#I’m not putting any dwarves here because to be honest I don’t see that as Genderbending

[frodo-with-glasses]

This is a post about Ghân-buri-Ghân and the Woses, or the Wild Men.

Full disclosure: When I was a kid, I pretty much skipped this part. I was already getting very lost with the logistics of the Rohirrim’s movement, and I was very impatient for Merry and Pippin to be reunited already and Frodo and Sam to be done with the quest and back on home turf. I was having a hard enough time telling the difference between Gondor and Rohan (every other race in Middle Earth only gets one country that’s very important, but for the most boring race of them all I’m supposed to keep track of two?? preposterous), and having yet another group of humans pop up out of nowhere just to disappear after half a chapter left me baffled and annoyed.

After all, the Wild Men are pretty much disconnected from everything else in the story, aren’t they? They aren’t related to any of the characters we’ve met already. They’re not personal friends with any members of the Fellowship, or even friends with the friends of the members of the Fellowship. They have very little to do with Rohan and Gondor, and nothing at all to do with elves or dwarves or ents or hobbits or wizards or anything else that Little Me thought were the Important Parts of the story. If you took your cue from the movies, this opinion would only seem reinforced: the Riders of Rohan reach Minas Tirith with no complications greater than a Mumakil, and the Wild Men aren’t mentioned even once. If you didn’t know better, you might think the Wild Men are little more than an extraneous detour.

But it’s exactly because they seem extraneous that I think we need to pay them extra attention. Tolkien is not a careless storyteller; he’s long-winded, for sure, and has a knack for descriptions in excruciating detail, but he’s not careless. Every word, every sentence, every line of dialogue and narration and poetry exists in the story for a reason. If Tolkien didn’t have to put the Wild Men in the story—if they weren’t strictly necessary to the plot, save to solve one problem that (let’s be honest) kinda looks like it was invented just so they could fix it—that means he wanted to put them there. He wanted them there, because he wanted to tell us something.

I think it behooves us to listen.

So what is Tolkien trying to say? I have no idea. The man’s dead, and I can’t ask him. But the message I’m getting here has two parts:

1. The World Is Big

If nothing else, the Woses serve as a reminder that Middle Earth is much, much bigger than even Lord of the Rings makes it out to be. That’s saying something, because LotR isn’t a small story! This is a grand legend that stretches across nations, from one horizon to the other in an epic trek, and yet it still fails to capture Middle Earth in its every detail. Entire nations and kingdoms get lost in the wash, or are only mentioned in passing, and some names we only see in the maps at the back of the book.

Remember, Tolkien’s framing device for LotR is that it was an eyewitness account, a history written by the hobbits and supplemented with accounts from their friends. The POV characters we’ve had so far—if I’m remembering correctly—are Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Fatty Bolger, Bilbo, Aragorn, Gimli, and a sort of omniscient narrator that seems to represent “hearsay” or “local gossip”. If any of these characters didn’t witness something and come back to report it, then it didn’t make it into the story. If they didn’t go someplace, or meet some people, and come back to tell about it, then it didn’t make it into the story.

But just because the unnamed peoples of Middle Earth don’t get into the histories doesn’t make them any less important. Just because we don’t learn their names doesn’t mean they didn’t suffer under the fear of Sauron, or rejoice when he was defeated. Just because we don’t know them doesn’t make them any less…well, for lack of a better word, human, or any less important.

The War of the Ring mattered just as much to the Wild Men as it did to Gondor or Rohan or the Shire. Because the War of the Ring was about saving their world too.

2. A Treatise on Treatment of Native Peoples

Again, I’m only trying to reiterate what I can see of Tolkien’s opinion in this passage. I happen to agree with a lot of what he says, but we’re talking about him, not me.

The Woses are, as far as I can tell, the closest thing to an indigenous or native people group in the southern region of Middle Earth. Obviously they must have come from somewhere—anyone who’s read the Silmarillion could probably fill me in on that—but Ghan-buri-Ghan says himself that “Wild Men live here before the Stone-houses; before Tall Men come up out of Water”. The Wild Men preceded the settlement of Gondor, and inhabited the land even before the Numenorians; they were here First, and still they remain.

So, how does Tolkien portray this native people group? Well, the first thing he does is to say—hilariously and pointedly—that the Wild Men are anything but stupid. Ghan warns, in his broken speech, that Mordor’s forces outnumber the Rohirrim, and Eomer challenges this assertion—“how do you know that?”—to which Ghan says, if I may paraphrase, “boi I’m not a child I can count as well as you can”. The first point made is that, though the Wild Men may seem ugly and primitive and are clad only in grass skirts, they are as shrewd as the tacticians of Rohan, and maybe even more.

The next thing that happens is that Ghan strikes a deal: he and his people will lead the Rohirrim to Minas Tirith by long-forgotten roads, and in exchange, the men of Rohan must battle to drive off the Darkness so that the Wild Men may go back to their lives in peace. Of course, this arrangement benefits both parties; both are in danger, and both have a common enemy. To see the end of the Darkness would be infinitely valuable to them both.

This is fascinating to me, because you can’t really say that one party here was “using” the other, or that one benefited at the other’s expense. Yes, the Rohirrim gained the guidance of the Wild Men, which furthered their goal; but in the end, it only put them one step closer to possible death on the battlefield against a great Enemy. Yes, the Wild Men get to sit back and watch the Horse-Men risk their lives in open war, but if they should fail, what then? By helping Rohan, they are establishing themselves as an enemy of Sauron; whether Ghan realizes it or not—and personally, I think he does—this single act of defiance is putting a target on the backs of his people, should the Enemy emerge victorious. Sure, they can hide in the forests for a while—as long as there are forests. But not forever. I think that’s why Ghan takes his stand now; he knows there might not be another chance.

Ghan has established that he is shrewd, straightforward, and honorable. He even vows that he will lead the Rohirrim himself, and that they may kill him if he steers them wrong; he’s that willing to stake his life on his word. But when Theoden promises to handsomely reward Ghan for his help and his faithfulness, Ghan only asks for one thing in return: “if you live after the Darkness, then leave Wild Men alone in the woods and do not hunt them like beasts anymore”.

There’s something in me that kinda…twinges, when I read this. Like I’m half-remembering a bolt of anger from Baby Me before I checked out of this passage entirely. How dare this book imply that these kind, noble horse-people would be so cruel and barbaric as to hunt other human beings like animals? Wasn’t this the same people whose king accepted Merry like a son, and who provided Gandalf with the best horse in the world? These are the GOOD guys! They wouldn’t do something like that! The book doesn’t know what it’s talking about, clearly. I wish I could get back to the hobbits again.

But now that I’m older, I think it’s more telling that Rohan isn’t spotless and blameless in this transaction. They have wronged the Wild Men in the past; out of ignorance, maybe, and out of prejudice, perhaps, and out of fear, almost certainly. We all fear what is foreign to us and what we don’t understand. But Ghan is putting that aside for the moment. Ghan chooses to extend forgiveness. For once, his people and Rohan face a greater evil, and they unite against a common enemy. All of the sudden, Rohan has an opportunity to make amends for all their wrongs, by “driving away the bad air and darkness with bright iron”.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about the historical treatment of native people groups in our real world. The archetypal example, of course, is the European settlers and the native tribes of North America; but we see the same thing in Central and South America too, and that’s not even getting into the British Empire’s other affairs in Egypt and India and China and Oceania. I could talk about the Spanish conquistadors; I could talk about the Dutch in South Africa and apartheid. But it goes even further back than that. It’s what the Roman Empire did to the Germanic peoples of Gaul; what the Islamic Empire did to the entire Middle East and much of Northern Africa; what the Babylonians and Persians and the Mesopotamian superpower of the week did to their vassal states on a regular basis. Standard practice in Babylonia was to invade a place and immediately ship all the smart, strong, and wealthy people off to Babylon to be assimilated, leaving behind the weak, poor, unlearned, and destitute to till the land and keep their heads down. Can’t have a rebellion if everyone’s too dumb and starving to organize it.

(Incidentally, the Roman Empire is what gave us the word “barbarian”; the speech of the Germanic peoples they conquered was unintelligible to them and sounded like “bar-bar-bar”, so they named them after it. The fact that the word they coined now refers to a ruthless, stupid, uncouth person should tell you a lot about the Roman Empire’s opinion of these folks.)

Anyway, the point is that throughout history, there’s always been a pattern: up comes this people group who’s smarter and more advanced than anybody else, and they think that gives them free rein to go wherever they want, do whatever they want, and use, abuse, and extort the people they see as “beneath” them. The Romans had figured out indoor plumbing by the time of Christ, and they thought they were such hot stuff that they took over the Mediterranean and taxed the living daylights out of them. (Some estimates put the tax rate at about 90%. 90!! Imagine keeping only a tenth of your paycheck every month. I know it already feels like that, but still!)

We’d do well to address the question that Baby Me probably thought when I read this for the first time: “Why can’t the Wild Men just be Men of Rohan?” Why can’t they put on real clothes, and pick up spears and swords, and get on horses and ride into battle and make a real contribution? Why do they insist on going back to their primitive lives? Perhaps part of the reason the Men of Rohan felt justified in hunting the Wild Men is because they saw them as more crude and less advanced people; “they live in the forests, clad only in grass, hunting and sleeping under the stars like dangerous wild animals, and therefore must be treated as such”.

But let me ask you a question: Aren’t the people of Rohan primitive too? Aragorn describes them as “unlearned, not writing any books but singing many songs”; how is that any different from the songs that may be passed down by Ghan-buri-Ghan’s people? Isn’t Rohan crude and simple in its own way, at least in comparison to some others? Just because they build houses of wood and speak with fair, beautiful speech doesn’t mean they are better than those who don’t. If Rohan had the right to treat the Wild Men as they wished—because, as “civilized people”, they were so much smarter and more advanced—then Saruman had the right to treat Rohan as he wished—because, as a Wizard, he was so much smarter and more advanced.

I want you to get this. If Rohan does not check itself here and humbly accept the Woses as equals, then Rohan is no better than Saruman.

Thankfully, Rohan does pass the test. One of Theoden’s greatest traits is his humility, and it serves him well here. A deal is struck, a path is cut, and the Wild Men make their contribution and disappear into the forests, with only a lingering portent that the wind is changing, and maybe the times with it. The book says that they were “never to be seen by any Rider of Rohan again”; by which I take it that Rohan’s side of the promise was upheld, and the Wild Men lived on, in their own ways, unmolested, in the Druadan Forest until the end of time.

I don’t have a way to end this, but maybe that’s appropriate to the subject matter; like the Wild Men themselves, this post will appear out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly as it came. I just think the Woses are fascinating—both for in-universe and meta reasons—in spite of, and perhaps because of my initial annoyance all those years ago.

We will return to your daily crack post tomorrow LOL

[tymes]

Blue Devils: 3 - Choices Tatum

“Why am I here?”

Judge is at his desk and Alicia is beside him, seated on the edge of the desk. Frankie is seated next to the desk and standing at the door are Angel and her cronies.

I’m on the other side of the desk, closer to Judge, my arms across my chest. I’m annoyed to be here, but I expected it. Like I told Beth, Angel must give me some type of drama. It never fails.

Judge’s office isn’t large, so it feels a bit cramped in here. I sigh, awaiting an answer that I don’t really want.

“Angel here says that she has an issue with you,” Alicia tells me. “Do you mind filling us all in on the issue, Angel?”

She smiles. “Gladly. Tatum supervises the women, as you know. The problem is, she’s not a good supervisor.”

“Oh really?” Judge sits up in his chair, his hands clasped beneath his chin.

“She’s being honest,” Faith, the first friend, replies. “Tatum really isn’t doing a good job. We got locked out of the building due to her incompetence this morning! How do you manage to get us locked out like that?”

“I’m not the one that locked the door,” I reply. “You do know that right?”

“You also couldn’t get us back in,” Paula, the second friend says. “We froze our butts off because of you. Plus, this isn’t the first time you’ve done a bad job.”

“Oh please, you got inside the building just fine. You weren’t even out there that long!”

“Look at her, Judge,” Angel states. “Raising her voice at us all because we’re telling the truth! She’s a terrible baroness! I mean, Faith almost got bitten by a snake once while we were in the gardens and Tatum did nothing! Why can’t we have Frankie?”

“Ha! That’s what this is about?”

My question catches them off guard. “You’re bitching about me just so Frankie can supervise you, now? Are you serious?”

“He’s a better supervisor than you,” Paula retorts. “And it would be an honor to have a duke instead of a stupid baroness.”

“If Frankie would’ve done his damn job, you wouldn’t have been outside for too long in the first place!”

“Hey,” he yells. “Don’t put me in this! This is about you!”

“And you!” I yell back. “When you half-ass your job, I have to pick up the slack! Now your little bedroom dwarves are after my neck so they can get closer to you!”

“You’re accusing me of sleeping with them?!”

“Oh my gosh!” Paula now. “How dare you?”

“Yeah!” Faith adds. “Who the hell do you think you are to accuse him and us? See, Judge, she’s bad business. Just look at her!”

“Shut up!” I’m yelling, I don’t want to yell, but they’re pissing me off. “It’s clear that Frankie is fucking one of you!”

“I-“

“Okay!” Judge stands, both hands out to the side as if to separate us. “Tatum, watch your mouth. You too, Frankie.”

He sits back in his seat, sighing before speaking. “Let me ask you girls a few questions so that we can get this matter solved, hm?”

They nod, giddy with excitement, thinking that they’ve won. I’m not too sure they haven’t.

“You girls are new, but are you aware of the high titles in the organization? Do you know what they are?”

“Yes, “Angel smiles. “There’s the king, queen, prince or princess, archduke, and duke.”

“You’re aware that I have a granddaughter, right?”

They nod.

“Are you aware of who her father is?”

They each give little giggles before replying, “Frankie.”

“She’s cute just like him,” Angel says. “They’re twins to me.”

“She looks more like her mother to me,” Alicia states, standing from the edge of Judge’s desk. “You do know who her mother is, right?”

They look amongst each other, their smiles gone. “No,” Paula admits. “We assumed that…she…we just..”

“We don’t know,” Angel says. “We’ve never known. Are we going to be introduced to the princess, today?”

“Is she going to be our new supervisor?” Faith beams. “Oh God…that would be…just-”

“She already is,” Alicia states. “Tatum is the princess, and you three wish to trade her in for a duke? Not just any duke, but the father of her child. Are you plotting to create a wedge between them? They co-parent beautifully. Are you looking to end that? Speak!”

“I..we…we..No!” Angel stammers. “We…W…we…d…didn’t-“

“Get out!” Alicia huffs. “Go back to your quarters, immediately. You are not to discuss what just happened in this office with anyone. Understand?”

“Yes, “Paula nods. “We won’t, we promise.”

“Good. If nothing else, which I’m sure there is nothing else, this meeting is adjourned. You’re all officially dismissed.”

Thank God.

“Except for you Tatum and Frankie. You two will stay behind. It looks like we need to have a long overdue conversation. Care to sit?”

I can’t tell if Alicia is angry or simply upset. She’s never been one to wear her emotions on her sleeves. I watch her adjust her shirt and sigh as she stands next to Judge who places an arm around her.

“I’m disappointed in you two,” he begins. “I thought you’d both be better than this by now.”

“We are better,” Frankie says. “If Tatum wasn’t so jealous—"

“Don’t continue that,” Alicia interrupts. “Just…Just don’t.” She gives another heavy sigh and shakes her head. “You can’t fight each other on everything. You can’t.”

“We don’t,” I explain. “We just have hiccups like this when Franny doesn’t do what he’s supposed to.”

“I do what I’m supposed to,” he argues. “Again, you’re jealous.”

“Of what?” I question. “You’re nothing to write home about.”

“Alright, stop.” Alicia has moved away from Judge and is standing in the front center of his desk. “Frankie, Tatum has a point. You can’t flake out on your responsibilities, especially as a duke.”

“I don’t. She just doesn’t give me time to do anything.”

“Stop it, Frankie. You have more than enough time. Don’t blame her for your missteps.”

He falls silent. I guess he’s a bit annoyed, but when isn’t he?

“Listen, it’s simple. You’re both royals, so no arguing in front of the servants,” Judge says. “And do your jobs accordingly. Make me proud.”

“Understood,” I mumble.

“I will,” Frankie replies.

“And Frankie,” Judge adds. “Don’t be too influenced or too caught up in these women. You want to be king one day, right?”

King. Is he offering—

“Yes, and I plan to be a great one,” Frankie responds. “I’m going to do better, Judge, and prove to you that I can truly be a king of kings.”

Judge’s eyes meet mine, but he doesn’t say another word. I feel my heart drop as the truth comes at me all over again.

He’d never allow me to be king, no matter what I do.

“You’re dismissed.”

[ilovedainironfoot]

EREBOR, TO FORGE STRONG TIES OF ALLIANCE WITH THE OTHER RACES, SENT THEM INDIVIDUALLY AS AMBASSADORS TO MIRKWOOD FOR A MONTH, HOW DO THEY REACT ? ( DORI, NORI, RADAGAST, BALIN )

Asked by @estethell​ \^o^/ ( request are closed now )

DORI

-Looks like a good choice but is not a good choice

-awkward the whole time

-he is that one person who is like “Oh yes yes i know totally their customs of course” but in fact watched maybe three documentaries about them

-painfully cringe for everyone

-Elf think he is acting weird because “dwarf customs ?” and on the other side he is “ok i’m doing something wrong but i don’t know what”

-He still manages well because he has brought  gifts (precious stones, books, gems, jewels, fabrics) to show the goodwill of the dwarves, gifts that he has personally chosen himself and he has REALLY good taste. 

-he scolds the elves as he might scold Ori when they offer deals he thinks are stupid

-He thinks he's being super diplomatic and walking on eggshells when in reality the way he talks to the king is like throwing bricks in his face 

-The most stubborn merchant and he negotiates on every little detail

-Manages to sign an alliance but only because Thranduil had a headache from all his negotiations 

-AND as a good dwarf, returns to Erebor with chests of gold coins for Thorin, just as negotiated, because it is out of the question to return empty-handed as the king’s ambassador 

NORI

-Let’s be honest here : if Thorin chose the no-diplomatic skilled-pretty-much never-saw-an-elf-other-than-this-one-time-with-the-barrels-knowing-very-much little-about-them-thief for an ambassador...either he had no choice or he did it on purpose

-probably farting and burping throughout the meal with the elven king and the ten or so elven advisors and see nothing wrong with it

-still gets away with it because even though he doesn't know elven manners, "they don't know ours either".

-is responsible for almost all the rumours and strange theories about dwarf customs thanks to this 

-in fact he invents anything with the only sentence "That's how we do it in our dwarf kingdom" to do what he wants

-farting and burping ? that's how dwarves compliment cooking, it means you enjoy the food

-somehow ends up signing alliances with Thranduil after having provoked and avoided about forty diplomatic incidents because that's how it's done among dwarves

-openly mock the demands and decisions of councillors ? Like really mocking them ? That's how treaties are made among dwarves

-Go home with a couple of small souvenirs, all offered of course Dori how can you not trust me ? and also some plans of all the secret passages he discovered 

RADAGAST

-Because relations between Erebor and Mirkwood are not so good and Gandalf is gone and cannot be found, Thorin finds himself asking Radagast to help him in this task

-He's not sure if he's a good choice but he's willing to try 

-he’s doing his best, okay !

-he negotiates what he thinks the dwarves want, at least what Thorin has told him 

-not their best ambassador to say the least

-all this negotiations to create an alliance exhaust the wizard, like please can’t you just get along for Eru’sake ?????

-but he is a loyal friend and stays the whole month to make sure an alliance is forged, or at least that tensions are reduced between the two peoples

-at some point loses patience and becomes angry with Thranduil 

-he gets so angry that he brings Thorin to Thranduil and neither of them is allowed to leave the room until at least one of them has put his ego aside 

-finally an alliance is made and Radagast warns them that he doesn't want to hear of any more arguments or he will come back

-both Thranduil and Thorin went to Gandalf to protect them from the wrath of the forest wizard when the fight came after only a week 

BALIN

-the most competent here

-literally the only one who doing well the whole time

-the only one who has received the necessary diplomatic training

-the only one here who has a real knowledge of politeness and good manners among elves and not ready-made ideas like Dori

-He knows very well that no one can resist his grandfatherly cake smile. Sorry, but who wouldn't trust him ? 

-best ambassador ever

-He knows what subjects to avoid, especially with Thranduil, and what subjects to talk about in order to be in the good graces 

-and above all, a quality much appreciated by Thranduil, this dwarf knows when to step back in negotiations. Balin is the only dwarf to see a king first rather than an elf and acts accordingly. You don't treat a king as an equal or lesser, even if your two peoples have had their “quarrels”

-don't be fooled by his sweet smile and cloud beard and pointy cute shoes, this dwarf is a fucking telepath

-Give him just two days in Mirkwood and he already knows by heart all the corridors, what compliments to say to Thranduil and his advisors and how to approach negotiations in favour of the dwarves according to the needs of the Elves

-he comes back with alliances not only with Thranduil but also with Elrond. Give him a month and he can also come back with an alliance with the Lothlorien elves, especially if Dwalin challenges him. 

-The only one not to cause any diplomatic incidents and even to repair the diplomatic incidents of Dori and Nori if they came before him 

[bookwyrminspiration]

Half of the things that regarding Tam in Kotlc frustrate me honestly. It feels like he’s pushed aside in the series so frequently, and I feel like this really peaked when he was in the Neverseen in Legacy. First off, it kinda rubbed me the wrong way the way that half of the characters were acting like Tam betrayed them? And maybe I just horribly misread the scene in which he was taken to the Neverseen, but I would not say that was a consensual decision, like at all. Gisela basically just said “Hey come with me or I’m making an entire species extinct and killing your sister.” like that’s manipulation that’s not what an honest decision looks like. I just felt so bad for him because he was borderline kidnapped by this awful group and it felt like no one was taking it seriously. Sophie reached out to him once on her own, and then once again when Linh pushes her to. That’s about all she did to try to help Tam for pretty much the entire book, unless I’m forgetting something. It just frustrates me, especially considering how much she did to try to figure out who her parents were during that book. This isn’t a thing against Sophie, it’s just that the things she did during that book kinda make it seem like Sophie being able to get a matchmakers list is more important than Tam being kidnapped. I don’t know, I just feel bad for Tam it always feels like he’s getting the short end of the stick when he seems like he’s one of the characters who would need support the most? I mean, he’s got so much to deal with and half of his scenes just feel like “here’s a scarring situation for you Tam! Now go back home to Linh or something.” Also, the way they described Tam being chained and mind-controlled actually made me sick that’s really horrific. (Also I don’t know where to put this, but characters keep acting like Tam’s super-ultra edgy and I don’t really see it? This is probably just me, but he’s always seemed more like a really stressed out person to me, not necessarily edgy. This might just be because he’s in a stressful situation in like 80% of the scenes he’s in.) I’ll be honest, Tam just kind of feels like a punching-bag character half the time.

tam is one of my favorite characters so i'm looking forward to this one, nonsie

I do feel that Tam's situation was treated very similarly to Keefe's, though there was actually a lot differentiating the two, which makes it feel weird. To summarize, Keefe ran away to the Neverseen, actively making that choice, and Sophie decided to trust him with that decision. She thought it was dumb and that they'd have to rescue him, but it had been his choice. And she coordinated with him, reaching out nightly to see what was going on and to get a sense of how he was doing. She was actively doing what she could to monitor him and balance her other responsibilities

some of this mindset carried over into Tam, while I think he should've been approached differently. because this wasn't his choice. it wasn't coordinated, and he didn't want to be there. he wanted out, and he wanted to be out safely. My mind is linking it to that one conversation with Sophie you mentioned, the one with Linh. Specifically because he told Sophie not to reach out to him, and said "I. LIKE. IT. HERE[...]I'M EVEN MAKING FRIENDS," (Legacy 407). I think this kinda led us to the "Tam wants to be there the way Keefe did" connection that really isn't accurate. he was threatened into joining, and nothing he says after the fact will erase that.

additionally, while Tam was with the Neverseen, Gethen was back and could search his mind, which was why Sophie didn't reach out to him more than twice. it was a risk that could put Tam in direct danger, and he wouldn't know when it was coming and couldn't agree to that risk. so if the two paths of action we're applying to Keefe and tam are to try and physically remove them from the situation or keep tabs on them, since contacting him is off the table, you'd think they'd focus more heavily on trying to get him back. but they...didn't.

I agree with your assessment of her priorities as well. i don't fault her for trying to figure out who her bio parents are or for wanting to explore matchmaking, i'm judging her for her timing. because she's consistently been very motivated by her friends and keeping them safe, it feels a little off that she prioritized matchmaking over Tam's physical safety. i know the love triangle and romantic drama has a lot of draw for some of the younger fandom base, but I feel as though it was prioritized too much and actually betrayed some of Sophie's key values for publicity.

and going back to the "he always draws the short end of the stick," thing, I think you're exactly right. i honestly can't think of any scenes off the top of my head with Tam where he's allowed to just be a teenager and take a break. There's always drama with him, which I think in part comes from the "sarcastic dark aesthetic friend" he's kinda gotten boxed into. he's there to be dry and pessimistic and further the conversation. note: he doesn't actually seem like a dry/dark outlook person as much as a lot of us (myself included sometimes) make him out to be. yes, he uses a lot of sarcasm, but that's not synonymous with dark and edgy.

to me he sounds like..,bitter? and resigned? and just generally annoyed to be there but doesn't want to show it. i don't think that makes sense so let me expand on it. he feels like when one friend of yours has invited you into a group of theirs friends (none of whom you know) and you're just kinda existing in the same space but are slightly uncomfortable and don't know what to do with yourself, but you don't want to let it show and risk offending anyone. you talk and fake your way through it but it feels off and you just don't like it and don't want to be uncomfortable anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually has a lot of anxiety that everyone around him just doesn't pick up on

his life changed drastically very quickly and he doesn't have a lot of friends. sure, there's the group, but they're not friends in that way. tell me, can you think of one person Tam would tell his worries or fears to? I can't. the most obvious might be linh, but I don't believe he'd tell her, because he'd want to protect her instead of burdening her with his worries. I think he's tied to her a lot and seen as a package deal in a lot of canon--and frequently in fanon--so it can be hard to separate them at times,

I might be jumping around a little, but back to the chains. those are incredibly fucked up, and I don't think they're given the appropriate emotional response they deserved. this is a teenager who has been physically chained for all hours of the day, for weeks. and he's just living with it, knowing he can't take them off. and when Sophie learns and tells Mr. Forkle, his response is that he's never heard of something like that before and would need to research it. Like?? excuse me?? one of the minors you let swear fealty to your organization is literally chained and you're 1. not trying to get him back 2. just saying you need to research it.

that's another thing! everything I remember (and I might be forgetting something) is the teenagers talking about Tam being missing and how they need a plan and want him back. But there are several adults in his life now who could step forward to take that responsibility. Tiergan. Mr. Forkle, Squall, the bodyguards, any dwarves working with the Black Swan, etc. You know, these adults with loads more resources and people at their disposal. they could do something, organize something, make an effort. A child was kidnapped and it feels like they went "wow that sucks. hope we get him back. anyways--" idk. that's just something that's bothered me.

he just keeps getting hurt again and again. it's like that's all we focus on with his character, him being sarcastic and dark in stressful situations and not him just existing. we see him fighting with his parents, fighting with the neverseen, being teased and singled out when he's around Keefe, like can he catch a break? can we just let him smile for once?

I, for one, think he deserves to be more than just a punching bag, nonsie

[misterewrites]

Cheers from Newton Haven ( Mirror’s Edge)

Hey everyone E here with a surprising amount original works. haha so you can blame my good friend @hains-mae for this because she enabled me. So long story short I love writing. I love creating ideas, story plots, characters all that jazz. Often there's a lot of leftovers that i put away in word document just so I have stuff to work with or ideas i can use later. Most of the time I might write something just to get it out of my system but it usually just ends up gathering dust in my computer.

I've been getting more into modern urban fantasy stories and watching the unsleeping city which is a modern dnd show (highly recommend it. first season's free on youtube over at the dimension 20 channel) and naturally I wanted to write some so here we go.

I don't know how often I'll be writing this because this accidentally became my side project whenever I need a break from the underground but who knows might turn into another big layered project.

so basic summary is there are a group of friends, associates, reluctant allies, organizations and frenemies who work together to keep the peace of the supernatural world in check and to ensure it remains secret to everyone else while living their lives as best as they can. Today's chapter includes Finnrick Drift a private investigator wizard and his best friend Casey Remington, cleric of the hearth

that's it for me. have a great week! stay safe, take care of each other. wear your mask, wash your hands, get the vaccine if you can and I'll see you soon!

and if you wanna an easier place to read and leave me some good old comments or reviews you find the chapter right here https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/75486005

Not gonna lie i promised I’d try to promote myself more and it’s weird. it feels so weird. haha 

It was a busy Friday afternoon in Midtown. People in designer named suits and dresses bustled across the sidewalks in all directions, too caught up in last minute phone calls or sudden late night work orders to notice anything else. The buildings that scraped the bottom of the sky were clean with a fresh coat of paint and maintenance, a testimony to the wealth and power that was found here.

So naturally Casey felt as out of place as fish out of water in his purple baseball jersey and black shorts just standing outside some fancy restaurants doors with his friend.

“Finny” Casey started awkwardly, his sea green eyes darting back and forth awkwardly “Any reason we’re out here being creepy? I got a Neighborhood Watch meeting at like 6.”

Finnrick or Finny as Casey referred to him, was no better dress than he was for the environment. A long black trench coat that was more stitching than fabric, a matching frayed faded fedora sitting comfortably on his head. He wore a nice collared dark red shirt tucked in a black vest but even that felt cheap and tacky compared to the thousands of dollars worth of clothing that passed them on the street every second. At least his black dress pants were dark enough to hide the patch up jobs and naturally the only kept squeaky clean were his loafers.

Finnrick sucked on the thin white stick for a moment before speaking up “I’m debating if it’s worth the trouble. I didn’t realize you had a meeting tonight.”

“Well we always meet up on the fifth. You know talking about treaties, clean up jobs, if any undead hordes have been spotted. My birthday cake.”

“Ah shit” Finnrick rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, his dark brown eyes apologetic “It’s your birthday? Did you want to go? I think I can handle it alone.”

Casey lifted the hat off Finnrick’s head and playfully ruffled his already messy black hair “You getting old Finny. My birthday is the tenth.”

Finnrick waved off his assault “I’m six months younger than you.”

“But” Casey gestured to the smattering of sliver streaks in Finn’s hair “You look older.”

“At least I don’t look like I’m 15. Dude you need a haircut. Everyone here thinks you’re a hippie.”

“A good looking hippie.” Casey gave a dramatic shake, his wavy dark brown hair flowing in the breeze.

The pair burst out laughing, doubling over trying to catch their breath as the business suits eyed them distastefully.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Finnrick made his way over, smiles and charm as they approached the doorman.

“Your cigarette sir.” The doorman spoke dully.

Finnrick pulled out the now finished lollipop “Don’t smoke but done anyway.”

The doorman gestured to the nearby trashcan but Finnrick opt to tuck it away in coat pocket. Disgusted but professional, the doorman gave strained smile as he allowed them entry into the building.

Casey nudged Finnrick curiously “Wizards? Warlocks? God not druids.”

“Probably. This is guy doesn’t have an ounce of magic in him but I wouldn’t doubt he’s got some casters on the payroll. Try not to leave anything behind.”

“I’m a freaking walking carpet here!”

“That” Finnrick grinned playfully “Is why you need haircut.”

Casey gave a fake snarl “Shut up and call the elevator.”

Finnrick whistled, amused by the near silence of the opening doors “Such fance. Barely a sound.”

“So what’s the plan?”

Finnrick scratched the little bush of hair he had on his chin thoughtfully “Ask some questions. Probably get no answers. Be threatened more than likely.

Casey cracked the tension in his neck “Think it’s gonna get ugly?”

“Depends on how many witnesses.”

The two made their way to the seventh floor, the elevator smoothly slowing to a stop before the doors opened with a ding. Two burly men in suits were waiting, flanked on either side as they gestured to an empty restaurant dining room.

“The boss will like to speak to you.”

Finnrick and Casey shared a look.

“Sure!” Finnrick beamed cheerfully, patting both the brutes arms as he passed “I was hoping to talk to him anyway.”

The men growled in annoyance but did nothing as Casey and Finnrick made their way to the center talk, unsurprised to find two glasses of wine waiting for them.

“After you” Finnrick joked, pulling out Casey’s chair for him.

Casey gave a mocking smile “Such a gentleman.”

“Only one I bet” Finnrick whispered before taking his seat.

Casey could hear the low hissing of whatever spells were on their chairs being dispelled.

Yep there was going to be trouble.

Casey eyed the room carefully in search for options: The room itself was pretty dark, dark reddish walls with dim lights to set the mood. Most of the tables had been left alone for whatever event this room was scheduled for later with the chairs stacked in the corner. A few feet to their left was the bar, unmanned but well stocked and a window to the outside nearby.

“Well, well, well!” A voice called out from some shadowy part of the room “Who do I have the pleasure of meeting this fine Friday afternoon?”

Finnrick rose to his feet, politely motioning to himself and Casey “My name is Fredrick and this is my friend Charles.”

The man’s hazel eyes shone with suspicion “No last names?”

“Of course” Finnrick grin “But there’s no need for friends, right? We are friends Robert?”

Robert paused, a barely contained rage shimmering just under the surface. His slicked back graying hair and tailored perfect dark blue suit were signs of a precise, irrational control. This was a man that was never told what to do and considered himself above everyone and anyone.

“Of course.” He answered a moment too late. He was not happy. “Of course. What are polite manners among friends?”

“Thanks Bobby!” Finnrick gave a friendly wink before retaking his seat.

Robert fumed but followed Finnrick’s example as a trio of secret service wannabes took their spots across the room: Inhumanly beautiful men with dark suits and shades. Something was off about them but Casey couldn’t put his finger on it.

“What do I owe the pleasure Freddy?” Robert sneered, hoping to see how Finnrick a taste of his own medicine.

“Well Bobby.” Finnrick went on, purposely ignoring the older man’s jab “As you know you have been stealing countless money from your employees.”

Robert chuckled darkly “I am afraid wherever you have been getting this claim is very misinformed. I am a simple, honest businessman.”

Finnrick nodded in agreement “Of course. Of course. That’s how you can say that with a straight face. Honest businessman of mundane practices.”

Casey felt his hair on his arm stand on end as the atmosphere in the room tensed. The brutes growled unhappily, the trio of bodyguards shifted uneasily and Robert’s eyes shone with understanding.

“I see.” He spoke simply “You’re from the other side.”

“Naturally.” Finnrick confirmed “No need to peer around the bush, is there?”

“No need at all. It is refreshing for such transparency. You don’t get that often in the world of business.”

“I doubt you give much either Mister Walker.”

“Enough games. What are you doing here? Some kind of union rep for magical freaks? Blackmailing me?”

Finnrick sat up with pride “Private investigator. Building a case against you actually.”

Robert carefully studied both men before him, trying to piece together their plan, their angle.

“Either.” He spoke after a few moments “You have all you need or more than likely you have nothing and you are simply here to smoke me out, hoping I will give you something to use against me.”

Casey felt Finnrick’s hand move underneath the table and a rush of chilly air brushed his leg.

Casey gave a quick nod to let Finn know he understood.

Finnrick cleared his throat “You’re aware of the works of Tolkien Mister Walker?”

Robert was caught off guard “What?”

“Elves.” Finnrick answered with a calming voice “Elves are the most famous of his characters that aren’t humans of course but there’s more: Elves, dwarves...”

“Hob…” Robert began but Finnrick cut him off.

“That’s a legal matter but yes. Wonderfully fantastic creatures.”

Robert narrowed his eyes “And?”

Finnrick leaned in close, smile mocking and cold “I hate when people take advantage of them.”

Robert was a cold, calculating heartless man who was used to being the smartest one in the room. The one who rigged the playing field in his favor, held every ace in his hand and led his prey exactly where he wanted them to be. He played with people before he destroyed their hope. He was the apex predator in the world of business.

It was satisfying to see that swagger and pride drain out of his face.

The businessman went for the button hidden underneath his side of the table, no doubt the switch to trigger the holding spells on Casey and Finnrick’s chairs. Of course Finnrick had dispelled them first chance he got and since the only other caster in the room was Casey, no one else noticed.

Robert’s face was the second most beautiful thing Casey had ever seen (first being Jaime but there was no need to tell her that). The panic, the fear, the utter confusion. Just poetic justice at its finest.

Finnrick shot to his feet with a surprising speed given his unremarkable build. He muttered the words of power, a magical incantation as his hand made the proper gestures to complete the spell.

The shades squad went for their weapons but Finnrick had gotten the drop on all of them. He pulled his hand back, a burning flame sitting peacefully in his palm. He pitched the flame forward, lobbing directly at the closet goon. The inhumanly beautiful man rose his arms to defend himself in time. The flame, mostly pressurized air, splashed over him harmlessly as the force of the attack shoved him back into the wall.

Casey followed Finn’s example. He stood as well (not as quick as his friend), a soft gentle light glowing from his hands. He glanced at the two remaining shades and aimed directly for them. A bolt of pure light burst forth from his palms. One goon got a chest full of holy energy and skidded backwards but the other was ready. He leapt to the side and narrowly avoided the attack as he slid out of sight.

The brutes charged towards the pair, murder in their eyes. Finnrick barely spared them a look as he snapped his finger. The two flames sigils he had imprinted om them when he grabbed their arms ignited, twin fires eating at their sleeves and sending them into a panic.

“What’s the plan?” Casey shouted, sending more holy bolts towards the shades.

“Up and over the counter.” Finnrick answered, tossing another fireball.

Casey quickly made his way closer, prepping to leap over the bar when Finnrick crashed into him, a strange whistling sound piercing his ears one moment then silent the next.

“Over buddy over!” Finnrick repeated, grabbing Casey by the collar and heaving him ontop of the counter. Casey flailed for a moment before glancing backwards. Finnrick was right behind him, hand outstretched as a blue translucent field of protective magic hung before the two while the shades opened fire with crossbows, the jet black bolts barely visible in the dimness of the room. They bounced harmlessly off the barrier but Casey could see the cracks starting to form.

Casey hopped over the bar gracelessly, struggling for a moment before clearing the jump. Finnrick tucked himself backwards, allowing himself to roll over the counter top and land on the other side with a thud.

“Remember when elves were honorable?” Casey huffed, quickly scanning the various bottles.

Finnrick scoffed “They were never honorable. They just acted better than everyone.”

“Remember when we were kids?”

“Vaguely. Pass the absinthe. I want to really make this hurt.”

“Blue bottle? These are all in German and Russian.”

“Green liquid. Come on Case I taught you better.”

“Right. I miss when the cartoons used to tell us the mafia was honorable.”

“Criminals these days.” Finnrick shook his head disappointingly “Just don’t make them like they used to. It’s all corporate shit.”

Casey began picking other bottles at random, wrapping them tightly with the tape he brought “It’s disillusioning I tell you. How right is he?”

Finnrick smashed a pane of glass. He took the jagged edge and slowly inched it over the counter, catching sight of the trio of shades for a moment before a crossbow bolt shattered the glass.

He flexed his hand, trying to relax his muscles. They were elves alright. They might be dressed in suits and ears hidden by some sort of glamour illusion magic but old habits died hard. Elves habits never died given their long lives. The trio had fallen into a close knit triangle formation: one fires, one reloads with the last taking aim.

“He had this whole operation locked tight. No one was talking. Either bribed them or made an example of them. Broken bones or horns. I had enough evidence to implicate him but bringing him to trial in the mundy court was going to be pointless.”

Casey moved the bottles back and forth to ensure they wouldn’t come loose midair “So what are we doing here?”

“Given his limited knowledge and the numerous magical violations I counted in this building alone, I figured he’s not registered with the Council.”

Casey’s eyes lit up in understanding “Gotcha. How long we got?”

Finnrick shook his hand back and forth “I’d say 10 minutes knowing the Council. Magic in an unregistered area requires a subtler approach for them. “

Casey snorted “Fake beards and stilts for the gnomes you mean? Robert will be gone by then.”

Finnrick’s face scrunched in concentration “He’s still here. Cowering under the table. He’s not used to dangerous wizards up in his face. Let’s scare him put huh?”

Casey spared his friend a glance “Big shot?”

Finnrick nodded in agreement “Aim high Case.”

And with a synchronicity only achieved through years of friendship, the two stood up at once. Casey threw the makeshift bomb high into the air as Finnrick formed the magical shield once more. Arrow after arrow bounced harmlessly off its surface as the bottles sailed through the air. Finnrick focused directly in the center of the payload. The shield dropped but the elves had broken formation and were all reloading at once. Finnrick pinched his thumb and finger together, murmuring under his breath. A small spark of flame fluttered wildly on his finger. He flicked it as quickly as he could towards the bottles. The spark spun and twisted as it floated towards the payload. The spark expanded, growing in size, and intensity, rapidly without warning. The air warmed as the spark exploded, smashing the bottles and engulfing the alcohol within. Flaming liquid, glass and hot air shot out in every direction. The elves were blasted off their feet and crashed against the far wall with sickening series of crunches. The floor above now had a massive hole in it and the brutes sprawled across the floor. Robert himself was thrown onto the ground, ash and soot covering his face as he struggled to breath.

He tried to call for someone but his ears were ringing and everyone was down for the count. He tried to search for the trouble makers but the smoke that filled the room was too thick.

The elevator dinged open once more and three pale suits came scuttling out. They clung to the walls on all fours, unnatural and repulsive. Their blood red eyes shone in the dimly light room, their fangs barred and ready for blood.

“Vampires!” Casey rubbed his eyes tiredly “This fucker has vampires. Loose by the way.”

“Right?” Finnrick shook his head “There are just so many regulations being violated right now.”

The vampires did not care. They dropped to the floor, gliding effortlessly midst the smoke and flame.

Casey took a step closer to the encroaching undead. He outstretched one hand towards them while the other clasped his necklace tightly. The vampires tilted their head quizzically at the symbol that adored the chain: It was a house of all things, a simple shape of rectangles and triangles no different than what a child would draw.

The vampires chuckled, their eyes bright with hunger.

Of course in their bloodlust they had forgotten something important: It was not the symbol but the faith behind it that was their bane.

Casey held the symbol as high as he could. The vampire shrunk away from him as his eyes blazed with holy energy, the symbol of home glowing with a harsh light. The vampires barred their fangs as a symphony of noises overwhelmed their senses: the soft hum of an air conditioner, footsteps thundering about, the chill of winter, the heat of summer, the overlapping sounds of cars and buses as the roar of crowds boomed in their ears. The city, the hearth of so many people, filled this room for a moment.

The vampires drew back, white smoking curling off their charring flaky skins. They ducked back into the elevator, hiding in whatever corner they could manage until the doors shut with a satisfying ding.

“Come on” Finnrick gestured to the window “I don’t want to be written up for unauthorized magic in an unregistered area.”

Casey and Finnrick scampered to the window. Casey’s face turned a sickly green when he realized how high up they were.

“Ugh I don’t feel good.” his stomach churned queasily.

Finnrick broke the window with his elbow, the fresh smoggy air of the city bringing some color back into Casey’s cheeks “I know buddy but it’s only eight floors up.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“Okay cool jump now!”

Robert regained enough sense to see the troublemakers leap out the window without hesitation. He struggled to his feet when flickers of something began to form. Before he knew what was going on, the previously empty room was now filled with various creatures: Elves, dwarves, a gnome on silts had appeared out of thin air. They weren’t dress in any ancient medieval garb but rather dark blue jackets, jeans and combat boots with the initials M.R.R.D stitched on their clothing. They were no different than any one on the street aside their more unique physical features.

“M.R.R.D!” the gnome cried out, brandishing a strange clockwork pistol “Everyone freeze! We sensed a magical disturbance and a violation of the Arcane Veil!”

Robert rose to his full height “I am Robert Walker and I…”

The gnome opened fire and Robert could feel exhaustion overtake him. Sleepiness began to ebb at his resolve and before he could mutter another word, he closed his eyes. A dreamless sleep until he woke up in a council prison cell a few hours later.

-----

Casey didn’t scream as he fell through the air. He was too busy trying to keep his lunch in his stomach.

Finnrick waited a moment to make sure everything was in place and with a wave of his hand, the two began to fall much slower. They landed on their feet as if they had taken a step off the sidewalk instead of several stories up.

Casey began hyperventilating, trying his best to get his stomach settled. Finnrick began fanning his face when a man walked up to him.

Casey and Finnrick said nothing, waiting for the Arcana Veil to fill in any blanks they were missing. They could’ve told this man anything but they found from experience that it was just easier to roll with whatever the magical blanket that separated the mundane world from the magical decided.

The man peered at them, his gaze unsure and confused.

“Hey, you guys okay?” he asked helpfully.

Casey and Finnrick remained silent.

His eyes glazed over for a moment, a strange shimmering sheen within his pupils telling the duo that the veil was in effect.

“You guys are oddly dressed for window washers.” the man chuckled.

Finnrick glanced back to find a ghostly image of an electrically operated scaffold behind them, water buckets and squeegees included.

They shared a look.

“Would you believe it’s national window washer day?” Casey filled in.

Finnrick added “Yeah, they let us wear whatever want today. It’s only one day out of the year anyway and most of the time we work by ourselves so no harm done.”

the man nodded like that was the most reasonable thing he had ever heard “Right sorry. I’ll just be on my way.”

Finnick and Casey ducked out of the alleyway behind him, heads low and nonchalant as the human M.R.R.D members began to shut down the restaurant from the outside.

“Well that sucked.”

“Just a little. Here let’s go some dinner on me.”

“Damn straight on you Finny. Brutes, elves, vampires?”

“Oh my.”

“Now I’m ordering extra bread for that.”

[gffa]

I was talking with @himboskywalker​ about Tolkien and fandom and fic, because I’m always curious where people’s “area” of the wider Legendarium are at, whether they’re a fan of the Dwarves or the Humans or the Elves or the Valar or what!  (As a surprise to absolutely no one, the Elves are where my heart is at, where I very much love the Noldor, but if you give me a choice I’m going to run over to that Sindar-centric fic every time.) Which got us onto the topic of fic recs, where, yes, I’ve done a LOT of Tolkien fic recs but I tend to read something of a wide variety and this is a list specifically aimed at those who are familiar with the wider Tolkien world, but haven’t really read much fic and want to know where to start! Other Recs First: - If you haven’t gotten further into Tolkien’s work (like say beyond the movies), I’ve done something of a primer here, which includes fic recs and brief explanations and links to videos that help explain some things.  It’s not as hard as it seems to get involved, honest! - Some other fic recs here, as an addition to the above. - My Tolkien blog (which I haven’t been on in awhile, though, I haven’t let it go in my heart yet) has, I’m not kidding, A LOT of fic recs, I did recs regularly for about three years, so it’s almost as massive as my collection of SW recs. If I Could Only Pick Three To Start You With: ✦ And What Happened After by thearrogantemu - This is the fic that took me from enjoying the Silm characters to diving face-first into really loving them, because it wove such an engaging story about the characters sailing to Aman at the end of LOTR, where various characters you wouldn’t think interacting would be as meaningful as they are, but the fic absolutely sells them on it.  Frodo and Feanor having a conversation about language?  Sam and Maglor sharing a boat to the West?  These things are amazing, as this is a fic about healing and what it means to sail into the Undying Lands.  Also, it has a Feanor and Fingolfin reunion that literally put tears in my eyes. ✦ Interrupted Journeys by ellisk - I’m generally not someone who does a lot of rereading of fic just because I have so many new ones to get to, but I’ve read my favorites in this series (parts 3 to 5 are my sweet spot especially) probably four times through now because “Elfling Legolas growing up in Greenwod with a whole cast of characters around him, as the Shadow so very, very slowly creeps towards them” may sound somewhat simple, but the worldbuilding here is off the scale.  The weaving in of how much the First Age and various Elven politics influenced Thranduil’s ruling of a Silvan people is a major theme, but it’s also good parents raising that precious Elfling right and he and his cousins+friends getting into all sorts of mischief, so it’s balanced between humor and drama in the exact amounts I want.  You can skip the first two fics and jump into the third if you like, which is when Legolas is introduced, but I enjoy the whole thing. ✦ Return to Aman OR Quenta Narquelion by bunn - I can’t pick between these two, they’re both incredible.  Return to Aman is basically “Elrond grabs Maglor and drags him to Aman with them” and it breaths such incredible lift into all the characters of Aman, it doesn’t negate the terrible things the Feanorians did, but neither does it negate Elrond’s love for them and his biological family, too.  It’s another fic that’s about healing and forgiveness and it made me glow to read it.  Quenta Narquelion is basically “Feanor refused the call of Mandos after he died and everything started to snowball from there” and it’s an absolutely heartbreaking look at all our Problematic Fave Feanorians and how they were once good people trying to do the best they could, but bit by bit they slipped into the dark.  It’s especially amazing for capturing the complexities of Feanor, as he hovers over his children as a spirit and it really brought me around on his character. The Silmarillion and other First Age Batshit Faves: ✦ The Starlit Sky by Cirth is the fic that really made me get the potential of reading about Maedhros and Maglor raising Elrond and Elros, where it does such a fantastic job of showing that there was genuine affection there, even the midst of all the angst and trauma and pain.  You really get why Elrond could never give up on them, after reading this fic. ✦ In Courts of Living Stone by ncfan - “What if Maeglin never left Nan Elmoth and instead, several decades later, found himself on an errand to Menegroth and developed a relationship with Finduilas instead?” isn’t a fic I expected to capture my heart, but boy did it ever.  Beautiful characterization and beautiful writing, it really captured my imagination, but also gave me ALLLLLL the Maeglin feelings, as well as made me pine that this Finduilas couldn’t have been more common in fandom. ✦ naught but the shores and the sea by ncfan is more of Elrond and Maglor, where it’s an AU that has Elrond finding Maglor after the disastrous attempt to recover the Silmarils and I loved it a lot. ✦ The Crane Wife by Trebia is one that takes an underused character from Tolkien (Lalwen, in this case) and breathes this incredible life into her, gives her personality and joy and sorrow and meaning and, look, any fic that can convince me that Thranduil would marry a Noldo and utterly believe it, you know it’s well-written! The Second Age Is Kind of Quiet in Fandom But I Love It Regardless: ✦ The Art of Long-Distance Grandparenting by Kazaera is a lovely and bittersweet (but mostly lighter in tone) fic about the separation of the Sea between family members and does a wonderful job with Idril’s character, as she tries to stay connected to her grandchildren while being so distant from them and unable to see them, unless they choose to come to Aman.  There’s joy to be found here and it’s a lovely read. ✦ Relativity by French Pony is a lovely look at the final meeting between Elrond and Elros and strikes the right amount of bittersweetness, where it’s awkward and difficult and heartbreaking, but also feels natural and like this was how it was meant to be.  I had many, many Elven Twin feelings during the whole thing.  (I like all their fic, they’re worth checking out their other stuff for, too!) ✦ A Thing or Two About Elrond by Crookneck is a series of fics about Elrond and the various relationships he has--with Celebrian, with his children, with Gil-Galad, etc.--and I remember being really charmed by all of them and how much shit Elrond has seen over the course of his life. The Third Age, Lord of the Rings Version: ✦ Boromir's Return by Osheen Nevoy - This one is sort hard to summarize, but it’s basically “Boromir lives, makes a friend, and slowly changes everything about the LOTR plot”, but it’s so much more than that, where the worldbuilding is phenomenal, the pacing is incredible, it made me fall in love with Boromir as a character all over again, it contains probably the best portrayal of Denethor I’ve ever read in fandom, and I really loved the OC and so on.  It’s utterly engrossing and honestly I cannot recommend it highly enough, even if you’re not usually into this sort of thing. ✦ The River by Indigo Bunting is a fic where Legolas and Sam get separated from the others for a brief time and I love fics that take two characters who don’t interact much, throw them into an intense situation, and sees what happens.  It’s not precisely a light-hearted fic, it’s very intense, but it’ll make you fall in love with the sheer good in both characters and the friendship they develop.  It’s brilliantly written and I cannot recommend it enough. ✦ A Bit of Rope by Aiwendiel is a fic where Gandalf doesn’t fall at Moria and it changes everything--not necessarily for the better.  The slow, creeping sense of things changing, things going just a little bit worse here and there, until you realize how much darker the Fellowship’s journey could have been, was brilliantly done, and one I thought did justice to the idea, it’s not grimdark, there’s still light and hope here, but it makes you feel like, oh, maybe things happened as they did for a reason, even as hard as that seemed sometimes.  Gorgeously plotted and utterly engrossing. The Third Age, Mirkwood Version: ✦ daw the minstrel has an entire series of fics about Legolas growing up in Mirkwood and there’s absolutely a reason why she was one of the most well-known authors in that corner of fandom.  Her ability to create new characters (including two brothers for Legolas) was incredible, I cared so much about the family dynamics and got swept up in the drama (which was in a very loving family, but Legolas was definitely a mischief-seeker) and they’re fantastic.  If you find yourself in something of a stretch with too many OCs and your attention wavers, you can always skip around, they don’t have to be read in order and a lot of the non-canon characters can be skimmed over, imo. ✦ In a Field of Blood and Stone by ScribeofArda is so much better than what The Hobbit movies gave us of the Battle of Five Armies, it does such beautiful justice to the complicated character of Thranduil and Legolas, not sacrificing the warmth there for how difficult these times are and the war they find themselves in the middle of.  This Bard is also really engaging and fun to read--I read pretty much the entire novel’s worth in, like, a day or two because I could not put this one down. ✦ Swordplay and Swimming by cliodna_bright has an incredible meeting where Thranduil comes to visit Rivendell, runs into Elladan and Elrohir, who are young enough that they speak without thinking, and it’s not precisely a humor fic, but I was screaming the entire time because it’s so sharply written and so absolutely delightful, I LOVE IT. ✦ Deep and Crisp and Even by rivlee made me fall in love with how Elves and humans may look very similar, but there’s this sense of otherworldliness to the Elves, as shown through Bard’s eyes when he has a meeting with Thranduil.  Beautifully written and just the right amount of atmospheric. The Fourth Age Where Everything Actually Does Mostly Work Out: ✦ Far Horizons by Bodkin is the Fourth Age fic of my heart, where the various Elves that we came to know in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit are all in Aman and decide to build their own realm there.  Which is difficult because Elven Politics even just amongst themselves, much less clashing with all the established politics of the other Elven realms in Aman!  But it’s a light-hearted fic (for the most part) that’s about healing and moving forward, balancing their ties to their history versus that Middle-Earth changed them, and I love it for soothing my soul.  (Thranduil sailed, you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)(Bonus moments of Glorfindel being pretty hilarious.)  I like all of bodkin’s work, but this one has a special place with me. ✦ Age of Healing by trollmela is one where Maedhros and Legolas have a conversation in Aman and it’s about the bittersweetness of healing and how difficult it is, taking two characters who would never have met in canon and weaving something entirely engaging and poignant out of it. Collections That Span The Ages: ✦ This Taste of Shadow by Mira_Jade - This is a collection of dozens of various shorter stories (or sometimes 10k “ficlets”) that you can largely skip around in if you have specific characters you like or you can just start at the beginning and read through.  It contains looks at pretty much everyone, from Maedhros to Galadriel to Thranduil to Elrond to Caranthir to Glorfindel to the Valar, etc.  I’ve enjoyed pretty much everything I’ve read in this collection! ✦ Fiondil's Tapestry and Tales from Vairë's Loom by Fiondil are in the same vein and I have really enjoyed everything I’ve read from both of them!  I especially remember that there was one chapter that had a scene between Thranduil and Cirdan and thinking, ahhhh, why has no one ever written that before!? as an example of the neat things it does.  But also lots about Elrond and Glorfindel and the Valar and so on! This probably doesn’t feel like a super extensive list, but those collection series will give you an excellent spanning of Elves, Humans, Dwarves, Hobbits, etc., not just the same central characters, but giving time to a lot of lesser focused ones as well.  Like, I feel I’ve read a fair chunk of Elwing fic, but I couldn’t point you to a specific one in my list of recs, which means I’m pretty sure it was in the collections ones or else she got some good scenes in one of the Aman-based fics, so I swear the above is at least a solid place to start for dipping one’s toe into Tolkien fic. AS ALWAYS, OTHER PEOPLE’S RECS ARE WELCOME, god knows I haven’t read anything in the last two years (and will have missed a lot even before that) and so I always need more recs, too!

[beautifultypewriter]

Misunderstanding ~ Fili

Requested: Yes / by Anonymous

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,891 (I am so sorry)

Pairing: Fili x fem!hobbit!reader

Summary: Fili has fallen in love with a hobbit and acts on some of the older dwarves’ advice on courting. What could go wrong?

A/N: I am in love with Fili, so this is exciting for me. Don’t tell the others, but he’s probably my favorite. Did my research on dwarven courting for this one, guys! Also, I’ve decided to use the bookverse timeline, so the company is in Rivendell for two weeks.

You had been pacing back and forth in front of the open door that led to the room where Balin was sitting and quietly smoking his pipe. You had hated to leave the merrymaking that Bilbo and the dwarves had gotten up to, but when you saw Balin slip away, you knew that it would be the perfect time to talk to him. You needed his advice, but you felt strange about interrupting his peaceful moment. “Are you going to come in, lass?” You jumped at the sudden sound of his voice. As your bare feet moved across the cool floor, you placed your hand over your beating heart. Balin smiled at you as you came to sit next to him, the silence of the night being broken by the faraway sounds of fun. The older dwarf stared at you, “What can I do for you, Miss Y/N.” You looked down, still searching your mind for the right words.

 “I just don’t understand.”

 Balin nodded, still smiling, “Fili?”

 Sighing, you nodded, “Yes. I didn’t mean to offend him, and I hate to think that he’s angry with me.” Balin nodded along to everything you were saying, letting you finish all of your thoughts before he started to quietly chuckle. You stared at him, your eyes widening, “Why are you laughing?”

 He waved his pipe at you, still chuckling, “He’s not mad at you, my dear.” You went to protest, but Balin cut you off, “He’s mad at himself.” He patted your hand, before looking down and speaking more to himself, “And he should be. He should have followed the advice I had given him.” Balin looked to you again, giving you a small smile, “No, no, the incident is not your fault at all. It is entirely on him.”

 The incident in question was one that happened only four days after your arrival to Rivendell…

 Having a place as lovely as Lord Elrond’s house to stay in had been the highest point of your journey with the company of Thorin Oakenshield thus far. You were given food, a comfortable place to sleep, and new clothes. You were able to rest and to let your minds and souls heal. Even though you had been here for a precious little time, you found that time most beneficial. The company, you believed, would agree with you. They had been acting more like the dwarves who had thrown a party in Bilbo’s home the night you first met them all and you could not have been happier. They played their music and told their stories and you spent most of your time nestled between Fili and Kili, clutching their arms every time you were overcome with laughter.

 It was the fourth night you spent in that lovely home when Fili approached you. He was acting a bit more timid than you had ever seen him act before and you wondered if he was alright. Before you were able to ask him any questions, though, he pulled you a little bit away from the rest of the group. He was smiling at you as he pulled something from behind his back, “This is for you.” He held out the most beautifully crafted leather sheath. You took it from him, looking it over with as much care as you know was put into making it. The swirling details moved from the bottom of the sheath and all the way through the straps. Fili watched you turn the sheath over again and run your fingertips over the carvings.

 You looked up at him and smiled, “It’s beautiful, Fili. Thank you, but,” his smile dropped as you held the gift back to him, “I am not sure what use I could put it to. I would hate for it not to be used. Couldn’t your brother or even Bilbo benefit from it?” 

Fili looked horrified as he gently took the sheath back from your outstretched hand, “My brother? You want me to give this to my brother?” He took a step back from you, “Bilbo?” Reaching out, you tried to calm him, but he only moved further away. At this point his voice had raised a considerable amount and some of the other dwarves were starting to look over at the two of you. Fili seemed not to notice, “Give this to Bilbo? Why would I…? I don’t… you don’t…” Shaking his head, he turned away from you, “Excuse me.” You watched him go, wanting to call out, but finding that you had no voice.

 When you turned to look at the company, you saw them shaking their heads and looking in the direction that Fili had just gone. Looking away from them, you quickly made your way from the room and out into the night air. You knew you had committed some dwarven faux pas and had offended your dearest friend (perhaps more than that if you were being honest with yourself) in the process.

 You looked to Balin, “Why is my offense Fili’s fault?”

 Balin turned to you, his eyebrows raised, “Your offense?”

 You huffed, “Yes, obviously I insulted your culture in some way, but it had not been my intention.” Balin laughed again and you were starting to get annoyed.

 Apparently, he could see it in your eyes because he quieted himself, “You did not offend our culture, lass. Perhaps Fili’s pride, but once again that is his own fault for not listening to me.” Now you really had no idea what was going on.

 “Listening to you about what?” Leaning forward you took Balin’s hands in your own, “What is going on? Please help me to understand.”

 Balin leaned forward and placed a quick kiss to your forehead before he smiled at you, “Fili is following traditional dwarven courting rituals.” Your eyes widened as you sat up, your back straight and your shoulders rigid. Balin only continued to smile, “I told him that you, being a hobbit, wouldn’t understand the rituals and he had better explain them to you first.” He sighed then, rubbing a hand over his forehead, “Unfortunately some of our other companions thought my advice unnecessary and convinced Fili of it too.”

 You nodded, “I see.” You felt numb. If Fili wanted to court you then that meant that he had deeper feelings for you than just friendship. Feelings that you shared, but never wanted to admit.

 Balin turned your face to his, “When you suggested giving the sheath he had made for you to Kili or Bilbo, he panicked. Deep down he knew that this was only happening because you didn’t understand, but the first thought in his mind was rejection.” You frowned. You had never meant to make Fili think that you were rejecting him or that you didn’t care about him.

 Then your eyes lit up, “Wait, he made that sheath just for me?”

 Balin nodded, “A gift for you crafted by his own hands.” You felt a wetness on your cheeks and quickly pulled your hands back so that you could wipe your tears away. Balin smiled sadly at you, waiting for you to compose yourself before continuing.

 You looked to the old dwarf, “Balin, how do I fix this?”

 “My advice will depend upon your feelings for Fili and what you wish to become to him.” He looked at you and you nodded. “When he comes to you again with a carved bead-”

 You looked down at your feet, “If he comes to me again.”

 Balin gave you a stern look, “When he comes to you, he will ask if he may put a braid in your hair. Y/N, if you accept then he will braid your hair and the two of you will be engaged to be married. If you deny him then he will know that you only desire friendship.” Balin lifted your chin, so that you were looking straight in his eyes, “Do you understand this?”

 You nodded, “Yes. Thank you, Balin.” He leaned back, his smile forming again and his pipe set against his lips. You stood up from your seat, “I have to go now.”

 He chuckled, “Aye, I know. Good luck with the lad.” You waved to him as you left the room, deciding to take a walk so you could think over everything he had just told you.

 It had only been a day since your talk with Balin and you had yet to spend any time with Fili. It seemed that he was tying to avoid you and you wondered if Balin had been correct in his assumption that Fili would try more courting rituals with you.

 You were starting to doubt it, but then you saw them. Fili was walking with Balin next to him and the two seemed to be speaking quietly to each other. You stepped behind a pillar, not wanting to listen to them, but not having the courage to leave completely. You watched as Balin finished speaking and then nodded over to you. Fili turned and gave you a nervous smile, fiddling with something in his hand. Balin patted his shoulder and left. You and Fili were alone now.

 He moved over to you, “Y/N.” He took your hand and led you over to the balcony’s railing. You looked out over the trees and the stream, not knowing how this was going to play out and becoming more nervous as the silence stretched on. Fili leaned towards you, trying to catch your eye, “Y/N, I have something…”

 You looked up at him, “Fili, about the sheath, I’m sorry.”

 Shaking his head, he waved his hand, “No, don’t.” He looked down before looking back to you, “Can I ask you something?” You nodded and he took a deep breath, “Y/N, may I put a braid in your hair?” He held his fist out, opening it to reveal a beautiful carved bead. He was holding his breath as he looked down at you as you observed the bead.

 Looking up into his eyes, you smiled and nodded, “You may.”

 His eyes widened as his breath came out in uneven bursts, “Yes?”

 You laughed as you nodded again, “Yes.” A grin broke on his face as he wrapped his arms around you, crushing you against his chest. You held him just as tightly before pulling away.

 Your voice was quiet as you spoke, “Well?” He nodded as his breath finally started to even out. His hands were shaking, but you pretended not to notice as he pulled a chunk of your hair away from your head and started crossing three sections over and under each other. When he was finished, he fastened the bead to the end of the braid before laying it against the rest of your curls. You smiled up at him as he leaned down and kissed you.

 Later that night, when you and Fili walked into the room where the company was eating and playing music, he grabbed your hand and spun you slightly so that everyone could see your braid. A loud cheer sounded as you were engulfed in a group hug by the rest of the dwarves, Kili hugging you close and shouting something about always wanting a sister. You laughed as Fili pulled you away from everyone and started spinning you around the floor as the music picked up again.

[dykeredhood]

Decided I’d answer all the Witcher-y questions that @inthishousewelovejoeybatey put together (from here)

The Trials: Would you ever become a Witcher? 

Hell yes, please load me up with herbs and mutagens – I’ll miss my pretty brown eyes, but in exchange I’ll get night vision and an even more piercing glare. I think I’m hardy enough to withstand everything they put the lil witchers through with only a minimum of shrieking

Monsters: What monster would you be?

I’d be a noonwraith – being associated with fields bursting with grain and also abducting mortals to make them dance with me until they die is enticing

Butcher of Blaviken: Have you ever been in a fight? 

Not really? I’ve had to sock a few people, like the guy who introduced himself to me at a university party and then kissed me full on the mouth. That was followed by a surprisingly coordinated right hook, since I was already pretty drunk by then. The I was at a nightclub in Scotland (hoping to head back to Sneaky Pete’s when it’s safe to travel 🙏🏼) and someone was getting far too handsy with me out on the dance floor, so I caught him with my elbow a few times across his jaw and brow bone and that put a stop to things.

Her Sweet Kiss: What was your first kiss like? 

I’m going to show restraint and hold off on putting that 3oh3! song in here. It was awkward and we were both in middle school and it was just both us fumbling all “ok I guess this is how you do this” it was also while we were at Disneyland in a Haunted Mansion doom buggy

Lute: Do you play any instruments? 

I played the flute (and piccolo) all through grade school up until university, and I actually bought myself a flute to re-learn how to play it, since that’ll be a nice hobby to engage in again

The Path: Do you like to travel? Favorite place you’ve visited?

I love traveling, and I was meant to head on trips to the east coast and down to Anaheim this year (if we didn’t have the pandemic sweep in and screw everything up there 😭). My favorite place I’ve visited has been Scotland – Edinburgh was lovely and seeing Hadrian’s Wall was fantastic (the segment of Hadrian’s Wall I visited was Birdoswald Fort though). I have a lot of fun strutting through the airport with my bootheels clicking on the hard floor and having a dirty martini at the bar before I board my plane. I did make it up to Chicago in Feb 2020 for C2E2, right before things started getting really serious with coronavirus in the US, and I’m really glad I at least got that bit of traveling in

Ballads: What’s your favorite song? 

If we wanna choose something that probably would exist in the Witcher land, I’ve been vibing to these songs:

Prickle Holly Bush/Charge of the Highland Cattle

Otherwise I’ve been recently vibing to The Wiggles, and this song really stands out, also the MCU could NEVER - Super Anto

Chaos: Do you believe in Magic? 

I’m not going to rule out the possibility of magic, but it’s not really anything I’ve observed with my own two eyes. I will encourage my plants to grow with kind words and a reminder that they all come from good hardy stock

Child Surprise: Do you want children? 

I don’t have what it takes to be a good mother – I know how to look after a child and give them good nutrition and everything, all that academic stuff. I don’t think I have the capacity/skill to be suitably nurturing toward a child, and with all that in mind, I cannot bring a new child into the world that I’m responsible for caring for when I don’t feel like I can be a well-rounded and quality parent that that child would deserve. I’m happy to be the fun auntie who’ll bring gifts of interesting candies and knives during the holidays, but I can’t be ANYONE’S mother

Destiny: Do you believe in destiny? 

No, not in the slightest. Destiny would probably have me be some man’s agreeable & repressed wife with a quaint house and a couple kids that I end up emotionally abusing because that’s all I’m goddamned used to and I cannot subject anyone to that treatment, my having gone through it is ENOUGH

Igni: Be honest, you would use Igni for simple, daily matters like warming the tub or lighting a candle, wouldn’t you?

If I had the ability to conjure up fire with my hands whenever I wanted? Absolutely – no more matches or lighters for me, we use magic now

Axii: If you could influence someone’s mind, what would you make them do/say?

I’d want to compel greasy politicians to give a shit about their subjects constituents

Otherwise I couldn’t justify controlling anyone’s mind (aside from in a kinky context but even then, I’d prefer to be the one who’s magically compelled to do things)

Speak normally: Favorite Witcher quote

The entirety of the scene where Ciri demands Geralt tell her a bedtime story (because how can she fall asleep without a story?) and even the dryad traveling with them gets invested in the story he tells about the fox and the cat.

Unbearably crotchety and cantankerous: What is your personality like?

I sure do have a lot of personality (anyone who’s met me in person can attest to this). At work I can get metallic and uptight, and outside of work it’s a little better, I enjoy snarky banter with my friends and my laugh sounds like a lumberjack (or Disney villain). To everyone’s apparent surprise, my apartment is pretty messy, but I know where the things I need are. Except for (apparently) where I put my flute, I thought I put it in a certain box and it’s not THERE. Back to my actual personality, I can be abrasive at times but I really enjoy helping my friends.

Doublet: Favorite outfit of Jaskier’s

Anything that includes his fancy plum bonnet with an egret’s feather – a hat with a flamboyant plume always gets me

The White Wolf: Favorite Geralt (Books, Games or Show)

Tbh my favorite Geralt is book!Geralt, he’s so snarky and the way he becomes the designated dad of almost everyone he meets just melts my heart (the way he met lil Ciri in the books is far superior to how they did that whole scene in the Netflix series)🫀 and I really like the Yorkshire/Scottish accent he has in the audiobooks

Geralt of Riva: Thoughts on Geralt

He is my DAD and also ME and in some instances I want to RIDE HIM (these are all separate instances and moods please do not show this to Freud). My father is a ballet dancer, he’s also really knowledgeable because he’s an engineering professor, and he doesn’t exactly have the most welcoming personality, so the comparisons there are obvious. (The School of the Wolf uses a lot of ballet inspired movements with how they train witchers how to fight, and it really stresses practicing enough to have that good technique and muscle memory in your body which is HUGE if you want to move swiftly and without injury)

Geralt’s whole exchange with Visenna where he’s upset that she knew what would happen if she (essentially) handed him over to her a Witcher and then she did it anyway really landed with me since my mother studied early childhood development and then went on to fucking give me PTSD. Geralt also canonically loves giving head and I would be all over that, let’s be real

Jaskier: Thoughts on Jaskier 

Jaskier has been overhyped by the Witcher Netflix fans — this isn’t even me being surly, it’s honestly more me being practical. I’m glad y’all enjoy his character, and Joey Batey is a great fit for the role, but here’s the damn thing: Dandelion is more of only intermittent character in the books and I love to see his antics when he shows up, but he’s just not featured as prominently as the rest of the Witcher fam. He’s such a disaster slut, and I love how he’ll be affable with everyone, becoming fast friends with the dwarves and dressing up all roguish like them. The part from the books where he acquired an assassin’s knife to stick in his belt but it keeps poking him when he bends forward so he just leaves it somewhere is charming

Yennefer of Vengerberg: Thoughts on Yennefer

I want a powerful sorceress wife. It’s sweet the way she interacts with lil Ciri, but I really don’t care for how she keeps calling her “ugly one” – even if it’s meant to be affectionate, it’s not something good for a little one to constantly be hearing.

Ciri: Thoughts on Ciri

PROTECT HER – she’s so earnest when she’s training to be a witcher at Kaer Morhen and Geralt is such a DAD and it’s really lovely (esp when she’ll run up all “praise me, Geralt!!” and then he does – it melts my heart 🥺). There’s entirely too much trauma porn involving Ciri in the books, though; I know bad and distasteful things happen in the Witcher land, but it feels excessive, especially seeing that she’s still a young woman trying to make her way in the world and all. She’s skilled and fierce and I wanna be girlfriends with her

[treatian]

The Chronicles of the Dark One: Magical Loopholes

Chapter 35:  Of Her Own Free Will

There were several entrances to the mines around town, but fortunately, David explained that the dwarves had been mining for Fairy Dust again, and he knew of all but one that was being used. When they pulled up, he knew immediately that they had the right one because of the beat-up pickup truck sitting outside of it. Moe said he'd hired someone to carry out his wishes, and the truck belonged to that individual.

He wanted to search it. He wanted to find a wallet or license or insurance card with a name on it, someone he could go after later and teach never again to do such a wretched thing, at least not without being in his employ. But there was no time for searching. The car was empty. A hand on the hood revealed it still retained some heat from being run but not by much. They were already in the mines.

"Care to tell us where to look first?" David asked, dragging Moe along by his jacket collar.

"Doesn't matter," Ruby stated before Moe had the chance to answer. "I can smell her!"

The woman took off at the pace of urgency he'd wanted David to have earlier. Once again, they followed after Ruby. He had to used magic to stabilize his leg to keep up with her, and Moe stumbled along several times, but otherwise he was pleased to observe that no one took their time as they headed down the long black and brown corridors beneath the earth.

"Oof!"

Ruby shrieked as someone ran into her and then ran away from them before they could question it. The accomplice. Running away from the scene of the crime. Alone.

Belle.

Though the Dark Ones urged him to tear after the man, he kept his eyes forward as Ruby regrouped and kept moving. He'd seen the car, caught a small glimpse of his height and weight, the stubble he sported for a beard, he'd find him later, after he had Belle back home safe and sound, after he'd told her about Baelfire, after he finally brought her into town, got her that job at the library, and this was all just a bad memory; a memory she would have because she wasn't going over that line!

"Wait, wait! Ruby, wait!" David suddenly called, reaching out to grab her around the arm as she'd been about to turn.

"She's down there! The trail keeps going!"

"Down there" and yet he saw nothing but mine and track for a mine cart. She was gone. Whatever plan had been put in place for her had already taken place. But how was she on her way over without the goon they'd seen? And why wasn't David letting Ruby go further?

"'Down there' is where the town ends, and it's not marked with a line down here. I can't be sure you'd come back as you. What, did you have her put her in a train and send her over?" David assumed, looking back at Moe.

Still, the pathetic giant of a man said nothing.

"I'm going to risk it!" Ruby muttered shaking her head and shrugging off David's grasp. "Someone's got to help her!"

"No risk required!" he roared, stepping around them. He held his breath as he sent his magic down the corridor. If she was already over the line, in the other world, this wouldn't work. But he assumed that if she were over the line, they'd hear screams of confusion, cries for help. He extended his senses down the corridor but heard nothing. Nothing but a train on its track still moving. He let his magic find that cart, find that train, the one thing moving in the space. He let out a breath when he latched on to it and tried not to let out a sob of relief as he halted the movement and then pulled it back toward him with his magic. The cart responded, he couldn't see it, but in his mind's eye he pictured it. With every second, he felt the magic he'd sent out draw closer to him, and then…suddenly, it was real. It was in front of him. He saw it. Movement.

He remained concentrated as something rounded the corner back into the corridor they were staring down. It was a minecart. Belle was sitting inside of it, looking around wildly at the unseen force that pulled her back. Behind him, Ruby muttered something, but he kept his focus on her, on drawing her closer, on the object binding her to that cart. Handcuffs. She'd been held prisoner by Regina for years, and the flunky her father had hired had handcuffed her to the cart. Aside from the trauma that would have caused, how in the hell had he expected her to get free on the other side?!

He stopped the cart in front of them, and with another jolt of magic, he overpowered the worthless lock and sent it flying from her wrist. He moved to the cart, but David was quicker. He reached inside to help her out and set her on her feet. Her heart was racing, she stunk of fear, and she was still looking around wildly as if she didn't understand where she was or what had happened. His own heart hitched. That was because of the trauma, wasn't it?

"Belle, are you all right?" he asked gently, trying to get her to focus on him, to show recognition in her eyes, to prove they hadn't been too late.

"I, uh…I think so," she breathed, looking herself over. He let out a breath. Belle…she'd recognized her name.

"You remember who I am?" he clarified.

Finally, she stopped moving to look at him, and he saw what he'd wanted to. Identification. A smile passed over her face as she nodded. "I do, Rumpelstiltskin, I remember."

Oh, he didn't think he'd ever felt so relieved in his life. He stepped forward to hold her, to wrap his arms around her and assure her that all was well now, that they were going to fix everything that had happened today.

But as soon as he did, he felt a small push against his chest. She was backing away, taking slow steps out of his grasp as she shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

She swallowed and stood tall before him. And then she looked him in the eye, and he knew just by that look exactly what was wrong before she said it. This was fine, she was fine, but their earlier argument remained.

"Thank you for what you just did. But that doesn't change that you are too cowardly to be honest with me."

"Belle, that's not-"

"I tried to tell you, Belle," her father called out behind them. "Come with me, darling-"

"After what you just tried to do to me?! You're no better, father! You don't get to decide what I do or how I feel. I do!" she shrieked before he could get a word in. Worried and rejected as he felt, it made him feel remarkably proud of her, even as she looked between the pair of them, and he knew what she was going to say before she said it. "If either of you cared about me, you would have listened."

Belle moved away then, keeping a wide berth as she moved around all of them and to the turn in the cavern where they'd just appeared before she stopped and looked back between him and her father once more.

"I don't want to see either of you again. Ever."

Her final word to them echoed off the walls of the mine and within the caverns of his own mind. The Dark Ones mocked him. They hissed and scorned him. What did he expect? Did he think he could so blatantly lie to her all these weeks, have her learn the truth the hard way, and think they'd go back to playing house again? That all would be well? That he could have a happy ending where he found Baelfire and introduced her to Belle, where they could get married, have kids, settle down, and grow old together? There was never any chance of that happening. He'd fooled himself by thinking it would, by hoping it would. His ending was never destined to be easy. For her sake, maybe it was better this way. Especially if the Seer's prophecy rang true.

She ran off down the tunnel, and Ruby quickly followed after her. After the wolf had been so protective of her earlier, he had the feeling that she'd somehow managed to make a friend who could help her in this world, someone who didn't have to go off to meet his son and then find their life "undone" by a puppet. Yes, for her, maybe it was better this way. It was better for her to be without him. But it didn't stop the ache in his chest that he was positive didn't come from his Curse.

He shifted his weight a step as he looked out to where she'd disappeared and found something uncharacteristic in his way. Instead of rocky and hard, he felt something soft and squishy beneath his foot and glanced down to inspect it.

He felt his lips part in surprise at what he found. Timidly, he swallowed and leaned down to collect it, hoping it wasn't what his twisting gut assumed it was. But the fabric felt familiar, or rather the yarn that had been made from felt familiar. It was a hat, one that he'd seen before, a long, long time ago. A hat that belonged to a man that shouldn't be alive except-

He remembered the man who had run past them on their way in, the man that he'd let go because saving Belle had been the priority. Short, stalky, stubble for a beard…with a hat knit together by a grandmother who had once summoned him and placed an untraceable spell on him much like what he'd done to Belle…the man fit the description of William Smee. The last time he'd seen the man…it had been when they'd made their deal, a deal he hadn't delivered on because Milah and the pirate had captured him. Captured him, just before they'd escaped to Neverland. If they'd taken Smee with them, that would certainly explain why he was still alive. His mouth went dry as he considered the implications of that. He'd never seen Hook in town, but if Smee were here…where was Hook?

"Gold," he glanced up from the hat to David, who stood with Moe quietly gesturing toward the exit. He glanced at Moe, then to the place Belle had left with Ruby, but instead of following the Prince out, he let his magic take him away, back to his shop.

[dirt-cup-draco]

Thorin x Reader- Stranger (2/2)

Part 1----> Ta Da Previously:

“Goodbye Thorin,” You gave your farewell. You couldn’t run after his bait anymore. But more than that, you couldn’t handle the conviction of his words. I do not need you.

“There is no use in wishing a stranger goodbye,” And with that, you knew you had lost Thorin to a fate worse than death, your memory of him shattered and reflecting a far crueler image than the one you had loved.

You packed your bags that night despite the begging of your friends. After all, there was no use in staying for someone you didn’t know anymore. 

You growled in frustration, rubbing at a stain that had become a part of the splintered bar top in front of you. The ale had stained the wood a dreary color that stood out against the rest of the polished tables that you had already gotten to. Doors had closed an hour ago and the sun was creeping up in the sky steadily. You had been handling the night shift, travelers coming from far to stay at any inn they came upon, and now it was your duty to clean before dinner began that night. You were busiest when the moon was at it’s highest point in the sky. 

“You’re going to rub the poor counter into dust if you keep going at it like that,” Came the charming voice of your employer. He was a handsome human, one that hadn’t asked questions when you had arrived at the inn one late night, eyes puffy and red from tears, and asked if he had an opening. Within a week, you had lodging in one of his free rooms and you were working every night. After being removed from the life you had known you felt like you had been drowning and he had tossed you a line, pulling you back to steady land. 

“Njal, I suspected you to be with one of the working women,” You said in surprise, usually the man’s large build and easy charm had him sharing someone’s bed for the night. Oftentimes you didn’t see him until the crowds piled in, demanding a warm hearth to rest their feet in front of and barrels of ale. 

“Why lay with a woman I do not know when I can be in the company of a beautiful woman I do know?” He flirted easily, flashing his teeth and sending you a wink. You rolled your eyes, a small smile playing on your lips as your stomach did little flips. Njal was attractive, and kind. You found yourself wishing that you could share the affection he had for you but every time you entertained it, a deep guilt ate at your stomach until you felt sick.

Njal had blue eyes, as clear and beautiful as the sky on a cloudless summer day. His sandy blonde curls sat atop his head, cropped short around his ears. He was handsome, but you couldn’t help but nitpick. His eyes weren’t like the color of the sky during a storm, deep and dark and so gorgeous you felt rocked to your core. His hair wasn’t unruly and long with braids that told of history and triumph and ancestors. He was handsome but the main factor simply happened to be that he wasn’t Thorin. 

You pretended to look around the inn, a sly smile on your lips that you hoped was closer to that of a mother scolding her child. Njal was near your age but he appeared to be incredibly weightless, no burdens and loss had weighed him down yet. He was a good looking man with a successful inn and nothing could bring him down. You on the other hand felt the weight of the world bearing down on you more and more with each rise and fall of the sun. “I don’t see anyone else here, have you been drinking on the job again?” 

“Forever a tease,” Njal groaned dramatically as you polished the glasses. He took a seat across from you, the bar acting as the physical barrier that aloud you to converse easily. You didn’t do well when Njal touched you. It was always warm and welcome, something you could get used to but something you could never get used to. You wouldn’t allow yourself to. You loved Thorin and he may be a stranger now but one day he would wake up and remember himself and he’d come for you, you wouldn’t move on. 

“Who is he?” Njal’s voice softened, his form hunched over to appear smaller. You knew he did it to help put you at ease. His size could be intimidating even if you knew him to be a teddy bear. 

“Pardon?” You paled, forcing iron support into your voice as your knees shook behind the counter. 

“Who is the man that damaged your heart so badly that I can’t see anything other than pain in your eyes when I look at you?” 

“He is no man,” You laughed mirthlessly, flashing Njal a sad smile as you set another glass down. Rounding the bar top you sat beside him, a pitying smile curling the edge of his mouth up. “How did you know?” 

“I’m no stranger to heartbreak,” 

“You seem to fall in love with a new stranger every day,” You teased, hardly believing that the cheerful man before you could know of the constant ache your heart possessed. 

“Which means that I lose someone I love every day,” He shot back but he was smiling gently and it warmed you from head to toe. Njal was a good man and you would be glad for the day that someone made an honest man of him. “But what was he if he was no man?”

“A dwarf,” You mused. “A stubborn, infuriating, courageous fool that I will love until the sun burns out,” 

“He does not feel the same?” Njal pondered, trying to piece together your painful history. 

You took a steadying breath, tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. “I lost him to illness, but my feelings have not changed once,” You knew Njal would presume your dear Thorin dead, and some days you did as well, but it was a sickness of the mind and not of the body. Lost in thought, Njal let you remain there as he finished cleaning the glasses. 

--

The battle had been won. Thorin Oakenshield and his company, give or take five-hundred dwarves, two-hundred Lake men, and a thousand elves, had held steadfast against the orcs, wargs and goblins. Many had been lost and when Thorin looked out over the battlefield, corpses speckling the earth in a wide range of wreckage and slaughter. Suddenly, his empire didn’t seem so grand. It was a victory in many ways, he had back the home of his ancestors and the glory that came with it, but how could you compare that to the lives of the soldiers who had fought beside him,the ones who had fought for him? 

Balin had rounded up the company, and Thorin’s knees grew weak at the sight of his nephews. Blood stained and eyes closed tight, they leaned against each other for support. “Fili, Kili,” His voice came out gruff but it came from the surge of emotion that rippled through his chest. 

The boys opened their eyes, the usual brightness dimmed by what had taken place. They seemed to understand the violent emotion surging up in their uncle because they stood on protesting limbs, rushing forward to embrace the man they had followed without question. They had turn into strong and able dwarves right before his eyes and he couldn’t be more proud. 

“Let us tend to our wounded and rest, we will celebrate in the days to come,” Thorin instructed. Dwalin was being kept upright by Balin and looked as if he would collapse with one more step, ever the valiant warrior he was the first one to step towards the lonely mountain. Oin, Gloin, Bofur and Bombur all trailed after, bowing their heads in regards to their King. Ori, Nori, Dori and Bifur talked amongst themselves, eyeing those they recognized as they sent up silent prayers. Bofur remained beside the young princes as they took everything in. 

Thorin wandered on his own, mind slowing down. Now that the threats were gone it seemed that another danger had made itself present. His own thoughts were peaking up from where they had taken refuge as his battle instincts had taken over hours before. The memories of battle faded as he walked past the wounded and the resting, the stone pillars bore down on him as he made his way to his bedroom. 

No candles were lit, the hearth empty. The cold of night began to creep in and he sighed. He could very well light the candles and start a fire but without you there, he knew he wouldn’t feel any of the warmth. Nothing could ease his aching bones and wild mind quite like you could, What was he to do when you were absent and the cause behind his crazed thoughts? 

“You could go to her,” Came Fili’s voice and Thorin realized too late that he had failed to close the door after entering his room. His heir was leaning against the frame, appraising him with a wisdom that Thorin hadn’t seen before. 

“It would be no use, she left without telling me her whereabouts,” Thorin sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed as his legs gave out from underneath him. The thought of never seeing you again, not knowing if you were okay, was steadily killing him and he was far too exhausted to linger on such things. 

A yellowed envelope appeared, pinched between Fili’s fingers as he waved it tauntingly at his uncle. Your inky scrawl spelled out his nephew’s name and Thorin’s heart panged with a deep jealousy. “It arrived two days ago. Read it,” Commanded Fili with a stern tone that Thorin realized the young man had gotten from him. He would make a king of him yet. 

“I-I... It is not my business-” Thorin dropped his heavy coat from his shoulders, dropping his head in his hands. News of you, words of your safety straight from your hand written on a letter that was less than three steps away from him. And yet, he remained seated. He went into battle fearlessly but he was a coward when it came to you. 

“She is your one,” Fili pointed out, “Will you leave her on her own when you could offer her the world?” 

“You know as well as I that Y/N can take the world for herself...” 

“I am not saying she is weak uncle, I am simply saying that you two are stronger together,” 

“Yet I turned her away when I was at my weakest,” Thorin muttered, a bitter taste in his mouth. “After all that has been said and done, what makes you think that she could come back to me?” 

“She speaks of you,” Fili shrugged, strolling into the room and placing the letter he had received on his uncles desk. “And they are not the words of a woman scorned, they are the words of a woman in love. Don’t let your pride get in the way this time Uncle,” 

Thorin rested his chin on the peaks of his fingertips, eyes burning a hole into the opened letter. Torn between opening it and leaving it there, Thorin couldn’t fall back onto his bed and sleep. It would be a long night. 

--

“Njal!” You hollered, hand on your hip as you balanced a tray full of ale above your head as people moved about you and chatter buzzed about the room. “Get that poor girl out here or you’ll have a trampled employee!” 

You watched as your employer pulled away from the young waitress he had hired the day before, she had already fallen victim to his charms and he had her pressed against the wall near the staircase, his lips glued to hers and her hands threaded in his curls. You rolled your eyes but fought off a smile, something told you that Njal had finally found someone special. Weeks had passed since your conversation and you were glad to see him with someone you hoped would care for his heart. 

The girl, Sigrid, joined you with an apologetic smile and cheeks burning red. “Sorry, miss,” 

“It’s quite alright-” You began but the doors to the inn opened and your eyes naturally followed the creak of the door that meant more patrons. You were about to groan in thinly veiled frustration but the breath was stolen from your lungs as a familiar form stood in the entrance, cloak drawn up over his head but eyes burning within the shadows. 

You could feel Sigrid’s eyes following you but the volume of the room vanished, your heart bursting and blood pounding in your ears. The tray grew unstable in your hand, limbs weak as it tumbled, glasses tumbling to the floor. Njal weaved through the crowd, confusion knitting his eyebrows to the wrinkled space between his eyes. “Y/N?” He asked, a concerned lilt to his voice as you stood unmoving, the figure in the entrance not having budged. Njal shook your shoulder, trying to draw your attention to him. 

“Lets get you out of the heat, love” Sigrid cooed, having abandoned her job for the moment as both she and Njal tried to lead you away. You shook free from their grasp and you shoved through the throngs of people. 

“You son of a bitch!” You cried out, stalking towards Thorin who stood with a stony expression. For a moment, he feared you would strike him. Yet you stumbled on your last step, the weight of all you had been put through crushing you as you fell into his waiting arms. 

Thorin used your momentum to pull his cloak around your quaking shoulders. Your body was limp in his hands but you wrapped your arms tight around his neck, pulling him tighter against you when he had believed you would shove him away, spit at him, scream, anything other than hug him back. “I know darling, I know,” He cooed and he felt your tears hot against his tunic. 

“I’ve been waiting for so long,” You choked out, fingers tugging at his hair. If it hurt, Thorin didn’t say anything. 

“I’m here now,” Was all he could think to say. 

“This is him then?” Came a disruptive voice and Thorin nearly drew his sword. 

You were steadily pulling away, untangling yourself from Thorin’s longing embrace. This had been the moment you had been waiting for and yet you were ending it too soon because of another man’s voice. Had you found someone else? He had left the day after his conversation with Fili but it had taken him weeks to arrive to the inn you had mentioned in your letter. 

“Yes,” You laughed gently, the back of your head bobbing up and down in agreement. 

“He came as you said he would,” The large human man smiled, pressing a too familiar kiss to your cheek and Thorin scowled, stepping forward in a show of possessiveness. He had lost you, pushed you away, and now he never wanted to let go or lose sight of you. 

“Easy boy,” You sniffled, looking over your shoulder to give Thorin a smile. It was the first one that had reached your eyes since arriving in Erebor. “This is Njal,” 

“I read of him,” Thorin nodded, finding your hand and interlacing his fingers with yours. “Thank you,” Thorin finally addressed Njal, somewhat hesitantly, hand stretched forward in gratitude. 

“No need for thanks,” Njal chuckled good-naturedly. “I’d be in all sorts of trouble with Y/N here, best waitress I’ve ever had,” 

You flushed a deep red. 

“Can I convince you to stay?” Njal teased but you could tell by the saddened smile he gave you that he was preparing to say goodbye. You were now tucked neatly against Thorin’s side and you were automatically relaxing, he felt like home and you were so very homesick. It took some effort to reach out and squeeze Njal’s hand as you looked to Thorin for confirmation. 

“I think it’s time for me to go home,” You teared up and Njal fought his own emotions as Sigrid rubbed his bicep comfortingly while the rest of the inn buzzed around you. 

You went to the room in which you had been staying, Thorin following a couple minutes later. “What did he say?” You asked over your shoulder as you tossed dresses and shawls into the singular bag you had taken when you had left your dwarf. 

“That I am a dead dwarf if you ever show up at his inn again with tears in your eyes,” Thorin mused, grabbing a knickknack you had received from a happy go lucky patron some odd days ago. A clear stone, maybe a jem of some sort but nothing rare, that reflected the sun’s rays across your bedroom in fanficul patterns. 

“I hope to visit, but I doubt that it will every be under the same circumstances from whence I arrived,” There was a question that settled between you and Thorin and he wasn’t foolish enough to miss it. Will this ever happen again? Can I trust that you are the dwarf I promised myself to?

Thorin settled his hands on you hips, stealing your attention away as he brushed his lips feather-light against your temple. “I too doubt that. Now let us go home , kidhuzurâl,” My mind and heart are clear and never again will I abandon you, my golden one. 

You two would have the weeks long trip to fall in love again, to fight and to cry, to ask all the questions that had plagued you since parting, and to remember why you never wanted to part again. Despite what was bound to come, you looked into Thorin’s familiar and loving eyes. 

The ill stranger that had taken root in his mind was gone. Finally, you were home. 

Tag List: @angelinathebook @thehumanistsdiary

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Multi-Dimensional pt. 2

The Company x Reader

Trigger warning: reference to past domestic/animal abuse

Really angsty but funny at the beginning.

@barbar126​

So when you finished your little '10 minutes alone in your house' test, you were actually pleasantly surprised to see everyone sitting around your living room and enjoying their tea and food without a fuss. They hadn't even taken their weapons back, and nothing was broken either. 

After that, you realized that things were probably going to go well and you can afford relax a bit. Plus... free labor. 

Around 5 or so days pass by without much incident (of course showing them how to use the bathroom was awful since they didn't seem to grasp the fact that the water just comes out of the showerhead and they don't need to fill anything... and that the water could actually be warm if they waited for 10 damn seconds).

You made the mistake of not telling the 'dwarf' known as Dwalin to wait while you got everything set up, and when you turned he had already been half-naked. 

Suffice to say, you screamed so loud that a bunch of those 'dwarves' came running over with weapons drawn and everything. 

You're going to have to make a spray bottle and spritz them when they pull out their pointy things like that, but only after you're 100% sure they won't shank you for it. 

The first time they saw your barn full of horses, cows, goats, and some sheep they were excited, and when they saw your aquarium room with all your fish and the terrariums with your snakes and turtle that you pet sit, they were a little more nervous. 

The youngest, who you know to be Ori, had asked if the reptiles would eat them, but you only smiled and said, "Not unless I tell them too." You can't actually make them attack the dwarves, but it's best to keep them on their toes. 

You decided to 'employ' all of them to help you take care of the animals, though you don't really need it, and may I say that the sight of your tiny hamsters, rabbit, and turtle being held in big 'man' hands is probably the cutest thing you've ever seen. 

Yeti has also betrayed you, for he has fallen in love with that blond 'hobbit' known as Bilbo, and will only listen to him. If you had known Yeti would drop everything and have an affair the moment you turned your back, you would've sent them away (not really). The first time Yeti refused to come to you while he was snuggling the small hobbit shattered your heart. The betrayal shot through you like a poison arrow and spread throughout your whole body, leaving nothing in its wake other than sorrow and pain. 

You got called dramatic for that. 

"Fine! I don't need you anyway, Yeti! I've got Copper!" You cried, much to the amusement of your guests. 

To be honest, you act like a total nut job with the sole purpose of bringing some joy into their everyday lives... and to keep them underestimating you in case things go south. 

The quieter Balin seemed to take to your cat Butterscotch immediately, and now you rarely see him without ole Scotch in his lap. Your other two cats Midnight and Mittens were a little less pleased to have so many people around them, but they tolerated the dwarves and eventually got to petting terms with them. 

The brothers Fili and Kili (you keep mixing them up, you're ashamed to admit) seemed to like your rabbit and hamsters the most. After you showed them how to feed the little fluffy boi's and how to open their cages, you often found them walking around holding them in their arms. It's very cute.

Thorin, the leader of this entourage, acts like he doesn't care for any of them, but you saw that bastard feeding Copper scraps under the table when he thought you weren't looking. And, apparently, Mittens kinda likes him which is interesting. 

It's been only 5 days, but you found yourself becoming fond of the lot of them rather quickly, and they to you (though you don't know that).

You have two spare bedrooms with medium-sized beds, the love seat, long couches, and a chair in your living room, and a small couch in your bedroom too. You decided that moving the couch out to one of the other guest bedrooms would be beneficial, but it'll take some time so you were postponing it. 

Now is as good of a time as any, you suppose. 

You had been feeding your fish with Nori and Ori, and when the inspiration to move the couch hit you, you handed them the shaker and said, "Be careful not to overfeed them, otherwise they will explode and I will cry." You make your way to the door and pause, "A lot." 

With that, you leave toward the stairs, and Copper rises from his spot next to Thorin (you feel weird not saying Mr. before) to follow after you. 

"Oh, here's my good little boy!" You kneel down and squish his fluffy face, making over-exaggerated smooching noises as you kiss the top of his head and his snout, "Who's a good boy? Who's my good boy!?" You ask in a baby voice, scratching his back and petting him all over. His tail wags excitedly as you smother him in affection, and it only makes your heart melt, "You would never betray mommy, no you wouldn't! You wouldn't ditch me for a hobbit, would you baby? Oh, I love you." smooch, "so," smooch, "much!" You kiss the top of his head one more time, then stand back up with a bright smile on your face. 

Someone clears their throat behind you, so you turn and see the majority of the intruders standing behind you. Some of them look amused, a few disturbed, and others are actually laughing. 

"What?" You ask indignantly, feeling your face heat up from embarrassment. You forget that there are others in the house who aren't use to your animated way of talking to your babies.

"You have quite an interesting way of speaking with your animals." Mr. Thorin asshole Oakenshield states (he's actually a pretty nice guy). 

You can't even help the violent blush from spreading across your cheeks, "D-Don't talk to me like that!" You exclaim, pouting rather childishly. "Copper! Attack!" You yell, pointing in his general direction.

A few of them stiffen, but Copper just kinda lazily ambles over and sits down in the middle of the dwarves, making you gasp dramatically. There's some more laughter, and while you knew Copper wouldn't actually attack them, it did nothing to ease how flustered you are like you thought it would. 

You throw your arms up in the air in defeat and yell exasperatedly, "Fine! Have fun laughing while I put small animals in your things!" You don't wait around to see how they react and instead walk up the stairs and head to your room to begin moving the couch.

There's some murmuring that you can hear down below. 

"Did we actually offend her?" Someone whispers.

You don't know their voices well enough to decipher who is who, yet, but their conversation actually warms your heart a bit. 

"We didn't, did we? I only found it to be slightly amusing, and cute..." Another voice states. 

"Yeah, it was cute, t-the dog I mean..." 

Ooh, they think you're cute. Nice. 

You decide that you should stop eavesdropping and go ahead and start moving the couch. Or try at least. 

At first, you try pushing it, but the carpet simply doesn't allow for it, so you instead try to pull it, but that doesn't work either. Then, you crouch down and manage to lift it slightly from the ground, and so you, still gripping the gap beneath it, slowly walk back with it a few steps. You only manage to make it about 3 feet before you have to take a breather though. 

You do that 4 more times, and eventually, you make it to the still-open, door. Once you get it there you stop and lean against it, panting quietly from the exertion. 

For about a minute you stand there, and once you've caught your breath somewhat you lean back down and lift it as much as you can again and begin dragging it backward. You make some grunting noises from your effort and breathe out loudly when you drop it 2 feet later, standing up straight since the position is making your back hurt. 

You bury your head in your hands and groan dramatically, "I'm a failureeeee!"

"Are you okay?" Someone says behind you suddenly. 

You turn your head a bit and see one of the brothers, the brown-haired one, Kili you think (or was it Fili?), on the stairs looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, so you drop your hands back to your side. 

"Just peachy. Do you need help with something?" You ask, wiping your hands on your jeans. 

He shakes his head no, then glances at the heavy couch you're trying to move. "No, but it looks like you do." 

You look down at the couch, then back at him and shake your head, "No, no I've got this. I've just gotta bring it across the hall over there." You point towards the end of the catwalk, but your resolve diminishes slightly when you realize just how far it is. Of course, you don't retract your denial since you don't want to look stupid. "All good over here." 

You turn your back to him again and go back to your little system of lifting it slowly, pulling it back a few feet, then dropping it. 

Honestly, it's painful to watch. 

He then asks again, "Are you sure... you do not need help?" 

You shake your head 'no' and don't bother turning or answering verbally this time (definitely not because you're out of breath), instead you just do the same process again and finally pull the damn thing all the way through your door. 

"S-See? I've got it all under control!" You look over at him with a weary and very unconvincing smile. Damn, you don't even believe it yourself. 

"Hey Fili, come here!" He calls suddenly, not acknowledging your assurance that you're all good. 

Oh great, now they're gonna watch you fail together and make fun of you. 

You huff indignantly and turn away, moving to pick it up again and, hopefully, arrive at your destination before you can be embarrassed anymore today. 

Heavy footsteps ascend up the stairs and you groan internally, but continue nonetheless.

"What is it?" You hear him ask Kili (now you've got it), "Oh, uh, what is she doing?" 

You do your best to tune them out and just go about your business. When you drop the couch this next time, though, you kinda just stand there for a moment and wait for your back to stop hurting. 

A voice then pipes up next to you, "Allow us." 

You look down at the blond dwarf with surprise, not having heard him approach, "Um, I don't know if you'll be able to..." Your eyes drift over to Kili (you know that's his name for sure this time) who is at the opposite end of the furniture, and when he lifts it, it goes up much higher than what you managed. 

How is that even possible? They're smaller than you are! In height, at least... Okay, actually maybe it does make sense since, as stated 5 days ago, these bitches are thicc👌.

"Okay." You don't see the point in arguing any further and just step out of the way (plus you hate physical labor), watching as they carry the whole couch to the other room in record time. Now you just feel silly, having so adamantly refused any assistance when the job effort was cut in half in literal seconds. 

After a few moments of just standing there, you follow and go into the room, seeing that they've already placed it in a free space in the room. 

"Is this alright?" Kili asks, looking over at you with a slightly smug expression. 

You just nod dumbly, looking between them and the couch a few times, "I don't...," you pause before you finish that thought, squinting at the couch, "Move it a little to the left." 

They do just that, and when it's done you smile brightly, "Looks good. Thank you." 

Fili opens his mouth to say something, but a loud knock on your door and barking from Copper and Yeti silences him. 

You spin around on your heel and look downstairs frantically at the entrance, seeing a distorted figure through the wavy glass of your front door. Your eyes go wide, and you turn back to the two brothers, "Don't go outside!" 

You then race downstairs, the two following close behind, and wave everyone looking at the door over to you, "Go hide over there," you point to an area out of sight from the front door. You smile and say, "Good boys!" out of habit, but another knock keeps you from getting embarrassed.

You start to run over to the door, but pause and run back to say, "And don't leave this area. I don't know who's here." 

A louder knock resounds throughout your main room, and you yell, "I'm coming! Just give me a moment!" Once they're all hidden away, you make your way over and open the front door. 

Your face falls immediately, "Erick... what are you doing here?" Suddenly all the confidence and joy washes out of you, leaving nothing but a barren wasteland of confusion and dismay.

The man at your doorway, Erick, looks down at you with a blank stare, then down at your dogs. A smile comes to his face and he says, "Hey, Copper! I've missed you, buddy!" 

Copper doesn't go up to him, instead he growls a bit and you feel satisfied about it. Yeti just turns away and goes to where everyone else is hiding, no doubt to look for Bilbo.

Erick steps forward a bit and goes to pet him, but you snap, "Hey! Leave him alone. What do you want?" 

When you ask what he wants, he steps back out onto the patio and glares at Copper briefly before looking back at you, "I just came by to see Copper, is all. He's my dog too you know." 

His words make your blood boil, but you try to keep your cool and instead shake your head, "No, the moment you raised your hand to him he was no longer your dog. And I doubt you made a trip all the way here just to see him. Just tell me what you want so I can get back to my day." 

His fists clench at his sides and you unconsciously flinch but maintain eye contact. "Fine, you're right. I came to take him back home with me."

"What?" You ask incredulously, looking down at Copper's sweet face, then back up at him. "Yeah, no way, he's my fucking dog." 

"Yes way, he was our dog, and being as I bought him for you and paid all his bills before you began this worthless animal sitting shit, I have more of a right to him than you." His voice sounds so smug, and his smirk makes you sick to your stomach

"You only bought him for me because you needed something to make me stick around." You argue, "Why are you doing this now? Why not last week? Or tomorrow? Or literally any other time? Why did you have to come by without even calling me in advance?" 

He crosses his arms and leans forward intimidatingly, purposefully looming just to unnerve you, "Because I want my dog back." 

Oh, you know exactly what he's doing. Copper is precious to you in more ways than one, and after your not so great breakup with this slimy bastard, he looked for every way to piss you off and fuck you over. You can't count on two hands how many times he threatened Copper's well-being just to force you to do something. He thinks that by taking Copper now he can psych you out and make you come back to him. And, well, he probably can, but there's no way you're going to just give Copper to him. 

"Over my dead freaking body." You snap back, crossing your arms much like he did, "I can pay you back for everything in cash, but he's not going anywhere with you." 

"Yes, he is. I've got the receipts to prove it too. Give him to me or I take you to court." 

Oh, this fucker. 

"Then fucking take me to court!" You stand your ground and shake your head, taking a calming breath so you don't explode, "Why can't you just leave us alone? Copper is my dog, I love him so much, and you know that! I'm sorry I broke up with you and it hurt your feelings, but you have to leave him out of this! Isn't there something else I can give you? Like my money?" 

"Well... I suppose I can make this all go away." He suddenly says, a smirk curling upon his lips and he leans down slightly.

You don't dare hope that he's going to say something rational. "How?" 

"Just let me take you out on one more date, I'll show you that I'm not that guy anymore." He attempts a 'sweet' and 'apologetic' smile, but you can see right through him, "I didn't even mean to hit him anyways." Just as you expected. 

You lean back when he gets closer and your nose scrunches up distastefully. "Um, yeah, you didn't mean to hit him because you meant to hit me, or did you forget about that? I'm not going anywhere with you. End of discussion." At this point, you've completely forgotten about the 14 people hiding not 20 feet away. You're just so damn angry you can't even think straight. 

"Then I'm going to take him back home with me. And if he happens to get out and run into the middle of the road... well, my dog door doesn't lock, as you know." 

You recoil at his hateful, disgusting words and feel a spark of emotion shoot through you, "I w-won't let you take him. He's been through enough because of you!" In a way you're expressing your own frustrations through Copper, speaking about him in a way that conveys what you're actually feeling too. "Please, Erick just leave us alone. I can pay you back for the things you got him, that way you haven't lost anything." 

"Except for you." He tries to sound disappointed and regretful, but you know he isn't. He isn't. "You know I love you..." 

For a split second you almost believe him, but you shove that trust away as soon as it appears. It took you a long time to get to where you are today, and you're not about to relapse and start forgiving him again now. "You don't love me, Erick, you love to control me. I left, and that's your fault!"

"If you won't get back with me, then give me Copper and I'll leave you alone." 

Great, an ultimatum. 

Yes, having this prick leave you alone for good would be wonderful, but sending that innocent fluff ball with him is a death sentence. You don't know what he did to him when you weren't home if he did anything at all, but you loathe the thought of Copper being at his mercy (mostly because he has none). 

Copper was the only ray of light in your dark life then. He was your only solace, your beacon of hope, and your only ally when Erick made you drive everyone else away. In some ways, you'd first die then part with him. 

"No! I already said I'm not going to give him to you! You only gave him to me so you could use him against me anyways! You don't love him, and you don't love me. You're crazy."

He glares daggers into you but doesn't reply to that. Then steps to the side and whistles, "Copper, come here." 

Copper's ears twitch, but he doesn't move to get up. He's scared. 

When Copper doesn't move Erick begins to step inside, but you get in front of him and glare up at him, "Hey! You can't come in here, Erick!" 

He doesn't move at first, clearly not having expected you to stand up to him physically like that. 

"This doesn't have to be difficult, Y/N. Just give me his leash and we'll be on our way." 

"Over. My. Dead. Body!" You repeat, reaching back to push Copper away a bit and urge him to run off. 

"That can be arranged." He hisses, a dangerous glint gleaming in his eyes.

"Hey, g-get away from me!" You shrink back and start to step away, but he reaches up and grabs your wrists, causing you to physically cringe when his skin meets yours. "D-Don't touch me!" You cry in alarm, hearing some shuffling from the very place you hid your new friends. The new friends that you instructed not to come out. Copper stands up when you start to shout and he barks at Erick, but he only ignores your good little floofer and shakes you a bit.

"You were so much better when you listened!" He snaps, releasing one of your hands to grab your face in a bruising grip.

"Stop!" You yell louder, voice slightly muffled and intended for both him and the no doubt distressed dwarves and hobbit. One of your knees comes up almost on its own, and though it doesn't quite hit it's target, it does hit his stomach. His grip on you loosens, so you wrench your wrist from his grasp and shove him backwards out your door, causing him to land on his butt on the wood deck. 

"Did you really just do that?!" He screams, staggering to his feet with murder in his eyes as he moves to come back inside. "You're gonna fucking wish you-"

He reaches towards you, but you slam the door on his fingers before he can come any closer or finish his threat. A loud cry of pain comes from in front of you, but you slam your door instead of going to look. You turn all the locks quickly and step back from it, tripping over your own feet and falling on your butt much like he did when he starts to bang on your door from the other side. 

"Give me that damn dog, Y/N! I will get a judge involved! I'll sue you for assault and robbery!" 

He continues to scream and break things outside your door, and at some point you wrap Copper up in a tight hug, sniffling softly from a mixture of both relief and fright. 

Erick screams every curse in the book. He screams violent threats against your animals, describing what he's going to do if he ever get's his hands on them, all the ways he's going to hurt you. How he wants you to die, and how he'll kill you if you ever cross paths again.

You don't know how long he goes at it, yelling these hateful and threatening things at you and your poor animals, but eventually, he quiets. With one final kick at your door and exclamation about how he's going to get you for this, he leaves. 

Your heart is beating rapidly in your chest, and you're unable to move for a little bit until Copper's cool nose presses against your cheek gently. 

He's shaking (or maybe that's you), you notice, so you stroke his head gently and mumble, "Hey, it's okay sweetheart... It's okay." You don't know if he can understand you, but your voice seems to calm him regardless. Despite being slightly traumatized, you're actually a little proud of yourself for standing up for yourself and Copper like that. 

More shuffling registers from behind you, but you don't turn to look. You don't want them to see your tears, even if you consider them your friends. People are horrible, and when they see someone like you as you are now they either pity you needlessly, or see someone they can take advantage of. And you're done being taken advantage of.

You just continue to sit there on the ground, hugging Copper's fuzzy head to your chest while you whisper comforting things to him, sniffling occasionally while you wait for your violent trembling to cease. 

A few minutes pass of complete silence, you could probably hear a fly landing on something with how quiet it is. There is nothing you loathe more at this moment then having to face the people behind you, but you stand up anyways. 

"Miss Y/N?" 

Ah, you recognize that voice. It's the hobbit Bilbo, and it sounds like he doesn't know what to say.

You ignore him calling your name and just dance around the topic and try to make a joke out of it by stating, "W-Well that was awkward, wasn't it? I didn't think this is how our day would go." You don't turn to face them, shoulders stiff while you look at Copper's sweet face and try to keep your tears at bay, "I... I don't feel so good all of a sudden. I think I'm going to retire early tonight." Your voice is soft and weak, heavy from crying, and you just feel humiliated all around (especially at the way your voice breaks when you attempt a laugh).

You turn slowly and force a smile, one much too bright and cheery to be paired with your puffy eyes and heart-wrenchingly frail demeanor. "H-Help yourself to my kitchen." 

You cannot stand the expressions on their faces, even the half-deaf one heard everything, so you turn your gaze down to your feet and, without another word, make a bee-line for the stairs and practically run up them with Copper and Butterscotch on your heels. Even Yeti follows after you. "Good night!" You rush out before slamming your bedroom door, avoiding the same 14 pairs of eyes still trained on you. 

If you had taken a little longer to look at them, you would've seen more than pity though. Some of them held anger, some looked sad and empathetic, and some were simply shocked or upset themselves. They've seen nothing but the strong-willed and funny part of you, so seeing that... 

It seems that your distress has affected the mood of this company quite a bit more than you realize. 

[medicinemane]

9, 10, 11 and 14 for the hobbit ask! (hope that's not too many for you)

This ended up quite long because I'm longwinded, so I'm putting it under the cut

I wanted to say thank you though, and it wasn't too many at all, though it might have ended up with way more than anyone would want to read

I think though that I'll answer 14 here though. I've already written everything else and found it extremely long, but I think this one I can answer quickly enough to fit here

14) What are my favorite hobbit poems or songs?

I think that one has to be Roads Go Ever On, just because I was singing the little bits I remembered quietly as I was walking around in the middle of the night a few weeks back. It's just a very good poem, and I think if it's the one I was choosing to actually sing a bit of in a public space even if no one was around there's a pretty good chance it's one of my favorites

Anyway, thanks again for the questions, I hope you're having a good day

Ok, so 9 and 10 are what is my favorite version of Bilbo and Frodo respectively, and I'll be honest even when I was looking at this before reblogging it I was really confused as to what that meant, because they mention if you don't feel strongly about either just say if you like the book or movie versions better (book for both). So I'm not sure what they'd mean by version

Which is why I'm going to answer a different question and say my favorite moments for both (I'm happy to answer "Your favorite version of Bilbo?" too if someone can explain it to me)

9) With Bilbo after Smaug leaves and they're starting to explore the place still unsure if he'll come back or not, Bilbo finds the Arkenstone. He picks it up in part because of it's captivating beauty and in part because he knows how badly Thorin wants it and that it might be useful to hold on to

Conflict rises between Thorin and the men of Laketown and elves of Mirkwood because Thorin is unwilling to part with a single piece of gold to repay the help he received (particularly from Laketown which among other things was destroyed while killing Smaug and there by securing Thorin's hoard of treasure)

Bilbo sneaks out and freely gives the Arkenstone to the men and elves so they can barter for the treasure they need and in many ways deserve to help rebuild. He does this despite finding the Arkenstone beautiful. He does this despite the fact he will almost certainly be forfeiting all his claim to any treasure and losing his friendship with the dwarves. He does this and asks nothing in return

10) Frodo I don't know as well just because I'm rereading things and I'm only at the beginning of Two Towers, so a lot of his character comes after where things are fresh for me

One of my favorite things so far though has been how much he cares for his uncle. As soon as Bilbo goes away he misses him and sometimes wonders if he should have gone with him. The whole journey from the Shire to Rivendell he is thinking about his uncle and wondering where he might have gone and if he'll ever see him again

When he wakes up in Rivendell after all the suffering and pain of being stabbed by a Morgol blade and only barely surviving the ride, after he's talked with Gandalf about what happened and why, the last thing he wonders before he goes back to sleep is where Bilbo is (not knowing that he's finally ended up in the exact same place as his uncle)

I just really like that relationship, and I think it speaks to who he is that even after something horrible some of the most important things to him are where the people he cares about are and how they're doing

11) What's my favorite aspect of hobbit culture?

I actually answered all these things as I was falling asleep last night, and you got to hear what I thought on those last two, but I forget what I thought on this one so I'll have to think up something new (which is a shame because I feel like I had a good answer)

Actually maybe this exact moment I'm starting to remember, because I remember thinking about how for some reason I've found I really don't enjoy working with powered things (even like lawnmowers), but I do like handtools and push mowers and such a lot

So I think one of the things I like best is both how much work is personally done by hobbit hands, but also the fact they take their time with things and enjoy themselves instead of pushing to make everything the most productive it could be

They work, and they're productive, and they get quite a lot done, but they don't live to work. Sometimes they work because the task is enjoyable like gardening, sometimes they work because they want what they'll get when they're done like a harvest, or to have brewed some ale, or a house; but it's not that they work because otherwise they'd be lazy, it's work because they want that particular thing done

[theartofbeinganeldar]

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 5

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in Middle-Earth, Thranduil summoned a council of powerful Elves and wizards to see what should be done with you, expressing his wishes of wanting you out of his kingdom. The council decides to send you with Legolas on an orc-hunting mission, and if the Elves of the company that he deems trustworthy-- one of them being his own wife-- say that you've proven yourself worthy of staying among the Mirkwood Elves, then you can stay. The problem is actually managing to succeed...

Chapter No.: Chapter 5

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color [lad/lass/y-o]= lad/laddie, lass/lassie, young one

Notes:  I know I've been trying to keep this story gender-nuetral, but dwarves have a habit of referring to people (Even Gimli to Legolas, though he's a lot younger than our golden boy) as "lad/laddie" "lass/lassie." Or even "young one," I've heard Balin call Bilbo. So for this story, I'll just put [lad/lass/y-o] in parenthesese, and you can just hear whichever one you choose. :)

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir LIVES, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC maybe Bilbo you won't know for awhile, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

The Elves stopped just outside the northern border of the Mirkwood, to the west, to wait for the dwarves. But apparently the little guys just didn't give a shit.

The whole group camped for three days, then three more days, and by the end of it, you were even growing impatient. It was mainly the younger Elves that shared your impatience, but Elves like Elvenqueen and Erestor and Haldir seemed to think that they had all the time in the world, la la fucking la...

Legolas seemed in-between, irritated at the dwarves for being so late but not really caring in the long run. You tried several times to approach him and apologize, but he always seemed to disappear at the most inconvenient times imaginable.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity-- you were getting sick and tired of frolicking-- the sign of a camp on a distant ridge, a couple of days away, gave the Elves hope that the dwarves finally got their heads out of their asses and decided to show up. A couple of Elves seemed to puff some horses out of thin air, and galloped off to meet them.

"We get horses?!" You'd screeched, and wheeled on your friends-- Tauriel hadn't come, so Lindir, Elros, and pissy Blue-Eyes were the only actual friends here you had, even though all the other Elves were very nice to you. "Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me we got horses?!" You could've been riding to pass this time. Not that you knew how to ride a horse, but that wasn't the point.

Elros blinked at you in disbelief. "Those Elves awaited us on the border with horses enough for all. You have not seen them before?"

"No, dammit, or I would've been riding to pass the time!" You hadn't noticed them, because a certain Rivendell Elf had forced you to learn Elvish... You rounded on him. "Lindir! If you hadn't made me sit here and learn Elvish, I could've been riding!"

Lindir stared at you, then slowly raised an eyebrow challengingly. "You do not know how to ride, do you?"

You frowned. "That's not the point!"

Both Elros and Lindir chuckled amongst themselves. You huffed theatrically. "Fine, jackasses. I'm off to pet one of those sweet animals. You can teach me Elvish later."

Before either of them could stop you, you all but ran off, hoping not to slam into anybody or trip or cause something to fall that'd cause a huge mess. You were prone to all of them. And there were horses, enough for everybody there, and three very fat ponies that you almost started squealing over. Those, you guessed, were for the dwarves.

But one horse, out of all of them, caught your eye.

A sleek, gorgeous black, with a bright white star on his forehead. He was built for speed, like a racehorse, but he was sturdy, too. You looked for something to mark him as belonging to a certain Elf-- because you knew Elves loved horses, and that like all horse people, even look at their horse wrong and you make it on their kill list-- but they all seemed randomly selected out of somebody's stables, dressed in the same dark leather tack and saddlebags.

"Oooooh," You approached him quietly, and he nickered softly at you, his dark eyes scanning you and the Elves and the other horses warily. He seemed only recently tamed. "You, fine sir, are gorgeous."

"I beg your pardon?"

You promptly fell backward. Shit! Talking horses, too?! "What the fuck?!"

Legolas, with a smug smirk plastered onto his absurdly perfect face, sailed into existence from around a dapple gray mare. "Valar tell me you were talking to the horse."

"No, I can tell you I was talking to the horse," You sighed in relief, shaking your head as you stood. "But don't worry your platinum head, Goldie, all Elves are equally beautiful creatures."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, mellon."

You stroked the black's face gently. "No seriously though, he's beautiful. Does he have a name?"

Blue-Eyes didn't look up from brushing his mare's mane. "Most of the horses came from Rivendell and Rohan, which they bought on the journey. The rest came from the Woodland stables. I doubt you will find his name, if he has one."

You felt a little disappointed that you couldn't ask if you could have the horse. You'd always wanted one, but for... Personal reasons that had to do with your biological father, you never got one. "Well... I'll just refer to him as The Black, then."

Blue-Eyes turned around, and started inspecting his tack. "Hm... He seems to have come from our own stables." He stroked behind the stallion's ears, and the horse snuffed appreciatively.

"Legolas," You said quickly, realizing you should catch him when you have the chance. "I'm sorry for not telling you about me leaving if this didn't go well. It wasn't my choice; Thranduil wanted me to go with Elrond that day, but I asked if I could stay. He sent me on this mission to see if I was worthy enough to stay in his Palace of Fabulous. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but... I didn't think anyone would care if I left."

Blue-Eyes got a confused look. "Why... Why would you think that?"

You gave him a sad, lopsided smile. "No one has before."

Recognition, then regret, flashed across Blue-Eyes's face. "Oh, Sairen... I am truly sorry, mellon nin, I should not have been angry with you. I didn't realize... I should have, and I should not have been upset with you. I just... I do care if you leave, and, if I'm honest, I do not want you to go."

You patted his shoulder. "Just so long as you forgive me."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "Of course, mellon, if you can forgive me."

You grinned. "Forgiven." You nudged him with your shoulder. "I'm just glad we're friends again. I've never had so many people be nice to me, but only a handful of you I consider my friends."

"And who among us hold that honor?" He asked teasingly.

Oh shit... You'd seen movies where somebody's asked this question, and if the askee shows even the slightest bit of hesitation or interest in any of the friends, asker became pissed and/or jealous. Wait... Why do I care about that? You turned to him with a huge smile. "Well you and Tauriel, DUH, and then there's Lindir and Elros now. Just wait, I'll be friends with Haldir and Erestor too, and then your mom-- by the time I'm finished I'll even make your dad like me!"

Legolas chuckled. "I hope so, mellon."

"By the way," You said, and reached down to grab a handful of grass to give to the Black. "Lindir and Elros are trying-- and failing-- to teach me Elvish. I'm a horrible student, namely because I'm Elvish-challenged. Still, I'm learning, and I want you to teach me something very specific."

He looked confused. "What?"

You smiled. "Teach me the history of Middle-Earth! Everything you can! I can't read Elvish, but you can, and you know the stories pretty well, I'm guessing. So start with how the world began and continue on from there."

Legolas smiled. "Very well, Sairen." In one quick movement, he mounted his mare, then reached down for your hand. "Come. We will ride, and I will tell you all that I know."

You took his hand, feeling a spark from static you'd built up from petting the horse. He hefted you effortlessly up behind him, then urged his horse into a canter as you rode away from camp.

***

Needless to say, you fell off twice.

Once, you let go of Legolas for just a second as his mare jumped a small log, and whoops, there you go. After, still not learning your lesson, you let go of him while trotting beside a river and the horse's gait made you slide right off before you even realized what was happening.

Then you learned not to let go of Blue-Eyes, mostly because he laughed his Elvish ass off every time you fell, after making sure you were okay.

As for world history, it was all very confusing. There were like six different versions of somebody and a hundred different other guys shared the same name and places and descendants and confusing time periods and just ugh. That was one thing you remembered from Earth: Tolkien's works had always been confusing.

Long story short, though, there was a guy called Eru, or Illuvatar, and he created a bunch of friends through thought. These friends of his became the Valar, and Illuvatar created the whole universe-- Ea-- through more thought. Then he had all his friends-- fourteen of them-- sing, and they created the vision of Valinor, then Arda, and the mischief-maker was Melkor, brother of god-king Manwe.

Now, after a long bout of building and making and stuff they created Valinor and Tirion and Mandos and all that, and they created birds and beasts, but Melkor got jealous and tried to ruin it at every fucking turn. Seriously, the guy didn't give them a break.

Then, Aule, another Valar, who made a lot of shit, wanted to have a bunch of kids so created the little guys known as dwarves, and made them to be especially tough and hardy and stuff because they were supposed to be around during the time of Melkor. But, Illuvatar appeared in his living room one night and said "I think the fuck not my kids come first" which made Aule reeeaaaaaallly upset, so he tried to kill the dwarves (Supreme parenting 2.0!), but then Illuvatar said "wait idiot they can still live" so Aule put them in stasis-mode for like several million years, until somebody "accidentally" unleashed some new Elves into Middle-Earth-- which had no moon or sun.

So duh Orome shows up, says "hi" and everybody runs for their lives except for a few brave souls, who round everybody back up. So three particular Elves, Finwe, Lenwe, and Ingwe, who you're pretty sure were brothers, went to Valinor with Orome to see if it was suitable for Elves-- and it was pretty much Elven paradise, or Vegas or something.

THUS CAME THE FIRST SUNDERING OF THE ELVES, or, that's how dramatically Leggy told it; the Teleri came to rest on the shores of Aman instead of going still further (Who earlier had split further and some became the Sindar, who had stayed in Beleriand, and the Silvan Elves, who'd stayed in the forests of Beleriand or something, of which Blue-Eyes was the first.), the Nandor who got scared of mountains and refused to go further, and the Noldor, who came all the way to Valinor.

Once actually in Aman, the Elves loved it there. They were in paradise. Water. Books. Flowers. Sparkles. Everything an Elf dreamed of. They built a city on a huge hill called Tirion upon Tuna (No you refrained from laughing.), made of silver and gold and more sparkles, and there was lots of peace, until Melkor was finally caught and chained.

Peace, lots of peace, boring shit, more peace, then BAM, the idiot Valar let the bastard go, like dumbasses. Melkor hadn't changed of course, no one does. He started rumors like some crazy gossiper and started up a whole bunch of shit. At that time, this guy called Feanor was around. He was like, the Elf of Elves, but he had some breathtaking anger management issues because after his mom died, his dad waited like a couple thousand years then got married again, and he definitely did not like his stepmom.

Or his two half-brothers.

They were pretty cool guys, Fingolfin and Finarfin, and each brother had like a dozen kids each, one of Finarfin's, get this, was Galadriel. One of Thingol's kin? Celeborn. Elrond? Yeah, he's the grandson of Beren and Luthien, the son of Earendil, raised by Maglor, related to Turin, and his grandparents were Tuor and Idril, the latter of which was the daughter of Turgon, who was the son of Fingolfin, who was the brother of Feanor, so yeah.

Holy fucking shit. Their god stories were kinda hard not to believe when people still existed who could vouch for them.

So this Feanor guy created a trio of sparklies beyond all sparklies, called, the Silmarils. He got a mild case of dragonsickness, boasting and hoarding and showing off and gloating, but Melkor made him think his brothers were trying to steal his sparkles, which, fuck no, how dare they, and he made his brothers think that Feanor was trying to usurp their father Finwe's throne.

Damn that guy knew how to stir up some shit.

One of Melkor's chief servants? Sauron, the Dark Lord, previously known as Sauron the Sparkly Maiar Who Wouldn't Hurt A Butterfly. Balrogs? Yup, Melkor made them, too.

Basically, Feanor started a revolution against the Valar and Melkor, who he called Morgoth, because Melkor was just too pretty of a name for such a bad guy, who stole every single light with the help of a hideously large spider called Ungoliant, killed Finwe, then took the Silmarils.

Feanor was piiiiiiissed.

So the Noldor left Tirion, killed some guys that tried to reason with them that turned out to be Elves, the Teleri, got cursed by Mandos, then Feanor, his sons, and a couple hundred who he knew didn't question him set off on stolen boats and burned them when they reached shore, leaving everybody else-- Galadriel included-- to walk the fucking Helcaraxe, a snowy strait wasteland, to get to Beleriand, which was filled with sparkling twinkle-toes Elves and much-less-serious dwarves-- who were friends.

There was also a good portion of the story dedicated to Turin, Beren and Luthien, and the couple known as Maedhros and Fingon, who you instantly adored: Maedhros, chained to a jagged cliffside for who-knows-how-long, and Fingon, who wanted so badly to save him, and eventually carried up to the cliffside by an eagle; he had to cut off Maedhros's hand, but the story was so heartfelt you were still internally squealing about it.

Yeah so that happened, and then a bunch of war and slaying and something about a Fall of Gondolin and the Children of Hurin and Beren and Luthien leading up to a whole lot of human-caused shit with Numenor, and then Illuvatar blew everything up and restarted, essentially. Toward the end of the second age, Sauron (The fucker had somehow lived through all that evil-cleansing shit.), in the form of a fancy-prancy Elf named Annatar, suggested the making of the Rings of Power. Three, a smart guy who hadn't fallen for any of Annatar's shit, Celebrimbor, hid for the Elves, while Sauron/Annator helped forge the rest in order to control them, making one ring, above all.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the dwarf  lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for mortal men doomed to die,

And one for the Dark Lord on his Dark Throne,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie,

One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

That was totally cool and stuff, and a handful of well-known Elves-- Gil-Galad, Glorfindel (Who'd uh, previously died due to a balrog trying to touch his hair.), Elrond-- and you're betting Galadriel, Celeborn, and Thranduil-- plus a bunch of well-known humans, lead by Isildur's dad, Elendil, and probably some dwarves, all came together with their armies and formed the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, totally discounting every dwarf that was there.

The nine kings who'd been given rings? Yeah, those were cursed, and because Men are greedy, they became shadows of their former selves, black-clad servants of Sauron, known as the Ringwraiths-- or, even cooler, Nazgul.

So there was a huge battle. Gil-Galad fell. Isildur's dad fell. Isildur cut off the One Ring from Sauron's hand, Sauron faded away, and Elrond took Isildur into Mount Doom to destroy the Ring. But he was weak, and was seduced by its power, and Elrond just stood there screaming his name apparently.

So there'd been roughly a couple thousand years of peace, and nobody knew where the Ring was. You doubted it was anywhere safe or secure, and much less that Sauron was actually dead.

Also, the Elves were fading. That scared you.

"What?! Great, I got sucked into a world where I'm just gonna die!"

Legolas laughed. "No, mellon nin, we are fading. Not dying. We just long for home, and our kind is slowly leaving Middle-Earth. This world becomes gray to us after so long of living here. We go across the sea, to the Undying Lands of Aman and Valinor."

"Okay," You leaned around him to see his face. "What is it with you Elves and the sea?! What's so important about it, if even you've never seen it yourself?! I certainly haven't seen any kind of ocean or sea."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "The first sound ever heard by the Elves was flowing water. It calls us home, in a way. It is said by my people that in water there yet lives the echo of the Music of the Ainur that first created this world."

"Huh," You said, tilting your head. "Guess that does make it really interesting..."

The sound of another pair of hoofbeats, coming up from behind, nearly made you fall off of the horse again. "Orcs?!"

Blue-Eyes grinned smugly. "Orcs do not ride horses, Sairen."

"Duh. I knew that. Fuck you."

"I'd rather you not without my consent."

"That's not always what it means!" You hid your blush by moving so your head was behind his back. Damn Elves...

It was Erestor, riding a gorgeous flaxen stallion. "Legolas, Elvenqueen calls upon the company of [Y/N]."

Nervously, you peered around Blue-Eyes's side. "Is that bad?"

Legolas spurred his own mare into a canter as he followed after Erestor. "Not in the least, mellon."

When you returned to camp, Erestor and Legolas took care of the horses, while they sent you on ahead-- by yourself, to a scary yet badass Elvenqueen you might glare you out of existence if you breathed wrong, like the wonderful friends they were-- to the Elvenqueen.

She sat by one of the center campfires, surrounded by a drove of Elves eagerly listening to whatever she was saying. Even in the firelight, she looked really young, but really regal and noble and even though she didn't have a wrinkle on her body you could tell she'd been around for eons.

All went silent when you approached. Nervously, you bowed. "Y-you wished to see me, your majesty?"

"Yes," She said, and waved to a place on a log across from her. "Sit."

You weren't terrified or anything. Just 'cause she decided not to skin you alive a couple days ago didn't mean she couldn't change her mind. You caught a glimpse of Elros in the crowd, and he gave you a reassuring nod: Don't worry, you won't die yet.

Comforting.

"Tell something of your world," She said.

You balked. Hadn't Thranduil told her everything you'd said? They seemed like the type of couple to do just that. Hadn't Legolas at least given her some information? They seemed close. You swallowed hard, readjusting yourself on the log. "What uh... What do you want to know?"

She thought for a second. "A tale."

You shifted. Sure, that was specific. You'd read billions of books (Well, maybe not quite that much...), but you couldn't remember any that Elves would want to hear aside from series’, like Temeraire, or The Gospel of Loki, or Eon the Last Dragoneye. Maybe you could use a movie, but Marvel and Transformers were too long and in-depth. You thought for a minute. You didn't even know how to give a much-shortened version of Eragon.

But out of everything, it was your best bet to tell a story and be safe from explaining your world's past, or things of your world, or cultures, mythology, or the concept of giant robots from another planet that hide by transforming into cars. Eragon was the closest thing you had to Lord of the Rings that you could remember right off the top of your head that was most similar; it had some of the same beasts, like dragons and werewolves, it was set in the same genre and had dwarves and Elves and Men, even if urgals were a new one... Then again, you weren't sure how they'd take dragons being good instead of hoarding assholes.

So, you got started.

As a hobby, you wrote a lot of fanfiction, which had mainly been for Lord of the Rings; you couldn't remember any of it now, of course, but you'd also started your own fantasy stories that had never been published. You were good with storytelling.

There were points where you had to pause and remember what happened next, or try to find words that explained the guilt or sadness or general feels of the story, but you did pretty good. By the time you were finished, the sun had came up and it was already noon, and the Elves that'd gone off to see if that camp was for dwarves were coming back, with a couple of pony-sized rams with shaggy coats carrying three tiny buff hairy guys.

Elvenqueen regally stood. "My thanks, [Y/N]. That was a wonderful story." She sailed through the ranks of the Elves, which parted before her like reeds to a boat.

"Is that a true story?" Lindir asked you, eyes wide.

You scoffed. "If it were true, I'd've had a dragon named Saphira or Shruikan. I have no dragon." You clapped your hands together. "So! When do I get to meet the dwarves?"

Blue-Eyes-- who'd joined later in the story, and another Elf caught him up on what was going on while he half-listened to what else was going on-- mockingly rolled his eyes. "Patience, mellon. I cannot think of any Eldar whom would willingly want to make the acquaintance of a dwarf."

You gave him a pointed look. "What about Thingol's people?"

Silence. Finally, Elros busted out laughing, and clapped the now-stunned Legolas on the back. "They have a point, mellon!"

But Blue-Eyes was right. It was only a couple hours before you were sought out by a Lothlorien Elf, who told you Thorin wanted to meet "the one who hailed from far." Apparently, nobody here felt like saying "the person that came from another planet." Not as mysterious, apparently.

So you followed the Elf to a tent, much smaller than those of the Elves, and a lot less colorful and, dare you say it, fashionable. Literally, it just looked like a bunch of old dark-colored blankets had been stitched together haphazardly. But, if you looked at the tools and tack of the rams, they were just doing it in spite of the Elves, because they had really good craftsmanship.

You weren't sure what to do. "Uhhh... Knock knock?"

You belatedly remembered one of the dwarves was royalty. "Sirs?"

The flap of the tent opened, and you got your first look at a dwarf.

He was an older dwarf, with a long graying beard and frizzy hair, and huge round ears. He looked you up and down in a brief but kind inspection, and, came to the very educated conclusion of, yup, not your normal Elf.

The dwarf smiled. "Ah, you must be [Y/N]." He sounded more Scottish than anything, and you were instantly relaxed. "The one from a far place. Not a normal Elf, then?"

You shook your head. "No sir. Just got here about a month and a half ago, actually."

He raised a hand. "Now now, we are all a part of this expedition, and I don't like being referred to as 'sir.' I am Balin to you."

You couldn't help but smile. He was a lovable little guy, a very sweet old dwarf. "Okay then. But, uh... Should I call Thorin or Dwalin 'sir'?"

Balin thought about that. "Ehhh... Thorin, yes. Dwalin? No."

You nodded, and Balin lead you inside the tent. It was pretty cozy, with three logs covered in roughish furs for makeshift beds. A small cooking fire was set up in the middle, and two other dwarves sat by it, halting their dwarvish conversation when they seen you and Balin. "This is they," Said Balin, in an introductory way. "[Y/N], child of [M/N], from far places."

The dwarf who you assumed was Dwalin-- buff, sleeveless, and with viscious muttonchops that made him look like Wolverine-- scoffed. "Tell me," Holy shit, he sounds like Leonidas from 300! "[Y/N], do you perhaps come from the Iron Hills?"

"Iron... What?" You were confused. Hadn't any of the Elves talked about you being from Earth? "N...No. I come from a place called Earth."

"Dwalin," Said the other guy, who radiated kingship, authority, and regal dwarfish-ness. He didn't take his eyes off you, like you were a predator ready to strike that he was wary of. He had a beard, but braided neatly down, and long dark hair. He wore dark navy blue and brown fur armor, and his voice was like, super deep. "They are not of the Iron Hills."

"Uh... Thank you?"

Thorin stood, and you bowed. "I'd uh, use some really respectful greeting, but I don't know any in dwarvish yet, so, it's an honor to meet you, Thorin, son of Thrain."

Thorin nodded. "I would say the same, if I knew you deserved any honor," He replied. Ouch.

You didn't know what to say. He obviously had no love for Elves. "What uh... What made you think I was from the Iron Hills, wherever that is?"

"To the east of Erebor, [lad/lass/y-o]," Balin informed you, and Dwalin whacked him so hard upside the head you could've swore they broke something.

"Oh. What made you think--"

Thorin looked at you with a look that said stfu so you did. "The dwarves of Erebor think little of Elven magic, or wizards. We did not believe a portal strong enough to pull someone from another world could exist. And as I have discovered, it does not."

You were confused. "What do you mean? You mean the ears? Those were latex, I swear, but suddenly they weren't. You can ask Thranduil, I'm not from these parts."

Thorin glared at you. "I would rather not converse with the Elvenking. He does not hear the word of others. As for you... It is clear you are merely an Elf of strange upbringing, who lost themselves in the wrong woods."

"Okay," You were starting to get irritated. You loved Middle-Earth, but you weren't from Middle-Earth. You didn't belong, like always, and you were ready to defend your position. In Game of Thrones--you'd never gotten far in that series, and had only started the books-- Tyrion Lannister told Jon Snow to armor himself in what people thought his weakness was, so that it would no longer be his weakness. That's exactly what you'd done over the course of your life, and you weren't about to lose that now. "Listen, I can show you the damn portal. It wasn't made by Elves, or wizards, or any of that other shit. The inscription on the portal came from the time of Gondolin, if that means anything to you. Do I talk like an Elf, to you? Do I act like one? The Elves were ready to kill me, just because I breathed wrong near their damn trees after being chased by orcs on oversized dogs. If I weren't from another world, do you honestly think I'd have such elaborate stories?"

Behind Thorin, Balin patted his hands down, giving you the silent signal to shut up. Glacing at Thorin's pissed off face made you listen. "How am I to believe you?"

You made a face. "Don't you dwarves have any kind of lie-detecting abilites?"

Balin sighed. "None that we can think of, [lad/lass/y-o]."

You huffed in defeat. "Okay, okay, you know what? You dwarves are beyond stubborn, so I'll just tell you once: I come from another world. If you don't believe me, fine, but I'd actually like to make friends with dwarves, thank you very much."

"Oh!" Dwalin chuckled deeply. "Then they must not be an Elf, Thorin! None in their right mind would go cavorting with a dwarf!"

Thorin frowned. "Perhaps a spy... But wait... You are not of the Woodland Elves. I see that now."

You looked down at yourself. "Gee, what gave it away?"

"You carry yourself differently," He began to circle you, and you felt like you were being circled by a vulture. An angry vulture... "Most unlike them, or any Elf I have heard tale of. Whom were you raised by?"

"Uh, my mother," You quipped with a cocked eyebrow. "Her name is [M/N]."

"And where do your kin reside? With the Rangers of Dúnadain?"

"With the what? Is that some kind of club?"

"Club?" Thorin repeated. "You believe that to be a weapon?" He gave you a disbelieving look, and you sighed.

"No, no. Where I come from, a club is a group of people that gather together and talk about stuff they like, or try to run the schools or shit like that," You were trying to explain with excessive hand movements, but you only seemed to be freaking him out.

He narrowed his eyes. In a rough and rusty language that sounded like it could be dwarvish, he said something; you didn't even catch any of the words.

You stared at him blankly for a second. "Mae g'ovannen...?" You tried, wincing at your hopeless pronunciation of the words.

Thorin regarded you with a newfound look of awe. Behind him, Dwalin chuckled. "That, was his attempt at Elvish. And you did not understand what he said?"

You stared. "...No? Was I supposed to? Did you just say something important? Or insult me? Hey, I'm only just starting to learn Sindarin!"

Thorin's look of awe shifted to a scowl and a bitter smirk. "It was not Sindarin, I can assure you. It was Quendi, that of the Noldor, the only Elvish my people know."

"Quen-- Oh, I get it now. Different Elves, different languages, it's all coming together..." You swung your arms casually. "Ok, so, what'd you say?"

"I told you that you are an imposter, and no better than Orc-filth" Said Thorin absentmindedly, "Which would send any Elf into a fit of well-groomed rage."

You couldn't help yourself. You burst into a fit of giggles, making all three dwarves look at you weirdly. "I-I'm sorry," You wheezed, "'Well-groomed rage'; yeah, that's pretty much what they do!"

"What of this quest, then?" Challenged Thorin as he took a seat. He gestured for you to do the same. "If you are not of the Wood Elves, yet you are indeed Elven, why are you on this journey? What purpose do you have here?" He poured you a drink; you'd never really tasted ale or mead of any kind, and recoiled from the smell.

"In order for you to understand, I'd have to tell you the story," You told him, and he gestured for you to continue. So you did. "I fell from the highest branches of an oak tree playing a game with my family. It was a standard day. Standard, pointless life. A life in a dying world that was way too fucking overpopulated, in the wrong damn places. It was a twisted kind of home. I didn't like it, and did what I wanted, so people hated me. I was dressed as an Elf--hence the ears.

"I wake up in the middle of the night, still in the forest, and am suddenly being chased by orcs on the backs of oversized dogs with six-packs on their faces."

Thorin grew confused. "Six-pack? What is that?"

You patted your stomach. "Those rows of six square tight muscles you get on you stomach if you work out. Now lemme finish!

"I get caught up in a river, shot by an arrow, and am half-dead by the time the Elves arrive lead by Blue-Eyes-- uh, Legolas-- and they're ready to kill me, but because I'm pretty much dead and in their forest, I'm some kind of threat. Because they're real nice like that. Thranduil-- who I kindly refer to as, Lord Fabulous-- wanted Leggy to kill me on the spot. Blade to my neck and everything. Until I pointed out that I could go home if we found the portal and would never return by pain of death. Ouch, but whatever.

"So we look, find it, and surprise! Can't get through. Can never see my family again. Can never go home. Suddenly I'm a real Elf. I go into a kind of depression before I realize that this place was a fictional world from where I'm from, which I'd loved, but for some reason can't remember shit now." You pointed to him. "Your name is important. Very. I know that much. You do something really cool, probably.

"But the Council of Wisdomy Guys was summoned, and they decided that it would be best if I proved my worthiness to stay among the Wood Elves on this mission. No pressure!" You grinned maniacally. "What brings you here? I hear a certain gray-robed wizard?"

"Ah, yes," He sighed. "Gandalf. My father met with him whilst I was in the depths of Erebor, so I heard no word of it and could make no protest against it until my father told me that I was to travel with two of my choice to assist the Elves. I only tolerate this for my father's sake, and he claims this will be a good lesson for kingship one day. But when I heard word of someone from foreign lands, I feared it was the dwarves of the Iron Hills attempting some form of scheme. Never have they liked us, and they never shall."

You scoffed. "Yeah, well... Most of the Elves may not like you either, but some of them aren't so bad."

Dwalin choked on his bread. Balin gave you a sad look. "But they tried to kill you!"

You shrugged. "I'm used to getting awful treatment. And besides, now that they know me, I've made some friends. Tauríel, the Captain of the Guard; Lindir of Rivendell, and Elros son of Elrond... And then there's Blue-- Legolas."

"Why d'ya refer to him that way?" Dwalin demanded with a disgusted look.

You shrugged. "A nickname. Where I come from, it's a gesture of friendship. I call Lindir 'Lindy' and he hates it, I can tell."

Thorin snorted. "Well, [Y/N] of Earth... Should the Wood Elves refuse your company, Dale might make a nice, temporary placement until you find elsewhere."

You smirked, nodding slowly. "I heard that emphasis on temporary. Don't worry; I thank you for your hospitality, but Lord Elrond is staying at the palace until I return. If I fail, he'll take me back to Rivendell with him."

"Good. One less Elf on our borders to deal with."

"Oh screw off."

Thorin grinned bitterly, but waved a hand. "Begone, I am done with questioning you."

You scoffed, and Dwalin took your drink and guzzled it. to your shock and amazement. Out of the three of them, only Balin wished you a goodnight.

But you weren't tired, which you realized as you found yourself heading back toward the horses. "[Y/N]," Said a familiar voice, and you turned to see Haldir striding toward you.

You bowed, suddenly recognizing him as somebody of high rank. "Mae l'ovannen, Haldir of Lothlorien. What's up?"

He blinked in confusion. "I..." He slowly looked up. "Believe the stars..."

You chuckled. "No, no; that's an expression, where I come from. It means how are you doing, what is it you need, nice to see you, etcetera etcetera."

He stared at you. "...'Et... Cetera...?'"

You slumped over. "Oi... It means a general list of similar meanings that're implied but nobody feels like saying."

Haldir smiled. "Oh, I see. Lindir wished for you to return, so that you could continue your lessons in Sindarin." He didn't miss your look of disappointment. He smirked. "Perhaps, when you are finished with Sindarin, and already know Common, Quenyan would be best for you to learn."

"Pfft," You waved a hand. "I'll live forever. Might as well. I'll toss some dwarvish in there while I'm at it."

Haldir made a face. "I suppose that is up to you, but every dwarf speaks Common, so it would not pose any form of language barrier for that to be avoided..."

*** You were woken up no later than the crack of fucking dawn, by an elaborate blowing of horns that probably alerted ninety-seven percent of the orcs of the northern borders to your presence, but oh what the hell.

What else you woke up to?

"Galu, mellon nin," Said Legolas with a shit-eating grin. "Ci maer?"

Slowly, your groggy eyes went from wide to thin, angry slits. "...I swear to the Valar, Blue-Eyes... I just fucking woke up. What are you saying? Speak in Common, or I'll tear you limb from limb because I am not a morning person."

He gave you a look, but couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "Le leich, Sairen. But if you are going to learn Elvish, then you must actually try to do so. Tell me, what did I say?"

You shrugged and slumped over onto a log. "Grapefruit, melons win, kid mobster."

Blue-Eyes chuckled, but internally, you busted out laughing after realizing what you said. "No, [Y/N], you have to do this. Concentrate. What did I say?"

With a sigh, you thought about Lindir's grueling lessons with you yesterday. "...You said, 'A blessing,' which is basically 'hi,' first; Galu. Then you said 'my friend,' and, 'are you well.'"

Blue-Eyes nodded, looking excited that you were getting the hang of Elvish. "Excellent. Now respond to me in Sindarin."

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. In the most unenthusiastic tone you could muster, you said, "Galu, Legolas, ni maer. A gin?" Blessings, Legolas, I am well. And you?

"Ni maer," He replied, then began polishing his bow. "Worry not, Sairen, soon Sindarin will come to you thoughtlessly. You already swear to our gods, instead of your own."

You did roll your eyes this time. An idea hit you. "Hey..." You looked at him with a huge smirk. "What's fuck you in Elvish?"

Legolas paled, then blushed. "You will learn how to speak intimately to another later--"

You huffed. "NO! What's your most offensive insult?!"

Blue-Eyes thought for a minute. "...Ego, which is the equivalent to what you mean when you proclaim that Common phrase of yours... Hopefully, most of the time."

You bit back a laugh. "...Eggo? As in, L'eggo my eggo?"

Blue-Eyes gave you a concerned look. "I... I am not sure what you mean, and it is not pronounced as you say it."

Commotion started up, and you spun around in your seat wildly to try and see why everybody was suddenly moving and packing up. "What's goin' on?"

Legolas smiled. "Well, Sairen, we are off to track the orcs."

You looked at him in a panic, pointing futilely to an Elf packing up the cooking supplies. "B-but... What about breakfast?" That sentence reminded you of someone... Someone small and innocent and prone to causing disasters... But who? Blue-Eyes didn't give you time to figure it out.

"You will not starve, mellon nin," He told you gently, and stood. "You are an Eldar now; you'd best learn what your body can do now rather than later." He smiled down at you. "Dadwenithon."

As if you understood what that meant, he practically skipped away. "...Dad marathon?" You repeated in disbelief. You got up and went to find somebody you knew, preferably not the Elvenqueen, Erestor, Haldir, or Thorin, because they'd just find you childish, or annoying. Elros was quick to find, and you approached him and his palomino steed with a very confused expression.

"Hey Elros?"

Elros looked up from brushing his horse's mane and smiled. "Ai, len suilon, mellon nin. Ci maer?"

You rolled your eyes. Stupid Elves and their five hundred different ways to say 'hi...' "Galu, Elros. Ni maer, a gin?"

"Ni maer eithro. What brings you to my company?"

"What the hell does dad marathon mean?"

Elros froze and looked at you like you were crazy. "I beg your pardon?"

You gestured wildly over your shoulder. "Legolas got up, walked away, and said dad marathon! And I've got no idea what he said!"

Elros grinned knowingly. "Ai,Legolas said dadwenithon. It means, roughly, I will return." He gave you a disgusted look. "And that is not how it is pronounced at all."

"Oh. Dadwenithon?"

Elros smiled proudly. "Yes! Precisely! Well done! But if Legolas told you he would return to you, evidently he meant for you to stay where you were."

Your eyes bugged out of your head. "Oh. I'll be going, then. Novaer." You didn't realize you'd said an Elvish farewell until you'd reached where you'd originally been seated, but that jumped out of your head when you seen Legolas waiting with his dappled mare and the black stallion (Heh heh...) from yesterday.

"Ooh! What's this all about?"

"I decided you should have your own mount throughout the course of this journey," He replied with a smile. "He is yours for now. Name him as you will, and by the end of this journey, I shall see if you may keep him."

You stared at him like he'd just grown a second head. "Wh... What? Keep him?"

Legolas smiled. "Surely you would wish to ride at will throughout the northern parts of Mirkwood?"

A huge smile spread across your face, and you excitedly spread your hands. "Well, duh! Gin hannon, Legolas! I'll call him..." You took the reins and looked him in the eye. "Starlight. I've always wanted a black horse called Starlight."

Blue-Eyes patted your back. "Well done, mellon. Already, Elvish is beginning to seep into your speech."

You looked at him in surprise. "I did that on purpose you dumb blond."

Legolas's eyes widened slightly. "Man?" Which you understood as, What?

You stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your eyes. "Blehlehleh!"

He recoiled. "What are you doing?"

With a laugh, you stroked Starlight's muzzle. "Messing with you. So you get up from the left side, right?"

Blue-Eyes just looked at you like you were crazy, then shook his head. "Yes, I suppose."

You went around to the left flank of the steed, which snorted suspiciously at you, like it wanted to know what the fuck you were doing. You peered at Blue-Eyes over the stallion's back. "Gimme a leg up?"

Legolas flushed and stared at you blankly. "If that is one of your vulgar insults, I swear to Illuvatar..."

A laugh escaped your throat. "No! Hell no! It means help me up, you moron!"

A sweet smile crossed Blue-Eye's features. "Well, then, come here, mellon nin, and I will aid you." He interlaced his fingers together as he bent down, allowing you to grip both ends of the saddle, step into his hand, and haul yourself up. You nearly fell off the other side, but just managed to catch yourself before you made yourself look like a complete idiot in front of Blue-Eyes, who noticed your struggle but said nothing, to your sweet relief.

Elros trotted through camp on his palomino, saying "Und wendo'hein!"

Legolas mounted his dapple-gray, and looked you up and down. "You are not sitting correctly." He told you, and reached over to pull your shoulders back. "Your shoulders need to make a line to your ankles in the stirrups."

You rolled your eyes sarcastically. "Great, now you sound like my collection of Young Rider magazines."

"Your what?" Legolas looked almost offended.

"It's basically a book only about twenty pages long made of cheap paper and filled with random tidbits of information. This series I started collecting when I was eight or nine, then continued until I was about twelve, thirteen... I had a lot of them. I loved horses."

Blue-Eyes furrowed his brow. "Did you have one?"

You scoffed. "In my world, you either have to be rich like Saddle Club or own a farm like Racing Stripes. Or, by some miracle get saved by a badass black Arabian stallion on a desert island." You smiled cheekily at him. "Which, by the way, your facial structure really reminds me of an Arabian horse's. Dished, kinda. And perfect and majestic and all that shit."

Blue-Eyes just looked like he was suddenly being attacked by a pack of savage wargs and he wasn't quite sure what to do. You grinned, and did the first thing all of the books and movies you'd read as a kid had taught you: gently tap your heels into the horse's flanks, and carefully guide their head with the reins. Starlight tossed his head, eager to get moving at a faster pace, and nickered softly as he started off at a walk. Legolas beamed at you as he rode beside you. "Well well, Sairen, it seems you are a natural at riding a horse. Perhaps the blood of the Eldar is finally starting to take a hold of you."

"Not quite," Said a new voice, and Lindir rode up on a sleek bay with a mischievous smile. "Suilad, Legolas! [Y/N]! Your Elvish is improving, but you still need to learn more."

You slumped in the saddle. "Augh, man, do I have to?"

Legolas and Lindir grinned wickedly at each other. "Ai, Lindir, man í lú?"

"Ú, Legolas. Eithro, ci maer?"

"Ni maer, mellon nin, ni maer."

So for a whole five or six hours on the trip, you got bombarded on either side by Blue-Eyes and Lindir trying to teach you Sindarin. At the end of the day, the Elvenqueen asked you for another story, so you told her the first one that popped into your head that you could honestly remember most of: Alladin's Lamp. It had been your favorite fairytail as a child, and while it was meant for younger audiences, the Elves enjoyed it just as much.

Then, Thorin asked to see you again. He asked about your world, and what it was like, and you were happy to get to know them, even if you were an Elf now.

And that's how it went, for the next few weeks. Unfortunately, at some point you'd run out of memorized storybooks, so you focused on myths from various mythologies, and then, even movies. 300 seemed to be a favorite of Thorin's, who overheard, but the Elves were especially interested in Gods of Egypt and The Hunger Games, and the Jedi from Star Wars. When you ran out of that material (It was a long trip with long nights, because apparently Elves didn't really get the concept of sleep.), you even switched to games; Darksiders and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim got their attention, as did The Legend of Zelda.

But of all the damned stories you told them, they seemed most interested in Shakespeare, of all things. You only barely remembered reading Midsummer Night's Dream out of curiosity, but Romeo and Juliet, thankfully, everybody knew the gist of. Thanks to a certain Tom Hiddleston, you knew Coriolanus by heart, so that one wasn't too hard of a story to tell, and neither was (Onc you finally got them off of Shakespeare.) Pirates of the Caribbean, a classic for you, which, one of the characters, now that you thought of it... Will Turner... You couldn't quite remember his face, or Balian's from Kingdom of Heaven, which they all really liked, especially Legolas.

Eventually, the queen dubbed you Taleweaver, which you thought sounded pretty cool, but also a little nerve-wracking, because what if you ran out of stories to tell? You forced yourself to be casual. No worries. You were a writer, after all, just... Now your audience consisted of fantasy people instead of Tumblr bloggers.

No pressure.

One day, Legolas approached you alone as you groomed Starlight. "Yo," You said, s'upping him. "S'up?"

Blue-Eyes looked like you'd just thrown something at him. "Man?" You rolled your eyes. "Galu, mellon, galu. What is it?"

Legolas scoffed. "My mother has declared only a small party of us, including the dwarves, shall scout ahead and see if we can find their trail. Of the party is myself, Elros, Erestor, Haldir, and... you."

You pointed to yourself. "M...Me? The queen specifically requested me to go with you?" You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. "Whhhhhhyyyyyyy???"

Blue-Eyes glared at you as he stroked Starlight's muzzle. "It is nothing out of the ordinary. You wish to prove yourself to my father, do you not? I would like for you to stay in the Mirkwood as well, Sairen, so do not disappoint me."

"Well," You looked up at Starlight's face. "No pressure, right?"

Legolas smiled cheekily. "Not at all." He patted your back. "We begin at dawn tomorrow. Meet me by Starlight once you've woken, and we shall begin." He walked away, but half-turned to call out, "Do not be late!"

You nodded in exasperation, but as soon as he was gone, sighed and placed your face on Starlight's neck. "Mission," You hissed under your breath, just really wishing Lord Fabulous didn't have to be such a jackass. "Impossible."

Tag List:

@hauntedsiriel @tesserphantom @liviaolivia @dumbladores @littlefrenchfryesblog @hibernatingmadhatter @reclusive-chicken-nugget @naryamirie @legolasdeserveslove @escapingthoughtsandsecrets @sagabriar @brushwood-souls @taurlel

If anyone else wants to be tagged, just let me know! And let me know if I missed anyone, too... O-O

Le leich= You’re sweet

[lovemesomesurveys]

“I’m a dick, I’m addicted to you”

Do you add extra letters to words sometimes? (ex. haaaa) Yeahhh.

Do you like the letter Z or Q better? I don’t favor one over the other. Who would you like to be stuck on an island with? I’d like to not be stuck on an island at all. What's your favorite quote? I have a lot of favorite quotes. I just love relatable stuff that puts into words how I’m feeling or what I’m thinking better than I can. I struggle with expressing myself and putting it into words, so. Name one random fact about your best friend. She loves the ID channel.

Do you like vegetables or fruit better? Gonna be honest, I don’t eat much of either one. Especially, fruit... it’s been a few years since I’ve had any. :X I have spinach, potatoes, and green onions pretty often, but that’s all the veggies I’ve had in a few years as well. In comparison to my zero fruit intake it’s something at least, ha. There are fruits I like and a few more veggies as well, but I just haven’t had them in awhile. What brand of shoes do you wear? Adidas. What's your favorite smiley face? On the computer I use :) Do you believe that if someone goes to bed thinking of u, u dream of them? I’ve heard that before and it can be a cute thought, but nah. Have you ever snitched on someone for cheating? No. Do you own a Snuggie? I do. What's your favorite number? 8. Which of the 7 dwarves are you most like from Snow White? Sleepy. What's the last movie you watched? Dumb and Dumber yesterday. What's your favorite month? October and December.

“I’m alright”

Do you like the smell of campfires? Yesss. If you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? I don’t know. Do you like eggnog? Yes. Is there a song out right now that you can't stand? I haven’t heard any new music recently. I haven’t been listening to music lately. If you could stay one age forever, what age would you pick? I’d be fine if I just stayed 31 here on out. What's your favorite state? I like my state the best out of the few states I’ve been to (the others being Arizona, Idaho, and Georgia). There’s a few I’d like to visit that could potentially take the top spot for me, though. Have you ever went in public with your tag still on your clothes? I don’t think so.

Would you say your loud or shy? I’m quiet and shy. What's your favorite symbol on the computer? I don’t have one. Are you afraid of clowns? Pennywise is awesome. Do you wear glasses? I do. Ever rode on a horse? Just on one at the pumpkin patch as a kid. Poor horse, guided around in a circle all day.  Do you have trouble saying or spelling some words? I think I spell pretty well. I stumble over my words when I talk sometimes, but I think my pronunciation is pretty good. Have you ever thought something was just to good to be true? Many times. And when I think that, it’s usually true. Do you like potatoes? I love potatoes.

“I’m in trouble, I’m an addict, I’m addicted to this girl”

Are you random? My thoughts and dreams are really random, but I wouldn’t describe myself that way. I’d say I’m predictable and boring. Do you believe that aliens are real? I don’t know. Certainly not the weird looking green creatures that are usually depicted for some reason. Do you sleep with the TV on? I do. I’ve done that ever since I was a kid. What's the longest you've slept in? Like 5PM or so. Have you ever seen a hairy toe? Yes. What's the last thing you watched on TV? Roseanne this morning. Do you have a song stuck in your head? Not at the moment. Who do you talk to the most? My mom and brother. What's the first thing you get on when the internet comes up? When the internet comes up oh man, was this made in the late 90s, early 2000s? lol. The first thing I do when I get on my laptop is continue scrolling through my Tumblr feed or do a survey. When's the last time you were sick? I’ve been sick with something for the past week. And no, it’s not the rona.

Which is your favorite: Music, Dogs, Shoes, Books, Jonas Brother? I love a variety of music, I love doggos in general, but I’m biased towards Labs and German Shepherds, Adidas are my favorite shoes, and back in my die hard Jonas Brothers days I was a total Joe girl. What color is your hair brush? Rose gold. Do you enjoy arcades? I did when I was a kid. We used to have one at my mall back when I was a kid that was a fun place to go. And Chuck E Cheese, ha. Have you ever liked 2 people at once? Yes. Have you taken a nap today? Not so far.

“show me the meaning of being lonely”

Would you ever want to be in a horror movie? I think it’d certainly come off as believable because I’m such a scardy cat and super jumpy. Being chased would genuinely scare me even it was acting. Even knowing what was going to happen I know I’d still be jumpy. Only thing is I don’t have the scream down that you gotta have for a horror movie.  Have you ever been to Washington D.C? Nope. Do you hate when girls have guyish names and boys have girly names? I really don’t care.  Have you lost or gained any weight since February? I know I haven’t gained any weight. I’ve probably lost some weight, which is really not good for someone who’s already underweight.  Have you ever felt like no one wanted to be around you? Yes. I don’t even want to be around me. I often feel like I’m such a burden and annoyance. It’s my own thinking and feeling, though. My family doesn’t do or say anything to make me feel that way. I have had other people make me feel that way, though.   Have you ever had to use a pay phone? Yes. Have you listened to music today? Nope. It’s been awhile since I’ve listened to music, actually. Do you only drink bottled water? Yes. Don’t judge me. I bet someone is on your mind right now, right? No, actually. Do you like writing in pen or pencil better? Pen, definitely. What's the last magazine you bought? I don’t even remember it’s been so long. Has anyone in your family ever forgot your birthday? My parents, brother, and close family members always remember. Was it any of your friends birthday in the past week? My older brother’s birthday was a couple days ago. Is anyone else in the same room as you? Nope. Are you one of the popular people in your grade? I’m done with school, but no I was never popular.

“you never call me when you’re sober”

What word best describes you in the dictonary? ”Depressed”, “Awkward”, “Lame”, “Loser”, “Ugly”... Do you like Soy Milk? Yeah, I’m lactose intolerant. I use that or almond milk. I don’t drink any kind of milk by itself, but I use those in stuff like coffee drinks and cereal. And for dunking my cookies and brownies in. Where were you at 10:30am yesterday? Right here in bed where I spent all weekend. I was having a really rough weekend. I felt really shitty and had zero energy. I couldn’t even drag myself outta bed for coffee, so that’s how you know I was feeling really bad. Thankfully, my mom and brother brought me a Starbucks. Do you think ghosts are real? I believe in spirits, but not actual Caspers. Do you know anyone who has been attacked by a shark? No. What is your best friend's mom name? Lupe. Have you ever made out in a movie theatre? No. What part of your body do you wash first? My arms and work my way down. Do you have an innie or an outie? Innie. How do you think the dinosaurs died? An asteroid. What's your favorite flavor of Pringles? Sour cream and onion, cheddar and sour cream, pizza, and ranch.  What was the last thing you got grounded for? Something when I was like 12. Did you go to a water park last summer? I don’t go to the water park ever. What shoe do you put on first? I think the right. Finish the sentence: Girls.. Just wanna have fun.

“I think we’re alone now”

Have you ever had a song or poem written about you? No. Did you have a nickname growing up? My family called my Noodles, ha. When was the last time you played the air guitar? I don’t know. Have you ever biten your toenail? Ew, no. I’m not flexible enough to even do that, but I would never want to so it’s fine. Have you ever been dared to do something that you regretted? No. I didn’t do dares. Favorite website? Tumblr and YouTube. Worst thing that has ever happened to you? Probably the incident that made me a paraplegic at 7 months old. That’s certainly top of the list. Best thing that has happened to you? My doggos are definitely amongst the top. Best friend? My mom. If you could dye your hair any color, what color would it be? I dye it red and would like to continue to do so. Do you have a wii? It’s my brother’s, but since we live in the same house and I’ve used it, too, I’m gonna say yes.  Most used phrase on IM? I don’t remember, it’s been over a decade since I’ve used IM. Have you ever heard of The Beatles? Of course. Have you ever wanted to give money to a charity? Yes, and I have given to charities.

“Who says you’re not beautiful?”

Would you ever want to have 14 kids? Uh, noooo. I don’t even want one.  Are you wearing any bracelets right now? Nope. Do you have any jewelry that once belonged to an old family member? No. Do you dream every night? I usually do. Give me on of your goals Just taking it day by day. Do you like skinny jeans? Yeah, those are the only jeans I have. Do you ever say stuff that you don’t mean? It happens. Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? Yeah, but that was back when I was 16 and felt pressured into saying it back to my boyfriend at the time even though I didn’t have those feelings. Ever since then I haven’t thrown those words around lightly. What is your dream guy/girl? A patient, understanding, caring, loving, trustworthy, good sense of humor kind of guy. Do you hate when people overract? I can definitely be one of those people that overreact. And I know I’m overreacting when it’s happening, but I can’t help myself. I sometimes see people in situations where I’m like, ‘omg, they’re totally overreacting’ and think it could be handled differently, but yet I do the same thing. When was the last time you used the oven? It’s been awhile, actually... I don’t remember. Have you ever wanted to be free like a bird? ”And I’m as free as a bird now... and this bird you cannot change.” Are you a worrier? Oh am I ever. Does your house have an attic? Nope. Are you going fishing this weekend? No. I don’t go fishing.

[aquaburst3]

I’m gonna unleash a bit of salt in order to get this out of my system. Now that the excitement has died down a bit, to be quite honest, I feel like the Pomefiore arc was rather underwhelming. Don’t get me wrong. The first half of this arc until Deuce and Epel go out is great. (Even if I have issues with it, for reasons I’ll get into in a bit.) Just this update makes me feel mixed.

More undercut because of spoilers.

Issues I had with it

Why didn’t Jack play a bigger role in this arc? The flashbacks flat out stated that the two are close friends since they were little kids. You think that Jack would step in and help out a lot more if they have that close of a bond.

The climax seemed underwhelming storywise. It just seemed like Vil just shrugged and decided to randomly poison Neige out of nowhere. Then Rook stops Vil and he gets pissed, and then overblot. That just just seems rather basic to me. I thought that there would be a lot more to it like someone getting poisoned and the team curing them before confronting Vil or something more than just that. 

Someone on Discord said that he was disappointed since the rhythmic battle with Vil was super easy to beat compared to Jamil and some of the other dorm leaders. I don’t play the game, so I can’t back that up. But there’s that, I guess.

Is it just me or did it take very little for Vil to overblot? He only used his powers only twice this arc, and then overblot. Hell, Leona used his powers more often than Vil before he overblotted! Like what happened with Leona, that doesn’t make sense or fit the established lore, seeming like a giant plothole. Idk, the story could have done a better job at building up to him overblotting and had him use his powers far more.

I’m kinda disappointed that Neige and Vil aren’t stepbrothers. I feel like something like that would’ve added more meat to their conflict. For one, it would parallel Snow White with Vil being jealous of a family member. It would’ve made the conflict much more personal on both ends, giving more meaning to the rivalry between them.

Neige and Vil hardly interacted, despite their spat being the centre point of that whole arc. I would’ve liked them interacted at least a lot at the end. (Yes, I know Leona hardly interacted with Malleus in his arc, but the latter doesn’t get out all that much and Leona was a lot more crafty with his plan, so there’s at least an explanation why.)

Someone posted a theory on here before this part came out about how Grant and some of the other dwarves getting jealous of Vil's team's skill, so Grant decides to go behind Neige's back to "cancel" Vil, saying his dirty laundry. This makes Vil extra pissed, thinking, "Fuck it. If I can't get my way playing fair, then I'll take him out of the competition."  After the battle, they apologize for how they treated him and undo the damage. I would've loved to see that play out, considering that would make the conflict more nuanced, and, for a lack of a better term, adult. If this was the case, Neige's teammates would be like Janice from Mean Girls in the sense that they were equally in the wrong and ruthless. Sure, poisoning people is wrong, obviously, but so is what they did.

What’s with the poisoned apple in the opening credits? And Kalim’s story that seemed like foreshadowing? And Jamil/Kalim’s skills about knowing how to deal with those who are poisoned?  Or Deuce falling behind the rest of the team? What about Vil pressuring Epel like he forced him into the competition for some dark reason? (Yes, I know he used Epel’s juice at the end, but there seemed to be more to it than that, because Vil could’ve poisoned any food or drink item and got the same result.) Those plot points sure lead to fucking nowhere.

Vil’s backstory seemed underwhelming and the least justified out of any of the dorm leaders so far. What’s his dark and “tragic” backstory? He just hated being typecast as a villain in roles and when he was very small some people were scared of him because they thought he was the same character that he played in a movie before they outgrew it for obvious reasons. Seriously, that’s it?! That’s his only motivation for steeping so low as to poison someone?! I get why he would be upset about about being typecast, but after seeing what others like Jamil went through during their pasts, it just seems like nothing. All actors are typecast in some way real life! I mean, people typecasted Robert Patterson after his role as Edward Cullen, but you didn’t see him snap like that after people doubted that he could play Batman. At least Azul was constantly bullied and fat shamed throughout his childhood, so his actions make far more sense. Vil just comes across as very melodramatic and his attempt to poison Neige just seems extremely unjustified. All it took was for a casting director say that “he wasn’t chosen for the role because they wanted a more ‘bland’ looking man in the main role” one time and Neige is his archenemy for life. It reminds me a lot of how Lance named Keith as his rival in Voltron, despite not knowing him. That seems rather OOC to me. Before it seemed like he was like Miranda from Devil Wears Prada where he was a strict and took things too far, but was professional and above else logical. Him declaring Neige as his rival just over that seems rather petty and isn’t something that a logical person like him would do. I wish his backstory was more inline with Jamil and Riddle’s where it alluded to some serious issues with the entertainment industry, just so that way his actions make more sense. (Seriously, you have no idea how fucked up entertainment industry can get. There’s a reason why former child stars are often so messed up in the head as adults.)

On a similar note, I kinda wish that the something happened on the team or in his personal life that pushed him over the edge like someone being injured on the team, putting the VDC in jeopardy, so he got desperate enough to do something that stupid and against his morals. Again, just so his actions made more sense and him trying to poison Neige came less out of nowhere.

Am I the only one that hates Vil’s overblot design? I’m a graphic designer. It looks far too busy, uses a lot of weird textures, there’s no visual hierarchy, it has nipples on it...for some reason, and he looks too much like those Virgin Mary paintings instead of a queen that he’s supposed to be. It just doesn’t suit his character at all. (Personally, if I designed the outfit, I would put him in a purple gown with a light purple cape, a high collar and crown on his head.) Then again, this is coming from the same person who hates Jamil’s overblot design, so take that with a mountain of salt.

Over all, I thought this arc would be epic, but it just felt meh when everything's said and done. I wouldn't be surprised it failed to deliver because of the hiatus making me build up false expectations for it in my head. Covid 19 probably messed up a lot of aspects of this arc. Understandable, but it still sucks, since I was looking forward to it.

Though, I swear if Vil loses the competition, because of “the villain must be punished in any Disney universe” bs, I’ll flip a table. (Because that’s not how things work in real life. This isn’t an underdog sports movie where a team can half ass their way to a victory. Neige’s team was super sloppy with their routine and Vil’s was just better on all accounts, so he should obviously win. Vil deserves that after all the hard work he put into this. Having Neige randomly win would go against what the game set up so far with it subverting a lot of anime tropes.)

Having said that, I love a lot of things about this arc. Everything until just this update is pretty solid storywise. Just I wish the story took its time more with this section to have it come together more properly. Though, I would’ve still liked Jack to play a larger role and for Vil to use his magic more often, since those were issues even before the update.

Eh, either way, I’ll just follow my original outline and make the changes I suggested in this rambling to my own take of the Pomefiore arc in my fic...once I get to that point, that is. It’s canon divergent anyways and I already said that arc would be different, so I don’t care if breaks away from the canon.