules didn’t quite match up. That doesn’t stop him from calling you at night, though. Insisting that he wants to know how your day was, even if you can only spare a few minutes for a call. (Which never ends up being the case. You fall asleep on the phone with him twice. His voice is just so soothing when it’s all deep and soft.) 

Again, Joshua tells you the date is a surprise. He can be a little bit of a demon, when it suits him. Sure, he likes to pretend he’s not. That he’s above the chaos. Then, he does something like this and he can’t really escape it. But, he’s so sure he knows what you like that he’s positive you’ll enjoy the date. You remember how that chat had gone, too. You were ready to go to sleep, but unable to say goodnight. 

(“I have our next date planned,” Joshua says, voice soft to match the calm of the night.

“What is it?” you wonder.

“A surprise,” he answers.

“What if I don’t like it?” you ask back.

“You will,” he assures you.

“You sure seem to think you know me,” you joke. 

“Yeah, I do. Don’t worry, you’ll like this too,” he says.

There was no point in denying it. That confidence sent a bit of a shiver through you.) 

It turns out that the date is at a winery where you’re painting with wine. You have to ask him to say it again because you’ve only ever heard of wine and paint classes. Painting with wine is entirely new to you. It sounds fun, though, and you know how crafty Joshua can be, have seen all the projects around his apartment. So, even though you’re definitely not that artistic, you’re excited to see this as well. 

Admittedly, by the end of the session, your painting isn’t bad. It was a bit weird to use wine in that way, but they let you drink as well. Which makes it a lot easier to just go along with the idea of painting. Joshua’s painting, on the other hand, is beautiful. Not for the first time, you think his talents might be wasted at an office job. You’ve seen the bracelets he makes and now you’ve seen him paint. You’ve heard him sing and play the guitar. He’s impossibly artistic in a way that should make you jealous. Instead, it just makes you more endeared to him. 

You snap a picture of him and his art when he’s not looking and upload it before he can even realize it. It’s only when a notification goes off on his phone that he realizes. He doesn’t even say anything, just gets a sparkle in his eyes that makes you weary immediately. He’s busy tapping away on his own phone before a notification sounds on yours. Maybe you weren’t the only one to steal a candid shot if the picture of you laughing with a glass of wine in one hand and a paintbrush in the other is anything to go by. It’s the caption that really ruins you, though. Just a simple “think I’m addicted to her light”. It’s so simple and also so much sweeter than yours. You fight through the urge to run away. 

Which lasts until you get home from dinner. It was the perfect date, truly. Joshua always seems to know exactly how to plan out a day so everything works. After sipping wine and painting, he took you to one of his favorite restaurants. Nothing too pretentious, just kind of unassuming. The kind of place where you get good food and even better conversation. It’s (mostly) easy to keep your mind off the way your heart keeps racing.

When you’re back home, you’re not so lucky.

Back home, alone in your apartment, there aren’t any distractions. Nothing to stop your mind from all the ways that it can sabotage your own happiness. Nothing to stop you from thinking about how nobody, not even Johnny, has ever planned out such thoughtful dates for you. Nobody has ever taken the time to really know you like Joshua. Even if you won’t admit it, he knows you better than anyone you’ve ever dated. Which is terrifying, since this is all fake. And he hasn’t even known you that long. 

So, you do the rational thing and you pull back again. Answer his texts so that he doesn’t send Jeonghan over to figure out what’s wrong, but don’t make solid plans. Talk a lot about a work project that you really need to get done ahead of schedule so that you’re not stressing leading up to the wedding. And you throw in some easy suggestions in the meantime so that it still seems like you’re making an effort. 

Lunch on a work day so that it has a set ending time. Which still tugs at your heartstrings a bit because he takes a longer lunch just to meet you closer to where you work. 

An event where your parents purchased a table for charity because he’s in high demand with your family around. And he can’t be as affectionate. 

His Open Mic Nights, but with the excuse that you can’t stay too late because of your project and he should stick around with his friends. You’ll get home safely.

Small little things that keep you around him and keep up your conversations while still giving you time to breathe. You’re sure that you’re pulling it all off. And then, the wedding is around the corner. The finish line is in sight. 

You: I’m not going to the wedding You: you don’t have to come pick me up Joshua: what are you talking about? You: i’m not going Joshua: but it’s literally in a few hours? You: yeah and i don’t wanna go, so you’re off the hook You: thanks for everything, but you don’t have to pretend anymore

Even if you know you’re being a little petulant, you don’t really care. This whole thing was supposed to be about protecting your heart. Protecting your pride. Not showing up to your cheating ex-fiance's wedding alone and looking like some kind of loser. It was not supposed to be about your heart getting clobbered anyway. So, you’re doing the only logical thing you can think of. Ignoring your problems. Avoiding both the wedding and Joshua. What you’re not prepared for, though you should be, is the knock that comes at your door half an hour later. 

Joshua is on the other side of the door and your heart actually stops. He’s got his tux on and his hair styled back off his face. His eyes are soft as they take you in, noting that you have your hair and make up done. Though, you’re still in your sweats. You got at least that far before you decided this was a stupid fucking decision. 

“Can I come in?” he asks when you don’t say anything.

“Sure,” you say and step aside. 

“You look like you’re getting ready,” he comments once he’s inside.

“I was, until I texted you,” you answer. “Speaking of, why are you here?”

“Because we had plans,” he says. 

“Yeah to go see my ex-fiance marry the girl he cheated on me with. Oh, and for you to pretend to be my boyfriend so I didn’t look pathetic,” you say with a huff. 

“You’re not pathetic. He’s an asshole,” Joshua says. He doesn’t swear often, so it catches you a little off guard. 

“Well, whatever, you don’t have to go. So, I’m not really sure why you’re here,” you say. 

“You’re being so cold. What’s going on?” Joshua asks and reaches out to you. Instead, you duck away from his touch. 

“Nothing is going on. It was stupid to care what Johnny thought or to try and save face somehow,” you say. 

“It’s not stupid. He hurt you and you didn’t deserve that,” Joshua urges.

“You really don’t know me that well. Maybe I did deserve it. Maybe I was awful to him and he had no choice,” you say.

“We both know that’s not true,” he says.

“Do we?” you challenge. 

“Yes, we do,” he presses. “There is nothing you could do that justifies cheating instead of just breaking it off. But, I also know you didn’t do anything wrong. Jeonghan and I talked about it.”

“You spoke to Jeonghan about my relationship behind my back?” you question. 

“What is going on? We’ve been hanging out for weeks and getting to know each other. I just wanted to know more about someone I was going to be helping. And I like knowing you,” Joshua says and you have to look away. You don’t need the reminder of how much time you’ve spent with him.

“Yeah, sorry about all that time we wasted. I’ll pay you back for the tux or anything else you had to buy to pretend to date me,” you say and he looks genuinely confused.

“I don’t…want you to pay me back for anything. It wasn’t a waste of time. I did this because I wanted to,” he says.

“Yeah, well, you don’t have to pretend anymore because I’m not going to the stupid fucking wedding. It was a really bad idea in the first place,” you say.

Joshua clenches his jaw and looks away. Like maybe he’s frustrated. “What is going on? Do you still have feelings for him?” 

“For who? Johnny?” you ask, so insanely caught off guard that you forget you’re mad.

“Yes,” Joshua says tightly.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you bark out.

“Well? You’re being really weird and now you don’t want to go to a wedding that we’ve been planning on,” he starts.

“Yeah, which should make you happy, since you don’t have to pretend to be my boyfriend anymore,” you say.

“Because you’re still in love with Johnny,” Joshua finishes like he hadn’t even heard you.

“Oh my god,” you nearly scream. “I’m not fucking in love with Johnny. This isn’t about him.”

“So, you don’t want to go to the wedding and it has nothing to do with him? That doesn’t make any sense,” he says. 

“No, I don’t want to keep doing this,” you say, gesturing between the two of you. “I don’t want to keep pretending to date you when I -”

You clamp your mouth shut. Unable to believe that you almost blurted out how you feel.

“When you what?” he challenges. “What? Is it that bad being around me? Is that it? Are you just sick of me? Ready to toss me aside?”

You laugh bitterly, not even able to appreciate the irony in the situation. “No, Joshua, I don’t want to toss you aside.” 

“Then, what? What am I supposed to think when you’ve been pushing me away for the last couple weeks? And I have to act like I haven’t noticed all the ways you’ve kept me at arm’s length since we went to the winery. Why did you just decide, literally today, that you don’t want to go to the wedding after all?” he asks, rambling. He’s pacing in front of you. “Why are you trying so hard to get rid of me?”

“Because I don’t want to get hurt!” you blurt out. “Because I don’t want to go to my fucking scumbag of an ex’s wedding where everyone is going to be giving me these looks of pity or focusing on my relationship with him when all I want is this.”

“This? What?” he asks, coming to a stop.

“This, Joshua, you and me. Having this just all be pretend is breaking my heart. I can’t keep doing it. It was supposed to keep me from getting my heart broken. It sucks and I hate it and I just wish it wasn’t pretend. I don’t want to go to the wedding and have you be so sweet and kind and caring when I’m going to know it has an expiration date. That it’s all just been for show,” you admit. You turn away, clutching your arms around your center because you’re so tired. And so exposed. So vulnerable. It’s awful.

The tears won’t stop, so you don’t notice how Joshua has closed the space between you until he wraps his arms around you from behind. Pulls you back against his chest and presses a kiss into your hair.

“So, let’s stop saying it’s pretend,” he whispers. 

“What?” you whisper back.

He turns you in his arms so that you’re facing him and gently brushes away the tears. “Let’s stop saying it’s fake. It doesn’t feel fake, does it?”

“No,” is all you can manage.

“So, it’s not fake and we’re not pretending,” he says.

“But,” you start to protest. 

“I knew I was in trouble, really deep trouble, as soon as we left your parents’ house. I was just waiting for you to catch up,” he says as he gently runs a thumb across your cheek to wipe away a tear . Your eyes go wide.

“That was barely a week in,” you say and he just shrugs. “And I’d dumped all my bullshit on you.”

“I think that’s actually what made me like you so much,” he says. “It was supposed to be fake and we were trying to get to know each other well enough to pull it off. But, instead, I just realized you were actually perfect.”

“Perfect? I was broken,” you joke and he shakes his head.

“No, you’ve been hurt. Who hasn’t? You’re also strong, kind, funny, a fiercely loyal friend, and one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, inside and out,” he says. 

“That’s so, you’re so sweet,” you say and try to hide your face. He doesn’t let you. “You like me?”

“I’ve liked you the whole time. I did think it was a date, after all,” he says. “And do you think I’m that affectionate with everyone?”

“We were pretending,” you argue.

“I wasn’t,” he argues back.

“Our closest friends thought you were,” you disagree.

“And was anyone else there in my apartment when I was still being affectionate?” he asks.

“Well, no, but…” you start.

“I heard you say always,” he tells you.

“You did?” you ask, sure that it’s been your secret this whole time.

“We don’t have to go to the wedding. But, if it’s just because you don’t want this to be over with me, then it’s not going to be over. I’m yours for as long as you want me,” he says so earnestly it nearly makes you blush.

“Careful, you might get sick of me,” you joke.

He puts a finger under your chin so he can look you in the eyes. “I’ll say it again. I’m yours as long as you want me. I won’t get sick of you.” 

“I…” you start and don’t know where to go. So you do the only thing you can think of and kiss him. It’s clear he’s a little caught off guard, but he recovers quickly. His arms wrap around you to hold you tight against him. It’s the first time you’ve really kissed him and you’re so screwed because he really is perfect at this too. 

“So, do I get you for the rest of today?” he asks.

You take in his tuxedo again, for real this time. Appreciating how well it’s tailored and how amazing he looks. With a sigh, you say, “you know, it’s a shame to waste such a nice tux.”

“Are you…I thought we weren’t going,” he stutters.

“I’m probably gonna have to fix my makeup in the car, but why not? I want to show off my super hot and very real boyfriend,” you say and watch him choke on air. 

“You can’t just say…” he starts.

“Damn, sick of me already?” you tease.

“You know I’m not,” he answers and moves to follow you.

“No, no. You don’t get to see me changing. I’ll be back out in a second,” you say. 

You’re in the middle of shimmying into your dress when you realize that you do still have a lot to talk about. A lot to figure out. This whole situation has been unusual, though, so it probably makes sense that there isn’t a template. Once you have your shoes on, you walk back into the living room, prepared to say something, only to find Joshua speechless.

“You look…” he starts.

“You’ve seen the dress already,” you say and smile.

“Not on you. Not in person. You look amazing,” he says and crosses to pull you into his arms. “Are you sure we have to go?”

“Yes,” you say and swat him. “But, I do know we have a lot to talk about.”

“I’m not in a rush,” he says and allows you to step away.

“We might need to be in a bit of a rush,” you say, checking the time and gathering all your things. 

“Let’s go, then,” Joshua says and offers his arm. 

The wedding passes in kind of a blur. In truth, you barely even register Johnny or what he’s doing beyond the actual ceremony. The reception is so massive that it’s easiest just to focus on the people around you. Especially when you’re at a table with your friends. Thankfully, you’re not at a table with your parents or your sister. It does mean, though, that you’re sitting next to Hyejin, who has definitely realized that something shifted between you and Joshua. So, she’s trying to sneak in a question any time she can. Which is hard, given that Joshua is more attached to you than ever. And Hyejin doesn’t want to draw unnecessary attention to you. All you manage to let her know is that it’s real now and that you’ll fill her in after the wedding. (You’re also thankful that people seem to be cooing over Taehyung and Mimi since they’re the shiny new topic.)

It’s also nice to have Joshua there because he’s a built in way to excuse yourself from any conversation that you don’t want to be part of. It’s easy to just say you’re going to go back to the table. Or, in the case of a good song coming on, he’ll be quick to drag you to the dance floor and away from whatever conversation you’re stuck in. He’s a good dancer, too. You don’t miss the way Hyejin catches your eye when the first slow song comes on and he pulls you close to him. But, that’s a conversation for another day. All you wanted was to appreciate the way his hand felt on your lower back or your hand felt in his. 

When it was finally time to leave, Joshua led you out of the event, arm around you to guide you. Neither of you were drunk, but you had still hired someone to take you to and from the wedding anyway. A gift from your parents to appreciate you “doing the right thing” and coming to the wedding. For the sake of the families. It made you roll your eyes at the time, yet you’re thankful now. It would be far better than having to take an Uber or trying to get a room at the hotel (and risking seeing everyone else staying there the next morning). The ride home also gave you the chance to talk. Really talk. Neither of you cared much that someone else was driving (and he had the partition up, anyway), as you talked about your feelings honestly for the first time. 

As it turned out, you had a lot to say. Both of you. You hadn’t been nearly as good at hiding your feelings from Joshua as you had been at hiding them from yourself. He had hoped you were going to admit them to him after that night at his apartment. Instead, you avoided him. Yes, he knew that you had been avoiding him. You also weren’t very good at picking up on the signs he dropped about his feelings for you. He admitted that he could have just said something, but he was trying to be subtle so he didn’t scare you off. Trying to let his actions speak through more affection. You admit you were scared to think it was anything more than it actually was. Scared of your feelings. Scared of getting hurt again. Joshua completely understands that and admits that he’s a little scared, too, because you’re definitely more important to him than he was anticipating. He’s also confident that you can work through it together. It gives you a feeling of hope. Makes everything about you feel lighter. You see that relief reflected in Joshua’s eyes when they scan yours. 

The car pulls to a stop and he gets out first. He holds his hand out to help you out of the car. You’re not really sure what comes over you.

“Come up with me,” you ask, but it’s more of a statement. 

He hesitates, conflicted. “I don’t know if I should.”

“Why?” you ask, clearly confused.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to leave,” he answers and you smile.

“Then stay,” you shrug, “at least for breakfast.” 

Without waiting for him to respond, you turn and head for the front door of the building. It means you miss the way he freezes in place, but you can guess at that by how long it takes before he catches up to you. He’s unusually quiet and still beside you as you go up the elevator and then behind you as you unlock the door. 

“I’m gonna go change,” you announce after you drop your keys by the door. You look back at Joshua, appreciating him in the tuxedo one last time. “I’ve got some clothes in the spare room that should fit. They’re Jeonghan’s ” 

You take the opportunity to breathe for a second, to let it settle in that you asked Joshua to come in with you and stay the night. Then, you set about changing out of your dress. Carefully clean your face free of the make-up. Brush through your hair and twist it back off of your face. Once you’re in comfy clothes and bare faced, you head back out into the living room. It’s odd that you don’t even feel self-conscious about Joshua seeing you like this, you’re instantly comfortable. 

Joshua’s back is to you in the kitchen. When he turns around, you see that he’s put together a little platter of snacks. You also were right, the t-shirt and shorts he picked out seem to fit him well. Jeonghan is a little slighter than Joshua, but he wears most of his clothes on the baggier side. 

“Thanks for the clothes,” he says when you both meet on the couch. “I was worried when you said you had spare clothes they were gonna be from an ex or Johnny or something.” 

Your laugh is sudden and clearly catches Joshua off guard. “I wouldn’t have kept any of Johnny’s clothes. I gave them all to charity.” 

“I’m sure he was thrilled with that,” Joshua laughs.

“They made a killing reselling them,” you laugh in response. “Wanna watch something?”

“Sure, you pick,” he says.

You start clicking through your saved list to find something that the two of you can watch. Once you settle on something, Joshua motions you over. Even if you want to pretend you’re considering it, you can’t. Every part of you wants to be close to him. When you slide over, he pulls you in tighter to his body and you fit like you always belonged there with him. 

If you thought he was physically affectionate when he was pretending, it’s nothing compared to now that he knows you’re both in this. He has one hand running along your arm or the other along your thigh. Sometimes he reaches out to take one of your hands. Other times he presses kisses into your hair. It’s pretty clear right away that he’s not paying much attention to the show. 

If you’re being honest, you’re not really either.

Everything is distracting. The way his fingers on the bare skin of your arm raises goosebumps. The way his kiss in your hair makes your eyes close in appreciation. The way he squeezes your thigh and short circuits your brain. 

You can’t help it. You turn your head so that you can look at him. He caresses your cheek, so gentle. Runs his thumb across your lip. You’re holding your breath, just waiting to see what he’s going to do. When you feel like you’re going to go a little bit insane, his hand moves to the back of your neck and pulls you in. It’s exactly like the first kiss before the wedding. At least, at first. It’s gentle, but full of so much desire. It’s also slow, like there’s no rush to any of it.

The position is really uncomfortable, though. You shift your legs so they’re draped over one of Joshua’s. He doesn’t miss a beat. It just allows him to pull you closer. There’s something incredibly intimate in kissing him like this. There’s this weird contrast of desire and comfort. It’s heated, but also a little lazy. Like you have all the time in the world. Which you do, you think, now that you’re being honest about your feelings.  When Joshua pulls back from the kiss, you chase his lips for a second before realizing that he’s pulled away. The way he looks at you nearly melts you into the couch.

“I don’t want to assume where this is headed, but maybe we should take it to the bedroom?” he asks. It’s cute, the way he’s a little shy. Like you didn’t invite him in to spend the night. Yeah, you’re in way over your head. At least it seems like he might be too. 

You pull your legs back so that you can stand up. His eyes track your movements as you reach your hand back to him. He accepts it without a word and lets you lead him to the bedroom. Even if he’s seen your bedroom before, this feels different. You’re waiting for him to look around, but his eyes are glued on you. Joshua even waits for you to lead him all the way to the bed, so you direct him to sit on the edge. 

Once Joshua is seated, you step between his legs and tilt your head down to kiss him. He wraps his arms around you so that he can pull you against him. There’s barely any space between you. It sends a little bit of a shiver as his hands run up your back and back down. The touch is gentle and caring. Like he’s trying to put everything he feels into it. Something about it just makes you feel so insanely safe. 

He’s the one to break the kiss again, but this time it’s to move back onto the bed and grab your hand to pull you along with him. It’s easy to just follow suit and get comfortable laying next to him, bodies facing each other. The kissing picks up when your lips meet again. Joshua kisses you breathless with a passion you’re eager to explore. One of his hands rests on your hip, casually sliding beneath your shirt and caressing up your side. You press your body further into his and capture his moan with a kiss. It feels like you’re a bit drunk off each other.

When Joshua’s hand moves back down, you take the chance to throw your leg over his hip, allowing you to press further into him and feel how this is turning him on. Part of you knows that he’s still waiting for you to set the pace. Or that he wants things to be a little slower. So, you help him out and roll the two of you over so that you’re straddled on top of him. Putting his hands on your hips, you lean over to kiss him again. In this position, you can also grind into his lap. You delight in how he’s already getting hard beneath you, enjoy the way his hands grip the soft flesh of your hips.

He pulls back and looks at you with blown pupils. “Baby, please don’t tease me.” 

“No silly pet name?” you tease him. 

“Not when you’re getting me this turned on like a horny teenager,” he whines. 

“You mean like this?” you ask, injecting as much innocence as you can when you slowly drag your clothed pussy across his dick again. 

Joshua throws his head back, eyes squeezed shut, and grips you tighter. “Yes.” 

“So you don’t like it?” you ask, grinding a little more. 

“Fuck,” he hisses out. And somehow that’s the thing that almost breaks you. Why is that one swear so hot on his lips? 

Without saying anything, you sit up a little bit, still making sure you’re straddling Joshua, so that you can pull his shirt off him. Your eyes go wide because you’ve never seen him shirtless. You’ve seen him in well fitted suits or shirts, but this is entirely different. His chest looks like it was sculpted by an artist. All your attention is on your fingers running along his chest and you don’t see the way it makes him a little shy. 

His hands reach for your own shirt, playing with the hem like he’s asking permission. So, you move his hands aside and pull it over your head, leaving your skin bare as well. You watch him drink you in, feeling almost empowered by the desire you see in his eyes. He pulls you back towards him so that he can get one of your breasts into his mouth. The way he teases your nipple with his tongue has you clenching around nothing. You can feel how wet it’s making you and try your best not to squirm when he moves from one breast to the other. 

“I need you,” you utter. 

“I need you, too,” he says against your skin. His hips buck up into you almost involuntarily. 

You slide off of him and pull your shorts down and he gasps that you don’t have any underwear on. It isn’t like you were expecting anything, you just wanted to be prepared. While he’s still a little drunk on the sight of you fully naked, you help him discard the rest of his clothing. The sight of his cock springing free, precum leaking out, has you wanting to get your mouth on him. 

But, you’re realizing, what you really want is to feel him inside you. After so much tension and wondering, you just want to have this moment together. You want to be as close as two people can possibly get. You want all the intimacy and to be able to see his face. It’s this thought that pushes you back to the bed to lay with him. 

Joshua repositions and runs a hand down your body. Lets his fingers run along your thighs and tease their way up to gather some of your wetness. Your eyes close as he runs a finger up your slit. It’s such a little amount of contact and it makes you moan anyway. 

“Damn, are you this wet just for me?” he asks and presses a kiss into the first bit of your skin he can reach.

“I want to feel you,” you admit. Joshua makes you press a finger into your pussy, but you stop him. Confusion takes over his features.

“I thought…do you not want this?” he asks. 

“I do, but I want…I want all of you,” you admit. “I want to feel you deep inside of me. I want to be completely ruined by you. I want to come together.” 

“Shit,” he hisses, hand stilling against your body. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?” you ask.

“I want to taste you soon,” he says, pressing a kiss into your shoulder.

The thought of him between your legs makes you shiver. It’s almost enough to forget that you want this first time to be together. “Deal.” 

“Do you have condoms? I wasn’t exactly expecting…” he says, trailing off.

“That drawer,” you say and point. 

He rolls himself off of the bed to open the drawer. You’re not sure why you expect his hands to be a little unsteady when he rips open the wrapper and rolls it onto himself, but he’s so calm. Maybe it’s just you that’s a little nervous. At least, that’s what you think until you catch the look on his face. It has to be the same as yours, naked want mixed with a little bit of uncertainty. Everything else has been so easy with you, what if this is where it goes wrong? 

“Just lay back,” he urges you, voice calming any lingering nerves. His voice drops to a whisper, like the next statement is just for him. “You’re so beautiful, every single inch of you.” 

It makes your heart constrict in a way that you’re not really prepared for. It would be nice if your feelings could stop flooding in all at once like a dam breaking. It’s overwhelming. You do as he says, though, and lean back against the pillow. Joshua gently spreads your legs apart and takes another moment to appreciate you. He can’t seem to help himself from running a finger along your entrance. 

Even though he would fully be within his rights to tease you, he doesn’t. He lines himself up at your entrance and looks to you for final confirmation. All you can manage is a nod. You know he wants to hear you, but you can’t bring yourself to form the words. So, he accepts the nods and slowly presses into you.

“Fuck,” you hiss as you adjust to him. 

“Are you okay?” he worries.

“Feels good,” you say with a slight whine. “It’s just been a bit.” 

He presses the rest of the way into you and then stills so you can get used to him. It’s really overwhelming. Not just because you’re finally feeling him inside of you. More so because he’s looking at you with more adoration than you’ve ever felt in your life. Like this is it for him. Like you’re it for him. It’s too early to be thinking of love, but you really don’t know if anyone has ever loved you so completely. You think he’s probably it for you too. 

Once he finally starts to move, you know it’s going to be over entirely too fast. He starts with slow thrusts, testing what you want. You dig your fingers into his arms as a way to ground yourself. To anchor yourself to him and in the moment. When he picks up the pace, your mind goes entirely blank. It’s just the right speed. While you love the hard and fast fucking, there’s something so much more intimate about this kind of in between speed. 

“God you feel so good,” he whines as he snaps into you again. “So tight and perfect.” 

“You’re so - oh my god,” you moan out, unable to finish the sentence as he hits you just right. 

Joshua moves one of your legs so that it’s over his shoulder and presses further into you, hitting deeper than you were prepared for.

“Fuck, Joshua, holy shit,” you scream out. 

“Love the sound of my name on your lips,” he manages as his thrusts pick up pace. 

You want to respond that you love saying it, want to say anything, but the thrusts are entirely too much. As if it wasn’t already too much, Joshua adjusts again so that he can press his thumb against your clit. He rubs circles in time with his thrusts and you think that you might see stars. You throw your head back, eyes pressed shut.

“Look at me, baby. I wanna see you when you come,” he urges, his own voice sounding ragged. 

Despite wanting to focus on the pressure building between you, you do as he asks. Your eyes meet his and it’s that look that makes that coil snap. You’re coming hard and digging your fingers into whatever you can find to release some of the tension in your body. This might be the best orgasm you’ve had. 

When you come back to this plane, Joshua has stilled inside of you. One of his hands gently caresses your face as he mumbles quiet praises. It’s so impossibly tender.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, you can move,” you assure him.

“Thank fuck,” he mumbles. 

His pace now picks up to something fast and hard with one of his large hands anchoring your thigh to his body. Your hands grip any part of his body that they can reach and you relish the way he hisses when your nails drag patterns down his skin. Marking him so that he belongs to you. Just as you belong so completely to him. 

It seems impossible but you can feel the tension building low in your stomach again. His thrusts are so hard that you feel like his cock might split you open and something about it just works for you. You hadn’t thought anything about him would translate to this kind of hard and fast sex, but it’s somehow better than you could have imagined. With him so focused on chasing his own high, you rub circles on your clit to bring yourself over the edge again. You tumble over the edge for a second time just as Joshua’s thrusts get erratic. You do your best to take over the rhythm before slowing down. 

Joshua collapses on top of you, cock still buried in your pussy, and sighs. His weight on top of you feels like the best security you’ve ever had. Your hands find their way into his hair, gently stroking and scratching his scalp. As he comes back around, he presses his head further into your hand. 

“Hey,” you say when he looks up at you.

“You’re perfect,” he responds and you can’t keep the smile off your face. 

“You were pretty perfect yourself,” you say. 

“Am I too heavy, I could…” he starts and you pull him tighter against you.

“Don’t you dare,” you warn. 

He doesn’t say anything, just nuzzles his face into your neck. But, you know that you can’t stay like this forever. So you don’t protest when he gently pulls himself up and gets out of the bed. You’re right behind him, leading him into the bathroom so that you can get both of you cleaned up. 

After getting cleaned up, dressed, and doing your respective night time routines, you and Joshua are settled back into your bed (on top of a fresh set of sheets). Although you’ve never been much for falling asleep cuddling, you can’t imagine leaving any space between you and him. When he wraps himself around you, all you can do is smile and settle deeper into his perfect chest. Honestly, every inch of this man is perfect and you’d be annoyed if you weren’t so helplessly attached to him. 

And it’s the best sleep you’ve gotten in a long time. You wake up with his chest pressed into your back and his arm still wrapped around you. It sounds like he’s still asleep based on his breathing and so you’re just considering slipping out of the bed. He moves in his sleep and pulls you tighter against him, making you feel that he’s semi-hard again. You press back against him, almost testing if he’s really asleep. 

He’s not. 

Joshua’s hand, already against the skin of your stomach and underneath your shirt, moves further up to your breast. His hand squeezes your breast and then he brushes his thumb over your nipple. Your body responds to his touch embarrassingly fast, which only seems to spur him on. He’s got your nipple between his fingers before you press back into him again, wiggling your ass against his dick without pretending you’re doing otherwise.

“Good morning beautiful,” Joshua says in a raspy voice into your ear. 

The warmth of his breath along with the pressure of him rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger has you suppressing a moan. In the quiet of the morning, he hears it anyway. He removes his hand from your breast and you want to pout at the loss of contact. That is, until his hand works down between your legs, roughly grabbing hold of your pussy through your shorts. He runs his middle finger through your folds, likely feeling the way your shorts are getting soaked through already. 

“Feels like someone might have woken up ready,” he says into your ear, voice sinfully low. His finger is still slowly teasing you through the damn material of your shorts. Somehow that makes it feel hotter. 

“I wonder why,” you retort, undermined by the way you squirm under his touch. 

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks and stops his movements. 

Your hand immediately moves to his. To guide him back to your cunt. “Please don’t. Want to see what those hands can do.” 

His mouth is still by your ear, so you hear the dark chuckle and feel the air tickle you. He moves your hand aside along with your shorts as he slips his hand inside the fabric. His middle finger resumes the previous pattern almost lazily. You’re about to ask him to stop teasing you when he presses a finger inside you suddenly.

“Fuck,” you nearly scream. 

“Is someone a little sensitive?” he teases. He’s a fucking demon and you would gladly sell your soul so he didn’t stop. 

The way he pumps his finger inside of you is entirely too slow. But, when you try to meet his rhythm, he stops. Just when you think you might actually die, he inserts a second finger. It makes your back arch, pressing your ass further against his now very hard cock. He hisses and pulls his fingers out from you. As you’re turning over to adjust your position, you see him insert his fingers into his mouth. Holy shit. He really is the hottest man you’ve ever met. 

Instead of letting you carry on in any way, he pushes himself up and repositions. You’re not really sure what he’s doing until he reaches for your shorts to pull them off. His focus is on you, silently asking for permission again. All you can do is nod. 

“Told you that I wanted to taste you,” he reminds you once your shorts are off. 

“Are you sure…” you start to ask before he cuts you off.

His head snaps up so he can meet your eyes. “I’ve been waiting to taste you for weeks.”

That shuts you up pretty effectively. What can you really say in response to that? Anything you might have said dies in your throat as he licks a messy stripe up your folds. He quickly settles, using one hand to keep you spread open for him, and licks into you. It’s all you can do to keep your eyes on him as his head bobs between your legs. You thread your fingers through his hair to keep him in place even though you know he’s not going anywhere. (And okay, maybe it’s more to ground yourself to him than anything else.) 

It shouldn’t be surprising that his attentiveness translates this well, but it is a little surprising how well he seems to know your body. The way he knows just when to switch from licking into your cunt to flicking his tongue over your clit. The way he knows when he needs to add a finger and then a second. The way he can tell everything your body needs before you even realize it. 

By the time he pulls himself up your body, he’s got you nearly panting from the build up. The kiss he presses to your lips is sloppy and a little desperate. Like you’re both totally fucked out. His fingers inside you keep a relentless pace as he hooks them, hitting that perfect spot. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you yell out, breaking the kiss. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire in an entirely different way from the night before. 

There’s nothing in the world but Joshua and the way he coaxes everything out of you. The way he has you squirting on his fingers. You’re not even sure if the praise coming out of your mouth makes any sense and you’re definitely not sure what he says in return. It’s all you can do just to appreciate the moment. 

You think that you’re going to get the chance to get your mouth around his cock now that he’s given you another mind blowing orgasm. But, by the time you get your breathing under control, you see that he’s rolling a condom from your drawer onto himself. He pulls you to the edge of the bed so that your legs are hanging off. It’s instantly stronger than you’re expecting from him and pulls a gasp from you. 

Without even thinking, your legs fall open. Joshua seems to have found a bottle of lube, too, and spreads it over his cock. When he lines himself up at your entrance, you expect him to ease in like the night before. He doesn’t. He snaps his full length inside of you in one motion and you’re so overstimulated, but it feels so good.

“Fuck me, Joshua, oh my fucking god,” you say and clench down around his dick. 

“Shit, that feels so good,” he hisses. 

“You feel so good,” you moan. 

“You have no idea,” he answers and starts thrusting. 

It’s a complete haze from the moment you hear his skin slap against your own. Every coherent thought leaves your head. There is nothing in the world but you and him and the way you make each other feel. He leans over your body, crowds your space. Steals sloppy, desperate kisses. Praises you constantly and in broken sentences. It’s all you can do just to hold on, so sore and so unable to stop.

Your hands grip into the sheets around you that are completely rumpled. You try everything to keep your eyes on Joshua’s face. Memorize the way he looks when he’s concentrating. Appreciate how totally gone he is because you’re sure it’s the same look you have. Delight in the way his eyes get even wider when you clench your pussy around him. 

It feels a little like he’s using your body to chase his own high, except there’s total comfort in that. All you want is for him to feel as good as you do. All you want is for him to get that release, especially since you haven’t been able to get your mouth on his cock yet. 

“Harder Joshua, please. I know you’re close,”  you beg and he obliges immediately. 

Even though you’re trying to meet the rhythm, you can’t. It’s too erratic and too unpredictable. So you pull him down to you again and kiss him. Slip your tongue inside his mouth and let the kisses get as sloppy as they need to. You feel how close he is and only kiss him harder. He breaks the kiss for the last few thrusts, groaning as he comes. You’re right there with him. 

(Later, he tells you that he’s never seen anyone hotter than you when you come. It would make you embarrassed in any other situation. But, you realize that you’ve never been with anyone that’s come close to him, so maybe it’s okay to accept his praise. Maybe you deserve it. Maybe this is the person that you’ve been waiting for.)

Now, you really do have to get up and clean up. As tempting as Joshua’s offer to shower together is, you don’t want it to turn into shower sex because that’s just not sexy (or practical). Neither one of you can seem to guarantee keeping their hands off the other. Instead, you tell him that he can use the shower in your guest room. It’s fully stocked and there are still more spare clothes in there. He insists that he should get some laundry going because you must be running out of clean sheets and you definitely made a mess. 

With Joshua cleaning up some around the house, you’re the first out of the shower and dressed. Pleasantly sore in the kind of way you really enjoy. You’re sitting on the couch and scrolling through your phone, trying to decide if you want to order food or just cook what you already have. Before you can make a decision, there’s a knock at the door. It’s impossible to guess who it could be. Even Jeonghan wouldn’t bother you like this. Although he’s been texting asking for an update after you told him you finally got your shit together, he wouldn’t show up like this. 

When you open the door, you’d give anything for it to just be Jeonghan. Instead, you see a face that you’ve been seeing entirely too much lately.

“What are you doing here, Johnny?” you ask with a heavy sigh. 

“I need to talk to you,” he says.

“Why?” you ask.

“Come on, don’t be like that,” he pleads.

“Johnny, it’s the day after your wedding. What the fuck are you doing on my doorstep?” you ask, arms crossed. 

“Are you really going to make me do this in the hallway?” he asks. 

“I don’t see any reason to invite you inside,” you retort. 

“It’s about your, uh, boyfriend,” Johnny says a little awkwardly.

“Joshua?” you ask because that actually piques your interest a bit.

“Can I come in?” he asks.

“No. What about Joshua?” you ask.

“This is really awkward. It would be better if we were sitting down…” Johnny starts.

“My little honeybun, is everything okay?” Joshua asks from inside the apartment. He must be out of the shower. 

“Babe, we talked about the pet names,” you remind him as he joins you at the door.

“Oh, uh, I wasn’t expecting him to be here,” Johnny says.

“I’m her boyfriend, so I know why I’m here. What are you doing here?” Joshua says without hiding any disdain.  "Are you really her boyfriend, though?" Johnny challenges. You stiffen almost imperceptibly, but Joshua must notice it because he wraps an arm around you protectively. "Of course I am. Why are you here?"

“I needed to talk to her,” Johnny says stiffly.

“About you, apparently,” you say with your eyes on Joshua. 

“Right, so can you give us a minute?” Johnny asks with his eyes on Joshua.

“No, he can’t. If you have something to say, just say it. Then you can leave us alone,” you say.

“Fine, if you really want it to be like this, fine,” Johnny says. “I knew he looked familiar when I saw him at your parents’ house with you. It just took me a while. I ran into him at a couple of functions back when I was in college and traveling all around for my dad.” 

“Okay? And? I’m sorry, but I’m not sure why I care,” you say even though you know where he’s going.

“He was always with older women,” Johnny presses. 

“Can you just make your point so we can get back to our day?” Joshua asks.

“Fine,” Johnny says, irritated. “The whispers were that women paid him to come to the events with them. That he was selling himself to them.” 

You actually snort at the phrasing. It takes you several seconds to compose yourself. You wonder what the point of Johnny doing this and if it’s his way of trying to keep you on the hook. Then you realize that you don’t really care what he does. For the first time in forever, you’re genuinely happy. 

“I’m glad you think this is funny,” Johnny says. 

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I know how Joshua helped pay for his education. And like why am I going to give him a hard time over seizing an opportunity? There’s nothing wrong with profiting off of someone wanting his company platonically,” you say. 

“You’re assuming he wasn’t also sleeping with them,” Johnny says, a little stubborn.

“No, I’m not assuming. I know he wasn’t because we’ve talked about this. He told me all about it without even being prompted. And unlike certain people in my life, I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. I know I can actually trust him,” you say. “It was also years before we met. We’ve all got history.”

“Nice dig,” he says. 

“It’s not a dig, Johnny. Not everything is a slight,” you say with a sigh. “Where does Gabby think you are?”

“What?” Johnny asks. 

“Your wife,” you clarify. “Where does she think you are?”

“Oh, well, that’s not important. I just said I had some errands to take care of,” Johnny says and you roll your eyes.

“We’re done, Johnny,” you say.

“Wait,” he says as you’re moving to shut the door. “I know I fucked up, but…”

“There’s no buts. Not anymore,” you say. “Maybe there was a point where I’d want to hear the buts and the apologies and all that. I’m happy now, though, and you can’t even tell your wife that you came to see your ex-fiancee the day after your wedding.” 

“It’s not like…” he starts and you start to close the door at the same time.

“It’s exactly like that. Goodbye, Johnny,” you say. 

The second you close the door, you feel a giant weight lifted off you. You just feel tired. It’s obvious that there aren’t any feelings there anymore, so him pretending he cares as a pretense to see you just feels irritating.

“Are you okay?” Joshua asks, eyes raking over you.

“Yeah, I’m good,” you say.

“You sure?” he asks.

“Yeah, really. I think I knew when I saw him at my parents’ house that time you came over for dinner that I was completely over it,” you say. “I’m sorry he tried to bring something like that up or make it a big deal.” 

“I don’t care. It’s like you said, I did it and I’m not ashamed of that,” he says. “But, uh, I really wanted to thank you.”

“For what?” you ask.

“For defending me and for saying you trust me,” he says. It makes you a little shy for a second, so you look down.

“Oh, well, it’s not a big deal,” you say. 

Joshua closes the space and tilts your chin up to look at him. “It’s a huge deal to me. I know we started pretending, but trusting me means the absolute world.” 

“You make it easy,” you admit. 

That seems to render him a little speechless as well because all he does is pull you into him in the tightest hug he’s ever given you. Your body fits into his like a puzzle piece. Which sounds sappy, even if in your head, and you don’t actually care. It’s the safest and the happiest you’ve ever felt.

“What?” he asks when you pull away.

“Nothing, I just think this is going to work,” you say. 

Joshua smiles at you, that genuine smile he saves for when he’s at his happiest. “Yeah, I think so too.” 

i hope you enjoyed this fic! let me know your thoughts 💕

tag list: @aaniag, @gyuminusone, @crepecakeu, @tinyelfperson, @dokyeomkyeom, @amoryeonjun, @miriamxsworld, @hongrizoon, @klecksstorys, @sunflowergyeomie, @straykidswhoo789, @holistic, @vanishingboots, @babybae-shisui, @matchahyuck, @sonybear40, @kimseokgen, @hyneyedfiz, @miujunhui, @graybaeismytae, @hyucksrealm, @livixxn, @sharonxdevi, @coupsystar8, @sana-is-ms-rmty, @pyeonghongrie-main, @naajaeminsgf, @beomesbabe, @magicshop913, @deletingthekisses, @lissiesykes (strikethrough means i couldn't tag, check your settings!)

[moutainrusing]

pen pals

943 words, @wolfstarmicrofic

On the other side of town, there was a hospital, where children in need of long-term care spent their days and nights. On this side of town, there was a boarding school, where children in need of discipline spent their days and nights.

As an act of further discipline, the Headteacher, Professor McGonagall, had decided that the students of Diagon Academy should write a letter to a patient in Pomfrey’s Hospital, and forge a new friendship, become pen pals for life.

According to Sirius, she was delusional. But he still wrote a letter.

- - -

With his incredibly bony, stick-like, shaking fingers, Remus wrote a letter to someone in the rich, stuffy boarding school, who would apparently become his pen pal for life. (Unlikely.) Firstly, he was Remus. No one wanted to be his friend. Even if they weren’t in their right mind, he was a sick, frail loser, unable to do anything except stutter and sit in awkward silence.

Secondly, the people at Diagon Academy were judgemental snobs. Posh and pretentious and loaded. Why would he befriend that?

- - -

Minerva and Poppy sorted through the letters in companionable chatter, pairing a student with a patient in a match they hoped would lead to a long-lasting friendship.

Once the pairs had been made, the children could keep addressing letters to their pen pal; the school Prefects and hospital wardens would be able to deliver the letters by reading the name on the envelope, ensuring the children got the privacy they needed to open up to each other.

Minerva wanted the slightly troubled (okay, very troubled) students at her school to learn how to care for someone who didn’t live in their narrow-minded world, and Poppy wanted the minorly self-loathing (okay, very self-loathing) patients at her hospital to open up to the possibilities of the world around them. Together, the couple had come up with the idea of pen pals, and together, they wanted this to work so badly.

“I think we’ve found the perfect pair,” Minerva commented as she held Remus’s and Sirius’s letters side-by-side.

Poppy grinned. “I bet those two’ll end up more than friends.”

- - -

Dear pen pal (for life, apparently; I think the nurse may be barmy, but she’s well-intentioned and she’s my favourite and I want it to be known that I am doing this for her. So if I make an embarrassment of myself, it was for her. And I’ll never even get out of this hospital, so I don’t care if you think I’m weird.)

I’m supposed to write about myself. I’m fifteen. I’m a boy. I’ve been sick for as long as I can remember and I look like undercooked pastry. I like reading. There’s not a lot you can do in hospital. But you do get stickers. I’m actually fond of my sticker album. You get a sticker for every injection you take, and when I was younger, I used to get stickers for talking, because I was and am an anti-social freak. I’m really selling this.

Anyway, I’ve organised the pages of my sticker album because I have nothing better to do. There’s a page for leaves from deciduous trees, animals that specifically live in the savanna, fruits which are FRUITS and that includes tomatoes, and a lot of other fully sorted pages. This is my legacy. I might die any day but I still made this impact.

Look, if you’ve read this far, I’ll have to assume you’re as weird as I am.

Yours,

Remus Lupin

Sirius traced over the wobbly penmanship of his pen pal with a grin on his face. Remus was funny. And nice. Those seemed like such simple adjectives, but Sirius meant them to such an intense degree.

He got to writing back about how he was so much weirder than Remus. Although Remus must already know that from Sirius’s introductory letter.

- - -

Dear pen pal,

Minnie, our lovely Headteacher, and my future wife, even though she’s resistant to my charms at the moment (I don’t know why, I’m literally the hottest hunk of meat in this school I’m kidding sorry too soon) (also it may be because she’s gay and so am I) anyway, Minnie came up with the fanciful idea of pen pals. She really hopes this will mean something, and I don’t wanna let her down now, do I?

I mean, I also hope this means something because she has POISONED my brain with these delusional fantasies, and so has my best mate. James really believes this will benefit the country or something from the way he talks.

So, about myself. (It may seem I like talking about myself. I hate it. I’d rather show people who I am.) So, I’m not gonna talk about myself! I’m mysterious like that. Oh-so-interesting.

Like, yesterday, James and I put bouillon cubes into all the shower-heads and the boys ended up smelling like chicken broth (us included). It was fucking GROSS. And fucking awesome. Minnie immediately knew it was us though. My mystery works on everyone but her (another reason we’re soulmates, I should tell her).

LOTS OF LOVE

SIRIUS BLACK, EL AMOR DE TU VIDA

Remus actually snorted. He’d been worried, initially, to see ‘POISONED’ glaring at him in swirling cursive when he cast a cursory glance down the letter, but then he saw ‘THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE’ in Spanish, and found that Sirius was a hyperbolic little shit.

He proceeded to write a letter to tell him exactly that. Oh, and another prank idea, because why not? It wasn’t like he’d be suspected. Maybe he could help Sirius and James with an original idea that couldn’t possibly be pinned on them.

[sunderingstars]

zayne x reader + expressing his emotions/feelings via his and reader's heartbeat? Since he's not *just* her doctor...🪐

♡ heartbeat (zayne x reader) ♡

what the stars reveal: no gender signifiers for reader, (but can be assumed fem based off the game’s mc), slight allusions to lore, poetic prose taken directly from my brain at 3am

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ જ⁀➴ thank you for the suggestion, anon !! i feel like this ask was made just for me because i use zayne’s heartbeats as a way to de-stress every day LOL. i got a little bit carried away so i hope more than a few paragraphs is fine :3

It had started as a joke. Some silly, off-the-cuff banter you didn’t even remember starting, much less continuing until the two of you sat face-to-face on the couch in his office. It didn’t really matter, in your mind, how it happened. All that mattered was the thrumming; the steady rhythm of a heart, his heart, resting warm and stable under layers of skin and fabric.

It didn’t occur to you to be embarrassed. Not when you could feel it against your fingertips, burning through the outer layers of Zayne’s frost-tipped skin, coming to rest against you like a flower, like some sort of fragile thing with petals of ice. If you could, you wished to hold it in your hands, softly, tenderly, in the vain hope it would never crack. A prayer, perhaps, to a god you couldn’t remember.

“What is your verdict, doctor?” the teasing lilt of the last word brought you back to yourself, to the man in front of you. Zayne looked at you, eyes sparkling in amusement.

You coughed lightly. “It’s… uh… normal.” You didn’t remove your hand. “But kind of weird.”

Zayne’s heart stuttered along with his chuckle. “Weird?”

“Yes, weird,” you repeated, letting the lull of his heart diffuse from your fingertips to your chest. “I feel like I’m going to fall asleep.”

A beat of silence. “Go ahead, then.”

You blinked. Part of you thought you must’ve heard wrong — perhaps his heartbeat was laced with some sort of hallucinogen — but when you looked back to him, to the soft upturn at the corners of his mouth, you realized he was serious.

“What?” you asked. “Just like that?”

Zayne raised his eyebrows. “Why not? Leading research suggests that eight to ten hours of sleep is best for optimal performance. And someone I know is falling behind in that regard.”

You considered it, humming. Then you leaned forward until the side of your head replaced your hand on his chest. From here, you could hear the tempo picking up pace directly in your ear.

“It’s even weirder now,” you said.

“Is it?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Maybe it likes you.”

You smiled against his chest. “Maybe I like it, too. Maybe, even, I want to give it a big kiss on t—”

“Go to sleep.” His tone was faux-stern, the way he sounded when he wasn’t fully committed to deflecting something. You could have kept prying, you knew, just to see how far the heart metaphor would go, but you decided to give his actual heart a break.

“Fine,” you said. “But I hope it knows it belongs to a great doctor.”

Another stutter against your ear. “I’ll be sure to pass on the message.”

Content, you settle against him, not caring that you’re still half-sitting. It’s easy, then, to listen. To wash away. To hear the sounds of rising, falling, cresting like snowcapped mountains and falling stars, and feel as though you’re a falling star yourself, hopeless.

“I wonder if it loves me,” you murmur, half-conscious, half-hopeful, half-blurred.

The last thing you hear is the low timbre of Zayne’s voice, softer than you’ve ever heard it, sending you off into the dark.

“It does.”

💙 bonus hc 💙: zayne has different ways to check heartbeats depending on how close he is to someone. for his normal days on the job, he uses a stethoscope, but when it comes to those he gets close to, he’ll take it by wrist pulse or neck. when the two of you start dating, he becomes a fan of pretending he can only take your pulse if he’s resting his head against your chest, which usually leads to him falling asleep on you.

© 2024, written by sunderingstars. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim my work as your own.

[xetlynn]

Seth Clearwater Imagine!-

Flustered Flirt

Warnings: None really

Requested!

“Seth’s here, Mom!” I called out as I excitedly put my shoes on. She comes out from the living room with a smirk on her face. “Alright, have fun. I better not get another call from anyone on the rez or Chief Swan like last time.” She tells me, reminding me of what happened a few weeks ago when he and I were being loud and got kicked out of a store. My face warms up. “Yes, I know.” I swung my bag onto my shoulder, exiting the house. “Love you!” My mom shouts just as I shut the door. 

I speed walk over to Seth who was on an old dirt bike he and Jacob worked on together. He hands me his helmet. I grin, taking it. “Where’s yours?” I poke him, swinging my leg over the side. “You’re more important.” He simply tells me, and my heart quickens. Ever since my mom became good friends with Billy Black and Charlie Swan I have been going to the reservation. It was quite often, it was inevitable for Seth and I to meet. 

And first glance, it was something weird. The whole world shifted to something brighter, and in Forks, that’s saying a lot. 

I learned later on that he had imprinted on me. He’s a werewolf. It was strange to take in and have to act like it was normal but Billy had explained the stories to me.

 I knew what they believed in, even if they called it myths, after the imprint thing and then actually being shown everything there was no way I couldn’t believe in it. That would make me plain stupid. 

“[Name]?” I snap out of my thoughts. “Hm?” 

“Hold on.” He snickers, “Oh, right.” I say, wrapping my arms around his upper waist, he starts the bike and it jolts forward before going smoothly. Today we are going shopping for Bella and Edward’s wedding, it’s this weekend and I realized I had nothing to wear so we decided to go today. He already had his outfit so it was really for me. 

Seth is pretty excited about it too, he didn’t expect to be invited so since he was he’s been non-stop talking about it. It’s cute. 

Once we got to the little strip mall, he patiently waits for me to get off before following after me. I take my helmet off, placing it down. He starts laughing and I look up at him confused. “Your hair,” He points, I look at the window of the store in front of us and I realized it was super messy. “I’ll help you.” He smiles sweetly, flattening down my hair, I stare up at him, and watch his face turn a little red. “And you look as beautiful as ever.” He backs away like I’m an art piece. I roll my eyes, shoving him playfully. “Was I not beautiful with messy hair?” I cross my arms and his face drops. 

“No, I mean yes- I mean- you’re always beautiful. I was just saying that-” I cut him off with laughter. “I’m messing with you.” I take his hand in mine, and we both walk into a dress store. 

“Oh, right.” He sighs outloud, I smile to myself. 

Once we go in there’s a few looks here and there. Watching the both of us as we go through all of the dresses I thought were pretty. “How about this one.” I hold up a light pink dress that stops right before the knees. He stands back, thinking about it. “It’s pretty but I think you’re pretty without the dress.” He tries to flirt, and my eyes widen at his words. I look around to see if anyone heard but no one was near us. “Seth!” I whisper, hitting his arm. “What?” He seems surprised I hit him. “You just said I look better naked!” I again whisper to him, his eyes look like they’re about to pop out of his head. “No, I meant that you’re pretty out of the dress like you’re pretty- ugh, I’m an idiot.” He hides his face in his hands and I quietly chuckle, placing the dress back before holding his wrists, pushing them away from his face forcing him to look at me. 

“You’re not an idiot you just need to work on your flirting.” I tease him, and he squeezes his eyes shut in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I mean it’s not like you aren’t pretty naked, I wouldn’t know but gosh I just made this weirder.” He groans, throwing his head back as I laugh again, I pull him into a hug. “It’s okay, Seth. I know how you are.” I let him go and then moved on to the next dress.

It was a dark purple which goes into the color palate that they gave us for what to wear. It was another short dress too.

“I think I’ll go try this one on.” I kiss his cheek, going towards the dressing rooms. 

After getting changed, I turn to face the mirror, looking at myself in the dress. I sway my hips to see how it goes out. Approving how it looks I step outside of the room, “Seth!” I call out for him, he was looking at another dress but once I got his attention he jumps and then comes over. “Need help?” 

“No, I think this is the one.” I grin, fully coming out to show him, twirling around. He stares quietly at me. “Seth? What do you think?” I take the sides into my hands as I become self-conscious of his silence. 

“You look beautiful.” He tells me, my face grows warm and I look away from him. 

“Hey, I’m serious.” He says, “As beautiful as when my hair was messy.” I joke, he scoffs. “I don’t know if you can beat that look.”

I gasp, and he laughs. “I’m kidding, you look gorgeous, [Name].” He takes my hands in his. 

“You’re cute.” I step up on my tiptoes to peck him on the lips. I then step back. “Unzip me?” I turn around. “Uh, are you- are you sure you want me to?” He nervously asks.

I look back at him. “If you’re not comfortable I can ask a worker,” I assure him and he shakes his head. “I can do it.” He puts a hand on my hip then the other one unzips my dress. Once he’s done I turn around and smile. “Thank you.” 

I go back into the dressing room and shut the door. Getting dressed back into my regular clothes. Luckily the dress wasn’t super expensive. 

Bonus!

The three werewolves phase back to their human forms, Leah and Embry laughing uncontrollably as Seth hides his face like before from embarrassment. “You unzipped her dress, it’s not like you saw anything.” Embry cackles, Leah holding herself as she tries to calm her laughter.

“Okay, I get it!” He cries out angrily at the two for teasing him. “Hey, it’s okay. She’s your first girlfriend.” Leah tries to hold in her laugh, but Seth can immediately tell. 

“I hate being a werewolf.” He steps away from the two, storming off.

[mixelation]

reborn au, tori POV. lead up to a mysterious ANBU social lmao

“Wait,” Tori said, sitting up from where she’d sprawled out on the picnic blanket. “ANBU parties are real?”

“They’re boring,” Itachi told her, not even looking back at her as he made another throw with a kunai. He tossed a second one at it to redirect it at a new angle that would have been otherwise impossible to throw it at. As usual, he hit the bullseye. The target was shoved into the hollow of tree and angled downward; it was an impressive shot. 

“This one will be fun,” Shisui promised. “I told you. I’ll be there.”

 Itachi tilted his head back, considering. 

“I want to go,” Tori said, now sitting up fully. She thought “exclusive ANBU parties” were like… dumb rumors for people who desperately wanted ANBU to be cool. She was shocked this was a real thing ANBU actually did. But also, now that she was forced to accept they were real, she bet they were indeed incredibly boring, or at least deeply weird. She had to see for herself. 

“I’m not inviting you,” Shisui replied. “You’re not ANBU.”

“Itachi will invite me,” Tori decided. They went to social events as a couple now. That was kind of part of their whole deal. 

Shisui rolled his eyes. “Itachi can’t invite you,” he said. “It’s an ANBU event, not an ANBU-and-friends event.”

“I don’t see who would stop me,” Itachi said, moving slightly to the left so he could try his throw from an even weirder angle. “A few non-ANBU seem to sneak in every time anyway.”

Shisui clicked his tongue. 

“Why are you being such a killjoy?” Tori asked Shisui, annoyed. “You’re the one who crashed our date about this.” 

“Date…?” Shisui said. “I showed up and Itachi was training and you were reading porn.”

“This is related to the porn,” Itachi said, throwing his kunai. This time he only hit the edge of the bullseye. He frowned. 

“How is it…” Shisui started, then shook his head like he didn’t want to know. Itachi moved further away to make his throw even harder. “Anyway, my point is. It’ll be fun, even if Tori gets denied at the door.”

“I won’t be,” Tori said, dismissive. “They want Itachi there, right?”

Shisui’s lips thinned, but he did have a counter argument. Itachi was, to the confusion of everyone who knew him, considered sort of a big deal in most circles. Even though she was objectively correct. Tori found Shisui’s lack of argument disappointing. She already had “then I’ll convince Kakashi it would be funny, and then no force on this earth will be able to stop us” lined up and waiting. She loved pulling that one. It could make everyone from Shisui to the Hokage anxious in two seconds flat. 

Itachi’s kunai finally missed. 

“Here,” he said, finally turning to Tori. “This is an actual impossible shot.”

Tori hopped to her feet and stood where Itachi indicated. Then she chucked her kunai in the vague direction of the target. It sailed too low, then abruptly changed direction mid-air and slammed point-first into the target’s bullseye. 

Shisui’s eyes widened.

“See?” Tori said to Itachi. “The ‘fuinjutsu can only guide a kunai as well as the wielder can throw it’ thing is fake news. Even a civilian could have done that.”

She’d had to mark up the target and her kunai with like five different seals each, which made this particular maneuver basically useless in actual combat, but the scene in the book had been about carnival tricks anyway. Also, the confused look on Shisui’s face was hilarious. She wasn’t going to explain to him what was going on. 

Itachi, being a traitor, opened his mouth and immediately explained what was going on. 

“It did start as a picnic,” Itachi concluded of his explanation of their “date.” Halfway through lunch, Itachi had objected to the passage of Icha Icha Tori had read out loud as an actually impossible kunai throw, even though Tori’s point was that you totally could make an impossible shot by carefully applied fuinjutsu. 

If Shisui thought any of Itachi’s explanation was weird, he didn’t comment on it. This was basically the only thing Tori liked about Shisui: he could listen to Itachi’s insane comments and not even bat an eye. 

Shisui stayed around a little longer, not even remotely ashamed that he’d crashed what was ostensibly a private moment. The weather was gorgeous, which was why they’d picked a picnic instead of something more public, and their spot along the river was good for swimming. Shisui pulled off his uniform and did a running jump into the river. Tori watched Itachi stiffen as he hit the water and then relax when his head appeared again, alive and well and laughing. 

“You should go in too,” Tori told him. “I’ll be there in a second. I want to finish this chapter.”

They abandoned the river when a group of screaming Academy students showed up. Tori toweled dry, pondering if it would look weird if she invited Deidara to come back later that day. 

“Don’t you need to be practicing your aim more?” Itachi asked her while he gathered up their kunai. “Not just making elaborate seals to cheat?”

Tori blanched. “You don’t have to bring that up now,” she said. Not in front of Shisui.

“What’s wrong with your aim?” Shisui asked, teasing. “Is it actually bad, or have you accidentally fallen victim to the Itachi-adjusted rating system?”

“Please,” Tori replied. “We were genin together. Itachi hasn’t shut up about my aim since I was twelve. I’m fine; he’s just insane.” 

“She has a missive from the Hokage,” Itachi said blandly. 

“Itachi,” Tori hissed. 

“Really?” Shisui asked. “Huh. How’d that happen?”

It wasn’t uncommon to get an official assignment from the Hokage’s office to foster a specific skill to benefit the village. But usually it was something unique: training a bloodline limit, developing a combat style that was rare or specially valuable, practice with an unusual weapon, stuff like that. “Practice with kunai” was a very weird thing to get a Hokage-level missive for; it was more like something a captain would tell a subordinate. 

Also, given that Tori was a Special Jounin, it was an embarrassing thing to pitch as a skill she had to work on. That was the type of order you gave to a new genin, or a chunin that’d spent too many days doing desk work. 

Her kunai skills were perfectly on par for her rank, thank you very much. It was just that Itachi was a freaky genius whose favorite hobby was doing trickshots, and his standards were insane.  Minato just wanted her to push herself from good to exceptional, not just with standard kunai but with specialized ones, because she was learning Hiraishin and he wanted her to be able to use it the way he did. 

Tori wasn’t sure she was going to just copy him, once she had the actual jutsu mastered. It didn’t really feel like her style. But then again, she almost never thought about how to apply her research and jutsu to combat until she was actively staring a threat in the face, and being able to slap a seal onto a kunai and throw it wherever she wanted was undeniably a vital skill. She would do the extra practice without complaint. 

But Itachi didn’t have to run his mouth about it!

They walked back to the village proper together, taking the windy foot trail rather than hopping into the trees. A lazy day, indeed. 

“I’m going to walk Tori home,” Itachi said once they hit the paved streets of Konoha. He very pointedly took Tori’s hand. 

“Sure,” Shisui said. “See you tomorrow night?”

“He’ll be there,” Tori promised. 

Shisui, she would begrudgingly admit, was an extremely charismatic and friendly guy that most people fell in love with on sight. But, in her experience, most ANBU she’d meet were anti-social weirdos with personalities like burnt toast. She absolutely needed to see what their weird-ass parties were like. For science. 

Itachi dropped her hand the second Shisui was out of sight. It wasn’t that they didn’t like each other; it was just that neither of them really saw the point in hand-holding. Tori didn’t like how doing it for more than a couple minutes made her palm sweaty, and Itachi had more than once said something wild like, We would mutually improve our defensive capabilities with both hands free.

Plenty of couples didn’t hold hands, Tori was sure. It was just very important to Itachi to be carrying a metaphorical sign that said, I AM TAKEN. DO NOT APPROACH. 

“It would be convenient if you did get denied at the door,” Itachi said conversationally. “Then we could leave. If we did it together, we’d seem united without doing any real work.”

“But I want to go,” Tori said. “I want to study your little ANBU guys under a microscope, like a petri dish of amoebas.”

“Don’t tell them that,” Itachi said, a tiny little smile cracking over his face. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you special treatment,” Tori said. “I’d tag my Itachi-amoeba with red fluorescent protein.”

Itachi snorted with amusement.

[its-time-to-write]

Jamie tartt asking you to go on his brand trip (the one he asked Keeley on in the finale)

Thanks for being my first request! Hope ya like it <3

don’t make this any harder

It is almost the end of the football season, and all AFC Richmond can talk about are their plans once they get a break. You’re excited because it means you get more time with Jamie. You’ve been dating for about four months now, and it’s been weird. Good weird, not bad weird. Sometimes it’s just funny to you that Jamie took one look at you in that coffee shop and decided yep, that’s the one I’m going for. Honestly, you were a little surprised when someone had plunked a cinnamon latte on your small table, and even more surprised to look up and see that someone had some of the most gorgeous eyes you had ever seen. 

I’m Jamie, he had said. What’s your name?

And the rest is history.

This is the first time you feel like you are having fun in a relationship. Jamie has a way of getting you to loosen up and laugh for what feels like the first time in ages. After the first two weeks of dating, he starts to sneak into your flat through the window, so your flatmate won’t hear. A week after that, you go to your first Richmond game, wearing a number 9 with the name Tartt emblazoned across the back. 

Jamie has the idea early on to try to synchronize your lunch breaks, so you start having lunch together almost every day. It’s nice. 

It’s nice to want and to be wanted.

On paper, it looks like you see Jamie a lot, but you really don’t.

“Once football season’s over, we’ll have time, yeah?” he says.

You nod and count the days.

—

The season ends in three days, and you and Jamie are sitting on a bench while he eats whatever weird protein-based meal he has and you sip soup out of a thermos through a straw.

“I’m just saying it’s weird, babe,” Jamie says.

“Oh really, how is it any weirder than insisting on eating any kind of egg with a spoon?” you reply.

“Oi, I told you that in private!”

You both dissolve into laughter and once it fades, Jamie looks strangely pensive. You give him a gentle nudge on his shoulder. “Hey. What’s up?”

Jamie half turns to look at you with that pensive expression. “Eh, it’s nothin. Don’t worry about it.”

You raise your eyebrow at him and Jamie sighs. “Wish you wouldn’t do that, makes me feel insecure about me own lack of eyebrow control.” 

This makes you laugh again, but you’re not about to let him deflect that easily. You reach up with your thumbs to smooth his eyebrows. “C’mon Jamie, out with it. What’s on your mind?”

He’s still looking at you as he starts to speak, thinks better of it, then starts again.

“Babe,” he begins, taking your hand, “do you- I mean, you don’t have to, it’s super lame and like probably bad, so it won’t hurt my feelings if you say no- but do you want to come over for dinner on Saturday? I’ll like cook for ya and you don’t have to bring anything, but I thought it would be nice because now I actually have time to cook and I haven’t in ages, and like I said if you don’t want to, I get it, and-” he probably could have kept rambling on but you stop him.

“Jamie,” you smile, “I would love to! Why did that make you so nervous to ask?”

He shrugs. “I dunno, I guess- I mean, besides Keeley you’re kind of my first real relationship and I don’t want to fuck it up or scare you off.”

Oh. You let that process in your head for a moment as you squeeze his hand.

After a moment you say, “I’m not scared by your egg-eating habits and you’re not scared of my eyebrow muscles, so I think we’re going to be ok.”

Jamie pulls you close to him for a kiss, which is interrupted by an alarm on his phone. You both groan. Time to go back to work.

—

The rest of the week flies by and before you know it, you’re standing in front of Jamie’s door holding a bottle of wine. He said not to bring anything, but it gives you something to do with your hands and Richard has been begging you to let him explain wine for weeks now, so you figured you might as well. The weather is warm, so you’re wearing your favorite linen dress. It’s held together by a single wraparound tie on the side, easy to get on. And off. Odds are good that it will end up in a ball on Jamie’s floor before you have to go home.

You’ve barely knocked before the door swings open to reveal a smiling, nicely dressed Jamie.

“Hi,” you smile back.

He slips his arms around your waist and kisses you before saying, “C’mon in!” 

“You didn’t have to bring anythin,” he continues, holding open the door.

You shrug. “You know how Richard gets.”

Jamie huffs out a laugh and you follow him to the kitchen. You’re not sure what you were expecting, but it certainly was not this. This boy is making his own pizza and has set out the most impressive spread of toppings that you’ve ever seen. It looks and smells amazing.

“Jamie,” you say, still gaping at it all, “where on earth did you learn to do this?”

He looks up from rolling out a flat circle of dough, “Hm? Oh, eh I dunno. I like cooking and I like pizza, and you like pizza, and I’ve been making this recipe since like fuckin’ forever so I thought I’d just stick with an old classic. D’you mind stirring that?” He points to a pot on the stove with a wooden spoon poking out.

You literally have no words as you walk over and peer in.

“Jamie. Did you make this sauce?” you ask incredulously.

Jamie slaps his pizza dough with finality and leans up against the counter next to you, away from the flame.

“Uh yeah, I did,” he replies, scratching his neck. “Don’t overstir.”

You put down the spoon. “Jaim. How am I just now finding out about this. You’re pretty as hell, fantastic at football, and you cook?”

Jamie grins. “You think I’m pretty?”

You roll your eyes. “That’s what you got from this, you nerd?”

His hands have made their way to your waist again.

“Nice dress,” he says as he fiddles with the tie. “Got some good ideas for it later.”

You roll your eyes again, unable to suppress a grin. “Come here,” you say, pulling on his gold chain to get his lips at the right angle.

—

You’re halfway through dinner when Jamie has started to look pensive again. He denies it at first so you leave it, but after three more bites of your pizza he says, “Hey.”

You look up at him expectantly.

“I wasn’t, I mean I’m not- this wasn’t what I wanted to ask you,” he rushes out.

You tilt your head, still waiting.

“You know how we wanted to spend more time together this summer? Well, Nike have a branding thing for me in Brazil.”

You set down your slice and let out a soft “oh.”

“Yeah.” Jamie says. “So what d’you think?” Now he’s looking at you expectantly, and a little hesitant. You understand his nervousness now because you’re feeling it too. Four months is not a very long time to be together, and Brazil is a beautiful place with beautiful people. You can do a lot in Brazil.

You study your wine glass. “How long will you be gone?”

“Well, the shoot’s not that long, but I’ll probably be there a month. Nike’s paying for the whole thing, hotel, some of the meals, whatever. Flight’s next week. It’s mad.”

You nod. Jamie’s still looking at you.

Your mouth has gone dry. You’ll handle this with grace and at least you’ll go out on a good note with the best meal you’ve ever had. 

You’re still looking intently at the wine glass but you rip your eyes away and force yourself to look at Jamie.

“That’s great Jaim- Jamie. I’m happy for you. This is a big deal, and I’m sure you’ll love Brazil.”

Jamie’s face transforms into a look of relief as you speak.

“That’s great, yeah, I mean, I didn’t know what you’d think because obviously we talked about being together this summer and y’know, people say one thing but mean another, so I wasn’t sure, but that’s great!”

This boy and nervous rambling. He could give Ted a run for his money.

You force a smile, eyes on your plate now. You feel like all your energy has been drained from you in one fell swoop, while across from you Jamie is smiling like he won the lottery.

Is he really that excited to break things off with you?

He’s talking again so you do your best to focus on what he’s saying. 

“-And I was thinking we could go to this beach Keeley was telling me about and obviously we have to try all the food because granddad won’t be around to fuckin boss me around-”

What?

“Jamie,” you interrupt, “what?”

Jamie looks at you, confused. “What?”

“What are you talking about?”

Jamie looks at you like you’re mental. “I’m talkin’ about Brazil? The trip we’re goin’ on next week?”

Things are starting to click into place. You reach across the table and put your hand on top of his to steady yourself.

“You’re taking me on your brand deal?”

Now Jamie is really looking at you like you’ve gone mad. “That’s what I just asked ya. What are you on about?”

You stare at him for a moment then slowly say. “I thought you were breaking up with me so you could sleep with hot people in Brazil.”

Jamie stares back incredulously. “Why the fuck would you think that?”

You throw your hands in the air. “You were so nervous to talk to me! You said you were going to Brazil! That’s what people do! They get nervous to break up so they use some big trip to make it seem easier! And you’re you and you’re young, hot, and famous, so why would you be dragging me around with you?”

“You think I’m hot?”

You’re going to throttle him. “You know I think you’re hot, I’ve let you see me naked. Can we please stay on topic?”

Jamie chuckles at that.

“Look, I was nervous ‘cause you’re like, really fit. But it’s like, you’re also fit mentally? And I don’t get a lot of girls like that who also like me back. And Nike’s only paying for one room so… there’s that.”

He’s blushing a lot for someone who has been caught hopping out of your window at 3am.

Your head is in your hands now. Jamie gets up from his seat and pulls you up from your chair into his arms.

“Babe,” he says into your hair, “will you come to Brazil with me for a month while we fuck around like the hot couple that we are?”

You nod into his chest then lift your head to look at his face. He’s smiling at you. “I’m a dumbass,” you say.

His smile grows as he strokes your cheek.

“Yeah, but you’re my dumbass,” he says as he reaches for that tie on the side of your dress.

[fir3ylolol]

Hello :) I saw your requests are open and wanted to request MK1 Raiden/reader where she works at Madam Bo's and he frequents Madam Bo's just to see her. And then he finally works the courage to ask her out? Turns out she's also been eyeing him everytime he visits. They share a first kiss on the date too. Can get smutty if you want I just love Raiden and your writing hahaha thanks 💕 I may be back to request again 🫣

lightning in a bottle

pairing: Raiden x Reader

summary: you've been working at madam bo's for a while and noticed one young man who comes in a lot. it doesn't hurt that he's cute and nice. that is, until he starts acting a little weird one day

tw: mentions of drinking, surprise date, first kiss

a/n: my first non-johnny fic! this was requested (obviously lol) and it was so much fun to write! also, expect a second chapter, i'm not done with raiden just yet ;)

word count: 1.53 k

pt. 2

Ao3

This was the 10th-no-11th time he had come in this week, and you were starting to worry about him. Sure, he was cute and always tipped well, even complimenting Madam Bo directly every time. But eating here multiple times a day wasn’t going to be good for his body. Or his wallet. Yet, you said nothing like that to him and his friend. You had a system at this point. He would walk in and flash a smile, bowing slightly to you as you bow back. You would show him and his friend to their usual tables, not even bothering with menus at this point. You put in the order for their usuals and get back to your cleaning duties, sneaking looks back at him. You can’t help yourself, it’s hard to get sweet, handsome customers who aren’t drunk off their asses.

That seemed like the same thing was happening again, the bows and warm smiles shared between you too. But he was alone this time, no friend following shortly behind. As you start walking to the table, you hear a cough from behind you and you turn to realize he’s not with you. For the first time in a while, you hear him say something other than “The usual,” “Yes, please,” “Thank you,” and “The food was incredible, Madam Bo.” 

“I’d actually like to sit over there if that’s okay,” he points to a small table on the other side of the restaurant. “Yeah, of course!” You smile and pick up a menu, not wanting to assume again and lead him over to the sun-baked corner. He sits as you set the menu down, smiling with an expectancy of an order. But he just smiles, grabs the menu, and says, “Some tea, please,” before browsing his options.

You walk away, half-stunned, and find Madam Bo. She looks up at you, ready to hear the usual. But as you walk in, a confused look on your face, she grabs a glass of water and forces you to sit. “What’s wrong? Another drunk idiot mean to you?” She pats your back slightly as you look up at her. “He didn’t want the usual. He just wants some tea.”

“What??” She looks just as stunned as you but suddenly bursts out laughing. “Oh, I know what’s going on. Good for him, hm?” She forces you back on your feet, shoving a warm teapot and glass in your hand. “Go on, he’s getting thirsty without you.” You shake off how weird she was, even weirder than usual, and walk back to his table. As you pour the tea for him, you ask with as much confidence as you can muster, “Do you know what you’d like to eat?”

He clears his throat and looks behind you quickly. You turn after him, noticing Madam Bo leaning around the corner with a wink, disappearing a second later. Turning back, he stood up and pulled a chair out. “Could you sit, please?” Normally, you wouldn’t. He’s a customer. But he’s so kind, and he said it with such confidence, that you sit down across from him. He plants himself back down with a large grin. “Thank you. I know you’ve served me quite a bit, which I appreciate. And I know your name because…” He gestures vaguely to where a nametag would be on his chest before continuing, “But I don’t think you know mine. I’m Raiden. I’ve been coming by a lot lately, and I figured I wasn’t getting younger. Also, Madam Bo told me to. But, I think you’re really cool, and attractive, and I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me.” He paused to take a deep breath. “Now, if that's alright with you.”

“H-huh?” You take a long minute to process what he’s saying. “Madam…Bo?” You turn around again and see her waving at you, with a wide, conniving smile. You turn back to him, his smile starting to falter slightly. But honestly, you did need a break and you had noticed how cute he was for a while. When else would you get this chance? “Well…yeah, I’d love to.” You smile at him, which gives him another surge of confidence. “Great! Do you care what we order, or?” You shrug, untying your apron from your waist, “I’m not picky, I’ve tried everything twice.” He nods to Madam Bo behind you, hearing her shuffle away quickly. “Really? Are you a big fan of Madam Bo’s cooking?” 

“I guess you could say that,” you smile at him, he’s even nicer than you thought. “So what spurred this on? I’m assuming that it wasn’t all her doing,” you say with a general nod in Madam Bo’s direction. “Oh, no! I’ve been by a lot lately, and it’s mostly because of you. Not to sound creepy, but you’re quite attractive and nice and…well, I just think you’re cool.” His nervous smile widens, pouring a cup of tea for both of you. “Why, thank you. You’re pretty cool too. But I was wondering where your friend was.” He laughs slightly, “Oh, Kung Lao? He was busy with training today.”

“Training?” You tilt your head slightly, taking a sip of tea. “Yeah, Kung Lao and I are training under Madam Bo in various fighting styles. You know, Shaolin Fist, Nan Chuan, Jujustu.” “I only know one of those,” you laugh out slightly. “But you do a lot according to Madam Bo. Is she your grandma or something?” He coughs slightly, choking on the sip of tea that is in his mouth. “Oh, no no no. She’s just a good teacher.” “That I am!” Madam Bo appears out of nowhere, holding a large tray of food and placing it down. “You better eat up! I made this just for you two.” And she’s gone as quickly as she got there. Raiden looks at you and gestures at the food as if he’s asking you to eat first. And who are you to deny such a tempting request?

You both end up eating slowly since you can’t stop talking. He’s very humble and funny and genuinely likes hearing about you and your life. You learn more about him as well, that he’s a farmer and that he’s the Champion of Earthrealm. That sort of confused you at first, but he started telling the most incredible stories about another realm of fantastical beings and beautiful scenery, the backdrop for a massive showdown. You found yourself captivated by him, his words, and his charisma. Much too soon, the food is done, and you can feel Madam Bo shooting daggers into the back of your head. “You know, my shift is well past over. I should probably head home,” you say while standing up, grabbing your apron, and bowing slightly to him. He scrambles up after you, following as you walk towards the door, “Well then, allow me to escort you.” You giggle at his eagerness but nod slightly. “Alright, just follow me.” You wave to Madam Bo as you leave, her smile even wider. As you walk out the door, you hear her call out, “I knew you would be cute together! Lots of cute babies!” You hear Raiden cough next to you at how blunt she is, but you can’t help but laugh at her words. “What a typical elder! Only focused on what we can bring her, which is more kids to dote on.” He laughs along, glad you see the humor in it, “She just can’t help it, can she?”

You both walk down the dark street, shoulders bumping against each other and laughing quietly in the dark of night. You finally reach your house and lean against the door frame, looking at him sweetly. “You know, I had a good time today. I’m glad you asked me out. I’d love to do it again.” He lets out a sigh, a content smile on his face, “Oh, I’m glad. I don’t mean to sound weird, but I’ve noticed you for a while, and…I wanted to shoot my shot.” You reach your hand out, lightly tracing down his arm until you reach his hand, “You’re not the only one, you know. I’m always happier when you come in.” He twists your hand slightly, finally interlacing your fingers lightly and pulling you closer slightly. There you are, mere inches away from him under the moon, heart racing faster. His breathing is heavy, intense eyes looking into yours, and you finally close the gap. Leaning closer, you meet his lips with yours, light and gentle, which he gladly accepts. His free hand cups your face, pulling you closer. You’re lost in the moment, your hand against his chest, as your senses are full of him. You only feel his touch, smell the dust from the fields, hear your heartbeats synced up, taste his lips on yours. And then, when you pull away for air, all you can see is his gentle face, eyes lit up in joy. “We should do this again, yeah?” You whisper, still slightly out of breath. “Yeah, we should,” he whispers back, resting his forehead against yours with a smile.

[aka-indulgence]

AGGRESSIVE ENCOURAGEMENT

Thank you @vixenrose-64 for commissioning! This was a joy to write, I love nice UF!Papyrus hehehe

(UF!Sans x Reader, UF!Papyrus & Reader Gender non-specific, no content warnings)

You’ve liked Sans. No scratch that, not like- you love him. (It’s so weird to admit it to yourself…)

You thought you were ready to tell him that, but seeing him sitting on that bar stool has glued your feet to the ground and you’re starting to worry that you’ll chicken out…

Thankfully, a hero in a flowing crimson cape has come to shove save you.

———————

Cars whizz by you, the sun was just starting to set. It was still warm out- yet, your fingers were cold to the touch, your stomach tied in knots. And weirder still, you were sweating down your forehead. You check your phone for the thousandth time, opening the message that has been plighting you for the last few minutes.

You: Hey Sans, you up for Grillby’s today?

Sans: 👟

Sans: what time?

You: Maybe in

You: 15 mins? Im on my way

Sans: ok

He responded as usual; curt and nonchalant, it was what you were used to. He was more expressive face to face, you knew he wasn’t purposefully trying to sound disinterested but- you wish you could read his tone right now. You bite your lip and look up to see him already at the bar, nursing a drink. Maybe you should’ve messaged him when you were sure you’re ready, it’s just- Sans doesn’t usually show up on time, let alone early. You thought you were ready when you sent him that text, but when you saw Sans’ back through the window… your confidence drained.

Even from behind your heart flutters… you’re down baaad, and it excites the butterflies already in your stomach.

Come on (Y/n), walk in. It’s that easy.

…

I can’t walk in.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

“eeeEEEEK!”

You almost jump clear out of your shoes when you suddenly find a presence beside you. You turn around to see an angry red eyelight staring at you from above from within intimidating dark sockets. Papyrus stood there, gloved hands crossed in front of him, judging you with that withering gaze, jagged scowl set deeper than usual. He wore a sleek leather jacket and a shirt, accented by his trademark red scarf.

He looked grumpy, but… didn’t he always?

“Oh my god Papyrus,” you sigh, dragging a hand down your face, “don’t scare me, I thought you were Sans for a second…”

You thought he’d teleported to you when he saw you. You could feel the heat in your cheeks fade away as you calmed down.

“OH REALLY?” he inquired, “WHAT’S THE MATTER, DISAPPOINTED?”

You blinked. “Disa… whuh? Why would I be?”

“THAT I’M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND?”

You spoke too soon. The heat returned to your cheeks- you knew exactly what he meant but- how did he know?

You decide to feign ignorance.

“Pfft, what’re you talking about, Paps? I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“SANS.” Papyrus replies lightning fast, stopping you in your facade. You really don’t have a reply to that.

He smirks. He’s caught you and he knows it.

“N… I… I’’m not dating him,” is what you decided on, denying by not telling the whole truth. Papyrus, however, squints his sockets in a way that reminds you of a teacher pressing you about a slip up you’re trying to cover up.

You crack, just a little. “A-at least… not yet…?”

“HM.” Papyrus smirks. “I KNEW IT. YOU’RE TRYING TO CONFESS TO HIM RIGHT NOW, AREN’T YOU?”

You make a sound akin to a mouse about to cry, hiding your face in your shirt. Usually Papyrus gets impatient when you don’t answer him fast enough, but from his smug expression you think he’s savoring the fact that you’re turning into a boiling tea kettle at his observation.

“How’d… why do you know?” You ask, actually desperate to find the answer. Papyrus merely scoffs.

“OH YOU POOR THING,” He says patronizingly, “YOU COULDN’T BE ANY MORE OBVIOUS. DID YOU THINK YOU HID IT WELL? I CAN SEE YOU TURN INTO A TOMATO WHENEVER YOU’RE AROUND MY BROTHER.”

You feel the strength leaving your knees. You wanted to sink into the ground and hope Papyrus forgets about all this. But Papyrus has no time for your mortification.

“SO. WHY ARE YOU STANDING HERE THEN?”

You suppose there’s no point pretending anymore.

“I don’t know Pap… I’m just… scared. He doesn’t seem the type to jump into committed relationships, but it’s not just that. I just… don’t know how he’ll respond? I don’t want to ruin things with him if he doesn’t see me like that. What if I weird him out? I…”

You pictured that handsome shark grin and sigh heavily. “He’s… hot, ok?? He’s smooth, he’s a flirt, and… he could just get any hot bod in this town by blinking. I just wonder if he’s out of my league, I don’t know if he’d want to… settle with… me..?”

You startle when Papyrus leans down to your eye level- almost bending at a perfect 90 degree angle, squinting at you. His jagged teeth were pointed downwards, and you could feel the scrutiny. He looks more mad…? You can’t tell honestly- knowing Papyrus he might just be thinking deeply. You feel anxiety whispering, telling you that Papyrus is going to confirm your fears-

“THAT’S THE MOST ASININE THING I’VE EVER HEARD FROM YOU, HUMAN.”

“Um… huh?”

Papyrus shakes his head. “YOU’RE SMART, HUMAN, BUT… YOU’VE GOT IT ALL WRONG.”

Before you could manage a timid “what,”, Papyrus rounds on you.

“YOU REALLY THINK SANS IS OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE?”

Flummoxed, you glance left and right. “Y… yes…?

“WRONG!” You jump, “YOU ARE OUT OF SANS’ LEAGUE. NEXT THING YOU’LL SAY IS THAT YOU DON’T KNOW IF SANS LIKES YOU.”

“... He does?”

It’s as if those two words exploded something in Papyrus’ skull, because his jaw drops.

“DOES HE- HMPH! AND I THOUGHT SANS WAS THE COMEDIAN.” Papyrus frowns, as if he’s offended you’d ask such a thing. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT BONEHEAD TALKS ABOUT YOU? YOUR NAME RINGS IN MY SKULL WHEN SANS TALKS!”

He shakes his head. “‘DOES HE LIKE ME’... TCH. HE’S ALWAYS A SHOWOFF AROUND YOU. TRYING TO MAKE YOU LIKE HIM MORE SOMEHOW. I CAN’T BELIEVE THE BOTH OF YOU COULD BE SO DENSE- HE DOESN’T KNOW YOU LIKE HIM.”

You let out a sigh of relief. You were going to cry if he did.

“IT’S INFURIATING HOW MUCH HE SHOWS OFF WITH YOU. I’LL GIVE YOU THIS WARNING NOW, HUMAN, HE’S TRYING TO RUSE YOU INTO THINKING HE’S HOT STUFF.” He leans towards you, whispering “He’s A Fucking Nerd.”

Your mouth opens. Papyrus doesn’t curse.

“But… isn’t that how Sans is like? He flirts and tries to get in bed with you?”

Papyrus shakes his head.

“HE’S… EUGH. IN LOVE.” Papyrus makes a face of comical disdain, “I KNOW WHAT SANS IS LIKE WHEN HE’S ONLY FLIRTING FOR A GOOD TIME. WITH YOU… HE DOESN’T FLIRT WITH YOU. IT’S MORE LIKE HE’S… PROPOSING.”

“I- propose?!”

Papyrus pretends he didn’t hear you. “IF YOU AREN’T AFRAID OF THE ICKY REAL SANS STUFF… He Might Even Get Mushy With You… GO FOR IT. I THINK YOU TWO WOULD BE A SICKENINGLY SWEET COUPLE, ENOUGH TO ROT MY BONES, BLARGH. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE WEDDING, TELL ME, I’VE ALREADY GOT A WHOLE ALBUM OF IDEAS FOR IT.”

You can’t help but laugh. You couldn’t tell if Papyrus is disgusted or delighted by you and Sans becoming an item- could be both. He’s entirely certain that you were made for each other and against your earlier doubts, you could feel your confidence returning.

“LOOK AT THAT,” Papyrus points aggressively towards Sans. “YOU’RE EVEN MAKING HIM WAIT, I- EVERYONE WAITS ON SANS, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. ARE YOU STILL WORRIED HE MIGHT NOT LIKE YOU WHEN HE’S EARLY FOR YOU?”

You giggle nervously. “I guess… it is hard to believe that.”

“RIGHT!”

“I shouldn’t keep him waiting, should I?”

Papyrus’ face lights up as you turn towards the fireman’s pub, a renewed fire burning in your eyes. You almost take a step forward when you stop in your tracks.

“Wait a… Papyrus, why are you here?”

“NYEH HEH…” Papyrus snickers, “SANS WENT IN A HURRY EARLIER. TOLD ME YOU INVITED HIM TO MEET UP. SMILING FROM NON EXISTENT EAR TO NONEXISTENT EAR! HE DESCRIBED THAT YOU GAVE HIM A SUDDEN INVITE FOR THE VERY NEAR FUTURE, AND I CONCLUDED THAT YOU MUST BE TRYING TO CONFESS, SO HERE I AM.”

You stare at him.

“I’M HERE TO WATCH.”

This. Was the worst thing ever.

“HEY, I ALREADY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, SO YOU NEEDN’T WORRY ABOUT MY REACTION, NYEHEHEH! YOU’LL BE TOO FOCUSED ON SANS TO SEE ME PEEKING IN ANYWAY. YOU’RE GOING TO DO GREAT.”

He gives you an affectionate (albeit rough) pat on the shoulders. “BREAK A LEG, FUTURE IN-LAW.”

He winks.

You felt like you wanted to combust right there. Your only response was a “Hhhhhh,” as you sped-walked towards Grillby’s, eyeing the skeleton at the bar.

You’re doing this. And it’s going to go WELL!

[blackbullet99]

Zutara-stans like these need to stop talking about issues they don’t care about.

I’m not gonna invalidate some of the legitimate issues with Bryke’s work, but this is ridiculously hypocritical coming for a scumbag like longing-for-rain.

Call this racist all you want, I ain’t gonna touch this because I’m not Indian. But like the points made about The Fire Nation being colonizers is still a legit point, and this played-for-laughs hallucination has nothing to do with that.

Also, unsurprisingly this person is huge Zuko d!ck-rider. Who says weird stuff like this.

And weirder stuff like this.

Y’all act like Bryke are Hitler, but y’all praise Zuko (someone they wrote no less) and act like he was always a perfect Gary-Stu who could do no wrong to the point where you can’t even take any criticism towards the nation he’s from despite Zuko himself calling his nations colonization of other tribes. And y’all villainize Aang to no end, with objectively wrong statements that make no sense. Let’s be real, the only reason you’re upset that Aang isn’t celibate is because he gets in the way of your precious fan-pairing, although really he doesn’t even get in the way of anything, seeing as it a FAN-pairing your pissy about.

Also this scumbag has no right to whine about issues like racism in this show, seeing that they think writing r@pe-fics about their favorite characters is revolutionary high art.

Not to mention arguing with and invalidating an ACTUAL indigenous person for calling out a post about “Zutara giving Zuko better in-laws, because it completely glosses over the fact that Katara would also have people like Ozai as an in-law and multiple other in-laws who colonized her tribe and ordered the death of her mom.

F*ck you longing-for-rain. You don’t care about racism, you don’t care about colonization, you don’t care about Katara, you don’t care about actual indigenous people or their feelings, you don’t even care about the show you claim to love. You only care about projecting yourself onto Katara so you can f*ck Zuko and then hurls childish insults anyone who so much as criticizes you for your weird-@$$ takes. You’re a loser and you need to seriously go outside a rethink your life, girl.

[winniethewife]

I'll be summer sun for you forever (Basil Stitt x Reader)

Warnings: Suicidal ideation

Words:786

A/N: Fluffy Basil? Definity not what anyone was expecting....

Basil is pretty sure this is a dumb idea, so far he’s called his now ex-girlfriend, and his parents, neither have responded, he plugs the phone back into the wall of his ruined apartment to make one last desperate call. His childhood Friend, the girl next door who moved across the country after high school, he’s dials the number, and it only rings once before she picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Uh I don’t know if this is a goo-”

“Basil! Oh my god I haven’t heard your voice in forever! How are you?”

“Uh, well not great, there’s some… really weird stuff going on with me.”

“Weird like the time you got your head stuck in the railing or weird like the time that guy on the history channel had you actually convinced Aliens existed?” She asks with a slight laugh.  He kinda laughed back.

“Uh…weirder than both of those.”

“Well Shit Baz…Didn’t think that was possible.” He hears her set something down, It was clear he had her undivided attention now.

“Well yeah. Um…well you remember my girlfriend? I told you about her right”

“Mhm, we actually met briefly the last time I was in town. She didn’t seem to like me much.”

“Well apparently she’s been cheating on me for like a year and some change…” he was deflecting the real problem here, the lightning, the scar, the mental breakdown. Probably good to start on the easy part right?

“That bitch! I’m so sorry Basil, that’s just not right, you’re the best guy I know, you worshiped the ground she walked on. Why the fuck would she do that?”

“I don’t know, but that’s just the beginning of my bad luck…” something about his tone of voice triggered the “Mom friend” in her

“Okay let me sit down and you’re gonna tell me everything…” he could hear her footsteps on the floor in over the phone and it’s all he can do to not start crying again.

“You’re not going to believe me when I tell you.” He says

“I don’t care, you’re going to tell me anyway.” She was always good at getting him to do what she wanted. From playing the board game she wanted to as kids to asking out the girl he liked to prom, she had a way of convincing him that he just couldn’t resist. So he gave up fighting her years ago. So he breaks down and tells her… Everything.

“All this time I didn't know you were breakin' down…” She whispers into the phone reviver. “I-I don’t know, I’m thinking of just…Ending it all. It’s really bad…I look like a monster, and I feel like I’m going more insane every day…”

“Basil…I'd fall to pieces on the floor if you weren't around…” He can hear the tears in her voice. “I’m coming to see you, I’ll help you get it all figured out.”

“No. Please don’t I don’t want to be seen like this, I just want it to be over okay?”

“I don’t care how bad it is or what you look like Basil. I’m getting on the next plane to New York. I refuse to lose my best friend.” That tone of voice the one he knows he can’t argue.

“Okay…” He’s kinda glad she’s coming. But doesn’t know how to face it.

~

By the next day she’s standing in his apartment helping him clean stuff up. She had arrived on the red eye, early in the morning. She hadn’t shied away from the Scarring on his face or the how his eye had gone white. She didn’t care. She had just held him in her lap as he had cried. She had run her fingers through his hair and hummed sweet melodies.

“Why are you helping me?” He asked

“You’re my best friend Baz.”

“I haven’t been a good friend, I haven’t called in a year why on earth…”

“It doesn’t matter Basil, You’re still my friend. And I love you even at your darkest.” She tried to smile at him but he can’t look at her

“I don’t believe that.” He grumbles. She puts aside the broom she was using and carefully took his face in her hands looking him directly in the face, before softly kissing him, he’s shocked but he kisses her back, his hands, shaking, end up on her waist. Every move she makes done with determination but with a gentle quality that Basil hadn’t felt from anyone in a very long time. As they break the kiss more tears falling from his face. She wipes the tears away and softly tells him the one thing he needed to hear more than anything.

“Believe in one thing, I won't go away”'

__

TS Series Masterlist

Basil Series masterlist

Next chapter

[softestqueeen]

don't you forget about me, sherlock part1

pairing: sherlock holmes x fem!reader

summary: When Janine forces Sherlock to choose between being in a relationship with her and living with you, he has to make a tough decision. How will your feelings for each other be affected by it?

warnings: angst, canon? I don’t know her

wordcount: 2141 words

a/n: Soo, I actually should be working on a request, but I’m kinda stuck with the story, so I decided to write something else in the meantime. I also know that this is lowkey a bit shitty, but I had a fun time writing it, so et voila. This is not a request or anything, but something that recently came to my mind. This will have two parts! Yes, I am a sucker for hurt/comfort and I hope you are too! Enjoy <3

“Either she moves out or I’ll leave,” Sherlocks eyebrows raised at his girlfriend Janine’s words “I think it’s weird that you still live with a female roommate if you have me. Also, I think she’s kinda in love with you, so that makes it even weirder. Have you ever noticed the way she looks at you? It makes me sick!”

Sherlock had indeed not noticed the looks you were apparently giving him. If you did, he was sure he would have noticed. He has had feelings for you ever since you got to know each other better, which was shortly after you moved into the spare bedroom of his flat. Mrs Hudson had basically begged him to give you a chance, as you have known each other for quite some time, but he couldn’t recall where you knew each other from.

He made a mental note to ask you soon, so he could hear you scold him for forgetting, before still enthusiastically telling him the story again.

But there was a way more important matter at hand. What was it again? Oh, yeah, Janine wanted him to throw you out. Of course she worded it a bit differently, but that was quintessentially what she was asking of him. Janine or you?

Now, if this was life or death situation, the answer would be easy. Without thinking he would chose you. He was only in a relationship with Janine, because she was the assistant of Augustus Magnussen, whom he wanted to get to for a while now. At Johns wedding Janine got introduced to him and Sherlock took the opportunity to take get closer to Magnussen. And his plan was definitely moving forward. Slower than he would have liked, but still.

Now though, things were taking on another dimension. He was supposed to throw out his best friend, his partner in crime and his secret love. You.

Sherlock realised that he had been quiet for way too long, thinking about you. “You want me to do what? To just throw her out because of your growing insecurity about our romantic relationship? Don’t you think that is a bit… silly?” his baritone voice was collected, though his feeling were anything but.

“No, I don’t think it’s silly and I’m not insecure about our relationship, Sherly. I just think that she may not be the best influence on us. She’s always there, I can never have you just for me.”

Sherlock was sitting in his chair and until now Janine had been seated opposite from him in your chair. But during her talking she got up and planted herself on Sherlocks lap, his hand wandering from below his chin to her thigh.

He was now pressing it reassuringly as he answered. “You know you’re the only one I want, darling.” Lie “Even though I don’t see her as a threat to you, I will talk to her about it. But you know, she’s my best friend and I deeply care for her. If she agrees to move out, she can stay until she has found a new flat. Deal?” The detectives voice left no room for discussion, no matter how soft it was.

Janine hummed before placing a kiss to his lips. Before she could deepen it though, she could hear you coming down the stairs from your room. She pulled away and got up, before taking her things to leave. “Don’t let it wait too long, Sherly. I’ll leave you to it now. Bye Bye!” She threw him one last kiss before leaving the room.

Not a second after that, you entered the room. He knew he had to talk about it, but breaking your heart by making you leave was definitely not what he wanted. Sherlock thought for a second it he should just tell you the truth. Tell you that he’s just using her and definitely not in love with you. Tell you that you’re the only one he wants and that you can stay here in this flat as long as you want and if he was bothering you in any way it would be him that was leaving – no discussion. Tell her that every time you enter the room, you take his breath away in a way Janine could never even attempt to.

But he knew, that that would not work. The less people knew about his secret, the better and at this  point only he knew of his plan. He was also convinced that if you move out, he will convince you to come back to him once he ended things with Janine and explained everything to you. You would understand, he was sure of it. Easier said than done.

“Hey Sherlock, where’s Janine?” you greeted him with your signature smile that was usually reserved just for him.

“She just went out probably to work or something,” he shook his head before continuing ,”but it’s good to see you, I need to talk with you about something.”

Something about the detectives words made you nervous. Usually, he never warned you before bombarding you with a flood of words that oftentimes didn’t make as much sense to you as they did to him. So him actually telling you that he needs to talk to you couldn’t be any good.

“Yeah, of course. Are you alright? You know you can talk to me about everything,” you told him while trying to keep your voice as worry-free as possible.

“Actually, I’m in a bit of a frenzy right now. I would consider my relationship with Janine to be going pretty well, especially for my standards and experiences with relationships of any nature, not just romantic. And I thought she felt the same until she told me something I still can’t really comprehend or understand,” his brows furrowed and you slowly took a seat in your usual chair, which was facing Sherlock ,”She told me that she didn’t like me living with you anymore. Janine considered it quote ‘weird’ that I have pretty female roommate, when I already have a girlfriend. But here comes my struggle, she gave me an ultimatum: Either, I ask you to move out or she will leave me. I hope you can understand that I have to ask you to move out. You can of course stay as long as you need until you’ve found a new place. As I said, things have been going rather well between the two of us and I don’t want anything to disrupt this newfound peace.

“Please keep in mind that you are still my best friend and that I deeply care about you. But I beg you to understand that I don’t really have a choice. I’m sorry, I really am.”

With every word your face fell more. But you could also fee anger burning under your skin, making your blood boil. Who does Janine think she is? Who does she think she is that she could force Sherlock – your best friend – to throw you out?

Of course you could understand Sherlock. As much as it pained you. You knew he had no choice and you wanted him to be happy, no matter how much you wished that you were the one making him this happy.

“Oh Sherlock, It’s alright. Well, I mean it’s not but I can see why you don’t have that much of a choice if she practically forces you… Did she say anything about why exactly she thinks that it’s weird that we live together?” with ever word it was harder for you to hide your feelings. If you could, you would never leave 221B, especially when someone like Janine practically demanded it from you. “I mean, she always was kinda weird with me, but I just thought we got off on the wrong foot or something, but it seems that she really has a problem with me.”

Sherlock immediately tried to reassure you “No, no, she never said anything bad about you. Just that it bothered her. And I also don’t think she dislikes you, you just don’t know each other that well.”

He could sense that you still didn’t fully trust the situation and it was breaking his heart that he could practically see you falling apart in front of him. You were slumping more and more in your chair, slowly resigning to the fact that you would have to move.

“Okay Sherlock, I’ll move out. But only if you promise, that Janine will not come between our friendship. We will still see each other on cases of course, but I also want us to do stuff together, even if it’s just walking around the block or me listening to you playing the violin. Don’t you forget about me! Deal?”

“Deal,” it was definitely not hard to accept, as he wanted to still stay in contact, even if he had to spend a lot of time with Janine, acting as if he actually liked her.

After coming to terms with everything that happened in the last 10 minutes, you excused yourself. You went downstairs to the one person who knew exactly what to do in any situation.

You only had to know once before Mrs. Hudson’s door opened, to reveal the old lady in an apron that was tied around her waist. “Hey, do you have a moment to talk?” you asked her.

“Of course, darling. I have always time for you. Come on in,” she said before stepping aside to let you in. After offering you some biscuits you both sat down at her kitchen table.

You gave her a full run down of what has happened before asking her “What am I supposed to do now? I don’t even want to move out and I have a feeling that he doesn’t want me to either.”

“Oh dear, how can this genius of a man be this stupid? Well, there’s not much we can do, is there? I’ll talk to Sherlock about this, but I’ll also go call up some of my old girlfriends and ask if anyone has a cheap place to stay for you. But don’t worry dear, my door will always be open for you, no matter if you live here or not,” her words were only partially calming you down.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” and with you words it was understood that this conversation would be put on hold for now.

Your conversation now moved to other things and before too long Sherlock was knocking on he door. “There you are. Geoffrey just called, he needs us at a crime scene,” you wondered if he would ever get Lestrade’s name right. Probably not.

“His name is Greg, Sherlock. You should know that by now. But I’ll be there in a sec, I just have to get my coat and bag,” you say before making your way upstairs again.

Sherlock was about to turn around, when Mrs Hudson called him back. “Where do you think you’re going, young man? Come in for a moment, I have to talk about something very important with you.”

Once the door behind Sherlock, the elderly woman started talking “What were you thinking, Sherlock? Throwing that poor girl out of my house without discussing this with me first? And then for that girl, that you’ve known for what, 5 months? I just don’t think that this is a wise decision. I’m not blind I can see the way you look at each other when you think the other isn’t watching. Oh Sherlock, I don’t want you to do things you’ll regret,” Sherlock may miss a lot of social clues but he could definitely tell that Mrs Hudson was not happy with this at all.

“I know it might seem sudden, but I think this is the right step,” he hated lying to her, she has been almost like a mother for him these last few years that he has been living here.

“Just think about what I’ve said Sherlock,” at that he looked at the floor before leaving the flat, almost bumping into you.

“You’re done? Let’s go.”

~*~*~*~

That happened now almost a month ago and you could practically cut the tension between you and Sherlock. Since that day, nothing has been the same.

You had now found a flat that you could afford and that wasn’t too far, you still wanted to be close to work.

Every time you talked to Sherlock, it was trained, he gave you short answers. No long rambles anymore, only when you were on a case. No more listening to his violin when you can’t fall asleep. No dinners are spent laughing anymore, as you now eat alone in your room, not being able to bear Janine and Sherlock being all smiley and couply with each other.

Almost one month of wishing you had your best friend back.

a/n: i hope you liked this, if so please leave some notes, likes, reblogs and comments! feedback is very appreciated!

please also consider supporting my ao3: @ softestqueen

taglist: @silvermagnolias @milywatermelon @BigBananaa

requests open!

[anonymous-dentist]

One of the weirder things to come out of the dsmp I think is like. An over-reliance on fanon? Not that that’s a bad thing, because that’s about all dsmp fans had after summer 2021, but it’s weird.

Because you’ll have these tumblr polls going around and it’ll be like “Benchtrio versus Cumduo” and the propaganda for Benchtrio is that people really like the fics written about them. Same goes for any poll involving c!Tommy or the rest of SBI.

Even when it’s supposed to be a poll explicitly about canon, you’ll see the propaganda be like “I love reading fics about them they live in my head rent free” despite the characters never really interacting beyond fanfiction or headcanons, and they’ll win the round because they’re popular and they have a lot of fics written about them

Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. Sometimes fanon is all you have, and that’s fine, it’s how things have worked for all of human history

What really confuses me though is the erasure of canon dynamics in favor of feel-good fanon. Take Benchtrio as an example: c!Tubbo and c!Ranboo were married, and c!Tommy felt left out and lowkey resented them for it. But in fics you see them all living and sleeping together as best friends and roommates/traumatized orphans. Or c!SBI: c!Phil and c!Techno literally nuked L’Manberg, which was c!Tommy and c!Wilbur’s pride and joy, and Phil killed Wilbur, and Phil would barely even look at Tommy in-lore, and Wilbur and Techno barely interacted outside of Pogtopia and even then it was. Not healthy. But then you look at their fics and they’re a nuclear family who have no problems with each other

It’s just a little weird to me when people take these fanon ideas and get pissy when people don’t take them as canon. I mean, if you go around saying c!SBI wasn’t a happy little nuclear family you’re liable to get death threats and insults and everything.

Are these fans the only ones like this? Absolutely not. There are people who send death threats over saying c!tntduo never canonically happened. There are c!Dream or c!Techno stans who get ANGRY if you say that they weren’t poor misunderstood angry babies because, in fanon, that’s what they are usually seen as. Fanon romantic c!Beeduoers versus fanon platonic c!Beeduoers is still an active war zone, and even trying to get close to c!DnF is a death wish

I’m a fanfiction writer, I know exactly how awesome fanon is, and I know just how important it is. It’s what’s left after the end of it all, and it’s beautiful in its complexity. But like. Sometimes people go weirdly overboard to the point of erasing actual canon and harassing people when they talk about actual canon dynamics or relationships.

[l5byrinth]

Right where you left me (11)

pairing: neteyam te suli tsyeyk’itan x omatikaya!reader ( not really ) & hinyitx (an oc) x omatikaya!reader

summary: in which he was now right where you left him

kind if requested!!

warnings: angst, lmk if i should add more

a/n: should i make a part three??

part one part two

Neteyam hated his own guts. Ever since that day, he hadn’t been himself. His life didn’t mean anything if you weren’t in it.

He didn’t want for any of this to happen, but he knew it was for the best.

The assignment his father had given him was dangerous and terrifying. There was a big chance he wouldn’t even make it out alive. He didn’t want you to live the rest of your life in sorrow and grief if he didn’t survive.

The thought of losing his life didn’t terrify him as much, as the thought of losing you. But he regretted ending things with you.

You were happily talking to your friend and suddenly it hit him. He needed to tell you, needed to get it over with. But he didn’t realise it would take your spark away.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, wanting to savour this moment for as long as he could. He planted a kiss on your cheek, which went completely unnoticed by you. He knew it was the last time he ever had the chance to do this.

After his rant to you, he didn’t want to hear you speak. He knew that if he would stay there longer and hear your voice, he would take back everything he said. So with that thought he just left you, just like that.

After that unfortunate day he noticed how much you were struggling. All he wanted to do was go back to you, pepper you with kisses, whisper sweet nothings and never let you go. But he couldn’t, even if he wanted to so badly.

Weeks had past and he watched as you slowly healed. Whenever you were with your friends, you would actually participate in a conversation with a joyful smile. And you laughed again, your real genuine laugh.

He noticed that, finally, you were letting go.

And you were, you were actually letting go. But something in your life was still missing. There was this void that wouldn’t and couldn’t be filled by anyone other than the one who had broken your heart.

You were walking towards the gathering area in front of the home tree. It wasn’t that busy, everyone was mostly doing something more important at this time of day.

Your friends had told you to come to the usual spot you guys hung out at, wanting to catch up after you had been sick in your tent for a few days.

When you arrived, you greeted your friends with a smile on your face. They returned your smile, a mischievous glint in every single one of their eyes. You were confused why they were being weirder than usual, your confusion definitely visible on your face as you looked around the group.

That’s when you saw an unfamiliar face.

The boy watched you with a smile as you took him in. “Hi,” You greeted, ignoring the teasing glances your way, “I’m y/n.”

“I’m Hinyitx.” He said, his eyes trying to find something in your eyes and you couldn’t quite figure out what. You nodded awkwardly, hearing your friends snicker at the weird interaction.

“You can sit next to Hinyitx, you know. He doesn’t bite.” Your friend teased with a chuckle when you didn’t sit down at the only free spot. The spot that was next to Hinyitx.

You sent a glare their way in response, but sat down next to Hinyitx anyway.

Your friends got to talk, all of them, except for you and Hinyitx. You knew that this was your friends doing. Ever since the breakup they tried to get you together with a lot of na’vi. And all of them you rejected, not really in need for a relationship. But most specifically because they just weren’t him.

“So, your friends told me a lot about you.” Hinyitx spoke, breaking the silence hanging between the two of you. “I bet they did.” You chuckled, glancing at every single of their ‘innocent’ faces. It was silent once more, the only sound being the conversations of your friends.

“I heard about your love for archery.” He said, trying to at least get a conversation going between the two of you. Your ears rose at his comment and you turned your head to look at him. With a bright smile on your face, you started talking.

That one comment made a conversation flow between you. And for the first time, for a very very long time, the void felt filled.

For the first time in a very long time you were fully yourself again.

Your friendship with Hinyitx grew stronger over time. The two of you met up almost every day, to go into the forest, fly together or share stories. In a short period of time, the two of you were basically attached to the hip.

And everyone saw it. Especially Neteyam.

He watched as Hinyitx whispered in your ear and you laughed in response, a laugh you once only reserved for him. He watched as you flew with Hinyitx, teased him, looked at him. It made him wish he was gone already.

He was happy for you, but something in him wanted that the reason you were happy wasn’t Hinyitx. But him.

The warrior would think about everything you guys have been through and done together all day long. The way you used to look at him was engraved in his brain. And you never left his thoughts. Ever.

Whenever Neteyam had duties to do, every single thought on his mind was about you. There wasn’t a day where you weren’t his only thought. And his father noticed this change of demeanour.

He watched his son being more reserved than usual. He thought it was because of the upcoming assignment and tried his best to get Neteyam’s mind off of things. He gave him duties Neteyam usually wasn’t in charge of, so he will be more focused on that.

Today Jake had told him to watch Tuk as him and Neytiri went to have some alone time. So he did, he was seated, watching Tuk play with the other children. They were chasing each other, laughing while doing so.

That’s when you appeared out of the blue. Neteyam’s ears twitched at the sight of you, but his excitement was long gone when Hinyitx was walking beside you with a grin on his face as you laughed. You playfully hit Hinyitx in the chest as he put up his arms in surrender.

Suddenly the boy leaned in closer, nothing but a few inches between you. He whispered something lowly, your cheeks turning slightly pink at what he said.

Neteyam watched the whole scene occur with balled up fists. Sure, he was the one who ended things, but seeing you happy with someone else triggered something in him. And the fact he was so insanely close to you didn’t help either.

Hinyitx took ahold of your hand and Neteyam desperately wished you would let go of his hand. He wished you wouldn’t go with him. Your eyes flickered around when Hinyitx held your hand and your eyes met Neteyam’s.

Neteyam’s gaze softened and he was sure his eyes never ever wanted to leave yours. Tears were forming in your eyes, the sight of your former lover too much for you even after all this time. You looked away quickly, focusing on Hinyitx once again. Neteyam’s heart sunk at the sight of you, but his gaze never left the two of you.

You blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears at bay. The na’vi in front of you didn’t seem to notice, which you were extremely grateful for.

And after a few teasing comments, you gave in to whatever Hinyitx was saying, and took off with a giggle. Your hand never letting go of his.

Neteyam felt his heart clench in pain, an incredible intense pain. He regretted accepting the assignment - which began in a few days. He regretted making decisions he had made. And he mostly regretted that he ended things with you.

You were making your future, while he is regretting and completely stuck in the past.

He is right where you left him.

🏷️ - @bewbz2110 @saltedcoffeescotch @yeosxxx @liluvtojineteyam @yaya6765 @afro-hispwriter @immortalbloodhuntress @rainqissedd @lollife1617 @han-sirentell @ddmybeloved @lexthemess21 @jackiehollanderr

[lunar-years]

Roy’s been so obsessed with Jamie the whole time, actually. Keeley ‘s a little bit weird about him too.

- While flirting with Keeley in the press room, trying to get her to give him a second chance “Because I like you more than I hate him”

- Keeley being turned on by Jamie offering an inkling of vulnerability after showing up at her door

- “Every time I wanna kiss my girlfriend, I can’t stop thinking about Jamie fucking Tartt”

- In the middle of making out with Keeley, literally on top of her after he’s just walked in on her masturbating, “What did you tell the prince prick of all pricks about going back to Richmond?”

- Jamie thinking Roy and Keeley started dating just to make him jealous which. Well. Keeley technically had sex with Jamie to get back at Roy in Season 1

I’m probably missing some moments but They Are Just So Weird About Each Other. And in retrospect, the love triangle angle could’ve been done soooo much better. I hate that Jamie’s apology for the video leak is diminished when he tells Roy about it in the bar, but I do understand it shows their character regression and serves a greater purpose for Roy’s arc. And maybe it’s an unpopular opinion, but it would’ve been more interesting if Keeley and Jamie had sex after he apologized in S3 (although the hug was really sweet).

idk why but the way you worded it "Keeley's a little bit weird about him too" actually made me laugh out loud lmao. Thank you for that anon. I think Keeley ALSO being unhinged about Jamie is something that is underrated!

I think my favorite is the scene where Keeley masturbates to Roy's retirement presser because the whole thing is SO 'Jamie is the third person in the room right now even though he is not actually here in the room.' Like. Let's compile the Evidence in that scene alone:

Keeley's vulnerability kink is activated so hard by Jamie having traced her to her coffee shop to seek her advice specifically that she immediately goes home to have a wank about it. Except she can't wank to Jamie can she? That would be bad because she's In a Committed Relationship. So she pulls out her old reliable Roy vulnerability video to wank to that instead. (Already it's pretty crazy.)

But then Roy comes home and Keeley tells him how hot she finds him when he's vulnerable, suggests again he take a chance on the pundit job and then uses JAMIE AS THE COMPARISON. literally fully well knowing how Roy can Get about Jamie Tartt, she's on about 'Jamie is brave.' 'At least Jamie is trying to get better.' 'YOU'RE JUST LIKE JAMIE.' i mean, GIRL?? insane. this is all after being walked in on mid-wank mind you.

In midst of all that, let's queue up another super sexy roykeeley kiss. at this point the conversation has MOVED ON. only for roy to BRING JAMIE UP AGAIN. 'what did you tell the prince prick of all pricks?' WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW ROY. whyyy are you still thinking about him. unbidden. as you are right in the midst of foreplay with your girlfriend.

Insanity on all sides of the triangle ❤️

But all of your examples are spot on and I fully think the weirdness about one another started even before any of that and got FAR WEIRDER from s3 and beyond. For instance, Keeley in the season one bar scene openly getting turned on by Roy with Jamie right there... one could argue that she was already leaning towards trading in Jamie for a nicer model but frankly. I think girl was angling for a threesome even then. And good for her!

Keeley and Jamie sleeping together after he came to apologize would've been a MESS. I would love to read a fic of that!

Part of what is so fun to me about the three of them canonically ending the series single is that the possibilities and configurations for smooshing them all together remain endless. maybe they all three figured it out at the same time and got together in a very romantic and cute and non-angsty way. BUT. if you want to be messy. roykeeley or jamiekeeley or royjamie can get together first, and whichever one is left out can just absolutely without a doubt be Going Through It. Meanwhile things aren't going fully well for the couple, and it's far from bad but they still can't get it RIGHT because it still feels like something (hint: someone) is missing. The someone who is currently off to the side thinking they aren't good enough aren't lovable aren't ever going to be okay again but at least their favorite two people are happy :( without them :( :( glorious

[adhd-merlin]

merlin S1 rewatch: episode 10 ⚔

how could I not love the tale of the weird misfit who returns home one day, bringing with him an even weirder assortment of friends, to teach everyone how to fight back against the oppressors who have been stealing their resources?

but enough about a bug’s life. let's talk about the episode.

• I see Hunith throwing herself at a bandit and I immediately go “oh that’s where he gets it from”. I love you Hunith, you mad gal <3

• Hunith’s audience with the king is interesting – not just because she’s pleading with the man who would kill her son without a second thought if he knew about his magic, and she goes so far as to call him “a good king” and “a caring man” while doing so, but also because Uther seems genuinely sympathetic, even if unwilling to intervene. I think that says something about Uther – I think in the eyes of the people who don’t care much about sorcerers and their ilk, Uther is a decent, perhaps even a good, king. Certainly not the tyrant that Merlin and Morgana consider him to be (justifiably so).

• “I wish that Camelot was able to help people regardless of how far away they lived”, Arthur says, almost as if there were a prophecy about a united Albion under his reign

• “I want to make him pay for what he did to you” -> when Merlin sees Kanen is ON SIGHT. I love protective Merlin.

• I love this so much. “Most powerful sorcerer on Earth” well to his mama he’s just a little boy. have you considered that

• Merlin almost decapitating Arthur lol. It’s a good thing Arthur has good reflexes or this would’ve have been a much shorter story

• YAY! A NEW KILL

• When Arthur ruins Merlin and Will’s little reunion and Will is immediately unimpressed

• “Am I the only one wondering who the hell this is?” > Will really interrupted Arthur’s speech to loudly ask “excuse you who the fuck are you??” and I love him for it

• The fact that Merlin just straight up slept on the floor. Like I get it, they are poor, but you’re telling me he had nothing all the years he lived there? not even a straw mattress, nothing?? because that sounds kind of weird. I mean alright, I’ll accept it, but I think it’s weird. I think if you had to sleep on the ground every night for years you’d try to make yourself a bit comfortable even if you never “knew any different”

• Anyway, I guess that explains why Merlin was reluctant to part with his bed when Alice moved in with him and Gaius. “I’m not going back to sleeping on the floor thank you! I love beds now”

• MERLIN: “Life’s simple out here (...)” / ARTHUR: “Sounds… nice” / MERLIN: “You’d hate it” -> I like that Arthur was trying really hard not to say anything rude about Merlin’s old life, and that Merlin was like “it’s alright you can say it sucks”, because really he wasn’t cut out for that kind of life either. It’s also funny that Arthur later tells Gwen he fantasies about being a farmer, like SIR BE REAL. You'd hate it.

• Arthur pretending to eat Hunith’s food. Making fake noises like a toddler. Spoiled brat behaviour

• WILL: Why did you leave? / MERLIN: It wasn't what I wanted. My mother was worried. When she found out you knew, she was so angry. → it sounds like Will actually didn’t know about Merlin’s secret for very long before Merlin had to leave. And the fact that Will has to ask Merlin why he left implies Merlin did it without even a goodbye or a made-up excuse. Merlin’s departure being apparently so rushed because Hunith feared for his safety means that the attitude towards magic in Ealdor isn't actually very different from Camelot’s, despite it not being officially outlawed.

• Arthur is a good leader!! and in this episode he shows it in big ways, like in his “Battle of St. Crispin speech” moment, but also in more subtle ways, like when he notices during training that Matthew is a hopeless fighter, and instead of dismissing him he takes him aside and goes “Matthew my friend I have a special task for you :)”, as a way of keeping him away from the fight while still making him feel useful, and without hurting his pride. (Sadly, this backfires later.) I know the fandom likes to joke about Arthur being a dumbass but he can be very perceptive (at times). And he is good at strategic thinking.

• No comment. Just Gwen and Morgana sharing blankets. They are very good pals.

• Merlin telling Arthur: “We're going to make Kanen rue the day he ever came to this village” hits different when I remember he said he wanted to make Kanen pay for striking his mother

• “In this circle, we're all equals” → a circle is very much like a round table in this way

• I love moments like Arthur’s Rousing Speech™ – because they show why he is the one destined to unite Albion. He’s capable of inspiring people and gaining the support of those who initially disliked him (Merlin, Gwaine, Will himself, to name a few), because he is noble of heart, and brave, and caring, etc. And yeah, he’s also a brat at times, but to be fair to him he’s 21. And he has a shit father.

• “Food is scarce for these people, you shouldn't turn your nose up at it!” → Gwen is no shrinking violet okay!! She will lecture the prince, if the prince is being a brat. I’m thinking about Arthur telling Agravaine “I don't want a queen who spends her days floating around the castle agreeing with my every word” in ep 4x09. He loves Gwen because she’s not afraid of calling him out! (same goes for Merlin)

• GWEN: “I have faith in you. I mean. We all do” / ARTHUR:

• Arthur helping Merlin with his armour is a very sweet moment. I can’t believe Merlin was about to tell Arthur he had magic here. HE LITERALLY WAS ABOUT TO TELL HIM I'LL NEVER BE OVER IT

• Battle. Battle. Another kill for baby Merlin (!).

• IT FUCKEN WIMDY

• I’m not entirely sure what the windstorm did to be honest, it didn’t seem to kill anyone it just… scared the bandits away? Anyway, that doesn’t matter. Willing suspension of disbelief and all that.

• Arthur’s face when he marched up to Merlin and Will like “THAT WAS MAGIC WHO DID THAT?? IT WAS ONE OF YOU TWO”. This man is NOT ready for the truth (and yet Merlin was prepared to confess AGAIN. He was literally about to do it I HATE THIS SHOW)

• (sigh) well how convenient

• LISTEN I know Will was pretty much dead anyway but I can’t get over how NOBODY tried to do anything for him like?? They just put him on a table? And stared at him? Not even trying to do anything or. I don’t know, offer a word of comfort. If I were Will I’d be offended to be honest.

• Will’s last words being “Merlin, I’m scared.” EVIL

Merlin: *watching his best friend’s body burn on the pyre* Arthur: well when were you going to tell me he was a sorcerer

• Hunith: POWERFUL WARLOCK? NO HE IS BABY

• "When the time is right, the truth will be known. Until then, you must keep your talents hidden. It's better for everyone.” → kind of funny how Hunith went from "you should tell Arthur, he'll understand, he cares about you :)" to "never mind, BACK IN THE CLOSET!!" And by funny I mean tragic.

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[tgmsunmontue]

Another Time (Chapter 14/14)

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN

Summary: Jake wakes up in Rooster's body ~30 hours post-Mission and they have to deal with it. They're adults. Apparently.

(Posting on Tumblr, chapter a day until it's complete, after it's complete I will post it on AO3 once a day until it's completed there as well).

Odd chapter = Jake POV, Even chapter = Bradley POV

FOURTEEN

                He gets through the actual debrief in a haze, answers questions and Admiral Bates seems to take it in stride that Bradley isn’t in the right body. Maybe weirder things have fucking happened. He’d like to hear about them one day. Maverick does a lot of talking, translating for Ice. Jake corrects Mav a couple of times which had made Ice’s lip twitch in what Bradley knew was amusement. But Ice is distant, despite the hugs Bradley had felt like there were conversations that needed to happen. Apologies, as hard as they will be. And Jake uses ASL fluently, why did he never know that?

                It takes a few hours for everyone to finish, and he feels emotionally drained, wrung dry. He’s reprimanded and temporarily grounded, pending review and psych evaluation which he knows they’ll all have to get. Payback and Fanboy have been shooting him weird looks and he gets it, he’s definitely not maintaining the illusion that he’s actually Jake, so they’ll have to have that conversation as well even if this miraculously fixes itself overnight and fuck he just wishes it would but he’s not holding out hope. They have four weeks of confirmed leave, which won’t count for anything unless he’s back in his own body to enjoy it. Although he’ll be on limited duties regardless with his injury.

                Even with him in Jake’s body Phoenix reads him like a fucking book, insists on driving both him and Jake back home, Bob following in her little rental car. Javy is waiting when they pull up and he slaps Bradley on the shoulder before helping Jake out of the back of the Bronco. Bradley is suddenly immensely grateful for all of them. Even when Payback and Fanboy turn up, heckling Rooster about having off-base digs he lets himself feel… less alone. Jake is giving them the finger, telling them he hopes they aren’t fucking staying because he needs to rest. Bradley goes about changing on auto-pilot; has to stop and think about it when his jeans are too tight and Jake’s got thicker thigh muscles than him. He knew that. Well. He hadn’t, but he’d noticed. He changes into Jake’s jeans, leaves his own tank and unbuttoned shirt on top.

                “Hey man, can I have a quick word?” Javy asks, and he’s looking nervous and Bradley can’t figure out why; can’t help immediately thinking of a dozen things that could go wrong that Coyote would need to talk to him about.

                “Is Jake okay? Wait. Are you okay? Uh, I was going to, make something? For dinner?”

                “No dude. Jake might not be able to cook worth a damn, but he can order door dash like a pro. He’s already sorting something for you two. You’re dead on your feet. You need to rest as well.”

                “Uh. Thanks?”

                “Yeah, you look… not great. Also I need to tell you something.” His stomach drops. “I kind of fucked up.”

                Bradley feels on the verge of tears, wonders what the hell more can happen right now.

                “Shit. Sorry. I’m fucking this up. It’s nothing major. I was just talking to Jake’s niece, she rang me because Jake wasn’t answering, and I mentioned the busted ankle he was having checked out, and now she’s coming to visit. Tomorrow.”

                “Oh…” Of all the potential things he’d imagined this hadn’t even made it into the room. “Can’t he just call her and tell her he’s okay?”

                “Well, you can, but if Jake tried she’d know for sure something worse had happened. You two sound nothing alike. Anyway, Ella is lovely. Her flight gets in at like two in the fucking morning though, so I said I’d pick her up. Except that pretty much convinced her that you can’t drive. Jake loves his family. He’d never not pick them up…”

                “Um. Okay. This seems more of a Jake problem?”

                “Oh, he knows already. He’s messaging her, but he’s not doing his regular video messages so she’s as suspicious as hell. I just wanted to give you a heads up and apologize.”

                “Right. So. We’ll have to tell her tomorrow then,” he says, letting out a tired breath. It’s a problem for future-Bradley. And future-Jake he supposes. He wonders if they’re going to tell Fanboy and Payback, or whether the weird-as-fuck debrief tipped them off. They did do it split, which isn’t usual, but he still should have been an active part of their debrief but it would have made no sense for him to be there in Lieutenant Jake Seresin’s body.

                Nat and Bob are sitting at the dining table looking at something on Bob’s phone and when he turns back into the living room he does a double-take, because Jake has been settled on the sofa. Jake smiles and pats the empty seat beside him so Bradley just lets himself slump down, rests his head on the back of the sofa. He hums appreciatively when Jake starts running fingers through his hair, follows the whispered instruction to lie down, resting his head in Jake’s lap while he pets his hair. It’s calming in a way he hadn’t expected, and he finds himself relaxing.

                “Okay – so I thought maybe at lunch you two were a thing. How long has this been going on?”

                “Three days,” Jake says, and Bradley nods, eyes slipping closed again.

                “Bullshit. You’re wearing each other’s clothes. That’s like, months type stuff.”

                “Yeah well, our timeline got pushed up,” Jake says and Bradley smiles at the turn of phrase. Pushed up indeed.

                “Well, I guess that’s what almost dying does.”

                Silence. He tenses, doesn’t want to think about that right now, has had to think and talk about almost nothing but that all afternoon and for the last few weeks. Jakes fingers keep combing through his hair. He hears someone hit someone else, quiet-hissed recriminations and does his best to ignore it. Tries to distract his mind.

                “What food did you order?”

                “Vietnamese. No fruit in sight.”

                “You’re a fruit…” Bradley mutters, and fuck he’s tired, he’s not making any sense even to himself.

                “I’m fruit you like. Just the right firmness,” Jake says and Bradley can’t help the snort of laughter, cracks an eye open to peer up at him and he gets a grin and a wink. It makes him laugh harder and it has an edge of hysterics, like anything and everything is hilarious.

                “You two are fucking weird.”

                “You’re only just coming to this conclusion now?” Coyote asks dryly and Bradley gives him the finger, laughs more when he sees Jake doing the same thing.

                “Hey, Javy you ass. Take a photo, I need another one to send…” Jake says, and he’s tossing his phone to Coyote who catches it effortlessly.

                “Everyone say hi to Ella…”

                Coyote is clearly taking a short video, there’s a very disorganized-jumble sounding greeting and then Javy is sending it off despite Jake’s protests he wants to check it first, but then he’s too busy scrambling to make sure the phone doesn’t hit Bradley in the face when coyote chucks it back at him.

                “Right. I’m out. I just came to tell you about Ella coming. Come on you lot, let’s leave the new lovebirds to their own devices…”

                “Yeah, come on.”

                “Oh, I thought we were staying for dinner?”

                “Where are we going?”

                “Nope. Come let me beat you at darts while Hangman is out of commission.”

                “Yeah, I guess if your boyfriend almost died twice you wouldn’t want to let him out of your sight…”

                “Fucks sake man, shut up already.”

                “Yeah…”

                Part of him wants them to stay, if for nothing but the distraction value. However it hasn’t helped so far so maybe it is better that they go. He and Jake don’t talk while their friends leave; he feels like an awful host but he’s tired, hungry, and emotionally wrecked. He lets himself lie there and enjoy his hair and head being stroked, the action making him drowsy.

                “What are you doing?”

                “Just chatting with my niece. She’s asking where the fuck I got the shirt…”

                “Tell her it’s your boyfriends…”

                “Boyfriend huh?”

                “If the shoe fits…”

                “You think we’re ready for that?”

                “I don’t want to wait until I think I am.”

                “Think we might actually need legit couples therapy out the gate…”

                “Yeah… yeah.”

                “Seriously? You’d, uh, go to therapy?”

                “Yeah. I’ve been to therapy before. It can be good, if you get a good person.”

                He doesn’t add that he wants this to work with Jake. That he is more than prepared to put the effort in to make it work, for as long as Jake will have him.

                “Then I’ll let her know… trying to explain now that it’s my boyfriend’s ankle that is busted and I’m glued to your hip taking care of you. Too busy to call her.”

                “Do you want me to talk to her?”

                “Uh… You could try, but we often switch to ASL, so… we’d be found out instantly.”

                “When did you learn ASL anyway, you seem pretty… fluent?”

                “It’s my first language. I’m the only hearing person in my family. Well, I was, anyway. A couple of my nieces and nephews’ kids are hearing. I was the only one for quite a while though. Ella is hearing and she’s the oldest.”

                “Wait, when you said you saw them talking on the carrier, you literally saw them.”

                “Yep. Think they assumed it was a private conversation… Mav is not subtle.”

                Bradley laughs, but it’s accompanied by a swoop of guilt and sadness again, but then an excited spark of realizing that he’s going to be learning ASL to talk with Ice, and Jake’s family.

                “Will you teach me? ASL?”

                “Pretty sure I can find the right motivation for you darlin’… although, some of my family are actual ASL teachers, or interpreters, so…”

                “I want you to teach me.”

                “Sure thing… we got time.”

                “Yeah, we do.”

                He gets up when the food arrives, delicious smelling bahn mi filled with ginger and lemongrass chicken. Jake makes him sit opposite him and starts teaching him the alphabet and Bradley follows along easily enough, although as soon as Jake speeds up he’s lost immediately. He asks for the sign for everything, and Jake humors him. They brush their teeth side by side in the bathroom and he likes the domesticity of it. They have done everything completely backwards but it also seems to be promising something.

                They arrange themselves in bed, Bradley tucking himself in carefully behind Jake, he’d like for nothing more to be held right now but the broken ankle makes things awkward and Jake insists on cuddling, which isn’t something he would have ever thought he was into from looking at him, but he’s more than happy to oblige. They talk quietly, Jake listing all of his family again and Bradley pays more attention. Older brother and sister both in their mid-fifties. His parents in their late-seventies. His six nieces and nephews ranging from twenty-five down to twelve. Bradley makes a comment about how holidays must be noisy and Jake laughs, tells him no, because there’s not a lot of talking.

                He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes with a gasp, blood pounding in his ears, heart racing and he lets out a shaky breath, nightmare fading and reality settling back around him. He’s okay. The rehashing of missions in a debrief always seem to put his brain into overdrive, and obviously today? Yesterday? It was no exception. He’s shifted away from Jake in his sleep and he stretches, winces at the flare of discomfit. It sends a flash of awareness through him though and he swallows roughly, suddenly nervous. He reaches for his face in the dark and almost sobs with relief at the feel of his own features under his fingertips, moustache and scars easily identifiable as his and his alone.

                He reaches out and feels the warm body of Jake and then he feels him have a full body jolt and he realizes that he’s maybe having a nightmare too.

                “Hey… hey Jake… wake up…”

                “Fucking… wha?”

                “You were having a nightmare…”

                “Shit. Sorry…”

                “Don’t ever apologize for that. But also…” Bradley pauses then, wonders how to tell him that they’ve changed back. Jake’s still half-asleep and part of him is terrified that if they fall asleep again this part will all be a dream. He reaches for Jake’s hand and brings it to his face, presses his fingertips to the scars on his cheek before dragging them across to his moustache and he grins, pokes his tongue out and licks before deciding to suck a single finger into his mouth. Might as well go for broke.

                “Holy shit, we’re… back.”

                “We sure are.”

THE END

Author's note:

This marks two weeks of being 'in' the TGM fandom (other than just commenting on fanfic when I can). I re-wrote the last chapter, because this entire fic has been a practice for me to get back into writing regularly again.

There are parts I wrote which have been removed:

I removed the explicit stuff from the last chapter. It got too big, but more importantly (for me) was that it didn't fit right for me in terms of their emotional upheaval.

Bob’s utter disgust with them (the following day) at their complete lack of scientific approach to figuring out how to switch back.

Bradley and the mending of his relationship with Maverick and Ice.

Bradley being dragged off to Texas (?) – nothing like full-immersion to learn a new language.

Other firsts… (I was basically just practicing writing PWP again it didn’t fit with their development to just jump right into it (in this particular case *cough cough*).)

On the subject of using ASL in my fic:

I do not use ASL personally (I'm not American, for a start). However I do use NZSL (it's my third language). However there will be differences in Deaf culture - I am only aware of Deaf culture in my own country. (I am not Deaf, however I am HoH*and am ~5 years off needing a hearing aid or using NZSL full-time - hence learning to use it for nearly 20 years).

Genuinely open to chatting with people about Deaf culture and using SL in fics.

*HoH = hard of hearing

(NZSL = New Zealand Sign Language, and my second language is Swedish for those who are wondering. I was born and raised in New Zealand but lived in Sweden for an exchange and still try and speak Swedish as often as I can, but I would say I used NZSL more regularly).